The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 5-4-26 | Mavs make a hire and the April MBR

Episode Date: May 4, 2026

Get every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneThe Athletic's, Jon Machota, joins us for some never before heard audio from the Cowboys war room over the NFL draft weekend, Ted Emrich is hanging with us all day long as the Mavs make a bandaid hire and we review the month of April with our MBR (00:00) - Open: Weekend check with Ted Emrich (32:56) - Jon Machota: Getting to know the Cowboys rookies (59:23) - Mavs make a hire, Masai Ujiri (01:05:03) - April MBR (01:33:14) - News: Greg Ostertag wins election (01:51:50) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm professional broadcaster Dan McDowell, letting you know that you were about to hear one of our free podcast. But if you'd like to subscribe at dumzone.com, you'll get four shows per week plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus sods like our business Wednesday interviews. So if you forgot how to use the 15-second rewind, that's dumbzone.com to subscribe. Now, on to today's program. We have a new month, Jake, May. And in case you were wondering. Okay. And that means new copy points from our friends at Flooring Direct.

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slash dz we're getting better at this thing horny legoes so funny our pros are the nicest we've got the best prices at floor ring direct friends happy Monday this is the dumb zone we're not in the game day men's cell studio they still got gameday dot dumbzone dot com though uh we're on the road today and i'm dan mcdell i'm j kip i'm blake jones You know Foodie K is here, or else you wouldn't be hearing us, slash seeing us, on the YouTube where we broadcast live and tape. Today, we are on the road, a road to sit-in at the home, not the office. Surprise we're here. Of the great Philip Kingston, former Dallas City Councilman,

former lead council. Does that what you called yourself? when you were heading up the dream team. They make you declare it, so we had to pick one of us. Oh, who's it going to be? I guess it will be. I'll take it. I'll be in charge.

I'll take it. That's exactly the way. Yes, lead of the dream team. And owner of one of my favorite homes I've ever been in. Yeah? What a place. Yeah, it's nice. I love it.

It might be on the market. Rustic. Is it on the market? Oh, okay. Not yet. I saw a sign up. Oh, the sign was about saving City Hall or some other crap. Some other stuff that won't happen.

Bond prop. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for having us, Philip. Is there a special occasion here? It's really just a bit. Like, Ted Emmerich, the great Ted Emmerich is here with us. Ted Emmerich is here. Oh, wow.

Yes. Supporting the big sky. Yes, I'm always supporting the brawl of the wild with Montana and Montana State. among other schools. Play-by-play guys. Just throw the records out the window. We love the swag, don't we, Blake?

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure you have something from this conference or that conference. I do too. A lot of conference USA stuff in my wardrobe, unfortunately. So like so many people, the Dumb Zone brings people together. Me and Ted were brought together at the Christmas party, where we reminisced about the last time we were together, which was the mythical lost episode.

And so then I had to, even though it was a total asswhip for him, I had to remind Blake that Ted and I need to do an episode together so that we can kind of recreate some of the magic, hopefully. At least set the universe straight. That's a lot of pressure. Blake, you are rolling, right? I think so. Are we live?

No, that's one of those, Gregs, you got a break to make a tomlitt. We upgraded our policies after that particular incident. We're moving on. We're moving forward. Sorry, Blake. And I love how the reputation of that day just continues to grow, as if it was the greatest episode of all time. That Chinese accent.

You guys were doing. It's the funniest. Full blown, yes. It is the funniest thing that ever happened to me. No kidding. And McCool was there, too, speaking of the dream team. He, in theory, is available by I zoom for closing remarks. We'll see if we can get him to confirm here in a minute.

Okay. So he just, he ordered a Ted Embrick for the day. You can do that. Say my name and I appear, I guess. Ted agreed to it. He had every chance to run. Oh, no. I'm glad he's here.

Well, may the fourth be with all of you. Oh, God. Now I am going to leave. There's a lot Star Wars balloons. I would have forgotten unless we had all this reminders. I forgot to, but the great Matt Stubbs is with us, and he said, we must decorate from May the 4th in order to whip Jake's ass. Okay, it's all about Jake.

Considerate whipped. It's fully whipped. You guys see the text out sign on the way in? I'm assuming we traveled the same or so, yes, the video, right, the full script. May the fourth be with you. Drive safe, you must. Ah, they're speaking as the... I hate it here.

Who is that, Dan? As the who. The character of Yoda. The Grandpa Yoda. Yes. Grandpa Yoda, as he's known. He's real old and stuff. Okay.

Also, we have a star-studded room here. Mike Mooney is just kind of sitting in the back there. Of magazine. We love Mike Mooney. I love Mike Mooney, folks. Quick bathroom rating for Phillips Bathroom, which appears to be in the office. So this might, there might be a little middle ground here. Because I feel like that's not a, hey, everybody should use this bathroom.

It's the office bathroom. I walked in there. Was that Melissa? Do you see the sign out front? Yeah. Felissa? Yep. We did, yes.

We have celebrity named ourselves. Oh, we're very cute. Okay. We didn't go. Angeline has nothing on Felissa. Millip? Did we try Millip? We didn't.

We thought Felissa sold better. And then we actually did it did name our real estate company after that. You have a real estate company. Indeed. Damn. I mean, quality bathroom. You expect Philip to have nothing. Nothing less than top quality, one of the top legal minds in the FW.

Foam soap? I forgot to get the foam. No. We're going to have a huge problem. Do you know where I'm going, Blake? You were in there. Yeah, I used the, I used it. Bar of soap.

Yeah. Little bar. It's teeny. It looks like it's been in there for a house. How long of the house? No, it started as a huge. Okay, okay. And it's now down to...

It started as the huge dove bar, and now it's on its last lapar of soap. And I noticed we were using disposable hand towels are great, but if it says Merry Christmas with the picture of the Grinch, I feel like we're just getting rid of the stuff we haven't gotten through with. You read that correctly. Maybe he was in Star Wars. And then once the real guests get here, we'll break out the new stuff.

So there is actually a story to that bathroom, Dan. This house is 110. 10 years old and it originally had one bathroom like most houses back then. And so that bathroom was put in in the 30s when the family started taking in borders and the mural on the wall is meant to celebrate the inauguration of the new bathroom. It was painted by the wife of a pretty famous Dallas artist who did some of the mural work at Fair Park. Tony Hawk, Bucky Lasek, guys like that or what are we?

Yeah, exactly. I like that. So, it's underrated. So anyway, that's why that mural is still on the wall. It's in the plaster, actually. Actual question, though,

that they just make you take in people at this time? Like, this is like a community home? It was legitimately the depression, and they were doing it to make ends meet. Yeah, okay. Wow. That's just like Airbnb now. Yeah.

I tell you what's not. It's going to be there's a soldier by force of the government because I'm protected by the Third Amendment. Goddamage. Oh, yeah, making a soldier live at your house? Never. That's like in there, huh? Oh, it's in there.

It's a major thing. Trying to put some monster-drinking, hard-dicked Marine in my... No way. Can't do it, huh? Protected. Okay, we have John Machota. We'll talk Cowboys with us in about 20 minutes or so, so we should move on quickly to a weekend check.

It'll be brought to us by Puddle Pools. Speaking of a new copy, Patrick sent us some over last night. Let's just take a look at the little Puddle Pools copy here. I saw my dude today when I was leaving. He was there and he said, hey, what do you think? And I was like, it clearly looks better than it did before. And he was real proud of himself, too, like almost cocky. So I'd rather that than the guy who's not very proud of his work.

They're great, man. They're DFW-W-wide. So Puddlepools.com slash Dumbzone. Yeah, I used to have like three different pool companies, one for the chemicals. One guy would come and fix the Polaris and whatever, and then one on the, you know, the machinery. And these guys do it all. And in fact, they also do the hot tub. So some pool companies won't do the hot tub cleanings.

They service the pool. Spa is not included. But they do the hot tub cleaning, spa maintenance, the stuff you don't want to deal with it yourself. So they could drain it, clean it, balance the chemicals, get rid of the film and the buildup. Is that what Matthew Perry was trying to do, clean it? I think so, and look what happened to him. Super dangerous. Puddle Pools can keep you alive by cleaning your hot tub.

Easy scheduling. They show up when they say they're going to. They send you a report. Yeah. So cool. Puddlepools.com slash dumbzone. Get it working. I'll go first and go sort of quick.

Sports. We had blast ball. had our last two soccer games. So we wrapped, we had a game Saturday and Sunday because of all the rainouts. And we wrapped up the year. It was awesome. It was a lot of fun. Catch your little team party this Thursday where that's probably the closest I come to being like,

I don't know how to act here because still, I remember last year when we did the party, the parents are almost like looking for a little speech. And I'm like, well, these kids are not listening. Do you win the championship? Do you keep score? No, we do. I mean, we all do, but they're not. Oh, then why are we partying?

To say, hey, we all had a good time and go play at the playground. Great. No, as the coach, it is the most uncomfortable day because usually you're over there. Right. And all the parents are over here. Yeah. So you could just, you got your thing. And even at practice, when the parents are pretty close by and they're on the sideline,

whether they're paying attention or not, there's something that I have to talk about. Right. And now they're going to mix with you, though. You have to understand each one of them has a different bone to pick with you. You have... Kid doesn't play enough. Yeah. It's a playing time thing.

You don't really know what you're doing overall. You don't have to worry about that yet. But I know that's coming, and I may get out before then. Did you have to give awards to every single kid? They give you a certificate. Yeah. You did this already? I did it last time and I'm doing it this Thursday night.

Oh, this coming Thursday. Yeah, but I'm saying season. one. Yeah, you do a certificate. You stand there for a picture. Yep. Get a picture made. Hardest working.

This girl didn't score. Really didn't participate at all. The Hustle Award. Hustle Award. Most improved. Best personality. This girl really didn't want to be here. Parents Made her Play.

The best teammate award. My favorite daughter. Yay. Right. Yeah. You just got to get creative with it. But yeah, it's fun. Whatever.

Where are you going? Central Market. That's the spot, man. What? A party? Going to playground out in the back. We had our... They got a playground in a restaurant.

The one over here is a premium play date spot. Like yesterday, for example, my wife and a couple of other people... I didn't go to this, but my wife and a couple of other people put together a meeting for the parents from the school that's getting closed down. To come meet and hang out with the people from the school, our school. So they were at Central Market all day. This is not an uncommon thing. That's what I'm saying.

And you get a carriage ride. That's great. You can, that's right. Right, and hatch chilies. Pick up a couple of pounds of short rib, too, for that night. I blockwalked Friday night. Speaking of Philip Kingston's house, I think one of the last few times I was here is me and you meet here to block walk.

Early on a Saturday morning. For Scott Griggs. Then we got to work on Monday, and they were like, hey, what are you doing? Yeah, we got in trouble at work. You can't do that. But it was very different, you know. It wasn't like, you know, you're not in Dallas County. walking around and you did around your neighborhood no i went around my neighborhood but it was

around a neighborhood in the district um and the election was saturday and are people answering the door are they shocked that you're knocking on a door because i would be yeah we we get scared when the door something happens at the door probably start looking at this string 30 percent of people have a no solicitation sign because i probably knocked on a hundred doors so i have a pretty good view of and you have an app you know like an organizer app, so I'm actually working from a list. Some people just don't answer,

even though they're clearly home. And then I had two people who were just straight up pissed. Everyone else was chill. Pissed? Yeah. We're eating dinner. Yeah.

You didn't have to answer the door. I was definitely not going to keep knocking. Trust me. You're on my porch. But they came to the door to tell me, or to give me the F-off vibes. And I knew that was coming, right? Probably deserves it.

Is that when you tell them they're representing the other side? I don't even know. Now that you say that, I don't even know that we really got to that point. Okay. I think it was just kind of a... But that's what you should do. If you sense anger,

who was the opponent? Like, what... Yeah, you're going to. Name one of them. I'm right. And then I, yeah, I went to, like, an election results. Like, at Saturday night,

I went to the bookstore. It was so why Hillary lost it. Like, it was a party? Yeah, I mean, it wasn't over yet, but people were, like, gathering to, and I was there for a little bit. It was nice, but, you know, what am I doing there? I needed to, like, get out of there and go watch Under Siege and listen to Comtown or something. Seriously, dude, I was in there with, like, it felt like I was in, yeah, I was in the wrong place. Very, very warm, kind people.

A lot of Birkenstocks. A lot of Subaru's. A lot of blue politics, which I will happily sign up for, but I'm not really. sure that I like my whole fucking thing. No, I had a buddy. It's really fits into the... One of my good buddies back in Cleveland was talking to me recently about it. And I think I've told you this before.

He's always lamenting WHLs. And he's like, you know, didn't our side used to be like his dad is a real grizzled union guy. Yes. That was the picture of the Democratic Party. Now, I will say this. Oil on the hand, dirty. working man. Not to get too much into politics,

but I will tell you this, if you want to get shit done and you want, those are the people that are getting it done. You know? The working man thing. No, but I'm saying now, the people who are like in progress,

it's a lot of women, a lot of times it's going to be, you know. It's all ladies, man. What are they doing? But it was cool. It was cool to get to be a part of it. And, yeah, and then

I tore my knee up yesterday. But I'm doing what? Settled down. Stop getting hurt. But we're, uh... Yeah. We hung them up. The, the team of the post corner or what were you doing?

The team of, uh, of South Lake Grand Dragon Wizards. We had a good run. We're done. But they, I wanted to be there for their last game. Oh, you knew it was going to be the last game ever? Yeah. What's the final record? No lie, dude.

