The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #78 Making Love with a Pliable P#nis with Katie Hannigan

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

Comedian Katie Hannigan talks about being flown to Honolulu to do a one-night only performance of a one-woman show called Making Love with a Pliable Penis (later renamed Stop The Men) and how that led her to stand-up comedy. We also discuss the lies we've told to get out of jobs, which date you should reveal you have children, teaching hip hop to five-year-olds, and our parents very different approaches to disclosing medical problems. Russell Daniels is also finally back after recovering from his THIRD bout of covid. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Follow Katie Hannigan on Instagram and Twitter Listen to Katie Hannigan's album, Feeling of Emptiness. Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's monthly show in NYC Watch or listen to Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon & on Spotify Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Fawn Sullivan, Paige Asachika, & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello. Hello. Welcome to The Downside. We're trying. We're going to try this out. We just recorded an episode and now we're recording the intro, like separate from the episode. I don't know if I like it. I'm going to pretend I don't know anything about what just happens. No, that's, I think you're supposed to say, you're supposed to be like, this is a great episode. We talked about. Oh, I thought we were going to pretend like we have, like we're acting like, you know, we don't have any sort of memory of what, you know? Sure. But you want to do it like. I think people do the thing where it's like, it's like we talked about dating someone who has a kid and teaching preschool.

So why tell people what they're about? You know, I see what you're saying. Well, just to be like, here's what you're in store for. So you're not surprised. Trigger warnings. I think this whole thing should be a trigger warning. Long trigger warning. But what if they're like, I don't really want to hear about those three or four.

Like if we try to narrow it down, is that going to limit us? You know, you're saying like, they're going to be like, eh, you know what? I don't want to listen to this. I don't want to hear about a theater thing. And like, you know, don't give away. I listen to this. I don't want to hear about a theater thing. Don't give away. I know we did touch a little bit of theater. Those trigger warnings,

I got, this was going to be, I never got around to it for, this has got to stop where, like NPR, whenever it's a story about like sexual assault or whatnot, they'll talk about a trigger warning. And then they'll move on to a story about some bombing in ukraine where like

20 people exploded and you're like oh well that's like that's really bad too it's just very interesting like where it's doled out also like trigger warnings on like tweets i think are really ridiculous because your eyes take in the full tweet like it says like tw. Yes, yes. TW, sexual assault. And then you see the words, the bad words. And a child raped by a priest. And you're like, oh, okay. Yeah, we got it. Well, this episode is coming up. If you're watching it,

you're going to notice Russell's angle disappears suddenly. And it's because a memory card got full. So many things. But how do you feel? Do you feel good about the spaces coming together? Joe Marco, it looks so good. The walls look great. We have the yellow chairs.

The chairs and the walls complement each other great. We got a plant in the corner, which is really nice. Fake plant. That brings some life into this soulless room. And it just feels welcoming. It does? It feels warm. Good.

Because it's still tight. It's a tight room. It does. It feels like you raised the ceiling about seven feet. That's very nice. I'm not lying. Getting rid of that thing in the corner, that TV not being there, that was just like, it looks so much better.

Tova will be very happy to hear that. So if you hate this, let us know, because we might do this in the future. If they hate your room? No, no, no, not the room. If you hate this, let us know because we might do this in the future. If they hate your room? No, no, no, not the room. If you hate this little intro thing. I always feel self-conscious because Mark, it was like a big joke where Mark Maron will start all his episodes where he does a solo thing for like 13 minutes. And I always skip it. Oh, yeah.

Him just talking for 13 minutes. But I think maybe it's because it was just him. And I've always hated that. I can't listen. Bill Burrow, I love. I tried listening to that because it was just him. And I've always hated that. I can't listen. Bill Burrow. I love, I tried to listen to that podcast where he just talks for an hour and every episode he does.

He knows it's just him. He'll like, he'll bring on his wife for a second and talk to someone, but it's mostly, it's the Monday morning. Him just talking about like, just thoughts going to the store and he like riffs. And I need some kind of feedback.

I mean, the, the, the whole, if I did try that solo thing the whole time be like uh please uh write me to let me know if you thought that was funny write me to let me know if you thought this was funny so maybe with two people it's not as bad um uh but it's good to see you you went to new orleans and then you ghosted me and we talked about it did i ghost you you you made a decision okay talk more to to text to like not text back really

for a couple days we just listen here's let me say this first two things first that's fine yeah i think it was like it was shot it was surprising and i had to like figure it out on my own. Yeah, I think. And before you, we also had a group chat going with our sketch team and the rules didn't seem to apply to the group chat. And I think that's the part that made me go, I think my feelings are hurt. For sure. Okay, listen, I think, I think, listen,

I think there is a bit of a wild west in me when it comes to texting and it really is like i can imagine only like if you if you like casting something and you're like if you get my attention if you catch me with something flashy i will respond in the moment sometimes but in general i was in New Orleans and I was not responding to a lot of people's texts so just know that so A of all that that was happening B of all though like you know sometimes you find yourself even when you're

in a fun place doing something if a text came through and I did see something I'd be like oh I should respond and I had the guilt thing of like oh I haven't been present but I would respond to whatever was coming through that was new but i wasn't going back to what was i see and so so there there is sometimes that that is what happens i i do admit i'm not always very like uh on it and i think like honestly because i looked back and i was like oh i did you did reach out and i didn't

and i didn't have a memory of you reaching out and i didn't have a memory of you reaching out. And I didn't have a memory of me looking at it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I just need to up my game in terms of more pictures, more GIFs. I think it's – listen, it's fine. I think it's just – it's so hard in this world. I think we all have different texting things i think sometimes i feel an unfair because i am a phone person and everyone knows i'm a phone person that like i'm expected to respond and i have some people that like if i don't respond they go i know you're on your phone yeah and uh there's there's

it's just hard i don't know it's just it's just hard it totally made sense when you someone goes on vacations like, they're busy. But I think it truly was just the seeing of the two worlds back to back of a group chat and a regular chat where I was like, hey, what the fuck? But was I that active in the group chat? Oh, my God. You were writing out scenes. You were telling full stories. Wait.

When people wrote things, you were writing back, ha, ha, ha, ha, like the long one. Voice memos. No, I wasn't doing any of that I feel like there was like one time there was a significant difference and you have to go back and look at the time stamps of everything I printed it out okay but we're okay now

were we really not okay no I think there was just like one moment in particular that was like where I was like oh oh, I think I'm sad. Oh, I'm sorry, Joe Markle. It's okay. I didn't mean to make you sad. No, we have a good texting relationship. No, we're very good.

I text you more than most people. No, I know. And I know that. Was New Orleans fun? Did you have a good time? I did. I mean, you love New Orleans. Does every trip just like you're like, yep, it hit it?

I think I'll say this. The only negative, I think doing this for Mardi Gras was, I'm so thankful to have done it. And it was, like, one of the greatest experiences I've ever had. But I also think that's not something I'd want to do, especially if I don't live there. There's a certain amount of energy and like, whoa, to, to do that. And so I feel, and it's a lot of money and it's, you know, so I think that, uh, I'm going to go back to new Orleans next year, probably just for like a quick weekend sort of thing. And not during Mardi Gras, it just was, it's it, um, I would say actual Mardi

Gras day though. I've never seen anything like it. Like, you know, we got up at like 5 a.m. to like start doing stuff. We went and saw some thing like there's this event that happens in this neighborhood where they perform on a drum thing. They wake up the neighborhood and that started like 6 a.m. So we're out and about. We went back and gotten our costumes and that sort of thing. And then we were at this like met in this area to do this walking parade at like 8 a.m so we're out and about we went back and gotten our costumes and that sort of thing and then we were at this like met in this area to do this walking parade at like 8 a.m and it was like 8 a.m the streets are completely filled with people in costumes that must have taken weeks or months homemade costumes to make and everyone has them and it was like it just was like one of those things we were like where you're like the entire city is doing this today.

There's not like people that are like, oh, I'm not going to blah, blah, blah. Like it was like, I just, it was, it's just music. And it's like this big street party for miles. You just walk and it's just like, you're popping in meeting new people. That's the day I got COVID. Literally, we were walking into like people's homes. They were at like makeshift bars at people's homes that they're like, come in and contribute what you want.

Did you black out at all or you just, pay what you will? No, it was like, I mean, I would say A of all, you know, you've been partying like the whole week prior. So you're a little like, you know, but I would say, uh, we realized we didn't eat at all until like 2 PM.

And I've probably never seen Nicole as drunk as she was. And I was like, I was like, we, we got to eat things are, you know, like, and we ate and then it was like,

we, we kept going. And then it was like five or six. And we were like, you know what? I think we did it. You know, I mean, we'd been and then it was like five or six and we were like, you know what? I think we did it. You know? I mean, we'd been up 12 hours at that point.

That's a lot. And we're like, so we, that night we just went home and like, and then did not like move the whole next day. Did you have any of the, what was the alcohol I had that knocked me out? That purple drink? I did have. Not on Mardi Gras, but I did it a different day. You had purple?

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll never, I'll just never get that feeling of being at that round table and being like like it like we had just taken an edible yeah and i was just like guys are you feeling wasted halfway through that fucking drink yeah that's the drink abs absence no ever clear ever clear ever clear that's the one that

my sister i think i she went to the hospital once. She was at a concert in college and had Everclear. Yeah, it's like wildly. And was so drunk that she was at the hospital and thought she was still at the concert. Oh, no. And man, that is too funny to me. I'm pretty sure I have that right.

