The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #243 Identity Crisis with Julian Sewell

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

Julian Sewell (Paloma Diamond), joins to share the downsides of growing up in the international bubble of Hong Kong, discovering Gianmarco has a girlfriend, and we get to the bottom of how to say “no” in Australian.  You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join the Patreon free for 7 days for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and MORE. Follow Julian on Instagram and TikTok See Uncle Function live in NYC during NYCF on November 16: https://ucbcomedy.com/show/uncle-function-nycf/ Follow The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi on Instagram Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's bi-monthly show in NYC Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Dave Columbo Technical production by Chris Mueller Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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agreement with iGaming Ontario. Did you have Super Nintendo? We just blow it up. And then they said blowing is bad because of the salt in your spit. Well, we'll probably have to cut some of that. Yeah. Yeah. Do we start over? No, no.

Whatever. I mean, nothing has been great so far. So welcome to the downside. We are restarting this episode because I got the guest's name wrong. The wire was buzzing, but we're back. This is after the election. Russell's feeling good because it was Trump. Congratulations, buddy.

Don't make those jokes. We're recording this October 7th, so we're a month out. So we don't know who won. But so I wouldn't be making these cocky fucking jokes. I got I got four messages today saying, why haven't you posted about October 7th? And I said, I did. Russell being on Broadway in Gutenberg. Oh yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I can't, I count that as an act of antisemitism, frankly. Okay. Uh, my name is Dr. Marcus Rays

and I'm here with my cohost Russell Daniels. So I haven't seen in so long. Yeah. Where were you? Uh, I was in, well, I was going to bring into it, bring in the guests. Okay. Yeah. Let's do that. Yeah. Hi. Say his name. Julian. Julian. Yeah. Sewell. Sewell. Sewell. Sewell. Welcome Julian from New Zealand. You may know him as Paloma diamond. Uh, are you going to, are you going to keep it going? Do you, are you, do you, how much more do you got in you? Is this going to be a full thing? Yeah. I think that's what the people want. So I know, I know. Yeah. So I'm just, I'm

just, I, I'm loving it. I'm just having a lot of fun. Just doing what, yeah. What the people want, what they suggest, what they're like, you know, we want more Paloma. So I'm going to give it to them. Now where do you think the election's going? Cause I mean, this literally is crazy to be recording anything before the election for after the election. We're going to record so many things before. I mean, a bunch.

Yeah. I think we're going to I think we have to each episode pick a new candidate, one for RFK, one for Elon Musk just buys the country, one for we moved to New Zealand. Yes. You may have come here at the wrong time. I think it's going to be really look, I could be totally wrong, right? Cause we'll find out when people listen to this. I've spoken to a lot of people and they've taken an informal poll.

Yeah. I've been talking to people in rural Pennsylvania. No, I've been talking to people here. I've been talking to exclus, among the Paloma diamond fans. I'm sure Kamala is winning in a landslide. No, this is the thing you say landslide because the amount of people I've spoken to, they're like, it won't be a landslide. What we know is that it will be very, very close either way. That's what people have told me. They're like, it will not be a landslide. It will not be a landslide. Well, I think the thing is like, what's so crazy is that

you're like, she'll probably definitely win the popular vote, but, and then that means nothing anymore. I just never, you know what I mean? Like, and so it's just this thing that you're like, Oh, it's overall relying on a few hundred thousand people in this country to, to, you know, anyways. So who do you think? Let's say it. I think I got to tell you, I don't fucking know. Yeah, I don't think anyone does though. Here's the other thing too. I was just thinking about talking about some of the other day is you're like when they're like showing these polls, you're like as a millennial or younger people, I'm not answering the phone call to like a, so like there's no way those polls like either way it can

be that good. Do you know what I mean? But then you're like in your mind, you're like, well, hopefully then like the theory that younger people are way less likely to answer the phone to a random number would maybe play in our favor of like, actually, you know, I think it plays it. They're not going to go vote unless they do poll. Maybe they do it like Snapchat. They do like a send us a tip pick if Kamala said it's a person. But a lot of people, young people did vote in 2020. So I think it's just the thing of getting that same amount of big thing. I do think that like a lot of like young 18 year old, wait, is it legal? Is it 18 you have to be here in this country to vote? Oh, to vote? I don't know.

It's 18, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it 18? Yeah, it's 18. What are you saying? My prediction is that some states are 17. Don't put that on the fucking Instagram page. People will be like, these men didn't know that.

I think all the 18 year olds will probably vote Kamala. Like all of those young, you know, progressive left. If they come out. I think that they'll. If they come out. Yeah, if they vote. If they vote. Yeah. Well, this must be fun for the people at home already know exactly what happened. I know. It's like. We know and you don't.

So sorry. Wait, this is coming out when? On Election Day? This must be fun for the people at home. Or I know it's like, we know when you don't. So sorry. And wait, this is coming out when on election day. It's coming out the Tuesday after the election. We're that far November 10th or 12th or whatever. Yeah. Oh my God. But didn't it take ages the last time, like in 2020? You got a good point.

Didn't it take like days and days and days? So it could be that we might not know. But I will say this though. I, it did take like five days or something like that, but I feel like I went to bed November 20th on election night feeling like, Oh, uh, she, I went to bed thinking like, Oh, Biden won. I remember like, I like knew it was going to take some time, but I will say, I think we could, if I were to guess, if we're going to make predictions, welcome to day four of the insurrection of Washington, D.C.

Things are not looking good. This is fun. This is like, this could actually be like, we can't actually air this episode. My fiance, who is a reporter, said that if Kamala does win, which is what everyone wants, that that's going to essentially be like the start of a massive civil war. This is the downside. He wouldn't like me to say that, by the way. He wouldn't be like, no, don't tell them that I said that. But I, I...

You're listening to The Downside. Can I tell you something? Which is so funny. I always forget to tell you guys when they don't put in headphones. There was theme music playing and it was perfect. I could, I was like, what is that? No, it's just funny. Cause first, first you talk and go like, it's cool. It's a fun effect to talk over the sound music, but then as it hits the second sentence, you go,

oh no, they don't, they don't realize. No, see, that's why you should have told me to put them on. I know. And people always do. And we always forget. Oh, I'll put them on now. And then that's the only, that's really the only sound to them. No, there's another, there's another two in an hour. Yeah. I bet you can hear like, you can hear everybody a lot more clear. Yeah. Okay. Um, uh, welcome to the downside. Our guests from New Zealand. They don't know how headphones work in general. This is all new to them. Uh, if you're a fan of the show, join the Patreon, patreon.com

slash downside. That's how we keep this thing going. And even if you watch, subscribe on the Spotify, it helps us get some ad sales. I, I, we, we both knew you, but then I went to New Zealand on my, my little tour and we, we got dinner and my God, I believe in a no tip culture, but I have never waited so long to put in the initial order in my entire life than our meal together. I was in a state, they took their time, didn't they? They took like, I mean, 25 minutes to take the first order and you got one refill baby. That doesn't usually happen though. I will say that. No, no, no. I think you would just, it was just a bad day, but sometimes you are going like, where is the waiter?

It happened in Sydney too though. I went with Tova's family though. And it was like, and again, I think it's a better system, but it was shocking. It was like the whole eight of us at a table for 30 minutes before we got a waiter. And I mean a literal 30 minutes and you go, okay, maybe. Are you tipping here now or do you go, sorry, New Zealand? No, no, no. Oh God, no, no, maybe. Yeah. Have you got, are you tipping here now? Or do you go, sorry, New Zealand? No, no, no.

Oh God, no, no, no, no. It's custom. You have to tip here, which is just so weird. No, what I find really weird is that most of the restaurants and places that you go to, it's already in the machine. Like 18, 20, 22. I mean, let me decide. Why is it that it's out,

what if it's a really bad service? It was through, I listened to a podcast about how COVID kind of incentivized a lot of kind of the extremes of tip and culture that we're in right now, where everyone's kind of annoyed by it, but it hasn't gone anywhere. I saw a machine the other day, it says 18, 20, 25%, they flipped it.

Like I'd be so fucking stupid, I'd go left, and it was 25% on the left, 2018. I don't mind always hitting 25. Really? You're always hitting 25? Yeah. Unless it's like, I don't think I've ever not done it. No wonder you don't have any money to bet on elections.

Yeah. I can't even tell if that was from the part that we cut. Yeah. I just don't think, um, I don't think it's, I'm always like, yeah, you know what I mean? The only time sometimes it's confusing is when you're doing at a coffee place and it's just like one, two or three, like they do a 25% is like a quarter of the actual price. That is so much money. Yeah. But I feel like whenever it's an automated thing like that on those machines, it's like for something small. I'm like, you know what I mean? It's like for like a, you know, a meal or something, you know, it's not like I'm like doing that on $300. That's

crazy. You know, I think that's crazy. I will do 20. If I'm doing meals, I'll do 20 to 25% generally. Okay. Yeah. No, see, I always picked the low one. I always picked the lowest. Sure. But again, I can, I can blame that on my ignorance of American being like, well, I'm from New Zealand and I just don't tips. And the prices are worse. I mean, New Zealand, I mean, you know, I, when I did the gig there, I made 30,000 New Zealand dollars. It came out to six American dollars. Yeah, it's brutal. I lost. I lost crazy. My merch sales weren't good. They said New Zealand's on tough times.

