The Dr. John Delony Show - Disciplining Kids, Difficult Friendships, & Dad's First Relationship After Mom's Death

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that gives you real talk on life, relationships and mental health challenges. Through humor, grace and grit, John gives you the tools you need to cut through the chaos of anxiety, depression and disconnection. You can own your present and change your future—and it starts now. So, send us your questions, leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291, or email [e-mail]. We want to talk to YOU! Show Notes for this Episode 1:47: How do we effectively discipline our 9-year-old son? 12:13: How do I cultivate a better relationship with my husband's ex-wife? 20:40: My mom died a year ago and my Dad moved on to a new girlfriend without grieving 30:57: Lyrics of the day: "We Can Take The World" - Johnnyswim   tags: discipline, kids, lying, divorce, relationships, friendship, remarriage, grieving, grief, parents, Johnnyswim   These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.  

Hey, what's up? On today's show, we're going to be talking about how to deal with a nine-year-old who's not following directions, who's lying, and is otherwise causing chaos in the house. We're going to be talking about how to become friends with your partner's ex. And we're going to be talking about how to let mom go and make friends and make peace with your dad's new wife after your mom's passed away. Stay tuned. Hey, what's up? I'm John. This is the Dr. John Deloney Show. We're taking calls about your life, your adventures, your marriages, your relationships, your homeschooling adventures, however good

that's going or not good that's going. We might even be talking about people who don't know how to say no. Wherever you are, if you're watching this, if you are driving, if you're mowing the lawn, I just want you to say it out loud, no. I can't come pick up your whatever or do your whatever it is. Just say the word no. Right after I get off this podcast, I'm going to sprint across town because I can't say no. And I said, sure, I'll come do the thing. I'll do this. It's just a pathology in my soul. And so I'm taking my grievances out on myself to everyone listening. Just practice saying no.

We're going to be talking about everything, right? So whatever's going on in your heart, in your mind, or your universe, I'm here to walk with you. So give me a call, 1-844-693-3291. That's 1-844-693-3291. Feel free to email me at askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. That's askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. That's askjohn at ramsaysolutions.com. All right, let's go straight to the phones to Lisa in Oklahoma City. Lisa, good morning.

How are we doing? I'm okay. How are you? I'm doing okay. Doing okay. So how can I help this morning? My husband and I are having some difficulty disciplining our nine-year-old son. Okay, tell me about it.

He's very defiant and he's always been that way. And sometimes I feel like we're kind of in this chicken and egg sort of deal because I don't know if us being more strict on him because of the defiance and sneakiness now and the lying, that it's contributing to the behavior. So we don't know if we need to back off a little bit, if he needs maybe some counseling. We're kind of worried with the teen years coming up, what's going to be happening. But we definitely don't feel like what we're doing or what we've tried has ever worked. Do you have other kids in your house? We do. We have four kids. One is now off to college, and then we have a 16-year-old, and then we also have a 7-year-old.

16-year-old and a 7-year-old and then a 9-year-old. Are the rest of your kids perfect little angels and wonderful, and you just have one outlier? Or do they have their own series of challenges? Oh, yes, they all do. They're all different. And our youngest is a girl, so that's even different challenges. And they've all kind of, you know, had their moment and learned from them. And we feel like we're kind of on this path where he's not learning from the consequences, whether they're even natural consequences or consequences we've given him. And we've tried reward systems before, and we're not seeing a lot of progress. We get a lot of calls from school ever since he's been in kindergarten or preschool even. And I actually kept him home for his first grade year to try to homeschool him to see if we could progress through because a lot of times the schools want to hold them back

for the behavior. And I just felt like he wasn't, that wasn't necessary for his behavior because he's a good kid. And if you let him do whatever he wants he's great most of us are awesome when we can do whatever we want i know so here's a couple of hard questions and i want to preface this with moms sometimes hear these and dads hear these as accusational and that's not the that's not the case here i just want to kind of dig in a little bit. Okay. Where does he learn this behavior? Where does he learning sneakiness? Where does he learn deceit? He's lying. Where does he learn those behaviors? That's a good question. He does a lot of back talking too. And I feel like that's definitely something he's learned from everyone in the family. All of us kind of argue together in front of each other. So I know that's part of that. But the lying and sneakiness, I'm not sure. My older two boys have been pretty honest with us as far as we can tell as parents. So put your other boys aside.

