The Downside with Gianmarco Soresi - #93 Walking The Audience with Corinne Fisher

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

Corinne Fisher joins to talk walking audience members, what to do when confronted by quicksand, why good looking people need to stop getting into stand-up comedy, maintaining friendship with a work partner, running your dad’s comedian-run baseball card store after he died, and how lucky it is to be Jewish and Italian yet not as hairy as Gianmarco. You can watch full video of this episode HERE! Follow Corinne Fisher on Instagram & Twitter Watch Corinne Fisher's special for free here! Get tickets to see Corinne Fisher in a city near you here Follow Gianmarco Soresi on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, & YouTube Subscribe to Gianmarco Soresi's email & texting lists Check out Gianmarco Soresi's monthly show in NYC (first Sunday of every month) Get tickets to see Gianmarco Soresi in a city near you Watch Gianmarco Soresi's special "Shelf Life" on Amazon Follow Russell Daniels on Twitter & Instagram E-mail the show at [e-mail] Produced by Paige Asachika & Gianmarco Soresi Video edited by Spencer Sileo Special Thanks Tovah Silbermann Part of the Authentic Podcast Network Original music by Douglas Goodhart Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

um uh welcome to the downside my name is jimarcus arazi i'm here with my co-host russell daniels wait wait no welcome to the downside of my name is jimarcus arazi doing a second intro with the cameras on everything's recording i need a producer welcome uh to this podcast this is a podcast i never do an intro for new people. We talk about the negatives. We debunk the silver linings. We celebrate the complaining, kvetching. And I'm here with my co-host, Russell Daniels. Hi, John Marco.

How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? And we're joined. Yes. You're not doing well. I could tell that you wanted to talk about that first. And I feel like I'm a couple's therapist, first of all.

No, we did have a little bit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the seating. Because I'm in a therapist position, and you're a couple who's not getting along. Uh-huh. And here we are. I would love, listen, I've been doing a little bit of couple's therapy recently. Oh, you have?

I have. I have. Fascinating. I can't go too deep into it. It's still, this is new territory. I admire you for trying to make something work that hard. I've never tried. Absolutely never tried that hard.

I would love to do like one couples counseling with every single one of my friends. Just one. Just like a check-in. Hey, what texting habits are we not feeling good about wow just that yeah but we know basically it could just be about text behavior quickly enough for an like what would we know and i would and i would tell the therapist that was an oversimplification okay um well listen we'll we'll we'll we'll get to this all i i did want to uh uh bring up one thing before we talk.

Now it feels like an intervention. Like I was called here. Comedy Central did that to me while I was on PTSD. Comedy Central. They called me in to yell at me one time. I go, bitch, you haven't hired me for anything ever. What did they bring you in to yell? Because you talk shit about them?

No. Well, I did do that, but that's not why. I'll tell you off the air. Okay, good, good, good. I, well, I did do that, but that's not why we'll get, I'll tell you off the air. Okay, good, good, good. Um, so what I wanted to bring up is I had, I walked an audience member for the first time in a long, long time. Oh, I thought you were gonna say for the first time ever.

I was like, have you even been trying? I know. I know. It was one of those things where like, sometimes I'm like, yeah, good. Patrice O'Neill walked people too. But then in the moment, I feel bad. And this one didn't feel great. So I do a bit.

I call it crowd work therapy. I do crowd work, but I always bring it back to my father. Like somehow, whatever they tell me, I bring it back to my dad, cheating on my mom and things like that. And then at some point, it gets to a bit where I go, hey, what's your name? Okay, so I'm me and you're my dad. And I try to do like a little role play with them. And it ends with whatever they say. I go, that was pretty good,

but my dad wouldn't fucking be here. And then applause, TV deals. Okay. And I, so I'm doing it. It's at LOL. So I'm fucking, you know, I'm like, I'm letting myself go loose. I'm going to let myself take risks.

I'm going to be an artist. Why are you working at LOL? You're passed at the cellar, you know, I'm like, I'm letting myself go loose. I'm going to let myself take risks. I'm going to be an artist. Why are you working at LOL? You're passed at the cellar, you psychopath. Because I can't walk someone at the cellar. I'd be freaking, if I walk someone at the cellar, I'd be freaking the fuck out. Okay, I need to get, because there's two types of walks. There's the, they walk because I'm not funny. And then there's the walked because I offended them.

Walked because I offended them is powerful. You hope so. You hope everyone understands. But it's easy in this business to have a distrust that. Who needs to understand the janitor at LOL? No one's watching you there. They don't care. LOL is fine.

So I go to this guy. It doesn't sound like English is his first language or he's just very shy. And he goes like, I say, can we do role play? I'm me or my dad. And he's like, no, my dad's, my dad's,

my dad's dead. Yeah. Yesterday was Father's Day. We're recording this, by the way, a couple weeks ago. Okay, my dad's dead too.

Sure. So what I said, I said, well, now your dad's ruining my day too. Okay. And he,

and he was there with clearly his, his mother, older mother. Okay. So he gets up and he leaves he was there with clearly his his mother older mother so he gets up and he leaves okay and it's very uh awkward he looked upset yeah and uh and so then he goes and i i think i got the audience back i said some joke about my mom and then i start talking to his mom and i'm like is your son gonna is he gonna hit me when i leave this space and she's like maybe and i go and you're not gonna like stop him she's like i'm on the fence with this one and now i'm doing the whole better english than the son did yes what how did that happen maybe maybe the son was just like shy and awkward and nervous yeah okay and she's like she's kind of enjoying watching me on stage

because all I see in my head is like, he's going to hit me or he's going to get, I'm paranoid, he's going to go get a gun and kill me. He's going to the car to get it. I love that you were at no time during this worried that you hurt his feelings. Yeah. That maybe it was his first and then father.

Don't come to a comedy show. You're worried about, I mean, that's specific crowd work you're doing. But, but I didn't say be your dad. I said, could you be my dad? And that's, you can't be my dad. Okay. Because. Well, you know, comedy audiences love to make it about themselves.

Of course. That's the problem with comedy. But if you're going to like throw your dead dad, then at a comedy show, if you're going to throw, lob that grenade at me, I'm going to kick it back. Yeah, it must be really fresh dead dad because this was my first dead dad father's day. And like you want you do want to weaponize it because it's the one opportunity you have. Of course. And I had a nice childhood. So this is all I have to work with.

Yeah. Yeah. And I wasn't like childhood So this is all I have to work with Yeah And I wasn't like Roasting audience members either It wasn't like I was like roasting you Like well your dad Clearly never taught you How to dress

Like it was about me I can see you felt that Yeah He's been holding that in Let it out What else did you not like About this fucking loser And then eventually

So I'm doing this set And I'm LOL Once a guy like Kind of charged me at LOL And I remember It's not a safe space this fucking loser. And then eventually, so I'm doing this set and I'm, LOL, once a guy like kind of charged me at LOL and I remember. Yeah, it's not a safe space. Like physically.

It's literally insane that you're still doing that there. Like you don't, like how often are you doing spots there? You know, whenever it fits in, five a week.

I stopped doing LOL five years ago because I was actively getting worse at comedy every time I performed there and I assessed the situation. Oh, shit. And I'm like, I am a spot fiend, okay?

I'll still do it like a Japanese restaurant for two people, you know? I don't, I love stage time. LOL was even too bad for me. There are a few places, LOL is one of those places where I can go up with the notebook and go like, I'm going to hold it here. Okay. And like, I'm going to hold it here. Okay. And like, I use it. I use it for, for my purposes. And in exchange, they don't pay me.

I think you like getting mad. I think he just gets you off. You're the second person who's told me this in the last week that like, the things I complain about, it's like that, that's the life I want as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't, I don't. Oh, absolutely. Some people are addicted to their own stress hormones and i think that might be you i don't think that's fair it

definitely there's definitely a part truth to that john marco knowing you for as long as i've known you definitely you seek out these things to get mad about and you're married so i trust you more because you've obviously like got someone to come with you. Yes. And I think you think that you don't, but you really do seek it. You really do. And because I think you like a little bit of drama. Do you like a little bit? You like getting mad. He's creating drama right now with his body language because we're calling him out on this.