It's something like... It's like 40 and 2 or something, right? It's something like 100 to 110, 4 or 5 and 1. Wow. Only losses to the God Squad? Yeah, a couple of us. You lost 4 or 5 games. And 1, 100 or 110 of them.

At one point we won like 80 in a row. 70 in a row. Did you ever talk about could you beat the worst college football team? Yeah, because, I mean, those guys are just fresh out of college. It's like, look, you know, we can probably get this done. Maybe the Sixers. I don't know. But yeah.

So you tore your knee up. I don't know how. I don't know. You know, I heard something. Everyone on the sideline also heard it. And while this was not God Squad formal, there were four or five members of God Squad on the team. And they were the ones that mattered. And in that moment, they laid their hands on me.

And they were like, is this okay? On one knee? Yeah. And I was like, well, I mean, I'm kind of laying on my back. So it'd be weird if I said no. They asked, can we pray on your knee? Yeah, but I mean, I was not stopping it. They were good at the time.

What if you had said no? I thought about it, but like I said, they were already. Would they curse the knee? They throw fire, sand. Did their prayer help the knee? I was telling, yeah, I think it psychologically does because I felt gay being like, laying down having a dude's hands on me, so I was like, I'm better. I got up and I walked off.

Okay, so in a way, it works. Like, motivated you. Boom. This feels like a situation I don't want to be in. I'll run back to my car. If you had not gotten up over under on the prayer, 90 seconds, three minutes. Father God, we come to you today. Dude, the thing is, is he prays before the games and they're long.

Yes. You can say no. In that moment, I was not saying no. If I want to skip the one before or after, but if a dude's coming up, I know I'm not a religious guy, but that's like the moment where I would think it's cool, right? Like you're just doing a little positive vibes. Like comfort you type thing. I mean, I would rather that than whenever I tell somebody like, hey, I vote Democrat.

They're like, I'll pray for you. He's busy. I mean, I was wounded, you know? There are other things going on. He's not listening about your knee right now. Tell him no. He's got the straight to open up. There's a lot going on.

Topping five bucks a gallon. There you go. I had a fairly uneventful weekend. except in my mind, consternation. There's concern about I have a two-week trip because you know that I'm a man of great

routine. Yeah. Routine, I must do things the same way. I love, you know, it's because things are going well. And for me, I don't expect things to go well physically or mentally.

But they're going well, so if I stay in this pattern, maybe they will keep going well. See how long I can keep this run going. But now I've got to do something different. And it's driving across the country for two weeks and back for two weeks. I'm leaving. I don't get to sleep in my own bed.

I don't get to, I don't know, just do everything that I do, which is like nothing. Yeah, but you do it in the same place at the same time, and that's important. And now you can't. And I was trying to think of how on the road I try to emulate my behavior. and I know you guys get annoyed by that sometimes, but then you don't really care because you just do your own thing. That's the way I view it. And I think I try to do it because so much other,

everything else is in upheaval. So can I keep at least this? Can I keep my bedtime? Or can I keep my whatever? I don't know. But, yeah, I have a two-week trip starting Wednesday, but I'll still be doing the show every day, live via Zoom phone.

hooked up in the car. The good Lord willing. Have your guys pray for that. Pray that our Zoom hook up. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like we talk about with the Frankles. 214, 817 and all threes. We don't want you to get into a car accident,

but it wouldn't hurt us if you did and called them. If you're in the middle of doing whatever it is that you're doing during the show and you're on and something happens. My goal is to not get pulled over. Pulled over. That's a good goal, right? It'd be funny, though.

Imagine the content. Yeah, windshield, you hit a deer. I mean... Oh, so I got my windshield, not replaced, repaired. Got a bunch of people told me about... What was it called? Safe flight, repair. Safe flight, replace.

Got the jingle. A lot of people emailing me and whatnot said they'll come out to your house and do it. Yeah. That did not happen. Oh, no. I had to go to Richland. Richland Hills? I don't know.

down there, I know I drove by Birdville High School on the way back. Many auto shops. Then you passed the game day then? The game day is right across the street. That's right. No, so, but down there, so you have to drop your car off and you don't know how long it's going to take. And so I went for a walk just around that area. You know, 8.20.

Oh, yeah, man. This time of year? Roof snow. Roof snow, Joe, I was looking for. A scenic walk. for sure. Sacred sod. I'm walking around and I walk by a Long John Silver's.

Oh, buddy. And I'm saying to my, well, what play? Because I'm like, who is going? People who live in Richland? To Long John. No, they're not. Are they? Clayton slowly raises his hand.

Are you serious? You're taking a Long John Silver's trip? The Mid Cities is keeping Long John Silver alive. That's what I was like, what is? There's definitely one overball. Who would be sitting around the house being like, that and Captain Deals? I just have a taste for Long John Silver.

Now, did you see the Long John Silver slash A&W? Yeah, I used to have with that heavy because you get a chili dog and some jumbo shrimp. Well, no, because they had both types of fries. That was an interesting offer. There's nothing wrong. I mean, listen, if we're just going to like level it out here, fast food, you'll eat at Taco Bell. There are things that they can have there. There are things you could get at LJS's that I promise you.

How would anyone know? They've never walked in. We're not doing that. We went all the time when I was a kid. Okay. Really? Like, hey, kids. Oh, yeah, dude.

Jump in the car. Longtime Silver Night. You're all excited. All right, can't even ride. Captain's flatter. And then we, meaning my wife, because it's her college roommate's son. I've been invited to a gay wedding. Nice.

Nice. Excellent. Which I don't think I've been to before. I think I would remember, but... There's a very funny key and peel sketch. Oh. Where they're trying to prepare all the family for it, and they have questions about how different it'll be. Who proposes to who, though?

I was wondering. Yeah. Please ask all of this when you go. Is there some kind of an element, though, of power? You always talk about there's a power imbalance in every relationship. Yeah. Is does the person who proposes, if the other person thought they were the power, like, are they like, oh, no, wait, this shouldn't be? Or are they in their head like, wait, I should be the most progressive person in the world?

It's probably pretty tricky if you're trying to play identity in politics with your love life, you know? If you're like, who am I in this? Yeah. I imagine it probably just kind of happens. Probably like it does in the bedroom. Nobody's like, hey, we're doing this today. How do you know? I just, that's what I'm saying is I imagine they don't say like, today I am man, I am woman.

Yeah. I imagine they just fucking feel it out, right? But in this situation, someone actually has to buy and present the ring. So that's like a concrete representation of male, female, husband, wife, whatever you want to call it. When is this? I don't know. It's, you know, in a few months or something. There's already, like, so.

much indifference already. Could you imagine having to identify, like, who's going to be in charge tonight? In difference. Like, he's talking just in bed. Do you want to do that? All right. Yeah. Oh, we have to write a story now. What?

Now it's like, well, you. That's a good point. You sound like a guy with a couple kids. That's right. Who's the power bottom? Do I? I got a couple things. So the first, I,

I actually went out to eat. I hardly do this anymore with kids and bulsh going on, but we actually went to the Olive Garden. Oh, go hard. Which at one time in my life I thought it was fine dining. Oh, my God, absolutely. Macon and grill, olive garden, no doubt. They're wearing the white dress-up shirt or the button up.

As much salad as you can eat? Breadsticks. I went with the all-you-can-eat-soup salad and breadsticks. for 13 bucks, quite a deal. Oh, that's all you ate? Yeah. You didn't have like a real meal? I thought you get an unlimited salad with your meal.

They have different specials of different. I mean, there's like a couple months out of the year where they have unlimited pasta. And you could get one of like three type. Let's settle down. No, my soup intake has taken a steep increase ever since the soup off a few months ago. Hey, tastemaker.

I now know how to say no. Donokey. Instead of Gunoki. And you can't stop me for eating it. No, I used to think this was kind of a just a movie thing of you see your friends out when you go out to eat. That happened to me. It's amazing.

Hey. Look at this guy. Makes you feel like a million bucks. Kind of do a little fake jab at it. Needle-nosed-Ned. Entire restaurant's looking at you wishing you would sit down. Bing! But it got me to thinking, so Dan.

eats out just about every night. Hey now. And it's because, so I know we have foodie K. He's real boots on the ground, but I feel like Jake is the C-suite about how food is going on a macro level. I don't know what that means, but I'm honored. Let's go.

Feed me. Sea sweet and macro. The middle ground, it used to be going out to eat is up here and fast food is down here. The middle ground has gotten so much better that rather than eating out, Now we do the fast cash. And that's what Dan does almost every night.

But you know the problem is, well, I mean, it's like this with anything, if you're just talking cost. But, dude, you can't do it for less than $20 to $25 a meal. Oh, I know. Like the fast cash anymore. That used to be like the, all right, I'm going to a restaurant price. Right. And so now, yeah, if you want to get like a burger and fries, even if you pick it up on Uber Eats, you're paying $22. Even if you just, it doesn't matter.

Uber Eats or whatever. So my question is, so would Dan be going and sitting down at a restaurant every? every night if this was 20 years ago? No, he'd be going to Burger King. Like he... You'd be fat-puting it? I think probably, right? Like, weren't you more of that type of guy?

Not now. But not yet, I don't know. It's hard because he has the health element in there too now. Right. And that's why, because he eats the same thing every single day for lunch and makes it. Now dinner is like his lunch. But I dated a girl whose family would go out to eat every other night. Wow.

To a restaurant to sit down. That's insane. To a restaurant sitting down. That's wild. I mean, I guess it's probably maybe in bigger cities people do it, like culturally. And then my other thing is, you know, we saw a lot of footage of the Cowboys and the Eagles slash Steelers trade and how Pittsburgh might be mad at Dallas. And I was starting to think if they were like really pissed at Dallas and wanted to approach like Jerry and Stephen like, hey, what the F, man. of all the GMs and owners,

I think I like Jerry and Stephen in this. Physically? Yeah. Now, 10 years ago, mate, the thing is there's a lot of these bro GMs now. Yes, I think Stephen. Stephen is fake. Fake?

Stephen couldn't fight. I don't know, dude. He drinks a lot. I think he could fight. That's a good point. I think if Joe Shane walks up to Stephen. He drinks a lot, I think he could fight is a good point. Usually is.

Like, if you're like that age. Also, but the thing is, bet Jerry has made Stephen play like Boar on the floor, you know? Like where he's doing some embarrassing shit. They have wrestled. And he's wrestled around with him. And I promise you, he's made him fight before.

Somehow, some way. Yeah, so what two, or father-son ownership team has wrestled? Like the Roonies? Can you picture the Rooney's wrestling? I feel like the executive that would be at the top of this list, based on our draft stream, would definitely be John Schoen. of the Seahawks. John Schneider's up there.

Well, that's exactly. Don't forget John Lynch. We have to go owner. Yeah. Yeah. If you're including owners, yeah. You need tag teams. If you wanted to bow up to Stephen because you're a little mad, I like our chances.

I think it's worth reminding people that that's kind of the appeal of the Cowboys, as effed up as they are. Like, I'm a cowboy fan, so I have to face like, what is it that you, it's that they're like a dysfunctional redneck hillbilly family run business that I identify with. That's part of the appeal. Like, yeah, definitely some questionable behavior. Never was going to end up on that Epstein list. Can you... It's just not our brand of crazy.

And I appreciate that. I'm picturing Stephen slowly taking off the clear rim glasses. Me too. Handing them to, you know, an underling and then just all out mayhem. Right. They'll roll up the sleeve a little bit. We got John? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Well, we'll talk. Let's keep talking, Cowboys. Let us actually think about it in the term of, I was thinking of this. The stadium, AT&T Stadium. Do they get a property tax bill? And if they did, what kind of savings could own well give them? That's what I'm thinking of. That's figure it would be huge.

Yeah. More than like a cup of coffee a day. for sure. Jerry, the address is ownwell.com slash the dumb zone. They'll handle all of this for you. They will start to protest for you. Mine actually started this year on January 6th, and then they email you every couple months, weeks,

if there's updates, and say here's what's going on. When it's done, it's done. The percentage they take is lower than the industry average, and they only take any percentage if they save you money. It's probably going to say something that's illegal there. Be like the, but don't. Just be like us. Ownwell.com.

Be like emu tom. The Dumbzone, that's right. There's a financial guy who emailed me this weekend that he just signed up with Ownwell and it took like less than five minutes. That's their slogan. It takes like less than five minutes. What's the website? Ownwell.com slash the dumb zone.

All right. Joining us now, the great John Machota from the one-star Cowboys podcast. We're also here with Ted Emmerich, John. Don't be intimidated. What's up, John? Hey, Ted. How are you? Great to see you, man.

Can I hand something real quick to your guy's previous topic? Sure. I was hoping. Jake, you're absolutely right. Jerry did put Stephen in a ring when he was 16. Jerry was, I don't know if he was sponsoring, but he was working with some young up-and-coming, like cruiserweight-style boxer and was like wanting Stephen to get in there

and spar with him. I guess the guy messed him up pretty good. And so Jerry just tells the story of how he was like, all right, that wasn't a good idea. Don't tell your mother. Don't tell your mother. It's molded him. I love it.

I can't get away from it. Just real quick, before we get into cowboy stuff, I saw a note over the weekend. I think it was Shador Sanders' brother, maybe. Shiloh had made a comment to Mary Kay Cabot of the Cleveland Plain dealer. They go back. It seems like they really don't like her. for whatever reason.

It just got me thinking, what's the meanest thing of players ever said to you? Oh, I mean, definitely Des Brian dropped a lot of F-bombs on me in front of a lot of people at training camp practice.

