The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #28 Blacking Out with Maddy Smith

Episode Date: July 27, 2021

Maddy Smith shares the downsides of living close to the Colgan Air Flight 3407 crash, getting too high at the Wild ‘n Out wrap party, not getting into her college a capella group so she became the editor in chief of the school newspaper but they didn't appreciate her sense of humor, blacking out, Lexapro, NYC public restrooms, and I confront her about the time she told me to “quit comedy” after my first roast battle. If only I had listened. Watch full video of this episode HERE Join The Downside Patreon for TWO bonus episodes every month (AUDIO & VIDEO) without any awkward commercial breaks + the good feeling inside that you're helping keep this thing going. Follow MADDY SMITH on instagram, tiktok, twitter, & youtube Join MADDY SMITH's patreon Get tickets to MADDY SMITH's taping at Zanies Nashville 8/2+8/3 Visit MADDY SMITH's website Follow GIANMARCO SORESI on twitter, instagram, tiktok, & youtube Check out GIANMARCO SORESI's special 'Shelf Life' on amazon & on spotify Subscribe to GIANMARCO SORESI's mailchimp Follow RUSSELL DANIELS on twitter & instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

great we got this can we do a snap on three yes to the camera one two three all right so on the three everybody we can do this one two three great perfect wow i uh the the wild and out there your rhythm is getting really good it's really good it's like too good welcome to the downside my name is jim marcus erasium here with my co-host Russell Daniels bringing in some positive energy always and we are joined today by a stand-up comedian one of the stars of Wild

and Out, podcaster Maddie Smith. Welcome to the show. Hey everyone thanks for having me. I have a lot of downsides in my life so I'm really happy to be here. Excellent. You're listening to The Downside with Gianmarco Cerezi. Okay. Well, this is called The Downside. This is an interview show. I always do this too late. This is an interview show. We interview people, but we focus on the negatives.

We're tired of hearing how people's lives are going well there's this illusion that life is good and uh i think it makes people more sad frankly you should celebrate the negative which i view as a positive thing but that's that's i like that i like phrasing it that way so that's how i wrote out this pitch deck yeah a while ago now but i'm like we discover the downsides to all silver linings. A pitch deck for a podcast. That's a downside. What's going on here? But we are.

We are. I'm happy to see you, Russell. We had our sketch team had a show this past Friday. Yep. And you made a really dickish comment to me. I know. I really heard John Marco's feelings in our rehearsal.

Well, that's good to know you have feelings because sometimes I'm like, does he feel... That's... Wait, Maddie, wait. That brings up a good point because I think we all... John, Maddie, wait.

Shut up. No, no, no. That brings up a good point because John Marco, you are a very sensitive boy and not everyone knows that. And even those of us who know you can forget it and make a joke. Sure.

And you... Maddie hurt my feelings once. Did she really? And we're going to talk about that. How did I hurt your feelings? You don't remember this? No. I brought it up obnoxiously for a while.

Oh, okay. Oh, a fight club thing, right? Yeah, so Maddie was uh i still consider you the duchess of what was oh my god yeah so there was a show called fight club but there was a good show and oh no come on it's a little incel-y right well matt maron's gonna come after me for that but are you guys still buds? We're friends, yeah. But it's a little... Fuck. Oh, two minutes in.

Okay, anyway. I used to be... He's the boss you can make jokes about. Yeah, you can make jokes about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's the one talking about everything and their mother on Twitter. Yes.

So Comedy Fight Club, it's a roast battle show that when I first started stand-up comedy, i'm an actor coming into stand-up comedy i you know i do okay on shows because i can be loud enough in lieu of punch lines and then i go to comedy fight club okay and uh i go to comedy fight club and it's it's a very it was especially when i when i first went it was just cool it was like in a basement and it was it was grungy and there's there's uh what would you call them a panel what were you guys it was just cool. It was like in a basement and it was, it was grungy. And there's, there's a, what would you call them?

A panel? What were you guys? It was like a, yeah, panel. Like, you know, like in,

in wrestling, there's like personalities behind there. It's literally like wrestling. So it was like a Duchess. There's Chris Crespo. He had no arms. Okay. He had one of his,

he has the line. I think I told you. Oh, yes, yes. Before his first line would be like, don't worry. You know,

he'd take a very long time to get the mic out with his without his arms and then he would say don't worry guys i put my pants on just like you eight hours at a time and just one of those lines yeah i would have i would give up my arms for that kind of opener dude sometimes i think about cutting off my leg just for some acts you know just for some jokes what would what would you start with then you'd hop on stage it would take a while. I'd take the mic stand and be like, I found my other leg. I didn't think any further than cutting off the limb. I just said, hey, this could bring me some diversity.

Yes, that could help, I'm sure. So you were the Duchess of Comedy. Yeah. And you would do like two thirds through the show. You'd do like kind of a recap of the show. Okay. I mean, it was impressive because you would do like two thirds through the show. You do like kind of a recap of the show. Okay. I mean, it was impressive because you would write this monologue as the show was happening. Yeah. And I make fun of people and I'd be like, oh, John Marco versus Russell.

That looked like a blah, blah, blah. And everyone was like. Gotcha. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And I did very poorly. Okay.

Fight Club. I always talk. Russell, when I tell you, I don't even remember this. Yeah. That's how much I'm moving. You know? What? Do you remember who you were roasting? I was battling Caitlin Rupert.

So like this is new. This is like I always talk about roast battle because I feel like that's how I learned how to write jokes. Like in a very kind of intense way. But it was Caitlin Rupert and like both her parents were dead. So I was like, I was something about like, you know, her father killed himself not from heroin overdose because she was his daughter. It was a dark battle. But we were terrible.

We were both. We were both god awful. And you bomb so hard when you bomb. And when Maddie did her recap. And again, I'm new into stand up. I really love it. And I really want to do it someday. And Maddie just like,arcus Oresi quit comedy

and then moved on and for like a year I could hear Maddie's voice every time I did badly go quit comedy but now you're here and you're in Vulture that's true we were ran up in Vulture now I'm begging you on my hands and knees to be

on your podcast see this is redemption uh i will say every week i would say that to someone yeah i would say quick comedy to someone what what is is that like if a murderer is like listen by murdered someone the next week you weren't special now i feel even worse uh no you should feel good like it was just like a throwaway line to me it was more like i got nothing to say john marco quick comedy you know what i mean easy laugh yeah yeah i always forget that there's people who might be hurt by what i say well yeah i think those battles can be but they're it's a roast so i do feel like

you know you've already gone to dark dark places so saying to but i can see i think that her my face anthony passarelli again this is early so like you know totally bomb early you feel very overwhelmed oh i still do but anthony passarelli his line was like uh tooth he said jamarco was on cbs's blue bloods because they needed someone to make uh what's the actor which walberg donnie they needed someone to make donnie the actor? Which Wahlberg? Donnie Wahlberg. They needed someone to make Donnie Wahlberg look like a good actor. Oh my gosh. On my Facebook I had some religion listed

like some panentheism and he was like Jamarcus is a panentheist which means he's the only person in the world who believes in himself. Oh my gosh. And I remember like my eyes like stinging a little and if I cried in this environment. Game over. I'd be known as that guy for the rest of my life. It would be like an opening mon little and if you if i cried in this environment game over yeah i'd be known as that guy for the rest of my life it would be like an opening monologue and matt maron would be like

number rule rule number two no crying no one wants to be done that's how he talks that was a really good uh is it did anyone ever hurt your feelings early on you go in it's just like you you go in you're like what's your sensitive when i first started i was i was a little bigger and people would say you know maddie uh maddie's a laughing buddha host only for the snacks you know i'm like yeah and you don't realize you have certain flaws until people roast you and the whole audience laughs and you're like fuck i'm fat you know what i mean yeah you're like if everyone's agreeing and there's other stuff too like maddie laughs at her own jokes so no one else has to stuff like that where you're like if everyone's agreeing and there's other stuff too like Maddie laughs at her own jokes so no one else has to

stuff like that where you're like damn that hurt me to my core but then the further along you get the more you're like I don't know fuck it you see people say some crazy shit and then you also watch people kind of get upset during their roast battle and you're like I don't want to be that guy there was one I saw where someone was like

okay fuck you know and you're like well you don't want to look like that no and you remember at the end of the day it's like all fun and it's supposed to be all fun and you never want to be the guy who's like getting pissed off and riled up on stage no i had so did you were you then like for the next year every time you saw her were you were you outwardly weird or were you just like holding it in and meanwhile I'm like how are you like it's so good to see you fine I'm still in comedy by the way oh that's great

why wouldn't you be I don't remember anything I say yeah I did I man I did you were I think you were judging it I was I did a roast belt during the pandemic and I was home and I was going crazy we were all going crazy this was this was the midst of like, what is life?

That was like the midst of what is life. And we were doing a Zoom roast battle, which like, I can't even process everything that happened last year. And that was one of them that I totally forgot about. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, you know what?

I'm gonna do it from my bath. Fuck it. And I thought it was like a quirky artistic decision. And like the moment we turned on the zoom everyone's it wasn't like a jim barco what the fuck are you doing it was like what the fuck are you doing and i was like and i couldn't get out of the bath i couldn't be the guy who started in the back i got out of the back i would also like to let it be known that before the show even started there's the zoom like sound check and stuff like that so we're all just

sitting on zoom like hey how have you been and john marco's just in his bathtub yeah i thought oh this is cute i'm adding some flavor to this horrible medium and some people are like maybe he's gonna get around to it make some kind of joke out of it no you're that was just what you chose there's actually zero jokes about the bath yeah and then and then boris, I was battling Boris Hyken and he kept making jokes about me being a hack. Russell's in shock. And like that's, I don't like being called a hack.

Yeah. You don't like it. No one does. You look like I'm gay all day long. The jokes about your comedy, you're like, come on, that's really hurtful.

And this was all, all that. Yeah. And, and I made some joke about Richard Gere and I think Mike Cannon was like,

oh great Richard Gere reference from the 1980s and I was like, I'm the worst comedian. I ran those jokes by you when we were in New Hampshire. I'm so sorry. Do you was like, oh, great Richard Gere reference from the 1980s. And I was like, I'm the worst comedian. I ran those jokes by you when we were in New Hampshire. I'm so sorry. Do you remember like. Were you in the bath in New Hampshire or no? No, no, no.

