The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 3-5-26 | Jon Machota fresh off the bus with Jerry and fake baby follow-up
Episode Date: March 5, 2026Get every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneBlake provides an important update in his Angelo situation, Jon Machota joins us after recently joi...ning Jerry Jones on the bus from the NFL combine, and Viewer Mail is centered on the fake baby Dan saw at the gym (00:00) - Open: An Angelo update (18:33) - Jon Machota: On the bus with Jerry Jones (46:17) - Sports: NFL nuggets (56:42) - Big Thursday Viewer Mail Bag (01:36:49) - News: Teixeira to Congress (01:53:24) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, long-time professional broadcaster.
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Now, on to today's program.
The dums of dums of dums.
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I'm casting live to tape today, men's health studio in downtown Dallas, gameday.com.
We are powered by game day men's health.
I am Dan McDowell.
I'm Jake Kemp.
I'm Blake Jones.
We have Foodie CK here as well
That is Clayton
It's the Fox 4 building
So that means all the Fox 4 stuff is in here
Like you know
Hage Ellenberger
Saw her in the hall
She showed
She at least played recognition
She doesn't know who you are
No chance
She knows exactly who I am
No
No chance
She feels my Riz
But the security guard
Now they know
I don't know if he
knows who I am, but he did greet me with a hey boss.
Yeah.
You know what he gave me the other day?
Which made me feel so small.
No.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Except a boss.
It'll feel good.
It was better than Big Dog.
At the gym.
That's like insinuate.
Okay.
Old man.
Need a little help over there?
Little guy.
Maybe try these rubber weights.
Chevy.
Instead.
No, the other day I was wearing the little brace they gave me for my wrist, broke my wrist, had a little surgery.
And he gave me, what I think is a Mount Rushmore dad joke.
I was walking in, he saw the wrist and said, what happened to the other guy?
Yeah, yeah, that's great.
Hell yeah.
I was off and flying, man.
So we have a lot on today's show.
We have John Machota.
From The Athletic.
We're going to talk Cowboys.
He was on the bus with Jerry.
From the bus.
See what he has to say.
We have viewer mail.
We have gummy thoughts.
We have the Uge, which is like the news and stuff.
We have some stories that I had teased earlier in the week, like a mini TiVo or the story of my mom's first period.
But I can't get to any of these things because Jake kind of, excuse me, Blake kind of called for the ball before you even walked in, Jake.
Blake's like, hey, I kind of got something.
Okay.
Although I do want to say one thing.
Copy and paste all this to Friday.
Did vote the other day.
I only voted in the one that I watched the commercials for.
So all the other candidates, I just kind of just didn't even vote.
Because I wanted to let that to, let's let it, I'm sure some informed people have decided who's the best candidate in these things.
Leave it to them.
I'm not going to even vote at all.
Is that okay?
Of course.
As a civic duty?
Okay.
It feels wrong to just be like, oh, that guy.
name is cool.
So I decided to let that.
But I did vote as a Democrat,
which apparently where I live,
I swear to God, the Republican line was,
it was like six flags.
They have all the back and forth row thing.
And then they were like, oh, go right in there.
I just walked right in.
I was voting within two minutes.
Dude, I got Dan's text.
I was a Democrat line.
as I was walking up to the rec center.
And I swear that I've voted in more than just a couple primaries.
I could be wrong.
But last time was the first time I remember it being kind of weird based on the setup.
And last time they had us enter the building and go into two separate rooms.
So that was like, okay, no big deal, right?
You can definitely see that there's a line to get into one room,
but you're not in the same room when you vote.
This time, there's a line down the stairs.
out the building, down the sidewalk.
I walked up. I got my phone on my hand. I see Dan's text. I'm like, what's that about?
I'm in the back of the line. And a lady comes out, Democrats. She's 100 yards away.
Yeah. And I'm like, me? It's just me. And I passed the entire line.
And I don't know about you.
150, 200 people who are all staring at me.
It felt exactly like being in the lunchroom or something and you drop something, you know.
Hadn't had that feeling in a long time.
Walk all the way to the front.
The only two people in front of me are like an old teacher and a guy who's maybe a guy, you know.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And I'm third in line.
Oh, my damn, dude.
It's the political fast pass.
It was so funny.
There was no, you know, a 50-year-old white man.
White man who goes to game day men, like not a, you know, barely in shape, but, you know, thanks to game day men's health.
Guy who looks like me.
You present hetero.
Every other guy that looked like me was standing over there looking at me, walk by.
Yeah.
So.
There was some women, I can tell I kind of scoffing at me.
But I did want to note this, because I know you didn't go vote.
You probably didn't.
Right? It would have taken you two hours.
See where I slotted them.
Anyway, it also doesn't matter.
Hell yeah, believe.
That's also the truth.
So big long receipt.
It was like I was at CVS, they give you, to show you that you're voting and stuff.
And they go, here, we're going to put this stamp on it.
This stamp, if I take this receipt, did they tell you this?
Yeah, also the first time.
you can get into the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
See, now Blake,
Adiel is interested.
He's like,
oh,
you take Brooks.
I must have never voted in a primary before because I've never felt this.
So,
yeah,
keep that on the possibility.
Yeah,
maybe do a show.
We might do some shows out there.
Anyway,
sorry, Blake.
I didn't,
I took some of your time away.
Please.
No,
I hope this pays off.
Blake's a little promo here or talk.
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Yes, they do work with other podcasts, so be specific.
So on Tuesday, I dressed up in front of you gentlemen, not for last call with Steve
Novi-L-L-O, but because the Argyle, Lady Eagles were playing in the state semifinals on Tuesday night.
I did not wear the sport coat to the game, but it was a big one over there in which they won.
So they advanced to the state championship game on Saturday.
So I will drive down to San Antonio Saturday morning, do the game comeback Saturday evening.
Wow, what a long day.
It is, but with the...
Afternoon game?
It's at 1 o'clock.
Okay.
So with the boys at home, it's just easier if I'm there overnight, get him up and going,
get back for bedtime.
This is just how it has to be.
Nice.
So we'll get to that this weekend.
But I also told you, gentlemen, that Angelo's birthday is on Saturday.
Excuse me, his birthday party is Saturday.
So when I find out this news that I will be unavailable, I shoot a text to our good friend
Angelo, the homeless guy.
that I've been funding $100 for almost a year now.
And he was pretty upset.
No.
So much so that he sent me this text.
When I see you, you can take back your card.
I don't need your money.
No.
Are you telling me Angelo might be a little less than emotionally stable?
Angelo broke up with me.
No.
Over the birthday?
Yeah.
So a little background.
I found out a few months ago that he's got another benefactor.
Sure.
This guy's name is Grayson.
I think I can picture him in my head without even meeting him based on the circumstances.
Apparently, Grayson has been out of town in February.
Angelo's birthday is on, I think, the second of February.
So this is a month late.
Turns out Grayson has been out of town for whatever for a month.
We had to push it off for Grayson.
Because Angelo was trying to connect us two together for some reason.
So he had kept pushing his birthday party back and back and back and back.
And it was going to be March 7th.
That's the day.
I think the issue here...
I don't even know what to say it.
You ever be your wife like she really wants you to meet her friends or whatever?
You're the girl you're dating?
When you're like, do we need to right now or whatever?
Yeah, I thought it might just be good.
My wife wants me to meet her cousin and have dinner with him.
I was intrigued to meet this other person and I was just more interested in the scenario that
would play out of these,
Grayson and I sitting at a table with Angelo.
I'm very interesting.
Oh, yeah.
I don't want to talk to him or really talk to Angelo any more than I have to,
but I wanted to at least sit at the table and feel what it was like.
So he had built this up in his head, I guess,
that we were going to all get together on the seventh.
And then when I told him I couldn't make it,
that kind of sent him spiraling.
And then he asked me why I didn't tell him about this on Monday when we saw each other in person.
I had to explain to him, look, I didn't find out whatever.
This sent him off.
He called me several times.
I have a page full of text messages.
He started to fly off the handle.
And his last message to me that on that day was you can take your card back.
And so from the very beginning, I've been wondering how is this going...
How was it when you saw on Monday?
It was just giving him a card.
It was normal.
He had his card stolen quotation marks for like the fifth time.
And so I've had to order replacement.
Venmo cards multiple, multiple times.
One time I had to call someone at Venmo and say, I don't have a, I just had to explain
the situation.
It's a, it's just, can I just get a new card, please?
So from the very beginning, I've wondered how this is going to end, because I've never
pictured it going well.
But I am now seizing, I'm seizing this chance to end it.
Because since then, he's backtracked.
He said, oh, we can move the party to another day.
You know, I'm sorry, I apologize.
But he gave you an out.
He gave me an out and I'm taking it.
Now, what does that look like?
You just go back up to the, you just reply to the text 10 before and you're like, this is the one I'm working with?
Well, okay, so the- Boy, this is the Micah Parsons thing all over again.
The real reason I'm ending this is this has not been easy for me either.
Well, no, I don't think it's, it was never going to be easy for you.
This is not the fun part of this experiment, but it's, you.
It is like you're doing good.
So that's never going to be easy for you.
That's how it started.
I thought I was doing something good.
But now I'm in a way responsible for this homeless man.
And when he loses his card or there's no money on the card or he needs additional money that the card doesn't have, it's now like he's become my responsibility.
And in a weird way, I kind of thought I had the power in the relationship.
That's not accurate to him because I'm just the deliver.
of this money. It's his money. And so when he is caught in a situation where there's no money
on the card or he doesn't have the card and he needs food, it's upon me to provide for him.
And he's mad at you if you don't. Yes. And so naturally I want to say F this guy. But
I guess maybe having children has created this. I have patience for this person in this situation.
But since this has begun, it's just been a non-stop vicious.
cycle of I it should be a Christianly duty to provide for this homeless man in need who agitates
me to no end but what is I don't know what does Jesus tell you to do well he's being an asshole
but what is charity all about and this has been the battle in my head constantly for nine months
yeah and it's not a good deed anymore it's a burden which then makes me feel bad it can be both
it's non-stop and so I don't have a problem with
giving him money, I just have a problem with how this makes me feel.
And that's fair too.
I am bowing out.
How is this going to go?
I don't know, because when I first told him that I couldn't make it, I said, I'm sorry,
I can't make it this weekend.
Let's get together on the 14th.
And he went off, whatever.
Now he wants to meet again on the 14th.
And I thought, maybe I'll tell him, like, look, you've said you're good.
You don't want any of my money anymore.
shut down the card. I'll meet up with you for your birthday, and then we'll just go our separate ways.
Ooh, one last.
One last.
Romp in the hay.
Sure.
Whatever you want to call it.
I'd be careful.
And that's what my wife told me.
Yeah, yeah.
He thinks this is the last thing.
I'd just be careful in general.
But I'm thinking if Grayson is there, maybe he'll.
How about you just, if you are to bow out, you should probably just, you don't have to go meet and get the card.
Just let the card run out.
No, no, I told them because I don't know.
I have a short fuse at times, and this really set me off in the moment.
And he said, you can have the card back or whatever.
And I said, no, I locked it on my end.
It's good.
Just throw it away.
And so the card's locked.
He can't use it anymore.
Oh, wow.
I don't need to meet up for the card.
But I'm just trying to find the most civil way to end this, I guess, possible.
How do you end a relationship with a homeless man?
It's fascinating.
He ended it for you, Blake.
Yeah, but you got it to proceed.
He's going to want you to, you know, of course, receive that with some...
It's like you asking Jake if he can have one beer.
Like, you're going to have one more interaction with him,
and it's going to be right back into it.
I could see that happening, too.
Yeah.
No, because, yeah, I have a hard time...
It shows up wearing something extra homelessness.
I have a hard time saying no.
I mean, that's a little bit why I'm in this situation.
But I don't know, just the way he's acting now, like, I would feel bad ending it,
just cutting off all contact right now, which is probably what I need to do.
So I'm trying to find a very diplomatic way to end this,
but I'm afraid there's no answer for this.
All he really had to say was,
congrats on the big win for the Lady Eagles.
See, that's where this all went south is because it was over the Eagles.
If this was over something else, Blake couldn't be there.
Blake wouldn't have dug in this hard.
Right.
But if you're going to not recognize how difficult it is to get to San Antonio,
So, yeah, that's my situation.
It's still ongoing.
I think I need to just cut it off.
I predict that you won't break up.
No, I have.
This is an on-again, off-again relationship.
I have to.
This takes me back to high school.
Like, we've already started, we talked about breaking up.
Oh, yeah.
That's the hardest parts bringing it up.
Look, we did it.
Let's move on.
Yeah, but just like high school, or at least for me,
passive aggressive guy, he did it.
He opened it up.
Right.
And it's like, hey, that's not, it's actually not on me now.
Yeah.
Yeah, he started it.
He wants me back.
It kind of sucks.
It would be disappointing if you never met Grayson, though.
That's probably the one thing keeping you in there, right?
It'd be interesting to meet him.
I guess, but then do I show up and he's condescending like, oh, you couldn't take the heat, could you?
You're bowing out.
Yeah, you don't understand the homeless guy and his mental...
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That was terrible.
Here's John Machota from the athletic.
Hello, John.
It's funny, Dan, because I'm looking over your shoulder and you got that, it looks like a Wheaties box almost that says Olympic.
