The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #73 Inside the Unemployed Actors Studio

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

On today's episode of The Downside, our producer Paige Asachika interviews Gianmarco and Russell about their generally unsuccessful lives. Gianmarco discusses growing up in the Beverly Hills of Maryland, when his dad dated his kindergarten teacher and then his mom got her fired, and his thankfully brief skater boi phase. Russell shares growing up in Bainbridge, why he loves The Golden Girls, and what he wants for his funeral (to not die). We also discuss the future of the Patreon, deadly subway encounters, and Paige gives us one of the best gifts of all time. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Follow PAIGE ASACHIKA on instagram Catch the next Uncle Function show here Follow GIANMARCO SORESI on twitter, instagram, tiktok, & youtube Check out GIANMARCO SORESI's special 'Shelf Life' on amazon & on spotify Subscribe to GIANMARCO SORESI's mailchimp Follow RUSSELL DANIELS on twitter & instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Fawn Sullivan, Paige Asachika, & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello. Welcome to a very special, maybe a not special, special, special episode. How often do we have this person here? Sure, sure. We'll get to that. Okay. My name is Jamarcus Urezi. I'm the host of The Downside and I'm here with my co-host. Russell Daniels. Russell. Thank you. I've lost. Skip.

Today is a special episode uh uh because we're here with uh our producer our producer right yes okay good good just making sure uh uh uh uh she does so many things uh for for me helping me on the road she's a social media manager producer uh currently are we allowed to say your current job or are you keeping it secret? I don't know. I don't know if I'm allowed to disclose that information. Really? I don't know if I'm allowed to be like associated with it, honestly.

Okay. Okay, well, don't. Well, she has other work. I want you to know she's making it all for me for sure. But she's here. Paige Asachika. Yes. Welcome, welcome.

Thank you. Just bring the mic a little closer just in case because we're loud as fuck yeah but we're gotta match the energy you do gotta match get ready to ramp it up

alright and the reason we're doing this this is we had a Patreon so this is for two different audiences first this is

to my all our patrons I think it's 26 people uh one of them is me though because i wanted to see how it looks like when when things go through right so you know you can do that for free okay so uh too late for that uh no producer page uh but we decided, and so first this is to the patrons. We could come back,

but we're taking a pause because we want to focus on the main episodes and we're going to do one extra episode a month for the main feed and we just needed to build it up some more. I need a full infrastructure. I started going on the road and I was like, I cannot make these extra

episodes. Yeah. Paige can't can't be posting these. It's a lot. It's a lot of work. And it was like when we were doing it, we were like sometimes doing two or three in a row. And you're like, what? Like we get to the patrons. We're like, we just talked about everything. And it felt like we're this is

this is people shouldn't be paying for this. You know, I don't know if I'd go that far. I would not go that far. No, no, no. No, no. I got to hold it back. I think there's plenty to talk about. It's just a matter of like, first of all, you're creating great content.

I think great content. In the beginning where you don't have a lot of patrons. So you're like, I'm going through hours of work. And then Paige is going through hours of work. And then if you look at the views, if you really want to do that, you're like four people. Because not even the patrons all listen every time.

Some of them just want to be supportive. They're just supportive. And I would upload a video that I spent hours figuring out and the download didn't work and I had to call Comcast one time and they had to come and fix everything and then one person watches it.

And you're like, okay. That's probably me. Oh, it is probably me. It's probably you watching it on your own thing. So, and then I saw what like really successful patrons do and there's so much exclusive content. This one that I follow a lot, it's called Are You Garbage? And it's a podcast that's blown up in popularity.

And like, our patron goal is we will add videos after a hundred patrons and we already added videos just to get it out of the way yeah but theirs was once they hit i think 10 000 patrons they were going to take the co-host to disney world for the first time yeah they just hit a new goal where they're going to bet ten thousand dollars on black at uh roulette in in a casino so they're doing well and it it's a lot. Yeah. If this was all I did, sure. But I'm going on the road. Russell has a wife and a dog and a cat.

I work too. And he works too. And I have a full-time job and I do uncle function. No, I'm joking. Russell doesn't do anything. And Paige has a mystery job and we're working where I tore. And then I send Paige a 20 minute crowd work clip video that none of it's funny.

And I say, cut this down into something that will go viral. And it's a lot, it's a big task. I say, I say, can you please caption this video? I talk so fast.

You don't know what I'm saying the entire thing. Yeah. And then we got to create the Tik the TikTok version where you take out the curse words. And then you got to create the... It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. But hey, Crisis Actors video is doing really well on Twitter right now. I don't know if you saw.

No, I didn't see it. Pat Oswald liked it. Amazing. Congrats. And he just actually just released an apology for liking it. Because, you know, it's a risky one. Actually, he just released an apology for liking it. Because, you know, it's a risky one.

So, for those of you listening on the regular feed, that's what you're getting now. We're going to be doing our regular one a week. And then one bonus one. And to our Patreon members, we're going to keep the Patreon up. If you join, you can pay the one-time fee just so you have access to all the back episodes. But otherwise, if you're a patron, you can leave if you join you can pay the one time fee just so you have access to all the back episodes but otherwise if you're a patron you can leave if you want to if you don't want to

you're not going to be billed anymore until we come back once Paige has a Paige hopefully or Paige is going to quit right after this is done it's very scary she's going to do this interview. And then like leave.

Quit. I want you to know. I have a gift coming for you. Okay. Well I thought of it like a good gift. Like an interesting gift. Okay. And then the availability of that gift is not.

It wasn't there yet. So I was waiting. I was waiting. I was waiting. And then I got to this point where I'm like. Oh I should get the lamer gift. Which is probably still a good gift. But you know. It's. there yet. So I was waiting. I was waiting. I was waiting. And then I got to this point where I'm like, oh, I should get the lamer gift, which is probably still a good gift. But, you know, it's, you know, it's it's a step above just throwing money at you.

It's so. So just, you know, I'm not just forgetting about it. OK, so are you going to tell her what it is? Are you going to tell? No, there's nothing worse than my dad. It's coming like an IOU. OK, yeah. Well, it's I'm waiting for it to be released.

My dad, for Christmases sometimes, he would like, if the gift he didn't get in time, he'd give you the piece of paper wrapped up and you'd open it and it'd be like a picture, like just a small picture of what the gift was on a white piece of paper. Yeah. I remember once he gave me a picture

with a picture of Italy on it. And he's like, I'm going to pay for an Italy trip for you. And of course, it never materialized. Oh, no. But I know you brought gifts for me and Russell. Can we get the gifts now on air? I think we should do it at the end. At the end.

That's a great idea. Yeah. Because it's going to say, I quit. Yeah. Fuck you and I quit. Well, so welcome to the first bonus episode per month for the regular feed. Again, if you want to go to the Patreon here, we got a lot of great old episodes, despite what Russell said at the beginning.

No, no. I really should have vetted you before we did this. Dear God. No, I felt like there's maybe only one time where, and it was not even you, because you always do lots of planning. I was feeling self-conscious about one, maybe maybe two episodes where i i didn't do very i was like we i just didn't feel great about it sorry great take it back uh page you want to say something negative so i can go into this this music um i came prepared and john marco did not

with the gift situation. So this is the downside. One, two, three. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With John Marco Cerezi. So you're going to interview us today.

Yes. And this will be a good primer for like new downside people. So just so people know the downside, this is a podcast where negativity is celebrated, kvetching is encouraged, and silver linings are debunked. But it's fun.

Every time I describe the podcast, Russell gives me a look like, I don't think that's a good idea for a podcast. But it could have been worse because i was here before this podcast even like was a thing way back and the first idea of it or one of the first ideas was having like a book club the book club comedy book club every guest tells me their favorite book and i read it in advance of the episode i have not read a book in a year and a half from front to back.

I'm stuck on a book right now. I don't know if I've ever talked about it, but I'm stuck on a book about communism that I got. It's one of these books, I'm not smart enough to read it. I read chapters, I don't know what happens, so I go very slowly. And it's one of those things I can't seem to let go

that I have to finish this book. But real quick, before you go into your interview, I just want to say how we met it's one of those things I can't seem to let go that I have to finish this book. Yeah. But, uh, real quick before you go into your interview, I just want to say how, how we met, uh, because it was very,

uh, uh, you reached out to me on Instagram and you said you were like interested in like maybe doing some social media type work, uh, for free. That's the big, that's the,

and normally if someone's offering something for free, something's, something's weird. Something's up. Yeah. But we met for a coffee at that in la at earth at earth very last day of um when like the restaurants were shutting down for covid again and that was that was it and and it was it was good and i was like sure and uh and then and then we were doing all sorts of work this pre-podcast and then we just kept going and uh uh ramped it up and now it's now it's a full package yeah um and a lot of comedians ask me they say please who's your person and i always say i'll

pass along their email but i know you're busy but i also i never want to be the one where i'm like i'm like no she's my person but I'm like I'll pass along the email but she won't get back yeah I probably won't respond at this point

listen they're all they're all gonna start asking we got this new I don't I never mind talking about this stuff on on the podcast

but there's some new for people making reels on Facebook where they're I told you they're monetizing it so we're just posting old TikToks

we're just posting old TikToks. We're just posting old TikToks on the Facebook reels and this is really obnoxious. I'm going to be gross. I don't give a fuck. How many days ago did we enter this program? Like three or four? I think it was four.

Four days ago and Paige found it by the way. Paige was the one who saw it. This bonus was being offered. Again, didn't make any new content for this. We just posted old TikToks that already existed. We have now made $3,900 in those four or five days.

Wait. And I got a lot more videos, and we have a month to make. They cap it at $35,000. And I'm going to try to get as close. I don't know if we can. How does this work? How does... I'm going to try to get as close. I don't know if we can. How does this work? How does,

how does, I'm confused because I'm like, who is watching that? It's a lot of money. If they're going to give you, John Marcos or AZ, $35,000 in the next month

for old content, I'm confused as, how many people are they doing that for? I, well, that's a lot of money. I talked with someone who has a big following on Facebook and apparently this is more for micro-influencers.

But it is invite only. It is invite only. Some people don't have it. I keep telling them about it. They're like, how? And then I get to be like, I don't know. So did you get an email about this? It was on Facebook.

It said like, do you want to opt into the Reels Rewards program? Yeah, there was a notification that I saw, and then I flagged it to John Marco. Yeah. Wow. I mean, and it's just like, I think Facebook is just like, they have a new program. They have more money than God, and they go, we want to see if this program sticks. Throw a billion dollars at it.

Yeah. I mean, there must be insane money. If I'm being offered the potential, I'm not saying I'm going to make it, but the potential to make $35,000 in a month. Yeah. And we don't know if it's going to go away after this month is done. Yeah. Because that's what happened with Instagram, where there was a much smaller cap, $800. Yeah.

For a month. For a month. And then it went away after two months. Okay. cap $800 for a month and then it went away after two months and also it was like the views to dollar ratio was much more harder to get that $800 but like someone told me and I don't want to bank on it you can't bank on any of this shit

but that they said that this was like a year long program if this goes on for a year now listen I don't have that many jokes at a certain point there's only so many one liners I have that are good for this type of medium. But if there's a potential to make $35,000 every fucking month, I'm going to have to... And then the question is, do you sell out?

Do I scrap every other plan I have artistically and go screenplay? I can't put a screenplay on Facebook Reels. Are you writing a screenplay currently? Listen, I went to go write... You're thinking about writing a screen pick? I downloaded Final Draft again for my new laptop. It had been so long that I've written a sketch, that I went to write a sketch for Uncle Function

on my laptop, which was new seven months ago, and I didn't have Final Draft. I was like, oh yeah. That's how long it's been since I've written anything other than a joke. So it was an amazing thing, Paige. You are essential. You've been the blessing at least two or three times on the podcast.

I appreciate that. Of course. Well, I hope that made up for the lack of pay. So let's interview away. We were calling this Inside the Unemployed Actor's Studio. Do you still feel you're an actor or a comedian? view away the yeah we were calling this inside the unemployed actor studio yeah because do you do you still feel you're you're an actor or a comedian if you were to use a title oh um i i actually both of those terms feel limiting to me or feel strong like i don't feel

what you're gonna be like i'm a human being no no i just feel like i'm an artist i i probably actor more so than comedian but i i think but you i'm an artist i i probably actor more so than comedian but i i think but you're very comedic i i mean it's all acting i'm doing right now so so yeah but i i comedian feels like it puts in a thing of like stand-up does that make sense sure i i get that i don't know so i don't know i don't feel strongly but you know a blurred line so you're a husband i'm a comedian yeah and uh take it away page you take it take it from here okay well let's start at the beginning um so i've been working with john marco for a little over a year now um and have been helping out like you

mentioned with social media stuff and obviously producing this podcast um so it's been a wild journey since then but previously just so people know i worked with other comedians um including comedians yeah um and it was their social media manager content producer for two years and then once i stopped working in that social media agency then i was like i still want to do this on the side and then i came across your tiktok which then i reached out to you and then it's been history since then do you still keep in contact with rosanne bar jesus i'm gonna be funny if she was lucky guess she was the one that tweeted out that faithful tweet she's like rosanna

well you would talk about we don't have to name names, but like with comedians, it's a tough thing because sometimes they make decisions that you're like, I don't know. Yeah. I can't say I've been 100% like behind each comedian that I've worked with, but those are the ones that I don't talk to anymore.

