The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 1-16-25: It's Deion or Witten, Mavs lose on a missed call, and Lawrence Rosales on running from the cops

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Catch every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneWe welcome in comedian, Lawrence Rosales, to hang for the whole show and he entertains us with stories about running from the cops and the loss of the Taco Bell dog. Seems like the Cowboys coaching candidates have been whittled down to two names: Deion Sanders or Jason Witten. The Mavs lose in a terrible way and we debut a new segment titled: Gummy Thoughts (00:00) - Open: With Lawrence Rosales (14:12) - Today in Twitter: Eagles fan follow-up (31:22) - Cowboys: It's either Deion or Witten (53:22) - Big Thursday Viewer Mail bag (01:20:17) - Mavs: Obvious goaltending (01:36:38) - Gummy thoughts: Monty Hall problem (01:55:11) - News: Bonnie Blue says hold my beer (02:25:28) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm DFW's own Danny Bayless letting you know that you are about to hear a free podcast of the Dumb Zone. But if you'd like to subscribe at dumbzone.com, you will get four shows per week plus the weekend wrap up and any bonus epis like our Business Wednesday interviews. Oh, you'll also get our DZTV archives. Again, that's dumbzone.com to subscribe. Now, on to today's program. The Dumbs are Dumbs are Dumbs. Hey now, today's show is sponsored by Tito's Handmade Vodka, distilled from the first legal distillery in Texas and founded by 6th generation Texan Bert Tito Beverage.

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Distilled and bottled by Fifth Generation Incorporated, Austin, Texas. 40% alcohol by volume. Distilled from corn. Copyright 2025. Crafted to be savored responsibly. The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza. Dak Prescott has more wins than any quarterback in the NFL since the start of last year. Say that again. More than any quarterback in the NFL since the start of last year. More than any quarterback in the NFL?

More than any quarterback. Yeah, and the past quarterbacks, too, for the Devs. Come on now. Hey, let me tell you. I'm going to get to that. If you ball, you get the call. And this guy, Dak Prescott, he got the call. Dak, what's up, boss?

How you doing, man? What's up, Prometo? I'm good. How are you? Baby, I love the bow tie. I love the suit. I love the look, man. You're looking quite dapper. Appreciate that. Got to. Is that a I'm going to win look?

You know, because you got to win when you get that clean, right? No, yeah. I mean, you know the day you look good and feel good, you play good. So when I'm in my closet in the morning, I'm thinking about that win. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Here's your guy. I never listen. Got to.

You're locked in. Ha, ha, ha. That's why you need Dion to rub off on him. I'm wearing a bow tie. Ha, ha, ha. Look, I got a bit. Dork. Maybe he can be saved, though.

I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jay Kemp. I'm Blake Jones. Like, what if they hire Dion and he just turns into the blackest quarterback in the league? Blackest quarterback in the league. Along with Rob Chickering, who we're trying to test because we're doing a video show today. I'm Dan McTown. I'm Jake Epp.

I'm Blake Jones. Damn, come on. Along with Rob Chickering. And in studio today, Dan. Jake. In studio today, downtown Dallas, our DZTV tv studios the home of more 27 fox 4 um the great lawrence rozales is here as well yeah hello how you guys doing hello glad to see everybody are you do what i said you look good. You look good, too. I was just thinking when I walked in, I'd heard, I'm not an avid listener, but I heard you skimmed off rock bottom a little bit.

We were close. You had nicked me. Yeah, but you're looking slimmed down. Rock bottom doesn't get enough credit for how it can really turn you around. That's what I've heard. Yeah, I go to AA meetings and it seems like everybody's- Wait, we haven't seen Lawrence since? No. You've been back? Did you go to treatment? You know, I found my own God, you know? Yeah. But I just feel like, you know, after rock bottom,

people look better. They like, if you're drinking and doing drugs and you're thinking, I need to stop. Don't. Keep going. You're almost there. You're almost there. Yeah. You know, that's how you got to do it. Yeah. You need a serious rebound to feel good about yourself. How are the meetings? You don't go at all? No. I don't go much, but I go to one a week that I like.

I think I would crush. No, the room is yours. The room is yours. So the thing that I don't like about some meetings is they're super depressing. Oh, yeah. Because it's just the worst story you have in your life. And I'm like, well, you know what? I feel like I need a drink.

Yeah. This is really kind of a bummer. But I found one where it's a lot of optimism. Now, what's really interesting about it, and I haven't really beaten these guys down with this this much, because, I don't know, we talked about it a lot and it was kind of somewhat move on time until I got another drug addict in here. Yeah, I know how that feels to want to move on and

everybody wants to talk about it. Yeah. Damn. Damn. I was going to say. What are you doing out there? I just want to hear more about Rock Bottom. He won't give us the deets. Yeah, I've given you so many of the deets. What's really interesting about it is the dynamic of the group. You show up, you're a new guy, and now it's like you've got to figure out who the elders are.

And the guys who have clearly been going there for 20 years but don't talk, don't take that as they want you to talk. They're comfortable. So I show up, and I'm like, hey, I'd like to introduce myself and immediately regret that. They're like, we don't give a fuck. Yeah. Put in some time. There's a hierarchy. It's like high school.

Yeah. There are little cliques. Was everybody mad at you? When I almost threw my life away and ended up in rehab or in AA. Yeah. Pretty much everybody, yeah. Doesn't that suck? That's one of the worst parts about it. It's not fun. It's like you're trying to get your life together and ended up in rehab or ABA. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much everybody. Yeah. Doesn't that suck? That's one of the worst parts about it.

It's not fun. It's like you're trying to get your life together and you're doing the right thing and everybody's like, I was thinking about the guy that landed the plane on the Hudson. You know what I mean? Quote, unquote, landed. Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, but he's an alcoholic.

Now he's in court. You know what I mean? I'm like, he landed it. I think you might be confusing this with a Denzel Washington movie. Oh, okay. Well, you know. Oh, yeah. He was a drunk and sleeping with the flight attendant. Yeah with a Denzel Washington movie. Oh, okay. Well, you know. Oh, yeah. He was a drunk and sleeping with the flight attendant.

Yeah. It was a good movie. But didn't he crash land it and then they were still mad at him? Yeah. Yeah. But he put himself in that situation. Oh, okay. Well, so did Jake and I.

That's true. You know? And was it just alcohol? Yeah, pretty much. You're not lying to me? I swear to God, I still will consume the THC. Oh, really? Yeah, but I'm not like you.

See, you always are like, I'm okay with one thing below. Whereas you, it's like, I have meth. It's kind of a problem for me. Alcohol's fine. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm okay on alcohol. That's what I know. I could probably trim it down a little bit.

You know what I mean? But you're not throwing your life away over it, which is the key. Yeah, yeah. And buzz balls? You told me you had one last buzz ball? I did. That was the last thing I had before I checked in. My wife was with me.

I didn't go in the van. What's a buzz ball? It's like a little. Pretty mixed. Yeah, it's just absolute garbage. Almost like malt liquor. And it comes in a little ball. And it's like in a little... They keep it behind the counter at 7-Eleven.

That's how you know it's not good for you. Yeah, it's not good for you. But that's also how you know that a lot of people are like, yeah, maybe one of those. When you're not really intending to. They're like $2. It's basically the equivalent of like a beer and a half. Maybe. Even the dick pills are on this side of the counter.

Yeah. Yeah. Anything behind the counter. 7-Eleven. They're like, we can't let you touch this. Yeah. The last day he drank was September 11th. Oh, really?

Yeah. Oh, that's sweet. You'll never forget. As I say in my own personal 9-11. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Now 9-11 means something to you.

I know. Yeah. The other day my ex texted me and she goes, you know, you've been clean for four years now. And I said, oh, thank you means something to you. I know. Yeah, the other day my ex texted me and she goes, you know, you've been clean for four years now. And I said, oh, thank you. I didn't memorialize the date. Yeah. You know? Oh, you don't do that? No, I just tried to like, I'm like, meth is like a different thing. You know what I mean? It's like, let's just try to close this door a little bit. People aren't proud of you for getting over meth. Yeah, exactly. Like, you're not a hero in any way.

You know? Like, I'll never even tell my son, like, hey, just so you know, I quit doing meth. Like, I think about it, though. Sometimes he's mean or something. And I'm like, dude, I'll relapse so fast. Like, if you don't treat me right, like, you have no idea what button you're pushing here. What I'm capable of. Yeah.

But she goes, yeah, you're four years clean now. And I go, oh, thank you. And the next day, she goes, like, hey, I need you to go take a drug test so you can keep seeing your son. And I was like, oh, that's fucking rude. That was mean. That was mean. That's a thing. They'll use those kids as a weapon like that, won't they?

Yeah. Dude, I knew a guy, I knew a guy my first time, an outpatient. He was a surgeon, and he'd been clean for five years. He had a cocaine and alcohol problem. He hadn't touched anything in five years, and he still had to get

follicle tested every month to be able to see his kids it's like i was on probation whenever i was like in my 20s and now i'm 39 i'm still getting drug tested i'm like i feel like a college athlete that like never retired you know like i went pro and like i'm still getting piss tests like if i get a little too happy or i'm having too good of a time somebody's like yeah we're gonna need you to we need you in penis cup yeah but it is too good of a time, somebody's like, yeah, we're going to need you to pee in this cup. Yeah, but it is nice when you do it knowing it's straight. Oh, yeah. For sure.

It feels good. For sure. It feels like getting an A in a class. Right. High five the collector. Put that on the fridge. Do a little Kyrie handshake thing with her. Can you pass a follicle test now?

Well, alcohol, I don't think that's follicle. Oh, okay. I think that's follicle. Oh, okay. I think that's drugs. I think alcohol is in your blood. So, yeah, I mean, that's like five to seven days. Alcohol? Yeah. I would not pass a follicle test because I'm actively consuming marijuana.

Do you get tested for the alcohol now? I just told my wife I would do it. Okay, so you do yeah okay and if i i'll ask her like hey you want me to do this like i'm going out of town i'll do this i'm going on a weekend ski trip in february and i was like you know i'll do it before and after i go i just it's not much it's like 30 bucks 30 bucks small price to pay if you just do alcohol oh okay it's like 10 panels like 50 yeah mine's well Well, how much do you have to pay that kid for the pee? I know, right?

He gets his kid to pee in a cup for him. Someone actually emailed us and said they had done that before. Really? When they were an 18-year-old with a 7-year-old brother. Oh, God. I know you're in second grade, but you're about to learn what brotherhood's

about. Yeah, that's nice, though. That's a weird way to get a job at UPS. Yeah, the piss testing thing is like I was on probation when I was a kid, and I used to have to take piss tests all the time. And it was weird because I had been arrested for drugs, but I was old enough to drink alcohol. And I still have a mental block. If I'm trying to piss in a bathroom, if somebody like comes in at the wrong time, like I'll kind of freeze up. And what happened is I had it.

Like if you fail a piss test, if you can't piss in the cup, like they count that as a fail. So they locked me up for two weeks. But like the dude was sitting there and when you're in probation, I'm about to piss in this cup. And there's a dude that just kind of takes one knee

like the end of a football game. And he's just staring at your dick waiting for you to pee, which is like a hard situation to pee in. And one time he goes, dude, if you don't pee in the next 45 seconds, we're just going to take you to jail. And I was like, that's not helping at all. So what I would have to do is every day I had

probation meetings, I would wake up in the morning and on the drive to the probation office, I would drink like a tall boy of a Keystone. That's sure to get you pissing. Because by the time I got to the meeting, we'd be halfway through the meeting, and I'd be like, hey, if you're going to piss test me, do it, because I can barely walk right now. And I would just piss in that cup, and he's got on one knee, and there's splashback, and

I'm like, I just didn't even give a fuck. It's foamy. Yeah. I was just trying to throw it back at him. The light beer. Anyways, it's good to be here. Yeah. Good to be here with you guys.

Thanks for joining us. Anyways, it's good to be here. Yeah, good to be here with you guys. Thanks for joining us. Yeah, Lawrence Rosales is a comedian friend of ours who I thought was on a lot more often than he is. Because you've been back since October. October, yeah. The holidays and whatnot. Been staying busy, man.

Been staying busy. Yeah, you got any shows to plug? Yeah. You got any 3 p.m. shows to plug coming up? Yeah, they don't put me on the 3 p.m. lineup anymore. I'll be at Dallas Hyenas tomorrow night with Mike Stanley, two shows. And then I'll be with him in Fort Worth on Saturday night at the Fort Worth Hyenas, two shows. Why don't you marry him?

I might. I might. He's a good-looking dude, really good-looking dude, yeah. I looked at the picture and got a little intimidated This guy looks like Like a mega church pastor Yeah He looks like a fancy hat

Okay Got a real fancy hat face I've met him before But that was like six years ago So I don't know I hope he doesn't remember me People change I don't know who I was then. Just ask us.

Let's see. I'm looking at today's run sheet to promote what we got coming up because we are live streaming today. Right? Yeah. We are on. Okay. I mean, I don't know. I think.

That's you and Rob. You and Rob are live streaming today. today and um we will talk cowboys as the cowboys the cowboys coaching search is uh you know in full gear uh mavs have controversy we have a brand new segment you haven't done this yet have you gummy thoughts no not not just by early. Yeah, you do it every day. Yeah, we had the friends and family opening last week. Okay. But a new segment, gummy thoughts. Just things that maybe if you were on a gummy, Lawrence,

that you might enjoy talking about. Oh, it's Thursday? So you know what that means, Blake? The Thursday viewer mail follow-up extravaganza inclement fossil thing That's right And what else do we got? I think that's probably about it Oh, today in Twitter

Should we start with today in Twitter? Yes Yes, we should Want to throw a sponsor? Let's give it to Fairlease Ooh They're a great sponsor They are a great sponsor fair

lease.org we've heard from several listeners who have uh taken this journey and leased their next vehicle with fair lease like robert he says i've been wanting a new car matthew at fair lease gave me the white glove service you've been talking about easy to do told him what i wanted within a week boom chevy tahoe right in my driveway, delivered by Matthew himself. Worked with Danny to lower the monthly payment, and that's the experience you're going to get from Fairlees. Blake knows. Yeah, I'm working with Matthew right now,

and I haven't been able to decide between a couple cars, so Matthew's setting up a test drive for me. So this is not all over the phone. You do actually get to drive your car a little bit if you'd like. But, yeah, I now understand what white glove service is all about the phone. You do actually get to drive your car a little bit if you'd like. But yeah, I now understand what white glove service is all about. Yeah. Ooh, white glove service. February 7th, by the way, we're going to have a remote that involves Fair Lease.

That's the only details I can give you right now. Oh, really? Mark your calendars. And if you're leasing a car, go to fairlease.org, Dan. Okay, I will. We are doing... The Dumb Zone presents Today in Twitter. So are you familiar at all?

I'll ask you, Lawrence. Yes, sir. Because I think everyone else here is. With the story of the Philadelphia Eagle fan who was berating a Packer fan at the Eagles game. No, I did not see this. Okay, so this went viral. Rob, this is that Twitter video that I sent you.

So we can watch and listen because many people are just listening. But this is what went viral just a few days ago, right after the Eagles beat the Packers. Looks like you're up in the 300s. There's a lady dressed in Packers gear, and then look at the guy behind her. Row behind. One more yard, though. They're close.

Yeah, but they're not in. It's not a touchdown. They don't sure if I'll come in the air. Okay, well, is it a goal, They're not in. It's not a touchdown. Yeah. See, don't jerk off. Come in the air. Okay, well. This is. Don't fall or don't hunt. That was good. That was a lovely dumb turn.

Cool. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, do the third for her. I'm off the edge. You're doing it. I'm coming for her. Yup.

Yup. That's it. Yup. so basically yeah the basic thing is this guy is i mean it's not like he's uh putting her in physical harm he's not uh but he is calling her a dumb cunt a dumb cunt. A dumb cunt. It's and then apparently ugly dumb an ugly dumb yeah nobody's focusing on the ugly part.

So this goes viral then you get the what you get is the hey internet do your thing. Let's find out who this guy is.

Love that. Internet does its thing. Because do you remember the last one? Huh? The ravens fan that was fighting 49ers fans vaguely there's been a lot of them what happened with him this guy was walking downtown baltimore i think oh the dude who was going to jail yeah the guy in the lamar jersey yeah yeah he was like a big deal like some uh financial firm or something and he's like blackout

big boy too huge yeah look like one of the fucking facebook twins what are those guys some financial firm or something, and he's like blackout. Big boy, too. Yeah, looked like one of the fucking Facebook twins. What were those guys? The Winklevoss twins? Yeah, sorry. I'm trying not to swear, Blake. I know you have things to edit. No.

And he just starts punching dudes on the street, and he ended up going to jail. Yeah, he pummeled these two guys. Anyway, it's videoed, and I think that's where – this is why this is a story. It's because NFL Twitter found that guy, got him fired, and apparently he's going to jail. Now this is a thing. Jail?

Not this guy. Not the Eagles guy. That guy was committing felony assault. Winklevoss guy, for sure. This guy also lost his job. Yeah. The Eagles guy. The Eagles guy? What was he? was confused. Oh, the Eagles guy? What was he?

Some consulting firm, right? Just generic. I feel like I had a couple thoughts. There were some letters. Yeah, BCT Partners Consulting. We all know Eagles fans are terrible. If you're going to go there and walk in, shouldn't you at least bring something? Shouldn't you just have a backpack full of cheesesteaks?

Somebody could have just handed that guy a cheesesteak in the middle of that, and he would have been like, oh, okay, well, thanks. Yeah, you have to have something. Or you have to have thick skin and just realize you're wearing Packers gear at the link. Yeah. That's a little victim-blaming. Look what she was wearing, Judge. But I'm with you.

Had he physically assaulted her, that would have been my line. I don't think just calling somebody names is worth getting fired over. Definitely not. There are other things I have. Getting someone fired over what they called you is being a fucking cunt.

