The Dumb Zone FREE - Cowboys-Giants Stream Team!

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Listen back to our live coverage of the Cowboys 28-20 loss to the Giants in week 1. With Mike Sirois, Jordan “Jorts” Richardson, TC, and the rest of the stream team!Subscribe to the show ...at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZone ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following program is a Dragon Den Sports presentation. Cowboys, Giants, Week 1, the Giants are going down to their government-run grocery store and picking up a free ass whipping tonight. Will Cowboys fans be dancing like those five foreign nationals in New Jersey on that fateful morning nearly 25 years ago? Find out tonight. It's the Dumb Zone's Dallas Cowboys Stream Team.
Starting point is 00:00:29 This is definitely the type of game. where Bain would appear. Tonight, the keeper of all things Divorce Pop, the son of Stan, Jordan, Jorz Richardson, and the Sultan of Severance, Spiky Mike Seroy, featuring Jameson Gray, Caitlin Noblock, T.C. Fleming, Jake Kemp,
Starting point is 00:00:45 and Dan McDowell. Yo, what's up, it, Shottie? Are we streaming? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Here we are. Streaming. We are in the den.
Starting point is 00:01:07 We are in the den, high atop my garage, watching. Sunday night football Wait on there for Sunday night T.C. said they have her dress in the Hall of Fame. It's amazing. The carry underwood. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Romp her. Right next to Ronnie Lott's finger. Yeah. What's with Ronnie Lott's finger? She gave us something well, actually, about Ronnie Lott's finger, but it sounded like he still did lose that finger. Well, it's all fucked up. You can see that.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Yeah. Remember not cursing in the first, like, five minutes of YouTube. It feels like the 70s now. Is that still a thing? I feel like we were all... Nah, bro. I've heard that.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Was that ever really a thing? Yeah. It really was? Yeah, back to your monetization. How do you want? Monetization. Say whatever. What hell we want?
Starting point is 00:02:01 What is that? So someday it'll be like, remember when you couldn't have nudity? We'll be all dong out. No doubt. That'll be great. I'm trying to take. Just playing the OJ video.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Well, anyway, opening night, very exciting. It all is in front of us, Jake. How are you feeling? Pretty excited. I got that for you. I think it would be pretty embarrassing if they stumbled out of the blocks and didn't beat the Giants. You could still have a great season and lose your first game, but it would certainly be a pain of my dick.
Starting point is 00:02:39 That's kind of how I look at these things. Yeah. I'm here for how this is going to make me feel. and we're back to the point where every Monday or whatever the day after they play, the first thing I think about in the morning is what happened the night before. Is it a good piss or a bad piss?
Starting point is 00:02:54 Yeah. We're about to find out how the piss will be. I met one of Ben Moose friends and he was trying to determine whether or not I was down and he's like, you watch ball? I was like, yeah, he's like, when they lose, how mad are you? Like how long?
Starting point is 00:03:14 I was like, I don't know, until the next game. Yeah. All right. That's the only answer. It's the only answer. Hey, look at this scroll on YouTube. That's what I'm staring. We are fantastic.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Cooking. This is our YouTube. Look at us. Channel, we have a scroll. Yeah, so I built something that has everyone's D's picks in it. That's not a good idea. Should have gone red and green. Should not have this week.
Starting point is 00:03:39 T.C.'s already exhibiting signs of poor teammate. Really? How did you do, Mikey? Not very good. Lost the trip yesterday with Army. The day after 9-11. Oh, my gosh. And that was a bad beat.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Such a sound reason. It was a bad beat. Up 10 with five minutes? Yep. You're saying that Army got snuck up on? It sure did. And then, uh, I don't know. What was it?
Starting point is 00:04:04 9-11? I think everyone did poor, though. My passion is cheering against all the calls. A lot of people, certainly. Did you hit your triple play? Oh, me? Yeah. You think you're the only one, right?
Starting point is 00:04:16 I think it was O for otherwise. Really? KT's got a triple on the cap. What was your triple? Triple Jake. The Chargers. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:25 That was my knockout in five of my seven knockout leagues. Oh, this is mine in my one of one. Oh, you're, yeah. It was the game. It was the one. We knew that you can't lose that one. It's Arizona. Is that where the towers used to be?
Starting point is 00:04:43 Yeah, right there. Give or take. That was one of the... Built on top of that med spa. That you just saw on screen. Yeah. I could tell you all the other picks I was going to make, but it doesn't matter. I know.
Starting point is 00:05:00 That's all I do right now is, man. I was right against the Minnesota pick. I don't know. Why are you guys laughing at this quartet? That was weird. Why do they have police and fire singing group? I've never understood it. I mean, it's obviously it's military drive.
Starting point is 00:05:17 And do we have to let them on the plane first? Old anachronistic thing. That's a great question. Do you imagine being at the police academy and being like, I also want to play the bagpipes in the parade? I didn't want to tell you guys this to the first day, but I'm an amazing tenor. I've told you guys this.
Starting point is 00:05:32 The cheat code in basic training is join the choir in the church. Because every Sunday you go there, and that's the only place they don't yell at you. There's sports pages, maybe even a TV. You can catch some of a game. And you're there for like three straight services. But then do you have to, like, hit the road in the Southwest? No, you just stand in the back row and move your mouth.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Did someone tell you to do that? You perform at the church. You perform at the church for other... You never have to be in something like this where they're like, hey, there's a high school football game and you got to go... If you're among the best, maybe... What I'm trying to do is how many other people will see you singing? Like, if it's just your homies on bass... There was like 20...
Starting point is 00:06:11 Billions. You just sit there and they scrubbed toilets all day. Then they come to church. Scrubing toilets, Dan, blow me up. I'll take that all day. I'll sing while I'm scrubbing toilets. I was recruited. by the Air Force to join the Airmen of Note,
Starting point is 00:06:23 which is a United States Air Force big band. Nice. Okay. That's real. That's the big league. I declined. I was afraid of the two and a half weeks of basic training. Yeah, if the best thing you could do is be in the choir at church, I think that two weeks of basic training sound bad. Well, base training is not fun. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:41 So one day a week during football season to actually keep an eye on shit. It's like, I think you're, it sounds like a good tip, but I'm looking at the overall situation. and if the highlight is choir at church, I'm out. And the other situation, you've got to be cleaning. Right, exactly. The other situation you're cleaning all day. I like of note.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Of note. Yeah, that's good. Do something there. Hey, before kickoff, let's... That's the same thing that's already caught the ball one-handed. Let's hear it for Kanye Rosa. Oh, my good. Woo!
Starting point is 00:07:11 You can smell it, but we lock away. Pizza bill catering to any food you want. Most likely they can do. Even burgers. Steven burgers. Pilf catering. Look that up and put it on your phone and then get them for your next party or whatever. We've had them out at...
Starting point is 00:07:28 Event season. Yeah, we've had them out to some of our, you know, listeners having us out on a Friday or something. They'll get pilf out there too. And we have them out here for every one of our games. Maybe you're having a sexual harassment training seminar. We should do that. Food. How to sexually harass.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Because we all forgot. There's smash burgers. I don't think we forgot. Amazing. Are they doing burgers today? No. As well? Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Are you upset? But they have amazing smash burgers, you know, speaking of sexual harassment. Well, fellas, that's something we don't say, smash. Smash the meat. Right. We say they have listen burgers. Listen burgers. Anyway, they're great.
Starting point is 00:08:10 They can bring out the wood burning oven. They can bring out the little ovens. They can bring out the grill. They're awesome. They said, do you want pepperoni sausage? I said give me respect for women. That's right. Double.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Yes. They got a nice honey bastard for you down there, Jake. So good. If you're thinking about a bonus for your employees, and you're like, how could I get out without that? Pizza party, but an upscale. Man, I love having this hat so I don't have the light in my eyes, but it's just too hot on the top of my head.
Starting point is 00:08:44 I don't know what to do about it. What should I? Oh, you could just wear a vise. What if he just wore a visor? He had me. Yeah. To the game like Shottie. Oh, there he is.
Starting point is 00:08:55 B.A. Brandon Aubrey. Calling the point. Look how captain he is. Yeah. Standing out there being all captainy. He loves our firefighters? Yeah, you got to ask him what it was like to meet Mario. Of the brothers.
Starting point is 00:09:09 He was standing next to. I'm not, I wouldn't not expect him to make any sort of stance or color outside the lines. but I think it's weird to wear a fire department hat. Not all of them. Harbaugh. This is funny.
Starting point is 00:09:24 This is funny. Imagine being the coach that didn't, though. You can't. You can't. Or the player that just said, no, your hat guy, you're going to be wearing it. Brandon Aubrey is the only person who's ever been in the NFL. Whenever I see him, I think about what it would be like if I was. And could you imagine if you were part of the coin toss for an NFL game as a captain?
Starting point is 00:09:43 Like, because he was leading our lives. Like, you know. Yeah, like four years ago. Yeah. And now he's like out there like just shaking hands of the Giants captains. Hey, boys, what's up? I'm not going to, uh, doesn't have a sister, your point. But I think I'm going to defend him and just say he was playing like, I want to say big time sports, but I've seen the clips.
Starting point is 00:10:07 There's not a lot of people at the games. Yeah. At Toronto FC. But after that. At some point he's playing in like major youth tournaments where there's a shit ton of people there. Like he didn't. I understand what you're saying. There was a time in his life where if he had offered me a trade, I would have said absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:10:24 Like if it's what I do now or programming a GM, I'm good, man. Yeah. But I'm just saying he was cut out. Like, he's not pissing himself like we would be. I don't think he's pissed himself, but he's got to be looking around like, this is pretty cool. That's what. Heads. No tails.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Shit. I only do ones and zero. Here we go with Gotti. You, motherfucker. It is. What? Damn. There's none better.
Starting point is 00:10:51 I forget about these things until I'm reminded. I didn't make it up. Do you feel like the media made this up? Like they happened to find out. Oh, you found out. How'd you catch us? Might have been that personalized license plate. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:11:10 Here we go. And the season is underway. Oh, helmet off. Somebody going to spit? My first play last time. Was that first play of the season? Does that happen every year the first play? One for two.
Starting point is 00:11:25 I do feel like Baker loses a triple play for me every year. I do remember a couple years ago he was starting for Carolina against Cleveland and lost a triple play for me. I bet he's lost several. I don't know why you're selling me. I feel like I've had it. It's because every time I start believing in him, that's the thing. You can't believe in him?
Starting point is 00:11:45 You're just now finding out about the Baker cycle? Yeah. Oh, no. Blanket. Goddy. Dude. All right, I'll stop. Is it an upset that Shottie didn't come up with Gotti?
Starting point is 00:12:03 Absolutely. Or have it tattooed. And you know if he did come up with it, you would know. He would tell you. He'd have a tattooed on his ankle. Yeah, we got a new saying. No coach would ever say some dumb shit like that. You guys are disrespecting.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Do you guys know his dad was a coach in the league a long time? I never heard that. He never refers to it. Let's go up top. Oh, change. Where's your Goddy now? This is four downs, boys. That's the first down.
Starting point is 00:12:36 No? Oh, yeah. No, I'm saying. That's what the Giants have to know. You got four downs. TC, I'm sorry. I know I keep putting off the football email. I don't have to write a column anymore.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Or not have to. I'm not kidding. I don't get to. So I have some time. You've got to see Sumer live. Okay. It's so fucking rad. It's like probably six plays behind, but once it gets going, I'll show you what it looks like.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Awesome. Charts everything. And I'm usually watching well on delay, so it's pretty great for me. Wouldn't FDNY Viser be disrespectful? Yeah. That's a good advice. Is that a little too? No, for sure.
Starting point is 00:13:22 You requested it. With the back, the fire helmet back. It's just a hat. It's a fire helmet without the top. Yeah. Yeah, like you can do cleats. Oh, it is for sure. Right, you can do anything.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Oh, shit. Visor? Oh, I thought they got it. Oh, no. We're going up top. They're getting to the play they want. Oh, it should be a sneak. Do not walk back to the sideline.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Hey, come on. Hussey. Oh, my God. Hunt team. Dack didn't have to wear that wristband, though. Dude, all right. That is one of the worst looks in offensive football. That's terrible.
Starting point is 00:14:07 One of the worst looks in offensive. How do you not get, you can't get an inch? I don't care if you go for it and don't get it. I don't care. I don't care at all. But use the clock. Snap it at one second. Snap it at six seconds.
Starting point is 00:14:22 They don't fucking know. That's a play where the point of attack surprise matters a lot. So the clock is on your side. They don't know. If you're Godi, you should be able to get that. At the 40? Dude. Come on.
Starting point is 00:14:35 And then you got this new defense? I'm just as your friend looking out for you. Just save it and use it. I'm using it on the first drive of the season when they don't go for it. Got gets a jet ski. On fourth an inch. It goes every day, all day for three days. Next weekend.
Starting point is 00:14:51 He's not, just pace yourself. No. There's just a lot. I don't think you know. There's a lot of stuff you can do there, and that was, because the uncharted thing is you're just giving the crowd a boost for fucking no reason. Yeah. Like, why just let them get fired up?
Starting point is 00:15:09 Those defenders were walking off the field, like taunting. Yeah, what's the point of that? This five yards is useless. You have an all-pro punter. You want to get Brian Anger involved as early as possible. Yeah. Stick to the bangers. Even if you want to punt it, just fucking pun it.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Just go up and punt it and just be like, we start. Right. But just what are we doing? Why do the try and call him off? Don't tell me you need another. Oh, there he is. How many times has DAC drawn somebody off sides? Like, ever?
Starting point is 00:15:35 I bet it's been ever, but I am sorry because I'm distracted by a new top five quarterback look in the NFL. Is he Mormon? That is a black under, yeah. Good grief. Extended. He already just has like, you know. Like what if dude perfect went right? Yeah, broke right.
Starting point is 00:15:57 He scares me. So Malik and, he is Mormon. You guys know this? Yeah, but it's like, it's just a good assumption. It's what I now know to be like a reality Mormon. Soft Mormon. Because I remember his mom was like really. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:16:11 At the draft. And I remember looking it up then and being like, okay, but there are Mormons who are like. He doesn't have an elder assigned to him. Doesn't feel like it. Coke zero Mormon. I know you don't want me to say it. but good thing we can stuff the run now. Just saying, I thought that's the one thing the defense can do.
Starting point is 00:16:31 And now they're just gashing. Six yards of play. That's what they average today. How's the recording going back there, Henry? Ready to start. Ready to start. That's our hand. He's the best.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Didn't get the first few minutes of the game. Anytime you want, bud, just get it going. I'm glad you asked then. Had he not? It's ready to start. If we could just get most of the second quarter, all I got to do is press a button. But in your ass with it on the right one?
Starting point is 00:17:19 Double check. It's the right one by listening. Go listen a little bit. Everybody's playing their part. Got to listen. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what did they just do? That's... What kind of play are they using?
Starting point is 00:17:33 They just snapped it, and then the quarterback just fell ahead for one yard. I think they're about to throw a flag. I don't think you're allowed to... You're not allowed to just do that, right? You have to, like, hand it off or throw it or something. But certainly it was a short one, right? No. Hey, Dan?
Starting point is 00:17:49 Yeah. Good call. It wasn't recorded. It wasn't a Spanish broadcast. Jesus Christ, Henry. See, I don't know how to respond to Henry. Like, I try to, I'm really nice to Henry. Like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:18:00 And then, like, Clayton just screams at him. Clayton's like, you're an idiot. Let me tell you. You're 20 minutes late. What did I tell you? What's a clock say? We can have a discussion about what kind of world we want to have, but I'm here to tell you. The new way doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Well, neither. I don't think to Henry or Clayton's way works either. Clayton's the Belichick here. The horses, they crave being broken. He's not responding to either of us. That's the thing. It's tough. It is tough.
Starting point is 00:18:31 There was a lot going on. He got excited. You know what else is tough? You know what's not tough? Direct TV stream. We didn't play that Friday. That made me up. There'll be plenty more opportunities for the G-Men.
Starting point is 00:18:46 No, I met the 9-11. Oh, 9-11, yeah, it's true. There'll be plenty more. 9-11s. Oh, dear. Holding. Definitely has to be. I feel like it's an off-size.
Starting point is 00:18:59 or an illegal motion. It was a pre-snap penalty there. Can't see it there. Dude, I was going to say this is... Sorry, go ahead. Just Scatabo's eyes. Yeah. Wait, did they not get the first down?
Starting point is 00:19:08 Beautiful. They're terrifying. Then they threw on first down. Now we're on to... Oh, I'm sorry. That was another fourth or... Yeah. So you've missed roughly a third of the plays in the game.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Yeah. Well, I was yelling at Henry. Some more. He had some important stuff to do. I wasn't yelling at Henry. I was trying to be nice to... Have you guys seen the State Farm commercial with Cam Scatabot.
Starting point is 00:19:30 It's Scatabot, right? I like boo. Yeah, I think it's boo. He says boo. They're letting, I mean, and I love it, but I think things that are back are concussions being funny. Because the whole point of the ad
Starting point is 00:19:42 is him just banging his head and shit flies across the room. I'm like, all right. He's not going to destroy his family later. This will be fun. That's the commercial, right? When you burn down to your family and hang him with a weight vest.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Stayed Menlo Big metal push Got him Go out of here That's what having A lead defensive tackles Will get you
Starting point is 00:20:14 Yeah Got the big paw I'll just stick it right up there After all They didn't pay Why is a guy named Overton on the field Right now?
Starting point is 00:20:23 Who is that? L.T. Overton They rotate their You know they've got Let's write a headline With him in it Ticker That's the one that gets Blake
Starting point is 00:20:33 I think it was Russell Scott once read it once read LT. Tunsel I meant the window I went to college with Roswell He was an Overton window in that one Oh you did? Yeah
Starting point is 00:20:45 I got you I'm sorry Dan What was that like? All sailed in stance Who's this old guy? Too political Who's this older guy in my class Yeah we know that when you're in college Yeah
Starting point is 00:20:56 Oh that's probably That's 15 year Yep Let's just add 15 Yep We had a guy who'd Spit. Spit.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Failed out. Maybe they need to communicate to each other how they're not supposed to. Oh, here we go. This is your fit down. Smoke. I love it. Mix it up. I'll take the 15.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Give me another 15. One more. The final boss. El Mnour. That was the final boss. I am El Mnour. That's Spanish for the shit. We all know what it's done for.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Walk. What a run. That was so far out of it. All right. Let him know you're here. He can't do that to Heavenly Father, though. He knocked all the eye black off of one of his eyes. I'm just going to keep it on.
Starting point is 00:21:50 Yeah, let's do that. Wrap it up. Give him a little. That's far too hot. It's my preferred position. Watch up. Boy scissors. That's worth the 15 yards.
Starting point is 00:22:03 What a game so far? What a year! DART is rattled. What a year? It's been incredible thus far. Back and forth. God, man. You forget, you know?
Starting point is 00:22:17 That's the thing. You don't ease in. You don't ease back in. No, no. You jump. It's a cold plunge. Cold plunge. It's like the thinking about the next few months is all happening to me at once right now.
Starting point is 00:22:29 That's okay. Nothing there, boys. Held them up. Why don't you cut that back? I was thinking. So I know the play stops and they're done making forward progress. Could you get one guy grabs him by the shoulders, one guy grabs him by the legs? You move him forward slightly, slowly, and try to rip that ball out.
Starting point is 00:22:48 You're holding him aloft. Right. You're preventing him from. Inching forward. And you're just ripping at the ball the whole time. Unlimited rips. Does it work? You're peding his progress.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Yeah, yeah. You're making sure it's beating. We're peat in the whole time. No, no, we're peeding. And you just rip it at that ball. Shit, all right. Like the hostage play? Yeah, I like it.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I like it a lot. I didn't think that was in time. They give him a beat. You know? Yeah. But I wouldn't. Not the Giants. He's got something to say.
