The Dr. John Delony Show - John Crist Opens Up About His Recent Proposal and Future Career

Episode Date: October 24, 2025

On today’s episode, we sit down with John Crist and cover his recent proposal, his time in rehab, and his future comedic career. Next Steps:  📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message.  📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life  📝 Anxiety Test 📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards  💭 John's Free Guided Meditation  🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch    Connect With Our Sponsors: Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth.   Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe.  Visit Hallow for a 90-day free trial. Visit Helix Sleep for special offers!  Explore Poncho Outdoors! Get 25% off your order at Thorne.    Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights   🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I was in a signing line in Los Angeles. Some woman leans over on the table where I'm signing her book and she said, hey, real quick, is marriage today still worth it? I looked at her and said, what is the thing inside of you? It says, I'm going to commit myself to somebody for the rest of our lives till death of us part. Isn't it makes me emotional to say. What's going on? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney show. I'm so glad that you pulled up a seat to hang out with us today.

A few weeks ago, I got a text message from a great friend of mine. He had just walked off the stage after doing the Tonight Show. He's a comedian. He's a comedian. Walked off stage. And if you are a comedian and you get to do the Tonight Show, it's kind of. kind of the pinnacle, right? It's the place where you can exhale and say, I've made it. And he sent me a text that was so powerful and so profound. I was like, hey, I want to have this conversation where others can listen in on it. I've had him on this show before. I'm talking about my good friend John Christ, and he just got engaged. He went through a whole lot. And we've talked about in a previous show his recovery journey what it's like going to rehab it's like

reconnecting with your family and your friends and this time we dive a little bit deeper but i want to talk about two things that are really important to me right now what does it look like what is an actual journey of redemption i get so many calls on my show about this happened i did this thing I got caught doing this thing, and I don't have a path back. And so I brought John on to talk honestly, and I think comedians are the last truth-tellers we got. Can you come back and talk about this journey of redemption and what it was like, well, I'm not going to blow it because the conversation's awesome. And he's a guy who's quote-unquote made it. He sells out theaters all over the country, and he just asked somebody to marry him.

And his fiancee, she's awesome. she's amazing but i just wanted to talk through why why are we getting married why do we still have that longing to connect with somebody and go ride or die until death do us part so i'm so glad you're here for extra caseo over the nachos and listen to my conversation with my great friend john christ there was a huge global announcement recently on this massive engagement Oh, yeah. Just happen to be the day after yours. That sucks, we announced our engagement, then Taylor Swift.

Yeah. I think I can handle that. You've been able to sleep sense? Well, I, yes, number one. I, it's funny. Yeah, I think it's fine. I didn't take any, I didn't take any ego hit from that. So, answer, I want to dig into this question because it haunts me.

two years ago I was in a signing line in Los Angeles and you know this like you can get into a signing line or handshaken line and there's a I don't know how to say it other than there's a gloss that comes over you you're shaking hands thank you appreciate it and then the next person and then you've got a handler running everybody through and you sign the thing in the next and you're trying to like have a personal moment but it's three seconds or five seconds and it goes on some woman leans over on the table where I'm signing her book and she said hey real quick

And for me, that can be like, hey, I've been cheating on my husband and or I'm thinking of... Man, they don't say that at mine. Well, they might be like, hey, I don't think a Christian should have said that. Anyway, who knows? She said, hey, real quick. And she said, is a marriage still worth it? And I immediately have a default, you know, me and my wife, and she stopped me. And she goes, no, no, I know it worked out for y'all.

Is marriage today still worth it? And it broke that, it just shattered that little facade. And I looked at her and said, I think so. But I didn't have data. I didn't have like the, I couldn't just rattle off the tax advantages and the this and the. I'm sure your wife wouldn't appreciate that if you went to tax advantages first. I'm trying to think of like, I can't just give you a list of why this is a great idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Other than it's worked out awesome for me. Sure. And I think it holds civilization together. But other than those two things, right? And so I get haunted by questions. And so the last two years, it's just been an obsession. And the last remaining, I've got all the answers to those questions now, the last remaining thing that I can't firmly grasp

is why is Jeff Bezos getting remarried? I can't wrap my head around it. Why? And then if I distill down, because just a rung or two below him is you, is... One or two. I mean, bank accounts are similar, but he's a little bit more popular. Illish, is.