Like it was personal. Oh, yeah, yeah, before preseason game, too. That was probably the biggest one publicly. He tweeted some stuff, but nothing too crazy. Yeah, he was mad about like a tweet I put out

that I didn't provide more context. So we're good now, but no, that was probably the worst one publicly. But nothing. I mean, I don't know. Like, it bothered me at the time, but that was also at a time when, you know, he tweeted at David Moore, called him like a sucky writer or something like that, you know. And so there was just, that was kind of part for the course at the time. So it is funny now with, you know, some of the younger guys covering the team like Joe

Hoy and Nick Harris when certain things will happen. And it's just always funny that there's always seems to be a dead story in some way or another that tops it. Did you see the Photoshop, Mary Kay, Shador? No. Somebody had made a, it's kind of a grainy photograph, but it's doing a parody of the Vrabel Rusini. It's all the rage. It's Mary Kaye and, and Shador were holding hands, locking eyes. That's just mean.

At a resort. That is just mean. Real quick, Dan, what's your thoughts of Mary Kay with you found Cleveland? Because from what I know of her, she's like one of the most thorough reporters in the game. But I don't know what your take is, though. Yeah, I've always thought she's great. I think she does a wonderful job. And as you know, that might make some players not like you because you're not there just to, I don't know,

push their narrative. So I've always been quite on board with her. I think she just, not that the Hall of Fame means everything. Did she do the Hall of Fame? Did she get in the Hall of Fame? I don't know. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, recently, yeah.

I mean, she's at everything. Do we listen to her speech, right? Did we? I don't know. A lot of those old time, for some reason. Like, I know the Browns all hate Tony Grossie, too. So, I don't know. The guys that were there reporting when I was there as a young board up,

they're still, like, they're reporting, and the team all hates them. So I think that's good for you if you're a reporter. I don't know. Barry Switzer's grandson got to try out with the Cowboys. Will he be on the team this year? No, there's no chance of that. He's running back.

I was kind of surprised that he hasn't even met Jerry. I thought for sure Jerry would come down and introduce himself or something. But you can just tell, like, the way. way he answered questions was very, very, very over the top, no sir, yes sir type thing. Like he was very appreciative that his grandfather made this call to get him in there for this to be one of the, when they have six workout players. But no, he's not going to be on the roster. Is there anybody that you met, anybody from the rookie class or free, like anybody you've

talked to this year just in these couple days that you think might be of interest to us? What do you move about that? Guys who just have a little personality or something. Yeah, I mean, it seems like he's got something. Okay. Most interesting interview will definitely be, I know I'm going to say it wrong, but it's Shias Pete. He's an offensive line in 6-9-309.

That is absolutely legit. He is the tallest football player I've ever seen. And he just, the way his case, cadence is and the way he talks. He's just very soft-spoken, and you would not think that a guy that plays offensive tackle and has the background that he does would be like that. But if you go to the Cowboys website, he was one of the players that talked in a group to us. If you guys watch that, I find it hard to believe that you wouldn't want to talk to him at some point, just because it's just interesting backstory and all that. So he would be high in the list,

and then also the tight end, the undrafted tight end out of Baylor, Michael Trigg. I think he's got a chance to make the team. I mean, they'll probably keep four tight ends. This was considered a really good tight end draft, and they didn't take one. So when they signed him after, it seems like that's because,

and the money that they signed him to, I think it was around $200,000, which is, I believe, the highest of any of their undrafted guys. He's got a real chance to make it. I mean, Brevin Spanford was in a similar position. a couple years ago. And he's got an interesting story coming from Baylor, too. So he would be there.

As much as I like Caleb Downs, a player, Caleb Downs is just, you can tell, has been through a family with a dad that played in the NFL, and he's been at Ohio State. He's been at Alabama. You know, he's very savvy media trained. Like, he's not going to give you a ton. You know, he's respectful and all that, but he knows the media game. Now, I believe he has his own podcast, so maybe that would be a little bit better.

J. Sean Barham, the third round pick, doesn't seem like he has any interest at all in talking to reporters if he doesn't have to, more so than most. So I would probably say you might not need to get him. But, yeah, those would be my main takeaways from a day and a half around the guys. Interesting. Yeah, the offensive lineman, Dan, is like Navajo Nation. he's a 6-9 Native American tackle. He got a personality? Well, I think he's just saying the way he speaks is...

I saw the clip that John's referring to it. He's almost like a mythical creature. Yes, that's a good way to play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the way he speaks is just as such a slow cadence that I don't expect it from, like, veteran players, but I certainly don't expect it from young dudes that are coming into the Dallas Cowboys locker room. but just very, very appreciative of his opportunity and just very, very wise for his age, I guess is the best way to sum it up.

I just wasn't expecting it. And then also just the fact that he's six, nine. I mean, I get if you've been around NBA players, six, nine isn't going to be that big of a deal. But there's not many NFL guys that are six nine. So this is a three-day rookie minicamp or minicamp? Like, are there veterans there at all? So it's a three-day rookie minicamp. They just do availability and practice on Friday and Saturday,

and then Sunday is kind of like a group thing that they do together. That's no media is allowed in there. But there were a few guys, young players that were there, like Justin Barron, who he was a rookie last year, Trayshon Holden, who has been on the practice squad, who was a rookie last year. But most of it is undrafted rookie free agents, that they've signed, their draft class, and then six, you know, weekend workout type guys.

So 28 guys in total. Any big takeaways? It's not really exciting, by the way. It's, I mean, I, podcast game where you hear people just talk up this big game of what they watched and what they saw is laughable to me. It is a very walkthrough. Nobody's going one-on-one against anybody else. It's, you know, Caleb Downs never lined up against any receivers or anything like that.

like that. So any big, bold takeaways from what they saw at practice makes me laugh, because I just feel like in media nowadays more so, it's like you got to make something out of everything. You know, oh, I saw Christian Parker moving around more. He was talking to the players. All the coaches do that, you know, some more than others. But there wasn't any grand takeaways other than on Caleb Downs, I will say he has the biggest quad muscles I think I've ever seen from a play. Like it's very bizarre. Like it's like an Emmett Smith, Barry Sanders type, like, where when you're standing around him, you're like, oh, he's like six foot, six one, you know, he doesn't look like overly imposing, but when he's out there running

around, you're like, oh, yeah, I can see that this dude is just, like, he's a different, different kind of athlete. He hits way above his weight. I mean, that's why, obviously, they're able to move him down. He's just, he's a thumper, but for that, for that body type. Are you, I know you tweeted some clips from the, uh, the ESPN draft special that ran last night, but any major takeaways from that? obviously the Cowboys were heavily involved throughout with the Browns, with the Eagles and Steelers.

It wasn't anything necessarily too new, maybe, maybe the exact picks. What were your takeaways? So for me, it didn't surprise me a lot, but I think that for a lot of Cowboys fans, the biggest takeaway from watching that show would be, damn, Stevens way more in charge than maybe I thought. I could see people having that takeaway, especially the way he's working the phones. He's the one handling the trades. he's the one telling everybody to quiet down in there.

You can just tell, I mean, I've noticed it over the last, you know, five, six years. You can just tell every year it seems like he's taking on more and more of those responsibilities. I mean, they've always had, to me, the succession plan in place. They've been working on it forever because I believe Jerry cares about that, that he doesn't want it to be any question of, like, where things are going when his time is up. And so I just watching Stephen on the phones there, I thought that was pretty telling that, you know, he's got a lot more on his plate than also the, I feel like more and more when they show this behind the scene stuff, it's always a good example, too, of how I didn't cover the Jerry with Jimmy or Barry Switzer, but like, that Jerry pulling the, you know, I thought about this when we were talking to Barry Switzer's grandson. Like when I think of Barry and Jerry, I think of Jerry pulling the trophy away from him on the podium, you know, after they win the Super Bowl. Jerry's not really like that anymore. I mean, Jerry listens way more than I think people give him credit for.

He's not the one that's constantly trying to, like, you know, rule over the draft and rule over everything. I mean, he sits back and listens and does his thing. But I would say to me, that was the biggest takeaway. I also think it's interesting how much they allowed to show in terms of how teams work their trades and things like that. I think I had a reporter that covers another team text me last night saying, man, that team you cover doesn't know how to trade. And I just responded with like a laughing emoji, but I'm kind of like, I don't back me in a corner or I have to be Cowboys Defender,

but I don't know how you would pull that away from the draft they just had. They literally were willing to give up, they gave up two fifths to get up one spot to get their guy. And then they, the guy they could have taken at 20, they moved back three spots and got two fourths in, in replace. So they basically got their guy in Caleb Downs, got the guy they would have taken at 20 and basically flipped two fives for two fours. So, I mean, don't make me defend them, but I don't know how you can come away with that if you watch that show.

That's one of those where you can only have that conclusion if you look at just the chart without the context. The Cowboys, the picks were the same. I did see some chatter online. My nerd friends are like, I can't believe they're still using the Jimmy chart. Because every team's got a bunch of charts. And the chart has changed. It's been updated. It would be crazy if it hadn't.

That was 35 years ago. But people get mad when they see the Jimmy chart still out there. All right. I hate something about what you just said. That's a tease because we want to mention Trident Access Services here. Don't hate your gate. Trident garage doors or gate. Yeah, I guess Access Services means that they will install those gates, any kind of gates.

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It means just more stuff. So very quiet garage door over at my house. For sure. And it's because of Trident. DZ clients will get a 10% discount when you tell them the Dumbzone sent you. They have like an old Humvee, so ask them about that. Those things are sick.

Trident. TXTritant.com. Hit up Jeremy and his team of first responders and veterans out there, and they'll take care of your garage store. Two, excuse me, 817, 5121212. Your tease. I hate John. I hate John, number one.

Everybody knows that for a long time. time, but I hate the Cowboys helping the Eagles get the wide receiver they wanted. And I know that Jerry did, I don't know if it was your question, address that in one of the press conferences, like, look, we're trying to beat all these teams. But I don't know. What do you think? I don't agree with what he said there, especially if, like, this is actually the next A.J. Brown, like they think it is.

Yeah, I guess, yeah, Tim Kallachau is the one that asked that. I would say it really hasn't, if this was the first time they'd done something like that, I think it would stand out more to me. But, you know, they did the trade back with Philly in 21 with Micah Parsons. You know, they allowed Philly to come up and get Devante Smith, and they got a third round pick out of that and still ended up getting Micah Parsons. And so that worked out in the Cowboys favor. and then they did something similar with Washington when they traded up in 14 for

for DeMarcus Lawrence, and that worked out way better for the Cowboys. So I agree with what you're saying. I don't think it's a great practice, but for them, just in my time covering the team, I can't think of one that's really burned them badly. Although we will have to see where this whole thing goes with Micah Parsons, and trading him to the Green Bay Packers because that remains to be seen. That could be the one that I know they're not division rivals,

but why you would help out, forget the division rivals. The last 15 years, no team has been a bigger thorn in their side than the Green Bay Packers in the playoffs, and they gave their best player to them. So that one bothers, would bother me more than these draft trades. Is that trade fully in the books? Can we now look at all the players? I believe so, right?

What do they get for Micah Park? Or is there one more? I feel like I saw some articles. Yeah, they give up one of those ones next year to the giant. I mean, into the Jets still for that Quinn and Williams deal to get that finalized. But basically what it comes out to is Kenny Clark, Quinn and Williams, Malachi Lawrence. And then they count the two fours too because you traded that back, I guess, to get Malachi Lawrence. I think there's something else.

but the main thing is that you get Quinn and Williams, Kenny Clark, Malachi, Lawrence, and then a little bit extra. Oh, and then the thing that the Cowboys will point out to you is that you're not paying any of those guys the salary that you'd be paying Micah Parsons. That's another topic, but I'm just telling you that's what they often will bring up. Don't forget they offloaded Mazi. That's fair. Yes.

So they don't have to pay him the next kind of. That's right. That's right. I enjoy the spin also. We've talked about this a little bit, but I want to get your take. Just on Malachi Lawrence, the whole thing. Why is he a leader?

Because he stayed at one school. That's what this guy cares about. Wanted to make sure that he stayed at one school so he can lead. And then Caleb Downs, why is he a leader? Well, because he's a leader. He's just leader. Sure.

Doesn't matter the school. It doesn't matter the school. he could just leave the school, and now he's instantly the leader at Ohio State. It's a... It's just an amusing game that we play in the media. I don't know, the team is playing it, really, not the media necessarily.

Well, I will say for Malachi Lawrence, I think that situation is a lot more similar to Tyler Smith a few years back being at Tulsa. If those guys are like, I'm playing another year of college football, they're probably not at those schools, because that's when Alabama and all those schools are coming. Because in both cases, there are a little bit more of like a late bloomer type

where like Caleb Downs talked to him, he probably had a good idea that he could play professional football or that he would one day play professional football probably in high school, where when you talk about like Amalachi Lawrence, he probably didn't think it was real until maybe a year or two ago. So he's a little bit more of a late bloomer. So I don't think he had the opportunities that Caleb Downs did or he probably would have left UCF as well, but you are completely right on that. And I just, the teams I've covered, especially under Jason Garrett, that was always such a big talking point, right kind of guys,

all that stuff, got a good locker room. And it's really gotten them no closer to a parade. So I'm, I just think that stuff's overrated. I lean into what the Eagles do. I just think the Eagles for today's NFL are the best run organization. And a lot of that is obviously because of Howie Roseman. They're super aggressive. they make mistakes, they move on from them. And I guess I don't cover them on a day to day. So maybe they do push culture stuff. I just don't, I find that hard to believe.

But Nick Siriani is the head coach, the stuff they've been going on with AJ Brown. It seems like they are built where, yeah, give us the best 52 guys and we'll figure it out behind the scenes. And I just think that is a way bigger deal in the NFL. Give me the most talented team. And then we'll figure out the culture. Because if we're winning, the culture will be fine.

