The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #241 Baby Wipes with Morgan Jay

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Morgan Jay joins to share the downsides of getting a vasectomy, having an Argentinian pop star dad, losing to Gianmarco in a COVID-era Zoom comedy competition, bombing at a New Years Eve gig, and why shaming people for showing videos at a party has gotta stop. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Morgan on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Livestream with Morgan on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/morganjay See Morgan in a city near you: https://morganjay.com/ Special thanks to our friends at Spotify for letting us record in their beautiful studios! Listen to/watch The Downside on Spotify, and follow us there for all the latest! https://open.spotify.com/show/3UbITi7D5ELEIng9YfWyTV?si=114548ceffc440f9 Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Red One... We're coming at you. ...is the movie event of the holiday season. Santa Claus has been kidnapped? You're gonna help us find him. You can't trust this guy. He's on the list. Is that Naughty Lister? Naughty Lister?

Dwayne Johnson. We got snowmen! Chris Evans. I might just go back to the car. Let's save Christmas. I'm not gonna say that. Say it. Alright.

Let's save Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters November 15th. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi. I think my manager wants me to hire a publicist, but I'm just not going to do it. Why? Why? Thank you. Get a publicist, but I'm just not going to do it. Why?

Why? Thank you. Get a publicist. It just doesn't matter anymore. I think a lot of these things don't matter anymore. What are you talking about? Listen, some of it, you're right. The podcast circuit, certainly.

But you want to get on the cover of GQ, show them your workout routine on the road? No. As a matter of fact, I was watching the Emmys, and somebody won an award who I was actually their RA at NYU. Oh, yeah? And I was literally playing video games on Twitch. I was streaming, and I had the Emmys on the side. Yeah.

And I was just thinking, he's winning an Emmy, and I'm like, you're playing fucking video games. You went to college in your grade, Alana Glazer-Chan early in Cape Verlant? And Miles Teller and Ismael Cordoba-Cruz is on the – and Chloe Fineman, the year below me. I mean like the two to three years surrounding my year is absolutely astounding. Well, none of them were available today. So welcome to the downside.

Morgan J., how are you doing? Am I okay in your monitor? You're great great we'll change it will affect it and I'm also where I were and Spotify Studios in LA so we got our producer Paige Asachika here on the mic Morgan will will we'll get to you in a second yeah I was at my mom my mom was here and And usually she didn't show me In the past she said a cut off of what pictures she shows us And it's the nose job No pictures pre-nose job

For a while It was like, especially online She was like, do not post pictures pre-nose job But I think something broke I think that's inspiring To show that Yeah, and she showed me and they were badass she had pictures of her uh smoking a bong she had pictures she was like cool she was she went to

studio 54 when she was like 16 yeah yeah and did all sorts of stuff yeah yeah because they lived in new york they were they were in a great neck yeah my parents are in white plains now yeah yeah do you think your mom was was she a party animal? I don't know. She told me one story that I'd rather not repeat on here, but I don't think she was that much. Did she tell you a story as a cautionary tale or like a look how cool your mom is? No, because I was asking her questions and obviously like, you know, it's actually kind of rare. It's actually kind of shocking how little we know about our parents. You know, looking at these pictures, yeah, you go, you had a whole fucking life.

Yeah, we have no idea because they've been alive. It's just really shocking what we don't know. And there's this moment where we don't know. There's only certain times. Think of the things that we do. If your mom, let's say you found out your mom, because if we ever have kids, they could go. I won't. I just had a vasectomy.

You did? Yeah, two or three oh my god talk to me about it um how how so okay what do they do is it just is it like a one thing that they're cutting i was awake um they they put some iodine you got to shave the day before you got but they put some iodine on it full shave uh full shave which i already be shaving my balls like that so Yeah, just the balls. Well, I don't shave like this area that much. No, I meant the surgery. Where does it go in? Into the balls or is this the ball? Guys, Spotify video, check it out.

No, so it's like, right, there's two parts, like one side on this ball, one side on this ball, and then they grab your vas deferen, which is where the semen comes out of. Wait, is there one in each ball? There's one on each side, yeah, because you have they grab your vas deferen which is where the semen comes out of and then is there one in each ball there's one on each side yeah because you have two balls there's two yeah there's two vas deferen thank you is it inside the ball or around where's the fast i've never heard of this so if this is the ball there's like and then and this is the penis

so you have a ball here ball here okay there's like a there's like a little thing that comes out and goes and then comes out and goes. And then he's like, you're not going to really feel pain, but you're going to feel like a tug. And then afterwards, you'll feel like a bit of soreness. It's not like when you cut yourself and it's like a paper cut. It's like, have you ever had somebody gently graze your balls and you're like, uh. Yeah, yeah. So for the next day, you kind of so for the next day you kind of feel like that all day whoa how long does the surgery take about 40 minutes 20 to 40 minutes

and are you like lying back on the table i literally was lying back playing poker on my phone the whole time oh my god like this i was playing poker because i was i was nervous about it and i just didn't want to think about it. And I just played poker the whole time. And he talked me through it. I even asked him, I said, what if you had a bad night of sleep last night? Like, do you ever think about it? Was it where he cut off the whole shaft?

I just was asking him, I'm like, sometimes I think about these doctors that got like C's and D's, and like, they just made it. No, I don't think they let people graduate if they get really low. Yeah, I don't think there's any. There's D-doc for me, maybe.

You have to be in the top 80% or 70% of your- Oh, really? Yeah. So the other ones become podiatrists. Yeah. Sure. Or chiropractors. Chiropractors.

Do you believe in that? No. No. No. Okay. No. I think it's so bad because my girlfriend really wants it. I don't know if I believe it in either.

I mean, I'll crack my own. I'll do a little crack, but I don't know if i believe it in either i mean i i'll crack my own i'll do a little crack but i'm sure certain things feel good if you can take that out of context to say i'm gonna do a little crack i just said i'll do a little crack yeah sure we'll use it if if yeah even if i had a ball surgery and they said i'm also okay if they were uh what what's the ball surgeon called what's that kind is that a urologist urologist. Urologist. Urologist. Penis. Yeah. So they don't split the penis and the balls into different professions. Penis, balls.

Yeah, I think the penis and the balls are the same. Sure. I mean, OBGYN doesn't split the ovaries and the vagina. But are there doctors that are like multi-hyphenate? They're like... Like actors at performances? Urologist. i'm a writer actor i'm sure in la i'm a urologist uh uh ent yeah and model yeah and dj who plays the trumpet

i met one of those that's why i always bring it up what made you make that decision you're a lot wait you can reverse it right yeah he he was really candid about he was like yeah and just say you know like you know obviously the longer you wait to reverse it, the harder is reverse it. But if you really want to have kids, we'll just go right to the source and just take some right at your balls. Whoa. I mean, people do IVF all the time.

They'll take it out, you know, but, but is the thing repairable as well? It is, but that is a much more involved process, but I'm reconnecting a fucking tube. Yeah.

But I'm 37 now. And if, and my partner is, she's 34 and we've talked about it at length and um i try you know i travel a lot and on the road i you know i get into shenanigans and sure and uh you know this year i had something that popped up that really put the like the fear of god in me oh god and not to get into too many specifics but i think we got it we got a degree of specificity how how how scared were

you freaked out oh yeah yeah it was very uh yeah it was very wild uh-huh uh-huh yeah i wonder if that's most of the stories of the people that of the guys that come into that office no he said you're well he was like you're well below the age of what i normally deal with yeah well my stepdad got it eventually it was weird because they told us and i think my only thought siblings i have half siblings i'm sorry half siblings but it was it was uh my ex stepdad now technically speaking but when i remember hearing it that he was getting it i thought oh all you're really telling me is you want to blow loads in my mom like is that like that's that's what i took away from it and i said that's okay i don't need to know i think in my situation it's more of like a peace of mind thing if anything were to arise because

i'm realizing now i'm not to toot my own horn but i've entered a certain you know channing tatum follows me i mean i mean like you know yeah you want to be you want to be able to come on channing without too much trouble yeah no but you do a lot of stuff. You know Nick Cannon. I mean, you know. Is that a cautionary? I mean, he was my boss for a little bit. Sure. I don't know.

I had a joke about how if Nick Cannon uses a condom with you, it has to be a little bit offensive. Yeah. You have to be like, what's that about? Sure. How many kids does he have now? 12, 11 or 12. Whoa. you have to be like what's that about sure how many kids does he have now 12 11 or 12 whoa

but that's not I mean Eddie Murphy has 12 I think and there's a lot of people who have the Duggards have 20

really once you get to a certain point though it feels like you're going like this is how I feel about Elon Musk like there's an urge

of like I think he's making he wants an army there's a vision of I'm gonna have how many kids we don't know we don't know there always seems to be a new one popping up he's making he wants an army there's a vision of how many kids we don't know we don't know

there's always seems to be a new one popping up he's got he's got kids he's got former kids who don't want to speak to him anymore but but yeah there was there's been some unknown kids that have popped up i think he claims yes yeah yes he does but he's not getting his balls he'd be mad do you think a lot of people who say they have autism have autism? You could be honest with me. I haven't thought about the exact question. I feel like people often say people have autism more than they actually haven't. I think there is an epidemic of people self-diagnosing and taking these tests and doing deep dive analytics on every part of their being. And then somehow, this wasn't going to be my thing

that this has to stop, but like- Well, you can have multiple ones. That's just so we make sure we have one. I think all categories are, you're trying to come up with a delineation and everything's a spectrum. Yeah.

And so there is an attempt to people that have maybe something of a slightly, I could say I have OCD, or I don't. There is a line. I have some obsessive thoughts. I do check the stove sometimes. My therapist said I have mild OCD. What the fuck does she know?

I mean, it's loose. These are soft sciences. Yeah. I mean, when I started going to therapy... I don't go to therapy anymore, but when I went to therapy for a little bit, I finally accepted that I had anxiety. I didn't know what anxiety was.

Tell me why you think, because I knew I had anxiety. I didn't know what anxiety was. Tell me why you think. Because I knew I had anxiety from the beginning. So let's talk about your childhood. Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, my dad died. What kind of kid were you? I'll give you the cliff notes. My dad died when I was six.