um like you've got this success you're getting remarried you've got this house yeah you've got a nice car not me you got you i'm talking you know oh yeah you have a very successful career okay what is the thing inside of you it says i'm gonna pause and i'm going to commit myself to somebody for the rest of our lives till death of this part what is that inner engine yeah I think I mean you'll see you see

I think all my buddies that have gone ahead of me I'm 41 all my buddies are have kids that are to be in high school yeah about to be in high school

yeah and you go man they all have said to me they go did did all of this employee of the year

jobs, raises he goes, I want to be hanging out with my wife. I want to be at my kids' games. Yeah. This is all, and I think in terms of success, you go, well,

this, this can't be it. Like, for what? Yeah. Yeah. And obviously, Lydia, I mean, dude, I told somebody I was like, I don't know, I want to go hang out with Lydia. What's she doing? What's she doing?

I want to go hang with her. And then if I, outside of that, I think for myself personally, I go, to imagine if I, I mean, I got some big news positive in my career yesterday. All I wanted to do is go tell her. Tell her, yeah. Yeah, it did. Then you go, well, and we've also gotten horrific news about family, about health, about, and you just go, well, same. still want to tell her. Still, when I get sad, I still want to go.

And that, I mean, what, what, what is Jeff, and I, and hopefully I've done the same for her, by the way, I think I have. But, like, what, what is Jeff Bezos financial, you know, what, what is it, what's this, what's his, what's his future without it? Oh, that's actually the opposite question. What's his future without it? Why wouldn't you do that? Yeah, so you go, hey, Amazon double.

Amazon tripled. Amazon 10xed. We went to the moon. We, all right. And you're on a bigger boat by yourself. Yeah. So I think everybody goes, well, look, let's, let's, I mean, Dave talks about this all the time. Let's play this out.

Let's play this. You're 84 years old. You're hooked up to a bunch of machines. And you got a lot of credits that you've been on the Tonight Show a couple times. Yeah. I don't think that's in, I don't even think that's, a Christian principle that's just a human principle yeah yeah that if you're sitting you go I well I don't want to do this by myself yeah I've been sober for coming up on six

years but I like you found you go oh that was that was a part of my past and that would do it I don't I don't like I found a better way yeah or like that you know what I'm saying yeah yeah I kind of I like when you whatever the Bible verses when I was a child I behave like a child and they meant i became up a man yeah i don't think i've i've ever felt i've done some challenging things in my career and and and uh but i've never felt more i i thought i thought and maybe maybe this is from culture or society i thought i was going to feel like as it makes me emotional to say i thought i was going to feel like I thought it was going to feel like a beta getting on one knee.

Oh, no, it's the most powerful position in the world. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not, I don't even know what that means. I thought that's how I would feel. Yeah. Like a, like, I don't know, like a. Some kind of sims, some kind of wimp.

Yes. And I don't know where I got that idea. I don't know where. It's this idea that like leadership, had a household, all. And that stuff's been so bastardized and ruined. But, like, it means being at the top. And everybody's underneath you. It's not bow, but asking on one knee.

Yeah. But when you realize it's like, oh, no, no, no, no. Leadership is getting underneath the whole thing and saying, like, you can build this on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can build your life. I never felt like more of a man. Yeah.

I don't even know if people are going to listen to this and even makes it. I'm sure they will. I'm sure a guy. a man that has been in a similar scenario would what um what are things you're doing you've like your you're your your your gang you're the guys that you've run with for the last 15 20 years have gone ahead of you what are the things you're going to do right now to be the best husband you can be out of the gate oh interesting well i think i have it's it's really I think a lot of people around me

have encouraged me that they're like, hey, this is... Maybe they haven't, like, verbally encourage... But you're just like, hey, you go to their... What are you doing this weekend? I'm going to my kids' games, dude. That's what I'm doing. I'm not going to...

I'm not going to Georgia LSU, dude. No disrespect. It's a big game. It's a big game. It'll probably be a big game this year, if they're playing each other. But they're like, that doesn't... I think there's so many good models around me that have gone,

before me, that he would be like, hey, this is, and I think we have a lot of, the friends that we have that have walked with us through everything, they've been so helpful, because they go, sometimes we go, hey, this is a big deal, and they, ahead of us, they go, that's not a big deal.

