The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #239 Bro Science with Emma Willmann

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

Emma Willmann returns to share the downsides of performing without a tooth, whether we’d take donor skin from a baby, pitching movie ideas under the influence, and we find out if any us really knows anything about science. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Emma on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and X Watch Emma in Tony Goldwyn's "Ezra": https://www.amazon.com/Ezra-Tony-Goldwyn/dp/B0CYCQBYNG See Emma on tour in Spring 2025! Dates and more info are at: https://www.iamemmawillmann.com/ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Shop at Sephora today. Limitations apply. Must be a beauty insider. See terms at sephora today limitations apply must be a beauty insider see terms at sephora.com for complete details i've never been given any uh cutoffs from any of my parents any of my siblings it feels like a super it feels like a super like oh well this is what i can do not everyone has this in their life. And I think Maria Bamford talked about like her sister at some point said, I don't want you talking about me in your standup. And there's nothing that you, cause I do have, I have to have one or two things that feel like too painful. Cause we're still in it a little bit that have to do with someone else

that I would feel bad talking about. You've got nothing that you would. Oh, there's, there's certain things. There's certain things, but no, it's more about Tova. Tova was like new where I was like, oh, there's things. She says, I don't want you talking about a conflict that hasn't been resolved yet. Yes. So at one point, I mean, it's not- Oh, even if it's between you, the two of you?

Just the two of us. Oh, that's tough, that is tough though. That is tough though. You're right. That would have been You can only talk about things in the world that are resolved Making you the most Becoming the most boring fucking person there ever was

We gotta call a ceasefire Because I got so much material on this This is so much to say but I can't talk about it This is really affecting him in ways you can't even imagine So I had this thing happen I was at a comedy club i'll keep it vague okay uh but if you look at the date on the calendar you can figure it out this is coming out in october just so you know okay we're we're ahead so i'm i'm performing yep stand-up comedy you're on stage on stage yeah there's a there's a uh man and a woman to my stage left. Okay. And they're like his arms around her.

Uh-huh. And I'm just – it's a late show. I'm being loose, being goosey. I start talking to them. I'm talking about dating. I say, what about you guys? How long have you been together? And they go like, oh, we just met.

And I'm like, you just met? And it's like, yeah, we were just – we met here at the club. And I was just like,'s so that's so strange and i noted i said and your your your arms your arms around her it's crazy yeah you guys are hitting it off and it's like and then they both get kind of cagey and weird and i don't i don't know i don't know why right from on stage i go uh maybe they just met in their slots and they want they don't want to like yeah or or or maybe they do know each other but they don't want to have this conversation. Maybe they're lying.

They're playing a little – because sometimes people do that. They go, we just met. Ha-ha. And then you go, okay. Especially couples. Couples will – they're the ones who like, hey, when the comedian asks us, let's say that we're brother and sister but then we kiss. Yes. They love that.

They love that. And then it's like, well, I have no flame of reference for you so there's a good one. Yeah. So they're being weird. Yeah. So they, they're being weird. Yeah. They're being weird. And, you know, I'm trying, I'm trying to joke off it about just how intimate and how they act surprised that I said, are there a couple?

And I like to make some joke, like he's fingering her while answering my questions. Like, what do you mean? We just met. Um, and yeah, good one. And, uh, real big act out. I did a hump. Sometimes I have the mic stand because i'm like well humping the stool is cliche but that's original right and um i'm trying to think what the second part of it

was was was like he was like sheepish when i mentioned the arm and kind of put it away and so then i start thinking i have this thought i go go, is he being physically touchy-feely and she's not comfortable? Oh, no. So suddenly I go there and I'm on stage. And again, I don't know which it is. Maybe they're flirting. Maybe they're having a good time. I don't want to be the guy saying, hey, you're being a little rapey over there.

Also, you've got really limited info that you're working with and she's and it's one of those things where like i don't have the capacity to talk to her right you know so i'm like i even i'm even like trying to joke through it yeah i don't go hey miss can i talk to you for a second off stage i go like would you be weird if you need some help right yeah and and uh so then, I come back to them a couple times. But at some point, it's clear. It's kind of clear that they were seated there together. The club seated a man and a woman who did not know each other at a table in the front row.

A little strange. Oh, yeah. So I find that out. And that starts, I leaned in towards, like, maybe he's being whatever. And I, like, joke. Do you find that out and that starts – I lean in towards like maybe he's being whatever. And I like joke – Do you find that out while you're performing? While I'm performing. This is all during the headlining set.

And you found that out from them? From them. Yeah. Yeah. Because they said that. Yeah. I mean, otherwise, how? And it was like – so now I'm like clocking at the whole show.

I'm like – her arm is not around him. Sure. His arm is around her. And so then I kind of like roast it a little bit and he kind of puts his arm away and I go, okay, well, maybe's it's it's your arm is not around him. Sure. His arm is around her. And so then I kind of like roasted a little bit. He kind of puts his arm away and I go, OK, well, maybe I diffused it. But but then later, like I clock throughout the show, he'll do one of these where if I tell a joke, tell one of my jokes. You're the woman and the comedian. I'm the guy.

OK. Moist or crunchy Moist or crunchy Oh man okay And I see it And what was she doing Was she going like this or was she leaning in She wasn't leaning in but she wasn't leaning away Oh boy

So again I just go like am I Is this a budding romance That it would be so weird but I'm also like something And then I go to them again and she says that she bought him a drink She says she bought him a drink And I go well she bought him a drink they're flirting yeah but then but then as i'm talking to another woman it goes no i said like you think you're gonna see each other again and uh she goes oh well i have i have a test to study for in the morning so then i'm back on two right oh and then another woman at a table goes she shook her head

no she's not into it and i'm'm like, oh, I should probably follow. She's probably right. Women lead and just body language things that I can't tell as a guy. And again, I just don't know. I just don't know what to do. And eventually, like, they stop touching. And I just, I finish up the show. And I, like, find her immediately.

I'm like, hey, is everything cool? And she's like, yeah, he was. He was being handsy. Oh, handsy oh damn placed at the table um and i'm like do you want me to walk you to your car do you want me to but during the show during the show i was making jokes right and it was like it's one of those things i'm like i was joking i said i'll see you all guys uh i guess we'll all see each other again in court soon uh and in my mind i'm like if she gets involved this is not gonna look good at all oh god that would be that would be the worst part is at the beginning. I thought I had a new crowd work clip. And by the end, I was like, I'm not posting this. Yeah, it got weird.

I kept it from getting weird. But I kept in my head, I just kept asking myself, like, should I be making it weird? Is it my responsibility to be making it weird? Is this clear? And I'm wondering if you would have behaved any differently. Was he giving you daggers? How was he looking at you? No, he was just looking like embarrassed and sheepish, like real, real, like fan vibes. Because he was probably trying to have it like slip in where it was like, it's like one of those things where it was just all going off of energy and then when you called it out it was like oh yeah this is kind of weird that i'm doing this but then but then later i swear when i saw this thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because i hate that yeah but also like how did it it is crazy to be like just to put your arm around

a stranger it's nuts it's nuts it's nuts in in a public and how do you do that for like were they talking or was it no talking and then all of a sudden just oh i've done it you've done it yeah stranger yep that you met at the show maybe not even talked yeah i've done it i've done it before i'll probably do it again but this is what it is it'll be like we're talking and i'd only do it with a guy and it'll say we're having fun like there'd have to be some type of body language that indicated that we were comfortable or like, you know, like when you laugh at the same thing, you make eye contact with someone. Yeah. So I would maybe say, say we're watching a show. Ha ha.

Or we're at a dinner party. We're at a dinner party. You say something. Me and the guy go, ha ha. It's later in the night. I don't drink, but say lots of people. It's like getting loose a little bit. night i don't drink but say lots of people it's like getting loose a little bit then i would maybe put my arm around the back of the chair to like indicate like i'm comfortable we're having fun

yeah that's crazy it's crazy i the first when you first put your arm up it was natural it didn't feel that crazy we have a long relationship together that's so true yeah without talking but if we were all in the same thing, and I wouldn't do it around him, but I would do it around the back of the chair, I would probably do that. Got it. I'd be shocked if someone did that. Even if it was someone that looked like me?

Like I'd be trying to show, like I'm trying to show, I would be trying to show like we're comfortable. If I was single and you did that, I'd go, oh. No way. No way. Yeah. No way. Yes. No way. Yes.

No way. If you're single and someone put their arm, you wouldn't go, oh. No, not necessarily. And I don't know you. And I don't know your body of work. And I don't know you have a Latino girlfriend. But for me, I'm a big guy. So people are always kind of like, big guy.

Sure, sure. You know, like that kind of thing. You get a lot of people with their arm around you? Yeah, they're just like, you know, you're a big guy. So people just be like, ah, you know. that kind of thing yeah you get a lot of people in there yeah they're just like you know you're a big guy so people just be like ah yes you know right yeah i would do i'll do it as like i'm trying to just be like friendly like i'll i would be but i'd put it i wouldn't touch the person but i would do it around the back of their chair if we were all like in this in a similar conversation yeah and if i was at a comedy show and i was trying to flirt with someone we were all like laughing have a good time i maybe put the put it on the back and then like if they

seemed into it i'd maybe like put it up I mean you you act like laughing at a comedy club is like a unique like wow there's chemistry here no it's a comedy club if you're laughing at the same thing and you make eye contact like if you go and then you both look at each other you go like you're both in on it that's romance okay it's it's a little bit you're both like we find the same thing quite funny. Ha ha. Man, a stranger. I've never in my life asked out a stranger without or like or I'm just so scared of the rejection. You have to also be. I've never asked out a stranger either that I can even think of.

But I would I'll feel comfortable being. But I wouldn't do it. I would only do it like a guy for sure. Because I thought that they would not think that I was hitting on them. Never – I wouldn't even have fathomed, thought that. Oh, God. I hate – But if I was on stage and I thought someone was being handsy and I didn't – and I wasn't sure about it, ooh, that's tough. It's tough.

That's tough. That's tough. Because in my mind, I was just like, if I'm wrong, I'm truly, I'm just like, I don't know. If he had grabbed her tit. Sure. Or anything. Or if she gave any indication. But when she said, I bought him a drink, I really felt thrown for a loop. Yeah. because that felt right why yeah yeah you go are you gonna get another one roofing him to like get him out of

the way but i just kept trying to keep it funny and then i was like i don't know if i'm joking or whether i'm like kind of or whether i'm discouraging him maybe to be like i see you buddy yeah you're calling attention to it he's trying was he cute uh he was were they like the same level of yeah okay i guess i'd be like she bought him a drink i would maybe be like are you gonna get him another one or do you see this going anywhere and if that point because maybe she thought there was something she gets him the drink then she's like i don't like him and then sure she's no longer interested the second she said she had school early in the morning i'd be like i mean she probably doesn't even go to school she's just trying to get him get him gone sure sure then i would probably then if he kept i don't know that

is that's tough because also the audience can't see what you're seeing so they might be like why is he so focused on this but that's why when the woman in the back said said she shook her head she's not into him like she saw something like and she wasn't like this. Right. But she's like, I saw something. And then I'm like, I just don't. Have you ever done crowd work where you found people having an affair? Like, I feel like that's something you have. I have where it's one time really distinctly where I was like, how do you guys know each other? And they were really all over each other.

