The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #55 Slapping a Dead Pig with Caitlin Peluffo

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

Stand-up comic Caitlin Peluffo joins us to discuss cursing Peloton teachers, squeaky clean boyfriends, opening for Brian Regan, slapping a dead pig for art, liking everything about soccer except for the running aspect, how the DC Sniper ended my 5th grade soccer season, preparing for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert like an athlete, and jizz raccoons. I wanted to call this episode Jizz Racoons with Caitlin Peluffo but was worried Apple would take it down. Jizz raccoons. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join The Downside Patreon for early ad-free episodes the Friday before they're released on Tuesday, two BONUS episodes a month (AUDIO & VIDEO), + the good feeling inside that you're helping keep my delusions alive. Follow CAITLIN PELUFFO on twitter & instagram Listen to CAITLIN PELUFFO's podcast, Good Time Gal See CAITLIN PELUFFO perform in a city near you Follow GIANMARCO SORESI on twitter, instagram, tiktok, & youtube Check out GIANMARCO SORESI's special 'Shelf Life' on amazon & on spotify Subscribe to GIANMARCO SORESI's mailchimp Follow RUSSELL DANIELS on twitter & instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Fawn Sullivan, Paige Asachika, & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello now i feel very anxious about yeah it could just crap out i heard a story once there was a casting director she did the whole it was callbacks and it was like celebrities and when she at the end of the day she realized that she had forgotten to plug in the audio so she had to like call like names like julianne moore like hey can you come back we don't have the audio like hey can you come back we don't have the audio very have you had any episodes that like you you fucked up of your podcast oh yeah uh tons but then i send them to a guy and i'm like can you fix this and he goes yes but it will take a long time sure sure the the kind of miracles we ask tech people for like hey so i didn't record the other person. Could you make it appear? Yeah, exactly. I recorded it on my phone. Yes, yes.

That's what I usually do. Welcome to the downside. Thank you. Oh, sorry. Caitlin, we went over the whole thing. I'm sorry. We talked about it for an obnoxious amount of time. I'm so sorry.

I didn't know we were starting. I thought you were just being nice. Okay. That didn't let you on that he's recording. Yeah, yeah. That was clearly like a Pete Holmes thing where people would be like, oh, are we starting already? And he's like, yeah, that's how we do it. We just roll in.

Yeah. So you feel like you're part of the hang. This is all scripted. My name is Joe Marco Cerezi. Welcome to The Downside. I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. Hair all over everything. Hi. They're your hairs, though. Are they? No one else is Daniels. Hair all over everything. Hi.

They're your hairs, though. Are they? No one else is using them. My hair's not that long. Keep talking into the microphone. It's all over the microphone. Okay. These are your hairs because you keep getting haircuts.

I do. And we are joined today by a stand-up comedian, actor, former performance artist. We're going to talk about that later. Podcaster, Caitlin Palufo. That's me. I can talk now. Woo-hoo.

Thank you for having me. Yes. How are you doing? I'm good. I'm fine. I biked here and I almost got hit by three cars. So fucks that. Perfect.

One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to. Downside. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi. You bike to city bike or you have your own bike? I do the city bike.

The electric city bike. I didn't know there was. Wait, I didn't know there was. So much easier. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They have a pack in the front and you have to pedal for it to go, but then it just, it makes it electric and so you go much faster, and it's much easier.

I would be dead in minutes. I almost was. Do you normally bike regularly? Was there a lead up to the electric bike, or just you jumped right into electric biking? No, I drive in the city mostly, but traffic now is insane and parking is insane because of the every all this outdoor seating it's gobbled up all the goddamn

parking uh so there's nowhere to park when i come into the city so i was like how am i gonna get there my friend was like just do city bike and so i tried it one time but i had to go over a bridge and it was exhausting and i got to my spots very sweaty and then um what's his name uh stavros stavros he lives and dies by the electric bike and he was really you need to do the electric you're insane for not doing the electric bike and i was like okay and then i tried it and i was like oh i'm never going back this is i was biking home in the middle of the night and i was like i can't go over this bridge my legs are gonna off. Are you still getting a workout with the electric bike or is it like, no, no, you still have to pedal. So you're technically, when you go up hills, you're like, oh, well, this is uncomfortable. But I do the Peloton every day. You have a Peloton? I have a Peloton.

Wow. I stayed at someone's house who had a Peloton and I did enjoy it. I have thought about it. It's amazing. How often are you doing it? Every day. And do you, there's classes? Like how does that work with that? Yeah. It comes with a screen in front and there's classes and you can take anything from five

minutes to an hour and a half. Are they live or they're programmed in? Half and half. Like you do the live show, you can join a live show and then it saves it and then you can go back and do that show whenever. Oh. Yes. It's great.

And so like today, only a 20 minute, so I did a 20 minute bike ride. Do you have a favorite? Because some of the teachers, they have personalities. I would, I think it would be fun

to be a teacher and just riff. Yeah. Use it as an open mic. There's that one, there's one like, there's one, he's gay.

They're all very good looking. Cody. I was going to be like, Cody. Cody Rixby. Where he says some wild shit. He's so funny. Yeah all very good looking. I was going to be like Cody. Cody Rixby. Where he says some wild shit. He's so funny. Yeah.

Like I was taking, I would take his class just because it distracts me from working out. And he just goes off. He's like home fries. And like he just fucking goes nuts. Now is he in a studio or is he home? Home fries. Hilarious. Are there other people with him or is he just alone?

They're just alone. They're alone. They started out within the studio with people. And that was right when they first started, which was right before the pandemic. Okay. And then the people had to go. And so they just did them by themselves.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. And so now you just see people like Cody. I wonder if they miss having people. I wonder if they miss having people. I mean, I look at the old ones, and those people looked awful. Like, they look so bad. They're trying to, ugh, ugh, ugh.

And then the trainer's just, like, in shape and lovely, and they're like, ugh. It's like, is that what I look like? I don't want to know that I look like that. I want to think that I look like that. It is funny when the teacher, sometimes when the teacher's pretty new, you hear them like, okay next we're gonna

my sister teaches spin on on the beach oh they wait for the sunset and the sunrise and it's it's very nice that sounds very bougie how do they get the bikes down there i i mean it's it's there's a big truck and they're all sandy and they're all they're all breaking and shit but uh it's very funny i think she she's a good instructor she has charisma and whatnot but i always want her to be more cynical i always want a meaner teacher she'll like do inspirational things and it's very funny because she what sorry what what do you want from your teacher oh i want a teacher to be like i like a teacher who's like encouraging you to go keep doing it but there's there's like a like you know leave your old self behind find your purpose uh uh and i or she's like you know

life is like it's like mouthwash it stings but it's good for you something like that yeah okay i want someone yelling at me calling me slurs slurs you little dago i sure i'd love it i'd love it i'm italian so i can say it okay i'm not italian so i guess i can't laugh sorry i uh she but it was funny because she she made some comment about like you know slimming down or something about like you know get that burn that fat or whatever and then immediately walked it back because there is this thing about like within the fitness industry of like body positivity but at the same time we all know why we're taking a spin class yes okay yes we're not there to become master cyclists we're there to to have this butt look good all these things yeah it's just very

funny to hear the way they dance around we're trying to slim down here yeah yeah yeah yeah they're like um you showed up, you've already won. You've already done it. Okay, you showed up, you carved out 20 minutes for you and we're gonna make it work. Okay? Yeah.

It's gonna be- They do curse in Peloton. I don't think they can say fuck. I hear them say shit and lean into shit, but I don't think I've heard a fuck on that. Use a shit

and like use it how they would use it. Leave that bullshit excuse behind. Okay, that makes sense. It's very inspirational. Leave that bullshit excuse behind. It's very inspirational. You dumb shithead. What a piece of shit you are. You're shitty.

You needed a Peloton. I don't think I've ever heard them say fuck, but I would like that. I want cursing. Enough with the not cursing. Well, they have it in their music. And so every time before they say, it's an explicit,

so if you need to grab your headphones, go ahead. It's just like, who's listening to their mother fucking peloton yes yeah that sounds awful i do a lot of workout classes where they sometimes they'll play a song where you know we all know some of these songs have a lot of uh the n-word and the lyrics and you'll be in a class with like five white people and there's something where i'm like this is pretty surreal it's just strange yeah yeah that we've all said, this makes sense.

Yeah, we'll allow it. I do think if it's like, if the class is all white, you should be limited. You have to listen to just like Elvis Costello, just like the Beatles. And it's like, well, that's your fault. If you're not going to diversify,

you don't get to diversify your music. Well, thank you. Thank you for being here um uh i i wanted to uh complain first i want to say russell just helped me with self-tape so i am in a good mood i'm feeling very thankful oh that's good yeah i came a little early uh and we we did it and it was uh you know for like a so i had it's funny i've had two commercials recently commercial auditions and it's like both of them feature snl cast members it's just you know it's it's the industry i know these companies are like let's get someone funny like someone from the snl and then they just each cast member gets their own

and i'm sure sometimes oh fuck they got they're probably getting so much they got at&t and i got chips ahoy um like that's how you know you're ranking in the world um but the the the day before and this will come out and i probably will not have booked it but but neil brennan was the director so i got a callback and neil brennan pops up and i've never met neil brennan have you met neil uh no but you there's a feeling inside especially with comics where i'm like we're gonna meet someday someday yeah you're gonna bump me yeah and i i don't know if you will yeah but talking but so i didn't i didn't be like who neil no chapelle can bump me yeah i just don't see him as stand-up stand-up you know like he has a stand-up special but he's's not going to, like, the clubs. I think he is in L.A.

Oh, that's true. He's just an L.A. guy. Yeah. But, so I had one callback, and I just had that thought where I was like, oh, I want someone to say that I'm a comic. Because, you know, these directors, part of it, they pick people based on who they know and affinities. So then they asked for me to read a different part, and here's how pathetic I am. The first callback, I hawaii with my girlfriend and then i was here i took these two stand-up comedy statuettes i have from winning the laughing devil comedy festival oh boy and i situated them so they were like right in the corner of my screen in the hopes that Neil would like see it and go

like, Oh, you're a comic. Oh God. And, uh, hearing this and what's worse is I already heard this because I, when I was doing the self tape with him,

I go get that fucking weird microphone. Get that $5 trophy. Out of the frame. And he goes, and then he told me this and I was like, Oh God. He sees your resume he's also they were casting a lot of you know that award like does he know that stand-up award

is that the laughing devil 2019 trophy it just looks like a weird little microphone that was in the corner of yeah he could have been a singer i could have been uh yeah i forgot that that festival existed i thought that i thought that thought that it was debunked. There was... Well, listen, I would like... It's very hard. We know too many people to say too many things. It's a great festival.