You feel it's an opportunity. I think you feel it's an opportunity to find comedic things. And so you're like, oh, how can I get myself all riled up? That's a big problem for comedians. Maybe something funny will come out of that. Okay, so the guy comes back in the room. We're just going to completely ignore

any work we just did. See, you have to get back to your complainant. That's what fuels you. When we saw the podcast, I said, what the fuck was that? How dare you embarrass me? So he comes back in.

I'm scared. Oh, so I was saying, one time someone charged me at LOL. Why are you such a pussy? Why am I such a pussy? I'll answer that one. Because I don't want to get hurt. What do you mean?

You want me to get into a fight with this man? He just lost his father, Corinne. I don't want to get hurt. What do you mean? You want me to get into a fight with this man? I literally assume. He just lost his father, Corinne. I shouldn't beat him up. I cannot believe I haven't been punched in the face yet. Every time I leave my apartment, I fully am prepared to get punched in the face for the things that I've said. Sure.

You're sassy as shit on Twitter. You're asking for it. I am. I'll give you that. I know you are. But I think- You should be prepared to get punched in the face because it's going to happen 100%. It almost happened once.

Well, you got punched in the face, but not in a comedic setting. Oh, I got bopped in the face. I'd call it more of a bop, but he thought I was walking too close to him. He didn't say like, I saw that tweet about LA comedians. You're very tall, so hopefully someone wouldn't be able to reach you in the face. I think some people don't fuck with me because they're like, he's tall. He's going to be a lot. He's going to be a lot of work.

If they knew how quickly I'd crumble, I'd be getting hit left and right and center. Yeah, I agree. So at LOL, this guy charged me once. And all I remember is the bouncer, who's a big motherfucker. He just, while he was like in my face, he brought up the check and was like, could you sign this really quick? And he was making sure

the guy signed his credit card before he beat me up and got kicked out and the police were called. And that stopped the charge? No, no, no. That just like, like he didn't care about me at all.

He was just like getting the signature and then he like walked away. Oh, oh. But did you run away when he was getting the signature? No, no, no. I just, no, no. He was like,

he was like doing it with this hand. Like, what the, fucking call me up there? Steve Buscemi on Meth 1? Like he was getting the signature? No, no, no. He was doing it with this hand. What did you fucking call me up there? Steve Buscemi on Meth? Why don't you go? He was just yelling at me. These people are offended over little things. That's really what got him amped up. Steve Buscemi comment.

But it was searingly accurate. Yeah. He did. Well, you do know how to hurt people. I can tell that again, even from your tweets. I don't even know you that well in real life. I've taken this even from your tweets. I don't even know you that well in real life. I've taken this information from social media.

As someone who has family problems, I will definitely say something fucked up about your family with a degree of removal that some people are like, you cannot say that about my father. Wait, you have current family problems? Yeah, just general distant families. Cut the cord.

Cut the cord. What the fuck are you talking about? I literally, like, I can't. I feel like you unknowingly inspired my, like, when I talk about on stage, like, if you're an adult and you're still messed up from your parents' divorce, the problem is you. That's my whole act. You can't just erase my whole act. And they did get divorced because of you. It was your fault. That's fine.

I'll take that. I'll take that. I'll take that. I'll take all the fault. How old are you? 30 something? 33. Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is all spiraling out of control.

This is all spiraling out of control. I don't blame my parents. I'm just saying there's distance, which is fine. How is this still? You're an adult. What are you doing? Do you not talk to your parents? I talk to my parents. Well, not the dead one. Sure. Well, there is fine. How is this still? You're an adult. What are you doing? Do you not talk to your parents? I talk to my parents. Well, not the dead one.

Sure. Well, there you go. Actually, I actually do still talk to him, but that's another podcast. Maybe was this your brother that I roasted in the LOL? No, I talk to my parents all the time, but I'm saying like if you, so what about their relationship with each other is still affecting you?

That's what I don't get. I think it's more just like the, first of all, my mom and I are on pretty great terms right now. Okay. Because she listens to the podcast. My father, my dad. Very passive aggressive. My dad, there's no way. My dad's never listening to this podcast. I think what's challenging, what makes the conflict is that you love this person.

I have a fealty. I have a feeling of like if they have surgery, I think what's challenging, what makes the conflict is that you love this person. I have a fealty. I have a feeling of like if they have surgery, I will go down. But there's like there's a distance. It's just I think the conflict is like love and hate. Okay. And that's all. I don't like I don't go around. I complained about my dad on stage comedically.

But I don't go around like blaming my dad for my, my like day to day problems. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's fair.

Okay. That's fair. I blame my girlfriend. Um, so do you think that the structure of your, your personal relationship is like fucked up because of your parents relationship though? No,

I, I, I don't even, I don't even try to parse uh uh nature versus nurture i just go whatever it is it's what i am right now so i got to deal with what's cards i have okay do you find that as a professional podcaster you end up interviewing the interviewer uh i like i like i like to do it honestly i'm just like just so interested in relationship dynamics that I need. And it's more interesting than hearing myself talk.

You know, I just hate being on podcasts. So I find answering the questions so fucking boring. So I think I would just rather talk to you. I thought about that. I thought about how can we talk about things that are not the things you've talked about to death. Oh, I'm so sick of it. I thought I'd talk about, I don't know if you've talked a lot about your dad's shop that you took over. I have recently, but I like

talking about that. Can we? This is just a free ad now. That's great. Sure. Well, let me just say, yeah. Oh, did you want to hit the intro music? We're talking to Manscaped, I think, but they don't seem to be getting back to the emails now. So now we're doing an ad about an ad that we possibly

will get? This is the downside. Wow. We're doing an ad about an ad that we possibly will get. This is the Downside Show. Two, three. Downside. Downside. You're listening to The Downside. The Downside. With Gianmarco Ceresi.

So. It was worth coming so I could figure out how to correctly pronounce your name. You know, that's something I struggle with. Yes. I think we talked about it on this podcast. You were on Bert Kreischer's podcast. I literally say something nice about him on Bert Kreischer's podcast,

and he fucking has to mention that I said his name wrong. I go, yeah, I said your name at all, bitch. Well, whoever's name is Gianmarco Scorsese is headlining around the country. I mean, she's giving a shout out on a big thing, you know? I mean, people would know. I don't think I complained. I don't think I complained. I don't think I said thank you.

What did you do? Did you reach out? He complained in writing on Instagram. In a DM or publicly? Oh, you did like a story? Oh, I did like a tweet that said like. He was like, thanks for the shout out. She, you know, almost got my name right.

Oh, just shut up. Fun stuff, fun stuff. I've had my name spelled wrong on a marquee. Shut up. You sure know how to win. It's like, I can see it.

Burt Kreischer got on the phone with his agent like, give me Gianmarco Scorsese to open for me right now. And they're like, he doesn't exist. Is there any other Gianmarco comedian? Here I am at LOL Comedy Club.

Like I wish Burt would reach out. Everyone knows it's you. And also it's like, with that, your name is so, so many vowsows are you even trying to succeed in the business well you know who's to blame for that corinne my father so um so this this card shop it's called a centered it's called uh it's called no it's called perfectly centered perfectly it's a sports card reference so like when they i don't know if you're into like card collecting, but like you to have

a, a graded a 10, it needs to be perfectly centered when they print it out. In the frame or in the card itself? Baseball cards aren't framed. Interesting. But why would a card not be centered? Okay. So I have you, you know what a baseball card, well, because on the print, when it's getting, gets printed out, you know, just how anything when it's printed, to have it perfectly centered is hard.

Sure. So that's why it wouldn't be centered because just like when it comes out of the machine. And your dad started this store when? 1989. Was it – is there money in this business? It's one of these niche things. There's a lot of money in this business. But it depends what time.

