The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 8-26-24: The Trey Lance experience, Cowboys pregame show disaster, and Jim Harbaugh's traumatic elevator story

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneTC and Jorts Richardson in for Dan today. 5 interceptions and a long touchdown run = the full Trey Lance experience, the audio department of the Blue Star Network is on thin ice after that one, Jim Harbaugh treats a stuck elevator like Vietnam, Jake thinks this Hard Knocks is awesome, the Southlake booster club is offering what?, and a chimp documentary you didn't know you needed to hear about. (00:00) - Open (37:26) - Sports: Trey Lance, Cowboys pregame disaster, Harbaugh elevator (01:12:03) - Viewer Mail (01:17:12) - TV: Hard Knocks, Chimp documentary (02:01:13) - News (02:17:26) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you will get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain.

Now, on to today's program. Don't punt me! Punt goes into the end zone. Cowboys back on offense when we come back to Arizona. It's DiNucci time. So punt time for Brian Anger. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

I never listen. I'm going to listen. I want to listen to the drums. Gone but not forgotten. Gone but not forgotten. As evidenced by every D-bag in Dallas wearing a hat. It says Dallas upside down. Where is he now?

Probably just slinging caps. They got those hats for Fort Worth now. Really? Same company? Saw them last night. True brand. All right, well, this is the Dumb night. True brand. All right. Well, this is the dumb zone. Dan is out again today.

We'll provide an update on his status here in a minute. He's with the Bills. It's Monday. Behind Trubisky? August 26. He's a heavy. Show 223. We're at Dan's house high atop his garage.

He is not here. No one is here. Fam is gone. Isn't it great? I mean, I don't really mingle with the common area too much for various reasons. If I want to heat my food or get some water. Yeah. It's unlikely that you're going to step on a landmine. Take a nap.

Yeah, he could. This used to just be my life. I know. TZ used to just be my life. I know. TZ used to just house it. So filling in for Dan today, it's the Dirtbag Culture Hour. Hey, thanks for having us. Greetings. The twosome that was robbed of their spot.

Boy, were we. On the DFW Airwaves. Coveted two to four Saturdays. Unless SMU played or something. Well, not SMU. We're SM played or something. Well, not SMU. We're SMU. UNT. Yeah, not a lot of shows out there

with a bigger rep reach audience interest than UNT football. Sorry, Blake. Hard to get to. He's right. It was hard to split the audience between people who like Shen Yun, 5,000 years of beautiful Chinese dance,

and UNT secondary. Isn't there some weird story with Xinyan? Oh, yeah. I've got to go back and listen to y'all's episodes. It's an anti-communist ploy. It's a religious cult. It was being advertised all over Fort Worth. And everywhere.

Because they've got the cult money. So, yes. Blake is here with me making sure that we do the right things. And then, yeah, Jorts. You do that stuff on the fly, all the technical production stuff. That's amazing. You're like DJ Lethal.

Hey, thanks, man. Yeah. Do you know who DJ Lethal is, Blake? No. Only the DJ for the two biggest musical groups ever. I only know the one. He's also in House of pain oh limp biscuit oh yeah now who was the guy who almost died with travis barker dj am he did die oh he did die but not with travis barker oh he died after like they both lived and then dj and they both survived the plane crash, right?

Yeah. But I think DJ AM might have succumbed to... I don't want to... Addiction. I need facts. I'll look up how DJ AM died. But I think it might... Yeah, and I think it might have been due to some of the pain.

You're going to want to leave that wherever you put it. Yeah. Because it'll make a lot of noise. Yeah, put that back up there. Okay. And if you could, too, Frank. What do you want me to do? Put your mic up a little bit. Two audio professionals, and we're having to... Oh, yeah. back up there. Okay. And if you could, too, Frank. What do you want me to do? Put your mic up a little bit.

Two audio professionals, and we're having to... Oh, yeah. Not head mics. Love it. Not since I toured with Garth Brooks. That's the first time I ever saw a head mic, was Garth Brooks Central Park. Yeah. I think that's what it was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a friend who's a teacher of young children, and she went to see a vocal specialist who's like, yeah, we see teachers in here all the time. It fucks up your vocals. So his solution was get a head mic, a little hip speaker. Could you imagine going through school with your teacher fucking voice of God in you the whole time? No. Listen.

We probably would have planned to beat him up. I don't think that teacher's making it through semester one. I mean, it's like four years coming from me, a guy, and I didn't really participate in this and I want to be clear about that. But our janitor in high school had the voice box. How,

how did you ever not make fun of him? Yeah. Cause everybody else had it covered. I was, I was happy to just sweet boy in elementary school just watch poor guy this was junior high at least no it was high it was high school yeah yeah he had the full and this is also whenever we were uh promoting our band a lot which required putting a five minute stranger yeah yeah yeah i had five more of our

band listings sent to me really yeah? Yeah, I saw those. Somebody has like a, maybe it's newspaper.org, something. There's a searchable archive that you can pay for. But we had to put up a lot of flyers, Blake. And I can tell you there's one thing a janitor does not want. It's you putting up 200 flyers in unauthorized locations that he then has to clean up. Because those flyers never stay up more than 10 minutes. Everyone just runs through. I got to trash these flyers.

Yeah, and then he's like, dang. I got to trash these flyers. Dan's not that good anyway. Yeah, AM was a drug overdose. A shocking amount of different kinds of drugs. It's a sad bit because you would think if you almost die in a plane crash, you would take this new lease on life approach, but I think it probably messes

you up so bad that that's not always the outcome that it produces. Yeah, and if it's the pain, it's the pain. Yeah, that's part of it too. So typically here, and Dan should be back tomorrow, the update we have on him is he might be kind of cranky.

I'm not as confident as you are. The update we have on him is he might be kind of cranky. I'm not as confident as you are. I think we're about six hours delayed right now. And our current sit rep has him leaving the East Coast at 8 p.m. tonight. And he's already at the airport. It's noon now.

He's at the airport. He's sitting in an airport right now and he doesn't have a hope of getting on a plane. Best case, eight hours. I said to him this morning, I was like, dude, this is the worst time for when you don't drink. Because if there's ever a time that it's appropriate to just go for it. Right. There's nothing to do. And then you get on an airplane, what could go wrong there?

So, yeah. That motherfucker? Yeah, it's not real. So yeah. That motherfucker? Yeah, it's not real. So we'll see what happens with Dan tomorrow. Is he doing that crazy charade where,

well, you guys all were doing it, where you stay on Texas time the entire time you're somewhere? It's not a bit. I wasn't. I know it's not a bit. That's why I,

I want to dig deeper. I wasn't doing it whenever we talked. It drove me crazy. When we talked, it was, I didn't do it until I realized that every time he would have to ask me, so I would say 10 slash noon. But I had to do it as far as my waking and going to bedtime for the most part because if we have to be doing the show at noon, which is 10 out there, then I'm not going to sleep until.

Of course. It was just better that way. But he literally changes his phone to where it won't change the time. He's figured that out. I understand the utility of it, but it seemed more hardcore than the Marines. Yeah.

He'll do that on you. He eats the same thing for every meal. So typically this is where we do a weekend check. And I have quite a bit for my weekend, but I'm going to give you two the forum. Well, then let me start because I got nothing. Okay. Because I'm still playing catch up from vacation. Yeah, I had a little bit of that this weekend too, laundry in particular.

But it just seems like recovery time for everything takes longer the older you get. There's no doubt. And I'm still catching up on, you know, God forbid I get any help with the yard. Email. Or laundry. Yeah. Cleaning up email.

Yeah. I did probably eight loads of laundry this weekend. Easily. It never ends, guys. Yeah. Laundry.

You have a couple kids. Oh, boy. I can imagine. I did. Cloth diapers. Spectrum-y thing. I've done it a long time. Saturday, I'll go back to you, Blake, but Saturday my wife went out to dinner,

and I was just with Carter. My mom had Nora, and Carter went to bed. He goes to bed pretty early. And I'd started this project earlier in the day when I think he was down and I just had Nora. Their clothing drawers drive me crazy. So I matched all my daughter's socks. Yeah.

Beautiful. Like 25, 30 pair of them. And the ones that didn't have matches because all of her laundry was done, I got a big Ziploc bag and I put them in there and put them in the back. And I said from now on, if we can't find the match, we throw it out. Are you saying that the person that put them in there will just throw them in the back are you saying from now on if we can't find the match we throw it out are you saying that the person that put them in there will just throw them in like one at a time i might be like they'll find that there's two and then they just put them in there or they'll open them up and sometimes listen honestly i don't really know the input i just know the output drives me insane and And so I did that.

That was a big Saturday activity for me. That would drive me insane. I don't think it's intentional, but I don't really understand how else it ends up that way. I got to match socks. Yeah. Yes. Did you do it like for your family when you were a kid? Yeah.

Okay. I love the roll thing. It's like the easiest thing to fold. Sure. So I don't mind doing those kinds of things. Did either of you guys thing to fold. It's kind of one way. I don't mind doing those kinds of things. Did either of you guys do that? Because I had this memory this weekend of just sitting there,

my mom dumping an entire basket of socks and being like, hey, it's matching game. Yeah, it's Sunday night. Mighty Ducks 2 is on. I'm just going to sit here and do this for two hours. Dude, exact same experience. You can put a movie on and match your whole family's sock collection. It helps solve the Sunday scaries.

Yeah, before you knew it. Yeah. I don't think I've ever done that. It's weird. You? Matching socks? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Like for your family growing up? That was like a common chore for us. No, not like that. That was more my dad's game. Because that's one of those things where I was sitting there doing it thinking, I remember growing up doing this and hating it. But now when I do it, I'm not sure if I like it because of nostalgia or what. Something changes whenever you're doing it for yourself or for your family.

That's definitely true. But I found myself thinking. I liked mowing the lawn a lot more once it wasn't my dad making me mow his lawn for sure the equivalent of building your home on the prairie yeah folding the socks and also if you're doing it for yourself you don't have a super who's just like checking in on the on the qc like hey what's that bathroom did you did you say you cleaned it yeah if you're doing the same task but if you're doing it for yourself versus someone else, it's just wildly different. So much more satisfying whenever you decided, you know what, I'd feel accomplished if all these socks were matched.

Yeah. I just have all these same socks. So it's easy. But at some point, I don't want to say who, but someone bought me these kinds of socks, but with like a slightly longer ankle thing. And so now I just, every time I pick three out because- Pretty good odds. Yeah. I know.

100%. Yeah. It has to be. The two of the three will be the same. But kids' socks are the ones that- Yes. Yeah. They've all got a bunch of fucking patterns

they're so small they are small my wife found a rogue sock this weekend that wasn't hers and it wasn't mine but it was bigger

than my foot it was too big for my foot so I was able to turn the table for a second yeah well you have a

it's a good thing it was a big sock but you have a monster in here small sock you're fucked. Very quickly, she was like, this is making me upset. Not the discussion we were having, but the fact that there was a rogue sock that belonged to neither of us. You have in-unit laundry at your apartment?

Yeah, we do. If it was like a laundromat type. Yeah, we do. Because if it was like a laundromat type. Yeah. She's in the business of vintage clothes now and then, trading between her friends. And they'll throw in a sock? And I'm like, that's got to be from one of your friends.

Dave's a big motherfucker. Yeah, Dave's a huge guy. So do you feel caught up now? Yeah, but I feel crappy. It's like i worked harder on the weekend than i did during the week i said that to him yesterday tc like it was up until basically yesterday afternoon that i was like all right homeostasis has been achieved yeah everything is clean everything back in order matched yeah no my thing from the weekend was we had a birthday party to go to. And it was a swimming ordeal. Yes, happy birthday Tatum with a Y.

No. With two. T-A-Y-T-U-M. Danger zone. We're just going to have to share the world with these people our whole fucking lives. Yeah. This is fucking bullshit. They'll probably be your boss.

I'm sorry. Am I not supposed to curse? I was wondering. I know. You just talk how you would normally talk. Okay. Yeah. This is fucking bullshit. They'll probably be your boss. I'm sorry. Am I not supposed to curse? I was wondering. I know. You just talk how you would normally talk. Okay. Birthday party started at 1 o'clock. Saturday.

Sunday. Okay. Outside. I feel like that's prime time nap time. Yeah. What are we doing? Yep. Yep.

TC's daughter's last birthday was morning, and I loved it. I'm coming around. Because I had a hard out, too, for the second kid's nap. When we were very early in the birthday party game, the first one we went to was at like 10 a.m. I was like, what the hell is this? What are we doing? But now I see it.

Being fully wrapped up by nap time. 10 or like 3. We had a 9 a.m. a couple weeks ago. I mean, on the front end, you hate it, but you're very thankful on the way home at 11. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still living this things get rolling about 10, 11 life, guys.

And I'm starting to feel a bit guilty of it because at 43 years old, I'm like, man, I should be doing stuff at eight. Yeah, but you work in the studio at night, though. Yeah. It's a night game. Yeah. What time are you going to bed? 12 to 1, getting up at eight, but I'm just not up and at them at eight.

Nine. Is it the same on the weekend? Getting up at nine. Yeah, kind of. Just normal? I'm saying it's not like you sleep till two on the weekend no there'll be an occasional one of those every now and then maybe this saturday which is incredible yeah this coming saturday hopefully i don't know though i have a i have to play the

drums tomorrow at 9 a.m like i don't want to hear anything that loud before whatever rock o'clock in the studio oh okay like a session Might as well just stay up. Okay. Country people, they like, you know. They like to start early. It's a conservative business model in the country music world. Okay. They start around the time the cock crows.

8.30, 8.30. What? Around the time the cock crows. That's right. That's when they get to picking. How is the new Patriot Mobile theme coming? Beautiful. It's incredible.

You guys should hear the second verse. Really lean in to... Get into the plans. Yeah. They've hooked you. Yeah, they have. Now that you know this is going to be the most beneficial cell provider you've ever experienced. It's a feature from Dan Bongino.

Didn't you tell us that you had, okay. I, too, went to a celebration of life yesterday at 1 p.m. It wasn't a birthday party. It was a going-away party for one of my wife's coworkers, and it was at a drag brunch. Okay. I did one of those things, and it's, if anybody's familiar with Fort Worth,

it's on the sketchy west side of fort worth speaking of patriot mobile that's right yeah you know the church the bad the bad traffic circle the huge one yeah it's like the indy 500 right there altamir in the west side of course um it's a great establishment called uh the halo that uh is there which is a uh a queer bar and uh one of my wife's co-workers was having a going away party so we went to the drag brunch and it was a it was fun there were protesters outside and i was screamed at by a guy who's talking about burning but it's 102 degrees and he is in a full suit it's's like, you're a step ahead. My brother.

Top of mind for him. Yeah, but he told me that I was grooming and I just screamed, it's 21 and up. Yeah. So there's no children involved in these activities. That is confusing. You would like to see them put in just a little more work. Like only go to the ones with kids.

