The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #84 The Other Fat Jew with Raanan Hershberg

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

Raanan Hershberg shares his thoughts on Spinoza and a recounts and incredibly brief happy ending massage. We also talk about Amsterdam sex shows, keeping kosher in Kentucky, whether an artist is responsible for the way an audience interprets them, guys who can't give straightforward compliments, and pre-show prayer circles.  You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Follow Raanan Hershberg on Instagram and YouTube Get tickets to see Raanan Hershberg in a city near you Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's monthly show in NYC (first Sunday of every month) Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the downside. My name is Jermarcus Oresi. I was just, I was gonna, I was supposed to do like a prank thing to you. What? I wanted to do like that thing I did last time where like I pretend we're ending a conversation like right as we start recording.

I was gonna do something where Well you can save it. I'll save it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did I say last time? We can't do it next week. I said like, no, Russell, I don't think white people have it the hardest. Yes, yes, yes. Welcome to the downside. Yes, yes, yes.

I'll start it from there. My name is Jim Marcus Reyes. I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. Hi. How are you doing? Good. How are you? I feel like I never see you anymore.

You're always, you're gone. You were in Oklahoma, right? I was in Oklahoma. I was in Oklahoma City at the Looney Bin. It's tough because we do this podcast and sometimes I want to be like, well, let's hang out. But we've also just made time for each other right now. Yes. But just an hour.

That's it. That's all you get. We're here with truly one of my favorite stand-up comedians in New York. Embarrassing to say. I mentioned you on a podcast the other day. And it felt very, very embarrassing. But I'm happy you're here. Yeah, I am.

Renan Hirshberg, welcome to the Dotson. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here. Thanks for doing this. Sure, sure. I made this just to have you on. We're going to end the podcast after this episode.

Can you say something negative so I can go into our theme music? Something bothering you? Something you don't like? Well, you're always on, so I was wondering what you'd be like on this podcast. It seems like you're even more on than usual. This is The Downside. One, two, three. Downside.

You're listening to The Downside The Downside With Gianmarco Cerezi You're an on person too Like Yeah We both have like If we get into the ranty thing

It becomes you know like this Yeah yeah No I'm on I mean I'm like yeah I don't like Yeah feel free to bring something To the show Today

Well I was I was in Oklahoma City. Have you ever been to the Looney Bin? Sure. That's the first place I ever featured at. Really? Yeah. Oh, shit.

I used to. They were my first feature gigs at the Looney Bin because I couldn't get work at my hometown. What's in Kentucky, right? It was like the Comedy Caravan. Uh-huh. Was that just too... Well, I eventually got work there,

but in the beginning, they see you start out, so it's like tough. You got to go to another town. That's how I feel about all of New York, by the way. You got to go to another town where they also treat their locals like shit, because then they like out of town people. You know what I mean?

So I like, I featured at the Looney Bin. I used to do all of them. It was, I mean, it was fucking, it was the, like when I think of paying my dues, I think of the club you were just at. That's so funny. I, yeah, it was, there was some tough, tough fights. I mean, Oklahoma City's better than the other ones. There's like four.

There's four, yeah. And they're all in different, it's Oklahoma City, Tulsa, fucking the one that's really tough. What is the one... What's the other one? Fuck, where is it? There's Wichita. Wichita.

And then the fourth one is the worst, but I can't remember what it is. I'll look it up right now. Fuck, what was it? It was... God, it's like just a shit fuck city. It definitely felt like an old school. Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Wichita, and it's Little Rock.

Little Rock. Little Rock. That's the tough one? I mean, they're all like, I don't know. Look. What would you describe it? Because I know we always talk about A-level clubs, B-level clubs, C-level clubs. Is there D?

I don't know. I don't think it's D. It's definitely not D.level clubs, C-level clubs. Is there D? I don't know. I don't think it's D. It's definitely not D. I mean, it's a club. Of course. And there's people coming. I'm happy. I can't wait to do Little Rock. I hope to be there as soon as humanly possible. It does. There's people there, and I'm grateful I went there.

I learned a lot. First of all, the most depressing part is the condo. So I was featuring, and they still do the condo. I was there, yeah. And you just randomly have to live with someone for a week. And if you hate them, you always see them. I was nervous for a second because it was that same situation. But also, as the headliner, they were very deferential.

Like, where do you want to go? What do you want to do? I was like, oh, cool. Well, that's the thing. I never headlined there. So featuring there was really tough because you were with these washed out headliners. Basically, you now. No, I'm joking.

Well, I said the thing is, when I was in the lobby area where they have all the, I told you, where they have all the famous comedians. Yeah. It was one of those lobbies where I was like, I don't know who any of these are. They're all nicknames. Oh, man. It's white comics with nicknames. Which is like.

Yeah. Slappy Happy. Yeah. It's hard to have a funny comic with a stage name, but if it's going to happen, they're definitely going to be black. You know what I mean? Sure. They're definitely not white.

You know what I mean? I think it's very funny. There's some black comedians that are like uh andre the comic yeah funny dan but like usually just to let you know this is exactly one time when i started comedy i was with a bunch of like black friends i was friends with comics and there was like a black and we did a prayer circle before the show and the guy goes the guy it was like me and like four other black comics you know his friends were and the one black comic was like he was like god give us the strength to be ourselves tonight just authentic and be ourselves all right big peanut you're up first

tornado tornado levon you're second i was in when, when I was in Grand Rapids, no, not Grand Rapids, Helium, one of the Heliums. And there was a black comic downstairs and he was, I mean, sold out, packed. But at some point, you know, it's the show. It's a show. And at some point he's like, Jesus gives us the strength to do this. Now, ladies, who here licks balls? Who here is licking balls? Is that your mama?

Do you lick balls? And you're like, this is wild. I know. This is wild. I just can't even imagine in the middle of my setup, I'm like, but you know what? Jesus is the way. But that just shows you that black people

have a much better relationship with religion a lot of times because they're not prude. They can be like, I've had so many black guys just talking about just fucking a girl in the ass with a big cross swinging from there you know i mean it's like it's like connect with white people just like oh you know what i mean but black people are like jesus gave me the strength to lick pussy like that doesn't like uh they can kind of you know combine the two what are your views on black comedians well i'm not a comedian so sure sure uh so i was in So

Oh What I want to say is Black comics with stage names Obviously can be great Sure I mean you got Earthquake Oh my god You got

But like I think it's just incredible Because I don't dabble in sincerity At all Or if I do It's only for me to Have a punchline that

Insults that sincerity Right right right If you both had to have stage names What would they be? Long Setup Cerese. Okay. How about you? I don't know.

I mean, I guess, what's a good stage name for me? What do you think? I mean, something loud or dewy. If I was being serious, I think it would be like a theater kid. I'd be like the other Fat Ju. The other Fat Ju. The other Fat Ju. I like that a lot. I like I'd be like the other fat Jew the other fat Jew the other fat Jew I like that a lot

I like that a lot yeah who would I theater kid spotlight something theater-y yeah something like

something with Tappy like Gimarco a 5-6-7 Cerezi yeah oh yeah yeah okay you're like Italian and Jewish right so

sure maybe do something I had a sketch series called Matzo Pizza which is pretty on the nose Matzo Pizza that's good yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, you're like Italian and Jewish, right? Sure. So you maybe do something. I had a sketch series called Matzo Pizza, which is pretty on the nose. Matzo Pizza. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, I mean. What would you wrestle?

Plumpin' Duncan. Plumpin' Duncan? Yeah. You need both words to be fat? I like how those sound together, you know? Plumpin' Duncan. What about this? You're kind of like a little autistic and you're Rain Manischewitz. Oh. I like how those sound together. What about this?

You're kind of like a little autistic Andrews Rain Manischewitz. Oh, that's good. I can't remember. Do you think of me as autistic? No, no, no. No, no, no. That was a test. The fact that you were like, well, I don't know.

If you just tell someone they're autistic, you see the reaction. If they're like insulted, they're not autistic. I see. Were you insulted? You're on the reaction. If they're like insulted, they're not autistic. I see. Were you insulted? You're on the spectrum. I had a voicemail. I had a voicemail because I was calling. I don't think you are.

I was calling an agency to see if I could take a test to see if I was on the spectrum. Really? But I feel like it was one of those things where I'm like, where I'm trying to find it

so I can blame like why I'm a bad boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes. No, I don't think you're autistic. I think you're just annoying. I can blame why I'm a bad boyfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't think you're autistic. I think you're just annoying. I don't think you're autistic. Sorry, you set up with a negative thing. I keep on wanting to do something negative

and have it go to the theme song. Oh, yeah. You can roast me. I'll get you back. But I feel like people throw around that word like crazy right now. If someone's late all the time, they're autistic. Yeah.

And it's hard with all mental illness. Wait, late? I feel like autistic people are on time. But that's what I'm saying. Like people use it for any characteristic they don't like. They're like, I think he's a little on the spectrum. Yeah. And it's hard to know because if you don't believe in free will, like I don't per se,

I think it's very easy to be like, well, yeah, everyone's flaws are a disorder in the sense that like they can't help it. Of course. And then you become like no one's accountable for anything. I brought up, I was talking to Isabel Hagen, and we were talking and I was just like, I was like, well, you know how like there's no free will. And she's like, what?

And then she like, she has this quality where she'll like, if you say something, she'll think it's, she has that kind of anxiety where you're like, you'll believe what other people say. Sure, sure. And she's like, there's no free will. And I'm like, I mean, I don't know. That's just. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Just what I'm saying. But I mean, like, I guess like scientifically there's no free will. Yeah. I mean, there's all this. I remember when I was first getting into philosophy, like in college, and it was like in the midst of an existential crisis. Yeah. Like a sustained one.

Yeah. And I remember where i was so susceptible to i i remember deeply like i really wanted to like believe in a god type yeah and uh uh my girlfriend at the time she would like i she would throw me scientists who believed in god yeah whatever and stephen hawking used to have a lot of language about god but it wasn't it but it was a metaphor he had a girlfriend who was christian at the time it all comes from spinoza who was pantheistic who talked about god but i like spinoza it wasn't god in the sense that people think and that wasn't god but it was still something yeah

it was a cohesion to the universe um and einstein talks about it too but they were all not really actually yeah spinoza hawk i mean Hawking definitely not but then there was like it was when I was in college like Hawking came forward it was like on my Yahoo news at the time it was like

Hawking says there's no God and I was at that place where like if someone said that I'd be like as opposed to just like okay well it's hard to one more this way

one more that way yeah it's hard to be like there is a God and he gave me Lou Gehrick's disease like it's hard to there's a cruel i wouldn't ask anyone in a wheelchair what their religious you're like no obviously for you there's no god but for the rest of us

for the rest of us you know we're kind of grateful about stuff um but uh yeah well spinoza said with free will which obviously said if you threw a rock in the air the rock would think it's flying and that's like to me what free will is it's an illusion but it's an illusion you have to it's it ends up being a semantic argument because you still have to believe in it but i think it's good to take a step back i think in situations where it is important to take a step back there's like there's a life the illusory life you have where you believe in free will and then it's important to take a step back and at certain points and realize oh no one really is making choices and it allows you to be

a more empathetic person i agree with that the republican party is completely based on the notion of free will to the point of i wrote got over my bootstraps and self-made man and it's like there's no self-made of course like everyone's so dependent on their nurturing when they're younger sure the fact that you don't even like put that as a currency you know i mean like but like i worked my ass like my ass off it's like yeah but you're like mom sat you on your lap and said you could be anything you wanted that's that's not self-made that's better than growing up with like millions of dollars you know i mean sure um i i have i my parents had a little

had some money sure and i think about it i think about it more you know there's especially like in the online world there's definitely a lot of like, well, if your parents had money, fuck you. Yeah, yeah. And,

and it's kind of a thing, where I, I also feel like, well, it's not like this helped me in stand up very much. No. Financially, sure,

but it's not like my, my, my stepdad knew, Yeah. you know, the booker of a club. Right. And it's definitely not, gonna like,

it doesn't make you talented, or not talented. Just like, some people, like some people are like, look at the, people like look at those comics, like fucking Julia Louise Drives came for money, but she's also really talented. She went to the private school, close to my private school. But she's like, but like whether you're rich or not does not define whether you're talented. Yeah. It does not define whether you're talented or not.