Okay. Are you and your husband always straightforward with one another? Or do you roll your eyes at each other? Or does he come in and sneak ice cream every once in a while? Or do you say, well, now that your dad's not here, does your son hear that kind of back and forth, confusing character talk? I do say maybe a couple of times we've said that, and I've caught myself. And I don't know if my husband does when I'm not around, but I have caught myself doing that. Like, my daughter will say, hey, dad's not around, let's do this. And I'll say, okay, don't tell your dad, or things like that. And then I realize that it's bad to be doing that.

So, one of the first things I always want to do when a parent is experiencing things like that. And then I realized that it's bad to be doing that. So one of the first things I always want to do when a parent is experiencing a series of behaviors from their kids, I always want to back out 30,000 feet and I want to go to the mirror first. And I need to be honest with myself about where is my kid picking these things up? Where is my kid learning that lying works in this house? That talking back to, so in my house, like my son disrespecting my wife or my daughter, does that work in my house? Where does my son see people say one thing and do another thing?

We don't lie in this house. Hey, don't tell your dad, but we're going to get some ice cream. We're going to stop at Sonic on the way home. You cannot burn me on this one, right? Where does he pick up those incongruencies? So that's number one. I really think a lot of parents don't realize what their kids are absorbing from them and just what's the air they're breathing. That's number one.

Number two, you've got other kids in the house, and it may be picking up how do you interact with them as one transition to college. What was your life like? Did that hit you hard? Did you have some moments where you had some low seasons? Did you and your husband or your husband and your oldest, did they fight? Did they get a little more snippy? And here's why I'm asking that. Kids back feel relational gaps or tension in the home with this idea that it's my fault

and I have to bridge that gap. The kid feels like they've got to bridge that gap. And so often what you will find is a kid who realizes when I talk back, I get yelled at, I get in trouble. But when I get in trouble, I get mom's total attention. She looks me in the eye. She grabs my shoulder. She holds my face. When I lie to dad, he will come in my room and shut the door. And it's just me and him. And kids learn that when there's tension in the house and they can relieve it, they can get the focus back on them by bridging that gap. They will learn to perform.

They'll learn to get straight A's and be the goody-two-shoe kid, or they will learn to steal and to get their connection in other ways. It's the same behavior. I mean, it's different behaviors, but it's the same root issue, right? And so one of the things I always recommend to parents is spend a season, spend 30 days and have this hard, hard conversation with your husband. Y'all got to be on the same page here. And I'm not saying it's hard because he's a husband. I'm saying it's hard because y'all two have to decide that we are going to look at our nine-year-old's behavior as his yelling, as his talkback, as his dishonesty, whatever that is going on there. We're going to look at that as a set of skills he's not picked up, he's not learned, less moral failures. We're not going to say he's a bad guy.

We're not going to say he's failing us. We're going to say we haven't taught him and we're going to invest in that. And here's where you're going to start. Number one, We're going to say, we haven't taught him, and we're going to invest in that. And here's where you're going to start. Number one, you're going to start catching him doing good. And so I've got a young son who is a ball of energy. He gets his dad's complete distractibility. He got it directly from me as though I mainlined it into him, both environmentally and genetically. And what I've started to do is to call him, Hank, get in here.

And I use the same tone of voice, and he comes in. He says, yes, sir. And I say, close that door. And he closes it. And I'll walk up to him, and I'll put my hand on his face. And I'll look him in the eye and say, I heard how you just treated your sister, and I'm so grateful for you. I am so grateful that you are the kind of brother who respects his sister, who treats her with dignity, who lets her just have

that last piece of candy because it's not worth the fight, and because she's worth the extra piece of candy. And so I've made it a point to catch him doing good. Sometimes I'll get him out of bed when he's going to bed, and I'll call him in there where he's put his dishes away, and I'll say, hey, I want to let you know that this was a big help to your mom. This is a big help to me. And this shows a lot of character that when people eat, they clean up their own dishes in this house. And I just want to say thank you. And it is changing him from the inside out because he no longer has to be defiant.

