The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 2-26-26 | What to believe in the Brandon Aubrey negotiations from Cane Rosso

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

Get every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to the show at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneThe negotiations with our good friend, Brandon Aubrey, have gone public and now fans begin picking sides. We discuss how the talks are probably going and more from the Cane Rosso at The Star with Mike Sirois and TC Fleming (00:00) - Open: From Cane Rosso with Mike Sirois (11:54) - Sports: What to make of the Brandon Aubrey negotiations (39:24) - Jake and TC saw Nick Offerman (01:02:10) - Big Thursday Viewer Mail Bag (01:27:36) - Brewers starting pitcher, Kyle Harrison (01:54:41) - News: Frisco King starring Samuel L. Jackson (02:18:42) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, long-time professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you will get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon, get you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain.

Now, on to today's program. Don't have me. Flooring Direct DFW. What's the special website they have just for us? FlooringDirectDFW.com slash dumbzone. Actually, I think Dumbzone or DZ work. Yeah. Talk to Dan yesterday, as a matter of fact.

It's on Business Wednesday. Very good conversation. Off the air was just talking to him about how business is going. Dan decided it was a very good conversation. Ah, yeah. Well, it was just the prodding of my prodding. I had him on the run. He was afraid.

He was crying by the end of it with joy because he says the zero interest financing for 36 months is going awesome. He goes, none of our competitors are offering something like this. No interest financing for 36 months. Can you believe? it. Celebrate a third Cowboy Super Bowl in a row by paying for your floors in 2029. You can get that five-star installation. You can get a free estimate.

You can get all of it. Flooring direct. All from your home. Right? Dot com slash DZ. Direct right to you. They bring the floors right to you. You can feel them.

You can lay on them. Flooring direct, DFW.com slash DZ. Scheduled that free estimate today. You got a while to go to hit the post. thought you were going to say something cool about dance. I really like hearing the guitar. Our pros are the nicest.

We've got the best prices for being direct. Girl talk. Thank you. Yeah. You're saying I'm similar to that. You were looking Lai Roso at the Star in Frisco. Should we do this like wacky FM radio? You ever see Jeff Kay do it at a bone remote?

I'm not sure I have. How did he do it? They usually do it when they're coming out of break. Oh, my God. Look how famous that guy is. I know. I was like, would we see famous people here? It's one of the dream team.

The legal dream team. No, they'll do it during the break. You'll seen Jim Knox do it during the break. Kind of whip them up. Yeah, kind of like a, hello friends. We're here at Kanye Rocio in Frisco. Frisco. Coney.

Football. There's a football field right over there. Yes, we're at the star in Frisco. He just hangs out here. We're at the star. It's right across from, like, this has to be premier location. Yeah, this is the place to see and be seen, whether you're a dumb zone lawyer or our good friend on a Thursday, Mike Soroy.

Hey. Hey. Hello. His appearance. One woo. I'll take that. I'll take one woo. I'll take two woos.

Two from the same person. You got to get the crowd, you see. What's up? T.C. Fleming is here as well. Oh my God. Your opportunity to meet T.C. is today. He's been very reclusive lately. At some point in the first half of the show, I will need T.C. and potentially Clayton to be able to speak from a technical standpoint.

Oh, okay. I was going to say, I talked to him earlier. He's very able to speak. Yeah. We will review our trip to see Nick Offerman. Oh, yeah. Thank you. An evening of comedy with Woodward. Looking and bookish mirth. Okay. She's coming back to him. Which was kind of like ordering enchiladas with beans and rice, but they didn't bring the enchiladas.

There was definitely bookish mirth and woodworking, but less comedy. But I've lost Dan to the water chase. No, no, no, I'm watching the water. You're just teasing something. What I want to do is tell people. You don't want that water? Give it to him. No, I'm fine.

It means more to him. It means more to him. Get it too water. You touched it. I don't want it. I touched the side of it. No, no, your hands on it. Dude, please.

No, you probably went to the bathroom in it when I wasn't looking. She said these are the last two waters they had, too, when she said to Zah. So. No, I want to say out here at Conne Roso today, if indeed you show up. And even if you're already here, I will let you know that we, the dumb zone, not by my choice, but more like because Blake mentioned it. on the show, so then we have to do it. We are going to pay for half of everybody's check today. Yeah, get some to go.

Get some to go. Get some beers. Not just pizza, which Blake did allude to in the tweet. It's not just pizza, but anything you order, even if you order, the caprice salad. Okay. I'm just trying to pick something else off the menu. It's wild. Four caprice salads, it's probably great. Yeah.

And so let's say, though, you're here and you're just, you're not a dumb, you didn't come here at the behest of the dumb zone. Right. I'm horrible. That's perfect. Yeah. Yes, you can. Just show your server that you're following us, that you're subscribing on YouTube and your Apple podcast and you're in. Server made it through the woke storm, huh?

What do you mean? The word server? Yeah, I don't remember that ever being one where people are like, that's racist. Like the bedroom. Oh, okay. I don't, I mean, maybe I missed it. Well, the prevalence of waiter, but server, you still here. Yeah.

You just said it. I did. That doesn't mean, if I say it, it doesn't mean it's not racist. That's a good point. Yeah. Speaking of that, I heard Mike Soroy on his show debating. I don't like speaking of that. Indian culture.

Speaking of races. Yeah. And they headwips to me. Indian culture and eating cows. Okay, yeah. And it is, I can't give you the specifics. even if I wanted to, to look it up, I couldn't tell you, because I tried. It has to do, like a lot of these things do with many, many years ago, there was a practical reason to not eat them.

To keep them for work purposes. They were good for agriculture. Yeah. They were good for milk. They were hard to refrigerate or keep fresh. So that's how all these things start. But it's still religion-based, right? Now.

But it never was before. Before it was the people who made it in Hindu areas were the people who didn't eat cows. Right. Because they kept them alive for milk and for agriculture. So then over time, it became custom. Like, obviously you don't eat the cow. Right. We need them.

The religion then says, we don't eat the cow. Yeah. The reason today they don't eat the cow has nothing to, you know, see what I'm saying? Yes. That's what almost all of these things you find are. It started as some practical reason. It's such an overpopulated, often poor nation. Because, like, Cash was saying, like, he would get off a train.

and you know you might see people sleeping on the street that's not super uncommon in any major city except there you would see people in a cow people starving in the shadow of a cow yeah just sleeping on sleeping on the streets with a cow cash was in india it was some years ago but yeah wasn't he with like uh one of the arquettes or something catch's life is a match he think it was India, but he actually landed in Florida. Okay. Or like in Oklahoma or... No, isn't that the Columbus story, right?

Columbus? Oh, I thought we were doing like a dot or feather type thing. My daughter asked me that the other day. I think I told you guys that. She said those terms? Yes. Okay. What she asked if those terms were okay to say?

No. She, the topic of Indian came up and she was like the type that have the dot or the type that have the head thing is actually what she said and pointed to the... I remember like sixth grade the first time I heard that. I thought that was about the funniest thing. Yeah, that is good. No, I'm putting this in my act. Top half of the act.

So here at The Star and Frisco, I should mention the Conne Rosa remote qualifies as a PLE. Oh, shoot. We are live. Yeah. Many of us are listening, many people are listening live on tape. But we actually do this live. And when we do a PLE, we have a drone. Okay.

It's kind of like the Goodyear Blimp, if you recall that. for many years ago. This is the Qualis drone. This is what Qualis roofing will use to evaluate. And you can see it flying overhead right now if you check out our YouTube page. That is the star. You have live video? Yeah, that is the football field. Whoa.

This is Conne Roso right there. Oh, kidding. That's right. Hell, on the top of Conne Roso, I'm not sure if they've done this location. It might be community mechanical's HVAC work. Wow. Does Qualis Roofing do commercial roofs? check out QualisGC.com and find out.

I don't know. I actually don't. Get your roof. They probably do, though. Right? Yeah, I think so. I think they could do your commercial. I think they could do your residential.

I think they could do your inspection. Can they do one of those like Mexican house type roofs? Now, what does that mean? You've seen those. You know what I mean. When I say it, you know. And now you're like, oh, I'm a couple of different. I'm a guy who doesn't say anything.

No, because I think what I'm going to just try to work through it. Do you mean like a ranch, Southwest style. Because in Mexico... It's like these hard... Like curved... Spanish. Spanish style.

There you go. Yeah. What's different? What's the difference? Spain? In Mexico, I think there are a lot of houses that are actually built out of like... Mud?

Or clay. Adobe's. I thought you were doing a joke about whether or not Qualis would flourish in like a hut neighborhood. Oh, no, no. I meant the Spanish style. Got it. But then I'm, you know...

Got it. I'm from a different area. So it's all Mexican to me. Or did they do those hard? Do you ever, you got any neighbors with the silver roof? No, I've never had a neighbor with that. I have seen it before. Yeah.

It just feels very look at me. What's the reason? Just feels, I don't know. I think the only people that have that are the biggest houses in the neighborhood. So I'm thinking they are the most expensive. They must be the most awesome. The super new modern house that just sticks out like a sore thumb in a neighborhood. You know, like they try to change.

the whole thing. Dan's neighborhood has that, like, one out of every five. Yeah. Like, four of them feel like, what's the name of the lady, Paula, who had the race. Poundstone. Abdul. Paula Dean lives there or decorated. She's out front, welcome you to Southern Living.

And, like, one out of every five houses is Peter Thiel. And there's, like, a robot out front. Just all squares, all cubes. It's very, very aggressive. Very aggressive. Well, our top story is brought to us by Community Mechanical. This will be our top sports story of the day. Community Mechanical is our HBAC company.

Oh, yeah, I like that. And they once helped out a man. He was on a rookie contract. Looking to save every penny. Three-year deal or two-year deal? Three-year, right? He's three years. Three with the RFF.

rate year plus. Yeah. So they, he was an NFL player on a, and a very low contract. But, you know, that's,

that was the going rate at the time for an undrafted free agent, kicker. And this guy had an air conditioning problem, had a company come out and say,

you know what, man, this is jacked. There'll be about $15,000 to replace this whole thing. And he was like, whoa! Well, it's a third of my contract.

That's one kick. And so he checked with Community Mechanical. And Community came out. They said, yeah, here's a part that we could probably get by tomorrow. They did. They fixed it for $150. What is that of a reduction of when you talk 15,000 to 100? Value.

One percent? Yeah. Massive. Is that 1% of it? I don't know what that is. but it's a very low. 0.001. The point is, then they walked out of there with $150.

That's all he paid. The air conditioning and the HVAC unit is still great. That was last year. That's right. So if you're just worried about someone trying to take advantage of you, just give them a chance to earn your business. CommunityDFW.com. Now, Brandon Aubrey better be happy that he saved money that day

because I don't need this greedy SOB trying to hold my team over the barrel. Does he not care about the team over there? What about the star? This guy wants to be, what he wants to be paid like, you know, Aaron Judge or something? What are we doing here? So Blake sent us the first tweet or text or something that went out that was clearly a leak from the Cowboys side.

Let me even look at Blake's text yesterday. Well, I don't think Blake's text was that clear, to be honest, because I was confused. Clarence's tweet, which I think is what Blake was referencing, was just that they had offered him a number that would make him the highest paid kicker. Yes, Clarence Hill tweeted, The Cowboys offered to make Brandon Aubrey the highest pay kicker in the NFL

last September. Ooh, last September. That's probably of note here. You'd have to go back and look. Surpassing, no. This is his current tweet. He is saying the Cowboys offered him last September. surpassing the 6.4 million annual salary of Harrison Bucker, per source.

The Cowboys did not offer Aubrey's $7.5 million or even $7 million, but it was more than Bucker. Per source, Aubrey's agent, Todd France, counted with $10 million annual offer and shut down negotiations until getting on the bus at the Combine on Wednesday. The Cowboys don't plan to up their offer are comfortable placing the same. second round tender on him, which could result in restrictive free agent deal of 5.5 to 5.8 million and take their chances on getting a second round pick if he signs elsewhere. Stay tuned. So, yeah, that is the Cowboys putting out the, they're putting out their sources are not,

I don't know why they don't just throw their name on it. I don't know why he can't, Stephen Jones can't say, just say it's Stephen Jones said this. because it's Stephen Jones saying this. Yeah, it's very, very obvious. Like, who else would it be? And you either know it's the team or the agent. And it's a very Stephen Jones thing to say, well, we offered him that last year,

and they didn't want that. That, to me, is one of the biggest differences between Stephen and Jerry's. I feel like Jerry will just say it. But I remember back when my brother was working with the agent of Dalton Schultz, and that went super sideways, if you remember. and they had a lot of complaints about it. Just people have complaints about dealing with Stephen.

Now, I guess every player is going to have complaints about dealing with management. But, you know, it's not like he worked his way up through the league either, you know. He may have a unique way of dealing with people relative to other NFL GMs. Yeah, it's a funny, funny game they are able to play the Cowboys with the power of the Star and what the Cowboys mean. But Jerry can always kind of be the good guy. he comes in at the end i'll i'll get to marcus lawrence signed and then he does yeah or i'll get micah well that doesn't always work but the point here is that and that's what i when i texted back to you guys and so it begins because this is the game i don't know if this

is the game and with every NFL franchise it may be yep but i know it's the game with the cowboys this is like uh over and over and over again it's an initiative It's like succession, bore on the floor. Let's go back to like, walk around in the social media for a few days of us floating insane numbers. And then, by the way, I put

a video in there from his agent's Instagram so you guys can see it if you want, but his agent, who is Todd France of CAA, Dax agent. You know Brandon and Dack are business close at least seem like they're close so they share an agent.

Todd France posts a video of himself, walking up to the Cowboys bus with started from the bottom by Drake playing and a caption that it says, let's see if I can read it to you. Todd France did? Yeah, the NFL Combine, where misinformation spreads like wildfire,

looking forward to my meeting with the Cowboys on the bus, hashtag Aubrey, and then like the hmm face. And then it's got like the rap music playing as he's walking up to the bus. Like he's, I love it. Like, he's a gladiator or a wrestler.

Yes. Well, that's part of this is, I mean, Todd France. He's whacked their P.P. before. Well, no, yeah, but he's in this for Brandon Aubrey, but he's also in this for Todd France because he. Sure. Wants other potential, you know, clients to say, boy, I want the guy that gets the highest contract at every position.

Dude, think of it like this. It's proportional. This difference between six and eight for him is like the difference between getting 30 or 40 for a quarterback or a receiver or something. They want, you know, he's getting his percent of that. Well, also. I'm not surprised this is going like this. Let me explain something else that is part of the Cowboys game,

which we also dealt with, part of our game, is that they will focus on one thing and they know that you will latch on to that. And very surprisingly, some of our coworkers also latched onto that and said, hey, they said the money was right. So what's the holdup? Let's go. Let's go. We're all friends here, right?

We're all just keep the team together. The money's right. All right, yeah. But they threw in things that were not in the last contract. Which in theory have monetary value to be bargained. Right. And then they said, well, there's no bargaining. Taking something away.

We will not even talk about that at all. You would be paid more. Yeah. Well, wait. No. Okay. So like this one part of. of this whole deal is right.

But that would be like saying, but they offered a six-month deal. Yeah, but the money's right. Okay, see, that's what we don't know. All you know is, at least from the Cowboys' perspective, they offered him to be the highest paid kicker in the NFL. And they turned it down. Oh.

Okay. That's what I'm saying. Get lost, buddy. Okay, Harrison Bucker makes $6.4 million. I believe it's a four-year deal, and I believe that $17 million is guaranteed. And then, so the headline story, and it's everywhere, Cowboys offer highest paid kicker in NFL,

agent counters $10 million a year. Right there, you're like, I don't want that greedy kicker. Right. I don't want to, let's trade them, let's get rid of them, whatever. Okay, let's just play that scenario out. All right, let's say they offered 6.5 annual value. That would be the highest paid in the NFL, with $12 million guaranteed.

So if he gets hurt, he's only going to see $12 million of that. Let's go. And the agent, this is me just pretending what might have happened. I have not talked to anybody involved here. All right, look. Stephen. This is silly. You know he makes an annual, you know, he's getting 17 guaranteed.

If that's your first offer to us, then my first offer is $10 million a year. All right, what are we going to, are we? And then Steven's like, ah, ha, yeah, all right, and then they talk later. We'll talk next year because there's no reason Stephen Jones would have signed, actually wanted him to sign a contract at the beginning of last year. right, knowing they had him on that sweet deal, knowing they have a restricted hammer. Knowing he wasn't going to blow up like a wide receiver or something that was going to.

Yeah, that's interesting. I don't know why if that were the case, why Stephen would want that to get out there. That feels like a non, the scenario you just described was a non-serious negotiation or a piece of it. They want to get out there because of what you see in headlines today. Okay. Cowboys offered record contract, agent countered with 10 million.

I guess we're talking. Well, the agent is denying that. Brandon's wife is denying it. So did Brandon. They both commented on Instagram, so I feel comfortable. They just both said false to like a Dallas, Texas TV story. But it's very interesting to know somebody who's going through this and see the way that it works. Who has control over the narrative?

What gets printed? I will say, are you, you may have been out of town when this happened. But when we were going through mediation with the lawyers and all that? Yeah. Frank is here, right? Let's bring him on. If Frank is still here, we should. Yeah, he's over there.