Oh, okay. But you worked with Ted Alexandra. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I remember that. Ted loves you. So yes, with Ted Alexandra. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I remember that. Ted. Ted loves you. So yes, that's what you did.

Right. So then I come to find out that I actually saw you in a video when I was doing research for a potential client. I didn't find this out until after we started working together but it was um for eliza and oh eliza schlesinger yeah and then oh yeah but i didn't realize that it was you and that that um yeah so this was a vanity fair thing this was like really early on in the pandemic i mean just like the the worst part of it yeah and vanity fair did a thing where they would give us 20 seconds with eliza schlesinger to try to make her laugh and like i tried to cram my dad kiss joke which i've been telling for the last 35 years yeah and uh uh i it made her laugh it did well yeah but it was uh but you had to go

first and i feel like that was unfair because you didn't know the time was starting oh yeah so they they brought you you're in a zoom waiting room and this is still where zoom is like everyone's figuring out all this and they they wanted to make a secret this is so funny they so they had her camera covered and then she was gonna open it and you'd be like it's eliza schlesinger move on but when they brought you in the room her box there's no camera but underneath it said eliza schlesinger so i was like oh okay and i i will say eliza was it said eliza schlesinger so i was like okay and i i will say eliza was it was it was great but i was i was like i wanted it to be john mulaney so fucking bad um and i did that joke really fast and uh she laughed and uh nailed it

thankfully yeah thankfully because she did not like everybody yeah and also it's like i shouldn't have done it. I've been doing comedy. It was more for newer people. But in my experience, if you want to win, you sometimes got to, like with Tic Tac, go to the preschool and be famous there first and then move on. It was like an open mic on Zoom, which is kind of honestly not a great concept. Horrible. Yeah.

Okay, but let's start at the beginning. So, John Marco, you grew up in Maryland. How do you say the name? Potomac. Potomac. I looked it up. It's quoted as the Beverly Hills of Montgomery County. Is that true?

Yes. I know it's the 29th richest zip code in america wow wow um there's a lot of like politicians there a lot of government people uh like patrick ewing who was a big basketball star on the new york knicks he he was there we know who ewing is okay i don't page has no idea and he drove he drove the same car as my dad. I remember that. But he had tinted windows. Oh, okay. And so very boring. I mean, you know me.

I milk every bit of my existence for material. And I have not once ever thought of a joke about Potomac. I found it just like very dull. It was like there was Jews there there but it wasn't like jewish there was a lot of people with a lot of money but that kind of meant that you didn't you didn't have neighbors you associated with because your your house and your backyard was so fucking big you'd have to travel you'd have to take a train to visit your neighbor um so very boring very you don't have any like childhood like neighborhood friends

no i didn't have many many regular friends neighborhood no not really i was just a loner of a kid but you didn't like play on the street or anything like no because it was you're you're around to some rich people who don't have kids or i just don't think looking back my parents were not very social like my dad really did not have he had like one friend and it was his old college buddy and he'd see him once every three years yeah right and that's like part of like becoming an adult was like being like oh i can't be like that because it's that's so isolating horribly isolating but that's why he's so lonely and then he dates these women that are younger and I'm like,

you need a guy. You need a man your age who you can talk about not being able to get an erection anymore. Like, you can't bring this up with her. You need dudes.

If you're a dude, you just need that. Or I need therapy. Or therapy. But he's had a therapist. That's why I was always so skeptical about therapy because my parents

were always in therapy and I was like, this shit doesn't work yeah and my grandpa who passed away he always told me he said well you don't know what your dad would have been like without the therapy and i was like okay that's true that's true okay fair did you say burn no i thought you said like burn burn burned burned your dad's great my son sucks um So yeah, my father had a big backyard. We had seven acres wasted on me. Did you play around? Did you imagine on that backyard? I did, but not with friends.

Again, we had a little bamboo field, and my dad, he would do this. You had a bamboo field? There was bamboo. I don't know why there's bamboo, but I would make these bamboo poles, and I'd pretend like I was a warrior. And that's what I would do with the trees.

I would hit the trees with the bamboo. And I had throwing knives. And I was into that kind of stuff. But it was always very solo. Sometimes my friends and I would come over. I camped, but in the backyard. And my dad would bring a TV out to the tent and like long extension cords. So took all the camp out of the camp experience.

Yeah. But we had deer, some fox. My dad built a tree house I used twice. And then paintball guns. I did that a lot as a kid. Wow. So wasted. So Russell, you grew up in Bainbridge.

Yes. Which is upstate New York. Yes. And I looked up things to do in Bainbridge, which is upstate New York. Yes. And I looked up things to do in Bainbridge. All that came up was leave. And I came across Frog Pond Farms. Yes. I went to the Frog Pond all the time.

There's like a bunch of cute. I can't believe you're saying Frog Pond to me right now. I did my research. I've just gotten more shout outs on this podcast then um sorry go ahead oh well i was just gonna say they look like they have a bunch of cute farm animals there they do and that's what we'd go for my mom would go and buy like uh my mom does a lot of gardening uh and so she would go and buy like plants and things but then we would go because there's a lot of farm animals and you'd pet them and talk to them and whatnot.

What's the most exotic animal? No, it's truly like cows. It's like very regular farm animals. There's like a llama. Chickens. Oh, they may have a llama now. Okay. They did not have a llama.

Oh, you probably know more about Frog Pond than I do now. I was there yesterday. It has been over 20 years since I've been to the Frog Pond. Oh, my God. Wow. You should go back. my god but um go back yeah i should go back i mean it still exists and that's more you can say than a lot of the the businesses there so um it seems to be doing okay um but yeah i went to the frog pond all the

time is that what was that number one that was number one do you want to know what number two was was the dunkin donuts no oh god what was it? It was Chi Chi the Clown. Are you familiar with Chi Chi the Clown? I am not. What was the description of Chi Chi the Clown? It says, I'm a children's entertainment clown with five different characters and Mr. D that can come and entertain at your next family-friendly event. Oh, my God.

History. This is a paid ad. They paid the website for Chi Chi the Clown they paid the website no no no this was not this was not a yelp ad this was like on the you know search results yeah too amazing and it says established in 2002 i've been planning around most of my life got serious with it in 2002 wow that's was how many was there just two things on that list i don't know i i lost interest after chichi wow no i don't know that's amazing that a a not a given clown company one individual yeah no no the best thing to do while you're there i mean there is not there's like there's

like two or three restaurants and they look like bar and grill type places yeah there was there was the highway seven which was around for a long time and that my mom and dad like they would go there like three times a week i think i think that was number three um and that's gone or it's a new they got new management my parents were like we're out you know they're like they're not like the new management so um but uh yeah there's a couple bars and uh bowling alley and then a dunkin donuts the dunkin donuts when that came that was a big deal in bainbridge new york because we didn't have any chains and it was like suddenly there was a dunkin donuts and it was like you know do you think you're like one of the most famous people to ever live in bainbridge no no no there's

probably like someone is your picture up at all the things like no because i didn't even go no no because also i didn't even go to school there so i only lived there sure i went to school 20 minutes away so uh i don't have like a much of a connection to bainbridge other than that's where my parents live and i you know grew up there but uh no if you if you got 10 million dollars would you move your parents out take them them somewhere? No, they like it there. Uh, they like it there and they like their house and they're, they're close to my brother and sister-in-law and stuff. So I think,

no, I mean, you know, obviously I've had, I think more than 10 million cause I feel like 10 million is not that much. So I feel, I feel like, yeah,

if I, I just checked the Facebook number. It actually just hit. If I had lots of money, yeah, if I... I just checked the Facebook number. It actually just hit. If I had lots of money, yeah, I'd like to do something nice for them. But I don't know if that's what they would, you know, they would want. Yeah. I think they like that area. Cool.

Okay, wait. So, John Marco, I need to ask you about your skater boy phase. You've posted a photo before where you're like in skater boy clothes. And I need to know more about it. Like, were you an actually like a skateboarder or is it just like the clothes or. Oh, definitely just the clothes. I've always had terrible balance. Like I can't even ride a bike.

Like I learned one summer, but I would be terrified. Were you at least like a finger skateboarder though? I was a finger skateboarder so well you don't understand you're younger than us there was there was a like skater there was a skater Avril Lavigne he was a skater boy she said see you later boy right that's how it goes

yeah but somehow you made it like more grammatically correct and then she said this so I think what happened if I recall correctly is there was the Avril Lavigne phase. And there was a mix of, like, Sk8er Boi and goth. I kind of went through the same time. But it was very much driven by, like, what I thought, what women I was attracted to.

And so, like, I was really into, like, Sk8er, like, punky. Especially I went to a private middle school that used to be a Christian school, but it wasn't. So anyone who wore a tie over a t-shirt, I was like, she's the coolest girl in the world. Wait, was it like a uniform kind of school? Not uniform, but certain people would have liked it to be. Okay.

But yeah, it was a little bit looser than that. Like we had chapel in the morning and there was a cross there, but they wouldn't bring up Jesus. But the cross was there. Wait. It was like a good school. But I remember for the assembly, there was a teacher named Jay Breyer.

And he was a young teacher. Looking back, he was like a young teacher. And he did an assembly where he talked about being a wrestling fan. And he talked about how no one he knew liked wrestling, but then he went to a wrestling match and everyone there liked wrestling and how cool it was to be with a community. And it was very clear in retrospect

that it was also about him being gay. And like some of the parents, so it was the kind of school where like you could do that, but some of the parents were upset about it. Right, but they weren't gonna get you fired for saying that. Yeah, he wasn't fired for it, for sure. But he, I remember early on, I was like dancing or singing or something before math class. This is seventh grade.

I'll never forget. He said, Jamarco, don't take this the wrong way, but that's the gayest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. So it was like early, early. Wow. And that was a whole other phase where I would like, where like, I was like very much into like kind of jokingly to guys be like, I'll see you later, Chris. And really like an offensive gay stereotype. But I don't know what it was. Looking back, I don't know what it was I was trying to achieve, whether I was just trying to own it.

It was funny. People laughed. It made people uncomfortable. It's just that kind of thing. Skater boy. it was funny people laughed it made people uncomfortable it's just that kind of thing skater boy i went to a summer camp and uh there was some girl i had a crush on like summer camps are very much the like romantic times for me seventh grade eighth grade and there was some girl i liked who looking back was like way out of my league uh uh and then i was on like there

was a boat night we went on like a cruise but you know it's just for the night right at the camp and there were these this group of goth goth people and there was a girl named mallory and some guy was like you and mallory and i'd never met mallory and he was like you and mallory should make out and she was like okay and i was like what wow what what are you and so from there on i was like i'm goth now What? Wow. What are you? And so from there on, I was like, I'm goth now. And I got jellies and chopped at Hot Topic. And it was just because this girl, Mallory. And you were goth without any of the culture of being goth.

Yeah, they were. The music. I wasn't even depressed yet in the same way that I am now. They were doing the big thing of the goth kids, at least then, was salt and ice. Where if you put ice, then salt, then ice, then salt, you create a scar on your skin. And they were doing the big thing of the goth kids, at least then was salt and ice. Where if you put ice and salt and ice and salt, you create a scar in your skin. Yes. And they were super into that. And I was still like, I was like, I would never scar my body like that.

Yeah. Were they like cutting or like that was. I mean, people would consider that in the realm of cutting, but it didn't seem quite like that. They liked how it looked. They were make little designs. You couldn't get too fancy with it yeah but it was it was basically because of that girl mallory this was actually the summer after eighth grade i went into high school new high school first day going by g i went by g i wore first day i wish i could find the picture i had a goatee

orange highlights uh huge jeans with chains with chains and paint on them and i started the new high school just like right out the gate weird as fucking kid and man to see that in the grade oh man this is the teacher seeing you come in being like this guy this guy he's making he it is that's a that's a really interesting thing i would imagine if you were a teacher to see like kids be like deciding like just being like i'm playing this role right now like i'm gonna i'm trying out i'm trying to figure out who i'm gonna be so it's like trying out different roles like yeah like and you're like sometimes it's so unnatural like there's some kids where you're like oh they are like okay i can see

whether goth they and there's other kids where you're like oh you're like you're just trying it on well i wonder try it on i wonder if we like sometimes in life i was uh i was just in north carolina at this gig and just for shits and giggles there was some eastern asian acapella conference and i was like let's just go watch this and i went it was on the college campus and you're seeing these college kids and and as I'm 33 now, you're like, these are children. These are children. They are children, yeah. But I do wonder, as you get older, when you're younger, you have so many new high school,

new college, where you get to reinvent yourself. Yes. And then you get older, and especially if you get married, you have this one person who knows you. You can't come home one day and be like hey honey i think i'm gonna be this now and they'll be like oh that's that's so once you hit a certain age you don't get to reinvent yourself again and it's kind of sad well you and people can but sometimes people get a lot of shit for it or like you get a lot of eye rolls

you know i mean like because even think about like like some of the people that are like all of a sudden really into fitness or something. Sure. And you're like, okay, like this is your whole personality now. It's that kind of thing, though, as adults. We're like, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. And we kind of roll our eyes at like sometimes when people do do that. But so it's hard. It's hard to do.