He no longer has to lie or to be loud. He didn't struggle with dishonesty, but he struggled with some other behaviors. And he didn't have to do that anymore because he knows I'm watching. I've got his attention. And here's the last thing I'm going to tell you. You have to get with your husband. Y'all got to get off site. And I want you to take a pen and a piece of paper. And I want you to write down a set of family values. And those family values are going to be the values that you live by, that he lives by, and that you do not tolerate any deviance from your kids. And what does that mean? We're going

to be on the same page about being honest. We're not going to have, hey, don't tell your mom or don't tell your dad. If a kid lies in our home, we will be very swift to respond with punishments 100% of the time. And I'm talking no holds barred punishments. I will take the cord of the TV for a month. I will take the controllers out of the video game and you can get them back next year. Right? So I'm being, I'm joking about the severity there, but you have to have consequences to values-based behavior. You will not be disrespectful to my wife in my house. I tell my son, I tell my daughter,

you will not disrespect your older brother. You will be a person who is kind. I tell my son, you will be kind to the person who is helping us at the restaurant, period. Those are values-based behaviors in my home. You will tell the truth, period, in my home. So we don't fudge on those. We don't move those around. I don't blink at those. And that's a big deal. So back up, look at your whole system. Look at you and your husband, interact with one another, with your other kids. Where is your son learning these behaviors? Catch him being good. Don't make a nine-year-old have to fill the relational gap. You go to him. I know you got four kids. You got three of them at home. I know it's exhausting. It's tiring. That's the job as a parent. You go to him. And then I want y'all to draw some hard, hard lines on values in your family and then announce them to your kids and then don't

blink, don't budge. So thanks for the call, Lisa. All right, let's go to the next caller. Let's go to Danielle in San Antonio, Texas. Danielle, good morning. How are we doing? I'm good. How are you, Dr. J? Dude, I'm doing good. So what's up? How can I help? Hey, so I have a kind of a complicated question, but my main goal is I really, really want to cultivate a relationship with my husband's ex-wife. There's, you know, everything associated with custody. There's lots of drama. And so I just really, really want to try and get to a point where we can have a relationship and overlook, you know, the last few years filled drama. So where does your relationship stand now?

Right now, it's very, very formal, very cordial. And I know that's something to strive for, but I really just want something authentic, something that I'm not scared of being vulnerable in some kind of way with her. But right now I just feel like everything, you know, like we're right in the middle of a custody battle. So everything is being looked at by the courts. Everything is being, you know, text messages are being screenshotted. And so I just want to reach some kind of level where we are authentic in, authentic in our relationship. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. So number one, I want to applaud you. I think what you're doing is noble and I think what you're doing is holy. And I think what you're doing is just acting like a grownup. So high five to you all the way to Texas. Um, I, I, I wish more adults in the world

would act like you're acting, which is I've married a guy who's got a child with another woman. I've married a woman who's got a child with another guy. That means they're going to be in my life. And the more peace I can have relationally, the more I can be on the same page with their ex, the better my life's going to be, the better my new husband's life's going to be, and the better the life of this kid's going to be. So high five to you, Danielle. Here's what I would recommend right now. You mentioned you're in the middle of a custody battle. We're right at the end of it.

It was a very long process, but we have our final hearing in October, and we should get some kind of permanent custody schedule that there won't be any fighting of, you know, well, she said we could have this or he said I could do this kind of stuff. Just something more permanent, you know. Yeah, I think that's really wise to let the courts weigh in, especially when things are still tense and on fire. So what you're asking to do right now, think of it this way, is your home is on fire and your husband scooped up one kid and you grab the dog and some pictures. And on your way out the door, you're talking to your husband about his favorite recipes. Like, you know what? We should start eating at home more and probably have a little bit safer meat and we should eat a little more vegetables. And what he's probably going to tell you is the house is on fire. We need to get out. This isn't the moment to have that conversation.

And so think of a custody battle. Think of somebody else, a court system deciding when you can see the most important relationship in your life, your son or daughter. They're telling you not on these days, on these days. And you're telling somebody else these days. That is a amygdala fire. That is somebody's soul is on fire, and it's not a great time to develop a deep relationship. What you can do right now is to be really respectful, really kind. All you can control is you in this situation, right?

If text messages are being taken out of context, if text messages and emails, electronic communication is being heard aggressively or frustrating or angry, then don't send them. Don't send them. And wait for the smoke to clear on this. Wait for there to be a decision. And that's when a phone call or a text message that says, we're both going to be involved in this child's life. We're both going to be involved in this child's life. We're both going to be involved in this man's life. And I'd love to have a cordial relationship with you

for the sake of the child, for the sake of both of our relationships and just life, harmony, and peace. And my hope is that your husband's ex will be wise and will accept that and will say, oh, thank God, I want to have that relationship too. She might not. She may say, dude, thank God, I wanted to have that relationship too. She might not. She may say, dude, I don't want anything to do with you.

