The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #40 Cremated in a Tom Brady Jersey with Josh Gondelman

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

Recorded three minutes after Gianmarco found out his dad was getting open heart surgery, Josh Gondelman joins us to share the downsides of balding at 19, teaching preschool, starting comedy in Boston, speaking and/or singing at your grandparents’ funerals, only being able to cry at Ted Lasso, and people who say “your joke isn’t helping.” It wasn’t easy but we got some negativity out of him. You can watch the full video of this episode HERE Join The Downside Patreon for early ad-free episodes the Friday before they're released on Tuesday, TWO bonus episodes a month (AUDIO & VIDEO), + the good feeling inside that you're helping keep my delusions alive. Follow JOSH GONDELMAN on instagram & twitter Watch JOSH GONDELMAN's comedy here Follow GIANMARCO SORESI on twitter, instagram, tiktok, & youtube Check out GIANMARCO SORESI's special 'Shelf Life' on amazon & on spotify Subscribe to GIANMARCO SORESI's mailchimp Follow RUSSELL DANIELS on twitter & instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Fawn Sullivan, Paige Asachika, & Gianmarco Soresi Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, welcome, everyone. Welcome, everyone, to The Downside. My name is Gianmarco Sarrisi. I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. Hello. And we're so excited. I'm very happy to be joined. Stand-up comedian, writer, podcaster, Josh Gondelman. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. So nice to see you both. Well, good. We're going to keep it sad.

And I don't know where we're going to start this recording, but unfortunately, rest in peace to the great, the legendary Norm MacDonald. One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi. Yes, so that's where we're starting.

We just found out about that. Five minutes ago. This is a negative podcast, Josh. I know it's going to be tough for you. Your podcast is kind of like the opposite of this podcast. I do. My podcast, Make My Day, is the full opposite. It's just we're trying to put a positive spin on everything.

But I'm excited. I'm excited to get out of my comfort zone. Because I love a good complain. You do? I love a good complain. Well, you are dark. I listened to all your albums. Oh, thank you well you are dark i listened to all all your albums oh thank you again i'd listened to them before but thank you you know there's uh there's

there's a darkness behind that that smile uh some good suicide jokes a wrist cutting joke was one of my favorites uh so you have you have it you have it uh i love i mean i love a dark joke and i i also think that like i think i'm a pretty optimistic guy but i think that people uh think that when you're an optimistic person it's because you think things are good and that's not true oh i love that there's so many things that are bad i just think they can be better right and like we have the capacity to improve them and like people can be good, but like, there's so much stuff that,

that is awful. Like if you're just the kind of person that's like, Hey, things are pretty good. Right. It's like, that's not an optimist. That's a person who is detached from reality.

Yes. Yes. There's a difference between indifference and, and, and optimism. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Well, I'm going to bring this down real fast, real quick. My dad is, it looks like he's going to have open heart surgery tomorrow. I just found that out too. So I think everything's fine with this, but I think tonight I'm going to go,

I'm going to get on a train to go to maryland to go see him uh just found that out it's been a crazy fucking week uh i just saw him it was my again we're we're gonna this is the the harshest beginning to this episode we've ever had really is this because i kind of thought it was about like kind of small time complaints. And you're like, okay, here's death. The last half an hour. Possibly life-threatening surgery. No offense to your father.

All my love to your family. But this, yeah, we're really hitting the ground with a thud. And I respect it. For you, we had to bring the big guns. I'm like, we got to get like multiple deaths to start this one out. I just found out. How did he find out? I mean, you found out like half just found out... How did he find out? I mean, you found out like half an hour ago. How did he find out? So it's been quite a weekend.

My grandfather's long-delayed funeral was Saturday. He passed away last year, but we had this funeral on Saturday, which I want to talk about too. I saw my dad. The family, it functioned for about one hour hour and then it imploded.

This is a family that can't stay together. There was a fight about the jewelry that was left behind. And my uncle said that the dad was cool with the jewelry being given away. And my dad started pocketing it and said, no, that's not what it says. It was a, we'll get to it. But my, my dad was getting some kind of checkup where it sounds fucking, you know, when they're like, they're going to look into my heart and they're going to start, you know, through my leg. And you're like, oh, isn't there a closer place? Isn't there a closer place to put it?

That is such a dad way to have a checkup, right? Where he's just like, I know a shortcut. We're not going to go the regular way. I know a shortcut to the heart. It's through the leg. I think whenever I hear about that, I'm like, man, I think about all the people that had to die for them to figure out that they could get to the heart through the leg. Because they must have tried the shoulder and the nose and the ear and none of those made it right through the chest like in public fiction that's where i would have gone with right through the chest that would have been my number one and then you go no it's always

congested there you gotta go through the leg yeah and so he got it checked out and uh arteries are are clogged badly um i don't know if he's been taking his medication i i don't i don't feel like i have i've always struggled communicating with my dad about his health because he exaggerates everything in life so i never know when it's serious he's not one of these dads i know some people have dads that like oh yeah i had a open heart surgery last week i didn't tell you not my dad that. That's my dad. Okay. That's my family. Is my mom, my dad had a very strange health scare, like, right before I was all the way vaccinated.

So I couldn't go and see him. But my dad, his short-term memory disappeared for, like, a day. Oh, my God. Yeah. And the doctors literally were like, it's amnesia um but they didn't say that really until the next morning so like my sister texted me i was like you should call mom she's at the hospital of dad and and my dad now he's fine but he thinks it's hysterical so he'll bring it up all the time he's like oh uh did you get the did you bring in the groceries

from the from the car and he's like oh must Classic me. Like, he thinks it's so funny. And my mom just feels the terror of when her husband's brain went blank for 24 hours. Was it like a stroke of some kind? No. They call it global transient amnesia. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fascinating.

That's my family. My dad thinks it's so funny which it in a lot of ways it is and i've been talking about it on stage and my my mom takes it very seriously as well she should but um we we don't have that like um the gravity of just like you know i i think my my whole family kind of is like oh i didn't tell you um this person was in the hospital for for two weeks another fine and it's like oh okay sure um but so i i like am very curious to hear how this played out with your family because i have the full opposite experience he he'll tell me everything and it's it's really right now he has a girlfriend an on again-again, off-again girlfriend who's a little younger than me.

And it's hard. Look, she's very sweet. Whatever it is, she's like, she's there. She picks up the phone. But it's very hard to talk to my dad's kind of girlfriend to be like, hey my dad alive today a week ago she texted me call me immediately and i'm like he's dead don't ever text me that don't ever text me call me immediately i am a jew i i cannot get that text and and and then she doesn't pick up the phone and it no well like you know she missed the first call. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

I can't do anything. I don't blame her. I just, like, that's tough. Right. The only thing worse than we have to talk later is we have to talk now. Yeah. And so we briefly, I was grateful the doctor came on the phone. So as my dad was talking to me and my younger sister and, you know, this is the second time in my life where he like brings up the will. And it's just like, it's just horrible, just horrible feelings. And the doctor came on and, you know, seemed old and wise and reasonable and said, there's a 1.5% chance.

There's a 1.5% chance. I forget the term he used, whether it's dying on the table or mortality rate, but there's that thing in your, one of those seems interesting. It doesn't round up to 2%. It is at 1.5. Usually you round up, but I feel like the doctor,

I bet, you know, that it makes people feel better to keep it in the 1% range. Yeah. Even 1.6, you'd say 1.6 and not round up. Right, right. You still keep it precise. It also feels more scientific, right?

If he had been like 1.5 too, you're like, this guy really knows what he's doing. Sure, sure. If he had gone, if he was like, eh, 2 to 3. 2 to 3%. Like 2 to 3, what is it? This isn't me in his life. But if he's like 1.246, you're like, oh, this guy's got it figured out like high. Like he is it this is a man's life but if he's like uh 1.246 you're like oh

this guy's got it figured out like hi like he's done this before and you also get curious you're like is that your batting average is that everyone's batting average wide yeah but what's funny is like you know that's kind of all that's all the information my i'm smart enough to know like i could hey tell me what you're going to do in there. Here's what I got. They're going to take, I think, a veins from the leg and put it in the heart. But like,

there's nothing else to say. Like you want to talk more to the doctor just to hear more things or some way for him to comfort you that like, he'll make it 1.4. He's going to have a coffee. You know what he slept really well last night he's still on his game today he's really sharpened the scalpel he's defogged the scope we he he's on it and i i feel like my dad he's a complainer like he's he's

a tough he's a tough customer so i do trust that he like uh gets people to do what he needs to do not always in a good way it's not good at restaurants but i do think it's good at hospitals because when you whenever you go to a workplace and you really think of a hospital as a workplace you're like yeah people have bad days or some guy shouldn't be there some guy he's always he's always dropping things and really a nurse gets hung over like anyone else or a doctor right like oh yeah um it you know we're coming out of the pandemic hopefully oh my coming out yeah do a lipa at a stadium last night and we're up till one and it's like you're a doctor yeah my doctor to do that i think i brought

this up where my my last primary care physician diploma, the frame was about four times too big for his diploma. So it kind of fallen into the corner. Yeah. And I was like, that's, I need some more attention to detail. It's imprecise. From my doctor. Yeah. My doctor, my current primary, I mean, I haven't talked to him.