At least online we live in a world where like talent doesn't seem to matter i mean yeah especially on like the twitterverse there's a lot of like yeah is this person talented like no one really says unless it's someone who like has done a bad thing no one's ever like they're not talented right yeah right exactly but then but it was a self-made thing i saw this chart that was like there are no self-made billionaires is gonna disprove my point a little but they're like they're honest and then i had elon musk and it said heiress to the apartheid diamond whatever and we're like all right that's a good one but then it said jeff bezos got 300 thousand dollars seed money from his parents and i'm like yeah but he took that and turned it into a 175 billion dollars that's pretty good there's There's plenty of people that got that loan that did not.

Yes. I feel like the difference between $300,000 and $175 billion, that is literally the equivalent of like my mom lent me $20,000 and I made $50 million. And people are like, oh, it's all rigged. The rich just get richer. It's like that's pretty good. I would bet that over the years,

especially if you look at my college and everything, my dad and mom have probably given me that much. What, $300,000? Yeah, like over the trajectory of my life. And I just went to Europe and got a happy ending massage and spent it on food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got nothing.

I got this podcast. You got a happy ending massage? I did get a happy ending massage. Where? What country? This was in Amsterdam. But you can just get a, well, I what country uh this was in amsterdam but you can just get a well i guess you can get it yeah yeah i got i actually did that i got a

well a hand job there recently it's so funny we're both yeah you're a paid one or just a someone was into your comedy no no i'm not just bragging about it i'm not just like i fingered a girl under the bleachers no we're talking about like no no, I went when I was 21. I desperately, I wanted to be with a sex worker because I was curious. I thought it would be fascinating. Yeah. And, but I was far too scared of STDs. Yeah. Well, that's why I got a handjob recently from there.

Yeah. But I tell you, it's fucking, it's crazy because first of all, it's illegal, right? What? In Amsterdam? It's prostitution. It's legal. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which the minute something's legal, I'm like, well, I guess it's not wrong. Sure, sure. Yeah. That's been my morality this whole time. But it is crazy going there because, like, I walk.

There's just women behind those windows. And you just have to. The red light district. Yeah. You just go up to one. Have you been to Amsterdam? No. No.

I didn't want to have sex, though, because I'm, like, afraid of, like, I don't want to. I'm afraid of STDs, you know. But I was like, I you just go up to one. Have you been to Amsterdam? No. No. I didn't want to have sex though because I'm like afraid of like, I don't want to, I'm afraid of STDs, you know? But I was like, I'll just get a hand job. Yeah. You know what I mean? That was my thinking.

And then Adrienne Appalooza was with me and she was like, but that's such a, I mean she wasn't with me when I was getting the hand job. But she was like, that's such a rip off. You can just do that yourself.

And I'm like, it's not the same. Yeah, it's not the same. Isn't there a thing, there's a, some people they, they sit on their hand to make it numb

and then it feels like someone else is jerking it off. You're still going to feel, I know it sounds crazy, but you're still going to probably feel a little lonely when you do that. I think one of my things with sex toys, I had a flashlight in high school, I think. And I would put it, this is intense, I would put it between the mattress and the holder thing and I would like fuck the flashlight doggy style,

essentially. Yeah. And I see, you know, I've enough money. Does the flashlight have an ass? You can get an ass. I got the vagina one.

Right. But you can get an asshole. But can you fuck it? I mean, like, is it possible that the vagina, you're behind the vagina? No,

no, there's some, there's some. There's all sorts of stuff. I remember when I was in Germany, in the bathroom, you're behind the vagina? No, no, there's some, there's some. There's all sorts of stuff. When I was in Germany, in the bathroom, they had something called a pocket pussy. And it was just like, you fill it with water. And it just, it's essentially just a sleeve.

Yeah, what do you mean in the bathroom? Like in the bathroom, they had vending machines. Like they would give condoms or tampons. Oh, you could buy it. Whenever someone has like a giant, like I got a vagina that's robotic and I can fuck you know in

every night I'm just kind of like talking to women is not that bad my worry is like the there's like a fleshlight where

it does the the pumping too you just like put it on your lap and it essentially blows you or whatever they call it and I'm just like

something about it's like I worry then I'll just do that for i'll never have sex again yeah i'll just i'll just coming will become increasingly just like like the thing i get done in the morning and it'll lose its magic but it's also like i you know i definitely did the after thing a couple times but like i do realize too like emotion and sex motion makes sex like what it is like sure. Not having emotion and sex gives it,

I don't even know if I feel necessarily, maybe I feel a little gross, but it's just mechanical and sad. If no one's crying, it's just like. Yeah, exactly. So how was, was it a massage and a hand job or just? Just a hand job, yeah. So you go in the room,

and did you pick someone you were attracted to? I came quickly too. That's the problem with. Like is there kissing? That's the problem with like coming quickly. You end up ripping yourself off because I spent like $150. God damn it. I really gypped myself. That's why they probably can't like schedule people

because they're like I don't know how long this is going to last. Well there's definitely a time limit. You can't go too long. Sure. So you did you pick so like did you go window shopping a bit like this is the one. That's the part that's bad. But you're like, oh, I can just point to a woman and get a handjob from them. Did any of them have lines?

Or they're just there? If they're in the window, they're free. Yeah, it was black if there was no line. But it's crazy. It's Amsterdam, so the red light district is not a grimy place. There's families in there. They have a weird... I left zipping up my pants while a child with a balloon was walking by.

Yeah. And the balloon was a condom that he found on the ground. But it's... Was there a condom for this? Not for a handjob. Not for a handjob. For blowjobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, I'd rather do a handjob, no condom, than a blowjob condom. I've never gotten a blowjob with a condom. No. No, yeah. It does not sound... That sounds like I wouldn't... Unless you got the hand involved, I wouldn't finish. One time

I got a happy ending massage and I came really quickly, like in the beginning. I'm seeing a pattern here. Sometimes it's prostitution. I get too nervous. She didn't wear a glove or anything. No, but I just sat there. I had to sit there on my own cum while I was getting a bad massage for like 42 minutes.

It's supposed to be a happy start. She came quickly. Then she did the rest of the massage while you... There was no clean up. She's just using it as the oil. I can't remember if it's a mutual friend or I don't want to...

I think we know, but maybe I know. Say the name and address. There was someone, but maybe there's someone I know. I'll say that. I think that they talked about having a happy ending thing, and the person putting a giant, like, you clean your bathroom. Oh, it's you.

Okay, okay. I couldn't remember if it was you or her. So the one in Amsterdam, I wasn't sure if it was a happy ending massage parlor. I assumed it was in the district, but they brought me in the room, and it was just a mattress on the floor. And again, like I still had this nervous, like she was massaging me. I'm naked.

She's massaging me and like getting low and low to my ass. But I was terrified. Like, what if I turn over and she goes, ah, what? Get the fuck out. I was scared. Yeah. And so she's just like eventually she's getting so close to my ass so i'm like this has to be i'm levitating off the fucking mattress you can tell

they're like squeezing her ass and like yeah you can tell like it's like it's not usually not gonna have that issue but then she takes like uh and i didn't pick this person it was like a massage part so it's just like a sign from spinoza and uh hands off really quickly and and it's all part of the universe and she puts on like a glove that goes all the way to her elbow just to show like how how little she wants to do yeah the lube is like in a big ketchup bottle and at some point she says do you want me to take off my shirt and i'm like okay and she just like takes it off but she does this over me like it was so unappeal it was so mechanical it almost it almost made me go soft no it's awful

because it's like sex is like you really do need emotion whether you're like whether you're even like really have feelings for the person you need emotion on some level just hooking up with people that's why a prostitution is not it's i mean i i did it but it's like it does it is like uh like we saw a live sex show in Amsterdam. I saw one too. Yeah. I thought it'd be really fun. It is some sad shit. But in my head,

I was imagining like two weird, like two people having an awkward moment and then fuck it. I'm like, hell yeah. I want to watch that. But it's all this stripper mechanical bullshit. They're pumping to the beat. They're pumping to the beat.

And so it's not even fucking, it's just gymnastics. And he has this dead look on his face. And I'm like, ah, it made me hate like everything. Did he finish or does he just go off? I don't think they ever finish. Yeah. It was very.

They're doing like eight sets a night. Yeah. And they're probably some people are injecting things. I like the comedic ones more. Like there was I think I did where I went on stage. She went to Marker and her pussy and like drew. Yeah. Like this is also on my chest. Yeah. Yeah. where I went on stage she put a she put a permanent marker in her pussy and like drew yeah like the Mona Lisa on my chest

yeah but it's so like it's just so like mechanical cause I I just want to see like two people sitting down having a conversation

and it just slowly leads to sex a three hour show you want to hear like a really good acting play two hours and 15 minutes is talking I guess I was like

I think I just want to watch people have sex where they don't realize I'm there it's like this is not They definitely know people are watching I saw there's this place called The Box here And they do like kind of vaudeville type stuff It's very sexual though

The show starts at 3 in the morning Yeah And the funniest thing this guy I guess his bit is he fists his own ass But he couldn't do it that night Oh really And you saw him like try And then like, you know,

shake out his wrist a little. Was he apologizing? No, but it just like, it was like a singer like cracking on a note but he couldn't get his hand all the way in his ass. And after the third time

he was like, you know, pretended like kind of danced it off. Jesus. But he failed. He couldn't do it. Oh my God. He couldn't do it.

Which is weird, because you don't think the asshole is getting tighter in his profession. You think it would get easier as it goes along. Maybe his hand is infected. It's getting swollen after all these shows. It's like the O.J. Simpson trial. There's a woman.

She made a martini inside of herself, and then someone drank it. Oh. I didn't drink it. I don't know if I would. were you doing comedy in the show were you just watching this is the show i did with jessica fry our sketch team member called clown bar where we did earlier in the night we did like a theater piece gotcha um so so wait i just want to get this because are you sitting in a chair for this hand it's like it uh a, you're on like a bed, yeah. So you're lying on a bed. And how long, how quick are we talking?