So like when he started it, it was big. And then there was definitely, you know, a lull at points. And then during COVID, it shot up and people became literal millionaires from card collecting. I mean, it's very similar to NFTs, except it's physical. I mean, it's just, it's the volatile marketplace of, like, ultimately these are pieces of cardboard, paper. Yeah. And you just hope that it a lot easier damaged you know it gets damaged a lot easier than an nft too obviously and we one of those

things where there's just so few businesses that do that that it's that's why it's oh no no that's not why because there's a ton of it it's just mostly moved to online so yes the fact that i own a brick and mortar sports card store is rare because there's so much overhead in a brick and mortar. But I'm doing it, you know, partly for like family and passion reasons. So yes, like monetarily, it would be smarter just to sell online. But also some of the direct accounts that we have with like tops and stuff, you need to have a brick and mortar because they know that people have just opened on like opened their own version of eBay from their home. that people have just opened on, like opened their own version of eBay from their home.

But the reason it skyrocketed was because during COVID, everyone was home and every guy was sick of hanging out with his wife and kids and went up to the attic and got his old box of baseball cards and people got involved in the hobby again. So that's why it skyrocketed. Is there a reason that baseball over basketball, over other sports, like why is baseball the dominant card i think it's i would guess i i should know this history but it's i'm guessing that's just like the first sport that

made it but like when you when i say baseball cards i i really mean hockey basketball sure but baseball is one i always hear about maybe it's because people who love baseball are the kind of people who love cards like it just feels like those two interests like something on the spectrum something people who love baseball of numbers they love to it's it's i think i just think people like love cards like it just feels like those two interests like something on the spectrum something on people who love baseball of numbers they love to it's it's i think i just think people like baseball like would also be in the cards yeah i think well i think you also just hang out with a lot of white people um sure this definitely feels like a white hobby for sure well baseball is just like a whiter sport i feel like out of the. Sure, it's a great national pastime.

But when people say baseball cards, a lot of times they are referring to all sports cards. And right now, the ones that are the most valuable are football and basketball cards. Interesting. Yeah. And then even things like soccer and stuff have come into play. And when your dad opened it, was that his main income?

Like this was his main job like this was his yeah main job that it's his only job yeah that's i mean baseball card store fed me clothed me sent me to college my mom wasn't even working until i was in like high school she was working when i was a little kid she was a real estate agent but like that sounds a lot fancier than it was it was not like a hot it wasn't like a reality tv show you know It was like little colonial houses around New Jersey. And then she didn't work for a long time while she raised my brother and I. And then she went back, got her master's, and is a teacher now. But there was a long gap when it was only my dad providing money for the family.

Were you into it as a kid? Were you into cards? I was into the fact that my dad had a store. It also sells horror and sci-fi memorabilia and posters and that's what i'm into i'm really really into horror i love horror really can you i struggle with horror i find i'm what don't you struggle with how is horror gonna trigger this man man? Life is a horror movie. I've had people with traumatic childhood say that to me before. They don't like horror films because they had such a hard life.

And I feel that. What was your, like, you liked horror movies as a kid. Like, what was your favorites? Gosh, I mean. Like, what got you into it? So, to me, just my dad's love of it got me into it. And there was this convention called that still exists called chiller and it happens in new jersey two times a year uh halloween weekend and then

usually sometime in april and i was just i think there's a lot of there's a lot of creativity so it has like you have the creativity and dress at these conventions that you would experience at like a gay club or something where people just feel really free to express themselves i always gravitate towards that. And then there is a lot of sexuality in horror. Like you would go and these scream queens would be walking around with their breasts out. And I just love, you don't see that anywhere else.

So what's a scream queen? Like a Jamie Lee Curtis or a Neve Campbell now. Yeah, famous woman. But then there's like lower level ones, like kind of like for B horror movies. And they are literally just known for being hot and dying in horror films dramatically and you got to have pipes and you usually have a big rack i actually was in um a fangoria scream queen contest where i had a scream on air and one

of the judges was d snyder from twisted sister and uh he did comment that usually scream queens have bigger chests which felt inappropriate but he's not wrong. For the scream competition. How old were you? I was in my 20s. Oh okay. I thought you were like a kid and I was like that's not. I said he didn't come in yet. But

are you good at screams? I'm so good. I told everyone in the studio to take their headphones off, and they were like, this girl. I'll think she's like, and then everyone, I scream so loud, everyone had to, by knee-jerk reaction, take their headphones off. No, I can't do it now. Why?

Because someone's going to call the cops. The police will come. That would make a great episode. Really? Yeah. You really think someone will call the cops? Listen, I yell all the time. I yell, fuck!

I can hear when people knock on the door. Fuck and screaming are two different things. Yeah. Do you think you could do a good scream? No. Not no. No. I also haven't attempted it in a long time.

So I can feel there. I might have a little damage from just talking nonstop, podcasting and Santa. I am sure. I think about more and more because I can be loud on stage. You? When the jokes are not quite there. I feel like you probably do it vocally healthy, though. Like you went to musical theater school.

Maybe, but you're like, me, me, me, me. I went to college from musical theater, but believe you me, they all do a little warmup before a headlining show, but I could see myself getting nodes someday and being like, God damn it. I can't believe I got nodes from talking. I know.

I do need to learn how to like speak from lower. And I want to sing so badly because I did musical theater too, but I was always like the comedic relief. So I was like the Jean Stapleton role in Damn Yankees. Or I was the Wicked Witch of the West in Wizard of Oz. But it can be very frustrating, I think especially as a comedian now, because there was a long time where if I talked to you, I would talk in an elevated way. Oh, I remember that.

I met you, you did that. So my ex texted me, what kind of KY do we use? And it's so fake. It's painfully fake. To do it later in life, I think, is harder because you're like, let me just fucking talk. Yeah, but I think is harder. Cause you're like, let me just fucking talk. Yeah. But I think that like part of like the way you speak is what makes you unique as a standup. Yes. But I think like one of the, you're being an asshole

on stage and the voice just lends itself to the character, which we're finding out is not a character. One of the things like, I think when actors like get into standup, that one of the ways that we're like very inauthentic for a while and maybe never escape it is that we were trained to like have this put on something where if someone becomes a comic and they have no training they're you know they barely barely talking but it's them yeah they don't even have the the capacity to put on anything else sure and that can make them more authentic in the beginning and then they can learn how to fucking yeah breathe i know people always want me to like correct my voice. Cause I have this New

Jersey accent and I'm like, absolutely not. Like this is, I was like, do you guys not know the story of Piper Parabo? Uh, or was it not Piper? No. Who was it? The, uh, the, the lead in Coyote Ugly. Maybe it was her. I can't remember. What's the story? Uh, that she had lost her New Jersey accent. And then her first big break was getting that rolling Coyote story uh that she had lost her New Jersey accent and then her first big break was getting that rolling coyote ugly and she had to relearn it I go I don't want that to happen to me so yeah they do safe they do that in acting school they try to make people not have any sort of accent like because it's the only thing the voice teacher is going to get to accomplish in the next four years is get you to like honestly you're ours for real it's the only

tangible thing because but it's so it's such a joke especially in how the entertainment business is now because being your real self your most damaged unpolished self is what people love they are like fucking sitting at home jerking off to it yeah yeah um okay so you're into this so okay here's just my sister's into like horror stuff i don't know do you consider horror that's this whole genre like is scream queens considered like lower like trashy horror i wouldn't i mean they're they're respected in the industry it's just like you know kind of like what he was saying like yes like jamie lee curtis is i would is a scream queen but it's like jamie lee

curtis because one of the things she does i would say is a scream queen, but it's like Jamie Lee Curtis. One of the things she does, I would say, is a scream queen. Whereas scream queen is the title to other people whose names we don't know. If that makes sense. Sure, sure. So, but do you have, are you drawn to a certain kind of horror? Like, are you drawn to like slasher? Are you drawn to like more like ghost contemporary, like A24, like hereditary. A24 is doing some incredible work right now.

