The Dr. John Delony Show - My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

📱 Early access: Watch episodes of The Dr. John Delony Show one week early—download the free Ramsey Network app today!   On today’s episode, we hear about: ·      A wife unsure how to address her husband’s frequent temper tantrums ·      A son wanting to encourage his homeless father to get help ·      A woman wondering how to tell her friend about her pregnancy Next Steps: 📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test  📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future  ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards  💭 John's Free Guided Meditation  🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at BON CHARGE. 🌿 Get up to 40% off at Cozy Earth with code DELONY.  🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off at Organifi with code DELONY.  💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne.   🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started!   Listen to More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights   🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy https://www.ramseysolutions.com/company/policies/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My dad has a huge drug problem that's very likely going to kill him. He's been in and out of jail and I don't know exactly how long he's been homeless. He's been homeless in San Francisco for at least 10 years. It's okay to be angry, but rage isn't gonna solve the problem, right? What's going on? This is John with the Dr. John Deloney show Put on my headphones. I was talking too much about the game last night and they started the show without me I hope you are having a great week wherever you happen to find yourself I'll be having a great day wherever you happen to be listening to this show. Whether you're going for a walk, you're at the gym, cleaning something, you're washing

your car, you're headed to work, wherever you happen to be, I'm glad that you're with us. We're talking about your relationships, your mental and emotional health. For 20 years, I've been sitting with people when the wheels have fallen off their life and we've had to map out a plan together. What's your next right move? And that's what this show is about sitting with hurting people real people going through real challenges trying to figure out What's the next right move? I hope you will call in with whatever's going on in your life and join us on the show

Give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291 Or go to JohnDoloney.com slash ask ASK. Let's go out to Bend Oregon, not Bend Over, Bend Oregon and talk to Amy. Hey Amy, what's up? Hey, not much. How are you? I'm alright. How about you? I'm doing well. Excellent. what's going on? I'm not so much, just wanted to get your thoughts on something that I've been struggling with with my husband. Go for it, what's up? Well yeah, when we go out, it turns into these, what I call for him, a tantrum.

The kids can see it and hear it and stuff. And it's just so hard. I don't know how to navigate through it. When we're just loading up the car. Give me an example. Well, he'll say, well, great, everyone's out today. Cause we do things on the weekends and I'm not the only one that had this idea and then I should be working instead of out

doing this. So sometimes when I pull into a parking lot of a restaurant that I really wanted to eat it and it's packed, I will say, oh, good, I'm the only one who had this idea today. But I'm kind of being silly. I'm kind of being annoyed, but not annoyed at anything in particular, but just the fact that everyone else likes a great restaurant too. So is he being silly or is he being an immature brat? Yeah, no, he's making it, yeah, he's being a, you would say a brat.

He, you know, is, like, by the way, I have to do this all, like, every weekend and, you know, their kids are pretty small, they're toddlers, and, you know, he'll go on to say, you know, this is, you know, for you, what you like to do, and because they're not gonna remember, this is for you, what you like to do, because they're not going to remember. So what's the point?

This is a waste of time, and we shouldn't be spending the money anyway. And he just keeps going on. OK, so why do you keep inviting him? Well, I'm expecting our fourth. I mean, like for family things, I find around where we live, it's nice to have him on the weekends so he can, you know, kind of play with the kids and, um, he doesn't want to. He doesn't like this life.

Yeah. It's hard because I thought he did. Because sometimes when we do go out, he does enjoy himself. So that just makes it hard. What does he say when... Have you ever sat down, not on a weekend, and just talked through like, hey, what's going on? I feel like you don't like to be around us. You don't like the life that we're creating together. what's going on? I feel like you don't like to be around us. You don't like the life that we're creating together. What's going on? Well, he works from home and he says he needs to be out working and doing things for us for our financial stability and then whatever we do on the weekends takes away from that