Well, then he probably remembers this. He was enjoying Kanye Rose. We were in mediation, which is where you're on two sides of the hall of a room, and the guy goes back and forth and tells you what each person wants and doesn't want. And we were, again, kind of the little guy. So I always felt like we need to kind of play along here a little bit. We're not going to get everything they want. Their first offer they sent over was it, it was like,

stop doing the show. It was like, you stopped doing the show for six months. It might have been a year. It was crazy, like the level of onerous stipulations

that they put on it. You can't have the name. You can't have this. You can't do the do. It was everything. And they sent that back to us. And I thought the obvious thing to do was to talk sensibly

and be like, well, here's kind of what we'd accept and move from there. And instead, Philip wrote them like a fuck you. Right. And wrote like, yeah,

how about, you pay us? for the lawyer fees that we've already accrued, you pay us for, it was insane, dude. And I remember at the time being like, we should not do this. This is nuts. And we turned it in,

and the guy, he was very stoic, the mediator, like came back and did like the push-dust-his glasses up and kind of took him off thing. It was like, they're not thrilled. They're not thrilled with your position.

They started it. So I would say if Brandon's agent replied, like, fuck you 10 million, I, from a personal standpoint, I would not approach things like that. Because then what can happen? Stephen can turn around and be like,

they're being assholes. You don't want that, so I even say it. But that's why Brandon's not actually doing it. The agent is doing it. And Brandon's just like, all right, do the best you can for it. And the agent has Ws on his side. That's true. And the agent knows how the shit works.

The other thing, which is a dork point, but the cap goes up, like what, 10 to 12% or 15% a year every year, your contract should be viewed as a, percentage of the cap. So even if he's going to make $7 million and Butker makes 6.5, if it's out of us, am I crazy here? Why don't they talk about it like that?

He wants to be paid commensurate to the cap. So he may get seven and they're like, oh, you're the highest paid, but still be underpaid relative to the cap. Anyways. Well, and then... The good news is he didn't pay $15,000 for that goddamn piece of HVAC equipment. Oh, my God. Could have sunk the whole season.

Yeah, he probably would have just signed whatever they put in front of them. I might have to go back to computer work. But I was talking to somebody here before the show, because that's what I do, friendly guy. Yeah. And they said to me, man, I'm kind of sad. I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that Brandon will be gone next year. Next year? Yeah.

Okay. And I'm like, I think there's no way, and here's why. and why the Cowboys are acting like this, they still have a tremendous amount of leverage because I want you to name for me the NFL restricted free agents who have signed an offer sheet and then left their teams. Yeah, I was going to tell you guys this the other day.

What was last year? There might have been one who signed and then they matched. Right, it was like a linebacker with the Raiders. That's the point. point. You don't remember. This doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. If you had one a year, it would be incredible. If you remember, one of the handful of the top, one of the top five quarterbacks in the NFL was a restricted free agent.

Any team could have said, my guy, he's a two-time MVP already. Remember Lamar Jackson went to, became a restricted free agent? Yeah, there's collusion. And there was no other, really? There's no other team? You're going to sign a 38-year-old Kirk Cousins. You're going to go into another year. You're going to trade for Derek Carr and pay him 40.

You're going to, like, think of all the names that have been bandied about, but you're not going to sign and try to take Lamar Jackson. You absolutely would have. Yes. If restricted free agency is just kind of a fake bit. It's not a real marketplace. another way, but it does ensure Brandon will be making over $5 million this year. So that's great.

Yes. And it is a huge pay increase. I just wonder. He got a metal roof. Certainly, fucking dude, his roof is going to be. They'll drone shots of his roof. Exquisite. But I wonder, you know, you're certainly not a quarterback.

Like in a perfect world, you could play, you would pay every player by the year. You would never pay them ahead of time. right like so if you move the slider all the way over to the team side you would never pay anybody ahead some positions you do because that's the market you have what do you mean ahead like having a guaranteed four years just paying for that year oh sure yeah but in this case like a quarterback you think there's always the that guy needs security he has to have some confidence that this is actually working i don't know if kicker falls into that more than another position like guard kicker seems like it's already pretty much every kick you're like fuck i could get fired so i don't know

that it matters as much but you know the downside to him getting five million dollars is that's another year of not knowing what the rest of your life is going to be like right and it's another year where you could randomly miss a few kicks and now things go sideways and you still are the same kicker but they're going to look at it in a reactionary way and say, well, we're not really interested in another year of a highly paid kicker, and that's what sucks. How does the second round tender thing work? Is that synonymous with a restricted free agent?

Yes. Okay. Because I was listening to KRLD FM, and they were even suggesting, what if they put a first round tender on him? Some other team would have to want to pay it like. Right. And then they said, I bet the Rams would do it,

who are giving up, what, the 28th pick. They have a lot of don't give an out. They don't respect draft picks as much of their teams, and they're right on the edge. Well, you touch on an interesting idea there. You give them this weapon of score any time from the 50, whatever. And I'm like, wolf? My, I don't know, sober-faced, like, centrist analysis here. I love the dude.

I like watching him kick. It's great. He's an awesome dude. He's from here. But it really, how much you need, they told us this when they signed Brian Enger. How much you need a punter or a kicker, it's a proportionate. to how good you are, right? So as you just said, the Rams are close,

so that matters a lot to them. The Cowboys, when they paid Brian Anger, definitely thought they were good. So I think they're good. So I would like to have them have a kicker that's going to win close games. But last year, he was not,

we're not saying worthless, but they were not in games that he could affect that much. The ones he did were awesome, like forcing overtime against the Giants, the Packers game. But the better your team is, the more you need a good kicker. Yeah, but they do always believe.

No, they're going to do it. Yeah. But to his point is, is there a market of a team that would pay him even more, like $8, $9 million? Right. And if you're a really good team that plays a lot of close games, you might. And to think a first round pick sounds scary for a kicker and kind of stupid, but if it's a 28th pick, then you're like, how many teams sitting at 28? if Brandon Aubrey was available, would be like, yeah, I'll take a kicker

that essentially never misses unless it's over 60 yards. And we haven't really talked about it, but I would go, I would just move the show out there. There's cheaper parts. You could drive like an hour to L.A. or something. Just tag along. Yeah, that really hot area, right? Like they always say past the mountain or whatever.

Like it's shitty? Yeah, shitty, but that's where I think. Palmdale. Palmdale. I'm in. I think that's where Lex Luther bought all that property, though. Yeah. Just so when the San Andreas.

Did you grow up with this, Jake? You say you grew up with Quicksand being a concern. Can I guess what you're about to say? Yeah. California, about to fall into the ocean. The San Andreas Fault in particular. Right on the east side of San Andreas Fault. We made a movie about it.

They did. With the rock. A few movies. Did they? Yeah, yeah. He had to hold California. That's literally what Superman did. he went down under there and fixed the San and like because yeah I think that's in real

life what God did but all my all my youth I grew up thinking if the the right earthquake dude the first this triggers the faults yeah there's a three year period of it's just banter that's just talking about this is the other day my daughter said something to me I can't remember I think it was pandas but it was either pandas or whales and she's like you know they're going extinct. I was like, are we still fucking doing this bit? Like she had guilt over it, you know? She's like, do you know the pandas are going extinct?

The whales. I'm like, dude, update your material elementary. Tell her she's dumb. Dude. When you're like 9 or 10. We're over that. Nothing matters, like fault lines exploding. Very worried.

Very worried. You're not to nothing matters yet. You'll get there. Just wait. Whales. So I have a bunch more. Well, at least a little more on Brandon Aubrey, but first, Ownwell. We should talk about Ownwell a little bit.

Got a message. You should get on Ownwell, dude. I know you're scraping by over there. Yeah. High on the hog. Yeah. Property taxes, man. Yeah, I recently got an email from them, which says the 2026 property tax season is right

around the corner, and we're here to help. Last year, we successfully saved you $335, which they did. and they've got us they got me covered already this year so uh they're they're there for you when you take five minutes to you know say yeah go ahead and fight my property taxes if you can you're kind of taking five minutes and it's for this year next year like you know how uh you and i are both guys who love lists chris i had written down figure out what's going on with property taxes after my wife said something about it over the holidays. Then I logged into the Onwell website, and it's like, we got it.

We filed the paperwork. We'll let you know when we need something. So if nothing else, you're crossing it off your list. Ownwell.com slash the dumb zone. You only pay them if they save you money. You don't have to go down. What are you going to go, protest? Get a sign.

I would know what to do. I wrote a letter once. Oh, I bet you did. Get a stamp. Didn't work. Cool stamp. Save your time. Ownwell.

com slash the dumb zone. Let them do it. All right. Keep simping for your boy. I've heard somebody, I don't know, you just see a lot of crap online. Honestly, this morning, I will tell you, um, budsman of myself, I kept first take on in the background hoping they would have a Brandon Aubrey take. Because I wanted to play for you guys, Stephen A. Like, absolutely not.

I could kick. What was the headline going to be? Yeah. On the lower third, you got to know. Yeah. kicked out of town? Yeah. Some sort of soccer fun.

Some have pointed out, hey, Brandon Aubrey, he's not really even top ten in field goal percentage made that last year. Which is true, but you have to understand that Brandon Aubrey is being asked to kick field goals that they're not going to ask Nick Folk to try. Right. You know? I don't think, yeah. I think most people know. Well, I think most people know for sure. for those that don't, he missed one, two, three, four, five, six field goals this year.

51, 51 yards, two 51 yarders. He missed a 57-yarder, a 58-yarder, a 59-yarder, and a 68-yarder. Those were his missed fuel goals all season long. I weren't four of them in Washington, I believe? If you're talking outdoors One was actually in Washington One was in New York Last couple of the games of the season

The point is that yeah They ask him to kick from very, very far away And Were he stit Did he ever play for the UFL? Yeah 60 plus Do you see the new bit?

Did I see a new bid About a sport instituting Something called the four-pointer? Yes Someone said it Yeah, I did. Yeah, they got a bunch of new... It's super cool.

A bunch of new rules for this year. Any 60-plus-yard field goal is four points. I love it. I love it, too, because what a conundrum... It's always a conundrum. Do you kick this and give the other team the ball right there? Midfield. But...

So you only do it at the end of halves, generally. But, yeah, what if the four-pointers involved? Well, risk reward. it okay. You got to get a new chart. I love it. Yeah. They've eliminated the tush push.

I don't know. I guess that's easy to eliminate. That's, right? That's... I hate that. What? The thought of eliminating it? Yeah.

What does the president think? Is he weighed in? I know he thinks the kickoff is lame. Yeah. I think we haven't really ever spent any time on it because it does feel like a first take topic. But being against the push push is WHA. How is that not like the most basic?

Manly football play. That's what it is. I thought there is a rule, though. You can't, like, carry players into the end zone or there's... Okay, I don't know. I mean, you can run up and run into a pile, can't you? You see offensive linemen do that all the time. Your quarterback's from Josh Allen, and then the whole...

Here comes the running back from behind, running into the pile. How's that any different? I think they used to would have stopped it for Ford Progress a little earlier. I don't know. It's gotten weird. Well, it's gotten weird because they found a loophole. Right. They were far less successful last year than they were in the previous couple seasons,

and I feel like they're just making, they're calling penalties that sort of discourage it and hope it works itself out. You're probably right. There's still some egregious ones they got away with, though. Yeah. What do you think of no punting inside the opponent's 50-yard line? Really? You're not allowed to punt.

So that would bother Jason Garrett if he ever got back in the game and shoddy at times. That feels like electroshock gay therapy for, like. I don't care if you like this. Shock you. And then point after, same as usual. You kick from the 33-yard line for a point for the P-A-T. Two points. You can get a ball on the two-yard line,

but you can put the ball on the eight-yard line for a three-point attempt. Okay. I don't know if I like that. I love it. You do? Yeah. You like a three-point point after? It does the chart.

We'd have to work a... I'll rip it up. We'd have to put someone on that. It's like the automatic... Put that old couple that used to do the schedule together on that. It's a balls and strikes thing in baseball. It's just an extra thing that... I don't know if I'd want it in the NFL,

but if I'm a third-tier league, maybe some one of these ideas pops, the NFL is into it. Who knows? The kickoff rule came from there. Well, anyway, the main deal is that Brandon Aubrey... Have you come around on the kickoff? The current kickoff, just from the standpoint that there's a little more action,

but it still doesn't look cool. The whole point is for there to be more action. Everyone's staying here, kickers back there, kick it, and then on your market. Get set. Go. Wait, wait, now. I think a guy just running, running down the field to do nothing

and then running through the end zone because his coach told him finished the play. Just back the kickoff up or something. I don't know. All right. Well, let's move on. Yeah. I'm going to have TC on a mic here at some point.

Well, yeah, let's do story time. We'll make it brought to us real quick by Game Day Men's Health, gameday.dumzone.com. It's where you can get that TRT therapy, 10% off for life, if you mention the dumb zone. And they will test your testosterone, patagrates, it's for free, right there for you. Just give you that test to let you know if you need it.

Maybe you don't. But there's also other things they can help you with. Our buddy Matt Grimm, Travis, from community, big peptides guys for recovery, for muscle growth and recovery. You can do it for energy. There's all sorts of different peptide blends that can help you with. Weight loss. These are things they can all figure out at Game Day Men's Health in one of their 12 DFW locations.

Gameday.day.dumzone.com. Gameday.com. 12 area locations. Okay, so when we were in Arizona last week, we went to a comedy club called Stand Up Live the first night we were there and went to go see Dave Attell. Oh yeah.

Used to host the insomniaque. Is that what it was? He was a staple of Comedy Central. Build the whole boat out of Dave Attell in the late 90s on Comedy Central. You got a lot of him and I loved it. And he's still doing his thing. And it's a bit weird to watch him

because when he walks out, he kind of has, like, Larry King float shoulder. And he has a j. He doesn't look like a functioning human. But then when he grabs the mic, he can do 45 an hour just crushing. This is great. Five-five-ish? Yeah. He seems incredibly diminished it.

Quick pause. Can someone order a water for me? Anyway, just take a water. I was just going to say. Kanye Rose is amazing. The water is delicious here. Well, I thought T.C. was ordering for everyone, and then they brought to you. What did you do, T.C.?

I said a round of waters. Okay. I heard him put the order, and he did say that. Around, did they say exactly around or is it approximately around? The guys would love some waters. Okay. So that would think that would mean all the guys. Sorry.

No, I know. I wasn't wanting your water attention for 40 minutes. That's why I offered you the water thing. If you had been checked out. Because he wouldn't be a baby about it. Thank you. This is a baby? I asked you 20 minutes ago for water and then I don't have any.

So I'm the asshole. Okay. Go ahead. So, we went to that show. Then Thursday night, it was time for everyone to leave late at night in the RV crew. But before we went, we were going to go see Nick Offerman from, what, community, or Parks and Rec? I wasn't a... I didn't watch that show.

But I know him as part of just the comedy zeitgeist, I guess. And the clips from that show, that character, Ron. Once once that he played on that show, I found funny. Wasn't he in some serious stuff, too? A bunch of us. He was recently in the presidential lightning show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's not a bunch of serious stuff.

Okay. But a bunch of funny stuff, too, in my head. This all happened, but I thought we had firmly agreed to just pretend like it didn't. Yeah, no, this definitely did happen. We don't want to discuss this. This was. Thank you so much. Top that off.

Thank you. So as it was approaching, I saw on the website, can I just tell a story? Why are you looking? I'm telling her yes. Not while he's thirsty. I'm listening. Jesus Christ, there's not a dog eating a napkin here. She asked me, do I want to say yes. Why don't you yell at him?

I'm trying to give you the water. I tried to give you the water when we set down. And he's like, well, I asked him again. We'll wait until they get here with the water. I'm not a baby, he says, crying. What else do you have? We'll do that until the water gets here. I'm listening about Nick Alpherman.

So it's important to note how this show is framed. And a, no. It was at a place called the Celebrity Theater, which a lot of stand up. Which is the headline for me. A lot of specials have been filmed there. It's in Phoenix. It's a circular stage.

I'd seen it on film before. But also... The Louis C.K. special from the Open Bag of Leaves tour. You remember our great time that we enjoyed it? Majestic. The Majestic with the Open Bag of Leaves. Whenever he made that into a special, it was at that place. It was very 70s feeling.

I feel certain that's around one who was built. It felt like you were inside of a game show. It was really cool building. So we find out it's there. And then the flyer, which we can put up on the screen, said, an evening with Nick Offerman, comedy with woodworking and bookish mirth. Because I knew he was into woodworking.

You saw this a week prior when... And I sent it to T.C. and I said, I don't know. And he said, I'd love to see the venue. And I said, I'll go, but we need to be aware. I don't think this is just stand-up. I did say that. And I didn't know... I was very dismissive.

I was, how bad could it be? So we kind of held up the departure. of Clayton, Matt Grimm, and T.C. So that we could go to this thing. And I knew he was into woodworking. I think NBC gave him a TV show where he was doing some woodworking and handiwork type shit,

HDTV, whatever. But we get in there, and within two minutes, we won out. At least T.C. and I won out. The opening was before he comes out, it's a music video that he made. where he's singing and like the

style of music is like this is jokes but there are no jokes there's nothing funny in it it's just him being like you're stupid for looking at your phone you should be doing woodworking instead so that's where we really went here is the whole point of the woodworking thing

is that you do stuff with your hands you have agency it's good for your spirit get out there and I get that right like being outside is good for you building stuff, I'm sure is good for you. It's all correct, but it's not funny. In like fifth grade, whenever I was having to take the test that said, what do you think you'll be good at in life?

