The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 5-18-26 | A Rocky-themed PGA Championship with Lawrence Rosales

Episode Date: May 18, 2026

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneComedian, Lawrence Rosales, sits in with us today as Dan begins his trek back to Texas. Did you know this year's PGA Championship was played near Philadelphia? If not, here's a Rocky montage. Why is it funny when Asians say "diarrhea" and San Antonio 1st and 2nd graders run a marathon... kind of (00:00) - Open: Weekend check with Lawrence Rosales (52:53) - Sports: PGA Championship in Philly (01:16:13) - Tomoyuki Sugano battles Diamondbacks and diarrhea (01:30:39) - News: Tall people meet up in Houston (01:51:19) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm professional broadcaster Dan McDowell, letting you know that you were about to hear one of our free podcast. But if you'd like to subscribe at dumbzone.com, you'll get four shows per week plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus sods like our business Wednesday interviews. So if you forgot how to use the 15-second rewind, that's dumbzone.com to subscribe. Now, on to today's program. Dan, Dan, Dan, let me tell you something. I start my day, every day, go upstairs. I press on on that mini split that was supplied to me by Community Mechanical. That's how my Instagram getting ready video would be.

Instead of dipping my face and ice, I press on. And then I have AC from Community Mechanical. CommunityDFW.com is our HVAC company. They're sponsoring the Dumb Zone generic summer event. They're sponsoring us in general. community dfw.com is where you start the process of getting preventative maintenance set up. Maybe that's what your, your entree point here. But if you are doing some sort of remodel or a situation like that,

mini-split is the way to go. Communitydfw.com, I'll hit you with that phone number. 469, 667777290. That's how you get in contact with Travis. They are the reason for the cool air season out at the Dumb Zone, generic summer event. It will be inside because of them. And they'll also be giving away a mini split out there.

So Brandon Aubrey trusts them. We trust them. You should to community dfw.com. Community mechanical. Travis and the team real cool. Jingle. You don't want your house to explode. Don't be a bitch.

So pick up the phone. Dan almost died. It is a Monday here in the dumb zone. Day 18th. Coming to live from the Game Day Men's Health Studio. downtown Dallas at the Fox for building. I'm Jake Kemp. I'm Blake Jones.

We've got Foodie CK here. And joining us from the road. He is on the road. It's Dan McDowell, folks. Here he is. He's not in his vehicle. He is out walking about. I'm in New York.

I'm in a city called Salamanca. Oh, Rangers catch. shirt or uh that's salta la machia breaking bad yeah yes actor salamanka you see big sky country behind me big mountain country behind me i just got finished with a chappi inspired uh round of pushups over by the bench over there nice i haven't done any exercising in two weeks nice so it's a little on the way back around the way back you're climbing You're climbing. And joining us.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was just going to say, well, go ahead. Introduce our. Yeah, yeah. I was just going to say. I was thinking about his first name is very odd. If we're talking about climbing out of squalor and just getting your life together from just an utter fucking mess. It's a good friend.

Noted stand-up comedian Lawrence Rosales. Hey, everybody. How are you doing? Yes. I climbed out of squalor like a rack. Coon behind Denny's. And here I am. Before Jake did it, right?

Yeah, before Jake. Jake's kind of a poser. And he climbed a... Probably a higher mountain. Like, if we boil everything down to the dopamine thing, like we were talking about the other day, they show you the chart where they're like, here's alcohol. You better be careful, Buster. Yeah.

They're like, because if you do times 10 this, we call that meth. Yeah, yeah. You show me that and my brain lights up like a Christmas tree. Like the chart doesn't go higher. No, yeah. That's pretty much it. It's that good. If you're thinking about trying it, do it.

Lawrence has some shows coming up. And I was just thinking about Lawrence the other day. I'm like, oh, man, we haven't talked to Lawrence here in a while. He's funny. What does he have to promote? Then I went to watch a bunch of his clips on IG and said, let's do the show. Oh, good. I'm glad you're watching them.

Boy, a lot of work. A lot of unnecessary work. Well, no, I mean, it's all part of the game, right? Yeah, it is, but it is exhausting. I could be doing other things with this computer other than watching myself do stand-up comedy. It's a beating. Don't you love when you put... I'm sorry, do you have a white mom or white dad? I was wondering where the name Lawrence comes from. Yeah, it was a compromise. I have a Hispanic father and a white mother. So Lawrence was kind of them, you know,

come to terms with the fact that I was going to be Mexican for the rest of my life. Like Larry? You ever think of Larry? I went by Larry for a long time. And then I became an adult. And I I was like, we're not doing Larry anymore. Wow. You do not seem like a Larry. That would have been very different. Thank you, Dan. Very different. Yeah, Lawrence is a great name, though.

It doesn't seem white or Hispanic. You think Lawrence is okay? I think it's a sick name. Back in the Reddit days. Oh, dog. I would post my clips on Reddit back in the day, and they would do really well. Like, they'd make front page. And then I'd never read the comments.

And one time I saw one comment and a guy said, Lawrence was all a worst name for a comedian I've ever heard. And I don't know what that means, but I've never forgotten it. This was probably like eight years ago, and I can't let it go. I can't say he's wrong there, but... There's got to be worse ones.

There's got to be worse ones. Like Larry, the cable guy. I don't know. It's actually pretty sweet. That one is pretty sweet. No one is pretty sweet. So Lawrence is going to be here for the show today. Tomorrow, Soroy, will be here, and then Thursday, Dan will be back and will be in the den. That is the schedule currently.

So do you have anything out of the gate you want to promote? When's your next show? Next show, I'm at Mike Drop tomorrow night. They do this big competition every year. And it's a really fun. I hate doing it. But, you know, I'll be there tomorrow night. It's a bunch of really good comics doing like their best five to eight minutes.

And then we're promoting things. I got that tomorrow night. And then after that next week, I got Cowabunga. You guys know Vinny Corrales. Yes. And then Calabunga's downtown Plano. I'll be there on the 27th. It's their three-year anniversary of running probably the best local show in the city.

There you go. That's two. That's what I needed. I want people to go to their calendar and put those things in their pop pilot. So, and then the 28th next week, Thursday, I'm at hyenas. And then Friday, I'm at Jack's Comedy Club in Rockwall, which I've never been to or seen. But everybody says good things. So I'm going forward to checking it out.

All right, Dan, so you, you've now completed your second graduation. Yeah. You're straight home now, right? There's no other obligations on the way home. You don't have to stop and see anyone, pick anything up, do anything. It's just... Dan looks like a silver alert in that car. Is it going to make it at home?

Is it going to make it home? Besides Grim just hitting me with a last-minute quest to get something that might not be legal in Texas. No, I have no other stops. Okay. Straight shot. Nothing scheduled. I do have the one thing I was wondering. I don't know. You guys probably don't have experience with this, but I'm going from New York to Texas. All routes seem to go at least to Columbus. And then it seems like, or at least according to phone, it's an exact equal if I would go the St. Louis way and then down. through Oklahoma, or if I go Cincinnati, Louisville, down, Nashville, and then over that way.

They're like the exact same amount of time. But when I came out to New York, I was able to drive a nice big chunk, a nice big chunk, and then I had just a small drive to get to New York. But, as you know, original 13 colonies, there's a lot of shit up there. So, like, there was no problem finding a place to stay and all that. So if I was dry, see where I'm going? Yeah. Do I want my last, like, night when I just have a five-hour drive the next day?

Like, is there somewhere in Oklahoma? It just seems so desolate. I guess both areas seem a bit desolate. Yeah. Or would I want to be staying in Texarkana. I don't know. Yeah, I would go the second route. I'd avoid Oklahoma.

You would go down through Arkansas? Yeah, that would be a little bit. better drive. Yeah, for sure. I don't know if you care about that, but it would. Don't go through Oklahoma, you're saying? No. No. Okay. And Arkansas is solid. Would that Oklahoma drive take me through Burke and Bo?

Because I've never been there and I was looking forward to... I don't think it'll take you straight through it, but I mean, that's quite a deviation. Broke and Bo's a little off the highway, I think. Yeah, quite a ways. All right. Okay. All right, hit up to the comments. No, Blake has told me. I will. do what Blake says.

Okay, let's hit a little bit of weekend check here, folks. And we're going to have it brought to you by Qualis roofing because there's weather coming, big weather this week. If your roof gets jacked up, yeah, dude, you're going to come home to all week. Yeah, it's going to be big storms all week into the weekend. Damn it. Hey, listen, buddy, is that, are you saying damn it because you're worried your roof's going to get messed up and you won't know who to hit up?

Because if so, I have a, I have a solution for you. QualsGC.com. Have them come out. Check that roof. There could be money up there, right? Your insurance company is going to take care of this. And the only thing really stopping it is the beating of having to hit up the insurance company. You don't have to. Qualis will do it for you. Schedule that free inspection. And maybe you'll get the bad news like our buddy Patrick did here in this email last month. Didn't need a new roof, but they gave them a free dumb zone shirt because that's what you get. If they come out, check the roof and you don't need one. But if you do, they handle everything. soup to nuts I don't really know

It feels like good news if you don't need a new roof Isn't that good news? Then you don't get the sit in Yeah you don't get the sit and you just get a dumb shirt So just get up there with a hammer Yeah Messed that roof up

Yeah Soup to nuts What do you guys think of that one? I don't really It doesn't make a ton of sense to me But I like it Yeah I don't weigh it What's the origin of that?

You haven't heard that one? I feel like I've heard it a lot No I've heard it's in What's the origin? Yeah, what's the atomology of this? QualusGC.com is... In nuts. Soup to nuts.

How could that be beginning to end? It feels like that would be the other way. Yeah. Maybe that's like nuts as the meal. You start off with a little appetizer, some soup. Oh, okay. Who the fuck is eating nuts as a meal? Yeah.

Yeah. What era? I've never finished a mill and thought I could use some nuts. Or when are... Okay. It sounds cool, but... All right. Dan, you want to go?

Yeah, sure. Let me put off the video just for a sec so I can access some notes. If you don't mind, just got to peek at them. Yeah, so I just passed on my drive St. Bonaventure. Woge. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He had a big weekend.

I've been reading about... He's apparently a tyrant. And they're failing. Could a guess. Oh, they are? And like he forced out the beloved coach of 30 years, and he didn't even have a son that made the kids do push-ups naked or whatever. But you know how this is, dude.

If it's going to work, that's your Cowboys' One in 15 season or whatever. everybody who comes in and does it their way. You know this part of the Disney movie. Yep. Yep. So I'm going to work reverse chronology here. I just passed St. Bonnie. That is after this morning started with a fight with my wife, Blake. Excellent.

Fantastic. We keep a list. It turns one of our categories. One of my favorite things. So, you know, she flew to. to Cleveland and then drove to New York with her mom and brother and her brother and mom. And met me at a Ithaca, New York hotel. And then we stayed there for the past few days.

Wall to all sex. Soup to nuts. As you know. Soup to nuts. Hell yeah. That hot hotel sex. And every night with some nuts. So anyway, leaving this morning, I'm up early.

I'm getting my stuff ready, packed up, ready to go. She says to me, now she's like in her mid-50s, her brother is like 60-something years old. And she says to me, hey, make sure you wish Bobby a happy birthday. No. The F I will. And you said I sure will. Yep.

Oh, was it today? Oh, is it today? That's what you say. Keep it moving. It's absolutely today. No, and yes, this is where in retrospect, I should have just done the Jake or whatever. Like if you said to me, hey, will you be at my party this weekend? I'd say yes.

And then I wouldn't go. So why didn't I just do that? I don't know. Why does she still ask you? Yeah, that is. I'm just like, I will not do that. And she goes, why not? He's been like he's helped us out this weekend.

You know, whatever. He's earned a freaking good birthday. I go, because I'm not 12, but he's not 12. Yeah, his birthday's up to him. I go, you don't, people don't want to know about their birthday after their 50. She's like, oh, no, no, he does. He's a big birthday guy. He's like Berlin.

Yeah, so, no, I did not wish him a happy birthday, so. Yeah, I just, I'm with Blake. Why does she keep coming back? She just, it's the, the nut she wants to crack there is she's going to get to. Because you know how women will marry a guy like, I'll change him. Oh. And she's still working on it.

She's working on changing me. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They just don't have rehab for being nice to people. I will give my full graduation review when I get back because I got audio. I got pictures. It's, uh, let me just tell you, the Ithaca college graduation, way different than the Clemson

graduation. Yeah. Boy, you went. One is one is more conservative. I would say. You went polar opposites. Polar opposites. It's really insane.

But so I do get up early and I'm on, I'm so fired up because I'm on New York time now. So I'm getting up super early for Texas world, right? It's great. I'm going to try and stay on it. See how long I can stay on it. But so I get up early and I'm looking for what I do is look for some coffee. And I hear you guys in my head yelling at me to go to a local, you know, find something cool. Yeah.

Don't go to Taco Bell. Go to whatever. Again, this is a topic in my household. I wonder where Dan's eating on the road. I wonder if he's branching out. If there's a subway, Dan will go to the subway. You know he's not. Is it worth it?

You know what I mean? This is the crux of the debate here. Well, you want to feel good about where your money's going. going to a degree. Not the wrong with McDonald's when you're on the road. You know what I mean? They don't have a, didn't have a Pito spokesperson.

I did give Dan a subway gift card like a week before we went on that. That doesn't. That seems passive, aggressive. Somebody gave me a subway gift card. I'd be like, okay, I see where we're at. So the verdict? Well, so no. So I went to a place.

