The Dr. John Delony Show - My Husband Says He Needs Sex Everyday (I’m Exhausted)

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

On today’s episode, we hear about: ·      A wife struggling to come to an agreement with her husband about their sex life ·      A husband frustrated that his wife doesn’t contribute financially ·      A woman trying to find friends in her same stage of life Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test  📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future  ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards  💭 John's Free Guided Meditation  🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at Bon Charge. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth.  🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi.  💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne.  🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights   🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can my husband and I resolve our conflict over sex frequency with our busy life? We were arguing about this issue, right? And my husband was like, just call Dr. John. He has to grow. I'm not going to swear on the show. He's got to grow up. What in the world is going on? This is Jon with the Dr. Jon Delaney show, taking calls from real people from all over the planet. We're trying to figure out what's the next

right move in their relationships and their mental and emotional health with their kids, with their marriages, wherever people find themselves, that's what this show's about. For two decades, I've been sitting with hurting people. I've got two PhDs. I've been doing this academically and more importantly, I've been doing it with real people

for years and years and years. People who I think mostly are trying to do the best they can with the tools they got, and they have found themselves in a messy messy situation And they just want to know hey will you listen will you sit with me? We help me figure out what to do next that's what this show is all about If you want to join me on this show I'd love to have you 1-844-693-3291 if you want to call and leave a voice message and the

Kelly and her overlords will go through the calls and that's actually Kelly and Taylor. I just, I don't know. Y'all sound like overlords, but call into the show, leave a message and they will give you a buzz back if they want to have you on the show or go to johndeloney.com slash ask. And yes, we do take calls from all over the planet,

all kinds of different countries, people writing in and calling in and being on the show. I'd love to have all of you. So thank you so, so, so, so, so much. All right. Let's go out to my hometown, H-town and talk to B-R-double-E. What's up, Bree? Hi, John.

How are you? I'm a mess this morning. How are you? I'm doing all right. I'm doing all right. So I'm feeling a little nervous, honestly. I didn't think I would feel all right. I'm doing all right. So I'm feeling a little nervous. Honestly, I didn't think I would feel that way. I Hear that a lot from people in real life. So I

think it's just I think I'm a bit of a like a Chaotic ball of chaos and it makes people feel like ah, so sorry about that. It's me. Yeah No, I think it's both of us. All right, good, it's all you. It's all you, Bray. What's up, how can I help? I'll take it, I'll take it. So my question is, how can my husband and I

resolve our conflict over sex frequency with our busy life? Tell me about your busy life. with our busy life. Tell me about your busy life. Okay, so I have a two and a three year old. You don't have a busy life. You have a bomb that went off in your living room. A constant bomb, a constant bomb. I mean, it's a beautiful bomb, but.

But it's still a bomb. It's still a bomb and obviously we're. All right, you have three and a two year old. Do you work? Yes, I'm a first grade teacher. Oh, God almighty. So, golly, dude. Wow. That's a lot of little humans in your life, isn't it? It's a lot of little people, yeah.

And it's wonderful. And my husband's wonderful. So it's not like, it's not necessarily a quote relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue.

It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not necessarily a relationship issue. It's not it's not like, it's not necessarily a quote relationship issue necessarily. It's just a, it's a time and I guess like a time management thing and a, I'm overwhelmed, touched out, feelings out.

I don't even know how to express it. And I want my husband, but there's moments that I don't want anything, if that makes any sense. Hey, Brie, do me a huge favor. Will you stop apologizing for reality? There's not something wrong with you. Yeah. There's just not.

Like for real, like you, I can tell by the questions you're asking and the way you're phrasing these statements that you are trying to get to the root of how you have screwed this whole thing up. Yeah. And you do, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but you do have a relationship issue Probably a pretty significant one. Tell me tell me about the sex conflict Well We we listen to you a lot. So to be perfectly frank

so this me even calling into you it it all stemmed from, we were arguing about this issue, right? And my husband was like, just call Dr. John. And he was joking, right? And so what I did is what I called you, right? And I told him, I said, hey, I'm going to talk to Dr. John. And he's like, are you serious? I'm like, yes, I am. And so here we are. Here we are. Here we are, yeah. And so we've tried the whole scheduling it out

and he doesn't like that because it feels inorganic and it's not sexy or anything, right? He feels guilty when he tries to initiate it because he knows that I'm tired or that he doesn't want to get rejected, okay? There's times that maybe I want sex, but I don't want it to be a wham-bam, thank you ma'am type of situation. I want love, you know? Yeah, totally.

But then there's also times where I'm like, hey, it's got to be quick. I'm tired because I want to please him. So we can't come to this solution. I mean, the poor man, I mean, he wants it every day. Yeah. And I tell him like, in this season that we're in, I don't have the capacity to give that. Yeah.

What is shock you? And I feel wrong for saying that. You gotta let that go. I mean, so sex is the gas gauge here it's not the problem. This isn't about like about sexual appetite or the the phrase I don't like sex drive like a mismatch sex drive that's not the challenge here. Yes, it practically speaking it is, but there's some root issues here that we got to get to the get to. Otherwise, it's going to you're going to keep having all these wars out on the fringes and not ever get to the actual solution. Here's a couple of just

high level things. And I'm going to speak in broad generalities. This may not apply to you too, but I'm willing to bet it does. But I know this doesn't apply to every couple. Okay. Often men find the status of their relationship, the barometer of how we're doing to be vulnerable, to be close, to speak socially, to say, here's how I feel, here's what I want, here's me, that'll get a man killed in the workplace.

So the whole game for men is to shut your mouth and just go do your work. And the only way they can feel connection is shoulder to shoulder doing a hard thing or sex. It has to be physical, has to be with your body. And then conversely, for all of human history, sex could get a woman pregnant, which might get her killed, right? Cause the birth rates or the death in childbirth was so high for so many millions of years.

And so there's this built in, I have to know you're okay before literally I let you in my body. And you see there just becomes a dance. And you throw two kids on there. And the reality that is two kids, which is they take up a lot of caretaking. Like you said, your body's a human jungle gym right now.

