The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 9-10-25 | The Dumb Zone Day at the Ballpark with Dave Raymond, Jared Sandler, and Sarah Hepola
Episode Date: September 11, 2025Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to the show at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneWe're live from The Dumb Zone Day at the Ballpark! Dave Raymond and Jared Sandler join... the show on their way into the park. Then Sarah Hepola joins for the second half of the show to get into pedal pumping and kittens with darts in their eyesThis month, get 50% OFF ALL WINDOW STYLES! Put zero down, make zero payments, and pay zero interest for two years and you could pay nothing until 2027! Schedule a fast, free estimate now with Window Nation at 866-90-NATION or visit windownation.com! Make sure you mention The Dumb Zone! (00:00) - Open: With Dave Raymond and Jared Sandler (37:19) - Sports: Football with Jared (59:18) - Cowboys: Opps with Schaudio (01:23:36) - Viewer Mail with Sarah Hepola (02:03:45) - News: A kitten with a dart in its face (02:27:17) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Transcript
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Hello, I'm DFWZone, Danny Bayless, letting you know that you are about to hear a free podcast of the DumbZone.
But if you'd like to subscribe at DumbZone.com, you will get four shows per week plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus epies like our Business Wednesday interviews.
Oh, you'll also get our DZTV archives. Again, that's Dumbzone.com to subscribe.
Now, on to today's program.
Our pros are the nicest.
We've got the best prices at Flooring Direct.
Hey, that's solid right there.
Flooring Direct, Dan, Flooring Direct, DFW.com slash DZ.
We're out here at a hotel adjacent to the ballpark doing our show today.
It's a nice hotel.
They've been very hospitable to us, but these floors are trash.
Yeah.
This is just old-timey garbage floors,
not the sort of styles you're going to get.
when flooring direct comes directly to you what if we called them had them come out give us a
free consultation kind of look at these floors and we actually just paid for this conference
room to be different i would do that with flooring direct the deals are that good they are yeah
what if someone else came in here and tried to beat that offer uh they would then match that offer
match it or beat it yeah they can hey i'm fresh out of cash though you know until like it's free
until they're, you know, paying you to put their floor.
That's almost what they're doing, Dan,
because they got 36 months, zero interest, financing, nothing down.
Do not wait.
This back-to-school offer will not last.
They are not letting kids into schools until their floors are replaced.
Or out of schools.
Or out of schools.
Because they're back at school.
Right.
And you don't want them to come back home to some old dirt floor
or whatever you got going there, right?
I shudder at the thought.
Well, got a flowing direct.
It's FFW.com slash DZ.
Our pros are the nicest.
We've got the best prices at Foring Direct.
Yeah.
Hello, friends are all right, oh, right, on Wednesday.
Why are we doing a show on business Wednesday?
Getaway day.
Because your brewers are in town.
Truck day.
The brewer are in town.
Boy, really not what they were expecting, is it?
Little rascals.
Get smacked in the face.
Some Rangers fans are about to get lucky tonight.
You don't want to mess with M. Hellman when he's hot.
Find out.
M. Helman, New Ranger.
Find out.
It's very exciting.
Had a conversation with the guy in the elevator on the way up.
Because he saw my Ranger jersey.
So he's like, hey, did they win last night?
We're across the street from the ballpark.
And luckily, I was well prepared for this show, and I said, yes.
What was the score?
Like, this guy's now, I'm like, what else is he going to ask me?
Am I going to have to tell him the player of the game and maybe give a rundown for Mr. Hat?
Well, yeah, why stop with sports?
I gave him the score.
Hey, what was in the birthday book?
Just get a phone.
Leave me alone.
He goes, yeah.
Yeah, then he proceeded to tell me how he's from Charlotte,
and now he's a Rangers fan,
and they went to game one in the first game.
Yeah, I don't know how this happened to me.
This is how they should let seniors execute themselves.
Giving talk to me?
Jersey gives talk to me.
That's the problem.
As cool as I think jerseys are, jerseys give talk to me.
And the black undershirt, you know.
What is blue?
Is it?
It's kind of blue.
I wear my blue shoes to match everything.
I thought you guys would be so impressed with me today
and then right away, right away.
This guy with that dirty cable that he plugs his computer into
is going to start criticizing me.
No, you look good.
You're giving small talk.
Yeah.
So we are at the Lowe's Hotel that's across the street, not the Lowe's live.