It's ironic how this works. I thought that the other day whenever I was telling them, sorry, camera kick, the guys at Shane that are like, sorry, camera kick. The guys at Shane, they're like, oh, you know, they just want to yell like, oh, it's okay for me to say gay, yeah. And my thought was like, well, it's fine if you say it or whatever, but being that excited about it to me seems gay. Yeah, yeah, that is funny. It seems like a weird thing.

But no, this guy, we may have to play the video again, but there's a couple really funny parts. So it starts out and she's doing almost like a higher-up Trump dance with her fists. Women do this a lot. Like, first, they'll, eee. And then if you can hear on the PA, they got stopped at the one. And so the guy who is the offender here, his big complaint was like, you don't cheer like that if it's not a touchdown.

And he's like, you don't do the jack off and come in the air move if it's not a touchdown. And he's like protecting the honor of that celebration. Yeah. Which is pretty gay. We don't come at the one yard line. We do not come at the one yard line. He waits to break that out.

And then the other thing, which doesn't really translate all that well to audio, and I am certainly guilty of this as a fan, you got a big stand, right? Maybe a big third down, as Blake would call it, or a goal line stand, and you stand in your seat and you kind of hunch over and put your hands on your knees. Helping the team out. Yeah, like you're about to just get low and win the line of scrimmage. It's such a dork move. I do that. When it's

third down and I'm at home on the couch, I stand up and get behind the couch. You know what I mean? His name is Ryan Caldwell. Ryan Caldwell. The New York Post got a hold of him. Ooh. Yeah.

He said that the video does not reflect the full context of what transpired, and my actions were not without provocation. Let's see. He put out a statement. While attending an NFL game last Sunday to support my beloved Philadelphia Eagles, an incident occurred that I deeply regret. What began as banter with two Packer fans sitting next to me escalated to

something more serious, and I said things that were unacceptable. In the heat of the moment, I chose unforgiving words to address one of the fans, Ms. Allie Keller. I want to sincerely apologize to Ms. Keller for those words, and to my wife, family, and friends, my former employer and colleagues, Packer fans, Eagle fans, the Philadelphia Eagles, the city of Philadelphia,

and all who were offended. Okay, that's quite a wide swath. Oh, that's embarrassing. That said, there are two sides to every story. Phenomenal. The video clip circulating online does not reflect the full context of what transpired and my actions were not without provocation.

I will live with this experience and I'm certainly paying a personal price. For those who don't know me, do you want to guess? Any guesses? My guess? For those who don't know me... Hold on. Do you want to guess? Any guesses?

My guess? We're rounding third. We're heading for home with this statement. I go big C. He's dealing with cancer. For those... It does not represent who I am. That's standard, yeah. It doesn't represent who I am.

I wish he'd double down. That's what I wish. For those who don't know me, or know wish. For those who don't know me, or know me. For those who don't know me, this incident does not reflect my values or the respect I have for others

and is not indicative of the person I am. Yeah, you went standard. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I love in the story in the New York Post and a couple others I've seen,

they say that the guy's been banned from the link. Yeah. And I really can't find any statement from the Eagles on this. I have found the statement. There's a statement from his job saying like, uh-uh. But I haven't found a statement from the Eagles. The closest we have is an Eagles podcaster who said that Big Dom is aware of the situation. Big Dom, the Eagles.

Do you hate him? Redskins fan hates Big Dom? He is a beating. He's like their mascot. The Eagles have a guy who looks like he's Tony Soprano, and he's their head of security. And he's on the sideline. He has a headset. He's next to the coach.

Triple hot dog neck, meathead guy. And he's just Philadelphia in a person. If we haven't learned anything from Donald Trump, don't apologize. Yeah. Double down. Go even harder. What if, because the Eagles won 22-10, what if he just put out a statement that just said scoreboard?

Yeah, 22-10, you see? You know, like, I don't know. I don't know. I think walking into the opponent's stadium dressed like that and yelling is, like, kind of antagonistic. Isn't that the whole idea? Yeah, do you have the second part? There's Dom Lawrence. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Got the gold chain. How did he become a national treasure? What did he do last year? He looks like he beats off to other O-tackles. Yeah, what was it? What was the big thing? He bowed up to a player, didn't he? Yeah, what was it? What was the big thing? He bowed up to a player, didn't he?

Yeah. Yeah, he was like banned from the sideline for a little while. Dre Greenlaw. Yeah. It just looks like

the whole hot dog roller at a quick trip. Anyway, this is the new internet, though. So it used to be, yeah, we go find this guy, we get

him fired, and people put down their pitchforks and look for the next guy can i keep guessing i like cultural guesses huh does he have like a gofundme or anything uh the guy that got fired yeah no okay but gofundme is a part of this story if you don't know so the new thing well perhaps this isn new. Remember the kid that was bullied because somebody poured milk and ham down his shirt? I do.

Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like sixth grade. So at first, like, LeBron is standing up for this kid, and people are inviting him to their games. Yeah. So what you're referring to is what we in internet language call a milkshake duck. A what? What's that?

A milkshake duck because there was a comedian who once tweeted out basically, hey, the internet's falling in love with milkshake duck because it's awesome. Ducks are cute. You love milkshakes. Look at this duck drinking a milkshake. Everyone loves the milkshake duck and then it's we regret to inform you the next day like milkshake duck is racist yeah okay and so that's just that's what happened to the thousand times the mom of the kid the ham kid his mom was like a super super racist post that sort of thing yeah and then lebron had

to back out when i was a kid if you got like milk and ham poured down your shirt, you'd be like, well, I'm just going to carry this around with me. This is going to be one of my secrets that I'll tell somebody when I'm much older or therapist. And now, if you get milk and ham poured down your shirt, you'd stand up and go like, tell everybody. Yeah. No, tell everybody.

Mom is like, we could go. Mom puts it online, and it gets tons of support until then we go search all the other mom posts and it's like, oh, okay. Who did more damage? Like the bully or the mom? Well, I mean, yeah, only the therapist will be able to tell in a couple of decades. Well, so now we're going to go search. Well, what about the guy that's videoing? Let's go search his history.

The husband? well what about the guy that's videoing let's go search uh his history the husband well now they're just calling him an influencer who did this on purpose to go viral ah um one charge is that he knew this would happen so he allowed his girl to be a piñata for aggressive drunk men at event to film to go viral for clicks and likes uh his name is alex bassara and in fact the reason he was at the game is because he set up a gofundme for some of his followers i guess he's a pretty low level youtube uh instagram. Okay. Very low level based on the seats. Who put together a GoFundMe to be able to go to this game. And he put on his GoFundMe, My name is Alex, but you may know me as Bassaroski Productions on YouTube. Or simply, just Bass.

B-A-S. Bass man. The Packers-S. Bass, man. The Packers are heading to playoffs, going to Philly next Sunday to take on the number two seed Eagles. Things are gloomy right now in Packers fandom, but this one thing is certain. I'm still confident. I believe in this team. Let's see.

I ask of you, the fans, send me to Philly. Send me into the belly of the beast. I've done it multiple times, repping the Packers proud. I'm fully ready to do it again. I've been cursed at, had stuff thrown at me, and even my first ever cheese head ripped off my head and thrown into a fire bin while supporting my team in Philly, but I'm sure as hell not scared to do it again.

Okay, hold on. That rules. The Eagles fan is like knocks the cheese head off his head and throws it into a fire in the parking lot. And nobody cared about that. No. No, nobody cared about that. And yes, then the tweet that he put out is,

he put out that video that we watched and listened to, what it's like going into Philly just to root for your team. Unprovoked, uncalled for, Packers Twitter, help me out. Find this guy. This is not okay. I hate that my fiance had this happen simply for cheering for her team and yes now

calls are to release the full video I mean it's worked really well for Alex even if he's called out as an influencer who just staged this because now maybe he can string this along and maybe he can string this along

and maybe he will release the whole video and more people will tune in to his thing, right? Yeah, it's not what I would call a small channel. His vlog, like 60K. These aren't doing terrible. His vlog from that game. Oh, no, that's not from that game. He hasn't put one up from that game yet.

But he's averaging 10 plus thousand views. My thought is I've always wanted to go to an Eagles game, a Cowboys-Eagles game, and I would wear a Dez jersey, but I understand what's going on. I'm not going to be upset about it

if somebody is... I'll have fun with it. I've always wanted to do that, but of, I also secretly wish I was an Eagles fan. It probably would be more fun, wouldn't it? Yeah, I think so. I think my energy matches theirs much more. The antagonistic people, though, or it's like where that's like,

you know, you're asking for trouble. Yeah, I would not. I don't think I'd be loud like I would maybe at a home game. I've been antagonistic at home. I was thinking about that the other day. We talked about this, I think, but one of the first sporting events I went to with my wife

was a Cowboys-Giants game. Do you guys remember Victor Cruz and the salsa? Oh, yeah. I was hitting that salsa right in front of every Giants fan on the way out. It was a beat down and I was really feeling it. Night game, hammered, obviously, and just every guy who was beaten

down, who looked like Dom. And she married you. Hey. She knew. It's that hog. Yeah, it's that hog. It's all about my penis. We're going to drug test it. We're going to drug test it. We will drug test this hog in the future. I was just all about my penis I think we can overcome any Other shortcomings that he's had We're going to drug test it

We will drug test this hog in the future But as for right now Alright well there's a little Today in Twitter for you Oh we even have a close And that was Today in Twitter That's fun That is fun

Should we stick with football and do a little cowboy stuff? Yeah. Yeah, things are happening. You want to bring this to us by OwnWell? Did we say that? It's brought to you by OwnWell. Do you want to bring this to us by OwnWell? You could do it however you want.

What OwnWell is going to do is help you save money, particularly on your property taxes. 86% of their customers receive a reduction. This is like the good kind of reduction. You know what I mean? Not like the punky Brewster kind? Yeah, right. The slap in the face to God.

Yeah. Not OwnWell. 86% of you receive a reduction. Oh, no. And that's the only way you pay. And even when you do pay, you're going to get a better rate than you would at other places. Blake's used OwnWell.

I signed up the other night. I'm going through the process right now. It's very, very simple. And they're even saving Blake money on his phone bill. Yeah, they'll do more than just property tax bills. But Jake, property tax bills in Texas do at the end of the month. So that's what they're trying to cater to. So sign up in under three minutes. It's free. They only take what they save you. So it's seriously no risk at all. Ownwell.com slash the dumb zone. Thank you, Blake. And thank you, Ownwell.

Yeah, so I guess a couple Cowboys news of the day things. Were you like a Cowboy fan growing up or anything? Yeah, for sure. Okay, so you have fond Dion memories. Oh, yeah. Let's start with ed werder's tweet this morning because everybody's doing the like dion does not have an official interview uh robert sala will be interviewed this weekend

and then leslie frazier who's a guy you might have forgot about see the new marvin lewis will be interviewed dude i was going to talk about this because I went to his Wikipedia page. He's currently the assistant head coach of the Seahawks. Usually an assistant head coach is also the special teams coach or OCDC. He is the assistant head coach. If you look at his interview page, like the teams that have interviewed him, he has his own potential return to head coaching page because he's not been a head coach since 2013. He's been interviewed like seven times.

Who was he the head coach of? The Vikings. Oh, okay. For a couple years. And he's been a DC since then, but he's been interviewed by, let's see. So the 65-year-old black guy, you don't think they're actually really interested? The Giants, the Bears, and now the Cowboys.

And I actually didn't know this, like changes to the Rooney rule. You have to interview two minority candidates for head coaching in, I believe, GM positions. I did that. Salah's one, right? I knew that because

the New England did that right away. Knock it out. Byron Lefwich and somebody else. I can't remember who. So that's... Before officially hiring Vrabel. So maybe Salah and Leslie Frazier both kind of, because Salah is Lebanese, certainly a minority.

Why wouldn't Dion be one? Well, Dion's not in an official interview yet, so who knows if that's happening. He will. He probably will, but I feel like it's either going to be he's hired or they don't talk. I don't see a situation where they interview him and it doesn't happen. I don't know, because where they interview him and it doesn't happen. I don't know because

I was thinking about that too. I feel like an interview is beneficial for both parties, even if both parties know it's never going to happen. Dion loves hype. He loves to be in the news. He loves to be talked about. And it also might have Colorado toss

a little bit, another year or two on that deal or something. You know how that works in college football. Yeah, it does. I just wonder how far it can go in Colorado. It's one thing if you're Nick Saban. Yeah, but I mean, what were they making three years ago compared to today? So Ed Werger's tweet is, Regarding Deion Sanders, I'm being told that he would almost certainly accept

if Jerry Jones offers to make him the next head coach and that those around him are encouraging him to pursue it and that Jones is enamored with the idea. It's going to make our losses that much more embarrassing, you know, because it just creates all the hype. I just wish we would do. When you win, though. When you win, though.

And you've got Deion and he's just talking his shit. I do like his beard. I do like his beard. Dude, he's like you've got Deion, and he's just talking his shit. I do like his beard. I do like his beard. Dude, he's like Grizzle Deion now. He's got half a foot. He's got a gray beard. I mean, I am a big fan of the CEO coach, you know, the culture. You see Harbaugh comes into San Diego this year.

Harbaugh, not a scheme guy. Talk to anybody who's ever played or worked for him. You're right. It's not like he's in there installing the plays. Yeah, culture versus scheme is a big thing. Dan Campbell's so much fun. Yeah. And Dan Campbell's that guy, too.

He's that guy for sure. But let's have really good assistants around you. Deion is never going to be a, I have to call the plays, I'm the defensive coordinator, the offensive coordinator. I mean, that's what he is. Yeah. He is the CEO head coach. He's got a good relationship with Mike Zimmer.

I don't know if Mike Zimmer is still going to be around. Well, so that's another. But he's also got a really good relationship with a lot of ex-players, and you might bring them in like Dan Campbell did. Dan Campbell, just all ex-players are his coaches. It was laughed at at the time. Very much so. So here's the wild part.

So you've got Deion over here. The wild part was watching Dan Quinn win that playoff game. That was the wild part and realizing what a bunch of idiots. And Kellen Moore is the OC for the Eagles. I mean, I always loved Kellen Moore. I know that it got a little bit stale at the end, but apparently they've requested to interview him as well. But there's another guy, and I saw Jane Slater on NFL Network

talking about this. Oh, you're going to have to pull me up here real quick. One name I didn't want to necessarily throw out yesterday, Mike and Tom, was Jason Witten. It's been my understanding that Jerry has talked to Jason in recent weeks, and I do believe that he was part of a plan that Jerry initially had when he was going to bring back Mike McCarthy. I think the plan there was to make him an heir apparent of sorts.

Mike McCarthy sort of surprised him by deciding that he wanted to end these conversations, pursue something else. We can call them negotiations, contracts, conversations, whatever you want to call them. Now we'll see if Jason Witten will still be in play here. I just don't know if that would be in a head coach role, but I do believe that he thinks very strongly of Jason Witten and his future as a coach. I just don't know in what capacity that would look like. So you take that and then you have more from Edwarder. I believe there is a very high probability that depending

upon whom is hired as head coach, that Witten will be included in the staff. There were scenarios discussed with McCarthy when he was hired where that could have happened, but McCarthy was understandably concerned. Basically, they wanted to Wade and Garrett Cuck him, you know? Perhaps remembering how Wade Phillips inherited Jason Garrett, who eventually replaced him. So I've also heard this from a couple other people now, that Witten is going to be here.

The idea definitely was to have McCarthy with Witten. I love that Dan Campbell is creating clones now. We need another white tight end. For a while it was just like the Cliff Wave or whatever. It was all hot guys. It was?

Sean McVay and LeFleur and Stefanski. they were all white guys who had kind of my haircut and were like a d3 slot receiver jake is saying he's hot yeah i said my haircut yeah i said my haircut they don't look like they've other than mike mcdaniel they all kind of look like me yeah about all the hot guys in the mean? I was a receiver, so. No, but maybe the Campbell will be a trend. I don't know.

But what is Jason Witten going to do if he works here and he's not the head coach? Well. What was he going to do for Mike McCarthy? And how the hell would Mike McCarthy be like, yeah, this is great. Why don't we bring in the new Mr. Cowboy? No, I think the one-star cowboy guys, the podcast guys mentioned this too,

the whole they could Wade and Garrett him with the knowledge of the Wade that maybe you slide Mike Zimmer over in between the pipes. Yeah. He's the head coach knowing that Jason Witten is the head coach in waiting. Does that happen in the NFL? It did here. Although Wade didn't really know, but Wade knew he was on a little tour,

a little fun bit that he was doing for a couple years. Feels like that's college. I don't know. Maybe it was them too. I heard somebody mention that the Rangers already have that set up. Yeah, Skip Shoemaker is the former, of course we know him, is the Marlins manager who was fired this year. When I heard that, I was like, oh, that's a guy who exists.

Yeah. I didn't know that. But, man, I'm starting to feel like it's going to be Deion or Prime. Or excuse me, Deion or Witten. I was thinking a lot about your family business chat because I think it's very accurate. And as Jerry is aging, I think he's losing a little bit of his fastball for capturing the headlines.

So if he did want to keep the Cowboys in the spotlight without it being himself, Deion would be a great candidate for that. That way, Stephen and Charlotte and Jerry Jr. don't have to do the same circus he does. You got your coach to do that. Wise man right there. Then the... If you're putting together

the breadcrumbs or whatever, connecting the dots, whatever. Jerry was on the fan this past fall, and they were asking him about Deion being a head coach, and he might have given you a clue on why he doesn't see him as an NFL head coach. Well, I would say how much I'm in the camp for the success of Deion and how he has become the coach that he is today. It's not surprising.

