The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #74 Self-Aware with Josh Johnson

Episode Date: March 8, 2022

Josh Johnson joins to discuss growing up in 8 Mile 2 (Alexandria, Louisiana), why dating a comedian is like dating a stripper, using college gigs to get free clothing, and how to react when your friends who should not be having babies have babies.  You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Follow JOSH JOHNSON on instagram and twitter Listen to The Josh Johnson Show Podcast here Follow GIANMARCO SORESI on twitter, instagram, tiktok, & youtube Check out GIANMARCO SORESI's special 'Shelf Life' on amazon & on spotify Subscribe to GIANMARCO SORESI's mailchimp Follow RUSSELL DANIELS on twitter & instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Fawn Sullivan, Paige Asachika, & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello. Hi. Welcome to the downside with Joe Marcos. I am Joe Marcos. And I'm here with co-host Russell Daniels. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you, Joe Marco? You're good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I said like a question. Yes, I am good. Yeah. You're extra good. Extra good. I feel relief. I was very anxious all week. had my first cardiologist appointment in three years got some high blood pressure and um it was all good and when you first went was that the first time you're like oh fuck i got heart things i need to be concerned about yeah well basically i i was doing something like a normal like getting checked out for some sort of thing like a normal thing and they were like your blood pressure is this is in 2014 is astronomical like that's the word they used

well they were like they were like they kind of looked like you know like you should be like like fainting like how high it was and then and and it runs in the family and blah blah blah so um but i got put on medication and then it was like, I was with that. It was fine. But then COVID happened. So I haven't been in three years. And I like, and basically they were like, we're going to stop letting you have this pills for your blood pressure if you don't come and get a checkout.

Cause you know, you can only go so long. Yeah. So, but I get so anxious. I get like, it's, I don't have a lot of anxiety normally, like too much in my life. But I get so anxious when I'm at the cardiologist. Like I can feel my blood pressure go up. So he's very nice. He's a sweet, funny man.

And he just kind of sits with me and lets like, lets me kind of ramble and talk. And he just keeps taking it and taking it until it's normal. Until I like calm down. That's good. Yeah. And he keeps the thing on the whole time. Yeah. until I like calm down.

That's good. Yeah. And he keeps the thing on the whole time? Yeah. And sometimes it's like he doesn't, he's like, ah, the machine's not really,

like he's like, the machine is stressing you out because you know, they have a nice machines now. Sure. So he does it by hand because it gets better results. He does it by hand? He does the old fashioned like pump

with the like thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they have like electric ones now. You just put the cuff on i thought he's just like putting his hand in your forehead that's good no but the electric one makes noises and he can tell like that like sure yeah so um yeah so it was normal everything was good did all the tests you know ekg all that stuff well good it's good yeah i'm happy to hear it yeah because we're gonna be doing this for 30 more years. And I need you for all of them. Hopefully more than 30.

50. Oh, God. Will we be a country? We haven't worked out the contract yet. Will we be a country in 50 years? The downside can survive the fall of America. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. We're here today with a very special guest.

Was glad you could come. We work together a lot at the Comedy Cellar. He writes for The Daily Show. He's been on Comedy Central, Netflix, every comedy platform. Welcome, Josh Johnson. Welcome to The Downside. How's it going? Good.

Thank you for joining us. How's your health? Is it good? My health's pretty good. Quick question. Don't want to derail anything. No. Can I turn the volume down just a bit? Because I didn't want to interrupt your anything no can i turn the volume down my ear like just a bit because i

didn't want to interrupt your intro so sweet no russell's like my heart is great uh is this better this is amazing yeah this is well what a great way to start to do that too oh my jesus is this mine no oh my god no i think your number you got it yeah this is the downside One, two, three Downside Downside You're listening to The Downside The Downside With John Marcos and Ray Well your heart may be healthy

But a lot of things are not right now Yeah And that's why That's why we're here I'm very Russell This is new I got a bookshelf here

This is new This on the wall is new You're still sitting in the nice chair We have new this on the wall is new you're still sitting in the nice chair we have two more on the way but here's what happened and this is my this is my complaint

of the day so I got this chair for the podcast studio this feels like it's almost a podcast studio yeah I think once we have chairs

once we have chairs yeah and we're sitting just for people listening don't watch it on YouTube we are sitting on something but they're not very comfortable no

and I call Wayfair where i got these from kelly clarkson who's now the spokesman for wayfair i don't know how much money she needs that she needs to be the spokesman for it but they sent me the wrong color so then i got it reshipped then i got pushed back a month then i got pushed back two months and they and they and they said it's there we're just warehouse difficulties and finally got pushed back for like the they said it's there, we're just warehouse difficulties and finally got pushed back for like the third month in a row and I call and I'm,

listen, if I ever get canceled, it will be because they're always recording these customer service messages. Someone will make a compilation of all the times I yelled at just people whose fault it was not. But here's why I defend myself.

I called them. I said, this is insane. These chairs, are they ever coming? You say they exist, but they're never going to come. And the woman said, okay, you know what? I'm going to make a note to the warehouse letting them know you want it. Yeah, yeah.

So she did. Next day I get the email. It's going to be here in like two days. Okay. And so there's a certain degree of I'm an asshole and I'm rude on the phone and I'm obnoxious. But we have created a world where if you don't do that, you can't get the thing that you paid for. Yeah. I would not have gotten these chairs.

It would have been delayed month after month. And when she was telling me what she was going to write down in the note, I was like, what are you saying in this note that I wanted? So you think they're doing their work based on ranking of how much of an asshole someone is? Because otherwise you'd be just, I don't know when they'd get to you. I don't know. What's preventing it? It's there, right? Yeah.

The point is that they just needed to, what does that mean you needed to add a note yeah that's that's like that's like you order a starbucks coffee and then it doesn't come out for an hour so you say hey can i have my coffee and they go oh you wanted it great well we'll make sure you get it now that's insane yeah i can't believe you didn't do more cursing when she was like, you want it? Because that would have been, even though she was helping you and fixing your problem, it's like that would have been the moment to go off.