Now, do you understand why I'm moving here? Is New Zealand on tough times? New Zealand is on tough times. Are you joking? I'm not the right person to to ask Paloma Diamond. Let's come like coming here and asking Meryl Streep, like, how's the economy? How's the economy here in America? No, I mean, no, I, uh, we, yeah, let's just say, yeah, let's just say, yes. Yeah.

It's, I mean, I think a lot of countries are recovering from a very, very difficult, let's say five years. Yeah. I talked to someone in Australia and like it sounds like COVID stuff there was fucking intense and New Zealand. We were all admiring the liberals. Of course, we're admiring New Zealand from afar because we liked what's her name? Just send her Ardern. Just send her Ardern. Yes. And she is the Prime Minister. Formerly. Yeah. Uh, who is it? He didn't know that though. That's why he like, when we were having dinner, he didn't know that.

Yeah, listen, sometimes people learn things. We had a podcast clip recently where people were very annoyed. It was Busy Phillips, like taught us something about women's rights. And everyone was like, how could they not know that? And I go, guys, I cut the clip. I captioned the clip.

I put it out there to tell more people about it. What's the response? Why didn't you know that already? Thanks for welcoming us with open arms. I can't wait to be on the same team. Jesus fucking Christ Almighty. And people saw that clip. People, people, not many men didn't know that piece of information. Not saying that that's right that they didn't know it, but it is. It just is. It is. It just is. It is.

And so I think, frankly, a service has been done. And why should we get ashamed for we put the clip out? It just was so frustrating. Anyways, whatever. So you were born in New Zealand. No, I wasn't. You were born in Australia. No, I wasn't. We had this whole talk. Good job. It's somewhere. It's somewhere foreign. It's somewhere foreign. It's in Australia. No, I wasn't. We had this whole talk. Good job. It's somewhere foreign.

It's somewhere foreign. It's in Europe. No. It's in Asia. Yeah. It's in Asia. Okay. Do you remember me telling you this

or it's the reason why I don't sound like a Kiwi. Yes, you talk. I mean, listen, I couldn't tell you what a Kiwi, do a Kiwi impression. I don't know. You know I can't do that. I can't even do it. Well, you could, if he's from Asia,

you can do one of those. Shut up. So you're born in Hong Kong. Yes. Hong Kong. And both your parents were there and they were professors? Well, I technically, my dad was the head of the Hong Kong Geological Survey. And so he, he did lecture at university, the Hong Kong University.

And you were there for a long time? Yeah, for the first 20 years of my life. Do you speak Mandarin? Cantonese. Cantonese? I can get around. I like to lie and say, yeah, I'm fluent, and then just do like the train announcements.

And then be like, oh my god. We'd be impressed. Did you have an accent for a while? Did you have a Chinese accent? Did you? In the past? No. No, you were raised. I wasn't saying were you imitating one as a child?

No. No. I just saw a video and it was like, it was a white guy who grew up in China and he had a Chinese accent. And everyone thought he was making fun his whole life. People go, shut up, stop. What are you doing?

So if I went to a local school where all of the teachers are in Chinese and it's actually done, like the school is taught in Cantonese Chinese, then I probably would have had a Chinese accent. That's wild. Or at least I could go into it without feeling like I'm judging people. Sure, sure. Because that's just naturally. But no, I went to an international school. I see.

With a lot of expats, but a lot of people from everywhere all over the globe. So like Australia, like, and a lot of, what's really cool is you get to meet people who are like mixed race and from really interesting backgrounds. You know, like one of my really good friends was like half Thai, half Swiss or half Pakistani, half Irish or half Scottish, half Japanese. And it's just, you just meet like a huge, it's just this Hong Kong is this huge international melting pot from people from all over, all over the world. I see. I love that. I think I've, I've talked with you and I did an episode with Laura Ramosa, who's, I saw it. Yeah. And she, you know, she also has this deep international upbringing

through all these different places. And that's how I feel whenever I travel, I go America feels even though we were raised calling it the melting pot. It's just like there are, there's such, it's so fascinating. I feel like you know more of the world, you know more of different cultures. And I'm very jealous. I think what, if I ever had a kid, there's part of me that's like, wouldn't it be cool to not fucking, I mean, who was in my class? It was mostly Irish, Irish, half Irish, half a general white that no one was really sure until 23 and me.

Wow. Do you have any international students? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We grew up upstate New York. It was very, you know, yeah, very white. I don't know Irish. I couldn't, Irish or Italian, you know, some English probably, you know.

And you were in Hong Kong until what year? I left to Australia in 2015 and I did, I studied at uni or what you would say college over here. Yes. I did that. I did like a bachelor's degree, which is three years over there, not four, three, your undergraduate degree. And then, um, and then I moved back home to Hong Kong and I worked full time and then I wanted to pursue a master's degree. Do you feel, do you feel like Hong Kong? Do you feel like that's, is there a party or like that's home? Now we're getting really deep because it's like, I have a loss of identity. I have a huge identity crisis. Like I don't know where I'm from. Which yeah, yeah. It's like an internal conflict

that I'm struggling with. Is that because Hong Kong changed or it just doesn't feel like home in general? Cause like my, my parents are both Kiwis. They're both from New Zealand. So when I was growing up in Hong Kong, people were like, Oh, where are you from? And I'm like, I'm from New Zealand. And they're like, oh, that's nice. Go back to New Zealand. I don't sound anything like a Kiwi, like for Christmas or holidays and vacation, that kind of thing. And they're all like, where are you from?

I'm like, I'm from here. They're like, no, you're not. Where do you live in Hong Kong? You're from Hong Kong. But I don't feel anything like I'm from Hong Kong because I don't know the language. I didn't practice the culture, the traditions, the customs. You know, I grew up in a very international bubble. So that's part of the reason why I feel like I'm dealing with this kind of identity

crisis was because I feel like I don't belong to any like part. Yeah. And you know, any part, any country. I feel like I belong. Like, have you talked to other? Go ahead. Do your parents now live in New Zealand other? Go ahead. Oh, sorry. Do your parents now live in New Zealand or are they still around? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they retired in 2020 and moved over. So okay. Do you have other international student friends that have that same feeling? Yes. Yeah. And it's not just in Hong Kong. There's quite a number of us and we all sound really weird. We all sound very, very just like we're from nowhere.

Essentially we sound like aliens. I remember when I moved to New Zealand to do my master's degree and I bumped into someone and she sounded weird. I'm like, where are you from? She's like, I'm from Saudi Arabia. I went to an international school, but she was a Kiwi. Her parents were Kiwis, but she had grown up in Saudi Arabia.

And I'm like, high five, cause I know everything that you're going. She's like, high five, you're in international school? Yeah, yeah. And we were able to like bond over that. Which I think there are a lot of us out there. And I think that, yeah, I think if you just scratch the surface of any city

and you really like meet people, you realize we're actually a lot more international than you think. Do you, do you feel, do you think you feel loneliness because of that identity thing? Cause I, where I grew up, I understand it's all, it's all America, but like if you told me I never was going to go back to Maryland ever again, is that where you're from? Yeah, I'd be fine. But that's more like, that's more family stuff. My mom moved to LA. So that, you know, that changed it for me. Do you still feel like home is home? Yeah, I do. Yeah. I mean, like, I mean, I feel like New York's my home, my real home, but like here, but I think, uh, when I do visit my, like the

area I grew up in, I do feel nostalgia and like, you know, like certain, I love visiting it. Do you think like, man, that the Dunkin' Donuts there tastes better than any other Dunkin' Donuts in the world? Yeah. Do you ever go back to Hong Kong or how different is Hong Kong to you since the whole change? Well, so this is so interesting because actually if you were to really like get technical about everything, I wasn't born in Hong

Kong, I was born in the UK because I was born in 1996, which was a year before the handover back to the Chinese. Okay. So I was born technically in British Hong Kong, if you want to get really, Oh, I see. So then the handover happened. And the British handed Hong Kong back over to the Chinese. And there was just a very, like it didn't immediately turn communist. There was an agreement that was made where there was like a period of about 25, I think it's 25 years.

Don't quote me on that. Somebody's gonna comment on what the amount of time was. But it was like- Our fans have no fucking idea. We had to discuss this on another podcast. Yes, I think we talked about it on Dr. Jason. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. He's from Malaysia and you kept mixing it up with China.