We talked to a, yeah.
Why are there two hotels called Lowe's right here?
We talked to a hotel employee that said.
I'm going to go on.
We're the Lawn and Garden Suite.
We're not live by Lowe's.
We're the Lowe's Hotel.
Okay.
But you could also get a room over there.
We're the recorded Lowe's.
Don't be an idiot.
Anyway, we're at the Lowe's Hotel.
We're crossing the ballpark.
We're actually starting to show at 10 a.m. today because we are hosting the Dumb Zone Day at the ballpark for year number two.
You were not at year number one.
No, I was not.
And you were sorely, sorely missed.
I don't even know that he wasn't there.
Do you remember that?
I had a great time.
It was definitely one of the things that when I got out and I asked about,
I'm like, man, it must have just been every other person asking you about it.
Blake's like, no.
They were just happy to.
I'm like, yeah, but, you know, I didn't get the sports scores.
The Rangers must have been really fighting for a playoff spot that was a hotly content.
No?
I think they almost got no hit that day.
Yeah, they did.
They did.
Blue Chase?
I don't remember.
Yes.
Well, that's what I remember of it.
Anyway, that was year two.
This is year two.
That was year one.
And year one, we didn't have any bit attached to it.
So you have brought Bit, suggestion at least.
And I followed up.
So the Rangers only allow, they allow you to bring food into the ballpark.
But because we live in a Big Brother world now that's got.
to be like in a clear plastic bag and it's quart-sized which is not as big as you think
I thought it would be bigger anyway I brought a quart of food I wanted to show you
oh please it is salmon I mean what do you what do you think he got you think he's
has some pop popcorn shrimp in there broccoli yes it is a salmon and rice salmon broccoli and rice
stuffed into this court bag
and you have your little heater
I don't have the heater
to keep it cool
I'll probably just eat at room temperature
unless I can find a microwave here at the hotel
yeah I'm sure they've got one
you guys want to get a room
do it real quick after the show
I have a crock pot in my car
and a huge thing of soup
so we'll figure out maybe in the break
just at least so you brought a bag of soup
well I brought several bags
And then I bought...
You actually brought a crock pot?
Yeah.
And a huge vat of soup.
But, yeah, I figured we'll work that out in the break.
I wanted Clayton and Blake to have lunch.
No time for that garbage right now, though, because joining us, we have Rangers royalty.
We have Dave Raymond and his rival, Jared Sandbrice.
Yay, Dave.
Wow, got the people going.
Literally reading it off a list.
They've got Dave Raymond.
That's right.
I had to make sure who it was.
Anyway, yeah, we're doing the, we're bringing,
we all brought food to the ballpark.
I brought this.
Hopefully we'll have,
that is salmon and broccoli and rice.
What else you're going to eat for lunch?
Is that for meaties?
Yes.
That was chef craft.
There you go.
That's what I know.
Yeah.
So, do you know he's, it's like 99.8%?
consistency with lunch items.
It's the same every day.
If there's lunch, I'm going to be eating salmon and broccoli and rice.
Every single day.
Okay.
We're just trying to stay regular?
I mean, I don't want to get too personal, but.
You know, we got a time.
We got a schedule worked out.
We got our daily visitor.
2.30 meeting?
Dave Raymond, last time.
I don't know if it was last time I saw you, but you had told me you're into the healthy eating
a little bit too.
I do like to help you.
You show me a documentary.
What was that?
God, yeah, what was that?
It was like just about not eating bad stuff
and I watched it and it just frightened
me to eat anything in the world.
It wasn't the Brian Johnson guy
who's trying to live to be 120 in measures
and his son's boners.
Well, there was a boner measurement
in this one, yeah.
They had some guys eating meat
and then they had other guys
just going straight vegetarian
and then maybe there was a control group
something and they did blood flow at night i don't know if they measured the fully
right presented where where the blood would flow but yeah right but the bottom line is the blood
flows a lot better right and literally overnight so in other words take your diet whatever it is
and let's say tonight you just go or today all vegetarian and and whatnot you will that evening your
blood cleans up that much.
It's kind of like a little gleam in his eye.
Are you vegetarian?
I'm not.
I did it for a while.
Or you just tried to...
I did it for a while.
I got off the animal protein thing, right?
Okay.
And I will tell you, like they talk about the...
That documentary was all about the inflammation, right?