My mom worked three jobs, single mom. My stepdad has Parkinson's. Let me ask about your dad. Do you have a lot of memories? Not many. Yeah. Just a couple. Now, he was an Argentinian pop star.

Yeah, he was born in Sicily, grew up in Argentina. And yeah, he was a pop star in Argentina. Then he moved to New York and became a chef. Do you... Okay. And died when I was six. He was 20 years older than my mother. 20 years older than...

So he died... How old was he when he died? 56, 57 56, that's still young You got a problem with that internet? That my dad was 20 years You think We want to talk about it? Sure, go for it

I mean He's already been cancelled I know, literally You know, somebody I mean Can I tell you something? So my father was born in 1936 This is sure gonna There's gonna be a soundbite here And somebody's gonna do a deep dive at some point Yeah father was born in 1936 this is sure gonna there's gonna be a sound

bite here and somebody's gonna do a deep dive at some point yeah he's born in 1936 he was born in sicily his and then at the year at 12 years old in 1940 something he moved to argentina oh you're saying i'm wondering if my grandparents were like fascists well let me tell you i i had another episode there's a picture of my great-grandpa posing with mussolini interesting and and i put it out there and some people said hey everyone was posing with mussolini you know it would it would be like i i listen i don't know about history to make this claim but it would be like you know everyone has a picture of George Bush. And then if America fell, we'd be like, that was a monstrous war criminal.

And we actually have. We all had R. Kelly on a playlist for a wedding at some point. I don't like that with the P. Diddy thing. Everyone goes. I'm like, he had a lot of parties with a lot of people. Everyone. You've been to parties with people who are now registered sex offenders. It's just no one took a picture of you.

No one took a picture. Nobody cares. So I'm sure some people were doing some best with P. Diddy. But just no one took a picture of you. No one took a picture. Nobody cares. So, I'm sure some people were doing some bad stuff with P. Diddy, but not everyone who took a picture.

It's not fair. It's not fair to say, oh, you took a picture. He was on fucking everything. He was on the Chris Gethard show. P. Diddy got around. Yeah, he was on an episode for some reason.

He really did do a lot. He really did do a lot. Guy was just enjoying life, you know? It's one of those things. I'm going to take these off. Is that okay? Yeah, do whatever you need.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as you guys can hear me, I hope I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah. You're probably a year away from being invited to the P. Diddy, what's it called? The White Party? The White Party. Things are getting kooky.

You look like you're dressed like you're getting ready. You're halfway to head to the P. Did White Party. I'm excited. I'm excited what the future holds. Someone should take that mantle. Someone's got to start hosting them again. I used to host Sunday Funday brunch days here. I'd have these very good big Sunday Funday brunch day parties. What do you mean? At your house? In my place, yeah. Like 60, 70 people

we just hang out and have talk shit and have snacks and then we'd get the baby oil out and we would uh you know do something nefarious some sort of you had one side who had the vasectomies one side who didn't he wanted to be on the night um okay so your your father he moved where did he meet your mom in america in america in new york so he had what made him leave his pop stardom to become a chef i i you know i think you just can't be like that for your whole life.

Really? How long was he doing that for? It's probably a small period of time. These are things I would like to know. I don't know the answers. What kind of music? Because I was pulling up a song on the way here. It was like surfer rock type of in Spanish music.

Like Beach Boys? Type of stuff, yeah. Uh-huh yeah good good singer like how much have you listened how much have you i digitized about 30 of his songs i put him on soundcloud um cardo he went by ricardo rora was he was he very was very sexual in his presentation he was a handsome guy yeah he as all my photos but he was uh he my brother looks more like him than i do how's your brother older younger yeah i'm the youngest and i'm the least attractive one

okay sure what do what do well how many older siblings do you have two two yeah um yeah so sos there's no service here great uh never mind how much do you remember did your dad sing around the house can i just say something real quick am i i i'm so i'm so nervous why are you nervous about being no no i'm not like nervous but i'm i'm worried that i'm a bad in general a bad podcast guest because i have done several podcasts with people who have not put the i did a podcast with i heard this whitney cummings whitney cummings zach noe towers i did a podcast with dumb I heard this Whitney Cummings. Whitney Cummings, Zach Noe Towers. I did a podcast with Dumbfounded, who, with another person, we ended up redoing the podcast.

And I'm worried that I'm just not... I don't really bring... I don't bring the sound bites. I'll bring it. I'll bring it. I'll get it out of you. Okay, I'm worried. Let me tell you something, Morgan.

We are releasing this episode. 100%. You have a guarantee that we're not fucking up our schedule with any not releasing of episodes. I don't want to happen. Even if it ended now, we'd still be releasing it. That's all they'd be getting for the week. Okay. Fair enough.

We've never not released an episode. There was one or two. There were one or two that I felt pained that i had to release because they were rough yeah we got it i did adam carolla's show and i and i remember that's when i had a publicist and i did it and i and i didn't know what i was really what really what i was walking into and it was pretty interesting sure i don't want to i don't want to do those because i'm gonna have to be so combative depending on what they say but then i asked the publicist i was like do you think it would have been a good idea for me to like really argue with

this man about certain things just depends it's it's like it's it's being able to not fall into like like like if i was it went on joe rogan which is not in i probably wouldn't i probably wouldn't i would yeah i get it i would i get it but like I don't want Joe Rogan to go oh so you believe in trans rights what about this school two years ago where a trans woman

hit a volleyball and the little girls had exploded what do you think about that and I'd be like well I don't know the specifics of that and it's like

not falling into the trap it's a nuanced conversation Renan Hirschberg has such a good bit about global warming where it's like he argues with someone who has false information but he doesn't have any information really he doesn't know the facts and he goes he

goes like fake information is more powerful than no information i know you're wrong but i can't argue with it and it's such a good articulation of the trap you can fall into because because a sensible like a real like a real smart person realizes they actually don't know anything absolutely or they just they just go back there there was recently there's a viral clip it was A real smart person realizes they actually don't know anything. Absolutely. Or they just go back. Recently, there was a viral clip. It was a person who wrote a book that kind of spoke about Israel being apartheid, just the different levels. And this morning show host was being like, well, are you saying Israel doesn't have a right to exist? They bring it back to that framing.

And he was saying, I think it's wrong to separate people in this system. And it's like, it's knowing those debate tactics, which I don't. That's not my bag. So I don't want to go on Piers Morgan unless I'm ready to take a debate class. Yeah, no, I never screwed that. And remember those, ad absurdum, all those little Latin phrases. Yeah, yeah. So you're going to be great. We're great. Okay, okay. We're going great so far. Good, all those little Latin phrases. So you're going to be great.

We're great. We're going great so far. Good, good, good, good. But I want to know what it's like to have a dad with this kind of legacy. Yeah, so I started playing piano. I mean, these are the memories I have of him. He used to sing La Bamba on the guitar to me. And he also sang the Barney I Love You song to me. And he also worked in a restaurant so when I got

home from kindergarten he would be there to pick me up at the bus station for the most part before work so you have all really fond memories do you ever talk to your brothers about do you ever feel like your, it's two brothers? two brothers yeah

do you ever feel like they got so much more of him do you ever ask our family is really interesting I have a really segmented kind of broken up family Do you ever feel like they got so much more of him? Do you ever ask? Our family is really interesting. I have a really segmented, kind of broken up family because my oldest brother is a half brother. And so my dad is not his dad. Oh, your dad married your mom. She already had a kid. Yeah.

So my mom had my brother at like 17 or 18 in brazil in brazil and then she came here and he stayed there for so his upbringing was a little bit he stayed there for a little bit until she could bring him over okay and then she she had my brother my brother i was about to say names but i don't know if that matters but she had my brother um and then he and my dad died when my brother was like 10 which is arguably a very like one of the toughest times to go through either divorce or a death of a parent or something like that sure is that what people say is that like that is what people say yeah 9 to 11 is like this very you're like you're you're you're conscious enough to know what's going on like

i'm five or six so i'm still a little bit like plastic and malleable and i can handle this a little bit better you know yeah so for me it's like i don't even really know what like there's like a sense of there's like a there's a hole or whatever but i don't it's not as deep like i don't even know what to miss really because i never got to do you remember at that that age being depressed or grieving or was it like i remember um there was the this is what i remember honestly it was the first time i rode in a limousine to because it was at a few we went to a funeral yeah that is i remember that is crazy that's the first limit my first limousine was like prom yeah it was a joyous experience yeah first time in a limousine um and then i remember

like shortly after that my mom sat us all down in the living room and was like, you know, things are going to be really tough. I need you guys to be good boys and big boys and be able to handle this. Was your oldest brother there at this point? At this point? Yeah, I believe so. Yeah. I think he was just about to finish.

I'm six. He's about 13 years older than me. Yeah, he was about to finish high school. I think he was about to go i'm six he's about 13 years older than me yeah he he's he's about to finish high school i think he was about to go to college jesus christ and so and then yeah and it was it was it surprising or did you know was your father ill for so long that it was yeah i had colon cancer and uh from what i understand he had it and then he beat it and then it came back because he was a big like red meat smoking drinking gambling alpha cigars or cigarettes or both cigars yeah cigarettes alcohol like

alpha male argentinian type of guy and but cecilia i mean italian and argentina but he just moved there he's both he's both he's both okay you know he grew up most of his life in argentina sure sure and then from what i understand big gambling gambling situation, I think from what I understand is once he got the diagnosis again that he had, I think it was like four months to live. I could be wrong about this, Mom. If you see this, you can correct me on all this later. But once he got the diagnosis that he had like four months to live, I think he ended up living four years or something like that. Yeah. But he just was like, if this ship ship is gonna go down we're gonna we're

gonna burn this ship to the ground you know so he gambled a lot he drank a lot and just like not not in a way that was like i i don't think any of us have at least with he just was like you know how most european or south american people are they drink and they have a good time like when i was growing up by the way i don't have much of a south american stereotype but you're painting it full. It'll be my new stereotype every time I meet a South American. But if you go to a party in South America or in Europe, they eat later. Kids are kind of like an afterthought in the sense that if the kids pass out on the sofa while we're having drinks and we're partying, they're going to just fall asleep on the sofa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like we got to put the kids to bed. It's like, no, they're just going to stay up also until they fall asleep. Sure. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. It sounds And so we got to put the kids to bed. It's like, no, they're just going to stay up also until they fall asleep. Sure. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It sounds fun. It sounds better. I remember I was at a restaurant with an ex-girlfriend in West Hollywood.