And I don't even remember that full story, but throughout this entire Winter Olympics, almost every time I hear the word Olympics, I think of that Olympic story and just how hard you were laughing about that.
And I don't even remember the original story of what it was all about.
about. But I just thought it was like the funniest thing. And now that word is just stuck in my
head for it and probably will continue all the way through the summer Olympics. That's good.
If I can recall, it was some kind of an Olympic organizer, right? One of the, yeah, yeah. He was talking
some one male member was talking about a female member. Yes. And he referred to her as the Olympic.
That was good stuff. So you were on the bus, the legendary. Okay, first of all, just going to cover the
Cowboys at the Combine.
Is that cool?
Is it a huge waste of time?
Are you like, I'm only here because all the other cowboy beatwriters are here.
None of us learn anything.
Well, no.
I mean, since joining the athletic, that's like the one time when all the NFL writers
are together.
And so the Monday we get there, it's a lot of meetings and stuff through the athletic
with just going over things that we like that we did over the,
previous season and things that we're going to do going forward. And so there's a lot of people
that I just don't normally get to see at all other than on a Zoom or through Slack. And so that
I would be going there regardless just for that. But the Jerry bus part, which is usually Friday
or Saturday at the very end of the week, you know, most other writers are gone by like Wednesday
night, Thursday night. But we stay, most of us that cover the Cowboys until Saturday, just because
we don't know when Jerry will have the bus. And we didn't even have it last year. Um,
We thought, oh, Jerry always does this.
Well, he'll have it.
And then Friday goes by and we don't get him.
And then so Todd Archer and I waited him out at the hotel that they usually stay at and probably sat around for five or six hours and we're like, as long as Jerry walks out, we'll get him.
And he walked out and he told us he didn't want to talk.
I was like, I didn't even know who this person was.
I was like, where is this a fake Jerry?
Like, where is the real Jerry Jones?
Like I've never seen him turn anybody down.
It was just me and Todd too.
It wasn't like we were going to beat him down with a bunch of, you know, oil and drilling questions or things about, you know, anything.
litigation that he had going on family-wise in the court system or anything.
We were just going to ask him a few Cowboys questions, and he wanted really no part of that.
And so I was like, all right, well, maybe the bus is done.
And then this year when we get out there, it was very touch and go on if he was even going to be
there.
And it sounds like he didn't get in until Thursday night.
And then Friday, we didn't know until probably about 3 o'clock that, A, B, at the hotel,
around 6.6.30, Jerry's going to talk on the bus.
And then so we got on the bus around.
around 6, 45, 7 o'clock.
And we're thinking that, hey, he's got to, he's got to go then to the typical dinner.
He takes the scouts to and the coaches that are there, especially with a new coaching staff.
We knew he's going to do that.
So we're like, we probably got like 20 minutes.
And he answered the first couple of questions about George Pickens and like five, six minutes it took.
And so I knew at that point it would go longer than that and ended up going an hour.
And so just to be honest with you, I've said this a lot in the last week.
My three favorite things about covering the Cowboys are I love covering the games more than anything.
The training camp being out in California when it's hot as balls here in Texas.
And then it's the Jerry Bus.
And that's because nobody else gets to do something like that in the NFL.
So the Jerry Bus is great for you and all the writers gives you so much content for weeks.
And it's great for us, too.
Same thing.
Hell, content for years.
Because we've referred back to the bus.
Remember when he said this about for agents?
But this year he's saying this because they don't seem to have a Ravens-like or Steelers-like just philosophy of this is the way we do things.
It's always this is the way we do things now because I've recently been through a situation where it didn't work out.
So now we're doing it this way.
I say all that just to say, do we actually ever learn anything substantive from the bus or does it all just?
feed what we love is just we love cowboys talk and you know it gets clicks that's a good question
because why you're why you're asking them i'm trying to think of what has been the most like
important thing that's been set on there over the years and i i do think there's a lot of
b sing you know you know this year saying that no we need we need guys that can contribute right
away. So we can't have any redshirt guys that might be out because of injuries or off the field
things. We need guys that can contribute right away. And while that sounds different, because obviously
the Cowboys have targeted that, particularly in the second round, that still doesn't make me go 100%.
Well, you can take these guys off the board. They won't draft them. I mean, it's Jerry Jones.
And so because of that, that's the thing about these bus things is that even if that was the only
time we talked to them, obviously we get them all throughout the season and in the off season. But if that
was the only time. It's such a great microcosm of how Jerry Jones is, is that you talk to him
on that bus for an hour, and he'll give you enough to take your article, whatever you want to talk
about, in whatever direction you want. He leaves you enough for almost every argument to be like,
well, he said this. Yeah, I know, but if you go to the 37 minute mark, he also said this,
which means that that couldn't be like that. So he talks in those riddles, which makes, you know,
it easy for people to make fun of him and act like, well, he doesn't know ever what he's talking about
and things like that. Now, he's doing that on purpose because he wants to give you as much
possible content. I think the spin is incredible on different things. One is, you said he
started out talking about George Pickens. And the spin is that actually getting a franchise
tag is quite the honor that we have bestowed upon you. I thought that was wonderful. It was
masterful. It was good. And he can certainly do that in this case because that's the biggest
difference to me between George Pickens and then what happened last year with Micah Parsons.
They have the same agent so people make those comparisons, but they're just such different people.
Jerry says that on the bus about Micah Parsons. There's a chance Micah tweets something an hour
later or does his own podcast. George Pickens isn't going to say anything about how that conversation
win or anything like that. He's just, he's not really into a bunch of media attention like that.
He might occasionally post something on, on social media here or there, but he's not really going to
do that back and forth stuff like Micah would. And, you know, almost in a way, in his own way,
go toe to toe with Jerry like Micah would. And so Jerry can say all that stuff and say,
hey, it was a great conversation. And George was thrilled that he's going to be a cowboy. And,
you know, everything's great when in all reality, I don't know how anybody would rather have one year,
$27 million or four years, $35 million per season, which he probably could get on the open market.
One more spin thing that I thought is cool that we've been talking about is just that I've never heard this one before.
And I heard you guys mention it too on the one-star Cowboys podcast.
It's probably the only Cowboys podcast I listen to.
The new spin on first round picks, it is cool to have a couple of.
but you know they make more money than second round picks.
It's a new way.
So we're going to try and spend money in free agency.
But if we don't, we have this to fall back on like, hey, we did give George Pickens the franchise.
That's a lot of money.
And we're paying two first round picks.
Get off our ass.
Salaries that are predetermined, which is a new one.
I'd never heard anybody brag about that before.
Yeah, you know what's interesting to me about that is that I'm sure there's other people you can put in this conversation.
but to me, I don't know that there's someone that has had a bigger impact on the NFL's growth and popularity.
If you're just talking about one individual, then Jerry Jones.
Like you go back to the 90s, the TV deals, everything pushing it out.
Like so that, I mean, everywhere you look, offseason, there's like no downtime.
It's like they want the NFL to basically be 365 days a year.
And I don't know that anybody has ever pushed for that or embody it themselves as much as Jerry Jones.
And in him doing that, everyone knows way more than they ever.
have ever known before.
Like the NFL is such a, like there's sites that just focus on the salary cap.
And so I think as he gets older, I think there's a little bit of a disconnect.
He does keep up with everything that's going on.
He does get clips and everything sent to him.
I know he gets printouts of everything, the Cowboys writers tweet and things like that.
And so he is up on this stuff.
But I do wonder if he really understands the level of like what you guys just said there,
where it's like, you do know that we know these numbers.
And we know that these numbers for these draft picks are nowhere near you spending big and free agency on, let's say like a Jalen Phillips.
It's not even in the same ballpark.
And so I do think there's a little bit with him where I don't think he fully understands how much everyone on the outside knows about the NFL nowadays.
Wow, that's really interesting.
I've never thought about that, right?
And you don't need to know.
I mean, because I've always been kind of the analytics dork and like, oh, there's this website you can pay for and this and that.
And, you know, now PFF, the coaches will use that.
and maybe have some level of respect for it.
But I bet Jerry just thinks it's all bullshit.
It's just like, you know, you can look something up on a website.
Cool.
That's interesting.
Yeah, I do wonder about that too because, I mean, I obviously know nothing about, you know,
oil and gas drilling.
But it always makes me wonder, okay, he's got to be using stats for that stuff.
There's no way he's just still doing the wildcatting.
Like, just buy this land over here.
Let's just give it a try.
Like, he has to, there has to be so much statistical.
information that's put on his desk that he has to believe in some of it.
That's interesting.
I was thinking when you guys were talking about the Pickens thing,
you know,
DAC was at some one of his off-season engagements,
a children's charity thing.
He's asked about it.
He gives a pretty generic comment.
People get upset about it because people get upset about just about anything
Dak says,
especially as it pertains to money.
But it just made me think, you know,
he had to be careful what he said about Micah, too.
It wasn't just Jerry or whoever.
Now that we're a year removed from this,
can you give your perspective on the divide
or what the relationship was like?
It does feel like now that we're a year out or whatever,
we can talk about like the Micah and the debt,
not the Micah side and the Dak side,
but it did feel like Dak was tolerating Micah,
not to say he wouldn't want him here,
but was tolerating him rather than, you know,
building a team with him.
It's the way it's seen from the outside.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
I feel like as I get older, I fight against don't be this old crumagion about things.
But like I just see the younger generation coming in the locker room.
And I look at a guy like Dak who's like, you know, early 30s.
And he seems like he's so old compared to these guys just because of just how things are changed and how things are different.
And just being around Dak since 2016, I've just seen how he's.
obviously had to mature in a ton of ways from leadership on the field, family life, all of that.
He's got so much on his plate to where, like, I just don't know how he connects with a lot of
the younger guys. And while I think that, I don't think there was like a disconnect between him
and Micah, I think it was more so I'm going to let him do it, say what he wants. That's fine.
But I've been here for a while. I'm kind of the old head. Like, it's not changing anything the
way I go about my business. I think maybe it would be a little bit different if Micah was on
but it was kind of like, hey, he's a special defensive player.
You know, great, do your thing.
I've always wondered just seeing some things behind the scenes how much Micah and
DeMarcus Lawrence got along, which then that played out on social media.
And if you go back to last season, you would have thought, well, that's also why they
weren't that interest in bringing back to Marcus Lawrence.
It was the handing of, you know, we're passing the baton to you, Micah.
This is officially your defense now.
Only then later on trade Micah, too.
and now you don't have either of these guys.
And so I would think there'd be more there
than there ever was between DAC and Micah.
Yeah, part of that too was the,
we're getting rid of him because we're going to pay you,
and that means you're now a leader.
Because they do that whenever they pay someone, right?
Zeke has been, oh, man, that guy's been,
he goes into the quarterback meetings.
They always seem to, it's a very vague, subjective thing,
but we need you now to be a leader because I am now paying you
all this money.
And sometimes you're just not a leader.
Yeah, I think the problem or the thing you run into with Micah is that, you know,
when you go the other side of the ball and whoever that is that got paid,
we'll say Zeke or Des Bryant or C.D. Lam,
if they didn't want to be like the leader type,
they really wouldn't have to because they were always around Romo or DAC.
They were always going to take that mantle.
Whereas the defense really hasn't had that.
And, I mean, just in my 15 years covering the team,
Like, Dan, when you said earlier about the Ravens, like I just think of, you know, you're talking about like a Ravens or Steelers or some of these organizations like, heck, even the Packers to a certain extent where Niners, where you can hear them say, we want to be the best defense in the NFL.
Has that ever been said about the Dallas Cowboys?
Is there anybody in the organization that's ever said that's why I've always, that's the other comparison why I don't put Micah and George in the same category either because you had one of, if not the best defensive players in the game and you traded them away.
There was no, like, hey, you know what?
Maybe we build the best defense in football.
Maybe we do that.
And then we have DAC on offense.
And maybe the offense isn't great.
But it's like, it's just hard to argue against they think that offense also sells tickets.
And that's another reason why I don't think George Pickens is going anywhere.
Like, first, I think Micah Parsons is a more valuable football player than George Pickens.
But to the Dallas Cowboys, it might be the opposite.
Boy, that's another spin.
And it's not a new one, really.
But to hear it so overtly for Jerry Jones to say, you know, the defense is bad because DAC makes all that money.
And I would just like to think, like, would the chiefs ever dream of doing that?
You know, when there is cries about, how come this and that on the team?
They never say, yeah, well, because we got to pay this guy.
is that only because Jerry is still incensed,
number one, that he's the highest paid quarterback,
and number two, that he knows he's nowhere near the best quarterback.
Like, if you have Mahomes, you're like,
you're never going to blame Mahomes because he's always, he's Mahomes.
But if you're Dak, and I had these guys bend me over to these agents,
you're going to, I mean, he's held on to this for years.
And I mean, Dak played it great.
and his agent obviously knocked out of the park, both contracts.
So he got everything that he could want, and that's great for Dak.
But I could see Jerry on his side of it that's still bothering him to this day.
And the other part that adds in there is I thought everybody, including his agent and everybody
in his side said, well, yeah, you give him 60 because it just resets the market.
And then the next guy gets more and the next guy gets more.
Well, the next guy and the next guy and the next guy, including guys that have gone to the
Super Bowl have come up for contracts and haven't even gotten within 5 million per year of DAC.
