The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #58 Divorcing a Mime with DeAnne Smith

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

DeAnne Smith shares the downsides of going to clown school right after a breakup, marrying a mime/engineer to get into Canada, teaching English in a Mexican war zone, and touring Australia after your mom dies. We also ask is it wrong to eat carrots and hummus during a zoom funeral? You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Join The Downside Patreon for early ad-free episodes the Friday before they're released on Tuesday, two BONUS episodes a month (AUDIO & VIDEO), + the good feeling inside that you're helping keep my delusions alive. Follow DEANNE SMITH on twitter & instagram See DEANNE SMITH perform in a city near you Follow GIANMARCO SORESI on twitter, instagram, tiktok, & youtube Check out GIANMARCO SORESI's special 'Shelf Life' on amazon & on spotify Subscribe to GIANMARCO SORESI's mailchimp Follow RUSSELL DANIELS on twitter & instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Fawn Sullivan, Paige Asachika, & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello. Hi. Hi. My name is Gianmarco Cerezi. I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. No, no, I like the whispering. You like the whispering? Yeah. You know those podcasts that are like for going to sleep? Yeah. Where like the whole thing is ASMR-ian. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We could be that. There's no way. You yell, I yell, we all yell I have a wheeze laugh that would wake people up We are joined today By stand-up comedian Writer Performer, podcaster Deanne Smith, welcome to the downside

Hi I'm gonna break us out of it Yeah I did way back I did a Voldemort ASMR uh asmr parody that did well but like it was it was comedic but so like eight minutes in i go like and a number of comments that were like fuck you okay they were really going to sleep to this and people made re-edits where they took that part out oh people love this hey people that like asmr

they love it i know i don't get the tingles. I'm upset about that. Do you guys? Do you know what they're feeling? I do. Listen, I don't really, but every once in a while, I think I do. Does that make sense? Yeah.

Sometimes there'll be like a joke one happening and people, it gets joked about a lot and stuff. Yeah. And sometimes when it's happening, I'm like, oh, maybe I do like that. Do you know? Not every time though. What do you feel the tingle? Well, it's like when you get like a scalp massager or something, I'm like, oh, maybe I do like that. Do you know? Not every time. What do you feel the tingle?

Well, it's like when you get like a scalp massager or something, I feel like, is what I feel when it happens. The dream. Yeah. So, and that's a nice sensation, you know, the scalp. Oh, yeah. I got that. Yeah, you do. You do it once and then you're like, okay, I'm done.

One of those things. Are you a good sleeper? No, not at all. This is the downside. One, two, three. Downside downside I know how to set it up yeah that was really nice I can tell you were a bad sleeper the second you woke up

from one bad sleeper to another wow no my girlfriend who's asleep right now she sleeps she has night terrors we talk about on the podcast a lot No, my girlfriend who's asleep in my room right now. It doesn't matter. She sleeps. She sleeps. She has night terrors.

We talk about it on the podcast a lot, but she wakes up like screaming and then goes right back to sleep, goes right back to sleep. And I am a terrible sleeper. And I feel an angry, a level of envy that reaches anger. Well, yes, but also you would be awoken by these screams, right?

So they're not your night terrors, but you are also nightly terrorized. And then if it was me, I would not fall back asleep. It's really bad. But that Ambien. You've been liking it. Yeah, I get scared about it.

Have you ever taken Ambien? No. I'm a little afraid to start drugging because I don't know when I would stop. Exactly. I have the same fear. And then some doctor, he said the Ambien is supposed to be

the non-habit forming version. And I take very little. But like sometimes just that 2.5 milligrams, I break up my five milligram pills, that's how scared I am. And sometimes that just sails me to sleep. Oh, I love this idea. Wait, do you have trouble getting to sleep and then staying asleep as well, you have both things?

As I've gotten older, I've had a lot more like waking up at sevens and being like oh no like my taxes yeah yeah i had the first this is i mean i guess this is the downside i had a i had a very my dad had a heart surgery like a month ago and we had a tough relationship blah blah blah but he's okay now but i had like a a dream of like i was sleeping in my dad's bed at home and he wasn't there and i called out for him and i woke up tears in my eyes oh wow and i thought i i'm not a big believer but i thought if he's dead yeah that was the visit yeah and i i texted him and this gets even really sad i texted him i had a comedy second. It was my first like set on a thing. And I texted him because we didn't.

He doesn't know. He doesn't follow. And I texted him. It's so pathetic. I texted him like the link, like just in case you want to see it. Here's the link. Seven in the morning. I thought my dad might be dead.

This was my way of checking if he was still alive. Show him content. Send him the link. And he was like, oh, he made some joke. He's fine. And then I never heard back if he watched it or not. And that's why I'm the way I am. Okay, but you got the thing.

He responded. He's alive. That's the main thing, right? But now he's dead to you. Now he's dead to me. Exactly. I mean, it is. Listen, he's loving in certain ways.

But that is. I remember when the Amazon special came out like a month later. He was like, I'm going to watch it right now now and then i never heard from him again yeah you know what i've been thinking a lot about yes and we're diving right in i gotta go please i got a dad that's in a nursing home we've had some conversations recently and i'll i'll back up and get to it but i i think a lot about what that generation was raised with what they expected from their parents what they got from their parents, what they got from their parents. I mean, he may have watched this, loved it,

and just didn't occur to him to tell you that. Yeah. Because no one ever told him that when he was a kid or something. Yeah. I've always, my theory with my dad, I think he's jealous. I think like- Deferred dreams?

Because every time yeah yeah he always talks about the one theater program he did when he was like 14 or whatever and whenever he's like at a show of mine it's not very often but he had like he'll have ideas he'll always like have ideas it's more about that or have notes but like it doesn't i i don't think he's able to like take in comedy i don't think he's i just like take in comedy i don't think he's i just think he feels envy yeah that's really interesting and maybe he does i could i could relate to that like if you've had whatever kind of life where you didn't feel free to pursue your dreams yeah you raise this kid you try to give them fucking everything yeah they run off and

live your dreams there's a way of looking at it without bitterness but i could understand that you'd be like this fucking or he doesn't find me funny which is like i don't think he's like he's not a stand-up he's not watching a lot of stand-up yeah like that'd be one thing if he's like he's like he's got a list of 100 comics but didn't you mention he took you to stand-up stuff he took me to stand-up stuff but like when you were younger yeah he took me to like danger fields like a late night show that's very cool the mc at least in my mind at the time was like like 80 years old. And she was talking about accidentally putting Novocaine in her clit. And I was like, there was some guy. I mean, when you're not aging, it's so magical.

So there was some guy, and the whole act out was like, he thought his neighbors were making macaroni, but it was clear from the sounds. He was hearing fingering. And when you're 13, though, you're like, this is the greatest thing. I miss those days. I remember seeing Ralphie Mae at Caroline's, I was like 15 and I came in

and he was showing all his different fingering techniques. And it's like a 15 year old, like this is the pinnacle of comedy. This is the pinnacle. It's taboo, it's exciting. It's possibly information for you. Yes. Yes. And it was like, it was bad information. I my mom information for you yes yes and it was like it was bad information i think he had like one like the frog oh god and so uh luckily i never tried

that one out um well for those just tuning in this is the downside as you can tell negative podcasts we talk about sad things we complain but in a pod in a fun way in a fun way in a fun way you're trying to tell this podcast into like the celebration podcast. I don't feel like we're overly negative people. I think, but we like talking about dark things in a celebratory way. Yeah. You know? And I'm like, yeah.

So if you're a fan, check out the Patreon. You get early episodes, bonus episodes. That's patreon.com slash downside. Before we get to you, Deanne. Yes. And we're going to talk about your dad uh but i i'm i'm trying to figure out so how long you've been in new york now barely so we moved moved to new york in i came screeching into new york in my car uh in july and then i've been kind

of on the road on the road and finally settled into our new place. And I would also love to talk about what a shithole of a sublet I had. Settled into our new place in October. When you started saying that, I thought you were about to say, I don't know if you, what a shithole this city is. And I was like, whoa, okay. Yeah, I showed up. Welcome to our home. Just immediately negative because I think that's how you fit in in New York. What is this?

Let the traffic and the fucking people. just immediately negative because i think that's how you fit in in new york so i um uh i've been working at the the comedy cellar and i can walk home from there and i really like that walk it's getting a little chilly but uh i was walking home the other the other night and i i'm pretty sure we've seen there was a homeless homeless man in, he's in the middle of a intersection and he's lying down and he's like, I'm suicidal, I'm gonna kill myself. And even looking at it, I'm like, you don't seem suicidal. This seems like a ploy. Which is its own, a cry for help is legitimate.

It's a cry for help. Sure. But I see it, i'm walking home i immediately i'm like i should have taken the subway because i see it i'm like i gotta i gotta talk to this guy why because he's in the he's in the middle of the cross oh you're just oh i thought you were like oh i thought you were like going up and you were like gonna like start like this conversation no but he's just in the middle of the cross i'm the only one walking and he's like i'm gonna kill myself i'm gonna kill myself okay and so i say please please the middle of the crosswalk. I'm the only one walking. And he's like, I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to kill myself. And so I say, please, please come out of the road.

And then he said, can I have money? And I look at my wallet and all I have, the smallest I have is a $10 bill. And so I give him the $10. Because now I feel like people are, I can't not give him anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm talking to other comedians down the line and they're like, oh, that guy. Yeah, that's his thing. He goes in the in the in the

intersection lies down this is not this is not like a highway no car's gonna hit yeah honestly smart though like i mean it's like it's like if you're gonna have to have a thing it's like a very i mean i admire his hustle and i would happily pay a 10 to20 don't kill yourself tax when I walk by that guy. But I'm pretty sure we had a friend who helped someone out of the street years ago. I think it's the same guy. Oh, yeah. I think this guy's doing it everywhere. Wow. That was a totally different part of town.

But like, so if I see him again. That's a gamble, though. I love it. He is essentially, he's appealing to people's good nature. He trusts that the people around care enough about other human beings that they're going to help them out. What if he's taught this to other people too? It could be like he was the mentor thing of it, you know?

Oh my God. That there's like a franchise. Yeah. I like that. He's taking a cut. I, well, it's not just the good person thing, but it also is admittedly. I'm like, oh, if other people saw me talk to him, because he's like, no, I'm going to kill myself. Now I'm investing time.