Because you're not hard right away, so she's got to do something. Oh, no, I think I was just kind of exaggerating. I don't know, it probably took about, but I do get, you know, like it's like, I'm so used to foreplay. So when there's so little foreplay, I'm like, whoa. Of course.

I'm usually used to like, you know, 45 minutes and then we have sex, you know what I mean? I like to run a couple jokes. Yeah, so little foreplay, I'm like, whoa. I'm usually used to 45 minutes and then we have sex. I like to run a couple jokes. So I was like, I don't know. I come pretty quickly because I'm not... And how much money? It was pretty cheap, I thought. It was like 50 bucks. 50 euros.

What's the conversion rate right now? Probably like $57 or something. Well, I do... Before we get to to your i want to say i had a um i got an an email from an angry audience member from this week at the loony bin at the loony bin how'd it go by the way uh it was i have a lot of respect that you're doing it it's it makes you a better comic yeah yeah you know it's it's like I've been doing the road this year. It's great. Like 10 weekends in a row, and it is fucking hard. Well, I see the loony bin of the place, especially when you're in New York for a while.

It's like taking your astronaut helmet off in space. You're like, oh, we're outside the bubble. Yeah. Oh, a lot of these jokes don't work. But that's why, listen, I came up at LOL Comedy bubble. Yeah. Oh, a lot of these jokes don't work. But that's why, listen, I came up at, I came up at LOL comedy club. Yeah. Which I've,

I've had, I've had a comedian. Born in the darkness. You know, once a comedian, once a comedian told me, he's like, don't tell people you work that club.

And I'm like, man, that's why I can do this. Yes. Cause that's tourists. It's tourists and it's rowdy. And yeah, you can go super blue and be an idiot and kill

but you can figure out your version of killing with people from different parts of the world that's smart I love clean comics but just almost I guess counterpoint it's like you learn that well blue will save you in some rooms where you have

nothing else in common and that's like an important thing to have. But like so much of like when you go to the loony bin, you go, oh, I didn't realize this joke is based on a shared value system. Of course. And it's okay for a joke to be based on a shared value system.

What's not good is that you're so entrenched in the bubble, you don't realize it is. So the loony bin allows you to kind of be like, okay, that joke is a joke that's only going to work in a coastal place. And that's fine. I'm fine with that. I honestly think if you only do jokes

that work at the loony bin, it's not going to be that great. But it's important to at least know the difference and have most of your stuff be stuff that can work anywhere. And it's good. It's pushy, like, where i have some political bits or you know about things that are more hot button it's like can i work in a concert is the joke funny enough that everyone in this room disagrees with me yeah like which it should be like those

are the best jokes like yeah and you figure out and you figure out how to like i remember jim jeffries he's famous for his like gun control bit or whatever and he said he would run it in all these conservative places and that helped him understand what are all the counter arguments yes and that's how he made the joke kind of if you can have a joke that has good logic and is funny it's great yes and it's like to me the jokes like that are the best are the jokes where you bring up an issue that's divisive, but the punchline is something where you're like, oh, we're all like that. You know what I mean? Like something where you're...

I mean, I think that's almost all good art where you have these ideals, but your emotions and your behavior contradict your ideals. Which is why comedy has become so bad lately, is that people are on stage just kind of saying their virtuous ideas, but that's not funny. Yeah. That's not the fallibility of being human. You're just right.

It's not funny. Any kind of comedy that makes, I mean, maybe this is too hard to rule, but I am of the mindset, if any of the comedy is to make you look good as the comedian, that's bad comedy. That's not what comedy is.

Yeah, and then it gets to the point where people are doing empowering comedy. That's not what comedy is about. To the point where people think it's bad. I saw Jessica Kirshen, one of the best. I saw her tweet today. Someone was angry that she was fat shaming herself. Yes, yeah. In a joke. I saw Jessica Kirshen, one of the best. I saw her tweet today. Someone was angry that she was fat shaming herself. Yes, yeah.

In a joke. I saw that too. And you shared that clip with me. You thought it was such a funny. Oh, it's such a funny clip. And it's like you don't know what comedy is. You don't understand that. And the really pure comedy is, I mean, it sounds so preachy or stupid.

But it's weird because I hate virtuous comedy. But I'm actually very virtuous about what I think comedy should be because I actually do think in a corny way it does unite people in the sense that it transcends these trivial differences and goes, oh, yeah, you're right. I do have these hypocritical feelings like everyone. It brings people together. But I think the issue, like Joe Rogan is such a perfect example where it's like part of the problem is, Joe Rogan, go talk crazy shit all you want. Talk your conspiracy theories. Who gives a fuck? But because of the internet and social media and podcasts, you start to have this gigantic following. And a huge chunk of them are some of the biggest fucking idiots in the world.

And they start taking your comedy or you're just like random musings and they start like people build political platforms off of it it's it's like comedy that that's the problem that you have a bunch of people taking this as the word of god or they take it as hate speech or encouragement for their own hateful shit like yeah jessalynick, who I love, has fans that I'm sure are fucking monstrous people. Yeah, but you can't. I think liberals, which I am one, reluctantly, I think liberals, I think they fall into a problem a lot more than the right sometimes where they think if someone misinterprets art, it's the fault of the artist. Yes. And that's like a huge problem.

Like, they're like, well, you shouldn't say this. It could be taken the wrong way. To the point where a lot of times they'll deliberately take something the wrong way. Of course. They'll be like, what did you mean by that? Even though you know. Yeah. Like, I remember someone tweeted, I think when that fly fell on Mike Pence's head.

Yeah. Someone was like, his one black friend or something. And then someone was messaging, like, it was like a whole attack. I forget who it was. But they were like, do you think black people are the same as flies? And it's like, you know she doesn't think that. Like, you know that she's not like, ah ah finally a joke where can i express my view that black people are equivalent to flies it's like so people will deliberately

misunderstand something to get offended but yeah i don't like i think it's not up to the i think it's dangerous to like because then what happens is you start thinking well if this art can be misinterpreted misinterpreted I can now make it really overt. I have to make it overt and not be misinterpreted. And that's not fun. That's not fun. It's not subtle, which is really enemy of art, which is not subtlety. And wokeness very much is enemy of art because wokeness is basically saying, I'm so outraged, I'm going to beat you over the the head with this which is really the enemy of art

because art needs to be subtle I can't the problem is with the word woke I just feel like it's come to mean I try to avoid even saying the word

at this point because then all of a sudden you sound like Bill Maher that's how woke you are you're offended by me saying woke that's how much Bill Maher's new special

is called hashtag adulting someone kill me someone fucking put a bullet in my. Yeah. But there is this thing where it's like we were just talking about this before. The thing of the confusion of agreeing and and people just interpreting that as.

Oh, because I agree. It's funny. Yeah. Like like instead of like there's not a physical reaction of laughter. Yeah. It is literally being like it shared. It shared value. yeah yeah it's it's the gree is the laughter the point i'm i mean like i'm not the one who said this but it's a good it's a it's a very good point like comedy shouldn't be you up there going racism is bad comedy should you be up there going

we're all a little racist and here's how i'm racist you know i mean that's what comedy should you be up there going, we're all a little racist, and here's how I'm racist. You know what I mean? That's what comedy should be. When you're up there just being like, raising your hands, like, yeah, we all agree with that, but it's just not funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if you're right, it's not funny. Like, comedy's about being aware of human fallibility,

not, like, virtuousness, you know? Yeah. So I do think that shit kind of, like, and that's why so much comedy is bad. Like, Joe List on the special came out, he has a great, just a perfect, like, joke in the beginning, which is what I think is a kind of ideal joke, where he's, like, talking about how with the mask issue,

he agrees with whoever he's around, you know? So if he's around people who are, are like uh uh wearing masks he's like man i saw this alt-right nazi uh-huh not wearing a mask on the street and then if he's around people without masks he's like i saw this lib fucking cuck wearing a mat you know and it's like i just agree with whatever people right i could not have been happy when the airplanes took masks away and like on twitter it was like that was not the view yeah i know yeah but that to me that's like the perfect joke just admitting your own of course and by to me that's like the perfect joke just admitting your own of course and by the way that's

the kind of joke that would work anywhere because like everyone and that is the kind of joke that does kind of like in a way does bring people together by being like okay yeah maybe I voted for Trump maybe I voted for this but we all are aware of universal feelings of hypocrisy

and cowardliness and those are the jokes that are for sure you know well i want to uh because i do want to hear a little about kentucky because i don't know any but i just want to read this so i got this this was the this was the night that i did the show so there's an early show older couple in the front row man did not laugh a single time and i tried talking to them i tried talking to them and at some point they said they have kids and i was like oh staying together for the kids and then i said how old are the kids and she was like she said she said to him don't tell him and then i and i was not doing well at this point and i was i was just like i was like oh is that because

the kids are old or something and And then I made some, I joked for like maybe 10 more seconds. I'm not like a, I wasn't driving them into the ground or anything. That's not really what I do. But then I got this email. Fuck, fuck. Here it is.

So she wrote me from the email on my website. And normally when I get these emails from my website, I get excited because rarely they come in and they're usually like a booking, a someone could offer. Subject, stand up. I was so looking forward to a night out. I live for being able to laugh.

I have... Out of the way, I'm like, what a stupid bitch. I have struggled with quote unquote things in life. Laughing is all caps. So important to me. Made the big mistake with agreeing to a front row seat. Was made fun of and sent into a downward spiral. Now again, you gotta understand.

You're not Top Gun, bitch. And I wasn't like, you fuck, you suck. I didn't go Kramer on these people uh if i read this written by anyone else i'd say you're being a big pussy cry baby and to get over it it's embarrassing if i read what i'm saying to you right now but i'm not someone else. If I was self-aware.

But you know what? I'm not self-aware. Here's the best. She says, it's embarrassing to say I can't. I guess I get Will Smith a little more now after being very critical about him.

Oh, I'm sure she was. Oh my God. That's, wow. It's also just very funny. It's like you sure she was. Oh my god, that's wow. It's also just very funny it's like you maybe criticize Will Smith online, probably because she's more racist than... But what did you say? I don't even understand what you said. You just asked him questions or you just made fun of them for not laughing? I made fun of them. Like, I talked

to them. I joked about them being old and I think I used like an old line of like, congrats on surviving the 1918 flu. Yeah, yeah. An old joke that they were frankly too young for the joke to really work. Right, right. And that was it. Yeah, yeah. An old joke that, they were frankly too young for the joke to really work. Right, right. And that was it. That was it.

That was it. Yeah, it's so, yeah, it's so bizarre. I mean, that's the kind of person who would not have enjoyed anything. I don't, it's weird, it's not weird that people don't like comedy. It's weird that they think they're gonna like it.

Well, it's weird because she lives for humor. She said she lives for it. She lives to laugh. She lives for it. She lives to laugh. The question is what makes her laugh so, like what makes her really laugh? Or maybe she doesn't. I would bet that she doesn't like to laugh. She likes to go like.

