The Dr. John Delony Show - Mom Guilt, Grieving a Cancer Diagnosis, & the Nuances of Generosity

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that gives you real talk on life, relationships and mental health challenges. Through humor, grace and grit, John gives you the tools you need to cut through the chaos of anxiety, depression and disconnection. You can own your present and change your future—and it starts now. So send us your questions at johndelony.com/show or leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291. We want to talk to YOU! Show Notes for this Episode 4:31: New stay at home mom. We are trying to get out debt. I feel like I am failing family by not working. 13:56: My father was diagnosed with cancer. How do I process this? 26:10: My sister-in-law said they can’t afford to buy gift for everyone. Is it appropriate for us to buy for them?  36:33: Lyrics of the Day: "Buddy Holly" - Weezer tags: money, workplace/career, guilt, parenting, family, sickness/illness, grief, money, family, boundaries These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.

On today's show, we're going to talk to a wonderful young mom who's got three kids under three and who's just decided to stay home and she's trying to find a new identity. We're going to talk to a young man whose father was just diagnosed with cancer and he's coming to terms with the thought that he might lose his dad. And we're going to talk to a millionaire who's trying to navigate family dynamics and gift-giving during Christmas. Stay tuned.

Hey, what up, what up? This is John, and this is the Dr. John Deloney Show. It's a live show for you, about you, and by you, where we walk alongside one another trying to figure out the next crooked, wobbly step, learning how to be human beings again. And we talk about everything on this show, anything and everything, no matter what's going on in your heart, in your mind, in your family. I cannot even tell you how many millions of people are going through things just like you and how many millions of people across the country feel alone.

How many millions of people across the world feel so alone? I'm the only one who thinks like this. I'm the only one who is stuck in this situation, and you are not. We are all in this together. We're all working through similar challenges. And this show is for you. And on this show, I'm going to tell you the truth, man. I'm going to tell you the truth. We're going to get through these things together. We're going to figure out the next right step. And we're also going to highlight what's going right in the world. I got this email from Bessie Amaya in Massachusetts. She writes,

hello, Dr. Deloney. I wanted to send you something positive. Shout out, Bessie. She was not my elementary school teacher, but my high school anatomy and physiology teacher at South High Community School in Massachusetts. She made studying the body so interesting and exciting. I fell in love with the dynamics of the human body. That seed was always there. And when I changed my major from pharmacy to nursing, it just kept growing. Thanks to her implanting that seed, I'm now an emergency room nurse. Even though I'm obviously overwhelmed due to the current pandemic, I can truly say I love what I do. I went to a community college as a married adult with not just two kids, but one of

them was just one years old. Way to go, Bessie. I was also working part-time at a nursing home while in school. Furthermore, even though it's just a two-year associate's nursing degree, I've worked hard to get in a position where I make over 50 bucks an hour. To think, it all started with that seed that Dr. Laughlin planted. It's grown and will continue to grow to the tallest tree so much that I will be able to change my family tree forever. With my current jobs organization benefit of tuition reimbursement. I'm cash flowing my upcoming schooling to get my bachelor's degree in nursing. Shout out Dr. Laughlin. To every teacher out there listening to this, every community college professor, every teacher and professor who's trying to figure out

Zoom and in person and in person and Zoom and meeting on front porches so we can have human contact, but we can't be too close, and responding to emails, and responding to emails, and whatever it is you're trying to make work. Remember, you are planting seeds like the seed Dr. Laughlin planted with Bessie that will grow into new careers, new dreams, helping people, helping the least of these in the middle of a pandemic. You never know what difference you are making. Dr. Laughlin in Massachusetts, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for injecting joy and positivity into the world.

Keep doing what you're doing. Thank you, Bessie, for sending in the note. For everybody out there making a positive difference in your communities and in your homes and in your own hearts, in your own heads. Thank you. Give me a shout if I can help. Go to johndeloney.com slash show. Fill out the form and we will check it out.

We've got a team of people here reviewing the bajillions of requests that we get. We'll see if they work for the show and we will be in touch with you. Or you can give me a call and leave a voicemail. 1-844-693-3291. That's 1-844-693-3291. Let's go straight to the phones. Let's go to Hannah in Mikado, Minnesota. Hannah, how are we doing?

