The Dumb Zone FREE - Cowboys free agency update, Fort Worth PD video, and a weekend check | DZ 3-11-25

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

Get every episode by subscribing to The Dumb Zone at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneWe're back from a 3 day weekend with a weekend check and Jake's tales from Portland. The NFL free agency has begun and the Cowboys have made some moves and another edition of The Handoff (00:00) - Open: Weekend check (29:15) - Today in Twitter: FWPD Not Like Us (56:28) - Sports: Cowboys free agency (01:16:21) - Jake's trip to Portland (01:41:55) - News: Bags no longer fly free (01:53:59) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello! I'm professional broadcaster Dan McDowell, letting you know that you are about to hear one of our free podcasts. But if you'd like to subscribe at DumbZone.com, you'll get four shows per week, plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus sodes like our Business Wednesday interviews. So if you forgot how to use the 15-second rewind, that's DumbZone.com to subscribe. That's dumbzone.com to subscribe. Now on to today's program. The Dumb Zone. Yee-haw! Fair Lease. Blakefairlease.org. That's where you're going to lease your next vehicle. You'll save money. Leasing costs you less than buying. You pay only for the lease amount, not the whole car. Fair Lease will do you right? It's fair

We had a listener who dealt with Matthew at it fair lease who delivered his sweet-looking Chevy Tahoe right to his driveway Blake Tahoe Tahoe so they got like them nice cars. They have it all Wow they have it all literally all of it Save time avoiding spending a whole Saturday or a Sunday at the dealership. What about a Nissan? They got that especially with the WNBA. They really do have it all. I don't think they have four. Go to Fairlease.org you'll see how did you hear about us and then I want you to say the dumb zone at Fairlease.org. Thank you Fairlease. The preceding and the following content are brought to you by No Puppet Productions and The Dumb Zone. What's a Volvo? Feels like a car, right? It's the one that pokes out. Something down there, right?

Pokes out? It's all hanging there like ramen. It's like the outside part. Ramen noodle? Ramen? It's like the outside part. Ramen noodle? It is my Dirk minus Jason Tatum birthday. Like I didn't think it was possible to describe the female anatomy in a way that made it grosser to me. Now I'm like, ramen. If you ever see some ramen noodle hanging down there, You'll know what I mean. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright.

Alright, alright, alright, alright. I'm gonna listen. I wanna listen to the dom's home. Well today is our Monday. Tomorrow will be our Tuesday and then we'll be back on track. Right. All this because Jake. We're worried about you. You didn't show up yesterday. Where is he? Is he on a bender? What's going on? Oh, bender. Anyway, I'm Dan McDonough. I'm Jake Kim.

I'm Blake Jones. We also have Clayton here. We're broadcasting live to tape. I believe streaming live on YouTube. On Twitter. On this usual Monday show. On Tuesday from high atop my garage. Not in our downtown Dallas studios.

Why aren't we there all week? What are we doing? Uh, moving the cameras and... Sit-ins. ...and Joe's in from Seattle and wanted to come here. That's right, Joe's here. Howdy. Can I say your last name? Yeah.

Klopchick. Yes. Did you nail it? Klopchick. name? Yeah. Klopchik. Yes. Did he nail it? Klopchik. No, it's Klopchik. It's kind of like Donchit. Yeah. It's Slovenian. Dan knows how to nail these names.

Posture neck. You're close. But yeah, my grandma was something. Something over there. A piece of ass is what she was. Probably. At some point. I mean she had lots of kids. Yeah. That means she loved doing it. No doubt. No, but I like this little setup we have. It's just that none of you guys will take

advantage of it. I'm the only one who... What? That we can just say, hey I want to take a vacation day and everybody nods? Yeah, we'll still get the four days in. Like, next week I'm going to Galveston. But I'm going to do the show down there with a few boys back here. Freedom, I call it.

We do have a modicum of freedom. What's modicum mean? Little bit. OK. I like it. Properly used. I've seen you guys in forever. You look great. Hey thanks. Four days ago. Feels like a long time. You've, yeah, but you've had a lot happen to you. We just had the same things happen. Yeah. You've, you've experienced Portlandia. Oh. Is that on

today's program? Yeah we're gonna need a we're gonna need an extended portion of the show for the Portland weekend check. Okay you're you're pushing that ahead not that won't be now. Trump was right. That Portland's a pit? No. It's not a pit but it's your liberal dream. We will definitely spend some time later in the show discussing when that liberal dream goes wrong. Okay. There's such a thing as two liberal policies? Yeah, yeah, I think there is. And I just experienced it. All right. In a major way. Yeah, I see on today's program we have NFL free agency has begun. Wow.

I'm sure the Cowboys are active. We'll find out later. They got what they needed to get done done, pal. They just need to get one more. SIG? I see high school basketball controversy. I've got some, I've got a load of today on Twitter. Do you think Trent could get away with that and just say that it's my name? Like if after

every successful deep snap he just did Sig-Hail. What's his last name? Sig. It's just Sig? Sig? Sig. I think you pronounce it Sig. It's like Sig, like Sig-Hail. Sig? What does Sig Sieg Heil mean?

Salute, right? Or something. I don't know. Anyway. I just want our friend to be happy. Victory of salvation. That's right. I held off on texting him.

Did you? When I saw the news. Well, if they sign Banger, you can text him. OK. If you sign Banger, we need all three of them on the show together. Yeah. Grabbing each other's noses.

Whoop, whoop, whoop. The band back together. Our boy had surgery. Who? Brandon? Obs. On what? Shoulder.

Oh. How does he figure good friends know that? What does that mean? Why would he have shoulder surgery? Probably just like a normal 30-year-old man. Yeah, text him and ask him how he's feeling. You need to drop any casseroles off or anything? If you have any of that, your pain medication left,

we'll take it. I had a buddy. Dan had a buddy. I once had a buddy. Who, yeah. Because I had something, and they gave me some kind of Vicodin. He's like We just knew he's the guy that wants the pills and I didn't I didn't take any I don't think I might have taken One but I'm not a pill guy. I'm not either

Fortunately plants over pills. Yeah, I just never really took with me But he he claimed they worked real great with alcohol and I just thought okay. Well they do work great, they're just very very bad for you. Do his thing? Yeah. Yeah, he's still doing fine. Yeah. As always, we'll just tell you to just ignore the dog, he'll fall asleep eventually. God, he was a pain in the ass the other day.

I hope this isn't a trend. You seem to be a pro at it. He's not too bad. No, he's a pain in the ass all the time. But the good thing about tiny dogs is it's just kind of a tiny pain. If you had a giant dog that was a pain, that would be terrible. That's a shot at me for no reason? Well, your dog is a pain. He's got a cyst that explodes every time you look at it.

Ew. What your dog is a pain. He's got a cyst that explodes every time you look at it. Yeah We have high school basketball controversy. I have today in Twitter Portlandia. Yeah, that's all coming up one do weekend check first sure Is this sponsored? I know that you Kind of threw these sponsors on there at the last minute and I don't like that I'm a little bit of a radical community DFW calm. I was was actually just talking to Travis yesterday there coming out to my house this week. Yeah so that's your HVAC your home for HVAC maintenance repair you need a new unit you need a new unit for a business how about community mechanical Communitydfw.com

Yeah, book yourself a free sales estimate for uneven heating and cooling, which is what I did. They came in and shot a little ray gun and said cold. They'll do that for you. If you get that free sales estimate, they will buy you a DZ Knit Cap, regardless of whether you use them. But if you do get a new HVAC system through Community Mechanical, they will buy you a 690 sit-in. So you can enjoy the luxury that Josh is enjoying here. Communitydfw.com. Communitydfw.com. Hit up Travis. He'll get back to you quickly. You can text him at 469-667-7290. Make sure your HVAC is taken care of, Dan. Just do it.

And tell them you heard it. Where did they hear about it, Joe? Dan Bongino show. No. No, it's on the dumb zone. The dumb zone. Oh. That's right.

Dan Bongino, does he still have a show? No, I think he's been out of the game for a minute. Doesn't he do stuff? Yeah, he's like the assistance of the seat of uh... the fbi okay he's not the in charge of the military that's another tbp right pete hexes pete hexes who uh...

just really plan all the hits for all the alcoholics at home when he's doing that i mean if you give me the really important job i'll cut back but that always works When he's doing the... I mean if you give me the really important job, I'll cut back. That always works. I'm gonna switch to wine during the week. It was nice having three days off. Yeah. There are three days just in a row. Which makes me question our format here. Do we go four on and three off? Should we or... But if we did that, I don't want to take Mondays off, generally. Weekends are fun, lots of sports, especially during the

football season. And then Fridays are always a fun show too. Look, it's nice every now and then, but I like how we have it. I also think if I were quote unquote off on Friday from doing the show, we would get less done. By situating our quote unquote off day in the middle of the week, we get a ton of stuff done that day. If it's Friday, you're kinda like, eh, Blake's golfing. No I'm not.

You could be. I could be, but I enjoyed Monday off because it made Sunday feel like an extra Saturday, and that was awesome. Yeah. Now, during the football season it's nice to chat about it on Mondays, but I don't know, this weekend rocked. Did you rake? No.

Did you play softball yesterday? Yeah, we played softball, but it was just cold and windy and the first game we got rained on a little bit, split again. We'll get a sweep one of these weeks That's my almost my entire weekend check is just that it was terrible weather So we did a little walk in it at Lowe's Had the Sunday phone call with my mom you ever buy anything Yeah, occasionally just the ball peen hammer, just to say you did?

Usually it's like weed, something for the lawn. OK. Not weeds. You don't buy weeds to put in the lawn. I'm so good at maintaining my lawn. We buy weeds and sprinkle it around just for a challenge. It's like a weight vest. Yeah, give her a challenge.

Training. No, but what I will now consider, I think I've already declared this, but I saw the weather forecast, so I put some wood in the garage to make sure it would stay dry. It did, and we had what will be the final indoor fire of the season. Yeah. I think it's all over now, looking ahead. Never really had a big freeze, that's great.

Never really got that close to, it's all good, worrying about why I haven't gotten a generator. No, it got cold though. Yeah, but never just the big ice storm and all that kind of stuff. So that's good. Everything's fine, Everything's going great But yeah, it was the final fire of the season and It's very sad very sad that won't continue What else on your weekend?

So I was kind of trapped indoors with the kid all weekend, so it wasn't that busy of a weekend but these have been kind of piling up so let's do this the handoff no wow we're getting another handoff. That's great. We're gonna do another handoff. Wow. I asked for submissions from the subbies and I'm just gonna do one per, but I got a good one here from Robert, who said, I fired my dentist because they were gonna charge me a $75 late cancellation fee. I canceled right at the 24 hour rule.

My next argument was that I wasn't canceling, just simply postponing. And so when they kept the charge, I asked for a copy of my contract to see what they could charge me for. And in the small writing, it said they could charge a quote reasonable fee, to which his response was, I don't think $75 is reasonable. He said, how about $50? I mean, at this point.

Could not come to an agreement, so he canceled. So Robert felt like that's very run the ball to cancel your, or to change your dentist because of a disagreement over what a reasonable fee is. It's such a beating to change, too. You've got to call and get your records. The new place has to run your Insurance all to prove some stupid point, but that's what this segment. It's about we're running the ball

All right, and you're not gonna charge us $75. They don't play line it up and do it again Yes, so that's our it probably depends on if you've done it before Cuz like man I had an era Where my eye doctor, I was canceling every other appointment. Just no showing. I'd call the morning of and they'd be like, we're going to charge you.

I'm like, that's fair. But if it's your first time getting charged, it's kind of bullish. Yeah, especially if you're just going to move it back a week or something. I guess that's what most people do. Shout out to... Yeah, but that messes up the day, you know?

They got a schedule. Though, they rarely keep it, correct? Yeah, they're always running late. I feel like it's better to cancel than try to sneak in there. Because then, I don't know, you got 20 minutes. Go hit your bong. Anyway, that's from Robert. Hey, that's a good one.

Despite cancellations. Yeah, so let's do it again. Oh, still a little confused about the flow of the. It's a reset. The handoff. Okay, all right, I got an issue because kind of in the market for a new car and I cannot lease because I drive away too much.

I would just crush through that lease mileage. And so I'm looking around to buying a car and I stumbled upon one that I might want to get and I wanted to set up a test drive. And so you got to do the thing where you go to the website you put in your name your email your phone number I've never done it portal really I've never test driven a car Other than like I think maybe a couple times and I was doing spots Okay, you know they'd have you come out the guy will drive around with you But I've never just gone and test driven a car so you just you're just like this will be fine pretty much I'm kind of with you but I've never just gone and test driven a car. So you're just like this

will be fine? Pretty much, yeah. I'm kind of with you. I've been in a Ford Explorer before, I kind of knew what I was getting. I got the most basic one. What if you're buying a used car though? Yeah mine was used but it was dealer used, you know? But I'm probably the outlier. Yeah I haven't done too many but I get what the outlier. Yeah, I haven't done too many, but I get what you're saying. They're kind of... Yeah, it's a car. It's kind of the same, right? It's kind of like, yeah, you don't test drive your rental car,

you just get in it and then it's probably fine. And it usually is. So, you know, within a couple minutes, they're all over you. I get this text. Hi Blake, this is Megan from this dealership. I see you're interested in this car. It's listed at this location. I'll double check its availability

with our lot manager in the meantime. Let's schedule a test drive. Here are our hours today. I respond, I can be there at this time. They said, great, you're all set. This time, this is the address. Looking forward to seeing you. Awesome, this is how this should go.