See, it adds a different context. I was working on those jokes for weeks. I respect any sort of experimental stuff, in my opinion. If it flops, it flops. But, you know, like i was judging roast battle the other night and meno fernandez and dalton pruitt were very experimental and i was like i could never because i'm such a pussy i'm very like gotta stick to what i know uh-huh but when people like do crazy even on wild and out when people do like crazy experimental stuff even when it bombs you're

like i respect them yes for trying something new okay yeah let me ask you because i feel like you'd have a good perspective i know many what do you think about great roast comedians that can't seem to translate it to being good stand-up comedians it's hard but what's like i always look at them and i'm like oh just the way you're tackling this topic yeah just do it with a different thing and then like write them all out and then figure out how they can go in an order. If that was the case, then you would think really funny stand-ups should be able to do roasting. And it's always amazing. I mean, some. Yeah, totally.

It's just like a different art form. And some people can, I can kind of be good at everything if you just like put it in front of me and I focus for a day, you know, like packing and all sorts of stuff. But some people are just like, this is it. But they can't do that. Yeah. It's just one part of their brain. Roast, I mean,

I kind of stopped doing them. I got better than, than when I was told to quit my profession. Yeah. In front of people. But I, but I definitely,

profession, I mean, it's a lot of, it's, I work so much work. And then JP McDade, who, that was like the last match i really

invested in yeah uh he he was like yeah i wrote a couple new ones on the way here we'll see what they do and i was like what the fuck you you didn't run it by no 10 different people he's someone who's like always just like even before we did the roast battle tournament and right before he went on he was like let me think about Chris Crespo a little bit. And I'm like, what the fuck? And he's very, I would love to be someone like JP who's more relaxed, just excited to show off some jokes. Some of them flop.

Some of them are fire. But me, I'm like full three days before, just like churning out notes app, sending the Dave Cyrus like a fucking animal. JP is the one who, and he gave it to me where it was uh he said i look like before i tell a joke i whisper to myself at five six seven so good and then i use it on stage i figured out a way to use it on stage so good jp did two that's how good jp is that he had two jokes i was like hey can i can i yeah is this yeah you captured something about me that i've been trying to capture for years really good i would I would love to. And I tried to also do a Zoom roast battle.

And I thought, oh, I'll be relaxed. It'll be fun. I'll learn how to roast battle without going crazy. And I couldn't. It brought back too much trauma. Yeah. So I still can't even do roast without going full intense. Are you a mean person?

You're very sweet. I mean, you're very nice. What's funny is because I met you in Comedy Fight Club. And you, because you're, that's how I first Because I met you In comedy fight club And you Because you're That's how I first met you Of course Totally And it's this

Very harsh persona I think I'm very nice actually You are very nice Yeah But I just I think I just Form fit to wherever I am I'm like a fucking chameleon

I just got sucked up Into this fight club thing And I'm like Alright I'll do the mean I'm like really good At assignments Yeah That's pretty much it

They're like Oh you want me to roast I'll roast that's why when you first started doing Wild N Out it was just funny because it was like

the Duchess of Comedy and then you're there like in a full jumpsuit tracksuit thing totally rapping

I'm like listen I do whatever people ask me to that's why I like when people have these like sometimes people will be like, are you embarrassed

to be on that show? I'm like, bitch, I'm making money. Yeah. Fuck off. What are you talking about? People here are very like controlling about how they want their career to pan out. But I feel like if you just go with the flow and just be good wherever people ask you to be good, things unfold pretty well for you.

But if people are like, I don't want to be in that, I want to be in that club, not that club. Just be good where you are. Yeah. You're supposed to like, you're supposed to say like, I have everything I need. That whole like abundance, blah, blah, blah. And when you go with that, you can enjoy everything. Oh, this is a downside.

My apologies. John Marco's looking at me like the emoji with a straight line for a mouth. I'm like, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck. Wait, but so you, so what happened with Russell, we did this tech. We were doing a sketch uh we were the founding fathers i guess yes and so you know you're on a sketch team for six years together we all have two or three voices you can use in a sketch you're playing an old person you do your old man voice i'm on while i'm out i'm the white girl i fucking get it yeah yes so uh joe marco

was doing a character working on what, what is this going to be? And we just started, we're just getting up on our feet doing the sketch the day of the show. And at the same time, Jessica and I both, you were doing a voice that we had heard when you did Scrooge. And Frosty the Snowman. And Frosty, you've done those sketches a lot. And it's Daniel Day-Lewis Snowman and Frosty you've done that that those sketches a lot and Nathaniel Day-Lewis in Mozza Pizza I've had this voice for a while so you're doing it

and we at the same time said okay and then said insert the name of like I said Scrooge she said Frosty I think oh my gosh at the same time we didn't and we were just like it just happened at the same time and we both started and it was and it was mean but it was like

if one of us had done it maybe it wouldn't have been as mean but we both did it at the same time and the tectonic plates collided and you were very hurt

and then and then we were still doing the sketch we were like we were like oh we're sorry you know we did a quick apology

that didn't mean a lot I don't have a lot of voices my bad yeah and then and then so we're doing the sketch and then John Mark goes like, like he's like,

he's like not into doing the sketch and we're like, oh no, come on, get over it. We have to like, we don't time. And then I did a different character of mine than I did one of my other voices. I tried that one.

But yes, you did. That was funny. But the, I still felt bad about it later because I didn't realize in the moment you were as hurt as you were. Well, hold on. Okay, it's not like I didn't start crying

in the middle of the thing. You're sensitive. When you find sensitivities, it's like, I'm like, that's one of my shortcomings as a performer. I don't have a lot of voices. I can't do accents to save my life.

And I want to tell you, no one's thinking that. No one wanted it. It was just, it was only it was, it was a dumb thing that was just like, oh. Do you think people go to Will Ferrell every day and go, oh, Anchorman. Oh, Ron Burgundy. No, they go, Will, thank you for being here.

We're so glad. You're good at voices. No, I wouldn't say anything professional. Your Ariana Grande was great. That was fun, yeah. I've never been on a sketch team or anything't say anything professional. Your Ariana Grande was great. That was fun, yeah. But I don't think, I'm not on a, I've never been on a sketch team or anything and had like a professional,

like I've never submitted a character reel to SNL or anything. You're just a savant, we get it. But you, but even you sang in Wild N Out. I think it was with Wild N Out, you did things where it was like, oh, I didn't know Maddie could sing. Yeah, I guess, yeah, I guess. Were you always a singer?

I did chorus in high school, but I went to a really rich high school, so I was never the best of anything. So now, like I said, I'm like're right. Were you always a singer? I did chorus in high school. But I went to a really rich high school, so I was never the best of anything. So like I said, I'm mildly good at everything. You know what I mean? But I went to such wealthy places that I was never the best of the best. If I went to a small high school, I would have been like, fuck yeah. Yeah, that's what you got to do.

You got to go somewhere that humbles you. So then later in life. I know. People like me, we always are like, I will never reach the heights of being the star of my high school. Literally. It's always ingrained in you.

You know, the musical came out. I was like, oh, I guess I'm playing that lead this year. Yeah. So welcome to The Downside again. Please, if you like this, check out the Patreon. Downside.com slash,

oh my God, no. Patreon.com. It's Patreon.com slash oh my god no patreon.com it's patreon.com you get episodes early ad free and you get two bonus patreon episodes i think we're five people away from hitting our first goal first goal 25 people so just sign up it's it's only five dollars a month you get bonus and you support this thing uh going along you have a podcast i have a podcast yeah and it's well you have two but there's one with guests and it's only female guests i just have one you just have one yeah you have a podcast and it's only female guests so i guess my first question is can i do it you can come do it i think i might be oh we're gonna get

to 50 in a few months so i think after that I'll start expanding a little bit and it might make it into- You've run out of female comedians. Not at all. I have a- Actually, that too. It's like, there's not a lot of people. There's not a lot of people, but also I think there's opportunity

for like segments of like, why is the guy here? Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without, you know. But you told me, I mean, that was a joke, but you told me,

I think I joked to you and you said they have of men reaching out immediately despite the premise hey maddie we'd love to do your pocket it's literally called that time of the week and it's like all it has like the female symbol in it it's all girls has only been girls and yet it didn't cross people's minds yeah that it's a all women podcast that's a very funny thing to um be like i'm gonna contact them and maybe they'll have me on the podcast. But then I've clearly not listened or looked for more than 10 seconds.

That's every person who has to do a bunch of shows. Yeah. Like I had like a one-off show once and people were like, I would love to do this. I'm like, dude, it's over. It happened once. But people just look at the flyers and they ask. Yeah.

It's hard. It's hard to know. I'm going to LA and I've been asking. I've been doing a lot of trips coming up and I've been like asking people for spots. Just did it. It's hard. It's hard. It's humiliating.

And sometimes, frankly, like some people I'm like, I'm pushing it. I'm pushing it. And it worked out. And I'm like, they probably don't like me, but I got the spot. I know. Did you have a good time? I had a really good time but similar to you,

I had to message, message, message. The same thing in LA, there's like not as many shows happening as a year ago. A lot of shows are over so I'm messaging people

and they're like, that show doesn't exist anymore and I'm like, I'm so sorry. Or I messaged someone who had already, I had already been booked on their show

and they're like, you're already on it and I'm like, I'm so sorry. It turned out, it turned out fine. It ended up their show and they're like, you're already on it. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. It turned out, it turned out, it turned out fine. It ended up being fine.

And you know what? It's snow. Once I got there, it snowballed into more shows because people see you and then they're like, I would love to get you on. I'm like, you ghosted me, but sure.

No problem. Especially in LA. But it ended up being really fun. I asked one, I asked to do this guy's show and it's a cool weekly show and he basically was like you know we just reopened there's no out-of-towners and then and then i bothered him again and he was like i think i get you on what date i was like this day he's like you know jamie kennedy and brian callan are stopping by and i was like oh i don't brian

callan show what supernova no no no no it was it was a small i liked your mic yeah sense it that was good uh no but but you know brian callan yeah he had some very bad accusations against him it's one of those things i'm like oh do i have to say do i have to say no i'm gonna say no to every show brian callan tj miller uh uh you know take your spots and take your spots yeah and then you see if they want to say no to every show. I know. There's way too many people out here for me to say no to Money and Stage Time. If I said no to every show with a rapist or racist or sexist on it.

Sure. I saw a comic last night. We were talking about Seth Simons, of course. And she was just like, oh, I know. Like, Seth Simons thinks he's like rooted out kind of the big bad people and it's like there's so many pharaoh of stand-up yes yeah and it's like there's so many more there's so many more and there's so many more in the world there's just like i just thought you know seinfeld used to say people were like are comedians more depressed than regular people and he was like i don't agree

with seinfeld a lot of things but he was just he's like, no, we just talk about it more. We talk about it more. And I feel like that way with like, sometimes it's like, stand up is the most predatory place. I'm like,

you know what? McDonald's probably is fucking too. You just don't report on this shit. Literally. Yeah. Because it's not like

jazzy to you. We're just on Twitter and other people aren't. Every other industry I've been in has been like, whack as fuck. Yeah.

