The Dumb Zone FREE - DeMarcus Lawrence vs. Micah, Dumont digging a bigger hole, and a birthday call | DZ 3-14-25 PREVIEW

Episode Date: March 14, 2025

Hear the entire show by subscribing to The Dumb Zone at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneDeMarcus Lawrence has some parting shots for the Cowboys and Micah hops on Twitter to respond. Patrick Dumont keeps digging himself a bigger hole. We make a special call for a birthday and tales from the group chat. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hey now! What you are about to hear is a free preview of one of this week's premium episodes of The Dumb Zone. If you would like to hear this program in full, along with the full archive... Ah, shit. If you would like to hear this program in full, with the archive of all of our past episodes, you can subscribe at DumbZone.com. The Dumb Zone presents... Do you want to join us for this, Matt, or no? You can. He's got to.

Like for a little, uh, Today in History stuff? Oh, you know what? I know you often make a call during this period. I was going to ask you if you wanted to make a different call. But you can only call one number, right? Yeah Who? Can I just show you I'll show you a secret look at today's birthday list Do you see like they got to see off the air how this works like there's an entire this is their subset group chat

I forgot to tell you show you have like their hope their own thing going on on should we try just dialing him yeah Because he'll never answer correct. No he will All right Don't look at my sheet. We're looking at my sheet. Did you want the mic? He needs a mic. I guess I don't want you right now, maybe He's the what he's the Mike Minton is a bitch guy that you that was me okay, who's that that's Mike Minton's bitch guy. He's the what? He's the Mike Minton is a bitch guy? That's you? That was me.

Okay. Who's that? That's Mike Minton's brother. That's a... Barry, do you remember that? Oh yeah. I thought it was a... It wasn't an e-brake collar?

Yeah, every e-brake, anytime they rolled screenless. Yeah. When they quit doing it, I went away. You want to try dialing now? Just for today's feature birthday? Feature birthday? I'll do some viewer mail birthdays. As long as you're not doing Luca this guy's happy. Do all the Luca you want. Too late. Dear Uncle Taint Titan, it is my retired Mavs legend Kobe Bryant birthday which is ironic

because both of those things are dead to me. My leaders are Dan yelling at his dogs, heart attack man, Jake repeating something funny that someone said in a slower voice, and Blake. Do you do that? I guess. Why's this guy up your ass? You probably weren't wondering, but the viewer mail open is from a children's television

show called Back at the Barnyard, which is based on the 2006 children's animated movie Barnyard, which stars the one and only Kevin James. Whoa! That's this. Hey, everybody. It's time to answer some of today's viewer mail. Bop. FNICO, Jkid, and the Adelsons, I'm a proud member of the Beehive.

Hell, yeah. I look forward to seeing y'all on the Bang Bus while I rip the Benjamin on opening day from camera look at this cast of barnyard we got Kevin James Courtney Cox Sam Elliott Danny Glover Wanda Sykes and David Keckner of Anchorman fame oh is this Brandon who Who's this? This is Dan McDowell. Hey Dan. Along with Jake and Blake, the lesser friends of yours. How y'all doing? This is not your normal number.

No. You just answer any call, huh? Right now we got work going on at our house, so just picking up random calls. Well we called to wish you a happy birthday. Um, right now we got work going on at our house, so just picking up random calls. Well, we called to wish you a happy birthday. Yay! Brandon, Brandon, Brandon! Thanks guys. Yeah, just thought-

Are you live right now? We are live to tape. Oh, nice. On this Friday. Brandon, the boys are back! Trent! Yeah, I know, we got all three of them. Banger.

What a day. Oh, we're excited. We're going to go out there and kick some field goals and punt some balls effectively. What do we got planned for the birthday? And what kind of work we have going on? Like, major? No, not really.

Just some soffit and I forget the other word the Book of the board that you see that's not facade but Whatever. What do you guys are just starting to rot? Just some woodworker on the house Okay, cool And you're over you're overseeing everything with an iron fist Not overseeing things. I got a Contractor for that. He's doing it. I'm just making sure nothing's burning down. You know this is potentially well this is the sort of thing I would say with him not here.

