The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 12-17-24: Around the NFL and Brandon Aubrey with Mike Sirois

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

Hear the entire episode by subscribing at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneMike Sirois fills in for Dan today and we hear the crossover between what Xavier Legette and Jerry Jones have eaten in their life. We talk bit bands, Jake got ball sacked, and Dan's credit card story with the great Sea Cow ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hey now, what you are about to hear is a free preview of one of this week's premium episodes of The Dumb Zone. If you would like to hear this program in full, along with the full archive, Ah, shit. If you would like to hear this program in full, with the archive of all of our past episodes, you can subscribe at dumbzone.com. And then I also, I don't think I've talked about this. I've told Dan about it, but anybody who's been to

treatment knows this. It's crazy because I've actually seen this being advertised during football games now. Hems is selling it under a different name. Hems has like dick pills. Hair.

I think I even bought my nuclear grade Hems is selling it under a different name. Hems has like dick pills. Hair. Hair. I think I even bought my nuclear grade deodorant from them. Oh, really? It's all men's stuff. Yeah. But there's a pill you can take. There's a couple different versions of it that actually curbs your appetite to drink. Is that right? Yeah.

You are taking it? Every day. It's called naltrexone. Now, I was taking it before also. Okay. So it's not to say that it doesn't work, but it did make me drink less. So I was still drinking, but it was like a few a day or a few every few days. But I couldn't just stop, stop.

Yeah. But it does work. You have to like want it to work, but it does. It definitely works. And other people go and they get like a shot every month you can do that too really but yeah i've seen advertisements during college football it's like uh medication to help you curb or completely stop drinking and it it works okay but you gotta take it we write all these down so i do that and then the rest of it

is all yeah like a b vitamin a D vitamin basically I got my blood work done and the guy was like try this and wrote me like a treatment plan of prescription not prescriptions of subs when you were drinking toward the end did you did your blood work come back like oh shit it wasn't oh shit but it was

good my enzymes were elevated and my cholesterol was not good and I knew pretty clearly what that was you know It wasn't good. My enzymes were elevated, and my cholesterol was not good. And I knew pretty clearly what that was. My diet was not good, but it wasn't horrible. I don't like it. I've been waking up with that, thinking, all right, well, I drink, I vape, I don't eat good, I don't work out. They're never coming for the vape, buddy.

I do something else that's bad. I'm like, what am I doing that's good? I need to shake out of this, and I need you two to help me. We got about an hour and a half. I mean, I can tell you, you know, there should be something like rehab for people who aren't, like, for sure that they're addicts. Because your insurance will pay for it. You're already paying for your insurance. And if you can get them to send you somewhere for a little while,

now the problem is you're probably going to have to go for four weeks. And I don't even know if that's true, but it is a threat that they present to you. The idea that if you leave AMA, that your insurance could buck back and be like, then we're not covering any of it. But I have a suspicion that's more of a threat. Yeah.

They want to paper tiger. Yeah. But it's pretty great. I mean, I've been, I heard from a guy that went to my place, my place, the place that I went, uh, that house on his, uh, on his first, you know, what do they call it? Like outing last weekend. He's been there long enough to where he gets to leave with his phone. He texted me and he was like, Hey, it's dope.

Yeah. I feel great. And I mean, dude, it's weird. I know this, like you're one of the few people I'm comfortable being like the full douchebag that I am in front of. Thank you. I don't know why, but I like legit feel like God when I wake up now. Like I feel so good.

Like I feel like this is how a human being is supposed to feel. Like my mind is clear physically. I don't even need that much sleep. But when I get it, it's even better. Like I'm achieving more every day just from thinking, reading, exercise, getting things done than I ever thought was possible. No, I'm not. And you know me.

I'm already kind of like, what's the next thing? What's the next thing, guy? Now I can do it, and it doesn't drive me crazy. Well, yeah, I'll return the super gay volley, and I'll be like, it's sort of inspiring in that I'm like, what time did you wake up this morning? I actually slept until 5.30 today, which is not common. I went to bed at about 3.30.

