The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 8-9-24: Day 4 at Cowboys training camp, no urgency from Jerry Jones, Joe Biden speaks to the Texas Rangers

Episode Date: August 9, 2024

Support The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneIt's day 4 for us at Cowboys training camp, day 6 on the DZ RV, and patience is waning because we're using each other's bars of soap. Jerry says there's no urgency to CeeDee, CeeDee laughs. Jake says Caleb Williams is the next one, Dan says he'll fail for this one reason. Plus, Joe Biden trying to talk to the Texas Rangers is hilarious (00:00) - Open (18:55) - Cowboys camp: CeeDee tweet (40:13) - Rangers at the White House (01:00:14) - Olympics of the day (01:05:05) - Bears Hard Knocks (01:23:57) - Viewer Mail (01:39:17) - Cowboys player of the day: Tyron Billy-Johnson (01:56:08) - News (02:12:14) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon.

So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program. The Dunzo. All right, time now for our new favorite segment. Yes, what day is it with Todd Meany? Meany. It's Friday. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right,

all right, all right. All right, all right, all right. Happy Friday, guys. Happy Friday, guys. Happy Friday, Dan. Day... Six. Six of the trip. When do we leave? Sunday morning. We're in Oxnard, California.

We are in the DZRV. Right outside of Cowboys training camp. Their practice is they're putting the chalked out on the field. Fans are filing in. Another big day. Yeah, brick by brick. As they prep for their preseason game number one, which will be Sunday,

which Blake informs me we will now be attending, officially. It's a fish. Goated him at breakfast this morning. I'm like, buy the tickets now. I'll bet you can walk up and get them cheaper. I don't know, man. We'll see.

It's a preseason game, man. No one's going to play. We'll see. It's a preseason game, man. No one's going to play. We are on the top row. Like the worst seat in the house. Really? For 50 bucks? For 50 bucks.

Now, like I told you, if you would rather see Seahawks and Chargers, I can get you 50-yard line first row for $6. $6? $6. The cheapest ticket available was $6. $6? The cheapest ticket available was $6. You're underrating the power of the Latino California living cowboy fan. It's strong. It's very strong if yesterday was any evidence.

Walked through the mock game thing yesterday. Yeah, it was packed. It was. Quite the experience. I mean, once again, I was a. It was. Quite the experience. I mean, once again, I was a minority. Mm-hmm. I know. I know how it feels.

I mean, until you got past the gate. Until I got past the gate. Anyway. It's a good time. We're having a good time. I've described it to my family's a good time. We're having a good time. I've described it to my family as a fun beating. Oh, you talked to them. Oh, yeah.

I hadn't talked to my family. My first call home was yesterday. Sunday? Five days in. How do you like that? It's weird. It's future you. No, it's not.

Yeah, it is. I think it is. No, it's not. I love it think it is. No, it's not. I love it. He's right. When the kids get older, there's no need to call home. Like I used to call. Look at this guy.

Loves his wife. Loves his wife guy. Let's get you a bumper sticker. I'm a wife guy. I miss you so much, baby. Oh, man. Maybe just the bottom part of the boob. I can't stand it.

Why don't you guys fly out here so I can see you? Oh, would you please? Okay. I miss you so much. All right. We're going to address this head on. We can put it on my part of the credit card. We're going to address this head on.

I'll pay your plane ticket. I was told when I proposed that my family would come out here once we, late in the game, decided that we were going to go to Cowboys training camp at you guys' whims. And I believe the exact words were something from Dan like, dude, do it. That's great. This is not the ticket. Nobody's going to make fun of you.

We get it. He bought it. He listened to me. Gotcha. What a moron. Why would he ever listen to what I said? Oh, I hate you two so much. And I'm beginning to hate him, too.

No, it's going to be great. It's going to be great. You go to Disney. It'll be fun. My initial plan was for you guys to come with me. Yeah, that was never going to happen. I think it was more of the beating of driving down there. It was not.

What adult wants to go to Disney if they're not with their kid? Besides Christy Scales. Christy Scales. A few people who live out here told me they were like, look, I live in L.A. I've gone with my friends. It would be fun for you guys. Oh, okay. Like if we just had a show trip to Disney.

Maybe get a little shroom bar. I was not going to say it because I knew I didn't have to. Yeah. Anyway, so, yeah, that's our weekend preview. Hey, by the way, who are you? I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jake Kemp. I'm Blake Jones. Thanks for the reset. Then we're going to do it every day.

So you said it's a fun beating. Yeah, it's certainly a beating. That's pretty accurate. What about it is a beating? I'm not upset that I'm... Just being out of the normal life Like you wouldn't rather sleep in your own bed And then be able to touch your own wife

Like you love Outside of that part This is pretty sweet Yeah, no That's what I'm saying though Otherwise It's kind of a beating It's just

Things are a little off. I get it for you. I don't like not being in control of myself at all times, and I am at the whim of when someone else wants to drive somewhere or when you guys want to leave. Not that I'm all, you know what I mean. I do, but I have not gotten to that stage yet that I'm all, you know what I mean. I do, but I have not gotten to that stage yet. I feel

great. At base, we drove to California, staying in an Airbnb and doing the show from the RV. Outside of that, it's been very good. But even the drive, it was fun, but it was a beating. If I took a three-hour flight, it would have been better. You got P-Hub out here?

Again, though, it's fun. I'm trying not to... I'm not being negative at all. I am actually having a way better time than I anticipated. You know when we'd have a better time? Hot tub. You got in the hot tub? Oh.

Rob did that this morning. That was an interesting play. We have a hot tub? Yeah. Oh. I was in there for like an hour and 20 minutes. I haven't been in the backyard. It's quite nice. We're going to make s'mores next week. They left us a s'mores kit. Dude, that place has everything.

I've always wanted to come out here with my family just to show them all. I've been going here for many years to talk about this and that. That'd be kind of a cool little trip out. I would stay in this and that. And that'd be kind of a cool little trip out. And I would stay in this particular Airbnb. It's phenomenal.

It's great. It's a great neighborhood. I'm sorry about the couch, but the next three nights, I told Blake today I would wash the sheets so he can get in Papa's bed. I'm going to stay in there. There's two beds in there. Yeah, but the other one is like a twin. Tiny. So if you want, I assume that's what it is.

It's got to be better than the... Are you in the solo bed or is Rob, or excuse me, you and Rob have the solo one is like a twin. Tiny. So if you want, I assume that's what it is. It's got to be better than the... Are you in the solo bed or is Rob, or excuse me, you and Rob have the solo beds? Yes. Okay. So yeah, it's the same thing in Matt's bedroom. There's a tiny bed next to it. Yeah, but bigger than the couch. But I got to wash it because I've been...

No, not what you're thinking. I've been snacking hard, boys. In bed? Yeah, like just watching Hard Knocks, watching Game of Thrones. Last night I was watching some stand-up and I had, I crushed an entire thing of hummus in like a whole bag of peanut chips and then it was time to go to sleep and I'm like,

man, I'm itching. I'm like, oh, it's all the cheese dust. Gross, man. I'm not sleeping in that. All of these peanut chips that are clearly just coating the sheets now. Alright, I got a question about some house activities because I'm a big dishwasher. Yeah, that's interesting.

I do a lot of that stuff. I like it. We have a dishwasher. I know, but I also like, I just like. My mom's like that. I think it's because she grew up that way. The soothing, I don't know. It's just like a routine.

I like to wash the dishes. By hand. Why are there baby bottles in the sink? I thought the first day, oh, somebody must have left this here from the last visit. And then the second day, there's like two more baby bottles in the sink. Somebody is using baby bottles. I didn't bring a shaker. And it's the only thing that we have that you can put a top on.

So I'll put like liquid IV, athletic greens, and like some pre-workout in there. And then you just put your finger over the top of it and you can actually shake it well. Why do you have a baby bottle? You don't have to drink out of the nipple. I don't. I take it off. Oh, okay. You're using a baby bottle which was in the house.

It's not a bottle. It's like a tumbler. But yes. It's a toddler. Yeah, yeah. Not a baby. Spill proof. No, I didn't bring it.

I didn't bring my thing. And, you know, stuff clumps up. So it worked out. Mystery solved. Weekend preview. Might go visit our buddy Crypto Nick Black. Definitely going to the Rams game. The Cowboys game, I should say.

Yeah. I probably shouldn't taint the jury pool, but if there's odds on you not going to go visit Crypto Man, I would like to take the one, decide that it's not. Well, you're the one who told me this morning, dude, you shouldn't do that. If I were you, I would just... Because it's at least an hour, 45-minute drive, right?

It's an hour drive. You're moving the line. That's not fair. I know. That's what I'm saying. But you were this morning imploring me not to where, you know, everybody else kind of seemed on board except one, and I'll tell you about that in a second.

Because you're going to have a long-ass day Sunday, dude. Right. You guys will be out there at tailgates and getting audio and find that guy with the luchador mask that was here yesterday. And it's going to be a long day. Are there going to be tailgates at a preseason game one? 1000%. You think?

Yes. We need to get there early. You need to walk the stadium. Yeah. SoFi is awesome. I'd rather get there early and leave early. That's fine. Do we need to be there at the final snap of this game

to see Zeke snap it to whatever? Is that how they end every game now? I think so, yeah. Like I said, it's like the Landry Shuffle. Can we at least stay until they take Trey Lance out? Of course. I'd like to see some Trey Lance. I wonder who gets the QB1 runs.

I bet Trey Lance does. Probably. They're trying to give him every look they can. Dear God. By all accounts, that's not going well. We can talk about that whenever you want. Bad news. Waymo not in Englewood.

So we'll have to go into L.A. to take a Waymo. Okay. I think they caught him at a hotel. Who? Wingrove. God. We're doing some comedy that I don't get? He's recycling yesterday's joke.

It crushed yesterday, so. Did you look at the comments? One comment. I got an email that says, Dear Uncle Hotmail, just know this, if you decide to take a Waymo driverless car ride, while you are oohing and aahing over this amazing revolutionary technology,

know that there is some dude who looks like Monty eating a bag of Cheetos, drinking a Diet Coke, who is monitoring your so-called autonomous vehicle from a command center, and if and when the car fails to behave like it's supposed to, he takes it over using a joystick and drives it to your intended destination. This technology is nowhere near ready to be deployed at scale, but they want young, uninformed people to talk it up on social media and say how awesome it is so they can continue to get massive government funding for their pet project from Jeff and River Oaks. Work for Tesla.

Really? Yeah. I mean, the federal government, I don't know the numbers specifically, but have financed basically all of Elon's joyrides. SpaceX gets money from NASA, I think. That's what you want to do. And then you're like, hey, self-made. Well, my point on this, I was just thinking, even if it's a guy using a joystick, that's pretty impressive to me.

If you could just be sitting somewhere, there's still no driver in the car and it's going to get me A to B. Very impressive. Also, this sounds like a very smart person that emailed you, but do they know about how war works now? With a joystick, right? Yeah. A guy in Kansas is in a

bunker and he probably does have Cheetos and a Diet Coke. Or a Monster. And he's just deleting villages at his uh your stand-up guy do you know what i'm what i'm thinking of the yeah it's a somebody was talking about the second amendment it might have been nick or neil brennan but like the the whole idea behind the second amendment is initially it's nothing like the bastardized version of the way we think of it now. It's the idea that you would want to protect yourself from the incursions of your own government, right?

Like, hey, they'll never be stronger with the people. So people are like, hey, I've got to have my gun in case the government comes for me. Whereas, like, they could vaporize your neighborhood from space with like a control alt option delete. But yeah, he had it like people versus the government year three. All right, line up this guy. He's got an AK-47M16 on this side. Here's the U.S. government with a drone. It's just one guy.

No, it was like 100 guys with AKs. It was just two. Versus two guys at a command center. Yeah. And they go live down to the field. Yes. Yeah. And they're interviewing the guys beforehand, and then they interview a command center. Yeah. And they go live down to the field. Yes. Yeah. And they're interviewing the guys beforehand, and then they interview the command center guys.

They're like, yeah, this is ridiculous. You know what's crazy? This is going to be over in two seconds, and it was. Not to be like a political guy here, but the craziest part about it is the people that are the most fired up about the Second Amendment tend to also be the same people who are really fired up about dumping money into the defense budget. So it's like, well, you're kind of gassing up your enemy.

Yeah, you're hurting yourself. Yeah, I mean, that's what we spend most of the money on. But you're going to Disneyland. Disneyland. We're going to the football game. And Saturday, I was kind of polling the guys. You want to go to Crypto Nick Black's place?

See what Crypto built and whatever. Go to the beach. Relax. I mean, Matt, why are you trying now to just tell us what to do as well? I'm looking out for you because I know who you are. Well, I think you shouldn't go to visit your family. You should have said that earlier.

Oh, no. I don't care. I want everybody to just be what they want to be and do what they want to do. But I was asking Rob. Like, Matt, he's on board with whatever. Matt Grimm. Matt Grimm is our driver. Excellent breakfast. On this trip.

Matt, Jake, Blake breakfast this morning. Dude, he might be one of the greatest people I've ever met. That's pretty sweet. He's in there trading stocks all day. Is that what he's doing? Yeah. I was thinking next year, if this thing really takes off, I want to do this exact same thing to have him back. I want him to drive. Even if we can afford a plane, I don't want to do it.

Right. He's great. Or if we do fly, he's coming with us. I like that. Yeah, that's a good point. Now we're perked up. No, but we need a guy to do the meal preps. Yeah, no, my chicken thighs and ground turkey have been quite nice. I can't believe how well he seasons the salmon. But Rob said he's out for tomorrow for sure.

Skydive? Do you have a mic? Rob is our chief engineer. Can we just call you that? I don't know what to call you. He's Video Man. Video Man seems demeaning. Do a little bit of everything.

But why? I just want to see if Jake is surprised. Because when Rob told me why he might not go with us, I was not surprised at all. Hit me. I have booked, well, I've booked two tours. One is full, and I'm on a waiting list. Hopefully I get on this one.

It's a Channel Islands kayaking tour. That's awesome. I heard about that. It's five hours on a kayak. I would love to do that. Problem is, the ferry tickets are sold out, so I'm waiting for a ferry slot. I looked at the ferry tickets as well. I'm all sold out! Oh, we're live streaming today.

It's a different ferry. Can't dump that. But if that's a no-go, I've booked back up a harbor kayak tour up in Santa Barbara. I've done that. Where the sea otters are and stuff. No, wait, I did the one in Ventura.

Oh, okay. So, you whenever we're we're coming home and there's before we go left around that bend yeah you can see the harbor there there's a restaurant there i went and did a two-hour kayaking out there and it was awesome yeah last time we were here so 10 o'clock and then i go have lunch and drink some brewery beer that'll'll be my Saturday. Like, are you really surprised? No, not at all. If I were here, I'd be going with it. But we've been going a million miles an hour, been doing the show, prepping that. Trying to get the players. We've been very, very busy from the second we left, you know, Sunday morning.

And I thought, your advice to me is, dude, just chill. Stay at home. That's pretty cool, though. You don't have to drive. That's relaxing, though. I'm telling you. Is it? Yeah.

No way. But Rob is just so on the go because he's going to bed later than anyone and he's getting up earlier than anyone, maybe with the exception of you. No, I wake up to Rob every morning. Jake and I are up at the same time. You guys both see each other when you get up? Yeah, we have a moment. He rolls over and I roll over.

You need a towel, bud? But it just seems like no one's for as hard as I think I'm going for myself. No one's going harder than Rob. He's driving out here two hours before we're doing it, setting up all the equipment, resetting it up if he didn't think it was perfect yesterday.

And it's insane. There's been times where I thought that I was too much, biggest fault of a perfectionist. But there's nobody here today, unlike yesterday. And I'm like, Rob, you do not have to leave that early. He's like, just in case. I'm like, I guess, man. Hey, it worked out great. My parking lot friend, who I gave a t-shirt to yesterday, when I pulled in, he's waving

at me. He's pointing me right to my spot. Oh, so you like this spot. Now this is now our spot. This is the spot. Okay. He's putting us here every day. Yeah.