Like, I don't think anyone would have blamed you if you want it was like where you lost it. Even though it's the, and that's actually the most unfortunate thing is because it starts out, the corporate structure is built up specifically so you will never meet whose fault it is exactly then on top of that they they made it so that they padded themselves with person after person after person right so then they take the full brunt of their day and they hate their life and it's like that's

the structure but then when that person actually says something that's like infuriating you almost want to go off squared because you're like this isn't your fault but what you just said has exposed the entire like the entire structure behind you like it's almost as if this person on the phone had been like oh do you want the address of the guy who won't ship it to you yeah and then you're like yes i could have had that the whole time who won't ship it to you yeah and then you're like yes i could have had that the whole time i could have had that the whole time and then it's hard not to go off i wish there were more leaks of like i want to know the ceo of delta airlines i want his number i want to be able to harass him and ruin his family dinners by calling and saying what the

fuck is going on because But that's the problem. You have to deal with these people and it's not their fault, but I don't get the chair. My options are either I push or I don't get the chair. And that is, we have to figure this out

because there's just going to be more and more people like me who realize the only way to get through online, I had a different thing. I ordered these koozies. These koozies, I had a different thing. I ordered these koozies. These koozies. I've been waiting half a year for these koozies.

These jokes. These are merch koozies. Not like personal. I figured. Yeah. These beers are freezing my hand, leaving ring stains. And I called and they said, they're finally, they're shipping them out. I'm like, do you know when you're shipping them out?

And they're like, we don't know. And I was like. Wait, they said we're finally shipping it out. And then. I was like, and they said, we're finally shipping it out. And then, well, like, so they said, we're going to don't, we're going to ship it out. Then I waited a month, nothing. And I said, Hey, I just want to see, did they ship out? And they're like, Oh, not yet. And I was like, Oh, when do you think they will?

And they're like, we, it's impossible to know. And I said, I said, so, so how I said, I said, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do with that? Could it be a year? And they're like, we don't know. And I was like, well, that is unacceptable unacceptable and then next day they're both shipped both my koozie packages are shipped yeah this is not good yeah and i know how to do it because my dad was this complainer yeah like i i know how to i i will say you guys are stealing from me that's my new line

oh my you guys are stealing from me yeah because they are yeah but i feel guilty afterwards and i just don't know society it feels like it's just getting worse and worse in that direction yeah and i don't know what the solution is i am very different from you and uh you wouldn't have the chairs don't get my things you would say you know what the podcast is now a sit on the floor podcast um also i did have a customer service thing happen today. So when I went to the cardiologist, they did like the survey thing after your, like, how was your appointment? And so I went through and I did, I never do them, but I was like, I'll do it. Cause I had a good time with the doctor. And actually in the office, I'd had a problem in the past getting through the office, like when my

prescription needed to be renewed. So the doctor was like, I told him this, the appointment, he said, yeah, don't call the office. It's a nightmare. Here's my cell phone to like, just cut out the middleman, just go right to him. If I have an issue with the thing. So in the survey, I said, um, I gave everything great reviews except the, the, the front office. Like if you call it like calling the office but then the the receptionist called me today to ask what issues i had had in the i thought this was an anonymous survey and so she was you get a knock on the door hey what the fuck that's my system she goes hey so you put in the survey that that you had a poor experience calling our office um i just wanted to know more about that with your appointment.

And I said, oh, well, it wasn't my appointment. It was in the past when refilling prescriptions. And so she said, oh, so it didn't really apply to your recent appointment. Like being like, why did you do this in the survey? It was a very, and I was like, oh, no. Actually, this applies right now because I can feel the tone you're getting with me.

I feel like filling out another survey, actually. I thought this was anonymous. Like the person that I basically ratted on was like, why did you give me a bad score? Oh, man. Yeah, I was like, I didn't know. I won't be doing another survey again ever in the future because I didn't want that to happen again. Well, that's why I just feel like the only solution is, listen,'t want to say execute all the ceos in the world okay because that's not legal to say i don't think to like really call well then there'll be new ones but i want ceos to to have to take those calls

you have to like have a deal what you want the show undercover boss but for undercover boss but like it's not like fun and it's not cute it's like you suffer doordash does this thing where everyone in the company is supposed to do one delivery a month oh you know what the thing is the problem with those things because i worked at aldi for a while okay and aldi has a program where if you no matter what they hire you as i think you have to do one week as each thing so even if you, no matter what they hire you as, I think you have to do one week as each thing. So even if you're going to be a district manager, right, you have to have a week as a cashier and then a week as a shift manager,

then a week as a store manager. And then no week as CEO, by the way, no week of like enjoy being the CEO of the fucking company. You have to like, so then it's in order to have that big position you have to do a week as those other positions to know what it's like but to me that's also like not enough and when you do that nobody like everyone knows that you're on that track so you get a very different experience it's like if the boss's son became an intern it's like he's not getting treated like any other intern.

So then the week, the one week that you are a cashier, all the cashiers know you're going to be their boss in like a month. So it's not the same like you're actually in the trenches like getting spit on or coughed on or whatever. You're actually like, oh, hey hey do you want to do this while i do this and it's like in real life if you were just a cashier for good no one would ask you that they'd be like go do the thing you're like all and then all the way up your bosses are nice to you so when you guest at a store as a cashier for like a week that that store manager knows you're

going to be his boss in three weeks. So then even he's like, and we usually do it like this. And like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's not talking to you like a regular boss. So it's like you,

the, the undercover boss of it that I've always liked about the idea of that show is that they could actually buy a random customer be spit on. Like, it's like, it's like they could get the full immersive experience of what it's like to work at whatever company they have by being like undercover because then they would also tell us sure i remember someone told me they were like oh yeah this isn't like i met she did a

different store for her cashier week but then her store manager week she was like touring our store and so someone was telling me about it and i'm'm like, I shouldn't even know this is happening. I'm obviously going to treat her different. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, like this is crazy.

I like explaining that I would be cursing at her way more. I'd be treating her like shit. Well, I just mean like, I'm going to be treating her really nice, like extra night. Of course. I was always nice to my coworkers,

but I wasn't so nice that it was like for something like, it's like this very well me be my district manager in two months so it's like whatever impression i leave has to be good because they're your future boss even though right now they're like a subordinate or on the same level as you so it's like most of those those things that people even try to do still have so much cushioning socially in there that you almost can't you almost have to just be an undercover boss sure for for a month every year and no one ever knows when you're gonna do it no like when you're doing it they they actually say you're like in vacation yeah

so then they'll tell people that call the office hey he's in vacation right now don't bother him right but then you're actually kind of doing the DoorDash thing. But as someone that nobody knows, so it's not your district, it'll just be like some part of town where you're doing a shift and no one knows. And that's the only way you'll know. Yeah.