I haven't really been in touch over the pandemic. So like, he might not not be with us he's the oldest man i've ever seen in my life i think he was there when they invented medicine uh he was because he like when they came up with first do no harm he was like i thought it was like first poke around for a while like he had a uh a dissenting opinion but he was like he knew hippocrates he was like yeah i helped him i helped him clean it up it was way longer before yeah it was bad uh i call him hippo hippo um but he said to me he was like looking at my ears and he's like there's a little buildup nothing too bad we don't really need to go in and i go all right cool and he goes as long as you can still hear your wife complain huh and it was like with when you're like the medicine can't be sexist yeah you can't hold me to hold my body to a sexist standard

oh man these old doctors i i saw my doctor yesterday i was trying to get some ambien uh and i told him i used to have been prescribed Ambien, but I was always I rarely took it because if I had a beer four hours before I'd freak out that I die. And he he's he loves being sarcastic. So he's like, yeah, a lot of people die from that. You hear it all the time. People dying. They have a beer. Three days later, have an Ambien.

They die. And he he does it for a little. And I'm like, kind of OK, you're you're a funny doctor. And then he keeps going. And then I just kind of get quiet and i'm like all right i'm gonna need a real answer now i'm gonna need a real stone cold no sarcasm answer before i move on with my day right like we i i get that i was being over the top but like how much can i drink before i have anambian before it's a problem yeah just give me the bit you can't just do the bit yeah it's it's and then i asked about pot and i'm better about asking it but like the doctors they always have an answer that's like

you'll be fine but they legally know they can't quite say that because if they say it and then i die i'll sue them right yeah um so so that's that's where i'm at i i uh i've this is definitely i've said to my dad once maybe twice before like a surgery we have a tough relationship but there is definitely something very like primal uh of of of you're to go into this scary place. I've had one surgery now, which certainly made me understand what it means to be wheeled into a room alone. And, you know, I'm dreading it. I'm filled with dread right now about that moment where like I'm trying to give comfort to a man who,

even though I don't go to him for comfort, there's a, you know, he was my father. Yeah. To see him terrified is very scary because I go, fuck, if you're terrified, who's going to comfort me when I'm terrified? Mm-hmm. And, you know, certainly I feel like I'm at that age where I have a girlfriend right now

and there is that kind of mutual, like we're going to have to be each other's parents sometimes with for each other. Yep. So just filled with dread. That is so that's so real. And that's so intense. And I'm so sorry that like you're finding out. I mean, I guess in a way there's like kind of a small mercy that like you just found out and then it's tomorrow and then you know how it was.

Right. It's not like three weeks ago. They're okay we're prepping him we know that this is about to happen and we have like all these pre uh pre-appointments and stuff at least it's like okay this will be a horrible three days psychologically and then uh 98.5 percent of the time it'll be totally fine and perfect yeah yeah yeah 98.5 and then i have to i'm just figuring out this is the first time i was supposed to go to chicago tomorrow not a not a headlining weekend but like a bunch of gigs and then a college on saturday so i'm just like figuring out like okay what do i cancel now what do i wait to see did you ever were there any big stand-up cancellations you had to do in your life? Oh, my gosh. I'm trying to think.

I remember the – I should have canceled more. I did spots the night of my grandmother's funeral. And I had a bunch of shows because I was supposed to go up to Boston anyway, where I'm from. And I went to the funeral. And I was just kind of like, well, the funeral is done by 8 p.m. And I will want to get out of the house. And I was just like, not in a great headspace to be performing. I'm trying to think of like cancellation.

I do think, though, like basically anything, this kind of thing, people understand. And like, even if this particular gig doesn't come back around, like, you'll be fine. You know what I mean? Oh, I'll be fine you know what i mean i'll be fine it's it's just you know and in my head i like this is one of those things where i'm like yes cancel joe marco cancel yeah go home yep uh i know that but there is still that thing in my head where i'm like oh fuck fuck yeah yeah yeah oh i always got my first time at zany's yeah i was really looking forward to the shows and this was gonna be money that i could have used and like all that stuff and then i think like i don't know it's

one of those things like when you apply for a writing job or you go for an audition right you just like pull off the band-aid and then forget about it right you send in the packet and then you act like you never did it or you do the audition and then you don't think about like what am i gonna hear about this callback because like that like once you're once you've done the thing it doesn't you know it doesn't help to be like oh this i bet right now i would have been getting on stage and people would have been clapping yeah yeah it's just it's just a whole different mode like in my brain i'm already like okay uh let's say i get to the train station i have some family there i don't know if they're free and it's like if the uber is 150 to the hospital just get in the uber if I have some family there. I don't know if they're free. And it's like if the Uber is $150 to the hospital, just get in the Uber.

If the Uber back is $150, it's just like I have to recontextualize everything right now of like money is not an issue. Yes. Forget about it. Right. Especially if you're like, okay, forget about it. I can't – right. Like if it's like I can't afford the time, I can't afford the money, you just have to like write it all off now from like your – you know what I mean? And anything that you don't – like any time that you get back like oh he's doing great like he doesn't

he actually wants a little privacy and like you can go home now okay great sure but like that's all kind of bonus goodwill yeah extra time and money but yeah like i i feel like you know some there are times in your life probably or i've had times where it's like the thing i really want to do to be there for family is like financially burdensome and then you kind of go okay do i take the uber or do i get on the like local um commuter rail and then take the uber from 30 miles closer you know that kind of stuff but like once you're like this is what i have to do and and like if if i lose 150 it'll just be a pain in my ass next month like and that's fine i think you yeah you just can't think about it yeah like you're like because then you get into the hospital room and you're like you know i spent 150 fucking

dollars to be in this room right now every time you have like a contentious conversation yeah i think yeah you just spend the money and then you know, maybe once you're there, you pocket some of those jewels that your dad stole from your dad. Oh, my God. You know, there you go. It's just so hard, man. It's hard when you have these difficult, like, so there's this funeral on Saturday. And it's, my dad and I, I sang at the funeral per my grandpa's request. I didn't force it.

Wait, which song was it that you sang again? So I sang, it's a song from, you know musicals, right, Josh? Yeah. This is from A Man of No Importance by Aaronson Flaherty. Not a huge musical. It's called The Cuddles Mary Gave. It doesn't make sense for me to sing it. I sang it at musical theater camp back in high school, but I just sang it forever.

I sang it at musical theater camp back in high school, but I just sang it forever. And I sang it to like my grandma when she was like basically dead, but like sang it. And then I sang it at her funeral at the same place. And he asked in his funeral instructions, my grandfather, step-grandfather technically, to sing it.

Or if I didn't want to sing that, to sing Old Man River. And I was like, I'm going to stick with this song, I think. And it was, you know, it felt, it's kind of embarrassing because you go up there and I'm performing. I'm trying to perform for the room. It's nice because I think it is a pure thing where I'm like, my objective is really just to make this room feel,

it feels very pure. I'm not worried about, there's no, there was no industry there. I checked before. Right, right, right. And I sang and then, you know, all these old, it was at the retirement community and all these old people were saying, oh, beautiful voice. And then my dad is like, you, why don't you go on America's Got Talent with that? And not like a fun, like you should go to America's Got Talent. Oh, stop it. Like he was like, I don't you go on america's got talent with that and not like a fun like you should go to america's got talent oh stop it like he was like i don't understand and i was like i

was like listen i i i submitted for for stand-up they don't they don't want me on america's got talent he was like yeah because you submitted for comedy you need to submit for singing and i'm like are we really is this a real argument? Are we really going to have this argument? And I love the idea of all this retirement community, these beautiful old people, very kind souls, tuning into a Maris Scott talent to watch four judges give me the X, singing a song they thought was so beautiful. And Simon just being like, I mean, you have a fine voice but talent hey i think i mean this is nice i mean this would be nice like for like a step-grandfather's funeral but not for all of america oh yeah if they nailed it like that that'd be so funny for him to just get step-grandfather right did you do any talking or any like saw like any material like you just cold

launched into a song and then that was it i i was it was just gonna be the song but i went up there and it felt so awkward uh that i said i just kind of gave the preface i gave you of like i sang this for this and for this and for this what i should have said which was I think the I tweeted it later and I was like I should have you know used it for the people was that I once was talking to my grandfather he left the priesthood to marry my grandmother who was his secretary at the time I'm sure in a different era would have been a me too thing but in this case it was beautiful and romantic and I once was talking to him. He was reading something he wrote.