Starting point is 00:23:31 He's nuts. Yeah, he really is. If he was downstairs, how long do you think we could all hold him off from getting up here? Through the door? Like where does it start? All of us in here? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:49 All of us. Yeah. Well, that's unfair. We would be able to hold it, wouldn't we? All of us? Yes. No weapons, just bare hands? We're going to wedge me and George.
Starting point is 00:23:57 What about? Clayton gets wedged in there up front too. I'll go low. Let's use our smarts. Yeah, exactly. Well, I was going to say, dude. Discourage him wanting to come up. You turn the lights on and off real fast.
Starting point is 00:24:07 He passes out. What about the, might be. Trick him. He's in here. You take out all the furniture, close the door. You just got to get him on the ground. How long? In here?
Starting point is 00:24:20 Yeah. How many of us? Just you. You and him in the room. He would kill you. He's got to get him on the ground. He's not trying to hurt you. 72 hours, honestly.
Starting point is 00:24:31 He's just trying to avoid being taken to the ground. Yeah. Wait for him. Mike just has to. I'm going to sleep instantly. Like a baby. Eventually he'll fall asleep. And then I'm going to.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Time it out. Yeah, then hopefully I time it out right. You could take them? You got it? 100%. You get them to the ground? What you mean? Well, how long can a human just stand without getting down on the ground?
Starting point is 00:24:53 Scataboo kind of looks like a member. I don't know. Don't like you mean. A member of POD. Yeah, he does. Like the DJ for POD. Until he eventually wants to sit. Like mixed with the Boston Marathon Bombers.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Doesn't the one side eye black prove that it doesn't work? Yeah. It's cosmetic. It's God stuff. It never felt like it worked. I wonder if it works. I think it works. I don't think there's any way it works.
Starting point is 00:25:17 I've tried it. It did not work. It makes sense, though. But more in daytime with the sun or more with the lights? I think it's the sun, right? It's almost exclusively. The black bag. The sun is down in New York.
Starting point is 00:25:32 I do know that. But I think we're saying it's cosmetic entirely. I'm sure New York is West Coast, Jordan. The sun is still up. They all probably just do it because it's bad at it looks cool as shit What if he just did his entire face? John Randall No glare
Starting point is 00:25:53 Could you do the entire face? There were players who were getting dangerously close down Yes Oh yeah So it's not Touchdown Oh shit You let you know he's healthy
Starting point is 00:26:03 Yeah You're not getting him down That's so bad ass There's no way you're getting them down I didn't say I was No Caitlin Caitlin said that she could get him down She could get them down to the bottom.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Bitch, you don't know me. I was thinking about it until the backflip. Now, now no way. There's a lot of different. Every day is a new day. We're in the South Town. There's a lot of different ways you can see like globalization. But the fact that we have whites like this now is one that there's a lot, there's just too much mixed into one.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Now we've got POD guy who runs like is an NFL running back. This is something we could not have predicted 25 years ago. Boy, that PEOD album, huge at the time of 9-11. We're going to drop the D all the way. We'll go tune that bad boy down. I think that was in my Walkman as the plane hit the towers. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:59 That was very popular in a high school weightlifist. Oh, my God. He spewered himself on the pylon. You guys like Pior. Are we sponsored by Qualis roofing today? Yes, sir. We are. They have drones?
Starting point is 00:27:13 They do. We have a Qualis drone. T.C.'s been out and seen them work. I have. You've seen their, like, the people fixing a roof or something? Their drone and my drone talk to each other. They were hanging out. Really?
Starting point is 00:27:26 Just comparing notes. Yeah, absolutely. You brought your drone out to film their drone? Yes. Just to show. Do we have two, three years before they kill us? Anyway, QualusGC.com. They roofed my house.
Starting point is 00:27:41 They roofied my house. Oh. You're off the hook shorts. 817, 500,000,0008. But if it's voluntary, right? You can be roofied? You can ask to be roofied, can you? Absolutely, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Some people take GHB for fun. That's part of the Qualus ad now. Jim Scataboo has. Yeah. So, yeah, they deal with the insurance company for you. If you think you might have some damage up, Hell, they say you're supposed to get a roof inspection every year. So go ahead.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Call call us. They'll hook it up and call us and take care of it. All you're doing is making a phone call. They're cleaning up afterward. Not a bunch of mess. They spent all the time on the insurance calls. I did not do a thing. I didn't do a...
Starting point is 00:28:30 After calling Qualis, you just christened the roof. I did nothing. I just christened the roof. We went up and had relations on both sides of the roof. So, you know, I had to have a couple days between each one. Right. Because of the GHB? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Gatorade. I passed out up there. Blistered. So they'll take care of all that. Yeah, so just call them and ask them all about it. And they'll give you a sit-in if you get a roof. No doubt. You could be here.
Starting point is 00:29:00 You could join us during a game. Wouldn't that be exciting? It would be. You could also, I think, get a grill if that's more of your speed. like the gold teeth thing for your car that's the first thing
Starting point is 00:29:13 I thought too a grill for your car or your teeth or your meat at Kualis Roofing Ernie of course he's in their Hall of Fame I also found that surprise
Starting point is 00:29:29 You're the ones with the Trump Mark Devarro Ernie Who did this Who did this? Tell me That Ringo Starr's drummer made that.
Starting point is 00:29:49 That's right. You probably can't stand that, but it just hits so hard. No, it sounds cool. It does, dude. Every time I'm like, this guy's my friend, I'm like, you wouldn't believe it. He's Ringo Starr's drummer. As the years roll by, that memory fades more distant and distant each year, it's a great reminder. Does he remember you?
Starting point is 00:30:08 He'd remember you? He'd remember me. Okay. He'd remember me. And after jog his memory, though, he's an octogenarian. cell phone he's sharp as hell uh his dudes i have his dudes i don't think wringo would answer a cell phone i don't think he'd touch a cell phone too dirty too many germs do you ever tell you any any story about john lennon he did he told us a story about reading a newspaper waiting for
Starting point is 00:30:33 waiting for john to arrive in the studio like each day so he would just catch up on the news and then when that get-back documentary came out sure enough ring goes oh yeah the reading the newspaper. Yeah. That thing is great. Yeah. It is great. And then they jacked off together, like, after the newspaper.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they do the jerk off thing most days. Yeah. I mean, of course. Two, three. And then just... So Ringo knows who he is. He's like, I got to be there first.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I'll bring something to read. Yeah. Like, you know, if you're John Lennon, you roll in whenever. That documentary, my favorite part was whenever the director's pitching ideas for the TV show and he wants to do it in Morocco. And he's like, picture it, a thousand Arabian faces. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Yeah. There were no... Woke didn't happen back then. There were no guys just like POD running four threes in that guy's world. Absolutely. All right. Shottie's locked in now. When he said that,
Starting point is 00:31:43 every person will be swung like Vivek Ramoswamy. Oh, no. Nice. We'd like to see C.D. have a big game for my fantasy team. Let's have one good thing happened to me this weekend. That was an early bingo. Why is that a bingo? Nothing else good this weekend.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Nothing good. Baker, triple plays, knockouts. It's all bad. The Bears scored 59. Give up Loxone. Oklahoma State upset number. That was awesome is what that was. Third and five. This is where it starts.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Snap. Looking, looking, he's going to go deep. Yeah. There you go. The whole offense. This guy bail us out. Build the whole boat out of a pig. Yeah, why don't they just throw it to him every time?
Starting point is 00:32:37 You know, I know nothing, but walking away from camp, I felt like Pickens was, like, if I'm just watching camp, I would think that CD might make the team and it's going to be an all. That's also a hold, but. You know what's great? neither them have egos that is what's great Pickens is just in person like as a physical presence a different deal
Starting point is 00:33:03 he is is that Brevin yeah it's up Brevin's out of Brevin's B.S.F. Brev. Had to pay him. What's up Brevin? BSF sounds like a
Starting point is 00:33:15 rail line. He should work with that. It's close, yeah. If it was just the Burlington Santa Fe you'd have it. This is what shot He gets at his bag, Dan. I think you know that. Second and two.
Starting point is 00:33:37 This is where you take a shot, right? It's about to be a run for one. In the Dan playbook for sure. Open her up. Play action formation. Let's go. What do they got? It's a dive down the middle.
Starting point is 00:33:49 For no game. Called that one. So Jason Garrett. It's very, yeah, they have Shottie's game film. They know what happens here. Thibodeox. He was supposed to be a big deal, huh? Bigger.
Starting point is 00:34:07 surrounding? Whole defense full of guys who were supposed to be a big deal. I mean, the Cowboys almost picked him, right? It's who, I believe, John Stephen wanted him to draft. For real. So you have a big voice in the room?
Starting point is 00:34:21 Well, he had played against him at Arkansas when he was at LSU, remember? Played against his little bit, but yeah, okay. He was in the stadium. We're moving the chains. Not quite as fast as they were, but moving them nonetheless.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Oh, man. I want it to be going better than it is. I hope you can join me in this. Here's the demarcato debut as a Dallas cowboy. It's big for you. Big. What's Stan saying right now? Your dad's Stan is.
Starting point is 00:35:01 There it is. Get it. Feed him. Very nice. What? What? Hit him in the hand. Stan already told me it's a reason to turn on the cowboys.
Starting point is 00:35:09 There you go. Big showing over Grand That might be the top text in the dad word cloud dissent today. Some version of, oh, I guess I'll turn on. How did this happen? You were great. What are we doing? Ever knows?
Starting point is 00:35:26 Yeah, you were great. Oh, thanks. You were great for being in the game. We're spreading the ball. Made my nine. We scored that and we can't get him a point. That's how it goes. It's why you shouldn't play fantasy.
Starting point is 00:35:37 The ETC and you in the green room, chopping it up. Dude, that was fucking badass. Yeah, that was a good time. And then Sam Anderson's there, of course, because. Is he just everywhere I go? He's everywhere. He permeates just doing K2 all night. We got a little weird, but, you know, that's what we love for.
Starting point is 00:36:02 So we should do that. We've got some lone star beer here, and we also have. I was working on it. Howdy, THC. Ooh, toss me one of those things. Let's get involved. I was going to ask when should I, I think, halftime. Oh, well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Totally. Outside. I was going to ask when for me. No. You could... Oh. Well, the good news is that would have been negated by holding anyways. He's like I saw the...
Starting point is 00:36:33 Don't want to catch it. Oh, lemonade. Delicious. Oh, I've had those. Those are delicious. Wow. The... Outy THHC.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Yeah, I didn't put it together, but I recognize the can. That's a premium beverage. Yeah. Very good. That's an exciting sponsor. You guys just got a bunch of them? those now? They send us a shipment, I think it's possible we're going to be at their
Starting point is 00:37:00 of those. Their home brewery in Houston when we do our Houston. Oh, boy. Yeah. Definitely do a song for howdy. You will be there. Awesome. Or you'll be square.
Starting point is 00:37:15 I hope I'm not square. Are you guys rolling over there? Bouty, bowdy, howdy, howdy, something like that. T.C., you want to get on this one? Yeah, yeah. Need a feature. Fuck. Feature on the howdy.
Starting point is 00:37:29 The howdy jingle, please. You want to make a howdy jingle? Please. Feet TC. Is it, is the howdy guy and Aggie? Never mind, I'm out. Right out. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:44 I'm not at make jokes about their company yet. Yeah, yeah. So I can't really tell you a whole lot. Anyway, let's say hello to, or let's acknowledge the greatness. of Game Day men's health. Oh, no doubt. At gameday. Dot Dumbzone.com.
Starting point is 00:38:08 We have a game day sit-in. Oh, yeah? Every week we have at least one winner from Game Day. Is it Don? Are you the Game Day guy? Grab that mic real quick. Can you? Now we'll see if...
Starting point is 00:38:29 Hello. All right. You getting ripped on? Is that you being pissed on? I'm getting... I'm getting a clearer mind and a better sleep. Nice. A little bit better metabolism.
Starting point is 00:38:43 What is your game day location of choice? How's your wiener? Los Kalinas. Shout out to Las Kalinas Game Day. It was there Friday. Got a nice little IV. Oh, yeah? Oh, vitamin shot.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Get you ready for the weekend? Oh, yeah. Good times. Who's your people over there? Do you know anyone yet? They've been going there long enough to know. I've only been going in about five weeks to remember names by that short of time. Honestly, I'm going to be totally honest with you.
Starting point is 00:39:15 I mean, you're not going to feel weird when you go there. But, you know, even with as nice as they are, you're not trying to like... Yeah. You know? We're not here to talk. We're not here to... That's kind of their cell. We're here for...
Starting point is 00:39:28 Also, you're not going to be there very long. I'm in and out of there. But I have heard they're more... Because I talk to a dude who switched from another place to game. Yeah, and they just said at the other place, he was like an assembly line. Maybe that's just how I like it. It's a little more perfect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:46 I saw Don at the last comedy night. Oh, nice. Yeah, that was a good time. He said you destroyed. Thank you for indulging in my make-a-wish. It was always fun getting sitting the front row in a seat for two by yourself. Oh. That was nice.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Now, Don, was there plans to have another with you that night that fell through? No. dropped the wife off at the airport on the way to the show. Oh, wow. First down. Yeah, that sounds great. Wife dropped off, chalk full of game day. Teat up.
Starting point is 00:40:18 On the loose. Let's go. All right, so gameday.dumzone.com. Tell them Don sent you. I'm like Dong. Oh, where's the big, big defensive lineman? Are you tired of it yet? You were tired of it first drive.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Yeah. We're having fun. Ooh, there he is. Next head coach of the... Panthers. The next head coach of Richland High after that first drive. That timepiece, nice.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Serious. He's letting it rip, too. Look at that pose. Mike, what are you working with today? Mike, do you want to wear an earring like Christian... It's not a big deal. It's a red. Red sub.
Starting point is 00:41:10 I do you think Dan and Mike would pull it off the best of all the teams? There's no way. It's beautiful. Look that patina. I love the patina. I was watching that channel Bay game. This fucking blows. I was thinking about my earring.
Starting point is 00:41:26 All I do is think about my fucking ear on, Dan. Can you all? Go ahead, sir. I can't have a ring. Like, I can't go visit my daughter. Like, can you imagine me? Going to visit my daughter with a ear? Just cruising through Brooklyn with an earring?
Starting point is 00:41:40 Change up. Yeah, jump some pronouns. Shane, you'd be fitting in. Would y'all accept a Prince Albert as a... No deal. God damn, dude. Shit like Dan, hypothetically, if you and I lose... Yeah?
Starting point is 00:41:53 Should, among the two of us then, like the one who did better... Get him. We go. Choose left ear. Oh, he wanted them to have that. And the one who does worse among the two losers has to get their right ear, peers? Just for as a nod to the... Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:42:08 The older rules. Yeah. Right ear means gay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because at least that would give me a reason that I'm wearing the earring. Otherwise. I just want to let other dudes know that I'm gay.
Starting point is 00:42:23 A concrete reason. Right. But like MJ, Ving Rames, like the bald guy with the earring, it's not a bad look. Your spa talk is going to go up. I don't even know what that is. Oh, yeah. Whenever you're hanging out of the steam room. Spat talk.
Starting point is 00:42:41 For sure. Asana. You're going to have a packed sauna when you strutting there with that thing. Get them down. Get him down. There we go. Like lemmings follow you in there. He might have got that.
Starting point is 00:42:52 A guy who reviews canned fish having an earring makes sense. The butt nearest to the ball is Cowboys' Pants butt. But if he gets jacked like Mr. Clean, do you think there's an earring of a sardine? Oh, my gosh. I can get on Etsy right now. That's a dumb question. Chinese have you covers.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Is there an earring of everything? That's like porn. What a question. Speaking of porn, isn't there a porn star named Dee Winters? I don't know. Older. Older lady.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Speaking of Henry. That high line almost said to hit me a dick. Speaking of Henry, it is time to record. Do we want a little check the chat music? Hit it. Check the recording. Checking the chat will be brought to us by Fairlease. Fairlease.org.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Fairlease.org where Brandon Aubrey himself is now leasing a vehicle. The chance we see the commercial tonight? Henry, what is going on in the Dumb Zone chat on YouTube.com at the Dumbzone? Well, we're going to start off with a little Conne Roso love. Disaster film said I had their brisket lasagna on Friday night. Amazing. It changed my life. Alexa mentioned,
Starting point is 00:44:16 I think Henry and I should go to the Rangers game next weekend and block the Soroy Boys from catching a ball. Friday. That's a good bit. We can do that. You can try. Which, of course, I agree. I'll scat-a-boot.
Starting point is 00:44:27 Is there a singles gathering? Oh, I'll go with a lady again. I guess I'll go. Take another one for the thief. If I have to go with the lady that owns a pot store, I'll do it. It's funny. We met at a singles gathering. We just went platonically.
Starting point is 00:44:42 Yeah, that's how things started for us. It's a lot of fun. We're just having fun. We're seeing where it goes. Brad said Dan is on a mission to trigger Jake as much as possible tonight. Yeah. Justin said, what happens first? Soroy tackles scatibu or catches a home run ball.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Which we do need an answer to do. If there was nobody, no other fans went out there at all. Does Soroy Catch a ball? No, probably not. It won't be other fans that prevent it. It's just the luck of the draw, right? I bet if you had, based on what you guys tell me, baseball ball donors, if you had coordination with the team and you're like, do everything you can to hit me one,
Starting point is 00:45:30 I think you could maybe a coin flip chance you come out of there with one. You're talking for BP, though. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Just give me your big hit and righties. Yeah. I'm going to stand right here. Right.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Just try. All three of us are going to stand. stand right here. If a child stands next to you, are you guys going to constantly be moving? I will truck a kid in this case. I never would normally. And I'll give him the ball instantly.
Starting point is 00:45:52 I will catch it and hand whatever this nerdy little kid wants. That's your best case scenario, dude. There's a kid right there. Everybody's going crazy. Have you? I wasn't worried about doing this payoff at all, but when we were at Dodger Stadium
Starting point is 00:46:04 and the balls will fall from the upper deck down, I saw a guy fall like three rows on his bed. on his back, and that's when I realized this could be trouble. We're putting it on the line. Is there any more, Henry? Yeah, we've got a couple more. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:46:18 That's too far. We'll have a break for. Too far. Penalty, keep it going. Yeah, this is what I'd like to call the T.C. portion of the chat. Another what if. Disaster film also said,
Starting point is 00:46:32 who would win in a fight, Caitlin, or T.C. That would be fun to watch. Yeah, she's got so much more. scrap and grit than me, but I feel good. Sizes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I'd like it, you know? Shut up, you'd love it.
Starting point is 00:46:50 I still, I hear you, I'll just say it. I'm losing. I still take, uh, Caitlin. And then I think we just wrap it up there. That's nice. That's a good one. Way to go. Thank you, uh, whatever your name is.
Starting point is 00:47:08 brought to you by Fairly Fairly. Look at that. No problem tackling scathing. Has Caitlin ever warded off a home invader, though? It's a great point. Guys got skins. If there's an Xbox on the line.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Do you have a career record? Yeah, have you? She's definitely. Oh, Henry, what are we doing? Yeah, why do you bring that up? You couldn't stay that until the next one. Conversation about a man.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Two people. A man wrestling a woman while the woman is out of the room. Let's double check that. Make sure the right one is on and make sure it's recording. You could see the level. Henry, what are we doing? Just pop in your phone on. Let me see the recording.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Go top right. Go top right so I can see it. That's the flag. I don't see any level. I don't see any level. What did you see? It was delay a game. It was past.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Jesus Christ. I'm the over clocks. Watch out. There's no level, dude. Is it working now? He's the big question. He was rounding up chats. He can't do both things.
Starting point is 00:48:16 It's true. Can't really do either thing, honestly. Is Henry the new grible? That was good. 14 nothing doesn't feel good. It feels. They're on their side of the field. Caleb down.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Come on. I'm setting the stage for big play. Yeah, look at that. We've spent too much on the defensive line to allow them to run on. Got to go for it. What are you bitching for? The fuck out of you.
