The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #88 Judged by Trump with Joanne Nosuchinsky

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Joanne Nosuchinsky shares the downsides of being crowned 2013 Miss New York USA, getting bedbugs before the show, Trump not choosing you to advance (but only because he prefers blondes), having a back brace for all of high school, and acting in an interactive parody of The Bachelorette with the hosts of this show. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Follow Joanne Nosuchinsky on Instagram and Twitter Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's monthly show in NYC (first Sunday of every month) Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, your wife's going to find out eventually, Russell. Yeah. Welcome to the downside. My name is Jamarco Cerezi. I'm here with my... Wait, how long do you sit on those? Do you really come up with them right before you do it? No, I thought about 10 minutes before you came here.

I ran over a couple of them. It feels like you have them like in... This one I had it. I knew exactly what I settled on. Because that story you told me, she sounded wild. Why? Yes, yes, yes. Russell Daniels is your name and you're the co-host.

How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? And we're here. Very excited to have her. Joanne Nosichonsky. That is not how you say her name. Our friend's name.

What did you just say? Did I mess it up? You didn't say it right. Say it again. Try it again. Say it again. Oh, no. Now I know it's got to be different.

I don't even know how you said it the first time. Oh, I know how you said it. How did he say it? You said Nosechunski. Yeah, you said Chunski. Like Anna Klumski. How long have you been Joanne for? Let's tell everyone that's listening.

Not no so. Nostransky. I can't. John Markle, you have known me for seven years. I guess you don't say my last name a lot. I guess you don't say your last name a lot. But that's crazy. Don't you see it?

Russell Daniels, Douglas Goodhart Joanne okay think of a different vowel instead of the u think of an i that's that's a that's I was about to say a slur I don't want to say a slur no no no no say at the end. Chinsky. Chinsky. Okay. There's Chinsky. No such Insky. No such Insky.

John Marco. This is very. To be fair, that's an absurd last name. What if Joanne came in here today, someone that has also known you for seven years, and you were like, ah, here I am with my friend, John Marco Soros. That's how people bring me on stage. Yeah, but people who don't know you. Yeah. We have more in common than you think, John Marco.

I know. Well, listen, I may be a little flustered. I had one of the maybe biggest bombs of my life earlier today. What time is it? Why were you doing a show? Yeah. I did. It was a private gig. Hey, pro tip. Don't do a stand-up show at 1 p.m so it was it was how can you kill it that i don't know

i mean but i did not think this is one of the worst i had to do 15 to 20 getting paid uh 600 but then they waited an hour so they bumped it up to $7.50. Okay. 15 minutes. I get it's no boo. They rented out no boo for the day. Oh wow. And it's a Jewish woman's 80th birthday. Oh. Now they said, they gave me some sushi

it was very good. Yeah. They said they said that she had viewed some of the comedians that the booker had produced. And she said she liked my stuff. They said some of it was a little blue or a little dirty. And so they told me, be kind of clean. I get there.

They were playing like a slideshow of this woman's life. Like, you know, sometimes when the birthdays are that big for that old, it's kind of like this is the trial for the funeral. This is the run through yeah like what we're gonna say how many people were there sorry um it was about i'd say i'd say 40 40 to 50 okay renting out no renting out no renting out no there's money there for sure yeah and um surprisingly a lot of her friends are alive it was mostly it wasn't like you know family down the generations. It was women who got dressed up and probably woke up at six to be ready for it.

They looked good. Yes. Hats, scars, things. They're mostly Jews. Ladies who lunch type. Ladies who lunch, yes. Yes. Okay.

And in demeanor and spirit and sense of humor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they first, like, I think the daughter or the granddaughter went up and, like, said a speech, like, you know, my mom lived life to the fullest. Thank Hashem. So it's very Jewish. And then at the end she starts crying, like, you know, like, and I can't imagine life without her. Thank Hashem. And then her husband or another 80-year-old man gets up and says,

all right, now we're going to have some comedy. Oh, man. And I thought 15 minutes, easy. 15 minutes is truly nothing. Jewish, going to do a bunch of Jewish stuff. Keep it kind of clean. They didn't say like clean, clean, but it was just not going to be dirty. Yeah.

Man, I go up there and from the get, I am bombing to borderline silence. Well, what was the first thing you said? First thing I said, oh, how wonderful this birthday to have a traditional Jewish meal at Nobu. That's 10 times what I got. And it's just amazing how when you're bombing you just get worse you just get worse and worse and i probably fight it more than most where i like you know you try not to sink

you keep and move back you keep thinking you could turn it around or no you yeah well at a certain at five minutes in you're like holy shit you start jumping from big like you know sometimes i have a big joke and then mostly good jokes after that but then you start jumping from big like you know sometimes i have a big joke and then mostly good jokes after that but then you start jumping just from your big hit to the next big hit and when those don't even work you're like well yeah we're running out and you can't rely on the cursing you can't rely on the dirty you can't rely on the mean a lot of my comedy is mean was there anything where you're like not only only are they quiet, but they're aggressively against this bit? At one point, I tried dropping.

I had an audition once for Game of Thrones. Obviously, I didn't get it or I wouldn't be doing this shit. And I thought like a joke, like, let's see if a curse. Maybe they need a little curse. And I said shit. And it was a no. It was a no from the whole team. Were they responding to shit or were they responding to you saying

you didn't want to be with them? But normally that's the joke. That's the cute. Or they don't know what Game of Thrones is. Yeah. I did the, I said to her, I said congrats on surviving the 1918 flu. That did not fly at all.

Joe Markle, okay, now you've given me two instances of using this joke. I'm not bragging about the ones that did okay. I'm just saying you might want to retire that one. But just like, I mean, some, and it was one of those where normally this rough, you'd A, go dirty if it was a chaotic late night type show, or you'd do crowd work.

But these are like old women who are, they're not going to even answer me. They're just going to be like, mm-hmm. At one point I said, what do you do for work she was so old i stupidly said i was like what what did you did do you still do work or something and she said i had lunch that's the crowd yeah that's the crowd fun stuff and and i have these two pillars on either side of me and eventually i'm like first i'm leaning on the pillar then i'm wrapping my arm around it then i I have two arms around the pillar.

And also, as I went on stage, because they're filming this whole event. You're giving yourself the hook. I am, I am. As I film this whole event, they have a camera crew there documenting this. Oh my God. Not just me, but the whole event.

So when I get on stage, this guy runs up and he gives me like a clip to record like extra audio on top of my microphone audio. I mean, this, this. I was just watching the George Carlin doc today and I would love for in your doc to have footage of this. Oh my god. Someday to be like. Well, John Marco

they might not have laughed in the moment but watching back that footage I'm sure they'll have a giggle. Yeah. It's that thing of where like you don't even you do that thing it's not good as a comedian. We were like, oh, okay, you guys, tough crowd, I get it. And you don't want to say that.

But after 10 minutes of just talking into nothing. Do you think it would be better if you just like, kind of like, when that's happening, in those cases where it's organized, you're like, who organized this? Like, just to ask them, them like does she like stand up sure do who in this family thought that this was a good idea for today but then where do you go from there because then eventually it starts to get to just so you have answers of like why was this anyone's idea for me to do this sure and if it was younger it could be it could like you could riff off of but it just felt like they'd be like, I don't, I don't know. I don't even know my name.

I'm 80. Please. No, no, but I think they do know they just didn't, you know, they just don't like a lot of things. Or maybe you just need to do some research on what older people are into. And so then when you have an older crowd,

you know, oh man, my, uh, social security check came in late again. Sure. Maybe, maybe, but all my old jokes are me. you know oh man my social security check came in late again you know like having that kind of stuff maybe but all my old jokes are mean like I have the joke about

yeah they don't like being reminded that they're about to die I've only been listening three times in my whole life and they were all from my grandparents funerals which means I only have one concert left I mean it's they don't like that they just went to a funeral that morning before the birthday so I have one clip.

This is my go-to save the set. Well, you have a clip of what happened? Yeah. Social distancing was hard for me because other than being Jewish, my dad, he's Italian. And if you don't know Italians, we hug, we kiss, we get fired for it. Because it makes people uncomfortable. Like my roommate, not a guy, I remember the first time

my roommate saw my Italian father and I kiss each other goodbye. He was like, ew. Do you kiss your dad in public? I was like, yeah. You know what would be weird? If I only kissed him in private. You fucking suck!

I'm marked up! I hate you. Oh! kissed him in private. You fucking suck! Spongebob! Spongebob! How long did it take you to edit that? Not too long. I've gotten pretty good. I thought they sounded pretty responsive in all that. Leading up to it. For the picture that you painted,

they had some light chuckles at like, they get fired. Like someone did the thing where they repeat the punchline back. chuckles at like, they get fired. Like someone did the thing where they repeat the punchline back. They're like, they get fired. But it wasn't because

they liked it. It was because the person next to them is deaf. No, no, no. There was a lot of repeating of punchlines. And not because like, I can't wait to tell

my grandson this one. You should also learn sign language maybe for your next. Sure, sure. Okay. That would be so funny. I just,

it was so embarrassing how helpless. I've been doing this a long time, and I just felt like I don't know even what to do. Moses Storm would have been on the table. He would have fucked the birthday woman. Oh, my God. Sincerely. No boo. No boo.

consensually. No boo. So, truly, one of the top five other than the Uncle Function show we did on Monday. That was three.