I've just been like, what? Oh, that's really funny. Who's next? Woo! Like lighting a lighter in the middle of the hospital room. They're like, honey. Oh, my God.

Well, I'm glad that you're back. I'm glad the COVID was fine. Yeah. I think the episode after this one is going to be another one without you because I'm recording it in L.A. Still working on the guest. Do we not have things on the books for? Wait, this is not what we do in the intro. We don't have to go through the calendar very slowly and boringly for everyone listening.

So do me a favor. Listen, Downsiders. I know you're out there. You exist. I hear about you. Keep telling your friends about the show. The numbers are growing, but I want to be able to say to Russell, hey, you want to go to New Orleans? We're going to do a live Downside in New Orleans.

I'll do some stand-up shows. It'll be very cool. And I think we're going to get there eventually, but you guys can help us get there sooner. This is a great episode. If you missed Russell, I'm sorry for the lack of Russell in these couple episodes, but he'll be back after the next one. Yes. And you're going to enjoy this episode with, with the very funny Katie Hannigan.

I realized normally from here to the regular episode, they have like music. Yes. And I can't play the Downside Thieves song this many times. Oh yeah, that's a lot. So let's just risk whatever this button is. It's going to be the transition music. Fuck.

Welcome to The Downside with Jamarcus Oresi. And finally, the return of Russell Daniels. Yeah, I'm back. We had two guest co-hosts. Was that it? Yeah, you were in New Orleans, and then he had COVID for the third time. Oh my God, third time's the charm.

Third time. That's the charm. Original? Original. Was that called anything? Was it called a variant, or do variants only exist? Is the first one not a variant?

I don't know. Is that just COVID-19? OG COVID. Yeah, COVID-19. OG COVID. And then was it Delta? Delta. Delta, which is the second kind of thing.

Delta, which is the one I got that you gave to me. Well, it's debatable. And then Omicron, yeah. And now they have the Deltacron and they have the other Omicron. Really? Okay. I've heard about this. I'm usually pretty good for like six months or so and then, yeah. You just succumb. Yeah? Okay. Well, I've heard about this. I'm usually pretty good for like six months or so. And then, um, yeah. So come. Yeah. Wow. I definitely got mine in new Orleans. Cause I,

I could look at the pictures he posted. It looks like he was looking for it. I know. Well, like he went to new Orleans and say, give it to me a third time. I was there for a full week and I didn't get sick till the two or three days after I got home. So I it was like probably on Mardi Gras day. So But you know worth it to a degree Yeah, you missed our sketch show yeah, you missed the podcast we had in finance was a co-host very funny I realized about Ian is cuz normally I'm kind of the of the two of us. I'm pushing the boundaries a little more. He's a bit of a chaos monster. Ian is where I'm the one like, Ian, you can't say that. Ian, no, please.

He's a wild man. He's a wild man. He's very funny. He loves pressing the buttons. He kept pressing all the buttons. That's his thing. I thought you meant figuratively. I was like, yes, he does. He's pushing the envelope. He's pressing the buttons. He's a mess in the office.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I wanted to, before we talk formally with Katie Hennigan, who just had an album come out a couple weeks ago now, the feeling of emptiness. Feeling of emptiness. Feeling of emptiness. I love it. I can relate to it already.

I got to be vague about this one This is my complaint I told Russell more So I had maybe a family member Who You could say other maybes There's so many maybes Maybe a family member Maybe I guess something else

An old school friend perhaps An old school friend It else an old school friend perhaps an old school friend help vagueness it was it was an old school friend my solution to this would be to never speak to them again i think that's why that's why it where someone connected to someone they have uh cancer oh they have cancer i i. They have cancer. Oh, too bad. I believe stage four breast cancer, but this is where things get complicated.

This narrows it down. That's true. Maybe a female family member. Well, yeah. Okay, keep going. So I told you this 10 seconds ago. You're like, well, let me clarify a couple things. I was told through perhaps another family family member there's a lot of

second hands here that that one morning i had this text this oh this person has terminal breast cancer and the word terminal i think is pretty clear word i feel like it reminds me of the airport well i that's where my mind goes yes i gotta to get a snack and I got to hurry. Well, fittingly, the airport reminds me of crashing and then dying. So it's all a loop. Terminal to me means, again, this is not scientific, but in my mind, I'm like, oh, so they're going to die sometime in the next week to the next year. Yes. And it means die. Death is on the door.

Death is knocking. And it turned out, I found out later, I make some calls. I'm very anxious about helping. What is my role? What is my responsibility? And then it ended up still being stage four cancer, I think, but not terminal. And I guess the person used the word terminal in a moment of passion or they were exaggerating or they were expressing a fear but they expressed it in a way

where they said the word terminal. And I have this thing with a lot of my family now. My family. Or maybe family. Or maybe family. Sorry. On one side or another, my dad's or my mom's,

where people exaggerate medical stuff in a way where I can't have the proper emotional response I want to because it's accompanied by a feeling of skepticism about what the truth is. very uh for clempton frustrated about it because when i found out that the word terminal was used uh inappropriately there was no room to get angry because the cancer is still there and the person who used the word terminal is not the person with the cancer yes so there was just this thing where i couldn't go hey what the fuck because they dealing with someone, a loved one who has terminal stage four breast cancer. But then now in my head, I'm like, is it stage four? Is it not clear? Are your headphones okay, Katie?

Yeah, sorry. They're a little. I don't care if I don't wear these. You don't have to wear them. Yeah, we don't have to wear them. You know, my head is so delicate. Yeah. And it's just pressing.

I'm so sorry to interrupt the story. I don't want to make this about me. Maybe you have stage four brain cancer. This is not about me. This is story. I don't want to make this about me. Maybe you have stage four brain cancer. This is not about me. This is. And I don't want to make it about me. The downside. One, two, three.

Downside. This music playing. Oh, right. I figured we'd get out the way. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Cerezi.

Yeah, sure. But then I saw he wasn't wearing them, so I thought, okay. Are they that terrible? No, I couldn't hear it. It wasn't. I didn't realize. This is your knob right raising. Yeah. Sure. But then I saw he wasn't wearing them, so I thought, okay, maybe I could take that. Are they that terrible? No, I couldn't hear it. It wasn't, I didn't realize. This is your knob right here. It's fine. I don't want to use them.

We're not using them today. I'm like thinking about the money I spent on the headphones. I could have just had one pair of headphones. No, I usually wear them. No, no, sure. I'm not going to do it today. I'm just going to try it without it. Well, back to the cancer.

Yes. So it's very frustrating. I don't know. It's just like this is a new phase with my family and people getting older we're like it just is a nightmare of parsing all this stuff out and i i've never i'm stealing so much with every person who tells me stuff about my family on this one side they're all unreliable narrators and that's fun in movies but in in real life it prevents you from being able to deal with anything appropriately and you

can't when it deals with this kind of stuff you can't ever get mad because the person is always in some level of duress so that's just where i'm at i don't know if you're but it's confusing though because stage four is the worst cancer that you can have, isn't it? But it's not the same as terminal cancer. Yes. Well, like stage four, stage four could mean you have to get a mastectomy perhaps, but then there's like terminal is like it's spread to the heart and you can't get a heartectomy. Definitely going to die. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know a couple of people that had stage four and then they're you know fresh as a daisy they made it through so it's not that bad sometimes and honestly the

only person i could contact to get the truth from is the person who is not part of the family who has the thing but i can't call this person who i don't know very well and be like hey just want to check are you dying yeah do you even have cancer Do you even have cancer? Do you even have cancer? Like, how bad is this? I just want to have some facts on the ground. Sometimes I want to talk to the doctor. Yeah, it sounds a little Munchausen-y. A little Munchausen-vibe exaggeration. But it's a mix because it's like, I almost said, the person who it's about had an operation.

I'm sure anyone who listens to this can narrow all this down by now. Oh, my God. Had an operation. So there anyone who listens to this can narrow all this down by now oh my god had an operation where so there is real stuff going on but it's mixed with hypochondria yeah and so i'm just at a loss and i just sometimes you wish i want to be like hey can i just talk to your doctor can i go over your head and talk to the doctor because the surgery was very i could talk to the doctor and i said what are the what are the odds yeah of death on the table yeah and i could get that number for real which i believe was 1.5 percent so i said okay i said i said so what percentage do you think i need to cancel my

weekend at loony bin oklahoma city a fine club You don't want to miss it. I said, do I need to cancel my shows? He said, what club? Looney Bin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should come home for this one. You'll want to cancel. You'll want to cancel. Do you wonder if you just started react, like if you just started in your head being like,

okay, they're lying, but then giving them the response they wanted, but then in your head being like, everything will be fine. But then if it's not fine, then now I feel bad. Well, then you in your head being like, everything will be fine. But then if it's not fine, then now I feel bad. Well, then you lived a longer amount of time thinking it was fine. You gave them the appropriate response that they were looking for in the moment.