I honestly like them all because sometimes, you know. Jamie Lee Curtis, you saw Everything Everywhere All at Once? I didn't see that because I went to see. Oh, it's so good. I had to choose between two A24 and I went to see Men instead because it's more my vibe. Also, Everything Everywhere All at Once is, I think, isn't it more like a little bit psychological thriller? It's not pure horror. Oh, no, it's definitely not horror.

Yeah. But Jamie Lee Curtis is in it. Okay, yeah. And she's incredible. I've heard nothing but good stuff. I have to go and walk over and see that now that we have a movie theater by us. I love going to the movies alone.

Tuesday, $7 films. Did you know that? No, I didn't. Tuesday night. Oh, my God. The lady told me after I bought it. And half price popcorn and stuff on Tuesdays. All you have to do is download the app. I'm just giving ads for Regal now. Please, Regal, we're available. That's a little sample. We are available.

Corinne won't be doing it all the time, but... Because my sister would go to sleep watching horror, and it's more just like horror to me. Sometimes I'm just like, does this not terrify you? Does this not get your adrenaline pumping? And if it doesn't, then what is it that you feel from the moment

where they try to scare you? I feel it in the moment, but it doesn't haunt me in my sleep like that's the to me that's the the point of like why women love true crime because true crime really scares me and i really do have trouble sleeping because that's about a real woman who was murdered in her home but a a narrative film that's a horror no that doesn't bother me at all that's relaxing that's nice it's taking me away from the horrors of real life why do why is true crime why do you think what's your theory do you have a theory of why women like true crime uh i mean a lot of because i mean so often

for me i like it because like men really do a lot of bad things to women uh in real life so it's nice to see how to handle it but i don't think it's prep i love prep like i read all those books about like how to get out of quicksand how to fight an alligator but i don't remember off the top of your head how do you get out of quicksand oh you're fucked pretty much no you have to what kind of book is this does each page is you're fucked you have to well you're not i think you're not supposed to fight against it because i believe that makes the quicksand go further and then you're i think you have to reach to fight against it because I believe that makes the quicksand go further. And then I think you have to reach for something that's solid in the outside space.

But again, I didn't see a lot of this. I think John Mulaney had a bit though. He said like, growing up I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem in my life. And it is true. That was a fear. It was in a lot of cartoons.

What was the movie? Yeah, there was some movie where that's how they died. Well, it's in that, the never ending story of the horse. Remember? Oh, is it? And he's trying to pull it out. Oh, it's how they died. Well, it's in that the never ending story of the horse. Remember that horse? And he's trying to pull it out. Oh, it's a horrifying thing.

Quicksand is terrifying. I also know this really terrible story my friend in Kansas told me about a grain mill and someone was like reaching over the grain mill that she knew to fix it

and then he got suffocated in it because it basically grains act like quicksand and not having, you know, having grown up in New Jersey that was like a new, I was like, oh new fear unlocked yeah you know i heard this one time i was like eight and i was this friend's mom was like from arkansas and she told me a story about like a barn that she was in when she was a child and the floor gave away and underneath the barn

they didn't know it was quicksand no it was like a thing of water and her friend fell into it and water moccasins like bit her and she like swelled up and they couldn't get to her and they just watched her friend slowly

like puff up and like and she told me that story that I for years was terrified of falling through a floor and into like water no one knew it was there.

Wait, water moccasins are what exactly? They're like snakes that can bite you and they're in water. They just swell up and they cause you to like, like you have like an allergic reaction. But if you get bit by enough of them, like it will kill you. Oh my God. And so she just watched her friend and she told me this story. And for years I would be like, am I I gonna fall through a thing that no one even knew there was water there

and just like anyways you make it sound like why bring that but like something about you make it sound like the Willy Wonka girl like she just blew it

like bigger and bigger I mean she told me this story I thought I probably don't go I think about it once a month at least I'm gonna think about it once a month now

it's crazy watching someone die when there's nothing in a way like that and there's nothing that you can do about it they a month now. Yeah, it's crazy. Watching someone die in a way like that and there's nothing that you can do about it. They couldn't reach her. They're kids. They're trying to get some milk. We talked about it.

I think we talked about it on a Patreon episode. What's the worst thing I ever saw was the escalator thing I told you about. Oh, you watched one of those videos. It was just like one of those, I don't know if you know LiveLeak, the website. It's kind of like, it's where people put like, there's some famous war criminal guy

or he got convicted guilty and in the courtroom he took a gun out of a thing and shot himself in the head just right there in the courtroom. Oh, I've seen like the guy like poison himself. Yes, there's a guy that poisoned himself at like the EU War Criminal Council. Yes, yes, yes. I saw that.

You know, it's fascinating to see, but it fucks you up. And this was a... You want it? Now that I know the water moccasin story, my day's already ruined. There's a mother and there's her kid and they're going up the escalator. Don't get attached. And they're going up the escalator and suddenly the escalator,

maybe it's an earthquake or something, starts breaking into itself and the mother kind of throws the kid off the escalator as the escalator just collapses and takes her into the gears was saved whoa and she just like kind of vanishes into the the i imagine escalator was powerful enough to take you in like that at least whatever was happening in this video but she was she was gone and that's a heroic story though yeah it is and you tell me that story and i anytime i walk on an escalator that's not moving i think i think of that it's because i was like what if it starts up what if it you know like that thing and you have no kid to throw to safety so it'll just be a sad story no no inspiration with yours i hate when

i accidentally or like you don't know something's going to be like a traumatic thing to watch like but like you click on it and then the new york post does that sometimes they'll be like here's this person right before they die or you know like well that's what news has become they're like hey we found this fucked up video here's us describing it now watch it red one we're coming at you is the movie event of the holiday season santa claus has been kidnapped. You're going to help us find him. You can't trust this guy. He's on the list. Is he a naughty lister? Naughty lister?

Dwayne Johnson. We got snowmen! Chris Evans. I might just go back to the car. Let's save Christmas. I'm not going to say that. Say it. All right.

Let's save Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters November 15th. save Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters November 15th. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third

cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Uh, nope. You're on your own there. Could have skipped it. Should have skipped it.

Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to your door on Skip. Anyways. So, you're running this store now. How much do you operate in the day-to-day? Like, are you really? Yeah, I just did fucking quarterly taxes yesterday. I'm on top of it. I do a lot of work for that store.

You're physically in the store? I'm physically in the store once a week. I have a GM, John Campanelli, another comedian. It's fully comedian run. Oh. And what made you, did you take over when your father passed away? Was it? No, when he was sick and we realized that he wasn't going to be able to go back to work Um, uh, and what made you, did you take over when your father passed away? Was it?

No, when he was, when he was sick and we realized that he wasn't going to be able to go back to work is when I made the decision to do it because it was, the store was just sitting there and we had to figure out what to do. It was not something I planned. It was not something that I had ever talked about with him, but I just was like, you know, we were still kind of during COVID. I was like, I have the time, I have the flexibility. I have the income. Um, and then I was able to get someone knowledgeable enough who I trusted to do

it with me, which was the only missing link. And I said, all right, let's handle it. Cause someone was going to have to clean out the store one way or another. And I didn't want my mother to have to do that. So I was like,

well, if I'm cleaning it out, we have all this stuff. We have all this inventory. The business is doing great right now as far as like the hobby in general. So let's try it. I don't know. I always wanted to own a store anyway.