He wrote at NYU. And he referred to my grandma. He just said, oh, me and Francis went to the store. I knew her as Betty. And he said, me and Francis went to the store. And I was like,

who's Francis? And he said, oh, the other half of my soul. And that was the way he casually referred to my grandma. Just said, like that, that was the very he casually referred to my grandma just said wow like that yeah that was the very sweet part of him yeah but then let me just say this i'm so sorry this is so

me centric for you uh so my i have a cousin who served in afghanistan and he's in africa now and he was like i guess a big trump supporter and i think him and my grandfather there was my grandfather was uh a pure Democrat to the very end. There was a picture of him with Bill Clinton, like one of the placards at the funeral was that. And someone read a letter from my cousin who was serving in Africa now or stationed in Africa now. And it was this like defense of the occupation of Afghanistan. It was like – Oh my gosh.

They read it at the funeral? Well, because my grandfather was very – like he was super anti-violence of any – he was a pacifist. He was a true, true pacifist. Sure, sure. And like was against – he like studied bullying and cyberbullying. And that was his thing. And there's also – the funeral was on 9-11. And one of these things where I'm like, oh, we don't have to bring up 9-11 at the funeral just because it's 9-11.

There's no need to link these two things together. And it opened with this, like, you know, my grandfather and I, we disagreed on a lot. He didn't understand that sometimes violence was needed and this is being read he murdered your grandfather and then he went on to say, he's like, I remember walking with for September 11th and we walked

to ground zero and I think in that moment grandpa, he understood that violence was needed and I'm like, are you trying to win an argument from from now that he is no longer here to respond you fucking putting on like all sorts of things onto a dead person being like i think they were that's wild and he said the word asshole twice in a in a space in a letter in a letter yeah and it was like it wasn't read it uh it was his mother uh and and if there was weird

it was just so weird at some point she was talking about some part of the family and she's like you know this part of the family they're they're good republicans and then you know and the good and it was just like this weird i'm like get the politics out of here what a strange thing sorry what a strange way to because i've spoken have you ever like spoken spoken at a funeral uh no i haven't you have i've done i've done a few uh not to brag um who books those fucking uh well uh cancer but um i've spoken at, I think, two, maybe more, but at least two grandparents' funerals. And because my parents are very, like, I think it makes sense what I said before. They're just much more private about stuff. And I'm the public talker in the family. Of course.

And so I kind of get asked to speak like from the time that I was pretty young would, you know, like early twenties for sure would get asked to speak at a funeral. And I do think that it is like, it's you. I almost said before you told the story about that letter, I was almost like,

you kind of can't go wrong if you just speak kindly. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because the quality of the room and you just want to make the feeling in the room full of love and support and emotional presence. And I think people get it wrong less frequently than with like a wedding toast where people just biff it all the time because they're like, I'm going to be so frigging funny. But like nobody or you almost never hear that at a funeral people you know maybe you go on a little too long but it's like ah that's what else are we gonna do today we're at the funeral yeah yeah i do did you have any funny in yours like did you

have a little bit i had a couple little lines um about like because my grand my grandmother is or was like a very she was like a very um a very wonderful like i had a wonderful relationship with her but she's also very opinionated and like so she would do things like um she was very particular about gifts like if you gave her enough gifts that she was like i don't see where this would fit in my home. She would just be like, you don't have to do that anymore, which is like so funny. But also she traveled the world and she went to, she'd been to all seven continents just for recreation and like personal enrichment. And she would come back with the worst souvenirs, like not like it's hard to buy a good souvenir you know what i mean if you're like especially like at souvenir prices and you're buying it for like six relatives you're not going to be like here's a beautiful diamond i found in from a russian jeweler it'll be like oh yeah

here's a hat that said that has the kremlin on it or whatever that's why you get those magnets it's just like yeah put it on the fridge that's it or whatever that's why you get those magnets it's just like yeah put it on the fridge that's it too like you would always get like that little stuff and it would just be like fine but it was so so i think i mentioned something about that and just like you know just a little thing that's something that like the whole family i think knew and agreed on and thought was like a funny quirk um but you know you you i wouldn't have gone in if she and i had some kind of personal disagreement that the rest of the family found uncomfortable. I wouldn't have, like, gone in hard on that.

The other weird thing about funerals is, I don't know how this was the experience, Jim. I can't remember if we talked about this before. But there's this weird thing if someone's not religious or doesn't know the person who's leading the thing. thing if someone's not religious or doesn't know the person who's leading the thing yeah it's almost like uh uh like uh mad libs where they learn three things about the person and then they just kind of fill it in and and it's so unnatural and you're like oh they knew two things about my grandfather and they really forced that into the thing because they're like trying to and they you know that as a family member you know they had no real relationship i'm just meeting this guy he didn't you know um uh it's so funny i i remember uh i had a cousin pass and and it was this weird thing where they try to make things work that you're like

it was just like sitting there being like he's like and you know what she loved this time of year the holidays were her favorite time. So it's almost appropriate. Like, no, she probably would have liked to be alive during this holiday. Like, it just was a weird, they just try to make things, I don't know. I think especially you watch it, though, like, as we're all creatives, we're all in the arts. And like, you know, these are people, a lot of these people, it's kind of they're producing their first show. And they're not great at it.

Because you're like, you know, they go with the structure of the church and they get a little bit of a rubric. But I'm like, oh, you guys could have this room bawling right now. You could have us laughing. We are all there more than any other public event to feel. other public event to feel yeah and if you organize a little better got got a little more creative and also just really got more information from the family i just feel like they're autopilot don't have a priest lead it yeah it's a crazy job for them to do this many my grills right right because it's like it's going to come off a little impersonal just by virtue of like oh this is the you know they do this for half the dead people in town, you know?

Yeah. So it's just tough. Especially if it's like a family that has like an affiliation with the church or whatever or like. Yeah. But like not, doesn't go regularly or synagogue, you know? My grandmother, atheist, we talked about it like in her early 80s maybe we had lunch i took her out to lunch before i moved i mean this is 10 years ago before i moved to new york i took my grandmother out to lunch and we just like really got into it in like a really wonderful way just like really going deep on stuff

that like maybe we suspected about one another or like i suspected about her but she was just like yeah i don't really like god isn't really a thing for me and like just like really talked through a lot of like she's like very progressive and and like really open about this kind of stuff and she got i'm trying to think of how this happened because uh jews don't usually cremate but she was like i want to be cremated but i want to be buried with family so she got had the foresight to like i don't know what maybe in her 60s or 70s get a note from a rabbi that our family was close with that she could be cremated and then the urn could be buried in her burial plot so she got like a special dispensation from this rabbi but she was also i mean this was i i must have mentioned this at the at the funeral but she

was cremated in a tom brady jersey like it's very new england right right and so i i've said i mean i've said it on stage but that's like it's like a real thing and like i'm sure i brought that in because my aunt was like oh yeah this will be this is befitting and so those kind of details are like the kind of things that in family you can talk about but like if you're you know if you're just someone that's like okay what you're reading from like a checklist of like her five favorite things according to their kids in this on the saddest day of their life yeah like what did mom like oh i don't know like panela vodkahala vodka. Like, who knows? I'm so sad.

If you ever if you ever worked on something and Tom Brady was there, would you would you share that with him? I think I would. Yeah, I think I would tell my grandma was cremated. How would you handle that? That is so funny. That's his problem. Yeah, that's his problem. I think. I've heard that a lot of grandmas have been cremated in a time.

Sure. I'm sure. I bet it happens more than you think. Just not with Jews. I never heard a lot of grandmas that have been cremated in a time. I'm sure. I bet it happens more than you think. Just not with Jews. I never heard of Jews before, but it's true. And it's like, I do think I would say it because I think of that as like a fond memory.