Mm-hmm. It's gonna get him in trouble but we had a lot of work done at our house, and I had a problem where I would like do my little yoga and they could see me while they were like doing the man work in the house, and it really felt emasculating. But I feel like for you, not only are you a cowboy player, you're also a kicker and a soccer guy by heart, so I guess what I'm saying is I feel like you could probably communicate with the people at your house pretty well on sports. Yeah, I try.

But they know what they're doing. I have no idea what I'm doing. So I don't want to pretend like I am and just further mess up my house. So maybe I am a little less masculine than them working on my house. You definitely are. No one's going to do it right. Yeah. Are you intimating masculine than them working on my house. You definitely are. Someone's got to do it right, yeah.

Are you intimating that the people working on his house might be into soccer? The people who were working on my house were. OK. And yeah. No idea. A little bit of a language barrier. Yes.

Like sometimes comes up. I get what you're putting in. Yeah. You know what's weird? I got to tell you guys this. This is for real. I'm going to release this info to Brandon as well. There must be some karmic thing in the universe.

Because I did not know it was Brandon's birthday. Prepared today's birthdays this morning, as I usually do. And do you think I walk into the room naked? No, I get dressed before I get on the computer and get the coffee and all that kind of stuff. And for some reason today, what do I wear every day? A black shirt. Yeah. I've worn a black shirt every day for the past like 800 days in a row. For some reason today, a listener had given us something and I thought, you know what? I'm going to wear this today. I don't know why. It's just Friday. Let's

go crazy. I'm wearing my. Wow. What am I wearing? Tell Brandon Aubrey what I'm wearing right here. Let's see, it's a red shirt. That is a red shirt with a logo and a number and a name on the back. On the front it says Toronto FC.

Look at that. Wow. I'm wearing a Toronto FC Brandon Aubrey Jersey T-shirt that one of our listeners gave us. That's sweet. That's incredible. And I've had it for like a month. And for some reason, I just thought this morning,

I don't know why I feel like wearing this. And then, yes, it's all coming together cosmically. You guys are besties. That's right. That's incredible. You did new in the back of your head somewhere. Just somewhere, the universe said, this will work out if you wear this shirt.

And I did. Well, happy birthday. I don't know if Dan plans on keeping you around for the rest of this segment. You probably have to go. Yeah, no, we'll let you go. But if you wanted to take the opportunity to kind of weigh in on the whole Micah D Law theme.

Oh, yeah. Let's hear your. No comment. And I do actually need to go. Thanks man, happy birthday. Bye Brandon. All right. See you guys, bye. There's the great Brandon Aubrey. It must be funny for a guy like that to just watch all that play out on social media. all that play out on social media. He's like, I don't know. OK. I don't know.

I mean, we love it. He must actually love it. Where was I? You could still make the other call. That's Cameron's birthday. I'm not trying to beat you down. Let's see if he answers. You want him to produce the show?

I don't care. Jesus Christ. It's? I don't care. Jesus Christ. It's that he doesn't help, now he's overbearing. Hi Dan. Nobody even wished me a happy six months. I turned 60. There it is. March 11th.

I don't know when it is. I was kind of counting on you guys. Isn't it, yeah, 9-11, right? Last drink was on September 11th. Yeah Which is eternally funny to me that people are gonna wake up think about a terrorist attack like I guess I have to tell them Congrats Dan I turned 60 tomorrow March 15th, and I'm proud of it as you know I'm a big dumb zone acolyte and supporter my Dan and Jake bona fides

Abandoned the ticket midday permanently. Pay. Regularly stream the dumb zone wherever I am in the world. Schedule my global meetings around your live streams. Humble brag. Double paying subscriber on both Patreon and Substack. Good lord, my man. You wanna take back any of your criticisms you're about to levy this guy's I haven't said anything yet You're like humblebrag dick

Listen to 95% of all I JB pods ever uploaded over the last 15 years Unofficial physics math and atmospheric science advisor to the dumb zone. Regular supporter of those early bird gummies. Regards from Nick, aka P1N. The great P1N. Yeah, we've known him a long time. He's one of the five smartest people I've ever met. He might have been there the night of No Puppet.