I envisioned it as more of like a tea shop. But, you know, this is a store. And does it feel your father passed away during the pandemic? I mean, it had nothing to do with the pandemic but like I mean so yeah it was still like COVID was still you know happening I mean it's kind of still happening I guess. Were you able to like see him like my grandfather

or step grandfather technically passed away and like luckily it was far enough that my dad was able to you know still rough go to the hospital put on gloves put on the mask and see them. I know there was just that period where like, you couldn't see. It was when he first, when he first was admitted into the hospital, it was very deep in COVID. And so it was like only one visit, like

one person at a time, you know, and it was like, so there was all kinds of scheduling stuff. Um, and then he was in different facilities, like and stuff and physical rehab and I couldn't visit him there because you had to go through like a 14-day period and he would always get too sick and have to be released even in that like quarantine period and then when he finally went into hospice it was the rules because you know everyone's dying anyway I suppose so the rules were a little bit more flexible and that's why it was better to have him there but i did have to like suit up in full ppe like head to toe ppe yeah that was a just a horror it's just with the pandemic everyone's figuring everything out and it's like well for these final moments you want

to have people just a touch a hand yeah i mean i would say like it did affect it but it wasn't other people certainly have much worse horror stories involving covid and they're and they're seeing their loved ones than i do so yeah i think it was weird because my grandfather it was just weird when coven when people died during covid there were two people that died during covid that i like knew and it was just because i didn't see them leading up to it right it's kind of a surreal thing where I don't even feel like it ever fully was like they died. It was just like, well, I didn't even see them for a year. Yeah.

Now they're not even going to see them again. And it all felt ethereal. Yeah. It all felt ethereal. You'll see them, buddy. Okay. So, story's doing well. I'm more of a pokemon card guy we have pokemon

do you i have all these cards at home and i'm there's always a thought where i'm like i could sell them someday shit goes rough hard to know i want to give them just to someone do people ever do card dumps and just like hey take them all make whatever money you want people do do that a lot actually especially it's a rich town people use it like the like it's the goodwill um but you can make money if especially if it's their first edition pokemon some of them yeah uh you should just sell them yourself on ebay that's a lot that's a lot of work i want to pay someone i would pay someone to take 50 of whatever and if they find a five thousand dollar card sure okay good i'll take take'll take that money. I was a big Pokemon card collector. I had a friend in middle school who was very sad.

He actually died recently. He had cancer. Oh. But he would lie. He'd say that he had these rare Pokemon cards from Japan. Yeah, let's tarnish his name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said he had these rare Pokemon cards, and we'd always be like, oh my God, can you bring

them? And he's like, no, no, dude, my dad won't let me bring that one. And they'd be Pokemon we'd never even heard of. Wow. It's only in Japan. How did you find out he was lying? They never showed up.

Eventually you're like, you can go online and be like, this Pokemon does not exist. Did you call him out? Like, did you? No, like, you know when someone lies so big, you're like, we can't confront this person's reality because it's beyond them lying. It's more like your brain.

You should you need to help. Yeah. So that's. So you're saying you're it's good that he died. It was it was very rough. It was like I remember for you later. Yeah. Rough for me later. It was very rough. It was rough for you. Later in high school,

he would talk about how he got into Harvard or all the Ivy Leagues. So he was just a liar all the time. Yeah, but we're talking lying. No, no, we know. He's pathological. Pathological. Edgar Allan Poe supposedly was a pathological liar.

What did he do in life like later on Or you don't know because he was just like lying on Facebook About what he did Yeah whoever knows I'm sure he found something but there was just like It was like one of those things where you're younger And you're like especially when you're in 5th grade You're like something's wrong here

I don't know what it is Did you ever find out the root of the line because like for me I had a friend who did that And it was like I was convinced it was because she was like overweight and uncomfortable about it and so she got attention like you know she didn't get attention ever for being like a pretty girl even though she honestly was a very pretty girl she would get attention for the the fantastical lies that she would tell i had to dissect that as a child i had a very similar friend who, same thing, would always have a boyfriend in a different school

and he'd be like you'd be like you'd see the picture and you'd be like George Glass. What was the picture like? But like everyone was trying to be like oh cool. It feels so cruel to be like. Because you know they need that lie so badly. Yeah they need it

and so you don't want to be an asshole but but you're like, it's that thing where you're like. Am I enabling? No one's doing great here. Right. Like in middle school. Right, right, right. Yeah, middle school's early to be like, I need to have a hot gal. But it was that same thing where it felt like.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever tell a lie to your friend? I'm trying to think if I ever like really lied. I'm sure. Yes, I've lied before, but not like that. What kind of question is that? But like lied like you.

I'm just trying to think if I've ever like lied about like a full on accomplishment. I lied one time. I quit a job and I lied about having another job because I was having such a hard time quitting the job. Like I felt like I tried quitting and they were like, they keep tricking me. Like I was just a weak person and I was like, I tried quitting and they were like they keep tricking me like I was just a weak person and I was like couldn't say no so I finally had to be like

I got another job and I did not have another job I just knew I couldn't do this job anymore and so I lied about getting like booking an acting job and it was a complete lie mine was but then they kept going to hang out

like and so then I had to be like no I'm gone for the summer I'm on set I'm acting you know like yeah yeah yeah my biggest lie I said

my grandma who had already died to get out of a live performance thing, pre-standup, I said that my grandma just died and the funeral's the day of the thing. I think if the person's already died, you can like reuse the death once or twice. I think that's fair.

I love they got caught. They said, really? You had a third grandma? Yeah. Okay. So I was, you know, I'm because you you did this podcast for so long with with christina hutchinson this this guys be fucked yeah guys be fucked um how because russell and i were friends we started this uh you know i started it yeah i agree okay

uh sure that's we can write our separate books and uh people can judge how have you maintained what advice would you have or what are the downsides since this is a downside as opposed to advice like that must have been do you have any struggle points with your friendship well i mean yes but the thing is i met christina. So yes, we are friends, but I, we met when I was working at a talent management company called Liebman entertainment, shout out.

And she came to intern cause she's a couple of years younger than me. She came to intern for us. So the way I met her was under, uh, was professional. And I think that sets a different tone than meeting as friends and deciding to embark on a business together because we were always working together.

And we maintained a friendship over the years and then later on reconnected to do Guys Be Fucked. But we had already reconnected to do stand up. I mean, yeah, it's like any kind of relationship. It's certainly the relationship I've put the most work into. And you were talking about texting etiquette before. I actually

think that really is a big thing. One of the rules that we have is text is for friendship stuff, email is for work stuff because that can get really draining. But what if one of the persons never got back to emails? What if one person treated emails like Facebook messages?

I'm good about it now I understand that but I mean there's always going to be someone who's a little bit more obsessed with work than the other one like that's true

in any duo of all time and there's someone was someone was just talking about this where in any partnership someone will always feel

like they're doing more work and the other person isn't giving enough but I mean so so it's kind of like you just have to, for me, it's like I just am an overachiever. I'm the person who, if we're doing a group project in class, I'm always going to get stuck doing more work. But instead of being mad about other people about that, and listen, I'm still mad at other people a lot.

and listen, I'm still mad at other people a lot. I have to look at my own behavior and think like, well, why am I not like kind of demanding help? Or why am I the one always doing a lot of work? Like I also am doing that to myself. So I think that's like, as I grow up, it's just, I just accept people more for who they are, you know, but this is in all work relationships. I'm just a workaholic.

And that's really the problem that needs to be solved not other people's things yeah i think it can be challenging we're in a sketch team and i have i have not been fully there i've been on the road kind of and things have shifted but i think it's very challenging with like a sketch team we're dealing with like five different kinds of people with different work modes and different goals and yes it's just challenging and the one thing the one thing about couples counseling i guess i felt this way when i started therapy just a degree of like oh this is all relationships could use a check-in sure with someone who's like trying to like make sure you guys talk out exactly what you need like it's useful it's very useful

i'm not saying everyone has to all the time but like sometimes i'm like oh yeah i bet i have a couple friendships that like they have some things with me and i have some things with them that if someone was like well to explain this let's talk it would help a lot yes but also i have found a lot of times in conversations like that it's just talking and the behaviors don't actually change and then and then it's then because you've already talked about actually change and then and then it's it then because you've already talked about it it brings you to a point where like am i just going to be an asshole and keep accepting the same kind of behavior well at least then you can say like

end the friendship you can i think sometimes you can reach a point like hey this is what i'm willing to do not when not if it is like your pays your all your bills sure yeah that's where yeah i know russell's dependent on this podcast to pay the bills once we get yeah it's it's hard because i'm listen i'm a lot better communicator than i was when i started guys we fucked um in part thanks to that podcast in part thanks to christina she's um very you know good at talking um but also i think some of like my initial inclination to not be a talker and be more of a doer was also like not incorrect there was nothing wrong with the way i was doing things and like the way i am you just have to find out how to apply it to your life better and you you when you do this podcast you talk so personally about your own life yeah and i'm

well okay well because i'm on that same page i'm on that same page and talk about the distance from When you do this podcast, you talk so personally about your own life. Yeah, that was a mistake. Well, okay. Because I'm on that same page. I'm on that same page. And talk about the distance from my family or whatever it is allowed me to start stand-up and comedy. Luckily, I have never had a bit of pushback from any family members being like, you can't share that. I've never had that in my life. Yeah. Now I've got a girlfriend.