Yeah? And I was looking at my phone thinking, Jake's waking up. I was up at 3.00 yesterday for sure. Planned a war zone? No. It was a birthday party. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

On that note, we were at Royal royal china we went to that's where she wanted to go get some dumplings and some food the place is so fucking i've never been i know it's amazing there's one in dallas and plano right i have no idea all i know is dallas right on royal and preston and 745 reservation right and uh i'm there on time three of us me my mom christina and then kasha mary show up 15 20 minutes late her sister showed up late and i was just sitting there shaking my head thinking you know what my new thing punctuality and i was 10 minutes late to this podcast oh that's okay that's okay i mean it's progress not perfection starting in 2025 yeah exactly in the new year. And in my defense, I was out front, parked in front of Dan's house,

just cry laughing at Ticket Middays. You're a jerk. I couldn't get out of the car. I believe they're probably on dry dock anyways. I don't know who you're taking shots at. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's a good scene right now. I love it. But look, I don't know, man. It's, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good scene right now. I love it.

But, uh, look, I mean, the next breakdown is always right around the corner. No, no. Um. Is that, oh God, that's a long, different conversation, but. Dude, we're here. I mean, that's something you think about. Do whatever you want today. Do you think about that?

How hard, how hard is it? I mean, do you think, like, we do these fucking watch alongs and I'm, our knees are touching. Yeah. Am I going to get. And I'm having a damn Tito's or whatever. No, no, that's not really, that's actually not hard for me. But there, I would say once a week, maybe twice a week, it's like, oh, the marathon. When I ran the half marathon the other day, there's booze everywhere. Oh, at the end?

Even during, dude. It's like, dude, trays of Fireball, trays of Jameson. People have mimosas in disposable cups along the way, beer bongs. What the fuck kind of marathon is this? This is common, dude. Really? Yeah. Think about where you're running.

I know for 5Ks, but not for halves and full. Full, I don't know how you do that. I'm sure some people do. Shit, there was that guy in default, I'm going to say India or China, who ran like a full while chain smoking. It is possible. But those people are also built different. Because I think they just start so young.

But even at the end, you have two tickets for beers, and your body feels great. And I was like, damn is i feel it today yeah i'm sure there's a chemical reaction of like you accomplish something or you even said like the friday afternoon beer yeah of like damn it's time to unwind and you just naturally think oh a drink yeah there's or even you know walking out after the uh the live stream all you guys were huddled together and some people were smoking cigarettes. I bet you just kind of missed that camaraderie of just drinking with people.

Yeah, I do. But also, some of that had already gone away because I have two kids. So it's not like we were going out that much anymore. I'd already kind of packed it in for life. But I'm still going on a snowboarding trip in February. And I think I'm actually going to come out of retirement even though I never. Last time I went, I was like, I'm never doing this again. Where are you going?

It's just, I can't remember. Is it Taos? Yeah. Yeah, I know. But I'm saying I can't remember which one of the two we actually. Angel Fire, maybe. Okay. Yeah.

Buddy's parents have a little cabin up there and four or five of us go. But last time I went, I was like, I'm never doing this again. I don't enjoy it. I'm out of shape. I was hungover. My body felt like shit. I fell once and was like, that's it. Was it ice?

I've had – Because if it's hard packed or ice and you fall – And my foot was kind of messed up already going into it. And I was just like, I'm done. I'm not having fun right now. You get sick on the way up. Yeah, I did. I had horrible motion sickness on the way up and just couldn't beat it.

Why don't you do the switch to skiing? It's not really the snowboarding that's that much of a problem for me. I don't think I'm, I'm not good, but I'm not bad. It's more just that I was probably drunk or hungover. My body was in terrible shape. I was beaten. I just didn't want to do it. Carl Weathers had just died.

That did happen, which resulted in us watching a C-Dub marathon that weekend. The whole ski lift up. You're just picturing an old sweet Carl. A long ride to the top of the mountain. I say that to say I think I can go on a trip like that now and enjoy myself other ways and it not be a problem. Have you been to a bar? I went to a 40th birthday party at a brewery. Fuck, see?