The magic. He was at a couple of night of No Puppet. The magic. He was at a couple of cowboy games at TC's house. And finally on viewer birthdays, viewer male birthdays, Hile, hero of the Hymen, I write this to you while wearing my free dumb zone t-shirt from Qualis Roofing. Today is the 31st birthday of my DF son Max. I once got him a cameo from Saroy as a birthday present.

His leaders are TC, Saroy, Danny, and Jake's bathhouse patio table. I say less TC, more Saroy, and of course more Blake. I paid the required Grease the Crease fee via Venmo. Received. Okay. From Quinton Artho, day one number 233. Queefton. Fire Nico, never punt.

That's a very solid email. Q, big up Q. What's up, Q? Elsewhere today is Friday, March 14th. And on this day in 1995, American astronaut Norman Thagard. Is that how you say it? I don't know.

Became the first American to enter space aboard a Russian rocket. He and two cosmonauts blasted off, headed for the Mir space station where eventually they would dock. Was it MMF or MFF? Remember the docking era? That kind of looks like a McPoyle.

Look it up later. On this day in 2015... We'll call her! Robert Durst was arrested. Oh wow. The wealthy eccentric linked to two killings and his wife's disappearance. Arrested in New Orleans on a murder warrant a day before HBO would air the final episode of the documentary about his life. And two days after he said that he did it all for the nookie. And?

Don't look over here. What? And on this day in 2018, tens of thousands of students across the country walked out of their classrooms to demand action on gun violence and school safety. Well, it's fixed. Done and dusted. A month after the shooting that killed 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. That's right. And since then?

No more. Everything's been great. That's an unfortunate one because the because it's a school shooting at the i just realized it was a really weird way for me to practice what i was about to say that that sucks right but i would it was on the funny school she does uh... it was particularly tough because well-intentioned

but it produced some really annoying j Z Democrat speakers. Like the kids that were there, you know. And I get it, they're passionate about it. They had to witness something traumatic. But I don't need David Hogg's take on Social Security. David Hogg is from that? Yeah. I think so.

Okay. I've seen his name out there. I just didn't know his bit. I think so. So what's your bit dude not everybody can get lucky enough if only this show had that kind of okay elsewhere in birthdays do you remember the big birthday we had earlier today it was like 10 minutes ago he plays he only cares about the stars yeah all you care about is the stars Brandon Aubrey dude he's also holding a mic under his arm yeah that's not well it's all Brandon Aubrey's birthday today

okay did any did any of you also send him a card yeah Dan sent him a edible arrangement yeah no I've I actually was playing outside his window last night at midnight. Yeah. He sent him an arrangement of edibles. Dan's just out there holding up his hands like a goal post. Kick it here. Kick it here. Dude, do you think...

Has early bird thought of that? Has anyone else thought of this, edible edible arrangement being an arrangement of edibles? It's a good bit. That's all I think about when you say edible arrangement. I've never thought of that before uh, Lion or Heart or whatever. Like what a gift! That would be the greatest gift. Right! Because edible arrangements suck. I don't even really know what it is. I've bought them before just because it's something different. It's fruit, but the fruit is cut up like it's a flower.

How does it stay fresh? It doesn't. It doesn't. If you don't eat it right away, yeah, you're done. It's more of a, I think, symbolic, like, hey, I've been married to your old ass for over ten years. I don't know what to get you. I get you every year. It's like Valentine's Day, Christmas, I've been married to your old ass for over 10 years. I don't know what to get you. Every year, it's like Valentine's Day, Christmas, your birthday.

They keep coming around. Mother's Day. Now you had a kid, and all of a sudden, I'm supposed to get you something for Mother's Day? Because you did something that only 8 billion other people on the Earth have done? Oh, I can't believe you've had a kid. Oh, wow.