Or we go, this is, and they go, hey, that's actually a bigger deal than you think. And you can have both of these that were obviously best friends, we have these both have these she'll go to her friends and they go hey it sounded like they said I was

overreacting to that a little bit I don't think so but they yeah yeah yeah yeah or I'll go to my friends and I was like hey I just want to I just want to apologize for that and I feel like again we're in very early so I had a joke about how now that I've been engaged for a week

I can write a Christian a Christian marriage book yeah Because as soon as any public figure in Christianity gets married, they're like, this is how you do it. I have no idea. The number of people, dude, who have reached out and been like, hey, I cheated on my wife 42 times, but we, like, made it.

And so now we are going to write a marriage book, and we're going to start a marriage ministry. I have no idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably shouldn't, you shouldn't write that book. You survived? Yeah, great. The thing that has been maybe the most devastating thing for me watching the social media

world explode is it has proliferated this idea of advice yeah and where we talked about this on our podcast yesterday whereas like it's advice advice advice what's the four steps

what's the attachment theory what's the like all of this stuff what's your integrum number like every there's all these programs all this advice advice advice and the only thing it's kind of like when you lose everything you get this you get you sit

reality like oh didn't kill me i still got my birthday yeah right because i got your birthday when like when i'm sitting with somebody whose kid just passed away yeah there's no vice there's no four-step plan there shouldn't be and you and they don't want any it's just presence hey dude it's just showing up yeah and that's that to me is i mean you sit with somebody who's been um nAA for years and you sit with somebody who's been a sponsor yeah those often make some of the most amazing therapists because they have a bs detector that's remarkable they're not Yeah, but also they have a lie detector that's amazing, but they also have a, I'm here, I'm here with you. Anybody who you're driving and they're at the intersection and it goes, take my course, flip homes, I'll teach you how to make a million dollars here.

Like, why aren't you doing it? Yeah, go make a million dollars. Why did you write on, by the way, with a Sharpie on a steak that you bought at Home Depot, why, why, why? I wouldn't, if I knew how to make a million dollars a month, I would not tell anyone. Bro, I would not tell, if I was flipping homes in Nashville and had tips and tricks to do, I would not tell anyone. There's a great comic who had a joke in doing it. There was a signless out of the road that said, call this number and ask me how I lost weight. So he calls it and the guy goes, diet and exercise.

He's like, oh, thanks, man. Oh, yeah, perfect. Perfect. What you even tell, like, and you wouldn't tell you, there's a lot of, like, anybody that has a, unfortunately in comedy, the people in bad marriages, you hear a lot about it. You hear a lot about those, those voices are very loud on TikTok. Those voices are very loud. Here's the five signs that your husband's a narcissist. You're like, dude, and then the people.

These three things prove she's cheating on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were like, dude, I saw a TikTok the other day. It was like, go hug your boyfriend. This is a good guy. And when you're sad, that guy brings you a cup of coffee. Cling to that. Like, if somebody, if somebody has a good, if you're trying to start a business,

you're like, hey, dude, find the guy at church. I feel like you got, that guy's not teaching a course because he's running his business. He's running a business, yeah. I'm not, to any, there's like a trope, anybody that's teaching a comedy class has never. But everybody knows that. You're like, if you're teaching a comedy club and then you can, like, go, go find the comic that's selling out and go,

hey, help me how to do it. Everybody that has a good marriage at your, they're not saying anything. They're like, because they're busy being married well. They're like, hey, I'm lucky to, I got a great, a lot of, all you hear is, I got a great spouse.

Married well. We've worked through some things. Yep. Dude, the Tonight Show set could not have gone better. It's perfect. Yeah, it was, it was, it was next to near perfect okay so the uh the last joke is i'm talking about um if you

that my girlfriend goes some one of her friends did a 360 and she's turned her life around i go i think you meant 180 yeah that's the joke right so and i've practiced this bit in preparation for tonight joke i want to say 50 times maybe more where and the closer she goes it's 180 and i go it's you meant 360 and i go look babe and i do a full three six Okay, I do a full 360 and then it gets a chuckle and then I go, and that's the last time we talked, boom. Right, right. That 50 times out of 50, chuckle, boom. When I did the Tonight Show, I did, babe, look, did the full 360, it got such a, no words, by the way, got such a huge applause break, I should have been like, I'm John Chris.

and I go and that's the last time we talked got less of a laugh because the 360 was so big and it could again could not have gone better and there would be no next to no possible way

to live on my late night debut to cut out my closer but I should have or that's what I thought when I left and it's that it's that sensation