It's called College Town Bagels. And so I guess it's kind of a cross street from our hotel. and at first glance it's really cool, you know, because it's got like the chalk boards are up and that's where they put their menu. Yeah. Right. So you draw in different color chalk

and it's, you know, draw little pictures and whatnot. Right. A lady looking for love in a lifetime movie is running it. Yeah. Had to come home from the big city. Upon further review that you're looking up there and it's like too good. Oh, you think it's fake.

And it's, and they have glass over the chalk thing. Like, so it is, yes, it's like a printed thing that's made to look like chalk. And then as you look around and I search College Town Bagels, it turns out College Town Bagels is a national chain where somebody took the idea of, hey, let's make this look real rugged and cool and we'll have. hang a license plates on the wall and make it look shitty. Yep. But it's owned by like a corporation. That's incredible. And so we will hire people with tattoos and nose rings and everything.

And the earring that makes your ear real big, like the lobe. The gauge. Hell yeah. But so I'm like, oh, fuck, you know. So I'm trying to do right by you guys. So then I see there's something called the Ithaca bakery. Certainly. Come on. The Ithaca bakery is a 20-minute walk on the other side of campus type thing.

And I'm trying to get steps. So I'm like, you know what? I'm down a yogurt and one coffee at the Collegstown bagels. So I'm like, you know what? Let's just get some steps. Let's go to the Ithaca bakery. I need some real. Mm-hmm.

I need something that I need, you know. So I go in there. They've got a chalkboard. They've got... I look around. It's like three big chalkboard. It's kind of the same thing. And then my daughter tells me later, she goes, oh, yeah, they're owned by the same company.

So I couldn't find like a hole in the wall. This guy lives in Ithaca. He's a podhead, but he just opened this little place with his wife and a... they, you know, they just do this just to get by. You know, they're not into it for... It's all fair trade. It's all fake. Everything is fake.

That's brutal. It is brutal, especially like this is the most hippie, liberal, whatever college you could ever be in. But private equity has made sure we capitalized on that. Yeah, it feels like watching a species die. I know that they have apartment complexes here in DFW. that are sort of painted and adorned

to look like a gentrified building when it was just built new in like Cullen County. But they, it says like, you know, general store or pharmacy. Yeah. It's just a building that was built five years ago, but they need to feel like they kicked someone out. Yeah.

I live in one of those little walkable apartments now and like, would they keep closing down the places? Like we used to have an Angelica that's gone. And I feel like I should get rent cheaper. Like we're losing amenities. Like they close the bar down. I'm like... Property value.

Yeah. But it does kind of keep you rugged. So I tried my best for you guys for Clayton. And so that was like Saturday morning. So Saturday afternoon slash evening. We said F it and we ate at the Ithaca, Texas Roadhouse. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, brother.

How is that? Where you don't get on a, so it's your birthday, you don't get to get on a fake horse thing or the saddle. But they do gather everyone around and they give a big Texas, Yee-ha! And then the whole place has to say, yehaw, together. Because in Texas, as you know, we're quite often saying, yaha. I'm six of them today. Only sort of surprise that there's not some sort of speech on how oppressive Texas laws are,

regarding gender or abortion or something when you enter the Ithaca, New York, Texas Roadhouse. You get a men's menu and a women's menu or something. Like they're worried you're going to turn right. Yeah. I mean, keep eating these rolls. You got to do something. I didn't, I didn't take a picture of it.

But my daughter's boyfriend is a vegetarian. And he had, they do have a, it says Ithaca, Texas Roadhouse, vegetarian menu. Like, that doesn't exist in Texas, right? No chance. No. They just beat you. You ask for it. It should investigate it later. They just beat you up. Okay. I'll go.

I flew out Friday afternoon to Lafayette, Louisiana. I didn't know they had an airport. It's not bad. It's a little guy. It's the type where you have to wait quite some time to get an Uber, but whatever. I was just going to go meet my family. My wife's family is from New Orleans. She's from New Orleans. And her dad, they live close to New Iberia, which is close to Lafayette.

It was a college graduation. As I've said before, my wife has half sisters that are almost roast twin age. At least the youngest one is. The oldest one is closer to 30. But they also, two of the three girls, so I guess they're probably like, 23 and 25 or 26 now. They live there. They just bought a new with mom and dad.

They just bought a property like on the bayou. Like it backs up to river and marshland. This place was almost certainly at one point occupied by labor that was less than compelled by volunteer efforts. Yeah. But it's, you know, the house isn't. It's not like a plant. It's a relatively not new, but like 70s or 80s house and not like the 18 or 17, you know, it's, but it's on like an old piece of product. Dude, it's like Emu Tom's place times 10 because it's down in the south and it's, you know, there's a tree that's 500 years old that's just the biggest tree I've ever seen.

They got chickens, you know, there's, it's awesome. It's just a cool place to take your kids. It's only about 15 minutes away from like the grocery store and stuff like that. But down there, dude, in central, southwestern Louisiana, 15 minutes. You're in the middle of nowhere. Nowhere, nowhere. So went out on the boat Saturday. And then we drove home yesterday.

It was super, super quick. Is it one of them flat boats or the big fan? No, I'm sure he's got, he's boat guy. Like he grew up on the water. He grew up. He made a, I think, a lot of his money working in, like, drilling. So he would, you have to have, like, these lift boats to go out and service the rigs, and that was his game.

So he's like a roughneck. So he's got all kinds of boats from the houseboat to the leisure boat, whatever. That's his game. I thought there'd be more fan boats when I was a boy. There, for sure. Down there, they really, you do see them quite a bit down there. But you're right. Like, I think I thought it, maybe I,

I'd take one to school when I was a kid that somehow the Trinity would be. Just dodging quicksand. I saw something on Friday at the airport that I don't think I've seen before. Have you guys seen the terminal preacher? Like the guy who's just out. Oh, God, I thought sick immediately. No, no, sorry. The guy who's like before security, but you're going back and forth,

there's like baggage claim and here's some ticket encounters. And then here's guys. like handing out literature, can I talk to you for a second? You know, doing evangelizing. Yeah. You have? I mean, in Oklahoma, the Will Rogers. He's just trying to beat the heat, isn't he?

At the airport, though, and he's handing out pamphlets? Definitely. Well, that guy's typically on the street. But there's no way you can do that. That's what I'm saying. There's no way you can do that just outside in the parking lot of the airport. And he was posted up. The preaching people scare me a little bit.

Just like, I was playing DCC the other day and I got a parking deep ellum and there was a car in front of me. And then all of a sudden these five dudes come around the corner and they've all got like the guns strapped around like their legs. You know what I mean? Like those little. Yeah, the two A. Yeah, like the garter belt things, but for men. And they were carrying a sign that said like the devil's real and God is coming. Was there something like a gun and a Bible is scarier than just like a gun by itself?

You know, but I got a premium parking spot. that was free. And they popped the trunk in front of me and they're putting all their stuff and their guns in there. And I'm like, well, I'm not moving. You know? So I just got out and I was like, sonata, huh? And they go, yeah.

And I was like, I don't know what made them choose a sonata, but it was a pretty funny vehicle for five dudes strapped to the nines. It really is. Maybe that's kind of the bit, though. It's economical. Yeah. Good gas mileage. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So, yeah, I don't know. I thought that was odd. I imagine there's some level of solicitation thing, but it's just funny because, you know, you never know where people are coming from. But there's a lot of people walking through DFW Airport who have, they've seen some shit. They've been all over the world. There are people, and the guy was like a dude, seemed like he was just a guy from Texas.

And he's like walking up kind of trying to pitch. He's like, hey, would you like to help with the children of? And this guy's like, where I'm from? No, dude, I'm good. Like you're not, this is not the spot to pitch me charity for, for overseas. I am of the overseas. Yeah. And when you're flying, you're typically already in the hole a little bit.

Right. That's the thing. Nobody's like, oh, you know what? I do have a lot of extra time at the airport. Yeah, and extra money. Yeah. Like, I've already kind of budgeted for this trip. I guess maybe you're throwing the mortality Hail Mary, but I don't know.

Okay. I would like to take this opportunity before. Blake tells you about his weekend to talk to you about our good friends at flooring direct. Lawrence, here's what they're going to do. Oh, yeah. Here's what they're going to do. Don't buy a rug. Don't.

No, they have carpet, but not a rug, okay? They're going to bring the samples out to you. They'll bring the showroom basically out to you. That's the direct part. They'll bring it to you. Carpet, yes. Hardwood, yes. Rugs?

Rugs? No. Okay. FlooringDefW. com. is how you get going with this. You can get your entire flooring project for less than $100 a month. It's such a nice facelift for your home.

If you could just, if you can upgrade the floors and then when you clean them, everything just looks nice. Speaking of dopamine hits, nice new floors, go for it. 36 months, 0% free financing or get your entire project for less than $100 a month. Flooring direct, dfW.com slash DZ, upgrade those floors. the estimate is free. So have them come on out and do that part now. Make sure your carpet matches your floor.

Yeah, definitely. No, or wait, no, curtains. Wait, carpet is floor. The curtains match the carpet. God damn it. I thought he was working for something else, maybe. Clayton, you got anything? Netflix jumped into the MMM.

I'm a world this weekend. Ah. I could see you being MMA guy, Lawrence. Me? Yeah. What makes you think that? Just because like you're somewhat sober, right?

And you're the clean guy and you're like fit. Yeah, I mean. You're kind of Mexican. I've never been in M.A. I think I think growing up in a bad neighborhood, it's like whenever I see physical violence, like there's too much like tied to it. You know, I'm like that doesn't look like fun at all.

There's no recreation to it. Yeah, that doesn't look like fun at all. I think those guys and the fact they do. do it for almost no money speaks a lot to men's health in this country. You know what I mean? Like when you start out at MMA, nobody's paying you to get punched in the face. You're just doing that for the love of it. Got to want it. Yeah. Like you didn't have good parents if you're in MMA.

Like I think that makes sense, right? Like I think it's probably what you, you know, typically would say. It's almost like the male version of porn. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great idea. It is kind of just like boiling society in each role down to like the most basic thing that it'd be like in a vacuum fun if you watch someone do. You see, dude, it's going to be like, I don't know,

you guys beat the shit out of each other. Yeah, I don't want to do it. You go ahead. But was it good? No. No. No. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Hell yeah. It's about as you expected. Five fight card. Four of the five fights finished in the first round. Which is not good. If you're putting, I mean, good for the fighters, I guess. But it's kind of, it's this. this MVP promotions with Jake Paul,

where they're just kind of like putting on these, you know, prize fights, get some big names together who aren't really popular or in any promotion for a while. And, you know, just try to get a draw off of nostalgia or something like that. I mean, it's just Netflix is trying to get into the sports world. I understand, you know, the football is pretty good. I'm enjoying the boxing. The boxing stuff's actually really good

because they're actual boxers that are pretty relevant and popular at the time. But we had five fights, four finished in the first round. The headline was Ronda Rousey and Gina Carrano. Yep. She's still around.

Yeah. Gina Carrano, yeah, as we know, she got fired from Disney for, uh, some views i have no idea what that is she had some hot takes about about what i think it was vaccine related

why was she involved with disney she was in the mandolin oh okay she was in okay she was the mandolin there you go okay and um so she she kind of had been going through some stuff but she came back for this fight hadn't fought in 17 years which should have been a red flag at the beginning. 17 years. Yeah.

She got submitted in like 30 minutes, 30 seconds. Well, it's Rhonda Rousey. Ronica could beat a man. Yeah. She could beat most men. But then the payouts come out and Rhonda Rousey got the most. She's the biggest name on the card. Got 2.2 million for 30 seconds of work, basically.

That's amazing. That's awesome. And then Gina got 1.5, or 1.05. And the whole idea behind it was, like, the fighters are getting more of the money. They're getting money for the promotion, like, doing promotion for the event and stuff like that. But everything online was just kind of like, it's not, there's not as, like, much buildup or, like, interest in this because there's nothing really on the line like UFC. You know, there's not, like, titles or big names. or anything like that.

So it could continue as something, you know, where if you could get some good prize fights together. But overall, it was just kind of a bust. Nobody is going to be able to pay attention to any of these things because we have the White House fight coming. And that's Dana White. Yeah, Dana White was like tweeting during the middle. Like he tweeted out during the middle of the event,

Connor McGregor's comeback. Like a promo for that in September after the, or no in the fight after the White House fight will be Connor McGregor's return and you know that was kind of a contention point online for that just like okay so yeah this took over as soon as you tweet that out explain the White House fight what's happening god I'm glad Dan asked because I'm like I feel like I don't know what's going on in the world for a second here yeah UFC uh Freedom 250 Dan that'll be taking place June 14th 2026 to celebrate America's bicentennial it is a UFC fight on the White House lawn. That's real. That is 100% real. I saw the video the other day of Dana White getting to see the belt for the first time. Somebody had presented it to him.

So that's just four weeks away. Are there going to be fans? Like, how are? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. How embarrassing for all of us. Yeah, I think what you mean by that is kick ass. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Yeah, kick ass. Fucking awesome. The plants want electrolytes. And see, sir, that's exactly right. Feed me. I need my dope. I need my mass opiate. Hold on.

I'm about to get it. It's exit 12, New York. I got to figure out. It says it's the National Comedy Center. I'm about to pass. Ah, okay. Hop in there. Take some lessons.

I wonder what that means. Wait, Jones. James Town. Okay. Exit. Exit 12. If you ever want to, Route 86, Lawrence, the National Comedy Center. It's here.