He's as great an athlete and a real great one. He's just as much a person and just as much a got the kind of energy and he just would jump out at you as someone that young men would be inspired by and be led by and uh of course he's got an outstanding boy there and and uh is going to go extremely high in the draft it is is his son, so you're allowed to say that, I think. But I think we're way ahead of ourselves relative to when and if he decides to go into coaching in the NFL. And one of his greatest skills that he really brings to college is that he almost has no peer as far as being a recruiter and I mean the kids want to come play for him and they want to and he has a way of selling that and

that is one skill that recruiting skill that is not a huge prerequisite for NFL coaches. Yeah, we talked about that a little bit at the time, and there's something to it. There's something to it, like that's in Jerry's head. You're good in college because you can recruit, but you couldn't do that here. You think it's hard to change Jerry's mind? I don't think it would be hard for Dion to change his mind.

Yeah, now I was going to say, you get in a room together, and Dion's like, look, I'm going to bring in the best coordinators. I'm going to bring in the best this and that. We can speak to these kids. I know their language. I'll relate to Micah. I'll relate to, you know. Yeah.

I just can't see a scenario where Witten and Dion work together. No. That feels no chance. Because I enjoyed our dealings with Jason Witten for the most part. There were a couple times where, you know, they would lose and he would just ghost us the next day. Yeah. But I think, I don't know how to say this because i wasn't there but i think he was like a little bit more of a hard ass uh bordering on a hole yeah in the room

than people think he's got a real dry cheeseburger vibe to him you know what i mean like no sauce no sauce i just think he was you know whether, whether it's, you know, people might say, like, what, are you going to take Marty B's word for it? But, like, Marty B made it seem like Witten was very intent on, like, uh-uh, you're not taking anything from me. Like Farvin Aaron Rodgers type thing. And he's a nice guy, but I also think he's a little bit crazy. And I guess I also think that about Dion, so I don't know that they would work together at all.

So it's probably either Dion comes in and he's hiring coordinators or someone else is the head coach like Mike Zimmer or Leslie Frazier, I guess, and they have Witten foisted upon them, which always works. Right, but it's a very Cowboys thing to do. Very much, yeah. So, yeah, I feel like it's going to be one of much. Yeah. So it's yeah. I feel like it's going to be one of those two now.

Which is crazy. I feel like I want Dion only because whatever. You know? Right? Just give me a show. Give me a show to watch because it's either going to be terrible or a show to watch. I mean would you want, let's say he said I want Ben Johnson.

Would that really excite you? Yeah. It would excite me. That would scratch the itch of fan and media person, I guess, that I would like. Because they run crazy-ass plays. That's fun. Every week, oh, look,

the fat guy threw the ball. That would be enough for me. If you're Ben Johnson and you have the choice of all the jobs that are open, what are you taking? I don't know. Did you hear Troy talking about this the other day? He was on pregame on Monday Night Football, and Scott Van Pelt's like, it's a top-five job.

Oh, as far as like the – yeah, he was downplaying. Troy said, I don't know about that. I was about to say the same thing. Is this a place you want to come anymore? Yeah, that's the thing. Now, there's only six jobs, and I think that's probably about average. You maybe could sell me on like Jacksonville being better just because. Well, it depends what you think of Trevor Lawrence.

Yeah. As far as you would have more power although they did keep their gm who has been responsible for they did but i also watched their end of season uh little press conference clips and their dastardly indian owner or i can't recall he looks like arthur blank but from the subcontinent i feel like he's up to a little crime. I don't know what Alibaba is, but I'm pretty sure if you're like, this guy owns it, I bet he has for sure. He said in that, with Trent Balke,

the GM on the call, somebody asked about, hey, who's going to be in charge? He's like, I want the coach to be in charge. They're like, well, what if they wanted the GM fired? He's like, that's something we'd look at. Wow, okay. So who knows, but I definitely would still take

Trevor Lawrence over Dak. No, the question is Trevor Lawrence over Caleb. If he had his choice of those jobs. Yeah, that's true. It feels like Mike McCarthy is going to New Orleans. If you are just to look at everybody and where he might land

only because Chicago, I think, really wants Ben Johnson. Now, does Ben Johnson not choose Chicago? Don't know. Because I could also – we put together McCarthy in Chicago before the season was over. I know, based on just him looking like sausage. He looks like sausage, and he has ushered a couple of young quarterbacks into. Sure.

Caleb's also a big Aaron Rodgers guy. Is he? Yeah. Like they're similar? He talks about him a lot. Yeah. So I could see that. You got the Packers rivalry, but just back to the Cowboys.

I can't believe that they did this this way again. McCarthy got flown to Chicago yesterday. They asked to interview him a week ago. And Jerry's like, well, look, it's in the contract. You can only talk to me. I think at that time he really thought he was going to get him an incentive-laden contract. Does he just think this every time? Yeah, he thinks he goes into it?

Yeah, he thinks he can sweet-talk anybody. I guess it's like Dan's rule on office place harassment. It's worked enough. Here, take this two-year deal. Take this incentive-based contract. Take Jason Witten on your staff. Take this play caller. Yeah. I think Jerry's treating the team the same way we do now,

where it's like, who gives a shit? You know, like, I'm tired of watching it too. Imagine this year watching the Cowboys felt like a punishment. If somebody told me, they're like, hey, you've got to sit down and watch this for three hours and hope something good happens. It would be a punishment. Yeah. That's how it feels.

I would have skipped several of the games for better games had it not been my commitment to my craft. One more Cowboy thing. I have one more also. Oh, go ahead. Well, speaking of Jerry. Mine was going to ask you about, I didn't know what you thought of the, or I thought you had some Micah audio or something.

The Micah stuff is just, it's not even worth playing. Okay. He only spends about three minutes on the Cowboys, and he just, he's like, hey, the only thing I was going to tell you guys about, and I didn't pull, it was like, I should be involved in these conversations. Oh, really? As far as the defense. Oh, God.

He's like, hopefully I've gotten to a level where I will get that kind of treatment. That, you know, the type of players that I want to play with and the type of coordinator that I want to play with. Oh, GM now. Yeah. Okay. Like, dude, we'll give you a good parking spot, but like, relax. Should every good player have a podcast now? Yes. Dude, and and we've heard i've seen these good clips i'm like this

is terrible yeah his is really bad it's funny because it's micah but his his takes we could probably pull one up but it basically sounds like jayden daniels man bro bro bro like on god Man. Bro. That's right, bro. Bro. Like, on God, bro, rookie of the year. He doesn't really say anything. And then he'll get Trayvon Diggs on, who is an energy vampire. Yeah. He hasn't criticized anyone, but you have to read between the lines, and he never praises Dak. No, he'll rank, like, the top 10 QBs, and he'll get to 12.

Like, maybe 10's not enough, and Dak never comes up. I've also heard Dak hates it, that he has the show. I'm sure he does. I hate that he has the show, and I don't even listen to it. The one thing I was going to play real quick was just this. You've seen these AI sports press conferences that are really popular now. They're mostly just not good. And I know that they're going to get better.

But I listened to this, and I just wanted us to at least get a one-up on the robots for now because this had like 4,000 retweets. I just don't think it's that good. Is this a Jerry thing? Yeah. Okay. I saw people talking about it, but I didn't even click on them. Yeah, let's see.

Oh, it's a Perkins menu. Oh, no. I fired Mike McCarthy because he looks like a fucking pork chop. And I hate that big-ass play call sheet he holds during games. We all know it's a Perkins menu. I'm not even sure we need a coach. So, like, the writing is not bad, but the voice is not even close to me. Like the inflection.

Hell, maybe we already have a coach in mind. Maybe. He sounds like John Wayne. You know what I mean? It doesn't sound like Jerry to me. Half drunk on Johnny Walker Blue with only an egg McMuffin in his belly and a pocket full of Dinger pills. Maybe he's 82 fucking years old and needs his ass wiped from time to time depending on how much...

Blake apparently likes it. It's the overcuts. This is really probably the only punchline. How many shares? How many tweets? I'm telling you, it had 4,000 retweets. It was everywhere.

It was on Instagram, Reddit. So that means 200,000. As somebody who has to put stuff out on social media, sometimes I'll see a clip and what it is. I'm like, I know. I got like 200 on my last clip, and I thought it was going to just. I know. I feel you, bro.

Yeah. They're suppressing you. There. What's up with Elon, man? Elon. I feel weird, too. I know there's another. I will not use a name.

But a comedian that I used to interact with more often locally, he will tweet a lot of stuff that is supposed to be a joke. And I'm like, Bill, that's what the writing room is for? Not every thought that you think is funny should be tweeted. And I'll go back and look at it. It has three likes. So it's like it didn't even really do numbers to, like you said, it could be bad and do numbers. And you're like, well, at least I got that out of it. But it's like it didn't even really do numbers to like you said it could be bad and do numbers

and you're like well at least i got that out of it yeah but it's like the structure of a joke and i'm like that's not very funny and no one laughed i never like anytime i think like the last clip i put up which was probably two weeks it was like one of my new bits and i was so proud of it and i felt like it was like relevant and i was like oh this is gonna and i rarely think this was like this is gonna do great Just did almost nothing. Yeah. You know, and then the clip where you're like, I don't even like this one. And you throw it on there and it just takes off. But it sounds like you're kind of judicious about it.

This guy I'm speaking of will tweet three jokes a day. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't think you have one this week that you should keep. I forget to promote myself often. Hello. Every Thursday we do this. We get email every day. Almost.

Is that a brag? Hey, look. Who doesn't get email? It's a day of brags. These guys have email addresses too. It's not just mine, but you can go to, what is it? The Thursday Viewer Mail Follow-Up extravaganza inclement fossil thing. No. Dumbzone.com.

Lists our email address somewhere in there? I think so. No I know so because I again homo brag. Homo brag? Yeah homo brag. I probably get two a day

of somebody who does not listen to our show But found my email and is like I'm an alcoholic Or my son Something like that And they'll be like I found your email on the website Like the email

Indicates you're an alcoholic I think they probably heard through the grapevine Alcohol.com What makes you want to have a drink the most? I honestly don't have that desire right now. Oh, yeah? I swear to God I don't. The one thing I will tell you is when the weather got really cold and it was like snowing,

that was the first time I was like, damn, like a glass of brown would be nice. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Weather changes are, I think that's a common thing. Do you ever like, oh, it's spring, where's my needle? Do you ever get that? No, no. There are certain. There are certain. The birds are chirping.

There are certain cleaning supplies. Dude, I heard that at rehab. Yeah, there are certain cleaning supplies. I'll just be walking down the hallway at like a random building and just get a whiff of like, I don't know, whatever cleaner they use. And I'm like, that's that's definitely what my stuff was made with. Good stuff. Dude, there was one of the one of which is weird like some fabuloso just hit you sideways one of the therapists there who was she had done meth for 20 plus years uh like you know they're making like the the you're triggering items yeah upon leaving and for her and every person who was

into meth there agreed it was power tools power tools yeah she was like i can't like certain types of drills i don't know what they were doing with it if it was the the heat like if you're drilling or something but they were they were everybody was like yeah i can't go to home depot god i used to buy from a guy and he was like redoing his apartment and i don't even think like redoing his apartment in ways that i don't think you're allowed to like redo like you can't just like knock down a wall in like a rented apartment do you know what i mean oh yeah it was a one bedroom but now it's two i was like i don't think you're allowed to do any of this construction but now that i uh now i remember yeah he was doing a lot of it took down a load-bearing wall yeah open concept and i was messed up enough that i

was just like man you're pretty good at this stuff yeah you know i got a text for you rob enough that I was just like, man, you're pretty good at this stuff. I got a text for you, Rob. If you'd like to look at the text and stuff. It's a picture of my wiener. Oh! Viewer mail is... Zoom way in.

Load 4K. Tap load 4K. Rivian is bringing us viewer mail today. Their grand opening is Wednesday. The 29th. Wednesday? Yeah. We're going to do a little biz that day. We're doing a stream on Wednesday?

Yeah. A noon to three Wednesday stream on the 29th of January, 3010 Knox Street. You can explore Rivian's all electric vehicles, including trucks and SUVs. Very, very dope.

Visitors can browse materials and colors. Wow. Like they're allowing you. I'm allowed to look at the different colors. Some places would be like, eh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. You could sit in the vehicles and take a test drive.

Yeah, they're very, very cool. That's, yeah, my wife was talking about them the other day. She's heard a lot about Rivian. Uptown Knox Street, normally just white, but there's going to be multiple colors. Multiple colors. So many colors. Thank you. Yeah, so that's our next thing, public appearance.

So what do we got on the mail? Let's see. I have story time, which starts out, Dear Clit Commander. Of course it does. I had to create an anonymous burner hotmail account for this story. I wanted to share it with the class. Oh, yeah.

He says, A few months back, I decided to visit a local escort for a roll in the hay. Interested. What are you, my local escort for a roll in the hay. Interested? What are you, my uncle? Roll in the hay? I wonder how long that- It's a very high fluent way to say prostitute. Yeah, that was all very good.

Yeah. I wonder how often that happens. What? The escort game. Is that good? It's extremely popular. As strong as ever? It's got to be.

How's the economy doing? Good? Then yeah. I went to her hotel, sat down for small talk. We got down to business at hand. We're proceeding nicely. We get into it so quickly that the TV remained on. Okay.

I love it. He's like, I'll fucking escort, but not with the TV on. I mean, I'm distracted. What was on it? Okay, go ahead. When I got there, apparently she had been watching Family Feud. Not my favorite show. Steve Harvey, kind of annoying.

But not enough to really distract me. Prostitution! So I just fought through it. I'm not one who will let Steve Harvey ruin a good time. Then I encountered a problem. The next show on Channel 27. I was just about to say. What comes on after Family Feud?

Was the Dumb Zone. Oh, okay. All right. DZ TV. God, just mid-stroke and thinking I'm going to have to. The short of it here is. It seems his big complaint here is he doesn't like Caitlin's theme song. Well, not for that.

He said if it was the old bad radio open or the Mark Robbier hang zone open, they would have helped hype me up. Well, you'd finish too soon. He said it would have either made me finish quick or given me the power to go the full hour. Ow. But he ended up having to turn off the TV. He didn't want to watch us

talking about Najee Marshall or something. That's awesome. That's great. We have another Roseanne. Are you aware of the Roseanne bit? I don't know, but are these going to get better? Because that was great. It seems like that should have been the closer. It's a comic that seems like the closer

of the email. We'll see. Everybody's a critic. I saw this guy bomb on a closer. He had to come up with another closer out of the air. You saw me maneuver well. You did maneuver well, but I knew you had a closer. It didn't go, and then I saw you scramble to pull another closer out of your back pocket. Well, let's see you do the same, Dan.

The Roseanne list is essentially just kind of amorphous, nebulous. But I think that Roseanne, not new Roseanne, but Roseanne of the 80s and 90s, very specific look. And I see a lot of women who have that exact same look. My grandma, for example, was a Roseanne. Steve Bannon of the Republican Party fame, that guy's a Roseanne. Steve Bannon of the Republican Party fame, that guy's a Roseanne. Yeah. Travis Tritt, I believe I saw him at a festival.

That guy right there, that guy looks like Roseanne. Yeah, looks like a closet. He's just got a wallet full of Kohl's cash. A gift card for Kohl's for sure. You get it. Back pocket. Well, Adrian sent an email. Here's the Adrian email where he says,

Dear Ham Wallet Tenderizer, Can a Rolling Stone be a Roseanne? And apparently this is Mick Taylor. You see that picture there? Mick Taylor. Yeah, I'm looking at one right now where that's pretty Roseanne-ish. Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah.

You got to have the jowls. And also, like, the hair helps because, like, that's pretty Roseanne-ish. Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah. You got to have the jowls. And also, like, the hair helps because, like, that's her hair. It's just lesbian hair for the most part, right? I like a butch man. Yeah. He says, as of now. That one is the one I'm talking about. Oh, my goodness.

That's Roseanne. He says, this is the year of Jake. If Jerry hires Cliff, it's no longer in doubt. More VJ Boyd and Bayless from Adrian, day one. Thank you, Adrian. Let's see. I have, hey, fellas, Stu here, the guy in the den last Monday, talking too much about Texas A&M's mascot and trying to change it.

I know Dan likes biz, so I will share some metrics since we chatted. 555 unique visits to makerevamuttagain.com since we talked about it. You remember this guy? Not only do I remember this guy, I am anxiously awaiting my t-shirt. Okay. I bought one. So apparently Reve- I can't say the name of the dog. Reveley?

The dog for A&M used to be a mutt, and now it's like a collie. And the last whatever of them have been collies. But he says this all started, it was a mutt. And so he's on makerevamuttagain.com 35 new signatures on the petition and six new orders from the merch store. Maybe one of those is yours. I would have mine after this.

Okay. Upon his email. He says, see you all at the Rivian space in Dallas on the 29th. Is Stu part of Rivian? Yes. He's the reason we're there.

Oh, okay. 35 signatures. Going strong. The purebred dog thing is weird, right? I mean, I know it fits like modern life, but they do get a lot of diseases, don't they? Yeah. Mutts are the strongest.

Like inbred type thing? Yeah. Yeah. diseases. Don't they? Mutts are the strongest. Like inbred type thing? Yeah.

Oh, this is from a gay listener. We were talking. Was it last week? About like if dudes, like gay dudes, are there gay dudes that like go to sporting events together? Yeah. Yeah. Like they're both just bros. Right. like gay dudes are there gay dudes that like go to sporting events together and yeah yeah like the like they're both just bros and right there's no uh flannel guy there's no like design guy it's

like if we were gay it'd be great because then yeah we watch games and right like we share all the same interests yeah and we would not argue like we're we talk a lot and we don't argue all that much and so my thought also is, again... If we have some sex, that'd be great. If it pops up... I was thinking the same thing. Why don't we go get some drinks, a cigar after? Where do gay guys

go to just look at other men? Guys go to Hooters. I guess you can just... Do the gay guys also go to Hooters? They go to DZTV. DZTV, yeah. My thought was that you would always be awesome at games, even like pick-up basketball. You always know what each other want.