Every other effort is like weirdly still protecting you in your own structure of a company and maybe that's why i don't i think especially for like airlines or for travel things i feel about this about the new york mayor of for sure where i'm like you should have to take the subway everywhere you go everyone you should have to take the subway because you if the undercover thing doesn't always work it's just like you have to deal with the product that you are. If Delta, if you have your own private jet, go fuck yourself. That is insane.

You should have to use your airlines and only airlines. And when there's a cancellation, you miss the merger deal. And you get a coupon for $12. It's like when a cook is like, I don't eat here. You're like, oh no what yeah yeah like i've been at at like restaurants my friends have worked at and then you know because i'm friends with my friend who's a server or something i end up meeting the line cook or meeting you know i mean just meeting people in the kitchen and then every once in a while like it especially when i lived in louisiana

every once in a while somebody would be like, no, I don't eat there. And I'm like, why? And it's never because they're sick of the food because they've eaten it so much. It's always like something harrowing that you find. It's like, oh no, there's like a rat's nest in the back and we keep calling the exterminator, but they never come. So it's always that stuff.

I think it's funny. Now working at the comedy side, it's been a little different. But before, some of the venues I'd work, they'd be like, oh, you're performing there? Well, come see a show. And I was like, no. Don't, no. Don't come to this particular place.

That's very funny. Don't, no. Don't come to LOL to see me. Someday. Let's hope I'm passing. Poor LOL. Poor LOL, man. We get a lot of shout outs on the show. I'm sure they appreciate the press.

Well, let's uh start with louisiana then because i don't know anything i mean you love new orleans but i've heard you say that new orleans isn't necessarily indicative of louisiana where in louisiana did you grow up alexandria so like not new orleans at all and the middle of the state where nothing is happening it's like once our military base closed it was like downhill uh so when did it close like 90 was it 95 it closed when i was a little so i actually remember i have like vague memories of like a bustling city and then ever since then even now like if we all three of us went now, you'd be like, wow,

Josh, I had no idea you were in eight mile too. Yeah. I mean like you, you'd be like, this is, this is insane. You know,

like there are parts, there are parts of it that are very nice. Yeah. So I can't act like those parts don't exist. But what I will say about that is that even now when I travel, I only ask my broke friends how places are because rich people will make any place dope yeah they have money you know so then you go around alexandria and it's like so much of it is trash and then you hit these like nice parts and you're

like oh is this even the same place but it's like oh no but that's where the doctors and the dentists live i see so it's like of course that's gonna be good um but yeah it's just i don't know family's still there nah nah everybody's well i have some family there but uh most of my family is in um georgia now which is much easier it's great yeah yeah it's much easier to travel um get easy flights cheaper flights atlanta yeah from here it takes it from here it takes at least two flights for me to get to alexandria and they're not good flights and there's only like you literally like the stars have to align for you to get home it's insane i'm learning so much more about geography because of college gigs.

And like, I'm really like learning more. Like you find out places that there's no airport near them. You just start like, I'll get gigs sometimes and you're like, oh great, cool. College gig, 1500 bucks, whatever. And then you're like,

oh, this airport has two flights a year. You have to fly to Boise and then take a three hour drive. Some of these colleges too, I'm like, oh, this airport has two flights a year. You have to fly to Boise. And then take a three-hour drive. Some of these colleges, too. I'm like, oh, these poor parents having to visit their... I would never visit my kid if it was this far away. They're not even getting paid to visit their kid. Yeah, it's brutal.

It's like when I started dating my girlfriend, I would bring her back usually like a T-shirt from where i had been because it was like that's the gift i'm figuring that out yeah she well she's also from australia so like at at the beginning there was like a novelty to it um because maybe i go to chicago or i go to la or whatever right but then when i started doing more college stuff there's no like nobody wants a normal illinois shirt and that's actually what what let me know where my career was at the time because i was like wow this shirt first of all the shirt was hard to find so people from here don't make a shirt for here and then i'd bring it back and she was like as sweet as she is she'd be like you don't need to bring me a t-shirt every time like it was like that's like which is the sweetest way to say i don't need like um a kranzit arkansas shirt you know

i mean it's like okay that's fair that's fair but that's the easy get i'm figuring out i'm trying to do gifts every weekend i'm away for my girlfriend and that's that's like oh you're like the gifts are like the gift shops like because it's a college is that what you're saying yeah different yeah the college or the airport i'm having a hard time imagining like like you said like where i would even find a t-shirt with the town's name on like what yeah but that's the thing like when i was in hawaii they had hawaii candles but like if you go to south dakota there's no south dakota. You wouldn't want to light that. Who knows what that smell is. It smells like rocks. Also, what you should do,

you can also cut this out if you want because you don't want to give it away. Oh, sure. You should, when you finish the school, just ask for one because they'll usually just hand you one. You don't need to buy anything at their gift shop. Just ask them

because they're so excited that you're there. They'll'll they'll run and get you one yeah i mean like i gotta or even put it in your rider yeah like even if you put in the rider of like i need a full wardrobe from this i want the sweatpants like a big fan of you know i mean like i would love my whole wardrobe was just random colleges small small satellite colleges specialty colleges yeah that's where you know we're like my college performing career is that it's like this this college is just for people who study microbiology of anteaters you're like okay that's the college i'm performing i did a college one time that was just a um technical college but it wasn't like regular technical it was technical in that the only

subject there were only like eight majors at the college and they were all the most advanced forms of the science that they had so it's like when you say technical college people think like welding plumbing whatever yeah this was like i don't even know why technical is in the name because it was like clearly a prestigious like math and science university right yeah but then i go there i do the show and then the students want to like take us out to eat afterwards and the students are telling us about a hierarchy i could not have imagined where basically the bio majors are the bottom and then chemistry majors are right on top of them and everyone else bullies them they call them they call they call them kimmies and they will slap the books

out of their hand so imagine what are they doing at the top what are they what are they so proud of i think at the top are like your actual full-on like rocket scientists and then you're uh and then there's um what was it there was one of them that was like i mean basically the person who would splice together like people with animals i don't even know what the name of the major is but basically there was like there was a bio version that was like higher but then the bio people that were this kid said this to me at the dinner right yeah he was like because like the bio majors it's like that's barely science man with a straight face like that's barely like like completely justified whatever mistreatments they're not telling me about like imagine getting hazed but like at a school of

nerds so it's it's not even like like if any of these kids went to another college they would be the chemis yeah but then and chemistry by the way like chemistry of all things they're like the chemis are a joke and it's like whoa it. I don't know if they see you as the comedian and the bio and chemist are like, finally, we're going to bully the shit out of this kid. He doesn't know anything. Well, I volunteered. I was like, yeah, you realize there's dumber people. Hit this out of my hand. Yeah.