I mean, it's just the fact that she thinks it's unique of her to even mention that she likes laughing. Like I'm the kind of person who really likes happiness and I like joy and that makes me interesting that I like joy. And I've suffered through things. I've had things. Unlike a lot of people, I've had some times that were not filled with joy. I also like shelter and drinking water.

These are the things that are interesting about me. I mean, she just seems like you should have gone on harder. That would be like a restaurant. Like, you'd be like, I love food. I eat, like, be like a restaurant. You'd be like, I love food. Yeah. I eat like three times a day. Yeah. But it is funny that at the end of that

she's just like, I am now pro-assault. I am now, it is amazing that she goes from going like, if I read this from someone else I'd get over it, but I'm not.

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Must be a beauty insider. See terms at sephora.com for complete details. So you grew up in Kentucky. Yes. What's the Jewish, any Jews there? Or were you the only one? No, I mean, we're a scattered tribe. We fled the Holocaust.

We couldn't be picky, you know? You get Kentucky on the visa, you can't be like, I'll stay here in Auschwitz, you know? Sure, sure. We got a... I love some bit, Auschwitz or Kentucky, fuck. Yeah, I know. I was just totally doing my bit. Auschwitz or Kentucky. Fuck. Yeah, I know. I was just totally doing my bit,

but trying to make it conversational. But it's hard not, because that's also my opinion. You know? You never have that where you're like, I don't want to run a bit,

but that joke is my opinion. I'll slide into it with no shame. Yeah, we all know. And... But when I was in Oklahoma City, and that's what some of these... I mean, talk about not being part of it.

Sometimes they'll be like, hey, how's it going? And you respond with your five minutes you're working on for late night. How's it going? I'll tell you how's it going. Well, social distancing was good for Italians. How's it going?

I went to college for musical theater. But that's one of the things about doing some of these loony bins. No juice. No juice there. Maybe on the lineup with me. No, that's someone there was the one time I haven't experienced a lot of

antisemitism in my life, but like that was the one place where someone was like, well, you're going to Jew me out of that for like, I'm selling a shirt or something. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

I, I had a show recently where I said something like is what's, what's fun to do in Batavia. I was near Chicago and someone said like temple, like go to temple or something. And I was, I was like, okay.

Or, or I did a joke of said, I'm Jewish. I said, I'm Jewish. And people laughed. And I was like, Oh,

was that obvious? And a woman in the front row at the cellar, I'm McDougal went, yeah. And I was like, did you just have your nose? Maybe that's the thing. They might've been Jewish.

That's the thing about Jews. We don't all look Jewish. So, like, I'll walk down the street and say awful things. And if you didn't know I was Jewish, you'd be like, man, anti-Semitism is coming back. Because I'll just be up there just like, fucking, I hate Jews. They're the fucking worst. Sure, sure. You know what I mean?

The Hasidic must stop you, though. Yeah, they stop me. You look like you just left. Yeah, exactly. But I'm saying, like, if you don't know enough about but i'm saying like if you know when you don't know enough about jews to know to have judar sure you might be like wow that guy was really anti-semitic you know what i mean i actually truly believe me being jewish is the only thing keeping me from anti-semitism i honestly think that like i did a show last night for jews and they're just

the worst they're the worst crowds they're just entitled worst. They're the worst crowds. They're just entire... Russell Washington. I have no opinion. Russell. But anyway. But wait, was it a temple show? Oh, sorry. No, but it was a bunch of Orthodox Jews at a West Side Comedy Club,

but they just suck. If you go to a group of fucking, you know, priests or nuns, it should be terrible too. Anything super religious is gonna be a real... Any homogeny is always a fad. My favorite,

I might have talked about it before, but I was at LOL, and sometimes we get these groups of hasids coming in and usually just the men and i it was early and i said it was like a 1 a.m show and i was like do you guys smoke pot and and the city stood up he said no but we'll sell it and i was like jesus christ man you can't say that i know you know hitler they don't mind they don't mind. But they don't mind. They don't mind. Like, they don't mind the jokes. I know. Hitler, like, saw when he, like, had his, like, I want to kill.

He saw a chassid walking down the street. And to be fair, they do kind of look like they're up to no good. They're, like, in a rush. I mean, they're just in a rush to go to synagogue. But he just saw them. And he's like, ah, they own the world. And then he wanted to kill all of them. And it's like, yeah, you should have just stuck with chassids.

Every one of them fine. Oh, my God. Jesus. Good, good, good. Just just stuck with Hasid. Everyone would have been fine. Oh, my God. Jesus. Good, good, good. Just a joke. Just a joke, everyone. It's going to be spliced. It could also kill Reformed Jews.

Just not conservative. But were you in a very Jewish community? Yeah, I was friends with a lot. Actually, Hasidic Jews I was friends with. There's a Lubavitcher community in Louisville that I liked a lot. What does that mean? It's a type of Hasid who's like kind of converted more. Most Hasids are kind of in their own little world, and the Lubavitchers kind of do more outreach to other Jews.

So they're more like they try to kind of get other Jews more religious. I have a question because my girlfriend grew up in a chabad community and you both have a lisp is that a jewish thing do jews have lists more often no well i didn't grow up in a chabad community but you grew up with jews i'm just wondering if like jews have lisps that's a good point let me think me her that's my sample size. That might be it. I'm trying to think of other Jews' lists. I mean, like,

was Matt Walden a loony king? Comedically, it's, comedy's one of those, it's wonderful in a certain sense where, like, anything different about you can be funny. I don't know

because my list is like, I've tried to do jokes on stage about it, but I don't know. I don't think. Ashton Womack has some great jokes about his list. Yeah, I've tried to do jokes on stage about it, but I don't know. Ashton Womack has some great jokes about his lisp. Yeah, I have a couple, but the problem is, I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think my lisp is that big. What about the H's? You say H's in a weird way. H?

You say human. Human. Now you fixed it, but you have a lot of oomen. Oomen, really? You skip the H. Well, you know what I do do I have a weird impediment I overemphasize T

I go Manhattan you know but I I've got choices on my list some of them work but I guess I don't know

maybe I'm maybe I'm just maybe I'm wrong about this it might not be bad enough like I don't know I don't think just like

I don't think it's as noticeable as like I don't think it wouldn't be like, oh, he needs to comment on it. Yeah, yeah. There is that fine line of like. That's what I'm saying.

And I don't mind doing jokes about my list, but when I've done them, they don't always get it last because I feel like the audience isn't always thinking about that off the top of their head. I realized at a certain point, I was like, I can't do tall jokes.

Yeah, I'm tall. I have some things that about life but i'm six foot four it's not enough to be like right right monez yeah yeah it's tall enough to do a tall yeah i mean but i could be wrong maybe i sound like fucking daffy duck or whatever i'm saying daffy duck was a very respected comedian um so so you you grew up in this in kentucky did you like kentucky Your family's still there? No, they moved to Tacoma, Washington. Oh, Tacoma.

I did Tacoma Comedy Club. Yeah, Tacoma's great. But what was the question? Sorry. Did you like Kentucky? It's so funny that you have questions written down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it says just, you know, it says sober, sister derm, dermatology,

Kentucky, third grade teacher, fringe festival, cat, hand jobs. And it says that three times to make sure I hit that. Sorry, what was the question? Downside's about Kentucky, growing up in Kentucky. Downside? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I like Louisville. Louisville is like a cool town.

It's not like Kentucky is like Louisville's snobbish towards Kentucky the way other people are snobbish towards Kentucky. You know what I mean? So Louisville's pretty, I actually really love Louisville. That was a tough thing about like, I was always like, should I make jokes about being, you know, growing up in Kentucky? But a lot of it kind of I think it's funny,

I know you're a comedian because it's like, what do you think of this? And you're like, well, I've tried jokes about it before. Well, just sometimes we'll feed into a stereotype that's not accurate. Sure. Which is that like Louisville, I mean, it has like a liberal mayor. It's like a liberal town. And that, you know, people from the north, they think the south is all like, you know, homogeneously the south.

But the truth is like the cities can be liberal. I mean, I'm not saying they're super liberal but like it wasn't like a redneck town yeah yeah i mean hunter s thompson's from there he's not exactly like sure you know oh that's famous muhammad ali's from there you know i mean like like it's not like you know um so i liked it a lot actually i don't know what the downside was i mean uh i love living there um i mean there wasn't a lot of actually. I don't know what the downside was. I mean, I loved living there. I mean, there wasn't a lot of Jews. We kept kosher, which was annoying,

because there's no, like, kosher restaurants. And were they kosher? Like, were your parents, did they believe in all the things? Yeah, though we would eat out, actually. You just wouldn't eat meat out. Yeah. I mean, if we couldn't eat out, we couldn't eat anywhere, you know. But we didn't eat meat out.

So I hated, we'd go to Chinese restaurants couldn't eat anywhere You know But we didn't eat meat out So I hated We'd go to Chinese restaurants Which Chinese restaurants Or Asian restaurants Without meat I think are just like I mean now they're better

They have like better things Yeah tofu can be good I know But back in the day It was just so depressing Going to like We'd go to like a Thai place Without meat

I don't know I just find it so And you can't eat any of it Because you can't eat any of the meat You can not eat any of the meat No Because it's not kosher It's not kosher It's not prepared Where they pet the cow And I just find it so... And you can't eat any of it because you can't eat any of the meat. You're not allowed to eat any of the meat? No, because it's not kosher. It's not kosher.

It's not prepared. Where they pet the cow before they kill it. Yeah, they pet the cow. They negotiate with the cow. They say, you know, are you sad? Do you want another day? No, they use a... It's called a shakita knife. It's a knife that's very sharp that they slit the throat with.

I do admire that. I mean, I think we should all be vegan morally, ethically. Yeah, yeah, sure. But if you're going to kill, I do think it's nice to put I think we should all be vegan morally, ethically. Yeah, yeah, sure. But if you're going to kill, I do think it's nice to put a little bit of thought into it. Well, that's kind of the good thing and the bad thing about religion. It was humane at the time,

but it's not the easiest way to kill an animal now. Like, you're still flitting an animal throat. It was more humane than what everyone else did back then where they just fucking, like, punched the cow till he died but like but like now i mean like a it's more humane just not to kill an animal yeah yeah and b it's like a fucking you know the no country for all men gun yeah i've seen that yeah but i always remember where there's a guy he was in the he's called anonymous for the voiceless and he's wearing the Guy Fawkes mask he's holding a TV in the subway

and it shows like something like that but they keep missing the cow or they keep missing the cow's head or then there was the image that I'll never forget it was like

the cutest chicks you've ever seen on a conveyor belt into just shredding oh it's awful it's it was horrible and the guy saw me

like staring at the screen and he was like I got him I guess I don't I'm trying to think, do I ever eat those chicks? What would that be? Isn't that kind of

just chicken fingers and shit? Whenever you have chicken nuggets, whenever you have anything. But I never have chicken nuggets. So am I on the good? Am I on the clear? Yeah, you're all good. I don't think I ever eat chicks.

Yeah, I mean, I'll eat, you know, they just curse. I eat someone that's been suffering in a slaughterhouse for like much longer. Yeah.