Good. How are you? So good. So good. All right. Walk me through what's going on. How can I help? So I'm a new stay at home mom. I just started staying home in March due to the pandemic and then just stayed home. Um, and we're just beginning our journey with the baby steps. Like we're just planning everything out and I'm kind of feeling like I'm failing my husband a little bit, not bringing in an income and helping break down our debt.

Gotcha. All right. So walk me through a few things. Number one, how long have y'all been married? It'll be five years in January. Five years. And how long did y'all date before that? About a year and a half before we got married. Okay. All right. So six and a half years, you've known this dude, right? Yeah. He's a good guy?'ve known this dude, right? Yeah. He's a good guy? Yeah, he's a really good guy. Did you hear how your voice changed?

It was like, I'm failing him. I'm terrible. Yeah, he's a really good guy. So good for you. Okay. So, and how many kids do you have? Three. Three.

How old are they? My oldest is two and a half, and then I have five-month-old twins. Oh, my. So you are in it, in it, in it, right? Yeah. Okay. And when did you decide to stop working in March? What was your career? What were you doing before then? I worked in a daycare. Okay. So you are all about taking care of little ones, huh? Yeah.

So we knew I was going to stay home when I had the twins. It just got pushed a little ahead because I was high risk to the pandemic and stuff. And because you were growing two humans at the same time? Yeah. And it's just, we couldn't make it work with daycare. Very cool. All right. So for those listening that don't know the baby steps, I work for Dave Ramsey, the get out of debt guy, the guy that preaches hope and financial security,

not being in debt, not being slave to the lender. And one of his programs is the baby step programs. And step one is to get a thousand dollar emergency fund so if you do have an emergency or more likely when you have an emergency you borrow money from yourself not from some credit card company or some bank that does not have your best interest in mind and they are trying to make a buck off your misfortune the second step is what he calls gazelle intensity pay off all of your debts, smallest to largest. So, Hannah, you find yourself with three kids, still a relatively new marriage. You've transitioned out of full-time work, and you're staying at home, and you're in baby step two.

How much debt are you guys trying to pay off? I think it's like $60,000. Okay. Somewhere around there. What's your husband do for a living? He works construction. Oh, so he's grinding it, huh? Yeah, he's gone before we wake up until sometimes the kids are in bed when he comes home. But he's making it happen. And it is not fun to work outside in construction in Minnesota, is it? No, it's cold. Wow, what a stud.

All right, so what's your household income? I think around 60 or 70. Okay. So that's all the context I need. Here's a couple of thoughts I want you to keep in your heart and mind over the next few months and few years. Okay? Getting out of debt is a really important goal. In fact, it's a critical goal.

It's one that transformed my family. It transformed the peace in my soul. It transformed my family tree. When my kids see credit card ads, they all boo. It's hilarious. So it's a good thing Right now You have two goals I want to put ahead of that

Goal number one Is your young marriage You've got a husband That is absolutely Kicking butt He's working hard Dark till dark Cold, cold, cold, minus temperatures, right? And you have three young kids, three tiny kids,

and that would be tough for any marriage in any situation. And then the second thing is I want you to focus on the goal of being present with those kids. And so we live in a culture where identity is based on achievement. And it used to just be boys were given that, but women have absorbed that too. You are only worth what you achieve. You are only worth what you make financially, what's in the checking account. And what we've got now is a generation of men and women who, if they take a pay cut, if they lose their job, if they make a decision, which I think is an honorable and noble decision

to leave the workforce and be present with three young children, right? Three kids under three. Yep. Then suddenly you look in the mirror and think, I'm not worth much. Or what am I actually contributing? Or I'm a drain on this family. And I need you to hear me say it as boldly as I can.

That's an absolute lie. You are a gift to your husband. You are a gift to those little kids. They need you fully present with them. And you are doing something much more valuable than earning a paycheck. And you are giving three young babies their mother's full focus. What a gift. And so transitioning out of this consumer mindset, this I'm only worth my paycheck mindset, is going to require you to grab hold of a new identity. And most of us, myself included, have not done the hard work to figure out who we are. I've been working on it for about a decade. I'm getting closer. My wife experienced this. She went from Dr. Deloney. She was a professor and a rock star. She was a teacher before that. And then she chose to stay at home.