You deserve one. There's dumber people in the world than the people who got into this school and are going to go. And then also, by the way the the bio and kim majors are going to go on to be successful so it's not as it's not like there was okay so there was one at the table who was a little like you could tell was just swallowing it because they knew they were outnumbered yeah but i was even talking to them at one point and they were like oh yeah i'm gonna go to uh so i'm a senior this is my last semester because i guess they were going to graduate early because they're even that smart to like graduate early in the technical anyway so then they were like

yeah i took a job with exxon for about like 120 so i think that's a good start and i was like this is the kids you're bullying that's why they're like i don't care about destroying the earth yeah kill all these and I was like, this is the kids you're bullying. That's why they're like, I don't care about destroying the earth. Kill all these bullies on this planet. I just want my money. 100%. I remember when my friend,

he went to Stanford for business, and them just talking about just making six figures right out of college. Just being like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. I love... You making six figures at your job.

No. Okay. Yeah. What do we, what a weird, I love that you thought. You're very squeamish about money. I love to just put it out.

I got $700 for this gig. I got. Because they see it all goes back into this podcast studio. They're going to see the wealth here. They're going to go, something's going right for Joe Margo. He got a new bookshelf and then it's broken the next time. This episode is brought to you by A Real Pain.

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yeah this might not have anything to do with anything that's what's great i think that my main thing that's been bothering me a lot for maybe like especially the past two years because pandemic life has changed the trajectory of all of it and how we focus on it i think i'm uh done with people who like announce their dating standards because they're lying they're of course they're always lying like it's it's never actually i won't say that can you give an example of like not a real person yeah but when people are like uh you know i just want like a cool person that's like like whenever they make themselves sound ridiculously reasonable i'm like no don't no because also they'll act like i don't know them so it's like i remember

the last three partners you had so i know that's a lie uh-huh yeah i mean and then it's i think i i especially feel for it with like the people i feel for it the most with i think are like female comics because what happens in the world don't get russell started on female comics my god but i'm saying like what what happens in the world right is that we as comedians just do we do we do our thing and people come and watch us and they like us don't like us whatever whatever the thing is what ends up happening is that outside looking in you'll always have a dude that's like man i just want a girl that's like chill that can hang give it and it's like no one can hang like like a like a female comic is the best hang you're gonna get if we're talking

about hanging out and joking around on something like that but then they start dating a comic and then she comes and then she's hanging out with your friends and she's a better hang than you and now you can't handle it so now you're like hey this is my friend you should be making my friends laugh at the barbecue that's my job and then and then people don't actually want it it goes the same way with uh with a lot of women to male comics because like like a lot of people will be like i just want like a lot of even some of my female friends do it they'll be like i just want a guy that's like cool and funny and everything it's like all right first of all first of all you're gonna make whoever you're attracted to

funny that's what's gonna happen sure that's that i can't tell you how many times knowing that i do comedy a friend of mine will be like you should meet my boyfriend he's so funny and then this is the blandest the just the other way around or just women to man because i feel like if i'm with uh if i'm with a woman who's not funny i'm not i can't i can't fake it i i don't fake it i don't like like there's some this is a thing of that's so detached about attraction to me is that because men are more like visually stimulated when it comes to attraction then there's just going to be things that we're like no matter how rude it seems or no matter how odd it comes off we're just going to be like oh no i know this is

like even a bad person but they're a hot person sure whereas if you're a bad person especially if you're a bad person to a woman you will become less hot to her eventually so i've known women who are like in the beginning they're like oh he's so cute or whatever then he does like two three things and they like don't see him the same way and that doesn't make sense to me because i'm like he has the same face see i think i'm more more like the the woman in this scenario i remember there was a show where there were some hecklers yeah these two very attractive women were heckling and i was with lucas connelly and jp mcdade and they were they were like and they after the show i wish i was there what a hang they were the kind of hecklers who like afterwards like

came up and like sorry sorry it was really funny and they were the kind of hecklers who like afterwards like came up and like sorry sorry it was really funny and they were like kind of flirting and whatever and i was yeah stone i said they they tried to hug me and i said don't touch me yeah and jp and lucas they said i don't think it's being on a turn they were like oh we would have totally hooked up with them and had they been interested and i was like i wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole. Yeah. My dick. I wouldn't give them the, the, the pleasure,

the joy of being with me. Not in a million years. But, but how, how old are you? 33. That's like a 33 year old thing to say. I feel like a 23 year old.

You might've been like, ah, yeah, I could see that. I can see that, but I've always, you're pretty sensitive to like getting like something like that like a heckler like uh that enrages you uh you know i feel like any kind of i'm not hooking up with any heckler yeah but i think i think for instance if if we can take heckling out of it for a second

because this this is the thing that i think is is what's so odd about it is that as men and women we treat the thing we the same we just don't arrive to the same conclusion at the same time so like i will i will see people have like uh let's see the best example i can give i guess is that i think that there are people regardless of gender that are shallow but honest and we usually punish those people so then people who are like oh i just want like a tall guy who has like a big dick or whatever or if it's like oh no i just want like you know a pretty girl with some big tits it's like we call them shallow but they're the only people being honest about their standards yeah anyone who anyone who's like going into like all this esoteric stuff usually they they that means

they're either settling when you finally see them with someone because then the things they said they want to partner are the same things that they end up complaining about in the relationship yeah so it's like so you didn't get it well that's the thing with like all there's a lot of like people who really lean into like dating comedy and it's always like well you pick these people yeah you you picked it's like you keep complaining about the restaurant that you keep going to yeah despite there being other restaurants so there's just there's a hypocrisy to the whole the whole thing i felt that way when because like uh because my wife and i met on on tinder and i feel like sometimes you talk to people about any sort of dating app thing and

they'll have story after story nightmare stories and they'll be like i just keep meeting crazy people and you're like well but then do a little bit of work before you go out with a psychopath like do it like it you have a little bit of a responsibility in this thing to, to, to figure out, you know, like it just, it just feels like,

yes, like you're setting yourself up if you're just agreeing to every single thing and not doing any sort of homework. I mean, I'll tell you right now, one of the most, like it was, it made me laugh out loud.