And they said they were met in New York for the weekend. And I've said before when people have said that, I'm like i'm like oh like do your significant others know that you're here and people are usually like but they both were like and i was like whoa and then i said well you guys aren't on camera so they won't see anything and then they said yeah we're meeting up and then the guy was like i'm going through a divorce and she was like i'm working on it or something but it was very good on it It was very much a rendezvous. Right now, my openers, they'll get that audience angle. And they're like breaking news journalists.

Sure. And sometimes they get a little too close. And I'm like, guys, you're going to spook them. Right. They'll come right here. And I'm like, no, guys, no, no. They'll run around while you're on stage doing it? Yeah, they're in the back.

Oh, that's great. It's great. And then sometimes they get caught. And I go, guys, guys, you scared them away. You scared them away. They shut down. Because they'll start saying something juicy and then a camera pops up. Yeah.

So now we have a camera on stage. I mean, every fucking show is a goddamn film shoot. I'm fucking dying. But you know what happens then when you don't do it? Because I took a break from recording shows for a little bit. I was like, I had so much footage to go through. Once you don't do it, it might not be that show. It might not be the next one.

But then something's going to happen where you're like, it could never be recreated. Of course. There's no way. The other night there was like a warden of a medium security prison. But she also worked with teenage girls and she was like the teenage girls are way crazier than the people and she was just like spilling all the tea about the prison and i wanted to be like shut up i don't have a camera like this is killing me i don't want to know any of this crazy stuff i'm dying this is gonna make

me feel worse that i didn't take the extra 20 minutes to set up a camera i had one recently i talked about on the busy phillips episode someone someone brought out a cake and they sang happy birthday in the middle of my set no oh in the show i wish dear christ almighty that would have been okay that's great i didn't have the audio yeah i think the biggest regret i have won it was that lol comedy club oh yes and i talked about being on law and order svu and i had prepared this line in my head because it had happened before but it was a family show. And I said, I was on Law & Order SVU. And this little kid said, what episode?

I said, the episode where I murder a little kid for interrupting my joke. And I was like, God damn it. Yeah, perfect. Perfect. I would kill. This is The Downside. One, two, three.

Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside Downside You're listening to The Downside The Downside With Gianmarco Cerezi Welcome to The Downside Russell, I love how you weren't ready to come in and save my ass at all No, not at all Not at all

Welcome to The Downside This is coming out October 22nd Listen, we're a little bit ahead, guys And here's why We need more Patreon subscribers The more Patreon subscribers we have the closer we can get to episode and then we release it the next day it's a lot yeah it's a lot it's a team a staff everything new computers we're so so join the patreon patreon.com and also i said this before spotify people do the advertisers they don't care about video views yet someday maybe but right now what

they care about is spotify listens so even if you watch this just subscribe next time you have wi-fi it'll download i i'll we we started you when we started this podcast first episode i have no idea march 16th 2021 oh my god really yeah. Russell has not had an erection since that date. And he can't afford Bluetooth. Oh, yeah. We need Bluetooth. So we need. Did you know where I was going with it?

Or did you just go, oh, he's just. No, I know. We've joked about. We've joked about Bluetooth for a long time. We've joked about. We've joked about. Russell needing Bluetooth. His wife has given him to the end of this year

please subscribe to the Spotify is that the only option we have for sponsors is blue chew it's it's the one that everyone's doing man okay it's the one that is that him or right right to the camera like blue chew I'm gonna have a long

night and I'm like kill me kill me kill what is this? Just say. But we like Blue Chew. I wanted a boner. We want Blue Chew. Listen, there's other pills too.

Someone reached out and they say, I wanted to do a funny thing where I was going to start a show. I was going to start a show, Silver Lining. At the beginning, I was going to say, hey, I'm going to test out this product. It's brought to you by this product. I was going to take it all. And then whoever the comedian on, when they bring me back up, I go, no. I shout from the back because I have a boner or something. I was going to come up with some kind of bit where I'd

take all of it. But you wouldn't take all of it. It'd be a bit. It depends how desperate I am. We're here with Emma Wellman. Phenomenal. Thank you for having me. Emma Wellman, back. Early episode. You watch Emma Wellman's clip. It's a little bit jumpy. That's because it was using GoPros. Thank you for having me. glad to have you much higher definition i remember i remember that and i remember you saying we were

talking about the location of your apartment and you were like someday you know someday when i'm hopefully like putting out in the universe at the comedy cellar i'll be able to walk back to my apartment oh yeah i wasn't passing the comedy i remember thinking that when i was walking over here because i remember you you were like you're like putting it out into the universe isn't that neat when stuff like that happens it It is neat. But today I have a spot at the Comedy Cellar and all I can think is, why didn't I just take Monday off? Totally. Isn't that the truth? Motherfucker, I got to walk there, walk back.

Isn't that the truth? One spot. Right. Not going to push myself to do enough new. It's going to be a waste of my goddamn life. Right. What am I doing with my life? It's music night, so I'm not going to be able to talk to people.

What does that mean? Mondays they play music in the restaurant. But not not downstairs it doesn't affect downstairs but it is very loud yeah it is very loud you'd love it you love music it's fun if you like that type of thing yeah i also feel like i need to pretend i like i appreciate it i feel like like a like i'm trying to like i'm a alien protect from another planet pretending to be like a normal person but oh yeah this is fun and then i get out of there yeah that's the only time you you feel like an alien from another planet pretending to be like a normal person. This is fun and then I get out of there. That's the only time you feel like an alien? I feel like that all the time but in social situations

like that where I'm like oh and everyone's like oh this is great. I'm like oh it's great. And then I get out of it. Yeah. Now Emma I did your podcast which I was told is no longer? Ask Me Anything. So we didn't end up renewing the contract on it. We're going to switch the theme. Or we're going to switch like the topic and then start recording it was called ask me anything what

if i get this guy from the show i get the guy who's with his arm around the woman oh yeah ask him like what was the what were you thinking exactly sir what was the plan here that that every woman is just they're this close to sleeping with you you just have to show them that physical contact is on the table his plan was probably that he thought that there was like a slight chance and she wasn't moving away but his plan was bad because you never want to be touching someone more than they're touching you yeah i'd say the plan's bad even further also you can't move away she's at us you're right guys if there's like if i go back and i go go on the list of things you have to teach guys to be self-aware of, it's like you need to understand when someone is in a location and they don't have the option to move.

They are trapped. They're trapped. They are trapped. We all get in social circumstances where we're trapped. And sometimes sex, but sometimes other things. Conversation, too. Yeah. That's how I feel about Uber.

It's like, I'm trapped here. I was just going to say, that's a big thing because I feel like a big thing with small talk is, I'm all for it, making some friendly banter, but if someone is sending you the social cue that they're not into it, shut it down quick. If I'm giving one or two word answers, especially in an Uber, it's the only time I can really think of where then you're really trapped or you're sitting next to someone on a flight, then you've got to follow. I cannot believe when someone pushes to keep it going when you're

like and i'll be pretty i'll be like yeah i hear you and then i'll put you put your the second these are in shut it down that's my only downside thing about airpods is like i need something big i want to i want i want headphones that are a whole bicycle helmet just to be clear like i'm yeah yeah just don't get it twisted i can't these out. They are in for a mandatory of an hour. Oh, man. But yes, now look at that. Think about that. Whatever years ago it was, you were thinking about doing the copy seller.

And now? Now I am and just as miserable. Ain't that the truth? Isn't that how it is? That's just how it is. But the podcast was very fun to ask him anything. It was very fun to do. It was a really interesting social experiment in talking to men about gender. And I feel like a year was a sufficient amount of time to do that.

Russell would have been a good guest. He would have been a great guest. He's a great friend. He recommended you right away. Oh, that's so sweet of you. I did. I will say I had to make up for it because Ashley Gavin who thought Russell was gay

but was like I was going to do her podcast we're having gay sex and she was like oh my god I just saw Titanic I'll have you and Russell on together and I I had a moment where I said oh I wanted to do I wanted to do an episode

that's totally fair I'm surprised you told him that that i want no because she asked me oh she dm'd me and i was like this would be so fun we're gonna do this together and then he was like he was like i i did it so i did it i call i said i said i feel really bad right he told me that i reacted weird and then i called and immediately i said i feel so bad we can do it together of course i've just been waiting to do this three years no i didn't know that whole backstory of it it would be like the reverse i mean we did it separately it would be like if we're talking like like a show you want to be on if if rogan asked you on the journey and then suddenly he asked me and said you want to join russell and be like what the fuck i need

four hours to myself you kill t Featuring Russell and Jim Marco And you have a thing where you go I don't want to always be packaged With someone not that you are at all but Then did that go through your mind where you're like I gotta be An individual it was just it was just I was so excited to do the show And I'd waited it was like I waited so long And then I got it and again

It's not a big deal that's the thing where I just talk to myself right that's the anxiety Where it's like this is a big deal it's not a big deal right but it like in that moment is like no it all just was coming together right he'll ruin it he'll ruin it and ashley thought you were gay too yeah well i mean i'm in titanic and i present in a way and um uh but yeah you know. I mean, definitely. You're coming to see Titanic. It's super gay.

I was playing a woman. Oh, good for you. Yeah. That's right. I'm not familiar with Titanic. I'm not in it anymore. Yeah, it's a gay Titanic parody musical with a lot of Celine Dion songs.

And she's like the narrator of it. It's very fun. That is very gay. But we were. Very gay. Can we talk about that Will Ferrell thing? Did you meet him? No.

Oh, you did meet him though. I did meet him. And he looked, he looked good. Oh, great. Isn't that nice? It is nice. But it's also, it's also very funny when like, Will Ferrell has had money for a long time.

And he's fine looking. Right. But like, but like I saw this picture of him and, you know, he's 60 something. And it's the same way like Seinfeld did a photo shoot recently. And you were like, damn, y'all like you got some hair done. And you hired a person. They said, hey, we can make you good looking.

Yes. In a way that you never got to be in your life. Right. And they're like, yeah, we don't need to be funny anymore. Let's be hot. Have you ever seen Brad Garrett in person? No. No.

He's very tall though. He's gorgeous in person. Really? Nothing like the character on Everybody Loves Raymond was kind of dopey. His actual energy is nothing like that.

Like the man is and he is like well kept. Like you can just tell he put his money right away into there was something about him like that he is taking care of himself.

You can feel the money. I saw Nate Borgazzi at the cellar and I'm like it's chill. It's not like gaudy, but it's like his beard is perfectly shaped and his shoes are brand

new and all that stuff. And he's making some money. He is making some money. Did you ever see him when he wasn't making some money? No. It felt different and he looked different. But then he's gotten so good looking with age and access and money. It makes age and access. And money. Yeah.

It makes a big difference. Less stress. I would imagine. You have veneers. I do have veneers, yeah. I wonder if I had them when I was on before. These are veneers. I remember a story about you had a tooth thing when you came on before.

What happened? One of my front teeth broke. So I had veneers. These are all veneers. And then one of them broke when I was doing a boxing class. And then it came out and then I tried to get a dental implant and my mouth didn't take the dental implant. So I couldn't get another surgery for a while. And then I kept losing the temporary tooth. So that was- What do you mean you kept losing it? You put it down? I kept losing it. I would take it out when I would eat. And it was like, don't eat unless you're at your apartment. You can do your tooth. But then I wouldn't do that. And I just kept losing it. And I kept-

Would you go back to restaurants and say, did you see a i would take it out put in my pocket then i'd lose it this happened multiple times oh man how much is it it's like four hundred dollars oh it's like it's like a single airpod with no case so after i lost a couple of them i i was like that's it no more teeth you can't that's it so i like punished myself by not letting myself get a new tooth because i kept losing them and then i was like all, now you can get another one because I had to wait. I think it was like eight months before I could get the surgery. I kept losing the tooth. Multiple teeths did I lose.