And so I find that one interesting right now just because Dax agent is also the agent for
Brandon Aubrey.
And I'm sure in those conversations they're talking about, well, yeah, we get it.
You want to make Brandon the highest paid kicker, but you've got to reset the market because
then all the other kickers are going to fall in line.
And it makes me wonder if a Jerry or Stephen or anyone in that room goes, yeah,
you told us that about DAC too.
And nobody's above 55 and our guy's still making 60s.
So, dude, he was saying that last.
I'm sorry to interrupt you.
He was saying that last year about Micah in training camp.
Yeah.
So it's still sticking with him that they keep telling me,
I mean, it does happen with everybody except it didn't happen with Dag.
And the reason why I think that stuff stands out is because, again,
I just, I don't know enough about his wins and losses in real estate and oil and drilling.
But I feel pretty confident saying he probably doesn't suffer many losses in that realm,
especially as he's gotten older and his wealth is just increased.
And so I don't know that he's probably taken losses in the last 15, 20 years like he has in those negotiations with Dak Prescott.
He just always assumed Dak would give in, you know, his side wouldn't hold out all the way to the last, you know, top of the dollar like they did.
And they absolutely called his bluff and we're like, yeah, we will.
And that's why it probably factored in with the Micah thing too, where he's probably like, well, I'm,
not going to get completely worked over like this again.
And that stuff shouldn't matter when you're also the general manager should be getting the
best team on the field.
There's a salary cap, pay these guys and keep it moving.
But it's hard for me to ever believe that it doesn't get personal with Jerry, especially
when it comes to business.
I want to play that DAC piece of audio.
Didn't you reference this, Jake?
Yeah, he's asked about the-
I think John Machota brought this up.
But I thought this was, this is somewhat controversial.
I think you recorded this, John, at some kind of chair.
Children's Cancer Fund.
Some kind of charity, some kind of whatever, children's cancer.
Anyway, DAC is...
Well, they're not funding the cancer.
Dak is being asked about...
Yeah, why the hell would you fund children's cancer?
Well, I mean, that's why I just said it to charity.
This is Dak.
New Jersey's.
Talking about Pickens' contract negotiations and getting that franchise tag.
Yeah, George loves football.
That's the one thing about it.
I just want him to know, don't change your love for football.
Don't get in the business mind of this.
You played last year on a one year for not even that much, right?
So if you can go 30, whatever it is now, it's the same thing I got.
So, you know, when I'm franchise, so, hey, go do it.
At the end of the day, bet on yourself.
He's a hell of a player.
Hopefully we can get him long term and sign that, but if not.
All right, so basically that's, I mean, he's sounding like a member of management there a little bit,
which does happen with quarterbacks.
Yeah, I think he also wants George to probably go to minicamp.
Show up to things, you know, so I mean, Dax's going to get married this summer.
And he's also probably going to have to spend time with George on his own because
George probably won't show up to some things, you know, because that's what happens generally
when you get a franchise tag and you don't want it.
So as of today, I don't think George Pickens will be at all of OTAs in minicamp.
And they want him to be a bigger part of the offense.
So I think there's going to be even more on Dax plate.
away from the facility to get George caught up on some maybe some things that they're working on,
heading into training camp.
But I also don't disagree with what Dax said there.
And I hate taking this stance because the last thing I ever want to do is sound like I'm just defending Jerry Jones and the Cowboys,
because obviously there's a lot to be critical of them.
But I just, this idea that George Pickens has just been killing it for five years and it's just
he's up and it's time to pay him.
Like, do we not have TVs and saw what happened in Pittsburgh?
It just saw what happened last year in Dallas.
And so give him, like, the idea that it's just so wrong to not want to see another year,
he's just turned 25 the other day.
Like, you franchise tag him if everything goes well again and you do, I don't know,
something crazy like make the playoffs.
Then he's lined right up for a monster deal again next off season.
Like, I don't think that they're really doing that wrong by the guy.
So I don't completely disagree with what, what Dak said there.
It's a weird, you know, this came up a couple years ago with the Maver.
with Kyrie, where it felt like neither team really had leverage, maybe both sides had all of it.
I don't think another team wants to make George Pickens their wide receiver won for $37 million a
year.
Just don't.
And then give up two first round picks.
Right.
And I even as if he were to walk next year, right?
Like, I don't think another team is sold on that, whereas the Cowboys really, really, really need
him really badly.
But Jake, if he does what he did this year, though, again, then he's absolutely getting north of 35
from somebody.
You're probably right.
I mean, the bills just gave up a second round pick for DJ Moore.
Someone's going to, someone will give him a monster deal.
Let's say that it's the whole year again.
Like he balls out, but he also is at the tables at 2 a.m.
And he got, you have to bench him for the first quarter.
He's not showing up on, you know, he don't always like Tuesdays and Thursdays
or whatever shot he said.
If he does that entire thing again, which he will, right?
Why would he do that after you upped his salary to $28 million?
Why would it be different?
I don't know.
Very tricky situation.
It is, but it really does come down to it.
It just only takes one.
And I don't even think it would be just one.
I think there'd be two, three, four teams that would sit there and go,
especially teams that have good quarterbacks.
Like, if you have a good quarterback, you're like this guy, like Dak, will be there.
You know, the bad move would be trying to do that.
And then you put him back in a situation where he has to deal with an aged Russell Wilson,
Kenny Pickett situation.
If you put him with a good quarterback, like we'll just use, even though,
obviously, like I said, they did the trade today.
but let's say it was Buffalo.
You're putting him with Josh Allen and things like that.
I think you, and he has respect for the coach and they're using him a variety of ways,
I think you would get George Pickens best.
If you put him in a situation in some city he doesn't want to be in,
and it's a revolving door of Zach Wilson's and Justin Fields at quarterback,
you're probably going to get what you got in Pittsburgh again.
You mentioned something to a Super Bowl Sunday about how you were surprised that,
in some small way, that Mike Vrable,
never ended up with the Cowboys throughout any of their coaching searches because Stephen and
Mike Vrable were actually sort of close. And it just got me thinking you're in Indy last week.
Are there any other, because that one really, I think, blew our minds. That felt very buddy cop.
Like, are there any other guys or names that have been around in the past 10, 15 years that
were close that you were surprised? Maybe that we didn't know about. We would always hear like
Urban Meyer or, you know, Lincoln Riley. And those just,
never seemed even remotely possible to me, but neither did, neither did Vrable.
So the top two for me are definitely Sean Payton and Mike Vrable, and that's because both of them,
let's see, how do we put this, are good with the nightlife, just like the Joneses are.
And so I've always thought, like, I can see these guys fit together.
You know, it was another one who really embraces the nightlife.
And when I say that, I don't even think he drinks, as far as I know.
I just usually see him out.
But it's Mike McDaniel.
And so that was another one.
Like he's always around.
So like those guys always to me were always the ones where like I've always felt like Jerry
in particular, but Stephen too, like you just know that Jerry didn't have a ton of fun
with Jimmy Johnson and Bill Parcells.
And not that he was hanging out at night with Jason Garrett either.
But there's always been a part of me.
I'm surprised that they don't link up with like a Sean Payton or Mike Vrable
where they're friends beyond just football and stuff like that.
So those, there's not even a close third.
Those two have always been at the top of the list for me.
But I think also the thing comes back to as crazy it is to say this,
you're the most valuable sports franchise,
but you don't pay top of the line for coaches.
And you're going to have to pay the top of the line to get one of those guys.
He loves having dinners with Shottie, maybe.
Yeah.
Shoddy loves dinner.
And a shoddy, that's a drink I made up.
It's smaller than a regular drink.
My name is Schottenheimer.
All right, John, well, like Dan said, really love the One Star Cowboys podcast, and we appreciate
your time here.
Always good talking, you guys.
We'll talk very soon.
There he goes.
John Machota.
I don't know if that information was old or updated, but I would love to know that Mike McDaniel
is a sober guy who goes out in parties.
Because that's you, right?
It is.
show up with a tray full of cookies at 1.30.
Is Mike McDaniel eating donuts with ice cream in the middle of them?
You know, I think I've told you guys this before, but when you are like in the booze and you're thinking, like, I would like to get out of this, everybody who's out of it, you're like, damn, that's cool.
And I remember hearing about him early on, like when he was working with the Falcons, he was kind of living at the facility and he was drinking there all the time.
And they were finding bottles, like, trying to, they sent him to rehab.
the Falcons like Thomas Demetroff did.
But I remember listening to Mike McDaniel talk around the time I first found out, you know, anything about him.
Maybe it was when he got hired by the Dolphins.
And they're like, you know, how's your day?
And he's like, well, it's treats day.
I'm a big snacks guy.
My wife went to the snacks, the snack story yesterday.
And then I found out that he was an alcoholic.
And I'm like, damn.
It's my guy.
It does make sense.
You got to keep Pop-Tarts around.
Whatever.
I imagine Jerry would want to, like, throw him.
He wants to ride McCarthy.
He'd want to toss him.
Oh, look how fun of this.
I mean, like a little lacewell.
I got a couple of other sports things.
Okay, let's do it.
Let's make it brought to us by Fairlease.
Fairlease.org is our car dealer.
We have guys.
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Connor and Nick.
They are a big dumb zone guys.
Got to know those guys.
guys over the last couple of months. Here's a phone number for you.
972-705-4815. That's the Dumbzone hotline. That's an exclusive hotline for just us.
Correct. Correct. Remind it if you need to. A lot of pressure to have one of those phones.
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We'll get there.
Is it worth it?
Fair least navidad.
I think so.
A lot of build up.
So we're talking to John Machota.
He referenced, you know, there's a lot of websites you can go to out there.
That have a lot of football data now.
And he referenced one where you can do the salary cap.
There's a bunch of them.
Overthecap.com is one you'll hear me reference.
a lot. I pay for and write off.
Oh, righting it off. That premium subby.
Nice. Thank you, Sean Kernan for teaching us how to be, to manage our wealth.
It's a lot of cool resources, and it's maintained by former agents. It's a lot of stuff that
you would never need, but it's a great resource for the media, and they have a bunch of
cool stats on here. And one thing they have is historical contracts. So they have, you know,
back to like the, at least the 90s, early 90s.
And what they have is tables that show, hey, like, here's what this guy made.
Emmett.
The big Emmett deal, seven for 40.5, right?
That was the big contract in 1996 that he held out for.
It's 5.78 a year was the deal.
Okay.
But what this website will do is it will list that number as a percentage of the cap at the time.
Because that's really what you want to know, right?
Yeah.
What are you allocating your cap money to?
And it will do that, and then it will adjust it for inflation.
To say what would that be today?
Yeah.
Which is pretty sweet.
Okay.
Do you also have some kind of, well, I guess the cap percentage will do this for us.
But I remember Jerry talking about the fact that, I mean, Emmett wanted quarterback money.
Was that quarterback money of the day?
Of the day, yeah.
Okay.
Of the day, it definitely was.
So that would be like today, Sequin Barclay signing for $50 million a year.
It is seven years, $300 million, so it's $43 million a year.
That's what Emmett would translate to today.
Yeah.
It was one of the, because you know how I originally ended up at this?
You keep making the point about Dax contract being like setting the, like, and so I keep looking at it.
Like, oh, God, it is bad.
And I clicked over on running back.
And unless the game changes, I don't know, more than it ever, ever has, the Cowboys gave out the richest running back contract of all time and it'll never be topped.
When you click sort for top on running back.
Zeke is?
Yeah.
Okay, because the cap has been going up, the Barclay thing didn't look.
Correct.
So that one will never be topped.
So I started messing around and I was like, well, what about his store?
historically and like
and historically you would maybe
think that the DAC one will never be top
it might yeah
like two years ago
it'll be it's very close
okay burrow
okay so like Aaron Rogers
well let me just say this
there have been several contracts after Dax
that did not top him Trevor Lawrence
Jordan Love to a new Josh Allen
Josh Allen's percentage of a cap is
considerably lower than DAC right now
and that cap contract was signed more recently
the DAC thing is really bad.
It's just that Burroughs slightly edged him out
because it's
because of the way that the contractor structure.
But Dax is not being touched.
It's just funny to also go back and you just look at like
you think of him at making nothing.
I mean, that's a lot of money.
It's just that inflation has occurred.
When you hear these guys talk about,
we didn't make money back in the day.
It's one thing if you were in the 50s, 60s,
maybe even 70s, you know, but
And then just a couple of other interesting things I looked at.
I had one of our interns, Henry.
I had him look at the length of every NFL team's end-of-season press conference.
Oh.
Because, you know, it's kind of like when we used to do who's got it better than us,
and we would, during an NFL season, whoever the Cowboys opponent was,
we would try to take a minute and focus on, well, what do they got going on?
What sort of scandals do they have going on?
What sort of weird things have the people involved in their management said in the last few years?
And, you know, you'll see the Cowboys do an hour and 10 minute press conference before the draft.
After each round of the draft, before training camp, you know, after the end of the season.
So the Cowboys this year was one hour and seven minutes long.
And it was by a pretty good.
margin the longest one.
And they didn't fire anybody.
They didn't hire anybody, at least not at that press conference, you know.
Yeah, like the Bills one was a big deal.
The Bills was 53 minutes.
Okay, they even beat the Bills.
But for example, the Broncos, 18 minutes, the Chiefs, it was 13 minutes.