And it was like we were having a late, it was like 9 or 10. And these Italian people were out. And their kids were just falling asleep on the, it was like almost 10 o'clock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And the kids, it was like a three-year-old, a five-year-old. That's nice. It feels so much more organic. That's how I feel. It feels, keep the kids around. Let the kids get to knowclock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? And like the kids, it was like a three-year-old, a five-year-old. That's nice. It feels so much more organic.

It feels like, it feels, keep the kids around. Let the kids get to know adults. Yeah. I agree with that. I personally think that's, you know,

although then again, I'm not going to have, I don't plan on having kids. Sure. Sure. We'll see. You never know. You feel dead set?

Huh? You feel dead set? No, no, no. I don't feel dead set but but I have four nephews that's what I don't have

you don't have any oh a nephew or a niece god I'm I haven't died for one I don't even think I'm a good uncle have you

molested them no you're doing a pretty good job but I don't always get you seem like the cool uncle yeah

can I tell you something I'm sure you go home with your autotune and go like, what's your name? My brother told me that his two kids, of all the things that I've achieved, and of all the things that they think a famous person is, the fact that I have a silver YouTube plaque. My brother was like, if you bring that to New Jersey and show that to them, they will absolutely lose their fucking shit. What makes you think you're not a good uncle?

You're just not there enough. I'm not there a lot. I don't really like sending a lot of gifts. But they have most of everything they need. You do one good gift a year? You do one video game system a year? But these kids, they don't give a shit. They only play Roblox.

Nothing impresses them. What do you mean? Kids don't want things. Nothing impresses them. What do you mean? Kids don't want things. Nothing impresses them. You get them the new system. Or you'll be able to get Ariana Grande saying hi or whatever they're into. Honestly, you know what they want? They just want their uncle to spend time with them while they're watching them play video games.

Literally. Well, you can't give them that. Can't give them that. You're busy. I'm busy. Selling out theaters. So your dad, that was his restaurant? Was it his restaurant that he had

no no he was just working there it was in it was on like 28th between 9th I don't think it's there anymore but

yeah he was a chef there he was known as the singing chef he was written up in the New York Times and everything that's so cool so he would cook you a meal

and he would come out and then he would sing with his guitar he sang for like a bunch of celebrities Robert De Niro Al Pacino, Anthony Quinn. I have a guitar that's all like autographed

by all these different people from him. Can you play any of his songs? Do you ever learn? No, I haven't. I should though. Do you think your mom would be moved by it or would it be? My mom would, she's been wanting me to write

and sing normal songs since I started this. Oh yeah? Yeah. Wait, so where did you learn how to play guitar, piano? It just came to me one night. Actually. Really? No.

I took like two months of guitar lesson, and then I did piano for about 10 years. Sorry, I thought that was going to be funnier, but it wasn't. It was just so believable. It was a good acting choice. Thank you. So what did your mom do for work? She worked in the coat room when she met my dad

and then after that after he passed away she worked at a restaurant for a little bit did he leave a number in his coat? did she put the number in there? my mom was new to America and I don't know she worked the coat room

he was the chef and I don't know do She worked the co-runner. He was the chef. Yeah. And I don't know. Do you think your dad was like, he was like a ladies' man? 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. 100%.

So what did your mom do for work after that? Oh, yeah. Caretaker, cleaned houses, worked at a restaurant. Was there a real shift in your lifestyle after your dad passed away no i i think i just saw my mom a little probably a little bit less and she just had to work a shit ton more and she was probably under a lot more duress yeah yeah having to raise three kids on her own you know yeah until she met my stepdad and so when she was when she was uh was the stepdad who's still your stepdad yeah yeah yeah uh was that the first guy she brought in your life as a parental figure yeah was it so that's another thing right like

yeah he's more my father than my father is of course so my relationship with him my brother's relationship with him my other brother like we all have different relationships with each other sure um i mean even now i started relearning portuguese like and i'm speaking portuguese with my mom now and she's a completely different person in another language how so she's like more affectionate she's more warm when he's really oh yeah she calls me dear and sweet that's wild and i i think there is something to that i don't know if it's it's because the language is warmer or anything. Like, are your parents, do they speak another language? No, they just speak English.

Okay, so you're like second-gen American? Fourth. Fourth, okay. My parents speak Japanese. Well, like, I mean, yeah, I don't know if it just has something to do with that, but, like, it's her native tongue. Yeah, so, like, we're just getting to know. There's, native tongue and um yeah so like we're just getting to know there's like parts of these people that we don't know like especially with my father

and my brother probably knows things about him that i don't or has a different experience with him than i do did you remember when he first came into your life did you like him right away was he yeah it was i mean i had no point of reference to be honest with you sure but it's a whole new it's a whole new it's a father figure you know's a whole new, it's a father figure. You know, my stepdad was definitely a different, brought a different energy to the house. He won us over with money, I think. He was a lawyer. He bought us a lot of things and took us out.

Oh, yeah? Did a lot of cool shit with us. You see what I'm talking about, the uncle thing? That's all it is. Yeah. I mean, it's very easy to, you can't do it forever, but like, you can win a kid's affection with gifts. They're stupid that's why you say don't go in the truck with the candy because they go he must be nice he has candy my whole

life is a lie what kind of gifts are we talking you remember paintball guns oh paintball guns bikes yeah yeah just like you know stuff you know was your brother cool with it too or was he a little wiser he said hey fucking paint gun, this is nothing to you lawyer. I don't know. My brother has a whole different, I don't want to speak on my brother's experiences because it's just different for them. No, it's so different.

I mean, in a way, I understand he's your full brother, but like I have half siblings and we have very different, my stepdad is their dad. We have very different relationships to that man. I mean, even my oldest brother like he doesn't have any relationship with his father you know sure so not at all not at all yeah uh-huh so

again like the three boys in this family are carrying such different experiences with them yeah it's it's pretty i think that's a that's Yeah. I feel like that pitch, it's brothers who are just so different, who just have such... Because I saw... Because I think more men need roles in Hollywood. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you're going to fix it. You go ahead. You fix Hollywood with not making a TV show. Can I tell... Yeah, I don't know. Like, going back to what you were saying,

like, there's just certain things I just don't care about. I used to care so much about certain things in this industry. I get that. Sorry to change that. No, no. I get that where like – I always say to people who are struggling, I think having to sell tickets and have the full experience of like I sold that ticket.

And this money comes from a portion of that. And if I go somewhere and only 12 tickets sell, no one else can fix that but me. Gives you an autonomy. It gives you a real understanding. It also makes you go like, well, yeah, well, I didn't get this. I don't go, why did I not book the Wilbur for a weekend? It's like because there wouldn't be people in the seats enough. Yeah, 100%. And like,

until you do that, I mean, the original, the whole system of acting, which is where I started, where all my friends started, was like, you know, a cast director gave it to you

and it was granted and suddenly you're on a big show and everyone watched you and we know it from I got 10 and then I got 20 and then I got 50. Yeah.

I had a guy I was playing Fortnite with on my Twitch stream. Uh-huh. This is like a fan. He was like, you know, you got to do this fear, bro. I bet you could do this fear. He's like, you can do this fear, bro. He's like 19 and has no point of reference.

He's like, you're super popular. You got like 5 million followers, dude. You could do this fear. But like- How many seats is this fear? I don't know, but I can't sell this fear. It's like- But do is the sphere i don't know but i can't sell the sphere it's like but do you have i don't have fantasies i imagine i really don't maybe you could say i'm full of shit my fantasies are not like sold out madison square garden my

fantasies are always about i made great comedy i made like a genius bit or something. 100%. And I'll do it for 100 people or whatever. But I... 1,000% agree with you. I was happy last year when I was averaging 60 to 200 tickets on an off night. Yeah. I was happy last year. So when I did the water bottle tour here in LA, I was signing with all the big agencies.

Sure, sure, sure. I kind of just was like, hey, I'm pretty happy right now. I didn't know that's what they called it, the water bottle tour. I didn't know either. That's what they said. Because the minute you walk in, they're like, can I sure. I kind of just was like, hey, I'm pretty happy right now. I didn't know that's what they called it, the water bottle. I didn't know either, but that's what they said because the minute you walk in, they're like, can I get you a bottle of water?

Really? Yeah. I went to one meeting with someone I didn't sign with and it was one of these things, you walk in, there's a big U-shaped table, 15 people,

and they all got a big booklet with my face on the cover. Because you were at WME with me? Yeah, yeah. Remember we talked right before you were deciding to sign. That's right. And I was like, I said Kat and Tommy. They are really good.

Was I wrong? No, you were not wrong. Was I wrong? Did I make a real wreck? You were absolutely correct. Shout out Kat and Tommy. Shout out Kat and Tommy. Don't sleep.

They don't sleep. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, don't I know. And they better never go to sleep. You know, I want the person I can text at 10. They don't have to get back at 10. No.

But it's got to be okay that I sent that text. Yeah, no, they're fantastic. But, you know, to go back, like, I, at a certain point, you know, the dream, I used to want to be on SNL or be the host of, like, The Tonight Show. But then I even, I worked there. I interned at these places at where? SNL?

at Late Night with Conan O'Brien was that fun? I yeah it was super cool that feels like more the fun one some of the others sometimes they sound

pretty bad I was there right at the changeover from Conan to Fallon and oh my god you were there for that? you know this?

this is where Conan got the tonight show and then they took it away from him yeah well so so yeah so it was 2009 oh my god tell me about it i was an intern at conan and then conan stopped and went to do the tonight show in february and then i they fallon absorbed the conan interns oh wow So I didn't go to the Tonight Show. Oh, I see. Okay, so... So I just stayed in New York and did... Fallon took over the second slot. Essentially, yeah.