Yeah. Or, you know, I mean, protest whatever you want to protest, but it's just, you're wasting everyone's time if it's something. If Jordan can brush it off that easy, then. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's just fucking lazy. Everybody's brushing it off.

How was the food? I mean, the guy who the party was for mooned them. And I think it was a full spread. And it was. Mooning. Yeah. Mooning. Yeah, mooning. Who knew that was still around? Yeah, I feel like it's taken a real cultural nosedive.

He'd call it butt stuff, this guy. Okay. I think when you open, too, it's no longer a moon. Right. Yeah. I was expecting kind of like, I don't want to call any particular congregation out. I was expecting seeing like a more current, maybe modern look.

But these people were, it was straight like old school. You know, the main guy had a baggy suit. The children kind of had like bowl haircuts and looked like their names were Seth and that they would do their mother's bidding. Yes, mama. Oh, you're talking about them. I thought you said it like you were saying inside. No no no the protesters like the children no i don't like this like a 19 year old who'd go and kill for mama you thought the protesters would be on the cutting edge i thought they'd maybe look a little bit more like nah because i don't think like kind

of a defining part of their whole thing is being stuck in a while ago. Yeah, but I know what his point is, though. Without saying too much. Like the megachurches, they may hold those views, but they're not out there doing that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're not doing that. Yeah. So, yeah. They don't actually care.

Another thing I noticed is we have not come very far in bullhorn technology. It's still like, and it's like, hey, wait, why can't we get a speaker, guys? A little more clarity to the sound? No idea what you're telling me about Leviticus right now.

The mids are just falling apart? It's all mid. It's like a Toadies album. Can you buy a new bullhorn? Oh, I'm sure there's got to be. I think they're still the same, though. College football or high school football coaches.

That's a business opportunity. Look at that. I know. This one's got a little walkie-talkie thing. They look like yetis. I went to... Just to scream to tell your athletes they're not allowed to drink water until practice is over.

Friday night we had yet another event at the school, Blake. Oh, no. Where we basically did the exact same things we school, Blake. I don't know. Where we basically did the exact same things we did at that orientation I told you about. Except now you had to bring your kid. Yeah. And your kid's siblings, I guess, if you didn't have childcare, which we did. But not everyone did. So now the same speech that I heard before.

This time it was delivered by the teacher, which it was cool to meet her. But there's just kids screaming like little kids and the kindergartners who have been in school all day and now they're supposed to come back at 6 15 and sit here for 45 minutes and listen to that's a bad idea dim tell the parents about uh the easiest way to download the gcisd app and the teacher like, is great. I love the school, and I really want to hammer that point home because let me be clear about something. There are more people who listen to this show and listen to the ticket at this school

than there was at the Montessori. Uh-huh. Yeah. So everything's going great. I mean, there are people... I met a lot of people, and they were all very nice, and they were all like, yeah, the school's great. It's a lot, but, you know.

How's Dad's Club? I mean, it's all cool dudes. I mean, we went to that thing. You're in it. No, I'm not. Last I heard. No, it's just there are no plans. I've met guys who are in it.

You know, that thing we did was them. Just a different elementary school. Is it blood in, blood out? I think so. I just want you helping with the drop-off line. I think I will eventually. I want you giving fist bumps through the car window.

High fives and smiles. Dude, I'm going to end up having a full crip. Like handshake with every kid. I did one. Dude, I'm going to end up having a full crip. Shake with every kid. Like the movie Hardball. You're like, very demure.

Some sixth grader. Don't do that to a sixth grader. You're going to get on a list. The guy at the drag brunch is going to find you. Seth. That, as i skip around in my weekend check i'll go ahead and go forward since dc brought this up yesterday we went to the uh the splash pad a little grapevine water park um if you're a resident it's 13 for all four of us and it's pretty sweet it's enough my kid doesn't really want to do water

slides beyond like the ones that are pretty small anyway so there's no point in spending two hundred dollars going to hawaiian falls or hurricane river just to spin the captain's wheel so yeah exactly on the ground so my daughter's learning to swim and we swam from the regular pool area, which is like five feet deep over, it gets shallower, shallower. There's like a bend. And there are about four or five kids that are, I'm thinking between fifth and seventh grade boys. And there, you know, they're slap dicking around and whatever. And then they got out while we were still over there. And another kid came over. And they were standing on the concrete just outside the pool.

And I could kind of overhear their conversation. And the kid who had just walked up was like, Well, why don't you like me? And the kid who was clearly like hot shit and I'm not going to say I don't want to say that this 11 year old was good looking

lest I end up on a but it was clear that he was like I like your instincts there. Yeah. It was clear that he was like the athlete like the better athlete

of the group and he was like carrying himself like real dickheaded and the kid was like why don't you like real dickheaded shilly and uh the kid was like what are you like he's like i just don't i don't want to talk to you and the kid kind of like sheepishly walked away with another kid who was in the initial group okay so now i'm still over here fast forward about 10 minutes and um the shithead kid gets a cup of water gets out of

the water and stands up and he calls the kid that he just talked down to over. And he's like, hey, come here, come here. Of course, this is the popular kid, so that kid wants to come talk to him. Kid walks over, he just throws the water right in his face. Get Pete Friedman. That's an incredible callback. No one but one listening will get it. So now I'm like, man, this shit sucks.

Like I'm not happy about this. And like that instinct of I just am going to do something really dumb for someone that I think needs help. Like getting my ass kicked several times trying to fight bullies that were bullying other people when I was a kid. So I was like, you know, I went back and I told my wife, I was like, man, it sucks just watching a kid just get, I don't know, you just hate it, you know? And she was like, I probably would have said something. She was like, if we're at the park and there's like four or five kids and it gets to a point where they're like throwing stuff at them, I'll say like,

hey, chill out. And usually they just immediately like freeze up. But I was also kind of worried this kid would kick my ass. He didn't look like he had a lot of freeze up in him. So I was like, alright, here's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to go say something

to the lifeguard that's right where they are. And just be like, dude, it was a lady. Like, can we just keep an eye here because they're just fucking with this kid nonstop. As I'm walking over there, I have to walk by where the kid

who's getting bullied is sitting with a friend of his who is also in the initial group. There's clearly a guy here who's trying to be the go-between. I'll hang out with the kid no one likes and the cool guy likes me. As I'm approaching there to go around and tell the lifeguard, the two kids, Dorky Kid and his liaison, are eating ice cream sandwiches.

And Shithead Kid, before I even get to him, I'm still probably 25 feet away, walks over and just grabs Dork Kid's ice cream and just starts eating. And I'm like, well, that at least confirmed that I'm not just making this up in my head. And so I just went over to the lifeguard. I walked right past him as he was just eating this other kid's ice cream and walked over to the lifeguard and I was just like, hey,

I'm not trying to cause problems here, but this kid's having a hard time over here. And she's like, I already had to get on to him and his crew for pool etiquette. I'll keep an eye on him. You know? And then I didn't know what to do because in my mind I was going to be like,

you know, hey, bro, this whole bullying thing, this is lame. But then the next thing I know, his dad has got a Punisher sticker. Oh, of course. Clearly. And it was clear to me there were no parents there with them. But on a 1% off chance there is, and I get... Somehow there's a weird castle doctrine thing that applies to water parks in your hometown.

And I end up getting shot. What? So you just wanted the lifeguard to get shot instead? No, I mean, there was no... That's the risk they take when they sign up for Baywatch. Yeah. I think you... I don't like this middle road. I think the right thing

is if you're walking by a kid who's stealing another kid's ice cream sandwich to be like, hey, don't do that. Yeah, I just didn't want to deal with that. But I would like say nothing. Way more than be like, well, I'd like to make this your problem. It's not really my lane.

Or it is. I make it my lane. It's not really my bit. The other story I have from the weekend is my favorite car wash threw away my car tray. Oh, no. Just threw it away? I guess.

Or stole it. They might have looked at it and been like, what is this innovation? Hands off anything in the car other than like, don't even touch my receipts. It was under, why do you have so many receipts? Guitar center. Oh, okay. Taking this back. I needed a cowbell.

It was under my passenger seat front. Like, it slides under there perfectly. Oh, my God. This is a glimpse into your life. I just don't. And I clean my car out before I go. Like I assume everyone does that. You just looked way too happy when you said that the car tray slides under the seat perfectly.

No, it's amazing. It's perfect. So I take out the kids' car seats, obviously, because that's what you're trying to clean is the chip hell. Goldfish. Not your shredded lettuce from the car chase. Lettuce. But yeah. I get everything out of the back.

I want it nice and clean. And yeah. I was going to enjoy some of the finest delicacies from the Austin eatery known as Schlotzky's. Yeah, yum. Which is a sandwich that is tough to eat without support. They've got shredded lettuce on there. Yeah, a lot of lettuce. And it's not there.

And I didn't even think like, because one time, TC, you might remember this, my wedding ring got stolen out of my car at a car wash. I do remember that. Yeah. I had like a real cheap one, or relatively cheap, but they had it on camera. And they couldn't get it back from the guy, so they wrote me a check. I think they fired him, but I didn't go back until the next day. Couldn't get it back?

Like you just said no? I don't know what happened. I just know the option they presented to settle this matter when I went back the next day was... That's been in my arm for a while, guys. You're never seeing that ring again. Yeah. Forget your marital responsibility for a second. When they cut a check, was that a better feeling

than handing you the ring back or a worse feeling? Much better. Yeah. Just instinctually. And don't tell anyone, but I went with a cheaper option. Sure. 10 carats. Yeah. I went with a cheaper option. Sure. 10 carats. Yeah.

I pocketed a little bit of that. For sure. Within six months, I had no idea where mine was. And I've used a $20 Amazon replacement since then. I just didn't have the balls to call my car wash place and be like, hey, have you guys seen a piece of plastic that possibly looks like something someone would eat off of?

They're like $10, $20. You probably should have. I didn't even... Don't you want to know? They probably just accidentally threw it away. It kind of looks like a car mat. Do they throw away car mats? I'm sure it happens on accident all the time. But now you're scarred. Oh yeah, know, like the shape of it. Do they throw away car mats? I'm sure it happens

on accident all the time. But now you're scarred. Oh, yeah. And I like this place a lot. Dan goes there. Can't put a number on that. I know. Mm-mm.

They ruined the innocence. Yeah, I guess I could save this last thing probably for Dan, but I'll at least give you the teaser. Blake, you can use this too. TC knows this. And I think now I get why people get so fired up about youth sports.

It's not that it's fun. You force your kid to think that they care. It's just because you can eat shit tons of innings on the weekend. Because every parent of very small children knows you wake up 7, 8 o'clock and it's like, 12 hours is a long time.

You got both of them here. It's 105. There's the library. That's an hour, hour and a half. That's good. There's the library. Okay, library. That's an hour, hour and a half. That's good. That's good. There's a nap in here somewhere. Okay.

Kill a couple hours there. All right. We'll give a tablet for an hour and a half, two hours. Okay. That's part of gymnastics for me. Yes. I get up, get going, knock yourself out. We get an early nap.

Well, that and the beauty and grace of the sport. Yes, and the cute boys he makes friends with. These cute, strong boys. So, my solution is... I'm going to ask him to the violin ladies concert. No, that's just for me. Just for Dad. I'll go with you.

Pet store. Interesting. Yeah, it's like a half-measure zoo that's free. And probably close to your house. And indoors. And indoors. And they offer a wide array of animals at the big box versions.

And, you know, if you go on a weekend, they probably have adoptions going on. So they've got dogs and puppies and kittens there. And we killed, like, easily an hour just, hey, look at this tarantula. Hold both of them up and show them. Dude, that is so beaten. It seems beaten, but I mean, what's different between that and going to an aquarium at the mall?

There is a difference, but it's not like the difference between that and going to the Dallas Zoo. The difference comes with age, I'd imagine. If they're young enough. This is the aquarium. Exactly. You don't feel great. The difference comes with age, I'd imagine. If they're young enough. This is the aquarium. Exactly. You don't feel great.

We're here. Hey, look at these hamsters. Oh, I might not, but I tell you who does. Both of them. That might as well be a fucking Gila monster. Look, they're running that little wheel. Yes, I have video of them watching the wheel. You can get a ferret like Ellis Jones.

That's so Divorce Dad weekend. It works, dude. Yeah, like everything else in Divorce Dad weekend, it's fun. It kicks ass. A little cheap. So that's just a little tip. My game for tomorrow is I took a picture, Blake, of a bunch of the prices of animals. Ooh.

You're never going to get close. I want to try this. I'm in PetSmart pretty often. Just the difference. Okay. I mean, there's a basic one I didn't know. Just give us one or two. A little taste.

How much do you think goldfish are? $5. Yeah. $6.99. I'm going to go with $2.99. $0.22. Wow. Give it a one.

That's a fair price. Are you going to the PetSmart wet market? No, this is not the wet market. In fact, I've come around on the idea that most fish are merely a vehicle by big aquarium to make you buy an aquarium. Like, I'm sure there's super expensive, I know there's expensive fish, but some of these are like, I mean, these are- I was thinking they're enticing you to buy four of them. Yeah.

And you can get out for less than a dollar. Right. Yeah. They're trying to do away with the penny. And they're still only 22 cents. Why 22? Why not 25? I could buy 60 of those and not even break a sweat.

Yeah. Why not? Let's just do this now. That is the only thing. You go first. Large ball python. $40. Okay.

I mean, it's a big ass snake. I was thinking, yeah, 30. $299. $299. I was, it's a big-ass snake. I was thinking, yeah, $30. $299. I was thinking more like Jordan, but it's $50. $50? I mean, it's a big snake. Ruined my life for $50. Not to skip ahead, but possibly the most exciting part of the chimp documentary for me was getting a hard number on what a newborn chimp costs.

No doubt. I called my guy, my financial advisor. It's more than I was hoping for, but it's just good to know what the target is. What are we talking? $65K for a fresh chimp. That's a car. Top quality fresh chimp. It's a nice car.

It's a car that'll love you forever. Actually, is it like adoption fees $30,000? I don't know if I got to that part. No, no, no. I'm saying to adopt a human child. The outlay to acquire a human, and I know rightfully no one thinks of it that way or calls it that, but that's what it is. Chimp is double.

That's pretty nuts. Yeah. It's because Michael Jackson had one. Yeah. It's a boon for the industry. All right, Blake, you want to do some sports? Oh, yeah. It's okay.

I got to pull this little thing. How about this? From the wonderful world of sports, Radio Sports Scoreboard. And today's sports, boys, is brought to you by Frankel & Frankel. They are personal injury lawyers. They are chosen by the people, feared by the insurance companies. And let me tell you something.