John, before we get you out of here, we wanted to play a little bit of audio for you. We were laughing about this last week. Of course, the Cowboys, they sort of moonlight as a football team, and during the day, they're just sort of a content factory because the draft calls now, they used to be kind of cute, and I liked it. It was 30 seconds. It was kind of like a kid getting a scholarship, you know. But now it's so produced.

The calls two and a half minutes long. They pass the phone around. dun dun dun dun dun and uh listen i'm not gonna i'm gonna call my own foul here everybody code switches a little bit everybody gets into different situations and speaks a little bit differently but here's coach with california we're happy here's coach here's coach shot now all right Caleb, what's up, brother? What's up? Hey, congratulations, man.

We get to play knockout a little bit more, man. Hey, we're going to have to play knockout. I'm going to have to beat you and putting again. Hey, damn right, brother. I can't tell you how excited we are, brother. Oh. Oh, hey, damn right, brother. Hey, brother.

And listen, like I said, it comes from the best of us. It comes from the best of us. B-R-U-T-H-A. It absolutely happens. Here's another one. He's got, we got the best corner in the draft. He said, all. There's the rich.

Brian Chottonhampton Hockey Gator. All right. Hey, Devin, coach shot number from one gator to another. Hey, you bring that to life, brother. I'm so fired up for you, man, congrats. Like, I halfway expected to be like throwing up gangs. Hey, morkey ass bitch. I didn't catch the first time the guy goes, all right.

Yeah. He knows what's coming. He's it. All right. Coach Brian Chottonnell. All right. Hey, Devin, coach shot number from one gator to another. You bring that to life, brother.

All right. From one Gator, he's like, yeah, I've seen your name on the wall. So I'm sure you enjoyed those, John. But we actually found a couple of them that were, they actually called guys that they had just signed, undrafted free agents. I think this one might be a detackle from Virginia Tech. Let's see.

Coach Brian Chottin'Hackie Gator. What up, what up? It's Coach Shottie and this bitch, fam. I'm so motherfucking. excited to watch you thump these bitch ass motherfuckers. Bet? Yes, sir. Appreciate it, Coach.

Because you're the real goddamn deal. You know what I'm saying? Fake motherfuckers to the back. Yeah, I mean? Coach Shott, he ain't got no time for none of that bullshit. Playboy. You heard. Yes, sir.

I thought that was... Boy, Ed. I missed that one. It's over the top. I think once the ESPN and the NFL Network cameras leave, that they really ramped up, you know, just everybody was. loose. I think this one, this last one here

is a Vanderbilt line. What I do, young blood? How are you feeling? I'm excited. I'm ready to get the word. Fuck yeah, twin. Hey, listen, man, it's like they say in the streets. Knock if you buck. I need some motherfuckers down here in Triple D that are about it, about it. You're going to have to listen to me talk like this for years, okay?

Does that sound good to you, my G? It's very. It's so excited. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So if you ever need behind the scenes type audio, John, we have sources. So it's funny that you play that because I, I've been thinking about like the future of my job

and how much a big part of it going forward is going to be just how this stuff gets better and better. And I'm going to have to be the one that's like, no, this is, this isn't real. Yes, that that's real. I'm sorry. Yes, this is Photoshop. No, that's not really Mike Rabel with Adam Schaefter. Yes, that's an actual quote. You know, there's that's, I mean, because don't get me wrong, like, that's good.

Now, that sounds for the most part like him, but it's scary how it's only going to get better. Yeah. Especially for anybody that has a lot of, like, you know, you've been interviewed a lot. There's a lot of your cadence and the way you say things. Like, it's only going to get better and better and better. And I just feel like there's going to be so much of, uh, Like how many years are we away, and I'm going to enjoy it when it happens. Hopefully it's not me.

How far are we away from a coach being asked on the podium something that just was straight AI? Like, hey, I saw it the other day you said this about whatever. And it's just completely fagging. And it's like, I never said, where is that from? You know, it can't be that far away. But that's the stuff that I think, well, that's going to be part of my job. Well, we're sorry. But I don't know what to tell you.

You're going to have to see through the ball sack. That's right. John. You're a dogged reporter. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. Doggett. Maybe an anchor word.

Well, you're the best. Go listen to the one-star Cowboys podcast, wherever else John pops up. Best Cowboys. Yeah, I just start a Facebook page. Boy, you're really getting with it, John. I noticed that here. You're pin tweet. You're on Facebook now.

That's awesome. There's reasons behind it. I'm not going to share all of them. But there's a big following out there for Cowboys information that, I didn't really care about the previous 10 years, but some people have told me about the reasons I need to be on there a little bit more. Ethel needs her Cowboys News. Please go ahead and follow me at John Michota Cowboys Reporter.

I'd appreciate that. All right, John. We'll catch up with you. Brother. See you. Hi, brother. Well, we have a little bit of breaking news. The Mavs have hired a GM, or at least a team president,

and they're calling it alternate governor, which is a term I was not wholly familiar with, but it's F.N. Masai Ujiri, who is arguably the most well-regard NBA executive of the past 10 to 15 years. He was the Raptors GM from 2013 to 2025. And he was with, I want to say, either Denver before that,

was the Carmelo trade, but he just thought of as... So he got Kauai there? Oh, yeah. He just thought he lost Kauai. Yeah, but everybody knew Kauai was coming for one year. Toronto just was kind of the, I don't want to call him like the raise of the NBA, but they were just always thought of as a team that was like doing a lot with not very much.

And he's the reason. He's, I'm sure there are people who can't stand the guy. He's kind of a Brit, right? He doesn't talk Brit. He's a Nigerian, I want to say. Oh, okay. But I just maybe like by family. But he's a prickly motherfucker, though.

Like he'll snap. He's not a nice guy. He was born in the UK, Dan. Okay, there you go. Yeah. To Nigerian and Kenyan parents raised in Nigeria. I just mean he's kind of an aggressive guy. He's not a, he's not Rick Welts or what's his name?

Rick Wells. Yeah, Welts, yeah. Welts. So is he the GM? Looks like it. He makes trade. Yes. He's the guy.

President of basketball operations, team president, however you want to be. He, yes. Like a few months ago, I saw a list that said, these are who the names of Patrick Dumont is really targeting for GM. And it was like Sam Presti, not Sam Presti, Sam Hinky maybe. And Maasai's name might have been on there. And I'm like, yeah, okay. And I want to play in the NFL.

Oh, okay. So it was expected this guy is not coming here. No way. He hasn't been in the league in the last year. But in Tim McMahon and Chom's story on ESPN.com. Ujiri was highly recommended to Dumont as he discussed candidates with people within the league that he trusts. Sources said, Dumont first met with Ujiri during a four-hour lunch in Las Vegas in December. Didn't hear anything about this.

Wow. God, these people have the longest lunches, man. NBA free agent coaches, I swear. You hear about a free agency, right? They're like, at a six-hour lunch. It's a lot of refills. He feels like Shottie would love that. That's crazy, dude.

I mean, it goes without saying because Nico's Nico, but you're talking about the two polar opposites. Kind of like we talk about with Shottie and either Christian Parker or Clayton Adams. Like, Nico just fell into, this guy is thought of as like the model of grinding to become an executive. But this sounds like the kind of guy that had Cuban done, done what he did when he hired Rick Carlisle would have happened upon a guy like this. Yeah, but Cuban wasn't going to hire this guy. Cuban viewed this guy as like, Cuban needed to bring somebody in that he thought he was over.

And he thought he was over, Nico. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy by that time was already winning playoff series. Well, Cuban was, yeah, you have to remember Cuban was the GM. He just wanted his, you know, guys under him. Once it was Haralabob, he's going to be this guy, but Donnie does this. You know, he wanted a bunch of guys that could do a bunch of different things under him. And he'd say the, you know, he'd have the final word.

This guy's not going anywhere where he's not completely in charge. He's the guy. Yeah. He's the guy. But, and by the way, the detail. They're not going to make this any easier on me, are they? Yeah. The other detail is Cuban was not, quote, directly involved in the search process,

which makes complete sense based on what we know about his role at this point. His role at this point's been very weird. Like right after the NICO thing, it was like, oh, no, Cuban's back in the fold. Back in. And was that all a PR move by the Mavs? And then he was buying the team? Wait, I forgot about that minute. Yeah.

He was buying, he was assembling a group of investors to buy the team. You see Maasai, T.C? What was the point of that? The Mavsai, Versailles Ujiri. T.C. Oh, big news. This is big news. Let's promote Game Day men's health right here.

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to Kanye Rosa like Blake does with his little... Pizza and Dominoes with the subbies. Little game. They're trying to help the show. That's to help the show. Well, the last two times we've done this,

we've met two people who were unaware that we had a podcast. Boy, where'd you guys go? What happened to you guys? Kind of helping the show. I support you. One listener at a time. That's great.

No, that's cool. We could add 12 a year. I support you. I'm not against him. It's just saying it's crap. What a dick. I'm not being a jerk. The PR team together will handle it.

That's ignore him, Blake. That's why I need that live audio stream. Well, this is our once-a-month plea to like and subscribe and do our, I told you, I have to lead off every NBR of this kind of stuff. I don't support you on this. Smash. I do. It doesn't seem to be working, so let me try this.

As of right now, we have 627 five-star reviews on Apple Podcasts. If that gets to 700 by the end of the week, I will double my Angelo scholarship to the North Texas Food Bank. 200 bucks to North Texas Food Bank. If we get to 700 by the end of the week, please. If not, if not, then I'm going to punch a homeless guy. in the stomach A lot of people might rather that His fate rests in your hands

All right, bad bits We brought this up on the show There was a lady at a Spurs game texting an 84 point fine About how did all these dirty Mexicans Get tickets to this game And the actual team The Spurs had to put out

A statement saying that they Disagreed with that woman Who sat in Section 137 like Mexicans at their game. Yeah, I mean, it's no sweat for the Spurs to do it, but it's unfortunate to even have to. It's just one, I mean, it's obviously not just one person, but what are you going to do?

Poor Lovita. Pointed out that they have bars of soap in their arena. Keep everybody clean. What if arenas did that? They had a Philip Kingston bar of soap. You hand it to the next guy. After you finish washing your hand, the guy is standing behind you.

you. Soap is soap. Yeah. Our gummy thought of the month. Oh. We don't do this every month. Okay. But I thought this was a good month for it.

Because the person who is the face of HIV, his name was Magic Johnson. Yeah. That one does really mess you up. That hits. The only wean are powerful enough to not get killed by HIV. Yeah. It was a. There's so many levels.

Right. Let's do this. Things Dan and Jake want. April 7th, Jake wants to write commercials for big companies. I don't remember. You're kind of doing it now. What do you mean? Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing.

Commercials? I don't know. You know what we might have been doing? We might have been talking about how Tim Heidecker got to do Old Spice. Tim and Eric did a bunch of actual commercials where they just got a ton of money. And they didn't have to make it on like adult swim budget. I mean, you just wrote the tagline for Game Day. Get Hard.

Yeah. Thank you, Ted Emrick. I mean, they have to love that. That's encouraging. We'll find out. You're the newest madman. April 17th, Dan wants to write a Geico Caveman episode. You got some time coming up?

I want to have AI write it for me. But, no, I just feel like... No, yeah, that's right. Because we wanted to do like... Yeah, we want to do like Always Sunny did Lethal Weapon 6 or whatever We want to do the... We're going to bring it back.

The Geico Caveman. Okay. So I will write it. It's rich source material just sitting there. I'm going to write it and we're going to produce it. We're going to have it. It's going to be great. And the black face just like the...

We'll just have Jake doesn't get his eyebrow wax for a month. Would that look like that then? Yes. Just go straight across? Yeah. They would go all the way everywhere. Like a headband? My brother, Bilo.

Borat's little brother. Kim Spins, I'm not going to play the open because we didn't have any new ones in the month of April. Fastball gone. We are sitting at 581 total. People stopped getting in trouble. I don't know about that.

One that did stick out to me because I actually did think about it a lot. The David Blaine Kim Spinn. Who, Rape? Yeah. He just appeared. There's no way. It's not a normal rate.

It had to have something. No, there's no doubt that he just doing something with his hands. He used salt or something. I don't know. Yeah. Salt. He's just like sprinkling dust or something. I'm in you.

Yeah, right. Didn't see that coming, so to speak. Yeah. No, I don't think it was brute force. Put that in the caveman. episode. The magician rape? They're talking about David Blaine.

But absolutely no one is shocked. Like nobody's ever met someone who's a magician. They're like, this guy's probably sexually pretty normal. So, you know, it's not Mr. Rogers. Movie tropes waking up on the beach after floating after a shipwreck. He's so dead. Never make it. Catching someone from falling over a balcony with one arm.

Ooh, yeah, maybe even one hand. By the wrist. Right on us. Pull them back up. And then final one, keys in the visor. Oh, yeah. There they are. Where could the keys be?

Oh, they're up there. Has a buddy. Just one. In April. Jake has a buddy who bought the no puppet sickle Fidel Castro hat. Truth. It's a collector's item.

You're not mass producing those? No. Those didn't sell well? As we've discussed, that was an early debate amongst us. Anchored phrases, we've got striking resemblance, embroiled in controversy, fortuitous bounce, Vim and Viguer.

I've used that before. Oh, no doubt. Oh, yeah. We both have, Blake. Mass exodus and full-fledged. No half-fledged. Short words, we had decel for deceleration. You might still have it.

that. And this one is egregious. Voo. Oh, yeah. For rendezvous. Oh, no. What was the hockey one? There was a hockey one. Oh, DTF St. Louis. Yeah, I'm trying to find the hockey one. There was a hockey one called. Oh, reggie.