I go, God, I could, but I got to be, you know, could not have gone, the only reason, it's both, the only, it went so good that if I get, I just would have made, no one in the history of late night would ever close like that on a nonverbal, right, would have been, but I give myself grace, but I also go, I mean, there's no way to, I could have rehearsed that. But, but that's, that to me is being well, which is, yeah, I'm not going to, beat myself up i'm gonna see in the future i'll put that in my pocket but i'm not a failure i'm not a loser i didn't blow it i can i can accept this moment for what i'll watch it if anybody listening go back you can go watch it and you go but if i would have just certain it a huge laugh yeah that's when i watched it the first thing i was like i blew that in me

i know nobody thought but yeah i bet everybody every football player watching game film or every contract you signed or the books you write you wrote a book a year ago i'd love to rewrite them all Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, at the time, but I don't, yeah, yeah. But my self-worth isn't in that. It's in, my wife loves me when I get home.

My kids are happy. Then I walk in the front door, and that's years of work, man, which is awesome. Somebody asked me on my Instagram story the other day, if I ever regretted a joke. I go, every day. What do you mean? Yeah, obviously, dude. What did you mean? Like, I wouldn't tell it now.

I told it then. And that's the, like, you're like, well, look at this joke. I was like, yeah, but. Kevin Hart said that one time about he was trying to be canceled for something and he's like, yeah, I made that joke. I don't make it now. Isn't that progress?

That's what we're doing. Progressive, that's what we're doing. The foremost important words in the world, I think, that tell me someone's wise is I change my mind. I don't think that anymore. I used to. Yeah, and then I met him. Yeah, exactly.

I used to think that. It's the fall, which means. means I get to wear my poncho shirts even more than I got to in the summer. The mornings are getting cooler and I get to pull out my favorite poncho shirts, the comfortable performance denims, and the amazingly soft flannels. Pancho's performance denim has that soft, broken and feel like you've worn it a thousand times, but it still looks awesome. I wear them to dress up events and I wear them on stages all across the country. These shirts have a touch of stretch and they move with you and not against you. And the poncho flannels,

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I'm going to get up in the morning before my wife and I'm going to go do another thing right whatever those steps are we have a culture that I think everyone is struggling with some sort of addiction and some sort of Xanax, which is, it could be work. Some sort of Xana. Now, what is Xanax? A painkiller?

It's a, it's a antidepressant. It's a benzodia. But like some way to numb out to our body's innate alarms to say like, yeah, I'm just going to deal with that. I can't deal with that, right? It's too much. Whether it's work, whether it is actual alcohol, whether it's pornography, whether it's down the list. You have a couple of things. you could tell a mom or a dad or a friend about if they've got some in their life that is struggling with

something they are ultimately powerless to control. Or them. Yeah. What is someone who's in the throes of it? You know what's funny is I have a joke in my show now about chat GPT or like you feel so close with it. You say like, dude, my buddies is struggling with balding. Like what should I tell him? It's like, dude, because you feel like you're so close to them. You mean you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, what should I tell my, yeah, yeah. I would say, so when I was in treatment.

Or take me to 2017, 2018. People probably try to talk to you a little bit. Oh, oh, I would say all the time. And I would say, well, I would say to the person that is, if you have a friend that is struggling that is in the darkness, just be, just be the person that when it all comes undone that they call you. That's it. They don't need an article about how alcohol,

alcohol is they know the daily bible verse they know they don't need to that uh those that struggling are in unhappiness at their jobs more likely to self-discipline they know they know everybody i could be wrong about that's from my experience everybody knows that they know that they know that hey this relationship is not healthy they know i i could be wrong about that but they know but then there's also that voice we talked about the beginning which is like but i can't lose this but i can't lose this job i can't lose this relationship i can't lose or that and so when i when i was when i went to rehab the worst thing and a lot of people say i went to went to treatment and there was uh you know we played video games and there was hot tubs there and

there was i go that's not rehab any like this place was in the middle of the desert i may have talked to you about this before there's no obviously no cell phones there's no uh there's no screens of any resort, there's no drugs, there's no alcohol, there's no sugar, there's no caffeine, there's no fiction books, there's no, and even if you get a runner's high from working out, they don't let you do that. Yeah. So there's no... That's a real place, by the way, that's a real one. It's a real place. It's not one of these Malibu resorts, that's a real... It's called the Meadows. That's it. Because people are going to eat DME all the time. There's the bridge, there's a me. It's a real place. And let me tell you, it is horrific. Yeah. It's not fun. It's not a retreat.