Academia? Can we talk about that oh my god yeah like dude predatorial yeah at least we get to have fun and joke about it yeah that's true i was sexually assaulted i guess i'm pretty hot you can't do that in academia you have to be a professional um so so i want to you know you you grew up in Buffalo. Yes. Any downsides to Buffalo? Just a couple. Well, when I tell people I'm from Buffalo, they're like, that sucks, dude. It's cold.

No shit. You don't need to tell me. How much colder is it than fucking New York? It's way colder. What a question. It's so cold. Yeah. From October to May, it snows.

Yeah. It literally gets into freezing cold. Does it go negative? Yeah. I've never been in negative. I went to undergrad at SUNY Potsdam. Shut up. Up near there. Oh negative? Yeah. I've never been a negative. I went to undergrad at SUNY Potsdam. Shut up. Oh my God, I went to Geneseo.

Yeah. So very, it would be like, sometimes be like negative 30. And when you go to college there, like you don't want to lose your coat. So you just get blackout so you can wear a hoodie. And then you just like. When you're blackout, you get warm? You're warmer, yeah. You don't notice it.

Yeah. You just don't notice the cold. I've got, it's like one of the only places where I was like, I could never live here. Never. Like never. Like you're like, this is horrible. Never. It would be nice for the last two weeks of college.

And people romanticize. And that was it. Oh, the last two weeks. Yeah. And people romanticize those last two weeks. Yes. They're like, oh my God, college. Yeah, yeah. But you get back immediately. being freezing in october yeah why why did your

parents go there well my dad's from buffalo okay so my dad's from there my mom went to school there she's from long island and she went to school up off state and then they met in buffalo my dad grew up on a dairy farm in clarence, New York, which is outside of Buffalo. It's like a big farm town. Well, now it's like suburban, but it was a farm town. And then we moved up and down the East Coast, but we ended up back up in Clarence for a variety of reasons. And you went to college there just because it was, did you want to?

Literally, when I tell you guys, I had a full list of colleges. I was like UCLA, like all these places I wanted to go. And then my dad sat me down. We were like half broke, half not. Weird. They were divorced. People were running out of money. Different houses or they were still together in the same house but divorced?

No, divorced. Divorced, okay. From how old? 13 on. 13 on, okay. Yeah, so, and my dad sat me down. He's like, let's get that list down to state schools. Just do that for your mom and I.

Dreams shattered. I literally was going to go fucking west. I was like, what the fuck? And I was like, okay. But then they didn't even help me pay for college. It's like, okay, if you're not going to help me, let me go wherever the fuck I want. It was just a difference between 50K of debt, which I have,

which I guess out of state would be 200K. You know what I mean? But still, I was like, okay. Same thing with my sister. She wanted to go to Brown, and they were like, you're going to go to UB, Buffalo. You know what I mean? Oh, boy.

Yeah. So I just went to the closest school to me that wasn't UB, because UB, everyone goes there. Yeah. And I was like, okay, I'll go to Geneseo, because it was kind of like liberal arts. They called it the Harvard of the Sunni shut the fuck up it's not at all shut up and it just had like IV on their school so it looked like Vassar but it was like less money per year yeah and you studied what there economics economics yeah so were you perform

were you you said you did chorus were you doing doing theater? So in high school, I did theater, drama club, chorus, band, all the music stuff. And then when I got to college, I wanted to actually do piano performance. But then I was like, I don't want to practice my whole life. You realize like, oh, it's a lot of fucking work. Can you play at all? I can still play. I have a piano at home, but not like I used to. If a piano's on stage on the show, do you go over and do a little thing? I can still play. I have a piano at home, but not like I used to, you know, if a piano is on stage on the show,

do you like, do you go over and do a little thing? I should more. You should. I want to be, I want to, you know, you get caught up in the grind 20 years later.

You're like, fuck, damn, fuck, damn. What are you five years later right now? You're already talking like 20 years later. Later on,

you just, I could see how people get lost in the mix. I really went with the flow and didn't like do anything fun. But, so I played piano all through high school and then I got to college.

You know when you get to college or I'm going to be in this, I'm going to be in this, I'm going to be in this and then you get wrapped up in both your studies and partying and I auditioned

for an acapella group. This whole podcast is about me getting rejected. I auditioned for an acapella group this whole podcast is about me getting rejected i auditioned for an acapella group hips and harmony and it was the girls one i got a call back and then in the callback this is just a gripe that i still have they made me do bass alto i'm not a bass out they made me do a low g and i was like i can't hit these notes you guys sabotage me so then i didn't get in yeah because we it was like in my life we did there are places i remember all my life and so my part was like there are

places and they're like maddie you need to hit the and then i didn't get in yeah so then of course the next four years i was like i don't do music yeah you know what i mean i also auditioned and did not get into an acapella group in college I was like what the fuck I went to the small school it wasn't easy I was pissed I was in music school so it was a little more of a thing but also it was like

I knew I wasn't cool enough it was like cool they had one at ours the pointer counts if you're listening right now I wasn't cool enough. Like it was like cool. It was cool. They had one at ours called Pointer Counts. You thought it was cool there. Fuck you, Pointer Counts, if you're listening right now. Pointer Counts.

Ours was called, the big one at our school was called Exit 8 because that's the exit that our college is off of. And they were so cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I auditioned for them and they were like. They were cool even on campus or like looking back, you're like, oh, they were losers. In music school, they were cool. In music school.

But outside of music school no they were fucking losers they're fucking losers no offense to the pot stand pointer counts or any of the or the girls version was A-sharps

shut the fuck up we have a couple A-sharps listening on our we love your work we love your work this is nothing against the girl group

this is only targeted to the pot stand pointer counts yeah which were all nice enough people but they did not they did not the girl group this is only targeted to the Potsdam Pointer Counts which were all nice enough people but they did not let me in and I was like

I knew I was good enough to be on it but you know the thing is I'm glad I didn't get in it because it probably would have been like my full like all of a sudden I would have had all these friends and really you know I didn't need the friends. I got into all three of my high school acapella groups. Okay.

High school though. We're talking college. High school. The next level. We're talking college. Yeah. Eda chose Five O'Clock Shadow was a barbershop group. Oh, these names.

There's no, there's actually no good names. There's no good names. For an acapella group. But when you were young, I remember when I first. There's no good names. I remember when I was like freshman in high school, I heard about like some group was called Oral Pleasure. Hate.

And I remember being- That's inappropriate. As a freshman, I was like, oh, fuck. That's inappropriate. Oh, A-U, A-U, A-U. Oh, God. And I was like, oh, my God. Naughty, naughty.

I hate it. Are there any good acapella group names? No. Did you watch Pitch Perfect, though? I loved Pitch Perfect. Yeah, I watched it. I think I watched it when it came out, but I don't remember it really much. I listen to acapella sometimes. I like you watch Pitch Perfect though? I loved Pitch Perfect. Yeah, I watched it. I think I watched it when it came out

but I don't remember it really much. I listen to acapella I like, what's Pentatonix? I listen to them sometimes. Oh, come on! John Markle! Come on!

They're fun. If you said any group other than them, they're not fun at all. Acapella, it's like one of those few things I feel joy. They're Christian and corny.

You feel joy? They're literally Christian. You can't sing Little I almost call it Little drummer boy That's how I Little drummer boy

And not be That's true You can't sing Little drummer boy And not be Christian They have Christian vibes Like Hillsong vibes Hillsong yeah

Yeah No I Who's the cool What's the cool acapella group To listen to When you're working out I mean that's an oxymoron Working out

You can only do Working out I listen to a lot of musicals While working out Oh my god What do you listen to when you're working out. I mean, that's an oxymoron. Working out? You can only do it, working out. I listen to a lot of musicals while working out. Oh my God. What do you listen to? Were you heavy metal? Quick comedy. I listen to like full, like pop,

like one million beats per minute. You will not catch me running the musical theater. I like a narrative. But that's bonkers doing. I like as the key change, I'm like... Acapella. Okay. Add some incline on here.

What's the guy's name? Andrew Lloyd Webber? Yeah. I almost said Andrew Dice Clay. Andrew Dice Clay. Andrew Dice Clay. That could be a sketch. They should do an Andrew Dice Clay musical.

Yeah, they should actually. Andrew Dice Clay in Phantom of the Opera. Hey. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's him, right? Yeah, that's him. He does the rhymes. So it'd be like...

Okay, Grinch. The music of... The music of the night. I bop... I fucked her in her... He's one of those... Just a memory. He does movies now, doesn't he?

Wasn't he in like... He does movies. He's a little toy. But what's funny about him is that his persona was one of his characters. He's a Jewish man. Yeah. And then he just like went with that character for the rest of his life. Yeah.

And he's still like probably bombs and then goes, hickory dickory dock. This chick was sucking my cock. And everyone goes, ah! Obsessed. Watching his old sets from the 80s is literally like a Trump rally. People are like Saying the words with him They're like

Go Oh my god And his career Kind of came to A really crashing halt Because during It was during The AIDS epidemic

And like He had made So many jokes About AIDS As Comedy Fight Club Does to this day AIDS chant Whenever someone

Says AIDS Everyone chants AIDS AIDS AIDS Just to let everyone know i think when the age chance started that's when i was like i think i'm gonna get out of here for my career yeah do you ever worry i mean you have a lot of roast battles online yeah i've kind of parsed through them i took out one where i said the r word so yeah that was the biggest one you know i was talking to dave cyrus and he's like as long as it's under the roast umbrella you're

relatively good you are a little protected under the roast umbrella. I just think ultimately the things we're going to get in trouble for are not going to be the things we take. It's going to be literally something I say on a podcast that's like, oh, Western medicine is really good. And people will be like, wow, you anti-Eastern poverty shaming bitch. You know what I mean? It's not going to be a joke.

It's going to be some ignorant fucking shit that's not even ignorant, but people are going to look it up. And my sisters, one of my sisters is not really into Western medicine suddenly. And I don't know how to handle it. Cause my reaction is like, shut the fuck up. I'm obsessed with antibiotics.

Really? Obsessed. You really buy any of them. What do you think they do for you? They cure. Are you against antibiotics yeah wait a second what are you saying oh antibiotics i thought oh i was thinking i thought you would mean like antioxidants no antibiotics okay yeah when you get something and people are like just like wait

it out i'm like no i'm going to the doctor i was like you know the jews control it uh i'm Jewish for the new listeners if you don't know i'm Jewish, get the fuck out of here. Yes, I'm worried my dad takes too many antibiotics. We're like, you know, there's the thing of you, you create these super germs who cannot be defeated. And my dad's part of that.

