The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 8-29-24: Confusing Jerry Jones answers, AllCity Network, and Dan's battle with Ben Dover

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneIn a surprise turn of events, Dan did see the Jankowski catch last night, Dan's SNL draft is tonight, the launch of the new AllCity Network, Jerry adds up the number 29 twice, saying goodbye to our first ever intern, Rachel, Jake tells us he can do a kick flip, and Dan explains his battle with a dude fake named Ben Dover. (00:00) - Open (33:26) - Sports: Jerry speaks, NFL Trump impersonation (01:05:42) - Viewer Mail (01:16:17) - Saying goodbye to Intern Rachel (01:29:34) - News (01:56:09) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you will get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain.

Now, on to today's program. Don't hug me! Just finished my feature. What's a feature, Daddy? A feature is Hollywood industry jargon for a screenplay. You know what motion pictures are? Human centipede. Human centipede, yes, Shana.

You remember we watched that film? I ate the poo poo. That's right, they did eat the poo poo. And you know what? Those people didn't just make that up on their own. Someone had a right that they ate poo poo. That's what a feature is. That's what a screenplay is.

That's what your dad just did. That movie's gross. Oh, big surprise. My son got scared by a horror film. Shana That's what a screenplay is. That's what your dad just did. That movie's gross. Oh, big surprise. My son got scared by a horror film. Shannon didn't have a problem with it. Shannon, you liked when they ate the caca, right? Now, at the end of the show, you'll learn why that was the opening. Okay.

Are you excited? Very. I'm Dan McDowell. Are you excited? Very. I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jake Katt. I'm Blake Jones. And we are very happy to be here. We're excited.

What a good show we have for you today. It's just a good day. Don't bullshit people. What? Tell us what's coming up. Coming up on today's program. I don't know.

I see a lot of Cowboys stuff, football stuff. It's football season, guys. We can stop watching all that baseball. Did you see last night, bro? I'd like to play some audio. No, they rained out two nights ago. Well, they resumed in the fourth inning yesterday. Oh, they did?

They played one and a half. I saw Rangers media lamenting the fact that nobody goes to White Sox games. Dave Raymond's picture was pretty crazy. I did see the Jankowski catch. Then when we asked you, did you see what happened last night? Oh, is that what you meant? A guy going over the wall to save a walk-off. We weren't talking about Jonah Himes striking out.

Or like Marcus Simeon dribbler to short. This is one of the best catches of the year. He's like, no, what happened? But yeah, no. Yeah, especially the angle on it, the glove turn backwards. Is he a keeper? We'll do that in the back half of the show.

Hey, stay tuned. Yeah. Yeah. Well, today we broadcast from high atop my garage. By the way, this garage, did you notice the roof? I noticed that I felt safer, more secure, and it looked nicer. Qualis Roofing.

Look at that. Was out here. The great Qualis Roofing. We've been out to their place before. And so I thought, you know what? I'll invite them out to my place. And they paid us something to be out to their place before. And so I thought, you know what? I'll invite them out to my place. And they paid us something to be out at their place. And then we paid them a lot more to be out at my place.

But really, let's just say the insurance company paid a lot more because they dealt with the insurance company. And they're awesome. So what is it? Q-U-A-L-I-S. Roofing. So yeah, they were here the last two days. Actually, it was mostly done in one day

and the next day they just came back to make sure everything was cleaned up. And the weird thing is you didn't remark right away when you walked in. Didn't look like a construction site. That's the thing. Because if you were here Tuesday, you would have said they're going to be cleaning this up for weeks.

Yet somehow, maybe that's part of the Qualys game, is that they say the cleanup is very important as well. Because you wouldn't want to be reminded every day that you just got a new roof. Anyway, you know what I was really surprised about? This is probably not in the copy for the impromptu live spot that we're kind of doing now. They put a new roof on the shed. Like the little shed next to our house. Solid. While we're here.

The shed is painted the same color as the house. Nice. I'm like, what are you doing? They're like. The shed is painted the same color as the house. Nice. I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah. We do it all, bro. Yeah, then they roofed my car. It was incredible. Yeah. I have a new hair. I thought it was weird that Bodhi was walking

around with a little mobile roof. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta stay dry in these wet times. Well, no, I think the point is this is the first time you've ever done something when you're supposed to do it. What do you mean? Well, because typically our power goes out or something, and you're like, I should buy a Powerwall.

Right. It's like trying to go buy a ski jacket in November. Not the time. You don't want to be putting out paint buckets in your house and then thinking, hey, maybe I need a new roof. I'm going to do it now, Dan. Qualys Roofing does roofing services, roof replacement and installation. I've seen that.

Roof repair. So you just got one little problem. Storm restoration services and roof maintenance. Apparently a lot of things that have to do with the roof. Mm-hmm. That seems to kind of be the... That's their bit. Tie the binds.

So don't believe us, though. Well, you should believe us. But you could go check out their reviews on internet. Mm-hmm. Qualis Roofing. Hundreds of five-star reviews. Oh, not just four of them? Apparently hundreds.

Wow. Seven decades of combined industry experience. Anyway, Qualis Roofing and Construction. They're great. You want to maybe give out a contact there? Oh, go ahead. I don't know. Q-Q-A-L-I-S. I'll just text Brian.

GC.com. QualisGC.com. It's 817-500-9008. And they'll give you a free roof inspection and a free dumb zone shirt. You have them out. Oh, are they doing the other thing? The subbie? I don't know about that one i think they are okay i talked to brian the other day he's like yeah we're giving what were they giving when we were out there they were giving like a year subscription if somebody did something uh signed up yeah we should probably nail this down before the next well why don't you just call them and say hey hey, what are you guys giving? That's not enough. You know? But at least a shirt, right?

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Like I said, if I want to call him, I text Brian. Well, yeah. So you could text Brian or you could do it the way Jake said. Yeah. Because Jake's like, oh, you got to do things by the rules.

Yep. It's not the way I roll, guys. Mm-hmm. Fast and loose. So thanks, Qual. Anyway, so the garage is now secure it has a roof hopefully no more also the whole house wasps they didn't like just do the garage in the shed but it wouldn't have been beyond the pale that you would have requested only having the

roof over your apartment oh yeah yeah no that's what we need the generator for. Yeah. And so we're high atop my garage because we have a sit-in today. And he is Matt. Are we allowed to give your last name, Matt? Sure, why not? Because I see online you will use a different last name. Is that true?

No. Okay, what's your last name? Rosenblum. Okay, I thought it was something with a W. No, his real name is not Wamsgams from Succession. Well, again, he used that online. Yeah, okay, but I don't think anybody... This is Matt.

He's our sit-in today. Yeah. Hey, everybody. Hi, Matt. Yeah, I... A lot of controversy with Matt off the air. It's true. A lot of discussion about whether he sent an email or not.

Did we confirm this? You were looking for us. We got you here, though. Yeah, it was great. And, you know, I'm proud to have been one of the first people big-timed by the dumb soon. You're not even close to one of the first people. Well, you know, at least...

This happens all the time. I know, but let me run with this story. He's got a cowboy's hat that's really cool in the logo, except it's in commander's colors, and I have a problem with it. Yeah, there's been a lot of confusion twice now. I have a problem with you saying commander's and not

accepting the history of the Redskins. Isn't there like a petition going around to get them renamed the Redskins? I'm sure there is. Wouldn't that be funny? That's not going to happen though, is it? No. They'd have to bring Ron Rivera back and everything? Yeah.

I think once FedEx says change your name, you change your name. So Matt Rosenblum is sitting in. It's a class system here, so he gets the couch. Also today, we will hear from intern Rachel, as she is up here with her husband Colin. Rachel, as she is up here with her husband Colin, and she is here to talk about her experience as an intern for the Dumb Zone. Oh, no. Some say she was the first intern ever with the Dumb Zone, but we're still looking into that.

And we also have the husband of Liz Griffin. Everybody knows Liz Griffin, so I probably don't even need to say who she is, but she's one of our dream team attorneys. And he is named Ryan, and he is here with his life partner, Patat. Is that your buddy? Okay. I thought you brought him. You seem to walk in at the same time. Liz is the attorney that will hand you an ice pack if you have a panic attack in court, among other things. Yeah. She's not the one that will tell you to sack up. Who's that?

We got those guys. She kind of did that, too. That's probably more of a Phillip. Yeah. Frank is more down the middle guy. He can see both sides. Phillip's a there is no risk too big. Let's do it all.

We're going to go right up to the edge here. Liz is a, I don't know, possibly that's, we should look at that from all angles. And then Frank is like, look, I can see both sides of this. But anyway, they all worked really, really well together, I thought. Thanks for being here. Happy late birthday. Oh, is this a Ryan birthday thing? Yes.

Okay. Who shares a birthday? Oh, you share with Jake? Oh, right on. How about that? The day after. Look at us. Who would have thought?

Isn't that sweet? We're all Virgos? What are we? Leo. Leo at us. Who would have thought? Isn't that sweet? We're all Virgos? What are we? Leos. Leo? Yeah. Okay. Well, then I'm sorry I mentioned Virgo.

I know that you don't mess with that. Bro. So, I have a small kid story for you. I went to the Splash Pad on Sunday, as we talked about. A little water park. I think I'm going to hit it again Saturday in the window between Clemson, Georgia and Notre Dame A&M. I learned that from the Solid Verbal

years ago. Great college football podcast. Every week you got to find the window. It's very unlikely that you're going to get 14 hours of college football where your wife just doesn't expect you to do anything at all. But if you can say, like, all right, from like 2.30 to 6, 6.30 or something, let's – Are you like, I got to see second half of games or do I got to see the whole game?

Night games, let's go whole game, right? I mean it's a night game. By 7 o'clock, I should be able to post up. Okay. So always look for that window some weeks you're just gonna have to tell them this week there is no window it's just a simple fact um but uh i talked on monday when you weren't here dan about uh i saw a kid like really bullying another kid he was clearly like the cool kid in the group uh and he was just dicking with another

kid really bothered me how old they were in sixth grade i came to find out okay there's a group of probably like six boys and one of them was clearly like the ringleader and uh there was a another kid who was you know in the group but on the outskirts and he was kept like dunking him under the water. And then that kid went over and sat by himself. And the ringleader sent one of his minions to go tell the kid he wanted to talk to him. Oh, I'd already heard the kid say to him, why don't you like me? And the ringleader kid said something to the fact of like, I just don't like talking to you. The kid slumped off.

And so someone sends someone over. It's like, hey, he wants to talk to you. I observed all this. and the kid comes over and a ringleader kid now they're outside of the pool just has a cup of water throws it in his face you know like god this is sad so you're watching all this saying yeah and then i step in and then later uh a kid who was getting bullied is sitting with the messenger kid who had come over he's kind of the frank here uh to talk to him and they both had a ice cream sandwich and ringleader kid walks over to talk to him again and just grabs the kid's sandwich and starts eating it and i was like man i'm about to fuck this kid up and i said something to my wife and she was like you should say something

to him i'm like how's that gonna go i did say something though to. I'm like, how's that going to go? I did say something, though, to the lifeguard. It felt like the ultimate narc move. And she was like, I've already been getting on him and his crew for pool etiquette. And how old's the lifeguard? This was an adult. This was like a 40-year-old lady, 50-year-old lady maybe. Okay, then that's – Yeah, I wouldn't have walked up to a –

17-year-old? No, I would have just handled that. But, you know, the kid who... Excuse me, Devin with a Y? The whole day they're just like, hey, can you stop running? They blow the whistle and he's just basically like, no, fuck you.

But the other thing that happened that day was my daughter started playing with this other little girl and we were over in the shallower area. They have like these. They're like water balloons that open up. So you can reuse them.

I've never seen them before. But they're like. They're rubber. And you can just. Yeah they're magnetic. So you open them up. And then you fill them up with water. And you can squeeze them and throw them.

And they were playing with those. That little girl had a couple of them. She started playing with Nora. I'm going to say this little girl was like of Dominican descent. Her mom, who we started talking to, who lives in the neighborhood, was some sort of Latina. But she was much lighter, like closer to my complexion. The daughter was much darker. And when we got back over, we were getting ready to leave. This is the first time I've ever

interfaced with something like this. We were sitting there, like drying off and stuff, and my daughter goes, does your brain determine how you look? And I was like, I don't know, I guess it depends. What do you mean? And she goes, does your brain decide what color your skin is? Oh, no.

What are we getting at there? She was just like, hey, I noticed this little girl is, you know. And she had, like I told you, I mean, her, if you look at her classroom picture from Montessori, like half the class is Asian. Yeah. But I guess that doesn't jump out at her as much. And, you know, she's played with darker complected kids before, but she was younger. So was she

insinuating the kid was not smart? No, no, no. I think she was trying to decide how does that... She doesn't really understand what your brain means. Yeah. And so she's like, well, does your brain... She's not saying you're taking it to a level that

she doesn't understand yeah yeah i'm just saying she was like hey why do i look this way and her look that way and her way of saying it was does your brain determine what color your skin is yeah okay and i'm like yeah okay she's not saying level of intelligence no she's just asking how did this happen of skin okay yeah because we tell her like, oh, your thoughts, that's your brain. Your brain just determines how you feel and things like that. They actually know your wiener does.

Kind of. Yeah, I was just like, well, look at your skin and look at mine. And I'm much darker than her. And I'm like, you know, everybody just looks different. It doesn't really everyone. And I skated pretty simply on that one, but different. It doesn't really you know, everyone, and I skated pretty simply on that one, but it kind of let me know that there's some questions coming.

Yeah, and you're not going to have the answers. So it's just, you got to see how long you could BS her until she actually knows that you've been lying all this time. What am I going to do? Get into like genetics? Yeah, I don't know. Everyone's different. That's the easiest

and truest answer you can give. Yeah. I think. Everyone's different, but we're the best. That's kind of the message. And me over you

because you're a woman. That's right. You'll understand someday. Here's 70% of this sandwich. Oh, look at this. I have 70% of a bag of chips for you so i have a boo uh tonight yes sir book club wife has uh neighborhood ladies uh night yeah they're doing some of that probably i don't know no that's for you big dog oh me and uh that's the yay

obviously it's gonna have to be a pretty big boo the boo is tonight at 8 o'clock is the ah

the Landry Cup no no no okay not that fantasy draft the SNL draft the SNL fantasy draft which is almost worse because

I don't know, besides three or four names, it's a 10-team league. We have to draft people that we think might be hosting or musical guests for SNL this year. We're going to have 20-some shows, 25 shows, and it's a 10-round draft, so there's going to be 100 names picked in the end. I don't know that I am 100 names into pop culture. I know that you're not.