They handed me one back that was like, don't ever touch a hammer. You'll never be able to build or fixed shit. So I figure out other ways to feel. And he's just up there, as you're going to hear the whole time, he's like, put down your phone, put down your phone. I started recording when I realized there were Ghost Tour laughs. at a comedy show.

The Ghost Tour Laugh is supposed to be for the tour of Fenway Park. But certainly the week prior, you guys are talking about this. If you had said this is what it's going to be, you wouldn't have gone at all. No, and I had an idea of what it was going to be.

If it said seminar on why you shouldn't use your technology so much. I had a thought it was going to be kind of NPR-ish. Right? Like I've been to this shit before. I told you, I went to go see Henry Rollins.

And it was comedy, but it was also like, yeah. I've seen KERA put on stuff before where it's like kind of comedy, kind of not. But when he said bookish mirth and woodworking, we should have listened. And about two minutes in, I looked over at TC, and he was like melting.

He's like, I'm getting tortured. Listen to the start. Okay. Something that we always like to point out of what's really thought about woodworking is that they say that mastery in woodworking just means that you can hide your mistakes better. And it's really true.

I mean, you always fuck something. up and we're very good at it and you still are just going to make mistakes. All right, so we started out with a little ghost or laugh, right? Like, there's nothing funny there. There's nothing preachy. It's just like he said the F word. And for, I don't know, Melissa, who listens to 91.7, that's enough for a laugh. Whoa.

And I'm fan of the station. I'm just saying, like. Glad we left the kids at home. Yeah, exactly. Now we're going to get to the message here because he's woodworking. You think of. of it's, I guess, manly. Manly, but he wants to make sure that you know he's not some pig.

He did a little bit of political, very little, but it was like the baseline, hey, I should run for president, but I haven't raped anybody. And they would laugh. Here's the message. When we were picking our projects, I said, listen, there's one thing I've got to do as like a big, dumb kid. If you say to me, Nick, go on the woods and give me a good stick. We're going to do some woodworking. I'm going to do my best to bring you back a two-handed broadsword.

Oh, I'll bring a sword if I go over a... Or a katana, or a quarterstaff, or Rambo's AK-47. Weapons. We're going to fucking do battle. That's what you do with a stick. That's one of the things kids naturally want to do with a stick. And I said, it'd be wrong of us to deny that, even though we're both a couple of California citizens

who believe that empathy is strength and we prefer kindness to violence. We're smart enough. Thank you. You know, duh. At this point, I'm having the worst time of my life. Yeah. I'm incredulous that there's a group of people, yeah, laughing.

Sold out. That was really the thing that was most messing with me. It started to feel like we were at church. The guys in front of us specifically, like the two dudes in front of me, every time he would say something, it was not true. It wasn't a joke. And they were only able to be there because they got DVR to record Rachel Maddow. Like they were, you didn't want to hang out with these guys.

What did these tickets cost per ticket? You don't want to know. Almost 100 bucks. Oh, my. Yeah. And, uh, the name Nick Offerman is enough to. Yeah, I mean, people were... Get a sold out.

Most of people were into it, but that's, see, for me, that's how I, that's a good description. Like, when I still went to church with my family, but I wasn't really into it anymore, I felt bad for being there. And so at some point, every time he would say, like, isn't it better to not hate black people? And everybody's like, yeah, I'm not a racist. I'm fucking whatever. I started to feel I should not be here. This is... When were you ever putting dollar per man?

minutes on it? No, no, no. If we left now, it would be 20 a minute. No, we were... But I would pay a further hundred to get out. To just leave without anyone seeing you? The second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

No, the real issue... It felt like we were ruining their good time. Like, I was worried that people were around me, like, I was taking them out of the moment. Like, why don't we get this? Yeah. The weakest thing you can do is stand on the playground and announce that you're changing your title to Secretary of War. Oh, yes. Excess.

Boom. This is the joke. The joke is he just gets up there and makes fun. Like, this is worse than Fallon. Well, let me tell you something about community. Not community. Parks and Rec. It's why Hillary lost.

Oh, I figured. If you watch Parks and Rec and you're like, that's a quality show. In fact, you probably... That's better than 30 Rock. Then absolutely. That's the whole point. watch Tina Faye and Amy Poehler together and think that Amy Poehler is the one carrying the duo. That's why we're in this situation.

Yeah, you can hear there's a, I don't know, sorry to the folks here, although you're getting 50% off. I think you'll be able to hear it in the audio at home. He's doing like a, he does like pre-recorded bits, he does songs, but I think in this one at the end of it, you can hear TC and myself starting to plot. Yeah, this is an ad he made for a toy called a slapstick. It's to get your kids to stop. Looking at their phone. Parents of America have you just about

their children staring slack jar on screens, obsessed with the ever-churning gadgets market on the hunt for violent digital megalasters? What if I told you the dramatic project? So now we're plotting. We're getting out of here. This can be a lot of fun. So wait, he's doing a fake commercial, like he has a guitar in his hand?

This one was pre-recorded. He had a song. He just dimmed the lights and set there with... Just sitting there basking in the hilarity that is... He brought... He also brought a sprightly lesbian on stage who works with him at his woodworking shop. So as he's up there being like, Donald Trump... is a racist.

She's over there just cutting shit. Yeah. For real, you're watching. And they have a camera on her and she's just cutting wood. So that's on one of this? Yeah.

It's on a big screen. Uh-huh. See her a little closer? Yeah. Yeah. Did she reveal something amazing at the end of the show? Let's see here.

I'd love to know. We wouldn't know. Yeah, I'm trying to see if I can, if I can tell you where, because he's got a song here that he started. He made a ukulele. So he's going to tell you about that. Oh, my God.

Whatever, it doesn't matter. He made a ukulele. He's got an opportunity to say anything about it that he wants, you know? Like, really go off here. The song is just called ukulele, and he just says the word ukulele over and over and over. It's the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.

His wife's famous, I guess. Oh, I like his wife, yeah. Yeah, okay, so. We all do. She's funny. Of course. Do you know her? Of course.

Yeah. I don't know who she is, but he then went on a rant about, okay, I get it now. He then went on a rant about how he doesn't understand eating ass. Whoa. Okay, that seems. What the hell? And he had like a pretty generic. Seems off the path from where he has been.

Yeah. He started there because he's like, I'm a pretty. hip guy. But also maybe just as bad of a position as he has on all these other things. But the whole punchline was just like I've never thought about the butt as erotic. You're like, okay, well, fantastic. So after that sidebar, now we're back to... Lee and I love to make things with our hands and we love to be with people who make things with their hands.

It's a great way to be a citizen of the planet to have some control over how you begin to think about the resources coming into your house. Who made this? Do you understand? This is going to go on for another 50 minutes if we don't leave. So that's where you're at right now. You're at the... 10 to 15 minutes. I can't believe now he's starting into this.

He's just preaching about like, you know, you should really be thinking about where everything and you think about where your food comes from. And I'm like, fucking whatever, dude. Right. I'm trying to relax. This is not the time. When he came out playing that music video. And then she's like, look, I made a wallet. And I'm like, what are you doing here?

What is this? Do you have jokes? Why are you here? very weird. After the music video he comes out and like, yeah, because I was like, okay, maybe the music video is bad, but like once he's on stage, it's going to be great. After about two minutes of that, when it was very apparent, it was going to be the quality of the music video throughout. I looked at Jake. It was said, it's just going to be a matter of when.

Like, we, there's no way that we're going to just take an hour and a half of this. So we just need to be thinking about what's the point at which this is too much and we just need to eject. And we didn't want him to see us get up and walk out. I was going to say, what's the scene like if you got up, would he know and now start doing crowdwork with you? It depends a little bit on which way he was facing, but we were absolutely close enough that he could easily see us. Yes. And the thing that really killed me is most of the time he was facing away from us. But whenever he turned and like he could see that I wasn't laughing if he had looked, he was terrifying.

And I said, because TC was freaking out. And I said to TC, I was like, I don't think he can see you. Because you know, like, when you're on stage, in the crowd, you can't really see people's faces and stuff when they have those type of lights up there. Because I looked over at TC. I mean, dude, he's from me to this guy right here. Nick Offerman is, and we're both like,

I can't fake it hard enough for him to not know that among this group of NPR moms, like, I want to kill myself. And he is like almost crying. And I was like, I don't think he can see you. I don't think he can see you. And then the second he turned around and faced the other side of the crowd, like, Clay, let's get out of here. Well, the...

And we did. The real saving grace was, I don't, I would assume that someone spilled a beer, but there was a ruckus near us where several other people stood up. Oh, that's right. There was a flashbang. That's right. Hit the flashbang and go. We all knew right then.

This is the chance. And there was even a, there was a lady in front of us that I was, presume was going to get cleaned up from the beer on her dress or whatever. So I was like, yeah, we're just doing that too. I know it was weird because, so this was the last night in Arizona, like you said. Put your phone down. This was going to delay Matt Grimm's quest to get back to Dallas as fast as possible because he's a psycho. But he's like, okay, it'll give me a chance to sleep a little before we leave.

I'll sleep until about 10.30 and then we'll leave. And it'll be great. And this is like at 8.30? And so he goes to bed. And 15 minutes later, you guys walk through the door. And I'm like, whoa, what happened? Because he expected you back at 10.15. That's why he planned to leave.

Yeah, I haven't walked out of too much stuff in my life. And I think it is usually because I mostly am just like, I paid for it. I have to make this seem good. But it was honestly. The worst thing you've ever... You just look at the next hour of your life and think, well, I...

Am I going to be happy if I stay here? It's not even happy. It's torture. It was torture. It was... You're getting preached at... It's like a bad payoff type thing? It sucked, dude.

It was like the Hey Man-What's Up rodeo. We find out where Nick Offerman is appearing next... And let me tell you why. Let me tell you why. It's because it sucked, but it's because you're with there with a bunch of people who think it's good. Yes.

And you're sitting in the room. I'm like, I don't want to. That payoff, you have to go, and then you have to interview people after the show about their experience. And that sounds awful, but I knew that Matt Grimm had gone to bed, and there was an expectation of our ETD on the other side, but I couldn't talk to Clayton because he was down a seat. So as we're leaving, I realized we've got at least 90 minutes in the bank, maybe 100, earlier than expected.

I were leaving, I was like, hey, donut ice cream? That cheesecake place we've been looking at all week. We could easily do. And then he ended up passing on a place that has a... I was treats maxing. Ice cream sandwich, you know? You ever have one of those?

I have. Indeed. Each cookie instead of a cookie, it's a donut. Glazed? Or pick a winner? It's glazed. And it's kind of thin and crispy. With a firm ice cream in the middle?

Very firm. Amazing. It was delicious. Yeah? He drove like a half hour away from the house to get it. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah.

That was great. Nick Offerman, less so. It was a bad time. So were you? I'm glad we found out. Was there any concern that maybe Clayton's loving this? We shouldn't just leave without asking him. We kind of.

He didn't seem like he was loving. Yeah, when we kind of floated it, it felt like he, uh, it was one of those situations where he hadn't considered you could do that. Like he felt kind of like locked in to like, I guess I got a, put up with this, right? He's newish. He's not going to be the guy. Yeah.

So I wanted to open his world to the possibility that you don't have to hear another PG joke at all. We can get out of here. Did you just ride home in silence? No, we rode home talking about how much it sucked. We rode home like, I can't believe he was able to sell that theater out with that. It's just being famous. Because it's not like Clayton was laughing either. I was sitting next to it.

I was in the middle. I was not getting any sense that this was an evening that he was enjoying. I have a new respect for the head. Do you accept for that? Jeremy Pivot, at least did jokes. All right. If I offered you Nick Offerman for Kevin Farley, tonight, one hour show. Or Steve Berline.

Steve Burline, without a doubt. Steve Burline, Kevin Farley. Steve Berline and a 12-pack alone star. But you can tell him. Now, tell him he won the... He'll be thrilled. The Nick Offerman challenge. It makes you realize how good of an actor he is.

Because you can't tell that he's a little... I feel like theater kid. The odd thing is, I feel like Berline would love the Nick Offerman show. No. Everything you guys are describing. No, no, no, no. Burlington doesn't like looking at phones, right? You're missing the mark.

All he does is look at his phone. All he does is look at his phone in Blake's card. FaceTime his girlfriend. He's checking his fantasy football. team. He might like a little Nick Offerman. He should play celebrities. This is a special type of liberal. He would get in the car

and tell me, hey, saw this thing. It's called the slapstick. He might need it for your boys. You know what I'm saying? Kids are always looking at the phone. Kids are entitled, for sure. That's a Berline play. And Berline's comedy feeds off the silence. Hook Steve Berlin. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. Uncle Hotmail.

You want to do for your mail? Or did I just hit this erroneously? Oh, we're good. You can hang out, TC, unless you got stuff to do. I'll make sure we get pictures of the crowd. Yeah, go stand way back there, take a few pictures. Look how happy they are. Eating good.

Eating good, eating ain't cheating. Let's pull up here. Headwit from the mom. Speaking of staring at your phone, though, there is a good reason to stare at your phone. If you want to go shopping for that new car at fairlease.org. Fairlease.org. They have a couple guys over there

that can hook you up right now. I think we have a new phone number we're going to give to people. So you can talk to Connor or Nick. They're your dumb zone concierge hookup at Fairlease. 972. 705. 4815.

Like it's their red phone. It's the hotline. It goes right to that. There's no other. That's, if they get a call to that number. Yeah, but it's a... They're going to be like, hey, dummy. But it's a late.

model F-150 on an affordable pricing plan phone. You can't get up, but this is the truck. Now, these guys, they'll hook you up. They're back by the credit union of Texas. Went to set down with them a couple weeks ago. Learned about their whole operation. Great for business owners. If you want to get in the lease game for a business truck, they can get whatever you need, get it rigged up how you want, get a box truck. Whatever your game is, fairly can help you. Personal side as well. So the phone number 972-705-48-15. It is incumbent on us to find some.

something dirty. Like, that might spell V-ass, and we not even know it, you know? Let's look into it. Fair lease, when you don't know what to do about a car, because car stuff is hard. But not with Fair lease. You don't need a dealership, baby. You right, Tyler?

I know. Pretty good. They are good for business. Business Wednesday was yesterday. Mike, we were trying to decide whether or not to take a safe harbor election. What's your thoughts on that? What is that exactly? Oh, I was hoping you would know because that was something our guy was thrown out at us.

That is not something. I was like, oh. That is something you can only do when you have money. Oh, so we're not doing it? No, we are. Oh, we are? Yeah. Like if your business is...

I thought you spent all of Nick Offerman. I did. I paid for that. I took that hit on the personal side, brother. You're still writing it off, right? Dude, I'm writing off. Yeah, that's not a question. No, anyways, what are we talking about?

Beer or Mail? I got one. It's kind of long, but I'm going to try to give you the gist of it here. It's from a listener named Gretchen. She emailed because earlier this week we were talking Tourette's. Oh, yeah. It was big news. Big week for Tourette's.

Big, big week. We all found out there's a movie about it. I didn't know that. I didn't let either. It is funny when you think about that whole situation. Yes, I agree. In general, it's funny all the way around. But the movie is about a guy with Tourette's and just the difficulty you have having Tourette's.

Right. Because of these awkward situations it puts you in and people don't understand that you can't control it at all. So then they bring the, the movie wins all these awards. because it's so important. So they bring the guy with the guy it was made about. They bring him to the award show. He then does Tourette's stuff. Right.

And then they're all, the people that voted for the, or are cheering for this movie that won all the awards because it's so important, this is brought to light. They all kind of condemn this guy for being Tourette's guy in public, and he has to leave so that he won't disrupt the scene anymore. and then they're all kind of ripping him for,

I thought we're sympathetic to you so, so much so that we're going to give an award to this person because he's so heroic for even daring to play someone that is you. Yet, we'd rather you leave if you're here. It's incredible. Don't you find this? The layers of insanity. Great irony to all of this?

The air of inclusivity. All right. No, no. I think you're on to some. That's why I wanted to bring this up. Did you play the audio? earlier in the week? Yeah, and I think that one's probably enough.

Because I actually still have a... Yeah, they're right after. And he doesn't have Tourette's. He does not have Tourette's. I haven't even listened to it. I've just read the headline, and it sounds like the very funny and very... But I can't bring myself...

Funnier than Nick Offerman. Yeah, no doubt. But there's a couple of other times in there where he just yelled like, shut up, bitch. Yeah. Somehow on my Instagram algorithm, there's this really hot girl with Tourette's.

And it's very... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Somehow. And then when you watch the whole video, then there's another one pops up somehow. And for some reason, it's the hottest thing.

Good God. Well, she's beautiful, just ticking away and yelling stuff. Being hot can just smooth off a lot of the rough edges, you know? He's not saying just that she's hot. He's saying she's hotter because she has threats. And I think we need to investigate that. A box that remains unchecked for me. I'm looking.

Like, don't you? I mean, there's got to be a Wi-Fi. hypothetical there that's anyways uh gretchen whose son had Tourette's yeah I know that's why I wanted to hear the whole email he's grown now because he's I asked like can you live on your own like what is what is your life like should it changes over time he had like large total body ticks from birth so that's a problem obviously when you're a baby because you can't sleep oh so as a baby you have Tourette's you're tossing around she said she tried to get him into a daycare and he kept screaming slurs there No, I made that part up.