So get ready, get in the car, and I get a follow-up text from the same number. Hello Blake, my name is Cash. I'm a customer consultant here at this dealership. I was asked to personally handle your inquiry for this car. By Megan. It looks as though that our virtual assistant booked you for a visit this evening, but the vehicle is not available. Okay, so was Megan of AI? So now he's cleaning up the mess of AI Megan.

I don't need AI with names. No, I don't like that at all. I thought it was a person named Megan. You were developing feelings. Little bit. Owner. Little thought it was a person named Megan you were developing feelings little bit owner Little bit sent a little exclamation mark What do we do? Why are we naming our virtual assistant? Yeah, don't say anything And now it's and now I'm mad at cash cuz I don't know if cash is real or not Could just be another robot. It could be another robot

Does a robot clean up the other robot's mistake? I don't know. But it would be funny if the male robot cleaned up the female robot's mess. I don't know. She's going through a lot. That really upset me that this freaking robot, one, messed up, but then it was just, hey, I'm a human and my name is, and I'm here to help you. So in this portion of the handoff, you're just upset that you're dealing with robots

all day. Taking all the humanity out of customer service. Some of it. Taking our jobs. But I don't mind the little AI chat or the virtual assistant, whatever you want to do, but don't pretend to be a human. Yeah. Don't give me a name.

Why stop at a name? Why not give it a back story? Yeah. She's like, I was sexually assaulted. I'm a survivor. Yeah, companies don't name your virtual assistant. The handoff. your virtual assistant. The Handoff. And our final entry for this week in The Handoff. So I got a group of buddies, we play pick up basketball on Monday evenings and we have

for probably 15 years or so. It's basically every Monday night at this church in Garland and there's some people there that I've become good friends with over the years, some that just kinda keep it a distance. I just see them two or three times a month and that's it. So one of them came up to me and sat next to me, which is strange because we don't really,

we play together but that's it. And he sits down and he looks at me and he says, who do you have insurance through? I'm trying to proposition you. And so within a second of him saying that, I know exactly what's going on. This guy got a new job, he's looking for new customers, he thinks he knows a thing or two about insurance.

And he's framing it like, look, I can save you money. I know some things, I know some shortcuts, let me save you some money. And so, I don't know, I'm not confrontational enough to just stop him in his tracks and say, hey bud, no, I don't want this. I'm locked in, I don't wanna shop, I don't need your, I'm sorry, I don't need it.

So I just did the thing where, oh cool, oh great. So this is where the handoff intersects with guy who always is looking for a deal, coupon man. Yeah, that's a little tension. Well, here's where I think let's establish the run. I go to pick up basketball to kind of get away. Okay? I don't need to be pressured. I don't need to be sold. I don't need to be pushed anything. I hate all those things that make you go to your friends and family first. Oh yeah.

Yeah. You know. Any sort of scheme. Yeah I've had a couple of friends who have done that and I feel really bad because they're really good friends. I want to support things that they're doing, but I know they'll be doing something else in eight months. Yeah, there's a little pressure there. Now I'm locked into this thing. So he asked for my number, and I thought about giving him a fake number, but I just couldn't do it.

No, because you'll see him again. And that's the thing, is now I'm not, he asked me to fill out this form and some other stuff which I'm not gonna do, and now, every Monday in perpetuity, I'm just the guy that didn't get back to him, and I'm the guy that's not helping him. You got a couple, there's a couple options here.

I don't think I deserve this. One, and maybe these could be related, but let's just say there's a guy there named Tim. You could be like, I'm actually good, but Tim, I actually heard him talking about his insurance situation. He's got a need. But the other one, which I've done many times,

you make up a family member who works in that line of work or that field. That's a great one. I've done it with realtors before. Yeah. Somebody's like, let me handle your... I'm like, dude, I got an uncle. I would change it, but his family kind of does.

Yeah. That took me like two years to get... One of those lawn places like Churgreen or the other one, I got in with them for a little while. And then when you cancel them they're all over you. Yeah. They're all because it was like 30 bucks a month or I can't remember what it was but whatever it was I still had just as many weeds as when I didn't have them at all. And so yes and then my thing was my

brother started his own landscaping business, and he's doing this now. Oh, good, didn't it? Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, oh, OK. There's no out from that. I don't care how much I can save you. It's just my brother.

I'm trying to help him out with his business. Can you put that on your thing so they don't keep calling me? OK, I'll write it down here. Nice. You went the extra step. Here we go. Two days later. Oh, they still did.

Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, that's a move. This comes up a lot with financial managers. It's always got a buddy who's like, I can take care of you. You're like, ah. I got a guy is a thing. It's already like all integrated into his system.

So yeah. Yeah. So yeah, now I'm just the jerk that is not helping my friend but I go to play basketball to burn calories not save money by the looks of things burning quite a few the handoff That's his own producer tag. He's DJ Khaled. Anybody else? Clayton, you got to throw something in?

Yeah, we had another... I just watch TV on the weekends. Okay. Spent a lot of time catching up on shows. Gemstones this weekend. Hell yeah. Came back. Okay, that debuted, huh? All right.

I'm not on it yet. You know what they did? No. It's the most Danny McBride thing ever, and I was so proud of him for pulling it off. So, you know he's like a real weirdo, like horror movie weirdo? Like he directed that Halloween movie.

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, he's really into horror movies. He's directed a couple things I think with Jordan Peele. But he's also from the South and probably grew up around Civil War reenactments. So I guess you can do this in your last season. They hauled off and did like an 80 minute preamble with Bradley Cooper. None of the original cast is in the show. It's about the first gemstone who was a chaplain in the Civil War.

Oh, okay. And it's awesome. Is it? Wow. Like it looks like a Civil War movie. You watched it? Yeah. Okay.

We watched it with our friends in Portland and And dude, it looks like a war movie. Like guys getting their faces blown off, bombs. And Bradley Cooper is just like this drunk criminal who ends up becoming a chaplain and realizing he can make money doing it. And that's like the genesis of their family. It was brilliant. I just kind of stole Clayton's bit.

Thanks, Jake. Sorry, I'll bet Clayton wasn't going to describe it like that. Oh, no, I wasn't going to say pretty much exactly the same thing. How much of a fan I am of Danny McBride and how getting Bradley Cooper to play that role was really the only way it would work because you got to have somebody who is big enough to outshine the original cast if you're gonna do something for sure completely different than the original. Then I don't know what my luck is but had another issue with media company this weekend. Had Hulu the other week, not streaming the Grammys.

Yeah. The Grammys, I keep saying that. The Oscars. Spectrum outage. During? Hit late Sunday. So my entire Monday off, no internet. Oh. Yeah, it's no good at all? No. So, I guess... Had to run everything through your phone. No, I just dogged it Nice. No said no, I'm not gonna go online. Huh? No nothing. Huh went Went to the grocery store Walked around for a little bit checked out some deals on some produce. There you go. Get your steps. Yeah, get your playboy magazine Haven't seen one of those at a grocery store in...

It's been a minute. God, that's forever. Yeah, just, you know, did adult stuff, I guess, that you don't do when you're... Adulting. My TV note is Severance. Let's go. Okay. Speed it up. No, I'm not yelling. I'm yelling at Ben Stiller.

Oh, I don't want to hear this from you for one second. I'm just saying, man. We're crawling to the finish line on this thing. I listened to 10 years of My Hero Dan wisely pointing out the erosion of discussion around TV shows was because they would drop them all at once. There was no more water cooler talk. No, no.

I'm talking about the storyline being just drag. Like the whole episode, now they're doing back stories so that we can just understand the psyche behind someone who works at Lumen. And it's like, OK, I don't care about that. I need stuff. I need things happening now. What's going on at Lumen?

What's going on with the severed people? Remember? This is called severance. Yes. Don't give me like one thing in 38 minutes or whatever it was. I'm just saying, let's move the story ahead a little bit, Ben Stiller. OK, yeah.

No, I. I'm screaming at the TV. I'm screaming at a cloud. I don't know what else to say. My time is very valuable, Jake. Can't be just wasting all of it. And then your weekend check is just later? Or are you wrapped up Clayton?

Okay. Yeah, pretty much. I will say that I did the half buffer day. I don't know that I have the full buffer day in me, the Dan McDowell plan, but I didn't want to miss any shows, but I also didn't want to get back at 10 o'clock last night. So I landed at like one. It was perfect. Kids are still in school. Get your grocery shopping done. Do it, you know? Oh yeah.

How was it? It was great. Good. It felt good. We didn't want to do it up there too liberal. Gross. We're going to get home to a God-fearing conservator's stay. Don't they have condoms laying around everywhere though? They just give them out. More on that later.

Give them to the Haitians. Alright, um... You know, instead of sports right now, I'm gonna do today in Twitter, cause that'll lead us... The Dumb Zone presents... Today in Twitter. ...into sports. He was just trying to jump up on the top of the couch.

That's where he sleeps, dude. OK. If that dog bites you and you are injured, I want you to call 214 or 817 and all threes. OK. Oh, that's Frankel and Frankel. They are personal injury lawyers, so make sure you're OK.

Don't call the Frankels on me. Yeah. No. Are you their client? No. No, wait. Are you their client? No. Wait. OK, then I can't. In this scenario though, if that dog bites you,

you're going to need somebody who can deal with the insurance companies. I know, but they're going to come after me. Yeah. And I don't want the Frankles against me. I like the Frankles on my side. Over 100 years of combined experience. Yeah.

Just don't tell Joe what to do here. Call Frankle and Frankle if you get into any other personal injury besides me being at fault. If you're at Dan's house and someone runs you over in the driveway, call 214 or 817 and all threes and get what you deserve today on Twitter. Drive in was nice.

No construction workers stopping me. That was nice. Tell me to slow down. No toot. That was nice. That was slow down. No, dude Got the new blacktop. Yeah, let's start with the Fort Worth Police Department Was on Twitter. Yeah, and they are trying to recruit you Young man or woman some women as well Yeah, this uh Take a look at it here. This is a

Holy moly, they not like us What a joy they had to get a black guy. Oh, yeah, of course. Then step this way. Step that way. Step this way. Step that way. Why is that one guy dressed like a clown?

Want to join in? Also, we've all run into this before where you're like, you're black. I bet you can rap. Step that way. Not always the case. So police officers are two-stepping through downtown Fort Worth, all over the city of Fort Worth. That's- that makes me want to be a cop?

Yeah, I think you picked it up right at the end there. Yeah. So this, by the way, responds to- Play it from the beginning. But what's that? Go ahead. Well, it's uh that that Dallas has been recruiting in Fort Worth there's no boards over in Fort Worth Dallas PD's like we're hiring you know okay so they're trying to know oh you're not like us can you play from the beginning I think he does kind of you know it kind

of explains the area yeah you can see the billboard, the Dallas one. Ha! Unnecessary sound effect. Okay, so it's a Dallas, we are hiring billboard. The Fort Worth cop shakes his head at it. This is mimicking the Not Like Us video. Oh yeah, I forgot there's a Guy with a Clown not like us video. Oh yeah, I forgot there's a guy with a clown thing

in the video. So, guy with a clown wig. So this is just like the Kendrick video? Yeah. For work on the beat, yo. Recognize all the time. Oh my God. FWPD on repeat so.

Why could they? What's up with that city Trying to gain friction, we remain Tough again, why you sit? Good, we shoulda, show em how it's done Go rest, we the best, we still number one No, they did it Study the material Cause here we go

Show em, it's time Advertising our city but no flavor Forwards, funky town, F-dub Why you wasting with your hate? But all we got is love Hahaha No Oh Oh Big D, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, now the Lil D. What you thinkin', Lil D? Aren't you tired every time we open up and fill up when we hire her? Oh, Jesus, no! Yes, yes!

Good job, that's great. They not like us, they not like us, they not like us. They not like us, they not like us. I just don't, god, that's funny. That's what we saw. Yeah, so. I don't wanna be some sort of dork that's like, why are they spending their time and money on that? Well, they could be out catching criminals. I don't feel that way at all. This is just- That's a half bag dive in you. Yeah, for real, but that's just...

I don't know. How many officers do they have? I'll tell you exactly what happened here, because I've seen it. They had a white guy that could have nailed that, but they're like, we can't do that. We just can't do it. They go to this guy, and he's like, I've never heard this song before. Like, I don't listen to rap music at all.

And they're like, you sure about that? Sure you have. Just try it. Just try it. Just try the bass. They not like us. Pick up the bass. Damn it. Just try the base. They not like us. Pick up the base. Damn it.

