The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 1-23-25: Schottenheimer is a smokescreen, Emmitt Smith Roast, and undercover Deion Sanders

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneComedians Jimmy Nelson and Scott Crisp join us today as we discuss whether the Brian Schottenheimer rumors are just a big smoke screen. Plus, would the 2003 Shaq Roast of Emmitt Smith hold up today? And Jimmy explains why firefighters sometimes have boners (00:00) - Open: With Jimmy Nelson and Scott Crisp (12:17) - Cowboys: Dan believes Schotty is a red herring (26:40) - The 2003 Shaq roast of Emmitt Smith (01:05:20) - Big Thursday Viewer Mail bag (01:20:53) - Gummy Thoughts: The "I'm done with" list (01:45:48) - Today in Twitter: Firefighter erections (01:56:09) - News: Snow in the gulf coast (02:11:08) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at Patreon.com slash The Dumb Zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per

week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program. Hello there, I'd like to talk to you about our friends at Fair Lease. Fair Lease, that's where you're gonna lease your next vehicle. Blake is currently going down this path with Fair Lease. Tell us all about it, Blake. I found out what white glove means. It means they bring it to you and they like hand detail. Well, it's white glove service.

Oh. White glove is just the color of a glove. Yeah, but they have those. Okay, so white glove service, they're taking care of everything for you. No, Matthew's taking care of me. Setting up some test drives, he's giving me some pricing, and giving me the best deal possible. Really great customer service over there at Fair Lease. That's probably how they got the name. White Glove Service.

It is fair. It is fair. When you do go to fairlease.org, click Request a Quote. And then this part is important. Select the dumb zone on the How Did You Hear About Us page. It pops up. That is what you need to know and that Fair Lease is also having us out at a remote February

7th that'll be at the Haas Modo Museum it's gonna be a big time a big to-do courtesy of Fair Lease and Fair Lease dot org. Hey coming up on today's dumb zone we have guests Jimmy Nelson and Scott Crisp, they're comedians. Will they be funny? Now you'd have to be funny or something, like I don't know. Waka Waka. That's the deal with the Jews.

There you go. That's funny. Yeah. And we go over the Emmet Smith celebrity roast. Yeah, and Cowboys head coaching candidates. Oh, yeah Firefighters are probably have erections when they're giving you CPR. That's today on the dumb zone Kind of a different open today Kind of a different open today. Future Us.

Future Us just said some stuff. I hope. We'll see how that goes. That's our plan anyway. Happy Thursday. Hi everyone. I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jake Kemp.

I'm Blake Jones. Along with Rob Schickring Rob Chickering, Video Man. You have a mic? Did you have a update on where you've been? Also in studio, comedians Jimmy Nelson and Scott Crisp. Wow. We're in our DZ TV studios today local comedians regional

Upgraded to regional. Oh, yeah Are you also a fireman Scott? No, I'm oh actually I am and Sims Okay, they just gave me that job. I was telling Jimmy that we've become colleagues They just gave me that job. I was telling Jimmy that we've become colleagues. Sim's still cooking. Also in studio sit in Cassie Dawson and husband Jack. We'll hear from them in closing remarks perhaps. But yeah, Rob. I said maybe.

Yes. Has been out of town. Yes I was. At the best inauguration ever. The best. So what were you doing? Everybody was saying it was the best. I was working for the Blaze, Glenn Beck's company,

and they did two days of broadcast up there at the inauguration. Did you see Barron? No, but I'm fascinated with it. Oh, I'm on a Barron kick right now. What a big fella. Yeah. Did you see the Barron clip where he went up to Biden and then Biden had the stink face look on his face after?

He walked away. No, it's incredible The only barren clip I saw is when Trump shattered him out and he stood up and did like a very Manhattan version of the Hulk Hogan thing Very pinky out. Let me hear. Let me hear it. He looked dope as hell. He looks just like Ivanka. Like he's got her features. Yeah, he's a good looking kid. I think he's probably the supreme leader in 20 years.

Oh, emperor? Yeah, I like it. What's he 18? 18 now? Yeah, I know he's about to start college. And Trump has said that that's how he ended up on Rogan and Dio and all that stuff. Because Barron said, hey, these are good shows.

Barron's crypto kid. Is that why he did the coin? That's what they say. So were you in the room itself? No, no, we were in Virginia. We didn't go anywhere near that mess. Oh, okay. We stayed pretty far away from it.

But I have a bunch of friends of mine who were working Tech in there the guy was I know a guy who was doing the steady cam in the rotunda He was working that was pretty cool to see the video from that Wild setup it was a it was a scene. I like I told Jake earlier. It's the only president I've ever seen it has merch It's incredible like people were on the airplane when I was flying out, lady had this big Trump necklace on and just... You got to support your team. It's incredible.

Did you see any of the shoes? Like jerseys? No, no shoes. Were those real? The gold shoes? Oh, the Trump shoes. I forgot about that. No, I did not see the shoes. It was pretty cold. People were pretty bundled up. I know about the Bible. The...

It makes me feel me feel Greenwood Bible right it makes me feel better about some of our shameless like hey get our calendar now hey buy this like look what I think you got to do it I personally think that if we're gonna try to look at the positives the end of shamelessness should be like the hallmark of the Trump era. Like nobody should feel bad about hocking anything. Yeah, I mean they sell miracle water. Yeah, right.

To the elderly. Yeah. About saying anything, hocking anything. Grabbing anything, even if, cause if you're famous, you know. Let's do Jake coin. Yeah, I feel like that would tank. So Glenn Beck's pretty pleased, I would imagine that. do Jake coin yeah i feel like that would tank

so Glenn Beck's pretty pleased? I would imagine that. Yeah it was a pretty uh... pretty party atmosphere in that space you know the one thing i can say is it seems like this uh... this round of trump is a little different it feels like just like they've got their ass together they really came in with a plan and that sounds awesome, you know Very excited for them to learn efficiency

Yeah, they say last time they that's always gone well historically. Yes, the theory is last time They didn't actually think they were gonna win, right? Yeah, but this time felt pretty good about it. And once we do Yeah, like we're ready. We went to the one debate. Yeah, like, Trump went to the one debate, and was like, holy shit, I have to hire some people. Like, this guy's dead. Like, we're golden. That was an all-timer. Everyone's being like, oh, shit.

Yeah, that might have been the most active my group texts have been. That debate? Like, even including sports, like, in a long time. Oh, yeah. Like, just all of us looking down at being like we all watching this this is this is happening He's dead right that must have been a great day for Glenn Beck to just cuz that's it feels like Usually the debates are kind of even and you're but then you're like alright Well, I'll just take my side for my guy

Yeah, you're really fully believe like Glenn Beck's no like just pimp for my guy. But you don't really fully believe, like Glenn Beck's known, like, I can't believe I'm seeing, like, this is a, this is the one where your liberal text threads are like, this sucks, we're all dead. You've never heard that. Yeah, that was tough. Didn't go too well.

Actually stayed president until just a few days ago. I don't know if people fully realized that. Another Texas comedian, C.J. Landry, had a very funny joke about that. Oh, we should have him on. Yeah. Yeah. There we go.

I forgot to say hi to Blake when I walked in. I got the target on my back today, ladies and gentlemen. But he was talking about how he's unfit to run, but he's still president. And they're like, that's like, if your buddies, you're out drinking, and you're like, man, Steve's fucking wasted. And then you're all like, wait, Steve's driving.

How did we end up here? And then the tagline at the end is like, yeah, but Steve's gotta drive, otherwise it's gonna be a lady. Yeah. Okay. It was in the right lane. Write that name down. They're going very slow.

That guy sounds funny. C.J. Landry, a super regional comedian. Okay. Yeah. Well, on today's show, we generally, we do a lot of sports and stuff. So I guess we have to touch on the Cowboys looking back at your guys podcast so you guys do a podcast together yes sir oddball history yeah and as I was scrolling through it I did

notice one of your earlier episodes was ten cent beer night which I'm a big fan yes that was a fun one. And was a fan of the fact that you didn't just do surface level look at it. You got the behind the scenes. You knew stuff was going on the week prior. A lot of people would just look at Tencent Beer Night and figure, oh, just the beer.

Yeah, I loved getting to know that, the whole back story. They knew there was going to be a brawl before it was even Tencent Beer Night. And they had done Tencent Beer Night a few times that they knew there was gonna be a brawl before it was even 10 cent beer night. And they had done 10 cent beer night a few times previous to that, and nothing had happened. So they did it after and it was okay. They put a limit on how much you could get and it was okay. Right.

But he always wants to blame alcohol. Right, yeah. Harmless old alcohol. Mining its own business. Yeah. Just helping everybody out. But also just from going through eyeball history, it seems like you're more of the sports guy. I'm pretty into sports.

Yeah, definitely. Former D3 baseball player. I don't like to brag on him. But that's right. Is that right? Oh, yeah. I did a little pitching over in Irving at University of Dallas, the very Catholic college. That whenever tell anyone about it they go you mean UTD and you

have to go no. Yeah that's wild. There's something called the University of Dallas? Yeah it's a very nice private school. Catholic school. It's on top of a hill across from where Texas Stadium used to be. Okay. Very religious Catholic school. Did you end up there just because of baseball? Just because of baseball. Just because of your love of, okay. Not my love of Catholicism. Of popes and demons.

No, I was the token Protestant at University of Dallas. That's the diversity. I didn't listen to your episode yet on the real Rudy, but he's an asshole, right? Yeah Yeah, okay good hole and he's in a new commercial now, too I just saw him he's in one of the one of those commercials where they get all the old college football guys They got Rudy shameless. Yeah, Dan's been banging this drum for looks bad I I've been banging it since I met him. Yeah. He was an S, it was like 15 years ago. He was not a good guy.

Well, he got in trouble with the SEC for he started a beverage company. And it had a funny name I forgot. It was like, Rudy Bev? It was like, it was just called Rudy. And it had a silly tagline about overcoming the odds. Yeah.

It was just kind of a knockoff of Gatorade. Sports drink called Rudy with a tagline, dream big, never quit. It's nothing even in a punny way to do with beverages. But they pretty much, he faked all these research reports about it having medical benefits for recovery and he was just faking them and got millions and millions of dollars and then kind of went,

I'm gonna leave now. Let's assume being scrappy. Scrappy, that's right. That's the scrappiness we appreciate on the football field. Nobody believed he could have done it. But when it comes to falsifying science records, everyone gets mad. All right, we have a big deal today.

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Do whatever you want with it. And then all of a sudden you're like, wouldn't that be fun? One day doors and closets, that's cool. All right, well thank you to our new sponsor. It's so cute. Look at our new little one day door. Oh my gosh, it made a little poopy. It's not solid yet though.

I remember when you were having that talk. Yeah, it would just leak out. Wasn't it you and Killer would always talk about your kid's poop? No, that was just Killer. I just, it just leak out. Wasn't it you and Killer would always talk about your kids' poop? No, that was just Killer. I just, it was only Killer. Walk into the room, they're like, yeah, it's still a little, not quite solid yet.

And we're like, all right, what are you guys talking about? God, I don't miss any of that. The yellow, the seed thing always blew me away. What do you mean? Like, it's mustardy colored, and there's little, looks like seeds almost when they're like real newborns You're supposed to feed it better than that. I was gonna say you may have like hey I don't know you have a defect she gets a bad titty milk

But this kid was just spitting out some nice stone ground mustard for a couple weeks. I do have a cowboy opinion. Yeah Because it seems like everybody's saying the wind is blowing Brian Schottenheimer way and a lot of opinions are just like a sigh and then a head shake and kill me. I'll hear that from different people and then I'll hear the you know just this and that about Brian Schottenheimer. I've heard nobody say this, but this is what I believe. This is a red herring. They're tossing this out there. Okay. Because- Set the bar low?

Yeah, so they're going to end up hiring Kellan Moore. Yeah. And when Kellan Moore takes the job, had Brian Schottenheimer not been in the mix, we would have been like, the guy who you ousted because they couldn't, he couldn't get CD Lamb the ball in San Francisco. The guy who you thought Mike McCarthy would be a better, like no creativity. He hasn't really gone to Philly and done anything wild.

You know, they were doing the tush push before he got there. He hasn't invented anything. Does he look like a leader of men? He's not vocal. He's not Dan Campbell. That's what you would have said two weeks ago. Now, if they hire Kellen Moore tomorrow, you'll be like, oh. Sigh of relief.

Yeah, God, a guy who has done something. He won 80 college football games. He knows DAC. a guy who has done something. He's won 80 college football games. He knows DAC. He knows how things work here. He's called play, like has Brian Schottenheimer called plays for the Cowboys? Never. No. No. The only thing going for him is his last name. Like even his resume looks horrible. Wasn't he the quarterback coach or the OC for Jacksonville under Trevor Lawrence's first year? They were like 30th in the NFL in offense.

The numbers are not good. Yeah. Anywhere. You're kind of having to more. I think they've just been handcuffing Shottie everywhere he's been. But once they give him the full reign, he's just going to go nuts.

Like, I can't imagine Brian Schottenheimer in front of the team giving that, you know, the hard knocks preseason speech welcome and here's how we're gonna be and here's what, you know, like think of the Dan Campbell bite in your kneecaps but then just think of anybody who you've ever seen do that. Or the Robert Sala strange thing about the Eagles. He kind of lost his train of thought halfway through it, but Eagles fly high. What was this?

When the Jets had the hard knocks and he was given a first day speed. Oh yeah, yeah, that did fall flat. Yeah, maybe he'd be more like that. Whatever, but I just can't see Micah Parsons being like, I'll run through a wall for this guy. Like he might say, who is he? No, and ultimately, he's been here for three years. Sometimes that's where a coordinator comes in.

That's why it didn't matter that Micah McCarthy's not that rah-rah, because you had Dan Campbell, or you have position coaches that get you fired up. It's more just that I am still dismayed that they can hire anybody for any amount of money they want and they end up on Brian Schottenheimer. That's crazy. You think this is an overcorrect from Deon?

Is Deon totally out of the question? Again, if you hired Deon right now, you'd be like, excellent. Well, it's not Brian Schottenheimer. When McCarthy turned him down, it seemed like the next day it was Jerry's hired Deon right now, you'd be like, excellent. He's not Brian Schottenheimer. When McCarthy turned him down, it seemed like the next day it was Jerry's calling Deon, and people were getting really excited. But if you were to hire Kellen Moore after Deon,

the rumors of Deon, then you would be disappointed. Interesting, yeah. So maybe you got to come back a little bit, interview closely. Why don't you just hire a co- who cares about all this? It's the craziest thing. Because you need talk, you need things happening,

you need the buzz. There's not, Brian Schottenheimer is so missionary. Like he just reminds, it's just a nice, a lot of eye contact. Scheduled eye contact. You got, your hair's so pretty tonight, babe. He might be hole cutting sheep. Get in his buddies and jump on the bed with him. He just soaks, soaks. He's a soaker.

Brian Sokenheimer. I don't think that's going to take off. But I do think he's getting hired now. I know a week ago we said something else. But they're having a second long interview with him. Edward said that the one interview they did with Kellen wasn't even that long. And I was not ever against Kellen Moore by the way I want him he's like

barren for me whenever he takes over I want everyone to know well he's on board but I know this is not going well I don't I don't believe it'll be Bryant like I just can't allow myself to believe that that uninspiring of a hire could have like a guy who not one other NFL team college team it's troubling I don't even know if a high school team would seriously consider. I tell you, our girl doesn't want him. You're rolling.

I was laughing looking at the Aaron Glenn to the Jets news because apparently Aaron Glenn was going to interview with the Saints and he never got on the plane. And part of the reason for that was that he told the ownership in New Orleans, I'm not sure about your GM, Mickey Loomis, who's been there forever, like forever forever. This is the guy my brother worked for.