If there's ever been a friend that I had that made me think, I'm glad the Frankels exist, it's T.C. Flynn. The road is his. The road is his. And it's not always going to be yours. And if he makes a little error and doesn't share that road, and you find yourself in a car accident, you need to call 214-817-333-3333. You know, the thing I love about them is they're so analytically minded,

which means they would really respect my perfectly clean driving record. Yeah, I don't know if they would ask questions about whether you've ever backed off of a loading dock or pulled out of a loading dock forward or not, but I can tell you what they would do. Do you think of yourself now as a guy who collects roadkill?

Or would you say that's in the past? I would think this is a spot, and that they're a family-owned law firm with a client-first mission. Good peoples. Good peoples for sure. This is actually the only client that I don't use and it's only because I haven't had to.

And you'd like to keep it that way. But if you did. But if I did, I would call immediately if I got into a wreck. Of course, they're based here. They're like Dan always says, the defensive coach who became an offensive coordinator or vice versa. They used to defend the insurance companies,

and they will now use that experience to advocate on your behalf. 214 or 817, and then just start mashing that 3. 333, 3333, 333, 3333. So Trey Lance, huh? That was fun.

Kind of got the full experience all in one night. I got a bad feeling about it. I don't think it's going to work out. No, not every turnover was his fault, but when you have seven. You just don't want to say that sentence. Yeah, not good. Well, they threw that graphic up of him only throwing one interception in college, and now he's, what, up to nine in preseason games?

Yeah. In that college, I don't think he faced the NFL defender once. No. Oh, really? Well, maybe, but, yeah, it's not like it was a high level of competition, but he probably did. An NFL defender? One, two.

I'm going to bet zero. At the North Dakota State schedule? I don't know. How many guys from South Dakota do you see in the NFL? I don't know. A lot of Jackrabbits? I'm watching a guy from a school I'd never heard of before compete for the backup quarterback spot on Hard Knocks right now.

Shepard's got a program. Yeah, it doesn't matter. He's not going to be the backup. He was never going to be the backup. It's a failed experiment. They gave away a fourth for nothing. There's so many better options you could have probably... Like, what about Zach Wilson?

Is he Zach Wilson? Pretty good. Balling over the weekend. You couldn't have got him for a fourth? What about leave it alone and just believe in Cooper forever? I think it's clear that Jerry's just like, this guy's just so freaking boring. Yeah.

He's just boring. Like I got to have a little sizzle. At the backup quarterback spot? You're hard up, dude. Dude, I mean, he held on to the nooch forever. He wants a little zest. Even Mark Sanchez is a little more, hey, remember me?

I'm Mark Sanchez. I don't know that a single name you've said this segment is zesty. Zach Wilson definitely is. But, they're going to move on, I would imagine, from Trey Lance. But they have to keep him, right? They have to keep him?

That's beautiful. No, no, no. I'm saying. Jerry indicated very clearly he's keeping him. Yeah, they're going to keep three quarterbacks. And then just make sure they don't pay him a fifth-year option next year? Yeah, let's not get crazy, but he's going to be on the team this year. I still think there's a place for him.

Like what? Like the Arena League? No, just it's the classic. Like the Renegades? Yeah. Classic sports talk thing of like, what about a little sub package? No. But, I mean, dude, when you see him in the open field the other night,

it's like, holy hell, how is a guy that big that fast? It's like, holy hell, how is a guy that big that fast? It's insane. You just never, you never really see, like everyone talks about a sub package. Fans love the idea of a sub package. That's what I'm saying. But you don't actually do it because if you can only do one thing well, then you can't do anything well

because everyone knows what's coming. And like, if you can do multiple things well, then you're just the starting quarterback. There's no quarterback run that's good enough if an NFL defense knows that it's coming. What if he returns kicks? I think I'm open to anything if you're going to have to keep him around.

We'll throw back to the opposite sideline. Yeah, I don't want him competing open to anything if you're going to have to keep him around. We'll throw it back to the opposite sideline. Yeah, I don't want him competing with my boy Turpin, though. How will it be affected by the new kickoff rules? What? Does that suit his strengths as a kick returner, or does it detract? I think, like Blake's saying, it suits it. Because nobody's going to show anything in the preseason, but you are going to see some wild-ass kick returns.

I hope so. For sure. And I think it's both special teams and – or both kicking and receiving. Everybody's just kind of like, let's figure this out, not show the double reverse. Dude, the weirdest thing is the angle kick. Like that showed up on hard knocks too. You have to run so far to try to field the ball. And at that point, the dude from the Bears had to outfield catch it

as opposed to kick return catch it because he was on the run. It's weird to watch. Yeah, I'm hoping for a little more spice because that's all we hear is nobody wants to show anything. But I'm just afraid they're just going to start booting it out of the end zone and just letting them start at the 30. Yeah. I don't know what the – it'll take probably four weeks to figure out

what the field position averages are. I misread the graphic, and I thought it said loading zone, and I thought that was a cooler name than landing zone. That is cooler. They call it splash zone. It'd be kind of sweet. I think they could send Trey Lance to that Australian

football punter school. What a weapon. That's insane. Send him there for about a week. See what happens. If I could mute a word on the broadcast it would be dynamic kickoff. I'm so damn tired of hearing about it. Oh, it would be dynamic kickoff. I'm so damn tired of hearing about it. Oh, it's a dynamic kickoff time?

Oh, let's see if we can get a dynamic return. You want to talk about wearing dresses. Before we get to the audio, what did you guys think of – and if you didn't see it in this game, I saw it in one other one on Saturday. What's it called? Hawkeye? The measurement thing? The measurement? Oh. Yeah. The measurement thing? The measurement?

Oh. Yeah. Did you see any of this? No. So, first of all, in the Cowboy game, it took like two minutes, and it was clear they just wanted to use it. Like the European soccer thing? Pretty much.

Like Sony is the new – VAR? V-A-R? Yeah. Sony is the new tech partner for the NFL. Okay. And I guess they have a bunch of stuff they're rolling out. And one of them is by next year,

they're going to try to have every stadium have the Hawkeye measurement. So currently not all the stadiums have it? Well, I think what it is. That seems competitively unbalanced. Well, they're not using it this year. Okay, okay. It's just being rolled out in preseason. And then I imagine they probably will test it

without showing it to you throughout the year. It's the breakdancing of the NFL this year. Exactly. Just test it out. A little test pilot run. But what I read about it is it's pretty hard to just pull off because some of the stadiums are really old or relatively, and just retrofitting all of it has been difficult.

But I saw my first two live ones, and it's pretty badass. I mean, the Cowboy one took way too long, and the one I saw in another game was kind of anticlimactic. Why? How wouldn't the whole point be for it to not take any time at all? I was confused by that. The computer's got to think about it? Like, what the fuck are we doing?

Because the second one I saw on Saturday, it was really quick. Yeah. And they overturned. This is what sucked about it is they marked a guy short for the first down on a catch, and then they went to the Hawkeye, and the tip was like, I don't know, three inches over. And they ruled it a first down. And then the defending team challenged the catch, and it got overturned. What?

Jeez. But that's a thing, though, if you think about it. During the extra measurement time from the robot, had time to think if they wanted to challenge it. And they did. And it challenge it. And they did. And it was close. And they got it overturned. You should have to decide if you want to challenge before.

Before. You really should. Before we go to Hawkeye. Declare. But, I don't know, it looked cool. They could cross-promote with Marvel and have Hawkeyes. Don't think somebody didn't bring it up.

Isn't there a Hawkeye? Yeah. I've been really won over by the segment of sports fans that believe that getting it right is not important. Just moving quickly and providing a good entertainment product is the priority. And this seems like a step away from that. I think that, I mean, think about like in tennis. They do it super quick.

Yeah, if you can do it quick, that's great. I mean, it's certainly going to be... Hawkeye correspondent Jake is that... That was like the first one. Yeah. It's going to be quicker than having two guys who are partners at a law firm run out with a series of... Yeah. ...pulls and chains.

Yeah, but if you're telling me they're doing Hawkeye and then they're doing reviews and... Yeah, that's... Now I feel like I'm back at a fucking law firm. Yeah. I don't know how it's going to work in practice. It's not going to be this year, I don't think. But it was kind of cool to see for the first time. So the rest of my Cowboys coverage has to do with the pregame show,

Countdown to Kickoff, brought to you by the Blue Star Network. And this show doesn't have the same sizzle that it used to have because it used to be just Mickey. Right. The heyday. Which was awesome. Yeah. So, and from the field, right?

Yeah. Which adds a whole other layer. Yeah. And now you've got Kyle Yeomans. Well, and then there's the era of Nate Newton and Michael Irvin. They had them on both together? That's true. Yeah.

I pulled a lot of audio clips from one game from them. It's the glory days of Channel 21. Yeah. It's pretty straightforward. It's Mickey and the guy who thinks he's really cool, and they start with either McCarthy or Jerry,, and they start with either McCarthy or Jerry, and then they go to either McCarthy or Jerry, and then they go to either Stephen or Will McClay.

That's it. It's just basically three interview segments that are dry as you can possibly imagine, and every single time I've watched it this preseason, Jerry said the same thing about, eh, you know, CD wouldn't even be out here playing if he were under contract. So what's the big deal?

It feels like something I would have said as a child, like when I was in trouble. You know, we weren't going to do that anyways. Boy, what is it about, sorry to sidetrack, but I saw the CD video this morning of him running on a beach somewhere. What is it? The agent just feels obligated to send out a video when a guy's

holding out. Look how awesome he is. Look at what good a shape he is. He's in better shape here than he would be at training camp. Both sides are doing it. If you are the agent and they're like, so what are we going to do during this time if you just come back to them? I think nothing. You're not going to be the agent

for very long. You've got to sound like you've got a good idea. But then Zeke You're not going to be the agent for very long. You got to sound like you got a good idea. But then Zeke was doing the same thing. It's just thirst traps. What if we just have you like real shredded on a beach? That's the go-to. So one way to spice up this pregame show that has become very bland is to have nothing work. have nothing work. So,

they came out of, there's a little ramp up. You know, they play their insane Cowboys music. And then this is what we started with. Mike McCarthy sitting down now. Coach. Oh, no, wait here.

I got to back up a tiny little bit. And many, if any, starters. So, we'll see a lot of young guys. It's their last shot to get an opportunity to make this roster. Jerry Jones is dead. Okay, so that goes on for about another 45 seconds.

What? It went on for almost a minute? It curves around the building today for a lot of these players trying to make a roster. Not only with the Cowboys, but 31 NFL teams, too. Yeah, absolutely. This is their last audition, right? And then, yeah, here comes... So do you...

Could they hear it? Probably not, right? I don't think so, yeah. I couldn't talk over that. No. Talk over the NFL's Amber Alert? He's a big pro. I know we couldn't, but we're not.

Not Mickey. Yeah. So let's see. This one's interesting because they're trying to get Jerry, but they have the stadium really, really loud coming out of break and nothing else. So they come out of break, and they're interviewing Jerry, but all you can hear is the in-house mic and none of the interview.

Solo the crowd mics. Yeah. ...the Ford family of SUVs. And right now, we've got the best deals on an SUV... This is me. ...in Texas Ford dealer. So you can take on game day or go on date night

with confidence. And a whole lot... No payments for 90 days on Expedition. Ford, proud partner of the Dallas Cowboys, Mavs, and Stars. This segment is brought to you by Dr. Pepper. Good so far, other than the fact that they have the 10 can, 10 tea thing going on. They're adding a chorus. Yep.

Yep. This segment is brought to you by Dr. Pepper. Raise your Dr. Pepper glass, the American team. It's a pepper thing. Something's out of face, boys. So pretty good, let's see. Faze's voice. So pretty good. Let's see. Okay, this is at 9-12.

And this goes until 10-18. I'll skip two. So that's a minute and 10 seconds. Wait, what are you watching right now? This is television? I don't know because I derpied it. Okay. So I don't know.

I imagine they had the camera. The interview? Yeah, on Jerry because it starts very abruptly here. There's DJ Lethal. DJ Lethal. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you got to have Lethal. I am loving the editing.

All the guys that we have brought in. So, it abruptly goes back to Jerry with the busted cable. But, yeah, like, again, still terrible. Still out of phase. They had all that time. But now a new, you a new leak has sprung. They're like, bring back the shitty mic. What are they doing? I don't know.

How is any of this? Oh, just wait, dude. You know where this wouldn't fly? The TCU broadcast. That's right. Because you would think if it's the Browns or whatever, you're like, how much money could they be making? Dude, I had that thought of like,

does Jerry get told about this and just blow a gasket? Because it's first of all, it's during his interview. Second of all, it's a team product. Yeah, and I was about to say, I bet Dr. Pepper's not happy that they read their liner through a Dr. Pepper game. Yeah, and then anybody else who had

like live reads, it sounds like shit. And it's just every year. It's every year. So just listen to how Jerry comes back. I bet he doesn't. Joseph bringing in all the guys that we have brought in, plus our draft picks, I think has really given us, especially with our big boys in the center of the line.

Linville Joseph. Is it complete yet? Agreed to terms? There you go. Great job, guys. Agreed to terms? There you go. Great job, guys. Okay, so we're better there. Well, you're not worth $10 billion as a franchise if you spend a lot on audio equipment. That's true.

Yeah, they've achieved that valuation mainly by cutting costs. Okay, so... It's like Turkish soccer or something. Just having to stream it. This is coming out of a break after they're done with the team executives and McCarthy. And I don't know why this is the case, Blake, but everyone always has a tough time trying to go to Nick Eatman. Oh, my gosh.

We've heard this before in press conferences. He'll just disappear. Yeah, they were doing everything by Zoom. They had to, okay, Nick Eatman is still not there. That sounds like cocaine. Great. Sounds like cocaine. So they're coming out of break here,

and they do the bit almost like it's a ticker cut where coming out of break, they'll play like 10 seconds from Tyler Guyton or Tyler Smith talking about the team, and then they try to go to the field. Super, super impressive, both of them. Just their willingness to come in, wanting to learn. No ego, just wanting to get better every day. They're picking our brains, me, Zach, all the vets,

just asking us what our routine is, just any way that could help them be successful, man, they're just, they're soaking it in like a sponge. So I couldn't be more impressed with, you know, how those two came in and they're going to be, obviously play a huge role in our offense going forward. First of all, that should have been seamless and it drops for a second. Note that. Obviously play a huge role in our offense going forward. Brought to you by American Airlines.

Players to watch as always. We're joined by Heatman of DallasCowboys.com. I mean, you've got your eyes on a couple offensive position groups as well. Is offensive line the most polarizing position battle to watch today? Oh, no! Oh, this is horrible. Oh, my goodness. I got to turn that down. Oh, this is horrible. Oh, my goodness. I got to turn that down.

What is this? Somebody's ringing out the monitors. Oh, my God. Dude, I'm never going to get mad at either one of you for producing a podcast recording ever again. That's hard to do. I think he's been on Neptune where he's apparently been taken captive.