I'm having a rough week. I'm having a rough go of comedy. It's just, in those moments when you're bombing with this kind of business, you're like,

am I anything? Have I done anything with my life? But it humbles you, right? Like, it's good to have that occasionally humble i wish it humbled me it sends me spiraling is the term i'd use yeah spiraling death spiraling uh so so that's me uh i'm still i'm like weird and the the nice thing the booker from the club he like he he understood he was like don't even think about this don't worry like he said all the things that you'd want him to say like i know what this was that's the part that is the most painful if you're like with the booker

and the booker's like what happened and you want to be like fuck you yeah fuck you let me play you the set from last night yeah so i'm i'm cranky uh rus, how are you? Great. We did a Beat the Bomb on Sunday. We did a Beat the Bomb. We invited you, to be fair. I was working, I think. Yeah. And we didn't beat it.

We did not beat the bomb. We didn't beat it. I texted Douglas that. I was like, did you beat the bomb? He's like, nope. Douglas was mad. He gets competitive. Yeah.

It was very funny. For a second, I was like was like oh you're really mad okay yeah um douglas uh he asked if we're gonna talk about him a lot you are engaged to douglas yeah he like wants me to yeah yeah he's like are you gonna talk about the downsides of dating me for those who don't know that's the theme that we were going to make for this episode douglas the downsides of dating you douglas yeah um douglas does our theme song just so people listening so joanne is engaged to douglas who did the downside theme song yes and he gets a lot of compliments on that theme song from guests that come on the show so we're not going to talk a lot about Douglas, but give us a downside of dating Douglas, a real one. He is the better of the two of us. Let me repeat the prompt.

Joe Marco is livid. What? What's the downside of dating Douglas? Which makes me look like the worst person. There we go. This is the downside of dating Douglas not the where which makes me look like the worst person there we go this is the downside

one two three downside downside you're listening to the downside the downside

with John Marco Cerezi if you guys find me being rude to Joanne Nosichinsky it's because we've known each other a very long time yeah so with John Marco Cerezi. If you guys find me being rude to Joanne Nosichinsky, it's because we've known each other a very long time. Yeah. So I'm being my real self.

Yeah. How are you doing? Great. Now we know each other way back from that Bachelorette show. All three of us. And we wanted you on here because we're trying to get Vinny on the show. And I know you have his number. Do I have his number?

I did his podcast in the past. What's his podcast called? When he had one. I don't think he has one now. But he lives in New York City now. Oh, hasn't he always? But he goes to Vegas every once in a while to do that hunk show or whatever. Oh, yes.

The hunk show. I sent you guys a picture when I was in Vegas. So just to review, recap, if you're new to the Downside from Zarnagar's episode specifically, we did this show called That Bachelorette Show. It was a parody. Just so you know, we talk a lot of shit about it.

I don't know if you're still trying to get Ken to give you some Broadway gigs. I put it on my resume with pride. It was a parody of that Bachelorette show. It was an interactive play. Experience, really. For Bachelorette parties. And it was at a club.

What was the club called? Two clubs. Originally, it was... What was the first one called? It was in the Out Hotel. Yeah, but I don't know what that club was called. I can't remember the name. It was in the Out Hotel. Yeah, but I don't know what that club was called. I can't remember the name. It was in the Out Hotel on 42nd Street.

And then the second, where it really died, where it got transferred to the Tropicana Club. Copacabana. Oh, Copacabana. Copacabana. So sorry. Yeah. And it was, you were the star.

You were the star. I was the bachelorette. The bachelorette. And we all competed. you were the star i was the bachelorette the bachelorette and we all competed um and uh we we would we would solicit the audience for votes to win the show and uh then it was normally i won it once like i didn't win often it was mostly i looked at joanne like she would remember well she because she had the final dance with but like she would remember how many times in a year that you won. Imagine if I did keep that tally. It was two and a half times, John Marco.

I won often. It was between you and Douglas. Yeah, Douglas and I both won often. Sure, but I think Douglas got more. I think it was close. And you said you vowed to get engaged to whoever won the most times. Yeah. It became kind of like a real life thing.

Isn't it so funny? You know, if that show is still running, Ken would have made like a big, he would have like made it a wedding. You could have done the wedding at the club. Oh yeah. There's a small part of us that was like,

should we contact him and tell him that like we're now engaged? Like, do you think he would care? And I don't know. Hey Ken, it's Douglas. Who? Yeah.

Who is this? He gave me free tickets to a show one time after that Bachelorette show. He was just trying to fill the seats. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're right. I forgot about that. Which show?

Island? I can't remember now. So it was a horrible, horrible play that I think ultimately led to me leaving acting, in my heart at least. Yeah. I'm still trying, like in real life, but in my heart at least yeah i'm still trying like in real life but in my heart and it was uh late nights saturday nights and uh you were in it and we all vied for your heart and i was your ex in the show my character was giovanni giovanni that was my first and my last

name yeah and that's the level of creativity we were working well and you had the hard part where you were you were in you were like really in the show and and you know you you're invested and then and then you got kicked out for a while because yeah they found a celebrity replaced no i left and that's why they found vinny oh is that i was not kicked out i was not kicked out i left i left that show the writing wasn't on the wall like hey we're gonna like get someone no. It was an emergency. They just had enough in the budget once you left to free up getting Vinny. Oh, my God. Were you like, can I get his salary now? Listen, I mean, they were trying to get Gabriel Iglesias for your part, but it just didn't

work out. What was your shirt say? Something like fat fucking chubby guys are. No, it was like chubby guys cuddle better. Chubby guys cuddle better. But one of the, you were the thing we really wanted to talk about today. The downsides of. Sure.

Is this why you got that role? Did you audition for that part? Did he just go through the last Miss New York's by year? I was in Ken Davenport's Awesome 80s Prom. Which is where I met Joanne. So Russell and I knew each other beforehand. So Awesome 80s Prom, again, interactive show that did very well. Yes.

And it featured all the racist characters of 80s movies. Yes. And people like that part. Yeah. Loved it. So I was in that for about like four years. I started as a cover. I ended up playing all the different cheerleaders at some point.

And the choreographer, Jess, asked me to audition or Ken asked me to audition. And I said no for a Bachelorette show. Good for you. Good for you. But then they were like, please audition. That's awesome. And I did. I know, right?

That's all I need. I just need a little bit of please. And yeah, I was then told I got it. And I was like, all right. Because at the time I was working at Fox News Channel. And I had like my, that was my full time job. And there was nothing really like artistic. So you knew her before Awesome 80s Prom?

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah no i did i did it in oh oh i see you're making a joke because of fox um i was like no i did um yeah so so you were miss new york 2000 usa miss us miss new york usa miss new oh is, is there a Miss New York, no USA? Miss New York is the America system. And those are the homely girls. Oh, my God. Good, good. I like this. Those are the ones that just share the energy.

No, no, no. It's just there is a really big divide between the America girls and the USA girls. USA girls say Miss America is the girl next door. Miss USA is the girl you wish lived next door. This is how they branded too or this sounds kind of a one-sided labeling. Miss America is a scholarship pageant. Miss USA is a beauty pageant. You get a modeling contract if you win. So we are the shallow

of the shallow and we know that. We know who we are. We don't have a talent portion of competition. Oh, okay. Interesting. Okay, this is interesting.

It's just bikini and evening gown and interview and that's it. What's the one? I'm surprised they didn't do the interview. What's better known?

Miss America or Miss USA? So USA goes on to universe. Sorry, this USA is what you usa so usa goes on to universe you're sorry this usa is what you did usa goes on the universe so that's really well known and usa is what trump used to own okay when he owned a pageant circuit it was the usa circuit but america which has like more which in america i'm trying to think which ones i watched once in a while when I was a kid America takes place in Atlantic City okay USA usually takes place in Vegas they've done other areas before too but America um is I mean they're both televised um but America just got rid of swimsuit recently because they're like it's not kosher it It's, you know, why are we judging women?

And I have always said, the best part about losing a beauty pageant is being able to say, oh, they didn't like me for my body. Well, when you get rid of that, it's they didn't like me for my personality. What feels worse? Yeah, that's true yeah when you're like oh i was too short i was too tall no it was like oh i don't help the homeless enough yeah sure yeah

i'm an awful conversationalist like oh god i need to really work on me so america it just got rid of the the swimsuit yes are they they're both still around yes so is was this the first pageant you did or did you grow up doing pageants are you a pageant girl i didn't grow up doing pageants i did one when i was 16 it was like a national american miss they sent you flyers in the mail kind of like the army they want anyone to just like try them out sure and um i did who did you say, mom, dad, I want to do this? Or did they go like... I did. You did. And instead of having a sweet 16 that year, my mother said, you can do this pageant.

Because it costs a lot of money. That's one of the downsides of pageantry. It's a lot of money. And you were living where at this point? When I was 16 with my parents? In New Jersey. In New Jersey. And then where was this miss, what's this one called?

National American Miss. Versus National USA Miss. They're a bunch of whores. There are so many. Yeah, yeah. So, okay, where'd you say it was again? Miss, Miss National US Miss. New Jersey.

New Jersey. I mean, they have state competitions. State competitions. So you did that one. And did you have to what does that entail? What did you have to do for it? Well, that one you could. God, it's such a money grab, especially for those.

So it was like if you want to enter the spokesperson competition for fifty dollars, we'll give you a script that you have to read. Pretending you're a spokesperson. The best read wins. And it's all for Trump hotels and Trump steaks. Oh my God. So which one did you apply for? Yeah, I think there was like a commercial audition one. Sure.

Which I totally won. And did you go because you're like, I love the stage? Did you go because in your head were you like, I'm hot? Well, keep in mind, this is back brace Joanne. Right. So tell us this because. So I grew up from the age of 12 to 16. I had to wear a back brace.

That's a very long time. 16 hours a day. So basically you would sleep not in it. I would sleep in it. Oh, and that would count as part of 16. So would you just try to do the eight hours at school? I would do some at school. When I had gym class, I would take it off.