Sure. And then also, then if something bad happens, you lived your life being like, oh, I didn't know that was going to happen. Does that make sense? Yeah. If I could agree with that,

that also sounds dishonest in a different way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just like, could you just lie your way through life? No, that's true. And be at peace with it. But I don't know. I don't know what to tell you because I do feel like knowing, you know, you've talked about this before.

I do feel like there's really not, I don't know who you would go, you're not going to get the truth. Of course. You're not going to get like what you're looking for. So I don't know what to advise. Some people make jokes. They say their parents like don't tell them about all their medical stuff. Tova's, Tova's mom wrote to her just like,

your father's retina is attached. We're at, we're almost done with surgery. And it was like after, it was after everything was done. There was no like, I think your dad's going blind. Yeah.

The doctor think it could have to be removed. We're out of, it just was at the end. And I'm so envious of that. Yeah. I am so envious of that yeah i am so envious of not knowing anything yeah how are your parents my my dad had a heart surgery a few years ago and it was he had a fib which is not too what's the name tell me what that is um i'm not sure what it stands for atrial fibrillation yes it's It's when your heart, your heart beats irregularly, the electricity in your heart is somehow irregular.

So it's a kind of procedure where they go in. And my parents did, they did kind of a hilarious thing where they didn't tell us anything. They just acted like everything was fine. And then about two weeks before the surgery, they, then they dropped it on us. So it was like, like well we didn't want to tell you but things are very serious and something's seriously wrong and it's like so wait you but then you did tell us so they kind of got the best of both worlds where they they kept a secret but then they dropped they dropped the bomb on us and um it is a pretty serious surgery if

you're older but it's not like for example as as serious as like a quadruple bypass or something like that, where it's like cranking open your chest. Yeah. This is, this is actually a very minimally invasive surgery, although it is still like very hard on people, you know? So it was, it was a big deal. And then, you know, my dad, fine. He's all good. Did they open his chest or did they like go through the nose? It was like a little, I think they went in through the, like the something down here. Through the bottom part. It was kind of a whoopsie daisy, an upside down kick, as they call it in medical.

Every time you hear these kind of things, you're like, how many other ways did they try it before they figured out you could access the heart through there? How many people died when they went through the nose, the eye, the ear, the mouth? They were just poking around down there for a long time. I saw the Nick. Did you see that show? Yes, I saw the Nick. I think about the Nick all the time. Whenever people are like, oh, I wish I had been born in the 50s or the 1800s,

I'm like, just look at what the operations were. The Nick had the scene where this woman, she had a miscarriage, and she won't let go of the dead baby's body she has a mental breakdown and so they go oh we think there's toxins in the teeth

so they remove all her teeth yes that was like a common practice in Victorian England even like as a wedding present

it would be like just get the wife's teeth removed so she doesn't like cost any more money down the road oh my god and then they put the that used to be a reveal of where they have like the white thing up at the wedding it was

just so you saw the veil here comes your brain um well i'm glad your dad's doing better shout out my dad listens to all my podcasts really so he will he will be finding this one. It's his hobby. He loves podcasts and he loves comedy. My mom listens, which is good because the story is not about her. Well, good for her. I'm glad that you clarified. We've been narrowing this down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've been narrowing this down.

Listen, if they never let that ever says, oh, do your jokes about your parents upset them i'm like my dad doesn't watch my stand-up no oh bless his heart well sorry you can have my dad he's very he's a lot shorter than you don't take you up on that you would you know my dad is about he's only about five eight so he would look so cute next to you i think it would be like oh we got a tall boy somehow in the family that would be fun how tall are tall are you? 5'4". 5'4"? Okay, that's my mom's height. Okay, we could do a little switcheroo. How tall are you? 5?

You're 6. 5? 5? Look at his face. I'm 5'16". 6'4". My goodness. You did quick math there. Thank you. I think I've made that joke before. Oh, okay. Thank you. Yeah. I think I've made that joke before. Oh, okay.

Never mind. Well, okay. What? I like that as a mystery. Five, six, teen. I like that. Looking into the other camera for the punchline. You grew up in Indianapolis.

Yes. I'm going there soon. I'm going to do The Little Room at Helium. Oh, it's lovely. Or actually, I should say, I just got back from Helium Indianapolis. I had a great time. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure.

Indianapolis has great comedy people. It's a good Midwestern audience. They love a joke. They'll let you get a little edgy. They'll let you do a little political stuff if you want. Good, good. They're pretty good.

And downtown Indianapolis is, well, the mall has gone downhill. I'll say that much. The mall has gone downhill and the Helium is in the mall. Oh, it's in the mall. You guessed it. It is much the mall has gone downhill and the helium is in the mall it is in the mall man there's something about most malls have gone downhill i think it's like a very american thing that now is like dying we did we did an episode on my podcast about the decline of the american mall and but you know i love the name of the podcast

it's just all mall it was a little mall no no it was just one episode it was a full yeah it was a chronicle it was a year by year it was a bit of a ken burns podcast on malls yes um but yeah it's great i i love indianapolis it's like a little kind of bastion of um like city life and you know in most of indiana it's just cornfield so it's like once you get out of the little highway perimeter you're just kind of you you know, in the abyss. Okay. But now let's just run to the downside. What sucks about Indianapolis?

Anything? Sorry. I'm having some kind of reaction. It's great. You know, it is pretty conservative. I think I haven't lived there. I moved here in 2008 to New York. So it's been so long that I barely really recognize it anymore.

They have terrible traffic. I know that. I went there a few years ago. I was doing like a daytime TV. I was doing like morning news or something. I had no idea that the traffic was going to. They were like, make sure you like make sure you leave early i was like please i live in new york i was in traffic for three hours i missed

the show in indianapolis it was crazy because everybody just drives there and it's a small city it's like oh god it's like um eight hundred thousand people in the city it's not big were you doing was this morning radio to promote a show yeah it was the show that i was there for so i was like going there to do and then i was like well okay i gotta i just did uh it was on zoom it was for fox news for i'm in gilda's laugh fest oh fun and uh it's you know i feel i gotta tell you it's for the clean, I feel, I got to tell you, it's for the Clean Comedy Showcase. Yes. And something about it, there's just something in me that I feel some kind of embarrassment of, like, being part of this clean, like, it's advertised. It's about that it's clean.

Yeah. That's the selling point. There's a dirty version also. There's a dirty show, too. How do they pick, like, did you submit for both? No, I just got the offer. I don't even know. I don't even know. I don't know why anyone considers.

Sometimes people go like, oh, you're clean. I'm like, it makes me. I'm like, I'm not clean. Yeah. But the clean one is for like people who don't like to laugh as much. And there's something about I don't know. I do in this morning radio. I always I'm like, oh, I want to be funny.

I want to like bring something of myself. I see some clips of like Sam Morrell had some pit where he they asked him like, I want to be funny. I want to bring something of myself. I see some clips of Sam Morrell had some pit where they asked him how did you get into comedy, which is the horrible question. He said something about the way Spider-Man was bit by a spider. His uncle molested him or something. I wish I had that kind of chutzpah.

Over Zoom, it feels impossible to really do much. Yes, it's tricky on Zoom. Everything feels like choreograph Yes. It's tricky on Zoom. It just feels, everything feels like choreographed. Like, oh, this is an organic moment. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And the hosts for these shows, I mean, they're just like, ha, ha, ha, ha. They just, they're so, they're like animatrons. Yeah. They're just laughing at everything you're saying. You don't, you lose sense of what's real. Yeah. And it all feels kind of corny.

Yeah. That's, that's the thing about clean comedy. When you just do comedy and you're not labeling it as clean comedy, then it's like, oh, this is just comedy. But when you label it as clean comedy, then it's like, is Jesus here? Are we part of a cult? Is this a mega church? Like, what's going on? Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, that's so true.

It feels like religion is guiding the way in terms of like what these standards are. And so it's like Clean Comedy Show, guys. I'm like, this feels like it's Christian comedy in a way. I don't know. I looked at all the rules yesterday and there were like three different documents with the rules. Is it related to that dry bar? To the dry bar? No, it's not dry bar.

It's for Laugh USA, the SiriusXM channel. Okay, yes. And like, so there's a word, a list of like the words you can't say. I've seen that paper for Sirius. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. Some of the words are hilarious though. I'll pull it up because it is, it is very funny because some of the words you're like,

oh, I forgot that was a word. And now. Some of the words you're like, yes, I would never say that. And then some of the words are like goose hammer. You're like, oh, is that an obscure slur from the 20s? Get away, you goose hammer. And it's been so embarrassing. I've been going around doing some bits like

one where I say the word smartass and now I do it on stage going smart aleck. I've been working on saying, oh my gosh, instead of oh my God. Well, you can say oh my God. I don't, it's not 100% clear. That's the other thing. It's never 100% clear. It's always like, you should be able to do it in front of seven-year-olds.

It's like, well, seven-year-olds, I'll tell you what they laugh at. They laugh at poop and fart. And they're big about no scatological humor. Yeah. No, because I imagine there's maybe a lot of clean comics who like lean on poop stuff. Farts and like, yeah. Because they're like, what else have you left me with? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're very clear. Wait, what happens if you fuck up? Well, I'm nervous because if I'm doing well, I talk fast on stage. And if I'm really wanting to get a real roll going, if I talk really fast, I get nervous that I let a fuck slip. Or I do, especially for the jokes where I change something within it. Yeah. That I'll just accidentally. I tried, you know the joke where it's my mom gave you a couple hand jobs at Hebrew school. Yeah. I've been trying my mom made out with you at Hebrew school.