You know what I mean? Like, I don't think it would be too heavy to put on it. Like that. My, she, she was, she lived like a wonderful life.

This was a decision of family made that is like a little quirky, but it's not one of those things. It's not like me being like, you know, my cousins think you're very sexy. You know what I mean? I think you should pitch to him, you should pitch to Tom Brady that when he's cremated, he should wear a shirt with your grandmother's face on it. Yeah. It's only fair. with your grandmother's face on it yeah it's only fair this presupposes that this relationship where i work with tom brady and then we stay in touch but he um yeah so but i do think like doing making that kind of stuff personal is so it's so helpful and it really you can tell right russ like you were saying like you can really tell when it's a guy being like she loved her kids and uh yeah oh yeah all four of them yeah four kids

she loved them and he's looked out he she had four wedding people are you know weddings funerals it's just very much like you can tell when there's been some time and thought put into it and it's like oh just plug in plug and play that's the thing with the my my stepfather's mom's funeral so my step grandmother uh she was very catholic and this was my first like super catholic funeral and this language is so i was watching this was during game of thrones and the language is so I was watching this was during Game of Thrones and the language is so clearly like was written at a time where there were competing religions so they kept saying the one true God and it made me think of Game of Thrones

where there's this constant verbal reaffirmation of this is the God not that God one true God and I was like it felt like get this PR for your fucking church out of my grandmother's funeral yeah how do you how do we know when we get right it's not time it's almost like um if you were just like uh this beautiful where this it's beautiful sunny day god smiling down upon us

here we are at this this gorgeous plot of land this the cemetery down the street from the one true subaru dealership it's like come on we're just here we're here to like think about this person's life and our relationship to this person and to each other and to our own lives we're not here to for you know i mean maybe some people are maybe some people want that maybe some people like hell yeah one true god That's who she's kicking it with now. But that's never been how I felt personally. I am so dreading groceries this

week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Uh, nope. You're on your own there. Could have skipped it. Should have skipped it. Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to

your door on Skip. Interior Chinatown is an all- series based on the bestselling novel by Charles Yu about a struggling Asian actor who gets a bigger part than he expected when he witnesses a crime in Chinatown streaming November 19th, only on Disney plus. Yeah. Let me say real quick. I always am doing this later and later in the shows. This is the downside with tremendous raising.

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let's talk. So, Josh, you grew up in Massachusetts, Stoneham, is that stoneham massachusetts or stoneham is like it's it's a very the regional thing is like almost all the ham cities are just like oh stoneham dedham wareham yeah and what are the i don't know boston too well my brother is going to BC right now. Oh, sure. So I'm trying to get more gigs there so I can see him. Yeah. Whether he wants it or not. We can talk – we'll talk about it later.

Well, let's text about it. Oh, sure. Because there are some fun rooms up there. Oh, thank you. And I love – I mean, I'm really grateful for the time I spent there doing comedy, and I always love to go back. You started stand-up there. You started stand-up there. I started stand-up there, yeah. Let me ask, because I know Dane Cook started Boston.

Louis C.K. started Boston. I think so. I always got the impression from hearing old interviews of those two that Boston is like, you got to be a loud comic. They talk about it in a way where like the rooms are tough. They're rough and tumble rooms. So there are some of those in a way.

Like it's really, one thing I liked about starting stand-up there is that there are all kinds of rooms, right? There would be like the, the like road quote unquote road rooms where you would like drive out 45 minutes into the suburbs and be like doing a youth hockey fundraiser. Right. And with just all people that knew each other because their kids played hockey together, or you would play like a club in Cambridge, like right across the street from the Harvard campus, the comedy studio was there before, you know, a little bit before I started and a few years before I started. there before you know a little bit before i started and i'm a few years before i started and uh and that would be very like focused audiences kind of showcase style club closer like a new york comedy club sure and then you would do that then there would be the downtown

rooms and some of those were like a little like people would be out drinking and like you they would expect the way i always describe it is like they expect – it's like they're the crew of a pirate ship and they want to have a good time being pirates and they want you to be the – you're the captain. But if you're like, hey, I was thinking maybe we pillage that island, they can smell that and they don't – like you don't have to be super loud. It doesn't like have to be aggressive or at least by the time I was starting there. But you do have to show that you're like in control whatever that means you know yeah and there were you know there were people there that were like um like bill burr started there but also stephen wright you know earlier but like i you get it and mike caplan and uh so so it's like kind of stylistically all over the map but i but there are rooms where

the audiences are like we need you like prove it like we want you to be good but we because there are rooms where you walk into where they're like we don't want you to be good you know what i mean like you've done those shows where it's just like oh this is an unwinnable environment or at least for me it was but like in these rooms downtown it was like um some of them they're like yeah we want to have a good time but if you're not good it's going to be like at your expense like we'll just start talking and having fun while you're talking i think i have a skewed vision of of boston just because it's because it's become this sketch comedy trope. Sure. This 30 rock.

My opinion of Boston is half informed by 30 rock and then half by SNL sketches and that one commercial where they said, Pock the Cod 10 times in a row. John Krasinski. Yeah. But it is a really interesting, like, environment for comedy. Because you can go, it's like a small, the city itself is very small. And the, so, like, you can go not very far in any direction and have, like, a very different experience culturally. Like, you can go, you can be downtown, or used to be.

But, I mean, like, there's the wilbur theater which is beautiful it's like this gorgeous theater i've only played it once i went to open for john oliver after the first year i worked for him and it was like it's like a 1200 seat theater somewhere between 11 and 13 and it's gorgeous and it's like it has the vibe of a comedy club it's run by people that used to run a big club in the city and it's just like oh, oh, this is the most, the best crowd, like the best circumstances for comedy. It's like a thousand people, super focused, just like losing it. And then you can go like truly across the street to Nick's Comedy Stop,

where it's like 150 people and maybe a bunch of them got in for free and are already drunk or they're waiting for the nightclub that starts after to open, whatever it is is and it's just like rowdier and then you go up the highway like 12 miles and then it's like these two there are two clubs that are um on opposite sides of the highway one in a giant chinese restaurant uh and one in an italian restaurant with the uh with like a fake leaning tower of pisa in front of it and it's just like it's like real suburban crowds that are like they and they go out to see like their favorite boston comedians a couple times a year and like it and they kind of expect that like fast kind of loud style um a little bit more or if you're downtown you go across the river and now

you're in cambridge at the comedy studio so it's like all pretty dense but it's just like every kind i you know what that's that's not true i never really did that i there are some exist but i was i never really crossed over there are a couple like i mean the the like slang term in the industry is like urban rooms but like predominantly black crowds um and comics and and i was like never really part of that scene even though i knew the comics i just like never really did those rooms i'd love to see you do those rooms i know you i think i would like to figure them out you you do them i think i would i would i feel like i would be more i just feel like more comfortable and capable on stage now than i was whatever a decade ago yeah but it was also just like you know um

yeah but I I and I don't think that scene and maybe I'm speaking out of turn I don't think it's like as big as the as the like urban scene is like even uptown in New York or like in in Chicago or Philadelphia like it feels like um yeah I I but that was not a scene I was really a part of but like there are so many different kinds of crowds that are geographically so close together and you can, you know, even within a weekend, you're like, oh yeah, I did. I, I, um, did this fundraiser show or I did this, um, benefit show or just a regular, like backroom of a restaurant gig. And then like drove downtown and like did a spot on a lay show at a club, which was

like, it was very fun. And I feel like I, you kind of, I, I'm not a big, like, you've got to pay your dues. Like I'm not that kind of guy, but I do think there is a value to like trying all sorts of different rooms when you're starting out to be like, oh, these audiences exist. And like, maybe this is what I have in common with them. This is what I don't't I do think there's a real value to that and I'm not like the kind of guy that's like you have to kill in every room that has comedy all across America

because like not everybody's work translates in that way and I think there's lots of great people kind of across the spectrum that don't work as well in every room and I don't I wouldn't want to be like, no,

you're not like this comic isn't valid because they can't play like a coffee house in North Hampton because their energy is too aggressive. Or this comic isn't good because they're too experimental to play at like a, you know, to headline comedy, like a school benefit, you know, PTA benefit in like the suburbs suburbs i still think one of the