You're the one who broke up my family and ruined everything and put everything on you, right? But I think it's worth that shot. Now just doesn't sound like a good time. As you back out, is she going to be a good mom to your, I guess you're not going to be an adoptive. I guess you're not adopting this child, huh? So is she going to be a good mom to your, um, I guess you're not going to be an adoptive. I guess you haven't, you're not adopting this child, huh? So is she going to be a good mom to this, to this, this kid?

No, absolutely. I mean, um, my husband and I both feel like she, um, the child's never in danger. There's, there's a, they have a good relationship. Um, it was just the issue that the mom was trying to keep my husband away from his daughter. And so, I don't know. I feel like she's a really good mom. I don't fear at all for the kid's safety. It's just the relationship between my husband and her and then her and I that I really, really want to work on and strive for more because, you know, like I love this little girl so much and she deserves to have all three of her parents, you know, not fighting over petty stuff.

And I just don't know how to reach that point. And it's tough because we're geographically dislocated so it's not like I can just you know go up to where they live and say hey let's go have breakfast and talk about it's always through text messages it's always through phone calls and um I did try at some about six months ago when all this started popping off um to to reach out to her, and she kind of ignored my text. So I don't know. I feel like, because I wear my heart, so I feel like I'm trying too hard, and I just, I'm not getting anything back.

Yeah, you might be trying too hard, and my guess is with a custody battle, with how long have you been married to this guy? We've been married for two years. Yeah, so you're still in a new marriage, and you jumped into a blended family now, right? So there's a new marriage. He's got a relationship with another woman still. He's got a kid in the house. My guess is you're trying to control what you can control, which is some of this tension and your way of controlling tension is so noble and so good, but it's through connection and relationship, which is the right thing. The challenge with connection and with relationship is those,

those things come, they go both ways, right? The cord's got to fit into the plug and the wall, right? If it doesn't fit, no matter how good that plug is and how good that extension cord is, if it doesn't go in the plug, there's not going to be any electricity there. There's not going to be a connection. So what you're trying to do is noble and good. My guess is you're going to have to understand that you chose to marry somebody who's in the middle of a custody battle. You chose to marry somebody who's got a kid by somebody else. All fine. But with that comes tension. With that comes learning how to be in relationship and different kinds of relationships.

And with those things come discomfort, come frustration, come, man, I wish we could just sit down and have a conversation. Well, some people just want to have a conversation because they're immature, they're upset, they're heartbroken, 500 other reasons. So yeah, I wouldn't try too hard. I would slow down, exhale, focus your energy on your thoughts and on your actions, which what you can control right now is making sure your husband's loved, making sure that baby's loved, making sure that what work you do is excellent and making sure that when you respond or communicate with his ex, because you have to, you are so respectful and you are so kind and you follow the court's orders, but you also follow human orders. Just treat her

with dignity. Like I know you're doing. Then once the smoke clears on this deal, once the ashes aren't so hot, that's when you reach out and say, I'd love to have a relationship with you. Be prepared for her to say, lady, I don't like you. I don't want you in my life. Don't ever contact me again. Be prepared for that because some people are immature and some people can't deal. Also, be prepared for her to say, I'm in. I am in. We're never going to be besties. I don't ever want to hug and go down on the river walk there in San Antonio. I don't want to do that with you, but we are going to be cordial. We can become somewhat friends. And man, what a gift.

Good for you, Danielle. Good for you. So let's go back to the phones. Let's take one more. Let's go to Holly in Salina, Kansas. Holly, what is up? How are we doing? Hi, Dr. D. Great to talk to you. And also with you. I am having trouble accepting my dad's behavior since my mom passed away. He moved on very quickly a couple months after she died, started dating someone new. And then it was full speed ahead, you know, proposed, living together, spending a lot of money on her that he would never have spent on my mom. He's always been very frugal and smart with money. And, you know, after 45 years with my mom, it's hard for me to see him not only with someone new, but also spending so out of character. And just, it seems to me like giving her all the things that he wouldn't give to my mom. You know, she would have loved to spend all that money, but he always had her on a budget.