But it was a problem. It sounds like a horrible disease. It's incredibly rare, and even more rare is the subset that have the thing that the guy has. The audible. The audible profanity. The audio book with... Yeah, like she said that sometimes her son would go through snorting phases. Like for a year, he would snort.

That would be his tick. And people would make fun of him, and that sucks. but it wasn't to the point. But she also said the guy should have known better. But what does that mean? The Tourette's guy? Yeah, she said the guy in this case. The guy who went to the show and started yelling the onward?

His monologue is different than my sons, so she thinks. As an adult with Tourette, he should have known better. Maybe he was overstimulated by the situation. They probably invited him. When's he ever going to be invited to an award show for a movie that was made about him? That's a recipe for over-stimulation, I would think. She can say it from the she-can-say-it file. Because this is what I was wondering.

She said, I always wondered if kids with Tourette's adopt the profanity tick once they learn about it. Like, is this finding out you have an Asian family member, and now you can all of a sudden do an accent or something? Yeah, yeah. Like, you've got Tourette. If Jake got Tourette's in high school. As a 10, 15-year-old, you find out you have Tourette's. You think little Jake taking advantage of that loophole?

Yeah, and then shrugging. I guess, I guess so happened to you walked in the room then. Shout out Tourette's. I got one from Will who said growing up, there was a kid in my town with Tourette's. In my town. We had one. You can only imagine the pure joy on our little faces anytime we had a substitute teacher. who is unprepared for the random F-this and N-word that shout.

It was great. The poor substitute. Whoa. In fifth grade, they threw the rest of us a pizza party on the day he was absent. I guess to compensate us for all the bad words we heard that year, but we loved it. That's from Will. That seems messed up. Is that kid supposed to find out about that?

Hey, we waited to the day you were gone and had a class party. pizza boxes everywhere the next day. Like, why? Then he starts yelling swear words. You're like, oh, I guess he's fine. He's hungry. Olympic thing. We're talking.

This is Dawson says most of the original or classic Olympic events really come from the military. Biathlon was showing the ability to travel on skis and then shoot at an enemy accurately. Polvalt was getting over a wall. Equestrian was cavalry horse drills. The Winter Olympics is a newer construct, so many of those are less connected to military, but there is some of them. Yeah, that makes sense, right? It's like everything else.

It starts in military, like drones, fireworks. And then let's do it for entertainment. I did my share of biathlon when I was in the Air Force, so I can confirm this. How many times have you fired a gun? Like in the military? Yeah. Only one day we went to the range in Air Force, basic train. Yeah.

That's more than you. One day. That's more than you. How many days you have on range? No one's more disappointed with my service than T.C. He just never lets it go. I did more than one day in the Boy Scouts. I enjoy T.C.

Not with a real going you did. It was more serious. I enjoy parachuting in T.C. Yeah. Because this, Jake is talking about how he ran a marathon and T. T.C. Parachutes in the shit all over the line. Yeah. All of a sudden, he's flying overhead.

but he sees you start talking about the airfo. Oh, I got a. Fake veteran, fake veteran. High pitch one day. There's also only one day for the confidence course, not the obstacle course. And I was expecting every day to wake up and run an obstacle course.

It was one day only. So what do you do the rest of the time? You run a lot and you do march and classes. Past flirting notes, apparently. Pass flirting notes, yes. And you know he got held back? Why are you the only one that remembers that? What is that?

I'm glad he does. I was, what's the word? Not relegated, but something. He had to do more boot camp. I did an extra week of boot camp. You got a repeat? Yeah, a repeat kid. Restricted.

Remedial? Remedial. Because I got busted. You did remedial troop. I did do an extra week. I did, because I was passing a note to a girl in our sister flight. An extra week, too horny. To try.

Too horny for the Air Force. That's all I said on the stamp was too horny. One more week. Yeah, with some guy saw me pass. on her a note and I got I can't think of the word, restricted or whatever it is, move back a week which really sucked because

I went to the air, you know, part of the reason you go to the Air Force is because your parents are just like, what the F are you doing? Yeah, you're kind of a F up. Boy, I bet the military nicked Dan. Huh? I bet there's a chance. Wayward, your mom. Somebody just like just get rid of the shit. Just go.

On me? Oh, no. I'm not saying you would have done it, but. No, no, no. That was a I don't know if you called a threat for my brother. Yeah. It's to straighten yourself up. And that's why, I mean, I used to think this and then get criticized if I would ever say it in any public forum

where I had a job where there's people listening and stuff. But it's the... Waited until we were out in public? No, it's the... Remember, like I used to say growing up, we would hear that, oh, firemen, they just couldn't become cops. Or at least that's the cop.

And the same thing with military As you get into this You got to have military pride And we have a military night It's probably before 9-11 more It was more of the military As I remember All of the people that went into the military

Were the kids in high school that sucked Yeah You know That they weren't Yeah They didn't have their Acted together And they went there too straight enough

Certainly the enlisted military Yeah Yeah And I didn't know People like Jake's brother that, you know, are just exemplars. I said before 9-11, it was more of a thing of, I mean, all throughout my growing up, there were no people like Jake's brother that got so fired up because... Well, the thing you're missing out on, like he said, the enlisted thing.

I don't think I really knew this until I put it together in my head, but you're missing out on just like the elites. Like, dude who goes to Dartmouth and becomes like a, you know, a recon. The guy's in charge. Sure, yeah, no. Like, yeah, officers. I'm telling you stuff I used to believe as a little kid. No, I'm kind of true.

That did explode. The Dartmouth guys probably went way up after 9-11, as he's saying. Yeah, in the pool of people I was thrown in a base train with, I was upper echelon of intelligence even and just having my S together. At your most point. Yes, one of my lowest points. But I did have to call my parents who had just gotten me to go to the military and tell them, I left up.

I got suspended for. He's in the upper echelon of intelligence, of background, and everything. And he's still so horny that they couldn't advance it. So horny. He needs another week here. Speaking of that, why were we talking about penile implants recently? What do you have, Blake? That was off the air.

Because of game day men's health. Oh, because somebody had a penis pump or something. We mentioned penis pump, and then a doctor actually, who installed them or something. Yeah, I know. It's a very long email, but we have a guy who's like a very accomplished penile implant surgeon. And you don't really think about it from the human element of it,

but he's like, this is like the best type of surgery you can work. Like the level of joy people get, when one, I can make it work again for them, but also it can work for three to four hours at a time. It's like it's a real thing. Like you're a real,

Nobody wants that much time. She doesn't want that much time, believe me. Or at least anyone I've ever been with this. Yeah, because he did say that they've got like one that, and he says the three-piece inflatable penis penile prosthesis. Dude. It's a balloon of various length in the shaft, a reservoir next to the bladder,

and a pump between the testicles. Does it have a... How? How bad or small do you have to be? They would ask if their partner could tell, if they have one, they would say after the third hour they start to get the idea that something is... Something's

a foot here. Is there like a PSI thing? Like a little exclamation point? Yeah, like... Probably an app. Like, it comes on is too low and... Yeah, you can just top the app. Now, this guy did give me a helpful... Nowadays, there's info. That I did

not think about the other day when they asked me when I got this surgery done. But now that he says something, it does out to me. He said, if your surgeon ever asks if it's okay for the person from the medical device company to be present during your procedure,

say yes. Sometimes the doctor may need that expertise in the room. He signed off always pump. California, D.F. Ryan. But they came up, they asked me two questions. They said, do you care of students

observe? And do you care of someone from, I don't remember if they said device, but from the medical equipment, company is in the room. I'm like, I don't think, sure. I'm going to be sleeping. What are we talking about? Yeah, my mother-in-law will be here.

Right. Just woke up with a shlong. Just make sure I don't have any like BAFTA award outbursts. Oh, that's my nightmare. No film. Well, I'm under anesthesia. I know, dude. No filming.

I was super clear. I was like, do not let even my dad in the room. I don't care. It's funny. Give me a safe for you. We're not doing it. I got a couple. Because we had tanking talk earlier in the week.

Uh-huh. And somebody wanted this aware, this is from E, about the professional women's hockey league rules for tanking. Okay. And that is, this is called the gold rule, or excuse me, the gold plan. And as soon as you are... Like a sorroid membership. As soon as you were eliminated from playoffs, you begin earning points for the draft. So if you were the first team eliminated from the playoffs, and then you win a game, in regulation, you get three points.

Now, the thing is, is the worst teams will be eliminated first. the better teams are eliminated later. And so at the end of the season, there is kind of a race for that first pick. I've heard this proposed for basketball or that sort of thing we're tanking is rampant. And I think the one I heard was the actual worst team still gets the second pick.

So they're guaranteed like a, it's like a protection. There's some protection built in. But yes, whoever gets the most points post-elimination earns the number one pick. I love it. A win in regulation, three points, win in overtime to loss in overtime, one, loss and regulation zero.

But yeah, anything to de-incentifies or winning, or losing, I'm all four. Because they say that they've made tanking actually more prevalent now because they are rewarding the middle. Right?

Yeah, yeah. You have more of a chance? Verbiage. Yes. Now the number 11 worst team has never had a better chance to have the number one overall pick. or I guess maybe reverse that. The worst overall record has never had a worst chance

to have the number one overall pick. Correct. So they're incentivizing tanking for the middle. So if you think you're a bubble playoff team, well, why not just tank out of that so that we can possibly, we might get the number one pick? You never know, isn't that better than being the eighth seed and getting bounced?

I like it. I like it a lot. got an anchor word from Glenn diametrically. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That is a really good one. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, not joined. I don't know. I don't even really know what it means. It has a feeling of evil, though. Like diametrically. Like, to me, that's... The connotation of diabolical. Yeah.

Yeah. I just feel like it's an extreme word. Like, it just means different, opposed. But it is, dude, super. I know you were saying it was opposed. Diamentrically. It doesn't do it justice. So you hear all those syllables?

Fucking. Yeah. And then finally some audio. I'm good at sound and smart. This is from Carly from the chat. This is from Dan's CNN Morning Show featuring Kate Baldwin. She says this is an awkward transition. I feel like Jake is the judge of this.

Sure. Let's go. Here we go. Three cows escaped a trailer on the side of I-90. State police there. They staged something of a. slow speed chase to corral. All of them, apparently one, was particularly problematic.

That one was named Kate. They did. Is that the humor on this show? Yeah, no, he should have opened for Offerman. You see, there was a problematic cow, and its name is Kate, his co-host's name is Kate, and she's a little fire. Uh-huh.

That one was named Kate. They did get the cow, and they were able to remove of everyone safely. Kate. Sorry. Hey. Oh, J.B. I needed laughter today.

Here we go. Can we transition? We'll deal with this later. Okay, let's go to this. Today marks four years since Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Yeah. Now, she knew who was coming, tried to get herself ready for it and still, uh-oh.

On a serious note. Tens of thousands dead and displaced. Look at this heifer on the highway. I'm going to call her. Does he go? What's his name? That's his name's not J.B. It's John something.

Are they doing initials too now? We can't have the news. John Berman. Yeah. His name's not J.B. What are we doing now? Class clown J.B. Kevin Burkart is infiltrated CNN.

Throw it over to W.K. Walter Cronkite. It's the news. So I have someone who emailed in a viewer mail an Olympic Gummy thought. Now, maybe I could ask Drop Beth. Is that promo code working yet? Oh, really? Okay. All I know is we forwarded it to the right people.

All right, well, yeah, we promote Early Bird CBD. Dumb Zone 20 is supposed to be the promo code that works. And if it's not working today, let us hold off. We're going to get that working for you. But it's our favorite gummy is, of course. Yeah, you'll fail the drug test whether you pay full price or not. That part we could say is a guarantee. So my Olympic gummy thought.

100% has THC. Would be dear DZ leaders watching the Olympics on some fine early bird gummies. And I had a question. Are half the Olympic sports at the Winter Olympics actually signs that parents hate their kids? Ski jumping? Hey, five-year-old, go fast down a hill and jump 150 yards. The winter athletes are mostly people. from privileged childhoods and their parents just encouraged almost dying.

They all talk about their family supporting them and getting them into it at a young age, but was it actually that they were trying to get rid of an annoying kid and you just lived long enough to get good at it? Also, how does one get their wife into ski jumping in her mid-30s? Asking for a friend that's from Ryan. And I got you downhill slalom ski-werewskiwerews. lessons. Over last year,

I gave you the cooking lessons. Right. This year we're doing this. Right. That, yeah, that email,

I don't understand what the end game would be. Why would all these wealthy Nordic families want their families to die? Are all the winter sports

privilege-based kind of are? Yeah. They kind of are. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they have some. They don't have an inner-city

downhill skiing. Well, you know, you don't have to be wealthy to play hockey in Canada by any minute. It's farm boy, right? Yeah. I mean, I'm sure now it's become that. But I bet there's like, I bet there's like, you know, like that thing I saw was like the 50 kilometer mass start two and a half hour. I mean, you don't have to, I don't feel like you got to be wealthy to run. And that's just running.

Yeah. But way more than the summer. In the summer, for sure. For sure. Oh, and with some movie stuff. Ooh. Unrealistic movie things. Someone is carrying a stack of hundreds of pieces of paper through an office,

and then someone runs into them and all the papers go flying. Has anyone ever seen this happen? You kind of hold on to a few papers? Why is their reaction that just chuck them up in the air? When you're in a bind around the holidays, you need a little leeway, and you tell someone, come on, man, it's going. Christmas, hoping they'll give you a break. What's the hit rate on that?

That's a great question. That's a great question. Come on, man. It's Christmas. How often do cops or the FBI or the CIA actually lose a fugitive when they dart into a crowd or disappear behind a moving bus? Seems like it works every time. I don't know.

And when the aforementioned intelligence agency is a reviewing blurry security footage, all they have to do is tell someone. someone, quote, enhance that. Amazing. Suddenly, it's a perfect 4K picture. Always incredible. The enhancement capabilities. That is from D.F. Knox.

All right. Nice. Noxie. Time to eat? It is time to eat. And so while we're out here at Conne Roso, from what I understand, generally we do a break and we take it out for the audio listeners. But today, our break we will keep in. And it is an interview we have with one of the hot prospects in all of Major League Baseball.

Would you say that's true? Yeah. Have I oversold it? No. He's going to be 1-1 in a lot of drafts. Kyle Harrison is a Milwaukee brewer. And we interviewed him. And we would like you to enjoy that interview while we enjoy some Conne Roso.

All right, we got Kyle Harris. Harrison here in the nice suite here at the great American family American baseball hot dogs and apple pie field how you doing man doing great doing great beautiful morning actually it's a little chilly today you know it's uh what's going on with the weather's going on it's like low 40s not not used to this man I'll tell you that that's weird yeah um all week you live out here live out here live out here full time now yeah so definitely happy to be back in Arizona spring training, you know, spent about a week out in Florida spring training. So, yeah, good to be back out here,

man. What do you mean you spend a week in Florida? I don't understand. Just, you know, I went out there early. Then the trade happened. And here we go, you know, so back, back in Arizona. What's that like just getting traded? Yeah, you know, it's, I'd say, you know, the first time, you know, it's definitely shocking. But like, like I've been saying, you know, it's just, once that first time happens, you kind of know what to expect. And really the hardest part from there is just meeting the new guys and getting to know everyone. You know, it's like kind of like a fresh start, you know. Do you do a little sizing up, see who was on the other side of the trade?

For sure. I mean, honestly, at this trade, you know, I didn't even really care who was on the other side. You know, I was just excited and heard nothing about great things about this place. So, yeah, man, that was it. It was just all positive mindset. So where does Boston do spring training? Fort Myers, Florida. Okay.

And then what about San Francisco? Scottsdale. downtown okay right downtown all right so that's got to be pretty sweet to just get moved back right so do you go home and come back every day like do you ever get like a hotel up here or anything like that we know guys who would no i mean yeah yes and no i mean i haven't done it yet but i've just been commuting every day you know not too bad of a drive um i'll take that sleeping in my own bed it's awesome that's pretty sweet do a lot of dudes like major league players live out here because of because of spring training and just train here in the off season or 100% you know i think it's just

so many resources around here places the train coach strength coaches good rehab places i mean they got it all here and the weather's perfect for the time you know we're here so it's like that it's like that where we're from too yeah dfw is a place where you run into a guy you're like you never played for a dfw team yeah no state tax either it's the weather and and golf golf that has something to do with it yeah is that a big part of your game not too much you know i'm not too good you know unfortunately trying to into it a little bit here and there, but I got time, right? I got a lot of time. It's something you know, you get to do and meet guys through and no, man, it's cool, cool. So we go to

football training camp every year. That's what we're used to, and it's a way different vibe. Right. It's super intense. It's loud. This seems pretty chill. Like, this just seems like a much more chill ramp up into the season. Like, is this the most fun part of the year? Yeah, you know, you get to, like, especially for a new guy like me, it's like getting your feet wet, you know, it's like just getting comfortable, assessing, you know, the grounds, feeling what you need to do in your bullpens here and there. And it's, you know, gradually easing into things. And like you said, it's like very chill here. That's the vibe I've gotten so far. And it let you come in do your work and hold you accountable. Would it help if everybody wore name tags for you?