I just stayed at late night. Okay, got it, got it, got it. And I found that to be super cool, especially with the monologue, for example. They would bring all the interns into the audience for the monologue to see if they would laugh at jokes, and they would use us sometimes, too. That's a lot of pressure. That's a group that I don't trust is going to tell me the truth but we're all fans we're everybody there is a fucking fan i'm sure most part you know um but it was that was a fun show and do you remember so you did this just for jimmy

or with conan too both of them i mean by the way with jimmy i mean that dude is might be one of the most talented people i've ever met just say whatever ever met I don't know whatever people say about him you know what people say about him tell me your thoughts seeing it live because I understand listen I don't like the late night format especially now because I go these people don't even have a second to self reflect

or build or find their vibe they just and especially now with the Trump era they just got like fucking squeezed every day, and they just had to basically talk about Donald Trump for 15 minutes a monologue, for more, and more,

and more, and then comes back, and you had to speak on it. You had to go and be like, that's not good. And that's not funny. But you saw, I understand when you,

I remember I saw The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and we all know what Tonight Show with Jay Leno. And we all know what people say about Jay Leno from time to time. And I've also heard great things too as a stand-up. But I remember he came out before the taping and he was in his jeans and a t-shirt. He's like, hey guys, we're going to get stoned here in a little bit. Here's how it's going to work. And I remember I was like, I felt the charisma there. Did you go live?

I went to a live. This was when I did my showcase in college this was a long time ago like 18 17 yes something like that towards the end of his thing well how old are you uh well i'm i'm 36 oh so i was i was probably it was the end of college so it's probably like 20 or 21 yeah because i'm 37 so yeah yeah and it was i just remember being like oh this is funny the way you're talking to me now and then when you get into the confines of the show, a lot of times it just neuters a person.

That's why I think hosting a show like that would be the end of making great comedy. Yeah, I mean, during the rehearsals, Jimmy was like, Jimmy, I mean,

he's incredible. It was so funny, the stuff he was doing during rehearsals. He was so good. This is when he was still getting drunk too. I'm sure he was a blast.

He was just such a, I mean, he was so nice. What would he, what do you remember? i'm sure he was the blast he was just such an i mean he was so nice what would he what do you what do you remember do you remember i remember i was on the phone in the hallway with my at that time ex-girlfriend and he came in the hall and he was just like hey what's up man what's going on uh-huh hey what's going on dude thanks for being here bro yeah i don't know this yet bro but he was just like really nice and yeah yeah kind of uh sprightly as opposed to letterman where the the word was that you couldn't make eye contact no that's what i was told well but he was on that show listen in in defense i first of all when you put it like that yeah it's kind of crazy yeah i do i do understand that there's a degree where it's like hey he can't have chats he's running from place

to place with place and eventually that evolved or it evolves into it keeps happening and it keeps happening and then eventually before you know it the con the rule is no eye contact i see how i can see how ellen probably got to where she got i can see where i think the part that that you only know if you're a performer and this is not to excuse problem deeply problematic or hitting someone with a car but but you you're under this demand where you suddenly have to then put on a show and sometimes you need a little bit of space to do that and people don't always respect that space like i i did i did a tv it was not a tv thing it was a very high budget web series where i was supposed to be visiting the wall in Jerusalem because my father had died, and I was crying

over it. And I remember, I'm not a great actor. I don't know why I laughed at that. No, no, it's fine. And I have to cry. I was trying to cry. And then an extra comes over and goes, wow, you're tall. How tall do you think you are? And it's that moment where you want to go,

can you tell the extras no eye contact? No eye contact with me. It's interesting you say that because I just shot a guest star on a TV show. It's going to be on Apple called Rambler, right? And we're on a golf course and a lot of the extras knew who I was on TikTok.

And between scenes they'd be like, hey man, what's your name, bro? You're the guy, right? You're the buddy, right? Come on, bro. I was at the airport literally coming back

the other day and a guy came up to me. He goes, wait a second, are you a goofy guy? Oh my God. Which I liked. I liked that.

Is that your thing, goofy guy? I have a clip or two where I, I don't have a goofy guy. I wish that was my thing. thing? Goofy guy? I have a clip or two where I deal with a goofy guy. I wish that was my thing. You know what my thing is? What is it? You're the pedophile guy.

You're the pedophile guy. Hang on. You could just say pedophile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's people. It's just that fucking R. Kelly joke. I have yet to have a joke that that breaks past the r kelly joke didn't you have a big holocaust joke that went viral yeah but not

like but like every time someone says every time like someone gets in trouble and goes well it's not pedophilia it's ephibophilia they put that video back up that was so i'm just I'm just, that's me. I'm going to make that merch. Listen, man. I know we're joking, but getting your most popular hits, like putting them on a t-shirt, I'm saying.

Yeah, but then I've had a bit, I've talked about it, a nauseam that's associated with a bit and I have to do the bit for every show and I will never

do that again. I will never have to do a bit and I have to do the bit for every show and I will never do that again. I will never have to do a bit every time. I have to do that. I hate it. Because I do music so I have to sing like if I don't sing certain songs

I'm realizing people get upset. Sure. It's a very interesting experience for me because if I don't do the LOL or the Suspicious as Fuck or

now I have some other ones Would You Be My Dad is kind of a fun one. If I don't do the LOL or the Suspicious as Fuck or now I have some other ones, Would You Be My Dad is kind of a fun one. If I don't do certain songs... Do you ever get annoyed? Well, I mean, like, if I'm doing a full weekend and I did it every night, sometimes I just want to, like, do different songs. And then the one, like, when I was in Australia,

I had three Melbourne shows in a row, right? And then one night I didn't do Suspicious as Fuck and at the very end I'm getting off. They're like, Suspicious as Fuck! Do it! Yeah yeah i'm like you really guys really want to hear that yeah and then but i realized when i start playing it about half the crowd starts clapping they're like excited and and one of the things i noticed as a fan of music because i go to i go to a lot of concerts now which by the way if you're not taking advantage of your agents and having them get your free tickets to concerts you're fucking up first of all that ability is contingent on how

much money you're making the agency fair enough so so yeah i can get all the off off broadway tickets i want for a matinee but i i occasionally do the thing where i go i go hey i don't know if you saw a bill burr and gaffigan they're doing a glengarry glenn ross i'd love to go opening night and they're like yeah we all would love to go opening night and they're like yeah we all would love to go opening night Joe Marco when you do three shows

in Melbourne instead of one maybe we can talk about this yeah I guess you're right I guess you're right but going back to like seeing musicians play when I saw

James Taylor play I saw some other bands play and like if you don't play the hits people are genuinely upset well Louis apparently Louis used to do a thing when he was at the height where he'd do his whole show and then he'd come back bands play and like if you don't play the hits people are genuinely upset well louie apparently

lou used to do a thing when he was at the height where he'd do his whole show and then he'd come back and say what bits you want to see which is pretty crazy as a comedian because you know it's we're still in a weird place where we've definitely shifted there was a time where you burnt material and you never did it again and we're all over that we all got over it it happened so fast yeah it became like it burnt when you published it to now like it's only burnt if every person in the world says it back to you once no truly because i i could do the material from my two old specials and people wouldn't even sure because like when something goes viral 90 of the people who see it are new people i don't know and also it's still even if it goes viral it's still just a

portion of the population the whole population is not on tiktok they're not and they don't know and they don't even they have no they have and especially my audience is like 25 and under when i'm playing fortnight with them you play fortnight with with the fans yeah yeah they love it yeah and and i i was i was playing last night and I asked this person, I said, they're 18 and I go, when's the last time you have watched a comedy special from start to finish? And they go, what? Oh my God.

Don't I know it. Don't I know it. So it's a brave new world we're living in. Going back to the music thing, do you think if you don't play one of your hits then like does it feel like less exciting of a show sometimes because like from my experience like just seeing music um so like for example i've seen bon Iver several times one time he did a totally like avant-garde show where he was just doing like white noise and how how that makes you feel? I didn't love it, honestly.

It was like, it was just, he had some like contemporary dancers on stage doing weird body contortions. And it was like at the Hollywood Bowl. Save that for the cabaret or at the Roosevelt or something. Yeah. It'd be like if I had a standup show and I did music, it's like, what is this?

That's not what you got tickets to. Yeah, that's not what you paid for. But then I saw him at Coachella, which is the place where I thought he wouldn't do the hits, but then he did Skinny Love and Holocene and all of... And that was one of the best shows I've ever seen. Of course. So...

Do you ever... That's a big breath. Do you think you'll ever come back and you'll go, you know what, I just want to do No Auto-Tune and you're going to do the No Auto-Tune tour? Or do you think... I guess it's one of those things where you have such a fan base

and now they have these specific things they want from you. Do you ever have moments of going, oh, fuck, what if I want to do this? No, because now it's just a matter of evolving and making the show as cooperative as possible because the 25 and under really need something experiential.

I'm noticing. Do you feel more... And it's fun for me, by the way. I have a lot of fun at my shows. Do you feel in your heart you're a comedian first? No, not anymore. What do you feel?

I think I'm just like an entertainer. Yeah? Somebody commented on one of my YouTube videos. They're like, what is this even supposed to be? And I was just like, i wish i could tell you oh wait i saw that you got your you started doing so far sounds that's how i started i started with

the music shows like that but like so far is that the that's the horn that the jews that's it is that shofar is that what that is no do you know what i'm talking about it's very it's very good wordplay. No, but it's a real thing. That is a real thing. What is so far? So far is the- The Gentile version? It's the don't tell comedy version of music.

Don't tell comedy basically modeled their whole thing off of so far sounds. Okay, so people just go for a show. It's three artists doing four songs each in an intimate setting. Oh, is that still a thing? It's still a thing, yeah. I would go to that. It's very great. And it's a good date spot.

But you would do your... So I snuck in there as a musician and eventually became a host. And then from there, that's where when I was hosting, I was doing crowd work with the guitar. And then I noticed people were starting to film and people would come to shows from those shows to the comedy shows and be like i thought you were going to do like your crowd work we want to see the crowd work stuff yeah so a lot of the evolution of my act has come from like honestly like giving the audiences what they want sure um you know so with the auto-tune with the guitar stuff now it's like no knowing people can't pay attention if you come to my shows it's like every five to ten minutes something is slightly

different yeah yeah i get that we do that we do some auto-tune stuff we do a guitar song then we do like a sad emotional bo burnham type guitar song then we do some other audience involvement song and some stand-up and we would have any tell me about some you know you deal with the audience that much there's gotta be the occasional one that goes wrong yeah I mean just in

just in Texas the other day like this would you be my dad bit at the end of the show I asked somebody if they're proud of me will you just be sure

would you be my dad and just tell me that you're proud yeah and this guy brought him up he just was like I was like

would you be my dad he goes yeah like okay just I was like, would you be my dad? He goes, yeah. Okay. Just, I was like, wait. When you said that to me, I thought, yeah. And, and then, but, but, but at that point in the song, it's like, there's a clearly established pattern in the song. Yes, yes, yes.