Right? And there's only so much diarrhea and throw up and oh my gosh, and parent emails and administrative emails and then get home and your own kids are maniacs and they have meals and snacks and that when you know that this guy in my house has a need, it just gets put on a chore sheet. Yeah. Right? And when he says, I need this and it gets put on a chore sheet. Yeah. Right? And when he says, I need this and it gets put on a chore

sheet, but below all of that, he's asking his wife in his new role, Hey, I'm not the center of your world anymore, do you still love me? Am I still here? And you are saying, Hey man, I have a lot of jobs every day. I want to be wanted. I want to be seen and known and loved all the way. Meaning some days you just got to go to bed.

And then some days, yes dude, I just want to disappear into like an erotic evening. And yes, if you're just using me to get off so you can go to sleep, I don't want to be a part of that. Do you get what I'm saying? There's a deeper thing here. And I don't think y'all have reconciled the fact that your old marriage is so totally over. And that can be an awesome thing.

But you have to do the work of saying, okay, what is it now? I don't hear a guy asking for tons and tons of sex. I hear a guy asking, do you still love me? Well, yeah, I mean, even just yesterday, while I'm making dinner, he just looks at me and he tells me, I miss you. That's it.

You know, it's. That's it. It's, and then it's the mom guilt of like, okay, yeah, I miss you too, but I Only have this part of my kids for so long and then they grow up, you know Well, and that's scarcity thinking it's real but it's also scarcity thinking But that again you've got two people tugging at two different ends of the spectrum here and Sex just becomes the gas gauge for whether we're succeeding or not.

And so the deeper question is, how can he find some sort of security? Let me think of it, let's say it this way. It's like y'all are at the beach in Galveston there, an hour from Houston, and the water's three feet deep and he thinks he's drowning. And he's just screaming at you, throw me a raft, throw me a raft, throw me a raft. And you're like, dude, I don't have enough arms and legs.

And really it's like, dude, just stand up. She loves you. It just looks different now. And by the way, she still wants you. It just looks different now. And how do I say that? How do you, How do you? Well, it takes both of you having a pretty high level of emotional intelligence and being able to say in this three month span, because by the way, a three year old and a two year

old, they change so much. Your marriage changes every three to six months when they're that young. Right? You're about to cross a magic threshold where both of your kids can go to the bathroom by themselves. Oh yeah, one of them has already and it's great. You'll feel like, yeah, you'll feel like you got like half your life back.

And then just wait in a year and a half, maybe not with the three, with the two year old, two years from now, they'll both be able to go to bed. They'll be able to get in the shower themselves. Can you imagine? Right? Foreign concepts. Exactly.

Exactly. And so it's all about it's winter right now. And so you've got to wear coats. And he's over there going, well, I know she wants me when she dresses sexy. And you're like, yeah, it's freezing right now. I got to put a coat on. And then you feel guilty. And then he feels rejected.

So here's a couple of big pictures, big picture rocks. Number one, he has to grow. I'm not gonna swear on the show. He's got to grow up. You saying I'm exhausted is not some sort of existential rejection. Because I know that he reaches out to his buddies to play golf and or go fishing or

whatever and they go, hey, I can't this weekend. And he doesn't sit in his house and go, what's happening to our friendship? Why don't they like he doesn't do that. And so he can choose to believe you when you say, dude, I love you so much. I'm out of gas. And then he can go, okay, cool. How do I then honor and love my wife tonight? Can I add something and maybe you can help me there?

Absolutely. He doesn't have friends. And so you are holding the entirety of his universe and you can't carry that. No one can. No one can. He doesn't have family. Then he's got work to do to go make friends. He's got work to do to go hang out.

A buddy texted me yesterday and said, Hey, I have an extra ticket to go. I live right by the comedy club here and Theo Vonn's doing a pop-up show. Hey, you want to run over there and see Theo again? Sure. I'd love to run over there. It would be my wife's evening, her singular evening would be easier if I stayed home that night. Her life will be better if I go catch up with Theo, if I go make laugh and I go roll my eyes and I'm like, ooh, that was too far.

Right? And then I come home after hanging out with my buddies for a night. You get what I'm saying? Like it's the work you have to do. But it's so hard, like being his age or I guess you can say our age. It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare. How old are you?

I'm 37. He's 45. Yeah, it's a nightmare. So the question you'll have to ask yourself is what things other than intercourse, what things give him purpose inside his own home? And that's a question I'll always put back on new moms, is your husband suddenly living in a failure factory?

Where he doesn't know how the house works. And when he does try to wash the bottles, like you're not doing that right, or the diaper has to go like this. And then I need this, if he has understood over the last three years, I don't know what I'm doing here. Then you get the implicit message or the explicit message. I don't, the best thing I can do for my family is to back up. And I'm not saying

that's your family. I just hear that a lot. He's a freaking rock star at home. Like he like, he does, I have to tell him to not do, you know what I mean? Like I have to tell, I have to force him to sit down. I don't know. Let me ask a deeper question. What about you? Do you feel like you live in a failure factory? Oh man. Yeah, I guess so. Tell me about it.

I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I guess I just. Just start, let's start, just start vomiting for a second. Start rattling it off. Where do you think you're failing? I feel like I'm failing him because this seems to be such an important part of his universe, you know?

I feel like there's not peace in my extended family and I feel like I'm the peacemaker for everywhere and I'm not able to make that happen. But that's a whole nother can of worms. Yeah, but it's not. Because you trying to keep him happy is killing you and He doesn't know how to how to reach out and save you and so the only connection tool He has is more sex and more sex and more sex and more sex And he doesn't have a group of guys to help carry his burdens which every man needs a tribe and

so you got to carry that too and If you're like most women your age, you've been carrying your parents' crap, your brothers and sisters' crap, your cousins' junk, I mean for years, right? Yeah. There just gets to be a moment where it's too much. The strangest thing I can tell you is the greatest gift

you could give him and your kids is for you to say out loud and begin to enact in practice with his support and love, what do you need to be well? And when I, I don't do a good enough job on the show describing, when I say your marriage is over, like who y'all once were no longer exists. And it can be fun to reminisce, it can be even nostalgic to think back

to the times y'all could just make out whenever you wanted to. And you could get up on a table and dance and he could come home and be like, it's a, and it would, like, those times were so fun and great. And it's just different now. Yeah.