And someone who's part of the industry so like it's i i feel i feel like i have to be more cognizant in a way that makes me uncomfortable there was like a part of me and it's a very obnoxious artist response of like i cannot be i cannot be stifled at all. Even though I'm able to step back and be like, oh, yeah, it's crazy to be like, hey, if we talked about it, it could be on the pod. Right. Have you had any moments where you said, fuck, I should not have talked about that? Or you're like, well, that's the choice I made. The only times, okay, so I have been very careful of that the whole time I'm a really private person so it's kind of crazy that I'm in this business to begin with it's crazy that

what the guys we fucked is what blew up for me I think it's people could smell that I that I didn't want to share yeah yeah and so I I made a rule and I've pretty much always stuck to it that I only talk about relationships after they're done. So I'm not really doing a real time analysis of relationships that I'm in. And there was I had a nice four year span where I was single on the show the first four years of the podcast I was single so that really worked in my favor. Because yes I was talking about people I was just fucking or casually dating. But as soon as they went into boyfriend status then you would hear a lot less about them. of the relationship because then if you're just if you're continually regurgitating things that happen within the relationship it makes the other person think like are you in this because you love me or are you in it for the fodder sure sure i'm just saying things that his girlfriend said i know your girlfriend she's an intelligent woman i love that you guys oh man she nothing gets nothing gets past her yeah i love her um i i just yeah i i think she's great

um did you do did you do stand-up with her no no how do i know her initially she like booked some festivals way back she i mean she worked she's a manager she worked at gersh for a little i don't know how i i don't remember the very first i mean i know her from the industry but it wasn't from doing stand-up it was it was from her doing um, I believe. I don't know. I have this, and again, I understand it's obnoxious. The Howard Stern movie, Private Parts, something that they made a scene out of, which I guess happened in real life,

was his wife had a miscarriage. And he was on the radio that day talking about how small, what the base, all these things. And his wife was like, are you fucking, really? Yeah. And,

and I see both sides. I also see this idea of like, You see both sides. I see like liking to talk. I like see, I see like liking to like, Pick another topic. Talk about your, your life.

Talking about your life. To me. But you're a book writer, maybe you have some years distance. Again, it feels like there's part of you that is looking for stuff to happen in your life that then you can use. No, stuff happens. My dad had a heart surgery.

It's visceral in my mind. Being there was visceral in my mind. It occupies my artistic thoughts. When I think comedically, I think about that. And I create like a simulacrum. I'm not, you know, I say my daddy had heart surgery. It wasn't successful. He's still alive. I don't actually want my dad to die. This simulacrum. I'm not, you know, I say my daddy had heart surgery. It wasn't successful. He's still alive.

I don't actually want my dad to die. This is the comedic thing I'm doing. Sure, but there's like. This is my character, kid who wants his dad to die. There's a degree. Sure, I could be like, well, when this relationship's over, I got a fresh new hour that's been cooking for a couple years. Or like, I mean. You sick fuck. But that's over. I got a fresh new hour that's been cooking for a couple years. Or like, I mean.

You sick fuck. But that's just what I am. I'm just, I'm the kind of, and I think, I mean, podcasters, podcasting, like part of it is like I want to talk about my life. There's some urge. I know. We're just two different types of people. Honestly, it's just like you, this is going to sound like an insult. It's not.

I promise you. But it's just like there's going to be people in this business who put being successful and like famous over everything. And I think you have that. And honestly, I think it will serve you better and you will end up being more successful. where I say I do think I want to make, when it comes to comedy or stand-up, I think that's more, that's what drives the desire to talk about a thing. Like, I don't think I'm talking about my dad's heart surgery because I'm like, oh, well, this will be a good hook

for my press person. I think I talk about it because I'm like, I'm feeling this right now. I want to talk about it. You're talking about it because you don't have a therapist that's what that sounds like no no i do have a therapist i'm saying i want to talk about it because i'm like i'm like oh you know what i want to talk about when i go on stage every night what's on my mind what am i like turning what is the thing i want to like turn into a joke because i felt it so deeply and i like

sharing it i hear you and i agree with you but also like sometimes i think things, you need to handle things personally before you handle them publicly. And if you always have to handle them publicly first, that's like a sign of that something is unhealthy in your life. And also additionally, a big part of the responsibility of being in the public eye is taking care of and protecting the people in our life who aren't in the public eye and never asked to me. I have literal sit down conversations with like people that I date who aren't in the public eye before we start dating. Like how's that conversation go? Like a company meeting about like how I'm going to refer to you on the show. Am I giving your full name? And I tell them the things that come with that. And even with those conversations, people are always stunned and think

that I was being overdramatic when in reality, I think the feedback is that I have been underdramatic in that talk, if anything. Really? I said, people are going to look you up. I mean, if you search me right now, it says Corinne Fisher dad obituary because so many people searched my father's obituary because when I finally talked about it on the show. And I was quiet on the show during his entire sickness, I didn't mention it at all.

I just said, I just said, if I don't seem like my normal self, I'm like going through something very serious right now. Um, so I mean, that's what it's, you know, do I use their full name? I go, uh, something else you're going to have to deal with is there's going to be women who say that they're fans of mine but actively try to have sex with you. Please don't do that. That's hurtful to me. You can tell me if they do because you're not the first one that they've done that to. I mean, there's a lot of things that they need to know. And they're going to also kind of look through old things that you said and if they don't like you we'll try to like fuck over you and your career i mean it sounds even you know i don't have to deal with this level

of of fans doing stuff yeah but have you ever said any you ever say anything on one of your shows in all the years you've been doing it that you went that the person said either that you said you know what i shouldn't share that one or that someone was like, what the fuck, dude? Not really. I've been super, super careful about that. But I really, I've definitely gone on rants where I listen, I have to ask the producer to listen back to it before it airs. And I got to say, I've like really pleasantly surprised myself that I always, that I have pretty much always said like what I want the way I wanted to say it I also like I don't know yeah I'm just really careful about what I say with other people and I always have

been because I know the damage that it can do um part of it is probably because my co-host did some of you know has said things that she didn't want you know to say and she's open about that in her relationship but again like it was, I had training ground for four years where I learned how to do the show and I didn't, I couldn't hurt anyone's feelings that I was dating because I wasn't dating anyone, you know? So that's also different. And I have a good relationship with my parents.

So nothing I was going to say about them was going to be offensive because I don't have anything offensive to say about them, like truly. And I didn't realize how unique that is, Jesus you know loud and clear I hear everyone you all had a bad childhood I'm sorry I'm sorry I mean I was surprised well I think I'm lucky in that my mom the only time my mom my mom got mad at me once for a joke because I used her maiden name and like yeah my mom gave me explicit you know instructions about that too but like still working I was shocked I did a tweet where my mom she said she went on a date with someone. I said, how'd it go?