No, he was talking about this, though. Yeah. Because we watched the protest from afar. Yeah. Yeah. I was there. There were two major. Well, actually, like they're they're all kind of blend into one. But I was there in 2014 when it was the first kind of big they call it the umbrella movement. And it was them like occupying the streets. And we never, ever thought my family and I never thought that it would ever like protests like this or political uprest would ever happen in a city like Hong Kong, because it was considered so safe. You could walk home at 4am in the morning after like a night out in the club, walk home without having

to feel, I mean, mind you, I am a man and not a woman, but without having to feel like you'll be mugged or like that. It's just, it's just such a safe city. Crime is at a, like, is that an all time low. But did you think China wouldn't have a desire to, that Xi Jinping wouldn't at some point go like, yeah, we'd like to have our rules here too. It was, it's like, I mean, it's so, I almost feel like I can't even like talk, I'm not like qualified enough to talk about it, but.

But you are! No, I know I am, but I, but I also like, you must understand, like, very, very privileged bubble. Like very privileged. I was not a local Hong Kong, Hong Kong Chinese person dealing with Hong Kong Chinese issues. And like, I just, I had a very different, I was very privileged, very, very privileged. Were you up to date? Like, like, do you remember when Xi Jinping came into power? Like, I don't

even know what year. No, I don't. No, I, I, we, I know when it was in 2014, we had a woman called Carrie Lam, I believe. And I remember in no, no, it was no, no, no, no, no. 2014 was some other guy. He became the elected president in March. No, that's that's China. That's China. So Hong Kong is different leader. Yeah. What were they called? What's the leader of Hong Kong called? So I have no idea who it is now. Um, I think, I think it was a CY lung was the guy, CY lung was the guy when I remember when I was 2014, I was 18 years old. Yeah. And, um, the, I remember that there were all of these protests happening and I was old enough to work and I remember that there were all of these protests happening and I was old enough to work and

I remember I was staying at home with my dad, my mom was visiting somewhere and my dad was like, oh, it'll all be fine in the morning. It'll all be clear up in the morning. You'll be able to get on your bus. And I'm like, that's Admiralty Station. Like I need to get off my bus to get on another bus at that station. Pepper spray and everything. Dad's like, it'll

all be gone tomorrow. Wake up the next morning. The whole city, the central business district is occupied. The ev like everyone like traffic has stopped. Is that an old like a standstill? No one can get anywhere. And my dad's like, Oh, you're going to need to find another way into work. So I was like, oh, okay. These protests were which were protesting what? These were 20 to the 2014. They all kind of the same kind of protests. Yeah.

Protesting for democracy. Yeah. There was a small minutia of people that were also protesting for Hong Kong independence, which is a different thing. But the majority of people who were protesting and who protested in 2019 were protesting for democracy. Being able to like, you know, elect who you want to elect as leader. But the 2019 protests, they were sparked from an extradition bill that was proposed after.

Look, I really don't know all the details. I just remember watching from afar from America and going like, God bless, it feels like China's gonna do what it wants to do in this particular city. And that's ultimately what happened, right? I mean, for the most part, it was like quelled. Well, this is the thing. So I went back to Hong Kong for the first time in five years in July.

Okay. Okay. I was just there in July. And I remember I was like sitting about in a restaurant with someone and I was just like, so what about the protests or anybody out there? They're all going, shh, because it's illegal to talk about it now. I didn't even know. I was so dumb. I was like, they're like, it's illegal. It's illegal to protest. So I was like, Oh God, it's really becoming like China now. So should it do stand up there? I guess. I was looking, I'm looking at it. Yeah. I'm looking at it, but you know, you know, there's that part that's like, well, can I get away with one protest joke? No. Okay. No, don't. No, seriously, don't. You could go to Hong Kong.

Oh, God, no, maybe maybe don't. Maybe just keep everything light and fluffy. If I was if I was taken, if I was taken to prison, would you help convincing Kamala to make the trade for some war guy we got here? OK, I let let me ask you this. How am I helping you? What do you mean? How you have you keeping the public movement going? You know what happened to like start a movement like a like free. Yeah. Free Joe Marco and you got to keep it in the press. That's how they got the kid back. That's how they got Otto Warmbier back from North Korea.

So you want to do like front facing characters. If you got Paloma Diamond to make a please three free job, Mark, if you made if you ever made a guy that was the peak of covid, was all the celebrities singing a match in. Oh, my God. That would have been that would have been a good one. Remember that? That was so cringe. I always wanted to see who a who sent a tape but didn't get it put in, you know, they weren't quite famous. You know,

they probably sent out a big net and then like saw who they got to respond. And then some were like, well, they're not going to make the cut. And then who was like, no, I don't wanna. I feel bad. I'm sure you're a celebrity. You got nothing to do. Someone says, hey, we wanna make a video to cheer people up. Just sing Imagine. And you just can't imagine how cringy

the final product is gonna be. I think if you have money and you wanna help, ultimately you have to look for it. No, but I'm just saying if you have money, if you have a lot of money, you just gotta look in the mirror and go, the only way it can help really is to give this money away. Was Gail Godot, does she organized it? Gail Godot? Yeah. Gail Godot? Isn't it Gal Godot?

Gal Godot? Oh my God. Actually, I remember doing this for a video. I once said her name and then somebody was like, Gal Godot is not how you pronounce it. Apparently it's Gal Godot. Gal Godot. But Gadot waiting for... Gal Gadot. But then I don't know. Somebody might like comment on this and be like, actually, that's not how you say it. Waiting for Gadot. Gadot.

Yeah. Terrible actor. Who? Oh, Gal. Gal Gadot and Gadot. Yeah. I got my family to watch Wonder Woman 1984. Why did you get them to?

Because it was like it was Christmas. I thought we don't like it. Oh, I thought you like saw it. We're like family. You've got to watch. No, no, no. You ever give someone a bad wreck and then they never trust your wrecks ever again.

Yeah, I did that with my uncle. I told him to see a musical called Alter Boys. Did you ever hear of Alter Boys? It's like an off-broadway. It was like Backst Alter Boys. Did you ever hear of Alter Boys? It's like an off-Broadway. No, but I can only imagine. It was like Backstreet Boys parody. It was boys with a Z. Yeah, but it was like a Backstreet Boys parody

where they were all Alter Boys. And it was just like, I think it was before I realized, oh, this is super gay and I love it. And my uncle is not gonna love it. Wait, are you gay? No. No, because when you said girlfriend, I was like, your girlfriend or your girlfriend?

I'm so sorry to offend, if I offended you. You know Tova, Tova, that's my girlfriend. Yes, but when you said girlfriend, I thought you were like, that's my girlfriend. I thought it was your girlfriend. When I said earlier that this is the room we first made love in, did you think it was like, you mean like you made love or like you sang that song?

That's when I realized. You made a Spice Girls music video together. I'm sorry, no, no, but you've got to, look, you posted a photo with you like- No, no, no, yeah, yeah. What, and then all of these- With a Wacock? What was it?

No, you were like holding and you were topless and you looked and I was just like, Oh, that's his boyfriend. No, Jay, Jay, Jay is my boyfriend. You're like your bromance person. That was, I mean, to be fair, that wasn't Fire Island with my friend, Jay, and we were both shirtless at an all. Like, come on, that looks so gay. Like, look! Sorry. It just does. Like, no, even the way you're standing, like you're giving a little shoulder. Well, that's just okay. That's just me. Like, um, this is no disrespect. You can be whatever kind of straight you want to be.

No, it's just so funny that even saying girlfriend didn't even... it wasn't even enough. Made love. It wasn't even enough. It wasn't even enough. You, that's so funny. Imagine you two making a music video in there. It's very funny. I'm so sorry. What is, speaking of Hong Kong,

what is gay rights like in Hong Kong? Did that change too? Is it like, don't mention the protests or the boyfriend? No, I think Hong Kong for the most part tends to be pretty liberal on that front. I mean, I didn't go to a gay bar the last time I was there, but they still have, they still have like the nightclubs and the places to go. But growing up, oh, it was very liberal.