funniest videos online i don't know if you've ever seen it it's it's nanette at the apollo where they mixed in oh no i've not that's so funny doing the net the apollo and it's just so funny but i mean i think that's it that's exactly the point right is like there are audiences that have certain expectations and comics that have certain skills and they don't always meet and i think like it's good to try out different kinds of rooms and be like oh i like this or like this was challenging in a way that i don't like and it's okay that i that i know that and i tried it and like maybe i will not seek this out as much in the future yeah i think it's more just like it's about having respect for i think on both sides of the spectrum if you want to if you want to make it urban brooklyn there's sometimes it's like a judging of the other like oh well that's totally that's

there's not respecting it you know i do try i mean in new york to play different kinds of rooms as much as like that opportunity is afforded to me. And I try not to like, look down on people that play one kind of room more than another, you know what I mean? Like, I felt I feel like that kind of divide was like, maybe more pronounced when I was starting out about like, Oh, do you do the comedy clubs or do you do the alt rooms? And I think a lot of people do both. And then some people only, you know, play one side more than play to one type of audience more than the other. But that I think that's like, what are your goals artistically? Who are the audiences that come to see you? Who are the audiences that you don't resonate with? And that's all like worth thinking about. And like, not thinking that the audiences in one kind of room or the comedians in one kind of room are like

beneath consideration sure they don't do what you do or they don't respond to what you do um so now growing up in the boston area is that would you call that the boston area boston area yeah what are the downsides of living in boston Oh, I mean, it was like I grew up in a pretty homogenous town. It was like it was very white. It was I mean, it was very not very Jewish either. Sure. I was I was curious because you're both your parents Jewish. Both my parents are Jewish and I had a lot of Jewish friends, but they grew up like a few towns over.

And so I would see them a lot when I was, you know, like especially once I could drive, I would see them a lot when i was you know like uh especially once i could drive i would see them a lot and uh but it was just like i uh i wish that i had no wish i i think that i could have benefited from uh uh growing up in a place where i like met more different kinds of people demographically yeah um because i definitely like i moved to new york and moved i i'd gone to college at this point and like and met international students and students from all over the country um but definitely i moved straight to harlem when i moved to i lived in harlem for about eight years so yeah yeah i i lived at um morning, rather, like Broadway, 137th and Broadway. And I lived there for like three years, three and a half years. And I just remember being like, oh, this is like a different cultural experience than I'm used to from where I lived in Boston.

Because I think the city feels very segregated, or it did when I was was living there still very segregated racially like there were neighborhoods where it was like um that were that were like more people of color but there just was less crossover culturally you know what i mean like there just weren't places where it was like oh i i have friends in this neighborhood or whatever and like that you know some of that's on me and some of that is just on like how the city is laid out in a way that is like kind of structurally unfair yeah yeah um okay so so you left boston you went to brandeis where's that yeah it's just west of boston so it's like eight miles west of boston yeah and when did you know you were to do comedy when you were doing writing, English, Spanish? I started, yeah. So my freshman year, I started doing improv.

And after my freshman year, I started doing stand-up. And then my junior year, my roommates and I had moved off campus, but we started a sketch group, too. So I was doing a lot of comedy, even in college. a lot of comedy, even in college. And especially by like junior, senior year, I had a car on campus and I would just like zip into the city and do, my friend Aaron Judge had a sketch show that I contributed to that was like one Sunday a month. And like I was doing standup on the weekends.

And so like I was kind of, I was doing like, you know, the balance kind of kept leveling off between like comedy and school work as i went as i got closer to graduation are you are you as good a student as you seem like you'd be i was a pretty good student i was um i got good grades i was a i'm much better like in class like i never cut class but i would like like skirt or shirk some of the readings sometimes, because I'm a good listener and note taker. So like, I could skim the readings and still be like, Oh, yeah, this is like what they said in class, you know, this is what what the professor said in class, and I get it enough to write a paper to like take a test. And because I was a good high school student,

I was like exempt from science and math requirements because of like AP tests. So by the time I got to college, I was just like, oh, I never have to look at a number or think about a number until I pay taxes. Yes. Now, because this is the downside, you are a bald? I'm a bald. Yeah. You are bald. When did you start balding? 19. Very young. 19? Yeah, really young. Started thinning out. uh a bald i'm a bald yeah you were bald when did you start balding 19 very young 19 really young started thinning out and i knew it was coming my dad is a bald um so i knew it was

coming and he started the dad i always i always feel confused i feel like they're always like that's actually your mother's side i've heard that too my grant my maternal grandfather also like it's bald's all the way down and so i knew it was coming and i actually so this is something i think about a lot because i don't i've said this on stage as well but i think if you're gonna go bald do it young that's how i feel about it because there's less question like sure you don't have like a great head of hair in your early to mid-20s but you know the man you're going to be like much rather than starting college and be like okay this is who who i am this is what what i'm gonna look like rather than be like

oh i hope i i hope this part of my identity sticks around until i'm yeah i guess and so it was like i mean the downside of it is like it is goofy looking when you're young where now where does it it starts in the middle right it depends no it depends on on mine was like i went mostly from the front back and then it started from the back forward were you at any was there any point in your life where you went you looked up at the heavens and said why god why i definitely at the time was like yeah fuck me you know like it's not fun when you're 19 and you're like dating in college and you're you're a kid uh and you're like nobody i don't know i just don't feel like it is the kind of thing like i'm i'm 36 i'm married i think by the time i met my wife my hairline was pretty dog shit. I met

when I was 29. We met when I was 29. But that's like, I would rather that, you know, because she knew what she was getting into, follically speaking. But like, when you're 19, it just feels like the, if that's something that someone is thinking about, like, it's just less a reality for other people your age. Does that make sense? So, like, by the time you're in your late 20s, early 30s, that's like, yeah, a lot of guys are like this. And it's like, you can date a 23-year-old guy if you want, or you could date a guy that's maybe bald. That's true.

And when you're 19, it's like there are more choices for not me. I understand what you're saying we're like i see you in my mind's eye you exist as a bald person and it looks like that's your look that's just what i look like right it looks like correct i agree i think it's good too because i think of when i think of the people in my life that i knew that like went bald so young i was like whoa like they're going bald but we were all aware and they were aware and they got some you know like it was like something to talk about for them too it was but like it's later on it's when you get into 30s and stuff and you it starts happening it's a slower harder process for

the person i believe and uh it doesn't who cares if you go bald in your third, late thirties or forties, you're like, yeah. So it's not as a, people aren't like, Oh, it's more just like, you know, it's a harder process as an individual and you don't get any kudos for it. It is just part of the aging process that I took care of early on. And I think that is fun.

Right. And, but at the time, for sure, it was something I was like a little more self-conscious about like i don't think it like never stopped me from like having a good life and having friends and dating and stuff but it definitely was like the kind of thing where i was like um oh yeah this is like i wish i'd hung on at the time i wished i'd hung on a little longer now i'm like who cares like this is i just i turned into me faster yeah that makes sense i think in my head i still have a you know i'm 33

now and there still is that thing whether it's stand-up comedy or acting and they're like oh you're young and every time i hear that all i can think is like when is that gonna stop well it's when are they gonna go when are they gonna go oh go? Oh, well, you're... Right. You're an old... You're okay. You're okay where you are. I think that that's... It's the transition more than anything, right?

It's not like being bald is good and having... Or having hair is bad or having hair is good and being bald is bad. It's just like turning from one thing into another is... That's the hard part, especially working in entertainment, where you go, oh, this is how people see me. I can do this kind of stuff. And then one, when people start perceiving you differently, it is, it's not just like, oh, I look a little different. I'm, I'm, I'm getting older. It's like, oh, what do I do professionally? What, what is my new, what is my new thing?

Headshots. You just got to think about headshots. You're waiting for the point of someone to be like, these headshots, they feel like a lie now yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like this is different you're this guy's dad yeah the casting director actually cast you on an episode of catfish because they feel like you lied to them with this submission oh god so so you moved to the city and uh uh taught preschool. Was this in Massachusetts? In Boston. Yeah, in Massachusetts. In Arlington, which is another suburb.

So I lived in the city and around the city and taught preschool in the suburbs. So I'd commute every day. And was that a job? Did you enjoy that? It was great. It was a job that never lasted past 6 p.m., which is great. Like I was never like, ah, shit, I'm slammed at work today. They made me take six of the kids home.

Like, I got these tests. Oh, no, that's not a triangle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, goddammit. Yeah, grading all weekend. Yeah. So it was even, like, it was a very relaxed, you know, it was a job that was high focus. you'd be like, oh, you can't you can't just eat a spoonful of sand like that. I had to be on alert for that. But it was also like the kids were like some of them were a little like sassy.