Elsewhere today on Twitter, put up the Odell Beckham thing. Because Odell Beckham releases a statement on Twitter. And it's kind of like a I didn't do it. Can you see it there? I've been informed of my allegations about me in a suite in CA California. Suit.

Why don't I handle the reading? Oh, go ahead. You weren't volunteering. I really can't even believe that my name is mentioned in that matter. There's absolutely no truth to those allegations. I do not know and have not ever met the person that filed the suit I was not anywhere near Orenda, California at that time. In fact, I don't think I've ever been there

I've done nothing like that and I would never do anything like that to anyone I'm confident that these ridiculous claims against me will be dismissed from Odell. So that's all I saw This is still all I've seen so it's kind of like well what yeah Apparently he is named in the Diddy lawsuit. Oh, yeah him and Drew's have been Drew ski. Yeah, she drew skis No Well, I saw his statement Is that what you mean? No, I saw the sweet The suit where it said that he was... Like playing slip and slide.

Yes. Like he was all rolled up, all big. He like dipped this model or something in Vaseline and then jumped on her like a slip and slide. They were really into lube. So wait, what's Odell Beckham saying? I have never done anything like that and would never do anything like that to anyone. I need to know what that is. What is he, what are they saying

that he did? Yeah, let's see. Like what? The details were out there but I can't tell what is and isn't fake anymore. That's the thing man. Yeah. It used to be hard enough on Twitter and now everything is so, not only AI of course, but just the fact that they don't seem to care to police any of that. Yeah. Even Community Notes doesn't really help. I don't know. They're funny. What? Community Notes sometimes. The bits. It's a rape, Dan. It's pretty graphic. OK. All right, well, Odell Beckham says he didn't do that. But the whole, you know.

Well, I was going to say, I was laughing because people found the clip of Drusky on Matt and Shane. And they asked him about it. He's like, you crazy man, why would you ask me that? Oh, he didn't like to say no. No. And then Shane's looking at him weird. And he's like, no, I was never there for any of that.

And McCusker's like, the good news is we're finding out no one was. Literally no one. Every single person that's been asked is like, I wasn't there. I never went to any of those parties. And they're like, well, someone did. I have a good bit, or a bad bit, and a good bit then. I will wrap up and this will lead us into sports. Because Duolingo won there, Clayton. Put that tweet up.

Duolingo tweeted out, it is with heavy hearts we inform you that Duo, formerly known as the Duolingo lingo owl is dead Authorities currently investigating his cause of death. We're crap cooperating fully Tbh, he probably died waiting for you to do your lesson. But what do we know? Okay bits And then they just said blah blah blah expect you respect the privacy in this time Duo lingo, you know that that's this language app and I was doing it for a while before I went to France, which is about one year ago today. I think it was one year ago today

that we actually went to France. So look for that on your, I was gonna say hang zone, dumb zone calendar. So that's kind of a bad bit. The continued bad bit is they ended up, it's a Mavrelo type storyline. Oh, okay. And it turns out that Duolingo was run over by a Cybertruck. And then it says they would go on to say Cybertrucks have killed two birds now and they got a picture of the Twitter bird and

a picture of the Duolingo owl. That's a bad bit for sure. Oh my goodness. But. A lot of work for it too. I think Duolingo has pulled out a good bit as well. Now this is a couple weeks ago, but number two would be the good bit. The Lakers had put out a tweet that said number 77 has arrived. Picture of Luka Doncic and Duolingo. Quote tweeted it saying let's review your mistakes.

Which is what Duolingo does at the end of your lesson. They quote tweeted it and added the Dallas Mavericks. That's important. Right. They just... That is a good one. They just, uh. That is a good one. The world is laughing at us is what I'm saying here. Yeah. The world is laughing at us.

I'm watching whatever the John Oliver show is. Last week tonight. If you're in Portland, they all know about John Oliver. Or they might think he's too right-wing. I was going to say, John Oliver is a conservative in Portland. So what is the context here? They're talking about Doge, or whatever, the department, the Elon thing coming in, cutting a bunch of jobs,

and that they're getting your information. And so they're talking about that. Some lady is talking about that and going back and forth with somebody. So John Oliver's playing this clip. And then he'll have his joke after they play the clip. Not just who I am, where I live. How much you made, how much your refund is.

All of that is in there. Absolutely. The most private sensitive data about American citizens all sits in the Bureau of Fiscal Service and the Treasury Payments ecosystem. That is definitely not information I want in the hands of Elon's gang. But if I may a little correction there,

the most private sensitive data about an American isn't their bank account information, it is their Google search history. Although, having said that, I am pretty sure that most American search history over this last month were the mix of what the fuck is happening, what is a doge, why is everyone so sad about Luca, what the fuck is happening all caps, and what to do when country go ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It's going to be that way for a long time. Culturally, it'll be a joke. It'll be like Buckner. It'll be like Bill Buckner. It's becoming that. You'll hear about this for the rest of your life. It was dumber than fill in the blank and it'll be this.

Have you seen the... This is mostly on Twitter as well where I've seen these things but the fire of Niko chants are just popping up anywhere the FC Dallas game 77th minute too I was proud of the FC Dallas supporters for that one right there that's that's genius okay I didn't realize that also could be made up who knows I wasn't there. Yeah, but I mean you have the audio in the video a little bit. Yeah, different games. Apparently the Spurs game at Niko while he was sitting there. That made me happy. And I believe over the weekend at Medieval Times for some reason during the break in the action a fire Nico chant has obviously stars games. Oh, yeah Yeah, that's good. I think people should be doing this everywhere though Like I don't know Mike my kids elementary school has a talent show in like two weeks

Let's get it going. Yeah, I like I like it. I Was actually I don't want to talk about Luca much but uh I was actually, I don't want to talk about Luca much, but my buddy that I went to go see this weekend, he doesn't really do sports at all. Isn't that interesting? He played sports too and was a very good football player. When you have a buddy like that though, they're really... He's just not into it.

Maybe that's a part of living in Portland too. Well, I think it's more like he fit there, right? Okay. You know what I mean, by moving there he knew, and he does actually go to the Timbers games, the soccer games, because they're a party, they're fun. But anyways, I was just talking to him about Luca, because he's like, what the fuck is this about?

You know, he's like, what happened? And he's also like a really, really smart guy. And you know, he had read a little bit about it, and I was talking to him about it, and he's like, look, I don't know if this guy went to business school, meaning Nico, he's like, but this is just business school BS. Which is, he described it as, this is just the infection of management mindset.

Which, again, if you listen to how much Nico references Kobe, as this is just the infection of management mindset. Which again, if you listen to how much Nico references Kobe and how he thinks he's like this alpha, I think what Wade meant when he said management mindset is the idea of like, I've gotta do something. Like I gotta prove that I'm the guy. I gotta prove I'm worth something. And that's like almost how they teach it in business schools. Like you have to demonstrate worth, demonstrate value.

And so like you could just do nothing. And sometimes that's the best course of fashion. There have been so many businesses or industries that have been set sideways or flat out ruined by ego maniacal people. I thought about bringing this up because I've noticed that sports culture has begun to creep into business culture because I overheard a job interview over the weekend and he was talking about, hey look, we need our employees to bring the juice.

You guys gotta be competitive. And it's just, it felt like a coach. But it was a job interview. He really said you have to bring the juice. And that floored me. No, there's a lot of crossover. I do think Nico comes from that school of, I'm going to do this.

And it's not just sports, for sure. Almost anyone listening to this has had a boss before. You don't really have to do that. It's obviously financial you know when you look at the whole thing and the fact that that's how they led the press conference with we were getting ahead of a tumultuous summer and it was all about the supermax and there's been you know talk about is this kind of a is there some collusion going? And I suppose we'll see if the next Supermax comes up and that player gets traded as well.

But there's not everybody, not every young player will qualify for the Supermax, very few. Very few. But this was put in there by LeBron and Chris Paul and those people who were in charge of the players association who realized boy even the max that's way underpaying a LeBron so the only way you know we have this super max clause but it's only if you are a generational talent only if you are a Shaq or a Kobe or a LeBron Kobe and here we got one and you know fans dreamq or a Kobe or a LeBron. Kobe. And here we got one. And you know, fans dream of getting a guy like this, but maybe owners dream of guys

that can only make $30 million a year at the top and not $70. What'd you think of the rumors? I think Nick from Locked On said this. I've heard it a couple of other places that they heard that even when Cuban was still in charge there were some questions about the Supermax. Like that even Cuban was like, I don't know. Cause then he said in that WFA interview,

he didn't say you don't trade Luca, he said you've gotta get a bigger package for him. My first thought, reaction to that is, well maybe there are things that he can't say. He can't be honest because he still owns a quarter of the team and it's a financial, literally, he's vested in it. But that doesn't really make sense because then if he has some sort of gag order, why would he then go out and say,

but you should have got a better package? I don't know. I can't imagine. I mean, I still say dead set on I cannot imagine Mark even contemplating that. But I suppose we could be wrong. Well, I mean, many NBA talking heads have said, and I agree, you've signed them to the Supermax and then you can move that. Yeah.

Because there are plenty of teams that would still want him. That was fun to watch the game the other night. The Celtics game was great. I have something from before the Celtics game which amused me. OK. Shams is on, you know, before the game, and they're just talking about Luca becoming more comfortable with being a Laker and all that kind of stuff.

Is this as funny to you as it is to me? Luca Dodgers has been a player that's been rooted in loyalty, someone that's thought of one city, one team, his whole career. Obviously, that all got dashed the moment he was traded just over a month ago to the Lakers. Now he's in LA. He's one of the grandest performers on the biggest stage

as Stephen A calls Tinseltown, and he's feeling more. Yeah, that was it. Now is Shams just so young that he thinks Stephen A invented that term? That's definitely what's happening here. And that it wasn't invented in the 30s or 40s or 50s or whatever it was? Yeah, golden age of life. That's great.

As Stephen A said, I just think it's hilarious how ESPN absolutely makes it all about them. And Shams is a type of guy who, he doesn't have a life, you know? It's not like he could tell you what was up for the Oscars this year. Culturally, the guy's probably pretty empty. He breaks trades.

He's your, Although it is funny, have you ever seen the, Your basic. Yeah, exactly. Have you ever seen, like, Shom's had a Twitter account like in high school. Because he's pretty young. And it's just the same account he uses now

with 10 million followers, but his, all of his tweets from high school were like, can't wait for lunch. But he would do that like every day. So there's like a hundred tweets of just Shom's in 11th grade like, damn, lunch almost here. And it's like a hundred tweets of just shombs and 11th grade like damn lunch almost here. And it's just the same account. What do you think of the KD to the Mavericks thought? Have you heard that?

Hashtag lunch time. He just tweeted. Yeah of course I have and I mean you heard it at the deadline right that they were making a late push and This is Nico's grand plan is to get all the American Avengers back together But I don't know I mean I still think KD is a good player, but I don't I just don't care anymore No, I just don't care and I mean The Suns have a lot of problems, but the fact that they're the 11th seed and KD's been pretty healthy. What are you going to do? Kyrie's not playing until Christmas next year.

Is he going to go add 36-year-old KD to hopefully healthy? Whatever dude. Who cares? If he plays at Christmas. Right. I've heard he could miss the entire year next year. Because this happened so late this year. He could never play for the Mavericks again.

Who knows what his deal will be. I don't care. Yeah, next year I think is his option year. Yeah. So if they want to keep Kyrie, they might have to renegotiate this offseason or you know just try to add to the deal I don't know because I think his I feel like his bargaining power is well first of all the injury is horrible I think he gets

maxed out if there's not enough of the injury on a two or three year deal yeah but he's not gonna get five for 300 but he'll get I don't know with the Mavs he might have had him up against the wall there but like yeah maybe what if I leave then what about your grand plan I'd like to know if I know he has had a relationship with Nico in the past, but I kind of feel like Kyrie hates this. This is what I want to believe. He's been such a good dude. I felt like him and Luca really did mesh and were actually friends off the court. It was working out perfectly. That's why I get bummed when we bring it up. You know, that that team never had a chance to try to win. I still think that starting lineup was like 17-0, wasn't it? Like the lively PJ Clay Kyrie Luka. It all did fit. It all fit.

The timelines matched up, but listen. If we could just get. Yeah, remember our big problem was, can we get. I just forgot his name. The Splash Brother. Clay. Clay coming off the bench. Yeah. That was our big.

Big concern. How to tweak this thing to really make it hum. But listen. It's all water under the bridge, because right now I'm focused on a couple things. One is Rui back Thursday. We got a back-to-back Thursday Friday. We got six games in eight days with two back-to-backs, the Warriors and Bucks. Trey Jemison, nice player. Don't need him out there for 30 minutes. Luke is still working back into shape, I think. Yeah.

He was off for two months. I think the Boston game, he didn't look the same as he did the previous game. No, he's still pretty good, but not as good. He ran out of gas for sure. But he had played like 40 minutes, a couple nights before that. And the Celtics went as balls out of that

Oh, they played of yeah They're playing guys 46 minutes and they had guys who hadn't played in a week who made it back for that game Very much a circle the game. They didn't have KP, but the Lakers were down again four or five guys and Luca looked bad last night, but so today are Got my jersey in. KP in Boston, Brunson in New York, Luca in LA, and we got the brow. So depressing.