So you drank in college? A lot, yeah. Because when you go upstate, I always blame it on the location. I'm like, oh, it was cold. But actually, I think I had a drinking problem. But you were also doing well in school?

For the last three years. The first year, I tanked. I didn't realize. I watched all these movies, Animal House, old school. I thought it was like, yeah. Geneseo doesn't give out. This is how you become a good school, is you don't give out any fucking A's.

They make it so hard. Here's my thing. If you're going in out any fucking a's they give out they make it so hard here's my thing if you're going in debt for school do not give us gpas why the fuck am i getting a 2.4 and paying 20 000 a year for this you know what i mean yes anyway so i had to scrape out of bad grade my first year i tried to major in math and that was horrifying because once you get beyond calc 2 it's like impossible to do unless you have that side of your brain activated and you're literally Elon Musk. Well, he's not smart, but someone like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the last three years I majored in econ, murdered it.

But the first year you had to climb out of a 2.6 and then I ended up with a maximum 3.5. Because I went to college for musical theater. Oh, he doesn't know what I'm saying right now. No, we had grades, but there was a feeling of like like uh well you think the people auditioning me are gonna i i was over grades for college and that was a relief there was i'm glad i got to let that part of my life go no yeah i had grades too it was grades heavy yeah i care i mean yeah what i was stressed about is that we had so many requirements being in music school of like of ensembles and things to be in and you got zero or one credit sometimes for some of them so i would

have like insane scheduling for like yes i would you know i'd have like i would not be unnormal for like monday through friday for me like 8 a.m to like six or seven at night like like with like an hour here and there yeah in between stuff but it was like all this ensemble stuff that you didn't get a lot of credits for yeah it was just stupid and you were like why am i why would i possibly get a grade why in men's ensemble like if i'm coming do you know what i mean like i'm there and you're like you know i'm not like just screaming at people yes getting kicked out you know i can relate i was also so when i got rejected from acapella group i just went hard into the newspaper and i became the editor of the newspaper i was the

editor-in-chief of my school newspaper and so same thing no credits yeah it wasn't like a block thing but it was like that's what all my time was dedicated to yeah for thankless no one reads the school newspaper no one really no one no one. Really no one. Really no one. Now were you making jokes? Were you funny at this time or were you just like I'm a straight, I'm a journalist. No. So what happened. I'm a journalist. I'm a, can't name any famous journalists. I'm a,

I was just going to show you a name drop. It's like a thankless position. So when I started the newspaper, so when I was in high school, I tried, I had a little column in the, in the newspaper so when i was in high school i tried i had a little column in the in the newspaper that got printed on computer paper and it was called just saying with maddie smith and i would like write little fake opinion it was like anti-ug boots and then one of them was like don't be the guy who wears a white tux to prom you know like funny high school funny but then when i got to college i was like okay i'm gonna join the opinion team

on the newspaper and write like funny kind of like satire but like opinion and people were like anti-iraq war like all sorts of stuff like here's the problem with republican policies and i'm like starbucks sucks you know and i literally got fucking roasted to my core by the there was one article I wrote and they didn't even put it in because, and that's how I learned like, oh, you can't just come in and try to be funny. What was the article that you wrote? It was, it was something about women's fashion, not Ugg boots, but there was something else

that was going on at the time that I wrote about. And they were like, it wasn't serious enough. And I was like, oh, I thought we were allowed to be funny. Cause I thought it was like oniony I didn't know it should be more you're like those college things too you're like no one is reading it so we could take a little more risks with it I think you'd be like listen George Bush is gonna look at

this and go maybe the Iraq war was maybe I am making the mistake yeah way more serious but that's when I started getting into the features writing, where you could kind of like make fun of what you're writing about. Like I wrote about this frat who had a 5K run, but in between the 5K, they had to eat a garbage plate.

If you're from Rochester, it's the whole thing. They had this thing called garbage plates, which is meat, mac salad, home fries, all in one, mustard, all over the top. You mix it together. It's called a garbage plate. It sounds good. It's actually fire. Yeah.

It's actually horrifying. So the guys would run a mile, eat the garbage plate, run another mile. And my first article for Features was kind of like quipping at how fucking gross all these people are. And so I was able to put a little slant with like a little funny quip when I was features writing. So that's how I got into the newspaper was like going that way. But it wasn't comedic. It was kind of just like poking fun. Yeah.

While displaying the facts. Anyway. Getting a story. So I drank all throughout all of that. And do you think looking back were you depressed? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. depressed? I think so, yeah. Yeah? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. Because I've only blacked out twice in my life. And they were both, this one was the musical theater camp where a man fellated me when I was 15. What? This was a musical theater camp. I blacked out. Was it a man or was it a guy? He put his dick in your mouth?

No, no. He blew me as i as i gently passed out that was it's a story i tell on stage i've talked about it on this podcast it's just it's just i mean it was i was with like two guys and like we were getting wasted and we had a party and you were trying to fit in with you were like he was trying to fit in i was like you know all these guys are coming out yeah and this guy uh who who's still in the business again i was like i i just remember he the last two things i remembered was he was like he was like i'm straight but i can make you feel amazing and i was like cool and and then i remember like that's what i

told my boyfriend before i ride him wow and then like i just remember like nothing was going on yeah and then oh my gosh he just started blowing the other guy and then i passed out oh my gosh and i like i saw him at an audition like 10 years later and i one of those things i was like i don't know if he remembers this yeah i didn't care but i remember just being like ohing outs. I was so in so much pain the next day. Yes. I can't. I just don't. That's not in me.

Whatever that is that people. Did you enjoy it? So here's how I know I was depressed because the first time I blacked out, I was 18 and I woke up the next day, missed 10 hours of my life because I blacked out so hard. And when I woke up the next day, everyone everyone was like you were so funny last night and oh yeah i was in a lot of pain but i was like need to chase that feeling yeah of being the life of the party yeah so blackout maddie became like this thing where they're like she's going she's going and people be like we need to see you out tonight and so you just get addicted to that like yeah because when i'm drunk i'm fun as fuck you will not catch me i

remember going to by a man you will catch me like complimenting people i don't like oh well you know what i was just about to say is that i remember going to your birthday party two years ago i don't like that's exactly i remember going to your birthday party and like i was i had to you know i was only there for a little you know me i'm there 15 minutes i'm like yeah i'm good here there's people here doing better than me. And I. Literally Friday night in the city. No one's thinking about comedy.

The opposites of the party. But I remember leaving and like you. I knew you were drunk. But you were very, very like, you gave me a hug. I had that thought of like, oh, Maddie and I are closer than I had thought. I think we are closer than you think. Yeah. But we work together.

When I get hammered, I'm like making out with men and women. Andrew's like, woohoo, you do you, you know? Yeah. But it's been like that from the beginning. Just making friends left and right. Yeah. When you black out, do you remember any of it? Barely.

I have lived a lot of- Where's the fun in that? You don't even know what you did? Exactly. All you know is you crushed. That's all you need to know. When you wake up the next day, are you like, ooh, I can't wait to see what people said about how I was last night?

As I got older, there was regrets. There was regrets. But early on, it would be'd be like oh you watch videos of yourself most sane people would be like this is creepy that i disappeared for long but i was so lost in my life that i was like cool i'm the life of the party i'm like the fun person most most normal people would be like i never want that to happen again i'm really scared but i was like enthralled and you were nice i mean that's the thing some people get I'll never understand people who get mean

like you Russell you get mean when you get drunk I don't get I don't get mean at all like I'm not fighting people

I'm not blah blah blah I get like snarkier in like I'll do like and it's usually around the comedy stuff

so I'll be meaner in a text about a comedy related thing. Okay. Yeah. To, to just John Marco drinking with text for sure. Yeah.

And it's like just the dark shit. It's darker and snarkier, but it's not like, I don't feel Matt. Like, I don't feel like he's very funny, but it's like, there's sometimes where in general,

this dynamic, like I'm the standup comedy, I'm like darker, more cynical. But then when he's drunk, he says things that I, that I'm the standup comedy, I'm like darker, more cynical. But then when he's drunk, he says things that I, that I'm like, Whoa,

I love it. These thoughts that you have in your head are really horrible. I love it. I'll open up a little bit too much when I get drunk and I'm like, can I tell you how I feel about them? And they're just like, Oh, and I,

I, I might shit talk a little bit too much. You know, you get a few drinks in you and you're like, I have something to say about blah, blah, blah. And you're like sharing too much stuff. But it's never backfired too much. Yeah, do have to be careful with the shit talk.

I open up a little bit too much. There's a false sense of closeness when you're drinking with someone. And then you're like, oh yeah, I don't actually know this person. And if it's at all related to like a thing, that could be, you gotta be careful. yeah, I don't actually know this person. And if it's at all related to like a thing. At all related to a thing. You got to be careful.

Well, especially as comedians. We work together at Mohegan Sun. But every time I just, I went to Mohegan Sun actually with Ariel Elias. And like just something about being in a car with someone. 30 minutes in, you're like, you know who I fucking hate? You know who's the fucking worst? And you just like, you're like, I hope we're close. And you hope you both share enough shit that you're like, we who i fucking hate yeah you know who's the fucking worst and you just like you're like i hope we're close and you hope you both share enough shit that you're like we cannot you know what go ahead russell i was gonna say the other thing too is if someone does

it first then you're there's like they they flip the switch like they did it and then you're like oh we can do this and then you're doing it and then it is a slippery slope because it's a little bit slippery you have to make sure there's trust you have to make sure you're on the same page and you have to make sure that they're they're gonna shit talk too it's a two-way street yes i absolutely hate when you start shit talking and they're like i just like don't like want to do that right now and you're like okay queen fuck you and they're like above it and then you have to drive gripping because you know they you know they think things shut up you know they think shut up especially if we're talking about like

bookers i'm like they're not here they're not here they're not here i agree i remember one time i was in high school and there was this kid so we were we like i was in charge the only comedy thing i did in high school was like i was in charge of like putting together the the emcees for the talent show I hosted mine and we did sketches in between and stuff yes it was like my first time writing so we had like there was like five or six of us that were doing these sketches and stuff and at one point we were like coming up with the sketches we were writing and uh we were talking about these mean girls that were in our high school and we're kind of like making fun of them and figuring out like, can we do something in a sketch? Kind of like not directly calling them out,

but like their vibe of, and this one kid was like, he was like a total nerd. He's like, um, I just feel really uncomfortable because these are my friends. I'm like, they're not your fucking friends.