She said, we're physically compatible. And I said, let's just say fine. And like, I did have a moment. That was one of the few times where my mom had like told me that the day before. Yeah. And I,

I didn't think, you never think, I never, I mean, the ones, the tweets I think will go viral never do. But like that one, like all of a sudden

it was everywhere. And then, and then it was on like Instagram was like, she's see this and i thought she'd be upset and she was like couldn't have given right she thought it was so funny yeah and so i was like i'm lucky in that yeah sense my stepfather i'm shocked i just don't think he puts it i think he thinks he sees it as like oh this is a fake version of me that you're talking about well i mean that's funny and i am to a certain degree i do say to a certain degree like the twists are for comedic effect it's not just me saying the thing yeah i mean you have to just know the people in your life and know how they're going to receive things i also grew up in a house where we used humor a lot sure so it's not like my mom knows I'm gonna make fun of things she said like you

know she'll say something dumb and then and my mom's smart so she doesn't say the dumb things a lot but when she does she knows I'm gonna tweet it yeah she knows and if I'm ever on the fence about something like I asked the person like in my in my special I I said my therapist's first name and then I was like oh i should check with her i ended up bleeping it out because i thought it was funnier like i kind of made the executive decision kind of just in a same thing because i know i i think i was like oh i don't even think my therapist can make an educated enough decision about this for her own protection because she is not in the public eye so i ended up bleeping it out yeah yeah um but i think yeah's just, it's just a lot of like knowing, and I've checked in with

people's feelings way more being in the public eye than I ever did in real life before. Sure. And it's not that I didn't care about other people's feelings. I just, I think I didn't realize that the, that a lot of people are a little more sensitive to other things people say about them. Cause that's not really something that affects me a ton. Sure. Well, let's go on to our next segment.

This has got to stop. This has got to stop. This has got to stop. Do you have a thing that's got to stop? Oh, yes, I did. I had to prepare this on the email. Wait, there's two things. There's a blessing later.

Oh, okay. So the thing that's got to stop. I was torn between two things. I'll say. You can do the both. Yeah, but I forgot the other one. Well, thank you. Then the choice has been made.

What the fuck was it? But the thing that's got to stop for me is good looking people getting into comedy. I'm sick of it. Okay. Are we talking like models? okay yeah i should be the hottest woman in comedy and i was for a second you know i should be the cindy crawford of no one should be hotter than me because if you're hotter than me what the fuck why what has gone wrong in your life that you need these jokes because it does exponentially to change that every comedy show now has like a full photo shoot before and after.

Oh, God. And I think it's a direct correlation to that. I think like you can't. Comedy got sceney. You see this stand, just hot people going, like they're going to Studio 54. Yeah. And I think, you know, obviously I love all the photographers. I'm glad that there's so much work.

But there is a thing where it is. I'm worried the photographer is going to be like, Russell wants us to not work anymore. I do love them all. But I think the thing is like, there is a thing where I still is like, you know, it's every show.

And it's like, you know, you're like, you have to bring extra clothes to change into after. Like it's a thing. And I think that that's connected to that. It's like this kind of like, and if you don't do it,

it doesn't impact things. I also think that social media has encouraged it because good looking people will get a certain amount of likes and retweets just because people, I don't understand

the connection like people make where they want to laugh. I think they're like, they don't know if they want to laugh or be turned on slightly, but they're in, they like, they share and they like and blah, blah, blah blah and so they go like i'm pretty good yeah

yeah we just let we like everyone likes good looking people more i mean have you ever gone out i i don't know my best friends uh my best friend male is a 10 i don't it is literally like walking around with a celebrity i've never experienced anything like it the way he and he has no it's it's fascinating to me because I don't care that people are good looking. More power to you. The problem with me

with the good looking comics is then it makes me have to try harder when I, if I wanted to be hotter, I would have just been an actor. You know? This is like where I'm supposed

to be able to show up in sweatpants and a messy bun and just talk about what I want to talk about. We had a friend, Alex Fast, who was a tremendous comedian and he kind of left the acting business. I remember one of the things he said, and this was a long time ago, was like, he's like, I'm, he said, this was his, he was like, I'm not good looking enough to like pursue this thing.

And listen, there's plenty of actors who have made it without that. But I think what he meant was there is a degree where it's like it's going to be a hard road if you're stunning if you're beautiful if you walk in and people somehow pay for your drinks all the time it's going to help when the casting director is going to have the same response those random people have yeah and yeah it just makes it what is supposed to be an authentic art a little bit more inauthentic because then you do start thinking about things like, do I need lipo? Do I need breast implants? Do I need Botox?

It's comedy. That's supposed to be for the other things. You're supposed to be your real shitty self when you're a comedian. And now I just feel like it's a little bit more contrived. I think about sometimes where like sometimes I try to dress better as I get older. I want to look a little like cooler. I guess you could use the word. Yeah.

Thank you. But there's a degree. There's a degree of like, well, is this at odds with the thing that I'm here for? Yes. Like, like, you know, just Anthony Justin was one of my favorites. He's always had like he's like in the comedy world. He should be the top, the top of the food chain. He's a hot guy.

Yeah. And he like, but he also had to, and Dane Cook, Dane Cook, all his promos are always like these when he's in his twenties. And I'm like,

Dane, you can't, you can't be throwing this out there anymore. We all, you're catfishing the entire audience. I had such a crush on Dane Cook. Oh my God. Yeah.

Yeah. He was, he was a, he was a beautiful man. Yeah. Why do you think, I guess it's like stand-up is such a miserable road for so long these good-looking people you're like you could make more money somewhere else you could get more respect somewhere else I don't care about that they can do what they want it's just really how it ups the look standards for me

personally got it got it got it and I don't i don't i like because i like i'm like oh i'm i feel lucky to be as funny as i am and have a decent like and look pretty sure like i'm a i'm a cute girl but like i'm not a model this is annoying yeah i'm personally irritated by at least we're in new york los ang, it's crazy. I see some of those flowers in LA and I'm like no. No chance people are laughing at this show. It would be interesting to walk

a day in the shoes of someone really good looking. Just to feel. One time I had a friend ask me to babysit their kid and I got treated as a dad. People viewed me as a dad of a young like little girl people were it was like this one morning i was like they were the nicest yeah i'd

never been treated that way like normally like people were just like oh like like so nice to me and i was like it was a short glit it was a little glimpse into like oh people are nicer if they they view you in a different way even like going out as a woman with makeup, without makeup. Sure. I mean, because I look a lot different with makeup on. And I mean, with makeup on, I mean, huge change. Huge change. Remember they did that show, It Got a Lot of Flack, where it was like a white family and a black family.

And they basically used makeup to make the white people look black and the black people look white. And they saw that. I've seen things like that. I don't think I saw that specifically. There was a like mainstream TV show. Oh, they've done it with like Fat Not Fat too.

Fat Not Fat. But it'd be funny if you like, you said you wanted like a glimpse of that life and they brought in like a 50 person team. They're like,

we're going to make you hot. We're going to use mirrors and all sorts. Just that 30 Rock episode just captured it so well. Yeah. Have you ever seen that she dates Jon Hamm

and Jon Hamm is like she finds out that he's bad at everything like he thought he was great at tennis and like he's the worst tennis player that's really funny

and it's so true and it's the bubble that he lives in yep well I agree hot people you gotta stop and our final segment

you better count your blessing you better count your blessing russell let's start with you it's my six year wedding anniversary today holy shit so today yeah why are you here i know um i was like it'll be real quick i'll be back but uh well we we kind of have two anniversaries because we eloped so we generally celebrate the other one more but technically this is the wedding anniversary but i'm just i'm thankful for what's the what's the plan what's the game plan what are you doing uh no we're just gonna like do it we're going away this weekend but so we're just doing like a dinner tonight. But like, but you know, I'm just very grateful for my wife.

She's, she is, she just, she just like really puts in a lot of effort and always makes things so nice. And I just feel like I- And what do you do for her? I, well- This is literally, you're living one of my guys we fuck pet peeves now.

I stalk people's anniversary posts when it's a straight man writing them and I analyze them and it's always like she's selfless. She gave up all her dreams for me. Remember that Chris Pratt post? People got really upset about that. I feel like I do a lot. What are you looking at me?