Starting point is 00:48:48 Hey, what are we doing? I'm a mutant and I'm mad. Oh, this feels good to be able to say. What are we doing? Letting the inmates run the asylum? It's fine. It's fine to say. I don't like his attitude.
Starting point is 00:49:00 What's he complaining about it? What is he complaining about it? I don't see anything wrong. I don't like this person. Yeah. Did you guys see this? The fuck out of here. Holy shit, forth and an incredibly short.
Starting point is 00:49:12 two. That is a one. Yeah. It's clearly a one. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Oh, no. Just as late as we are. That it worked. Okay. Make up call. He did flinch, but not far enough. Harbaugh just wants to be shot. All right.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Cancel out two coaches who are. He pulled a Jody. No, they did call it. Oh, on that. Jody Hildebrand. Kind of complete, two complete walk-around coaches who are not, Well, I guess what I'm called.
Starting point is 00:49:43 His daddy wouldn't have done that. Two dad coaches, both of which definitely want to punt you the fucking ball back after a delay of game. Get a little space. Flip the field. Here comes Roll Claw zone. Cavante Turpin. Caitlin, do you think I could beat you up? Possibly.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Yeah, we had a chat question, which was who would win between Caitlin and T.C. Oh, blood. I don't know if you've seen these guns, but, you know. I looked like B last night. Scataboo, I got scataboo all day. We like your heart. I'm going to ask, and then I know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:25 No need to ask. We like T.C.'s physical. That's what I thought. I think you're more tenacious. What is career record? Do you got some scalps? I mean, you got some pounds on me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:40 But I'm... What's the history? That's unnecessary, Kay. Look, I'm scrappy as fuck, buddy. When's the last time you... You think you live this whole life not needing men? and then heart scrapping. When's the last time you pulled a woman's hair?
Starting point is 00:50:51 Oh. This afternoon. This afternoon. In middle school. I'm not even being funny. In middle school, there was a girl fight where one got a hold of the hair and then was just whapping in the face. Oh, you mean like in a fight way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:08 They love the hair pull. They love the hair pool. Every girl fight is a hair pulling contest. It's disappointing. because we'll actually find out too much. Did you see the Ole Miss one from this weekend? It was brief but fun. I don't think I did.
Starting point is 00:51:27 A lot of cheap shots. Yeah. It was Reb-on-Rab crime. They're both Ole Miss fans. Really? Did you see the cookies that are back there? No. Brandon, grab that mic.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Is Brandon over? Pass the mic to Brandon. Brandon's our cookie guy. Oh, wow. Thank you. All right. You didn't see him? Oh, actually, can you go grab, like, get the big box and show Jake, one of those big boxes.
Starting point is 00:51:57 They're amazing. Brandon, what's your cookie place? It's my wife's called butter bean baking. I at least want Jake to at least see these. Jake, you ready to bring the other box over to you? Are you ready to look at some? Oh, man. They're amazing.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Incredible. Describe these cookies. Uh, they are, they look like something to see on a reality show. They're very professionally done. The first one, of course, commemorating Blake's love for discounts. This one has a referee. It's his first down. This one has the new logo, very, very, the new Dumb Zone logo. That logo is sweet, by the way, boys. That's the first physical item with the new Dumbzone logo. That's true. This, uh, cookie unbelievably commemorates the nickname that Brad sham has for Brandon Aubrey. It's a stick of butter. This is butter, Brandon Aubrey. What's your cookie place? It's butter bean baking. Butterbean baking? Here it go.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Yeah, the former boxer butter bean opened up a little. That's what I'm saying. We actually have a sign. A bakery. Boxing shorts. Did you really? Yeah. Amazing. Got beehive cookies. That guy could. And maybe we just leave them. That butter bean I'm saying, I'm ready to eat now, but I don't want to. I want to make sure we get photos. Butterbean beat the shit out of tape. Have we done any photos? I took a couple of pictures. photos. We're green lights all the way. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Tax being a hero. They also made some sugar cookies. Wow. That's cool. That's extremely cool. Which I've already pounded like seven of them. Wow. I didn't want to eat the beautiful ones.
Starting point is 00:53:34 T.C. has no reservations about that. We've gotten everything out. Oh, Thursday. He's our Belkow. So this is like a downtown Decatur? Is there like a physical? Okay, cool. As a Broncos fan.
Starting point is 00:53:51 Okay. Okay. Wait, grab this. I'm sorry. I didn't know he didn't have a mic. That's my bad. Yeah, just grab that mic. Yeah, we had a brick and mortar until last year.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Okay. It was on the square indicator, but now he just does it out of our house. Nice. What was the rent? What's your address? More than we were making. Yeah, that's the thing, right? Was the lease real high?
Starting point is 00:54:15 Do you just mean in business? The thing is to make more than you. It was a great place on the square. And the square indicator's nice place. That's not how you wanted to have to be living. Oh, old deck is back. Not how you want to have to live. Oh, what a spot.
Starting point is 00:54:29 What a spot. On top of cookies, this gentleman is the finder of golden marble number two. Oh, is he really? That was a tough riddle. Right there. Congratulations. He's probably got a thousand bucks on him right now. If anybody wants it.
Starting point is 00:54:45 I put it all on Hunter Biden meme coin. Hell yeah. So now he's got 2,000, Shirley. He found it in like three hours, too. We suck. Where was the location? Fort Worth. That's what I thought, but where was it?
Starting point is 00:55:03 Could have been you. It was down at Trinity Park, down on the river. Third one, take a shot. Right next to the Mark Twain's. Sure. Brass. Yeah, near the goose pond. Yeah, but where Mark Twain's looking, there's a water spill thing.
Starting point is 00:55:16 What was it? Did you add a stipulation where they get to come to a game stream? No, this is a separate occurrence here. I was happy he's here. He returned my Apple air tag. Nice. So if you actually want to know his address, I can tell you. That's not the only small...
Starting point is 00:55:34 I have it on record. Is this the only small bag with white stuff in it on you right now? With white thing in it? With white thing in it. Actually, yes, it is. Yes, it is. You need to just chop that. Just smash it up.
Starting point is 00:55:48 A phone works fine. I hear. Is 10 yards too much for holding? Sound off in the chat 60 minutes. Oh, Oh, underthousy. Underthrown.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Undertrown on purpose. Three flags. Caitlin, we just, you just walk down there and say you want a pizza and they make it? Is that how this works? They were like just for you. If you just walk around the rest and shake your head, they usually just call it. Then they pick up the flag. I'll go with you if you want and they'll probably do it for you.
Starting point is 00:56:21 They hand it to you? Yeah. Oh, you want me to go with you too? They'll do whatever I want. They'll do whatever I want. If I was Dan's neighbors, I would just walk by and get dinner. 100%. The whole neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Every time we do one of these, I would just get dinner. Yeah. Oh, he got crudged. It was crunched. Yeah, you're throwing that, I think, on purpose. No, because he had somebody in his face. Here we go, boys. Man, yesterday in the, I've almost said U&T,
Starting point is 00:57:02 in the Oklahoma State. Oregon game. Oregon kid picked up a first down. Oklahoma State dude walked by and just chopped it down. Oh, really? But that's my top play of the weekend. Nice.
Starting point is 00:57:16 No. Did they still give them the first down? Or was it not a, it wasn't official? I thought they might lodge it. Right, and like, yeah, go play over. Mm-hmm. Just rocking empty on second side. Basically a running play.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Chunks! Kind of worked out that he's... I don't know. I feel like that might be... Unsung. This is good. He's looking great. It's looking older.
Starting point is 00:57:46 Incredible. You don't know what play I'm choosing? No one alive. Man, there's a substack dedicated to nothing but tying film to play sheets. Like they just take the images they get. Really? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Like zoom it? Figure it out. Yeah. Whoa. That's awesome. I saw it the other day because the 49ers do that weirdo. Like, you check just like runs back and then it runs forward. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:17 They were trying to figure out what it was called. Somebody had seen it on their sheet. No shit. That's great. Fucking people have... Yeah. Actually, I saw an article in the Philly Voice or something, and it's an article about the Eagles football media industry.
Starting point is 00:58:35 There's like 30 daily shows. That's a lot of shows. Like, there's almost every day. like three to five times a week. When are they going to start doing a good one? I know. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:58:51 There's got to be that. You guys should partner up like a sister city thing. Probably. I mean, there's Law Nation. Sister City. Yeah. Oh. What the corkscrew spin.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Beautiful. Like a dolphin. Did you see Gentie got hit today and did a, he flew five yards forward while flipping. It was amazing. No. God damn. He was fine. He was fine.
Starting point is 00:59:12 trying to hurdle someone and just caught it full speed. What's the word on Kyler? Kyler got beheaded. I saw it. I don't know anything official, but he's missing games. He's missing games. Wow. It was awful.
Starting point is 00:59:29 He got destroyed. I saw. I was... I think Fort Worth's season. He was like, it's going to be... He's like... The fault of the rules. Amazing body control.
Starting point is 00:59:39 He was like, I need to twist my body to not break my back. I have to increase. I'll do it in mid-air. I'm not going to get scores. If I don't throw a corkscrew in. Right now. Now's the time, Javante. And he sure as hell did it.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Bam. Yeah. He's got panicked eyes already. Come on, Dad. Calm back. Dude, what the fuck? He did a panic face right there. Dude, there's so many things you can question.
Starting point is 01:00:08 What is Shottie highlighting? Also. You don't know. That shit works. He's probably like that shit worked. Yeah, that worked. That shit worked. Or you're done.
Starting point is 01:00:16 I'm not going to use that again. Yeah. That's right out. God, what a fucking gift. Touchdown. I'm going back to Pickens. Let's make him. You had him.
Starting point is 01:00:33 You had him. Oh, he loves it. Oh, that Redmond's one. Wow. Man, Pickens was so open. I thought that was Blackoff play. So. Yes, as I just said.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Pickens were so open. Yep. Yep. Yep. What a drive. Pass interference their way down the field. It's the longest drive in NFL history. This is amazing.
Starting point is 01:01:08 That, maybe that. Oh. Yeah, maybe. And can't hold the hand. All the way around, yeah. You can't just hold their hand against the body that way? I don't. But if that was it, maybe you're probably that but last, but the flag was out very early.
Starting point is 01:01:23 Yeah, it probably was top of the break. At that point, it looked a little tiki-touchy. Jackie. None of it would lead me to go, it's Lipki time, baby. No. They're not really getting a push. Not much of one.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Not consistent. Not like the Giants did in that first drive. I just bring in Brandon now. The way they'll get the ball back. You're right for time. Yeah. Right around. Try to get three field goals before the half.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Lipki fucked that up. You think Brandon could score from here at tailback, given three chances? Lipkin did, do you think he thinks he could? I bet you he could beat him to the edge. I bet he could right here. He went like field side and let him run the whole thing out. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:12 I bet he could. I bet he could. I'd say yard. It's not that hard. Hey. I think he fell in there, right? My thing with him, and I said this on the show, is he's a lot bigger than you think he is. Yes.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Yes, he is. Taller. Taller. To me, it's thicker. He's got some tree trunks, right? Yeah. Thunderman. I think, I've met.
Starting point is 01:02:32 What do you think it's 40? He's probably a... He's one of those people that he can do whatever the fuck he wants. You know what I mean? I mean, he was a professional soccer player. He's got to be fast. He can crack four-seven. Yeah, he can crack force-seven, though, problem.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Right? Forced... I don't know if he got in. I don't know that he's... I don't think he was in the first time. I was going to say a four-seven to four-eight right now. Look like the ball did not cross the first fell down. But also, if he wanted to, I think he'd probably get to a four-six pretty quickly.
Starting point is 01:03:05 And it would ruin his career. That, uh, instantly. Never make another. For real. That, uh, D-Magazine article, where it had the, he said he got every person on his soccer team and an assist. Or he, he assisted to every single one of them. And then I just went to my daughter's soccer game. I've seen so many six-year-olds play soccer and not a one of them could come within anywhere close to them.
Starting point is 01:03:33 Wait, are you comparing six-year-olds to Brandon Aubrey? It was from when he was six. The anecdote was when he was six. None of them were good enough. He got like four assists in a five assists in the game. The times I'm seeing five goals total between the two teams are rare. We are now at the age where you will not see that kid in our daughter's games. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Yeah, but I'm saying I've seen all the ones up to this point. And I didn't see. For you select? If you made the best kid I saw five times better, they would. wouldn't be that good. No, that's what I mean. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. He does appear to be very talented.
Starting point is 01:04:11 There's some humans that can just do whatever the fuck they want in life. We've got a... Oh, my gosh, my operation. Ooh, be quiet. Jason Kelsey's on screen. What's he saying? I bet his wife... I bet they're beating what she's saying because she's cursing.
Starting point is 01:04:31 And that's very funny because she's a woman. Yeah, I know. It's fucking funny, right? I'm hoping their late night Is that the lady that was on the show? His show? Yeah. What is she up in the?
Starting point is 01:04:44 Yeah. I'd say give her one. Oh, gross. Kelsey? Yeah. How many episodes did we make? I think four. You don't want steak nuggets?
Starting point is 01:04:54 Yeah, it seems like they're real gross. What do you think is better? The Kelsey Wife Tonight Show or Comic View with Byron Allen. There's too many. There's only one episode of Kelsey Wife. There's tomorrow's the Emmys. The entire catalog of Comic View is...
Starting point is 01:05:12 Hey, George. You guys want to run this back for the Emmys? Sam told me last year. Let's just stay. Everybody? Let's talk about a podcast idea. 24 hours? Lock the door.
Starting point is 01:05:22 Like Sky Rizzi, like, you know, you're going to break down prescription ads. Yeah, we want to break down prescription ads. Yes. Along with our buddy brick. It's like, don't take Sky Rizzi if you're allergic to Sky Rizzi. I think it's a great idea. I think you have to go through with it. We want to work for it.
Starting point is 01:05:39 It is not burst. Just a, oh, well. There's always someone with ulcerative colitis who's like DJing a wedding. Dude, you all. For some reason. Oh, no. Yes. That was such an urban push-off.
Starting point is 01:05:56 I'm surprised there's not a flag. That was like aggressively. I mean, I'm fine with it. Well, as long as you don't all the way extend your arm. It's pretty close to the first base umpire calling that a strong. strike. As long as you don't trip him. Watch this.
Starting point is 01:06:12 Like, he threw it anticipating. I bet he throws himself three yards from where this starts. That was a little more subtle that way. Bit of a push-off for sure. Yeah, yeah. It's just, well, CDs are going to turn out immediately. Yeah. Yeah, that was a beautiful throw.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Oh. Okay, angle. Weird angle. Yeah, it was a tough angle. He's got it. Lasers. We need lasers. And they would incinerate the football.
Starting point is 01:06:46 Yeah, you would know. Yeah. Just ash. Just ash slowly falls to the ground. Damn. Yesterday, after the Texas game, one of their staffers was carrying a broadsword that just had football spike through it. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Hell yeah. What's a broad sword? It's like a, you know, a regular sword. It's a two-handed weapon. It's a sort of women. Okay. The rules of D&D state that you cannot be. I laugh.
Starting point is 01:07:22 You know, back when they actually use swords. They call it Tex caliber. That's good. Yes. That's real good. Is it like the turnover sword? It's the turnover sword? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:35 Oh, and they put a ball on for every turnover? It had to be, yeah. So they keep adding? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wonderful. Yeah, back whenever they were using swords big time, they didn't really have the ability to keep them sharp very much. So there was very little slicing,
Starting point is 01:07:48 and it was more just kind of like whacking a guy with this blunt hunk of metal as long as you needed to. That feels better. It's going to be a crazy way that Matthew McConaughey dies. Also, yeah, yeah. Somehow tech's calibers involved. They let them have it for the weekend. He was also like 1900 before they got like regular-sized horses.
Starting point is 01:08:12 So these guys were riding ponies, like little tiny ponies with these broadswords, just kind of thunking each other. Just thonking each other. So you're telling me the past it's gay. It's pretty gay, yeah. I don't know how I don't know about this. Game of Thrones, not real. Oh, yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:08:29 Just ponies. Here's the famous pedophile Arthur C. Clark. For real? Oh, my God. Really? Huge pedophile. Constant pedophile. He moved to Sri Lanka so he could keep being a pedophile.
Starting point is 01:08:43 Well, it turns out, it turns out nobody actually gives a fuck. Is that a new commercial? Yeah, I don't know. It's a Starlink commercial. Yeah, yeah. He's doing like, Elon's doing bits. That's an LCD sound system song. Yeah, what song?
Starting point is 01:08:59 I can't hear it right now. The Starlink commercial. I didn't hear. The medal, he's like, done, done, dun. It's like the bounce. Oh, yeah. It is. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:12 Scale that goes up. But there's no way they sold that song. James Murphy. Yeah, there's no way that. James Murphy's. Yeah, he's definitely doing that. Yeah, Obey. There is no shame.
Starting point is 01:09:24 Oh, yeah, that's not. Yeah, O'BBee. Blake is there. It does. Blake in Berlin. Wave, Blake. A hundred percent. Yeah, wait a place.
Starting point is 01:09:33 Tell him. Yeah. We have a big bird. line date scheduled on the show. We're going to get to really meet Steve. You're going to love it. Me and my good friend, Steve. From the Hall of Fame.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Oh, you interacted with him? No, boo. At the big media party. Oh, yeah. Wow. What did you guys talk about? Notre Dame. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:09:57 His daughter's in school right now. She's going to be out of the country for this season, which was tough for her, but, you know, you only get so many chances to study. abroad. So they changed the kickoff rule and I think they got like almost three times as many returns. Oh, this is going to be good. Today? No, last year. Changing track. Oh, okay. And then. Here they had these idiots. This year. They all missed their train. So they had the
Starting point is 01:10:22 year before, they had eight concussions. A little very slow train. In 24 on special teams. And I think then they had 32. Look at this train. So they had four times as many concussions. They only had like twice as many kickoff. So the concussion rate is definitely high. higher when they do it this way. Really? Yeah, which is expected. They just didn't know how much, right? They're making them hit each other.
Starting point is 01:10:45 So they wanted more concussions? No, but the way that from when it used to be, there was lots of them. And then they moved it to where nothing happened on kickoffs and everything went away. How do you think the defense never did that one? Trick the entire stadium. He's a badass. Well, he pretended to pitch it. What the hell was that?
Starting point is 01:11:02 What are you expected to do? Is that legal? He was going that way. It's funny how much of sports is pretending. What's funny, like you said, like, concussions are funny now, because they were like, look, just get used to it. CP is a fucking thing. All right, so I guess we're just going to make some levity. We acknowledge that there's more concussions if they actually have to hit each other.
Starting point is 01:11:27 I would like to see how many there would be if there were no penalties on kickoffs because I think it's the most boring thing in sports. having a penalty on 30% of the kickoffs. It won't work. That's kind of the full dart experience right there. What was he doing? Talk about freaking out a little bit. Yeah, why does the PD? I mean, if you're in New York, perhaps, but...
Starting point is 01:12:03 If you're in the fire department, you're like, whoa. Still, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're getting stuff up. all the time. They arrested a homeless guy near the towers, so now they get to be, yeah, I don't think so. Yeah, how many Al-Qaeda members? Did you wrangle in the lower?
Starting point is 01:12:18 Oh, pick it. It's got to be a mess. Oh, shit. Close. They probably supplied the guns to those Israeli nationals, the police department. They said, take a couple of these. Nobody said what country. I read an article that said what country.
Starting point is 01:12:36 Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah. Dude, it was so funny. I'm familiar. You know what's so funny is like that's listed. It doesn't even really auto-complete, but it's listed when you look up like 9-11 conspiracies. And then you just read about it and you're like, no, this is just 100% true. Like all these guys fled the country.