It's horrific. Yeah. It is horrific. And they take everything, any kind of escape. All the Xanaxes away, yes. Any kind of escape. Now, if you're on prescriptions, they'll look at it and maybe adjust it for you. But even that, they're like, there's no anything.

So, and that will, that, and I, and I, after 45 days in there, I would go, dude, if I could ever sink my teeth into a Chick-fil-A sandwich, it would be. unbelievable. If I could ever take my nephew to the park, it would be and those things all do reset. Yeah.

All after a time without them. 30, 45 days. That's what... Yeah, yeah. And I needed another two months in another place to really solidify, but I am sober. I was on the honors program. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They kept me longer. You need to stay longer? But I would say there is in therapy that I've done

sense that there is if you're doing like a planned uh detachment that's fine it's like hey i'm gonna go i've had exhausting day with the kids i'm gonna go watch an hour of trashy television just as long as we're admitting what that is that you're or hey i'm gonna go uh to the batting cages or i'm gonna go as long as it's not self-destructive that is okay yeah you're not hiding you're not hiding no Hey, I've had a stressful day. I'm going to have a glass of wine. As long as it's with it, I think a lot of times, especially in Christianity, it's like, no, nothing. And you're like, all right, well, everybody's going somewhere.

Then the nothing becomes a drug. Yeah. I told Lydia, actually, I talked to Dave about this. And he's like, so many people have come in that they say on, it's popular now because it's football season. sports betting and people have lost hundreds of thousands and destroyed so it's on your phone and I and I do it I do it and I say I go Lydia here here is my draft kings yeah I go I put in January I put a thousand

dollars in this account and it's like at eleven hundred like it's kind of embarrassing because that money that time should be spent building a business or in it but it is she goes okay yeah okay yeah and her the saying, by the way. It's like it's not detachment, whatever it's called I always said, I don't want everyone to fall off a wagon but I don't mind parking the wagon and crawling down and rolling around in the mud

and then I'm going to hose off and get back on the way. And they say, hey, you're going to go down there for 30 minutes and then we're going to hose off and go, all right, I'm in. Yeah, I think there's a lot of, in Christianity, it's like wipe everything from your, I don't know, does that person, I used to like drink in secret. Yeah. I was on FaceTime with a friend and I would go off camera, take shots.

And Jesus was called the drunker. They made fun of him. Look who you're hanging out with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just like if you're saying, hey, I, after like a show on the road, I would like, have such a high, you're like, I put like a hundred bucks on like the West Coast NBA game and like door dash some Taco Bell. Yeah, right.

And that is, I don't, I'm not. the most proud of it. Right. But I'm not doing it in secret. Right. And it's not... You're not doing it to mask anything? I'm doing it to cope a little...

To come down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or to just... To veg. Yeah, but I'm a human. But also, there's nobody that is... Not aware of the whole crew is there and we're... Yeah, it's not...

I'll say it this way. It's not... If I was teaching a class, I wouldn't say I was doing that. Right. Right. But here's the thing. I think that's an... another that's another huge addiction in our culture which is you can't rest you can't laugh

you can't put your shoulders down can't detach you can't look at the grass yeah yeah yeah yeah like and i don't know any human anybody who doesn't have some sort of dude let's just go or what do you when it when it all when it all comes undone when you had a horrific day at work when the kids are when you i've gotten bad news what do you want to do right You're like, well, I do I, I say this honestly. I do not want to drink. I don't. I want to go be alone and I want to isolate myself.

And I probably want to eat sometimes and I want to, yeah. You're like, all right, well, because you're being honest about that. And you're like, all right, well, then you go, yeah, I probably was like, dude you need to I need to go down to the comedy club you're like hey Lydia would be like

hey dude you need to go down there and get some like attention and you feel like you're the king I'm the king when I walk in there everybody's like dude you go up whenever you want they have like my order memorized and if I come late in the show they have it like waiting for me and you're like dude you're like that's a good feeling

just say that that's a good feeling and then we can all be like all right see in the morning that's fine or like yeah whatever it's intentionality it's same with everybody that's a workaholic

which I can be guilty of do it too you're a god in there and maybe in your personal life it's not going well so I just say hey I'm gonna be honest with you whenever I go in there everybody needs me

everybody wants my I feel like I'm the man in there and I feel like this might not be going well I probably shouldn't but I've defaulted to spend in a little bit more of my time in there.

