The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 7-16-25 | The All-Star Game's swing off with Jared Sandler and Sarah Hepola in studio

Episode Date: July 16, 2025

To get every episode of The Dumb Zone, subscribe at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneWe have Grady Spencer and Sarah Hepola in studio today as we discuss Dan running like JD Vance, Brian Schottenheimer's tattoos, our big (Wednesday) viewer mail bag, and Jared Sandler joins to talk about last night's MLB all-star game (00:00) - Open: Dan runs like JD Vance (19:00) - Jared Sandler: The swing off (45:46) - Cowboys: Tracking down Schotty's tattoos (54:24) - Big (Wednesday) Viewer Mail Bag with Sarah Hepola (01:38:52) - News: Peanut butter and cans (02:00:00) - VM birthdays/Today in History (02:24:03) - Closing remarks: Sarah's book writing process ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello! I'm professional broadcaster Dan McDowell, letting you know that you are about to hear one of our free podcasts. But if you'd like to subscribe at DumbZone.com, you'll get four shows per week, plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus sodes like our Business Wednesday interviews. So, if you forgot how to use the 15-second rewind, that's DumbZone.com to subscribe. that's dumbzone.com to subscribe. Now on to today's program. If you think I care, I don't. I'm gonna put DNM leasing up on that summer jam screen. We've heard from multiple people who have gone to Fair Lease and had their leases bought out so that they could get better deals with Fair Lease. You are not stuck with one of those national, faceless leasing companies. Fair Lease is Texas, Texas proud.

They're backed by the credit union of Texas. They're here to make this easy for you. You can get your next vehicle, or excuse me, get rid of your current vehicle, trade in value right there on your phone. You can have them deliver that vehicle right to your doorstep. So, Dan, if there's one thing about Fair Lease,

what is it you know about him? Buy a car wherever you are. It's fair. Good, thank you for your help. I wasn't right? No, you weren't wrong. Wherever you're sitting right now. I'm not wrong.

I was just, he was adding to it and I was just. You could be chewing food and have your buddy throw you a question knowing that you're chewing, like he wants to make you look bad. Fairleaze.org. The proceeding and the following content are brought to you by No Puppet Productions and The Dumb Zone.

Do you know who Joy Taylor is, Sarah? Anya Joy Taylor, the actress? No, Joy Taylor is a TV sports television talk show host. No. Fellow milkshed haver, I would say. People would probably say. What? You're not aware that people have named your boobs?

What? Oh, yeah. She's got to know about this. What is happening? There's been a clear shift in the Les Sarah Heppala. Oh, my god. There's now a, uh in the less Sarah HEPPOLA. Oh my god There's now a how did this happen? There's a lot of Pro Sarah HEPPOLA. She makes some really good points. I don't think I should be able to play girls sports either. It's insane

I don't think of it as making you look bad. I think of you as one of those F1 drivers who has like crazy reflexes and I'm just tossing balls at you. I thought it was just because you want people to relate. This is just people are hanging out right now. You can lease a car with a mouthful of sandwich. Welcome to the Dumb Zone everybody I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jake Kemp. I'm Blake Jones. It's Wednesday, so generally we do not do a program on Wednesday. That is a day for business. That better be a tweet.

About what? Indicating that we're off live streaming. We're broadcasting live to tape today from the cozy confines of our downtown Dallas Game Day Men's Health studio. Now we can't give you the TRT treatments here, but you can go to a Game Day Men's Health in DFW near near you. Like look it up on your phone. Don't ask me to tell you everything about it. But mention the dumb zone when you when you hook up with them.

But you can actually special income show us that it works. What TRT? Yeah. Just show us your heart. We're getting it tomorrow. Yeah. Station 222. Well, yeah, what can we call it? Getting it tomorrow. Yeah Station 2 2 Yeah, what can we call it We'll come up with something clever clever Or rate your rock only forget about it rocked up rankings here at studio 222 whip it out

Yeah for charity. It's not all about the wiener guys Like why is everybody's come on? I winner? I was just simply yesing. How about feeling better? How about low energy? Definitely. You feel better because you're just bricked up, dude. He's not wrong. It kind of does come back.

You don't want to run out of energy. What use are having muscles if you have a limpy? Let me ask you, which would you rather have? Like, are you rather the guy from the Big Johnson shirts? Did that make its way to the Midwest or is that a southern thing? No, I know what that is. That guy?

Yeah, I don't know. Or like, okay. I just know you get 10% off TRT for life. But can I just? But it's not all about your wiener. That's their slogan at Game Day Men's South. There's more to a man than his wiener. You guys are so objectifying with all sexes

and I'm not gonna take it anymore. It's wiener size and how far you can drive a golf ball and game day can help with both. Damn. They should help me with, my stamina's terrible right now. I'm sweating. We ordered pot belly. We're downtown Dallas.

And there's a pot belly across the street, kind of. It's across the street and across the big parking lot, and you go in that big building. But then, now they've closed off four of the entrances, and they make you walk around the whole building. With no real reason. There's no reason to close those doors, folks. I have no thoughts on whether there's a reason. I just want to make it clear he did know that. This has happened a couple times already, right? So I get around the building. Now they make you sign in.

I'm like, oh, I'm just going to pot belly. Yeah, you got to sign in. No. Dude, next, make you take a vaccine? That's right. So now I signed in, then I get down there. Of course, the order's not ready. So then, so now I'm looking at,

it took me eight minutes to walk there. And it's 23 after. So now I embark on a half, I got a bad foot. I'm old, right? So I got stuff all over the place. This is why I need game day men's health. And I'm running, but the way I would describe my run is JD Vance.

Have you seen that video and everybody's making fun of it? But now I'm like, there's my guy. Yeah, I will tell you. I understand JD, I'm sorry for all these people being mean to you. Maybe you got a bad foot. There's something going on with the ball of your foot. Well, I tell you what it was,

what goofy runner or not, it was a dad run. You could tell that he started. He's kind of like, is it? He's like, very erect. Yeah, and he's freaking out. It was kind of fast walking. But even if there weren't any kids involved, when that popped up in my group chat,

I said, I'm heading to the bench. I don't participate in this. I'm not making fun of the way anybody runs. But I made such good time, distance, over the first three minutes that I had to walk the rest of the way. You 90-10'd it, that's fine. Yeah, I 90-10'd it.

You did a high-intensity interval. What's with this foot? We're gonna have to put you down or what? Look, let's just be glad it's just, that's what I, the way I think of it is- I like it. Oh, my foot's bad? Okay, I can deal with that.

That's better than like a heart or a, all right. You've been grounding too hard. It may have, maybe the grounding is just an electro-on the base. Those electrons are frying your bones. Or it'll fix it. That's definitely what they tell you. Anyway, we have a sit-in today in studio.

It is the great Grady Spencer. He is from Grady Spencer and The Work. Hello, fellas. He's the Grady Spencer. He is from Grady Spencer and The Work. Hello, fellas. He's the Grady Spencer. You may know him from the DZGSE. Yep. He said you don't have to mention The Work today. Yeah, they're off.

The Work is off. Lest they be paid. That's it. You may also remember him as the first guy to pay money to have the roast twins listen to his material and then just give their honest assessment. It's a great investment.

Small business owner, great investment. I probably should have asked you this off the air because if the answer's negative, just lie. Have you actually seen any sort of uptick in anything since the roast wins? Yeah, yeah dude, for sure. I mean, that day, that day, you can go see like daily streams on that song, and yeah,

we had a definite uptick in that song, and then, yeah, the D.F.'s being on their radar has been super helpful, and yeah, it's been incredible. Clayton hit me up this weekend, and he was like, I never really knew this this this music is great. I was like yes they have a lot of it. Thanks. Out there. I think we're gonna drop that into today's break if you're watching live on YouTube so if you like the YouTube stream and you love to get the fast food tips from Clayton I don't believe that's going to come your

way today. Ah man. Nah, Jake scooped me on all the Braum stuff, so. The Mexican flavors? Yeah, you took my whole segment. I'm telling you man, hit it up. Incredibly affordable. Yeah, it's the right move, it's what I've been saying the Cowboys should do forever, right?

Braum knows, Braum knows who's in there. I know, I go a lot. Hook it up. The Cowboys should 100% play at least one home game a year with a green stripe and a red stripe on their helmet. It would be awesome. Play nothing but Spanish language music during the games. Be correct.

If only they'd listen to your marketing ideas, they could be big, the Cowboys. No, but they could win. But I'm saying- That's gonna help you win? I think having a better home environment, certainly, from game to game. They may have, there's another, a number of reasons, but you look across their division.

I mean, if I had to pick, I'd rather play in Dallas. And I'm fucking sticking to that. Yeah, yeah. Like, jeez, I don't know. I wanna play you a couple- I like to play where I could see and be that. Yeah, yeah. Gee, I don't know. I want to play you a couple of- I like to play where I could see and be seen, but go ahead. Couple of pieces of audio,

just to let people know after the break today, we do have Sarah Heppler coming in. We didn't really address where we're gonna put viewer mail. Where's Jared Sandler? What time? In seven minutes. Oh. Yes.

So we can make that decision- You guys not gonna tell me? I just have a lot of viewer mail that I think might work well with Sarah. But real quick here, a couple quick hits for you. We haven't really talked about the flood situation and we're gonna keep it that way, but I was listening to some explainer,

here's what happened when and how it happened, and they had some clips from the news conferences that were taking place. So these are just local officials, Kerrville, Kerr County. They're not used to being, they didn't know this was gonna end up on a national podcast, right?

But I think this guy would take this back if he could. The sheriff said he was alerted hours after the storm began. The city manager was also unaware and was in fact out for a jog around the time the flooding began to intensify. I was running the river trail at 3 a.m. this morning because I'm that guy. Don't need it. 3 a.m.? Yeah, it's up for a more, yeah.

Because I'm that guy. Don't need that guy. We are in a very serious situation. I think you think that sounds self-deprecating. Like, yeah, that weirdo who's up at 3 AM running the river trail. It doesn't. While it's raining?

Well, it started raining then, if you recall. Like, he's saying even, the reason this is important context in the story is he's saying, I was running on the river at 3, it didn't look bad. But the point is, he could have just said that. Instead, he didn't. Around the time the flooding began to intensify. I was running the river trail at three in this morning

just because of that guy. Oh, that guy. You know, bro. Wish that guy would have done a little more with that water. Speaking of water, this is from the QB show. And Joe Burrow's an interesting guy because you see his living room, he's as Ohio as it gets,

there's wood paneling on the walls, like plastic on his couch. Like I feel like he is middle America. But he also dresses crazy and like buys $10,000 shirts that all of his Rust Belt buddies make fun of him for. So I couldn't see Dan doing that. He also has influencers watching his house while he plays. Yeah, and by influencers he gets to pipe this chick

to make sure that his house doesn't get broken into again. Yeah. I could see Dan doing that, but this Joe Burrow moment right here just really said McDowell to again. I could see Dan doing that, but this Joe Burrow moment right here just really said McDowell to me. Not really. I don't like boats like that. If you go on a boat, you're committed. You're there for hours. I like a boat for 45 minutes, but then after 45 minutes, I'm like, okay, I've seen it all we're on the water

Like I get it Dude, the funny thing is I watched that episode and I thought that's more Blake. Oh really? I just like I've been on trips with you at least one we were like we got a boat like we're gonna go out and Dan's Like yeah, I'll be here when you get back When there's an eclipse like what is it the Sun you can't see it for a second. Okay? Yeah, and like you don't like the water right being on the wall You're gonna be gone all day. This guy left town when there's an eclipse. Like what, is it the sun? You can't see it for a second? Okay. Yeah. And like the people, what do you not get about being on the water?

You're on the water. Like the, it doesn't run out. I don't like- The relaxing part of it doesn't run out. But I don't like being somewhere that I can't leave. Yeah. You don't like the implication. Yeah, like if I'm going somewhere,

like watching California, if I'm not driving. Oh, I'm very similar. I'm very California. If I'm not driving. Oh, I'm very similar. I'm very similar. Like I wanna be driving. Well, for me, it was always like the Uber, or I will just pass out here while no one knows. Then I'll wake up tomorrow and we'll figure it out. So anyway.

It would be hard to prank you at the Barry Switzer's house these days. Yeah, I don't know. There's probably, I'm looking for new stuff. It's really just one off the table, but yeah, probably not falling through a trophy case off early bird. Do you wanna even, before Jared gets here,

touch on the possibility of Lebron to the Mavs or no? Yeah, I saw it on the run sheet. He did the interview, the interview came out this morning. Oh, he did, who? LeBron. What did he say? I'm playing for the Lakers this year. I'm not looking for a buyout, I'm not looking for a trade.

I didn't read the entire article, it dropped 10, something like that, it was more whatever, an athletic big piece. It went how these stories go, which is we all, not really us, because we'll just review the poop crews, but there's a machine that needs fuel. I'm fueling it. But it's not just you, it's your job.

I'm interested, yeah. LeBron fuels it. Sure, yeah, no, the whole thing is when he opted into his $50 million contract, Rich Paul releases a statement that it's not from LeBron. But he just said, he emphasized LeBron's aim to contend for a championship while acknowledging the Lakers' efforts to build for the future.

But he said, LeBron prioritizes a realistic chance of winning it all and will assess the Lakers' offseason moves to see if they are building a contending team. I would have to say any team that has Luca, number one, you're now, you're just in the mix. You're considered a contending team. If you can put something, that's the baffling, again. Don't do it. Don't do it. But the baffling thing about the whole trade is

we're almost perfect here, and then you said, because in the long run, you might end up saying, okay, well, there's still gonna be a pretty good team. You've added Anthony. Sure. But you've, you took away the guy that any team can build around. You can't just get Anthony Davis and boy, I'm guaranteed

I could be in a championship in a few years. You have to really be specific on the players, but. By the way, we're going through a Luca the movie phase right now, you know how the kid gets a movie, watches nothing but that for a month? That's not helping my mental state. What is that movie? It's a movie called Luca.

It's just called Luca. It's a Disney movie, a little kid movie, and it's just Luca, Luca, Luca, I want Luca, I want Luca, put on Luca. Well, what if it was called Nico? Would that make you feel worse? Boy, I knew there was a guy who emailed us who named his kids Nicholas and Luca.

Oh. But yeah, if you got Luca, you're in the mix. And now I think too, LeBron at the age of 40 is still really, really good. What was he second team all NBA? Second or third like he's you know he's good. He's among the top 20 players in the NBA no doubt. Yeah. You got Deandre Ayton I know he's had problems. No they're fine. They're it's a good team. They're not, they're fine. It's a good team for LeBron to be on. They're not going to beat Oklahoma City, I don't think.

But the thing about Luca is you might. And injuries happen. You never know. You never know. That guy can just take over a series. That is something I don't know that LeBron can do that anymore. Anthony Davis never really could.

Like I'm taking this series and I'm going to carry the team on my back. Like Luca can and. He's not here. I wonder, so this is the year Like, I'm taking this series and I'm going to carry the team on my back. Like, Luca can and... He's not here. I wonder, uh, so this is the year that Luca could sign an extension with the Lakers. Not this summer, right? Next year? My high?

Uh, it would be... he would have to wait. No, he could do it now. He could do it now and then next year he'll be unrestricted. Hmm. It's interesting. Yeah, I mean, that's the Lakers are just going to get better. Somebody else will gift them something. I mean, Nico wasn't the first in line or the first in history

to make things easier on the Lakers. He just took it to a new level. No, and even, you know, LeBron was gifted to them in a way when he decided to go there because imagine where they'd be without him having done that. Anthony Davis forced his way there I mean this is not you know it's not uncommon. They'll figure it out. What do we know? No go? Well I'm gonna start talking baseball. There's no way I was watching. That's just what you do. The All-Star Game Live, I was kind of following it

on social media, but then when it was time for the swing-off, I meant, didn't know it existed. Describe the swing-off. Not only did I not know it existed, many of the players involved didn't know it existed. So the National League, I believe it squandered a six-nothing lead, and we were tied after nine. Well, rather than go with a zombie runner, a ghost runner, we're just going to have an old-fashioned swing-off.

What's a swing? For the first time ever. Is it like a home run derby? We are going to select three hitters from each side, which they made drama out of. Like they brought Dave Roberts and Boone out there. Can they have played in the game in the first inning and have been pulled? Yes.

OK. I think it could be anybody, right? Anybody. I don't think so. Anybody who wasn't on a plane? It wasn't anybody. Weren't there a lot of guys that left mid-game? Yeah.

Jared might know this better. OK, here we go. We have Jared now? Yeah. OK, Jared Sandler joins us for his weekly visit. And we also have a sponsor for you today. Now's the time. We have a sponsor for the Jared Sandler segment.

And Grady Spencer. What's up, Jared? From Grady Spencer and the Work. He is a, not comedian friend of ours, musician, magician friend of ours. That's right. And he bought a new garage door from Trident. And I believe he sang today's, what did you sing? Do you want to lay it out or do we just go?

I'm about to sing my brother. I'm about to do it live. About to sing what? Yeah, the ad, the spot. Okay, you ready? Brady sent us his receipt and I said sing it. Oh, sing his receipt. Okay, here you go.

Trident Access Services, baby. I got a story for you. Let me tell it to you right now. Trident Access Services, I had garage door bad But after just one email wrote, could I call your dad? Had a brand new door put in just a single day Tried an access services, holy crap hooray door was sad and sucky flaccid at its best Jeremy and the fella said just put your fear to rest if you need some help like me just call the boys today Trident Services. Holy crap hooray. Yeah. The website is txtrident.com. Hit up

Jeremy at 817-512-1212. And we learned through Grady that if you're a listener, you get 10% off or at least he did. It's true. So I met him at the GSE. I was hanging out with my little sad merch table that Dan publicly made fun of. No way. And I had a really crappy garage door and I was like, hey, you seem to know about this. What should I do? And he gave me some advice.