It doesn't sound like something that I could do. It's like when Groove's played Under the Bridge. There's no way we can recreate that. It would be a lot easier just to do it right. It's got to be cost-cutting. It's like the person sitting at the board is going into Navarro Junior College this next semester.

I'm trying to think. They did the first two games. How about a little internship for the Cowboys? First two games on the road. This is their first AT&T stadium. But still, yeah, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how they did that. So I'm going to play the beginning part again, and I won't let it go too long so you don't have to mess with the board.

But then we'll go to the end of Nick Eatman, which is funny. Rise on a couple offensive position groups as well. Is offensive line the most polarizing position battle to watch today? I'm going to turn this down. I can't. All right, hold on. Let's see. the most polarizing position battle to watch today? I'm going to turn this down. I can't. All right, hold on. Let's see.

We're going to go to an elementary school hearing test. All right, turn it up again. Because I know they can't hear it, but it's really funny to imagine just, you know, you're the audience and he's doing that, and then they're like, mm-hmm. And just keep putting them out there. And they're going to get a good test when Cleveland comes in. And it's too bad because I really want to know what's the most polarizing position.

We're probably not going to see Guyton tonight. That means he's the starter. Let's go back to real quick. There's no questions asked. It's not injury related or anything. That's good or anything. The other guy, Connor Beebe. Connor?

Cooper Beebe. I don't know why I was calling him Connor. That's okay. We had like three Connors here. Holy cow. Hey, Nick, just don't talk. I was calling him Connor. That's okay. We had like three Connors here. Holy cow. Hey, Nick, just don't talk. I just feel like the first time they do it, I know this is live TV and I know it's super tough.

I feel like the first time you hear it happen, the producer's like, hey, Kyle, don't go back to Nick. And he just kind of keeps moving with, hey, we were going to talk about the same stuff anyways. I know it's live TV. How about a sound check? I watched like a live stream of the Drum Corps Championship a couple weeks ago. And it was like a wide world of sports compared to this.

On the Flow Network. Anybody know Flow? I don't. The Flow Sports Streaming Network? I don't. Well, if you want to watch like horse racing where they're like sitting in the carriage while they're racing. Who owns it? I don't. Well, if you want to watch horse racing where they're sitting in the carriage while they're racing.

Who owns it? I'm not sure. Saudi Arabia? Yeah, it's got to be. They carry drum corps, minor league baseball, dog racing, that kind of stuff. Well, shout out to the Blue Star Network there. That's awesome.

That wasn't really the story of the night, though. The story of the night, though. The story of the night was also not Trey Lance with his 15 turnovers or his 50-yard touchdown run or however long it was. The story of the night came post-game

when Harbaugh was asked about several of his players being stuck on an elevator the night before at the team hotel, The Westin, in Dallas. And was this out before the game? I didn't know anything about this on Saturday, but I wasn't checking for it. I think I saw the news of this before I found out it was NFL related.

And then, yeah, sometime during the game, I think this broke. And I actually saw a couple people, like my wife knows, at least one person, I guess, saying, I've been stuck on that elevator before. Interesting. Yeah. Whoa, whoa. That would...

Got a CD deal. Oh, really? Yeah. Right now? Yep. What do we got? $4,136,000. $38,000,000 signing bonus.

The largest ever given to a wide receiver. What was the hang-up? Guaranteed money? Probably. Oh, excuse me. Yeah, the $38,000,000 signing bonus. It doesn't say guaranteed. I think they were just waiting until he posted that beach video.

I think he might do that. They saw. Yeah. God, he looks great. let's get him done well good wow it's about time okay so uh now the new network is getting credit no way well i mean like all their people are what are they going to do now if they've already gone to... Must credit All-City. So, Jim Harbaugh, TC's favorite. Yuck.

Yeah. Hate him, too. We had his number a couple years ago, though, didn't we, Blake? Indeed. Go Frogs. It's tough. He's probably my least favorite person on planet Earth because I hate him so much. So I don't like him.

But it's so tough for me that he is so obviously likable. Why do you hate him? Because he went to Michigan. What are we doing? That's it? Yeah, of course. Okay. Like if he was all this but for SMU, you'd just be...

Oh, this guy's a... I don't care at all. He's a hard guy. I know, I know. Where'd the last check come from? I know. I don't think he's that likable. No, I don't think he's likable.

I think he's hilarious, though. Yeah, yeah, he's that. Sure. No, I don't think anyone likes him. I think it's obvious that being around him is just an awful experience. He's Trump. But, you know, the drinking milk with steak, things of this nature.

It's funny. Slop him up. Yeah. Getting in a treehouse with a recruit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pushing the tire himself. You're right.

Pushing the tire. My friend Ben Muth was a player under him and whenever he took over at Stanford, I think he had three rules and one of his three was never bare-ass another man's stool.

In the locker room, we've all got stools. You can sit on a friend's stool if you want. I think it was, and I believe if you include the other two, the importance of three becomes funnier. Because I'm pretty sure it was no hitting women, no gambling, no bare-ass in an office. Yeah, yeah.

It was just much larger teaching experiences, teaching moments. Do you feel like if you only give someone three rules for their conduct that those... You're going to be okay.

Would that be what you choose? Essentially what the New Testament is saying. You'll probably be fine. All right? So, a handful of players, and I guess Dan Fouts still does... Chargers games?

I guess. Good on him. He can do American Gladiators. That's what preseason is for. I know. We get Stanback, and they get Fouts. But I think he's their regular guy. Oh, okay.

I think he's their regular radio analyst,, okay. I think he's their regular radio analyst. And his wife, I guess, travels. So she was on there as well. At least, I guess, 11 other players. They got stuck for two hours. That's a big opening. You know, I imagine it's like one of these probably like elevators we can't use. Like there have been times where we traveled with the Stars

and we would basically use the freight elevator. Yeah. The ones that have the packing blankets up. Yeah, that's always weird to me. Yeah. So we can't play all of this because it's five minutes long. He gave a 19-minute press conference after this preseason game. Now, granted, it's a preseason game,

but he spent five of those minutes talking about the elevator situation. Okay? So he was asked about it, but he was also extremely excited to talk about it. Coach, and you talk about getting guys to sort of clear their minds. I know last night y'all had a pretty long night out there with the hotel incident. I mean, what was your initial reaction to everything that was going down? Oh, it was – we dodged a bullet. Okay, right out of the gate, they weren't going to die.

That appears to be what he's saying, right? Movie starring The Rock. Yeah, they weren't going to die, and they weren't going to be in their past game time the next day. We dodged a bullet. Yeah, we dodged a bullet yeah we dodged a bullet i mean um i usually think of dodging a bullet of you know dodging an injury in football and you got to get good at that you got to get good at uh making yourself harder to break and okay and uh how do you do that bullet

but i mean it was a it was a shared experience you know um i think 11 or 12 of our players were there for about two hours. And that's a shared experience. I mean, brought them closer together. I just missed it, you know, being on that elevator. It's like, ah, you're here. It's an 11. Yeah. And he's also kind of – I wish I would have been there with my boys

yeah he's wistful that he missed it's like it's World War II I wish I would have been there with those guys but Justin Herbert was and the remarkable

things that came out of it was to a guy Tarheib a young rookie player, he's like, Justin Herbert's a leader. Oh, no. On the elevator. Dude, it's only going to get worse. So we can't stop everything.

He said we should take our shirts off. He had lube. You know, kept everybody calm. shirts off. He had lube. Kept everybody calm. Jerry Fouts told me the same thing. Pulled me aside after they got out.

Does he mean Dan? No, that's Dan Fouts' wife. I think I probably wasn't clear about that. She does travel. He must have been somewhere else. I just thought he meant former Moeller High School and Notre Dame coach Jerry Fust. No.

Only he would know that, but I respect it. Pulled me aside after they got out and just how great Justin was. And everybody. I mean, everybody kept their poise and just— Kept their poise. You know, you get in that situation. What are they going to do, commit suicide? Test of wills, you know?

It's a test of wills. They definitely did prayers. They definitely joked about who they're eating first. Yeah. I want him commenting like, hey, look, Baby Jessica, not the most talented player in this class but the grit the grit is off the charts it's a test of wills yep you guys take a knee i know it's a little crowded but i want them to win the super bowl so he can say this moment was the defining moment oh yeah oh when they came together you know as they're going through the uh you know

like contingency scenarios, who do you think brought up the idea we might need to repopulate the world with Dan Fouts' work? Yeah. I thought of that. Hey, I don't... It's a situation I've been forced into.

I'm not... Dan, you understand. I'm not saying that I want, but... It's this or humanity dies out. I was proud of each of the guys and the two women that were on that elevator. That's a win. You feel good about yourself. Hold on.

Not that there were two women that they made it. Is he saying that... A loss would have been... Everyone dies. Under different circumstances, that they would have just been repaid in there? I mean, what does he mean by this is a huge win? It's a win.

You feel good about yourself. You were challenged, and you test your will. Sheer animals control themselves for 90 minutes one of the one of the two but uh yeah there was a there's a camaraderie amongst that group that uh is even even stronger than it was before and it was hot you know as each person came off the elevator like it it's returning the hostages from Iran. They each descend on the 737. For some reason, they make them get on a bouncy slide.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the hotel. They're like, this is level. Jerry Ford is there. Like the end of Armageddon when all the oil men are walking off the plane. You know, as each person came off the elevator, I mean, sweating. And, you know, some had the shirt off.

Oh, yeah. Justin Herbert, his hair was a little wet, but his shirt was completely dry. That's another thing that blew me away. The guy is just a beast. Blew him away. He's such a great leader, he doesn't sweat in a non-functioning... Just his hair does, though.

A little wet there, but I mean... You can't be thrilled hearing this, personally. As a sweaty guy? No, I'm cooked. Even for ten minutes. Harbaugh is reading something about you into that. I don't think it's fair of him. I think it's just genetics.

I mean, seriously, dude, this goes for another three minutes, so we can't point it. I'd probably like the last 30 seconds. There's no part of this that I haven't enjoyed. And Joe Hortiz, he was a rock. He was great. He was a rock. I know very little about elevators.

As opposed to some. Definitely the folks in the elevator and Justin leading the group and Joe and Dan Fouts. I mean, it was all said and done. Let's be honest. It was hell. Dodged a bullet. It was reported that you invited members of the Dallas Fire Department.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. The Dallas Fire Department. Take a deep, long bow. You know, I said at one point, I was like, this is Dallas finest. We've got Dallas finest on this. At one point, I said at one point, I was like, this is Dallas finest. We've got Dallas finest on this. At one point, I said. Police department.

And then for the fire department. I can't remember what word they used. Okay, he just talks about the fire department for the next two minutes and how those guys are warriors. That had to be big for your guest from last week. Yeah. I mean, I'd love to ask him about it. What if he was the one pulling Dan Fouts' wife out?

I think he probably would have told us, but maybe not. Oh, he dodged a bullet. He's off, meaning like, it's that kid. I just imagine the elevator like in between the two floors, right? And they had to do the crawl down, and that was the bullet that was dodged. floors right and they had to do the crawl down and that was the bullet yeah it was dodged again he thinks that an elevator getting stuck means it's about to fall yeah which i do in the opposite rarely happens yes if i can't remember the last falling elevator death i heard about yeah and i don't know just the way that he has to frame everything. Like it's a, you know, whether it's, you know, going to the store.

I bet he goes to the store. I was about to say this is a douchebag move, but I kind of do it. And make sure he takes like the best route. Like everything in his life. It can never be anything less than. You can't start in the frozen foods. Right. That'd be a disaster.

Anything less than this is like a terrorist attack. How are we going to win? Yeah. It's very annoying. Who's the test of will? Dodge bullet. Look at Justin Herbert. Look at him. No sweat on his shirt. You know? I mean, he's not going to show up in a pre-draft interview, but

when you know, you know. I knew it was traumatic when Jerry got off the elevator, kind of wobbling and kind of a little unsteady. I love him. Let's take a break. Oh, no. Sorry. How about this?

The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza, Dunza. And the anthem begins, Let's Hope This Fixes America. For our national anthem, we now ask you all in solidarity to please rise or sit or take a knee in order to honor America. Wait a minute. What? Wait. What? Wait.

Oh, and J.J. Abrams has absolutely shattered expectations, Mike. Now, whether people are standing, sitting, or kneeling, they are all honoring America. J.J. Abrams is a wizard, Tom. All wizard. More people sitting now as Abrams has made it irrelevant. Who saw this coming? And there's the rest of the anthem.

All the parts we remembered and loved. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. What's the last hinge? You asking me? Yeah. I could answer that question. I feel like that's a thing of the past, but maybe not for everybody. I'm not doing this.

Come on. Come on. People want to know. Why don't you make them answer? He used to tell us about what he did with his girlfriends and stuff. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's all I was talking about.

He just bragged every Monday morning. Yep. Bro. I had it from behind. It's a pussy. Whoa. Nope. Puppet. Okay, what are you...

I just like to leave it hanging a little bit. You say you don't know who DJ Lethal is. All right. I don't know why I feel like I have to reset. It's Trained Monkey, but it's Jordan Richardson, TC Fleming. Where can we get tickets for this weekend? Happy to reset. Hey, everybody. Link in bio. It's time to answer T.C. Fleming. Where can we get tickets for this weekend? Happy to resend. Hey, everybody.

Link in bio. It's time to answer some of today's viewer mail. You can go to tulipsfortworth.com, I think, is probably the website. The Quaker City Nighthawks Instagram, at QCNH. Yeah, the video has all the information. And that's right, too.

T.C. made a comedy. A comedy short. Where can I see this? Also on the IG, x.com, xvideos.com. Yeah, they tweeted it. You retweeted it. You've seen it. Oh, this one.

Okay, yeah. xnxx.com. Well, I do have this giant audience. I do want to say. Look, we're in Texas. Oh, right. That one's a workaround. Yeah, I do have this giant audience. I do want to say... We're in Texas. Oh, right. That one's a workaround. Yeah, I know it.

I just don't... The user interface is not... It's best in class. No. This is number one. Okay, go for it. I mean, obviously, it's just a preference thing. You know?

But yeah, just if anyone... Like the video... So Quaker City's playing this Friday at Tulips. That's right. We made a promotional video, and that was the first, I haven't even named the production company yet, but I'm starting a production company. Hot topic. Hot topic productions.

And if anyone, just go watch the video, and if you want stuff like that, my email's tc, that's just banter.com. Watch the video, and if you want stuff like that, my email is tc.justbanter.com. You do have a 20-year-old news camera that you bought in hopes to get us. I bought nicer cameras than that. Do you have that one, though, also? Oh, yeah, I got that one. Because I want you to film me throwing baseballs into a trash can. Yeah, yeah, I could do that. With that one.