He knows Mer. That even makes it all worse. He does no murder. I don't know, man. I think we should just stop talking about the Mavericks. I agree. Yeah. I'm down to talk Luka.

I'm down to talk Lakers. But when it comes to what are the Mavs going to do, I don't care. Who's going to close for the Rangers this year? There's some options. There's some interesting options out there. Yeah, but I'm all about. It might end up being lighter.

My life doesn't have to change. Not lighter, but maybe rock. My life was trying to vision the players around Luka, helping him to win that championship. So like you said, let's break down that starting lineup. Let's take a look at what we're doing off the bench. Lively is still 21. Not the Mavs lineup. I'm talking about the Lakers. I know. I'm just saying I was so excited for Lively. They would both be here for

ten years. Together. And what's funny is watching Luca on the Lakers, he'll kick to the corner and the guy will miss a three and you're telling the Lakers like no, see these guys are going to have wide open shots, you need a corner specialist, you need it. It's like we know the puzzle of Luka and now they have to go figure it out on their own, kind of. But we were just so far down the road and now it just starts over. Well I think Dallas still has plenty of players they could send over there.

What if we got LeBron back. What if we got LeBron back? What if we got LeBron? I don't know. No. That doesn't do it. No! Same with KD! KD would have been great eight years ago.

Yeah, with Dirk. LeBron and Ronnie. Somebody sent me the doomsday scenario of like, hey, you know how it's gonna go is eventually Kyrie's gonna he's gonna get his way out there And that's what we look cool Luca and Kyrie will just win together Hermanos in LA I mean They don't do this anymore, but he You know Carl Malone once took like a 1 million dollar a year contract just to try to join the Lakers. Yes a ring

I think Steve Nash took way low to go there and try to chase a ring. Yeah, Gary Payton over there too. That's right. It feels like they don't, that's not a thing anymore. You don't see it. You know, even LeBron and the Hedles, they all got maxed out or maybe very close to it. Where it used to be thought, well if they each take lesser value then they can go... no. They were like, yeah what if you just max us all out and just put a bunch of spares around us we're gonna be fine and then they were. Well anyways the Cowboys lost Jordan Lewis. That's no fun.

I know that was sports, but we need to tell you about Early Bird CBD. I need, I mean need you to know about this. Early Bird CBD dot com, the promo code is dumb zone, that'll get you 20% off. These are not for your city worker, your federal employee. But let's say that Doge just cleaned out your job. They're not for your city worker federal employee because it has THC, right?

Yeah. Wanna make that clear. THC, bros. If you just got let go by Doge, hit up EarlybirdCBC. Yes. Right? Yeah. Want to make that clear? THC bros. If you just got let go by Doge, hit up earlybirdcbd.com. These are nice. Nice for a little night out.

Nice for you to relax, watch a little TV. Early Bird CBD, put a smile on your face. Take the edge off of a day. You ever do one of these, Blake? Early Bird? Yeah. Oh yeah, I'll double up. Let's start with one two and a half milligrams THC in each one some folks like Blake prefer to take more so Austin based company they pride themselves on customer service

they will take care of you they take care of us early bird CBD comm the promo code is dumb zone let's see the Cowboys stuff for today. Solly Thomas. Solly Thomas. Forgotten that? For the third overall pick. Not sure about this one folks. Don't know that he's been good ever. Had a terrible PFF grade last year. He's a body. He's a body to your deal They seem to be assembling bodies right now don't know that he's it really ever been good If he was not the third overall pick you would not be in the league. No, and they lost Chauncey Goldstone To the Giants But it was his boss is back and they lost johnson goldstone to the judge

but i was close is back givante williams always liked it is a running back whose average per carry has gone down every year he was so good college though there's something there.

It's honestly the type of guy, now, again, much like with Pollard, I'd love to have a Javante Williams and a Dowdell. But the indications are Dowdell's now gone. Dowdell's gone. This spells goodbye for Dowdell. And Dowdell seems like he's probably better than Jivante Williams so

it feels like a little bit of a downgrade givante Williams probably better than Zeke so you have upgraded your you're better than Zeke you have upgraded your second running back spot but yeah that first day of free agency came and went with zero happening for the Cowboys. Sick. That's about it. Robert Jones is a guard. Yeah, I've heard the name. Who's a person who now is on the team for one year.

These are all very depth moves. Yeah. And... Salomon Thomas is probably going to start, but... And that was just today? Yeah. Yeah, Coppell guy. Always heard he's a really sweet dude, but just not... not only not been good as like

a third overall pick, he's been a very average nfl player now jordan lewis has been above average nfl who they lost your mission and lose headed to jacksonville that's uh... that does suck especially because mean what is trayvon gonna be ready it would be a place here yeah i don't know. So, that's a problem. You got a lot of work to do there, man. Yeah, um, okay, so the additions right now, have the additions offset the subtractions thus far?

Nah, I mean it's early, but you replaced Chauncey with Solomon Thomas although you know the elephant in the room here is Mozzie because you did spend a first round pick on a tackle and now you're having to do all this musical chairs around Osa because Mozzie can't play yeah and he's almost up They got Linval Joseph Still here at that spot, I guess No, they haven't really done Jack Martin retired. Yeah You know, you're not really doing anything there either Robert Jones, I guess but

No, they're gonna head they told us they're going to have another boring ass off season. Yeah, they re-signed a bunch of their own special teams type free agents, but that's about it. So looming on the horizon, of course, is the Micah Parsons contract. So they did restructure both DAC and CD, I guess in moves that actually they didn't even have to work with DAC and CD, but they... Hey, look, you can somehow miraculously just free up a bunch of cap space money. Didn't know you could just do that. Actually, I didn't know. They knew as well. They just always choose not to. Because if you choose not to, then you can just point to that and say,

look, we can't make a move. So now they have. I gotta imagine they're trying to sign Micah. It's very interesting because Micah has publicly stated that he would take a discount. I was reading, unless this is fake as well, that his agent is Deshaun Watson's agent. I did know that. And they're pretty famous for no discounts. Not that any agent wants to be famous for giving discounts. But they want to get the highest average per year. And then so Max Crosby and Miles Garrett now.

Now, Miles Garrett just signed $40 million a year guaranteed. Insane. I don't know if it's all guaranteed. It's $40 a year and 123 of it's guaranteed. So that's 75% of it. OK. For a four-year deal so that is kind of a different deal as well because he they still have Nick Chubb right he

hasn't walked yet but he's pretty much the he's definitely the face of that franchise and he held them up for this contract renegotiation because he was demanding a trade like they need him to be on board for PR because he is beloved there he can take off his helmet and smash an opposing quarterback in the head it doesn't matter they they love Miles Garrett. They love him. He's the big old. So, yeah, he was able though to kind of, he said he wanted to trade, he wanted out. They need him to play nice. They're trying to, they're just, they're in such a, didn't you think when they went 0-16, like this is rock bottom.

You know, actually. This franchise can't get worse. I mean, when I think of that, I think of Miles Garrett because last year, I want to say it was after week 18. It might have been a couple weeks before the season ended. He was asked about that and he's like, this is way worse. Yeah. I was here for that.

Because you have Deshaun Watson now. He's never going to play for the Browns again. The crowd's booing. He was here for that. Because you have Deshaun Watson now. He's never going to play for the Browns again. Crowd's booing him. But he's still owed, what, $80 million a year or something like that for the next few years. Like, they can't. Unbelievable.

Yeah. It's unbelievable. And yeah, they just thought, that's a real PR nightmare. Plus, if he demands a trade, are other teams really going to be sending multiple first round draft picks for Myles Garrett at this stage of his career? He's probably about to hit some serious decline. Yeah, probably. And you know, it's an overpay, but like you said, they gotta do it for PR reasons. But also, there's no reason they can't be good in a couple years. I know it seems unlikely, but I'm really digging this second tier

of quarterback contracts. First of all, it feels like the NBA. Just look at my phone, I'm like, Justin Fields on the Jets? They gave him how much money? He played six games in Pittsburgh last year, and then kinda got benched when Russ was healthy. But I don't know, that's fun.

Or darn old, like, I look at the Seahawks, I'm like, what are we doing? Yeah, Seahawks traded, traded Metcalf, traded Gino, to the Vegas, to Pete Carroll, yeah. Yeah.

So I don't know, but what I'm saying by mentioning that is that it's not crazy to think in a couple years someone like, I don't know, like someone like Baker Mayfield could be available without having to have a franchise quarterback and Miles Garrett could be on a good team. Like you see this, you see it with Darnold in Minnesota, you see it with Jameis able to win games. So they're like when we watch Luka, boy if we could just have a guy like that when they watch Baker. Yeah. All we need is a Baker type. Money around there. Yeah. I wonder if they could have ever

signed Baker to that deal in Cleveland. Probably not right? Um. Because if you're in Cleveland and you're going to you know know. It feels like you have to get the big deal. Any starting quarterback that you retain seems to say, I now get to set the market again. Yeah. Which is, it's kind of like the super max versus the maxed out player. Like, it doesn't always fit though.

Like, did Dak fit to set the market again? Did Kirk Cous did Dak fit to set the market again? Did Kirk Cousins ever fit to set the market? No. Trevor Lawrence, I think, is another one that at one point we were like, OK. Now I feel better about him than some of those others, but still. But yeah, I feel you're right, though, to point out.

It does seem like you've got to have a team in between Yeah, whether it was cousins whether it was Baker seen it a couple times now and Not only does it make me think the NFL is more interesting It also gives me hope that maybe that won't be the Cowboys quarterback in like three or four years I'm fine with him for now. I just think you know like three or four years. I'm fine with him for now. I just think, you know, Dak in three or four years may be the tough watch. Yeah, certainly in three or four years. Is he on track to play week one?

Boy, I don't think so. Are they looking at any? Well, I guess they would have jumped into this free agent market a little bit if they were looking to kind of upgrade from Cooper Rush. Cooper Rush is a free agent too. He'll be back. He'll be back because he's boring. They were made for each other. Nobody else wants him.

He doesn't want to play anywhere else. Cooper Rush and Brian Schottenheimer each think the other is the funniest guy they've ever met. Well, it's fun. The NFL. Look at those commanders, bro. Man. What are they doing?

They're so fun over there. I saw they just made a big trade, too. They got LT Tunsel. They got Lamy Tunsel. Gas Mask. They got Debo. They added somebody else, too. Might have been another offensive lineman.

But yeah, I mean, they're doing what you do when you have a rookie quarterback contract. Can you become a, can you just be a Redskins fan now, or commander's fan? Can I? Are you allowed to? I can't switch two teams in one year. I'm still a, I'm in on the Cowboys.

Because you're right, they are fun. They're very fun. They got're right, they are fun. They're very fun. They got DQ, Cliffs over here, running around. Doing stuff. Their owner's not. What's their wide receiver room? Besides scary Terry. Uh, Debo? I don't know. Oh yeah, Debo. That's right. They just added that.

But no, there's another one though that we're forgetting. They lose Duami Brown. No, they got the Force. Noah Brown. Did they have a receiver that got shot? Running back. Who's the white boy that got shot? Was he 49ers? Ricky Pearsall? Yeah, 49ers.

Anyways, go NFL. Go NFL indeed. Should we work on a break? Sure. Or you got a handoff or something? Well. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone.

I've only done two of them. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone.

The Dumb Zone. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. Yeah, bro. The Dumb Zone. Yeah bro. Portland. We're not talking Portland right now though. We are talking about our good friends at Elite Rides DFW. One 844 Ride DFW. hook up with a Sprinter Van What have we drive in? We've driven in some nice

vehicles. The Sprinter Van is choice. I would recommend that for a big group big night out. Like Dan said 844 Ride DFW you can download the app. The Elite Ride DFW app. They have an AI booking agent for Blake to yell at promo codes DZ 15 that'll get you 15% off your first ride that's right another app I want my information their AI app this one gets you there on time every time though yeah like it's this is gonna help you good. Okay, we call it Al but So they don't have AI driving you but your drivers are so cool, man Yeah, I told you about a friend of mine who?

set up elite rides DFW to pick them up from the airport and Picked them up at 10 p.m. The driver just offered want to make a food stop went out of his way a little bit to Just get down some bueno It was like pretty elite. Yeah Free water. Yeah in the car. I don't know if it's like as much as you can drink at least a couple bottles Tell them we sent you the promo code is DZ 15 for 15% off your first ride tell Jesse we said hey So I got one quick one for you the Rangers tried to sell a new hat I saw that It's a bad hat on its own and what it was was a hat that said Texas across the front

But where the X would be in the middle of Texas, there was simply another big T for Texas over the X. It's not a good hat. So what does tatas mean? Titties. Oh, okay. Titties. Yeah. Tatas means titties.