Within two weeks of getting home. And this is something that many people in the recovery community would tell you is you can't do this. But I did have like two of their – they have like on-draft THC seltzers. And they feel each about like a beer and a half to me. And it was – I've also been around other situations where people were drinking not at a bar and didn't have that option though, and it really wasn't a problem for me yeah i find it all very fascinating but to blake's point i do miss like the uh just the dive bar with four or five or even one friend yeah you know i remember dude

around this time of year i would work mornings usually when I was at the station. And usually I would only – I think I would – it was typically just Friday, but shit, sometimes we would do it during the week too. Like me and Sam Anderson would go meet at Showdown. I think you've been there with me before. Terrible bar in West Fort Worth. Love it, love it. Just absolute asshole. And it was buy one, get one free from like noon to six.

Whoa. So I would get off work at 10 from the station, nothing to do, and we would just go hard. Yeah. Just the two of us just sit there and bullshit. And it was packed. Yeah. You know, from guys who got off from the GM plant at 11.

That's what I miss. Yeah. Because you're not doing that without drinking. Not for five hours. Yeah. Mine shifted into drinking at home, which is probably a bigger. I don't know. I think some people think that that's like, oh, that's horrible.

But I don't know. I think that's fine. I mean, either one are only bad if you do it, then I don't know. I think some people think that that's like, oh, that's horrible. But I don't know. I think that's fine. Either one are only bad if you do it, then you can't stop. Yeah. Well, anyways. You want to talk a little Billy Strings? Sure. Because I talked about on the show that I ran into you and your brother Cash.

That was shocking. And I felt obviously really out of place because we can get into the crowd that Billy Strings brings in. But I was very much just like in the crowd just head down like i don't want to be here and then i hear saroy laugh and i was like oh something i recognize comforting and then we made eye contact like what are we doing here and it was actually kind of nice to talk were you in the pit were you general admission no no i was not in the pit. I can't remember the last time I GA'd it. Yeah.

I cannot, dude. It might have been hangout. No, I guess I've been to a couple other smaller festival type things, but that. I do try to avoid it, but some places like the factory, for instance, I mean, it's almost all of the pit unless you pay quadruple to sit up top or whatever. No, but the uh the ga crowd provided me a lot of entertainment that night yeah there was a lot of shit to look at i think we both noticed the girl who spun in a circle for two hours i told you that's there was a half or

maybe a third of the people there were essentially like a fish show i mean that's what they were dressed they were dressed up in the tight eyes and spinning and doing all this shit. Did you hate the concert? I didn't hate it, but I think it was too long to listen to a jam band. That's the thing about them. Dude, I kind of hated it. Really? Yes. Okay.

I didn't know shit about them, and I listened to his album, and it's fucking good. This is Christina related? Really? No, this is Cash. Okay. And Cash didn't really know exactly what it was, but this is a jam band. It was so masturbatory, them just continuing to fucking noodle bluegrass. I thought that was the whole deal with Fish, too.

It's not at all. No, that's- Okay, don't yell at me. I thought that was the bit. It's like, hey, these guys are- No, Fish plays songs, and then, yes, they go off on a journey, and then they're telling a story with their instruments. These guys are just plucking. i i can't stand that and they're clearly good five of them five

different instruments amazing you passed the test yeah like a long time ago no jake made fun of me because i thought because it's very repetitive because they're all playing basically the same instrument there's not a drum there's not a drum on the stage it's five stringed instruments and he was like, well, don't you think Billy strings would have led you to believe that? But I didn't, I didn't even listen to the album beforehand.

I just wanted to be, uh, you know, impressed by what I was going to see. But yeah, it was like, and I said this on the show, anytime he actually played a song that people had heard about,

people went ape shit. They loved it. Yeah. But then he would just like, like you said, take this journey or whatever for 10 minutes and just...

And then, it's this guy's turn. Yes. Every song, he kicked it to the other four people to do their interpretation of where we are at in the song. Yeah.