I would change out of my sweatpants, put on my jeans. Was it like the girl in the movie that takes off the glasses and becomes all sexy, but it was like a big back brace, and then it was like, whoa. Yeah, how noticeable are we talking about the back brace? I could wear it under my clothes, except I couldn't wear jeans with it. So when I would take it off, I would put on jeans and I didn't realize until years later,

it probably looked like I just pissed myself every day because I changed my pants every day. Sure. What does it look like though? What is it doing? It's keeping your back straight? So basically it's like a plastic corset.

Okay. So it would sit under my sternum. It would go down to, what do you call it, the crease of your hips? The cum gutters. Oh my God. You know what? That is the word I was looking for. Thank you.

And it would have Velcro straps on the back that you would tighten to a certain line. And that would position, they would take x-rays before and after. And they were trying to get my spine sort of as straight as possible in that brace. And what happens is your muscles learn to kind of stay rigid in that position because they're doing it for 16 hours every day. And the idea is as you grow, your spine won't get worse. I was at 31 degrees at 35. You need surgery or they recommend surgery. Oh my God. So it's really not supposed to correct it. It's supposed to prevent it from getting worse. But I was so religious about wearing it cause I didn't want surgery that it actually did correct to 15 degrees. Wow.

Yeah. So I gained like half an inch in height the dream is zero um there the dream is no surgery and no pain sure so um i i would say i've achieved my dream does this run in your family what is this scoliosis that we're talking about okay my mother has scoliosis as well but it you know she's from a generation where they didn't she was one of 10 kids that's's overlooked. She was never really treated. Did she have surgery? No. It was never bad enough.

Mine was pretty bad. Did your sister have to wear a back brace? No. So were you embarrassed by it? Not really. It was really only my sister that would make fun of me. What would she say? Would she just tap on the back?

Oh, their nicknames? Anything I couldn't do, she's like, it's because of your back brace. She would get her and her friends to say that all the time. Oh, my God. Was that true? Is that why you had to? I mean, certain things I couldn't really bend down. She would host a lot of bending.

Who can bend fastest competitions? She'd be like, oops, I dropped this. Guys, limbo again tonight. So, okay, so you're wearing this back brace and then... But then you're like,

you had, so at 16 though, are you, did you like come out of the back brace and you're like, like a swan moment, like now I want

to enter a pageant. I think there was a part of me that really wanted to shed that. But were you still popular? Were you still like the, like getting guys attention or did they see the back brace and go?

No, thank you. I think it was my personality and not the back brace. I was, Oh my gosh. Always raising my hand, participating in class. I was,

I was too much. I've done improv with you. Thank you. Um, wow. Do you, wait, class i was a i was too much i've done improv with you thank you um wow do you wait were you there for that one where i did an improv with douglas and he's like oh no it's in the attic and i go we don't have an attic i just completely denied him classic oh god you don't have an attic you psycho i was like i was playing a grandma with dementia. And he's like, that's not how it works.

It's a, I think we may have, a classic Uncle Function moment. Chris Caffaro from Uncle Function and I, we were doing a sketch where a cop car pulls us over. You were the cop. And there's supposed to be siren cues. They missed the cues. This was at the pit loft.

Yeah. And I knew they had missed the cue and we needed the cue. So I said, oh no, I think, oh, we're getting pulled over by the police. And Chris just went, no, we're not. That's not the police. And I looked at him like, where is the sketch going to go now?

And also mind you, we have not invested in a police costume. So it really needed them to lay out. I had to do a double no. I was like, no, I'm pretty sure it's the fucking police. So, okay. So you, you, when you get this Miss Teen USA, tell me what you think the name is based on your memory. Oh God.

Miss, all Miss, I have no memory. Which one was this? National American Miss but this is like like the minor leagues this isn't even sure but that's where it starts

yeah so you were 16 when you applied yeah was this post back brace and you were like I'm ready for

beauty pageants now yeah it was right around then yeah and it wasn't I was ready for beauty pageants it wasn't like

this is my new life. I just wanted to try it. Yeah. And I did pretty well. I got, I think, third runner up. What did you have to do for it? How many outfits? Are you doing runway?

Interview, I had a little white suit. I had a- Is it public? Is it a performance interview or private? They just talk to you in a room. Private in a room. With a 60-year-old man who says, let me see your gums. Okay.

There's a table of really judgy old women who interview us. An evening gown. And I think that was it. This didn't have swimwear, I don't believe. Thank God. Yeah. Dear Christ. I know. Some of it's weird believe. Thank God. Yeah. Dear Christ. I know, some of it's weird.

Wait, okay, interview? What was the other thing? Evening gown. Evening gown. Is any of this public? Is this all just in a room with these old ladies? It's in like a ballroom. Like my parents were there, my friends came.

For the? For the like final presentation. And did you go back and forth? Did you hit a pose? Were you in a line? Like is there a theater element to this yet? No, it's literally like a cattle call in like the sense that we walk like a line of cattle. Uh-huh.

And then they say our number and we walk forward and then we walk back. Did you get along with the other women at this stage? Or was it just, were you all like, it feels like an early age to be like, my looks are going to win over your looks. They start those pageant things. Have you ever seen any of those reality shows? Those pageant, if you're like invested doing the pageant thing,

that starts at like so young. Well, there must have been some women who this is their 100th pageant. Oh, yeah. I mean, I thought I was going to do well because I have always had a diluted amount of self-confidence. And that's also why I was just like, I can be friends with everyone here because no one was a threat to me. Sure. And that's then what you see at like the Miss USA level.

If I may just move forward for just a second. Yeah, please. My roommate at Miss USA was Miss Illinois. We are still best friends to this day. This was almost 10 years ago. We competed at Miss USA and we both were convinced we were each going to win when like physically that's not possible. Yeah. Yeah. But it's one of those things where it's just like we both just thought we would. And then like if it wasn't me, I guess it'll be her. But like we never really thought of the reality that like only one of us can.

You know, it's just because we're so mentally strong at that point. And it's really the girls who aren't that don't do very well and who have a hard time. Which one of you did win? It was. Well, she got second runner up. She got very close. I see. Yes. Which she says is second loser.

And what were you? So I didn't make the top 15, but I believe I was 16th. Okay. You were in the top 50. I think so too. I was inth. Okay. You were in the top 50. I think so too. I was in the top 51. 51? Is there Washington, D.C. or Puerto Rico?

Sure is D.C. D.C. Wait, so I have a question though. So, okay, so you're in New York. You're acting. Yeah. What brought you back to like the pageant thing? Because, right, you were here and and then like is there any sort of

can you just enter that like yeah there was an ad in backstage oh my god what if we what if we entered it no is there like a dude is there a dude version of this mr mr america there's gotta be that'd be fun yeah that'd be a good episode yeah yeah so you you So you did well in that first. All right. What is the name now? I'm never going to remember the name. Miss National. Miss National.

USA. Miss USA National. National American Miss. National American Miss. National and American. That does feel like a little bit. National American Mississippi is how I'm going to remember it. But it's just National American Miss.

Great. Yeah. And you said you got third place? Third runner up, which is fourth place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like these titles. And did you win a ribbon? Did you win a trophy?

I got a trophy. Got a ribbon. Went to Olive Garden. Like what more could a 16-year-old want? Yeah. Do you remember how you felt where you're like, this is my calling? I was bummed. I didn't win.

Yeah. But I think like my parents were surprised like for my first time, everyone else was like, Oh wow, this is so great. And I'm like, yeah, but I don't get to,

I don't get to be on the national magazine. Yeah. What, what magazine is this? There's a national American Miss magazine. Of just that, of just that version. You version to see what all the girls do during their reign so is this every state had a national american american miss

okay you're really focusing on the wrong pageant though this pageant for my younger fans who want to get into this but i I'm saying, so. And I would say don't start there. Start at Miss Teen USA. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So next is Miss Teen USA.

That's easier to remember. You didn't do that. I didn't do that Teen USA. Great. Well, let's dive into that. I'm saying I'm curious about of like doing it once, then not doing it for years and years and then finding a thing in backstage and being like, yeah, I'll do didn't even know backstage was involved with it so why didn't you ever do it again why did you stop because i was focused on acting uh-huh because i won the like little acting part of it and i was like oh what was the acting part of it what did you have to do it was

a commercial i had to do commercial copy do you remember what it what the it was for fish food from ben ben and jerry's fish food the flavor the Jerry's. Fish food? The flavor. The flavor. From Ben and Jerry's. Have you ever gone out of a street? Have you ever gone into a business? Have you ever done anything? He eats water ice without flavor, so he doesn't know.

We're like having to explain like stairs to you like right now. Yeah. So, okay. So what flavors are in this ice cream? Can you? So, I'm just kidding. No one cares. I am so, I just want her to explain backstage magazine.

You know what the downside is of pageantry? Having to explain this fucking part. This might be the one episode my dad will listen to. I'll be like, we had a Miss New York, and my dad will be like, what year? Well, I'm trying to get to the Miss New York part of it. Alright, chill the fuck out, okay? I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can

skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks. Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices. Uh, nope.

You're on your own there. Could have skipped it. Should have skipped it. Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to your door on Skip. This NFL season, get in on all the hard-hitting action with FanDuel, North America's number one sportsbook. You can bet on anything from money lines to spreads and player props, or combine your bets in a same-game parlay for a shot at an even bigger payout. Plus, with super-simple live betting, lightning-fast bet settlement, and instant withdrawals, FanDuel makes betting on the NFL easier than ever before.

So make the most of this football season and download FanDuel today. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling Palm, call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. So you go to college for acting. Yes. Where'd you go? Rider University.