But for the most part, they're really sweet. And my co-teachers were great. And like I had a really supportive school where they my bosses mostly were like sure yeah go do your thing and like I if I had to this is the trick I learned because sometimes I would be out late doing shows and I would have to come in at whatever 8 30 to teach and you don't you know when you show up at a preschool it's not like you it's not like having an office job where you like sit at a desk and kind of like check your email for 20 minutes and like ease into things. You're like, oh, here I am. And there are children.

So I would wear a shirt and tie on the days where I was out really late. And instead of people being like, oh, you look fucking awful. They'd be like, oh, someone dressed up today. Oh, that's really funny. It worked. It was shocking how much it worked. I would just come in. I would be like, oh, yeah, I was I like was doing shows and then hung out and got home at like midnight and went to sleep, you know, hung out with my roommate for another hour and went to sleep at one and got up at seven.

And so I'd come in like shirt and tie and they'd be like, wow, someone's prepared for work today. And I would just be like bleeding from the corners of my eyes. Yeah, I feel really prepared. looking like i just lost a fight did any any things have any bad things have with the kids anyone eat something they shouldn't have were you i would always feel scared i'd just be scared it's just a lot of responsibility it is a lot of responsibility i think there were gosh there were definitely some like little injuries and that's i think you kind of have to get used to that like it's like and a lot of tantrums like that four is still of the age where there are still kids you know i was working with three and a half to five year olds and there are still kids

at that age that like every day if they don't take a nap in the middle of the day they'll just kind of like come undone at 3 p.m yeah and you'll be like hey time let's let's put away the crayon so we can go outside and then they'll just like hurl themselves on the floor uh like a just like bawling like a war widow and um and so that that stuff was it was tough but i was pretty good at it like in terms of just like staying calm the teachers that i think the teachers that i worked with would give me credit for that too like there would be just like a little four year old just losing their mind just screaming and crying and i'd be like i know it's really hard it's really hard when you're not done drawing your elephant yet and we have to go outside but

you know that paper is going to be there forever that's a beautiful thing about crayons that they'll be here when we come back in and like just like screaming and my coaches would be like how are you just sitting there and my line that i would always say is like when you're a when you're a and this i don't mean this pejoratively but like when you are a man who dates women you get used to other people crying sure and like i because i'm not and this is not uh this is not a brag i'm like a pretty emotionally cloistered person when it comes to like expressing frustration and displeasure and sadness but i am used to it from people that i'm close to and so like i'm just used to like oh yeah sometimes another person cries and that's okay. And you just have to like hear them and validate their feelings and like offer support where you can.

But I really do. Like, I know it's like very like kind of, it's like deeply, possibly problematically heterosexual to say. But definitely when you are a person who is around people who are crying when you don't want them to be crying, when you're like, I'd rather you weren't crying right now. You get used to it and you get those skills. I think Tova, I've had like two big cries in front of Tova. And I told her, I was like, all right, the score is now 2 to 973. I wish I cried more.

Me too. There's times I almost try to lean on it. And when I was an actor, there was a time like I wanted to cry for those reasons. But even now, just as a human being, there's times I'm like I feel things. I want to have a cathartic release out my face. And instead it's just like. I'm also embarrassed by what makes me cry. Not because it's like.

Like I wish that I cried across the board more but i don't like when it's like when it's like hey this person that you're uh you know an old friend it passed away i'll be like shit that's that's really sad i feel really bad about this i feel turmoil inside but not crying and then they're like you know um ted lasso really taught his team what it means to work together for a common goal and that maybe is more important than the goal itself and i'm just like biting my lip as no i i agree and i'm just like what the fuck is wrong with me that this is what's doing it doesn't always track it doesn't always track it doesn't always track of like you you'll hear things and it'd be like this should be the thing

and then i'm crying i cried yesterday at below deck mediterranean whoa what's happening below direct mediterranean okay well i'm behind so it was when hannah i don't know if anyone knows any of these people hannah was on the show for like five seasons as our like person she's our audience surrogate like we're like following her thing she got fired and it was shitty and it was like it was like four she has anxiety and so she was getting fired for having valium for having anxiety issues and i was it was so upsetting i was and i was like and she's our surrogate i'm like i'm gonna keep watching the show without this person who was like leading us see this shepherding us through the show so uh but you know i shouldn't be crying at below deck mediterranean i shouldn't but i did you know uh you can't crack it you can't crash it's not that i wish that i didn't cry at the others

at the stuff that like does that enough like i'll just be like tom brady is still thriving at such a high level and even though he's playing in tampa bay i honestly it's just a marvel how his skills have been eroded and he's learned how to work in this new context and like and then it'll be like um hey uh you like you should go to the doctor you haven't been feeling well and i'll be like okay yeah sure and then i'll just be like just like lie awake in bed feeling uh horrible and not releasing it into the world at all what what makes you yell charlie when was the last time you yelled it's not a lot of are your parents calm like are your parents also very calm and even keeled my parents are yeah my my mom especially is like my my parents are both very like sweet and lovely people my dad is a person who is like very um like i was saying kind of quiet when things are bad like yeah like

if he's not feeling well he's not gonna be like everybody shut up i need to lie down he'll just kind of be like they're like oh um i'm gonna go get this thing upstairs and then you'll notice like three hours have passed and you've just been like lying face down with a with a migraine or something you know what i mean like yeah just not doesn't raise attention to to himself in that way and my mom is like incredibly diplomatic in a way where my my dad um will speak his mind a little bit more like in a public situation. If somebody's doing something fucked up, he'll be like, Hey, could you excuse me? You know, he's not going to be like, get into a fight about it, but he'll like, like give it a

little something. And my mom is like incredibly diplomatic, which I've, I think inherited from her just like a tendency to be like oh you're sure like um i'll just like work around it yeah like that's yeah it's it's just it just still blows me away the just the emotional tendencies i've taken from my parents that i don't like and are just deeply i went today my god i was trying to get the ambien so i got this prescription of ambien they prescribed it to the duane reed. I go to the Duane Reade. They go, this Duane Reade doesn't accept your insurance. You have to transfer it to the CVS.

And I acted like I had just found out the healthcare system isn't great. I was just like, oh, God. I was so just filled with anger and rage. And I wish I had your calm. I sometimes, like, when I think I'm, like, exploding with rage, I am just being, like, kind of, like, sarcastically passive-aggressive. And so, like, on one hand, I'm not, like, lashing out at people. But on the other hand, sometimes I do think that I could be better at just like clearly saying things that I feel or like, you know, being I could be more both like healthy in my communication and more like effective in my communication by just being like, I would like this, please.

You know what I mean? Like, oh, oh, I have to transfer this. Well, why don't you call them and do that, please? Because I was not told that this you know what I mean? Just like you not like a monster, but just but just like sure i hear what you're saying and i've never been to that cvs so can you call them and get this transferred because like this is not i imagine you've had come across this before like can you give me the phone number and you know like that kind of thing like yeah it's and like just being like okay let's let's figure this out

whereas normally i my thing i'll just be like oh that's real fucking convenient and then just walk away and handle it by myself you know what i mean i like that i like just like under my breath just like oh sure yeah um very cool of my fucking doctor not to say anything about this i'm like i and like and then i'll be like i'm very sorry i understand this isn't your fault you didn't't do this. You're not, you don't work at the insurance company. You're not the one who called this in. I hear you. Thank you for what you've done. But, you know, I try not to like take it out on people, but I definitely am like, oh, I

could be more direct just in terms of like not just taking it on myself and like seething. Yes. Yeah. Now I want to touch on, before we we get to this has got to stop your your pep talks which yeah you know you i see them on twitter i think once i was i don't mean this offense i was so low i thought maybe i'll call but like time i was in i was in like i was in a dark like for me to do that i'd have to be well. That's why I started them because I was feeling so bad. And this kind of comes back to what we were talking about earlier where I don't always ask for things well.