Something with a family and children. Yeah, but you kept eating. You didn't stop. You didn't... Did you even stop for one day? Oh, are you not vegan? So it's not like it didn't... No.

Oh, what the fuck? Yeah, well... No, I admired from afar. Did you want credit? You wanted credit for stopping and watching? I did not want any credit at all. Okay, okay. I just think I'm better because I realize I'm bad.

Yeah, okay. Slightly better. Well, I mean, it is true. I just think I'm better because I realize I'm bad. Yeah, okay. Slightly better. Well, I mean, it is true. I mean, it is like, it is definitely wrong to eat animals. Definitely. When you don't have to. When you don't have to. But the problem is it's really hard these days to be like moral and not want to be inconvenienced

at all ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know, so like, my thing with meat is like and this is i mean this is really i'm like i know it's wrong but it is easier to be healthy eating meat if you don't cook a lot like chicken is fairly healthy sure i mean that's protein so like i just find it to be in like fish definitely but i would eat fish no matter what i don't give a yeah yeah well i i told someone i was like well fish suffer less and they were like,

do they? Or is that just the propaganda you've been fed by big fish? No, I mean, fish suffer less because they're like not, I mean, do they look like they have

as many feelings as cows? But sometimes you see these, sometimes you see these. Their eyes aren't even real. They don't, they don't close. Yeah, but if you saw a human being, if you saw Stephen Hawking,

you might be like, does he feel? And it's like, well, he does. I used to have a bit about this. It's like fish, you don't feel bad for fish because they don't have eyebrows

so they don't look sad when they die. They look mentally handicapped no matter what. I have that thought where you'll see a fish in a tank and they say like, well, a fish has a two second memory.

So every time he turns, he goes, oh, look at this new place yeah but what if they don't and they're just like please let me out well that's kind of scary because that means I'm so bored that means they come to and they're getting they're dying and they're like where am I because they just

forgot and then they keep on forgetting like ah ah every two seconds I'm on a boat I just think there's a certain thing like since I could, I don't think I could kill an animal. Or, like, you know, do the real thing. I had a voice teacher who grew up in Greece. And her husband, at least in whatever little town, you were given a piglet when you were born or whatever.

And you grew up with that pig. And their version of, like, becoming the man is when you're 15 or 16. The pig was fully grown and you had to kill. Pigs live that old, huh? Your pig. Yeah, maybe it could have been a little bit younger. But it was part of the, you killed the pig that you grew up with. And I'm like, I wouldn't.

That's me leaving the community. I don't think I could. Yeah. I don't think I could. That's tough. When did you stop being kosher? Because I want to get Tova. I want to give her bacon so badly.

Oh, really? I got her to have an oyster, which she did not like. You said that so sexually. It's really weird. Whatever it takes. I want to give her bacon so badly. Do you eat bacon? I've had it, but I don't like it.

What do you like that you couldn't have when you were kosher? I mean, I love shrimp. I wanted to get shrimp. I feel like Jews really fucked up on the no seafood bullshit. Or the no seafood but no shrimp and why was it at the time was it because it was like they'd get sick because of it so they were like yeah it's all it's all like sanitary things i mean like i mean shrimp do like they are just like you know fucking little fucking bugs eating you know shit off the ocean floor but like, I think it was sanitary. Shrimp is the one I love the most, I'd say.

I'm not really into lobster. I'll eat a lobster roll. I guess because I was younger, I never got into breaking shells and shit. Lobster's a lot of work. I don't like lobster. You gotta be like, my mom, my mom's the one where I'll finish the lobster, she'll be like, are you done with that?

And then suck out. It the stuff yeah it's too much like it's yeah it's a lot of work it's a lot of work for something that's not that good yeah you know you're just using it as a vessel for butter yeah you're just like that's right it can be good the texture like i don't mind it but it's a lot i think it's too much work that's true for a lot of things like uh snails yes snails yeah what's this garlic and butter yeah escargot escargot you could literally just do that without snails it'll be just as good yeah yeah the garlic and the butter are always doing the heavy lifting yeah yeah um you is it you do have a sister that's a fraternal twin yes uh are you guys close yeah i, I'm close with her.

I'm close with all my siblings. I don't know if I'm necessarily closer to her. Maybe growing up I was, but, you know, genetically it's interesting. I'm genetically as close, similar to her as I am my other siblings, you know? That's true. I didn't think of it like that. But we obviously had the same age and stuff. No, we're close.

I'm close to all my siblings. If anything, I think I talk to her the least. How many siblings do you have? I have an older brother and older sister and then my twin sister. And do they anything in the arts? Are you the artist of the family? I'm the artist of the family, yeah.

My older sister's a pilot. So she has a cool job. That's cool. Yeah. If I had a pilot, you have a good bit about turbulence. I had a flight yesterday. We're an hour and a half, hour and a half of like straight turbulence. Oh, really?

And thank God after 15 minutes, I hate how like you'll have the turbulence. And then when it's over, the pilot comes on and goes like, we had a couple bumps back there, but now we're smooth. I'm like, I know we're smooth now. I could have used a word of reassurance during the turbulence. I really think if pilots did more of that, it would make it so much better. If they would just be like, there's going to be turbulence, it's going to be fine. But here's why they don't, I think. Because I think if they went on during the turbulence, it would be like this.

Hey, guys. We're going to be fine. And that's my theory of why they don't. I don't think well they could also just not do that yeah i always look at my thing now to calm my nerves because i have a lot of anxiety about flying which i mean you do too i imagine unless it's all just a bit i get no no of course no terrible i saw the video of the china the plane in china going down of course yeah no i'm terrified of flying. But I always, to calm my nerves, I look at the flight attendants. Yes.

And if they're casually on their phone, I'm like, oh, they've been through this and lived to tell the tale. I had a bit about this once because I did that and right when I did that, the flight attendant did the sign of the cross. Oh, no! Oh, my God. It would be funny if you're a pilot just have a funny prank just to go on the

intercom once just be like as i walk through the valley of the shadow of death just like start praying people would scream and cry it would be the horrifying i know it's really i gotta tell you i'm like i think of a couple we spend so much of our life on airplanes yeah and there's the trope of like no one wants to hear any more airplane material but it's like I'm like well sorry

this is 20% of my life now also it's I mean it's not true I mean I think it's you just have to come with a good take yeah there's no there's no hack topic

just hack execution sure I mean I feel like yeah my special has that turbulence bit but like to me it's like yeah it's not like why is tuna fish

sandwiches yeah so you know it's more about like existential fears and why people are afraid of other things so it's like sure it's always like you can always do it a different way yeah but it's just it's just it's like everything else it's like if everyone talks about it sometimes the angle's been done if you hadn't told me you did that cross bit i could see me coming up with something similar based on what i just said well and it, sometimes the angle's been done. If you hadn't told me you did that cross bit, I could see me coming up with something similar based on what I just said. And then it's like, oh, okay. Yeah, there's some, but the jokes are really the most,

I don't know, there's jokes that are the most important. I have a joke on dating apps. And I know it's like, and I do it on my special, I'm like, I know it's not like the most original thing. And dating, even my bit is not even that original. But it's very true for me.

And sometimes I'm like, oh, well, this joke is very true for me. And sometimes you almost have to think about your own, take away other comics. Just think about your own thing you're doing on stage. Especially, there's so much comedy these days. At a certain point, it's like, everyone's putting out albums now. Yeah. Everyone's, you know. I mean, sometimes instead of looking at everyone else,

you gotta look at just, oh, what do you want to say on stage, and what's that, you know? Yeah. And like, if that's true to you, you know, because to me, the jokes are the most important, and the hardest part about this

is doing jokes you actually care about. Mm-hmm. Because that's the ones that will really do the best. If you can show the audience you actually care about something, they'll go do the best if you can show the audience you actually care about something they'll go they'll go on the ride with you yeah i mean so like to me that matters more than sometimes and like whether it's original or not you know your your your your twin is a dermatologist is that true no no that's a joke oh that's a joke yeah

that's good that's good to know because i was about she hates that joke because it's not true yeah yeah yeah do is your family generally cool I was about to ask. She hates that joke because it's not true, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Is your family generally cool? You talk about your mom a bunch. Do they like all the stuff? Do they ever go, please don't say that?

They're supportive. My mom didn't like when I curse and stuff. Really? Which is unfortunate because I refer to her pussy in this latest special. Which I just think is so funny. She's told me she doesn't like me using dirty language this whole time, and I'm literally now going the other way. She's told me she doesn't like me using dirty language this whole time,

and I'm literally now going the other way. I mean, I mentioned you in my act, but it's not true. I use your name for one joke. Yeah. Yeah. The dermatologist. My friend is cheating on his wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The dermatologist thing is definitely, you know,

I don't mind, like, something not being true. For me, it's more. We had Alex Edelman, and he pretended he had an identical twin and it was just a friend of his who kind of looks like him. Oh, he does that bit on Late Night. Oh, really? I was like,

and when he told me that, I was like, I've been feeling bad because I exaggerate how many times my dad's been divorced. He had long-term relationships. But then when he told me that,

I was like, oh, cool, whatever. I don't know. No, I feel like there's a middle ground. I feel like if you're... There's a middle ground. I feel like there's a middle ground. That's like his. As an audience member,

I feel like if you find out something that a comic's built a big thing around, and then you feel like that's not true later on, there's a weird... I think there needs to be a truth in the beginning. That's what I think. I think the dermatologist thing is not true, but that's also a flip at the end of a bit.

That is true. If my dad hadn't been divorced twice, four would be bad. But if he is still married, then that's a full lie. Yeah, no, no, no. I feel like also there's just, yeah, it's a case-by-case thing.

There's not a strict rule. Alex said he has twins write him though and be like, hey, this is so funny as a member of the twin community. That's just, I mean, I don't know. It's a funny joke you have, but that's just crazy. But the thing is, no one

will know. There's so few people who will ever, and I'm not speaking on turn, he said it on the podcast, but it's no one will ever know. I guess we all know right now. Or anyone who asks about that joke. But who cares about me? If I ever see an Alex Edelman show,

I'm going to get a cop. You know, it's like, I'm not the people. It makes me wonder, did they really do this white supremacist thing in that new show? But that's the thing with the one man shows

where like, it leans on the context of there's more truth. Like that's part of the one man thing. Yeah. And then like, I could see like, you know, who's that guy,

Oprah, the author who got caught lying about his. A million little pieces. A million little pieces. What was his name? I could see one man shows like, like all of a sudden like Nanette, you find out that.

She's not ugly. Sorry. Russell. Sure. I think I'm talking to Merv Griffin here But Yeah I mean like yeah If she wasn't gay or something That'd be wild

Or if she's never been raped Didn't she talk about that the whole time She was I think assaulted Yeah She had assaulted them These days that's like your credit i uh oh god there's something i'd like to talk about but i can't sadly what i just get nervous there there is oh boy oh but wait i'll go back to the truth we can cut everything out fuck you cutting stuff out sucks what were you saying

the true uh the true thing i do think I think there should be a kernel of truth somewhere in it. Yeah. But ultimately, at the end of the day, I don't think what Alex Edelman, I actually think at the end of the day, it's not whether it's true or not, it's whether it feels true on stage.