You're used to that, so you're just vibing. So this guy says, this is in regards to the conversation about gay couples and their seemingly indifferent attitudes towards sports. Oh, okay. Maybe that was what we were talking about. It's weird that they're dudes, but they don't like sports.

My long-term partner and I met in hockey. Our first date was a Stars game and we celebrate our anniversary at a Ranger game every year. He's a former goalie. This is the hottest thing I've ever heard in my life. Currently a hockey referee and I

work in game presentation for a professional team up north. That's phenomenal. Basically, the key to our relationship is that outside the bedroom, we're basically lifelong friends who share a love of sport. Unfortunately, hockey still isn't very accepting beyond the most surface level of tolerance, and being out would be career suicide for us both. For the most part, you're right. I found very few gay men like us. We are there, though, and we're both listeners. Dude, that rocks.

From your anonymous friend. That's very, very cool. That guy's life sounds great. It is weird that the guy that's, like, being in an escort and the gay couple that worked for the stars, like, had to do the same thing. Like, hey, we got to keep this anonymous. Society looks at these exactly the same. That's a cool deal.

Good for them. Uncle Hotmail, I have a monthly Blake review. This could be my last one. I'm losing momentum. Blake does an MBR, a monthly business review for our whole show, but he never brings up anything that he did for the month. I like to bring up the important matters. Yeah.

So Jack brings up a few things, and I actually pared it down. You sure? This was Jack? No, this is a different Jack. Okay. You see how Jack is our answer? You don't own every Jack. Yeah, he was going to fire the answer.

Was Jack popping off? Making sure it's a semester's turn. It might be time to end Jack, but okay. On December 3rd, he said, what'd he say? Something about

a daughter, whose daughter began speaking in a British accent because of watching too much Peppa Pig? Yeah, it was my buddy. A buddy. Okay. A buddy whose daughter. He said, That was a tough look.

How will I recover? You know who George Burns is? Wait, George Burns? Yeah, how old are you? I think I've seen him at a wax museum. Okay. He was just the standard old guy. He was an old comedian.

He was an old culture, entertainment. Yeah, I've seen him at a wax museum. He thought, and I imagine this is actually pretty common for people his age, George Burns, Mr. Burns, also very old, probably the same person. Ah, okay. I forgive you, Blake. Thanks. You're welcome.

Blake's time capsule on the 6th. Blake assumes he won't ever have to experience a finger in the bottom rectal exam because some technology will be invented before he turns 45. Yeah. That's a great way to look at the world. I don't think it's crazy. I just, I don't think medicine will get better

by the time. Why aren't we still doing this? Yeah, right. Like the guy that piss-tested me at the probation that had to take a knee and watch people pee, always think like what did he tell people he does after work yeah at the bar like wait i'm in forensics it does feel pretty like what do you say pretty old school i was actually i tweeted about this the other day with like radio ratings how funny they are and uh our buddy fits replied like yeah just like let's get the list of things that are just – we still do it that way? For me, as I've said before, I think the fact that we still use signatures is weird.

How don't you write that down the same way you always have? Make sure it's pretty close to the same way you always have so we can know it's you. That's just a weird – But most of them don't matter anymore. You write a line at the grocery store, right? I know, but why even put it there? What is this performative thing? That is cute.

Yeah, that is true. It's really weird. And then Fitz's was. Oh, you're getting my autograph. Yeah. All right, yeah. This is certainly pertinent today that if you wreck your car drunk, they're like, you can keep driving, but you got to blow in this.

This is the best we have. People got to get where they got to get. This is the best thing we have to do is like blow in there. You can't just have somebody else blow in there. I don't know how that works, actually. Well, you could blow something and I'll let you keep driving. Hell yeah, man. You guys get it?

My wiener, I was going to say, like saying like if i was a cop then i would do that yep oh uh blake's rules for brooks blake has a two-year-old boy three three now me too all right everybody's got a three-year-old boy but me. But the night is young. On the 3rd of December, he says, Brooks is not allowed to watch any shows that have accents. I don't hate that, actually. That was the Peppa Pig thing. Yeah, my buddy's daughter came home with a,

or watched enough Peppa Pig to where she was speaking in a British accent. So you've banned it now? And that worried me. So Brooks is not allowed to watch Peppa Pig. I don't hate that. He said Brooks is not allowed to watch Christmas content outside the month of December. That's really weird. Some things just need to remain special. Okay.

I kind of like that as well. He's not watching Elf in June. You can watch Elf in December. So if today he's like, I'd like one more run at Charlie Brown. We already put it up in the edit. Yeah. Lucium. Up with his Halloween books.

That'll come out in October. There's a time for these things. And he said on the 19th of December, Brooks lost his screen time because he was afraid of Santa. Yeah. That one's been haunting, Blake. I mean, what did Santa do to him? Appeared. Yeah.

You know how kids cry when they see Santa? Yeah. And clam up and whatever? Yeah. Well, he punished his kid for doing that. I took my kid to see Santa at a Bass Pro Shop. Okay. Yeah, and then there was a fire alarm and everybody had to exit.

And me and my son had been waiting in line for a long time to where I was pretty frustrated by it. And we're all out in the parking lot, and I went over to Santa. I'm holding my son, and I turn around, and I just got a selfie. And he looked at me like – I have a picture of a Santa looking at me like, we're not inside anymore, man. I'm just a guy out here. And I was like, whatever, dude.

We got you. And we left. And I was like, I got the picture. I got the picture. Yeah. Don't care about a fire. A couple more general notes on the second. Blake's wife walked in on him lying on the ground in a happy baby pose,

putting gold bond on his junk. Yeah. I didn't want to waste any. Yeah. I don't know why you looked at me when you said that. It felt so aggressive. I feel like I'm trying to defend myself to you. I'll just keep my thoughts over here.

And on the 13th, Blake said that he would love to tell someone it's on a need-to-know basis. That is a good one. Yeah. That is a good one. That's baller. Yeah. Have you guys ever thought about shaving your taint?

I mean, don't you do the... Is that our business? You don't do the beard trimmer down there? In between your legs? I mean, try to get it all over. I'm not against it, so you don't have to be sheepish. I'm asking. I've never tried it.

I try to get it all over in there, but we're not using a razor or anything. I've been single for so long that if I'm just going to – I went and I had drinks with an old friend last night. But I feel like if I shave down there, there's something cocky about it there is like oh yeah it's on yeah like and i'm not but i'm also trying to be polite you know what i mean like if something were you know i'm very alone this doesn't happen a lot um but there is something that's a little too hopeful for me yeah i could see that i just i've never've never gone down in the region. No, no.

And then, let's see, just a couple more here. Regarding a car wrap, we were talking about wouldn't it be cool if somebody wrapped their vehicle with Dumb Zone, like the QR code and stuff. I love it. And you could subscribe, or maybe it just takes you to our YouTube page. I don't know. Somebody's got to do it. Will, this may be Wire Will, said, I won't do a car wrap.

They're a pain to put on and off and can be expensive, but a large magnetic promo for the car? Count me in. Like the big... I had a big Grapevine Ford Magnet they once gave me years ago. Yeah, I... I used it for a day. I appreciate Will's offer.

I think we'll take it if it's, you know, it's kind of an OBO thing. If somebody else... And we'll cover the wrap, right? Alec says, greetings, Captain of the Juice Wallet. I have some cars that already turned some heads. I'd be very open to having a dumb zone rap on it. Well, that seems like a better offer. While I'm here, I might as well mention that KT's voice is boring

and puts me to sleep and Jake pukes a lot. Why did you have to read that? I don't know. It's in the email. Yeah, but you... Kempspin.com is flagged at my place of work for gambling. Do with that what you will. No.

Well, since he's a guy that said he would wrap his car with our thing. Oh, okay. You just get him to read what he doesn't like about our friends? If he wants to bag on someone, yeah. Oh, yeah. Make fun of Blake and the way he parents is fine but Katie oh god forbid we've not mock his voice I supported never mocked anyone's voice on the show I don't do that that's him I I don't wait what you're make fun of his

voice guy okay everyone has made fun of his voice I feel like he's we're just dragging people down there you There you go, buddy. Give me some earbuds. Yeah. Some people's voices are terrible. Blake's a good dude. Blake knows what's up. And Drop Beth found something for us.

We've been debating. Did Jake ever say that he would rather have Dak Prescott over Lamar Jackson, two-time league MVP? It's really not a debate. You told me I said it, and I immediately said I probably said that. We have video, which also has audio. This is from Thursday. Were we in Cleveland on Thursday? Yeah.

Oh, no, this is from Friday, 9-6, in Cleveland. Okay. Yeah. Oh, no. This is from Friday 9-6 in Cleveland. Okay. Yeah. But he might suck. Man, that's too bad. You know who sucks? Lamar. We skated on that

today. I mean, I won a bunch of money, but I looked it up this morning and it was not to do like hardcore sports talk at the end of the show it was 1.5 average uh depth of target yeah really yeah 1.5 yard yeah well there's a ton of times where he runs backwards and then throws the ball behind the

line of scrimmage and it erases eight to ten yards every time he does it. I'm done with him, dude. I'm done. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Would you trade Dak for him today? No. Interesting. Two-time MVP. Ask him on Monday.

That's a good point. Who's the invisible man down there in the floor? It would take a really long time for us to explain. Okay. All right. I was so interested. He doesn't want people to know who he is. It didn't sound that crazy at the time, did it?

Coming off the finishing second in MVP voting, best year of your career. I never really endorsed it, but again, I didn't get into a big argument there. Yeah, everybody kind of rolled with it. I want to be... But it was the end of the show. Lamar Jackson now to who Jake Dada was.

We can all be better than people think we were. And finally, Caspin. I've got some anchored phrases real quick because it's not a closer. Austin Guttery says salient point. What else is salient? Right. That's very true. Mitchell writes in hunkered in. This was during the snow days. You hunkered Right. That's very true. Mitchell writes in, hunkered in.

This is during the snow days. You hunkered down. Hunkered down. Hunkered down. All right. I never hunkered in. No, I've never heard that before. Yeah, tell that guy he says.

Sorry, Mitchell. Stacy says, amok. Yeah, I'm flying amok. No. You run amok. You only run amok. And you guys know how that's spelled? Yes.

Only because I'm looking at it. M-U-C-K, right? A-M-O-K, I'm pretty sure. Oh, boy. Should have just waited. You guys would have said it. And then Valiant. Valiant effort.

I like Valiant. Yeah. Those are good. That's like the NPR portion of our show. Yeah. No, I learned something. A little linguistics. And Garrett says, the other day in the group chat, DeMarco Murray was brought up.

Spray tan. Spray tan. Okay. Well, then, I remember this Kemp Spin vaguely, so I went to KempSpin.com, and I clutched my pearls when it wasn't there. My question is, does Jake know DeMarco Murray's Kemp Spin? The guy's name was brennan clay so what is it uh there was an ou football player he was a couple years out like i think he had played with demarco and his his girl who was fitness instagram lady this is probably 10 years ago at least. She was cheating on her

guy with DeMarco Murray and he found out when she was getting a lot of sexy text messages from the contact that was just spray tan in her phone. But it was DeMarco Murray. If your girl is banging DeMarco Murray, what are you going to do about it?

Nothing at that time, especially. What are you going to do about it? Also, especially if, especially. Yeah, what are you going to do about it? Also, especially if your bit is, hey, I was kind of a big time. I played football at OU, right? Yeah. It's like, oh, he was one of the greatest OU football players of all time. So you're kind of screwed there, bud. And yeah, I feel like that guy tried to kind of get famous off that.

I don't think it worked. Yeah, I hope not. What an awful way to try to get famous. You might as well kind of get famous off that. I don't think it worked. Yeah, I hope not. What an awful way to try to get famous. You might as well at least get famous off it. Yeah, try. If you're going to have that happen. It'd be hard to hook up with a girl and she was like, yeah, my ex was DeMarco Murray.

I'd be like, well, this is not going to go great. Yeah. You know, what am I going to do? All right, now time to evaluate Dan Zender. Was it better than the two openers? Then you got the, is it in yet? You cannot fumble in the divisional round. That's how Blake was.

That's viewer mail. The ender wasn't better than the opener. Backwards. We did this in opposite. I should have done that first. Lamar Jackson dropping back, running backwards and throwing it 1.5 yards. I like it. Nice start. This is all happening because after I went to his show, I'm like, and drop him back, you know, running backwards and throwing it 1.5 yards. I like it. Yeah.

This is all happening because after I went to his show, I'm like, you messed up the closer, didn't it? And then he's like, I'm going to get him back at some point. And here it is today. I never really expected it today. Yeah. I ruffled Dan a little bit. I like that.

I woke up. Yeah. You guys want a break? Sure. All right. Let's do it. The Dumb Zone. Dumb Zone. Dumb Zone.

Dumb Zone. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. What do you want to promote? Website? DumbZone.com. DumbZone.com where you can find promo codes. DumbZoneumbzone.com where you can find promo codes.

Dumbzonemerch.com where you can buy cool stuff. Check out Roundball Talk which only airs on YouTube. Not on any other television stations. I'm going to be very clear about that. No puppet! Like are you bagging

on Channel 27 today? No. What are we doing here? I'm not I'm just saying round ball talk Find it on YouTube What am I not getting though The little between the lines Are people saying it's on a TV station? It is

Yeah so what do we have next? I thought I could Oh I don't know The guy who up until six days ago Or five days ago was the biggest Baker Mayfield. Two, three, four. Thank you, Rob. Oh, okay. I guess we'll do this.

Oh, you know what this clip makes me think of, though, is you know who's hosting this weekend? SNL? Chappelle. Chappelle. Oh, love it. Love it. How are they platforming him? He's been canceled.

Now, whether or not he'll be funny as he complains and complains and complains about how he can't say this during a monologue on the most popular comedy show of the last five decades, we'll see. And then the week after that, it is Timothee Chalamet doing hosting and music. I got to tell you, like everyone else, I'm quite taken with this young man these days. Yeah? Did you watch the movie? I've not yet. I almost went to see it the other night and decided, you know what? I'd rather go to bed early.

Wife and I had a night and was like, eh. Maybe not. But no. There's no way you know who Nardwar is, do you? Uh-uh. Nardwar is a Canadian radio guy. He started out as a public radio DJ in Canada. I'm surprised Rob doesn't know Nardwar is a Canadian radio guy He started out as a public radio DJ in Canada I'm surprised Rob doesn't know Nardwar

He has a very unique look Wears a funny hat He has a crazy almost blippy like affect And he's been like the biggest music interviewer In the world for the past two decades That a lot of people haven't heard of and he'll dig stuff and find stuff from like when he did post malone for example he knew about my buddy who was his like very first manager like week one from dallas brick

he'll bring up like a bill from your second grade play you were in or Or, hey, who is such and such? And whoever it is, whether it's Post Malone or Timothee Chalamet, they're like, that's crazy. How'd you know that? And Timothee Chalamet was on there and his interview with him was, I think I'm a fan.

And you know, the guy's probably going to be in every movie for the next 30 years of my life, like George Clooney or brad pitt style leo leo yeah might as well get used to it until he goes to a ditty party inevitable i was working with a comic recently and i think he had the best ditty material that i heard in a long time why don't we get him on? I wish you would. I wish you would. His opener was like –

Let me tell you about other comedians that are funny. His opener was – I'll say his opener was like, I feel like you guys are being too hard on Diddy. Like, you know how hard it is to organize an orgy. It's like I can't get five dudes to watch a basketball game together. Yeah. I thought that was pretty good. That is an interesting thing about orgies is somebody's got to be –

like I'm the guy who plans our boys' vacations, the fellas. That is just herding cats, I tell you. Yeah, it's got to be difficult. Where do you go to sleep? Yeah, do you? Do you all sleep in the living room where you were? Yeah. Is there a clothes pile?

What is- Kind of checking in your coat. So the Mavs lost last night, which they've been doing a lot of lately. Times are bad. And I think I started to say this a couple weeks ago and you guys stopped me. I'm going to watch the games. I'm going to have hope. But this season is just one of those that just didn't go your way.

You truly – Like you don't even think they're going to make the playoffs? They will, but they're really screwed. Won't they be the team no one wants to play? Luka's back. They can just get in. Actually, it's great that Luka missed all those games. Yep.

That's so much way. Although I think he's missing too many games to even be considered for MVP. Is that correct? That's gone. Oh, yeah. Way gone but you know there are years like this Cowboys year they had a lot of injuries but the team is definitely still to blame for how this went

the front office, the coaches, etc. With the Mavs there's nothing to be mad about yeah there's things you can bitch at Kidd about like thinking that Dinwiddie was prime LeBron James last night. Let's just ride that all the way. 38 minutes of ISO Dinwiddie could do without that, but they just got really unlucky this year and it sucks because they had a championship team. Now, maybe if they win next year and a couple of years, you'll look back at it and say it was like, oh, it's part of the journey. But that usually doesn't happen.

Usually you look back at it and you're like, man, that sucks. Because Kyrie's not getting any younger. Now Derek Lively has a sprained ankle. Oh, that's right. I forgot he was out too last night. Four minutes into the game. Oh, that was two games ago, right? Or no.

Yeah, he got hurt in the second game against Denver. So, yeah, they're in a bad way, a really bad way. A couple things to report from the broadcast. I was not able to find the J.J. Barea Agresniff, the Hall of Fame one. Yeah. Because our Dropbox has issues. But he was on the broadcast the other night. It was weird. It was Skin,

Barea, Harris, and Mark. But I just wanted you to know that word appeared in its root form again for Barea. P.J. over Christian Brown. Rebounds his own miss. Fakes a pass. Then makes a pass, I think.

And then a foul. I still think that we need to do that more. PJ got to be in the block, got to be aggressive in the paint and if we want to win tonight, he needs to be extra aggressive. I'll take that two-point shot. If we had the audio, it would be

Barea said aggressive. What opened up for you in the fourth quarter to allow the 15 points scored? Well, a great screen from Tyson and Haywood. And then I got shooters around. And I just stayed aggressive. And Coach K. Pollard picked and rolled for me. Oh, God.