Is he just saying that indiscriminately or have y'all sat down and worked out your family finances and realized okay with with a fourth on The way we need to make some extra money during a season We haven't actually No, so Have you ever heard me talk about pictures and words before No. So, have you ever heard me talk about pictures and words before? No. Okay. So, I think one of the easiest ways to distill down 99% of marriage conflict is this idea

that we think in pictures, but we speak in words. Okay. And so for instance, your husband says, I'll go, I'll do something with the family this weekend. And you say, let's do something with the family this weekend. Okay. You have a very clear picture in your mind about what you think that's going to look like. You're going to be singing in the car, the kids are going to be well behaved, you're

going to go get ice cream or breakfast or whatever you're doing. Like you're going to go do some things together. Go to a park and play. He has a picture of something totally different. And so the first time somebody cuts him off in traffic or the first time he goes to the first place, y'all wanted to go and it's full and you see, it's like you miss each other in the night. Or he'll say something like, hey, finances are kind of tight.

Well you'll think, okay, I'll just order water instead of diet coke. And he's thinking we're $10,000 short right now. And he's trying to shoulder it all without the skills to communicate or the desire to communicate with you the actual situation. And so often couples sitting down and saying, okay, we're about to have child number four. Our life as we knew it is about to be over again. We're about to rebuild something new. Right now it feels like we have a life that we can't afford because you're concerned about

money to the point that you don't want to be around your family. Okay. You work from home, yet we can only do things as a family on the weekends. And it rarely seems to bring you joy. I want to build a life that you want to be a part of, and I want to build a life that I want to be a part of. Right. And so a conversation that my wife and I have every single day, one of us will ask, Hey, what's your picture for today look like? Because what we're doing is we would say things like, Hey, I'm going to be, I'm going to come

home. I'll be home a little bit later tonight. Well, in my head, I'm going to get off work because I have media until six 30. And then I'm going to go grab some dinner with a couple of coworkers. And then we go to band practice. I'm not going to get off work because I have media until 6 30 and then I'm going to go grab some dinner with a couple of coworkers and then we go to band practice. I'm not going to get home till nine for my wife. She has a picture of me being a little late home tonight at six instead of five 30. So she just bumps dinner back and the whole family center on weight. And so we say what's your picture of today look like?

And I'll say I've got this and I've'll say, I've got this and I've got this and I've got this and I've got this. Okay, great, we're gonna have dinner at 530 without you. Great. And so you and your husband sitting down and saying, okay, we get to map out what this thing looks like, we get to build what it looks like. And you have to be clear,

when you wanna go out on a weekend and you have a particular thing that you need, like I've been in the house all day with all these kids and I'm pregnant again and I need fresh air, I need to move and I need a break from the kids, you need to be able to say, I need a break from the kids. And he needs to be able to say, I've got to work a second job to get some extra money right now. We need to hire a middle schooler

to come over and just play with the young ones for a little bit because we can't afford a full-time sitter but we can't afford a middle schooler to come over for a minute or we need your sister to come over or our somebody from church to come over like we need to figure that part out but it's you guys saying what you need and you need to sit down and do a weekly or monthly budget with him together so you have an idea of what the finances are, of what kind of stress he's under. And if he says I need to be working but actually he's just sleeping in on Saturday mornings and then watching football all day, well there's a mismatch so your pictures and words aren't

aligning. But this feels like this, it kind of feels blobby. You never want to be around us. I'm always around you. Yeah, but you never really feel like you're, yeah, but I never, and so no one's being specific about what they actually want, what they actually need, and giving the other person an opportunity to say, I can meet those wants and needs,

or I'm not gonna meet those wants and needs and and here's why and that's a more vulnerable conversation but y'all are there now because here's what's happening you are doing what you know to do just harder let's do weekend stuff together or more or and he is doing what he knows to do which is to come complain go Act like kind of a toddler throw a temper tantrum louder and more And what's gonna happen is you're gonna find Somebody somewhere that gives you a little bit of peace. You're all gonna start Ending up co-managers of a pretty wild household. You got four kids y'all are outnumbered two to one You're gonna start being good co-managers of your house

But you're gonna miss each other in the night. And so I want you guys to take a small retreat, get together, it can be a Saturday, it can be a Sunday, talk about money, talk about adding kid number four, talk about what you want your house to look like in five years, what you want your house to feel like in five years, and then be very specific about things like, hey, I miss you.