Look, we're done.
Do the playoff teams have shorter ones?
For the most part, yes.
The Packers were 27 minutes.
The Bears were 18 minutes.
Um, the Falcons were an hour.
Hmm.
They had Matt Ryan, but I just, you can go through it and look at it.
They had a new head coach and Matt Ryan as well.
Yeah.
There was some other funny ones on here.
Let's see.
The Steelers was 15 minutes.
Like, come on.
Dude, I've ingested a full Tomlin press conference and it's incredibly different than
anything we've had than Shoddy.
Yes.
It is very, we're here.
Here's info.
It's kind of like if you were in a meeting with Tomlin,
Tomlin would not be telling you about his kids that day
and this thing that happened.
He'd be like, all right, we're here.
What are we doing?
All right, we're done.
Like, I got stuff to do.
Objectives.
Yeah.
And then one more note.
Where Shottie is the opposite.
Shottie's like, what?
Let's talk.
Let's have fun.
You have lunch?
What'd you have?
My mom calls it building me a watch.
Right?
What does that mean?
I didn't ask you to build me a watch.
I asked you to tell me the time.
The history of Kienwa.
Kingwa.
I was listening to some stuff yesterday and heard some football nerds say that last year,
the best, or at least the teams who did it the most,
so we'll just say the best, teams on fourth down,
as far as going for it when they should,
the highest percentage in the league was about 70%.
It was the Packers.
It's not to say they converted at 70%.
So looking at the chart.
which says...
Yeah.
Okay.
And you could debate the chart,
but I usually keep it almost...
You can keep it up during games.
It's not crazy,
but it's mostly when we think you should go for it.
You know, it's going to be most...
I would say the average fan
may not be 100% of the time,
but it's probably 80, 90% of the time.
And now the best teams are clipping at about 70.
It's way, way different.
If you go back to 2014,
which is the first year I have,
have this website runningbacks don't matter.com.
In 2014, the first year they have this data, there was only one team hitting it over
50%.
And actually it was at 50%.
And it was the Ravens.
And nobody else was above 35.
It's barely over 10 years ago.
Like almost the entire league is over 50% now as far as where you should be.
Where's the cowboy?
They have a guy now.
Everybody has a guy.
The Ravens always had multiple people.
The Ravens always had some nerds with non-football names on their staff.
That's interesting.
I don't think of the Ravens like that.
They are, dude.
They've always had the most analytic staffers.
They hire people from all these websites I go to.
The Cowboys last year were roughly slightly above middle of the pack.
I thought they'd be lower.
Interestingly enough, the other Harbaugh.
last year was last.
Well, and that makes you think, yeah, was it
John Harbaugh or was it the Ravens?
Yeah, you don't know.
And they were built, you know, you can run the ball.
Yeah.
Philadelphia, obviously introducing the tush push has changed
because other teams are, you know,
running derivatives of it.
But I don't know, it goes back to something Blake says a lot.
It's just a bunch of guys who grew up playing Madden,
eventually ended up in charge of NFL teams
and we get a better game for it, I think.
Football.
Football.
Let's do some viewer mail.
It's Thursday.
The first one I got, we'll refer to our sponsor.
Because we do get a ton of emails
just literally regarding Ownwell.
Like people like to, it's almost like people don't believe
us.
Like, seriously, you go there for a couple minutes, you just fill in your info, and then you
just lay back and enjoy it.
And it might be like nothing.
They'll get you 50 bucks off.
That might be thousands of dollars.
Yeah.
So this email is from Gabe.
I've been a P1 of Dan the moment his whiny bitch voice pierced the Dallas airwaves.
I am now a DZ day one, an annual subscriber.
You're my leader, Dan, despite your misguided stance, that today Luke is a top 10 player of all time.
And more recently, putting Yokic as the fourth greatest player of all time.
Jesus, what are we doing?
I digress.
Doesn't know, bowl.
Except when it comes to how to save money on his property tax.
I digress.
He says to Ownwell.
I signed up with Ownwell.
What's the website?
Do you have that in front of you?
Ownwell.com slash the dumb zone.
Process was easy as advertised.
I requested own well to appeal my value.
After a couple months, the results were in, and they were able to reduce my value.
As is the agreement, we paid Ownwell a portion of the anticipated savings.
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I have a letter from my mortgage lender.
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that Ownwell got me.
Let's go to the club.
In addition to that, my monthly payment went down by $350.
So how about that?
Thanks, Onwell, for the expertise and service.
Never punt.
Always kick the field goal through the opponent's uprates.
That's a good piece.
That's from Gabe, but there you go.
Ownwell.
Like I said, people will email us like, actually, I didn't believe you guys,
so then I tried it.
And look, they did save me money.
That's cool.
Oh, man, I got a ton of stuff here.
Prove it.
And I feel like a lot of it is baby-centric, so we're going to save a little bit of that.
Baby?
Fake baby?
Oh, okay, yeah, I'm ready whenever you are.
From Rick, the debate over Jake's dirtbagginess that centers over him drinking out of the washed piss cup got me wondering this.
Dan, would you ever drink out of a spit cup that you washed in the dishwasher?
Pretty yucky.
Absolutely, I have.
Pretty yucky.
Would you, yeah, that's a tough one.
I mean, it's my spit.
There are probably little residue pieces of spit.
Like if I eat an apple and I take a bite out of it and then I take another bite,
there's probably a residue of my spit on that apple somewhere because I used my mouth.
Mm-hmm.
had a little fly and drop a pee come out onto the apple and then I ate the apple.
I think I would feel a lot worse about it.
So I'm going to defend myself saying there's a great difference.
I've been thinking about Blake's pee bag for a couple days.
He said he went to the bathroom in a Ziploc bag.
Like a snack bag or a sandwich?
No, no, that's not hold enough urine.
No, it's a gallon bag.
Oh, a big gallon?
The big freezer bags.
Okay.
Yeah.
big freezer bag. Oh, you should get the freezer. It's a strong
zipper on the top. It's still.
Oh, the slider?
Mm-hmm. It's still. That's interesting.
It's been interesting. But I wouldn't want to hold it
and feel the warmth of the... No, you hold it
by the top and... But you drive
so aggressively that it's just like...
That's true, too. That's true
too. A lot to work with.
Lots of tough things.
You'll come around. I got one on... Tyler tells us
about Boy Scout fundraising, because I was talking
about the Girl Scout cookies that I buy.
Mm-hmm. He says, in case you care,
My son is in the Boy Scouts, or rather scouting America.
He's raising money for himself and his troop by selling.
Do you know?
No.
I know.
Mulch!
What?
Dude, the Boy Scouts get robbed so hard on the fundraisers.
Yeah, who's going to get excited about seeing you in your front yard with a table with a mulch on?
It smells like ass.
Is that the right manure?
slash wood mix.
He got a seven-year-old out there.
He's like, no, what you want to do with this one?
This is going to be good for your begonias.
So this is Tyler.
He says, feel free to drop my email address in the show notes.
And people could reach out if they live within five-mile radius of the Carrollton Farmers Branch Coppell area.
That's going to be up to Blake, Tyler.
Mouch.
We had to sell unpopped popcorn.
Oh, my God.
Not even in bags.
Just raw, un-popped popcorn.
That sucks.
There's a handful.
Why don't they mow lawns or something?
That's a merit badge.
That sucks.
Oh, our favorite Brit ways in.
British people do say burgle.
Burgl?
Yeah.
Like that home was, like, they'll say, I thought it was funny.
Burglary.
They say, no, you were burgled.
That's an actual word.
speaking of actual word
mark
brings up an interesting point
at least for the whites out there
as he says hey brobs we decent whites don't say the n-word
but it has always bugged me that in or n-word is a terrible substitute
when quoting lyrics movie lines
huck finn etc
he says his answer is neighbor
so you're singing out loud
you're singing gold
digger?
Yeah.
He's not messing
with any broke neighbors.
Yeah, but you can
also neighbor.
Naiba, as he says.
Do you feel that's
okay?
I don't think it is.
Oh.
And here's another thing
that I was thinking
about this week.
There's a guy on social
media right now
who, I think he's
about my age.
He's making a lot of
content
around the idea
of the
wigger,
which is a word
I don't know
that I should be saying.
But he, a fellow white, is leaning into it.
Like, oh, this is classic, you know, wigger culture.
And I know what he means because, you know, I was in high school.
Mitzis.
Yeah, we were throwing that around way too freely.
It feels like I'm just saying that because I want to say something else, right?
Like, and it's like as close as you can get to.
Steer clear all the way.
Yeah, that was a big thing.
I have someone emailed us, Adrian.
Do you know who's John Norris?
He says, you have to hear what John Norris says after this aerosmith video at the 1210 mark.
He was watching like an MTV, 1992.
Yeah.
He had like weird teeth.
He's the VJ?
Yeah.
Yeah, he had like the gap tooth.
Yeah.
Kind of a dork.
All right.
So there's an aerospace video.
And this is John Norris.
on MTV.
It's never
enough when I'm going now.
Not real music.
Stephen Thomas produced some great music over the years,
but nothing as great as his daughter
Liv Tyler.
I don't know if you've seen her.
Well, she is 15, so I'll stop talking about her.
But loving an elevator, there's Aerosmith.
Suzanne Vegas.
Why even start down that road?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, and it's like sometimes Dan will look up,
Dan will look up something in the news,
and I'm like, she's 15.
Yeah, hot name, hot name.
Oh.
He knows full way.
Well, he's made some cool stuff, but nothing as cool as that young piece of ass.
You want to do a gummy thought?
Sure.
Are they up today?
I got a couple.
Who?
E.B.
Early bird CBD?
Yeah, actually, I just.
People keep emailing me and they're like, holy, it works.
I conversed with Eric yesterday.
Eric from Early Bird CBD.
Nice.
Because he says yes.
He apologizes.
Maybe it was the THC talking, but he said, yeah, when the promo code actually expired at the end of February,
and that's why it wasn't working at the very beginning of March.
But he has re-upped it.
Nice.
For the Dumbzone listener, Dumbzone 20.
If you go to earlybird CBD.com, get you 20% off.
It's the real stuff.
It's THC.
So if you get drug tested at work, we do not recommend early.
earlybirdcbd.com.
But if you like to take the edge off after a long day,
maybe a long day of announcing high school girls basketball games
and then dealing with your homeless guy,
like it's, uh,
you might need to pop an early bird or two.
Mm-hmm.
It's up to you.
It's up to pay full price.
It's, uh,
20 at early bird CBD.com.
All right.
This is,
uh,
this is a super simple one.
Where's mine?
Um,
Okay, you know, I told you guys, I, not a big deal, but I invented YouTube TV.
Yeah.
YouTube.
Well, I sort of invented YouTube.
YouTube TV is a streaming service, and I don't know that you had the.
I guess what I, I invented the smart TV.
Yeah, there you go.
Like in 2002 or 2003, I had buddies who were plugging HDMI cables, and then we would run the audio through separately, you know.
We all did that.
Really?
Like with your laptop?
Is that what you were doing?
To try and watch something that was on your laptop?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, we tried.
Yeah, it sucked.
Jake was in Plano, which he thought was the technology hub of America.
They were from Plano.
Okay.
But I was, I think I was in the car the other night.
This came to my mind with both Cirque de Soroy and the ticket.
And really just in general, this seems like you're complaining about, like, you know,
It's a Lewis CK bit of like having Wi-Fi on an airplane.
But like, let's say that Cirque is live or the ticket is live.
If I go to the podcast app and I go over to like Cirque, if they're live, I should be able to press a button and it play immediately.
If they're live on you, like if ESPN is all of the things on your phone should be more integrated far more seamlessly.
And they will be eventually.
So like we put a podcast out.
Yeah.
You're saying if you go to that podcast.
It should be airing us right now.
Well, yes, especially if it is an outlet that has a live product.
Like, it shouldn't Sports Day Talk app and Apple, those should not be different things.
YouTube and Apple should not.
I understand, like, why they are for business reasons.
But the delivery method, okay, here's another example.
If you fire up the ESPN app and you want to watch a video, do you find that to be like a nice process?
No.
No, it's a boy, they're the worst.
They pretty much all are, but like we have these super computers on your, but I do think there's a world where the latency of everything you do takes 20 seconds will be gone.
And it's in the moment very frustrating to me when you are dealing with it, right?
Like even on your TV, like going from thing to thing to thing is like, oh, okay, I guess I'll wait 20 seconds.
There's a lot of stuff for it to load.
And I think that one of the next things in like entertainment culture will be more of an integration of your shit to where you're not constantly.
I mean, is this you saying I want cable TV again?
This is AI, isn't it?
Because there's some level, I guess, of like predicting what you.
Just say, listen to Cirque live.
Yeah.
Yeah, it would be very cool if on your phone you had the Dumbzone logo and if we were live, you pushed that and it just played what we had.
Yeah.
There's different ways you could do it
I just I think
I think the technology is there
And then my other gummy thought
So this was a gummy thought
So you were just high and like
I can't find it
Yeah probably
It wasn't so much I can't find it
It's just trying to troubleshoot
I thought it was here
Well it's like think of it this way right
It's 810 I'm in the car
And CERC is on
And I'm like okay
What do I do? Do I go to the CERT button
On my podcast page?