Yeah. At every stage. But you get more opportunities when you're younger. Right. And Russell, did you have any like childhood flop eras um i i you know what i'm gonna be honest i feel like very close to how i dress now is like there was a thing for a long time where you're like you're always this stylish i've i've had uh like the same shirts the same things for so long um i think I've told, I told, I was talking

to someone about this recently. I, in my perfect world, I think I'm about five years from this in my perfect world. I have a uniform that I wear every day because I don't like, I don't like clothes. I don't like, I don't want to be naked, but I don't like the experience of picking things out to wear. I don't, there's nothing like, I don't feel like I get anything. I think I would wear,

one time I was doing a play and my costume was black sweatpants, like slip on shoes and like kind of like a, like a, not a muumuu, but like a longer like, you know, like Shakespearean like a not a muumuu but like a longer like you know like shakespearean like not a dress but not a muumuu but i was like this is what you basically like it's for a man

it's for a man it would be like if you were watching someone like like on a movie or tv show and they were going to like a yoga guru it would be like kind of like that but it was all black and i was like it was so comfortable it felt like pajamas it felt like a nightgown and sweatpants and really comfortable shoes and i was like this could be what i would want to wear every day and do you ever feel because i feel this struggle with clothes where it's one of these things like many aspects of my life where I was like, I'm not going to learn this. I refuse. And obviously for like my job, it's kind of like,

well, you, you're going to go on camera and you should like know what you're going to put on and like maybe learn some of these things, especially having a girlfriend who has like some thoughts. Uh, do you ever feel, I feel an insecurity when I see Douglas, who wrote all the music.

He's an amazing dresser. Chris is a very good dresser. And sometimes I feel like a very immature, like kind of a child, a man child. I can't go into a store and pick what goes together. These days I match my shirt to my shoes and that feels like that's like to me, I'm like, that's all I know how to do at this point. But do you ever feel insecure? No, I think I think I can often I can recognize when they look like stylish. But I it doesn't really at all register as like I've I've done it now where I have four black T-shirts that I wear

a lot. And I think that that might be my next thing is I just wear black t-shirts and jeans for the majority of time. Because I'm like, that's something I like, I feel comfortable in and I don't think about it a lot. But I don't feel, no, I just don't connect to it. Did you like this before Louis C.K. or like after? No, no, no. I feel like I just always never really think and

anytime I'm like stressing about it or like oh maybe this will be nice I'm like this doesn't look nice at all like I I I don't know so I don't feel like I I think too much about it or or I think once in a while though if I'm like there'll be a fun shirt that I'm like oh I like that that's fun but it's like it's like so bright and fun that you're like I don't I don't have the personality to carry it off sure every day I think you do but you're selling yourself short

so I don't know I also I'll be honest there there I feel like for bigger guys sometimes there's just like not as many options and I don't like going to like sometimes I order stuff online but sometimes it's just like not as many options and i don't like going to like sometimes i order stuff online um uh but sometimes it's just like even the stuff in the stores like you're like oh like i don't know it's just kind of i don't know yeah does nicole ever like go like russell take off that

black shirt no no no she'll get me like a fun shirt once in a while though you know i want to see these fun shirts because you keep saying them and i'm like it's like a mild orange we need a word there's one stripe on it well now especially since we film stuff i think all the time i'm like fuck it's this same shirt again i know i gotta mix it up you just gotta get some good staples yeah and that's it that's this is my when i wear that when i wear the tank tops i do get a couple like who chest hair and i'm like all right i'll do tank tops every time yeah i got a new tank top it's in the wash but yes it is the end of january and you're wearing a tank top i listen whatever gets the clicks clickbait um okay so how'd you guys get into acting i mean it seems like you

guys started at a pretty young age is that right yeah I was always I was always kind of when I was a little kid uh whether I was at my mom's or my dad's and this is like when my mom was still like she was like more when I was younger I don't want to be cruel but she was like a young mom and she I think she just got a little bit less playful when I got older she had more kids but when I was like young we used to put on at both houses we'd put on like disco and like like i remember it's raining men very prominently and uh we would dance in the living room just like just like dancing around and i had the impulse at that age at four or five where i said to my dad and said to my mom, we have to get this, our living room on a stage

so people can see this. So there was like some, there's something, there's some deep, deep desire to be witnessed that I've had forever. And I think that leads, that led me through every phase of of being an artist right so like stage fright was never a concern for you i still get anxious for sure but i that was just the desire i'm sure i would have gotten stressed but like i really think like especially with that

it's like without even earning it without even having anything to show people, I thought this is special. There was something about like, I felt such joy doing this with my parents that I thought, oh, it would be incredible to witness this. And I wish I had started my career then. I'd be a lot further now. Yeah, yeah.

Child actor. I have such envy for child actors, even though you see how so many of them go to shit, you see so many of them go to shit, but like, I would have loved it. I would have loved it. What are the roles you're talking about?

Like a, you would have loved being like a Disney or Nickelodeon app, like child. So Lutely, absolutely. Whoever that Nickelodeon pedophile guy is, you know, you've heard those conspiracy theories.

I, he could have jerked oh my god John Marco whatever John Marco no no no it's about me

I'm allowed to say I'm allowed to say of my own body whatever I want and I would have let him jerk I would have jerked him off with my

my feet you were jerking him off now whatever he wants okay I similar I you would let him jerk no no my feet. You were jerking him off now? Whatever he wants. Okay. Similar. You would let him shit.

No. Same thing. Earliest memories were that kind of thing, making my brother be in stuff and putting on little things. Like at dinner? I'd write little plays. When we had a camera court, I'd make little movies. Do you had a camera court, I would make little movies. Do you have any?

I don't. Because they were also like the kind that you have to put into a converter. I remember those converters. And I think we just threw it all out one time. Oh, my God. But it was like, it was, I remember in like second grade, we had to go to an assembly and there was, and they were like, can I do like the

nutcracker or something at the assembly and everyone was like all over the moon because this girl danielle in our class was gonna be in it and i was so jealous because i was like in i remember feeling like in my core i was like i know i got this stuff better than danielle like i was like i know she's not a performer she's so boring i was like i was like i remember feeling like steaming like being like like like and i don't know there was just something always from being a little kid that i was like uh like have to do it and well like i one thing i i wrote this like on every college essay it was like my story for a while where it was a princess in the P.

I think it was kindergarten. And at the end, I was the prince. And I had to say at the end, like, I love you or something to the princess. And then I did it. And then I turned to the audience and all the guys were going at the time. And I did that to the audience. I went, and the laugh, at least I remember it being quite big. I just remember getting like such a big laugh.

So you ruined the end of the play. Ruined the end, yeah. For a laugh. For a laugh. That was more important than the story was less important and it was more important than you get the laugh. I think what's so gross,

especially if you look at the college essay, it was like, and I learned since then that even if you get a big laugh, you got to do it, you got to not do that to like be part of the team. Like the college I turned it into the lesson. And now, and the real thing, if I had been honest in any of those fucking things, I mean,

anyone reading those college essays is like, how can you trust a single word these kids say? It's so, obviously they're writing it to get in. But I should have said, and that's what I learned. Sometimes you're better than the thing you're a part of. And you got to take all the glory for yourself. Yeah, they would have liked that too. Well, I didn't get in either way. So who gives a fuck?

Oh, man. Okay, wait. So that was your first acting gig in kindergarten? Yeah. I think before that I played the donkey in Stone Soup. There was something called Stone Soup. And then Sleepy and Snow White in The Seven Dwarfs. Wow.

And I remember that because that was with my kindergarten teacher, Miss Vance, who my dad dated briefly until my mom got her fired from the school. Crazy. And I liked her a lot. I also did some research and I saw that you were Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors. Seymour. That was in high school, junior year of high school. Horrors. Seymour, that was in high school, junior year of high school.

High school was the time where I was like the, of my grade, like the theater, the lead theater guy. Yeah. And if I had known that that would have been the peak of my career, I would have really enjoyed it a lot more. But Seymour was like, that was a blast. It was before I was taking real voice lessons. So I was just young enough that I could just scream and pelt and my voice would be okay the next day. And I loved it so much. I love that role.

It was just so good. So fun. And it makes me so mad when Jake Gyllenhaal does it on Broadway recently and you're like, you are a good looking man. You piece of shit. I agree. I do not like that. Him doing that. Hugh Jack are a good looking man. You piece of shit. I agree. I do not like that. Him doing that.

Hugh Jackman doing the music man. It's like, the music man is about, he's such a, you wooze this librarian. Like he's so charming. He's a snake oil salesman. Oh, why did the librarian fall in love with Hugh Jackman? Because he's the hottest guy around? Because he's fucking huge?

Fucking bullshit. There's nothing. I don't like it either super hot people like playing less like nerdy people fuck them in like the prince and into the woods like yeah the they have plenty of roles they can do yeah yeah you know yeah i agree and then you did some shakespeare stuff i did shakespeare after after college i did i went to a like an mfa program so it was all classical theater and then so i did a bunch of shakespeare for like the the like till recently um but like i worked for the american shakespeare center for a while i did a bunch of bunch of shakespeare um which was i i liked doing it. I liked, I liked doing that. I would get frustrated

sometimes in rehearsals. I think I've realized when I went to music school, I didn't like the people in music school. I was like, Oh, like, I just felt like no one, it was not my vibe. I was closer to my vibe when I was in grad school for acting. I was like, okay, I'm around people acting. People like doing acting. And then acting people like doing acting and then i realized like once i started doing uncle function stuff i realized i really like the being around comedians or on a tight schedule of like we have to do this fast because then i would be like rehearsing a shakespeare show for like four weeks and it would be so slow like the the process was so slow that i was like and there was so much talking about doing stuff

rather than just doing it. And that I felt like was, I don't, so I like a mix of things. But I like doing Shakespeare. Especially, but I think Shakespeare would be tough. I don't know how you operate around it now, but I look back at when I was an actor in musical theater and there's so much sincerity

and there's so much like, oh, this beautiful, I remember some Shakespeare open workshop thing that was free you could do every week in the city when I first moved to New York. And these actors

would talk about Shakespeare with such reverence they could cry about it and be like, oh, this passage from The Winter's Tale. And like, I was still able

to participate a degree, but I always had a little bit of that edge of just like, okay, well, this is just old. And now that I always had a little bit of that edge of just like, okay, well, this is just exactly. And now that I'm like a full blown comedian,

if I was ever back in those spaces, I would make so many jokes and be so unable to like, take it seriously that they would hate me. Or I just wouldn't be able to fit in. I wouldn't be able to talk sincerely about, about the beauty of shakespeare for longer than 10 seconds at a time i i one time i was in the one of the last shakespeare things i did which was a few years ago at this point uh i was in the we were doing like one of those text days

where we're like standing around talking about stuff for a long time and um the guy who's playing the guy who's playing king lear was that worst version of an actor where you're like like he just loved to hear like to talk about it you know and then he wasn't he was fine on stage but not like the way he would talk about it you're like it doesn't match up how much you talk about it compared to what i'm seeing and he at one point in all sincerity we weren't supposed to laugh was like i can only hear an iambic pentameter and i was like fuck off what are you even talking about like like it was it was just it made me so mad he was just like one of those people that like it was just gross where you're like you're not even i don't like it when people really really successful talk that way but just be like what are you doing you know yeah

great you're better than everyone great you know when you read did you read that piece about jeremy strong yes i did and does that make you go crazy or can you go like okay he's just an intense actor i could like handle i think it would be hard i think it would it seemingly like depend on working with someone i'm able to enjoy the work for sure because i don't have to deal with any of that so i feel like i can see how you would be like okay that's his thing and i believe in some of that stuff and i've i haven't had to do an intense acting thing in a long time in a very long time it scares me for like it scares like if i ever if the opportunity ever comes along like i don't know if i haven't in me anymore but like if i had to do something intense i would have to like I'd have to I don't know.

I'd have to start meditating again or I just have to approach my day differently because I just live in a kind of more fast paced, jokey, distracted all over the place. And if I had to do something intense emotionally for HBO, I'd have to like sit down, listen to different kind of music. I'd have to like sit down listen to different kind of music I'd have to reprogram myself see I feel like it would be harder to do it like for like a theatrical thing that you have to repeat so often that feels like well that's what I do I don't want to act anymore

like the thing of like I felt like I think I said this to you before John Markle but like when I did Yago and I was having to do you know and I did it for like a month you know and it was like not a crazy it was a very short run but it was like that was the thing of like going like you did feel icky and like you felt like at the end of every night you'd be like i can't imagine having to do this it's draining a of all but b of all it's like such a grody place to like go and

like you know keep and so like to have like a like a long run of doing something like that is like like it's not appealing at all not appealing people must enjoy it because i always remember when i saw i saw philip seymour hoffman death of a salesman and uh which was i think the last kind of thing he did before he died and he walks on stage and his opening line is like i have such thoughts or i have such dark thoughts or bad thoughts yeah that's the first line i like the play him coming home and i think plenty of people in the past just walked in it's like i have such dark thoughts he comes in beginning of the play big applause applause, applause, superstar. And then he goes, I have five dark thoughts. And he starts sobbing.