I feel like every time we do things together, you're just annoyed. Is there something I can do to bring some more joy to our time together? I feel like you're stressed about money a lot and he can talk to you about what he's experiencing using the word I. I'm experiencing you more frustrated than usual. I'm experiencing you more tired than usual. I'm experiencing you more tired than usual,

whatever the words are. And y'all can get to the root of what's actually going on. I'm really grateful for the call, Amy. I'm gonna send you a copy of building a non-anxious life as my gift. I want y'all to use that as a roadmap for your house. You have a chaotic, anxious house as is. And if there's money stress on top of it

and marriage stress on top of it and any sort of other clutter or chaos or lack of sleep or any of those things that come with having four young kids this will give you a roadmap the y'all can work together to build a house that's not anxious and thereby give you an opportunity to have a house that's full of peace. Thanks for the call. We'll be right back. So I've been looking for someone I could team up with to offer red light and near-infrared light therapy at the highest quality, as well as someone who could help me with my other concerns about our modern living environment as well. I've tried a number of different companies and their products,

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I have to have a weird conversation probably weird for me not for you you. Hey dude, let's get weird as you want to get. Alright, so what I have written is my dad has a huge drug problem that's very likely going to kill him. I'm the only person that he has left and I've been spinning my wheels on this trying to figure out if I can do anything that's helpful. I know the problem's probably not going to go away if I can do anything that's helpful. I know the problems probably not going to go away and there's probably nothing that I can do but there has to be a way for me to move forward. Does that make sense?

Yeah. How old are you man? 25. How long has this been a part of y'all's life together? Well I'm sure that he's had a drug problem for his whole life as far as I know, but my parents got divorced when I was around 10, mainly because of this and because he couldn't behave. But he's been in and out of jail since then and I don't know exactly how long he's been homeless, but he's been homeless in San Francisco for at least 10 years. Do you have any communication with him?

He calls me every once in a while. When I was younger, we talked a lot more, but the most recent thing I heard from him was he was in the hospital. One of the nurses, whoever was taking care of him called me and said that he wanted to talk to me. And I asked how long he had been there, how many times he had been there this year, and they said 25. And that he had just overdosed again and they resuscitated him. It's kind of the same thing. Are you married? Yeah.

Do you have any kids? I just had one. He's a year old now. So are you experiencing the, like you can't really describe it, the undescribable love of holding a one yearyear-old that nobody ever told you about, and you're wondering how in the world did your dad pick this life over you? Yeah, it really gives you a different perspective.

Because when you're younger, you think, you know, well, he just can't seem to get it together, but then you have a kid and you're like, I can't imagine how he did it. And so it's common that you will toggle from a life of frustration and fear at growing up in the house of someone who really struggles with a profound drug addiction and divorce. And then you move to some level of compassion. Like you mentioned, just can't get it together. It is what it is. This is my dad. And then you hold your first kid

and it's very common that it goes to rage, to anger. Like, are you kidding me? Like when you hold that one year old, your one year old, like you would burn down a city for that kid, right? And so it's hard to wrap your head around. And so I guess number one, I want to implore you to stay in compassion as much as you can because anger is not going to solve the problem. Anger is fine.

Rage isn't going to solve the problem. It's okay to be angry, but rage isn't going to solve the problem, right? Yeah. And I'm not really so much angry or frustrated, but just like it's it's got to be something I can't imagine, I guess, since he's in the middle of this crazy addiction, I guess. But I don't really know how I can help him or if there's any way I can help him. So pursue the fantasy with me.

Okay. You get on a plane and you fly down to San Francisco from Mississippi, fly down to San Francisco, you find him, y'all hug, have a big reunion, y'all go to breakfast, and you've set up for him a rehab place where he can go. And you figured out how to pay for it, and it would be ungodly expensive, but you figured out how to pay for it. And he goes, and he goes to 30, 60, 90 days inpatient.

He gets out, he's clear eyed, he's shaved, he's bathed, he's got a job. Then what? I mean, I've tried to do that, but I don't really see that getting to that point. That's right. Even if it did get to that point, I don't... Unless you got a job and were able to figure it out or get on some kind of disability,

I feel like it would just happen again. So there's this moment when I'm going to love you the best I can with the tools I have given the circumstances we both find ourselves. What that might look like is he doesn't have a mailing address, does he? Or does he? Does he have a PO box or something? No. No.