It's a great festival. It is a great festival. No, it's not. No, I have no idea what it is. I won a significant... I do not care. I will burn this bridge. Did someone lose the She-Devil Comedy Festival over here?

I had to forfeit because I got booked somewhere else. Oh. Yeah. Where? I was doing... Oh, my God. It was like a New Jersey one-nighter, and it paid $400. Hey.

I was like, I got to do that. Yeah, of course. They were like, but you're a shoo-in. And I was like, I still to do that. And they were like, but you're a shoo-in. And I was like, I still got to do that. And I forfeited. We did a gig at Yonkers Comedy Club together.

Oh, fuck. And it was one where one of the gigs, it got canceled because no one showed up. It was a double headlining night. And then the second gig, and I got underpaid.

I think I talked about it once in here where I was supposed to get $112. I got $100. I think I talked about it once in here where I was supposed to get $112. I got $100. And one of those things where I'm like, oh, how far am I going to go to chase this $12? Yeah. Well, it's the moral of the thing.

Yeah. Yeah. But you got paid. I made sure you got paid in full, right? Yeah. I can't remember, but I'm sure it was fine. I don't feel bad about it, which makes me feel like I did get paid what I was told I would get paid.

Yeah. Good. Good. Because you remember the ones that are, know where you're like mother you remember that 12 is forever forever forever you're never going back to yonkers good god i would happily go back for a headline except you would not have a little yeah you gotta you gotta like stop saying yes to everything i'm raising my standards a little bit i'm in that new phase i'm sure you went through with with the with working at the cellar where i'm like canceling a lot of other things sometimes or you know that schedule comes out and you're like

i gotta i gotta do this yeah people have been understanding but i'm i'm you know you got to be careful how many people you cancel on i I literally tell them if they ask me a week of or whenever I would be like, yes, I get my club schedule on Tuesday. So as of now, I can do it. But it might change on Tuesday. So just circle back with me. Yeah. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you just tell them, you know, they give them an out, have someone on the back burner or in mind. I've been writing these long apologies, you know, for like for shows just like hey i'm so sorry one of my dreams just came true and i feel a little bit anxious about please understand mea culpa and they go it's fine it's fine you're not a draw yeah ultimately they're like yeah i got a list of a hundred people i'd love to fill in right now um and then sometimes they write me back this was gonna be where they go like, do you have any other suggestions of people? And I'm like, I don't know, man.

Go fucking anybody. I have a list of five that I always suggest. Really? Mm-hmm. You got to find your people who have your same energy and your same credit or like your same status. And I just recommend those people. And usually someone can do it.

I think I'm pretty high energy, Caitlin. I think we're both high energy comics. Yeah. So you could wreck me, God damn it. Oh, okay. That's the way we're going do it. I think I'm pretty high energy, Caitlin. I think we're both high energy comics. Yeah, so you could wreck me, goddammit. Oh, okay, that's the way we're going with it. I wreck you all the time. You're definitely in my general go-tos, but you're also, you're not free anymore. Yeah, well, I am.

I will do anything. Sure. That's me. I will do, except for Yonkers. I won't, I am. I will do anything. Sure. That's me. I will do, except for Yonkers. I won't do it. No, I'm just kidding.

But I, I, if I'm, if I'm able to do it, I will do it. I don't really do nights off. I don't, I got a spot at LOL.

I'm dropping 1am Friday night. So I'll make sure you get that one. I, um, so I don't work LOL. I'm not past there. Okay. Pass the only club in the city so okay this is a this is a

truthful story someone someone came up to me i'm very bad with faces and names and whatever someone came up to me at lol and she was like hey how are you doing and i pretended i know i know hello how are you doing and i must have mixed her up with some other comic that is like oh works a lot and she was like i'm trying to get in this club. I'm like, Oh, I'll wreck you. And I,

I was so anxious about not knowing this person. I gave them a wreck without knowing who they were and they work there regularly now. And, um, uh, are they funny? I listen,

you, what's this Caitlin? Caitlin. So I've tried to burn all the goddamn bridges. Yes. They're very funny. Oh, there you go. Then it doesn't matter. That's not burning a bridge. You're just, everyone's funny. I've tried to burn all the goddamn bridges. Yes, they're very funny. Oh, there you go. Then it doesn't matter.

That's not burning a bridge. You're just pumping something up. Everyone's funny. I love the Devil Festival. Did you say everyone's funny? Everyone's funny. I've never met a comedian I didn't like. Yeah.

The Devil Festival, I will say, is good for comics who already live in New York. Yes. Nobody should be traveling from LA or Utah to do this festival. It should just be for New Yorkers only. And that's what I say about that because they don't get enough. Caitlin's opinion. And it's mine alone. And I love who I know who runs it.

And I think they're very nice. And I think they're very supportive of the comedy community. Oh, good. Yes. Oh, we both. We both are indebted to this person. Yeah, I think they're great. I think I love them.

So I'm not talking shit about him. I'm talking shit about... Him or her. No, it's him. It's him. And he's a lovely human being. Yeah. And he's very successful.

And I'd like to have him on the podcast. Is it the devil? You should. He's Mr. Devil. He's the devil. He's the devil. He's Mr. Devil. So the thing I want to bring up...

So I just got back from Hawaii. That's pretty fun. I was on this, yes. Did some shows, but it was there for a friend's wedding. Went with my girlfriend, who I won't name just for this story, but people know who she is.

I was going to say, what? Wait, who could he be talking about? I asked permission to tell the story. So we're on this, it's a straight flight from Honolulu to New York. About 10 hours. Pretty decent enough flight. But these long flights, my God.

It starts smelling like farts. By the end, the whole plane smells like farts. 10 hours. Everyone's gone to sleep once. Yes. And it really reeks. Yeah. So she's a good sleeper.

We both took some Ambien. We're getting up. She's moving pretty slow. But it's fine. No rush took some Ambien. We're getting up. She's moving pretty slow, but it's fine. No rush. It's 6.55 in the morning. Okay. And the plane starts exiting. People start moving past us because, you know, we're kind of in the aisle.

Just start moving. At some point, she feels it's ready for us to emerge into the moving aisle. ready for us to emerge into the moving aisle and she felt that the aisle was not being respectful of the fact that we were ahead of them and giving us room in my opinion we were moving kind of slow i don't think we were necessarily making it clear we're ready to merge whatever but she gets she's upset she just woke up from a very long nap and said something along the lines of like you guys have any manners or

something I don't want to misquote I don't want to misquote exactly the one quote so was it to someone in general just kind of like felt like to the general to general to almost like the laws of gravity almost like just a general mass kind of yelling into the void. Yeah. And I think we're not talking like, but just a snarky comment.

Yeah. So then we finally merge and someone who had passed us, kind of in a show of cordiality, cordialness, stepped into the aisle so we could go past, kind of to make up for whatever happened before. And she said like something, it's like, is this your first time leaving an airplane? And I was like, I went, honey. And he said something, but we had moved away. And of course, there was a bit of a discussion over I should support her and not try to make her feel like she was being crazy and that they were being rude. And I tried to explain that I know that's my role as the boyfriend.

And that's how in the wrong I thought you were that I said, honey, she was upset. And I didn't know what to do because I do. And listen, I'm not like Mr. Peaceful. We've talked on, especially in airplanes. You've almost gotten escorted away from.

I almost got escorted out of an airplane for shouting fuck in an airport. Yeah. But it is this moment where it's like, for me, it's getting in fights is this moment where it's like, for me, it's getting in fights in public. I'm always like, you want me to join you in this fight?

You want me to team up against this guy? Is this guy going to yell at me? Because I feel like it's going to, I feel like here's what I, here's why I didn't want to engage. And maybe she is right. Tova, you were right. Oh, name drop.

Now we all know. Let me show, here's what my fear is i think i know it now is i'm scared she's gonna say something to him he's gonna call her a bitch or a cunt and then i'm gonna have to do something about it so i'm like let's avoid him saying something to you that i have to confront let's's just go home. Yeah. And I didn't know what to do. And I feel like I bet Nicole, your wife, is probably more confrontational than you.

Yes, way more confrontational. And have you ever been in a public space and listen, again, I want to repeat because Tova listens to these. I do things too. I have a temper you definitely do i have a temper you do though but i uh i yeah yeah it happens all the time um and i understand what you're saying where it is a weird thing where you're like i'm a big guy there's like you know you feel like you want to you don't want you want to keep things moving so it doesn't become an issue.

Yeah. But it does. It is interesting. I found that it doesn't usually escalate. Usually, like, she can say something and then, like, I don't have to be, like, careful. Because I do think that it helps that I'm a big guy. Because it's usually, like, people aren't going to be like, oh, you know. Does that make sense?

Also, Tova can handle herself. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, absolutely. So if someone called her a bitch, she wouldn't be like oh you know does that make sense also toba can handle herself yeah you know what i mean oh so someone called her a bitch she wouldn't be like look at you what are you gonna do about it she's gonna be like oh i'm a bitch i'll fucking cut you right sure and and but then am i just gonna stand there am i gonna film it for tiktok like what is my role you stand there and if he puts hands on her then you jump it you know what what I mean? What if we just got off the plane and went home and felt fine? But honestly, it's like you basically told her to relax. Yeah.

No, no, that is what that is. I will throw a goddamn tape. That just makes her madder. I agree. So it doesn't help. So she just got that out of her system. I agree. And then she just gets to move on.