But I'm like, if people see me now walk away, I'm even worse. I'm not thinking about other people looking at me. Yeah. And my question is, if I see him again, next time to go, oh, yeah, you didn't kill yourself. You're fine and walk or do I keep giving him money do I just need to get some more dollar bills

so I can get out of this consider it a tax but a smaller tax I think it's worth it to carry around dollar bills this is what I've discovered in the city because I recently gave someone

$20 which is the smallest thing I had you gasped what was the 20s a lot of money I just had it and I so rarely have cash. And they were like, can you help me out?

And I don't care what they're going to spend it. Like, you know what I mean? That's how soft the pitch was. Can you help me out? Yeah, they weren't looking good and they did need help. And whether or not they wanted that $20 to, I mean, they started going to this thing that I know isn't true and I don't care. Right?

Like, I need $10 to stay with my friend because today. And I'm like, you know what? Here, whatever you need it for, you clearly need it. So, yeah, I handed it over and then they started crying, which was uncomfortable because it wasn't about that. It was just like, wow, I do consider it a bit of a humanity tax. Like I would rather make eye contact with someone, acknowledge them, give them something even small, even if it's a dollar, to just be like,

I see you. I see that you're struggling. It fucking sucks. Yes. You know? I don't disagree. I think though, being in New York as long as I have.

You'd be spending too much money. Well, sometimes you walk home and you get approached by five different people. It's less about the money. I can't give money to everybody. But you can if you have a dollar. Just one dollar. Sure. Yes, yes. But you can if you have a dollar. Just one dollar. Sure.

Yes, yes. I think you can definitely have some things. I rarely have any cash, but I sometimes have change. But the, I do have cash right now, but I was going to say,

the thing, there's a component though that is the, there's some days where it's really hard to be that present. Like, like you feel like if other people i'm that present yeah which is a horrible thing to feel and say but living in new york you're like there are some days where you're like i'm on the verge of a thing i i like literally like

and i have headphones that are noise canceling and i will close my eyes on the subway like because just out of nothing's even happened no one's even gotten on yet but being like if I will close my eyes on the subway. Like, because just out of nothing's even happened. No one's even gotten on yet. But being like, if I just close my eyes till my stop, I didn't see it. I didn't, you know, like that kind of thing. It's just awful to say. This is my theory about the city. And I really just got here. But and maybe it's not even that interesting, but there's just so many people that you inevitably

are going to run into every day. If you're just out in the world, you're going to run into some serious, crazy, you're going to run into every day if you're just out in the world you're going to run into some serious crazy you're going to run into suicidal like when the other day i was driving i hate driving in the city um because there's just everyone's doing their own rules everyone thinks their thing is the most important yes and i do feel that i encounter at least like three people every time i'm driving for more than 30 minutes that have like a death wish like they just kind of like good luck everybody i'm gonna do whatever i was driving it wasn't a highway but it was like at least two lanes going pretty quickly it wasn't like a little side street or anything um and this guy was walking clearly not doing well walking toward my car in the lane not on the median not on anything just strolling down the street where

i'm maybe doing like 30 40 miles an hour it was horrifying um i laid on the horn which i never do i like because i just was like dude wake up like you're in the street this is a problem um i felt like i was gonna kill that guy and then when i didn't kill that guy i kind of wanted to kill that guy for scaring me so much you know what i mean yeah yeah i i'm always amazed that um in a city of nine million or whatever it is or in like one million people taking the subway i'm like the fact that in the 10 years i've lived here nothing truly like i've not been hit in the face like on the subway i'm like for the amount of people i'm like generally everyone's doing the best that they can. And like,

you're, you're obviously seeing people in mental health crisis every day and thing in different things. But, but, but you're like, the thing is like, you're,

like for the most part, I'm like, people are doing a pretty good job. We're not like, I, I'm not, I've not been bloodied on the subway yet. Knock on wood. i've seen it

watch they're gonna play this tape when i'm murdered oh um but yeah thank you for saying mental health crisis because as i was like you know you see crazy i'm like i know i'm not supposed to say that anymore but i haven't i haven't replaced the words mental health crisis there you go yeah i'm not always the best teaching you well i've been giving him lessons on how to do it no crazy is that that is one that always, that's the, I think that's the one that happens the most. Yeah. I say insane a lot too in not a great way.

You know, like that's insane. Words can still mean things, right? Right, right. I mean. I still think crazy can be used sometimes. I'm cognizant very much as like a man to when i'm calling if it's if it's a woman i'm always cognizant of being like okay all right but there are some crazy people i mean which is we're not exist anymore crazy is a word crazy bitches don't like being called crazy bitches

that's what you always say russell please put it in his mouth yeah um just though i remember one thing with with asking for money i remember once i like i took a soul cycle class and i like left my wallet at the studio and it had closed and it was one of those situations where i needed money but like i'm like you know dressed in like kind of a nice sweat pant outfit like yeah and just i don't think i could even ask anyone this was like before uber was on phones or whatever this is a long time ago yeah but one of those feelings of like no one's giving me money how could i possibly someone approaches me like in a button down and like hey i need money i'm like yeah you're fine buddy yeah no but i feel like if

you went with that exact story it's so believable like and it's so specific and almost embarrassing like oh excuse me i was just in my SoulCycle class and I left my wallet. It'd be sad if they gave it to me and not the... There's like one guy in the subway with no legs, no arms. I'm like, give him all the money. How's he going to hold it? All right.

That would have been a good intro to the townside. Well, let's talk about you. I didn't know that you were born in America first. Born in America. American born. A true American. A real American. And that's why you're on the podcast.

I love Russell's reactions. Everything we just met, you're like, what? America? I didn't know they were American. The reason Russell is that, because we got here today and Russell's like, who's the guest today? So everything's a surprise for Russell today. I know. I don't always look ahead.

I mean, you do research. I do everything. You do all the work. This is a serendipitous meeting for us. Right. So I started comedy in Canada. You started comedy in Canada. I was born in the United States of America.

Yes. And then I started comedy in Canada. And then I traveled so often to Australia and those were like my first big gigs on TV and stuff and at one point they were like Canadian comic and I just didn't correct them because I was like truly my first gig and I did like wide-eyed and like yeah Canada um plus it was the Bush years I didn't mind that misunderstanding and now it's now where in america were you born and how long were you there i was born in upstate new york not far from here i will be too where uh

but like way upstate uh three hours north uh near binghamton buddy yeah my hometown is endicott new york oh my god what's your hometown bainbridge new york very small town but like 30 minutes away from endicott i mean i've heard of Bainbridge and I've probably driven through it. Crazy. Yeah, I'm going there later today. Oh my god. Wow. If we were at a party right now, I would have walked away at this point. Oh, Endicott. Do you ever go...

Wait, you have family there still? Yeah, so my dad is in a nursing home in Binghamton, New York. And I do always... You do what I do. This is the tiny towns we're from. You have to position it to whatever. I'm like, have you heard of Ithaca? Have you heard of Binghamton, New York. And I do always, you do what I do. This is the tiny towns we're from. You have to position it to whatever. I'm like, have you heard of Ithaca? Have you heard of Binghamton? Maybe you've heard of Syracuse.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. And then we zero in on the spot. Syracuse, close? It's about an hour and a half north, but that's close. Yeah. I mean, my parents are like season ticket holders for Syracuse.

Can they help me out? I'm doing the funny bone in Syracuse. I have to sell 100 tickets or they're allowed to cancel it. Really? That's on them to sell tickets. Have a club that sells 100 tickets, you jackasses. Yeah. I'm really excited to be there, Syracuse, please.

I'm sure Syracuse is listening. No, no, no. It's just one of these you know. I'm not on Netflix, Deanne. We're at a different scale. I'll tell my friends from upstate. Yeah. They have kids and stuff.

I don't know. It's a drive. Bring the kids. I have all the people there I can get. I know you're scared and you do need all the people there, but can we just back up for what a bullshit industry comedy is? Sure. You're running a club. You should run a club that you book talent that people trust and

you can sell a hundred tickets to whatever show you're doing that's their job really more than yours and i know we've all been duped and we all think it's supposed to be us um and ideally yes i think it'll go back to that i think right now it's leaning on obviously there's these people out there who can move these seats like crazy of course but they're gonna start to my theory and i think it's already happening they're gonna start demanding a they're gonna start moving to bigger theaters so they're not gonna do the clubs anymore and b they're gonna start demanding you know insane door deals and then a cut of the drinks and eventually these clubs will go you know what we need to re-establish people coming here for our taste the clubs have leaned on big names coming in i know as opposed

to being like come to the people know to come to the cellar because it's like, it's going to be a good show and there might be famous people there. Right. But I think a lot of clubs kind of just gave up on that as, that's what I think.

I just think it's bullshit and I'm putting it out there. I don't disagree, it's bullshit. And I think you will move those 100 tickets. That's definitely going to happen. Yeah.

I appreciate it. How many seats do they have? Like how many? I don't know. I'm sure it's, I'm sure it's probably like 300 or something. Yeah.

But I started, I, I did, I had Land Carolines this weekend. I had like two weeks notice. Oh, that's fun. It was like someone clearly, someone dropped out or died. That's fine. Tragically. Yeah.

But I started using Facebook ads. I put a lot of money into like Facebook ads for the first time. And I think it paid off. Really? Good. Yeah. Okay, good. So talk to me about Binghamton.

Binghamton. I've heard of Binghamton. Your place I always forget. What is it called? Bainbridge. Bainbridge. It's very small. I feel like I had friends there from university or something.

Is it like on the way to Ithaca, near Ithaca? I don't know from Binghamton how you, I don't really know directions that well. But it's like 45 minutes from Ithaca. Yes, as is my hometown. Okay. How long were you there for? Until university. Then I went to Alfred, New York.

Alfred University in Alfred, New York. It's very tiny. What year? What year? I graduated before 2000. Oh, okay. Don't make me say it out loud. We missed a lot.