I tried it, it didn't work. And then, so I just bought a new one from him. It was very, very easy. Look at that Jared, everybody wins. Love it. Where does the day find you? That was great. I am currently in my office at the real estate place.

Okay. Actually, yeah, I need to update the calendar, but I don't decorate a ton. It's still on June. We do have a dumb zone calendar with a Corey Seeger jersey. I'll take it. Well, you sound very echoey. So just to let you know Should I I don't know what you got wired can we go somewhere else? No, I don't have wired

No, let's talk baseball man. Let's talk all-star game. You were probably locked in Didn't watch a single second Why you protesting E of Aldi? By the way, how does he not make how does he have already not make the All-Star team when what's his name was the guy he had to pull out? That would be the most logical to go on. Yeah, the ground. Yeah. OK, so I do have some beef on this.

I'm going to go to a conference room. Apparently, there's better. I got to go here. We got conference rooms in this place. You will actually sit in this place. Yeah. Anything for Dan. What is it still echoing now? Then no complaint about it later.

Yep. So here's the deal. I think with a Volody, one of the reasons he wasn't, first of all, he should have been an all star right from the jump. But one of the reasons he wasn't asked was because he was always on track to pitch Sunday and thus why would you add him as a replacement when he wasn't going to pitch anyway? But to me, that's silly because 10 years from now, I have never ever once talked about a player and been like, man, like, and in his all-star game career, he went three innings of scoreless baseball over three sets.

No one has ever cited anyone's all-star game stats, unless it's like one specific one-off special occurrence. We always say, well, three time all-star, four time. Yeah, sure. But what was Hank Blaylock's line in that game? I'm kidding. I know what you mean. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I know. But like, but we say like three time all-star, four time all-stars, six time all-star, whatever. And so, to me it seems so backwards that like, if you think the guy's deserving of being an all-star, make him a bloody effing all-star. To be able to put it on his resume, he said I was an all-star, so they could have had

51 instead of 50. How many did they have last night? They had like a ton of players. Yeah, that's the thing. They added Clayton Kershaw and Jacob Mizorowski at five starts. Well, you want to know something? Nathan Ivaldi's ERA was about a half run better than anyone else's in Major League Baseball. And just because he was a few innings short of being a qualifier, maybe he's not getting the same consideration. I got an issue with like the

standards for being a qualifier as a pitcher these days. That's a separate conversation. But yeah, it just made no sense to me. It wasn't like he was, had like fringe numbers. Like he has unequivocally been one of the three to five best pitchers in all of baseball this year, not just the American league, uh, and he threw over 90 innings, you know, it's not like he's made five starts and it just, yeah, because he wasn't going to pitch. I don't think he should be stripped of that honor that would stay with him in perpetuity.

Yeah. And some guys I gather probably still have incentives based on, on all star games. I mean, I know this has always been the thing in the NBA that's touchy touchy is. There's so much money involved in all NBA and all defense. And they know that the people that they're having to get interviewed by every day vote on it. So when Klay Thompson loses $115 million

because he missed by three votes, and that brings up a good question though, the game has changed a lot. How much have they revised the plate appearances or innings to qualify? Not at all? Not since the 50s. That's insane. or innings to qualify, not at all? Not since the 50s.

That's insane. Like Nolan Ryan qualifying is the same as Mizorowski? That's weird. And now Mizorowski's, yeah, Mizorowski obviously is not a qualifier. Okay, so you're just anybody who goes five and a third or five and two thirds on average now, that's, yeah. Yeah, so the inning, so to be a qualifier is a hitter,

it's like 3.1 played appearances per team game. I think you basically have to have like 503 played appearances at the end of the season to be a qualifier is a starting pitcher. It's one inning per team game played. So if your team's played 90 games, you, you have to have had log 90 innings. Uh, so you could be a qualifier one day and then not a qualifier the next day and then get it back, you know, that's that's Jake. Like I had no idea how that worked. Now that they have a rolling. Okay. Yeah. No, no, that's, that's, that's to be eligible for like the league

leaders when you look at stats, right? Now that's why you see people like someone gave me a hard time yesterday. Well, you're just cherry picking like a minimum, I did minimum 90 innings and yeah, I guess that's not wrong. I did cherry pick an innings limit that he was a part of, but it's not like, you know, I'm taking some ridiculously low number. The problem is the qualifying standards were set in the fifties since 1962, which is when they went to a 162 game schedule from 62 to 2011, for the most part, the starting pitcher averaged over about six and a third innings per start. There were a few years where it dropped below six and then obviously in the front end, some years where it was above six. But since 2012,

starting pitchers are averaging five and a third innings per start. That's crazy. A full inning less. Like if that, it's not even- That's such a large change in the way the game is played. Like think of something analogous in another sport, but that is, the fact they haven't changed the minimums by what is, you're reducing it by 15%. Yeah, and so the problem is too, it'd be one thing if it was these guys' fault,

but it's not. They are, like decision-makers are strategically funneling things in a different direction. They are encouraging guys to put their foot fully on the pedal and only go five innings or the teams are building rosters not with guys who are going to give you six to seven innings, but rather bullpens that can cover four to five innings per game. So it's not like it's even their fault. And with Avaldi, that's not the case. He just happened to miss like three or four starts. What'd you, okay, so you didn't watch any of the game.

Have you? Well, you stopped in the middle of telling us. I know. What is the hitting thing? And that's why I was gonna ask if he wanted to do it. So you haven't seen the swing off? Or have you like gone back? No, no, that's all I watch.

No, no, I was watching a show and then I saw I was going to a swing off and that's the only part I watched. Similar experience. So Dan, they announced the, the two managers announced that there's going to be three hitters on each side. Do you know about the qualifications there? Was it simply be on site?

Cause I know there were guys who had hit before. Okay. Yeah. I was told that the managers before the game identified the players. Cause here's the thing with the all-Star game to tell a dirty little secret. A lot of the players, when they're done, they leave. Like they, they, by the time the game, when that swing off was going off, I bet there were more than a handful of players who were on a plane back to

wherever they were going. I feel that. So the swing off, the swing off players were predetermined. And I think the reason why there was a confusion about, uh, I guess there was confusion whether a Eugenio Suarez was going to do it. Um, but instead they had someone else in the national league. I forget who it was, but that's because Suarez was one of the predetermined players, but for whatever reason he wasn't available to do it. So yeah, I think that was the eligibility was basically anyone, but it was determined before the game.

Yeah, cause there was at least one guy who was like, I just found out this exists. Like I don't know what this is and they're interviewing him. And so you, you select three hitters from each side and you get three swings each. So you're going to go just in a normal shootout penalty kicks style and a home run derby? Yeah.

Okay. Three swings each. So who throws? Your own bullpen. Like you get a, it's a coach, right? Okay. It's not like my dad. Yeah, you can pick whoever.

Some of the guys have their dad throw it at him. Oh yeah, yeah. In a home run derby or something. And there was all that. Like last night we had some brothers, we had, or two nights ago, we had some brothers, some dads, some youth coaches. But I felt like the guy who's throwing that

is under a lot of pressure, because you are trying to really place it perfectly there, and now you're on a real limit. But I gotta say, dude, it was super exciting. Like, I was locked in. The first dude up, do you have any relationship with Rooker at all? Like do you talk to him much or anything? Cause I don't know, he's like, go ahead.

Yeah, I wouldn't say I've interviewed him a couple times and one of the times I sat and talked to him afterwards for like five minutes, that's the extent of it. Okay, Brent Rooker of the A's is good friends and friends of the show of our buddies down in Austin. Washed, like he's on their podcast all the time and has been throughout the minor leagues and now all of a sudden, you know,

he's blowing up a little bit. So he leads off Dan with two home runs. What's their connection? I don't even know. So you see guys? No, they're just like, they're the same size as us, but national. Yeah, I know.

I mean, they just are, they have guys who listen, who grow up in Tennessee and whatever. No connection to Texas at all, to my knowledge. But anyways, so he hits two out, and the pressure's on, and there were just some really dramatic moments. Like the American League rallied, and it was tied after two, I think. But in the final frame, the American League hitter

needed one more. I think they had already hit one and they needed one more to tie it and force extras and they hit the top of the wall. Like bounced off the top of the wall back in. Oh, it's getting national, National League's going crazy. It was wild. Like you're actually interested in the home run derby as a pressure filled situation.

And what Kyle Schwaber did when they were down, I think they were down, he got up there and hit two back to back, the second one of which was off of his knee. Again, invalidating my point that all the fat power hitters are right handed because he's a lefty. But it was awesome, dude, it was just exciting. The players were going nuts.

So would you advocate, this is an exhibition? 100% not. That's a terrible idea. What, during the season? That is so dumb. That is not the same as a shootout. A shootout to me is a play, that is a play that could naturally occur,

closely occur in a hockey game, almost. Like you could get a breakaway. Well, the goalie's trying to stop you. The basic thing in baseball, there's nobody. Exactly. You're just serving one. And also, right, the shootout came to be because we wanted to get rid of the tie. So that's why it went from five minutes of five on five, because you can't have just an end. You can't have playoff rules in the regular season. You don't need guys getting worn their ass down for a regular season overtime game. So we got rid of the five on five and four on four and now three on three, but still don't want the ties. So

how are we going to fix that? We'll do a shootout, right? They, they clearly made rules to try and avoid shootouts as much as possible. But in baseball, we've already done that. Our equivalent of the shootout is the runner at second, right? There are very few games that go beyond, I think it's 11 innings. Like the Rangers had an opening game. Yeah. Yeah. The Rangers have to lead the league in ghost runners allowed home. I swear to God over like a month stretch.

It's just, yeah. Yeah. But it does end quick. It ends quick. And you go into extras, Dan, knowing like, all right, how many times like in your baseball career were you like, as soon as we get to extras, I'm out. I'm not gonna be a part of this.

My career watching baseball? Well, just like as an adult maybe. Like. Yeah, yeah, for sure. No, it's a lot. You go into it now in extras thinking somebody's about to score. Yeah, yeah. It's a lot. You go into it now in extras thinking somebody's about to score. Yeah, yeah.

It's gonna happen. Hey, let's pause to do a quiz today. And the quiz, we're gonna do trivia, right? Give away some tickets. What if we say this is brought to us by our friends at Community Mechanical? Community Mechanical is our HVAC company. You ever heard of them, Jared? I've heard of them. The Community Mechanical song that HVAC company. You ever heard of them, Jared?

I've heard of them. The Community Mechanical song that I'm trying to write in my head is just to simply, community mechanical. Yeah. Can't get there, though. Good enunciation. 469-667-7290, is your house hot? Do you want it to be cold?

You hear an explosion come from your unit? In extreme cases, like Blake's? Yes, that can happen. At community. Hold on, I got to find the run sheet, because I got a really good email. Look at today's run sheet, and look at the community mechanical email we just got.

From Frank, I've had another company come out multiple times as they installed the system. Originally, my dehumidifier was grounding out my entire breaker, which, what's worse. And the other company told me they could not repair the unit, would have to replace the unit for 5K. Community Mechanical came out, changed the fuses for 75 bucks, did a full inspection of the unit to ensure it was working properly and up to safety standards. They will be my first call from now on. Dude, how many stories do we got to hear like that? Countless. Brandon Aubrey. Call them up after somebody tried to sell him a $15,000 unit. They fixed

it for a hundred bucks. 469-667-7290. You can call or text. They're out for justice. Community Mechanical. And now here's Jared with today's trivia question, which can be answered in the chat on our live stream on YouTube. So there are six players who would be the correct answer. I'm asking you to get five. And it's very simple. Six players in Major League history have had a 40-40 season. Can you name five of the six? I I mean unless you guys think that's too easy and they need to name all let's go I was trying to appreciate you trying to make it a little easier and I was pretty straightforward right yeah yeah yeah

okay don't let me be in your head stop trying to get there there but hey I do want to give a quick shout out can I give a quick shout out to listener Derek? works at a title company had a Stop by there for some business earlier today and got to meet him. So shout out Derek. Look at you This guy never stopped. He's a huge listener. He's a huge listener. I'm just saying you never stop working dude And he's still got time for the people I'm just saying you never stop working dude, and he's still got time for the people And I love can I share the question real quick, you know what you can okay, thanks, what's up Jared? It's great here What's up? Yeah, dude on your I love your Instagram content by the way and the the thanks to their stories with your

Trivia my question is how do you choose your photos that you put all your text over because it's like very different content? I'm like, I wonder what he's thinking about right now. Yeah, sometimes it's very random. I now have, my wife has caught on to the fact that I like to put pictures of my dog because my dog's my best friend, but like sometimes I'll just wherever I am or I'll randomly scroll on my photos collection to something like five or six years ago. I try very rarely to have a picture that involves me unless it's me in like a self deprecating kind of scene or setting. Like there was one

of me when I was like five years old looking like a dipshit. So like I was happy to put that on. But yeah, I am open. I've actually had a few people send me pictures now. Like, hey, like can you use this for a trivia background picture? Which is kind of funny. Wow. Wow.

Yeah. How do you feel about that? I feel great. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'm glad that I'm not the only one noticing, but it's fire content as the kids say. I appreciate it. Yeah. Thanks, man. Do you think glad that I'm not the only one noticing, but it's fire content, as the kids say. I appreciate it. Thanks, man.

Do you think the Rangers are gonna make the playoffs? Didn't you guarantee that at the beginning of the year? Have you looked at the- Tell us how the Astros- It's possible. Have you looked at any of the Zip stuff or anything, like as of today, or any of the projections? Right now, they are projected in most sites, 81 and 81.

Yeah, I- Which feels almost perfect- almost solid for the year that I've watched. I, it won't be a smooth 500. It'll be an insane roller coaster 500. So here's the difference to me. I was talking to someone about this last year versus this year, because last year they were in a position around the deadline, they had just swept the white socks, are they going to buy? They're going to sell.

You're feeling good about sweeping the worst team in major league history. And it just seemed kind of fool's gold. Last year's team was just a very unimpressive group in terms of their performance. At no point did you like have a lot of confidence. Yeah. They're really turning things around. This year's team has a different feel. First of all, for the last month and a half now, they've had like the second best offense in baseball. You've got to Grom and a Volody. Healthy. I mean, it's really, it's the healthiest they've been in their offense has actually been serviceable.

And I know that some people might roll their eyes to this and maybe that ends up being the most appropriate reaction, but jock Peterson's coming back. And I understand that when he, when he was hurt. Get him out of here. Well, I understand when he was hurt, he was not very good, but like he is still the same guy who was one of the best hitters in Maitchley baseball last year against right-handed pitching.

And so I think you got to at least leave open the possibility that this has just been a very necessary reset and maybe he does contribute. The problem is, and we've talked about this, the money. What are the Rangers going to do at the deadline if there is a limit to how much money they can take on? And so I think that's going to create some interesting challenges for Chris Young and Ross Fenstermaker to figure out how to add, and maybe they have to buy and sell, right? Maybe they've got to give, maybe they got to trade away a contract that could, of a player

who could help, but it creates some space so they can fill more direct needs. Are they going to make the playoffs? I still am going to say yes with the three wild card setup. I also do, I'm not saying the Rangers are going to win the division. I did say this a week ago after the Astros swept the Dodgers. I just kind of had one of these like, you've got to be kidding me. Like how that what is going on? They're not that good. They are good. The Astros are better than I thought they were. I will raise my right hand and say, Hey, so far right now, egg on my face. I'm the guy who said that they would go 80 and 82. Clearly I'm an idiot But what is also true is that I don't think they are a 20 games over 500 team

I think they are closer to like an 86 to 87 win team Which means they are going to have a bit of a downturn they already have they've lost five of their last six And so it creates an opportunity for the Mariners and the Rangers, perhaps, to get back into the division. I think that is going to happen. I really do believe that. Do we have answers? We do. For our trivia question, which was. Oh, who are the six players who have had a 40-40 season?

Name five. Was Kinseko the first? Kinseko was the first in 1988. A-Rod? Did A-Rod do it? A-Rod in 98? Am I supposed to confirm answers yet? Yeah.

Acuna? Yeah. I only know A-Rod because of rap songs. Acuna? I didn't know that. Acuna? Acuna in 2023? Did Matt Kemp ever do it? 4070 season. No way.

Matt Kemp. No, he got close. He got very close. Never did it. All right, we got three. DeLucci'd steal a base on you. David DeLucci. David DeLucci is not correct. All right. Matt Kemp is in a group of

players who he had he ended one away. He had 39 home runs. Oh, and I remember he was like he had like a week to try to get 40 or maybe a few days and he couldn't get to 40. What about McCutcheon? McCutcheon never got there now. All right. What do you got? So Alfonso Soriano also was one home run away, but then a few years later got there

You said can say go a ride Soriano Otani last year. Oh, yeah You know the one who went 50-50 Yeah, and Barry Bonds Barry Bonds did it in 96. Oh he did he still yeah that roided up, huh? Yeah You still, that roided up, huh? Yeah. Was 96 points? Bonskin scoot. 96 wasn't right, was it? No, well. When I think of SkinnyBerryBonds,

I think of 1989 to 92, is that way wrong? He was already big at, he was still small in 95, 96 or smallish? So it was not, 96 was not, I think if you looked at 2001 versus 96, you would notice a difference, but I believe he had started at that point, but I could be wrong. Okay. Yeah. But there you go. Well, one lucky listener, I guess viewer on this day is going to a

Rangers game of their choice, or maybe it's Jared's choice. I don't really know. You're going to go to a Rangers game of their choice or maybe it's Jared's choice. I don't really know. You're going to go to a Rangers mutual or potential, uh, one lucky listener buys a house from him. That could also happen. I mean, that's, I'm not a realtor. That's not at all what I do, but I appreciate you mentioning that, uh, something that's investing. You can invest with. Yeah. Yeah. Can I ask Jared one more question? Yes. You actually put- Jesus Christ.