Like, and I didn't, and then I felt so mean because I wanted to be like, they're not your friends. They don't like you at all yeah but then you're like they don't even know who you are to be like that person to tell that person that so then you're just like in this weird thing we were like um okay okay i guess we won't i guess we won't do that sketch you know like that um so yeah it's that feeling it's a but i will say for the most part when you're in the car talking shit

i there's always the same people that everyone hates. Yeah. Yes. It's, I'm never like, you know who I hate? And they're like, I love them. It's like, they're like, oh my God, there's such a problem. Everyone agrees who's a problem. Yeah.

Do you ever get scared? I mean, this is my nature where I'm just like, I wonder if other cars right now are talking that they hate me. No one's awake right now. What? At this moment? No, this moment no no i mean i mean i feel like people have shit talk me sure yeah and everyone should you just have to accept it i think jeffrey astmus had a status like yeah i should talk other comedians that means they're all shit talking about me everyone should talk and everyone and then at the end of the day you're

like all right whatever i'm still doing well it's just this stand-up is such an insane there's just so many different personalities yeah and your personality is your craft yeah and we're all like you know one day we're feeling hot the next day we're feeling not and we don't know why the people succeeding are succeeding and it's dark it's yeah it's pretty fucked up i'm trying to you know i feel like i have more friends now i always i because i didn't i kind of didn't do the open mic yeah part at the beginning which i think it was just i didn't have those those friends from the beginning and now i'm starting to like you know work with people and when people open i'm like oh cool yeah open for me more times and we'll get to know each other. But you, you hold onto those friends because it's,

it's tough to have friends in this. It's tough. You have to get your crew and you have to know they're there for you. And then you have to know they don't care how far you go or not. You have to get like a group of people who you could hang out with and not talk about comedy. Yeah. And you have to respect.

Yeah. I think the other thing when you're in the same art form is like, you have to respect them to think the other thing when you're in the same art form is like, you have to respect them to their abilities to some degree. If you don't think someone's funny. Yeah.

Or you don't, even if they're not your cup of tea, but if you don't respect them, I think it's really, really tough. Really tough. Yeah.

Because you hit a point where they're like, why am I not getting this stuff? And you're like, I don't know. Yeah. You run out of things to to make up or say. Yeah, actually.

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For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. So, okay. So when did you stop? When did you go no more blacking out? It sort of just became less just the hangovers, especially when you do stand up, you can't, you can't do the next day.

So I think like college, I was able to deal with that. And it was fun, blah, blah, blah. And when you're younger, you can push through a hangover. But then I think New York, when you start blacking out, it gets a little scarier. Expensive, too. Expensive. You wake up in Sheepshead Bay on the train. You're like, okay. You woke up on the train.

Woke up on the train in literally like bottom of Brooklyn. Nothing was stolen? You had everything with you? No, I was just like, oh, fuck. You know? Yeah. Then I got up and went in the reverse direction back toward where I was.

Oh, boy. And that should have been a red flag, but I kept blocking out. Blah, blah, blah. I think there was a bender of a month in 2018 where I had a lot of random hookups going on. And then I think I woke up one morning and I was like, yeah, I can't do this anymore.

Then I went through the summer and then I started dating Andrew. I think Andrew was the big one. Your boyfriend, Andrew Chavone? Andrew Chavone, my boyfriend. Obsessed with him. When we started dating, we were drinking a lot. And then I think once the relationship was solidified, I was like, we're done. We're done with this whole thing.

Yeah. Do you guys still drink a little? We still drink a little. I'll black out on my birthday. There was a wedding we had early on where open bars are risky for me. Yeah. Where I blacked out. I always feel like it's going to go away.

Me too. It's like the feeling of like. You always, yes. You think it's going to, they're going to run out or? It's closed. I really struggle. It's the mixing of things at weddings. Mixing.

And also it's just the idea that it is open. Something about it. It's so fun. It's so enticing. So blacked out at an open bar wedding. And then I think it's pretty much slowed down a lot since then. Past Halloween might have been the last time. And that was like the first post-covid like

outdoor party or just got out of control i dated someone i mean it depends on how people are drunk but i dated someone who like got really drunk yeah and not very long and there was just like they came to a show yeah they came to one of uh my my sketch team shows and like they were so black i was like and they were, kind of like wanted to like, they wanted to like have sex and it was like early in the relationship and I was just like, absolutely not.

Yeah. Absolutely not. Am I fucking around with it? I'll always remember in high school, I had a friend and he went to a party and this girl I knew who was drank a lot

was wasted. Yeah. And they had always had sexual chemistry, but they had never hooked up. So she wanted to make out with him or whatever. And he, he got to the party. He was sober and he was like,

Oh fuck. And he was like, Oh, I know what to do. And he took six shots of vodka. This is super bad. That's super bad. One of those things where like,

I'm like, Oh, the schools, we're not talking about sex nearly enough because I understand to like a 15 year old being like, you can't make out with someone who's drunk. Got it. I'll get wasted too. Totally. And it's like, and they just made out.

There was nothing too untoward as far as I know. But it's just, I think so much about how in high school everyone accepts. Yeah. I got in trouble in high school because there was after the end of a show there was drinking and smoking on campus and i'm like we all know high schoolers drink and we all just are like yeah well some will get in trouble yes and the ones who are really good at crimes will get away with it or they have connected parents oh yeah yeah i remember it was so hard to get booze in high school i i was

surprised because you know obviously everyone was drinking and i didn't really i didn't really drink in high school until like the last i think maybe year yeah and um it was it felt so hard i remember meeting on a back road thing and i remember each of us my friends each we each spent $20 and I think we got a six-pack do you know what I mean like we like we like we're spending like an insane amount of money and the first time I drank I think I had three beers and uh and it was it was you know it was like it was it was so fun but I was like I remember spending $20 for those three beers yeah in high school for like It wasn't at a bar. It was like a thing.

But do you not smoke pot? I'll do a little edibles every so often, little gummies and stuff like that. The smell of... So in college, I smoked a lot of weed. I didn't even say that. Yeah. So the smell of weed really sends me to a different place

that I don't like to be in. It reminds me of college. I really don't like the smell of weed, so I like edibles a little bit more. I also don't like how weed, it hits you right away when you smoke it. I don't like to be in. It reminds me of college. I really don't like the smell of weed, so I like edibles a little bit more. I also don't like how weed, it hits you right away when you smoke it. I don't like that being like, oh, fuck, I'm already a different person.

I like edibles. They hit you a little bit, and you can take a little nibble and then be like, all right, I'll take a little bit more, and it's just like a calm. You can control exactly how many milligrams you're consuming.

What's your perfect milligram? Literally like 2.5 i'm a fucking pussy i'm literally these mints from la that are two oh and i i can't wait to go buy some more because i like i take it before i like i can do a show on two milligrams me too i take it before and then a little loose why am i feeling oh right yeah you're like more present you're like having more fun in your bits every so often when you have like a low stakes night you're like okay yeah cool i'll take a little bit of these yeah um but yeah that's my perfect little gummy little tiny thing but like people at new york comedy club like sagalo and my cannon will be like i just took a hundred milligram thing i'm

fucking pumped and i'm like how you will never catch me doing that but weed if i smoke too much will put me on a different planet yeah the last uh day of while and out we always have a rat party and this season everyone's like maddie's getting high the last night and i smoked some sort of weed that put me i was at the rat party really paranoid and not not feeling good yeah i was i love how you are getting this position where everyone's like we're gonna get Maddie fogged up tonight. We're going to get this. It was bad. And that was the sort of thing where it was like,

it wasn't edible. It was like blunts. And I took one hit and they were like, Maddie, it's puff puff pass, not puff pass. And I was like, okay,

cool. And then I was just like really spiraling. Yeah. I love it. Cause you know, we all talk about like, we're like, don't peer pressure. And then you're at a party. You're like really spiraling. Yeah. I love it. Cause you know, we all talk about like, we're like, don't peer pressure.

And then you're at a party. You're like, come on. Yeah. Another head. Please get fucked up. Yeah. You're like,

all right, fine. Let's do it. Yeah. You know, it's like I've dated, like I like to get stoned. Yeah.

And especially like when I'm dating someone, I like, I think that's a really enjoyable. Yeah. I get to, I get let go. And like, you know, sometimes I'll be with someone who kind of smokes just a little. Yeah. And sometimes I'm like someone I think that's a really enjoyable I get to let go and like you know

sometimes I'll be with someone who kind of smokes just a little and sometimes I'm like aww but then Tova not a problem she smokes a lot Tova I'm like pass

totally I have zero control I have no knowledge I don't know milligrams I don't know anything it's hard I so infrequently do it I take one hit and i'm like done the last time i probably had it was when we were in toronto no i had to oh my god the casino so yes i i headlined and they all came

up and we got pretty fucked up yeah edibles and we're gonna do i still have that same bag of edibles that's how slowly yeah i yeah i just don't have any i i don't i can't control as much as but drinking so it's like i don't know it as much i don't do it as much yeah um okay so well andrew chiffon's your boyfriend there's no downsides there no downsides to andrew he's cool nice he got a new car we have a new car okay because his first car a lot of downsides a lot of downsides andrew had this truck 2003 designed by hot wheels it was the smallest coma literally this big it was so once we were going to a casino and i didn't know andrew very this truck 2003 designed by hot wheels it was the smallest coma literally this big it was so once we were going to a casino i didn't know andrew very well but he had offered to drive

he's very nice very nice guy and uh i remember he was like i'm in the car i'm waving at you and i look around and like i have to put on my glasses and i'm like oh oh there's the what's this and and then another comic another comic last minute was like, can we join you? Russell, it had one bench, one truck that didn't have the back. And so this comic, Jeremy, thank God this comic is the skinniest comic in the scene. Who was it? Alex Babbitt. Alex Babbitt, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it was the worst drive of my entire, I just like, I get, I'm not super claustrophobic, but he was on both of our laps. It's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so funny. And I'm so glad that car is gone. I didn't go back with him. Like someone else was there and they offered to take it.

I was like, hey, I'm gone. I'm gone. Well, actually, that got us out of having to drive a lot of people places because I'd be like, there's literally no room. You know when people say there's no room and there is room? There was no room. Yeah. So it was a good truck to have for when, you know, like I got a book done to show in Pennsylvania recently for headlining. And he was like, can you also drive these three people?

I'm like, bitch, what the fuck are you doing? And with the truck, I would have been able to say, no, we have no room. But I just flat out said no. Now, because this is downside, you know, we'll talk a bit about Wild and Out. One thing I think is so funny about Wild and Out is Jacob Williams, who's a great comic, and he was on Wild N' Out. He kind of paved the way for white people to be on Wild N' Out.