Because I had friends that went to Alfred, but it would have been a little later. It's so lovely. It's called's strange that's usually universities are like someone's last name and alfred is like i don't know what this situation is but i can tell you that the town literally has one stoplight um are you serious and it's adorable like the campus is what you would hope from a little liberal arts it felt kind of artsy i went i've visited a couple times it felt a little more artsy than some of the other it's so sweet it's like exactly the sort of place where like you have dinner at your professor's house and that sort of thing very

fun how many people in per grade uh i think i feel like the whole university only had like 2 000 people okay so it's tiny yeah yeah um yes so are we doing what we're doing my trajectory and then i well i've just we'll tell you about bing did you like bingerton did it suck i mean i mean you've traveled the world now and then you grew up in this in this in this uh wonderful upstate new york listen up russell's story's about here's here's let me give my impression no i want to be nice because i do have friends that listen for sure but i'm not making fun of it i'm saying like the impression i get from it is like there's a Dunkin Donuts, there's a diner and there's a bar.

Here's the thing. There's a little, it's a little different. There's no diversity and there's no culture. No, for sure. But I think the thing is too is like Binghamton's a little bigger than the small town that I was actually from. So I wasn't spending like a lot of my youth in binghamton which is like the city a big city yeah and but in binghamton's more like the suburbs

it's like it has a mall and it has like the things that all the places in america have but yeah r e diversity i can tell you that when i was growing up my town is so freaking white that like diversity would be like italians yeah it'd be like oh this is the italian neighborhood for sure um that's that's what was going on in indica did you go to union indica high school i did okay this is fascinating wow it is um so what's it like it's actually um it's kind of sad at the moment because this is a question i always have about small towns and about america in general is like what happens or how do you bring a town back after industry leaves because that's what's going like indica used to have ibm that's like where everybody's dad worked

not mine but ibm was there and that was like kind of the driver of the town that's gone and the place has fallen to shit when did it go like like disrepair. I mean, it's like just big factories. And also my hometown, Bainbridge, was the home, and this is further back. This died before IBM fell. But my hometown, Bainbridge, was the home of Elmer Glue. So there's this giant factory in the center of our town that has been vacant probably most of my life.

So like for 30-ish or so, maybe more years. But it's just like this decaying factory in the center of this small town that was like meant you know it was like what people probably did and then it's just like decades of like that's gone and and there's not really been a replacement of anything you know like big empty industry yeah yeah oh yeah and why when did ibm leave i don't know know probably the 90s did your parents work for ibm no my dad my dad actually worked for a shoe company called endicott johnson shoe company which is how our town gets its name how neighboring johnson city gets its name

and this is actually pretty cute so there's this guy called endicott johnson back in the day where a white man could just show up and go i'm called indica this whole place is called what's up alfred university but kind of a fun thing about that guy is the shoe company used to be huge and like early like well before my dad's time but like in the early 1900s um there's these arches over certain streets in the town like these stone arches that say home of the square deal so that was like the idea is like we're giving you a square deal and then there there's all these um carousels like merry-go-rounds there's at least like six of them all around binghamton and indicott and they were um erected

by indicott johnson shoe company his whole thing was like i want workers to come work for me and i want them to be happy and i want their kids to have fun stuff to do in their off time and like trying to create this whole happy worker situation. Like a Henry Ford type thing. Like a Henry Ford type thing. And so, yeah, Endicott, New York is also carousel capital of the United States. It is. Really? Yeah.

Do they have the brass ring? I don't know what that is. So there's a thing with carousels. You've heard the phrase, you you grab the brass ring or something? That's about, I'm pretty sure, there's carousels and you reach for a ring as you go around. And I think at some point,

the brass one, and you want to get the brass one. And then you get a prize or something? Yeah, something like that. That's cool. Have you ridden any of these carousels? I have, but there's no brass ring. No.

I know we were meant to complain, but now I'm reminded of all this sweet stuff. One of the carousels in I have, but there's no brass ring. No. I know we were meant to complain, but now I'm reminded of all this sweet stuff. One of the carousels in the Binghamton Zoo, I think, in order to get on, the price of admission was a piece of litter. How cute is that? You pick up a little piece of litter and then you

put it in the garbage can. And the Binghamton Zoo still exists. My mom and my nephews went recently. Really? I can only imagine. What animals are there? A couple deer? I don't. No.

You know. Some old, old gorillas. Some wolves. Like chiseled. Yeah. Gorillas that have been around since the 80s. No. It is a thing though where.

It's one dead gorilla in the middle. I struggle because it's like. I don't want to be me. It's like most of my family. So many of my good friends still live in the middle i i struggle because it's like it's like i don't want to be me like like it's like i most of my family so many of my good friends still live in the area but it is this thing where and they and sometimes i'll go and they'll be like oh there's a new thing that's opened but it's mainly like you know a restaurant thing or like someone you know starts up like a craft cocktail thing or craft brewery there's there is a new brewery that's doing really well in the area.

And it's, it's, um, they have like four locations now. And, and that was like a big deal for that. Like they opened it up at the mall now. And it's like a,

but it is a thing of like, it used to have these like big industry things and then that's been gone. And so there's, there's a void there. Yeah. And I, uh, I don't know.

I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it.

Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Uh, nope. You're on your own there. Could have skipped it. Could have skipped it.

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Get started today at Questrade.com. So you went to Alfred. What did you study at Alfred? I studied writing and women's studies. And that was it pretty much. I didn't have a lot of vision back then, but it checks out. And then how did Canada happen? Well, before Canada, I went to Baltimore. Again, I hadn't started comedy, so I didn't find find my thing and I had no real driving force in my life

I'd like to think so I do remember I had a girlfriend in Baltimore at some point that was like Almost like in a mean way It was like you think you're funny don't you and I was like of course I do like if I was saying all this shit, and I didn't think I was funny. I would just be obnoxious like yes I think I'm funny I picked I picked Baltimore because we were just like uh sitting around at university and um I was like I think I'm gonna move to Boston I really like Boston and then my friend EJ was like well I'm going to Johns Hopkins just

come to Baltimore and I was like all right so I was in Baltimore for a year then I went to Mexico um to kind of teach English and and bum around i was there for most of my 20s because what i didn't realize when i moved there was like the amount of momentum it takes to move to a new country it will eventually take that amount of momentum to get back you know it just yeah it just became my life um we're in mexico i don't know a lot but i was in a few spots so i was in uh initially i went to puerto vallarta like on the beach um then i went to uh san san cristobal chiapas which was like essentially a low intensity war zone um at the in this in the south of the country um because i yeah i had a girlfriend a

different girlfriend not the one who you think you're so funny but um in baltimore who was like trying to get to mexico and i was like listen just wherever you get to if you get a job or something i'll just move there so um she was doing like ngo work and we said it was a low low-key war zone yeah it was a yeah so in 1994 that town had been taken over by the zapatista army um oh my god which was like kind of exciting for them um um i mean good for them um so there was like a lot of tension between kind of like the indigenous population around there and then um more like essentially white mexicans or you know people with power and government and um so much crazy shit happened there, which we could come back and return to in a second. And then I moved to Canada, like in 2005.

And this war zone, were you ever scared? Was it ever scary? Oh, it was really scary all the time. What happened? Was there anything that you almost were scared for your life? Well just in general let me back up you were teaching still i was teaching english for such a low wage that like friends in the united states would make fun of me because they were kind of like do you need me to like mail you 25 a week because i can do that i mean like the hourly wage was unreal we were so um i was gonna say we were so poor and i guess yeah we

kind of were um but it was it was lovely in many ways uh what was gonna say we were so poor and i guess yeah we kind of were um but it was it was lovely in many ways uh what was scary about it just in general um there's a lot of like armed guards and presence in mexico in a way that i wasn't used to like with their hand like the yeah really just like going into the bank or like you know you take a bus somewhere and then like like i don't know if they're military, paramilitary. I don't know what they are. But you take a bus. It's like two in the morning. It stops somewhere.

All these guys with guns get on, look around, and then they get off. And you're like, okay. But you never really understand what's going on. You only know what branch they're part of. Is this police? Is this army? Is this independent? So that's a bit scary.

And then while we were there, yeah, a lot of scary stuff happened. This is my friend's story, really. But a friend of ours, we used to go running by this river and it was really, you know, lovely, just like mountains, river. We'd see like women in the river, like doing their laundry, you know, beating it on rocks, the old fashioned way, kids running around. It's all happening. And one day my friend went by herself, went running and like almost got kidnapped but didn't so she was running back and then she got um these people came up from behind her like grabbed her by the neck and started dragging her towards this car um but she had enough fight in her and her adrenaline was up and she just like fought them off and kept running um but it was pretty common at that time for women

and also like white women foreigners to get abducted um so who knows what could have happened to her in the end um that was horrifying yeah uh i have nowhere to land that except you guys are just looking like really scared and stunned so what what made you then go to canada these sort of things happened okay listen we're now the central theme of my life which is that i'll just follow girls around sure um so i had a different girlfriend um and we were hanging out and then she's like oh yeah i'm actually going to mime school in montreal and was she so you met in mexico was she was she born in mexico yeah she's mexican she's mexican um so then i was like yeah sure i'll go to montreal um she's going to mime school yeah move to montreal i moved to montreal and then that's

where i started comedy that's where i discovered i have preferences in my own dreams yeah um and then i had a path and a thing to do and it's less about following girls although i still follow girls a little bit and this you married this woman right i married this woman i married this mexican mime yeah in order to immigrate to canada now oh how did but she was mexican though so how did how did that help you get into canada lovely canada is and how liberal canada is because she was a um permanent resident of canada she had done all that paperwork because she was also an engineer and so they were just like you're, you're Mexican, you're an engineer. Get on in here.

Yeah, you're a mime. You got all of us. We need more of you, especially Quebec. I'm a mime. My backup plan is engineering. Yeah. So she got in because of that. Yeah.

And you married just so you could go with her. In some ways, yes. I don't want to act like we didn't have a real relationship. How long have you been together, though? Two years. Two years, okay. I mean, neither one of us are or were like the marrying types. I stand by, I think you should get married.

