The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #238 Boyfriends Are Listening (Patreon Excerpt)

Episode Date: October 19, 2024

In this excerpt from our Patreon exclusive episode, we find out why Gianmarco and Russell still don’t have any sponsors. Join the Patreon to hear the full episode including more downsides on crowd work and outsmarting people. You can watch a video clip of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. If you like stand-up comedy, and want to see the best up-and-coming comics in your area, check out Don't Tell Comedy! Don't Tell Comedy hosts pop-up comedy shows in secret locations in over 200 cities worldwide. Get $5 off your first order with code DOWNSIDE: https://www.donttellcomedy.com/ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's new material show, The Silver Lining, in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older ontario only please gamble responsibly gambling problem for free assistance call the connex ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600 that mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with i gaming ontario so listen i do think this year or next year, we're going to get ads and, uh, uh, we're going to, I want to practice because I don't want to have boring ad reads. I feel like Tim Dillon, um, sorry, you, uh, had, was known for like very fun ad reads and then it must've got out of style, I guess guess because like he just would do these long rants uh-huh um and act outs and scenes or whatever but then it's just so boring now

they're so boring and i'm like we're both actors and one of us is an improviser and i feel like we we can do it we can have fun but we've also done a lot of voiceover auditions i've booked one in my whole life i've never booked a voiceover. Do you out for them? Ever? Ever once in a while. But it doesn't feel like it's ever been a real close thing. So Pate said we can really

try to figure this one out. So this is for Don't Tell Comedy. And I don't think we're getting money for this. But who knows? Maybe we do a good enough job. Okay. Is there a script? Yeah, there's a script.

Do I have it? I'll hand it to you in a second. Okay. I think there's two scripts. We are going to work on our ad reads and try to find what our flavor is. Okay. Do we do it single?

Do we do it double? Do we do voices? Do we do scenes? Do we break out? Do we do it single? Do we do it double? Do we do voices? Do we do scenes? Do we break out? Do we do characters? Okay, so version one, let's look at it. So you go first. Looking for a fun night out that doesn't break the bank?

Ever wanted to see- So part of it is that they want to feel like, oh, it's my favorite host that I love. Oh, okay, all right, let me start again. Not a newspaper salesman from the 1920s. Okay, let me start again. Okay. Hi.

Let me start again. Sorry. You've never booked a voiceover. All right, I'll start. I'll start. Looking for a fun night out that doesn't break the bank ever wanted to see top tier comics without paying top dollar more importantly can you keep a secret don't tell oh don't tell comedy puts out a one night only show in secret locations across the country. We're talking art galleries, planetariums, even on a boat. There's no two drink minimum.

And the lineups, oh, they're always different because comedy is best when there's a surprise. Woo. Okay. So a couple script notes. First, when you said even on a boat, I would think the third one would be like the most exciting. And you kind of went, just to give you some notes, we're talking art galleries, planetariums, even on a boat. There's no two drink minimum.

And the lineups are always different. I was already looking ahead to where we're going. And so I threw that out. Yeah, I did throw that out. I'm just trying to, like, I want to give it a downside. It should be depressing right How about this Depressing Well the downside

Or complaining Complaining Looking for a fun night out that doesn't break the bank Ever wanted to see Top tier comics without paying Top dollar More importantly Can you keep a secret don't tell comedy puts on a one night this is great there's no one no we can't do this one

um okay you do you do the ad read and i'm like you know if it was like a commercial would cut to a comedian like performing bits in between okay Okay, yeah, that's good. Looking for a fun night out that doesn't break the bank. So I went to college for musical theater. Ever want to see top tier? You're just going to do the setup? Or are you going to do the punchline of the next break? Well, you want to keep watching so you see where it goes.

Okay, okay. Sorry. Go back, go back. Looking for a fun night out that doesn't break the bank. You ever try a sex position for the first time and immediately realize why it's not one of the popular ones? Ever want. See, but it sounds like you're asking a separate unrelated question. It sounds like we're doing two ads at once or this is the same ad. We got two options for you tonight.