No
Okay because it's not live there
Like a rate, I don't know
It's hard to explain
I know a lot of guys who watch
Or who will fire up YouTube
And I will too
Because I pay for premium
Which is by far the best money
You're ever going to spend
Explain
I'm not there yet man
I can't do it
Write it off
I think it's like a hundred bucks a year
But just not having ads on YouTube
And it allows you to do
Like the minimize
And you can
You could even play something else
You know it can run in the background
Can you turn your phone off
Yeah
Or close your phone?
You can do that without premium.
Okay.
You didn't used to be able to.
Yeah, couldn't a few months ago.
Yeah, bring up YouTube, minimize it,
then go back to your home screen.
It'll stop playing, but then you drag down
the top bar and then hit play.
I'm not going to do any of that.
It's not as hard.
I described how you do it in less than 10 seconds,
and you don't have the patience to hear it.
No, I know I'm not going to remember what you just said.
Okay, I'll show me later.
These ideas are free.
You've known.
ever really been a big social media guy.
I, I, have you, I've tried to get access to like my MySpace account back before.
And it's basically, it's kind of impossible.
Don't you think that like, just like when digitization sprung up, I feel like there should
be a service out there where they're like, hey, for $499 bucks or whatever, I can get you
access to all your social media accounts.
I can get you into them so that you can get, or I can get you all the data from them,
all the photos, all the, I think this is going to be a thing that as people get older,
they're like, I wish I had a social media account from when I was younger.
They have no idea.
How the hell are you going to get somebody from AOL on the phone or something?
But some sort of customer service representative type.
How about you when you did the time machine thing you defined the OJ audio?
Are you able to do that?
I think I got really lucky with that one.
What was that called?
Like a past version of your computer?
The way back machine.
Yeah, you can find...
It was just these were websites were out in 2002.
Yeah.
Like, but it's no longer there, but he was able to recover and find like old lost Kate Delaney.
I'm...
But I couldn't find Payne Stewart's Chinese accent.
I know.
So you win some, you lose some.
Someone has it.
Are you worried?
Is this because...
No, I'm not worried about anything.
I'm really not.
I think it'd be fun.
But is it for people?
to, I can scrub everything
I've had, or is it because you want
to rush and cancel
people? No, I think it's just so you can look
at it and be like, that ruled.
My life was cool.
I don't have all those photos anymore.
I don't remember that, not because of like
booze, but like to be able to go back and look like,
oh, that college thing you're a kid,
you're not thinking it's going to be cool to see
this stuff later. I didn't order
a yearbook
for school, but my mom ordered one for me.
Sure, I know.
Because I was just like, I don't care.
I'm not going to care.
And now I am glad that I have one.
So I can see what the huts of the day looked like.
Gummy thought, this one was an email.
Should the drummer of a deaf leopard tribute band have to play with one arm?
Yeah.
Yes.
Are you committed to the bid or are you not?
Yeah, I actually had a friend who passed away
because he got too committed to being in a queen.
tribute band.
Got AIDS.
You got to commit it.
Or commit, like you said.
Another one from me,
after I fired up a couple of early birds.
Because I did this.
Do this some evening.
Stop what you're doing.
And do a montage,
like a movie director
is working this in your head.
A montage of what your friends are doing
right now.
Yeah, it's really good.
So I went over to Blake.
He's dealing with a crying baby.
And then Brooks is over in the room, brushing his teeth.
I went to Clayton, who was cleaning his gun in a...
It was kind of looked like he was on a workbench type area.
But just very, very...
It was dark and dank.
But that gun, man, that thing was spotless.
You could eat off it.
Jake, I went over to him.
I think he was eating a donut or something.
Whatever, but just like you just roll through your friends and just like, where is everybody
and what are they doing right this very second?
That's very funny.
Were you in my house last night?
Because that's what I was doing.
I think life would be pretty sweet if every day you could see a montage, like how the Shield
used to have.
They'd just have a song that they'd kind of do that show you with each member of the strike team
kind of showing.
Yeah, one guy.
just walking in saying hi to his family, the other guy
just doing a line of code. Right.
Yeah.
Just the dichotomy.
Here's one from my daughter of viewer male.
She told me the other day on the way to school that they had a sub the day before.
And I'm always interested in that.
I'm like, what's the word?
Good, bad and different.
She's like, well, this one got kind of upset with us at the end of the day.
And I'm kind of like reliving school right now.
You know, a lot of stuff I forgot about.
And one of them was, she was like, yeah, she was upset.
and she just eliminated our last period of reading time for put your head on the desk and be quiet.
I was like, oh, shit, I hadn't thought about that forever.
Put your head on the desk and be quiet.
She was like, yeah, for 10 minutes.
It was like, ooh.
As if it was the longest thing they've ever done.
So I looked it up and there's like a bunch of debate about this, you know, in schools of like,
when you go to detention, what are you supposed to do?
like you don't want to reward them but because then i started thinking dude the second she said that
and like game day men's health i have a lot of energy i feel great it was like 725 in the morning
and she's like we all laid our head down i was like that sounds awesome like immediately
i'm like god just a little period of the day where you just lay your head down that does seem like
it's a reward for the teacher because they get less to do and noise.
Turn the temp down.
Are you being a teacher, your job is, what did I just call you?
A reward for who?
You are a teacher.
Not a babysitter just trying to keep everybody in line.
So is that an opportunity to do some reading?
To do a little something.
They may not be doing it, you know?
Heads down, thumbs up.
Heads down, thumbs up.
Man.
Got a white.
Hillary lost. Dear Dan, I'd like to submit the following. People like Jake who make a big deal
out of using unhoused instead of homeless should consider the following. Un as a prefix means
not. Therefore unhoused means not housed. Less as a suffix means without. Therefore homeless
means without home. The words literally mean the same thing yet using the proper terminology seems
to serve more as a way to feel superior, despite both terms conveying the exact same meeting.
That's from Kyle.
This is one of the tricky things about doing a show as brilliant as this one, is I only started
saying unhoused because people with like blue hair started seriously saying unhoused.
Check in with me on the word equity too.
I don't think it means anything different from a quote.
Let's talk about the baby.
One more before the baby, because the baby's going to end us, right?
Yeah, I think so.
I got two.
You got others?
An anchored phrase, anchored word, whatever.
This from Rick, circuitous.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Secuitus route.
It's the only route.
Yeah, I think so.
And then a graphic.
This is from our good friend, Chris Mikoski, doing some, I think Texas softball maybe.
He had an idea for a graphic and he threw it up on the screen.
This graphic called 2026 Texas Longhorns, Things that are Back.
Yes, things that are back.
And then just highlights how they brought some starting pitching back,
now college baseball.
So, yeah, some of their starting rotations back, things that are back.
That's great.
We've infiltrated.
Used to be a field.
This last one before we start talking about fake babies,
Dear Uncle Hot Wife,
I want to thank you for your tireless work documenting the countless memorials
to the 9-11 terrorist attacks found all over this country.
Oh, he writes country.
Sorry.
As we all continue healing from the tragic events of 2025, I fear a new wave of commemorative fervor is rising.
This time centered around 19-time Cup Series winner Greg Biffel.
Yeah, it could be taken off.
There exists a true patriot outside of Singleton, Texas, who has dedicated the pond on his property to Mr. Biffle for those who want to downplay his impact.
Just know that Greg Biffle was named one of NASCAR's top 75 drivers of all time,
like Anthony Davis.
Never turn right.
That's from Connor.
And yes, he did a Google Maps, like gave me a link to this place in Singleton, Texas,
with the Greg Biffle Memorial Pond.
That is amazing.
All right.
I think these other emails now will refer to
the fact that I was at the gym and I saw a girl, which I thought she had her baby there.
It turns out the baby was fake, but she was like doing this up and down, like kind of rocking it,
didn't do a little burp on it, talking to her friend.
It was just not a real baby.
So we think it was probably some kind of a school assignment, right?
Well, I would not have drawn that conclusion at all because I was not aware of these sorts of programs in the slightest.
Did you think she was going to go throw it in the pool?
Yeah.
I saw it at Hawaii Falls.
Oh, yeah.
A very real-looking baby thrown into the lazy river while I was there with my two-year-old and then a lifeguard jumps in to save it.
It's gnarly.
But no, I was not aware of this at all.
So as you were explaining it, I think it was Blake who said,
I think it's a fake baby
So you might have the same emails I have
I have one from a school administrator
And I have one with the
The point of
POV of the student
A 24 year old who's recently
gone through this so which one do you just go forth
And I'll fill in the gaps
You want to do school administrator first
Sure
Because it's DF James
He's the principal of Baird High School
Very nice facility
Please. Good people.
Any thanks, Blake, for the positive feedback.
The babies are part of an assignment for students who take child development as a part of their career pathway.
The baby is designed to cry, coup, and require feeding, rocking, and changing at different times during the day and night.
Students keep the baby for a week or two when it's returned.
The device provides data that gives the teacher a grade based on how well it was cared for.
Taking the baby to the gym is an interesting gamble.
I'd be curious to see the final grade on that one.
If the baby is crying while she has her AirPods in,
she doesn't get to it in a few minutes, she will fail the assignment.
This is not a required course for all students, although it should be.
Students can even opt out of the assignment and complete a written assignment instead.
If schools had more local control over what they could offer and teach,
we could require more life skills classes such as learning about credit, interest rates,
the stock market, changing a tire, hooking up a washer and dryer and other practical skills,
rather than some of the courses
currently mandated by the state.
If you'd like, I'll be your go-to expert
on anything education-related
when it comes to schools and learning.
That's James.
Go-to.
So...
Yeah, that's wild to me.
This entire...
Yeah, that this has developed.
Feels very like home-ec from the 1960s or 70s.
But the tracker on it is interesting to me.
Just because, like,
I've asked my girls, well, how do you, because they'll have open book tests.
But they have like a tracker on the, like they have a thing, which is making sure the camera can see you there.
Like you can't do one of these tests things and walk away from your computer.
Like you have to be in front of your computer.
Like it's a, I don't know, they got AI, bro.
Anyway, Ola Uncle Dental Dam.
Dental Dan.
I am currently 24.
I had to do what my high school called the Parenthood Simulation during my sophomore year.
This was for Home Economics class.
You're graded on how well you take care of your child.
The simulation tracks your response time whenever the baby cried, how long it took to figure out what it needed,
whether it was a feeding, a diaper change, a burping, or just crying for attention.
You also got graded on not abusing your doll.
It tracked if it was a baby.
ever shaken, dropped, thrown, or neglected. The baby could even die if it was abused or neglected
too much. When it was your turn to do the project, the baby would turn on right after school
ended on Friday and turn off the following Monday morning. You weren't allowed to use a babysitter.
This was enforced by an RFID tracker attached to your wrist via a special zip tie that had the
teacher's signature on it. Every time the baby cried, you had to see.
scan your wristband so the doll knew it was you responding.
If you cut the wristband off, it was an automatic failure.
If you had pre-scheduled plans that weekend, good luck.
When I had the baby, I already had tickets to the Fort Worth Gun Show.
Damn.
I hate to miss that.
I still went.
I still went, but I didn't want to be seen walking around with a gay-looking baby doll.
So I stuffed it in a backpack and carried it around.
My friends had other ideas.
They threw their babies in the closet for the whole weekend,
which resulted in their dolls dying.
If your baby died, you had to have a talk with the school counselor
and repeat the project another weekend.
Never punt your child.
That's from Jack.
Good email.
Man, yeah, there's a lot.
I got one from a guy.
Apparently this is something that was mini-viral,
maybe about 10 years ago or so.
but some researchers in Australia did this program where let me see if I can pull the official
study up they did it with low and middle income students and they found that it worked the opposite
and that all the girls loved the attention that they got from having a baby,
and they were 36% more likely to get pregnant.
So the idea was...
The idea was, this is so hard you should not have sex.
Yeah.
But it actually made more of them get pregnant.
Yeah, the group that had the baby more of them ended up getting pregnant,
36% more because people were like, oh, it's so cute.
And they love nothing more than attention.
at that age.
I wonder how that affected the dudes.
See, I wanted to hear from, like,
what are they, do they have a analogous type assignment?
I mean, is this all...
That was from a dude, right?
Yeah.
Okay, so they gave one male, female, no matter what.
Well, that's this guy's particular school
in that particular HomeX class.
As the first guy said, this is not mandated or anything.
Yeah.
Well, it's not a real...
It's not really have a baby program because you don't have to fight off the urge to sell it at all times like you do in real life.
Yeah.
You always know.
All right.
How you feeling about today's show so far, Blake?
Pretty solid.
Nice.
The Dumsa, Dumsa, Domsa.
And the Olympics creative director, Hiroshi Sasaki.
He quit in March.
Well, if this one's after the album.
After he referred to a popular comedian, Naomi Watanbi, she's also a plus-size fashion designer.
He referred to her as Olympig.
There's no fat on that joke.
That's perfect.
It's 2.30.
All right, I got to go.
You're listening to The Dumb Zone.
Oh, man, I left my Ridge wallet in the car.
I wanted to show it to you because I got a Ridge wallet to match my Brown's shoes.
Nice.
I got an orange Ridge wallet.
You got one?
I just went with the black one.
It's nice.
Simple, strong, powerful.
Much like Blake himself.
I shot mine with a bunch of bullets like I was Kid Rock, and it was still...