I imagine any other human would be like... It's where everybody finds himself. They go, yeah, and if that's not your addiction, they go, well, I don't do that, but... I got this one. Yeah, I got this one. But it's, to me, if it's of importance,

if I realize, like, my wife told me the other day, she's like, hey, just... As your wife, going down the comedy clubs, it's your new drug. I did this with an MMA gym, like, 20 years ago. She's like, you just kind of moved in, and she's like, it's your new drug. She goes, I don't mind it.

It's cool. I just need you to know I see an addict and I'm like all right cool but it's kind of awesome can I yeah

but it's it's a calling it out and B she goes to bed at 545 PM yeah whatever so but the bigger

you're like hey I'm not losing my job the kids have school clothes everybody's taking care of I'm we're gonna make sure they go

yeah go for it but also there was a season about two or three months ago when it was coming at the expense right yeah fair and so and then it's like

yeah she's more important yeah we're gonna come back here but I do love circling back and then we'll close up I love that wisdom if you're with somebody who's really struggling

I think there's something important about saying hey I see that you're not okay and then I'm gonna continue to tell you I love you and I'm gonna be here when this in the ash I'll be there because this ends in ash and I did

but like the secret pamphlets or the what yeah I was I was my buddy and this is before I got the Tonight Show but he called me and he goes hey dude I got some I got some news we lost a child

he had a miscarriage and we just were like dang and I and I told Lydia like after I was like I was Dude, I told him this, actually, recently.

I go, did you have any idea how honored I was to get that call? So, and he told me from his mouth that he called other people close, and they couldn't hold it. They were like, here's the statistics. It happens all the time. And so he, in his darkest, he scrolled through, but he goes, this guy could

and he's been with me through tremendous sadness tremendous and we have a relationship together so you go I wonder why I guess that would be my advice try to become that friend so when it comes down why did he call me? I'm gonna call you and he knew he was in his darkest day and I wouldn't be like

oh don't happen all the time or and then And then I, same guy, got to Tonight Show, and I go, like, I texted you. I called some other people. I FaceTimed my parents. Well, I just, well, I called you before I happened, because I was proud. I'm kidding. And I went to his house.

Yeah. I went to his house and I knocked on his door and I go, dude, I got the Tonight Show. Yeah, that's it. And I go. What are we doing if we're not doing that? What do we hear for if we're not doing that? We're going to hold the bad stuff and we're going to hold the good stuff.

Yeah, both. And they don't cancel each other out. Well, dude, I want to tell you, congratulations. It's awesome. Same to you. That thinking about closing that door in 2019 to you walking out into downtown New York in 2025. Oh, dude.

I wish everybody could. I don't say horrific, but I wish. I wish proud is nothing right word I'm like your dad, but man, I'm so proud of you. That's awesome. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, here's the truth. I have great friends. I got a strong faith and I have an amazing wife and a family. I'm also kind of a nerd and I got two PhDs worth of information about how to be well and whole, right? And yet, there have been critically important times in my life. Several of these times over the years that I've had to go spend time with a great therapist. and that time with a therapist has made all the difference for me and my emotional health, my mental health, and my relationships.

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That's a BetterHelp, h-elp.com slash deloney. I'm going to be very judicious, but I want to read a text you sent me. All right. Okay. And right when you sent this, I was like, I need to have you back in a couple weeks

and talk through it. So you sent me a picture of you with that, Tonight Show. Okay. All right. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, you're one of like the guys I just root for. And it's like so, like so happy.

I was by myself, like when I got this and I was just so happy. And then you text this. I just said, congratulations and yada yada. And you said, I was legit marked for dead in 2019, laying on a bed in rehab. Yeah. And I thought, from 2019 to here, six years, take me back to laying in bed. And, you know, that first night, for people who don't know in rehab, like, that first night, like, it's like being a college freshman.

I was going to compare it to Shawshank, but it's not like that. It's not like that. Mentally, maybe mentally, maybe mentally. But, like, did you have a roommate? Let's see, not the first night. No, the first night, you're, like, in, like, in acute, like, and then you, at. Oh, so you got detox. As you're, no, no, no, no.

Okay, but, like, you go in and they're, like, you got to be monitored 24-7, and then, like, they take, like, when you first walk in, I don't know if I said this last time, but they take away, like, your belt, your shoelaces, because people come in there, like, suicide. Oh, so you weren't okay. You didn't. No, I mean, I was not, I don't want to make a bigger deal.