Like you must understand that Hong Kong is, if you like, technically, it's actual technical name is Hong Kong SAR, meaning Hong Kong Special Administrative Region. Because even though it is a part of China, it's like, it's what's referred to as the one country, two systems thing. So it's like a little liberal zone. Now that liberal zone is kind of beginning to fade away now. It's slowly beginning to kind of become kind of gray and turning back into China. But definitely when the 1997 handover happened, like there was an, like I said, there was an agreement made to make Hong Kong this kind of special kind of zone. Yeah. Yeah. When you go to

the UK, is it weird? Are there like similarities where you're like, Oh, like, do you feel at home in the UK in its own way? Well, this is the thing. You can totally tell the British influence when you go to Hong Kong. It's very much that. Like, they've all got like, you know, double-decker buses. They have high tea. Yes, you can have dim sum, but then you can go and I think it's the peninsula or the Shangri-La and you can go and have high tea. And you can go, they have all of these like, basketball courts in the middle of the city and you can play croquet. And it's like, you can, it's, it's all you can. And even they have the tram network, the tram system, which is like old school trams that I think was like, they, they were initiated in, um, I believe, uh, like 1901. So same kind of time. I don't even know if

they have trams in the UK anymore, but it's that kind of British influence. You see, you feel like it's all very English. It's surreal. It's like when I go to New Orleans and I feel that like French European thing or Montreal and you're just like, Oh wow. I experienced it here with the Dutch. Because it wasn't I really don't know much about American history, but wasn't New York. You got the expert right here. Isn't it? Because like I look at the the fronts of the buildings and I'm like, it

looks like Amsterdam. Yeah. Is that from the Dutch influence? There was a lot of Dutch here. And there was a whole like Dutch farmhouse up by where I live, which was like the last one of the last, one of the last farmhouses that still exists. It's like a museum now. You can go into it. But yeah, there's a lot of Dutch people here. And were you doing, because you did some theater.

I did. Did you do it in Hong Kong? Yeah. So I did community theater in Hong Kong on top of high school. That's wild. So high wild. What kind of shows? She would love it if her name was mentioned. Lindsay McAllister. The Hong Kong Youth Arts Foundation, HKYAF. I was in a production of Spring Awakening where I played Moritz Stiefel, you know, the one with the spiky hair. Is that the Don't Do Sadness?

Yeah. Wow. You know, the one with the spiky hair. Is that the Don't Do Sadness? Yeah. Wow. So that, and I got that when I was 15. So community theater, that's bold. Was there, we had to sign, like it was very, very bold for us to do. Yeah. So we did you do the nudity?

No, you're 15. The show has some nudity. We talked about it. No masturbation, not nudity. Oh, in our version there was a, there was a boob, there was a butt. There's masturbation. There was, they did masturbation. How it was done was somebody basically, like they had a blanket and they just did this with their thumb.

Okay. Ever since trying to go down, you can't even pretend to masturbate. We didn't really do the rape scene. The rape scene was done. I don't even remember the rape scene. There is a rape scene when they said, well, the chorus saying, I believe. Well, actually, no. So it's technically a rape scene in the original play. And then the musical, they didn't want to make it that heavy. So they made it like a like a beautiful first first love experience.

So they took away the rape. They went the full opposite direction. It was like, what are you doing? I don't know. It's that kind of thing. Oh God. So still rape. But it was supposed to be, and then the older,

this is what happens in Spring Awakening. God, what are you doing? This is what happens in Spring Awakening. But they change the parenthetical, it's like sweetly. No, they all sing, they all sing. I believe, I believe, I believe. Oh, I believe there is love in heaven as they're like having sex.

But in the original play, it's rape. Yeah. Like it's rape. I love that you're whispering. But still saying the words. Into the microphone. Sorry. It feels bad to say that out loud.

That's a crazy shift. But then I was in God. That's a crazy shift. But then I was in a crazy shift. But yeah, then I was in Godspell where I played Jesus. Jesus also died. Moritz killed himself in spring waking. Jesus died on the cross. You ever done Godspell? No, I did it once.

It was fun. It's I mean, it's kind of like, I don't love like it's a weird show to do, but it's timeless. Your parents, but it's a weird show to do, but it's timeless. Your parents, but it's the music's fun. Yeah. Tova really loves, uh, she's actually going to Edinburgh to see it. Um, uh, Joseph and the Technicolor dream. Oh, I did that once too. None of those Bible things mean anything. Yeah. Did you grow up with religion in Hong Kong? Yeah. Well like, yeah, my family and I went to church and everything. So doing spring awakening was a bit of a, cause there's a lot of, I had to swear and my parents had to watch.

I had to say, just fuck it right enough that's... And I had to sing that song. And I was just like, oh my gosh, like I was scared my dad was going to walk out of the theater. But then he knew, but then he knew and he was like, okay, as long as it's for theater, as long as it's for a shit like show, then fine.

So he never had a problem with it. So then did you end up going to a college for theater? Was this like the thing you wanted to do? Yeah, so I thought I was good enough to get into musical, like a musical theater program, which technically I decided I wanted to, I think it's a school called the Guilford School of Acting. And my drama teacher in high school went there. She was like, you know, I think you've got a really good shot at doing the musical theater program.

So I auditioned and I got in, but they're like, it's only conditional to you getting 32 points in IB. We did something called the IB diploma. Do you guys have that in the States? No. Or I don't know. If we do, we certainly are not close to it. So the IB diploma is the hardest high school diploma in the world behind the

French baccalaureate. So IB stands for the international baccalaureate. And yeah, sorry, this is kind of boring, but yeah, I got, I had to get 32 and I didn't get 32, I got 29. So I didn't, I didn't make it to, to Guilford. I didn't make it to, to the UK. And then I had like, yeah, six months where I did, I was just working and my dad was like, do you want to wait another six months and try again for the UK? Or do you want to go to the, do you want to go to college now? And I was like, I do. It's like, we can try Australia. So I wanted to do, I wanted to go to Sydney and they're like, oh, applications for new South Wales have closed. Oh, the, what about Melbourne? Oh, applications

for Victoria have closed. Okay. Well, what about Melbourne? Applications for Victoria have closed. Okay, well, what about Brisbane? Applications for Queensland have closed. Okay, well, what about Perth? Oh, Western Australia, still open. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went to Perth. Hell, do you regret it?

No, I don't. I say that because I met some really amazing people in the little, like the theater program that I did. I did end up studying theater in Curtin University in Perth, Western Australia. Is Perth not a good time? No Perth is, the only thing about Perth is that it's, it's that people don't like is that it's very, very isolated from the rest of the country.

So Australia and mainland US are roughly the same size. Australia is far less inhabited though, because a lot of the middle is just like fucking desert. Nothing. Yeah. Yeah. It's called the animals, right? The animals. Yeah. But I started in Perth because they were like, get Perth out of the way. Go see the coacas, which are not like coacas are like an island away. Did you visit the Kwakas like as a kid? I never went to Rottnest Island. It's crazy. It's one of those things. It's where they say that's the little rat like

animal and they're bouncing. Do you see me? I put a picture of it. They look like they're smiling and you go there and everyone's like, you got to see the Quokkas and they're cute. It's about five minutes of cuteness. You dance with them a little bit. I kept wanting to touch them. They said, don't touch them. But I would let them touch me. And then an Australian came by and said, Mike, those are wild. Don't touch it. And I was like, oh, God, am I going to get rapies? Oh, they just look cute.

What could they do if they'd hurt you? I'm sure they bite. I'm sure they probably do. Bye. I don't know. But we found something if I started dancing, they would go on their hind legs. Yes. That at another five minutes of that. Can I tell you, we took that the boat to Perth and they gave us popsicles on the boat. We were like, oh, popsicles. You mean the boat to Rottnest Island, to Rottnest Island.

And then after five minutes, Tova and I got seasick in a way that I don't think I've ever been in my entire life. And they were prepared. They immediately came out. They had wet compresses for us to put on our foreheads. And it was maybe the worst 30 minutes of my entire life. I don't know. It was just a bumpy ride.

But clearly, this happens sometimes to people. And it was fun. People don't really like Perth because it's so isolated and it's about as far away as Perth is as close to Adelaide, which is its nearest major city, is the same distance as London is from Moscow. That's how far away that Perth is from its nearest. It's actually closer to Jakarta.

Wow. Okay. In closer to Jakarta. Wow. In Indonesia, I believe. So you fly or you would drive to other places? It would take a long time. Oh, it takes like, I would say a day, day and a half to travel from Perth to the rest of the- Anywhere. Yeah, to anywhere essentially.

Oh my God. That's why people just fly. Yeah. So you. That's why people just fly. So you're, you're finally here, but you're, you're, you're a boyfriend, a fiance, fiance and like, like fiance or like you're gay. Oh, shut up. So you told me he currently is, there's one news channel in New Zealand, right? Yes. What's it called?

It's called One News and it's in an organization called TVNZ, TVNZ if you're American. So one news channel for the whole country. That's it there. Yeah. One News. And it's called One News. One News. And they have one, if I remember correctly, one American correspondent, one person in America, and it's his fiancee.

Wow. Reporting for all of America to all of New Zealand. So we have a direct line to get news to New Zealand. Sure. About America. news to New Zealand. Sure. About America. I it's it's just hard to fathom

with as polarized as news is today. Yeah. A country having one news station. So there was another one until very recently. There was a news station called News Hub and or three news because on Channel 3.

But I'm very sadly advertising revenue has been at an all time low because of inflation and it's gotten worse and worse and worse. And they had to basically close the whole thing down and 300 people lost their jobs. It was very, very sad. And my fiance was very scared at the time that it might, the same thing might happen to him. Wait, what would the news be in New Zealand?