Starting point is 01:12:51 Like all of them had passports. All of them had a conspiracy here. Like their best answer was we see war all the time. So we were just documenting it. Like when we saw it, we were laughing because we see it all the time. Yeah, totally, totally. And then like all of them just fled. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:07 The fucking pressure up the middle. Oh, it's a good pass. It was a great pass. Poor coverage, but I like pressure. Isaiah likely's first grab of the year. Unlikely. That's the first person I've ever heard with that last name. Likely?
Starting point is 01:13:24 I think so. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He's getting fucking ragdolled. How much Vaughn have we had? That's a good question. A lot of holding there. If you're a tackle, can you just...
Starting point is 01:13:39 Get him into a third and lung. It's a fun, right? Yeah. There's the problem. Oh, three were seven. Is that him there? I just called it as first. At the top?
Starting point is 01:13:49 Yeah. He didn't do too much on that point. They were afraid to go near him. Let's see, this PFF new bid is live during the game. What do you know? So. From Cambridge, Mass. Crazy place to be from.
Starting point is 01:14:10 I mean, kind of, you know. It's a big, there's a lot of people living there. College students Harvard Nothing for Vaughn on the stats yet Oh you made a response On those stats for sure I'm trying to like a live snap
Starting point is 01:14:24 Is the right one on? Just get fucking marched on Boy What's the thing last year They were really bad Explosive plays Is it 20 yards 20 plus?
Starting point is 01:14:40 I think it's 10 10 for a run 20 for a pass I mean They were bad at everything though. I'm just saying Malachi Fields first reception today. It's going to be a long and wonderful
Starting point is 01:14:54 career and it starts right there folks. God, man. The announcers love the Notre Dame. Straight shot! Not bad. Big man. Not bad. You know we're doing a replay and Collinsworth's going to love that. His daddy would have
Starting point is 01:15:12 scored from there. That is my Microdosing blackface. That was Caleb, too. Look at his face. Oh. Didn't really pick that one up. Yeah, he thought he was in covers.
Starting point is 01:15:32 Ooh, that was a good one. His eye black prevented him from... Provoked me. Perrifto. He's got a crazy look. What the fuck. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:45 Yeah. Yeah. It's back, folks. It feels good to be back. Yeah, it really does. A broadsword. Do they not have time to sharpen the broadsards? I mean, they knew a stone would sharpen it.
Starting point is 01:16:08 Are you sure? Yeah. They're experts in it. They knew how to make the sword. What rocks can do. They sharpen the blade to begin with. Like maybe a long battle, it would become dull, and then they wouldn't have time right then.
Starting point is 01:16:21 I think you're getting like two good wax two good slices before Oh come on I'm just telling you they're not It's not today's modern I think you have a week's worth of a high quality sharp sword I just don't think that's true
Starting point is 01:16:36 We're not doing hardness levels on the steel Hey George this one right here right This perfect example Fundio Fondio May cause anal leakage Her book says goals Oh my God
Starting point is 01:16:51 I would eat anything out here at the two minute warning I would remind you about pumpkin spice creamer I would moderate to severely
Starting point is 01:17:01 pilf group dot com I give you some swelling in the neck is the website for Pilf restaurant group Pilth catering You got a
Starting point is 01:17:11 pregnant or plan to be Connie Roso Zollies Thunderbird pies and then they got the side hustle burger and fries that they could bring out
Starting point is 01:17:21 to your Cowboys Watching Party or your Baker watching party? That's the Ozympic Pill. Holy shit. We've got it in Pilf. Your Emmy's watching party. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:35 Your next corporate training event? Yeah. Don't take Pilf if also taking prep. Yeah, go to pilfgroup.com or just look it up on your phone. Get some cater. They'll cook it right there. Wherever you are. It's kind of like the, what's the restaurant with the Japanese guy cooking stuff in front?
Starting point is 01:18:04 Ibachi? Yeah, it's the habachi of pizzas. Hybachi of pizzas. So yeah, go to get your party catered at pilf, pilf group.com. Oh yeah, he's a bundle of fun. Mike Tomlin. Found out the other day in an interview that he's had a, a, He's been building on Minecraft for 12 years.
Starting point is 01:18:37 The jacket was barely hanging on. I should be getting in. If Mike Tomlin is relating to his kids in Minecraft, I should be. Oh, ball. You got it. Right? Somebody else got it. Yeah, we got it.
Starting point is 01:18:53 Vaughn's holding up a finger very confidently. Boy, did that ground or not? You called it. You called it. I didn't even see it. Hell yes. Dumbled and... Is that right? Again?
Starting point is 01:19:05 The offensive Fleming didn't end up the same... Let's see. No, probably not. Peanut. Punch. There you go. Clean.
Starting point is 01:19:19 Andrew Thomas? Yes. Yeah. I think they thought he was a bust. No. Maybe he's okay. Man, that was awesome. Who was the puncher?
Starting point is 01:19:35 I don't know. Damn. Hey, let's say hi to a couple more guys on the back row. Sandy, grab that microphone if you can real quick. Way down. Are you guys here for your community sit-in? All right. Community Mechanical.
Starting point is 01:19:51 Our HVAC company. Did they do a terrible job or a high-quality job? Very high-quality. Okay. Hell yeah. Thank God. One thing I've never experienced with when you call someone out, the first time I called them, they came out and said, oh, this isn't an AC problem at all.
Starting point is 01:20:09 Didn't charge me. No, no. no service coffee you know and all that quickly you know helped me figure out what the water leak was I thought it was with the AC and and that was great and then and then maybe a month later my AC did actually go out by far the best price and did it quickly with no problems they're really top notch and gave you a sit-in yes sit-in on top of that I love why you're here yes eating pizza Cookies. Jesus.
Starting point is 01:20:43 Drinking beer. Drinking THC. In the air conditioning. In the air conditioning brought to us by, with the roof that's holding that air conditioning in. It's crazy. So they went in, they went over your house and they put the secret timer, the break in one month timer. We were all. Phil switch.
Starting point is 01:21:06 It was actually a new house, and the inspector said that that, that, AC was on its last leg. Oh, okay. So I was expecting this to come, so that's part of the reason I called them first when I had that water leak, but it wasn't. Sir, this is a toilet. What would you say the height of the guys who came out? Were they exceptionally large? Barely tall, yes.
Starting point is 01:21:30 Yes. It was impressed. I think of all the DFWAC companies, they have the tallest average height. Yeah. Got to be. It's like the island. from the Odyssey with the giants. Whatever they show up to your house.
Starting point is 01:21:44 It's like the seven-foot bartenders. In fact, call a few AC companies. Ask them how tall. No, no, no, just have them all come out. And the tallest one make your decision that way. Right, yeah. Guarantee. Right.
Starting point is 01:21:57 And then you do get a sit-in. They can reach everything. Well, thanks for calling a community there, Sandy. Yeah. It's Sandy, folks. Does your family member have a cookie shop or anything? Yeah, no cookie jobs. What's the dessert situation?
Starting point is 01:22:15 What are you? Did you bring us some canoli? Yeah. His last leg's ablest? That's a great question. Kind of surprised that one ducked the... For now. You just put it in the dinner.
Starting point is 01:22:30 Oh! What a fucking strike! Has he jumped for you? Yeah. Wow. I think that had been broken up. I think we have a perfect arm placement. Maybe not.
Starting point is 01:22:42 Nope. Nope. Absolutely dropped. That's bad. I'm sorry you don't sign a long term. You would have caught that. You're doing it already, Jake? Come on.
Starting point is 01:22:55 I was trying to play along. Play the offense. Do you think we can get Brandon to wear a visor like GP? That'd be so funny. Possibly get him in a shiasty before that. Yeah, get up. That's it. Get out there, FERG.
Starting point is 01:23:14 Yep. Side line. That was a point, right? Close. I might have got a point. Certainly more than the... More than Colston level? Colston, yeah.
Starting point is 01:23:26 He went O for his hell, huh? He's a team for a scott. You know what he did? What? He blocked the hell out of some guys. Let Colt commit do things? Absolutely. They scored 51 points, and he didn't have one fantasy.
Starting point is 01:23:39 Sir, it's 51? That was a fantasy one, my friend. That was a terrible. wide receiver run blocking grades I would do with. Guards as to block. Swift is a pleasure, though, I'll say. Oh, yeah. He had three, right?
Starting point is 01:23:52 A PPP league, point per block? I mean, Swift is having an amazing day, and then on the garbage time drive, he just busted out of 40 yards. Rattled off, yeah. That's the sweetener there. Just like at Butterbean Bakeries. He's the butterbean of running.
Starting point is 01:24:12 The most delicious. Who did the bears speed up on? Panthers. Kay Rallana Panthers. Sharp, deep, and claws. Cats. That's a playoff team. Absolutely, sir.
Starting point is 01:24:26 I guess anyone who picked the bears to finish last in the division would be feeling pretty silly about it about now, huh? It's early. So Adunze or Burden didn't do much for hanging 59. It's kind of strange, right? I'm telling you, it's everyone. We're throwing the ball around the field to whoever's open. It's sad to love this.
Starting point is 01:24:50 Rome had like a 50-yard reception. What's sad? I guess that's five points. To talk about games like this is just disgusting. Yeah, you had an explosive play that really helped the team. So I'd say you had a great game. And Caleb came out and said it was a poor effort or not their best game. Could have done better.
Starting point is 01:25:11 Yeah. We're never satisfied. The Gary Bears. Is that a top 10 points scored game of all the times? 59. I know it was a score of Gami. I don't know. Like, all across the league, I don't think so.
Starting point is 01:25:27 NFL history, it's got to be up there. They used to score 80 all the time, just because it was, you know, some, it was the community mechanical guys. A lot of scataboo. Their union. When I was at the Hall of Fame, the lady was telling us about a team called the Indians, and she's like, I called that because all 11 players were Native Americans. Wow. Come on.
Starting point is 01:25:47 Try and change that name. In the wrong way. In Cleveland, they just needed one to call it the Indians. Oh, and picked. Yeah, he got picked. Yeah, it was. Indeed a pick. He had him with a broadsword.
Starting point is 01:26:03 There's Dackface. Yeah. Huh? What? Oh. That's kind of. You had that. That was actually.
Starting point is 01:26:11 pretty sexy. I got to get it. Sexual. That was very, very sexy. One more pump, and that would have been a foul. Ooh. I guess. Guess?
Starting point is 01:26:25 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hip. Hardy and Brandon. What do you? Josh. Johnny. Half-hearted.
Starting point is 01:26:33 Maybe no or? Maybe. Maybe no. Oh, is this the enemy? What are you guys? Oh, no. Big box. Boo.
Starting point is 01:26:41 Boo. Oh. It's a big box of bullshit. It's a local break. Local break, folks. Guys, Tiffany's a friend. No, it's TikTok. Chinese break.
Starting point is 01:26:54 Oh, it's TikTok. Tiffs is just big enough to be the rep for a company. Chinese. This is local. This is right down the street. You walk there. Yeah. 6.9M. My ass.
Starting point is 01:27:12 God. That's something that's not. Free yourself. That's a one thing for me. Like, I'll still, I don't prefer it, but I'll still eat like chain pizza. Obviously, right? Uh-huh. You?
Starting point is 01:27:34 But I am not Subways. Subways first to go. The second you look at your finances and you're like, all right, where can I upgrade? There's just so many other, there's no reason to ever be eating. I think 10 years. It's the, if there's last resort type thing. There's nothing else around. You're not looking hard.
Starting point is 01:27:53 I'd say a decade. If it's next to a 7-Eleven, what are you doing? You're not looking hard. Getting a couple bags of peanuts. Maybe a roller? Get a roller? A brownie. A roller.
Starting point is 01:28:03 I'm doing anything. Is that a catch-all for everything rolling? Yeah. I like. Driving back to and from California, I was fueled exclusively by rollers. But were they 7-Eleven? There's like QT. Superior, racetrack
Starting point is 01:28:18 Superior. 711 rollers. Yeah, yeah. Some of them are a little... You work in a warehouse district. Buffalo chicken noodle. What? Right now QT has the
Starting point is 01:28:28 Buffalo chicken, like, no, it's pickle chicken roller. Yeah, the QT top of the roller game. No, really. Why do you think pizza slice drive-thru never turned into a thing? Great question.
Starting point is 01:28:42 Because the whole rule of drive-thru, it has to be handheld. It has to be somewhat convenient. capitalism we all agree on pizza slice that doesn't make any sense what about drive-through soup because soup's a pain the ass you can't hold it that's why it's funny right sorry I think the point they're trying to show there is
Starting point is 01:29:02 four men rushing look at him looking yeah well shoddy uh uh-oh shoddy in my opinion incomplete yeah what is it about pizza that feels like you need to be able to see it
Starting point is 01:29:16 Interesting. Is it because it's pre-made burger? If you walk in the places and buy a slice of pizza, most places. But it was like the original delivery food, though. Oh. Yeah, but if I, I mean, I've eaten a- You don't see it then. I've eaten a medium pizza driving home.
Starting point is 01:29:31 Let's do this, Mike. Right? Let's start it. Once a week. Drive-through slice. Yeah. I pick up my pizza through Pizza Hut drive-through. And you can get a couple different.
Starting point is 01:29:40 You get one slice of pepperoni. Yes. You know, there's a pizza company, Pilf might be interested. Maybe you guys could just run this through them. Yeah. Thunderbird pies are very mobile. Let's do a Thunderbird. Eat those.
Starting point is 01:29:50 A Thunderbird drive. Bikini. Having worked at a pizza place, the reason, or many pizza places, the reason why they don't do that is because they can't make a whole pizza of one little variation just for you want your one little slice. Yeah, but it works. I don't want to hear your shit.
Starting point is 01:30:05 I'm not eating a slice. A lot of places you can get pizza by the slice. She's right, but sometimes the baseline pizza is ready. They add a topping. They put it in for one minute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's how like Sparrow was it.
Starting point is 01:30:17 100%. That's how they do hot and readies. Oh, my God. Yeah. They got it down. Yeah. Why hasn't Sabaro done drive-thru? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:24 It should. Because you can't drive inside of the mall or the airport. I mean, you could if you try driving in an airport. It sucks. You can't get into a flight. No, that's one of the new rules. You can accompany. Your car can't.
Starting point is 01:30:40 You can accompany someone to the gate in your car. Drive-through pizza Should be Do you think they're trying to trade for Aubrey right now Just for this drive No deal What if they won In-game trade per season
Starting point is 01:30:58 A third next year If we could just use him On this drive team You get the ball back With the Cowboys take that But we get to have Aubrey kicked this field goal This is big stuff Oh there you go
Starting point is 01:31:10 That's big too See that hard count did it Spider-Man meme. He's a ronion. Runyon wanted the ball again. His dad wouldn't have done that. All right. All things considered.
Starting point is 01:31:30 Go on. It could be a lot worse. Yeah, it's just, you know, it's a half of football. Yeah, it's a good game's right in front of us. It's a good half. Between two pretty good teams. Heavily pin-lides. With the speech that Shottie's about to give it halftime.
Starting point is 01:31:46 Dude, I forgot. I heard something, Shottie said, and I got to go. back. I've been thinking about it. What was it? There it is. Bill out. Oh, that sucks. In one of his recent press conferences, it's got to be the Friday one in the
Starting point is 01:32:02 preview of the Giants. I could probably find it during half time. He was just like talking about Harbaugh, and then he said something and then he said, you know, I mean, us sons of coaches. So he was trying to like put him set like, me, Harbaugh,
Starting point is 01:32:18 you know, same kind of resume. sons of coach, you know? Yeah. It's just, I mean, it's classic battle Sunday night. Speak Billichag. He was, but it was just trying, him trying to say he's Harbaugh. And what, yeah, you're saying he's not? No, it's a good throw.
Starting point is 01:32:40 I don't know. Dan, as AFC North guy, what do you think of old John Harbaugh? I never knew what to think of him, but it's similar to. What do you think of Tomlin, you know? Those organizations, right. I'm going to go in a certain way. Food so I can talk during halftime. I wasn't sure what to think of until I saw that speech.
Starting point is 01:33:03 He's got nothing. I know. Hard knocks can either. Hard knocks is, it's a false whatever, right? No. You often walk away going, oh, my God, look at Seattle. Who is the Cam Ward? Oh, man, Cam Ward. I like Cam Ward, you know?
Starting point is 01:33:23 And then they suck. It doesn't matter. I remember loving the Herm Edwards' hard knocks. Oh, man, that guy's got command. Hard-nosed. He sets a standard. He demands that standard. Right.
Starting point is 01:33:37 And then they were horrible. It's possible that you can look good on hard knocks and end up sucking. But I think if you just clearly plainly suck, it's not, you know, camera's not making him bad. If you were in the room, you would have fallen asleep. It didn't look good. All right. But if they score here and go up 14-7. We'll stop here.
Starting point is 01:34:00 Oh, oh. Oh, oh. That's about as bad as it could have gone. What about the communication? What about I thought everybody's on the same page? Camino what? Somebody probably slipped. I think Hebrew Flus could have allowed that touchdown.
Starting point is 01:34:19 Good thing we got him out of here, right? Where's Caleb Downs? Oh, boy. Both those guys. Wow. Where is Caleb Downs? He's not even on the field, Lizzie. Watch the linebacker in the corner of both just.
Starting point is 01:34:32 Do you guys see Caleb Downs on the field? That's 53. That's the new system. Famed Pornstar D-winners really fucked that one out. The new system is point there. Yeah. Just everyone follow one guy. Dude, 20 seconds, two timeouts, and Brandon Aubrey.
Starting point is 01:34:51 You think this half is over? No, sirs. Not to mention Kavante Turpin on the return. Yeah, shit. Could this half end with an NFL record? There you go. 78-yard. It could, yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:13 Do we have too much Peyton? Yeah, probably. Are we over-patent? Not as much we're over-shacked, I think. The general? Ooh. Or over Kelsey. I think we're over, we're over snooped.
Starting point is 01:35:29 Over Kelseyed. Over Kelsey. Top spot. I think overshed. Over Caled. I love Shet. I love him, but like I don't need Papa John's, the general. The Shack just doesn't give a fuck.
Starting point is 01:35:39 He will just, you. Give me a C-Oan ring. Yeah. Basically. I think he's got a week of every month where he's just got it booked up. Shacktover. He's the whole time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:53 Yeah. Shetover. Right before May, Vember. All right. 14.10 at half, dude, not bad. Let's go. Big return would help here. Can he get it past the 30?
Starting point is 01:36:18 No, that's good. Well past the third. 14 seconds, two timeouts. They're getting a field goal. Two go balls to Pickens and a kick field goal. What if Pickens didn't drop balls today? How would that have changed? They'd be up three scores.
Starting point is 01:36:36 Here's the vaunted Christian Parker defense. Don't get too near the receiver. Well, you know, he's a new coordinator, so he'd never have the chance to think about. Don't get too close. How to defend the end of half. Now that he's tried it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:54 He's learning a lot. Oh, full time out. Right. The end of this half will help him a lot in the end of the next half. You'll see. Oh, there is. He's got a shave that shit. There it is.
Starting point is 01:37:06 That looks terrible. And you know no one in his inner circle is going to say that. That's why he should let me into his inner circle. I would say shave it. Stop hitting the women. Quit letting off. That's it. Hold on, hold on.
Starting point is 01:37:20 I'm writing this down. All I had so far is shave it. I got to go now. Thank you. Main man, Von Miller. Ever been to Vons? That was the best interview. It's a big play.
Starting point is 01:37:45 Do you think he just yelled, here we go? Yeah. I assume so. All right. That's not a background. There's seven yards. That's not enough. Eight.
Starting point is 01:37:54 All right. So I have one. He's ready. Yeah, dude. He's like, fuck it. Now. Now. Dude, listen.
Starting point is 01:38:02 Is that an 80-yard kick? Three! Wow. Look at all those highlights. Yeah. Damn. The guy said he loves him. He looks so funny.
