The Dumb Zone FREE - 2024 Cowboys Training Camp: Best Moments

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneA collection of the best segments and moments from The Dumb Zone's trip to Oxnard, California to cover the Dallas Cowboys training camp. 3 days in the DZ RV across 5 states, 2 hotels, 9 nights in an Air BnB together, 8 broadcasts, and 1 magical day on the tennis courts of training camp.Check out our YouTube page for the accompanying video. (00:00) - 8/5 Diarrhea Dan loves Love's (03:17) - Jake uses Blake's toothbrush (04:56) - Dan googles if you can pee in the RV (07:09) - The greatest sandwich ever (10:47) - Influencer Nora (12:46) - 8/6 Dan tries a McGriddle (14:32) - Dan spills his coffee (15:54) - Dental dams (18:21) - 8/7 The Air BnB (26:41) - Dan bought a new sponge (29:31) - Jake working out (32:15) - Jake's ass (33:35) - Simone Biles. Special Olympics? (35:38) - Dan's daughter dating Mike McCarthy (36:55) - 8/8 Dan's bear trap with cowboy hat doctor (37:46) - Jake in a Mahomes commercial (42:51) - Darts only (47:42) - Dumb Zone Darts only (47:57) - Has there been sex in space? (49:03) - 8/9 Jake brought his family (50:23) - Joe Biden addresses the Texas Rangers (01:02:45) - Jake is the worst roommate (01:05:34) - Dan's failed paraplegic joke (01:07:51) - 8/12 Show from Neptune's Net (01:10:15) - Dan at SoFi Stadium (01:13:40) - Spanish Larry the Cable Guy (01:16:33) - Robots are taking over (01:22:44) - Vintage Miller Lite ad (01:25:31) - Arresting someone in a wheelchair (01:28:59) - No Jake... that's poop (01:29:35) - 8/13 Jake tried to get us sick (01:31:59) - Blake's water scheme (01:42:03) - Press conference ads?? (01:43:45) - Wet dream tomato (01:47:24) - 8/14 Dan not looking forward to waking up early (01:51:40) - Jourdan Lewis (01:53:02) - We did it (01:53:24) - Outro ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright I never listen, I'm gonna listen I wanna listen to the dumb song I'm gonna listen, I wanna listen I wanna listen to the dumb song We are currently in... So we've been traveling for a day plus. It's Monday. August something. August 5th.

And I think we're in Milan, New Mexico. We're outside a Love's gas station? Rest stop? Truck stop? How do you term Love's? That's a truck stop. Yeah. And I'm finding why Love's, why people love Love's. It's nice. It's a truck stop. Yeah. And I'm finding why people love loves.

It's nice. It's pretty nice. Well, it's all levels. So, compared to some other places we've stopped. Okay, why do you like loves? Clean bathroom. I'm now Jake. I'm now a guy who has to go to the bathroom on the road.

And that is the number one criteria for me. If we're going to have the road, and that is the number one criteria for me. If we're going to have a stop and you've got to get gas somewhere, and I have to buy some munchies and all that, well, if you have a clean bathroom, I'm going to go to your place.

Love's is solid. Always has been. Love's, Bucky's, Flying J, those are all... I did not hit the little button on the way out of the bathroom. I do now. You know what? Thumbs up green. Because it has a green, red, and a yellow. Did you see that?

We're raiding bathrooms now? Yeah, when you walk out, you're supposed to hit the button. You know, the first time I saw that was at Choctaw, and I was like, I like this. But like we were talking about last night, I'm never going to hit anything other than green, which is counterproductive for them because if it sucked, I should be telling them that. But I don't want to get the guy in trouble. Here's the weird thing, too. We didn't stop at Love's.

We stopped at a gas station across the street, and Dan walked in and saw there was another guy pooping, and there was only one stall. Rather than just wait on that guy, which he was done 30 seconds later because I walked in, he walked three minutes across the street to use the other bathroom. I need my steps.

Yeah, sure. I got you. Yeah, we've got a case of diarrhea, Dan, on the trip already. Oh, no. I don't know that that's public consumption. I'm just saying I like loaves. I'm Jake now. Did you sleep through the night?

I did not. Just anxious about the trip? It was just somebody came calling. I had to go into the other room and do some stuff and then do some searching like, okay, what to eat if you have – oh, okay. I guess I'll have some oatmeal this morning and no caffeine. No caffeine? They say you should back off. I just had a small cup of coffee.

I was about to say. But it was half hot water. You know how I make my coffee. Yeah, that's true. I have one thing to confess. And this brings me no joy. I accidentally used Blake's toothbrush this morning. Ooh.

You guys are rooming together. Did you know? Yeah, that hit me hard this morning when I realized that it was on the wrong side of the sink. And I was thinking, there's no way you can mix up toothbrushes. They're the exact same toothbrush. But you put yours on the way far left and I put mine on the way far right. I grabbed the first one I saw. I just thought, oh, I must have put it over here.

It's day one. Now I've got to use it the rest of the trip. You do. And I tried to do the deal where like. I would buy a new one right now. I washed it off. You can just buy a new head. I'll get you one when we get back.

Buy a head? Yeah. It's a Sonic. Yeah, but I put a new head on it for the trip. It's like the electric one that you take off. Oh, okay. Dang it, and I used it this morning too. Yeah.

I realized it as soon as I was putting it down and then saw mine. That's like making out. We might as well just do it now. Yeah. But I tried to do the deal where I tried to dry it, you know, and I couldn't remember if he had put it on the right and that's where I got it or if it was just on the left because I was ready to blame him for putting it on the left. But your bag and your stuff was over on the left.

I know. You had decided that the left side of the sink was yours. Because you're a lefty. That makes sense. We give you the left seat when we're going to a restaurant. I tried to get a towel out. God, what a major fail. I was trying to dry it off.

I'm like, you'll never know. But then I accidentally put it back on the left side again because I couldn't remember where I got it from. It was, like, 3.15 this morning. So I was not all there. But, yeah, that was a tough one. So we're in an RV. And, dude, I think the three of us, well, maybe Blake would help.

But in general, like, Dan and Jake couldn't survive in here for 10 minutes. I don't know that we ever get out of the driveway, number one. But things go awry and I ask Jake, are the men working on this? Because Matt and Rob

are able to ascertain the cause of this problem or why is the generator down or what's going on when something's wrong. And so I had to go number one yesterday as we're driving along. Which is permitted. Well, I was embarrassed to ask if you can.

When you hook up an RV to a campsite or something, does it have water? So I Googled it. You didn't want to ask because you felt like you were a little fairy? Yeah. What'd you Google? Have you ever been on an RV ever? Can you pee on an RV while it's moving?

No. There's a tank. Yeah, you just flush it. At least you knew to put water in there, but now I'm learning that's because you Googled it. Well, there was already a little water in, so I thought, oh, it just is hooked up to some water tank. And then when I went later, it seemed very dry. And so I sneakily, but then you caught me. Because you're like, hey, dude, there's water in the fridge.

I'm like, no, no, no, I'm good with this. You're like, no, no, seriously, there's a cold water. I was wondering why he was getting up. It's like right there, and I go. Lukewarm room temp water. I'm going to pour it in the RV. Okay. Yeah, I got it.

Well, I should make a mention, too, that during that time, I accidentally, some number two came out. That's the problem with sitting down to pee, Blake. Was that the smell in here yesterday? Well, he was also farting all day. No, no, no. All of my farts were in the chamber. Well, yeah, I was in there.

I wasn't out here doing it. One of those smells lofted up to the top, and it was bad news. It was before our last stop, because then our last stop, I was very happy to. All my farts in the room went to a lugs. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, RV you. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, RV life.

Yeah. Yeah. Flagstaff, Arizona. Fstaff. Which has a beauty surrounding beatenness. It just feels like there's a lot of beatenness, but then there's a lot of beauty. If you're in Flagstaff, though, I don't think we can recommend Crystal Creek Sandwich Company enough. Yeah.

That was electric. How about Matt? I was disappointed in Matt's choice, and he's not even here to hear this. Matt, the driver, chose which place to go to, and I was thinking, you know what you're getting at Subway? Why not just hit a Subway? You know what it is, at least.

Because we're traveling i know but a beaten just strip mall like rat infested that is subway do you know like this is like whenever he didn't know that if you use the iCloud or Google photo that it organizes all of it by person by facial recognition and by by month. Nah, it's no good. It's literally doing all the stuff that you say that you used to do. It just does it for you. He doesn't understand how to just look at Google Maps and look at a star. If you look at Google Maps and it has 5,000 reviews.

I just know too many people like you that just say, I'll just give it five, five stars. No, that's the thing. I usually don't. I'm not going to rate that place, but the people that do. Have I ever taken you to a place whenever we've been on the road that you didn't like? I don't think so. No.

Subway. Yeah. He wants to go to Subway. The reason Subway is popular is it's consistent. You know what you're getting across the whole nation. You just look at the thing. It's got four and a half stars. You see the photos, and you're like, this is a real sandwich shop.

Well, anyway, wherever we just went. It was great. Five stars. Like, it's, as Rob said, probably the best tuna sandwich I've ever had. Wow. And I was trying to, okay, so, but it's a beaten clientele. You'll see a guy with more face tattoos than. That was shocking.

That was shocking. Like, Post Malone would be like, whoa, bro. And he was at lunch with his grandma. Yeah, appeared to be his grandma. oh you see a guy with more face tattoos than that was shocking that was shocking like post malone would be like whoa and he was at lunch with his grandma yeah to be his grandma and blake and i were marveling at the gentleman who a may december yeah that's i think that's more like may and then back around to february that he was old um but uh there was a guy in there with a service dog neither gentleman at the table had any sort of real handicap. Yeah. Other than the fact that the guy who had the service dog had in front of him what I think was like a 40-ounce beer mug, and it was dark beer.

Oh, my God. And I'm like, you're going to need that dog. Yeah. And I was thinking, how fun would it be to just, hey, 1230 on a Monday. A walk-me-home dog. Just get ripped and have this dog in a jacket. Be like, come on, Keith. I'll take you home.

You'll typically see Labradors be service dogs. This was just a run-of-the-mill dog that was not trained. He stood up to bite Jake when he walked in. And he's having to keep it back from people. All he had was a jacket that said service dog. I was like, I don't think that's a service dog. Do you remember the girl behind the counter that took our order? Yeah.

Okay, you know, got a visual? Yeah. I was trying to develop what, is there a story, like a timeline? Because we all agree that there are an infinite number of timelines and things that could happen to us from this moment on. I know where this is headed. Is there a timeline where somehow her and I, just in that brief interaction, fell in love,

and you guys just keep going without me, and somehow I'm here for the rest of my life in Flagstaff, Arizona? He's been on an RV for 24 hours, and he's talking like this. I know. It's sad. She was very friendly with me. You have to admit, she was flirting a little bit. It's day two.

You know how when you were a kid, you wanted to be a pro ball player? Uh-huh. Or you wanted to be a play-by-play guy? Okay. Probably same thing for all of us, right? Maybe you wanted to be an actor. Maybe you wanted to be on television of some sort. Maybe the news.

Well, this is what kids' brains have turned into now. As she has just swam from end to end of the pool, she sees mom is videoing. Oh, good lord. What happened? What did she do? What happened?

Slow it down? No. But the other ones are fine! Yeah, did you preview this video? Well it's not a video, I ripped the audio from the video and then I edited it and it was fine a minute ago. The other ones are fine. Let's see how this sounds. It's Nora. Can you spell Nora with me? N-O-R-A. Nora! Good job! Bye! See you soon for my next video. Bye. Golly. Yeah.

Yeah, the original one. She's already ready. Yeah. No, the other one's even funnier because she's giving instructions. She didn't say hit that bell? No. Like and subscribe. Okay, well, that's why I'm trying to find the other one.