No, they got their name tags above the locker. Oh, okay. That's all I need. You know, you just put a face to the name. How long does that take for you didn't know the whole team? They're getting a little better. Not right now. But it's been, you know, I'm slowly, slowly learning.

Do you start with each and every day, you start meeting, you know, new guys. But let me at least know all the pitchers. Yeah, for sure. You got to know your group, starting with your group first and then move on. But yeah, that's the hardest part, a lot of guys in that room. It seems kind of cool as a pitcher to, you know, to be traded to Milwaukee as they seem to have a reputation of we turn pitcher, you know, we develop guys.

Do you have any feel for why that is or does anybody talk about that? Yeah, I mean, just in the week I've been here, you know, doing my work, it's been the attention, the detail, man. It's been just catch play. They're on you, you know, PFPs. We're doing all the little stuff. You know, it's holding a pitcher field in practice, you know, that's a little slang. for it but um no man it's just the work we're doing we're working hard and it's with intent and

um it's just really cool to see it and you can tell why you know they develop guys here so well and um just pump you up with a lot of confidence and it's a good it's a good place to be man how old are you 24 24 how are you what's uh your mindset like on nutrition and things like that that's just something i've noticed just changed with athletes over the years and usually a guy your age is still eating McDonald's and whatever, but it just feels like even younger high school guys are now starting to, like, I want to eat like LeBron or Tom Brady. Right. I mean, it's, it goes in the whole performance, you know, and I don't know, like it just, it's what it is nowadays, I guess, right? That's a standard. I mean, our lunches, our breakfast, you know, they're all great balanced

meals. So it's, it goes into the recovery part of things. You know, you're eating right, fueling your body with the right stuff, you know. Ultimately, it's going to be, like, you fuel it like an engine, you know, ultimately it's going to run faster and, you know, for longer. So that's just the way I look at that stuff. You know, I've done some other testing and stuff to see what my body's, like, sensitivity-wise, too. So I've dabbled into it a little bit. And, you know, to stay consistent on it, though, it's pretty pricey, too.

So, you know, it's, you know. Yeah, LeBron's got a person. Right. He's got it. He's got a factor. He's dialed in. He was a Factor Meals promo code or something. Exactly, right.

50% off. 100%. Just looking at your bio, and I don't know how much you know about, like, athletes before you, but I was very, I was a big fan of your high school in the 90s. Oh, yeah. Are you aware of the football heritage of De LaSalle? Yeah, trust me, I broke my dad's heart not playing football there. Really?

Good thing I had a little brother that did. Okay. 151 in a row in, like, the late 90s. Crazy. Football factory. DJ Williams, who was the Miami running back. and linebacker. But so that's what I was going to ask you is football your dad played?

No, he played in high school. I'm always a big football fan. And I could tell when I told them I wasn't playing freshman year, you know, I was going to focus on baseball because, like you said, they're really intense there. You know, they love their football so much that I wouldn't have been able to play summer ball or doing any of this other baseball stuff. So I was like, I want to have a summer, this and that.

Then I could tell he was a little bummed, you know, but no, man, I think football there is Mecca, right? I mean, it's elite. They've had a lot of names run through there, but baseball wasn't too far behind it, you know, at the time that I was there, you know, nationally ranked. So it was cool. It was definitely cool school to be a part of.

So the other thing that is different about being here than football that Blake was pointing out is a lot of the football guys have the same journey. You're a prospect in high school. You go to college. You come to the NFL. It's a fairly strict. I mean, I guess now guys are taking a little more circuitous. routes but baseball it's such a long journey even at 24 you've been in a bunch of different places if

someone just said to you hey kind of tell us your story like how did you get here what would you say yeah that's tough that's a tough way to put it i'd say um i don't know man you know i think it's just this game will take you places that you never thought it would you know i've been out of the country i've been you know with three other three teams already and i'm only 24 you know so it's just And you never, I'd say, you know, you just never know where this game's going to take you. You just got to enjoy every second of it. And that's just kind of been my story, you know, just trying to live day by day, get better each and every day. And whoever wants you wants you at the end of the day, that's kind of my story.

Where'd you go out of the country? Taiwan, when I was 18. Like a team USA deal? Yeah, it's a little team USA deal, you know, a little Busan, South Korea. So just all these. How long are you there? like a month, you know, so then that summer, so couldn't play football. That's cool, though.

But no, yeah, cool experiences, and that's why I think baseball is awesome, man, because you meet all these new people at different places, and you run into familiar guys that you played against and Lowe and all these different leagues. It's just one big family, so it's cool, man. When did scouts start hitting you up? Like, when did you know, man, I could, I might actually move on and past high school. Yeah, you know, I think it was kind of that sophomore year. I had a good sophomore year in high school.

Started throwing a little harder and then started to get some college interest. Like what's your velocity as a sophomore? Sophomore I was like hitting 80, started like to top out at 87, 88. Man, I was getting there. I was getting there a little bit early. So that's why all the schools were jumping on me early. And then I committed really early to UCLA. And now with the portal nowadays, now it's crazy, you know.

I got a little brother that plays ball at Texas A&M. So he's living through it right now. Why? Has he moved somewhere else? Yeah, he was actually at St. Mary's before that, had a good year. A small school in Maraga, California, you know, and then had a good year there and then transferred over to A&M. What's he played?

He's a catcher. So I'm a good, a little off-season buddy. Pitcher-catcher-douo we had. Okay, that's cool. Yeah. Is that how that developed? Yeah, for sure. Like I'm a pitcher, and I need.

Yeah, and then I don't know. He just devolved. It was always a catcher. You would always sit behind the plate catch for me. You ever try that position? No, I'm a lefty, man. I can't do it. Can't do it.

What a cop out. They left. I can't catch. I'm a lefty. Did you like naturally as a lefty, you had a natural curve? I don't know. I don't know what it is. I mean, you know, lefties are weird, you know, at the end of the day.

So we got a natural funkiness to us, I guess, you know, is what it is. Yeah, no, I remember the lefties, though, growing up all had like, oh, man, it was such a benefit. Right. Just the extra. That's why I didn't make the bigs, because the lefty had a natural curve. You got to be lefty. But as far as that, as a kid, then when do you just focus on baseball? Because we live in a community where, like, youth sports is out of control.

Right. Hey, he's eight. Now let's stop all the other sports. No. And I actually really disagree with that. You know, I think you got to be, I mean, shoot, I was even a junior lifeguard for five, six summers growing up as a kid going over to Capitola on the beach. you know, doing that stuff. So surf.

Yeah, I was a big believer and just, or my parents, I guess, too, were big believers in just keeping me athletic playing every sport, you know, and then once I kind of figured out, oh, he's left-handed, he's starting to throw a little bit harder. Like, all right, let's specialize in baseball and see if you can go somewhere with this. And sure enough, here we are, you know. What was that? Were you already in high school at that time you switched? Probably high school.

Yeah, it was like high school. I kind of dropped every other sport. And I was like, all, let's commit to baseball. So, I mean, I played a lot of sport, every sport on the son growing up, but up until high school. Your grandpa was a major leager? He was. So did he have any influence on you? For sure.

You know, it was in the back of my mind growing up, you know. I wouldn't say, you know, I chased after it because of him. You know, it's just kind of always happened. I knew he played. And, yeah, you know, it was just always cool to look up to him, have those conversations, play catch with him when he still could. So, no, it's awesome, man. That might have been more what it was than the left hand.

thing for you, Dan. And he was left-handed as well, so there you go. What? The little jeans? Jeans, the parents, the grandparents, that might have been more. So what's your experience with this year's automatic balls and strikes situation? What leagues have you played in that used it before? Like, what's your familiarity with this?

I think all of AAA. So I've got some experience in AAA. So, yeah, I've seen that ABS zone quite a bit when it's been really bad, you know, when it's been huge and when it's been small. you know, it's been decalibrated, so. Explain. I didn't know. They went through this. No, yeah. I mean, it was just right, like two years ago, two or three years ago.

I think they started implementing it. And obviously, you know, there's going to be some errors, you know, when you're trying it out minor league baseball. And obviously that's why they've been doing it for those couple years to just get all those little bugs. So how does it work? So I think, don't quote me on this, but I think they, like, measure the batters. Like, I think they're coming in soon to measure all the hitters.

I guess I meant just how does it work for you? Okay, now you're... That part of it's super interesting, though. Oh, okay. But so, like, the strikes, I think, is actually going to be different for each hitter based on their height. So, like, now, is that when they're doing this? Yes.

Like they're taking PR pictures of you guys and all that. Yeah, they're going to measure guys in the spring. Wow. So, yeah, for me, though, it basically is like black and white now. If it hits any part of the box, strike, you know, if it's any part outside of it, we've even seen point, like 0-0-0-1, whatever, you know. little minuscule things, just missing, you know, just crazy, but.

But if you're, but for you to say, I mean, just how does the mechanism work for you? Okay, I threw a pitch. I think that should have been a strike. Then that either the pitchers aren't really going to do it because we live off a lot of emotion, right? Like you always, right? Right. We always think it's a strike, right? You know, so the catcher's going to hold us accountable and he's going to be the one that's going to be on him to kind of make that split second decision, challenge or not.

So if he gets it right, you keep the challenge. and if you get it wrong, you lose that challenge. How many challenges you get? I think it's two. But it's just two throughout the game? Yes. But if you get them right, you keep them, you know. So you want to, you know, we're going to see how we implement that in strategy-wise.

But what would happen a lot in the minor league games is you'd run out of them and you'd be like, crap, we got no more left. Like you want to have those challenges. You got so you got to be convicted. Okay. I love it. So make sure it's not barely scraping the flag. For sure. And I think extra innings, I think they give you an extra one if you run out. I love it.

I love this element of it. I love that it's on the player to an extent. Right. Like you don't, you very rarely hear like... Can the manager do it? No, I don't know. Just the pitcher or catcher. Okay.

But it should be the catcher. I guess your manager can yell at the catcher do. Yeah, yeah, right. They can't, but it has to be like a split second. Because they all seem like they know from that, hey, I'm at this angle over here. But yeah, it was... Yeah. Right.

He says we only have a couple more minutes if you want to run through. Oh, okay. Yeah, we got a... What if they replace the umpire with a robot that looks like a... a human. Right. Like, I want a person out there, but you can, because I want someone to, you can fight it. Like, I feel like we need something that looks like a person out there to yell.

They could fight, yeah, for sure. All right, we do have a, we do with all our interviews here. And it's like, we got a show, obviously, right? And we have some dispute. Do you think it's obvious? I don't know, we're just, we're pranking you now. The PR staff is pranking you. We've bought all this equipment is fake.

Yeah. No. It's cake. So we have some disputes on the show, and we just want you to weigh in on them, see where you land. Okay. Some of these are disputes. Some of these are things that we actually agree on. But let's start with some bathroom-related items.

Okay. You have a dog? I don't. Okay. Have you ever? Are you anti-dog? No, I'm not anti-dog. I got a little, my parents had a little, like, we call them a rat, you know, chihuahua-mix, something.

Okay. So we got dogs. and sometimes they need washed. I will wash my dog in the shower, and then I will finish showering myself. He says you got to wash your dog. You have to wear shorts. I wear a bathing suit.

He does it naked. I think he's concerned that he'd be too attracted to the dog. I'm not sure what his... I don't want to bump into the dog. Oh, yeah, that's definitely slippery slope right there. Literally, yeah. Literally. Yeah, that's tough, you know.

Yeah, I think shorts are acceptable. You know, I'm not on that level with my dog. Yeah, you know, but maybe if it was my own dog, you never know. You know, maybe it was a little more easygoing. You know, right? You've known your dog for a while. He's not embarrassed for his dog to see it. I think it plays.

It's a platonic relationship for sure, me and my dog. Going number one is a, you know, you know what that is, right? Don't number one, like. Do you, I guess the thing is, is this an old man thing? We've discovered sitting down is the way to go. Sitting or standing? If you can. Growing up, it was always a very, oh, man, that's for girls.

Sitting down. But once you're... 100%. I've heard it's better for your prostate. Bades, yeah, they got squatty-potties. Okay, so you will admit. So, yeah, I will admit. You're out to.

This one's a weird one because it's him. What? Just brushing your teeth. You say you brush your teeth with no water on the toothbrush. Yeah, that tends to be my move. You got a wet. I always wear. I'm always wet.

And we go before or even get a wet, and then right before after I put the toothpaste on, I'm getting a wet again, you know. Okay, how do you park your car? Well, wait, but the big part of the brushing the teeth is do you rinse your mouth out after you brush your teeth? Oh, does he not do that? No, no, that's the water part. No, no, I don't.

He leaves all that crap in there. I've just heard from the dentist. You don't want to, like, you don't want to, yeah, you want to leave the floor, you know. Doesn't it affect everything you eat and drink after that? No, it goes way quick, you know. Yeah, it goes away. Your sandwich tastes like mint? Yeah, I don't want that.

He's a little, especially if you're not eating after, you know. Yeah, yeah. It's a little nice coating, you know. Okay, maybe we're the weird ones. When do you first brush? Right when I wake up in the morning, yeah. Because some people are like, oh, I'll have coffee and then eat and then I'll brush my, like, what? It's disgusting.

Yeah. Okay, I got a water cup one. Mm-hmm. Would you go, would you drink out of a Yeti that you had ever gone number one in? No, no chance. No chance. I'm not that. No, no chance.

This guy's a dirtbag. I thought maybe a baseball player would be. He's got washed it. He's got one of the feet. He was in the dishwasher. Yeah, he's like, these guys shower together. These guys are dirtbags, man. I put it in the dishwasher.

They're riding the bus. They're doing all kinds of gross stuff. Having a baseball player turn that down is not good. No, I mean, not good. If it works for you, you know. This one's a weird one. Brothers wife or wife's sister? It's been in the news.

Oh, crap, that's what I've heard. Yeah. We don't know. It's referred that to say, you know. That's a great question, though, man. Wow. It really is. This might be easy for you, but we found this about,

he mentioned we go to Cowboys training camp, and the players just don't know their rivals. Air quote rivals. Who are your NL Central rivals? I know for sure the Cubs. Yeah, right? Yes, that's one. One of one.

Well, do you know all the NL Central teams? Yeah. Okay. We got the Cardinals, Pirates, and what's the last one? Is there one more? Right? No one knows. It's the mystery team.

It's the mystery team. All of Major League Baseball has been searching for this for years. Man, why am I drawing a blank on this team? It's, these are the tough questions you're going to get with us. Yeah. And then we wanted to know, why are the air conditioning units on the roof here in an area? Shut up. No, we're not doing that.

Why? Actually, he might know. I thought he lives here. Swamp coolers? I don't know. No. This has been a big... It is interesting.

Oh, it's extremely interesting. It's all week. I've been talking about all week. That's our coverage. That and what are the breweries going to do at third base? We're just all these huge, huge topics. Well, thanks, man. Yeah, thanks for having me on.

This was awesome. Thanks for joining us. Hopefully we'll see you next year. Absolutely. We're going to be back. Sounds great. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. You guys want to talk about poncho?

Big, big poncho fan, poncho outdoors.com. Oh, is this the one that you can wear it fishing, you could wear it outside hiking. You can also wear it in a cowboy's press box. That's where I was going, yeah, because you look great in it. You can wear it on Fox 4. I see David Sintendendary. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

This is a big poncho guy. They say the ultimate outdoor performance shirt for men. Why did you say that? Why did you say that like you were starting an old folklore tale? I mean, back in, grandpappy would tell me. They say it had SPF 50. Built right into the shirt, your grandpa wouldn't believe it. Poncho outdoors.com slash dumbzone.

Give them your electronic mail. They'll give you $10 off your first order. Tell him, Cirque de Soroy sent you. Please. So I'm wearing these for the first time in public. Oh, today's the day? Today is the day. Did you have them on in the first half of the show?

No, I don't. Okay. I can't see. What do you guys think? I think he looks great. I think he pulls it off. What do you? Yeah.

Who is this guy? That's Dan. It's Dan McDowell. An IPO on a series B? So I found another reason I hate these glasses today. Oh, no. It's the way they look. I like the way they feel.

I like that I can see perfectly, all that. Important factors. But remember the initial reason I... Cut all this off and call it a Warby Parker spot so we don't have to do it later. Did you... But do you know why I initially said I'm resistant to wearing these? I do, but do you... Was the Jason Kidd thing?

Jason Kidd. Yeah. I watched the press conference. He's wearing him. Yeah. I don't want to look like Jason Kidd. And then today... I decided to roll on some audio, see if we wanted to use it.

There was really nothing in there. But it was Stephen Jones at the combine. Oh, yes, you're right. He had those on when I saw him drink that whiskey bottle, for real. Because they were all fogged up. So what I feel like now, when we named our kid Ava, it was very unique. And everybody's like, oh, and then two years later, everybody in every school is named Ava. It's just hard being as

being as cool. Being as Dan McDowell. Right. So no, a couple years ago, though, my buddy, I got a good friend of mine, said that he was getting these.

And I don't know anything that's cool. I don't know fashion. I don't know how shoes are supposed to match your shirt. So this guy, though, that I'm friends with, I do look at him like a, he kind of knows what he always looks good and everything. He's getting this clear lenses. I want them.

Yeah. All because of him. I'm just trying to follow, you know, don't. Do we do this? Do we follow? Like, I just think this guy's cool. Sure. I'm going to wear this that this, this, it's another male.