You, you, you, I say the line and then I say another line. Okay. Okay. You don't have to like, you know what I mean? He's like, it's like very established. Yeah. You know, this is the, you know, A, B, A, B, A, B, A, B. It's like, you know, it's like very established yeah you know this is the you know ab ab ab ab it's like you know it's like very clear yeah yeah yeah and then and just tell me that you're proud he goes yeah i gotta need you to say that are you proud of me he goes yeah

uh-huh i go bro in front of like 700 people i just need you to tell me that you're fucking proud of me on stage this is the last thing of the show. Yeah. He goes, yeah, I'm proud of you. All right, great. Get off the stage. It's such a dud. Did you feel the anger? Do you feel an anger ever? And you go, God fucking A, dude.

Because you got to hide it. I think one of the things with comedic is you have to be able to somehow turn the frustration into kind of like, it's a funny frustration. You wise guy. But sometimes you feel it. You do. Your skin is red hot. But I don't really get angry like that at all, ever. Ever?

You don't get angry at all? I get a little frustrated, but I don't raise my voice. I mean, we just got to accept what's going on, man. I don't know. Yeah, I understand. I understand that. But sometimes it's hard to accept. Tell me the time you got booed on New Year's, because I remember I knew you.

I didn't know you from the beginning beginning. We met over a pandemic during a competition. That's how I remember it. It was the March Madness. We were doing the Zoom. That's how I remember you. With the Boston March Madness? Yeah, yeah.

Because you and I were up against each other, and you beat me in the round. And I was like, who the fuck is this Gianmarco guy? What were you doing then? Were you doing guitar? I was doing auto-tune stuff on the- Oh, you were? Yeah. And I won? I think you won the round, yeah. Oh, my God. were you doing then? Were you doing guitar? I was doing auto-tune stuff on the... Oh, you were? Yeah. And I won?

You won the round, yeah. I don't know. Did you win the competition? I don't recall. I didn't even want to do it. No offense. I don't know if Zoom comedy competition should count for much. If that's your credit, you got to get it in.

Clearly, I'm holding on to a lot of things. I don't get angry. Yeah, you're like, I know every place of every Zoom comedy competition I did. Yeah. No, but... I remember I did one Zoom comedy competition where it was like,

it was a big one. The prize was, you know, three grand or five grand. And this was when everyone had been out of work. People were making funds for comedians. Yeah.

And it was like, all these people, I think I got third, but there were like some older like road dogs who had to figure out Zoom that morning. And it was hard. And then they gave it to this fucking eight-year-old who had like a cheese puppet. And it was so – and also like clearly they won.

And there was like a celebrity judge, like one of the former hosts of Whose Line Is It Anyway? Like that's the level. And they gave it to the kid because it was cute. It's Popsicle stick jokes. But they gave it to him. And I just was so mad because I was like, you think that eight-year-old needs $3,000? That 50-year-old was barely selling a show at fucking Bananas Comedy Club. They needed it.

Fuck that kid. Fuck that cheese puppet. It's not good. If you're in a competition, the cute shit doesn't win. Seems like you're holding on to a lot of anger right now. Yeah, I wanted it. I wanted that money. Yeah, yeah.

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Only at Starbucks. Wait, what were we talking about? Your bomb. Your bomb. Oh, yeah. So a couple things about that bomb. First of all, that was a black room. For those of you who don't know, there are things like black rooms and white rooms and mixed rooms.

This isn't like 1960s, but you know what I'm talking about. Of course I know what you're talking about. Some comedians don't know. But it is, some comedians will do a thing. If you hear ever a comedian go in an urban room, what they would say to another comedian is a black room. Yeah, just say black room. It's a black room. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I say. Are there other terms for other races? I don't know what an Asian room would be like. I just don't think there's that many rooms. There's not enough rooms to make a name like in America. There's not enough like rooms that's like, oh, you did the Asian circuit? I think because stand-up comedy is America's like one of their few artistic exports to the rest of the world. Sure. So I think white and black comedy are so...

Because also comedy came around the same time with the Bruce... Lenny... Lenny Bruce. Lenny Bruce. And you had him and then you had Redd Foxx. Well, before that, it was part of the mafia. Is that right?

It was part of the mafia, yeah. Oh, right. I guess it was, yeah. It was just like it was one of those where you joked in the wrong way to the wrong guy. You could get killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slice a smiley face into your skull. I mean, it just goes to show that certain rooms have certain pre-existing conditions that we all kind of adhere to.

We know what's going to kind of happen, right? But if you start bombing in a white room, if you start bombing, it's just going to be quiet. If you start bombing in a white room, if you start bombing, it's going to be quiet. If you start bombing in a black room, there's a chance you will feel booed in a way that you didn't know people... But on the other hand, if they love you, the love from a black room

is like, you never felt more like a rock star in your life. You're shaking hands. You're reaching out for the stage. They're calling you the N-word when you get off stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is real. This happens when you talk at Sundays. Sure.

I have to talk at Sundays. My black friend, I was coming off. He's like, bro, you can say it. You can say it. Because he saw. He's like, bro, black people love you. You can say it. I'm like, I don't think I can say it.

Did he come back to you after this show and say, hey, you can't say it anymore? No, this is after the fact. Yeah. But the thing was, you got to understand, this is the south side of chicago this is new year's eve the lineup is like me uh donnell rollings lunel ti the the ti ti well the point point is cards are stacked against me at this point sure and um it's about it's a 4 000 seat room uh room. If you've ever done a black room, it's like there's a DJ for like 30 minutes. There might even be an R&B performance,

which there was at this show. So it was a DJ for 30 minutes. Then there was a full-on R&B with dancing performance from a local artist. I'm already stressed. I'm already stressed. There was a time when I lived in Harlem and I was doing shows where,

like I did a couple shows with Donnell, but if you were following Donnell, you're like, you just got to bring it you got to go fast not all my jokes are set up to operate like that and less and less so these days but if there's a dj i can win them over right away all i have to do i go up there and i go oh yeah and it's just you dance or you or you're like yeah yeah and then you're like okay okay dance dance for us i think bill burr talked about that where there it is an easy thing if you're a white guy like you can lean into like oh boy what i went to the wrong place i guess yeah i love that he never talks about his wife he never brings up the fact that she's black. Yeah, he did it in Paper Tiger, but in a way that made...

Sense. Yeah, it was about their dynamic. It never was like that one guy. You know that one guy. I mean, he might be your friend. I don't know who you're talking about. White guy who basically only performs in black rooms. He's always like, I'm invited to the cookout like he's like

i gotta tell me after the fact i don't know who he's he's i think i know who he's talking about yeah he's he's like he's like a big comedian but he is uh it's all just like i'm the white guy here oh i guess i'm at the cookout i think i may have worked with this one what i may have worked with him you did yeah oh yeah well i i I'll say that that bomb was tough because- What order? What lineup were you after Donnell? I was right after the host. Right after the host.

So it was D. Ray Davis who I do shows with. Sure. Who I've done shows with a lot. And he brought me on the road. And I had done Mother's Day that year at a 2000 seat venue in Peoria, Illinois, which is also mostly a black crowd and i did great killed it were you doing autotune by then or just the guitar just guitar guitar stuff yeah and then um uh i don't know i the first night on the 30th december 30th

i did 12 minutes my set was fine great people were singing along oh yeah second night i i switched it was new year's eve and i switched something up but also people were like still getting in their seats people were late people were walking in um yeah and uh by minute eight i was doing the excuse me i was doing friend zone and by the end of friends when i'm like crying in the song uh-huh and i guess people thought like i don't know what they thought but one woman woman shouted out, get off the stage. And then by that point, you know, it's like mob mentality. Do you remember that moment? Did you, were you thinking with clarity?

Were you freaking out? I was freaking out a little bit. And I got off the stage after the song. And then I went to my green room. Wait, did you respond? Did you say anything back? I told him to shut up. I told him to shut up. I told everybody to shut up.

In a fun way or like? Shut up. I was like, shut the fuck up. Uh-huh. Shut up. Let me finish this up. Uh-huh. Which I thought would be pretty good, you know?

Yeah, yeah. And how, are we talking? Boo, boo. Yeah, I have a video of it somewhere. I posted it. Oh my God. Because I remember. You sent it to us. I want to see it. I'll send it to you, yeah. boo boo like i have a video of it somewhere i posted it oh my god uh because because i remember you sent it to us i want to see it yeah because as a matter of fact so so i go to the green room

i close the door i go into the bathroom in the green room and i close the door so i just i'm like i'm i was i was pretty shook up because that year i arguably i had a really good year comedically you know like career sure but it's new year's it's a big gig yeah it's a big gig and i went to d-ray's green room and i just was like listen man i'm i'm really sorry you gave me this opportunity and i feel like i fucked up he's like hey man sometimes they gonna boo you yeah sometimes they gonna boo you next time that happens just have some you know some some music some r&b music lined up and just start singing some singing some shit did you do did you feel like in that moment were you like fuck i it's all bad like are are you i would have spiraled i go i suck everything i've ever done sucks and this was the truest reflection

of my work that's where my mind goes excuse me no i i i thought it was i recovered pretty quickly because i wasn't the worst i mean i had bomb early on in my career like year one and at carolines on broadway sure we've all bombed at carolines it was tough because i had never done like carolines bombed at carolines i um no i it was it was a it was like such a poetic period at the end of a sentence of like this year you know of that year because it really was a good year sure it's just like bombing to me it's like i mean i've cracked on stage when i was like a musical theater singer and it's it's the same level of just utter humiliation well i i think the thing is it kind of puts the fear back because i was doing really well and i hadn't had a arguably like rough set in a long time yeah and uh this i hadn't felt this

kind of failure in a very long time you know obviously there's like you you you don't get the part or this joke doesn't land but like to have like a thousand people really just like give you hate you know is is really yeah like uh there's no way not to feel that i don't know i'm not bill burr i'm not i can't fight back i'm not like a i just i'm just like you know yeah and you know that bill burr we talked about there's a set in philadelphia where people started booing he wasn't doing well you got a statue of fake fucking guy and it was like a 10 minutes like he said like i got nine more minutes you fucking losers go fucking kill yourself and it was it was why and they weren't they didn't he didn't like fully win him over he won over some while they booed and they were having fun they loved it they were having fun

but it's not like he was just like like everyone was on his side by the end it was very contentious and he just kept it going i can't do that but but bombing is i i remember uh i worked i opened for a comic a long time ago and i guess he did catch Rising Star and he was like new and Tracy Morgan was on the lineup too and he was like you know just crushing everywhere he went you gotta see Tracy Morgan at the Apollo because he was like doing alt comedy in a space that

would be I mean it's amazing what he did but this guy he bombed Catch Rising Star he was a young comic he went back and his line was that Tracy said to him don't get that bomb on me and that's the added that's the love

it really is and honestly like I don't know what's that's mean for sure but also when someone bombs I struggle I can't make eye contact with them I don't know what to say I know how they're feeling you know Lachlan Patterson had a good – there's two comics that talked about this. He said anytime somebody comes off a stage and they bombed, they know that – hopefully they know they've bombed.