Where's that? Rider, like a bronc. It's in... Is that the... Sure is. Our mascot's the bronc. It's in Lawrenceville, which is right next to Princeton. Okay.

So it's like a medium sized private school. I went there on an acting scholarship. Congratulations. Thank you. How much, how much the tuition did they cover? Full tuition. Wow. That's nice.

They gave away two full tuition scholarships a year. You had to audition for it, which is why I went there. How much was your thing? It was $16,000 for academic. That was from the SAT score. And then $3,000 extra from the musical theater school. So it was only $85,000 a year after that. Where did you go?

It was just an exaggeration. It was University of Miami. But I'm pretty sure the tuition was like 50 grand. Oh, yeah. What a waste. I mean, I just finished off paying my room and board loans. Really? Yeah.

And by that I mean, one loan was to my father and he forgave about $1,800 of it just the other day. He sent me a card in the mail. It's so good. And it said, some people claim that they'll give you forgiveness, but daddy delivers. And he's like, your loan is forgiven.

Is this a card they sell in the pre-made cards? He wrote that. He wrote that. He wrote that. Yeah. But daddy delivers. He's, um... Do you call him daddy no okay he was trying to be funny yeah and and it worked yeah yeah that's funny it would be funny if there was a section of ed and hallmark yeah that would be better of like forgiving forgiving

your daughters of your that's how bad student loans are that there's a whole section for forgiving a child student loans wow um so okay so you graduate full scholarship you are uh auditioning you're in the city immediately moved to new york and i'm like this will be easy yes we all did and you know it's not moving as fast as i wanted and i thought we're to now? No we're jumping to doing the pageant. I saw that and I thought this will be a great opportunity to

like get exposure and you know maybe meet people. This was Miss what was this one called? This is the real Miss. This is the state pageant Miss New York USA. Now this must have been you must have been doing Awesome 80s relative at the same time. Because I don't remember exactly when I met you,

but it was 2012 or 13. 13, I think. You weren't at the beginning of that show or anything. No, but I came in towards the end of it. Yeah, so I think I started around 2011, and you came in, yeah, around 2013, which is when I was Miss New York. Yes.

So it seems kind of crazy that they would even have to rely on backstage given that this is like what the second this is the highest thing right before universe just seems kind of wild that they would even advertise it backstage that these would be people who've been doing it forever. Sure but you always want new people I mean people age out. Yeah. There's an age cutoff so then you need new people. And sure, young actors and models who are beautiful, who are looking at backstage trying to get work,

that's a good place to get people who aren't like duds, you know? Well, I feel like you're going to, no offense to backstage. Yes, offense to backstage. You're going to get a lot of duds. I can see a lot of people mistakenly thinking that they should be in. But think about like, if you weren't an actor performer and like, think how many people that like, even if they have the looks,

they're not going to be as dynamic or like, they're not going to know how to be interviewed or like do that sort of thing. There is a phone interview and an in-person interview. So they can weed out. Yeah. The real duds. So you,

you apply, did you think in your wildest dreams that this would would you're applying for miss new york or you're applying for the pageant that will determine who's miss new york no for miss new york usa there's no preliminary pageants if you pay the 1800 entrance fee which covers your hotel stay for two night one night two nights your meals registration like all of that that's everything however a lot of girls will get sponsors which i tried to do but nobody wanted to sponsor me yeah so i thought well i'll invest in myself and I'll pay it. And I did. But they decided, so you did a phone interview first, then an in-person, and from that they said you're the Miss New York?

No, they said you can compete at Miss New York. Compete at Miss New York. And I picked my title that I would compete under, and it was Miss Hell's Kitchen. You just picked a borough. Well, she lived there. I lived there. Sure. So most people will pick where they live or where they're from because it's not just New York City.

There's like a Miss Albany, Rochester, Long Island. And you got to pick it though. Could someone come in and be like, I miss Malcolm X Boulevard? Yeah. How many people were competing in that then for all the New York? I want to say it was 120. Okay. It was pretty big.

Wow. And was this at, is Trump involved at this point yet? Is this at the Trump? He's only at the national level. Only the national. Mm-hmm. So then what's that competition like? What do you have to do?

So for New York, it was a swimsuit. So you had to walk in a bikini or a one-piece. One-piece won't win. Is that true? They'll never win? It's unlikely. Because if you're competing at the national and then the universe level, they're going to want to see that you are very toned, which means showing your abs.

So, walking in a bikini and very high heels, which I say is my talent. Evening gown. Any gown you want to wear, so walking in a bikini and very high heels, which I say is my talent, evening gown, anything, any gown you want to wear, walking around in that. And then it's a private interview and that's all the preliminary stuff. Then from that, the main show is when they've narrowed down the 120 to a top,

usually 15 to 20 girls. And then those top 15 and 20 do swimsuit, evening gown. They narrow it down. Then the last five do an onstage question. So they just repeat what they already did. But only the top girls get to do it again for the judges and a full audience. And is this an entertaining event or is it like weird? I mean, you're just walking.

So there are hosts. And so as you're walking, you've written down what you want the judges and the audience to know about you. So the judges might say, and next up is number 62, Joanne Nosichinsky, Miss Hell's Kitchen. Joanne has a degree in theater from Rider University. She loves coffee, puppies, and yoga. Were those your three? No, I just... No, she's just making up.

I don't really like yoga or puppies. She doesn't like anything. She likes to win. Essentially, yeah. But yeah, so that's what happens. Then you have your cheering sections, like your friends come. And yeah, now that I have to explain it,

it does sound stupid. but no it sounds like i mean here's the thing i feel like it sounds like any pageant you know what i mean like that's just what they are yeah it's like trying to explain a weird thing that's always existed that it exists for a long time it's it probably is weird but no weirder than a lot of things that we do and watch sure but i just especially like in a body positive society, I feel like I don't know what would even be discussed at this point. Like I thought she looked great. She looked happy.

The next one looks great too. They all look great. Like you're not going to see me like her arms though. The triceps a little flabby. I just don't even know what I'd say. I would love if all the judges now are just like everyone gets tens. Yeah. The triceps a little flabby. I just don't even know what I'd say. I like, I would love if all the judges now are just like, everyone gets tens.

Good. They say, can we give 11? Oh, that's really funny. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

do you, did you hire a coach at any point? Like, does that something like if you win, uh, sorry to bounce around. Uh, we're,

we're going to go back for, but yeah. Did after you won New York. So before Miss USA, I did walking lessons with, her name is Lou Sierra and she is the actual walking coach

for Miss USA. There's even a Kardashian episode where Kendall takes walking lessons with her. Oh wow. She's super well known. She lives in Harlem. You go to her like brownstone house in Harlem. You walk on her like long hallway in your heels

and she teaches you the certain turns how to take off a sarong and what's a sarong a sarong is the thing that you wear over the bikini bottom and it's tied and then when you get to the front you stop you take it off you drop it to the side you do your little spin and she teaches you kind of how to do all that and make it look effortless and she actually did help me with my walk because I watched back a video from the state pageant and I was like oh god my walk is so like rigid and like sharp and she goes yeah you're locking your knees you're hyper extending your legs you need to always have a slight bend in your knee which then makes your hips sway a little more. It betters your balance.

So it really is like a talent. It does take a lot of work. It sounds stupid, but it really does. I mean, because it's an interesting pedigree to be a walking coach. Because, well, I guess for models, too, and pageants. So there's more than one thing. I mean, I did it in college i had movement class no he didn't know what he was doing yeah honestly like at that point you're like

maybe this does need to be a little bit more niche just the walking you cover the waist down i'd one time did a really i was in a movement class no it was a movement audition uh which is not ideal and um it was for grad schools in Chicago. And I have never felt worse about, like they were, it was like very movementy in the theater class way of like, where you're like, oh,

we are like, we're not even animals. We're like, we're like wind. And like, you know, and I'll never forget that coach coming over to me and just saying, sir,

sir, because I was doing it wrong but offering no sort of guidance on what just really letting me know that i was not being winned correctly and and i've never felt worse but moving we did that for juilliard at the first juilliard audition yeah we did like a going in a circle now you're a lizard and every kid's like trying to win the audition yes in this moment yes animals and then in a circle. Now you're a lizard. And every kid's like trying to win the audition. Yes. In this moment. Yes.

Animals. And then in a hot tub. Did you do that? I don't think I did in a hot tub. At that point, I was like, I don't know if I want to go to Juilliard. You're like, change to your bikinis. We're going to do it in a hot tub right now. Please.

I would be more comfortable. It was so brutal. I mean, that whole college auditions was the worst. Because I just didn't have anyone who knew what they were talking about advising me yeah yeah and for juilliard the fire alarm went off in the middle of my monologue oh and they knew it was a warning so they're just like we'll just wait it out but i'm standing in front of the judges table and like now i i joke i would try to do something but i just remember standing there and at some point, I think I danced to the alarm.

I was like, and nothing. I mean, I was just standing there. You danced to the alarm? In the middle of my Hamlet monologue. And you look back and you're like, what would Robin Williams have done? He would have used the alarm somehow. But it was pure hell.