Hey, how about this? I'm, uh, I just, I bought the exact same shoes Mike Soroy had one time. See that? He wasn't, he wasn't super thrilled about it. They were clear shoes. But I, he had a pair of shoes and I said, I like those. I'd like to buy the same one. So it's actually been a couple of them.

couple of years of courage built up to me and then a sponsorship with a glasses manufacturer that had me say, you know what, I'm just going to go order the clear lens. And I didn't look at society before that. I'm very narcissistic. I just look at myself usually. And then now I'm looking at society going, wait, everybody else already has these. I'm like the last guy in and I look like a door. You don't look like a dork at all. You don't look like a dork at all. Or I guess many people would love to be Stephen Jones. Those are the frames of DFW sports power players, Dan. Put that on the thing.

That's it. Yeah. That's it. Warby Parker. I don't know. There's a slight like get out vibe. Jason kids, Stephen Jones, Dan McDowell, like the, who's fourth on the Mount Rushmoreitz? All right.

Yeah. No, I'm not searching for it. Oh, no, they look good. I don't. Whether they look good or not. They look like Stephen Jones and they look like Jason. kid and that's two men who are titans in their field oh maybe I'll get an eye patch I could be like that politician guy Dan Crenshaw there we go I bought

an I patch few years ago for that well no we were going to hangout fest yeah and I'm like bald dude with an eye patch wait what does that mean I was I don't always want to be that dude like because if you see that if he walks in right now you're like double take oh yeah I wore one at I want people look at this guy I wore one at Marty girl once because this i mean this is 20 years ago but i lost a contact and i wasn't carrying extra contacts at 19 or 20 so i bought an ipatch which they had at walmart in louisiana i don't know that that that yeah right by the register like great last purchase it's surprisingly comfortable because if you have one contact i'll take a five pack you're going to get a headache

so it actually is very helpful in that regard but i all i remember about it was when i woke up the next day another one of my friends had it on. See, there you go. Your I patch? Yeah, it was. Somehow we had transferred ownership of the iPatch. Was it like a handicap because you were so hot and you could get chicks anyway? Just pass it off.

Let me just see if I can also outscore you. I'll bag with an eyepatch. No, iPch makes you hotter, especially if you're already hot. It works. I don't know if it's related or not at a friend who got lit up and flag football in the eye and a black eye, like swollen whatever. And we went out like the night after that and he wore black sunglasses. I'm like, let's pretend you're blind.

And he wore black sunglasses and we got him a stick. And I'm like, dude, you got to do this. So he went up to girls and did the touch the face and say, you're beautiful. And he ended up making out with a girl the end of the night with his glasses on and stick. That's a great bit. I'm like, what an effing hero. That's a great bit. And you know who it is, but I will not reveal them publicly.

Ooh. I'm interested in the stick. Would you reveal it to anybody here at Coni Roso who grabs you privately and just pulls you aside? Yeah, sure, absolutely. Okay. They might not know the person, though. Oh. But you guys do.

But touching a face and saying you're beautiful. It's a great move. She wasn't, by the way, just to be clear. All right. That wasn't a bit, though. We're going to do the news out here and put his song. His hand did not work. The news will be brought to us by Air DNA, and they got a road show coming up next week.

It is Tuesday, March 3rd at 6 p.m. I believe. you can RSVP at AirDNA.com slash Dallas Roadshow. Wrench your house up for the World Cup. Maybe a weekend. It crossed my mind. That's the thing. That's what AirDNA does. They help you transform your home into an Airbnb.

Really? Just kind of give you the tips on that. And so they're inviting people to go out. Let's see. Is this near you? It's community. Community beer company? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. Where is it used to be? Right off the freeway. That's Dallas? Yeah. Okay. So community beer. Your beer company.

It's going to be Tuesday, and you can RSVP at AirDNA.com slash Dallas Roadshow. I'm going to Hawaii, bitch. You are? Yeah. Why? When? Let's do the news. During the World Cup.

That's the news. During the World Cup? Oh, are you running your house? You really are? For a month. Are you renting your house? Yes. T.C. took the pictures the other day.

How did you learn to turn your home into a rental property? C&NN really does blow because we got more than news. On your radio, boy. Okay. What was that? The news rep today. The news wrap intro. They talked all over it.

Well, I didn't know. I'm sorry. I mostly talked all over it because it sounded like an Affleck duck rep. And I really like the other one because it comes in with authority. Speaking of authority, I have some news real quick. Yes, to go to Mike Sor and Soroy News desk. Some lady on the tollway slammed on her brace because a little plastic bag blew in front of her car. on the way here today?

Yes. Slammed on her brakes. I don't drive on the tollway. I've told you guys that. I'm a Fort Worth boy. I avoid the tollway at all costs. It's danger zone, brother. Not enough orange barrels on the road for this Fort Worth Road.

You didn't drive the tollway here? I will at the last minute, you know, like I'll take one, like I try to avoid the Dallas North Tollway. Huh. It's a death trap. Oh. I feel like the tollway is not that bad. I love the tollway.

Dude, that area north of like where we used to work. It just gets so stopped up that it can't be a death job. Oh, it's too fast. Do you ever think of the tolls, what you're paying? Like now on the app, I checked how long it would take me to get here, and the toll was right at the bottom, and it's $4.70 for me to get to my house to here. And I'm like, $10 a round trip? It's not something I ever think about, but now I'm like, Jesus.

Go ahead. That's serious. Do we have a theory on this? What? I thought you were going to ask him. Like, is he side-streating it? No, I thought you were going to ask him. Is he going to write it off?

Dan learned the term right it all. Oh, okay. So he's been saying it. He's got it right off, dude. He's been saying it in every situation off the air. My whole toll tag bill, though, I just, that whole thing just gets thrown in. Everywhere I drive must be for work. No doubt.

All right. I will do that. This is an interesting case that I could be, I could see being national fodder. This comes to us from out-perman. way, West Texas. We had a teacher who was arrested for felony kidnapping. And the situation is they had a 15-year-old student who was, according to the student and according to the teacher, having a very bad time at home.

And the student told the teacher this, and she's like, I will protect you. Come to my house. Some type of abuse. Yeah. And I don't know that there's really any question about that. that. The question is, well, it's not a question, it's illegal. For a teacher to go beyond, like,

hey, I'm going to tell somebody about this and go into... Mm-hmm. I'm just going to have... I will shelter you. I'm going to have you over to the house. And somebody saw, you know, there's a missing person's out for this child. Then they see the child with the teacher. The teacher gets arrested for... But they weren't doing the diddling?

No. No indications of diddling. One brief note. I see my friend Brad is here. He's sitting where Jacob was sitting. And Jacob sent you a photo in the break that was a photo of Dan's water one hour after it had been delivered. I have it. I didn't upload it. One hour after delivery, untouched.

Full water right here. Principal. You see it, folks, 1252. One hour after the water came. How long? He's not going to drink it. He is not going to drink it. Now, he took a couple of sips in the break, but he could have waited until the break to take those sips. Amazing.

dude listen to this on that like that story you just told I did something I feel guilty about to this day but kind of and you tell me what the ruling is I was in high school I got in trouble for whatever right in class disrupting and I go to the principal's office and it had enough of me and they're going to call my house right call my dad basically and I very seriously and I said this genuinely said please don't call my dad and I was like he's a bit of an overreactor And in my world, I mean, he was going to be pissed and I was going to deal with shit. Never laid a hand on me, never anything even nearing inappropriate. You intimated.

You're lying. No, no, no, because he was going to fucking overreact. Like, in my mind, he's going to absolutely freak on me. I'm screwed. I'm a deep shit. I was telling the truth. I wasn't implying that in my head. I was just saying, my dad's a bit of an overreactor.

And the guy had the phone. He just put the phone down. Never called home. Wow. So what's the rule? What's... So you were intimating that he would physically abuse you. No, even if you wasn't.

By saying that. The guy took it that way for sure. And I was not... Overactor to you meant yelling. Exactly. Screaming at me and grounding and whatever. That'd be super funny. Like, you just, kid just keeps getting in trouble and realize...

So you get... You stole the valor of somebody who... By accident. By a victim. My true victim. Well, I got caught cheating at school again. You're in the principal's office. And you're like, sure hope, uh, you don't call my dad

lest he whack me off again. He's just like, oh, put the phone down. So I live with guilt, but it worked, as Donovan taught him. I was thinking about that the other day. I don't have many of these in my life, but there was one situation where a kid, a kid forced, a couple of buddies of mine forced me outside of our football locker room to the outside portion. And I was naked. And there was a tennis match going on.

there's a big tennis center over at my high school was one of the first ones and they were my friends and they blamed another kid and I didn't have a ton of use for him and they were my friends on the team and we all played so you went along with it?

I was like yeah the other kid got in trouble I think I went with like I didn't really see you know so I don't know and I remember dude I swear to God like it's a lifetime movie I remember leaving that day or the next day probably on the bus pulling out of the front of the field house and him sitting out front

because they had told him you can't play in the game. So his parents are, he's just sitting out there. And I'm like, God, I'm a bad person. Yeah. Other people just do this? That's like the first note, first twinkle you had of, I might not be a good person. Yeah.

Yeah. What can you do? No. Well. Let's see here. Uh, ooh, this is a not a fun one. Do you know who, does the name Fred Loya mean anything to you, Blake? Insurance?

Yeah. Yeah. Fred Loya, Sr. of, uh, every Rangers, stars, or Mavericks commercial break ever has pass away. Oh, no. I remember him for having a steady supply of thick Latinas in his local insurance commercials. We have him to thank for getting Kevin Millwood. Really?

Was he sponsored the show? Oh, yeah, just the cap. He allowed the Rangers' freedom to have an ace. I think he had the Felice Lovidad billboards. Really? Yeah, with L.A.W. I like it. Right.

Gnawed. Enjoy it? Yeah. Okay. We're here at the Star and Frisco today, or Coné Rosso adjacent to the Star and Frisco. And somebody's going to have to explain to me what's going on with this new Taylor Sheridan show.

Okay. because I see last night, Dan, are you aware of the show, Tulsa King? Yeah, I've heard of it. It is a Sylvester Stallone joint written by Taylor Sheridan. He's like an old-time mob guy or something in Tulsa. He got relocated, I guess, to Tulsa. To Tulsa. I've got to take over down here.

And so Tulsa, I don't really know anything about, but in Oklahoma, there is sort of just a, I don't know, a thin feel of like, what the fuck is going on here, right? Like, it's kind of not a great play. Like, you're in Oklahoma and you're like, I don't know, something weird's going on. But, you know, do you feel that way about Frisco, Texas? Because apparently the next series is called Frisco King. What? And it stars Samuel L. Jackson in a series that will be written entirely by Taylor Sheridan.

This was initially supposed to be called Nola King. and for whatever reason, that would make sense, right? TV shows about New Orleans, another place where when you're there, you're like, what's going on? Yeah. Yeah, no, this doesn't. Now, obviously, because the internet is, I say the internet, I hate when people do that, because society's society, just about every single reply I saw to the story had some sort of H-1B or Indian joke in it of like, what is he hiring for AT&T?

who is the Frisco King. And I've tried to get to the bottom of whether or not this is actually set in Frisco, Texas. And I can't. San Francisco? It's being shot here, meaning Fort Worth. However, everything he does is shot here, whether it's set here or not. So it could, you know, he used Danny's bar. I heard you guys talking about on Cirque.

They used Danny's bar for a scene that I don't even think was supposed to portray Texas. No, it's a show called the Madison. and they just dropped the trailer like yesterday. It's all New York and Montana, like deep country stuff. Yet they use Twilight and Deep O them. Yeah, twice. So they're just set up here to film. So it says in the morning news the show's fictional milieu will now be Frisco, Texas, instead of New Orleans.

And honestly, if you'd ask me to rank interesting cities, New Orleans might have been two or three, Friscoe, three or four. So it makes sense that that's the next logical jump. What are they going to do? Fight over changing the name. of the mascot? What are the hot? What are we talking about? Yeah, another high school?

We're trying to play PGA. We're 5A. Trying to play PGA Fields East. Yeah. You can't get on. You can't get on. Call the King. Motherfucker for one.

8 a.m. Motherfucker. How is Samuel got info? Dude Perfect. Where? Oh, dude perfect. That could be a storyline for sure. That's a whole half a season.

He walks in. Yeah. What are you doing? I just have a problem. I'm looking over at the Cowboys. That must be another player. Across the street, they have a mural of Cowboys and they have a number 17 holding the ball

looking like he's dropping back to pass. But that can't be Brandon Aubrey. Sorry. Don Meredith? Is Don Meredith number 17? That sounds right. What was Danny? 12?

No, 12 is Rogers. Sorry. 15. I was just looking at that. 11. And thinking about Frisco. Are you trying to produce a moron dog moment today? Why don't you just keep talking?

Like, you're sitting there doing other shit while I'm talking. Because I want you to talk back to me. I am. Okay, it's one thing if you're looking. It's another if you take off your glasses, which he did, clean them and kind of hold them up to see. And then just started pressing his face forward like he was looking at a, like he's a boy at a toy shop.

This is worse than dealing with my wife. Well, maybe I'll fire the top off for you. Anyways, they're going to do a Samuel L. Jackson show about the mean streets of Frisco, Texas. I have no idea. I kind of like it. What could it possibly be about? But like you said, you have not confirmed that it's Friscoe Texas. I haven't, but the news is running with it.

But there's no way to San Francisco. It would be pretty weird if they were filming a show about San Francisco here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't have to be said here, but it can't be that. It can't be, I don't know, what's another one? Now, is it current day Frisco or do they film it in a field? When it was the whole field? Yeah.

Samuel Jackson. It's very modern. Nissan's going to pay taxes, motherfucker. Also, Samuel Jackson. What is he 80? What are we doing? Yeah. I feel like he's still got juice.

I feel like Shottie needs to go hiring their actors. Like, let's look for some younger ones. Probably. Sylvester Stallone. Yeah. Samuel L. Jackson. That show's killing it, though. Like Rose is going to be fired up.

It shows killing it. it though. I don't know if Rose likes Currence Stallone. 77 for Samuel L. She loves 80s. 77. Come on.

Michael B. Jordan is standing right there. There's a Friscoe King. Kind of all sad. This guy's yelling at him. Do you guys remember stuff like this from when you were a youth? I actually have an open for this, Blake. If you want to play it, I'll play it.

And now, the feel-good story of the day. Right here on the dumb zone news desk. I'm not going to like this. Students and athletes at J.J. Pierce High School raised $20,000 for the medical bills of their custodian. And donated a bike to him. Do you remember when stuff like this would happen when you're in school?

This is a terrible story. I saw this. Okay. I thought it was mildly interesting, but... No, it's just terrible. terrible that... I know what you mean. Yeah, I guess the society that we live in type of.

Right. That we do, you know, greatest country on earth. We have so many riches, all this kind of stuff. Right. The reason they're doing this is because they're a custodian, like he couldn't pay his medical bills. Correct. He got sick and he's 70.

And like, oh, let's have a feel good... Well, I guess they just got him a new bike, too, because I don't know what the deal is with the bike. But yeah, it's not like he's... all like this. Yeah. He rides a bike to school and he's the custodian for like 50

years. He's not like real with it. He's not solving like problems that are left on the board. Double take. You don't know that. Well, unless it's like an elementary school but then he does long division

and so he's like who saw, who did this overnight? He carried this one. It's the smartest second grader we have. Easily fourth grade math in his second grade class. He's in the background. This guy's like, how do you like this apple? He holds up an orange. But yeah, that's why I...

Richardson Bike Mart donated a new bike. He said, I think it's very surprising to me, a big thank you to everybody, Blake. You know what this is? Those kids have treated him like shit for four years, and now they feel bad for him. Well, trying to make up for him. younger, I saw one of the little kids talking about it, so this isn't high school kids. Is it not? It said high school.

Oh, it is? Yeah, it's a swim team. It's a high school swim team. Oh, my bad then. Maybe they just got one of the little kids, younger kids to, like you said. Face of the franchise. Yeah, most of the kids are, you know, hey, let's throw away this, you know, like Jake. Let's pour this chili here so he has to clean it up.

I was like Jake. You did that? I'm just, no, probably not. He probably wasn't mean. We had a tremendous amount of respect for our janitors. In fact, our club was called the future janitors of America. That's right. The only issue we had was the one of them that had the voice box,

and we had a band to promote. And that's not your fault. We had to put up signs, and he had to take him down, and he would yell, you know. No more flyers, the whole bit. That's out of your hands. That was just too good. I didn't smoke those cigarettes, either. You know? Right. He did.

A lot of, a... The roadkill was a... That is true. A lot of societal pressure there, though. I know. Different time. The police department out in Laredo. I put a quick video in there for you guys to see this. I feel like we don't see as much of robots anymore. Everyone's talking when they talk AI.

It's like the language models and look at the shit it can do and blah, blah, blah. We don't see as many of the... You're worried about Boston. dynamic. I miss Boston dynamic. Laredo got a a SWAT dog, a robot SWAT dog.

You can see in the image there. Half a millie. And it kind of looks like a dog, but kind of, I think we may be seeing the end of the police dog in your lifetime is what I'm telling you. Well, the police dog could still sniff and follow the scent.