Let me see if I can. That's great. Let's get her to do that for our videos. Yeah, she definitely can. But, yeah, she just straight up looks at the camera, and she knows that they have YouTube videos where you spell things out. By the time she's in college. I 100% believe that.

I 100% believe that. I 100% believe that. So that's what kids are doing these days. They all want to be on YouTube, and their brains have been absolutely warped by it. Kids are just following us. What is she doing? What did she say? Was she shouting the dark or in the net with the dark?

This is part of it. Why is it doing that? So I didn't ask you. How was your McGriddle? So I never had... You know, I'm... I prepare my breakfast every day. So I have the same thing.

It's like oatmeal. Apple. You know, the whole thing. And so now we're on the road, and he's ordering at McDonald's. First of all, you don't go up to the counter at this McDonald's. You now go to a big screen where you just touch it and you get to... Yeah, to be clear, this is a McDonald's at a gas station. This is not a standalone job.

But the kiosk is at most McDonald's now. I never go in, so I don't know. Okay. I'll tell you the last time I was inside a McDonald's. This is not a stand-alone job. But the kiosk is at most McDonald's now. I never go in, so I don't know. Okay. I can't tell you the last time I was inside a McDonald's. I just do that. I just would rather not

talk to the human. I can see what I want. I want this, and I do it, and we had to make an alteration to yours, so I just wanted that. I wanted to see it.

Yeah, so I said, yeah, do they have any kind of egg burrito or something? You know. And, yeah, so he's like, try the McRiddle. McGriddle. Not the McRiddle. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to call you on that.

Some kind of weird. Yeah. And so what this is, and once you take the sausage off of mine, it's egg, cheese, usually sausage. It's egg, cheese, usually sausage, but instead of the biscuit or bread around it, it is two little mini pancakes. 90% of the people listening know what a McGriddle is. That already have... Delicious. It already has the syrup...

Yeah, baked in. Isn't that wonderful? Inside it. What an invention. It did not taste like the healthiest thing I've eaten in a while. I can't stand them. However, it was delicious. Yes. it. What an invention. It did not taste like the healthiest thing I've eaten in a while. I can't stand them. However, it was delicious.

Yes. Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. I can't stand them. If you hand me another one right now. I did not order one, but that's what I got. So I'm walking up, and yes, one of the coffee, the carrying thing they sent, I don't know,

it was loose. Anyway, the coffee spilled on me. Not the one that I took into the McDonald's to throw ice in so it'll cool off so I could drink it right away. The really hot one spilled right on me. And so now as that happens, it's all over the RV floor. Blake springs into action. He goes and gets the paper towels. And then he's giving them to me, and he's wiping it up himself.

He's on his knees. Rob springs into action. He gets a bottle of water, and he starts pouring water on it to dissipate it so it won't be so sticky. So I'm looking at all these guys helping, and I look to my left then, and here's the biggest S-eating grin. He is smiling, he's laughing, and he's videoing me. You were?

Jake. I need that. Yeah. You'll get it. He's videoing, like, all these other people are really concerned about me and the RV and the whole setup, and Jake just can't wait to catch my demise and publicize. And you will see in the video, once Dan looks up and realizes, I go, not really in the mood, huh? What happened, Dan?

Not in the mood. So he was flying his plane near the Colorado River, which is where that strip of casinos are. And he noticed that there's growth around that area and growth around Route 66 right there. And that was because I think they had put a dam up or something that allowed people to move there. And he bought a motel. The Hoover Dam?

Was it that one? No, I don't think so. It's pretty close. Yeah. It was one I'd never heard of before. Okay, all right. Is it the God Dam? Look, I liked it.

It's the Davis Dam, which was completed in 1951. The Dental Dam. Okay. Yep. You know, sidebar, I don't even really know what that is. I've seen it in a movie. I can't remember which movie it is. It's two guys trying to hook up with two girls.

The Dental Dam is supposedly something you can use to pleasure the girl. It like a condom for a girl like for when you're going down on her yeah like you you like lay up like a saran wrap almost right yeah and then you can but what happened to it was it ever a thing like have you ever used one no but i once had somebody in studio presenting us with uh sex toys or something, and the dental dam was one of the things. Like, this can help you not get AIDS. Yeah, I mean, I think it's probably pretty hard to get AIDS. Hey, you got AIDS? Don't worry about it.

I got this saran wrap to lay on it, and I'm really into it. Yeah, I mean, condoms are still, like, again, ubiquitous, right? Everybody knows whether you use it or not. But dental dam just kind of either never really popped, as it were, or just went away. Maybe it just didn't. It's hard enough for us down there. I was going to say.

Without putting another barrier. Yeah. Yeah. But whether they had, like, scents, like, would it make it better? Like, ah, here's the Meadow Dental Dam. Why'd you choose Meadow when you could choose Big Mac? Oh, you'd go savory? A scent?

I was just thinking, what's a nice smell? Yeah, I mean, you're the one that's putting your mouth on it. Big Mac. McGriddle? I'd get a calzone or something. Yeah, he wouldn't go McGriddle. No. But I would, yeah.

I might, yeah. McGriddle. Yeah, if they want to get us down there more. Yeah, a little chicken piccata or something. Lay a McGriddle Dental Dam if she's worried that Blake isn't going down there enough. Order up. I was thinking you'd want a salmon one, but it's kind of redundant. No, no.

No, you want a break. Would you like a microwave salmon smell? No. I really like the Airbnb. Yeah, good pick. Yeah, it is a cute house. It's a nice house. There seems to be plenty of room for everybody.

Now, there is a bit of a... There wasn't a lot of controversy in choosing rooms. I took one that's upstairs because I thought, I'm going to try and go to bed as early as I can and, you know, I'll be out of the range of everybody else. First things first, it was decided that the elders would receive their own room. That was very nice.

Because there's two rooms that have one king bed in them each. Gracefully accepted that. And I just knew, look, we've got to give a just knew, look, we got to give a room to Rob. We got to give a room to Dan for their own room. Now, the second part of this is there are two other rooms that each have two beds in them. One being probably a queen and the other a fool. So you have a queen and a fool in one room, a queen and a fool in the other room. Four beds, three people.

And the three people are Matt, Matt Grimm, our driver, Jake, and Blake. And I guess I sort of made the executive. So do you sleep two guys in the same room? I sort of made the executive decision that because Matt is doing so much for us, he's going to get a room by himself. Yeah, that's fair. So even though there's two beds in there no one's sleeping with him so now we're down to one room with a queen and he seems pretty cool i'll bet

he'd accept sleeping with somebody else he would but i'm trying to you know he's been taking care of all of his expenses dude literally this morning i told him this i was talking to my wife and i'm like uh yeah uh matt tagger when you get home, dude. I just want to give you stuff. Matt's like a hardcore meal prep guy, and he's like a grill guy, and he can cook. Yeah. And I said, so while we're out today, he's going to go to the grocery store, and he's going to get chicken thighs, ground turkey, salmon. He's going to make food that we can just eat at the house every night if we don't want to go out, whatever.

She's like, how did you fall into a guy who's your personal driver and chef? It's great. I'm like, I don't want to go out whatever she's like how did you fall into a guy who's your personal driver and chef it's great like i don't know but what i do know is he needs his own room also because you don't want to be around when he facetimes the trucker his wife the porn watching couple yeah they might be watching porn together and well although he might just have to have it on in the background so that she could see it in Texas. Yeah. That's very true. That's very true.

Yeah. So that's the deal is that we end up with a room with a queen and a foal, and then there's like a garage situation. It's a former garage. Yeah, that they've converted into a little room with like a game room that has a couch. That has the little Galaga machine. Not the actual stand-up machine. That has the little Galaga machine. Not the actual stand-up machine. I'm a little disappointed in that.

Oh, I didn't see, I didn't really take note of that. Yeah, it's just a, it's a Galaga, but it's not the one. But they have, there's a big TV in there. Huge TV. And there's a couch. And so what I told Blake was, I said, hey, but there's also a couch in the living room that is much bigger.

And I told Blake, let's trade off nights. Like, I'll sleep in the bed one night, you're on the couch, and then we'll just keep taking turns, and then I won't be here Friday, Saturday, or Sunday night. Those are all bed nights for Blake. And he said, no. No.

I just want my own space. I don't want to have to move my clothes. I don't want to have to move my clothes. I don't want to have to move anything else. I just, I want to be isolated, and I want to have my own space. So if that's a sacrifice of sleeping on a couch, then so be it. But that couch doesn't look like it's long enough to fit your whole body without having to put your feet up on the armrest. You've got to fold at the knees to fit, but it's okay.

I'm not a picky sleeper. I can sleep on the floor. I've slept on couches. You ever slept in a bathtub? I haven't done that. It's not good. How about a parking lot? I have. In a car? Yeah. No. I mean

outside, kind of laying next to the car. You did that? Yes, I did. Perhaps. I mean outside, kind of laying next to the car. You did that? Yes, I did. Perhaps. I knew you fell asleep in a rough arena or something. I don't think I've ever straight up slept on concrete. I did that to get the Xbox 360. Oh, my God.

That you have here? No. We don't play video games. We're way beyond that. We're kind of two generations past that. Did you get your run in last night when you got home? No. Today's going to be a big day for you because we're going to be done early. I'm looking forward to it.

I still have not played a full game yet on the trip. And I think Dan and I need to play each other. Yes. That needs to happen. For sure. But to sum it up, I didn't want to just trade rooms. I didn't want to do all that. I just want to put my stuff somewhere

and just have my own space. My thought, Dan, was that we can do that, but when it's time to go to bed, you just take whatever you need for the morning with you. So that you don't have to go in there. He didn't have to come in there. I don't have to go in there. You just take your stuff for the morning

and you get going. Always the martyr. It's not a martyr. I'm actually being the picky one because I want my own space. That's just how I operate. What's mine? Okay, this little garage room is mine. Okay, then that's where I'll be. So what he's

doing though also is bolstering his case for DZRV MVP. Just because he realizes, boy, everybody's loving the new guy. Look at the new, oh, he drove every hour. He's doing this. He's making quinoa. He's preparing meals. Yeah. And we're almost overlooking the fact that this guy is stitching together video.

He's dealing with YouTube service. Like, they're flagging our videos. That's why our video wasn't out last night because we put some Olympics. We forgot about the Olympics. The whole Olympic thing. And I should have known that because I watch watch this CNN Five Things in the morning. You ever do that? No.

That sounds terrible. Top news stories just to let me know what's actually in the news. Clinton News Network? Then I can listen later to hear that Jake didn't cover the important space news of the day, which is those astronauts are still up there. Okay, well. And you've never mentioned it.

They've been up there for like 70 days in a row. I'm not a space.com guy. I feel like one of us is. They're still up there. Okay, well. And you've never mentioned it. They've been up there for like 70 days in a row. I'm not a space.com guy. I feel like one of us is. They're stranded up there. So if you want space news, I believe you're our space correspondent. They're up there. Do you not have. They have to grow potatoes.

Do you not get a subscription to space.com? Yeah. Okay. Of course I do. Well, then I think that's your. Of course I do. You don't put that on a company card, do you? Space.com.

It's like a newsletter. I don't think he's paying for it. Okay. No, no. I actually just donate from the company. We donate like a couple hundred bucks a month just to make sure space exploration stays viable. Yeah, well, I mean, you're right. Blake's doing a lot.

But he's doing a ton, and we're overlooking him for potential DZRV MVP. Yeah, I mean, we are. But I also think you're overlooking the fact that the reason that you two, Video Man and Dan, have your own rooms and there was no debate about it is because I stepped in and said, look. Bottom line, I'm not going on this trip unless Dan and Rob have their own rooms. That was a, you demanded that? Yeah, and so, I mean, we wouldn't even be at this point. We would have been against that a little bit. not going on this trip unless Dan and Rob have their own rooms. You demanded that? Yeah.