Starting point is 01:38:11 He could just get a visor that fits. God. That doesn't feel. good either. That's like one place on my body. And when you take it out, it's like pushing on your temple. Like, he's not good, but he's at least as good as Garrett. Can we have as many years as we got a Garrett, please? No. Probably will. Oh, they added the second back. Dude, Garrett's so bad. I made a promise. I still have to listen to Garrett every week. Let me tell you. I made a promise to Marty. This is fine. Watch this. What's up in NBC's hiring practices, you think? Nope.
Starting point is 01:38:45 Oh, this is good. This is good. Oh, please be a completion. Nope. No! All right. Sandy got it. Let's take a look.
Starting point is 01:38:52 Got nothing to lose. Let's take a look. He's like, reprievee. A florinole. Challenge it, challenge it. Catch. No, yeah. Not even close.
Starting point is 01:39:02 And he's getting up like this. Hey, come on. Run it, coach. Come on, coach. I guarantee it. Challenge it. No, send Brandon out here. Seriously.
Starting point is 01:39:13 Why not? Air it out. Seventy-7. 79? Who cares? That's from 79, right? Hook and ladder. In honor of FDNY.
Starting point is 01:39:27 A handoff to Lipke. That's what you wanted instead of fucking... You know what that is? That's a first down. We move... That's a playing... He might have some clause in his contract. A little first down clause.
Starting point is 01:39:41 Oh, my God. There comes a big... Do you guys stay on? Yes, I have. I'm going to pill fun thing. Do whatever you want to do. That's half-time. Very nice, Mike.
Starting point is 01:39:51 I like it. Yeah, get some pizzas. They're going to be wrapping up after halftime. So get one to go, get one for, you know. We're going to talk to Shottie here at halftime. Coach Shottie, why are you wearing that visor? I'm going to wait. Shottie, why, in fact, do you have three highlighters?
Starting point is 01:40:13 What are you using them all for? Damn. Well, my dad. Shottie, do you think? you called a good game. Yeah, Jake, while you were downstairs, they gave up a touchdown. I was kind of hoping to be a field goal, just kind of get out of here. Dude, it was the worst.
Starting point is 01:40:26 It was about as bad a one as you could imagine. It was like, you thought that he called Iber Flus and said, what should we do here? He said, hey, make sure that no one covers the receiver, and then right at the end of it, everybody points at each other. Oh, good. Literally. It was great. Oh, they're a dude.
Starting point is 01:40:44 You have to hold some stuff over from your old playbook so that not everybody's. too confused. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, it is halftime, everybody. And that means, we'll say Lone Star Beer is going to present us a check of the chat. We have interned Henry up here, high atop my garage. He has been looking at the YouTube chat all night long. Are there other cookies that are not?
Starting point is 01:41:12 Yeah. There's chocolate chip over there that are delicious. Sugar and chocolate chip. You're going to love it, Jinks. Hey, grab me a sugar if you would. It's the only kind I haven't tried yet. Henry, what do we got? Yeah, Carly asked, why are sandwich places the only other thing that's habachi style?
Starting point is 01:41:35 Why do I need to be involved in the process? Why does she need to be involved in the sandwich process? Yes, she said it was very important that I included this in. So just for us to think, we're not supposed to answer her right now. No, I mean, it's just a thought. We'll think about that during halftime. Texas Bravo says Jake should have to pay 10% more at Tom Thumb due to his outfit choice. 10% more?
Starting point is 01:42:05 This is a great tribute to Mark Cuban. Yeah, it's the opposite of Mark Cuban. Innovator of wearing a cowboys basketball jersey kind of. Right. Where'd you get that? It's a gift from a listener. Oh, really? Alex, I think it is
Starting point is 01:42:21 I like it I thought there was a void when Cuban kind of dying down a little bit Yeah We got a couple from at crabgrass hater First he asked did Dan smack Henry Hopefully open fist Never with an open
Starting point is 01:42:39 And he also asked Is there a peptide for me to have less body hair That is unusually damning They do have some to help with hair growth. Davlin, it'll make you more tan. But I don't know. Really?
Starting point is 01:42:56 They have a tan one? Seriously? They can help with hair growth. They can help with wiener growth. They can help growing things. But they can help weight loss. You could try a razor. These are local commercials for sure, boys.
Starting point is 01:43:10 Wait. Try a razor for body hair. George is informing us you could get a razor. I know from experience. What about a pill? Oh, there's Brandon. What about you? Peptides are good though.
Starting point is 01:43:21 They might help. You take a pill and it gives you a tattoo. Is this an idea? Wow. I like it. Can they help you shrink your penis? I can help you shrink your penis. Okay.
Starting point is 01:43:36 Like, I would only shrink mine. How so? Don't go on. Be in the room. I would want to donate some of it to those less fortunate. Yes. It's a lot of hair. It's got a guy I have.
Starting point is 01:43:46 Yeah. Could you donate? Yeah. You're down there hair for, like a cancer victim. One that also didn't have pubic hair? Yeah. Yeah. Because you lose your hair from the chemo.
Starting point is 01:44:02 Like Tom Green. Pubes for Pride. Yeah. I would have loved to give Tom Green my pubic hair. Yeah. That would have been such an honor. Anyway, back to Henry. Sew it into a pin cushion.
Starting point is 01:44:13 Mm-hmm. Back to the chat. Uh, okay. Um, I see why. Butterbean lent his name to this place. Because I know he's a guy who's not getting involved in a business venture without, you know. There's something going on. I'm not sure if that would.
Starting point is 01:44:30 It's not a classic snickerdoodle, but it wasn't necessarily a sugar. There was so much more going on there. Yeah. That was a journey. If really want a flavor trip is smell this candle. The vagina candle. Yeah. Suicide.
Starting point is 01:44:51 Um, someone said, uh, yeah, um, someone said when they introduced the people in the back, and they do it like in the game, like ask them what college they went to. Yeah, and they look up. That's interesting. That'd be a good bit. The DeVry. Yeah. How's DeVry doing?
Starting point is 01:45:14 We love DeVry. Caitlin Noblock. The Ohio State University. And then last one. Someone said Blake needs to have a new category of first down this season where he's really pulling a good one and just call it a chunk play. Okay. First down, the point is, though, a lot of times, you know, sometimes you're just getting those just by stacking up plays. But I like the idea of a big...
Starting point is 01:45:42 This is a Hamilton thing going on behind them. I feel like the Giants so forcefully embracing Hamilton is going to be an edge for the big game. Cowboys in the second half. What does Hamilton have to do with 9-11? That's a great question. I haven't seen the play, but my understanding is... They're both about America.
Starting point is 01:46:01 Place... Oh, you can... If you go back far enough, you can draw this to Alexander Hamilton. He's... And the queen. Yeah. In the word cloud dad text.
Starting point is 01:46:13 And Muhammad. Oh. Genghis Khan. Oh. Oh. We were at that you're going to like what you're seeing here. The guy was really drunk. Throw it to tight in.
Starting point is 01:46:27 Throw it to tight end. He's not going to throw it to tight in. He's not going to throw it to anyone. Look at those legs. That's who you should have picked. How come he didn't pick him? Because I'm not smart. So, hypothetically, going forward this year,
Starting point is 01:46:49 they got chemistry. What are the odds that we could put something else on the television at halftime? Pretty easy? Like something on YouTube or something. If we came prepared in the future. It doesn't have to be on our stream screen. Then what would be the value of it if it wasn't on our stream screen? Well, we could just react to it and keep talking about it.
Starting point is 01:47:14 I could show you guys stuff. Just the audio of it. But I watch React videos. D-K-Y where he diaries on the window of the restaurant while people are eating inside? Because the issue obviously You ever seen that, Dan? No.
Starting point is 01:47:26 It's a Chris Rabbs special. It's really good. I don't think I want to see that. It's really good. I think I pretty much encapsulated the whole thing and it just could be better. I'm going to go down there and just make sure everything's cool with them. I think the issue with putting it on the screen would be copyright and getting us in trouble with the stream.
Starting point is 01:47:45 Yes. No, no doubt. No, I just went honeybassies. inhaled it incredible they were uh prepare yeah there was like six ready what a setup yeah it's nice and those neapolitan right
Starting point is 01:48:01 they can do them it's a minute they made mine while I was standing there fantastic you get those drive-through you could you really good you're really good you're absolutely like it's so quick right
Starting point is 01:48:16 like as fast as a burrito right or a fencer or whatever the normal should drive-through Cane Roso is so feasible it's just got to be the half-life of the pizza once they make it
Starting point is 01:48:32 but you could do it fresh stores the Cane Roso like he's saying yeah you know the reason that hasn't happened not enough great men with great imagination that's it probably that's probably
Starting point is 01:48:46 yeah oh pop the top off dude everyone wants to it now, all a bunch of fucking posers. That was cool. Who are they posing? John Schneider? No, Ben Johnson.
Starting point is 01:49:01 He did it last season. Okay, he's the, now he's... I know you guys don't like to keep tabs on the most viral moments in the NFL. But Ben Johnson's getting to claim that. It was a huge moment. Is that why he said he's not screwing around this year or goofing around? Yeah. He basically had not pop.
Starting point is 01:49:22 on the top this year. It was the Wiener Circle in Chicago, said that everyone should have free hot dogs for a day if you'd pop the shirt off. Have you gotten a $40 shake at the Wiener Circle? No, I have not. You know what that is? No.
Starting point is 01:49:37 You go late night and you get a $40 shake. They're like, you want that? All right. And then you pay $40. And when I was there, it was a bunch of African-American employees, girls, and they would all pull their tits out and do the dance. Oh, wonderful.
Starting point is 01:49:54 $40 shake. What's the dance? Just a dance of... Just kind of swinging them back and forth in a suggestive way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, all right. And then they would go, shake, shake, shake.
Starting point is 01:50:05 They would sing that. Yeah, what are you doing after this? And as good as Weiner Circle was, the $40 shake was the most memorable item I've ever ordered there. The Burger King in my hometown got shut down because you could buy drugs there. Wendy's... Really? Wendy's made it through it. Jake?
Starting point is 01:50:21 Definitely buy weed at the brink. Burger King of Wendy. Yeah. We're going to be near the Wiener's Circle in a month and a half. Are you in? For the shake? Yeah, for the $40 shake. Without a doubt.
Starting point is 01:50:30 I imagine it's still an option. Why wouldn't it, you know? How long ago was yours? Mine was. Can I tell you, though? I mean fits there for Radiohead Lollapalooza in 2015, 16, something like that. If there's an option where I could pay, bubble voice, like $53 and get the dance and a milkshake. Yeah, delicious.
Starting point is 01:50:52 Because I don't like you've led me down the path of thinking milkshake. I don't know about their actual shakes. They're probably good. That's my fucking problem, dude, is that I have a couple of these and I'm like, I need to go, I need a triple scoop Sunday. Now. Are these different flavored or are they? Who said snickerdoodle?
Starting point is 01:51:17 I heard somebody said that. That was those ones over there. And they're worth the walk. It's halftime. You got the time? I've tried all three variety of cookies. The sugar slash snickerdoodles over there. That's what you want.
Starting point is 01:51:29 I mean, you know, maybe try all three, too. I'm just a chocolate chip bitch. Those are good. Giant ball coming out. Ricky Martin and Winstar, you interested? I am. I am. I would go see Ricky Martin.
Starting point is 01:51:59 You would drive over an hour. I would drive. Like if we were hooked up, not hooked up, but I could see doing like a group trip. That involves... She bangs. She bangs. She bangs. She moves.
Starting point is 01:52:13 She moves. The, like, pinnacle of comedy. Like, the first time I saw someone, like, really being funny on TV was that Chris Rock MTV, where he's like, Ricky Martin need another hit. Whoa. Yes. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why.
Starting point is 01:52:29 He said he needs another hit like a crackhead. Nees another hit. Yeah, that's good. That's very good. I feel like he's got to be in the top five of most successful youth stars. Ricky Martin? Of all, like... Was he Minuto?
Starting point is 01:52:50 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Well, there you go. That's the pipeline. Yeah, like, the fact that he's doing WinStar now, there was definitely a time where I was like, this guy's going to be dead soon. Yeah. And now he's just, you know...
Starting point is 01:53:00 Killed by an unstable boyfriend, you would assume. Yeah, or like a... Going 130 in the Dominican Republic or something. Yes, yes, yes. Palm tree. Yeah, like, fucking... Something where you're like, oh, yeah. Oh, hey, yeah.
Starting point is 01:53:13 You know? Here he is. Just raking. Like 60 and just... Yeah. Still looks... Way better than AIDS medication now. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:53:23 Than ever before. You like New York, Mike? Whatever makes you happy. I'm enjoying the final. You've seen Radiohead in New York. I have. Yeah. Madison Square Garden.
Starting point is 01:53:42 Wow. The world's most famous arena. How many? MSG shows have you been to? They actually played creak. I've seen fish at MSG probably thrice. Okay. And then radio head.
Starting point is 01:53:52 And then radio head. And I guess that's it. All right. I've never seen a sporting... This isn't going to get us in trouble, is it? Clayton? No. It should.
Starting point is 01:54:03 It could. The copyright stuff is pretty strange. But I don't know. Clayton would know better than me. We were talking about it. That was a... I think the question... Jameson version.
Starting point is 01:54:15 Yeah. Right. So... totally different. Bark up a different tree. Jay Cut. Send me the bill. Boy, that doesn't feel good to know that they're setting rushing
Starting point is 01:54:26 records. Is that what it said? That is what it's said. It's set for the giants. They're most since 2009. First half rushing? Yeah, in a game. It's a scataboo factor. Oh, get him. Oh, my God. Is that the kind of person that Overshon
Starting point is 01:54:48 thinks he is? A guy that gets run over by Cam Scataboo? Probably not. He just batters those eyebrows into the opposing defense. We are a light-ish linebacking group, to
Starting point is 01:55:06 say the least. I don't know how many years he can do that for, but it's a cool trick. Probably just this one. I'd say about week ten. Every run is an extra yard and a half on it. Week 10 of this one. Get the fuck off me. How does he have dirt on his numbers?
Starting point is 01:55:31 on the artificial term. That is a good question. Chocolate milk out of tits. This is grit. He did have a boy he knows. It's just grit. If he wonders how Henry's doing. How Henry's doing on the recording
Starting point is 01:55:54 the Cowboys broadcast, it seems like there's still some things left to learn. I think with another week of install, Parker's really going to have it down. Yeah, this is like week zero. Would you swap net worth your entire net worth for just the jewelry that's on the field right now? Yes.
Starting point is 01:56:21 Yes. On the field, not sidelines. I think so. You're only getting 22. Oh, interesting. Maybe not. At any given moment. I don't know if it's all real.
Starting point is 01:56:31 What they're currently wearing? Repeat the question. What was that? Swap your net worth for just the jewelry that's on the field right now. So, do I think that there's negative $200,000 worth of jewelry on the field? Is that the question? Is there $1 worth of jewelry?
Starting point is 01:56:48 Yeah. Deal. At the base of it, it's only worth the melt price. Yeah, because all of that's custom. But Neighbors has, looks like he's just going gold.
Starting point is 01:56:59 Awesome. And then. What a great one. Where is it at right now? Yeah. Yeah. I found out recently how much jewelry costs. 4,400?
Starting point is 01:57:11 Okay. Yeah. Go gold. Why did you find out how much jewelry costs? Because I was with Akash. Okay, yeah, that's right. So you're doing a jewelry man? Somewhat.
Starting point is 01:57:22 He's a watch guy, and I was telling Jake that if I won the lottery, I think $40,000 on my wrist sounds like a fun time. He said he wouldn't hang out with me if I did that. Really? Yeah, I'd be out. Don't tell him. Don't tell him nothing. I already ate the pizza.
Starting point is 01:57:37 I could leave. No, the second he said that, I was like, Mr. Roy does it. Not $40,000. No. It's not $40, but it. You know, it's probably in the five figure. What do you think? Are there Rolexes that aren't five figures?
Starting point is 01:57:55 Yeah. There are. There will be some. Yeah. Five. But not that one. 10 and 40. This is a old.
Starting point is 01:58:02 This is old. Which I think usually helps, bud. Huh. Yeah. Depends how well it's been kept up. Yeah. And I don't know what the... Parry with the cougar-in.
Starting point is 01:58:11 Maybe. Have you seen what I'm talking? Yeah. Here comes on. Krug. Come on. No. All right.
Starting point is 01:58:18 Check the necklace. He's got nice thick gold. Yes. Look at that thing. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. Look at that, Angel. Oh, there's...
Starting point is 01:58:26 Yeah. We got diamonds in the... Yeah, but... Like my equity in my house? Yeah, is it more... Is it more... Necklace alone might be a... Like, he's wearing it in the photo.
Starting point is 01:58:38 Straight up house swap. Maybe they set up again. I didn't know there was jewels, though. I think he's got... You could buy a home in San Marcos for what he's... got on right now. Yes. Oh, he's hard.
Starting point is 01:58:53 I was looking at San Marcos home prices. Really? Very reasonable. Vacation home? No, just, you know. Giving up on life. What the fuck out of you. I'm always right on the end of that.
Starting point is 01:59:06 No, I was floating in the river and it was like, what if I just wanted to kind of pack it in? We're getting old. We can start considering that. We're done. And, you know, at those prices, It's more reasonable than you're making. Is it not too bad?
Starting point is 01:59:22 It was like $2.50. River. Touching river? Walking to Rio Vista Park. Not touching river, but five minutes. I want touching. You're going to triple that. In San Marcos, there aren't any that are touching.
Starting point is 01:59:35 There's plenty along that river that are, but not in the city. Did someone triple the Cowboys? KT did. Thank God. So if this loses, T.C. will be the only person that won their time. triple. Oh. What did Blake have?
Starting point is 01:59:55 He had... He had... I know. I can't remember. The Steelers, maybe? No, no. Someone had Chargers. Someone had Iowa
Starting point is 02:00:05 versus Iowa State. That doesn't sound like that. I had Army. I had Utah. You had Utah. Yeah, Blake had... So I guess it must have been him on Iowa. Huh?
Starting point is 02:00:18 If someone did. I think that's where he was. who had chargers Blake tripled the lions minus seven okay and they they won but only by one
Starting point is 02:00:32 yeah that's an L I feel like if you guys picked the teams you couldn't have divvied them out better than it came out I like yeah it's a good
Starting point is 02:00:44 like how everybody's paired squad so Texas lost the KT and Blake lost OU lost in a rivalry
Starting point is 02:00:52 Detroit Okay, so Blake had Detroit. Team murder already on top. Murder, Inc. Team S&M, just hanging in the middle. Comfy. It's a roaring thing, town. Chilling.
Starting point is 02:01:17 We should get visors for our team, Dan. Logoed highlighters. Debute that Thursday? Thursdays only. A dangly earring already on the visor. Yeah, exactly. The fucking rock. Baldi and a visor looks like shit.
Starting point is 02:01:35 I hate it. There's that run defense coming together. That's no spirit. It's just not. Barnham. What if we just preemptively wear an earring now for a month? That out of the way. Time served again.
Starting point is 02:01:50 Like whenever Groves went skydiving just on his own? He's in the middle of that being the big punishment, and he's like, yeah, well, I'm going to do it Saturday. So then I won't be scared. So Roy, would you trade this much more hair back for this extra 30 pounds? I have that. I probably got 20. 5, 10.
Starting point is 02:02:14 I probably got 10. I don't, I wouldn't trade it. Oh, no. See, that's the spirit. Good communication, though. The bald thing, I'm good. Yeah, they all. So be good with the vice.
Starting point is 02:02:25 They were on the same page. They said, let's give them 15. Probably why you can't say a safety is the best player in the draft. I can't believe I'm not writing about this. It's going to change my life. Are you happy? In a good way?
Starting point is 02:02:42 I like doing it, but I don't think you'll... I mean, I would go home and just watch the whole game again. Like that night? And I guess now I still have audio to do. Nah. I'm like to. I'm like to. I wish we'd like to.