Sorry, I just found it on the fly. Yeah. So what you can hear is he goes with an F sound instead of the V. He did it there and he does it here. And then a foul. I still think that we need to do that more. PJ got to be in the block, got to be aggressive in the paint, and if we want to win tonight, he needs to be.

It's cleaner, but he does have a little bit of a. Do you feel like ESL? Yeah. Aggressive? Yeah. It's unfair. It's like queso at Chili's. You know, it's like he's doing his best, you know, but we can hear it.

I just said State of Griffith. Griffith. I just said State of Griffith. And I actually, by the way, I liked him. He's fun. It's almost like watching a game with a dude who doesn't know he's calling a game. Like last night, something happened. He's like, is that the rule?

Did they change that rule? And I'm like, yes. Yeah, I don't mind that at all. A couple years ago. He's like, oh. And then they're in the middle of the game the other night and Devin Harris is like, yeah, the year I spent with him in Denver, 20 seconds of silence and then Brady's like, you played in Denver?

I don't remember that at all. He's like, yeah, we played against each other. But that's not the call that everybody's fired up about because last night the Mavs got screwed. Now, they were down everybody. They were down Kyrie. They were down Luka. They were down Lively.

They probably still should have beat a very bad Pelicans team, but they didn't. They lost the lead, and they were battling back in the final 30 seconds. They were down three. Then when he goes to the line, and they were battling back in the final 30 seconds. They were down three. Dinwiddie goes to the line, hit both. Now they're down one, and they get a stop and a transition bucket from Spencer Dinwiddie that was clearly off the backboard before it was touched.

It was an obvious goaltend. You can't review it, even if you had a timeout. You can't review anything that hasn't been called, right? Correct. So had they called it a goaltend and stopped the play, you can't, yeah. But Falwell lost his mind, and it was glorious. Is there a possibility of a goaltend?

That's what the Mavericks want. 1.5 left in the game. Here's the shot by Dinwiddie. That's goaltending. Goaltending all day. That is goaltending. All day. Goaltending.

That hit the board first. Dallas doesn't have a timeout. You couldn't challenge a no call. Right. But I don't understand why they're not looking at it. That's the problem. It should be noted at this point, Kidd was going, I don't have a timeout to challenge.

He didn't know. I don't know who that is i don't either producer somebody yeah because you're gonna hear people talking in the background the whole rest of this clip but they showed kid he's got palms up going i can't challenge it no timeouts then would he adamantly no not if they don't call Well, Gediminas Petrinas, Rodney Mott, and Daniel Scott, they missed it. Here's your government names. That's what we'll be called. Yes.

They absolutely missed it. When you talk. Turn it off. Three-pointer is what Dallas needs. Both free throws made. Now, what was that? Whoa. Yeah.

Somebody was talking to the refs or yelling from their courtside seats, like, there's millions of dollars. Who's the new Cuban? Is that him? Dumont? Yeah, is there any chance? Maybe. We went from one owner yelling at the ref to another?

Is what Dallas needs. Both free throws made all right that's not patrick duvall yeah maybe uh i'm trying maybe uh uh the patrice falls into marshall Do monitors falls into Marshall Here he goes game is over 119 116 pelicans win it

He's just stewing 22 and 19 the record that's not good guys How's the easy call I know that That was an easy call. I know. That was really an easy call. Boom. That's go, Tim. All right. Here come the refs walking by.

Y'all missed it. You missed the go, Tim. Come on. What is he doing? Game is over. Now he's going to go back on Mike. That's horrible. So he's got the headset kind of pulled up maybe a little bit,

and then here comes Rodney Debrujan or whoever's name he just yelled out. Y'all missed it. You missed the go-to. Game is over. That's interesting. Mavericks lose their third straight. Pelicans with their 10th win. I mean, he signs off through gritted teeth.

Yeah, like I know obviously Coop is going to tweet about it. Yeah. But is he going to say anything to their face? I guess you got to give him credit for you're actually going to say something right literally to his face. Bow up. Yeah. I never would. That's where I'd call on my to his face. Bow up. Yeah. I never would. That's where I'd call on my wife.

She's my Karen. Yeah. She will activate for me. If I have an issue with anybody, I kind of tell her, and then I tell her, don't do anything about it. Like, that's all you have to do. Yeah. And then all of a sudden she's in that waiter's face.

He signs off like when I make my kid apologize to another one. Mavs Center Court begins after a short break. Thanks for watching Mavs TV, your home for Dallas Mavericks basketball. He's just like, yeah. Mavs Post is next. He's been more fired up this year for sure, but I don't think I've ever heard him flat out. Hey.

Right. Blew it. Which is interesting because I do know, I don't know, I know how local broadcasters know that their main audience is the local fans. Sure. But above that, their real main audience is the guys running the team. And I know Cuban loves, he doesn't want any, he didn't want any mild criticism, I don't think. No.

Like I believe, what's his name, Bob Ortegal got kind of run for actually saying, yeah, I don't think this and this is working. It's like, yeah, we don't need that on the broadcast. But I don't know how the new owners are. All I know is that it wasn't him. The new owner didn't yell at the ref. No. As we had thought. Yeah, I don't know much about Dumont on that front,

but Falwell's kind of – it's dyed in the wool, right? So he's not going to change now. He was Cuban's play-by-play guy for 20 years. Other than that, at least just the Thunder are on the schedule tomorrow night. That'll be easy. Yeah, and they don't, none of their players are

old enough to rest. They need maintenance. That's a problem too. Man, I don't, I know it's Cleveland and I know it's Oklahoma City, but maybe it's just not until the playoffs, but this is insane. I think I told you guys that I looked up the best combined one seed record ever. This is blowing it away. Oh, okay.

Like not even close. So whenever the Bulls had the best record in the NBA, the Western Conference. It was the Sonics, and it was very good, but this is killing that. And when Golden State was very good. Those are the top two, 2015-16. Cleveland wasn't even the number one seed that year. I can't remember.

I have it somewhere. But, yeah, I mean, dude, quick math here. They're 67 and 11 combined. That's insane. Like, they're both six games above the two seed. And they play in these little. And you think that'd be a terrible finals. I think it'd be super fun, but I think the league would be like, what?

Yeah, ratings wise. Yeah. So good times for the Mavs. The year that we will look back on, sadly. Yeah, let's not end it just yet. Have a little hope. Hope is my strategy.

I feel bad. I don't watch a lot of basketball, but I do like whenever the wheels come off in sports and everything starts to look silly. Yeah. You know, whenever your team's getting blown out, you know, now they're just holding cattle on the sideline and dudes are painted orange and people are wearing silly hats and everybody's screaming at each other. Just having the lights come on in the middle of sex when you didn't plan for it.

You're like, whoa, we were all having fun. Now this feels a little weird. What do you guys think the legalities is or are of us playing on our show, the in-arena entertainment that runs on League Pass? Yeah, why not? Yeah. Because that's my new bit idea. Yeah, let's do it. I see all of them.

Some of them I skipped through, but like last night, was it the last night or two nights ago? You're asking your legal experts. We're all like, yeah. maybe yeah somebody but uh this is one i hadn't seen before we had two kids and uh you know they were gonna do i think like layup free throw maybe it was just layups on both ends except they were wearing nba player gear so like size 17 shoes and 3X shorts and shirts. It's a little Ronald McDonald. And they're just like falling down. It was a good bit. I like it.

I want you guys to review these with me going forward. If only Blake could teach me how to get the video. So we have a new bit. Okay. Which is Gummy Thoughts. Oh, okay. And it's brought to us by earlybirdcbd.com Speaking of our website

You go to dumbzone.com You can get that promo code page That's kind of what you need for Early Bird right there Earlybirdcbd.com 20% off your order And Early Bird CBD Has THC in it.

It does. If you're going to have to go... Let's say hypothetically you need to keep your children. It's dependent not for you. I see those seltzers at the store and I'm like, how are we allowed to do this? How did they get around this?

Don't ask. You're right. All you do is go to earlybirdcbd.com. Go to earlybirdcbd.com. Use promo code dumbzone. Or specs. This is specifically, Lawrence, about earlybirdcbd.com. I'm sorry.

Kind of the sponsor of this thing. Or you can just go get yourself CBD anywhere else. Yeah, you might grow it yourself. Yeah, yeah. I mean, geez, man. I know this dude you can call. He might get you a better deal. I don't know that he's going to get you a better deal than 20% off.

It doesn't exist, especially like a Texas brand. So I know I am not here to talk about a specific dream that I had, okay? Okay. See, now I'm gun shy. I had. Okay? Okay. Because I think... See, now I'm gun shy. I almost want to go first. Because you think yours might be bad? No. Yeah, like he doesn't want me doing enders.

Are these just bits? You guys are like... No, this is just... Just funny ideas? Just gummy thoughts. If you've had some gummy thoughts. I've got a million of these on my phone. Well, then you're going to jump in.

That's why we saved it for today. Brought to you again by Early my phone. Well, then you're going to jump in. That's why we saved it for today. Brought to you, again, by Early Bird CBD. Oh, God. I'm not going to talk specifically about any dreams I've had. I don't think that's a cool thing to do. It's just like your fantasy league and your vacation photos. No one cares. My gummy thought is I don't think we make a big enough deal out of the fact we have dreams.

Just how wild it is? Like the fact that, and I don't obviously, like when I say dreams, I mean, never. But this past weekend, I remembered one where you were, I swear to God, you are best friends with Micah Parsons. Not really. Really not that far away. I had to, I,

all of my dreams always involved being late to work or not on time to sit. Like it's, it's always stressful. And I had to drive Micah to get to you wherever you were. Thank you. And he was like busting my balls cause I was getting it wrong. And I was taking wrong turns and stuff. And like,

I was driving him to you. Then I woke up. That's why we don't talk specifically about our individual dreams. We're just talking about the concept. Again, I just thought you'd want to know that you are best friends with him even in my dreams. You think about me.

Yes. Just the idea that whatever event or thing or... When I woke up up it's all sticky or being that created us just made it where hey you know how you need rest to stay alive like biologically

well when you do that the craziest shit you could ever imagine is going to be playing out in your head and it's going to feel real and sometimes you'll cum you'll just cum occasionally and it's going to feel real. And sometimes you'll come. Is there a... You'll just come occasionally. It's like, how do we not wake up

every day and all anybody is talking about is like, I don't know, I was just thinking about something when I was asleep and I was afraid and it seemed real and then I came. Is there a black mirror where it records your dreams? Probably. Because that would be a great bit.

You would definitely want to see the one where you came. And then your wife would be like, I want to see that. And you're like, no, no, no, no. Yeah, unless you watch it, and then your wife wants to see it, and she's like, why is Michael Parsons there? Why is he in this one? Like it's his 17th sack of the season. He breaks the record.

Yeah, he's doing the fist pump. Yeah, I don't know. It's just it is a weird thing. And I know it's been studied, but to my knowledge, it's largely kind of just everyone's like, fuck, I don't know. Right. You're just going to fall asleep. And sometimes.

Try about your mom or something. And, you know, I think I started thinking about this because my daughter, like Brooks is old enough to have dreams that he can tell you about or like good or bad, right? like he'll say i had a nightmare but the other day nor just i i sit her down i go get her from bed i carry her i sit her down first thing she says is a giant squirrel tried tried to eat me last night i'm like that's terrifying she's like it was yeah like so you gotta go to sleep and if you just go to sleep occasionally, like you work in an office for a shark who sits at a desk,

and we're all just like, yeah, it's normal. It's a funny one to me. Have you ever heard of the Monty Hall problem? No. All right, I don't know how I came across this, but when I brought this up to my daughter, she's like, oh, yeah, I know that. Of course.

You know, she's like 19 years old. And she lives online. She was raised online. Born in it. So Monty Hall was a game show host. Was it called Let's Make a Deal? Are you familiar? Yeah. Okay. I think

Let's Make a Deal. And so what this particular... Apparently they did this particular thing on the game show. There are three doors. Behind the three doors, behind two of the doors, there are goats. And behind one of the doors, it's a new car.

Okay. So you pick one of the three doors. Okay. So if Lawrence is a door, Blake's a door, I'm a door. You pick one. Okay okay you pick one door monty hall then goes to the other two so right there you have what a 33 chance of being correct yeah so now monty goes to the two doors that you didn't pick and he opens one revealing the goat like he knows where the car

is so he opens one revealing the goat and then gives you a choice do you want to hold or do you want to pick the other door what should you do what is your thought um You can either keep the door you have, or you can go to the other door that Monty Hall didn't open. I guess right away I'm struggling with this LSAT. I'm trying to figure out what the logic behind this would be. I guess I would just keep the same one. Okay. Well, it would be a 66% chance if you choose the other.

You should always choose the other one. Yeah, because. Because it's a 66% chance that that will be the one. Okay, that makes sense. Because if you had gotten it right first, like. See, but it's. They're never going to pick that one first. It's a counterintuitive thing because you think, okay, now he took one door away.

Now what is it? It's a 50-50 chance. So think, okay, now he took one door away. Now what is it? It's a 50-50 chance. So I could either stay or I could pick. It doesn't really matter. But if you do this a thousand times, you will see it's a 66% chance. And the point of this exercise is to have as much information before making a decision that you can. Because now that he has eliminated one,

you have more information. Like if you didn't have that information and you just had two doors, it would be a 50-50 chance. But you have the information that Monty Hall went up and picked one of those doors like he knew yeah okay and so it's kind of like the sports analogy would be if um uh let's say the

guy from uh the christmas movie had won nine consecutive mbps and is up for another then it's him versus someone else in mvp voting but i didn't know that and i didn't know stats or anything and i just i would 50 50 chance i would take one of them you would take the guy with the nine mvps right like you know more information okay so you know more information but so by knowing more information, it does make sense because when it started out as three, now he has eliminated one, and you know that he has eliminated a goat. And so it still remains 33% on each side. 33% on each side. I'm seeing... So my one dumb guy contention with this, which it looks like at least some people

on this Wikipedia page have pointed out, is... Feels like an election. You still have a 66% chance afterward with the one you just stuck with, don't you? No. Apparently you don't. Because he went to two that you weren't sure about and did pull

one out. Like apparently that's... Yeah. Apparently you have to pick the other one. You have to always pick the other one. You know what's interesting about this too is... So...

Yeah, okay. How many episodes of this were there? Like, a lot. I'm pretty sure. The game show? Well, I don't know that they play this exact game. It's like Price is Right, where they'd play a ton of different games. Oh, okay.

And so, you know, Pachinko might not have been on every episode of Price is Right. Yeah. This game wasn't on every episode. Yes. If this was the only thing, I'd be like, people figured it out, right? Eventually they were just like, we gotta quit doing this show. But somehow this became a thing

that's called the Monty Hall problem. And I don't even know that I'm explaining it well. It's not widely accepted, I'm seeing. But, oh, okay. That's like saying it's not like vaccines aren't widely okay but you're saying that like this is a fact that it's 66 percent it's not it's not it is

it's not yes if you went and did this without like they have the generators that you could put it in and play it out and do it 100 times you're going to see it's going to be well over 50 50 percent and you think it's a 50-50 chance. It won't be. They might fight, Lawrence. Yeah. I would like to see it. No one fights with gummy talk.

In the end, you just end up saying, whoa. Whoa. Chad GPT says it's real. I just said it was real. Yeah, well, I need to confirm it. I just told you. real Yeah well I need to confirm it I just told you He just says it's not because I looked at a website that says it's not widely accepted

I've done my research I'm not sure I should get this vaccine That's you How are you equating this to vaccines? Because you are just someone who flippantly First thing I thought of You flippantly just said I just did a quick search And I've now determined that what you've said All this research that's done is wrong I'm saying going to lie. It's the first thing I thought of. You flippantly just said, I just did a quick search, and I've now determined that what you've said, all this research that's done is wrong.

I'm saying there's doubt. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying there is doubt behind it. You can't fight these people, can you? No. And I mean, honestly, I had a little bit of doubt until I hit ChatGPT, and now I'm like, Dan's right. I asked ChatGPT the other day if I could beat a fox in a fist fight, and it said most likely. Really?

Yeah. Foxes don't have fists. Well, yeah, yeah. But could I take other day if I could beat a fox in a fist fight, and it said most likely. Really? Yeah. Foxes don't have fists. Well, yeah, yeah, but could I take one out if I had to? What was yours, Blake, that you could do a mountain lion? Oh, not a mountain lion. I don't remember. Not a mountain lion. I also asked ChatGPT, what is love?

And I stared at that screen for a long time. You can get deep with it for sure. Let's say there's a hundred doors. Okay. There's a car behind it for sure. Let's say there's 100 doors. There's a car behind one of them. Goats behind all the other ones. You pick one, right? Yeah. Monty Hall goes and shows you

98 other doors. Would you stick with your one or the one that Monty Hall didn't pick? Or do you think you have a 50-50 chance? Oh, damn. He got you now. That's the way to explain it right there. He's right. Okay, but isn't this like the gambler's fallacy or something?

Like if a heads and tails is a 50-50 chance, you call heads the first time you get it right, your natural inclination is go tails next time. But it's independent each single time. Each time it is a 50-50 chance. Right. You're not dealing with a seven-sided coin. You're dealing with 100 separate doors.

You have 100 things now. So if you have 100 doors, tell me. Think about that. If he eliminates 98 of them and shows you the goats, and now you've got that one that he didn't or yours, which one do you pick? I just don't think it matters. This I'm just, this is how I feel. Scrolling on price picks every Sunday morning.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the explanation. Really? Shout out Hunter. Sorry. That explanation is what got me to understand because now he has, it was one out of a hundred, but he has eliminated all those with it.