Don't tell comedy or get him fucked by a chum mark. Your question is the same answer as my question. We're all leading them to the same answer. Don't tell comedy or get him fucked by a chum mark. Your question is the same answer as my question. We're all leading them to the same thing. Okay, so then I won't do stand-ups with questions. I'll just do stand-ups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just no questions. Okay, okay.

Because that's how ads work. It's a lot of questions. Yeah. Okay. Looking for a fun night out that doesn't break the bank? So I went to the sperm bank, and they told me I finished too fast. Ever wanted to see top- tier comics without paying top dollar? Apparently you're supposed to wait for the cup.

More importantly, can you keep a secret? So last year, Jeff Bezos donated $25 million to help the homeless, which sounds generous, but I did the math. No. No, we can't do it like that. Okay. Okay. I don't know how, listen, can I be honest? I've never

listened to an ad in a podcast I always skip them You need to start listening, buddy I'm so quick to, 15 seconds, 15 seconds I hit it so fast and so hard I I'll be doing the dishes.

And that's what their premise is. It's like, oh, they'll be doing the dishes and then they can't. And I'm like, no, no, no. I'll stop doing the dishes. It's like, oh, I can't do it. You know, I just have to listen. Oh, you're stuck on the treadmill. Physically stuck. The doctors

hook me up and they make me run. No, no, it it's like i don't want to reach my pocket you know i thought stuck like the bars on the side they're like that i can't do the you run fat boy runs okay all right so let's let's go to we we are we no no no i'm done we are this copy We need to be better than this. Look. Okay, we can break up. You can riff on the lines.

Look. You want a fun night out? You want a fun night out? You want to go out and not break the bank? Okay, when I said break away from the script, you went right back into the script. You're looking for a fun night. Okay, so I said break, like break away from the script, you went right back into the script. You're looking for a fun...

Look, okay, so I was trying to think. We can kind of go into it naturally. Like, oh, oh my God. So I'm seeing Tova tonight. I haven't seen her in two weeks. And, you know, it's just like, what do you do? It's a fucking Monday. I mean, you know what I wish I could do?

What? If I was looking for a fun night out that doesn't break the bank. What? Because, you know, she's night out that doesn't break the bank. What? Because you know she's making me pay. Yeah, women be shopping. Women be shopping. And if you want to hear that kind of good comedy. Don't tell me where.

I'm going to tell you. Don't tell me. Okay. Don't tell comedy. Puts on one night only shows in secret locations across the country. We're talking art galleries planetariums don't tell me boats a baby could be anywhere where else could we do it uh a a planet fitness don't tell me alleys don't tell me alleys uh could be could be under a bridge like a troll in a box in a fox in the fox on the fox

around the fox it could be anywhere but don't tell there's no two drink minimum the lineups are always different because comedy is best when there's a surprise you know what i hate when i go to a show and i know it's going to be bullpur i'd rather not know and maybe it's just some random comedian i've never heard of before. Don't tell me the prices are reasonable. Yeah, I'm gonna, I don't give a shit. And you can get $5 off a show near you with the code downside. Don't tell comedy.com code downside.

I think this is real now that I'm reading it. Don't tell me that's reasonable. Don't make that fucking joke a single more time. Don't tell comedy code downside. All caps. D O N W D O N W is not the code. What is it? Don't tell.

I will tell D O W N S I D E at don't tell comedy.com. Okay. I think we do a different approach. I think we just read exactly what they say and we just are actors who read it. I'm not right now because it's not a fun exercise, but that's a nightmare to me of

making it up and riffing. Why? Because there's a lot of information in there and they've written it. Why would we just read it? Okay, but now that we know it, let's not even try to do it let's just let's just a regular conversation okay um what do you do what like when you when you have a night off when you're not in a in a broadway show uh-huh like what do you what do you do you've been you've been married for so long i'm sure the conversation is like like what do you it's actually a really good conversation still but i

um i do think that i i enjoy going to comedy clubs um but you know something lately i've not been enjoying is the kind of like club system you know you go there you have all these rules it's like one setting it can be smelly yeah a brick wall two drinks minimum two drink minimum is insane fuck up i i just want to go to a place where like i i look i i i the comedians i want to see you know the millennies and whatever they tour they come and go and i'll see them when i see them like how do i see like who's who's good in new york right now who are the up-and-coming comedians yeah like i can't afford millennia tickets right now no i just want to go someplace and i want to feel fresh and i want to be like wait there's comedy happening here sometimes i'm on a boat i'll

be surprised i'll be on a boat and i'm just like what if they tried doing comedy here yeah or or an art gallery yeah Yeah. Or. Museum. A museum. Can you imagine? Don't even tell me about it. I just don't. Does such a thing exist? I don't know. It does though.