Okay. Very cool. I didn't even know that was a thing. You can learn everything about comedy. Yeah. Yeah. I think we're going to learn a lot about comedy when we do this White House fight. Yeah. That's hilarious.

And see, this is the thing. Everybody's going to act like this is, oh, man, what is it say about it? This is, if we're going to have society be all weird and everybody's poor, we should at least have fights at the White House. Yeah. Don't do one without the other. I mean, I don't. If we're turning it all the way up.

I don't, you know what? When you say it like that, I don't hate it. Like, screw it. Let's just do it. You know what I mean? Like, Let the winner have sex with Melania. Yeah.

Like, it's, What about? Make it medieval as hell. I want them to, I want the fighters to have cool names though, like food stamps or, uh, you know, WMDs or you know what I mean? Like, they can fight for teams.

Yeah. Uh, let's just really let everybody know where we're headed. Do we go immigrants? You can win your citizenship or do we go like, that's good. Yeah. Homeless person that. that could win

free health care for the rest of their life something like that or you could get a couple people from different religious sex together and the winner gets to rent out that water part free of harassment

that keep everybody else out you can win little prizes I like that about welfare queens yeah yeah yeah and fight against each other for no I want them fighting like Nepo babies

you know what I mean like yeah Yeah, yeah. You got to fight some, some pilled up. Like, somebody who just lives off of, but it's just America. Budweiser profits or something. And they have to fight. Yeah, that's, there's something here. But we're at the ground floor.

We've got the idea of we're fighting at the White House. Yeah. I want like an unemployed homeless veteran in there, you know, where they just don't know who he's going to charge or not. It's funny, too, because, you know, Biden, they had like a poetry slam every summer out there, I think. I said that thinking it was like a joke and then I thought to myself, that might have happened. Was it Obama's inauguration? Or Biden's first one. It was like a poem, right?

Yeah. God, I hate poems. You could forget Biden was president if you just didn't like pay attention to anything. It was nice a little bit. You know, like I'm not even a very political person, but like you could totally forget Biden was president. Right now you can forget that it ever happened almost. Yeah. He has.

Yeah, he definitely has. No doubt. Go ahead. Unless Lawrence actually. Lawrence, you got any, we'll let Blake in. What's a Lawrence weekend like? What was my weekend like? Oh, man. Like, I was on the road.

I was headlining Amarillo. Okay. Yeah. Amarillo. What a shit hole. We got a dollar general downtown. You're not even supposed to have those downtown. The anchor. It's the big store.

Yeah. I had a, I had a, I had a, I had a flashback. I was, you know, my drug days. Like, I thought I'd never been to Amarillo. I'm on the road a lot and I was, I was driving through a town called children. I had like a, oh, I kind of fell through a portal here once. I totally forgot about that. Childress, little small town.

Oh, yeah. I'd rented out a hotel room and I was on the road heading to some casino, somewhere to perform somewhere. And I was going to do some drugs in this room. But the Super 8 had a fire alarm that wouldn't stop going off. So I had to leave that hotel room and just go to a worse one down the street where I could smoke in the hotel room. So it was a weird thing to remember.

I had an emcee drive me. It's a big thing in the comedy world where like your emcees, you know, if you're headlining the MC will come pick you up. That's sweet. You know, they drive, you know? That's like Blake and Steve Burline, actually. So where did he pick you? You pick you here?

They drive out all the way? Yeah, and then he opens for you. Like, he sets everything up and he opens for you. And Danny McGout, great comic. He did an amazing job. But, you know, these younger, I don't know. I'm watching Dan Drive. Like, it's a two-lane road from Dallas to Amarillo, five hours.

and he drove in the passing lane 100% of the time. Doing the speed limit? Yeah. Oh. And at first I kept wanting to tell him to get over. Like, hey, you got to change lanes. And everybody that drove by us, like, women were driving by me and looking at me and like doing this. You know what I mean?

And after a while, I just thought it was a bit. Like, I just couldn't let, I didn't say anything because I was just curious. It kept me, it kept me happy on the road where I was like, I'm going to see if he does this the entire way there. And he did. And he did. And he did. Just ruining people's life. behind us and I refuse to say a word about it.

Yeah, I drove home yesterday, you know, seven hours from Lafayette, New Iberian, and you just see people and I used to honk. Yeah. And that feels like a justified honk. Just kind of I would give them the, hey, you know. But then it occurred to me like they don't care. I think I thought if you let them know they'd like joltz like somebody at a red light, like, oh shit, okay.

But it's not that. It's that they don't care. They don't want to drive that fast and they like being in that lane. We drove by 27 left lane passing only signs. I counted them. And I never told him like, hey, what are you doing? And I just, I really enjoyed how much he was completely, to him, he wasn't doing anything wrong. You know, he was just living his life.

Five hours in a car with someone you don't know. Yeah, I mean, that's a big part of comedy. That's a big part of comedy. I mean, and I've met him a few times, but it's a big part of comedy. I used to, you know, a lot of times you go to a comedy club on the road and they put you in a condo because they don't want to buy a hotel. So you just stay with two people you don't know for four, three or four days. Anything super, you ever get robbed or anything? I never got robbed people.

You know, there would be a guy that'll, like, bring his gun and that'll startle you a little bit. You know what I mean? There's some guy comes out in the middle of the night with a gun and goes, I thought I heard something. I'm like, yeah, I think it was you, man. We're all scared right now. A wacky little bang. Yeah, I'm just playing. Little toothbrush.

Working on prop stuff. And Amarillo was fun, man. I actually had a great time in Emerald. They do these things called Next Stop. And these guys are making a killing. You know, they get the door. They find bars or pool halls and they'll sell it out. And then they pay us, whatever they pay us, put us in a room.

But next stop, I mean, these people are, they're doing a great job. And they're getting us all over the country. Nice. So my birthday was last Friday. Eatsies was very kind enough to bring us food. I don't know if you guys noticed or not, but they didn't bring us any, like, Oreos or cake or anything this time. And I kind of thought I gained the system

because rather than all of us just eat half the Oreos and they go to waste, I told Adam Romo to bring me a cheesecake because I was having a party later that night. Two for one. So I supplied my own party with an Eatsy's cheesecake. Very popular. It's a great call.

It's tricky to navigate because you're asking someone who's giving you something for free for adjustments. on it. Dan and I have been in this situation so many times where we're like, you know, I think we share the, I'd kind of rather just pay if you're going to have to ask somebody to change something, but not Blake. He'll plow ahead. Maybe drizzle a little, uh, little raspberry sauce on there for the birthday boy. Happy birthday, Blake. We'll just use that.

Uh, no, I would like, I would like to see a picture on that cake, but go ahead. Well, my biggest thing is I just, I don't like it being wasted. And just, just, I don't like it being wasted. And just, Over the years, all those Oreos sitting there or sheet cake that just didn't get eaten that just bugged me. So I knew where it would get eaten with 15 people at my house. So I pivoted. Yeah, that's a solid move. First down. Thank you.

First down for sure. And I didn't have, yeah, didn't have to buy it. I did something incredibly lame at my party, but I think it'll mean a lot to me later in life. Oh, God, this is going to suck. Have you seen this trip? Have you seen this trend where you've got a lot of pictures of like yourself at your birthday party? But then this, I saw this like a year or so ago. They give the birthday person the phone and then they flip it around and then they video everyone else in the room.

Because then you can take yourself back to your birthday party like, oh look, my parents were here. Now they're gone. Look at these friends and look how young their kids were. Look at all of these people. And it puts you back in the moment, not a picture of yourself. So I was that guy as they're singing, had my phone out, filming everyone else. Okay. So you're getting happy birthday sung to you?

Yeah. Does somebody else organize your birthday for you? I mean, I invited people over and I guess my wife got the food and stuff. I provided the cheesecake. That makes me sad. I was talking on stage other. I don't know. Yeah.

For my birthday, like, I have friends that I love dearly, you know. But I'm 41 now. Yeah. Like during the, if I got robbed on a Tuesday late at night, like at gunpoint, like I'm just going to bed. Like, there's nobody to call. It's just because you're not married. Yeah. I'm just, you know, trying to forget it happened.

Of course. It's just because you're not married because women make things seem like a bigger deal than they are, which may be the deal that needs to happen, right? Because dudes won't make any deal out of it at all. Yeah. So who's making you do the phone thing, though? The internet. Couldn't you just say I'm not going to do that? He wants to do it

I wanted to Yeah My grandpa was there My parents were there All the kids are young I just thought that would be a nice moment to see I think Clayton's right The whole concept here

Of everyone's singing you happy birthday Is the original sin Yeah Filming it Functionally you're right Definitely You'll have a memory That is cool

Now like with everything the rubber meets the road in, do you hit publish or post? No. And that's probably... You know me better than that. I know, but I'm saying, is that what people are doing?

Yes. There you go. So... I think so. Yeah. It's kind of like when you did the ice bucket challenge and broke your leg,

but then to film it, you were just loving the game. Right. Is that a true story? No. Oh, okay. No, I was actually... Ice bucket. I challenged myself with your time.

No, milk crate. My bed. Whatever. Yeah. No, I enjoy getting my friends together. We don't have very many opportunities with kids stuff on the weekends and stuff. So, yeah, if I can fake them in to come celebrate me, it just as an excuse to get all my friends together and hang out,

then, yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, no, I mean, I think it's a great idea. I think I'm probably just 41 and single. I did get the best gift I've gotten in a really long time from my wife. And when it comes to her, I'm not getting her a whole lot. We don't do Valentine's Day. I don't really get her anything for Mother's Day.

We just kind of have a handshake agreement to like, if neither of us do anything, we can kind of save a lot of time and effort. But she hit this one out of the park, and it's the first picture, Clayton. She got me six gourmet bottles of water from all around the world. Wow.

With a book. It's like a private reserve. With a book called Fine Waters where I could read about each one of them. It's like a water sommelier. Is this your bag? Blake dumped him out and he poured that mountain water. No.

So you're pissing in a jar in your car. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because you're full of fine water. Right. Yeah. That's hilarious. It's an addict.

It's hilarious. pH balance is off the chart. So I love the gift. I can't wait to try them now. Like, I got to wait for a special occasion. I can't just pop that open on a Monday. No doubt. Yeah.

Especially the 22, you age 22 years there. That one's been out. Yeah. really been. I thought this was vodka when I first pulled the picture. No, it's water. Yeah. It's water. It says aqua right there. Yeah, Dan, we had to, uh, we had to let Lawrence know about the concept of the piss bottle. Yeah, I'm hearing about this. We'll be giving away at the Dumb Zone generic summer event. The first 69 attendees. I have a couple at my home. I have, uh, the, like the, there's no bathroom where I get, where at my office is. So sometimes you're on a

call. You know, like, I got to go really bad. You just, yeah, the, to turn the, the thing off and just go, you got the jar, got the bottle right there. I've pissed in a quick trip cup one time. Yeah. Which you pee more than you think you pee. Have you found this for the bottle? Oh, yeah. So much more.

Yeah, I mean, I had like, it was like a large QT cup. And like, I got to the brim of it. And like, we're, we're hitting spill territory pretty hard here, you know? Plus foam. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, some listeners of ours have gifted us some piss jars. So I actually have a couple different to choose from.

Home road. Yeah. Well, there's like an extra large one, which is like an emergency. Right. Yeah. But my point this morning was I have a 35 minute drive in. Do I want to sit there and be miserable for the entire drive? Yeah.

You ever been driving somewhere pulled over to piss and like the bathrooms out of order? Sure. Yeah. There's like, there's hardly, I've like ducked into some closed down bathrooms being like, well, it's sure. It doesn't flood. But like there's somewhere in here. I can pee. Yeah.

But if you got the jar, you could just do it right there in your car. Whatever you want. Yeah. No problem. You're in control. Yeah, that is very true. You know, there's going to be some spillage. Is there spillage?

Not really. No. No? Oh, you guys are perfect. You need to believe you guys are perfect. It's the wide mouth and it's, I did the extendable one today. Extendable one. Extendable to me.

It's like this big and then like you pull it apart. Yeah. It's like pops out like that plastic that expands. Right. Wow. You guys have really gone deep into this. And then it's got a lid. So you just put it there.

Then you get to. where you're going and you pour that. Look, we don't have time to stop to piss. Yeah. It's remind you. I remember an emcee. I was a feature at the time. An emcee, we were on the road, and he reached behind a seat, and he was driving,

and he popped open a water bottle, took a chug of it, and it was the headliner's piss. Ew. That's one way to earn your stripes, I guess. Oh, why would somebody just be carrying that around? Well, it sounds like you guys are carrying it around. You got to get rid of it pretty quickly. Yeah, dude.

You don't want to, yes. At least it was the headliner, right? Yeah, at least it was the headline. Yeah, yeah. We're on our way to Ohio. And so my final thing, this weekend, of course, where I chose to eat was based on who sent me a birthday coupon. Where did I have a free app? Where did I have a free dessert?

Yeah, just marching down the field. This took me to Chili's. I had a free birthday dessert. So chili slabs. It does. Chili's is so back. But in this age of computers, like, they can't. You can't just like go back and tell the cook something or whatever.

They have to put it in and deal with all this kind of stuff. I didn't want a ginormous effing chocolate chip cookie covered in ice cream or a brownie covered in fudge. I wanted two scoops of ice cream. That's all I wanted. It's my birthday. I get to choose. I know. I didn't piss in a piss bottle on the drive here to come in here and be treated the way I don't want to be treated.