Or tits. I'll wear that hat. When I was in Mexico, I was telling them about, like my brothers, when I lived there in the early 90s for college, I was telling them about my, the only Mexican restaurant I had really been to was in Cleveland, and it was called Cheechee's, and they all thought that was funny because they said that meant tits. Yeah, but I mean, you know, like any self-respecting culture and language, they have several names. Okay.

Just like we do. Juggs. Yeah. Bazoombas. What else? Sweater puppies. Give me a word for that. I don't know why, but I really like sweater puppies and sweater meat.

Sweater meat's a good one. It's so debasing to a woman Sweater meet that's what it's all about Verbally debasing a woman not physically no But they tried to sell these hats and of course they quickly were told not to but none of them look good Have you seen the Anaheim Angels one or the angels one? It's not Anna. I'm anymore No, what does it look like? It looks like it says anal Have you seen the Anaheim Angels one? Or the Angels one, it's not Anaheim anymore are they? No, what does it look like?

It looks like it says, Anel. Yeah, it covers up the G and some of the E. Yeah. Now this of course calls to mind, some years ago, I think 2017, when the Rangers were going to let their players select jersey names for a day. Damn. We were gonna have a custom jersey day. What a pull this is. And Alex Claudio, his jersey said Chomo, which I had actually heard not from my time in prison, but just I'd heard that term before. It's child molester. So they had to ask Mr. Claudio to pick a new

one, pick a new name. And yeah, I looked at Evan's replies and like the first five are like, I ordered this when it was up. Am I getting it? I want my titties set. Can't get it anymore? No, that's too bad. Yeah, the Chomo thing, so that'd be like the opposite of what the NBA was doing during the pandemic. Right, yeah. Like, just put the worst thing you can as far as your name. Can I tell you something I was laughing about over the weekend? So I was talking to my buddy about, you know know because we had quite the drinking career together over the years and

You know I told him like hey, you know I go to AA and it's it's not totally for me But I like it and you know there's people basically when you get into recovery It's very common that people find a thing they get obsessed with Motorcycles Skyddiving, fitness, something like that. Podcasting. Podcasting. Being a good, just a great friend. Good dad, yeah.

But we were just joking around about like, a guy who gets really into, he gets a jet ski, or he gets motorcycles, or he gets really into gardening, but he's really into it. That's a very common thing. And we were laughing about how far you could push the conventions of mental health and being like, dude, I don't drink at all anymore.

I don't even think about it. What are you into? I mean, not a lot, but I'm sort of just dabbling in child porn. And your buddy's like, what? I mean, not like a lot, but I'm like sort of just dabbling in child porn. And your buddy's like, what? You're like, not drinking at all. Like I don't even think about it. In fact, I think I like this more.

Good. Yeah. Anyways, you shouldn't really be doing that kind of thing. You know? Well, I mean, it's going to make me drink again. Yeah, no, I guess you won't be drinking. I mean, this is kind of a harmless crime. Yeah, I don't really.

I haven't actually met any kids, so guess if you're... Kind of tomato, tomato here, bud. Getting all over me from my recovery plan. But, t-toss, go Rangers. Now what happened in high school basketball? Why is this on my run sheet? Boy, this really, this was kind of all over Twitter. Should we save it for tomorrow?

Just because we have so much, I don't know, I'm just looking at the time now. We got shows, baby. You wanna save it for tomorrow? Sure. Let's save it for tomorrow because we wanna hear Portland talk, don't we? We do.

And we got the news and stuff, so. Portland talk brought to you by Bear Fight Whiskey and a little weekend check too He's taking his headset off, okay? He's he's going back there behind his desk Think your bear would be in here probably has this oh my god Oh, we got one There's no I was expecting. Okay, so bear fight whiskey. Alright.

Yeah. How does this work? Dan has a bear costume. Yep. Okay. Like a big one. Yeah. Thanks to a...

It's like a big fur coat. That's a bear. Thanks to good listener Houston, who I met yesterday. Look at his claws. In Carrollton I believe. Took a drive over. Yes, he hooked me up with a bear costume for bear fight whiskey. And look on our social media thing for bear fight whiskey stuff coming soon with me wearing a bear fight whiskey costume. Anyway, not only did I get this costume this weekend, but went to bearfightwhiskey.com and looked at the recipes there. And so we actually broke out a little bit of bear bear fight whiskey Made a nice bourbon margarita. Oh

What do you think of that? Okay had a little smoky taste. No, it's wonderful so we implore you to check out bear fight whiskey if whiskey is not usually in my game, but This is fantastic. So bear fight whiskey calm is where you can buy some bottles and support your friends at the dumb zone and get a little bearfight whiskey for yourself. Exactly. Alright, so yeah, I went to Portland, had a couple... Take it off? I'm taking it off. Is it too hot?

Because the swag is amazing. It's warm. Okay. It's actual bear. You ever see, what's that movie with the guy that they actually put him in a real bear and then they burn him? No one? Check the chat. Grizzly Man? no there's a chat no it's not Nicholas cage a guy puts on a they they actually kill a bear they put the guy in a bear costume and they wrap the actual bear and then they burn him in a barn it's it's like a sort of RFK

journey is mid some midsummeridsummer? It's wonderful. Great, great, great movie. Very good. Who's the director? Does it say? I don't know. Okay, you're just looking at the thing. Anyway...

If you see me in a bear in a fight, pour whiskey on me so. There you go. I like that. So I had a couple friends who moved up to Portland. They're about the same age. They do not have kids and they do not intend to have kids. So they were kind of at a point of like, she works in accounting, she can find a job pretty much anywhere.

He found a job up there, so why not? Just do it. It's funny when you meet people like that and then you think of your life And you wonder and obviously, uh, okay, obviously this is the old Louis CK bit but Like obviously I love my kids and blah blah blah blah blah blah But you do start to wonder how much more money would you have? How many more ex well you would not have more more experiences maybe you'd just be having different experiences but they certainly... it is alluring like it's just like alluring to think what if you never got married?

It's all very alluring. Yeah everything that you don't have is alluring. So they moved up there a few a couple years ago. We hadn't been up yet. So we went up there. And it was nice. They live about 10 minutes from downtown. We got in late Friday night. My journey actually starts at the airport.

I went to the bathroom, as I'll do at the airport. And I heard a conversation taking place in the stall next to me. Guy was on the phone, okay? Okay, why are you doing that? You'll find out why. Okay. But I am giving everyone a trigger warning.

The next minute of audio you're gonna hear was recorded in a men's bathroom at DFW, so there's some bathroom sounds in here. You can do that? Well, he's not drinking anymore, so. Oh. Do you guys think I can? What?

Play this? Yeah, why not? I don't know, Blake's being a pussy about it. Just public. Just recording someone's conversation and replaying it? Maybe they shouldn't have had that conversation next to a guy with a... In public.

Yeah. So it's kind of hard to make out, but you'll be able to hear it, and you're definitely real early here gonna hear hand dryer sounds and a fart. Ha ha. Okay. That was a fart damn

you hear the word that just happened no he said it's a domino and if it happens it changes the draft. Now I started recording about 30 seconds after this guy had started talking. He's talking draft on the toilet. NFL Draft. Yeah. He is either someone with a team, a player, or what I think becomes clear later, someone who works in media. But he doesn't change the draft in the event of Browns. Because the Browns don't take the draft. This is gross. This is gross to listen to. He's like, it doesn't change the draft in the event that the Browns take a quarterback. And he's just pissing.

So if the Browns want to take the tour, everything is for stands. He's in a place of war, everything is for standings. He's in a stall? Yeah. Like, a really long time in the ground. And where do you stand in today's segment? What about the person on the other line that can hear him peeing? He's not doing an interview, is he? No, but right now he switched.

This is why I think he's media, is he switches to, what did you think about today's segment about a premier pass rusher did this guy's taking a dump all right I don't want to hear this anymore this is a bother me I want I warned you well that doesn't make it better. He just sat there and talked football. He was like, boy, the dominoes that fall, though, because if Chedure goes there, he's like, there's going to be a run on receiving this guy's just taking a dump.

You book him? Didn't book him. Thought about waiting. What if that's the only place he does his hits? He's got to book a flight, go back to the airport. But magically he becomes an expert when he gets in that stall. Like it's this NFL expert stall. Yeah. That's a Twilight Zone. Kids movie type thing. Got the noisy seat on the plane. You ever had that? What does that mean? Near the back? No, it means that if you move in your seat, it makes a noise.

It's really annoying. Hmm. Well, I wear the noise-canceling headphones. Yeah, and I'm not too worried about it, but I certainly noticed that it was loud. You have the big guy in front of you that the second they allow you to, he pulls that seat. I just take that as a, that's just par for the course.

If it doesn't happen, then you're happy about it How's a run-the-ball guy like that? The plane's not a good place for run-the-ball guy. Oh, I can't imagine So here's the thing about Portland it is definitely in That running for most liberal and really it's not even liberal it's a leftist big city in the country. Of course, during like George Floyd,

and really up until a couple of years ago, maybe even like a year ago, they had like an ever present protest downtown. They had effectively taken over a couple city blocks. They just wouldn't leave you know that would get violent there'd be splashes and it was a bit of bad scene minnesota was the place where they did the shame walk for their mayor the right

that was important yes that's right those layers it was very funny you think portland might try something like the hamster damn thing on the wire they kind of have have they yeah and that's where you're gonna run into a lot of a lot of the conclusions i have here which is like you know i

i hate to do this for the don't talk politics crowd but like i have my beliefs in like a high social safety floor don't die if you get sick some other things but i would not want to live there. Like, one of the first stories that they were telling me when we were just shooting the S on Friday night is, so my buddy works in schools. He used to be a teacher in Fort Worth,

now he sells equipment in schools. And one of their good friends had moved there from Texas, who was a teacher. She made it a month. And here's why I asked him I was like so what do you got here like what's the percentage demographically like is mostly whites or what yeah like Portland the main school district is mostly white it's over 50% white and I'm like so what are we what

are we dealing with here we got like white trash whites or their fights or what he's like no it's not really fights it's more like if there's a kid having And I'm like, so what are we dealing with here? We got like white trash whites or they're fights or what? He's like, no, it's not really fights. It's more like if there's a kid having a meltdown or an issue rather than remove that kid, they'll remove everyone else and let him finish his little tantrum. Like their whole thing that we joke about

about like everybody's a unique little snowflake and don't bother anyone and don't hurt anyone's feelings they take that to a like to an alarming degree to where it just messes up school like there's no hey why don't you just your ass prevailing culture yeah everybody somehow subscribes to enough to where there's just no discipline like Like nobody gets in trouble. So they just do whatever they want all the time. Free range children. Like pretty much.

And this woman, look, she's a woman who moved from Texas to, it's not like any of my friends or get their cell service from Patriot Mobile. This woman's a left of center person. And she's teaching there for a month. She's like, fuck, no. This sucks. This is not how you, there for a month she's like no this is not how you

think there's a problem where you become so consumed with that feeling shit that you can't get anything done and like my buddy you know pretty far left guy but I knew when he moved there that he was good you know he's like this is really this is insane. Yeah, I believe these things, but I also still think you should be able to run a city, and they can't. He was telling me some other notes about how the city runs of,

like there's a building that he said he passes on his run, and it's blighted, it's an old, old building. What's blighted mean it's an old, old building. What's blighted mean? It's, you can't use it. It's, not condemned to be, like, it's boarded up, like it's a piece of trash. Yeah. And he's like, why is this building just sitting here?

It's like in this nice neighborhood, it doesn't make any sense. And so he started looking into it, and I think it might have been a church like a hundred and fifty years ago so despite tons of interest from commercial builders to the city they're like no history he's like it's a piece of shit it's a big it's a building that's sitting in the middle of a neighborhood that's super old but it's super old

nobody's using it for anything. And there have been proposals to the, I don't know, there might be a witch witch there. But they're like, uh-uh. There are no, I don't believe any Walmarts. There are no, we saw one Starbucks the whole time we were there. That's weird.

You're not going to see a McDonald's. I equate that to the Northwest. I know, right? So? I mean they can they don't deal with. They can say we are not going to allow big box stores here. You can say it but also you can set the tone to where those companies know there's just no point because nobody likes it. They're not gonna get a tax break. No. And also, um. Cause some companies will put their Amazon warehouse somewhere. Cause just for that they get a, yeah. Um, obviously you've seen on the news. That company will do the Amazon warehouse.

Um, theft out of control. Really? Out of control. Like to go into a Target, you have to walk through like a cage. There's a cage around the front of the building. And I was talking to Kat, Wade's wife, and she was like, I don't even like going grocery shopping.

She was like, I do an online order and I pick it up. Because to go into a grocery store, there's armed guards everywhere. There's armed guards at the front of the store. There's armed guards everywhere. There's armed guards at the front of the store. There's a metal detector. You do have to go through a cage type thing. He said that the Apple store downtown, they built a literal cage over it because the whole thing, it's like a glass cube. So what, like after hours, you mean? All done. Okay. a glass cube. So what, like after hours, you mean? All done. OK.

People will just smash the glass. And it's this whole, like, you know, we joke around about like F corporations or whatever. But there, they live it. And they see Apple or Nike and they're like, F your profits. Like, you got slaves. Basically, they're living the way that if you took everything super literal and you're like, well, I don't like slaves. Like, yeah, slaves. Well, there's a store.