You know, I don't know. Maybe Tom Cruise? I don't know. That's who I know. Who did you – you had – Kevin Bacon? Baldwin. No.

Obviously, Alec Baldwin. I know the five-timers. Yeah. You know, you got your Tom Hanks. You got your – I know Norm MacDonald won't be there. You could draft him in tribute, though. I might just draft him in tribute. They could do hologram Norm MacDonald.

Although it seems like we've gone like we've passed through that era. Yeah. Hologram had a minute. It's not that cool. For a while, though, it was like Tupac's on stage. And he's going to go on tour. Yeah. Yeah, we retired of that very quickly.

That's why sometimes I look at AI and I'm like, I don't know if people are really going to always be that stoked on this. It is pretty sweet. Some of it's pretty sweet. It does your homework and stuff. And it can put Nancy Pelosi's face on like... I mean, I've heard. I think your move

obviously is you look at the summer blockbusters. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what movies are coming out. Everything that's coming out in the fall. Yeah, but that means I have to do that. It'll take five minutes. To find out, to then see who's the stars of each thing

and albums that are dropping and all that kind of stuff. It's like, okay. And then it starts at eight. And you know what's going on. And it's 100 names. Coach Prime. What do you mean? Colorado, North starts at 8. And you know what's going on. And it's 100 names. Coach Prime. What do you mean? Colorado, North Dakota State tonight.

Oh, my gosh. So then even if it's one minute each one, which it'll be more. That's a lot. This is over an hour and a half long. You'll be on for over two hours. I don't want to do that. Like it's like, you know, something you agreed to three weeks ago, and then you're like, ah, yeah, that sounds fun.

And then now is the day. I need a GM to draft for me. You're going to pay another GM? Yeah. You're going to go. I need a pop culture GM. Reach out to me, DM me, email me, bracket Dan. You know, you have a daughter.

Two of them, in fact. I do, but I don't know what they're doing. They could probably crush this. They might be able to do that. They could probably do it. I might have to use an intern. The problem, though, with this sort of draft is that it's not a set group of names in a pool.

With fantasy football, you're just like, I don't know, fuck it, whatever. Yeah, just look at the auto-draft, all right, next one up. Yeah. With this one, you're... You could even turn on auto-draft. Yeah, you're searching for names.

Right. It's a lot of work. Like in 95 that... Yeah, and if there were no rankings in fantasy football, I don't know if people would know who to pick. Pass like the first four rounds? It tells you, like, this is your best player available.

Right. And then you kind of see the next 10 available, and you're like, well, but this is the one I like. Yeah. This is the one I remember from college. This is the one. Yeah. No, that's going to be an ass whip.

And you're going to lose interest so quickly, you're going to forget about this. Well, it's all one night. No, no, no. It's not like you have to reset a lineup every week. I know, but I'm just saying throughout the season, you're not going to be like, oh, damn, Charlie XCX was on this week.

Well, that'll be the time I will be able to follow it. But I don't know. I just think tonight is... I guess tonight's what it's all about, and it should be the night that you're looking forward to. But now that it creeps closer and closer... Would it be a funny story if I just bailed and then they didn't have a 10th guy? No.

Why? I mean, it's not funny, but it would be. Like the Big Dick Hunter story where I bailed on them in California. Boy, you're riding that thing for decades. 15 years ago, but still. Then we've had interviews about it. It's fun. We talk about it.

I respect the fact that you pulled an a-hole move and have been able to turn it into, but look how much better this is for the show when Turley's yelling at you. Yeah, wouldn't this be great for the SNL bit? And then people will, it'll bring awareness to Kevin Turner's SNL Fantasy League just by more people are talking about it

because I ghosted it. I guess, man. I don't know. What could I pay you to fill in for me? I'm busy until about nine, but if you want me to take over at that point, I can. You're lying. I swear I'm not.

I will. Make him do it. But I can't do much better than you can because I would say at least half the time over the last five years, when I see who's hosting, I don't know him do it. But I can't do much better than you can because I would say at least half the time over the last five years, when I see who's hosting, I don't know who it is. Yeah.

Yeah, if you think I really care about winning right now, like right now, I'm just like, why did I do this? Yeah. It's still, to me though, it does sound fun. Well, then what's the problem? Because I have to do it, then.

It sounds fun if you did it and told me all about it. Okay. Well, there's a Blake sitting right here. What do you got? I'm not doing that. Yeah, you know everything about pop culture. No, I don't. That's all you're about, man.

These movies slated to come out in 2025 suck. Really? What do we got? Fantastic Four, Captain America, Superman, Mission Impossible 8, Jurassic World 4. These are all remakes. Oh, hey, what's the new Nick Cage movie?

Have you seen who he's going to play? No. John Madden. What? Yeah. They tabbed Nick Cage to play John Madden. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right.

Are you sure? I'm absolutely a million percent positive. I'm not going to go out there on this one after the Happy Gilmore 2 debacle. Do you think they'll have the scene where he won't wipe his ass with toilet paper? That guy who worked at that hotel told us. I don't, but they're going to have a lot of RV stuff.

And now that I've been in an RV. You get it? I get it. I would like to have a Madden Cruiser. Or a Dunn Cruiser or something. But it has to have air conditioning throughout. Because it would be pretty sweet if you could just lay down in the back and then you're driven across the country.

Ooh, Gladiator 2, Paul Mescal. That'll probably go high. Denzel. Denzel won't do it. Paul Mescal? Yeah. He's hot. Yeah, he's pretty hot with the youths.

Probably The Rock because Moana 2 is coming out. Okay. I like what you're doing here. Fired up about Moana 2, man. I think Nick Cage should be first-round pick. Nick Cage should probably be on there. Yeah, that's a good call. All right.

Well, good luck. I don't think that movie is coming out anytime soon. I think they're just starting to work on it. Oh, it's not like 2025? But I'm not real sure. There's already a picture. Kai Dramsley. Kai Dramsley.

You know what? And then the last two rounds is kind of like wild picks. Like if they hit, then you get double points or something. Okay. Whatever that means. I don't even know what we win in the end. It's such a KT bit. It is.

It's like so complicated. It's such a KT bit. It is. It's so complicated. It's got legs in different areas. It doesn't have a winner. It's probably not worth it. You get to it and you're like, I probably shouldn't have done this. You're a jerk. But I was thinking of Akash.

Who knows? Schultz isn't a bad pick. I was thinking of Schultz but then I thought what if it blew up something blew up Akash all of a sudden is in the news and now in January or something that would be a pretty huge take off

but yeah I don't think that's he's at least famous who's the lady that was on that roast Nikki Glaser she's doing the Golden Globes too so that's not a horrible call He's at least famous. Who's the lady that was on that roast? Nikki Glaser. That sounds like a good one. She's doing the Golden Globes, too, so that's not a horrible call. Yeah.

I think she's doing the Golden Globes, and the dad from American Pie and his son are doing the Oscars. The levies. Okay. So that's not bad either. The levees. Okay. So that's not bad either. Who's the comedian lady that you told me about that had a special on, like, Giving a Beej?

It was Nikki Glaser, I'm pretty sure, right? No. It's a different name for sure. Nikki Glaser's kind of hot. It's the girl from Hacks? I don't know. My wife is into three or four of them that I've seen. Nikki Glaser was by far the funniest one.

She definitely has a joke about BJs. Yeah, she has a really funny bit on spitting and swallowing. It was like her whole special. Yeah. Damn. Well, anyway. Wanda Sykes? I think it was Wanda Sykes.

I think it was Rita Rudner. Paula Poundstone. Ooh, Kip Spinn. Yeah. So I'd like to do a bunch of football stuff, but we should do a sponsor read first. You said you wanted me to pick? Dealer's choice.

The sponsor? Dealer Dan's choice. Because actually what I have right now is what I wanted to do has really never been done before I didn't tell you tell you guys about this

because I just thought of it but I've developed an innovation in digital advertising okay Dan's digitization well you know that time is money

and I'm like you know I've always said that? When I said that, you're like, whoa. And you're like, I should start saying that. Time is money. And we're trying to consolidate things in this world. You might have to do two different jobs now, Jake, that we're in this world. It's the gig economy.

So what I'm going to do here is a debut of something. Okay. It is called... The Two Minute Crossover Spot. You made it open for that? So this is a crossover spot using two different advertisers. All right. So let's just say, for example, that you went up to Prosper Ford.

Yeah. My God, I can't even believe. This place is pristine. I wish I could live here. Yeah, it's so nice. This used to be a field. It was a field like very short, three, four short years ago. So now you're there and you're thinking this is great.

Man, I wonder if I'm going to have to spend all day. You're not going to. They're going to expedite that process for you. They're going to have to spend all day. You're not going to. They're going to expedite that process for you. They're going to make it easy, enjoyable, comfortable. You know, that's very important during the college football season, Dan. Right. Spit your window. Not even the whole window.

They got a bunch of TVs around there, too, so you can catch some of the game. It's great. They got a little cafe. Love games. Yeah. game. It's great. They got a little cafe. Love games. Yeah. Anyway, so now all of a sudden, you drive off the lot

in your new... What'd you buy from Chaz? An Explorer? I bought an Explorer that I love very much, and when that one's done, I'll buy another one. Okay. So now, it's great, man. I can't... And you're just thinking. I got my hand... Hey, I think I have my hand out the window, and I'm doing like the the air...

the air wave thing. And you're kind of going through your mind like, God, that dude, that sales guy. What was his name? Steve? Man. And then you see, oh, wow. He just texted me like a little follow-up. Yeah.

What a good dude, man. Yep. Everything was so cool. It was so cool to deal with their finance people. They made this process just so wonderful. I can't believe how great life is. And now I'm in this new

Prosper Ford vehicle and you're just driving along and it's... Oh, man. Oh, Jesus. My goodness. Don't text and drive. I was...

The tone has shifted. Quite a bit. You're looking around. Am I? God. Also, am I at Jurassic Park? What you're doing now, though, is you're thinking, what should I do? You know what we should do?

Because I wasn't at fault here. No. But my neck hurts. What should we do? I think we should call the Frankles at 214-817-333-3333, and I'll talk to one of the partners there. Or should I call my insurance company?

Absolutely not. They want to take advantage of you, all insurance companies, and the Frankles know that because they used to work for them. I would even say if your neck doesn't hurt then, it might hurt later. Well, you call them and then they'll kind of direct you what to do. You know?

That's the move. If they're like, yeah, call the insurance company now. But they'll help you through this. Yes. So they are personal injury attorneys. They used to work with the insurance companies, work for the insurance companies, so they know their tricks. They know that they're trying not to help you. They're just trying to do what's best for them.

So you need somebody that wants to do what's best for you. You know who that is, Blake? Would it be Franklin Frankel? That's right. Man, he's picking this up, man. He really is. And so now the tide is kind of turning in your favor. Yep.

You know? You got the Frankles on your side. You can have them fight for you, get you what you deserve. And then you're going to get a brand new Grapevine or Prosper Ford again. You're going to go back to Prosper Ford. Yep. That's awesome. So what we've done is we brought these two worlds together.

The greatness of Prosper Ford. You hit the post. And the greatness of Frankel and Frankel. And we appreciate both of them. Beautiful. And their support for your little old friends here at the Dumb Zone. I thought I could get this right to the end of that song, and I can't really. But that was fun, right?

It was. That was awesome. Hey, now that I know I've got this taken care of, there's a Brachiosaurus. Yeah. And this has been... For some reason. The two-minute crossover spot. Did you cut that with a dip in your mouth?

I don't know. It sounds like it. Can you tell? Yes. Well, we'll do a three-minute, three-crossover spot if we can get a dip sponsor. I think they're on their way. I think they are. All right.

Yeah. From the wonderful world of sports, Radio Sports, scoreboard. Oh, yeah. I like that. Where do you want to start? Well, I have some Jerry audio. We could do that.

We have Mike Sandoz quarterback tiers. We could talk NFC East. It's football time. So it's up to you. Let's hear from Jerry. Okay, so there was some event at the Star, some fan thing. I don't really know what it was, but Jerry went to the podium. This was not a scrum where you just have the

quotes. It wasn't a practice. I mean, he's in a suit. He's at the star, at the podium, and he did almost 30 minutes. A good amount of it was CD talk, which we'll play some of. There's some Dak stuff in there that is pretty boring, to be honest with you.

It's just Jerry being Jerry about Dak. It's funny, but that's like a headline coming out of this, right? Yeah, but it's nothing. It's just him saying, yeah, he's going to be – here, I'll play you a tiny little bit of it just so you can hear. Yeah, it's something else playing. I do?

You know what I bet it is? W-effing FAA. Is it playing now? Nope. That's what I thought. Let's see what this is. Tim Kalashow, Dallas Morning News. On the flip side of risk, historically,

do you think there's value in having players playing for contracts and what that can mean over the course of the year? Well, it's easy to say when you're when you're talking strategy that you put the carrot out there leave the carrot out there leave the incentive out there it's easy to say that if somebody has gotten pretty satisfied whether it be financial or whether it's be over a good meal that they may not go as hard as before they were satisfied he's explaining the concept of hunger and then being full because usually when you eat you don't eat immediately eat another meal which is very insightful yeah if you look at it And so that's an area that is tricky.

It's easy for me to say. I seem to have my better times when I'm dealing, frankly, in bad times, which are incentive areas to get out of the ditch. Okay. I get what he's saying, but, like, why would you want to put a player in that situation and be like, yeah, you know, I usually do the best whenever I'm right up against it.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't even really care about the rest of this. It's just him saying Dak's going to be here. Being in a contract year is good because it's... Yeah. He's... You're hungry.

He's hungry to be great and be better. It's boring. But it is funny, though, that... The point is, you listen to this 20-minute thing. You're like, hey, there's better stuff than the Dak stuff. But every story about this, it's because he said one thing about Dak, and they make it a headline, and then Dak... Jerry says we're good with Dak.

And then, oh, man, what is this? That's pretty much all he said. And they said, well, will you stop negotiating if the deal's not done with week one? He said, no, we'll keep negotiating. That's pretty much it. What would the point of stop negotiating be? I guess Dak's people could break it off if they wanted and say,

hey, we're pissed off, and now we're just going to focus on the season. Yeah, they could. You can always come back at them. It's all performative. So I thought this was funny. Obviously, we had the article with Clarence the other day for All-City Dallas where Jerry used the F-bomb and a bunch of other curse words and people were real riled up about it.