And it works with this joke. But I'm so scared I'm going to be on stage. You say hand job. Doing well. Pop in and say hand job. Made out with a couple hand jobs. Made out with a couple hand jobs. Oh, that's worse.

It'd be funny if you said made out but did the hand job and go. Made out with a couple hand jobs. Made out with a couple hand jobs. Oh, that's worse. It'd be funny if you said made out but did the hand job gesture. Now you're not clean, but you've done clean stuff. I have some clean chunks and I like to do clean jokes. It's not that I like to do clean jokes. I just like jokes that have to do with like,

I guess they fall under the wit wordplay category or like analogies. But I do, especially now that I'm back doing shows in the city and doing late night shows, like usually what I'll do is if I'm doing an early show, I just keep it cleaner. Just as like, I guess from my own sense of propriety that I've arbitrarily drawn a line in the sand.

And then like after 10 10 it's anything goes. That's nice. I just kind of like it. I feel like I'm a lady. I'm a lady before 10. Alright, these are the words. Ass, asshole, bastard, bitch. They made it alphabetical for everyone. Ass, asshole,

bastard, bitch, blowjob, clitoris, cock, crap, excrement, cum, cunt, damn, dick, dickhead, dildo, douche, dumbass. The D word for lesbians. Oh, okay. Your favorite word, the F word. Okay. For gay people.

Fallatio. Feck. F-E-C-K. Feck, fuck, goddamn, homo, hooker, jackass, jerk, masturbation, jizz, motherfucker, the n-word, nuts, testicles, pecker, penis, pimp, piss, poop, prick, penis, penis twice. They say do not fuck with this. Prostitute, pubic, pussy, queer, sex, shit, slut, smegma, spunk, tit, turd, twat, vagina, whore.

Smegma was the one that stuck out to me because it's like, if you're not going to say nuts, and you think you're going to say smegma, you're out of your fucking mind. Smegma, just to be clear. You can't say semen. No, but that's the thing. It's not on here. But then another document said don't say hell. Don't even talk about religion.

I heard you're not supposed to say Jew, even if it's like, I'm a Jew. Yeah, because that's, well, that's not clean. Yeah. Jews are unclean. So I think that's why. I think that's why. They have not been baptized. It's one of those things, it becomes racist also because like you're not supposed to like talk about race.

Yeah. And so it becomes just like, you know, if you're a black person performing in Grand Rapids, Michigan for a white audience, you're not supposed to you know if if you're a black person performing grand rapids michigan for a white audience you're not supposed to address the fact that you're a black like it just becomes it's bad it's not good yeah so the jokes are like my husband is stupid yeah i would die i would kill to have a husband i couldn't talk about it i don't because i don't think you can even be gay i think as we talked to to Ashley Gavin, some cruise lines, she was asexual. I think that was a thing in Dollywood, I think. One of my girlfriends worked in Dollywood, and you had to sign a thing that would say

no alcohol and swearing that you're not gay. Oh, my God. Really? Yes, which is so crazy because the gays love Dollywood. People love Dolly Parton. Who doesn't? Oh, Dollywood people love Dolly Parton right like that that's a very doesn't wait Dolly oh Dollywood her that's her theme park wait Dollywood says you can't say you're gay that's what my friend told me you heard it here folks the downside is breaking she's like she's like admired well we'll check it i know we'll check it yeah you do need to check it because i again i heard this from a girl

I was friends with who worked there. No, she worked at like, I don't know if she worked there or she had a friend who worked there, but this is fourth, fifth hand information

plus I smoke pot. So I'm not reliable. None of my facts are reliable. Just know that. Just know that. All right, well, we'll check it. Would that be the scandal

of the century? That would be scandalous. Everyone loves her so much. It would yeah good to see her taking down a peg but also you can't drink you had to be like i'm sober you like you can't drink at work or you just you have to you have to be like you cannot drink because i think you have to live there you have to live there so it's like it's like a dry campus basically yeah I hate it all. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What comes to mind when you hear the word gratitude? Maybe it's a daily practice, or maybe it feels hard to be grateful right now. Don't forget to give yourself some thanks by investing in your well-being.

BetterHelp is the largest online therapy provider in the world, connecting you to qualified professionals via phone, video, or message chat. Let the gratitude flow. Visit BetterHelp.com to learn more and save 10% on your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey, no, too basic. Hi there. Still no. What about hello, handsome handsome who knew you could give yourself the ick that's why bumble is changing how you start conversations you can now make the first move or not with opening moves you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches then sit back and let your matches start the chat download bumble and try it for yourself um so okay so indianapolis yes you went

to college was it indiana indiana yes i went to butler into to butler and you studied uh theater yes we were both theater majors so we had a chat about that i remember not too long ago i know i was invited to my college's showcase today oh my And I'm not going to go because it would be too sad. It would be too sad. I have too many feelings. Were you invited to go to watch the students showcase? Is that what you're saying? Yeah.

Oh, not to perform. No, no, no. Oh, if it was to open it up, I'd be there in a heartbeat. Oh, okay. No, no. I was invited to like go there. And then they would say to these students who have traveled to New York, they'd say, we had some big industry there.

We had Jim Marcos-Arazy from Comedy Central. Yeah yeah and I would have to go up and say I will never help you yeah yeah well how could you from you right now they're at the they're at the end of being stolen from so like it's too late for me to like I don't want to make it feel bad I want to let them have their day right have a nice day it would be sad did you have a showcase for Butler no no we didn't do anything like that it was very um my school of all, it was a theater program, but it was like, it really leaned more towards the avant-garde. So we weren't doing, we were more like producing like original shows and that was like our big piece.

So it was more like a program geared towards like making your own play okay then it was towards like we do a lot of broadway yes a lot of movement mask yeah okay yes absolutely did you do any suzuki or yeah we did yeah me too yeah we did are you a theater major too i got my mfa but i I did it in grad school. I did We did Link later. Oh yeah. Yes. Anne Bogart. Yes.

Anne Bogart came. She came to the school. Anne Bogart came. Yeah. It was very exciting. We had a city company person come but it wasn't Anne Bogart but yeah yeah yeah.

So cool. Describe Suzuki in one sentence for a parent who's deciding if they're going to pay for their kid's college. Oh my god.

In a way that makes them go like okay 60,000 a year? Yeah. It's a lot of stomping. It's a lot of stomping is what I'll say. And chanting and stomping. Is Suzuki with the concept of sots? Where you go into sots the moment before the moment?

Remember the marches? I can't even remember. The synchronicity. Yeah, you're marching and you're, yes. And you do Shakespeare. When I was doing it, you would be in uncomfortable positions, slowly lowering, slowly rising, going tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,

creeps in this petty place, doing Shakespeare monologues, but in these really uncomfortable uncomfortable positions oh my god oh I'm getting like it's like stressing out even thinking about it again I remember I remember laying on the floor for hours at a rehearsal and just and we were just and I my had back problems at the time and my hip was completely out of alignment and I couldn't really lay that way and I remember being like something's hurting and they they were like, shh, go into it.

Yeah. Yeah. Feel into it. Feel into it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. There's a person with a stick,

like hitting it. There was a stick. You go into like different positions when they hit the stick each time. I thought you were saying that if you moved out of the position, the person with the stick would hit you. No, no, no,

no. Like you, there'd be like different positions. Like that, that the stick would signify time to shift positions quickly. Yes. You know? And they'd be like, and they'd like hit it like on the, on the ground.

It was so pretentious. It was so, you know, yeah. But you know, it really, it really kind of evolved a type of person that I hate because it rewarded people who would, instead of like grasping the concepts and grasping like what it was really about, it just rewarded the person who came up with like grasping the concepts and grasping like what it was really about it just rewarded the person who came up with like the most bat shit obscure answer like i remember once we were doing like you know we were doing like our work or whatever we were working with this ancient italian play called aminta it's like an ancient text and um this like most obscure

student racist hand and said i feel i have a deep feeling that if aminta were an animal he would be a porpoise and they were just like bravo bravo and you know it's just like rewards people just pulling shit out of their ass and acting like they know it all and it's like oh that's the worst type of person that's one of the reasons I decided to just kind of like move away from that genre and make fun of it it's there with everything there's so much I think about so much

like scene study work where then they turn it to the class to like discuss and looking back I'm like they're just filling time filling time just filling time the amount of like I'm like oh why am i spending 15 minutes my class listening to the guy who just graduated high school with me and their thoughts on the other person's scene work what is this for i yeah i hate that like i hated it in school and i

also hated it in like i still like if you're doing a theater job and you're like the there's like a time where there's like stuff that's helpful at table work but then there's a time where just dumb people are like i think blah blah blah and they're just like feeling this weird thing they're like why don't we just get up on our feet and do some stuff and like there's this weird thing of like table work for people i think that there's a lot of dramaturgy stuff that i'm like table work is like you sit down you go through the beats of the play you figure you know what know, what's your character's objective. What's their obstacle. What's their tactics.