So your brownie al-a-mode or whatever or your skillet cookie comes with one scoop of ice cream. That's cool. I would like another one. because I'm saving you the time and the money by subbing the cookie or the brownie. Told the kid, I would like to scoosive ice cream. Charge me for whatever you want, it's going to be free. He brings me a single scoop of ice cream. Yeah, the computer told him to.

Yeah, because that's what comes with your skillet cookie or whatever. Yeah, there's nothing you can do about it. Yeah. There should. Why? I'm sure that the, yeah, there's nothing you can do about it. It's the computer, dude. You can argue with the computer.

No, I just want him to go tell the guy in the back to give me two scoops of ice cream. There's a grown can't. We graduated to this point where we can't say that anymore. It's not how it works, dude. Well, this sucks. I added a place down in Louisiana this weekend, and we go every time. They definitely still have these here. I'm sure South Dallas, probably West Dallas, some places in Fort Worth.

But there's down in that rural part of Louisiana, like restaurants that are just kind of a, shack. Yeah. They've got food until they don't, right? The po-boys there. Dude, I don't know. I might have had 50 fried shrimp this weekend. Like, they fry shrimp at home, like, outside.

It's great. That sounds amazing. It's just, that's a different world. It did challenge my cheese thing. So I had to get home and have some cheese last night. I generally gauge my weekends by how much cheese I had. Yeah? Think about it.

I was eating cheese out of a bag the other night by the light of the fridge. and I said out loud, I just heard myself say it loud, I go, what's your plan long term? And that startled me quite a bit. It doesn't seem good. You like eating cheese out of a bag? Oh, yeah. It's the best.

You ever get some tortilla chips out and just start making nachos by hand? I mean, never feel great after. No, you don't feel good, but you go to sleep right after, you know, you wake up fine. With peace of mind, right? Like when you call Trident Access Services, Blake, TXTXTridid.com. Here's what they do, Lawrence. They take care of your access. points. What does that mean?

Your butt, no, your garage door, your gate, that's what they're here to help you with. Weather, temperature, these things can jack all that up. Big time. So get them to come out and check out that garage door. It's your house's putt. It's good point. It's right. There's stuff going on there, springs, the opener door track, the weather stripping. That's all the stuff that they check when they come out and do a little tune up for you. It's very, very quick. and DZ clients will get 10% off going forward after they get that little checkout done. So if you need work done, like you're remodeling or something like that, it's an old home. You know you need work, then definitely hit them up.

But maybe it's kind of their preventative maintenance. You've just heard things sticking a little bit. It doesn't close exactly like you think it should. Neighborhood kids are stealing beer out of your garage. Sure. Maybe, you know, I don't know. you've got people personally I think the issue here is the weather stripping thing

because I've got like leaves blowing into my garage and it makes me disgusted Lawrence. Oh really? I don't like that. That's something they can take care of for you and they will at tx trident.com called Jeremy and his boys out there is trident access services.

All right, let's do some sports. Sports. From the wonderful world of sports Radio Sports Scoreboard. Oh, yeah, I like that. I have a couple things for you here. The PGA Championship was this weekend, Dan, in Pennsylvania, which I guess, so yesterday, here's the timeline for me on this.

Blake hits me up, and he was watching golf. And I knew that the tournament was in Philadelphia, because as we talked about, they hadn't had it there in a very long time. They hadn't had it there since the PGA said, you can't keep playing here if you're going to have an all-white only charter. And so the PGA moved to California. They hadn't been back there in 60 years. That's all I knew about it.

What I didn't know was it this weekend, or this year anyways, is the 50th anniversary of the release of Rocky. Not a real person. So Blake hit me. up yesterday and is like, hey, are they doing like Philadelphia stuff? Like, what is going on with with the golf tournament today? Like, why are we over, we're leaning into the Philadelphia things? There's the first one. What's the name of the guy? It's, how do you say it? Aaron Rye. Yeah. So this is a putty ad on like, I want to say 17.

The home of Joe Fraser. This was a knockout blow. The home of Joe Frasier. This was a knockout blow. Like, is everyone at home just thinking about, oh, God, Joe Frazier. 68 of feet and a little more. Down for the count. Like, they're really hammering this boxing thing, I guess. Okay, so Joe Frazier, also this is the open, and we're just going to skip around

because Nance got the full, full, you know, note pad out here. opportunity to write and open to the Rocky theme, which he relishes the opportunity here. Think about any accomplishment in your life. What? Where did it begin? How many times did you question the journey and wonder if the reward would be worth it? It goes on for three minutes. I'll skip out a little bit.

He just keeps talking like that. He's quick, too. A major championship bout. Regret, resilience, and that one, the PGA championship rule. And determination are required to win. Undergars. Now listen, if Maws won't stop.

Favorites. Oh my goodness. Former champions. I hate it. I just hate it. I hate that style of writing, of talking. What stories we have to tell them. today.

The next six plus hours, I have a chance to document all the action with this beautiful sight of the monomac with Donald Ross design. What a pleasure it is to sit back and listen to Trevor Emelman alongside Frank Mabelow and Andrew Catalan here in the Super Tower with cold notes. All right, blah, blah, blah. So there you go. Now, six hours.

Six hours. Wow. That is a great song to work out to, though. but not to hear Jim Nansen whisper talking. Well, the funny thing is, is all I could think the whole time is calm down, Greg, it's golf. It's golf because they're trying to make it sound like you, you know, you're out there, you know, just taking punches, trading hits, blow after blow. You're golfing, right? You're still hitting a golf ball.

Yeah. And then you hit it some more. And then if you hit it in a little hole, they have you hit it in a different place. And you tell everyone to be quiet. Unless you work. If somebody sneezes, they get kicked out. Unless you work on the golf course, your life's going okay. Exactly.

There's nothing analogous to getting punched in the face. Yeah. By the way, they were still, they were in Philly, Dan. Next on the team, please welcome from Germany, Maddie Schmidt. A lot of Philadelphia might be saying, wait a minute, did he say Mike Schmidt? The 18-year, Philly legend, baseball hall to fame, 12-time. All-Star. Sounds like it.

From Mike Schmidt to Maddie Schmidt. No one was saying that. No one. In Philadelphia, otherwise, and just the way he brings it back down. The 18-year Philly legend. Baseball Hall of Fame or 12-time All-Star.

Baseball Hall of Fame or 12-time All-Foth. That's so creepy. Diana Ross. By the way, I just entered Pennsylvania. Oh. Isn't that crazy? Pennsylvania. That part of the Colts' Simpsons video has been killing me.

Oh, yeah. And I do remember as a kid, just, I could not stop laughing at the fact that they named a state Pennsylvania. Diana Ross apparently from Philadelphia, or not. As I look at it here, she's from Detroit. So what's the tie in here, Blake? Do you have any idea? No, I looked up the same thing, but it just seemed so random. it had to be for a reason.

But yeah. Here he is. What did he say? Maybe he didn't say Diana Ross. Douglas Ross. Okay, but here's the thing. Are we going with Betsy Ross? Oh, maybe.

He's looking at last names and thinking of how does that match with something in Philly. Right. Interesting. But here's a thing, though. Apparently this fella, who won, is a nice guy. Everyone likes him. So, Nance, he's going to come. Everyone who knows and will say the same thing about Aaron Wright.

Might be the nicest man I've ever met. With Andrew talking about the values that he learned from his parents, talk about how his mom and dad played a role in everything that he does. being grateful and humble. The values that he lives everywhere he goes. That's the word around the tour. The players, the volunteers,

the caddies, maybe now he's going to be a PGA champion. He's not going to change, though. As we go to 17. Okay. What are we just stroking this guy for? So does he, do you think he finishes or spooges when,

like an interview subject, tells him or no wait he's researching on the night before right so he's kind of cranking it as he's scrolling through Wikipedia and he sees mom died oh yeah as a little mom died he loves reading about a mom death oh my gosh that route must affected him uh quick update on our golfer the other day garrick higo that was late Yeah. It cost him a two-stroke penalty on the first day. I think he went like five over the next day.

He missed the cut. Mm. Mm. Why was he late? He was warming up, like, on the green behind his T-box. He was there. He lost track of time. He doesn't wear a watch.

Ah. And he had, like, he would have been in first after the first day without the penalty. Seems like a big moment to not do that. Yeah, but also, like, he was right. He was there. It wasn't like he was, I guess, He's like falling out of a trailer or something. But he looks like a guy that would be late.

That doesn't help. Trust me. I know. I think you should be penalized for being late. I can't stay late. Late knows late. Yeah, it's very true. Let's see here.

Ooh, here's a fun one, Dan. The Cowboys schedules out. You want to do guest the line? Wait, real quick before you leave golf? Yeah. So Aaron Rye plays with two gloves on his hands. Wasn't sure really what to make of that. He said it's a feel thing

Like he's from England and played in the cold He just likes the feel of two gloves Like Ralthusberger Over time started throwing with the glove on his hand Yeah I saw a funny tweet that was like Aaron Rye It was something about his irons his club covers So he plays

Oh he used iron covers Yeah he uses iron covers So I don't know what that means He grew up poor Yeah His dad I guess used his last dollar To buy his kid nice irons So every time he would come home

after using him, his dad would clean him, like, spotless, and the iron covers are to remind him of where he came from. Why do people not like using iron covers? It's a little haughty, and, like, you're using them a lot, like, just to take him off and on. Because I saw, so the tweet I saw was like Aaron Rye uses iron covers to remind him of where he came from and the hard scramble beginnings. and he wears two gloves because it's comfortable. No, it's like, okay, well, that doesn't, like they build it like this whole, this whole thing. So the glove thing's not part of this at all? Yeah, no, he just needs to comfort.

Yeah, you got to stay ready. Yeah, but now I guarantee you at every muni, there's going to be jackasses with two gloves on. I love it. I've already seen it. I love it. You know what, there was another golf thing, too. Here, let's play this. You got the Rory Watch video.

because there was a video of Rory and Brooks. Brooks is back. He's back. He's not good. He's playing. And they were showing each other their watches. And I wanted to show you this Rory McElroy watch. You can play the audio.

It doesn't have to start over. He'll explain it. There hasn't been that many made. It was a gift to myself. $250,000 a watch. FedEx Cup in 2019. Omega. That's the first money.

mine so I sort of had my eye on this watch for a while but I just I wanted to take myself after a win and and yeah pretty cool how often is this one make its way on your wrist I probably wear it too often I like I probably should have it be more special than it is but I just I like it so much and I actually because I used I have a just like a platinum wedding band yeah but because of this this watch I had to get a different wedding band so it matched so that's how much I wear it That's how much you would. And that is, people have been asking about why Hillary lost, whatever, and the difference between that and gay not gay, this is a gay not gay.

That guy got a wedding band to match a watch he liked. Yeah, I didn't like anything about that guy. I don't know nothing about it. Quarter of a million dollar watch. Yeah, and he's like, I wear it so much, I had to get a different wedding ring to match my watch. Anyways, people don't like it. I get emails from people who don't like Rory. Really?

You should be more... This is from Kevin. He said, Rory's a douche. She's had some Kempspin moments, canceling his engagement with Carolyn Wozniakia. A couple days after they had sent out wedding invites. Then he filed for divorce with his current wife because he was sleeping with Amanda Ballionis,

only to reconcile... That's the TV lady, right? That all seems awesome. I know. Only to reconcile with her after receiving public pressure. and I told the guy in response, I'm like, this is all not really above the threshold anymore. No.

Like the president and the other president, it's like. Tiger set the line really high. It's just like, this guy kind of got tired of his wife. He had a different girlfriend and then he stayed with his wife. It's like, this guy's probably not going to make the list. However, getting a watch to match your wedding ring. Yeah. Fight about it on the White House lawn.

That I don't like. Yeah. Yeah. No, he messed up a chip on. 16 or something and told a fan in the gallery to shut the F up. Yeah, I remember that.

He's got a little fire in him. I like it. Carolyn Wozniak, you, by the way, married to David Lee. We're off? No. Former Maverick Great. Oh, okay.

That's a guy who made a lot of money you might have forgot about. New York Nick. Yeah. White that didn't shoot. One of the last of his kind. Yeah, a lot of rebounds. Wow.

Truly. Let's see here. Do you want to run through this Cowboys thing? I thought that would be a fun bit to just rapid fire it. The schedule? Yeah. Let's do it. Because Jimmy sent him out this morning.

All right. Week 1, Dan, at New York Giants. Give me a line. We have the lines for the season? Yes. We're going to do wrap. We'll just go through them here. All right.

Cowboys, two and a half. Ooh. He nailed it. That's nice. That's it? Yeah. Okay. Are you going to counter-guessed, Blake?

You can. I mean, not this one. Just so formatically. Yeah, I'd like to. Okay, week two, home commanders. Home commanders, I'll go three and a half. Minus six.

Minus four and a half. Okay, I'm winning. Two nothing. Okay. Wait. Home Ravens. Neutral sight. Yeah, Rio.

Oh, neutral site? Plus one and a half. Neutral side. Are we doing the Europe? Brazil. Brazil. Brazil. Oh, good.

They never do pick them anymore, right? Because that's what I want to say. I'm saying pick them. Plus two and a half. Plus two and a half. At the Texans. Plus one. Plus one and a half.

Plus two and a half. Damn it. Home bucks. Yeah. Plus two and a half. Excuse me, minus two and a half. Pick them. Minus three and a half.

Damn it. It's crazy. They already have the line. We always do good at the Packers, especially if everything's on the line. Plus three and a half. Plus five. Plus three.