So we do have other news, like other sources of news. We have stuff news, we have the New Zealand Herald, but these are all like websites. One news, there's no competition, unfortunately, because they're the only TV, TV news channel, TV news station. But there are other sources of news. There's New Zealand Herald, there's stuff, there's RNZ for Radio New Zealand. What do we do worse off if we got rid of all the video news? If you had to read, if you had to read to get the news, don't you think it might make things a little better? I have no idea. Well, thanks for playing along with the theoretical game.

I don't know, because I think people, you know, who know in this with all the social media, do you think people would start reading more? I don't know. I don't know. But it's got it's so it's like I don't even know what your do. They just tell your fiance what to focus on. That's so much to cover. Like what is it mostly about just the presidential election at this point?

He's just running around everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, he had a very, very big July and he worked, I think, for about three weeks straight, no breaks. And that was, you know, it was the week of the first assassination attempt. And then a week later, Biden dropping out. And then a week later, Kamala stepping up.

And so it was that like, that was a really, really tough few weeks for him. But no, he loves it. No, but if he's doing like, so he's doing these big stories, does he, is he, because if it's all of America, is he also like being like, like giving a rundown and then being like also Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey started dating. Like, is he, he doesn't really like talking about celebrity news. Okay. But I'm still like, I was going to say people, you know, that is, is he good at turning out being like pretending to care? Like,

and Travis Kelsey made his TV debut on American Horror Story. I say that, but he does, he does actually does actually love reporting. When I was last here in, no, no, no, it was the second last time I was here, which was in January, the Golden Globes happened and he put on his little sparkly blazer jacket and it was just like, I'm reporting live. But he didn't go to LA, he just did it here. But no, he does love doing that and stuff. But no, the live crosses so that when he's live when he's, you know, live from New York, it's TVNZ one news. Um, when he's reporting live, he is reporting live at 2am in the morning. Oh, brutal. Which is 6pm news time. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you, are you here now or are you going back? No, I'm going back. I'm moving here hopefully in January. Have you had to deal with his hours yet? Like are you guys able to... We're actually okay because for the first few days I was like jet lagged. So I was staying up that late anyway. So I was staying up and you know, he was like, do you want to come with me? And he does them just outside now because we're based in New Jersey. So we've moved. Are you helping with the lighting now? Are you checking the sound? Yeah. I'm his little bodyguard. There's no one around though,

at that time. And yes, there was when we were living in Manhattan, lots of people around. You have to be out in the street or like in the street. Oh, wow. Sometimes, sometimes out in the street, sometimes at home in the comfort of your, is the street just to give the impression of like, I'm here on the ground. There's it's, it's could have happened right there. Like it's just the visual of it all. Yeah. If you were to walk around New Zealand, people go like, oh my God, it's, it's the one person in America we have. Yeah, it does happen. It happens here as well. Really? Yeah, from other Kiwis, from other New Zealanders.

Yeah, sure. That come in. Who's recognized more, you or him? I would say I'm more recognized in the States, and he's more recognized in New Zealand. OK, OK. Very diplomatic answer. So how did you view, are you excited to come here?

Have you always wanted to come to America? Do you have any, any, ugh, America? I've always really loved this city. I've not really been a huge fan of LA. Why? I shouldn't say that because I've never, I've never- No, listen, we talk shit about LA. I was just in LA, I could talk shit about LA all day.

Look, no, what I'm saying is I don't really, I shouldn't say anything because I've never been. You know it exclusively from your, from your reporting in New York. Well, no, he's been to LA. So many of my friends have been to LA and people from New Zealand have been to LA and a lot of, you know, they just complain about the traffic. But then I'm told, this is what I was told by somebody yesterday, that actually the more that you go to LA, the more often you go each time you go back, you like it a little bit more. Apparently, I don't know. There's just some hollowness.

It's hard to tell. I can't tell if I'm like biased against it. Yeah. But like I go to the comedy clubs there and you'll be in a room with like and everyone's like a TV star, a movie star. Sometimes the conversations feel so businessy that you go like we've lost our souls. We're not talking about art anymore. We're just talking about who's got the part in a happy Gilmore too. And it's not us. And I auditioned with an accent with an accent. Yeah. They said do an accent. I did my Italian. Oh, really? Yeah. That's right. It was the

kind of Italian accent that would get me in trouble. Still. It was so strong. Oh, really? Yeah. It was the kind of Italian accent that would get me in trouble still. It was so strong. Oh, wow. Okay. You're good at accents, though. I've seen your voices. You're a... I do know what's funny is that I still can't do the New Zealand accent. I you guys. What's happening? What are you doing right now? What is this? This is just my voice. But like, what are you doing right now?

In my head, it sounds, it sounds like a New Zealander sometimes. Maybe it doesn't sound Australian. Doesn't say that. It sounds like it's related to Australian. No, there's none of that. There's none of that. So let me, okay. I, cause I lived in Australia for three years. So there's something that I need to say about you guys, Americans, you guys make fun of the whole gnar. Oh, I don't hate it. You are so close because everyone always gets it wrong. It is not gnar. It's no. No, no, no. So it's like you're saying gnar and then no at the same time. No, no, no, no. You're so bad at it. We're really bad at it. Sorry, we're bad at saying no incorrectly. It is, it is shocking though.

It is. So, okay. So, so you could do it Australian. Can you, can you click in? Yeah. Like, so for example, for example, I'd be living in Sydney, but I didn't live in Sydney at the time.

I lived in Perth, which is on the other side. You lived in Perth on the other side? On the Western side. Bloody hell mate.th on the other side on the Western side. I really can't do it at all. Try it. I, I, John Mark, when I tell you I've tried it, I can not do it at all. You can go real Ocker like, uh, like real, like, you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Crikey might cry. Yeah. Nobody says crikey though. But then again, that's a very particular

like generation. Like, yeah, yeah. I remember the day he died. Do you know? I remember the day he died. He wasn't a big part of my life either, but I'm just saying. Oh, it was big. Okay. I remember someone announced it in class. Like it was like, really? They walked in, they go, Steve, I wouldn't die. I remember them and all of us were like, oh, and they're like, then they, they told us the story happening in school. Right.

Yeah. The stingray. Didn't they kill the stingray too? That's a little crazy. You know what was fucked up? What? The fact that after he died, there was reports of stingrays being like killed, captured and killed across all of Australia.

He would hate that. Yeah, but like that's how... I don't know. After that, who knows? He might've had a change of heart. Because you must understand that Steve Irwin was a national treasure. He was. He was a sweet soul. He was, he was a really, yeah. I think his kids are still doing stuff. Oh, Robert, sorry. So that was well out. Robert Irwin, who is, um, his son is like, is he's the new Steve Irwin. He's taken after his father. He has become like, he's, I think he works at the Australian zoo. I don't know. He works at some zoo or some wildlife center and he's

doing what his dad did. It's so sweet. Did you care about Steve Irwin when you were young? Yeah. I mean, I was very young when he died. I think I was only about 10 or 11 when he died, but But he's Australian. Yes, he's Australian. So talk to me about this dynamic because I like, I can't tell if you guys are like, you're like, fuck Australians or whether like you're like, if a war broke out, you'd be like, this

is our brother. Like, are you close? There is a rivalry, but we're brothers and sisters, but there's, it's like sibling rivalry. Uh huh. Yeah. But you, but both countries, they really, do they start independent of each other? I watched the whole documentary on Australia leading up to it. They were two completely different countries. They've never been together. No, they've never been together. No, we've never, we've been just Commonwealth. So we like, we have the same Monarch.

We have the same King, not Queen anymore, but we have the same King. Yeah. As England. Yeah. Yeah. So let's just say Canada is a, is a Commonwealth, right? Yeah. You know that?

Yeah. It's on their money. Yeah. No, I knew that. Yeah. So it's same, same Canada, Australia, New Zealand, a whole bunch of other countries. We all have the, the king, the king. But did New Zealand start the same way where it was like, like the British came and they were shitty? Yes. It was, I don't know if it was Abel, Abel Tasman, I think when discovered New Zealand went around it. And then I think it was someone called James Cook. Yes, James Cook. I remember.