And they were like, no, we don't think you should have control over that. So he was trying to make like a Shanahan play. Okay. And say like, we need to hire our own GM. And then they said no. So he came to the interview and took the Jets. I'm on the same page with. And something somewhat similar happened in Jacksonville where, oh, the Bucs OC was going

to interview with them. And then he backed out and they correspondingly fired their GM. Right, well wasn't that, who were they interviewing the week prior? I don't recall. Was it the guy from, the new Bears head coach? Ben Johnson. Was it Ben Johnson? They were interviewing somebody where,

I thought you're the one who told me that they had said. Well the owner had said, yeah, like if we get a coach. We have our GM in place, but it's not cement. That was weird. And he was sitting next to him? He was sitting on the, at least on a Zoom call with him and 10 days later they fired that guy. Yeah, like why was, if you were going to fire him,

you probably should have done it. I bring all that up to say that if anybody wanted to come here and said like, hey, I want to have a little more control, they're not even interviewing that guy. So Aaron Glenn was never an option. Fire station rumor so it's probably wrong and dumb but there's someone talking about Schottenheimer's a placeholder until Witton's ready to take it. So this is a thing. This is a thing. Yeah and he's going to be hired this time for something.

Yeah. We just don't know what, and the weird part is Brian Schottheimer's not that old. So like whenever they were, the idea apparently was that McCarthy would take their money, take a short deal, and they could shoehorn Witten onto him as like a coach in waiting and McCarthy was like, no, no to all of that.

And so now they have Whitten that they wanna bring on but they know they can't just make him the head coach. But it would work if they had like Mike Zimmer who's 70. But if you hire a guy who's the same age as Jason Whitten or within a decade older, that's very awkward. That's a cucking right there, folks. That's what's happening to Schottenheimer. Because it's a job that they'll give it to him

and he's not getting offers anywhere else, like you said. That is where we are. It's boring. Baffling. Boring and baffling. Yeah. Still is where we are. It's boring. Baffling. Boring and baffling. Yeah. Still our year though. Still our year.

Rebuilding, Dak's gonna be sharp, he's rested. I mean if Washington can do it. There we go. They sold their team. They had to sell their team. Are you fired up? Rob, are you still a fan of Washington? Rob grew up there.

What do you mean still a fan? Like what is he like? I'm only riding if Dan Snyder's here. No, no, I don't know. Like, you moved here a million years ago, and you know. Yeah, yeah. I just didn't know if you still. Still a Redskins fan, absolutely.

OK. OK. Absolutely. Redskins. Are they allowed to say it? Did you sign the petition? Is that how it works? Yeah.

I can't say commanders. Oh, weekend working with Glenn Beck and he comes why is he wearing a headdress you should be doesn't break things when he runs and things you better you better watch out him I worry about him yes he's a small dude and he keeps throwing himself in the pile. You've got to be pulling for Washington this weekend as a Cowboys fan, right? Yeah. I think so. I feel like it's a toss up.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, because you actually think the Eagles have a chance and you don't want the Eagles. You can never root for the Eagles and Washington's been so bad Yeah, imagine that was different There are years ago. Yeah, I don't know but then again, that's when they had buddy Ryan and all that kind of stuff That's a baby pretty awesome bounties. Don't you want the guy that beat you to beat everybody that kind of line of thinking Well, a lot of people beat the cobblestone kind of line of thinking.

Well, a lot of people beat the cobbles. They both beat them. Okay, all right, bad year, bad year for that. So we're all still rooting for the Ravens. Yeah, the Saints, they were still, remember when the Saints rolled them? The Mavs are also F'd, we'll talk about that tomorrow. That's, I think I actually said something to you guys two weeks ago.

I said, hey, it's all good. Sometimes you just get bad luck. Nothing they could have done. They're cooked. They have Oklahoma City tonight in Boston Saturday. I forgot. With no lively. Yeah.

For like a long time. I'm not the biggest basketball fan. Yeah, like, three months, right? Yeah. Randomly watched a game, and it was the one where Luca and Kyrie were out. Cool, that's been a bit. And I remember it was on, and I was like,

I don't know anyone. Yeah. I don't know who these people are. They definitely remade their roster, but they're good when they're healthy. Yeah, they're good now. PJ Washington's awesome, Daniel Gafford is doing cool stuff. He had a big night the other night, but you gotta have lively

Yeah, turns out if you're 20 years old and growing into your 7'1 body, you're gonna get hurt a lot runs like a deer He's out. She's looking like grape ape walking around. It sucks. Can we tank yet? That's a foolish comment. I saw someone bring up how mad Luca would be if we, because he was so mad when we tanked three games. Yeah, but it got him lively. It did. It worked.

Got him to the finals. He was still upset about it. Yeah. Well, he's just a competitor. Let's tell you about Ownwell. Ownwell.com slash The Dumb Zone. They help you save on property taxes. In fact, right now, apparently property taxes due January 31st. So you still have time to go to OwnWell.com slash The Dumb Zone dot com slash the dumb zone and put in your information it takes like three minutes and they save an average of eleven hundred dollars actually eleven

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Yeah, phone, internet, they check it all. Once you're an Ownwell customer, you're in there for a day. Maybe they can get you a better sub stack or Patreon deal. Who knows? Sure. Check it out at Ownwell.com slash the dump zone. I actually use Ownwell. Yeah.

Property taxes. Look at that. Yeah. And they like the automatically. What do you mean actually as if like, I can't even, like, Yeah, of course you do. You can sound like it's a fly by night.

It's a big reputable company and they do fine work. And I like they automatically like just keep doing it for you. Yeah. And if they don't save you any money because the second year they were just like hey we did it again Blake Blake gets emails out of nowhere like oh I forgot auto-appeal Wow what an organic spot yeah got a new haircut low bunny I did look at that I'm trying to be like Jake. Kind of odd, though. I'm overdue. When it's 20 degrees outside every day to get a haircut.

Why? It just feels like, I don't know. What the winter coat grow in. You want to let it grow out a little bit. What are you, a bear? Like, you have to go. I don't know. So, today, it is Thursday.

We got the big Thursday mailbag and all that stuff. But I don't know why we did this, but we dusted off an old video. The Emmett Smith Celebrity Roast. It was actually called Shaq's All-Star Celebrity Roast in 2003. And this has some history with us in a way. some history with us in a way. Like when we worked at the Ticket, we used to do a week-long camp out every week, or a compound. And I think we were at the compound one year. And I told everybody, oh, man, I remember

when I watched this Emmett Smith Celebrity Roast, it's really great. Like Moose Johnston kind of bombs and there's a lot of really funny stuff in it. And so I bought the DVD online, put it in, we're all watching it. And so if you're holed up in a house with 10 different guys and you say,

hey, I've got the thing we're gonna watch tonight. Risky. Like it's better be good. Well, so we put this in, we fast forward to Emmett or to Moose Johnston, and it's edited to be nice to Moose Johnston, and it was not him bombing. Ooh. So it was me bombing with Gordo telling, you know,

his commentary on where's the funny part? And you know, and I'm sitting there sweating. That's brutal. And all this kind of stuff. Well, somehow you found the, probably really easily with a search, you found the actual, cause I watched this live.

It was a live, like a pay-per-view event. Really? In 2003. Bring back pay-per-view comedy. This is before roasts were kind of back. And it is the first time I ever saw Jeff Ross, who would become the Roastmaster General and well-known for his roasts.

But this, like, I don't think anybody knew who Jeff Ross was, mainstream people, at this time. But he is great on this. Also, the stuff I want to play you, we will determine, could it fly today? Or maybe could it have flown three weeks ago? And now today, anything flies. Yo, so a funny sidebar on that,

at the boxing class this morning, right? The little workout suburban mom thing I do. A lady had her gloves like in the way. Is it mostly ladies? It's a lot, on the ground. And a guy who needed to get by just kinda moved him out of the way with his feet. And somebody goes like laughing jokingly,

was like, I guess Chivalry's dead. And the guy who wears the Garth Brooks Central Park headset who leads the crowd was like, not anymore, Chivalry's back this week. And so what I'm doing is I'm looking out for these little signifiers in the culture of people saying that hey, things are different now. Catalog them on your own and let's talk.

It's amazing that noted woman respecter and lover, Donald Trump, has ushered back in a new era of chivalry. And everyone was like, that's right, it is back. Well, maybe this fits your bit, because maybe we wouldn't have played this. Yeah, maybe not. Last year, but it is, just re-listening to, fits your bit because maybe we wouldn't have played this. Yeah, maybe not. Last year, but it is just re-listening or re-watching it is a bit jarring to me.

Also there's something I had misremembered, but here we are and we're going to get everything right. So it's the Shaq All-Star Celebrity Roast of Emmett Smith. Okay. Who I think was still a player, hadn't yet broken Walter Payton's record, I believe. He's still a player in the NFL. I wonder what brought this about then. I don't know. Like Brady was retired. Oh, when he got roasted. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why this happened. Yeah, why was Shaq involved? Um, because he's Shaq. I don't know. No.

Shaq just loves putting on comedy shows. Yeah. There's like a million comedy shows. Shaq All-Stars, like, he's like, I think he wanted to be like his own Def Jam kind of thing. Okay. For a while. Interesting. Jamie Foxx is the host. And here, let's just start with Moose Johnston, what I had remembered. This is what I had tried to present to my ticket buddies many years ago.

This wasn't it. But this is it. It's Moose Johnston and he's in a room full of comedians. But they bring up an athlete, you know, every other guy up full of comedians but they bring up an athlete you know every other guy up on the stage like they bring up a comedian then athlete comedian then athlete comedian the athlete when it's Michael Irvin okay it's okay it's not terrible but it's it's not comedian level can I ask one other question the way that this would work now is the non-comedians would have everything written for them. Because it's such a popular thing now,

it's gonna be on Comedy Central, it's part of the culture. Back then, would Steve Berline have a writer? I'm guessing that they don't. Well, you tell me after you watch Moose and tell me if he had a writer from Comedy Central helping him. Chris Rock was his writer. All right, I'll... I say the same.

Love to see Daryl Johnson do Chris Rock written material. What's the difference between... All right, I'll fire this up, Rob, see if we can get this working. You don't even know him. Ladies and gentlemen, this guy I've known for a long time. Who's this? Who's this?

Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's this? Who's looks great. We hang out all the time. Give guy was Willie Beeman in that movie on any given Sunday, Jamie. Jamie, you did a hell of a job portraying an NFL player in that movie, thanks. Good job. You sent the game back 15, 20 years. I'm not mad at it. All right. Emmett Smith. Sat down, tried to think of some things. It's very difficult to roast a guy like this. He's very clean. I know you've been pampered your whole career. The success is due to some incredible blocking up front.

You took the joke. A very questionable work ethic from day to day. You know, I know these things, but the whole country doesn't need to know this. I can't talk about it during a game. It's unethical, it's petty. But then I thought, you know what? This isn't a game. So, I first heard of Emmett Smith when I was in college. Cover story of the USA Today coming out of Escambia High School. I'm trying to do everything I can to just make my way through college football here's can you pause it real quick what's this like is I think Shaq

is just having a conversation with two next to all the right okay all right they're so bored with this they're yeah already yeah they're only one minute in Shaq did say get to to the jokes. After a couple jokes. I put pressure on this non-comedian. And he's on the cover of USA Today. Little did I know what would happen years down the road is our paths crossed. Now my career in Dallas started off pretty good.

Not bad, right coach? Started off some special teams work, worked my way into a blocking fullback role. I started off pretty good. Not bad, right coach? Started off some special teams work. Worked my way into a blocking fullback role. The last four games of the year I was the feature bat. Go figure that, huh? Crazy. Feature back on a 1-15 team.

But still, you know, feature bat. People want to laugh. People don't understand though, it was 1-15. I'm not mad at that one. Yeah. Very, very difficult to lose games 45 to 3 in those last few minutes. Okay. Oh, Jamie. Jamie's snoring now.

Okay. I let him go. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a computer guy. I'm not a comedian, I'm not going to take shots, I'm just going to talk about Emmett,

I'll talk to Jamie afterwards behind closed doors, we'll get this over with right now. Nice, a threat. If you see him with a star on his forehead later tonight, you know we got everything settled. Pretty good. Yeah, punched him with a Super Bowl ring. He has a Super Bowl ring with a star on it. This last month is Emmet gets ready to break Walter Payne's record. Purposeful middle finger there.

Don't like it. The one game that everybody wants to talk about is the Giants game of 1994. We go into the playoffs, it was the last game of the year, everything's on the line. If we lose the football game, we have to go on the road the next week as a wild card. If we win, we get a field and we get a bye. If you're a Cowboy fan, you remember the game. Emmet Smith basically carries the team the whole afternoon. Now they show Shaq.

He has fallen asleep on someone else who has fallen asleep. Moose is looking over at that. You hold him, I'll hit him. Emmett's in a tough place here. I just wish I could be there the day you break the record. And it honestly was hard to roast you because you are a quality person. Thank you, pal. Oh.

So at the very least, Moose realized graceful exit. Hey, this ain't going well, and he got out. Yeah, but when he was mapping it out in his head, how did he think it was gonna go? Like, there's probably not a lot of non-white, or a lot of white non-comedians there to begin with, right? It's probably just Poots. Yeah.

So he's going in, swimming upstream a little bit. And he's just. Talk about how you like big women. Yeah, exactly, you gotta have something. Start dancing. Yeah. So. Start dancing. Survive. So. Start dancin'.

Survive. Survival instincts have to kick in. That was brutal. You start entertainin'. And it's great too, cause a guy like Moose probably doesn't get embarrassed like that often. Oh, that sucks to be out of your element too. Yeah.

And just tell him like, I felt like that was not a set, it was like a speech you'd give at like a dinner you were at. Right, those laughs for that dinner, not bad. Yeah, like I had a couple punch lines in there, you know? Right, that is actually funny for that dinner. Yes.

But you were at a roast. Oh no. So let's go, the next guy up is, well I think might have been somebody else in between, but Jeff Ross. So nobody knows who Jeff Ross. So nobody knows who Jeff Ross is, really. The crowd, I would say 80% black. OK.

Like, it just feels like when they would pan to the crowd or maybe it's just the shot. Anyway, it's a, you just need to kind of know that as well if you're just listening. This is the funniest performance of the night and it's funny. There's also another funny performance I'm gonna play for you in a minute because it's not funny but this one is the funniest funny performance. Without further ado, Jeff Ross he's got hair he's not so fat tons of hair oh wow nice to see you back in men's clothes I got a haircut does this look bad you could tell me you know it's a bad. Does this look bad? You can tell me.

You know when it's a bad haircut, went halfway through the haircut, the guy just drops his scissors and he goes, fuck it. He goes, fuck this shit. This is alright. Nice to see you, Emmet. Thanks for having me. I was so excited to be here and see Shaq and Emmett and hang out with all these comedians. I feel like I died and went to Harlem. Ah. This ain't a roast, it's a barbecue.

Woo-hoo! Yeah! That looks like Wayne Brady. I don't know if that's racist or not. That's a colossi-ay! That does. I think that might be Wayne Brady, the things I'm afraid of though. I haven't seen this many black people in one place since Don King and Mike Tyson were handing out free turkeys.

Some of these niggas got mad. They got everybody slapping white in this motherfucker. Oh, he's code switching now. Yeah. No, but this is great. It's really an honor to be here at the Wayne's Brothers family picnic. I'll keep it short because Moose Johnson did all my shit. Okay. Okay, so it's good sir

Like Jamie said our Kelly wanted to be here, but he was our rested That guy went from fucking young pussy to being young pussy Good pedophile prison rake you don't get that combo very often. If they had just worn a priest collar, he wouldn't have these problems today. Got him. No offense. We have a white lady. Thank you. First reason is I'm a big, big fan of yours.

Second reason is Shaq sent me a beautiful letter saying he wanted me to come it was for charity and it was really from Shaq because it was signed S-H-A-C-K. Shaq man you look good you look good congratulations you're your knuckles look scraped. Did you walk here? Oh my god. Jack loves it. Come on, come on! I'm not saying anything! I'm not saying Jack looks like a gorilla, but I saw him trying to peel a microphone. Is he laughing?