Okay. Does he have a cell phone where he can get in touch with him? Every time he has one, he loses it or it gets stolen from him or something. Okay. Every once in a while, maybe every few months, you know, I'll get a call from him or like, you know, the last time he was in the hospital, he called me from their phone and there's a, there's a, you know, a couple hours away, there's a ministry type rehabilitation center that I said, I've talked to him and they'll

take you and it's free and they give you a job and he's like I don't want to do that. Yeah Or he'll act like he wants to do it, but he really doesn't Sorry, this one's kind of catching a lump in my throat man There's something about wanting something for your mom and your dad so bad that they don't want for themselves. Or maybe they can't for themselves for whatever reason. Yeah, I'm not saying it's getting worse because his situation's been about as worse as you can get.

Yeah, but there comes a point when his body says, body has had enough, right? Yeah. And what made me call is, I feel like I'm getting desperate because he overdosed again. And when they talked to him this last time, he said that he was bad, they resuscitated him because he had DNR written all over his body. And then he overdosed again in the waiting room or whatever or when he got there when he woke up. Yeah, he had something on him and overdosed again in the hospital. Yeah.

So I do I just just stop talking to him. Do what do I do? I think you have to answer that question for yourself. Sometimes people have said the last thing they need to say which is I love you. I've got a plan for yourself. Sometimes people have said the last thing they need to say, which is I love you, I've got a plan for you, I want my, I have a fantasy about my son growing up with a granddad, and when you're ready I'll be here. And then you have to hold that space for a few overdoses. Or in this situation, it sounds like he's trying to die by suicide via overdose. And some people want to have one last face to face. You get on a plane and you go find him.

I don't even know how you would go about doing that, but you go find him. And you take him to breakfast and say I'm your son's, I to know like I see you're on a bad trajectory I'm gonna tell you one more time I love you these people will take you I've already set it up it's for free here's a picture of your grandson I just want you to see it and I'd love you to be around for the 20 or 30 years watch them grow up and then you can leave with peace in your heart knowing I did what I could do. Yeah, yeah, I've thought about that.

I just don't know if that's the right thing to do or not. I don't, here's the thing. I want you to be able to close your eyes at night knowing I did what I could do and I did it with love and I didn't use my dad to try to make me feel better. Yeah, that's a good way of saying it. And so for whatever it's worth man, it sounds like over the last 25 years you've gone to the ends of the earth to try to get that man to see you and love you and to love those around him. Yeah.

And for whatever it's worth, his continued drug use and his continued homelessness and challenges have not been because of his son Connor. Right. I'd be willing to bet he's been alive longer because you're in the world Yeah, I hope so And maybe it's a matter of writing him a letter and making one last flight this holiday season to say goodbye And just knowing I'm letting my dad go Or maybe you don't even have to make that trip You can write that letter and you can read it to your brother and sister around the Christmas tree this year Or you can read it to your wife and your one-year-old and just know this is the year. I said goodbye

I don't know what I Don't know what the the old 5150 I don't know what the I don't know if you can force somebody into rehab in California I don't know if you can make somebody Who's dying? of Substance abuse in California go to rehab. I don't know what the rules are there Yeah, I don't even Most place sounds unlikely that you could make somebody do that. Yeah most places

like I'm like a Mandatory hold is pretty tough, especially over a long period of time Yeah, and I had talked about that with a hospital and they offered him treatment as well But I don't think he took it. Yeah, he can walk out the door Right. Yeah, they released him and I guess he just went back to the streets. Yeah. Sorry, I don't know. So I think if I were you, I would probably sit down and you've probably heard me say,

tell people to do this, but I would write, I would enter into the three letter ceremony, which is I'm going to write my dad one letter that says, dear dad, like, here's what you gave me. I want to say thank you. It's a letter of gratitude. I'm 25. I've got a one year old. Thank you for whatever fine gratitude in your heart. It's made you more compassionate.