So we're good to go. Excellent. And there was a line when I pulled up. There was a pretty good line at 8 o'clock. There actually was a line of people waiting to get in. There's just not that many people. Yeah. We need a spot. Oh, we want get in. There's just not that many people. We need a spot. Oh, we want to throw McCarthy up or what?

Oh, yeah. Oh, Mike McCarthy is doing a press conference. And although yesterday's pre-game press conference sucked, we thought sucked. Maybe we'll try and pull it up here and just see what he's got and if he's got nothing. He's probably got nothing. I want to say one more thing. By the way, he is in camp shape.

It's been every year now. He kind of looks good? Yeah. Okay, I didn't get close to him. I was really close. And now we all know what happens around the Thanksgiving game, which is like to a lot of people. Yeah.

But right now he looks good. Him and Zeke, best shape of their lives. Excellent. Well, no one good. Him and Zeke, best shape of their lives. Excellent. Well, no one's saying that about Zeke. No. From what I hear, like yesterday even during the game, he looked exhausted. He was definitely exhausted. He fumbled.

He is skinnier. Dude, the fumble. Do you want me to get into that? Yes. Okay, so I went down to the field in the VIP area, which you can get into with media. I brought someone with me who I would call my producer. And so we were really close to the field. I mean, you're feet away, which was cool because it was the Rams and the Cowboys doing full 11 on 11.

It wasn't just like you're watching one on ones or drills. And I was stunned because I've never really been down there on that side during practice. I've always been back where the media are. There are, I don't know, probably a dozen, maybe 15 guys in the crowd within earshot of me. So there were probably many more throughout the whole stands and they yell like they're at a Peewee football game or a junior high football game. Or I suppose people do this in high school too. And maybe it makes more sense out here because you can definitely hear it as opposed to in high school. You know, I'd look up and my mom would be screaming and I'm like, I can't hear you.

Like I'm on the field. But they will yell at them like, got to have two hands on that thing, Zeke. Two hands. So they're yelling advice. Take a lap. Take a lap. I swear to God, there was a guy yelling, take a lap. And they will yell at anybody.

You know, there was a couple drops, and they'll yell at them. They're like, push-ups. Push-ups. Push-ups. Watch the ball all the way in. Jake Ferguson jumped off sides. I heard a, no, the snap count, Ferguson. I'm like, dude, this is real?

What if that guy didn't say that, and then he jumps off sides like in a big game in week 10? Right, and that guy's like, what could have been? Right, but since he did yell that, that might kind of get embedded in there somewhere. It's extremely weird. Jake Ferguson will hold his water. And I will tell you, it wasn't just Cowboys fans

because there were a ton of Rams fans here yesterday, a ton. And they were pretty vocal too. Now, the weirdest thing that's happening out here right now, much to Dan's delight, is Trey Lance sucks so bad, but the fan base loves him. Or a certain sect of the fan base. Usually it's the backup quarterback who's the most famous guy in town. In this case, we have a guy who finished second in the MVP voting last year, and the third string quarterback who has never shown a thing is like the most popular guy in the stands because when they put him in with the twos

three or four people i heard yelling things like it's tray time tray time and a guy was like that's the future and he was like elbowing his son he's like this is the future right here and then he just he's terrible dude like he can't compete like a basic quick flat route. I guess he can run, but in practice they don't really let the quarterback just straight take off too much. So if Dak has a lane, he'll almost always end up throwing it rather than tucking it. But, dude, he sucks. I'm sorry.

It's not going to get better. And he's about to be up for a contract. But because he's like a physical freak and somehow people have decided Dak sucks, possibly including his own owner, Trey Lance is very, very popular because Cooper Rush is boring until they get Trey Lance and they're like, okay, Trey time. I read an article this morning about the whole contract situation and the guy was alleging that the Cowboys might actually right now, because of what they've put themselves into now, they might be better off just letting Dak play out the year

because now you've killed the dead money for the future and you've opened that up to be able to sign the other guys. But the only problem with that is if Dak is perturbed enough that you allowed him to do that, to go ahead and let's just see what I can get as a free agent. Yeah. Because that might go $60 million a year all guaranteed by some team. Well, I don't think the $60 million a year is in question at all. The percentage of guarantee we'll have to see.

But, yeah, I mean. The same article was just talking about all three of the big contracts that we're looking at now. CD, obviously, we'll talk a little bit about that. But the whole Micah thing is, even though it's just his fourth year, they can give him an extension now. They've already locked it up for the fifth year. Well, I mean, yeah. I know that because they did

it with Zeke. But like, you actually, in theory, this author didn't write that, but I was thinking it afterwards, you might want to get him done now because if you keep waiting and you wait

two years for him, what's his price tag going to be? 30% more. So why not get Micah done now? You've already found yourself in this situation with these other guys. The CD situation to me is interesting, if we want to slide into that, just because obviously that was the big news coming out of after the game yesterday. Yeah, nobody was really even talking about the reps against the Rams. Was Jerry Jones said he's, what was it?

Oh, he just said no. He was asked, do you have a sense of urgency to get the C.D. Lamb contract done? Yeah. He said no. Then he went on to just ramble a bit, but it was basically just no. But wasn't the context, is there any urgency to get him done during the preseason? Wasn't it taken a little out of context?

A little bit, yes. You still don't just say, I don't have any urgency to get it done. Well, what's interesting is that I was interested in this. So, Dak, apparently he had a press conference after the thing, like at the podium type thing. Yeah. No one asked him about that. I know. I watched it.

Which is shocking. That should almost be question one. And, you know, if there's only someone in the media that would go and have access to these things, they could go ask a question. Oh, wait. I guess I could have. But I didn't know what Jerry had said. Honestly, just as a sidebar, I feel like if we went and started asking questions that were actually questions like that,

that might stir things up a little bit, I believe it would have an overall negative impact on our show. Because I think right now we just need them to be like, these guys are fine, they're cool, and not really ask us what we're doing. Yeah, we're trying to fly under the radar. Trying to fly under the radar as much as we can here. But I didn't know what Jerry had said. I imagine all the beat writers did.

Yeah, because there's no video of it. It's not on DallasCowboys.com. It was the walk-off. It was an impromptu. It wasn't at the podium. Are you talking about Jerry? Yeah, Jerry's part. Dak was a scheduled thing. But then, did he know? Yeah, I don't know. During the walk-off, Dak, so what these

people do, they go have a press conference. There's public questions asked. And you know that you have to say your name and your affiliation. That's a TAD rule. That would be the reason for you to go ask a question. Just so I could...

Dan McDowell, Dumb Zone. Yeah. Dak. I'm Dan McDowell of the Dumb Zone. A subsidiary of No Puppet Productions. That's right. No, but so they'll do a press conference. Which ends up on the website.

But then when they walk off the podium and start just slowly walking away to their room or wherever they're headed to next, all the beat writers will go walk right near them. It's really weird. Another little mini moving press conference. Yes. To where apparently you can get new other info there. And it's just maddening. So Dak, since nobody asked him about it, says,

Hey, I'm surprised you didn't bring this up, but I have a sense of urgency for CD to get here. Yeah. So he scolded the media for not asking me this question, and no one asked him the question in his walk-off either. CD Lamb, of course, led the league last year with 135 catches. Damn. Yeah.

I was just looking at that again this morning like, I didn't realize it was that many. Well, the coolest thing if you pull up his list, I know you're going to go through him, his list of seasons, every single number has gone up. Every year? Every year. So catches, yardage, touchdowns.

Touchdowns, long catch. I'm pretty sure yak. Finger sniffs. Finger sniffs, yes. He was an all pro last year. He's, you know, PFF ranked him I think four. Might have been Tyreek, Jet, and Jamar maybe. But he's, you know, he's legit.

And I'm not saying that last year after his third season where he broke out a little bit he would have taken a discount, but I can promise you it would have been cheaper than it is now. Oh, yeah. So that's what you do. Because they waited for everybody else to sign. They could have done Dak. He could probably be 30 a year.

Now it's going to be like 34, 35. Yes. Yeah. And if they had done those things prior, they would be in a situation now where it wouldn't be a problem to try to do Dak. Yeah. That's the tough thing about it. I mean, I would still take the chalk, honestly, that two years from now,

all three of these guys are still Cowboys. But my point is, if you pretty much know that's what you want and that's how it's going to play out anyways, why would you pick the worst path to get there? Right, and it just hurts the rest of your roster. Sure. Because there is an actual pie. Yeah.

And you could spend more on that if you weren't. But, you know, we never really talked about this, but there's a guy who used to do, I think he was blogging the boys for a while, but you know Joey Iks, I-C-K-E-S? I've seen his name. I think that's how you say his name. He's a great Cowboys follow. He did a deal this summer, or maybe it was back in spring, breaking down

the difference between being at or over the cap and cash spending. Because the salary cap, really, you can manipulate it. But you may be out of pocket more money from cash on hand at the time and not exactly know if that's going to provide a return. And for the last 10 years, the Cowboys are one of the five cheapest teams in cash spending. I think I saw that. They're the most profitable entity in the whole world. But they're also business owners.

And to them, as he put it, you know, they'd rather throw 30x or x million dollars at a new oil site that will provide them almost guaranteed return than they would part with cash on hand for players. So, I don't know. I mean, but it's a complete opposite approach of a team like Philadelphia. I mean, I've said this. If you ever want to just laugh, go look at Philadelphia's cap sheet and look at the cap hits of Jalen Hurts, A.J. Brown, Saquon now. They're nothing. Lane Johnson, tiny.

It's like Jalen Hurts is like 2% of their cap this season. Dak's like 20. 25. Yeah. They've not done a great job. They got Hurts done a little early, right? They did. They got those guys done a little early.

They're very lucky. Even though they had done that with Wentz and it blew up in their face. Process, not results. Yes. That's the thing. The Cowboys do not live like that. They live like, oh, if this didn't work, then I'm going to do it the opposite the next way.

And Jerry, in his opening camp press conference, stated the inconsistency in the way they do things like this is their consistency. And you have to hand it to them. That's very... He's right. Pointing at heads. Yeah.

Like, oh, you say we do something different every year and we don't really have a plan? Well, that's got to be where I am. That's where we are. Like, do you have a $5 billion franchise? I don't think you do. I guess this is working. What do you think about something Jerry has said in the past,

or at least in his way, intimated that they are happy, not happy, but they're comfortable waiting because CD's backups can get more opportunities now to show what they can do. I love that. He is shielded from a potential injury by not being at camp. Yep.

No, I love that. That's very backwards engineering logic. I love it. They both care about the team so much. Anyway, you know what we never said here, if everybody knows this? When Jerry said no to the a bit out of context do you have urgency to get him in camp? He said no.

That was tweeted right away by John Machoda and within seconds Yeah. C.D. Lamb himself quote tweeted it with an LOL. No, it's great.

And then within seconds, everybody picks that up, and it's a huge thing, and it's all over the Internet, and things are happening, and pet's heads are falling off. And as we look at the dominoes all falling, preseason game one tickets at the worst seat in the house are $50 each. And who cares about the Chargers, who are a local team? Nobody's caring about that. No one's paying $6 for the best seat.

Yeah. It's wild. And this is how things, this is the team you follow. This is the team you love. Did you see the other controversy with CD? No. Well, boys, he removed America's team from his Twitter bio. Safe to say he's gone.

Well, here's the thing about CD and being gone. Why didn't you warn me? The Cowboys actually, they have some leverage in that CD can't, if he sits out a year. He just doesn't get paid. He doesn't get paid and he doesn't accrue the fifth year and they still own him. Like they can just say.

I didn't even think about that, yeah. The way that CBA is, you know, you can. Now, they don't have to. They can rescind their fines because this is his first contract because that's another thing in the CBA. The second ones are, yeah, if you're holding out for your third contract, they can't remove it, which I think is what happened to Zach Martin. They have to do – they mandatory fine you,

and they cannot at the end of the negotiation say, ah, don't worry about that. Yeah, what they can do, though, is is just put a 500 grand more on your contract and it's all the same but it would be under the cap then that's true whereas a fine would not yeah um but yes so this is maybe a uh i'm sure some players done this in the past or at least threatened to do it that you know i'll sit out and then i'll be afraid you can't so now the cowboys would have to say we're fine not having 135 catches 1700 yards 12 touchdowns we somehow can replace that which cd knows they cannot now let's look back at uh zeke's uh holdouts where

he's like look i just rushed for yards. You certainly can't replace that. They thought they couldn't either. Yeah, no, that's a good point. McCarthy's up now. You want to take a look? Let's just see if he's got anything. Oh, man. They get to go out in OTAs, especially the way things are structured now,

the seven-on-sevens. This video of him is deceiving. He looks very big. You have some success, and then you get into deceiving. He looks very big. I would love one of those shirts, though. I want a long sleeve. With a collar? No, not the collar. I just need a long sleeve to protect myself against this hot, hot sun.

They look lightweight. Honestly, I have a buddy who, when we go swimming, he's fairly fair-skinned, and he wears a long-sleeve fishing-type shirt. And after the first time you see it, you don't even want to make fun of him. You're like, oh. Is it like a wetsuit look? Kind of. I suck.

What you see from the Rams, do you look at things that's like, maybe these are some things that you might want to – concepts you might want to take or something like that? I feel like this is yesterday's. You just kind of view it as one side versus the other. Yeah, I mean, this isn't really for – This is yesterday's. Yeah, I don't view this practice as that.

This is yesterday's. Whatever. Who cares? It's Friday. I wonder, did Saad just ask the exact same question he asked yesterday? I don't think so. Okay. Because maybe it's a better follow-up question, but no.

Yeah, beforehand would be tough, but. Yeah. No, I do think he looks thinner. You're just going to have to get up close and personal to provide your assessment. Okay, I'll see if I can get my arms around him. I want to ride him. I'll bet a lot of people do. I want to hop up on his back and have him run me around the field like it's family day,

which it was yesterday. Well, if it is, then he's answering the exact same question he was asked yesterday in the exact same way, which is possible. Yeah. Everything's a simulation. Don't you just want to hop up on his back? I'll bet Jerry does. Like I saw all those kids out there playing around with NFL players yesterday,

and I'm like, man, that'd be so cool. Like what's the game that Logan Roy made him play? Pigs on the floor? Oh, yeah, yeah. You think Jerry's ever made him do stuff like that? Boar on the floor? Boar on the floor. Possibly.

I don't know if Jerry's ever made McCarthy do that, but I know Jerry's been involved in something very similar to that. Very Illuminati, lightly gay. Like, Jerry has definitely just, with his money, paid people to do weird stuff. That's not even a – there's 100%. 100%. I even saw a thread on Twitter last night of some lady who used to work at a bar

or maybe hung out at a bar in Plano, like Frisco area, and she was tweeting last night about how it was not uncommon for Jerry to just try to force his tongue down someone oh yeah when he was at the bar and it's just like well it's jerry being jerry that's jerry he really has good understanding i mean we think this is today's two guys that love and respect them and and cooper and deck i mean they they pour it out to they pour it out to them so it's just really it's really cool when your room operates at that at that level. So just like anything, you want to see one of your guys go have some success

because he's definitely put the work in. Not what I saw yesterday. He said that yesterday? No, I said he was talking about Trey Lance. They're further ahead today than they were this time last year. As the running back group continues to kind of shape up, how do you see Rico Dattel? Yeah, I would say the running game is a little further ahead.

If I said running backs, I meant the run game. But, yeah, our running back room is a year older, you know, frankly, more experience. Can be good, can be bad. Rico is kind of picked up right where he left off. You know, he runs so damn hard you know i like his his run style you know the violence that he he goes after all right he's got yeah i don't care about he's got nothing i'm glad you said it let's uh move on um did you guys see the

rangers were honored at the white house yesterday and i thought you'd like to hear a little of this. I always find it funny when it's baseball and hockey because when it's a Democrat, right, because you know if you're pulling the stars, maybe not the stars, but definitely the Rangers, because I don't know how the European thing shakes out as far as their view of American hockey or even Canadian. But when it's baseball players, you know that there's a guy on the Rangers

who went to the gas pump and saw a picture of Joe Biden and it said, I did this, and he was like, fuck yeah. I love that. I wish I would have come up with that, you know? So you think baseball is not as on board with the Democrat? Well, I think that, you know, as evidenced by the fact that two days after the assassination attempt on Trump, they had turned it into a Democrat. Well, I think that as evidenced by the fact that two days after the assassination attempt on Trump, they had turned

it into a celebration. Baseball players all over America holding their ear with their fist up. I imagine that there are at least a handful of Rangers who were there at the White House yesterday who have yelled, let's go, Brandon.