Poor Shaq, he took me to see Sing Food and Roy last night, halfway through the White Tigers started barking at him. And I know Shaq, I know you're world champion, I know you're world champion. But you're so big and I know you're world champion. But you're so big and clumsy, watching you play basketball is like watching a retarded fuck. That's pretty straightforward. Hey, Cupid!

Come on, Shaq! Shaq, you take more bad shots than Jason Williams. Ooh, Jason Williams who killed his limo driver. That's, that's what I'm teasing you Shaq. You know that you were great in the green mile. You gotta admit your movies are bad, man. Look at me, all right? Stop making movies. Now memorize that and repeat it to Rick Fox.

Is he here? Then fuck him! But Shaq, you know, stick to basketball, that's your thing, you know? This year the Lakers swept the Nets like Joe Torey's gonna sweep this place up after we leave there's a hot crowd Jamie you warmed them up hey baby I'm with you Nate Newton wanna be here but he had trouble stuffing his weed into the overhead compartment. Got him. This must have been right there. Tropical. Jerry Jones wanted to be here but he had anything better to do. Troy Aikman wanted to be here

but he got a concussion opening the invitation. Holy shit. Yeah. Whoa! Emmett won't laugh at that. Emmett not approving. I have concern for my fans. This is a cool day, you got Jimmy Johnson, how about a hand for one of the best coaches here tonight? One of the best coaches here tonight? Jimmy the Dolphins called, they want their deposit back. Jimmy the Dolphins called, they want their deposit back. Ah, this is alright. But the real man of the honor tonight is living legend Emmett Smith, if I can get serious for a second. But Monique's right, don't you have a manager or agent to tell you about these commercials? You're a future Hall of Fame, you're doing commercials with an out-of-work puppet. What they couldn't get the robot from Lost in Space. He was doing elf commercials. Oh wow, gotta see that.

But you know we all can come up to the microphone and make fun, but the truth is every comic up here dreamed of one day being a Dallas Cowboy. And the only one who even came close was Monique. Oh, come on, Monique, though she's a big girl. Don't get your ass kicked in here now. You know, Monique was married to Calvin Watkins in this morning news. Cowboys beat reporter. Beat writer.

Wow. Did you guys know that? No. I did not know that. Media guys used to give pussy. It was a different time. Different age. Yeah.

You ready about the Cowboys I don't know roast barbecue whatever the fuck you call it. If I get up I heard Shaq's penis is so big right now. It's being roasted at Caesar's Palace Years ago I Saw you play at the Super Bowl in Atlanta and I was always rooting for Buffalo because they had lost a few in a row and I always root for the underdog but your family was sitting in the box right next to mine and they were throwing out so much love and cheering you on so hard and I started cheering for you and I've been cheering for you ever since. Much love Emmett Smith god bless

they're still laughing about Shaxx penis yeah oh man could that be done today of course it could oh yeah but yeah yeah there was one joke that couldn't but which one do you remember the one? That I don't know The whole punchline was like watching a retard fuck That's kind of what that in a movie what sort of movies you watch it. Yeah Is that even a tab Pornhub search Yeah, jeez. It wasn't that bad. Is that even a tab? You've probably seen that in a lot of movies. Is that a porn hub search? Ever since Pornhub got banned in Texas. Yeah.

I'll take what I can get. I've been going to the corners of the web I'm not proud of. All right? I'm empowering them. It's like when the NFL was on strike, and we were all watching CFL and just telling ourselves it was all right. It was on Rescue and we were all watching CFL. Yeah. Just telling ourselves it was all right. It was on rescue me. Okay.

Okay. This is William rescue. Now that. I remember that. Jeff Ross was arguably the funniest part of this, but this is also really funny. So this comedian is named Doug Williams. Not Super Bowl quarterback, Doug Williams.

Not the Super Bowl quarterback, but he's a comedian. So that's the thing about this. You got your comedians and then the sports guy comes up and it's like, oh, okay, maybe they're not gonna be as funny, that's why we got the comedians. I watch this clip once a year. So you're very familiar with this. This is one of my favorite comedy moments.

You know this? Just Jamie Foxx. Yeah. OK. Just, yeah. So in the stand-up, you guys are both stand-up comedians. In the stand-up world, this is well known. Very famous among comedians.

If you get booked for a job, you should prepare for that job. Yeah. Doug Williams came in not ready. Yeah, it was like, we learned from the Doug Williams thing, like Jamie Foxx was being really tame heckling Darryl Johnston. He was actually taking it easy because he wasn't a comic. With Doug Williams, we see Jamie Foxx with the gloves off.

OK. Here he is. Woo! Thank you. He is right. Nobody knows me. And I'm the only broke motherfucker on this panel. Everybody else came here to roast him and sniff. I came to this motherfucker for a deal. That's what I'm looking for.

I'd like to thank Shaq. Well actually Shaq didn't invite me. I snuck in this motherfucker and uh just blended in with everybody. I'm not gonna lie. I snuck in this motherfucker and just blend it in with everybody. Shaq, give it up for Shaq. You got to give it up for him. Give it up for him. Time out. Did you believe- Yeah, it's not going well. Yeah, I was just saying already I'm like, you sure this guy

does stand up? He's just kind of. I snuck in here joke, clearly had a lapse where he was like, oh wait, I wrote that snuck in here joke, let me tell that real quick. Yeah, yeah, I love that. Oh wait, yeah, yeah. Do you believe as big as he is,

this motherfucker complained all year about his toe And I can't believe somebody's seven because he's big and toes are a little yeah Y'all get it. That's not funny He complained about it so you could cut my foot off and I'd still run up and down the damn court For the kind of money they pay check really kind of money they pay you hurt your toe check For the kind of money they pay a check really kind of money they pay Big ass check is driving a little bitty Ferrari. Can you believe this big nigga can fit into a little bit of Ferrari? We're gonna do a lot of big and little Get you a real car. Oh

Here comes Jamie now overlapping Not a great response Oh, here comes Jamie. Jamie now over laughing. I thought that was funny, go ahead. Not a great response. Jamie. Get you real cops. And Jamie, we happy for you. You done been in what, two hit movies? Y'all get it, you been in two hit movies, we happy.

Cause you got off to a slow start, nigga. Ooh, gonna go at Jamie now. Nobody here saw Held Up or Bait. Did anybody here see Held Up or Bait? Nigga, thank God you got an Ali. Niggaga thank God you got an alley nigga. Thank God you got an alley And what's up Monique And what's up, Monique? Uh-oh. They was talking about big women.

I love big women, baby. Thank you, baby. You got to do it. I love big women. I love you because you're proud of the fact that you big. You better know it. I'm tired of all these skinny bitches who won't admit that big women look good. That's what I'm talking about.

I ain't big women that try to hide the truth. Okay, so what's his move here? Because now we know he's in. Get mode equal. Like, Jamie what's his move here? Because now we know he's in. Get Mo to eat on the side. Like Jamie Foxx is making fun of me. He's rattled and he's contractually obligated to do a period of time. Yeah.

So he's still hiding. Oh shit. So like you said, now he's trying to pander a little bit instead of roasting everybody along the way. He hadn't told a joke in a minute. Yeah. And he looked over at Moe D. And he just goes, just goes, buh, love big women. Yeah. And he looked over at me. And he just said some nice things. Just goes, buh, love big women.

Yeah. Yeah. Big is beautiful, right? You could tell it was just kind of spur of the moment, because as he's setting up the punch line, it appears the punch line is sometimes littler women don't admit that big women look good. Yeah.

Which is not a punch line. He took 90 seconds out of the set just to say a nice thing. No, he's trying to gather allies here. Yes. I need to get people on my side. I mean, because within one minute. It's bad. He's, yeah.

The main guy. He's got the host making fun of him. I don't, I. Like it's one thing if you're making fun of the non-comedian football player. Jamie Foxx was an accomplished musician, had a hit TV show, and was a very successful stand-up comedian prior to the movie career.

And to go at him like, this guy's a loser. Yeah. And even the entire room's like, Jamie kinda rules. Yeah, he's clearly like right after. The funniest guy here so far. It's like right after any given Sunday, and he's done all E. He's like already a movie star. Like it's not even. Yeah, he's like, oh any given Sunday, and he's done Ali. He's like already a movie star like it's not even yeah

He's like well. You're lucky you finally became a movie star Well, yeah, it usually takes a couple yeah films. Well. I'm looking at the time. I got the times marked How is he going to get through three more minutes? Oh poor love. I hate big women that try to hide the fact that they big. They always say I'm just big boned. No bitch you got regular bones with big ass meat wrapped around them. That's why I love you. Big boneless. Michael Irvin. Do you have any chance for him tonight? God told me to get everybody out of the way. I want to say this to Emmett Smith, man. I'm your conscience. Man, it sure did get hot in here.

Am I fucking up right now? I'm your conscience. I really don't need to be up here right now. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. My balls itch. When your brother starts making money you can't tell him shit. I'm your conscience. Alright. I wish I was in a movie with Jamie.

Maybe we could do 48 hours. You are right about that. 72 hours. I don't know. In fact, I need a cosigner. Can you cosign on the car for me? I just did another joke that didn't go over. I'm your conscience. Maybe I should say something nice about eminent wrap it up Maybe I should talk about how black people have to struggle. Yeah, that'll get them on my side

Thank you very much Jamie Foxx, thank you. I needed to hear about it. I appreciate it. I'm not Jamie Foxx. I'm your conscience. Anyway, the girls are looking at me like, who is this motherfucker? You'll never get a deal. I'm your conscience. Anyway. Anyway. I'm gonna say this in between.

Anyway, I'm gonna say this. Now we're being petty. Hey, it's a pleasure watching you, Slayz Man. I hope you break the record this season. Thank y'all very much for having me. I'm outta here. Alright, now I love y'all. Oh my god. Does he do the handshake?

Oh. That's so mean. Just watching a. Does he do the handshake? Oh. So mean. Just watching a guy beat up your dad and shaking his hand. Lex, please. Brutal. That's tough. Doug Christie. Doug Christie.

Oh, Doug Christie. He's like, I'm going to the next one. Then he looked mad when he called him the wrong name. Oh my god. Oh, wow. He is currently like a the wrong name. Oh my God. Oh wow. He is currently like a cruise ship comic. Oh really? Yeah, Doug Williams still out there doing it.

Boy that's like. I see. Who was the guy in Jerry Seinfeld Comedian? Ornie Adams. Oh, he's a cruise ship guy. Oh is it? Yeah. I didn't know that.

Yeah, I didn't know he did. Ornie still plays some, like he's doing pretty good. He's just a crazy guy Yeah, I think that documentary made him look much crazier than he really is But he's still a kind of crazy surprised Jackie doesn't hit the international waters Jackie Martling Yeah, Jackie might joke man, Martin. We developed a very weird friendship with Jackie Jackie Martling He would text Blake every day What do you text jokes? Yeah, he would text me jokes. Yeah, we had him on a lot amazing. Yeah. Oh my god I haven't thought of Jackie the joke man. What kind of jokes would he text? Yeah

Like how many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? How many? None. Yeah. Ah. Like the famine. It's famine. Yeah, it's a famine. It's a lighthearted take on fame. I'm here for it.

Yeah, poor Doug. But he does scan as that type of guy. Dude, I didn't really know. I thought there was just themed cruises, but you can just be a guy who works a general cruise? Yeah, there's like every cruise line, because they all have like an adults club or like a thing, and so it's like good money if it's not panning out,

or you don't have like two comedians that haven't made it pan out saying this. Yeah, would you be upset if you were a Cruise comic? I've always thought this about the band at the Holiday Inn or whatever. You know, whatever. Yeah, I wouldn't want to do it, I don't think. The Cruise shows seem a little like Vegas shows, like a little wild.

And people are like, I guess we'll do this. Yeah, yeah. It's a thing we can do so they're like not your captive as into it yeah but it could be worse too I think like it's nice to have all those gigs on all those days and it's cool to cruise around and on a ship for a while I would think cruising around on a ship is one of the allures. Yeah, of cruises. Of cruises. Should we, I've thought about, should we do like the Dude Perfect Cruise and broadcast from it? What?

Dude would be perfect. There's a Dude Perfect Cruise? Oh yeah. I don't know if they still do it, but they definitely did it for a couple years. Or let's do like the- No, don't say what you're gonna say. I was gonna say the like the Cowboys alumni crew,

you know how they have those things? What were you thinking? Impractical Jokers. Oh no, I don't want, I won't do that one. He'll do that. Yeah. What do you guys think of Impractical Jokers? I'm not a big fan of the show. I can't deny that they have some funny bits on there sometimes. I didn't want to like it when I first heard it. Well, thanks to Scott for coming today. You need to read the room, Scott. Actually, no, that's your guy right there. You know what?

I hate them passionately. Those guys. I also love big women and the crackle jokers. Hey, how about big women? You know what? I don't like it when little women act like big women and crackle jokers. Hey, how about big women? You know what I don't like? When little women act like big women aren't sexy. You go, Scott.

I think it's all gotta be staged now, right? Like it's like Jackass when they started getting famous and it became hard. They're so famous now. Which if they are all staged, it makes it worse in my eyes that they're so cringey a lot of the time. They over-laugh.

That's the one thing, they really over-laugh. The only problem is I can't ever find them on TV. Yeah. And if you need like the free app, the free TV app on whatever smart TV you have. It's always on. It'll have a channel that 24 hours a day is in Practical Jokers.

Yeah, how have they done that many? Man, I was super, super worried when I- 40 a season. Unfunny, yeah. 24 hours a day is in Practical Jokers. Yeah, how have they done that many? Man, I was super, super worried when I- 40 a season for six years. I've told these guys this, but Scott, I went to rehab. And when I got there, I had two roommates, and they were both like, they ended up being super cool, but they were intimidating to me.

They had both been, they were very tatted up, face tats, prison, whatever. And one of them had the remote, and one day he switched it over to In Practical Jokers, and he was like, I love this show. And I was like, fuck, it's on all the time. So it's not like he likes CSI New Orleans, which has one episode a week.

It's just always gonna be on. I thought Law and Order SVU was the sexual victims unit. Is it just special? Special. Learned that yesterday. But it is sex crime, though. You understand my confusion. But yeah, I was very worried.

Fortunately, me and that guy didn't end up being roommates for much longer. But we would just sit there and watch a Practical Jokers all day. This is rehab, this rules. The prison dynamic of the remote access in the rehab room? 100%. It was very much like that.

And then you get moved to a room with just two people, me and one other guy who was from that original room. The two of us went off, and he didn't care about sports at all, super gay, super, super gay. How long were you there? I was there for a month. Yeah, and so he, the only thing we watched for him. Not long enough to experiment a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. He was a sweetheart. The only thing. I miss him. The only sports, I actually do. The only sports related thing we watched is when the Aaron Hernandez show on FX started. That will rile up your emotions in a small room.

And like, you know, 15 minutes in, he's like gene jobbing a guy and rubbing his dick. How did he feel about the portrayal of, because you know, we'll watch somebody, a TV show about radio and it's like, oh, that's fake, that's fake. Does he think the guy played a good gay? I heard no objections.

Okay. Like, oh, I can tell he's not gay. Oh, was this a TV show about Aaron know? Like, oh, I can tell you. Oh, was this a TV show about Aaron Hernandez? Yeah, FX did like a drama series based on the book and the documentary and everything. I thought this was, I only knew about the documentary. No. And I was like, when was someone getting gene jobbed?

No. Yeah, they, how do I remember that on CBS? It was, dude, it's, the football is a lot of gay stuff. The what? The football action on the Aaron Hernandez show on FX was hilarious. I think the gay stuff is realer than the football stuff. Definitely. Is how that worked out.