We wouldn't even be at this point had I not... So you're trying to bolster the voting for you. I'm just stating the facts. That's up to you. That's up to the public. I believe, though, when you said, I'm not driving back with you guys,

that was like saying, I'm pulling out of the running for DZ, RV, MB. You're not going to hit. How good. Now, Rick Sutcliffe once won a NL Cy Young, basically just pitching half a year in the NL. Okay, but since then. So how good is his performance going to have to be? I don't know. He can do it.

I mean, it may be like the only guy on the show who can immediately get FaceTime with like a guy who ranks six on the NFL's top 100. That's a good selling point. Try that, Matt. Well, we just need to see if he can reach the game's minimum. It's a good selling point. So we'll see. No, there's only one guy not in the running.

You. That's me. Yes. And you know what didn't help your case last night? I'm going doo-doo in the running. You. That's me. Yes. And you know what didn't help your case last night? I'm going doo-doo in the RV. Before we hear about... Like right there,

that's probably... Yeah. Before we hear about Dan, excuse me, Blake and Video Man's night last night, something you guys might have missed,

I believe it was just Matt, myself, in the kitchen with Dan. He's got some weird shit going on, obviously, in the kitchen with Dan. He's got some weird shit going on, obviously, like we all do. He's a very particular human being, and I love that about him. We're in the kitchen, and he says,

we just got home from the grocery store. We bought some basic stuff for breakfast and whatever, and he says, man, I wish I had bought my own sponge. I didn't want bought my own sponge. I didn't want to use the sponge, the old used sponge that was in their sink.

And Matt and I looked at each other like, you what? He said, yeah, I don't want to use somebody else's sponge as he's trying to clean out a cup or something. Because I wash dishes. Your own cup? He didn't want to. He was like washing a couple dishes. What did you have, like a cup? Like a glass? My two coffee cups and then I was going to

wash off my water bottles because I was a little bit sick when I was drinking out of those. And he didn't want to use... Again, this is probably a $2 million house. It's not big, but given where it is... I looked for what it was sold for then they did a bunch of updates.

It's in that one and a half range. And he's like, I need my own sponge? I guess I kind of get it. You don't know where that sponge has been. And that's his own personal cup. I know exactly where it's been. It's been on other dishes covered in soap. But if it's their place and stuff, that's one thing.

But if it's your own personal cup that you drink out of every day. Here's what you need to do, Jake. This is insane. And here's the thing. You have to understand, he's a voter for DZMVP. Who's what you need to do, Jake. This is insane, and here's the thing. You have to understand, he's a voter for DZMVP. Who's the most sensible person on this trip? Me. Matt.

Oh. And Matt and I locked eyes when you said that and thought, okay, this is too much. Your own towel, fine. Your own blanket, fine. Your own this and that, fine. Pillow, fine. Your own sponge? That is maniacal, dude. I don't know. You don't know where that sponge has been. Pillow, fine. Your own sponge? That is maniacal, dude.

I don't know. You don't know where that sponge has been. Thank you, Blake. What do you think it's been? You think people are wiping their butt with it? Maybe. You just don't know. Remember your Airbnb? You don't know what people are doing. And it's pretty rich coming from you, toothbrush man.

I'm not the one who cares. You can brush with my toothbrush every night if you want. I'll brush your teeth. I do it for my kids. I don't want that. Did you ever read Infinite Jest? No. Okay, then I'll just ask

if I can do what the guy did with that toothbrush. But? You're going to have to read Eight Million Pages to get to there. The biggest book ever. The toothbrush part is fun.

Oh, he's going to just Google it. He's going to cheat it. So, I'm cuddled up on my couch. Passive aggressive. And I'm also in the garage. I didn't know if you guys knew that or not. Passive aggressive. There's no air conditioning. There's just a fan in the corner. And this really tiny couch that I have to in the garage. I didn't know if you guys knew that or not. Passive aggressive. Where there's no air conditioning.

There's just a fan in the corner. And this really tiny couch that I have to hold up on. Was it nice and cool, though? Because it does cool down at night. Yeah, it's fine. But on one side is like where the – it's a garage door. That's very thin. And so I wake up to like this sound.

And so I wake up to like this sound. And then crunch. I'm like, what the hell is going on? And then it happens again. And it's Jake working out in the driveway with his kettlebell. And I can hear him doing his breathing. What time are we talking? It was not early at all. It seemed like he got his kettle bells and threw them up in the air

to make as much noise as possible when they hit the concrete. This is ridiculous. Oh, all the way up in the air. And then I peek out the window And there he is With his headphones on And a sweatband on his head And he is just

Grinding out there On the driveway Okay Well first of all In the front yard It was about Just so everybody can see me Forgotten country

Okay Look at me working out And you're saying it's not early So everybody's up already Everybody's watching him This is ridiculous All the neighbors are out I'll go to the backyard.

Look at him. And he's wearing a cut-off shirt. Look at my muscles. Look at my tries. It was 8 o'clock Pacific time. Like, it's 10 o'clock at home. And this is what I... So, okay.

Did he have, like, a little tripod set up in his phone filming him? I think so. So he could put it on on his gram? I didn't see that part. Oh, Matt was holding his phone. Maybe, yeah, he got Matt to film him. How late did you sleep? Why does that matter?

It matters because if I would have been out there at 5 a.m. Pacific time, maybe. You must have got in pretty late. Got in late, putting the video together late. Yeah, I mean, we just all have our different schedules. A little passive-aggressive, yeah. If he wants to give him a workout. All right, I'll go to the backyard. Fine, bitch.

Oh, look, you've changed his. Now you know the sergeant will beat you even harder if you reverse field here. No, I mean, I want him to be able to. If he wants to sleep until noon every day, then fine. I was just very startled waking up to that. I didn't think there was any way that you were still breathing is important!

Says Wim Hof. I just want to thank everyone because Blake was filming us as we walked into camp yesterday behind us, and I did not know that. I was unaware of this that's why we got to be looking for the six at all times then these two they're not they're not your friend well now you know what it's like when i have burning hot scalding coffee on my belly and and you're just laughing your ass off uh yeah well so uh i bent over to tie my shoe before we walked into camp, and Blake zoomed in on my ass.

And I would say about half the comments on Instagram are like, that is an ass. Okay. I did you a favor. That right there is some cakes. Did you see it? You know, you don't get that. No. You don't get that without.

I need to look at our Instagram. You've got to get on the gram, bro. You don't get that without being out in the garage in the morning knocking out some goblet squats with the kettlebells. What's our gram hand? DumbZone69. Okay. So just try to get a video of you all walking in,

and then just Jake bent over to tie his shoes, so I thought a little snap zoom would be the right move there. Kicked up, brother. You also put up 78 degrees Fahrenheit just to throw it in the face of. Who would do that? Weather's nice. I wouldn't do anything like that. Okay, there he goes bending down.

Yeah, okay. There you go. I got a wagon, folks. Picture of Simone Biles with LeBron. I think so, yeah. Okay, I don't know. We probably can't pop it up now. It's too late.

There's the one with Shaq, isn't there? Yeah. Is there one with Shaq? There's one with Shaq. Shaq is good. Man, and I saw it with someone. Oh, I saw it throw at that first pitch. You know, somebody did the first pitch.

She did a flip or something? She walks up to the catcher, who that guy is probably 6'1", 6'2", and she still looks like a tiny person. Yeah, 4'8", wild. Yeah. Like, is she technically a dwarf? I don't know which one you said. Were you going to say midget?

So I... Here's the deal. You were thinking midget. I was thinking midget and I was going to say midget because here's the thing, though. And then you thought, wait, should I not say that? I don't have a lot of N's in that community. Whoa. So I... You can't say N. Yeah, we don not say that? I don't have a lot of N's in that community. Whoa. So I...

You can't say N. Yeah, we don't do that one at all. We don't call Simone that. Sir. No, so what I'm thinking is, like, in my mind, I don't know, I think little person or dwarf kind of seems more offensive than midget. It does. So I like midget.

It's like, oh, you're a little person. Yeah, like you're a dwarf. No, that's Gimli in Lord of the Rings. Like, I'm just, I'm a midget, but I don't know. Yeah, dwarfism is generally defined as an adult, four feet, ten inches or less. She's 4'8". I know.

She's a dwarf. Should she have to compete in the special events? That's right. Yeah. Would she win? Oh, man. I think she would. You know how badly that would confuse the people that are mad about the XY chromosome boxer?

They're like, wait, what? And they're like, check the chart, dude. I'm 4'8". Must be this tall to get on that beam. The only way she could beat Michael Phelps' record for golds is by also competing in the Special Olympics. Do you think she would have won the balance beam in the Special Olympics even with the fall off of the beam? Probably, yeah.

Based off of her difficulty level? Oh, man. Kalashov looks great. Oh, that's a good one. I bet he's mid-late 50s. How about Troy? Troy is 60, right? You think?

They should be about the same age. I think he's about 60. 57. Oh, is he? Got to get older. But still, it's like Troy and your daughter, which I'm positive you would sign off on. That would be great. No, let's go back to Irvin.

Michael Irvin and your daughter. Oh, that's even better. Yeah, the playmaker? Yeah. Why not? We'll flame one up. Oh, that's even better. Yeah, the playmaker? Yeah. Why not? We'll flame one up. What's that mean? Oh, I found a 60-year-old.

How about your daughter and Mike McCarthy? If it helps your career, like Charo's. Are the rolls ready? Rolls. All these food stuff, huh? Like he's at... I don't know. You're just saying he's at Thanksgiving or something.

Another scary movie, huh? Hey, sweetheart. Watch someone else. Yeah, they're watching... Like anything. Watching Human Centipede 3. Like they're using the soundtrack to, what was it? I listened to it on the way, actually.

Cannibal Holocaust. Cannibal Holocaust. That's coming down the aisle. Yeah. That's awesome. What do you mean I'm being sus? Relationships in the business. We're bad at that part.

Well, no, but really think about it. From the sideline reporter's perspective, it's the guys who are the equipment managers, who are the team, the athletic trainers, who are the team doctors. And we've all been there since the 90s, the early 90s, most of us. Even the doctor with the cowboy hat? What's him? Well, that's Dan Cooper. And that actually is a shout-out to Dr. Evans, who had been the team doctor for many years.

Did I just step in a bear trap? After he had passed away. Okay, yes, I did. So that's why he did that. And also because his wife, because Dan was starting to lose some hair up top, and his wife said, you have to wear a hat or something on the sideline, because, you know, we're out there for, you know, six hours in the sun or cold. That's the worst.

It doesn't agree to disagree. Let's play the original Thrones sport coffee video here. There's quarterbacks, then there's Patrick Mahomes. There's coffee, then there's Coffee Plus. Introducing Thrones Sport Coffee. Let's get going. Let's go. Coffee plus natural caffeine.

There's Mahomes doing a snatch. Natural flavors and sweeteners, vitamins, electrolytes and more to help you get going and keep going. There's walking through the weight room. Walks right by James Harden. No matter your game, whether it's game time or overtime. Overtime?

Yeah, I know a thing or two about that. Hell yeah. Thrones Sport Coffee. What did you say to him? What was your line? Are you done for the day? And he's like, no, I know a thing or two about that. Hell yeah. What did you say to him? What was your line? Are you done for the day? And he's like, no, I'm just getting going. So I told you guys at the time that there was some – they film a ton of stuff in these commercials, and 10% of it gets used. So I hit up our buddy Cameron, and I'm like, hey, you know,

do you still have that video of me catching a pass and falling down? The brief backstory here again is you show up and they have a wardrobe and they told me to bring some of my own clothes, but they didn't like the shoes I had because I probably just had these on like, like Air Max's nice sneakers. And they're like, you need dress shoes. So they had a pair of dress shoes. I can't remember if it was size like 14 or 15 but it was two to four sizes too big for me they were clown shoes and i got no preparation for this so what you're about to see is they told me there was going to be a scene where he threw me a pass and i thought that's why would we be doing that? I guess I'll do it. It'd be cool. But it was real rushed, and they had us both sit down,

and if you recall, Cameron, the director, said, hey, I've got to change my lens real quick, and I didn't know this was part of the bit. So while we're sitting there while he changes the lens, Patrick starts talking to me and says, hey, why don't I throw you a route? So I had no idea what was happening, no preparation. I thought the lens change thing was legit. And this is what they made out of it, and this is when I fell down.