And I just thought, man, oh man, every two times a day sometimes, you just have to show up, say hi to everyone, say hi to Andrew Garfield, and then just walk on with that. And there was part of me that I tried so so hard to like be that actor for a while i really wanted to be that i wanted to cry and and then i look back at it now i'm like that's just not what i am man no and i don't want to know well there's a there's a there's a there's a well there's like it's hard to not feel like there's a masturbatory thing to it because you're like there is this thing where you're like also you're like no offense against arthur miller like it's

but you're also like why are we doing that like that thing over and over again and being like 70 years later we're still like at that point where we're like oh yeah we the american dream we are depressed like you're like we i i agree there's things that are universal but here's also like some of these stories you're like there i i feel like why put people in this who is the famous actor from this like law like uh she she basically said she had to play ophelia and she would only do it four times a week and said i i can only bear my soul this many times a week or whatever there's just something where, especially with theater, there's,

actors have somehow, every time actors get abused, somehow we like contextualize it and like this is what it means to be an actor. So there very much is this mentality of like acting is about doing it eight times a week.

And it's like, no, that's the economic model in this capitalist system. Yeah. And maybe that is insane to do something this heavy on two show days on a Saturday. Yeah.

So this, this maybe, maybe the circumstances that came about solely because of money aren't artistically ideal yeah and so there there is the only people that can like say that they aren't going to do that or like when oprah was going to do broadway and then she's like no you know what i'm not going to do night mother eight times a week yes because that was like she was supposed to do that show where night mother is there it's uh someone's the daughter was supposed to do that show where it's just like. Night mother is, it's someone's, the daughter's going to kill herself and the mom's like trying to talk her out of it. Trying to convince her not to.

And at the end, she does it. She kills herself. She kills herself. So Oprah, Oprah, it was like this big thing. And the audience wants to,

frankly too. It's a depressing play. It was a big thing. Oprah was going to do it. And then, then she was like, no, actually I'm not going to do that.

And they just didn't do it. Cause it was like either Oprah or nothing. And you're like, you're like, why? not going to do that. And they just didn't do it because it was like either Oprah or nothing. And you're like, you're like, why? I don't want to put myself in that thing like in that. Like and you're like, yeah, that makes sense to not want to put yourself in that. Yeah. Eight times a week. Sometimes it's amazing.

Some of these actors that come back to Broadway, not because they wouldn't enjoy live theater, but the schedule is just when Daniel Craig comes back and does Shakespeare, you're like, oh, you know, it's really like this. Why don't you do a four show day? If I was theig a four show day you'd never see me do a matinee in my entire life fuck matinee doing my play we had to do matinees and it was a lot of comedy and man those matinees i felt so awful yeah doing that play really solidified i was like i don't want to do theater for that reason of doing the same thing every time i was going nuts yeah would you advise against going to a matinee show just solely for that reason like that the actors are probably not as into it i mean i know that i never

have as much like there is like a psychological thing about matinees where i'm like like yeah like a little bit on some level it's always always weird because Broadway shows, I think in general, they close. Their last shows usually are a matinee. That's like the end of the cycle. So I've seen the final performance of a lot of shows at a matinee. Oh, okay. So, yeah, I mean, I still think like these things become such machines. It can be strong, but for sure.

I wouldn't want to go to matinee just because psychologically I'm not there at 3 p.m. But you could get a good deal on it. Well, that's the only reason. That's true. That's the only reason you should do it. Yeah. Y'all afraid of ghosts? How about ghost peppers?

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like where'd you get your sense of humor from? Like what was your first like impression of comedy or like what was like the first thing that you saw or like heard that you were like, that's funny. And like, that's stuck with you. Yeah.

I mean, the earliest influences I think of like wayside school where these like comedy books about a school, did you ever heard about wayside school? Uh, but like in terms of like comedians, like Seinfeld, my dad and I want Seinfeld like super early.

And I just feel like that is in my DNA I think there's like you know we've talked on this podcast I talk with other Jews who like were raised Jewish and there's like a thing of of that I'm that I have traits that are traditionally Jewish or you know on stage I could be like I'm Jewish and I've if I've done enough time people laugh at that because they're like, yeah, we know. And there's a lot of times I think like, I don't know if that's from my mom. I honestly think part of it is like growing up with Seinfeld, which was like a super Jewish show, and that being like my core entertainment. So I was always just a Seinfeld guy.

I mean, you know, I grew up like every kid my age on Nickelodeon shows and Doug and that's all comedy. I mean, the Rugrats, that's all comedy. So I kind of had that. But I think Seinfeld in terms of like what made it unique

was kind of how early I was watching Seinfeld. And then South Park. In South Park, my dad let me watch that very early. I was never a Simpsons guy. Never have been. Never seem to have been able to get into it. Yeah. But Seinfeld and South Park, my dad let me watch that very early. I was never a Simpsons guy, never have been, never seem to have been able to get into it.

Yeah. But Seinfeld and South Park, for sure. How old were you when you were watching South Park? I was watching it from the beginning. I don't know when South Park started. It was been, yeah, 20-some odd. Yeah, yeah. I remember my stepmom at the time, my sister's mom,

there was like this tape. The ordinance at South Park was really interesting, but there was some tape of Jesus fighting Santa and the devil was the referee. It was like a VHS that went viral in the sense that people made copies of it. I remember my stepmom showing, and it's funny

because she's very religious now, or was, but at the time she thought it was really funny. I just had the kind of dad who was like totally fine with that stuff. Wow. Did you have, so no, like shows were off limits when you were a kid? No,

my dad let me watch like species, which was a very fucked up movie. Um, so he let me watch anything I want. He didn't care about nudity. He didn't care about cursing. If anything, violence would have been more of his thing his thing but but he didn't seem to mind at all one time uh we had i had a sleepover and we were young and i mean i feel like first grade or second

grade and my dad thought we had bought little frankenstein that's the mel brooks movie right young frank young frankenstein but this was little frankenstein and it's some like black and white movie where i think it's actually scary but there were tits in it and my dad had to apologize to all the parents because we just went downstairs and we're watching this very not funny movie that my dad was like this is the funniest movie in the world and i never was mel brooks guy either i've never been mel no me either really and i'd like to like him but i i don, I just, it didn't connect to me. That wasn't my,

uh, I was big. I was, I, I, comedy central, like early comedy central was very like my jam. Like I would be like,

I was watching, I think the first real thing that I really, obviously it was Chris Farley. I was like obsessed with Chris Farley as a kid, like from a very young age, like when he was, I was probably six or seven and like really like that old reruns of kids in the hall were really big.

And then when I was in middle school, I got really into like, uh, strangers with candy was, was, was a big, like felt like no one at school was watching it. And I was like my,

like, I was like, and I was like very obsessed with stranger candy and then also like i think any other thing when i was really young is i would watch um i would watch reruns of uh the golden girls with my grandma oh and i was very into the golden girls so i feel like there's that's i think that's like a unique like part of your unique like everyone who i think is comedically interesting like they have like some unique thing to them and i feel like that's a strange yeah not everyone has that at that age yeah i would watch reruns at her house and i i felt like um i i feel like it's one of those

things where like it's sometimes you look back at the stuff you watch and you're like uh and i'm like oh like it was it was good and informed like it's good. The joke writing holds up. Were you sad about Betty White? Did you feel like a pain? I mean sad in the way, you know, but you're like, she's 99. You know, like so, you know, all the rest are dead. So it was just, you know, not like a David Bowie guy, you know, in that way. It would be funny if they did like a Golden Girls reunion show. It's just a bunch of urns on a table.

Oh, no. Just like a sad piano music version. We're just like, we're in this phase where these companies have so much money that they just had a Harry Potter reunion. And it's just like we have reached peak like recycling. Like, let's not even make a new movie about the IP. Let's just get them in a room and be like, what was it like?

Let's just talk about it. Yeah. Okay. Well, I also wanted to know, how did you guys meet? So we've talked about that Bachelorette show here and there, but it was, well, Russell, you were in the show first.

Yeah, John Marco was a replacement. I was a replacement. So there was a show, I auditioned for an actor's access, which is like the thing that anyone can access. And there was a producer who had a show called Awesome 80s Prom, which had, I always use the term viral, but like in the way a show succeeds. It was on for 10 years. It was on for 10 years. And not only that,

it was like this easily replicatable show that a bunch of people were doing in regional theaters and so he was getting money from it. And it just had like every 80s stereotype character, which was one of those things where it was like it was a racist time.

So there was a character who was the Asian guy from one of the 80s movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, you know, it was racist then. Yes. And now in person,

it's just bad. For sure. For sure. But it was fun. I mean, I thought it was a funny thing. If you've never been to theater before, it's a fun thing. thing yeah and so he's trying to create a different version of it of that of that using the same template like it's at an a dance it's at like a webster hall type venue it's uh interactive but yeah like interactive and it was a uh a parody of uh the bachelorette

and so so it's like one woman and a bunch of people vachelorette. And so it was like one woman and a bunch of people vying for her attention and there's kind of scenes like you know amidst your drinks and talking there's kind of a scene and then it breaks into just interacting and people walking around and shooting the shit. So you were first.

So yeah. They picked the cast after a few auditions of rounds of auditions and and uh it was basically like we were gonna spend like i think four months i think it was like january no we started before the new year i think it was like it was a weird amount of time and then it was gonna open at the end of march and so it was like what year was this 2015 yeah one day a week you'd meet one day a week you'd meet you'd do like a three hour like improv like workshop thing we'd kind of create our own characters and stuff so we started meeting uh we had one or two of

those with a guy who was going to be playing dem Denmark ended up playing. And this guy, he came and he was, I think he was a stand-up too. I don't, I have no idea who he is now. But he was funny. And then he quit. I think he, I feel like it was like one of the, the vibe of him was like, I don't need this. And like, so he quit.

It was like, there's a very interesting subsect of theater. Like, I only dabbled in the like, really, there's a bottom level of theater. There's like solo where there was a show I did at the Davenport Theater before this. Where, you know, there's bringer shows for comedy where you bring audience members. And that's how you get stage time. They were like bringer shows for comedy where you bring audience members and and that's how you get stage time they were like bringer plays almost where it was like kind of sketches but it was meant to be like a theater piece but you were like kind of heavily encouraged to bring audience members people and it was like 25 and you get a thimble of whiskey along with it like really dirty yeah dirty dirty low theater and And when you start in New York,

you're, man, the beginning is the worst. And this was like a slight level above that where we had these contracts. I remember I had a manager at the time, a different manager than I have now, and I showed them the contract. And like part of the interesting thing about the contract was like you'd get 1% of the proceeds so in your mind you're like one percent is nothing

but if it's like awesome 80s prom it's going to be all over the country in the world and you'll have this passive income for the rest of your life meanwhile my manager said no no no you your cast will each be splitting one percent yeah of this show so like you know if it if it was maybe if it started making more money than apple you'd get a hundred bucks yeah but i remember my manager various things she was like i i should throw this contract out the window and i was like but i want to do it it was only saturday nights uh so basically we we did it was very i mean it was like a 70 minute show it was like very quick yeah so we did all this improv and i was still like new to comedy i'd like you know would do stand-up show two times a year but like it felt like every a bunch of the

actors there were i would call them comedians i know it has this stand-up connotation but like you douglas goodhart who's in uncle function alex fast who's in uncle function douglas goodhart's uh uh uh girlfriend yes was in it um and they were all really funny yeah they were really funny and really good at improv and we were doing like character improv yeah and and it was one of those things where it became very clear because we were doing it became very clear where you were like in the first month or two where you're like oh like this person i remember being like after the first rehearsal you weren't there yet but i remember thinking that douglas and alex were like two of the funniest people that i'd ever been around and

having like a uh like a like a comedy crush on like they're they made me laugh so hard and then so i felt like early on in that thing we found the the people that we thought were really funny and we were like kind of yeah and we were all people like we should have started we should have gone to ucb way back in the day but this was our this was our version of yes um and i remember being dreadfully insecure yeah because i thought like i was like a funny person and then particularly alex fast who who doesn't he works he formed uncle function but then he left and he was so fucking talented and so quick on his feet yeah and i just remember and makes you nervous

makes you nervous like he would he would make you you would be like he was a real live wire like we were like what is he gonna you know yeah and and we we didn't have chemistry interpersonal chemistry now now we saw each other at our friend chris birthday and now we got, we talked a long, long time. So, but like at that phase when people were like more talented than me, I just shut, became the worst version of like what I am. And I was just, I would walk away from those rehearsals so insecure and feeling like a loser.