I'm getting better. But like this was like 2013. I was in like a pretty bad career place. Like I just felt like all the things. 2017? No, no, no. 2013 2013 okay yeah and and i i just all the things that i thought i was lining up professionally were um kind of were falling away one by one and then i don't know what that's that it was a bummer it was just like i had these little things that i was like oh

this is gonna get me to the next place and it felt like those levels in the old mario brothers games where you're like walking across a bridge and then the blocks start falling out from underneath you and i was just like oh it's it's it's gone the things that i thought i was working towards and i was in a relationship with a person who is great. But I think like, we, we broke up a few months later. And I think we probably there was like a little tension there that I was like trying to figure out how to resolve and probably not doing a great job at like, communicating and, and, and resolving like whatever, whatever was whatever cracks were in that relationship. whatever was whatever cracks were in that relationship and so i was just in this bad place and i so i was on twitter and i was like i really want to hear something encouraging from someone but i was like it felt just so weird to text somebody or like call somebody and be like uh hey just no reason but like tell me it's gonna be okay yeah and so i was like maybe if i offer to do this for someone else then there's a

context for like having this kind of conversation and it was you know i it was eight years ago i had a few thousand followers probably and then people were like maybe a dozen people were like yeah i want to hear something nice and i'd be like hey you got great sunglasses in your profile picture like it seems like you're working on really cool stuff. I hope it feels satisfying to you. Just like little things. And I've been doing it like every once in a while for like the last, I guess, eight years now. But that's how it came about.

It was because I was feeling bad. And I didn't have the skills to think about what I needed. And this is something, I tweeted this like three months ago. But this is something I really feel is like, I know it's healthy to tell people what you're feeling. And I know and I'm pretty good at like, pinpointing and articulating that now I'm like much better. But when I do, it's just like, well, now, I still feel that way. And other people know my terrible secrets. This seems like a raw deal to me. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's maybe I maybe I will call it. Do people call ever in tears?

No. I mean, it's usually just people writing back on Twitter. Oh, they write back? Yeah. Sometimes I'll get a DM. Yeah. Yeah. So sometimes I get a DM.

So it's all over text. But like if it's sometimes a friend will like write privately about it but like usually it's just people writing on twitter and i'll write back publicly um yeah it's so that's yeah but i think people have i mean like i'm not an advice giver i'm not a i'm not a qualified advice giver but people will say things like some really serious stuff like, oh, I lost a loved one recently and I'm feeling really low. You're like, your sunglasses look great though. Killer sunglasses. And then I solved it. that are like helpful and comforting even from a stranger even just to go like even just to remind

someone like this sounds like you're having a really hard time and i can't imagine the pain you're in but like i bet there are people in your life who really want to be there for you and love you and care about you and and if you reach out to them i bet that process won't be as scary as you think it is like right now and and i think that like holds in a lot of situations you know what i mean yeah like that kind of stuff so even even though it's not like real i'm not like solving anyone's problems i can just be like or even like oh this big job interview i'm really terrified i really want this job i haven't worked in four months it's just like hey you got the interview because you're you so you just go in there and be the you that you are that's who they

want to meet you didn't trick them. I mean, unless they tricked them. But in that case, like, that's their problem. That's not my fault. I do love imagining the John Marko equivalent of doing this, though. And John Marko being like, you think that's bad? I haven't been tested the comedy seller yet.

John Hodgman occasionally will be like, once Josh is done if anyone wants to be put in their place for five minutes and he's yeah he's very funny about it all right well let's let's go to on our next segment this has got to stop

this has got to stop where we talk about something something in the world that needs to stop Russell do you have one today yeah real quick this needs to stop russell do you have one today uh yeah real quick um this guy stopped um me getting covid repeatedly twice now and vaccinated i just i you know uh it's also my blessing i'm going to put them together because uh i got a breakthrough case of covid last week on Thursday, had some symptoms Thursday, Friday.

By Saturday night, felt great, feel great. Now it was so mild compared, you know, I was lucky pretty much both times I've gotten COVID, but definitely much more mild after the vaccine. But I just don't want to keep getting it. You know, it's one of those where I know it's, um, I just, in my mind, I was like, okay, well I had it. I'm vaccinated, you know, but now like I was going crazy place. I went to rehearsal. I went to a coffee shop. I, I, uh, just don't want to keep getting it. So I think I'm good. I've done the two major strains.

And I hope I don't want to do it again. I don't want to do it again for a while. For the rest of the year, at least. So this has got to stop me getting COVID. But also, blessing vaccine. Thank you very much. Way nicer experience doing it with the vaccine. So I feel lucky about that.

And I feel very fortunate. Sorry our show was canceled this past weekend and uh it was like the busiest weekend for everyone in uncle function to have shows and weddings and things and i'm so sorry that it happened and you know what yeah there really is a you because i i got tested before i went to this funeral because i had seen russell and like every everyone that you've come into contact with it's it's this uh uh no one's mad at you but the circumstance sucks so much that it's always like a oh oh yeah yeah after after russell then i i went to tova and tova had uh the taping of uh joyelle's special on sunday

right at the bell house and tova goes oh fuck yeah i i had that recently similarly where i got a i had been in an outdoor thing with somebody and i got an email that was like you should probably get a test like someone that was at this thing tested positive. And I was like, ah, like again, it's people, you know, a lot of times people are asymptomatic or the symptoms show up later. And it's like everybody,

you P I think people are trying to do their best. And I came up negative, but it is like one of those, like exactly like you were saying of just like, well, I'm mad at the person who tested positive. Like that, that doesn't make sense.

So many people are testing positive, but I was just like, oh, this is really going to gonna fuck up my week if it fucks up my week what's crazy and and i not to pat myself on the back no but i do but i but what is crazy is that like uh i think the breakthrough thing is much more rampant because i think of like i had an at-home test at my house and thursday because i had covid before i was like oh this is kind of like, I had an at-home test at my house. And Thursday, because I had COVID before, I was like, oh, this is kind of like that. And I took it. But like by Friday or Friday afternoon, like I was pretty like good, but definitely had COVID still. I tested again on Saturday and still had it.

So the thing is, I just feel like I had that at-home test. I was like, yeah, I should do it. And I was so, when I saw that it was positive, I was so like, fuck this shit again. Fuck. You called me. It was like 1130 at night. I was doing death rates in people who had COVID and had vaccinated. And I was like, it was like point zero zero.

It was very small. But I was like, that's going to be me. It's going to be me. But at least it was a very precise It was very small, but I was like, that's going to be me. That's going to be me. But at least it was a very precise decimal as we discussed earlier. Yes. Well, I hope your pro-vaccine message gets as much traction as Nicki Minaj's negative one.

Yeah, what happened to your balls? Oh, yeah. We'll see. They were pretty big to begin with. This has got to stop. I't uh use facebook very often but these are very popular on facebook it's staged prank videos um i i have a mixed feelings because pranks do make me laugh but i've also uh read i did what would you do on abc um which is uh for those listening it's a hidden camera show and uh it's it's a really it feels awful to do i made i've made two people cry like in my scenario one was uh it never aired where we were catfishing people

essentially they they have been doing this show for so long they've really run out of premises and some of them are inspiring like there was one viral one where uh i think it was a black guy brought his white girlfriend to a barber shop and they had actors like kind of harass her or make fun of the guy and then regular people were like no a white person can be here which looking back on all of it now that i'm saying it out loud i'm like is this really the biggest problem white people being harassed in black barbershops okay but uh we did one where we oh my god we catfished people where like we do it was like a different picture in our tinder thing and this whole shoot i don't know if you ever had a shoot like this, Josh, where the shoot times were based on Tinder messages where you would set up a date.

And as you know, anyone who's dated, people were canceling, people were coming late, and we were hiding, going back. And the first woman, I have an earwig in my ear, and they're very like, do what we tell you to do. Right. ear they and they're very like do what we tell you to do right so i i i sit down and they're like ask uh ask when you're gonna have a second date the moment we sit down so i sit down like so uh when do you want our second date to be and then they're like propose propose to her and i'm like and uh they didn't end up airing it she cried when he came out it was it was very awful but so i know pranks are bad sometimes do make me laugh but these staged pranks are the worst things i've ever seen and it's it's the worst in both worlds yeah right in terms of

it is the discomfort of watching someone like get tricked. But then it's just like, but what? So like you pretended to be like, you know what I mean? It like I guess nobody's actually hurt, but it does feel like you're watching someone have an awful time. Yes. the death of art where they they really stretch out the um like setup process because they need the facebook video to be a certain length so sometimes sometimes i think i fall for it i think oh maybe this prank is real this seems funny and then you see them like sneak behind the person look at the camera like and like you're like oh there's no way that person doesn't go what the fuck are you doing they do it for five minutes and i something about it i hate it they're not they're the worst actors

you've ever seen in your life and just to top it all off it has 59 million views right and you're like oh man maybe this is what i have to do now um so, Josh, I hope you thought anything in the world that you would like to stop. Yes. My this has to stop is people saying like, you know, your joke about XYZ isn't helping. That's because and not I want to create like a real distinction here because I do think there's a difference between like this joke is hurting someone's feelings or this joke is like perpetuating a really vicious and harmful stereotype. Sure.