He did, yeah. And I just remember Jacob would perform at LOL sometimes and we used to have family shows there. And the only time I ever saw him get recognized, it was a family show and a six-year-old kid in the front was like, he's from Wild N' Out.

And I was like, all right, buddy, we got 12 more years a six year old kid in the front was like he's from Wild N' Out and I was like alright buddy we got 12 more years before he can support you in the clubs literally it's a hard following is the fan base would you say

like is it is it what is it on what channel VH1 MTV2 and MTV okay

I remember like when I watched MTV it was like 7th, 8th grade yeah I'd watch Spring Break and like there'd be guys like doing whipped cream off people's titties and I was like when I watched MTV, it was like seventh, eighth grade. Yeah. I'd watch Spring Break and like there'd be guys like doing whipped cream off people's titties. I was like, yes!

This is the dream! So this is the dream Miami. Yeah. Yeah. It was all about sex for me. My MTV was just like. Oh. Sex.

Yeah. Sex and like all those shows that were like Next, Date My Mom, Pimp My Ride. Like all these shows that were like cool. Like. I remember making the music video like christine aguilera like i just remember she took off her shirt and was wearing like a yellow bra and i was like calling friends like you need to see oh the making of the i'm a genie in a bottle music video totally it's just funny i mean imagine her because she's like in her bra

if she knew she's like the number of 12 year olds that are fucking like drooling right now. Yeah. But so is the fan base. Is it younger? I think it's younger. I would probably. My analytics on Instagram say most of my followers are 24 to 35. Yeah.

So it's not as young as I thought because most of my followers are from while and out. But it is a pretty youthful demographic, just MTV in general, but it's also like international too. Yeah. Yeah. Any, any particular countries that you're like,

Oh, it's big in literally like Pakistan, South Africa, hilarious. Like all these places. You could tour there. I don't know. I gotta get it.

I gotta get someone to analyze all my shit. Yeah. Where I should go but it's uh the Pakistan tour yeah hello everybody that's it

hello everybody hello everybody that's my time have a good night god if I had to go if I had headlined like I always

whenever I go I've only performed outside of America a couple times me too but I always question really intensely I'm like I'm like do you of America a couple times. Me too. But I always question really intensely. I'm like, do you know what CVS is?

Do you know what Axe Body Spray is? Literally. Do you have lunch here? Do you eat lunch? Do you eat lunch? Is that a thing you do midday? You eat food? Yeah.

Do you have the bachelor? I think the best case scenario in Canada, I got picked up by a comic and on the way to the club, I got to ask the 20 questions I had. Okay, yeah. Did you watch these commercials in the 90s? Was like a thing but that's canada imagine going to exactly fucking you know africa sure you don't have to whisper africa i almost said bumfuck and i'm like all right we already said we support western medicine imagine going to shithole countries like sounds like trump so what downsides about wild and out being let me say real quick i did do a commercial with nick cannon way back in the day yeah i remember yeah it was called he had a reality

show called like assistance or like it was about i mean this is pretty bleak like trying to to uh a reality show where you try to be an assistant to someone famous. But wasn't that, didn't Andy Dick have that show first? Like wasn't that a show first with Andy Dick? You're accusing? No, no, no.

I'm saying, you're accusing every show of being a remake of something else? Maybe it was like the next version of that. Like I'm saying like, because it was on MTV I think. I think it was like, Was that a comedy?

It was like a reality show. Maybe. Auditioning to be Andy Dick. This was essentially like people who wanted to saying like, cause it was on MTV. I think, I think it was like, was that a comedy? It was like a reality show. It was like Andy auditioning to be Andy Dick. This was essentially like people who wanted to be like people who wanted to be multi hyphenates who were like ambitious, but didn't have any skills. Oh, I think the Andy Dick one was like a joke kind of like, it was like,

this was serious. This was like, this was like hustle culture. And so mine was, I, I worked more with Nick Cannon's body double than Nick Cannon himself. We were at like a mansion in upstate New York.

And my sketch was like, Nick Cannon is talking to his assistant and like, what about Petunia, my pig? Did you drop her off at yoga class? And the sketch was, I was a yoga teacher and I was doing a headstand with a six day old piglet in a tutu. And I was like, calm down, Petunia.

And first, a couple of things about pigs. When pigs squeal like it truly sounds like you're boiling them in water. Their squeal is so primordial and it does something in your body that you're like something is wrong. We need to escape. This is a six day old pig. This is a non-union commercial. The trainer is kind of like nudging hard. I wouldn't

say kicking but close to kicking this pig who doesn't want to be in the frame nor wear the tutu. I'm on my head holding it on the head and they're just waiting for this piglet to get in the frame long enough for me to say my line.

So the moment the piglet runs in they're like, say the line, say the line. The tutu's off, the tutu's off. Chaos. Oh no.

Chaos. And unfortunately it did not get to Wild and Out from there. Yeah. You tried. Is the, what are the downsides

to that you, about working on a show? It's a pretty intense shooting schedule, right? The biggest downside is how stressful it is and how every season I say, I'm going to be healthy this season. I'm going to just be fun. I mean, I've only been on three seasons, and the first two were pre-pandemic.

So this post-pandemic, I was like, I'm just going to have fun. The minute I got there, I was like, must write amazing jokes. same with roast battle you think you know you think you're gonna have fun and then the minute the show starts you're like fuck i'm i'm in that headspace again what's the schedule like for the schedule so this past season was pretty unique because we did a covid bubble so it was like really intense we did 27 episodes in nine days usually that's out of by the end you're like this is no not ideal for comedy not ideal everyone's on stage like

like the fake dance and when they say cut does everyone just i would love to see the cut and see this whole group of people they're like literally yeah literally you just or they just pull out their phones and blah blah but um usually it's 27 episodes over a span of like 16 days so you most days are two episodes a day which is like so much room to breathe but then they'll have like a couple three episode days where they amp us up they're like guys get to sleep tonight because tomorrow's the three episode days but this season it was three episodes every day so it was chaos so insane so our the girls call time would be 7 30 a.m get down to the hotel hair makeup start filming at 2 p.m then do an episode at 5 episode at 7 you're in the shuttle home at like 10 11 p.m oh my god and how much writing are you doing on this a lot you find out the night

before what the episodes are going to look like and then you start every episode has the rap battle back and forth the wild style at the end so you're like all right i gotta get up in that it's optional to go up in that but you always want to have something at least at least every day that you're on you're like all right i want to show up i want to put it yeah every every rap battle video you post on youtube gets incredible yeah really good numbers yeah so you're like that's a really good place to shine because the whole show is about rapping the other games are very fun but you're like i want to get in this because this is a really good place for roasting but then it's really hard to get in so and you don't know who you're going to be facing it's absolutely chaos

and then there's all these games that you have to write for. A big game this season. I actually don't know if I'm allowed to say, but there was like a lot of new writing to do. There's new games every episode. Do you write with the people ever? Is it just you go to your room, you come the next day?

It's a mix. Some people, like the veterans on the show, don't even know what's coming. They're like, what are we playing next? Are they just fun they're just they're just good on their feet yeah they're good on their feet or you had a bomb on the show like a joke that really um not in the wild style i have but that was more so like i was so off rhythm it was like a good joke like there was one about there's a there's a little guy in the show and they call him lil head cortez uh-huh and so i said um i i said something about lil head is

your nickname because that's all you need to come really fast you know but it bombed just because my rhythm it was too many come i thought i think it was finished quick in bed or something your nickname what is it lil head because that's all think it was finish quick in bed or something. Finish quick in bed. Your nickname, what is it? Lil Head? Because that's all you need to finish quick in bed. But I think it was like too... Look at that.

It was a little too heady, no pun intended. Yes. And it fully bombed. But that kind of stuff is like... Could you ever be a rapper? I think so. It's not that hard. It's not as hard.

Well, I don't mean to undermine if everyone's over here. That's the clip. But it's... White girl says rapping's not that hard. It's not as hard. Well, I don't mean to undermine if everyone's over here. That's the clip. But it's, yeah. White girl says rapping's not that hard. But people are always like, do you rap? And it's like literally roast battle, but you just rhyme. And the first line is a throwaway. And then you just get the line out in the second line.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it. Oh, my God. Well, I've actually thought about posting some raps on Instagram just because my following is so, they would love it. I just haven't had the time yet. I've been in L some raps on Instagram just cause my following is so they would love it. I just haven't had the time yet. Yeah. I've been in LA.

You know what I mean? I just got back. Um, so yeah, it's a lot of writing and it's a lot of writing where you're like, I know I can pass with this line, but how can I crush with a different, like awesome line?

You know what I mean? So you get the games and you're like, okay, that's an easy one. Hmm. How can I like make something momentous with something else yeah but you and jacob must have been jacob is also a very good roaster my god he had a joke about emily winter that i think about all the time the red one or something else the one about he's like, I believe this is a joke. It was like, Emily Winter was sexually assaulted, but I'm not going to make any jokes about that because unlike the guy who assaulted her, I have taste.

And it was just one of these like, one of these like brutal. And he's the most soft-spoken man in the world. So when he says something like that, you're like, gee, I mean, amazing joke. Some of his wild styles this season were like so mean. He came back. He left and then came back. Yeah.

So we spent a lot of time this season. Yeah. Seriously. Do you ever, are there anything where they're like, don't say this about Nick Cannon on the wild style, please? No, not really. But, you know, some cast members are like, I don't joke about Nick's music, but some people go hard.

At this point, all the jokes have been done. Yeah. So to be like, Nick, how many albums have you not sold? He's like, he knows.

Like, it's been, at this point, it's like, okay, we've heard it all. I think it's funny. So they went to Nick,

you're like, quit comedy. And he's like, Maddie, get her off the set. We're done here. Get her off the set. We're done here.

Yeah. The Nick Cannon jokes is like, we've heard it all. The only new ones would be like about how many women he's impregnated. Something recent, right? Like some things recent. Something happened recently where they were like, God damn, how many kisses he have? He has a few now and then there's a new pregnant girl, I think.

That's why he's working so fucking hard. He's got a lot of college to pay for. He's one of those guys where I'm like your work schedule must absolutely insane the minute while and out wraps i think he's on to the next thing he doesn't even like he's so busy do they give you good food there tea usually it's like pretty popping but this season we were in san bernardino california in COVID bubble. So they put us in the middle of nowhere. Because usually it's like Atlanta or like Sydney where you can go to the strip clubs or whatever. But this season, they put us purposefully in the middle of nowhere. So we couldn't go anywhere.