And then Alex ended up asking me to be on the sketch team that was being formed. The producer, you know, who kind of like is operating at a thousand different, so he's got this show, he's got Broadway shows and he also was like,

I'm going to have a sketch team. And I don't know where the market was for that. Like maybe 10 years before that. I think he wanted to make Davenport Theater

more of like a comedy hub. So he's like, I'll have a sketch team. But then it resulted in us doing anything with it. It resulted in us doing one show there

that We did a couple shows at the Davenport Theater. Oh yeah, yeah. But then it resulted in us doing one show there that. We did a couple of shows at the Davenport Theater. Oh, yeah. But one was like very like, you have space to rehearse here. You have blah, blah. It was like, oh, great. We have a space to rehearse and a thing. And, you know, it was a nice intro thing that.

Yeah. And I think what's I think what's incredible about it was just like. that uh yeah and i think what's i think what's incredible about it was just like so so then alex brought in chris cafero who's uh i don't function down uh uh and then jessica fry uh he went to college with jessica and chris had done that uh also made his problem with him and so it was just like we all it worked somehow i mean i've been on several improv teams comedy collaborations and like this just happened to work and the first couple years i found very challenging because i felt when i first went in there i thought obviously i i thought like oh i know comedy really well because i had considered myself a stand-up comedian obviously looking back it's like no it wasn't but i remember being very overwhelmed by how talented the rest were and

like this is like part of like getting out of college or or just entering the real world especially in new york you're like fuck everyone is really good and i remember those like first couple years specifically russell russell and listen douglas and chris are very fine too but like russell would have sketches where he would just make us all laugh so fucking hard to this day to this day but but there was like something in the beginning it was just like i was so i just saw it and all i could think was i am not good enough to be here wow and there was a couple yeah you you you there were a couple times where i thought you were gonna quit because you were really like and it wasn't because it was like we were fighting it was just because you felt overwhelmed like it felt like

you we had a director for the first for the first show we did and i remember he was like picking like he was in charge and he was picking which sketches for us to do. And I had three sketches in contention. One of them being a casting session for an ISIS beheading video that M. Night Shyamalan was directing. And there was still some good jokes in there. I stand by it. But I remember he only picked one of my three and everyone else got two

sketches in the show. And that was my first like, oh my God, I'm not good. And it was, and and that was awful and that was part of like the structure of it like it did kind of suck in terms of that where we were all together and then some outside force picks these things yes yeah but but i remember there's one uncle function and it was like two years in where it was at shetler studios i remember and afterwards you, you, it was a sketch that never even worked, but it was like, it was one where Jessica was the date.

That was super weird. Uh, what's the line about Florida? Uh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh yeah.

Um, uh, it was something about like, uh, it was someone, someone has a new girlfriend. Someone had just died. And you're like,

I forget something about, he was and you're like, I forget. Something about, he was, oh, like, don't talk about him that way. He just died. He just died.

He was killed by the state for being a murderer. There was, but it was like, Jessica was like crushing. It was just one of these moments where everyone's laughing. I was like, I was laughing too. Yeah.

But inside I was like, I was obviously sad about many things. And I like full on started like, I left after and I, Chris is the one one whenever i'm that emotional or like crying chris is the like joe marco whisperer yeah unless we're fighting and then then it's yes no i remember he talked to you because we were like some of the guy talked to him because you were um yeah you just were you felt like you were so like i don't know uh you were so wound up i remember too like i don't know uh you were so wound up i remember too like i don't know if that was the same time where we there was a big fight where you were gonna um

we were gonna like do like like an improv warm-up game and you were like you were like so against doing this improv warm-up game and you were like dead set and like we don't like you were like you were like i don't know why we're doing this i don't remember like you were like so angry about the thing we're like well let's just like warm up we just got here you know and we we'd never do that anymore so it just is a funny thing like you were very like in like i was just like it's a lot different yeah everyone figured out everyone's things and like uh i think you know we feel a lot more secure and uh and insecure in different ways but um you know yeah now i'm totally i got it together i never feel insecure anymore

but yeah i think it was just like it's all being an actor in the city it's just it's just brutal and i don't mean like oh it's harder than jobs. It's more just like you're dependent on a bunch of, uh, sources for like validation and knowing if you're good or making the right decisions. So you just live in a real bubble of, of insecurity. And,

um, and it was just a challenging time. It was, it was, but like Uncle Funky just been, uh, it was like me finding friends. Yeah. For the first time. It was a lot of things to me. It was definitely it was, but like Uncle Funky just been, it was like me finding friends for the first time.

It was a lot of things to me. It was definitely like you figuring out what it meant to have friends. Yeah. I had a girlfriend in college that was my whole social life. I was in an acting company, the acting company, they were my friends. It disappeared. And then I started in New York. I have no friends in New York.

I just went through a breakup i i don't know how to have friends well and so like it was uncle function was like a truly a like learning how to be a social being in the world i felt mixed with talent i felt like i was really good at socializing but i like you didn't have friends in new york until uncle function like i did i had i had the people i lived with that i was close with a couple of people i saw but I like you didn't have friends in New York until uncle function. Like I did, I had, I had the people I lived with that I was close with a couple of people I saw from time to time,

but I didn't have a group of like, these are like my best friends in the city. And I felt like that didn't happen until uncle function like gave me that too. Cause I was like, I kept feeling like I'd been here for, at that point I'd been there like three, four years. And I was like, how do I not have more friends?

Like, I feel like I am someone who have a really easy time talking, but I wasn't going to class. I didn't take classes at UCB or anything. So I just wasn't meeting people in that way. Yeah. So it was like, it was a blessing and it was challenging. And then like, it hit its stride at some point. It was a blessing. And it was challenging.

And then like it hit its stride at some point. But in the beginning, I really was just overwhelmed with like I didn't know how to. I didn't feel like I had anything I was bringing to the table yet. And I didn't know what I was good at. And so I just felt like everyone thinks that I'm the worst one here. Everyone knows it. And it was really bad for for a couple years that feeling but here you are 10 years later yeah i mean no 10 7 yeah then once once you've seen you know russell's tricks you're like oh so he's uh he's loud and then makes it a little gay

everyone's everyone has their tricks everyone has their tricks and there is and i i and i don't mean this to disparage any anyone on the team but it's like once you've worked with someone a long enough time you've seen them suck you've seen them be great you've seen them suck you've seen everything in between you've seen the tricks that they lean on you see the things that are new and every performer becomes human to you right and i i don't think that means you think of them as less talented, but you just like, we've all seen each other write sketches that were brilliant and write sketches that it was like, how could you have thought to like have us read this together?

Like, do you know life is finite? Yeah. And you're going to bring this piece about a psychic bringing back my dead Italian. I'm just kidding. That was a sketch from today's rehearsal that I really like. But yeah, it took a while. And it really, yeah. Yeah.

It was a lot. Uncle Funk does a lot of things to me. It is funny when you do that one too. And you're like, it's so funny that you're like, you still do this thing right before you. That is the worst part of the sketch is like when you have a new thing. And for whatever reason, you're like, I can't imagine the pressure if you were like,

if it was like an, like an SNL type scenario, because I'm like, I feel so vulnerable in terms of just doing it with a group of people that I consider my best friends. Like, and it's like, you all like,

no matter how long it's been, you do that dumb bullshit thing where you're like, so it's not done yet. It's kind of like, you know, I got how long it's been you do that dumb bullshit thing where you're like so it's not done yet it's kind of like you know i gotta figure it out it's a mess right now you do like that whole like spiel of like how this is not good it's bad it's and it's very i mean that's how i've always operated stand-up wise i feel like because i started as an actor and we all were actors before comedians that we very much like it's like let's test it out in front of each other let's do a reading i think we all are very influenced by this like playwriting you do a reading you see how it plays and then you make notes and so uncle function taught me in a way

how to like how i do stand-up now which is it's part of it is just learning how to incorporate feedback and make changes based on that feedback yeah and like we make changes our audience is each other for that for those first reads of those sketches yeah and like that's and then with stand-up that's like now i do that you know with with different people at different times but it came from uncle function learning that skill yeah forged in the fires yeah for sure yeah for sure the fires of sketch comedy do you think sketch comedy is like a dying art now? It exists in so many different ways. Commercials are sketches, but yeah, I think that like the powers,

seeing how stand-up barely functions, stand-up barely functions, right? And like you can get to this higher level where it makes enough money touring on the road but i think like touring is a big part of what makes an art form like viable and like i think about i was just in north carolina doing the smaller room at a reputable chain and i do one show friday one show saturday my payday for those two shows combined was five hundred dollars the travel is probably two something on top of that you know as well as i do we pay 250 for those two shows combined was $500. The travel is probably two something on top of that. You know, as well as how do we pay two 50 for the ads for that?

I sell merch to make up a little, but I barely make any money. So make that a sketch team of four or five people. There's no money to be had. So there's not a healthy system for a sketch as a live art form to really thrive. Yeah. And it's,

it's too bad. And you, you always think that there could be an entrepreneur somewhere who could figure this out. But it's about like a whole, so UCB created hubs essentially. And they ultimately failed. They didn't pay anyone. And part of their ability to draw

was the belief that if you went there, it was your introduction to the professional pipeline. Yeah. And they, it worked for a long time. And casting directors would say, you got to have UCB experience to audition for this commercial, which is an insane requirement. It's elitist. It encourages people who only have money. It's a horrible system because you're basically banking on this institution to do your work for you. But it allowed UCB to create a stage that people went to and people honing their craft.

So right now I think a sketch without these theaters is in a bit of a strange place. And there was a time where character people were stand-up comedians. Jim Carrey would not have, I don't think he would have done stand-up in this day and age. He would have done like character work and characters welcome. So I don't think it's a dying form, because I think all these art forms

exist because they're there. They're a way to express yourself comedically. But I don't think there's any kind of place for it to really thrive right now, other than TikTok and social media, which

some brilliance is on there. I mean, Caleb Huron, people make brilliant things on there, but live sketch comedy, there's just not a lot. And I don't know what will happen. I do think something will happen, but I think there might be a limit

because I just don't think the arts are fostered enough economically to create a system where people could tour. Uncle Function could never tour the way that I tour as a stand-up comedian. And that's too bad. That's too bad because I think there's a lot of great stuff that could be out there. Yeah. And Uncle Function should be way more famous than it is. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Thank you. Okay. be out there yeah and uncle function should be way more famous than it is yeah i agree i agree thank

you um okay well let's uh i want to hear more about the unemployed actor's studio um i saw a couple of videos on youtube and one of those was actually wait is there a distinction between an actor unprepared and like the whole matzo pizza thing yeah so these are just two early projects uh an actor unprepared was like my first web series right out the gate where a production company like offered to like make these series with me and it was a great experience i like i've i felt like if you watch it i think it's you see seinfeld right then and there yeah and uh i think think it was, I was proud of it. I still look back and I'm like, some of these moments are fun.

But it was a time where everyone was making web series. Web series was the thing. This was like when Broad City like got the Comedy Central deal. And it's like, okay. Yeah. And a lot of times you feel like, unfortunately you feel like, oh, fucking I'm late to this party. You know, a lot of like struggling as an actor, you feel like, fuck,'m late to this party you know a lot of like struggling as an actor you feel like fuck i guess i didn't read the tea leaves or you just didn't

yeah so so i i remember trying to get press for an actor unprepared which was a skit a stand i mean a web series four episode five episodes um fully scripted 10 minutes each seven to ten and i remember trying to get press for it and i wrote backstage magazine which featured web series a bunch uh and they're like oh cool we'll check it out um by the way this was like one of their interns by the way if you have any time i also wrote a web series about being an actor uh do you want to watch that on youtube here here it is and i thought that that was a real like and oh, fuck. And I would love, I would write that series now. I mean, there's great series about the arts.

I remember Hello Ladies, which didn't get a lot of love, but Stephen Merchant on HBO was a very good show. I never saw it. And his friend is an actor. And you can't help it. You write about the things you know. So there's a lot of great series out there about being an actor, but there only gets to be a couple at a time.

And at a certain point it's like, you know, I'd love to, I would love to write my crashing of course, but we just had a crashing. And if we're going to have another standup show, it's not going to be a straight white guy. I mean,

and it could be obviously, and it probably will be in a couple of years, but there's a degree of like how many of these shows can we have? Yeah. And not feel like we've kind of, yeah. We've seen it. We've seen this. And then Matza Pizza was just like a different project later where I got these general electric commercials.

I had the most money I've had. I mean, I haven't had that much money since. And I met Lindsay Elizabeth Hand, who's a producer, Edge of Motion Productions. And I spent an insane amount of money uh just making these sketches and like it was good i learned a lot and if like i ever have a show again like i learned lessons about like leadership and decisions and uh so many things so many tools especially like it didn't do well i mean some some things got a lot of views but it didn't like you know wasn't picked up for a series or anything

or give me a new age or anything. But like I learned a lot of lessons from that that I think I use when I promote myself as a standup comedian now. And it was all very, very useful stuff. So my favorite matzo pizza video was That's a Spicy Pepper Show. Oh, God.