I guess sort of... What is All City Dallas? So that is the... Yeah, we haven't really talked about it yet, but it's a network that, you know, obviously we've known about this for a long time. It's in four other cities. They have written content on their website,

some of it for free, some for a premium that's like 90 a year they go live on youtube every day with four currently four shows that are sports specific so for example their cowboy show is first the other day when the cd news broke they were in a star show with our friend owen newkirk that's an hour and a half, two hours of stars. The Cowboys people drive back up there and get back on 30 minutes later because their shows are segmented as such that they're not like general shows. And then they put those up as podcasts, and on down the line we go. Wait, so Owen Newkirk, does he still work at the Ticket?

That I don't know. I would be surprised by that. So he doesn't – That's also – we've talked about this before, and also I don't care. When we worked at the Ticket, we were told we were not allowed to have anyone on who didn't work at the morning news. Now, as far as how those rules were enforced, they were extremely ad hoc because, first of all, I worked at the morning news. Now as far as how those rules were enforced. They were extremely ad hoc. Because first of all.

I worked at the athletic. Bob worked at the athletic. Sod currently works at the athletic. But whenever I wanted to have a writer on from the athletic. I was not allowed to do so. Randomly somebody would be allowed to have Tim McMahon on. But I was not allowed to have Tim Cato on. But we were allowed to have Brian Curtis on,

who writes for The Ringer. None of it makes any sense at all. Yeah, the thought process was the Morning News is our partner. They built the app. They pay for the app. They built the app that we use for Sports Day Talk. And so we want to promote each other. And so if you want to talk basketball,

don't have Tim Cato on. Have... Brad Townsend. Okay, yeah. I was thinking Eddie Sefko, but I think he got hired by the manager. He works for the team now. Okay, well, anyway.

The point is, it was like a closed... supposedly a closed little bubble that you can only have you couldn't have somebody from the Star Telegram on no but you could have somebody on from the Dallas Morning News but you could pay Peter King

who works for another website or you could pay Joel Klatt no it didn't totally make sense to me and I thought it was a bad bit overall because, too, the morning news would have a... Let's say there was an interview with Emmett Smith on the Musers one day,

and there was an interview that Emmett Smith then went to the fan. Sometimes the morning news would just take a transcript from Emmett Smith on the fan and put it in, or they'd do an article about something that happened on the fan, which is fine. Got to cut both ways. But we would say, hey, how come the Morning News doesn't... And then I think there would be complaints to the Morning News about that.

And then they would do it again. But to me, though, there shouldn't even have been a complaint to the Morning News. This, to me, is an old, old story. Gather round, children. But when the guy... He ended up running CNN. Is it Zuckerman? Jeff Zucker.

Jeff Zucker? Who used to... He was like CBS, maybe, at the time? Well, he was... He came in as the producer of the Today Show, the morning show. This might have been like Katie Couric, Bryant Gumbel days.

And I think the Today Show, I'm going to probably get all this wrong, but just sit or gather around for an old story. I believe they were not doing well in the ratings back in the day, and they had a very closed mind, like, hey, let's have just NBC show stars on. Let's have, you know, and he said, you know what we're going to do? We're just going to do the best show we can because then we'll get the most viewers. So if a CBS show is hot, we're going to have somebody from the CBS show on. It doesn't matter what network you're on.

We just want to be a really good show. And that was always my theory for that of, well, let's just do a good show. If the morning news guy is the best guy to get on, we'll get the best guy that we can get on to talk about it. And the morning news should do the same. If they got a story that's better from another radio station, they should use that.

Yeah. We should all just build our thing as big as we can. I agree, obviously, and it's... ESPN used to have that. It's correct. ESPN, the network obviously. ESPN used to have that. It's correct. ESPN, the network, the radio network used to have that. And you see how... Yeah.

I mean, ESPN obviously is successful. But they would be like, okay, no, you can't go on. We would try to book somebody from the ESPN radio network. And no, I can't because you're not an ESPN radio affiliate. Yeah. I always thought that didn't make sense for them because you could promote ESPN radio network. And no, I can't because you're not an ESPN radio affiliate. Yeah. I always thought that didn't make sense for them. At least in the case of the... Because you could promote ESPN on all these other stations too.

Of course. At least in the case of the ticket, I do get it because of the app. Like they kind of have you by the balls at that point. If they're paying for the app. Yeah. But like you said, then it should go both ways. And I don't agree that it should go both ways though. I think the morning news should do...

No ways. The best they can to build the Morning News. But we said all that just to say All City was asking Jerry questions. They're a new podcast writing. It's just a media company. Yeah, it's just a media company. They do video. They do audio.

They do writing. And they ran an article with Jerry where he's cursing a whole bunch. Probably, I assume people know this, but a lot of times when you read Jerry quotes that were not in public, they don't even put like F dash dash dash. They just take it out. Like he curses nonstop. Like if you be around him for five minutes, you're going to hear 10 F-bombs. So they've been cleaning it up forever already,

and I guess it was shocking to people that they were just writing out the curse words. And that story just came out, made some waves. It's where Jerry's saying, like, there's nobody that could do this better than me. There's nobody who could be a better GM. Just complete BS for, you know, 2,000 words to Clarence. And Clarence had either the first or second question. And we all had a big laugh. Clarence Hill, All-City Dallas.

What's the name of your outfit? All-City Dallas. Thank you. You kicking it off with some good stories? Yeah. Shit, Clarence. Shit, Clarence can you just talk about the interest in Dalvin Cook I have no answers for you

what did he say I think he said no answers for you can you just talk about the interest in Dalvin Cook I have no answers for you interest in Dalvin Cook and I have no answer for you. Interest in Dalvin Cook and where you are in your running back position. Let's get back to it. We're having a good time.

So we'll come back to that later because there's more all-city humor. More Dalvin Cook later? Because what did they do? They put him on the practice squad? Yes. I have some Dalvin Cook for you and we'll also come back to all-city.

So they put him on the practice squad? Yes. I have some Dalvin Cook for you, and we'll also come back to All-City. So they put him on the practice squad because they no longer have – you can put vets of any accrued service time on the practice squad now. So Carl Lawson, who's like 29, they put him on the practice squad. Kind of like a minor league. Yeah. But also any team that wants him could – Yeah, you would have to – it's different for every player, but yes, you would have to put him on the 53 at that point.

So he's at least in the room. He's learning stuff. He's learning the playbook. You can kind of look at him every day. And boy, if you're looking a lot better than Zeke or. Yeah, it's a good move. Yeah, for sure. What's wrong with the practice squad?

That's a great bit. Yeah. Just that he's better than Zeke right now? He might be, but that will become. That's a great bit. Just that he's better than Zeke right now? He might be, but that will become readily apparent if that's the case. Although Zeke has to suck so bad to not play. That's the problem. Because he's Jerry's pet cat.

Yeah. I have no clue what he means by this, so I'm going to play it for you. I think he thinks he's being clever, but it makes no sense. He could easily really help us out this year. He and Zeke are both 29 years old. How does that mix with

what you're trying to do with me? At their age, can they still be strong? That's pretty incredible. They're both 29. I think of them as 33, which is old in running back years. But 29? Yeah, I mean, that's now the new old.

I feel like that's kind of prime-ish. No. For a lot of athletes. Used to be. I mean, I think you're prime. Running backs are more 26-ish? At the latest. I mean, Derrick Henry's 30, and he's like a supreme outlier.

He's only 30? Yeah. Wow, okay. That's right. Same draft as Zeke. Same draft as Zeke,lier. Oh, he's only 30? Yeah. Wow, okay. That's right. Same draft as Zeke. Draft as Zeke, yeah. So, yeah, they're talking Cook here. He could easily really help us out this year.

He and Zeke are both 29 years old. How does that mix with what you're trying to do? At their age, can they still be strong contributors? That adds up to 58. If you want to know, seriously. But what does that mean? I'm going gonna play the rest of it so you can tell me like i left a little context i'm like is that a special number or what the that adds up to 58 if you want to know seriously uh but uh really uh we're in a great position to have flexibility. What is it?

Where was the joke? Yeah, like is he saying, well, I mean, we could have like a 23-year-old and a 35-year-old and it'd be the same? I don't know what he means. Advanced statistics. Yeah, like, you know, everybody knows you got to keep your running back number under 60.

But if you say, oh, no, seriously, it's because I was just joking about something. But what was he just joking about? I don't know. Seriously, I got the math right. I mean, even at 58, I bet there aren't two other teams with two backs that add up to 58. Interesting.

It would be pretty hard to find. I mean, both these guys are on the verge of retirement. Is your jersey number 58? That's what I was trying to think of. I was like, what is it, Super Bowl 58? Yeah, that's a good idea.

Numerology. I couldn't figure it out. And speaking of I couldn't figure it out, this one's kind of long, but CD talked a little quick interview for the Cowboys website and said, hey, you know, he put on 15 pounds. That's a big topic on Cowboys Twitter. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

I'm trying to think if that's positive or not because it seems like he was pretty great last year. There wasn't any like, oh, he really ran down because he wasn't strong enough? No, but they're going to ride the ever-loving piss out of him this year. I think it's amazing. Even in his small stature, he hasn't missed a game. Yeah. So I don't know. He also – I don't have the audio because I think it was in a scrum.

He was like, yeah, I put on an extra 15 pounds of muscle or body armor, if you want to call it that. Nice. Now, you may remember that we got some audio from our friend Cameron one time of Zeke talking about the former show whenever he was on a shoot for the product that CD endorses, Body Armor Sports Drink. Very smart tie-in there. is body armor, sports drink. Very smart tie-in there. But CD said something like, hey, we just had to get in a room,

clear the room, and have a business man-to-man conversation. And so that's Jerry on that. Nick Harris, DallasCowboys.com. CD said yesterday that you two had to have a businessman conversation to be able to clear the room. As the owner and GM, what goes into that conversation? And do y'all feel like y like you have a good relationship moving forward well I'm going to point specifically to one aspect of the conversation and that is a just an inherent wanting to for and I think it's natural for all of us wanting to say now you're going to be dealing with huge amounts of money be careful be careful look under

the hood give it a lot of consideration as you make decisions regarding what you have uh as far as keeping it do you feel like he's answered the question at all no i don't know what he's saying i don't either but it gets weirder was he giving him fatherly advice on how to use how to use your money it kind of gets into that you don't have to be smart to make money you do not have to be you can be very talented you can be very driven so he's telling him you do not have to be smart to make money so he's saying see but you have to be real smart to keep it. He's saying C.D.'s not smart.

Any way that I can help a player in any way keep it, put me in coach. The question was, yeah, you got in a room to hash out the final details of this contract.

Yeah, what was that conversation like? And he, so. And again, you signed a contract which everybody predicted would be the actual final total three months ago. He's making it sound like he was worried to sign the deal that pays C.D. Lamb a lot of money because he's worried he'll waste it. Like, what are you, his dad? Well, he did see him with two phones on draft night.

Yeah, that's true. But, I mean, that's pretty common. They're everywhere. Yeah, I just thought that was a really weird answer. Of course it was. Most of his answers just turn into his life philosophy. Yeah. Where he just starts spinning.

There was one in here where he's like, my dad told me, and it was like four minutes long, and I couldn't figure out a way to play it. My dad told me to be done negotiating by 60, and it had nothing to do with the question. So he also got asked about sports gambling. I'll paraphrase it for you. It's clear that he wants it,

but his basic answer was the public tide has to turn because it's going to go to probably a ballot or a referendum. I think he kept using the word priority. He's like, it has to be a priority for the population or for the citizens. Organizations can throw all this money at it if they want, but if people don't care about it and they're not going to go vote for it, then it won't pass. It has to be something people really- So want to happen. Yeah. Because I think the public, it seems like in general, they'd be fine with it being legal.

I agree. But maybe not stoked on making it happen. If it were legal now, I don't think people would go out to vote to make it illegal. But if you have to change it from illegal to legal, and it has to get to a referendum, his point was like, I don't know. It doesn't seem like that's the highest priority right now. Abbott doesn't want it either. Oh, Abbott definitely doesn't want it.

It's so weird, too. Like, whenever you see the— So much money that goes to Oklahoma. And when you see the—and not even that. I mean, sports betting, they don't even have that in Oklahoma, but they probably will. When you look at, like, the ESPN Bet app, which from everyone I know who uses it says it sucks, it lists, like like 38 states. They'd be better off listing the states that you can't do it.

I mean, that's ESPN. You can't here? No. I mean, that's why you have to use offshore. That's why your betting websites don't end in.com. Oh, really? Yeah, they end in.lv or.ag. It's a different country's domain name.

Dan's about to go to mybookie.ag and figure it out for the first time. How about that? I don't think VPNs work for – I don't think they do either. They're smart enough to know if you're in another state. They'll let you yank it, but... Have you ever seen what your credit card charges you whenever you put money into it?

It's like China. Mine's China. Mine went to Jamaica. Yeah. I know it was difficult to get it started. Yeah. Your bank will decline it. Yeah. They have to confirm. I know I really am to get it started. Yeah. Your bank will decline it. Yeah.

They have to confirm. I know I really am a degenerate. Yeah, yeah. It was a difficult thing to get it rolling. Yeah. But I haven't put more money into the account. Hey, congrats. Are you telling me you're feeding yours?

I may have. Okay. No, I've hit a couple good ones on there, and I don't bet a lot. I checked mine this morning, and it's at zero, so I just decided to leave it there. I took the last $200 out last year. Oh, you didn't get on the Cowboy 5-0? My site didn't even offer that. Okay.

I wanted to put a little money on the Bison tonight to beat up on Coach Prime. That's tonight? Yeah, I said that earlier. Can't confirm. Did I miss it? You did miss it. Boy, that was a pretty big miss there.

30 minutes ago. Still. That was 30 years ago. You see Shador signed with Nike yesterday and they had a sneaker drop on sneakers. Oh, really? Wow, day one. It was never going to be

another way. Although for a while, Prime was Under Armour. Remember, he was like one of their brand leaders at the beginning. All right, well, here's how the press conference ended. If you recall, one of the first questions was Clarence. It looks like things are ending, but then Clarence has one more, and it's time to laugh again with the media, which is something we all love. You're good, Clarence?

Hey, thank you, guys. One more, one more. Ter all love. You're good? Okay, thank you guys. One more. Terrence, is it Terrence? Can you talk about Zimmer's role in some of the decisions you've made? I can't be mad at you. Can you talk about Zimmer's role? Wait.