You should involve the government when the government needs to be involved. Right? And the government needed to be involved. I have no problem with a marriage for paperwork. Marriage for love is where my problems are my that makes no sense to me yeah but but paperwork of course yeah yeah we'll do it insurance um yeah so that was interesting so we did it and then literally the next day i was a little bit like i think that was a mistake how how deep how how long were you in canada when you were like this is a mistake we'd been in canada for a few months i think i just meant the marriage but like it then it all of a sudden seemed serious

in a way but she's such a chill person and she was very much like well if you think it's a mistake we'll just undo it it's not a big deal um that's very chill yeah and then we hung out for like a year and then i was like yeah i think we need to undo it yeah so there's no sort of situation there where you're like having to like i mean you were together so you wouldn't have to pretend you know like sometimes on sitcoms when people get married oh right like things and they're like visiting and you're like having to make up like so there was no sort of like checking in on the fact that you guys no it was a real relationship yeah it was easy to make it look like a real relationship we did it was it was it intense were they asking

questions oh yeah yes also because especially if you're immigrating to Canada and you've been married, I think it's less than two years. They want to make sure it's a real relationship. So they ask for a lot of shit. They ask friends to write letters, like attesting to your relationship. They want pictures of you guys together. Ideally, they want pictures of you also with your family. They want to see that you're integrated in each other's lives.

And it's not just the two of you being like we're married yeah um those are all pretty easy things to recreate though i mean even if i were faking it well what are they gonna ask you like sex tape but they do i i thought like i had heard stories about like in america where they're like they'll come to the the apartment and they'll they'll be like where's their toothbrush oh wow like i mean i just yeah i'm just saying pictures are easy to recreate it's possible to recreate but they also want like a timeline of your relationship and all this kind of stuff you could fake it probably but it'd be scary at the point at which if they call you in for um interviews and they separate you and stuff like that it could i know someone that

um this is crazy i'm not gonna say their names um but i had a uh so this is a friend's roommate not anymore but like years ago one of my friend's roommates uh was offered uh ten thousand dollars to to marry a stripper uh so that she could get her her everything where is she from and he did i don't remember oh yeah but he did it and it he did it. And it was like a year process of like being around and together and that sort of thing. But it was like there was a financial thing.

I'd do it for the story. $10,000. I feel like I'd do it not for the money. Just to hang out if she was cool. I'd do it like an arranged marriage. Let's hope this works out. Because $10,000 in some ways almost isn't enough. Yeah. Maybe it was more. It depends how many checkups you're doing.

Maybe I'm misremembering. Do you remember if I'm just making up this whole thing? I really, I have a memory of it. And I'm going to ask my friend, though, for the full details. Have him on the bottom. Yeah, I will. So when you got divorced, was there any fear of like canada's gonna be like what the fuck no you'd think you'd think but once once you're in you're in um but also it was fascinating when

we got divorced because i was had just started comedy i was making almost no money and also i wasn't legally allowed to make money for a lot of it because i was in canada but um hadn't gotten my permanent residency yet i've heard that with like trying to tour canada like it can be complicated so i was just there as like a yeah a visitor you know um so i was making money but it was all off the books and then when we got divorced they're so fair about everything that they i they kept going like so you get half of her money right and i was like yeah no that's okay i don't need half of her money imaginary here you go empties her pockets um yeah so they said and i was like no that's fine and then the paper went through and then i got like a letter later they weren't processing it because they

couldn't believe they were just like no no no but look you make this much and she makes this much and you're saying you're not gonna take half of this and i was like no um so it took a little minute to process just because they couldn't understand that that i was like she should keep everything yeah yeah well that was nice yeah are you still are you still friends yeah is she miming she is teaching mime now so she's really moved on that's that's the highest level of mime is to then teach it. Is she though or is she just alone in her apartment pretending she has students?

And no, who knows? I like mimes. I respect it tremendously. When do you see mimes? There was a group in New York called something. And you went to a lot of shows? I saw them once at a showcase thing and they were very good i i i i'm not doubting it i'm just saying like i feel like we have a limited experience of of yeah my marie i i just i admire those people who do clown school

you sir you know i recently they said like in ireland there was a shortage of clowns and i'm like who these industries can exist there's they exist somewhere there's countries that support this kind of art no i i in america i don't know where can i tell you i'm gonna tell you about the two most moving mind pieces i've ever seen okay please and i wish i could remember to do three i i only know i can only think of two um i i wish i could remember who did this but this is such as the art form of mime we don't know we we don't know who these people are um the first one was just like an incredible commentary. This was at least like 15 years ago. And this woman did this whole thing about like walking in high heels and what

it is to be a woman walking in high heels. And it was incredible and like very precise and interesting. And you felt like, Oh, I'm understanding something about sexism even and different expectations of men and women in the world and how they dress and that was one thing and then this other one was this woman i can kind of almost do it where she did this whole thing it was truly incredible she did a thing where like she made her leg from the knee to the foot like be a baby this was like it was clear so and i can't even do it like she's holding it yeah

but i can't even do it because my my muscles here aren't strong enough but first this thing's like jumping around like being a little baby like asking for something and the thing is you believe it like you get invested in this leg as a baby and then yeah she's cradling it and and helping it out and then it's like it's um it's like jumping around whatever and then at some point she smacks it like hey you're bothering me now and that's it you feel it you feel it like oh my gosh i can't believe you hit our little friend like you know they just wanted they just wanted to be held and loved you know and it's like then it occurs to you that like you're just watching this woman's leg and you've so invested in it as a character and then also the like precision and the muscle control and just the imagination also

just end with the hit and then no i think then she's cradling the baby i mean it was just this whole story but i remember the hit because i was kind of like like everybody felt it and it's like it's just this woman's own body what is happening um and so that was really cool like to see people actually doing it uh-huh also the courage i mean you know how hard it is to like get up on stage especially if it's like a cold stage or something right you're hosting or you're just the first one out but saying words into a microphone is pretty freaking normal to like get out there and have enough confidence in yourself and belief in yourself to be like i am going to have all of you fall in love with my leg as a baby. Yeah. Let's go.

Because if you're not pulling that off, that is very embarrassing for everybody. I mean, the one thing about crafting comedy is it's just like, well, at least we know, well, if we get laughs, we're onto something. Right. There's feedback. But if you're creating something like that, you're like, what are the early drafts of that? Someone's like, what are you doing with your leg?

Why'd you slap your leg three minutes in? I don't understand. Exactly. Yeah. How do you build that? I think I like mime and clown for that reason, because I don't understand how people build those shows. Their brains work very differently from mine.

Of course. And I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, especially I just just God bless people who figure out how to make that work as a career, especially in America. I don't know if Canada I mean, I don't know if there out how to make that work as a career, especially in America. I don't know if Canada, I mean, I don't know if there's any mime schools in America right

now. I just know Lecoq in France. Yeah. Yeah. And what was this mime school called? It's called Lecoq de Mime, the mime school. They're all French. Yeah.

But I think it came from the Lecoq tradition. I think there are people that were trained by him. I went to clown school. Did you? In June, 2019. I went to clown school. Did you? In June 2019. Really? Yeah. Wow.

I went to the guru himself, which why am I blanking on the name right now? Because it's somebody that everybody knows. It's not LeCocq. But it's the guy because I'd been in Australia for so many years doing festival shows. And my favorite shows I found out had some connection to this guy I'm gonna have to it's it's nuts that I can't remember his name it'll come to you as you're talking about it lame pandemic brain but so you were you did you enjoy it were you good here's the thing um and I can't believe how often I'm talking about girls on this podcast but I did enjoy it I had been looking forward to doing something like that for

so long um and I felt like I needed to be I put it off for years because I was like it. I had been looking forward to doing something like that for so long. And I felt like I needed to be, I put it off for years because I was like, I think I need more therapy because this guy teaches through what they call the negative method, which is essentially like our kind of thing. Let's have him on the pod. He's not going to tell you what your clown is because that's for you to discover.

Right. But he will tell you what your clown is not. Oh, right. So if you're up there and if you're in any way being inauthentic or just yeah it's exactly no no no um so yeah he sits there with this big drum yeah where are we how okay i'm trying to say six things at once and one thing is i knew i couldn't go there until i had a certain amount of therapy to not cry if this guy banged his drum and went no you know so I was like, okay, finally I got up the courage to go.

The hilarious thing about it is, let's say I was getting on a plane to go there, let's say Saturday, to start school on a Monday. My girlfriend broke up with me on a Thursday night. Oh, wow. That's perfect for clown school. Of four and a half years. Everyone should go to clown school right after a breakup.

Oh, my God. So I was just on the plane to Paris just weeping, like really crying. and like for four years relationship um so i just showed up like in the craziest state um and so it's yeah so he sits there with a big drum which he will bang when you're not and and essentially just get up in front of everybody and just go are you wearing anything a nose after about the first week you you get a costume. And how that happens is we're all standing there in a line.

He wants you to just jump and turn around and like make a noise or something. So you just go like, or you do whatever you do and everybody does it differently. And then he assigns you your character. And for me,

he said, gymnastics teacher. I do bad accent, but I'm doing my best um and so it took me like a day to realize that he meant gym teacher because i was like yeah he just means gym teacher so i got like you know little like adidas jacket and the whistle and the high socks and whatever um but there was a moment when i was running around doing whatever they put on he puts on like clown music like this kind of circusy music and you're meant to like first you like run around the ring a few times right and you're like trying to get people interested and then you stop and then you do your thing whatever

your thing is but you're really just asked to go up there blind and just do it right and I was trying really hard not to lean on words in any way because that's like what I do. So I'm like, really, I'm going to go out of my comfort zone. I'm not going to say anything. Also, I think clown should be like universal, right? You should be able to be from anywhere. Plus, the whole school is very international, whatever. So I get up and then immediately I barely did anything.