The breaking down the hind protein and all that stuff and it, you know, creates inflammation
in the body.
I have this saying on my side from a lot of golf, I think, but like the intercostals and whatnot.
and they're always sore.
Man, it was like, gone.
Within days.
Yeah.
Within days.
It's back now because I eat all sorts of trash.
Jake just decided to quit golf.
That was more easier.
Yeah.
Keep eating what you eat.
Do you find it offensive at all when someone, you're like,
hey, I eat healthy.
Dan's like, boy, I was shocked to learn Dave Raymond.
Yeah.
He's healthy.
It's not showing up on the outside at all.
No, I just see.
Dave Raymond just seems like a guy that,
wouldn't suggest that documentary to me.
Seems like he suggests some wackiness,
something, some bits.
Something of the,
this was a very serious documentary.
You know why?
Because I care about your health.
And frankly,
there's a small part of me.
Kind of loves you.
Okay.
Small part.
That is very sweet.
I'm still confused about this boner thing.
So like the quicker it's a delicate conversation.
He has wieners.
Well, yeah.
So there's a, yeah.
Yeah, no, I think there's a,
a guy, Brian Johnson. He's the guy who's trying to live forever. He's a tech billionaire. He's
dumped a bunch of money into it. And his son is in the protocol, too. He's reverse aging.
And one of the things that they measure is your boner activity, I believe, is what the
scientists call it at night to show, I guess the younger, the more virile you are, the more active.
Like while you're sleeping, you're... Yeah. So at night, and I don't get into your business.
But at night, Jared, you probably have...
have, I don't know, I can't remember the, but like in the neighborhood of 20 erections over the
course of the evening. Are you serious? Absolutely. That's in that documentary. Oh, man, that's amazing.
It tells you that. There's a, you have a, you have a lot of few. You have to make sure someone else
knows about that. Yeah, it says, healthy, healthy would be three to five hours of episodes
cumulatively per night. Yeah, you actually have two to three nocturnal emissions every night.
Well, no one really knows that. Yeah. Yeah. Eight spiders somehow are involved that you consume.
You had that myth growing up, right?
Everybody eats like eight spiders a year sleeping or something.
I never heard that.
I never heard that.
But I could believe it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I believe it was actually a fact created by someone to test whether or not people would believe anything.
Like a researcher.
50% of people did.
Me for 30 years.
Yeah.
I'm like, fuck spiders.
That must be why I'm sick.
So do you guys love a nice 135 game?
I do.
Especially on the get-away.
I always love them.
Yeah.
Any day.
They'll all at me any day.
Get me a day game.
For a couple of reasons, baseball is meant to be played in the day.
That's right.
That's the way God invented it.
Yeah.
And it's not a terrible thing to have to go home and be with your family or have dinner.
Go out on the road, go out and get dinner and watch this guy eat ice cream.
I'm trying to see if there's a container big enough in here.
Jared, a big eater?
He's lactose intolerant.
So he takes a pill.
We go out to dinner.
It's like, oh, I'll take my pill.
He's got a magic pill
That allows him to just circumvent this actual health issue
And then he will crush it
Dang
But then I won't have dairy for like five days
But like I can
And I'm not going to act like I go home
Go to sleep and it's just the smoothest night at all times
But I love I found out last, was it last spring
Last spring we were eating
We had a rare Thursday off
It was the first Thursday of March Madness.
We don't, like, we miss a lot of fun sporting events.
So I went ape crap at this one nearby, like, sports bar.
And Dave, I think you played golf in the morning.
And then he came and joined, and we're just, just gorging food.
And then Dave decides, like, I want to order this dessert pizza.
I don't remember what it was, but there was ice cream on top.
Yeah.
I think I'd had two pizzas already because I'll crush pizza.