My teeth are just floating around. I've been thinking about telling Russell to get veneers. So talk to me about – Okay. So what they do is they whittle – That's the part that's – They whittle it down. Yeah.

They whittle your – and here's the thing. So if the veneer falls off, it's not just like an open tooth hole space. You've got this like snaggle tooth, little pincely, thin little thing. But weren't you scared of that part? Like that's the scary part of veneers. They basically first have to destroy your teeth. Destroy your tooth. Yeah.

Ah. When I first got them done, I didn't even, I was just like, my teeth weren't even that bad i just had like a tiny little space ironically in the place where my tooth was then missing so i had this space like big space for a long time but i wasn't the first time i got it done i wasn't even thinking when i went back around i was like they're like oh they already whittled them down too much they can't do that and i was like oh it's once those teeth are whittled down the real tooth is gone gone they knock you out to whittle your teeth down they much? They don't knock you down, but you can't feel it at all.

But it's still, you can feel like a grind in a little bit. I know, I know. How long does it take? When I had to get them redone, I was in there for like a couple hours. But I had to get them all redone. I think the thing is, yours look great. These look great. The ones I had before this were a little.

Yours look great. These were very expensive. When you watch on TV film, though, it's so jarring they look like the mask yeah yeah it like sometimes you'll see someone you're like oh my god yeah and it completely takes you out of too white yeah too big too big too white yeah it's like such a fine balance did you see a picture of of what your teeth look like with no veneers like all of of them? I have. I can show it to you. Can I see it? Does it look like a shark? It looks like it's very, it's gross. Like, and it's also like this tooth has not gotten brushed at that point in like years

and years and years. So it's like really. Oh my God. How does it not rot? It's disgusting. But also I didn't know that's what it looked like until it popped out. And then I was like, what the fuck? But I didn't, I was just not taking care of myself like i didn't care i was like i

don't care i gotta i gotta keep it moving keep it moving like i i would go on stage with my teeth either fucked up or i when i got at the surgery one of the times my mouth got all swollen i still went on stage i shouldn't have done that that's not good for me or the audience yeah it's weird did you feel like the laughs are bigger though did they go look at this fucking mess up there well i started leaning into it a little bit when I was just missing the two. But when my face was swollen, that was too much. Because people were kind of like, I think they were like, you know? Sure. Well, I saw it so weird.

We're like, Madonna, I don't know where there's the Grammys. But she looked, she looked, it looked bad. I haven't seen it, but I've heard. We don't have to pretend. This was when it was swollen. I mean, it was fucking swollen. I know. And you went on stage? And I went on stage. And then I was, I don't know what. I know,'t have to pretend. It looks really bad. This was when I was swollen. I mean, it was fucking swollen. Oh, my God. And you went on stage?

And I went on stage. And then I was, I don't know what. I know. You should have seen the other guy from comedy. Did you have an opening line for it? I had an opening line about the tooth that was just like stupid. But nothing was. Tell me.

What was it? I joked about it. This is really bad. It's embarrassing. I joked. And this was before. I've seen so many people do this joke since then. But I had no tooth. So I said, oh, guys i guys i just got the vaccine and then my tooth popped out

and then i would do something on the vaccine it's stupid stupid i cringe when i like but that was like the very first thing we all we all said the vaccine jokes it's it now i i'm they really killed for a while i forgot that i even did that and then i was listening to a set from a long time ago and i was like oh but that's how I would do. I only do one COVID thing anymore. I go, I don't talk about COVID anymore. I'm sick. I'm so tired of washing my hands every time I shit.

I didn't touch it. And that's the tag I got this year. I didn't touch it. Didn't touch that poop. I've got to have a picture of me with a little smack. So then later you saw Madonna and she looked like, it looked fine. And it was like, oh, she had, it was still swollen. Right.

And I was just like, I know, but like, you don't have to perform. I mean, I mean, you can, but like everyone, everyone pointed it out. And to be fair, I understand looks, looks, looks. If someone comes there and it's very clear that they just had the most intense plastic surgery of their life and they look their face looks three times as big what do you expect what do you expect the world what do you expect also she's gonna say something time it out so that doesn't happen but maybe they did and then she said oh one more change and then it was still swollen and she's older and it takes more time who the fuck knows yeah my girlfriend got annoyed at me because she had gotten her i'm looking for the tooth thing she she had gotten her lips done.

And then she came out with me. She got them done. And then the next night she came out with me and they really swelled up. And I was doing this show somewhere outside L.A., Huntington Beach, doesn't matter. But the guy running the show, he's like, bye, Emma. And then I said, oh, this is my girlfriend. And you see my girlfriend, her lips, like she looks like she's gotten punched in the face. So I said, it's my girlfriend.

I go, she just had her lips done. That's why she's all punched in the face so i just my girlfriend i go she just had her lips done that's why she's all you know and he goes oh okay and then we left she goes why would you tell him that it was like because it looks like you got punched in the face and i didn't want it to and she was like yeah but he doesn't need to know that i just got my lips done and also he doesn't care and and you could have still punched me the face i was like ah but it was like, her lips were look, they looked crazy. Yeah. It looked like she got plowed in the face. I was surprised. I took a picture of my sisters and one of them had just gotten either Botox or chin, not a full surgery,

but an injection. Sure. And they were so, uh, not self-conscious that I would like put it online or that it was very clear that they just, but I think it was more like an LA thing. Right. I think it's like, well in LA it's like, yeah, I just had my chin done. We all had our chins done.

Right. We can't be like. It's part of the process of life. How often do you have to do lips? Like if you start doing them, was it Botox or was it a surgery? She got fillers. So fillers in your lips, it feels like every six months, but I get fillers right here. And then now I'll do that like every five to six months and i get botox all over you guys don't do botox at

all oh no this oh the second my forehead even moves i go whoop why you want to be expressive yeah i want to be able to go like this yeah but this is i'm getting i'm going in this is a little too much for me oh but i go it's i had to have a real like come to i had to have i don't know why i got self-conscious of saying come to jesus moment with i had to come to jesus moment with or whatever you believe in leviticus talked about the botox i had to come to turn water into botox because i was going to my botox guy like every three months like clockwork but i wasn't getting like a i hadn't it went like two years without getting like the type of checkup i actually needed to do so because i was like i don't have time to go to the doctor i'm trying to go doctor but every i like the second i feel it move i i call it in well

i i guess i've i never of all the things that i have problems with my looks but you don't have you don't have lines first of all but if i had lines it'd be okay it's so it's more than okay i'm pro line if it if you if it works for you but i had line when i started getting botox i was having problems with acne and so i was like i want something that i can control i can't clear up my skin with the acne but i was like i can at least make that but i had deep lines i'll show you i had deep lines in my forehead that were there even if i wasn't making an expression so your forehead sure you, it looks healthy. Talk about Russell's forehead.

I've always had this one line. His looks healthy too. Like since you were like a babe? Young, yeah. Because I had really bad acne too, so I was like, what can I do? I feel really, when it comes to like beauty stuff, like I don't do any skin care. Moisturize? I don't do any skin care. You don't moisturize? I don't do it regularly enough.

Like I'll do it and then you fall. I'll do it, and then you fall. Like, I'll do it for a while, and then I stop. Do you know what I mean? So what do you guys do before you – because I used to not have – I splash some water in my face. This was my acne at the worst. So this picture was taken October 11, 2017. But you can see the lines.

Like, look how bad my skin looks. Guys, this is one where you probably don't want to watch the video, guys. But see? So those lines are pretty ingrained. So I'm obviously older, a lot older now than I was in that. But like... Thanks. To quote Mitch Hedberg, every photo

is a picture of you in the past. See? Sure. But here's the thing. Whatever works for you. This is just how I prefer it. I mean, it looks more intense because I'm literally holding a baby with no wrinkles, which I do think about when I look at babies now, which is kind of fucked up. You're like, oh, look at that skin.

So smooth. Oh, so smooth. I think how much money it would be if I were to make my skin look like that. Like a baby's face, priceless for so many reasons. If you went to a doctor and he said hey i can give you some new forehead skin i can't tell you where i got it from are you saying yes and it stays that way forever i'd be curious i would say no but i go well i mean i yeah i'd be curious he said here's this new thing it's definitely from a baby we killed, but the baby's already dead.

And so. Sure. So the baby's already dead and it's like an organ donor, but just for forehead skin. And the baby, they killed the baby? They killed it for you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's too harsh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No, but it's already happened. No, no, no, no. Well, that's like, that's like you use all the paper. The tree's already dead. Yeah, I feel bad about that. The baby died of natural causes. Natural causes, yeah.

And the parent, I mean, you paid good money to have just forehead, and it was just baby skin. The parent says, hey, I need some money. In fact, the parent has another kid, and that kid's doing great. And their forehead looks fucking awesome. But they need some money for their kid to go to school and so they they decided well the dead baby you're turning it into a great thing there's no like right now I'm a hero for taking it I'd be an asshole if I didn't take it but I would almost be like I was I don't know what stem cells are but I was like

googling around about that you guys know about those well you didn't get very far on your googling you don't even know what it is I know it's very but I like if you said the new forehead on my skin I know enough where I go I don't even know how that would work

but if you were like if you I don't know but it's more about so okay stem cell I mean I believe that's

I'm pretty sure that's we're talking before I know this for sure we're not talking about a baby after birth right no we're talking about fetus or nothing we're talking about I want know this for sure. We're not talking about a baby after birth. Right. No.

We're talking about fetus or nothing. We're talking about in tubes. I want to do a deep dive on it because it's not something that you see pop up too much. But I'm interested in longevity and Botox stuff. I'm talking a three-month-old baby that fell down some stairs. Oh, God. And you have to tell people at parties when they go, wow, that looks great. Right. Oh, thank you.

It's a baby. It's a baby it's a new baby damn i don't think i'd be able to do it and i what if you put the name of the baby like you know like a little forehead to keep it keep it that's the part that's the part that bothers you you said kill the baby for the procedure i said just it just is dead he just wants to honor it yeah i think i would i think i would also think like energetically like the baby's like energy i would i would feel weird about that totally but i mean just that i'm right next to the brain you know your brain's gonna be like mama and you're like oh my god oh that poor

little baby i would feel bad i wouldn't be able to do that but anything that has to do like with to my body in terms of like you know playing, playing around. Like I would say I'm pretty progressive. I'm pretty the opposite of risk averse. Like I'm very open to like trying stuff. So I'll do like vitamin injections. I'll do that. I'll do that. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of like NAD or glutathione. Like I'll do at home injections with that. But why am I going to be in the leading edge of that stuff? I I'll wait till, till I see how it affects. Totally. You know what I was listening to today?

What? I was listening to a podcast about testosterone is really for cis guys. And it was talking about this guy, late 30s, very fit, healthy. It just started to feel a little sluggish. And he's like, I want to be optimal. And he's able to get it.

There's all these commercials. And basically it was good for a week. And then he started being moody. And he said, I had sex. I couldn't feel anything. And then when they take you off the testosterone, your body has stopped producing testosterone altogether. So you crash.