I mean, I wasn't good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't good. I wasn't good. Yeah, but they take away, like, for me, I always joke that they took away my hair joke, because there's like alcohol and like any possible escape your look so they take it but then obviously after like a couple hours they're like oh you can go you're good here you can go to the

other and so i think back to like my first year in a dorm as a freshman yeah i don't know this guy random roommate from kansas yeah i'm trying to breathe too loud trying to like be cool oh yeah and so i'm thinking like all right you're back in that room yep i remember everything about it tell me i mean i had a i was like it's kind of like out of out of body a little bit that you're like i can't believe i'm here i mean there's a guy that came in the day after me that they he found out that he was jean on his wife or something he was a pastor and they they he was he was at church working they pulled up with a bagpacked for him they said if you get in this car right we know about everything if you get in this car right now we'll pay for your treatment and

so he showed up in his khakis tucked in oh man like imagine the yeah yeah yeah he was like i don't even know like what just happened yeah yeah you're just like out of your and then it's i think it slowly sinks in i don't know maybe i mean i if i was marked for dead it was it was i marked myself for that of course of course yeah yeah else is like yeah but i mean you're you have to be thinking like like All right, so this part of my life, so this part of my life, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I'm going to be an Arby's manager, like walk me through that. Oh, oh, worse, dude, I mean, and no disrespect, no disrespect to anybody that works at Arby's. Yeah, I think the, I think the, I'm going to start a lawn business. Yeah, let me think if I, if I, if I, I thought I was going to lose all my money, all my, everything, everything, everything. I didn't, I was like, maybe I would go live with my parents or something. I have no idea. I mean, you just have no, it's all upside down. And you're like, well, this is the path I was on.

Now, I'm, I always, I would cry. I think I would be sad because I was like, maybe I can't afford to like, I don't know, I thought I couldn't afford to get married. I had no girlfriend or no, but I was like, I can't, I couldn't get, I have no future. I have nothing, did, I have nothing. Louis C.K. said that all I have left is my birthday. Oh, that's a good line. he got canceled you know all i have left is my birthday everything else is they or they don't

they will not stop until they take everything all i have is my birthday and so one of most common calls i get one of the most common like hey delin we need to come over to our house i didn't have my phone but i would have no i'm sorry they didn't let me have my phone but yeah but the number of people who get to the place yeah i found out my husband cheated on me i found out my kids got x ys i just lost my job i was about to take my job whatever it's that sense that you play the future out all the way and it's all over and then i tune in to watch and i know that's delayed and i'm sitting there cheering in my like house by myself like cheering and then you walk out of the tonight show six years later yeah which is the pen i mean it's the pentacle if you grew up on

like cars center that's it that's it it is what it is walk me to that moment I mean, so I was sitting in, so you, you, the only way forward, I think I had to get to a place is like, because I had a book deal, I was going to be on the late show with James Gordon and a Netflix special that we're all about to come out, all gone. The only way forward, and I tell other people this, is all, I think if you've actually said this on your, like, it's over. Like you're former, it's over. So you can't be like reaching back out to the publisher. Hey, are we still? It's over. It's over.

It's all over. And I'm actually having lunch with a guy tomorrow that. Very similar situation. It's over. Hey, what about the tour? It's over. And if you can get there, then you can start to, I wouldn't even say rebuild. Build.

Yeah. Not re, but start. But I knew I could still tell you. jokes. Sure. So then I was like, well, I will start. I don't mean, I didn't even know if I could ever do comedy again. I think I was just catastrophizing things in my mind.

Obviously, you're... But I mean, it's real, though. Yeah, dude, it's not, yeah. It's like a Netflix deal. And I'll book deal, like all these things that people, everyone's sitting in home saying, that'd be so cool if you had that and then it's gone. Yeah, and now all, well, the, I'm sitting in my, I mean, the Tonight Show has been such.

such a that's got to be equally out of body no did more out of body did more out of body I've gotten all those things back X times a thousand yeah yeah yeah but I go like I was sitting in my

I mean we for to do the tonight show you you hey first of all to get on their radar you have to walk 15 not 15 years but a long time they go oh we know who you are okay we're going to send a video we're going to send a

five minutes. Ah, we don't like it, change this video. We say, all right, well, they responded. Okay, well, change this part, move this around, switch the opener to this. Actually, they don't like those when you're talking about your family too much, maybe switch it to more,

switch it to this, and then you go, they're back and forth, I'm talking about years, dude, years. And then you're going back in, I'm going down to Zanis every Monday night when I'm off tour. I do a tour all weekend, and then Monday night I'm going down to Zanis

to try to perfect this. five minutes and the last time tristan the guy that films down there and we were going back and forth and and mixing jokes and i go man i'm so tired and i got i'm doing five six hours in the weekend i can't afford to spend my monday nights coming down here i got to be off i got to be and i go and we've been so many times dude and i go i told this to my girlfriend now fiancee i go if if this if this one doesn't if they don't like this one I think I'm done