Quad alarm. Speeding. Speed. Speed. All right. Hey, sorry, you guys. I'm going to have to change the lens real quick. Y'all just take five.

So you don't think this is part of the commercial? No. Man, I'm just feeling a little tense the lens real quick. Y'all just take five. So you don't think this is part of the commercial? No. I'm just feeling a little tense. Why don't you run a route for me? I'm throwing it to you. Then I do. All right. Let's go.

Okay. So you're wearing khaki pants, dress shoes. Touchdown. Did you see that play? Yeah. All right. I want to watch it again. Yeah, I need to see this a few times.

But because... So right there is the point. No, I want to back up even to months ago after you filmed this commercial, you came in with a story and described it. And so when you described it, I'm going to describe now what I thought I would see. Okay.

Is, um, I don't know. I mean, I've been to the Clemson practice facility. So it is a, it's an indoor, it's like a giant gym, but it's a full-size field. A full-size football field.

So when you said I ran this route, I'm thinking Jake went 30 yards down the field and cut in. Yeah. And so he's way down a long football field, and he's taking long strides, and he actually reached out to fingertip catch a ball. I never said that. And then fell down. No. I never said that point at all. And then fell down.

No, I never said that. This is, you're like seven yards away from him. It's like 25. It's not 25. You're barely moving. Yeah. And the fall is even funnier. Yes, it is very funny.

There's no reason you should have fallen in that situation. You weren't like going full speed. You weren't – I just tripped on my shoes, man. A hundred yards down the field. All right, let's watch again. Straight up shoe trip. Jake acting.

Or not acting. A little late off the line. . a little late off the line. It looks like, though, you've... If you were to say, hey, I want you to catch and fall down, like, that's the way you would have acted doing it. Exactly, like the bears on the slip and slide. And then he did, though,

do kind of a roll, a tumble, right up into pop-up, kind of like a good slide into second and you pop up or something. Also, do you guys not feel like that ball was underthrown a little bit? It was. Like he threw it on my front shoulder. He's trying to protect you from the safety. And probably from the garage.

Yeah, you would have ran right through that garage door, and then you popped up and put both arms in the air and victory. That's awesome. Yeah, well, we do the show for the listener, and even though that's horribly embarrassing for me, I wanted to share it with you boys. Okay, so the last series of videos we have, this has taken the Internet and college football by storm

over the last couple of days, and it, of course, deals with our favorite Coach Prime in Colorado, who I have it on good authority, Mark Jones and RG3 calling Colorado North Dakota State week one. Awesome. And North Dakota State does not F around. No, they're good. As you may know.

Oh, really? Okay. They're the best D2 team, or whatever they call it now. Carson Wentz went there. Trey Lance. T Wentz went there. Trey Lance. Trey Lance went there. They might have five losses in the last five years. Goddard?

Dallas Goddard? Yeah. They've turned out some NFL players. So the initial controversy was brought about when Colorado posted the video that we're going to play here first and the caption on it, maybe it'll show up on the screen, says darts only, and then they put the, like, dart bullseye emoji with it.

But people thought, this seems fake. You got Shadur dropping back. He's in the pocket. Deep throw. Jump cut to the catch in the end zone. Okay. You can watch it one more time if you want. It's just a

weird edit. Why not just show the whole play? So they got the behind the QB. Launches. Cut to the catch. Yeah. And immediately everyone was like this is embarrassing. Does that mean it's doctored?

These are not the same play. Can I mention something about whoever caught it? We've talked about it before, but yes. The back of his jersey has his at. Yeah. Yeah, it's got his IG handle on it. Like at whatever. All their names, or do they get to choose which one?

Some people choose that. 82 has it also. Okay. Some people just choose a nickname. It's a little weird. Dion sends mixed messages. Like it's all about team. Because I'm old school, and it's about team and this and that,

but you could do that. Yeah. So because people thought it was fake. It is fake. Well, we'll get to that. A couple college football programs. Actually, we're going to play a couple. There's about 50 of them.

And their social media teams got to work. This first one that you'll see here is from Arkansas. Okay. As they quickly got in the lab and made their own darts only video. Quarterback drop it back, throws to the flat. So it's clearly edited. Like a five-yard out from the quarterback, and then they cut to the ball in the air on like a 45-yard nine route.

Yeah. That was pretty good. Everybody's making fun of them. And I watch a ton of these. They're all pretty much like that one. This one, though, the Hawaii one is the funniest one, where they have their quarterback drop back to throw, and then they use a clip of one of their offensive linemen

catching a bobbled pass from like 10 years ago and running. Darts only. Oh! The big man, number 69, catches the ball and rumbles for about 25 yards. So everybody started making fun of Colorado by doing their own. Yeah, there's a ton of them. And even like I was telling Blake this morning, the college football game he plays,

I've seen a bunch of them where a guy will catch a shotgun snap on the game, turn his throw vision all the way to the sideline in the crowd, throw it in the crowd, and then stitch together a video of somebody catching. Everyone's having fun. But Colorado, not going to take this lying down. So after everybody started making fun of them, they decided that they would put out a video, a two-video tweet,

that just had like a shrug of the shoulders, and it's both views. So we can play the quarterback one first and the end zone one after. This is the quarterback view of the original. This is to prove that it was real? Yeah. Okay. You can kind of see it gets caught there by 10. Uh-huh.

And then in the next one, they show the end zone view, which looks like the same play. Yeah. I'm sure it is. But it did just look a little weird. The weird edit was enough to get people being like, what are we doing? I mean, it looks like he just misses his guy really bad.

But I think he just runs under it. Okay. But also. Oh, you know what? You were looking at the inside guy. Yeah, the inside receiver. Yeah, the outside guy was pressing outside shoulder, got up, and then got around.

Okay, okay. The inside guy definitely looks like he air mailed it over to that guy. He's stemming to the post. So, I don't know. It was just funny because every – you know this is the sort of thing that your social media department for UAB or whatever is like, finally, we get to do something cool. There's my today on Twitter. That's awesome.

That is awesome. Thanks, guys. Where the motion man, Mahomes, weaves out of trouble, sidesteps, throws, and gets the conversion. Touchdown. They're doing it up there? This is a guy and a girl. Is it?

Yeah. Yeah, why not? Yeah, bro. What happens in space? Has there been sex in space? Because they experiment on everything. Hmm. I don't know, dude, but that would be an extremely unruly pullout.

You're just like, boo! What? Catch it, catch it, catch it. Get it. Put it back. Put it back in. You might need a net. Yeah. It looks like mercury.

Yeah, exactly. And you also, you've been up there probably seven months. Oh, so much. Yeah. Or you're trying to aim at something. Do you think there's a... No, move your face. Do you think they have the...

It's settled down. My first call home was yesterday. And Sunday? Five days in. How do you like that? It's weird. It's future you. No, it's not.

Yeah, I think it is. No, it's not. I love it. He's right. When the kids get older, there's no need to call home. I used to call. I used to call my wife. Look at this guy.

Loves his wife. Loves his wife guy. Let's get you a bumper sticker. I miss you so much, baby. Oh, man. Maybe just the bottom part of the boob. I can't stand it. Why don't you guys fly out here so I can see you? Oh, would you please? Okay. I miss you so much. All right. We're going to address this head on. We can put it on my part of the credit card. We're going to address this head on. I'll pay your plane ticket.

I was told when I proposed that my family would come out here once we, late in the game, decided that we were going to go to Cowboys training camp at you guys' whims. And I believe the exact words were something from Dan like, dude, do it. That's great. This is not the ticket. Nobody's going to from Dan like, dude, do it. That's great. This is not the ticket. Nobody's going to make fun of you.

We get it. He bought it. He listened to me. Gotcha. What a moron. Why would he ever listen to what I said? Oh, I hate you two so much. And I'm beginning to hate him too.

No, it's going to be great. It's going to be great. You can go to Disney. It'll be fun. If I didn't root for the Phillies, I'd be sleeping alone. She understands this part of the joke. Anyway, from football to basketball to hockey to soccer, many doubters wondered if baseball would ever join them.

Well, to paraphrase Corey Seeger, I guess we do know. No. No. Okay, so I guess he's saying what? So football won a title, basketball, hockey. Did the burn win? I don't know. Maybe.

The sidekicks? What did Reiner used to? The sidekicks were dominant. Yeah, that was a fun. Like in 1984 or something? And you know what's weird about that is when he bungled the phrase, ironic right there, he leaned into we do know. So he clearly knows the thing, but he flipped it for no reason?

He's being told all of these things. He didn't write any of this. Many doubters wondered if baseball would ever join them. Doubters. To paraphrase Corey Seeger, I guess we do know. And also, that's not what paraphrase means. Paraphrase means you take the phrase and make it shorter. He just said the same thing and just made one of the words opposite.

You old fool. I guess we do know. Oh, my God. The American League West was as tough as it's ever been. That can't be true. The Bears won like 115 games in the, like, 15 years ago. Yeah, that's not true. The American League West was as tough as it's ever been.

The division race is decided on the last day. Although you may not have clinched the division, you certainly got the last word in. After sweeping Tampa Bay and Baltimore. By the way, it's not Baltimore. My dad's from Baltimore. It's Balmer. All right, so it's funny, too, because Trump will go off the card,

but then he actually has, like, good bits. Sure. Whether they're funny or whether you believe in them, whatever, it's, you know. When he realizes, hey, wait, this word is triggering something in my head. I'm going to go off and do my windmill set now. Yeah. Or I'm going to do my electricity dialing set. Sharks. He's like, he saw a word that triggered his but he's got much less of a basically zero after sweeping

tampa bay and baltimore by the way it's not baltimore my dad's from baltimore it's balma okay you got your revenge on the Houston Astros. Then you beat Arizona. Become World Series champions. You set some records along the way. Your standout pitcher, Nathan, where are you, Nathan? There's no way you know his last name.

So that's going to be a theme here. He doesn't know the last names. So that's going to be a theme here. He doesn't know the last names of anyone. But I think they wrote it to make it seem like he knows them so well that he only uses their first name. Right. Your standout pitcher, Nathan, where are you, Nathan? Nathan, where are you, big man? By the way, I don't know who the hell Nathan's haberdasher is.

I like his dress, man, I tell you. Putting him good, Nathan. Major League record with five wins in a single postseason. Garcia, another Major League record. Can I stop that real quick also? Doesn't know his name. I've heard that word. Haberdashering?

I don't think that's a common. That is so him telling the story about Corn Pop and the chain in the 50s when he had to defend himself. Does the word haberdashery, is it a 50s? Clothier. Okay, yeah. Like, what are you going to be like, how would you pay for those, in rupees?

Trade some myrrh? How would you pay for those? In rupees? Train some murder? By the way, I don't know who the hell Nathan's happy-dashers is. I like his dress, man, I tell you. I'm a cool cat, man. I like that.

I like a happy-dashers, man. Looking good, Nathan. Looking good. Why is he like morphing into a southern black guy? Hey, looking good, brother. black guy? Hey, Lungood, brother. Hey, man. Major League record with five wins in a single postseason. Garcia, another Major League record.

Doesn't know his first name or just looked at it and said, I'm not going to. I'm not doing that one. I can definitely pronounce the second part. Most RBIs in a single season. It's RBI. And then he said season. My job, I'm always looking for runs, batting, and ends. What?