And I go, I go, I'm not, I never want to be the front of this. That would never happen if in a week end, he already had some other type of problem then. Because if your body would stop producing the testosterone that it needed to produce just from like a couple weeks of supplementing it, you are already – something weird else is going on. And he saw – he didn't see the right type of person to like gradually – because your body – if your body just stops producing testosterone from that, that should not – like we produce human growth hormone, right? And if you take human growth hormone, then that can make it so you don't produce it. But you can take things that make it so you produce more of your own human growth hormone because it's a cycle.

I have to do one quick ad break. Testosterone. It's healthy. It's good. You need it probably. Testosterone. That guy, he was a bad sample size because if all of a sudden he stopped, maybe over – he would have had to have taken so much to do. My girlfriend says – I should not even talk about health stuff because she's like it's all bro science that you're reading.

But I've read a bunch – I've read a few books. I read one. To be fair, you said – I don't even remember the name of it. You Googled stem cell. David Atiyah. No, Peter Atiyah. Whatever.

I've read a book. That's the name of the author. Yeah. That doesn't – what was the book about? Longevity. Longevity. Pestosterone? Oh.

He talks about that a little bit. It's about the aging of – because I was – I've been getting – I got interested in this stuff because I was interested in my – I kept getting cold. So I'm like, why do I keep getting cold? So I started reading about immune function and the immune system and I started reading about mitochondria in your cells. And then that gets into anti-aging stuff pretty quick because cell aging is what they attribute to making blah, blah, blah. People glaze over what I'm talking about. Are you science are you science brain though no no of course not so mean either right and so i go and i get confused quickly and easily something i mean i fucking i remember when when my dad had the heart surgery right and he they're telling me like what they're gonna do they're

gonna take a uh see they're gonna take an artery from his leg and put it in his heart and i'm trying to listen to this doctor tell me an artery in your leg and put it in his heart and i'm trying to listen to this doctor tell me an artery in your leg who knows and he's telling me he's telling me about my dad and whether he will die my father will die the stakes are high the stakes could not be higher and i'm i'm like i'm saying my set is i say listen and then two seconds later i go and i've i'm completely lost totally what you're talking about. You don't have to do the surgery. Sure.

But it's just like, but that's why I'm not doing anything outside the realm of. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yes. Yes. And will that maybe if the government ever wants to sneak in some poison? Sure. But I think sooner that than me making my own decisions based off fucking whatever the fuck.

But what about with things like vitamins? Because vitamins, there can be like a toxic. I mean, but I'll get into it with like biohacking. Like I'll do red light therapy. I don't even know what that does, but I know it makes my skin better. I know, but it's probably all psychosomatic. I think it really works. I think it produces more collagen in my skin.

I really think the red light therapy works. What's collagen? See? We deeper your skin deep but i look better what happens what do you what is red light like where what happens so what are you you how now why would you inquire further after we don't know what collagen is so what it does is you want to have it people say that it can help with like muscle relaxing and it like makes the light people say this like people will say i don't know who these people are either many scientists many people many people i started going to like biohacking places when i'd be on the road i go i'm tired what can i do and they go oh do this try cryo then once you're in with the cryotherapy which

is like freeze you and that helps with circulation i've done the cryotherapy what do you think they charge you like six thousand dollars you can stand in a fridge for 30 seconds it is expensive but if you go on the road then it's like much less expensive they charge you let's say you go to la they charge you let's say uh eighty dollars you can spend 40 seconds in the coldest tube of your life uh-huh did you feel anything afterwards cold yeah it's it makes your circulation like because you're so cold and when you get out then all of a sudden your blood's like pumping and pumping and pumping why is that good it's good because you suck at shit it's good because it's good because wait i really should know this because i do listen to the

it's good because then it's like if if're stagnant in the circulation, then it's like helping your body. Then it's like regenerating. There you go. Buzzword. Regenerating. What's regenerating? The circulation is regenerating, which is important. Why?

I mean I can't look at you because I know I'm talking out of my ass. But it's regenerating. The mitochondria is regenerating. The other mitochondria. The nucleus is key with what it's doing. I felt better after I did the cryotherapy and I was doing it for a while, but when I was working out a bunch, I stopped because I do know this.

It is so good with inflammation that if you do it like right after you've worked out, it then will like affect you building more muscle. That's all I know. That's what a trainer I work with said. Listen, I got the nutritionist. I did the things. We're doing the same stuff.

Yeah, it's tough. I just moved. I do 16-8 now. I know he said he was doing the fasting. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. The moment you talk about it, it sounds like you're like, oh, I just got an eating disorder. Right, right.

It's been working great. Great. Yeah. I could not hack that. So I'm good for you for doing that. All I will say is this, is that the only reason it worked for me is I always was just like health conscious. I just never had dessert. I never had anything fun for a very, very long time of my life. And now because of this, maybe just mental, whatever, I have had the best meals of my life.

Oh, great. I have dessert now now i'll have the three drinks right and the i still have that little neuroses in me but something about the fasting of it all i go oh it's it's totally fine and it's supposed to give you energy and all that feel like okay so like i was with you uh i take the electrolytes is what changed it for me great because i thought i couldn't work out in the morning without food and the electrolytes i feel fine i have the lmnt salt that stuff is great that changed the game for me because I thought I couldn't work out in the morning without food and the electrolytes. I feel fine. I have the LMNT salt or whatever.

That stuff is great. That changed the game for me. What were you saying? Well, I was saying, cause you is 12 to eight basically where you're, where you're living and eating and stuff. Uh,

yeah, usually 11 to seven. Yeah. Okay. Something like that. So, but like, Oh,

okay. 11 to seven. I mean, it could shift. I was worried about shows. I felt like I was nervous when I was hitting my two show days where I was like, am I going to be starving? And I, I wasn't, I wasn't. And. I thought like, I was nervous when I was hitting my two show days where I was like, am I going to be starving?

And I wasn't. That's great. And so much of eating, I was a grazer. Yes, I'm a grazer. I mean like I would eat just constantly. I mean even the carrots. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd eat a whole bag of baby carrots every single day. Yeah. And it started because I was in Australia and the promoter was taking me out to these insane meals. And I saw in my head I didn't want to come back from Australia and feel like, fuck, you got to get back in the shape. Slug of shit. And so I just said, okay, I'm just going to – I just did it. And I'm sure you seem –

Did you do it so you could tell the guy you couldn't eat with him? No, so I could fucking like have the best meal of my life and feel okay. Right. And I just did it and I've been doing it since. I could not – I tried it. I could fucking like have the best meal of my life and feel okay. Right. And I just, I just did it and I've been doing it since. I could not, I tried it. I could not hack it. It did not work for me because if I get hung and I know it passes, but if I get hungry,

then something will snap and I'll like eat a bunch of shit. But if you, my dad does it. I don't have that snap thing, but I get it. I get it. And I get how that could work. My dad does that and he swears by it. And are you, are you still taking Adderall? So I take it very, very infrequently.

Okay. Partly because every morning I get up and I go, oh, I want my coffee. Yes. And they told me don't take Adderall. Why? What happens? It's just like it's already as a stimulant. Oh.

It's a lot in your little system. Heart attack. Right. Exactly. And so I do it infrequently. Like sometimes I want to do it more and then it just doesn't fit. And I go, that's fine. I'll take it when I just like need to do my work day.

So the person who gave it to me, who prescribed it to me. Right. I talk about it on stage, but literally is what happened is like I said, you know, you have to see them to get the prescription. Right. And I said, like, I'm whispering like, whispering like yeah like no recording this um and and i said like oh i smoke pot uh i just asking all my questions sure how how soon how long after i get out or like do you think it's fine for me to smoke pot and this doctor said uh we're on zoom uh let me just let me google it real quick and Google it. That's not what you want to hear.

I was like, dude, this whole prescription game is a fucking – Yeah, was it a – did you Google like how to get Adderall online? No. It was a referral from another person who should have known better. Yes. Or just I'm like that's what this particular kind of doctor is. And I was just like this is such a goddamn motherfucking scam. Hell health gets real wonky.

And I'm paying, I'm getting the discount rate. And it's like, we're talking like 400 bucks for a person who goes, let me Google it. Right. And like 400 bucks. And so it's just like such a like, okay, fine. I guess. Sure.

I guess this is the only God. I wonder what his rate of saying no is. I wonder if he ever says no to people. There's no chance. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. Listen, I think I present,

I present, uh, uh, you know, not like, right. And you just know, right.

Can I have a, can I have a thousand pills? How can I get my pills quick? But I have to go back to my, I have to go back to my fucking doctor to get my Ambien represcribed and I have to see him every three months. And I'm like, I have to make this appointment. He's not free for another four months.

I'm going to run out of Ambien. And I'm fucking, I'm losing my goddamn mind. I'm like, you need me to come there in person or set up an appointment and you're not even free. And for me to do this, I still got sleep problems. I haven't taken the Ambien in an unreasonable – I'm not getting a refill super early. I bet you can get that Ambien. I bet you can get a telehealth person to give you some more Ambien.

Sure. But it's just like – It's a racket. It's a racket. Where the thing I'm trying to say, I want to say to the doctor, doctor, I'm going to get the Ambien. Whether it's from my mom's collection or someone on the street, I'd love to do it the right channels. Why are you doing this? You think you're helping with preventing – because New York, I guess, is really strict about it.

Sure. And I think they're strict about the Vyvanse and Adderall too because I used to have to see my person every three months for the Vyvanse, which is like a version of Adderall. It's fucking nuts, dude. It's so expensive. I've got to get my heart medication and it's cholesterol lowering and i can only get 30 pills at a time if i'm going out of town i can't get 90 can i get some more well they say well your your your insurance doesn't cover the 90s so you have to talk to your insurance well we can do a coupon and it's only this amount of money and it's just oh my god and god forbid you lose your pills.

Have you lost some pills? Luckily I'm good with. I've lost many a pill. I have my toiletry bag. Tova got me a toiletry bag a long time ago. Leather with my name. And it is. Clutch.

I imagine based on what I know of you, your ADHD is worse than mine. Could be. Definitely is. Yeah. Definitely is. So, but my system is always just like i never lose my i generally never lose my wall because it's always on my person the only time i have is if i took it

off my person for some goddamn reason i always have my phone that's where i fall short i take things out put them down it's the same thing with your tooth yeah and i i all the time i have that thought in my head where i go don't put that there, Joe Marco. You will forget it. I go, well, just remember it. It's there. And I always go home and I go, fuck. God damn it. So I will do tricks. So many times, especially when Tova's not home, I'll leave it right in front of the goddamn door.

So I have to see it. I have my own tricks. I do that too because I go, it has to be out. Otherwise, I'm going to forget that it exists. And I'll put something near the door, but then I can't put too many things near the door it has to be like key key things but i didn't have any of these tricks when i was losing my tooth because i kept losing the tooth i even got an adhd consultant but and this was kind of funny you had to buy a pack of set you had to buy like a five pack you weren't allowed to just do one because i'm sure so many people with add just

like did it and then dropped off sure but i did one and then i dropped off but i paid for five of them and i remember the woman her qualifications were just that she had add and it was just like telling you what worked for her and i was like this isn't i didn't get anything from it but i want to learn like more tips and tricks about add working out helps a lot the more i work out the less i make forgetful with with stuff when did you start taking medication i started i started taking adderall when I was young. I think I was in high school and I didn't understand how it,

I had no frame of reference for like what it did to your body. Because the stuff is like pretty, it's strong. Like I remember right when I took it, I remember clearly being like. I take it and I go like, I'm a chatty Cathy.