The chances are one out of a hundred that you had picked the right one hundred but he has eliminated all those with it the chances are one out of a hundred that you had picked the right one but he knew where all they were and then left you that one i'm gonna take that one every time i'll bet you that's a 90 some percent chance okay so you get that yeah that makes sense i did uh i do what i always do because i- Gummy talk. Yeah, I love it. I Googled Monty Hall problem disputed. His first article that comes up, blah, blah, blah, he's a mathematician. He goes through the assumptions you're making, but I thought you would enjoy his conclusion here. He says- Schrodinger's cat of-

Basically, yeah. Yeah. I don't mean don't switch, of course, but quote, don't necessarily switch isn't as catchy a title. Whether or not you should switch depends on what assumptions you make and the standard ones made are not necessarily reasonable. So skip ahead. So if you ever find yourself in a game that looks like the Monty Hall problem, should you switch or not?

Mathematics only helps if you know how to estimate the probabilities. That's much harder to do than simply making assumptions. My best advice is to look Monty in the eye and see if you can work out if he's trying to con you or not. Or maybe if he's genuinely trying to... Just look him in the eye? Yeah, you can kind of get the feel from him. Go with the gut?

Is that like when we would do, you know, scam and phishing training, and they'd be like, A, call IT. B, sign out of your email. C, take a walk. Right. Just kind of take a walk, see how you feel. It felt like staring at a Wendy's menu for too long.

It's like you got to just pick one. Yeah, just pick one. Do you consider that an ender or do you want to give us a gummy? I mean, I could read off my notes. As a comic, my notes app is extensive. I could read off my notes. As a comic, my notes app is extensive. I could just scroll like this forever.

Let me give you one gummy thought. Okay. Please. You say what? I'm in my HOA dad phase. There's a lot of these. I thought of one. I think I'm in my let's establish the run phase.

I think that's how I'd like it to be termed. Okay. Is this NFL related? No, it just fits. It fits for everything. I don't remember what I was doing, but it hit me. It was like, damn, I am getting old. I'm the neighborhood dad now.

And then I was thinking, I sound like somebody that says we need to establish the run we are as a as college field as college athletics sort all this stuff out we are a couple years away from uh blake well they're getting a free education jones becoming a thing i do like establish the run as we get older we all do become established the run you know what i mean i uh you want me to read some random stuff off my notes? Do whatever you want. Okay. I wrote down

dick guns. I've realized I treat my dick like a gun. I leave the house with it every day thinking, boy, I hope I get to use this. And then every day I get home and think, nope, didn't need that at all. Would have had the exact same day without it.

Boy, kind of like, uh, the cop, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So really I'm trying to relate to the gun owners as one who's not, um, you got to make some concessions in an argument. And, uh, I, sometimes I write down conversations I had.

I have a part of that on my note app and I, I was not, I'm very kind here. I was just in a bad mood the other night and a dude after show was talking me and he said I was on TV when I was 12 and I said did you get molested? And he said no juggling. Why

would you think? And I said I don't know in America most kids end up on TV when they're young because they got molested and he goes I guess you're right but no I juggled and then I said well lucky you maybe that one's dark i got one more here okay that i just went to um i i this is how bits get built it's sure it's a respect it's a rant at first and then you whittle it down out maybe jake will relate to some of this so like being a drug addict it's like a drug addict, it's like there was a police sketch.

And when he's done, you're like, that's the guy that did it. And it's a drawing of you. Being a drug addict is a lot of work. I get offended when someone says I binged a show last weekend. It's like, did you lose your friends and family because you couldn't stop watching Game of Thrones? Yeah, that is it. You didn't binge. You were being lazy.

I once did so many drugs in Dallas. I woke up in Seattle. That takes a lot of hustle um i said uh you know it's like oh being a drug addict is waking up every morning looking in the mirror and saying i'm gonna ruin your life and looking back at the mirror and saying i'm looking forward to it uh just living just living every day of your life like a raccoon trapped in a dumpster behind denny's where some kids threw a firecracker in there while you were eating trash. It's like, yeah, he scared me a little, messed up my day,

but I'll do it again tomorrow. There's some good stuff in here. It's really dark. And the main thing, Lawrence, is that you can go to earlybirdcbd.com. Yeah, yeah, that's where it all is. Use the promo code DUMBZONE and you'll get 20% off.

Do you guys want to have a good time? Yeah, I can get some stuff at 7-Eleven too, though. No, no. Yeah, no. Actually, no. Right next to the Buzzballs. Yeah. Actually, no.

All right. Let's do some news. And this is brought to us by own, excuse me, not own, Fairlease. Fairlease. Fairlease.org. Get them a little quick hit. I'm surprised You know

As deep as you were Like you didn't Did you have to go to detox? No I just I woke up in Seattle In a place where I could No longer

Gain access To it And then I found it there And then I In jail? No No not in jail No I was just in Seattle

Staying with Hunter Who I live with now Shout out Hunter You know he has you guys on his fridge. Hell yeah. Which is weird for me because I'll be coming home and I'll be drinking wine on the island, watching football, and I turn around to get another glass, and I've got to go through you guys first.

That's right. To get my next glass of wine. So how did you, I don't know, I haven't heard of too many people who had it as rough as you did who just didn't do treatment at all. I started't know. I haven't heard of too many people who had it as rough as you did who just didn't do treatment at all. I started working out. But you weren't like at physical risk of withdrawals and stuff like that? Oh, no. I had a serious withdrawal.

You just dug it out? Yeah. I just dug it out. That's. Yeah. Yeah. I just walked in. No, but I think Seattle was good because I was able.

You say he's stronger than you. Yeah. No, I didn't. Well, I tapered myself. It's not like I had to do, at least give me credit for that. I didn't do detox. I was saying that he was saying that. I think you're very, yeah.

I wouldn't recommend the way I did it to anybody. I mean, there were some obvious side effects, but waking up in Seattle was great because I could walk down the street and buy a joint legally, and that helped. Segway. That helped the taper quite a bit. Then by the time I got back to Texas, I was just good. I didn't need it anymore. And you never donated?

Oh, and then my son was born. My son was born, and that's kind of sliding in under the garage door. Yeah, I think what he's saying is if you're a drug addict, have a child. Yeah, have a kid. That will help. Have a kid. And if you're thinking about quitting doing drugs, you're a drug addict, have a child. Yeah, have a kid. That will help. Have a kid. And if you're thinking about quitting doing drugs, you're almost there. Just keep going.

Just get that takeaway from today. Boy, where do we want to start? Let's start with this one because we were talking about this a little bit earlier, and this does relate to the HAB and the AA. relate to the Hab and the AA. He was a Southwest pilot of a Chicago-bound flight. This was at Savannah Hilton Head International in Georgia. This is a 7 a.m. flight, 52-year-old dude,

and the flight had to be delayed for nearly four hours as they replaced the pilot because he was hammered. Yeah. So he was following was hammered. Yeah. So he was following Lawrence's advice. Yeah. Keep going. Keep going. And now he's probably going to be, he's going to slim down. Yeah, this is the greatest day of his life.

It could be. Could be. Because as I've told you guys, the place that I went in Southlake for like when I just went to therapy there and it was addiction-based, they had some sort of a working relationship, like a partnership with American Airlines. That's how frequent it was. I met three or four pilots over the couple years of in and out of there.

What about it? Tons of flight attendants. What about it makes it such a... It's the travel. It's stressful, and it's like, hey, look, we're... Free little bottles. Yeah, and it's like, hey, we got two hours in this city. Let's stop at a bar.

Or we got a random overnight in Miami. You know about those flop houses where they just... You can rent rooms all over DFW. I think about that a lot in Grapevine. It's a thing. Yeah. In Grapevine. I think, I don't know why.

I guess that's what it is. All the sex that's happening in those pilots. And you can kind of tell too when, it's kind of like gaydar, I think. I could tell usually which flight attendants partied male female otherwise and they're getting older you know what i mean i can't the last few flights i get on i'm like i got the real seniority stewardesses you know yeah i don't know are you on the cheap airlines yeah yeah my guess is not every time i get on a flight recently but i like to chartered plane they're hots oh yeah like the stars flight well when you get on a spirit flight and there on a chartered plane. They're hot. Like the Stars flight. Well, when you get

on a Spirit flight and there's like 300 people, recently I like to think about how we don't give 9-11 enough credit, like those guys. You know, I just think if the four of us had to take over a plane, I'm like, how am we taking over and you're going to get into the cockpit and you're going to fly

and nail it? I don't know. Well, back then, they were inviting you in. They invite you in basically it wasn't like the door they would walk in and out of that thing during the flight yeah right yeah it was definitely different yeah it was definitely way different i mean you could go just chill at the airport i would do that in high school wouldn't they hand like the first um 50 flyers they would hand you like a box cutter. Oh, really? Yeah, like with a little logo on it. It was great. Thank you for flying with the Southwest.

I was always pissed because why would they limit it to the first 50? I know. You know they have more. I mean, I bought the ticket. Yeah. But anyways, yeah, very, very common. And no, the flight attendants, like you know because I'll be, I would be like, you know, whatever.

I would have a drink on pretty much every flight I was on. At least one. And you'd order one. And the lady would see me looking at the menu, like kind of debating, do I want to have a second one? And she would just come drop two in my, in front of me. Every time. So that's always nice. So you knew she likes to party.

Yeah. She understands. She'd give me the little tap on the shoulder. Like, oh, you're fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's sweet. So anyways, Pilot was drunk.

Probably going to lose your job over that one. Currently just on administrative leave. Which is, is that better or worse than yelling the C word at a lady at a Philadelphia Eagles game? That's so much worse. Okay. Well, he got administrative leave. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Being vulgar but not physical at a sporting event with no relation to your job at all, I just don't think that's worth getting fired over. Now, I will tell you this. I also learned- I'm business in the front and C-word in the back. Wait. Someone at a sporting event was yelling profanity?

Yeah. No way. Yeah. Pilots, I do know this, very hard to fire. Oh, yeah? I learned that also from these people. Union? Oh, really?

Yeah. Strong union? Yeah. Other airport news, this one local. Police arrested a man at Love Field over the weekend for a hit and run that happened a couple weeks ago in Cockrell Hill. He was out of town on business. 24-year-old guy. He was in, I think, Tennessee.

Touchdown. You know how you and I would be like, ah, it's a beating when you live in, like, Fort Worth. You got, like, a 45-minute drive after this long flight. Well, for this guy, he landed, and they were like, you're going to jail. Yeah, that's a long way over. Wait, from the hit and run here?

Yeah. Oh, I was going to say, what a great, if you're going to do a hit and run, you should do it out of town. No, it happened January 2nd. So they had just followed him and figured it out while he's on the flight. Yeah, and they'd been piecing it together

for a couple weeks. Like he wasn't leaving to flee, was he? No. Like thinking Nashville, they can't get me? Then he probably wouldn't have been arrested coming back. Oh, it was coming back? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought it was when he landed in Nashville. I may have said it wrong. No. He was coming back from Nashville. The police had actually talked to him about it on the phone. Oh, okay. Beforehand. And he said like, hey.

He knew it's closing in on me. He said, I thought I hit a pothole. You know how Cockrell Hill has bumpy roads. He admitted that he was taking medication that day. Maybe fix the roads around here. Yeah. You know, I've been thinking, that mayor, what's he up to? Can I say, I miss the days when getting on a plane meant you got away.

I know. You know what I mean? If you could just make it to the airport and get on the plane. I still don't understand how things work. If I'm in Ohio and I get a ticket, if I get on the plane and I fly back to Texas, does that exist? Did that ever happen? It's a good question. What happens to me?

If I just never pay that. Do you have a warrant? Let's say you have a warrant in Ohio, but you never go back. For a speeding ticket? Are they going to transport me? Let's make it better. California, you get the infraction, and then you come to Texas.

Would Texas support this blue state and their charge? They're just trying to railroad me over there. Yeah. Lib justice system out to get me right-leaning Republican Texan. Right.

Like, I'm in Vegas. I'm acting a little crazy, and I see a cop, and I'm like, you know, you're only a cop here. You're not a cop where I live. I don't know how that works. I don't really know how it works. I grew up thinking, well, I grew up watching a show called The Dukes of Hazzard. Yeah. And if you got to the county line, the cops would just kind of, like, peel off. Like, God damn. Right? I'm at the county line the cops would just kind of like peel off

right i'm at the county line can't do anything can't do anything about it but i'll still hear stuff like that in like police chases i was in a high-speed police chase once let's go yeah yeah i got away i uh well yeah i mean you never get away. I, uh, Oh God. So I was, um, I was like 23. I was about to move to Austin and I've been working at the same restaurant for like years and they had a going away party for me. Long story short, I pull into an alley. I just needed a pee. I couldn't make it all the way to my house. So I'm in like a neighborhood in Plano and I pull into this alley. I know this neighborhood really well. I pull in this alley to take a piss. I'm by myself. i'm wearing like a black button up tucked into khakis and i'm taking a piss and i jump back in my car and at the time i'd had two p o two poms two possessions of marijuana in my life so i i thought in texas if you got a third drug arrest for the same thing it's a felony so all of a sudden this plain old cop comes flying up behind me and he makes me you know he's talking to me and i have like an eighth of weed right here and he's got my driver's license and he starts telling me he's like okay well i want you to get out of the car he's like accusing me

of stealing out of alleys i'm like you know who steals out of alleys by themselves like a possum like who's who's like let's get a big score i know where the alleys are i was just awesome like i had to pee. I couldn't make it. I pulled over. So he's telling me to get out of the car, and I just did some dumb math in my head. I thought, well, I know if I get out and he's going to find this weed,

that's a felony. If I just drive off far enough and throw the weed out of the car, and then they arrest me, they rough me up. Ah, yeah, okay. Good plan. Is that a felony? I don't know. I don't have Google back then. You know what I mean? I don't think it would have helped you all that much if you'd have been like,. Oh, yeah. Okay. Good plan. Is that a felony? I don't know. I don't have Google back then.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't think it would have helped you all that much if you'd have been like, hold on, officer. Hold on. I need to plug chat GBC component on my phone. I didn't have that access. So what I did is I just, I mean, I just peeled off.

And I peel off out of the alley. I chunked the weed out of the car. And now I'm darting through alleys. I'm darting through, and I can hear all the squad cars going on. He's got your license, right? Well, yeah. So he knows who you are. That's a... So they're chasing me for a while, but I guess the fact that they had

my license... They weren't trying too hard. They weren't trying too hard. You don't forget that you did this, but two years go by. Two years go by. I hear nothing. I hear nothing. They never showed up the next day.

No, went back. They weren't waiting at your house. Went back, got my weed. Nice. Yeah, they weren't waiting at my house. Two years later, I got a letter in the mail saying, yeah, you've been indicted by a grand jury for evading arrest with a motorized vehicle.

Whoa. Yeah, but it was, that was a shitty letter. That worries me. Yeah, right? Right? Do you feel you were profiled there? Were you racially profiled? You know, I don't know.

I mean, it's Plano. Would they have pulled me over and said I was stealing from an alley? I don't look like an alley stealer. That's why I like being in Dallas. In Dallas, cops have things to do. Yeah. You know what I mean? In Plano, cops don't have a lot going on.

Like, oh, is that somebody in an alley? We better investigate this. Yeah. Not since the Black Tar. You know? But I got a lawyer. It's a good first step. Yeah.

Not going in solo. At that time in my life, I sold drugs for a long time. So at that time in my life, I had enough money to get a good lawyer to fight this drug case for me and uh he got it dropped down to a misdemeanor um i had to serve some time on probation but turns out evading arrest um is a felony but they got it dropped to a misdemeanor but if i would have got caught with that weed that would have been a felony the math checks so in the end yeah i uh I guess I won how much time have you actually been incarcerated like days total um I as a young man I got I got arrested a lot um I don't know off the top of my a lot a lot and um I'm like 20 years out now yeah yeah being in any kind of trouble at all

um but uh one time I just failed a piss test, and they locked me up for two or three weeks in county for failing a piss test for weed. Yeah, yeah. In Collin County. Yeah. Which sucked. Because as a Hispanic,

they separate you whenever you get to jail by ethnicity a lot of times. So my bunkmate every night was like a different Latino person, and then they would just be gone the next day because they'd get deported or sent to wherever they would send them and then one night i had this like massive um like six foot two demarco murray black dude and he's sitting on the bottom bench and i'm just reading to kill a mockingbird performative and he kept like rocking back and forth on the bed every night like making noises

and i thought like if this dude stands up and tries to kill me like i think he could do it for sure and the next day he's gone but his stuff's there and eventually i asked a guard a couple days later i was like hey what happened to the dude that was in my cell because he was acting real crazy he's like oh yeah no that dude's literally insane we took him to the psych ward he's never coming back here and i was like yeah good good i'm here, I'm here for marijuana for a gram of marijuana. That's good. That's good. Yeah. There were a couple of people in the hab that were, they needed a different type of care. Yeah. And there's really no way to filter that

out. So you'd be having this like conversation of, Hey, here's the things that I think I could do better in life. And my life is pretty good, to be honest, relative to a lot of people that are there dealing with much more serious things. But you're working through this. You're like, here's a way I could cope better. And then some guy would stand up and just be like, I tried to light my ex-girlfriend on fire.

And I'm like, yeah, I have a hard time relaxing. Yeah, I've got a lot of anxiety about situations. Sometimes I'm bummed out about this or that this guy's like yeah well um you know and he'd lift up his shirt and be like my entire right side was you know burned in an oil field fire because i was smoking meth and dropped my pipe or something and he's like i can't see just crazy but you know you say your life's good you remember hollywood henderson yeah as a man, I had to go to an outpatient rehab. And I remember they made us watch this video.

And he had this great line where he's talking about being like, I don't know, it was the playoffs or the Super Bowl. And he was so addicted to crack at the time that he was in a huddle. And when you get strung out on that stuff, as I've been, little things on the ground will look like drugs. And he was just talking about being in an NFL football game. And he looked down and he tried to reach for a crack rock, and he's like, oh, yeah, that's not there. All right, line up. Next play.