It was reggie season. Yes. John Butchagros. Yes. You guys played that. Yeah, I got to put that on there. So over the weekend, the PGA tour had what they now call a signature event. It's a bigger purse, it's a better field. So like, 20 million or something crazy? Exactly right. You know, and Sheffler's in it, and so Cameron

Young wins. And it wasn't set on the broadcast, but I saw a reference to it on social media. It's a siggy. For signature of that. A siggy? Yeah. Another siggy. Coming up this week. Here's BucciGraske, if you want.

Well, it's the playoffs. You've got to find a way, and they find a way to get a big one. And then Linnholm ties it. Elias Lindholm. A guy that's a play. They were 0 for 39 going back to the reggie season. Reggie. Will you do that next year? Oh, yeah.

With Burline? Yes. Of course. Steve, it's only the reggie season, but boy, the Cowboys wasn't good. He couldn't sneak anything by. And the great thing about him, he'll just go with it. He goes with it. Steak and Snickers.

He went with it. It was no problem. I loved having Burline on the game. God, that was great. On the giraffe, that was excellent. Man. He was down for it, too. Ted was there, but I couldn't figure out, did he know who Ted was?

He had no idea. He had no idea. I texted him that weekend. He didn't respond. Nothing? Nothing. How many games did you two do together? Twelve.

He has no idea who I am. I feel like your voice is pretty distinct. He has no idea. He introduced me to Jim Nance when we were in Denver. He has no idea who I am. Oh, yeah. It was actually kind of cool that day. He actually really surprised me.

I remember you came back and said that. Yes. That's right. Again, you know, very short deal. But you guys also let him put the painting up over the table you were sitting out of himself. To honor him, we had that in the food. He brings it to every restaurant. How do you feel about this?

Yes. How about that? Jim, it's okay. It was like 45 minutes before kick. Romo wasn't there yet. No, he wasn't. And remember. I never know how much of that stuff you guys want to talk about.

No, it's okay. So, no, let's bring it up. That was exaggerated. We get the truck feed on our monitor there in the booth, which is great, which means there's no delay. Yeah, when you're calling the game, you can always look at it is live and up to date. And they are rehearsing. Nancy and Roma are rehearsing the on-camera open. And Romo hasn't even bothered to put on the shirt and tie yet.

Nancy's in the full suit, the CBS Blazer the whole bit. But Romo is still in the t-shirt. He's fucking wears a t-shirt to the game. Again, he's going to put the shirt over it and tie the tie. Jeans. Yes. He hasn't changed yet. Not that far before the game.

No. You can tell Nance has probably been in that suit for five hours. I mean, Nancy's leading him to the Bo Nix package of his highlights this season. And he is still in the t-shirt. He looks half awake every time. All this stuff makes me like Romo a lot more. You know how he looks asleep on TV? He looks more asleep on TV.

It's crazy. I look forward to it every week. All right. Why Hillary Lost? There's a lot here. I'm introducing it to the committee. Not all of these can be let in. Agreed.

All right. So let's try to cut it in half. Let's start with April 7th. Unconscious bias behavior therapy. This was brought up because of this. Jack Morris said this when referencing Shohei Otani. Now what do you do with Shoah Otani? Be very better careful.

That man needs therapy. So I don't want to make it seem like I reject the idea of unconscious bias and that it can be harmful. I reject the idea that Jack Morris is going to sit there for six hours over the course of three or four weeks and come away like a radically different person. I think that is insane. You're going to come back a radically different person the wrong way. You'll be pissed, exactly.

Yeah, you're going to be like, man, this sucks. I thought I was on board with these people. And that's the thing. That's how you end up at the video. So we should let this in? I think so. It's in, okay. It has to be.

All right, kids assuming they get the foul ball from the adult. Okay, I won't let that in. But it's wrong. It's the kids these days. And it's probably the adults around them these days, right? Participation trophy The adults around the other kids But I've long said this

I've been going to games for like Almost 50 years I guess And I've never got a foul ball Why should that little effing four-year-old get one And I'm the one who caught it I just caught it And I didn't take it out of the four-year-old's hand So F that kid

Dan it's gonna mean more to the kid Fight me for it It's not going to mean more to the kid And he never had a dad to get him a ball there So he would see the other dads Getting balls How about that? I got to get my own bowl.

Okay, so we're not letting that in. No. Let's see. Well, you said we had to cut it down. That's why. I know. Otherwise, I'd let them all in. I know.

Let's let them all in. I know. No. We're building. That's the whole point of. We're building here. April 9th, being othered. That.

What's that mean? It was on the same podcast where we got MNBA. That's the next one. The MNBA. Which Ted sent me, Cam Patterson made a reference to on Weekend Update this weekend. So they had Cam Patterson on talking about the Megan the stallion, Clay Thompson breakup, and he fit in an MNBA comment. Like he was trying to position himself as so woke and on board with women that he was like,

what? There's a W&A. He's a guy from Kill Tony that made it to SNL. New cast member this season. Young black guy. way outside the mold of typical what you think they'd bring in. I like that guy. Yeah.

This was a good bit. He did the fake Michael Irvin a few months ago, like around the college football playoff. But it was... They did the MNBA, huh? A WNBA for men? What would they even call it? Yes.

I've never heard of this. They've never heard of that. The MNBA? So yes, othered and MNBA are going to have to be in there. Okay. All right. Stay with me. This is several.

into one category titled Space. Oh, boy. The astronaut went back into the ship to take the moon plush toy. The fact that there is a moon plush toy. The astronaut wanted to name the moon crater after his dead wife. There's a union in charge of naming things in space

and MTV renaming the award from moon man to moon person. Oh, man. This has downloaded a whole era. I think that's all in it. The Rust Belt just turned into the red, belt. Thanks to all of that.

This one... It's a fake trophy. You don't have to rename it. This one just says Adam McKay. Probably. From April 20th, your picture as a place setting at your birthday party.

No, I've thought about that. I think that's a good bit. A good bit. How did it go from W.HL to good bit? Because I think that guy's wife was messing with it. I think your wife Like putting stuff out to embarrass you as you get older is kind of funny.

All right. Nike's Boston Marathon ad had to change because it said Walker's tolerated. Dude. That's in. Yeah, that's so everything that's been going on with Nike, but that's, that's brutal. How about these? Gluten-free communion. We're suspending disbelief on part of this.

That's just a... care of people. You can't put that in. Okay, leave it out. The veggie Italian sandwich. What's wrong with that? Yeah, again, this is a guy who just only eats meat. How about you just don't get to experience the Italian if you don't eat meat?

That's a good point. I have to call it some other name, just eat your lettuce. It is a weird thing with vegetarians. You need to have... You want to feel a part of things. Like I need fake chicken. tofu. They let you, like, kill fake animal.

You beat his brains in? No, yeah, but it's when you have to make something emulating meat. Right. Like, I thought we're against meat. Why don't need a fake burger? Like, I don't want something to taste like a burger. They should construct like a tofu bird for you to strangle. Yeah, that's right.

This was the day that Brandon Aubrey signed his contract. Jane Slater tweets about how important Brandon's wife was. was in all of this. True. That's in. Only if Dan says. The NBA teammate award. Oh, like good teammate?

Yeah. God, man. That takes me back to when I was a kid, I could not handle the Lady Bing Award. Like when you first started getting my awards book. No way. How about lady? It would always be Paul Korean.

And I was like, I knew that guy was kidding. In the toughest sport in the world. It's called the biggest pussy in the sport. And it just drove me nuts. So, teammate, it's tough for me to separate from that just means a guy who wasn't any good. You know why? Because I want a lot of teammate of the year awards. Well, I think Gretzky might get the Lady Bing, though, too.

It's just if you didn't get penalties. It was like gentlemanly play or whatever. Yeah. Okay, what does that mean? It's a weird, weird award. Two more. Michael Stipe recording a tree. I'm pretty sure I got ball sacked on that.

I don't know, it's real. But, yeah, he recorded a tree and then played it back for the tree. And it recorded that. And it will be on his next album. The reaction. And then finally, a listener sent this in, renaming Gay Not Gay to Why Hilary Lost. Yeah, it's probably why Hillary lost. Yeah, probably.

Brett Hall won the Lady Bing. What? In 1990. I know. Final thing. General notes from the show. Be quick. Back to April 2nd, Dan did not like the 7 a.m. workout.

Oh, yeah, how we've been since then. You were all about it that day, but then the next day, I think you said you fell asleep at 3 p.m. Yeah, it was terrible. Everybody's like, oh, you're going to love the morning workout. And I did not love the morning workout. 9.30 I can do. You settled in there. But not 7 a.m.

8.15, a little difficult, but I just need to get up, get going, eat. Yeah, you eat first. As opposed to doing it on an empty stomach? Yeah, you got to eat. No, you don't. You definitely don't. I don't know if you're supposed to or not. I know different types of training, they say different stuff, but you don't have to eat.

I'll throw up. Well, I don't work out very hard. That's true. A couple of things. Here are, I've got a lot of Jake thoughts here. The first is Jake is pro-easter because it's a warm holiday with family with a built-in activity and food freedom. I stand by all that. Can I give you a Jake thought?

Yeah. What do you think about Lucy? Love it. Keep that thing on me at all times. I bet I've got some in here right now. Lucy. Lucy is nicotine. Pure. Pure gray yet.

Watch me cut it on this knife. And then just do a little... I'd do a nummy of Lucy. Tight! Nicotine pouches, the only pouch that delivers long-lasting on-demand flavor. There are other. pouches and they're trash. What is your favorite flavor?

I'm an apple ice fan. Apple ice, apple cider. You like the espresso, right? There's a mango one that's very popular. They've got the gum. They've got the ones with little breakers in them. That's what I like. Tobacco free.

So you got to know about this. Heavily. Not messy. Heavily implied. Oh, sorry. It's okay. It's 100% tobacco free. 100% pure nicotine at lucy.

at lucy.com slash dumbzone promo code dumbzone you get 20% off your first order. I said it to subscribe and safe. There you go. Dumbzone. Here you go. Other Jake thoughts. Jake says don't be alone with your wife at sea unless you want to be accused of murder. That's just very basic.

Yeah, you got to really, and yeah, you're going to have to be overly careful with her. I know. And then sometimes don't you think like, you know, like an athlete you're overly careful, you make a mistake. Now you slip. She's dead. And you're like, I knew this would happen.

Jake thinks there will be AI backlash. People will be judged for picking AI over people. What do you mean? Just that there's always some sort of like hipster, like analog sort of shame if you're not preserving the old ways. You can get your food delivered by a little robot. Or I think we were talking about the cab. Yeah.

And it costs more if it's a person, you know, and people will get, just like you do for a while, it was like if you shopped at Walmart. It was like, you were killing Main Street. Yeah, there might be mild backlash, but it's, most people won't. I mean, I don't know. I'm not confident in anything.

It seems like there's a lot of backlash, but it's just the news. I don't really know. Jake thinks the over-the-top sports dad needs an Asian wife to go along with it. For it to work, yeah. You have to. You can't have a strong-willed American, white or black, or really Latino. You have to have a passive. like, what are you doing here?

This is not right. Somebody's going to have moral concern. They're going to have opinions. But frankly, the more submissive your wife is, the more likely psychopath sports dad is to work. It says C. Jason Robertson and Tiger Woods. There were a couple examples. Jake rates his weekend by how much cheese he ate, which then led us to the cheese versus oral. Yeah.

Hypothetical. And then my final Jake thought from the notes here. Jake has always liked Barbara Streisand because she looks like Miss Piggy and Miss Piggy is down to fuck. The people writ large do what I meant there. I never really thought about it that much,

but the way people have explained it, she really is there to let you know it's okay to have these feelings. I never thought about it before you brought it up, but now that you mention it. Yeah. I can see it. I love it.

Dan's wife found a dead bunny in the pool skimmer. I think Dan get it. Jake's wife asked him to clean up dog vomit. They all want equality. Yeah, until these. Dan was a big message in a bottle guy growing up. I always hoped to find one. Still time.

This was from high school, Mike. Pre-ticket Dan was sending his intern to lingerie shops to see if they were playing his radio station. That's a great bid, dude. Very, very FM, but awesome. Jake got in the cure for Poon. Haven't we all? Bill in the blank. So many dudes in the room just now.

Fill in the blank. Dan's was church. Seems counterintuitive. Jake paid $400 for Nora and Kristen to get their ears pierced. I've heard from fellow, you know, dumb zone subscribers that they know that same place. We all do. I'm not going to, I don't want to do this in depth, okay? Yes.

So the soccer league didn't tell us at the start of the year, no earrings. Now there's earrings, but you can take them out. You're going to put tape on them. No, this ref's okay with it. That ref's not. Now they send an email. Don't let anybody do it. It's a mess.

It really just depends on if they see it. But we had to take a bunch of them out on Saturday. The four or five girls screaming at the top of their lungs. And then after the game, like when girls won't go back in. Yes. I told you, I wouldn't go back in. Everyone's screaming and I'm looking at the rough. Like, you're fucking happy.

It's insane, dude. Yeah, but if they didn't do that, I mean, could you imagine waking up on Sunday morning and you're reading the paper? All of the... Just an epidemic of earless children. Right. Just all ripped out. That's the thing about... Plank soccer.

Like, where have we ever heard of a major, major injury? Yeah, what are they hanging out with ferrets? Just ripping their stuff on? A-U soccer game. Yeah. This is maybe at the highest, highest levels. We learned lessons. We should have been prepared for it.