They're wrapping up. I had to walk out. No, no, no. You got to – I got a hard hitter. That was the question that I had to work in here. Mike Zimmer's role? Well, he's the defensive coordinator.

So he's going to call the plays. Like what do you mean his role? And at first he just goes Zimmer. Like it's very – when Trey just goes, Tony Romo. But I just love these little laugh sessions when Jerry says like, is your name Terrence? Everyone's like, ha ha ha ha,

because it's not his name. You know that no one's really, we haven't been talking about the thought that Mike Zimmer can slide into that head coaching chair, if need be. Oh, don't think, Jerry's not thinking that. Of course he is. It that head coaching chair, if need be. Oh, don't think. Jerry's not thinking that. Of course he is.

It's going to Dion. You know that. I would love it to go to Dion. Dion should do it. How Terrence is a Terrence. Zimmer. Zimmer. So clearly, Clarence's story, the first day of the All-City that has F-bombs in it,

that was the point of that story. We're on the map now because we've got an interview with Jerry, a one-on-one, and Jerry swore, and we can print it. And you know that all of the other – That's different than the Star-Telegram. Or even the Athletic won't do that. Oh, okay. I mean, they will, but they don't as a matter of

course yeah i mean that was a lean in for sure i mean i wonder if they're i'm not really supposed to curse in d magazine articles are they are they trying to be show that we're that we're that yeah i mean it's probably not um i don't think it was a we have to be that, but I definitely think it's a conscious decision. To put that in the first article? Yeah. Just to let everybody know we're not... We're not playing by the rules. Kind of HBO back in the day.

Yeah. Like they would mandate that. The notes would be... Yeah, need more boobs, need more cursing. Yeah, throw in an F-bomb, throw in a jug. And you know how it works in that media room. The reason they're all laughing is probably there's a little bit of jealousy because from what we hear, they're paying quite well.

And also, you know, you go up and you're like, oh, so I guess over there you're just allowed to print everything he says when he's potentially two glasses in in the afternoon when you show up at the facility. That was big around the star. Yeah, the media circle. Yeah. I have Hard Knocks audio. If you have more Cowboys, we can stay on Cowboys.

No, let's go to Hard Knocks, and then we can go around the NFC East if you want. Okay. If we have time. What did we start about an hour ago, right? Yeah. We got a show tomorrow too, though. We got time for everything.

I played this on Monday, and I don't want to redo the entire Monday show for you, but I do think you need to hear this because you said you've only seen the first episode of Hard Knocks. Yeah, this morning I was thinking of, I woke up too early, and so I was thinking of number two. Oh, that's the first thing for me as well.

No, no, no, not that. I mean episode two. And then I's the first thing for me as well. No, no, no. Not that. I mean episode two and then I instead went with the Connor Stallions Nice. Untold on the

sign stealing scandal. And I've got a lot of thoughts but if you want to wait until you watched it for me to give you a few of those thoughts. So this is from episode two. It's before Caleb Williams' first start.

And, you know, like I said, we played this the other day, and TC and I were talking about it. Like, of course this happens. I've just never heard it before. As they're sitting down with Caleb, and it's – I don't remember which coach it is. It might be like their research and analytics guy. And it's just him, Caleb, and the coach in one room.

Buffalo, first game. We're going to talk about refs. Not to confuse with all these officials, let's just focus on one of these guys. White hat. The white hat, Craig Rolstad. And he's been in the league a long time. He is an athletic director at a Catholic school in Seattle, Washington. How often do I see these guys?

So on a given season, you may see some crews twice, or you may not see a crew at all. It takes about two and a half years to get through all the crews. There's 17 of them. So you'll eventually get through them all, but all these folks are all going to have long careers. You're going to have a long career, so you want to

be good with them. They actually are talking about hey, because in college, if you're in a conference, you're probably seeing the same refs a lot. They don't move around that much. If you're going to play three or four years, now in his case, he played in two conferences. That's interesting.

Learning how often am I going to see this guy. I never even think about that. I think about it sometimes when the media will put out, this is the crew. They tend to call more holding or whatever. You don't think about

scouting that, But also think about how, like, if you become an NFL referee, like it's a given, you're going to have a long career doing it. Even if you suck. Right. That doesn't really say that this is a, you know, because the NFL, it's famous that they're short careers, you know. It's just an average of a few years. You get a lot of 10-year

veterans, but there's way more one and done or two years or something like that. If you're not good enough, you just can't stick. But if you're a ref, just about in any sport, it seems like you're going to be there 10 or 20 years.

And then I have one from this week's episode. How do you like it so far? I love it. Okay. I have one from this week's episode. So, uh, how do you like it so far? I love it. Okay. I really do. Cause I know in the past we've said it's gone down in quality and I would

usually watch it with my wife and she pointed out to me, she's like, this is way more football now. So, but it's also, there's even episode one. I remember it. I don't, I don't need the family crap.

I know you don't. I really don't think – I want to watch behind the scenes of football. But they're going to have to hit the family thing. I know what family is. I don't know what the – The ref thing. Yeah, I don't know what working on the playbook is. The family thing you're going to have to hit when the guy who's married to Simone Biles is on the team. Yeah.

And they milk that. Oh, that was interesting. But yes, that had to play into why they even did the Bears. Yeah. But I don't know. It's cool because I like Caleb Williams. I like him in the sense he's interesting. He's very polarizing, man.

Oh, yeah. I like – Like I think – I think he's going to be awesome. I think he's going to be great. Yeah. Yeah, I think – Dude, and like some of the throws he's already made

and like the little dump-offs, he looks like Mahomes to me. It's just he's a different guy. Yeah, he's today made and like the little dump offs. He looks like my homes to me. It's just, he's a different guy. Yeah. He's a, he's today's athlete. Yeah. Air quote.

Yeah. And that may be a problem, but there's going to be more of today's athletes around him as he gets older. Yeah. Uh, and I also like looking like a Leo from the meme when I see my, uh, sort of my buddy,

my brother's buddy, Ryan Griffin on screen 10 times a game. I think they're a good team, and they're fun. They have three awesome wide receivers. Now, they'll probably end up like 6-11 because everybody's riding them so hard. But this is from the end of the last episode. Austin Reed, who ended up getting cut and signed to the practice squad, he's the one that they're showing his parents in the crowd every game. He was playing when the game got rained out in Canton. So that's like, you think about how big of a deal that is for you whenever you're a guy trying to make a QB3 job, and you go out there for your first drive and the game gets rained out late third quarter,

like that has got to be just crushing. I'm thinking like, dude, I might get two drives a game. Now this one just evaporated on me. Yeah. Unless you're Trey Lance. Unless you're Trey Lance.

Then you get the whole game. You get the whole game. Just keep, just keep turning it over. Let's see if we can set a record. So Austin Reed was great. Leads a touchdown drive and he comes over and he starts talking to one of his teammates on the sideline

and I think you'll quickly realize why I pulled this. Come on, man! Great shot, baby. Great shot. I knew I was going to put it in my bag. That is awesome. He didn't keep the ball, look. Operating at a high level.

One might say the highest level they've ever seen. He's doing Shane doing Trump. It's obvious. If you've ever seen Shane's Instagram, he's very popular in the NFL. He was at Christian McCaffrey's wedding with Kittle and all those guys. Oh, really? Yeah. He's friends with Gabe Davis with the Bills.

Like, he goes out with him all the time. Yeah, I knew that. And, yeah, Austin Reed's on the sideline, and he's doing the hand thing. He's, like, operating at a very high level. That is awesome. He's going to keep the ball, like. Operating at a high level. High level right there. One might say the highest level they've ever seen. operating at a high level.

One might say the highest level they've ever seen. I was like, yes, I get that. They're all doing it to each other on the sideline too, the hand thing. It's great. All right, let's do a little of this. Hey, everybody. It's time to answer some of today's...

I just have a couple birthdays. Let's see. Oh, let's get a little tunage. That's a little more than... Yeah. What is... I'm going to save that shot. I was going to take a shot at Blake

for putting the levels too high, but I wouldn't say that. Would never say that. Let's see. Do you guys have any? Probably the same ones you have. Well, I got some birthdays. Dear Uncle Dental Dan.

I like that. I hope this makes you to you from the inferior Yahoo email platform. I was hoping to have my son Hayes' first birthday read on the show. His leaders are the Roast Twins, Blake's disdain for eclipses, and Jake's lakeside all-you-can-eat buffet.

Thanks for coming to Streetman to do a remote. Oh, cool. I think I can do Hayaze, but you can't have a Z, and I've seen the Z. H-A-Z-E? Mm-hmm. Or H-A-Y-Z?

I've seen H-A-Z-E before. No puppet from Brandon. Oh, he wants a Blake drop. I don't think we have any. Yeah, I don't think we have any either. Eggplant Emoji. You like Freaky S?

Mike and Molly? Yeah, that bothered me. Storage Wars? We are more important than a Jackie Robinson statue. Lifeguard Training? 30 Minutes? Oh, wow. Pearl Harbor.

If the Stars made the playoffs after every game. George Clooney! Chuck Berry. Mark Zuckerberg. Charlie Pride. Meghan Markle. Ian Johnson. Billy Crudup. George Clooney. Chuck Berry. Mark Zuckerberg. Charlie Pride. Meghan Markle. Ian Johnson. Billy Crudup.

Judy Blume. Kenny Rogers. Dave Portnoy. On a pretty severe uptick in popularity over the last handful of years. I'm saying. Not with a Z. No. No.

Dear Uncle Hot Gash and the Moose Brigade. That's us. Longtime listener, current Patreon subscriber. Dan is my leader. Want to share some info with you in hopes it might get the word out. My wife, Erin, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. We have four kids and we live in the San Antonio area. Learning about surgery and treatments.

Going to be performed in Houston. Some friends put together a GoFundMe to help us make it through. Four kids at home. Tight travel expenses. Anyway, I have a link. Did you get this, Blake? We all did. Put this in the show notes.

So if you feel like sharing it with fellow DFs, that would be appreciated. What if we just said, nah? I don't feel like that. Yeah. Yeah, but all you'd have to do is post it in the show notes. You know. Time's tight. He does say if you can't, please send good vibes. So maybe we'll just do that. Yeah. But all you'd have to do is post it in the show notes. You know. Time's tight. He does say if you can't, please send good vibes. So maybe we'll just do that.

I did that. I put in my good vibe cannon and fired it towards San Antonio. More Blake. Oh, that's why he's... Blake is standing up for him. And more trips in the DZRV.

Then he says, zip it up and zip it out. Zip it up and zip it out. From Scott Fowler. Okay, zippity-doo-dah, bye-bye. All right, yeah, we'll post that, GoFundMe. Maybe. Blake is still looking for more love, so send Blake more love. But, yeah, we'll probably put it on there.

And, you know what, that's all I got for birthday emails, I think. Let me see. Let me just make sure nothing is trickled in here. I got this right before the show on my front porch. Should I open it live on the air? Live on tape on the air? I'm still trying to find this

female comedian I couldn't think of. It might have been Taylor Tomlinson. I think I might know what that is. Should I not open it? It sounds like it's upper angle. It's addressed to the Moose Messiah. Yeah. I know what this is. This is what happens at my house.

How does everybody get my address? I don't give it out. Is that public? It's not hard to find. And it's kind of a pain in the ass to get it hidden. Really? Yeah. Have you tried?

Yeah. It's next to impossible to kind of remove your personal information from the internet. This guy works in data security. Privacy. Privacy. Oh, really? Yep. He's basically Snowden.

Have you tried doing it? I've done the best that I can. The best thing that ever happened to me is someone with my same name was court-martialed. So when you Google my name, the first 11 pages are just this guy screwing up. So just have someone with the same name do something horrible,

and that's the best thing that can happen. name name that's a good thing that's horrible and that's the best thing that can happen it's quite an elaborate package that was sent to me it's very well well packaged as well what do you think it is Blake it appears to be some kind of a picture. And it's of a moose messiah, apparently. That's you! Holy! That's actually Dan as Christ in the center

of a bunch of moose. Yeah, let me see that. Mooses. Now, are those full moose or half moose, half person? Yeah, what would that even be called? Because they're ladies. No. I'm just saying like minotaur, sinotaur. Ladies and meese.

Mooses. Look how badass you look. It's just moose. You do look badass. Yoked Dan. And look how the ladies are really into me, too. You have like a harem. This guy's into me, too, though.

Look at him. That's okay. You can mix it up. You know those, back in the day, too. You have like a harem. This guy's into me, too, though. Look at him. That's okay. You can mix it up. You know those, back in the day, they did that. It wasn't gay. Really? Mm-hmm. Well, and the dudes should probably know how to, you know, they know the finishing move.

You know? Yeah. I know what you like. Yeah, we'll put your GoFundMe in there. Oh, yeah. Well, this is a different guy. I know. Well, thanks for the actual mail as well.

The Dunzo. for Jerry Jones. Yo, it lights me up like a Roman candle with toppings and flavor almost too good to handle. Cowboys, five stars, what I get. It's like a Papa John's Pepsi, double threat. Get a Papa John's large with up to five toppings

and a two liter Pepsi. People are swappers because there's no better value. Y'all catch my rhyme. Cowboys, five star combo for $10.99. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. Gotta have that.

The wah. The wah-wah. So apparently we've been on for over a year. And over there at the... Wherever we sell our merch. There's five days, eight hours, 19 minutes, and seven seconds. Well, I guess different by the time you're listening to this, right?

No puppet! Thank you. Anyway, they have a one-year special. Like, do you know what it is? You get a hat. A stain-imaged t-shirt. They have a couple different packages. That seems disgusting.

It's personally stained by Digital Dan. That's right. He's just in there. Staining him again. I can't do another one. And a unisex hoodie. So it doesn't matter what you are. What kind of freak you are,

you can wear it. However messed up God made you. Yeah, or whatever you're trying to change into that you're really against. You can wear the hoodie, though. This is a hoodie if you work at a pet store. If your name is Cass or Pat. That really threw me.

Just the Cass, Cassidy. You could have worn me. No, I walked in the same thing. I put on cologne. I brought a box of chocolates. I show up before you guys and I was hoping maybe for a little alone time. There was another guy down there

whenever I pulled in and it ended up being one of his friends and I'm like, oh, okay, the boyfriend is here. Yeah. And then he's like, hey, I'm Cass. And I'm instantly like, do I need to go through all the emails I've sent and been like, did I talk to this person in like a different way? Hey, son.