Have you seen those celebrations? We played one of them, I thought. We at least talked about it. Was Bryce Harper one of them? No. No, he was doing a different thing. But it was his team, I believe. Yeah, I don't remember who it was.

He just hit a double, looked at the dugout. Fight. Fight. Yeah. Yeah. I do the Biden. I just kind of look around It's really funny

Anyways let me play you a few It's really funny Let me play you just like the first few minutes Because Biden is doing a stand up set Of course And okay well The President of the United States Accompanied by Texas Rangers Executive Vice President

and General Manager Chris Young. Is there an actual band? Because this sounds kind of cheesy. It's a band. There's a live band there. Yeah, because they play... Every time he walks out and does anything? No, for this.

For these performative things? Yeah. It's taking a little longer to get there than they thought. They have to do a little extra. Well, good afternoon. Hey, old Joe. Good to hear from you. And welcome to the 2023 World Champions. He has another name. I want to make it very clear.

I saw him and I immediately made friends with him. Why is that funny? Ghost work. That's what I want to know. Why is that funny? Yeah tour. That's what I want to know. Why is that funny? Yeah. Okay. But certainly he has.

Wait, you didn't have him executed? Do you feel like he's got his own people in the crowd because, like, who's yelling, we love you, Joe? That's no one with the Rangers. Absolutely not. No. I saw him and I immediately made friends with him. Yeah, that's really ghost tour.

Immediately made friends with him. Look, you know, to the team owners and executives. God, he's not gotten any better. These incredible players standing behind me. And to all the supporters and families. Thank you for coming up. Thank you for being here. I really mean it.

Please, have a seat. If you have one. Oh, God love you. It's worth the entire Metroplex. You're used to winning championships. No, not really. Not really, man. This has been quite the drought. I want the record to show I've got a little bit of an ability to say nice things

because I married a Philly girl. What does that mean? I don't know, but I just... Again, he's doing a stand-up set. I don't think he knows what he said either. If he pauses, then I think people will know. Maybe there's the applause sign.

An ability to say nice things because I married a Philly girl. Not funny. No, also, like, anyway. Anyway is never good in a stand-up set. Yeah. Also, like, you know, that storied rivalry between the Rangers and Phillies. Oh, my gosh.

It's literally just the Eagles. Anyway, Philly fans are tough. And if I didn't root for the Phillies, I my gosh. It's literally just the Eagles. Anyway, Philly fans are tough. And if I didn't root for the Phillies, I'd be sleeping alone. Don't bullshit me. You haven't slept in the same bed as your wife in 25 years. I would hope not. Or

don't you think the presidential bed has to be giant? Like Shaq's bed from Cribs? Like they have a... I haven't seen that. It's huge, dude. And the thing is, the lady he was married to was like 5'3". No, not only was it

bigger than California King, it was like a circle. Oh, wow. Dude, it was the size of the RV. Okay, I need to see that. It's great. But no, he's not... I mean, as established, I love my wife, but if I'm still sleeping in the same bed with her past like 60, then he's not. I mean, as established, I love my wife, but if I'm still sleeping in the same bed with her past like 60,

then that's not good. If I didn't root for the Phillies, I'd be sleeping alone. She understands that's part of the job. Anyway, from football to basketball to hockey to soccer, many doubters wondered if baseball would ever join them. Well, to paraphrase Corey Seeger, I guess we do know. No. No.

Okay, so I guess he's saying what? So football won a title, basketball, hockey, soccer. Did the burn win? I don't know. Maybe. The sidekicks? What did Re know. Maybe. The sidekicks? What did Reiner used to? The sidekicks were dominant.

Yeah, that was a fun. Like in 1984 or something? And you know what's weird about that is when he bungled the phrase, ironic right there, he leaned into we do know. So he clearly knows the thing, but he flipped it for no reason? He's being told all of these things. He didn't write any of this. Many doubters wondered if baseball would ever join them.

To paraphrase Corey Seeger, I guess we do know. And also, that's not what paraphrase means. Paraphrase means you take the phrase and make it shorter. He just said the same thing and just made one of the words opposite. You old fool. I guess we do know. Oh, my God. The American League West was as tough as it's ever been.

That can't be true. The Bears won like 115 games in the, like, 15 years ago. Yeah, that's not true. The American League West was as tough as it's ever been. That can't be true. The Bears won like 115 games in the, like, 15 years ago. Yeah, that's not true. American League West was as tough as it's ever been. The division races decided on the last day. Although you may not have clinched the division, you certainly got the last word in. After sweeping Tampa Bay and Baltimore.

By the way, it's not Baltimore. My dad's from Baltimore. It's Ballmer. Okay? All right, so it's funny, too, because Trump will go off the card, but then he actually has, like, good bits. Sure. Whether they're funny or whether you believe in them, whatever,

it's, you know, when he realizes, hey, wait, this word is triggering something in my head. I'm going to go off and do my windmill set now. Yeah. Or I'm going to do my electricity dialing set. Sharks. He's like, he saw a word that triggered his. But he's got much less of a.

Basically zero. After sweeping Tampa Bay and Baltimore. By the way, it's not Baltimore. My dad's from Baltimore. It's Balmer. You got your revenge on the Houston Astros. And then you beat Arizona. Become World Series champions.

You set some records along the way. Your standout pitcher, Nathan, where are you, Nathan? There's no way you know his last name. So that's going to be a theme here. He doesn't know the last names of anyone, but I think they wrote it to make it seem like he knows them so well that he only uses their first name. Right.

Your standout pitcher, Nathan, where are you, Nathan? Nathan, where are you, big man? First name. Right. Your standout pitcher, Nathan. Where are you, Nathan? Nathan, where are you, big man? By the way, I don't know who the hell Nathan's haberdasher is.

I like his dress, man. I'll tell you. Looking good, Nathan. Major League record with five wins in a single postseason. Garcia, another Major League record. Can I stop that real quick also? Doesn't know his name. I've heard that word.

Haberdashery? I don't think that's a common. That is so him telling the story about Corn Pop and the chain in the 50s when he had to defend himself. Does the word haberdashery, is it a 50s? Is it just like clothier? Okay, yeah. Like, what are you going to be like, how would you pay for those, in rupees?

Train some mer? By the way, I don't know who the hell made this haberdasher. I like his dress, man, I'll tell you. Haberdashers? I'm a cool cat, man. I like that. I like a haberdasher, man.

Looking good, Nathan. Looking good. Why is he like mor. I like a happy desert, man. Looking good, Nathan. Looking good. Why is he like morphing into a southern black guy? Hey, looking good, brother. Looking good. Hey, man. Major League record with five wins in a single postseason. Garcia, another Major League record.

Doesn't know his first name or just looked at it and said, I'm not going to. I'm not doing that one. I can definitely pronounce the second part. Most RBIs in a single season. It's RBI. And then he said season. My job, I'm always

looking for runs bad in the end. What? What did he say? No one really even get... He didn't even get a courtesy laugh on that because no one knew what the hell he was saying. I don't think he knows what he said either. In my job, I'm always looking for runs batted in.

Want to break it down? In my job, I'm also looking for runs batted in. Always looking for runs batted in. It just means like positive outcomes? Successes? Like successes? Like policy passing? Do it again. No.

My job, I'm always looking for runs batted in. You know? Oh, my God, dude. I have never heard someone bomb this hard in my life. How did we bring this guy out here for as long as we did? My job, I'm looking for runs batted in. And your manager, Bruce, earned four World Series as a coach. Again, no last name.

He's just taking the easier name. Also, he's called a manager. What did you tell him, Joe? I told him he's going to need another finger. Or else he's got to put the fifth ring on his thumb. Oh, no. Dude. Holy hell.

Or else he got to put the fifth ring on his thumb. I mean, I don't know how you do that, man. Hey, man. I don't know how you do that, man. I told him. Please don't. I told him he's going to need another finger. Or else he's got to put the fifth ring on.

See? Hold on. They thought, okay, he's not funny. He's not told a funny joke yet, but I know when to laugh because he stops. Yeah. So they think he's done with the joke in the middle here, and then he just plows through because he's like, I'm not done with the joke. You're going to really laugh at the thumb thing.

I told him. Listen right here. I told him he's going to need another finger. They laugh. Or else he's got to put put the ring on his thumb. I mean, I don't know how you do that, man. They had already laughed. We're like, we already laughed at that joke.

Three seconds later, we're not laughing again. We're not. It's like. You didn't execute the beats. Do you say bless you if your wife sneezes? Since you love her so damn much. I guess sometimes. I do.

Yeah. And it's only because she will let me know much. I do. Yeah. And it's only because she will let me know if I don't. Yeah. And passive-aggressively, whatever. So I'll just like, yes, I don't care about it at all. If I sneeze, I don't need to hear it. Fine. Like, if you sneeze, I don't think I'll say it to you.

It doesn't matter. I would be very taken aback if you did. I don't think I'll say it to you. It doesn't matter. I would be very taken aback if you did. But, yes, if I've laughed already at a joke, so if she sneezes and I go, bless you, and she sneezes again right away, I've already done it. Yeah, it's kind of the laughter version of if you're in an office place. It could be anywhere, really, that has an elevator.

And you're like, all right, see you, man. Dap up. And then you end that has like an elevator. And you're like, alright, see you man. Dap up. And then you like end up walking in the same. I'm not going to do it again. So now I'm going to act like I don't know you for the next 20 seconds. Or else you got to put the fifth ring on his thumb.

I don't know how you do that, man. Anyway. As you know, over 50 years since this franchise left Washington, you're back in the nation's capital as world champions, and you deserve it. From fighting hard to make the postseason to finally winning the first ever title, I think there's a word y'all embody. Okay, what do you guys think? Also, hold on.

You don't say y'all. He doesn't say y'all. I think he does now because he's now talking to some Texans. What word? Grit. I was going to go grit. Grit? Okay.

For fighting hard to make the postseason to finally winning the first ever title, I think there's a word you all embody. Here we go. Resilience. That's just a longer word for grit. You're a hell of a resilient club, man. Man. He does love saying man.

Oh, yeah. That's his folksy. You're a hell of a resilient club, man. As you know, your GM, Chris, pulled out a pad of paper in San Diego. Again, he doesn't say Chris Young. You're a hell of a resilient club, man. And as you know, your GM, Chris, pulled out a pad of paper in San Diego and asked the Rangers staff if they believed you could win.

It's clear if they didn't answer right, they were going to get fired. But anyway. It's a good whole organization. And all of you answered yes, and you meant it. You never gave up. You never, never gave up. And you kept the faith. And like your favorite band, Creed. Okay. All right. So an intern, someone in public affairs. And like your favorite band, Creed. Hold on, pause it. What's he going to... So they never gave up. Like your favorite band, Creed.

What's he leading to here? You guys took it higher. And like your favorite band, Creed. You took each other higher. Yeah! Hit me up. Yeah! Hit me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew it.

All right, that's enough of that. Took each other high, man. So congrats to the Rangers for getting to go to the White House. All right, man. So congrats to the Rangers for getting to go to the White House. How were people seriously going to have to vote for that guy? Me included. Can we do a break, Rob?

Let's do a break. Oh, God. Give me a second. Oh, now we need a second. Now we got, oh, God, give me a second. Give me more Biden. He was on Facebook. He's back there thinking about kayaking. That's all he's doing.

Yeah. He's messaging. Hey, anybody coming to the kayak thing? Single? All right, let's hear this one more time. He never, never gave up. And he kept the faith. And like your favorite band, Creed,

you took each other higher and higher. We really did. But let me close with this. Along with being champions of the world, you're the first and foremost champions in your community. The support you give the community. I mean this sincerely. It matters. It matters a lot. Local schools

feeding and educating children. It matters. Cultural centers celebrating Latino history and Latino culture, which everybody ought to start learning more about. What? How do you tie that in? I mean, I'm on board with learning about. Well, like, parenthetic, do you know that 28 out of every high school student is Latino. What? What? Am I supposed to solve for X?

28 out of... Is this an equation? You're definitely missing one of the numbers or variables. That's awesome. Holy shit. That's great. Okay, here we go. The Dumb Zone.

You're listening to the dumb zone oh let me check check the steps today Today. Ooh, barely 1,000. What? 1,007. You better get on that grind, boy.

Don't pop it. Jake's just, oh, wait, 1,263. It hadn't updated. Maybe that's my bathroom walk there. What do you got today? Blake has set the camp record thus far for steps with 17,000. But Video Man pushed it. You never got it?

Yeah, Video Man walked to the beach. Okay, you're up. I got to 16,536. You gave up, huh? Yeah, I just gave up. I passed out. Jake probably beats this every day,

but he doesn't have something that'll track it. Jake likes to run in place. What does that mean? Well, you ran to the breakfast place. I run every day. And this morning I made sure I went to the backyard, did my workout in the grass so that it would be soft and quiet and Blake could get his slumber.

Ooh. Then the Apple thing. Huh? Did you miss your phone call? The Apple thing says, so far you're taking fewer steps than you normally do. Oh, no. My average is 2,800 by this time.

Like, this thing is yelling at me. This thing is up my ass about, like, this whole week has been bad. Yeah, the WHOOP recovery scores are a problem, too, because, like I said, I've been eating late at night, and I'm getting up on Texas time, but I'm not always going to sleep on Texas time. See, that's... And that's the problem.

I'm attempting to stay. But I'm like, you know, it's light. So it's like, all right, well, then I end up with a trash recovery score. And what's worse than that, folks? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I mean, I need your recovery score. Before we hop into the bulk of the things we just talked about,

my one Olympic thing for the day is... So the Americans came back and beat Serbia yesterdaybia yesterday yes they were down 15 in the third quarter and then it was king and chef curry time nice and there were some tweets like for example this guy who has uh this is a guy's got 29 000000 followers. He works in Denver, so he's a big Nuggets guy. And he tweeted, Serbia just took the most talented team in the history of the planet to the wire with a medal on the line. Team USA was a 16-point favorite.

The whole country should be proud. And he posted a picture of Jokic dunking. He's a Jokic guy. He's a Nuggets guy. Well, Kevin Durant noted online hater, be it burner count or his own account, at 5 a.m. Paris time, quote tweeted this with, where are you from? And then I saw this quote tweet I saw said, Kevin Durant waking up at 5am from one of the most

beautiful cities on earth to hate tweet a simply generational hater we've never seen anything like this and we never will again and KD continued to battle people he's great he wanted to go after

to all you Nuggets fans nobody gives a fuck who y'all lames believe is the best player in the league. Players got major respect for Yoke. We just don't worship him like y'all do, but we're in awe of his brilliance. Trolling y'all cornballs for rooting against us is a part of the game. Cornball. Don't hear that one that often. That's a term that you probably primarily hear in the black community.

Oh, really? Yeah. How are the ratings for Olympics? Like, are they pretty good? I have no idea. Just headline reading, it seems like everybody's pleased. Seems good. Like, better than the last Olympics.

So that's the bar. You know what it is. What's that? It's the D-O-double-G. Oh,'s the bar. You know what it is. What's that? It's the D-O-double-G. Oh, it could be. Because I'm a bit... For half a million a day, you better, right? Did I play that game with you, Dan?

I did, right? Did we do it on the show? It may not have been on the show. What was the game? I already gave it away for you, but I was having these guys, after I read an article about Snoop's deal at the Olympics, guess at how much they thought he was getting per day on top of all expenses and travel paid. And I believe everyone guessed between $20,000 and $30,000.

It's $500,000 a day. $500,000? A day. Just to be at the Olympics all day long every day. Go do equestrian and watch fencing with Martha Stewart. Yeah, they're giving it. So I did the math, and it's about $8 million. It's great.