So Russ is nervous about this one because we can give a context here where your character is like, we're these YouTube dumbasses. Yes. And so there's a joke where you say shishito pepper. Yes. And you say it like with an accent. Yeah. I don't know why we have to highlight it on this. But I wrote it because I wrote it and he's just an actor there's movies look at the pizza what

did you see licorice pizza i did no there was a racist moment of licorice pizza that is insane but it's the character but uh and then in the in the sketch i go we're not allowed to do that anymore and we cut and we fix it and i say sorry. But there is a thing where, do you remember that day like my train stopped coming? Yeah. I was like an hour and a half late to that shooting day. And Russell has never been late since.

To a single thing ever. I never been that late. No, it was, Russell was like crazy late and Lindsay had not worked with you yet and I had to be like, I promise this is a train issue. This is insane.

Like it was an insane thing. Like it was like, but anyways. It's a funny, it's, it was, it was the one sketch I wrote that like several sequel. Do you remember this? There was a sequel. Yeah. So remember, so you entered that into some contest. You're right.

So wait, let's just explain real quick. So the sketch there, it was, it was like, this was before hot ones was a big thing where, but people were making like eat a spicy thing and ours was like we did it but Russell's character did not eat the spicy pepper and I was like dying from the pepper and he turned it into he was mad at me about something

and would only give me milk if I would admit that the finale of Lost was actually good and this is why the sketch series didn't succeed is that it truly was a random like it was I thought it was very Lost was actually good. And this is why the Sketch to Here series didn't succeed, is that it truly was random. Yeah. Like, I thought it was very funny. It was very true to me.

And, like, maybe if you're Tim Robbins and Netflix is promoting it, like, people go, like, the people are into it. It was very, like, that kind of. But it was weird. It was weird. It was very me. It was my truth comedically. It was.

It ended up being, like like this whole big thing. And then the end was like a little bit like Lost. You give me a gun. You give me a gun. And I decide to kill myself as opposed to admit that Lost finale was good. Also, sidebar, John Marco was eating spicy pepper. You were the actor of like the, what do you call it, method actor. You were crying because you were eating spicy peppers

I didn't eat a ghost pepper so I wasn't quite like Jeremy Strong would have eaten the ghost pepper yes but I wanted to like really be real and so I was eating

some kind of pepper that was very spicy and I just kept eating them until I was like crying and like it hurt yeah and that night

I took an improv class I remember I had to shit in the middle of that improv class like the worst pain of my entire life and because when we were filming we had to actually have you turn on the sink and not work they turned off the water so you actually there was not one you were like in between you were like yeah um but uh but anyways yes you end up dead at the end of the

thing and it's like me rolling over being like oh he is actually dead so then you entered this into some ucb thing i forget yeah it was channel one channel one dan harman had like a video sketch series thing at ucb and it won it won so then it was like okay we had to then you were like you we talked and you're like we have to have a second episode of this series but he had died so then it was like i filmed a thing on my own. Yeah. It was called My High Kitchen. And it was like that same premise, but it was like very low budget. And it was me trying heroin for the whole time. So My Drunk Kitchen was a popular show where this girl would that like blew up where she would get a little bit drunk and then cook and like jokey.

And so that was the idea that it's again, we take and you doing heroin and did you die in it i died yes so so like the very beginning was like the intro for and it was like calvin died i have a show now it was like just to address that you had died it was like calvin died i have a show now and it was my high kitchen and it was like me trying heroin for the first time and like but like while i'm making a grilled cheese so it'd be like like the same kind of energy we had in the first one um but then yeah it ended up with me just in the corner of the room dead while like my dog was licking my face at the time and that was the end and then it won and then you got a third level and lindsey my, did an unboxing video of like your ashes or something and cuts her hand and bleeds to death. And these are, I mean, these are true to me.

These are the kind of sketches I wanted to make. At the time, you know, I like had pivoted and I wanted to be like Brightanic, which was a big sketch group. That was amazing. And this was like college humor. And again, it was like I caught it on the tail end I've always been too late to the thing too and also just like that was a reality check of where like

I hadn't done the UCB and all the things so I didn't know these people that you know it's all part of this network and some of them started NYU and then some of them really got in touch at UCB and it was one of those things where like you can't make this stuff happen on your own unless you're so social media savvy, you're a genius.

But it was just like, when I first moved to New York, I was like, I'm gonna meet casting directors, get into TV shows that way. And I did that and eschewed working and acting classes and comedy classes. So I didn't have a network. I didn't have a community. So there was nothing to like help prop me up.

And that, that was a, it was a hard lesson to learn until you're like 25, 26. And then being like, okay, I got to like engage in the community and, uh,

things you don't, they don't teach you in school. No. What other learning curves have you experienced while like living in New York city? Cause I just moved here like eight months ago so sure like going through and it really it really is about like it's the social aspect i think where which has always been a struggle for me but like that's why

that's what sucked is that i was in this acting company and then it disappeared and everything dissolved and i was in like a musical theater conservatory but by the time we graduated there were only 11 people and only three of them are still in the arts like wow like some of those early things that would build my community just were too small or too fragile and i think in new york it's it's part of it is just like growing a base um and yeah and then it takes time it's something you cannot speed up and you have to be wary of the things that waste your time I was part of the flea theater

and like that was like exploitative and they during the pandemic they got fucking annihilated because you know they've got a 20 million dollar theater and they never pay their actors but you got to be careful there's a lot of scams out there scams with like a lowercase s

where like they're not like robbing you but they're not paying you or they're not really helping you and it's like just being able to find the people that you want to work with yeah I think that the social thing and then also it took me a long time to figure out how to make money and

feel like then I could have social or I could do other things like I felt like it took me too long to be like, I was working seven days a week. I had like four jobs and it was all like, I was able to manage and like do it, but it was like so draining that you're like, I'm,

I'm like, I'm paying rent and like, but I have no time for like lots of things, you know? So then it's kind of like, why do you pay so much money to live here? Yeah. And then when I figured that out, like when I felt like I figured it out more, I was like,

oh, it's much better to live this way. Like when you're like, okay, I can survive and I have time to, you know, do other things. I feel like one of the things that I think is the hardest, or I guess that I've had a struggle with here is like navigating public transportation. or I guess that I've had a struggle with here is like navigating public transportation. I'm from Southern California. So like always had a car and then obviously like drove around a lot.

So then moving here, I don't have a car. I have to take the subway or the bus or walk or bike. Two of those things that John Marco cannot do. Yeah. Like one of those things. But- I rarely use the bus too. I use it more like in the last

two years but rarely do i use the bus it feels like it takes a lot longer and it doesn't feel as reliable i can't tell you the number of times i thought a bus was coming to a stop and it skips the stop yeah i would i if if i could i would chase after and you're like running down the street like screaming screaming um but so i i have a story um one time i risked my life for this podcast oh really oh my god um i was going to meet with uh spencer our video editor um out in bushwick and i that's also a very good stand-up comedian and he doesn't listen i know maybe he will um and then i was taking the m train into Bushwick and I've been to Bushwick like plenty of times before I used to work with a photographer out there and so but usually I just

take the m going into Manhattan not further into Brooklyn but this time took it further into Brooklyn and I was unfamiliar with where I was going so then I was like looking up at the signs, seeing like which stop I was at. I looked up and then on my way back down, this guy sitting directly across from me, he's wearing a ski mask and he like waves at me. And then I know the rule is to like not make eye contact with anyone on the train ever. And usually that's my go-to.

I stare at my phone the whole time, but then I was caught off guard guard so then he like waves at me and he like turns his phone screen around and he shows me a photo of a gun and this is so scary i was terrified and i was like texting my friends i'm like what do i do like were you the only one on the train with him no there were like 10 other people in the same car so oh my god you should have googled a bigger gun and been like don't fuck with me bazooka i got a bazooka on my phone but like i didn't know if he was like carrying a gun or yeah had some kind of weapon um so then i was texting my friend was like what do i do and she's like get off at the next stop like once you get off make like try to find someone like pretend you're friends with them

and i was like okay but the whole time i'm like okay this is it i'm gonna die here and you approach someone else they text their friend this weird woman came yeah yeah i think what's so funny about wait do you so wait but i want to you got off did he didn't follow you i got off the train thankfully he did not follow me but i i got out to like a city center square whatever there's a lot of people there people selling stuff on the street and so I felt like I was safe there because there were a bunch of people around so then I turned around just to make sure that he wasn't following me I did not see him but then immediately um or so I call my friend just tell her like i'm okay like crisis averted and then immediately this non-asian guy comes up to me and he says ni hao and i was like okay

oh no and and like like was he being a jerk or was he oh yeah it was like from like a racist kind of thing like you shouldn't be here oh by the way i'm japanese so that doesn't yeah yeah yeah he should have said konnichiwa exactly i would have been like all right correct sir that is oh that is wild yeah and then wait what's where where in new york was this um off of the m like uh uh maybe like knickerbocker, that stop or something. For a second I thought it was like now you're saying a slur. Hey.

I didn't choose the name. Wait, that's horrible and I'm very sorry you had to go through that. Then I texted you after about this and then you're like that happened to me at a McDonald's. And then I was like wait. The guy showed you a gun too?

does this just happen? I think it was a Starbucks but it was some guy we were sitting in the eating area and he was like clearly like he was twitchy and like you know mentally something's going on and like a lot of tics and he kept going like

and he'd flash this phone with a gun on it he didn't have a ski mask on but he just kept like showing this gun and i i went to is that how they sell them i but it was like it was it's just the way he was doing it and he was showing it to the security camera i remember this he would like show it to me he'd show it to me security camera and again part of you is like okay well i just i don't think like shooters are known for for showing it on their phone first in Google images. But I went to the barista, this poor barista, just making 10 frappuccinos every 10 seconds. I'm like, hey, this guy, he's showing me a gun on his phone.

And they were like, ugh. And get out. They don't have any fear in the world. This is the 10th. Phone gun Larry. Phone gun Larry. But I remember when you told me that story, I was like,

A, is it the same guy? That seems very unlikely. Yeah. Or B, like maybe there's a mental illness. And then like the idea of like showing images, like the way he was showing it,

it imagined what I, I've never had a flasher, but I imagine it's whatever impulse it is. Like, let me show you the thing that's going to make you upset yeah like something about that like yeah it's the morales did i ever tell you one time i was on the subway and uh you're flashing someone a picture of a gun on your phone you had a ski mask on no there was a guy that was like doing he was he looked you know again mentally unwell uh but he was doing like drawings fast drawings like of people on the train uh-huh and he was like he was doing characters they weren't flattering like like i could see what he was drawing and he was but he was laughing he was like doing it and he'd be like he'd be like looking at a lady what kind of drawing and he'd be like

he'd be like and then he and then he would get done with it really fast you do it it was actually impressive because you were like these are like real drawings and he would do it fast and then he'd rip off the paper real quick and kind of like show it when he was done but laughing the whole time so he he's doing it to a bunch of people crazy caricatures and then he gets to me and he was not laughing anymore he was going and then and then and then and then he he ripped it off and he goes and just like threw it and so but i was like wait why was my noise not the laugh he was enjoying so much everyone else's thing.

And then with me, he was like, ew, ew. Like, did not like it. What did it look like? What do you mean, what did it look like? Did you look at it? No, I didn't. I was doing that thing where you're, like, not looking. But I am.

I was, like, clocking all of it. But I later on was so mad I didn't take it. Like, on the floor. Oh, my God. Do you know what I mean? You should have framed it. Like on the floor. Oh my God. Do you know what I mean? You should have framed it. Framed it and been like, because I was like,

that was. I want to know what, that's so funny. I mean, I'm glad I didn't see what it looked like. I can't imagine it was flattering. Yeah, just like a giant circle with two little eyes.

Do you get a lot of people going nihao as like a thing that's only the second time it's happened to me it has also happened to me in hollywood so both not super great places i guess um but no i mean it's it's usually i don't does it do you do you feel uh a rage or do you like just go ah fuck it i think the first time it happened to me i was like very like upset about it i was like fuck you like yeah get away from me yeah but now i'm kind of just like you're just a piece of shit yeah for sure yeah but that's i hate that that's what is hard about new york sometimes is you're like you can be having a really bad day and something and then you're like it's so jarring how like then you're like come on like yeah you could be having a really bad day and something. And then you're like, it's so jarring how like, then you're like, come on.