And because of that, the food was bad because it had the worst catering. I'm usually really fine with food. You can put anything in front of me and I'm like, this is fine. But I knew that it was bad because I thought the food was bad yeah i just need healthy it doesn't have to be the best but there has to be a healthy option if it's pretty bad it was bad you're on camera especially you're on camera every day i know oh i know uh uh well that's that did you have a lot of audience there so the thing usually packed rooms this season covid bubble what they did was audience members if you're not in the episode because some people aren't in every episode if you're not in the

episode you're in the audience are you in the audience going like ah yes i mean jacob are next to each other in the audience a few times and then they had some paid it's it's very interesting it's me it's it was shot more like a movie than a live show so you'll see i will say it's a it was like a distanced audience yeah which is why this season was so weird because like if your joke technically like everything kind of bombed because there was like minimal audience but you had to make it look like it didn't bomb. I saw those early Tonight Show sets with 25% capacity. I know. Yeah. You really just have to make it seem like you're having, because they can edit stuff

in and all of that, but you have to make it look like you're crushing. You went to the strip club with the Wilds and Out? In my first season, we went to Magic City in Atlanta. Blacked out, obviously. Oh, you were blacked out? Yeah. I see. So you don't even remember.

It's the same thing with open bar. Open bar is similar to like a rat party on a season. Cause you're so tired and your mindfulness is not there. And you're just like consuming everyone. They're like, you crushed and you're like, ah, you keep going.

And then all of a sudden you're blackout at a strip club. And thank God I was with someone who was like, we're going home. Otherwise I would have been, I would have woken up there. Woken up on the pole. They'd be like, you signed up for work. You signed up. Yeah, remember? You gave us your

W-9. Alright, let's go into... This has got to stop. That really surprised me. This is episode 27? No, I just wasn't ready for it to be that loud and that aggressive.

Is it 27? It's been out that long? I feel like we do 17. I thought you started way further after me. Because we're on 32. Really? I don't know. I don't know if I started that long after you when you started yours.

We started March. Do you have some in the bank uh yeah we have a couple in the bank this one's gonna come out late late july oh yeah yeah we do like week of yeah yeah we're recording this september 10th 2001 that's my joke um 9-11 was oh yeah yeah this this buffalo flight that went down that i didn't know about this an airplane that went down in buffalo in 2009? My hometown, Clarence, New York. Do you remember?

It literally was a mile from my house. Oh, my God. It was my house. No, I'm kidding. Were you home when it happened? Yeah. So literally, I was at home, and we were like, it smells like smoke outside. The air was filled with smoke.

And I lived over like a mile away, like two miles away from this place. So what happened was like one of those 50-person flights went right into someone's house. Literally, the lot where the house was was the only thing that was destroyed. So there's just like this empty lot there now. Everyone on the plane passed away. And then everyone who lived in the house made it out, except for the dad. The dad? He was in the lot mowing the lawn?

He was in the house. I think everyone sprinted out. I see. I think they literally saw the plane coming, which is insane. So that was some sort of 3407 or something like that. Was that like... Absolutely insane.

Was school canceled that week or that day? I mean, that's very traumatic. I don't remember what month it was. I want to say it was in the summer. So I remember there was no snow. And I feel like we sang at the memorial. Oh boy. And it was sad.

Yeah. Was there a big, like a big town event? I And it was sad. Yeah. Was there a big, like, town event? I think it was summer. It was an event. But I think it was in the summer because I remember not talking about it at school. Yeah. But I think we did, like, a summer rehearsal of turn, turn, turn by the birds. If I lost anyone in a plane crash and people were like, I know it'll make this better for you.

We're going to get the high school chorus. I know. What's your favorite bird song? I'd say no. No. It was really sad. But I think that was over a month after it happened. Or maybe it was even the year anniversary.

I don't remember. Horrifying. I mean, I don't think I even knew about it. And I'm glad that I didn't know about it. Because those small planes. Dude. Those small planes. I took one to Philly from New York recently.

And I was like, you can feel every cloud. Yes. My other thought is I'm like, they're not using the best pilots for this one. No, that's open mic pilots. Yes. That's bringer pilots. I went from Seattle to Spokane for these shows.

You know when the plane's so small when you get on the runway? I always feel like, wait, what are we doing? Anyone could just run onto this plane. I know, what am I, a journalist going to cover the middle east what am i tina fey in that one movie that didn't really go anywhere did anyone watch that movie no i heard it was problematic i think because they hired alfred melina as like a middle eastern person and then you know i think that that's why i think because then and then she said something like they were like why'd you hire alfred melina instead of a

a person you know and she's like well he's the best person for the job you know like that kind of thing i think that guy i i don't remember anything about the movie but i remember that interview yeah so people are ready to be mad at tina fey i've been watching re-watching and alfred molina people mad at tina fey she went on snl and she was like guys instead of worrying about the news just eat cake and people were like oh it must be nice to be a white woman who doesn't have to focus on the issues meanwhile the minute biden got elected everyone was like it's so nice to not know who our treasury secretary is and And we're like, how fucking dare you? Sarah Cooper tweeted like,

it's so nice to feel normal for once. And all these people were like, this is why libs are ruining our country. Get me out of here. Well, I've reached out to Sarah about being on this show and I really hope she still doesn't. Sarah, I disagree with Maddie. You could go to... No, no, no.

I was saying she tweeted that and everyone was like, how fucking dare you? Oh, I see, I see. No, no, no. I was saying she tweeted that and everyone was like, oh, I see, I see. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get me out of everything. That's what I'm saying. The bottom line is like whether you knew

who the Treasury Secretary was before or don't know it now, you were doing nothing about it either way. So there's times when I get sad, I'm like, if I never read the news in my whole life, nothing would be different about the world. Actually, yeah.

You can literally not read. Yesterday, I texted my dad. The president of Haiti was assassinated? He was assassinated. He was assassinated. Yeah. How did I miss that? He was assassinated.

I missed that. And it's like- I missed that. Yeah. Most people missed it, I think. I don't know what happened. You know, when I was doing Wild N' Out and then I was in LA, usually I'm pretty good with the news and stuff. yeah most people missed it i think i don't i don't know what happened i i you know when i was doing wild and out and then i was in la usually i'm pretty good with the news and stuff

i totally miss that and my sister was like you're fucking dumbass i listened to the story and it was like they came to his house yeah and they said they were dea uh and i guess dea is like there's they have a presence in haiti and the guards are like, okay, do you want to go in? And then they went in, and they killed him. And then, you know, I remember after he was killed, I remember Sarah Cooper tweeted. She's like, it's so nice just to not think about Haiti anymore. Again, this has got to stop. Maddie, what has got to stop?

Okay, so this might sound like 2008 comedy, but I was thinking about this post-pandemic, let's stop requiring bathroom codes and or keys when you go somewhere. Let me use the fucking bathroom. Yeah. And you all know it's an anti-homeless thing. Let them use the bathroom.

What the fuck do you have against people fucking taking a piss? Or even more, public restrooms it is insane it's a public health issue that i have to buy a big mac to use a bathroom yeah yeah and there's nothing more horrifying than walking down like 23rd street and you're like oh oh i gotta fucking go yeah luckily we do comedy so at any moment you can stop into the grizzly pear there's many venues i have taken many shits in the christmas so many or near comedy or any any sort of place um that's the only reason i go to the cellar to take a shit you know what i mean drop in but it's a public health issue the lack or you go to bryant park and it's like they're closed central park the number of park shows we did there's the cuomo closed the bathrooms it's fucked up i took a couple public

peas yeah because of those shows and i was always so scared i couldn't take a public that is things would have to be really bad for me to take a no no no no no no no you shouldn't but i get scared when i see the park you don't have a good place to hide my thought always goes to like a kid's gonna run by yep and i'm gonna go to jail for exposing myself to a child you're a sex offender and you have to tell your neighbors. Yes. If you end up urinating. And no one's going to believe you.

Listen, I was peeing. I was peeing on him. I got in college. I got a thing. I got in trouble with the police for peeing. Sex offender? No, no, no. God, no.

They were nice. They labeled it disorderly conduct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. And so it never went on my no. They were nice. They labeled it disorderly conduct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God. And so it never went on my record. Where were you peeing? So there's a bar, and it was across the street from the bar. It was so stupid.

We were in the bar, and then we went out, and then we quickly realized that it was like, that it was like we couldn't get back in, and it was like you were like, we were in this, there was like bushes between a lot of bars. So we like peed in the bushes, and it was like the cops were parked there there the entire time they're sitting there waiting and so like we came we peed and then we came around the corner and they were like they're like you just we just

saw you do that isn't it so weird being in a college town yeah it's literally just like a summer camp yeah they're the chaperones yeah so it was a hundred bucks i had to pay a hundred bucks because you had to pee there was no was there no bathroom at the bar i mean there was a hundred bucks i had to pay a hundred bucks because you had to pee there was no was there no bathroom at the bar i mean there was a bathroom but it was like the line to get back into the bar it was like a long it was like it was a line yeah we could have but you know we should have just peed inside obviously but it was one of those things where they were like we could write you up for you know for public whatever or you know and they did disorderly conduct so that it didn't it didn't stay on the record and it was like 18 months later it was wiped from your thing but yeah

infuriating and the locked the locked the locked doors i mean it's nuts it's just i shouldn't have to go up to a barista can i use your bathroom like i'm a fucking second grader yeah i don't have to it's humiliating if i was a barista i'd be like 90 of your job is saying the bathroom code to people the bathroom like i would that would drive me nuts to be having to remember orders and do things and then be like five seven five five five broadway you know like and they come back they're like what did you say again it's it's awful and what's even more awful is the key with the massive if they have like a key with like a massive thing and you have to carry that to the bathroom that's a health issue bringing that in

you put on the floor and you're putting them in a position where like are they supposed to say no to the person they think is homeless literally you have now put that that's the barista's job now to determine who's homeless and then you go and you're like i swear i'm not homeless yeah oh it's it's fucking i hate it i had i was on a date uh where and we got ramen and it was like a first date yeah and after the ramen i had to shit so fucking bad as we walked back i i actually don't love eating ramen it always puts me in an unsettled place yes but so we had left the ramen place so i was like 14th street and i had to shit and I didn't know what to do. And I'm with the date and I'm like, look, I cannot hide what I need to do right now.

And if we're going into shops and I'm saying, can I please use your bathroom? And they're like, no. No, we don't have one. Then how do you take a shit? Yeah. And then I go to a bar and I'm like, I think I gave him 20 bucks. Like, just give me a shot. And then I go to the bathroom and the bathroom doesn't work.