What did he say? No one really even gets – he didn't even get a courtesy laugh on that because no one knew what the hell he was saying. I don't think he knows what he said either. In my job, I'm always looking for runs batted in. Want to break it down? In my job, I'm also looking for runs batted in. Always. Always looking for runs batted in.

It just means like positive outcomes? Like successes? Like policy passing? Do it again. No. In my job, I'm always looking for runs, batting, and in. You know. Oh, my God, dude.

I have never heard someone bomb this hard in my life. How did we run this guy out here for as long as we did? My job, I'm looking for runs, batting, and in. And your manager, Bruce, earned four World Series as a coach. Again, no last name. No. He's just taking the easier name. Yeah.

Also, he's called the manager. What'd you tell him, Joe? I told him he's going to need another finger. Or else he's got to put the fifth ring on his thumb. Oh, no. Dude. Holy hell. Or else he got to put the fifth ring on his thumb.

I mean, I don't know how you do that, man. Hey, man. I don't know how you do that, man. I told him. God. Please don't. I told him he's going to need another finger. Or else he's got to put the fifth ring on.

See? Hold on. They thought, okay, he's not funny. He's not told a funny joke yet, but I know when to laugh because he stops. Yeah. So they think he's done with the joke in the middle here, and then he just plows through because he's like, I'm not done with the joke.

You're going to really laugh at the thumb thing. I told him. Listen right here. I told him he's going to need another finger. They laugh. Or else he's got to put the ring on his thumb. I mean, I don't know how you do that, man. They had already laughed.

We're like, we already laughed at that joke. Three seconds later, we're not laughing again. We're not. It's like a – You didn't execute the beats. Do you say bless you if your wife sneezes? Since you love her so damn much. I guess sometimes. I do.

Yeah. And it's only because she will let me know if I don't. Yeah. And passive-aggressively, whatever. So I'll just like, yes, I don't care about it at all. If I sneeze, I don't need to hear it. Fine. Like if you sneeze, I don't think I'll say it to you.

It doesn't matter. I would be very taken aback if you did. But, yes, if I've laughed already at a joke. So if she sneezes and I go, bless you, and she sneezes again right away, I've already done it. Yeah, it's kind of the laughter version of if you're in an office place. It could be anywhere, really, that has an elevator. And you're like, all right, see you, man. Dap up.

And then you end up walking the same. Yeah. Damn it. I'm not going to do it again. So now I'm going to act like I don't know you for the next 20 seconds. Yeah. Or else he's got to put the fifth ring on his thumb. I don't know how you do that, man.

Hey, man. Anyway, as you know, over 50 years since this franchise left Washington, you're back in the nation's capital as world champions, and you deserve it. From fighting hard to make the postseason to finally winning the first ever title, I think there's a word y'all embody. Okay, what do you guys think?

Also, hold on. You don't say y'all. He doesn't say y'all. I think he does now because he's now talking to some Texans. What word? Grit. I was going to go grit. Grit?

Okay. For fighting hard to make the postseason to finally winning the first ever title, I think there's a word y'all embody. Here we go. Resilience. That's just a longer word for grit. You're a hell of a resilient club, man. Man.

He does love saying man. Oh, yeah. That's his folksy. You're a hell of a resilient club, man. As you know, your GM, Chris, pulled out a pad of paper in San Diego. Again, he doesn't say Chris Young. You're a hell of a resilient club, man. And as you know, your GM, Chris, pulled out a pad of paper in San Diego

and asked the Rangers staff if they believed you could win. It's clear if they didn't answer right, they were going to get fired. But anyway, it's a good whole organization. And all of you answered yes, and you meant it. You never gave up. You never, never gave up. And all of you answered yes and you meant it. You never gave up. You never, never gave up. And you kept the faith. And like your favorite band, Creed.

Okay. All right, so an intern. And like your favorite band, Creed. Hold on, pause it. What's he going to, what? So they never gave up. Like your favorite band, Creed. What's he going to... So they never gave up. Like your favorite band, Creed. What's he leading to here?

You guys took it higher. And like your favorite band, Creed, you took each other higher. Yeah! Hit me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew it. All right, that's enough of that.

Okay. Took it to the high, man. So congrats to the Rangers for getting to go to the White House. How were people seriously going to have to vote for that guy? Me included. Can we do a break, Rob? Let's do a break. Oh, God.

Give me a second. Oh, now we need a second. Now we got, oh, God, give me a second. Give me more Biden. He was on Facebook. He's already thinking about kayaking. That's all he's doing. Yeah.

He's messaging. Hey, anybody coming to the kayak thing? Single? All right, let's hear this one more time. He never, never gave up. And he kept the faith. And like your favorite band, Creed, they took each other higher and higher.

They really did. But let me close with this. Along with being champions of the world, you're the first and foremost champions in your community. The support you give the community. I mean it sincerely. It matters. It matters a lot.

Local schools, feeding and educating children. It matters. Cultural centers, celebrating Latino history and Latino culture which everybody ought to start learning more about. What? How do you tie that in? I mean, I'm on board with learning about... Well, parenthetic, do you know

that 28 out of every high school student is Latino? What? What? He's Latino. What? What? Am I supposed to solve for X?

28. Out of? Just an equation? You're definitely missing one of the numbers or variables. Holy shit. That's awesome. Holy shit. That's great. Okay, here we go.

Shampoo and conditioner. I don't like to use other people's thing. But there's two of them. One says conditioner, but there's nothing on the other one. The other one's shampoo. You just have to assume. Well, it could be body wash. I know, but what if I'm assuming wrong?

What if I'm putting body wash on my head? There's a bar of soap in there. That's mine. Well, I'm using it. Let's just share everything while we're here. How do you feel about that? I don't love it. I would not want someone else using my bar of soap.

I just assumed it was from the place. Here's the worst part. He's a hairy dude. And he's not using a washcloth. And he's leaving hairs on the bars of soap. Well, what you saw was probably I shaved this down. Yeah. Because I had to get it out of this.

I did do that for you. I came in there this morning, and I'm like, oh, my God. My beard is, like, in the, you know, it didn't drain. I did clean it up for these two. The next day. Well, I thought, yeah, I saw it this morning before he showered. I hate this trip. Anyway, I'm going to buy that

and toilet paper. The one bad thing about this place is they do have thin toilet paper. Have you noticed that? I think ours downstairs might be okay. Oh, is it? Because I had to go up to yours this morning, and I was like, yeah, Dan, there's no way Dan likes this. Now he's in your bathroom i

was using my mind how do you like that jeez how is it your toilet because it's up there right next to my room you have one right next to your room he was in there for a very long time so i'm like dude i gotta you guys are so weird who cares if somebody matt's using it i don't know but he's cool do you have to use my bar of soap? Well, if you leave it in the shower, yeah. Okay, I'm going to take it with me. Okay. Because I had in my shaving kit, I had one...

It was a shampoo from a hotel. Oh, I think I stole it at the casino. You guys need to stop stealing from hotels. No! The little shampoo in a bathroom in a hotel, you're allowed to take that. Fine. Are you using my soap, too? I used the shampoo to wash.

Okay. I didn't... Anyway, I'm going to buy shampoo and toilet paper today. I'm sure Jake will run up and use it. I might! You might.

I'm going to lock that toilet paper. I guess I just thought this was a family. But, I guess not. On this day a family. But I guess not. On this day in 1969, actor... The bar soap doesn't need to be touching your balls and then my balls. Why?

Who cares? It just... You might as well just cut out the middleman. I have no problem with that. Just have sex. Yeah. Yeah. We've already made out the toothbrush.

I'll moose it. Right. You made out... Yeah, you've been... Now our wieners are touching. Heading toward that area anyway. Let's just sleep in the same bed. Maybe some of this magic I got will rub off on you down there.

On this day in 1969, actors Sharon Tate and others were found brutally slain. There are two Russians up there right now. And you know, this has been a little bit blown out of proportion. It would suck to be stuck in space. I will give you that. There's nine people up there. Oh, I thought it was just two. They're the only two astronauts, which I assumed if you were...

So you're saying it's a good time up there? No, but I would assume, like they say that there are nine people on the crew. I'm just assuming if you're in space on a spaceship, even if you're not the driver, I don't know, aren't you an astronaut? Hmm. Like, doesn't just going to space make you an astronaut? Well, not every person on the fire truck or ambulance is a paramedic. Are you sure? Yeah.

I think they are. I think they are, too. Some get paid more because they are paramedic. Are you sure? Yeah. I think they are. I think they are, too. Some get paid more because they are paramedics. All right. Well, I'm just telling you, there's a bunch of people up there. So are the paramedics the ones with, like, they got one arm and stuff? Maybe it's just on the fire truck. Hold on.

Nope. Bang a T. Bang a T, because here's the thing. Not only he's looking to make a paraplegic joke, but paraplegics are not fucking amputees. What's the Paralympics? I feel like the Paralympics guys don't have legs and stuff. I'm just thinking about our nation.

And these poor souls that are stuck up in space. It means that the Paralympics are the parallel games to the Olympics. Oh. So how do you get your steps when you're up there? You don't. Yeah, they must be way out of shape. But we're giving him way too much of a pass on this. Just like Jake.

Did you think that paraplegic meant that you have had an amputation? Yeah. It means you can't use them. But they don't just cut them off. You ever seen somebody in a wheelchair? They have legs. I thought they just had a blanket. It was a bad joke and not even a correct joke.

It was a pretty good joke. Anyways, there's stuff happening. Who's house? Who's house? Who's house? Rose Browns! Rose Browns! That there was a little gnat sound, as they say in the biz, from yesterday when we were at SoFi Stadium, the home of Cowboys v. Rams. Right now, we are coming to you live to tape from Neptune's Net in Southern California. We are on video today as well.

So if you're just listening to this sometime in the future, go check out our YouTube page, The Dumb Zone on the Tube, and you will see some impressive, what do we have going there? We got a drone up in the air? That's the drone, baby. That's why I wanted to get out of here so early. Rob. So while I was asleep on my couch,

Rob was flying this drone over the ocean. You didn't sleep in the bed? No. He wouldn't even let us move the bed. We were going to move the smaller bed into his little room. I washed the sheets. Well, yeah, you can do that on your own.

Why didn't you move beds? He just likes being in there. Blake is staying in the garage in our Airbnb, but it's a very nice garage. It is. It needs no alterations. It's fine. Okay. Anyway, so if you check out our YouTube page,

you will see Rob, a video man very impressive uh drone shot again we are uh we're parked on the ocean we're right across from neptune's net is this a big moment for you me yeah can you just feel the power? Oh, yeah. No, I feel like, I'm not sure, though. I'm torn. Do I want to stick it to the man and go rob a bank? Or do I just want to surf? There's so many things you could do when you're out here.

And we are the Dumb Zone. We're out in California. We came here to cover Cowboys Training Camp camp and today is the day after a game the cowboys played yesterday so they have a day off so there's really nobody at training camp and we thought well we're mobile you know back in my day you take one on the chin like you just broadcast from a desolate well Well, no, I'm saying back in my day, if a team gave up a late lead, you know, on a last-second type loss, you're back out there the next morning getting it right. Oh, I see.

You're saying that's what the Cowboys did? Yeah, get in the ocean, you know, go see your family. No. We saw much of the first half. Much? It was more than half of the first half. Much? It was more than half of the first half. Okay. Right?

Well over half of the first half. We were there really to see. Also known as the first quarter. Well, no, I was there until almost halftime. But I left after quarter one to go get some potty and some shade. And our driver, Matt, for the trip, so accurately said, he's not coming back. And I didn't.

And he didn't. Yeah. We were like in the highest. We were in the worst seats in the stadium. And they weren't just really high. They were also the only seats like indirect sun. Yeah. And so, look.

We went. We went to the game. We came. We saw. We kicked some ass. We saw Trey Lance really not look good. No. Just not.

No. You're the second overall pick, huh? It's still third. Third overall pick. Oh, okay. Well, then he looked kind of good for that. I love that we're going to be able to do that the rest of the time that he's here. I keep thinking he was the second overall pick.