I don't know if they're producing Robin Williams anymore over there listen I one time no offense if you went to Juilliard but I one time saw a show where they basically

on Broadway and I think it was what's that show where the woman has cancer Cynthia Cynthia Nixon played it I saw that Wit

yes and all I remember it made me I was very sick when I saw the show Manhattan Theater Club yes but I remember reading and I think maybe it wasn't Juilliard very sick when I saw the show Manhattan Theater Club yes but I remember reading

and I think maybe it wasn't Juilliard very sick you had COVID at the time no no this is years ago we'd never the first case knew what COVID was

but I was very sick at the time I remember being like really kind of out of it but I remember laughing so hard in one part because because

no Cynthia Nixon I think was great I can't really remember she was amazing i think it was 2012 i think she was very good but what i remember at the time was it was it might not have been juilliard but it was some program in the city where all the like the acting students who just graduated were now like playing like the small parts yes the doctors and nurses and there was one moment where she dies i think and they're like and they had to react and it was like it was watching they didn't really have lines until the end of the show and

so it was like someone's big moment was to be like doctor what are we gonna do and it was so big and so broad and it completely took me out of Cynthia Nixon dying. And I laughed so hard because it was so bad. And they were like, look at all these Juilliards. And so this isn't me shitting on Juilliard, but it is kind of. And fuck those programs. Fuck those programs. They produce these boring ass fucking actors now.

And they're not producing Robin Williams anymore. They're producing these people that are like, oh, they all sound the same. They all look the same. I'm sick of it. I think Robin dropped out. They're producing these people that are like, oh, they all sound the same. They all look the same. I'm sick of it. I think Robin dropped out. Good. Anyways. How did we get here?

I don't know. Oh, John Marcus Juilliard audition. Movement class. You took the class with the woman in the brownstone. Oh, yeah. The walking lessons. The question is just how much money. She has a brownstone in Harlem.

That's pretty expensive. And has a long enough hallway to teach walking lessons. If she's coaching Kardashians and walking. I don't think money she is a brownstone in harlem that's pretty expensive and has a long enough hallway i mean she's coaching kardashian i don't think she's the whole brownstone she was a whole like a floor that's still pretty impressive yeah uh so so you you made it to the the next round down to 15 20 you do it again do you remember what your question was on stage yeah i had two questions the first questions. The first was, what would you tell your 10-year-old self? And I said, oh, don't sweat the small stuff.

You're going to be fine. And everyone loved that. That was like the icebreaker question. And then my next question was, do you think gay couples should have the same right to marriage as straight couples? Amazing.

Amazing. Amazing. Those two questions. And you were Miss Hell's Kitchen. Yes. and also keep in mind though this is 2013 which is I think technically before the Supreme Court

wasn't that like 2015 I thought it happened when I was in college I thought I was in grad school so they were still like they were doing it after the decision do you disagree with the supreme court saying that i can't remember who knows but to me it was like i'm in new york this isn't this is such an obvious answer like there's only one way to answer but also sometimes these girls have a really bad habit of just digging a hole yeah And they just keep digging it. Oh, miss Long Island. And they just keep digging it.

And so I, my answer was, I am a believer in equal human rights. And I think, and my sister said, Joanne, you really screwed up when you answered. This is what I said. See if you agree with her.

I said, I think I should have the same rights as every single person in this auditorium. So yes. Oh, you sounded like a lesbian. I sounded like a lesbian, butium. So yes. Oh, you sounded like a lesbian. I sounded like a lesbian. But I said, yes, I think that gay couples should have the right to marry.

Which is not what I, I mean, I'm not a lesbian. But it just meant like we are all equals. But anyways, I later learned one of the judges is a woman who has like a lot of gay besties. And she was like, as soon as you gave your answer, I was like, I turned to the other judges and I was like, she has to win. Vote for her. Were there people there that said no? That's what I'm wondering.

No, we only got, we got individual questions. Oh, you don't know. I was the only one who had that. One girl, her answer. Well, they were like Hell's Kitchen. She's probably a safe bet. She's going to say yes. One girl, I can't remember what her question was, but in her

answer, she revealed that she had a heart condition and she had gone through heart surgery. And as I was number five to go, I was the last one. I think she was number four and I was like, oh, Jesus. And the question had nothing to do with heart girl here. Yeah. It was like,

do you believe Puerto Rico should be a state? Well, listen, I'm able to love them despite my heart condition that almost took my life. How, why do you think, do you think you won really because of that, that she thought you were a lesbian? No, no, no, no, no. I do not think it was that. I don't think it came out sounding that way. My sister is the only person who said that to me.

I mean, all I know about your sister, at least from this, is that she made fun of your back brace and got her friends to do so too and said you came off like a lesbian. She's a great woman. She's getting married tomorrow, by the way. Oh, my God. She'll already be married by the time this comes out. Wow.

But, yeah, no, I think I won because I was composed. I gave short, great answers. Because were they all theater kids, or were some of them really awkward on stage? I was the only theater person. Sure. So that's how I gave myself confidence, because it was at the SUNY Purchase Theater,

is where they held the pageant. So I was like, this is is great i'm a theater kid this is my home this is my turf i'm gonna win yeah and did they announce it right then and there that night yeah how were you like oh my god is this how i make it like is this were you like this oh my god this is the moment i'm gonna be miss that's a that's a big deal well okay yeah as i was training at the gym right to get ready i'd be on the treadmill and i would envision like i would do countdowns on the treadmill like intervals and when i would get down to five seconds four seconds i would envision like top five calling

four three two and i would envision myself on five calling four, three, two. And I would envision myself on the stage. And it totally happened like that. Like I totally saw it and it totally happened exactly the way I envisioned it. But then I won and I was like, oh, now I have to go to Miss USA. Like I didn't plan for that. Oh crap. Like I got to keep going. And what's the turnaround time between like what's in between Miss New York and then Miss USA? So New York was one of the last pageants in January. And then USA was in June. So like six months.

Okay. So then you're really training. You're really, you're. Are you doing more? Are you like, I've got to walk in class two times a day? So you then get tons of sponsors and partnerships when you win. So I had trainers. They worked at a place called Kettlebell Kickboxing,

which is part of like a martial arts studio. So cool. I love my trainers. My one trainer, Janelle Stevens, is kick-ass. She is now a stunt double for a lot of movies. She was in the Wakanda Forever movie. What's that? Black Panther.

Black Panther. What? I didn't watch it. The Wakanda Forever movie. I didn't watch it. The RBG Wakanda Forever movie. Ruth Kanda. That's all I know.

But she was one of these warrior women in it. Yeah. Incredible. But she played for Yukon Basketball and she was so positive. It was these classes where it was high intensity interval training with kettlebells. And I just like felt like a badass.

So suddenly they're invested in you. They're like you are now representative of New York. Oh, yeah. And so like I got all these things for free, which is great. I had like clothing sponsorships with like BB and Pinky Otto. I got lots of stuff given to me or lent to me. Money prize at all? No.

And that's the issue. So like I would go to events, right? Because you want the exposure. But it would be on a Friday night and I'd have to take off bartending and I would typically make like $350 on a Friday night. And you're like, oh, I'm not going to like make, I don't get money for making an're like oh I'm not gonna like make I don't get money for making an appearance like I'm not a celebrity so it was hard but I guess it ended up paying off

I don't know I had a good time and I'm not in debt yeah yeah we already got to that bad threat show so it did so you're training and in your mind is it like I'm gonna be I guess it's like well what do you work you want to be even more fit I guess it's like, well, what do you work? You want to be even more fit? I mean, you already were fit for the thing. Are you trying to be like, I'm going to, you know, weigh zero? Well, and here's the thing. I was emaciated.

I think I was a hundred pounds wet and at five, five, that is way too thin. But I looked incredible on camera because the camera does add like 10 pounds. So like 110 would have been perfect. But no, I think you get in your mind. Like every body is different. But people are like, yeah, you can't have the bread, the sugar, the dairy. So I cut all of that out. But I would still drink wine at lunch because my body was like craving sugar.

And I was stressed. But a few days before I left for Miss USA, I got bed bugs. So the stress of that and the walking up and down the stairs of my fifth floor apartment to like wash all of my clothing. Oh my God. Transport it to God bless my parents, the hotel they put me up in for two nights before I left for Miss USA I would then like bring my clean stuff to the safe hotel and like I was like I can't spread bed bugs to 50 states I can't I can't do it did you have like marks like were you nervous about like having like well I thought it was a reaction to my spray tans oh no and it what didn't look like bites it just

looked like kind of like a blotchy tan. And then one day I was changing my sheets. I was like, I don't know. Let me look at the head of my bed. Because I'd always look at the foot of my bed. And I saw like so many bugs. I've had them too. I think the worst part, I had built a little voiceover studio like in my closet.

When I say voiceover i mean like the sound pads and blankets and i saw like a bug and it was like flat it was so flat that like i would try to kill it like with the blanket and it like couldn't quite do it because it was so flat and then you google and you look at the pictures and you're like it's kind of like when you look at like a bump down there and you're like it kind of looks like a pimple but then it's like like it was like looking at the bug and you're like laser it kind of looks like a pimple. But then it's like, like it was like looking at the bug and you're like, laser burn, yeah.

Yeah, you're like, yeah, yeah, that's a beetle. That's just a, that's just an emaciated beetle. It's just a Miss New York beetle. Yeah. And then it was, and I got it early enough,

but for mine, they went in the corner of like these doors. Like whenever I'm scared about bed bugs, I always look in the corners of these doors because that's where mine went.

Yeah. You ever had bed bugs? No. Knock on wood. I'm really hoping that like COVID just knocked them out with everyone just staying at home and not going to movie theaters. It's hard.

I remember like finding, it's hard to believe that everywhere doesn't have it because you're like, well, they can survive without food for months. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And luckily I had a friend who had like all the bed bug. She worked at a bed bug company.

So she gave me these like poison sticks. I'm still convinced gave me cancer or will give me cancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they were just in my apartment. Did you eat them? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It was horrible.

I remember putting everything in the dryer. If I had bed bugs again, I would pay any amount of money to just go away, have someone take care of everything, and come back. I moved. Sure. Well, what happened was, so I really wanted to win Miss USA

because if you win, you moved into Trump Tower. For how long? Is that true? For the year. So I was like, I could leave these bed bugs behind me. I could just move.