And, you know, it's hard for me in so many ways to not only see him showering another woman with affection, but, you know, also with things. Holly, can I tell you, I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are way, way ahead of the grieving game right now. And here's why. Because you are recognizing that you're not okay with this. And it usually takes a lot of hard conversations with folks to get them to realize you're not trying to protect dad. You're not trying to protect this new person. You're just sad. You don't think it's fair. You love your old mom and you wanted things to be a certain way and they're not.

And that you're the one wrestling with this. I want to tell you, Holly, that's a hard place to get to. So high five to you. We're not going to high five. We're going to hug, like hug from Kansas to Nashville on this deal. So tell me about your mom. Tell me about her. Well, she was a nurse for 40 years, worked really hard. And six months after she retired, found out she had cancer and then spent the last two years of her life battling that. So, you know, I have some guilt as far as like, she never got to enjoy her retirement and all that money she worked really hard for. And, you know, my dad was always, they always were really smart on, you know, saving and planning

for their retirement together. So I guess I wish she got to enjoy that. And it's hard for me to see someone new enjoying the fruits of her labor. Yeah. I wish there was a magic thing to say other than that sucks. I can imagine that being hard. Did your mom love your dad? Oh, yeah. And I just... Hold on. Did she love him like in a very dutiful Kansas mom kind of way? Or did she love him like recklessly? She just thought he was one of those hung the moon kind of guys. She was a soldier side by side with him. You know,

she put up with a lot and, and, you know, she stuck by him. So, you know, it's, you know, I wish that she would have gotten to enjoy all these years where, you know, really she just worked her whole life. Yeah. But she got to, I want to back up a little second. She got to work. She did. She had to go to work every day. She saved money. She followed these plans that your dad laid out and they did together. I get that. But she also got to help people for 40 years. She got to fill in a gap of when people were hurting, when they were disconnected, when they were broken, when they were just weeping and hurting. And I'll add hurting again. Sitting with folks who are hurting is one of the greatest gifts, one of the hardest jobs in the world, but it's a gift. And so your mom lived a full, beautiful life, right?

Right. Yeah, she did. That's incredible. I want you to honor that for life, right? Right. Yeah, she did. That's incredible. I want you to honor that for her, right? Right. So here's the hardest question I'm going to ask you. Would your mom like, would you best honor your mom by having a hard conversation with your dad and saying, I don't like the way you're spending money.

I don't like this new lady in our house. Or would you best honor your mom? Would she would wink at you if you said, dad, you're a moron, but go get them, buddy. What's the best way you could honor your mom? Well, I feel like being angry, I'm the only one that's hurt by it because he's moved on and he's happy. And this new woman is certainly happy because she's getting all these things. So I just want to be happy because she loves the guy, but whatever. Well, yeah. Um, but I guess I don't,

I want to honor my mom by not forgetting her. And I feel like he just moved on so quickly that he didn't really honor and grieve her. I felt like he just was trying to fill the void as quickly as possible. And that's, I guess, what's making me hold on to this is, like, I feel like when I accept him with this new person, I'm letting her go. Yeah. And here's the thing, Holly, you're going to have to let her go. You're going to have to let the wonderful mother, the wonderful co-pilot with your dad, this extraordinary nurse who served the least of these for 40 years, you're going to have

to let her go. And that doesn't mean you forget her. That doesn't mean you don't honor her. It does mean you don't punish your dad. And what happiness he's trying to grind out of life. Is he numbing? Did he jump back into a relationship trying to pretend this never happened? Probably. Yes. Probably. Yes. Yeah.

And you can beat him up for it. And I know a lot of 60-year-old men, millions of them, who don't know how to grieve. They don't know what that even looks like. They don't know what purpose. I mean, they don't have the skill set for that. They don't have the tool set for that. And some go on an arduous journey to find it. And others just say, you know what?

I'm going to skid out life with no more tread left on my tires. And I earned this money. I had this picture I was going to spend it with this woman. It didn't work out. We're going to rock and roll until the wheels fall off with somebody else. Is that the most healthy way? Probably not. In fact, no no it's not um is that my place as as a as a kid

to sit down and try to piece that take that from my father i don't think so um i don't think so it's kind of like telling a dad who's overweight you know having yet another conversation about well should you be eating that at some point you know they're 60 years old point, you know, they're 60 years old, they're 70 years old. They're going to do what they're going to do what they're going to do. And I get to choose whether I'm going to love them and just be with them, whether I'm going to fully embrace their new chaotic life. Even if that means, you know, that they're going to be, he's going to be divorced in four years and he's going to need a place to live.