I ran around to the music. I stopped. He hit the drum and he goes when the music stop you look very sad and i was like oh i am very sad and then and then he was like all right and he i think overall he was pretty gentle on me for those few weeks because i think it was kind of obvious that i was sad um and so the class was like a three-week class for me what was your clown's name did you get a name that's a good question i probably would have had a name on like the last day and i don't can you connect to the clown is it still there no i don't feel that i fully like experienced or

developed my clown in that moment but it was an amazing exercise and i'm so glad i did it and i like met really cool people and it was it was it was a trip because you weren't like a theater kid no not at all see that's what's so interesting I mean I think it's so good because there's so many comedians like I'm from a theater background so like I did clown in college or whatever but I think it's always so great people who don't start in the theater kid to visit it at a later point in life and i think it's so fascinating i think everyone should be in a classroom too with someone sitting with a stick or a drum at some point and like you're scared of them you're genuinely scared of them because that was a big thing in theater school we did suzuki training and stuff like that and it was like that person has a stick and they and

you're you are like terror you're like scared of them seeing you for a fraud or something yeah yeah and uh it was a good you learned something i think one of the sad things about you know i had a lot of teachers that looking back maybe abusive maybe manipulative yeah but there was a time where i had elders in my life that i respected and was scared because i respected them so much and i wanted i wanted to earn their respect yeah and now it's really hard I I don't know the next time I'll have a teacher I get scared of like yeah I hope a director wants to hire me or a comedy club wants to book me but a teacher I just admire for artistically that I'm

scared of and I want to do well for so to like do that again as an adult go back in a place where I'm like I'm going to give this teacher especially in clown where i have a cynical side that's like this is bullshit but to really force myself to i mean i respect this i respect the drum i'm scared of the drum i would encourage us all to go i would go back again in a better state um book it right now and i would love to take more classes because the thing is i showed up at the the kind of the final unit and there were people it's a two-year program if you're doing the entire thing. And it's clown is just like a section of it. But there's, they do, I don't know,

mask and all various kinds of theater things. But I wanted to say about theater kids. Okay, so I'm devastated, right? It's post-breakup. I, you know, attach way too much to my sense of self-worth in relationships it's like oh what is my life four years is a long four years is also a long time also we got together um my mom died early on in us getting together so that grief was tangled up in there as well i

discovered because it was kind of like and then it was like but at least i have a new home and a new family with this relationship you know what i mean and then so when I was like, ooh, there's a lot of unprocessed. How long were you dating when your mom passed away? It was so new that I didn't think we'd be able to keep dating. So we'd only been together like a month and a half. Man. Yeah. Man, that is.

So I was like, okay, we got to break up because I can't do all these things. Did she go to the funeral? Well, no. She was in Canada. My she go to the funeral? Well, no. She was in Canada. My mom was in the US. Okay. And then right after that, I didn't know anything about grief.

Right after that, I went ahead and did my tour in Australia, which was, I mean, the hardest thing I've ever done because it was like, my mom just died. I'm in shock. I didn't know.

I've never experienced like a death that big, just died. I'm in shock. I didn't know. I've never experienced like a death that big, you know? I'm in shock. And then not only do I, am I trying to deal with that? I'm not only even trying to hold it together day to day, but I have to every night like bring the party to a hundred people that have come to see my comedy show. So it was like, here we go. It was just so difficult.

So, okay, flash forward.. It was just so difficult. So, okay, flash forward. I'm going to clown school. As we've established earlier, I'm not a good sleeper. Certainly not a good sleeper when I'm like in this grief and thinking about all these things. I arrive in Paris completely sleep deprived, crying. Just probably cry all day Sunday. And then Monday, I'm like, okay, listen.

Just show up. People don't know you here. So, yes, you know that you're very sad all you have to do is just not cry from 9 a.m to 2 p.m however long the class is get through it you're allowed to come home and have whatever feelings you want to have after clown school just go there and yes you know you haven't slept in a few days they don't know that you maybe you're just a quiet person maybe you're just maybe you look like this all the time who cares go go ahead and I was like I can do this I showed up at school I'm like meeting people hey how's it going but what I didn't factor was I'm meeting theater people

who aren't just a you know you're not just able to go oh hey welcome to our class they're like hey how's it going what's everything about your deal you know like and they've all been together for almost two years or a year or whatever so they're like psyched about all the fresh blood coming in it's like they are hitting me in the face with this energy and it's at any other moment of my life would have been lovely and in this moment i was just like i can't do this right now it was really a lot that's like uh ashley ray who we had on remember she went to musical theater camp after her dad drowned right after it was a similar thing holy shit i gotta listen to that ep um it was a good episode yeah uh uh yeah i was thinking well because my my girlfriend and i we've been together a little over a year and i say now i'm

trying to figure out on stage but like dating in your 30s it's by the third date all your grandparents have died she's lost two grandparents yeah in this year and it's just like that's just part of it i mean it's just like part of we there was there was a zoom funeral was is the she went in person i watched over zoom and i ate carrots were you on you had the camera turned off i had the camera turned off oh yeah that's fine but i thought it was so i thought it was so interesting i wanted to say that uh the rabbi he's like a very Florida rabbi he's like he just seems like a little bit like

car salesman-y a little bit but like one of the things he her grandfather was in the Holocaust right at the Holocaust and he said something like

you know it's fitting today's the funeral it's four days after the anniversary of Kristallnacht and I was like

I don't know if that's fitting fitting A the anniversary of Kristallnacht I don't know if that's fitting fitting a the anniversary of crystal knocked down of that and it's four days after how many days after before we no longer consider it i mean if that's if that's god's aim if if that's he was like yeah you know what four days after crystal knocked yeah it was just a strange sometimes they try to make things fit it'll work and they don't really know what to do and he thought he had an idea there. He's like looking in the

calendar. He's like, well in five days this thing happened but four days before, Chris did not. So that guy that was speaking had survived the Holocaust or the person who died? The person who died, Tova's grandfather. Right. I mean, I think it's fair enough that if you have any proximity to the Holocaust for

the rest of your life and or if you're the children and grandchildren of those people you will relate everything back to them sure like it doesn't make a lot of logical sense to me but it's like yeah fair enough you'd always be like it's guess what it's 219 days from kristallnacht i like they go the long way as opposed to the short way still matters yeah um. So, okay. So you did clown school. I need to Google the name

because it's unreasonable that I can't remember because this guy also, he trained, like so many people have gone to his, like Helena Bonham Carter went to this school.

Sasha Baron Cohen is probably the most famous and easy to reference because it's like, look at what he does. If he came up with Borat and he did the drum, he was like,

you are from Kazakhstan kazakhstan clown i liked the second board did you watch it yeah a lot of people complained really i mean it was harsh but it was funny it was harsh i think like anyone who like anyone who's like allergic to any kind of message like saw it as a very uh Anyone who's allergic to any kind of message saw it as a very pro-feminism movie and was upset about it. I think there was a group of comedy guys who loved Borat as kids. Who don't like any kind of whiff of feminism. I thought it was a very pro... It was a very feminist movie. It was.

Do you think they recognized that though or something was off for them? I thought it was a very like pro. It was a very feminist movie. It was. And I think for any, like any guy who like. Do you think they recognized that though? Or they just were like, something was off for them? Do you know what I mean? I think something was off for them or they just like, they,

you know, it's just a kind of guy. Yeah. I mean like my stepfather, who's like very serious from Ohio, when he saw Borat, my mom always says, when he saw Borat,

the first movie, he, he, my mom always says, when he, it was like a turning point in their relationship. No. When he saw Borat, the first movie, he... My mom always says when he saw Borat. It was like a turning point in their relationship when he saw Borat. And he just laughed in a way that, like, she had never seen him laugh before.

Oh, wow. Like, that scene with the two naked men, him and the other guy wrestling naked, like, I think for some people, it was just one of the funniest things they'd ever seen. You found the name? Of course. Philippe Goliath.

You might have heard of Goliath. Oh, Philippe him i mean this is a clown that's amazing master and like do do people exist like that now um do you know what i mean like when those kind of people are gone is there someone in the in like the ranks of clowning do you know it feels like an old dude or like sometimes those teachers like Sandy Meisner was a classic acting teacher the Meisner method and like you know I hear stories now

like he had like an island that he would bring his favorite his favorite boys to. Yeah. My uncle was one of those boys that he brought to his island. Is that true?

Yeah. Oh I didn't know that was Meisner. Oh yeah. So what does your uncle have to say about that? It's complicated. Complicated with the uncle. I don't think he has any complaints about Sandy.

I'm sure if we heard what happened, we'd go, well, we have some complaints. Yeah, yeah. But I don't think he had any complaints at the time. Not okay now. Yeah. But a lot of those, I've always had a thing with acting where I do like mean acting teachers

My teacher passed away about a year ago was very monstrous in many ways and I also think horrible towards women I think I got the lighter end I think in general in acting men in general in the world but in acting too

women have been treated just terrible oh yeah so sometimes i see these teachers and i'm like i don't know if it fits in with the way we view art now i just i just like mean acting teachers in a way that i don't think they would survive in today's world and i'm like well maybe that's for the best yeah go ahead sorry oh no i was gonna say about goliath i I think that he himself says he teaches through this negative method. Right. But I do think that there is a method to it and a consciousness to it because I really feel as though he saw that I was a bit fragile and probably was also like this person's here

for three weeks, not here for two years. Like he didn't go too hard with me in any way but i did see him really push other students that he knew better um there there was a time when it became uncomfortable just once now that i'm thinking it through um but for the most part i think he was taking care of people um with his feedback and kind of how far he would push someone and what they were capable of yeah but that can easily go wrong and and there's this like cultish feeling to it all yeah of course yes it's a problem those acting teachers there's culty things yeah but i think it helps it helps in some ways and then it's abused it does like you do like also like you remember like feeling like devastated like

now it's like a funny story but you you're like, we remember in the time, like there were like moments you were so embarrassed or so, because it was so, it's like a, you're those classes are so you're so vulnerable. And so like, I'm doing this thing that's so uncomfortable. And,

and then to feel like you do something wrong or get like, we, they would put our acting teacher in grad school would put the notes for our, like these like these like and we would have to do weird performance art kind of stuff sometimes. And you put the they put the notes on the on the like public wall and they would be. And I remember my favorite one ever that it was devastating at the time. It makes me laugh so hard now. It said we were doing some I think it was an old coward thing and he said russell he said adding props to this disaster only reveals you as the low class poser that you are wow oh my god and i was

like oh wow and it's like i've always like i remember seeing that being like like and i i think of it so often and it makes me laugh it is like did you cry when you went home why so hard i know see but i love that there's something in me that i'm like yeah break him down low class poser that you are um i was like okay okay okay but was that meant to i i can't get behind this but was that meant meant? You haven't known him for that long. He is a low class poser. Oh, he's from Bainbridge, New York. Was that, if it was, I still don't think he did it the right way, but if it was meant to kind of reveal, listen,

I think you think this about yourself. You're a low class poser from Bainbridge, New York. Guess what? We all see it. It's not a big deal. Let's move on. Maybe that's what it's meant to do, but I don't like it at all. No, I don't like it.