And it was tough as she made that transition to who am I now, right? And every woman's got to go on that journey for themselves. Well, I strongly recommend that you surround yourself with women who are ahead of you in this journey, who are stay-at-home moms themselves, who have been there, who know the ups and downs. I also want you to surround yourself with women who are going to be really graceful with you because you've got three kids under three. In any circumstance, in any part of the world, in any stage, a hurricane has hit your house. It's a joyful one, but it's also one with lots of diapers,

lots of cha-cha, lots of mommy, mommy, mommy, lots of like your body is utilitarian right now. It's not even yours. And your husband is out grinding it and grinding it. And it's hard to say, hey, I need some of you too, because you know, you don't want to be an imposition on him. You've got to learn how to let your voice be heard in your home. But most importantly, you're going to have to craft, in some cases from the floor up, a new identity. And it might be the CEO of the home. It might be I run this place. He goes and earns a paycheck, but I'm making it happen. It might be I'm a full-time mom. It might be I'm a mom in this season, and then I'm going to go back and I'm going to own my own daycare center,

or I don't want to do that. But my kids are going to go to the daycare center where I work, whatever that happens to be. But your identity is somebody in addition to work. It's something that holds up work. We were made to work. We were made to love. Our identity is deep. Our identity is deeper than a paycheck, deeper than a job. So Hannah, on 20 different fronts, I salute you. I salute you for making the hard decision to stay at home. I'm proud of you for that. I salute you for being an absolute ninja, for taking care of three kids, not taking care of, for raising, loving three kids under three. I honor you for being a great wife And loving that rugged outdoor construction husband Who's out there working dark to dark

In sub-freezing temperatures I salute you for all of it So I want you to get some people in your corner And go craft an identity from the floor up And anytime it seeps into your mind I'm just a drain on this family Remember me saying that's a lie I don't know where that's coming from.

I don't know if it's from your mom, from your dad, from whatever social media accounts you follow, wherever that comes from, it's a lie. You're worth everything to that husband. You are worth everything to those kids, and you're worth everything to everyone listening to this show. I'm so grateful you're in the communities that my kids are going to be growing up in, Hannah.

And now it's time to go do the fun, hard, gut-riching work of finding out who you really are and who you're going to continue to grow and become. It's awesome, Hannah. It's awesome. All right, let's go to Dan in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Dan, the man, what's up? Hi, John. Thanks for taking my call. I'm really looking forward to talking with you. I'm a little nervous also. Hey, I'm nervous too, man. I get nervous all the time, so it's all good. So how can I help, brother?

So a couple weeks ago, my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. Oh, hold on, hold on. Stop, stop, stop. Can we just say that sucks? Yeah. Have you sat down and just looked in the mirror and looked in your own eyeballs and just said, this sucks? Yes, yes and no. It just seems like I'm taking the diagnosis a little harder than my dad is.

Growing up in a farming family, you were conditioned to not show your emotions. Did you say a fireman family? A farming family. Farming family. Okay. Farming family. Yep. And it just seems like, yeah, you weren't supposed to show your emotions. And now it just seems like it's all coming out for me and taking over my life, it seems like. Sure. So how old are you, man? So 28. 28. Are you married? You got kids? Yep. Well, just recently married, got married back in August. So no kids as of right now yet, but they're on their way or that's in the coming future. Very cool.

So tell me about your old man. So, yeah, he's 74 years old. He's one of those guys that everyone likes, a heart of gold, hard worker. Just an all-around good guy. That's awesome. He's a good dad to you? Yeah, yeah. We talk on the phone probably multiple times a day.

Y'all did before the diagnosis? What's that? Y'all talk that often before the diagnosis? Oh, yeah. Yeah. America, listen. Talk to your kids a couple of times a day. Talk to your kids a couple of times a week. Good for you, man.

Good for you and your dad. Yeah. So it doesn't seem like we're trying to make up for lost time. Sure. But it's all right. This is what we're facing and all right. What are we going to do to go forward? Um, yeah, this, yeah, the cancer diagnosis, it doesn't phase him at all. Um, even though that he knows that it's, it's on his liver and potentially throughout the rest of his body. Hey, let me tell you a secret about dads. It absolutely phases him.

It absolutely terrifies him. It absolutely breaks his heart. Okay? Don't for one second let that Iowa farmer, the guy that just puts on his car hearts and his overalls and gets back in the tractor every day, don't let that stoic face trick you. He's already thinking about how much he's going to miss you, how much he's going to miss his wife.