Who was the first one to... But this goes back into all of the colonization stuff. How do you feel about having a king or like the royal family? Like having a monarch? When the queen died, who were you more sad? The king, Steve Irwin or the queen? That's a really tricky question. Not for me. Not for me. Um, I, but then I wouldn't even say that like the monarchy is, is that big of a thing for most New Zealanders, if you would just approach them on the street like the, you know, the queen died very, very sad, but it's nothing compared to what it was like in the UK. I just think it's such an interesting thing because you're like, she doesn't live here. Like, like, it's like a crazy, I think as an American, it's a crazy thing to like, I

think monarchy it's for us. It's so foreign. Like it's weird to me that Americans are obsessed with the royal family in my mind. That's crazy. Sure. But we have our own versions of the thing. No, we do too. I'm just saying like, it would really be crazy to me if I was living in New

Zealand and like that Queen is somewhere else. She doesn't even live in this place. Sure. You know, it doesn't it doesn't comprehend for me. Yeah. But that's us. That's us. We hate it all. We hate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that's true. But yeah. So OK, so you're coming here, you're you're going to pursue because it just what's the furthest you could get? Could you possibly make a living as an actor in New Zealand? And what would that look like? Is there a TV show? Is there a sitcom there?

Yeah, there's a Shortland Street. Shortland Street. Yeah, that is the that is that is the New Zealand's version of The Bold and the Beautiful. Or a general hospital, because it's set in a hospital. Have you auditioned for it? No. Oh, actually, no, I have. You have?

Yeah, I did a video audition with my cousin. No, my cousin, no, he didn't get it. No, he's been on it. Yes. Okay. Yeah. So several actors in New Zealand have been on Shortland Street, I think at least twice or three times. Sure. We do that sometimes here at law and order. If you've been, if it's been going on long enough, they'll bring it back. Yeah. Yeah. Like, but like as a different act, like as a different character is what happens in shortland street. 32 seasons. Yeah.

But now, yeah, now that I think they've switched to doing it like three times a week now. So not every week. They didn't want to get you after the Paloma diamond stuff. They didn't say this will be fun. I love to be, you know, Paloma as like an orthopedic surgeon or something. But now they, um, they have other plans. Um, did you, so, but that's like, that's the height. That's the height of New Zealand. Yeah. Is there a theater scene or, oh yeah, I saw a show there. Yeah. I saw a play about global. I met like, I met like, um, like to the equivalent of like the West end or something, like Broadway, you know, like that level of like, no, nothing, nothing like the level of Broadway,

West end. No, but we've got a lot of great community theater and there's definitely a, because I studied for my masters, I studied, I think it was theater creative practice and we, that was very much, the whole program was very much immersed in the theater scene in Wellington of New Zealand. Yeah. I think what's interesting about like Paloma Diamond or just a lot of the videos you make is that it feels like it captures

what I would consider American culture. I mean, award show, like it was Oscar culture. And you have to like, I mean, do you just feel like, do you feel like you got to, you just spent so much time taking in American media that you understood like, like what was weird or amusing about it? Or do you think because you're not American that you got to see it from a different angle that maybe we didn't fully see it in being immersed

in it? Like, it's just so interesting that that's the thing that you parody. Well, when I was growing up in Hong Kong, they, they played it on TV, like on the local TV station. And I think it was like for my, when I was there, I don't know, I think it was in January. So we were still off school because it's an early January. So we're still off school. So we got to see it in, oh wait, no, that's the Golden Globes. I'm getting confused. It's all this, it all blends together.

But you know, like for example, for the Golden Globes, that was done in, that's the Golden Globes. I'm getting confused. It's all this. It all blends together. But you know, like, for example, for the Golden Globes, that was done in... That's always done in early January. So I was always home alone. My parents were at work. And in Hong Kong, they would play it live, which would not be at night. It would be in the morning. So I'd flick on TV and the award show would be in the morning. And, you know, and then I also was a big fan of like the Oscars.

I didn't really sit through most of the Oscar shows, although I did sit through the last one, but I don't know. I just, I always, I find it fascinating cause I think everyone kind of tunes in, not a lot of, not everyone, but a lot of people really tune in for it. And it's- No, it's still a big cultural moment,

even though it's faded. And even though like the ho it's been rough the last couple, I don't know. It feels like the hosts wise, they haven't figured out quite who's the right host. I'm excited to see Nikki Glaser do it. I wish John Mulaney would do it. I did not like the Golden Globes. I did not like the Emmy and Nikki Glaser. I think she's doing the the Golden Globes. What's Nikki Glaser? I did not like the Emmy. Nikki Glaser, I think she's doing the next Golden Globes.

I just saw that. I think Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds are hosting the Oscars. You got to get a comedian. I really loved like old school when they did it three years in a row. Amy Poehler and Tina Fey. Old school. I love them. That's old school.

No, because they did it. They did it again. No, I know. They're great. I like the first three years when they did it. It was so funny. For me, but that's it's so rare. They both did weekend updates. So like they definitely did like stand up stuff. They were excellent. Yes. But in general, it's like where they got who, who were the two guys from the Canadians for the last one for the Emmys. Oh God. Eugene Levy? Eugene, Eugene Levy and his son. Dan Levy.

Dan Levy. I'm like, for me, it's bad. It's bad. They're just not comics. So they had like, their jokes were not up to snuff. How bad was the last Golden Globes one though? The Joe Coy one? I mean, disaster.

That one was really bad. And it makes, I think it's so frustrating because it so frustrating because it makes stand up comedians look bad. And it's just like, if you got Mulaney, it would be a fucking, it's got to tune in. And he, it's not just like their abilities, but I also think if you're a stand up comic for that long, they know what writers to lean on. They have their own crew. I promise when John Mulaney goes to write something, he's got 10 of the best fucking comics

in that writer's room. So it's lost the magic for me. I liked Billy Crystal back in the day, Chris Rock, he was great. But now they get a lot of the late night hosts too. They get like a Jimmy Kimmel. And Jimmy Kimmel is just doing what he does on late night every night.

It's not special. Do you remember like when you were younger being fascinated by any of the actresses or like who did you, who did you stand over? I feel because I feel like all these, all these characters that you do, they're, they're such a capturing of like an actress and, and the, the just they're different just their different ways that they present themselves at award shows. I think definitely what was an inspiration was everyone, particularly for the Oscars, because it's the big one, you know, it's the big Hollywood one and it's always at the very end of award season. I was really fascinated by these people, like the public that always go, oh, they deserve it.

They need to win this time. Yeah, that's a like for a long time. I think it was Leo DiCaprio. Sure. Everyone was like, he deserves it. He deserves it. Give it to him this time. And a lot of I think Glenn Close is a big inspiration for Paloma because close hasn't won one yet.

I don't believe she has. But a lot of people are like, Did she not win for... Did she win a supporting? I thought you... I don't know. I do think it's frustrating where it's like... Glenn Close winning an Oscar though?

I do think it's frustrating when people win, at least for the Emmys, where like a comedy will get it seven years in a row and you just go like, well, it's no fun. I think you should be able to win once for a role and that's all you get for that role. You don't need five. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That string of like, of like all those years that out Baldwin won for best actor in 30 rock and he's excellent, but it just never won. And you're like, it's crazy. And it just becomes, it's so trendy. Everyone always gets mad at the award shows.

And then you're like, well, ask who the governing body is. And it's like the most fucked up weird system of random. So when people get upset about award shows, I just go, it's your job to not care. For you to care once every year and you're not dealing with the governing, it's never going to not care for you to care at once every year and you're not dealing with the governing. It's never going to be what you want it to be. I did Paloma for a while. Like I had this whole thing that, you know, she'd been nominated for an Oscar, you know, 18 times, but she'd never won. Um, and I thought I'm, so I made

that up because I thought 18 was such a, like, you know, crazy number, such a crazy number until my American friend is just like, Oh, she's Susan Lucci. And I was like, who's that? No, I didn't know who that was. Cause I don't watch daytime soaps. Apparently there's this thing called the daytime Emmys. And I was like, Oh wait, I've got to do some research. It is the best video in the world. What is it? Go to YouTube and type in Susan Lucci Emmy like finally. She was nominated. She was nominated for an Emmy Award 18 times for like best actress or something. And she won on her 19th time and it is like everyone. Oh no no no. Thanks for that one. Yeah. Let's see it. It is. It's, it's my favorite. The outstanding diva is the streak is over. Susan.

Like everyone was rooting for her. rooting for her. And when Paloma wins, it's gonna be like that. Susan Lucci originated the role of Erica Kane on the show. She'll ever win. The show premiered in 1970. This is her first win in 19 nominations. Everyone's crying, everyone's like, oh, you deserve it!

And she's just standing there going, oh my god, it's amazing! It's gotta be tough if you're a mother and I've so thought you deserved it that year. Thank you! Okay, I think you should like in the can do one of Ploma Diamond winning and if you ever die, then it's released. Oh god, that's so morbid. That really is a good idea though, drummer. Didn't Mr. Beast do that recently where it like, I saw him puberty or whatever. No, no, didn't he have this thing where he's like, he's like, he has all of these videos that if he dies early, they will get released. Oh, like musicians, like, uh, you know, yeah. Um,

okay. So let's, I want to try something. So I want, when you, when you are nominated for something someday, I want you to do, I'm going to say, you know, that you didn't win. And I want to know like, what, what is your, what is your face as I say the, as they say your name, you know, the camera's coming to you and then what you say when you lose and did you just be what you would do normally? Like, what do you think you're going to say it you just be what you would do normally? What do you think you're gonna- Who do I have to say it to? No, you don't have to say anything, but the camera's gonna be on you. What kind of attitude do you show?