And there's still, there's still windows of time. There's still pockets of those things that emerge in fun. It's just different now. And so when I say rebuild your marriage, this is when you ask, do I still want to be a first grade teacher? Financially, can we do that? This is when you ask,

how do I want to feel when I come in my house every day? Not what jobs need to be done, but how do I want to feel? And then let's reverse engineer that. I remember one time I sent a group of employees over. We were doing service projects and a buddy of mine was having a kid and I sent the team over and we just annihilated his yard. We made it look perfect.

And he was so grateful, but he said, dude, that's my one thing. Like that is when the house is chaotic, when I need some time just to think, I put on my headphones and I go mo for a couple hours. And I was like, oh man, I took your thing, right? So maybe, and this is gonna sound counterintuitive, maybe the greatest gift for you is 30 minutes

just doing the dishes with headphones on. And your husband comes home and he's taking that from you. But I don't know you've ever stopped and said, what do I actually want? Because when you ask that question, then you can give him a map to how do I, how do I love you? But I feel so guilty asking because he's already doing so much. I know, but you have to get over that. You can choose guilt or you can downstream choose resentment and you're going to start hating him and that's not fair to him. He doesn't sound like a bad guy, right? No.

And so you have to say, here's what I want. And I'm telling you right now, he's going to, yes, he's going to have to grow up and put on his big boy undies and stop having his feelings hurt every time you can't meet every need of his. And also you're going to start telling the truth inside your own house. It's both and.

And sex is just not going to be as often right now. You have a two and a three year old. It just is not. And if you have a particular kind of sex you would like to have, he's got to just flat get over the fact that the old marriage counseling trope is you can put on the calendar or you cannot have it. That's your choices. That's it.

And is it Hollywood? Nope. And Hollywood's your choices. That's it. And is it Hollywood? Nope. And Hollywood's a lie. It's all a lie. It's testosterone and ozempic and makeup and lighting. It's not real. Right? Somebody else writes the words that come out of their mouths. It's not real. And so you can have sex. You can have sex two, three, four times a week. It's got, we got to schedule it so that you can wrap your head around. I'm going to get to drop my shoulders and maybe I'll set up a thread like, hey, here's the kind of sex I'd like tonight.

Or he can be honest. It's like, is it awful of me that like, you know, say it's scheduled, right? And I get home and I'm like, it's on the calendar or whatever. And then I get home, I'm like, you know what? I changed my mind. It was a really bad day. Is that awful?

No, no, no. It's the same as, hey, we put a date on the calendar and then one of you gets rocket diarrhea and we're having the date. It doesn't make anybody an ass. The only person who's an ass here is the one who throws a temper tantrum like a child and doesn't see their spouse, either him or you, as a human being who's trying to hold it all together. But both of y'all are leading feelings first

and your kids, your marriage, both of you need to stop leading feelings first and to start doing the next right thing. And for you, that's telling the truth. And for him, it's asking, how can I love you today? Not, are we banging today? I hear you say that all the time. And I'm like, that's a good idea and we've never done that. Try it for 30 days because here's the thing I think deep down A it's

awesome to have a 45 year old husband that still desires you like mad is that fair? Oh my gosh yes. And hold on and you can feel the desperation sometimes, can't you? And that's a guy hanging on, do I still have a purpose here in this house now that there's two kids, now that you're so busy? And I promise you, I'd be willing to bet money in his head, he's asking himself or has asked himself why you're grading papers or responding to parent emails

at eight o'clock at night. Why does she love them more than me? Right? And everything becomes egocentric when you're drowning. Is that fair? Yeah. Can I tell you this? You're not failing.

You're doing a really good job. Thank you. You don't believe me, do you? I'm trying to convince myself. No, don't do that. Don't try to convince yourself because you'll go mad. I want you to do this. I want you to write down today, will you do this one homework assignment for me?

I want you to write down 10 things that you are really good at as a wife, as a mom, as a teacher. I don't want you to exhale on them and drop your shoulders and look at them. And then I want you to write out five or 10 things that you think you're not good at. And then tonight, and probably one of the most intimate exchanges you'll have had since your kids were born, I want you to read both of those to him. And I want you to ask him to write the same things, 10 things he's good at a husband,

10 things he's not good at a husband. And I want you all together to challenge those negative stories. And that's the way you can lift each other up instead of just piling more dirt on each other. And from there, you got to commit to asking each other for the next 60 days, how can I love you today? And it might be, he says, you got to put the computer away. And you're going to have to exhale and say, okay, I'm going to have to respond to those

parent emails tomorrow. Or he might say, it's time to get a nanny. Or you might say, I don't want to teach anymore. Or you might say, I want to put these kids in daycare and I know I'm going to feel guilty. Or I want to stay at home and I know I'm going to feel guilty. And I'm going to feel guilty. Then I'm going to go do the next right thing for me

and for my husband and for my family. Because I've been feeling guilty my whole freaking life. I'm tired of it. I'm going to set guilt down. Unless it's called for, of it. I'm going to set guilt down, unless it's called for, of course. And then husband, listen in, man, the fact that you are trying to honor your wife and you're, you're doing so much, she tells you to stop. Kudos to you, brother.

Kudos to you. For the husbands out there who have no other connectivity other than sex to say, I'm still alive, I'm still a person, I still have excitement, I still have value. The work you have to do is not to outsource that to other women and so that's nonsense, but you have to find purpose in your home outside of sex. You have to find purpose in your marriage

outside of just release. You've got to find friends to go hang out with and have a beer with or laugh with or exercise with or go fishing with or something and it sucks in your mid-40s. I'm there, I know. And you've got to do it anyway. Because neither of you can bear the weight of each other's entire world. Thanks for the call, Bree. And for everybody out there,

sex on the calendar is still sex. You can put it on the calendar or you can not have it. We'll be right back. All right, let's talk about Delete Me, my go-to provider for online safety, security, and peace of mind. Please don't skip past this. Listen, we all live on the internet these days, and I wish this wasn't the case, but

it doesn't matter what I wish. It's just happening. Everything in my life and everything in your life takes place over the internet. Our work, our personal messages and communications, we buy most of our things on the internet now. It's where so much of our lives exist. And because so much of our lives exist there now, it's just become weirdly normal to just give away our email address to random strangers, just give away our cell phone numbers to random companies who then turn around

and sell our information to other companies. This is why I'm happy to use and recommend Delete Me. I looked at my reports from my friends at Delete Me. It's madness. They've reviewed over 35,000 different data brokers with my personal information, and they've removed my personal info from hundreds of scammy data broker sites. Delete Me has saved me countless hours, days even, by removing all of this nonsense for me,

and they've sent detailed reports that show me exactly what they've removed and from where. I want you to have this kind of peace too. We can't really avoid the internet, me exactly what they've removed and from where. I want you to have this kind of peace too. We can't really avoid the internet, but we can help make our personal data personal again with DeleteMe. Get protected with DeleteMe today and get 20% off all DeleteMe plans. This comes out to less than $9 a month.