What if? No, but she's right because the thing is it doesn't it doesn't it actually makes it worse because then there's a thing of like uh not only now it's like i got an issue with this person this stranger but now i have an issue with you like you know like there it does make it worse i i have found too because i i have made a thing or been like why don't we you know, and it doesn't make it better. It doesn't make, because it is the equivalent of us just being like, you're being crazy. You know, like. What are you on your period?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus, lady. Even if I understand where you're coming from, because I've felt that way too, but it doesn't help the thing and it just invalidates how they're feeling. But this guy, because he was trying to fix what he had done earlier. How do you know that he was trying to fix it? Because he was ahead of us and he heard us earlier and he's like, you know what? I will step in the aisle so they can go past. Are you sure he wasn't just waiting for the people behind him?

I'm pretty sure. I don't know. Why are you dying on this hill i think he was trying hawaiian guy because i think he was trying to fix the problem and because he was the better person he was the one bearing the brunt of everyone who had just fucking gone forward they were the ones who deserve the wrath what do you want in this situation now do you know what i mean like what you want us to agree with him and you and like what what do you want of the situation now? Do you know what I mean? You want us to agree with him? What do you want?

I just want you to sympathize with my position. Is that not the goal of all complaints? I'm saying there's no benefit, though, of being like, you know. I'm going to find him. I'm going to apologize. I'll tell you what. He probably does not remember. Yeah. He's probably moved on completely. He has has a podcast right now and he's talking about it

when now you are in a relationship who is the who is the angrier of the two of you 100 steve is more anxious you know so his anger is within you know and it it comes out in anxiety and worry um but i am more willing to be like hey shut the fuck up you know like when was the last time a public thing you got into but i i don't really i am uh i do it when i drive and when i'm um on the bike i'll scream you know yeah yeah yeah but it's more mostly like you're gonna hit me you know and i'm screaming at people, you know. Sure. But I am also, like, I'm more confrontational if I need to be, but I let a lot of things go, whereas Steve will let everything go, you know. But I'm always like, and then sometimes I see that something will happen and it'll bother him and I see him feeling anxious about it.

And I just go, it's okay. It doesn't matter, you know. Like, we're going to move on and that sucked, but, you know. Do you ever, I mean, this is, so for me, whenever I'm leaving a train, a subway and people get on before we're able to get off, I always go, you got to let people leave first. And I continue walking. I'm that guy. I'm that guy too. The other day with my family, I was like coming out, coming out, coming out. And they just stopped. And I was like, yeah, because like, no, you're not going to separate me and my family

my little mother who's just terrified like i'm on the subway you know yeah is your whole family here uh just my mom and my dad they were here for three or four days and how did how'd that go do they like coming to the shows yeah my mom loves it and really my dad he can see me once or twice and then he's like it's all make- right because I talk about sex so much so he gets uncomfortable by it he laughs and then if he thinks about it too long he's like god damn it you don't sit on your boyfriend's face

it's all make believe right honey does your does after shows I've been thinking about it my comedy central set came out and I texted my mom I said did you see it. My Comedy Central set came out and I texted my mom. I said, did you see it? And she said, yes.

That's it? And then I called her. I was like, did you hate it? And she was like, yeah, but I had seen all those jokes before. And I was like, that's... It was one of those where I'm like, oh, you don't get what your role is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're supposed to be like, that was great. It was lovely. You really looked confident up there my handsome boy yes yes yes without punctuation too is very funny it was no no no even a yes with an exclamation it's like yeah you know yeah no yes do your parents say nice things to you after shows um yeah but actually but there was one time where i mean it's been so long because of because of covet and stuff but they uh there was one time that my first mod show a ucb um it was funny because you know you're like oh i'm gonna i got on a mod team and uh my parents came and the first thing that they said was like, um, we like your other sketch group better.

Oh, and hopefully no one in Maud is listening to this podcast. But I was like, oh, um, yeah, uh, there are different things like,

you know, like trying to be like, that's not really what I wanted to hear in this moment, but like, yeah, like, uh, thank you for supporting the one group,

but, you know, this is exciting too. And that's so funny it's very yeah i will say i'll share the story that you you did uh the sketch team show uncle function i wasn't there but i heard there was they you know there was something it there's a felt like it was a tough crowd they thought it was a tough crowd for a second maybe one sketch and apparently uh i don't think i'm sharing this out of turn no Chris came backstage and Russell Russell's one of these comedians

it's always the audience's fault. And Russell was like they're a little bit tight right now. This is while you're on stage. And then they heard a gaffaw. A scream laugh. A killer laugh from the room. It was a scream laugh. Just a real like nope.

I felt like if I look at the show I was like it was a little slow getting started and then and then like and then we had we had one or two right before i was like oh it's going better but it was so funny that i was like yeah they're a little quieter and it couldn't have been a louder sound coming from right after i said that it was like a scream laugh for you and it made me laugh so hard because i was like i was like i'm dumb i'm a dumb piece of shit um but the second half of the show was but that's the thing sketch was rough i for me for for i it was like a it's a weird thing we were like uh um you know we tried to do like probably 60 new stuff every time and uh we you know the old stuff that you pull from usually

it's like oh this is killed before and it was like it was a weird thing know the old stuff that you pull from usually it's like oh this is killed before and it was like it was a weird thing where the old stuff like completely was like flat flat flat and so it's just like and then some of the new stuff did did well but it was just a funny thing where you're like you can't rely on it and you're and it sometimes you can and then it just was one of those shows where the the old stuff people like. They just don't experience as much as, especially with just with stand-up. With stand-up, we experience so viscerally volume differences where someone will go on. And it's like, oh, they're an amazing audience. It was just amazing.

Well, we also get to change speeds. With a sketch, you are doing that sketch. There's no, like I did a joke and then i was like oh this is a young crowd so i'll do this yes you know very young crowd yeah and then i'm thinking on my feet and just doing a little crowd work here and there but um yeah but we get to do that you guys are like we have a script yeah and we have to do russell's always had a fantasy yeah say it say you're in a fantasy because i i like sketch comedy but there's a thing sometimes where what i hate about it is that you are so locked in and i i think every sketch comic show

you should have at least one like i'd love to have a big rope at the front of the stage and one time during the show you get to just go and pull it and in the middle of a thing that's bombing because there's nothing worse than you getting to that first moment of the sketch where you're like, and here's the premise of the sketch and no one laughs. And you're like, Oh fuck. There's four more minutes of garbage, this dog thing. And you just have to keep doing it.

And you're like there. And so I think every sketch show you should get at least one time where you can pull that thing and be like, we're skipping this. Go ahead. Um, but yeah, you're locked in.

And I, and I felt like it was just one of those shows they were younger crowd and um there were just a few things that did not pop but uh you killed it so thank you for it was very fun for doing that yeah anytime you want me to save the show i'll come and do it um yeah you're you're if i'm following you I get anxious oh really yeah yeah oh thank you that means a lot because you're a heavy hitter I appreciate last night Jared Freed

stopped by and he was running his five he was doing the tonight show tonight he pops in and he's like hey Jared's gonna go up real quick and I knew he was running it and I'm like ah fuck because you know it's gonna be a tight five and then you go up and you're like you know I. And I'm like, ah, fuck. Because you know it's going to be a tight five. And then you go up and you're like, you know. I love those.

I love going after that. Because then they find out and they get really excited. So they're like, who am I going to see next? So you just kind of ride the wave. I started my set. I said, this set will never be on television. Yeah, it did. Yeah, yeah.

Well, so let's talk about you. Oh, sure. Finally. I mean, we have been. Yeah mean we have been yeah we have been okay but from the beginning from the start from the start from the start you yes i did all my research goodness i thought we were friends we're we're more recent friends yes well i remember the first time and i feel like you disputed my my recollection of this so when i first very early in stand-up i believe we were doing a show at

under saint marks okay and you and lucas connelly were in the back and you guys were like real comics and i was like no okay i've only been doing this for like three months i'm doing great and uh you were talking about like you know someone's late night set on uh um uh jimmy jimmy kimmel okay that's how long ago it was back when they were still doing yeah you know, someone's late night set on Jimmy Kimmel. Okay. That's how long ago it was, back when they were still doing Samba. And Lucas went on stage. It was like a terrible show, nightmare show.

Someone was taking notes on their phone. Yes, I remember this. Yes, but there's one part that, so someone was taking notes on their phone, and Lucas was like, what are you doing? And they were like, I'm taking notes on, he's like, are you writing down my jokes? And they're like, no, I'm writing down like your persona

like they were an NYU script acting student or something so he joked with them and then went off and then you were next and you you went into this you went hard and I remember being in the back and someone was like Caitlin made her cry

and I remember that and I thought i brought it once up and you were like no i didn't make her cry do you remember this i remember that and she did cry there you go i knew it i she cried because she didn't understand what she was doing she was like i'm gonna make a character based on this person i'm gonna write oh and i'm gonna i need to remember your jokes so that i can put them into my script. That was her thing. And Lucas was like, well, I don't even want to perform anymore because I'm so uncomfortable. And so he got off early, I believe. And he was just like, it made everybody so uncomfortable. And then I didn't want her to do that to me.

And so I didn't really, I wasn't mean, but I told her, this is what it is. Like, this is what you're doing. Like, we work for years on this and we develop this and it's a slow process yeah and if you take it and just put it in and then that gets run then we're out of luck you know because you took our thing and like she just didn't understand and then I explained that to her and she felt I think I said the word stealing it's stealing and she just and then she went outside and then she started to cry she didn't cry in the room but she cried outside and then she saw me afterwards and i still had a good set

if i remember i still did well i don't remember leaving that being like i bombed i remember being like okay well now she knows and the rest of us are gonna have a nice time and then she um came up to me afterwards and was like, I didn't want to be, I wasn't trying to be malicious. And I was like, I know, but you need to know that this is what it is. This is our,

this is our only thing. You know what I mean? Like this is our amazing that she had the phone and didn't just think to record it. Like just record. Listen, if you want to steal stuff first, you can't tell us later.

Yeah. You can't tell us. Don't be taking notes saying i'm like and then say i'm stealing that's so funny yeah and she was just young she was like 18 or 19 so she didn't understand she just thought that material appeared out of nowhere and it wasn't something that you weren't you just grabbed it and you were inspired because you're an artist and it's like yeah oh no no you're trying to take me you know like this you're an artist and it's like, Oh no, no. You're trying to take me, you know, like this. You're trying to,

and Lucas is a interesting fellow. He's a character in his own. So if you take Lucas, I mean, there's only one Lucas, you know what I mean? So you can't really be like, Oh,

I also have four moms and it's so specific, you know, it's so specific. I have four moms. I'm a former, like he, you know, like he has all these

stories that are very his personality so yeah i haven't had anyone steal anything from me yet but it's you know well sure i don't know number one number two there was there was something recently it was like a sketch type thing that someone was in the writer's room that I know well. And there was like a joke that was close. But you can't tell. And I really do. I do find myself a lot of times when people accuse SNL of stealing stuff that I'm like, this isn't the craziest, most original thought in the world.