Do you get just a one bedroom in Trump Tower? You share it with Miss Universe. And if she's old enough, Miss Teen USA. Wait. That is so crazy. Okay. So Trump is now, you know when you're going to this thing that Trump's going to be there? Yeah.

He owns it. Yeah. And were you, so you, bed bugs, you go to the hotel, you get a little bit of sleep. Yeah. You go to Vegas. Yeah. And you meet the 40, 50 others, because DC, 50 other people. And how long is this whole Vegas thing?

What's different? So Vegas is about three weeks. Wow. We're living there. We lived in Planet Hollywood. They're paying for everything at least? Yes. Okay.

So we're living there for about three weeks, but there's something every day. Like it's either fittings or it's appearances or it's rehearsals, and it's rehearsals for the preliminary show, which is not televised, and then it's rehearsals for the televised show. Then you need to do rehearsals where different girls get in the top 15. So the choreographers can be like, okay, if this girl makes it, you take her spot. It's like, you're all swings

for each other. Um, which is nuts how these choreographers have to plan all that out. But so it's a lot of rehearsals, but you know one day you are going to be meeting Trump. So you have the dress that you'll be wearing when you're going to meet Trump. And is everyone like, we're going to meet Trump? Well, here's the thing. Trump, there were rumors about this, so I'm not sure how accurate it is, but people have said that he would personally select around seven girls, five to seven, to be in the top 15. And they would pretend that the judges determined this later, but he would be.

Sort of. Yeah. And that he was partial to blondes. So it's one of those things where it's like, well, I don't know that he's going to like me. But so we would all line up. It would be him and someone with a notepad. And he'd go up and shake hands with the girl. Maybe make a nod to someone with a notepad.

Like it was kind of obvious who he liked or not. Oh my God. This one right here. He comes up to me and he goes, New York. I hear the weather's nice there. Smooth fox. Because he lives there. He lives there. I'm the weather's nice there. Smooth fox. Because he lives there. He lives there.

I'm like, yeah. I literally think I just said, sure is. They're like, yeah. Because I'm like, this is it? This is all you got? Yeah. You don't deserve more of an answer from me. But he was very nice.

There are girls from my year who said he was peeking in dressing rooms and doing all this crazy weird shit i didn't notice any of that there was always security and always like chaperones rooms i guess made yeah they separated us we were segregated was it your year that people because i remember the things that i saw because there was there's a comedian who will have on at some point where he worked for the pageants and he came for david castle some castle something and um he was the one who said he talked about him doing uh adderall or snorting the adderall he said something about he he would put his fingers in the mouths and check the gums and something about something would put his fingers in the mouths and check the gums.

And something about, something more intense, something more graphic about butt cheeks and whatnot. But it made it sound very, very rough. Yeah. I don't know who all did that. Yeah. But, yeah, again, I can only speak to my experience. Your experience, yeah. And that was not it.

But when he came, he saw all 50 of you, all 51 of you were lined up and it was just one by one. Yes. But again, I can only speak to my experience. And that was not it. But when he came, he saw all 50 of you, all 51 of you were lined up. And it's just one by one. Yes. It sounds like deflating to see who he was nice to. And did he just skip past some people? I mean, he spent a little more time with some people than other people. Yeah.

But it's just like one of those things. You're like, at this point at this point there's nothing I can do about it of course so you know yeah it is what it is yeah I mean this is also pre him

even being a political person he's just the TV guy yeah this is back when I would have been like I would have been like yo I met Trump today I mean it's pre any of the

like it's pre me too like there's like a thing of like it's just now it's done yeah everyone lines up and then the TV guy comes and he's like, beep, beep. You know, like, that's. Yeah. People will believe this.

By the way, I then met and interviewed Trump years later. Oh, right. When I was at Fox. And it was right before he announced he was running for president. He was like sort of floating around the idea. And I remember thinking, Oh my God, it's going to be so embarrassing when he tries to run for president. No one's going to vote for him. Literally. That's what I thought in my head. Yeah. I mean, yeah. You weren't alone. Did you encourage him or did you try to shut it down?

You know, we, it was when, uh, I was doing early Greg Gutfeld show and it was me and Greg and Greg was like, Hey, what role would I have in your White House if you become president? He's like, I think you'd be a great press secretary. And I'm just sitting there nodding. I'm like, uh-huh. I forget what I asked him about, like superstitions or like something weird. Superstition or like the border. Do we need to make it more secure?

But no, he was he was very charming. That's the thing. It's like when you meet him in person, he has this, or at least then, I can speak to like seven years ago, this ability to make you feel important, which I think is what most people want to feel. Sure. And when you're in the room with someone who you think is so important and is such a tycoon and has had you know a life you're like oh wow like this person is like asking me questions about me like that's crazy yeah what's your cup size wow look at your trump impression a couple years too late a couple years too late but i had it in the camera is this how you do what's your breast size do you know what a cup is? What's your breast?

So when you were doing this, when you were in it, were you like, was there a difference between the women who were like, this is all bullshit, but listen, if I win, I get some good things. Or like,

were there some women who were like, I want to be Miss USA. Yeah. I want to be the prettiest woman in the world. I think it's in the middle of both of those weird examples. I'm just saying, was there anyone who was like, this is fucking bullshit. Oh my God, fuck.

It's just like, it's just older men. It's so much work. Here's my cynical view. My cynical view is like, this is older men going, this woman's hotter. Give it to her. Listen, there were some girls who definitely had more fun with it. I remember Miss Florida my year. She's 20. Give it to her. There were some girls who definitely had more fun with it. Like I remember Miss Florida, my year, she's 20. God bless her. The metabolism of what, whatever has a

high metabolism. She's just eating donuts at breakfast and just like shoving it in everyone's face. She's like, I just had my third donut today. Or, you know, and then there are some girls who are taking it very seriously, going to the gym, working out like that's kind of more of the annoying thing. Um, but then there were other girls, um, like I think me and my roommate Stacy, who on our one day off,

we got our nails done. We went to an Italian restaurant, we smelled the bread and we each got a glass of wine and we're like, this is fucking incredible. You just smelled the bread. Yeah. I mean, we got salads.

That's good. Wow. Yeah. That's a downside. Just smelling the bread. Yeah. That is very sad. We got salads. That's good. Yeah, that's a downside, just smelling the bread. Yeah, that is. I mean, did you go hog wild after you were done? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but hog wild for her is half a slice of bread. Yeah, it's like half a bagel. Oh, yeah. I can't eat the whole thing.

I'm too full. I don't know what you saw. I guess hog wild in your head. Joanne just eating three Big Macs what you saw. Like, it's hog wild in your head. Joanne just eating three Big Macs in a row. So, okay, so the big day comes. You have the preliminary, which is anything decided there, or is it? The top 15 is decided from the preliminary scores. They pick the highest 15 scores, cumulatively, of the evening gown, interview, and swimsuit. So were you even on the TV program? You saw me walk down and go,

Joanne Nozichinsky, 23. How old was I then? 24. 24, New York. Although it might have been a voiceover. I don't even think I said that live. I think it was a voiceover. So yeah, you saw me walk,

and you saw me dance behind the Jonas Brothers in a bikini and then that was about it and was that the dance was it as simple as what you just showed me truly how much

and then when you find that out how much more time do you have to invest in being there as a part of the thing oh my god some of these girls

when they found out they're not top 15 are sobbing in the back yeah meanwhile I then went up to the choreographer and I was like I think you did this on purpose Oh my God. Some of these girls, when they found out they're not top 15 are sobbing in the back. Yeah. Meanwhile, I then went up to the choreographer and I was like, I think you did this on purpose. You wanted me to be in the center for the choreography.

Didn't you? You wanted me to stay in your dance number. Cause the top 15 weren't in the dance number because they were going to parade in their swimsuits. So I was like, it's okay. I under, I'll take one for the team.

Um, so I tried to have a good attitude about it. It sucked, but again, I was like, but this is, people are seeing me dance on stage. People are seeing how captivating I am. I will steal the spotlight from all of these bitches in my bikini doing my five, six, seven, eight. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. I mean, it sucks. It more just sucks because they took so much of your time. They take a lot. And then when you're done with that... Yeah, but like it was kind of like a really cool three weeks in Vegas. Yeah.

Like we got to do VIP stuff that like not most people get to do. I was in Vegas for a week and I need a... I do not want to go back to Vegas for a long time. Three weeks seems tough. But also, we couldn't leave our hotel floor unless it was for an event or for rehearsals. Oh, weird. We had a hospitality suite, like the huge suite that's on the floor. We could hang out in.

There were snacks. You could use Wi-Fi, whatever. But you couldn't leave the floor because there was security by the elevators. Like you weren't allowed to. Yeah. And so the Jonas brothers were there. Trump was there. Any other big, any of the big folks?

Juliana Rancic was the other host. Who's that? She's married to Bill Rancic. She was E, E news. She does the red carpets. I recognize the name, but not the face. How do I put this nicely? She looks kind of like an ant.

Oh, well, okay. How would you put that? The nicest way you could probably say that. So anyone who's listening right now, who knows what she looks like, totally agrees with me.

Looking back, do you think you would have won if you hadn't smelled the bread? Looking back, do you think you would have won if you hadn't smelled the bread? Looking back, is there anything that you could have done, do you think? Or would have done differently. I should have eaten the bread. No, so I had a publicist through this whole time.

That's also another thing I was given when I won New York, was a publicist. And she was like, honestly, you're petite. You're only 5'5", and then you were so thin that I think you were just a little too tiny.