List of things. I like this. I do a lot. I feel like I do a lot. List it. What are you looking at me? What? List the things. I like this. I like this challenging. No, we did have a thing recently where it was like, it is crazy how like as a man, woman, you can view yourself doing a lot of things. Like I'm doing a lot of this stuff around the house. Sure. And like not the thing of like being a man, you like just in our building, for instance, if

the soup, if there's an issue, we kind of like, we're not the supers, but we're like grass mass straws. We're no, listen, I was going to say things get put on her. Like if you're like, if something is like, if there's like, oh, can you like, if there's something in the hall or something, they're going to go to the woman in the, in the thing and be like, can you, cause they want it to get done. Yes. And that is something we don't recognize as little things.

So I feel like the last month I've been trying to change- Six years in? No, I feel like I always was doing a sizable- This is how I felt at the beginning of the episode. Listen, no, I just feel like I am trying actively to be better about that sort of thing where I don't always recognize like, and that is totally part of it. I get it.

And I'm trying to be more like, okay. But anyways, I'm very grateful. She makes me laugh. She's, I feel like we always are having a good time. And I've been thankful for,

to have the pandemic and like hear that there's like some people struck i felt never felt like that i felt very like like solid person and like it it really solidified every i mean not that we were already married so but i felt i feel good i don't know i feel like i'm apologizing no it's when russell when russell went on the first date i mean've known Russell before he met her, and it was one of those, he came in the day after the first date, we had a rehearsal, and he was fucking smitten.

And it was just like, it was from that moment, just everything kind of fell into place. How did you meet? Tinder. Yeah, really? Tinder, yeah. That's great, I love that.

Can they promote the fucking show? Do they still, does Tinder still have ads? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. Tinder, we. That's great. I love that. Can they promote the fucking show? Do they still? Tinder does ads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. Tinder, we're open. They usually do it on relationship podcasts, though, not on this complain podcast. I think mine's like a what not to do, like listen to this.

But no, you should really think like branding wise, like what goes along with like being a curmudgeon and reach out to those brands. Sure. For real. Because those are the people who are going to be interested in and like, what's your demographic? It's like what? Like knives and ropes.

That's hilarious. Definitely do that. Suicide tools. My blessing is I had a, a very lovely dinner. I went to a restaurant called butter with my, my friend, are you, are you trying to a restaurant called Butter with my friend, Lindsay Elizabeth Hand.

Are you trying to- No, I'm pulling up the chef. What are you, Ashley Olsen? Butter? It was called Butter, yeah. No, I know. I'm very familiar with Butter. It was like very hot years ago

because the Olsens would go there. Oh, yeah. Well, they weren't there. But my friend Lindsay knew Chef Michael Jenkins. Michael Jenkins, he was a chopped person. Ugh, I love chopped.

And so we got like, honestly, we had to order food because you have to order food. But he brought out so much free shit. That sounds so magnificent. That it was one of those things where I'm like, we should just order water. Because we got an insane amount of just one of the top ten meals of my life. I love that. Oh, my God. Margaritas with like frozen mango puree ice cubes. Ooh.

It was delicious. So Lindsay and her husband, JL, thank you for taking me and Tova out to that. I was very grateful for that. I thought these were supposed to be not actual. We do jokes sometimes, but sometimes it's sincere. That's not the way your producer emailed it to me well page we're gonna go back to this has got to stop page it goes both ways it can go either way so no

we can do you like do you can be sassy you can you can do it because it literally we've done it sometimes where it's like and not generic shit like my health or my family that's what we meant something that people don't think to appreciate so i mean like mine was a specific as opposed to if i had said and we've had this before. Music. You want to pick before? Food. Oh, God.

Food. And then you go, what kind of food? It sounded sassier. Just any kind of food? In the email. It can be something like. You can be sassy. You know, you run into acquaintance and like they didn't make a big thing.

Yeah, they didn't see you. And you avoid the whole interaction. You know, it could be something like that. I was just going to say that I'm grateful that considering I'm Italian and Jewish, how little body hair I have. You are very fortunate because I'm Italian and Jewish. Do we know this about each other? I didn't know that you were both. I'm more Jewish.

I mean, my mom's fully Jewish. Dad's slightly. Yeah, actually, I think I knew you were Jewish and then I assumed from your name that you were also Italian. After I talk about my parents for 30 minutes on stage, I have a couple bits about being Italian and Jewish. But I'm a hairy boy. Hairy butt. Inside the butt? Like the crack?

I remember one time in high school being like, I'm going to shave somehow behind. And we're talking razor after razor. You can get all the way in there. I would have to wax. But then it would just be like a strip of cleanliness surrounded by woods. Yeah. If you're going to get hair removal, get laser because waxing

is actually, it's really itchy when it grows back in. I know. Well, I've done it with my chest, but the most embarrassing thing a roommate said to me once, he was like, you go through toilet paper like really fast. That's so funny. And I was so humiliated. Oh, is that because you're

a hairy asshole? Imagine spilling a smoothie on this surface and spilling a smoothie on a wool rug. It's gonna be tougher to get it out of that wool rug. I hope you talk about this on stage after you're done with the divorce. I tried it once and I was like, dingleberry,

that's my least favorite berry. I like that. Did he make you pay more for toilet paper if you were splitting the costs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, why are you bringing this up? I'll buy it from now on. If toilet paper sponsored this, that would be good.

Oh, I've had a toilet paper sponsor before, like the natural, I forgot the name of it, but yeah, you can get a toilet paper sponsor. So you don't have to deal with, you're not too hairy. No, I'm very thankful. I've only had to get rid of a mustache like one time in my entire life. Wow.

Very thankful. Very thankful. That's a perfect blessing. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Would you ever get any kind of laser? Like I'm worried about my shoulders.

My shoulders, sometimes it's like a little too much. I have my vagina lasered. Really? Mm-hmm. How many times did you have to go in for that? It's not even completely done. I went in like maybe like six times because you have to go every six weeks for like almost a year. How painful are we talking? Okay.

So when it starts, it's not painful. But as you get deeper and deeper into the process, it's just like someone's like putting a match next to your pussy. It burns. But it's so short. And some of the laser machines have this thing that blows cool air on you at the same time you got to get one of those machines because that makes a lot of difference and then after the year you're you're it'll never come back yeah so mine's right now is like it's almost never grows back i just i just wanted to stop getting

razor burn honestly i'm so pale and my skin's really sensitive so it was that was what it was about and honestly yeah like things like clean up like i'm like soup i have like i'm super super hygienic so i feel you on the toilet paper and like that like you want to you i think you should also not use quilted i think that's helpful when you have a hairy butt because the quilted it's like yeah it's adding more problem for sure yeah but that your toilet oh god once i once i was going down a woman i remember like there must have been some toilet paper in there yeah something went into my mouth you you need to look you whispered like yeah it depends on you depending on how your vagina is situated you need to check your vagina for toilet paper and to be clear this

was from a relationship that ended not my current one yes um nice uh nice anything you want to plug this is coming out when's it come out July July July July July

19th okay a bit away Uncle Function in LA Dynasty Typewriter September 21st okay

and we're doing remember we're doing a live version of The Downside. It's August 14th. Guest, Usama Siddiqui

from 6 to 730 at Sesh Comedy Club. Go to that. Lots of shows coming up. Do us a favor, if you listen, rate and review us. Tell your friends.

And Corinne, anything you want to plug? Sure. You can follow me on all social media, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram,

at Philanthropy Gal. I have a free full-length comedy special with Christina Hutchinson on YouTube called Our Special Day. You can access it by going to youtube.com slash guysbefucked without the U in fucked. And if you're in Atlanta, Christina and I are headlining the Center Stage Theater on Saturday, September 10th, which will be part of a larger theater tour, but that's the only date that I have right now. So Atlanta, it's your lucky day. And listen guys we fucked yeah listen to guys we fucked and whether you're fucking guys gals uh ultimately life is gonna fuck you this is the downside Downside. Downside.

Downside.