Right, right. I usually feel like the person is incorrect. Or there's many other possibilities once in a while but then it happens to you and then you're like oh i can't tell yes it does feel like my joke um maybe that woman so she might have been in a weird acting thing too because i remember in when i was in acting school we were assigned to like there was this assignment where we're supposed to like observe someone and like recreate like, like two minutes of this person's life without them knowing that you were

supposed to recreate it. That's so fucking creepy. It was so stressful to me. Like, cause we had like four or five days to do it. And I started like trying to do it. And I was like, it made me feel so uncomfortable that I was like,

just like in my apartment complex, like looking for neighbors and stuff. And then I was like, I'm i'm just gonna make this up because they will have no way of knowing yeah do you know i mean like i think i read once an actor said like if you're gonna research someone tell them because otherwise it's it's weird yeah i could just see i could see you especially like like trying to be secretive someone being like i and also then i was like i felt dumb i was like where do i find people you know like where where can i find people and and be doing i and also then i was like i felt dumb i was like where do i find people you know like where where can i find people and and be doing this and it be acceptable you know and so i just quit and made up something can you so you were a you went to college for what uh art i did

uh i started out as a photographer and then i went into video and performance talk about performance because this is a i heard about you talk talking about this on a show and i was just like oh my god this is a whole other life yeah performance art is um something that only lives in the moment so it is not something you can recreate although marina abramovich tried at the moma um and i think it was a successful show it was basically like a greatest hits Marina Abramovich I know I was switching Marina Abramovich I've always loved she did one where this is like

in the acting world especially into it where she communed with people she sat in a chair and the guy came back and people could come in apparently she had like a look at that apparently in her chair she had something so she could pee as well because she was like sitting there all day. All day.

And she would just stare at people. Yeah. It was like eye contact. And there was one part where an old lover came and like, they just, I mean, it was really, for me, I could still, I'm still stunned by it. But then I saw Marina Abramovich did an ad for, what are those little pastry puff, little puff pastry things? What are those things called? Different colors. They have like every

different flavor, different colors. Oh, like the cookies? Yeah. Macaroons? Macaroons. I want to always call it Moroccans, but I know it's macaroons. It's macaroons. I saw she did like an ad for some macaroon company and was like used the same

language she does for her art and the meaning to advertise the macaroons and something about that made me go oh yeah no fuck you yeah i felt betrayed i'm like everyone says you're full of shit and i thought you were great and you're just a fucking hack just like everyone else well she uh also didn't treat her performers well it's basically like torture the way that she trained these performers that did moma you can't create an artist camp she had like can't like you know young young artists going to a camp in the middle of the woods it's never gonna work out yeah it's the food's not gonna eventually yeah and they did an exhibit where they were like naked and you walk through them in a doorway and it's look i don't know i sometimes i'm like great weird art has weird fucked up consequences yeah and uh yeah she just wasn't like when it was her like that was

great when it was i think it was the 60s or 70s she was doing it and it was her body and it's like great but you can't train other people to do what you already did you know what is there one where her and her lover just ran into each other at full speed yes but also wasn't that same lover isn't it like their story of like they walked from opposite ends of the great wall of china or something and then met in the middle and then we're like we're breaking up and then like something like that i feel like i know maybe're like, this was a dumb fucking idea. Yeah. We should break up.

But they met in the middle to just say, we're not together anymore or something. It represents the journey. Yeah. I love to think of it as the builders

building the Great Wall of China. Yeah. You're just slaving away. I think literally slaves, probably. But what kind of like performance art when you like were what were you interested in what were you i was doing what you know what i mean i thought i was very serious yeah that's what's so interesting because comedians i think that's

amazing to have both of those things well wait till you hear what they are okay i was i took myself very seriously but i wasn't i didn't have the knowledge, I guess, to really back it up. You know what I mean? So I eventually veered more and more towards humor, my videos. But like my first video that I did, it was an installation. It was where I hung up a 200 pound pig and I slapped the shit out of it. And I, yeah, I know it was so serious I was wearing a white dress and I had red paint and yeah it was a real pig but it was killed you know it was dead I got it

out of butcher yeah I'm not kidding of real pig I don't know you just you just said a crazy thing Jesus Christ oh my god no no so I we hung it and then i i slapped it where wait where did you get it i got it at the butcher shop and on bleaker was this about capitalism or no it was about the role of women okay uh within society and so i would go between getting slapping the pig slapping the pig and then um and then i would clean the pig and i would clean the pig and clean the pig and it would go back and forth and so my the art itself was the video yeah so i created a video and then i made an installation with it it was not successful it was pretty stupid um but the video was actually very effective i wouldn't say it's successful but it was effective it like elicits a reaction because yeah jesus christ

okay so a couple questions so butcher shop do they have any questions that they're like no they laughed and put it in my trunk how much did the pig cost two hundred dollars a dollar a pound yeah yeah wow good man and then you hung it up and you had paint on your hand yeah i had paint on my hand and i slapped it you slapped it did you show your parents this video yeah they've all seen it yeah what did they how did they react to that they were just like oh look at that now yeah where's this video oh it's online i have it i think i posted part of it i think if i used it in the promo is that uh if i if i can find it i might not have it still because i lost my hard drive two years after grad school.

Oh my God. It was devastating. Yeah. I lost everything. Um, which probably put me into like a two year, like what the fuck am I doing? And then I ended up doing standup.

I do love someone finding that hard drive. Like what's this person got? Oh my God. Yeah. I got to bring this. No, it broke. It literally broke.

Oh yeah. Uh, so what were you always comedically minded? Was there any part of you while you're doing this going like, what the fuck am I doing? Or were you like, raise the pig? Yes. Raise the pig.

Well, the thing is, I would do it, but I would be cracking jokes and being silly and fun, like myself. And then it came time to do it and be like, okay, here we go. You know? And I 100% had conviction and like, this is what I and be like okay here we go you know and i i thoroughly i 100 had conviction and like this is what i'm doing and here we go i took myself way too seriously and then i started making art that was not serious like that one video i have where i'm trying to pop a blow-up doll and uh so it's just me wrestling this fucking blow-up doll

yeah it cut in between images of me blowing it up so it's literally like i created this self-image and then now i'm trying to destroy it and it's a whole thing back and forth but um but yeah it was uh so that's funny because you just see like this blow-up doll pressed up against the glass window getting beat the shit out of it i'm just rage are they're fighting a piece of plastic are there comedic performance artists that like are successful yeah oh yeah because like Marina really is is a humorless I believe her name is Kate McGill um but she did one where she uh maybe it's not McGill I forget her last name but she was uh great she did one where she was like like it was her in front of like a backdrop trying to perform and then people were throwing um tomatoes at her rotten tomatoes at her and it's just her

it's like for 20 minutes and she's just like getting pelted with tomatoes and what kind of performance is she doing she does like uh i don't know any more what she does but she did a lot of physical um endurance uh ask but it was a little bit more um funny you know she had a more light-hearted than marina i would say do you miss do you do is there any party that wants to ever do performance art again never never never ever ever do you still respect it yeah yeah i do i respect it when it's done well and not taken so literally, you know? Yeah. But my favorite is I love sculpture and painting and photography.

You know, I love the classics, as they say. But performance art and media art, I'm like, okay. Yeah. You know, sometimes I do a little eye roll, but only because I've been there and I know the mentality is just like, and then look at me, you know? It's just like, oh, I don't know how much of it was me expressing my thoughts as it was trying to get attention on me. You know what I mean?

If I had been, you know. Now I'm just full on attention on me. Here we go. Of course, of course. Yeah, no more blanket. I think like if I had become famous, like in my early twenties, I like had ideas of like art pieces pieces like weird art pieces that like if I had been like Shia LaBeouf and I had the money and people would come to it. Like I had one idea I like and I like wrote it out where it's like I was into like you know there's all these like mathematical constants without if anything was slightly different the universe would change. And I was like I'm going to build a room and there's going to be dice representing all the different things.

And if you move one of the dice the lights go out and i and there was a time where like if i had if i had the but i think the thing with performance art is there's just a constant you have to buy into it in order to activate the magic of it like you are very much if you go to the mama cynical you will think it's all shit it's very easy to think it's all shit yeah and i think that's like especially as comedians who comedians in general there's a general like this is bullshit this is bullshit that's bullshit part of it's like okay well then you'll never get to feel whatever this is yeah yeah oh god i'm gonna leave comedy become a performance artist don't there's no money yeah i don't know you can't you have nothing to sell there's no money so even with

video art there's nothing to sell that's like but that's like part of what some acting is where sometimes people are like why are you doing this dumb animal exercise or or it's like well why did marina bravovich have naked people be a doorway it's like something there's something interesting because it's because it wasn't done before so you get two 21 year olds who don't know any better to stand naked for eight hours a day for minimum wage and yeah they're gonna complain after believe you me yeah you should try to stretch you could do performance already stuff in your comedy you know like like what's his name from a long time ago you know the famous guy you know

George Carlin is that who you're talking about no you know Andy Kaufman Andy Kaufman sure like you hear those stories

and you're like that sounds like a nightmare Andy Kaufman's one of those where I don't really get it of like boring books to college students

you know like to like get people mad to get some reaction from people Andy Kaufman is like you know he'd come like get people mad, get some reaction from people. Any coffee is like, you know, he'd come on stage. He'd make everyone do a,

uh, what's the thing where you all like dance in a line, a long train at shot Congo, a Congo. Yeah. So like Andy Kauf is the kind of guy like, you know, he's going before me and he does a Congo line and the audience is now,

you know, not in the mood for standup. And I would be the guy certainly being like, what the, yeah. Okay. Okay. That's not, that that's fine that's its own thing yeah but i don't know that's where i struggle i sometimes especially when it comes to stand-up i can be kind of a little bit more like that's not stand-up there i mean it's very um like dan lakata is a little performance and same with joe perra And I would say even, um,

God, he's so funny. Uh, Ooh, he did Kimmel, um, Urbano. Yeah.