Yeah. Yeah. Sugar tits. No, because I asked him, so did your wife book this? And he said, no, I'm Cass. Like, oh. Just the name Cassidy. I don't know that is a man's name.

No. No. But I think he's right. Cass does work better. I've told you guys before, I had a friend growing up. I had a buddy, Blake, whose dad's name was Lacey. That always just really threw me. I'd never heard that one before.

What are parents thinking when they do that? Like, they know. Oh, it's probably like a family name or something. That's always their excuse for sucking. We're at the portion of the program where we... By the way, it's dumbzonemerch.com. Oh, that's where you get the... I knew it's wherever you get the merch, but I thought

Blake would just put it in the show notes. Okay. Because that's what he does with everything. GoFundMe and now Dumb Zone Merch. Oh, I'm sorry that we're asking you to help with this lady battling cancer. I sent vibes already. Yeah, that was important. That's true.

You did look a little low on vibes. He got you there. This is the portion of the program where we want to welcome intern Rachel. Do you have a mic? Yeah, there's a mic down there. we want to welcome intern Rachel because... Do you have a mic? Yeah, there's a mic down there. Intern Rachel, for my money, has been one of the best interns we've ever had.

She's up there. Here on the dumb zone. Actually, no matter what you do later in your pathetic life rachel sorry you will always be the first ever dumb zone intern and the only thing not going on my resume oh wow it's probably smart maybe no puppet productions sounds little... That sounds a little better? Yeah. Would you like my referral letter from the dumb zone? People will be ruining the day when they made fun of that name.

As you can see, the man is urinating on terrestrial radio. I remember when I tried to look up the logo to put on my application at Arizona State, and the Putin logo pops up. And I was like, I'm probably not going to use that one to submit for the internship. That's not an authorized logo. That was just fun. Bolshevik? I say authorize it.

The one that Ty Walker made? Yeah. Anyway, so yes, you are the first ever intern that we've had here. We plan to have more interns, but you'll always be the first. What was your experience like? You were right. I remember one of your first days, like, Blake was gone. No.

And all of a sudden, you were there. Her first day was even better. It was Doug Townsend was my first day. Okay. Yeah, it's like, this is what we do. And Chappie. The Louisiana car salesman. Yeah, that was a wild ride, and I was like, what am I getting into?

And, yeah, it was the week after that Blake left. Well, you certainly had. Yeah. So that was one of your first days. Yeah. You're all of a sudden like a big part of things. And then, of course, I know you've denigrated the message boards or read it. Me? No.

Rachel. Rachel will just be like, yeah, don't pay attention to that. Don't read that. I mean, the funniest part about that is, though, that she thinks she has to tell me that. But a big thing on... I didn't tell you. I just, you told me not to. Yeah, I did.

But that's part of the social media job. If you're not used to it. Did you get a little feel what it's like to be a lady in broadcasting because then when you go to that message board it's like hey man intern rachel sounds hot there's a picture or like in a lot of emails after that it'd be like uh my leader is the hot sounding intern yeah i liked the one that was like blake looks especially hot today and i liked that when he was gone. No, I mean, I think y'all are just still getting the footing.

So it was really nice to like, I was, I had a lot of fun with the creativity of like, you know, the six, nine day. I liked just the Cowboys training camp kind of promos. Like I tried to get, it really brought out like my creative side and something I really I loved pitching things to Blake yeah if you have uh if you do follow us on the gram doesn't what do you you do a lot of that stuff right you do the video editing and the the little funny videos that have a the captioning like yeah the little graphics that pop up like

Blake does too though like I mean I like I thought thought of myself as kind of Blake's team member, you know, because he does some too. Would you say Blake has been your mentor? Yes. That's who I wrote down as my mentor. Don't admit that. And she's your mentee? Sure. Like everything Rachel is, you have built?

Yeah. Well, I also would like to think i kind of built some of blake so i was like i taught him about adobe express which that kind of hurt me because then he's like well i don't really need you anymore he's like that's coming for all of us so i was like ai took my job a little bit um no it's been been really... I mean, there's AI, but you cannot... The creative part that comes behind the inspiration,

the idea of how you're putting it all together, I just don't think AI can do that like what a human can. Yet. I guess this is interesting too, Jake, because back in the radio days, when we had an intern, I knew everything the intern was doing like I

just I knew how to do what they did too and but it was stuff that like I don't know is not so I guess some of it is busy work but it's just taking stuff off your plate and then if they get good at that they could do something that might we might use on the air and then have the confidence that okay if you give it to us on the air i don't have to check it i know that you've checked it three times already and it's going to be good and blah blah blah and the difference with rachel is like i have no idea what she's doing and if she tells like she's if she's like i can't like if we had an intern in radio and they said oh oh, I can't do this.

I'd be like, yeah, you can. You just have to do this and this and this. Right. This is how you cut that or this is what. But Rachel, if she says I can't do it or whatever, I just believe her. Yeah. I don't think I've ever said I can't do it. And I'll go home and take lessons.

Like I will tell Blake, like, hey, if this is what you want me to learn, like to do the different colors. Like I will just sit there over the weekend and go into audition and do an entire lesson or premiere so what did you do mostly like just video stuff or a lot of online social stuff pull yeah blake i mean most is social i did all of the tiktok got that up and running um you invented our tiktok no no no i mean technically there. Okay. Y'all just didn't have videos on it. At least doubled our followers. Yeah, that was and I mean, like, yeah. Did we have to start with two? I would say I've probably done like a hundred

videos at least. Wow. Maybe not, maybe more. And definitely all the graphics, like i did the one for uh what was last week uh the show that i got the lettering from blake oh the sopranos so the sopranos yeah so i had to like go i had to learn how to do that and like grab that was cool grab the lettering and like re go into like photoshop and copy and paste. Yeah, I've learned a ton. I think that's cool too. Much like, I guess, some advertising, you would say, well, what does it mean?

Like, what is that? We did have a cool Sopranos graphic on Instagram or whatever. What does it mean in the end? Or do you just have to add it all up together? I believe that is what we go with. I think I like the small details of things. I appreciate the bits, especially the deep bits. Some of the TikToks I would tag at Chisholm Trail.

And I'm like, not everyone will know that. But the people that do will appreciate it. So wait, you were at Chisholm Trail when you would do it? No, I would just tag it there. No, you just add the location as that. Oh, okay. You can change it to anything. Okay, so if somebody is an insider, they'll follow that.

Well, they'll see it and they'll be like, oh, okay. Like, you know, it's a little nod. Yeah, just like any show that has little Easter eggs in it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I love the Easter eggs. Rachel was kind of the annoying intern that if I said, hey, yeah, just if you wouldn't mind just kind of learning how to do this one thing. And then she would take like a weekend online course, dedicate 10 or 12 hours to it, and

then just become a master at it. And then like, I didn't mean for you to take up your whole weekend to learn how to do this one thing. I wanted to really like, I like helping and I want it to be the best. Like I really, I love the dumb zone. I loved listening before I like sent in my resume, just kind of cold calling.

I even put like, you know, give me a chance to earn your business. Like I put that on my email. And you know, I thought, why not try? Like just shoot my shot. And, uh, when you believe in like the company that you're trying to represent and you, and you like the show yourself, it's not as hard because it's like, you really, truly believe in it.

So it's not hard to sell. You're saying that and looking at your husband and he's nodding. And, uh, so it sounds like these are conversations you guys had at home. Well, I mean, who do you think watched our son? I was like, do you love the dumb zone, honey? Because if you do, you're going to let me do this work. Okay. So, yeah, he watched a lot of stuff.

Well, the stuff looks great. Well, thank you. Yeah, I've really, really enjoyed it. And yeah, I'll be, I'm a little sad to go. So, I mean, yeah, I'm here if y'all want in the future. And it's been just, I'm still in school. I have two more years probably. But yeah, this was a lot of fun.

It brought out a real creative side. And yeah, I've learned about Reddit. I've learned about comments. Well, you've learned that you sound hot. Okay. I'm just saying, that's what I read on Reddit. That's me personally. You can't get in trouble with HR because it doesn't exist.

Yeah, we don't have an HR. Yeah, so for your future interns, you guys might want to look at some contracts before things, maybe some HR. Just maybe, like, if you're not hiring a fan. That'll be the last thing that we end up doing. Having a contract? No, HR. You don't want paper trails? That's right. We can't have HR. that'll be the last thing that we end up doing well you might need to call a lawyer

no HR you don't want paper trails that's right we can't have HR HR is just there to protect the company though not the people that's true it's very true do not go to HR

yeah it's a general rule in your job okay but as the company owner you probably shouldn't tell people not to go to HR because that would be a huge red flag well that's the reason we don't want to have an HR because we think it's hypocritical to just have something just to protect us. Yeah.

Yeah. So that's why we're going bareback, honey, because I don't want protection. Oh, you don't trust me? We're bareback in the HR. You don't trust me? Yeah. I know what I'm doing.

I've been doing this for years. Here's a comb. You can comb it out after we're done. Holy shit. What? I don't even know what you guys are thinking of. I hope you haven't said that to somebody. Why would I carry a comb, Blake?

Crab man. That's ridiculous. Not crab man. No, now you are. Anyway, I think it's... Hey, it's Hot Spice and Crabman. Okay, wait. So I get a nickname from a NFL All-Pro, and I get a nickname from...

Just a story from your past. From the student... What do you call it? The health center that opened at 7 a.m. and I was sitting on the doorstep up all night. Looking like a

mangy dog. The one thing I did want to say, that video, your one year review by the way, that was probably my proudest project because I did that entirely. Like every, I think I had like 59 layers of graphics. Like it was so much fun. It's on YouTube.

It's like one of the most watched videos on YouTube. But who's counting? But who's counting? Those I checked the comments on because I'm like, man, I worked really hard on that one. I think I stayed up for four nights with two hours of sleep. Wow, I appreciate that. But yeah, that one I

am very proud of. Where can I find that? HTTPS colon slash slash YouTube.com The one year review? Yeah. Is that what it says? It's very good. Thank you.

Okay, well, I need to go find it because I can't see it. We'll figure it out. But anyway, again, just thank you guys for letting me be the first intern. You can never have another first. This is true. I popped the cherry. Oh, jeez. Call HR on this kid.

Call HR. And she brought her husband just so Reddit knows. Look, I got a husband. Stand down. Get off me. Also, they like to argue together online. They like to argue about the stars on Twitter. That I just don't understand.

Everybody's different. They can't do it when they get home. Yeah, just don't understand. Everybody's different. They can't do it when they get home. Yeah, I don't know. It's foreplay. It's online foreplay. That's a foreign land to me. They get home, you're already all pissed at each other,

and now you can make up. I think that's the point. Oh, jeez. He may have... He may have moosed. Should we slide into the news? Or what are we doing? Do whatever the hell you want, man.

It's your show. Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News. This isn't really much news other than the FBI in Dallas and the Everman Police Department held a press conference this morning. That one, that's kind of a layup. Everman is? It's like within the Fort Worth School District, isn't it?

Yeah, but most of the schools I know are local. Everman, what are they? Bulldogs. I'm impressed. Thank you. Sorry about Jake. Well, you're going to be are they? Bulldogs. I'm impressed. Thank you. Sorry about Jake. Well, you're going to be impressed with all of them. I should be the...

Raise your hand if you knew Everman Bulldogs. No one in this room did. Okay, but I should be the clearinghouse because I know a little bit of high school football. And so if he's going to know all of it, you don't know... My point is, though, the audience is probably like, whoa, this Blake... Lighter in the all of it, you don't know. My point is, though, the audience is probably like, whoa, this Blake.

Lighter in the air. Unbelievable. I don't. And you're just peeing all over it. I don't think Everman people are that impressed by that. I don't. All right, we'll get your little story. Email.

Email. Do you guys recall that last year there was a little boy, a six-year-old, who went missing? No, because I turned off the Amber Alert on my phone. This one is way bigger than an Amber Alert. The parents and the sister, or I guess it was like his stepdad, his mom, and his sister, all purchased, I guess the adult purchased, one-way tickets to India

the day after he went missing and were gone. And have not been seen since. That seems suspicious, Jake. Yeah. Quite. A month after he went missing, this is back in April, some people in the

neighborhood called saying, you know, hey, that family in the neighborhood called saying, hey, that family with the missing kid just poured some concrete recently. Oh no. They dug up this concrete and they found human remains, but

they were not able to even match it to him because they were so not human anymore. So the kid is dead. And the family went to a country of, I'm going to guess, is it like two billion? I swear to God, I wasn't looking. Why did you look at Pataan?

He was just in my field of vision. You did look over at Patat and ask. There's a guy sitting here named Patat. Okay. I think it's one. I think it's one billion. It's one? Okay.

Two sounds way too much, but I think we have the internet to help with that. One and a half. I split the baby. So you just take off and you're gone. And are they of Indian? I would guess. Their last name is Singh. Yes. But they actually have a very confusing last name.

I believe the kid's name is Rodriguez Alvarez. Last name with a hyphen. The mom's name is Rodriguez Singh. So when she remarried, I guess she took the last name Singh. How does the Mexican do that? Or the Latin?

The Latin. No, when I was in Mexico, did they do this in Spain? It's a very logical way that they do last names. Ladies don't just get rid of their last name. They're all hyphenated. way that they do last names. Ladies don't just get rid of their last name. Right. They're all hyphenated. And the kids... So you will just know... You could follow someone's last name through both sides of the family, whereas here, you

only follow the man's side. Yeah, I don't know. I know that Rodriguez Singh is a funny combination of last names. My mom was Landy Cabrera Aramis. And I'm trying to remember if the dad was Cabrera. Or if the dad was Aramis. Well, back to you, Jake. A couple of other stories related to the children.

There was a missing kid in Grapevine yesterday. That Amber Alert went off when I was on the phone with you guys. you want to talk did they check the cement i don't know that there were concerns to that degree quite yet but you want to talk about i'm sure it's like this in in every city but in the little lily white suburb if there's a kid they don't know where he is for an hour everybody knows. Like, blast out from the school district, from the police department. You know, I don't know that they got anything else done yesterday. It's like, we're finding this kid.

Did they find the kid? They did. He left home to walk to Glenhope Elementary School. And something I learned is they don't do the Amber Alert right away. Like, I think they wait until it's a few hours in where they're like, okay, this might actually be, because it makes sense, because otherwise you'd be doing it all the time. My wife would do it for me all the time.

You would do it for your iPhone. Yes. His iPhone will just be under a piece of paper, and he's just tapping on his little watch over there. Like, where is it? Dude, my phone. The battery won't last, like, two hours now. Because it's too small.