Cooper Rush looked like he could have been the second overall pick. Maybe a little kiddie competition. I don't know. Because Cooper Rush, we were so far away. Like the first drive, there was a real long bomb thrown. I'm like, whoa, okay, trailer. Oh, okay. That's Cooper squinting at the number.

We were so far away. That's Cooper Rush. And they wouldn't, I waited for the replay. Because they have this huge video screen, just like the Cowboys. And they would not put, they don't put a replay up of anything positive for the Cowboys. Yeah. Yeah, that sucks. I just thought, it's not like TV.

You're not going to replay every play. It's America. It's America? Not America. It's L.A. What did you think of the stadium? It's Ram's house. It's very cool looking.

Yeah. Have you been? No. Oh, okay. No, it's really cool looking. Yeah. Have you been? No. Oh, okay. No, it's really, really cool. Like, as we were walking up, we're like, this blows Jerry World away. Yeah. I don't know how much longer AT&T has left.

Right, you think they'll? Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised. They're probably on the Rangers' plan, right? Yeah, Frisco or something. 20 years, maybe? Yeah. Orisco or something. 20 years maybe? Yeah. Or they'll pit Frisco against Arlington, and Arlington will be like, we can't lose this. Yeah.

It's only going to be.1 cents for your grandchildren. Yeah. And the economic development that it'll bring. Complete lies. It'll bring another Hooters. But Jerry will buy it. I think she's getting there. She wanted to do the big roller coaster, and I'm like, trust me, babe, you don't. It's a little much for you.

But I did laugh at this, though. One of the first rides we did was Cars, the movie. And it's kind of like a – it's similar to the teacups in the old park where you're spinning around and, you know, supposed to make you dizzy. But in the movie cars, there is a, a car,

an anthropomorphic truck voiced by Larry, the cable guy. And he's kind of like, well, he's just doing Larry, the cable guy. His name is Mater and he'll, he's a tow truck.

Right. So for example, when we got to a finding nemo uh ride finding nemo dory is voiced by ellen ellen does not lend her voice to the ride the way that many actors and actresses do it's a knock-up or knock-off rather dory and i could tell right away ellen doesn't need to check larry the cable guy's like just what do you got what do you got take it for me so uh i heard it i couldn't get my phone out in time so i stayed back for the next group so i could play this for you here's the initial larry the cable guy as mater from cars um pre-game for the ride. Hey, friends, it's Mater.

Now, listen up while I give you this important secret message from Mater. Hey, that's me. Please remain seated. Hold on, I'll meet you up there. Hand, arm, feet, and legs inside of the tractor. It's not on the kit. I'm telling you, these little fun-loving tractors got their dicks and tires on. Okay, so that's simple enough. Keep your hands in.

He's doing his bit. You can hear me in there like we got off and I'm telling my wife and I think it was Carter at this point, like, just go ahead. I need to hear this. So here's what came next. What you have here is Larry the Cable Guy speaking Spanish, but he has to keep the Larry the Cable Guy accent. Oh, okay.

I couldn't tell what he was saying. Hola. Bienvenido. Por favor. Excellent. Manos. Intra. Intra. Hola, Madota.

We're far. Far to see the sky. Manos! Intra! Super canos! I could not stop laughing. That's awesome. He just has to stay in that character. Yeah. Because, like, it doesn't sound weird when Dory switches to Spanish or when Ariel switches to Spanish. But when Larry the Cable Guy has to do, I was like, dude, I got to go back.

I saw something kind of interesting on the, after the tour, I went back and hit the bathroom. And then I was going to go walk around Santa Barbara a little bit. But walking up a path, I spotted this. And we have a couple walking their dog. This is like the Boston. What's that thing called? So it's a robotic dog. Yeah, so I stopped to catch some video.

Boston Dynamics. Would you have kicked it? And here it comes back. Or it's coming back to me. I stopped the video, unfortunately, because the guy stopped and had it sit. So they have one regular dog. Yeah. And then one Boston Dynamics looking robot dog.

Now we're calling them regular dogs. And what's the point of having a robot dog? Just to show people that you have a robot dog? I was going to say, what do you think? What are you going to do with it? That's the same Waymo spinner thing. Yeah. I was noticing that too. It must be some sort of proximity thing or something.

So there's your RoboDog. We should, since you mentioned that... I don't like that at all. We suck. We can go out and order a little bit, but yesterday after the game, Blake booked a Waymo. Do you remember Waymo? I do, and I'm not going to do it this game, Blake booked a Waymo. Do you remember Waymo?

I do, and I'm not going to do it this time, Blake. Oh, your heat joke? Oh. But now I think it's funny. A lot of sport, by the way. Now he's not going to do it. No, so what it is is the driverless Uber. Yeah.

Basically. Autonomous vehicle, which apparently there's a wait list for, but the subbie that we met up for and had breakfast with before the game, he invited us, and we got to skip the wait list. Oh, nice. Like Matt Grimm, our driver on the trip, he signed up on the wait list. He hasn't gotten approved yet. No.

And that was like two days ago. Look at that. So, yeah, it's really, you know, it's kind of felt like the first time I got in a Tesla. Yeah. It feels like that on the inside, right? Everything futuristic. It feels computery. And then there's just no driver at all.

It has a 360-degree camera thing on the top of it, like where the taxi sign would be. Dude, my thing is moving. It goes fast. And yeah, it's pretty amazing. It kind of welcomes you in. You could change the music. You could put soothing music at a massage. Blake was laughing because he fired up.

He just hit some hip-hop, and then it got us some Kendrick, and we had N-bombs flying. We had some Future going on. That was funny in that car. What did you think? The car was going to be like, hey, whoa, I don't like that. Well, I don't know. It was just –

Well, when you get in, it feels – yeah, massage music, and it's like, yeah, this is the future. And then, yeah, we threw on some future. Yeah, then we went – It just felt funny. We just had it drive us, you know, what, five or ten minutes away just so we could get – That's kind of funny. That's awesome. We found a close fish taco place because I didn't want to wait an hour and a half to get back to town to eat.

Did you ever feel like it was close to danger or pretty solid? There was one time in particular where it was trying to turn left across traffic and there was a car also turning the other way. So I didn't know if it could see the cars beyond it or not. But it did fine. Yeah. But also, when it did turn left at the light... Yeah. It did what I feel, at least in Texas, is an illegal move.

Because it did a wide left and went to the far right lane. So it turned left onto a three. It left its lane. A three lane. Yes, you're supposed to go left into the tight lane. Yeah. There it is right there, actually. Yeah, right here.

And then switch over to the right. And that's how my daughter got in the exit a few weeks ago, if you remember. Well, to be honest. Somebody was turning right and they went wide. While illegal, to be honest, that's the most human thing you could do because everyone does that. Yeah, and especially because the taco place was on that side of the – Yeah.

So you wanted to get set up there. That's wild. It was cool. It was very cool. Yeah, I would have no problem taking those instead of Ubers. Let's go back to the dog, though. Back to the robot dog? I mean, what are we even doing?

Yes, it is just to say, like, hey, I've got this, and probably the guy is somehow involved in... He probably invests in it, right? If you had some practical use for it, though, what does it do for you? Like, if it picks up your dog's poop, I'd walk around with it.

You'd pay $10,000 for it? No, but... That's what I'm saying. your dog's poop? I'd walk around with it. You'd pay $10,000 for it? No. That's what I'm saying. I mean, how cost-effective could anything that this thing is doing be? It's just to show people. And yeah, the real... Here's when we'll know

that we crossed the Rubicon, right? You know how when you read a story about a police dog that was killed in a shootout or something in the line of duty, but they charge you like you killed an officer? Yeah. The second that I get charged for battery of an officer because I punted a police robot into the ocean, that's when I'll know I'm moving to the woods, I'm writing a manifesto. Yeah, the police robot, we understand that. That blew up that one guy, right?

Yeah, Dallas. But once they make it like a dog and it has sort of a... Right, and it sits and rolls over. They give it a name, not just Bombot. I mean, I guess the point is if you want a dog, but you want to be able to travel a lot, you want to go on vacation and not have to pay for boarding it. What do you do?

Like fold its legs in like a table? You don't have to clean up. Oh, I got one for you. You walk in the morning. You don't clean up. The best is going to be when you go to the airport or, in our case, a sandwich shop in Flagstaff and somebody has their emotional support robot dog. Right.

Yeah, just listen to this podcast in 10 years. You were male. And then we got some today in Twitter. I think we're going to hold Dion, have we decided? I think so, yeah. If you were, you know, scoring along at home, from left to right on your radio dial, what do you do on your phone?

Which direction are we moving on your phone? Left to right. Are we? We don't do, like, Chinese? Is that like up and down? How do they read? Right to left. Let's go now to Jake.

Oh, what? You're an international guy. You're a Chinese expert. You've been closer to China than I have. Although I could go. Oh's go now to Jake. Oh, what? You're an international guy. You're a Chinese expert. You've been closer to China than I have. Although I could... Oh, I've been there. I could go... Oh, you've been to China?

Sort of. I've been to Hong Kong. You know, they have a weird situation going on, but I've been to Hong Kong. I dug a pretty deep hole once. You know what? I have something I can play for you for that right now if you want. Okay. I'm going to throw a curveball at you, video man.

What do you think about that? Because you could dig to China, I've come to understand. The Miller Lite Vintage Ed. You don't have to be quick. It's just that it just came up. I did not think that Dan was going to mention the idea of digging to China. That's just how we roll, Rob. This ain't the buttoned-up world that you've come from.

Right, with the big men. This is the wildness of... I'm ready, bitch. All right, so this is something that was sent to have to say, this ain't the buttoned-up world that you've come from. Right, with the big men. This is the wildness of. I'm ready, bitch. All right, so this is something that was sent to the group chat, so we're just going to call it group chat. Check in. This is, I believe, probably like an early 80s, maybe late 70s ad for great-tasting, less-filling Miller Lite.

All right. You got a... When I played baseball, I could hit the ball halfway to China, so I figured I could do the ball halfway to China. So I figured I could do the same thing with a golf ball. No way. Greg the Bowl Lizinsky. Blast one. There's nothing he liked better than cold Miller Lite.

It's less filling and it's got that big taste as hackers appreciate. Where'd that go? Now they're looking for the bowl. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya.

Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya.

Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya.

Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya.

Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya.

Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. Hi-ya. The chairman Appears to be playing golf

Yes, it lands on a green halfway around the world With four incredibly stereotypically dressed Chinese people Perhaps the chairman And one guy A rice hat The caddy is wearing the rice hat As I recall, those were very pop-cultury, very funny commercials You're wearing the Rice hat. Hi-oh! I know you know. As I recall, those were very pop-cultury,

very funny commercials. Yeah, that one really got me. The Rice hat. I got a Rice hat. Yeah. Why? I don't even remember. Did I want to grow rice? Or I just thought that hat was badass.

Jake played against a guy in flag football that wore one. He was on my team. And then somebody mailed you one. Okay. I should have brought that out here. That'd cover the neck. You can see why they wear it. Yeah.

That's my bit. Very practical. Yeah. So the second one I'm going to show you, if you have it, Rob, is this is definitely a Today in Twitter because it's a year old. And it's hilarious. It involves a Today in Twitter because it's a year old and it's hilarious. It involves a guy in a wheelchair but I don't think we're necessarily

making fun of the guy in the wheelchair but have you ever wondered what happens when the cops have to arrest a guy in a wheelchair? I never wondered that but now that you say it Yeah, like do they have to bring a special van? Do they have to be, like, extra nice to him?