I would say a little performance already, you know, definitely, but he's outside the box of what the norm is. Sure. Martin's still always got jokes. Martin's always got jokes though. I remember there's a, I've seen it.

I think it was Joe Pera. It was a Caroline's March madness, the contest that they, they it. I think it was Joe Pera. It was a Caroline's March Madness, the contest that they have, where I think it was Joe Pera where the first round, you only have one minute. And he just took out like a letter N, a big N, and it says Caroline's on the back wall. And he just took it and put it on the wall.

And that was it. He added an N on top of the N. And it got like a standing ovation. He got a TV deal out was it. He added an N on top of the N and it got like a standing ovation. He got a TV deal out of it. And like, I'm definitely, if I had been against him and lost that round, I would have been, I would have been livid. I would have gone home and gone,

what the fuck was that? I was trying to figure out if it spelled something different. No, it just was an N on top of it. And like, it was just one of those things where the audience was like, wow, never thought of that. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, Andrew Casitano is very- Andrew Casitano. I lost to him in a roast. I beat him in a roast because I played his game. Andrew Casitano, he loves the insults. He'll take it in. And then he'll compliment you and insult himself.

And it's just a whole different roast strategy. Mia Faith Hammond. Sometimes these people take risks that like as someone who like you know i'm like does this punchline work sometimes people will take these risks where i'm like how did you know that would work yeah i don't even know what that is if you said that to me i'd be like what the fuck is that that's not a joke that's a nothing and then they murder yeah yeah it makes me very well you just also described half of Brooklyn. Sure. Sure. And all of Twitter.

So let's just. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no. What about hello, handsome? Who knew you could give yourself the ick?

That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Interior Chinatown is an all-new based on the bestselling novel by Charles Yu about a struggling Asian actor who gets a bigger part than he expected when he witnesses a crime in Chinatown. Streaming November 19th only on Disney Plus. So you grew up south of San Francisco,

yes? San Bruno. We're where the airport is. like if you're in san francisco you go to san bruno yeah for the airport what's shitty about san bruno uh it's suburbia to a t it is literally strip mall after strip mall um track homes you know it's very it's working class which is lovely you know hard-working people diverse um not very many black people but hispanic and asian and uh but yeah no it's um it is there's no flavor nothing you know and you were you were a soccer a soccer person i was a soccer i played a lot of sports but soccer was the only one i was really really good at how good were you i played college wow yeah uh for one year i played for uc san diego hated it and then is this uh and what league is this and uh ncaa is that a thing d2

you're like is this ncis yeah csi abc yeah well i was just at my friend's wedding and he was a he was a like soccer like he was top 50 in the nation at some point. He went to Stanford for it and then, you know, went for, did it for two years for the scholarship and then dropped out. Yeah. So yeah. No, no, no. You're a big soccer fan.

Yeah. No, I was going to ask, like you said you did it, did it for a year. What was, what'd you hate about? Is it just like, was it your all consuming? It's all consuming and i don't like to run i hate running imagine there was a lot of it was it was all running and i i'd never liked doing the fitness part of it and when you're in what part of soccer did you like i liked hitting kicking and kicking and scoring um but i did not like running and when you're on the field and you're

running it doesn't matter but it's the conditioning to get yourself to the point and i hated doing it i could not psych myself up enough to be like yeah sprints are good for me this is great long long range sprints are just wonderful and i just every time i was like fuck this shit and then with college it's basically double that you know you double whatever you were doing in high school for your club team plus i imagine if you're not that into i'm like anytime i've been doing something where i'm like not that into it and then like you're around people i imagine there was people like that were so into it that are annoying like it's just like you're like okay you love it you know you love running you love soccer you know i almost i almost uh got in trouble in middle school you had to play soccer at some year

in fifth grade and when i did defense and when the ball was on the other side of the field i would sit down and they were like you can't do that and i was always like but the ball's on the other side of the field i'm not doing anything right now i'm conserving my energy so when it comes back i'm lightning yeah and the only reason they they called my parents because i was going to get like i was going to fail and i was a good student and this was just like they were like well he's got it and it's only because of the dc sniper um this do you ever hear about the dc sniper no there was a month uh i was in probably in fifth grade i believe where there was a guy i believe he was a veteran yeah he had he had like a younger kind of person they were driving around in a white fan oh yeah they shot like 10 people at random okay they're talking about a soccer team i was I believe he was a veteran. He had like a younger kind of person. They were driving around in a white van.

Oh, yes, yes. And they shot like 10 people at random. Okay, so you're talking about a soccer team. I was like, really? And they got you a morbid name. All outdoor stuff in Virginia, Maryland, and D.C. just got canceled. They just were like, we don't want any kids out here getting shot.

That's the reason you passed. And so, yeah, they moved it inside. It became general PE, dodgeball, and shit. And so that's the only reason. Wow. That's great. Wow, okay. Yeah. Silver lining. Yeah. D.C. sniper. side it became general pe dodgeball and shit and so that's the only reason wow that's great wow okay yeah silver lining sniper yeah yeah jamarco didn't fail pe so when did you realize did you know this like did you ever think like maybe i'll be a professional

soccer star is this the time of what's her name mia ham i grew up with mia ham but my big influence was abby wombeck uh she was my favorite um what would she was american team american team yeah she was the big tall bitch in the front she was huge and uh i loved her she was so strong and she hit people and she has i think she still has a record for the most goals scored on the u.s team um but she's she's great did you think it was possible to be pro when you're in a small town yeah you do um just because you don't it was a big fish small pond situation i was the best in san bruno you know and uh i was really and then i had seen other people do it like there was a girl who was four years ahead of me who went to Portland. And then a girl I played soccer with in club, she was on the Mexican national team.

And so, and then I was also practicing with a semi-pro team. So it was literally all around me. It's like, oh, there's avenues to get into it. And I was like, well, this is the only thing I'm good at. So I'm just going to do that. Because I, now looking back, I was like, I was a very good student. student but i wasn't my sister was like valley victorian and so i wasn't my sister but i was still honor roll and stuff like that you know i just wasn't straight a's and um and taking ap classes and all that stuff like my my ap like with it was like a three six and then with

ap credits it was like a four one or something like that yeah i was good yeah and uh uh but of course in my mind i was like well sarah got a four four you know like yeah yeah yeah perfect um and i got into uc san diego which is a very good school no but d2 in your mind i guess i don't understand sports at all but like is you're D2, is it like, well, you're not going to go pro because if you were going to go pro, you'd be at a D1 school? Oh, no. You can, well, yes and no. Now you could do D2 and you're still going to get recruited because it's a bigger league, you know,

and there's now a league in Europe too. And so there's more options for women to play. And in my case, our D2 team was very, we would win every year or at least be in the top four every year nationally. So if people came to those games, you would get recruited from that. But if you were just like a average D2 team, no, probably not. Do colleges ever change from D2 to D1 based on performance? No, it's based on size

of the school really that's why it's still you can still get recruited yeah so even some d3 teams are you get people get recruited to d3 teams you don't get scholarships but you get into the school so you you did it for one year were you good that year no and was it like uh i was good was it a tough realization was it hard oh yeah it was um it was tough because i got red shirted which is uh they're like okay we think you're gonna be better later on so we're gonna give you a year to develop and then you're gonna make you a super senior so you can play four years after that yeah and so they basically i started doing club i think my sophomore year and usually people start doing club in middle school and so i had a lot of catching up to do um in terms of being a club

player uh so playing at premier league okay for a longer time uh and i just didn't have that because we were poor my family was poor and so it cost a lot of money to do premier and stuff like that so you got the scholarship and then oh i didn't get a scholarship it's oh this is fun i got into um the school the way you know the the college uh ring the uh controversy about how rich kids were getting into schools well they were using the way i actually got in to get into their schools so you can get uh i got soccer listed so that means i met all the basic requirements of the school but the soccer team they can't uh give me a scholarship but they can get me into a prestigious school so uc san diego was a prestigious school so they were like we'll put you on the soccer list team so the coach has a list of players that he wants for sure to get

into the school i see and then gotcha yeah and so people the rich people were like taking pictures of their kids rowing and shit you know they've never rowed but like they would pay the coaches to put their kid on that soccer list team uh which would automatically get them into how do you feel i i listened to something recently about all that college stuff and i think sometimes i go you know everyone gets mad at the parents for cheating and whatnot and i go you know what get mad at the colleges for this whole focaccia system fuck the colleges you can blame these parents for wanting their kid to go to the fucking school and they exploited the system but like this this whole this whole thing is fucked up it's crazy studying for the sats is fucked up even if it's in front of you. It clearly was created by people from certain socioeconomic backgrounds.

It's all bullshit. So I'm like, okay, you want to get mad at these parents? Go for it. But that's not the problem here. Yeah. It's these colleges. Did you feel – so you paid full for this college? It was a public school though, so it wasn't –

Oh, okay. And my parents paid for my college. I was very lucky. They saved up and they paid for my college it was a public school though so it wasn't oh okay and my parents paid for my college i was very lucky they saved up and they paid for my college but i paid for my grad school which is why i have debt yes yummy so you did one year in this league in d2 for the college yeah i did one year on the they call it the varsity team uh which is the the regular just like high school there's varsity and then there's club um and i in college uh so i played for one year for the varsity team and uh it was like a sink or swim like okay now i know the level and i know i need to get in shape in order to do it and

i have to do this extra stuff and i was just not interested yeah yeah and so i was like and there's a sign when you're like i'm gonna go to i could have gone to a d1 school uh riverside but i was like no i'd rather be by the beach if in case i don't play soccer and then i was like now looking back i was like oh i didn't want to play soccer i wanted to just you know um it was wow yeah no that's telling um but yeah so i played one year for them and then i got cut from that team the following year. And how did you find out? He sat me down and told me I was the last one cut.

Were you upset? I was devastated for about an hour. Really? And then I and I was only devastated because I had to tell my mom. I knew she would be devastated. Was she devastated? She was. She was.