Yeah. But I'm a bit of a creep on my walk. I'm interested in these houses, so I'll just take a peek inside. What are you all doing? Eating? Huddled around the couch? Every other TV is on Olympics. Yeah.

It's an older neighborhood, too, so that probably makes sense. Matt was stoked on it last night. I was watching it every night when I was at home. I watched a little bit yesterday. I would never turn it on at home. I do like that bit, though. I'm with him. When I go run around my neighborhood, when I used to do it in the evening,

love to see the – What are people watching? What do you think they're watching? What do you mean? Fox News. Oh, really? Is that what happens? Pretty much every house I run by, I'm like, hey, Tucker.

Hey, Jesse. My Olympic note is that the gold medal game is Saturday, and when Kobe played for the Lakers, he wore number eight. I thought we might be able to beat this rep. And you know he wore number 24. I thought we might be able to beat this rep. And you know he wore number 24. Okay, so it's August. Why did he switch to 24? Yeah, just...

Was he trying to... He just wanted to change. Move past the sexual assault in Colorado? I mean, you can't prove... Alleged. The whole thing was alleged. Anyway, and then he wore number 10 for the Olympic team. Tomorrow is 8-10-24.

Mm-hmm. So we need to beat who for Kobe? France. Who we got? Wimby. Okay. Kobe wore 10 because of Lionel Messi. I've never heard that before.

And I'm sure somebody else already had 8. Probably. Right? Because he would have just worn 8. Could he have? Unless he was on to 24 by then, and then, yeah. Anyway. Okay, let's get to Cowboys or Hard Knocks.

Which one do you want? Dealer's choice. They're both ready. Okay, let's do Hard Knocks? Which one do you want? Dealer's choice. They're both ready. Okay. Let's do Hard Knocks real quick then. Okay. So Hard Knocks this year, the Chicago Bears. I thought it was interesting too at the beginning.

They previewed the season. So obviously, I don't know the numbers, but the Giants offseason one was very interesting to me. I think all of us liked it. Yeah. It was better than some of the in-season ones they've done. Now they have off-season, but this year for in-season, it's the AFC North. So I guess because all teams are so close together,

they think they can film it well, so you're going to have, you know, your Baltimore, Cincy, Cleveland, Pittsburgh. I want to say that's interesting, but I don't know if it is interesting. But I guess they're trying something different. So, obviously the story is Caleb Williams, and the story has been Caleb Williams basically since people figured out that he's not your everyday average quarterback. Dating back to the loss to, I want to say, Utah,

where he ran into the crowd and was hugging his mom and was in tears and she was shielding him from the cameras. He's very different. In fact, he won one of Antonio Brown's awards recently. Did he? Which one? Was it one you can't say? Yep.

Of the day? It's not Cracker can't say? Yep. Of the day. It's not Cracker. The opposite of Cracker of the day? Yeah, the F word slur of the day. Okay. Because he had a purse. He does have a purse. Paints his nails.

Paints his nails, wears bracelets. But he doesn't have a four-year-old daughter who's doing it to him. Now, he's also a machine. I'm all in on Caleb Williams. Are you really? Yeah. Okay. I think he has a chance to be like Patrick Malmes.

Really? Okay. Looks small. Looks small in the camp. It just doesn't look like, I don't know. What I think of is. I guess they're listing him at 6'1". I bet Pat's not over 6'2", though.

I mean, you know, when I see him. Drew Brees-ish to me, and Drew Brees was pretty good. He was pretty good. Yeah. He's bigger than your Russell Wilson, guys like that. But anyways, I just think he's outstanding. It's a weird. It's just such a weird dynamic with this position

when you're bringing someone in from the get-go saying you are everything. You are what we're all revolving around now. You were in college last year. Which is not what happened with Mahomes. No. It did happen with Jameis. Remember? In fact, we were watching his rookie year. Yeah. Hard knocks. So it did happen with Jameis, remember?

In fact, we were watching his rookie year. Yeah. Hard knocks. I was talking to TC about this yesterday, though, a big Bears fan, and one thing that makes me feel better is Caleb Williams did throw 1,300 passes in college, whereas Trey Lance threw about 300. They do say that is an important indicator back to the Achilles Smith draft. Not 100%, but tends to be important, especially now with college offenses being very similar to NFL offenses.

But I've got to be honest, I haven't heard Caleb Williams talk that much, and I've definitely never heard him talk on the phone. So when the episode started, everybody knew that it was a foregone conclusion that they were taking him at 1-1. They made the moves to get there, blah, blah, blah. But you still have to go through the performance of making the call. Yeah, so they make the call. It's clear they've already told him.

But at first, I honestly, because they weren't showing the draft room when the audio started, I'm like, is he calling his son? Because Caleb Williams does not sound like an adult, and he dang sure does not sound like an NFL quarterback on the phone. Am I up? My guy. What's happening?

This is Coach Flus, man. I don't know who you are. That does not sound like. That right there is like. I don't know. Coach Flus? He's going Flus. Is that new with the new beard and the new hair? I know who you are. That does not sound like – that right there was like – I don't know. Coach Floose? Floose. He's going Floose.

Is that new with the new beard and the new hair? Probably. Going Floose, bro. I know who you are. I know who you are. Hey, this day is going to go down as an iconic day in Bears history, my friend. And we're going to turn this cycle on its head. You ready?

You got it, man. I'm so excited. And I'm super excited for you to realize your dream of being the first pick in the NFL draft. That's so cool. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. But I'm more excited about our football team starting this process and achieving our next goal. Yep.

And I'll see you tomorrow, brother. See you tomorrow. All right, this will fail. Doesn't seem that far. Look, I still believe in him, but I must admit that the piece of evidence I just entered into the court's consideration is not helping me. And not just that. It's just the whole, I don't know, man.

It just seems so mission accomplished banner. Those receivers, though. Just all this. Yeah, he's got some skill around him. Those receivers are Keenan Allen, DJ Moore, and Roma Dunze. Oh, okay. I mean, you got the vet, you got the rookie, you got the guy who you traded for in DJ Moore's.

I don't know. You're not going to get a better situation than that, I guess is what I'm saying. Yeah, it just seems just so, hey, this is. Cole Komet, good tight end. You'll be writing this down in the future. This is going to be the greatest day. Like, just wait.

Let's slow down. We're the Bears. That is true. They've never – they threw one thing out there that I didn't realize. They've never had a 4,000-yard passer. No, they have not. Wow. No.

And, yeah, TC did this yesterday. We were talking. He's like listening to it. They're like, you know, they've had a couple franchise quarterbacks in there. And I'm like, are you talking about Jim McMahon and Rex Grossman? Because neither one of those were franchise quarterbacks. Cutler? Cutler was pretty good.

Okay. And I would say Cutler's better than both those guys. But he was also traded. So you don't usually trade someone that you consider your franchise quarterback. traded so yeah you don't usually trade someone that you consider your franchise quarterback second clip was kind of interesting because uh some months ago we had uh my friend by proxy of he's my brother's friend ryan griffin who was a quarterback in the nfl for a long time he was a quarterback at two lane took over for my brother i would say pound for pound might have been in the most interesting collection of quarterback rooms of anyone ever between Drew Brees, Tom Brady,

and Jameis Winston. As a backup, like that's who his starters were. He went to go play in Italy with his brother who was playing over there. He told us about that, and he was like, I'm going to go one more time. Yeah, what stream is he on? What do you mean? Which stream? I can't – what game?

Maybe the Bucs. Okay. We only did like four of them last year. Yeah. So he's on one of our streams. Yeah. That makes sense. It would probably be the Bucs.

And he was telling us, yeah, I'm going to go over to Italy. My brother's playing there. They went 8-0. They lost in the playoffs. He was in Italy when we talked to him, wasn't he? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah.

So I was thinking about him because when Christy Scales was in here yesterday talking about – or maybe it was when – we might have been out on the field talking to her. because when Christy Scales was in here yesterday talking about, or maybe it was when we might have been out on the field talking to her. Remind me. But she was saying that she knew Eberflus. From way back. Because he was like a linebacker coach. No, a secondary coach here. Are you sure?

I thought that's what she said. Maybe. And she was just saying he's a great guy and blah, blah, blah, and she got to know him. Like, Ryan Griffin might end up being a head coach someday. It's very possible. What was Coach Flus' path? I just closed it, but I'll pull it back up here.

Obviously, we'll get to this, but he played at Toledo for Nick Saban. Toledo assistant coach. This is how it usually goes. Toledo assistant coach. This is how it usually goes. Toledo assistant coach. Toledo GA. Toledo outside linebacker coach in recruiting. Then just outside linebacker. Then Toledo defensive back. So now we've gone eight years and he's done every position

at a small school. Then Missouri D.C. Then Cowboys linebackers. Cowboys linebacker. Or Browns linebackers. Cowboys linebackers, Cowboys linebacker, or Browns linebackers, Cowboys linebackers, Cowboys linebackers in a passing game, Indy defensive coordinator, Bears head coach 20 years after he got into coaching. Okay, that's interesting because he never was at the –

sometimes if you catch on, like, hey, I'm now coaching for McVay, and we went to the Super Bowl. Like, why didn't you just follow Saban? Well, no, it's just like I'm going to pick off hot assistants from this year's good team. But you didn't really lay out any of that. There was no time. I don't know what happened with Mizzou.

I'm pretty sure Mizzou was good during that time. Yeah, but then he still ends up taking a position coach with the Cowboys. It's not like he got a – but off of being D.C. and Indy, he gets a head coach job. Whereas, I don't know, was Indy that – you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah. If you're Shanahan's coordinator, you're probably going to get a – you're probably going to be top in line to be a head coach at some point.

I mean, heck. It used to happen with the Cowboys in the 90s. If you think of Shanahan, Mike McDaniel was their run game. He wasn't even an offensive coordinator. He was a run game coordinator. Yeah. Got picked off for a head coaching job by Miami. But to your original point, it's very possible.

That Ryan Griffin would be a head coach. He's an extremely brilliant football guy. I've never thought of him. He's not like a rah-rah guy necessarily, so I don't know if you have to be. And that could be Joe's path to a coaching staff. Maybe. That's how it works. I hadn't checked up on him since we talked to him last,

and he was hired sometime in February or March by the Bears, and he retired, and he's an assistant that works with the quarterbacks and receivers. And if Caleb Williams turns out to be the next one like you're saying he will. That would help. Yeah. That would definitely help. Because you get on with young Peyton Manning or something. Yeah, for sure. You're going to go somewhere.

But I didn't know this about his professional development when I was watching the show. And then I just heard this. It's Matt Eberflus' daughter talking to him. Coach Flus, as I call him, is wearing white pants and some really fancy shoes and a shirt

that kind of looks 70s-ish. It's like corduroy brown. And I haven't had that moment yet It kind of looks 70s-ish. It's like corduroy brown. Yeah. And I haven't had that moment yet where I've been like, it's time for you to go back to work. That's the wife. So she hasn't gotten sick of me yet. No. No, not at all.

Wait, Dad. Daughter. Did you see that Ryan Griffin has the same outfit on as you? Yeah, same exact. He's got white shoes, white pants. Except he looks like a quarterback. That's right. I look like a fullback.

So it's something small, but I was just like, Griff? Yeah. I just saw him on the screen. And then I saw him on the sideline with Caleb Williams. We were just talking the other day about who has white pants. And odd that these two people both have white pants. They must have gone to their haberdashery. Yes.

I texted him, and I'm like, hey, you know, this is wild, man. I didn't know you were doing this. I'm like, we'd love to get you back on the show sometime. And he's like, would love to. I'm really busy. And I'm like, okay. Yeah. Kind of feeling.

Yeah, yeah. I pulled this because while I think that the Bulls intro is cool, I also think that City's... I'm trying to think of a way to describe this. I know what you're thinking. Like the Rocky thing in Philadelphia. I like the Rocky song. I hate that anytime you see Philadelphia,

it's kitschy to me. It loses its original effect when they do this. And now, its original effect when they do this. And now, the starting lineup for your Chicago Bears. This is what they would play for Jordan and Pippen. The Bulls coming up. And they're showing the guy with a mic recording it, and they're showing highlights of Caleb.

From Southern California, and quarterback, 6'1", Caleb Williams. That's probably the same guy. It's the same guy. Yeah. Ready, go, go, go, go, let's go. Here we go, Mike in the 7.

Ready, set, go. Yeah, that doesn't sound like an authoritative voice that I'm going to listen to. No, and there was a moment. Like Dak does. Here we go. There was a moment, too. Yeah, let's go.

I cut it off from that clip. Very Tyson. Are you ready? Yeah, where he's on the sideline with one of the DBs. And I thought it was cool to see there's a couple throws he makes in practice where there are guys on the sideline that are, like, genuinely blown away. They're like, how did he do that? Because he can do that.

But there's also a moment where one of their DBs is on the sideline with him and he's like, dude, this is your team. Like speak up. Now is the time. Like they're going to listen to you, so speak up. See, that's interesting. Can you teach leadership? I don't know.

I don't know. Typically I would say no. But do you have to be a vocal leader if you're really, really good? No. That's the thing. This last one, I have the whole thing with Saban. I'm not going to play all of it. I'll play the beginning of it for you because, I don't know,

I mean I could sit and listen to this guy talk about football to anybody for any amount of time. He was in there for about five minutes. Like Dan said, he coached Ibraflues at Toledo, and he was there for practice. I do appreciate that he still just wears a crimson suit everywhere he goes. Dude, you're allowed to wear other clothes. That's all he's got. Yeah.

Here's my theory on why NFL quarterbacks fail at such a dramatic rate. To me, expectations are a killer. This kid you got, this kid's got so much media, so much hype, so much expectation on doing well. Pause it. See, that's why I'm saying even when your head coach and your GM and everybody that brings you in is like, you're the next one. This day will go down in history.

You're going to, like, that's really putting, you know, you kind of almost need the head coach to be the governor against that, to be like, hey, you don't, you know, I don't know. Like Parcells? Yeah. I mean, I remember thinking this exact same thing with Jameis and whoever the Tampa Bay head coach was at the time, who was short. Dirt cutter.

Yeah, but it was the same exact thing. Like, I'm giving you, you're the king. It's whatever, you know, revolves around you. There was no, like, hey, I'm trying to give you a little dose of reality. Like, obviously, I think you're good, but I've got to, let's play these roles here. Let me be coach and you be player, and let me just keep you grounded a little bit. And Saban, I'll bet, is perfect at this.

Belichick is perfect at this. Doing well. And he has to develop so quickly to meet the expectations that everybody has for him. It's almost impossible. Because there is a development phase to this. The first year is rookie, second year, and as a third year, they got it once they're in our system. And I think that's the biggest thing you've got to worry about

with your quarterback. Because the expectations are a killer. But yet, to use your word, development is the key. Let me pause it, too. There's also going to be a problem because I don't know that Eberflus feels really secure in his future. No. So does he have three years? Probably not.

So is he going to be forcing things? Yeah. The GM is relatively new. What, two years maybe? Did the GM pick? Okay, they came in together, so they must have. So they both picked the, what's his name, the other quarterback? That I can't think of right now?

Justin Fields? Yeah. No. No, they would not. They were given him? Yes. Okay, so now maybe. They were given him? Yes. Okay, so now maybe they will both get three years to – That's possible.

Like this is now my team. This is what I wanted. Yeah, okay. All right, so this next part, it's really weird because hard knocks, there's curse words. You know, like when he refuses in front of the team, there's curse words. But when Saban was talking, he said shit once and it dropped out, which I thought was weird.

You're not going to hear the N-word, but you will hear F-words and whatever else. It's HBO, and it's always been that way. Is it because he's an ESPN employee or something? I don't know. It was weird. I didn't note that. There's a couple things in here that I think will jump out. For him, you know, like Peyton Manning threw 28 interceptions when he was a rookie. He's the most

in the history of ball. By the way, a guy who definitely doesn't say football, he says ball. The most in the history of ball. Here's a ball. football. He says ball. The most in the history of ball. Here's your ball. There is no other ball.

Put the nail on it. But it didn't affect him. It's like the scoreboard. Scoreboard don't mean anything until the game. Okay. Do you hear that? Scoreboard doesn't mean anything? Don't mean anything.