Okay, so first, and the nominees for best Josh Gad understudy, Russell Daniels for Gutenberg. Oh, he's doing that. He's doing the fist bump. Oh, God. That's very like generational. That's like usually guys in their 50s and and sixties. They're like, yeah. Okay. And, uh, I, Oh God, what else? And, uh, uh, the winner for best understudy for Josh Gad, uh, Steven, uh, uh, Stephen Badamuchi for Book of Mormon.

OK, just like a fun, you know, like, eh, fuck it, you know, who cares? You know, you could rip the thing. You could rip your speech. You know, you could. OK, I just roll my eye. Yeah. OK, so I want more people to play into it. Do you know what I mean? Like, like, like in real life, I think it'd be fun for people to like, Oh, to be a bit, to do like a bit, like when you lose,

you know, sometimes, but it's, it's a delicate bit. If you go too far, you know, I already, let me try it. Like I want to do, I want to for real. Okay. All right. So go Russell. Um, best stand up comedian, John Marco Sarese. Oh, that is real. Okay. Okay. That's good. Okay. Can you do what your real one would be? Like Paloma? No, you. No, me. You. I want to know you. Okay. I'll just probably do what everybody else does. All right. I'll do it. The nominees for best man impersonating woman on, on Tik Tok. Julian Sewell. Wait, is this the nominee? Is the nomination? The best man playing a woman on Tik Tok nominee is Julian Sewell. Okay, and the winner for best man playing a woman on Tik Tok tock from Australia. Nick white. Oh, okay. Okay.

Yeah. Well, none of us chose gratitude. Not a single one of us. Well, I felt like mine were outrageous enough where it's like, okay, you just embrace the bit of like, you know, sure. Um, yeah, I mean, there is this thing, most people I think do a performance bit of like, you know, sure. Um, I, yeah, I mean, there is this thing. Most people I think do a performance and being like, like that they're excited for the other thing. And I never like, you're not excited. I think it's really rude to put the camera on somebody after they've lost an award. I think it's really rude.

Just go to the one person who won. We don't need to see anyone else's faces. You know? Yeah. Apparently there was one actress, I don't know who it was who did give a little bit of like a, a little, a little bit of an eye raise and eyebrow raise. I don't know who it was, but somebody did do that. And I was just like, Ooh, I would think it'd be funny if you like, we're like, what? Like you got really angry, you know? Yeah. Again. But I don't know. I probably would do nothing. I

wouldn't be there. I'd send a Native American like what's his name? Native American to lose on your behalf. Oh yeah. I guess he was a Shane little federal thing. You know, you're going to lose, but you do the, Oh, what's his name? Marlon Brando, Marlon Brand though. Oh, it's his name Marlon Brando Marlon Brando. Oh My god, so I need to have to lose But didn't he win though It's just the reverse Marlon Brando. Oh, man. I'm pretty sure when he did it, first of all, I'm pretty sure when he did it, it was like, as all things, like people were like, that's inappropriate.

And like you look back and you're like, yeah, that's good. Yeah. I feel sorry for the Native American that went up because everyone was booing her. Sure. Sure. But like, I don't know, Ricky Gervais, I think people love Ricky Gervais. And I also think he was an interesting host. And he kind of just said, he's like, I'm sick of rich. No one wants to hear your rich people tell us political takes. But I

also go like, when the award, that's what they get to do. They get to do a minute of whatever the fuck they want to. That's what they get. That's what they get. I understood a lot of his, I understood a lot of his anger at like the hypocrisy of things of like being like on certain shows for certain corporations or things. And then they're going to tell us about like what, you know what I mean? But especially when you're like, it's so rare that someone is, has a lot of integrity and it's, you know, not saying that he does. And obviously like he's a different person now. Um, but, uh, or, you know,

yeah, I just go, I think with, with him, I go, well, you're fucking rich too. Exactly. You're fucking rich too. So let's calm down with the judgment. Yeah. Like, yeah, you don't care about anyone's social cause of when it comes to animals. Suddenly you're a big fun at first and then like by like the third time you're like, okay, you're not going to top yourself up being mean. There's a degree of like, I hate the Golden Globes. This is my fifth year here. I didn't have to be here at all. He's burning. I hate this whole shit.

Dream host. Who's your dream host other than Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, which I would love to see again. Who's a comedian you'd love. You'd love to see host. I don't know. I'd like to see Wanda Sykes. Wanda Sykes would be great. Yeah. She'd be great. Unfortunately, I think ever since Kevin Hart got like, this was a different time, but Kevin Hart got like big, he was going to host the Oscars. He got, they found an old joke where

he said if I had a gay son, I would blow him into a thousand pieces. And so they got mad at him. And now everyone who's famous goes, I don't want to do the award show circuit because people are just going to get mad at me. Like it lost the joy or the honor of it. I think that's why Malaney didn't do it. One, it's nice to be phenomenal. I think you would be a good host. That's very sweet. Yeah.

Listen. On the 10 year anniversary of the slap, Will Smith and Chris Rock should do it together. See, that would make me not want to do it. Yeah. You know, like being like, yeah, I don't know. I would have like, yeah, I mean, I'm not a standup comic, but I'd be like, no, but what if something really like you get assaulted like that again? I would be a bit like, listen, it would, it would, if, if I could hire Will Smith to show up to a show and slap me, I'd do it.

It'd be the best thing to ever, I think that's the only way I'm ever gonna host the Oscars is if Will Smith slaps me at like a Looney bin in Oklahoma City and I make a clip out of it. It would be amazing. Will Smith just went to one random comedy club. Just went to one random comedy club and then they did crowd work with him.

Oh man. Let's go on to our next segment. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Russell, you got something needs to stop. I got to pull it up though. Oh, Julian, do you have this got to stop? Oh yeah. I got one. Okay. It's not amazing, but I'll just do it. I'll say it. I haven't put much thought into it. Okay. So I was playing, um, I was playing pool, which I didn't realize was big in America. I didn't think that like playing pool was a big thing over here. Cause it's huge in Australia. Oh, is it? Oh, big, really big in Australia. Like we had one when I was living in Australia, we had one in the living room. Okay. I don't know if it's big,

big here, but it's, it's plenty of people with basements. When I was growing up, that was like a thing, the cool kids in their basement, they had a pool table. Yeah, it's it's thing. So there's a, this always happens. This always happens. We're playing in a group of people and I go first and I'm not the best pool player. And then the next person to go from the opposite team does this, I'm just gonna break it up a little bit more.

I'm just gonna break it up a little bit more. I'm just, I'm gonna break it up. I'm gonna break it up a bit more. That pisses me off. Like I get it, you're better than me. That is true. But that happens so many times. It's every single time I play pool,

somebody, the opposite team is like, you know, after a few rounds, I'm just gonna break it up a little bit more. Fuck off. Fuck off. Wow. How, I guess the one piece of information we're missing here is just how bad you are.

Because when it happens once, I go, that's rude. That's rude. And then you say multiple times, I go, I mean. I'm picturing the ball barely rolling up to break the thing and just lightly knocking it. And so it's just all. I picture where, I picture somehow you go under and it stacks on top of each other, like a building.

And they go, I'm gonna break it up a little bit more. I'm gonna break it up a little bit more. Did you, are you, do you think you're bad, bad or just like by New Zealand standards bad, you might be like American fine. I'm pretty bad. Yeah. I'm not great. I'm not great though. That being said, I did win the last game that I played.

So, but no, it all like in comparison to people that like probably play it like every weekend. Yeah. Oh God. No, I'm terrible. Are you good? Really bad at playing pool. It's just incredible how bad I am at all. Did anyone play pool when we were in, um, we were, when we were doing shrooms and yeah, we had a pool table there, right? Uh, yeah. I remember you playing a game one time.

I was lying on it for quite a while. It feels fun to lie on a pool table. I don't like when a pool table is in a house. Really? Why? I don't know. I always am like, I would never use it for this in my head. Well, I'd rather play pool than a foosball table.

That was a thing that you would not have any games of in my middle of the room. But no, I like the slider on the sand. We slide. That's a fun one. Yeah, I do like that actually. Okay. My, this is got to stop is on social media when someone does a post that's like better late than never.

And it's like National Daughter Day two days after it. And they're sharing it. And you're like, no, you don't get to do it better late than ever. You missed it. You missed your daughter this year. You have to wait a full calendar year to do it again. It's just because they're not real holidays. It's when you're like better late than ever. And it's national Sunday or national daughter day or national dog day. No, you've missed it.