Their Bill Belichick was very funny. Oh my god. Oh yeah. No, I loved it. I loved the entire run. Wanted to do the big, what do we call the big Thursday thingy, the? The Thursday viewer mail follow up extravaganza inclement fossil thing. I hope you weren't going to say no I don't want to do it I want to get a break first.

Hey. Because I have lots of email here. We're on your ship. It's cruising. It's the high seas with Doug Williams. That's right and this is brought to you by Lucy. Lucy is our preferred nicotine product. I'm a recurring customer of Lucy. You can go to Lucy.co slash dumb zone, promo code dumb zone, you get 20% off your first order. Free shipping,

you get a 30-day refund. I used to be a user of one of the other products. I didn't know about Lucy. I knew about just the garbage they had available for me at the gas station. There is a big difference. There is a huge difference. It's cleaner, it tastes better.

Tobacco-free. Tobacco-free. Yeah. That is correct. So if this is your game, go to lucy.co slash dumb zone. Use promo code DUMBZONE. You'll get 20% off your first order and free shipping. And here comes the fine print.

Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Thank you, Lucy. Hit me with that mailbag. I think you could go to our website to find our email addresses.

Blake told me you could, but then someone else told me Blake was wrong. I don't think I ever said that. Oh, you can't do it? Someone told me that they got it from, but I may have misread it and they just said that they found it online. I guess this would be the place to give those email addresses if we were going to.

I like it like this. Okay. I think you need to have one layer of a barrier. Yeah, if you want to contact the show, email Dan. That's right. That's right. Blake.Jones at... BigDaddy at HardBodies.net. All right, so I got one from Trevor.

He identifies himself as DF Trevor. It's a very long email. Wow. And the subject line was Mark Andrews. Remember Mark Andrews? You guys know who Mark Andrews is? Titan. Yeah, fantasy Titan.

What happened this past weekend? He had a really, really bad game. Terrible game. Didn't speak to the media. Yes, Fumble. Oh yeah, the Fumble. Then drops the game-tying two-point conversion and is kind of the goat. The other goat. Yeah, in the old sense of the word. Remember it used to be called goats? It used to be bad. It was a bad thing. And now it's bad again. Is that short for anything or that just meant goat? Like the animal goat. Okay.

Yeah. Anyway, so Trevor emails and mentions that he emailed last year about this time because he was afraid that his 10 year old was turning into Jake. He was so upset about the Cowboys' playoff loss to the Packers. And he just saw that it sent you to rehab and he's like, I don't want this kid to hurt like this.

Now he's an 11-year-old. He is a huge Mark Andrews fan, such a big Mark Andrews fan that he got his jersey for Christmas. Oh, man. When he got it, he ran over, hugged me. He wouldn't let me go. He was so excited. The background picture on his phone is Mark Andrews.

Dude, this kid rules. You know how hard O it is to just be like, I love tight ends. Yeah. Like I love a big, versatile, tight end. And not, you know, one of the top ones. It's not Kelsey. He's not flashy. He run blocks. I love it Well, Trevor says that he has set a bear trap for you that you've stepped in Mark Andrews is a type 1 diabetic

Autoimmune disease where his body no longer creates insulin now requires 24-hour monitoring of blood sugar and insulin dosing through either Injections or wearing an insulin pump my son was diagnosed type 1 at the age of 4. So that is why there's this connection. It's still cool. He's like, we've tried to find successful people in the public eye for him to look up to. And he found Mark Andrews. He said, it's a match made in diabetes heaven. He is a big advocate for people with type 1 diabetes.

Does a lot of work with charities. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So now his son was watching Sunday night's game. And yeah, no, I mean, I guess that's what you get for being a fair weather fan and jumping ship from the Cowboys. That's right. Just because some guy has diabetes. for being a fair weather fan and jumping ship from the Cowboys. That's right. Tough breaking.

Just some guy, because some guy has diabetes. I guess there is an effect of diabetes regarding your hands. Sometimes you just can't hold on to it. OK. Like your consciousness. That slips. He said, my son cried himself to sleep that night. Woke up and cried again.

I gotta be honest. I think if I heard my son crying over a pro football game, I would be the proudest of him I've ever been in my life. Side note, I was in two Dude Perfect videos last year. What? I used the term subbies while filming one of them to try and get a little Dumbzone Easter egg in there Kobe laughed at it The line got cut from the final video

Maybe next time I get a dumb zone Easter egg in there for you. How does this guy just keep? Showing up in Dude Perfect video. I don't know he didn't't, maybe it's a... He's got an 11 year old, so you probably can, I don't know, go to their shootings or something, tapings. Oh, if you give them a kid with a disease, they'll let you in. Ooh. Ah, there you go. They just figured it out, yeah.

Man, that sucks that my kids don't have a disease. I know, it's bullshit. I could be meeting John Cena today. That's why I don't believe there's a God. But no. Yeah. Or else he would have given me. She would have given me. Ooh.

Controversial. Also kind of going to the story, when I was a kid we went to the Rangers game and Brady Anderson stole second on Pudge twice and I was devastated. That's like the worst day of my life. That is tough. Like you just go to see Pudge eliminate people.

Yeah. The first one the ball slipped. He was on the transfer and they just flew out of his hand. And then the second one was just he just straight stole it on him. I wonder if it was during the Brady Anderson year. We were talking about the other day and then I ended up talking to TC. It's the funniest. It is the funniest baseball reference page you can find.

Yeah. They're like 50 bomb year. Yeah. And a hundred and1 RBI. And the same number of plate appearances the year before when he had like 17. With his pointy rockabilly sideburns. Yeah, it's the most obvious, like got 100 on the test

when you cheated, Roy Deer, in the history of baseball. Regarding license plates, you were doing the annual story of... The rejected one. Yeah. Yeah. Greetings, Clam Conquistador. Clam Conquistador, huh? One time I was at a 24-hour fitness, was walking out to my car,

saw a Jeep Wrangler with a personalized license plate that read, Jim Nazi. J-I-M or G-Y-M? G-Y-M. Nice to meet you. you. I'm Jim. That one's already taken. Jim Nazi. So you said last week that C-K-N-B-U-T-T chicken butt was rejected. As reported by the morning news, yeah. But he found it odd that something with the word Nazi in it was accepted but not chicken butt. You got to do NA5I or they'd just let Nazi go by. Yeah, that's crazy.

Apparently they did let Nazi go by. And he says PS, this is from DF Lance, PS I have an anchor word that I'd like y'all's thought on. Do you know what anchor words are? No. Apparently they're like a word that is always paired with another word. Okay. Oh like a gaggle of geese. That's a count word. Well he says... Yeah, give me some

examples after this one. Yeah. He says sleuth. He says internet sleuth. I don't hear sleuth with any other word. Yeah I read that email and I don't think I agree with that. You don't agree with that? I don't think that passes the test. I've heard sleuthing. Yeah. But almost sarcastically every time. Yeah. What about the word scantily? Clap, clap.

Now I'm going to some different ones. That's a good one. Yes, he says you only hear it in the context of someone being scantily clad. My sandwich has very scantily applied cheese. You just don't like no, you don't hear it We have we have a million of these In Su's Well, they're for a while. We were saying ensuing kickoff was the only time that's on there

But if you say the word ensues what comes before ensues? My first thought and Su's I'm'm going with Frankl and Frankl. Okay, it's a good time. So maybe we'll reject this one. He says hilarity ensues. Ooh, hilarity ensues. Mayhem ensues, Kross ensues. And then what word, Logan wants to know, what word always follows the word assless. Chaps. Yeah you don't hear a lot of... What else is assless? Right it's the definition. Chaps are by definition assless. Right. It's an irregardless situation. It is. My dad will still use irregardless. Maybe white regardless maybe white women from the Kate Moss yeah like yeah my wife did

what are we saying yeah yeah all right I like what you got I'm trying to help I have a real quick one on that same thing it's doing a little word homework with the daughter the other night the word quits q u i t s and she's like well what does that mean I'm like well it's like quit pat you really only use the word quits as in call it quits or like he quit he quits when he looted he quits when it the action so yes I did explain it that way but if you try to use quits when it gets mad. So yes, I did explain it that way, but if you try to use quits, it just feels like, okay, you would have the word quit. Why would they just put the word quits on there

as a plural? It just seemed weird to me. You don't often, the way even you just said it, you would not often say, oh, he quits, when that's not something people normally say. If you put a gun to my head and made me break down a sentence, like a fourth grader.

Diagram? Oh, you're shooting me that day. Yeah. That ain't happening. No, that's gone. I also kind of think just as a society, we don't care about that anymore. That slaps.

Like, grammar Nazis are almost just gone. Nobody cares. Things are different. Like, I really thought it was going to mess me up The FNATs are almost just gone. Nobody cares. Things are different. Like I really thought it was gonna mess me up that I can't do effect, effect. It doesn't. You still get the petty your your. Yeah.

Correction. That's an easy one. Yeah, that's an easy one. Yeah. I don't have to Google it. Got a Roseanne. Oh, you know what? Is that effect just the A one is the verb, right?

Yeah. The E one is the noun? Yes. Okay. Definitely. Yeah. Did I throw a- I'm so proud.

Did I throw a Roseanne picture in there for you, Rob? I think I might have. Yeah, there's one in the folder. In the prime of her life. So Ben has submitted Bob Huggins as a Roseanne. Has that been on the list? The Cincinnati coach? Yeah. Oh yeah, Bob Huggins is a Roseanne.

Yeah. So do you want to tell the boys? Yeah, I mean it's not, it's very amorphous, but I think that Roseanne, especially like at the peak of Roseanne, had a very specific look, and my grandmother looked a lot like that. Apple-shaped bob haircut? Yeah, the hair, just jowly. Yeah. I'm not saying there can't be Roseannes of other races,

but so far I've only found about the white ones. Steve Bannon is one I use a lot. The Republican guy. There's a lot of them out there. Travis Tritt, Ricky Lake, Vince Neil, John Goodman, Donna Kelsey, Tim Curry, Kelly McGillis, Holly Rowe, Michael Moore, Brian Kelly, Mike Leach. Greg the Hammer Valentine?

The wrestler, may I submit? Greg the Hammer Valentine. Submit it to the record. So the- Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, okay. So the thing I put in there, Rob, was actually from today in Twitter,

but it is someone has created a website called therosanbar.com. Whoa. So we've decided to name, like, if indeed you are. There is a line somewhere. Kevin James is not on the Roseanne list. And if you're above it, you have surpassed the Roseanne bar. OK?

I love this. So yes. So if you go, this has to be just, I mean, Jake invented this. I invented it, I guess, but Ralph is the one who bought Roseanne Game. Dial it up. It's an actual website, therosannbar.com.

Oh, okay, I thought it was. Yeah, it's not just a screen shot, like it's a real thing, where you can put in your own celebrity there, submit the form to help us with ideas to grow our list of possible rosans. We will... This is the dumbest thing we've ever done and I love it.

Yeah. So, submit your celebrity to therosanbar.com. The rosan bar scale. Oh man. Yeah, there's a leaderboard tab and it says coming soon. Oh no. Wow, okay. Yeah.

Yeah, they're favorites. There you go. Oh nice. Man, that makes me happy. I have one email okay This says hey Blake. I think I've discovered a new Jake crutch. Oh these are always fun. We don't hear so much about Blake's please review last Friday's episode for Blank okay, so I did like a crutch phrase a crutch phrase

Where else do you use the word crutch? Well whenever you yeah, I guess okay, just a little crutch yeah, that's kind phrase. Where else do you use the word crutch? Well, whenever you... Yeah, I guess crutches. Okay, single crutch, yeah, that's kinda like quits. Crutch phrase. And I think this guy might be onto something because I found six of them. Oh, this will surely not wreck my confidence for the rest of the day.

Yeah. So let's see. Another option where we just go to dinner and people have two to three drinks for two and a half hours would way rather be at home by myself. Do you know what I mean? And I'm like, well, I don't know. Your industry may be dying

because none of you understand math. Why don't we try? You know what I mean? Weight and gravity. Know that it's about psychology and the brain functions. Where, you know what I mean? Like they didn't really do anything but work and family. They didn't really have like a hobby.

They weren't into music. My mom was into John Wayne, you know what I mean? Aging like a fine wine as far as just like- Some people don't know what you mean. You know what I mean? It's true, it's nice to just kind of review- Perception of reality onto it and be like, I bet he's thinking about all the like stuff

he could do better in his life. You know what I mean? Like they've run zone read and there are four guys running with one or the other of them You know what I mean, whether it's Lamar's keeping you know what I mean? Like they were keeping score and lying because he also didn't have five bogeys Okay, you know what I mean? You have to be able to have figured out like this guy's not gonna throw the ball if it's not open You know what I mean? So good catch Well, we always said yes, yeah, so yeah, it's a positive yeah, it's good conversation

We're yes, and the people you're discussing with we're yes and guys getting feedback. Yeah, absolutely He just said, you know. You understand. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So I actually got some emails regarding gummy thoughts. We could make this brought to you by Early Bird CBD, because those are the gummies that we endorse and ingest.

Early Bird CBD, it's not your grandpa's CBD. No. It has to be. It doesn't use any of those words. In fact, I would guess you guys being public servants. Well, one of them. I thought you were both. He's a dirt bag.

Oh, you're a dirt bag. Yeah, no, I only. You can have THC. And the game, The Sins. Definitely. His character. Oh, OK. Do you get drug-tested in the game?

Volunteer for that. They just made that my job. And I don't think I'm going to be very good at it, frankly. OK. How hard is it to be a fireman? So it's got two and a half milligrams of natural THC. If you give them enough time they put themselves out.

Yeah! Geez. Just look at Los Angeles, they're spending all that money and if they just would've waited it out, fire gone. Right. These are all, this is all in a comedic vein, these comments. Early bird CBD. Oh, anyway, earlybirdcbd.com.

Code dumb zone is you'll get 20% off. So, gummy thoughts though. Yeah. We started this last week. Yeah. I enjoyed, so my gummy thoughts this week had to do with our good friend Jeff Frank. Mm-hmm.

Who has done our website for many years. Look at that graphic. You've got a gummy thoughts graphic already? Yeah, Jeff. Jeff is like our like dollar store Elon. Yeah, well, he's awesome. He's very awesome. Except he doesn't do Roman salutes.

No. Very rarely have I seen Jeff do a Roman salute. No, I haven't either. I don't even know if he has a heart. The thing is, though, he shared with me his list. So he keeps a list, as we all do, I think, lists on our phones. Oh, yeah.

Certainly if you're a comedian. Yeah, I got all sorts of lists. You are always jotting something down, you're seeing something as you're walking around. Big time. It's important to note, Jeff has done very well for himself. He's probably four or five years older than I am. He also went to Texas State and he knows a lot

about the computer and Bitcoin. And he knew about Bitcoin a long time ago. Now he will still lament the fact that he didn't hold onto it or buy as much or whatever because he doesn't have a jet. He bought Bitcoin in a parking lot. Yeah, like that long ago. Like he had to meet someone there to do the transaction.

So when it was cool still. Yeah, and he's done well. So this list, you kind of have to know, but I think the point of this list though to do the transaction. So when it was cool still. Yeah, and he's done well. So this list, you kind of have to know, but I think the point of this list though is anybody can have their version of it. So things I'm done with. Okay.

All right. Because I've been thinking about this since we talked. Yeah, so have I. Yeah, so how it started was him and his lady, we went to Cosm with them. You guys know Cosm? It was incredible. It looks amazing.

Dude, and it was the snow game on Sunday. So it felt like it was snowing in there. That's amazing. It was crazy. And so. The giant screen place? Yeah. It's like the Omni Theater for sports.

And you have an end zone view. So when a team is backed up to their own goal line that feels like they're right in front of you, it's crazy. And he lives in Austin. And so I'm like, oh, when are you heading back? Like, where are you staying up here? And he's like, oh, we fly back tonight.

