The Dr Louise Newson Podcast - 08 - Main Character Energy: How Fats Timbo transformed adversity into a self-worth manifesto

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

Award-winning content creator, comedian, and author Fats Timbo joins Dr Louise Newson for a powerful conversation on self-worth, confidence, and hormones. Fats, who has achondroplasia, shares how she turned adversity into empowerment—from childhood challenges and societal bias to becoming a viral creator and published author of Main Character Energy. In this warm, funny, and honest discussion, Fats opens up about: Growing up with limited representation Navigating bullying, ignorance, and social media Building confidence and self-love on her own terms The episode also delves into hormonal health, as Fats describes how PMS (premenstrual syndrome) affects her mood, confidence, and relationships. Dr Louise Newson explains the science behind PMS and PMDD, highlighting how hormones like oestrogen and progesterone can impact our mental wellbeing. Together, they call for greater understanding and compassion, from affirmations and goal setting, to simply allowing yourself small acts of kindness. Fats’ infectious positivity is a powerful reminder that confidence and mental wellbeing are not only essential but possible for everyone at every stage of life. This episode is also available to watch on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/l_j9nTHEUro Follow Fats, on TikTok & Instagram Order Main Character Energy  here  We hope you're loving the new series! Share your thoughts with us on the feedback form here and if you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to leave a 5-star rating on your podcast platform. Email [e-mail] with suggestions for new guests!  Disclaimer   The information provided in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Dr Louise Newson or the Newson Health Group.     LET'S CONNECT   Website: Dr Louise Newson Instagram: The Dr Louise Newson Podcast (@drlouisenewsonpodcast) • Instagram photos and videos LinkedIn: Louise Newson | LinkedIn Spotify: The Dr Louise Newson Podcast | Podcast on Spotify YouTube: Dr Louise Newson - YouTube   

On my podcast today, I've got Fats Timbo, who is a creator, comedian and author. She has a chondroplasia and it's affected her in many ways, but she's turned it into something very positive. Her whole life actually is really positive. Her book is entitled Main Character Energy and there's so much energy coming off her. We talk a lot about how to face challenges, how to be the best version of yourself. It's a great episode and so many things we can learn from. So very excited that you're here today. So Fats is a creator, a comedian and an author, soon to be paperback.

But this is, I couldn't put it down actually when I read it. But we will talk about it. But it's great that you're here. And there's lots to talk about. I was really, like when I was reading your book, I felt sad and happy. I felt negative and positive. I had loads of emotions going around. And that's probably how you spent a lot of your life.

Is that fair to say? Oh, yeah. And that's just how you described reading the book. That's literally how I feel every day. Sometimes I can just be sad about when I go outside, people looking at me. And then when I go to a space where I'm loved and cherished, I feel great, I feel happy, I embrace myself. And I think sharing the highs and lows of my life was super important because I didn't want to sugarcoat anything. No.

On social media, everyone shows. the highlights of their life and the best side of themselves. And for me, I think I wanted to let my followers know that there's another side to me. There's a story behind me. There's a reason why I am resilient or there's a reason why I have a relatable humor. It's because I go through things and I shed humor about it, you know. And I also talk about advocacy. as well. So I think it was important to highlight those things in my book and inspire others to

overcome their adversities. Because everyone has got some sort of adversity. Everyone's got something that isn't like by others, but often you can't see it. Yes. You know, when you've got a difference, whatever it is, people want to try and find fault in it rather than it being a superpower or something that even identifies you or makes you who you are. And I think it takes a long time for us to realise that. You've realised it a lot quicker than most of us, I think. But even, you know, when your mum was pregnant, like she was told something really awful, wasn't she?

Yeah, she was told that at six months precisely, that I'd either have Down syndrome or dwarfism. do you want to abort your baby? And at this point, my mom was devastated. She was upset, but she had already fallen in love with me. And she was quite fearless in the sense that whatever happened, whatever was what was going on with her, she was like, you know what, I'm going to see it through.

And I'm not going to listen to the doctors. I'm going to love this baby no matter what, which I've always felt from her. No matter how angry she gets at me sometimes, she's always loved me, like, fully. And she loves all her children. She's got five kids. And, you know, she's always said, I wanted you.

Like, I wanted you. I didn't care what anyone said, I wanted you as my child. She's so important. And didn't she make the right decision? Yes, you know, I, you know, you've got a chondroplasia. But it's not a disability that means that people have to terminate. Yes, that's the thing.