We call that the ender. You do that at the end, right? You know? Every song. Hey, I'm over here from Boulder, Colorado. Hey, give it up. Yeah, that's, you know, like Zach Bryan does that. I don't know if he still ends with a revival,

but it'll go 10 minutes, but it's the end. And that's how we know we're at the end. I also kept watching the guy playing the standing bass because he was just humping that thing for two and a half hours. We had plenty of time to chat, and I was talking to Cash about that. Like, is the standing bass? I was like, which of these instruments would you fail the least at

if you just zapped on stage with Billy Strings as these people are incredibly proficient? And you have to pick the bass, the stand-up bass, because he's kind of just thumping. No, no, no. I was actually going to say. Absolutely incredible at whatever he's doing. I was going to say, I think for me, that may be the lowest because I can play guitar.

So I would approach like a guitar or a banjo or. Ukulele was up there. I think I can get. I've actually, I've played those things poorly, but I've played them before. Whereas I feel like with a standup bass, somebody coming in fresh completely. There's no idea what that would. might have a better chance with it. Well, I don't play guitar, so I can't do any of them, and you'd be exposed instantly no matter what.

But at least the bass seems like, all right, he's just plucking these couple at the end, and this hand's moving around. I'll get you a dong, dong, dong, dong. Walk it out. For three fucking hours, Billy Strings, I can get you a dong, dong, dong. Yeah, he was just up there trying to groove and move. From my angle, he was just giving that

thing a business. But my take was that I just assumed you and Cash were into this because it's a bit. What? You went two different ways in that sentence. It's not a bit. No, this is a bit. Bluegrass is a bit, especially if you're not actually living in the foothills. I like songs.

I like lyrics. Okay, but typically they're not just about normal things. There's nothing. There's very obtuse lyrics. Okay. I don't know if we're just talking about bluegrass in general. No, no. I'm saying bluegrass fits in with E6.

No, no. Just that it's a bit. Fish is a bit band. Fish is not. a bit. Phish is a bit band. Phish is not. A hundred percent Phish is not a bit band. Electric Six, I won't argue with you. You can argue. Although they fucking rock.

That's not. Just because their lyrics and songs happen to, half of them be kind of funny. I'm not saying they don't rock. It doesn't make them not an incredible piece of American music history i might go so far as to say there are very few bands with cult followings that aren't bit bands most of them are because you can't really describe what genre they are

but well who's not a bit band like like I don't think Pearl Jam is a bit band. I don't really like Pearl Jam's music, but to me what they are is like the platonic ideal, the best version of just really regular music. Whereas Phish, even the Dead. Regular music, fine, but. It's just like, I think Tool is a bit band. And there are very few people who like Tool

who aren't like, Tool's the greatest band of all time. Yeah, no, I agree. There's something to this sort of, like, I don't think Zeppelin is a bit band. I don't think Metallica is a bit band. Hell, I was a huge Blink-182 fan. But that's about as straightforward as it gets.

You're choosing bands that are among the more popular of whatever common genre that you know we've been conditioned to believe is rock cool yeah so if they're a jam band there's already in this bit category for you that it's because you have that genre slotted or bluegrass in that case yeah but like i think that if... Are the Beatles a bit band? No. No. Just because they were so early?

Well, also, their music sounds very... The thing you get into with the Beatles is how much they set the tone or foundation. Of course, you can go back and say, actually, they just stole everything from black musicians. But their time signatures are all very similar. Their songs are about... They're pop songs. You know what I mean? They're pop, pop.

I guess that's really what I'm saying. Exactly. It's something that can become very popular because it's digestible. That's why when you listen to Metallica... Have you ever fired up the YouTube videos where someone will play Metallica in major keys or someone will play Blink in minor keys or someone will play Blink in minor keys and they just sound exactly the same. It's just like, well, here's

the dark version of this and here's the light version, but they're both straightforward as fuck. Whereas, you're going to go on a little journey with Astronautilus. They've got some... I feel like there's just a negative connotation to Bit Bang. And that's your problem.

And it is. And I guess I get defensive about that. And I won't argue that E6 probably is in that category. But fish, absolutely not. Oh, okay. Laser, obviously. Well, yeah. Well, who is the biggest street teamer for Laser?

Laser's fucking hilarious and brilliant. Okay, is Father John Mistischia a bit artist? Man, he's right on the line. Okay. He is right on the line. He would probably say absolutely I'm a bit. Yeah. But that also might be why he's not.