I'm going to burn it down. I asked him if they had any Republicans on their city council. He was like, dude, we have one guy who's like a Democrat, like a Joe Manchin, like old school Democrat, and like that guy can't appear anywhere without being called a fascist. He's like, no, we don't have, we don't have Republicans. There are a billion strip clubs, big strip club city. Interesting. And they do it, it's kind of like artsy right like

so you'll have strip clubs that are kind of like the one we went that I went to in Montreal where it's like classy and you might run into a lot of like boudoir like gothy type Dan would be in heaven but it's like strip clubs that feel kind of artsy. So much so that one of them that I saw a billboard for and then subsequently looked into, Casa Diablo, is Portland's only vegan strip club. Which seems like something from Portlandia. Like it's that stereotypical. And when you think about it- Well they're all kind of pescatarian, right?

Hey. Thanks, man. Thanks, guys. But so you think of like, oh, the stereotypical conversations it would take place. There's no way it's just, you know, it's not like you go sit down somewhere in Texas and we're actually talking about horses and cattle trading. But like we were at a coffee shop waiting to get our coffee Saturday morning

and there's a guy talking to his friend and he's like, they wouldn't know punk if it hit him in the face. Like that band's a bunch of posers. And I'm like, that's what I thought you'd be saying. You're just sitting around on Saturday morning talking about how somebody else isn't punk enough? Oh, on the theft thing, Nike, who of course is in Beaverton, so they're everywhere in

Portland, but Nike had to, they closed down one store, their main retail store because it was getting robbed all the time. So they opened something called the Nike Community Store, which was supposed to be like, let me actually read the, it was, Nike's commitment to supporting and uplifting Portland's North and Northeast community is unwavering. So they had put this place up, it was gonna do a lot of community involvement,

it was supposed to be like a Nike store for the community that they would take care of, shut in like three months, not opening back up. They just destroyed it. People just throw bricks through the glass, steal shit, and that's it. That's sad. This is all sad to me.

I would want... Okay, so I'll tell you this. My utopia is that people just treat each other like they wanna be treated and all that kind of stuff. I don't know. There utopia is that people just treat each other like they want to be treated and all that kind of stuff. Man, I don't know. There's nothing, that doesn't exist anywhere? Well, I do think it's a beautiful place, there's a lot to do.

People are friendly, but they're not Texas friendly. But that's like, you have to know that's an outlier down here. I've talked to enough people now that have moved. What do you mean? What's an outlier? People are just friendlier here. Regardless of the politics and like if you need to get an abortion. But people here are genuinely and generally friendlier than in other cities. We started walking around in a downtown area

and there was like a bookstore, not PALS pals but another bookstore and we started to walk in there there was a bunch of old women in there but they're like old Portland women I don't know how to describe it but a lot of Subarus being driven a lot of moms in shorts that are kind of down to their knees just not a lot of sexiness for Portland women. So we walked in and a lady stopped us at the door, an older lady, and she was like, hey, you know, we're not closed, you guys can come in, but hope you can deal with a group of knitters

on a knitter crawl. We were like, what? What? And we go in and we're like, what's this? They sell yarn? And then, yeah, they sell yarn. So what we have here. The bookstore.

Actually, what she said were, I screwed this joke up. She was like, at the bookstore, they sell yarn. She was like, we have a bunch of yarners in here. They're on a yarn crawl. Okay. And I was like, yarner? And I kind of walked in and looked, they're just knitting. And I'm like, did you guys just determine that knitters is too close oh you call yourself you call

yourself yarders funny because they're just knitting yeah but she didn't say like that would be the reason yeah it has to be yeah but so these women were in fact on a yarn crawl where they were just going to different stores that sell yarn. Like a pub crawl. Well that seems great. That's Portland for you. A lot of homeless, right? Yeah.

Yeah, a lot. And see, that's another thing too. I talked to my buddy about it and he's like, they're not even close to dealing with it. Dirty? No. Not really dirty. Just a city Dirty? No. Not really dirty. Just a city. Okay, no. Not really dirty.

But, you know, they don't do anything to try to house people. It's just as bad there as it is in... That's interesting. I know. I thought we're all liberal and stuff. Wade's general take was like, these people get nothing done. Like they will get this or that passed for some historic thing or that but like they don't get anything done. So they're all like early 20s stoners. Or

yeah that never grew out of that. Yeah. But then you know you're going you just walk up to a park like a neighborhood park or it feels like a neighborhood park where people are just taking their kids on a Sunday afternoon and it's just full of 200 foot trees like your basic city park is the pretty thing you're gonna see that day and then we went to the gorge which is like there's a mountain there went hiking all day you're super close to Seattle. Well, not super, few hours,

but you can get to a lot of different places. It's a beautiful, beautiful place. And really cool. It's just, they're kinda doing their own thing. We tried to order pizza last night, or two nights ago, and the place we called, it was like seven o'clock. They were like, ah, we're out of everything. And we were like, how does that happen?

And they were like, this is super common. Like, places here just open when they want to be open, they close when they want to close. The Sunday night pizza place, they were like, yeah, we're pretty much out of everything. They're definitely kind of just doing their own thing up there. And certainly not big on sports. I know I've told you in the past, got a buddy who went right out of college and moved to

Portland and he was real surprised because he lived in a whatever suburban neighborhood and would want to go out and throw the football around with the boys when you're drinking some beers, cul-de-sac or whatever. Hey, let's grab a football and we'll just throw it. And the guys, like he said, he would throw a football and it would hit him in the face. They were not athletically inclined at all. But if one of the guys in the neighborhood said, hey, you want to have a jam session? Like they all got an instrument, they'll all go meet in your garage, and all of a sudden

you're playing tunes within a half hour. But they can't do anything athletic. Like they've just grown up in that. I would imagine high school football is not the same there. No. No. No. They do not put an emphasis on athletics at all. No.

Actually, I remember I saw one high school football stadium, and it was tiny. But no, it's not a thing. They're not putting public funds? That's the thing, though. OK, cool. I think that would be good for society that you don't just put everything into sports

and public funding a $50 million football stadium for your high school team and all this, because you could use that money correctly. But in your saying that they are not, what are they doing with the money? They're not using it correctly. No, I mean they've got a, like there is no greatest homeless shelter ever.

We've figured out the homeless problem. Like we care about it. Or we figured out the drug problem because we care about it. We're gonna treat it as it should be, you know. Yeah, it doesn't seem like that's what's happening. They do have a lot of parks. They have a whole lot of parks everywhere you turn.

But the beauty was already there. It isn't like they had to do something to create the beauty. And then how does that place turn into that? I don't know. Yeah, I was joking too on the people being nice thing. Tell me how embarrassing this would be so again they have no kids don't go out a few nights a week have a few beers go

to trivia go to comedy go to music and you try to meet people and my buddy said uh... he said yeah people at home are definitely friendlier like i went to the local bar one afternoon, talked to a guy for a little while, had a couple beers with him, and I was like, yo, I live around here, if you live around here,

let me get your number. The guy goes, no. And then we kind of glossed over that in conversation. I was like, wait, did you just tell me that you asked a bro for his number and he cock-blocked you in digits? I can't say that I've ever had that happen to me. A very vulnerable moment to start with.

Yeah, bro, I feel like we're vibing. Yeah, the guy was like, no. Like, okay, well. That's really weird. I was like, you, who I've always thought was like the coolest, hipsterest guy in the world, is just a basic up here damn anything Blake would fair handoff in Portland for a week poorly we should do a week there just to see let's take our our tour we're taking a Texas tour later this month oh by the way your phone has a motion

sickness app now you guys know about that? What do you mean? Like it's native to the phone. You just go to settings, you can turn on motion sickness and it works. What do you mean? How does it affect you? If you look at your phone when you're in a plane

or you're in a car, I get sick. But they did something to the screen. You'd have to see it to where they put these dots on there and it like moves with your eyes. Works. If you're an emotion sickness sufferer. And that's today's. Today in Portland.

Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News. Let's start here. Brought to you by Fairlease. Thanks, Fairlease. Brought to you by Fair Lease. Thanks Fair Lease. Brought to you by Fair Lease. Check them out at fairlease.org. Wild Police Chase. Went through Fort Worth, Hurst, Grapevine with a bit of a twist. So Fort Worth police got a call last night around 6 o'clock from someone who said that someone they knew came to their house and said that he had harmed his roommate. So the police respond to that and the suspect was gone. Shortly after that they see the suspect's vehicle on the road and there's a police chase

that lasts 40 minutes. 20 plus police cars comes to an end at the Hearst Lowe's on Grapevine Highway. I don't know if that's the preferred business call Lowe's or if you're more of a South Lake Boulevard guy. I'll go South Lake Boulevard but I have been to that one walking around this winter. Because I couldn't go back to the same place day after day Yeah, I think that's smart. So yeah, then I'd be like, all right. Well, we'll get mama's pizza tonight and I'll do Cuz that's down there. So the police throw out the spike strips the subject suspect runs him over No, I got you. Where do you live? Let's go check your house Well, they go to his house and find a 28-year-old woman dead. So, on the

run for- Should've lied about where his house was. For a good reason. Yeah. Are you guys aware that from the makers of Gulf of America, that a few weeks ago, Dan Patrick tried to get not of the Danettes and McLovin. The Texas Dan Patrick put forth, I guess, a bill that we would call the New York Strip, the Texas Strip. I saw something like that. Like, yeah. Everything's insane. This is like Freedom Fries. Saw something like that like Yeah

Everything's insane Do this is like freedom fries freedom fries fries were awesome. What else were there steak? Yeah Okay, what does that do? Well makes people know that it came from Texas it owns them makes people know that it came from texas it owns them well you know in the making a restaurant owner in uh... albany tech uh... new york is suing the state of texas

i did see where the uh... canadians are saying uh... it's no longer called an americano the coffee for almost i sought he's tweet that he had his VPN on and he accidentally went on Reddit while he was logged in in Canada and was like, whoa, they do not like America. What do you mean?

You know, the whole trying to take him over thing. I don't understand what the VPN and all that. TC's VPN was in Canada. He just got a Canadian version of Reddit. So he got on Reddit and every post was just about... The algorithm was... Yeah. I see.

So anyways... What's he doing with the VPN? What? Oh. Watching porn. OK. There's a billion uses. Are there really, besides porn? Yeah. Here's the guy there's a billion uses are there really besides porn. Yeah

Here's the guy that uses a VPN for porn saying it's not just for porn No, honey, I just want to watch the Rangers I Was it was gonna leak some documents? I don't I don't I have no idea Anyways, this guy in New York is suing basically This is just someone else who's like I could get myself in the news because Dan Patrick got himself in the news. Oh so his restaurant is in the news. Yeah they're gonna go there and order his New York strip steak. That's right. Sweet. Do you guys see Xavier Worthy got arrested over the weekend? Did he choke somebody? Feels, I feel like, did you say misunderstanding?

That's what I heard. That's how he got arrested over a misunderstanding? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, his lawyers say that he'd been trying to kick this woman out for a while. And that she refused to vacate the residence and was trying to extort him. But, yeah. to vacate the residence and was trying to extort him. But, yeah.

I got one of them who won't vacate the residence. He was charged with impeding breath. Yeah, right? Choking. That's not choking, he just impeded breath. Yeah, right? You're choking. That's not choking, you've just impeded breath. That's awesome. Intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly impeding normal breathing. The laws

are so stupid. It's just all written and you're like I guess that means that. There's a way to do it not recklessly. That's a sex thing, Blake. Go on. What do you do? You never did a little light choking? No.

I don't mind being choked. Just a little, you know, lose a little blood flow to the head. And after 54 years, Southwest Airlines announced today that bags will no longer fly free. That hurts. It's been the policy since their founding in 1970 and one. Well, you remember my my bit. You should only pay for baggage that you carry on to the flight. They have it backwards. You pay to put it under the... but no one wants to do that. No one wants to wait for their baggage.

So you should... bag should fly free unless you bring it into the cabin. Do you have to pay for a backpack? No. If it can fit in the seat in front of you under the seat then no But if you have to use an overhead bin just because the overhead bins get so full yeah But now people are gonna be trying to shove suitcases under your seat Because you're gonna try to not pay Look, I don't need run the ball guy getting upset

I don't know how did they go from two bags to none? Should they've just gone to one bag? One bag free? Yeah, why not? Now you still will get two if your A-list royalty and Southwest credit card holders will still receive one free check back Which I do believe I have that credit card and it just kind of sits there So are they still gonna do the mentality, getting on the plane? Because I thought that was kind of part of the... You're going to get bags free, but you're going to have to have this. It's not listed... Oh yeah, it is. Sorry. It's not in effect, but they will be ending that. Really? Back to assigned seats too. And you can also find Southwest on all the websites now, which was previously kind of

a pain in the butt. Your travelocities of the world. What else was there besides Freedom Fries? What, you couldn't get Southwest on that? Why? I don't know. Different computer system. And like when you go to Google Flights, it won't show up, right?