I become like, it's what I imagined cocaine would kind of do to me. Have you done coke before? I did it twice, but like not in a way where I enjoyed it. I didn't feel anything good. I just, I just felt my heart beating a lot and I couldn't get it up. Totally. Have you done cocaine?

No, never. Too scary for me. Would you ever, if it was like, hey, this is from the. No, no, no, no. My, my limit is shrooms. Like that's as far as I can go as a human. Have you done them? Yeah. Shrooms. What we did just far as I can go as a human. Have you done them? Yeah.

Shrooms. We did it. Oh, good for you guys. You'd do it again? I would, yeah. What about ayahuasca? You know. I was just reading about it on Twitter today.

I'm curious, but it kind of scares me too. Well, something someone put on Twitter today, they said they showed a video of like, and it's, I mean, it's a bunch of, this video was a bunch of white people. Right. And it's, I mean, it's a bunch of, this video was a bunch of white people. Right. Like in a forest somewhere. Sure. Being tended to by people who look like they weren't, didn't have the same amount of money.

Yes, yes. It was such a, what do you call it? Just like a role playing. Yeah. Or just like, ooh, we're going to go to the woods. Yeah, right. And this person who's foreign. And this thing was saying, there is a word for that.

And I can't remember it either. Roll, we're playing LARPing. I don't know, but something kind of shitty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But this person on Twitter, they said, Oh, my,

my friend's wife did this and then came back and quit her job and left her family and got with a new man. Oh shit. Crazy. But that's why I didn't do shrooms once. Cause someone in college, they got really depressed after. And I'm like, I don't think it was the shroom.

Exactly the same with the testosterone guy, the guy that didn't feel anything and all that. Because I know I have a friend that did it and he has done shrooms a bunch and he did ayahuasca and he was like, it's so potent and you feel really nauseous. That's what he felt. He said everyone around him did.

But he was like, it gives you a lot of new things to think about. And you can really see yourself out. He said it helped him get over a breakup. But he said just compared to shrooms, it was in the same vein. So if you did shrooms, you could handle that. The nauseous thing freaks me out. I don't know why that

is. Really? But you're kind of fucked up. So you're not going to really be all there while you're throwing up. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I just, you know, I just don't feel like it. It would be something bad. My fear of ayahuasca, too, is like, I think my dream for what a drug would do is it would just make me believe in God. And I'd rather be like, maybe that drug's still out there than do them all and be like, nope, I still haven't seen the face of God. I'd rather believe like, well, you know,

there's a God and one day you can take the thing until I die and I don't have to confront it. And ayahuasca would be the one that would be the most believable one that then you would like see it, I think. Because if you did coke and then you saw God, I don't think, I think the second you came down, you'd be like, it was the coke, you know?

It's a sad thing., like some Wall Street guy. I just got himself. But ayahuasca, then you'd have people co-signing like, oh, yeah, you really, you know, you saw him. Because that's an experience, or her, whatever. That's an experience people have with ayahuasca. It's supposed to be very spiritual. I would not do it myself. Have you done shrooms?

I wouldn't do them. I got too scared because I'd be shroom anything like that. Now I'm sober, so I really wouldn't. But even when I was like into trying stuff, I wouldn't because that to me, that's just not that experience isn't attractive. Like Coke, even though I did it once, that's attractive because I would think of it like, yeah, like productivity, like I like an upper. He tried to make it productive when we were doing shrooms. He was like pitching lots of ideas. I love that.

I always bring a notepad. I love that. I'm a notepad boy. I used to do that when I was drinking. And I remember one time I got like wasted this one night and I ran into this agent. I was in Philly. I was opening for my friend and we run into this agent. This is a bad combo.

She's not in the business anymore. Did you ever meet her, Hillary Robbie? No. She used to work at WMA. Tova would know who she was. So I run, she used to be like at shows all the time. So she pops up. She was like there for like a school reunion in Philly.

I'm opening for my friend. We're talking. I don't really remember this. And the next day I wake up. I'm like I'm all hungover. And she texts me. She was like, love those movie ideas. And I went, oh, no.

And I was like, what? What? And then I asked my girlfriend at the time, I was like, what movie idea? She was like, you don't remember? She was like, I couldn't get you to shut up. She was like, I was trying to get you to go. And you just kept going, one more thing, one more thing, one more thing. And I was like, oh, no.

But that was one of the most harrowing texts I've ever got. Because you don't want to be that person. You know, there's some probably Hollywood movies that get made that way. Sure. If the person is famous enough. Sure. Some every Quentin Tarantino movie. I don't think she was making fun of me,

but I don't remember what these movie ideas were that I said. And like, I was like, that was like a wake up call. It could have been, I mean, it could have been, there could have been so many things that would have like gotten through to me

less, but love those movie ideas. Cause then you just picture. Well, what's funny about that is that because you have no idea, they weren't ever a sober like thought in your head. Absolutely not.

It wasn't like something you were carrying around that you got drunk and you're like not ready to talk about it. It was incorporating your environment. You're like,

what if a refrigerator like ate two couches and they became a machine? Exactly. They got Sylvester Stallone's in it. And I've taken script writing classes but i've never like from them like that would have been it just completely didn't track and there were many ideas there was a scene remember there was a scene in louis where like some agent loves to stand up

and like i'd love to hear movie pitches oh yeah so there's like a guy and he's sad i i've had enough pitch meetings and it's one of those things where I come with ideas and like, they're like, let's hear these ideas. And then I, I tell them and I tell them passionately and then they go, they go great. Well, if any more ideas come along the way and you're like, oh, I like, I've seen the light one time I was pitching a TV show and it was like, and I was warned, don't say this, but I said, and maybe like, maybe the main character, like he, he, he is a standup comedian and I saw like, as if, as if like their soul just left their body right and we're out also they it's so many times when doing those meetings it wasn't with people that were like decision makers

who knows no it's okay it's the sense of like you're in this meeting and you're like you're like this these people that i'm on this meeting with have this meeting five times a day with different people and they're getting paid to do it and then i don't think anything gets me like when you're in that meeting you're like you feel like i don't think they've had one meeting this year that has resulted in all these all these guys they're all getting fired all the time yeah i had so many i had so many post jfl meetings where like I swear there was one like the next day. I read a deadline. Oh, no, no, yeah.

I was like, those are all the names I did a Zoom with. Right. And they're all fired from Sony? They're all dead. They're all dead now. I did a big Zoom with Sony once. I remember it was like, yeah, there was like 13 people on the call. And then you're like, I'm sure they all got fired.

Yeah. So I guess my dad, at some point my dad dated like a like a supermodel nice and he he left she left him for the vice president of sony or whatever oh and i remember he says son you'll never know pain until a woman leaves you for a man who has more money than you and i really it really got through to you wow i just i just remembered i was like, no, this is a reflection of your problems. But it was just interesting to have it phrased that way. My dad, he's a good-looking guy. I'm sure this Sony vice president was not as good-looking as he was.

Probably not. It's not his money that got the model. Right, right. But it was just to see that's how he viewed the world with money. And I think as you get older, you do see. That's a very common thing too. I'll hear like, especially with like attractive women going to someone, they'll like go right to that. And hey, maybe some of these women actually do like the guys.

We don't know. We have no idea what's going on. Listen, it's never one thing. They like him enough. Right. They like him enough. They said about RFK. Everyone goes with RFK.

They go like, how does this old fucking toad who talks like this get a girl and i'm like i'm like well also remember very wealthy very very the cool the coolest parties and you you dine with the president and the celebrity and and the life is exciting who came out and he's gonna die and he's gonna he's gonna die and then you can do whatever you want with that cash unless he doesn't leave it to you and then How did that come out that him that woman were even like having a thing? Did she expose she didn't cuz she got slayin she she I think the paper found out told her Yeah, maybe I'm sure someone had the fire right and told her and I'm pretty sure she came for released

But now he's apparently they say allegedly he's suing her because she was like trying to make it more sexual oh my god imagine suing someone for trying to make something more sexual and then i mean that's a tough thing to prove can i can i say and this is like this is so like especially with kamala they they go they go hey she once fucked this guy who was in a position of power sure they say you know they use that and they say she wouldn't be anywhere without sex. And I think there's something so, so much where I'm like, I'm like, so what? Right. So what a woman might, or a man,

but if a woman used sex as one of the many tools in the long line of life to be a part of something, first of all, it's not that one-sided. It's not just, I fucked this guy to get this thing. thing it could have also made it genuinely sexually attractive that that was on the table like that could have then created a genuine sexual environment that was fun it's just to think to think that sex is not does not play a role in life is pollyanna ish in a stupid fucking way like like and then obviously you you see the problems with it you see you see hollywood and there are all these things you go well clearly that's a problem where you forced a participator.

If you don't want to participate, totally different. Isn't one of the dimensions of the world is, is to say, well, like, well, you know,

it's unfair. The guys going to the all guys golf course and making the business meetings there. What are you talking about? Right. Well, so this person can't go to that, but maybe they can have their meeting.

They're fucking each other. I don't, but the, the idea that, that like like the the to me it's it's such a a patriarchy thing to be like well that nullifies any accomplishment of sex was in the mix it's like fuck off there was this your long way of saying you support diddy oh god that's been shaking the meme at my core oh it's crazy it's great i said there was a comedian there's a comedian, Christian Durano had a joke about Kim Kardashian. And he was like, everyone's like,

Oh, she only got what she got because of the sex tape. And he was like, but I've watched a million sex tapes and I've never been like, I wonder what her sister's up to. And it's like, he was like, she made you interested in her family.

Like that's Italian. And I, Italian. I thought that was a good point too. Cause it's like, there's so many. Isn't that, isn't that the female plight in general? Just like, fuck me, but I'd like you to be interested in my family. And she nailed that. Like, it's like, there's so many people that have made, or when people talk about Chelsea Handler,

I remember I've heard people saying like, she's, you know, slept with lots of people and it's like, okay, but maybe tons of people did. And then she still had to deliver. Totally, yeah. Like imagine there's plenty of people that did it and then she kept coming back from nowhere. I always think about too with the advice from people like be yourself. And it's like, well, you only hear that from people who them being themselves, it worked out.

But there's a million people who they were themselves. Don't hear from them. Like Sasha Gray. Do you remember Sasha Gray? Yes. She was like themselves. Yeah. But I think about. Don't hear from them. Like Sasha Gray. Do you remember Sasha Gray? Yes. She was like a porn star. I forgot about her. And like a hardcore.

Right. I think a lot of people might have forgotten about her. But she was like a hardcore porn star. But like hardcore. Right. And then she. Forget it, man. I mean like.

She was hardcore? Yeah. But I mean, I mean, just like, just. Yeah. And like. All the stuff stuff I haven't watched any of her stuff but like even like Mia Khalifa I don't think she like she was doing like Sasha Gray was doing like intense bondage and vomiting and all

sorts of stuff and then became an actor and was in Entourage and had like a full career and I'm like the talent listen I'm sure a lot of porn stars wish they could enter mainstream media absolutely the talent and the navigation of how because once you do porn once you show yourself naked once you start yourself having an orgasm on film you're you got to be real smart to somehow like get back into mainstream absolutely get onto a show like

that's that's talent i wonder what happened to her. She's got a lot of money. Yeah. I mean, I think the challenge with that job is there's just like at a certain point you get older. Right. And then people just stop tuning in. Right. I never tune in for like porn stars.