It was over the weekend, a friend of mine, just like so astutely just pinned herself to like what the problem is because she was kind of talking about like not dating woes but i was just we were talking about like dating in general right yeah and just like the unconventional ways people have to meet now and just like just like the like there's a point in the pandemic where you were like this okay i'm gonna go out i'm gonna try to get laid but this could be a death lay like they they could they could because

especially when we didn't know much about the pandemic in general and we just thought young people couldn't get it and would be okay like remember that point sure when we started finding out people in their 30s were dying and you still went to like essentially have a one-night stand because there's really no reason to be going to someone's apartment at midnight when you can't like you you're not bringing a picnic with you you know i mean so then we're all like so isolated and horny that there are people who are just like i guess i'm gonna risk it and it's like so we were having that conversation and then she was basically like yeah i think a lot of my dating problems are because right now i'm only ever attracted to interesting people and right now

the most interesting people to me are like mentally ill and i was like whoa like you know how much therapy regular people have to go to to end up that that conclusion and then she just like laid it out like immediately she was just like it was almost like an afterthought to her where she was we had been talking for like maybe 15 minutes and then she finally like you could tell she was thinking sure looked up and she was like yeah i think i was like wow very funny wow that's incredible i would attach that to like i think especially dating tova like i think i really understood how much a sense of humor or being funny is part of what i'm like attracted to but i think humorous people come with anxiety come with like i do think there's versions of that that we all have the thing that we're attracted to it does come with these

yeah yeah it comes with caveats that are that are are not always like seeing like the thing about dating a comedian is that nothing especially if you're a working comic nothing about what we do is actually healthy of course so like so even every comic will tell you they'll tell me all the time you got to let your girl know comedy's number one you love comedy more than her and i'm like are you out of your mind you think i'm gonna go i going to go admit that to my... Why would you volunteer that information? To no one that asked. Yeah.

And then... Let me come up with an arbitrary ranking system that's unnecessary to make you feel like number two. Yeah. And then on top of that, there's nothing that's actually... Okay, the best way I can describe dating a comic is like we go out, we go to clubs, we do our thing, and that's sometimes even how we meet our partners, right? So then we are, like, comedians are like strippers, right?

So you see me, you see me doing my thing, you like what you see, everything. Then you're, like, attracted to me, maybe even because I do it. everything then you're like attracted to me maybe even because i do it then we're hanging out and there's a point where you know once we're together a lot of people will be like yeah but you would quit stripping for me though right it's like nah i strip this is what i do i agree yeah and it's like that's a tough that's a tough thing to to reconcile with on top of the fact that in order to be good at comedy, you have to be deeply self-aware. And you have to be – depending on the type of comedy you do, but for the most part, you have to be deeply analytical. And those two things lose their luster almost immediately because a self-aware person will also lay something out to you that you aren't ready to like so a self-aware person the same way that they can take themselves apart essentially and break down why they did something

or why they are the way they are maybe they can probably do that to you and maybe you didn't sign up for that so it's a very different conversation if i'm talking to my friend and i'm like from all the stories that you've told me it kind of sounds like you're attracted to interesting people and right now for you the most interesting people are mentally ill that's a very different thing to say to someone than to have someone say about themselves yeah you know it's like one is wow i want to know more about your journey and one is we're not friends anymore sure sure and i. And I think with my current girlfriend, we're both. I consider her a comedian, even though she has, to me, very much a comedian's mind. She's in the world as well.

What was that? She's in the world as well. Yeah. So she, like, she. Oh, fuck, Russell. Your camera fucking died. I'm going to figure out with my phone. Okay.

Yeah, she's of the world. But she just, like, so we so we both i think have that analysis about each other and that's why we we can we can see it and have like tough conversations because of it yeah yeah whereas that's why but i need to be with another comedian because i think if you're not sometimes you feel like it's one-sided in a way you have have this tool. I think that it can be, but it depends on what the other person does and what their mind is like. Because there are plenty of people

who have comedic minds that aren't funny. So then it's like, that thing is still kind of the same to me. I think a deeply analytical person in a different way will still fulfill that. Even though they won't really get why it's so frustrating that this callback didn't work

tonight i think they'll still get why you need comedy sure yeah i mean like i i think that at the end of the day that that basis is the biggest thing and i think that for a lot of comedians i guess one thing i will say is that in all of my dealings with friends, acquaintances, everything, the types of people that I personally don't see running around saying dating standards are comedians. I feel like I don't catch comedians at all doing that thing. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. Beggars can't be choosers. And even past that, there's something like the self-awareness it takes because this is my biggest pet peeve with it this is what gets me upset when people talk about their

dating standards and what they would like all it is is a checklist of dope stuff yeah no one you never hear anyone go i need someone who is very patient because i can be a lot sure that's what i think i think that we always talk about what you want. And I'm more about like, what can you handle? All human beings are flawed. What flaws can you handle? And like, I think I can handle anxiety because I'm anxious. So I know what that is.

So I know how to like respect it in someone else. And it's so like, sometimes I think we always go about it as, I want this out of a person, I want this out of a person, as opposed to like, here are the flaws that I am able to take along with all the good things that a person can be. I mean, I'll even, you know, I'm not saying names, so they'll never know. But I'll even volunteer this.

I had a friend who was like, know i want a dude that and it was it was a not only a long list of both superficial things and like um like deeply character driven things that someone would only get to after like years of working on themselves but when she finished the list i was like let's be honest though why would why would that person want to be with you because because like this is a you listed a dope person but you cheat so it's like why do you just want to ruin a person like that sounds like a great part i would tell that person to run from you yeah yeah i mean and so it's it's like that thing of acting like you know first of all what you want and what you need are going to be two different things and then you're never going to know till you're in it

so then when people the like almost alongside with what we started talking about uh i actually feel like so many people treat dating like a lot of companies especially like retail companies treat hiring because it's like people can talk a big game you won't know till you hire the person so stop making it some big deliberation because they can either move grapes or they can't move grapes they're either going to show up on time or they won't and then you're you're in it so no matter how much you deliberate and and you like i got a really good feeling off of this person from this interview or whatever this date whatever you're not gonna know until you're in it so like you you over analyzing it

is just feeling like you can control it which you can't because it's another person you know and it's like that that whole thing of like this is what i'm looking for this you can't because it's another person, you know? And it's like that, that whole thing of like, this is what I'm looking for. This is what I need. It's like, all right, I bet you there's three other qualities that can throw that,

that throw like a wrench in those gears and you take that other person. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like, I need, you know,

I need someone who is a good listener, really sweet, um, very driven, you know, um, very driven, you know, just ambitious and everything, or Margot Robbie. I think that's why I was skeptical about dating apps to begin with,

because it feels like, I always felt like we, you can't tell until I'm there with the person. I just feel like it has to be done in the wild. Like what do you, what's going to be more accurate ordering off a menu or you walk by a table with every entree and you get to see it? How many times does the other person order something and you're like, oh, fuck, that's what I wanted.