Just because she put so much time. Yes. So much time, so much effort. She was like, go back there and you tell him you'll do whatever it takes. And I was just like, I really don't want this. And then I played for their, and then I auditioned. I tried out for the club team, which is a notch below. You only practice like three days a week.

And why? You just wanted something yeah i wasn't ready to let go of soccer yeah you know and so i was like well i'll do that and uh because you still get to travel and there's still the community of soccer and and i made that team and i played every game and we traveled a bunch and it was really fun it was more my speed it was two to three days for three years the three years oh good oh and so my parents got to see me play soccer doing that and i was one of the better ones which was nice and and we our team was good so it was like you see it didn't you didn't waste all your money and time yeah it got

me into a good school and i'm still playing soccer so if you if you had a kid now what are your feelings towards like it's it's you know as someone who didn't do sports i certainly felt envious of the community uh my friends whose wedding i went to like his best friends came from soccer that's how they all started and now they're all you know they're in business they don't they don't do soccer anymore some of them work out some of them have lost it all together yeah but like do you look back and you're like no that was a good that was a good thing i was a part of absolutely um i mean my body's starting to go my knees are bad um and i have a bad groin but uh in terms of the community and what you learn like you learn discipline yeah sports and i apply that with stand-up so when i

started doing stand-up i was doing 30 reps uh a week you know i was just getting because you know it's like repetition. The more you get on stage, the more, it's the same with sports. The more you do an action, the more it becomes easier. And you just literally, it just reps, reps, reps. And so whenever, when I prepared for Colbert, I used muscle memory. That was my technique. So I ran the set five days before I ran it 30 times. And so when I went up there and i just had to say the first line of my body would take over so if i remember so when kayla was getting just it was before she got the set but it was you're still taping you know with some notes or whatever you there was a certain kind

of shirt or jacket you were they wanted you to wear and so this was in the summer and we did some show where the ac was broken and it was like scorching hot. But they wanted her to wear this for the tape so they could get a full sense of it. And just to see you put on this jacket in a room we're all sweating our balls on. She had this little winter, little light winter thing. This little lumberjack thing. It was awful. It was so bad.

Very funny. Yeah. It was two months of hell. Getting a tape. I months of hell getting a tape I'm trying to get a tape right now it's a nightmare it is truly like it's just shocking

how hard it is yeah and how you get the perfect one and the waiter stands right in front of the tape or someone knocks something down or like one line doesn't work exactly perfectly it is truly like

one of the my least the worst parts of stand up yeah it's awful. I hope I never have to do it again. For the future late nights, you think they're just going to be like,

ah, just come on. We trust you. No, no. I mean like, I hope I never have to feel that nervous about it again. Sure.

You know what I mean? Cause now I feel like I know the system a little bit better. Yeah. And we work at places like at the cellar, you can like get that tape. Yeah. Someone, the camera is somewhere. I don't even know where the camera is.

Oh yeah, yeah. It's easier to get a tape now, but I just mean like the, hey, can I do five minutes on your show? Can I do, you know, like that process of like calling in all your favors and then setting up the camera and feeling worried about it.

I hope I never have to do that again. You know? Yeah, yeah. And I think a lot of people are going. I hope I never have to do that again. You know? Yeah. Yeah. And I think a lot of people are going towards transcripts. You have to make one tape and then you just do transcripts. I'm down for the transcripts. I'll do that. That's easy.

Yeah. So, but it's getting a tape because then you're like, I'm making a tape. Yeah. It's so awful. When you were running that set 30 times, you had a very excellent Colbert set. Thank you. Was there any rough, any ones that made you question it?

Because you get so rigid, or you have to be so rigid that you don't have as much flexibility as you might in a normal set, even if it's just to do a little side thing. And so sometimes it just doesn't pop in that same way. And when it's a white hot crowd at us at a taping it'll it'll work the thing's just every if it's a good punchline

it'll pop well i remember the week i was doing it i was running it like crazy and i was sweating my balls i was at qed and um i bombed i bombed with the set and i was so like i but i had bombed with it like three times before that that week you know i was just like fuck you know yeah and christian finnegan was like oh that's a good sign that means you know it so well that it's just like the back of your hand so you're putting in no emotion like you're gonna bomb with this a few more times and it's fine and then i was like oh okay so he told me that i was like okay i'm just getting the mechanics down making sure okay great and then i remember i went up i had bombed again and then i went to new york comedy club and i looked at amy and i was like the last joke never works and i'm

fucked if i don't do well here i'm gonna scream and she was like it's gonna be fine and it was a full room at grammar c and i went up and I opened with it and the joke works and I turned to Amy and I go whew it would be funny when you're like it's bombed the last 10 times and he's like oh that's not a good sign

the last 10 did you have a little bit of crowd work in your Colbert I did that's wild I have one bit and it's a pretty Did you have a little bit of crowd work in your Colbert? I did. That's wild. I have one bit, and it's a crowd work bit that I can kind of control. But it is terrifying to even suggest in a late night taping to fuck with the crowd at all.

Who knows? Yeah. What did you do again in it? Well, first off, they knew I might do that. and they also knew that i was going to walk around and so they told me i could not have a mic i had to have a lav mic sure so that was part of why i was bombing all the time was i had no microphone so i oh yeah it was it's a whole different thing um you'd be fine you use your hands a lot but i know my john marco um but uh yeah so they told me they gave me taped out points on the stage that i could go they were like you can't go past here you can't go past here but you're free reign do whatever

you want and i was like okay and so i was doing it and then i I, uh, one guy had a, had a weird reaction. He, the guy was clearly gay who I was hitting on, quote unquote, hitting on, you know, that little play. And he was clearly like,

what the, I did not expect that. And I went like, I growled at him and did a thing and he, and it got a big laugh and it was fine, but it was still like, I can't believe I just did that on Colbert. I am in the Ed sullivan theater and i

just growled at a man in the front row takes a lot of courage that takes a lot of courage well it's just amount of like it's that muscle memory it's like oh i can do this but because i know exactly where i'm gonna be yeah yeah yeah there was when i did the the comedy central there was these two drunk guys in the front row and they were they were too drunk they should have they should have been removed and they were talking and like i was running a very tight set like you know i'm i hope someday i'll be a little looser but right now for that kind of shit i'm tight and part of me wanted to say something to them because it was really bad i was about to go to this r kelly joke that has a long setup and i was terrified that they would be heard and it would fuck up the whole thing yeah but in that moment i was just like no yeah be heard and it would fuck up the whole thing yeah

but in that moment i was just like no yeah i don't know where this is gonna go well sometimes if it's a taping you just have to plow through anyway and they can edit out that yeah yeah whatever drunkness for sure yeah um i saw amy miller do her 30 minute and she was in and out of the crowd and talking and she's like is this good i can't tell and i mean it was hilarious she's so funny yeah um and uh but i wonder how that's gonna turn out because she was talking to people what this is my dream what do you do you know and just like sure sure so funny yeah if i had said if i said is this good it wouldn't have been funny i would be like is this good yeah is this okay yeah um so before we go to this, I got to stop.

I do want to ask, so your boyfriend is a comedian. Stephen Rogers. Also a Dunn Colbert. I'm not afraid to say his name. Yeah. Stephen Rogers. And you guys have toured together. Mm-hmm.

Do you, who closes, who headlines, who features? Do you swap? We swap. Yeah. We go back We swap. Yeah. We go back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. And especially if there's stipulations on material, like if they're like be PG-13 or PG, he closes.

But you do less time. Yeah. Well, I do it. I have, we'll split the time, but he'll close because it's stronger. Oh, I see. It's just in his nature. You're both very different comedians. Very different.

And it's now coming to the point where it might not be smart for us to tour together because we're drawing different audiences. Sure. You know, before no one knew us. So it was literally like dance to make these 50 year olds laugh. You know, like whoever comes, we'll try and make you happy. And it is, I i mean it is funny to see him be clean and then you talk about sitting on his face yes like it's just like a

funny just like oh yeah he didn't mention this part yeah uh that's very interesting but but you do do you like do you like you know i've I've had different experiences with my girlfriend who's in comedy and has good taste. I do not like bombing in front of her or like struggling in front of her. It adds a level of self-consciousness that I don't want to have. Well, your girlfriend has a different role. She has a different role, but like there's's sometimes that i do i don't want her there because maybe i just want to fuck around maybe i want to take weird swings there's sometimes i just don't want to know anyone sometimes i want anonymity in the audience i want to be like no

one here knows me i don't want any comics there uh and to me she's like she's a comedian she's a comedian minded and uh is there any do you like it do you like do you watch each other's sets do you talk about it do you do you throw jokes around do you oh yeah we we do jokes back and forth i just want to pause i do feel bad i don't mean to imply that all your jokes are sitting on his face that's just uh that's just one that pops out of my mind 30 seconds long and everybody seems to remember it well thank you you have It's memorable. You have many, many jokes. Yeah, yeah. One of the best sex ed jokes.

I love it. Oh, thank you so much. But yeah, like during the pandemic, I opened, I hosted for Regan because Steve is a regular opener for Brian Regan. And so they needed a host because they were doing these clubs. So I got to do it. So I literally just handed him my joke book and I said, pick out the jokes I can do. And then he picked out 10. i was like okay here we go

could you do that sex that joke or was that too dirty for regan too dirty it's such a good you just say it i know oh um sex ed didn't prepare us enough for the real world if you were lucky you were taught how to put a condom on a banana great how will you teach us how to convince a banana to wear a condom yeah it's such a it's such a good one thank you but yeah that's pretty tank but so you couldn't do that wow but the weird thing is i could do it on late night but i can't do it on brian reagan he is so clean like no bodily functions no innuendo to sex no politics no religion what do you think is different about you and steven that you gravitate towards talking about you cursing we're both cursers i mean i certainly am not a clean comic i'm a dirty comic and i look at people like brian regan

or even steven and i i'm part of me is like, isn't this limiting? Don't you fuck? Don't you piss? Don't you shit? And you don't want to talk about it. I don't think it's limiting for them because that's how they, like Steve doesn't really like talking about that stuff.