I feel like I need to get a new phone or a new battery before we go to Cleveland. Because if we're going to go out and do something, my phone will be dead right away. I can't wait. This is going to be great. I was looking online for an iPhone 12 mini. They don't have... You're not...

Mini? 13 mini. At least upgrade to the 13. They have a 13 mini? That was the last mini. I had a mini for a long time. Weren't they great? Best phone they've ever made.

They fit right into the palm of your hand. Phenomenal. It doesn't take up the entire pocket. You can put some keys in there, too. Let's see if I can lift this phone of mine. Well, yours is a big one. It's so huge. How would I ever just hold it in my hand like a normal person?

That's a normal phone now. I know. Now it's normal. What is that? Jake actually couldn't pick up the phone. Patan has a giant phone. He's got an iPad phone. That's the future.

It folds. Yeah. A folding phone. Yeah, we can fold screens now. So, can you do... I was looking at buying it on Amazon. Is that wrong? Should I not do that?

That's confusing. Because it seems pretty spare. He's an Apple store vet. So, ask him. We have an expert on the population of India. Sketch? Well, at least I won according to Price is Right rules. So I said won.

Would you say go to the Apple Store? They're not going to have them in store. The only way you can buy them now is the certified refurbs. At the bottom, there's a... That sounds spare. No, you get the same warranty as a brand new phone. Refurb? That means someone else used it.

But it's going to have to be. There's none of those phones left. That's like a hotel towel. But there's none of those phones left in circulation. Someone else watched porn on it. Yeah, I can't do it. Get ready for a big phone. Yeah, get ready for a big phone then.

This is the smallest phone you can get now. Jake's struggling lifting it. How big is yours, Blake? Same size? I got no case, so it's going to feel... Yeah, regular phone. Okay, Blake's with no case is similar to mine. Still a little big, though.

Let's see if I can fit this in my pocket. What's your screensaver? It's not even your kid. No, it's the Luka game winner against Rudy Gobert. Respect. You have a two-year-old kid. Yeah, I see him every day. Kind of an adjacent story. I got married last year, and I was asking my friends

how long before I could take off the photo that was me and my wife. Yeah, that's a tough one. You kind of can't. You can never set the precedent. Don't put it on there to begin with. I did seven months. Yeah, but then you change it. What's going on?

See, and that's what I was going to say about Blake. You're screwed because you have to get a big phone. See, I can't button the pocket. Well, then don't put it in your back pocket. That's where the phone goes. No. Who does that? You don't want to sit on it. Back pocket is the the pocket. Well, then don't put it in your back pocket. No, that's where the phone goes. No. Who does that? You don't want to sit on it.

Back pocket is the right pocket. Thanks. Man, this is my guy. You want to come in again tomorrow? Do you pee sitting down? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Dan's in love.

Let's say you got to park. How do you... Don't blow it down. Pull right in or... See, now this one Then you know Why are you putting your phone in your back pocket I don't know if I go jogging

Then just put it in the front pocket I can't put it in the front pocket It works fine Have you ever tried the back pocket For an extended period of time Well I put my wallet in my back pocket You have two back pockets And I just I put my wallet in my back pocket. You have two back pockets. And I just...

I put my... It doesn't make any... Right. Then you have wallet, keys, money, phone.

But nowadays, there's no money. Yeah. Doesn't money go in wallet? No. That would go in my separate pocket. What?

That was my four pockets. We've branched. Wallet, keys, money, phone. Oh, okay. Sorry. That was years ago, though. Yeah. Wallet keys, money, phone. Oh, okay. Sorry. That was years ago, though. Yeah. Because I don't have money anymore.

Yeah, I just have plastic. Okay. Well, anyways, you're going to have to get a new big phone, and he is screwed on that case thing. We were talking about this with Cass yesterday off the air. Why? What happened? Well, he has no case.

So, if he ever wants a case, we're going to absolutely roast him over it. No, he wants no case. No, I had no case up until a week ago, and I finally broke it. I've had no case for like five years. A couple outcomes here, Dan. One, he drops it with no case, messes up his phone, and we can see it, and we'll make fun of him for like, why didn't you have a case? He gets a case.

We make fun of him for that. Or if he drops his phone and breaks it, he immediately has to buy a new one so that we don't know and he can keep up the no case life without us. Either way, he's fucked. Well, no, what you should do though is

do you have the Apple protection thing? Of course he doesn't. Because I never buy that. So some credit cards have phone insurance now. So like when I broke my phone, instead of it being, like, $400 to fix, it was $50.

As long as you pay... Are you married, Matt Rosenblum? I have been married for about a year. Oh, that's right. He just said he had the thing. Because it feels like I would like to marry him. Anyways, this kid in Grapevine missed his bus. Oh, okay.

And he decided to, he was going to walk to school, but he walked to a friend's house and fell asleep on the couch. I have a lot of questions. Like, were the parents home at this house? Did he just have access to this house? Yeah, and it's early, it's in the morning, so you're still tired? Yeah. And it's early. It's in the morning, so you're still tired. Why?

You just got up. Got your day going. Listen, man. You could just go somewhere and fall asleep. When I was... Trust me. When I dropped my daughter off at 7.30 every morning, 7.20, she could fall back asleep if she needed to. And that's after being up for almost an hour.

You don't remember how tired you were as a kid? If you think about it, they work longer hours than most adults these days. Especially if you play sports. Yeah, if you go to school. That's why you know what you guys are going to start bitching about someday? Like I did? Homework. Oh, yeah.

You've been gone for seven hours. Yeah. And then they give you all this stuff that I don't understand, and you're asking me to help you with it, and it's 8 o'clock, and you've been working on it already for an hour. And that'll probably fall to me.

Yeah. It just exposes that you're an idiot. Another scary kid's story. Four-year-old in Dallas who is nonverbal and on the spectrum was left alone on a hot school bus for hours. So the bus picks her up at 8 a.m. And she didn't get off at her stop. And then I guess the driver didn't notice that she was on it

and just took it to the, I guess they have like a bus depot where all the buses live overnight. The bus barn. In Lancaster. I was not aware. I guess I never really thought of where do they take all the buses. Yeah, all the school buses got to go somewhere. Yeah.

Yeah, sometimes you see a big parking lot with just buses. And it's like 90 degrees. Kid doesn't speak. Yeah. But then they found her the next day? They found her like late in the day yesterday and had to take her to the hospital and, you know, evaluate her, get her fluids because she was super dehydrated. I was in my garage last night. It was so hot.

And I was thinking I should charge people to come in here like they do the sauna at the gym. Like it felt just like the sauna. Yeah. So we had this conversation, my wife and I, this morning. And she didn't believe me because, okay, I like working out. We talked about this the other day. I like working out when it's super hot. You too?

Yep. I don't like being hot just like, oh, we're just standing outside in a line hot. But if it's let's work out time, I like being super hot. You don't like the nice air condition? No. No, and I don't even like having a fan. I like it hot. The garage gets pretty hot

but a couple mornings a week I will go to the grapevine rec sauna because it's right by where I drop Nora off and I'll just run and then do sauna and why is that different? what do you mean? than the garage? are you about to tell me? yeah because

it gets a lot hotter. Kristen was like what is it in there? Like 105, 110? I'm like, no. It's way more. Is it? It's 160 to 200. In a sauna?

Yeah. Yeah, but in the garage, you get the gasoline smell, and you get a little buzz. That's a good point. That's fun. But yeah, I mean, you walk into a... The steam room is cool. The steam room is awesome. And a dry sauna's great too.

Or, I guess that's what that is, but I'm... The wet one I like. Which I guess is the steam room. The grapevine one only has the sauna. That's a little words

for Jake there. I'm trying to think of... There is no such thing as a wet sauna, right? It's just a steam room. Only when you piss in it. Which I've done. Like Dan thing as a wet sauna, right? It's just a steam room. Only when you piss in it. Like Dan did as a kid. I can't believe you did that.

That's so funny. If you do it right on the rocks, it really smells. No, I don't. It smells up the whole club, as a matter of fact. It's summer camp. I did something I very rarely do this morning, which is I held in a fart while I was in there. Because in general, I don't hold anything

any time ever. If I have to pee, we're peeing. Is it guys and girls? Yeah. It's not nude. Any sauna or steam room I've ever been in, I think, is just in the men's room. Steam rooms are almost always nude.

But saunas, you can get the mix. I mean, I'm like shirt off. I kind of want to go to a sauna now. Dude, it rules. I've been going... I wonder if they have one at 24. They probably do. Yeah, most of them do. We call it 24. Most rec centers don't

have one. You're a workout guy. Just call it a schvitz. Like the Russians? Yeah. What it a schvitz. Like the Russians? Yeah. That's what my people do. It's, you know,

get a sweat. Like my friend take a schvitz in the steam room. They, uh, this comes to us from the eastern hemisphere.

They're very big into the bathhouse culture. Sometimes that's where dudes meet. You know what I'm saying? But I held it in because I just thought,

dude, this would be... It's thick. It's a tight space. There were five people in there. Yeah, it just doesn't feel right. Were you afraid it was going to be loud? No, I can control that by expanding my anus. Interesting.

HEB is coming to Las Colinas. 2026 as we get closer and closer. Is that a big deal? Dude, it's the biggest of deals. Really? It's so great. HEB is the best. I miss it.

Why? So is that Central Market? Central Market is owned by HEB. Okay, because they have HEB stuff on the shelves. It's like the same food, but cheaper. Yeah. You get charged regular grocery store prices, like Tom Thumb, Kroger, Albertsons, except they have awesome

stuff. Yeah, because I've noticed you know how I don't like the Kroger brand whatever it is? Private selection. So they'll have Kroger brand paper towels, but they're always worse than Bounty or whatever. So if they have Kroger brand something towels, but they're always worse than Bounty or whatever. So if they have Kroger brand something else, I just assume it's not as good as the name brand

because the paper towels are so spare. But when you go to Central Market, the HEB stuff, I'm like, well, this is good though. I will buy that, even though it seems to be the store brand. And it's a big store. Like any store brand thing, you're like,

that's not as good as the name brand thing. Yeah, sure. But I'm not going to buy toothpaste at Central Market. But they trick you at some places. Make the packaging nicer? Yeah, like you go to Kohl's? No. You never go to Kohl's? Do you think Kohl's just stinks?

No, I mean... Okay, but they have different lines of clothing. Yeah, I definitely know what you mean. But Kohl's... I thought I was buying a name brand jean or something. Right, they can't just call it Kohl's brand. Yeah. They have a cool name.

You search it and it's like, no, this is only available at Kohl's because Kohl's.com makes it or whatever. But I don't buy toilet cleaner or toothpaste at Central Market, whereas HEB has really good Central Market-type stuff like bread, meat, pre-made stuff if you want meals. Guacamole is exceptional. But you can also just go buy toothpaste

that's made like regular people toothpaste and not toothpaste made out of recycled materials. Yeah, like rock or something that was harvested from a volcano. Yeah, Central Market doesn't have a cool pharmacy. Yeah, you gotta... Too weird.

And then, let's see here. I shouldn't laugh. A 22-year-old man in Dallas was hit by a truck and knocked out cold. Driver did not stop. This happened a couple weeks ago. And the reason this story is notable to me is the guy was on a skateboard. Not a scooter.

And I was just trying to think of the last time I saw someone outside of Venice Beach. Were you a skateboard man? Yeah. But I was not good. Like anything I've done. I had friends who were really good. Could you jump up and on the handrail you just kind of went down it

and then dropped down on the bottom. Is the word he's looking for grind? Is that what you do? Maybe a little 50-50 grind. A little kickflip? I got to the point where I could give you a pretty solid ollie and one out of every maybe 10 times, probably more like 20, finish a kickflip.

It's much harder than it looks to do more than transportation. What's a kickflip? You flip the board. Just flip it looks to do more than transportation. What's a kickflip? You flip the board. Just flip it up and catch it? No. Oh, you flip it and then jump back down? And then you land on it, yeah. You could do that?

To do that, you have to back foot, weight down. Front foot is pushing forward, so that's how the elevation arrives. And now on the front with your foot, you have to flip the board and land back foot, front foot to pull that off. And I could only do it standing. So you've done it.

But I couldn't do it moving. On video anywhere? I don't know. Maybe. I would think if I'd been working on that, I finally could pull it off, I'd want to video it.

We weren't quite as video obsessed. I mean, we definitely got there. But now, I mean, I... You're just doing it for the love of the kickflip? It was all tied into, like, Jackass and CKY, which was stuff that you would get. You could get CKY videos, tapes, Blake, at skate shops.

CKY. Camp Killer Yourself. That was the predecessor to Yourself. That was the predecessor to Jackass. It was the same people, right? Except for Knoxville. Knoxville worked for

a skateboard magazine. And I believe his first stunt that got him linked up we're going to do a little history here with Spike Jones and Jeff Tremaine and then ultimately with Bam and Camp Kill Yourself.

It was the, yeah. He got shot a bunch of times wearing a bulletproof vest. So stupid. And he was like the good-looking guy who could be the front. Whereas like Bam and all his dudes were from, you know, I don't want to say backwoods, but like a pretty white trash area of Pennsylvania. Yeah. And then they got Knoxville

and the rest is history. But it was all skateboard based. But my point is, I very rarely see just a guy, like when we're leaving downtown for work, I don't just see people skateboarding. And maybe it's because

you're likely to get hit by a car. But yeah, I didn't stop. Also, it was 2.20 in the morning on Audelia. Skateboarding at 2 in the morning? I don't want to victim blame, but let's just see if I can take a cruise through Lake Highlands on a skateboard

at 2.30. Negligence-wise, you're kind of high up there. Adelia and what? It doesn't say. Adelia's pretty hilly. Probably get some speed if you're going downhill. Might be fun.

I lived on Adelia and Northwest Highway. Look it up. I'll do that. Right by Flagpole Hill. It was definitely very popular when I lived in San Marcos for people to do the longboard. Which you're not doing, I'm sure some people do, but it's not really trick-based.

Like, we would go to the skate park, you know? Longboard was just kind of, it looked like a cool guy thing that was probably to pick up chicks. Was longboarding popular, like, in Denton? It sounds like a cool guy thing that was probably to pick up chicks. Was longboarding popular like in Denton? It sounds like it. It does sound like it. You were not a skateboard guy? No.

I played real sports. I never said it was a sport. All right, there's your news. It's like the Dude Perfect. People are debating whether they're athletes. Good God. Dude, I got to tell you, I went to dinner on Friday night, and that we just said at the bar was like a sushi place.