Like, you know what I mean? It's just kind of like, maybe this is a bad analogy, but this is what I'm going to give you. You ever, you have little kids? Yeah, two months old. Okay. This may be a terrible analogy, but I'm going to use it anyway. It's my show, right? So let's pretend your kid's a five-year-old and you hand them, is it a girl or a boy?

A boy. You hand that little boy a thing of cotton candy and he starts eating it and he gets a little bit on his nose and on his cheek and you stop and you wipe it and then you turn around to talk to somebody and you turn back around and he's got cotton candy from the top of his head to the bottom of his chin. It's in his nose. It's everywhere. And there just comes that moment when you say,

you know what, dude, just get it. Just eat the cotton candy. That doesn't mean you're a bad mom. That doesn't mean that you don't love your kid. That doesn't mean you don't care about his clothes or how he looks. That means in this moment, I'm just going to love you and go get him, buddy. Right? And I'm not saying your dad's new wife is cotton candy, right? But there comes a moment when you said it best. You're only hurting yourself. You're only poisoning what years you have left with your dad. And you might be poisoning a new friendship with this woman.

And so have you ever taken her out for coffee and just said, hey, I want to get to know you? No, no. Okay. I want to strongly, with all of just said, hey, I want to get to know you? No, no. Okay. I want to strongly, with all of my heart, highly recommend you do that. Because you might find that she's not as bad as you thought. You might find she's terrible. She may be the worst, right? But my guess is your dad's a person of character.

Your dad knows how to pick them because he picked one real well. And he is picking somebody to ride jet skis with um for as long as he's got left and yeah it is what it is i get morning and just know that by celebrating your dad celebrating your mom's life you're not diminishing her you're not forgetting her but you are letting her go you are letting her go Well, I will do my best. Thank you very much. Remember this. Growing through grief is about making meaning, and you can only grow through grief with relationships.

And so, again, calling her, this new woman, and saying, hey, you're in my life, right, wrong, or indifferent. Let's get together. Sitting down with your dad and saying, tell me what you love about this new lady. Trying to hear it and figure it out. It's going to be weird. It's going to be awkward. It's going to be uncomfortable. But it's the best you can do.

There's the old quote in the Alcoholics Anonymous group that, you know, holding on to resentment, holding on to this type of hatred is like poisoning yourself and hoping somebody else dies. Right? And Holly, you know that. Right? We all know that. That being angry and frustrated at other people, that just weighs me down. Right?

And we also know this heart-wrenching, if I accept this new person, that means I got to let my mom go. I got to let her go. She lived an incredible life. Like she said, she was a soldier. I got to let her go. I'm still going to remember her. I'm still going to honor her. I'm still going to love her memory, but I got to let her go. Then we're all going to move on with joy in our hearts. We're going to make meaning the best we can. We're never going to forget, but I got to let her go. Then we're all going to move on with joy in our hearts. We're going to make meaning the best we can. We're never going to forget, but we're going to make meaning moving forward. Holly, I love your question. And more importantly, I love your heart. Good for you. Good for you. Heal your heart and go make some more relationships.

All right. So as we wrap up today's show, I asked a coworker, what's the greatest song ever written? And really quickly, she rattled this song off. And I thought, oh, goodness, these youngins, these young millennials. And then I listened to the song and realized everything I knew about the world was a lie. This was the greatest song ever written.

It was written just a few years ago by some group who lives in the town where I live. And I didn't even know it. It's like, I don't even know what to say. It's like sleeping on a bed of dirt with diamonds underneath you. I don't even know.

My heart was exploded with joy. Here we go. Here's the song. It's by the band Johnny Swim off their record entitled Diamonds. This is a deep cut. It's called We Can Take the World. They write, we don't need calligraphy to write a fancy story. Kings and queens return to thieves to find what we've been holding, you and me. We can take the world. Because they can write stories, they can write songs, but they don't make fairy tales sweeter than ours.

They can climb mountains high into the sky, but they can't take the world, oh, like we can take the world. Woo! Johnny Swim in Nashville, Tennessee. This is the John Deloney Show.