Is Jock Peterson, is he still doing the grounding? I remember watching a YouTube, like behind the scenes. Now, Dan's in. He was a big grounding guy back in San Francisco. Is he still doing that? Maybe that's the problem. So, he- Seems grounded after short.

He walks around. Oh yeah, bro. Sports jokes. I don't know. I don't know if he is grounded. If I laugh at that, you'd have yelled at me. I will see him. I will see him walk around the outfield. Sometimes that shoes on that kind of goes in that direction, right? Yeah.

I mean, I remember in that YouTube, he was definitely talking about grounding. Oh, I'm looking at it right now. This is a long article about all the stuff. Regulate your breathing. Be able to work your way through your uncomfortable feelings. There we go. Barefoot walks with mental skills coach. That's maybe why,

cause I've been feeling great lately, Jared. I am so happy. I'm happy that you're on the show today. I'm pleased that you join us every week. I'm proud to be a friend of yours. How do you hang up on him? And I wish you well in your future endeavors. I love Jake and Blake too, and to a lesser extent Clayton.

So anyway, everything's great. Go Rangers, it's gonna be a great second half. I'm looking forward to a big second half, bro. Let's go, let's bring this thing home. Hey, hold on one quick thing. damn it. All right, go ahead. Go ahead. See you, Jay. Oh! See you, guys. Are you just doing that on purpose? Oh, buddy.

I mean, how do you match the salaries? Like, who do you give up on the Mavs to get LeBron here? Shut it. Is the case. You shut it. Because that was a big talk, right? I wrote an article about it. You did? And listen, was there any way, actually, to?

I mean, some people thought it would get bad enough they'd buy him out, but they're not going to do that. Oh, yeah. But I don't think, again, I don't think it's the media or the fans or the public's fault. Like he walks around peacocking and then people are like, what's going on over there? Oh, he loves it.

So yeah, we're gonna write articles on what if LeBron leaves when he puts out a statement that's like, I'm watching you, after they traded for Luca. It's like easily the most help he's ever been given at any point in his career. Then they opt into his deal and say like, you're on the clock. I'm like, you're on the clock with the grim reaper.

You don't like decide what happens anymore here. Well, it's the first time. It's people talking. Ever that he's not the focal point of his team. Yeah. And Luke is. So all the, I'm really excited to play with Luca. Yar.

Yeah. But, you know. Let's see what else do we have on the list here because we didn't really talk viewer mail. Wanna dive into a couple? Why not? Before we why not before we get to oh one real quick one here It's kind of sportsy We're investigating the shoddy tattoos Okay

Right now as we heard yesterday We heard him say that he has a tattoo on his hand that says grit. I'll play you that tattoo on his hand that says grit. I'll play you that here. It's a little toughness aspect kind of in a hierarchy of intangible. It's big because there's going to be tough times. There's going to be low moments in the season. There's going to be low moments in your career.

There's going to be low moments outside of football with your family. And I think that that's something we talk about. Maybe the fact that gritits tattooed on my hand has something to do with that we look at that. But I think just when you go through. Were you also jogging by the river at 3 in the morning? Like that's along the line.

Oh, very much so. You didn't need to throw that in there. That didn't have anything to do with the answer to the question you were asked. Not at all. Clayton, my bad. I just put a photo in there if you could bring it up. If not, it's okay.

But I looked through some photos. Tattooed on your hand, of course, first thought from Blake, because he's got prison. Wouldn't we ever have heard? He just got his digits right there. Like, you've read some shoddy stuff from Seattle the only other time that anybody kinda cared about him, but there was none of that in there.

There was not. Now, I did find a video where one of his tattoos I found, brace yourself Cowboys fans, on his forearm in cursive, like it's on a throw pillow, live, laugh, love style, he has got faith family football, in lowercase bachelorette party cursive on his forearm. So that's not even the tattoo in question. We know the man has a rubber ring

that's unavoidable at this point. I was gonna say both of those. That's replacement level. Brandon has a rubber ring. Cool guys in sports have rubber rings. Sure, but the tattoo that looks like- Faith family football. This looks like it belongs on the wall

of the lake house of a coach's wife. Like a high school football coach's wife puts that on their wall of the lake house of a coach's wife. Like a high school football coach's wife puts that on their wall at the lake property. And that's not even the tattoo in question, folks. This is at every new high school football stadium because they, you know, it took $50 million to build. They have some random interior designer that doesn't know anything about football,

so she just picks football stuff, amenities, and pictures to put in the bathroom. This is there. You know where this started. And this guy gets tattooed. You know exactly where this started. Where? Boy, yeah, I love the artwork every time I come down here.

Gene Jones is really decked the place out. No, it comes from the Cowboys. The Cowboys turned AT&T into like an HGTV, you know, Jeans Got Art. A lot of it has to do with football. That's all the moms in Argyle and Stephenville and Southlake are doing. We're all just doing what they, it's, yeah.

I feel like we need to get mad at Chip and Joanna again. More on that in the news, but you're probably right. So he's got that tattoo. I found another one that he has, and it's on his wrist, like on the inside of his wrist, and it is what he calls a life license plate. It's a Tennessee license plate. By the way, coach, I hope to meet you one day.

I'm not making fun of this tattoo. I have similar thoughts. Your Faith family football tattoo's gay. It's a Tennessee license plate with his wife's birthdate and his two kids' birthdates, like as numbers, so fine. Honestly, there was a time when I was at the Hab where I was like, I'm gonna get both kids' names tattooed on my wrist, because every time if I were to pick up a drink,

I would always have to look at that. And he says the same sort of deal. So we're giving him a pass on one of these tattoos I can't find this grit tattoo so you decided not to do the kid thing at some point what was I was my wife she was like yeah and I'm still probably gonna husband to have tattoos on whenever she's holding them down in bed she has to stare at the names I thought about that but that doesn't happen. That's not a common position.

I ran through them all and I was like, this won't be weird. So. Some light, rough stuff. Yeah. Just gotta see that name coming at her. Right. Yeah, there are reasons not to do it.

But also. Don't hit me with Nora. My wife was just like, yeah, that's, she thinks my tattoos are trashy anyways. Like, I'm trashy. You know, I'm a trashy person. And so when I told her about Shadi's tattoos, I was like, hey, I think he's, apparently he has a grit tattoo. You know, like, that'd be crazy if I got that, right?

And she was like, what? And I showed her his tattoos. He has the Faith family football. I think he has the license plate, another little one on a forearm, and then this phantom grit tattoo, and she, knowing nothing about him, goes, did he grow up poor? And I was like, why?

And she was like, cause he's got Haltem City tattoos. I'm like, no, no, no, his dad was like a millionaire coach. She's like, well, he's got poor people tattoos. Like you. He's a man of the people. Yeah. He's a man of the people. Like you, yeah. He's a man of the people. So I'm gonna find this tattoo and we're gonna go from there.

Because I think if Shotty ends up flaming out of the league in three years, I'm not gonna be mad I have a grit tattoo on my hand. You think it'll take three years, do you? You're like Thanksgiving, right? You know what's fucked up? What? Is that you two have ruined my home front so much so

that when I said I was thinking about this, she said, what are you going to do with Thanksgiving when he's fired? Yes. There you go. She doesn't know anything about this. She listens to the show and hears you two buffoon. She sounds like she's very knowledgeable

about the game of football. And I'd like to. So there's my shoddy for the day. I'd like to do a little back and forth, talk to her a little bit. Coffee. Uh, maybe coffee. You want to just take a break?

Maybe that's the move. And then we'll come out, we'll do some viewer mail. Sarah joins at some point. Get the sheds in here. Get the milk sheds, uh... Milk sheds poppin'. Interesting that Grady chose this dayeds in here. Get the milk sheds. Milk sheds popping. Interesting that Grady chose this day to be here.

Well, last time it was Jimmy, who like, I love Jimmy, but it was a lot. I was like, what is this guy talking about? I was so thrown off. So yeah, it's good times. All right. The Dumb Zone You're listening to The Dumb Zone

I want to use this moment to promote our social media handles because we've never done it. Wow Right? Why don't you dab after that? Let's see. I'll dab on you, bro on Twitter or X. At the dumb zone, Instagram dumbzone69 and YouTube the dumb zone which was fun to put on our Cowboys credentials. No puppet. Oh you didn't give him no puppet? We did no puppet for the company name. They need your social handles. Yeah. Oh, they do? Yeah.

You know, you don't think this, this is common now. This is common now. All right, let's also promote Grady Spencer in your bit. Don't you got something coming up? I do. Or are you just here to show us your cool mustache? Well, that too.

Yes, I do. But thank y'all so much for letting me come hang. I've started a hat and t-shirt company. And not only that, I've bought the naming rights to the World Tour, Happy Humble World Tour. Begins on Friday, July 25th at The Post in Fort Worth. And ends on Saturday, July 26th at Edmond, Oklahoma. Yeah, so the whole, yeah.

Anywhere you can imagine, it's a world tour. And the naming rights were quite expensive. I just asked my buddies, I'm gonna be playing with my friends Cody Culberson and Brandon Birdwell, two incredible songwriters. They call it a song swap, so we'll just take turns. Those are fun. Yeah, singing acoustic songs, telling stories,

and just having a good old time. Yeah, it's gonna be a blast. I'd love for everyone listening to come buy tickets, please come hang out with us. As of right now, I think I can, I think I'm gonna get a wild hair. Yeah, you should, man, yeah. How often you look at that summer calendar

and see nothing on a Saturday. And now if I plan something, I can say,, oh I'm busy, I can't do that. It's a Grady's thing. It's a work thing. It is a work thing. That's right. You can go to GradySpencer.com for tickets. More info, happyhumbleclub.com.

We'd love to see you. Come hang out with us. Tell me I suck, like the Rose Twins, I love it. I'll buy you a beer. Yeah. Viewer mail today brought to us by Early Bird CBD, which is not just CBD, it's got THC. Yep, that's why it works.

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You know? Oh yeah, wait a minute, Uncle Hotmail What do you call this sort of- This is your rival. Your rival band. Strike my enemies. What do you call this sort of... This is your rival band. Sorry, my enemies. What do you call this sort of arrangement? This like 50s, Grease, Barber, that... There's a word I'm looking for.

Barbershop quartet. Yeah, but there's like that... Yeah, we'll talk. Yeah. Never mind. So I had told you the other day I got a lot of Blake email. Yeah. So let me roll through some of that right now.

It was so refreshing to hear that someone else plays 42. Love it. This is a game you play with your grandpa? Yeah, it's kind of an old Texas game, Domino's. You catch tricks, you bid. There's a lot of strategy involved. You play with a partner, it's awesome. And it's dying. No young people know how play with a partner, it's awesome. And it's dying.

No young people know how to play it anymore, which is sad. But I love it. It's my favorite game. You ever get to a point in life where you just realize something you always thought you'd kind of do or get into, it's just not happening? Like for me, I always thought, I don't know how to play any games.

Card games, like my uncles were always doing that. Oh yeah. Like for me, I always thought like I don't know how to play any games card games Like my uncles were always doing that and oh, yeah cards Domino's all of it Bigger rehab my mom and my aunt Yeah My grandparents and all their friends would play 42 all the time on a Friday or Saturday night Yeah, play drinking coffee and I thought that's what I want to do when I get old now You know do that. I don't play games. My mom still does cards with her old friends.

And she told me their game had to end last week a little early because the 90-year-old had a little accident. Oh. Um. She had to go change. And then by then, it was like nine o'clock. I don't think that, I. I'm just saying you become a baby again.

You start as a baby. You get the middle where you get to kick ass and go to game day men's health and do lots of sex. Let me phrase my confusion as this way. When other, when babies poop themselves, other babies aren't like, get out of here. So I just kind of assume when you're old... First of all, it took her, she said it takes her

about a half hour to walk from the room they play into the elevator. That I could see. And then... Then slowed down by the poop. It's all, yes, there's no... Yeah, you're right, you gotta get out of there. She's like, that's an ender. I want to live in a world where you're in a nursing home and you poop yourself, no, there's no. Yeah, you're right, you gotta get out of there. She's like, that's an ender.

I want to live in a world where you're in a nursing home and you poop yourself, no one shames you. Like, it's just, okay. Yeah, well no, no one was shaming this lady, but the lady is like, look, I'm probably gonna be done. Yeah. I fold. Yeah. We had a game end early because somebody was talking across the table

and all the old men got mad and went to their rooms. So this is from Ryan he says he wants a monthly 42 stat betting update in the MBR. Let's slow down there Ryan. He says he's DF number 1650. Has the dumb zone officially retired number 42 to honor Jackie Robinson. I haven't heard anything about that Also, you should retire number 77 Hey, we'll do that. I wouldn't mind getting a 42 game together with subbies Once a month or so if I get enough correspondence Does that mean just you? Like we don't have to be a part of it, right? No, no, no.

Just me and, I don't know, a group of subbies. Let's play some FortiQ. Somebody sent me a thing that said, I hope, oh, Daniel. Thank you, Kendall. Maybe that'll catch on. Instead of, if you just, if I just read Daniel at the start of every email, we don't lose $10,000 of sponsorships for the fall which we did. It was more. I know I just wanted to make it a round number. I know but it was closer to the

higher round number and that one would have sounded more shocking. Was it closer to 20? Hell yeah. Was it like 18? I hope the monthly Blake review guy has capacity to track one more piece of gold. Blake's impression of himself is art. I know that sounds gay, but it's accurate ever since, let's see, anyway, here's the best example on today's exemplary edition of the pod, 71025 at 20333 on the Spotify app. This is from Kendall, where apparently Blake imitated

Blake. So Blake referenced the blue alert earlier that was tripping everybody out at his grandfather's nursing home. The blue alert is when a police officer is when you're about to blue. It's when a police officer is when you're about to blue. Deposit on the small of her back and kind of give her a little. Blue. Little pat, let her know, right? I'm about to blue. Yeah. You gotta give an alert. Don't you sometimes give a pre-warning?

Or no? Blue or blow is not the verb I typically use. Arrive. I'm about to arrive. Blue or blow is not the verb I typically use. Arrive? I'm about to arrive. Commence. Blue sounds like you're doing cadence. Do you tell her? You're like, blue, ba-da.

With your little Blake voice? Because I respect you so much you should know I'm about to come. But not right now, like later. I'll let you know. I could probably keep going. I'll give you a reminder every 30 seconds. Okay, two minutes. So was that good?

Blake's Blake imitation. I don't know if it's good, but it's funny. Very weak. I just like thinking of Blake having sex talk. Yeah, yeah. Especially now that we know that he sounds like that but goes so hard that his nipple rings got ripped out while he was having sex.

Hey, look who it is. Sarah Heppala. Sarah Heppala's here. Hey guys. Sarah Heppala. What? Sarah. What's going on? I don't know.

I think we made an intro once upon a time. I like that. It sounded very epic. Sarah Heppala from the Dallas Morning News. True enough. From the New York Times bestseller list. Do you get to still say that if it was like 10 years ago? 10 years ago?

They never take it away. That was actually my first thought when they called me to tell me I was on that list was nobody can ever take it away. I'm going to the grave with that. It doesn't matter if I never write a book and I might not, but I have good news on that front, guys. On you writing a book? Mm-hmm. Heck yeah. You want to tell us right now or should we keep going with some viewer mail?

We'll get to her. Or not her, but her wife specific. We'll get to her. I don't want wanna overtake. Do you know anything about Angelo? Angelo is Blake's homeless guy. Aw. Blake met a homeless guy. Couple months ago now.

Gave him a, he felt so bad about his plight. Gave him a Venmo credit card. Debit card.mo credit card. Debit card. Debit card. He went and bought him, he met him on the train, he went and bought him lunch and said, I think this guy needs more than that.

I kind of believe in him here. He got him a $25 Venmo gift card. I know this is annoying because other people know this story, but was there anything special about Angelo that spoke to you? His big hog? What that mouth do?

He could pop his teeth out. Well, because you could do this to anybody. Get a gummer. No, I'm probably a sucker. I don't know. He's a believer. He was like, God's going to bless me. Then it just pulled at me.

And I don't know. I just felt for him. Just a cosmic connection. Just, yeah, whatever. It's sweet, isn't it? Whatever turns me into a sucker. So sounds sweet, doesn't it? I love it. a sucker. So, sounds sweet, doesn't it? I love it, I love it.

He gave him a $25 card, but he told him, I'm gonna put $25 on for you every week. Relodable, 25, it'll help you. You'll get three meals out of it a week, hopefully. See that sign right there? Okay. Money in here for the homeless. Game day mental.

25 bucks a week, 4.3 weeks of a month? You can spare $25 for someone who needs it. Yes, you can. Could you before? You couldn't. But anyway, then he's become a big beating because he'll spend all the money in one day. He spent $20 asking for more. Angelo, now are you micro monitoring what he spends the money on?

I wasn't going to bring it up to the show because when you're being charitable, you're not supposed to talk about it or feel good about it. But then I gave him the card, I said, I hope this helps you, take care, let me know if you need anything. And within 30 minutes, he went to Torchy's Tacos and bought $19 worth of tacos.

This is fantastic. We're conducting like a full scale social experiment. This could be a great article. We consulted Brunig. Oh my God. Okay, I totally want to write a story about Angelo and you and your relationship. And it also reminds me of when my brother lends me money

and then watches my social media and is like, oh, I see that you went to dinner. It sucks. I see that you took a trip. Like what's going on? This is something that like college kids have to manage in the social media age, right? Right, I can't do it.

I'm busy. Oh, really? Yeah. Anyway, Johnny, listening to Blake's update about Angela, losing his card, also asking for more food to feed multiple people. It dawned on me he's got to be trading that food for some street pussy.

OK, listen. That's from Johnny. Here's how we arrived at food for some street pussy. Ha! Okay, listen. That's from Johnny. Here's how we arrived at this potential conclusion, Sarah. So he was giving him $25 a week. Angelo was not aware of the balance, other than with a piece of paper and a pen, if he wanted to. So he doesn't know how much is on there.