He's hoping he gets to see a grandkid. Trust me. It does faze him, okay? And the reason that's important for you to know is because right now you probably feel crazy, don't you? Mm-hmm. Because he's just plugging along as though it's another Wednesday, as though it's another Friday, as though it's another Sunday, and you just want to scream out, dude, you've got cancer, right? Is that fair? Yeah, yeah, no, that's fair.

So trust me when I tell you it phases him. Now, he may be a little more clinical about it. Farmers deal with death their whole lives, right? and so there is something somewhat poetic about it and beautiful about it and routine about it but it phases him okay so how are you feeling man all over the place um yeah all over the place it's so I also work off the farm as well. And it's, it's one of those things that's always on the front of your mind. Um, you can't Google the symptoms or Google, Google, um, liver cancer and, and see the prognosis. Um, and yeah, we're kind of, kind of all over the place, but, well, actually, right now he's having a biopsy. We're waiting to find out what kind of cancer it is. Did it start in the liver or did it move to the liver?

So we're just kind of all up in the air. And whether it's a really rough prognosis or whether it is a cheerful best-case scenario, your dad still loves you, and you still love your dad, right? Oh, absolutely. And whether you've got six months left with him or 16 years left with him, that won't change. What will change is whether you want to lean into those last few moments again, whether it's 16 years or six months, you want to lean into that time cautiously as though he's fragile, as though you don't want to say the wrong thing or hug too tightly or, or, or. What you have here, man, is something that very few people have anymore. And that is a ironclad, deep-rooted relationship between a father and a son.

Where they talk to one another. It's not imaginary. It's not pretend. You all do hard work together outside with your hands. And so make no mistake, when he passes away one day, which you will, it's going to be hard and it's going to be difficult. And he's also going to have raised you to be strong and resilient and heartbroken and strong and resilient and sad and all those things together again and again and over and over, right? Mm-hmm.

And so if you could say anything to your old man right now, he was sitting across from you and we taped his mouth shut. So he couldn't go, oh, oh, oh, oh. So he couldn't say anything. What would you tell him? Oh, I'd say, thank you for being there and being a good dad. I can think of few things in the world, few things in the world I'd rather hear

than my son look me in the eye and say, hey, you were a good dad. And he'd probably rip that tape off and say, I don't know what you're talking about. The worst stuff.

I still am a good dad, right? Yeah. Yeah. So here's what's coming for you. A lot of feelings, all of which are valid, not all of which are true okay okay you're gonna feel all kinds of things you're gonna range from frustrated that he's not gonna do his will the right way or he's gonna have some ideas about selling this tractor before whatever you're

gonna have all these kind of nuts and bolts things. They're going to drive you batty. Some of that will be because it's his and he can do what he wants. Some of that's just going to be because you're struggling with grief. You probably didn't get a great model for what grieving looks like. You probably didn't get a great model for what vulnerability and feelings look like. And so I want you to lean heavily into your new marriage. And I want you to tonight tell your wife, I'm going to start practicing something I've never done before. And that is, I'm going to tell you how I feel. And it's not always true and it's not always

correct, but I'm just going to practice doing this. And she'll say, okay, great. And then it's going to be weird for both of you because she married an Iowa farmer knowing what she got, right? And so you're changing the game for everybody, right? But something you could give to your children, something you could give to your wife is something that few of us know how to do, which is be vulnerable and be honest. Sit in our feelings, but don't bathe in them, right? They don't become us. But we experience them, and then we move on,

because they lie to us and aren't always truthful. And then you can go be fully present with your dad, not speaking of him in the past tense, but sitting right there with him when he gets whatever diagnosis he's going to get. Yeah. Right. Is your mom still around?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mom's still around. And luckily, mom just retired back in beginning of October. So she can go through this, this entire process with him. Um, and it's a little different with, with COVID because you can't, can't go and see him, um, because you don't want him to be battling, be battling two fronts. That's right. So I want you to make a plan

for this weekend. And I want you to write your dad a letter that tells him what he's meant to you. And I want this to be before the diagnosis comes out. And that way, you're not writing him a goodbye letter. You're not writing him a praise God letter. You're just writing him a letter between father and son. It just says, thank you so much for being my dad.

You did a great job. And here's the thing. Over the next few months, regardless of what happens, that letter is going to turn into gold for him. He'll go back to it. He'll go back to it. He'll go back to it. And then as the weeks and months progress, I want you to be direct with him. How are you feeling today?