Well, this guy is a 32-year-old man. This is in Miami. His name is Bryant Amasta. He's a YouTuber and recording artist. This is about a year ago, and I think this was just recently the anniversary. And this is the body cam footage of a very aggressive suspect who's in a wheelchair, and it's kind of like, it looks to me like when a

three-year-old is messing with you, and you're like, stop, get. You're like, I could fuck you up if I had to, but you want to be, but you have to be cool, right? You can't just punch him, and the cops can't just dip over his wheelchair and be like, figure it out now, cripple. So they're like slapping his hand away

i was laughing about this all weekend take me you got a little guy for the first time we are seeing body camera video when miami-dade police say they were assaulted by a quadriplegic man a case so unusual even the judge at first appearance seems surprised. I have truly never seen a case like this. It happened May 1st. The guy wheels out of his driveway and wheels right up to the cop and just starts hitting him. Now his music video. This is his music video.

So the wheelchair guy does music videos. Yeah. But he looks messed up. Yeah, he's a quadriplegic. And he starts ramming his wheelchair into her. So they're arresting his mom. When we interviewed Amasta back then, he told us this. Why did you zoom in on the back wheel? I hit them with my wheelchair.

Did you? I absolutely did not. The report stated that you spit at an officer, right? So I have I suffer from acid reflux. So I know hold on and I spent like the totally different direction But this is the video He just joysticks right up to the Because he was from his motorized wheelchair. Now they're carrying him.

Oh, no. They towed it. They towed him on a flatbed. They detect someone joking that they were going to put him on the tow truck. Officers later seen inspecting their legs. Now it looks like that officer trying to build up a charge there, looking at his leg, kind of like the Scotty Scheffler. Scheffler. And I'm told that Corrections did not have a transport van

to transport Amasa with his wheelchair. What do we do with this? And that's why officers on scene called fire rescue to take him and called a tow truck to take the chair. So there's another hearing in this case scheduled right here for tomorrow. We're in Miami. I'm here. This is so Miami.

He's just backing up. He's backing up. He's just backing up. Jenny, thanks a lot. He's backing up. It does seem like he might want to. He's ramming him. I know. They're like, dude, stop. Deal with it like the three-year-old, though, and I wouldn't have taken him in. I know.

I mean, and then, yeah, his whole, like, I just have acid reflux. Yeah. And they go to the video, and he's like, fuck you, pig, and just spits from his wheelchair. It's just, I don't know. That's so Miami. I noticed Dan perked up about three minutes ago, but I'm probably about to catch a contact. Somebody, that's not the smell of...

It smells very potty right now. That's the smell of burnt mids. Can we turn the air conditioning off? Something, because... Oh, the air conditioning makes... It's bringing it in. We're sucking in poop. But it's going to get hot.

It's not poop. You think we're sucking in poop? I'm smelling burnt herb. It's poop. It's poop. You think we're smelling poop? Yeah, because they're getting the crap out of the porta-potties. I'm getting high from the poop.

I actually believe that works. Okay. I've heard that before. Here's Jim. Also, some people are aptly named. Like Jim Bob Cooter. He named. Like Jim Bob Cooter. He seems like a Jim Bob Cooter. I knew a guy named Steve Cook.

He was one of the cooks at Bob Evans. His name was Cook, and I was always like, whoa. My mom's maiden name is Polster, and they worked in upholstery. Polster, really? Yeah, like they worked in like outfitting. Sorry, I think I have COVID. God damn it. I know. If anyone was going to do it to us, it'd be this guy.

Can he give it to us again? Probably. If you actually think you have COVID, what if you weren't here? I know. I got masks in my bag. I'll wear one if you want. I do. All right.

Just to have Jake on the... You want black or you want blue? I don't care. Black would match your fit. Oh, no, I only have black or white. Don't say fit. Is that your extra toothbrush? Yeah.

I hide it in there. In your backpack? Just in case Jake uses mine. I got white and black. I don't care. I'm sick. Well, white has the two straps that go all the way around. That's a beating.

Just whatever. Just give it to him. Just for you. He's breathing on me. Let me give him the black. Okay. Hold on. Just whatever.

Just give it to him. Just for you. He's breathing on me. Let me give him the black. Okay. Hold on. See, I always use black because they say once you use the black one that you enjoy the black one in the future as well more than the white one. But you're saying Driver Matt looks like a Matt.

No. Oh. Grim. I'm saying he's not aptly named. His name is Matt Grim. Oh, okay. Yet, I found him. Sunshine. He's not aptly named. His name is Matt Grimm. Oh, okay. Yet, I found him... Sunshine.

He's not overly cheery. I'm not going to wear this. He lasted one second. The health of your friends and coworkers doesn't matter to him at all. I don't care. It's not happening. Dude, I don't know. It's not cool.

He's going to get on a plane. I'm not going to get any tail that way. Tail. Uncle Dan. Jesus Christ. If we all have COVID. It's very, very possible. I would like to file a complaint to HR. Doesn't exist.

What if you just leave? Phil will fill in. You're leaving anyway. Just leave. Anyway, Matt is not grim at all. So Blake's got so many bits going on. We need to talk about some of Blake's bits on the road here. Okay.

Number one, and I do have an email regarding this, it is your obsession with this water. So what water are we dealing with here? Whenever I travel west, I see this in Coloradoado i see it in phoenix scottsdale and then here in california their their water is better it's called arrowhead and to me idiot brain just thinks like maybe there's a difference between mountain water and our lowly spring water but i think it tastes so much better than ozarka does at home it's just a little more crisp and it could just there could be no difference at all but at least in my mind it is worth hunting down

arrowhead water and taking as much back as I can. Okay, so now you're setting... You're already responding to comments because you're talking differently than you were talking yesterday. But when you said it could be the same, I will read an email from MJ who says, Dan, was listening to the show. I heard y'all talk about the White Olympics

and Blake brought up water. As a water connoisseur. Oh, shoot. What a fellow connoisseur. I agree with Blake that spring water is superior. Where Blake has it wrong is that Arrowhead is special. It's literally just Ozarka. Ozarka, Arrowhead, Poland Spring, Deer Park, etc. are all Nestle brand spring water

and are all just labeled differently by region. Ouch. Please make fun of Blake for me. Why are you telling me this? The more you know. I look forward to like one, that's like one of five things I enjoy in life is just a bottle of Arrowhead water.

And if I want to think it tastes better than the rest, then so be it. One of four now. It's not hurting anybody. 104 now. Also, there's 0% chance he could tell the difference between any of the Nestle waters. I would go as far to say... I'll call Bush on that. You want to line him up, I'll tell you the difference. That he couldn't tell the difference between

spring water, artesian water, or purified tap water. Test me. Bring it. Thanks for listening to my spiel. Would love to talk more water sometime. That's probably not going to happen. Thanks for listening to my spiel. Would love to talk more water sometime. That's probably not going to happen if I had to project it out. We had H2O. We had the best numbers ever.

I'm going to ignore I heard that and just think Arrowhead's awesome. You're supposed to ignore the comments. Bottle water company ordered to cease using mountains. You can't use the mountains? No Company ordered to cease using mountains. You can't use the mountains? No. That hurts. That does hurt. Yeah. See, I just pictured in my head they were going up to the top of the Rocky Mountains

and just putting a little cup there. Why would you go to the top? There's no water at the very, very top. Just leave me alone. Bottom. Whatever. Yeah, I'd go somewhere in the middle. It's pure. No, but, okay, well this might the reason you now have to believe it, tell Jake, tell the class what we're doing here. Like, oh, how about this?

Take off your headset and walk into the bathroom. Is it in the bathroom? It is. And tell me what's in the shower. So while Jake was... Jake is now walking over into the RV's bathroom. Fucking Christ. What?

Tell the class what you saw. There's probably six or seven, 24 packs of Arrowhead water in there. There's eight. Eight. He bought those last night. I thought you had another, like, four. Are they still back at the room? They're in the back bedroom.

Oh. And if all goes well, I'll get eight more tonight. So his goal is to mule back 20 cases of Arrowhead water because they don't sell it in Texas. Why 20, you ask? And apparently they're going to stop making it. I assumed 20 is about the weight that Jake was on the way out. He didn't want to slow it down.

When he said, oh, you're mulling all this water. It's going to cost us in gas. I said, uh-uh. There's no Jake on the way back. I know, but I had projected the costs without Jake in here. I did that calculation. Oh, you did? Yes, the gas savings.

You owe the company. All right, I will. No, why 20, though? Or tell them why you're bringing all this water back. And why in small bottles? Because you could have bought big bottles. Yeah, so here's my con. There's a delivery company that will bring you or deliver the five-gallon waters.

And that's what I have in my water cooler at home is the big five-gallon. He has a big water cooler in his gaming room. But if we're to look at price per fluid ounce, it costs way more for that delivery company to deliver it and all that other kind of stuff. Vons is running a deal. If you buy four cases of the 24-pack,

it's $4 per case. Oh, so regularly $4.99. No, regularly it's like $7.49. Oh, okay. $4 per case. Down to $3.99. Alright. He saved $16. Quite a deal. However, I did not know about the California recycle tax.

Oh. So they will charge you up front like a dollar something per case. And if you return all the bottles you get that money back but i won't so it ends up being a little over five dollars per case but still if you're looking at price per fluid ounce still a better deal but so he's got these big giant five gallon uh things for his water cooler he's got to individually open every bottle and pour it in there and i'll do that when i get back, yeah. How many bottles fit into one thing?

It's like a case and a half, so we're like 33 or 34. Okay. What a beating. What a beating. Think of the, yeah, but it'll be worth it. Think of the payoff. To who? I'll have crisp, cold Arrowhead,

and if I want a tea or an instant coffee, you just hit the hot water button and I got hot Arrowhead for my coffee. I'm going to be set for the next year. I'm going to feel great. My skin's going to look better. I'm going to be happier. I'm going to live longer. That's hilarious.

Yeah, but then I'm not looking for... So you're barely saving any money, really. Like, overall, $20. Like, $5 per five-gallon thing. Yeah. You're saving $20 to mule 20 cases. That's 20 cases that you have to go to Vons, buy, take in the car, take it back to the thing,

put it into here, just load it all up. That's 20 times you're walking out of the store, then picking it up again, putting it in the car, picking it. It's a lot of lifting. The biggest beating will be when we drive across the country, get back to South Lake,

no telling what time, and then now I've got to carry 20 of those cases and somehow fit them in my car. But you planned that. No, I know. I'll make it happen. And if I have to borrow a little bit of your garage for a little bit, I can make multiple trips.

Okay. It's going to be so worth it. Although if you leave some in the garage, what if I just take a bottle or two? That's fine. I can pay my tax or my tariff. Because I knew, like, the other day, you were buying, you bought like four of them three days ago. Four cases or whatever that first day.

Yeah, as soon as we hit. And then I was at home in the evening, and I wanted my night water. Sure. I like to have a night water. If you get a little thirsty when you wake up at night or something. We're all familiar anyway so then uh there was no water bottles there was only like two core water bottles or something and i'm like i think these were bought special like by robbers i didn't want to take

someone's special water bottle yeah that's uh apple cider vinegar in those core water bottles yeah oh good thing i didn't take them. Yeah, that's Matt's stuff. Okay, I almost took one and like, let's use this. But then I'm like, there's only two of them. It looks like piss. Okay. It kind of tastes like piss. It's not water.

Anyway, but then I was like, where's all those? Where's all the water? I wanted to, I thought I could just grab a nice mountain spring water, but no. Where do you guys fall on, like... Oh, that's right. He's got his own fridge. That's very true. We talked about this the other day, but, like, where do you guys fall on the...

Like, the people that tell you, you know, no caffeine after noon, no screens after X. And one of them is, like, no water six hours before bed. Like, I just can't do that. When's the last water I usually have? Like a full drink of water. I know when mine is. When I'm going to sleep. Yeah.

Probably three hours before. I always take some water to bed. Yeah. I'll have a sip before bed. But about three hours. Six hours would be good. If you could pull it off. I can't. Do you wake up in the middle of the pull it off. I can't.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night? No. I do now. Oh, you do? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, if I was waking up to go pee, then maybe I would rethink, but that's not an issue right now.