And that's what's quite sad as well, because why was it a thing to maybe terminate me because I have achondroplasia? It doesn't mean it's only my heights that is affected in my body. It doesn't affect your brain. It doesn't at all. It doesn't affect my brain. It doesn't affect any. just affects the instructions to say how big I should grow, basically. So, but it's not a reason to terminate the baby.

So I think my mum had that same thought, and she thought maybe as well, if I do have Down syndrome, that's another reason, like, okay, might have a few learning difficulties, but she might, she said that, you know, she'd seen people with learning difficulties and they were fine. So. And still very much loved as well. Yeah, exactly. I went to boarding school, actually, when I was nine.

But one of the people in my house had a chondroplasia. But when we started, we were all small. You know, we were nine. And so it was no big deal. Like, she was the same height as us. You know what I mean? And what was really interesting in, you know, at a boarding school, you just live and breathe everything together.

And we just grew at different rates, different pace. And it was just not an issue. It wasn't an issue at all, you know. And then being medical, nothing's an issue because I've seen all sorts of conditions, all sorts of things. And it's interesting when suddenly you look externally and people say, well, what is a chondroplasia? What does it mean?

And, you know, when Charlie and the Chalka Pactuary came out with, you know, the umpher limpas and people, you know, then thinking, actually, they are completely normal people. Like, what's the big deal? And it's great, actually, that, you know, people understand more and talking more. But there's still, I mean, I don't need to tell you. You still must get this, oh, shall I. talk down to her because she's smaller like what the hell like honestly i i get that a lot a lot and

i i i think as well with the charlie and the chocolate factory thing i guess it was a positive to show that we are human but at the same time it was a negative for me because um that's all people had reference to and it was so annoying being born in a world where that's the only reference people have of your condition. So I was always being, I was always mocked. I was always being made fun out of, yeah, because of the movie. Yeah, yeah. So people refer me as an umpalumpur.

Oh my gosh, no, I hadn't thought about that. I was just thinking, like, people can see that there's actors that are really good. But they spin it in a negative thing. And it's, yeah, frustrating and exhausting, basically sometimes. So, yeah, as a child, because it's, I have no control in that. I can't, that's something that you saw on TV and that's put out there and you're referring to me as that. So, yeah. That's like saying, you know, I've got brown hair, therefore everyone with brown hair has a certain way of talking or thinking like, it's rubbish. Just like,

absolutely. But that's why social media, the work that you're doing, empowering people, normalising something that is actually a normal variant, which is what the contraplasia in my mind is. It is a variant of something that, you know, it's not a big, I'm not putting you down, but it's not a big deal. The biggest deal is that you've had the most incredible life. Your parents, like, I would love to meet them.

The way that your mum, just explained when she, like, cooked a meal for your dad. Yeah, my parents are the best. Like, my dad, he, whenever he goes to an event, He has to be the most naziest person. He has to. He's like, yeah, like, I look good, I know. He's that kind of person. You'll tell him he looks good, and he'll be like, yeah, I know,

because that's my aim. But I like that confidence, and that's the kind of confidence I think I've got from him, because, you know, he doesn't care to, like, not stand out. He wants to stand out. He wants to be. What a great way to be, though. You know, he's not afraid to be standing out and be that person

that people talk to about things, you know, like being a ward manager. People rely on you. People want your opinions. Like, they respect your decisions, you know. Every time he comes over, because he works abroad, he's like, this needs to be done. This needs to be done. I'm like, oh, dad, you know, he's got a high expectation. So that's kind of how I've lived my life in a way,

having high expectations of myself, seeing things through, pushing through. And when something negative would happen and like, I'd get upset about the comment or, you know, he'd say, look at you. You are a superstar, you know, you'd always tell me that. He's like, no one can take that away from you. So being raised with that kind of mindset

really helps me as a person and helped me as someone with acondraplasia. Yeah. And your mom's quite sassy. So she cooked him a meal and then that's it. They carried him together. She is a sassy woman. She was like, I was going to cook him food and I was going to find a place to stay.

Because during those times, she was like during those times it was tough. You come to the country, you have no plan. But you just want a better life for yourself. So what can you do? You meet this man, you know, he likes you, seems to like you and your food. What are you going to do? Yeah. So, yeah, it's funny how my dad said she cooks and never left.