That's not what he said. What? Let's pay very close attention to here. I'm glad you guys have me on this wall. They edited him saying either a goddamn thing or fucking shit. Listen. But it didn't affect him. It's like the scoreboard. Scoreboard don't mean anything until the game's over.

Okay, yeah. You can see it with his mouth? Yeah, and I can hear it too. Okay, now that you've pointed it out. It's a hard cut. They just found another clip of him saying anything, possibly in this same sit-down with Coach Floose, and they just edited it in there.

And did the music change? We can listen again. It's such a horror. It sounds like a Norm drop edit that grooves into where it's like, stick your African. Yeah, the nail on it. But it didn't affect them. It's like the scoreboard. Scoreboard don't make

benefit until the game's over. The music changes. Okay, so they put it together normally, and then someone came in at the end and said, hey, no, take that out. Yeah. And they just removed it. Yeah, on a separate track. It's really, really weird. Yeah, maybe Saban's like, I'll be a part of this, but I have to have editorial control over what is put out of me.

Or Saban's people or something. Yeah, anyways, I just thought it was weird. But I think this is going to be a fun season. You know, they got some interesting cats. Yeah, no, it looks okay. I'm excited for it. And now that you tell me the end season is going to feature Jameis at least, one-fourth Jameis.

That's true. The Browns. I'm looking forward to that. Let's do some viewer mail, then we'll get our cowboy audio of the day. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute, Uncle Hotmail. Hey, Uncle Hotmail. Uncle Hotmail, look at me. As a Friday, we always have a lot of birthdays.

And this week is no different. And let's see. I could do some non-birthdays. Let's see. Back in parking. Flagstaff Food Place. I got a couple of DZRV emails. Okay. Godfather Gash, will only those of you on the trip be voting on DZRV MVP, or will it be put to a subby vote? Okay.

I'm sure Twitter or Instagram poll would receive some substantial subby engagement or at least it could be like the presidential election where we all get to vote but it doesn't matter at all because ultimately you guys will decide on your own. Politics, baby.

Yeah, we'll put a poll out if you want. Yeah, I don't care. Airboned Killer on Twitter says, Rob, not sure if y'all figured it out yet, but there's a set screw on the generator that you can adjust for higher elevation. He's nodding yes. All right.

That has been the only bad part of the trip, driving without a generator. Yes, because it cut off our broadcast, number one. Yes. And then it gets a little warm in here. And then the AC dies. Yes. But more importantly.

Think about all the room you guys are going to have. Stupid Xbox. I couldn't play NCAA. That's literally all he was concerned about. I had to read a book. So you'd rather have no air conditioning but NCAA? That's not even a question. Are you serious?

Okay, because I'm just sweating my balls off. Yeah, but no, I couldn't come back in the second half against Texas State. No, it was never going to happen. They had hung 28 on you pretty easily in the first half. Hey, tonight we may do this on a stream. Or not tonight, on Monday night. Where I just do play-by-play on Blake's

playing his Nintendo. Okay. I want you two to play. Can we do that on a stream? I think that needs to happen. Yeah. Think of all the room you guys are going to have in here on the way back. I'm going to be crammed into a little airline seat. Oh, now he's... He's trying to flip it.

Trying to flip it is not going to work. I got to try. But we did try the dial. That didn't fix it. I think it was... The generator was overheating on the trip.

Like, it would run for a while. What if we put an ice pack on it? We were overheating. That's a solutions man right there. Yeah. Or a fan. Yeah. I have if we put an ice pack on it? We were overheating. That's a solutions man right there. Yeah. Or a fan. Yeah.

I have one piece of mail. Blow on it. Are you still on the RV? You want to keep going? No, go ahead. It's your show. You can do whatever you want. Email over there.

It's really nothing, but Jameson sent me this, and I was surprised he didn't send it to Blake. Now, this is not going to mean anything to Dan and Rob, as we learned on the day that I was gone, and Lawrence and Danny filled in, and he was telling us about his Lindsey Stirling concert. Why did he initially become interested in her music?

Do you remember? Some video game. It was the background music. The Halo menu screen. I didn't even really play Halo, but I knew it. I think I'm going to try to play tonight. Halo? Yeah. Well, Jameson made you a song. Okay. This is familiar.

Oh, my gosh. What are we dealing with here? I'm torn. Halo is just like a... I mean, this is the theme, but instead of just singing, they're saying dumb zone. Normally they're just like monks just going... Oh, okay. Yeah.

All right. And I mean... Hell yeah, we're in a warthog right now. For me, this is, hey, we had a huge party last night and I come out first so I can clean and the TV is just still on this. Oh, okay.

And it just, for 10 hours straight, you just hear... Yeah. Oh, okay. And it just, for ten hours straight, you just hear, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh, mwuh Mix it. Back to my little emails. Speaking of Jameson, he sent an email, a birthday wish. Okay. Dear Uncle Meat Curtains. Jeez. Sunday, August 11th is the 33rd birthday. I don't need your fingerprints on my screen.

Is that me? Yeah. My bad. The Jesus birthday of the one and only Caitlin Noblock. Wow. I'm sure Jake is thrilled to know they share the same astrological sign. Always did come off as a Leo to me. Her leaders are Lawrence Rosales' retired crack pipe, Blake's MBR, and Drop Beth.

How is Beth doing? How is Beth doing? How is Beth doing? She's not reported. I have not been sent a picture yet. I feel like... That's all you care about? I feel like asking her, but then... What if she's dead?

Yeah, what if it's bad? I don't want to hear anything bad. That's why you lay back. That's your advice? Yeah. Okay. And don't leave the house tomorrow other than to go to the beach.

Go get you some soup. You know you want some soup. Yeah, I thought I should walk there. I just wanted to see what my steps would be if I walked down to that soup place. But I don't want to walk. Then I know I have to walk back. Burn it off. They actually say

that's one of the healthiest things you can do. What? Walk after eating. Really? Yeah. What about Walk after eating. Really? Yeah. What about sleep? I like that. I was going to say, that's actually the worst thing you can do, and that's what I typically do. But it feels so good.

Caitlin would like you to know that lesbians can totally moose. They just have to do it one-handed. There has to be a moose knuckle joke in there somewhere I'm not clever enough to come up with. There has to be a moose knuckle joke in there somewhere I'm not clever enough to come up with. So do they digitize each other doggy style? They can. Is that what that means?

Is that why you have one hand free? I've never thought about that. But that has to be it, right? I'm not sure. I don't know. Well, help me. Think through it with me. Why would you only have one hand? Well, you're doing something with the other hand. That's what I'm saying. And if the moose thing involves you being behind.

Is every sexual act between two ladies deal with a hand? Well, I mean, there's obviously an instrument that could be used. But I suppose you could be holding that. The other option would, of course, be strapping in. Which doesn't sound like she does. The behind scissor. How would that work? I don't know.

I don't think it would. I think we're all just brainstorming here. Well, that one I'm throwing out immediately. Well, let's not throw it out until we see it. Quality control. Dan's... No, you told me to think about it. I know.

Yeah, yeah. I appreciate it. Why is your computer moving? It's right here. Uncle Hotmail, my name is Craig Titsworth. Okay. I think that's actually his name. He says, I may have one of the greatest names in history.

Saturday is my Buddy Ryan defense birthday. Ryan defense? My Buddy Ryan. The 46? Defense. You've never heard of the Buddy Ryan defense? That's good. I certainly have heard of the bare front, but that all flew way over my head.

That's a good one. Yeah. My leaders are Bodie, FullStopJake, and FamilyRestroomDan. Hey, I appreciate that. FullStop. Blake is awesome and makes the show better. Thank you. Don't read the comments, Blake. I'm

really trying not to. My wife's maiden name was Pitman. She took my name. Before we were dating, she showed up in the Dallas Morning News for high school soccer as Titman. Me also being in high school at the same time, that's the moment I knew I needed to make my move. More Blake, more Julie from Craig Titsworth.

That's awesome. That's good for you, CT. So, to continue my reading the comments thing that we were going to do on the trip. Wait. Yeah. Well, for you, it's any day that ends in Y. But I do want to say that the dates that we're here definitely did not have anything to do with the ticket. And, in fact, we were pretty sure they were not going to let us out here because they don't do this.

We took the dates they gave us, which were the dates when everyone else was gone, not just the ticket. Is someone alleging that we are not here because we wanted to wait until the ticket left? I would have loved nothing more than to be here at the same time as them. To hang out. Yeah. And see them. That would have been awesome. I want to eat sushi with Craig. I know. We would have done it. Now I've got to eat sushi with Blake. You guys should go tonight. Do you want to go?

Let's reward our little champion tonight with some lobster. Or do you want to go to Oh, okay. That's right. Because I would do a seafood burrito again. I haven't had one in 48 hours. Let's do sushi tomorrow. We could. Okay.

Spencer's tonight, sushi tomorrow. What a weekend. Halo. Sushi. NCAA tomorrow morning. NFL game. Gold medal game tomorrow. This is awesome.

Kayaking. When's the gold medal game tomorrow. This is, okay, this is awesome. Kayaking. When's the gold medal game? Can we watch it? Dude, if he ends up doing the two-hour one, you should go. I'm telling you, it's not hard. You can go at your own pace. You're just on the water.

You get a view you're never going to get. My pace is really slow. It's not a race. It's just like a two, or is it? What if I die? Okay, well, then do this. Then that'd be his dream. You should go at least do the hour rental that I did. It's the Jake race. It's just like a two... Or is it? What if I die? Okay, well then do this. Then that'd be his dream. You should go at least do the hour rental that I did.

It's the Jake show. Yeah. The hour rental. Just do whatever you want. You're just out in the water. You're not getting him on a kayak. It's not hard. I like being on land. Okay.

Yeah, that CrossFitter didn't die on land. No, had he been on land, he'd be here today. In the RV. Perhaps. Tio Fuhrer, male de Caliente. I want to wish my friend Dooley a day 186, DF, a happy birthday. He is celebrating his Logan Verrett on the Rangers birthday. Logan Verrett? I don birthday. Logan Verrett?

I don't know who that is. His leaders are political analyst Jake and Wire Will's Dad's Club. Please more baby from Dan from Mario Magana. Baby. All right, baby. Oh, for sure, baby. Oh, yeah, for sure, baby. Yeah.

Our good friend Garrett. I'll throw it back out here, baby. Our good friend Garrett who I'll throw it back out here, baby. Our good friend Garrett who watches a lot of Olympics and then battles Blake on who's gayer for the word. Howdy emails in a lot. He alerted me to some audio because this time he was watching diving. And he's like, hey, check it at this minute mark last night during this competition. Are we allowed to?

Tell me what you hear. It's audio, right? Just do it. I think it's... We keep getting flagged for Olympics stuff. Have we been flagged more than once?

No, it was just that day. It's video. Okay. Okay. So, see if anything jumps out here. He's going to owe us money. Yeah.

Two whole dollars. A 63-point dive in a contest against the Chinese divers. Jack Law. Four Olympic medals, two individual springboard medals. All right. Fourth place. So we got a diver from Great Britain up there.

He's on the board. Oh, and that just took Jack out of the medals. That's a big mess. You can tell it was a huge start. So much power. They called a shart? I think she meant to say start, but she... Huge...

Why would it be a huge start? I don't know. What if they call a shart like a mess up on diving? Yeah. A shart. Jack out of the metals. That's a big mess. You can tell it was a huge shart.

So much power. He was going all in for this. You got to go all in. Yeah. Once you get the shart in there, you're like, all right, time to go. What are you learning? No? I think it's a misspeak.

Diving community doesn't know either. Anyways, shout out to Garrett. Dear Daniel, day whatever DF number, who gives an S? Read my email and wish me a happy birthday because I pay your effing salary. My leaders are the Wonder Woman creators Thrupple and Jake's instant contradictions every time he responds to something. Quote, yeah, no. People are really picking on your cadence lately. Just little things you say.

How do you respond to that? Well, I mean, I think one of us has to be the guy out front, you know, that kind of takes the heat from the public. So it's like, I mean, I think one of us has to be the guy out front, you know, that kind of takes the heat from the public. So it's like, I mean, LeBron does this where, look, I'll be the leader. And when things are going well, compliment my guys. When things are going poorly, blame me. Okay. You take this upon you.

Yeah, no. You want this. Because I know not everyone is fit for it. Do you feed off the haters? It feels like it makes you stronger. Really, I just wanted to make you guys stronger. I think that's my role, you know? Did you see that video of LeBron where they're playing in the arena

over behind them or something? A diver had done something cool. The crowd's going crazy, and LeBron thought the crowd was cheering for him. And so he's sitting on the bench and he puts the crown on. That's so LeBron. You couldn't make it up. Putting the crown on.

Couldn't make it up. I will attempt to reverse moose my wife by putting the antlers on her as she goes down on me. The one time a year I get it. I'll pretend I'm stroking her hair. But with your fingers all the way up. Please wish me a happy birthday or just tell me to F off. Happy birthday.

We'll use either one in the shower tonight from DFP. Good luck, man. Good luck F off. Happy birthday, dude. No, happy birthday, dude. Use either one in the shower tonight from DFP. Good luck, man. Good luck, man. Happy birthday. All right. Well, there's viewer mail for today. Want to get our Cowboys audio? We've lasted this long.

Yeah, baby. And we don't have Cowboys audio, baby. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, who did we interview yesterday we had a couple people actually we're going to hold on to bones i believe right we got some face time with bones i love bones now who is this guy though you said i'm after a certain guy okay so i think this will be pretty clear from the audio, but Tyron Billy Johnson. Tyron Johnson. He's bounced around. He's 28. He's been on about eight different practice squads. He was active with the Chargers for two years. He was active with the Jaguars for a year, the Raiders for a year, the Texans for a

year. You know, he's played, but he's bounced around a lot. The last year, two years, he was on practice squads, but he's actually making some plays out here, and part of that is because CD is not here. So Jerry's right. Yeah, I might have actually heard positivity about him right when I got out. Yeah. He's playing well, and it kind of looks like he has a good chance to make the team.

But, again, you know, he's really getting looks because Cooks is not here and uh you don't really is not here excuse me CD's not here and past that you pretty much just have Cooks and Tolbert as far as guys you definitely know you can count on so I was talking to my brother um on the way out here and he said hey if you want to talk to Tyron let me know and i'm like tyron who i had no idea you know i'd seen billy johnson like i knew they had a receiver with a low number 13 billy johnson but i did not this is not an immediately clock for me i'm like who you talking about you know tyron smith like he's gone he said no tyron billy john, the whiteout that is getting a lot of buzz out there with CD not playing, he's from New Orleans. And my brother said that when he was playing at Tulane, part of the degree for a lot of places is volunteer work.

You have to clock some community hours, especially for private universities. And his was, he was a football coach for youth, 12 year olds. And this, my brother was 21. The team was 12 year olds. He said, it's an eight man tackle football league. And it had two NFL players and four other D1 players that didn't go to the NFL, and there were only eight kids on the team. Wow. And he's like, I coached Tyron when he was 12. And he's seen him and talked to him in the last couple months. And so I was like, I'm going to see if I can find this guy. And much like with Micah, I thought there was about a 5% chance he would remember any of this.

But let's see. Do you happen to know a guy named joe kemp by any chance yes that's my guy that's my brother yeah no way yes that's your brother yes it's my he's two years younger than me played at tulane yeah i got okay stop it real quick let's hear it okay so we were we were talking about this afterward and you know blake is a very good friend of mine dan's a very good friend I told TC last night I was like you know you're my best friend bud I would never

describe someone like you know TC I would never be like that's my brother right right I don't say that if I say brother in a non ironic sense I mean that you are my sibling genetically and biologically, but black

dudes say... But you're white. But black dudes say brother, like, oh, yeah. So he had to... It's like in... Like, hey, wait. He's like, wait. Your blood brother? Yeah. Because brother could be a stand-in for partner. It could be a stand-in for cousin. None of which are actually used

in the real sense. So you can see a moment where he's like, wait, like, you're a real brother? Yeah. And I can see a moment where he's like, wait, like your real brother? Yeah. And I thought that was funny. He's like, oh, shit. Tulane hosted a youth impact program for all the kids in the city. And, like, so the whole summertime we played contact football the whole summer, and he was my coach.