I think we could go toe to toe here.
sure uh and uh that seemed very dismissive of you i don't appreciate it i will kick your ass uh and
and then all of a sudden i'm i'm like sweating and i go up i go outside i go for a walk i try to
like nothing i'm sitting down and like dave looks like are you okay well i didn't know i had never
been diagnosed as lactose intolerant i wasn't something that was a problem earlier because i've
always crushed dairy but i went back to the hotel i i was struggling to breathe for hours and then i got
tested it i guess my esophagus swells up when i have like more than just a little bit of dairy so
and then you got like an iud for for dairy so you can just yeah take it before you go out
so rather than avoid dairy just yeah i pick my dental dam okay but we don't on off nights like
when we have a dave's right like it there's some teams they play a lot of saturday day games we are
not one of them we we don't play many at all but when we go on the road and we have a saturday day
game that's like at an hour where we can go get dinner we take advantage of that and like that's
like a night where it's yeah let's let's have a nice meal and afterwards if there's a nearby
ice cream shop or if there's not we'll go out of our way and walk a long way to it i see a lot of
flavors i want to try i'm not going to be back in the city for another year get the itemized
receipt and turn it in yeah we get per diem i may as well you know i don't need a dude it's great
yeah if you think about it your boss may reject a shot or two but he's not going to reject some
mixings.
Yeah.
Get a little mixing in there on top.
So if I, there are three flavors I want to try, or maybe four, I'll ask to try one
of them, so I just get a little taste, and then the other three will be in the cup.
I don't like taste guy.
I don't.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
You know who else is?
My six-year-old, and that's where I draw the line.
No, what you do it?
You know what it tastes like.
Right.
No, no.
Some of these are unique flavors.
And if it goes poorly, oh, no, the sunk cause.
Just get another scoop.
Throw that one.
Yeah, but it's like the mini soda.
Maybe you just want a bite or two.
Yeah, I don't want all the...
No, but you're ripping them off then.
Interesting, I love the mini soda, by the way, Blake.
It's the perfect amount.
It is absolutely ideal.
Life changer.
I love that thing.
I do like a mini soda.
The mini water, I don't want to spike on the ground.
I don't like that at all.
You know what I hate when you go to a restaurant?
Like, it's usually an order at the counter and sit down, and you want water,
and they give you, like, the really tiny cup of water.
Yeah.
Or you could go fill it up, but like...
I'm going to drink a quart of water here.
It's because my dad.
It's because my dad's going and getting the tea.
Like, do you think that I want to make, you know, what would I feel, let's say I did steal a soda?
What's that going to do to your bottom line here?
Just give me the goddamn water.
So these guys are sick of hearing about it, but you got to get the, I got the Ninja Creamy.
I got the home made ice cream.
Oh, yeah.
Like Father's Day.
Okay.
It's incredible.
It's incredible.
Just dream big, dude.
It's really not.
It's really not.
It's really not.
It's really not.
gave me a very simple recipe
and yeah man
you can dream big
so you don't have to go try every single flavor
I'm sure the people there love you
I try one flavor
that is not true bullshit
you're a volume flavor
you try flavors too
don't act like you've never tried
I don't have the occasional flavor but you are like
you are a volume shooter
and it's like I can get literally
a free scoop of
some hybrid ice cream here by just taking
one of them not that far away from the
Jared Road ice cream TikTok account.
Maybe.
Oh my gosh.
He's built for it.
I think I'd follow that.
Do you do, you put on the show where you're like, um, kind of between.
Yeah, yeah.
Can I try this one just a little bit?
When I was younger, I would.
Now I just don't.
Zero F's given.
I just go back to the, uh, can I try that again?
Yeah.
Can I keep trying that?
What did you guys make of the, uh, the Karen on the loose and the stands in my age?
Oh, we're on the way over.
We're like, it's coming up.
it's coming up.
Yeah, I mean, I guess I saw the Marlins broadcast side of things,
and I thought they handled it pretty well.
And the, what's the silly baseball team?
The Savannah Bananas did a parody of that, of course.
Of course they did they.
Like right away.
I was surprised.
Well, I guess Phillies wouldn't do that.
Usually the Philly fanatic will reenact something they did with the cold play.
Yeah.
It's unfortunate, right?
Unfortunate for that gal.
Look, in this cancel culture time, like, man,
people are looking to pounce.
She's getting crushed.
I don't know who she is.
I mean...
I haven't seen.
Well, I've seen stuff,
and I don't know if it's fake or real,
but I've seen that she got fired.
I've seen that she got suspended.
It's probably all fake.
But like, even if it is fake,
just the fact that there's someone out there
who thinks that that happened.
Like, imagine people in her circle,
they're like, they're not sure.
Did she this or that?
What's ridiculous is that there are people,
clearly,
involved in this miles and miles away who are kind of working themselves up into a bit of a
froth yeah you know what i mean like it's not yeah there are people who have managed to make this
an issue in their own lives i'm just so pissed well tc our friend tc makes the point all the time
that just with technology with with internet and such there's just way too many things you know about
to get upset about that you just shouldn't know about right you should never even know this
That was happening once a day at any ballpark.