And the cookies and chocolate I get you go straight to your waistline, so here's some fruit. Oh my god. One year I bought the universe, the next year it was panties. Come on, what are we doing? Right. Fruit. Yeah, you might as well just give them like a carrot juice, honey, ginger, or like the weight loss. In a peloton. That's basically what you're saying. But with edible arrangements.

That's right. Now you know what to get me. Every year, same thing. I still keep laughing about that. Edible arrangements. Edible. From SNL. That's so funny.

I can't believe they did that on SNL. Elsewhere in birthdays, former ranger Kevin Brown is 60. I think I got his autograph at a car dealership once. That used to happen a lot. Today's War Games winner. Was that a thing for you as a young baseball fan? No. Going to a...

Oh, you weren't talking to me. What do you mean? Like Jeff Fry would be at a Chevy dealership, and you could go get an autograph or a photo, and we would do that all over here. I mean, they still do that now, right? Do they? You hear about it occasionally?

Academy, right? Yeah, you'll see a. Where? A Stars. Oh, wow. A Stars player or a cowboy player or whatever at an academy this weekend. Or a water burger.

Yeah, I guess that's true. Kenny Powers was at a car dealership. Oh. I'll go and do one pitch. What was Will Ferrell's name? Ashley Schaefer. I've watched that series twice and I feel like it's almost time to do it again. I'll do it with you again. Like it's been like five or ten years.

Pepe Zellner former cowboy 50 edge rusher Like kind of sucked I think Have you ever heard of 59 year old Darcy Wacoluk fuck? Yeah, it's because autographs. I have I got that's the first autograph I ever got Backup goalie to any boat. He started a year didn't move. Yeah Back when back when you were in hockey, I was a young goalie Dan He started a year didn't he? Andy Moog? Yeah. Back when you were in hockey. I was a young goalie Dan. Oh they got turcos at a liquor store. That's shocking. You know what? Now that I think about it, I once did an appearance at a cell phone store with Mike Madonna.

So yeah. OK, there you go. Yeah. OK, yeah, he was always the backup. Larry Johnson is 56. Grandma Ma. Not the crazy one. Steph Curry, 37.

Has some interesting views on housing. Anthony Bennett, 32. Heart attack, man, sorry Dan Cavs 1-1 in 2013. Yeah Yep Ron Dane 47 Hi Ron Dane, what's he been up to?

gaining weight Probably up to 300 now Michael Kane 92 Ron Dane Michael Kane if you want to learn to talk like Michael Cain Billy Crystal 77 I just never got it just never got it Rick Dees is 74. American Top 40. The Dog. Oh, that was Casey Kasem. Casey Kasem did the voice of Scubie Dude? No, I mean when they called in that one time. Oh, The Dog.

When he was recorded and he's like, somebody's culling him. Did Casey Kasem not do anything on Scubie Dude? He did. Oh, okay. You're right. I think he did Shag he did check in Scooby didn't he? nobody knows I Really appreciate this article in this Wisconsin newspaper Scooby-Doo very presumptive here The headline is so you think you know Ron Dane. Oh I mean we all do yeah, everyone thinks they there's a side to Ron Dane

No one's thinking about Ron Dane Betsy Brandt is 52 Does that Betsy's a hot name it's trending that way now. Yeah Breaking bad. Yes from baking but breaking bad, right purple. Oh, yeah purple Breaking Bad, yes. Oh, this is the klepto from Breaking Bad. Right, Purple Lady. Oh, yeah. She loved purple. Yes, Marie. She steals spoons.

I'll give you something that's purple. Hey, thanks, bro. Why are you looking at me like that? I mean, I don't even... What if you just, I don't wanna hear it. Just politely applaud. I try to blimp biscuit joke.

Just say, I... We're a Yes And show. I try to blimp biscuit joke. Just say we're a yes and show I don't have an and for hey my dick is purple. Oh, yeah, bro There's no and high five This is supposed to be sports and Let's send that to Nina