Blake sees it, Angelo doesn't. Gotcha. So he lost the card. He kept bothering Blake, he was bothering Blake, I need more, can you put a little more on here? So now Blake has shifted to the model of he's giving him $100 a month, which is actually less money.

Well, depends on the month, sure. 4.3 week guy over here. There was just too much communication. I was beginning to just not feel for this guy anymore. And you're resenting it. There was just too much communication. But he- I was beginning to- Oh, absolutely. Just not feel for this guy anymore. And you're resenting it. And I didn't like it.

Yes. So I thought to cut it back a little bit, let's go monthly. Yes. Which is probably worse because he probably has no idea how much is left now. However, our first purchase with this new financial arrangement was $32 at Lowe's,

which I feel like we're growing. Absolutely. And you know, there was still money there six, seven days later. So this is where he is now. There's a guy out there. And here's the other thing. We found out Angelo has at least two other benefactors.

No, no. Does that, that kind of hurts. It hurt me. It should. And one more, just for Blake here. That kind of hurts. It hurt me. It should. And one more just for Blake here. Dear Justicar of the Juice Pits, the Puntang pastor spreading the legs of the good word. What was the first word with the J?

Justicar? Is that one that I should know? Justicar? Sounds Latin. It does. He says, establish the run guy is greater than run the ball guy. Everyone runs the ball. The need to establish the run game

is what makes it so quintessentially old man. I thought it was genius when Blake presented it. And I feel it has been dumbed down. I agree. Did you originally present it as Establish the Run Guy? Yeah, I think so. That was my gummy thought. He did.

Okay, well then it is our bad. So we will forevermore refer to you as Establish the Run Guy. ERG. Jake! This is from Nick, all from Nick. Can I get a name rating from a newborn baby? Hit me. Madigan.

I like it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I only know one Madigan. Madigan from Cirque and P-Dog, but it seems like a chill name. It's like a nice mix of old and new in some way, I feel. I have another name rating for you. Jake rates baby names.

I get that. Cause he'll tell you to your face that your baby's name sucks. It's brutal in here today. That's what people though want. They do. Somebody honest like Jake. Get real.

Yeah. Right. If you ask me, I'll say it's a great name. And then behind your back, I'll call Blake and be like, do you hear that name? You're so gay. Have you ever read Sam Harris' online? I'm familiar with, yes. I guess I've heard him talk about it.

So it's so hardcore because he basically just doesn't believe in lying at all. So if your wife comes downstairs and is like, do I look fat in this? You're supposed to be like, yes. Yeah, but the thing I have, the issue I- If she does, if she does. Let me tell you the issue I have with that,

and it's something that's really been tripping me up post not always being a little sauced. I find it frustrating that somebody's supposed to directly answer that question, in this case the husband. What if the wife and the husband don't mean or understand the same things in those words? Totally. So I can't answer a question straight anymore because to me it's like, well, I don't know that fat means the same thing to me as it does you.

So Sam Harris' plan is bullshit. You can't just have some sort of Kantian commitment to... It's too black and white. And you're exactly right. And you look at Jennifer Love Hewitt, that's a perfect example this week of, you know. Whew, that almost melted the group chat. Yeah. What'd I miss? Jennifer Love Hewitt at like the 25th anniversary

of I Know What You Did Last Summer. She's probably 100 pounds heavier and I didn't need Game Day Men's Health for that, buddy. She looks incredible. She looks like an adult, a healthy, bountiful woman. She looks like a beautiful middle-aged woman. And she's like a non-osmotic, aging naturally, this is the curves of a real woman.

Yeah. Who wants that? So there's plenty of people on the internet that will tell you, I know I did last summer ... eight. You know, or rated the pledge or whatever. So that's out there. Send that to Brian Curtis.

A little more high brow, but yeah. But I think Jake's reaction is much more common amongst the dudes that I know. Yeah. And me too. That's the thing. Every guy that's saying she's fat is gonna bang her. Well, there's a difference between maybe, but I would do it. Because I'm gonna say she's fat

and then I'm also going to just greedily run to her if she has to go to heaven. I would treat her like I was a slave and she was some sort of pharaoh queen or something. I'm not here because like- Would you feed her grapes? Would you dress in a grape outfit? Yeah.

I'll do, I'll wear anything. Anyway, the baby name is from Hutch and his wife, Andrew's friend Hutch. Baby girl, Ro Nicole Overton. How do you spell the first name? R-O-W-E. Man, I kinda like that. I kinda like that.

Ro the little man in the boat? Yeah, you know. It's, it feels a little weird to throw Ro in there, like for a baby, you know, it's the news and stuff, but I never tell you when I was in college, I had a lifelong friend. Oh, Ro Wade. You've known my buddy, you know, it's the news and stuff. I'll ever tell you when I was in college, I had a lifelong friend. Oh, Roe Wade. You know my buddy Wade.

Roe? I had a buddy, we met a guy named Roe, a drug dealer. His name was like something Roe Binsky. Did they ever get into a tiff? I was, dude, I had posters, I was tracking down a ring, I was gonna have, they were two big fighting motherfuckers too and I was gonna have them fight in the backyard. Sell tickets for Roe v. Wade.

Best way to plan, you know? I was selling, I was like, actually hyping this thing up on campus. Oh my God, that's adorable. It would've been great. Quick question here for Blake. I have one from Nothotgirljess. Blake recently went to Chuck E. Cheese.

This guy sells beer for a living and he wanted to know if you dabbled. You're not a beer guy. But he said, some tips, they have a strict two beer limit and for your second beer, maybe for you, Grady, must be spaced out from your first by at least an hour. They are hardcore about this for good reason, but there is a loophole, the wife loophole.

Oh. If she doesn't want beer, you just stagger hers every half hour, and now you have four beers. Dude, do you remember learning that Chuck E. Cheese had beer? I do not. I wasn't as excited, perhaps, as had beer. I do not. I wasn't as excited perhaps as you were. I wasn't. I remember going as a kid and watching,

it was my stepdad and my buddy's dad sit down and we were there for like six hours. I'm like, this is great. But I do kind of remember. You don't seem to care about anything. I seem to remember pictures. Oh yeah, that's what it was. It was pictures of Keystone Light back in the day.

Hidden inside. That's cheaper than day. Hidden inside that beer limit is a million terrible stories about parents getting completely wasted. Somebody make that documentary. Somebody make the reason there's a limit on beer at Chuck E. Cheese. You know there's cameras in there. Oh yeah. Yeah. I do wanna make one programming note There's a limit on beer at Chuck E. Cheese. You know there's cameras in there. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I do want to make one programming note regarding viewer mail. I have received a lot of correspondence regarding the Disney World ride, The Alien Encounter. It was shut down some 20 years ago. Apparently I'm not the only one who got nightmares for like three years from it. All the way from our buddy Dan, the guitarist from the Clinton years,

to Billy, our CFO. This ride had to be shut down because it was so scary and I want to do like a full segment on it. So to those who emailed me, because there's a ton of people that are like, I had nightmares forever. Is it based on the movie Alien? So I think so, but, I had nightmares forever. Is it based on the movie Alien? So I think so, but what I was confusing is I thought it was Independence Day because it's very much like the Independence Day scene where the doctor's in there

and the alien gets up against the glass. Because you're in this lab and they're operating on an alien, but then it gets out. Oh wow. And it was when they were using like, water or or mist, like it's breath, and you could feel it breathing on your back as it moved around. And they had to shut it down.

Yeah, wow, interesting. Thank you. I appreciate that. Clayton, the picture in there from JR, we were talking about the sauna the other day, and are you a sauna person? Yeah, and I just have a new story on World Springs. I've been.

You've been, okay cool. Are you a fan? I am. Cool. Big time. This guy just asked me about the sauna, blah blah blah, what are you into it for? But then he said, you guys were recently talking

about dwarf wrestling, is it still around? And he sent me this picture from just a couple years ago. He said he was an hazel and yeah. Hazel, no way. Yeah. Hornets. So I think it's still out there. Some of those dudes look really faded.

Yes, they. More power too, you know. Do you think there's a substance abuse problem in the dwarf community in general? There has to be. Yeah, do you remember when Verne Troyer was on the surreal world and he got super wasted and blacked out and put on the corner?

Eric, Eric, Eric, yeah, we remember that very well. And then he also was on wife swap. And we reviewed that recently. Wow. He had a lovely lady with him. She was great, loved him for him. For real, they wife swapped with Hines Ward, the NFL player.

What did you have to do on wife swap? Well, it's what it sounds like. His girlfriend, Vern Troyer's very nice but bimbo-y looking stoner girlfriend lived with an NFL player's wife. They live with them. Yeah, and then his hard ass wife went and lived with an NFL player's wife. They live with them. Yeah. And then his hard ass wife came and lived with Vern Troyer, who has a fountain Mountain Dew machine lower to the ground

in his living room. Michael Marks emailed us. So wild. And he said, this is about the flood. Because I was watching stories about the flood. And I was like, I was watching stories about the flood and they said the flood occurred in a place called Flash Flood Alley. And I thought, should I feel that bad for the people

if you set up your tent in something that's called Flash Flood Alley? But he said he's from around there and it's not a thing. That's what I told you. My wife used to be the director of one of the camps on the Guadalupe. I've never heard the term Texas flash flood alley until these recent floods. I thought there was like a sign that said welcome to flash flood alley and then you're like,

I can't believe it, there's a flood. That guy's got to be pretty young though because there was a huge flash flood at one of the camps in 87. There was, but I'm just saying I didn't grow up thinking that was a term. Like I went to the river 100 times, and I didn't know it as Flash Flood Alley. Oh no, I've never heard that before. And that's the, same thing, the New York Times podcast I was listening to was like,

what is known locally as Flash Flood Alley. Right, apparently there is. I think a lot of times this stuff just gets made up. I mentioned this the other day, but there's a new show. Dan's trying to use the word Remo for remodel. Oh, okay. And we've been debating whether or not that plays. I support you, Dan.

And Austin, who claims to be day one number four, is the one who told us that Chip and JoJo have a new show on HBO called this. Oh, God bless it, Blake. Was I up? Isn't it called Remo with the Homo? Sorry. That was a story you had yesterday, right? They were like gay or something?

This is a different show. It's not Remo with the homo. It's not. Really? Romo. They call it for short. No, trust me. I heard that plenty.

Remod with a hot bod. What can we do there? More than homo-remo. That's just, we can work on that. But no, this is the new show. Mini-Rini is a way to show people how you can re-trans... Wait, what's the first? Mini? Oh, Mini Renny.

Mini Rinny is a way to show people... I think it comes with some of the most creative things happen. It sounds like a drink that you get at a girl's happy hour. ...when you just get a little creative and you think outside the box. Mini Rinny. I love it. And the hope is that we inspire people to get ideas for your very own Mini Renny. I'm kind of, that's kind of what I'm doing with the den. Yeah.

We're not really Remo, that's remodel. You are a Homo though. Kind of renovating it. Yeah, I am a Homo. So what can I, what is our word for- Homo sapien. Is there a word- I'm allowed to say it. Is there a word I can get that rhymes with many

You absolutely did that in in school homo sapien. You called someone a homo I actually teacher yelled at you and you said sapien. I can I can confidently tell you i've never done that. Oh, I never used the word homo Oh, I used the word gay. That was more my speed homo felt kind of 80s to me Like early 90s. It's very 80s. Yeah, like a grungy or something. Oh, Homo. Yeah, no.

We'd ride our bikes until 9 PM and then start calling everybody up. The way God and the Founding Fathers intended. We'd leave the house at 9 AM and you wouldn't see him again until later, which really is kind of baffling, the way the entire culture has changed. To where we all have a leash to our parents, like you know where your kid is every second of every day.

That's big, but I don't, this is probably not that compelling of content, but to me the biggest change that I'm running into now, and my mom's probably gonna be pissed hearing this, it is what it is, you're just, kids are just, you're just not afraid of your parents. You're just not afraid, they don't,

they're not afraid of me at all. Like, and I don't know that you had to get- You gotta be physically violent against this. I don't know that you had to get hit to get afraid of your parents, but I got hit and I was terrified of my parents. Yeah. The shift from authoritative parenting

to parents are your friends is one of the biggest shifts. There's a book on this. Yeah, and it's something I wanna talk with you about. Yeah. And we're talking men in novels. But I still am firm with them. Like I'll grab Carter's arm and look him mean, but I'm not gonna hit him.

And they're not afraid of me. And I don't really know anybody my age who has kids who are like, yeah, my kids are afraid of me. Well, and by extension, kids then aren't afraid of other adults either. Yeah. Yeah. This is racial a little bit. There's an interesting, you know,

there have been interesting, like racial flashpoint moments where, for instance, like a black mother was disciplining her son on the subway and a white couple intervened. And, you know, that's a difference in parenting. And I've read critiques by black journalists saying, hey, we do this differently than y'all do. I mean, this obviously sounds weird,

but I remember when I had friends that were of a different color, my scene seemed a lot more like theirs than the ones that my white friends had. Just, it was just a lot more going on. Anyways, I don't know how we started talking about that. What about this one? It has to do with Game Day Men's Health.

Is it a D-Pick? Dear Uncle Face Spangler, Dan and Blake are my leaders. I've been interested to hear about Jake's endeavor into TRT, that is the testosterone replacement, right? I'm a with that sweet sweet 10% discount for life to take home and shoot up myself? The answer is yes, you can. You can take it home? So fascinated by this. They also have like a cream. Yeah, that's, yeah.

Which they say I think is the most effective way to apply it, but it's like a daily then. Or you could do the weekly shot, or you can do some other stuff. Yeah. That's from Taylor. But for me though, like, I'm not a great test case for if you had questions, because I already

was in a way different place physically and mentally than I was a year ago. So measuring what's what. I had already gotten myself to the best shape as I can get in with my life. Yeah. And so at that point, like, I'm taking TRT, but. But what's the, I'm not really.

Why? I wanted to try it. I did get it measured and it was low. And I think for just the way that I like to live, I'm not like a sloth and lead type person. I need to be moving. And so it's a low dose, but I can tell by like week five or six, really by week three or four, I can tell.

Like if I'm working out, there's a different gear. There just is. So this is what I assume would happen. You'd get angrier faster, you'd get more horny, and you'd have more energy. No, I don't really get angry at all, ever. Interesting. So maybe, again, maybe I'm not a good test case.

No, I don't think testosterone just means you're gonna be all fired up and pissed. Yeah, I mean, everybody we talk, it's a normal. That's why I'm not with- That's the misconception. You guys watch lesbian's- You guys watch, like those guys there are the most positive, cool guy. Yeah. Anybody I've ever met that's doing it is like, this is great.

But there's never like, I'm pissed. My presumption was out of ignorance. And I'm asking you to refine my understanding. Yeah, I think a big part of it is, you know, it's just the general thing of your body produces it, and there's a reason why you can ride your bike until nine, and then still go call your friends homos when you're 13. It's because you have boundless testosterone.

And so as you get older, obviously, I'm sure there's an analogous situation for women, but like your brain stops working late in the day. You start to feel foggy, and that puts you in a bad mood. Now you're in a bad mood and you can't figure out why other than except you know it's your fault because you're just not as much of a person anymore. Like you're not, that's what makes people sad,

I think, or mad. That's so interesting. There's a This American Life about testosterone. Boy, I bet, God, I'd love to hear them. It's really fascinating didn't they inject it well first of all you'll love this all the people in their studio took a testosterone test and the person Ira glass just person with the most testosterone was the woman that make that's add it to the why Hillary

won list and all of her male voters are betaas. And then they had a story about somebody that was transitioning. This is before we even have the phrase trans. But this person was born female and transitioning to be male. And I think they've taken this podcast off their rotation or off their website. But basically, this person says that after doing testosterone, they A, couldn't stop staring at women's asses and B, got better at math.

Damn. They cannot let that information out there. Are we done with viewer mail? I have one more really long one. That's what she said, but she didn't say it. Anyway, I think I'll save it for tomorrow's show. We met this guy out at Whataburger. It was weird too, because they just started soaking dishes. They wouldn't wash them. They would just fill it with water and leave it there

and expect the woman to clean it. She doesn't live with a man, so that joke didn't. A five page. Good. Did this guy not send these to you? The five page report on... I don't know, but the second I see something that long... Well, you see I highlighted it down, but...

He went to the Dude Perfect show. Oh, yeah! I have a story coming out about that. And, uh... I was there too. You were? Well, let's talk about it then. Yeah, I went there too. Oh, look at this.

Blake! You guys were at the Dude Perfect show? Yeah, let's talk about it then. Yeah, I went there too. Oh, look at this. Blake! You guys were at the Dude Perfect show? Yeah, my daughter really loves him. Let's do it. Okay, well let's shift into that and I'll use this as his guide. The saying that Blake just shot my way.

It's so palpable. This was Rusty, who we met at the Whataburger remote a week ago, couple weeks ago, whatever. And I asked him, or he said he was going to the Do Perfect show that night. I'm like, hey, send us a report. I just thought he might, hey, it was pretty good or whatever.

He went. He sent me everything that happened. Every second that he was there. He says he's 44, his wife is 48, daughter 11. Crowd demographic, I would guess, is all kids brought by their parents. Like, if you're old enough to go there without your parents, you're not in to do perfect.