Yes. Because we obviously know comedians who bomb and they're like, what was up with our crowd? Yeah, yeah. You're like – Yeah. Right? You're like, you almost got into a fist fight with the audience. What do you mean what was up with the crowd?

Uh-huh. And then you – so hopefully they recognize that they bombed. But when they come off stage, you could say, how'd that feel? How you feeling? Or you just say good set anyway. Because one comic I met, he was like, listen, it's not about whether they had a good set or not. It's just about being supportive.

Sure. And the thing is, even if you say it was a good set, they're going to... We know comics. Most of the time, they're going to hate themselves and themselves and stew on this bad set for a little while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No matter how good there were of moments, that was a good thing, that was a good thing. But if it wasn't a full murder fest, it's like, yeah. For me, the only compliment that really even touches that dark hole of a heart i have left is a specific

joke that they liked to me that's all that's that's all i care about because if i killed i killed yeah i feel so high i don't need anything else i'm full yeah but if someone says to me a specific joke and the worst is when when you do a lot of new stuff and you do one old line, and someone comes up and goes, I love that joke, and you're like, yeah, the fucking eight-year-old one. Yeah, you like that one.

It's the last time I wrote anything fucking good, I guess. I know. So I'm in the corner taking notes when I'm at John Marco's show, just because I have to think of something that you changed from the last time I saw you. You don't have to do that. Not literally. Mental notes, of course. Sure sure sure i mean tova tova takes literal uh yeah i mean i see i i mean

i've seen you're the comedian i've seen the most obviously for sure it's like but it's interesting to see like the evolution of a joke from like when you started it like three years ago maybe if you're still doing it now then you keep like tweaking stuff tova sees a lot my girlfriend sees a lot and it's i think there's there has been work and more work because i respect her comedically so much it becomes it's kind of like i like i i i thrust upon her the keys to my self-worth after a set and it's just a lot of responsibility so she goes she goes like i didn't i didn't write or she goes like i didn't clock anything or she doesn't have anything to say we've had we've had conversations just about like if i have a bad set i think it's more important that dynamic if i have a bad set and i'm with

my girlfriend i've got it better but the beginning was not good i was just in such a dark yeah place i felt embarrassed to do it in front I felt more embarrassed to bomb in front of her as if she would think I was now bad after seeing me so many other times. Yeah, I understand. Because you think they like you because you're a funny person, right?

Yeah, or I just feel like it's an emperor of no clothes. Oh, you saw that I'm actually not talented. That I've been tricking. That I've really been getting by. Or I'm okay. I'm trying to think of another circumstance for that i mean when people know you as the person on stage and then off stage you're just like not really like i don't i don't think i'm like a funny person off stage really any like at all i use i don't know sure i don't i don't see myself as like a a constantoker, but I'm wry. Yeah.

I'm more, I'm just lower energy. Yeah. But I'm mean offstage. Are you? I have like a mean sense of humor. Yeah. I like, I just like mean comedy. Yeah. Biting.

Mean is one way to put it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could just put it sassy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's mean but gay. I feel like every time we have a call you try to land at least one joke even if it's like five minutes oh sure yeah yeah yeah so you definitely but if you hear me if you hear me talking to like my business manager i've sound like that's different there's

no jokes going on i uh yeah see when i when i'm on stage like at least i mean in general i never try to be malicious about anything. I can't do it. I remember because when I first started doing comedy, my stepdad was in the crowd, and he has Parkinson's, and a comic made a joke about Parkinson's. Now, here's the thing. I don't care that he made a joke about Parkinson's.

It doesn't bother me that anybody makes a joke about these. But I do know how... Because what happened was he this was when he started getting the shakes you know sure and and the and the guy made fun of him made fun of him because he thought he was like drunk or something oh he was directly making he's like directly making a joke this guy he's like he's like drunk he can't even hold the fucking thing but but he just had had parkinson's right that is brutal so but but so like i thought about that and i and i take that with me in all my sets because i don't ever want to be like overtly malicious and alienate people so i i just i don't know i always try to be the i always make fun of i'm happy to make fun of myself first sure

sure um but but also like the overall vibe or intention of my show like i said i'm not like edgy i'm not like i'm not biting or sassy like that. You know? Sure. I know what my, I'm singing songs about fucking and dating. And when I did, when I did,

um, when I did the fringe, this, this comic of Chortle had such a good joke. He had such a good roast of me and his, his, what'd he say? He goes,

thank God somebody has the courage to tackle these topics of dating and relationships. I thought it was so funny. I was like, that's a good joke. I was like, I had to keep that in. I said there was a comedian. I won't name, but I saw their special. Someone asked me, what do you think of their special? And I said, it was amazing.

Did you know dating is hard? Yeah. I get it. But dating is hard. Dating is hard. Dating is it but but dating is hard dating is hard dating is hard dating my best friend was like dude how many more fucking songs can you sing about dating dude jesus christ but well here's the thing i'll say i'll say this is because you're you're in an open relationship you have new gas in the tank yeah like i think there are there are some older this i feel also about like pop stars that keep singing sexy songs when they're 60 or whatever and and it's the same

with like comedians who like there's one i'm thinking of in particular where like they're married they're rich they have kids and their bits are still like you know the first date where a guy just and i'm like you haven't been on a first date in 10 years and if this is topical that means someone else went on that date for you and told you about it and i'm now disconnected from the experience and it's the same way i feel we're like where madonna if and i don't know i haven't listened to any of her new stuff but when an older artist i think some of them are willing to like transition into what they talk about and some are like i'm fucking five times still and i'm like that's that's impossible i mean share i mean shares what if she is though you know i feel like

but they're not describing what that age five times is five times is like and then the doctor came in and gave me more fluids to keep going i understand her audience that listens to her like your audience ages with you. Yeah. So what she's doing, or what these artists are doing, they're trying to appeal to a younger audience, which is kind of impossible. When I saw James Taylor,

you know, he had a joke on stage, which, by the way, musicians, like 100% musicians, when they tell jokes on stage at concerts, they just get such a pass, and that bothers me. What about Vince Staples? I think he's actually really funny actually really well he's actually very funny yeah who have you seen

that you're like well james taylor did a joke where he moved his stool he moved the stool and he goes i've been having a hard time moving my stool uh and the crowd lost loses it because obviously this crowd is like 50 to 80 year olds. Oh my god! James Taylor! He did a joke about shit! What the fuck? You know? And I'm just over there like,

that was a good joke. It's like if one of Southwestern you know... I feel yoga teachers. Yoga teachers get away with murder. And I want to go after and say, just so you know, that was not funny. Yeah. That was not funny at all. I love what you said about, you had that clip,

I think it went viral about like astrology or something. I have a couple of clips about fucking astrology. What with Caleb? Yeah. You were talking about like, don't make me like bring me in. Oh yeah. It's that thing where, where like, I have to now participate in either like lying with you. Or we have to have a combative situation where like, I don't believe in this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that thing where I have to now participate in either lying with you.

Or we have to have a combative situation where like, I don't believe in this. I'm sorry. Yeah. And then you're going to look at me like I'm obnoxious. Brazilians love astrology. Why do you think that is? I don't know. But that's like the first thing.

If you're going on a date with somebody in Brazil, your sign is at the top of the list. It's crazy. like your sign is like at the top of the list it's crazy i believe that one of the theories that i once read because it's it's obviously more associated with with women at least in the huffington post the horoscopes would be in the women's voices section which should be offensive which should be offensive but there was something about it was something about when you live in a world this was the theory again i don't have it proven where you live in a world, this was the theory again, I don't know if it's proven, where you live in a world where you have less autonomy because it's a patriarchal society, because more things are being thrust upon you. You look to outward sources for things that will affect what happens to you. It's the moon will do this or the Venus will do this.

And it's partly because you're not given the same amount of autonomy in an oppressive society. And that's why. That's the theory i it's well that's kind of goes back to what you were saying in the beginning like people self-diagnosing things if we can get if we can get a diagnosis then it's that is the reason why i am the way i am or this these things are happening in my life you hear about astrologists now or they go to their what do you call it if you go to a person is it like a medium or like no the astrology one yeah i'm an astrologist astrologist they make charts for you you hear about it you go you go oh it's therapy yeah and

in my mind i go there has to be a better way of therapy therapy should even if it's a soft science be built on like research and and talking and schooling to some degree i'm sure college is fucked up but like something and when it's astrology it's like i understand you're getting something out of this but it's so loose and so rife with the possibility for abuse and money taking and like being misled why trust this it's a great first date though if you go like a palm reader or some shit like that not with me not with me that's that's the last day they're gonna say, he can't even have fun for a goddamn second. He can't even entertain that someone might like a chiropractor without telling me it actually is very dangerous.