You don't know until it's there. Can I pitch you this, though? Because I had a friend who was like, I'm done with the apps. I'm getting off all the apps. I'm deleting everything. And I was like, you know, the apps, the real people are in the apps so now you're just gonna meet them all slower like like it's not like you didn't you didn't get away from any they're not only in your phone so now you're just gonna not know when they're in proximity to you i'm not

saying the apps are great but i i also think we get the worst versions of ourselves on each app for sure but to your point i did not know how to pitch myself at all oh yeah i mean it was dreadful i had my my roommate this guy named torrence when you say pitch you mean first message pictures everything like everything just the online i didn't know what i was how to present myself i wanted to be funny i guess yeah but like especially when it comes to like sex like pictures like being sex well yeah i think my picture was like, I was wearing a tank top. I look good, but I was in an airport bathroom when I took it. It was all wrong. It was all wrong.

I had a headshot on there. That's terrible. That's real bad for him. You cannot have a headshot. No, you can't. Okay, but do you think then, because this is the other part of of uh being on them and using because this this also falls in line with the standards thing because then people put their standards in their bio or in their first message or depending on how the app works depends on what they project to the

world that they're looking for in someone right um i feel like all of those instances except for some of the instances of the pictures you post of yourself are also situations people would have seen you in like it's literally all the same it's just packaged differently so then i know that i pick my first five pictures on whatever dating app, but they are pictures of me that a person could have been there for unless they're like, you know, specifically like airport bathroom or something like that. But then outside of that, it's like, okay, a picture of me with my friends hanging out on a camping trip, a picture of me on stage to let people know I do comedy, whatever the thing is. And so I just think that there's no right way all of it is about

diving in and i think that setting apart standards and then setting apart like how you meet the people is just a a way of trying to feel like we can control it when we we really just don't a lot of people can't help who they're attracted to as well. Of course. How tall are you? I'm 5'8". What do you think about the tall guy discord? There feels like there's been a very kind of like, everyone feels very comfortable being like, short guy, tall guys only. Now there's like a short king renaissance, I guess.

Yeah. You know what it is? It's honestly the two groups that i feel like understand each other the most and have it really rough in dating are like um uh short men and big women because both of especially for straight people both groups that are the opposite have no problem openly shitting on them and being like don't be this you know i mean and it's it's a thing that if it was any other group or if it was any other type of person we would see how like monstrous it is like it's like it's like literally kind of evil uh and and for some reason it's like acceptable i think the two the two reasons that it's persisted and and it like seems feel like it feels acceptable in polite society are just because those are like

those are two situations in life where you can probably still be okay but then people get very blatant like it's almost like a group think that if we can all be blatant about this thing it's all right you know sure and I feel like not this this might sound more spiteful than i mean for it to sound uh but it's why sometimes i don't feel bad for people when they get themselves into a pickled dating situation wise because i'm like if one of your things is just tall then like yeah you're gonna get what you're gonna get like like like if one of your like i i guarantee you west elm caleb wouldn't have happened if he was short um let's go on to our next segment this has got to stop this has got to stop do you have a thing

that's got to stop for us josh other than making lists of things you want out of a partner um okay Um, okay. There's no way that I don't come off like the worst curmudgeon. But like, this is the downside of it. This is the right place for it. I don't know if I can fully get on board with, there's a, there's a, how do i put it there's an instinct to be excited for everyone that's about to have a kid and we can't do because i know like it like it not you but you as an example it's like if i know you and i know you're like out of your mind. I can't just keep helping everyone lie to you that this is great news. But it's like there's nothing to be done.

You're either proposing abortion, which is a big proposition. Or it's like it's gonna happen i remember i know this is as i hope i hope john mulaney is doing fantastically and i'm the biggest fan but it was very funny on seth myers he goes to seth myers and it's like he's been four months since the four months out of rehab and he's announcing that he's now going to be a dad and the general thing you have to do is just go like oh congrats but like what's the other option to be like oh what are you gonna do i think we're stuck i think we're stuck with this problem i think we're stuck if we're trying to be polite about it i think what the thing is to do is the

thing you did i think that if someone if someone is like if someone is like a lunatic and they're like oh yeah i've been dating for someone two days and she's pregnant i i'm gonna be like oh no what are you gonna do because that's a much more because that's what i'm thinking as well and i don't know if i give them anything by pretend because you know what what else it does inadvertently it makes it no person feels the same way about everything and no group feels the same way about everything and so there are going to be people that help color the experience by being like um oh, are you okay? Or like whatever that thing is. Because some things are a bad idea. And I think that it's weird that for some people,

it's a bad idea and we act like it's a good idea out of politeness. But at least one person, whether it's because they know you really well or they don't know you at all, at least one person in your life should be honest with you when you're making a huge mistake or when you're like or when you haven't thought something through because i'm not saying that there's anything for us to do i'm just saying that like oh hey all right just so you know that's

gonna like change your whole life so your so your whole life is different now it's even different right now kid's not here yet and your life's different now because the kid will always be about to be here until the kid is here and then they're your kid forever and i think that there's not enough like weight put on it it's like if if if you knew i was in debt yeah and then i was like hey hey my man check this out and then i from under my from under my shirt i pull out the biggest chain you've ever seen and i'm like 100 grand right here you wouldn't be like that's great buddy but i feel like what did you do the receipt and a baby is i would i i think the response would be like how pregnant how? How long in? How far in?

What state do you live in right now? Even questions are better. Even questions are better than just like, great. But if your question is like, what's the legal amount of time before you can get an abortion? That's the first question. See, I feel like finding my natural thing isn't even like faking a congrats. I feel like if I was being honest, it's more indifference. I've had friends that got pregnant and I did the congratulations

thing and then forgot and then four months later saw them and they're like, oh my god, I forgot they were pregnant just because it doesn't register in my mind. Well, because I'm like, oh, they're doing their own life. You know me. You know my life is so do it right now. So my life.