Like Sturgill's not. Okay. But Father John is right there. He's right there. Well, anyways, we got Brandon on here today. One thing I had, how's your skincare routine? What is that? For some reason in my mind, it's been probably three years ago now,

but I remember us talking. It was either in the control room or in the studio, and you were about to, like, you guys may have talked about it on the air. Embark on a skincare regime? I'm going to start taking care of my skin. Okay. And did you ever follow up on this? You know what?

I have. It's funny. You talked about all your medications. You have some serums? No. Although my Instagram keeps pumping beef tallow as the key to. I use it every day. Do you really?

I started about a month ago. Because of Instagram? No. Well, you know. And they show these hot, like, 58-year-old dudes with the perfect gray hair. Yeah. And the hot Asian girl can't stop looking at him when he walks by. They're like, it's beef tallow.

Right. I'm like, fuck, I need beef tallow. So I'd heard of it before, but really only as it relates to McDonald's fries. Okay. You know that bit? No. Like, they used to cook their fries in tallow. And in Europe, I guess,

the McDonald's there still use tallow. And it's healthier for you than I guess vegetable oil. Vegetable oil. Vegetable oil is pretty horrible for you. And that's a part of the whole RFK thing is like using those sorts of oils or that sort of animal fat.

So I was aware that it was having kind of a moment um but no we went to the farmer's market in dallas for our 10th anniversary that's it was part of that that sounds like a pretty weak 10th anniversary that's like me taking christina to the dolphins texans game and so there was a guy. They're selling all their stuff out there, and it was pretty cheap. The guy had very good skin. He did look good, like an older guy. I'll try it. Couldn't tell how old he was. I'll try it.

I've been using it every day, and I feel like it does have. Now, it's tough to tell if it was that or cutting out roughly 1,200 empty calories of alcohol and junk food. Some other changes. But I don't know. It feels good. I have an eye cream that I use. Okay, a little night cream? Yeah.

I put it on this morning, to be honest. I didn't know if this was on camera or not. I wanted to look nice for you guys. I'm sorry. Thankfully, it's not because that shit don't work. No, no. And I like it. And I'm like, Thankfully, it's not because that shit don't work. No, no. And I like it. And I'm like, I think it's working.

I bought the expensive one. I wish I could tell you. Reddick? I couldn't tell you the name. But it's like 50 bucks for a fucking little tube. Ouch. And I've been using it for like a year, two years maybe. I just want to do something.

Why not care a little bit about your fucking self? At least on the exterior if the interior is the fucking devil's anus. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I've been putting powder on my balls. Okay, there you go. Powdering up?

Mm-hmm. Gold bond? Medicated? Yeah. A little Johnson & Johnson. Just daily? Yeah, I feel fresh. Makes me feel fresh.

After you play 27 holes in the summertime. No. It makes me feel good. Okay. I think it's smoother down there post shower dry thoroughly dry powder up yeah daily yes interesting didn't you tell us though and i'm not even kidding that you do apply it like in happy baby posts i tried that like he lays down where where do you lay down well i would i get that i put my bath towel down and then uh yeah happy baby it because if you apply standing up, you lose like half of it.

Right. So I thought, well, let me just reverse gravity here and do it like that. But then I just felt weird because one time my wife walked in. She was just butt bonging. Yeah, you know what? You play some butt bongos like the halftime show guy. Maybe there's a better way to do this. So I just put my underwear on and then the underwear'll catch it and then you get some reserve for later the undies

yeah see if i ever i'm gonna do it which is pretty rare only after like a lot of golf or activity i do in the shower just a palm full post dry but back in the shower quick quick slap quick thump yeah that's good and yes're going to lose a lot of it. Kind of look like LeBron, though. Yeah, you do that at the end. Yeah. Get ready to take on the day. You don't want to be rolled up in the bathroom

and have your wife walk in. It's a sad time. Anytime you have the bathroom door locked and you're sitting on the floor. There's no good scenario. Yeah. It's happened a few times. There's no good scenario. It's happened a few times. There's no good scenario there.