He was my coach and my school teacher. So every college student was assigned to a kid and uh he had to coach him we had to live with him so i stayed in the dorm with him so he had so he was our teacher in the classroom and then he was our coach and then i had to go live in his dorm how would you grade him out no he's a great guy actually we just uh we just talked on instagram i put a column uh soon but that's my guy for sure. Yeah, he said, I can't remember what he told me. He said, you're definitely making the team, so when you get back to New Orleans, 2901, is that a bar?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're going to hit the bar. Yeah, yeah, got to celebrate. He said there were like two NFL players on that 12-year-old team and maybe a few other D1s. Did you guys just run it? It was a few of us. It was going to be me, Stanley Morgan, Carlos Henderson,

a lot of elite college guys that didn't go pro but really elite in college, Deshaun Capersmith. Did you guys just beat everybody down? It was split up. So everybody had at least two stars on their team. They didn't let one team stack up on the stars. So they were like, you got them, give me him. And everybody just kind of split up.

Why are his pants cut like that? Just wants it that way, I guess. A lot of these guys, I'm surprised, like even Micah, they don't have knee pads. The knee pad is essentially gone. Yeah. You might see a thigh pad. If you're not talking about a lineman, you're going to get a thigh pad at most. Why is that?

Is it just easier to move around? Way easier. Determined after a long time? Like, these aren't preventing injuries or anything? I don't see how it doesn't prevent pain, man. Yeah, like scraping on the ground or whatever. Not even. That is kind of just going to happen.

And if you think about it in a game, you know, they're not going to the ground much out here. So in a game, you're going to have tights on underneath and, like, socks all the way. They're just grabbing you and you're not really tapping. Yeah, yeah. And what some guys do is they cut them and then they wear the leg sleeve in case they do go to the ground.

But in his case, he has – To get the turf burn like you said you got in high school? Oh, yeah. And I wear them now because in the event that somebody says like, hey, you have to work out on grass because you're going to wake me up. I don't want to get my knees all jacked up whenever I'm doing a lunge or something. But his look is definitely unique. He's the only one I saw with cut but one leg sleeve, like it's a shooting sleeve.

But, hey, I mean, he remembered, and I was like, okay, cool, this is going well. And the other thing, too, unlike with, I guess, with Overshawn, because he was the only guy, and Aubrey, because he's he's the PR guy was not lurking on Tyron Billy Johnson so I didn't feel like oh we got to rush through this as much as I did the other one so it's like all right we've got a couple minutes to set up here now let's get to our questions this is my friend Dan how you doing Dan so we're gonna do something we've done with a few other players this is like debates or topics that come up on our show and we're gonna have you settle things we disagree on okay the first one is uh when it comes to parking do

you back in park ever or are you always a front park guy i'm a it depends on if i'm running late or not if i'm running late probably just pull in but i would prefer to back in okay that's his move yeah i find it i find it selfish because everyone has to wait on you, but that's your goal. When you're at home, let's say you got to go number one. Do you ever sit down? Just relax? No way. Why not? No way. No way. I mean, that's kind of weird.

It seems like it's for a woman, right? Yeah, yeah. Old man. Look at us. He's got a funny laugh. Do you have a dog? I have a dog. Look at us. Look at us. He's got a funny laugh. Do you have a dog? I have a dog, an English Bulldog. Okay, so let's say that... Do you ever wash it?

I'll let somebody else do it. Okay, but if you can't get to the groomer and let them bathe it, like sometimes I have a lab, she'll get in the mud, and I've got to wash the dog. I'll get in the shower with the dog, but I leave my shorts on. He's already given the side eye. No, no, I'm not showering. He says it's weird that I leave them on. I'm not showering with a dog, but I leave my shorts on. He's already given the side eye. No, no, I'm not showering. He says it's weird that I leave them on.

I'm not showering with a dog. Even with the trunks on? It'd be more weird naked, for sure. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're in there, I'll clean all of you. It'd be more weird naked, though. Okay, sticking with that theme, do you ever...

Do you think the dog would be too attracted to you if you were naked? The dog would definitely be uncomfortable. That's what I'm saying. If he was naked, yeah, uncomfortable. He doesn't need to see that. It's like your kids. Uncomfortable dog, for sure. Sticking with this, do you ever take baths?

Just relax. Maybe some salt or something. I don't have time. Mostly showers. Okay. Because this guy will take a bath in a hotel. I love a bath. Like even the hotel.

That's weird. That's weird. That's a weird guy. You know Joe's my brother. How about an eye mask? Sleeping sleeping you ever throw on complete darkness i tried it once you don't like it i couldn't go to sleep okay so i never tried again okay this one's a little bit controversial let's say that me or perhaps my brother we're listening we're both big hip-hop fans we're listening to a certain song in the car by ourselves right kanye are there any words in particular that you think that I should censor myself on,

or should I just roll with it because I'm on my own? I think you should play the clean version. Or can I play the dirty version but just not say that part? Yeah, yeah, that would be respectful. That's a nice meet in the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that. Do you believe in ghosts? I heard a couple stories.

What does that mean? No, I never saw nothing personally, but I heard a couple stories. Enough to Do you believe in ghosts? I heard a couple stories. What does that mean? No, I never saw nothing personally, but I heard a couple stories. Enough to where you believe in it. Yeah, I have to at this point. I got one to throw in. Okay. We debated about this before. You have to date.

Two girls are there, right? They're both really attractive. Same level of attractive. Okay. One, she used to be 600 pounds but she lost the weight somehow and she's now attractive one was homeless for two years but now she's on track which one do you date you have to date one of them probably the woman that lost 600 pounds because when you're homeless you do a

lot of stuff for money and no telling what she done for to to get a sandwich right i know she worked to lose weight you know i could come back you know that's in there the 600 pounds but i think i'm with you because my thought was you could take her to dinner she might get in the trash just out of instinct yeah you walk out back and you also could be walking in a neighborhood maybe there are are other homeless people there, and you're walking with her. She's beautiful. You're having a nice night. And she sees a guy, and she's like, Jimmy?

And he's like, did they have a DAP up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I don't compete with a homeless guy. He winks at you. Like, yeah, I know what you got, brother. Would you ever go skydiving? That's a good question. I like watching videos of it, but I can't find the coverage.

1,500 skydives. No way. Yeah, it was in the X Games. No way. What about hot air balloons? Pause. Oh, no, it's okay. I do hot air balloons.

We can just keep talking. He doesn't know what the X Games is. I said that like that was the... It's like on the beach, right? Yeah, it's the beach when you get on the... You get on the... Like a machine that got like a... Like an air bubble at the top, right? Yeah, it's the beach when you get on the machine. It's got like an air bubble at the top, and the boat drives, and you go all the way to the sky.

So it's like water skiing, but you're in the sky? Yeah. Kind of, yeah. You get dragged by the boat. Yeah, you get dragged by the boat, but you're in the air, though. Okay, a couple more quick ones here. If we were to ask for stereotypical white foods, drinks, seasonings, condiments. Well, well no seasonings i think we know that uh condiments what would you say are stereotypical white people foods or drinks or condiments i always say mayonnaise uh i like mayonnaise okay there you go you're a bit of an

outlier we've learned i like many but but but it had to be casserole gotta be gotta be some type of casserole put everything rice every cheese, every cheese, all that shit in one. That's just, yeah, for sure. Casserole. Okay, so the last thing is you're new here. I don't know. Have you ever talked to Jerry? I met Jerry my first day here.

Okay. How was it? It was intense. It is intense. Like when he met me, he was like, I need you. And he was like, you might think this is just a workout, but I want you to help me win the Super Bowl. I'm like, I'm just coming off the street, not signing up.

He expect me to help you win the Super Bowl. So it was really intense. And it was meaningful to me because I never met an owner on the first day I signed with a team. That's really cool. Is it like inspirational? It definitely was. It definitely was. It was a lot of inspiration because he believed in me.

They all say it. It was big. We saw him the other day, and he has an iPhone without a case. It makes me nervous. Yeah, yeah. No case? I think he should get a case. Of course.

That's what I'm saying. I think he should, yeah. Speaking of Jerry, do you think he's ever performed a rap verse or made a rap music video? Could he afford another one? I don't know. I'm sorry. Back to the rap. Maybe. Yeah, do you think he's ever been in a rap music video could he afford another one i don't know i'm sorry back to the rap maybe yeah do you think he's ever like been in a rap video or anything i mean he definitely it definitely

would be the coolest thing to see okay so this is from uh i don't know eight years ago so might have to fast forward a little bit oh here we go took care of that bro thank you no way No way. There's got to be a... This is before AI. This is before AI? Yeah. Well, I've never seen this. Where is this video? Well, that's why I'm playing it for you now.

I need this video. No way. Where is that video? I've never saw that video. I'm trying to show it to as many guys on the team as I can. I love that video. I never saw that video. I'm trying to show it to as many guys on the team as I can. We need that. That's got to be the ESPN commercial break video for sure. I love it.

I love it. It's good to meet you, man. Good luck out there. I'll tell Joe you said that. Maybe I'll see you. Oh, yeah, for sure. Thanks for your time, man. Good dude.

Good dude. Good dude. So I've been thinking about this, my camp hypothetical that I came up with some time ago. I remember where we were, the Ventura County Fair. That's right. I laughed for two hours straight as Gordon and Donovan and me and you debated every angle of it. I feel like I need to recalibrate it though because the answer is clear. It's the woman who lost weight. I don't know that that's

true. Really? I think it's valid because, okay, here's the thing. If you end up with somebody who used to be 600 pounds and they had to grind so hard to be, as you say, this is a very attractive woman who's in shape, it might not be a problem for you because of your dietary discipline,

but she's going to be side-eyeing everything you do. Like, there's not a day where you cannot work out. There's not a day where you cannot eat healthy. Because nobody gets to that point without being maniacal about it. Like, there is no cheat day with her. She's going to be up your ass. Whereas, the other lady, even though she had to work really hard to get to where she is, off the streets, she's cleaned herself up, she's a professional,

there's a little bit of the POW thing. Because even though she had to work to get there, she's going to be very grateful for anything for the rest of her life. Hmm. Okay, now you're changing my mind again. I'm just saying you've got to consider all of it. A bit of it, like last night I was thinking thinking, is this, am I fat shaming, and is this terrible? Certainly, it is. That's pretty clear.

And is it sexist? I don't think it is sexist, because I'd like to ask a lady the same thing. You know, would you want a guy who looked like the Guinness guy on the motorcycle or whatever, but that was homeless for a couple years. And I don't think she'd be too fired up about either one of those things. No, I don't think so. The only, obviously, as Tyron pointed out, the other element of it is, I'm not saying it's unheard of for men to be forced into sex acts on the street,

but it's certainly more common with females. Right. I mean, and I think for the purposes of this, we have to say, like, she's... But if they were good with that sex act, are they even on the street? Well, I don't know. You can do that good enough. You're never going to go homeless. I think you have to also say she's clean. Because if she has AIDS or something, then I think this is a pretty obvious deal breaker.

So the only... Unless you're a bug chaser. That's true. The only residual effects of her time on the street is that you don't really know but you know you're not going to get sick yourself but there's going to be times when you're thinking like dang and you're gonna at some point like kind of dip your toe in like idiots do when they want to know how long how many you know the body count of their wife you don't want to know you're going to occasionally be like so how bad was it yeah and then she's going to look at you

and be like how much do you want to know right and're going to occasionally be like, so how bad was it? Yeah. And then she's going to look at you and be like, how much do you want to know? Right. And you're like, then instantly you'll regret saying that because you'll think, gosh. Yeah. If she can't instantly answer. I know. Then it must be pretty bad. It's something to consider, folks.

All right. Then on Monday's show, you could find out whether or not Bones Fossil wanted to answer that question or not. News? Let's do it to it. Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News. I'm going to start with just a quick piece of audio here. So we talked yesterday about how you hadn't really seen Trump in a minute. It was mostly J.D. Vance.

You hadn't really seen Kamala too much until the rally the other night with Tim Waltz, but probably right around the time that we were recording saying you hadn't really seen Trump much, he was doing a press conference, kind of unprompted a little bit. Well, I suppose not

unprompted. The media was there, but it was not planned days and days and days in ahead. There was one clip I had to play for you. The whole thing is hilarious, as they usually are, but he's asked, I think, how are you recovering from the assassination attempt? Which is wild, and I don't even want to get into the conspiracy thing

in my mind, because it's too crazy, but it is remarkable that you could see him a week later, and there was no mark. And now it looks like there's nothing. Yeah, my mom ain't buying it. It was three weeks ago, right?

Nor are members of her Pinochle Club. No, I mean, I told you, my mom right away, I showed it to her, I showed her all the stuff, she's like, that's not real. And, you know, he had the bandage on for a week maybe, like through the convention. But there's not even like a residual thing on his ear. Like it's just normal. Yeah. So he was asked how he's healing. And he said a couple things in here that I thought were hilarious.

On sports. Yeah. Pretty much recovered, yeah. I'm a fast healer. Okay. First of all, like there's literally not anything that you can bring up that he's not going to brag that he's great at. That I'm better at it than probably most. This is going to be

one of the greatest golf matches ever when he's with Bryson. This is the best golf course in the world. It was ranked number one. We had the best economy. I did the best on the cognitive test. We had H2O. We had the best numbers ever. Yeah, I know more had the best numbers ever. Yeah.

I know more about the military than anybody. You know, I'm a big guy, sir. They were crying in awe and then this. I'm a fast healer. It's a hell of a shot, but I'm a fast healer. Yeah, pretty much, pretty much recovered. No, it didn't hit that. So she asked, do you have any ear damage, hearing damage? Okay. No, it didn't hit that. So she asked, do you have any ear damage, hearing damage?

Okay. No, it didn't hit that. I got very lucky. It just hit the lobe, as they call it. As they call it. Yeah, a little bit, not much. On top. Yeah.

The lobe. For you laymen. The technical term. It didn't say earlobe. No, it didn't. But it's just he's so out of touch, as I'm sure most of them are, that he thinks he has to explain to us morons. Oh, man. I love the guy.

Just absolutely love it. Okay, let's see. What do I have next for you? Let me get back to the red sheet. Oh! This is a fun one. No guns at the State Fair of Texas this year.

That's not every year? Apparently not. Last year there was a shooting that injured three people. And last year it was no minors without an adult, right? Yeah. Which was really kind of loosey-goosey because you could get in with your parents, the chaperone or your parents, but then you didn't have to stay with them. You just had to be able to reach them if you needed them to come pick you up or you to come pick them up. You had to have communication. Or you at least had to have someone that was 21.

Right. So you didn't necessarily have to have a parent. Yeah, it could just be a chaperone. Wasn't that a thing where we wanted to make money last year, go out there and offer five bucks? Yeah. I'll let you in. Business there.

So is that not a thing anymore? We've moved on to the guns? No, that's still a thing. Yeah. Okay. The State Fair is a private, not-for-profit organization. It can prohibit firearms within the fairgrounds. This applies across the board.

Even people who practice constitutional carry, concealed carry, and open carry. If I can't carry my gun, I'm not going. Because what if a bad guy with a gun does get in there? I know. Trust me, if something happens,

this will be the first thing that people talk about. I'm a good guy. Yeah, you're going to spring into action. I wonder if I can bring my knife. No, you cannot bring your knife. Well, illegal knives. Chinese throwing star? Illegal knives, clubs, explosives, ammunition, and even replica or hoax weapons.

So I know you had that pipe bomb fashioned for the Ferris wheel. What about my... I just built a clock. It's in a briefcase. Yeah, it's just a clock. Now why is it counting towards zero? It's just a weird stable for time. What's all these wires? It's just, I mean, it's a home kit. Okay. I just made the clock. What's all these wires? It's just, I mean, it's a home kit.

Okay. I just made the clock. What? I feel like if you play your cards right, you're going to get to meet Barack Obama. Can we meet? How old is Clockboy now? He's probably like 30. Clockboy.