Damn, it's killing it. At Eagles. Maybe we'll stop halfway through or something. At Eagles. The home is Rocky. Week seven. Yeah. The interweens.

Yeah. Plus four and a half. Plus three. It's plus three. So they've got the, basically the Eagles and Packers are the same. And then the Ravens in Rio and At Texans are the same. We keep going here. Look at lines are silly, aren't they?

It's fun, though. It is fun, really because it's telling us what they think about the NFL this year, right? That's just all it is. What's at Seattle? Okay, yeah, we can We can wrap up with some interesting ones At Seattle, you guys guess It's got to be plus seven

Nah, we'll go lower than that Let's go five Four and a half And then we'll do one more Because then there's a buy And they go at Los Angeles Rams That's the last big juicy one Similar, Rams are thought of as a pretty good team

Let me just go five Yeah, it's got to be that Plus five. Five and a half. So, you know, they're, uh, they're getting, they're probably getting overrated a little bit. A little bit. Rams a pretty good team thought of as a good team because they've hoarded all their draft picks. They've, uh, no, no, no, they, uh, they went, they went, they went all in.

Two years ago, I heard. Did you see then that, uh, they've laid the grass down for the, uh, World Cup, the one in Arlington. Like the pitch has been laid? Like inside the building? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Are we going to care about it that much?

We're not really, but it is... We're actually trying to escape. We are. Yeah, my apartments have vending machines that are World Cup vending machines already. Like, it's just World Cup merch inside of it. Do you see it painted over our whale? Yeah, they took down the whales. The wailing wall.

The wailing wall is gone. Which is pretty sad. So this is a, it took quite some time for it to grow, Dan. And they had to bring it down on 24 refrigerated trucks. They, of course, grew this grass in Colorado. Oh, nice. So they grow the grass there, and then they drive it down here on trucks and roll it into the stadium. I would love to see the time lapse.

Is it winter eye or? It's a Kentucky Kentucky Kentucky Kentucky Bluegrass and Ryegrass Mix Love it I love the mix

Yeah How much money does this cost Too much The renovation of the stadium I think Is 300 million Yeah Which is you know

Was stadiums And they lost like a ton Of the seats Ten years ago On the bottom level Yeah The sweets are Covered up

So they're having to do this in New York too Yeah, I think so. And now the NFL players are complaining. They had to dig out Jimmy Hoffa. And the Raider schedule. When is the World Cup? It starts on June 15th.

Oh, right around the corner. So it really is just right around the corner here. Schedule dates out of state. You should rent out your apartment. Yeah, they offer me, they're like, turn your apartment. And I was like, I'm not, no one else is banging in here before I do. You know, they have these World Cup people come down here and take, over my small studio apartment,

me eating my cheese out of my bag. It sounds like Lawrence needs to hit up our friends at Game Day men's health to get himself right for getting laid in this apartment. But it doesn't have to be getting laid. It's just feeling good. Yeah. Just feeling like your

best you. You're getting older, buddy. Yeah, I know. I know I'm getting older. I keep going to the restaurants by my apartment and anytime the staff is nice to me, I keep thinking, is this customer service? No, it's just treating their holders kindly. Yeah, maybe.

But that doesn't mean that you have to just give up. You can go check out Game Day Men's Health. They've got 12 DFW locations, gameday.dumzone.com. Get a little blood test. They'll let you know if you're a candidate for getting on TRT. If you do, you could be 10% off for life. But that's not all they do. They also do peptides.

Maybe you're looking to do something for a month or, you know, just a little run of give yourself a boost. I got a couple injuries I'm trying to work through. It's very good for injury. recovery. Thank you. You are what you eat at gameday.dumzone.com. Peptides are an option. They can also help you with things like hair loss, ED. It all starts with just going in there and saying, hey, help me feel better. And they can do that at gameday. Dot dumzone.com, 12 area locations. Hit them up today. I would like you to do that, Lawrence.

Yeah. I need to do that. Did they do any mental health stuff or is it just physical? No, I think it's all tied together. Dead-ass serious. But you know that, though. Like when you're working out or something and you feel better. You feel, and if you're not tired, you feel better. I see how vascular you are, Jake. You sleep better.

You sleep better the more vascular you are. Yeah, exactly. Get harder for longer. For sure. You know? Make sure that stays in the ad when we send it along. The dungza. The answer is now, wrong.

You do this deal, or I put it. your funding. Well, you can't pull funding because we have a contract, so... Oh, we have a contract? We have a fucking contract, Richard. You want to know what I have? Uh... A fucking car whose doors open like this. Not like this! Not like this! Not like this!

These are not the doors of a billionaire, Richard. Fuck you! Fuck you in the ass. You're listening to the Dumb Zone. Didn't the guy from Crazy Town die? Oh, he did? I think he find him. Oh, yeah.

What a sad day. I know. I know. Jimmy loves that song. Now, had he been killed in some sort of a horrific accident, our friends at Frankl and Frankel would be there to help the family of the come, come, my lady guy, get paid. As long as they call 817 or 214, and then 333, 33, 33, would be there. the Frankles have a lot of experience, Lawrence.

Yeah. They've got a lot of buses, too. They do have a lot of buses, and if one of those buses were to hit you and personally injure you, you would be look up and you would just call the number on side. All right. I'm going to jump in front of one. They would call immediately. See if they stand on business.

They do. They have experience and they have knowledge to win. All right. That's what they're going to do. They're a part of our Dumb Zone generic summer event. That'll be on June 6th at 6th. I had a great time at the last one. It's at Four Corners Brewing Company.

I want to say brewery, but it's brewing company, right over there in the Cedars. We'll have live music from profits and outlaws and Quaker City Nighthawks. We will have food from Connie Roso. You guys not doing comedy this time? You know what we're doing? Not really. We're doing family feud. We're doing like a little show family feud thing.

I've just been collecting things to hold against Jimmy. And the last three days, it's just the universe. versus provided them, and that's one of them. That he was there. Now you can just tell him it was so bad we can't. That's exactly what I'm going to tell them. I'm saying that live here on air. Everything's the same except no Jimmy this year.

That's pretty much it. No comedy. How can we make this better? How can we make this better? I love it. And we made it better by getting air conditioning. It's inside. Community Mechanical.

All right. Shout out to Qualis, Silverback Construction. How water. We'll have a water station Fair Lease. Franklin Frankel, Game Day, Men's Health. And of course, like I said, Connie Rosa will have out there. A couple things to share with the class real quick. I think a quirk of modern society, it almost feels like the mini-disc, like we tried to make this happen, and it just doesn't really

fit. But, hey, here's some content while you're pumping gas at the gas station. Yeah. Is a really failed idea. I don't know. I don't know. Dude. Why? So, um, I was just talking to something. I was just talking to. somebody about this yesterday. Stockton to Malone, dude. No, because they, I don't know where you're going with this, but I was talking to somebody

who works, they're a programmer, but it's for like, well, what do you, they're like a program director, but if, like, Coles, Coles has somebody programming all that music. Yeah. Yeah.

And like when you hear promotional messages and stuff like that. Well, well, they're a freelance program director who, who might work for the company that pipes in the music for Coles, but they also work for a company that pipes in the music to whatever restaurant. They got a fractional prod guy. And I was thinking,

yeah, same thing, because I'll go to that, you know, the little gas, the dirty gas station by your house. Yeah. Our favorite one.

And I'm always wondering, like, who's doing like the sports report? Like they have a little report. It's like a little radio station, but it's just for shell gas stations. Yeah, it's really weird. And you'll see for a while, there was some, there was some lady that was like on dancing with the stars or something. And people are like, oh, she's always on that, whatever.

But they'll do like little sports. And you know, they'll always have a partnership with like fucking Tooby or like Crackle or. Yeah. My TV wants me to watch Tooby so bad. It really, there's, I feel like it's. got to be a sci-up. So I'm getting gas this morning. And they're running a little profile on noted Michigan head coach Sharon Moore,

who is no longer the head coach at Michigan. If you Google him, you will find a mugshot because he was most recently in the news for barricading himself as he tried to kill his mistress and himself. Wow. That was six months ago. And they just haven't, it doesn't get, the update doesn't get to the Shell Station where the guys from the Middle East are on the phone all day. That's hilarious. So they're running like, hey, missing John Bonae Ramsey.

Like four years. Dude, you guys are way out of date. Did we find her? Found her. No. She's Katie Perry. That's right. She's in Blink 182.

So anyways, that's one thing I wanted to share with you guys. And then another one, we got an email from. From Christina, who... Oh, yeah. What's up? What's up, Christina? Almost certainly a lady, right? Is this customer service?

Dude, we got jacked up on a... Somebody was emailing us named Cass for a long time. I damn near sent the dick pick. Yeah. So hot. And then we showed up at the apartment, and the dude looks like he's a offensive tackle. He's a big fella named Cass. Oh, really?

Yeah. And then you definitely sent the dick pick. Yeah. So he's going to send you one back. She sent this, it's a little choppy. We'll play clean audio after. But who is this, Blake? Because apparently he's an ace now.

This is Tamayuki Sagano. Doesn't take much for the Rockies. Well, I'm just saying they've got a, there's a new fan-fave Asian pitcher. He's big. He's not new either. Like he came over at 35 or something. But I guess he's been dealing.

And he got sick the other night. This is from their local NBC affiliate up in Denver. Just feel like throwing up and diarrhea. That's on a pleasant day of work, we can agree. His stomach is failing him, but Tomoyuku Sagano has guts. Somewhere between not

giving up runs and fighting them not themselves. The Rockies have himself a warrior on the mouth. What do you mean? You talked over the best line there. Somewhere between fighting off the runs and not giving him up himself. Which is great. How many punch lines can you have? All of a sudden.

The diarrhea thing came from his translator. He couldn't clean that up just a little bit. No, it's funny, too. I have, it's funny. This is the, the podcast game. Hold on, I'll flip it back over here. Of course, makes us think of Chanho Park. Once upon a time I was asked about this, but here's the Rocky Pitcher one.

Hey, Tom, why didn't you feel upset stomach? Can he tell us? It's just electric feel banging in the background. This guy talks to his stomach problems. upset stomach can you tell us what was going on? Did that affect it all during the game in terms of? Yes, of course it did. Every single time I had to go to the stretch.

I was worried I was going to. We wear white pants. God, that's rough. I like the idea of being so good at something you don't have to speak to language. Yeah. You know, like, that's something. There's something cool about that. You know what I mean?

That would be cool. Like, if you expire. Play the video again. I'm sorry, I talked over it. Yeah, no, I think the guy's got bars. It's good lines there. And he's confident. Just feel like throwing up and diarrhea.

That's not a pleasant day of work. We can agree. His stomach is failing him, but Tomoyuku Sagano has guts. somewhere between not giving up runs and fighting them off themselves. The Rockies have themselves a warrior on the mound. Hey, I'm just hearing a guy destroying.

Does that make you a warrior on the mound? I've been a warrior on the mound several times, you know what I mean? I didn't realize that, you know, kind of same mentality. Lawrence, you may not be familiar with former rangers and several stops in the MLB pitcher in MLB Chanho Park, Asian pitcher.

He answered for himself. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, sick. I had a lot of diarrhea. That's what you want to know? Your manager said you were sick. Yeah, I had a other diarrhea.

I know. I'm too long, I'm going to be. Yeah, I had a diarrhea and then... Why? Why? It's funny? No. I mean... Oh, for a lot.

You think. Save it. Yeah. Off day, I had a lot of diarrhea. And I feel afraid. For what I did yesterday, I was fruit too, like a little, a lot of cough. Anyways, is he being interviewed by school children? No, I think Jova Chamberlain or somebody was in the background.

Joba Chamberlain. I swear I think it was. It might have been, it was somebody like that that was, and he just could not. get over the concept of an Asian guy saying diarrhea. I mean, it is, it is a funny thing. And he just kept saying it over and over and over. Let's see, there's anything else we want to do before we, what else we got? It's weird.

That's just the culture, right? The culture you don't. Just saying it. I was talking to my mom about, you know, her book where she learned about her first period and all that. Yeah. And she was saying, like, when she was that age, or even in pop culture, you couldn't say the word pregnant. Like, her grandma never would say the word pregnant to her. Yeah.

Interesting. They might, they dance around it. But I guess if you said the word, then you know there was some fucking. Yeah. Like, somebody came inside me recently. In a motherly way. Yeah. And I mean, that is that that, that is the end product there.

right? Like when people, it's like we always talk about when somebody comes over and the uncle's like, hey, you guys trying to have kids or not? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Am I leaving that thing in? Yeah. Raw. Unwrapped. No, we're just, we're just, putting it on her back. Just putting it on her back. Yeah. We're not that serious. Yeah. Almost done with the left nipple. Yeah. That's hilarious. I don't know. We could do some news unless you want to talk about why it is, hey, listen. And Jock Peterson, why don't you hit leadoff? And if you're not going to hit lead off, how about cleanup?

He's making the most money, I guess. I give up. No, I don't give up. What do you mean? They put him at cleanup? He hit lead off for a few games. He had one lead off fucking home run, which is the worst possible thing that could have happened. First game, right?

By far, yes. They wrote it for a few games, and they put him at cleanup because they don't have anybody who can hit, Dan. Nemo doesn't hit anymore. Seeger's busted. Langford's still out. Josh Young is fine, but they can't hit. They don't have anybody who can hit. They strike out too much.