Did you hit the wallet?
or did you miss like he did?
Either way,
the Ridge wallet was in good shape.
Listeners,
Dumbzone listeners, 10% off
by using the promo code
Dumbzone at checkout.
That's ridge.com.
Use promo code Dumbzone.
After you purchased,
they'll ask you where you heard about it.
Tell them on the Dumb zone.
It's the Ridge 2.0.
It's a badass wallet.
They got money clips.
Well,
what was one of the emails was telling us
about R-F-ID?
Whoa.
You're not going to track me.
R-F-I-D, yeah.
So that's how they can make sure that they're,
they got that little fake baby and they don't throw it away and stuff.
But the Ridge, the Ridge wallet, R-F-I-D blocking technology.
So somebody's trying to track, get, you know, steal your cards, information, whatever.
Magnets.
They can't do it.
Keeping you safe from digital pickpocketers.
Are they trying to sell you digital chicklets and stuff?
You ever go to Mexico and all the little kids are trying to sell you a little something?
Hey, look, it's the digital bucket boys.
Hocking there.
Anyways, Ridge.
Ridge.com, Dumbzone.
I have a follow-up email that I forgot to bring up.
Here, I'm going to toss this to you because that was in the snail mail that came to my house.
Okay.
My literal home.
Very nice envelope here.
My castle.
See, and Jesus.
There's a doctrine about my house.
It appears to be a wedding invitation.
So, dear Jake, Dan and Blake, day 10, number 36, 36 here.
This is gay as we have never met.
But me and my soon-to-be first wife agreed that you should.
she get our last wedding invite. I listen
daily. I hate Wednesday.
My fiance
Courtney constantly hears the phrase
you got to hear what the boys are talking about.
Oh,
also she loves sending
you topless photos for both
of our birthdays in exchange
for 30 seconds of pod
time. Sweet.
There's
probably jokes in there. I'm confident
this wedding is more than 100 miles
from the 9-11 Memorial and Blake
would never consider to the flight,
but consider this a thanks for the countless hours of never punt.
Keep chasing at money.
Even less Mavs from your Houston D.Fs,
Graham and Courtney,
P.S., I also invited Charlotte Jones.
Okay.
Jake, is your chance.
If she shows up,
I will have to say sorry to Courtney and I'll knife Jake for her hand.
And then now in different handwriting down here
With a red pen
It says PPS
If I'm not still the center of the wall
We can upgrade the photo
I take this seriously
Also Dan's wife is always right
That's apparently from Courtney
I think you've been moved Courtney
Blake
Is asking for more pictures of Courtney
destination wedding, huh?
That's the thing.
Well, no, they live in Houston.
They're getting married in Houston.
Are you sure?
I'm not.
Yeah, I think that's kind of the...
I thought he's saying we just wouldn't travel to Houston.
No, this wedding is in Punta Kana or in the Dominican Republic.
Oh, damn.
They're asking us to go there?
Yeah.
The flights are listed here.
Okay, so that's a built-in excuse for us not to go.
Benji?
Dude, if it was in Houston, I'd be there.
Totally.
How funny would it be if we just showed up in the Dominican Republic?
Why not? We do a show.
Sandals on.
Do a week of shows. Can we get a sponsor?
Well, congrats to you two crazy kids.
Thanks for the topless photos of your wife.
Yeah. Much appreciated.
I don't know.
So do you know the show Sherry?
No.
You never see it?
Oh, do you guys use the tiny bathroom or the big one here at Fox 4?
It depends on my mood.
I use the big changing room bathroom.
I'll go a small one.
Okay.
But in the changing room bathroom.
We kind of know that's your bathroom.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't go to that when you're here.
That's what we're all trying to say.
So this is the Game Day Men's Health Studios, downtown Dallas, the Fox 4 building.
And in the bathroom that I go into, the bigger one, there's one room you walk into,
and there's a giant mirror and there's like a makeup chair.
Because apparently back in the old days when they were smoking on set and doing cocaine between,
between breaks.
Congratulating your female co-workers.
With a nice open hand slap on the bottom.
Right.
The way God intended us to congratulate the fairer sex.
I would imagine they actually had people applying makeup to the anchor,
like they had a makeup lady and all this kind of stuff.
Nowadays, from what I understand, at least from Ducey,
it's pretty much a do-it-yourself.
Yeah.
A little DIY in there.
But they still have the big.
big room. The big giant light bulbs around the mirror, you know, that looks cool.
And they have a little TV there. I thought ostensibly it's to watch, well, I guess it's to watch
whatever's on Fox 4 at the time. And so now, yeah, if you're in break from your news, you know when
it's coming back, all that. Well, anyway, they have this show called Sherry, which is a black lady.
Okay. She's very funny. She was on 30 Rock. She was, um...
Oh, I know this lady. Tracy Morgan's wife on Thursday.
Sherry Shepard.
Yeah, she was on The View.
Oh, she was?
So now she has her own talk show, but I need to DVR this starting tonight.
Because when I was in there, I think their talk show, oh, it must start at 1 o'clock.
She's doing a monologue to start the show.
Okay.
She had some thoughts on Travis Kelsey and NFL comedy.
You know, she's replacing Wendy, and Wendy used to do that.
Wendy Williams?
Yeah, Wendy Williams would go out there for 10 minutes at the start of her show.
And again, much like with us doing foul on the other night, it would feel like you were on drugs.
Because it was like time was frozen.
She would say a line.
The crowd didn't really know how to react.
Was it a joke?
I don't know.
She just talks.
Wendy would do that.
Wendy was more of a freestyle, yes.
I remember that.
Talk show host or like a morning DJ type.
But this seemed to be a pre-written monologue and she's looking at cards.
That sounds incredible.
And should we ever consider starting our show with just a monologue?
I really like the, I like the dance hall.
What if Blake gets five minutes just to start the show, riffing on today's headlines?
All right, everybody, thanks.
And then we pass it off.
It's pre-theme, yeah.
Would you do that?
Gentlemen.
Yeah, pre-themed.
Or yeah, does the theme?
Think about it, guys.
God, imagine going to Sherry.
What do you mean?
Physically going, I imagine going to the crowd.
Oh, like I want to be in that studio audience?
The women who are, well, someone loves them.
Today's news brought to us by Community Mechanical.
Community Mechanical.
Keep going?
That's as far as I got.
Okay, Community Mechanical.
You know them.
You love them.
folks. They are our HVAC company. It used to be a field. They weren't even a company when we started
doing this podcast. Travis was a big listener. They came in for a sit-in, and he was like, you know what?
Once we get this company up and flying, we want to advertise on the dumb zone. They have done so.
They kind of dedicate themselves to a real high-level customer service because, you know, you ever been with the
HVAC company and maybe during the freeze and then you call them and they're like we got we got
shit going on we don't have time for you not the boys at community yeah community they're great
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them at any time we want to challenge that try it in the middle of the night 469 66777
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years place. Preventive maintenance. That's their big deal. Sign up for some PM.
I'm going to start with a couple bits of plain news here. United Airlines has quietly added
a new policy to their contract of carriage document. And extensively what this covers is,
plug your dang headphones in. That's great. Yeah. Yes, there's a small addendum,
buried in here that their right to remove you now covers passengers who fail to use headphones
while listening to audio or video content.
Boy, is there something we could put on them so that I can't hear their side of the conversation
on the phone?
It's good.
Yeah.
I mean, we're eliminating the other person's side for those who want to hold the phone in
front of them and talk out loud on a speaker.
I started, this is kind of like your thing of wondering what all your
friends are doing at the exact moment, but maybe this is just the benefits of if you go to the
grocery store or Costco or something after you've hit the early bird. Maybe it's also just a
benefit of not being like an angry, hateful person anymore. But when I hear half a phone conversation,
I find myself running wild with imagination on what that person's life is like. Like I kind of
fill in the other side of it a little bit. And, you know, because here's a thing. So you're saying lean into it,
have fun, don't just sit there getting mad.
Yeah, I spend a lot of time doing that.
The people who are on the phone at the grocery store, very rarely are they chill about it.
They have a sense of urgency applied to what often appear to be very low stakes conversation.
And I told her, I told her, we were going to be there at seven.
Like, it's never the national security type issues.
It's, I don't know.
But that's one.
another plane story
I've always
wondered about this
so
private
flight is very popular
in the state of Texas
there's a lot of small little airports
and there is a Houston
based charter plane company
Star Flight Aviation
the FAA has
accused them of falsifying
their pilot training records
for at least 10 pilots
And I say this because I don't know that it's quite, hey, there's going to be 2.3 million new prostitutes here because of the Super Bowl.
Or, hey, the Olympics is going to bring $1.4 trillion in economic development.
It's not quite that.
But when I would hear the pilot training thing of $12,400, I'm like, no, there's no way you did all of it.
There's no way you did all those hours.
The hour?
Okay.
just don't buy it so they were false buying that yes apparently quite quite egregiously they had to have been getting complaints or something
yeah i think it's that uh they started getting complaints from they say possibly a mechanic or a pilot
involved in the operation that just in general noticed that it was uh like a cutting corners type operation
like they were running on a shoestring so then they called and uh they took
checked and they were not, because it cost money to train people.
So they just weren't doing it.
They're like, you're fine.
You're good.
I've seen you up there.
At least two or three times.
And here you are alive.
No crashes.
I wonder, yeah, we could talk to Brandon's wife about that.
She's a pilot, right?
Yeah.
Like, do you actually have to have 20,000 miles logged?
I bet you there's a lot of, I bet there's a lot of shaving.
I know this is a different...
Cutting corners.
This is a different kind of training,
but I overheard some of my wife's training,
and I don't miss the corporate.
What are you supposed to do in this situation?
Here's an active shooter in the building.
Here's the employee you shouldn't trust.
You should take a walk.
Just such a waste of time.
Probably the best Gillian Keeves sketch.
It's got McCusker in it.
And if you start clicking the wrong answers on the training video,
it, like, unlocks a different...
world. He's like, keep fucking going.
Yeah, it's very funny. Grabber. Grab another drink.
Speaking of grabber, yesterday was a big day for politics.
Tuesday was voting day. We got all the results. And from a Texas standpoint,
Mark Tashira has secured the GOP bid. So this is the 21st congressional district.
He will head to the general in November.
So he is a Trump-endorsed politician now for the state of Texas.
Dush.
Yeah.
Not even from Texas.
Well, I guess he probably lives in Texas now for this.
But just yet another person that's going to come in here and just muddy up my state.
Yep.
Yankee.
Literally Yankee has come into the state.
You want me to start cheering for this guy?
He wanted out.
I didn't want out.
I came here and I stayed.
Quick as you could.
Unfortunately that he's still married to.
Unfortunate.
Another Texas politics story, not headed to the general,
appears to be Vince Shlomi.
What?
He was running in Congress's 31st Congress.
district against a long time incumbent down there.
Vince Shlomi is suing.
Is that the...
Tell him or...
He's suing the Texas Republican Party
because he says the reason that he finished fifth out of ten candidates
is because he was listed as Vince Shlomi
and not Vince the Shamwow guy Shlomi.
That's who, okay, yeah.
That's real?
It's very real.
You know guys don't remember we played his hit new song
Woke Busters
Which I guess I don't know if we're allowed to play here
Because it's on YouTube and
It's a Ghostbusters
It 100% uses the Ray Parker Jr. theme
But it's him
Walking around dressed like a lady going
Woke Buster
We can end the show with it
It won't be on the YouTube show
But it did work
You know I didn't do it today
I did boons ago
He says it's a rigged election
election by these rhinos.
That's, of course, Republicans in name only.
Ah.
There's always someone to blame.
Yeah.
Okay, yeah, I just got the YouTube link.
Wokebusters.
That's good.
This is a very small story, but it's one that tickled me.
There's a bar over in Fort Worth that was hit up by a joint operation from Fort Worth,
Department of Homeland Security.
It is called Masquerade Cabaret.
It's over West Camp Bowie, West Side of Town.
And it received a certificate back in October,
a certificate of occupancy, to operate as a bar.
But then in a letter sent last month,
City of Fort Worth accused the club's owners of allowing employees to work,
quote, in a state of nudity.
A place called masquerade cabaret.
Correct.
So the owners were told their employees would have to be sufficiently clothed for the establishment to remain open.
And, okay, so this is why I find this funny.
I know that you have to have zoning, and I know that you have to have different types of rules for different types of businesses.
But it's very funny to me that there's just a level of titty that can be exposed based on what this piece of
paper says like and it says
sufficiently hey hey whoa
whoa like you go to
a twin peaks you go to a
whatever yeah concrete
cowboy is a popular one I think in
grapevine they're wearing barely nothing
it's barely
anything but then you go to this
place and they're like lower it a little more
and I know whoa
this feels like a strip club now
just the sort of things
that the government adjudicates
I'm not saying there
There's no reason for it.
I'm sure there is.
But to send in the cops and be like how much of that nipple is covered.
This is not a sex place.
This is a bar place.
Ooh, yeah.
Do you guys know that Tucker Carlson is in the nicotine game?
Explain.
Yeah.
It's not good.
Is it not?
I mean, I know it's no Lucy.
His own pouches?
Yeah.
They're made into you.
Called what?
Alps.
Alp.
Well, he got jacked.
Millions and millions of dollars of his pouches were hijacked and across-country shipment.