Sure. So some things can be true but not feel true, and then that's not good. Because what you don't ever want is you don't want, when you say a premise, you don't want the audience to be like, oh oh you're just making this up for a punchline sure yeah i sometimes struggle with stories because this is very we'll leave stand of comedy behind

after this but where i like kind of one-liners where they can be absurd twists you know something something so so exaggerated for the punchline but But if I'm telling a story, sometimes you lose track of, well, is this story true at all? Right. And it's like, oh, no, it is. I just, for this one line, I wanted to go here. Yes. But this really was a situation I was in. I have a lot of true stories I tell, and then little moments get changed, and I forget what the real story was.

Oh, all the time. But I do think there should be some. But ultimately, at the end of the day, it's it's more like do you whether it's true or not i there's girls writing a joke by me and uh it was something about like she was with a magician who had a micro penis and i'm like there's something about that where it's like when you hear it you're like i see a joke coming you know yeah yeah even if it's true, you're like, you know, oh, you hooked up with a magician and they had a micro penis.

You know what I mean? It's like, I was like, maybe he's small dick. Yeah. And, but to me, it's like, even if that was true, it's more about whether it feels true or not. You know? Sure. And that's.

That's going to suck if you have that scenario and they're like, no one believes you. You're like, stop lying. But then I got to where I was like, there's a way you can sell that where it makes it true, but you have to be a little aware of it. You can't just be like, so I was with a magician with a micropenis.

You have to be like, you're not going to believe this, but I was with a magician and they had a micropenis. I swear to God. Like, you have to like... Sure. You have to convince them kind of. But sometimes if I do an hour, like, I'm like, how many more times am I going to say,

I swear this is true. I swear to God this is true. Please believe me. I know, I always watch this. And then half the time I'm lying. And sometimes if I do an hour, I'm like, how many more times am I going to say, I swear this is true. I swear to God this is true. Please believe me. I always watch myself. And then half the time I'm lying. And then they go like, yeah, okay. I know, we're swearing to God in Vegas. I swear to God this is true.

Please. But we are saying swear to God because we are trying to really, I think with comedy, it's like a fish with a two second memory. The audience knows it's standup, but every, they just keep on forgetting that you're about to tell a joke yeah so that's the key you have to keep on making them

forget you're about to tell a joke and you just go through that in like a cycle you know yeah because they always know a punchline is essentially coming but if you just like make them forget you're telling a joke then it feels real and funny you know maybe that's why they do that Jesus thing with black comics they talk about Jesus they're like no we're going to be sincere now but do you lick balls but that's why so much comedy too you're like if you don't care about

what you're saying on stage it can show to the audience so that's so hard to like care to keep on caring about something you do over and over again that's a real struggle to figure out a way to like... I mean, it's very much... It is acting, where you have to like... There's times I remember, I'm like,

turn on the acting, Joe Marco. No, I mean, it's acting in the sense that when you... I mean, I'm not a great actor, but I've acted in plays, and I've understood that. You're not trying to say the line the same way every night. You're trying to be present, you know what I mean? And that is true for stand-up. Stand-up is... The greatest enemy of stand-up is roteness and repetition and fighting that and

remembering what was funny about the joke so you can say it differently and try to convey the emotion to the audience not i'm going to say this in a rhythmic way and i'll get a laugh but which we all do i mean i still do that you know? Sure. But the best is when you find yourself, oh, I'm saying it differently tonight. It's becoming real, you know what I mean? Yeah. Because so much of comedy is just like, it's basically something funny happened

and you're just repeating that over and over and over again, you know? Yeah. So, you know, I don't know. I was just going on a tangent. I don't know. I'm on the spectrum. Um, so, you know, I don't know.

I was just going on a tangent. I don't know. I'm on the spectrum. Uh, last thing before we get to go to, this has got to stop. I think we're going to do it. This has got to stop today. So get ready, Russell. What?

Shut up. Uh, your mom's a third grade teacher. Is that true? Yeah. Yes. Did you ever take her class? No. No, no. I went to school at Jewish Day School, and she taught at, like, public school. Were you wearing a yarmulke as a kid? No, no, no. i want to call it jewish day school and she taught at like public school

were you wearing a yarmulke as a kid no no no we're conservative we weren't that fucking chewy conservative is less conservative right yeah yeah it's just funny it's just funny for the word conservative to mean like well we weren't crazy we were just conservative it's actually kind of crazy because it actually conservative is like very feminist and egalitarian it's like orthodox kind of like with orthodox like you know the men and the women are separate and the women don't do anything during the service yeah i mean but what's conservative it's like the women it's everyone's not the same you know every it's not there's not a wall it's all connected and uh and the the women can be rabbis or do stuff on stage. So it's kind of like a more liberal version of Orthodox.

The thing that's conservative is that it's conserving the deeds, like the Jewish deeds, kosher and all that. Yeah. It wants to, you know, for most of Judaism, it's about kind of the deeds themselves. That's like the core part of just doing the deeds and the faith will come later the faith is not as important as a commitment to the deeds the observances do you as as a fellow cynic and comedian do you have any respect for the deeds the traditions yes I don't follow them but i have a lot of respect for judaism

i have a lot of respect for all religions but i have a lot of respect for judaism i think you have a lot of respect for all religions well that's going too far uh i don't have a lot of respect for all religions but i understand the i definitely understand the value of religion even if i'm not religious i understand like i understand how it helps people and i do understand with judaism like the deeds i understand psychologically and that's very crucial because the more you do the deeds the more that will control your beliefs later on i just feel like sometimes like comedy i mean in a way you could say comedy you need you need the the code for comedy to poke fun at it you need like it's kind of a yin and yang in a way, you could say comedy, you need the code for comedy to poke fun at it.

You need, like, it's kind of a yin and yang in a way. But it sometimes feels like they're counter. You know, it's like if I see a tradition of splitting the men and the women, like, my comedy brain is like, well, this is insane. Of course. And I make fun of all that. But I don't know. Deeds in general, like observing Sabbath and all that but i don't know i deeds in general like observing sabbath or all that stuff i mean the truth is i feel like a lot of that shit would help me to not have to not look at your phone for a whole day sure i do think that would be i mean you know i mean and uh

and there are certain things that are you know i think good in religion i mean watch my grandpa's religious and when he was older, his wife died, he would go to synagogue every day. And I feel like it's definitely like a, a helpful thing. You know what I mean? I think,

uh, I think people who dismiss religion completely or dismiss it without any, um, conflict in their heart are kind of like, uh, not being honest to how fucked up and crazy the world is without any kind of absolutely i just think like in order to hold on to those tenets there has to be a part of you that also believes in the thing me no i'm saying i'm saying to follow

those tenets so strictly like i understand people being like well i can't get i couldn't imagine doing all these things without believing in some kind of god i think i don't know i think i think most people are agnostic in their heart yeah sure but like i don't see how you could be like a real like atheist priest unless you were just in it for the boys i mean like other other than that though i can't imagine like not having at least a hope. Well, here's the thing. Christianity is different. That's the thing.

I was saying, Christianity, one of the big things Jesus did was he picked up sticks on Saturday. That was him showing everyone the deeds don't, you're not allowed to pick up shit on Saturday. That was him showing the deeds don't matter. The faith is what's important. So the break from Judaism to Christianity

was essentially a break from the deeds. I didn't know that story. I like that. Just have the belief in faith. You know what I mean? And then Reformed Jews were like, yeah was essentially a break from the deeds. I didn't know that story. I like that. Just have the belief in faith. You know what I mean? And then reformed Jews were like, yeah, we shouldn't follow the deeds. We should just have faith. They're like, but Christianity already did that.

That was Christianity. But so like that is, it is hard to imagine a priest doing that. A rabbi, I could see it. You know, definitely people in the synagogue. My dad follows stuff, but he's agnostic. Do you have any good street jokes, Jew street jokes? I thought of one. I don't know if it's good.

Sometimes I think of street jokes. It's just a fun thing to do. I love street jokes. I rarely think of them. I know. I thought of one. It's so stupid i was like um why couldn't the jew eat out his wife on passover why she had a yeast infection do you get that i don't

because you can't have eats you can't have yeast on passover i see matt says without you i think it's funny because like the community where that would work you can't have yeast on Passover. I see. Matzah is without yeast. I think it's funny because the community where that would work, you can't say that joke. Yeah. Well, then bye. I don't know. Yom Kippur is a hot Jewish holiday where the Jews feel guilty, which is like if the Amish set a day aside to farm. That's good.

I like that. That's fun, right? That's good. Yeah. But I want to call it a street joke. That's a stand-up joke. Yeah, that might just be it. What's the deal with Yom Kippur? That just might be a formulaic stand-up joke.

I thought of a kid's street joke. What? I thought of a kid's joke once. What did the fish say to the other fish after he got dumped? What? Don't worry, there's plenty of people on land. That's great. That's a good... But how many kids have heard the term, there's other fish after he got dumped? What? Don't worry, there's plenty of people on land. That's great.

That's a good, yeah. But how many kids have heard the term there's other fish in the sea? I know, it actually doesn't work for anyone. It's literally, it's like only adults who wouldn't find it funny get it. Because I'm like, which kids would get this? I love coming up with a joke of like street jokes that cannot work with the intended audience.

Yeah, there's no street that that would work on. It's like all it is is for adults to be like, oh, that work with the intended audience. There's no street that would work on. It's like all it is is for adults to be like, oh, that's a kid's joke. I bet you the woman that wrote me, that's the kind of joke

that she wants. Or she'd write me an angry email. How dare you compare fish to people. Let's go on to our next segment. I love to laugh.

This has got to stop. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. I don't think you read the email. Do you know this segment? Yeah, I mean, it's just saying something. I looked at it. Oh, good. Just something that's got to stop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's got to stop? We're all just pretending this is the new rules. What is got to stop? No, yeah. I read it. I didn't think about it. All right, I'll go one. You start first. I'll go one.

You can go one. So we did this show last week. I don't know if you were there when this happened, but it's happened to me again last night. So many men, straight men, I assume they're straight, cannot compliment you after a show. And I imagine can't compliment their friends either without doing this. They think it's gay, yeah.

They need to do. So this guy, I did this show at Sesh Comedy Club. And some guy, he was driving past, he said, hey, you suck. I'm just kidding. We had a great time tonight. Oh, fuck off. And it happened at the country club show where this guy came over. And it was so out of the blue.

For a second, I had a moment of like, what the fuck's going on? And he was like, you guys were the worst comedians I've ever seen. I had a great time. I'm just kidding. Also, he said, you suck. And then he said, just kidding. I had a great time. So he didn't even say you were good.

It's not like he didn't redeem the thing he said. He said, you you suck just kidding Show was pretty good It should have been like you just kidding You're great That's awful also when a guy comes up to you Afterwards like hey that's pretty good It's like I'd rather you just say nothing

I'd rather not Know what you felt You know it wasn't bad I didn't choose to have no retirement in my life to hear pretty good. It's just such an interesting impulse where like part of it, I think like they want to be like, you know, I'm pretty funny too. Like, cause it's a joke essentially. They're doing a not.