They don't walk enough. Burger's back. Burger's back. And so, yes, Berger will hit a two, three run, home run every game and give you a chance. It sucks because their rotation is still good. Skip Schumacher. You know, you just need to have bits. It's so much easier if you're a baseball manager if you have bits.

Because when you just look like that, and guys are getting picked off on first, and it's happening kind of a lot. actually. It's really easy to get upset with you. This is why Gabe had such a hard time with like Spike-esque, not Spike Howard-esque. Right. We need Ron Washington back. You do. I think baseball managers need to be fat or smoke. That was the coolest thing when you just look over and he's just... Yeah. With a secret sing. They just have to be different, you're saying? I think so. I really do think that in that game it needs to be just something.

you know, like we're playing the other day, George Brett talking for five minutes about accidentally crapping his pants. Yeah. What about a trans manager? I'm sorry, Dan. Dan, what was that? A trans manager?

A trans manager? Yeah. Okay, just keeping it interesting. And it's maybe sort of fluid where day to day. Sure. How you feeling? I think it's weird the other day Jason Collins died. And, um...

Really? He was the first... Was he like 50? Not even, bro. That scares me when I'm. I think it might have been an aneurism. But he was a NBA player who came out as gay at the end of his career. I don't think you ever was active as an NBA player when he was active as a gay man, or out, you know?

But he was kind of thought of as the guy who came out. And I heard the ticket talking about this. I know that I don't know what you call it when you do transition. But how is Bruce Jenner? Like, doesn't Bruce Jenner as Caitlin Jenner have sex with men? Has she gone back? Caitlin Jenner? Caitlin Jenner is still a female.

Okay. It's Caitlin Jenner. I guess I don't know who that woman is romantic with, but. Stayed gritty. There's a world where. best athlete who is gay would be best athlete who has, you know, sucked someone off who doesn't have a vagina. Like how Bruce Jenner is the best, I don't know.

You guys not see what I'm saying here? No, I lost you at the beginning of it. Yeah. Are you saying, does he have sex with men? Well, yeah, kind of. Because what I'm saying is if you're looking for, they were saying you need a big dominant athlete, like a superstar athlete who is gay to destigmatize that.

And Bruce Jenner, while not gay, did sort of undergo a thing that... I don't know. Right. You would think... I just go. You think you'd talk about that part of it more, but you don't. I don't even tell people if they're pregnant or not. So that was hard for me.

Yeah. And it's probably just because she's too busy killing people with her car. Oh yeah, I remember that, which is something that does happen. Three Dallas PD officers injured over the weekend. No deaths here. This occurred as the three of them, friends, buddies, were, uh... Sounds like it might be hilarious. In a private, or they were in a plane.

Like they're not doing plane. This just sort of ties into my theory, though, about the adrenaline, the dopamine thing, whatever. got to be a lot of guys who are police officers who are doing stuff like that. What were they doing? Flying a plane. I'm not getting a little-ass plane. Just drive flying around out. They crashed 40.

They were all injured? Yeah. But they're alive? Yeah. Okay. All right. It happened after midnight Saturday night. So you're just out Saturday night like cruising small plane with the fellas.

Yeah. Like there's people doing that. It was after midnight. Is there alcohol involved? I, dude, I bet you that, That is so dangerous that, like, if you wrecked and they could, I mean, maybe. But it feels like if you wreck and then they show up and you add alcohol. Do you think cops are worried about that?

Yeah, maybe not. A little con air situation going on. It sounds pretty badass. It does. And the fact they survived. Yeah. You know? Tough guys.

I wonder if they get in trouble for that. You got the license. Yeah. You're allowed to wreck a plane. You have a license. Wild story that I saw out of Galveston that was reported last week. There was a couple that had driven in from Wichita, Kansas. Ooh, just got back from there.

And how was it? Lovely this time of year? No, I mean, I've been going there for 10 years. It's as terrible as it's always been. I love it, though. I love Wichita. I do love Wichita. Yeah, doing comedy for...

I would hope so. Yeah, it's playing some bar show. They had a green room. They took me down to it. And it was a place where people film snuff films or something. And I asked to please take me back upstairs. Yeah. So what happened in Galveston?

So there's a couple down there from Wichdall, Kansas. They're meeting the husband. They're meeting his parents. They come in from Denver. They're all going to go on a cruise together. Carnival Breeze. And they're down there eating at one of these places off. the pier in in galveston you know the typical move dan you've got if you're driving on the seaside

you're going to have a bunch of these type places where there's a long walkway out to the ocean and then the building is like it actually on the ocean right you can fish usually probably fried shrimp things of this nature terrible town i fucking love galveston you do yeah isn't this can't you see like the fire burning in the background and the oil yeah the oil burning in the background and from the dirty beach and they got a two-story water burger. I love it. I think I like the Selena statue. I love

everything about it. But in this case, these people are there eating waiting for their cruise. And a bird comes down. Okay. And there's some commotion and the resulting

commotion knocks their keys into the ocean. And it's not just their keys. it's their parents' keys that they had hooked together to make sure that they would not lose all their keys before they got on the boat. That's awesome. Yeah.

Fell into the water. And, you know, it's hard to tell without this picture, but, you know, you're out. It's probably five to ten feet, but it's the ocean. You know, you're not just up, like, right where you could walk out into it. That's so curb. It really is. You always lose your keys.

Here, I'm going to lock them on to mine. Yeah. And then a bird? Yeah. So this guy was going to get in. His wife's like absolutely not. It's about 14 feet deep right there. Actually, and the reason we know it's 14 feet deep, fast forward to the end.

They posted on a Facebook page, hey, we're leaving, but if anybody can find this, please, whatever. And there was a Marine that lived down there. Got nothing to do. He had dive experience and was like, F it, I'll try. And he found the keys. Oh. Yeah. Like a couple days later.

They were already starting to get like corroded. But he said that they work. But he found him while they were gone. Local hero. Yeah. Does say the guy gave him a reward, but it doesn't say what. Yeah, that's interesting. I wonder what.

I know. I'm thinking, why do you not ask? Follow up. It says a tidy reward. Run at his wife. Why not? How bad do you want these kids? he's back. Yeah, I mean, it's a currency, you know.

After a cruise, you're tired of her. Yeah, that's probably true. A guy graduated from SMU over the weekend. This is quite the story. It is a dude who had already been in prison under the three strikes law. Ooh. He was sentenced to life without parole at the age of 20. 22.

He, uh, yeah, for what? It was, uh, drug arrests. All right. Uh,

mother suffered extreme crack cocaine addiction. Suffered drugs because he thought it was a way to escape poverty, he says. So he had the three strikes you're out. He's going away forever at 22. And then in 2021, he was paroled. After Donald Trump. met with Kim Kardashian.

I remember. When she was trying to be a lawyer. Yeah. Yeah. So I think they met during Trump one. He actually ended up getting out like a year later in 2021. But yes, she kept failing the bar exam. That's a funny one.

Really brings people together to see Kim Kardashian repeatedly fail the bar exam. What can she do? What can she do? Yeah. What can she do? I love her getting criminals out Like my mom served 25 the life For real the what do they call it the paragraph

The mandatory Some sort of what For what Oh for me? Yeah I think the last of the third F the third felony was Assault with a motorized vehicle

Is she still in? No no she got out early She's doing great She's doing great in life Real proud of her What was the assault with a motorized vehicle story I think it was the next boyfriend. From the story I heard, he said,

what are you going to do, bitch? Hit me with your car. You said your mom was the white one? Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I see how your dad was interested.

Yeah. My dad died recently. It's a real funny story. Okay. Well, you didn't have to do that. But while we're here, were you on good terms by any chance? Oh, my father and I? No, I don't know if I should have a story.

This story might sound like a psychopath. You know, my dad, I hadn't talked to him in like 35 years, and I get a phone call. they're like, yeah, your dad died last night. Damn, dude. And I was like, okay. And he's like, well, it's his birthday. All right.

He died on his birthday? Yeah, on his birthday. He was leaving the Dallas site. The Dallas site down the street, not too far from here. Popular little bike or drinker hole. And so I went over there kind of just to investigate for myself. Because I hadn't talked to him 35 years. And at the end of the bar, there is a comic that I know, Palos.

And he sees me, we start talking. And I ask him, I go, did you know my father? Larry Rosales and he goes, yeah, he would always ask me how my shows were going, tell me he was proud of me. And I was like, oh, well, just tell me how he died. And apparently my dad was leaving this bar. He got hit on the side, but it wasn't his fault.

But, you know, he's super, you know, blackout drunks or whatever. So we try this stuff fly around the other side of the building real quick. It's like flee this accident. And he smashed into a pillar and was ejected from the front window. You could see all the police tape around it, where he slapped into a sign for a business called Smile Orthodontics. And, you know, my response to that was at least you didn't get a DUI. You know what I mean?

That'll mess your life up. Yeah. So, you know, probably worked out for him in the end, I guess. That's was probably cheaper. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. So shout out dead dads. So.

That affects you, Jake? No, I love it. You love it? Okay. I love it. All right. I love it. Dan, this one's for you, buddy.

The FBI announced over the weekend that they have upped their reward to $200,000 for information that leads to the discovery and prosecution of a woman named Monica Witt, who is from El Paso. Oh, I love El Paso. Now, I've got an image on the screen there with three images, the one on the screen. the left and the one on the right are monica she was uh in the air force oh and she was trying to give she is a where for uh former air force intelligence specialist she served from 97 to 08 and then had a high level defense contractor clearance until 2010 and they believe that she defected or abandoned her allegiance to America and has sworn herself

to the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. So this woman has fully, and this lady is as white lady. Her name is Monica Witt. She looks like any lady I went to high school with. Yeah. And she feels that she's, it's like if you're a lady inside a man's body, right?

Same thing? Yeah. She's Iranian on the inside. She's trans. She's Muslim. So here's the thing. She speaks, I think fluent. I don't mean this sounds stupid, but are all three of those her?

Well, the middle one is not. The middle one is a, this is what we think we look like if she was a Muslim. But she's very fluent in multiple languages. So I guess she got in and they say that she appeared at a couple of different, like, conferences over there where they believe she gave them a bunch of information, direct support to multiple terrorist organizations, which could be bullshit. But the point is, nobody can find this lady,

which is kind of hot. Yeah, it's pretty badass. Where's the last place? Boy, it might have been El Paso. Okay. I'll look for. You're on the other side of the country. Yeah, I'll keep my eyes up.

That's probably where she is. Anyways, down in Houston over the weekend, they had a gathering of the tolls. Of the talls? Yeah. They have something called the tall tour. And, you know, it's basically just let's get all of the local media out here. But it's a Houston bar that hosts the, hey, if you're tall, come on down. What's the, you must be this tall to enter?

It's what is the height? Did you and Dan get in? Yes. Sorry, Blake. I didn't want to go anyway. Yeah, Blake, we'll be fine. Take our pitch jars and get out of here. Yeah.

I wish you could go. It is kind of, the, the pictures are very funny. Just a ton of people all together. I think it'd be fun just to go, just to go stare at them, point at them, gawk at them. Like what would be the purpose for these people needing to network, though, other than dating? Do you know what I mean? Selling an old bed?

Yeah. Maybe that's true. Because like you hear about like, you know, there'll be young. There was a thing I remember seeing on vacation one time, young black professionals. And it was like a networking organization. That makes sense. Yeah, okay. Because like people, it's like Aggies, right?

thank you all right we're going to look out for each other but is that really a thing for tall people i feel like tall people like you know get looked out for by everybody right you know what i mean you guys do have an easier life yeah yeah blake and i are down here fighting you know for scraps grinding yeah grinding and grit as uh the guy from the golf would say um 5 8 for women 6 1 for men oh 5 8 for a 1 that's not that tall you ever slept with the woman taller than you No. No? Blake?

No. Okay. All right. What's it like? Uncomfortable. You know what I mean? Kind of feel like you're letting everybody down at all times, you know? I don't know.

I'm just going to pat you on your head. Yeah. I don't know. I would feel like an underdog. An underdog? I would feel like something, you know, something was being requested of me, you know? Answer the bell. Rice at the occasion.

Yeah. Yeah. Get gritty. Uh-oh. I don't know. I could see it. Yeah. I can see rising.

It's the occasion, as it were. Oh, let's play this video that I saw on Dallas, Texas TV. Boy. That's the thing. Oh, what? What? Dude, if you're trying to write comedy, you need to be just, you need to just be mainlining Dallas, Texas TV. Where do you get this?

And it's just like if you wake up on a Saturday or Sunday, you can just see all the fights. That's how it started. Oh, really? But it's way more than that now. Like if somebody gets, a ride gets stuck at six flags or whatever dumb, you know. And there's a police chase on foot. Police chase is big. Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. Now, I do not know how to say this word, but I'm going to let Google try to say it for me. But it's a type of watch. And this is a video of them releasing this type of watch. Otomars Pagway. Otomars Pagway. Was this at North Park or whatever they were doing this? Yeah.

Yeah. This is at North Park. Dan, this is at 4 a.m. You have, like, Cowboys Party Pass level crowds. At 4 a.m. To get a watch. It's more than that. What do you mean?

It's more than that. Yeah, what is that mean? So Swatch and Otomar's BK are doing a collab. Gay. This collab is just, I can't. APs are probably some of the most expensive watches out there. The Royal Oak is their most, like, iconic look to a watch. Are you watch guy?

Apparently. There's precious metals and watches, baby. I know, but they just seem less functional, right? Like, everything else you're into is, like, yeah, you're going to need one day. Maybe, yeah, but the... It's an interesting market to follow. So all of these guys can afford one of these watches? How much is one of these watches?