Go to joindeleteeme.com slash deloney to check them out. That's J-O-I-N, Join, Delete Me, dot com, slash, Deloney. All right, let's talk about Hallow, the number one prayer and meditation app in the world. It's officially Lent, which are the 40 days leading up to Good Friday and Easter. In Lent is when Christians all over the world commit to a season of fasting from all sorts of things, and they commit themselves to reconnection and remembering, prayer, and meditation. Right now, Hallow has a challenge going on called The Way.

It's meant to reflect living the way of Jesus, and that means doing hard things that lead to peace, joy, and healing. Throughout The Way, you'll get to hear some incredible stories from people like Jonathan Rumi of The Chosen, Chris Pratt, and Mark Wahlberg, and you'll be invited to participate in experiencing life change yourself. Plus, you can check out HALO's Lent Challenge for Kids. It's called The Little Way.

It's a fun, meaningful adventure for the whole family, as y'all will follow along with two kids learning to live out gratitude every day. And this is just a tiny bit of what HALO offers. HALO has a huge catalog of music, guided prayers, meditations, and more. And when you sign up at Hallow.com slash Deloney, you'll get three months for free.

So you're covered all through Lent and beyond. Go check out Hallow at Hallow.com slash Deloney for three months for free. All right, we are back. Hey, if you love this show, I'm taking it on the road and I'm bringing my friend. Actually, he's bringing me. I'm me and my friend, Dave Ramsey. You're going on the road and we're taking our shows live.

We're going to be doing question and answers talking about, um, like money relationships, um, everything in between. And it's going to be unfiltered and unapologetic and dude, if you wonder what gets edited out of this show, it's a lot. The guy who edits is just nodding right there. Um, there's going to be no filter on this one, so we're going to let it rip. And for those of you who don't know, I also co-host another

show, the Ramsey show. It's been in existence for 30 years, um, helping people get out of debt and get their finances squared away. We're bringing both of us. We're doing these shows. We're gonna mix match them together. We're doing the shows live and I cannot wait. We're gonna be in Louisville on April 21st,

Durham, April 23rd, Atlanta, April 25th, Phoenix, May 5th, Fort Worth, May 7th, and Kansas City, May 9th. You're gonna learn something, you're gonna laugh, maybe a tear or two, and dude, it's just gonna be a great, great night. These shows, live. Come check us out.

And don't forget to subscribe and hit the like button. For real, it makes a massive, massive difference. Let's go out to Van Horn, Texas, and talk to Corvin with a K. What's up, Corvin? Hey, John, thanks for taking my call. You got it homie, what's up? So my question here is, how can I get my wife to contribute financially and see the importance

of working together as a team in that regard? Oh man, you're close to the edge aren't you? I'm at it. You're at it. I'm ready. Yeah. Do me a huge favor. Yeah I know. I'm listening. I know. Do me a huge favor. Take a huge deep breath and hold it. Three, two, exhale it out. And I want you to pull your shoulders all the way to the floor. Okay. Exhale for a second. I can hear it, man. Tell me about the last few years.

Yeah, it's, uh, it's been, it's been wild. I mean, we've been together for about six years now and, um, the first five years she, she didn't work right. Um, mind you, she's fully capable, no limitations. She doesn't have any restrictions to be able to work. She's, she's capable and she, she's bright too. She's, um, you know, she's, she's pretty sharp. Um, and around year two, I recognize that, you know, we got to work together financially. Part of our relationship is not just the commitment and the loyalty.

I mean, finance is part of our livelihood. We got to work together. So somewhere around year two, I told her, you got to start working on something, whether you want to start a new career or start a new education process, something. And for the three or four years thereafter, it was just excuses as to why I couldn't, why I can't do it because of this, I can't do it because of that. And about six months ago, I roughly just kind of threw in the towel, just emotionally. I was like, you know what? I mean, I can't, I can't argue with this about you anymore. I can't, I try to be nice. I try to be rude.

I try to, different ways, like, I'm gonna change our phone plan to a more cheaper plan and maybe you'll get the message that way. Just nothing, nothing really processed through to her. And so now our relationship, I mean, we don't argue anymore, which is a good thing, but I think it's...

No, bro, you gave up. Yeah, you're out. Yeah. I mean, our relationship is stale, very neutral. Yeah, what's beneath this, man? I remember the old football coach telling me, I was just getting yelled at and yelled at and yelled at and yelled at, and this is back in the day when football coaches could yell.

They didn't have to hug everybody and just let me have it. And he caught a glimpse of my face and he came real close and is a guy that I still hold in high, high respect. And he said, hey, it's when I stop getting onto you because I can see, I see you can be better that you can do more than you think you can. It's when I quit staying on you, that's when you know I'm out.

That's when you know I've given up on you and I remember that like, okay, cool. And so I can hear you've given up and I can hear it's anger so close to the top. Are y'all broke? Are you struggling financially? No, we're doing okay. I mean, we're covering all of our bills. What's the deeper thing? I don't think this is about money. I think it's I mean, we're covering all of our bills. What's the deeper thing? I don't think this is about money. I think it's, is your house a mess?

Is she just not doing anything? Let me ask you this way. Is she a woman you no longer respect? I think it's getting there. I think you're there. I think so. I'm not hating on you. Yeah, that would be fair.