You know, on stage he started clean because it was just where his joke writing developed. Like that's what he thought finds interesting are his parents clean cut no like his mom is filthy see that she's a big pot head and yeah i curse because my dad cursed since i was a child my dad was a businessman he was funny he was i knew all the curse words and so i don't know i just i'm just i just when i people who are clean i'm like what is different about and if it's religion i'm like that makes more sense to me i'm like okay you see this as a bad thing well no i with brian he said it very well he or not very well i saw an interview with him where he was

talking about like they were doing um a radio show and his friend kept trying to do dirty jokes about sex and stuff and brian kept taking it silly and making faces and voices and being a silly goose with it. And like ignoring all the, he didn't care about it. I want to make this silly faces. And that is what he does. Now he does jokes and he does act outs and it's all silly.

And so it's like, I think that's just something that fascinates them and they're lucky enough that it is clean. Yeah. You know, whereas I'm get fascinated by sex cause I was so limited in talking about it growing up. I see. You know, like we're, especially as women,

like we're not, it's like, how dare you talk about this stuff? You know, like keep it to yourself. And I'm like, isn't it crazy the discharge we get? Like, to me it's fascinating. So with him it's observational. Then you get to a point where it's financially beneficial. But like I i see i mean i see jim gaffigan on podcast cursing and part of me says like don't you ever think of a good joke that has the word fuck in it and get frustrated

that like you can't well see brian sees it as a um it's unnecessary you know sure that's what signed for sign fell in a bit where he was like he noticed that there was a joke and when he didn't say fuck it didn't work and so he was like, he noticed that there was a joke. And when he didn't say fuck, it didn't work. And so he was like, well, that breaks the integrity of the joke. I'm of the mindset that like we curse in real life. That's real. So why are you pretending that's not part of the way we speak? I hate it on the news when they're like, and then the president said, grab them by the P word.

I'm like, get the fuck out of here. What are we doing? What are we doing? We all know the word pussy. word pussy yeah so i don't i don't know they're not even talking about pussy you know what i mean yeah like it's not even in steve's he doesn't have a joke about my vagina you know it's like i'd love it if out of the blue he just went yeah she went blue just wild no i don't see that ever happening i think he's like if it i he's open to making sex jokes but it has to be a really good one you know what i mean it has to be something that he really really feels strongly about um but i don't i don't see it happening

for him you know i don't i mean the pussy ain't that great that's all I said does that make you sad that if you don't tour together I mean do you like this aspect of your life I love it I do

I love it but it's just getting to the point where it's more strict on his fault his followers come because he's clean and they see him

opening for Brian and they love that and then I come on afterwards and they're like, what the fuck is, or what the heck is this? Yeah. You know,

and it's, and it's not, if I was a little tamer, sure. It'd be fine. But I'm so graphic. I say jizz raccoon, you know,

like it's just too much. You ever think about having a clean hour, putting it there, just like, you know, getting, I mean, we, we, we all write jokes clean. They don't all involve jizz raccoons yeah unfortunately because if because if you had if

you had 30 minutes that you were happy with clean i don't know i always like i'm like once i have like a clean corporate hour i think i'm going to put that in a box and be like good so i can make money with this sometimes just an hour that's clean yeah it's not a goal for me yeah but if it comes about great i think i think if you do that he has to come up with a dirty hour he has to that's his challenge yeah filthy yeah just like nasty shit yeah nasty boy yeah no i don't think he'd be like so what's the deal i make him curse sometimes and it makes me laugh yeah you know say pussy pussy it's so cute i love it but it's it's hilarious no he doesn't every once in a while i'll be like what the fuck like i don't even yeah no he doesn't really curse so it's like him he's definitely just being himself on stage yeah that makes sense that's what's so interesting yeah he

just doesn't really curse i think i've seen heard him say shit a few times i have notes like in my my word document were for crowd work i'm like stop cursing so much i'd love to curse man well that's the hardest that's the hardest part of being clean you know because with brian i would do five up top three to five in the in between steve and. And then I would have to do the check spot. And so I had 10 minutes of clean material. No problem. Yeah. And so the first two were great. And then afterwards it was like,

now I got to do crowd work, but I'm hindered. I can't do the first thing that comes to my mind. Sure. Which is what makes crowd work great. Sure. But that's why Steve's so good at it because the first thing that comes to his mind is clean.

Yeah. It's never like, it's also different. Like you can do clean shows and like, if you're killing sometimes I know plenty of people who it's a clean show, but they're doing so well. They do end up doing their act and everyone's fine with it. Yeah. Like you,

you know, I remember, I just remember once it was like a, it was like a Jewish fundraiser show and Jessica Kirsten was closing it out. And like, I was being clean. Everyone's being clean. And then she went out there and she didn'ten was closing it out. And like I was being clean, everyone was being clean. And then she went out there and she didn't give a fuck.

And no one gave a fuck because it was so good. My friend's wedding, they said no cursing. And then like, I felt like there were two jokes I wanted to curse and then like, you know. Which, what words? You feel like you, shit and jizz raccoon actually. And I. You stole my bit.

I have a sex ed bit, but it's oh do you yeah okay i hope you don't think i stole it sex ed is a very broad topic okay good just making sure i feel like there's a lot of people with sex i have a sex bit i hope yeah steal that yeah um all right let's go to our uh this has got to stop this has got to stop do you our. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Do you have a this has got to stop for us? What do you mean? Great. You guys start. That's fantastic.

OK, we'll start. Give her an example. Russell, do you have a this has got to stop? I do. This has got to stop. Wait, let's explain it, though. It's just anything in the world, personal, public, large, small. Oh, OK.

Large, small. Mine's big. This has got to stop. Making movies. the world personal public large okay large small mine's big um this gotta stop making movies i think we need to take a year or two off and reflect it's no one's into it right now do you know i mean like we're not no one's going to the movies no one's watching them really there's like three categories that are allowed to be movies right now i just don't feel like as a world we're that into it right now and i think we should just take a year or two just a year or two off from making them and and and then we'll want to see them again and we'll maybe we'll have some new ideas and new things that we can do and

didn't we just do that i i you know i feel like it's still it's still though you still too much look anytime there's an announcement of a movie coming out, I'm like, I, you know, Chris Pratt's been announced for 18 movies coming out and they all sound terrible. I'm like, just take time, Hollywood. Take more time. You need more time. Because I, there's, I'm just not excited about every trailer I see. I'm like, that looks terrible. That Gucci movie looks terrible.

It doesn't. No more biopics. It looks fun. The Gucci movie looks fun. It doesn't. No more biopics. It looks fun. The Gucci movie looks fun. No! They're like, mamma mia, they look so fucking stupid

and we're gonna have to pretend that that's gonna get Oscars. Like, it's insane. It looks like a parody. And it just, no biopics, no more Marvel, nothing.

Just give us a couple more years of nothing. what i feel i'm just not excited about any movies entertain me yeah i mean i'm fine tv you guys are doing a good job movies i just take a little more time let's think about it let's put a little more work and a little more creativity it just feels like it goes on autopilot sure did every did we see the chris pratt post on instagram with his wife oh yeah jesus christ that's a psychopath no i know what is it a psychopath or is it like narcissism to a t like i could see my stepfather posting that i could see like a man of a certain age of a different part of the country you someone in the arts yes that's strange i liked

your your thing made me laugh where you posted that blooper thing of him being like i miss this oh yeah yeah but you're are do you see this blooper from parks and rec it's the amy poehler's character they're talking about people who made a big comeback and he was like kim kardashian and they're like oh how and he said well in the video she got cum on her back and everyone loses their mind and it's crazy talk about like a version of where i think of like dirty and clean where it's like he went from that like having a mind that goes there yeah i'm not saying it's but but then my wife at church and i love my baseball card and i'm like what about the cum yeah where'd the cum go and your other son. It's crazy.

No, it seems like, yeah, it seems like a weird robot version of, like, it just, they don't seem like the same people. Yeah. Yeah. That part about his son, it was just, or like not even about his son. Forgiving me, a healthy daughter. It's like, ah! Do you think that, do you think, do you think we're reading into that? A little bit. Do you think that maybe some people go a healthy...

Well, but it was like a long line of red flag, red flag, red flag. And then that part, you're like, okay. And then it's like, of course, of course. He probably doesn't even realize that he resents his ex-wife for not giving him a quote-unquote hug. What happened to their daughter? No, I think it's his son. It's his son. giving him a quote-unquote to their daughter. No, I think it's his son.

I think I know because I fucking hate this world that we live in. I know it's a goddamn son. I love how you say I think to soften a year and his name is. What's his name? I don't even know what I was going to say. What do they have? There's a health know what I was going to say. No, I didn't know what I was going to say. Um, what do they have?

There's a health issue. Oh, it was born with health issues, you know? Yeah. Sure. Not sure if it's autism or something. I don't know.

Sure. Sure. But, uh, it's gotta be a real, I also think about like, you know, Chris Pratt's a human being and he like tried to make a sweet post and suddenly the whole

country is like, you're a psychopath. Yeah. Well, I mean, he was like nothing about how much he loved her. It was all just, she loves him so much. She looks at me this way.

I wouldn't trade my baseball card. I would like, you know, like, it's crazy. Like, I remember I wrote a card for Tova and I. We had our anniversary. And like, I think I've learned, I know that I'm narcissistic. I have narcissistic tendencies. And so like, I remember as i'm writing the card i'm like you know i'm in my head i'm like don't make this about like me or what she does for me like talk about her and

her specialness and it is strange a grown person who like doesn't seem to have that voice yeah challenging their own yeah but if you're famous you know fuck yeah i mean there was like 18 announcements of garfield mario brothers every you know every fucking franchise he's the thing of um no more movies all right mine uh i flew back from hawaii hawaiian airlines was fairly nice like it's a 10-hour flight so you get two meals and i'm so used to just like these airplanes don't give you fucking anything however on the flight back there was big plane 10 hour flight there were these seats in the front they're called extra comfort seats and no one's sitting in them no one bought the ticket and you're on a 10 hour flight and there's

a lot of room on the plane there's a lot of seats yeah and at some point five hours into the flight i go i'm gonna lie down people are lying down like you know 10 hours people are lying down across seats and i'm like i'm just gonna no one's in this whole row i'm gonna lie down and of course within seconds within seconds faster than they would respond to an active terrorist they come over and they go these are these are extra comfort seats you don't have a ticket for this. And here's my thing. Nothing bothers me more than when more joy could be in the world with no sacrifice. No one's being kicked out of these chairs.