I'm like, you fly back? He said, oh yeah, I'm never driving back to Dallas from Austin again. I was like, really? He goes, yeah, it's on my list of things I'm done with. I was like, that's interesting. And then he goes, here. And he got out of his boat.

A literal list. Like, not. No. Like in your head, you have a list. No, and his wife, or whatever, girlfriend's just rolling her eyes like, oh God, the list. She loved it. Yeah.

Like, they must be involved in something, and he's like, you know what, this is the last time. Right. I'm not doing this again. And everyone has a moment like this. On his list, driving to Dallas. On his list, weddings. Just don't go, send a gift, don't go.

It's a curmudgeonly one. It really is, some of these are. So he's probably approaching 40. No, he's a little bit older than I am. He's probably 43. He's a little older than 40, okay, he's a little bit older than I am. He's probably 43. He's a little older than 40, okay. But you've gone through that. In your 30s, you end up going to a ton of weddings.

Some people in their late 20s, but you know. I got my last one coming up this summer. You think it's it? Until we're doing round twos. And you don't have to go to those. I'd call those baller affairs. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's just with good friends.

Graduations. Interesting that he's putting this out there while his girlfriend has a kid in college. Yeah. In high school, I think, yeah. High school, yeah. So he's like. Risky play.

Telling her ahead of time. We won't be going. I won't be going to that. You did? With the last name that we're waiting for was Zamora. Oh, no. Get the fuck outta here. Was it like over a thousand graduating class? The entire football, hell, it was like 1,600 or something. with the last name that we're waiting for was Zamora. Oh no. No fuck outta here.

Was it like over a thousand graduating class? The entire football, it was like 1600 or something. Wild. Posting to social media. He will not do that. I didn't know he was a big guy doing that anyway. He probably was back in the day. Bone in wings.

Just not worth it. I agree with that. I already got that out of my job. I'm not looking for another one. Lot of criticism if you don't fit it. Oh yeah. Okay. You'll break the flats apart?

No. Crawfish. I don't. Yeah, we talked about that. I'm with them there. I only do it because my wife will do it for me. It's such a beating. It takes forever.

Yeah. Helicopters? Boy, I think I might be. Have you been in a helicopter? I mean, I could say I'm done with helicopters right now just because I never interact with helicopters. I've done it twice. Once whenever I was a really, really young, probably nine,

and it was just like out at Alliance, you could just go for 15 minutes or something, and then we did it on our honeymoon, and I think I'm done. I think that feels risky with kids. Las Vegas? Covey, obviously. Yeah.

RIP. San Antonio? It's a weird one. I love Charles Barkley, always gets his... Obviously. Yeah. All right. San Antonio. It's a weird one. I love Charles Barkley. Always gets how big everyone is. Churros. Going to NFL games.

Boy, I may be right on the edge on that one. Do y'all enjoy the NFL games? I don't drink anymore. So I like once I stop drinking. Pussy. NFL. NFL. The game has no place for my pussy ass. I don't drink anymore. So I like, once I stopped drinking, NFL, NFL, a game has no place for my pussy ass. Receiving gifts?

You don't even want to receive gifts. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. If you got, for the man who has everything. Helping people move. Oh yeah. That had to be first on all of our lists. If we had one, like a mental list.

Like right after you do it once or twice, you're like, what am I doing here? Like I have definitely avoided someone's Saturday morning phone call when I said, yeah, call me. And when he did come over to help me move, he spent a really long time on like one small project, Dan. Like a really long time. I just wanted to show up and say I was there.

Yeah, no, you did. And give you some emotional support. Where else, let's see, he has eating with people who don't know their order when the waiter comes. That one hit for me when he mentioned that, because I know my order three days in advance. I'm with that one too, but how are you going to avoid it? If you go once, and they're just like,

oh, I don't know, how's the cutoff? Yeah. And then it's the old, can you come back in a few minutes? Oh my god. And a few minutes is like 30. Oh my god. You get one pass at that. My wife's looking up beforehand.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Picking up people. Oh yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Picking up people from the airport. OK. It is a beating. Uber exists. You're adults.

Figure it out. Putting my hands in the air at a concert. That one landed for me too. And the funniest part about that is just imagining that the last time. You did it, and you're going for it it, you're like, nah, no. No. That's it on that one.

I like metal music, and I just want to go to a show and just stand still in the back for an hour and be like, what a delightful performance that was. I'm big at nodding my head with my hands in my pockets. So I like to take in a concert. Sure. I'll fuck around and dance on you. Although I hadn't been to like a real, real show

since we have. Do you sing? Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. At a rap concert? I'm very good at editing these days. Okay.

In the car, by yourself? Yes. You edit by yourself in the car. Yes. Interesting. Like my good friend Mo. See that? It's easy. Very funny that that one took off.

And here's a controversial one. The last one. Things I'm done with via Jeff. Bridges. I didn't really understand that one. Why? We're going around. Yeah, I don't know.

That's interesting. I didn't see that. I will not go on this bridge. Feels like those are great. Just the call of the abyss as he's walking across. Gummy Thoughts brought to you by Early Bird CBD Gummies. They have THC in them. That's why we like them, man.

They do. They work. Go to EarlyBirdCBD.com. Use code DUMBZONE. I'm going to play a quick video for one of mine this week. It's actually not a quick video, we can skip around. This is the Dion video, Rob. This is Dion One.

I don't think that this is gonna matter because I don't think they're gonna hire Dion Sanders, but I was all fired up to tell you guys that somebody, a listener named Gigi, informed me or reminded me about the Undercover Boss Celebrity Edition that Deion Sanders did. You guys might remember Undercover Boss. I remember that, but I don't remember,

how would Deion do Undercover Boss? Well, was he the boss of at the time? So, but he's Deion. He was Deion, he's Deion, but it sounds like what they kinda do, okay, for example in this one, he's dressed, as you sounds like what they kind of do, okay, for example, in this one, he goes, he's dressed, as you'll see in the video, in a disguise, they put crazy amounts of makeup on him,

they give him a beard, they give him glasses and a hat, and he's supposed to look like maybe an 80-year-old elderly man, a heavy man. No, they did not put him in whiteface. But he's gonna go to this, you know, underprivileged football program, it's barely getting by, and he's gonna help, he's gonna learn how they do what they do, right?

He's gonna help them mow the grass at the field, and he's hearing this sad song from the guy who's the coach, he's like, we don't have helmets, these kids are poor. I used to, I was a college athlete, then I got hurt. Dion's hearing this story and you're right, there's no, it's not like the guy at Hooters who went undercover, right?

Like that one, or maybe Redneck something. Redneck cabin. Yeah, that episode did big numbers. We miss you, Redneck. Yeah. Where the person who actually worked there did it. So they have to sort of come up with an idea here, and it's just that Deon's dealing,

seemingly with four people, and he's gonna help them out somehow. It's like when Tyra Banks wore the fat suit. Unbelievable. Good morning. Oh, hold on real quick, hold on. I have to give you a little bit more. So this portion. That's his disguise? That's his disguise. Okay it looks like Dion. Just with the glasses on. With a mustache. Yeah. Okay so he'll have a glass. He'll have glasses. He looks like the black Mario. Now he does look like Blackpool. Deon Sandersburg. So, here's the other thing.

They keep him in Dallas. He's Deon Sanders. As well known as anywhere. And he's in Dallas. He's going in, like, the first part that I didn't cut out, he's at a youth football camp. Okay, maybe. Then he's at a high school field.

Okay, maybe. But he's now here at a soup kitchen and church where they do like a choir. If you come and sing, you get, I'm sure, Jimmy's probably responded to this area or, like, you know, there's a bunch of people in there that are either doing mental illness or addiction and they're just trying to get a meal, and they preach to them. 1818 Course Kana.

It might be. You may see the building and notice. So now Dion is there, and here's my gummy thought. The premise of this is that everywhere Dion goes, they tell you that they're telling the person he's interacting with that this is an old man, and we're filming a documentary about something he's trying to do late in life.

Which is be of service, coach a youth football team, help out at soup kitchens. They say that that's the pitch to the people. To the coach he's helping, and you know, to this pastor. My guess is that's all bullshit, right? That everybody involved knows. The guy, the coach, and hey, I'm gonna take this thing off the end, there'll be a reveal, maybe the kids don't know. They all get new stuff, so that's like the upshot of it.

And that's fine if they're doing it with a guy and some kids, or they're doing it with, you know, this worker by himself. Now we're gonna send Dion Sandersberg into a homeless shelter with 50 to 100 guys his age dressed like this and in my head I'm just like, baked, like what are they telling these homeless guys? As there's cameras everywhere.

Are they like oh it's a documentary for this guy and he's gonna sing with you? And they're all like, but he looks like Deon Sanders. But just play it. You could skip around a little bit if you want, Rob. But you'll get a sense of why this was so unsettling to me. Unbelievable. Good morning.

You ready? Let's do it. Come on. Come on. Come on. Good morning. Find a spot? So now, oh. OK, if we need to put out more chairs, we can do that. Come on, come on, good morning. Find a spot? Sit down.

Okay, if we need to put out more chairs, we can do that. But we need everybody in a chair. So Dion. I'm prominent. I've played ball several years here. So recognizing me as my challenge, while I'm sitting up here in this costume or this disguise. He's got a fat suit on.

Like a kind of a little bit of a fat suit. I want to introduce my friend Willie. He's thinking about starting suit on. He's got a fat suit on. Thank you for being here this morning. Like a kind of a little bit of a fat suit. I want to introduce my friend Willie. He is thinking about starting a street choir in Atlanta. So I'm going to ask Willie to do a little bit. Mm-mm. Uh-uh. Through the whole rehearsals, especially when he asks me to stand up, that's a straight-on shot.

I mean, you get a chance to see you, to hear you, to hear how you speak. All right, Willie's got to conduct this. No, but Willie conducted nothing. That's his attempt at a voice disguise. Right, he sounds exactly like Dan. Yeah. When you stand up in front of the whole class

where you're leading a song, people really get to take a good view. A lot of cowboys hats in the crowd, cowboy starter jackets. That's okay, neither do I. So. Oh, you got me, baby? Yeah, I got you. All right. And a one, two, I. So. You got me, baby? Yeah, I got you.

And a one, two. I got love I got love Everybody up. I got love Growing by the hour I got love Sunshine, sunshine

I got my Watching Willie Conduct was better than mine. I thought it was at least a good seven for good effort, you know? I can't lose your money I got it from the party Oh, it was Mr. Biggums

was it? Yeah, it sounds like a cat's name. I got love I got love. I got love. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love. Love.

OK, so now they're done singing. Everyone's cheering for Willie. And he took the challenge head on. And he really performed very well. You know, for someone that's not wanting to be a singer professionally, I thought it was amazing. Oh yeah, everybody, we got tacos. Now on the way out, Deon's by the door.

We got burritos. Just warm. This is for you, Antonio, okay? Okay. Pamelo. Hey. Look at the man. Disguised himself. Nah. That looks like Deon Sanders in a guy.

No. It's like D.O. Sanders in a disguise. The guy in the cowboy starter jacket. You can tell that they know you. You think so? I don't think so. And then I heard a gentleman saying that's who that is. And I was trying to ignore and to just not.

So they did bust him. So eventually, after this scene, he's gonna tell everybody. But in my head, I was just imagining, again, a lot of people dealing with mental illness, a lot of people, even if they're not dealing with mental illness or addiction, they're going through it. They're coming here for a meal, and they walk in and there's a production company, and they're like,

this is a guy who's filming a documentary, and they're like, this is a, this is a guy who's filming a documentary. And they're like, that's fucking Dion Sanders. And they're like, how am I going to explain this to anybody later? Everyone's going to think I'm crazy, but he's got this disguise on. And then you're just out in the streets mumbling to yourself, to people that you're asking for money. Like I saw Dion Sanders earlier. A classic boy who cried wolf to the station. Exactly. A desperate cry for help.

And nobody gives him. Just gassing these homeless people up with Dion in a disguise, and then he's like, mm-mm, man, not me. It's just, the whole thing was just. You gotta wonder, probably half that crowd was sitting there just like, where can I have the sandwich now?

Yeah, probably. I would like the sandwich. Where are the tacos? Yeah, probably. I would like the sandwich. Where are the tacos? Okay, it's Dion, we got it. It's a very confusing setup to me. So, gummy thoughts brought to you by Early Bird CBD. Our whole show is brought to you by Tito's Handmade Vodka, American made at its best since selling the first case

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Tito's and learn more at Tito'sVodka.com. Distilled and bottled by Fifth Generation Incorporated, Austin, Texas. 40% alcohol by volume, distilled from corn, copyright 2025, crafted to be savored responsibly. Shall we take a break, guys? I'll take that as a no. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. You know what we should promote? What's that? Like, today's Thursday, right? Yeah.

Are we not doing a show next Thursday? Unless we're not doing a show next Tuesday. Because we are doing a show Wednesday. We are. That's what we should promote. We will be at. Here's Blake. Okay.

So come see Dan and Jake broadcast at the new Rivian showroom while I will be driving around that sick Rivian truck around downtown Dallas. Wow. Because they are letting you drive those suckers. They're nice. What is Rivian? It's the new electric vehicle.

They got a couple showrooms, I know one in LA, one in Austin, and they're opening up one in Dallas, and we are their grand opening next Wednesday from noon to three. So we were like, look, we don't broadcast on Wednesday. And they said, well, yeah, you do. Yeah, and then we said, okay, we do. Yeah, we're paying for this remote. Basically. And so yeah, we were like, well, yeah you do. Yeah and then we said, okay we do.

We're paying for this remote. Basically. So yeah, we were like, oh okay. So 3010 Knox Street. Just look it up on your phone. Oh gosh damn it. Just look it up on your phone. It's on the screen, just look it up.

All right. Yeah speaking of Wednesday, we didn't have. We were listening. We had a lot of business to do yesterday, and Dan has not brought up the egg bites yet, and I appreciate that. We had a situation out of Starbucks. What, the free food you got?

Yeah, we were in a Starbucks at the base of an office building, because then we had to go up to the office building and talk about accounting. But when we were in the meeting downstairs, Dan ordered a little bit of food. The guy we were meeting with, he did not order food, but they handed him food with his drink.

And the guy's like, this is not my food. He looked at it and the name I think said Matthew. So he tells the lady, hey, this is not mine. It says Matthew, my name is such and such. So she says, is there a Matthew here who has food? And the guy stood up and said, I'm Matthew, but I got my food like 10 minutes ago, I already ate it. So now there's just some egg bites.

And there's probably 10 guys working in the coffee shop and the lady's like, have these egg bites. Going once. And I said, we're all looking at each other and in my mind and heart, I'm like, I have these egg bites. Going once. And I said, we're all looking at each other, and in my mind and heart, I'm like, I gotta get that food. I don't throw anything, a big leftovers guy. So I was like, are you just gonna throw it away? And she said yes, so I sheepishly was like, I'll take it.

The thing is, I wasn't hungry at all. No, you just threw it in your bag. Did you eat it? I have it here with me today in a Tupperware with some tamales, and I was going to crush them up and eat it on there. Dan learned what a tamale is like two weeks ago. Big fan.

Oh, wow. He's lived here for 25 years. Big day. Just found out. Did everyone get to cross them? Yeah, no. We have a sponsor coming on, Tamale Dave. And yeah, he brought me a bunch of tamales.

He's like, you guys know about this? So I didn't know how to cook them. It was mind-blowing. Yeah, it was great. He knows Tamale. They're the best. I've been eating nothing but tamales. Comedy tamale?

It's one of my, oh, Tommy tamales, yeah, that's down the street from me. Yeah. So that's where I've been getting mine, but anyways. We had a station during the Christmas time. Oh, nice. People just walk around Oak Cliff with sacks of tamales. And they're just like, you don't want some?

Yeah. They see a fire station, they'll get some. And we usually do. But then we had a meeting with the accountant and I could smell them. Just like having egg bites in my bag. Oh, that bothered you? Big conference table.