Oh, you did know. You almost got me. Wow. I'm glad you finally asked. Dontellcomedy.com. If you use code downside, I think you get a discount. Yeah. Okay, so that was like the three-minute version.

So now let's make it 30. I also think we're doing a weird, I don't know why we've chosen the tactic of like we don't know. And then we discover it randomly. We need to tell them. But like who, okay, who are we talking to? Who do we know in our life? This is acting. Who do we know in our life that we want, that would want to go to oh it's my mom mom that's it yeah okay mom mom hello can you hear me please answer the phone mom mom mom so my mom so my mom she's she's always she's always

saying to me she goes you know she's in la she's like uh uh where do i go see comedy her friends will invite her to some weird weird her friends invited her to like drunk shakespeare whatever and she goes and she goes like what the fuck was this i don't like shakespeare i don't i i like being drunk i don't need to see other people being drunk yeah and i go i go like look you go to the clubs clubs got their own hierarchy they're they're all they're all corrupt for. There's Vinny Giardino is performing for some reason. And you go, what is this? And I'm doing this podcast in a month. And I say to her, mom, okay.

All right, now we got to do 30 seconds. This is the quick version. I was like, what the fuck? I go, mom, listen, I'm glad our relationship has gotten so much better in these last couple of years. You're never going to be able to do a quick version when you're including your mom. You're going to keep setting up all these long things.

My mom is always asking me like, what kind of comedy do I see? Do I go to the store? Do I go to the improv or, or, you know, they're, they're always sold out or two drink minimums. Dane cook. I say, look, if you want to just, if you want to know that you have a good night of comedy and you don't want to deal with, with spending too much money, go to a don't tell comedy show. It's a unique experience. It's not at a regular comedy club. It's in a unique space. Sometimes art galleries, boats, museums. It's fun. It's fresh and it's affordable. And it's even more affordable if you use code DOWNSIDE. All caps DOWNSIDE at DontTellComedy.com. That was good.

That was good. That was a good one. All right right let's look at script two are we doing these are we getting to put this on the podcast i mean we're putting it on i think we're going to put it on page is going to listen and go okay so next time hopefully we'll do it better just read the script all right let's all right let's let's try it okay let's just read the script once all right let's do it sincere let's's not be kooky. No, no, it's real. Hunting for a fun night out? Don't Tell Comedy's got your back. Don't Tell Comedy brings you a secret roster of top-notch stand-up comics

in a variety of intimate locations across the U.S., U.K., and beyond. We're talking shows in unconventional venues like boats, art galleys, and planetariums. This weekend, treat yourself to take some... This weekend, treat yourself or take someone special to something special.

Get $5 off your first purchase with code... Downside. At DontTellComedy.com. Okay. That felt good. When you do... I've taken some voiceover classes, and they always go it's very frustrating because they go don't sell it

you gotta be cool but then you go too cool and then they go well now it sounds like you didn't want to do it or you do first line mistake hunting for a fun night out don't tell comedy's got your back don't tell comedy brings you a secret roster of top notch stand up comics in a variety of intimate locations across

US, UK and beyond we're talking shows in unconventional venues like boats, art galleries, planetariums. This weekend, treat yourself. Take someone special to something special. Get $5 off your first purchase with code

at downside.com I really tried Don't Tell Comedy. Five dollars off. If any of our patrons, I know you're like, Jesus Christ,

we gotta spend more money. Go see a Don't Tell show of Use Code Downside. I think if they see enough, they'll go, oh, this is the show to advertise on. I try really hard

to not sell it that time and it was bad. You sounded like you were reading the part of the car commercial where they tell you why the deal isn't real. Yeah. The things you're good at, you're so good at. What am I bad at? Play it back. No. no no i'm kidding i oh man i want that ads tim didn't really did it well i here's the thing again listen we bought ads i agree i agree

but we want really we want more patreon supporters. More than ads, don't you think? Can we have our strategy discussions off the pocket? I want both. I want both. I don't understand. We need. You know me. I'm not an ad guy.