I didn't see anybody like that, no. Where was it? Dickies. Dickies, yeah, in Fort Worth. So they come out, he says first they had a DJ. Pumps everybody up. Then at 7.30... Real quick on the DJ, we were right behind him, and he was sitting there

texting before the show started, and a guy with a gimbal came and put a camera on his face, and he was like, no, not yet. He hadn't flipped the switch yet. Like he did not want a camera in his face. Like this huge Puerto Rican guy. Yeah, he did not wanna be a part of that. So then right at the end of the DJ thing,

the giant panda comes out as- I'm sorry, the what? Is that a- If you're a Dude Perfect viewer, as I have been in the past, yes, one of their things is, they must have just had a big panda costume laying around for one of their early videos,

and somebody put it on and did a couple trick shots, and then now the panda's part of their thing. It's canon. Yeah, the Pink Floyd flying pig, or I don't know what else I can pull out quickly for an analogy So then they come out and they're gonna do a battle like there's some battle thing was the first I Don't know you guys that he doesn't have much on I mean he has a lot on it I didn't highlight much from the first battle

So the first battle is they three guys climb up onto planks that basically look like tall diving boards without boards, okay? And then they bungee jump off of them, and then they're trying to get basketballs into a series of hoops. I thought that it was a combination of like American gladiators and stupid human tricks.

Okay. Well, they also brought out in that part, they brought out a YouTuber that my eight year old son who doesn't like Dude Perfect, he almost crapped his pants. Is this Zach King? Yes. Yes, he was there and my son was like flipping out that like he was in the same air as Zach King,

which was really, I guess, you know, that's a mission accomplished for them. See, 13 milli. Yeah, he's a big guy. For the net worth for 35 year old Zach King. Yeah, the guy did write about Zach King. He said the crowd went wild. I have no idea who the crap Zach King is.

Anyway, so. By the way, when you say there's dudes out there, like are we talking about known dudes or do they have some foot clan? Is it the guys you know as the guys? Because don't they have a diaspora now? No, it's just five of them. The five, and they're Texas A&M grads.

Oh, I know all about Dude Perfect. I just knew when they do live, I didn't know if they had like, okay. It's just them. Yeah, okay. So then between battles, they have to like, they had to break everything down and set up another thing. So he says, they put on an American Idol type segment

called Cool Not Cool. Yeah. You might remember they were doing this. It's like Cool Not Cool. They did this when they did a cowboy game, right? Yeah. It's time for Cool Not Cool! Yeah!

He said, basically, the dudes would do this. It's time for Cool Not Cool! He said basically the dudes would talk about something they invented. The crowd would text in and tell them if it was cool or not cool. First dude invented like a Wolverine claws so you could wear them around town. They had knives shoot out of the fist. He popped a balloon with it. Crowd votes? Cool.

Yes. Second dude invented giant Hulk hands that weighed 50 pounds. He broke a table with them, smashed a watermelon, the crowd goes wild, voted. Cool. Cool. I guess everything was cool except for like one thing. No, they all got voted cool.

It was just varying degrees of cool. And then one thing was, was really cool. Oh, okay. The plasma blaster. Okay. Then the twins did a battle. No joke there, huh? Cody and Cory or whoever the twins are.

One had a Mavs jersey, one had a Luca. No way. One had a, yeah, so. Does he mention the fire Nico chant? Oh, no. Yeah, that was interesting. But it did not go well. Like nobody, that was not the demographic

who was gonna join in on that. It did not catch on. Okay, so some of the parents were like, let's- Or maybe one. I tried, but nobody around was like having it, so. Well, and I thought I heard Cody say, oh, is Nico Harrison in the crowd tonight? If so, we're just having fun, you know, because they realize

Pussies well, that's money though. They That they likely is there not a point where you have enough to that's what I think Yeah, finally get out the chopper and they're not saying and say I mean we thought there is What do you mean? I mean we're Where you we've yeah, you've been like look I'm going to say what I want about Nico. I'm not going to be beholden to making some money. And I would say you need that money a lot more than they do. The point, if Tyler wanted to get up there, just, I don't know.

You could win a whole demographic. That choice is not about money for them. It's the choice about they are Christian dudes that don't cuss and are very, very nice. Right. Well, as a Christian, that'll get you a homeless guy. I was raised as a Christian to call out evil where I see it.

Nice. And I don't see any issue with Cody. Intermission went from 810 to 835. Oh yeah. After that, it was time for Wheel of Misfortune. What do you think that is? Wheel Unfortunate. Wheel Unfortunate? Okay. Then they bring up two random boys, he says,

to play Dude Perfect Trivia. The first boy to answer three correct questions about Dude Perfect videos from the Dude Perfect app wins. The boys don't have a clue to any of the answers. The crowd had to tell them all of the answers. That's embarrassing. One of them won. I think he got some sort of the answers. The crowd had to tell him all of the answers. One of them won.

I think he got some sort of bag. Assuming someone listens to your show and they don't. He says, next, there's a dance off between the panda and, that's right, you guessed it, kids in the crowd. And then it was battle number three. He says basically the same as battle number one. Well, first of all, the trivia was sponsored by Google Gemini.

That's true. And so the answers were given by the Google Gemini voice. And I was just thinking, holy crap, the marketing. And just like, how much are they getting paid for this? And it was just, it was wild. It's so much money. Yeah. That's incredible. And it's's also like it just takes away from the whole thing I think that reminds me Frankel and Frankel personal injury

attorneys if you do get an accident please remember Frankel and Frankel it's the first thing I think of when I get into my daily accidents but 214 or 817 then you dial all threes. Really, personal injury attorneys, them insurance companies are going to try and keep you down. And it's almost sad in a way you need Franco and Frankel, but you do. You do. I was walking in downtown today and I saw a bus drive by with Frankel and Frankel on the side of it and Jean Burkett. They were all holding on?

No, it was an advertisement for them. Had that bus hit me, killed me, Frankel would have fought for my family. It would not have deterred them that my body was splattered all over. I hope your last call would have been to the Frankels. You know what? I would have known it without the number being on the bus,

all threes. So after battle number three, the dudes took a moment to show how humble they are by saying they're not the real heroes out there. The military members and first responders are. Then they had the crowd stand if you were a military first responder and everyone gave them a round of applause.

Interesting, I would say higher than that would be Jesus. But- That came later. That's the finale. Then they got to rank, the time was to rank superheroes from 10 to one, we gave that honor to Ty. What are we doing? What is this, the freak?

There's a wall numbered one to 10. What's happening? What do you mean rank, they just stand up there and talk? It was a, there was like a billboard and then they had 10 spaces and then a bunch of pictures So there's like a pink and it was random to you know, like you had your classics like Superman and spider-man but there was like pink Power Ranger and like somebody from the Incredibles and Elsa from frozen it says Elsa and then 10 Clint Eastwood. I mean not Clint Eastwood

Walker, Texas Walker Ranger What's his name? Chuck Norris. Right. Yeah. Well, number one. What? Did I say something?

No. Spoiler alert, it said Superman, it looks like is going to be in his rightful place at number one. Oh wait, Ty throws down the Superman logo and pulls a baby Jack-Jack from the Incredibles logo from behind the logo wall Ranks Jack Jack is the number one superhero of all time. Oh The outrage from the other dudes so they start yelling at Ty about how dumb his rankings are and that makes Ty very upset

and that leads us to Now if you're a YouTube Now, if you're a YouTube Dude Perfect viewer, as I am, you're aware of what that leads us to. Rage. You guys may not be. Monster. The rage monster. Everyone's favorite bit.

This is why Ty is the favorite. They put him in some kind of a medical-induced coma so he can rage inside a safe space and the crowd can see the video going on inside his head. So basically, in a video, like, somebody makes him mad and then all of a sudden he tears some stuff up. Like they will just take a sledgehammer and just if he had his rage monster came into the studio, he might just beat the hell out of just kill this wall or just start smashing our desk. And it's entertaining on

video, especially if you're a little kid. and those are basically the times I've ever watched their videos when I'm watching it with a little kid and don't worry it's my little kid it was my little kid so don't act like I'm just importing little kid but again the main the the the main bit the one that was actually it sounds like sponsored by Jesus the one they've built towards is just they hit stuff with a hammer. It's the whole. Well, it's the penultimate. The crowd is going wild.

He said, a little boy next to me lets out a supersonic scream that has been unleashing into my soul all night. Then it was the final battle, and it was, I don't know, who cares? So. Yo, go ahead, I'm disgusted. He said, I'm not sure what I really just witnessed,

but it was finally over. My wife and I were beaten by the whole thing. My daughter had the greatest night she could have ever imagined. And that does rule. After all expenses tallied, three people, tickets, 185 bucks. Dang.

Parking 55 bucks, which he says is the steal of the night. Wow. Which I would think that's a lot. Mine was 35 and I parked right up in front. Look at you just, well you also had those big jugs that you could show them. Oh my God. Food and water $107 and for a total of $347 that's from Rusty Carver.

So is it an issue where kids just don't get to tear stuff up anymore? Yeah. Like everybody has like, because like I would, we would do that. It's a, it's a, my, the sound is going out. It's a total childhood fantasy, you know, and I think you're right. They're, they're, especially the boys, they're, they're being told, sit still, behave, don't, you know, and so. Yeah.

It's, they're, I saw this kid, he looked like he was vibrating during that rage monster thing. I mean, just like somebody, like a girl watching the Beatles in the 60s. I know there's a book about this that came out in the last decade about boys and just like how this, what we're, it doesn't work. Like the school's built for females.

100%. Like it's built for little girls and there's not, your square peg, wrap it and that's. Are you thinking of the Richard Reeves book of boys and men or something like that? And it's basically about how boys are falling behind in all categories. I know that was part of whatever I read

in the days of reading. Oh yeah. Let's see that in closing remarks. Okay. You're banned on reading? No, yes. Also, Sarah sent us an interesting article a couple of weeks ago about why men don't read novels

anymore, which is, I think, very interesting, because we got a fiction boy over here ourselves. Who's fiction boy? Me. Oh, okay. I hadn't read a fiction book in forever. This article spoke very much to me. But for now, we can do some news. Oh, all right.

Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News. Let's say this is brought to us by Fairlease.org. Fairlease. Fairlease.org is a place you can shop for a vehicle right where you are right now, even right where you're sitting there, Sarah. You can just tune out Jake and look through the vehicles at Fairlease.org. Well, as you might have heard there in a couple hours ago, was that pre-show, we were talking about Jonathan Song.

He was the subject of the Blue Alert that was issued a couple months ago. I thought it was Benjamin Song? I say Jonathan, Benjamin Song, you're right. I have no idea why I just said that. Benjamin Song, they put out the Blue Alert. He was involved in the attack on an ICE detention facility in Alvarado back on July 4th.

And they had arrested several people right away, 10, 11 of them, but then he was just kinda out there. And he was actually arrested in Dallas. So 32 years old guy, there she goes. She's leaving. She just left. She's going to Fairleys. Like you said.

It worked. She could have done it here. So this is why we're interested. There was a $10,000 reward listed for this guy. So again, he was involved in the attack on police officers. No one died, but one of them did get shot. A total of 35,000 in rewards were offered by agencies. So let's make sense of that sentence.

The $10,000 reward listed for information leading to his arrest had been crossed out. This is on the website. A total of $35,000 in rewards were offered by agencies. So I feel like what we're, have you guys ever gone to exchange something and you didn't have a receipt and they're like, well, we're gonna give you back whatever it was

for the cheapest price in the last nine months. It feels like that's what we're doing with reward money. They just only give out a third of it? We need a reward money expert. This is coming up on the show a lot. Yeah, I always wondered, does anybody ever get it? And see, my thing is I think they do, but it's like a class actionaction lawsuit where everybody gets like a

Ten bucks and if they say there's a hundred thousand dollar reward and you turn in the guy it was your neighbor Is that taxed oh Hundred percent. It's got is it taxed at a higher rate than if you just earn that money You ever called in with a tip Mm-hmm. It was the last time you called the cops at a higher rate than if you just earn that money? You ever called in with a tip? Mm-mm. When was the last time you called the cops? I don't think I've ever called the cops,

but I have family and I have a family member in the DEA, and so there's, I'll ask him, because I'm sure he's dealt with the rewards before. Have you ever called the cops? No. Me neither. I got a couple on my ledger. This was a big topic on the show for a while

when you guys were calling me a narc. Why'd you call the cops? Oh, cause you're a neighbor or something? It wasn't my neighbor, it was just a- These people were having sex on his patio. No, incorrect. It was St. Patrick's Day and some guy was asleep, like pretty close, you know, closer to my door

than the street in my front yard. And I don't know, I thought he was... You just let the dog out. I didn't want him to walk into the street. He clearly, clearly would have been a danger to himself by way of vehicle. I don't think he would even have been able to get all threes in his state. Darwin, bro. But I also, one time when I was in grad school

living in Denton, I called the cops on the people like three houses down for noise. Really bad luck. Wow, dude. And I'm gonna tell you what they were doing. A college kid called the cops because of noise. I was like 24, 25. So I was in grad school.

Studying for his masters. He needed some quiet. Dude, I'm not kidding. When I tell you, and anybody who's living in Denton knows, I'm not bullshitting you, they were doing backyard wrestling at like 1 a.m. They had like tables and speakers and, I do, dude, come on.

Is there no, at some point. I just thought you were cool, bro. I'm not. Maybe if I was before, I'm not now. Joy Taylor. It's time for Cool Not Cooling. I'm voting not cool, man. It wasn't cool.

I didn't say it was cool. Nobody said it was cool. Do you know who Joy Taylor is, Sarah? Anya Joy Taylor, the actress? No, Joy Taylor is a TV sports television talk show host. No. Fellow milkshed haver, I would say. People would probably say.

What? You're not aware that people have named your boobs? What? Oh, yeah. She's got to know about this. What is happening? There's been a clear shift in the less Sarah Heppela. Oh, my god.

There's now a, uh. How did this happen? There's a lot of less Sarah Heppala. Oh my god. There's now a... How did this happen? There's a lot of pro Sarah Heppala. She makes some really good points. I don't think she'd be able to play girl sports either. It's insane. Some dude had emailed us and said, something about Sarah Heppala and her absolute milksheds.

What's that word? What's that word? What's that word? I think it has to do with juggage. There's nobody making eye contact with me. Thank you, Jake. Everybody was looking away. Yeah, no. Everybody was looking away. If I look over at you, I'm gonna have to start

looking at your boobs. The thing earlier about, and I will get good at math and stuff, I can't. So, Joey Taylor hosted a show, several shows, at Fox Sports One. This was a topic a couple of weeks ago because there was a hairdresser at Fox Sports 1 who sued Fox Sports 1, claiming harassment.

She was Skip Bayless's hairdresser. Oh, god. She had worked with Shannon Sharp. Fox Sports 1 was kind of known, or Fox in general, at that level. I almost said Fox in general, but I want to be clear, not here. Yeah. It kind of had like a horny vibe.

Sure, what years are these? The like 2011 to 12 on. It's, yeah, it's a mess. So she, this lady who is also Joy Taylor's hairstylist, Joy Taylor, very attractive woman, who often speaks about kind of having boy toys, like how she likes to flip the script a little bit. Interesting.

Yeah. How old is she? I bet she's. Mid-30s? Mid-30s, yeah. She started, she was a bartender in Miami, and then worked her way into local sports, talk radio. She's 38.

So this all went down a couple of months ago, and Skip was of course already gone. Jamie Dixon, the head of FS1, I believe stepped down recently, or was fired. And now, Joy Taylor has been let go from FS1 from all three of her shows. Whoa. Speak, that's the show Irvin was on, that is off. Breakfast Ball and The Facility were her other shows.

She was wrapped up in this lawsuit because the hairdresser in question would tell her, Joy Taylor, like hey, the boss is sexually harassing me, Skip Bayless is kinda sexually assaulting me, and Joy Taylor, in her boss bitch mode, was like, get over it, that's how it is, tough shit. I'm hooking up with them, and as soon as,

this is the part that really got people mad at her, allegedly she said like, yeah, I'm just using him too, if they try to fire me, it's me too time. Wow. So that's what she said, like, yeah, I'm just using him too. If they try to fire me, it's me too time. Wow. So that's what she said, allegedly, but not allegedly, this is what Jason Whitlock, who used to work at Fox Sports One, had to say when she was fired.

How does she get that job? How does she even get that opportunity? It wasn't when she was fired, it was a couple months ago. How does she get that job? How does she even get that opportunity? It wasn't when she was fired, it was a couple months ago. How does she get that job? How does she even get that opportunity? Because she's got a big pair of cans and she's according to Sheen, according to she's willing to let people enjoy

those big cans of hers. You know what I'm capable of. He's just on his talk show. big cans of hers. Know what I'm capable of. He's just on his talk show. Yeah, we know why it's because her tits are huge and you can play with them. And we're just speaking brass tacks here. But he's not done. I know what I'm capable of.

Me, Whitlock. And that big rack of hers that she showed off constantly. It's just, and that peanut butter skin with that big wrap like Jay, keep your distance. I'm sorry. It's bad at it. But yeah, maybe boys do need to settle down. That's fascinating. I mean, can I just unpack that for just a second? It is so fascinating to me because first of all, and he's almost like getting mad at her for having boobs, and he's like,

and just keeps showing them, and it's like, does she have a choice? One of the things I learned about having big boobs was that it was a secret about my body that I couldn't keep. Listen, put Joy Taylor in a burka, and I can still get an artisanal beat off, I promise you.

I'm just telling you, it's not, this is something that you don't get a choice about. It's like, you know, obviously there are some people that do get surgeries or whatnot, but like that is so interesting. And then the weird thing on her peanut butter skin, which sounds so beautiful. Well, she is.

He's saying he knows what he's capable of if you combine that delectable peanut butter skin. With big gums, yeah. Yeah, and then we got problems on the horizon. It's too much, it's not his fault. Put him away. She's gonna have all that? So she responded to that like hot people do

by posting like an extremely hot workout video like from that day where she's just like in the ocean or somewhere where people with money are Which is totally unbothered right the real unbothered is you just disappear Yeah, can I ask you guys is she a good? Broadcaster yeah, and it pains me to say it because some of them are not and some of them that are clearly are. She keeps the flow going. But it's also like those shows don't really need to exist. I don't think, I don't know how they make,

I guess they probably at least break even. But she's probably making too much money to be doing a show that probably gets beaten by like Family Feud to be honest. This story has been dormant for a while, but Robert Roberson, Oh. the convicted murderer on Texas death row,

he was convicted of killing his two year old daughter back in 2003. But a lot of the science that was used in the shaken baby syndrome conviction is now thought to be junk science. So there is a hearing, I think it's happening right now. So wait, is there something that's back? We can shake our babies again?