You've missed it. You just can't two days later, get us to, to want to contribute with that and listen to it or look at it. So, um, you know, make it up to your daughter next year with a better post. But is there a national pet day? Like, how many of these are there? They have them all the time. And I feel like it's the other day was national single people's day. Yeah. And so any of these fake ones, I'm saying, even the real ones, even like if you're like better late than ever and you miss Christmas or something, no, you missed it.

Do not come on there two days later and try to, to, to engage and to, to share. Now this is obviously more of an issue on like Instagram or Facebook, but like, um, it's just, no anyways, better late than ever. Better late than ever. You missed it. Um, my, this has got to stop. I, I go vintage shopping these days when I go on my weekends on the road. Vintage stores, you need to comb through your shirts. Disney is not vintage. There's so many Mickey Mouse shirts. There's so many Disney shirts. There's so many.

I go Disney is not like alt. Having a Mickey Mouse shirt is not alt. This company is gigantic. It's powerful. It's not cool. What if it was like something like like from like like a 1950s like Minnie Mouse mug or something like that's pretty vintage. I know. But it's but Disney is Disney has corrupted

and for their own financial benefit, their own image. I see Mickey Mouse years. I can't think of Steamboat Willie anymore. I think about the woman who died because the Disney restaurant didn't follow the allergy list and then said, you can't sue us because you signed the agreement for the Disney plus channel. I see a corporate monster. What if it's a bad person buying it though?

Like they're a monster themselves. And so by wearing it, they're like, yeah, I'm bad. And so is Disney. To me, to me, it's, it's like, it's like wearing to have a Mickey Mouse shirt. It's like wearing Exxon Mobil. It just is a conglomeration. Uh, it's, it's like wearing an American flag. It's like wearing Apple. It'd be like wearing Apple. That's not a, that's not a cool, that's a powerful brand that you are now doing free PR for. It's not cool. Okay. That's a powerful brand that you are now doing free PR for. It's not cool. Mickey Mouse to me is representative of capitalism at its worst stores or you or you Disney's

got to stop just Disney in general. I think vintage. I think per your point, like there was a time where it was like kind of own adult wearing a cartoon on it. Sure. Now you're, you're just, you're stepping up for the man. This is a gross fucking company that I hope to have a show on someday. And you can't be selling it at vintage stores.

It's too much. And you go to these vintage stores and there's like, there's 30, 30 shirts from Disney. Because why? Because the corporation pumped out so many goddamn shirts to maximize their brand potential so they can make all the money they can. Enough, enough.

Show me a shirt from a theme park that got shut down, a cartoon that ended. It's not cool. I got a Power Rangers shirt recently, and it was like this fine line where I was like, I don't know, is this overdone? Is this like, is this field niche enough that it's okay? And Disney is over the line for me.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. That's fair. Same with Dragon Ball Z. I love Dragon Ball Z, but it's very quickly going over the line for me. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know. That's fair. Same with Dragon Ball Z. I love Dragon Ball Z, but it's very quickly going over the line. It's not cool anymore. Not cool anymore.

Let's go on to our final segment. You better count your blessing. You better count your blessing. I'll go first. My blessing, I did a crowd work clip with some, some furries who are in an audience of a show of mine. And, um, uh, some furries. What is that? Um, it's, uh, it's, it's people who put on a, a outfit of, uh, of an animal and they have an identity as that animal and they have a full outfit.

There we go, furries. You've seen, you've seen. You've never seen? There's no furries in New Zealand? I mean, there probably is, I just don't know. That to me- You just thought it was a wild kangaroo. See, that to me reminds me of a Disneyland theme park.

Like I don't know. I've never, like a party, what is it? A party is at a convention? What is that? It can be a convention. It can be an identity. I think it could be a lot of different things to different people. For some people, they'll have sexual relations in the outfit.

No way. That is something I've never heard of before. Yeah. Pull up xvideos.com. Don't. It was a joke. Oh, sure. So I just, there happened to be four at a show. And I, we talked, I learned a little bit more. And apparently the outfits are quite expensive. But someone in Australia, I think, or New Zealand, I think Australia,

offered to make me a full furry outfit. And they're going to do it. As what kind of animal? Well we discussed it. I thought about it a lot. I texted with Tova and I said what animal should I be? I think a cat and she said please we live in a one bedroom apartment. Don't get this. And I said I think a cat. And hang it on the wall. I'm gonna hang it. I'm gonna hang it on the wall here. Maybe I'll maybe I'll do all my episodes and We'll see if it bumps up the numbers. We'll get you one too. What animal would you be?

Oh, any animal? But it has to have fur. No, they're dragons. Could you imagine doing like a snake? Well, I was going to say turtle. But then I was like, can that be furry though? Sure. Why not? I think they could do a turtle with hair. Maybe, you know, a turtle. The shell is going

to cost like 20 grand. We'll get it done. But that's so cool. They get a full, it's to get a full. I mean, listen, I'll, you know, I'll do a whole show in it. It's hot though. Yeah, it's hot. Well, I'll see what I believe. If I got you a costume too for a Patreon episode, would you fuck me in it? No, I would rather you send me that money. That's not how gifts work, by the way. If I'm like, I'm going to be a cat, you're going to be a turtle. I think cat fucks turtle, you know, like rock, paper, scissors. Cat fucks a turtle.

A turtle would definitely fuck a cat, I think. Don't you think? fucks a turtle. A turtle would definitely fuck a cat, I think. Don't you think? It would take forever. It's going to be very difficult no matter what way it plays out. A little turtle's like, he's slow in all ways but one. What's your blessing? Oh, my blessing is our friend of the pod and my friend in real life and your friend in real life and your friend in real life. Uh, Jackie, she wrote a, a, a nice, a beautiful little short film and I, I got to go and film

it yesterday and it was, I had so much fun and it was a really nice day and it was just me and one other actor and was this young actors. It was her first ever like thing and she was great. It was like, it was a really lovely little Like a kid kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah so, yeah, it was just really nice to do and and and It was fun to act in a in a thing and we do good work. You feel proud. I hope so I mean I felt good about it. You never know Any accents? No accents. No, just one.

Not Australian? No, no, no, no. I'm going to cast. No. That was good. That was better. That was the best one that you've done. Russell's better at these things.

I think that if you're pressured into it, you're probably not as good when you just kind of off the cuff say it like that. Do you think, okay, so the White Lotus season uh, uh, white Lotus season four, you get cast as an Australian? No, I'm telling you, I, I, you'd say, no, you'd say, I have a call. It says they, can you do the Australian accent? You got, you got three days. I would give everything I had those three days, but I I've spent so much, not so much time, but anytime I hear it and I'm alone, I'll try to do it. And it's so bad.

It's really bad. I'm not an accent guy. I can really only do like English and kind of German and, you know, German, uh, a bit. Yeah. But not like, not great. Do you know what I mean? I'm not just not an accent guy. I hear you.

I wish I was. Me too. Do you have a blessing? I do. It's a really sweet one actually. For, I've been getting a lot of attention and really high engagement on my Instagram platform and I get a lot of really, really nice messages from like people from all over the world. And like one, like I get messages that are like, Hey, I was having a really, really shitty day.

And I just wanted to let you know that your videos brightened up my day. You know, just like little things like that. But then I got one a few weeks ago that was like, hey, hi, just wanted to let you know that I'm going through chemotherapy right now and your videos make me feel positive about my life or just, you know, like. Sure, sure. Which is really, really nice. And I'm just like, see, that makes me feel like I'm actually doing something with my life. You know, versus just being like a very unserious, silly person

that makes funny videos on your own. It actually makes me think, oh, well, that's worth living for. That's very nice. That's very sweet. Um, now, now where can people find you? So you can find me on a TikTok at Julian Sewell, J-U-L-I-A-N-S-E-W-E-L-L. That's Sewell, not Sewell. Not saying that you guys. And we'll put it in the description. And Instagram at Julian Sewell, just like the first half of my last name. So S E W I think because Julian Sue was taken. So it's just Julian Sue for Instagram.

Yeah, that's me. Russell, would you like to plug? Hey, everyone. This is Russell. Follow me at Russell J. Daniels on Instagram. And then also, if you're in the New York City area, Uncle Function has a sketch comedy show happening for New York Comedy

Fest of the New York Comedy Festival on Saturday, November 16th at UCB. Great. I will be in Indianapolis this weekend, November 14th through 16th and then D and then DC after that. Hopefully we've added shows by this point,

but go see me in DC, that's always one of the best weekends of the year. And again, join the Patreon, Patreon.com slash downside for two bonus episodes every month. Subscribe on Spotify, it's free. Leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. We are growing, please help us out. And since this is coming out of the election, let me just say to remember, you know, even Rome fell once and not everyone there died. They just

figured out something new and we're not all going to make it, but hopefully, hopefully a little bit is still funny when you have this come out. This is the downside. You're listening to the downside with John Marcos Serezi.