No doubt. Sweet. To the mail. So not a ton here. Dear Captain Fingerbanger, Brad from Austin here. I'm hopeful that my Ymail account is docking successfully with your Hotmail account.

I'm celebrating my Al Fred Morris with the Cowboys birthday. My birthday smoking circle is Elvis Andrews and Macaulay Culkin. My heroes are Dan Lieberman, Jake Z, Mike Twink, and the Terlingua comic. The Alfred days were... He got so mad at me. That was a tough time. Forty-six? Thirty-two.

Forty-six, but yeah. I think that's the maddest he ever got at me. He got mad about that a lot. Bob can't say Alf. He was, he said it like that, he's like, I don't say Elfred, I say Elfred. That's how it sounded to my ears. You ever heard this, Blake?

He said the exact same thing twice. No. He can't make like a Alf. Like we ask him and then, you know, somebody says, what's the name of the 80s TV character? He's like, Elf. That was a pipe-down like, Elf. Yeah. That was a pipe-thin chunk of effort proportions.

And that's what he got the most mad at you about? He was mad at Dan, too. Anytime you, like, I don't know why he would take it personally. It's just the way he taught. You know, it's like, obviously, it's because he grew up in an area where, like, the people pronounced the vowels a certain way and he got used to it. None of it's like... Tacos.

Yeah, but yeah. If you ever highlight the way that he says tacos, I'm sure that because whenever he got here, he got a lot of crap about you're an outsider and so sensitive to it. I think it's fun. That's how my whole family talks. I don't think it's fun. That's how my whole family talks, so... I don't think it's bad.

Dear Papa Poonplower, if you guys brought the Playboy magazine onto the RV and spilled on it, it could be sold as memorabilia. The DZRV PB would sell for potentially thousands of dollars. Consider auctioning it. Okay.

Blake, please get William Pace to do the Halo theme song. That would rock. Yeah. Jake has grown a pair in the last few months. Happy to see it. I called him a little bitch on my birthday, so I'll take credit for his turnaround. Hitler subbie, number 1942, day three.

Man, there's bad vibes all around this guy. And just one more, this follow-up. We had a conversation about, here, I'll play it. The Prophets and Outlaws viewer mail theme, which is this. We can't decide what the guy is saying at the end. Maybe George will know. Oh, yeah, wait a minute, Uncle Hotmail. Because I hear gross, ghost, post.

I can't decide. Let's listen. It sounds like gross. It sounds like gross. I think it's gross, especially with the context of, is there an email in your box for me? Yeah, gross. Yeah, having the long-time context with the artists that I do, I can confirm that's gross.

Okay. Okay. Well, Jeff writes how he was having a small debate. Am I an idiot for thinking they say post as in he hit the post? But. Yes. I guess we're saying it's. I'm going to say my vote's gross.

It's good levels. Yes, man. See that? It's time for a dumb zone interstitial. You got to keep them separated. All right. A couple quick things here before we get into a new HBO documentary. Hard Knocks has been. I like it this year.

I like it because I'm fascinated with the Bears, with Caleb. I just think it's good. There's been teams on there that – I was not interested in the Jets at all. I was interested in Aaron Rodgers. I've had a bad enough. But Caleb's new and everyone's – he's a hot button, a lightning rod, because he's got cool backpacks. And my wife immediately could call out his bag that he had on, I think, episode three.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a designer bag. And he had two of them where he put his first football in. We'll probably talk about this more when Dan is back tomorrow, but there was one thing from Episode 2 that I pulled that I thought was really, really interesting. And it's like one of these, of course this happens, but I didn't think about it, and I've definitely never heard it.

It's before Caleb Williams is going to make his first start on the road. And, of course, much like what you saw yesterday with chris collinsworth and al michaels regular broadcast crews have to get a little pre-season action so do regular referee crews and so they're talking to him about this crew and it basically it looked kind of like whenever it's at the start of an action movie, like they bring a guy in and they sit him down and they have like this TV up here. For some reason, every time it creates a line, it makes a noise. Sure. Yeah.

And they slide in the file and they're like, here's who we got. They're like ex-special forces, gone rogue. Computer graphic outline of a guy. Yeah. Forces, gone rogue. Computer graphic outline of a guy. Yeah. The whole thing, for some reason, makes transitions like it's an early PowerPoint.

They're sliding files over to him and giving the dossier on this crew. Buffalo, first game. Not to confuse with all these officials, let's just focus on one of these guys. The white hat, Craig Rolstad. The white hat.

If you didn't know anything about This is situation room, dude. Seriously, if you didn't know anything about football and you just heard this and you're like, there's only one of these guys we gotta worry about. The white hat. The white hat, Craig Rolstad. And he's been in the league a long time. He is an athletic

director at a Catholic school in Seattle, Washington. How often do I see these guys? So on a given season, you may see some crews twice, or you may not see a crew at all. It takes about two and a half years to get through all the crews. There's 17 of them. So you'll eventually get through them all, but all these folks are all going to have long careers, and you're going to have a long career, so you want to be good with them.

I've never seen anything like that in hard knocks. It seems incredibly smart to do it. And there's a couple different things where I just really, as a fan of the franchise, was entirely not

prepared for the idea that the Bears are paying attention to any details, doing anything smart. Like, because we are... You can't even make the grass grow, dude. They have tremendous trouble with making the grass grow. Although it's the city parks department that maintains that. That's the big problem is they haven't wrested control away from them.

Corrupt Chicago politicians. But because we did overcome the Alfred thing and remain great friends to this day, Bob had recommended a podcast about the ownership, which reminded me of an incident where they fired Dave Wanstead and announced in the same press release that they were hiring another coach, but hadn't yet agreed to the salary for that coach. And so the reading of the situation was that they're trying to pressure him into accepting their contract by announcing that he's the new head coach

of the team. And he was just like, no. He never coached them. I feel like college teams do that every now and then, too. Yeah. To the boosters. It's already in. That's what I'm used to is the franchise that announces the head coach who's then like,

I don't coach there and I'm never going to. They seem like a smooth operation these days. A lot of the stuff. How much one-on-one time that Flew spends with Caleb, I was a little surprised by. And I think that's great, right? I like it. Yeah. I like the whole operation.

I like Poles. Ryan Poles. I think they'll be fun to root for. So the other sports topic I have before we get to some chimp love and some local sports, primetime, Coach Prime. I knew that this story was not over when I heard the initial exchange, but now a Denver Post reporter, he's a columnist, which is an important distinction,

has been banned from all Colorado football press conferences. And this dates back about a week and a half ago. This first one is not him. Eric Christensen with CBS Sports Colorado. How are you doing? CBS. I'm not you doing? CBS. I'm not doing nothing with CBS. Next question.

Joe Regal, my last sports radio. I ain't got nothing to do with you. It's above that. I ain't got nothing to do with you. I got love for you. I appreciate and respect you. I ain't got nothing to do with you. It's Les Moon, Vance.

I'm here in Denver, not National. You are who you are. CBS is CBS. All right. Joe Regal, my last sports radio. I respect you. I just watch. Okay, so what happened CBS is CBS. All right. Joe, we go my way. I respect you. I just watch. Okay, so what happened here is best I can gather is what's his other son's name, Blake?

Not Shadir, but Shiloh. Shiloh. The safety? I think it was Shiloh. One of them had like a bankruptcy case, right? He hit an officer at a DFW school, I forget which, I don't think it was Prime, perhaps

maybe it was TCA, and caused apparently tremendous damage and so whenever he was the security guard sued him and Shiloh lost the case so, you know, if you're a child, you don't have assets.

So the way to get around shelling out $15 million to a security guard is to declare bankruptcy. And they reported on that, and Deion was not happy about it. Now we get to the next guy he won't talk to. Coach Sean Keeler of the Denver Post. Happy summer, my man. Which is right out of the gate. Happy summer, my man. Which right out of the gate. Happy summer, my man. Don't my man him.

Coach Sean Keeler of the Denver Post. Happy summer, my man. You don't like us, man. Why do you do this to yourself? Come on. You don't like us. Mark likes me, by the way. Mark said he likes me. No, but you don't. You don't.

He was so prepared for that, by the way, just by his tone of voice. He knew he was about to get in a fight. Yeah, both of them, really. Yeah. You don't. Why do you do this, though? No, no, I'm sorry. Two-parter if I could.

No, I'm serious. Why do you do this? You know you don't. Why do you do this? Two-parter if I could. You can't. You cannot. And this was right after the Aflac ad.

Which one? Remember, he had that guy that said, Dion, I just want to thank you so much for... Aflac really helped me through my accident. Yeah, the plant question. Yeah, can you just explain what's so good for the average American? Great coverage. They did that?

Yeah, yeah. Somebody asked a question. It was literally dropped the full thing of you know great coverage i was in an accident this summer oh god did he identify an outlet he's from i think so but it's still it i feel like it might have been with the university but yeah i'll keep playing blake and see if you can find that if you have a chance like you know you don't but why do you do that? No, no, no. It's not about that. Football question.

Football question. Why do you do that? It would be hard for me to really engage in someone I don't like or something I don't like. I'm just asking why. Like, why? I've got to pay the bills. What did I do? You didn't do anything.

It's not about that. But this is a football question. I'm asking you why. Yeah, you can ask. Okay, answer me. Because you want me to answer you. Yeah, okay. That's fair. Why? Why? Because I have questions. Give me you why. Yeah, you can ask. Okay, answer me. Because you want me to answer you. Yeah, okay, that's fair. Why?

Why? Because I have questions. Give me your why. What's your why? What do you want to know? Why are you always on the attack? What do we do? Where am I on attack today?

Where am I on attack? I'm not going to give you opportunities to be on attack. But I'm asking you why. Like, what does it do for you? Like, what happened? It's not about me. But what happened to get you like this?

Oh, that right there. To get you like this. It's the childhood. Yeah, that feels like what he's fishing for. He's like, well... It's a good question. No, I'm serious.

Because I want to help. No, I'm serious. I want to help. Because he's fishing for. Well, it's a good question. No, I'm serious. Because I want to help. No, I'm serious. I want to help. Because it's not normal. We can talk about that. We can talk about that. Okay. Can I ask you a football question?

No. Seriously. No, we can talk about that. When we talk about that, I'll talk about that with you. Can we ask you a football question, please? When I talk about that, we talk about that. We can talk about that. I have a question over here.

Let's go. Do you talk to that? Estes Park Review over here. How do you feel about your right tackle position? Here you go. Crested Butte times. Here you go, TC. You're good.

Coach Prime, Alex Ramirez, My Life Sports Radio. This is a non-football related question. I recently had a condition, medical condition, about two months ago. And thank God I had Aflac. I'm serious. That's a good one. You're an ambassador for my school thank you how important is it for everyone to have a flack on their lives like amazing right it makes a commercial you believe in the gaps you know that we can't cover I mean a flack is phenomenal but he gets into the Aflac read.

What's going on? It sounds like you're asking me a question like I'm doing a commercial with you to get around some of the rules we have. I'm like, no, it's exactly what you're doing. Is that the only reason this isn't happening more in life?

Why at every White House presser now, or like war report or anything, they're just not like, tell us a little bit about why that Northrop Grumman missile system is working so beautifully.

There's exciting things coming out of Lockheed. Yeah, explain to the shareholders. The way you guys are describing it, I was thinking that the guy had some kind of story and he alluded to one. That's how I remembered it, but no. But he really didn't give one at all. No.

So, yeah, they've now banned this guy. Well, yeah, he hijacked the press conference with Affleck. No, no, not that guy. That guy has carte blanche from the athletic department. After a series of sustained personal attacks on the football program and specifically

Coach Prime, which is how they refer to him in official releases. A personal attack on a program is a little weird, too. That's not a person. That's true. It's a program. The athletic department department in conjunction with the football program have decided to not take questions from him, blah, blah, blah.

So when asked for a follow-up by the Denver Post, an SID cited his uses of the phrase false profit deposition Dion. Okay. I like that From the makers of the plea maker

Funny Planet Prime That one's cool Called the program a circus Spoke of the Dion Kool-Aid And finally Referred to him as the Bruce Lee of BS, which I think is kind of awesome.

It's a bit wordy. It's not nice. No, it's not nice. I'd be upset if someone called me that. So, yeah, he's booted for the year. And then I'll play a little bit of this. He was asked about it in his next press conference, or at least maybe this was over the weekend, their last prep.

Over the weekend, you stupid bitch. Hey, Mark Kisla, Denver Gazette. How are you doing, sir? Good. Two-parter. Okay. Go back to the elite competitor. Yes, sir.

Do you think an elite competitor blocks the outside noise or feeds on the outside noise? That's a wolf in sheep's clothing question for sure, and I do like it. The guy's a little nervous trying to deliver it. Deion gives kind of a BS answer, and then I think the guy follows up. I hope that I'm covering you from now through the college football playoff. I hope so, too. up. I hope that I'm covering you from now through the college football playoff. I hope so, too. Yeah.

I pray so. But I'm also known as a person that sometimes asks less than supportive questions or critical questions. You may be able to tell by my extremely sure-of-myself tone that I'm a real bulldog. a tone that I'm a real bulldog. I'm known as someone who... A bit tenacious? I hope that I'm covering you from now through the college football playoff. I hope so, too. I pray so.

I pray so. But I'm also known as a person that sometimes asks less than supportive questions. That I don't love your chances. So if I ask a negative question, will you not answer them anymore? This guy's wife hates him. That's being negative right now. Like, you take an approach that I'm going to be negative. I'm not negative to anybody in here.

I will challenge you and ask you why or where is this coming from. So I'm not built like that. I'm not built to hate. I'm not a hateful guy. I come with love. I think if anybody in here has had encounters with me, I don't come with the bulljump. He's such an interesting guy to me because, I mean, we met him,

and he did seem like a really nice guy from the standpoint of he's a super famous guy who didn't big time everybody. He also might have been very high after just recently having part of his foot removed. That's when you met him? Right after the foot? I'm pretty sure. That's interesting. I'm pretty sure. But he was gentle and cool,

but I also think just everything he does, it smells like such horseshit. You maybe would call him the Bruce Lee of BS. I might. Yeah, no, I... He's such... It's an overused word, but he's literally polarizing. There's a lot

of times where it just all seems like too much noise. Just so trifling just arguing with everyone being petty about everything and i in like whenever it's like that it's just this is exhausting i hate him i don't want to hear about him anymore but there's times whenever he might be god like are you seeing the feel clearly? Like, whenever he was a player, it's like, whatever he wants to say, obviously, let him say it.

I've never seen the position played like this before. This is the most exciting defensive thing that's ever happened in my lifetime. And then, whatever, you know, the shine was really off him after the prime prep thing, and so whenever he says I'm taking over a Division II school or whatever,

I'm not super excited about it. But whenever you find out halfway into the season that he hasn't lost the game and actually they're dominating and they've got all these amazing players and then they're going to come with him to a Power 5 school, like, oh, that's so exciting. And then he beats the participant in the national championship game from the year before.