I always like amateur porn. So I haven't watched any. I wouldn't watch anything for porn stars. What's your balance? I can go back in worlds. I like an amateur now and then. wouldn't watch anything. What's your, I can go back in worlds, but I, I like an amateur now and then, but I also think that, um,

I don't, I don't follow a certain person cause I, there's something to me. Hmm. Doesn't feel as special. You know, it feels like I don't want to know. I don't want to like follow a,

like a, like an artist. Does that make sense? I want to like, occasionally I'll find myself going back to someone. Um, but even a pro, uh,

even a pro, I totally go through weight. Like I totally like, I could be like, you fall in love. 2000, 2014, the year of Tory Lane,

that like Tory Lane just did it for me then. And every once in a while, I see. Yeah. Oh yeah. Uh, we plug up. Oh,

what was this? I thought you're pulling up Tory Lane. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. We plug up. Oh, what was this? I thought you're pulling up Tory Lane. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Please. You don't need that. Sasha Gray. What does it say?

This is why she decided to leave the porn industry. But she also hasn't popped up in acting either. But then some porn star like Nina Hartley is someone like she was like she was doing porn

at the beginning and then became, you know, Milf and then G Mil beginning and then became uh you know milf and then g milf and then does like instruction g milf was grandma milf what's a g milf grandma milf yeah oh i don't watch any of that i i watch because i always watch amateur stuff i'll watch lots of ones with like older guys i'll watch older women too but i wouldn't i'd watch something with grandma but i haven't but i don't like when it's labeled milf it doesn't like even if it isn't barely legal no no i just don't like that i it's the because it's usually in the

context of someone in the fast stepson or something like that you know and i don't like that i do like that takes me out i like i like that yeah i like that yeah if i'm watching a porn i want to know how they're related no i know that that's big for you. No, I completely agree. Cause I like taboo and I like desire. So it's like anything they have to like overcome to then like raw sexual energy be together.

But I'll like, I'll, I'll follow some couples. Like there's a couple, both my girlfriend and I like, because they're just, they seem really into each other. Like I really,

I want someone that I really believe wants to get fucked. And then someone fucks them. That's like, so if it's a, if it's a, not an amateur porn, I'm don't, i'm not buying it and you're you're more like you won't want to really not want to be doing this i get that too i get that too i'll go through phases with that you just want no one that wants to be maybe that's why you're having erection problems you're directing porn when no one wants to do it. His porn hub search is no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God.

Let me just look at that. Oh, Sasha Gray. Yeah. I found I don't have a thing, though. I feel like I'll just go to Pornhub and then you just kind of click around for a little bit. I always do. I don't have like a thing in my head that I click always. Not really, no. You see what it serves that I always do.

I go to the home thing and then sometimes you'll go, sometimes you'll go, yeah, the algorithm. And then sometimes you'll be like, what's happening way back there. And you click some pages, you know,

it can't be good. What is no one looking at? Find a porn video with one view. It was you once before doing it. I've never done that. That would be honestly a good search, a new porn site where it's like we – We found the stuff. The people that have between zero and ten views.

Right. Neat, really. Not even niche stuff, but just like unfollowed. Wouldn't it be cool – Really boring. I've said this before, but you see these porn videos and they say more videos than all our stand-up videos combined. And you go, my God, this has uh eight million views all these things wouldn't it be cool if there was a way you put on your phone and you sit down next to someone and it just said like

hey you guys watch the same porn i would love that because i've never like truly even even as like as a as a guy and occasionally when guys like are alone we'll talk about port a little but it's very rare that we're like hey you watch that new one i know yeah you're right we never because it's so it's such an erotic thing to share porn so like that would be hard to not then also make if you don't want that erotic energy you know what i mean yeah yeah but i also get being like hey if you like dirty talk or you like this or that then you might like this porn but it's like also very unlikely that you'd be showing them something that they wouldn't. I feel like it'd have to be really niche

or really dark or just something where you would think that they wouldn't be finding it on their own. Do you know what I mean? Can I tell you the movie idea that we all thought of when we were on Shrooms? Yeah, please. Oh my God. And was it just the two of you? No, no. Two of the guys. No, not for this particular movie idea, no.

No, two of their friends. The idea was. Not for this particular movie idea, no. No, two other friends. So the idea was... You're going to give out the idea for free. Okay. Is that good? You're worried about it? What if it's the idea she pitched the agent that one time? Oh, my God.

I wouldn't even remember. So it's about four guys doing shrooms at a house. Nice, nice. And for some reason... In Joshua Tree. In Joshua Tree. Secluded. Really nice. For some reason, and this Tree. In Joshua Tree. Really nice.

For some reason, and this is probably the biggest plot hole we have. Comedy or horror film? A little both. A little both. Okay. For some reason, Sydney Sweeney owns the place that we Airbnb. Okay. She comes in and she goes, hey, I'm going to go in that bedroom.

I'm going to fuck one of you. And you guys have to decide who's it going to be. And it's about four guys. Debating. All debating why it should be them. It's kind of funny. Now, why she has decided this. Why is she a landlord?

Or maybe it's a really feminist movie somehow. And we all end up killing each other. Like we all end up killing each other. And it's a way to finally take care of, you know, get rid of the men. Yeah, that's just offered to have sex and then they're all gonna die. And it starts like it starts funny and jokey.

And then like, it just gets more serious. I'm like, hey, don't shove me. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a drug fueled kind of like yeah we all kill each other and she cuts to her and she's smiling

I've seen worse I've seen worse movies you know if we could pitch that one day to Sidney Sweeney let me see what Sidney Sweeney looks like if you don't mind is that someone that I'm bad with names is this someone that you guys have a crush on? Is this someone that you...

I don't know. Emma. I know the name. I know the name. What do you mean you don't know? That's like saying you don't know what Marilyn Monroe looks like at the time of Marilyn Monroe. That's Sydney Sweeney? Yeah.

Oh, wow. Yeah. She looks great. What was she in? She was in... She's in Euphoria. Emma, are you out of the world? What are you talking about? I haven't seen Euphoria. She was in White Lotus. She's in. What was she in? She was in Euphoria. She was in White Lotus.

She's in movies now too. My girlfriend watched White Lotus. I didn't get into it. Yeah, she's cute. She's one of the biggest movie stars in the world right now. Not familiar. You can use her. Here's how big she is. You think those breasts are real? You could use her as a punchline. And everyone would know.

They are real. Oh yeah. Those are real. You could use her as a punchline. They are. You could use her as a punchline and everyone would know. They are real. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right? Those are huge. Russell said it. Been there, done that. Russell knows more about Sidney Sweeney's breasts than you do about the skin injections that you've been getting. Fair. They look

that's hard to tell if it's real. I've been with quite a few people with fake breasts. For those to be real and her to be that slim body build, but they do kind of look real too. I mean, wow. Good for her. Actually, they do look real. You're right. Unless you had a really good person.

Unless boobs were like incredibly fake, I do not think I'd be able to tell the difference. You would. incredibly fake i do not think i'd be able to tell the difference you would i because you feel like when you touch it and if you if you really if or if they're into like having you like hit them at all you feel there's like a buoyancy i didn't know my mom had fake boobs but you didn't but you weren't hitting them were you you feel like there's like a even the ones that are like really they're all well to every boob it's like even if you, even if you're really, you'll feel like a, you'll feel the implant. My little sister, my mom told me that

my little sister has a regular sized breast. Sure. And she, I guess at some point when she was younger, she was like, oh, well,

they're going to grow in like moms. Right. And my mom had to be like, oh, sweetheart. Oh, but they're not. This is not our genetics. Oh, your mom had fake boobs

the whole time? I don't know if, later, like a post-fourth child thing. She talked to me. She said like there was some like general, there was some like after the fourth pregnancy, once you decide no more kids, you do like an upgrade. It was like the trend or whatever. And it wasn't while you were breastfeeding?

No, no, no, no. Oh, that could be a funny thing to write about because there had to be something going on. my dad the movie he wants me to write and this is all you give me he said he's called my wife's boob job and it's because he's i know he's paid for a lot of fake yes oh my wow at least at least at least two x's that come to mind but what happens in the movie yeah yeah it's mean, he left me a voicemail once. I still have it. I could play it once on Patreon.

Those are expensive. Well, how much are they? I think they're like 30 grand. A good boob job? Like for two. For two. That explains why you were so late with my voice lesson payments. I think they're really expensive.

Anywhere from 10 at the most inexpensive to 30, I believe. Wow. I'm pretty sure. I mean. What does it say? Oh, 4,000. Really? The average breast lift.

Breast lift. Because something like, I think it's like 20. I think they're really expensive. I mean, if it makes you feel more power to you, if you're, you know, whatever. I would say I've always been into sometimes people do lose sensation in their nipple if they get a boob job but if it makes them feel better then I think that the more

comfortable with your body you feel the more sex stuff to lose that sensation yeah because then people might want to you know suck on them and then you go like it's not doing anything it's like sucking my thumb you can feel it if you're doing that to someone and they're like not it's like you're like, it's not doing anything. It's like, it's not my thumb. You can feel it if you're doing that to someone and they're like not, it's like, you're like,

okay, well, then what the fuck? So it's like, it feels performative. I was very high and I was with a woman and someone said, okay, that's enough with the boob. I feel like I've had that too, actually. You're just like. I got deja vu when you said that. And you're like, time is weird when you're high.

Sometimes too, so you're like, how long were you at that tip? I just, man, oh man. Yeah, it's hard to bounce back from that. That's enough with the poop. Or you feel someone like move your head in a way where it's not like they're, it's like they're just like done with it. Yeah, like move along. Yeah.

Move along. All right, all right, all right. It's tough. The nipple, because people, the sensation in the nipple can vary so drastically. Yeah. Someone can be very sensitive.ipple can vary so drastically. Yeah. Someone can be very sensitive. Someone can, you know. Yeah.

Let's go to our next segment. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Something that needs to go away, come to an end, is annoying you. Russell, do you have anything? Go first. You have that Lady Gaga one, too.

Oh, yeah. What was that? I took a screenshot of it. Oh, yeah. Uh, uh, oh yes. Okay. So this was my, my, this has got to stop. Uh, Oh, let me just pull up the screenshot. I thought I had it. Oh, no, it's in our texts. Okay. Keep talking. Okay. Um, well, okay. So I'll set it up. Um, uh, so sometimes there's this thing with Lady Gaga where she'll be like, you know, there was a Facebook. You want to read it? Yeah, go ahead.

I had a boyfriend who told me I'd never succeed. Never be nominated for a Grammy. Never have a hit and hoped I'd fail. I said to him, someday when we're not together, you won't be able to order a cup of coffee at the fucking deli without hearing or seeing me okay number one we don't know if she said this we don't know if he we don't know if he said this we don't know we don't know we don't even know if she said it right it's in the photograph that's true that's true there's a degree where i'm like if if your boyfriend no one says out of the blue you'll never be nominated for a grammy may i may i offer that he said hey um uh can you remember to flush after you take a shit listen i'm trying to win a grammy over here i'm gonna win a

grammy over here okay well you're not gonna win a grammy today grammy a lot yeah if your boyfriend said in any realm you're never gonna win a gram and it's like it's like my and then also like there's this famous thing that she had a facebook group that was like, you're never going to be famous in college. And I was like, if you have that many people that her detractors made, yeah. The people were like, Stephanie, what's her real name? Stephanie. And they were like, you're never going to be famous. But I'm like, but like, and people will use it as like a, she proved them wrong.