If you have a person who just is no interest in building something with her husband, like no interest in building a life together, but who just puts the car in park and just sits in the driveway, I'm not hating on you. I want you to hear the futility of what you've tried, the way you've tried to do it. Cause you do what most of us do. You went through the ends of the earth, all the tools in your toolkit.

You've been trying, right? I have to do everything but the kitchen sink. Yeah, don't do that cause you'll go to jail. So the bigger question is why has she, I guess she never even opted into this deal. Yeah, I mean, it's funny too. Cause when I was talking to her dad about a blessing for us to get married, he looked me right in the eyes and he says, you know, she needs

a lot of support, right? And I didn't, I mean, I understood what he meant to an extent, but I didn't know that he meant this. And for her, I think it's just always the expectation that somebody else is supposed to take care of my finances. And then, you know, it took me this many years to realize that she meant that like you take care of it and I just feel like I feel abandoned yeah you know but this besides finances where else is she is she not with you no besides that I mean the place is clean we're not struggling financially I do well enough to take care of us but the thing is we're getting older I mean retirement's retirement's coming up. What are we going to do?

Have you sat down with a math, as a math problem and said, here's what we need every month? Yeah, I tried that and she, she, she, uh, she shuts down. She'll either start crying or she'll get frustrated and just be like, I can't have this conversation with you. And so like, Yeah, that's a move. That's a move. Yeah, that's a total move She she's working now But you know, she's almost 40 years old and she makes if I had to guess but she won't really let me into her finance If I had a guess she party makes ten thousand a year. All right, I'm looking at her like you can do better than this And here's the thing you see value in her where she doesn't and that's that's the altruistic view, right?

see value in her where she doesn't. And that's the altruistic view, right? The spoiled brat view that her dad tried to pass along to you that he helped create is, hey bro, she doesn't do nothing. Best of luck to you. Pretty much. Yeah. So the real question is this, man. You have to make a choice.

Not her. Your choice is, I'm in, this is who I married, I'm gonna have to build a life, working on Saturdays, side hustle. If I have a number that I think we need to hit for us to be safe in our older age. Got 20, 25, 30 years of working left. I'm gonna get on it and here's the number

and we're gonna go. And then you may decide that I'm gonna make peace among house. The other side of it is, here's like a silly version of that, okay? I would love for my wife to want to be front row at punk rock shows with me. I would love that I've always wanted that and a couple of times she came and she smiled and was like, oh my gosh

This is madness and I would love that I went and saw some buddies the other night. It was a blast man And she didn't come But I also know who I married And so I've chosen to not get my feelings hurt because it's not about me. I've chosen to not sit there all day and meditate on, she won't go, I can't believe that. What does that mean about our relationship?

She just doesn't like it, it's fine. And I don't like tons of country music shows except for Aaron Watson, right? So other than that, like I have to make peace with that. I know that's not even close to the same ballpark of what you're dealing with, but it's the principles the same same The other side of it is leave Leave

But you're you are you are drinking poison every day hoping that it that she gets sick and it's just not Right, right. She's been almost almost radically clear. This is who I am Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And so you can make peace with that. And if she was on the phone with me, I mean, you better believe I challenged the heck out of her, right? Yeah. But the whole, I just can't have this conversation now and shut down.

That's nonsense. After six years of being together, that's a choice. That's a move to manipulate any sort of accountability or responsibility. Yep. And by the way, you can't be her dad. When you start telling her what to do and how to do it and when to do it, you become her father all over again. Yeah. And it's just, uh, you know, the golden opportunities. I mean, we're a little older now, but many moons ago, her dad was like, you know what, your, your education just picked somewhere to go that you like. And, uh,

you know, I'll fund it and we got to get you prepared for the, you know, for the workplace. And yeah, but you realize how stupid that logic is? Well, I mean, as far as just being trained on something. Yeah, I know. But I'm saying like, if you want to prepare your kid for the real world, you have to have some skin in the game. That's like your dad, her dad saying, all right, here's the deal.

I'm going to go in that weight room and I'm going to work out really, really hard so that you can lift, like deal with life struggles when they come. It doesn't make any sense, right? I get it. I get his sentiment. I get what he's trying to do. And I also get, I'm dealing with it right now. I wanna just give my kid, I have an old truck.

I just wanna give it to my son. I had to work so freaking hard for my thousand dollar car when I was a kid. I hated it. And I also know if I do this, I'm actually setting him up to fail. And that's what happened. He gave her everything and now she's like,

cool, you're up Corbin, you give me everything. Yeah, and that's the thing when we got together, I kind of gave her the same thing. Like I'll take care of the bills, you just apply yourself somewhere. I don't really care where, just show me that even if it's something that doesn't make you money but it's good for you like show me something some kind of application that you're willing to put in the effort somewhere and it's

always just I'm in first gear I'll get there when I get there you worry about it and I just it's I've got it I don't know I don't know and that's why that's why I don't think this is about money. I think this is about, I don't respect you as a person. No hobbies, no joys, no friends, no connectivity. Just like a great insight into the real Housewives catalog. Yeah. I mean, and then next thing you know,

she's over there watching the Real Housewives of Weber. And I'm like, I think you see yourself in that show and it's not your life. I mean, I don't play for the NBA. Yeah. So I think I think you need to spend some time with you. And by the way, the fact that you said I I don't even know how much money she makes. That tells me your marriage has deeper cracks in it than just she doesn't make any money. Y'all are living parallel lives. She is a roommate who lives in your house.

Or to be gross about it, she's a teenage kid living in your house house and you come home from work and she hasn't done her homework done anything You're like get up and do something like mmm, and they don't ever move Yeah, and then to be fair, I mean she does plenty around the house and so she takes care of herself She's not a slob by any means she's you know, it's not a lot of time in front of the mirror But I could catch her on a Tuesday afternoon and I'm like, are you gonna do something today? She said it's my day off and I'm like X amount you shouldn't have a day off. Where's this day off coming from? Yeah Focus on something please and she's just like no I can't that's your job to worry about the finances and I'm just

Yeah, here's the thing. I want you to spend some honest-to honest to goodness time with you and you're in your head now and you're angry And that clouds it and this might go against everything you've ever thought to do, but I want you to spend some time Even if it's just 30 minutes a day 15 minutes a day for a couple of weeks But I want you to be honest and actually write down what you're thinking. Because I'm willing to bet this is not about finances. Ultimately, no. I mean, but as part of it, I think that's kind of the end result, you know. I mean, that's an easy scorecard, right?