That is like really valid criticism. Yes. Your joke isn't helping is like, I'm not trying to help. I'm joking. Those are two different things but like on online especially right all the communication just gets it's in the same timeline it gets barfed out into the same stream and so like people are coming to the same place for like um medical advice and activism and jokes and porn and it's like it would almost it's like truly as misguided like as if i make it if i make a joke and someone's like uh your joke isn't making

me horny right now you know that's because it's not the porn this is one of the other things we're doing this is not making me hard right yeah yeah it's just a joke and so like i think it's more telling though of like of like some people are like this my act my comedy is activism like in this false thing of like like sometimes it does get conflated but it's very revealing to be like well that's not what this is for and i think comedy can be yeah for very righteous in its way. Like I saw – Well, you wrote for John Oliver. I mean I think like John Oliver and like The Daily Show and all that stuff, I think it mixed things in people's brains a little in terms of like, oh, should all comedy be progressive statements or – Pointed, political. I definitely think like I don't want to be doing comedy that is like hurting people or like propping up attitudes that are unhealthy and harmful.

You know, like I really think about like not trying not to say stuff that like bums people out. But I and there and there's lots of great comedy that is like explicitly expressive of like ideas and thoughts that are like really helpful for people to hear like i saw uh roy wood jr run his new hour last night and it was like i mean he's as good as anybody and like his and it's astounding and it's like the i think more than anyone maybe currently working, he balances, like, real sincere, heavy ideas with, like, truly hilarious jokes. And I'm like, this is, like, it's, like, as good specific it's in the context of like um of like oh your jokes about people eating horse medicine uh aren't actually helping people get vaccinated and it's like it's not i'm not a public health official yeah yeah i'm not the cdc yeah also your tweet about people aren't vaccinated are fucking idiots is not helping anybody either. We're all just expressing.

It's right. Sometimes it's just expressing a thought or making a joke. And I think as long as it's not like, especially if it's not a joke that is like hurtful to people again, like I don't want to sound like, oh, you can't joke about anything because people criticize you. I don't mean that. I just mean like there are, communication happens for different reasons and like jokes can hit different notes and that's okay. And not everything has to be like in the service of the public good.

Like some jokes can be funny and unharmful. Yeah. Yeah, without being like instructive. I just think, I think especially with the online, especially Twitter where a lot of this stuff happens. I always think of Twitter, it's like a newspaper without sections. So sometimes you're like, what is this Garfield comic doing in the middle of the 9-11 memorial piece? Right.

It's just this constant stream and some people just, some people don't want comedy. Like my father, I have a lot of dark jokes and I love them. But like my dad is someone, he doesn't like it. I don't know the way his brain works. He sees it more vividly. Or if I make a pedophile joke, like all he can see, his brain immediately goes to like

people whose lives have been upended by abuse. And I'm like, my brain doesn't take me to that place yet. It's funny because it's it's so not what you're supposed to say but we're all different yes totally and and I think like and I try not to begrudge when if if I say something and someone is like oh you know that really like brings up something in me that is like painful I try to really take that to heart and think about like are lots of people having this or did is it something that i could have avoided by being more intentional with what i

was saying but when people are just like hey you know that's not helping it's like yeah i'm not trying that's like you know what i mean it's like i yeah i'm not helping when i'm eating a slice of pizza and i'm not helping when i'm like tickling my dog's belly. Like it's not all, like I want to be of service to people. I want to be helpful. I want to be productive. I want to like use my resources and platform for good. But that can't, as a comedian and as a person on social media,

that's not the only thing I'm there for. And I think it's okay that it's not the only thing I'm there for. And I think it's okay that it's not the only thing I'm doing. I completely agree. Well, Josh, stop telling Josh to help, guys. You better count your blessings. You better count your blessing. You can hear that, josh yes i get so i was so paranoid that you just see me just pause you were singing a song i'd never heard before like sure yeah i guess i'll learn it and i'll sing it on the second chorus

um so uh uh this is the time we say something we're grateful for. I'll go first on this one. This is a cute little one. I got a smoothie yesterday at Essen. And I love, I'm tickled every time I get a smoothie and there's extra. And they give you that cup, that paper cup with the extra in it. Because especially since smoothies are not cheap, you're like, this is $3, according to you. This is $3 worth of a smoothie extra you're giving me.

And I feel like that cup is honestly the best part of the whole smoothie experience. Because you get the experience of finishing it. You get to finish it, but you know there's a whole smoothie left. you get that like final gulp and knowing oh there's still more yeah sometimes you get it with with all i feel like you get it with beverage more than food right they're never like and here's another four inches of submarine sandwich but it is like i've had it with a milkshake or like sometimes with a cocktail you'll be at a restaurant and they'll bring it over and there's like a little extra yeah exactly and i i always love that experience of like oh a little bonus treat yeah and maybe it's on purpose if i ran a place i'd do that on purpose i'd make the regular smoothie smaller to give you the illusion we're being generous we just made it smaller um uh

russell you got a blessing i i did mine yeah your vaccine's working congratulations are you going to get a booster when i can yeah but you should i feel like you deserve it i feel like if you got the breakthrough you you get first in line for that booster in my mind from reading a little bit i feel like it's a little bit of a booster that I just had COVID again. But when I can, yeah, I'll do the booster. But I got Moderna, which I think is better, too, in terms of...

Yeah, Moderna's supposed to be really good against the Delta variant, so I don't know what you did to fuck that up, Russell. That's been there. Josh, you got a blessing? I do. Mine is also food-related. Lately, I've been really grateful for new flavors of things that I haven't tried before. So I went out for sushi and sat on a patio, ate some sushi with my friend.

And she was like, let's get the chicken wings as an appetizer. And it came with like a wasabi hot honey that was really good. that was really good. And then recently, there is a salsa, a salsita company called Tio Pelon and Alex Hooper, the comedian who was in LA, tweeted at me that he saw this bottle of salsa, a jar of salsita.

And he was like, Josh, I think they stole your image for this because the guy, it's called Tio Pelon, which is Uncle baldy that's the name of the salsa and it the the mascot is is like a line drawing of the founder of the company and he looks exactly like me and so i tweeted about it i was like i think i think i'm a salsa mogul and they sent me a bunch of salsa and they have this it's called like salsa cremosa it's like creamier and uh and spicy and i've been eating that on like everything i'll put on eggs i'll

put on like a turkey burger it's been great so just like new flavors have been for the past year and a half during the pandemic i would just go to the bodega and be like what ice cream you got like is give me something i don't care if there's cornflakes and mushrooms. Whatever it is, if I haven't had it, I'll try it. So new flavors of things, that's what I'm grateful for. Yeah. I like that a lot. I've got to start looking for something that looks like

me. Gregory's coffee. Gregory's coffee when I have my glasses on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you've got to be like, am I Gregory? If every white guy who wore glasses could claim gregory's was him got free coffee and they go bankrupt behind you john marco that is gregory's coffee this is from a play i did coffee yeah yeah all right i'm gonna try to get some gregory's coffee yeah um uh well well josh thank you so much dude do you have anything you want to

plug oh gosh i have a a podcast called Make My Day. It's a comedy game show where there's one guest, so the guest always wins. Couple our two podcasts together. Listen to mine first. Get down. Listen to it. Depending on where you want to end. Start happy.

Go low. Go through a whole roller coaster every time you listen. It's a lot of different feelings. And then Desus and Mero comes back on Showtime in October. We've been off for a few weeks, and we'll be back in a few weeks. And you are the? I'm a writer and co-executive producer. Fantastic.

Yeah, it's great. They're the best. For Uncle Function fans, I think we are going to reschedule this show sometime. We teched it. We did everything. Ready to go. I think we'll cut the 9-11 sketch that we had that I was really proud of. We'll save it for next year.

Uh, and, uh, for me, I'm not sure when this coming out exactly yet, but it's, I'm going to be at the loony bin in Oklahoma city. I'm going to be at a Mark Ridley's comedy castle.

And then, uh, I'm sure after this, I'm going to be headlining a lot of Boston shows just on Josh Gondelman's name alone. Hell yeah. And yeah, thank you for listening. And, you know, let's hope my dad is fucking alive when this podcast comes out. This is The Downside.

One, two, three. Downside. Downside. Downside Downside Downside