That's probably a write-off.
Ooh.
It's an insurance claim.
I was going to say, that's the tired claim.
Wired is when you, is that what you meant?
Like you staged your own?
Oh, I didn't, but that's great.
I like that.
Yeah.
That gets you out of that bad investment.
Speaking of bad investment, two former Houston Rockets players,
one of them a former Mavericks player, Chandler Parsons and Courtney Lee.
I mentioned them as Rockets because it stems from their time with Houston.
A former financial advisor was indicted yesterday for defrauding them out of about $5 million.
Was it Sean Kernan?
Don't think so.
Good.
I don't think he would ever do that.
Chandler Parsons, folks.
Who defrauded the Mavs out of quite a bit of money.
Do you remember how his story got even crazier?
I was just going to say defraud, but you could.
Whenever Brayn was hit with the Tinder, wasn't he restricted free agent?
Yeah.
How the Mavs got him?
Yeah.
Cuban signed him in a nightclub.
the poison pill trade kicker, but that's when he signed here.
When he left here was when Cuban and I guess Casey said we're not okay with the medical.
And he had two offers, one from Portland and one from Memphis, both at four for 94,
which was an insane number at the time.
He got it, got in a car accident, but when he got in that car accident, he had already,
he could not play anymore.
He wasn't healthy.
he wasn't explosive enough.
But then he sued,
and I'm pretty sure got made whole on the entire deal,
as if he was out there fulfilling that contract for 23 and 12 at a 38% clip.
He would have never...
He would have had to retire, you know?
Yeah.
He's like the guy with the jump to conclusions, Matt.
Worked out.
Got a new nice accident.
Yeah, I don't have...
bilk me money.
And I don't think I ever will.
I think that's like a good number to stay below.
Don't you think, though, if you lived in a world where if someone built you out of
$5 million and you were like, ah, wow, that's annoying.
Like your life, Chandler Parsons' life is not changed at all.
No, but.
Except you might have to go to court.
And I think that worrying about that would be, like if you said, and I don't know the numbers,
But if you were like, hey, your net worth is 50 million and it means people are bothering you all the time.
You're having to worry about losing half a million or you get 20 million and you never have to worry about it.
I think it would still piss you off.
Don't you think?
Like even if it's not materially affecting you, knowing that everybody around you, you're like, oh, this guy trying to fuck me.
Oh, yeah, it would piss you off.
But in the end, it wouldn't mean anything.
So I wonder if that's how you find peace if you're like a super wealthy person is you just,
just like in normal life, you have to accept
there's going to be some things here I can't control.
I'm going to get ripped off some.
Yeah.
And that's just going to be part of it.
Because otherwise, I think it would drive you crazy.
Like, everybody you talk to, don't you think you'd be thinking?
Like if you're in the music industry, you're definitely...
Oh, my God.
But anyone, you know, all these young guys that come into all this money,
probably all get built in some way.
Well...
Except LeBron.
Who did it right?
Right.
I don't.
No, I'm just joking.
No, no, no, I don't.
Probably somebody, you know, somewhere skimmed some off the top of the LeBron Empire.
That shouldn't have.
Because he'll never notice.
He'll never, you just got to keep it within that limit.
Does his dad get a check?
His actual dad?
Yeah.
Like, does LeBron send him a?
I've never really heard anything about his actual dad.
Is he alive?
That's what I...
Yeah, I don't...
I know that he wasn't around early.
I know Shaq's actual dad
is alive and then I think he wanted nothing to do with him.
Because it was his stepdad who was the military guy, right?
That's who he considers.
Yeah, his biological dad, he doesn't.
Which is odd because it does seem like Shaq is very free with his money with everyone else.
That's tough.
That's tough.
All right, there's your news.
And we'll turn over here.
And we'll do it.
this.
The Dumb Zone News.
Was Chilardons ever good?
Yeah, dude.
That was a good news.
I don't want to, I don't want to.
Get out of the road.
Jake's kind of a, he'll suck off Chandler Parsons anytime you give him the opportunity to.
He's always a defender.
He's a birthday.
Thank you.
It's ridiculous.
Trying to get this guy.
Dude, look, it worked with Hardin.
Viewer mail birthdays today, sponsored by Factor.
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We've gotten more fake baby email that rolled in during today's show.
I know.
That was throwing me off during the segment.
I didn't look at any emails.
Okay.
I have Uncle Hotmail.
Business Wednesday was my daughter's DeMarvian Overshown slash Rowdy birthday.
Congrats.
She is a member of the Beehive.
Oh, nice.
And is proud of Jake's bravery.
Please have Jake rate her name.
Gianna Rose.
You don't want to know.
Never punt on the plus side of the field.
That's from D.F. Mario in Puff, Lugarville.
It's a hot name.
It's a hot name.
What are you doing, though, what are you doing with Rose?
Like, you know, you know that's going to make whatever first name you give sound.
like she's going to end up with a leg tattoo.
Or is going to have a government official look at her and say,
I don't think you're sufficiently dressed.
Hey, Dan, I'd like to wish my friend Bill a happy birthday.
His leader is Dan crop dusting the olds at the polling center
while doing his civic duty.
More Blake, more Soroy, less Sven.
Aw, from Jeff.
Dear Crash Davis of the Gash and Anus.
I'd like to wish to,
a happy birthday to my best friend and business partner, 11 kids Danny. His actual birthday is
March 4th. Gummy thought to add to the conversation about whether listening to an audio book
counts as an actual reading a book. If an author uses dictation software like Dragon or
chat GPT to generate the initial text and the editor simply corrects or polishes the final wording,
did the author really write the book? And if the same author narrates the audiobook, isn't that
arguably the closest thing you could get to hearing their stream of consciousness as they
originally composed it.
Oh, then he has some anchored phrases.
Boy, he's got a lot here.
Why not?
Scantily?
Clad.
Layman's.
Terms.
Topsy.
Turvy.
I like that one.
Our leaders are Jake's explanation to a South Lake Soccer Mom as to why chat
GPT cut back on their charge.
child's playing time,
pond guy and run the ball, Blake.
And finally, this is from Ryan, by the way.
He's the Ibutler.
Oh, no, yeah.
Ryan at iButler.com.
We love Ryan, folks.
He said in once upon a time.
He says, we might certainly be biased,
but Blake or anyone else wearing yellow blue light lenses
is not why Hillary lost.
Yeah.
Yellow blue light filter.
Lenses have been around since 1980s, began being marketed to gamers around 08,
when companies started sponsoring e-sports events following major shift.
Anyway, he says, you're good, you good.
Thanks, Ryan.
That's Ryan Rogers.
They feel like those sort of deals that you put around your waist when you're going to be lifting.
But it's like, why don't you just have a strong back?
Well, they started in shooting.
Did they?
Yeah, like,
ski shooting and stuff like that.
That's somewhat of a cover.
Guns.
Game Day Men's Health presents on this day in history.
Like, should we do a bit kind of like your social media meme tailings,
where Dan just has to listen to the show,
like the McDonald's guy eating a Big Mac or whatever,
and he has to pretend like he likes it?
Have you seen the video of the McDonald's CEO?
trying to eat their burger?
No.
He hates it?
It doesn't look like he loves it.
Well, I'll just put it to you like this.
I don't think he's a guy who eats a lot of McDonald's.
So I was talking to my daughter.
He looks like Ken from Ken and Barbie,
and he's like, this is delicious mouthfeel.
I was talking to my daughter, who is into nutrition.
That's what her line of study is.
and just about the NHL players eating fast food at the White House
and the Clemson players
just because she was talking about what they eat there
and it's like they don't eat any fast food,
the Clemson team.
Yeah, I bet.
Now, you guys are probably right.
They probably did like it because they are pretty regimented.
But I would think the Clemson team didn't like it
Because it's like, well, this is what college kids eat a lot of.
If they're on their own, they certainly will do that.
But now you're going to the White House.
It's like if your boss or somebody is, somebody's going to take you out to dinner,
do you want that to be fast food or would you want that to be a steak?
Or, you know, some nice seafood, just a nice expensive meal.
Yeah.
Like it's the White House.
It's the big, you know, this is great.
Do you want to sleep on a cot?
I know, but if you, I think.
I feel like you got to acclimate.
Like if Trump invited you to the White House,
aren't you eating a McDouble?
You're going to eat whatever they're throwing in front of you.
That's what I'm saying.
But Trump is not, well, and he might be eating.
Actually, him and Jerry are probably salt in there.
That's, yeah.
McGrittles.
Anyway, Game Day Men's Health,
12 area locations.
Gameday.
com.
Get you feeling good.
Stop into one of those area locations and mention.
in the dumb zone, they will give you 10% off your testosterone replacement therapy for life.
For life.
Get on the fat shot.
They have it.
Oh, the peptides, the fat shots.
What was Matt Grimm?
Oh, I think it's the peptides.
Yeah, he's been doing the peptide shots.
He said now for a couple of months and that he's never felt better.
He's like in his 50s and, well, you know, he's able to.
to drive from Phoenix to Dallas with merely a 15 minute nap.
What more do you need to know, folks?
Gameday.dumzone.com starts with the testosterone test,
but there's a lot they can help you with.
Help you look like Jake.
Cheat at life.
And Jake eats like donuts and ice cream and stuff.
Hey, you never told us about Christy Gnome.
You were saying during the break.
What's the deal?
I actually just overheard it in the hallways up here.
Okay.
I'm serious.
There was like a news.
There was a news buzz.
I don't know.
Is that what Steve Eager is doing on the nightly news?
He's like, oh, I just kind of heard that.
But I'm not going to mention it on the news.
He just doesn't did the news.
I don't give a poop about Christy Noam.
I don't even find her attractive.
That's the only reason I would be interested in the story.
Is that a movie thing, a newsroom where people are just running everywhere, papers are flying?
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, I think it's happening.
Here, at the ticket, wherever I've run down the hall to get.
I yeah hell I ran to get my sandwich
well I know but just like
if Christy Nome is fired is the newsroom in there just like panic
oh my god what are we going to do
oh I was thinking there was a good tie-in
a good parallel between us and the morning show on Apple TV
as there will be yeah I was trying to think about what it was
oh because so in the newest season of the morning show
Jennifer Aniston learns to write stuff off
No.
So they've, it's kind of the new network, you know, it's looking at network TV, but in its current form.
And one of the things that bothers Jennifer Anson and some others around there is the amount of power that the podcast has.
There's this guy now that does a podcast, but he doesn't, like, he'll wear shorts.
He'll, like, and I think that's the parallel of us as we walk through here.
Don't like it.
Just doing our own thing.
Uh-huh.
And their podcast is called The Bro Show.
So it's speaking to Man, you know, it's bros.
A little Manosphere.
And what's our, I mean, you don't like to think of yourself as a bro-centric podcast,
but look at the numbers, don't lie.
They don't.
We're in the sphere.
So we're the Bro Show.
Yeah.
And you in particular, I think, really fall in.
You just look more like bro than I do.
I would want to punch me if I saw me.
I've always thought that.
Like, God, dude, you just...
And you've gotten better.
Like, imagine...
No, I'm saying, if you encounter 25-year-old Jake,
don't you hate 25-year-old Jake more than 40-year-old Jake?
Even more.
This Christy Knoem thing will bother me.
If she's out...
Is she the one that they were having a thing
and saying you spent all this money,
but somebody you knew?
Have you heard about that?
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, this will bother me because I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I work out with Christy Knoam.
You got one that looks exactly like her.
Exactly like Christy Knoem.
She's always talking on, she has like the Bluetooth thing.
And she's always on a phone call.
I have, I just want to tell you who we have at my gym.
I have Stephen Jones.
Christy Knoem, short Yannis.
But he looks exactly like his shoulders.
are real back, kind of like Anthony Davis, kind of like, you know how he's got that very erect posture,
but he looks exactly like Janus. He's just about a foot shoulder. It's not racist at all.
I'm not racist. I don't, listen, I don't, you're talking to the wrong guy. I'm not calling
anybody racist. So these are the names I say in my head. I don't want to know what they're saying
in their head when I pass them. I'm like, oh, there's just big dog. Chrissy Nome's here.
There's one guy in my head. He wears jeans to work out.
and his face kind of looks like it's a little pretty skinny guy he's earnest for you
okay yeah no everybody's got those christie noem yeah a very popular archetype over where we live
yeah the hat the hair out the back puffy lips yeah i don't know she may be great she may be
terrible i just don't find her attractive i do think that there was a funny that's how you usually
rank your completely yeah there was a good chant whenever minnesota was popping off
that got stuck in my head.
That made me proud for America doing chance.
Here, pull this up, see if it'll play.
You like the Seward?
We get on Seward?
In small doses.
It's too, I want to know.
Don't you wish American sports had more of that,
like we see in Europe and whatnot?
You need to work on our rhyming.
What are they saying?
It's just the...
Hey, Christy-None.
I want to know why you're such a C.
No, she made our news six months ago or so.
She was going to have that game show to earn a green card.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
What happened to that?
They do a lot of stuff where they toss it out there and then we never really hear it again.
Like Baby Rocky?
No, like female ref at the Broncos game.
Yeah.
Hey, Kim Kardashian.
You paid that off.
Today is Thursday, March 5th.
So this is today in history.
Brought to us by Game Day Men's Health.
1770 on this day, the Boston Massacre took place.