That's why I can't say anything about him. Sorry. That destroyed my heart. That's whenever it felt like. He is a god to me, I suppose. Yeah. Because don't we all want to see excellence? That's, you know, as much what you're following sports for as anything,

is to see these transcendent performances. And he's given so many of them, and if he could translate that into coaching, which like, all makes sense on paper at the college level, that someone like him would be able to recruit elite athletes that will respect him in a way that they're not going to respect any other person on the face of the planet. And you can get all of those guys playing together at a stadium that looks really cool because it's nestled in the mountains and it's a black and gold uniform. It's great color scheme. Like, it all sounds amazing to me.

And I just get real bummed whenever they go nearly winless in Pac-12 play and then argue with Denver Gazette. All right, before we do the chimp talk, DC, you want to tell us what you've been wanting to tell us? Definitely, definitely. We are broadcasting today from South Lake, Texas. And I got to hear in over the weekend from a listener of ours who is a Southlake dad like Dan

that they had their Southlake Touchdown Club gala dinner this weekend. Oh, boy. And the details are at once exactly what you think and at another absolutely astounding. what you think, and at another, absolutely astounding. See, this is their Night of Champions presented by Basin Ventures, which is clearly just oil and gas. You know, like, of course.

It was held at a Mercedes-Benz dealership. Did they have that at any of your schools? None of mine, though. And so, it's a... You got an auction, and you got a little casino action. Casino raffle.

Oh, I love the casino night. Casino night. We're going to call it Casino Royale. Oh, whoa. Yeah. What's it mean? Is it like royal? Just give us your money.

Some of the live auction items being bid for is Safari. Oh, boy. Yep, of course. It does say airfare and taxidermy service is not included. You're going to have to stuff anything you get on your own.

So it's a killing Safari. It's not just a look at these elephants. Come on, dude. Do you know the room you're in? It's got a picture of a guy next to a killing safari. It's not just a look at these elephants. Come on, dude. Do you know the room you're in? Yeah. He's got a picture of a guy next to a dead elephant here. So it's pronouncing it pretty obviously. Stars suite, Cowboys weekend experience. Then, of course, they have the Mavs experience.

But because this is the Southlake Touchdown Club, we can elevate this a little bit. You'll be sitting not only courtside, you'll be sitting courtside in February, this February, next to future first-rounder Quinn Ewers. What? It's not who I thought you were going to say, but they have to get some interest in people from Southlake

going to a Mavericks game. They auctioned off a courtside seat with a former quarterback at the high school. While he's going to be preparing for the draft. That's awesome. It's this February. That's incredible. We could do it.

You, the show, the network could put that together. I think the auction's over. Someone already won it. So unfortunately, it's not going to be us. You can talk to him, whoever won it. It does seem like a ploy to try to get Southlake interested in going to an NBA game. You think they're against the whoever won it. It does seem like a ploy to try to get Southlake interested in going to an NBA game. You think they're against the NBA?

Yeah. Overall, right. Of course, suite at the Waste Management Open. Okay. If you're interested in that. We're not done with the hunting. They also have a hog hunt on Advertise. And I've done hog hunting myself.

And it's not always glamorous, but the picture in this one is two guys with heavy machinery in a helicopter. Of course. Yeah, that's the way you do it. Oh, yeah. With Sarah Palin. She used to shoot wolves from a helicopter. Custom Dragon golf cart. Also right up your alley.

If I could pick anything on this list, I want the golf cart. I want a golf cart. Also right up your alley. If I could pick anything on this list, I want the golf cart. This is a high school booster club. Yes. Dude, we might be at a million bucks right now. Yeah, I don't think they raised...

I got the totals of what they went for, and I was surprised. I would have paid a lot more than what they ended up paying for the Ewers thing. I think the Ewers thing was like $11,000. Argyle's just selling commercials. Yeah. Yeah, there's no... Richland might have hit me up for like, you know, you can have lunch with you or something.

They also had a Taylor Swift signed guitar. Some poor dad was going to this event with his 15-year-old daughter. He's like, I heard about the guitar. And they're telling Taylor Swift, hey, this is for kids. Right. Really, it's just for a new jugs machine and to re-turf the fields. It's also signed by Quinn Ewers. The headstock. Confusing.

So those were the live auction items. Then you also have your raffle prizes. The raffle prizes, we got a vacation weekend in Turks and Caicos. Turks and Caicos. Byron Nelson experience, VIP experience. And then the big one, if they draw out your ticket from the raffle thing, an AR-15. Looks like a really nice one.

Yeah. I bet. A Black Rain Ordnance Billet AR-15. Get the dragon insignia. It's green. Yeah, the dragon logo. Pick it up from the school. Dude, I love the... Yeah. I want it good. No age restrictions. Pick it up at the school dude I just I love the

I want it good no age restrictions pick it up at the front office there's just some guy in the crowd who's like come on Turks and Caicos come on Turks and Caicos

they're like AR-15 and he's like not so bad not so bad I want it I was told that during

you know they've got obviously a number of speeches given. I want to get the details right. I believe it was someone associated with Patriot Mobile, like kind of storms to the front of stage. Storm, Joe. I like a word.

And let them all in prayer. Yeah. Just want to make sure we all center God in this event. I just wanted to make sure we all sent our God in this event. Then there was also another speech where I think it was – so there was a number of NFL players there because one of their – I think – I don't even know because some of them were guys that have no ties to the area whatsoever. So I was like, why are they here?

And it was – I think that their agent is a big Southlake guy. Yeah, do him a solid. I think it was him that was like giving the speech of, you know, a lot of people say a lot of things about this community. And they say that because they think that we think that we're better than them. And we do think that. And it's because we are better than them. And we do think that. And it's because we are better than them. I love it.

The whole dragon touchdown club is just going nuts. Just chest bumping each other. Isn't that like as you were replacing the red circle with a line through it, stickers over the dragon stickers? This is what you used to do, right, Jake? Yeah. As you were doing that, wasn't it because you were worried

that somewhere in some Mercedes-Benz dealership they were all talking about how much they agreed that they're better than you? Yes, without a doubt. I knew it then. I'm the OG of this. It's just unfortunately I now have to kind of live here for a little bit.

And I like winning black football games. There were NFL linemen there. I don't know what the substance of it was, but I believe one of the touchdown club dads tried to mix it up with one of them. I'm not surprised by this. I was like, what does he look like? And the guy I'm talking to, he's like, he looked like me. He was not ready to take on an NFL lineman. People get

hammered at these things. Yeah, why are you going? Yeah, I mean, it's open bar, usually. I don't know. Maybe they could make a cash bar or you pay $500 to get in. That's not stopping anyone. Yeah, that's true. And that's a big part of the way that, at least the way

I always heard it was, yeah, you can look at the reported salary of a high school football coach, but what you don't know is what they're getting from the booster club for speaking fees, which is basically there's no salary cap. You can just pay them

$20K to come out and talk for an hour. I mean, it was a great speech. Yeah. Well, final detail. Many, many beautiful, amazing people in the crowd. A number of NFL alums. Then my source indicates Taylor Sheridan also there. There's no doubt.

Of course he was. You know that as Blake? No. The Yellowstone and 17 or whatever writer. Yeah, the guy getting Jerry and buying up everything. Yeah. And the guy that everybody in Fort Worth wants to dress like now. Ugh, yuck. God, big yuck.

Just looks like Pee Wee Herman when he goes to the Alamo. Just imagine standing next to Mr. Yellowstone. $21 hamburger. Like some guy who's the top sales guy this Mercedes dealership is trying to fight in NFL line. But then the night turns around quickly for him as he wins and they are 15. Okay, so there's a documentary

on HBO right now. And they're doing this one with the slow drip. Chimp crazy. And it started last week. Episode 2 was last night. Did you watch any of this, Jordan?

Not episode 2. That'll be tonight. So I don't know how many there are going to be. It's kind of an interesting idea. It's from the maker of... Interesting idea in that they're not releasing them all at once. It's from the maker of Tiger King.

I don't recall Tiger King being a weekly release. Netflix is a pretty big all at once. I can't remember a max that's been all at once. It was Netflix? No, it was all at once. It was all at once and it was during COVID. That's the eat up or whatever.

I remember because I started working on your show right at COVID. And your big idea was let's watch Tiger King in one weekend, which was six hours. And I said, I can't do that. And he said, what else do you have to do? Because we were all locked in. Yeah. And so, yeah. Knocked it out.

Well, this one they're going to do every week, which I kind of like because I'm not a binge guy. I guess I don't really have a place to have opinion if I'm not a binge guy. I guess I don't really have a place to have opinion if I'm not a binge guy but I like to be able to read about these things. It's basically people who want to own chimps. Primarily when they're babies. And there's one main lady

who's kind of telling the story and she's telling the story of a place in Missouri which which is where apparently, what was the number they gave? No surprise there. Of course. Apparently, Blake, Missouri, no laws regarding animal ownership. Like, none. Checks out. Even in Texas, we have some.

This lady at this place has bred three-fourths of all the chimps in the United States. Some way, somehow, they trace back to her preservation. She's not a sanctuary. What does she call it? Chimp Center or something. She has some dolled-up name. Yeah. Center.

I love stats like those. Institute for Chimp Research or something. She has some dolled up name. Yeah. Center. Research Institute for Chimp Research or something. So a lot of what she has are also chimps are pretty kick ass when they're young but when they get like five people don't want them anymore.

So they have to have somewhere to go and she'll take some of those in. Because they head straight for the balls. Yeah. And there's also the chimps that were in commercials and movies but then age out of because they head straight for the balls yeah and uh there's also the chimps that were in commercials and movies but then age out of because they live very very long lives like similar to human lives yeah but they don't really want them to act once they're past probably 10 maybe even less than that sounds like ho yeah right the one circus lady that they talked to briefly in the beginning

and then kind of phased out I assume she's coming back I don't know sure she seemed to say that she had like a lifelong relationship with her chimps right so I think if you're a pro's pro

that maybe you can continue but your average person like just a family that's like hey why don't we get a chimp So I think if you're a pro's pro that maybe you can continue. But your average person, like just a family that's like, hey, why don't we get a chimp? You can't handle it. You got to get rid of it. That's around five they're calling someone like these people in Missouri. Yeah. And so, but still even the ones that are like Tonka, who's like the main one, he was in a bunch of movies.

He's 38 and he's way retired and way way not doing well had a stroke yeah eventually they get well they say who knows okay we'll see matt perry monkey uh so the weird thing about this is since the guy from tiger king made it everyone in the wild animal community knows who he is now and so no one will talk to him. He can't get in touch with exotic animal people anymore. He cannot interview Deion Sanders. Prime is like... No. Des won't

talk to him. Yeah, the documentary maker. Yeah. And so, what he does is, he hires what he calls a proxy director. Love it. A beard. So it's a guy who knows a lot about this world because he used to work in circuses and he used to work in animals and i think he even kind of knows a couple of the people who worked at the chimp camp he did 14 months in jail for animal smuggling yeah i think

he said i had a uh a small relationship a relationship with the federal government they show like the headline. 14 months for... So he's the one who goes in with hidden cameras and stuff to get their trust. They never actually see the guy who's making the movie. He has a crew with him. It's that guy's crew, but he just

is like... I found that to be pretty ethically questionable. Dude, that's exactly what I wrote down. Yeah. It's a little shady. Like, if you're in the situation where I want to make this documentary, but no one wants to talk to me,

I am very impressed that he came up with a solution to that, but I don't think that you should. If you're trying to make a documentary about people who don't want to talk to you, you just shouldn't. Like, tricking them into talking to you. And like there's some of that in all journalism that you want to make the person feel comfortable

and you really, what you ideally like is for them to feel a little more comfortable than they ought to. It's possibly a truer documentary though. You know? He's really getting people to say what he's... truer documentary, though. You know? He's really getting people to say what he's... That's a good point. If the aim is to just, you know, just document this.

Yeah, yeah. If you think that getting a transparently... Like, just... If getting to the truth and presenting the truth is the only thing you're doing here, he is doing that, and he's doing it in a way that overcomes the obstacles that have been

put in front of them. But I just think that you owe something to the subjects that you're publishing all this information about in the public. And if they would have looked at you and said, I don't think it's in my best interest to talk to that guy, and you intentionally went around it and then published the exact stuff that they're worried about that seems like you're doing wrong by them. Yeah and I'm still waiting for the part in the documentary which will

probably be at the end where they tell the people like yeah I mean I'm just an actor basically. The same guy you didn't want to talk to he just sent me. Blake they made a lot of their money in chimp parties, which are basically for a birthday party, they'll bring over a chimp, like a six-month-old chimp, and he's just cute as can be, man.

He's wearing a party hat. Yeah, he's got little suspenders on and stuff. You've probably heard the stat that their DNA is like 97.5% human. So the amount of things that they can do and feel and watching them put on pants. One lady, there's one family that taught theirs to drive. And he would drive around their property, and he would drink wine. Well, I mean, booking that monkey for White Elephant, I mean, just going through all the

pictures, he was everywhere. Yeah. He was busy. He's at the Mercedes-Benz dealership this past weekend. Filming a Dunstan Checks In remake. Got to get a female chimp, though, for the remake. By the way,

I didn't follow through on it, but I think they're making a female-casted fight club. Ah, man. So, get ready for a terror attack. Melissa McCarthy. I don't like that. It's always her.

So, for the chimp parties. As a big advocate for female rights, I want them to have their own things. Correct. So these parties are making money. There's chimps helping you open your presents, and it's all fun. And they did show a news report, though, where at one of the parties, it's pretty light, but one of the chimps, or the chimp, grabs at a kid's leg, kind of. It's a toddler.

It's a toddler's leg. The smallest child. He's just yanking. Okay, so then they're doing the interview with the guy. This is an amazing moment. Please tell me he has cleft palate. No, so they're doing the interview with this guy. He's the handler of the chimp, and he's somehow involved in ownership.

He was dating the lady or something. Yeah. And so he's giving an interview, and he's like, listen, this chimp almost always docile. He does not go after kids. He's not aggressive. And it's very clear when you're watching this man speak that his nose is gone. He has a pretty makeshift piece of nose that has been fashioned on. In his credit, he said almost always.

Yeah, and like TC said, you're just hoping, like, tell me this guy was in combat. Some kind of birth defect. Yeah. Would love of birth defect. Yeah. Would love a birth defect. And within 30 seconds, they hit you with, like, at one point, such chimp bit his nose off. God damn it. And his girlfriend or wife had to go back into the enclosure to retrieve it. Oh, that's right.

So that they could get to the hospital. Same thing in Tiger King. The one handler was missing an arm. That's true. It's apparently a feature of all these. Did strongly recall dirty work. Yeah, that's true. The Saigon whore.