Yeah, a completely different back end. You couldn't search it. Like companies wouldn't let you book Southwest for corporate flights because they couldn't access it. You had to do it directly on their website. Well, who knew? You guys ready for Fire Fest 2? What? Is that real? I saw a thing. Well, Billy McFarland, who you may remember.

See the guy who went to jail for Fire Fest 1? He did go to jail. He did go to jail. He says... that he is selling tickets to a Fire Fest 2. And swears it'll be different. Well,. We gotta give the guy a lot of credit for plowing forward and really for realizing we've got excellent name recognition on this bit. Yeah, it worked out. Now we only have one confirmed

performer so far. And that of course recent Joe Rogan guest, Antonio Brown. What's he gonna do? He raps. Oh really? I've seen him do it before. He had one song, it was really bad. Really not good at all. That's too bad.

Good dance though. Yeah, he was on Rogan. I had big Rogan dreams for my flights Like he was on Schultz was on Andrew Schultz was on he's got a new special And I didn't really listen to any of it I mean what what can a be really say what you do on the flight? I always have big plans too. Bring lots of books, lots of this. I do a pretty good job of it so... I like working on a flight.

I do nothing but that. Like I pay for the Wi-Fi as quick as I can. You'll get an email from me eight months later. What does that mean? Just I'll save emails when I get them and I'm like, this looks like it requires a longer response than I'll do them on a plane. Oh, okay. Way, way later. But I'll, yeah, I'll try to work on the plane.

Just being honest with you. I feel like you're stuck there and you just have to. It's definitely different not being able to drink. So on the way out, I brought like a huge iced coffee. Like I wanted something that I could constantly...brought my own water. I never really prepare for flights but this time I brought like snacks. I brought my own extra water bottle, two extra waters, a huge coffee. I never did a lot of drinking on the plane. I think only once and it was with Corby. Of course. It's the best. Got hammered. Get

the lady. Because quickly, I'd say about half those flight attendants are luscious themselves and they ID you pretty quick. So you pay for the first one and then they come by and they give you like the little, don't worry about it. They just feed you a couple more. And you're like, I wasn't gonna order those, don't need them, but now they're in my hand. But yeah, I don't know. I tried to like do breathing exercises and then I read a lot. My wife will just watch two movies.

Like that ain't my game at all. Just not for me. Did you watch other people's movies that put the sound down? I can review a Nora for you. Okay. It's about a hooker. Okay. And there's some dispute over whether or not she actually got married or not to this guy that was paying her. My wife watched it. Oscar worthy for sure. Isn't this your bit though? You can watch a movie with, you don't hear the sound. I like it. I like watching one row over three rows up and just getting a feel for Thor Ragnarok. Is it?

Never seen it. Isn't there a bunch of nudity in that? Yeah. Did she skip or did you just let it fly? Yeah, I looked over a couple times and she was scrubbing. Is this the hooker movie? Here's one that I didn't remember from the time. Like freedom fries. This ice cream was called I Hate the French Vanilla. Yeah, it was a fun time man. I'm sure there's a bunch of them. I'm sure there's a bunch of them i'm sure there's a bunch of them i'd be sure to use

the those is a good one you light chalk it all play on shock at all tactics qualis roofing brings us uh us today in history today. They are kind of a foundational sponsor.

They do roofing, not foundations, right? Which is odd. Yeah. Yes, that is very ironic, because they will deal with your roof like they have here at my house. They have replaced my roof. One of the great things about Qualys is if you have roof damage

You already know you're gonna need a new roof and they will deal with the insurance company for you It's always lots of calls back and forth this and that Forms we ended up paying nothing out of pocket just the deductible. That's all we ended up having to pay for But yeah call Qualys roofing apparently they say that get, like, just a roof inspection now and again. I don't know that we ever did that. Probably could have saved us some money in the long run had we done that. But Qualys Roofing is the one that you want to call or check out on the internet at QualysGC.com. If you get a roof inspection, they'll just give you a Dumb Zone t-shirt for free. And if you end up getting a roof through Qualis, they will pay for a sit-in, where you can sit in studio or here at the den for free as well.

817-500-9008. Great dudes at Qualis Roofing. The Dumb Zone presents Today in Zerif. So the chat gave us a bunch of nicknames for boobs. Oh, okay. We've got Hoo-Hoo's, Num-Nums, Meat Balloons, Up-Tops, Twins, Mamary Mounds, Fun Bags, Mama Bears, up tops, twins, mammary mounds, fun bags, mama bears, milkers, sweater hams, udders, bazoombas, fun bags and hood ornaments.

I like hood ornaments. Read the one again that had the word mounds as the last one. Mamary mounds? Is that misspelled? Mam-ary? No, it's mammary. Mamary mounds?

Like the mammary gland. Is that misspelled ma'am airy that's memory memory mounts like the memory gland Ma'am airy You can't read no. I can't can't even read What if we do? some viewer mail birthdays to start This is one of the only direct messages I've ever gotten on Substack. I'll get a SS message every now and then.

But Ty says it is my birthday. This was March 10th. I am some convoluted algebraic jersey number formula that equals 49 years old. More established the run Blake I'm glad Jake exercises demons in his back more saroi long sodes are fine with me from Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Ty Dear Episioplastor parentheses, someone that does surgery on abnormal vulvas. Whoa. What's a vulva?

It feels like a car, right? Something down there, right? Pokes out? It's all hanging there like ramen? It's like the outside board. Ramen noodle? Ha ha ha! Ha! It is my Dirk minus Jason Tatum birthday.

Like I didn't think it was possible to describe the female anatomy in a way that made it grosser to me. Ha ha ha! Now I'm like, ffff, ramen. If you ever see some ramen noodle hanging down there, you'll know what I mean. I think that means stay away. You'll know what I mean. Well you're already there. You just get the little flavor pack sprinkled on there and you're good. Anyway I had a little people gift delivered to the dragon den. My 18 month old loves these so I thought maybe you would too. This came in the snail mail.

Little people. Which is a little people gift. I thought we were getting one. Yeah, here's our very own. This is Little Collectibles I guess. The Boys. Oh hell yeah. That's very cool. The Boys. Right there is Homelander, there's Starlight, Queen Maeve. Anyway. Ooh, Jack. I think that's his name in the show.

I don't remember the name of the show. Anyway, the point is, it is Jason's birthday. He says, I'd like to add to the ant off a building discourse. Okay. There's a hide-off of which a house cat will survive because it can write itself. Not an experiment. They don't throw cats off higher and higher heights and compare injuries. Just a collection of cats that have accidentally fallen off balconies in cities with skyscrapers.

Presumably to honor their leader, Eric Clapton's son. Oh my god! The magic height is approximately seven stories. Anything seven and higher, they have a chance to relax and prepare for landing and spread out like a squirrel, a flying squirrel. Under seven, they're tense and freaked out and have more injuries than over seven. Similar to how drunk people survive car crashes better because they're relaxed like a crash test dummy and not tense and freaking out before impact. This checks out. Yeah, so he says, my leaders are IJBree and Riding the Taurus.

Jason, who is at Greeso. Oh, long time OG. this is interesting seven stories. Uncle Gut Buster today March 10th the 30th birthday of my younger brother Brian. Bri. His leaders are Dan Blake Jake and somebody named Jub. His bleeders are Julie and Caitlin if in fact lesbians do have periods People please play a no puppet drop shock to learn of your choice in celebration That is from Jameson Guys know Jameson the greats no puppet. He gives us granola It's fire you know granola and

This one just came in during the program. Dear Pundit of the Poon, Sunday was my birthday. Let's see. Sorry for busting your casting couch. Hopefully the swords and the gay frog shirt made up for it. Sex for points is my leader. More Julie, more Ted Emmerich, Baby Arm. Always punt. F Nico, love you boys from DF Darren.

Do you remember Darren? Yeah, he gave us swords. Hell yeah, that Darren, Darren Pope? Yeah. That sword is so nice. Depot? Elsewhere. Today is Tuesday, March 11.

On this day in 1918, the first confirmed United States cases of a deadly global flu pandemic were reported. flu pandemic were reported. The outbreak of influenza claimed 20... okay so they estimate the worldwide outbreak claimed 20 to 40 million lives. I would think you could narrow that down a little better even in 1918. Yeah but... that's a very big sample size. Yeah but people who were dying of like starvation, they just said had influenza. That's exactly what it was. So it's kind of hard to tell the numbers are a little off. I saw a guy get hit by a Model T. They wrote influenza right there on his body.

On this day in the year 2020, the World Health Organization declared the coronavirus outbreak a pandemic. That made it real. On the same day is when the NBA suspended its season until further notice after a Utah Jazz player, who was that? Where'd he go there? Oh, that's right. He was the one that touched all the mics like the week prior, right? Mm-hmm. He was coughing on his hands.

On this very same day is when Tom Hanks said he and his wife Rita had tested positive in Australia. And on the very same day, Harvey Weinstein sentenced to 23 years in prison for the whole raping. We're just gonna gloss over what else happened in the NBA that night? Was that the very day that Bobon went for 30 something? 31 and 17. Drained a 3 to end the game? Couldn't be stopped just bodying yokich It was held to 14 points

Not retired. Yeah Well, I don't know if he's retired but I know he's not He's it looks like he might be in China That's hilarious Well, they got Yao Ming He'll he's not the biggest human. He'll be on the Lakers next year. Elsewhere in birthdays, Ryan Ruah. Hard to say his name, he's 35.

Ryan Ruah? Ruah. Martan Ruszynski is 54, former star. Third leg, Greg, 40. Wow. Inner ear, inner eye. Greg Olson's only a year older than me or the same age as me? That's concerning. Thought he was old. Chris Burke is 45. Dan. You have to imagine, it's an amazing story. He was a major league baseball player. Now, negative 1.2 war, but I would say still,

that's very, very impressive. If you just think about the odds that he had to overcome to even get to the majors. Sure, developmentally he was. Now you can't expect him to be a, replacement level, like an average player. He's going to be worse than that, but he's in the game, good clubhouse guy. Okay, jokes aside, I mean, maybe I don't know that much about Down Syndrome.

But I know that something very similar to Down Syndrome that my uncle is afflicted with. They don't live that long. Is it shocking that Chris Burke is 59? I'm not familiar with there's a down syndrome age thing. Do you see a lot of senior citizens? Average life expectancy 60 years. Okay. It's way longer than I would have thought, but yeah, I mean, I know you haven't, because if you had, you'd never stop laughing. What's the reason? Because right now you're trying to picture a senior's... I wouldn't do that. So what's the, what is the, just the average life expectancy of? It's like 72, right, still? Is it? COVID did a little number on us, but... 79. American? Wow, that's higher than I thought.

Nice. I got a chance, man. Yeah. I can get to a honey. Then the partying starts. Then I'll do heroin. I'll do it with you. On my 100th birthday.

That'd be so funny. Dude. Cause they bring, they- We get big numbers on that. Oh my God. That'd be so funny. Dude, we get big numbers on that. Oh my god. That'd be so funny though. A 100 year old does heroin? They set it up with like Hannah Batah and like the feel good story.

They come out to your house, your whole family's there and it's just some chick with triple D's slamming a rig into your arm. Right when Fox 4 lights Smacked out and horny at a hundred thirty two years old today Maybe the beginning of his prime actually is it brows birthday Anthony Davis Wow fantastic I

Hate that he knows he's a top 75 player. Like he's very... Like that list didn't mean anything to any fan, but it meant something to him. Let's just admit it. The guy sucks. It sucks that he's here. He's not funny. He didn't even win Rookie of the Year. I was just looking over his stats today just trying to see how Just how much worse he is. Doesn't play a position that You can't trade those. You don't trade a quarterback for a tight end

Even if he's a really really good tight end, but if he's super funny Becky Hammond 48 aces Sean Springs 50 man safety. Yeah corner Defensive back. Corner, right? He was a 99 in Madden. He was. Bobby Abreu is 51. Today's Wargame winner, 60.2. Probably Royds. Rupert Murdoch, 94. Jodie Comer, 32. So hot. Who's that? She's in Killing Eve. Oh, okay.

Good show. Terrence Howard is 56. Invented math. And the elements which are present within the physical realm. Joe Rogan, they have become zero times zero. It says he invented his own language of logic called terriology. Hahaha! Listen, buddy. Just do hustle and flow. Really good in that movie. Ha ha.

Jerry Zucker, movie director, is 75. Molecules. Paul Wall, 43. The People's Champ. Joey Budafuco is 69. He's the one whose 17-year-old mistress shot his wife in the face, I believe. What a story.

Nina Hartley is 66. Whoa! That is the goat right there. I think she's like a professor now. Not a fan. No, I mean I'm not a fan, but I'm a fan that she's an old lady who's all hot. She was in Boogie Nights, right? Was she? Wasn't she the one in the

driveway? Oh there you go. She was the one married to William H. Macy I think. That's right, who's constantly hitting plow. She's like a... She's like, you're embarrassing me. She's getting gangbanged. Oh god it's tough. Anyways yeah she's like a professor and like, sex activist. Director Peter Berg is 63. Dude, that guy... What a weird filmography. Like what? Uh, well he did Friday Night Lights, but he also did Very Bad Things. And like, Lone Survivor.