And I remember working on like new plays and it'd be like, why do you think the character suddenly slaps her mom? And you're like, because it's a bad play. And the playwright just wrote that. And there's no logic here. And we're, we're like bending over backwards to like,

to like say, why does this make sense well you have to approach it as if the play is right yeah and it's like sometimes the play fucking blows yeah that's the moments where i'm like yeah go to shakespeare at least you know it's good i remember i was in a conversation while i was doing the importance of being earnest once and we were in one of these like an hour and a half long conversation about like why why this play is still relevant you know and it was really funny it was a student director who was doing it and he was like

he was leading this whole thing and like why the importance of being earnest is so necessary in 2008 necessary you know whatever like whatever it was and it was so funny because then one of the professors who was like the dialect coach like helping out with the show was like he was like i think it's just funny and like that's probably why we're still show was like he was like i think it's just funny and like that's probably why we're still doing it like it was like that's enough of the conversation like it's like this whole thing of like for every play i don't know it's very it's i got turned off from the world too because i was like it's it's it's there is like a built-in fuel for narcissism there where it's like everyone's going around saying their opinion and it's like the person that wants to talk is like the person that's talking and i just i always hated that

because it's like i'm not the type of person to be like and i i'm gonna butt in i have something oh kill me yeah at least with comedy you're by yourself you don't have to deal with those other people you know sure sure it is you that is the thing. I'm like, we're running to a spot. Bye. Yeah, we don't have to agree on warm-ups before the show. Yeah. That's when I did one play. I didn't do too many plays in New York, but there was one where they always want us to do warm-ups before the show and crazy eights, and I was just at an age where I was like, no.

No. No. Yeah. This is not how I get ready. Crazy eights. I pace in the back and I box an illusionary figure, which is my dad. Well, there's a magical thing about theater, which is the huge amount of group effort that it takes to pull off a play and everyone doing their little parts and stuff. But it's also like, it's just.

It's just when Daniel Day-Lewis quit theater, he also talked about he described very acutely the feeling of desperation he felt on like the first night, the first rehearsal where everyone gets together for the reading and the tech people are there and the costume person is there and there's snacks. And he described very acutely the feeling of like, you guys are sustaining this thing that doesn't need to be. And that feeling of like, we're doing this is important doesn't need to be and that feeling of like we're doing this is important here here's the pretzels we were able to afford pretzels this time yeah yeah yeah but talk to me about because we both left this world to a certain degree i mean when you when you so you moved to new york after graduating so i moved to new york i was i was doing an internship at the ontological hysteric theater, which is an experimental theater that used to be in St. Mark's church. You didn't have to say it was an experimental theater. We knew the second you said it. I was the blubbity blubbity smarter than you commune. So I was working there and I was doing, and I was doing my own experimental

shows with a small group of college friends and we were performing and we were doing stuff and we were doing stuff that was like a bit more humorous and I was auditioning and I actually really wanted to just do straight theater. I really, I realized I was like, I don't, the experimental world, I was kind of going into it in college. I was doing weird stuff. And then I realized like, I really just love acting. I just love acting. And I maybe should have gone to more of an acting school. Sure. But I didn't. So I was like moving away from the experimental theater. I was going to auditions.

I had like a couple off Broadway callbacks where I got close. And after the second one, I was in like the last, the round of the last three. I didn't make it. I was in like the last, the round of the last three. I didn't make it. I was fucking devastated. Then I got cast, quote unquote, and I'm using that phrase liberally, in something I found on backstage. It was a one-woman show where I was invited by a man named Jet to perform his play that he wrote about the government's rape of america it was very salacious

um there was a lot of for this i sent in a self-tape i believe reading part of the script reading part of the script yeah what was the name of the show um i uh oh my god i think it was something like oh making love with a pliable penis that was the working title that was the working title that we started with so yeah so i was rehearsing he paid for me to rehearse at an experimental workshop that was like over on the west side somewhere so i was rehearsing with these other people that were nuts were they but it was a one-person show so what were they they were doing their one you were all just standing in a room like rehearsing one people's shows? We were kind of going one at a time and giving feedback. Oh, okay.

Because he lived far away. So he wasn't able to, he just wanted, he kind of just wanted me to like work on it. And then we were like going to check in. So after I like worked on it. How was the script? Funny? Weird? It was very dense prose.

And I didn't fully understand how graphically sexual it was because i just like read like a little bit you know and then after i was like working on it for like a few months i was like this is really graphically sexual but it was it was just so dense were you talking to the audience were you addressing america i was playing a native american woman who was so that's the first thing but i wasn't and he actually did request that i get a spray tan which i refused i refused what year was this 2008 or 9 wow wow well i credit my drama teacher in high school, Cindy Reed, because she told us she, I went to like a pretty integrated high school,

which for Indiana is, I'm very lucky. She sat everyone down and was like, if you are serious about being an actor, you will never do blackface. It's considered disrespectful and no serious actor would ever do it. So thank you. Thank you, Miss Reed. It's very funny that that's, I don't think at my school

they thought they had to say that one. Don't do blackface. But in Indiana, no, it's good. In Indiana, yeah. It's a crazy thing where you see the dates of stuff still popping up where you're like, oh, that was 2014. When I was in high school, I did Arabian Nights

where I definitely put on some bronzer stuff. stuff still popping up where you're like, oh, that was 2014. When I was in high school, I did Arabian Nights, where I definitely put on some bronzer stuff. Then we did Pacific Overtures, where you're supposed to be Asian. No one's asking you to say all these. And then I did a high school fundraiser, and I told them I wanted to make a joke. I was like, I wanted to say,

thank God we didn't do Raisin in the Sun. And the teacher, the drama teacher said, please don't tell that joke. She was terrified. It was just that moment where she was like, please, please. I'm so scared right now. But good for you. Thank you. Well, not to say that we didn't have some. You still played a Native American, to be fair.

Yes, I did. But it was a figurative embodiment of the country of America. So that's like why it was like, I'm not sure, it was like vague. There was a vagueness to it. But anyway, yeah, it was very graphically sexual. Long story short, Jet invited me to go stay with him in Honolulu where he had decided to produce the show at the, I believe it's the Honolulu Players or something.

It's like whatever their Waikiki theater is. So I went and I remember like telling my mom, I was like, is that weird? You know, my mom's like just running around busy. That's her whole life. She's just like, she is just off, you know, like running always. And she was like, I don't know. Just go. It's fine.

You know, just go. And then I told her I was going like five days before and she was like oh my god what you're gonna fly you don't know this person like what are you doing your mom said this yes she did a 180 yeah wow yeah and I was like but I thought and then you know I told my roommate I was like do you think it's unsafe and she was like well I didn't want to say anything but I do think you could be raped and yeah and was, and I was getting on the flight in like 10 hours. How old was this guy? He was old.

He was older. But I wasn't staying with him. I was staying in the hotel. Uh-huh. How much money? Is this good money? Oh, no. I mean, I was 23 at the time, so I got about two grand.

So, you know, for 23 and I wasn't doing anything else, not bad. I do remember looking back, this one play i did with like a six week run and i think it paid 1500 and i remember at the time being like whoa yeah finally i had made more money i think doing like children's theater in indianapolis that i was like um kind of like holding this up towards but i was like i hadn booked. I was booking nothing else. Student films that were like, like awful. I was getting like totally rejected from. So anyway, I went out, I did the show. It was weird.

Jet was fine. He and his Scandinavian girlfriend were very kind to me. And I just, and then he wanted to continue to rehearse it. Did people see it? Like how many people came to these shows? It was small. It was a small, it was a one nighter. First of all, it was one performance.

And then we did a taping. So he wanted to tape it. And then his plan was he wanted to use the tapes to like send it around for colleges. He wanted, I guess he wanted. That was the plan with my play too. It was like the college circuit. The college circuit. college circuit thriving touring play college yeah yeah yeah yeah which i've never heard of since or before so but he wanted me to keep working on it at open mics can you imagine and so i was like no and then do you have this tape? I, um, I, I don't, I think I did have it at some point and I never watched it because

I just remember the sound guy was like touching me. You know how sound guys touch you. Yeah. But they're always like, I'm so sorry. I'm going to need to like pinch your nipple or whatever. They like excuse themselves. He was like touching me too much and it made me really uncomfortable. That's terrible.

What a nightmare i know i was 23 i felt like i don't is this what do you say it's in that moment it's so uncomfortable yeah he was also like saying he was like commenting on the performance and i just i just that's even worse he was giving notes yeah the touching was one thing well he was blown away he was blown away by my work but he by my work, but he was like touching, you know, like the waist touching. And I just felt so uncomfortable. So that was one reason why I just kind of left. And I was like, I'm done with this.

I don't want to do this anymore. Jet wanted to continue working together. And God bless him. He was a very sweet guy. But I was just like, why am I doing this play about like sucking cock and war? Like this isn't this is not the direction that I want to go. And this is so far away from where i want to be in my life and then i was just pushed by desperation to try open mics

to you know to do stand-up yeah and and the rest is history the rest is history 12 years later did jenner stay in touch jennifer right say hey i saw you on colbert he did not even acknowledge when i said i didn't want to work on the show anymore. He didn't write back. He said you're dead to me. Yeah. Well, you know what? I think I concocted some kind of bizarre tale of why I wasn't able to work on the show anymore. So I think that was probably part of it. Like a clear lie looking back?