We're listing things that are back there. Do you have any entries? Any injuries? Entries, into like, let's say last year, just stuff that we're like, OK. The R slur. R slur for sure. Gay, you could certainly go gay.

I still wouldn't do R for the most part, but he thinks dodgeball, like we'll bring back elimination games and PE. That's predicting what could be back. That's good. Yeah. I didn't know Dodgeball went away. Oh, we eliminated elimination games.

And concussions, we got super welcome back concussions. I honestly don't think you should be able to vote unless you've had two. I guess a male, right? Anyway, so yes, this hearing is taking place now. This was a weird one, man, because he was, if you recall, set to die, and then various members of the Texas legislature

sort of in a novel, legal way got involved. Like, it was unprecedented, and it appears that his life hangs in their hands at this time, Dan. You know what, what? I was gonna say, should we do book talk here or no? Let's keep going. Have you guys seen the chatter,

I know Sarah has, online regarding the new, I think he's the CEO of Red Lobster. Oh yeah, it was great. Yeah. I'm so into this, Red Lobster is back. Apparently it might be back. Red Lobster's back. They're trying to, Red Lobster is back. Apparently it might be back. Red Lobster's back. They're trying to bring Red Lobster back.

So they hired a young, like, whiz kid CEO, black dude who grew up going to Red Lobster for family meals and after church on Sunday. And I don't know who was running Red Lobster before, but this guy has a lot of interesting ideas and he's doing interviews and podcasts and the clip I heard is where he's like, just think about it.

We have the most resources, we have the best lobster. We buy the most lobster. We're not going to buy shitty lobster. We can buy the best. He's like, so people don't know this, but the quality of lobster you get at Red Lobster is better or the same as what you get at very nice restaurants.

And I think people like fact checked that and it's generally true. It's just they have a perception problem. And a pricing problem. I think it got too expensive. So they're trying to rebrand all this. Perception for sure, cause I would have thought red lobster

is the fast food of lobster. Like if I was gonna eat a steakhouse or red lobster, you'd go to steakhouse. Am I mixing up companies or, I remember when one of these things filed for bankruptcy a while ago, it was pointed to the fact that private equity bought them and then sold all the property that they were on. Toys R Us might have been. Is that Toys R Us?

No, you're mixing up Red Lobster and Toys R Us. Am I? No, hold on. No, I don't know. He may be right, but I'm just talking. Whatever restaurant chain, I think it was a restaurant chain though. It's not TGI Fridays. But they, somebody came in and bought them. Yes, you're correct. It was private. It was Red Lobster. Okay, and then what they did was, since they owned all of the restaurants and the property, they sold the property to another, some other company, maybe that they even had their hands in. And then now they would have to pay rent. And it was just a big scheme type thing. And they knew they would bleed it dry in the end, but

it was all going to make them tons of money. Because then they could sell that property, then blah, blah, blah, and sell all the stuff. Yeah, it's genius here. It's, yeah, the lease back. It says, buy companies, load them with debt to finance the purchases, hope to sell them at a profit in a few years to someone else. It's a common form of asset stripping.

Knowing that Red Lobster will go out of business in the end. And I do remember this story because, like with anything, like with the McDonald's coffee lady, you know, in my home growing up, it was like, uh, woke, not woke, but, you know, sue anybody over anything, got a little coffee on her, grubby. And she had her vagina burned off. Right. It was like a borderline lethal injury. When this story came out at first, it was-

Endless shrimp. Endless shrimp. That's what I was gonna say. Endless shrimp was blamed. And they lost some million on that, but they didn't lose their ass because- And the biscuits too, right? No, they're good, but that's again not why. So now we have a story of Dave and Busters

has hired a former KFC president. I feel like I could save Dave and Buster's Oh, it's still cool. I went okay long ago Okay, it's so fun. It's but it's so expensive. You can't get out of there for under like a hundred dollars Well on the games alone Yeah, that's a tough pill to swallow when you're sober. It is not you see I'm not used to seeing tickets like that anymore. Yeah, it's too bad. I love Dave and Busters. I really do too.

The concept of it. It's fun. How are those places doing that were like Baracadia? Like that was really popular when I was in my day. Good question and I don't know, I live over on Henderson. It used to be, it used to be be like have huge lines. Yeah Came back for a minute seemingly And then finally a new bill filed this week in Texas

Aims to regulate access aims to regulate access to certain public spaces and facilities in Texas based on biological sex. We're talking the bathrooms are back guys. We got a new bathroom bill here. The Women's Privacy Act was filed in this special session. We're never gonna let this go, are we? Just every couple years, we're gonna reaffirm that you're supposed to piss in a certain place.

Where do the furries go, though? Litter box. Yeah, the litter box, which is in the school. We just need gender neutral bathrooms, like in the malls they have like family bathrooms, you know, or like changing bathrooms. Do you know who you're talking to? No.

Are you talking about a guy who is not a healthy member of society, who takes more than he gives, but Dan's no stranger to the family bathroom. You use the family bathroom? All the time, it's so big. It's so big. I've used a family bathroom.

Yeah, it's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just bad when you walk out and there's a literal family waiting. A baby in a wheelchair. Which happened to me. It wasn't a baby in a wheelchair, but it did happen to me.

Recently at the airport, because especially the airport's disgusting, those bathrooms, so I'm gonna go in the family one. There's nothing wrong with the airport. I got my suitcase, I got my backpack, I need some space. Especially the airport's disgusting, those bathrooms. So I'm gonna go in the family one. There's nothing wrong with the airport. I got my suitcase, I got my backpack, I need some space, I need a little time. God.

And yes, walked out, guy holding baby, lady with baby in stroller. They've been waiting for 15 minutes. Just build those alternate bathrooms. If you have a problem, just go wait in line. It's just, let's stop fighting about this. I could be reading this incorrectly, but I believe that as applied,

this amendment or whatever this is, an item in a special session, you're not gonna have gender neutral bathrooms in Texas anymore. No, I suppose you wouldn't at businesses, but state agencies will have to restrict access to restrooms, locker rooms, all of it on biological sex, public schools, government buildings,

correctional facilities, women only shelters or to individuals whose biological sex is females, and penalize public entities that fail to comply. But you're talking about any shared spaces. You can have a one bathroom that is just gender neutral, meaning anybody goes in and out. But you can't have the Ally McBeal type situation. Correct.

Which is always shocking to me. They have a number of them in like restaurants where you come out, like I'll go in thinking I'm in a bathroom with women and then I come out and there's some dude at the sink. Yeah, around here. What is happening? Dallas? It does kind of shock me. Yeah. Yeah. My neighbor married his dog. What? And toast right after that, right after divorcing his toast.

She, she got it. She took him to the cleaners. You know, it's going to happen. Eventually, somebody's going to lose their ass in a divorce to clawed GPT. That could happen. Oh my god, the AIs. Oh my gosh, that whole thing is so crazy. I tell you. It's so crazy, I tell you.

Do we have anything here, Dan, before what happened today? Let's take a look. I was gonna say today's, today in history or on this day, let's say it's brought to us by Game Day Men's Health, who they have sponsored our studio. They have. It is the Game Day Men's Health Studio. You heard all about it earlier.

And if you just mentioned the dumb zone when you go to Game Day Men's Health, 10% off your TRT for life. Life, Sarah, it doesn't make any sense. Never. Because they're trying to help you live longer. This is gonna really hurt them in the end. But they care about you.

How is that a good deal for Frito-Lay? It's true. They care about you. So hard. Can you not find the opening? Oh. The keys to muscles and wealth.alth, it's game day, let's help! The Dumb Zone presents, Today in History.

Did you guys meet? This is our friend Grady. Grady Spencer, he's in a band. I think we, I saw her around the event. The DZE. GSE. GSE, sorry. Yeah, Sarah. Oh. Came out to the Dumb Zone Generic Summer Event.

I liked when he sang the jingle. Yeah. That was amazing. Thank you. Yeah. Beth, who manages our Discord, Amaya Blake says that this is her alarm. It is available to anyone.

Did people tell you they use this? No. Who did that? Beth says this is her alarm. That's sweet. Have you ever known music alarm guy or roommate? I'm talking about the quickest way to hate a song. I was about to say it ruins the song.

I did it for a while, and then it really ruins the song. Well, I had a thing. It's a beautiful morning. When my daughter was like two or three, she made some ghost sound, like witch goat. It was like, woo. It was real cute. So I'm like, I, it was real cute.

And so I'm like, I'm gonna make this my ringtone. So I made it my ringtone, but just for when my wife called. And then I came to not like the, like it ruined my daughter's cute thing, cause I'm like, God, there's gonna be a beating on the end of this call. I don't know what.

Association. Right, so don't do that. Yeah, and truthfully, there's not a good outcome here. Because if your wife were calling you and she's like, oh yeah, big boy, got it ready for you, you don't want your daughter. Right, have led me to that. Either.

No, it's a bad enough myth. That's what women often call and say to me. And I've heard someone say this before, but I totally relate. If you are dabbling in a little porn, you ever do that? A little bit. Yeah?

But you don't have this problem. When you close it out in shame, and think that I'm not worthy of any living at all, why do I do this? I'm a disgusting thing. Sure. And when you close it, and then you just see the picture of your kids

that are your screen. You know. Hey buddy. Hey listen. So rough. I got damn. My background is trees that came on the computer. That sounded incorrect.

Speaking of came on the computer. That's incorrect. Speaking of came on the computer. That's why you wouldn't put your kid's name on your wrist. I thought about it, but I also wrote it on there one time. You don't think I did this? I wrote it on there and executed it. It was like, it's not in the way. Oh my God. It's not in the way.

Right hand's not a problem. That's why Shoddy has grit right here. I found out, we think we have an image where it is. We think shoddy has grit like in the, what would you call this part, in between your finger and pointer. The taint. That little taint. The crevice.

The web. Yeah. So I think that's where mine's gonna be. Hi Dan, Wednesday is my Rolando McLean birthday. I'd love for you to put the spotlight squarely on me. Thank you. 55. Love Ty Walker.

Whoa. All right. P. 55. Love, Ty Walker. Whoa. All right. P.S. Wednesday is also the birthday of Regina Blue. She is a porn star starring in such movies as Ass Eating Lesbians 4, Mom and Dad are F-ing My Friends 6. That's tough. And your dad's cock is huge, 23. I don't like that. I don't like when they put a vulgar term.

Dear Uncle Titty Honker, today is my 33rd birthday, but I don't have time for bits. This email would be longer than Run the Ball Guy will like, but I hit the Venmo accordingly to make it worth it. OK. You can stay. They're charging people to read their birthdays. No that's very smart. Thank you. I found a way finally to offer my expert services to the dumb zone on February 1st in the darkness of night Nico Burkharhards traded our hero to LA. I immediately texted my mom a die-hard

Mavs fan and Anthony Davis hater to break the news. Ever since that fateful day it's been tossed around on this show that the Luca trade felt like a family member dying. Well let me tell you, the next day mom went to the hospital. She went on a ventilator for 10 days, eventually passed away February 11th. So I'm here to tell you guys as a die-hard Mavs fan with second row seats behind the Mavs bench, whose wife said he cried more at Dirk's last game than at their own wedding, the Luca trade is eerily similar in feeling

to losing a family member. Okay, he's safe. He didn't say worse. I thank you boys for helping me heal through this process. All three of you are heroes. From Brandon Bolan, PS, I will wear my Dwight Powell jersey at every game next year as a protest.

Heck yeah. That actually could, if you think about it, make you really sad. Like she was a huge Mavs fan and hated Anthony Davis and died soon after. Yeah. That's, you don't want that. No, otherwise it'd be awesome

that your mom died right then, dude. Honestly? You know. And Jamison writes, quite fortuitous that today in a year that Chris Pontius' birthday falls on a business Wednesday, you guys are doing an epi. Hell yeah. Of the wild boys, of Jackass, of Party Boy. There's a Hall of Fame Jackass, of Party Boy.

There's a Hall of Fame Jackass character right there. Chris Pontius? Yeah, Wild Boy. Party Boy. When they did Cribs, he was obviously not raking it in, like Bam Margera and Johnny Knoxville, and they filmed it where he was living, which was the back of his like 98 Toyota Tacoma truck. He just filmed the cribs. He was homeless.

Wow. That was inspirational to me. Uh, some on this day, Wednesday, July 16th is today. The first ever automated parking meter was installed in Oklahoma City in 1935, which should not be celebrated. Why there? Like, of all, like, you wouldn't even think they'd have parking problems. Right.

But they're poor. I guess, yeah. So they need- So the city needed money. Ah. But we shouldn't celebrate automated parking meters, man. No. That's bad.

That's the man. That's like, hey, this space. This land is our land. This land is your land. I'm parked illegally right now. I flunked full Blake down here. You're probably fine. I paid $10 to park.

You have to pay $10. I'll show you where to park from now on. There's a parking for six. And if you want to ride the Lightning... I am. Yeah, Blake just... I got a ticket for $50, but I had parked for free well over that amount of in value. Yeah.

Well over. And they don't tow you. On this day in 1985, Lou Whitaker from the Detroit Tigers went to the All-Star game but he forgot to bring his uniform so they had to get him a vendor bought Tigers uniform with the number one stenciled on the back. That's very baseball. This is the day in 1999 that John F Kennedy Jr. and a bunch of other people that nobody cares really about died. On gay head. He was piloting the plane himself because he's like, yeah, I got it.

But Kennedy, nothing happens. They're making a TV show about that. About? JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bassett, his wife. How does it end? What do you think? Pfft. On this day in...

Wait, did you say 89? Ah! Excuse me. 1999. Okay, sorry. I might've said 89 though. That was a big sneeze. Thank you.

In 2004, Martha Stewart sentenced to five months in prison and then five months of home confinement. God, I love her. She is interesting and has aged incredibly well. Conjugal visits. You know what? That's something I think you should look into. Conjugal visits are so fascinating. What do you know about them? Because I knew nothing. I just listened to a podcast recently where they're,

I thought they were kind of an urban legend maybe? Correct. That's what I thought. And they're not. No. Yeah, this guy, we met a guy. Yeah, we met a guy who did like two years. And he's like, he didn't have family or a wife at the time.

But he's like, if you've been there a year, you have good behavior, they'll bring in maybe like a portable basically, like a mobile home almost off premises, and you get 48 hours to just bone and eat KFC. Like your family can come in and they would get 36 or 48 hours, especially like over a holiday,

they got more time and they don't bother you, he said. There's also, I was just, I'm listening to a Ted Bundy audiobook, which is super good. Ted Bundy's story's fascinating. And at one point he's in prison and the guys all throw $5 in each week. And then they basically pull a name and whoever wins, they give that money to the guard and then you get a night

with your honey. Huh. Interesting. Yeah. Dude, look, even in jail Bundy's just being bros. And on this day in 2009, this relates to a guy we had in earlier this week. In an embarrassing acknowledgement, NASA admitted that in all likelihood it had recorded over the original videotapes of the Apollo 11

moon landing. No way. Is this true? We had a guy who worked for, like does Netflix, filmed the Jerry show, the documentary coming out, and he was great. And then he was like, also the moon landing's fake. And it really, really got the people going. Yeah. And one famous wedding for you guys on this date in 1994, it was true love. Anna Nicole Smith marries billionaire Jay Howard Marshall. For sure. Have you watched the documentary about her on Netflix?

Was it the Playboy video? Oh my God. That I wore out? There was like a Playboy VHS video. Wore out. That young Dan got a hold of? Her Guess jeans like era? Yeah. I don't think there's anybody hotter in the 21st century.

A lot of dead socks from the guest jeans thing. That documentary is so good and interesting and it portrays that relationship in a way that you actually think they have a unique connection and really, if not, love each other. See, this is the thing that always comes up in the talk about sugar babies, sugar. So everybody knows they have daddy issues.

Exactly. So then people are like, but they don't like, I don't know what she sees in him. She sees somebody who can be your dad. Take care of you and nurture you and buy you your princess stuff that your dad couldn't. There's obviously a connection psychologically. I can do all that.

OK, so. This guy's like, check, check. She has daddy issues to the max and then she finally gets reunited with her father and her father like wants to bang. He tries to bang her. Yeah that TCC's done a report on this. It's so shocking and heartbreaking. He's hammered like obviously mmm So you know It's a little bar Other birthdays today. We have former cowboy Blake Jarwin 31 Oklahoma State yep, where's he now not in the league but alive Jimmy Johnson, 82.

82? Extends. Didn't he just retire from the set? Is that right? Am I the only one who's heard that? I don't know. Former cowboy Aaron Glenn, 53. I fear them.

The Jets? Yeah, I mean, just from a, like, I think, you know, if they could, I think he's a good coach. And they don't, they're still in the market for a quarterback. Got to be leery of the team that's in the middle with a middle quarterback. For sure. This year, for sure.

Like, that's why I'm wondering, why did the Giants? It's insane, but I don't wanna deal with the Jets if they're good, because if they win seven games, everybody comes everywhere and it's annoying. And Sleeping Giant. Just with Arch looming out there, they say this year's quarterback class overall is much better than last year.

Dude. You would think you'd wanna be tanking this year. Write this down. Have you guys read about the dude in Cincinnati who's going to maybe, I think this has been debunked, but they picked a kid from A&M. And it's like, some reports, he's just going to go back. Like, I don't want to go to the Bengals.

I don't want to report. I'm not going to sign a contract. Yeah, their first round pick. Yeah. Wow. Why wouldn't you want to go to the Bengals? I mean, nobody's ever. Which is contract. Yeah, they're first round pick. Yeah. Wow. Why wouldn't you wanna go to the Bengals? I mean, nobody's ever. Because they're cheap?