Which is great, isn't it? I think that's brilliant. So, but, you know, my dad used to say, it's better to be looked at than overlooked. Oh, yeah. And that's right, isn't it? Absolutely, absolutely. Because, you know, a lot of people are afraid to stand out.

One of my commandments is to not be afraid to stand out, basically. And I think it's, everyone wants to fit in, but they don't want to stand out. But it's okay to because you can inspire others. You can use your voice to speak up for the unheard. You know, I talk about rising above. It took me a long time to speak out about how I feel about things because I really wanted to have friends. I wanted to impress people.

I didn't want to give reasons for people to be upset with me. So I would just kind of appease people, the wrong people sometimes. But now I'm like, if you don't like me, that's fine, that's fine. I like me, my family liked me. And that's all that matters. And now your fiancé is well. And my fiancé loves me. Yeah.

And I mean, you're young. You've learned all these things quite quickly. I'm like nearly double your age and it's taken me years to realize that. And whether it's just because you're so great with social media that you're learning, because I do think you learn quicker on social media, you learn how people hate you quicker on social media, you get that instant reward or abuse depending on. But it does take a while to have that confidence and inner strength and not be changed

because I think it's so easy now for people to be molded and changed into a certain person or a certain personality or a certain way of dressing. So maybe is it your parents? Is it, is it, what, you know, what is it that's made you sort of thinks so maturely, so quickly really? I think it has to be, it has to be the treatment that I've received throughout my whole life because of my achondriplasia. That's definitely made me or forced me to like myself. Because if I didn't, then I would like. listen to the people that hate me or the people that look at me funny, you know?

Like, I've had to find that inner strength to find a way to like myself because I didn't for a long time. Really? I was very depressed. I was really, I didn't like life. I hated waking up and just going outside. I had a fear of that because I knew the reaction I would get and then that would instantly bring my mood down.

And then when I started reading self-help books to find a way to change that, because after a while, I just knew that this is the body I'm in. This is the body I'm in. There's nothing I can do. I can only like myself. I want to like myself the way my dad likes himself. That's how I wanted to. That's how I saw it, you know? So I was trying to find ways to be happy to like myself, to.

respects myself and reading those, like reading the secret and manifesting that self-love for myself really, really did help. And I think if I didn't have my condition where I would have to find acceptance and find it in the, find it in the wrong places, then I wouldn't have learned to accept myself so quickly, I think. It's really important, and I do think, as a woman, we tend to put ourselves down more. We're looking out for other people. Often, this is a generalisation, but women are sort of wide that way, and we are more negative. And certainly, you know, with the work that I do with seeing people with hormonal changes,

there are lots of women who really have spent a lot of times feeling very inward, very down, their focuses on their children and then they have more hormonal changes that become perimenopausal or menopausal and everyone's saying oh it's because you can't cope with your life because you're working full time you've got three children you've got a parent that you might need to look after

so hang on no lots don't make them feel worse about themselves actually try and work out what the problem is and in many cases it's due to changing hormones but also like how can we give ourselves tools where we are the best version of ourselves that we love each we love others but we love ourselves and it's taken me a lot of time to just be more selfish

to actually think no you know we have to start the love from within and your book's very important at getting that out and in fact my oldest daughter's got these little notes to say tell yourself you love you like be really positive and and it's great you know smile at yourself in the mirror like look at yourself and and years ago my mother-in-law she's very positive. She's great to be around. But she said, I was dressed for dinner and she was a dress designer. So she, even when she writes, she remembers the color of the dress and the buttons in the bag that she had. And she said, I was going down for dinner and I got this picture of this woman. And I was like, gosh, who's she? She looks amazing. Then I realized it was a mirror and it was

me. She was like, and we were all just laughing because she's just written her memoirs. And we were like, gosh, Kay, like, you were always so like, yes. And when someone says, oh, that's, that's a nice outfit. She'll say, yes, it is, isn't it? Rather than I would go,

oh, you sure, do you really like it? You know? And I think, actually, having that, doesn't that make you feel better about yourself?

It does. It does. I think a lot of people need to practice positive self-talk. Yes. It's so natural to be negative.

Yeah, because it is. Not everything is perfect. No. We're in a very imperfect world with imperfect people and ourselves. We're imperfect.

So, It takes effort to find things that are positive and things that we are grateful for. But once you start seeing the positives in things, especially in a negative situation, it kind of lightens the mood. It kind of makes you feel like, okay, do you know, not everything's the end of the world.