He's changed actually a lot. It's interesting to speak to him now. He's like a totally different human. I think he things have changed and pushing people to the brink of things. It was interesting to see him. He felt like a different person in a way of like a gentler like like and i i know i'm not in his class but just even talking to him in conversation it was like oh he's way different than than he what he used either that would never

happen in in the time but i'm like that wasn't that long ago i mean i was there in like 2008 you think he was a good teacher though did he did he help make you a better actor yes here's the thing i don't know about makes a better actor i i thought it was good for me at the time for someone who um was like didn't have a voice of like i i did i i felt very i insecure about because i was going into a grad program and everyone else had had bfas and things like that and i had no like training of acting things so i was and i was like i was approaching everything with like i'm i'm not worthy i'm like like that kind of thing so i feel like there was a toughness thing there that uh eventually i was able to feel a lot more confident in in in things and in my ability and and i was thankful just like with the amount of like stuff that we had to do there I felt like it was like a

like I don't I would never go and do it now like but like at that time in my life when I was 23 and I was like I don't know anything

it was helpful then no one could say anything like that and it affected me as it could when I was 18 I'd be like okay

I'm a low class poser it wouldn't do it it wouldn't do it anymore yeah and i think that's the that's one of the sad things about it is it is fucked up because then you're like you're like there's a there's a weird thing where uh uh you're those are it's like a very vulnerable time in people's lives yeah you're there's like a very fine line it's very easy to take advantage of people yes in that state yeah and and of course like a lot of times listen i didn't go to theater school i don't know i don't know i'm just like talking now but i do think that a lot of times like people in positions that are teaching sometimes

there are people who have failed at what they're trying to teach you know or plenty failed at what they're teaching or what there's some tragedy or sense of failure in their own lives so it'd be pretty easy to um have all these vulnerable students looking at you wide-eyed and uh abuse your power i think it just happens it happens so often especially for me now if i ever like got an acting teacher and i always have a fantasy with a master class part of me is like i want people who aren't cut out for this to to save themselves now i think it would be tough because i certainly know in acting class some people you're like this is never gonna happen yeah yeah and like yeah you

gotta you gotta get out of here because this this you'll you'll throw your life away i know the people yeah you know the people you you you out direct day one do you think though okay how much do you think they're really throwing their life away though even Even if someone is a bit delusional, right? And they're like, I want to be an actor. And you can see it's never going to happen for them. If they enjoy the process the entire way and then die and they die with hopes and dreams, maybe tomorrow would have been the day that I booked that audition or whatever. Is that a waste?

Is that a failure? Also, also, I agree. And also. You didn't let me answer. Yes. You also said I agree to truly a question. But I think it's. Well, you're saying, you're saying maybe.

But also them being in this, in this thing, it might lead them to something else. And if they were kicked out on the thing, it might not. You know what I'm saying? Okay. Okay. Here's what I say. I'd be like, okay, don't pursue TV shows in New York. Go to a small town and do a Death of a Salesman for a town that loves and respects you.

Be the coolest guy that's ever done Death of a Salesman. But I was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm the other day, and there was a young, probably like a 16-year-old, and maybe she'll grow up to be a great actress someday. But I was watching, and I was like, this person's not talented. And I know that they're trying in this scene, and I bet like, this person's not talented. And I know that like they're trying in the scene. And I bet like their friends, they saw them on Curb and were like, you're great. You did a great job. And I just like can see their whole future.

She's on Curb. She's doing better than me. Sure. She's doing better than me. But she's never going to make it. She's already on Curb Your Enthusiasm, Don Marco. She's clearly someone's daughter. She's clearly someone's daughter. She's clearly someone's daughter.

Whether the real person daughter. But I just like I saw I felt sadness because I saw her like trying. Right. And I'm like, you're bad. This is the thing. This is what's so terrifying about clown school acting. Anything. It feels as though there's nothing more embarrassing than being witnessed trying.

Either you're doing it or you're not but like it's embarrassing to see someone try yeah and not quite make it for them and for us watching and a clown how do you know if you a clown it's even the question of are you a good clown are you a bad clown is an interpretation is it is even looser but that someone could be clowning i can tell you it is painfully obvious in that in that room you could feel it well very few people at least in that in that scenario are going to succeed because when we do the when we got to the clown part um like morning we're playing games we're doing theater stuff whatever and then in the afternoon everyone's a bit tired it was a historic heat wave in france it was like over i'm gonna say 40 degrees that's celsius but whatever that is in fahrenheit very very very hot no ac um it's after the no ac is after the lunch break everyone is tired sweaty you know and to to

get up and try to make everybody laugh in that moment it's like it either works or it doesn't most of the time it's not working but when it works you can't articulate why necessarily but you all kind of agree like yeah okay this is funny we're all we're laughing this is interesting to us you'd be a tremendous clown i could see it someday he's very funny i i don't feel like i'm i i don't think of myself funny in that way but i don't know i'm not opposed to it i don't know if i'm silly enough tova the other day was saying like there's like i i'm not silly i like funny yeah she didn't mean that as a, she said like I could be silly when I get like stoned,

I get like a little silly. That's me too. Yeah. Yeah. But like as a comedian, I mean, I write out, I'm very,

I'm very didactic. Yeah. It's very clear. Me too. And I'm like a funny teacher. Yeah. Yeah. I hear that.

I hear that. But you're silly. You're a silly bully. Oh, thank you. When you said the thing about the trying and making people uncomfortable, I think that's why people are so weird about actors or comics or things in general in the world.

Because they're like, if I don't see you on a Netflix special or see you on Broadway or in a thing, I don't know what to do with you. What are you doing? It's almost like you have to have a thing to be like. That they consider a success, right? Yes. That's an interesting thing. Otherwise, they don't know if you're crazy.

Well, this is back to the idea of delusion and wasting your life. That was a genuine question. I'm wondering, I think if someone's content. I think there's too many people exploiting. There's just too many users yes yes in in all the realms anything yeah garbage yeah it's garbage garbage but that's how i started my acting career was pay to play meaning casting directors that's how i started yeah i got my first tv credits in my commercial and so i was able to use the scam to my advantage but i know the people

that are fucking you know know, getting fucked. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I don't know. I think it's a real, I,

I, I, none of these, no teachers are paid enough period. But like, I do feel like some of these teachers, their job should be, if someone's giving them money to,

to pursue a profession and they know deep in their heart that someone needs to readjust their expectations. That is egregious. That is the responsibility i think so too and as all these colleges offer more and more colleges are offering not mime school but in america there's now emerson's offering a comedy major there's musical theater majors acting majors there's all this stuff and they just the amount of money these colleges are charging are so egregious yeah that i think there has to be some kind of oversight that does not exist currently yeah i'm gonna jump in with a hot opinion i wasn't

sure i had until right the second but comedy major this should not be happening but why see i think i i think if i put a curriculum together i mean four years is a lot but two years i feel like i could i could there's so many things we could cover. But I would also cover TikTok. I'd cover social media. I'd cover mailing lists. I'd cover making a set. But in that case, it's a business major, which is fine. Because business is unfortunately a huge part of comedy.

And even like you said, moving these tickets in Syracuse, that's on you to figure out. That's not even comedy anymore. That's marketing. It's some kind of strategy you can teach comedy i think you can i think listen comedy stand-up is newer than acting acting has been around for forever and there was a long time where no one taught acting stella adler would always say you're in an acting company and the first you learn how to

hold a spear and that's your first acting lesson but like stand-up comedy is newer eventually people will just like with acting come up with systems and formulas and they will not be perfect, but they'll help you learn. I just I think I still want comedy to be like the last bastion where anybody can just get up and go for it and make it work. I feel like making it work, like being successful in stand up or figuring out how to be on stage and make people laugh. Part of that process is everything you have to figure out on your own before you get there i agree but i think that's what acting used to be too and maybe it is bastardized right now and maybe these bfa programs will eventually fail because enough people will have gone to them and then go into real estate in four years because then people start doubting them and maybe that's good the risk would be then

like then you're like, oh, these three schools have the best stand-up comedy. It's just we don't need more barriers and bullshit. I don't know. I don't, why is this bothering me so much? No, no, no.

It's, I see, I see what, I see what you're saying too. It's a barrier, but it's also an entry point. Like if you don't know, there was a time,

people always say like older comedians are like, I didn't know there was something you could do. And now people kind of know that, oh, there are ways to get into this. I think I just don't want to hear any more from rich kids. I don't want to hear, I don't know there was something you could do. And now people kind of know that, oh, there are ways to get into this. I think I just don't want to hear any more from rich kids.

I don't want to hear. I don't want to hear from anybody who has this time. You have to put down your mic. Yeah. Who has the time and money to go to a comedy college. It's not their fault their parents had money. No, but I mean, it is one of those things. It's not their fault.

It's not their fault their parents had things where people have been figuring it out people have been figuring it out for a long time and finding their voices and finding out what works for them and how they could do it

and get into it I found comedy this was not the plan I was a musical theater kid so I found it later yeah I don't know but people go to college

for all sorts of things get rid of college then no for sure the problem is it costs too much money why are we even talking about any of this? Get rid of college. Get rid of college.

It's insane that college exists. I'm there too. So real quick before we get to the final thing. But I like, wait, hang on. We had like some actual tension here, which was fun and exciting.

Oh yes. The, about the rich, the rich thing. Yeah. Or, and, or just the thing.

Cause you push back really hard. I'm like, I'm gonna have a hot take. No comedy for anybody. And you're like, no, there needs to be a structure. And there's a way of learning. Because do think like it doesn't schools aren't

inherently bad like like people okay people always shit on comedy the stand-up comedy classes and i think they do so because a a lot of them are taught by people who uh did not succeed in comedy exactly b people go and i think they do this too easily they go like well you can't you A lot of them are taught by people who did not succeed in comedy. B, people go, and I think they do this too easily. They go like, you can't teach comedy. You can't help anybody. And it becomes this thing of like, oh, there's no way to help anyone in an artistic sphere. And I don't think that's true.