Because again, you win a modeling contract. I feel like I'm going to put it on you. You win a modeling contract, and you're competing at Miss Universe with Miss Venezuela and Brazil and these huge, tall, hunky, curvy, like fabulous women. This new girl, she's real hunky. Ooh, hunkster.

Yeah. Why did I say hunky? But anyways, so I get it. Like, I don't think if I were Miss USA, I would have done well at Miss Universe. Who won Miss Universe that year? Um, so Erin Brady was USA. She, I think think made top 10 i can't remember it might have been philippines

i think it might have been philippines is russia competing in this is this like every country russia's it's not every country i think it's like 80 countries um but usually russia's is russia there yeah usually russia's there china no i don't think china but maybe some smaller countries around china i don't know my geography either and so do you i think there's a part of me again this is a judgmental part of me where i'm like all this beauty competition should go because like why if you don't like it don't watch it sure i just it's it's something about i think it's just something to me about like the people in charge of it it just feels like it's easy for it to be toxic it's easy for it to be like people not eating but what isn't sure yeah you're like on the on

the scale of priorities in america right sure sure well okay sure let's play that game so nothing nothing should be changed no i'm just water if the heater doesn't work okay i'm saying like i don't know i feel like there's oh i i'm sure they and some part you've said that they are adapting of like people What do you think of beauty competitions? Full, full. I have never thought about it because I don't, it was not part of my life. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's not like,

uh, I, I don't, and I, you're the only person I know that has participated in one. And I've, I've, and I don't even know anyone who's gone to one.

Like I've like in to watch it as a sport. Like, I don't know who's doing that. So you're like so I really just because you're not friends with doesn't feel connected to my life in any way so um uh I just feel like you could push for changes it just feels like why push first what what to what end like what well yeah like but I see I don't know it's I listen I'm not fully settled but I see why like they're, get rid of the bikini thing.

Like, it's just like, obviously they did that because people are trying to be more body positive. I think there is a struggle of figuring out what does body positivity mean in relation to can you have beauty, like these things kind of come. Sure, I mean, but listen, you're going to get rid of the bikini competition. I mean, but listen, you're going to get rid of the bikini competition. But then you just what you're sitting in the audience, scrolling Instagram and you see so many women showing off their figures and bikinis on there anyway. We're still going to see their heads, you know, and at least on stage. It's not photoshopped, right? Sure. Like, isn't Photoshop toxic?

We shouldn't be auto tuning, face tuning, all of that stuff. So like at least on a stage, it's what a person really looks like. But the thing that I forgot to mention is that there's always platforms in pageantry. Like charities and organizations that you work with. So that is a good thing. Yeah. Like Trump University. So when all those accusations came out about Trump at the pageant, did people reach out to you and ask, like,

did he stick his fingers in your gums? You know what? I am pissed off that not only was I in Trump's pageant, I worked at Fox News Channel, and no one interviews me to be like, did any of these men do any... Like, no one... Maybe they just figure that my answer would be,

I had a great time. Yeah. Peace. But like, yeah, no, no, no one's reached out.

The Fox News thing too. Yeah. Did the Fox thing come about because of the Miss New York thing? For sure. I did my first, my first appearance on Fox News channel was on Neil Cavuto's show. I debated with him as Miss New York. I like wore my sash about at the time Bloomberg soda ban.

Do you remember that? Like sodas over a certain size wouldn't be sold anymore. So as an advocate for health and fitness, I was on the side of the mayor. Like you don't need to buy the large soda. You can buy smaller ones if you really want it. Buy multiples. Or you know what's cheaper and delicious?

New York City tap water. New York tap water. Some of the best water in the world. And then BuzzFeed kind of picked that up. Was it BuzzFeed? One of these outlets was like, is Neil Cavuto flirting with this beauty queen? Because we had like a back and forth going on.

And then anyways, I actually ended up knowing the producer. I was friends with her on Cavuto. And then I think she had like pitched me or someone else saw my appearance, another producer. And so then I did appearances on Red Eye. And then there was an open spot and I joined as a co-host full time. And do you mind if I ask,

in terms of, you know, we're a pretty liberal show here. Yeah. How did you feel, was there any hesitation of working with Fox at the time? Or did it feel like it was like a funny, Red Eye used to be

a big comedian stopping point. Yeah. Amy Schumer had like, it was like a early, like comics first kind of TV gig. Yeah. And. Michael Che, I was there for his first

television experience. Wow. He was on the panel. His publicist was also there. He's sitting next to me. And there's three cameras. But like a panel show, you're not looking directly into the camera when you're talking because you're having a conversation. And at one point he was like, what camera do I look into? And we're like, this was before SNL, like before anything.

And we're like, oh, no, you can just talk. Yeah. He was so green. And then very shortly after that, he booked SNL. He exploded quick. He had been doing stand-up

for three years. I mean, he moved beyond fast. Yeah. That's a famous story when Oprah did The Color Purple, which she is amazing in but she was doing

a scene with Whoopi and apparently she was saying the lines to the camera and Steven Spielberg was like, holy shit, we fucked up.

Yeah. But she's amazing in that. Well, you've always wanted to have Gutfeld on the show but he's probably too big for it now. Yeah,

we've talked about Gutfeld a lot, you and I. And how long were you on Red Eye? Like two and a half years? Yeah. That's how long I was at Fox for.

And then I did Gutfeld Show for about a year. And then it became the revamped Gutfeld Show that's now on daily. But I was just on it like once a week. Yeah. But no, I helped write for these shows too, which was a really great experience. And I would film what I called millennial moments, which were like little sketches about being a millennial

or man on the street kind of segments. I hated those. I always get so embarrassed having to talk to people. That's just the worst. I can handle it if someone does the initial ask and brings them over, but something about the rejection of, hi, could I talk?

No. It's awful i i hate it it's not in my system to do what billy eichner does and just like annoys people i feel hard anytime i watch any of those ones where they're dressed up as someone doing something else i'm like i don't know how they do that even if they're dressed well a lot of it is location so we would always do times square because there's always tourists who are willing to talk or like one avenue over and then we would usually remove the flag that said fox news channel and we would put on like a red eye one or a gutfeld flag so that people be like where is this airing what is this on when we're done it's like fox you're like oh my fox

Fox. You're like, Oh my God. But no, at this, like you said, so there were a lot of comedians who started on the show. For me,

it was just an opportunity to stop bartending. So I'm like, and I never really, you know, I never had to change my views. I was never like super right or left. I would just try to find the funny always. Or if a viewpoint wasn't represented, I would just argue it. Cause that's what's fun. Sure. With Godfell, you have to have just try to find the funny always or if a viewpoint wasn't represented i would just argue it because that's what's fun sure with gutfeld you have to have someone trying

to find the funny oh well yeah i mean that's kind of the point of his show he would hate that you said that um but yeah it's um as soon as people take themselves too seriously which i think what the right is really turning into is then when you're like, I got to get out of here. And also, as I just was getting older, I was like, but I really want an acting career.

And being in this institution is not going to help me get there. You did, you left. So I left, I left a whole lot of money. Yeah. Yeah. And now I'm back to bartending.

Guys, cause I have standards. Well well that's the problem with and listen i i mean you left it like a good i mean because it probably would like you oh my god they wanted me to stay through the election yeah and you left before the election and and and that really like like thinking of like long-term things being under that establishment for that time period and then into that time period could have been pretty damaging or limiting to what you you know your future like in terms of yeah i just think it's rough comedically i mean liberals do this too but i do think it happens more on the right

where it's like comedy's hard to do and so whenever you you know if you run out of the jokes you just start leaning into sincere views or like sharing political opinions because it's easier it's easier to just be like well this is the problem that's not a joke but it gets people riled up and it becomes more and more that yeah because it's easier yeah it's hard to be original and funny and you know it's like when snl sings the song i miss you obama like it's like you know it's it's eventually you're like fuck we have three more minutes to do. Jokes are tough. Let's just say I miss Obama, the president. You fucking losers. You know, or they'll find that one nugget of funny and then spend like a five minute monologue on it.

You're like, okay, but you're actually missing the whole point. Or you're not getting to the point because you know it would make you seem hypocritical or like you're in the wrong. the whole point or you're not getting to the point because you know it would make you seem hypocritical or like you're in the wrong so let's just focus on this one overdone nugget yeah that that you found humor in um so yeah i think that otherwise it's then like you said just kind of becomes preachy yeah in a weird way and you're like but this is supposed to be entertainment question mark yeah the same way i feel i had a an ex-girlfriend like one time that her dad showed me like like a

Christian comics like full hour set and I feel the same way about when I watch that as sometimes watching like like Colbert now like where you're like the same feeling of like I don't know who this is for it's not for me

it's not making me feel like i can be i can with colbert i can listen and be like sure i agree on some things yeah or as opposed i didn't agree but but there's thing of like this isn't comedy like this isn't a thing you know it's it's just this it's uh and it's so popular now on on all fronts of course so it's pretty frustrating. I mean, we talk about it a lot. All right, well, let's go on to our next segment. This has got to stop. This has got to stop.

Do you have a This Has Got to Stop for us today? Yeah. Do you have a lot of mothers that listen? Just yours. Yeah. Probably one or two. Okay. The mothers who

complain or post on social media that they haven't had a hot cup of coffee in years to which I say neither have I because the physics

of coffee is it gets cold yeah guess what I'm busy doing my makeup and I forget my coffee is there and i have to heat it up in the microwave sure i'm not taking care of a child but i also have a life and

responsibilities and i can't finish that cup of coffee quickly yeah how fast are they drinking coffee that stays hot the whole time do you know what mean? Who wants to just sit and drink a cup of coffee? Nobody. Yeah, no, I agree. I think anything where a person who is a parent is being like, I remember the days, like when you're saying

you're doing anything, you know, and they're like, you're like, what are you doing tonight? And you're like, just staying home watching TV. Must be nice. Yeah.