And I'm like, if there's that many people in your life that are like so against you being famous you must have been so fucking annoying and terrible to be around because listen no one has ever said to my face russell daniels you're never gonna be a professional actor no one would ever say that right like like there's no reason to say that to me and i'm annoying i mean it would be like can you imagine like the things you'd have to be doing for for people to form a group probably be like god damn i want to say to her fans i'm like if you had known her when she was not famous and and apparently singing defying gravity during lunch every day you would not have

liked her right so well they might have but you know no no not all these people they're enjoying her in a context that it sounds like maybe she's pushing yes there's a new context of like when someone's famous then it's like oh well they could have been kind of crazy or pushy or or hard to work with or like all those things once you become famous all those things are okay yeah right i i will stand i'm a fan i think one one of the greats yes one of the greats you wouldn't have been in the face i think the number of no but i might have been right right but guess what sometimes the really great people are fucking annoying could have been imagine you imagine it's like your uber driver and they like won't let you get out of the car until you say like you sign something like i think you're gonna make it and then you feel so annoyed because of that

and they pushed it on you then you get out and you go they're never gonna fucking make it like that would get you jazzed up yeah lady gaga has done enough art already in her career and made enough cool decisions that if we found out she was the fucking biggest monster in the world right the talent the talent is of the level that i go that's fine that is that is a question though then there could be something where you go there that's so unforgivable you could tell me that she that her forehead was made out of a dead baby skin that she killed i would for and i'd say i'd say uh i would say poker face that performance of poker face at the grammys you could tell me the blood that was used at that poker face performance where I would say Poker Face that performance of Poker Face at the Grammys

you could tell me the blood that was used at that Poker Face performance paparazzi I mean the blood in her paparazzi where she's like just blood and you said those are all babies no it was a great performance though yeah she's got my pass

I'm not as big a fan but like I understand. She's incredible. She's a great artist. I think in terms of like – I mean I keep – for some reasons the press people suddenly turn this on. But people were saying that she was trans. And she said she made it a point to never go out of the way to be like, I'm not trans. And I'm like, that's good.

Right move. That's the right move. Totally. Classy. She made so many right moves in the face of a big cultural movement that she gets a pass from me for almost anything. She's got a lot of credit. She's built up a lot of goodwill.

Yeah. Now, if she sang Define Gravity while I was eating my lunch, I'd go, okay. Yeah. Yeah. The babies was one thing. You're never going to make it. I'm going to make that Facebook group. You're never going to make it.

You're never going to make it. My this has got to stop. We'll do this video that we've programmed since I always forget to. So this is from The Tonight Show. Oh, my God. I saw this clip. Now, who's this? Oh, man.

This is, that's. Is this Demi Lovato? Is it? That's Demi Lovato. Is it really? That's Demi Lovato. Wait, wait. One of the common things that I found, which was really interesting, was this thread of,

this common thread of disassociation. You know, fame is a privilege, but it's also traumatic to people who... Well, anybody. It can be traumatic to anybody, but specifically minors. And I think that it was interesting talking to the participants of the film because I noticed that there were chunks of memories that...

or chunks of times that we all don't remember and I think that's a direct response to trauma. Yeah and what's after that can be done or is being done right now? First she doesn't necessarily seem okay actually she seems to be having a tough time. Yeah but that wasn't the point To me To me That's so

That so succinctly captures The problem That I have with like All the late night talk shows Was that for real or was that superimposed on No that was for real No way No way And this is my problem with it where i go there's

there's not no more perfect example of you want your comedy cake right you want to eat it too you want to be a silly funny thing and get all the goody all the goody points of you you bring up an emotional thing. That's heinous. Literally, now you have egg on your face. Right. Is he getting backlash for that? Quite literally.

No, because he was doing a silly bit and then he had an interview. But it's like, yeah. Take the stuff off when she starts talking about it. Something. As she brings up trauma, he's like, oh. But it's just, I think why why the trauma talk on the tonight show it's the new movie they're doing it's a part of the movie i know it's it's i know it's the thing but but but it's it's it just something is is wrong with late night entertainment

right now and i just think like that captures the true mix of i get that i don't think it i don't think it's like you can't talk about things like that on that thing but i think it's the way it is now because you used to see like sometimes you'll see like a clip from the 70s and it'll be like a 15 minute clip where there's a wild interview and you're like this is going all the they don't care what they're saying like it's like a wild, actually great interview, but you have more context for things and it's, it's, it's, you know, it's more interesting now. It's like, okay, we're going to have to talk and plug this thing. We're going to have to play a silly game and we're going to also fit in your own like little

thing. So it, it, the format doesn't provide for a real interesting conversation where, where that kind of thing could come out. He's dressed up. So he shouldn't have been asking any questions about, you know what I mean? Like it's just, that's not the time. Can I say my cynical

thought about just that movie itself? You know, have you seen the trailer? I haven't seen the trailer. I know what you're talking about. It's a movie about child stars and, you know, in the vein of Quiet on Set. Documentary. I did see that, yeah.

Where there's this degree of, okay, the shitty thought is I go like, oh, you got to live my dreams as a child. I was just wondering if you were thinking that. Like, you still got cast. And I go, you have fucked up too. Right. And no one wants to see. No, no, no no no i don't resent anyone it's more just i think it's the like oh not only do you get the money to support the trauma but like the way that our world is built up hollywood capitalism the stories that are being told the most

are the people who have the money and have the resources and have the power. And again, I'm not against Demi doing their movie. I'm not against it. But there is just something in me, the cynical part that goes, you know what, the kid who was molested by the McDonald's manager, they

don't get a movie made about them. But this might make them feel less alone. Really? Maybe. They go, oh my God. They go, it wasn't just me. Sure. Also, there is that movie Compliance, which is the movie about the crazy movie. Is it literally about a McDonald's manager?

I haven't heard about that. Oh, well, it's a crazy story. Sorry, not to derail your thing, but basically a person. But I hear you. It's like a 20 year old movie that. But I hear you. Well, no, but this is a real story. You know, it's kind of a psychological. It's like.

Psychological. Yeah. There's like, this person was called like McDonald's and other things and would accuse one of the employees, like say that they are a police officer and they would make the managers like, like search their employee. They said they would, and it would be like, but it was fake.

It was all fake and it would make them strip search people. And so it was like, they weren't there. You know, you know, the, the famous experiment with the electrical shocks and they say like, uh,

turn it higher, turn it higher. And, and they're screaming. And like, it's just about, it's like, how did people become not? How could they? Yeah. Uh, anyways, they yeah uh anyways here's the the second cynical thought i have with it is

is they always go like there's a problem in hollywood and it needs to be addressed and i think i go no one's addressing it we're all you you know why they're not addressing it because you all want your fucking kids in the movies and you want nickelodeon to keep pumping out the shows and you're not dealing with the financial disparities and you're not dealing with the tv industry so it ends up just being it ends up just being a poor it becomes a poor you fest which which at a certain point with celebrities i go sometimes i go okay well how much how much how much more love do you want from the world again this is not specific to to demi but but but i go we are not changing hollywood no one's changing it no one's made any difference nickelodeon is still paying their kids

jack shit they're still overworking the unions aren't good every once in a while they get one person that we've all deemed as like bad bad enough but like all the people around them they have to be proven to have already been so bad so it's not like they're like I see what you mean about they're not changing they're not saying and this is what we're doing to move forward to make sure these people don't have access to kids and it's the same thing with

the kind of Epstein or Diddy where it becomes like a centralized focal point that it becomes more about the drama and like the palace intrigue of it all and then nothing ever is actually dealt with so i am unmoved by by people's uh shock at like some of the things because i go well you don't really you don't really care about fixing the system or the deeper things that allow for this to happen you're what you're actually excited about is the palace

of oh my god and so and so did was they there and were they there and nothing will change and and there's more of them out there there it's not like like there's there's this idea that like diddy was like like well that's the cancer of it all it's like no the cancer is the whole goddamn body when you try to make it seem like it's one figurehead or person like when my girl my or someone were my say my mom back i hate trump and i'm like but you know it's he doesn't exist alone like it's like there's not if you take that person out like there's a whole ideology that they are just representing yeah so i could see what i see what you mean about that what could we do what should they do i i don't know okay but something i i don't i don't have like i don't have it's just like i just think the to watch jimmy like put on his like

to put on his and also it's this it's oh wow i am i am but and i go like you're you're not feeling it right you're not feeling it you got cake your face. Because here's what a human being does. I feel like such an idiot having cake on my face. Right, while you're telling me this. While you're telling me this. Yes. To not get a towel. Right. To me is, in your mind, you're like, I guess.

I mean, it's crazy. That's crazy. That's a crazy clip. It's crazy. I'm surprised she didn't come out and say. If I was alone and I had cake on my face and you told me some traumatic story, I'd get a paper towel and wipe it away. Yeah. I'm so sorry.

Do you want some cake? I mean, I feel like there is an awareness. It's all around weird. I feel like if I was telling you something, I would also be like, you have cake on your face. I realize this is a very strange. We're on the. This is a very strange, we're on the, this is a very strange. There's such, there's such a denial of,

of what's going on in the room in that scene. Totally. All the audience, everyone. The deepest sincerity you could. And something about it, it all rings so hollow and fake to me. And what is funny is the camera person. That is so funny though. They held it long enough.

And then just like that cut is so good. I'm sure there was a P at the side but like Yeah. And I'm sure one day they ran on and Hey, but we love The Tonight Show. We're big fans. Big fans. Man, I've burned it all.

Emma, do you have this gotta stop? Okay. My gotta stop is. This is? Okay. My got to stop is – This has got to stop. This has got to stop is I don't like it when people – if you meet someone and they say we've met before and they say it in a really harsh way. I hate that. Oh, yes. Because I've had that before too where I've met someone and then they don't remember and then I don't – I hate it when someone does this snap. Like, well, we've met before actually.

I really don't like that. Just yes and it, go with it. I used to hate when people stretched at weird times, but I've become one of those people. Because I wrote down people that stretch at weird times. That's me, baby. You know what I mean? Where someone just starts doing it on the subway.

But I don't hate that anymore. So that is not one that I hate. What do you mean? You stopped hating it from the time you wrote this down? No, I was writing it out because it was something I thought of that i really didn't like but then i was like be honest with yourself you do that too i hate when people so don't say i do it too you gotta as you get older sometimes you get a little crick oh yeah and the ankle gotta get it out i hate when people don't say thank you or acknowledge you in any way when you open to hold the door for them or something okay yeah

even a grunt is fine or if you make weird eye contact with someone, if I make weird eye contact with someone at the gym, I go, say we're about to walk into each other. I go, Oh, I don't like it. If they don't keeping it neutral is fine. But if I've had people go like, and make a weird face, no, no, no. You were about to fucking walk into me and I just tried to make it pleasant. I don't like that. Yeah.

I agree. Yeah. I agree too. Those are good. Um, let's go into our final segment. You better count your blessing. You better count your blessing. One thing has now changed from that episode so long ago, and it is our music, Douglas Goodheart.

Douglas Goodheart. Wait, Paige, Paige did send me. So Paige, our producer, Paige Asachika, sends me. We now do a thing now where she sends me like, you know, a little thing about you, some fun facts. But she also said, so you were on May 11th, 2021. And here was one of the New York Times headlines from that day. Israel and Hamas agreed to end a brief war that reverberated worldwide. U.S. looks to rebuild Gaza, but aid could hinge on Hamas's rocket arsenal. So it was still, and Paul Mooney died.