I got my palms read one time on the Venice boardwalk. What did they say? And I think I was probably like 18 at the time. And they look at my palms and they're like, it looks like you don't know who you are like what your path is yet and then i was so offended by that when i was 18 because i thought i knew it all sure she was right but i mean obviously that's a very vague thing to say that's a very vague thing but then at the end she was like also your chakras aren't balanced um like you need to get them balanced and then she tried to sell me on like a 30 dollar chakra

balancing thing afterwards i hate it so that was like you know i hate it that's where i was like okay this isn't real i'm glad my dad my dad raised me to be a skeptic but he would do the thing if you see a psychic and it says like be back in five minutes or out out of out of the office be back in 30 and you go as you should why didn't they predict that i was going to come here that alone to me should go like oh it's all bullshit that's enough that is enough right there why oh if they're psychic why don't they win the lottery that's enough you don't even need more you don't even need to talk about it beyond that obviously let's go to our next segment this has got to stop do you want me to play the music uh no we'll put it here this has got to stop this is something that's got to go away it's fucking shitty big small let me say

this real quick before we go on uh uh this is the downside um uh subscribe on spotify we're here at spotify studios they let us use it and uh subscribe to spotify give us five stars do it uh we have video there now we have video there and you can comment it shows up on the it shows up on there thanks and thanks to Paige Paige is it takes work but it's worth it

and you can join the Patreon two bonus episodes every month patreon.com slash downside what was that? oh check out Morgan's merch too

if you're watching on video oh yes Morgan is wearing his own merch oh yeah yeah yeah we only sell these at shows I don't sell merch online really oh good

you know why I gotta fucking I changed't sell merch online really oh good you know why I gotta fucking I changed I changed merch companies they had all this stuff in the warehouse I got 20 boxes of fucking t-shirts

yeah yeah I don't if you come to a show buy some fucking t-shirts man I am in the hole I don't need this many shirts well we can talk about how to sell merch because I sell

about 10 to 20 thousand dollars of merch now at shows yeah well there needs to be more people for me to move those kind of numbers yeah it's like McDonald's like hey you want to know thousand dollars in merch now that shows yeah well there needs to be more people to yeah for me to move those kind of numbers yeah it's like mcdonald's like hey you want to know how to run

your hamburger shop like we sell five billion burgers every second i'll talk to you after the show um uh i gotta this gotta stop this my this gotta stop i get paid in cash sometimes if you are paying me and the amount of money you're paying me fits into one bill, I don't need an envelope. I get an envelope. I'm expected to open and see at least two, three dollars in there. If it is a twenty dollar spot, do not give me an envelope because that is a disappointing open. I did not know what I was getting paid, but I got excited when I saw the envelope. I said at least 50, I think 50 maybe. And it's going to be it's going to be two 20s and a 10 20 i'm opening

the envelope i'm shaking it i'm turning it inside out there must be more there's a show that i do i haven't done in a while they pay you 20 but they don't even put it in a normal envelope. They put it into an envelope that you would put a key in. And so it's folded up inside this tiny... So it feels like you got a little... Little prize. Yeah. But it's just a $20 bill. You have to rip it open.

They're like... It's wild. And they're doing it because they're embarrassed to handle just the $20 to you. I say save the envelope. Add it on to what I'm getting paid. Because if it's a penny more, that's still like I made 0.1% more. That's funny.

That's why this has got to stop. If it's $20, just give it to me. And don't, I'm happy for the spot I'm talking about, but don't. $20. I saw how many people were in that room. I'm on the road. When you go on the road, sometimes you look at the sold-out room at the comedy club

and you go this is insane I know what kind of money you're making here now what's my door deal point zero zero zero one percent yeah

they're doing some tomfoolery please keep booking me Paige do you have this got to stop I do I'm going to do a music related

this has got to stop okay this has got to stop okay um this has got to stop musical comedy morgan you need to stop you need to stop what you're doing um this is gonna stop xyz celebrity or saying xyz celebrity is the celebrity of this generation so what i mean by that is a lot of people are saying now like um tate mccray is the new britney spears of this generation crazy i absolutely hate it like there's no replacing somebody as iconic as britney spears nor will there ever be and and the world's changed like you can't we're so fractured now yeah we don't

have britney spears is that there's like middle uh what what i was a middle class celebrities yeah yeah that's what i would say the middle class celebrities. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I would say. Middle class celebrities. And also just because you're like pulling archival like fashion pieces to wear on a red carpet

or at the VMAs or whatever, the same outfit that Britney wore doesn't mean that you're Britney Spears all of a sudden. I mean, even at the VMAs this year, like Sabrina Carpenter

wore Madonna's outfit. Exactly, exactly. Megan Thee Stallion did the Britney Spears outfit. It's like we just, and I understand that they were like honoring her as like the whatever VMA Vanguard or whatever. But like

that's different. But I think like when you're stealing somebody's like identity basically and then like trying to pass it off as your own and then people back that up by saying this artist is the new icon of this generation. It is so deeply offensive to that existing artist's work and like legacy that like and also the new artist should be doing something

new like something fresh something yeah that's what i want to see i want to see something original sure i don't want to a cheap pass up a walmart version of britney spears no offense to tate mcgray fans i know i think t Tate McRae is doing something very original. She's trying to be a music star without making any good music. Exactly. No, I think, I mean, I like Tate McRae because I like dancing. No, I think she's a phenomenal dancer for the record. That was a joke, guys.

I barely could tell you one Tate McRae song. That's that biting, sassy humor you were talking about. That's that biting, let me do it in auto-tune. I love a dancing performer. God damn, do I love hip-hop dancing. That's actually one of the next elements I'm planning to add to my show. Choreo?

Really? So, you know, I always try to involve the crowd somehow. I want to find a way to bring three audience members up and do a quick choreographed dance and have them back me up during a part of the song. That's fun. And then, because what I'm finding is people love to be the star of the show.

They love to be the center of attention and I'm giving them an opportunity to do this. So we've done it with music. We've done it with jokes. And if we can find a way to do it with dance now, I think it'd be really cool because I'm doing these R&b songs now on stage as well you know do you ever do you ever envision that this show is going to become

a concept show in the sense that you can um franchise it like like when you're talking about that i'm like you're you know you're talking about some songs that are are people like to hear yeah you're talking about like a dance segment. And I'm like, not, not to undermine your talent within it all, but like, it becomes an experience. So I want to go to the participation show. I want to go to the Cirque du Soleil.

Hey. Yeah. Cirque du Soleil might have a problem. Yeah. Um, no, I totally hear what you're saying. And like,

I think there is a world where that could potentially happen. You got to get one of those, whatever that box is, you got to have your own brand. I know. And I do. I do. You do? No, I have to do that. Yeah, you do. Because one of the most common questions I get is like, how do I get that sound on stage? And it's really pretty simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But yeah, I mean, me and my reps have talked about doing a residency type show, like Vegas type show. Sure. The next iteration of the tour is a full band, like a very kind of like rap pack, or like a James Brown kind of experience. Yeah. Like Morgan Jay and the Ja Ja Jaws or something like that. That's really cool.

So I've already had a couple of band rehearsals, and it's actually been super fun. I've always, I wanted to stand. I've done a couple of stand-up shows where you have a band and the lead person just is a great laugher and it feels amazing feels good but I want to be the James Brown

of this generation just in the terms of hitting your wife not having debt and not paying things back but as far as should I go into my this has got to stop

yeah go to your this has got to stop I was telling you before we started driving over here i was having a hard time thinking of something because i usually just kind of accept a lot of things but um this is more of a personal thing like i think we need to stop this has to stop we need to stop shaming people for showing people youtube videos at parties. Okay? If I reference a YouTube video and I say, let me show you real quick.

It's a quick video. Let me show you a little bit of it. I want to do it. But I immediately, when I start doing it, I'm like, you know what? I'm the guy at the party doing it. I'm going to stop.

And I back away from it. What video are we talking here? Like, which one of your bits? Oh, I want to... No, it's not my bed i want to show them an hour-long clip from a drogan podcast but that's but that's i i hate it not even at parties but even like to my girlfriend satize all she shows me tiktoks so we know it's short yeah sometimes i'll be like hey let's watch this she's like two minutes and i'm like god damn

in two minutes i don't get even you can't even trust me with two minutes of your time I know I think there's a pressure of watching something in front of somebody else what happens is that here's what happens because I did a I did a shrooms day with my boys

we went to Joshua Tree we did like two days and like we did the talking part and then once we got to the videos it really shifted the mood

suddenly we're in watch mode and then we like we were fucked up and we just watched our like favorite snl or favorite like comedy scenes but once you do that you've entered like it's lasted two hours it's less talky so i get that as long as you wait a little as long as you're not starting the party that's honestly the most controversial this has got to stop i could think of i i don't know no it's it's a it's a good but what kind of video you're showing what are you saying it's like a funny video that i saw twitter this guy dies crossing the street yeah you know it's like look at this funny cat looks

like a cartoon have you seen the video of this cat i mean wait can i show you this video it's so funny yeah you can show it to me there's no fucking service hold on let me see there's wi-fi go to the wi-fi no i think i could find. Let me see. There's Wi-Fi. Go to the Wi-Fi. I don't know. I think I can find it. Okay. Oh, yeah, this one. This one. I was sending this to everybody the other day.

Okay. You know what I mean? Like, come on. That's fun. That's funny. That's fun. Okay. And quick.

And quick. Come on. You got to see this video. It's funny. See, I am respectful of that. I won't be like. You got to see this video. See, I am respectful of that. I won't be like, you got to see this minute and a half sketch. Sometimes people show me like five minute long stuff. I mean, what are we?

Yeah, that's too much. Can you just send me the link and I'll watch it later? But all these apps, they've confused it. Now I'm uploading long clips too. I just uploaded a seven minute video to TikTok and Instagram. I just put together a 60 minute one for TikTok. Amazing. You should.

And you know what? It's going to do better than everything else. Maybe. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see. It'll go on Instagram. I just put together a 60-minute one for TikTok. Amazing. You should. And you know what? It's going to do better than everything else. Maybe. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see. It'll go on TikTok. Not in a way that's like,

I'm just saying, I don't know. You don't know. My most viral clip, I thought, was not a good clip. Sure. There's no punchline in it.