But in the moment, dude, just a whole field of screaming. Girl. Yeah, it should be. It's idiotic. All right, just a couple more. Dan's wife loved draft day. I forgot about that. That's good for you, dude.

Two birds. The Cowboys draft, if you think about it, it started with Jerry almost falling into Bill Clinton, and it ended with the Cowboys getting Caleb. Downs. Hell yeah. Not bad. I'm here to negotiate the draft.

We find out from a listener that our Mr. Hat song was his sobriety trigger. Yes. And we played it. He gets the shakes when he hears it. We warned him. And then finally, talking about Uncle Dan, Dan is a fan of cannons.

Do you like that one? Check out the cannons on her. Yeah, the JP Morgan lady? Yes. That's a good bit. Cannon. So Mike Cousins went to high school with her. No way.

White Plains High School in New York. Can't confirm? Can confirm. That he knows her, not confirming the cans. The internet wanted to know if that part of the story is true. No, I don't know about that. Is Cairns just short for Canons? Wow.

Wow. Dude, you're so deep. Gummy thought. A new gummy thought of the month for May. Are boobs short for boobitos? What do you mean, a can short for cannons? Well, I'm saying, you say nice cans. Like, I often run into a lady and I'll just say, hey, nice cans.

And she'll be like, oh, my gosh, thank you. It gets all giggly. Like, oh, you. You're like, oh, I don't know. But if you say nice canons, then it seems, yeah. There's your April. Ooh. Well, Big Langell.

That worked that well. 700 podcast ratings. Please. For the hungry. Don't make Blake punch a homeless guy. I have one in mind. The dums, you swear that the testimony you were about to give this committee

is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth to help you God. I do. Please take a seat. Senator Yves, it's your time. Gregory Hirsch, executive assistant to Tom Wamsgans, correct? Yes. Yes, if it is to be said.

I'm sorry? If it is to be said, so it is. Are you all right? Yes, I merely wish to answer in the affirmative fashion. You can speak to us normally. Okay, no, thank you, sir. So I shall. You're listening to The Dumb Zone.

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You're good to go. A lot of variety, a lot of options. Vegetables that I actually like. Fish? if you're into that, if you're not into the red meat. Vibrant ingredients says here they got some ready-to-eat-eat salads with vibrant ingredients. If you go to factormeals.com slash dumbzone 50 off, you can use that dumb zone 50 off, get 50% off. And free daily greens per box.

Dumbzone 50 off. See website for more detail. Uh, yeah, so we love fresh, never frozen, factor meals. It is kind of interesting. I think it's a normal to describe vegetables as a vibrant ingredient, but, you know, typically describe like a vegetable as vibrant. It's an odd juxtaposition. Here's Jane with the dumb self.

Matt's hired beside you, Jerry. No, that was definitely one that I remember as a kid being like, I don't know about this term vegetable. Do you hear? Yeah. Regarding a person? Car accident, turned to a vegetable. I'm like, damn. I feel like they don't use that much anymore.

No, they don't. When I was a kid, it was very popping. What's the most difficult part when you're eating a vegetable? It's the wheelchair. I like that. Okay. Okay. you would have had that in the holster.

Okay. No. No. Is that a $100 Dale joke? Who would be offended by that? So I told you guys just the other day, there was a guy who was arrested for sending letters to the government. He was sending letters to the Department of Justice. He was sending letters to the Department of Defense, and he was arrested for this.

And I told you, that's a range of outcomes when I'm 70. sending letters to the government that's like a 25% chance Fort Worthman was arrested last week after allegedly trying to enter the CIA headquarters three straight days out in Virginia he was arrested the third time

he had also tried to get into the Pentagon during this time authorities say in the affidavit he understood he was trespassing but he believed he was intended to be at CIA Like working there? Like he had someone to talk to. They told him on day two, if you come back tomorrow, we will arrest you.

And he was like, I need to get arrested. There are people inside I need to talk to. So I will be here tomorrow and they arrested it. 28-year-old dude from Fort Worth. I need to speak with Jason Bourne. 28, that's interesting too. Okay. Just because you say as an old man and it is true, like the older you get.

You start calling talk radio stations at two. And you get more political and all that where it's almost weird because you have less time on the earth to care about what's going on. Like, why am I political now? I should just be worrying about living these next 20 years or so. That is an odd. Yeah, I mean, certainly there's like the human. When you're younger, you don't care at all. Or at least many.

The human urge to, I guess, feel like it's better than we left it. Is that what you're dealing with? Because obviously they vote disproportionately. Yeah. Big time. They'll care. What's up with that? But it is kind of funny if you think about...

It would seem like this should happen more often. Because this guy, I'm just going to guess, was probably pretty online. But there is like an actual physical place called CIA you can drive up to, you know? Like this guy who thinks this doesn't cross over into real life too often, but... And where's he from? From here? It says Fort Worth, yeah. It's long drive.

Fort Worth, man. If you stopped a couple times or once. It's not quite the California to D.C. train that you took, but... Did you say that you watched one or more than one episode of Neighbors? Friends and Neighbors? No, on HBO. There was a show called Neighbors. It was like a dispute show.

Oh, probably three quarters of one. I watched the first episode. Okay, go on. I'm interested. I'm going to watch. it, but I definitely think you, I could see why you struggle with it, because they lean into the reality TV show parts of it. It just feels fake.

It feels like there is some seed of dispute, but then once they know the cameras are around, we're going to ratchet this up. And you have a lot of the type of people who would end up on the news in a neighborhood if the, if Brian from Birmingham came out there, you know, it's the type of people who would wonder, it's Sweet Brown. In Salina, police are investigating a fight between neighbors that escalated into a shooting in the Carter Ranch neighborhood.

It says here the two men were arguing over the proper way to create unity in a locker room on a football team. Jumping jacks. Aren't they a little happy? Aren't they kind of happy? It's not, yeah. Would they take a shooting over another? I halfway wonder if they're not people in Salina

seeding little different crimes throughout the city that have nothing to do with sex. Do something funny. I don't know. Knock over an ATM. Just please. Get this story off the front page. Please have your penis in your pants.

I got a couple tough emails too, man. Of people that older guys, it just is what it is. If an older guy emails that listen to the show, it means more. I'm way more inclined to listen. And there were two guys who were like 60s.

And they're like, you know, I grew up in Salina, Bill, the coach. Like he was at my dad's bedside when he was terminally ill. Like, this is a good man. You know, I don't know about his son, but we've known this guy for 40 years. But the problem is now there's a charge from 40 years ago. Or an allegation. About the coach? The dad, yeah.

Oh, what's the allegation? We talked about this. What is it? He had forcible sex with a student. you don't want that he was probably like mid-20s at the time right just getting started long time ago right what are you laughing at just i didn't know which just getting started ted meant okay coaching or like so is this one of those things where you know honey i i don't care how many guys you've been with in color what you've done before it's clearly i'm in love with you now you know it's

Like the job you do, like all that you might have had to have forcible sex to become this alpha football coach and bring us all these state titles. That's the problem. TC and I were talking about this last night with the Michael Jackson movie. It's real easy to say art and the artist. Right. But the problem is that if you've ever created anything, right, you know that there are things going on in your mind when you do it. What if one fed the other? Yes.

Without viewing a starfish bottom. Would he have written? Would he have, yeah, like, that's where he thought of beat it. Like, oh my gosh. T.C. tried to make the claim that actually none of the allegations came until most of the good music was made. So, like, you can kind of find a time. Okay. But I have to figure it was in his head.

Like, what about Beethoven's, like, is there a possibility that he had to, you know. I think if you, there are people you meet every day. If you knew, like, there were worse. moment, then you'd be like, I can't, I can't listen to this. This is a story we've ignored entirely, and we will continue to do so, save for this one funny piece of audio. This is from WFAA's online coverage of the Tanner Horner case. So this is a guy who's like a FedEx driver who killed a little girl.

It's really bad. And it's the trials going on right now. And you recall from our trial, or hearing or whatever, A lot of stuff comes up that you didn't really think had anything to do with what you were going to be talking about. So this guy definitely kidnapped this little girl. They have it on tape. So I'm not really sure why the rest of his life matters as much, but they do get into all that. And there's a part where he was, I guess, under testimony, talking about how he was frustrated at his roommate.

So what we have here is what is WFA's investigative reporter's name? Tonya. Harding. I think it might be Eiseners. She's been in the game forever. She's their investigative reporter. Tanya Isle. Used to be with the morning news.

Yes. So she's the one when things are really bad. They send her. She's on with another lady. Tony and I were first talking about it. And yes, it is by far. One of the, the worst. The worst.

Smith, how long did he work for FedEx? He didn't actually directly work for FedEx. He worked for a contractor. I'm not sure how long it was. think it was very long. It doesn't sound like he was able to, um, you know, hold down jobs for very long. Right. Yeah. He got into, he got into, got into, got into it with a customer at Walmart. We know that. Okay. So we're just got to build in the case here, I guess. Again, I'm not totally sure why this all matters, but we know that. He drove for, uh, Amazon. He worked at

Albertsons, um, smoked K2, obviously. Um, and I don't know what a caucus. And I don't know what a blocking roommate is but maybe you're not going to know but maybe I don't know I'm gonna I'm gonna I'll back it up he was a cock-glot like what are we saying I think he said he had one and he was pissed off about it I think like he's sexually frustrated type thing they're trying to get into his whole oh why did he have to kidnap and okay yeah and I don't know what a cock-blocking roommate is I'm not I'm not gonna No, I don't know. I'm going to. Okay.

I'll refrain from going there. That was news to me. I'll leave that one alone. That feels like trouble for me. Open in that door. Who's the one saying she doesn't know what a cockp-was? Is that the investigation? Tanya Isser.

Yeah. Who was she with there? I don't know. Another reporter? Okay, that's funny. No, I mean, yeah. You've talked about Marilyn Manson. When they put it online, they'll get other.

Like you said, online coverage. I got you. But you have video games, Marilyn Manson, you know, other things that could drive you to do this. No one's ever looking at that goddamn. Buthead who won't let me. Yeah. The cock blocking roommate. Every time.

I just love the... Not guilty by reason of cock blocking roommate. Right. Yes. Right. Forget insanity as a defense when you have that. Had a stolen fire department or fire truck in Houston. That's always fun.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's twisted metal. That's what I was going to say is I don't think there was actually a fire truck on twisted metal proper. But it seems that that game in general just set our whole generation and a half. I haven't looked at an ambulance without wanting to steal it or an ice cream truck. Do you think a fire truck is just automatic? Like, could we drive it?

Man, I bet you guys got to ask Jimmy. A lot of those trucks now are automatic, yeah. Okay. I thought they had to, like, drive the back and the front or something. What? I think, interesting. What if Jimmy would just let us take one out? I think that there's a steering wheel in the back.

There's a guy who... It's old ladder. Yeah. Okay. The older trucks. People can't drive standards anymore. That's what I mean. Almost all modern fire trucks are equipped.

And play can, right? You can. My Mazda is a standard. First down. This fire truck, engine 11 was... That is full-backed dime. Yeah. You're not telling me how fast I'm going to go.

I'm going to make you go. It was discovered at a golf course where it had hit a car and crashed on the course. Boy, if you steal a fire truck, I think you need to hit something. At some point, you probably don't have a choice. Let's see here. Is anything else we want to do? Oh, what was there on five things today? I wanted to make sure we covered.

Five things with Cape Ball. Oh, yeah. The CNN's Cape Baldwin? Dan got very excited. Or do you do the newsletter? They don't use Cape Baldwin and all the stuff. I know.

They do like five of them a day. Oh, I know what it was. Okay. I'm going to reissue entirely what I said last night to T.C. But do you guys ever when we hear the audio of us talking about coronavirus right when it first started? Do you ever hear that and think, like, boy, I really want to improve my game for next time? well there's something called

henta virus that has broken out on a cruise ship and if you this is the first time you're hearing this word right so

well like the painting that they do at the Indian wedding Hena Hena Hanna Hanna

Hanna HANT animated porn Hintai no Oh, it's not like that. See, these are the jokes, though. You see what I'm saying?

Last time it was on, it's like Mexican beer virus. Oh, yeah. Okay, you're saying the Wuhan clan. We should not be doing this. Well, I'm saying, just know that now is the time. Once this eradicates half of our population, you'll go back. You'll be hearing this. So get to work.

Haunted virus outbreak kills three on cruise ship. Three other people are like violently, violently, violently ill. Boy, killing. That's a bad. That is bad. It's a Yeah. Yeah, the Dutch cruise ship.

I did see Cape Baldwin did mention there was somebody famous had this a couple years ago. Yeah, who was it? It wasn't Tom Hanks. It wasn't Tom Hanks. But I know what you're saying. Oh, it was Gene Hackman's wife. Gene Hackman's wife died of this last year. That was before the lizard ateer.

Spread by rodent urine and droppings. Yeah, that's awful, dude. Yuck. And then I do want to just check in. We talk about this every couple days now. But, Blake, do you have any gas price tips? No. That's like every news story this morning.

I told you stock up a couple years ago. Should have listened. If you were to listen, you'd have reserves right now. Yeah, they're predicting five bucks by the end of May. No way. Oh, my. Yeah. Nationwide? Not here. No, I think that'll be the national average, so we'll be below that.

My mom sure talked about gas prices on our weekly call. Doesn't like it. She's against it. No, really, she's not supporting it. No. Did she tell you what it used to be? When she was growing up. National average was at 445 today.