It's an easy metric to look up and say, look, you're not even contributing. But I hear a guy who desperately wants his wife to enjoy being alive and she looks like she's dead in her own skin. And I don't know any man that doesn't want to marry somebody who's vibrant or be married to somebody who actually likes being alive and has purpose and a sense of like autonomy yet connectivity like But unfortunately, you can't do anything about that you've tried for a long time The only thing you can deal with is you so you can make peace in your house That's just how she rolls. I'm gonna

Princess her up and I'm gonna stop walking around all day being angry because it's just ruining my day Or I'm gonna I'm gonna have an or what conversation this has to change or I'm out We have to share a checking account. We have to share bills. We have to go to marriage counselor and rebuild this thing from the floor up And if she starts crying says I, I don't want that. I don't want to be put then. Okay. I need you to be an adult and have an adult conversation here and quit diving out of the conversation.

Yeah. I'll have it with a marriage counselor. If I'm, if I'm not saying it right, if I'm frustrating or whatever, if I scare, if I scare you, then I'm going to, I don't want to do that. I'll have it with a marriage counselor, but we got to have this conversation because I want you participating in the life we gotta have this conversation. Because I want you participating in the lifeblood of this home. Yep.

Yeah, I think that's what it is, is she knows that dad's gonna be there for whatever, if the whole thing falls apart. I don't know, it's like, that's fine for you. I know brother, but- We're supposed to be working together at this. And that to me is the thing. You all got married, you got in the boat and you started heading off down the river and she never got in. She's never been in.

She's like no no no no no boat is for you. I'm gonna sit on the on the side. On the on the bank of the river and I'm gonna do whatever I want to do. And if you don't want to keep doing that that's fine. My dad's boat will be here in a little bit. That's a tough pill to swallow, man. When you look up six years later, three years later after being married, working as hard as you do and find out, oh, she never got in the boat to begin with. I hate that for you, man. in the boat to begin with. I hate that for you man. Yeah it's it's I can hear it in your voice it's about to become rage and it's about to become resentment and at the end of the day that just poisons you. So let's have some time what do you actually want because I think she could go get a

job today and still it wouldn't it wouldn't fix the hole in your heart. What do you actually want? And it sounds like you want her to get in the boat with you. Ride or die, let's go over the falls together. And she won't. Or you need to have that or what conversation. Thanks for the call, brother. We'll be right back. All right, you've heard the rumors and they are true.

The modern world exposes us to things that were unheard of until just a few decades ago. Listen, I'm talking about screens in our homes, screens in our offices, fluorescent lights, EMFs. All of these things can affect our mood, our sleep, our anxiety, and more. And that's why I'm so excited to partner with Bond Charge, a world leader in red light therapy and EMF blocking gear. I use Bond Charge products all of the time, literally every single day, and I love them. And here's why I think you're going to love them too.

Studies show that red light therapy can help boost your mood, reduce stress, and help with sleep. And it can help your recovery from aches and pains, transform your skin, and even help with cellulite and stretch marks. My red light therapy panels, the infrared sauna blanket, my EMF mat and more have become a cornerstone of my health and wellness routine. I use them every single day. And I want you to check out BondCharge's other amazing products like blue light glasses, EMF protection products, infrared sauna blankets, and 100% blackout sleep masks. Go to BondCharcharge.com slash deloni and use coupon code deloni to say 15%

That's B-O-N-C-H-A-R-G-E bondcharge.com slash deloni and use coupon code deloni to say 15%. Go check them out. All right, we are back. Hit that subscribe button and the five star reviews and tell the algorithms and the computer overlords, we love this show. Thank you. Let's go out to Sioux Falls, South Dakota and talk to Catherine. What's up Catherine? Hey John, how's it going?

Dude, rocking on to the break of dawn. What are you up to? Just hanging out. Excellent day. What's up? So I preface, I'm 30, I'm married, I own a business and my husband also owns a business with me and I am struggling to make friends with women who are in a similar situation as me.

All right, tell me something more interesting about you than you own a business. I really am into fitness and have been since I was 16. I got into lifting and I just, I love it. It's a huge part of my life. Tell me about it. I just I guess one of the businesses we own is fitness related and I built up a lot of confidence from lifting at an early age. So it's kind of like been, I guess, a huge part of my identity. You tell me about your husband. Um, he is also really into fitness, which is awesome. You know, that was kind of one of the things actually that we connected on when we first met.

And um, he's very ambitious hard worker. He motivates me every day and takes really good care of me. I'm just really, really blessed to have him as a husband. How much protein have you both had combined so far this morning? All of it. That's such a great answer. We don't measure in grams, we measure in all of it. That's excellent. Yes. Awesome.

More. So dude, tell me about the nightmare of being 30 and trying to find friends. Oh my gosh, it's impossible. I don't drink so it's not like I'm gonna meet, you know, Stacey at a bar and be best friends with her. Her mom has got it going on. Alright, so what else? She does. Um, I don't know, I guess I just, I'm looking, I have girlfriends. I mean, they're great, but there's not that like deep introspective conversation that I'm just dying for, you know? Why do you think something's wrong with you, that you're not dying for that? I guess, I don't know.

What do you mean? Well, either you're recognizing, like, I'm not whole. There's some things I, there's places I want to go where I don't have to count macros and I just want to drop my shoulders and I don't want my goofball husband around who I love to the moon and back. I just want some girlfriends that I can just shoot the crap with that you recognize that. Or you're reading a lot of self-help books and you're like, I've turned your life into a GCI like glucose intake and proteins and macros and like sleep track.

Like you've just optimized your life and you are looking at a check mark, being like, Oh, I need friends that I crave this with. I need that. Which one of it is one of them's, one of them's a story and one of them is a, is a hole in your heart. Yeah, I think you nailed it. Which one? I mean, probably both. I guess I've always been very goal oriented.