So, like I said, Blake has lots of bits going on. You have to know this other one too. So speaking of his room, it's a garage, but... It's a nice garage. It's a nice garage. He's got his own room. He has to sleep on a couch where he has to kind of curl up a little bit, so it's okay. It looks terrible. He actually doesn't have to sleep there.

It's catching up to me, but it's okay. We've got two days left. Two days left. And then two days... We're going to try and make the trip back in two days. Totally possible. Okay. Well, we got to get Dan up early, though. What's the leaving time?

5.30? Has Matt told you yet? What's he going... Matt's the kind of guy who wants to leave at 2 fucking a.m. I think he would like to leave around 5. 5? Yeah. But think at 7 Dallas time. I know, that's tough. Think of it like that. I can do it. I think he would like to leave around five. Five? Yeah.

But think at seven Dallas time. I know, that's tough. Think of it like that. I can do it. Is this an actual question, or was this put there on purpose by Dion's people? Coach Prime, Alex Ramirez, My Life Sports Radio. This is a non-football related question. I recently had a condition, medical condition, about two months ago,

and thank God I had Aflac. What the mother fuck? Are they inserting ads into press conferences now? Okay. I feel like if they are, you'll remember where you were the first time you ever heard one. I've literally never heard anything like this in my life.

About two months ago. Hold on. Thank God I had insurance. Right. The specific carrier. But if we are trying to get on Dion's good side so that next, you know, later in the fall when he's calling on people and he's passing over the CBS guy because, oh. Who covers you?

It's the Aflac guy. Amazing. It's hot spice. And thank God I had Aflac. I'm serious. You're an ambassador for him, a spokesman for him. How important is it for everyone to have Aflac as part of their lives? Oh, dude.

No, that's the question. Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. That's the question? Aflac! I thought it was like an intro. It's the intro and the question. The gaps that we can't cover. I mean, Aflac

is phenomenal, but not only are they phenomenal to people like you. You want me to keep going? No, I want you to throw your computer into the sun. We have press conference premium where we can skip these ads.

That's, that's the worst thing I've ever heard that a lot of people do. I definitely have done it but I think people in the south do it more which is

they hear lyrics to songs and never really look up what the actual lyrics are. So, uh, this might be the best case of that I've ever heard. Do you listen to a lot of rap? I mean, here and there. I like old rap, though.

I don't listen to much new rap. What's old to you, old rap? To me, it's like Jay-Z and Tupac. Okay, let me tell you something. First of all, Bill Maher, that's not old rap. Old rap is Grandmaster Flash, Run DMC, Cool G Rap. Jay-Z's still putting out albums. That's not old rap at all.

Tupac, mid-era. Okay. Do you feel like he's a guy, though, that really has a grasp on the history of rap? He thinks he is. Old rap to me is Tupac and Jay-Z. Tupac and Jay-Z are not old rap. Yeah, that's when he was 50. Yeah, that's like contemporary

rap. Not new. No. You've heard of Jay-Z. Yeah, and Tupac. I've heard of both of them. I just don't listen to them like that. He says that one song, Jay-Z's in. He's like... You ready? This is New York State of Mind with Alicia Keys.

Concrete jungle, wet dream tomato. You know, about New York. Wet dream tomato? That's not really what it says, but that's what it sounds like, and that's what I know it by. Wet dream tomato. Concrete jungle, wet dream tomato. Wait, I thought he's into I know about. Wet Dream Tomato. On Creek Jungle, Wet Dream Tomato. Wait, I thought he's into Jay-Z. But you know, that's been going on for a very long time

where we hear lyrics and then we think. They sound like something else. I thought he stoked on Jay-Z. No, I mean, he's correcting it, but she's kind of right. Like, I'm going to play it for you guys now. I thought it was. So he's saying those are not the lyrics? He's correct. Okay.

He's correct. He's just also saying that Tupac is old school rap. Which is, it's verifiably not. But you know the song we're talking about, right right can you hear it in your head yeah the new york thing yeah yeah where dreams are made of concrete jungle where dreams are made of not wet dream tomato

let's see if we can find it. Wet Dream Tomato. You're in New York. What are they really saying? Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Made Of. Okay. Wet Dream Tomato. do you're in new york what are they really saying concrete jungle where dreams are made of okay wet dream tomato and to her it's just straight up he says that one song jay-z's in he's like concrete jungle wet dream tomato I can't hear it anymore. That's good stuff. My room is an absolute mess, and so every day, these fucking guys, especially Matt.

Okay. He's the problem. Uh-oh. First blemish for Matt? Oh, no. The campaign takes problem. Uh-oh. First blemish for Matt? Oh, no. The campaign takes a hit. Migba. Matt is great, but.

But, you know, Migby. So he, the whole thing is, and I know what they're doing behind my back. I know these guys. They huddle up. Who's going to tell them? And then they all nominate Matt to tell them because Matt doesn't have to work with me next week. Okay. And so Matt, this was like five days ago.

He's like, yeah, we've been talking about, I think we might be able to make the trip in two days because it was a three-day trip out here. And I knew Blake had planted this in his head because Blake's got to get back to his wife. He has to see his wife. What a homo. I know. Yeah. Because Blake's got to get back to his wife. He has to see his wife. What a homo. I know.

Queen. Jeez. We are wearing on each other. Go on. So Matt's like, yeah, we're thinking about leaving, and we're going to leave at, he said it would be 530. And he goes, but that's 7.30 Dallas. And I thought, you know what?

I mean, I don't prefer that, but I want to get up, get moving, eat. But that is when we left to get here. So I think that's fair. I am pretty much staying on Dallas time. I'm still waking up at 7. Sure. 6.45 or 7. That's when I've been

getting up every day. I'm actually sleeping great out here. Okay. So, I'm thinking, okay, I can do that.

And then we talked about it again like a day or two later. And it was like, oh, yeah, yeah. So we agree, we're leaving at 5. And that's 7. And I'm like,

I know he specifically said 5 because I put it in my head the other day that it was the exact time we were leaving on Sunday, so really my schedule didn't change, but okay, all right, and then in my head I'm like, I guess I can adjust to that. All right, I'll give these guys that. Fine. And so we're at dinner last night, and then our writer friend was asking what we're doing and when we're leaving and stuff, and he's like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, we're leaving at 4 a.m. Thursday. I'm like, wait. He's now backed it up. Yeah, didn't even do the half hour on that. No, didn't even half hour me. And now it's just like we've already all talked about it. Hey, Rowdy. These guys are all nodding and everything's cool. You didn't even half hour me. And now it's just like we've already all talked about it. Hey, Rowdy.

These guys are all nodding and everything's cool. Hey, what's going on, man? Hey, dude. You want to hop on camera real quick? Remember when you were in that strip club? Yeah. Say hi. It's Rowdy.

It's Rowdy. Rowdy of the Cowboys. There's your display monitor. I think he was not the guy at the club. No. That was a different Rowdy. Yeah's Rowdy. Rowdy of the Cowboys. There's your display monitor. I think he was not the guy at the club. That was a different Rowdy. Yeah, probably so. Yeah. Although maybe he wants to be known as the guy at the club.

You can go. You don't have to go. You just stand there. You want to sit here? Do all you want. He is Rowdy. All right, man. What were we just talking about? Oh, yeah.

So now I imagine they're going to be pulling me out of bed at, like, 2. Yeah. Yeah, I'll call you. You should just stay up. The thing is, we had said... Don't look at me. I thought it'd be funny. I was thinking, if we could clear the RV bed...

Yeah. I will absolutely go sleep there, pack tonight, and then all of a sudden i'll like kind of wake up because i'll feel it moving a little like a child yeah and i'm on board with that then i'd never have to move all right want me to do that want me try and sleep in the rv bed you're gonna hate it yeah so yeah so just to be clear out there so yeah they're gonna move all their stuff around uh completely reorganize all the equipment that he brought out here. He's got all his gear back there. He probably can't go to sleep.

And there's six cases of water on the bed. I'll get up. There's 518 pounds of water that he has to deadlift so that Dan can get a little hour nap before his next McGriddle. I'll get up. What's Harbaugh like? Oh, man. We're very amused by him. Really? Yeah. He's one of my favorite persons. Yeah, well,

no, I love that he... I like to wear the same thing every day. Does he do that? Yes, he does. Okay. Khakis with a black belt. Okay. And he wears his cleats on the airplane, on the charter planes. Really? I swear to God. That's a true story. What on the airplane, on the charter plane. Really? I swear to God. That's a true story.

What's the point of that? Game ready. Get the mindset. You see your head coach on the charter plane with the fuck – I'm sorry. Excuse my French. I think you're fine. Okay. You're good here.

With cleats on, like, it's like, oh, shit. We want to go play a football game. You know what I'm saying? Like, that is him. He's intense 110%. Do you take baths? Sometimes, yeah. A little Epsom salt? Yes, Epsom salt, absolutely.

Would you take a bath? See, this is not the debate. My debate, baths are fine, especially if you have a nice-sized tub. I'm taking one as soon as we get home today. But he'll take one in a scummy hotel that we're at. That's kind of psychotic. Yeah, that's weird. That is getting a bad stuff.

Imagine all the people that are in that. That's what I was thinking about. The disgusting feet. Don't. I like that. So you just get straight off anything. You take clothes off, nothing, just get in the water. Correct.

What? Yeah, little bubbles. No. Yeah. A nice glass of vino? I don't know. You know you can catch stuff like that? And, uh...

Hey, we did it. Yeah. We did it, guys. Yeah. Cheers for us. Us. Us. Us.

We. Boy, what a peter out. Yeah. Adios, mofo. We gotta go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video. Matt Dallas, Dan, Jake, Blake, Video Man Driving in an RV named the USS Party balls from South Lake to Oxnard

To go to Dallas Cowboys training camp The Dumb Zone crew taking it to the next level Stopping Albuquerque, Flagstaff, and King Matt Dallas driving Blake playing video games Dan wishing he flew Jake happy he was flying home. Yeah, man, recording it all. Starting driving up 287 to Amarillo. The big Texan 72-mile stake. Let's go, Jake, on to Albuquerque to see Walter White. Let's go to his house in the car wash

on the Flagstaff and Sedona. Don't forget Winona. Dumb Zone's standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona. Route 66 along the way before we get to King Man. Let's see some cool stuff. Painted Desert, Petrified National Forest,

Sedona, Arizona's there in Williams, too. Then the Mojave Desert should've stayed in Flagstaff. Let's keep partyin', Blake's still on the UC door. Haven't hear a word from him, cruisin' in Oxnard. Let's go Cowboys, how about them Cowboys? When we get there, let's go surfin' burritos, Spencer's and maybe a little Ludacris. Let's go. burritos, spinsters, and maybe a little ludicrous.

Let's go. Dumb Zone Nation, support your boys. We need some dumb zone stuffy so the shows can go on forever. Hey, old man, recording it all Starting driving up Tweet A7 to Amarillo The big Texan 72-ounce state Let's go, Jake, on to Albuquerque to see Walter White Let's go to his house in the car wash On the flagstaff, it's a donona, don't forget what all the dumb's on

Standing on the corner end Wind winds low in Arizona Route 66 along the way Before we get to Kingman Let's see some cool stuff Painted desert, petrified National Forest Sedona, Arizona Is there in Williams too?

Then the Mohambi Desert Should've stayed a flagstaff But let's keep partying, Blake's still on, it's there in Williams too. Then the Mohambi Desert should have stayed a flagstaff. But let's keep partying, Blake's still on the NCAA. Haven't heard a word from him, cruising in a boxcar. Let's go, Cowboys, how about them Cowboys? When we get there, let's go surfing burritos, the Spencers and maybe a little ludicrous. Let's go, Dome Zone Nation, support your boys

We need some dumb zone subbies So the so's can go on forever