As TC said, it's $65,000 for a baby chimp. That's crazy. And under Biden, that has to have six figs. He did this. Put a sticker on a chimp's ass. There's a really creepy undercurrent of the whole thing, obviously, but they keep saying things like, so right out of the gate, Blake, they tell you the thing about a chimp child or baby is The thing about a chimp child or baby is they don't go off into the world and develop their own family units necessarily. They want their mom forever.

So they don't go have friends necessarily like we do. Yeah. And these people are enamored by the idea of if I can raise this thing, it will always want me. And it will show me unconditional love. And at one point, the lady even said, they don't grow up and get a mind of their own. They'll be your friends for life. Which is something so dark

about that. Is this starting at childhood as well, TC? Yes. Oh, God, yes. Yeah. Talk to her, Dad. You'll figure this out in about five minutes. So they get sued. Yeah, that's track one of the documentary. It's just, you know...

All of them are like, we want one shot of a lady in a pink room holding a stuffed monkey being like, the love of a child is fucking bullshit. The love of a chimp is the only thing real in this world. That's basically it. She's like, you'll never experience anything like the love I get from this primate. They get sued by PETA, of course. Because... That was first foreshadowed in the documentary by showing a bumper sticker

that instead of Calvin, it's a chimp, but he's peeing on the PETA. Yeah. How did they... I can't remember how they... Oh, you know how it happened. Somebody who worked there, who was really into working with primates, kind of rolled on them. And they gave them the cool camera glasses PETA did.

And they recorded everything they saw. So they got sued. During the time they got sued, they had two different uh escapes of chimps into basically just this rural town wandering the highway yeah trying to get into a car there's a funny part where somebody behind him is rolling on it yeah oh shit he's gonna rob him yeah the chimp is like sticking his head into a car window. She feeds him McDonald's Happy Meals.

Peter can't be... Oh, he wants a toy. Just loving that. If it's bad to feed your loved ones McDonald's, then take me to jail right now. Primates do fine on McDonald's. I can tell you that yeah so they do the raid there's an interesting part where there's no cameras

allowed but they know the raid is coming so the documentary team just decks the whole place out with hidden cameras Justice Department can't be thrilled by that yeah that seemed shady to me and then you tell me if you think this lady has a solid handle yeah the way

that these documentary people i'm sorry but the the way that they're handling this do you feel like they're a moral authority to be judging the way that this no yeah i don't know they've got some underhanded i was bothered so tell me if you think the the chimp lady has a solid understanding uh understanding of how how custody court works. I decided I'm going to fix everything on that 365-page report. Just because it was old doesn't mean you can't fix it up.

Watch yourself. He's going to bang. Oh, here comes the check. Connie was very anxious to spend all this money to fight to keep her babies. I said, don't worry about it. They're your kids. How can they take your kids? I mean, this is America.

You know, the judicial system will protect us because we haven't done anything wrong. They're your kids. Yeah, no. There's like a whole branch of court that exists to take people's kids your honor may i begin by pointing out she calls them children yeah yeah but just the idea of they can't just take your kids this is america no no i know a lot of people who who learned that the hard way. So yeah, I watched a little bit of the second episode.

Have we gotten to the person being brutally injured? I remember that happening. Travis and Chip. It probably happens multiple times. Yeah, they get to it in episode two. Okay. It was in Connecticut. Yeah, I thought that was coming. He was born there, I'm pretty sure. Travis? Yeah, I thought that was coming.

He was born there, I'm pretty sure. Travis? Yeah. I would have picked. That would have been down somewhere around 50 if I had to choose the state this happened in. Connecticut? I know. I just remember the story.

I read this on the Wikipedia page. It was the lady who owned it, Colleen, because they ended up talking to her daughter. I can't wait to watch this. That's a chimp owner name. It really is. It was the lady who owned it, Colleen, because they ended up talking to her daughter. I can't wait to watch this. That's a chimp owner name. It really is. Absolutely is. 100%. All of these people, there's not a single one that you're like, she owned a chimp?

Yeah. She had a friend over and the friend was holding a Tickle Me Elmo. That was Travis' favorite toy. And he just went into a rage and ripped her whole face off.

And they play the 911 call. It's like Christmas of 94. Tickle Me Elmo. They play the... I shouldn't laugh about this. They play the 911 call. And there's a lady. Funniest 911 calls go.

Who is clearly in distress. And she's like. 9-11. He's. They're like what's your emergency? And he's like. The lady's like. He's killing her.

He's killing her. Send the police. And the dispatcher said. Who's killing her? And I guarantee you. She was not. Ready for what came next. Because the dispatcher said, who's killing her? And I guarantee you she was not ready for what came next because the lady goes, my chimpanzee!

Oh no! Back up. Alright, there we go. On sports. Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News. and the news today is brought to you by early bird cbd early bird cbd that is a texas company i know what you're thinking when you hear cbd gummies this ain't that if you have a drug test to take this ain't that that's because uh early bird cbd gummies come with 2.5 milligrams of natural thc

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Whatever. Whenever. Yeah, this is not a nighttime. You can operate on this. Yeah. So go for it. They are legal because they are derived from hemp. They contain less than 0.3% THC by weight.

Like I said, if you've got a drug test, same for you. But if you're looking to feel good, it definitely is earlybirdcbd.com. But don't pay full price. Don't. You would be a fool. Please don't. You would be a fool. Use code dumbzone and you'll get 20% off. What do you guys know about this gentleman, Pavel

Durov? Nothing. Until today? Or nothing still? Still nothing. He is the founder of Telegram. Okay. And he is often called Europe's Mark Zuckerberg. He's worth $15 billion. He's got to be a pedophile, right?

Well, he was arrested. Whoever founded Telegram, like if you're just asking me, point, you know, Tabula Rasa. Yeah. The guy that founded the thing where you the secure messaging service yeah now we'll get into why he was arrested in a second he founded russia's version of facebook in 2006 facebook yeah um which i don't know this feels weird how... If something that big already exists and you just create such and such's version of it, how hard could that have been?

I don't know, but he... Like Jin Yang creating the Chinese Pied Piper? Yeah. In Silicon Valley? Yeah. Of course, he left the company because the company was You know pretty much owned by the Kremlin

Or at least Kremlin linked He's had problems with Russia before Because They are like Oh that's awesome that you have all this encrypted information Give it to us Of course And he says no

I wouldn't say no if I were him Well he was able to get out. He is the world's 121st wealthiest person with 15 billion. And the reason... Like, even our guys didn't say no. Come on. Like Facebook and

everybody? Yeah. They're not going to torture you. That's what Snowden died for, to let you know. Yeah, you're not going to get your face poisoned. Yeah. Eh, you might. You're going going to get your face poisoned. You might. You're going to get run off the road. Telegram is super popular in Russia as well as Ukraine. It is pretty popular with your right-wing hate groups. It's popular with terror groups.

It's good for organized crime and trafficking of the human variety. And, yeah, I guess France had kind of had enough of it. Interesting country. Yeah, I know, right? It was an investigation into organized crime, drug trafficking, fraud, the distribution of pornographic images of minors on the platform. See? fraud the distribution of pornographic images of minors on the platform.

And he says, or Russia says, like, hey, France is not exactly playing along here. Is it illegal there? You know what I saw the other day was the original letter that the owners of Pirate Bay

sent whatever committee in the United States. Because I think it might have been Sweden that it was based in. Sweden or Denmark. And it was the biggest fuck you you could imagine. Yeah, dude.

I'll just assume it's Sweden. Nothing that you've charged us with is illegal in Sweden, which if I need to make you aware of is not in the United States. Basically, it seems like this would be like Zuck getting arrested abroad. Like if he was just out

gallivanting around. Just with tons of sunscreen on. Riding that weird surfboard that's like three feet out of the water thing. We saw one of the water thing. We saw one of those in Idaho. The tricks are amazing. Was it Zuck?

No, no. It could have been. He's good at water activities. Yeah, probably. He's got time to practice. What a weird transformation. So, I don't know. I'm a little confused. Like, couldn't you charge anyone?

I guess I, whatever. I didn't know the guy's name, so of course I'm not going to have some insightful analysis of this whole thing. But anyone who's... This is why a lot of our laws around these things are structured the way that they are, is that we specifically make it so that if someone that Mark Zuckerberg doesn't know sends child porn on Facebook, you can't charge Mark Zuckerberg with child porn charges

because then no one would ever run any internet sites and we want internet sites. So how are they able to make it stick to this guy personally? I don't know, other than he's very obstinate about providing documents. Yeah, okay. Tell government investigators F you enough times, I don't know, other than he's very obstinate about providing documents. Yeah, okay. Tell government investigators F you enough times, they'll probably find something. Right, yeah.

And I think there's probably pretty open money laundering occurring. I expect, yeah. What was our deal with the classified ads we were going over? Was that a similar situation? The back page thing? Yeah. Or it's like, who do you go after? Michael Moody did a podcast on

the rise and fall of back page. It's doing great now. They clean it up? No. For real? Yeah, dude. Luis J. Gomez, when he was on, Matt and Shane was giving a review of what it's like to hire hookers in various cities.

And it sounds easy and frank. I don't know. On the one hand, there was part of me that's like, boy, that sounds like a great hobby. On the one hand, there was part of me that's like, boy, that sounds like a great hobby. Then he's like, well, one out of every ten, you'll get a guy who says he's with the cartel and he'll publish your home address and pictures of your loved ones and be like, I'm going to come and kill all of them if you don't send me $3,000. But if you just tell them to have off, they won't do it. That was his analysis.

Smart. So I learned over the weekend who Kick Kennedy is. Yeah, yeah, we all did. I know. I know Kick. Do you know Kick personally? Yeah. I was going to say...

You know Kick personally? Yeah. There was at least a decent chance of this. I know he's got some Kennedys. It's Kick. It's Kick. Kick's the big one? Number one?

Kick and her brother. Kick and her brother. Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. I was at a buddy's house, if I can digress. Please. In Western Hollywood. I'd like to hear about this.

Kilby, friend of mine, who's directed a few Son of Stan videos and a close friend. A guy who co-directed with him is childhood friends with those children. He's a buddy, and he just lives in this small little bungalow kind of doesn't doesn't look like he has a lot of money but he has a lot of money not kilby but his his

across across the way neighbor who directed some videos for me he's friends with those kennedy kids from back in the day and uh they would just be over hanging out at his little bungalow and i just thought that they were just people until like you know i was told a little bit later kicks actually a kennedy and uh her brother was over one kicks brother was over one time and uh my buddy was like hey go out go out onto formosa which is a street in between uh santa monica and sunset boulevard in west hollywood it's like just go out to the street look at all the cars parked along here. Guess which one is his car.

And I was like, okay, he's doing a bid. It's probably going to be like an old Corolla or something out there. I go out and I guess like, it's just this Toyota Corolla. It's 97, who cares? He's like, nope, guess again. And okay, it's this Cadillac,

this 80s Cadillac that's kind of cool. He's like, no. And meanwhile, there's a tow truck sitting in the middle of the street with the hazards on. And he drives the tow truck. And he just pulls up where he wants and throws on the hazards and drives the tow truck around. Yeah. That's what it's like to be a Kennedy kid. And being a Kennedy, like all of the Kennedys, theys the curse you know they say part of the curse is the death wish and he told a story about going

down to like nicaragua or somewhere and buying an old land cruiser and not shipping it back he's got all the money in the world but him and his buddy just driving it back and like knowing the fork in the road if we go that way we're probably safe if we go that way, we're probably safe. If we go that way, it's nothing but corrupt state police and cartel. So of course they went that way. Drove all the way back

to California, just like tempting fate. Finding yourself in Nicaragua with a man who does not care if he lives or dies, frankly, praise for the other one. That's tough.

That's scary. Yeah. Wow. But no, I've been hammered with kick a few times. That's so great. Did they grow up? I would figure East Coast.

Yeah, I think they did. I think they are East Coast. I think my buddy knows them from like Eastern Shore of Maryland. I believe. So did kick ever mention the whale thing to you? No. It was before that but but i met cheryl hines my buddy who directed some son of stan videos directed a thing about hunter s thompson

that she stars in because that family funded that movie so there's a movie about hunter s thompson running for uh mayor of aspen or vale wherever he had a wherever he did that and she stars and it was like that family kind of funded my buddy's movie which is pretty cool the parts of it I've seen I did some of the music for it there's like some drum solos anyways I'm sorry Jake

no I think that's I don't know that might be bigger than the Beatles drummer's drummer knowing the Kennedys Ben Trump with kick I don't know. That might be bigger than the Beatles drummer's drummer. Knowing the Kennedys? Ben Trump with kick? Yeah. I mean, certainly.

I think before, kick wasn't on the lips of the world until now. But in my world today? No bigger name. It's only recently that you found out I was a part of Camelot. That's true. So the story is somebody dug up, well, here's the reason why. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are apparently done. No!

And Ben Affleck is hanging out with Kick Kennedy. How old would you say? Your age? No, I think Kick's probably like 36, a little bit younger than me. I don't know. Between 35 and 40, maybe, is my guess. Ben Affleck, 52.

That's not insane. How old is she? It's not great. It doesn't say. If you're 52 and you're Ben Affleck. Wait, she was 24. She's 36. Okay.

Because it says the interview was 2012, 24. Yeah, if you're 52-year-old Ben Affleck, the most responsible you could possibly be is dating 36. Yeah, you're right. That's the max. So because apparently Ben Affleck is hanging out with her, people are now digging up information. Also, I do strongly believe that there can be no inappropriate age gaps at 36. If you're 36 and you're not handicapped or something,

no one's tricking you into that. You know what I mean? I would agree, unless you're on the top side of it. What do you mean? Like 36 and 17 is still not cool. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Strongly agree with that. I see nothing wrong with 36.

If you're dating an 80-year-old and you're 36, it's not like the 80-year-old tricked you. So people are digging up information, interviews that she's done, and one of the ones that she's done, she talks about how her dad, which we know he's super stoked on the environment in weird ways, she recounted a tale from a childhood vacation where her dad, who has a thing for animal skulls and skeletons, took her down to the beach with a chainsaw

to retrieve the head of a dead beached whale. They bungee-corded the head to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back home. Yeah, that's when he needed it. They drove with a beached whale skull on their minivan? Yes.

She said, quote, every time we accelerated on the highway... Skull would be so much better. It's not skull. It's the whole head. They chainsawed it off. Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car. And it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out,

and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day-to-day stuff for us. Okay. Sorry. It all makes sense. Yeah. How is she related to... She's his son.

...Bear Man. Daughter. Oh, excuse me, daughter, yeah. Daughter. And that's the bear guy? Yeah, she's the daughter of the bear guy. Daughter of the next vice president of the United States of America. Come on.