And it was 30. He's got a startup? Probably. Series A. Now, is that racist? No, he's just a kid that was really into making gadgets and experimenting. Why? What is his nationality?

I have no idea. I just thought he was a kid. Occasionally, I just like to ask people when they're talking, do you think that's racist? Just out of the blue? Yes. Yeah. Well, we've hinted on it yesterday whenever we were talking about space jizz,

but I read up a lot more on the astronauts. See, and I talked to my wife yesterday. Say, what did you do on the show today? And I'm like, I don't remember. Now I can. Yeah. If you see your wife, you'll see your wife tonight, today? And I'm like, I don't remember. Now I can... Yeah. If you see your wife, you'll see your wife tonight, right? We were talking about space jizz.

Yeah, I tend to forget until Blake does his masterful work on social media, and I'm like, damn, we did spend like two minutes on space jizz. That's right, okay. So, yeah, I didn't really know the whole deal, but it's apparently going to be decided next week. The problem is... Wait, what is now? How they're going to do this. So the Boeing Starliner,

which is what they took up there... These are the people stuck in space? Yeah, a man and a woman. Okay, great. And they're stuck at the International Space Station, and Boeing's like, dude, just try it. We think it's good.

It's probably pretty good. But something... One of the thrusters failed. Sorry, I haven't been able to use this in so long. This little space background music. Sorry.

I could tell how excited he got when he knew what this story was. And that's the only reason why. He doesn't really care about this story or anything I'm about to do. I'm very worried about this. He just wanted to play this. Well, he spent ten minutes making it. So, yeah, you got to release it into the wild. So they were able to dock safely, Dan.

But they still had a couple of thrusters down. the wild. So they were able to dock safely, Dan. But they still had a couple of thrusters down. All but one of the 28 thrusters seem okay now. But the fear that if too many quote, conk out again, which seems like a weird word for the AP to use. Technical term.

It would conk. The crew's safety could be jeopardized. Yeah, that's like a word you say, like, like, I got conked on his noggin. Yeah. I haven't heard that in a long time. Just like you guys hadn't heard footsie in a long time. Yeah. I heard conk.

They say they need the thrusters it flights in to keep the capsule in the right position for the critical deorbit burn. So, SpaceX is headed up there. You have to say that separately. SpaceX is headed up there. Because you're saying space sex. SpaceX is headed up there in February. And they could bring them back. That's Elon.

Yes, but they're not able to just speed it up. Like, that's the schedule they're on. So, they're telling them right now. You could go. That's the schedule they're on. So they're telling them right now February is the next time. Yeah. Because they're supposed to last six months. I wonder if that's a fun beating.

Next month, SpaceX is going up there and they have an open dock, I guess. Okay. SpaceX will not send anything up there for less than six months. They're going to be there on their mission through the end of the year. That's a non-starter for them. That's a non-starter for Elon.

They can't negotiate that down. All right. So they're like, these guys are going to get up there, and they're like, hey, we're your ride home, but we're going to be here another six months. Okay. Or they could go with the Boeing Starliner. And like I said, Boeing, very on top of things of late, is like, hey, I think it's cool. We're probably fine.

I think it's probably fine. And then NASA's like, I don't know. Yes, they said NASA will make a decision by next week. There are two Russians up there right now. And you know, this has been a little bit blown out of proportion. It would suck to be stuck in space. I will give you that. There's nine people up there right now. And you know, this has been a little bit blown out of proportion. Not, it would be suck,

it would suck to be stuck in space. I will give you that. There's nine people up there. Oh, I thought it was just two. They're the only two astronauts, which, Oh.

I assumed if you were, So you're saying it's a good time up there? No, but I would assume, like they say that there are nine people on the crew. I'm just assuming if you're in space on a spaceship, even if you're not the driver, I don't know,

aren't you an astronaut? Hmm. Like, doesn't just going to space make you an astronaut? Well, not every person on the fire truck or ambulance is a paramedic. Are you sure? Yeah. I think they are.

I think they are, too. Some get paid more because they are paramedics. All right. Well, I'm just telling you. There's a bunch of people up there. So are the paramedics the ones with, like, they got one arm and stuff? Maybe it's just on the fire truck. Hold on.

Nope. Bang a T. Bang a T, because here's the thing. Maybe it's just on the fire truck. Hold on. Nope. Bang a T. Bang a T because here's the thing.

Not only he's looking to make a paraplegic joke, but paraplegics are not fucking amputees. What's the Paralympics? I feel like the Paralympics guys don't have legs and stuff. I'm just thinking about our nation and these poor souls that are stuck up in space. It means that the Paralympics are the parallel games to the Olympics. Oh. So how do you get your steps when you're up there? You don't.

Yeah, they must be way out of shape. But we're giving him way too much of a pass on this. Just like Jake. Did you think that paraplegic meant that you have had an amputation? Yeah. It means you can't use them. But they don't just cut them off. You ever seen somebody in a wheelchair?

They have legs. I thought they just cut them off. You ever seen somebody in a wheelchair? They have legs. I thought they just had a blanket. It was a bad joke and not even a correct joke. It was a pretty good joke. Anyways, they're stuck up there. Book them? That'd be great. Yeah.

I feel like so beaten. They have internet up there? book them. That'd be great. Yeah. Like so beaten. They have internet up there? They have. Yeah, dude. They're watching the Olympics and stuff. You know what'd suck is if they got up there though and like HBO Max was blocked for your region. Like how does it end?

Looks like you're on vacation. Yeah, yeah. You get that with YouTube TV? I'm temporarily here. Yeah. And then I did it last night at the house and they're like enjoy your trip i'm like shut up oh it says that on there well i don't don't it's kind of the other day when i got seven emails from companies wishing

me happy birthday and i would click on the email like what deals do they have in here and it's like nope it just says happy birthday shut up thanks yeah Thanks. Yeah, where's the code? Where's your Papa code? And our final story. I shouldn't have said final story because now he's going to be prepped. An Arlington woman says a man groped her while she was in the self-checkout at Walmart. Wait, what happened? An Arlington woman says a man groped her while she was in the self-checkout at a Walmart. The answer, Blake, is probably no.

Am I interested? Yeah. Well. This happened back on July 30th. End that sentence again. The first sentence. Arlington. A man groped her where? Arlington.

At a Walmart. At a self-checkout lane in a Walmart. So now, did that answer your question? You don't think there's any baddies at Walmart? But then why was she groped? Well, we could get into that. So there are security cameras everywhere in Walmart. Because you thought you could get away with it.

The suspect ran away. They don't have him in custody. Did he flee? He fled. Lauren Alexis says she was sexually assaulted while at a self-checkout counter. Walmart... That's a hot name there, dude. Can I keep going on the whole

Arlington... I think she's Arlington Walmart hot. It's the Arlington Walmart at 287, too, so it's not even like it's the... There's something called Lauren Alexis TV. Is that her? I doubt it. She says he smelled of alcohol like he had just drank something. All right.

Yeah, Arlington 287, Walmart hot. Yeah, okay. Dudes. Come on, man. It's day six, brother. Yeah. That's not. I mean, you guys are.

That's like. You're too picky there. That might be like a Boyd six, but Arlington's a big city. I bet she would understand what I'm going through right here with you being mean. That is not an Arlington 6, man. She would have laughed at your joke. She would have laughed at my joke. Oh, dude.

Shared a cigarette. There's no doubt about that. And if she smokes. She pokes. Now, here's the thing. She says she was frustrated because her credit card was not being accepted. Yeah. That's when she says a man in line approached her.

Okay. And he said, maybe I can help. Lauren Alexis, according to her Instagram bio, professional and published full-time model, actress, and competitive hip-hop dancer. That is not the same woman. Looks a lot like her. Model for what? Recovering from meth?

Being hot. Lauren Alexis TV, she does ASMR on YouTube. All right. Well, I don't think this is her anyways. The guy said, maybe I can help. 150,000 subbies. But she says, out of nowhere, the man groped her underneath her dress. Next thing I know, he had his hand up my thigh.

She said it felt like he had done this before. Which, if you kind of unravel it, means he had a pretty soft touch. Kind of knew what he was doing a little bit. You have to give him a little credit. But, yeah, I don't know. I guess I would just, if you're going to be a groper, maybe the guy's still in the minor leagues and he's trying to work his way up, but if you're going to catch a charge,

I would recommend not risking at all at an arm's length. Do you ever wonder how Nectar can offer such an – Walmart on 287. No, we don't. There's your news. It's okay. I'm looking at Lauren Alexis. Now I'm going to do it to both of you.

The Dumb Zone News. Like and subscribe. Feel my wrath. The Dumb Zone presents... So many spam emails. ...today in history. You getting a lot of calls? Beth says, hi, fellas.

Surgery went fine yesterday. Up tops, gone as planned. So much drugs keeping me comfortable. I should be home this afternoon. So apparently you get the modifications later. Would you trade the up tops for a bunch of drugs? I guess it depends. I mean, you got rid of drugs. Guess it depends. I mean, you got rid of cancer, too.

Yeah. Seems like a good deal. She defeated cancer. Truly. Not like those losers. I don't cheer for them. What are we doing now? Oh, today is Friday, August 9th, guys.

Friday! It's Friday. It does not feel like Friday. What are you doing? You're hopping a train or something and going to Disneyland? Yeah, I think I'm going to Uber. It's going to cost me about $80 more than the train and the bus would, but it will also save me about two hours.

So, you know, go see the kids. Hey, do they have gummy delivery in California? Probably. When I was in New York one time, before it was legal, they had that. Before it was legal? Yeah, like you know a guy and he's got a service. Oh, wow. Just bike over to your house.

Or your apartment, whatever. It's a big city, I hear. Just bike over to your house. Or your apartment, whatever. It's a big city, I hear. So, on this day in 1945, three days after the atomic bombing of Hiroshima... Did you juice? I'm doing okay, but if... No, I'm full, so I'm just saying. Oh, yeah, I'll take it. A little juice for you?

Jake has had some computer problems out here. By the grace of God, it's come together by the showtime every day. Sorry, back to Japan. Three days after Hiroshima, a U.S. B-29 Super Fortress codenamed Boxcar dropped a nuclear device codenamed Fat Man over Nagasaki, killing 74,000 people.

We were laughing this morning at the breakfast place. They have a bunch of Americana-type stuff on the wall. They've got a Rosie the Riveter painting. Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn Monroe and some paintings of troops and they had a painting of the front page of uh of a national newspaper i guess or maybe it was the new york times whatever from maybe it would have been august 11th august 10th august 12th something like that. The headline just says, Japan agrees to unconditional surrender. And I'm like, well, yeah.

If you're unconditionally surrendering, you're agreeing to everything. Yeah, I think pretty much your country's gone. So, yeah. So I just had an alert pop up on my wrist that I put in for today. This could be controversial. So I'm going to go to the grocery store or whatever store, and I'm going to buy my own shampoo. They do have shampoo in our – do you have a shampoo in your shower?

It's just like the one that's in the dispenser on the – Yeah, like they have a couple of dispensers. But it's been throwing me off. Shampoo and conditioner. I don't like to use other people's thing. But there's two of them. One says conditioner, but there's nothing on the other one. The other one's shampoo.

You just have to assume. Well, it could be body wash. I know, but what if I'm assuming wrong? What if I'm putting body wash on my head? There's a bar of soap in there. That's mine. Well, I'm using it. Let's just share everything while we're here.

How do you feel about that? I don't love it. I would not want someone else using my bar of soap. I just assumed it was from the place. Here's the worst part. He's a hairy dude. And he's not using a washcloth. And he's leaving hairs on the bars of soap.

Well, what you saw was probably I shaved this down. Yeah. Because I had to get it out of this. I did do that for you. I came in there this morning and I'm like, oh, my God, my beard is like in the, you know, it didn't drain. I did clean it up for these two. The next day.

Well, I thought, yeah, I saw it this morning before he showered. I hate this trip. Anyway, I'm going to buy that and toilet paper. The one bad thing about this place is they do have thin toilet paper. You notice that? I think ours downstairs might be okay. Oh, is it? Because I had to go up to yours this morning, and I was like,

yeah, Dan, there's no way Dan likes this. Now he's in your bathroom. Now he's using my toilet. How do you like that? Jeez. How is it your toilet? Because your bathroom. Now he's using my toilet. How do you like that? Jeez. How is it your toilet? Because it's up there right next to my room. You have one right next to your room.

He was in there for a very long time. So I'm like, dude, I got to. You guys are so weird. Who cares if somebody. Matt's using it. I know, but he's cool. Do you have to use my bar of soap? Well, if you leave it in the shower, yeah.

Okay, I'm going to take it with me. Because I had in my shaving kit, I had one. It was a shampoo from a hotel. Oh, I think I stole it at the casino. You guys need to stop stealing from hotels. No, the little shampoo in a bathroom in a hotel, you're allowed to take that. Are you using my soap, too? I use the shampoo to wash.

Okay. I didn't. Anyway, I'm going to buy shampoo and toilet paper today. I'm sure Jake will run up and use it. I might. You might. I'm going to lock that toilet paper. I guess I just thought this was a family.

But I guess not. On this day in 1969, The bar soap doesn't need to be touching your balls and then my balls. Why? Who cares? It just...

You might as well just cut out the middleman. I have no problem with that. Just have sex. Yeah. Yeah. We've already made out with the toothbrush.

I'll moose it. Right. You made out, yeah, you've been... Now our wieners are touching. Heading toward that area anyway. Let's just sleep in the same bed.

Maybe some of this magic I got will rub off on you down there. On this day in 1969, actor Sharon Tate and others were found brutally slain. Cult leader Charles Manson and a group of his followers were convicted of the crime. Followers were convicted of the crime. On this day in 1999, the wife of actor William Shatner is found dead in their swimming pool. That's no good. What happened? The police said Shatner arrived at his home about 10 p.m. on a Monday night,

found his wife unconscious in the swimming pool. He called 911, listen to the operator's instructions and try to perform cpr and then or do you think it was kind of like when someone's telling you to write something down and you're like you're pretending like okay hold on yeah all right i'm going to finish the cpr now yeah it's very kind of sitting there looking at your watch. Oh, I tried it. I don't really... Oh, it's Valium. I was going to say Diazepam.

But yeah, she... He was 68. She was 40. That was his third marriage. He's a good dude, though. We had him on the show. On this day in the year 2000. Oh!

Okay, this is the one. So I looked into this a little more today just to remember it. On this day, Michael Irvin was arrested on a Class B misdemeanor of possession of less than two ounces of marijuana. This is the one where they were going after some lady for dealing heroin or something. And so they busted into her apartment. And Michael Irvin is sitting on the couch naked. Yeah. And they searched the apartment and they found what,

and Michael Irvin gave this quote to the press or the police or something. He said, it's what you call a roach. So it was just the barely end. And I guess, though, that's the Class B misdemeanor, at least at the time, was anything under two ounces. And two ounces is a lot. I've always been a little thrown off by the – So even the tiniest little bit.

When they start to decriminalize, the numbers they always turn in, I'm like, you sure about that? That's a pretty... It feels like a dealer amount. Yeah. But two ounces sounds small. Two big giant bags of pot. I don't even know the ounce game anymore.

O.Z. Yeah, for sure. Now, like, Michael Irvin's saying that that's a thing that needed OZ Yeah for sure Yeah bro Now like Michael Irvin saying that That's a thing that needed clarification Most people A lot of people Don't know what a roach is

Yes They all know what an earlobe is Yeah As they say The lobe Yeah But I think this is the one That might have got him

Knocked off of The NFL network at the time Or Fox Sports Fox Sports yeah Yeah But I think this is the one that might have got him knocked off of the NFL network at the time or Fox Sports. Fox Sports, yeah. See the Cowboys trade? What do you got for me? Trading Nashawn Wright for Andrew Booth. It's like cornerback for cornerback swap with the Vikings.

Yeah, the Nashawn Wright thing was failed from day one. Just because he's really tall? No. Well, first of all, they drafted him because of Dan Quinn and the fact that he wanted really tall corners. But second of all, I've done this before, or maybe I've read other people that have done it. If you just went by the aggregate draft boards every year,

like PFF and then all the other good ones, and then had a consensus board, it's like 90% right on who's going to turn out. When they drafted Deshaun Wright at the end of the third round, I think Dane Brugler had him listed as a seventh from the athletic. The guy's never been on the field, practically. Booth was a second-round pick. He is very tall in person, though.