So it's really funny. I never thought I was looking at getting a friend as like a checklist. I do feel like, oh, this girl, I like her, but she only has this, this and this. She does not have like, you know, this. And I'm just, maybe I can't really be friends with her because of that, I guess, if that makes sense. Totally. And I would just tell you,

my two closest friends, actually, one, two, three, four, five, my six closest friends on the planet do not exercise with any regularity at all, none. And they laugh at me because they're all fairly certain I'll be the first one to have a heart attack because I work out so much. And they're some of my closest best friends on the planet. And over time what I've come to learn, when you're kids and they self-select you, even all the way through college, like they put you in groups by shared interests

I think as adults you move into different levels of friendship through shared values And I have grown to love the fact that um I consider ben here a great friend. We've done bands together We've gone to see punk rock show together and he is the president of the Dungeons and Dragons Club or whatever I don't know what they do. They took what elves and ghosts and stuff. I've played Dungeons and Dragons Approximately zero times in my life ever not one time and I love that about him You know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. And so it's become this thing, like, can I ask you a mean question, but I don't mean it to be mean, just to mean it to be reflective. Many of my friends in the fitness, not the fitness industry, the like the true honest great people, like the mind pump guys and Jordan Sy, not those guys,

but what I would call the beef cakes right beneath them. The crush it and kill it guys. There tends to be a sense of look at all the work I've done. I'm kind of better than y'all. And it makes it hard to make friends because you're always sizing people up. Or the books say you should be friends with people who are aspirational. So you're always looking at interactions as like friends are some sort of 401k

that if I'm friends with these five people, then I'll be better at fill in the blank. And I think that's a catastrophic way that we have optimized human interaction in a really disgusting way. Yeah, well. Friends should be a group of people that yes, hold you accountable and yes, iron sharpens iron.

And it's a place where you can drop your shoulders and just tell that joke that's super inappropriate, but it's kind of funny. Yeah, I guess, and I do do that. I do have fun with, you know, those friends and I do have those friends. I guess I just also would like to be friends with somebody who does have, you know, big goals and aspirations, but also that can be a goofball with. And do you not think your friends have goals and aspirations that are deep and profound?

Are they just different than yours? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. One of my closest closest friends is literally counting down the days to retirement. And we mock each other mercilessly. I have no retirement, I have no interest in retiring. I would like to just be at work one day

and then just be dead. I like work, I like showing up and doing stuff. And we're just different that way. But the fact that he has a plan and the fact that he deeply believes in it and he's working towards it, that's where we align. And the destination just makes for great fodder for us giving each other a hard time.

So do you have a friend who might be as dedicated to as you are to working out and starting businesses as dedicated to being the best freaking mom that's ever existed? Yeah. Or to helping change a local school or, you know, running a restaurant that's just top not... You get what I'm saying? Yep.

I feel super humbled. I never thought that I was thinking about being better than people, but now that you say that, I just feel so horrible about it. Why, why? Well, you never wanna be thought of as like, oh, I'm actually kind of arrogant looking at this,

but that's kind of what it is. It's like, I knew I'm actually kind of arrogant looking at this, but that's kind of what it is. It's like I knew I could always learn something from them and like different outside of what I value and my goals, but like you said, they're more than just a checklist. I wish more than anything in the world I could hold. I would not be as anxious about money as my friend Todd and John are. And the fact that I save the way I do

and I scratch and claw the way I do, doesn't make me better. Even though I might have a spreadsheet that says, this metric is above theirs. You know what they have that I don't? An ability to laugh so loud that room shakes. An ability to be like, I'll have two more pieces of cheesecake and I'm going to feel terrible tomorrow.

And I think, you know what I mean? I don't, I can't do that. And I long for that level of, ah, and also, I know that at least one of them, probably both of them, would love to just be able to get up at five o'clock in the morning and go work out and then sit in a cold plunge until their brains froze. They would love that.

And so it's about, like, man, yeah. Let me put it this way. There will come a humbling moment, a reckoning. It's much better for everybody if you land that plane before it crashes. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. You'll blow out an ACL and not be able to exercise for a while. and when that identity goes or one of your businesses will fail

or one of your husband won't be as great as you think, like something will happen, things will happen. And when you learn at a young age to hold things really loosely and yet work really hard, my gosh, that's the recipe for peace. And so let me ask you probably the hardest question I've asked you. Deep beneath all of the workouts,

beneath the amazing husband, beneath all, are you cool with you? I mean- Let me say it this way, that sounds kind of woo woo. Are you afraid that people are going to judge you as harshly as you judge them? Maybe, I don't... I mean, I don't know, I've done a lot of work,

but I do find it hard to, I guess, yeah, be truly authentic with people. How come? I feel like I, I don't know, I feel like I have to have a mask for some reason. Yeah. Or maybe three or four inches of muscle. You can hide behind.

Six or seven. Ah. You can hide behind. Six or seven. Ah. The fact that you could rip that joke off just like that tells me you'd be a lot of fun to hang around if you would let yourself actually be hung around with. Yeah, that's fair.

I wonder what it would be like, what kind of freedom you could experience if you could just be full of you. And it will cost you some hanger-ons and it will cost you some peripheral friends. But you'll have some deep, deep relationships that will form over time. And sometimes a simple question is, hey, will you teach me something? Or I've got to know how can you ingest that much beer? I don't see how that's physiologically possible. I remember one time I brought my,

this is the kind of dork I am, I brought a foam roller to watch the fights with some guys. And these are guys that had never, never go to a gym. And they were like, I was trying to show them how it worked and they were like, this is so dumb. And then one by one, they'd find a hotspot and be like, ah, ah, and it was weird laughing. And also I had all these like, this is why. And they're like, dude, it's not doing anything.