Next play. And he's having a great life. Yeah. No, it's possible. He's having a great life. You know what I mean? You know the thing about him? What?

He won the lottery. Oh, really? He won the lottery twice. He wins the lottery, and then, yeah, like 10 years later, he won the lottery again. Kind of a reverse Nate Newton. Yeah. The luckiest guy in the world.

Yeah, and did crack and played in the Super Bowl. What a life. Tough news for Dan as singer-actor Jessica Simpson and her husband, former NFL player Eric Johnson, are calling it quits. Oh, man. Oh, man, really? After 10 years.

I wonder if she needs to look in the mirror. Right? I know we can blame John Mayer, and we can blame Tony Romo, and they're all a-holes to me. I read her book. You read her book? Oh, yeah.

What inspires you to read her book, Dan? Someone told me that there was something that made Tony Romo look foolish in there, so I'm like, I'll read the whole thing. Really? Instead of just the Tony Romo chapter. When Tony Romo was in his his prime and he was dating her by the way one time i got out of jail and tony romo threw four touchdowns on that day and like that makes the house so much happier um wait you had like sober living or something do what wait what house no

my grandparents okay like i just got arrested they had to bail me out and it was on a thanksgiving and then tony romo threw four or five touchdowns and that really helped the vibe nice okay cool but when he was dating her like it's just like dude date a girl from sonic i know yeah come to holton city she wouldn't have made you go to cabo yeah but now he used to like he used to play madden all the time and he'd play with himself he'd be be himself. And what else was the thing? He would blast her music on his boat and sing. Like Louisville.

He's really not a guy who reads the room a lot of times. Kind of guy that would wear his own jersey. Sure. Didn't allow her to do some scenes with other men or something. Yeah, he didn't want her kissing. Went full Andre Agassi. her to do some scenes with other men or something. Yeah, he didn't want her kissing. Yeah.

Went full Andre Agassi. This all sounds completely reasonable to me. This all sounds so reasonable. To the neurotic recovering addict. Then I read the whole book, and yeah, she had a little tough time. I mean, she had the tough time, you know, the thing that all hot girls say. Like, ah, I just,

I mean, my jugs were too big. Like, ah, I just... And so, Dan. My jugs were too big in school, and then I felt self-conscious about it. Then everybody just bought me stuff and were really nice to me all the time. Then I dated the starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, and it was stressful. And then when I got my

million-dollar contract, they were telling me, even though I was really hot, I had to lose five pounds. Oh, okay, sorry the way they treat you. Well, let's wrap up with another story of a woman that perhaps Dan can respect because she earned it. She earned it the hard way. Last month it was Lily Phillips and her 101 men in 24 hours

for her OnlyFans. Well, a woman that I have seen actually with that Lily Phillips lady, her name is Bonnie Blue. And she also has an OnlyFans. I believe she's filmed, like I said, some scenes with Mrs. Phillips. And she posted over the last couple days on her Instagram and TikTok that she said, cute, I got to 1,057 in 12 hours. Hold my beer. Why not stop at the round number? She said that there were still some guys in the queue, as the Brits say, and she's like, I wanted them to get what they came for. 1,000 was the number she was going for? Is everybody finishing? No. Let's break it down. So this article has it at

40 seconds per mail, right? Oh, wow. And my thing is, here's where I'm confused. If all it takes is an in and out to count, it shouldn't even take that long. Yeah. Like you just, that should take seven seconds because she's definitely already ready to go. Well, if I drove all the way over here, I'd kind of get at least 40 seconds. Well, that's the thing is are they timing it at 40? Like 40 is the average. But are some guys quicker?

Because her bit – and she's been doing this for a while, and it is a very good bit because it pisses people off she does only fans right it's not really like that's the the way now you're not really getting a lot of new porn stars that are just doing it for the love of the game um like porn hub or whatever yeah which people are just going right to onlyFans. Yes, primarily, which is weird because OnlyFans is also not just all yourself. There's a lot of – it's a big company. It donates a lot of money to Israel too, by the way, folks, just letting you know. Good or bad?

Who am I supposed to be happy with? I simply mentioned that they are a huge contributor. Am I funding terrorism with this? They are a huge contributor to APEC, the pro-zero lobby in the United States. Oh, that's not the oil thing? OPEC? Okay. Yeah, I'm glad you knew OPEC.

I know a lot of stuff. But with OnlyFans, you have to pay for it, right? Yes, and this woman in particular averages $500,000 a month. No, wait. I think I have that wrong. $600,000. averages 500 million or 500 000 a month no wait i think i have that wrong uh 600 she makes 600 000 pounds a month so about you know 500 grand 600 grand a month uh from her subscribers and what she does and what she's done in the past dan before we get to this most recent stunt she'll go to uh like college campuses um in london in fiji

and in australia and she'll go when it's like freshman week or orientation week such a good idea and she'll just i would have been in line she'll show up and she's like i will have sex with every single person here that wants to if i can film it absolutely and i've seen her do it like not do it do it but i've seen clips where she'll go up she'll have some super shy nerdy looking 18 year old and she's like come on and she's hot obviously yeah and then you watch these i haven't watched to watch it because i'm not gonna pay for that but i'm aware of what who she is and what she's done it pisses people off so like you're a predator she's done. It pisses people off. She's like, you're a predator. She's like, yeah, actually they're adults

and they're allowed to do what they want. They're allowed to go fight in wars. So they can have a run at me if they want. She is completely shameless about it. She went to Cancun in March, spring break. She's just like, we'll go, let's go. Yeah, if I can film it. Something called Schoolies, which is a week in Australia,

and Freshers, which is a week in the UK, where she just shares her location online and goes for it. A lot of dudes are doing this, too. There's no – she doesn't have STDs? There's no – Well, that's the thing is I assume – maybe we'll just put this on the company card for research, right? Mm-hmm. And just see how it goes.

My guess is that they're all Connie'd up. Well, yeah, but I mean, I don't know. Like a condom place needs to sponsor her if that's the case. They're like, hey, look, these work. These definitely work. Because I believe in the case of Lily Phillips, like not everyone did work. Well, she had people get STD tests. I watched the documentary.

Oh, the documentary. I love the loopholes. I watched the documentary. 101 minutes, 24 hours. Yeah, she had people get tested. I watched the documentary. 101 minutes, 24 hours. Yeah, she had people get tested. But then they ran out of, they needed more guys and just started saying, just show up. Yeah, it was a big fail.

But yeah, they had to wear the Connie for insertion, but not for when she was helping them out. Okay. Because remember, like she said, she couldn't, her eyes hurt that day because of all the jizz in her eyes. Yeah. Ooh. That's a rough day at the office. This woman looks fine afterward. Lily Phillips looked very... Emotionally drained.

Not so good, folks. This lady came out... Like a retired NFL player that can still walk good. Yeah. It didn't really bother me at all. Yeah. The other lady's like, I don't know where I've been like I don't know where I've been

Herschel Walker can barely But she She seemed fine So yeah I don't know Again I don't know what the So you think the first girl Was kind of Overplaying it

Like you weren't that bad That or she didn't Wasn't a real ball knower Yeah Okay she's attractive This chick knows what's up Yeah Yeah

Oh I wonder what causes that. Like that urge? Yeah. To become that. Money? Yeah, marketing. What are you? Sounds like you're judging her. There was a lot of greedy people who wouldn't take a thousand dicks in half a day. Yeah. There's something

else going on underneath there where you're like, yeah. There's a gateway somewhere. Yeah. Probably sexual abuse. else going on underneath there where you're like, yeah, there's a gateway somewhere. Yeah. Oh, probably a little sexual abuse. Yeah. I mean, it'd take a thousand,

but how would it work with a dude? Right. She just likes number. Well, I'm saying a gay dude. What do you mean? Taking a thousand dudes or a hundred dudes. Yeah. That feels like it'd be harder.

Right. Again, things harder for men. Yeah. You know, women. But I guess if your butt is already out there, then you can just. We can find out next Thursday. But I heard some people saying like, oh, you know, what if a man.

Because she actually like brags about like, hey, I want to take guys virginities. That's something I like. Like, what if a man did because she actually brags about, hey, I want to take guys' virginities. That's something I like. What if a man did that? Well, then they would say the same thing, which is that this is weird. Like, what your body counts is a big thing on the internet these days, isn't it? Is it? Yeah, the man on the street stuff.

Oh, like how they found Hawk Tua? Yeah, so it's just a debate about what body counts are too high. I mean, it's a debate as old as time. It's really easy. You get a young man. I think Will Compton came up with this.

Jesus, I'm such a prude. You get a young couple on the street. You ask him what's his body count. Basically just try to ruin their relationship. Yeah, then when hers is triple the amount of his, he's like, what? Yeah, right. I mean, I knew this when I was in college. You don't want to know.

You do not want to know. I've never asked a girl to tell about it. Like your wife, if she's really good at whatever, you don't want to know how she figured that out. Yeah. Where'd you learn that? That wasn't a first. She's not just a natural.

Yeah. She learned that. Some really scummy guy made her do that. It doesn't have to be a made her do that. It always is. She was reluctant, but then she did it. And then you should be upset to know she kind of likes it. Like she likes doing it to you.

You're like, oh, man, it must be just me. It's not. All right, Dan, settle down. She's in there. I'm saying. And you don't want to think about it. You don't want to know. The more you know, it's the opposite of the Monty Hall thing.

The more information you have, it's the worse. Love it. Yeah. Yeah, no, you don't ask. Statistically, yeah. You don't ask. Real quick here. I don't know how the Rose Twins are handling this.

Do we need a report from them on TikTok? Because we're staring down the barrel of a Chinese gun right now. Is it really going to happen? It would be January 19th. But the good news for those who would like to keep TikTok is while Trump was super against TikTok before and on board with banning it because of China and the national security and privacy issues, singing a different tune now. And he has put in, I guess his team has put in a request with the Supreme Court of like, hey, don't let this happen on the 19th. We'll keep working it out. Did Elon get to him?

So I don't think it was Elon per se in this case. Although along with Elon and Zuck, the CEO of TikTok will be at the inauguration seated with them. What appears to have changed is a couple things. One, TikTok worked super well for him this campaign. Ah, well, he'll love that then. Yeah. So it's probably sticking around. And he met with a Republican mega donor named Jeff.

His name is Y-A-S-S. So it might have just Jeff. His name is Y-A-S-S. So in my head, it's just Jeff. Yes. Yes. A Republican mega donor who owns a significant share of ByteDance, which owns TikTok. Mr. Trump has said they did not discuss the company. But, yeah, he's a guy who's funding all of the pro TikTok efforts here.

And I didn't know this. I watched a year-old 60 Minutes segment on TikTok and its issues this morning. So it's Chinese. It comes from China. But the Chinese product, the version of it they have there, for people 14 and under, they're only allowed 40 minutes a day. And it feeds them like educational videos like science experiments you can do at home museum tours patriotism and national history like they ship them that and they give us complete unfettered access to guy breaks dick doing dance

challenge on milk crates and we're like fuck yeah see this was my theory the other day about like they worry about north korea building like nuclear material and i said like we should just give them all of the things that they need to build nuclear material and be like do it yeah put it together yourself and uh just see how that goes i think they would take care of themselves you know that's what they did to us with tiktok they're like oh you guys like this? Yeah, go ahead and see what you do with it. That's not a bad idea.

But yeah, they're kind of Trojan horse-ing us here a little bit. Yeah, for sure. Dude, probably the biggest shift in Chinese foreign policy was when they saw Chewbacca Mom. They're like, holy shit, they're watching this. Like, really watching it. How do we feed them more of that? I'm surprised I haven't opened for her yet. Me too.

I tried to book her one time. Right in the height of it. And was referred to her agent. The original Hak Tua. She's gotta be gettable now. Maybe there's a bit here. Like us booking washed up. Shovel Girl.

Yeah, you got Shovel Girl girl 10 years after the fact letarian who else we were recently talking about somebody else who wanted to go the bakerhead girl yeah like these are people that were tough to get at the time but we could get now Lewinsky I don't know if she'd be easy to get I'd love to get her though she's a hero it's your baka mom

is turning into a full-on Roseanne. She started it. That's true. Joy Evangelist, author, speaker, podcaster. Joy Evangelist. Once upon a time, Chewbacca Mom. There's your news. The Dumb Zone News.

Like and subscribe. Our next segment will be brought to us by Frankel and Frankel. Frankel and Frankel. Personal injury attorneys. Dart boss. What was your thing before? Somebody was talking about calling a lawyer?

Anyway, I can't remember what that was earlier in today's show. I know that if I were going to call one, it would be someone with the Frankles. It wouldn't be some guy at 7-Eleven that you met that Lawrence is getting pot from? No, no. It would be the Frankles. Personal injury attorneys.

You call, you will get a partner. They're not just going to throw their Lawrence on the phone, some random they just grabbed through here. Nah, some idiot. 214-817-333-3333. They have people who used to work for the insurance company, so they know all their dirty tricks. And they'll make sure that doesn't happen to you.

Get what you deserve. But remember, you can defend yourself in court. You can. Yes, it is legally an option. You can defend yourself in court. You can. Yes, it is legally an option. You can defend yourself in court. It'd be a lot cheaper. Yeah, but... But the quality, though.

Yeah, that's the whole thing. Yeah. Insurance companies are a pain to deal with. Let the Frankles do it for you. Don't talk to anybody else. Talk to the Frankles. A couple of viewer birthdays. Dear Fuhrer of the front butt Tomorrow is my Devin Harris birthday

My leaders are Jake's bravery And Dan having his wife clip his toenails Wait what? What? Did you tell us that? Mm-hmm Was I here? I don't know

My wife loves popping pimples. That I get. Cutting my toenails. I let them grow extra long for her. Oh, my God. That's super gross. I wonder what guy she got that from. Right?

Seriously. There was some dude who just had the gnarliest back pimples ever that she was with for a few years, and she just loves it. Right. Her old boyfriend was into steroids. Put her face right next to it. Like, ah! Blast it on her. She'd pin all the steroid pop pickles.

More Danny, less KT. Just the right amount of Ty Walker. You don't have to read every negative KT comment today. From Zach via Gmail. What a jerk. I'm just reading. KT loves it. And dear Captain Beef Curtains

and his magic rod, please give a shout out to my brother-in-law Day One DF Andy. Let's see. This is from The Chaz G that owns zero local car dealerships.

Unlike Chaz Gilmore, who owns many. All right. We'll wrap things up here. I love that graphic. Hyenas? Why don't you have sex with it? Can we fuck that graphic?

I'm not expecting you to marry it. Because you're already married, so that would be... Yeah. Hyena's Fort Worth in Dallas. Oh, me? Yeah. Tomorrow night, two shows in Dallas with Mike Stanley. I'll be your feature.

And then two shows in Fort Worth Saturday. What's feature mean? I go in the middle. I go in the middle. It's a sweet spot. Like 30 minutes? Yeah. So you're not the spare up front? No, not the spare up front. Slide me right in the middle. But you're not that great?

Not that great. Not that great. Middle's probably the best place because if you kill and then the guy headlining, if you do a little better than him, you're like, oh man, remember that guy in the middle? Yeah. no. Of course, you don't get paid like the headliner.

That is very true as well. That is very true as well. So you go to your mailbox looking for that, hey, that guy in the middle was good check, and you don't get one. Anyway, today is Thursday, January 16th. You don't want to be in the middle in a human centipede. No, I see it right there beside you.

I've been often distracted by it as we've spoken. By the... The buckypeed? Yeah, the buckypeed. Some guy had that made for us by his wife, who is a surgeon. Yeah, who is it? She's like, she used surgical thread or whatever. She did it.

That's exactly how she would have done it. I still don't get it. You probably came to a show at the point where in my career I was saying, I've never seen an attractive person wear a Buc-ee's t-shirt. Yeah.

I just haven't seen it yet. Yeah, it doesn't. I don't understand the fascination. The craftsmanship. It is. That she put into this. I haven't been in a long time. Look how happy they look.

And while it's fantastic, I'll probably never go back. Yeah. To Bucky's? Yeah. They've crowded me out. I just don't have a desire for it. I go there just to shower. Yeah.

Nice. I don't like using the toilet with 60 other people at the same time. Well, we know your issues. Yeah. Dude, I was in a unisex bathroom the other day. Oh, yeah? Yesterday. Quite common now.

Yeah, but in Texas, I thought we could have raped thousands of women when I was there. It was me and two ladies at the sink. It was Mylai Kitchen. You know what that is? Yeah, yeah. Mylai? That place is dope. I worked there for like if you work there, they let you try every dish. And I worked there for two weeks.

And the food's phenomenal. But I quit. Was it the whole bathroom thing that turned you off? No. Were you at the small one or the new one? There's one in South Lake. I was at the one in South Lake. I've been to the one in Dallas before.

I was at the one in Uptown for like two weeks. I worked there. But I go to the bathroom, and they have just the floor-to-ceiling door, and it said men. And then there was one next to it that said women. And next to it, it said men and women, and then the sink at the end. And I was like, oh, this is interesting. And I just thought, what's all the hubbub about?

Why are we all upset about unisex bathroom, or men using... I don't know, dude. Whatever. Like our dudes dressing as ladies just to get near ladies in the bathroom. I don't think that would be happening,

but I don't know. Also, our dudes... I just bought a really extra big dress, so I'm gonna see. Our dudes like... Or our ladies, born ladies, taking testosterone and wearing vans and other stuff like that. To go to the men's?

Yeah. I don't know. Seems weird. The only time I've seen women in the men's bathroom is at a bar because the women's line is so long. Yeah. And the lady just can't wait. Boy, I got it.

I got reverse. It's like the young Karens, your young Karens in college. Speaking of the Shane show, I got reverse ladyed at that. I'm going to talk about the freest line the ladies have ever had to the bathroom. At a Shane concert? Yeah. While the dudes are, ugh. Does Shane not have a lot of lady?