I don't understand how ads work. I don't know what that gets us. What does that mean? You know what? No. This is like, you're like also like you have like the cool, I call it the cool comedy disease. Tova will always talk about like, and this is something someone on TikTok talked about,

you have to climb cringe mountain. You like want all your comedy to be somewhat like pure. Yeah. Or something like always sincere and always true. And so there's a part of you that doesn't want to put on the face of like i got to do this commercial it's a little bit corny but i'm going to do it sincerely no no i i can i can do that i understand what you're saying it's a genuine place of of what do like do we get we just get the product it's like a genuine question of like they're not sending us money.

You know? Yeah, but they might. Like they might send what? Don't Tell Comedy sends us what? Free tickets to Don't Tell Comedy? No, Don't Tell would give us money. Really? Yeah. That's what I'm asking you. Now, here we go. Okay, okay. Looking for a fun night out that doesn't

break the bank? No, listen. I always thought I always thought that it was just like a product. So like Blue Chew would send us boner pills and things. We're trying to get money. Okay, well, that is what I was asking. So yeah, I'm on board. I'll sell my soul. I don't care.

Do you think I can go to David and say, hey, can I pay him blue chew today for the double session? I don't, they have other products too. They have hair things. You'll take it. Yeah. They have, they have,

you know, yeah, but they're paid in money. I guess so. Okay, fine. Let's do it. I think Mark Maron is like,

I got all the stamps. No, I could possibly use. you're right. I, I don't know. Yeah, you're right.

I don't, I don't know what I was thinking. I thought maybe at a certain level it bumps up, but I don't know yeah you're right i don't i don't know what i was thinking i thought maybe at a certain level it bumps up but i didn't know comedy clubs are old the system's broken it's a lot of old hacks rehashing material in boring places where two drinks are required hey you two in the front row you two fucking don't kill yourself we want fresh we want new we want affordable not just new comedy let's let's do new spaces why does comedy have to be in a in a in a dark dungeon why not a boat why not an art gallery why not planetarium that's why you can go and see a don't tell show you don't know who's on the show all you know is that they're picking top tier comedians because here's the reason that it works.

When you're a comedian and you tour, you have to be selective about what shows you do because your agent said, well, we need to get the market to come to this. What you can do, though, you can go on a show where they don't announce the lineup. And that's what's exciting about Don't Tell Comedy is that you will get comedians who aren't allowed to advertise that they're going to be there, but then you get to see them for an affordable rate. No two drink minimum. It's secret. It's fun. It's an event. Go on a date, go alone, make some new friends. There's no better way to find out if you jive with someone than knowing that the same thing makes you laugh. So go to don't tell comedy.com use code downside for $5 off tickets right now. Yeah.

That's good. That was good. That was good. Wasn't that good? That was the best one. There we go. That was the best one. Now I know money's involved, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're rolling. I hope you enjoyed this excerpt from the Patreon. Wow. We do two every month. Yeah. And if you want to see the rest, there's more. There's probably a full episode.

And it gets juicy later on. Oh, it gets juicy. Someone might show hole. And that's when we say the things we really think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we go, well, no one's going to hear this on the Patreon. But you know what? You could.

You could hear it. You could. Patreon.com slash downside. You get two bonus Patreon episodes every month. You get access to my, my comedy special. The rats are in me. Who gives a shit about that though?

It's about the new Patreons where we record and release really back to back. So we get into the weeds. We get topical. Yeah. Whatever Trump said that day, we're repeating it again and again. And a patron.com slash downside. Thank you very much for listening or watching

you're listening to the downside with John Marco Cerezi