Texas is at 3992. Hell yeah. But, yeah, dude. It's because we got all this oil here. Yeah. I just, I had to change my oil, I just went out to my guard. We mentioned off the top that GCISD had some elections, some school board spots that flipped. But in other big local electoral news, there are two races that I wanted to make sure you knew about.

One, a few years ago, there was a guy who made a very shameless plug or a ploy, I guess, to try to get himself media coverage. He's from my hometown. He changed his name to literally anybody else so that he could get on the presidential ballot. But he ran for mayor in Northwich and Hills the other night. So every time I was- Yeah, I saw him. Every time I was refreshing my election results.

Wait, he changed his name to what? Literally anybody else. On the screen it says else. Yeah. The name, the word literally? Yeah. Is his name? Yes.

Okay, literally anybody else? Yeah. Oh. L.A. He was on the ballot. He lost 80-20. for the North Richland Hills mayor. Yeah.

Yeah. He got 20. More than he got it, president. And then the other one, there's a new mayor, Dan, in Mount Vernon, Texas. Former NBA Center and future Dumb Zone guest, Greg Oster Tag. All right. Okay.

I know him very well. Once had his baseball pants stolen by Dan and a charity baseball game. forcing the seven-foot center to wear adult medium pants. I feel like he might remember that. We were talking about it in the break. We've got to find out. Like how many times we've got to happen? We've got to happen.

What do you have ever been standing in a locker room in front of everybody with these tiny, tiny pants on? I think we have to get him. His restaurant is great. So there's apparently some listeners that know him. Duncanville's own. Mayor of the day. What town?

Where is he? Mount Vernon. The city that hired Art Bryles. It's not that far. him his rehab heading east. Gosh, what it? So, Eric Johnson has to be pissed.

All the sports in a city mixing. The Dumb Zone News. Like and subscribe. Happy birthday. This. This segment of the Dumb Zone brought to you by Frankl and Frankel. Even if you die in a car accident,

we could help your living family get the bag. Frankl and Frankl That's right 214 or 817 then dial all 3s We don't necessarily want you to get in the car accident But if you do Please call the Frankles

And mention the dumb zone With your last gas And then your family will get Really what you deserve Quite frankly but you know So we want to make a phone call We are doing so right now I don't know if he'll be able to answer

I have gotten information that he may be traveling today. Well, let's try it anyway. We're calling our Dumb Zone birthday of the day right now. Rudy Giuliani. It's apparently very good. Please leave your message for 2.5. Oh, no. Okay.

It's Akash Singh's birthday. All right. How about that? Can we wish him happy birthday? Is he? Did you? We're leaving a message? Or no?

Yeah, hang on. Beepoo, beep, boop. Did you pre-informed him you might call him? Yeah. Okay. That's why I was... Yeah. I was informed that he may be traveling today as he is on a tour.

He's like... I thought the New York City thing would have ended his bit. Ah, gosh, pick up. Dude, I'm in jail. I need bail money. Ha ha ha. Just kidding. This is Dan McKeigh.

With the rest of the dumb zone, wish you a you a happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. Happy birthday. Thank you. Happy birthday. Thank you. Anyway, bro.

Bad beat there at the end. Bad beat, let's hear. Happy birthday. Thank you. Oh. I could make Sidney make that noise. Sydney Sweeney. Okay.

I did after watching Euphoria last night. I challenged Blake on I could make Cindy. Sweetie. If she just gave me a. chance. Anyway, Akash. Set your heart. You're on the way up.

She's on the way down. No, she's not. Akash Singh, dominating the world now. Are he still leaving a voicemail? Oh, yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah. We haven't hung up yet?

He's deleted this 30 seconds ago. He would never delete a voicemail from us. He's listening to all this. So, hey, man. No, he starts to film the special. Oh, he hasn't filmed it yet? The hell, bro. He didn't film it when you were up there?

I mean, he might have filmed it, but that's not going to be the one. It wasn't the one. special. Thanks for inviting Jake to New York and not us. That's what I'll say. Yeah, you get the food for him. I know, I'd have been right there. Anyway, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you.

Community Mechanical presents on this day in history. They're coming out for my PM tomorrow. Nice. The preventative maintenance, they've been out, of course, they roll out there every six months or so. community

DFW.com TFW.com I just I have Travis's phone number in my favorites so that's why I don't have the phone number

quickly but you can call you can put Travis in your favorites too text them just text them every time you're a little lonely Brandon Aubrey

did that once and got a great deal it's 469 667-7-290 It's our HVAC company. They're the best, Jerry. The best. CommunityDFW.com.

Get that preventative maintenance now. It makes sure, you know, everything is set for the summer. That's searing heat, Jake. You know, it's a big thing, they say. You ever been in the heat in Texas? Yeah, a lot of talk about that over the weekend, man. I mean, it's probably today in Twitter, but just one lady who has a very big account works. She's like a realtor

influencer on Twitter, tweets about DFW, and then my whole timeline, the whole weekend is DFW talk. It's too hot. It sucks. There's no... Nothing here. How could you raise a family here? Well, if you are doing it,

you should hook up with... Community Mechanical. What do they have that in New York? Absolutely not. So it's Monday, May 4th. May the 4th be with you. No. This day in 1893, cowboy Bill Pickett invents bulldogging.

With a cow? The skill of grabbing cattle by the horns and wrestling them to the ground. He invented that. They're all birddogging that. On this day in 1970... Clayton, have you ever done that, like on a small... Grab the mic, Philip.

That didn't void his contract? I thought you were answering his question. The bulldogging. It doesn't matter. On this day in 1970, Ohio National Guardsmen were at an anti-war protest at Kent State University. And they didn't want the protest to keep going on. Well, they were just protesting it. So they did something, and then the protest ended.

So really, you'd have to say mission accomplished, what they did was fire their guns into the crowd, killed four, wounded nine others. It's wild. And that's why Kent State is known as the Golden Flashes. That's right. That's what they say. It's wondering how we were going to get a joke about that. How do we embrace this?

On this day in 1982, Twins rookie outfielder Jim Eisenreich. He suffered from Tourette syndrome. And so he's a rookie. He's on the twins. They're playing in Boston, and you hear about the Boston fans that, like, really mean. Well, apparently they heckled him so mercilessly that he started twitching. Violent twitching became uncontrollable.

He had to remove himself from the game, and he would end up being hospitalized later this week, make many unsuccessful comeback attempts before coming back in 1984, two years later. and spending a few years in the big leagues. But anyway, he was like a top-top prospect. I'm surprised he didn't present itself as a bigger problem before then. What's his war? Jim Eisenreich. And on this day in 1996,

the Rangers became the first American League team to pitch consecutive one-hitters, Roger Pavlik, and then Ken Hill, which made me think of Ken Hill's kid. Yeah. I thought he was like the next one. Kenny Trill. I think one half into his career,

I said he'd be better than Johnny football. They didn't take that long. That game against South Carolina. It was. On a Thursday night? And he was electric. This day in Dumb Zone history, May 4th. I have a lot, so I'll go fast.

In 2020, we asked, can girls aim their pee? Still wondering. Little crosshairs down there. Dan died a little bit on this day in 2020 because the Cowboys signed Andy Dalton and some were saying maybe this could push DAC a little bit.

Dude, I remember that. I remember that. I love the maybe this will push DAC. I don't know. How many of... Joe Milton. Big arm. Pushed back a little bit.

Trey Lance. I think Jake likes this story. Maybe that's why Dak has been so good. It just always has somebody. Because they keep trading for all these guys that can push them. So Jake, when you're in an article, if the guy plays left tackle, it'll put L.T. Laramie Tunsel.

We had a ticker guy, Russell Scott, think that was just his nickname. They just called him. LT. LT. And if Shottie was his coach, you would have heard that. Yeah. It all come down to that.

My word kid, they get my grind and my investment. to this team. Houston's making L.T. Tunsel the highest paid offensive lineman in the N. That's fun reminder right there. Russell Scott, my dude. They got a great dude.

A player this year. Yeah, L.T. Overton. But he's not a left tackle. No, he's a defensive lineman. So that's, scroof me up. Lebius, Overton. Yep, L.T. That has screwed me up in this draft.

Like, I thought they got another offensive lineman. Nope. And then they didn't. But his name's L.T. It's very confusing. Uh, 2021, we had Brett Musburger on. Nice. It was great.

In 2021, this was the debut of Mavrello. Wow. Bollovich. We should have known then, man. Cuban was losing the plot. Yeah. Big time. Bad bit on this day, Vanessa Bryant launches Mombacita clothing line.

How can I capitalize on my husband's death and make a little more money? I don't make music like Eric Kemp. Dude, I was laughing so hard at all the, as Jason Tatum was getting eliminated, over the weekend, all the memes of somebody rolling their eyes, and it's just Vanessa Bryant staring at Kobe's old phone as Jason Tatum calls after another playoff. Because he texts Kobe's not. That's his thing. I still text Kobe.

They still got his number up. Extremely solid. All right. She throws the phone into the toilet. You're right. Yeah. So we're still in 2021. So, Dan, you had been talking about, I think maybe today is Pia Zadora's birthday.

Yes. And you had talked about how you'd used her penthouse magazine sometimes. And so for your birthday, I'd gotten you that pinhouse magazine. It was like in my buddy's dad's closet. It was the one. So on this day, the night before. I didn't use it. We just looked at it.

When you're that age, it's in your. You know, hey, I'm going to go to my buddy's dad's closet. You didn't bank it for later. Oh, okay. All right. The page is stuck together somehow. Well, we had big weather and the power had gone out, and you would open the magazine just to see and remembered a lot of the pictures.

So maybe you did use it. In 2022, do you all remember when Dave Chappelle got attacked on stage? Yeah, Elon was that. there, I'm pretty sure. So was Jorts. Yeah. We called him. That's right.

A Hollywood Bowl, I want to say, maybe. Yeah. He said the attacker had a knife gun. Dude, we don't really, like, belabor the point, but Jorts is straight for his gump. Yeah. If you talk to him enough, you will realize. You're like, how did you, you were with who?

Jamie Fox had to beat up the guy. Damn. And then my last thing, in 2023, we were doing the story about how there was going to be a massive solar eclipse 11 months from now. Jake is planning on avoiding the solar eclipse. Change of stripes. I'm glad I didn't.

That sounds like a guy who was on the sauce. Possibly. But I was on the sauce. Look at it. Oh, yeah, he was. Don't you think he'd be cooler? Whoa, do you look? Yeah, but the eclipse got him on the road to recovery.

That's right. It was at that moment. It was dark. It was kind of 10 degrees less, and he's like, man. It would probably make my message mean a lot less, but it would be funny if you started messing around with it and just had a different starting point every time. Like, you remember the eclipse?

Well, that's when I knew. Had to quit. Game change. That would inspire more people to quit because he'd be like, oh, wow, I'm going through this now. I also on May the 4th will quit. Yeah, but then there's only one eclipse. You're like 22 million years from now,

you could probably try to quit again. Well, I mean, for that part, I'm just saying you keep changing it, like you said. Personalize it. You'll be talking to you. It was that text. That's right. Be with you.

Drive safe, you must. And I thought then about my family. Other birthdays today. Oh, this made me sad. Dorian Finney Smith is 33. He's on the Rockets now. He bought his mom a house. Yeah.

Made good Frasier. It was weird because I was thinking, should I be sad about a guy that has like $100 million in the bank? Probably didn't have a hundred million, but he's done okay. He's doing fine. No, I mean, he was best friends with Luca. Like, everything was happening here.

He was, like, you know how some guys need a certain situation to shine? Like, here, this is where he could shine. Yeah. This is where he would be the best. Do you remember? And now he's just like this guy off the bench. NBA protocols, we had him in studio as long as you guys were masked up. We were wearing masks and he wasn't.

It was the weirdestest. Wow. And you guys hadn't been wearing masks. mask in the studio, but then he comes in, put your mask on. You have to sit where we've been talking for two hours. Wow. I was cool with it to talk to him. Yeah, he's great.

Ben Greve is 50. Reddy Stewart is 25. Cowboy. Cowboys, yeah. High hopes. Yeah. Matthew Barnaby is 53. Hockey.

Couldn't find the audio this morning, but we once had Tommy Daniels. Was in the locker room with Matthew Barnaby and Yarmir Yager. and, you know, they were in various states of undress after like a morning skate. And Tommy Daniels comes running in, all excited he had a minidisc with some audio on it. And it was Matthew Barnaby was naked. And so everybody's around with like microphones and stuff.

And then Yager walks in. And Matthew Barnaby grabs his wiener and holds it. He must have had a fair amount of wiener. And he like puts it up near the microphones. And he's like, Yager, Yager! Come me, Yager. We got the questions for you.

Like his wiener was asking Yager question. God. And we played that. I was trying to find it. Is that like a Shore mic or Audio Technica? Which model did he have? That's so good.

That's so junior high. Rory. McElroy is 37. Wow. Legend. Dawn Staley is 56. Another legend. I would definitely take her in the fight.

Mm-hmm. Mick Molloy. Mars is 75. She would have ended Gino. Mick Mars is what, Poisoned? Motley Crew?

Motley Crew. Yeah. Not Motley Lou. Pia Zadora, 72. Will Arnett is 56. T-Box. Aaron Andrews is 48.

Oh, the P-P. Carissa Thompson is 44. How about that? Do they do a podcast together? They did. Remember, because they made news about a year or so ago. What was the headline about, yeah, making up reports coming out of the out of halftime when they're unable to grab the coach coming out of the locker room.