Paul Mooney died. The comedian. So I was going to say better times, but all times are bad. Yeah. Wow. Do you have a blessing? Yeah. I guess

it was so nice going to the show and getting dinner with you. It's been a while since we got to like do like a dinner and not like a work thing, I feel like. You know, or not like a show thing or. It's so weird, dude. I mean, it's just like I went to dinner and it was like I had a story

I wanted to tell and then you're like're like oh I should save it for the podcast but then you let Jamarco be a human being right but then you didn't really tell me the full thing I know because I had it in my head and I'm like oh I'm going to save this for the Aparna episode oh okay you wanted to get your real reaction okay wow wow wow but we got to

get to have dinner we went and saw a show we saw Big Gay Jamboree it's so much fun some friends from Titanic three guests of the pod are in the show Marla Connie and Natalie Walker

Natalie Walker's been on Theater Adult so people on the feed they know her from that but we should get her for the podcast for sure I just didn't want to like overcrowd but yeah she'd be great so go see Big Gay Jamboree yes it's great it's either off Broadway or hopefully Moose to Broadway it's very very good very funny

it's great so good and Alex Moffat's in it yes yeah it's great cast is it a musical yeah it's musical it's like it's like a meta it's real musical but even if you don't like musicals It like comments on it in a way that you can also hate on musicals too

It's very very funny It's fun, it's gay It's got niche jokes for New Yorkers too But it's also you could bring a family member to it Good dancing, good singing Just fun And you guys went out to dinner, that's nice Yeah it was nice

I want Russell to let his wife on the podcast, but Russell doesn't like it when she speaks too much, I guess. No, it's just like, it's just like too many. I don't want to like, it's too many things. You like to keep some things to yourself. I get that idea. Yeah.

So let's see. I had a good college gig. Oh, that's great. Listeners on – so I did – I had a good college gig. Oh, that's great. Listeners on the pod will know that I had a bad one. Yeah. And this one, like, it got me back in. I feel okay. The bad one, it was mostly freshman orientation, so they were mostly freshman.

The worst show of my life was a college freshman orientation. The worst show – University of South Carolina, upstate, freshman orientation, four in the afternoon south carolina upstate freshman orientation four in the afternoon while the popcorn machines are going off they had me and a magician each doing hours it's two hours two hours and i tried you know normally whatever the time is okay fine but i i was like you know do you want me how would you feel about 45 minutes and i was like if i when i get them then i'll bring up the magician and they're like two hours. It was the worst. There's something about orientation.

The kids are so uncomfortable. They don't want to be doing it. And it's not cool to laugh. It's not cool to laugh. No, no, no. And like, it's weird. Honestly, I had a thought because, listen, a lot of these college shows,

they want to talk about sex at some point. They want some sex jokes. But as I'm talking to these freshmen, I'm like, some of you guys haven't fucked. They're scared. And also, sometimes I'll be saying, and I'm like, is this allowed? Totally. Yeah, you're a full adult.

You're like, some of them might be 17, and you're like, let me tell you about sex, kids. What are we doing? Yeah, what is going on? So this one I started right out the gate. I did a round of applause. I was a freshman. Round of applause.

You're a sophomore, junior, senior. And I was like, oh, that's why I should. I need to know that. It's good to know. Yes. And it was just like great crowd. They opened it up to outsiders, too. It wasn't that many, but enough.

Sure. And just University of Colorado, Boulder. Everyone was great. They let me sell merch. People bought merch. I lowered all the prices because these college kids. But it was just like fun. They wanted pictures and they wanted to do their weird,

you know, their.5 pictures or whatever the fuck. And it's like some weird pose. And one of them wanted Fusion from Dragon Ball Z. And I was like, it's fun. I felt good. It felt like a real show. We were like, this was a college show, but also it can be like productive and fun too.

Yeah. That's a fun – that's when college shows are great. When I go to that college show, I really do feel that I'm like, you're a 36-year-old man. I know. You're a 36-year-old man. You're an adult to these people. More than an adult. I don't mind it except the freshman orientation.

Like I'll go in and be like, okay, these are just kids. Like you're just going to like bounce around. Like I'll usually, I'll do more crowd work at a college show than any. For sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. But something about freshman orientation makes them feel so dramatically younger. Yeah.

It was so bad, dude. The worst, truly the worst, worst shows ever have been freshman orientations. I've done a few of them, but, and I'll probably do one again. Brutal. You got one more in you. The other blessing is the money. I know. I'm doing a NACA.

I haven't done one in years. I've never gotten into a NACA. I did a Zoom NACA, but I never got in. Oh, over the pandemic. I never. I did them, and then I submitted,

and I didn't get in for years, and then I stopped submitting, and then I was this year. So I'm going to do one one which is gonna be interesting sure it feels a little weird i mean you're showcasing for college kids yeah like a cafeteria after doing the africa i'm always just so skeptical you you have to pay a lot of money you get in but after like the comedians who got booked it was like some guy did some terrible sketch comedy character but then he put up on the screen it was a list of all the impressions he could character, but then he put up on the screen. It was a list of all the impressions he could do.

And you go up to him after the show and you go, The Rock. And he goes with a selfie, makes a story like, can you smell what University of Colorado is cooking? And it's like, I'm like, he's every college and I'm getting three. And the person, they're just one time I remember doing a NACA and people were running by me. And I was like, what? And then this person i had become friends with that was a college agent she came over she's like hey i wanted to find you like don't feel bad like you can't compete with and i was like with what and they were she was like you don't know about dan cakes and i was like no she's like they make they make a face of the kids in the pancake and she's like kids and i was like

are you kidding me so on the last day i went i I stood in line to see Dan Cakes and I get up and it was like the best piece of art I've ever seen. And I was like, oh, he's good. Yeah. But he literally just makes your face on a pancake. People lose their fucking mind. Dan Cakes. The kids are running by.

Like, I remember feeling pretty good about it. And then like, wait wait wait wait no i'm gonna get in line for dan cakes that was the last time you try to compete so this one you go back and you you i i i don't you you you make a sandwich something something like during the crowd work and you're like you look like lettuce right anything and then do it maybe i i it's it's on it's in uh it's at the end of October. I'm going to do that in Aca. Dan Cakes.

I'm going to look him up. Dan Cakes. Honestly, it was so funny. As you said, I'm like, I want to see my face. I know. He's talented. He's talented. He moves quick.

And he tastes good. Gotta. Do you have a blessing? Okay. My blessing is I'm so grateful that I have all my teeth because I was thinking about that since the last time i was on and i'm grateful that i know that i can't predict the future because i used to always like so tightly try to control like what's going to happen and when's it going to happen and then i get frustrated but if there's one thing i learned about not

having that tooth you can't predict how and when it's going to go and i'm grateful that i can go with the flow better now yeah sure but i. But I'm grateful for my teeth. Well, I'm not there yet. So you guys, I'm predicting that you're all going to subscribe to the Spotify. You got to subscribe to this. Oh, so easy to do. I'll do it right now. It's so easy.

It's so easy. A movement of a thumb. We're all scrolling anyway. Yeah. I'm subscribed to Emma's podcast, which doesn't even exist anymore. I'm subscribed to it. I appreciate that. Yeah.

Let's go on to Spotify. Spotify will put the link in the things. Join the Patreon if you can. You get two bonus Patreon episodes. We just released, oh, I guess it'll be

further back now, but footage from our live tour. We're going to give you, I think we might do a live Zoom just one time. Oh, yeah. That's a great idea.

That's a great idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Wait, would we see the people? We could. Okay. Boom. There, I just did it. See, I did it and I wasn would we see the people? We could. Okay. Boom. There, I just did it.

See, I did it. And I wasn't even, not even with two hands. Thank you. Thank you. What do you want to plug? Again, this is coming up October 22nd. All my tour dates, I'm going to start touring again in the spring, will be at www.iamemmawillman.com. And I was most recently in the movie Ezra with Bobby Cannavale, which you should be able to get. Oh, wow.

He was awesome. That guy's a good actor. He's great. Talk about attractive in person. He's gorgeous in person. I forget how much acting you've, do you like it? I love, I love acting and I've been taking a lot of acting classes that, so that makes me appreciate it more. But I was like very, very, very hyper conscious of the fact that I hadn't taken – once I like started doing it more, like that I hadn't taken acting classes.

Can I tell you what I realized with the stand-up is like I act in my stand-up in a certain kind of way. And I think I'm like, oh, I like to be able to act and comment on it at the same time. Totally. I think sometimes I'm so ADD. It's so much more – I think it's more empowering. Or I'm so ADD or I'm so like neurotic or I'm so like, this is bullshit, that when I'm trying to act,

I'm always fighting this voice. Totally. That's like, you're lying, you're lying. What is this? You're trying, I'm trying to feel, I want to feel so bad and you're not. And then when I do it on stage, I'm like, I'm acting and I am acting,

but I'm also like, I get to then turn and it's something about that. I'm like, oh, this is the kind of acting i like it's so much more fun and it's for oh i like i agree with that and you have like the real time like adrenaline even though there's adrenaline when you're on set with people it's just it's different like it's like everyone's it's like don't screw this up make a real don't screw it up and make a real moment it's like those are two very intense things versus like entertain me which is intense too but more fun yeah what what acting technique uh what what school i've been doing the borough group and then i've been just i was always taking audition classes and then i was like i have to take classes that where it's like try to like learn how to like i mean i've done the ones where it's

like you practice like moving your phone and just like be very aware of i've done those ones i mean those are hard at a certain point because you're like, well, I got to go to set tomorrow and like yell at Bobby. I got to learn these lines. So forget the phone thing. Forget the looking at the fourth wall and the clock is there every time. Totally. He made it easy though because he's such a good actor. So then it's like just responding to him.

Yeah. I've only got a couple lines in it, but that was my experience. What was one of your lines? Give us a taste. This woman came over and, uh, we're all pretending to flirt. And I said,

and then she leaves and I go, Oh, if she was just even a little gay. And then a bunch of guys, you guys got to see it. Where does it go next? How do the guys respond? Um,

respectfully, respectfully. What would you like to plug? Oh, end of October. Uh, follow me, uh,

at Russell J. Daniels on Instagram. And I don't remember exactly when the uncle function show is in November, but it's in New York for New York comedy fest. And I will plug the exact date in the future. You know, uh, we're going to do this at the end of every episode.

I know. And I keep forgetting to look up that date and don't worry it's gonna get by the next time at home like i i want to go so badly i'm sure it'll be i'll have links in my instagram so just you know um okay i will be in raleigh north carolina this uh well not this weekend this week it's my anniversary no work congrats thank you uh four years wait in october that's my i'm my i've been with my girlfriend four years too weekend's my anniversary. No work. Congrats. Thank you. Four years. Wait, in October? That's great.

I've been with my girlfriend four years, too. It's my longest relationship. Yeah? Four years. Good for you. Thank you. That's exciting. Thank you.

It's a good thing to celebrate, too. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to do Raleigh, North Carolina the weekend after. This is November 1st through the 3rd. Bloomington, Indiana. Indianapolis And then DC baby

Let's sell this out Let's add some shows DC November 21st, 22nd, and 23rd Stay safe Please Do not Take any

Medical advice From this podcast. Seriously. This is The Downside. One, two, three. Downside. Downside. You're listening to The Downside.

The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.