He knows my life. And I'm a bit of a messy person. But I. So if I said. Russell. Russell. Big news. Kill it now.

I wouldn't. No. I wouldn't. I wouldn't hesitate with you. I wouldn't. With you. I would be like. You'd say kill it now.

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I don't know that many people. The people that I know that have had kids are. I was expecting it. Is what I'm saying. Like in my life or their cousins that I'm like, don't have much of a relationship to.

I haven't had the experience yet of like someone in, I mean, I have one friend in New York that had a baby. That's the only person that I know in New York that's had a baby. Yeah. You know? So that I'm like, but what would you say?

Truly? What would you say? I, I, I would say, are you, I would ask you if you're, if I would ask you what the options are. If I could.

Russell. Oh, you're going to be excited. Okay. Russell. Guess what? Tova and I are having a baby. You know, I would say congrats. I would.

See? You fucking liar. It would be wrong. It would be wrong. What would you say you you only know me so well but if i came to the cellar to a 2 a.m spot on a saturday i just joe was pregnant i don't know what your financial situation or a bunch of other things are so i i would be like oh okay so like i would more ask questions about if you were going to stay in new york because i feel like that's also a thing that you say so when are you moving kind of like yeah like i think that it's a very it's a very distinct decision to stay here and have a kid i know people who got pregnant and knew they were moving as soon as they realized they were pregnant because

they were like i can't raise a kid here i've seen've seen too much. I think I've seen too much as an adult to raise a kid here with fresh eyes that I don't. Have you seen any comics at the cellar? Like they have their baby and they start bringing it to the comics table with the baby. I've never seen a baby in the cellar, I don't think. I think that then also goes back to self-awareness. Sure. I think that I don't know a comic that's a seller comic that wouldn't recognize that bringing their baby to the comics table would completely kill the vibe. It would be interesting for four minutes and then it would be a huge bummer. I think that's too long.

They would also, if they did do it, they'd have to sit on the outside of the booth so that they could easily get up yeah because if they're in the middle of the booth and now three people got to move because the baby like like the baby actually shit at the table and someone's trying to have like their chicken cutlet and the baby and you can just smell it and you can't not smell it right away just because they leave it's like it's too much yeah and and we smell enough as it is as comedians and so i i honestly think i would i would be like um oh wow so what like i would almost get a read from you since i don't know your situation as much yeah i'm more talking about people who i know and you know there's such a fallacy that like sort of love is all you need and all this stuff like that and it's like i know people who i'm like right now you shouldn't i can't control you i wouldn't try to but outside looking in right now that's a bad idea so then if they told me i'd be like oh

oh like one of my best friends uh had a pregnancy scare and i wasn't like congratulating anything i was just like so what are y'all gonna do and he was like well you know we're gonna we're gonna wait out the next like day because this might be a false whatever yeah and then sure enough it was it was like they only took one pregnancy test and then they needed to they didn't have another one to take and then they took another one the next day and it was like, but I was like very much like, what are y'all going to do? I was always, when I was dating, I always wore condoms. But once I was with someone and they, I mean, it's probably bad what they did. They took it off in the middle.

I didn't have much time to really give it a lot of thought. But like, I could never. That sounds real bad. Yeah, it was real bad. It was real bad it was real bad it was real bad if i wasn't like immediate like oh okay i guess this is yeah yeah but so yes real bad for sure yeah but i remember this is how i know i could never have dealt with pregnancy scares it was terrifying because she she was she lived in in london and so she went back to london and I would check her Instagram stories because I was so nervous that maybe she got pregnant.

And I would check her Instagram stories and the moment I saw her drinking a martini a couple months later, I was like, oh, thank God. She's either not pregnant or a very bad mother. But that's like what I was, that's like the anxiety I felt just from that one time

would be enough for me to wear condoms forever. Oh, this was your hookup or was this a friend's? Oh, a friend's hookup. Okay, gotcha, gotcha. And I just, it was like the one time I had unprotected sex and I was like, oh my God, she, she. Oh, but you didn't talk about this thing with her. Like you didn't tell, like you didn't express to her that you were worried that she might be pregnant no because it was like a one it was

like a two-night stand thing okay so yeah yeah got you got you and uh uh you know yeah i i don't live in london lived in london a jew jewish lady in london came over here for just. Came over here to take the condom off. To see some LOL. It was an LOL hookup. Did she take the condom off? Yeah, no, no. That's what I'm saying. She took the condom off.

And so. She was on top. She like got up really quick. Took it off. Went back down. And I'd say I had about.7 seconds. That's pretty bad. To decide.

Because then you can't even like hip swing to get it out of the way. You're like, that's pretty bad because then you can't even like hip swing to get to get it out of the way you're like that's yeah that well you know it's also like i don't know was it like like were you thinking about that in the moment they're like she took the condom off yeah it happened it just happened so fast and then it was it was was immediately too late for me to change my mind. The deed had been done. And then it was, having used a condom for so long, it was quite nice. And so I think in my head, I'm doing very quick math of like, well, there's already been three pumps. Might as well get the next two in and be done with it it it also is so it

would be so wild if she took that condom off and then you were like uh wow this is like the same yeah this is put the condom back on this is like like what's this isn't worth the risk now this is the same that'd be insane that be like, it would be so easy to be a responsible person after that because then, even from that one instance, you'd be like,

guys, it's the same. Yeah. All right. Sadly, it was very much not the same. It was, it is uncomfortable

how much not the same it is. It's like, it feels, you know, it actually feels like, because, just from the world, I'm only talking about like,

from a broad, like if you were an alien and you were looking down the world and you're watching human behavior it just like like dick to vagina is just not even is is just is just not even close because even i feel like my friends like my friends who are gay still don't do the dumb things for other men that i see men do for women when they're like in it when they're like oh i just want to get to the you know i mean yeah so that that's actually what makes me think dick must not be worth as much because my all my gay friends are just much more sensible people even as sexually driven people right so then i'm like that doesn't seem fair

but then it's like well what in like what could be switched and i feel like it would be weed i feel like people should have weed in between their legs and you should be able to smoke pussy like that would be a better world to me because then i feel like i've met people who are like yeah i smoked weed once and it was like I'm like, a drug shouldn't be fine. A drug should be better than that. And that's part of why marijuana isn't seen as a drug. Cause it's like, not only is it sometimes just fine,

but it's like a natural comes from the earth and everything. But also it's like impossible to get addicted. You should be able to get addicted to weed the way that you can get addicted to vaginas. Like, I feel like if it was weed people would be making much more rational decisions uh-huh if they got to have sex with weed because then they'd be like guys it's fine you don't even get addicted yeah it's like natural

but it's not even whereas like then you go smoke pussy and you're like guys this is this is wild i like the idea of smoking smoking some puss i feel like you with a pipe you put one thumb on the asshole just to like all right uh uh let's go to our final segment you better count your blessing you better count your blessing uh You better count your blessing. Russell, do you have a blessing for us today? Just a quick, easy one. My blessing is Dr. Schwartz giving me...