I think it can be very individualized. And like if someone came to me and wanted help on their act uh i think i could like talk them through certain things i think at a certain point there's a letting go and there's a like here's just thoughts consider this here's a punch line it might not be right for what you're going for but i think there's a lot you can contribute to someone and help them uh it's one of these things where like i i don't want to do it because i want to work on my own shit i agree with you there and i'm all about learning like definitely yeah as you were saying that i was like take a look at my act punch it up you know like that would be i'd love to have a drum while people were doing stand-up i go no no i mean the problem is it's that's what the silence feels like I mean there is the built in drum when it comes to stand up

oh fuck I kind of lost it I was like maybe my issue my issue is I think there is a certain amount of I'm going to say grit and determination there's a certain amount that you need to make it in stand up comedy I think or kind of deal with how

harsh the rejection can be and everything that if you need someone to hold your hand at the beginning and go, let me show you what a microphone looks like and this is how you do this and don't forget

to put the stand to the side and your first show is going to be with all your friends and family. That's fine, but I just think you... You think first time

should be at the Apollo. I think there's a toughness required and you're maybe not helping someone by gently holding their hand. I don't just screw with that. Yeah. And I think there's a toughness required and you're maybe not helping someone by um gently holding I don't just screw with that yeah yeah and I think I think there's a certain degree of it's hard to tell with comedy where like I feel like it's obviously especially with stand-up

there was uh men kind of setting the tone of like what everything was and so it's harsh and mean I always love your bit about killing and murdering oh right because I use that language a lot yeah and it was the first i was like oh yeah that is pretty violent um that that's how i described me doing well i murdered i'm like we connected but i do think there's also this thing where like as stand-up has become more like welcoming and kinder and maybe like kind of supportive mics and whatnot where like there is also a degree where i feel like delusion is fostered delusion is supported yeah but i don't know what the balance is between like being welcoming and especially like uh being open in a way where people from all sorts of backgrounds and everything can come into stand-up and try it and a mix with not fostering delusion i i remember i was writing with

a comic named um jp and he was talking about performing at Catch a Rising Star. And in the urban comedy scene, in the black comedy scene, talk about like you got to fucking be strong in yourself. And he was talking about going to Catch a Rising Star and he bombed. And he went backstage and Tracy Morgan said, he went up to Tracy,

Tracy was like, don't get that bomb on me and he said oh my god and he had bombed he had bombed but at least he was straightforward that's how a lot of us feel but we're not gonna say it out loud

and he said he went to an alley he went to the alleyway and cried and cried and cried and there's a part of me that I'm like

yeah that's great I remember once I was at a Brooklyn show Whitney Chanel Clark great comic someone went up kind of bombed and I was still very new in comedy and this yeah that's great i remember once i was at a brooklyn show uh whitney chanel clark great comic someone went up kind of bombed and i was still very new in comedy and this this uh kind of comic bombed and uh the dj played like a and then whitney came up and she was hosting and she was like guys i'm so sorry for that i'm so sorry about that and i was like god damn yeah but

there's another part of me i I'm like, fucking good. Yeah. That person's going to decide, are they going to go home and work on this shit or not? Yeah. Right, right. And I don't know. You know, even as I was saying, though, as I was like, I don't think it helps to gently hold your hands and say, this is how the mic works. I couldn't help but think of Joe Firestone's lovely special.

What's it called? Oh, yeah. On Peacock. Yes. I don't remember the name of it. It's not too late. Something like that. Something about time

in which she teaches seniors how to do comedy and it was freaking beautiful and it was very gentle and sweet and this is what a mic looks like and this is how you approach the mic stand and I loved that. Well, I would argue this

that I do think I wish there was kind of a separation of hobby and professional. That's where I was going to go next. Where I sometimes think like, as like a working comic, there's sometimes people that I'm like, if this is your hobby, that's fine.

But I wish you wouldn't be going up at the stand. Yeah, like don't take our time. Don't take our time. Don't take our money. I mean, like these spots again, these aren't where I'm making my living per se, but it's like, can there be some kind of separation?

Because then I won't be mad. Then I won't be like, fuck, why are you on this show? I know. Why are you doing this? You can only hope they, and I mean,

eventually they do drop away, but that frustrates me as well. There needs to be a difference between like, you think this is a cute hobby. Meanwhile, this is our fucking life. Because like Joe Firestone is,

like that was fun, but then I think of those seniors like, oh, now I'm gonna, I'm gonna go take this spot then it'd be like okay it's not cute anymore you're not that good we were giving you a lot of benefit of doubt here they're going to bed by 7 30 don't worry about them they're not taking your spots um well uh uh but just i wanted before we go to the final segment now that you've

been in you've been in canada you were in canada for a long time and now back in america back in america are you are you happy do you miss canada i do miss canada um and i am happy do you feel canadian and you're do you feel like i'm a canadian i do i do in the way that that's where i started comedy and that's where i did comedy for i don't know more than 10 years so it feels like a part of me also every time i travel people just assume i'm canadian i guess because i'm polite and a little bit quiet or something whatever the stereotypes are of canadians and american people just assume i'm canadian um no as i'm discovering there is no country to which you can run to escape what feels like uh rising global fascism you know canada has its own issues we're all very well aware of you've always been a big

fan of justin trudeau's halloween costumes oh yeah yeah i mean that guy's funny um but there is a sense in canada where things feel slightly more sane and there is like a greater social safety net which i appreciate why did you come back? Come to the United States? My manager forever has been like, you really need to live in the U.S. And I'm just giving it a try. You know what I mean? We're all, you know, we're on a train to somewhere. We have however much longer we have in this world.

Why not just give it a try? Yeah. Plus my girlfriend's here. Sure. I didn't realize this. just keeps happening to me. Yeah. Um, is it,

is it going, you feel good here as a standup you feeling? I mean, there's a lot of great standups here. Yeah. I really have, to be honest, I've yet to plug into the scene cause I've been kind of back and forth and on

the road a bit. Um, but what I've seen, I love and I'm shockingly, uh, happy. I'm like, I'm. And I'm shockingly happy. I'm like, I'm adjusted to the city life pace. I feel small town in my heart.

I feel Indicott, New York in my heart. And yet, I'm loving. I'm loving the bustle. I'm loving the hustle. Good, good, good. I'm loving the people. Well, let's go to our This Has Gotta Stop. This Has Gotta Stop.

This Has Gotta Stop. Good, good. That's a good music cue. Douglas Goodheart. Do you have a This Has Gotta Stop gotta stop okay i thought about this today um and it's obvious that i thought about this in the shower the relentless demands of the body have got to stop yeah it's too much the constant eating sure which of course lends itself to dishes know, just everything involved with what it is to scrounge food for yourself every day. It won't stop.

The need to sleep. Sleep for me, when I've just been thinking about it more, it's just like this is the hardest part of my life. That I'm not a good sleeper. Being with someone who is a good sleeper, it's like, ugh. What if you could just power down like you know sleep mode on the computer you so you've closed your eyes you're resting and you wake up refreshed that was there was a james bond villain where like his invention this was one of the older james bond he had like a mask that let him only sleep two hours a night oh my god and with that

he was able to take over the world like that's all that if it was a button and you could just you know i have fantasy i'm always like oh if i never had to sleep again first i'd catch up on all my tv shows then i then i'd read which i know that's not true but i'm always like i'd read books then i know we all have then i'd read books if i ate more hours in the day i'd start reading eventually there'd be time for books yeah the relentless demands of the body everything about it the toenails a big one body hair i was gonna say too it's growing just keeps keeps growing. Just keeps growing. And as you age, fellas, it just pops up everywhere. Yeah.

It just keeps growing. Yeah. Do you have shoulder hair and stuff? I have a little bit. I have chest hair and then I have a little like up here. Sometimes I shave. Talk to me about being a man with chest hair. Is there, what's the fashion in chest hair?

Does it change? Or is it just like, I'm a man, I have body hair, deal with fashion in chest hair does it change it's just like i'm a man i have body hair deal with it yeah i don't i don't have enough you have a lot more chest hair than i have a lot it's still not like it's not like steve carell thick i'm just hairy kind of all over i used to be self-conscious partly because my mom horrible would say like if i were tanked up she's like no one wants to see all that hair and i'd be like this is you jewish bitch uh but yeah that doesn't seem fair but then there's lots of women who like love hairy guys okay like so so that made me feel i used to be very self-conscious i have hair all along like my butt and all that stuff when i was like uh

when i was in like high school i remember seeing green day in concert and billy billy bob what's his name billy bob he would what's his name billy billynton. What's his name? Billy Joe. Billy Joe. Billy Joe would moon the audience. And he had a smooth butt. And I remember like, oh, I want that butt for me. That's so cute. I love it.

There's always that thing where I'm like, am I attracted to this butt or do I want it on me? Yeah. But I was always self-conscious about that. But then you meet women who, for me, that's what it took for me to be like, okay, then fine. Right. If whoever I'm with is into this. What about your chest hair situation and how do you feel about it? meet women who who for me that's what it took for me to be like okay then fine right yeah if whoever i'm with is into this what about your chest hair situation and how do you feel about it i feel fine i don't it doesn't feel like a burden it feels like a good amount okay and it doesn't feel i

have noticed some grays coming in here and there chest hair uh just a couple but but it it's pretty like it's been pretty much the same forever something about the gray pube is one of those where i'm like death death is coming i literally found one like last week yoink and the thing about the gray they have to come in thicker and weirder like they're not normal they're not just like i'm gray they're like i'm gray yeah get out of here i think i will die when my hair if it starts getting more grays i will i don't like it I don't like it. I don't like it. You could die. Here's the thing.

I think we'll look great on you though, because you have dark, you know, dark, I'm going to say dark features. That's not a thing people say, but like dark hair, your complexion,

gray, salt and pepper King. Good. Yeah. I just hate, you know, this is I'm 33 now. This,

this last year, year and a half was the first time I was like, oh yeah, I'm getting older and I can't stop it and I'm living through it. I don't know. It's just like, there's some new, there was some new level of whether it be body pain or everything. And I'm like, yeah, this is what happens. This is what happens.

And I'm in it now. Did you feel, I feel like when i first turned 30 it was almost like this first turn 30 because i'm going to continue to turn 30 and no one can stop me um there was this sense of like oh the things people have been saying are correct like somehow it's just like delusional in my 20s like whatever i'm never gonna die you guys are wrong you don't know and then i can't even think of specific things but somehow when i turned 30 i was like oh i feel like i just understood a certain amount of like societal wisdom i think i think both and i also think with that i also thought like oh how boring like that that you're like it's true and now i'm talking about it and i'm talking to younger people about it and they're like what the

fuck and i'm like this boring boring cycle to death well you do start to care and you want to like trade tips on like you know again taxes or whatever bullshit yeah that we're forced to deal with as adults oh this has got to stop this guy's not aging the relentless demands of the body uh all right well let's let's end with something one nice thing a blessing your blessing you better count your blessing russell do you have a blessing yeah sometimes sometimes i feel like this is a very long you all reach out to douglas see if you can make a shorter one it's very preachery at the end yes yeah um uh okay so i had i got uh we got neighbors like, like maybe a month and a half ago.