How's the chemotherapy going? How's my old man doing? Are you scared? I'm scared. Hey, new wife, I woke up today and I was scared for my dad. I was scared about the future of the farm. Can we just hug for a minute? I was scared for my dad. I was scared about the future of the farm. Can we just hug for a minute?

And I want you to start making a list of things. Maybe ask your dad, hey, what are some things you did intentionally with me that I can pass on to my young son, to my young daughter? And let your dad verbalize. Let him teach you. We all love being the one who gives advice and gives wisdom feels good people call you and ask you but cherish every moment let no hug go unhugged let no words go unsaid you were given one of the greatest gifts a person could ever get which is a lovely present father good Good for you. What a blessing. We'll be thinking about you during this time. I do want you to shoot me a note back

about what the diagnosis is, what the prognosis is, and then keep checking back in with us, and we'll continue to tell your story on the air because you're a gift, Dan. Your dad's a gift, and we want to honor him in these upcoming months and hopefully upcoming years. Thank you so much for the call. All right, let's take one more. Let's go to Jeremy in Atlanta, Georgia. Jeremy, what's up, brother? Hey, Dr. G. Thanks for taking my call. I'm a big fan of you and the whole Ramsey team. Thank you so much, man. How can I help today?

Well, I heard you answer a boundaries question the other day, and I wanted your take on our situation. My wife and I got an email from my brother's wife in February saying that they were not able to buy Christmas gifts this year, and they'd like not to receive any from the rest of the family as well because of that. And my wife and I are in a position to bless them, and we'd like to do that. Is it inappropriate of us to go and get them gifts? I think it would be inappropriate to do that, just up and do it. Sure. inappropriate to do that just up and do it. If I was in your

situation, I would respond to that email and say, thank you so much for letting us know about your situation. It's been a hard year. We're praying for you. Let us know we can help. That honors your sister-in-law, right? Your brother's wife.

And then I'd call my brother and say, look, brother to brother, here's the situation I'm in. I would love to bless you guys this year. No strings attached, no special this's and that's. I just had a good year. And honor him in that way. If you think he can hear it, If you think he can hear it. Do you think he can hear it? Or is he going to roll his eyes and be like,

there's my brother trying to get in my junk again? You know what I mean? I think my brother would hear it, but his wife maybe would have a different, so he might agree to it, and then later she would regret that he did. That's between her and him, not you. Okay.

Do you have a relationship with her? Do you all have a good relationship? Well, it's been strained over the years. As we've had kids and they were not able to. It's been up and down. She's opted out of some family gatherings when we've gotten together. Sure. So the hard thing for you is she's allowed to do that because she's a grown-up,

and you're a grown-up, and so I wouldn't take it personally. You've had a lot of wins. You've had kids. You're a millionaire. They haven't. They've had different financial situations. They have not been able to have kids. There's all kinds of dynamics at play here, right?

Right. So when it comes down to it, honor her wishes, man. I do think it's worth calling your brother. I do think it's worth leaning into him and saying, hey, man, how can I help? And it's his responsibility to manage his relationship with his wife. If he thinks that's going to get them two in trouble and all that, great.

I also think this is a great year to not do Christmas presents as a family, to buy each other one CD of your favorite music, to buy each other one book that's impacted you in the past year, to buy each other one hilarious coffee mug or one hilarious shirt. The temptation this year is going to be to spend your the kids' lost graduations and lost school events and lost Little League seasons and lost business opportunities by trying to buy people happiness back. And good folks, it does not work like that. Now, Jeremy, you're in a different situation, man.

You're a millionaire. For those of you who don't know, I work for Dave Ramsey. Baby Step 7 is the pinnacle. That's when you can live like no one else and, more importantly, give like no one else. You can give obnoxiously, generously, somewhat recklessly. But sometimes your gift is somebody else's burden sometimes somebody else doesn't want that gift and if she drew a boundary you got to respect it that's the honorable thing to do even if you think you know better than that boundary

so call your brother lean into that but good, every year this same thing happens. Christmas just up and surprises us. It surprises us emotionally. It surprises us financially. It surprises us spiritually. Right? So here's a couple of things I think. I think that every year, I don't know, for a thousand years, a couple thousand years, again, I'm making that up.