I'm done trying to pursue that I'm just going to say hey it's not for me I'm going to go in a different direction I'm sitting at my kitchen I mean there's like five moments in my comedy career that I'll never forget that I was sitting at my counter

and I got an email from my from my manager and he's like they've confirmed June 16th for the Tonight Show in your life I mean, I was bawling, dude I was just sitting there like And I think I think, I don't know

I don't think this, if I would have If I would have gotten that I wouldn't have meant as much Or wouldn't I was just, I like, you know, it's weird because I texted you about it, but I wrote a story in my book about I think I've told it in here

I don't remember when I got on TV for the first time I got on TV for the first time I was on live at Gotham on like Comedy Central like 15 10 years ago I'll never forget this I called my parents to like tell them and they go we don't have that channel and it was just I've told that story before it was just so devastating I was like they're gonna rent a projector put it up in the backyard invite the whole neighborhood have a huge I just just had in my mind that that was going to be what they did and they go we don't have that channel and it was devastating i've told that story before but i think now i would i mean i told you i told obviously i told my parents called my parents they were bawling called all everybody

that's important to me and i go i go if they if you if you didn't respond to that that's fine i would i hope because it's for you i didn't do it for any it wasn't for it wasn't for it wasn't attention on the internet everybody's like how much did it pay uh how many followers did you get from it is jimmy your best friend is uh are you going on to s and l or like all these i go i it was like i feel like god gave me this talent i worked really hard on this five minutes it was unbelievable and it exists forever and a lot of people were were and entertained by it, and I was proud just as somebody that was a basketball player or a welder or like, look at this new construction, look, we welded this whole thing. Look at that.

How much did you get paid? How did it? Well, did the welders of the year. You know what I'm saying? Like me and my guys built a building the beer for 100 years. We did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I learned how to do that. Look at that. I did that. And every time I drive by it, I'll be like, I did that. That's right. Every time I see Jimmy Fallon or it's a night show, I go, I don't know. Yeah.

Man, how did you get there? I want to get there. Wow. Well, I think. I mean, I told my, one of my buddies, he works at a church. And his wife is, like, terrified. of him, like, losing his job. What if we lose the job?

What about what are the kids going to do? What if, I'm sure you get calls like that all the time. And I secretly whisper to myself sometimes. I go, I wish you wouldn't lose it. Yeah. Because then it's all going to come undone. You're going to go work at Home Depot or whatever you guys say in here. What's the typical job that they say in here?

What does Dave tell people? Going to go deliver pizza. Yeah, yeah, whatever that. Yeah, I don't think they do that anymore. Robots do that now. Whatever. Somebody go tell him. We don't know who delivers pizzas anymore.

You're going to go deliver pizzas. It's all going to come undone. Maybe you're going to have to move back in with your parents. And then what's going to happen is you're going to find a new job, and then you're never going to be scared of that again. Everybody hears about supplements. Supplements at the grocery store, supplements on the Internet. We all hear about how important supplements are.

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over the country if he's coming to your town you got to put it on the calendar and go see him you will laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh and it's good for the soul but here's the thing that um that morning we we recorded the show we cut the show that night was my very first sold-out night performing on the main stage here at Zanies in Nashville, Tennessee. I spend a lot of time of Zanies. I love being around comics. I like being in the green room with those guys as they're practicing, making their jokes better,

telling the truth, razz in each other. A lot of people learning how to get really good at their craft. And I just love being around people who are trying to get better at the thing that they do. But John did me a huge favor. And he is a headliner all over the country, but he showed up as a surprise opener from a show and he laid the groundwork.

He just crushed. I'm recording this intro after he's gone. He crushed. And when you have a comedian that will go up first and just level the crowd with humor, then it really helps out the person who follows up. And so big personal shout out to John for coming up, unannounced. He sells out places all over the country and he's like,

yeah, I'll roll up for this. YouTuber guy and help him out. And man, for those in the audience, it made for a magic, magic night. So a big shout out to my friend. Go see him when he comes to your town. Love you guys. And I'll see you soon.