It's made you more compassionate. It's made you be more open-minded. It's made you focus. His struggles have made you make different choices in your life. Even if it's gratitude for thank you for painting a picture of what life I don't want. Then the second letter is one of anger. I can't believe. Say all the things that are in there write them down and get them out and the third letter is a letter of honor and here's who I'm going to become here's

what you're going to miss but it's a testament to our family tree is going to look different. And here's the role I'm going to play. And for most people who do this, it has a sense of just taking the center blocks out of your backpack that you walk around with every day. Yours will be a little more challenging because he's still alive. Yours will be a little more challenging because he's still alive. And most of us don't ever have to run up against this terrible feeling of. I would if I could, but I can't like, here's the limits of what I can do here. What's your wife think you should do? I don't know.

Nothing in particular. Kind of the same thing as me. You talk to them and you tell them what you can, when you can. But that's about all I can think to do. What do you want to do? I don't know. I don't, I don't really want to go see him and I don't really want to deal with it anymore. But okay, listen, listen, listen, listen, you have permission to make that choice.

You're not a bad guy. You're a good young man, you're a good new father, you're a good husband. I'll even go as far to say you're a good son. You've done what you could do. And know when he passes away, it will still hurt. You'll still have guilt. But you've heard me say this before. I want you to choose guilt over resentment. If you go out there again and spend $2,500 on plane tickets and hotels and food and whatever

and he snubs you again, you're going to start getting rageful. You're going to start resenting the fact that he exists. Right, yeah. I've thought about that a lot, the guilt over resentment. I'd rather feel guilty that... I stuck my hand in the bag and got bit by a rattlesnake 50 times, and I didn't do it a 51st. And there's always gonna be, it's natural to feel a little guilty. I should have done it a 51st time, but reality was...

I did the best I could with what I had. Right. And my dad was sick. And the greatest gift I can give to the legacy that he left is to do everything I can as far upriver as possible to never put myself in a position where I can get sick like that. Right. Yeah, it's definitely, you know, like you said, taught me what I shouldn't do. And my friends that have dabbled in drugs and I'm like, you have no idea what it's going to lead to.

There you go. How quickly you can go down that path. There you go. So David Kessler talks about in his book Finding Meaning, there comes a moment when you talk about who I'm going to become because. And maybe you develop a pretty powerful talk and you go talk to high school kids. Or maybe you develop a pretty powerful personal talk and you go talk to adults who are entering 30-day treatment programs.

Yeah, that might be nice. adults who are entering 30-day treatment programs. Yeah, that might be nice. But it becomes a way to make sense of the pain that you've experienced. It's about finding meaning in that hurt. But usually that's probably pretty premature on your end right now. Right now we're just gonna be sad. Yeah, make sense.

And maybe you put a small gift for him under the tree in your house this year just as an homage or maybe not. I guess the thing I want you to hear me say is there's not a right way to do this and I want to release you from any other further obligation. You've done what you could do, what you could do, what you could do. And if you choose to enter into the madness one more time, go get it. That tends to be my bent. I just beat my head over and over and over again. Not in a healthy way, but that means I have no boundaries. It doesn't make it right. I think you and your wife make peace.

Exhale, write the letters, and then make a daily commitment for the rest of your life. I'm going to stare down this hurt that I've experienced and my kid will have a different life and my grandkids won't know that our family had this tragedy in our family tree because of the work I did. I'm proud of you my brother. He's lucky to have you as a son. And your little one is lucky to have you as a dad. We'll be right back. Alright, so I've done some soul searching recently and I've come to the realization

that I actually love the internet. Just kidding. The internet's the worst. It's amazing, but it's the worst. But it doesn't matter if I don't like it. Everything in my life takes place on the internet. My work, my personal messages and communications. I buy most things on the internet now.

It's where I live and it's where you live too. Because so much of our lives take place on the internet now, it's where I live. And it's where you live too. Because so much of our lives take place on the internet now, it's become normal to just give away our email addresses to random companies who then turn around and sell them to other companies. It's become normal to create all sorts of accounts for banking and shopping and social media. We even order our food and schedule our garbage pickup, all this online.