Like, okay, well then go fucking kill your kid. And like, I don don't know like you decided i'll watch about it you decided about this i didn't don't don't like also like i know you can because those things generally get put some people do it we're like i just don't have the time watching tv till 11 p.m at night like i'm saying that baby should have been in bed hours ago at that point so like like i i bet you could you could figure it out i think we should be able to get back to them like right

before we die when there's no one around our beds we should be able to be like oh must be nice must be nice must be nice it's like a video of like no one yeah yeah just a video message to anyone who has kids and be like yeah yeah, alone in this room. That's funny. But they will have stopped speaking to you. That would be a good way to end into the final part. But we have. I like that.

Moms. Moms. Maybe if you maybe if you spend more time putting on makeup, your husbands would warm that coffee up for you. Or maybe, I don't know, put it in a microwave. Yeah. I microwave. I microwave this here.

I microwave my coffee cup at least twice throughout the course of me drinking it. I worry sometimes. I worry about... I remember when my grandpa got a pacemaker and it was like something he had to leave the room before the microwave because they said the microwave... Oh, yeah. I remember that. And I don't know if it was real or it was a tiny percentage, but I just remember having to be like,

Grandpa, go! This coffee is lukewarm! Get out of here! I like to imagine you in an empty apartment still reflexively yelling, I'm gonna start the microwave! Grandpa, go! My grandpa saw me by the microwave.

He's like, must be nice. Must be nice. Watching the microwave. Speed it. Let me do a quick This Is God stuff. My microwave, and I feel like this is a lot of people's microwaves, where after it finishes, every couple 30 seconds, it does the beeps.

Why? Why? Because you know what? A busy mother forgets it's in there. A fridge is okay. Tova gets upset because my fridge does the, it does beep. But I'm like, you know what? I need to know.

It helps you if you're not going to ruin food. Yeah, and it's annoying when you're putting in your groceries, and you're like, is there a button that we can stop it for three minutes? There's nothing that you, if you put in the microwave and it stopped, you would need to keep knowing, really. Unless it's just to help someone be like, reminder,

reminder, you did something. But it's too long. It's too many beeps. Too many beeps. It's crazy. Great. Let's go on to our final segment. Yeah. You better count your blessings. I'll start this one off.

I do, since we didn't talk about Douglas enough. Douglas, I know Douglas is going to be like, okay, enough of this pageant shit. Back to Douglas. You think he's actually going to listen? Oh, Douglas listens to every episode. Does he really? Yeah, at least portions of it. Is that just what he tells you? This will be the first time he's ever listened to you? Oh, Douglas listens to every episode. Does he really? Yeah, at least portions of it.

Is that just what he tells you? This will be the first time he's ever listened to you on a podcast. Oh, I know. No, I tell him not to listen to mine. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. Sure. I'm like, why?

Although I talk about him in every show. When Tova stops, what do they call him on your show? They call him Hot Dog Douglas? Oh, yeah. What do they call him? Hot Dog Fingers? Hot Dog Lover? Hot Dog Lover.

Hot Dog Lover? I don't know. Why? No, we were all once at a barbecue, Oh, yeah. What do they call them? Hot dog fingers? Hot dog lover? Hot dog lover. I don't know. Why? No, we were all once at a barbecue, and Douglas got two hot dogs, one for me, one for him. And they were like, boy, this guy loves hot dogs. Oh, man. Brutal.

Brutal nickname. Brutal. You just pick up two hot dogs, and that's it. Now, whenever we're by Nathan's, I make him stand under, and we take a picture, and then I show it on the show. Wow. Well, I will throw out my blessing to Douglas and to you and to Nicole and Chris. They all came.

They did. We did a beat the bomb. As I said in the beginning, I got it for free as an influencer. And you guys were all game and you do like it's not escape roomy really it's just an activity and you do different rounds and the most fun one is there's lasers

and you have to like a spy like jump over all the lasers jump and crawl oh wow and then yeah I think we had a lot of fun we did have a lot of fun and my blessing is to the manager who finally figured out that we were trapped in the last room. We were waiting in the room. We're sitting on the floor.

Because we have to wait to go to the next room. 20 plus minutes. Initially, a guy came in and he said, oh, just wait a minute. They're not quite done. Or they're fixing something. Something happened. And then he left. So then we're 20, 25 minutes.

We're just kind of sitting in this room. And it's crazy to wait this long. People are opening the other door. So the other door, there's a kid. I mean, this is mostly for children. Yeah. And the kids keep opening the door. I imagine you're the only full-grown adult.

We were. We were for sure. Absolutely. All kids screaming around you in the other rooms. And so then all five of us, we gather outside of the door that this kid keeps opening to see when they can move in. The same kid keeps opening.

So we were like, this will be funny. We'll stand at the door when he opens. So we're all just looking at it. Standing at the door just looking. And so the moment he opens it, there's five grown adults staring at him. And he shuts the door immediately. So we're having a lot of fun in this room where we can't move and nothing's happening. And then all of a sudden the manager comes in and says,

oh, how long have you guys been here? And we were like, oh, like 20 minutes. He goes, okay, oh my God. They had lost our information. They didn't know we were there. They were confused anyways. They offered us a free to go back. They did, yes. Wait, but didn't this happen to you guys before?

You did an escape room and they forgot to put the key? For my birthday, we did an escape room and it was a haunted house themed. And we made it to the end and we opened the final laser, final mirror to the final box. We opened the box and it was empty. And it was clearly like something should have been in this box. Yes. And then the person, the woman at the desk opened the door totally out of character. This whole thing was like, ooh.

And she opened this door with the final key in her hand and she said i forgot the key you escaped the room and she had just forgotten to set that last piece it was really awful and and then she offered us a 10 discount on the next escape room yeah because you were like you had no satisfaction from yeah it was like the moment so shitty you're like no you had no satisfaction from having to escape. It was so shitty. You're like, no, we didn't escape. Taking away that moment was really, really... It was like sex, and then right before you come,

a woman comes in and says, you escaped the room. Good one. And there, John Marco. And there, right there. You're really sassy today. I like this. A lot of critiques of my style. I feel more comfortable.

So fish food as a flavor is what? Okay. So it's chocolate ice cream with little chocolate fish candies, a marshmallow swirl, and a caramel swirl. Okay. Fish like the band. Fish. and jerry's and it's like they they like advertise it like as such like the fish i think it's like this is what you want to eat when you get high yeah yeah got it that makes sense to me yeah yeah um so do you have a what you're gonna go your phone right now yeah i have a lot of work calls I missed.

What's your blessing? I think I did this wrong. Is it just something I'm thankful for? What did you, tell me what you thought it was. I thought it was, what's something you're thankful for?

Yeah. But is it supposed to be a person? No, it could be anything. Oh, okay, great. It could be anything. Okay, I am really, speaking of food,

I am really thankful I do not have any food allergies. That is really good. Hear that, Tova? And let me tell you, if you are looking for something to say at Thanksgiving, if you have to go around a table to say what you're thankful for, no food allergies, crowd pleaser. Everyone's like, oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yes, Jean's right. And I don't. My mother has celiac disease, so she can't have any gluten. It makes her very sick. She developed it when she was like 45. Oh, that's so scary. And I did the ancestry or the DNA. I spit in a tube.

Apparently, and they'll tell you. That was part of the Trump thing? Yes. There's a, I got back another tube of liquid. There's a gene that can detect celiac. And there's two genes. I have one of them. But most Eastern European people do.

Just because I have this gene doesn't mean I'll get celiac disease. But I have a higher likelihood, which I already knew. So right now I'm just, I'm enjoying those half bagels. Do you get scared that one day you're going to take a bite of that bagel

and be like, ooh, it doesn't feel good? Sort of, but I'm more nervous if I stop having something that I'll develop the intolerance, which will become the allergy. That's how it, I thought,

I don't know how any of that works other than give your babies peanuts. That's how it, I thought, I don't know how, what, how any of that works other than give your babies peanuts. That's what I know is like the thing because that, that'll help them develop.

But I don't know if it's like you stop eating something for a little and then you become allergic. I think just in general, if there's something your body isn't used to, your system isn't used to it,

it's then like a foreign something like. Yeah. Entering it. Well, that was, that was a good one. And then, and then I think we can

all agree, Douglas, just a bonus for Douglas. Yeah. People love his music every time. We're all thankful for Douglas. They always say, who wrote that music? And we're going to have him on soon. Sometimes they wake back up like they haven't been present and then they're like, whoa, that. I like that.

Nothing else about the moment I walked in, didn't like any of it. But I like that. I had about the moment I walked in didn't like any of it. But I like that. But I like that. Yeah, I had to listen to your theme song so much. Oh yeah,

when he was composing. Yeah, in the apartment. What do you mean he really worked on that? I thought like Doug is like, what do I do? Downs and then it's done.

Yeah, but did you hear the layered vocals? Do you know at the different like pitches he had to sing downside and meld it all together and then him saying your name? I was actually like, are you sure you're saying it right?

Is it John Marco Ceresi? I was like, is it Ceresi or Ceresi? And I totally got in his head and then he had to talk to you. Oh my God, really? Ceresi. Very funny, somebody made a theme song for you that said, Joanne Nosichonsky. Well, you know

I'm taking Douglas's last name. When we get married. Good heart's a good name. Goodbye Nosichonsky. Joanne Goodheart sounds so much better. Joanne Goodheart is a good, it's a good name.

I sound like an 80 year old actress and I'm here for it. Joanne Goodheart. What's your middle name? I don't have one. This is the downside. One, two, three. Downside.

Downside. Downside.