Don't you think that thing can sniff? No. No. Ooh. I think that thing could have a bomb. and go blow up, blow itself up in front of you. Yeah, the bomb bot. It says it can detect nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons,

all of which are very prevalent in Laredo, Texas. Yeah, this is, didn't they do, like, a report on the Fort Worth? No, we had to, police department in their tank or the... Dude, there was a tank in Fort Worth that was equipped with a deal to, like, scrape cell phone data for anyone at a, like, a thousand-yard area, yeah. Beautiful. Dude, nobody got to get more rock hard after 9-11 than local police departments. Talk to anybody who worked in, though.

I mean, they got to buy and get awesome stuff. Yeah. At discount rates. Do you need it? Don't know. But anyways, they got a bomb dog in Laredo. I'm stuck on can robots sniff? I mean, it says detect chemical warfare.

Yeah, but there are just detecting metals or liquids or whatever. But wouldn't that smell have some sort of chemical component to it that was... Also, you just nod when they tell you that it can do that? Oh, okay, good. Like, okay, really? Well, I don't think you nod when it goes up to it and you have explosives there and it smells it. You test it. And the robot sits and you know.

Roll over. The robot starts scraping its ass on the ground afterward. That, oh, you know what, I do want to do this story. final Tony Gonzalez not the tight end update. Okay? We've been talking about this story because there's a Texas politician who we found out some months ago was having an affair with a staffer. And that staffer went on to kill herself by means of self-immolation. She lit herself on fire.

So they say. No, no, no. She lit herself on fire. because there's a police report. And the police report is being released in part because Tony Gonzalez has been pushing the police department, I believe Yuvaldi, to release it. Because he's like, this is going to clear me. Now, he's not necessarily denying that he had this affair.

He's saying she was a great person, move on, there's nothing here. He wanted the police report released because in the police report, report, it actually says she told the police she lit herself on fire because she found out her husband was having an affair. Recently estranged husband was nailing her best friend. Now, we don't know if that recently estranged was because the husband found out she was having sex with her politician boss. But the reason we know this is because apparently when you light yourself on fire, you don't die right away. They got there. They got there. They say there's security footage of her trying to get into a blanket and roll around and footage

of her crawling to a faucet. Changed your mind. Like desperately trying to get the fire out. The police get there and they interviewed her alive. And so she's like, yeah, my husband, they find text. She had sent to him, like, have fun raising our kid on your own. So Tony Gonzalez, the politician, the original one, is in a very interesting situation here of being like,

you can't prove, because there are texts. Well, like I said, he's sending like, got nudes, up for anal. Yeah. But he's like,

don't put this death on me. This guy. Yeah. Go talk to him. But the images they say they have of her, like, I mean, she didn't die until the next morning at the hospital.

Wow. So, boy, but we went. Metal A-F, but. Was that one of our options last week? What?

That she had, No, his best friend. Oh, no, it was brother. It was. Yeah, we could tell that story. Brother's wife. We edited it out of the interview, right? Oh, okay.

No, we were on the, us talking about it. Yeah. Not the Brewers. Asking Major League players about it, which no one else will hear. I heard that story. Yeah. But yeah, Major League Baseball wanted to, let's not put those questions in that. We just had a meeting and the MLBPA.

No, but yeah, so either way. But it was... So what did we have? You had sisters, you had wife's sister or husband's wife. Or brother's wife. I'm a dummy. Yes.

And now we have wife's best friend throwing into the mix. Oh, I think wife's best friend probably shoots to the top, right? And that guy was boning with impunity because his wife had already had sex with her boss. He's getting publicly humiliated by it. He's not vengeeffing. You know? Right, but what's... He wasn't going to aim for anything lower than her best friend.

Now, he probably didn't know the second he sent that, I think she's a bitch too, that it was going to result in this lady crawling to the faucet. Well, dude, wait. No, but it would be more hurtful to the lady, I think, if it was her sister. I'm not sure. But the point is that not a lot of people know this. So that lady was married to Sean Bass's best friend.

And the reason... She didn't have a sister. Didn't have a sister. That's quite the setup. That's why he had to... There's your news. Oh. No, I like it.

I like it a lot. I like how people... We're really helping to fill up the patio. People come in and they're like, yeah, I'm probably. Yeah, let's go sit outside. It's a beautiful day. It's a beautiful day. It is.

And, you know, I wanted to conversationally just say to you, Jake, Fast breaks, buzzer beaters, and block parties are back. An underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. I made a play this morning. You did? Tell me. I took Kumar Rocker over two and a half strikeouts with a Luca points rebound assist combo for a three-time payout. Do you think they don't have baseball?

Spring training baseball, they do. If you get your picks right, you could win up to 5,000 times your cash. Good Lord. That's true. So if you use the app today, it's Underdog. That's the app. promo code Dumb Zone. You get $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5.

The promo code is DumbZ. So, yeah. Underdog, make picks, win money. Listen to this person talk very fast. All right. 19 plus and A-L-N-C-O for some games. 21 plus an A-Z, M-A, and V-A. And present in a state where underdog fantasy operates.

Terms apply. C-assets. UnderdogF-Fan-W-D-S-W-T-M-L for details. Off for not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, concerned with your play. Call 1-800 gambler or visit www.n.combing.org. New York. Call the 24-7. Hopeline at 1-8-7-78.

Hopenee or text, Hopeney 4-6-7-369. Yeah. Happy birthday. Thank you. It is a pretty day outside, isn't it? It is. You want to go out and have a catch? Got soccer practice tonight, but I'll go have a catch with you,

a one-hand catch. I had a guy shirtless earlier. See here. Viewer male birthdays is what we're into here. If Brandon wanted that contract, he'd be out here kicking right now. That's the thing. That's where he is.

He's a real worker. That's why he can't be reached for comment. That's what it said. I'm just seeing if we got any other real birthdays. As the day rolled in, we have a bunch of them on this Thursday. We start with

Dear Dictator of the Downstairs Mouth. I'm Tanner, today is my Pat Tillman birthday. And then he tells us a pretty long story about actually, didn't we have a guy on talking about 23 and me, finding out he had a half brother or something? Yes, but the OG of that was when we had KJ on.

What was his story? He got into 23 and me and accidentally made one of his uncles own up to a son he didn't know about. And they ran into, they were at a family reunion. And KJ said that, like, basically that part of his family has not talked to him since then. Like, they didn't want to know each other, or at least the dad didn't. Yeah, you always hear about, oh, they welcome you. It's like the lion that hasn't seen its trainer for 10 years. Big hug, no.

This wasn't that, I don't think. Yeah, he's got a story about that apparently his dad did it and found out he had a brother that he didn't know. brother that he didn't know about and they're actually they now have this they have the same name they grew up there in the same field it's like really weird my uh this is a little bit different but my mom or excuse me my wife's mom has one more sister than when i first met her because they found her mom uh so her grandma was forced to give up her first daughter for adoption in like missouri like what year we're talking dude what i mean 50s or something? Early 50s probably.

And her name, same name that they named one of their other daughters. So she has two aunts of the same name. They didn't find out until way later. Was her name Rugnett? Yes. Rouglas, actually is the government name. Yeah, that happens, man. Dude, I mean, think about it.

This is gross. People are trying to eat. But, like, you think my dad was wearing a condom? Like in the 70s? Like when he makes that joke about like, oh, two I know about. Right. In the 60s? Did they ever foresee the technology where it's like, I could probably get found out about this 50 years later?

Right. They never, right. No way. They couldn't find serial killers if you just stay in a county apart. On the other side of the golf course, the guy has another family. Right. He had another family living within 10 minutes of me. Yeah.

What if Chappie tried to bring him in? Jake, Joe, this is. This is Johnny. Yeah, my God. I can't imagine. It's very funny to imagine. Dear Uncle Hotmail, Thursday is my husband Sam's birthday. This is his first birthday as a father,

and he's the best dad to our daughter, Ava, who is eight months old. Nice. How do you know? Right. He might be a terrible dad. I guess you do everything Dan does. Like, does she ever, would she rank him against Jake? I think Jake's a fantastic dad.

I bet he'd be a better dad to Ava. Maybe. More experienced. I think it's weird that the Ava thing that bothers you, to the extent that it does, is that everybody else stole your name. And less that just like when I met you, I was like, oh, so the bit is he likes Hitler, right?

Okay. You know. It's just a good name. It is a great name, for sure. Like, does everybody, I get held to a higher standard than everyone else, and that's what it is. Unfortunate because, yeah, are you yelling at Sam, the great father?

He named his kid, Ava. Oh, hey, bro. He's taken after Dan. You like Stalin? I would be named her Svetlana. His leaders are Liz Brunig's laugh, Severance Soroy, Moron Dog, and the Lee Corso interview. We live in Houston, but he's a massive Rangers fan. If you could somehow be part of the surprise by telling him.

So this is Sam With an eight-month-old daughter, Ava Telling him that I got him and his dad Tickets to the Game in May here in Houston. That would be amazing. Wow. Did you think it was going to be like, I'm pregnant?

Yes, kind of. Yeah, or... So you're... Now, Sam is probably, unlike you, very happy that he heard about the tickets and not that she's pregnant. Relieved. Yep.

Especially because his kid's eight months old. Depends on how it lands. Yeah, I don't know. Don't people turn. I mean, my grandma was having kids like every 18 months for 20 years. I guess, yeah, I guess you could. I don't know how it works.

Yeah. I don't know how it works. Anyway, this will be more effective than wrapping a present. That's from Michelle. So look at what we did for Michelle. Yeah. You're going, Sam. Now, what do you got for us?

It's a minute made on a Tuesday. Dan, Dan, the front bottom man. It's got a new name. T.C. told me last night. Oh, really? It's a Japanese name of the Astros ballpark. Dare, whatever. It's not Minutemade.

Really? Want to wish loyal D.F. Juicebox. Also a big Cirque fan. What up, Soroy. Peter Sharp, a happy Josh Hamilton Rangers' birthday. He won't have time to be licking whipped cream off anyone's breast this week because he is prepping to run the Cowtown Half Marathon on Sunday in his no puppet hat.

Hell yeah. He would like some. Jake, no puppet audio to celebrate the big day. Why not? Has anyone ever run a marathon and not told anyone about it? It's true. How does this friend know he's running the countdown? Because he told him.

He told everyone in his phone and running a half. I've got pretty close to not say anything. And then Dan will, oh, would you run a triple marathon yesterday? He inflates it so that I have to say half. He says full every time Because he wants me to go It's just a ham I ran a marathon

Back in COVID days I got a shirt to prove I have two shirts to prove it I saw a sticker too right Back in the other I got a sticker now One day at a time From ZK and the rest of the Jekyllopes Run Club

Come join us Jake We know you love runners That's gonna be a pass For me dog Dear Dr. Duce Dah in the hoo-ha. It is my Dallas Cowboys specialist and Dumb Zone's own Trent Sieg birthday.

My leaders are Burline's taxi cab confessions, Blake's proximity to teenage girls-based facial hair, and corn pop. Corn pop, yeah. He was a bad dude, cornpop. More Soroy. Biden had to beat up with a chain when he was a kid. Way, way, way more Julie.

Way, way, way, less KT and less of the heppala virus. Keep on piss mogging and moose-maxing from Matt Greenlee. There's no way this is true. Corn Pop was a bad dude, and he ran a bunch of bad boys. And I did, and back in those days, the show how things have changed. One of the things you had to use, if you use plummet and your hair, you had to wear a bathing cap. Shut up. There's no way this road. It's on Fox News's YouTube channel, but that guy was president. And so he was up on the board wouldn't listen to me. I said, hey, Esther, you, off the board. I'll come up and drag you off.

Incredible. That was like two years ago. And Eric in Plano says, Dear Daniel, did I write this email to wish myself a happy birthday? I did. Are most of my friendships parasocial? They are. was not woken up in a special way because I'm old and married. Listen to your ad supported content with a qualis roof and community mechanical service contract. Nice. Then he says, sadly, I'm not a current paid subbie. It's okay.

The economy. AI. This may be, may or may not be related to Jake's Aggie hate, bike rider antipathy, or his belief that cucks that play individual sports are somehow less. than. That one is 100% true. Leaders are Dan's dishwashing,

Sarah Hepala's beautiful mind, and Blake's dead dog. More roast twins, less long listener emails. That guy's a genius. Andy Kaufman. That is Eric in Plano.

Yeah, I'm out a good 15 minutes of cleaning up dog mess every day. Oh, I met this guy. He's here. Is he still here? His son is almost an exact 9-11 baby. Oh, wow.

He was born on June 9th. Wow. The next year. He said it his dad, maybe his dad was like, was it got Richard Clark in the government or somebody who knew about it ahead of time, plant the seed two days in. All right, we go now to...

Game Day Men's Health presents on this day in history. You ever been to the... the 9-11 bar? He wasn't born on 9-11's. That's a bad question. You know about the 9-11 bar in Fort Worth, right? It obviously turns him on. The dad, yeah.

Yeah. Fired up about it. There's a whole themed bar over where I used to live. How have we not been there? I know. It's crazy. We need to. What's it called?

It's called 9-11 bar. You haven't tried their fall in and fond do? Oh, go. No. It's fantastic. So today's Thursday, February 26, on this day in 1933, the AP reported that NFL owners had voted to move the goalposts in, forward 10 yards, onto the goal line. What year?

1933. So they were back. They wanted to encourage more field goals and reduce the number of ties. This, in spite of arguments, that this could result in more injuries to players. Pretty obviously. They were like poppycock. I cannot believe that we went that long with the goalpost in the middle of the field. Yeah.

And the two, the two base posts, too, usually. If we ever talked to Jerry, that has to be our question. Yeah. It was in the era that he was coming up. Like, did you ever throw the ball through the uprights to a receiver? You had to have, right? Like, if somebody just running a dig. You would have to use that as a screen.

Yeah. Yeah. You just run your defender right into the coal post and knock the house. That's wild. On this day in 1998, a jury in Amarillo rejected an $11 million lawsuit brought by Texas cattlemen against Oprah Winfrey. Yeah, I remember this. They blamed her for a price fall after a segment on food safety that included a discussion about mad cow disease. This extremely 90 story right there.

This lawsuit also brought us. Yeah, you were going to say it. Her guy that coached her up for the trial was Dr. Phil. You need to. Like if we didn't have this lawsuit, we would have never been at the Dr. Phil taping. There would have never been people hired. His son wouldn't have wrote that song that you made us listen to.

Six months later fired. Yeah. My wife would have never gotten a picture with Dr. Phil's wife when I was at Rangers fantasy camp. Okay. She ran into Dr. Phil's wife and was like, yes, I want a picture with him. Robin must have been smoking back then. So anyway, just all the dominoes that fell.

That's crazy, yeah. I knew he had an Oprah birth story, but I didn't know how. Mad cow. And on this day in 2012, Trayvon Martin shot to death in Florida during an altercation with a neighborhood watch volunteer, George Zimmerman, who is not just a client. the president of the whole company. Yeah.

Yeah, that was a wild story. I think it just probably heard that he just seemed like such a bad guy, like after the fact. Trayvon or George Zimmerman? I don't know. The other one was a kid, but George Zimmerman. And then he was like trying to sell Civil War paintings or something. Do you ever that? No.

Yeah. Yeah. Famous wedding on this date, Tom Brady. to his son. To his son. To his son. So it's Feb 26.

What do we have this day in Dumb Zone history? Just one thing from the show in 2024 when Dan said he wrote in his diary venting about one of his program directors in Cleveland.

And I did not peg you as a diary guy. Well, let me say something before he answers. At some point, we frankly, we took it from gay culture like they took the rainbow because the idea of having a diary sounds gay

but if you call it a journal which it is then everyone's like oh that's a healthy yeah I'm surprised I didn't say journal just cool thing to do you wrote down your thoughts there's no difference right diary is for a teen girl yeah nine year old girl but now everyone's like oh journal right down oh here's Johnny Cash's journals that's his diary you just don't want to say it

dear diary it's the same right I did find it helped me vent out to my... Whatever. I was having a very tough time. I hated this person. I had to work there because I did not have another mean of making money. And so I would write down your notes. Yeah, that's gay.

Whatever. Well, whatever, but I'm just saying... I've done lots of gay stuff. I don't know how you feel about this. And one time, T.C. and I were sitting out front in our house. We used to have this, like, nasty little house. But it was in a really nice neighborhood. worth a lot and the guy who owned it was wealthy he didn't live there or in town at all and he

came back one time and he was super drunk out front and he had done very well for himself and he said a lot of stuff he made us listen to him for hours smoking cigarettes but one of the things he said was like you got to write down all your goals and he's like I don't mean like be successful he's like you need to start writing down what it looks like for you to succeed like write down specific goals you have. This is the rich guy who owned your house? Yeah, but he seemed like a fuck up. But he obviously clearly had made a lot of money in all sorts of different manners,

and he was just kind of a wild guy. And he's like, you know, they say that there's evidence that if you write down goals and write down how you want to achieve them, like that's way, and I started doing it. I don't know. Like, I've heard other people say it. Writing things down is good for you. What'd you have down? Become famous podcast host?

To add Connie Roso and Friscoe. Frisco one day. As long as it's the star location. Right. But I think if you're going through good times, bad times, just understanding life, write stuff down. You're going to feel better. At the risk of making TC incredibly horny, I have a diary from my time and basic training. Oh, my God.