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All right, let's go out to Denver and talk to Kayla. Hey, Kayla, what's up? Hey, Deloni, you're doing good. How about yourself? Just rocking on to the break of dawn. What's up? Awesome. Well, I recently found out that I'm pregnant. Is that a good thing?

Yes. All right. Yeah, we weren't really telling anybody, but except now I just call a bunch of people. Hey, Kayla, nobody listens to this show. You're fine. You're fine. Nobody listens to this. Yeah. All right, so you're pregnant. Congratulations. Number one? No, number three. Number three. Dang, Gina. Yeah. All right. Yeah, and I've heard you say that going from two to three is Dang Gina. Yeah. All right. Yeah and I've heard you say that going from two to three is really hard so. Yeah from man to man to zone. Good luck guys.

Good luck. Anyway, so a friend of ours from some church, she recently went through a miscarriage and then just shortly after that I found out about this baby and I feel like I should tell her about it in person, but I'm not exactly sure how to tell her before we share about it on social media. And that's why I'm coming to you. Oh, great question. Yeah. Great question.

Tell me about your friendship with this, with this woman. I've known her for a few years. I want to say that we're particularly close. Like we're part of the, like a tribe of women I want to say that we're particularly close. Um, like we're a part of the, uh, like a tribe of women that she's tried to like get around her. We've done a few girls nights together and she had me and another friend of ours on a group text, um, when she was going through the miscarriage and things like that.

And like I called her and prayed for her and, um, yeah, but like, but we never have really really had any heart to hearts or anything. Yeah, it's like I know her, but I don't know her deeply. Yeah. So really the best wisdom I could give you here is exactly what I would do. Okay?

Okay. I would send you to come over to your house and you'd have a private conversation with you. Mm-hmm. And I'd go over to your house and say, this is remarkable news, but this is going to be particularly, it might be particularly painful news. I don't know. I don't want to prejudge.

I don't want to presuppose. But because of how you honored me and let me walk alongside you when you were hurting, I wanted you to be the first to know that we just found out that I'm pregnant. And so the two ways I have difficult conversations, the two frames I have are facts of your friends, just say the thing. No him-hawing, no running around, no long stories. And in third grade, none of that. I know this could potentially be painful.

This could potentially be the best news you can hear. But before it makes its way around, everybody wanted you to know first. And the second one is the facts of your friends are just going to say the thing. The second one is calm is contagious. I'm not going to come in hysterical or kind of over the top. I'm going to come in with peace. And I think the third and most important thing for you is just to give her whatever reaction she has. Okay.

And she might be overwhelmed with joy for you. She might tell you to get out. She might tell you, I'm excited, but I can't be with you during this time. And I would give her just an extraordinary amount of grace. Okay. Okay. I think the only thing you can control in this side of the relationship is you treating her with dignity and honor and I think your intuition is right.

I don't want her getting this from some email. If you walk through her miscarriage with her, you all have a bond whether you all have kumbaya time on a weekly basis or not. And it definitely is the right thing to say, hey, before this, before you just get a text message about this, I wanted to let you know in person. Okay. Does that make you nervous? Kind of mostly wondering like,

do I need to bring someone over to her house? And like, do I need to acknowledge what had happened to her? Yeah, more like that, but I think everything else will be fine. So I don't want you to go over to her house and apologize for the happiest moment of your life. Oh, okay. Right?

Cause I definitely would have. So you're not apologizing for being pregnant. Okay. You are just honoring her by telling her first in person because you all have a deeper relationship and she's got some significant pain around the same topic. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. And so, joy and pain are not some zero. You having an exciting, you having exciting news doesn't take away from any joy she was slowly accumulating. There's endless amounts of joy and there's endless amounts of hurt. And so the best thing you can do is to treat her with honor, treat her with dignity and keep your integrity about you, which is I'm going to do the right thing and then give her grace because grief makes us act and do tough stuff sometimes. And if she chooses to cut you off for a while, I can't text you, I don't want to talk to you for a while, you didn't do anything wrong. She's just struggling.