That's what it is. Yes. Yeah. It's people try to be funny. It's a weird thing I have some like podcast fans who are like mean and they're just trying to be like familiar to me

but they don't know how to do it so it's just mean like I posted a picture of myself I was like I think I look okay in this picture but I'm self conscious about my weight and it was a picture like please or it's asking for something you know what I mean and then someone just commented on it or like messaged, like say it goes, shut up, pig.

And I'm like, what's the point of this? And they're like, oh, I'm just a fan of the podcast and I don't think you're really fat, but I know it's like you make jokes about it. And I'm like, so I just thought it was funny. And I'm like, but you didn't explain any of that. You just said shut up, pig. I want to know in their dream scenario,

like it's interesting when people do something like that. What in their mind is the ideal outcome? Like, shut up, pig. And you're like, ha ha. Yeah, they think I'm going to laugh. Well, he thinks I know what he's thinking. He thinks I know he's thinking. You reply like, thanks, buddy.

I appreciate it. I know you don't mean it. And so it's a compliment. But I get that all the time. It's like people comment like, you fat, ugly you should have died of the holocaust love the pod you know it's just like whatever it's just like yeah uh that's why i'm like tim dylan is like crushing it but his fans must be so mean they must just be like hey fat fuck yeah yeah yeah well i think that's it's a scary thing to fans are scary

yeah fans are scary i don't have like i'm not saying i have like a lot of fans but like there's a pressure there's a weight when someone writes you and they're like this meant a lot or they'll be like my family's fucked up too or they say stuff like that like it's cumbersome when you have to think about like what it is you're cultivating i mean your podcast about movies people who like movies. Yeah, and most of them are fine. That's not toxic. That's not a toxic magnet.

No, no, no. But some magnets that people use, it's like you're getting some crazies. We did a Patreon where I was really yelling about the Will Smith shit, getting pretty angry. And we started getting so many Patreon members. And I'm like, ooh, I think I'm tapping into that angry white guy. I got to be careful. Because the minute you tap into that, you know, people start, you know. There was definitely that, like, what Will Smith did was wrong.

And then other people were like, like, the worst is, like, what Will Smith did is a poor reflection on the black community. And you're like, stop. Yeah, I know. Stop, you moron. You idiot. I wouldn't say anything racial, but I was being angry and saying it's not about race. I was saying it's about a fucking narcissistic douchebag. But that's the problem with the nuance.

There's plenty of guys who- But then people are like, yeah, he's angry and he's saying not everything. You're like, nothing's about race if you really think about it. Slavery wasn't even about race. Yeah, so it's like, it's tough, but once again, you can't control how people are going to react. You shouldn't, but at the same time, you should not feed into it deliberately. You know what I mean? You shouldn't feed into it deliberately.

And the thing about Joe Rogan is I disagree with a lot of what he says. I don't know if he's calculatingly feeding into something. I think he believes these things. You know what I mean? Sure. And it's not illegal to be an idiot. You know what I mean? Sure.

And it's not like illegal to be an idiot. And I know people are like, well, he should realize what he's saying and realize his responsibility. But he thinks he's right. He doesn't, he's not like, I know I'm dumb. Yeah. Ultimately, I think it's like, again, where it's like they're listening to Joe Rogan

instead of the traditional media. And part of it's like, well, you want to know why? Because the traditional media fucked up for so fucking long and have lied. This, that, and the other. And Joe Rogan is,

would be a fan of himself. So it's like, he's just, he's not like, he's not a, I just can't imagine ever in my life having like a point of view on a medical thing that went against popular opinion. Yeah.

That's the part where I'm like, I can't imagine doing that. Well, he is his fan in the sense that it's false skepticism. Yeah. He's skeptic of mainstream stuff, but then very ready to believe a blog that he saw. So it's like false skepticism, you know?

And he is a conspiracy theorist. I'm not, look, what he says is often quite dumb. But I guess I think you're allowed to say what you want. You can't blame him for there being dumb people. Yeah, and I don't think he's fostering hate. I just think he believes stupid shit, you know? Yeah, again, if you want to be mad at dumbness, you got to look at the things

that were supposed to fix dumbness and the levers that stop it. So demanding he get off Spotify to me is just like insane. I mean, I get that you're allowed to ask for something or demand something,

but like, it's also just like, you know Spotify's not going to drop him. They just paid a hundred. Well, they made more money. They just paid a hundred million dollars. Like, they're not going to be like, ah, never mind. It is funny, the two artists who left, like thinking they'd start a movement and now they're just not more money. They just paid a hundred million dollars like they're not gonna be like that Never mind. It is funny the two artists who left like thinking they'd start a movement and now they're just not on Spotify

Jody Mitchell, yeah, Jody Mitchell and Yeah, he went to Amazon too. It's like there's a certain degree Yeah, like if you're gonna participate in the capitalist society, you're you're using services. Well, the problem was like And I don't begrudge they're allowed to do that too but what the problem is is like was like believing in some moral absolutes is that life is so complicated that often there is no right answer and the thing you think is the right answer actually will make things worse too yeah so it's like it's like with rachel carson she had that book uh silent spring where they got rid of, it was a book about

showing how DTTs can cause, are carcinogenetics, you know, the insect spray? And they got rid of them, and then a lot of people believe that kept, allowed mosquitoes to be more prevalent, which caused malaria that killed millions of people. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's like life is so complicated that, and I don't, you know, who knows, I don't know all the facts on that, but life is so complicated that like, there's not always one right answer. And the fact that Neil Young is then just going to Amazon, which is like, Amazon is

the worst. You know what I mean? And so like, there is, we're all forced to be hypocrites. And so to have, to pretend some kind of virtuousness when we're all like, we have no choice but to be culpable in a system that's corrupt. I remember with Twitter, like people were quitting Twitter and then some, a handicapped person posted like,

please don't ask us to leave this app for handicapped people. This is a gigantic platform for community and blah, blah, blah. It was just like, it's it's all complicated it's all complicated you're gonna offend someone and it's like yeah it's just i mean yeah i don't yeah i don't yeah i don't know it's easy to go like that's complicated so i don't have to make any moral decisions at all yeah like it's hard to have that balance you know i mean but your moral decisions need to be aware of the complex nature of things. You know what I mean?

And someone like Joe Rogan on Spotify I think is a complex thing. I don't think it's an easy answer. Like he needs to be off. You know what I mean? I don't think that's such an easy answer. Yeah. I mean, again, it's the same thing with free speech where on the reverse side, Elon Musk is like, free speech. And you're like, well, it's not that that simple yeah with it's not that simple with the

internet that's an insane that's an insane to say like that's what i thought when i was in fifth grade i was like free speech means whatever whenever you can't yell it's not that's not that's not it with the internet it magnifies the fire example of you can't go fire in a movie theater but that's also before the internet it's like there's a version of you can't yell fire in a crowded movie theater that applies to social media yes yes of course and there's things that like the problem is it's like having to prove that someone's deliberately lying and what they're saying yeah is a hard thing to prove because they could just be like well i just believe it sure i mean um um do you have a this has got to stop? Yeah, I have a couple.

People who share, I mean, this is all one, but people who share a tweet or something, and they go, this, this, my list really came out. Just one word, this. Yeah, yeah. If all those people were executed, I think the world would be a better place. Anyone who begins a tweet with, so let me get this straight.

You know, so let me get this straight. All those people are the worst. I hate, I hated, I needed this today. If you needed a video of a puppy petting a bird, then you, not made for this world. Not wearing headphones on the subway, just playing speakers, you know. That's the worst. I had it on the subway, just playing speakers, you know? Uh-huh. That's the worst. I had it on the plane the other day.

Really? The person next to me was watching TikTok with no headphones. Thank God they lost reception eventually. Yeah. But, like, for a second, I was like, really? It's insane, yeah. And, of course, they didn't say a single word. No.

But it was just like, I could not believe it. Playing really loud music at Starbucks, which is insane. I went to Starbucks the other day. It was like I was at a rock concert. Them playing, the baristas playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like as the music for the store. I'm like literally yelling at my friend like, what are you having?

It's like we're fucking at Metallica. It's insane. There was a funny thing at Starbucks for a long time where I think they were forced to listen to like, this is years ago. They were forced to listen to whatever Starbucks was promoting. So it would be like quiet indie rock. And it was so funny in New York because it would be like these black baristas clearly have no choice in the music

that's being played there. But there has been a change in the last few years where sometimes you go into a Starbucks and it is like blaring. Yeah, no, no. Go back to Starbucks complete control. It's awful. Just Nora Jones.

And it's bad for like customers. Like how are you typing in this? You know what I mean? Like we're working on shit. But that's what they want. They don't want you to stay there. Yeah. That's the thing.

That's the thing. And you can feel it. And that's when places become awful where you feel them being like, please leave so we can make more money. I feel like Starbucks became popular because people stayed there. I feel like that was such a. But then they had such a huge. I had a joke where I said I went to... I made a donation to my favorite homeless shelter,

this place called Starbucks, because there was a time at least in New York where it was like... Yeah. It was wild. It was wild. It used to be the library was a homeless shelter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Every library was like, ah, want to go to the homeless shelter? They have the best books. Yes. So that's one um uh i'm trying to think other ones um any stand-up who says it makes a comment about something that's just not real anymore you know i mean like i heard a comic the other day being like uh watch uh you know when they come out of

these new horror movies black guy always dies first and i'm like that is so not true anymore yeah to the point where it's the opposite i see a black guy in a horror movie i'm like get out he made it to the end i'm like he's definitely gonna make it to the end and he's definitely not gonna be the bad guy it actually if anything ruins it's like oh he's definitely not gonna be bad or get killed so i'm like not nervous now where it's like what you, I think like the bit now is like you can tell a horror movie where there's a black guy, you're like,

he's going to make it to the end. He's not going to die. That should be the bit. I mean, that is what's prevalent. And I actually think a lot of that, like the trigger warnings on TV shows, I really hate because it ruins the narrative.

Trigger warning the main character dies. Well, our friend was just talking to us the other day. I think it was an episode of The Crown is a narrative. Trigger warning the main character does. Our friend was just talking to us the other day. I think it was an episode of The Crown and it had a trigger warning about eating disorders. But then it was like in the episode there was like an orphanage that was like bombed. But it was like this thing

where you're like there's no trigger warning. They're thinking about the annoying people who are going to complain. It's not going to be orphans. You're like ugh. I was talking to someone from Germany the other day and like just about the annoying people who are going to complain. It's not going to be orphans. You're like, ugh. I hate it. I was talking to someone from Germany the other day and like,

just, you know, they don't really censor much at least cursing wise. Yeah. And I made me so mad. It was when Russia was invading and they,

Russia told some island in Ukraine, give us the island and they wrote back, fuck off or something. Yeah. And the news was like, they wrote back

an expletive we're not going to say. And then Russia blew them into a million pieces. There's footage of a head rolling down the street. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. I don't, like, I don't, like, obviously I think it's good that our world is not, like, I think it's good that we can offer comfort in this world.