Only that time. I will buy the rights. I would rather watch that than Friscoe King. And I've seen it with my life. Buy the rights. That's great. The right to this screenplay. I've seen it within the last month,

so I know it's still there exactly where it is. Everyone should do that at some point in your life or periodically, whatever. Look at how Blake is disgusting. No, no, no, I'm just waiting. The idea of having an emotion and writing it down. I have something to add. Just wait in my turn. If I see my wife's journal, I know I'm about to get in trouble.

Oh, because it's been out. She's not writing good shit in there. Right. Last night was amazing. Blake was really nice. Can't believe you. in there. He listened and I came. I'm telling me,

and I told her, like, if we die in a fire whatever they find her journals, they're just going to think I was the worst human being alive. I know. Because all of it's like, oh, we're not connecting. Oh, he ignored me. It's just all the bad stuff. If you see your wife's journal, you're about to get in trouble. That's a good point. That's a really good point. Now, this

podcast you do, Mike, do you guys want subscribers or no? Yes to that question. Because I think a reading of the journal. I mean, I'll quadruple subscribe. Dude, no, but this is kind of like the Jeff Garland Larry Stash thing and your fantasy hockey folder. I have a bunch of stuff, like some of it's on Google Doc.

Like, oh, there's my notes to my future myself, but also my kids or what. I don't really want any of you guys having my email password. Yeah. You may be the only one. Maybe him, T.C. But, like, I can't, if I die, nobody's ever going to see any of that stuff. Yeah, you got to get, yeah, you got to give the pastor to somebody. To what end?

Or I get one of those little plastic locks for your diary on the front. Yeah. Because then no one. My daughter has one. No one will ever get in that. Right. So that did inspire you to write something down, that guy telling you? Yes.

Okay. That guy that day, he was very memorable. He was a character. Do you remember it? He was a character. That was he saying it. I didn't write anything down. No, I once found, I was at your house, and I found that note, it was your handwriting.

It said, do not allow rats to run out from underneath the pizza box in my bedroom. And then I just, I failed. I failed terribly. Yeah, I had one rule. It was in his laundry. And it was not a mouse. That was a rat. There was a whole family.

In your laundry basket? There was no basket. There was just a quarter or a third of the room is just a, you know, normal. the half of the room where I threw stuff. They had found a boat. Safe hay and barber. That was one of about a hundred times I saw them scurry somewhere, but it was the most memorable one.

So wait. There wasn't really like a floor. I want to get in your mindset, though. So you would see them scurry, and then you would be like, okay, I won't clean the room. I don't think that it was to clean the room or not clean the room. Well, he wasn't going to mess up. His rats in the house.

Yeah, they were probably just... It would probably start with cleaning the room, no, no? Yeah, phase one. Well, then you would be able to see the rats somewhere they are. You're also forgetting... I'm not against this. As you guys know, I'll drink out of a bottle

that I went number one in, but this is also during his phase of counter cake. Oh, yeah, this was not... That was not in the top five of most harmful things I was doing. Countercake, he was making full cakes fucking every week. And he was putting them...

There's like a 22-year-old kid making a full kid. Yeah, well, we would have all the stuff out to make, like, weed brownies, and then he would just make cakes, ice them, sprinkle them, and then he would just leave them on the counter all week and just kind of pick off of it. Drive-by. It'd be like uncovered, because he had heard that you can't put a pan in the fridge. I had heard that.

He's like, there's some sort of poison. I'm like, man, I don't, I don't. Botulism is what I was worried about. I don't think that's true, but maybe. I've learned since then it's not. I've never thought about it. So he would keep cake sometimes, you know, half a cake, half a cake, chocolate, vanilla, red velvet era. There'd be cake on the counter all the time.

So not because it was his birthday. Well, no, and I don't. And I support that. You could just, okay. But so did, here's the problem. So did the rats. I don't think I've ever made a cake. He was into it.

He would get like the birthday fetties sprinkles and shit. Like we'd have them. We had cake all the time. But because of that, we also had bugs and rats. That's like, you know, pretty much the whole time. We had a plumbing issue. The guy that Jake was earlier describing had a lot going on great in his life, was not very responsive to the plumbing issue very quickly.

So there was a good month where we couldn't run the dishwasher. Yeah, that was a tough time. You know, the dishes piled up. I really don't even think I conceptually understood that you could just wash them by hand. There's not an option. Dishwashers doesn't run. Got to leave the dishes. And so at one point the sink was full up

And I'm not taking all this on me Everyone in the house Which is just me and Jake Moved to a plan of whatever the stuff became too dirty We just had a big cardboard box in the pantry Yeah We just got to stack the dirty dishes In the box

And eventually it got fixed Wrote wait for dishwasher on the box We just had a box of dirty dishes During the time where it worked, you had so you could have washed them in the sink. I mean, the plumbing issue was that any water in the sink just went below the sink. There were solutions. They were difficult. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we were not. All right. Yeah. Other birthdays today, we have Mark Fowal and Dugie Anderson. Wow. Wow. They share a birthday. So however old they are.

They were also a. Co-hosts of some kind of a show. I don't remember the name of it. The Ender. Was it the Ender? I think. I don't know, but I think Doug Anderson doesn't like me. But I'm not sure.

Oh, no. I just got that feeling. Maybe he's a big fan. Falaw will may hate you. Is it because he called him all those names? Falow might hate me. Probably does. But I would have either one of them on one of the streams.

Want to bring him in. Do a little draft talk. You want to book Doogie Anderson for the stream? Sure. Okay. You against that? Yes. Oh, okay. Rolando Blackman is 67.

Marshall Falk is 53. Rolando Blackman was the first, like, pro athlete I saw, I guess I'd say up close in person. And when I was a kid, we used to practice where the stars practiced, like in Los Kalinas. But that felt different because it was hockey. but the first time you ever see an NBA player dribble. I'll bet that's something. Well, it's like when you realize you can never do it. Like, he was dribbling the ball through the floor.

Do you know what I mean? Like the power of his dribble was just like, it was a different level. And I got to interview him and write a very long article about him for the athletic when they were doing like their best of DFW thing. It was on one of our trips, right? I interviewed him in Montana for like an hour and a half.

leave a trip to go do a phone interview with Rolando Blackmun. And he was into it too. It was so much fun. You guys know Vegas Mike, beloved by your audience. Yeah, yeah. He just will pop up in my life in wonderful and very random ways. And one time he's like, hey, do you want to hop on a call with Marshall Falk? And I was like, yeah, absolutely.

And it was just him and like a bunch of like the Manosphere guys that like subscribe to Mike's thing. like just asking questions to Marshall Falk and they're all like fixated on such weird stuff one of them big ones being height and one of the guys is like how are you able to do anything in life without being over six foot I'm like but I don't think it's really irrelevant

in this kind of running back you sort of want to be shifty and low to the ground yeah that's that's a weird world did you have anything for Marshall Falk I did ask Marshall Falk a couple questions I don't remember what they were. He loved him, though. He said good question, I'm sure.

I mean, if you're on the phone with Marshall Falk, you're like, I'm not going to be here again. Yeah. I got to take my shot. I think he got M-toot pretty bad. Oh, he did? I paid next to Marshall Falk. He was on the Bannysphere podcast.

Clearly, the guy had already run a foul of... And I ran in there because I saw him go in. Yeah. And I wanted to add him to the list of people I peed next to. How many inches do you think? I didn't look, but... Was it hard not to? That whole scenario crossed my mind, yeah.

but I did not look and it was not difficult. Olympic swimmer Jenny Thompson is 53. She's from Dallas, I believe, only because I had some kind of a run-in with her in Dayton. Her management emailed me later saying how unprofessional, just something about she didn't like it being on. And then I noted the address, because this happened and then a couple months later,

ended up going to this address, it was the Maple Avenue building. Oh, wow. Her management was there at Maple. Did you ever have a chance to patch things up? I never did. I went to the lunchroom every day looking for them. Maple Deli. Blake, who is this?

I'm going to give you a name. 68 years old today. Tim Kane. Who is that? I don't know. You? Yeah. political figure, presidential candidate,

Governor Minnesota. No, but you're close. That's Tim Walts. No. But Tim Kane was Hillary's running mate. Oh, yeah. All right. An election when Blake was in his 30s?

Yeah. Certainly squarely in your adult life. Tim Kaine was a VP candidate for one of the major parties. Oh, cool. I think he's currently a senator for Virginia. I know you know all the senators, so just got to go down the list. I hear good things about Virginia. Actor Greg German is 68.

He was Richard Fish on Allie McBeal. Blake, look up Bonnie Somerville is 52. Mona? Oh, you already know. Who? Mm-mm. Go on. Explain to Jake who it is.

Yeah, Mona from Friends. She dated Ross. He's just a tertiary friends. You know Bonnie Somerville? But you guys just focused on Tim Cain. Michael Bolton. How is he making it seem like we're the losers? How do they do this?

He's the one who sucks. I don't really know what Michael Bolton does. He knows. What does he do? He sings. What is it? It's for women. Is he Rick Roll?

No, that's Rick As well. He's got some big hit, doesn't he? He's got a bunch, presumably. His whole entire catalog is. Okay, but I know like, you pick. Who does Michael Bolt? I don't know. I can't name one song.

I don't care. Chuck Weppner is 87. It's like N.EG couldn't play the saxophone. Chuck Weppner is still alive. He's today still alive at 87. In 1975, Muhammad Ali defeated Chuck Weppner. With a technical knockout in the 15th round, this fight was in Richfield, Ohio, the home of the Cavaliers at the time. Probably about a 10-minute drive from the birthplace of LeBron.

Amazing. Richfield, Ohio. Weppner was a journeyman fighter. Akron's that close? Yeah, well, Richfield... It's halfway between. Yeah, Richfield is way closer to Akron than Cleveland. Weppner was a journeyman fighter.

You might call him a tomato can back in the day. He was known as a bleeder. He inspired Sylvester Stallone to make the Rocky films because he just hung with the champ. Okay. For 15 rounds. Never quit. And he was white and stuff.

And our dumbs on birthday today, Erica Badu, is 55. Happy birthday to her. She seems pretty great. She is great. What was Gregos thing? Her fruit hat? Yeah. Her big fruit hat.

She's the first person I ever heard used the word woke back in the day. Keep that third eye open. I think she owns a lot of stuff around. You'd be a surprise to learn how much around White Rock she owns. I believe, yeah. I heard of a house that went up for sale. And before it's like hitting the listing, the Badu people kind of give it a look because everyone around their nose.

Have you ever thought of the dominoes that would have to fall, just the things that would fall into place for me and Erica Badu to be a power couple in Dallas? I thought about it yesterday. First thing. No, I was. Because I would be on board with that. Yeah. Yeah, and I don't see why she wouldn't.

You know, they do the, you know, you have a coach's coach or a hard-ass, then you want a players coach after that. She was with Andre Thet 3,000. Okay. He's one of the coolest guys alive. So if she wanted to sort of settle down. And I got my brown shoes. I could show her.

And your glasses. My new glasses. Yeah. What if she did just like have all of his quirky opinions? Like they just met. each other and she's like, well, you obviously take your shoes off here. God. Wait, really?

His are already off? She's like, oh, I wish I had more to offer you for lunch. I just have salmon and broccoli. Fresh out the microwave. I was just listening to an audio book. It's not really reading, though. All right. Born on the Stay and Now Dead.

You got Johnny Cash. Oh, okay. And John Harvey Kellogg. Why do these people keep coming up? There's a whole bunch of. The other day it was like his brother's birthday. Or post. John is the guy that was real, like he was, first of all, a health nut.

So he's very into, like, okay, that's great. All the kinds of health that they had back in the day. Right. Real also high on... Good diet, good genes. Segregation and eugenics, yes. He thought we could, you know. No one stops at the fun part.

Dead on the Stay Still Dead, you got Bill Hicks. Dude. Tell you. Your guy? Yeah, I think it holds up. I popped on Info Wars. It seems like he's thriving. No, that's Alex Jones.

They are, in fact, a different person. They do look very similar. They are both Texas base. Bill Hicks is a guy who looked 55 when he died, but I think he was like 37 or 38. But he is a top five comedian for me. You never sampled. You died on this day at the age of 32.

32. 32? Dude, I mean, you know what he looks like. Look at him. It looks 50 to you? I mean, it's the bald thing. Bald and cigarettes. It comes back around because Mike looks 32 now.

Thank you. That's right. Also dead on this day, you have, who's this, Blake? Joseph Wapner. I don't know. Judge Joseph Wapner. Senator. Yeah.

You played Ross. David Schwimmer. I just didn't know if you have any knowledge of the people's court. Judge Wapner. There would be no Judge Judy. And her great ass without... He got a great ass. I know the people's court.

I guess I didn't know the judge's name. Yeah. Judge Wapner. Bump, bump, bump. And that's what happened. You do know it. On this day in history. Yeah, that's great.

What was his bailiff's orientation? Closing remarks brought us by Franco and Frankel. Speaking of bailiffs. White? Franco and Franco. Did you say they're opposite? Usually you'll get an opposite gender and a different race from the bailiff and the judge.

A little sassy black lady if it's a... Yeah, for sure. Judge Wapner. I've seen it. I've seen it. You know who else has seen it? Because they've seen it all. The Frankles.

Yes, Franco and Franco. You're familiar with them, Mike Soroy. I am. All you need is Trace. You should have called him when your car caught on fire that one.

That was a long time ago. They were probably still in school. You almost had to call them today. Yeah. After the bag, lady. Oh, that's right. What if you got in that?

That would have been great. I go around throwing, I throw business cards at people like I'm Gambit the X-Man. When I see them driving recklessly. Anyway, Frankl, Frankl, 214 or 8-17,

then dial all threes. Come on, Do it for us. Wreck your car. Getting an accident and get mangled enough that you actually have to, yeah, have to consult your personal injury attorney. That is Frankel and Frankel, 214, all threes. Trucks with names on them.

That's what we're looking for. Closing remarks. Closing remarks, yeah. Highlights they're running on the side of the Ford Center right now is Joe Milton having some real good throws and training camp. He threw it into the net. He threw it right into the net. Yeah, I've been watching that video.

Surely there's something. These guys are we not allowed to put Cowboys Great? No, there hasn't been. I was looking for them. Yeah, yeah. Emmett Smith surely did something at some point, right? They should just run T.O. Getting trucked by George Teague over and over.

That is what they should have always on there. That kicker wants to make so much money. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Anyway, what do we got on the old Cirque show? By the way, Trey is killing it. Trey's doing it very well. I like Trey. I have a gummy thought of pizza thing for you.

I'll tell you this. You're still on the air? I just feel like we've got out of his shell Trey bar. Trey is, he's confident now. He's kind of cool. He's doing very well. I have a pizza gummy thought we can end with. I was thinking where would the pepperoni industry be without pizza?

What else do you have pepperoni on? but pepperoni's on one in three pizzas eaten in the United States. Yeah, it's really, stands alone on that. Over 300 tons of pepperoni consumed daily in the United States. There was no such thing as pizza. You eat sausage in many, many other forms. Tons. Chicken.

But pepperon, like every kid, pepperoni. What is pepperoni? It's a dried, cured sausage. It was created in America to preserve the sausage, I guess. Created in America. Yeah, pepperoni was. invented in America. Okay, what about salami?

That's all, I think. Is it pepperoni? From the motherland? Yeah, but it's all related. Yeah, the curing and to make it pepperoni and the cupping of the pepperoni is all. I swear in college I knew a guy that would carry around like a big fat thing and then cut.

So I... Was that pepperoni or is that salon? What is he? Summer sauce. I do. I keep that at the house. I think it's very bad for you from a sodium standpoint, but I keep like sliced

and sort of a little shakouterie type Yeah. I just walked by and grab a couple pepperonies. Like, could you imagine a cylinder of pepperoni? Like, obviously, that's how it was at some point, but just take a big bite out of a big cylinder. Yeah, that seems disgusting. Oh, I thought you meant the cylinder like which potato chip has the can. Just a pringle? Yeah, like you just pull a piece.

Pepperoni pringles, that's a great idea. Yeah. If, for some reason, pizza was forced to go away, but like, you have to. been used to it, would you work pepperoni in somewhere else? Pepperoni chips. I've had this. No, I don't think you would. You barely know that pepperoni exists.

Would you add, would bacon take a hit because now Wendy's has the double pepperoni cheeseburger? The pepperoni nater. Nater, yeah. It's kind of odd though. There's nothing else really that it, I mean, maybe on a charcutory board sometimes, but it's generally not just pepperoni. Yeah.

You ever buy your dog the treat? Piperoni? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course. Pomeroni's amazing. I want somebody to just order a pepperoni sandwich. Let's do pepperoni and mayo.

Yeah. All right. Well, I think we could do that. You have the pepperoni. You do pizza. I see them. They're everywhere. Like, why does the Caesar salad, they will say you could have, you know, salmon on it?

They never say you could throw some pepperoni in there. Sure. Well, pepperoni would be so weird. Ambassador for pepperoni. They've got a bunch of the back. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Just sprinkle on.

I want 10 or 15. Pieces of pepperoni in it. All right. They've never had anyone ask that at any of the locations. And that sounds weird to us, too. Why is it weird? And for the non-meaters, we do have fake sausage. You are beyond pepperoni.

I want a beyond pepperoni. All right. This is a great gummy thought. Thank you. Hopefully we'll get our promo code working some time. Yeah, it will be all right. Hey, thanks everyone for coming out. It's been a good time.

That's right. We've got to go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video.