Starting point is 02:02:56 Yeah. You either got to go to bed at three or get up at three. Just write and we'll read it on Cirque to Soroy. I don't mind that. Exclusive. It's a big, it's a big opportunity. Contributor. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:03:10 Do something. Get you a new audience. But it's more like the, it's not that I don't like doing the work. I don't like trying to think of what is the way he would say. You guys notice that? He did switch apps. Did he really? Shot at the half?
Starting point is 02:03:23 No. Oh, he switched to fire or? Yeah. Yeah, he was PD and now he's the FD. What about Space Force? Yeah. That only comes in by, sir. NYSF.
Starting point is 02:03:34 It'd be good not to go down 21-7. Port Authority Police. You'd like it. Somebody stay with you now. Oh, goodness. So two touchdowns for likely. There's Caleb Downs. That's the kind of day today is.
Starting point is 02:03:48 Matt Nagyed. Damn. Aikes. Yeah, you can't be making Nagy look good, dude. Come on. I mean, what's 14 points to Goddies? He's just by himself. That's a great point.
Starting point is 02:04:10 That is true. That's two blinks. Two blinks of the eye, Dan. Counted Muhammad Otto out too. So true. So, Godi. So true. It won't do it.
Starting point is 02:04:25 Flip on their TV. A chemical Ali of the league. Wahlberg was on. There was someone that flipped on the TV and was like, well, I'll be damn. Holy shit, he did it. And McCaffrey. No, but that's, that is, you know, you think about, you see. see that was like local news stories occasionally or something.
Starting point is 02:04:43 You're like, oh my God, but you're definitely right. There's like a comedian or someone that I saw making this point. This is not a T.C. original. But Khalid Sheikh Mohammed went to college in like North Carolina. So he had roommates. Yeah. Not my Khalid. Buster Murdoch.
Starting point is 02:05:06 Guy I knew. You think he knew Murdox? Oh, that's South Carolina. You know, it's all. Close. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed might have known the Murdoz. Just down at Cameron Indoor. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:05:19 No, he didn't go to Duke. It was a tiny little school. The student sections going crazy today, baby. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Why would he go to college in North Carolina? That's funny. I don't know. I don't remember.
Starting point is 02:05:35 Follow the money. Yeah, yeah. But he did. That's what Blake wanted for. or bet pay off. To follow the money? Gages. We're all like,
Starting point is 02:05:45 chill. A quarter of a half dollar size. Yeah, whatever is permanently ruin the way that you look for the rest of your life. Just figure ourselves. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:05:54 Why don't you just become a eunuch? As a rock and roll drummer, ear piercing, ear piercing sounds mild. It feels mild. I've had an earring. Took it out as soon as you guys started talking about. I was like,
Starting point is 02:06:05 I was like, I was kidding anyway. But cool. Lip ring. I think that would be. God, that's so much better. What about like a week of lip ring? A week? Man, that thing is not even healing in a week.
Starting point is 02:06:21 I think you have to go. It has to be a month minimum. But the answer is no on a week, so I'd rather wear an earring for five months. Because I always, dude, I always wanted to, obviously with my Tom cosplay. He wanted a lip ring? Oh, yeah. At the peak, I had everything else down. How about a tongue ring?
Starting point is 02:06:41 No, I'm not fucking... So you can make it feel better. Yeah. Come, come, my... I'm not crazy. Whatever. R-R-P. You could fork your phone.
Starting point is 02:06:50 Shifty shell shock? Lippering, though. I could get my nails painted black again. Now, what if they were handed that out of a drive-thru window? Not for me. But I'm just saying... I would do it. That seems less...
Starting point is 02:07:00 Would you guys lessen the earring penalty for a nose-stud? No-stud... While gayer, I feel like you probably... People don't notice it as much. It kind of seems... seems low profile yeah what if it's uh the zeke the bull yeah now we're talking oh now we're talking set up oh man the bull imagine dan the whole fucking summer liberal arts dan fucking up in it the guy pulling all the wall man i'm so mad they got rid of uh bones
Starting point is 02:07:36 yeah he would have kicked it Dan would fit in in Brooklyn until, like, you got to the fact that he was wearing, like, Brown's-themed Nike's. Right. I'm sure those are huge. Like, all black everywhere and then just, like, this guy's ahead of his time. They know that's cool. All right. Here we go.
Starting point is 02:08:02 It could just be that you are ahead of that time. You know, you could just be like an artist and everybody's out. There's no doubt that's coffee. I know, Dan. I know. So how's this going so far? What if you're right and they're wrong. I would say this is at most the second greatest offense of all time.
Starting point is 02:08:21 At best. In this building tonight? Yeah. After the 26 giant. Oh, no. He looks good. He looks pretty fat there. He just.
Starting point is 02:08:36 Does everybody else every year feel like, you know, just this wild, crazy. How is he not dead? And then you see him once he, he's not dead. And then you see him on TV and you're like, that's not a ghost. That's a real person. Money. No, I look at that. You don't think that every year?
Starting point is 02:08:50 He's got 10 years left before he even has to start getting organ traces. But I think we're all like talking around being like he's bad. I don't want to see the cook down two scores with a quarter and a half left in the game. That's a good point. Not time for the cook. No, the revelation that Jerry had cancer like 15 years ago, it never got out and it didn't even slow him down. It didn't even nick him. Have you prepared yourself for what it's going to be like the day we find out he's past?
Starting point is 02:09:13 Have you imagined that? No problem. Yeah. I'm telling you, he hasn't got to Rothschild's level yet, where he's got to start getting organ transplants from his kids. Goodbye Dallas Rose. It's like the whole reason Dolly went before Trump. Jake, my line just got access to every organ.
Starting point is 02:09:31 It doesn't sound like a... You could do whatever you want in here. I'm not going to burn flour in here. Unless you explicitly say we can, although you two probably has rules about that. Yeah, I just got to go to that window back there. It's out of shot. Okay.
Starting point is 02:09:43 I don't think they do. Go to the bathroom. Jake, do you remember the days when you wouldn't feel like this until the playoffs? And now it's night one. It's because of expectations. I'm fine, dude. You don't look fine. We're going to be fine.
Starting point is 02:09:57 We're two hours in. I'm a fan. We'll get there. Danceman just paper cutting him all night long. I play 17 of these. Yeah. It's not open. How can you look bad?
Starting point is 02:10:08 Why are you so beating down right? What's going on over there? Could I get a week off of the earring if I, smoke crack on the stream. Yes. Wow. I would like to watch you smoke crack. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:24 Would too. Could be fun. I'd like to have a camera. Honestly, I know it's... The Anchorman 2 scene is so good. Oh, that hits you right away. We didn't know. It's kind of like prison.
Starting point is 02:10:37 Dan always asking about the rape. Mm-hmm. There we go. If we could guarantee that you don't become addicted, Sure, yeah. You will be fine. I've been around people smoking crack. I've been no funny of people who have done.
Starting point is 02:10:50 I promise, I won't. You do, too, Dan. Okay. All right. Well, you do. I'm excited as that. No, I know people who have hit a small and tasteful amount of crack. There's a tasteful amount of rock.
Starting point is 02:11:03 Have you seen? I have been around people who had just smoked crack. Not like friends, but I've driven down the street twice and seen a hobo. Oh, that doesn't count. Well, he asked if I'd seen people smoking crack. Fair. After the Tulsa game, there was a picture of... Like, do you know what crack smells like?
Starting point is 02:11:21 No. I had that conversation last week. Oh, yeah, it's... It sounds like hot cocaine. Is that airing it out? Okay. Yeah. Well, it depends on how it's made, too.
Starting point is 02:11:30 Some of it has a little bit more of a tinny smell, and then some of it almost smells a little sweet. All I can take through this conversation is, like, you little cuddled bitches. How do you not know what crack smells like? Okay. Come on. The real question, okay, what does it feel like? I would think more...
Starting point is 02:11:45 Have you had crack? Meth is more this side of town. No comment. Meth. I mean, she works in a garage. Jordan, you're a rock star. Have you ever used crack cocaine? I haven't used crack.
Starting point is 02:12:01 I've seen it being used. Did Ringo ever use crack in front of you? No, he wouldn't even take an icebreaker that was offered to him. Okay. Could be laced with fint. Did you guys do a message trip together? I don't know if I should say. Do you see any blue meanies together?
Starting point is 02:12:18 We true. Oh, I thought you meant us. Almost. The party, the, uh, Ringo. Yeah, yeah. The party I witnessed smoking crack, I'll say, is part of the greater circle of someone that Mike Soroy really likes. I'll say that.
Starting point is 02:12:37 All these hints. Shoco beware. All right. We're going to. Get off my arm. What the fuck. You saw Trey Anastasio smoke crack? Dude, this guy...
Starting point is 02:12:46 Close to it. Is it George Bush? Pretty close. Yeah, was it George Bush? He has... You were closer with Trey. Half of... Or more of the...
Starting point is 02:12:54 John Fishman? Yeah, exactly. Okay. Tray. You got... You got two. Can you go four out of four? I think I'm at the end.
Starting point is 02:13:03 Was it that... I know the lights guy. The fifth... The first... Now you're getting... CK5? Extremely warm. You saw that young,
Starting point is 02:13:14 youth... female golfer smoking crash. Oh, yeah. Zvig? Angry swig. No, that's not who we're talking. It's clear. That's sweet heart.
Starting point is 02:13:27 The Savoy opened was wild, huh? You were warmer with Trey. Stay at it. Stay at it. You're going to score. That was one of the bonuses at the hole. You hit a crack pipe and watch me hit this drive. I laughed for two days, three days.
Starting point is 02:13:45 days after you re-explaining the TC bet payoff with Avery. It was amazing. It's one of the more insane things. Putting somebody on the golf course with strangers that every hole they have to like entertain is fucking gold. Whatever I was getting into. That's the closest thing I've heard to the sandwich board and like die hard. Everyone gets a pass at you. They just waves.
Starting point is 02:14:09 They keep coming. You have no control over it. Hello. What are you doing? You should have put them on a par three with a driver. That would have been great. Right. If I really catch it. That's how I met Eli Jordan.
Starting point is 02:14:20 Oh, no, bad, no, bad decision code. That's not it. Bad decision code. That's not it. It was at, like, Trinity Forest, like, high tone where the Nelson was for, like, one year. And they, despite being in the full Ricky Fowler outfit, did not want to let me in. Like, I'm like, I'm here for the tournament. They're just like, I'm going to have to radio some.
Starting point is 02:14:43 Really? So I'm like in the, you know, just like, do you think I would wear this to something else? I promise you. You think I'd be caught dead in this much Puma? I don't see your name on the list. We're in the red zone here. This is a big play. How many times have you heard that one, T.C.?
Starting point is 02:15:08 Florida. Yeah. Yeah. What a route. Boy, if he just keeps his feet there, Dan. I'll let you do it there, I guess. I don't love it. Oh, double thumbs down.
Starting point is 02:15:20 Not the double thumb. Is that moose for? Both towers. Oh, shit. God damn, I think. We're not getting invited back to the Firefighters Association. Who do you think New York is playing for right now, Jake? There it goes, Dan.
Starting point is 02:15:39 Dan! Do it again. Yeah, there is. Yeah. Does that count? If you draw a PI, how many points is that in your league? Unfortunately, none. And he, as the stat showed you, led the NFL.
Starting point is 02:15:52 What if it's your super pick? Maybe see if... I don't need to get an S&LC. Your trifecta. See if Ben will add that. Superfecta. That was one of the funniest... No way.
Starting point is 02:16:02 For real. That's perfecta. Boy. I'm sure KT's commissioner of a PI league. Yeah. Yeah, it is. That was a pretty weak, fast interference. It really was.
Starting point is 02:16:16 P.I. Knockout League. It's also. I feel you on that one, dude. Yeah. Also, wasn't super. But it'll let Shottie do the thing he loves to do. Run it. Run the ball.
Starting point is 02:16:26 See, he acts like they have sick. Oh, there you go. No! No! B.S.F. That's a great point. Great point. Heart wheels afterwards.
Starting point is 02:16:39 See, they'll run this now, and then it's B.S. F. I have to think that someone with only an American flag on this helmet would have gotten in there. I would love to see a wide shot see how they're playing pickings because there's really no... Lucy Rippin? Is the tagline on the back of their helmets like, never forget? That classic Spanish last name Ferguson. Come on, he's in Alvarez, man.
Starting point is 02:17:02 Kind of like the Fleming's... Very Alvarez. That's right. But I threw it. It's not the Finghammed. Yeah. The Perry side. They're going to run this.
Starting point is 02:17:11 It's fine. Lay towers. Fine. Get in. Get in there. There you. The fuck off me. Javante. Everyone that I was related to.
Starting point is 02:17:21 There you go, Dan. They're all doing this. Portuguese. Portuguese. The estate was known as Chakra lay tau. The house of town. That's right. I got a picture of it at home if anyone wants to come with me after this.
Starting point is 02:17:40 I think we're all in. I think we're all in. when we get there, he'll just bring it out to the car. We'll look at it. Dude, there's nothing else I'd rather do. I'll go back to Fort Worth. Yeah, we're all going to smoke crack and look at Chakra-Latow. He played with the right side, played with the left side.
Starting point is 02:18:01 And now Broadway for the rest of the year. Messing with the betters. Messing with KT's extra point league. Yeah, exactly. Left. He was thinking about when Dan was asking to hit the left-up right-off. I honestly think he's doing bits for the show.
Starting point is 02:18:17 Cash never cash in on his double-doinck there, right? He's in again. Oh, he is. Okay. What kind of odds does he get on that? I don't know. I don't know. That's one of the best bits.
Starting point is 02:18:27 It's my favorite thing. I wouldn't even know where to find it, but like I... Anytime double-doin? He bets every year there will be a made field goal that's a double-doy. But it's got to be made. Yeah, it has to be made. That's a triple bed. Wow.
Starting point is 02:18:41 Three-leg parlay. How much he put on it? I don't remember. Okay, call them up. I don't remember. I'll call. Have them meet us. I don't have a T-Cs when he shows us.
Starting point is 02:18:49 Yeah, yeah, meet him down. He shows us the picture. Meet us and T-C. It's important. Cash. It's important. No time. All right, dude.
Starting point is 02:19:03 All right. You still living in the spot? Yeah, this is good. Yeah, yeah. Is everyone else clocking this? Yeah. She's saying that she's getting her period. That's what the commercial is.
Starting point is 02:19:14 Let me weigh out on this real quick. You're right. Okay, you're correct. Ladies, you ever been at a football game and gotten your period? Caitlin, I thought you turned yours in. Just came out of nowhere. I don't know. You ever been in a football game?
Starting point is 02:19:29 I thought you have to take it back to the office. Not really. Now back to trucks. This is. the man period. Trial fishing. Your girl always bleeding. Oh.
Starting point is 02:19:46 Man. Dumb's on comedy night. Yes. All of Scott's truck bits were killing with me. Oh, yeah. That's good stuff. Hey, do we have any, can we play any of the branded commercials tonight? I think probably not.
Starting point is 02:20:02 Why? Fairliest commercial. Well, I mean, I'll leave it to you all. If they're just trying, if they're trying to run something in some, I mean, I'm not answering that question. What if they're trying to get publicity for Fairbys? I don't think they were. Why not run all of them at once then?
Starting point is 02:20:17 Let's do it. I'm just saying, I think there was some... It doesn't matter. It's on our YouTube show. Okay. That's what I say. Let's at least put the one out there with them driving the truck up. Can we do that today? Flexible and focused on you.
Starting point is 02:20:33 We'll do it in next break. Fairlies when you don't know what to do about a coachie. We're going to talk. When you don't know what to do about a goal Because car stuff is hard You don't need a dealership, baby Man Yeah
Starting point is 02:20:53 Through three quarters tonight, the Cowboys defense. There he is. You giving him the donkey? Thus far. Let's go, Brandon. Let's go, Brandon. No bling on him. Not adding to our jewelry fun.
Starting point is 02:21:11 They still had the extra preseason game. They would have had it worked out by now. A diamond studded Prince Albert. You told him all fair. In the end zone, where does it come out to you? 40? No one knows. Where did it...
Starting point is 02:21:30 It went into the end zone. 25? Only out of... It never landed outside the end zone, only in the end zone and out of the back? If it bounces at the one and then into the end zone, they call it? They call it the drop zone?
Starting point is 02:21:42 What do they call? The landing zone, right? I think this is the 25. Yes. And landing zone is 20? That I don't know. This is a problem with the rules. I usually just pull.
Starting point is 02:21:56 it up. It changed the kickoff. Back when it was like the 20, and that's it. Yeah. Right? That's all you had to know. I remember when it was all just a field. True.
Starting point is 02:22:04 Used to be fields. All these rules used to be just fields. And Devin Hester never got a question. The goal post at the front of the field. That's a great point. He was at the Hall of Fame. Because he never got hit. Is that pretty exciting for you?
Starting point is 02:22:18 It was very exciting for me. Would you be able to tackle him today? Absolutely not. Is he your favorite bearer of your lifetime? Or is it Jay Cutler? He's probably not my favorite bear of my lifetime. Oh, come on, podium. Who's your top three?
Starting point is 02:22:34 Jay Cutler's way up there, Brandon Marshall's way up there. Alshan Jeffrey, love Alshan Jeffrey. A couple former Broncos. No Urlocker, huh? Yeah, I mean, Erlocker is definitely on the list. I just love him trying to fight that M.MA guy and Joe Rogan being like, Don't do it, man. He could kill you.
Starting point is 02:22:53 Brian Erlack is just drunk as fuck. I'll fuck I'll fight you I've not seen that Oh it's great It's Joe Rogan telling the story You know So he's like
Starting point is 02:23:02 And I told him You gotta watch out Okay dude So you gotta know some guys Who can fight cool What's this Rogan video Everyone's flipping out on Someone released a video
Starting point is 02:23:14 The Tsar of comedy or whatever It's like some It's a YouTube account That'll do Elephant Graveyard Yeah Giant breakdowns of like Trends in comedy
Starting point is 02:23:23 And stuff and it's as predictable as you think it is. Yeah. I wish we have, Dan, don't take your mic off when you're talking to Henry. Okay.
Starting point is 02:23:32 When you're yelling at Henry. I just heard, I just heard the sentence, why are you moving it at all? Jokes aside, like, will we have the audio? No,
Starting point is 02:23:44 Chish. We're going to have a lot of the audio. Some of. In Spanish. We're going to have Jake's Tower falling thumbs down, Joe. That's the one.
Starting point is 02:23:56 We'll have all of our. Our audio is fine. That's what Clayton's recording. We're like, you know, when NFL or NBA teams, they send someone to the next team. We have shooters. We have advanced scouts recording things.
Starting point is 02:24:13 Just recording the burline. Oh, come on. That's a flag. He flopped too hard. We're going to have to send Blake in with like a spy recorder and just slide it into Brad and Babes booth next week. With a steak and a Snickers bar.
Starting point is 02:24:28 Well, that's his booth. That is all I could think about when I was talking with Steve Burline. Is heating a butt of snickers? Did he have a mini Snickers in his pocket? He had to have one. He had to have one. He might have. Is this the quarter break?
Starting point is 02:24:47 Yeah. No, he ran out of bounds. Oh. I think. Got to think of her line losing the crowd. Losing the crowd. Because we have to do a chat check at some point. Maybe this is only in hindsight,
Starting point is 02:25:02 but the steak and candy makes sense to me. The sushi candy would make no sense. The steak and candy does not make sense. They had some filet there. People will do like a chocolate and coffee-crusted like valet. You ever heard of that? Yeah. Like rub type thing?
Starting point is 02:25:22 But that's not a Snickers. Yeah, that's not caramel and crunch, buddy. You could do Snickers rub. You'd never do, like, peanut crust, dude. But why not? Because how it would taste? I don't know, do you know peanut sauce? They probably do it at the state fair.