It was nice of a doctor in New York City to give me his cell phone number to reach him directly if I need to be with the anxiety that I have around that sort of thing. So that's... And you're not a call abuser. You're going to... No, I'm never going to call. It would only be if around that sort of thing. So, uh, that's, uh, you're not a call abuser. You're gonna, no,

I'm, I'm never going to call it. Like it would only be if it's a prescription thing. I think you, I think you could be dying and you'd be like, I can't bother. Yeah. No,

I think so. But I thought that was lovely. Dr. Schwartz, Dr. Schwartz, that doesn't really narrow it down for doctors. So,

uh, shout out to you wherever you are. Um, my blessing, uh, we had a, Alex Brightman was a guest of ours. He's a Broadway performer.

Yes. And he told this story about, he thought he got a death threat from someone at the stage door. He ended up deleting his Instagram. She was banned from the theater. Security took her away. All this stuff.

And we always, yeah. What? Oh, no, go ahead. Oh yeah. Well,

we didn't, it seemed like it might have been a misunderstanding. Yeah. And he said that as much too, but it was a scary thing. And she, my girlfriend recently found her on Twitter. She came forward, this woman saying that she had accidentally been just joking, making jokes on Instagram and ended up getting banned from the Schubert Theater, getting contacted by high-level security. And so it was a very cool bookend to this story to see this poor little girl.

Seeing her, I was like, oh, you poor thing. You just thought you were making a cute joke on Instagram. A little joke and got ejected, banned from everyone. And your favorite celebrity deleted his social media and what but what was the joke was it like i just want to meet him and stab him well no she she was like she basically was like it was took a picture of her in the crowd waiting to get in and i think she was trying to like endear herself to him saying like she was crazy out here she's like you don't want to come out of the stage door today but like face like stone cold

face in the crowd and she was just talking about because there were a lot of like kind of crazed beetlejuice fans there yeah but she said you don't want to come out of the stage door i'm not gonna lie that is pretty funny and if you had looked at her story i guess would have been clearer but hearing his version too it's a real uh rashomon is that what they call it we're different the story from different perspectives. Yeah. Where we really got it from his perspective, which was randomly tagged in one story of someone like this, don't come to the stage door. And then you see a 21 year old girl being like, I just wanted to see the show and I'm a big fan.

Yeah. It was just kind of a very cool. And Tova, who has watched every video on tiktok um was able to find it and she often finds a lot of things that relate to this podcast yeah there so thank you tova and thank you to that to that poor woman i should have her on okay yeah yeah we're considering it uh uh do you have a blessing for us um yeah okay wait let's see make sure this is okay um so my dog um whose name is chance he very much very much loves the snow uh he has a very thick coat so he doesn't get cold out there and he loves it more than anything like like we've given him we've given him almost every meat we can think

of and even though he loves those treats and he loves like cooked like we cook some chicken he like his eyes light up and everything the snow is just like another it's another level right and it snowed a little while back, and there were some mounds that were made near the trees and everything in our neighborhood from people shoveling the snow out of the way. And he loves to climb those, and he climbs them like a little bear.

He's a Sheba, but he has such good jumps that he just jumps and then like hugs the tree with the snow on it and i'm just very grateful that i got to see that that's like a level of joy that i had never seen in an animal and i don't know if i don't that's like such a particular part of joy that i hadn't accessed it until i saw him do that and how much he loves it. And so that's, that's definitely something. I think as, as a depressed person, I think about dog, like one thing that dogs like show you very frequently, it's just kind of a kind of joy that you're like, Oh, that's possible in some realm. If I can forget about these other things.

So that's, that's a, that's a beautiful one. Um, well, uh, for those, uh, listening, just, uh, uh, anything you want to plug?

Oh yeah. So if you have liked me or anything I've said, uh, I also have a podcast called the Josh Johnson show. I talk with my good buddy and fellow comedian, Logan Nielsen, tell him stories about going on the road, stories from life and everything.

And we just have a generally awesome time. And then other than that, would you know when the episode's going to come out? I'm not sure. Probably like in a month though. Okay. So a month from now, my mixtape should have dropped. I have a mixtape coming out on all the streaming platforms that you can listen to things on, every audio platform called Channel Black, and it's me, Dulce Sloan, Ashton Womack, and Randall Otis all came together and made a comedy compilation tape. So it's us, and then it's clips from lesser-known speeches from popular black activists and everything.

And it'll be very fun. it out what what activists um so we have one from marcus garvey and then we have one from dick gregory uh testifying for congress about getting more um resources into like poor neighborhoods and everything and so we use those as sort of like interludes between the comics fuck yeah what was the name of that again channel black channel black uh russell i don't know uncle function uncle function was it second friday for every month second friday of every month asylum nyc um and then for those uh uh just a reminder for the downside uh we we took a pause on the patreon but if you do want to join the Patreon, you get access to all our back episodes, and we'll let you know when it's reactivated. And I know some of you are probably wondering we had to remove some of our old episodes because of some things Russell said.

Fuck you. That there's a video going on, a compilation, if you want to see it online. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But me, find me, find me online. I'm going to be, I think the big one is I'll be headlining Dynasty Typewriter March 30th in LA. But I'm doing a lot of stuff. Gilda's Laugh Fest in March. Comics Mohegan Sun in August. DC Comedy Loft in November.

And there's gigs in between those dates. So find me at your Marco Cerezi everywhere. And, you know, I hope you enjoy. Tell your friends about the downside, but otherwise, just sit back tonight, relax, and smoke some of that dank, dank pussy pot. This is the downside.

One, two, three. Downside. Downside. Downside.