You know, coach really stressed. We've got to take care of the ball in the second half or, you know, whatever it was. That sounds like one of their unfiltered self-deprecating and real conversation. How many five-star reviews do they have on Apple Podcast? Way more than us. What do you think about Aaron Andrews saying, you know, it's really hard to work holidays. Don't really get to see your family much. There you go.

As she's in a $4 million house. Right. Right. That's great. Yep. We saw her many weeks, Blake. Yeah, her entourage. Yep.

Lance Bass is 47. It's tearing on my heart. Alexander Gould is 32. That is the voice of Nemo. in finding Nemo. Heather Cozar is 50. Bernie? That is a former Playboy playmate.

Oh, huh. Who is not Bernie's daughter. That is Tim Couch's wife. It's K-O-Z-A-R. Okay. That's really weird. Bree Tiesi is 35. Kim Spinn.

It's Johnny Mansell's. I think he actually married her. ex-wife, and she pulled a, whatever that lady's name was at the Boston Marathon. She pulled a Rosie Ruiz and tried to cheat a marathon time and got caught. Like she tried to cheat to borderline record-breaking time. In this day and age, too, with the somehow sub-two hours. Yeah, she got caught.

And it started in her only fans. Man, I saw Allison. You see Shannon Elizabeth. Shannon Elizabeth. Yeah. What was it? How much in the first week? From American Pie.

Oh, yeah, I saw that. I mean, I didn't. Kendall Sermon is 32. That is our intern from 2017 who compiled the birthday list. Oh, right on. And so she put her name in there, and I'm like, all right, I'll read it from here on. Good for her. She's in the game somewhere.

Maybe UT, TCU? You're thinking about Kendall Hunter. Oklahoma State. Dumb Zone birthday of the day. Certainly it's Akash, but. He's too high to be the dumb zone birthday of the day. It's Richard Jenkins is 79. Stepbrothers.

From Stepbrothers and the detective in DTF St. Louis. He's great. Nice. Born on the standout ed, Paul Gleason, the principal in the breakfast club. And Clayton, Mr. Fuji. Well, he'll throw the salt in the eyes, won't he, Clayton? Says here, professional wrestler. Oh, that's right.

Choppy, choppy, if I remember correctly. Valvin is creeped out so much. But that was always a good chance to get a beat because Valvinus always had like the nastiest chicks taking him to the ring. Dead on the stage still dead. You know, he's a big wrestling guy, right? I know.

Just lost respect. A lot of people are. I have to let Dan know. It's entertainment. Look, some of my favorite people, like this guy loves Impractical Jokers. Yeah.

So, oh, speaking, is, are you into the Anthony Davis show that I keep seeing the promos for? No, I have standards. Okay. I'm into it. You don't want, you don't want sports. I think it's funny. I'm upset they traded him now. It's like, geez, man, this guy would have, what a breath of fresh air.

All this could have had on the show. Could have been with the city needed. Helped us heal. In fact, I'd like him to trade for him back. Yeah. I take flag. Maybe that's item one for Maasai. How do we get the fun?

guy back. Dead and a stay still dead. I'll give you Don Shula. Soroy. Of the Steakhouse. And that's what happened. I guess he's safe, right? Release from Belichick.

Yeah, it would appear he's safe. His win record. Of course, he's too old for Belichick. Now shoddy. Now shoddy. Closing remarks are brought to us by Fair Lease. Navidad.

Fair lease. You don't know what to... Fair lease, when you don't know what to do about a car, because car stuff is hard, but not with Fair lease. You don't need a dealership, baby. That's where our guys at community will get their fleet of vans, trucks, whatever.

They're wrapped with a little Dumbzone logo on it, too. And they got it from Fairlease. At first, they just got two vehicles. and then they said, well, we're going to get a lease from you in the future. We have three other D&M leases that will run out in a couple of years. And they fairly said, well, let's take a look at the paperwork. They bought them out of that. Like their deals are so good that they could buy them out.

So if you would like to talk about your business to lease some vehicles or just for personal use, 972-705-4815, Connor or Nick are your guys. Connor or Nick. And it is fair lease.org. We're here with the great Philip Kingston. So I'm to understand the Musers screwed community mechanical on their leases and you fixed it. If you want to put it like that.

Pretty much. That's how I see it. But you can interpret things, anything you want to. I am paid to be your advocate. That's right. Okay. Okay, we're going to go a little out of order for closing remarks because we have a time thing. I may be running here in a couple of minutes because of a business interview first.

Oh, look at that. Wow. Christmas bag. Christmas sloths. And I have a yay boo for you, unfortunately. We got some. I have these small fish. This is great.

Macral. What? Antchovies. Oh, who doesn't love some spanish. Finnish white anchovies. Patagonia branded. Boy, take that out on the trail. Oh, these are my sardines.

I love these sardines. Wow, crown prince bristling sardines. In extra virgin olive oil. So here's extra virgin. Yeah. Not just regular. She's got a stitch, too. Evo, if you're in a, if you're really into food.

Yeah. Thank you, man. So here's the Yee, boo. The yay is... You have to eat it all right now. That stuff's really good for you. And a couple of years ago, it started to have kind of a new moment. And it became very trendy.

And that's when all the sort of like new dishes wound up in. They're called tinned fish. I've learned. It's a huge thing now. And it's a huge thing. Another listener emailed me like a huge box of tinned fish this weekend. Okay. So yeah, keep them coming, folks.

Are you ready for the boo? Mercury poisoning. Yeah, I'm going to die. I am 53, and everyone else who's into this, is older than 50. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think this is a hip, young thing.

I'm going to prove. I'm going to be going to a couple of colleges over the next couple weeks. Can you imagine if clav on a stream, just walk up to a group of kids? I can't wait until clas. We're tin maxing, bro. If Clave isn't on this, he just doesn't know about it yet. That's the only reason. Get your mark up.

Because the protein. Yeah. So we have illustrious guests with us today. The great Matt Stubbs is the guy who reminded me that this was May the 4th, and therefore we must do Star Wars. If you're driving into Fort Worth on 121 over the next whenever and you see a big sign says Fort Worth, it's like an art installation sign thing on the side of the road that says work. Looks cool. Welcome to Fort Worth. He made the sign?

Hand by hand Oh nice All right Stubbs is a Highly regarded Landscape Architect And if you have Landscaping needs

More than just Having your lawn mode Then I would encourage you To reach out to Matt Stubbs And handed it over to the builder He's not a Mo guy right He's a guy

Right He will Yes He works for a firm That has no vowels in it It's It's D-S-N-G. I can never remember it.

It's very popular. It's design with no bells. A D-L-L-S. Yes. Put the capital letters on a hat. This is what architects do. Holy. Did you guys see the Dallas hat over the weekend that went?

No. Hell yeah. There's a guy in Uptown sitting there, and he's got the upside down. Okay. But the upside down doesn't say Dallas. It doesn't say Fort Worth. It says EBITA. Oh, yes.

like earnings before that is so like your finance but it's upside down and that is great so the great brick le dude had the best line

about the upside down Dallas hat he said it was a police sciop to get all sex offenders to wear the same hat that's great it's great he's a great dude

I don't know maybe background check we have the that's the one we have the great Great Michael Mooney. Michael Mooney is the best writer in Dallas when he's in Dallas. And we love him very much.

Read everything he writes. I love Michael Mooney. And then I noticed like his friends would call him Mike. So then I just assumed I could start doing that. Because I wanted to be like, you know how Robert De Niro? Bobby. Yeah, people call him Bobby that seem cool. And you're like, God, I wish I could call him Bobby.

So I just started calling Mike Mooney like, hey, Mike, what's up? And then he responded, and I think I'm a friend. Guys. Moondog. I think we're friends, but Michael Mooney is the form. That's who you want to search and read. Mooney? Can I go Mooney? He will respond to Just Mooney. Next step.

But yeah, I think I did exactly the same thing, Dan. Yeah. I just arrogated that name for my use. Yeah, like Luis was calling him Mike. And I'm like, hell yeah, I guess I can call him. And then we had T.C. for a moment, but he's working today. and we have the great Austin Breakbill. He's P. Austin Breakbill.

He's another Philip, but he refuses to go by Philip. My father. Cope is his father, he says. Close, close listeners will maybe remember that he's the only person in history to write into the show to list me as his leader. Nice. And you'll never forget.

Honestly, he needs help. That's how you, look, you got him here today. Long play. It's working. Yeah. Number four. Number four. Wow.

He's claiming DF4. Clayton claims he's two. Wow. So he's kind of big dick in that one. You got sub-mogged. Well, I love how much. Are we going to get just a bunch of this on broadcast this year? Absolutely.

We better get a lot of clap. I don't care if it's six months out of the news cycle. I'm going to start sending you one. words. Thank you. I need all the help I can get. Minnesota just punt-maxing out here today at the Big Ten. Thank you, guys.

Keep going. Oh, thank you all for showing up. Only one minor quibble with the show recently. The anchored words must have at least one word that never, not ever, is used with another word other than the one you're trying to match it with. Otherwise, you've just discovered a commonly used phrase. Shut up. I think

sometimes it's just a result of you can't at the moment think of any other usage of force. So get them and vigor. Let me give you one. Good example. Let me give you one with Ted here. The stars are done now, but if you watch the stars, for any

length of time, let me just see if I can test balloon this. Esa Lindelze. there he is referred to as a what does anybody have any idea fin okay or defensive liability no he's great stars watcher so I just I'm up the line you never hear offensive to the corner as the Lindell stalwart on the back end he'll kill it's defensive stalwart interesting yeah and I think that's kind of like fortuitous bounce and that it's only no you're right I've never heard of a a player who's great on offense like God just an offensive stall

Yeah. And I searched it. There's like 20 articles where it just says, S. Lundell, comma, defensive stalwart. Like, we just decided at some point. Hmm. I think that counts. Yeah.

No, because it doesn't count because stalwart is that used in other contexts. But in sports, you would never hear it in another context. True. You would never hear, like, a rebounding stalwart or a goaltending stalwart. It's just for whatever reason you're on. Defense, you're a brick wall. Right. Yeah.

Warrior warding. Yeah. but we'll try to be better about it I'm just laughing at you slightly not much Blake was like putting together whole sentences like four or five words at a time I was sent to me like is this an anchor word

on the great Akash Singh's birthday I don't I rarely fight with Reddit but Reddit is the dumb zone Reddit is so wrong about Akash I really think you have some followers hopefully they are not

subscribers who like just don't like comedy. Is he not popular? That guy has the best crowdwork of anybody, right? They're against Akash? They don't like Akash? Yeah, they're against him. I can't even imagine why.

Racism, maybe? He makes me laugh a lot. I don't know. Okay. No, they're not. I don't see him calling him out for, I mean, I don't really think, I mean, Akash has the bring back a poo thing,

but I think that's actually kind of like more mainstream now, right? Plus, audience, they hate a lot of stuff, but usually it's just like this sucks. It's not like. Isn't it because of the HB1 stuff? Or what is it? No. H1B, but no.

I don't, I think he's from Plano, man. I know. Too many him up there if you ask me. And I'd mentioned this to Blake before, but the episode recently that had me actually laughing out loud in my car was looking back at that Adam Sandler record. Yeah, guys Phillips age. like Sean Cernand hit me up and just like I know every single word to this entire album. Like college was just this.

Every shitty apartment that me or my friends lived in, this was on in the background at all times. And we would all be talking just like Adam Sandler. And it sounded just as smart as I've just described it. It was unbelievable. Okay, we've got other gifts. That one can be for, oh, wait, no, this one is for the great Clayton Kimbrough. Oh, man. not junk food, but I assume you eat other stuff sometimes.

Oh, we got. From the... Pickle? Pickles? The Felissa Cannery. This is for Jake. Oh, preserve. Oh, yeah.

Strawberry preserves for Clayton. And this is for Brooks. Excellent. Pickling it up. So, pickle goods. Maybe it's a dude perfect. Do you all, do you guys see Dude Perfect? Yeah, I did.

They got the suit up for the bananas this weekend. Oh, my God. At Kyle Field? Yeah, weren't you all shocked? Like, no way. Wow. Did you see Tyler Tony hit a home run? Sweet.

No way. No, but he didn't. He struck out. He sucks. He thought he could hit? Did he dance after? He couldn't edit the video. He had to do one take.

Of course he failed. So you guys have all been into the kitchen at this point and seen that it is primarily decorated. with ribbons, which are actual... I'm going to say goodbye. I love you. I love you more. Not that one. Anyway, those ribbons in the kitchen are actual state fair ribbons that Melissa has won

doing this stuff over the years. So hopefully you'll enjoy that. And my only other closing remark is... Oh, well, thank you to Ted Emmerk for a man, dude. Come on the show. Thanks for all the invite. And I didn't even have to pay him. You just agreed?

I don't have a lot going on, Philip. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people are tired of me being on the dumb zone at this point. But anytime you guys ask, I'm there. I'm sorry McCool couldn't make it up. He just started a new job. But his advice to you is still what I agree with. You guys have figured out how to do your own thing.

And so the advice of what to do is what you decide to do. Do more everything. I love it. He's like Splinter over here. Mentor. Philip, you're the best. Thank you guys so much. It's good to see you all.

Adios, Mofo. We've got to go before this becomes a zoo. See you guys for drinks later. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video. Ted Masters updates will never be the same Michael E. Voices so advanced is crazy.

Otherwise known as Teddy Ball Game. Masters updates is insane. Had the voice of a god since you were 12. You make men feel inadequate because you talk so well. You've been compared to Joe Buck as the best in the biz. Oddly enough, both of you are Nepo kids. But honestly, I could care less. That's why Ted Ember.

is the fucking best Ted Michael and Michael kid Gilchrist your voice is so advanced is crazy makes us forget you're a