I have to say, it's the most insane thing. He's sucked on animals. But like the joke you just made, whenever you hear this, the bear thing was previously just unimaginable. But against the backdrop of this, you're like, oh, okay. I really kind of drop all my questions about the bear thing.

It probably happened exactly as he said. He apparently just does this all the time. Yeah. It could be, there could be, I mean, it's like whenever you find out about a musician, and certainly, Jordan, you live in this world, it drives me crazy when I see people recording an album that never comes out. Sure. Or I'll see people that I really like jamming together or something,

and I'm like, man, that looks fucking sick. And then it just never comes out. And I just, always my brain, I'm like, it's like if I lost something in my house and can't find it, I'm like, I want to hear that. I need to hear it. I know it exists. That's how I feel about the 200 other

RFK animal stories. They're so there. They're there. I know they're there. He probably did one this month. Yeah, and like, there's really no reason now for him not to tell us because he's, there's no chance you can think he gets weirder.

Yeah. He documented 40 occasions of cheating on his pregnant wife in one year, and then she hung herself. Like, there's nothing that could be weirder about this guy. Yeah. So just tell us now. Just have the highest rated television show of all time. But Peapaw likes him better than J.D. Vance, so

this could get interesting. You think they booed him? That'd be awesome. Just a late turn. I'm hearing that. Those are the rumor mill inside the Beltway. He spent an unprecedented election season. I think that you should be prepared for anything. MIA threw her support

behind Donald Trump. Really? Did you guys cover the donuts last week? No, we didn't really talk about it. No, but yeah. That's an amazing piece of American history. Just sprinkle or whatever works. Whatever makes sense. Yeah, whatever makes sense.

To walk up to a donut counter. Whatever makes sense. I don't know. Just give me whatever makes sense. Whatever makes sense. Yeah, whatever makes sense. To walk up to a donut counter and say, I don't know, just give me whatever makes sense. That's something I would have to say at a fancy restaurant where I don't understand the menu.

You look at J.D. Vance's head. I don't speak fucking French. Just give me some donuts. This guy knows his way around a donut shop. He just doesn't know what to do. Everyone does. I do identify with that some. Whenever you're ordering a dozen donuts, do you want to say 12 different kinds of donuts that you want? You know what's back there. Give me

some of those. Give me whatever makes sense. That doesn't work. That doesn't work at all. There's so many fun parts of it, but the small thing of the woman clearly being so uncomfortable. Hi, I'm JD Vance. I'm running for vice president.

Okay. And then she just doesn't want to be there, so he's like, all right, cut her out of the video. I'm like, I'm watching the video. I can see her. She's right there. Start over. Nothing has been protected.

You know what? Let's make that pretty much the news today, Blake. The Dumb Zone News. That kick-in story was pretty solid. Like and subscribe. Yeah, Kennedy's story was pretty solid. Like and subscribe. The Dumb Zone presents Today in History.

What did he do with the whale head? It doesn't say. Jordan will have to ask for it. What could you do? I think you probably want the skull. And you want to hang it up. Which is illegal to have. Well, clearly he doesn't care. What if he stuffed it?

His son owns a tow truck and drives it as a Camry. Whenever Machine was Norm's intern, it was Machine, right? Someone, Norm made him clean off a piranha skeleton. What? I wonder who RFK's Machine was at the time. I wonder who RFK's machine was at the time. Well, today is Monday, August 26th, the 239th day of 2024. In 1961, the original Hockey Hall of Fame was opened in Toronto.

Oh, okay. It used to be somewhere cool. The editor's note here says, this is just two days after the adjacent opening of Forever 21 and Auntie Anne's Pretzels. Nice. But that's not the one in Toronto, though. Why'd they move it then? Why would you have it in Toronto and move it to a mall

in Minneapolis? No, it's a mall in Toronto. Is it? Yeah. I guess I'm just confusing it with the Mall of America. Could be confusing it with the Bowling Hall of Fame in Arlington. Yeah, that's probably where you're confusing it. Yeah, next to the Medal of Honor Museum. Yeah, and Fuddruckers.

In 1985, 13-year-old AIDS patient Ryan White began attending classes at Western Middle School in Indiana via a telephone hookup at his home. School officials had barred Ryan from attending classes in person. He's got AIDS. Transfusion. Yeah, that's a toughie. Yeah.

Nonetheless, he's got it. We need to keep him away. I wonder if his parents made bank. Like, at this point... I bet it's a sad story. You bet they didn't, like, come out. I don't think they made bank. Yeah, at this point... I bet it's a sad story. You bet they didn't, like, come out. I don't think they made bank. Oh, for what?

Does him have an AIDS? No, I mean, the hospital gave it to him. Oh, man, there is some possible... I hope they did, though. What did you guys think I meant? Like, how would... Donations. Book deals.

Suing the school district. Book deal gone wrong. Made for TV movie, only paid him about 50K. I think baby Jessica did get a huge amount of money. She did. Yeah. It's gone, but yeah. Yeah.

I think it went to like... Car washes. She's like small town hot, right? Car washes? Something like that, yeah. I thought it was like missionary work. She's from an extremely religious family, right? Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.

Yeah, I think that... Did anyone answer Jorts' question? I just went to the church. Small town hot? Was baby Jessica hot? I don't feel comfortable. I don't know the answer, but I don't feel comfortable with the question. We're about the same age, so we can do that thing. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair.

The only time you're allowed to find a six-year-old hot is when you're also six. No, when she grew up. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair. The only time you're allowed to find a six-year-old hot is when you're also six. No, when she grew up. Gross. Yeah, I mean, I thought Hilary Duff was hot growing up, but we were both underage. It feels fine. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. In 1992, in the first matchup of NL knuckleballers in ten years, Pittsburgh's Tim Wakefield outduels Tom Candiotti of the Dodgers. Baby Jessica not hot at all. The last time knuckleballs floated to batters on both teams

came when Phil and Joe Necro squared off in 1982 in the Necro Leagues. That's not what it was called. In 2002, the first video streaming coverage of a Major League Baseball game takes place on the internet. Wow.

Apparently, or excuse me, approximately 30,000 fans visit MLB.com to see the Yankees defeat the Rangers 10-3. Who would have knew? I vaguely remember that. Another historical L for the Rangers. I didn't have internet access at that time. That one kind of passed me by. In 2016, Colin Kaepernick remained seated on the team's bench

rather than standing for the national anthem before the Niners played host to the Green Bay Packers. That wasn't that big of a deal, though. Well, actually, it wasn't. The break makes sense. It actually wasn't because this is when he just sat there. Yeah. And Nate Boyer, I'm pretty sure it was Nate Boyer.

Yes, yes. Told him to kneel. Green Beret and Texas Longhorn. He said, you know what would really make it so that no one's upset? Just take a polite, respectful knee. Jesus, Nate, where were you on that one? Birthdays today, former Ranger Elvis Andrews is 36. That's a good White Sox. Is he still with the White Sox?

I think he's retired I think a lot of their current players are retired He is 36 Is his war above or below 36? Above That's a new spin on war games I'm going to go below. I'll say above.

I bet he's racking them up with the defense early in the career. Oh, that's true. Elvis, age 36, wore 34. Yes. Wow, right there. Today's war game winner is David Price, who turns 39 today. His career wore 40.2. And a really magical run with the Red Sox.

I never thought it was going to happen for him. He was developing a terrible reputation as a postseason pitcher before that. You got to hand it to him. He came through in a big way. Was he the pitcher that could not make a start due to carpal tunnel from playing Call of Duty? Yes. That's him? Yes. Yeah. from playing Call of Duty. Yes. That's him? Yes.

Yeah. Pretty late in his career. Yes. Jake, Jamal Lewis is 45. I just picture you as a big Jamal Lewis guy. Yeah. You better be. Very dominant Madden player.

Oh, yeah. He was a 99 for sure. James Harden is 30. It was Fortnite, by the way. Oh, was it Fortnite? Yeah. I thought it was Warzone for some reason. James Harden is 35. Stan Van Gundy is 65.

This shit is magic. Stan Van Gundy. I don't know why, but I... Build a fucking wall. Y'all ever seen that clip? No. I didn't know he weighed in. It's solid. Actor Chris Burke is 59.

Dan. Dan wants to know if he's a good actor if he can only play one role. This is just my favorite. The visual helps a little bit, but it's just Stan Van Gundy. Okay, is that you or me? I am disabled.

Okay, fuck me. It doesn't matter. You're just going to punt? Oh, here we go. No, I got it. This is Stan Van Gundy in a huddle, and it's just because I like listening to Stan Van Gundy because when he talks, it sounds like he's yelling, so when he yells, it's extra funny. Yeah.

What do you want? I want to see it. Nobody can do anything but jiggle. We just form a fucking wall. I don't know why I say that to myself all the time. We just form a fucking wall. Melissa McCarthy is 54. Back up on the show. Starring in the next Fight Club. I made that up, but I'm sure she will be.

No, I think you're going to be spot on. I saw that, of course, like... Florence Pugh, it's automatically my favorite movie of all time. If Florence Pugh is Tyler Durden, we're done. You guys ever have that thing where you walk through a room and it's just got the Gilmore Girls playing? Yes. Melissa McCarthy was in all those episodes.

Your top two for the lead right now, and maybe they'll both be in it, are... Anybody want to guess? Real guesses? Florence Pugh. For Fight Club? It's an actual guess. No. Sydney Sweeney. It's an actual guess. No. Sidney Sweeney. That's a good guess.

Margot Robbie and Charlize Theron. Of course. Margot Robbie was your name. Margot Robbie was, yeah. Damn. Macaulay Culkin is 44. Chris Pine is 44. Am I going to go see this dumb piece of shit?

Probably. Yeah, we're going. Which Chris is going to do three hours on it, TC. Yeah, I can feel that in me. Chris Pine, 44. He's the Star Trek Chris. Yeah. John Mulaney is 42.

Really funny, but seemingly kind of a shitty guy. Not just because he's an addict. I couldn't love him more. I think he's great. I think he's perfect. I know I'm the only one in this group that feels that way, but I like his stuff as much as I like him. He loves Steely Dan, so he gets a pass. Everybody's in L.A.

I'm not saying that he's not super talented. That show was good because of the great Richard Kind. Richard Kind obviously elevated it so much. I know that you're not a big Mulaney guy, Jorts, but I really think if you watch the first monologue, just as someone who lived in Los Angeles previously. I was interested in stopping on that show. I think you'd like it.

The big joke is, you know, you show up here and you just think, no mayor, right? It's doing good for no mayor. But no mayor. All right, Jordan. Musician birthdays. Okay. Shirley Manson is 58.

Garbage. Dan Vickery is 58. Kansas. Yeah, it's counting crows. Okay. Adrian Young is 55. Drummer for No Doubt. Yep.

Yeah, nailed him. All right, born on this day, now dead. Okay. These are the strong women of the day. Born on this day, now dead. Mother Teresa. She's very strong. Don't think so. a woman catholic campsman she was a a soul stealer like when people were uh were infirm and they had not decided to give her life their life to her she would kind of either infirm or like they didn't

know what was going on you know she would come by and make them recite stuff. They'd be like, clock that one. That one's on my board. So your big chemspin on her is she tried too hard to get people into heaven? Yeah, I believe that much like with sexual intercourse, consent should be given before someone decides to start performing their spell on you. I'm with the ACLU over here, man. It's not spells.

They get to heaven. They're at the pearly gates. There's no bad way to get to heaven. I didn't ask for this. Yeah, yeah. They're like, oh, God, they made me go to heaven. I was kind of looking forward to hell. This was terrible.

I would actually be mad. Well, I hope you are mad. I hope you're mad the whole time. Well, they'd probably kick me out. If I have anything to say about it, and given how good of a job I'm doing here, I probably will. Geraldine Ferraro died at 76.

That's probably a good Catholic. She also, I believe, was like over... She was like withholding painkillers from people. Geraldine Ferraro? Are you going to Kemp's been all of these strong women of the day? Well, she was trying to get them to be lucid

so that she wouldn't have people like you objecting. No, she was trying to get them. Put her in an impossible to win situation. As close to death as possible. Katherine Johnson, a NASA mathematician portrayed in the movie Hidden Figures, died at 102. Wow. What a life.

And then finally, Naomi Fraley, the inspiration for the World War II Rosie the Riveter poster. Oh. Who I think... Yeah. She's created a lot of great Halloween costumes over the years. What's her name? Naomi Fraley. Hot name.

Yeah, Naomi back in the 40s Yeah Dead on this day still dead Charles Lindberg Died from grief because of his baby That's a really good Very interesting life You know uh

Skillman used to be called Lindberg Then he got too happy about the Nazis That's true That's a really good chapter in the Bill James popular crime book. Oh, it's so good. Dead on this day, 1979, Aaron Simpson. OJ's

daughter who drowned at 23 months old. Oh, I forgot about that. In 2020, Joe Ruby, the co-creator of Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo. And finally, a year ago on this day, Bob Barker. Ouch. Will we get a hologram? He just whips Happy Gilmore's ass.

He'll be in Fight Club 2. Alright, what do you guys got? What's the website again? For the show Friday, Quaker City Nighthawks at Tulips in Fort Worth. Just figure it out. You know how to Google. Head over to QCNH.com. You can find everything you need there.

I'm trying to decide what Fight Club 2 might be called. Women Who Fight. It depends on whether or not it has to sound like Fight Club. might be called. Women Who Fight. It depends on whether or not it has to sound like Fight Club. It's probably just going to be Fight Club. Cat Fight Club. You could just call it Fight Club. Are we going to promote our show?

Fight Club. The Dirtbag Culture Hour will be returning as a podcast. We couldn't be more excited. These two are going to get back at it. The Dirtbag Culture Hour will be returning as a podcast. We couldn't be more excited. These two are going to get back at it. It's so exciting.

Do you have a name? No Puppet Productions? What's your... Yeah, we do. That's the name. That's the name? Yeah. We're No Puppet Production. I mean, I do.

I could have been more dismissive by saying I didn't have a guess. Yeah. I was trying to be as little dismissive by saying I didn't have a guess. Yeah. I was trying to be as little dismissive as possible. We'll have you guys on again whenever it's go time, probably downtown. But sometime in the next week or so. Very excited. Yeah. I've just been discussing with TC.

I've got to ramp up my energy for all things. Weirdo? Yeah, weirdo. Popular culture, mostly. Please tell me, please. I think I've... Is there just a 5% chance we could book Kick?

Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if we talk to Kick? That's a great hook right there. Yeah. I think there's most certainly a 5% chance that we can do that.

90% chance we could talk to Kilby. Yeah. Ask him about whale juice. We will ask about whale juice. So when that comes down, we'll obviously promote, get you the links, we'll tell you where to find it, and then, yeah, go see Quaker City on Friday. That's all I got. Okay.

Adios, mofo. We gotta go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my videos. Thank you.