A clear. I think I had said that I had been cast in an equity performance and I would no longer be able to work on it. Oh, yeah, yeah. But that I also wasn't able to say it's always show is it's always yeah you're like sorry i'm really into capitalism now i can't yeah yeah it's always risky because then they go we'll make it equity don't worry yeah right yeah i once big big big i once got out of something because someone uh someone on my old team said oh he booked uh he booked a tv show with an nda we can't talk about it ah that's smart yeah it's smart i felt that's probably the smartest thing to say because then it gets canceled and then sure my scene got cut i mean there's all sorts of stuff yeah better than when

the time which I've brought up I think of where I told them my grandma I booked something else I said my grandma who had already died had died in the funeral

was the day of the show and then the booking I got fell through and I went back and I said they moved the funeral oh my god

one time I was having a hard time quitting my first job in New york city and i tried quitting so many times and like they kept tricking me into not quitting and so then i just lied i said i booked a job an acting job and i was had to go to sex and i like i was the only way for me to like quit somehow because i was like i kept they're, do you have another job? I'm like, no, but like I couldn't quit this job and it was really an awful job and I needed to quit. Um, but I had to make up a lie.

I love, I love Texas. It's Walker, Texas Rangers. Yeah. It's something they must shoot it on location. And there's a lot of filming being done there now because of the taxes. And everyone knows that.

It was funny. Cause then it will continue. Like it would be like this, the, my boss there like kept in touch with me for a while. Yeah. Because we were friendly. But he'd be like, how's the show going?

And I just lied for like a year and a half while I still communicated with him about like. That's a long lie. Do you know what I mean? And then I saw him in New York like later on. Ran into him in the street. And then, you know, it was fine. Like, no time had passed. He didn't ask anymore.

No, no, no. What was the synopsis of that show? What was? Yeah, yeah. It is, it is fine. Like, not time had passed. He didn't ask anymore. What was the synopsis of that show? Yeah, yeah. It is, it is, yeah, I forgot. I was going to say another lie. I've told a lot of lies, I guess, every day. Yeah, well, it's so awkward because, you know, it's like you don't, especially with a creative world, it's like you don't want to be like, I'm rejecting you personally because I can't stand this play and I think it's bad and I think I could do better but you know it's like it's just easier to be like I have a kidney transplant that

I need to go to jury duty is when I lied jury duty and looking back I wish I would have done it I mean jury duty I'd have material I would love to go do jury duty for the material But, and the civic duty. But, it was, it was the, it was like the Monday before Thanksgiving. So, everyone was saying they couldn't,

they had a conflict. It was really easy. It was a lot easier. I was stressed. I don't know why. I thought like, you know, I think I was on hold

maybe for one line for Blue Bloods or something and I didn't get it or whatever. But I just said, oh, I have a, I have a Broadway audition

this week and I want to be an actor and they said, good kid we believe in you you don't have to do it that's good but it was amazing but it was thanksgiving so every single case people were just like murder they'd be like i can't do it i'm seeing my dying mutt like everyone was getting yeah yeah yeah and they just let all those murderers go that day yeah you know i i did but i was just i just stayed in the back. I said, you know what? I'm staying in the back. And then they just dismissed everyone finally.

I said, oh, thank God. Because I was too nervous to be like, I haven't. Something came up. You know, to just lie in the face of government. If you just named that play, you said I can't because this play is. Making love with a pliable penis needs me. I'm the only actor of color in it. What does pliable mean again?

It's. Like bendy. Bendy. Kind of like soft, I guess. But I think, I think we changed the title. We did change the title at my suggestion later to Stop the Men. I remember. I just, that just came to me.

Stop the Men. Yep. Good. That's a better message. I wanted to get on Laugh USA. So I wanted to talk because I loved, I saw you, you were at the cellar and you were talking about dating someone who had a kid. Oh, yes. Yes.

Now, this was years ago. This was a guy I dated who, you know, in my early 20s, I was always like, I wanted to date these older guys because I just thought like, you know, guys in their 20s, everyone's like, oh, I guess my bathroom door doesn't shut. You know, my roommates will hold it for you. You're like, ew, what? Like, you know, the guys in their 20s are like disgusting. So I was like, I'm dating older guys and that's what I'm going to do. was like i'm dating older guys and that's what i'm gonna do so i met this guy his name was paul and he was a lawyer and then on our like third or fourth date he told me he had a daughter third okay because that seems like a first date yeah yeah where did you meet him originally i met him at my old bar i used to go to when i after i would work St. Mark's, the 12th Street Ale House. What do you think the rules are? Because if it's just, if you're hooking up for the night, do you think there's need to

be a disclosure of a child? What makes the disclosure of the child necessary? What do you think the rule is? Well, the way he told me was I was playing a game, which I thought I was. Do you have kids? Yeah. I was playing a little bit of a game. I thought I was so clever, you know, back in the day.

I remember I would just go on these dates, and I can't really drink that much. I'd be, like, thinking I could drink people under the table. I'm just getting blackout drunk and becoming a huge problem. But we were taking a shot, and then we were saying a secret about ourselves. So we would take a shot and yell out a secret. Oh, God.

Yes, I was, you know, at at that time not too far away from how many secrets did he reveal before the kid this was not the first secret okay but it was but this was one of his secrets i think mine was like i was in a play i played and frank my secrets were all very deeply narcissistic narcissistic secrets your secrets are just just your your resume

one by one by one hoping someone in the bar is in the industry I'm EMC I played a Native American yes this was right around that time actually

he's older so his secrets are heavy he's like I paid for nine abortions yeah yes I think I can't even remember you know it's so funny like He's older, so his secrets are heavy. He's like, I paid for nine abortions. Yeah. Yes. I think, I can't even remember. You know, it's so funny.

Like, he must have only been like 34 or 35. But you were what? I was like 22. So it feels like that's like an old. That's a huge, that's a gap, a big oasis. Anyway, so he had, he would go, his daughter lived in Florida, so I actually never met her. But he would go visit, he would go. His daughter lived in Florida, so I actually never met her. But he would go visit her. And then we ended up just like kind of fizzling out.

So it wasn't like a whole thing where I was like I was almost a stepmom. When he revealed it, how did you feel in that moment? I felt like, oh, my God, you did have a secret. I knew it. You really took it well. You know, I was like fine with it because I thought I thought like you know who cares about dating a guy with kids like he was a lawyer he had a great like penthouse apartment that he would take me back to and I was like oh like fun I was teaching

preschool at the time so I was like I'm great with kids like that's just like another like special thing that I can do like I can work with this I was like teaching ballet I'm like I'll teach your ballet but meanwhile it's like no he just wants to fuck you he's not interested like special thing that I can do. Like I can work with this. I was like teaching ballet. I'm like, I'll teach you ballet. But meanwhile, it's like, no, he just wants to fuck you. He's not interested in a relationship. Also bonus, the kid didn't live. Like here. Do you know what I mean?

Like there wasn't like a, oh, you know, I'm going to have to see the kid right away. It's like kind of like in your head. So you never met the kid? I never met her. I never met her. Paul and I, we really did not last that long because I was just too emotionally immature at the time to be in any kind of relationship. I remember I was trying to like, I read something that said like, you know, you should ask a guy for helpless stuff because that's a good way to.

What is this, Cosmo? Yeah, something. Something I said, ask him for helpless stuff. And then, you know, that is a a way to endear him to you. So I was like, you need to do my taxes. Ooh, this vixen. Oh, yeah. Sexy.

Bring over those papers, baby. We're getting to work. That's so much work. Yes. He was like, what? No. Let me put out some music before i open up excel yeah so i just didn't know i i had no i had had one boyfriend in college and you know just a few

like little one night stands here and there but i just i thought like there was a thing where it was like you're supposed to be bitchy and then like that's part of it but i was also like deeply weird so it was like trying to hide that you know, like not let people know like how much sci-fi I was reading, you know, and be like, I love magazines. So that was like my early 20s, you know, just me as a person, just deeply confused about how I'm supposed to be like presenting myself to the world. But yeah, so we broke up. We broke up. Now you're dating? Well, yes. Well, I have a boyfriend. You have up. And now you're dating? Well, yes.

Well, I have a boyfriend. You have a boyfriend? You know. Mike Fecchione, yeah. Sometimes you go in and you're like, oh, you haven't heard. Oh, I know. So that makes me like testing the water. Yes.

How long have you guys been together? We have been together about three and a half years. Mike Fecchione. You know Mike Fecchione? Fantastic comedian. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you guys work together on the road? Do you do gigs together?

We love to do that, but since the pandemic, we haven't really. We just haven't had the opportunity. I mean, we were in Aruba together, so we do the resort down there. I want to do this show. Ray Allen. Ray. Has this, what is the club called? Aruba Rays Comedy Club.

So if you're going to Aruba you have to go to it I know someone who knows him I think oh yeah my old neighbor Barbara who comes to all of our shows oh yeah

she's friends with him oh that's so cool I think I might be making something up BJ the DJ did he do stuff a lot of stuff online during the pandemic

yes so yeah so I'll we know each other he's reached out to do it But like always With three days notice

And I'm like I can't go I can't just go to Aruba For a week And then some people Got stuck there They got COVID there Yeah I heard about that

Or they ended up being in Aruba for a long time Which I don't know I think for a regular person That would be cool For me I'd be like You'd be Aruba

Yeah Yeah well I think If you had COVID When you were there, you just kind of had to stay in an Airbnb that you weren't really by like the beach or anything. So it was like, well, the vacation's over and now you're just in like a strange home.