Yeah, exactly. You'll hear on the episode, the Casey Cohen episode, someone like kind of pushed themselves into Tova. And like someone like physically assaulted her on like the street and I got in between them. And like no one was hurt, thank God. But it's just like one of those things in New York where you're like, the city's so tough sometimes and then some fucker's gonna make your day worse yeah and you're like what are you doing man yeah but i mean you gotta roll with the punches here because otherwise like you can't live here sure no yeah for sure i do find that noise canceling my my headphones have helped a lot because i used to oh my god that'd be a great

commercial like these headphones you can't even hear the racist things people are saying to you no but like there is a thing where you're like i would get i would get so anxious like when someone is mentally unwell on the subway and feeling like you're trapped with that energy i get so freaked out by it and i feel like i give off the energy of like engage with me because I'm trying to hide so much and I'm a big guy. So I'm still like like that. And they pick up on that. And like sometimes they can, you know. And so but ever since then, like now I have music and stuff where I'm like, I miss a lot of things.

And then you'll hear the tail end in between songs. You're like, oh, I missed this whole thing. This person screaming at someone else, you know. Yeah, that's scary. Because like what if like somebody's walking behind you and you don't even hear them yeah i think i'm i i think the privilege of being a big man like myself i agree i think people are less inclined to knock on wood me too me too i i absolutely like i have no idea i think that most people do not focus with me just because I'm tall. And if they knew how easily I would fold, they would come so hard.

But I always remember one time in Harlem, there were a bunch of Rastafarian guys who would hang out by doorstep, and they were always, we'd always laugh, and we'd always have a moment going inside. And I remember once I had a woman over, and she was like, can you come downstairs and let me in? And I was so confused. I was like, oh, I'll just buzz you in. But, like, she was like, like, woman over and she was like, can you come downstairs and let me in? And I was so confused. I was like, oh, I'll just buzz you in.

But like she was like, like for her, she was like, no, this is like scary for me. There are eight men here. Yeah. There are eight men here. And for all I know, they are rude to women and nice to me. And it was just like, it was just one of those moments where I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. I don't really know what the world is like when you're like smaller. Oh yeah.

Cause like I would never have my noise canceling headphones on and like, you probably, yeah, you shouldn't. Yeah. I like, I, if anything,

I turned down the volume so I can still hear stuff. I'm Blair musical theater. I'm dancing. Oh, I never thought of that. I really wish I could. Bummer. Yeah.

But that is not my reality. Um, okay, wait. So how long have you guys been living in New York City for? Oh, definitely a decade now. 11 years for me. Do you feel like you're a real New Yorker now? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's more about like experiences than it is about like time.

But like I've dealt with the police. I've had a rat hit me in the leg i mean certainly by the time that i was did a couple of those black lives matter marches and the police like arrested everyone in front of me and like i ran with other people from the situation you're like oh oh yeah this is my home yeah this is my home and it's really strange when you start that moment where going home to your parents is the trip like that's not visiting home that's that's the trip yeah and this is home right but for sure yeah for sure this is this is my home and i don't i don't have you have a love for new york i do i have kind of a disdain but i i feel like that's also just in my nature.

Yeah. Where I'm kind of, I feel angry at the city. I feel very angry about the subways. I feel sad about all the things that close and the chains. Yeah. It just feels like the infrastructure is so crumbling. I feel all those things too, but I just know when I go other places, I feel more disdain for, for other things.

And, and feeling like, well, what can we do? You know, like this thing of like, and not to put down any other place, but I do feel like the oftentimes it's like not,

I'm not even using all the resources of New York, but the possibility and the, the, I just knowing that it's there is, is, is comforting to me. I was walking home. There was a seven 11 onto Lancy and I was going to get, sometimes I get eggs, you know, I'm walking home late was a 7-eleven on delancey and i was going

to get sometimes to get eggs you know i'm walking home late from the cellar i don't have anything for breakfast and all of a sudden you walk by it and i thought i went crazy it was entirely boarded up there was no even sign it was a 7-eleven i don't know if the remodeling or it went away but sometimes moments like that happen where you're like oh it's gone it's gone i was in there yesterday and it was all and you peek in and like it's been gutted. And you're like, when? Oh my God. It's truly, and I told Tova and she was like, what do you mean it's not there anymore?

And I was like, exactly what I mean. It's not there anymore. That's so weird. And it just feels like New York's in that state where, I was just in Raleigh, North Carolina. And it's like they're, the comedy club had performed it. They're moving and they're leaving this venue of 30 years because they're a booming economy and Apple is moving their new headquarters there.

So they're turning it into condos. And it's just like, sometimes you go everywhere in America and it feels like everyone's always like, oh, back in the 80s, back in the 90s, this was a thriving art scene. It's everywhere in America. I feel like too,

because you're like, it's just, I think it's America because you're like it's just i think it's america because you're like you should have seen this blah blah you missed the heyday and you're like every city every town is saying that and you're like it's just america we missed the heyday of america like it's all like it's all been not as good and like and i'm not i'm not talking about in terms of like of of there's a lot of things that are clearly stage capitalism yeah it's just like the stuff of like the you know but there's a thing too where i feel like for 50 40 years now you talked to because you

talked to there's old new yorkers who are like yeah you should see in the 70s where blah blah you know and there was like astounding levels of crime and things like that. There is something where you're like, that New York's been gone for so long that you're like, it's been, I don't know. Yeah, Giuliani either cleaned up the city or got rid of all the arts and all the sex workers that my dad loved to visit. But it sounded like back in the day, Times Square was like, you'd have the best time of your life or the last moment of your life. You see those old subways. I mean, you're like, well, fuck. That looks scary. I know.

That looks fucking scary. That is the thing, too, where I'm like, where people sometimes like New York. I'm like, I see those old videos of New York. And I'm like, that is that does scare me. Yeah. I never feel that way when I'm here now. I will never forget. I don't know if I should.

It's such a bad thing he said once but i was in harlem and uh 125th and malcolm x boulevard and i my sister was going to nyu and she's also white rather than the family and uh i invited her for dinner at like 7 p.m on a tuesday and my my stepfather called and i guess she had told him that she was meeting for dinner and he said don't you ever tell your sister to go to Harlem that late at night. Oh, my God. And I was like, and then I thought about when they depicted Harlem in Mad Men, which is the 50s and 60s. Yeah.

Where they depicted it as like, just like a place a white person wouldn't go. And I was like, I live across the new Whole Foods here. Do you know how expensive it is to live in Harlem? this image of harlem is not what like and obviously there's there's problems of racially too yeah there's clearly but like but maybe there was a time when when that would have been strange to have a girl a woman of her age 17 years old go up to harlem but it was such a such a moment of like oh you don't know what Harlem is like now and

I never could make a bit out of it but it really it always struck me as very strange Russell have you ever had like your I knew I was a New Yorker moment you know no I don't know if I have like that i feel like going through the process of having to move a bunch having a lot of jobs that are are strange hours and things i feel like

it's just a collective thing of you know i've also had a rat walk across my my foot once there is a collective thing of like you've seen enough things where um i always think of it like this i think of it sometimes i go home and or i'm with an extended family member or something and they'll tell me something about their day and i'm like i would never think to share this detail or the story about someone or i'll notice that they're like why is this person doing that they'll be like in in like our hometown area or like they'll notice something about someone's lawn being weird or something where i'm like what i feel like what makes me feel like a new yorker's i mind my own business where i'm like i don't i would never think to care about what someone's wearing what they're what they're saying what they're blah blah you

just go and do your thing and it's like so boring sometimes what's being pointed out when i'm not in new york so i'm like there's times where what makes me laugh is like there'll be full days where i'm like oh like i one time i was like oh nicole i slipped in barf the other day and fell on the ground like like i slipped like where i'm like didn't immediately come home and wasn't like i just slipped in barf it was like yeah i kept going you know you had you like there is a thing where i just like that new york minds it's business most of the time and i think that that is what i felt more like in as a new yorker of like i really agenda i like that because i get sometimes you go other places and there's so much comments on what other people are doing or and i'm like who care like just go just keep especially especially when you do feel it's when there's

moments where it feels dangerous we were like i'm not i don't care what anyone else is doing i just want to be safe yeah and i just want to get from point a to point b yeah yeah um well should we talk about your funeral yeah let's get to our funeral oh yeah so especially for our patreon members you've heard some funeral talk but uh this is also now to the main food. We do talk about our demise very often. I think Russell and I both are bound by very existential thoughts. Yes. Oh yeah. Death every day.

I think about it. And the whole point of this is to get like a record of, of what you want to have prepared for your funeral. I guess I should have thought about this. I know. I know the one thing with Russell is it's my job. What's with, you know, it was really horrifying is that like that like i've i've like thought it through my head we're like i go to the podium and i go uh russell just wanted to let you guys know one thing and that he did not

want to die if he were here right now he would be so upset and if that he's dead and if there was a pill to live forever he wouldn't worry about any of the consequences of that pill. I have always believed that. He would take that right away. There was always a thing when I was like so like existentially angsty in college where like some people like, but would you want to live forever? And I was like, yes, absolutely. You get bored. No, I wouldn't.

I'd be, I would be so happy. In theory, like you're not age like you're not gonna age like like because sometimes i think sure the the thing of like of like not wanting to live forever is you're dealing with all the aging stuff and it beats you down so much that you're just like just it you know and if you're not dealing with that aging process yeah i think i could go a lot longer than like 100 years you get bored bitch i've seen the office four times through i had to do you know like i would like yeah of course like 100 years you get bored bitch i've seen the office four times through i had to do you know what i mean like i would like yeah of course like just because you can live forever doesn't mean you'd have to i think the option is always on the table to not if you but so you take

the pill and then you kill yourself if you ever change your mind no i yeah i think yeah i could go for a long time probably yeah people who are like fine i remember reading like there was a greek philosopher he says uh i'm i don't worry about death because when I'm not, because when I'm dead, I am not. Like his comfort was like something about like, because why think about it? Because if I'm alive, then I'm not dead. And if I'm dead, then I am not.

So no worries. Like it was like his Hakuna Matata with death. And I was always like, fuck off. Then kill yourself because it won't matter. I always think of like when people die and I'm like like they didn't even get to hear that new album like i always think of the things that uh sometimes like and it doesn't even make sense because i'm like why would betty white care about that album but i do think of like this thing of like i would be bummed if i didn't get to see that piece of content sure so i think of like all i think of all the content that i'll be sad about

missing uh when I'm dead. But what about like the thing, the bad things that they don't have to go through? Like the people who died before COVID never had to see like. Sure. Well, my, my grandfather,

technically step grandfather, he died at the end of 2020. And you really, it sucks that you're, and he was like, you know, I'm sure he wasn't fully aware in that last year, it sucks that you're, and he was like, you know, I'm sure he wasn't fully aware in that last year, but it's just like to,

to have to like have the tail end of your life and the final year be like this quarantine life and not see your loved ones. Yeah. It really is so fucking awful. Disheartening. You know what? Something I've thought about so much since I ever saw it. I shouldn't even share it with you,

but I will. Whereas like something about hospitals being overstaffed and it was like something hospitals do where they fill up like a glove with warm water to let the dying person feel like they're holding someone's hand joe marco and i think about that i think about that picture so much about how many percentage of people that were like this is a fake hand like they know it on some level like how even more depressing that is that they're like see that's where his mind goes they're like and then they just die you know like how like when they realize that that is they they didn't even have a person to hold their hand and that was the last thing they remember um so but it's fine because it happens and you know somehow you made made it sadder. Isn't that incredible?

You took the sad thing and you made it even sadder. Uh, so yeah. So, so for, for my funeral, oh man, it really sucks. I definitely want it to be like a funny thing. It won't be. But like, I want there to be like funny, like, like speeches. So it's like a celebration of life as opposed to a funeral. Who's going to speak?

Chris, Chris would make something funny. I mean, I want you to make something funny, but like, I know that's not like your, the way your comedy expresses itself. And like, you could do a character, like you have permission to, if that's how you need to express it. I don't think I want to do that, but I. Like, like, oh my God, you could do the... Alright, I'm requesting it now, so buckle up. This is not going to play well at the funeral. You have to do your character,

which is a former porn star at a funeral home. John Marco! I cannot do that. Someone comes in, they need to cremate their aunt. Like, so... She was a porn star, she works at a funeral home, and she's like, yeah, they need to cremate their aunt. Oh yeah. Like, so she was a porn star. She works at a funeral home and she's like,

yeah, you want to cremate it? It's so hot. Yeah. And so she talks like that, but all of it's dealing with like funeral part. Let it be on the record. I want Russell to do that character.

I haven't done that a few years. It doesn't hold up as well, but, uh, I, uh, yeah, sure. I'll revive it for your thing. Mine. I haven't done that in a few years. It doesn't hold up as well. But I... Sure, I'll revive it for your thing. Mine, I will say this, and this is like, it's definitely would have to be more friends-driven.

Like, I just don't think my family... If I look again, there is this thought that some people really profess where they're like, well, it doesn't matter. You're dead, so it doesn't matter. We were talking about this with... We have a friend who's like, when they died, they had a list saying, please please don't i don't want my brother at the funeral yes and they didn't respect that list and their thinking was like well they're dead

and this is i guess this is the romantic side of me or the idealist side of me where i'm like no you should respect a dead person's wishes if you can yeah which i guess is controversial in 2022 because i i i agree with you because i also feel like in in that case you're like there's sometimes people can do their own sort of the work after the person is dead where they tell themselves like oh you know i know we weren't speaking for 20 years and you know we said we hated each other to everyone we know but deep down i know like no, you didn't do the work in life. So that person went to the grave being like, I don't I'm in a fight with them still. Yeah.