The Dude Perfect documentary was on. Everyone sitting in the bar was wrapped with attention. Families, they're not going away. People aren't a dude perfect, and I don't get it. Do you feel like Michael Douglas in Falling Down? Can't take enough?

That plus the big justice in the Rizzler, and I no longer understand the world. Nothing wrong with dude perfect. You know what we should talk about for a moment before we do Today in History? What's that? Is early bird CBD gummies.

As they're all the rage. They're fantastic. Unless you have to take a drug test. I want to be very clear about that. They have 2.5 milligrams of natural THC in them. And they're going to give you a little good feeling. But not too much as one that has sampled them in the past few days.

Oh, yeah? Rather than hit your two, three Miller Lights just to take the edge off, or maybe if you're a female or whatever, a glass of wine, just pop one of these in. You were looking a little slim. You know, you've been cutting back on the empty calories.

Yeah, just pop this gummy in. Flavors are wonderful. Hits you in about 30 minutes minutes and then you're feeling good. And they're based in Austin. They're from Texas. These are Texas gummies. Do you think females don't drink beer? What are you saying? I was going to say

my wife will drink a glass of wine, but I didn't want to just say wine is just for females. Now, who are the early bird gummies for? Everyone. Everyone. Except for people that have a drug test coming up. Yeah.

CDL, maybe you don't want to. Yeah. What if you're about to operate heavy machinery? Probably not. Probably not. They will ship to all 50 states, though. Not just Texas. And, yeah, they're legit.

They make you feel nice. Maybe you're going out. Hey, I got a big concert tomorrow night. Perfect. I'll be dipping into the old early bird. Going to a nice dinner? Early bird. Perfect.

Flying a plane? No. No. Okay. Will it help you sleep? It might, but these are not sleep gummies. Yeah. Okay.

These are feel-good gummies. But if you've got overactive brain and you have a hard time falling asleep because of that, these might be good for you. Okay. So if you just have done CBD before, this is probably better. Yes. There's no probably about it. These are not your...

Got a little THC. They're not your grandpa's gummies. But not too much. A little CBD. A little CBD, yeah. Go to earlybirdcbd.com. That is a website, Dan. Okay.

And you enter the code DUMBZONE. Websites are big now. And you'll get 20% off. What's the code? DUMBZONE. Now, if I'm really not paying attention because I'm laughing at all how funny our spot is... And you've maybe just taken your own early bird?

Will that be in the show notes? Yes, right under the Cancer GoFundMe will be our coupon code. Well, don't say it with such disdain. Start with one. Take one gummy this weekend and report back to us. Maybe leave us a voicemail or something. All right. The Dumb Zone presents Today in History.

Oh. Jeez, dude. Leaning over here. Okay, there we go. Leaning over here. Okay, there we go. That's good stuff. Ah, this guy. I don't even believe him. Who's on the call tonight?

Man, that's terrible that RG3 got run. Dude, you know what's weird about that? You had to pay him anyway. Pay him out his contract. I don't understand it. Let him just do the game. Because a source very close to a source very close to ESPN told

us that he was like a part of the meetings. Like when they were doing like a month ago. Yeah, two months ago that he was on. And you know what sucks? I'll tell you who's on the call tonight for Colorado North Dakota State. Mark Jones? Mark Jones without

RG3. That was a magical duo. Some spare former linebacker. Roddy Jones? I think RG3 was trying to build his brand too much. No, you know what this means. No. Probably hooked up with an intern

or something. No. If it's this late in the game and it's this sudden, then yeah, something like that. Yeah, but if that were the case, like I saw he was on Rich Eisen's show the other day being sad about it. If you get run for that, you go away. You hide?

Yeah. I saw him hosting a Call of Duty tournament. Like he was one of the announcers. He's sad, dude. He don't need to work. RG3 set? I bet so, dude. I think he's probably.

But tomorrow. He didn't get in under the huge, huge rookie contract. No, he was much later than that. But I think he's probably done pretty well for himself. But for Clemson, Georgia, at 11 o'clock on Saturday. Ted Emmerich? Greg McElroy, no. Oh, okay.

Teddy's on his way up, but he will currently, this weekend, be calling ACU at Texas Tech. Okay, he gets to go to Lubbock. Nothing wrong with Lubbock, man. Let's get Ted on. Put it in the show notes. Book Ted. I was trying to think of if we could add someone else to pick games. We want to announce that soon, right?

Next week, are we going to do announcements for the fall lineup? Sure. Big announcements next week. We're going to Cleveland. I was thinking of Ted Emmerich, but then he wouldn't even be allowed to, would he? Probably not. You can't have a sports announcer picking games. Today is Thursday, August 29th.

On this day in 2005, Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, bringing floods to devastated New Orleans. More than 1,800 people died. They bombed the levees. What does that mean? Look it up. All right. Spike Lee made a documentary about it. On this day in 2008, Republican presidential nominee John McCain picked Sarah Palin.

Oh, yeah. Worked out well. A conservative who had been governor of Alaska for less than two years to be his running mate. Were you just stoked? Oh, yeah. Yeah. On what?

Her. Just getting to see more of her. Because she's all hot? Oh, yeah. She's crazy. Yeah, it's good stuff. On this day in 2013, in a new policy statement, the Justice Department said it would not stand in the way of states

that wanted to legalize, tax, and regulate marijuana. As long as there were effective controls to keep it away from kids, the black market, so they didn't want African Americans to have it. And federal property. They don't want inmates to have it. Now, as far as that first part goes, the keep it away from being marketed to kids, would you say putting it in the form of, I don't know, nerd ropes and sour punch straws? It's really weird.

And Skittles and Jolly Ranchers. Is that... Calling it like Candyland. Yeah, does that fit with that? It's the weirdest thing to buy gummies. Yeah. That look like, yeah. They should just be little things of broccoli.

That's not a bad idea. It just looks like cauliflower rice. Like, yeah. They should just be little things of broccoli. That's not a bad idea. Like, it just looks like cauliflower rice. Like, yeah, that's a great point. It's insane, dude. Okay, so we don't have Joe Camel. Right. Like, so we have a cartoon promoting something that's kind of gross to a kid. Yeah.

And we say that's illegal. But what if we package it and make it taste really good i remember the early ones though i don't know if it's different now but the early ones they were all the same size somebody brought me back some from colorado and the only way you could tell is the package said this is 100 milligrams or this is 50 or this is 10 and you would come to find out 2.5 is... You should probably start with something like that. But I think I started with a 50.

Yeah. Nailed me to the... He's right. They would make the 150, 10, and 5 were all the same size. They all were like a Jolly Rancher. So you're like, okay, how am I going to break this 50 up? Right.

It's that small. And I didn't know. I didn't have any point of – I had never done it before. I'm glad you made it, dude. Thanks. And on this day in 2017, comedian Kathy Griffin, I was really glad that the softball game got rained out the next day. Because I spent the whole night trying to write my name.

Like, I'm like, I'm so messed up, I can't write. I'm just trying to, let me just do something I know how to do, and I couldn't do it. And it was with me all weekend. Kathy Griffin. He arrived at, okay, what can I do to try to balance myself? Let me try to write my name. That's pretty great.

Kathy Griffin retracted her apology. So she posed with what appeared to be the severed head of President Donald Trump. So remember she did that, then issued an apology and now on this day in 2017 she retracted that apology saying the anger against her was overblown

what a mess she's full on crazy haven't seen her in a while I think she got sick man oh really? didn't she? wasn't she like the poster child for plastic surgery?

Like she got new boobs and new everything? I don't know. I guess what I'm saying is I never really thought that her appearance improved. So I never thought of her that way, but she does have... Yeah, last time I saw her, she was bald. And I don't think it was

a fashion choice well that's not good and on this day in uh 2003 uh famous wedding on this day amy poehler married will arnett in 2003 on this day then they would divorce in 2016 after Will Arnett realized that she had a bag of nothing. I don't really, I don't find her funny. There you go. But I was hoping they'd make it. I want what's best for Job. Birthdays today. Former Longhorn, Chris Sims, 44.

Sorry, Jake. Did you hate him? Yeah. Because he took Major's job? He was handed Major's job. He didn't take anything. He was handed Major's job because they had made a promise to fill Sims. Well, you had to.

That's also a message to future recruits. If I promise you I'm going to start you, then I'm going to start you. Yeah, well, it worked out great. I'm going to say he quarterbacked the worst loss in Texas history. Colorado? No. No, but OU, was it 66-3? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's bad, but they had a chance to win the national championship by simply beating a very average Colorado team at Texas Stadium. And the only reason it was close is because they broke major open midway through the third quarter and they almost came back. A win and they're in. And the front page of the morning news the next day had Chris Sims on the

bench crying. At least I had that. Former Cowboy Jay Ratliff is 43. But at least they learned from that. And from there going forward, whenever they promised somebody that they would be the starting quarterback, like, oh, I don't know, Garrett Gilbert, they then

went on to not recruit Johnny Manziel or Robert Griffin III as quarterbacks. They could be safeties. Was that all Mack? Yeah. Former Ranger Roy Oswalt, 47. Barely.

I think I confused him with the guy that got high and crashed his little airplane in the Hudson. Is that Roy Halliday? Yeah. Roy Oswalt, I think, negotiated a John Deere tractor into his contract. That's a solid pull. I like what you're doing there.

I completely forgot he was a ranger. Who did the horse? I think it was two horses. Current ranger, Evan Carter, 22. What happened to him? Very hurt. Thought he was the future. Hurt his back.

That's a good sign at 22. Was he hitting like 180 or something this year? He's not good. At least Leiter was solid yesterday. Have you all seen Kumar? Okay, so divert from the fact that Leiter sucks to, yes, Kumar Rocker's had a solid two months. Triple A? He just got moved to Triple A.

Pitched last night or the night before, five innings, 10 Ks. One hit. He looks awesome. Former Maverick Devin George is 47. You remember that? I do remember that. I think I always confuse between him and what's his name? Derek Fisher, as far as they wouldn't participate in a trade.

Yeah, Derek Fisher was very short-lived. I think Derek Fisher was, I want to go spend time with my family. And then immediately signed with the Thunder. He had a sick daughter. Yeah. And then was on the Thunder like two months later. with the Thunder. He had a sick daughter. Yeah. And then was on the Thunder like two months later. Yes. And I believe

Devin George wouldn't approve a trade and it jammed everything up. Awesome sports name. Vi Sikahama is 62. Jamal Lewis is 45. I thought we just did him.

Yeah. Today? Nah. Recently. I could be wrong. Noah Syndergaard is 32. I worked out next to him once. Born in Mansfield, Texas.

Bob Beeman is 78. Bob Beon. For many years, he had the long jump world record. Rebecca DeMornay is 65. Actor. Who? She was a hot in the 80s.

Okay. Rebecca DeMornay. She's hot today. The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. That's one you should see. Really? You shouldn't see it. She's like

an evil nanny. Okay. You haven't turned me off yet. Oh, she's the mom from Wedding Crashers. Oh, is she? Yeah from Wedding Crashers. Oh, is she? Yeah.

That Vince Vaughn is... She wants Vince Vaughn to feel her up. No, the other one. Owen Wilson. Okay, Owen Wilson. Man, she's extremely hot in that movie. She makes him feel her up and then she calls him a perv. Yeah.

Singer Liam Payne is 31. I'm going to guess something British boy band. Very good. One Direction. Okay. He's one of the lessers. That's got to suck so bad. I was thinking about that watching the NSYNC

and Backstreet Boys documentary. Like to be guy three through five, just be like, fuck, man, these other guys are extremely famous, like billion type famous. They're not billion, but you know what I mean. So you just never want to break up? You're just hoping that it comes back around. Like the Backstreet Boys are getting some commercial money right now. NSYNC will play

an occasional pop-up here and there. I was actually thinking about that, about the sixth dude from Dude Perfect when I watched that. I really hope they took care of this dude. The dude that's not really

in the group? He was. The video guy? No, no, no. The guy that they had in college who was in the group? He was. The video guy? No, no, no. The guy that they had in college who was in the group who decided he wanted to go to medical school. Oh. And he was a part of everything. He lived in the house. He was a part of everything they did in college. And they're talking to the main dude.

And he's like, I thought that was so cool at the time that he knew we wanted to do with his life. And we were just kind of like, I don't know wow and i believe he became a doctor and now they're all making 20 million yeah at least i hope they take care of them they didn't actor beth dover is 46 she was in orange in the new black is the new black are you into that I watched the first couple seasons. I liked it, but I kind of gave up on it. She's also Nurse Beth on Children's Hospital. Which, if you've never seen Children's Hospital, I would realistically say you need to see that. They're only like 10 minutes, right?

Yeah, they're great. The Sister of Ben. That's just Bush League as is it all get out. Don't laugh at that. It took you like a minute to come up with that? No, I was letting y'all... Letting us what? I don't know, letting y'all talk for a little bit.

I was sitting on it. Damn, dude. And he's laughing out loud at it right now. It was really funny. Do you know there was a radio guy in Dallas named Ben Dover? I do, yeah. No. And he

used to work for Cliff. And he got mad at me. Because I found out and then I talked about this on the air. I found out that wasn't his real name. Yeah.

His name was like Ben Schwartz or something, and he changed it for on air, and it was Ben Dover. I'm like, wait, you don't change your name to that unless you're Wacky Morning DJ. Yeah. But he was like financial advice guy on Cliff. Didn't make any sense. But he was like financial advice guy on Cliff. Didn't make any sense. And then he got pissed and complained to Bennett or somebody about me that I was on the air making fun of his name.

Yeah, I mean... And he's like, I'm a serious... He's in the morning news. He had a column. Yeah. And I'm like, he wasn't a bit guy. Like, if you're doing bits, if you're Spicoli on the bone, you know, I get it.

Right. At least CBS 11's Ken Molestino was born with that name. Right. I would change that, too. Of course. But you don't change from something to Ben Dover

and then be upset people aren't taking me seriously. Hey. Brian Chesky is 43, the founder of Airbnb. People are mad at Airbnb. They are not doing well.

What do you mean? Fees? Yeah. It's so expensive. People are preferring to go to hotels. Because, I mean, last time I did an Airbnb, it was a five-page manual on how to take out the garbage before you leave and all that stuff. It was just a real beatdown. That's a bunch of bullsh.

Yep. But if you're staying somewhere with, like, five dudes, it feels like that's going to be financially better. There's definitely a place for it. It's not for the one-off, one person. What would we have done on that Idaho trip? There were 16 of us. It's the only option.