Yes. You know, you're trying every single day. Life is exhausting sometimes, but you've got to give props to yourself sometimes. Like, I worked hard today. You know, I deserve something. Maybe you'd buy chocolate, who knows. But sometimes I like to treat myself.

But, yeah, I think it's even the hormonal changes in terms of when, like, let's say, before your period starts, I find it so, I find life so agitating. I find I find everyone agitating around me. And I feel like everyone avoids me. like the plague at my house. And then my period comes and I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, that thing, you know. Why is it a thing to get angry and negative before your period starts? It's so common. So have you heard of PMS premenstrual syndrome?

Yes. Yeah. So about 95% of women, i.e. all women, have some PMS. But what happens? I don't know if you remember any sort of charts you would have learned maybe in biology classes at school where your hormone levels fluctuate throughout your menstrual cycle. So you have like a little peak in the middle of your cycle where we release an egg. And then the second half of our cycle, so the run up to our next period, we have a rise in progesterone, one of the hormones that

arise in estradiol, which is a type of estrogen. And the progesterone especially goes really high. And then just before our periods, a few days before, it crashes and goes down very quickly. So that going down very quickly affects everything. cell in your body but especially your brain. So it's like your brain's going, what's going on? So you don't have the same dopamine, which is your reward hormone, you don't have the same serotonin, your happy hormone. There's other neurotransmitters in the brain that are affected by this big drop. And that manifests itself often with mood problems. A lot of people feel very low, very tearful, emotional, angry, irritable. Some people have physical symptoms. Sometimes people might have

palpitations or joint pains or acne, hair might just look awful, you know, those sort of of feelings and it's all related to the change in hormones. But the problem is, because it's about women, it's just normalised. It's like, yeah, you will feel like that, but don't worry, it's only for a few days. Actually, like, if you've got a really important interview or you're doing something really important, like, why should you feel not the best version of yourself because of your hormones? So often when we see people in the clinic, we'll just give natural hormones so different to contraception it's like replaced like for like often start just with progesterone because that's the biggest drop and lots of people just take progesterone for those few days

just to sort of stop that so plateau them a bit more the hormone levels sometimes some natural estrogen estradiol as well and then people feel the same all the time which is so much better because often with age it can get worse and the symptoms can be more extreme yeah yeah it is I think a lot of women would benefit from that because I don't think they're even aware that it's going on. They just think it's just hormones. Yeah, well, this is the thing. Oh, don't worry, she's just a hormonal woman,

just ignore her for a bit. And it's always a bit of a joke. But it's really difficult. And then when it's more extreme, so really has a big effect on people, it's often called PMDD, which is premenstrual dysphoric disorder, which basically means you're having a really terrible time.

But a lot of people don't, even join the dots and know that it's related to hormones. So a lot of women are given antidepressants or they're given contraception, which is a different type of hormone, and often it blocks like the serotonin happy hormone even more, so people then feel worse. So giving natural hormones, and we've known it for decades.

Like for decades, people have written about it, talked about it. And I was actually reading about the history about it a few days ago, and the first time it was written about, it went to a psychiatric journal, and the psychiatrist went, oh, that's just women's health, we're not interested. The gynecologists who control women's health because it's all about our periods never read psychiatric or psychiatrist journals. So then they still don't think it's a real condition.

Really? A lot of the time, I mean, it's generalisation, of course, but yes. So women are just like, well, who do I talk to? What do I do? How do I get help? But it's a real thing. And it's not just for the woman, like you say. It's like for everyone around us as well.

Yeah, it is to understand what women go for in terms of periods and things like that. But it's, yeah. So my oldest daughter has PMDD and she started off having hormones just for those few days and now she has them throughout her cycle but the same amount. And it's the most natural way of producing your hormone, you know, making them level. Because if you think like evolutionary, women are designed to just get pregnant and have like a good level of hormones. we're not really designed to have periods every month.

But it's the impact that it has on people and others. Oh, yeah. It's really, can be really difficult because they don't know what to do. They, you know. We don't know what to do. No, no. It's just happening. Yeah, it's just these moods are coming up and you're like,

I just feel low. You know, everything is frustrating. But once people understand, and, you know, in medicine, we try and treat the underlying cause, you know, if you had low iron, I would give you iron. If you have low hormones at a certain time, we'd just give you hormones. But it's very simplistic and it's very simple, but the hardest thing is women actually being able to access treatment

and talk about it to someone who understands. It is the access. I think the education as well. Yeah, totally. But I think if we improve on access, or if we improve the education, you can get better access to women. I think that's what's true.

changing and I think that's totally what social media is doing as well is that it's enabling people to have a voice because they're learning from others. Oh yeah. And that's something we didn't have before. You know, when I was, well, a bit younger than you, we didn't have internet. We didn't have phones. Like we didn't know, we just did what our doctor told us to do. Whereas now if someone says to you, oh no, you're depressed.