Yeah. And that's okay. And you might feel weird or guilty, just let me down. You're having a baby, that's amazing news. And she lost a baby, that's terrible news. Both of those things are true. And they don't come at the cost of the other. You get what I'm saying?

Yeah. If you were having her husband's baby Now we got that was like now we got a problem, right? Yeah Definitely. Thankfully that's not the case exactly. So you see what I'm saying? Like like that's another call on this show. I'm sure but like That's when you have oh my gosh. I have the thing you It becomes messy. You're not here. You're not apologizing for having a baby. This is the most exciting thing ever. I think letting her know, I would love for you to walk alongside me in this and I also fully understand if it's too soon.

If this is heavy. Give her permission. And then refuse, refuse to talk bad about her refuse to Belittle how she responds refuse to tell other people. Oh my gosh, she lost it She screamed at me told me to get out of her house, which probably won't happen Probably what will happen is she'll get choked up instantly and give you a big hug and tell you she's so happy for you And then probably send you a text of some sort about how she really feels later. That's my guess. But the having experienced that in my own house, not as a woman, not as a person who's carrying a baby, but having experienced

multiple miscarriages, nothing made me happier than when I found out my friends are pregnant. I was so happy for him And I also know some people just need space because they're not in a place to celebrate and that's okay Okay, all you can do is the next right thing All right, is that cool will you do me a huge favor? Yeah. Will you let me know how it goes?

Yeah. Will you write us back and just put follow up? Yeah, definitely. I would love to know how the conversation goes. And if your friend wants to call, that'd be great. Okay, I'll tell her. Be cool. When's your baby due?

End of July. Boy or girl? I don't know. My daughter says that it's a girl and. Boy or girl? I don't know. My daughter says that it's a girl. And I'm just like, I don't know. We have one of each. I think it's a boy and I think you should name it John, because that's a dope name.

Well, psych, we already have a boy named John. Booyah! Hey, listen, if you don't screw this up, your kid too can be a middling B-level podcaster one day. Shoot for the stars, Kayla. Shoot for the stars. What's up? Your kid too can be a middling B-level podcaster one day. Shoot for the stars, Kayla. Shoot for the stars. Oh man, amazing.

Hey, it's an honor to get to talk to you today. I'm excited for you. And thank you for being there for your friend when she was struggling. She needed a person to text in the middle of the night to say she wasn't okay. It's hard to walk through loss with somebody. And that's a pretty noble, honorable thing that you did. And it would be amazing if she could walk through joy with you. And it's also understandable if right now she can't.

Both of those are okay. She's lucky to have you as a friend, Caleb. Thank you so, so much for the call. We'll be right back. Okay. I want to tell you about my friends at Cozy Earth. Over the last few weeks, my sleep has been off. I've been spending more time on screens than I like, and I'm traveling all over the place.

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And just this morning, my son came downstairs wearing my Cozy Earth Cityscape hoodie that he stole from my closet. Listen, let's do a restart this year. Let's put down the phone. Let's set a regular bedtime and get comfortable when possible. Let's everybody keep their own clothes. And let's invest in our sleep, all with Cozy Earth. When we sleep and rest well, we show up better for ourselves and our families. And right now, Cozy Earth is offering a 40% off discount code exclusively for my listeners. Visit cozyearth.com slash deloney

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The show is hosted by the Ramsey Network and you can download the app wherever you get apps. You download the app and you can download it. You know me. I'm excited for you. Kelly is a hip hop queen, by the way. That's how they called her back in high school. Sorry, I had to.

I like how the other kids in the booth were like, what is that? Before y'all were born. I can't believe you don't, you're down with OVP, you know me. That's your homework assignment. I'll listen to it. You won't. You're right. Your life would be better if you did though. It'd be awesome. But hey, you can download it, you can get this show a week early and you can go check out the latest episode. It's kind of taken off. It's pretty amazing watching this brave, wonderful woman go on a pretty transformational journey. So go check it out in the app. Love you guys. Don't forget to subscribe on YouTube and to

leave the reviews and download the shows and share it. Partridge in a pear tree. Do all those nice things for me. How about that? Oh geez, how do you end shows? There should be a class in college for how to end podcasts. Just say bye. See ya. Hey, what's up folks?

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