So I have to use the women's bathroom. And so I have to ask my date, can you fucking stand outside the women's bathroom while I take a gigantic shit? Obsessed. Yeah, but once you get to the toilet, it doesn't even matter. Yeah. Leave the door unlocked. I don't give a fuck which gender it is as long as you're sitting on a toilet yeah one time oh i have a memory such a memory of of a bar in downtown and i had to shit so bad and it was such a crowded bar and i was the line was so long

and it was like you're waiting in line for a long time i'm like oh my stomach's just like i gotta shit and then i get in there there's one toilet and it has no door and i was like gotta do it like it was like one of those things where i was like i i mean i was in i mean like anyone that used the sink would be there yeah in full view but i was like i can't i can't you literally don't i can't do i was like it was i was a low but it was also like one of those things where you made plans and you were out for the evening and it was so early. It was like I had gotten there right away

and I had to shit. I was like, there's no way I can leave. I just have to do this. I just have to pretend there's not people who can see me shit right now and do it. And it was awful. I agree. Get rid of codes.

I especially hate codes when codes are on the 14th floor i'll be on the 14th floor somewhere and there's a code and i'm like what do you think yeah what do you think yeah fuck off who's who's coming on the 14th floor of you yeah it needs this fucking code yeah oh yeah and then i don't know then i yesterday i was going up the subway and there's gigantic human shit on the stairs. And you're like, this is what the whole reaction to homelessness in New York seems to be. Get rid of benches. Get rid of bathrooms. And I'm like, they don't disappear because you got rid of their conveniences.

They're going to sleep on the train. They're going to poop on the stairs. This is not fixing anything. And it's ruining life for everybody. It's just the worst reaction when they took all these benches away from subway stops awful or they put up spikes like that's like don't like lay here san francisco has like a huge problem and they just like they're supposed to be all liberal and they put up spikes yeah you're like i saw almost person spikes to anything in this world is crazy you know like where there's no place where you're like i mean i guess maybe you're a personal house

and you're like you're doing mario in a level of mario you put spikes like as an obstacle to on the turtles backs yeah yeah and then i saw and and i saw there was a home two homeless people and they were sleeping on the like the bill that on anning. They had set up camp on top of an awning. And I'm like, New York is not helping homeless people. They somehow got up to this awning. Like scaffolding? Like some kind of sign that had enough of a nook. That's insane.

And I think they used it because there was a little bit of a covering. And you're like, New York, you need to help homeless people. You're going to get rid of, it's the worst. It's the worst. And then you see de Blasio, this is the greatest city in the world. Come to New York.

I'm like, go fuck yourself. I know you like New York. Don't. He has people he knows in Florida who shit on New York, and it's unfortunate because you're like, well,

fuck you. Yeah. New York is a mess. New York is a mess, man. it's every city. What the fuck are you talking about? It's every city is a mess no it's every city what the fuck are you talking about it's every city is a mess right now because of what's happening in the so you're like the answer

is not to be like more like a suburb who doesn't have to deal with this shit because no one wants to fucking live there anyways but it's it's every city across the country is is is dealing with this stuff and not dealing with it well yes so it's it's one of those things where you're like it's just america it's just capitalism like this is like the next yeah it well. So it's one of those things where you're like, it's just America. And it's not just COVID, it's just capitalism. This is like the next where it's like. It's really bad. But I do think some public bathrooms could change a few things. Yes, I do too. Yes.

Alright, now our final segment. You better count your blessings. We've had a good negative episode. Yeah. I appreciate it. Russell, do you have a blessing for today? Oh, God. Can you go first? first yeah I had one and I forgot it I so I we mentioned this earlier the downside was in vulture we got a little features our first little write-up I

didn't even submit it I was from episode with Ashley Ray where if it was good dudes a nice dark episode we talked a where it was good. It was a nice dark episode. We talk a lot of death. Yeah. We talk, we almost did. And then we talked about everyone who died in that plane crash today. But yeah, we've had like four episodes that are like dead dad. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I got a lot of living family. Yeah. Yeah. Well, listen, when something happens, feel free to come back on. We'll do the day. My grandma just died. I didn't even mention that. But she was really old. She had 12 kids and they all took care of her.

So it was like more like this was a very blessed life. Yeah. Yeah. 12 kids. Yeah. God damn. My dad, dairy farm. My dad was one of 12 on a farm too.

Yeah. One of 12, crazy. Upstate? Yeah. Yeah, freaks. Yeah. Literal freaks. And when I had to bring Andrew over, he's like which one is uh steve

and i don't even know too many yeah the aunts and uncles i'm like with do you get good birthdays though are you like racking and getting no they don't give i when you're one of 12 it's like it's there's no way you're gonna be that close with sure there's too many and you're one of like 30 grandkids and yeah yeah no i feel like there'd be so much drama with siblings. We're like these four, I hate these three. Like I have, I have four and like sometimes there's dynamics where we talk shit about one. It can be clicky.

There's it's clicky. I'm obsessed. Yeah. And they get their own little drama and they gossip. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah,

so we were in vulture. That's very cool. Uh, I feel good. It was, you know, it's nice. Nice to get a little bit of recognition.

And we were kind of, you know, the nice nice to get a little bit of recognition and we were kind of you know the other podcasts on the list are people who are doing very well yeah yeah and uh yeah and uh russell um i i agree with you on that one um i would also say um i uh i had so much fun at our show uh uh you know i as always I'm very thankful for this group of people that I get to do shows with. It's always a good weekend when we get to do a show and it goes well. Russell had a great sketch because I hope we film it. But he had this sketch where this family confronts their father. Like an intervention type thing.

That he's posting too much about Free Britney. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, everything went well well and i just had a really good time that night and i'm always thankful to get to do that stuff with you guys the funniest line from it was can i say that it's where we confront him on the tweets and he's like it's not that big and i'm like dad yesterday you tweeted if britney isn't free by labor day it's going to be 9-11 part two. I'm serious. It was just a very good writer. Russell's a very good writer. That's funny. Thank you.

Maddie, do you have a blessing? Well, I actually was going to say antibiotics. Well, I was thinking about that on the train, and then I literally was like, might be too many. I'm grateful for medicine. I'm on Lexapro. Okay, right. We didn't ever talk about Lexapro. How long have you been on Lexapro? So right we didn't ever talk about how long you've

been on lexapro so this is what happened i was on it for a year and a half pre-pandemic pandemic hit i couldn't see my doctor new doctor and they were like she can't legally give you meds without seeing her i'm like are you fucking serious i was like you cannot not give a white woman her lexapro i'm like you understand that's the equivalent of a school shooting you know what i mean i'm like you realize what's about to happen but then the pandemic hit no stand-up no like external triggers i was like oh i'm fine i don't have anxiety the minute comedy clubs reopened in april yes spiraling yeah literal spirals how does it manifest are you it manifests in ways that are like catastrophizing over general like just thinking into the future like this is why they

got this and i'll never get that. Like insane things to say about yourself, especially after you just spent a year inside and you should just be grateful to be outside. So I had a few like spirals. I need to get Alexa pro. You're describing. I'm like,

yeah, that's what I feel right now. It really just evens you out. I tried it. I like, it was like, for whatever reason, I have a resistance.

There's something scary about it. You sit down with the person who gives them to you and you're're like okay so what does it do and they're like well you know for some people it lifts the clouds and like when they say that it makes sense as a metaphor but then you're like wait but what the fuck does that mean though totally i had it was like an existential thing of like oh i don't want to change my yeah being and then i took it for like two days i couldn't sleep both nights my was like, it couldn't be the pills because it takes longer for it to get into your system.

But I was like, I was like, look, I haven't slept. I don't know what to tell you. I have a whole bottle of you. You need Lexapro. Oh my God.

What was the milligrams? I think it was just five, 10. You're a fucking pussy. Where are you on? I'm on 10. You're on 10. So you started taking it again?

Yeah. And it just, it, it, it's's not even you just look back and you're like oh i do feel better it's not like because i was on wellbutrin for a second and that's a really intense one where you lose your appetite like you feel like a different person but lexapro is more of like a passive like it kind of just it uh what's the word edges what's the word uh takes out the edge it's you know rounds things out for you does it you joke about your stand-up does it kill your libido it does it did it used to but lately it's not been as bad i think i'm less stressed too i'm more kind of like pre-pandemic i didn't know where i was going i was floating a little bit but lately i've been feeling a little bit more solidified in life and i think when you feel better you also are like yeah let's have sex yeah sure you know what i mean yeah and once you're in

a relationship for a year yeah well you're gonna have sex two times a year max oh literally yeah you're like oh it's your birthday it's my birthday any other questions so yeah i'm also not that sex oriented yeah to begin with so it's like did it kill it or am i just meddy and i'm not you know yeah i hear you russell's a fucking are you on lexapro no no no no no um. Anything you want to plug, Russell? God, what? Uncle Function, August 13th. Friday, 7.30 p.m. Asylum, NYC.

Oh, Asylum. Yeah. Because the pit closed. Well, Asylum's also closing. Asylum's good. In a year, they're building condos. Less than. January.

It's going to be gone, too. Damn. That space, I love that space. I'm always like, where would I record a special if someone asked me please? Better do it by January. And I was like, that space, I like that space a lot. It's all over. Another club gone.

I was supposed to have an audition at a comedy club and they said, oh, there's a lawsuit. Like I was going to have an audition basically. Recently? And then yeah, yeah, yeah. This past Friday. You don't have to audition there. I just i just listen i'm not in new york yeah no i did it two one man show i um uh uh and then yeah there's a lawsuit and the club is canceled and part of today john marco doesn't forget anything meanwhile everyone else is like i said that that's crazy come back in and audition

um and uh what do you want to plug so many things i just would like to plug my podcast that time of the week yes with maddie smith it's really fun it's just kind of like topical and girls bantering with each other and then also i'll be at zany's nashville august second and third filming a little thingy not a special kind of just like a little thingy a little 20 minute set and you're gonna like put it up on your YouTube and stuff? My YouTube and then doing a couple serious tracks.

Sirius XM. Oh, cool. Sirius XM. I thought when you said that I was like, you're going to do a couple serious where you're going to talk about

So I will be talking about the flight 3407 that hit. It's about time. People have been saying, what happened? Where were you in 2009? Where does Maddie stand on this?

Where did she stand when she was 17 years old? How did you feel? No, SiriusXM. But that'll be at Zany's. So come out. Yeah. Awesome. Well, you know, some people die

in plane crashes. Some people die when they start taking Lexapro. When they start taking Lexapro. Thank you for listening to The Downside. Bye. Bye. Two, three.

Downside. Downside. Downside. Downside.