They exist. They're empty. And you're going, no. They're not going to make the money. No one's going to buy a ticket in the sky. These chairs just exist they're there you gambled by saying i'm gonna have extra comfy chairs and try to charge more money for them you lost the gamble the plane is in the air no one bought the ticket i get to do why can't i sit in them you played it wrong you played it wrong because you

didn't you didn't you should have asked them and they probably would have let you. But because you just took it, they had to be like, well, now we can have a mutiny on our hands. People will be like, he didn't pay for that. And they didn't, you didn't, no one saw you ask. If you had gone up and asked or if you had inquired about it and they could, they might have given it to you because you asked. I don't think in a million years they might have given it to you because you asked. I don't think that. I don't think in a million years they would have given it to me. I mean, I'm just saying by you not asking, they had to set a precedent.

They had to take control of that airplane. Or else what would happen? People would be moving everywhere. Other people would sit there. They're fine. Laying in the aisles. They're fine. No one's in the aisle.

The reason they're being so hard is I'm sure they've had years of experience of people taking things, and then it's a free-for-all. Do you know what I mean? But I agree with you that the airlines are fucked. And if it's an empty seat, it's empty. It's over. And they're all overcrowded. It's like if there was a front row at the Broadway stage and it was empty,

and they said, no, you can't sit there. No. You're not going to make money either way. I'm surprised there's empty seats. I haven't been on a plane in so long. There were empty seats. It's Hawaii, not everyone making this trip specifically. For me, that is just like, to me,

that's vulgar. Something about that is so upsetting. How did you react? Were you nice? Oh, no, I was pissy. And tova was like honey don't you make me are you on my side are you on my side so that's why this has got to stop hawaiian airlines you were going that's got hawaiian airlines got to stop uh i agree with you there were no good movie selections on that plane. I didn't watch that fucking movie. No, I'm just kidding.

I was going to make fun. You were going to make fun of my movie? I was in a movie. It was a great movie. Great movie. You have a This Has Got to Stop? Yeah, I got a few. I mean, I'm going to Costa Rica on Sunday,

which is very exciting for what for fun for fun steve and i are going for five days it's gonna be five days yes we're taking an actual vacation no shows no shows whoa not a single one i know and um so i think my this has got to stop is um fucking covet i think i am i've had it because the amount of hoops i have to go through just to get on a plane yeah to costa rica is insane because it's literally you have to get tested before you get there even if you're vaccinated really you have to show proof of vaccination you have to uh when you get off the plane they health test you they health screen you again and then uh and then you get to go into the country you rent a car you live your

life and then on the way back to get back into america you have to get covet tested again let me tell you i went to barbados and they uh i was at the airport for like three or four hours when i landed because of that whole thing so it was like it was like three or four hours like it was 30 hours just so you know okay i'm i i was the most respectful american there i would say it was a frustrating experience because of the other americans that were like what the fuck is this and you're like they're like no one on the island is vaccinated yet like they're being extra cautious yeah because they don't have vaccine things like we do um and the americans were going crazy and so it was it was a long three or four hours cause it was a, all, a of all it was,

it was laid out like it's going to be quick. You know, you get your test, it's a 15 minute thing, blah, blah, blah. And it was longer than that. And then the Americans made it much worse cause they were complaining the whole time. And anyways. Yeah. So I'll be prepared for that. Well, I hope you don't get, I had a breakthrough case.

You did? Yeah. A day ago. Great. I did. So I felt very good about Hawaii, but I was terrified. Yeah, we both ago. Great. I did. So I felt very good about Hawaii, but I was terrified. Yeah, we both did. Yeah.

But I was, you know, it's scary. I mean, you know, you get to Costa Rica, you get a breakthrough case or whatever, and then you're 10 days quarantining in Costa Rica. Like, there's potential for disaster. I mean, 10 days quarantine in Costa Rica, I think I'd be okay. It's a lot of money. Okay, but I can't afford it. It's a lot of money,

but it's something that I know, like I have savings, Steve has savings. Sure, sure. You know, it's like the worst case scenario, we quarantine for 10 days. I know what you mean though. Like Hawaii, there was a lot of things. It ended up being fine.

I didn't have to get tested. Vaccine was enough, but they are very, it's scary to like figure out like am i gonna fuck up one of these steps and get there and go like you had a thing like you didn't get tested at the right place maybe or like yeah they're that test didn't count yeah the pcr it was like a weird thing where it didn't count about the test i did didn't count and there was a day in barbados where we weren't allowed to be on the beach. Like we, we had to like technically be,

there was some Hawaii story. This was like months before we went where someone had to like go back to wherever they came from to get tested and then go back to Hawaii. And it was like a nightmare. Yeah. So there's that worry that I'm just like, yeah, that I'm something's going to go wrong,

but we did the health chart. We did everything. We're getting tested on Saturday and we're going to wear masks and and you know the jungle so sure yeah i mean it's like i'm trying steve is very like everything could go wrong and i'm like it's gonna be great but in the back of my mind i'm like everything could go wrong you know um but yeah it's a lot of money if like worst case scenario would be a lot of money but it it is not, it's not their, um, it's not their busy season. Yeah. So it would not be the end of the world.

You know, it would be okay. Worst case scenario, we're spending 10 days in Costa Rica and we're missing our weekend spots, which is going to suck, but it's not the, we're in Costa Rica, you know,

we're in Costa Rica in this house. Yeah. Yeah. All right. That was a, this has got to stop COVID right. That was it. This has got to stop. COVID regulations. Get over it.

Your grandma was on the way out anyway. She's like, oh, I've got to get vaccinated. I've got to like, oh. Now it's going to our. You better count your blessings. You better count your blessings. Russell, you got a blessing for us today? Yeah.

I feel like this song went on. Take it up with Douglas. Um, no, I was in, I was been, I mentioned the last time I've been in a weird kind of like, uh,

like, and I, uh, I really had, um, uh, the meeting, we had an uncle function digital meeting today and,

it's just nice. It was just nice to laugh and feel good. And I want special shout out to chris cafero because he made a joke on the thing that i've been thinking about all day and it really tickled me and it was uh just one of those like when you get like a church laughter you're like it was i'm not gonna repeat the joke because deeply inappropriate it was deeply inappropriate not offensive but i think it would offend a large portion of america it wasn't like problematic it's not it's not like a problematic it. Not a slur. It's not problematic. It's not racist.

It's not transphobic. It's not homophobic. It's a hot take that was very funny to me, and he would never say it publicly. And it was kind of mean, but it really tickled me. And so that's my... It felt like my... I've been in a last few days just kind of blah,

and I feel better today. Um, I'll, I'll just say what I said at the beginning. My blessing is you helping me do the self tape. Um, really it's, uh,

it's, it's something we're like, I look, I came seven minutes early, but it's just like, look, it's, it's a favor.

It's a commercial. I'm never going to get Pete Davidson lookalike. I cannot imagine why, but apparently I know some other people going to get. Pete Davidson lookalike. I cannot imagine why. But apparently, I know some other people got to it. We all were like, we don't look like. And they were like, I know, but they want you to submit. Yeah.

And I'm like, great. They're going to ask every six foot three guy in New York City to tape for this. But it's always nice when a friend helps you tape. Yeah. Because it means you don't have to ask your partner. Kaylin, you have a blessing to close this out uh yeah my parents just came and uh they were lovely and we had so much fun and uh they are now of the age where they want to sightsee and then they want to go home and take a nap and it's wonderful that's great and it's just like so we would go see stuff not too much stuff go home and like sit on the couch and watch tv and i was able to get work done and do my podcast and stuff like

that and then uh we went out to shows at night and i was like oh this is great because back when i first moved here they're like we have to see everything it was a headache so now it's like oh we've seen a lot of it we don't have to go to the statue of Liberty. Let's, let's hang out. It's great. So I'm so grateful for that. Yeah. And they paid for a really nice dinner.

Yeah. Do you feel, I feel like I am, I am close. I'm not saying I have the money for it, but I'm like, Oh, one of these days I'm going to have to pay for dinner.

Oh yeah. I'm getting close to that. I do it sometimes. You have a real, usually a real job, but I do it sometimes. You have a real job. But I do it sometimes, especially if you're upstate. You feel like a king there. Sure, sure.

Oh, my God. Oh, pay for dinner here? Okay. Yeah, you know. Yeah. I know, especially in the South. You're like, yeah, I'll get your biscuits. Yeah, I'll get your month food.

You put down a $5 bill. They're like, you're tipping 200%. Oh, my God. Yeah. All right. Anything you want to plug, Caitlin? Yes. When this comes out the following weekend, I'm going to be in Fort Collins, Colorado,

headlining the Comedy Fort. Very cool. Yeah. Very fun. It's a great club. And then I'm doing headlining Boulderoulder uh on that sunday uh boulder comedy club boulder comedy something well you know uh yeah and then uh yeah and then my website has up-to-date dates i'm headlining a lot in 2022 knock on wood yeah right so check it out what's

your website uh caitlynpalufo.com and follow me at Caitlin Palufo and listen to Good Time Gal, which is my podcast. Yes. Russell, plug the Uncle Function show. Yes. Okay, so it's December 7th and so our show is in 10 days, Friday, December 17th

at Asylum NYC, 7.30 p.m. We got big, huge guests. Very, very well-known, famous guests. We talked about trying to get some very big guests. We're always very ambitious in the beginning. Well, we got them because it's coming out in the future.

So just trust me on this one. It's going to be big. And then follow me. You know, I don't do the follow me, but follow me not on Twitter. I don't do anything on there. But follow me on Instagram, at Russell Daniels. If you want to sometimes see what I post already, follow Russell for that repost. And the occasional

dog picture. I will be headlining Nick's Comedy Stop December 17th and December 18th. I just found out I'm going to be in the Philly Punchline for December 31st for New Year's and for January 1st. And then I also

have headlining weekends next year. Find me online. I'll post about them all. And yeah, you know, I think to end this out, you were talking, your parents, as they get older, they want to do less. And then someday they're not going to want to leave at all. And one day they'll be confined to one room

until you finally if you're lucky say goodbye this is the downside not specifically her parents all parents Louise and Gary are going to live forever forever Forever!