Starting point is 02:25:36 As long as it doesn't have some sort of Liz Brunig's science, it melts it because it's acid or something. Uh-huh. Then I say mix it up. Do you guys just see that there was a butt on TV? I sure did. A full butt? Yeah. He had full butt?
Starting point is 02:25:51 It was like awesome. He must work out. Full butt. They're not going to show the type of butt I want to see on TV. Well, back it up. I think you'll see the pretty big of butt. Is it the Michael Lawrence's butt? No less.
Starting point is 02:26:04 I believe it was. No. You like when they just hold it open? What, the butt? Whoa. Just the bend over, hold it open. Michael Jackson. You like it?
Starting point is 02:26:16 Yeah, that's what he's asking. Peering longingly. I'm not touching anything. Just looking. Hey, here's an idea. You're talking about doing different programming for halftime. What if we all just watch a porn? Yeah, that sounds great.
Starting point is 02:26:33 The one that Dan, the RA porn. D-winners. My RA called us in to see. Guys, you got to see this. I think it was me and another guy, but I hope it wasn't just me that you called him. He thought you were cute, dude. It's cool. Yeah, I mean, I've been wanting to follow up.
Starting point is 02:26:53 and the guy that stopped you on the way home and taught you to whistle the old man that... It wasn't an old man as a kid. It was the old man that made him swimming his pool naked. The neighbor I did swim in the neighbor's pool. Yeah, I feel like sometimes
Starting point is 02:27:14 when Dan talked about growing up, I feel like I'm on mine hunter. He's hearing about all these people that I'm like, that guy was definitely a fucking criminal. Yeah. The person you're describing has all the traits. Like when we got a run-the-clock.
Starting point is 02:27:30 We came back from break. That's a run-the-cotch. It really is. It took a full commercial break. Which will give us time for Game Day Men's Health to present this check of the YouTube chat, gameday. com. If you're not taking peptides and you,
Starting point is 02:27:56 are blessed to be financially able to do so, you're doing yourself a disservice. It's science, folks. They have things that can help you make you feel better. Well, I can't afford them, but if I got 10% off, I bet I could. You're in luck. And I bet you're also thinking,
Starting point is 02:28:15 I bet I'm only near 11 of these things. At most, 9. Oh. In the area. Gameda.dum.com. There's one near you. you. There is?
Starting point is 02:28:29 Well, probably. No, it's extremely close, yeah. So if I was on Pepsi, I'd probably walk. Machine goes to the one by his house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy's crushing it. Let us go to Henry. We'll check the YouTube chat.
Starting point is 02:28:45 Okay. Darrell asked, how much do we have to pay to be Jake's pen? Come over and suck on your butt Snow Monkey said Caitlin gives female Jake vibes A little bit Caitlin is female Jake
Starting point is 02:29:08 Okay Um World's okay as mom Mom with my dad level football. Yeah. You even do that? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:29:30 Funny anyway. And then Sam said T.C. looks like he tried to steal a lick of a Pinini press. Which I don't really know what that means. Yeah, I'd love some help on understanding that. If any of those. You blew it, dude. Blew it with your comment.
Starting point is 02:29:48 Do the good ones now. I've always wanted to... I've always wanted to own one of those. A Panini press? Yeah. I haven't. My weird aunt gave me one for Christmas once. Feels like something you have.
Starting point is 02:30:03 Yeah. Is your weird aunt? Mine's dusty as hell. Was she with your weird uncle? No, they're brother and sister. Oh, okay. So they shared. There's a common club on TV.
Starting point is 02:30:13 Have you played the cellar? I have not, but the Comtown dude used to all the time. Like, that was like a regular place for them. You just got to get two drinks. And then I went and saw it when I was there. You went to the comedy cellar? Yeah. That'd be cool.
Starting point is 02:30:32 I would enjoy that. It's a bag of the girls don't see, but. You see Chris Rock? No, I did not. Just walking. Henry, you blew it, dude. Did Walking Phoenix do a set? Not to my knowledge.
Starting point is 02:30:46 I saw Greer Barnes at one time. The turnover would do a lot of good here. Dude, you already got one. Your first comedy thing you did, the dumb zone thing? One of your guys told a joke that I can't get out of my head. And he was like, finances. Finances are tricky. All of my money is currently tied up in my parents still being alive.
Starting point is 02:31:12 I'm like, what a fucking beautiful, simple fucking joke. I thought about it for like two months. No doubt. How did that joke not get told already? Every day you just think about that joke. Yeah. Oh, it's so fucking perfect. You think about that joke, you think about that apartment complex in Miami.
Starting point is 02:31:33 Yeah, that thing is right. Such a good joke. There's an apartment complex. Let's tell jokes that other people of sold. I think I've heard something about that. Is it where Billy Graham's son and his wife? No. What's day?
Starting point is 02:31:51 No, but Jared Kushner and Ivanka live right across the street. Really? Yeah. All right. Do you ever just like, their house or they were mean to the secret service no that's no I know no no so the architect of the future of the Middle East lives across the street for property yes he's a head first guy that's a feet first guy you'll need to make a negative
Starting point is 02:32:19 play here in the next like two or three snaps or you're gonna lose yeah forcing a punt boring uh needs to be the play here I mean, a lot of game left. They're going to have a couple possessions. But they're going to start just running the ball. You're going to run out of time. That's a good point. That dark face doesn't inspire any confidence.
Starting point is 02:32:40 They can't run the ball against our run stoppers. No. Once Grant and Quinn and get a hold of them. If they got the fighting spirit of those horns, fourth quarter comeback is no problem. Uh-oh. They're going to start stopping the run right now. Now.
Starting point is 02:32:59 A notable lack of Caleb's. It looks even dirtier now. Who turns? Uh-oh. Is that Graham's Scataboo? Wood. Grams Caddibu? Not for me.
Starting point is 02:33:10 Cesseroid. That's great. Oh, that's a rookie, right? Maui Noah, yeah. He's a cane, Mike. He's a canes. Yeah. Probably got recruited by your buddy.
Starting point is 02:33:26 Yeah, maybe so. The 2-0, Duke Blue Devil head coach, Manny Diaz. Mm-hmm. That's a lot of time No way Good coach Blanket Where's O.B.J. been all night?
Starting point is 02:33:45 On the bench? They interviewed him pregame. Right. Really fucking weird. He's back? Remember the one-handed catch? Yeah, that was the Sunday night football Week 1, right?
Starting point is 02:33:55 I think they were asking It was. They were standing in that in zone. I'm pretty sure it was the deal in that corner. Do you remember when you were right here? I think I saw on Twitter they interviewed him about the time
Starting point is 02:34:05 that he sat next to Lena Dunham at the Met Gala? No. No. And only you and me remember that. I've seen the video of him and Bieber. Dude, I don't even want to go back into... That's an incredible crack block. Uh-oh.
Starting point is 02:34:24 Oh. Oh, my God! No! In the first down. Fumbled it to himself. What a little fucking waste. What the fuck. He can't be stuck.
Starting point is 02:34:33 Man, 88. This is a... This is my specialty here, Dan. This is the move. What's your specialty? Bleeding harder. Just any time you get that, like, X crack where... I'm good, I'm good.
Starting point is 02:34:45 Oh, this is what you would do? Just nobody knows you're coming. Yeah, look. They're highlighting them. Earhole somebody. Boom. That's all day. That's sick.
Starting point is 02:34:55 Because, you know, if somebody doesn't know you're coming. That's how we coach them up in South Bend. That's right. You got a block to play there. They were going to come over all the... celebrities and famous people whose kids play there yesterday. Oh, yeah. I've just realized, like, this is going to be the whole year.
Starting point is 02:35:13 Jason Garrett talking about guys who used to play football? You kidding me? Of course, you remember his dad, and then here's his dad. Oh, it's Shane. Then here's this dad. We got like 10 of them. Remember Shane did with his family? Ooh.
Starting point is 02:35:25 Did he do it with the hampshire? Yeah, it's at the end of the commercial. Yeah. See you, Carl. You ever have a guinea pig, Dan? Great creatures. A commercial, Dan. I don't know.
Starting point is 02:35:37 I had some little tiny guys that I bred. You were breeding animals? Yeah. Whistleman had a little pack, a little secret packed. I had a lot of animals. Let's highlight pilf catering one more time here. Connie Rousseau, pilf catering. You know them, you love them.
Starting point is 02:35:58 You would like them to be at your party. Maybe for brunch. Get pilf out to your house for brunch? Sure. What do you say? Oh, that'd be great. You could go out to one of their pizza restaurants, not just for dinner. Oh, you can go out to one of their restaurants, yeah. Gluten free and vegan-friendly. Just so you all know. Do you need some gluten-free stuff? Because they said they brought some gluten-free.
Starting point is 02:36:19 No, dude, some of us have girlfriends and like that we got a fucking appease them. But the point is that. Are you trying to drop the knowledge that you have a girlfriend now? Be moving on from the girlfriend. That bitch is a vegan, too. Caitlin has a girlfriend. Hey. She doesn't eat like a normal person.
Starting point is 02:36:35 No, most of them don't eat normal. Right? Okay. I don't know. I ate a lot today, bro. Whoa. Anyways, the fish is a vegan, okay? It's because she doesn't have headphones.
Starting point is 02:36:49 Be nice. I'm just saying, that reminds me of Thunderbird pies. Yeah. Yeah, sure, whatever. Thunderbird pies. Why? I'm seeing a new... Have you ever eaten a pie?
Starting point is 02:37:02 I don't know, T. T.C. Fuck. Put it together. Anyway, Pilf Catering. Pilf Group.com, they're awesome. Have them come out for your party, have them come out for your... PTA. Your bar mitzvah.
Starting point is 02:37:16 Is that a thing? Yeah. Yeah. Great smash burgers. PTA? Yeah, yeah. Why not, right? A little pickup line?
Starting point is 02:37:27 What about your soccer practice? Everybody's lives. Soccer practice? Yeah. Wouldn't that be a cool end-of-season party? Absolutely. Have Pilf catering out to the little thing out at the park? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:37:40 Let's do it. Anyway. I'm in. Give every player a trophy. Mm-hmm. What was that guy. And then they can take a picture with Coach Jake. Is he working?
Starting point is 02:37:51 There's no way he can see with where that hat is. Oh, big boy. He's just going to sit on the fire. Most likely they can do. Eat in burgers. It's like that raspy. Oh, boy, Jim. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 02:38:10 All right. Where was Tony watching this weekend? Yeah, where was Tony? There you go. Rap. Okay. Do they have... Tony's in the Man Cave.
Starting point is 02:38:22 Do they have a TV at whatever Malibu Rehab? Yeah. It's overlooking the... Promises. Yeah, promises. I was looking for the word. Thank you. Did he go to the center?
Starting point is 02:38:30 He hasn't said it, but I feel like it's a... Once Jake said that... That's probably where he is. It all added up. It makes too much sense. So he's going to come out after and say he already did it? Right. Because then how is CBS going to say, now you're fired?
Starting point is 02:38:45 If he says, I just walked out of a rehab. Really? It's a disease. A decent chance that CBS told him, like, hey, we got this place lined up. We've actually got a lot of employees to go there. You do this. We're all good. We have a deal.
Starting point is 02:38:57 Like having six drinks and driving home from golf is a disease. We got a punch squad. The place that I do. I can smell a word on you. He's sick. He's sick. I mean, he did that, and then when popped about it, said, well, actually, I've been hooked on pain pills for a while. Yeah, we'll see.
Starting point is 02:39:19 He had to tie it to his back. Yeah. Crazy that guy has a microphone for a job because he says some insane shit. Yeah, I just, I think that you probably couldn't get me to admit in public. Cowboy doctor. Oversown in the tent. I mean, he's out now. Is he crying?
Starting point is 02:39:34 Is he crying? Green Dot? Where is the green dot? He's him. He's rocking it. Third nine. All right. Here we go.
Starting point is 02:39:44 Here we go, fellas. Where's Vaughan? Can we close? Come on. That was a pass rush. Oh, gosh. We can't. Disgusting.
Starting point is 02:39:54 No one can stop Devin's single time. Really terrible. Actually, a lot of people have stopped Devin's single terrible. No man alive, man alive. It's kind of common. Yeah, look at my pass rush in Where the fuck Deck
Starting point is 02:40:12 You spent a lot of training camp Talking about Gotti And then you came out What did that mean? Look at that He even got his hand on it So close to being Just a fucking
Starting point is 02:40:21 Great negative play Mm-hmm Now Fon's out there And has Caleb down Has Caleb Downs done anything in this game? He caused a big hit Okay I must have missed it
Starting point is 02:40:36 The Yeah Sack Bumble Yeah That guy didn't take any shit Look at him Jeffers Is that his name?
Starting point is 02:40:52 Is it Carl Cheffers? What is Tarikas Kemp's been? This is a long time ago He was at a bar With an ESPN co-worker Was it a bar or was it a company party? It was a bar
Starting point is 02:41:05 Are you sure? I am positive Okay And he was hitting on her at the bar She said no She got it He was persistent. She got into a car.
Starting point is 02:41:15 He stood in front of the car until she rolled the window down. Thinking like maybe he's going to apologize or something, she rolls the window down. He makes the immediate reach for the inside of her pants. And the company said, don't do it again. He said, I promise not to. And that was the end of it. Do you know how funny an image of somebody half in, half out of the car,
Starting point is 02:41:38 like trying to figure. He's done. Yeah. A little roly. So like double in and in. Feeder kicking. Yeah. So funny to be.
Starting point is 02:41:52 Feeder kicking. It's in the ESPN book that's on your shelf. Yeah, yeah. Is it really? Yeah. I don't remember. Word for word. Great detail.
Starting point is 02:42:10 No way. It's so good. Go find it right now. We got time here. I don't want to. He really is one of the grades. Dude, he's amazing. That sucks because I feel like a big asshole every time we bring this up.
Starting point is 02:42:22 Olympics. Because I know, like, Brandon loves him. And if you watch him call any game, it is apparent. And it's kind of gay to me because it's very white, basically. Yeah. But he is dialed on special teams. Well, he saw an opening. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:42:38 That's a lane that nobody else is. And, like, it's all. They're relating it. They take pains to say, like, you know, this really had an effect on him. He realized he had gone too far. Amen. And everyone across the company that we talked to said he's done a great job since then. It's the same play.
Starting point is 02:42:57 It's the same fucking play. What, three times and four? Yeah. It's a little lollipop to the unstoppable. I'm going to say. No one in there. I'm like that. Just getting the fucking leaked.
Starting point is 02:43:09 Getting leaked down the field. Christian's learning a lot. It might have been the exact same. No doubt. You think Iberfalus is like just kind of is going to giggling right now? I guess I'm the asshole. It's your Tulsa game, Jake.
Starting point is 02:43:26 Oh, no, was there not? I think he's the D.C. for another playoff team hired him, right? Because he was so, it's pretty awesome. No, I'm saying he's sitting at home on his couch right now. Yeah, but my point. He's helping out with his son's team. He's taking a year off in Hawaii.
Starting point is 02:43:40 He might be a guy where the son's coach I was like, you know what? I wouldn't want to make things weird for you. We'll just do it. I don't want the kids to be too intimidated. You're flus. You always will be. He's on the 49ers staff.
Starting point is 02:43:58 I know, yeah. He's getting a consultant check. He says assistant head coach. Do you see, were you anti-fluous? Come on. We know how this works. In his Chicago center. I mean, he didn't do a very good job.
Starting point is 02:44:13 He seemed. You know, like, in the Hard Knocks to Dan's Hard Knocks point, he seemed like a fine guy. He had a beautiful home. Lovely family. Who is coordinator? The results spoke for themselves. I think no one lost more one-score games during his 10 years than him. Who is his O.C.?
Starting point is 02:44:29 He's now Lovie Smith, though. Who was his O.C? No one you'd want to know. Doell Loggins? Did he hire this person? Yeah. It's not a Jerry Jones situation. Virginia McCaskey's nearly dead, and then at one point you died.
Starting point is 02:44:48 I don't know if, like, Poles or something you involved in. They got, like, the Packers' Tight Ends coach, and, you know. Because, like, in theory, if you're the, like, you'd be able to get an offensive, like, you're the defensive guy. Yeah. You're, like, pedigree. You know that they'd be running it. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:45:11 Because Ryan Griffin worked for them, but I don't remember him having any tie to any quarterback or O.C. or anything. Like, why did they not have, like, Kell and Moore? I mean... Or someone like that. Whenever they got Caleb, it's a somewhat attractive job,
Starting point is 02:45:29 but... I don't know. I don't think Bears O.C.'s been, like, a big stepping stone position for most of the time. Man, this fucking blows. They, uh, they might come back. They might. Now you need the, uh, touchdown, I think it's, I'm going to say before five and a half.
Starting point is 02:45:52 Touchdown, then a scoop and score. Scoop and score would do it. I'm trying to time out when to get knee surgery, T.C. Before the end of the year. Based on all of our obligations. Oh, yeah? You're just going to do it right whenever we're done with Notre Dame Miami? It's on the list.
Starting point is 02:46:15 When the boys punch their ticket to the playoffs, you're going to punch your surgery card? Perhaps. You are planning to do it, though? Yeah, I had the MRI last week. Is it ACO? Did you pick your surgeon yet? Yeah, the same lady that did my wrist. Shane Waldron was, so I think it was Dillowell Loggins, then we fired him.
Starting point is 02:46:34 Shane Waldron sounds right. Yeah, I went back for a follow-up on my forearm, and I was like, oh, you do these? And she was like, yeah, mostly. Most people don't come in with snapped forearms. So I was like, yeah, I'm here, I'll do it here. I like there. I did make a document. with many recommendations from you and one or two other people.
Starting point is 02:46:59 Yeah. You need the locking brace. Let me know. I was surprised when I saw Julie had a regular cast the other day. Because I thought when I didn't have to have a regular cast, that we were done with regular cast. All right, 721, down 14. We all agree.
Starting point is 02:47:23 You don't even have all three timeouts. You got all three? No, you got two or three. You have 90 seconds to score a touchdown. Quick strike to Brevin Span Ford here. Is it BSF time? Should get us on track. I would go picking.
Starting point is 02:47:36 Zink! Oh, my God. What about that? That's not a good point. You think he spent too much time putting that little green things on us there? Comeback starts now. That was 10 minutes he could have spent. He didn't do that himself.
Starting point is 02:47:54 He's on his phone the whole time. watching film. I'd have been watching film. Steve Largent would have been watching film. He was looking at a mirror, I don't. He might have been watching film. Steve Largen would have been looking at film. When he was getting his praise.
Starting point is 02:48:11 Adam Thielen, film. There you go. Dan Campbell. There you go. That's the way to do it. George, a little bit more of a block there. Listen, if you're expecting more than that, you're going to be let down. When you have this office and you make sure that
Starting point is 02:48:28 Giovante Williams touches it more than anyone, that's what you want to do. This has been... Got out of bounds. Whatever happened. It looks like it hurts. A decidedly different game plan than what they ran last year. In terms of the types of running plays, they're running. I would think Tyler Smith has a big...
Starting point is 02:48:44 I'm sure it does. Big deal to do with that. Protection hasn't really been there. But... Other than that. Weird. Weird. offensive night from a plate calling standpoint.
Starting point is 02:48:59 Do you think they'd do better if Dak was Mormon? He's got a little bit of that. He plays. That's kind of what I'm saying, you know? Yeah. He'll do a video with Dude Perfect. How is Dude Perfect not Mormon? Well, that's just a matter of location.
Starting point is 02:49:18 It's Aggie. It's just a Aggie. It's close to Texas Mormon as you can get. It's the same. I see it. They go on missions to I don't even know where it would be
Starting point is 02:49:34 Oh remember the cruise? Someone was going to have to go on the cruise Josh was telling me about We're an ear on the dude perfect cruise The right one Do we have the one Fairlease? I have the one Fairleast Let's do the Fairlease
Starting point is 02:49:48 Because they've released this one on the Graham already, the one where he's driving up onto the field. Oh, then by all me Let's watch this, Mike, check this out I'm looking. Stop! He's fading.