They're $300. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I thought they were going to be super expensive. Normally, like, the cheapest ones in the 30s. I think what the deal is is they're going to resale for a ton. So you go buy the Pokemon and I don't know why I said it like that and sell it for 10X. Yeah, that's what all these people are doing. They're not there to own it.

They're going to try to flip it for like three or four K. There's almost something about that video that makes me feel good. Like to see that people are still living like this, like analog in real light. You've succeeded to a point where you don't have to do that. Not even that. That it seems like kind of life is this all going online, right? Yeah. Like we talked about, we used to go line up at GameStop for games to come out.

Remember when chicken sandwiches that Popeyes was like a big deal and everybody was lying? Right before COVID happened? Yeah. It was a big event. Yeah. It was a big event. And I like that one because it's like I could afford this. You know what I can get this Popeye's line.

Lower resale value. Yeah, very much a lower resale value. There were people reselling a value. Definitely. There were? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

People buying up. That's hilarious. People buying bulk. I worry about our economy. I was staying at an econo lodge and it's just like the van life, which you see when you're on the road a lot, is like I just, you see a lot of people aspiring to be homeless. And, uh. Yeah, there's something to that with like tiny homes a little bit.

Like there's something. I think there's, you want to kind of try to strip things down. I get that urge to be like, I got too much shit. But like, you know those like Jeep gladiators? Yeah. It was like $80,000 cars. I saw one of these in a Cracker Barrow Parkin lot, and the guy's, like, sleeping on top of it in one of those campers,

and then he's cooking behind it. And I'm like, that's, it's just still, like, an $80,000 vehicles. Like, this is not a good sign for where our countries. He's got a TikTok. He's doing it for views. That's a thing. Oh, 100%. Well, I see people, and they're basically saying I'm homeless.

So, like, I couldn't be homeless in this van without these Dura cell batteries. And it's like, all right, this is what we're doing. They're choosing that life. They are choosing it. It's weird. And elementary school in San Antonio took Dan's idea, sort of. Tell me if you think we should be saluting these kids for that. This is in Alamo Heights in San Antonio.

300 first and second graders in Heights Independent School District completed a full marathon. Wow. That's impressive. Since the start of the year. Are they just tracking steps at recess? What are they doing? They are. They have a marathon map.

Basically, you know how it is. Like, you're at recess and you move, see how far you moved for, so they give you the 26.2 sticker for your little. Okay, that's incredibly lame. They're geotagging the kids. Right. That's all it is. It's just an effort to put GPS.

Where do you fall on that? like when your son, right, gets a, the ability to have a phone or something. Like, you know, the argument is they get the phone earlier and it's a safety thing. Yeah, I mean, I just come from a different generation. So, like, his mom, every time, like, I have him by myself, I always forget that he's got a tracker in his shoe. And my phone will start pinging like, hey, you know, you're next to an air tag.

And at first I was confused, but it's just in his shoe. Oh, yeah. But, you know, I don't know. I don't have as much of those concerns. But his mom the other day, we were at the mall together, and his mom got mad at me because we were in the bathroom for a long time because we had to wait for a stall. And his mom was like, you know, I texted you and your phone was on silent

and I called you, you didn't answer. I was worried about him. I'm like, he's with me. Like, his mom's, like, moms, you're amazing. But like, like, the kid is technically safer with the father. Can we agree with you? At the end of the day. At the end of the day, like, what are you benching?

You know what I mean? Let me see your 20 times. Like, what are you worried about? I'm like, we've been divorced six years and you're safer when you're with me. You know what I mean? Like, what? I don't know. First step.

Yeah. Moms, you're great. Mother's Day. I hope you enjoyed it. But the kid is technically safer with the father. I thought you're about to say something. You're just basking in the globe. All right, there's your news.

The Dumb Zone News. Like and subscribe. That was a good news. Happy birthday. Thank you. This has a bed. And it's brought to you, Blake, by our good friends at Fair Lease. Let's say that you're an idiot.

Okay. Like Mike Soroy. And you went and got a lease at some other company. They will help you get out of that lease. By the grace of God. 972-705-4815. Connor or Nick at Fairlease. That's what they do.

That's why they can be flexible. They're backed by the Credit Union to Texas. They are a community bank. They're here to give you the best rate. When things are going well for the credit union of Texas, they take that money and they put it back into their customers with better rates. That's how Fair Lease works. That's to say nothing of the fact that they can get you whatever car you want.

They can get you whatever vehicle you need for your business. Whatever it is you need, do it with Fairlease at Fairlease.org, Blake. Let's see. Dear Uncle Daniel or 42, Blake, I'd like to wish my son Ian James a very late, Happy 17th birthday on April 28th. What are we doing? Are we doing this? Anyway, my leaders are the Lake Arlington's Al, what?

Big supporter of our show. He had a few things going on. He emails us a week late. You guys are up for his ass. Yeah. It's like to report. The second tower is still standing? What?

Do we find John Panay Ramsey? Yeah, I do want to know. Yeah. Does he have details on show? Tron Moore. Yeah, I mean. Herschel Walker traded. Why not?

You know what? How old is the kid? 17. While we're at it, let's do one for 16. Because that wasn't that long ago either. Yeah. And probably 15, too, while we're at it. Happy 15th.

Sounds like a great bad. We missed all those. This guy's leaders are the Lake Arlington's alligator showing down on unlimited poncho soap of pias. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. And Ava's new Indian name projected on the Jumbotron. Long-lived the Dillip the Dism.

Discord T. Dizzle. Oh, yeah. Any AI? It's probably too white for them to need it. At your graduation, Dan. Okay, I'll give you that. Like, they said, my daughter, it's a real liberal college, and it's into, you know, their art. Right.

They're really into art and communications, all that. So before the thing, she said, everybody would revolt if they tried using AI. Yeah. Because you'd be taking a job, blah, blah, blah. And then they used AI. Wow. Okay, well, that's something I want to talk about tomorrow

because that was big today and Twitter this weekend is college deans getting booed at commencement ceremonies over AI stuff. That's why. So in Plano, Lawrence, they took a lot of heat. My alumni, Plano. Did you graduate from Plano High School? Senior High, yeah. So they took a lot of heat for seemingly trying to do the right thing,

which is they announced that they were going to have all of the, names for graduation read by AI because they were tired of gringoes probably or whatever messing up yeah that's a great idea indian names and people are like what we can't get it right you know yeah damned if you do anywho one more dearest hogmonger dude yeah hog mother hogmogger oh okay today is the chris gronkowski on the cowboy's birthday of day one df and chair of the denver b hive Steve Miracle. This marks our sixth year of riding in for each other's birthdays, and while I would say it's not gay, he just built a cateo, so I'm beginning to have my doubts.

What's a cateo? What is a cation? I had to look up the pronunciation of this. It's basically just like a birdhouse for your cat. Extended, like an extended patio. Yeah. For your cat, okay. Or like a greenhouse for your cat.

That's really... But the people that do it right, it's an extension of their patsyoteo. for their cat. I've been thinking about getting a cat, but I don't want to give up on myself yet. You're not there yet. Okay. I would go back to meth before cat. Speaking of, uh, bogging, did you guys see Klaav was in court?

I didn't know what any of that sentence meant. Yeah. No. Yeah, it was the thing from before. Do you remember when I told you that he might have been in trouble for shooting at a alligator? Who told on him? The alligator? No, they live streamed it.

Oh, okay. Yeah. They were shooting at a dead alligator, but they had to go to court. And I don't know how the legal system works. I feel like they can just pull strings and this happens and that happens because the judge that clavicular and his looks maxing buddy ended up in front of is like the hottest dude in the world. Like he's the most bachelor contestant looking chad. He's like a man, you know?

He makes clavicular look like a boy. and he's a judge. And so the whole internet is just like, oh shit, he got looks bags, he got mugged by, he got judicial mobbed by an actual. So stupid. That's hilarious.

What a funny way to end up in court. Yeah. They don't play about stuff like that down there, dude. And that people down there will tell you that. You know, like Clayton's a big hunting guy. That's why I, big part of the reason I don't like doing it

is there are a lot of laws and shit that can go wrong. But you can't shoot a, dead alligator. No. All right. Well, filing a car. Ridiculous. I learned, yeah, that is ridiculous, especially in America. Not top 10 in freedom. Dude, you know what it is? It's the same thing as like why you don't want to go out, like just blowing up villages overseas or whatever. You start unloading into that alligator, a bunch of other alligators over there watching, reading their religious texts, which they're misinterpreting to think that they need to now rise up as

alligators. Now you're on a fan boat. They're tied to your fan board. You don't want to radicalize them. Fly a plane into Disney. Boy, somebody's going to do it eventually. Yeah, maybe. I got an Iron Dome over that thing. So Cadillo's guys. We do need to Iron Dune, Disney. That's great.

His leader is Dale Hanson's attention span when anyone other than Dale Hanson is talking. He's still alive. Yeah, we had him on like two weeks ago. Oh, really? Awesome. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah. I used to hate him when I was a child. I'm glad to hear he's. awesome. Yeah. Do you remember trying to read like a viewer mail birthday in front of Dale Hanson that didn't talk about Dale? I think we might have tried one or two and then

kind of all right. Like just yeah anything he couldn't. Right. Dale pretty proud of Dale. Yeah. Awesome. Why not? He should be. Yeah. Yeah. Looking forward to blasting another lung dart with Jake outside the dive in soon from Denver

D.F. Jesse. Oh man. That was great. That's probably the last. cigarette I had. I keep taking them with me everywhere and not smoking them. Oh, good for you. No. I want to smoke a cigarette every now and then. Yeah, but I mean, but you're not smoking them. But I like the idea of whenever I'm trying to quit something like having it around a little bit, somehow helps. Yeah. I think that's what they recommend. I'll drink less, but with a bottle of wine in the house. That's what they do. That's what they recommend for all drug users. Yeah. Just kind of keep it on end. Yeah. Oh, you're being sarcastic. I was being serious. Okay. Yeah. Well, you

haven't needed a cigarette in a while because you are a baby Lucy guy. That's right. Lucy.com slash dumbzone. That's how I get my nicotine. 100% pure nicotine pouches, always tobacco free. It's clean. It's a nice, nice fresh feel. I like the 8 milligram apple ice. They got the breaker in them. But they've got gum. They've got the ones that don't have the breaker. They go up to 12 milligram. These are the best nicotine pouches you're going to find. It's pretty simple. The fact that they even have the other ones I kind of forget about and then randomly someone will hand one to me put in your mouth and this is disgusting. There is a difference. Lucy.com slash dumbzone will get you 20% off your first order when you buy online with promo code dumbzone.

You can also use their store locator to find Lucy near you. They do have it in some stores. But why not just do it online? Lucy.com slash dumbzone. The dumb zone presents. In history. We are about to enter. Ohio.

There we are. We're in Ohio. God, it happened so fast up there. You already drove through Pennsylvania. Yeah. I've been in three states since you started the show. Texas is too big. I bet you're cleaning up on the license plate game.

She's just playing by himself. Today is Monday, May 18th, the 138th day of 2026. On this date in 1910, Haley's comet passed by Earth, brushing it with its tail. Ooh, according to who? Lake, Lake Left Town. Yeah. No, that was probably my first, what year you say?

1910. Okay. Because something that happened with this comet in the 90s was my first, like, cult thing. Was that Heaven's Gate? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I've seen the Hulu.

Haley Bob. Yeah. Yeah. In 1927, in America's deadliest school attack, part of a schoolhouse in Bath Township, Michigan, was blown up with explosives planted by local farmer Andrew Kehoe. Who then set off a bomb in his truck. The attacks killed 38 children and six adults,

including Kehoe, who'd earlier killed his wife. Damn, dude, this is throwback. Should have gone to men's health. Yeah. This is Columbine. Do you think he... Would he be proud if he saw... Columbine? No, because Columbine failed.

Okay, not to kill the bit, because I am actually interested in this. This is sort of Columbiney, but it's not, because the guy wasn't that young. No, no, no. But here's the quick backstory. He was the school board treasurer. Okay. And he was angered by increased taxes and being defeated in that April's election for township clerk. It was not by locals that he had planned revenge following his defeat.

He had a reputation as a difficult man. And he had just been foreclosed on in his mortgage. From the next year, he secretly purchased explosives and hid them on his property and under the school. I like staying angry for a year. Dude, the election he lost was April of 1926. The bombing was May of 1926. He just stewed for a year Yeah, what else are you going to do, man?

You don't have a job? You know what I mean? And he killed his wife too? Like, damn, dude. Props for figuring out how to plant these explosives successfully? I mean, no internet and you've got to learn how to build a bomb. He didn't have YouTube. Yeah.

It's not easy. Like 9-11, you ever gotten on a flight and seen how many people are on it? Like, how did they do that? Yeah. In 1980, the Mount St. Helens volcano in Washington State Expected. What was it? Sorry. Mount St. Helens killed 57 people on this day in 1980. Yep. Just blown up.

Here, let me stand by this volcano. Oh, solid. In 1981, the New York native, a gay newspaper carried a story concerning rumors of an exotic new disease amongst homosexuals. It was the first published report about what came to be known as AIDS. Hell yeah, full-blown AIDS. Do we still have AIDS? That's still going on? Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's quite the epidemic that it used to be, but because they have medicine for HIV now, right?

So you... Yeah, I see it on commercials. Like, they're like, do you have HIV? And I'm like, how many people are here? Quite often. Yeah. Happening the old IV. Yep.