Yeah, I guess. And like, because of NIL. Ah. There's so much money in college now that you can. Can you just go back? I had never read up on the mechanics behind that, but I think it's a lot to do about nothing, but there are a lot more guys this time around who either didn't sign

or waited to sign until later. They make money in college now. For our OnlyFans, or whatever. Claude Lemieux is 60. Oh wow, I forgot about that. Biggest thighs I've ever seen. I think you've told me that before. I love a good big thigh.

A normal person, not, you know, he wasn't like my 800 pound wedding or whatever the hell they have. Uh, Barry Sanders is 57. Better than Emmett? Call us. Let's check the chat. Emmett or Barry All right, so you make a poll Gareth Bale is 60 or excuse me 36. He's soccer man Yeah, I remember laughing so hard the first time I heard that name. It's just like what what's the name Gareth Bale? Just seemed like the most British name I'd ever heard in my life that in Who's the the actor?

Rupert Everett? No, Cumberbatch. Oh, Benedict Cumberbatch. That's the most British name. Although Rupert, that's pretty good too. Michael Flatley is 67. Lord of the dance. The Lord of the dance.

There was actually a time when that guy was like the biggest thing ever. God, dude, I love like our little cultural blips like that. And like 100% there were like suburban moms that are like, yeah, I'm taking Irish dancing. What's that? That happens. It happens.

I love it. And they were all hot for Michael Flatley and he would wear his shirt open to his navel. Yeah, and it's all ruffled. Phoebe Cates, 62. Oh, Phoebe Cates. It's a great Phoenix TX song. She was definitely in that area.

Fast Times came out before I was old enough to see Fast Times. And a buddy's house had cable and they didn't subscribe to HBO, but you could occasionally watch it and just see something pop through. Sure. And we would wait just to see if we can get some Phoebe Cates. Like even I, like I have a very specific memory of the moment Phoebe Cates gets out of the pool and unlatches her bikini top and opens it. They did kind of a parody of that in Stranger Things with Billy who's really hot.

That's very, very creative. How did they come up with that deep cut riff? These guys just love shitting on things that they don't really know anything about. And I like to feed it. Because it just shows their ignorance and it shows that I'm a little more high brow than anybody in this room. We used to do this show where it was like him and another guy and I was like the third guy. And that other guy's name was Bob. I know Bob's term. If you didn't like something that he liked,

it wasn't that you possibly had your own opinion. It was simply you didn't get it. Right. You're not smart. You know what I mean? Yeah. And he, for some reason, always on my side, is now turning into, it just must be the power chair.

If you just don't understand my level of... Dude, I get it. There was Blockbuster. There were fucking malls. Remember it? Here's a show about it. Now you sound like him who left for the eclipse. Because it was just the sun, whatever. I mean... Just our countries...

Anybody go outside last night to see the moon and pass by Neptune? Needle in our arm for anything from 20 years ago when you were a kid, it's like, God, we need it. Please show me a blockbuster. I mean, 10 years from now, he's going to be doing this about a Nintendo show. Show me back when black people didn't complain.

Oh my God. I want it to go back. Absolutely. Will Ferrell go back. Absolutely. Will Ferrell. A simpler time. Will Ferrell. A better time, 58. Corey Feldman, 54.

Kim Spinn. One of the Corys. I'm pretty sure. The surviving Corey. The living Corey. The alive Corey. Did Sheen rape him or the other one? The other one the other one

But they both kind of talked about their stuff together. So I'm not We're not we're not out of turn. Okay. Yeah, Larry Sanger is 57 The co-founder of Wikipedia sure he's probably yelling at you to that's why I donate $2.75. Yeah They go we odd number that they choose for that. Yeah. And our runner up in Dumb Zone birthday of the day is Billy Mitchell. He is 60, he is from King of Kong.

If you remember that documentary about video games. Great, great. Very, very good. And our birthday of the day here on the dumb zone is Jessie Jane. She is a porn star from Fort Worth. Oh. Isn't that nice?

Isn't it interesting that they're always porn stars? That's right, not a porn supporting actress. Yeah. Born on this day now dead, Shoeless Joe Jackson, he is today's war leader, with 62.2, and Orville Redenbacher. You pop him like I pop him, Blake. Orville Redenbacher. Dead on this day, still dead,

Alaska Davidson, America's first female FBI agent. Damn, that rips. Her name was Alaska Davidson? Yeah. Wow. You're the baddest woman ever. How can you be a female, female body inspector? Blow me up, dude. Yeah, bro.

Heck yeah, FBI? I don't know. I recently went to Spencer. I gotta learn more about this. Oh! They still have that T- Spencer. I gotta learn more about this. They still have that t-shirt. Oh my God. The email bought in.

You didn't get it? Why don't I own that? What's wrong with me? Come on. The thing is though, I like the concept of funny t-shirt guy. I don't wanna be wearing that out. Yeah.

I'd wear it to the summer event. You guys know how you never had a chance. Do you ever look at Wikipedia pages and even like people in the media and I'm like, oh, I feel like I got it. Like maybe comparable talent to that guy. And you're like, oh no, he grew up in Brooklyn. His parents were investment bankers.

They went to Syracuse. He went to this, he went to that. So I looked up our friend, Alaska. Davidson. Alaska P. Davidson. And impressive in her own right, but she has two brothers. Their names, James Ward and William Dowd Packard.

Yeah, it's the Packard you think it is. It's the Packard Electrical Company, which it's the Packard Motor Car Company. We're gonna donate money. There's like 12 effing people who started the country and all of them are all the people who still run everything. Give up.

Says the guy who hosts the very successful podcast sponsored by Game Day. Here, let me put it to you like this. Give up on being one of them. Be trash. Get a grit tattooed on your hand. Be from H this. Give up on being one of them. Be trash. Get a grit tattooed on your hand. Be from Haltem.

For sure. Fuck those people. For sure. Also died on this day, we have Bismarck E. Oh. Interesting. Who called up his girlfriend and guy answered, right? Is that what happened in Just a Friend?

I can't remember. You guys know it, don't know it? Yeah. Hey, I got what I'm doing, but she says she's just a friend. And you say she's just a friend. All right. That's like a classic jam.

Sounds sauced. You sounded like you were drunk then. Does he? And is that what you would, yes, back in the day. No, no, no, but she's saying Bismarck, he sounds... Yeah. He's trying to say... Oh, he sounds soft. He's all like on cough syrup or something. I just thought perhaps in your drinking days this might have been one like, hey it's time for karaoke, Sarah. No, that was total eclipse of the heart. Okay. And I killed it.

You have like a raspy voice, kind of like Bonnie Tyler. Yeah, and I'm an old drama, I'm like a drama kid. And died on this day one year ago today, Joe Bryant, who has powerful sperm, right? The father of Kobe. Oh wow. A sperm wants to have sex whether you want to or not. The father of Kobe. Oh, wow. A sperm wants to have sex whether you want to or not. We don't know that Joe raped any of you. No, I'm saying his sperm did.

His sperm. By way of, yeah, yeah. Like that sperm wasn't saying no to that egg. Oh my God. Or egg. So anyways. One thing from our show on this day. Oh, I forgot that. We got this bit, yeah. Should we do that to lead off? I'm't. Anyways. One thing from our show on this day. Oh, I forgot that.

We got this bit, yeah. Should we do that to lead off? I'm sorry. Over the summer of 2020 was the time to try to throw out ideas to fix sports. And I don't remember who tweeted this. I couldn't find it. But somebody said, in order to speed up hockey games,

they need to put turbo on the Zamboni's. We did like an hour on that. Yes. Some guy thought that the reason that hockey games take so long is because the Zamboni doesn't drive faster. He's like, take a cut eight minutes out of these intermission. Like I think you have the equation backwards. I don't think they.

But it was somebody. I don't think the speed of the Zamboni is... Was it like a Senator? It was not... No, legitimately. It was not some guy. It was a guy in Texas who was in the government, and everybody was throwing out ideas for sports,

and that was one of it. I need to make musical chairs quicker, the on ice bit. And then they found the picture where it's the same fish being caught in the bubble. Every NBA player was catching being caught in the bubble. Oh, every NBA player was catching one fish at Disney World.

The same exact fish. Well, closing remarks are with Sarah. Hi. And- Sarah Heppler from the Dallas Morning News. You can present the piece if you'd like, or you can just tell us what's going on. You're writing a book?

Yeah, it's cool because I've been writing a book for like six years and it just got accepted. So it's actually gonna happen. So there's gonna be an actual book coming out in I think fall of 26. Hell yeah. So I'm gonna blow that shit up on dumb zone. So you were, I would think someone

who has been a bestseller would be able to like ahead of time, pay me some money and I'll start writing this book. Sure. You get an advance. But you know, that dissolves over six years. Okay. So that did happen to you. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. You get paid in four installments. Even in your first book too?

Yeah, in my first book. You were well known enough? No, but it went to auction. Cause it was like a good idea. Option, that's a word I wanna use one day. How does that work? You have a good agent and then you have a powerful idea and basically you get a bunch of women

all run the publishing industry, you know? I did not. Yeah, they are all the ones that are the buyers. Once again, white men getting shut out of everything. Well, not as relevant to this story about that Jake and I are gonna talk about, or you too, but and Blake and Grady, everyone. Anyway. Yes, us.

The show. Yes. The point is that they're the women are the gatekeepers in the publishing industry. And so if you send out a, basically it's like the first chapter of my book, which you remember. Do you remember how my book opens?

He's trying super hard to be good. And I would like you to respect him in return. I do respect him. I always keep a copy of Sarah Epple's blackout, remembering the things I drank. In case anything shows up in the middle of the show and Dan needs material. Yeah, so that you would.

So it was that chapter and an outline of the rest of the book. And then it basically, if more than one person wants to buy this, it goes to auction. And then when they bid on each other, against each other, that's how you run up the numbers to get good money. Love it. So that happened with my first book. It was like a really lucky draw. Like you just, I got lucky. And so you you got it auctioned before you were finished writing it yeah and then you have a year to write it okay and you had never written a book no but I was a

well known pretty well known yeah I wrote for salon.com at the time I was writing personal essays and they were doing really well you know I'd written for the New York Times magazine I'd written for Texas Monthly. You know, like I had some game. Is there a term linked on your IP? Like when you sell a book, they were talking about IP this week. Okay. Like let down the road what you put forth in this book,

if it got used on something 10 years down the road, do they own that or is that all yours? Oh, I think like if I were to, are you talking about optioning it? Like if somebody wanted, like I've talked to people about optioning it for like a Netflix series, for instance. So like that goes through me and then I have a film and TV agent. Nice.

So yeah, so I handle that. What happens if you write something and then it gets purchased at auction, you finish it, and then they don't want to publish it? So that might have, I thought that was gonna happen to me this time. Okay. So second book, sold it in 2018, went to auction, hot shit writer just had a best seller, whatever, then I turned in a draft, they didn't like it. I turned in a draft, they didn't like it. I turned in four drafts. What roughly spaced out from 2018 to where?

Like 2018, 20? Like basically about one every year. Okay. Because my first deadline was 2019. And so I made that, but then the next one was 2020, 2022, because the pandemic happens, it took two years. And then I did one draft and I don't even think they read it. They were just like, no.

Okay, and I'm sorry for getting into the minutia here, but this is very interesting. So how different a year later is the draft? Like it's the same idea. So I've realized that what was going on with my book was I was trying to tell too many stories at once. So what they kept telling me was, like it was the most mortifying,

I can't even tell you how hard this was, that my editor would be like, she'd read 350 pages and be like, okay, but what is this book about? And I was like, and the reason she was doing that is because the book is about so many different things at once. And I wasn't making choices.

One of the reasons I was doing that was because some of the chapters were really good. You always hear this phrase, kill your darlings. And it's kind of like an old cliche in writing, but it's so true. You get attached to certain scenes and ideas and you'll understand that they're not fitting. And so what you're doing,

a book is actually a really slim idea. And I kept being like, well, it's just a book about my life. And then once you make it, she's like, but it's not a book. And I'm like, but it'll be a book if you put it out. And she's like, but I don't know how to sell it if I can't say what it is.

And so I kept coming back to it, and I think one of the challenges about this one was that I was trying to write about my life as I was living it, whereas Blackout was about my drinking that was like five years in the past. Yeah, for sure. So I had metabolized the stories in Blackout in a way that with this one, which was called Unattached

and she wants to change it, I was living through it. And plus the culture was changing. I at one point was like, I'm gonna reframe this book as like about how we all need to get out into the world and travel more and connect. And then the pandemic- Go to Red Lobster. Go to Red Lobster.

And then the pandemic happened. And I was like, okay, I'm not doing that. You know, so it kept shape shifting. Then now 2025, you can put the Arsler back in. Oh yeah. Right, yeah. It's half Arsler's. Yeah. Yeah, we're back. We're so back y'all. Oh yeah, it's half arse-lers. Yeah, we're back, we're so back y'all.

So approved, that's where we are? She called me last week and said, you did it. That's incredible, okay. So it was significantly different than the last draft. But I really think the right, what she would always say is all the sentences are good, but they're not adding up. So what you have to do is basically crack the spine of it.

Did you have friends read it? Yes. I had a friend and this was crazy because I didn't even think, I mean, I love this woman, but she's an AP reporter and I was like, she's such a different writer than me. And I was like, she was like, I'll read it. And I was like, whatever, I'll take any help I can get any help. And but AP is so who, what, where, when that she was so awesome because she was like, get this chapter out, it has nothing to do with it, lose this, it's about this, this, and this, go.

And I was like, oh my God. Dude, I don't think the average person understands what an editor does, like especially a good one, because I turn my stuff in, this is the, I love, I could never write a book, but I love the puzzle pieces of a long article. Like you just have this thing laid out in front of you

and you're like, all right, if I spend three and a half hours on this, it will be done at the end. But then you turn it in, and since we're all doing this on shared docs now, I can watch him edit my copy in real time, and it's magic. I'm not really a good writer, right?

I have good ideas or good enough to sell, but when he does it, it's different. It's just different. You're a good thinker. And so what that person- You're an actual writer, so it's different. What that person's doing is helping you get out of your own way, and so that we can just,

as readers- But somehow it still sounds like me. That's the thing, is when he edits me, it sounds like me still. My voice, I just sound smarter. It's weird. He's boiling it down. You know My voice, I just sound smarter. It's weird. He's boiling it down. You know, he's boiling down the broth.

It's cool stuff. So he's making it more condensed. And you know, I was one of these, I got so lost. I just can't even tell you. Everybody that was reading it was like, it's really good, but you should make it shorter. And then somebody was like, you should make it longer. And then somebody was like, I like the first part.

And somebody was like, I like the second part. You basically have all these arrows pointing in different directions. So I had to have this friend that just said, this out, this out, this out. And then I spent the next six months waking up at 2.30 in the morning and writing from 2.30 to eight.

So you have a set time like that? You just wake up. We've texted at 3.30 in the morning. We do. But I mean, on purpose? Yeah, just wake up. We've texted at 3.30 in the morning before on purpose. But I mean, on purpose, did you say I have to work from this? No, I just started waking up. My adrenaline gets going, and then my cat gets basically used to this. That's not a euphemism, right?

You actually have to have a cat. My kitty. My kitty starts purring at about 2.30. God, she couldn't even get it out. It's not even, couldn't even execute it. Attempted loony tune sexiness. Okay, so they pay the four installments for this one. Cause you'll be interested in this.

So it's on signing, you get a quarter, on manuscript acceptance, not submission, acceptance, on hardback and on paperback. So you've received one. So I've received one quarter. Hell yeah. Let's go to Red Lobster. Oh, you guys.

We got three payments coming? You guys. I thought it was going to be a deal where you're right, you've already done it. That's the worst. Like, you've already been paid for it. We're all going to Red Lobster oh three payments coming you guys I thought it was gonna be a deal where you're right. You've already done it That's the worst like you've already been paid for it. We're all going to red lobster. Oh, yeah We're all their lobster is just as good if not better than they got boil bags now They do they did bring back the boil bag. I don't know if they ever had that We are gonna go to town on some biscuits and lobster. It's that a euphemism

I don't know. I'm a euphemism? It should be. I don't know, I'm hyper aware now. Either way, I'm excited. Well, that's awesome. And you can come on and promote whenever you'd like. I mean, you guys don't understand, I felt like such a failure and I had to, like people would ask me about the book all the time

and I had to do this thing of like, you know, I just don't know because I thought it was gonna get canceled. This was my final deadline. They told me, this is it. You don't have to pay the money back. Maybe you needed that pressure. Duh, did I?

I didn't know, I think I wasn't gonna have to pay the money back because I submitted five or four different manuscripts, but they have started going after, like for the longest time, there were these comically ridiculous stories of manuscripts that were 20 years over limit. But right at the economic crash in 2008,

they started chasing those people down. So if you didn't turn in a book, suddenly you owed Simon and Schuster $70,000. Or $50,000. And they started chasing people, and they published, like I don't know if they published it or Gawker published it, but there was definitely like a published list of all the people that were being gone after for books that weren't turned in.

You know, Skip Hollinsworth, who's one of my favorite writers here in Dallas. Sure. True Crime godfather. He sold a book in the 90s and couldn't write it and paid back his advance. Damn. Which I don't know anybody else that did that,

but then he was so haunted by it that he picked it up 20 or 30 years later and then that became The Midnight Assassin, which is the book that he put out a couple years ago about the guy that might have been Jack the Ripper here in Texas. I think my wife read that. It's really, I mean. She just skipped P1 for sure.

Skips a master. So I don't know if we have time for this now, because I think it could be a longer conversation, but she sent this, do you want to summarize it? The New York Times article? Well, the New York Times. Because I have thoughts. It's basically like men don't read novels anymore.