Starting point is 02:50:01 A, I didn't know this was it. You didn't want to play the TV version? What was on the site? Go up one folder, it says TV Spot 1. Yeah, what is this one? Just the raw? It's before we had to do it for the TV. Base acting.
Starting point is 02:50:28 This is the one with that, though. Here's your car, Mr. Aubrey. Y'all weren't kidding about delivering anywhere. This is Fairlies. We never kid. Like the same. Yeah, get the TV one too. Then we can compare it. Yeah, you'll see what 17 back and forth emails yielded.
Starting point is 02:50:48 That looks flawless to me. That was great. You can't improve upon that. Full service. It was in-house. It's amazing. You did that, T.C.? Amazing.
Starting point is 02:51:00 I did, yeah. Jorts on the song. Did you sing that, George? T.C. Yeah. The beautiful voice. It wasn't me on the, it was Brandon. This is one of those times where as gays.
Starting point is 02:51:11 Who was kicking? Brandon. It wasn't T.C. kick. Who was the fillin? Like, didn't they have a stuntman type thing? No, no. Stunt man. Body double.
Starting point is 02:51:21 There's a future Cowboys kicker that was learning everything he could. Yeah. As gay as it sounds, when we think about leaving. Next break, we'll see the actual commercial commercial that T.C. produced. The fact that we're able to do that is pretty cool. All right. Now we're going to, now we're stretching the field a little bit. That's a six-yard pass.
Starting point is 02:51:42 It was an confusing place, Clayton. I have an explanation for that. We can talk about it all fair. That's a seven minutes. It's a really good story. Did you even have to address it if that was a crazy? I had to search it. But you found TV spot one?
Starting point is 02:51:57 Okay. You were looking up one level? Creative services? The deep middle. God damn it. What the fuck? They're pacing themselves. There's more jewelry
Starting point is 02:52:14 Fairly Throw on the Throw on the Lexan for weight Honest mistake on my part There you go A strike Classic Mingo It's Mingo
Starting point is 02:52:33 It's Mingo Does Mingo catch the balls In the first quarter? No Does Mingo catch in the second quarter? That was worth a third That catch Do you think they should start
Starting point is 02:52:47 Thinking they might be able to win the game in the first? For third? They should try to. Because they always talk about that you can only win the game in the fourth quarter. Jack, look at him off, GP up top. Take the shot. Yeah, protection's there. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 02:53:03 Got a half. Come on. Come on. Come on. He wants it. Yeah, what about him? Everyone's best. Let's see it.
Starting point is 02:53:14 What are we got? It's likely GP did. Come in. Passing a clearance. Oh, that hook around the ankles after he's on the floor. Yeah. I could see how you might be mad about it. What?
Starting point is 02:53:33 What is this? I was so down. I was just. CD's turn. I like all the newsman articles, too, about George Pickens. Found a home. Help him out a little bit, BSF. Pull something away.
Starting point is 02:53:49 It's BSF time. Get there. Oh, my God. Narlie. What was that dude? You should throw the guy in the white. I can't believe you, fool. There is a place where you could have put that ball.
Starting point is 02:54:03 You got the exact fucking look you wanted. Goes with BSF for just a second. No, he's all right there. Two horse lengths. So BSF, everybody's watching him. Oh my God, what a route looks funny. He's done fearing left. This wasn't quite a line.
Starting point is 02:54:23 He was hearing left because he saw the ball. The ball was tracking on. That's a bad ball. Probably a lot of win. I still got two places to score at DC. No doubt. Then a pick six, boy. Flanoid.
Starting point is 02:54:40 Oh, we'll do it. That's an extracurricular. The Flanoid they call. There is. There we go. The Domino's Pizza, Ryan Flanoid. That was a dumbest 15-year-old. No one of the thing you've ever seen.
Starting point is 02:54:55 It was pretty dumb. Yeah. You may not remember He made a significant impact. Yeah, if they score on the next play, I mean, was he still in bounds? I think he was... I think he was already out.
Starting point is 02:55:11 Yeah, I think he was out by three steps. And if he's not, it's great news. Out. Yeah. Okay, he's the stood-up part was the... Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:55:23 And I feel like this weekend I saw more offensive play. Oh, I was a fake. In any other, where are I? That is furious. There you go. There you go. They learned that. Don't.
Starting point is 02:55:36 Go on. You want it? You want it? Come here. Come here. Come, come. I'll give it to you. Yeah, don't play.
Starting point is 02:55:44 Oh, beautiful. They did fly. Of course they did. We can't fucking afford this right now. Two minute drive. Aubrey picks it up, no problem. Don't even worry about it. Classic Javante, two touchdowns in the opener.
Starting point is 02:55:56 That's what he does They saw the Giants run that play in the Red Sun They said I bet that works For taunting I said two plays God that's a lot of fucking Erasuraceable pencil I told you he switches them in half
Starting point is 02:56:15 It's erasable pencils He's got a raceable pencil A highlighter and then a red and black ballpoint Let's finish strong He went from yellow highlighter to blue Highlighting. Rogue.
Starting point is 02:56:28 He's. God damn it is. I can't wait until camp next year. I've got the perfect pen lined up. Just a, uh, have Dan present it. Two gram indica.
Starting point is 02:56:39 Yeah, fucking. Japanese fourth quarter. Japanese unit both. Okay. Side class. Harbaugh teams do give up. Yeah,
Starting point is 02:56:52 late. That's true. Fourth quarter lead, yes. Very true. Come on. Come on. What do we have here?
Starting point is 02:56:57 How long is it? Oh, Brandon! I told you, dude. Now we can't go for two to win the game. It didn't look like it was on him. Watch this replay. Well, it starts with Javante. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:57:13 Yeah. Dumbass. Why? Dude, right, especially to have that cold, especially to do that right after they just got an unnecessary roughness, personal foul called on him when it's like top of mind, how fucked. And you'll be if you commit this. You're down for.
Starting point is 02:57:31 14, get in there, score, like, chop chops. Yeah. This is the culture you've built, Shaddy. Well. Dinner. It's because he lets them taunt whenever they're playing ping pong.
Starting point is 02:57:45 That's right. You want to see Brandon make one? When they're playing Big Buck Hunter, taunting is encouraged. I don't want to watch the Brandon commercial until Jake comes back. Oh, I thought you were going to say till until they get back in the lead.
Starting point is 02:58:03 Everyone's in good spirits, and they say, cue up the Brandon commercial. Jake had to do his fourth quarter puke. Pace around the garage for a couple. I feel like within 30 seconds, Brandon thought about the show after he missed that. It crossed his mind. He might be asked.
Starting point is 02:58:22 He's about the show every 30 seconds. Shaking our heads. I know it wasn't his fault, though. Is this Jersey brand new? He was prepped for much shorter. No, he gave that to us at the GSE. Oh, really? He brought it?
Starting point is 02:58:37 Yeah. We just got it. Sick. Beautiful. It was two years ago, yeah. But not hung up. I've never seen it. Huh?
Starting point is 02:58:46 Well, we haven't hung it up yet. We've got a new studio. We've got a new studio coming. Oh, okay. All right. All right, you want to watch the Brandon commercial after, so you've seen the raw commercial, the first one that T. The first one that T. Yep.
Starting point is 02:59:00 This is the nude. And then this is the 30-second commercial, for TV edited down 100 different emails and edits oh here's your car ma's shoppery y'all aren't kidding about delivering anywhere
Starting point is 02:59:21 this is fairly we never kid I love that picture right there he kicks right at here trying to kick his drone just feels more TV give it to me that's killer TC
Starting point is 02:59:36 sports podcast shit baby yeah Way to go. Great work. Great work, man. Ever and on the team agrees, it's just about the song. That looks great.
Starting point is 02:59:48 It's going to be up here. It's going to be on there one day. Dan, absolutely. Dan asked me how much to replace. I told him the number. He said, Brandon, nail it. Nail it. No, he did not hit the drone, but we were comfortable with the idea that he might.
Starting point is 03:00:03 That he might. Yeah, that would have been cool. Yeah. Absolutely. Worth it, worth a shot. Yeah. Would the video have been saved? For eternity?
Starting point is 03:00:11 Yeah, it would have been safe. It's the exact same play they ran on us three times. Look, they're showing it. There you go. Twice. Let's try it again. Here's what they're doing, Mike. And then they say, let's try it again.
Starting point is 03:00:29 Let's try it a third time. And then old Brian Shottimer said, what have I just draw that one? That's me on Madden. Yeah. For sure. I got you a little player. Just please don't let them complete it this time. I pick my receiver before.
Starting point is 03:00:43 Pistol shit out of here. Get this out of here. Wasn't there a day? I don't remember which one the trigger is. A coach running the same play that worked. There's a job E-break. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a job. Gus Melon, right?
Starting point is 03:00:54 Yeah. That's something I like about him. Got to play the works. What are we doing? We're done with Pistol. Nobody's doing Pistol anymore. Why are they trying this at this point of the game? You hadn't done it all game.
Starting point is 03:01:04 This is classic Nagy. This shit has too many tells. That's why it's crazy. You just let Nagy score four touchdowns on you. He's got some bad ideas. The penalties were not helpful. Not helpful. This is where C.P.'s got to draw something up.
Starting point is 03:01:37 No. Okay, good. Third and nine? This is your chance. This is it. This is why you signed Von Miller right here. Yep. One shot.
Starting point is 03:01:47 This down. This is. This bull rush. Yeah. Mom spaghetti right here. The dude Caleb was on is super open, but I think it's on the back. side or now the backside. It was there with a little bit better of a throw.
Starting point is 03:02:05 All right. Just don't let him do that running back thing again. Someone cover the backer. I believe they're standing right over there for that reason. Stunt up front. Plenty of time. That's not good. Likely's been killing him.
Starting point is 03:02:28 He has another two minutes. Drew Lodge. Brother of Drewlock. By the way, that was somewhere we need to fit him into our Baker Mansfield. Drew Locke to me is like if Manzo would have gone to rehab early. There's a world where you can make it work with that playstyle. But I think you've got to get married. Look at that white backfield.
Starting point is 03:02:54 Oh, my God, dude. That's like the whitest team in the NFL right now. Mavericks of the NFL. He sounded like he was just, oh. Oh, there you go. Peneres. Big penetrage. That's what happens.
Starting point is 03:03:07 That's why you got them big boys up front. It is. It's all coming together right now. Well, if you can get off the field. Yeah, the one eye right there looks really annoying. Would you let someone squirt a water bottle in your mouth or would you just do it on your mouth? Absolutely not. I hate it every time I see it.
Starting point is 03:03:37 I don't feel like I'm getting the drink that I need. You're going to save your calories. Give me the bottle. They're calling it? All right. So Dax's going to get this back with two minutes. Both of the timeouts we were talking about before are still in the pocket. So you see the defense stopping stopping this drive here?
Starting point is 03:04:01 Second and 15. Second and 16. They have one punt tonight, right, the Giants? They're about to have two. That's if we don't pick this. TC predicting a punt. Here's my question. Have they practiced two-point plays?
Starting point is 03:04:21 Yeah, BsF, the two-point package. Oh, no. Holy shit. Good God, Almighty. That was tough. All right. All right. Do they go for it on fourth and inches?
Starting point is 03:04:34 Boy, I love it if they end up in fourth and inches. I feel like Harbaugh's a punk guy. Flip the field. Harbaugh's definitely a punk guy, right? Maybe you use your timeouts. Midfield. Does Harbaugh punt? It depends on what they do on this.
Starting point is 03:04:51 Yeah, yeah. Well, they got to decide that. I'm just saying, if it's fourth and a yard, a yard or less. Does he punt? Almost certainly. This, I'd like to see. This, I believe, is a- Shotty, do you?
Starting point is 03:05:03 This is a quarterback keeper here, right? You're up eight, do you punt? You go for it. You go for it. You got to go for it. Yeah. That ends up. Unnecessary to have to.
Starting point is 03:05:12 It's the idea of likely. Is that 10 fucking catchers yet? What's this dude? to the... He's a hard-baw guy. He's a hard-ball guy. Yeah, there you go. Good call.
Starting point is 03:05:22 All we need are the Cowboys to be an okay defense, right? Yeah, they're just kidding. That's all we're hearing. I mean, you know, I don't like to see in a little bit more points. No, I used to. Yeah, no. This ain't close, is what I'm saying, to an okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I, you know.
Starting point is 03:05:39 If you're telling me the offense on their effort alone in this game, I don't really see that. I think the offense should better. of a catch. Oh, yeah, it's pretty good catch. That's a pretty good catch. Now, you've got to make a tackle immediately, right? They put a couple back on.
Starting point is 03:05:57 That's nice. I was hanging out of the car. Waste. And then they just... At the window. All they said is just don't do it again. And then I was like, all right, cool. I keep my job.
Starting point is 03:06:13 Well, you should see what I've gotten away with. She's driving away. You're not going to be able to figure. I was talking about how I like a 16-year-old. Was she young? They put that thing in part. Go let you do it. I know a Toyota Corolla door can hold me.
Starting point is 03:06:30 Oh, gutsy call. There's that QB-B-Lug. Oh, no. That's probably it. There's 15 yards. Hit the comments and not winning play. First down. You know, I can go buy a piece of ice cream cake from the groceries.
Starting point is 03:06:56 Make this all better. Watch and caught up on what else happened around the league today. You're just saying, relax. No. You got a right nothing. We got 17 of these. They still got James? I see the weight lifted up.
Starting point is 03:07:09 I think they might have given him a couple of years. I didn't know James was still there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He did their schedule release. There was a shot, a couple shots earlier where, like, somebody got taxed. on the sideline and he's just a cartoon. Pull it him in.
Starting point is 03:07:24 Dude, how is he not starting for the Browns right now? They had it. He might. Yeah, he might. You still, I think theoretically. Don't you think? You need to tackle very quickly. You know my bit to taunt the Cowboys.
Starting point is 03:07:41 They should do the Tom Landry shift at the end of a game. That would be fun. That's a good bet. Opponents of the Cowboys. Don't punch. Go punch. What are you doing, dummies? The game's over.
Starting point is 03:07:51 Might as well get your licks. Oh All right Two minute warning Chat time The game is almost over We will check the chat for the final time We have interned Henry
Starting point is 03:08:04 Who is very Dicey in his duties of I don't know I don't I feel like he's doing great at check the chat But I'm The only thing I know how good he's doing at Is you know keeping an eye on my recording
Starting point is 03:08:21 And that's not going well So I don't Anybody else who knows how well he's doing it, check the chat, might say, actually he's not doing good at this. My dad says it's good. Anyway, this will be brought to us by Qualis roofing. They put a roof right on this dragon den right high atop my garage. They did.
Starting point is 03:08:42 Imagine how hot had it been here without that? That would be unbearable. Yeah. Bugs. Anyway, Henry? Yeah, someone wanted me to ask T.C. and Jorts when Dirtbag Culture Hour is coming. That's a great question. Special announcement.
Starting point is 03:08:59 Never. That's what did us in, I think. The freak, yeah. That's what held you a law for another six months. About a six months. Big fan of that podcast. I was too. By the way, I see of butter bean baking.
Starting point is 03:09:13 This cookie has two scooters of beer on it, and it just says you could have just one. Ah, okay. A famous quote from Blake. Yeah. And now it's got Jake kind of reading it like, oh man, I mean the cookie is now saying it. That's what? If the cookie says I could just have one.
Starting point is 03:09:34 I have been having good behavior. It's a fable. That's right. It's like Alice in Wonderland. Giving up a lot of yards on the ground today. All right, Henry. Someone else said shoddy is Jeff Fisher with tattoos in a ping pong table? No, I mean, Jeff Pishers.
Starting point is 03:09:55 Do you really mean never? T.C. He's never coming back. All right. Go ahead. It might. You can't how do you want, bud. Someone else commented T.C. brushes his hair with his hand more than a 2000s emo, dude. I mean, look at it. It looks incredible.
Starting point is 03:10:10 If I had that hair, I'd be doing it. It's incredible. I'd play with it all the time. I got a lot of nervous tics, you know. And then someone else said, Dan probably smells like root beer. That's a nice compliment. Yeah. I think I feel that
Starting point is 03:10:27 Yeah. Could be diabetes. In northern Ohio, most of us. Yeah. And then last thing that we just kind of need an opinion on is someone else said, Ezeraku kind of just fucking sucks, doesn't he?
Starting point is 03:10:42 He has not had a good game. Last year was free zone. Doing what they want. That's it. Does your dad text say, something to the effect of like same old cowboys I see this every year if they get the ball with five minutes left
Starting point is 03:11:03 same old cowgirls isn't there a game last year they really did that too was it was it Minnesota some team got the ball with five minutes left against the cowboys and won this very same way Arizona was it I don't know
Starting point is 03:11:22 but it feels like a lot of things like that happened against Arizona. Yeah, it just feels like some team that never should have. The year before last, definitely. It's a good teammate. I'm going to have to take something to go with that. He's a captain? Come on.
Starting point is 03:11:39 Hell yeah. Come on. Dude, you know when James is going to leave your life? Crab leg captain. Never? He's going to be like, Shagg. Family feud.
Starting point is 03:11:50 Barkley. He's going to be a host of a feud. Family feud, 100%. You're going to see him on some NFL TV, though, for the rest of your life. Speaking of quarterbacks on TVs for all my life, Terry Bradshaw is entering a phase that no one feels good about. I'd love to see it. He does not know what day it is right now. When he was on today, thank you for saying this, yes.
Starting point is 03:12:15 He's not doing good, man. Okay, I need to watch then. Like Bruce Willis? Yes. A little bit. A little bit. I'm going to record T. I'm about to unplug this.
Starting point is 03:12:25 Give me a second. I do have one more breaking chat from KT. He's in there. Go ahead. He said, Ask who they'd rather bone, and I hope I'm saying this right.
Starting point is 03:12:35 Charlie's Theron or Anne Hathaway? Which one were you can... Do you not know who's Charlie's Theron? He's young, guys. He's young. That's the easiest question, I agree. Give me monster.
Starting point is 03:12:52 Yeah. You want to? Would you rather her as monster or... I'd rather Fury Road. Fury Road, I'd say. Fordose over the hottest Ann Hathaway's ever been. Is Fury Road one arm? Dude, she's Calypso.
Starting point is 03:13:06 What about... Hathaway in the pop star movie? What about Princess Diaries, Ann Hathway, where she's like 15? Oh. God, damn. But the problem is she's always looking 15. She looks exact same. Always looks 15.
Starting point is 03:13:18 All right, I have a feeling this one's over. Thank you to... Pilf Catering. Game Day men's health. Yeah. Our game day guest is well. Done. Qualisturfing.
Starting point is 03:13:35 Fairlease.org. What else we got? Bonesar beer. Howdy T-HC. Brought us some product. Howl water. Butterbean. And how about, yeah, how about Brandon's wife?
Starting point is 03:13:47 Yeah. What's called Butterbean? Dude, those things are fucking amazing. What's the web? website or just search it, look it up on your phone? Get the sugar ones. The sugar cookies are like the best ones. Will you make someone dumb zone themed cookies if they ask for it?
Starting point is 03:14:03 Okay. Said they'll make whatever. Test that. Why not, will you make a lady? My husband would like a cake for our wedding. Yeah. Butter bean cookies. Oh, my bean.
Starting point is 03:14:19 Butter the bean. T.C. What do you want to promote? flick it. When's the next Thumbzone live stream? All right.
Starting point is 03:14:27 Two weeks from now. Adios. Mo. We've got to go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more on my video.
Starting point is 03:14:37 Car de Rosso Zoli's pizza grill catering to any food you want most likely they can do. Even burgers. Even burgers.

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