Yeah. Is it hard dating someone who goes on the road and you're going on the road? I mean, there must be. It is, you know, it is. I'm about to go on the road for a while and a bunch of weekends. About to do two and a half weeks about to go on the road for a while. Are you? About to do two and a half weeks and then weekends like in a row after that.

Yeah. And, you know, it's and I'm in a relationship and it's it's a daunting. It's daunting. You know, it's not fun. I actually do love alone time. I've never lived with a boyfriend before. I've been very independent for the entire my adult life. So this is and we've only lived together about it's been about a year um so originally initially when we were dating I was like oh this is great

now I have my me time and you know we would go on the road together sometimes and and it is hard and it's not fun but I do kind of love like a little extra space every now and then I love that but I love it when we're both in town and it's like we have the Sunday place we go to and doing those little fun couple things that you get to do. But yeah, we do enjoy working together. We just did a short film together, actually,

which was very fun, yeah. When you're away, one phone call a day? Not, not. Oh, no, no. Really, you'll go time. You'll take time. Oh, no, I'm multiple. Oh, you're a multiple? Oh, yeah. Okay. Please,. Oh, no. I'm multiple. Oh, you're a multiple.

Oh, yeah. Okay. I call. I'm going to call morning and night at the very least. And then if I have a thought, you know, I'll give a call, which is actually at our beginning of the beginning of our relationship. I was like, I don't I won't be texted. You know, you don't text me.

I don't want to go back and forth all day. I don't do that. But you laid that out up front. You said, just so you know, don't take this personally. I had to. I had to because I had a bad experience i've had like multiple bad experiences where you know like you have a great date and then the guy just texts you have you experienced this it's i think it's a thing where it's just dudes it's a certain type of dude i don't know if it's like a love bombing

thing but it's like it is nothing gives me anxiety more than like you go on a great date and then it's like morning beautiful like i'm sorry what i never did never did that are we supposed to am i am i supposed to check in with you i'm busy yeah my god yeah there's your text now you text with him now like like funny things and oh no no no i mean we just chat on the road we barely we honestly barely he's a very laconic texter. Mike's texts are like running to store. That's it. Wow.

Yeah. No comedy through the text. He doesn't do it. Oh, that's interesting. He does not do it. A little bit here and there. If we're like kind of going back and forth, he'll get like a little joke in there. But yeah, he's just not a big texting guy.

No. And then before we move on to the last segment, I do preschool. How long were you teaching preschool? Oh, so long. I was there. So I was working at an enrichment center. I was working there at the desk for about two years. And I was teaching dance classes.

And then I moved into the preschool department. Were you doing Suzuki dance where you're hitting the floor? I was actually, this is pretty hysterical, but was teaching a hip-hop dance class for after school which is like i mean you don't really have to have any experience to be like teaching like the nay-nay to like five-year-olds you know you just teach it but um yeah so i'm hip-hop i i haven't taken a long i was taking dance classes for a while when I first moved here. What kind of dance? It was like just mostly jazz.

Broadway? Yeah, a little. Nothing like too crazy. It was like open level jazz and then like open level. I would do like open level hip hop, but like nothing crazy. And I was never, I was always in the back. I would always go to the back. But, you know, I'm not very confident with dancing.

I just love like Working out to music Yeah it's fun But those Broadway You know When I was in Washington D.C. I was in intermediate hip hop Oh my god Good for you

And then you come to But then you come to New York Where there's Where the levels are real Yes Yeah And it's It's out of this world

They show you You know eight counts And then they move on To the next eight And you're like wait Aren't we gonna run this eight for 40 minutes? Yeah, no. And they're like, no.

Do you still go? No, it's been a long time. Yeah. You know, my frustration is I like to get like a workout in a day. And some of these dance classes, they're not enough of a workout. They're not. Because you're like spending so much time like watching. And then you're doing like the marking.

And the worse you get, the less of a workout it is. Because the more of the run-through're you're doing like the marking it's like the worse you get the less of a workout it is because the more of the run-throughs you're spending like yeah yeah it's too much it's like i'd just rather go to like a like a aerobics actually just an aerobics class or really like a bar class where you're just getting like those before the pandemic i was going to bar all the time and it was amazing bar could be fun tova did this she does it's called 305 fitness it's like dancey zumba i've heard of that i've heard of it is it fun yeah it's not not to be sexist it's not made for men right right yeah it's more i go i go to classes that are only women in me all the time but this one was like

just all the way yeah towards okay, this feels a little. And she accidentally went to one though. You just do like the same move, you know, for a couple counts or a whole song. And she accidentally went to a positive affirmations one. Oh my God. Where so for the whole, for each move would have a affirmation. You're supposed to say it the whole time. So it'd be like, you are strong.

You are great. You are strong. You are great. you are strong you are great you are strong you are great you are strong and she she said she she got through that first but she said she'd never stay again but i thought it would be fun douglas said our friend douglas said he would like to do it i think we should do it like a full affirmations zumba class and see how we if we can i'll do it oh i would love it i'll do it i would do it unironically i think this is actually really helping. I see the light again. That's the thing with acting.

You know, even comedians, those of us who have this form of acting, like, we know what it is to really buy into. Yeah. And the goodness that can be if you really allow yourself to, like, go there. Yes. But it's been so long since I have.

Yeah. Sometimes I wonder, especially, like, I haven't had a big, hard so long since I have. Yeah. Sometimes I wonder, especially like, I haven't had a big hard acting thing in a while, but sometimes I'm like, I don't know if I could like take it seriously anymore.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like that thing where you're like staring into the person's eyes, you know, and you're doing like, yeah,

you're doing those like weird movements and it's like, you do kind of have to, the walking, walking around through the space. And I could do it,

but if like another comedian friend walked in the room, I'd be like, how do you feel? I've been just walking around. How the fuck is this? Oh, I'm staring, I'm staring. It's right there. Well, let's go on to our next segment. This has got to stop.

This has got to stop. Oh, well, I've prepared. I've prepared for this. Thank God. What's your this has got to stop? Because I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, but I will tell you this. As you know, I'm a comedian, and I'm going around town at night. And it is not technically spring right now.

But as I go around town, especially on my nights home, walking from the village and I'm going home, I always notice what people are wearing and what's going on with fashion. And it's just kind of like my little, you know, I'm like, I feel like I'm out, even though I've been in like a dark room and I'm going directly to bed. But one thing I notice and it's happening more and more, I think it's a lot of these kids who have been inside the past couple of years. They're going out. I saw I saw multiple times this weekend and i know we kind of had a cold snap but even in 40

degree weather like full tank top full mini skirt no coat just out a full group of girls and i saw like i see these guys doing it too no t-shirt you have to wear a coat you have to wear a fucking coat you have to wear you have to at least wear a leather jacket if i mean even that would be ludicrous in in 30 degrees so that's my rant is it possible it was warmer earlier or you think they just said this was this past saturday when it was snowing the full day that is very cold it was i have i have i agree but i also have the opposite thing of like, in temperature wise, of like, I, this is guys up that I would have in that case is in like February, sometimes in February, you'll have like a random day that's like 65, 70 degrees.

And I always get annoyed that people that, that wear an insane coat because they're just like, it's February, it's cold. Like they didn't, they don't, they're not checking in with the earth. And so they just, but they're like wearing a snow jacket and it's like 70 degrees. Yeah. And that's, that's also bothers me. Check the fucking weather. Put your hand out of the window.

It's right there. It's right there. But you know, the thing is, and I notice this every year, it's like the first warm couple of days you always see the hoes and I'm pro hoe. The hoes go out and they have like, you know, they're wearing like booty shorts and a tank top and, you know, like a spaghetti strap. And it's like, those girls are fine. I am not downing those girls. Get your summer clothes out on March 1st.

Fine. If it's a warm snap, fine. But I think it's these like young people, these Gen Z people that haven't been, they're going out for the first time and they just are watching Euphoria, which is set in California. And they think that it's normal to just wear a tube top and fucking nothing else. It's just infuriates me. Do they look cold or are they fighting it?

They're screaming. They're like, ah, it's so cold. It's like your body is telling you a message, dumbass. It just makes me so mad. It's making me more mad than black leather pants, which I see everybody's wearing now, those too. It's like at least your legs are covered. Yeah.

This has got to stop euphoria. Euphoria. Sure. You watched it all. I did. I just finished it. I stopped at episode two of season two. So did I. I said I'm being manipulated. You watched it all. I did. I just finished it. I stopped at episode two of season two. So did I.

I said I'm being manipulated. You really are. You really are. It's not good. It was episode two for you? Yeah. I was watching it. And first, it had been a very long time from that first season.

Yeah. There was a lot of like I've lost investment. But it was like I think it was they kept doing these montages of like why everyone's life was terrible. Yeah. Right. I think it was, they kept doing these montages of why everyone's life was terrible. And when they got to that woman who used to do the dominatrix stuff, and then had a boyfriend who was really nice, and then she had a fantasy about some bigger guy killing her boyfriend and fucking her, and she started crying about it.