Back to you. So second- round disappointment for third round disappointment. Yeah. They did this with Kelvin Joffs, Boss Man Fat.

Wait. They traded him? Oh yeah. He's been gone. Last year for the cornerback from Penn State whose name nobody can say.

Yeah. But who did return the kick against the Giants in week one. On this day in 2011, polygamist leader Warren Jeffs was sentenced in San Angelo, Texas, to life in prison for sexually assaulting one of his child brides. She was probably the only one. Yeah.

And then got the maximum 20-year punishment for a separate child sex conviction. Dude, I don't know if you guys know about this. Like, it's primarily from TikTok and Instagram. It would take me way too long to try to explain the whole thing, and I'm not really the guy anyways. TC's all over this. But there were these Mormon – there's a community of mormon couples probably about my age maybe a little bit younger obviously in utah and they're all really

hot um and they're really into the internet and there was one lady in particular who would her account got really big and she would just post fun mom stuff and here's my family and we're the mormon family and she would try to, you know, pimp products and stuff. This is a whole economy, right? You know,

right. It's folks. So there were a couple of them, a couple of different groups of them. And at one point, I can't remember the order in which things happening, but they would have, uh,

what they called like, it might've been like soft hookups or something. Where like five couples would go to a house. A big house for the weekend. And they would swing and stop just short of sex. And you had to know who was with who. You couldn't hide anything. But you were not allowed to have sex. Until one woman.

The biggest one. fame-wise, she actually did have sex with another husband and tried to hide it. And this blew up on TikTok and Instagram. She has hundreds of thousands of followers. Were you allowed to have Clinton sex? Were you just put a cigar on somebody or oral? Oral. I think so.

Okay. Well, then she tried to go all the way. If you were pitching me. And she didn't disclose it. Oh. So she didn't. Double. I know.

So this became very public because she was mom, wife, lady on Instagram. And this all came out. Makes it so much hotter. She lost. The dad, I believe, got custody of the kids. This whole thing blew open. Makes her hotter even. Because now the woman whose husband had sex with her is now on her own social media account being like, this bitch.

Actually, she didn't say that because she's Mormon, but it was clear. Now, I say all this to say, they have a reality show coming up on Hulu. Let's do it. It's like eight Mormon women who are all very, very attractive, and they're going to show you their life of soft swinging, I think is what they call it. Yeah, that's what I was about to say. I love that they call it soft swinging. Yeah, okay. I'll be on that wall for you.

Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. On this day in 2014, Michael Brown Jr., a black 18-year-old, was shot to death by police following an altercation in Ferguson, Missouri. His death led to sometimes violent protests in Ferguson and other U.S. cities, spawning the national Black Lives Matter movement.

That was wild, man. Do you remember? You were probably asleep, but I remember staying up pretty much all night watching the city just burn to the ground on CNN. Never seen anything like it. Fights and gunshots and fire. It was wild.

But everything's cool now, though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cool. Hey, man. Birthday. Birthday's Deion Sanders is 57. Wow. Darts only. Crime. Brett Sanders is 57. Wow. Darts only.

Crime. Brett Hall is 60. What was this thing? We can't go anymore because we've already gone. Yeah, because there was yelling, let's go. And he's like, we don't have to go anymore because we already did it. I was like, yeah, it's true. No more let's go.

Other than to bed for you, Brett. That was a great period of history when he was the GM of the Dallas Stars. God, dude. He's on the golf course every day. Jim Nils is working an 80-hour week. Dude, from what I could tell, his main feature, his thing was... And it's also because we were on a Stars trip once, and they would have two buses for the media.

So they had the players' bus, and it leaves like three hours before the game. And then they had two buses, and maybe two because Brett Hull didn't want to go as early as the one bus. So one media bus left early with Heike and the serious people and then the last media bus like me would leave late. And Hull was on that one.

And he was very concerned that the music be on a classic rock station. Because it was like on hip hop or something. And he would have none of that. That's his prep. He's not thinking about the game. He's like, where's Bob Seger? Yeah.

And if you know like Doug Armstrong or whoever else, you've seen other GMs like this who get real tense during these games. Not him. No. He was so fun. He's a vibes guy. Well, I think his job right before that. Ambassador of fun. The title was ambassador of fun.

He was hired by the stars to just be a guy who would hang out at the arena. I kind of feel like that's Julie for us right now. She's the ambassador of fun? Ambassador of fun. What was Christy's job? She was telling us. Christy Scales? Yeah. Elevator thing. Oh, yeah. ambassador of fun what was christy's job she's telling us christy scales yeah oh yeah but her department was something to do with fun yeah yeah fun and whatever we just we need a department of fun yeah i gotta be honest yeah this is mundane if the position is open mad

is in charge yeah remember you yeah you said that i needed to be in charge but I don't have fun at anything. That's true. You're not a candidate. And you're definitely not a candidate. No. I don't want to have fun. That's why you should stay home tomorrow. Go down to the beach. Former... Oh, wait. Cliff Kingsbury, 45.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. USC? USC, I think, right? Still? No. I think the most viewed tweet in Arizona Cardinals history. F me, dude.

DQ hired him. Remember? No. Yeah, yeah. He's in the division. Really? That's great. And we were just talking about Kellen Moore.

We forgot about Kellen Moore's in the division. Oh, that's true, yeah. He's the Eagles OC. Mm-hmm. Wow, he's the Reds or Washington? Mm-hmm. Nice. This is going to be a wild year, man.

This is going to be a big year, guys. Yeah. Former Maverick Derek Fisher is 50. I mean, honestly, we're joking, but it is really weird that the best running back in the game, whether you think he's worth the money or not, just was traded intra-division or signed intra-division. It's giant. I know. I think he's great.

And then you got DQ moving from one team to another, same division. It's cool. NFC Beast? Do we fear Philly this year just because? You fear Philly every year. Well, they were like 10-1 last year, and then that was all fool's gold, right? Yeah, but they're still a good team. We'll talk about it Monday, maybe.

What if I don't want to? I don't know. Then I guess we won't. I'm going to go get a hot dog. I don't really care that much. Good hot dog. Yeah. Former really care that much. Good hot dog. Yeah. Former Cowboy Matt Moore is 40.

The Aussie punter? No, he was backup quarterback. Matt McBriar. Damn it. Matt Moore. They wondered if he'd be like the next Romo type thing. I saw him. I paid a lot of money to go to Arrowhead.

Oh, yeah. So I could see Matt Moore start against Aaron Rodgers and the Packers. Former Ranger Mike Lamb is 49. Boy, that's a name I haven't heard in years. Pat, not Rick. Pat Mahomes is 54. The dad. Yeah, he's got hot opinions.

Is he out? Out of what? Didn't go to jail for a DUI months ago? You don't go to prison for a DUI. This is not China. Just asking. I'll let you out the next day. Just asking.

Is he out? Kevin Mack is 62. Do you know who that is? No. You? Oh, Browns? He was a Browns running back. Okay, I see.

Yeah. I did. Yeah. Of the dynasty years for me when they went to the AFC Championship game like three years in a row. Next time you ask me a question, can I Google it and seem smart when I know the answer? Oh, I didn't.

He was Googling it? Okay. Well, I saw running back, and then I did remember. It didn't say Browns, but once you said that, yeah, because that's a great football name. So I definitely remembered him. However, it's very rich of you to be like, oh, self-deprecating three conference championships appearances.

What do I got? What do you mean? You got Super Bowls. I was seven. I was eight. I remember them. That doesn't count. Okay, so you're saying my Browns fandom has been more fruitful than your Cowboys fandom.

I think that's undeniable. Like I was 6, 7, and 8. Because I was in high school. Or 5, 6, and 8. Yeah. Or something like that. The last one I was either 9 or 10. But anyways, I'm almost to 30 years.

This story changes so often. Well, what's funny about this. Just like how old the Jerry Papa John's thing is. He also was a Clemson running back. I didn't know that until this morning. But he was one of the backfield of Ernest Biner and Kevin Mack. They both rushed for over 1,000 yards one year. Neat.

Jamarcus Russell is 39. Man. Do you think he was the next one? I thought he'd be awesome. He would throw like 80 yards from his knee. Yeah. I'm like, what if he could just do that in games? Once he's in a game, he's on two feet.

He looks... Now he's all fat. Yeah. That's a sad story. Did he roll through all his money? I think so. Like, did he get in under the... He got a fat signing bonus. He got a huge deal. Like the old... Like, is he one of the reasons that they changed the whole rookie scale? Yeah.

And then he burned through it all? I'm pretty sure. Anna Kendrick is 39. I love her. So I thought, I looked at her and I'm like, oh, yeah, she's cute. She was in Hot Rod. She's not the girl in Hot Rod. Do you know who the girl in Hot Rod is?

Isla Fisher? Do you feel like she looks just like her? No. Is Isla Fisher Borat's wife? Yes. Okay, then I know her. I thought they looked the same. They just both have kind of reddish hair.

All right, sorry. Anna Kendrick was Pitch Perfect. I'm sorry, what? Anna Kendrick was one of the main characters in Pitch Perfect. What is Pitch Perfect? Isn't that the one he was saying is better than Goodfellas or something? What was the debate we were having? I'm done with today.

We're having a debate about something. Some movie in Pitch Perfect. No, I was saying I Love You Man is better than Dazed and Confused. Yeah, that's the one we've been hitting. But he also probably does think Pitch Perfect is better than Goodfellas. Goodfellas or The Godfather. Wait, have you seen Goodfellas? Or am I going to kick your ass?

I wish you would. He needs it. Do you want me to watch it tomorrow? Yes. Want to watch it together? All right, I just got to win. So, no, let's not watch it together. You're going to be telling me about each scene.

You know, they actually filmed this. You know, this shot where they walk into the back of the restaurant, that's all one shot, one camera. Can we edit all of the cowboy interviews like they did Nick Saban where I just say, yeah, it was a commercial that they did 12 years ago. So you guys will shut the fuck up. Why, did you just research it? Yeah, because I'm not interested in what you guys are doing right now.

That was five minutes ago. Man, he's so sensitive now. Are you now a can't-take-criticism guy? Now? I always have been, right? No. Just in the past minute. Just read us something that happened. Jillian Anderson is 56.

She's pretty great. She's pretty great, but I think I confuse her a lot with... Anna Kendrick? No, but it's the same type of deal. Julianne Moore. Okay. Reddish hair. Yeah.

Kind of palish, but attractive. I don't like Julianne Moore, man. Not a fan. What? She ruined Boogie Nights for me. She was great in Boogie Nights. Everyone delivered a career-making performance. She just seems really creepy to me.

I love it. Hoda Kotb is 60. What do you think of that? Not a fan. But I do know that she once tried to rename the University of Texas' mascot. Oh, is she beefy? Mm-hmm. I can probably find it.

Yeah, I'd like to hear that. Yeah. Bill Skarsgård is... What? What is this? Pull me up. Things got a little heated during a meeting of the mascots ahead of Tuesday's Sugar Bowl game in New Orleans. At a pregame photo op, the Texas Longhorns mascot, Beefy,

suddenly broke through some barriers and charged right at the Georgia Bulldog. Everybody scattered. The handlers had to pull the spear back. Oh, man. Beefy. It'd be like naming a horse, like, glue or something. Like, isn't that what they make you do with dead horses? Beefy.

Bill Skarsgård is 34. He is the clown in It. Are they all related? They have to be, or is that just like a common name over there? They're all related? I don't know, man. Like Alexander? You know.

No, no. I know who you're referring to. The guy that was on Succession, right? Yes. And Generation Kill. And Vampire Show. Sam Elliott is 80. Dude, he's awesome.

He is. I hope he's awesome. He is. I hope he's doing all right. You know what you should do this weekend and come back with a report? I thought I was supposed to do nothing. Watch The Big Lebowski. Oh, interesting. You're in California. Is it filmed in California?

Yeah. Did I just say something weird? It's an L.A.-based thing, and Sam Elliott's in it. All right, I'll get on that. Ken Norton Sr. Oh, wait. These are born on this day, now dead. What the fuck?

I was just so quick to try and be a smartass to you. I missed that. Oh, man. I got to go to the bathroom, guys. I do, too. We've been going almost three hours. Ken Norton Sr., born on this day, now dead. Didn't he used to do the, like, punch in the goalpost thing,

or was that only Junior? Because he was a boxer, right? He was the boxer, yes. He didn't play ball at all? No, I think he did, but I'm not – actually, right now I have zero idea. Okay, I knew he was a boxer, but I also didn't know if he also played football at some point. But I used to remember Ken Norton Jr. doing the shadow boxing. Did he do that because of his dad?

I think so, and I thought that was awesome. Was his dad a cowboy and then went boxing and then became a cowboy again? I don't know. No one really knows. No, I don't think so. No. Whitney Houston, born on this day, now dead. No football for a senior.

Okay, he was just a boxer? Yeah, I think so. I mean, he was a football player in high school, but I don't think he ever played professionally. He boxed Muhammad Ali, right? I think so, yeah. What was the last one you just did? Whitney Houston.

Whitney Houston. Fetching. Yeah. Because she was so addicted to pills, which I guess I didn't know this probably until her story, because I was never a pill guy, that if you take enough pills, pain pills and stuff like that, you get really constipated and you can't get the doo-doo out. So Bobby would literally physically open her uh a noose up and try to get the poop out is that so shocking that you killed the bed or no the bed ran out

oh maybe that means we're done yeah maybe here let me just jump up ahead would you do that for me no fetch no no matter what would you even if like you were about to die i bet matt would we're done. Yeah, maybe. Would you do that for me? No. Fetch? No. No matter what. Would you? Even if you were about to die. I bet Matt would. I bet he would. He's awesome. I'd do it for either one of you. Even if you weren't constipated. No, thank you. And Hot Rod Williams.

Was he on the Hawks? He's on the Mavs He started as a Cav Nets maybe? And Tulane Oh interesting He was a Cav and a Mav This is what I'm going to use

I'll fetch with this Bend over Blake He was also the guy that would not squeeze my wacky horn When I went to the locker room With Mike Reiner once after a Mavs game Now he's dead Did he Trayvon you? squeeze my wacky horn when I went to the locker room with Mike Reiner once after a Mavs game. Now he's dead. Hey, Trayvon, do you? Dead on the stay still dead. Trayvon does not want to

talk to anyone. We gave it a try. Yeah, and he just... Not a word. Not a no, just a mmm. Yeah. Died on the stay still dead. We have Frank Gifford. We have Jerry Garcia. And we have Bernie Mac.

Were you a Bernie Mac guy? Hell yeah. Okay. Yeah, I mean, for me... I thought I knew that. I mean, the Kings of Comedy, the one that they did with D.L. Hughley, Steve Harvey, Cedric the Entertainer, and Bernie Mac is, to me, like the funniest thing ever committed to video. I think I need to do some Steve Harvey stand-up.

Dude. Because he's awesome on Family Feud. Family Feud. He's the best. Like, he's hilarious. He's like the emcee. So the way they do it is he's the first one out there and he does maybe 15 and then

everybody else gets a 30-40 minute set but in between each one Steve Harvey does 15 because he's the most like host-ish of them you know but Bernie Mac absolutely killed that his show was funny too now he's dead now he

I prefer my comedians who don't die. And that was Today in History. You guys going to be nice to me now? Yeah, man. I think we're going to have a great... Why are you so soft now? I wish you a great weekend. Okay, the cowboy video came out 12 years ago.

If anybody else has some great bits they want to bring to the table, now's the time. Well, we don't have that. All right. Adios, mofo. We've got to go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video.

When I'm at Cowboy Stadium or sitting at home and I hear Papa John's Pizza for Jerry Jones, for my name if you want to watch more of my video. Five star combo for $10.99. Papa John's large with up to five toppings and a two liter Pepsi. People are swallowing because there's no better value. Y'all catch my ride. Cowboys five-star combo for $10.99.