I didn't like Friday Night Lights, the movie. No. The books Have you ever read the book? I think you'd like it. No. You love high school sports and stuff. I love it. You like read? Sorry. Wallace Langham actor is 60. He was on CSI and The Larry Sanders Show. He was, what's his name, his writing partner. Who he had in studio a couple weeks ago.

Piven? Yeah. Jeremy Piven. Lisa Loeb, 57. And then... Really? From the gallery. Yeah, no no there's nothing wrong with her she's at the station a couple times then a couple of our heroes to end birthdays we have Bobby McFerrin is 75 I used to have a Bobby McFerrin cover band that's just like one of those things where when you learn like you've known Dan for a

while then you really are like he was into Bobby McFerrin. And you're like, yeah. That makes sense. Same thing if you told me Saroy was really into Bobby McFerrin. I'd be like, yep. Why not just a normal band? Don't know. I don't know that I'm really into Bobby McFerrin.

Too late, bud. Oh, you just want to leave this out there? Okay. I don't care. Well, I do associate you with Bobby McFerrin. Well, it's just, that's the joke. The cover band joke. Do you know who Bobby McFerrin is? I'm looking at his Wikipedia.

So he played music without any instruments. He did like SNL. It was a big deal. Like there was a very short time when Bobby McFerrin burned extremely bright. And it was a time in my life when I had the, you can get 20 CDs for one penny. The Columbia House. So he was in my top 20. Because I ended up getting a Bobby McFerrin Disc but he'd he'd just take regular popular songs and then he'd play a maybe like

Like just whatever he would hit in his voice and like he was he would lay down ten tracks of himself you know, he's just gonna do the bass part and he'll just do this and then he'd mix it and that's why it's a wonderful joke to say that you were in a cover band, because you can't do a, can't lay down 10. I'm not gonna write down Dan was in a Bobby McFerrin cover band.

Because you actually did a moment ago, believe it. I still do. did a moment ago believe it I still do yeah like tonight opening for whatever it's it stands I don't even know what we would call the Bobby McFerrin let's think about it all right and Jake's hero to end birthdays Johnny Knoxville 54. It's a hard 54. He was kind of in a cover band of Johnny Knoxville in a way. Born on the Stain Now Dead, Doc Ellis won the Cy Young on Mushrooms. He pitched a no-hitter on acid and I went looking that up this morning. Apparently there's a, there was like a little documentary about it. A little cartoon one? Mm-hmm.

That's good. Yeah. But then there was also, there was some other documentary he was involved in where he talked about it. And I was just starting to watch it a little bit. The Pirates of 1971 fielded the first ever all-black lineup in baseball. Hmm. And now it's like there's just all black lineup in baseball. And now it's like there's just no black people in baseball. That's what they say.

I've read a lot about that. Or I'd say that. People have looked at it, right? The 80s. I don't know. Like why did this happen? You'd think as someone who said I read a lot about it, I can tell you.

You did read something. But I don't remember what they said the main... Because yeah, it's like... Well, part of it is that Latin players are also competing. Kicking ass, yeah. Yeah. And born on the state now dead, Vinny Paul. Did you ever find the Greg Maddux documentary?

No. Have you? No. Have you? No. I just know that you were stoked to watch it. I'm very stoked on all the clips I've seen. Eventually, I'll have seen enough clips that will add up to the whole documentary.

Speaking of Vinnie Paul, why are the stars off until Friday? Someone, I asked my stars friends, they're like, random, just a random scheduling thing. You just don't play from Sunday to Friday? I gotta try to get into it here. You got a void in your life now? A local sports void? What if you became Mr. Hockey?

I've told you before that I think hockey's my second favorite sport. Tell me about the guy they got. I don't know much about him. Oh, okay. I read about the guy they got. I don't know much about him. I read everything about it. But he's really good, right? Yeah, he's a finisher, too. And I don't know as much if the stars are

we touched on this show. He's a Finnish finisher? Finnish finisher, being the mafia. I don't think they're making moves because of what's happening with the Mavs, but I think they're aware of it. And I think they're aware that, hey, this could be real opportunity. Yeah.

Yeah, think of it monetarily. Season tickets, whatever. You like going to the AAC, you like doing stuff with your family, but you don't want to support those who stabbed you in the back or the front or wherever they stabbed you. Why don't we all go together? I'd be down.

I love, yeah. Okay. Why are you we all go together? I'd be down. Yeah. OK. Why are you yelling at me? Dead on the Stay Still Dead, Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin. And Philo. That was an accident, right? Boy, I don't know, man.

I think it was an accident. Like he left it there or something. I don't know. Over the weekend. Comes back and everything's healed. Mm-hmm. It's not a weekend. Also died on the Stay Still Dead.

Philo Farnsworth, he invented TV. Says here. I thought that was Jake. Jake invented YouTube. Oh. Oh, by the way, here's a new one. It's free for all you app developers out there. You're riding in the car with a buddy and he's trying to tell you about like an article or a video and he's like I'll send it to you later. Not anymore. With my new technology where you simply say send article to Jake and it air drops it to me on voice command.

Just by saying it. Yep. Anyway closing remarks are brought to you by OwnWell. Ah! Doing a little Own Well this week myself. It is a property tax season. Around mid-March, most counties in Texas are having those assessments done. So sign up today at ownwell.com slash the dumb zone. They'll help save you money on property taxes. 86% of their customers who appeal get money back. That money they get back.

You keep more keyboard that than you would with other companies. That's right. Other companies will take like 50%. No. Ownwell 25%. Lowest rate on the market. And you only pay if they save you money. Property taxes. They're a pain in the butt. Boo. Payless. I don't like them. I don't like them. One bit own world comm slash the dumb zone just takes a few minutes So what's what's this guy got? Cowboy sign turpin Really? That's exciting. It's turpin time. That is kind of exciting I got a couple things. So y'all talked about blue zones a lot the last two weeks

Mainly Dan. Okay. Well, I'll direct this at Dan then. It might just be a giant ball sack. There's a study that says that they don't exist. That it's a bunch of... Oh no. You heard last week Trump was all talking about we got these people on social security who are 350 years old. Turns out the places that are Blue Zones,

a lot of pension fraud, a lot of bad record keeping, people appear to be older than they actually are. I there's an article about it right here. Yep, might just be an entire giant game. Because it does seem like a lot of them are in like, you know, remote areas. And it's tough to get to this one village in Belize. But here it is, and their records building burnt down six years ago. Everybody lives to be 117 years old, yeah. Let's study their diet. They eat primarily this and this.

They get exercise. That's so great though, the whole thing is just... I think the bit is there's a lot of people, and this isn't throwing you that under the bus Dan, that want to believe there's a way to eat That's like you can eat a bunch of fat and be unhealthy as long as there's lots of stairs where you live Turns out you actually just have to eat healthy What else I got I'm here this week from Seattle for a nonprofit charity thing. I run it's called the Hunter Burton Memorial we do Suicide awareness called the what memorial? Hunter Burton Memorial. Hunter Burton is a friend of mine. He took his own life 12 years ago. His family wanted to do a

memorial thing for him, so we run an event every year. It's a tabletop gaming thing, but we remember him and do this cool thing every year. It's this weekend in Hearst at the Hearst Conference Center. If people are into gaming out there, want to come check it out, they can come check it out. I have things. What kind of games are we running? So tabletop games. So you would think D&D, but there's other like card games that people play. We have... Does Warhammer fit

into this? Other conventions like this might have Warhammer, we do not. Okay, I don't really know what Warhammer is but I know it's a big deal and I know that their corporate office is down the street from my house in Grapevine. Yeah, they play with little miniatures. Okay. These little resin plastic miniatures that you build an army out of and then you put them on a giant table and you move them around. Okay, so I wasn't that far off. Yeah, but like other similar things we play Magic the Gathering, Lorcanah, Yu-Gi-Oh, that kind of thing. Card games. So I have a couple things. Jake made a comment about hoodies

but I have some shirts that are our merch shirts from the last couple of years. Are you from here originally? Yeah, I went to South Lake Errol, graduated in 2006. OK. It was fun driving up here because I haven't driven through South Lake in a while. You know, it's gone to hell. Yeah, it's gone to hell. You know, this all used to be a field, right?

Yeah, yeah. So so you know where the central market is, like across the street. There used to be an airstrip there. Yeah. When I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah, I flew into that airstrip my drug my dad flies a little plane I've flown in out of that like a dozen times damn that's baller. Yeah, it's really cool. Oh well It's not cool anymore, but I got some shirts here a few different sizes cool what I had left over very soft Yes, they're the you know these Bella these Bella Canvas. Now, do you feel like if, and it's a noble cause, but the shirt has, it has 988 on it. Yeah. The suicide crisis hotline.

And if you, if you Google like therapy near me, that'll come up. I'm familiar. But potentially awkward situation if that's how somebody decides to call. Like they're, if you're walking around and they're, oh, I'll call. That means they're, uh, thinking about killing themselves and just. Would you rather not help them? Well, I would rather help, but just, I feel like the times which having the suicide hotline on your shirt can help.

But what if you see that shirt and you hadn't been thinking of killing yourself, but then you think, hmm. I'll call that number and have them talk me out of it. No, no, it just actually just raises your awareness that suicide even exists as an object. That's not the goal though, right? No, obviously the goal is not to remind people about suicide. It's to remind people that suicide is a thing. It is bad. You should care about your friends and remember that 988 is an option.

Okay. It is an option. What else do I got in my bag? How's Seattle? Seattle's nice. It's not hot. I feel like I'd like to live in Seattle, but I don't know. I feel like- Your Portland thing has turned me off to the Midwest.

It's like Portland, but more serious. Yeah, exactly. It's a real system. Adults are running in Portland. Yeah, one of the big political issues in Seattle is like Amazon doesn't want to have to pay as much tax for all of their high earning employees in Seattle.

So like that's the big political thing because there's people that want to house the homeless. But in order to pay for that, they want to tax Amazon. And Amazon has a lot of money to spend on local. Seattle's a real city. Yeah. They have headquarters of companies there. And I'm not saying Portland has none of that, but it ain't.

There's not even really like a downtown. That is one thing that's really cool about it. I feel like Cleveland might have a little bit of this to it as well. Let's say that in the city of Portland, there's like 20 neighborhoods, and they all have their own downtown. Interesting.

But there's not really like a skyscraper, like downtown Portland. It's just that every little neighborhood has a downtown with their three bars and restaurants. It's kind of neighborhood-y cool like that. Seattle, I think of as more like it's a real. Yeah, there's suburbs and there's little downtowns and stuff.

They got St. Arnold. Yeah. I got this giant mouse pad for stuff. They got St. Donald and so it's... Yeah. Yeah. I got this giant mouse pad for you. We use this to... Why? Well, we use this to play games on. Oh, OK. If you're playing a card game on a table,

you want something that isn't just a table. But you can use this giant mouse pad. Why not? Yeah, why not? I've never seen a mouse pad that big. Well, I have bigger. I thought about bringing you a really big one. And then I was like, there's no way this guy tables are big.

Clayton's like, come on with it. And then we make a number of poker chips every year. So I brought some of those, too. You can check them out. They got pictures of Hunter on them. And then... Where do we want to direct people? To the website?

Yeah, it's hunterburtonmemorialopen.com. That's awesome. If you Google search Hunter Burton, it'll probably come up. It's spelled the way you would expect. And then I couldn't come up with other gifts that weren't just merch. So my trick that I will teach all of the dumb zone folks out there is if you don't know what to buy your guy friends,

go to Lush and buy their girlfriends and wives things. Okay. So these are very nicely smelling products. What a guy. Yeah. For the other cool people in your life. Hopefully they will enjoy them. It never it never fails. She won't accept it. She won't be happy. She'll be upset. I'm going to hand her that. I'm going to say, oh, it's because this guy brought us some stuff and said blah blah blah, this is a good gift. She'll be like, oh, okay. But it won't have come from me. She will just say, this is like the pearl flowers thing. Your side piece will appreciate it. That's right. I'll give it to a side piece. Or you don't have to tell her it's from me. Yeah, you tell her it's from you Buying gifts

Yeah, every day is Valentine's Day with me well, thanks for coming man. Yeah, it was good. It was fun That's a sweet. Yeah, yeah, you like the den. Yeah, it's nice. It's got all the things that I expected the dog It took him out. Yeah The dog is quite the part of the program here. Yeah Adios mofo before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my videos. What's your name? G-Reg. What you do?

Get hit. How you do it? Drop my drawers and let us see my third leg. Chillin' on the seventh floor. I gotta let these chickens know. Big Greg is in the house and I finna make these h***s choke. I'm a b***h, I'm a b***h, then I bust a n*** quick. I'm a f***, I'm a f***, stick my d*** between a b***h.

Come on fellas, let's get weird. Stick your d*** up in the ear ear while I'm laughing at these guys It's second