And I was just like, well, that's okay. Okay, you wanted a 40-year-old the rock to fuck you like that i don't have sympathy for that sure deal with that but you're crying about it yeah yeah it's just so yeah i'll tell you where it lost me it was this last two episodes of the first season when it just started getting like very bizarre with the plot line and zendaya was like now she's doing a detective thing it's like well what's what the fuck is the show? Is this supposed to be like a realistic portrayal of like teenagehood in the modern era? Because that's interesting.

But now we're just experimenting. Like, is this a music video? I wasn't sure if it was like, because they were on drugs or what, but I was like, this is horseshit and it's an hour of it. Yeah. Yeah, it's not good

um i think the theater thing there's some i think i'm done with it i think you're done i well the thing is like i'm like i don't care about anyone like any of those people could die on that show like be killed off not in real life i'm just saying any of the characters and i'd be like i don't really i think because you you do feel like you're getting jerked around so much that you're like, I don't know what to buy into and what to care about. So I don't care about anyone. And they drop things. That whole plot line with the cam girl thing does never come back. Does never come back in the second season.

So you're like, what was the point of it? Where were we going with it? They just forget that you need to earn sincerity earn you need to earn sincerity you need to earn me caring can be great performances but you're like i just don't it just feels like a manipulation and like an artsy like manipulate like it's like look how beautiful this is sex yeah and it doesn't it doesn't feel like it pays off at all it's like yeah have some have some drama yeah there's no there's nothing there and then when you think about just the further fact that they're all supposed to off at all. It's like, yeah, have some drama. Yeah. There's nothing there. And then when you think about just the further fact that they're all supposed to be in high school, it's like, well, this is strange. Yeah.

Because this is like a show that's fueled by just sex and sexiness. Yeah. And violence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one's that nice. It's just, I don't know. Our friend Chrissy had an idea of just like a normal parent on euphoria and the kid like says something he's like what the fuck did you just say to me

i'm your fucking dad go to your room right now yeah yeah right now i wanted to do one where the mom comes in the kitchen and goes like why is there glitter everywhere that's great because i had lunch with my friend yesterday it was a tuesday you know on a tuesday yeah um what i was just going to say it misses out on like you know like those magical high school shows like freaks and geeks and daria that really you know like daria is a show that's like so iconic but it's because it really like nails that feeling of like being an outcast and it's so relatable yeah the the thing that people don't i feel like sometimes during tv shows you're like we don't need these outlandish things there's like enough like like small things that are very relatable for a lot of people are way more if they

ring true or way more traumatic or way more like impacting than like so and so is fucking a drug dealer and they're gonna like you know yeah you're like i don't like that's so it's not in my life you know i don't know but i don't know it does freaks and geeks i've never seen freaks and geeks does it hold up you think i you know i haven't watched it in ages i haven't watched it in ages but i remember i remember watching it and being like wow it's really like down to earth it's down to earth and it's down to earth with like you know in the time that it was made which i guess was like the 90s like when you i went to high school in 2000 so it's like you know

i the identity then was like which little click are you going into you know and that was the thing i remember finding really relatable about it um well you've always been a big fan of james franco's acting studio definitely good and the sex class in particular that he taught. John Marko likes to try and get me in trouble. Let's go to our final segment. You better count your blessings. You better count your blessings. We end with something nice, something we're appreciative for.

Russell, do you have one? I have a quick one. John Marko, I couldn't do this podcast last week or the show, and I'm my blessing. Thank you for stepping in, doing

the sketch that I wrote. Still got to be in the show. Russell wrote it. It's such a good sketch. John Marko did it, and I saw the footage, and it was so funny and so good. And, uh, I was glad I was still, I really wanted it to be in the show.

And then I was bummed. I couldn't do it. So I'm glad that it was done. And you said it's a, it's about, uh, people is a church gathering people. What are they going to give up for Lent?

And this guy goes, I'm going to, I think I'm going to give up supporting the troops. And the whole thing is he loves supporting the troops so much. And this is a real sacrifice for him. Painful. It's a fantastic sketch. And I was honored to do it.

I was filling in. It was a Russell character. And I tried to yell. You killed it. It was great. Yell, be sincere. My blessing. Well, I should.

Kind of some news is that Fawn Sullivan, who was one of the producers on this, she's got too busy for the downside. And she's working with Ronnie Chang on his many increasingly large ventures. But Paige Asachika, who was always a producer on the podcast and also manages my social media, is our full producer now for this podcast. Paige is so fantastic. Yeah. And thank you, Fawn. And thank you, Fawn. Fawn, you did a fantastic...

Fawn taught me a lot. And Fawn, she's doing great. And I'm excited just to have Paige kind of oversee all the stuff. And I still owe her a Christmas gift. I'm so close to the thing I wanted to get, which it's almost released.

And I'm going to get it. So Paige, I didn't forget. And by next Christmas, I will count it as both gifts. Do you have a blessing? Trader Joe's. Really? I love it. I love it.

Do you ever get tired of it? Yes, I do. I don't count her blessings a lot, but I have a Trader Joe's right here. Yeah. And I used to go all the time. And then something about it. First of all, I feel when I go to a regular grocery store, I'm overwhelmed. They have so much more stuff there.

But Trader Joe's is there. I always go there still because they have the staples that I need. But I go to other grocery stores too. But I love Trader. I love a TJ's because they have the staples that I need, but I go to other grocery stores too. But I love Trader Joe's. I love a TJ's because they have stuff there that you get addicted to it. The microwavable rice. You can't get that. That is true.

You can't get that. The chocolate, the chocolate that they have there. I love it. I love it. Meanwhile, they have no green vegetables really to speak of, but I'm not getting those. Yeah. Sometimes the longest conversations of my day are with

those trader joe's cashiers they must do some kind of brainwashing to them to make them compliment your backpack yeah they really do talk they are they are sexy they're almost sexy to you like okay every time i go in i'm like well i guess a new friend has been made And I feel like it's not just the ones here I feel like when I've gone Other cities it's like something A psychotic corporate culture Like a cult almost They feel like artsy type people

Like a lot of BFA students That's the vibe A lot of different hair colors But you don't feel pretentious in a Trader Joe's because you're just at the grocery store. Yeah. You're just like everybody else at Trader Joe's. Maybe we could get a sponsorship from Trader Joe's. That would be nice.

Oh, TJ's. I would like a sponsor very badly. Oh, I bet. Do you have a sponsor for your podcast? Oh, no, no, no. We don't have anything like that. We don't have anything like that. Speaking of podcasts, give us some plugs.

Where can people find you? Oh, please check out my podcast lady journey i host it with a comedian sarah talamash we release it every tuesday it's wherever you get your podcasts and it's all about the journeys that we go on as women and those who have a feminine spirit lady journey thank you um and yeah listen to your album. Yes. You can get my comedy album, Feeling of Emptiness, on my website, katiehannigan.com slash album. Did you produce it yourself? I completely, 100% self-produced. Can you believe it? Yes.

I accidentally listed it as New Age through my distributing company. And I have not been able to correct it. Maybe you'll be number one on those charts, though. I mean, how many people apply at your age? Maybe Jet will find it. Who knows? Maybe it'll be up there with making love with a pliable penis. Are you going to put it on Spotify?

I am going to put it on Spotify. I just decided because, you know, I'm not a famous person. Oh, I don't think ethically. It's just such a bummer my album isn't there. person so i don't think ethically it's just so it's just such a bummer my album isn't there and so many my friends albums you know at at our class and whatnot where yeah i like i want to listen and it's not on spotify yeah i'm gonna put it on it will be on spotify although if you're thinking of listening to it on there please consider supporting me through some platform that pays me that's really only for people that I don't have access to get outreach to

so they can discover me in the new age category, apparently. Russell, do you want to plug, would it be April 8th is Uncle Function? April 8th,

Friday, April 8th, 7.30 p.m. Uncle Function at Asylum NYC. Russell won't be there because he will have gotten COVID a couple days before that. No, I'll be there.

The new Omnidelta variant. I'm trying to get my plugs for real this time. So this weekend, I'm going to be in Memphis, April 9th at Crackers Comedy Club, April 10th in Memphis as well. Find it on my website or write me. April 22nd, 23rd, I'm at Wise Guys Comedy Club in Salt Lake City, Utah. Weekend after that, Looney Bin, Oklahoma.

That was a real one. And then, just so you know, I've talked about it before, but I'm doing a new monthly here at Sesh Comedy Club. It's the first Sunday of every month. So the one after this will be May 1st at Sesh Comedy Club. Tickets are just $5. We'll put a link in the description. And it's called The Silver Lining. And the first one went really well.

And I think one day, if we have enough people listening, we had a lot of podcast listeners. A lot of Orthodox Jews came, which I thought was very cool. Oh, I love it. They love comedy. They love comedy. And I think maybe one day, if it goes well, we can couple it with like a monthly live thing before the show.

Yeah, let's do it. If we feel like there's a lot there, we'll try it out. So other than that, stop men. That was the name of the Q1? Stop the men. Stop the men. And one day that pliable penis is going to be stiff, but not in a good way. Not in a good way. Like a good way like it's gonna

go bad and eventually you're gonna try to ply it rigamortis it'll be dead it'll be dead this is the downside Downside