I appreciate you not bringing that up. Well, that was a lot of restraint to not eat them at the accountant meeting. Like you with the apple with our program director that one time? Look, sometimes you eat an apple and I didn't realize until very recently that it really bothers everybody around me.

And then my one question that I wanted to make sure I get in for Jimmy is when I was in the drinking days and I was sick a lot too, that'll happen. Sounds like Scott might know something about that. Yeah, I know that, yeah. Is there a connection? For sure, your immune system is shot. And I a couple times got a mobile IV.

And it was a firefighter who did it. Do you know guys who do that? Oh yeah. Seems lucrative. It's a side gig a lot of people do. Yeah, the guy was single, so he was just like, yeah, it's just like Uber on my off days. I'd check the schedule and.

You just pick up shifts. Yeah. A couple firemen that run them. Really? There's like that, a lot of fencing. I see moving companies. Moving, there's a lot of movers. Okay. Yeah, I quit before they had the service, and lot of fencing. I see moving companies. There's a lot of movers. OK.

Yeah, I quit before they had the service. And I was really bitter. I went to a bachelor party. And they had the guy come and give them IVs the morning after. And I was like, oh, we're fancy now. We can just drink more to feel better. It is insane how well it works.

Insane. And also not cheap, so. Yeah. I just didn't know if you'd ever thought about that, but you're probably busy with your other side gig. Yes. Comedy. I'm busy not making money doing comedy. Yeah.

To think about having side gigs. Maybe you could give people IVs at the shows. That would be a nice touch. Oh yeah. Combine them. Just tell dick jokes while starting an IV on a lady. Do you want to do a little today on Twitter? people IVs at the shows. That would be a nice touch. Oh yeah. Combine them. Just tell dick jokes while starting an IV on a lady. Do you wanna do a little today in Twitter?

Yeah, sure, I guess you're saying that you do. Yeah, I do. The Dozer presents Today in Twitter. So I have a couple of them for you here today. The first one is a video from the Liberty Ball the other night, which was a concert for Donald Trump and friends. And one of the performers there was- Did you go there, Rob?

Glenn New. Oh wow. It's awesome. One of the performers there was Billy Ray Cyrus. And Billy Ray Cyrus is apparently not doing all that well. I know that he's not in that close of contact with Miley, for example. And the last time I saw him, he was doing, he did an actual feature slash cover

with Lil Nas X of Old Town Road. He's gonna try some of that here. This video's 12 minutes long so obviously we're not gonna play it all of it but I just want Rob to start it and we can just skip ahead and just say how's Billy Ray doing now? Okay. Because he's got technical difficulties, he's got that look like a, it's a video. Yeah, there's a video back there. Momma! Very confusing video. He's on stage.

Now he's going to start. Boy, he looks way different. He looks like Rob Zombie's brother. He does. Rob Zombie's dressed up like Steven Tyler. Yeah. Straight laced. His scarves are a dead Tyler giveaway.

Oh, no. He's singing, but not into a microphone. Did he walk to the wrong mic? He did walk to the wrong mic. Now he's just sort of gesturing towards the crowd. Now he's at a mic. He seems to be saying his guitar's off. His hands are shaking.

Oh no. Bet you can't hear him. You can't hear him at all. He's mad about something. Let's skip ahead a little bit. Just... Okay, we can kind of hear something. He's just mumbling.

There's a creepy video playing behind him. That's a speed bullet with grease on it. What's that? Chris Rock? Yeah, apparently it's a video playing behind him. That's a speed bullet with grease on it. With grease on it. What's that? Chris Rock? Yeah, apparently it's a video playing behind him. Boogity boogity boogity. That. Boogity boogity boogity.

What is the, so this is at the Trump party? Yeah. I think y'all was just getting warmed up. There you go. He's going to try Old Town Road now. Here we go. It's going to try Old Town Road now. Here we go. It's me, Stone Cold Billy Ray.

We need some more of that later, by the way. If you're a little Nas X, are you like, what do you mean? You're going to jump onto my bit now? Oh, that's him whistling. Yeah. Let me hear you. I'm going to take my horse to the Old Town Road. I'm going to ride till I can't no more. I'm going to take my horse to the old town road. I'm going to ride till I can't no more.

Going to take my horse. This might have been big like eight years ago. But even if it was. I'm going to take my horse. Now I'm going to move the mic around the stage. Left side. Right side. I'm going to take my horse to the old town road. I'm going to ride till town road I'm gonna all they're getting into it all

told them Carrie Underwood you were amazing today they have difficult these two that's a lot of has a lot of hair though yeah when you have technical difficulty each you just gotta keep going. That's the message. Wow, thank you, Billy. And if you tell my heart, I ain't gonna break it. Oh, no. He might blow up and kill his band.

No band, no guitar, just kind of going a cappella. All right, he hit that a lot better than I was expecting. Fair point. He knew it was coming and he geared up for it. Why is there a band? I don't even know. Is there no band? They're not playing.

Now he's so good. We could cut. I mean, he just kind of walks off the stage. Very confusing. Yeah, that happened. All right. And then I guess they have, Miley has a brother. He put out like an Instagram post, like, hey, Pops,

we're worried about you. Isn't he like a falling in reverse singer? What is that? In some like screamo band. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting. Were you a screamo guy?

I like some of it, yes. Every time I die? Oh, yeah. Man. Sad they broke up. Sad they broke yes. Every time I die? Oh yeah. Man. Sad they broke up. Sad they broke up, it was a messy thing. Yeah. Really messy.

The lady that cuts my hair has an every time I die tattoo and that's when I knew this is gonna work. Come to me. My other today in Twitter, do you guys know who Brian Johnson is, not the musician? No. He's the guy who's trying to age himself backwards. Oh yeah, okay, I've heard of him.

Yeah. That was great. You watched it? Yes. I have not watched the documentary, I've read quite a bit about him. But yeah, you can tell, Dan. Just being like, this guy's a fucking creep,

and in the last 15 minutes of the documentary, you're like, I'm on Brian's side. Yeah, so he's a 47-year-old dude. He's a CEO, founder type, and his whole bit is with his fortune. He's trying to age himself backwards, and it's working. Really? Yeah.

All right, I'm very interested. You don't want this. It's something I've been working on. No, no, no, you can't, you don't understand. He's spending millions of dollars and all he does is live to age backwards basically. He's not doing anything other than all of his time is spent slowing down aging and reversing it.

It doesn't work. He started a cult though. He did start a cult, as one might expect. And it's like. So he might end up living an extra 10 years, but in that 10 years, all he was doing was. That's what it seems like. Efforting to live 10 years.

Yeah, like whether it's food, whether it's supplements, whether it's light workouts, and he looks way young. So he's 47 and he has like a 19 year old or 18, 19, 20 year old son. Oh, I thought you were gonna say girlfriend. No, he's divorced and has a son. I don't know what his girlfriend situation is, but like, it's not good. It's covered in the documentary, it's not good.

YMH covered him too because she sued him, but like. It's not good. It really. Covered in the documentary. It's not good. Not good? YMH covered him too because she sued him. He dated a lady and she got like breast cancer and after that he was like, she became a net negative in my life. Yeah. Oh, shit. That sounds like Dan.

Like why did I hook up with her? Yeah. Yeah, because of her jugs. So, so the other thing is, do they touch on, he's really into his boner. There's not a lot of boner talk. He's really into, that's part of measuring your virility, I guess.

Yeah, this is. Oh, like waking up with one? Yeah. So he will post on social media his statistics of like here's how I'm doing today Here's how these the numbers check out that show that like my actual age is 22 Little chart of his dick getting hard throughout the night Put up the tweet that he had Saw this. Oh, is this about yeah, this is from Brian Johnson

Yeah, nighttime erection data from my 19 year old son, and he tags him, and me, his duration is two minutes longer than mine. Raise children to stand tall, be firm, and upright. So he's got a measurement here, each of them I guess are 22, because his son's so tested up that he's scaling up. So is there some kind of a? Sensor?

Yeah, something monitoring. I looked at the comments for a lot of people. You just put your Apple Watch on your wiener? Asking like how's it measured? There's a base level girth required to use the tool. Yeah so he measured the number of erection episodes, the total duration of those erection episodes, 182 minutes for one of them, 184. There's no way I thought I was hard half the time I was asleep. that's three hours. That is one of the funnier things

about the fire department. Go on. It's 10 guys trying to sleep and you randomly wake them up to go do a thing and it can be a very serious thing but statistically speaking, six of them will have hard ons. You just, don't be a very serious thing, but statistically speaking, six of them will have hard-ons. You just don't be a cock watcher. You don't talk about it.

If a guy's leaning forward a little bit, running to the engine, you just ignore it. I've never thought of that either. I never thought of that either. If you see a fire engine rolling down the street at night, and they vibrate their suspensions bad I have to talk to a patient this thing will have gone down and then you're like a warm area It's just shaking. It's like Jesus Christ

I'm getting no favors. I'm gonna do CPR on an old guy and Enough about wieners, but no it's funny though It's I mean this guy's probably sleeping for nine hours Does that make you get erect again after giving CPR to the old guy? Only if it doesn't work. And then you're like, OK. What an altruistic reason to get a hard on.

Yeah, right. Hell yeah. That's why Superman gets hard on. Save people left and right. But three hours per night, yeah, I don't know. And then the fact that it's his son, and he's like, I compare a boner. He has a strange relationship with his son.

The entire time, you're like, boy, are y'all gonna kiss? What's going on? But it turns out he was Mormon. And so when he divorced his first wife, he was excommunicated, so his wife and his other two kids refused to have contact with him because of the church. Okay.

And that's been for years now. So it's kinda added a wrinkle to his story. So this other son is just like, hey, I'm gonna love him up. We're gonna compare boners. Made that, doing pushups. Talking cops. And that was today on Twitter. Wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. It's made that doing pushups and talking talks. And that was today on Twitter. Wasn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Today's news is not only featuring Jake, but it's brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp. You know why I like BetterHelp is I'm currently dealing with this situation right now where you're trying to schedule an appointment with your therapist.

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H-e-l-p.com slash dumb zone. We'll start with a little bit of local news This is an interesting one. So we do have an image here for this one. It took place in Carrollton, Saturday night, January 18th, and there was a video that was posted on Nextdoor, the app. Oh, is this the devil guy? Yeah.

Oh my god, yeah, that's so scary. Yeah, so there was a video captured of a guy on this family's front porch. He was also like in the back of their house standing in front of a driveway. And they posted these images to social media and there's just a guy wearing a satanic mask. And he is holding a sign that says revelations 20 verses 1 through 15. You can see it there.

He's got like the, what do they call that? It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15.

It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15.

It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's 21 through 15. It's one through 15 are. Yeah, it's a Pygmas, Pygmas demon? So is this guy just walking around door to door, or is it just he went to this one house? That's what's weird about it, is that this is the only one

that was posted. No one else reported seeing the masked figure, but it's the versus about the defeat of Satan and the final judge of humanity. It's not that threatening. Well, it seems good then. Yeah, this is a good omen. And he's self-deprecating because he's wanting to be defeated.

This is a kink thing. He's asking for help. He's like, I'm about to get washed. I'm about to get beat up by God and earth. The homeowners filed a report with the police in Carrollton What are they saying to that? Well, this is interesting So the police said the stranger couldn't be considered a trespasser but promised to monitor the situation To be trespassing you have to cross a physical barrier like a fence

so your Doorbell camera that'll alert you, right? Yeah. Or it records it and all that, that's how they knew? Yeah. Cause who's watching all their footage from overnight? No, I think it's, yeah, it's the image and it says like dog, car, Satan,

in like a little box and it reports it to you. But I don't know. That's one of those, like, I have a gun at the house. Yeah. And I shoot a couple times a year. I like hunting, but I'm not a huge gun guy, really. And then you're like, I have it, but I don't have the Jason Bourne fantasy of people

breaking into the house. And then you look at your ring camera one night in bed, and it's a guy in a Satan mask at your front door. Yeah. And you're like, holy shit, This is what we trying to guys. Right. I fell in my lap a little bit. I have to get rid of this boner and kill Satan. But yeah, I don't know. I mean you think about Castle Doctrine and that sort of

thing like the guys. I feel like this is one where if they were tough one in Texas, you know, the guy would have just blasted him. I think even me like far The guys, I feel like this is one where if they were to- That's a tough one in Texas. You might not wanna do that. If the guy would have just blasted him, I think even me, like far lefty me, would have been like, you kinda- Yeah. Dressing up as Satan on someone's property in Texas. You're victim blaming by saying,

asking what she was wearing. Well, yeah, and like to Scott's point, I feel like if you shot someone, I would be like, it's not like they were dressed like Satan. Right. You didn't have to shoot him. This guy was. It's not like they were vaguely menacing you.

Yeah. Yeah. Like what's your end game here? You remember when people started dressing as clowns? Fucking mass hysteria. You know the only reason that went away? COVID. That's what killed it? Is that around it? Sweet lady Covid. Is that why it? I don't remember but people are getting

really- Nobody talks about the positives of Covid enough. You're in the right place. Oh yeah yeah. I don't remember how the clown thing went away but it was some people got beat up. Yes. So that's the answer? Violence? So if you see a clown out there, folks, you attack it. Yeah. Immediately. Whomp him in the legs. You guys know about the kindness robot

that tried to travel across North America? Made it to Philly. Yeah. Got destroyed. It got beheaded. It made it all the way across Canada hitchhiking. The developers were studying human relations and how did different cultures interact with strangers.

People would take pictures with it. I think it made it across Australia, Canada. It's like in British Columbia on a boat taking pictures. It got to America, it got to Philadelphia, and was beheaded the next day and just bashed the fuck. Like ruined. What a great, it's just amazing. That's how far it made it from the coast.

Yeah. It was supposed to go to California. Fuck yeah, I love that. Yeah. And then, Beheaded. My, oh shoot, I forgot to upload one photo. I'm gonna whip Rob's ass about this. Actually, let's just go with what we got.

You guys know it's snowing down at the Gulf, or was? Yeah, they got like nine inches in like Jacksonville. Yeah, yeah, so this is great news. The Gulf of America? Gulf of America. The Gulf of America. Has it happened yet? It happened at all our homes.

Perhaps it's one of the executive orders. Okay. But executive orders don't really, right? It's like a thing, like a memo. Yeah, I mean I know Jenna Ryan got her record cleared for breaking into the Capitol, but other than that, we had the Capitol writer on our show twice. Well pardoning is a different thing.

A pardon is a real thing, but an executive order, I think, is just kind of a real strong suggestion. Yeah. I think, but actually I don't. That is right. I don't't. Rob was there. Do you know? Yeah. Oh. So this is good for the news right because what you have are a lot of people who have never seen snow. I was talking to my wife about this from this morning from New Orleans her family lives. Oh send your pictures. Send

your pictures and also just people outside dicking around in the snow. Like for example, her sisters, her half sisters who are early mid 20s, I don't think they'd ever seen snow before. And most people down there, like it's not like the Lafayette area, Acadiana, it's not real wealthy. And they're not in driving range to mountains. So unless you're flying to go skiing, which is a pretty serious uppity thing,

you're talking about a lot of people who have never seen snow. There's snowball fights on Bourbon Street, just people who have never seen snow. That was weird. It's super weird. Bourbon Street covered in snow. It's supposed to be covered in vomit.

Yeah. Right. Natural state. Or blood, a couple weeks ago, right? That one went right in front of me and I said, I'm not going to do it. And then I looked over and saw you talking. Getting all happy. That's why we're, yeah.