Why is that? And this is something that's been known for a long time, but a lot of the examples in this were interesting to me. It started with like a book club where these guys read novels. And it's so unusual that it's opening a New York Times story, you know? Because in my world, the girl world,

book clubs where women read fiction is so commonplace as to just be almost annoying. Like everybody's in book clubs. And so, and then it goes on to kind of explain how men, you know, it's known, when I sold Blackout, I remember telling the women in the room that I was selling to, men will buy this book because I drank like a man.

And they were like, oh, we don't care about men. And I was like, how can you not care about 50% of the population? Yeah, in our old job, it legit made sense because it didn't matter if women were listening. Like, it didn't matter. But with books, it's like, I don't know. But they, it's the same, it would be like

if I went in to sell a superhero movie and I was like, guys, the women are gonna love that. And they're like, we don't really care. We want to sell to the men. So with memoir in particular, which is a very female driven genre, it's written by women and it's bought by women and read by women.

They didn't care. And I thought this is so dunderheaded, so stupid. There's all these things that the publishing industry has done over the last 20 years to kind of make themselves more irrelevant. I think this is one of them. I don't see any reason why men wouldn't read fiction. It doesn't even, it makes no sense whatsoever, or read books, or even memoirs. You read my memoir. Yeah, Dan is still the literary man. Like he may not do much fiction currently,

but he will, like he's an Infant and Jest guy. He's, you know. So, and that's, you know, it's mentioned in this article of like what happened to the sort of plaintive man who just is reading a novel, right? That's just a thing. That used to be a thing. You could be a big, tough guy who just

is reading the works of- Prevalence of just- Well, there's a couple things. To me, it's busier. Yeah, so this- When I had more free time- This article- Yeah.

I just tend to, okay, I wanna do something that's not just staring at the phone and stuff. So this article, it is very interesting. I think it highlights like a cultural thing, but what it does a little bit of is it hand waves towards podcasts and the quote, manosphere of saying, well, is this where all of our men consumption time gone?

Is it gone to these crude podcasts of the Man-osphere? Are we one of those? Probably on the edge of it. But we also donate a lot of money to charity. I wanna be very clear about that. You guys told me that you were part of the Manosphere. We'd have to be men. That's why we're trying to hook up with game day,

turn to men. As more American men fill their hours with the crude talk shows of the Manosphere, online gaming, and addictive multiplayer games, the humble novel, consumed alone, requiring thought and patience, can look like a panacea. This is somewhat true, but there are a few things about it.

It also highlights that men prefer instructional books. History and big idea books. As opposed to fiction. And like practicality as opposed to escape. That's what I think of a little bit. The reason I've been choosing, I always get fiction and non-fiction. Non-fiction is the actual true, right?

Which always confused me since I was a little kid. The word non means that it is true. It shouldn't fake. But I think I can use this. I can use this on the show and that's what I want to talk about There's I'm not gonna rant about capitalism here but there is something to that in play here where I as a

and a dad of two kids the shit that is expected of me is The shit that is expected of me is, my dad or my stepdad or my father figures could never dream of. The amount of time and effort and care that I put, I mean, I'm blocking out. Like, I'll write down on a schedule, 445 to 545. Nothing but the kids. It's not because I had a bad dad or stepdad.

This is just not how the game works. No, it's culturally shifted. It's infinitely, like, my friends and I group text about it. We're like, you know, you see all these stats about how kids are just so depressed and so anxious, but we're all spending like 10 times more time with our kids than our dads ever did. You know what else I did?

I read a book about parenting instead of a book about a guy in the military who misses his wife. I read, you know what I did? I read a little spiritual book because I'm supposed to meditate, supposed to do breathing exercise, I'm supposed to exercise every day.

I'm supposed to work 55, there is no time to sit around and read a book. There's just no time. Well, audio books would be the answer to that, but podcasts have filled that space. So I listen to audio books when I'm multitasking, but men listen to podcasts. And the podcasts are super long,

so I don't see how people can say there's no time. Somebody's listening to Joe Rogan for three hours a day. And this podcast. And this show for two and a half hours a day, but I think in the past, we're doing some consumption overlap here, because also there's been a, people don't listen to talk radio anymore,

and that used to be something, people would listen to all three or four hours of Rush or Howard every single day. So then they, and still this is the time when somehow we were able to, there's more expected of parents now, there's more expected of employees now, there's more expected of everyone,

and then the cultural thing you're highlighting on, and I think it's why you wanted to do the article on me that you did, not because I'm spectacular, but because I'm willing to talk about it, there's a bias against men opening up or being vulnerable, and I think that's changing. But I also think the Manosphere thing, I think Joe Rogan overall probably

against like his own best. I think he's a bad actor, right? I don't think he's good for society, but there are a lot of people who learn a lot of things from listening to shows like that, that you're not going to hear anybody else talk about anywhere else. And some of that stuff, I think is good for people. Well, and by the way, he's one of the rare male readers because he's brought, he's singularly brought back books like Empire of the Summer Moon, which is an Essie Gwyn title I think, books like Chaos, which is about the Manson murders. Like he'll get into a book. I did not know that.

And he will put it back on the bestseller list, even though it came out 10 years ago. Well, that's cool. And I think, despite the fact that I think a guy's like out 10 years ago. Well that's cool, and I think, despite the fact that I think a guy's like, oh I voted for Bernie, and now I voted for Trump, I don't think he's like a politically intelligent person scaled to his influence, but I think people learn things

listening to shows, like it's not all dick jokes, right? There are people who would tell you, like I learned a lot about myself, you know, through Rogan, or any of those type of shows. Completely. There's also the fact that I don't know anybody who steps into any class about world politics on day one they're probably gonna be like what the fuck's going on with Israel and I don't know nobody was allowed to ask that question for the last 20 years that I've been paying attention and all of a sudden this Manosphere thing seems to have asked

like the sophomore question of what's happening here. NBC, ABC, CNN, the New York Times, and this article, nobody's gonna, I don't know, I don't think the Manospheres, you can tell it already is one of those things that you just put in an article and it's supposed to elicit like bad idiot drug. I don't know.

One of the bad assumptions of this article is that fiction is the best way to get information. Fiction is a superior form of- You're being talked down to a little bit. You're being talked down to. Yeah, and I felt that. And I actually think my podcast partner, Nancy, I do a podcast called Smoke a Miffy Got'em,

which is great, we do video now, which is wonderful. You can see the cans in- Sheds. I'm sorry, what are can see the cans in... Sheds. I'm sorry, what are they called? Absolute milk sheds. What's a milk shed? Well, it would be a place you'd store milk in like a big one, right?

That doesn't sound complimentary at all. Sounds like a dusty old... Hey, you... Listen. I didn't make it up. He didn't make it up, but also nobody's denying the trip to the milkshed. This is not like, you're like, oh, that's gross.

That's not gross, that sounds great, especially with absolute in the front of it. Okay. So you do video now. Nancy, great follow, by the way, too. Oh my God, amazing woman. She's very funny. Absolutely amazing woman, Nancy Rommelman.

So anyway, she had a really good thought on this, which is that maybe men are just more technologically advanced, it's a little more canary in the coal mine, we're all moving toward audio. You know, there's this end of or, and what's it called, Derek Thompson at the Atlantic wrote this story called. I Know Exist.

Ehh, he had a whole era, the era of orality, but basically it's saying we're gonna stop reading physical things. And so we wanna listen. Dude, the era of orality could mean so much and I love it all. You're outta yours. It's...

Get outta here. It's back, it's back, Dan. It's not, as far as what, delivering or receiving? I don't know, yeah. I mean, I know one of them is funny and the other one's not, as far as what, delivering or receiving? I mean I know one of them is funny, the other one's not, neither one are happening. The point is though, I mean, just all, even our job, you know, everything.

Yeah, and Dan would have a tough time with that because he thinks listening to books isn't reading. So, but I do agree with you, obviously. That's interesting, but that's, you're holding on to old ways. And I respect that. I'm a scribbler in the margins person. But it's just like stories used to be oral. Like they used to be oral traditions.

And then they got the printing press. And so it's just- Woke. Wait, what was woke? The printing press. Probably, I don't know. Seems like it. Seems like it.

Don't like it. Well, so anyway, I think she's making a really good point that actually guys are just going the way most of us are going to go, which is toward not reading physical books anymore, and that there's going to be the amount of storytelling that we get through our ears these days, and look at women's true crime obsession. I mean, it is out of control.

It's booming. And that is really replacing fiction. Yeah. And women don't really read, what's really disappearing is the literary, the approved literary echelon, the franzens and the, you know, one of the things I don't like about that story, although I think it might be true,

is that it kind of represents, it presents David Foster Wallace, who's my hero, my cat is named Wallace. It presents him as like the end, like the explosion at the end of the obnoxious white male writer train, you know? And that his, you know, acolytes became so annoying and pretentious that it basically imploded the whole idea

of men reading fiction, which is kind of absurd. And men read genre fiction still. So you ruined it, Dan? Well, I don't think I'm one of those people. I think I read it because of those people imploring me, like, you have to read this. This is a classic that's been written fairly recently, but yet it was, you know?

So I stared at it on my shelf for at least five years. I mean, it's daunting, the size of it. And then even reading it is daunting, where I'd have to go back and read the, what did I just read for four pages? I have to read that whole thing again just to see but I'm very happy I did it it took me a long long time I didn't like right when I was done I didn't know if it was that good and then but I think about it at like it's it's

well worth it I think in the long run it's brilliant I think Jake you might enjoy it because it really is the masterwork on addiction. It's really about the idea that America and capitalism and consumerism as an idea essentially sets you up for addiction. We're a nation of addicts, and the whole idea of it is that there is a television show so entertaining people won't start watching it.

And he writes that in the 90s, and then in 2007 the iPhone comes out. That's all I'm gonna say. Well. I bet that's not all you're gonna say. It's. That's what ladies just always say. That's all I'm saying, and then all of a sudden

they start saying some other things. Sounds entertaining, sounds like something I would enjoy, but I recently quit books. She did, he did. Yeah. For the rest of my life. Okay. He's claimed to have quit books. Why would you quit books for the rest of your life? Like why would. Yeah. For the rest of my life. Okay. He's claimed to have quit books.

Why would you quit books for the rest of your life? Like why would you do anything for the rest of your life? Because? It seems unnecessary. That sounds like that should be in your next book about. Alcohol? No. About you're not settling down with a man.

Yeah, why'd you quit for the rest of your life, huh? Isn't that your bit about men? I mean, who knows what could happen? I would love to be married. There's probably a day out there where you and I can handle our sauce, right? I quit for, yeah, no. That's not where I was going with that.

That's true, yeah. I am a one day at a timer though. But hey, did somebody ask me out on this show? Yeah, you told us about that. It happened, well, the two things happened. I know Chris. Chris is, we have a very tall listener. Yeah. Who is very taken by a very tall listener. Yeah.

Who is very taken by you and was hoping that I would schedule him. He was gonna sit in on the show one day and he just, he asked me, can you do it when Sarah's gonna be there one day? Yeah, and he said he hit you up on mine. He did, yeah. Yeah, he's a solid piece of ass, I think.

Would you give that a shot or no? Well, I'm not in- Are you in the dating world? Not in the dating world right now until my book gets filed in September. What a pro. What if Cupid's arrow just hit you? What if you- Well, then Cupid's arrow can hit one time

and leave in the morning. I mean, it's probably, right? I'm a lady. Even if my milkshed brings all the boys to the yard. Very nice. Sure? Sure. Milk shed.

I said that. Okay. You don't just want one of them though. Oh, oh yeah. I wanna play, you know, we're gonna mess around with can't just leave one off limits. That's a good point. Yeah.

But if you do the right. Interesting. My right or? Nevermind. Just double down on both. That's the mind scramble. I just got picked up by a guy at a 7-Eleven and he was cute and- He's got a Venmo gift card.

Hey babe. Name's A. His name's Angelo. He kept texting me and kept texting me. You gave your number to a dude at 7-Eleven? So here was the thing. That simple? Hold on.

He was so charming. And I said, let me give you my business card. And so I gave him my business card. And I forgot that I put my cell phone on my business card. You're a reporter. Of course your cell phone number's on there. Probably your signal chat or something. I forgot. OK, so how did he start the line?

Was he like, oh, I love corn nuts too. What like it was so weird. I've never hit on anyone Can we read his text? It was so interesting. So I passed him. I passed him and I started I got in my car and started to leave and he comes back out of the 7-Eleven and taps on my window and is like, hey, I just saw you and you're exactly my type and I just wanted to say hi. And I was like, hi.

And he was like, I'm Joseph. And I was like, okay. And he was like, there was this moment, because here's the thing, y'all, I was going to Target and I was a mess. My hair was a mess, I had this Vaseline crap in my face. What'd I tell you, Dan? I had this Vaseline crap on my face.

Always the sheds. That makes you, it keeps wrinkles out. But anyway, he goes, you have Vaseline on your face. Yeah. Do you mind if I get it off? And then just with the tenderest finger. He touched you. Reached over. What is happening?

This is not the world that I knew was out there. Had you given him your card previous to this? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're just talking. She's wet like cow's eye. I'm sitting in my car. He's standing at my door. This is insane. And I've rolled down my window.

You deserve whatever happens now. He's like, I'm like, what do you do? And he's like, I'm in real estate. And I'm like, okay. And then he tells me he's made. So vague. Oh, here's the other thing that I liked about him. He is not from Dallas and I go, where are you from?

And he's like, Queens. And I was like, I could have told you that. Like he had that New York swagger, which is a really nice, like I'm not saying that's my- Now how does this story end? What are we doing here? Where are you going? This is my fault, but I'm interested.

I'm interested too, but like, did you go out? No, because I'm telling you guys what happened, which is that I accidentally give him my phone number, he starts texting me, but like not annoyingly, like it's like gentle and tasteful. And I'm like, hey, look, I'm going to South Padre. I'm gonna be gone for a week. I'll, you know, if you, if in two weeks

you're still interested, I'll go to coffee with you. That's what I told him. Wow. Okay, so for two weeks, it's like tasteful, like, hey, thinking of you, or like, hey, would you like to come over and watch a movie at my place and drink some wine? And I said, well, I have two pieces of bad news. One, I can't.

Two, I don't drink. And he was like, oh, that's great. Good for you. And so then I said, look, I can't do anything until Friday. So let's have coffee on Friday. This is now more than two weeks since we've had this chance encounter, okay? Did you wipe the puss off of your forehead?

Oh no, I'm gonna show up with the Vaseline just so he recognizes me. I gotta have big crusty Vaseline. Maybe that's what is my type. I know. Is it the big boobs or could it be the shiny face? I gotta have big crusty Vaseline. Maybe that's what is my type It was so weird cuz cuz oh cuz he was like, um, he was like you're just my type You're all natural like your nails aren't done and I was like I literally just passed you How do you know that my nails are not done which they're not but how do I know that?

Yeah, some people are perceptive. Oh my. Yeah, they've been taking pictures for two months. God. So, Friday comes and I text him at seven in the morning and say, hey, I can meet at 11.30 at this place. And he types back, he writes back and says, oh my God, I'm working till 9.30, can we do it tomorrow?

And I go, oh yeah, no problem, it's better for me because I'm not working. The next day comes and I text him and say, Hey, what about one o'clock? And I never hear from him again. Wow. Maybe he got deported. That's really weird. Back to Queens. So why would a guy pursue you?

Because his wife found... Low key. Did this all, yeah, for weeks. Two weeks. And I'm not doing anything, right? I'm actually indifferent as to whether I see this guy because I'm not really in the dating zone and I don't care. But I'm just like, maybe responding.

Why would you do that? Yeah, I don't know. There's probably, it's probably like, he wanted, it was the thrill of the chase. I thought that for sure. With the guy who got outside, you're just like, I don't know, I just want to see if. Could have been wife though.

Could have been wife, yeah, that could be both. Yeah. He was. Wife found. Just trying to want to see if we can pull it off. I mean, you don't know, people don't look married or not married, but I mean, he was, I don't know. I don't know how. Well, he's Italian, they never look married.

Well, that's the, I think that's our key. And I mean this with love, because I love the Italians, and I love Italian men, but my god. They will go after what they want, and I think they have kind of ADD, where it's like out of- There's a world where that's racist. Well, no, but I said I love them.

Speaking of Sam Harris, But I love them. Let's question the IQ of various racists No, no, no, no, no, no, no. across the spectrum here. It's not about their intelligence at all. It's about attraction for them as a scent in the air, and then all of a sudden the scent's gone.

No, no, yeah, I'm not like that. So all this to say our listener Chris, out of luck right now. Well, here's the thing. Let him come to Red Lobster. If we do a Red Lobster celebration which we're going to do when my check comes in Chris is totally invited. There it is. That's a date. I call that a date. I call that a lie. I just can't ever see this actually happening. 100% this is happening. You think?

Yes. So here's the thing, Chris is such a cool dude. I know. And he was on the show and I watched some of it, but I mostly learned about how cool Blake is, which was great. I love, you know I love Blake and he's underrated. God.

You don't need to tell him this. If somebody tells, if every single person who talks to somebody calls him underrated, how are they still underrated? He just got hired as the producer for Cowboys, the National Radio Network. But did you realize that I learned what a badass athlete he was?

I didn't know that. I'm just saying, though, Jake is right. That's all they ever say is how underrated Blake is. Maybe that's how highly rated he is. Have you thought that? That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And then now he's going to ask for like another raise.

Well, it was cool to get to know Blake. That's what I'm saying. I'd like to. Because we love him. Yeah. He won't invite us to his house. All right. Well, he's better friends with Chris

than he is with us. I guarantee you that. But anyway, yeah, Chris introduced himself to me at the Demzone Experience thing. It has been a lot of fun. What? Jake's saying goodbye. Adios, mofo.

We got to go before this week comes to an end. Yeah, I guess somebody had to go to the bathroom. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video. What does Blake do? What does Blake do? What does Blake do? What would you say? You do here.

What would you say you do here? What would you say you do here? What is Blake do?