I'm sure there's a lot of wives and girlfriends. Just lady fans in general? Probably not. They're out there. They just also are small enough in number that they can use the bathroom quickly. Today is

Thursday, January 16th. On this day in 1865, Union General William T. Sherman decreed that 400,000 acres of land in the south will be divided into 40-acre lots and given to former slaves. And then, of course, later, President Johnson was like, You guys are really in the heat of the moment there. I got a heat of the battle kind of thing. Hey, guys, people say stuff.

That land is just giving it away. In fact, no, no, no, no. So that's where they started the 40 acres and a mule saying that never ended up happening. Ah. What a bad bit. That reminded me, I bet on who's the commanders? Oh, Jaden Daniels. He was over the points by like.5

and then he stepped back to take a knee to kick a field goal, so I lost the bet. So that's what that reminds me of. You know, you can't give it to me. He was just over his yardage that he needed for you to win. And then he took a knee to get a position for a field goal. That's what they call a bad beat. Yeah, and that's what happened with the Sherman and the slaves.

They caught a bad beat all the time. Took them out on Scott Bedbelt. On this day in 1920, prohibition began. No one's saying that. What? In the 18th Amendment. No one makes it sound like it's the next step for a promising college habition player.

It's pro-habition, yeah. There was just amateur habition previous to this. On this day in 1980, Paul McCartney arrested in Tokyo and jailed for 10 days. They found marijuana in his suitcase at the Tokyo airport. They found a half pound a half pound that is a lot of marijuana to be flying around with who is this by the way paul mccartney damn yeah but it was like total dirt you know what i mean

what just terrible pot i imagine cells, the jail cells in Japan are smaller than our jail cells, and I don't know why. I think they're awesome, though. They're real clean. Yeah. I just imagine that they're smaller. They send a lady in to kind of wash your feet. Yeah. You know how they execute people? They take

them to that forest and hang them. No. Suicide force. Oh, that's a suicide force. No, that's the suicide force. No, so it's like, haven't we talked about this before? It's, they hang people. Oh, really? Yeah. And it's, they call it long drop hanging.

It's cleaner. It's quieter. And what they do is. Long drop? So, okay. Since 2009, district courts try capital cases using the lay judge system where three professional judges sit with six randomly chosen citizens. Five votes of nine-member court include... I'm reading the wrong part, but that's how they vote.

Three judges and they get six other people, and that has to come with a majority. And what they do is they have like six people, or maybe it's three. They all have a thing they can pull when it's execution time, but none of them know which is actually attached to the thing. So they all think either. It's like the firing squad. They don't all have real bullets.

Which is great because everybody gets to walk away going, I killed that guy. I'm going to become a stone cold. Or like probably wouldn't be. Yeah, I would be more disappointed if it wasn't you. I'd be like. Yeah. Now, if they let you pull, if one guy pulls and they show you and there's just no, it's just a goat hanging or something, then.

Yeah. I would pull mine just a little bit later. Just pull it just a little bit later. Just pull it just a little bit later. That's not a bad idea. Or pull it first. They're like, one, two. You go on the two. This day in 1997 at the Winter Meetings in Arizona,

the owners voted 26-2 to put the Devil Rays in the American League and the Diamondbacks in the National League. The Royals and the Rangers voted against it. Fearing realignment, neither team wanted to go to the West because of the time difference in starts for late games. And that proved to be not a worry for Kansas City. But. But. But.

You know what we didn't talk? We're going to talk about it tomorrow. No, not Bob Bucher. Who's a dead? Skip Shoemaker? Shoemaker. Get to know your next Ranger manager. Okay.

No, we didn't talk about the new Ranger TV package, but tomorrow Jared Sandler will be on with us to talk about that. He not a drug addict or alcoholic. We'll have to break the streak. Or a functioning one. True. He's functioning very well. Birthdays today, former Stars captain

Brendan Morrow, 46. Good dude. Former cowboy Doug Free, 41. This is a disputed birth date. Half the sites like Wikipedia will say today. ESPN says it's today. NFL or pro football reference will say it is January 6th. I like that.

For Doug Free? Yeah. That's really weird. I thought you were on to the next birthday. Like, boy, man of mystery, Doug Free. Yeah, I like that. Because he's the guy that mowed his lawn, right? Yeah, yeah.

It's not like it's a Dominican shortstop. Right. Just a regular-ass dude. Jonathan Allen, 30. What happened to him? Redskins great. He's on the Redskins. Oh, you know what?

I'm thinking of Jonathan Taylor. It seems like he fell off pretty quickly. Jonathan Taylor Thomas? Yeah. Albert Pujols is 45. I never noticed it until I was watching a game with my daughter. Steroids. How's that possible?

And she said, yeah, and this is when he was with the Angels. So it's after his whole career, you know, all that kind of stuff. She's like, his last name is Pujol. And then I had a little tear in my eye because my little daughter was all grown up. Did you? Like, this is perfect. When you were out west.

You're recognizing. No, you got to be proud of that. Yeah. When you were out west for Worthway, did you point at the sign? Did you find anything funny about that when you were passing the Chisholm Trail? Chisholm Trail? Never occurred to me. Yeah, I was just just in i don't know if it's chisholm trail i was just with carlos mencia in uh this club in arkansas and uh it's it's i don't it it's in northwest so there's

signs that say nwa and there's like a white guy promoting like as a lawyer and i looked at the opener i was like who was nwa mean to you it's a younger kid and as a lawyer. I looked at the opener. I was like, who does NWA mean to you? It's a younger kid. He goes, Northwest Arkansas. I was like, glad you went first. Yeah. Glad you went first. Joe Flacco, 40. Flacco.

Flacco. Former Brown's great. Better than Lamar? I'm enjoying all the news coming out now about Deshaun Watson. Now you know it's really done in Cleveland because all the leaks are coming out. Did you see that article? No.

There's a big, long article. I guess my timeline is different. I get a lot of Browns news. I was going to say. They're just going to, like I told Hunter, they're just going to leave him in front of a fire station in Cleveland somewhere just like a baby. Just like, get this out of here.

Well, he's already used to laying like a baby. Yeah, that is true. And yeah, now there's just a big, long article about how he never would be able to learn the offense even, and they were begging the GM, you've got to sign Flacco just to at least teach him the offense because Flacco picked it up in like 30 days, and this guy, he's been here three years, and he can't pick it up. Just a lot of Blake putting gold bond on laying down. Roy Jones Jr. is 56.

Gribble once got an OJ liner or tried to get an OJ liner at his fight. Okay. Didn't 50 Cent claim that he can't read? Floyd Mayweather. Oh, my bad. Floyd Mayweather in one of the best back and forth online. Squabble. Yeah.

It really got heavy when the Ice Bucket Challenge was going on. Have you seen that clip? That's the one that really. Yeah. Like, we can't play it, but 50's like, fuck this bucket of ice. He's like, I'll give $100,000 to your favorite charity. You can read a page at this Harry Potter book. Dumps the bucket of ice.

Good stuff. Great stuff. You want to hear Gribble talking to OJ at the fight? Yeah, why not? There's no way in hell I thought he'd do it. That was awesome. He's signing an autograph now. That's me telling to un-gribble.

Just butt in there and go, just go, hey, who do you got in the fight? All right. Hey, Juice, who do you want in the fight tonight? I don't know. I like them both. Roy's a friend. It's hard for me to think he can beat a heavyweight, but I'm hoping he can because Ruiz is a good man. That's right.

I think it was in L.A. and we just saw O.J. walking in the concourse. Like, Gribble, go up to O.J. And he did. And he didn't do anything. He didn't kill him or anything. No, he was fine. I think there's a lot of bad, a lot of misconceptions about OJ. Number one day for Domino's pizza delivery.

The OJ chase? Mm-hmm. Wait, number one what? That was their busiest day in history. That's a great fact. Yeah. Why they don't use that as a promotion? That's like we need, we've said we need more people suing us and get in the washington

post like we got a lot of subscriptions and all that we're currently working on a couple of tax related crimes so let's see how that works out yeah we'll be fine and if we're not then uh dan hurley 53 uconn head coach. He's crazy, right? Yeah, I think so. And it was his wife that was turned into the female Russell Westbrook. Oh, wow. What a moment. Is she black?

No, not at all. But for some reason, they saw Dan Hurley's wife doing an interview and thought, she needs to be turned into Russell Westbrook. Okay, I might have been ball sacked on that one. You might. Yeah. Because I told you guys, I've definitely seen a woman that looks just like Russell Westbrook. And I feel like Rob is feverishly looking for that right now because we once had that picture.

But I kind of stand by it. Tell us if you get that. We will go to Kate Moss is 51. You could be my black Kate Moss tonight. I don't really know what she does. And Lin-Manuel Miranda, 45. Ah, yeah. Just a strippy rapper.

Yeah, not a fan personally. I know he wrote a bunch of Moana, but I don't know. He just reminds me of political science. You know what I mean? What did he do that everyone loved? Hamilton? Yeah. He's got a real Bill Nye the Science Guy vibe to him, though.

Then everyone thought he was great, and then now it's like, this guy sucks. Yeah. It's the way it goes. Buono is good. Is good. And Dr. Laura Schlesinger. Oh.

Is 78. Of Bush. Yes, she once had, at the height of her powers, which I think was probably the mid or late 90s, when she was a well-known advice talk show host. I have my take on the day mug right here. Oh wait, there is the female Russell Westbrook.

Which is very clearly just Russell Westbrook's face imposed. I feel like if you just took every WNBA player and put them together. But Dan saw that and was like, this woman looks exactly like Russell Westbrook. I mean, she does. Yeah, she does. Like on Monday, and you were like, what? I didn't see it. I'm like, oh, you got to search it, man.

It's really. Just so you guys know, if you just search Dr. Laura Schlesinger Bush, it's just a bunch of times she was talking about George W. Bush. It's not her pubes. Yeah, search nude. Some naked photos came out.

Rob's not as excited to search for those photos. Do you have those back there? God, that was... That looks just like Russell Westbrook yeah it's crazy that is that is that's hard to get through life this is an insane Bush I was right about that that day just like being ugly is one of the worst disabilities in this country because you can't complain about it it's embarrassing do You know, like... Like, that lady can't go home and be like...

That's not a real lady! It's not a real lady? Well, it's a real lady, but it looks... It's AI. Oh, it's AI. That's a... I didn't know that. You got ball sacked right here.

Yeah, I was... These guys are making fun of me saying it's not real. I'm still saying it's real. Oh, okay. Okay. So you and me say it's real. I took that as real. I mean, I just... I felt bad for her. I'm still saying it's real. Oh, okay. Okay. So you and me say it's real. I took that as real. I mean,

I felt bad for her. I felt an emotion. Blake, I just looked at the internet and there's some debate. Yeah. So I think it's just like the Monty Hall problem with you. Boy, he is so defensive that I just didn't buy into the Monty Hall problem right away. You don't buy into mathematical facts. I'm sorry, Lewis. Not within 15 seconds of you explaining it to me.

Give me a minute. Yeah, I got real lost in the Monty Hall thing. Russell Westbrook, I felt bad for that woman. I'm glad that's AI. Never got a free drink. Never got a free drink. Somebody for everybody, though, man. Yeah, that's true.

Would you have sex with the Russell Westbrook woman? If she looked like Russell Westbrook? But it was the greatest love you could ever have. Sure. Okay. Born in the Stay Now Dead, Frank Zamboni, who invented the modern ice resurfacer. I was about to say. But that sounded weird.

Like, that didn't roll off the tongue. Yeah. Yeah. Dead on the Stay Still Dead. I like how Lawrence is like, oh, yeah, I was about to say. Yeah, I was like, Zamboni, okay. Yeah. No, he should die.

He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die.

He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die.

He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die.

He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die.

He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die.

He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die.

He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He should die. He still dead. Pauline Phillips. She was a lady who is known as Dear Abby, the columnist. Okay. Didn't her daughter take over? Yes.

She now does Dear Abby, just her daughter. God, how did you know that so fast? I don't know. I think I read something about it once. I don't know. Nepotism in advice journalism. 2017 died on this day. Eugene Cernan, the last man to walk on the moon.

Terrible name. No one knows who you are? Yeah. God, he doesn't even really look that stoked to be an astronaut in this photo either. Twelve men. Of course, it's Twelve men. Of course, it's all men. Have walked on the moon. Pretty good body count for the moon.

I'll take it. Twelve? How many can we name? Oh. Buzz. Buzz? It's a gimme. All right.

One of the first two. Sirhan, Sirhan. Sorry, now we're just playing. We're already playing? Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Michael Jackson. The governor of... Oh, yeah.

Mike Huckabee. Not Mike Huckabee. The Virginia governor. Ralph Northam. Yeah. John Glenn. No. John Glenn never walked on the moon.

Yeah, if we go all the Roughnecks, it's Bruce and Ben Affleck. Tom Hanks almost made it. Alright, no one wants to play. Isn't it sad that we don't know? I bet like my mom would think it was sad.

Like, oh, those are the American heroes. There's more people that think the moon landing didn't happen than that can name all 12 off the top of their head. That's 100% true. I'm looking at one right here. I bet Jake could name them all if they didn't hit a golf ball off the moon.

If they would have just thrown a football up there or shot a basketball, maybe he'd be in. Yeah. Ooh, we should get Brandon Aubrey up there. shot a basketball, maybe he'd be in. Yeah. Ooh, we should get Brandon Aubrey up there. Kick a football into space? Yeah. It's a great idea. I wonder if he'd do that.

You guys think this is totally normal? We haven't been back in over 50 years? LeBron will be the first man back. Oh my god. It does seem weird. Doesn't it seem weird that Elon hasn't done it? Like, hey, I thought you were doing all this space stuff. Like, you're saying I'm going to go to Mars and build a colony?

Hey, first just touch down on the moon. Let's just see if we can do that. Baby steps. What are you saying, though? Are you on the side, maybe, that it was fake? If we haven't done it on that? I'm just saying. Interesting.

Seems like something if you figured out you could do, you'd be like, holy shit. Let's go up there all the time. Let's figure this out. Yeah. Like put some air, like something. Like as soon as everybody was like, we think it's fake, you think America would be like, we'll show you. Yeah, exactly.

You know what? Just pop up. Let's do one next week. Let's put a greenhouse up there. Let's just see. Can we grow some stuff? Yeah. I've been to like Mahea and I don't really care about going back.

That's true. That's a good point, I guess. I'm kind of just over. Maybe the moon sucks. Yeah, the moon does kind of suck. And I saved one for last. It's like it's Branson. You're like, it had its day.

Or it's not doing it anymore. I'm predicting of all of us sitting here One person will be very excited And say this is a hero for them Died on this day In 2010 Glenn W. Bell The founder of Taco Bell

Wow I didn't know that's what it was named after Yeah I never knew it was named after a dude White guy? Glenn? I mean, his name's Glenn, yeah. All right. I'm still mad about the Chihuahua.

Yeah, that was weird. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? The Yoquiero Taco Bell Chihuahua. What are you mad about? I don't know. I just feel like Mexicans never get our turn. We never get our turn to get mad.

When was the last time you saw a Mexican that was like, we got to stop doing this? So you're mad at Taco Bell for using... No, I'm mad that you guys weren't mad. That's what happens in Mexicans. Wait, what are we mad about? It was a little bit of an odd...

It was too racist? It was a bit racist. We were all like, ha ha ha, yo quiero Taco Bell. Nobody cared. I didn't care dude yeah dude no doubt my dad wanted the mob the internet mob to get up and just to see just just latinos we don't have like a spokesperson we don't have maybe it's a language barrier that's what we don't have that's truly the story of bassett getting fired is it's like oh my god they got they got they got one done you know but no okay no guy we know yeah he tweeted um about the spurs big mavs fan who worked he was actually a former major league pitcher gave up uh barry bonds is a

record-breaking home run to him but he was in his cups a little bit and tweeted like oh hope all the dirty mexicans in san antonio enjoy this win oh well see that's once again not funny no that's the problem with it it wasn't yeah that problem with it You gotta be a little bit funny I bet my dad In the 90s, completely Separate from wanting Taco Bell Or being at a Taco Bell I bet you his buddies called him and he answered

And was just like, yo, kiddo, Taco Bell And they were like, what's that? How many Mexans does it take To cut down the basketball? Something, you know? But not that. Well, you're only half Mexican, right? Yeah, but I'm completely upset.

You shouldn't be that mad. Yeah, you're right. And that was Today in History. What was your thing? He was trying to put together the best white football team. Oh, yeah. But it's like not. It can't be whites versus everyone.

It has to be black guys versus everyone. So, again, like Islanders, they're playing team white, especially since they're all Mormon. I was playing around about the metaphor the other day, and I haven't finished it yet, but just the idea. So, like every football game I watch, I keep looking for it, but how I think it's funny that offensive lines tend to be white and defensive lines tend to be black.

Is that so? I mean, I think statistically it's got to be close to true, right? Your highest concentration of white players is going to be on the offensive line. How's the black center doing? No, I mean, again, to reference Compton's thing, he's going through it. He's like, tackle, center, all of them. Yeah.

We'll just take all of them. Are there black centers? Like in my head, I can't think of any. We had Andre Girard for a while. Was he mainly a center? He was a guard who played some center in my head. He played center. Pouncey in Pittsburgh.

There's not many. Interesting. There's got to be some racism there. Of course. Like calling out the line, something, whatever. Yeah. I mean, they're smart enough to not want another man jiggling their bowls. All right, well, go see Lawrence tomorrow night or something.

And Saturday. Yes, tomorrow and Saturday, Hyenas. And check out my special. It's on YouTube. Tell your friends. It's very good. Tell all your friends. Adios, mofo.

We got to go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my videos. What a day. Oh, what a day. Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael Trapp dream. I want to know. I want to know. I want to know. Michael Trapp dream. I want to know.

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