British soldiers were taunted by a crowd of colonists.
So they opened fire.
Like what?
How about this?
They started it.
They killed five people.
On this day in 1973, two New York Yankee,
left-handers. Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich. They announced to the media that they have
traded families, including wives, kids, and dogs. Here it is. It actually began behind the scenes
the previous fall, but now the winter happened off-season. So one guy started tagging the
one guy's wife, he started to, and they were like, you know what? What if we just make this
permanent? Let's call the media. They literally traded entire families. This is like the
Baltimore Colts were once traded for the Los Angeles Rams.
That's true.
Did you know that?
They once traded entire franchises.
I did not know that.
That's crazy.
Where all the players had to move across the country.
I would like to know more about that.
Yeah.
Yes.
So Fritz Peterson
ended up staying with his lady,
having four more children.
That was the player to be named later.
Kekich.
his relationship with Marilyn Peterson is short-lived.
So it worked out for Fritz Peterson's like he got it all.
Well, unless you wanted out.
Or unless Mike Hecich is the real playing chess here.
Right.
God, that's awesome.
On this day in 1982,
John Belushi is working on a movie script with his friends.
And they introduced him, he liked drugs, right, back in the day.
They introduced him to
What if we take your cocaine
And we mix it with heroin here
We call this a speedball
Which is one of those things
Like the bald guy's name is Curley
Because this speed ball slowed down his breathing
And finally caused complete respiratory failure
And he's dead
At the age of 33, John Belushi
Yeah
I'm sure a lot of it is
Fishing Stories
or whatever fish tails, but
the fact that he was able to work at all
when you read the SNL book is pretty insane.
The incredible amount of drugs he was doing?
Just, I don't know.
I guess at some point the drugs are keeping you up
and counterbalance in the other ones,
but it's insane.
At 33.
That's the really impressive part.
My gosh.
Yeah.
He was able to do so much by the age of 33.
Yeah.
On this day in 1998, NASA signed,
said enough water was frozen in the loose soil of the moon to support a lunar base and perhaps one day a human colony.
This is one of those things that ever since I was a little kid, they've been talking about.
Do they not do it anymore?
Do we not even talk about a base on the moon?
It came back up recently.
Like Elon had a design for one.
Like this year recently.
In all this time, how come there hasn't been one?
Let's just build at least a tiny thing.
A tiny house.
Let's drop a tiny house in with a drone.
Yeah.
And just live there for a couple days.
Let's just see it.
Like they've lived in space stations for like a year.
How about a reality show?
How about something on the moon?
New Trump space policy sets 2028 deadline for moon base.
Golden dome prototype.
Deadline.
We put a deadline on this one?
Yeah.
Apparently we just own the moon.
moon. Nobody else is taking it.
We put our flag up there.
And today is March 5th, this day
in Dumb Zone history.
This is a big day in our show
history for Words with Dan.
Back in
2021, you were doing,
Jake was out, Julie was
filling in, and
we got this Words with Dan.
Okay, well, I'm more referring to the
transgender bathroom, not transgender,
the
dual sex. I'm going to mess
another word, I'm sure. Is there a word for
same-sex bath?
Anybody, not same-sex. All-sex baths.
Everybody-bathering.
I forgot that it ended
with everybody-bathroom. It did everybody
bathroom. Unisex, right?
Yes. Okay.
That's it.
I've been hitting
family bathrooms so
hard lately.
I got a kid with me.
I just never thought about it before.
Well, that's perfectly
acceptable. Like last night,
Having a kid with you.
Or whenever it was, we had to go pick Kristen up from the airport,
but we had to wait a long time.
And so you just take both kids in there.
And I just forget, you forget there's even a family airport at the bathroom at the airport.
It's great.
I was at Coles, and I had to, it was very temporary,
but I had to abduct a kid to get into the family bathroom.
And so, yeah, they're crying for a couple minutes.
And the mom is, but five, it was five minutes.
Yeah. You had to go.
I'm the bad guy in the end.
Yeah, I probably could use the family bathroom if I take Brooks,
but I just don't want to tie it in case someone wants it.
But he's still in the age where he won't, like he has to pull his pants all the way down.
So you use the urinal.
So go to the family.
I guess I should.
I'm just in there bare-ass.
I feel like it's weird.
One more.
This is from the year 2024.
We were having somebody on who pitched a person.
product that got bought by Mark Cuban on Shark Tank.
And this resulted in a pretty funny words with Dan.
Yeah.
So, but basically it's a thermometer, though, that you could put under the dog's arm.
Arm?
Leg.
I guess the front is the leg.
They're all legs, right?
They don't have any arms.
But if they had an arm, it would be the arm.
The leg pit.
What do you call it?
We actually have four.
We call them arm fits.
Why not?
There go.
We don't have a lot before.
Okay.
But yeah, you put it under there and you could take the temperature,
which seems a lot less intrusive than the bottom.
Front leg.
My dog seems to take the bottom temperature thing.
Just doesn't even blink.
Kind of presents it to you, like, oh, no.
Yeah, kind of likes it.
Thanks, Blake.
Other birthdays today, Michael Irvin is 60.
The goat for me.
That's why your 88 is in your email.
Not Des.
It's true.
Piano teachers and Nazis aside.
Who have both asked me about it.
Nazis like 88?
14.
Yeah.
What's that number?
I don't know.
I mean, it's...
What is it?
14 words for...
I don't know.
Paul Canerco is 50.
T.C.
88 is the numerical code for her.
Heil Hitler
The numerical code
Yeah like 1-488 was always presented as like this code for white supremacy
And then the
Keys there are simply 88 of them
The less
Oh so piano teachers are like oh you love piano
Swear to God the lady who taught me
It's like that's interesting big
I'm like no no no I'm learning
You think I stake that this email before I learned piano
TC, Justin Fields is 27.
Wouldn't he there, guy?
Yeah, I'm trying to think of where things left with him.
Like last year or with the Bears?
Last year.
I mean, we were excited for a minute and then...
No, he stinks, right?
You know what's the...
Well, let's not have your agent talk now.
Yeah, bad radio zone is out there.
Write down Malik Willis.
Oh, I was going to say right down.
Kyler.
Yeah.
Absolutely, I want to talk Kyler, but just the Malik Willis talk.
Anyway, stay tuned for that.
We're going off.
That's after we do dice play tomorrow.
That's too much for a free show.
I got a...
It's mom's first period.
I got to paywall.
Oh, damn, dude.
We got a SPAC show tomorrow.
I can't get to anything because Blake broke up with his homeless guy.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that today.
You absolutely should have done that today.
That is the top news of the day.
That and Christy Knoem.
That's going to suck him in for tomorrow.
Bo Bichette is 28.
I was kind of hoping he'd be better.
His dad was a big fan of steroids, I think.
What was he?
I thought he was just a Rocky.
Is that all it was?
I guess I just assumed everybody.
What if you did both?
Well, well.
Somebody did, right?
Was Caminetti never a Rocky?
Todd Hilton?
Todd Hilton.
Are you ready to tell me that Todd Hilton?
No, who left?
Like he was on the Expos, then he went to the Rockies?
Not Mondesi, but we're on the same path.
Larry Walker.
Larry Walker.
There you go.
Was he Roidy?
Yeah, right?
Man, I guess I just, I probably am not the guy to ask.
I was a kid, and once I learned that steroids were in baseball,
I just assumed every guy.
Because Hillary Walker was fucking huge.
He didn't look like a baseball player anymore.
I'm going to call foul.
I thought Bobauchette was Craig Bizio Jr.
My bad.
Boba Shet is actually awesome.
I was going to say, I thought he was in the group that did well.
Yeah, former player's kids on the Blue Jays.
I think he has 21 war already.
I'm remembering looking at it.
E.
Kyle Schwarber is 33.
Nice career.
Joe Exotic is 63
God damn, son of a bitch
Fort Worth
Currently, I think so, right?
Doesn't he in some kind of prison?
Yeah, yeah
Medical prison
That sounds better
We could book him
He does live bookings from prison
I would do that
Pick game
What are you just sitting there, Blake?
I'm looking up Joe Exotic now
How come we don't have Joe Exotic on the show right now?
Alex Stein used to have a weekly with him.
I'm less interested.
You just want to do what Alex Stein does.
That's what I've always done.
Ricky Lindholm is 47.
She's from Garfunkel and Oates.
Oh, cool.
She's the blonde.
John Furshante is 56.
Wow.
The red hot chili peppers.
Is he the one with a sock on his wiener?
That was all of them.
Then yes.
At some point or another.
Yeah, this is him here.
You just kind of.
Throw that in this month's drop-up,
because I couldn't find this morning.
Singer Eddie Grant is 78.
You may know him from Electric Avenue,
but romancing the stone, so many others.
I'm romancing the stone.
Really?
So you're saying he has a larger cattle?
I got really into him when you guys got really into him on why today doesn't suck.
Huh.
And Murray Head is 80.
He sang a song called One Night in Bangkok.
Which is literally what I did.
You've been to Bangkok?
For one night.
We didn't even really stay the night.
Do you think it was a funny name of a city?
It's the wildest place I've ever been.
Why?
On one small drag of the city.
city was like the red light district
bourbon yes plus bourbon street plus it was it was that that is where you see like
signs everywhere that are like ping pong show could you have had a small boy if you needed
one yeah i think so i think so what country are we talking about there i want to let you
keep on taking cracks at it not going to try not even going to try i mean you know it's not
Denmark.
Bangkok.
Dana's thinking, does it sound Asian-y?
Oh, it's absolutely Asian-y.
Sure.
I got that, right?
Yeah, yeah.
You're hot there.
I'm fine.
We're good.
You're good?
We're good.
Penn Gillette is 71.
Libertarian.
Thailand.
You're nailed it.
Is it?
Yes.
Good job.
Damn.
Where was I?
Penn Gillette.
Jake Lloyd is 37.
That is young Anakin Skywalker.
I just figure someone else knows what that is.
I've really never taken...
Keep going.
Joel Osteen is 63.
Hi.
That's more Harry Carey, but...
He has Harry Carrey delivery to me.
He's got big teeth.
Remember when he wouldn't let people come sleep at his megachurch?
Remember when they found all that money in the bathroom?
Bro.
That is one of the top ten...
Wait, what?
local news stories I ever did in my career.
Hey, they found a bunch of money in our walls.
Don't matter.
It was like $800,000 cash like in the walls of the church that some repair guy found.
They're like, oh, never mind that.
Why did the repair guy tell anyone?
I don't remember.
It was, and I think they might have rewarded it.
This story was crazy.
Like, there's actual money in the wall.
at a church and everyone just, hey, don't.
Hmm.
And it was right around the time the Jimstones episode of them having money hidden in the wall.
In November of 2021, a plumber named Justin Colley discovered over 500 envelopes
containing cash and checks hidden inside a wall.
You tell me, that's just normal ass accounting?
Like, that's...
It's like a squirrel hiding its tides.
Dude.
That's great.
Yeah, throw that song in there.
I put it in Dumbzone Bricks.
Oh.
I copied it.
I thought you liked copy because then it doesn't mess up your dating.
Did it not go over?
You keep talking.
Okay.
Where was I?
Pendjolette, Jake Lloyd, Joel Osteen.
Kevin Connolly is 52.
E.
Right?
No.
He's a different guy.
Who's Kevin Connolly?
He's E.
Okay.
You're right.
Ava Mendez is 52.
And Dum's own birthday of the day,
40 years old today,
Dominique McElegat.
Search her up.
Dominique McElegat.
That's right.
It's Queen Mave on the Boys.
The last trailer just released today for the new season.
So we're all very excited.
One or the other.
Star Trek, the boys, or...
Stranger Things.
1987.
Cleveland Indians.
I can't wait to hear the show when you guys are like,
all right, I started watching it.
My God.
Dude.
Can't stop.
Binge it.
I have watched it.
Binge it.
I'm not even talking about.
Are we prepared to call the boys a...
Greatest?
A COVID thing?
Oh, come on.
Come on.
We all say it about Joe Exotic.
The boys might have been a COVID thing.
It's okay.
Born on this day now dead, Andy Gibb.
The Great.
Not sure that I could tell you what he did v. Barry, but...
Barry's awesome.
Watch the BG's documentary, and you'll really have a great appreciation for Barry Gibb.
One of the best documentaries I've ever seen.
Andy Gibb, though, I bet he just did lots of Coke.
Tag lots of chis.
That's all right.
You're Andy Gibb.
And Earl Woods.
died on this day as well.
Dead on this day still dead.
You have Joseph Stalin.
He is Joseph with an F.
Yeah.
I would say one of the best
biographies I've ever read,
but I haven't read that many of them.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, dude.
I mean, you know,
it's going to be anybody who's got that kind of a story,
but that was an interesting one.
Did lots of stuff?
Did lots of stuff.
Yes.
And also dead on this day,
still dead, died on this day
in 2016. Ray
Tomlinson
says here the
inventor of email.
Okay.
And that's what
happened. Hey, Ray.
I hope you get locked out of your shit for
forgetting to change your password and your two
factor authentication doesn't work.
And it costs you a lot of money and a job
and peace. That's what I hope for you,
Ray. This Nigerian prince wants to
talk to you. Adios.
We gotta go before this becomes a zoo.
Thank you for watching my video.
Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video.