Can I talk about that guy that ran into the car? Finally. So we'll start with the- Been waiting for that shot. The news reporter who's getting mad at the drivers in the snow. He's doing like a live, he's doing a stand-up, and people start doing donuts, he gets all pissed off, and then he does like a really weird, as we said before, code switch. Oh wait, this is uh, yeah, we'll do this one first then. This is from Galveston, I I think this is a snowman that was being

built and there's a reporter in the front yard they're like oh let's check out your snowman the snowman so yeah there's a knife stuck in the middle of the snowman with blood everywhere this is what the front door did. And the news is like, yeah, let me go... Put this on live TV. But it's funny, right? Yeah, it's funny. Yes, yeah. I'm running into knights and swords, cannons, stuff like that. That will be on the news seven years from now.

Yeah, I know. After......sword. Yeah, I know. After. Sort of. I know. That's why everybody was playing, like was sharing it. It's like, dude, are we not worried about this?

Right. First of all, kick ass snowman. What's with news guy though? You might want to just say, Yeah, look at the. We'll just keep this one to ourselves. Yeah, and then the news guy says something like, your mom says you have a bit of a morbid sense of humor.

And the kid's like, I guess. Yeah, this is my teenage sister. She says a lot of things. Her first time. Yeah. But that's a pretty old news guy. So I wonder if he hasn't made the desk because he's not edgy enough.

So he's like, oh, OK. All right. I'll give you edgy. the next domer yeah snowstorm yeah yeah John you know we've seen our fair share look look there's somebody peeling out watch out John watch out John see this is something are peeling out approach newsman cool that guy thinks he is i wish that lafayette police officer would roll up on them and uh shut that down hey man can you turn

your lights on and shut that down unbelievable bro like bro so that's the kind of stuff we don't love to do which is why katie anna at times you wonder why we may be standing in certain spots just just not just not it bro you know john's, John's got a family. I got a family We're all just trying to do our job bringing you up to date. Um, that was whack But I ain't rocking with it super lame. Oh my gosh Boy, I tell you what got me hot, bro. I got me hot Man, we'll show what's happening. I'm just kidding. Anyway, Katie Anna, please be safe. Ah!

I do wonder if he is code switching to do the radio voice. And it's like creeping out because he got angry. Yeah. OK. Yeah, so like he's actually like he's the Jason Brown, the guy from Last Chance U, the white coach who was raised in Compton. He actually talks like that,

but he has to try to keep it together to be. He's like, oh fellas, that is whack. Yeah. That is whack. But he's like, first of all, and he also started acting like he was a troop. You know, the guy barely slid towards him. He's like, we got families.

You think it's easy to be out here on these front lines? Yeah. Telling you that it's snowing? Yeah. Providing the news for your freedom? Yeah. And you, the gall. The gall.

Whack as fuck, bruh. Let's see here. Oh my god. Excuse me. That was whack. Felt good. Oh my god. Excuse me. That was whack. Felt good though. It was kind of whack though. It's almost good hit by cars. That was whack. That was whack. Two baby bald eagles hatched yesterday at the John Bunker Sands Wetland Center, South of Dallas. If you're out of news, just say you're out of news.

This one was actually up here. John Wetland Center? John Bunker Sands Wetland. That is shortened to John Wetland Center. What are they doing here? What are they doing to these birds? I actually did have this one for Jimmy, though. The White Rock Eagles?

Isn't there like a ball? I was at a wedding over there. Yeah, they showed up a couple years ago. Okay, but I feel like there's always a controversy around them as far as like, are people messing with them? Like, do you guys get calls about this? I just assume everything in a tree is your job? Yeah, cats.

Yeah. Oh yeah. You ever been called for a cat in a tree? We have been. It's a Little bit of wisdom for you guys if they can get up it they can get down it. Yeah, okay figure it out It does sir saying you just throw stuff at the cat. Yes, something like something my uncle would say yeah but true the the bird pops up every now and then because there's just like a like a fuck ton of The bird pops up every now and then, because there's just like a fuck ton of birders,

bird watchers, like people with beautiful cameras like lined up in lines to find this one eagle. Yeah. Which that's a flavor of autism I don't get. So there's a ton of people with cameras. Yes. Not two people. No, I literally mean a ton.

2,000 pounds worth of human being. Okay, but yeah. Maybe more cameras, I don't know, they seem large. Yeah. That guy, but yeah. Maybe more cameras. I don't know. They seem large. Yeah. That guy. I just. Yeah, I don't know anything about birders. I have a friend who does it.

Who's a bird guy? Bird lady. Bird lady. Yeah. You have lady friends? I mean, she's the wife of a friend of mine. But I guess it's sort of, yeah. If they got divorced, would you still be associating with her absolutely not yeah, I'm a real, bro

Did you go over and just see if she's doing okay, and maybe bring her a little something no But I do remember when my parents got hogs how much of that was happening really brought over my dick Where they're like friends of your dad's coming by like hey yeah both sides yeah like I remember and I even remember, I probably shouldn't say this because my mom listens sometimes, but. Because I got some friends that I don't think. I remember seeing a lot more of one of my aunts.

Interesting. Interesting. Being like, I remember my dad being that good of friends with her. That's the most forbidden of all fruit. Aunt Kathy does change her own oil. What's she doing over here? Huh. Huh. Some things are coming into focus. What's she doing over here? Huh. Oh.

Things are coming into focus. It's off early in the morning for her. Yeah. Why's mom seem relaxed? She is flowing through the day. All right, there's your news. All right. Fine.

Fine. I wanted to talk about the Eagles, but. Yeah. What do you mean? We talked about it. My mom started busting nuts, and we got to move on the Eagles, but. Yeah. What do you mean? We talked about it. My mom started busting nuts, and we gotta move on. Yeah, moving on.

Hey, Claire, do you remember that one time the Frankles got me that huge. Oh, Jimmy. Oh, Cornelius Falcon, how could I forget? Yeah, that was super dope. Was that a fart? Please stop talking. Frankle and Frankle.

Frankle and Frankle. Personal injury lawyers. Anybody know their phone number? I think it's 214 or 187. 33333. No, Fort Worth's area code, more of an 817, not the police code for homicide. So that would be 214 or 817.

How do you know the police code for homicide? How do I know 187? Yeah. 187. It's one of the famous cops. Oh, sorry. Gosh. Do you guys knew 187, correct? No.

Oh. Okay. There was a movie. There was also a movie called 187. Yeah. With Samuel L. Jackson. That's right. There was a few movies in the 90s about teachers who had to kill their students, and that was

one of them I thought we were focusing on Cassie and Jack and the fact that they also Are not culturally literate see the weird thing is I thought we were focusing on the Frankles who were Chosen by the people feared by the insurance companies. That's because their attorneys they used to defend those insurance companies They have the experience, the know-how. They know their tricks. So if you get in an accident, make sure you're okay. Don't wait on Jimmy and his crew to get soft before they can get in the truck and get there.

Call the Frankles at 214-817-3. Stay hard, you don't have to get one. That's right. Write that down, everybody. The Dumb Zone presents Today in History. So I have a couple of viewer mail birthdays that I forgot from the other day. I also have a piece of viewer mail that I forgot from earlier today, which was actually mailed to my house. Okay. This was on my porch.

And I brought it for you. It was sent to us by Michael Snap. Oh, okay. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it.

I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it and I brought it for you it was sent to us by

Michael snap okay adult son intern it's very good intern I know it's just we have an intern that's like close to my age or my agent it feels yeah well yeah he's all he's also been through rehab and stuff, I think. This is true. Well, I don't know if he wants me to be public. Happy Bud Dwyer Day. So yesterday was Bud Dwyer Day. How'd we miss it?

Well, that's why you said I have to take off. Oh, that's right. You were like, I'm not working on Bud Dwyer Day. It's a loaded handgun. If there's anyone squeamish in here, that was, I think think what he said. No, it's a shot glass. It says treat yourself to a shot.

With a little picture of Bud Dwyer in it? Yeah, with a manila folder. Wonder what's in there. That's good stuff right there. Happy Bud Dwyer Day everybody. You want to do like, sometimes we'll do skits or a cold open before the show or something. Can we do something revolving around... Me blowing my head off?

I don't know. Yeah. In a comedic way. Right. In a comedic vein. Yeah. Okay. So like I said, I had a few birthdays from yesterday.

I didn't get to... Or Tuesday, I just totally forgot because we were just rocking along with Brandon Aubrey. And then the real reason is that Blake didn't remind me to read Dear Gash Gestapo, I'd like to wish a happy Audeb Mcdowell birthday to my good friend and co-owner Drew Waggoner's new daughter Riley Anne Waggoner. Dangerously porny and her initials spell raw.

Not good, folks. dangerously porny and her initials spell raw. Not good, folks. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter. Well, it's his friend's daughter. Actually, it's co-owner's daughter, he says. He says, contrary to your claim, in our ad read last week, I believe this proves that we do, in fact, heat vaginas. So if your listeners need a new air conditioner or just someone

to cuck them, call or text 469-667-7290. Think of it as marriage preventative maintenance. This is from Travis Gafford. OK. Our good friend from Community Mechanical. Yeah. Our HVAC partner at Community Mechanical. Or what is their website?

Communitydfw.com, right? I think so. Well, let's not research it. Let's just assume it's that. Let's not do a. Let's just assume it's that. I like the attitude. Not a real live spot for someone. Um... This little testiness.

Who's getting testy? Blake? Not me. What's wrong? I feel great. Why are you being like that? I'm not. Dear Dan, please wish me belated happy birthday.

Um, my leaders are holiday host Danny, any of the D's picks that are not Chappie's, and Dan Sy after Jake surprises him with There's Your News. This is from D2DFTravis, number 978. Chappie has been eating these playoffs, man. He's done very well. Is he quick to inform you of that? Every Sunday night. I get his record dear curly crustacean crusher

Tuesday is my Lionel Washington birthday Don't know it Then he gives us some Optional content so I will say more ski and saroi banter Danny's life experiences mom game crossovers and Dan yelling at the dogs From the best Tyler not the other bitch Tyler's Yes, I'm an effing Aggie So his name is Tyler He's an Aggie okay

Right and Maggie Two more dear Genghis Cunt. I'm writing in for my own Tony Dorsett birthday because I'm a loser with no friends. You have us. Let's see. Les Sarah Heppala from Harry Day Two. Oh, his theory on why Derek Henry didn't sign with the Cowboys is because he has an endorsement

with State Farm Insurance and Nationwide is the Cowboys. Literally nothing would surprise me. Insurance and he says for proof, Micah's podcast sponsor is... Nationwide. This is very true. And a couple birthdays for today. Hello Gash Bros. Happy birthday to my former boss, DF Jeff. It is his Bobby Carpenter birthday. Oh, Barbie. Let's see. A long time. My leader, his leaders are the sex rules of Billy Bob Thornton's daughter in Landman.

Oh yeah, that was tough. Mel Gibson's term of endearment with law enforcement and Russell Erksleben's investment strategies. Neverpunt from D.F. Brandon. Watching Landman? What is the Landman? Okay, you were here? Okay. And I have watched it since. Okay. And I think I disagree with you Watching Landman? What is the Landman's Clean Fun, everyone, it's a show built for men. I feel like Jerry.

Pardon? Jerry. Isn't Jerry Jones in it? Oh yeah, Jerry Jones is there. Well I had to ask. Of course. And that's what I get for asking. At a high school football game.

Yeah, we have a rule and we stick to it. I wanna regret asking you this, but how does this feel to you? As long as he never comes in me, he can come anywhere on me. As long as he never comes in me, he can come anywhere on me. Oh, we'll get a doctor property, you know what I'm saying? No. That's tough.

God bless him. I'm a sucker for anything Billy Bob Thornton. I just, I do know that it is, it is big on the like, let's have Billy Bob Thornton, who's Billy Bob Thornton in a cowboy hat, explain to some libtard how it all actually works. Yeah. Yeah. Once I saw that speech, I was like, all right, I know what this is.

I know what this is. Good, clean fun. That's what it is. And greetings, Adolf Slitler. Today is my Doak Walker birthday. I just want to say I believe in Jake being able to record an epi while on mushrooms because I was able to do the spotlight for the Lake Highlands High School production of Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat when I was 17 years old. So is he saying that he was on shrooms? It was not mushrooms while doing the spotlight. Yeah, it has to be. Yeah, not just being on mushrooms is like being 17.

Do you think the Cowboys can still get away with underpaying employees and players by saying it's an honor and privilege to work and play for the Dallas Cowboys? Yeah. Seems to kind of be what they're going with, yeah. Shout out to the Beehive. More Tim Collishaw.

Is that Blake's fans? In English. From Patrick B. Your fans are the Beehive? more Tim Coleshaw. Is that Blake's fans? Yeah. In English, from Patrick B. Your fans of the Beehive? Yeah, I like that. That would be the funniest subset of fans. Was I not here? No, we were. I think we were talking about the backup quarterback ad. And Colt McCoy had to take down a Beehive.

Yeah. And you hadn't seen it, so you thought that I called my fans beehive. You can do fan meetups at Applebee? Well, your name is Blake. And Adrian actually did send an email that says, dear King B, he wanted advice on his lawn. And that's your bit.

Yeah, it's pre-emergent season right now. Is it really? Yeah, lay it down. Wow, that was just to the point. He worked for like a? Scott's. OK. So I learned a thing or two about grass.

Yeah, he's our guy. Useless knowledge. That's manly. Man, that guy from Game of Thrones really on hard times. The redhead? Yeah, like Tormund. But it just works very well for him, that role. Somehow, did you guys see the clip of,

there's some Irish comedians talking about another history podcast? It was viral a couple days ago. And I started following this Irish comic. He's about our age, maybe a little bit younger. That accent makes everything. Everything's better. Everything twice as funny.

Yeah. The affect and I guess I do know how to use affect. The affect and the accent are just so fuck it. You know what I mean? Like everything he says sounds irreverent just because he's doing a little, I like that. Go on. That's all I got.

Oh, I thought you went more British there. That did sound. That's why I stopped. I'm you kind of I thought you went more British that did son That's why I'm from Ireland. I cherry out Hey, man From Dublin No, I don't know it's a very funny accent That's all I have on that, really. So it's Thursday, January 23rd on this very day in 1845,

Congress decided all national elections would be held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. So imagine that meeting. Yeah. No, no. The first Tuesday of November. Don't like it. Okay, so November 1st.

Too early. It's too early. Well, because they had to start with like. So if it's November in November. Don't like it. OK, so November 1st is Tuesday. Too early. It's too early. Well, because they had to start with like, So if it's November 2nd, fine. Settling on Tuesday. That was a three week process, I'm sure. And why did we do that? Hey, wait, let's, what if, get the week started.

You're talking about a Monday? You could have a day at my office. No, whoa. You need a day to kind of like talk it out. Get my feet on the ground a little bit here. And then somebody else is like, why don't you? OK, cool, so we'll get like a, at my office. No! You need a day to kind of like talk it out. Get my feet on the ground a little bit here. And somebody else is like... Okay cool, so we'll get like an excellent idea then. We'll get a day off on Tuesday, right? No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, what are you saying? We're gonna have no days off. We're America. Okay. Well what if we vote on the weekend or something so you just have time?

Football. Hmm. 300 years ago, they were concerned. On this day in 1962, Jackie Robinson, first year of eligibility is elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. You need 75% of the vote to get in. He got 77. That sucks. Many, many writers are like, eh.

In the 60s. I mean, obviously I know, but it's that long ago. That wasn't the only thing they were thinking in their head, but I can't say the. Yeah. Who just got in with like 97%? Was it Ichiro? Ichiro had but one from unanimous, because there's always got to be one asshole. That one dentist who doesn't approve of toothpaste.

Yeah, it's, they're such a dick. Yeah, they are. They're the of toothpaste. Yeah, they're such a dick. Yeah, they are. They're the 10th dentist. Yeah. Just contrary. Somebody should do a bit like that, like meeting with that guy. Like, he's just the, like the Rick Rubin of dentists.