You're like, well, no, I'm not depressed. I'm low just before my period, but I'm not, I don't need antidepressants. then you'd probably go on social media and work out what others are doing and try and learn, is that me? Could it be me? Could that treatment help? And that's how things are changing and I think that's the only way things can change

which is good actually. I mean, some people don't like it but they don't have to follow you or they don't have to learn from social media, do they? Social media is something that has changed society for the better and bad as well but I think for the better in terms of education People know so much now.

Of course they do. They know about people, they know about hormones, they know about like diseases and just more aware about things. And I think it's saving a lot of lives, especially trying to search for things that might be wrong with them and then seeing communities that have the same condition as them. For me personally, it's changed me as a person because I never used to see people that looked like me whatsoever at all.

And then when I went on social media and I saw people that look like me, it was like, oh, I'm not the only one in the world that looks like me. Which is great, isn't it? Yeah, it was really cool. Like, it took me many, many years to realize that it wasn't just me that I had acondriplasia. My parents did tell me, but seeing is believing, you know? Totally. So never saw.

people with acondroplasia on TV whatsoever except from Chinese and chocolate factory you know so that's really empowering one of the things in your book you talk about your different commandments which is great and one of the ones I actually screenshot it because I really liked is about bullies and I when I was at morning's school I was bullied a lot and found it really difficult and some of the work I do now I still get bullied and it it takes a lot of courage and I actually to not retaliate. But just what are the words that you use?

Because they create. You have to rise above. Because you don't want to stoop to their level whatsoever. Sometimes I would because I'm just angry that day. But most of the time, it's just effort. You know, I'm not going to give, I'm not going to give them anything if they're trying to get a reaction or, you know. And it's more of a them problem, the new problem.

you know, people that look at other people negatively and comment on them and try to make them feel less than, it's not right. And they don't deserve good people's time. And the other thing you said was if it's still happening, get help. And I like that. You know, if it's at school, talk to someone, don't do it alone. And I thought that was really good advice as well.

It was so important to share that because I didn't do it alone. I don't know if I would be here if I did it alone. I had a counsellor throughout primary school, secondary school, college, university. I had somebody that I could talk to you about certain things. I could say this week, this person looked at me funny or this week I was upset because so-and-so. I could let it all out instead of holding it in. I don't have one now, I should really, but. I think right now, I've learned so much, so much about how to deal with my mental health.

And I think as well, when I get overwhelmed and upset, I've learned that it's okay to cry. Like, I used to think it was, you know, you're weak if you cry. But sometimes I'll just cry to Alan and then he'll be my, my, the shoulder to cry on, basically. And he'll be like, it's okay, it's all right. My mum hates seeing me cry. She starts crying as well and then I start consoling her. I'm like, who's crying here? You know, it's so annoying.

But yeah, I hate seeing her upset. So I cry to Alan if I'm upset about things. And, you know, that's like my therapy, really. It's so important. So before we end, I always ask for three, take him tips. There's loads of tips I want from you. But I think the three is how to be as positive as possible because you just, you know, there's so much positivity coming off you, coming off your book.

Like, what are the three tips for us to be more positive? First one is practice positive self-talk. Whether that is telling yourself affirmations or telling yourself what you're grateful for in a negative situation, just practice that. And then that can really help you have a positive mindset because then, then you're not seeing the negative side of life. The glass is half full, not empty. Another one is surround yourself with positive people.

When you're around negative people, they can really dampen your mood and you, everyone gets influenced by people. You know, if you're around positive people, then, you know, the sky's your limit. Another one could be to, go for your goals no matter how hard it is, right? And it's easier said than done,

but you've got to love the process because that's all we got really, because once the result happens, you're on to the next thing. You know, so you've got to really love the process of what you're doing, and then you can reach for your goals. Love it. Enjoy the journey and enjoy it when you get there as well. Exactly. Enjoy it when you get there. You have to embrace it.

Yeah. So important. Oh, thank you. It's been great. Thanks for coming. Thank you for having me. I enjoyed this. Subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive insights and updates on new episodes.