We're not going to go to a resort. How much was that Airbnb a night if it was just one person paying? Was it thousands? It was over a thousand, but I don't think it was in the... I'd have to look. It was a lot. It was a lot. And...

Maybe 2,000. You're like, let's come around from the beginning of the show? Mm-hmm. You've been thinking that since I mentioned? Tom Six is 51. The director of The Pede? of the show. You've been thinking that since I mentioned. Tom Six is 51. The director of The Pede? The writer and the director. Yeah.

Of Human Centipede. That's kind of the type of movie that if you're gonna write it, you have to also direct it. Let's look for a director. Hey, nobody's picking this up. Well. He also invented Big Brother. Really?

The TV show. Which is still cooking. I've always wanted to give it a try. What is it? It's just cameras in a house? Yeah. You got to come together to vote people out or something? Yeah, and they have small challenges and stuff like that,

but there's hidden cameras, and they have to actually live together. They take their cell phones. Boy, I'd love to get voted out of that. Yeah, but I think you win money, though. Still. Once you're in there, you're like, ah, this sucks. Dude, one time when I was living in Denton with my good friend,

who eventually earned his doctorate from UNT, eventually earned his doctorate from UNT. There was a thing on Showtime called Big Brother After Dark. And it was basically, it was live. And it was uncut. And my friend, this is at a point where he was not really going to class. He eventually got it together and got the doctorate. i was going to class believe it or not and he would stay up all night and just smoke cigarettes and like drink beer drink coffee and watch big brother after dark and he literally woke me up one night came in my room probably two o'clock in the morning woke me up he's like bro dude you gotta see this

I'm like what the fuck and I go out there and he has paused Big Brother after dark he's like you can see this chick's hole and it was just a chick's asshole she was just laying there? yeah like it was not like she was not involved in a sexual act

you woke me up for that? it was just like a fact the fact that a sexual act. It was just like the fact that... You woke me up for that? It was just like the fact that the chick who's on CBS 11 in primetime was wearing a short skirt and had no underwear on and was laying down. He's like, hey... Because he watched the show, too. And he's like, look, big brother, you can see your hole. I'm like, dude, are you kidding me? And it was like in night vision.

It was like all green and black, you know? That's not erotic. But they would actually run it like uncut. And he'd watch it. Oh, yeah. And he could be my doctor someday. No, he's a Joe Biden type doctor. Oh, okay.

He knows a lot about like the Middle East. Born on the stay now dead, John Locke. Says here the father of liberalism. Not the way you think of it. He's not hugging a tree. No. Vegan. Michael Jackson and John McCain.

Oh, he picked his running mate on his birthday. Yeah, well, I like my heroes that don't get captured. Died on this day, we have Gene Wilder. I think I underappreciate Gene Wilder. Blazing Saddles, pretty great. For sure, and I've seen some of his Richard Pryor stuff. Blake, have you done Blazing Saddles? Pretty great. For sure. And I've seen some of his Richard Pryor stuff. Blake, have you done Blazing Saddles? Yes.

Come on. You know, I don't know much about Blake's dad, but... My father-in-law. Okay. Are you just saying if there's a comedy with the N-word in it... I didn't decide to go that far. Just, you know... Richard Jewell.

Horrible story. He got hosed. Yeah. Who? He's the guy who was falsely accused of the Atlanta bombing at the Olympics. Oh, that's right. He was a worker.

Watch that. There's a movie recently. Yeah. It tore his life apart. That's right. I think they found his porn collection. That's the sad part of the whole thing. Well, I don't know.

You live with your mom, and for no good reason, the FBI busts down the door, searches your house. They're like, well, he doesn't have any bomb stuff, but look at these pornos. Wasn't he instrumental in trying like, trying to help? Stopping it, yeah, or, like, helping, yeah. Yeah, he found out. Oh, yeah, you found that awful quick, didn't you? Yeah. That sucks.

And bring him young. He died on this day in 1877. And that was Today in History. We're at that point where we get to closing remarks. As you probably know,

Matt. Now, do we want to hear from from Patad or Ryan or are you would you like to at least... I'm sorry about Jake. Be upset?

We'll let Matt go first. What is it? Sorry about me. Oh, you want to end? Okay. Matt wants to end. You're deferring to the second half? Somebody go.

God almighty. Other guests, please. Okay, Matt is deferring. Yes. Okay. Now, this is Ryan, of course. Husband of Liz. Liz, our attorney.

Did she complain about us a lot or just me? No, but before I start, I have to say I'm speaking on my own behalf. These are my opinions. Smart. I'm not representing the firm, and I'm not providing legal advice. My advisor told me I should say that Okay What do you do for a living?

I just graduated MBA So I went to school with AJ Oh okay My doctor's son My fat doctor's son He's great So yeah Grad graduated in May I'll start my job October so I don't really want to say what it is okay that's okay well way to

go he's great this is a guy who's married to Louis yes no I know the Reddit comments will try and search it out, so you know. But they're not here, so. I wonder if Reddit will say you sound hot. Eh, I doubt it. Okay. So, but no, I do have a couple things. I used to work

offshore, oil and gas. And you guys were talking about I forget how long ago it was, but significant others weighing testicles to see if they've been cheating. Yeah. Many people on the rig have that done.

Damn. Many people. I knew at least three. Besides yourself? I was not part of it. Liz didn't really want me part of that. Do you feel like scientifically that's a thing that actually can work? I bet it is.

I mean, we're offshore for 21 days. Yeah, but it, yeah. Well, what are you testing, though, to make sure you're not rubbing one out? Isn't it important to clean the pipes? They would weigh it. They would, like, put it on the scale before they left, and they'd put it on the scale when they got home. But I'm saying you're –

So you're not supposed to rub one out? Yeah, you're upset that they're cheating on you is one thing, but just kind of handling up on your own business, that's no good. They maybe want to know how much you've been doing. Are you just out there hammering the whole time, and you come back and you can't even register on the scale at all? I mean, some rigs have eight-man rooms, so I don't know. It's like college situation.

Okay. Yeah. You just got to like pull the curtain. Jeez. Put earplugs in. Hope it's just a quiet night. All right. And then the other thing.

Sounds hot. When Liz came and she sat on the round table, she talked about how she got involved. So the dinner, Patat and I share, well, we don't share a birthday. They're one day apart. And so we always go to dinner every year for our birthday. And so that's why Patat's here.

Okay. And ladies and gentlemen, Patat. Yes. Thank you. Who's been a victim of drive-by racism. Yeah, it's okay. As a member of the AAPI community, I'm glad I can bring some DEI to this amazing podcast. I believe I'm the first of that community to be in the sit-in.

I could be wrong, but I'm willing to lend less than one hand. He is the first sit-in, but we have had Akash on a lot. Can I be racist? What's your trainer, Max? He's not Indian. Oh, I'm not Indian. Sorry. I'm Thai, so I'm the other side.

I thought we were just going with the whole. That's the PI part, right? Yeah. You guys were talking about Tom Kim a few weeks back. As someone who's been in the military draft, you guys should look up YouTube or TikTok

Thai military draft. There's some pretty crazy videos in there that you can see. Tom Kim? The golfer. The South Korean golfer. Oh, okay, yeah. He finished fourth, and he was pretty bummed about it. Okay. Because he would have skipped the service if he got the medal.

We also do the military draft, and there's some pretty cool videos. Not cool, but interesting videos you can find on the web. So you can get out of it in Thailand if you have a certain... certain yeah so there's a couple ways you can get out of it um one is if you enroll in certain class and when you're in high school and then for a couple years and you can get out of the draft but then what they do with the ceremony is that at the end of it they you pick out of a box a red or a black card if you pick a red card i think red card you have to serve if you pick a back black card you get away so it you have to serve. If you pick a black card, you get away.

So it's like a big ceremony. Oh my God. Jesus. It's a hunger game. It's literally a hunger game. On the video, you can see when you go out there to pick,

they always have to have someone stand behind you because there's people that faint all the time. They pick a red card and they just faint. So people, someone has to stand behind you

and kind of grab you. Oh my gosh. And then there's certain people up there of certain looks that you... And it's male only, but then you see people up there. It's like, oh, okay. They're not... I don't want to play into a stereotype of Thailand. Now, at this point, are they like in full-on ladyboy garb when they're pulling the car?

No, they're wearing dresses and stuff. They're female. Is that like the most tourist thing I did in Thailand? Which one? I went to a show. Oh, I mean, you know.

The lady boy. It's just a thing? It's just a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Is it weird that I was aroused? Some of them

do look very convincing. Some of them, yeah. You know, some of them do look very convincing. A few drinks into the show, I'm like, I don't know. I mean. But, but yeah, a few drinks into the show.

I'm like, I don't know. But, yeah, thanks for having me. Day two, I think it should have been day one, but I think it's that gap thing that you guys. A lot of people are upset about that. Yeah, you're within 24 hours, you're saying. Yes, I am. I think I signed up the same day. So, set number 763.

Just, you know, I'm glad. Thanks for having me. It's pretty cool to see you guys live here. I've been listening since, you know, not as long as a ticket listener as some of you guys, but I've been over 10 years. So I'm glad to see you guys doing well. We appreciate you being here. Yeah.

Just a couple of nice things to say about each of you. Jake, Generation Kill is awesome. Thank you. I feel like every time you bring it up, it's hard to just get brushed aside, but it's such an underrated show. Thank you. I feel like every time you bring it up, it's hard to just get brushed aside, but it's such an underrated show. I agree. Yeah, it's good to overlook because of Pacific,

Band of Brothers, but it's an amazing show. Dan, back in parking, it's awesome, and people will hate it, just sucks at it. So I'm glad I'm a team back in. And then Blake,

Lindsey Stirling's awesome. Thank you. And then Halo theme song, awesome too as well. Nice. That's a solid closing comment right there. Yeah, it is. That's awesome. Thank you. And then Halo theme song, awesome too as well. Nice. That's a solid closing comment right there. Yeah, it is. That's right.

And now you deferred. Yeah, I'm screwed. Yeah, Matt deferred and he's concerned now. Did you make the wrong choice? Well, I know kind of updating a little bit on the iPhone mini brigade. updating a little bit on the iPhone Mini Brigade. On the website, they have a 512 gigabyte

iPhone Mini 13 available to order if you needed that much space. Okay. I... I've just found the 256. I might be pushing up against it these days. 512, Midnight Black. What do you guys do?

$699. On what? On the Apple? Yeah, on the clearance store area. Look at this. It can be, if you order by... Can you put it in the show notes? If you order in the next hour, it can be sent to you tomorrow.

Let's get on it. Alright. Let's do some work after the show. Alright, no worries. First off... iPhone 13 mini. How about that, guys? You're amazing. You're amazing. Yeah.

Really big fan of y'all. Really excited to have been able to come, you know, see Mozart paint, as someone used to say, especially with the new roof. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Qualis. And so, I just kind of have some scatter shooting stuff from over the episodes. Jake, I'm also a big fan

of kind of strong, burly men giving massages because they can really knock out the muscles. Do you feel kind of weird when it's like an actual super hairy man, so you get those kind of the hair kind of gets brushed on your back. I don't know that I've had that.

Is Gary hairy, Dan? I do not recall. I don't remember him feeling hair against me. I actually have had a female, she was built like a guard, who had hair on her arms.

Two more things. One, Jake, I feel like you get a lot of joy when you say planned obsolescence. Yeah, but I didn't say it just now whenever he was complaining about the battery. That is very true. And then finally, on a previous show, I know the idea of Hanukkah was brought up. Did we ever find out,

you know, it's like seven days, and you're like, well, why is it seven days? Of course it is. It's eight. Oh, it's eight. Well, I'm a terrible Jew. But do you know why it's eight days? Did we ever find out that? No. So during the battle,

there was a rubble. There was rubble everywhere and there was a synagogue. And when they were going through the rubble, they found some oil. And the oil was only supposed to last one day. I bet it lasted eight.

But it lasted eight. Yeah. And so that's... Religion is so funny. It's just like, all right, well, let's just do this forever then i mean that's that's about the only thing i remember i went to jewish day school growing up and

i'm very much not a religious person but you know those things are beating your head every year so that's the cool thing about it being a religion and kind of an ethnicity is that you can just be like oh i don't really pay attention to it at all and just be like, yeah, I'm Jewish. Because you are. Yeah. Whereas I can't just fully renounce my white Anglo-Saxon Protestant upbringing just by saying I definitely don't believe in God.

I'm jealous of you guys is what I'm saying. You weren't chosen for a reason is what you're trying to say. But he doesn't get Christmas. So you got that on him. No. No, and I wonder what happens when you get divorced parents

in the Jewish family. Because, I mean, I got, not only do I got Christmas, I got the new Christmas. Yeah, you got like four Christmas. And then Hanukkah, the only reason why we have gifts is because Jewish kids were jealous.

Yeah, that would make, I've heard that before. It's the only reason why. And my family, whenever growing up, we would just do one big gift anyway. Like we wouldn't do eight small gifts. Small gifts suck.

Yeah. Whenever like your parents feel like they have to do something small to kind of keep you happy. And you're like, you know what? Actually I would have preferred we didn't. Yeah. Well,

once you get to an age where you note that. But when you got little kids your age, it's great. Oh, it's easy now. You get a ton of – you just go to Kroger and go to the toy aisle and buy those things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, those are the items that I wanted to bring up. And again –

Well, thanks for finding Dan a phone. Like, I always wondered that about Jewish kids too, though. Why don't they just do Christmas with a Christmas tree? A lot do. I'm also not religious you know like a lot like we're going to church all the time but we got a christmas tree because it's awesome yeah i know a lot of a lot of my friends that are now married with kids um who are you know both the husband and the wife are jewish they'll still do a christmas tree because

that's what the kids want isn't it hard for them, though, to celebrate these symbols and representations of Christianity like a tree or Santa Claus or reindeer? Not really, because they're bribed with gifts. No, that's what I'm saying, though. Is it like, people are like, oh, that's weird. Those aren't exactly religious symbols. Not at all. No.

Not at all. Well, this has been the best time ever. Rachel brought cookies. Oh, wow. Well, this has been the best time ever. Rachel brought cookies. Oh, wow. Well, let's go dig into that. That expire on 9-11. Oh, wow. Never forget.

Never forget. Adios, mofo. We gotta go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my videos. I love sports! Sports mayor! Sports mayor! Sports mayor! But according to Jake, he's the mayor we deserve! I do, I admit it, I love sports. Sports mayor!