He just knows nothing. He's like, I don't know. I don't, don't put anything in there. I think it works. And on this day in 2020, the Chinese government issued a travel ban for all residents of Wuhan. What was that about? It says here it was the epicenter

of a novel coronavirus outbreak that would come to cause a pandemic. Yeah. As of this day in 2020, the disease had killed about 17 people. Or not a disease, right? It's not a disease. It's still a virus. I don't know.

Just still struggling to make it big. Still playing those indie shows. Down at the door. Down at the pavement. Yeah. Workshopping. This is, by the way, I think this is about the time that year that the three of us started being like,

ha ha, are we cool here? Yeah. Yeah, like you had a buddy. Yeah, and we had a. And a buddy was saying. We did a show at the SMU Athletic Forum with Roger Staubach and his son, Jeff Staubach, who was a big listener to the radio station, he greeted us with an elbow.

Yeah, like what are you supposed to do here? And it was about this week, and we were like, oh shit, this is gonna be bad. I was leaving an open mic at Dallas Hyenas and Mockingbird Station, and there was a big glass front to it, and I was a big glass front to it, and I was walking out, and my friend Hogan just knocked on the window and put his phone up,

and it was like, NBA season canceled, and I was like, that's crazy. That's a weird, that Cuban will be tied to that moment forever, at least in my mind. I think of him when I think of the starting moment. Oh yeah, and Boban, I looked up the other day. up the other one hit like 30 right it was like 31 and 17 Ever it was a nuggets. Yeah, we pulled out Luca didn't play that night Big Bobon night good times. Why did they get rid of Boban?

So fun like he should just still be here So fun. Like he should just still be here. Birthdays today, former cowboy Anthony Spencer is 41. I forget about him often. Purdue? Yep. Phil Dawson, 50. Texas.

Kicker. Eric Metcalf, 57. Texas. Texas, yeah. Cardinal or Brown or both? Brown, I know. Definitely Brown. Okay. Jerry Kramer is 89.

Offsides. That's right. Is that the Norm Fart guy? Correct. I'm gonna sneeze again, just giving you the alert. Byron Hanspard is 49, and by doing the alert, it lessens the chance of the sneeze actually coming. You think so?

For some reason, oh yeah. Does that work in bed? When I've, what do you mean, in bed? You ever sneeze while doing it? No, no, no, I just mean like if you say like, hey, it's about to slow things down for you or. Oh, hey. Yeah.

Yeah, especially when she's like, ew. That would be the funniest response to that. Just the very standard, like, I'm about, and they're, ew. No, no. Gross. Get off of me. Why? Byron Handspired is 49.

I feel like you just said he was 48. Today? I don't remember that one. Okay, go ahead. Like a minute ago? Now you're thinking of last year. It was last. I do have a great memory.

He's a Red Raider. Tito Ortiz, 50. Looks great. Weren't you guys talking about MMA guys a minute ago? Or was I, am I high? Was that a year ago? That might have been last year. He's the one that was with Jena Jameson, right? Yeah, and he had the Gravedigger celebration.

Oh, yeah. It was a big celebration earlier. That is a good one. He's the, okay, so we once had him on the show. You and Bob did, yeah. And Jena Jameson was lying next to him in bed. Yeah. Really?

When you were interviewing him. Yeah. Nice. Hell yeah, man. So now you can look at me and think of Jenna Jamison. I always do, I did before. Didn't know why. Richard Dean Anderson, 75.

Who's that? MacGyver. Oh. Oh. Did he do anything else? Who went to Ohio University. Ooh. Go Bobcats. As did I. Mariska Hargaday is 61.

She looks great. Jane Mansfield's daughter. That's right. She does look like she could push you around a little bit. I like it. Yeah. I like it a push you around a little bit. I like it. Yeah. I like it a lot. Tiffany Thiessen, 51.

Oh yeah. Jeez. Shaved by the bell. A lot of socks had to meet their maker over that one, folks. Generations. Yeah. It's a regular genocide. Just a real holosauce sock that happened. Okay on the fly I like it.

And born in Denison Texas on this day 74 years ago Sully Sullenberger. Wow. Wow. Denison. Oh wait you had to crash land because there was a bird in the air. The only airport where there's a bird in the air. I can't believe it. I could have seen that one coming. How has all those other thousands of flights left from this exact place, but everything's else fine? You're in a river and you're like, oh, let's make a movie because you're so great. Yeah, no, I mean, now these guys, they were in aerial dogfights,

where they had Thousands of people trying to kill them Ground why don't we put sully statue right next to them for what was it? Bird yeah for perfect for crash-land like they didn't even get up off the ground really Jimmy is not pleased with our sully slander Are you pro sully? I literally it took me a few seconds ago to be like, oh, that one Tom Hanks movie? He has a Sully tattoo.

He has a Sully. Born on the Stay Now Dead, John Hancock, and XXXTentacion. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've never known how to say that one time. I don't think he does either. I don't think he does either. I don't either. I think I did a great job.

I did see the video of when he died. That was gnarly. Yeah, like an intersection. Ah, oh shit. Did you guys see there was a... It's the worst place to get shot. There was a school shooting yesterday. Damn.

Go on. The guy livestreamed some of it. No. He's tried to damn real How'd the numbers do? They do like a live spot in the middle of it yeah, can you imagine but it was a real that for That's not okay No, like there is a limit here It's not okay. Oh, you don't?

No, like there is a limit here. This was a really confusing one though because it was a younger black kid, black guy, I mean he's a student obviously, but he hated black people. Like his manifesto is very anti minorities of all sorts. And he like quotes a bunch of... So you're on the fence on whether you should hate this guy.

No, it's just a weird one. I'm thinking about some regular, schmegular news guy at Mainstream News, like David Meir, the ABC news guy with perfect hair, is like, what the fuck is this? I'm used to the normal options here. Yeah, if you shout up a bunch of white kids, that'd be great.

Right, they don't know what... Yeah, they're like... They got ladies white kids, that'd be great. Right, they don't know what that would be. They got ladies shooting up schools now? Yeah. Really? Well, kind of. Equality, my guys. Boy, that's great.

Because I have two daughters, and I'd love to show them that. It's her story. You can be anything you want to be. It's her story. I showed them this. You can be a line judge or a school shooter. It's going to be like a Debbie MBA MBA situation. You're going to put up less numbers than your male

counterparts. But that's not what's important. You're gonna put up less numbers than your male counterparts. But that's not what's important. You're doing what you love. Well, we've already taught her that she could perhaps be an NBA referee in the regular season. You guys know that? They don't use any of them in the playoffs? No.

I saw one was really bad in a Mavs game earlier this year. And that was the only time that I've been like, ugh. And it sucks too though, because you know that it's no worse than the males. Yes, absolutely. It's just 90% males, and you're just used to like, this ref sucks, but when it's a woman, you're like, oh, rock that.

Oh, rock that. And you're like. Leave Luke alone. Yeah. Jealous. Born on this day now, or excuse me, dead on this day, you have Bob Keeshawn, who is Captain Kangaroo. I know nothing about that.

No? I know it was a TV show. How about from that song? Johnny Counting Flowers on the Wall, that don't bother me at all. Playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of 51. Is it Roger Miller? I think it was originally Roger Miller. I don't know.

I enjoyed it. Then there was another guy. I enjoyed the cover of it. It was in Pulp Fiction, right? That song? Yes. But I don't remember Captain Kangaroo being part of it. Captain Kangaroo.

Yeah, I don't know. Keep going, man. I like it. Do it with the Irish accent. I remember it very spotily. Oh, oh, forget about me, Blue don't know. Keep going, man. I like it. Do it with the Irish accent. I remember it very spot on. Oh. Oh, forget about me, blue as I am. Damn, he was the best of all of us.

That is funny. Johnny Carson died on this day. Yeah, I know he's a terrible guy, but I was a big, big fan growing up. Get a stamp late in the early years. He was a bad guy, though. Look. What'd he do that was bad?

What an entertainer, though. Tommy V Vy stuff with Carson is real tough. The what stuff? Oh, okay, yeah. I read a book. I read his, whatever, biography. It's tough. And Larry King. Larry King. Died on this day.

Pound for pound, the best marriage tab on a Wikipedia page ever. Why? It's so good. He just married a million times? Yeah, and most of them were- best marriage tab on a Wikipedia page ever. It's so good. It's married a million times? Yeah, and most of them were- Remarried the same lady? He did that once, I believe.

Most of them were like a year, right? Like he would marry one lady for a year, marry another lady for two years, and then go back to the other one for a year. And I think the best part about it is, his last marriage, I think it was his seventh, started in 1997 and it went to 2019. That's the longest one he had by far.

Now you might be thinking like, oh yeah, he died. And that's when he died. No, Larry King died three years later. He got divorced from his law really finally some peace and quiet yeah and when he saw like I think I only have a few years left at that point you're just gonna go right? Screw it. Cause he died at the age of 87. So he's 84 like I can't I can't do this anymore. Get the fuck out of my house. I have to leave. Just keep the apartment. I don't give a shit. They've been together for 20 years.

Like yeah, why wouldn't you just kind of split up but you're still married? No, like I hate you. I absolutely hate you. That's great. One of my favorite Larry King things was when he didn't get one of Norm MacDonald's jokes. Iron? Who? I know Iron. Iron?

He had a very tough time with the Iron great. Oh, no. The man great. Yeah, I'm a deeply closeted gay man, or a deeply closeted homosexual. Larry King was just like, so you're gay? And then he would go, no. I'm deeply closeted. I'm deeply closeted.

Larry just couldn't wrap his head around. I don't know what you're saying to me. It is time for closing remarks, and that'll be brought to us today by Fairlease. Thank you, Fairlease. Don't they have a phone number or something? They have a website. Oh, a website. A very modern...

Whoa, wait a second. There it is on the screen. Fairlease has a website? Fairlease.org. Hit, I don't know, contact. How'd you hear about us. You'll figure it out. Yeah, dumb zone.

You'll figure it out. Select dumb zone and had you hear about us. What if you won't figure it out? Well, I just, I cleaned it up for you. So there you go. But yeah, wow. Want one of them to come sit in Jimmy's lap or do we have a mic?

Yeah, how are we going to do this? We could swap out with him. Yeah, you want to swap? Yeah. Oh, you don't have any remarks? You want to? Swing it over. OK.

He doesn't need headphones. Yeah, I don't know that I need headphones. Jimmy enjoys swapping. Perfect. Yeah, no, great. Not anything of substance, but just love what you guys do. So thanks for having us out happy that we had these guests, even though it was tough not listening to the Emmett

Smith roasts. That is tough. Oh, you didn't get to hear it because it was going through the head back and listen again. So okay, good. But yeah, happy that we can just play it again for you right now. Yeah, yeah. No, that's it. That it really good short and sweet thank you to the wife thank you Cassie booking Cassie booked it is this like a birthday celebration or is this just a Christmas gift oh a Christmas gift so what did you put under the tree to indicate that this was going to happen oh okay you didn't like he had this fun okay, do a bit. What'd you want?

You wanted like a 12 days of dumb show? I don't know, yeah, you know. Every day there's a... I turned it off and changed it. Yeah. So we're gonna- This is gonna be a special one. So we're gonna play the close. And for those listening, that'll be the end of the show.

But we want to keep the video rolling for the live stream, because we're going to do something today that we've never done before. Yeah, we're going to try it. OK? So we will say goodbye to you. Oh, but can we let them? Do you want to promote?

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, Scott. I forgot to do that earlier. We can put it in the show notes, too. January 30th, Rose City in Tyler, Texas. I'm going. Yeah, Scott. I forgot to do that earlier. We can put it in the show notes, too, obviously. January 30th, Rose City in Tyler, Texas. I'm going to be headlining. Come on out.

It's going to be a real good time. It's a real cool club. It used to be a 30 seater and a cell phone repair shop. And it's been growing for a few years. And it's a real beautiful redone, 160 seater. What's it called? Rose City. Yeah, Jimmy just headlined there last weekend.

And then I'll be there. I will be headlining Big Laugh Comedy Club March 6th. And that is a comedy club that I will be headlining, not a restaurant in Grapevine. And there will be seats for everyone. OK, what are you referring to here? I came on and promoted that show, and Dan came out, Jake came out,

and it sold great. All those people there were there for the show, but they didn't really advertise it on the website that you had to pay extra to have a chair. Yeah. So like all the seats, which were sparsely, they were spread out. And then you had, so people didn't know that.

And so 60% of the crowd just had to like stand in the back. So the seats are empty? There were like empty, a couple empty tables. Yeah. There's people jammed into the back by the bar. So it was like kind of chatty and just weirdly spaced. And we're like, hey, can, it's an hour and a half show can people sit down but they didn't have tickets it might work better if people could sit down we tell them yeah it was

fun though okay yeah you do an hour and a half no I was supposed to all the whole show got opened yeah the standard general it's like yeah there's usually usually a 90 minute show. It's like 15 for the opener, 30 for the feature, and an hour for the headliner. I really enjoyed, even though I'm sure you get tired of it, I really enjoyed Stone Cold, I think in therapy. Oh, yeah, Stone Cold Steve Austin in therapy.

Yeah, and I think that'd do it. Yeah, I think it's one of those deals where like I think a lot of people think they can do a Stone Cold and try it and you're like, ah, is it even worth trying it? But then yours was good enough that I was like, oh shit, like he actually did it. He actually pulled it off. What's your social stuff? I've noticed like Jimmy is not really on Twitter, right? But I'm not on Twitter.

You go to the gram. I'm not the gram. All comedians are kind of like that, aren't they? Instagram. Why is that? I don't know. Is Instagram funnier than Twitter? I think so.

I've never been on Twitter. Really? Yeah, I enjoy Twitter, but I use it more for a writing exercise than I do for a social media platform, I think. OK. I post jokes on there, but I don't have much of a following and I really just use it to like get things out and see how I feel about them and then Instagram's kind of my go-to. What's your uh? I'm at Scott Chris p-p-p with 3P's. 3P's. Yes sir. And you're Jimmy Nelson comedy on everything. Okay.

And our podcast is Oddball History, check us out. Yeah, check us out. They recently learned about how horny dolphins are. You know, it's something I've been talking about for years, how dolphins will rape. And these guys are gonna get the credit. It was a swing. Yeah, cause they're comedians.

They just come in late. We've been talking about it for years, but yeah. We swoop in. We swoop in with a specific horny dolphin from history. Name Peter. From the show Flipper, he was getting jacked off, but for science. The 60s were a different time, Dan.

They were giving him acid, trying to teach him English so they could communicate with extraterrestrials. Yeah, and he would get too distracted to learn language because he was rock hard all the time. They're like, well, we know what to do about it. Yeah, here's a volunteer who works here and this lady would jerk him off and then keep teaching him. If only all the fire engines had a Margaret on them.

Just handle a business. You all get back to what you do, all right? Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my videos. Let's all be just like Jake Who used to wake and bake But now he jogs around South Lake And owns up to all his mistakes He'll call out all the liars and fakes Just nod to their face Come on, don't be crazy It's the year of Jake Kemp Don't believe me, just ask him

It's the year of J.K. Nobody can pass him He's on the Notre Dame train For TC and for his leader Shane He's throwing 60 miles per hour with no pain Just for the respect of Dan that he will gain So put some respect on his fucking name Pour one out, or don't he doesn't drink, he's lame

Not lame, he just went to rehab to help himself contain Having too much fun, so his wife complained It's the year of J.Q. Don't believe me, just ask him It's the year of Jake Kim Nobody can pass him If Dion is the Coach, he'll rock blenders But no more fun night drinking benders He's the biggest Kaitlin Clark defender

I think he just wants to be all up in her That's gross, Jake, you're such a sinner Eating Taco Bell on your car tray before your vegan dinner Betting three dollars to win five You're such a winner, falling down with all my homes Passed like a fucking beginner It's the year of Jake Kim Don't believe me, just ask him

It's the year of Jacob Nobody can pass him It's the year of Jacob Don don't believe me just ask him It's the year of Jake, nobody can pass him