I think you're kind of making this, all right? So it just became fun. It just became, it's a place where I can just drop my shoulders. And yes, if there's a problem in my marriage, those are the guys I call. There's a problem with finances, those are the guys I call. If there's a problem with my spiritual life,

those are the guys I call. And I think that started when I was able to fully be okay with they love me just for showing up. So I guess where would you start if you're I I guess, working on quote unquote unmasking? I would take three or four of my closest friends, the ones that you consider closest, and put something regular on the calendar. And even go as far to say as I need a couple of three or four ride or die women in my life. And I have some hilarious jokes that my husband don't think are funny Or I want to learn about like okay Ted teach you tell me about like your job job, like what do you do every day and

Yeah, not you but like them be genuinely interested in their lives not in yeah Are they meeting the checklist that you've given yourself that you feel like gives you permission to even exist. And for you, that's body fat percentage, insulin, and right whatever other things you're measuring. You're ApoB and you're like what like those are things are all important to good and I like dealing with that stuff. I kind of like that some of my friends don't. So I guess I'll say this, you're worth being a friend with, Catherine, all of you. Even the parts that you've hidden. And the only way I know to make friends in your 30s and 40s and 50s, I've said that before,

is just to go first and be weird. Put your intentions on the table. I need four or five ride or die women in my life. I need four or five ride or die men in my life. They're going to be my friends. I'm going to call you all in the middle of the night with weird conspiracy theories and I need you to laugh at me and I'm gonna call you when I am struggling with infertility and you're on baby number three. I'm gonna call you and just be sad. Will you be sad with me and I'll cheer and be so

happy too. Can we do all that together? Can we put some of these things out on the table? And then I'm sure they're dying to ask you questions about how you ingest so much protein on a daily basis and while you're snorting creatine off the counter whatever else it's going on right and starting business I'm sure they have interest too it's just allowing yourself to be fully known but the only way to do that is to go first and there will be cost associated with it you'll lose some people in your life and that's okay and by the way thanks for being brave this is a question that is plaguing especially the Western world right now. Thank

you for being a guinea pig and sitting with me, allowing me to sit with you. I think a lot of people are going to benefit from the conversation. So thank you so much for being brave. Go get them. Put the dumbbells down. I'm just kidding, keep lifting. But also start laughing some too. We'll be right back. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, you've heard me say it a thousand times and I'm gonna keep saying it.

You're worth being well. And I know many of you don't believe this to be true, but it is. And being well is hard work, but you're worth the work. And therapy can help. I see a therapist and many of you should see one too. But let's be real, taking that first step to see a therapist

can feel overwhelming and exposing. Maybe it's time, maybe you have some preconceived notions about whether it will even work or not, or maybe it's cost, or maybe you're just not sure where to start. I know, because I've been there. We spend money on gym memberships, organic groceries, some of you are essential oil people, some of you use special shampoos and creams and tracker watches, but when it comes to

our mental and emotional health, we hesitate. Listen, your mental and emotional health are just as important as your physical health. And the good news? Therapy is now more accessible than ever, and better health makes therapy more affordable and convenient. Since it's online, you can talk with your therapist when it works for your schedule. No waiting rooms, no long commutes, and no six-month waiting lists. Just fill out a short online survey to get matched with a licensed therapist, and if

it's not the right fit, you can switch at any time for no extra cost. Your well-being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com slash deloney to get started. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash deloney. All right, we're back. I'm telling you, that's gotta be the show. All stuff y'all don't hear one day. We'd get canceled so fast.

Exactly, if that stuff went out on the air, we would have a show. I know, that's the good stuff. Here's the thing. I think people assume and they kind of know. I guess it's just good to confirm it. Yes. That's, yes, you're right. It is, there's a line that HR does not cross. All right. So what's up, sister? All right. So a couple of shows ago, no, it's good. We were joking about what would we call our gang kind of thing and what would be the collective noun of Delony listeners.

So we got a ton of responses from people that had ideas and I've forgotten about it. And then over the past couple of days at home going through emails, I was like, what are people coming up? What is this? And then I remembered. But I picked a winner for what they should be called and what the collective noun would be a group of listeners. I thought this was pretty good. A Deloney groupie would be called the Jean Terrage.

Yes! Isn't that great? That's amazing. Find that person, send them everything I got. Yeah. This is from Krista in Thompson, Ohio, the Jean Terrage, which I thought was brilliant. That's it. That's the magic moment. The Jean Terrage. Yep. Oh my gosh. And then our collective now.

Smell it, Kelly. Really? I'm sorry. You smell fantastic. Right now you smell like just slathered up in Vicks. And cough drops. Yeah. Yeah. that's probably real. I smell so good. I can't smell so sure. But then somebody, Steven from Fowler, California said that the collective noun for a group

of Delonie listeners would be a mosh of Delonie's, which I like that because I think that fits you, a mosh. I'll have to think on that one. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Like you have like a pack or a herd or... Oh we just got a mosh. We got a mosh. I can handle that. Yeah. I'm in okay it's growing on me. Like because it's a mosh pit. It's a mosh of listeners. If we have a mosh and then we have when we have live events going out, then we could have like special, instead of VIP seating,

it could be in the mosh pit. That would be kind of dope. Yeah. All right. So before we wrap up the show, I have something I want to read. It's going to make you a little uncomfortable, but you're going to have to sit there and listen to it. Is it your diary again? Dear John and crew on a recent call, you encouraged the wife of a man who was suffering

from PTSD due to horrendous childhood trauma that occurred in a terrorist run country. As a nurse who lives and volunteers among refugees for a similar sociocultural background, I was so moved by your response. You gave words to indescribable grief, both hers and his. The daily complicated trauma within this small hidden sector of society often goes unnoticed, misunderstood and unaddressed. Thank you for taking the time to highlight their hurt

and offer true hope with practical advice. You not only help individuals on your show, you also equip friends, family and neighbors to step up and speak lives into others lives. God bless you and your team for all of you do. It really does make an impact. I'll accept that. Thank you for that.

I'm working on just receiving. So thank you for those kind, kind, kind words. And more importantly, who is that that wrote in? This is Betsy from Boise, Idaho. Betsy, thank you for showing up every day. It's I don't say this lightly, it's easy for me to sit with somebody and then hang up the phone and then go about my day. And this is your life.

And so for those of you who work with refugees who've just seen unfathomable trauma and work with marginalized populations and work in nursing homes and in hospitals and police departments and fire departments. You all do this every single day. Thank you. Thanks to all of you and thanks for honoring me by letting me pipe in through your headphones every now and then. It's a true, true, true honor. And thanks to you, crew. Shout out. Even you, Kelly.

Especially you. Love you guys, bye.