But, like, you know, everything's a balance. But this idea that, this idea that trauma is something that's escapable in life. Yes. Yeah. I have a thing about. Trauma is life. I don't know what the answer is because sometimes I'm like, when there's a war, or when there's a genocide, it's like this idea of like, well, please don't show this on the news.

Yeah. And it's like, well, war is really bad. You might as well see it. Of course. You want to to go to the news here's the picture of what's happening yeah this is what's happening of course we want to hear a cuter version of it like if you're uncomfortable with it then don't go to the news yeah where does being triggered mean like oh i just don't want to empathize with other people's problems yeah you know i mean i just hate it for narratives because i feel like it ruins you know it's gonna happen i feel like it ruins... You know it's going to happen. I feel like it's ruined it many times.

Yeah. I saw one recently that said there's self-harm and then there's a scene where you're kind of foreshadowing it a little but it used to be like, oh, what's going to happen?

Now you're like, oh, she's going to commit suicide right now. Yeah. You know? I could totally... I mean, I could be like, please don't talk about death.

It triggers me because it does. Yeah. I mean, the triggering... First of all, triggering means you're does. Yeah, I mean, triggering, first of all, triggering means you're alive. Yeah. You're not dead inside.

And like, I don't know. I guess I, to me, good art should be triggering. I don't know. Isn't triggering just bringing up emotions? I think you should,

I could say, sometimes happy things trigger me. Yeah. Please don't show a healthy friendship that makes me sad about my life. It's another liberal thing. It's not the art's fault. Yeah, yeah liberal thing. It's not the art's fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not the art's fault if you're getting triggered. If you're getting triggered, I mean, that sucks, I guess, if it's awful, but go to therapy. I don't know. That's not... Yeah. Like, go to therapy and deal with it. Don't, like, you know, don't refuse to have it seen in anywhere in life. That's certainly not psychologically healthy.

Yeah. You know, like, this idea of, like, the eating disorder. Like, if you can't watch something because someone's going to throw up, if, like... If Princess, fake Princess Diana throwing up, having a new story. Yeah.

You know, get triggered and talk about it in therapy and work on that. But the fact that we're, like, adjusting the world for this is insane because it's not good for anyone, you know let's uh let's move on to our final segment you better count your blessing whatever it is and i'm like well there's music playing there's a there's a whole song

trust me when you're not talking i, there's music playing. There's a whole song. I hear it. Trust me, when you're not talking, I know there's a good reason. Russell, do you have a blessing to share? You go first. You go first. What the fuck? You go first. You threw that curveball at me. Well, I always go first.

And sometimes it could inform me if I can hear what you're going to do. Because you've done the nice thing. Explain the logic to that bullshit sentence you just said. I just go first. I always go first. I'm asking you to go first for fucking once. Okay, all right. So I wanted to,

I did want to give a shout out to my feature and my host from the Lunar Bend Comedy Club. We had a really good time. Who was it? It was, I'm making sure I go. The name's Lawrence Rosales. And Colton, and Colton,

and Colton's last name will remain, Colton Jones. And they are two Dallas guys. I always enjoy, since I didn't start in like a smaller scene, like I'm always like fascinated by how scenes function. Yeah, yeah. And the ways that they're thriving and the ways that they're struggling. And they were cool they did workout classes with me

I think about how comics used to do cocaine and we're fucking people and for me it was like we got a yoga class and then a planet fitness day we went to the Oklahoma City National Memorial which is for the Oklahoma City bombing I love that museum.

This museum was incredible. As a comedian, you go there and you're like... No trigger warning, which I was very upset by. What was that? They had no trigger warning in the museum.

No trigger warning at all. But talk about a museum... Turned out to be sad and I was not prepared for that. Clearly it was designed by a very good artist. There's this beautiful memorial. One side says 9.01 p.m.

and across this lake and chairs representing each person that died it says 9.03 p.m. and across this lake and chairs representing each person that died, it says 9.03 p.m. And the whole metaphor that they kept going with was between 9.01 and 9.03, everyone's lives changed. And the way this museum starts, you go in a room.

That room is triggering. Oh my God. The room where they have the audio of the boardroom. So you go in a room and it's just like kind of a fake boardroom and they play audio. I guess it's a building. It's like a meeting. A real audio of a meeting right before the explosion.

Oh my God. And you go in there and there's no countdown or anything. So you're just hearing this meeting and you know at some point you're going to hear a huge explosion and people freaking out. And right when you hear the explosion, they flash the pictures of everyone who died.

It's pretty cool. It's like Oklahoma City bombing the ride. Wow. How many people died in that i don't remember like it was it 300 something oh it's like hundreds yeah yeah it's pretty i feel like it was 168 but it could have been oh was it just 168 that's nothing pre-911 though i mean i mean it was it was significant and something about that moment like it was very theatrical i mean it was it was significant and something about that moment like it was very theatrical i mean it was a very like theatrical experiential and it put you into the the mood and i feel like you can only do that because it was a long time ago i do not think you could do that with 9-11 i don't think it could be like this is the building and then you hear like a and then

like a plane coming close to the window. But it would get you ready for the, it would get you in the mood for a memorial. Probably not. Yeah, no, it's a great museum and they have that one tree that's still standing. Talk about a joke that never worked. There was that guy who was rebuilding the Titanic and it was like the idea of making a ride

out of this thing that was like a true tragedy. And the joke was like, that means that in a hundred years, they're going to give you plane rides to where the towers used to be. Like the idea of like, you would go on a plane and they'd show you like, and then it went down and like this.

And it, I mean, always the audience was like, absolutely not. We're not on board for this. But it is just always fascinating how you can joke. I've done college shows. You talk about 9-11. And for them, some of them weren't alive for it.

Yeah. And to them, it's like the Titanic in the sense they know it's like a Lincoln joke. They know it's like, ooh, this is wrong. But they don't have the emotional feeling sad about it. So they can just enjoy it. Right. I have a 9-11 joke on my special actually but it's um but it works but it's also because it's not really about it's i tried one in oklahoma

city and it tanked it's not really about like making fun of the tragedy i guess you know i mean sure um but yeah no it's it's tough to do for sure there was um i can't remember if we talked about there was a one time there was like i can't remember if we talked about there was a one time there was like a vulture article it was like jokes that comedians regret and what was so funny what was so funny to me is that there was an older comedian i can't remember who it was it was the bald guy with the gap with the gap oh paul uh what's his sheer uh what's uh paul sheer yeah maybe um basically said that like the week 9-11, he did this thing, a bit where it was a person covered in ashes being interviewed right after the tragedy.

But it was a stand-up, trying to work out bits right after the thing. And he said, in hindsight, it was too soon, and it made people uncomfortable, blah, blah, blah. But what was so funny about that article is like there was that example. And then there was like some people being like, I used to make fun of being myself being fat. Fuck you. It was so funny. It really made me laugh. I was watching when Louis Anderson died.

I watched a lot of Louis Anderson videos. And he kept talking about how he was like you know i'm not really telling fat jokes anymore i used to tell this great one though and then he'd go right into it and it would murder and it was so funny because i love how that's like the richard pryor i'm no longer saying the n-word uh so do you have a blessing yet yes um i'm gonna give it to um our friend chris cafero um because he did a lot of work and he's just so reliable when it comes to the Uncle Functions stuff and

this weekend was oh yeah sorry and then we had a couple things this weekend and he just is a reliable boy and is always like pulling through and I don't want him to move to LA we have a friend it feels't want him to move to LA.

We have a friend. It feels like just some friends moving to LA. My girlfriend is currently at the Netflix Is It A Joke Festival. Yes. You know, she's like writing me like, you know, Judd Apatow's here. And I'm like, well, I'm in Oklahoma. There's a bunch of Judds here. But none of them have produced a movie.

And she's like, she's bit by the LA bug. Yeah, of course. You know, you go there, you do one set, you're the best in the fucking room, and then someone wants to be off your pilot, you're like, why the fuck am I not here? I know, I know, yeah. I'm grateful that this podcast is finally over.

You're the 10th one to say that, but go for it. Am I? No, no, no. Oh, really? You're the first. First? Okay. Yeah, yeah. Some people have fucking say that but go for it no no no you're the first some people have fucking manners I was holding that in for like 10 minutes when does the blessing come up I'm grateful

that what about the woman who gave you the hand job? I mean, she clearly did a good job. For her, she was Ukrainian, so I wasn't standing with Ukraine, but I was lying down with Ukraine. Very good, very good. I'm grateful for comedy.

I'm grateful that I don't have a day job. I feel like I scammed the system. And I'm grateful that Ukraine is, I I feel like I scammed the system. I'm grateful that Ukraine is, I think at this point, kind of winning. They didn't bow down. Yeah. Good. I don't know.

Grateful for Ukraine. Let me figure out when this is going to come out exactly, if there's anything you want to plug. You're doing Bricktown soon, right? In two months or something, yeah. Yeah. That's in Oklahoma. That's near Oklahoma City, right?

It is in Oklahoma City. So this is coming out May 17th. So anything after the 17th that you want to plug? Russell, anything you want to plug? May 17th? No, because I don't know the June dates, so no. Great. Renan, anything you want to plug? May 17th? No, because I don't know the June dates, so no. Great. Renan, anything you want to plug? Yeah, well, most importantly,

I have a special on YouTube now called Downhill Ever Since. It's from 2019, and I'm going to have a new special coming out in the next two months, so subscribe to my YouTube channel. I've got to get the numbers up. You can subscribe to it.

Just go to my Instagram, Renan Comedy, R-A-N-A-N Comedy And in the bio There'll be a link To my YouTube channel Also in that bio Is a link to all my

Upcoming shows I'm gonna be Yeah a bunch of places Seattle A bunch of places And you have a podcast Oh yeah Joe and Ronon Talk Movies

With Joe List So my upcoming dates This Saturday If I'm correct And you have a podcast. Oh, yeah. Joe and Ron on Talk Movies with Joe List. So my upcoming dates this Saturday, if I'm correct, May 21st, headlining Atlantic City Comedy Club. Comics Mohegan Sun, May 26th to 28th. Lowell, Arkansas. No way we have any listeners in Lowell, Arkansas. So skip it. And then June, I'm going to be in San Diego, I'm going to be in San Francisco,

Seattle, LA, then Tova's birthday, which I am not doing anything this time. No shows this time. No shows. That's for sure. And that's what I want too. I want to be clear,

it's not just because Tova wants it, I want it as well. Good. But check the site, and Sesh Comedy Club, the silver lining, which is normally the first Sunday of every month, Sesh Comedy Club, The Silver Lining, which is normally the first Sunday of every month.

We had one yesterday. It was sold out. It was fucking awesome. The next one is July 3rd. I had to skip a month because I'm headlining in Brea, California. But July 3rd,

Sesh, it's called The Silver Lining. It's the sister show to this podcast and I think I convinced Russell in August to do a live podcast taping

before the next one sure but I'd like to I'd like to just remember like Spinoza said God is everything which I guess conversely means God is nothing to

nothing matters he was autistic and Jewish. This is the downside. One, two, three. Downside. Downside. Downside. Downside. Downside Downside