And I, this is a small thing, but I really appreciate it. I feel like, um, anytime I run into them, they are, they're so nice. They're lovely.

They're there, but it's quick combos. But what I think is sometimes when I'm leaving, when I'm coming back into the door, I hear that they're leaving. I think they're very respectful of like, we don't have to run into each other all the time. Do know what I mean like in my hallway it's just me and one other there's only two apartments on the top floor and so I I feel like we we have a good system going of

of we're respectful of like one of them is in the hall with their dog or something I'll I'll wait a little bit and then do it so we don't we don't have to run into each other unnecessarily and and and I I don't think we're we like each other it's just a thing of like let's just keep it you know moving in a nice way you don't need to say hi seven times a day yeah yeah yeah and it's and it's like i'm not opposed to running into them but i just feel like it's a respect thing of like they're like oh he's he's in we can leave you know what i mean like that if you hear a well-defined relationship is a wonderful thing. And maybe I'm putting my own thing into it

because I'm doing that for them. But I feel like I've heard it happen a few times where my door is closed and their door is opened right after. And I was like, ah, they heard me and they were being respectful, you know? I like that. That's a great one. So I like them.

I want to say, I hope this doesn't come off as self-aggrandizing. So this episode's coming out December 23rd. We're recording this now. Well, happy holidays, everybody. Happy holidays. So this sweater.

Yes, it's currently September 10th, 2001. Love that joke. I have to think of more dates. I don't know any more historical dates you could say i want to do before canada 1941 which was for pearl harbor pearl harbor wow good for you yeah um i'll learn some more history uh or or that that mexico what was that army called

the zapatista army all i know is it's 1994 so we got to find a date in there i think it was december anyway um uh so i i did a headlining weekend at carolines i'm in the middle of it So we got to find a date in there. I think it was December. Anyway. Um, uh, so I, I did a headlining weekend at Caroline's. I'm in the middle of it. And like, I, uh,

whenever the checks, one of the hard things about headlining is, uh, you, you really eat the check spot and it's going to be brutal. You're like, I feel like sometimes I never get them back to where I got them right before the check spot. It's just so brutal.

But I always try to make a really big effort to just say tip your staff. But then I go a little bit further. I'm like, go for 25%. Do 25 tonight. Do 30. And sometimes the audience shuts down. They were applauding for the waiter. I was like, give them 30%.

And it stopped. But it's an easy thing to do. Sometimes you're just doing it just to just to like reset the room a little bit but i i always feel like i feel really good because sometimes after the show the server will come and be like thanks for the extra shout out tonight we got good tips we got better tips than normal and like it's a really it's such, it's no sweat off my back. But it feels, it just feels really nice to feel like, oh, cool. We're all doing this together. And, you know, it's always nice to feel that connection with the servers because they're helping you with the show. And it just feels good.

It just feels good. You know, it's headlining is still newish. And it's kind of like, oh, I can set the tone for the staff's evening tonight by my behavior and if i'm cool and nice comics come in it's like absolutely you hear the stories like you were just like people adapting to the energy and being like yeah you know like just kind of like crazy yeah yeah crazy see i i used it when i was crazy. But you were talking about a male comic in your head. Yeah. So that's okay.

Yeah, fair enough. That's one of my favorite things to do too, because it's like people just need a little push sometimes or be reminded that it's possible. I love if I'm doing like a charity gig, if it's at all possible, I love to just shake people down. Like I've definitely been on stage before being like,

hey, we're getting money for this place tonight. And I'll be like, sir, that's a nice looking watch. You got another $10 to kick in? And like I've literally like rustled up money in the room because I think it's hilarious. Yeah.

And people have it. Of course. Yeah. It's very, I mean, all that stuff is so psychological. Like in that moment, you could get them

to give a lot more. Yeah. That's fun. That's what I'm going to do. Try to literally get cash out of their hands. Then give it to the servers i once thought i was gonna be like we at the end we calculate whoever left the lowest tip i'm gonna bring you on stage and roast you oh that's just as a threat and then see if it helped i bet it would actually i bet it would too oh i bet you

could hundreds dollar difference if it was like a big show yeah not these shows i'm doing uh so what do you have a blessing well yes a blessing is that what it's called yeah i was like a big show yeah not these shows i'm doing uh so what do you have a blessing well yes a blessing is that what it's called yeah i was like remind me what the name of the segment is um just in general i've been trying to pay attention and it's really worth doing every day to how many things are going right at every moment because really we're kind of living in a series of things perfectly working out and it's just really it's more uh it's easier and more obvious to kind of ah this thing didn't work today or that's trains late or my phone fell whatever it is but so many things are constantly going right that it's actually kind of mind

boggling yeah yeah i i think about it sometimes like whenever i go down to the subway and i get the train like right when it leaves I'm like oh remember this because that one time that you don't get the train just know that you made a couple too

remember the good ones what station is it because I'm still so new to New York but I feel like the A and C trains go there maybe it's Union Union Square

14th which one has the little yes I think it is which one has the little I don't know if they're brass or whatever the little sculpture people I believe yes I believe that's 14th which one has the little yes i think it is which one has the little um i don't know if they're brass or whatever the little sculpture people i believe i believe that's 14 14th i'm still so new to new york and so wide-eyed that one time i popped out at that subway and i was like oh look at these little guys yeah and it was like i mean again okay public art what a

blessing yeah public art is is such a wonderful thing and it's such a hard thing because everything else is so bad it's hard to imagine justifying spending any money on anything that isn't to fix the trains yeah but it's beautiful i love the art now all the money's going to those fucking screens and you know the big screens in the subway that oh oh yeah and i got the big screens in the subway there's screens that like tell you when the next subway like there's the big, or there are ads. And I can't, I feel a thrill every time I see

that someone smashed one of those fucking screens up. Oh, Joe Margo. I fucking, I want to do it too. I hate the subways. Are you still okay with the subways? I'm okay with the subways, but also this is my first experience. I don't know what to expect.

I don't have an imagination for how they could be better. Yeah. I think, yes, there's a corrupt thing leading it and but i think the design of it like sometimes when like you're saying when things work out you're like what an amazing thing i got so far yeah a million people a day are taking it so like the design is there but yes it is a corrupt and you know in japan once the train was 15 minutes late and they went to the news to apologize?

That if the train's late, every passenger gets a slip so they can show it to their boss to prove that the train fucked up. Can you imagine if they give us a slip every time the train fucked up? I mean, that is a thrilling part of living in New York. We all take advantage of it, though. We talk about this. Have you used that as a lie yet? You start using it as a lie.

The trains. The trains. I haven't had to yet, but I can always do the like, I'm new to New York and I didn't really calculate the, you know. I love,

because you were on time today at the trick of work, but you do the thing where you tell me like, I'm leaving at this time. And I'm like, Russell, I don't care when you leave.

I care when you're gone. I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you. You're telling me, you're telling me to mean like, hey, look, I'm putting in the work. I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you. You're telling me. You're telling me to mean like, hey, look. Well, I'm telling you. I'm putting in the work. I'm telling you.

I'm leaving a huge window. And if anything goes wrong, I don't care. I left. I put in a thing. I did my part. Because if it all goes right, I'm going to be here 30, 40 minutes early. But if it goes wrong, that's my. You have a limit when you're in New York of like how much time for what a thing is worth sure like do i think i mean i think i showed up five minutes late

did that but to me that feels on time because that's just how that's fine for me yeah i think what we had the other situation was our guest i screwed up 15 minutes early and russell's 15 minutes late so like we get i thought i got the time and it's not we're chilling and i'm like i don't want to talk too much because we're going to talk about stuff. We want to talk about on the podcast. We had a great conversation with him. Buddy the rat. Buddy the rat.

Yeah. That was a great, that was the last episode. Um, uh, well, uh, uh,

oh, anything you want to plug? Yeah. Oh yeah, sure. Why not? Um, although if this is coming out December 23rd,

I don't know, but I do have, I do have a monthly online show called Dan Smith and acquaintances. I'm keeping the online shows alive. It's very fun. I've been doing the corporate Zooms and the Zooms have been coming back for me. Oh, wow. That's so cool.

Yeah. I've been doing them. So that's great. I mean, I'm enjoying it. It's once a month on Fridays. So just like, I don't know, Google around or find me and I'll tell you where. And I have a monthly show in New York. I don't know what the dates for 2022 yet are,

but it's at Union Hall, and that one's called De-Anarchy. Very fun. You don't have anything to plug? No specific dates. Follow me on Instagram, Russell J. Daniels. Uncle Function shows will be starting up again in January.

I don't know. Probably. I'm going to be at the Philly Punchline December 30th through January 1st. And then just find me online. We got some dates coming up. We got the Syracuse Funny Bone. Woo!

Is that in January? No, Syracuse, it's like April. We did it in the future so I can get those tickets. Listen, I forgot about real stand-up. Guys, I'm also going to be in Detroit. I'm going to be in Fort Wayne. I'm going to be in Indianapolis. Comedy Castle. in fort wayne i'm gonna be in indianapolis

um castle castle yeah yeah comedy castle's great you've been there no never good time yeah so that'll be fun that's where i got that i'm still wearing this jar i was in i was in royal oak and i asked the host i was like is there some place to get a good salad around here and he he said yeah it's a pretty liberal area and it made sense it made sense and it's just like i'm trying to build this like like how did the how did these things come together because you don't hear conservatives be like it's god guns and kale it's just so i'm trying to figure out yeah it was interesting it's a pretty liberal that's very funny yeah yeah it's a good area comedy castle is fantastic you're

gonna have a great time yeah um so uh i guess what's your social medias again it's dn underscore smith most places are just dn smith listen i'm? It's dn underscore Smith. Most places are just dnsmith. Listen, I'm the most successful dnsmith there is. So give it a Google. We'll tag it in this and Russell me. And remember, just like the subways in New York, they're moving one direction and that is downhill.

This is the downside