My grandpa, not a fan of those commercials. Oh, really? Yeah. You get triggered by it? Well... He just doesn't like seeing dudes kiss. You got to think about it. He went his whole life.

Really not thinking he'd ever have to see that. Now he's sitting down for Titans, Patriots. It's like, have you got AIDS? And he's like, oh, man, I'm so tired of this. You know? I go to church every Sunday. Does he hate it because it makes him get a boner? Yeah.

No, it was actually sad when he told me because he just looked at me in my eyes and said, I wish I'd have gone my whole life without seeing that. Well, how old is he? 93. He almost made it, didn't you? I know, he's at the end, and they slap this on him. Yeah.

The last thing you see is an AIDS commercial. Does he know about Bruce Jenner? I doubt it. I really doubt it. In 1997, Tiger Woods continued his climb to the top of the PGA tour after winning the Byron Nelson. Woods... With like his B game or something, right? Woods was playing...

Woods was playing in his first tournament since his record-setting Masters victory last. last month, it was his third victory of the year, and his fifth and 16 events since turning pro. Woods carded a two under par 68 to finish 17 under, matching the tournament record set by Ernie Ells in 1995. Dude, he was so great. It's tough to sum about. Waffle house? Waffle house? There's a Waffle house three miles from the course. Oh, that's why he played so good?

And then on this day in Dumb Zone, or excuse me, Aggie history. In 2024, 706 people gather in Kyle, Texas to attempt to break the world record for a gathering of people with the same name. Gathering of the Kyle's. Is that where they fell into the fire? No. Oh, okay. They didn't fall into the fire. Oh, okay.

I remember that story. Wait, how did I not have this story today then? Because it's every year. Every year on the same day? Yeah. Same day. Boy, how sad is that? You're doing the tall people story.

Yeah, maybe the... You fall short of the record, so you just, let's try again next year. They fall woefully short of the record, 2,324 Ivins in 2017. The Ivins are not going to be stopped. Yeah. On this day in Dumb Zone history, in 2021, we had Luca Donchich on the show. Oh. And maybe we'd go through that for tomorrow.

I remember it being awesome. I don't think I could do that, dude. Was his English good back then? No. Not really, but... Okay. Once again, so good, you don't even have to speak the language. He was talking to us on his Bluetooth and his car.

We could hear his blinker the whole time. He didn't do a lot of interviews. No, this is a huge gift. I couldn't speak the language very well. Yeah. He was done with the interview about four minutes in. Mm-hmm. And Dan made it about 18.

Asking him who his cable provider was. Who was it? Dude, you knew it was the only time you're ever going to talk to a little bit. No, I'm with you. You did the right thing. It was just tense. And then in 2023, we find out why Dan wears logo-less shirts now. Ooh, I'm with Dan on that.

I'm a logoless guy myself. If you're watching on video, Dan just plain black t-shirt right now. In 2023, Dan was walking through the airport in a brown shirt, and another Browns fan barked at him. Yeah, that's the reason why? That's the reason why that's hilarious. Yes. Yep. That'll do it. Birthday's today. Travis Hunter is 23.

All right. Full-time corner now? No, you guys. No. Failed experiment. Bad trade? Did we fall for that? Bad trade? Yeah. Terrible draft. You did fall for it. Okay. You did fall for it.

It's because they do the thing where reporters tweet stuff out at OTAs. Yeah. And he was only playing corner. It's not going to be any different than it was. before. Oh, that's fake? It's not fake. It's just that they weren't that day. They're going to do what they're going to do what they were doing. They're going to use him mostly as a DB. Vince Young is 43. It's a bad trade, but that doesn't mean he's failed. God, I miss this. I miss Vince Young being popular and famous. Yeah. Gagree. I'm going to go back and get my good grie. That was a cool picture. We hung out with him at the fair for a while. Yeah. Oh, really? How was he? Solid guy? Oh, great team.

The salt of the earth. Yeah? Jim Sundberg is 75. Good old Jim. Flozell Adams is 51. The Hotel. Robert Quinn is 36, former cowboy. He had a big sack ear.

Like one. And went to Chicago and... Yeah. Let's see. Reggie Jackson is 80. Damn, dude. He wouldn't got 18 and a half in Chicago one year. That's crazy.

Who? Reggie Jackson? Yeah, he's 80. The boys of summer. Is what they call him. Yeah. Yeah. Huh.

Tennis Hall of Famer, Yannick Noah's 66. Joe Kim's father. Yeah. I tried that name. Joe Kim. Yeah. My son and did not fly. Would that fit him?

Now. It's a good question. I don't know. Carter in my mind was a much gentler name. I thought it sounded kind of peaceful and, you know, just... Yeah, but now that he has that name, I picture Carter as a badass. I do too. I don't like it.

Like a battering ram. I know. I have an aggressive child. Oh, really? Yeah. The boy. The girl's very cool. The boy's a terrorist.

Former Mets. Former Mets GM, Steve Phillips is 62. Steve Phillips, this is a, so Steve Phillips used to do Sunday night baseball on ESPN. It was like the Harold Reynolds era. And he was nailing a production assistant. Ooh. And it was kind of the first time that people realized that the woman didn't need to be attractive at all. Because Steve Phillips is like an old Silver Fox guy.

You know, he played in Major League Baseball. He's probably making a lot of money. she was not necessarily. She was like a 23, 24-year-old video editor. And I think she like drove through the yard at his house or something. Crazy story. Oh, man. That makes me so terrified of women sometimes.

Yeah. Anytime meet a woman, I'm like, I don't know if this is worth losing everything. That's kind of the fun though. Yeah, it is kind of fun. Normally is worth it. I had a woman asked me out recently and I go, what are you going to do for your birthday? And she said, I don't want to go to a rave. and I thought I should get out of here.

No. Yeah, dude, I'm 41. I struggle to stay up past 8 at night. Yeah, you need to figure that out. Right, Jake, don't yell at it. I'm just saying, dude, if a chick's hasn't you to go to a rave, you need to go. I should have gone? Yeah.

I just feel like a creepy old guy going to a, I haven't been to men's health. See, I can hook you up. Yeah, I got, I'm going to need some pick me up to do this. Gameday. com. Bet. Rick Wakeman from, yes. S is 77.

George Strait is 74. Still alive. George Strait, the real king. Who's the fake? My mom always would position George Strait against Garth. George Strait was a real cowboy.

Yeah. Like Garth Brooks's. So the woman, the production assistant that Steve Phillips was nailing started stalking his wife, which is just as you do oh man

oh man you know I worked with a guy on Saturday not live recently and uh for four shows and he told me that he only sleeps with tins because they don't talk okay I guess if you can get to that point

I mean I wouldn't know that and I've also never been on Saturday Night Live but he sounded like it was a factual statement he was very you know nonplussed about it hmm different life huh yeah

Different life. From Downton Abbey, Alan Leach is 45. I've never seen it. No. Big day for your wife. Yep. Snoop Pearson is 46. He's from the Wire.

Not he. Best show ever. She? Yeah. Female Snoop. Yeah, well, so I know there was an executive order that said that there were two genders, but in your journeys, you're going to come across. across women that are not like women and men that are not like men and Snoop.

All right. Yeah. Tina Face 56. Oh, legend. Yeah. 30 Rock's on the best show. I don't know why. I don't, I think that she's like Bill Simmons for me.

Like, I don't really like her work, but I really respect her. Can I get away with that? Yeah. Yeah. She annoys me. Dan hates her? No, I think Dan loves her. Dan hates Amy Polar

Yeah Same person See I think there may be one of your Chief criticisms there It's just kind of one note Born on this day now dead Jimmy Snooka Professional wrestler

Snooka Snucka Yeah Jimmy Superfly Snooka Yeah I think he might have a Kimspin I don't know I would imagine most wrestlers

Yeah I wrestle especially from that era You know and Thomas Midgley who invented leaded gasoline You guys ever siphoned gas out of a car? No, tell us about it.

No, I'm interested. I was just raised by a man that my mom's ex-boyfriend I was thinking about us the other day on stage where I was like I was raised by, he would siphon gas like the car would run out of gas every other day and he would just go suck it out of somebody else's, spit it into a gas tank, put it in our car.

It, for real, works like that? Yeah, easy. And I was like, I was raised by a man who I couldn't read a right, but I'm pretty sure you knew the difference between 87 and 89. Yeah, there you go. Just based on taste. That's awesome. Okay, I dig it.

Yeah, great guy. Shout out, Nikki. Dead on this day still dead. Ernie Davis, the first black player to win the Heisman. Oh. Said he died at the age of 23. That's a rough. time to go. That's how they celebrated the first black player to win the high school.

Jesus. Oh my gosh. You think they were all fired like general fan was pretty fired up about that? I think they wanted a fight on the white house lawn about it probably. Davis was selected first overall the 1962 NFL draft by the Redskins but was immediately traded to the Cleveland Browns. You know why? No. Jack Kent Cook. was not about to have a black guy in his team. Looking up. Rough way to run a sports franchise. It's super funny.

Super funny to own a team called the Redskins. Yeah. He'd be like, come on, dude. Uh, well, the Redskins did seem to win the trade. Yeah, I mean. Uh-huh. He died pretty, pretty soon after pushing up the deal. played a professional game.

Roger Ailes died on this day. Yes, his birthday was Friday. He died three days later. Fox. Fox News. Ken Osmond, Eddie Haskell, and Leave It to the Beaver. Died on this day. The age of 76. Is he related to Donnie

Osmond? Is that like one family? Or no? It looks like no. I don't think so. I don't really get the whole Osmond thing. Leave it. You like... The beaver.

We're losing you a little bit. I'll work backwards from the beaver joke. I think it was a beaver pun that probably crushed. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Beaver. We get it.

And then finally in 2023, Jim Brown died on this day. Oh, no. Yeah, buddy. I think, oh, no, is typically what the women around him said. Oh, no. It's Jim Brown. Yeah.

Yeah. Because of his big don't. And that was today in history. Wow. Brown got rough. Oh, really? You read me now? Yeah.

He did not leave it all on the field. Carried it over. Okay. What's up, bud? Can I do closing remarks? Are these sponsored or no? It is. Yes, it is sponsored by HelloFresh?

Yeah. Hello Fresh. Our good friends at Hello Fresh. I'm a big Hello Fresh. customer. They deliver the meals right to your doorstep. So it takes out the hassle of going to the grocery store. It takes out the hassle of having to plan meals. Takes out the hassle of having to have food go bad. That's probably one we don't talk about enough that I hate having food go bad. When you're trying to cook, you buy too much of this or that. You've got to buy all this

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Here's Dan. HelloFresh actually cost my divorce. Okay. Why not? If you don't, if the, if the, if the. If you both don't know how to cook, it's just going to cause an argument. Yeah. You know?

And then you'll get out of a relationship that wasn't good. And she's like, there's three more of these coming in the mail. And I'm like, too. And now you've got rave chicks asking you. Because of Hello, that is true. Yes. I guess I've won the trade. Yeah, there you go.

There you go. Sorry, hello. So look up at, look up Spire. I just passed it. Spire Academy. Okay. Yeah. Geneva on the lake or something.

like that. Spire Academy. So that's where I stayed on my way to New York. And now I'm heading back the other way. It's off I-90 in Ohio. And I didn't realize what Spire Academy was. And I just saw a little sign for what it was because I stayed in this hotel for it says it's a training facility for Olympic and Paralympic athletes. So I found that is, is that, is that, interesting or not? Not at all? No, no, it is. I just thought you were going to, I thought you were going to say it was like LeBron's place or something. But yeah, no, I've heard of Spire. I've heard that. Oh, you have? Yeah, like IMG.

Okay. Yes. You got athletes out there. Paralympics. Why do we do it? Great point. Um, I mean, I'm not against it. I'm just wondering why, why do we do it? Yeah, because. For them? Is it for us? Because if you think about it, there's not a, although I might be interested, but to my knowledge, there is not a version of, say, comedy where you just have a bunch of people. Like if you just had a bunch of people with Down syndrome telling jokes.

That's called Kill Tony. Right. Right. The biggest show on the planet. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually pretty good. Yeah.

But my point is just, it's like the argument with the WNBA, right? when people would say, like, well, why would you watch a product that's less than? I don't agree with that. I'm not going to consider women's sports as the same as Paralympics. But on the same spectrum, when it comes to Paralympics, a lot of times I think you're probably talking people who are family or other people who have, like, disabilities. Yeah. And they're like, okay, that's inspiring. Okay.

I assume that's the reason, right? I don't know. Well, I mean, he asked, like, why do we do it? I think we can get rid of it. Like, where is the line, though, on, like, we don't have anything for deaf people to compete in something, right? Yeah. Or blind people, right? We don't have a blind.

Like, can you be just missing a finger? Are the Paralympics ableists? Because they only allow you to compete if you have certain disabilities and not others, like being blind. Okay, so do you have to have, like, I can't just be missing, like, a pinky? It seems like they're pretty light about it. I saw the guys on the U.S. hockey team and they play on like a little seat, but then in the post game, they were

jumping around on their feet. Hmm. All right. I think we should rip them. Just cut the funding. Yeah. Let's get rid of it. Ooh, that's a good one.

All right. Anyways, we'll see you tomorrow. Adios, mofo. We got to go before this becomes a zoo. See you guys for drinks later. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video. Dan's connection sucks

I can't stay away from the show Dan's connection sucks His presence alone the show He doesn't trust those other schmachs Two week trip with trucks Location unknown is he in bone We can't