There's literally no joke in it. Sure. And I'm just, maybe it's just a vibe. I don't know. Let's go on to our final segment you better count your blessings

you better count your blessings it's good music it's good music you asked me to open for you once I wasn't free did I?

but it would be so cool oh I asked you to do a show in New York that I like curated these shows they might have me do it again next year that's okay I'd be honestly if it was your if it was the audience that goes to see you

my audience is very nice every opening i'd be nervous i'd be nervous that i'd like go 9-11 and they go jesus christ this is a first date please now my audience is so nice every venue every con they all say the same thing they're like your audience is so nice. Every venue, every con, they all say the same thing. They're like, your audience is so fun. They tip well. They drink. They have just a good time. People say that about my audiences too. And I wonder if it's because if you, now that people have fan bases as opposed to general public, they're your fans.

So they want to be nice for you. Yeah. As opposed to like the old days, it was just chaos every weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Blessing. do you have a blessing yes um my blessing is for any of my friends that have been to a show um related either to jamaica or the podcast um i had some friends come out to our like live tour um while we were on the east coast so that was really cool and then also just like friends have been to your shows and i feel like that means a lot so it's like not even like

me you know but sure it's very much directly connected to me so yeah like it goes a step beyond like their call of duty i think so making the time and like you know yeah making the time to show up for something that's important to me is really cool. That's very cool. And also, go see Tony Marco on the road. See me on the road, baby. And Morgan, too. You know we both have very Italian names.

My last name is very Italian. But you feel more real Italian than I am. Really? My last name is Venticinque. It's short, but it's still pretty strong. My dad's name was Gaetano Venticinque. Gaetano. Gaetano, yeah. it's short but it's still pretty strong my dad's name was Gaetano 25 Gaetano

25 how did you get Morgan J? I don't know I think my mom wanted to name me J and my dad was like let's do Morgan I think you could have an alternate persona that's your super Italian Argentinian and sister name

my blessing I did that's your super Italian Argentinian and sister name my blessing I was in Vancouver I was at the Biltmore the Couve they gave me some cool gifts they gave me a backup whale I have an Instagram chat group

that you can join and my assistant told them about it and so they got that as well it's cool but uh i only had one show friday and god when i have one show so much nicer i go long and then i when the merch line's done it's done yeah done yeah but i i went into dinner with uh just some more like local comics i just i knew i knew a local comic in vancouver and she like brought like five others you know comics were like some between five years in ten years

in maybe three years in and and it was so nice i love i like hearing about a comedy scene yeah and like i kind of like i'm like what's healthy about it what's not like i think i look at new york and i don't know if everyone feels this way after you've been long enough i go this scene is unhealthy right now or like the the abilities to get good and well i think like pod i think like social media is destroyed it's the same way with acting where it's like it's a mix of like these great actors and these horrible actors who got the role because they had a big following it's the same thing with comedy and it's so broken where the merit basis of it has broken down and i love but i love hearing like a different comedy scene and like you know in some places they have one comedy club or some places they have you know

this cool space but they only get to do five minutes that's all they ever get to do australia it's fascinating in england they they headline but they each do like 20 minutes like their headlining is three comics they don't do openers in the uk in there they have intermission and i love i love i something about it just fascinates me so it's very cool to get a chance and i want to try i want to go to places longer that's my goal and have a night off that's what i'm doing for europe this time yeah i'm spending like a month and a half in europe that's awesome and i want to like and i'm not the most social person i certainly i struggled making it in my own comedy scene but like it's it's cool to be an elder statesman uh be at like a dinner get to know the world there and just just talk comedy shop and

also be around like young comedians who are still kind of excited about it and not talk about like the work of it all or the door deals of it all or the business stuff, but just talk about the scene. What's the scene like here? It's a cool conversation. I like that. Do you have a blessing? Yeah.

This year, what I'm grateful for kind of vibe? Yeah. Yeah. This tour right now is my first tour where I can bring people with me, like a team of people. Very cool. How big a team? That's a dream. I can bring people with me, like a team of people. Very cool. How big a team? That's a dream.

I bring three people. I bring an opener, a merch slash social media person, and then my assistant slash piano player. Really? You could buy an assistant and piano player? Well, they do the same thing. He's the same guy. Yeah, I'm saying, but I'm saying that's a nice...

Yeah, so... That's like if it's my it's that's like my social media person slash beard trimmer yeah you know there's different things yeah i mean i mean uh i hired him as an assistant and um it just turned out that he was good at music and he accompanies me but um listen to courtney my assistant if if you can write roast jokes that'd be great but um you know i'm so used to doing things alone on the road and uh it can get a little bit lonely and you know so like having these i mean we were just in texas i mean like it was so fun and obviously i take a huge pay cut it's a substantial

at the end of the year it's a substantial amount of money that you spend on bringing people out yeah i know yeah um but uh you know having my friends with me that i can like go to a strip club with is pretty fun sure or or go somewhere else that's how lisa felt about her backup dancers too but uh but i've been it's been really wonderful to to like share this them and, and spend time with them and do things together and stuff like that. You know? Yeah. I mean, at a certain point, you know, I'm selling enough tickets where it's like, you know, we're going to, we're going to penny pinch here.

Like penny, it's like the numbers I'm, I'm seeing now, not, not to like, I'm not trying to be arrogant or anything. It's like, I've been doing this 15 years. So I'm all surprised. I'm surprised by it. I never even expected it at this point to get to this point,

you know? When you're flying though, you're going first class? Yeah. Only for the very long haul flights. And where are they going? They're going,

they're, I mean, well actually we haven't, I'm doing Europe. I haven't actually decided financially if it like makes sense for me to bring them to Europe.

Oh, sure. Because when I did Australia, I went alone. Yeah, same here. And I hired, I hired a local to Europe. Oh, sure. Because when I did Australia, I went alone. Yes, same here. I hired a local piano player. Oh, that's cool. But for Europe, it's just there's too many days between shows. I don't know.

It's those international attempts. Yeah, it's just a lot of money. And the guarantees and the door deals aren't the same as what you make in America. It's bizarre. Yeah. It's kind of bizarre. And the exchange rate sometimes.

That Australia exchange rate was brutal. Yep. 60 cents? 60 cents on the dollar? God damn. Because when you get the payout, your walkout potential with the Australian dollars,

you're like, oh my God. I got the paper the other day. It was in Canada. And I was just like, is this Canadian or American? And I was just like, I know, I know. Please be American.

Please be American. Yeah, it is Canadian. And then you got to do Canadian tax law or Australian tax law. Oh my God, Canada? Like the merch, it was like a theater. So it was like 20%.

They took 20%. Then there was the seller. It was 200 a day, so it was like 20%. They took 20%. Then there was the seller. It was $200 a day. And it was just, it was just one of those where like, I thought about lugging this bag around.

And I thought, yeah, it wasn't worth $300. That was awful. 100%. I already told my merch person, I said, we're not bringing anything.

I know. One day, once I get rid of these 50 boxes. Morgan, where can people find you? Just go to morganj.com. That's J-A-Y.com. And then all my tour dates will be there. And then follow me on Twitch,

because that's the thing I'm kind of like putting a lot of my energy into. I live stream and I play video games with fans. I do music streams, reaction streams, all sorts of stuff live on stream. Great. And yeah, it's a lot of fun um we're not going to release this episode but if we did we put the links there um remind me right at this i just want to do a quick intro of like this is going this is coming out before the election yeah and i just want to say a little like hey guys we're

not addressing it here's why it's on election day. It's election day. Oh, that'd be great. Who are you calling it? Who's it going to be? I think Kamala will win. I think Tim Waltz is just like such a shining light in politics right now. It does sound like the debate went very excitingly for him. Really?

Yeah, that's a consensus that he really kind of shit the bed a little bit. Tim Waltz? Waltz? Yeah. Why kind of shit the bed a little bit. Tim Waltz? Waltz? Yeah. Why did he shit the bed? JD Vance's job... Talk about the debate thing we were talking about

at the very beginning. That's what he does. He looks good. And I think... And then they talked about Israel. And like, you know, Waltz had to do whatever dance he did.

We had to go against every principle he's ever had to fit into the company line. Yeah. Yeah. You can find me, you know, the places, but more important, please subscribe on Spotify. Thank you to Spotify. Give us five stars. Join the Patreon if you can, patreon.com slash downside.

But if you're looking to save money, just subscribe to Spotify. Even if you're watching on YouTube, just go do it right now. Paige, do you want to plug anything yeah um follow us on instagram at the downside pod and also um tiktok if you like stand-up comedy and want to go see uh an unconventional show uh go check out don't tell comedy you can get tickets at don't tell comedy.com um We're in over 200 cities worldwide. So see if there's a Sydney interview. Oh, yeah.

For a second, I thought you were going to say, if you want to see some unconventional comedy, go see Morgan Jay. Oh, that too. No, but I mean, just kidding. I had the same thought, but for John Marcos Reyes. No, but both of you have done. And I was like, I wouldn't describe myself as unconventional. Both of you have done Don't Tell Shows.

So you might see somebody like Morgan or John Marcos on the show. I feel slightly responsible for that. Did you just say you might see the next Morgan Jair? No, I said somebody like. We never talk about this, by the way. Why do you have baby wipes? What's going on? I felt the doo-doo coming on the drive over here, and this is in my glove box,

and I just refuse anymore to not be comfortable when I take a shit somewhere. I refuse. Because I have a bidet at home. I was going to ask. I have a bidet at home and after using the bidet and having to travel from place to place all over the world, I just can't do

it anymore. I've never gotten into it and believe you me, I'm Italian. A bidet? No, I'd love to have a bidet. This is going to change your whole fucking life. But I can't be carrying it around loose. I gotta bring that with me everywhere I go.

Well, they have travel little... When I travel flights and stuff, I have just like five sheets. They have the travel ones. Here's why I don't. Because toilet paper's been working out fine for me. Has it, though? It's just been working out fine. Has it? I mean, you know, it's... Have you seen the thing where they put shit on a wall and they try to wipe it off with just a piece of

paper? Wait, what do they do? Well, they show they try to wipe it off with just a piece of paper? Wait, what do they do? Well, they show you like, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, like smear. Like the difference between using something moist with liquid and just using a dry piece of paper, toilet paper to wipe something down. Sure. It's a completely different experience. Morgan's butthole is very clean. You know it's clean.

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