There's going to be some calendar expert who's going to write into the show, go for it. It's going to make you feel good, and I'll learn something. So I say write in, write in with vigor. It's probably in Wikipedia, for crying out loud. But Christmas is on December 25th. It just is. In the United States, Christmas is on December 25th, same time every year. And so it shouldn't surprise you. It shouldn't sneak up on you and blow your mind. You can save $100 a year. I mean, I'm sorry, $100 a month and have $1,200 to spend at Christmas. You can spend $50,

or you can save $50 a month over the course of a year and have $600 to spend on Christmas, whatever it looks like. It doesn't sneak up on you. When it comes to the emotional side, the relational IQ side, who are you going to buy presents for? Where are you going to go? What year is it to go to which family? In this season of a pandemic, can we travel to somebody's house where they're going to have different government restrictions or somebody else who's going to be high risk or do I work in a job where I might have COVID and take it to people.

All those things are conversations you should be having right now, today. Today. And if there was every year to do something different, this is the one. If there's every year to say, you know what, we just keep upping the ante with how many Christmas presents we buy. We keep upping the ante for how extravagant Christmas gets. Done. Stop.

This is the year of the reset. This is the year when we say, you know what, kids, we're each going to get each other two things, three things, and then we're going to go for a long christmas walk we're going to all cook together we're going to do things not related to an xbox not related to a screen we're going to just be together we're going to figure out how to play games my kids this morning and last night but this morning when I woke up I woke up to the sounds of them

Jabbing at each other and cheering And talking trash They've taken that old school game Clue Which a game they don't have any idea how to play And created a new kid game version That really doesn't make a lot of sense It's like playing with drunk college kids It's not a lot of

Rational thought But the idea is awesome And we sat down for a game it's like playing with drunk college kids. It's not a lot of like rational thought, but the idea is awesome. And we sat down for a game and it's all great and good. And when everybody loses to the four-year-old, it's hilarious. But man, they are making memories. They are using creativity

and they're having a lot of fun. And they have developed some sort of weird game where the rope beats the pipe and the pipe beats the whatever, the candlestick, and so on and so forth. And now my four-year-old is like the power-hungry mogul in the house right now. But all I have to say, decide to have experiences. Decide to have engagement with one another. Decide to look each other in the eye. And I also believe this with all of my heart.

If you know I'm going to visit Uncle Eddie, you know we're going to visit Grandma and Grandpa. And this is just who they are. They are loud. They always get us crappy food. They get frustrated with us. They never like the gifts we buy. And you choose to still go.

You forfeit the right to throw a fit when you're there. Because you knew if you get there and suddenly you're like, oh, my parents are just doing this again. You knew, you knew. And so at that point you are choosing to feel bad. You're choosing, you're making a stone cold decision to have a less than experience. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Go into it and make the best of it. Go into it with a smile. Go into it like Jeremy just wants to bless people. Good for you, man. If it's not going to be your brother and your wife, so be it. Find other people to bless I know you will because that's your heart And if somebody wants to bless you

And you've had a really humble Crappy year Let them bless you This isn't the year for egos This isn't the year for being right This is the year for saying thank you I'm grateful for you man I'm really grateful for you

Christmas will be here on December 25th. Prepare for it now. Financially, spiritually, emotionally. What does the Christmas season mean to you? Just because they changed the color of a coffee cup is not a political statement, everybody. Everybody relax. Let's make Christmas peaceful. Let's make Christmas joyful. Let's make Christmas peaceful Let's make Christmas joyful Let's make the holiday season one that we want to look forward to And not drama and stress We're done with drama and stress

We've had enough So now I can talk all day About gift buying and boundaries And Christmas It's my favorite time of the year It's when all the leaves are off the trees, everything is stark and bare, and the world slows down, and we just all have a little peace. All right, so as we wrap up today's show, we're here to the song of the day.

One of the greatest songs ever written by a really awesome band. They are highly, highly, highly underrated. They're incredible. Off their 1994 self-titled album, otherwise known as the Blue Album. One of my favorite bands of all time, Weezer, with their greatest song ever. That's actually not true. They've got a lot of great songs. This is one of their greatest songs. It's called Buddy Holly. And they write, What's with these homies dissing my girl? Why do they got a front?

What did we ever do to these guys that made them so violent? Woohoo. But you know I'm yours. Woohoo. And I know you're mine. Woohoo. And that's for all of time. Oo-wee-oo. I look just like Buddy Holly.

I look just like Buddy Holly. And you're Mary Tyler Moore. I don't care what they say about us anyway. And I don't care about that. I don't even know what this song means, but it's incredible. This has been the Dr. John Deloney Show.