And that doesn't you don't get to absolve that as like the person that's still. I feel like on some level because it feels like a little bit like you're just like it's a cop out to be like, I know. Like and you're like, well, you can say that now. The other person can't. So it doesn't feel consensual yeah right in that way i for sure would have a guest list for my funeral like you're not invited yeah yeah i uh so i would want it to be like i definitely want people to i had my i had a comedian friend uh kenny ortega who died and it it was kind of strange because i knew him in this comedy sphere, and only one comedian kind of spoke.

And I think he was closer with his family. But for me, I would definitely want, like, I would want it to have some humor to it. I think stand-up comedians, I've heard stories of comedians' funerals where people, you know, their comedy friends who love them really try to send them off in a way where they create a little piece of art.

It's just, it's a temporary piece of art that's very personal. And you put a lot of work into it. That feels cathartic. And that's what I want. I wouldn't want it to be overly somber or anything. Of course, I would hope people would be sad. I would hope some people would show up. But I would just,

if I were able to watch it, it's like I would want to see my close friends joking about me in a way that isn't too cruel. I feel like with some regular people's funerals, non-comedian funerals, they go like, we all

know Stacey was a little bit picky and everyone goes yeah and i don't know something about that i don't they're like i don't like because we all know stacy love the red socks and you're like you're like hearing people's identities ascribed to like two or three like things that that feel so limiting and small you know um i think your camera died page but that's okay that's fine we'll we'll on the screen i'm usually behind the camera anyways sure sure um so so yeah i would want you know i think there's a part of me like there's a part of me where i'm like i want the art that I made expressed in some way. Like,

and I don't know what that means, but there's something about like, you know, I've dedicated most of my past five years of my life, like writing jokes. And I'm like, to have what feels like my life's work up to this point mentioned in some way, shape or form,

or, you know, Chris can perform some of my jokes or like or just just like something about the thing that that i worked hard at like talked in a way that felt felt good i i would i would find nice or sweet because i think there's something whenever i'm like on a plane that's shaky there's something of like oh i i wish i had recorded a special or i wish I had completed a thing because it just feels nice

to think that your work culminated in something. So something, it's an artsy thing. When I think about my funeral, I think about art and my close friends. And that's what I'd want. Mine's expensive. So I think I want it at some venue where there's lots of screens and there's like there could be, you know, dancing.

There's a bar. There's food. And I think of it more of like there's almost like a cocktail hour, like where some of my favorite music is playing. Maybe some of my favorite like TV things or or like things i've i enjoyed like are playing on the thing i've i also i don't know if i ever spoke i i did like there was a phase at work at my old job where i would would draw and i have like all these like work art things that i that i really actually like and so i've never used the art for anything i've never shared it with anyone yeah but like so i would be like why not just like then be like oh also russell did these that I really actually like. And so I've never used the art for anything. I've never shared it with anyone. Yeah. But like, so I would be like,

why not just like them be like, Oh, also Russell did these weird drawings that he never really talked about. Like something though, like a cocktail hour where you can, you are hearing music that I loved and you are like seeing some of like artistic things. And then after the cocktail hour, I think a few people that I really love could do some,

some, some speaking thing. And then just like a hour i think a few people that i really love could do some some some speaking thing and then just like a party like a fun like would you want every member of uncle function to speak um i i would out of uncle function who would you want if only one of us could speak who no i can't i can't pick that but i think i i would be like whoever wants to speak and speak i don't feel i wouldn't feel good about assigning that to someone. Does that make sense? Yeah. I would feel compelled to like, but I would put a cap on,

on the time. Cause I know you're going to create a fight because I don't like, I don't like, I think you get maybe 20 minutes of speeches max for the whole thing. That's really not a lot. I just feel 19. I'm just feeling like, I just feel like I've been at things where I'm like, it's going

on too long now. Even if it's like the most beautiful thing in the world. I would insist on, I would be fine like keeping it shorter if they had to do it. Yeah. But I would, I think at this point I would insist on speaking. Yeah. No, I would, I would, I would, you would, you would definitely speak. I think, um, but so it's that that and then it's like a party afterwards and then whenever like the next time the smaller group of people because not everyone that's going

to be held in new york somewhere yeah but then a smaller group of people could go with nicole to mardi gras the following year and there's a thing that happens wow there's a thing that happens uh every year on mardi gras where people march there's a crew that marches to the mississippi river and they throw in their loved ones ashes and i don't think i want all my ashes to go in the mississippi river because i'm like i'm not that connected to the miss river but i i do think i like the idea of throwing a little bit in there yeah so she can take part of me on the plane and also it's funny to be like you know so and then shower the rest on someone's tits yeah yeah yeah but people can go like smaller group people can go and have a nice fun uh little little mardi gras thing and then just do that in

the morning of mardi gras through in the thing yeah i think sometimes like there's nothing you can guarantee in life but there's just part of you that you're like i think there's something about like once a year think about me for a second there's something about like taking just a moment to reflect and sometimes life just does it for you yeah but like even the the kenny Ortega who died, we were work colleagues. It's not like we were close. We had never gone out for a meal solo,

but we had done gigs together. And then it's just like once in a while, I just will think of that person and you're like, oh, that's an act of, that's an act of, that's a funeral of its own or that's a memorial i i i am moved by people who you know will create a shrine to a loved one or like something small or just

like uh they'll take one time a year i will always remember uh there's a book called the golden compass you know it's a famous book but there was something about they these two they were lovers but they had to they were in different universes and they had to go back to their own universes and close up the door. Uh, so they would never see each other again. Um, and once a year they would go to this garden that existed in both of their

universes and they would like sit there having faith and knowing in that other universe that that person was there for that moment. And yeah. And this is where like the very non-comedian, this is where like, and knowing in that other universe that that person was there for that moment. And yeah, and this is where like the very non-comedian, this is where like the still like very sad part of it is. And there was just something beautiful about like that. And I remember I was on the subway as I was getting to the end of that book and I sat on the bench so I could finish it in one moment.

And I was like crying on the bench reading that scene on 125th by my heart. It's just like in home alone where the mom is in france looking at the moon kevin's in chicago yeah yeah i agree i agree um by the way since you brought that up we did have one patron it did say they wanted to know about our music tastes as part of this interview so So I'll just say really quick, my music taste is garbage. It is like, I still like shitty late 90s, early 2000s pop. I love musical theater.

I haven't listened to a lot of contemporary musical theater, but it's a mess. I have no system. I struggle incorporating new music. I like some new pop. I like the Lady Gagas and the I Hate Country. I like older rap Gagas and the, the Hate Country. I like older rap, like Eminem. Okay.

And I listen to things that Russell likes and I, I, I, I don't understand and I feel like I'd have to be on drugs to get it

and I give it a sincere try. I don't go into it cynically like I do many other things. Yeah. I listen to all of RCA CD sound system. Okay, LCD sound system system LCD sound system

I listened I listened it's not crazy and I just like I just was like I was just like I don't I don't I don't get it and I'll try again and I'll try again every couple years and every year I'll go I don't they're music guesting with John Mulaney I know I know I was guys yeah

yeah I would say like my top five would be in in no order uh talking heads uh lcd sound system arcade fire david bowie david bowie's my like favorite favorite yeah then i like like uh older i like the cure the smiths a bunch of new wave uh that kind of stuff um but i like a lot of things i like i like a dance i like electronic dancey punky kind of stuff. But I like a lot of things. I like, I like a dance. I like electronic dancey, punky kind of mix of things. And then I, I,

I, but I like, yeah, I go to concert would be LCD to sound system, LCD sound system. I mean, I can't see some of the things like I can't see a David Bowie concert, but you know,

David LCD and arcade fire probably be my two favorite like live acts in recent times i always have a good time going to the both of those concerts yeah i mean i definitely and my like super like specific like spice girls just huge part of my life just imprinted in my brain where like i can listen to those songs and it brings me to a certain place. Like Chemical Romance, Old Eminem for sure. And then just all the Sondheims, William Finn, Bill Finn is my favorite musical theater composer, has some great songs.

And I'm gonna really try to get into LGBTQ sound system. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. We went from birth to funerals hopefully it's not too soon

no I'd like to you know I'd like to live longer but let me tell you if the funeral comes soon that's definitely gonna go back on the Patreon and

we're gonna record that and it'll be some Patreon exclusive Patreon exclusive we are not far from the day I'm sure it's been done I'm sure it's been done. I'm sure it's been done. Someone has turned the funeral into content.

Oh, God. That's how we live on forever now is just in content. So, again, to all our patrons, I hope you don't get too sad about the Patreon, but it just means our regular episodes are going to get even better. We're going to build this up, and then we'll either go back, or you'll be so happy with the regular that we won't need to. You know, Joe Rogan doesn't have a Patreon.

And Russell was just telling us today that's his favorite place to get medical information. 100%. Joe Marco. I've actually never even listened to Joe Rogan other than the clips that they circulate. So I posted this joke and it was a true story. Like I listened to Joe Rogan. He has stand up comedians on and he tells some funny comedy stories. And then also I'd never,

I'd always heard that Jordan Peterson was like problematic, but I have no idea what his things were. So I listened to like, you know, five minutes of that episode. So like, I always check out, I listened to everything,

but it was very funny because Tova and I were talking about Joe Rogan and we were like, you know, get into sexy time. And she said, uh, uh, she said, playedlexa played the

joe rogan experience and said resuming the joe rogan experience and we laughed so hard we laughed so fucking she was like resuming the joe rogan experience alexa's like you've heard every episode like well that's the the other thing where alexa tova like tova no music taste at all doesn't even know if she likes music but so well you're for for for a sexy time uh we will place like summer chill vibe or something but i went i just said play music and this is how i know alexa's not listening to our conversations or our lovemaking. I said, Alexa, play music. And Alexa said, playing X-rated R&B jams. How do you know she's not listening then?

Because there's no way that's what she'd suggest based on our sexual activities. But she knew you were having sex. If our sex has a playlist, it's like Christmas classics or like Christian country or Jewish or it'd just be like playing. But for it to suggest X-rated,

X-rated R&B jams. Because it knew you were having sex. But like, that's not, we're not having X-rated R&B. It should have been like family friendly R&B chants but producer Paige thank you Paige thank you so much

for doing this of course you've probably you're the second person other than me I've listened to every episode you've probably listened to close to every episode Russell's listened to three and then after that he's here for them he doesn't i'm here you've lived them you don't need to listen i hear i sometimes i drop in i peek in i like like just enough to just give me enough to give me a note about my interviewing skills or to give me a like a oh

why do you fucking do that in your life for myself good yeah yeah because then i don't have to um but thank you thank you to our listeners i have gifts ah yes um so the the story behind this gift is that it was um from like a segment on the podcast oh and then i made it into a gift oh my god i'm gonna um um oh wait let me let me let me take this oh great you can hand it we'll see it on the camera oh my god it says the downside but then turn it around at the same time ready this has got to stop the 2022 tour next comedy stop philly punchline laughy dicks, Laugh Hut, Waka Waka, Chuckle Shack, Bob's Giggle Dungeon. Oh my God, I love this so much. Comedy Killer Chuckle Festival presented by Funny Bones in the Closet.

That is so funny. That's a laughter sounds like Lodge. Tiki Tina's Tickle City, Tiki Tee Lounge. Now if you knew this was going to happen, you would have put a little more thought into these titles. I never imagined them on a shirt.

Oh, thank you so much. I thought that was like one of the most underrated bits from the show. And the first, like John Marcos sent me that clip just like on its own. And I was like crying, laughing. And I think that really, that's one of the hidden gems about the show. One of the hidden gems. You know, it'll come back. I think you could always do it. I think you should always. I think it's, especially if someone doesn about the show. One of the hidden gems, you know, it'll, it'll come back. You could always do it.

I think you should always, I think it's, especially if someone doesn't, I mean, like usually the guests have not heard the show. So we, if we had gotten Casey Cohen and I had done this list, there's no way she would have said like,

are those real? And we would have gotten to the end to just see if there was any even flinch in her face of like, what? I know, but I think it's worth doing once in a while. It is. I do. And I think the same list, the same list, the same list. And I think I of like, what? I know, but I think it's worth doing once in a while. It is. I do. And I think the same list,

the same list, the same list. And I think I, well, we can make several, but I will get better at, I, it is really hard.

You just rapid fire. Do it. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Walk, walk,

chuck, shack, comedy, killer, chuckle festival. Oh my God. Thank you so much. That's such a sweet gift.

So thank you everyone. Thank you. Thank you so much. That's such a sweet gift. So thank you everyone. Thank you. Keep listening to downside. Lots of good stuff. And now we have shirts and maybe, maybe this is, that will be the merch idea. Cause it's so beautiful.

I love it so much. Ladies, gentlemen, this is the downside. The Downside.