But now you're thinking about what would you do in that situation type thing,
and that's why people get worked up about it.
Yeah, I'd kick her ass.
You probably would.
No, see, what I was thinking is I feel like we're just victim blaming Central on this show.
But I was playing the tape back and thinking,
am I going that hard for a ball if I'm the dad?
Like a ball that clearly is one that's going to take a little bit of a...
It was at her feet.
she might have had
Well, what I'm saying is
if the ball's not hit to me
Right
I think I'm going to like
As soon as I start to do that
I'm going to think
This what am I
How's this going to go?
I'm going to beat somebody?
I know.
Well, there's your force field
Well, if there's not a kid involved
But how do you know they don't have a kid?
Now we're back to this.
I am big on that.
I think what you said is huge.
I do think that a lot of times adults
Like if my dad was at a game
when I was younger
and I wasn't there
and I you know dad hey if you get a ball you bring me a ball like that's a tough spot what if he gets
a ball and there's a kid two seats over I know there's no but his kids I'm not there so I do I do
leave a little wiggle room for the adult who does want to keep the ball the possibility that
he's bringing it home to like his kid who just is dreaming of getting a baseball yes and I am now
looking at this with 72 hours of hindsight but the more I thought about it the only move is you tell your
kid didn't get hit towards me and you just lie and you move on and that's it because the
second you lurch towards a baseball like I'm getting this motherfucker like what if there's five people
that show up what if there's five kids there's very few outcomes there that are good for you it's true
very few and why do we give things to kids they have their whole life to to get a ball that I have to
give it to this kid like that's a hundred percent just that Dan never got a ball yeah that guy might
have been going to, I went to games my whole life, I would bring my mitt, I never got near
a ball. Now if I'm 50 and there's a ball near me, like that, that's, I know that's my last
chance. I've never been this close to a ball at all. That is not a guy I want to defend.
That's, you should defend me. Now, I read that her kid couldn't go to the game because, uh, he was
in Cook's Children's Hospital. Um, yeah, kind of on his last, you know, there you go, America. Yeah. By the
the way this episode should be named dan mcdow wants to be near balls i do yeah and he wants to know
more about uh penises i was never taught as is uh hey is this a gay not gay somebody sent this in
it says a gay not gay jared sandler edition oh no let me hand this to you guys uh i've been a i've been
a subject of gay not hand it to dave raymond not to jared let's see
collared shirt under a what is it
why is Brad Miller not
being I mean we're both doing the same thing
well he does everything you do have any World Series rings you'd like to
I do oh damn it
forgot about that wow
Will Baker you should include Brad Miller
yeah but that's a fair question
is it okay Jersey with jeans
Jersey tucked into jeans
No, you're not tucking anything really into jeans
Nothing?
Never?
I wouldn't.
Okay.
But sports, there's a lot going on there, right?
Like, what shirts are those?
The celebration?
Well, this was after the floods, July 4th.
Huh?
And these shirts.
Sports field.
These shirts were for that.
The Lone Star Series, the two teams that combined to donate money, raise awareness.
But you think they kind of.
clash from a fan point i'm i'm just saying it's uh thursday we do or it's wednesday show but
we're doing our thursday show anyway it's viewer mail day and i just wanted to bring that up and
um my lawyer's speaking for me well yeah no i think he did a good job there on the force field it is
what it is will but maybe some contact hey what's so what do you got what's your schedule like
i got to go actually i got to go when what's the bogey thing oh
Is there you going to do?
Which is like 11, but I hate MLB Network.
Oh.
MLB Central from the ballpark cam.
It's been me and Lauren Shahati.
Oh, look at you.
And DeRosa.
I don't care.
Are you going to?
Nelson de la Rosa?
Okay.
Mark.
Oh.
You guys know who Nelson De La Rosa is?
I do.
I do.
He was a friend of a Hall of Fame pitcher.
It's Pedro's Midget.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Wow.
That's a pretty good, obscure fact that you've really committed to.
And you got Jared.
Oh, she's.
See, now I thought it was having fun.
We joke about Jared, no?
Yeah, that's fun.
You do.
Dave loves it.
It's fun.
It's fun to tease Jared.
Yeah.
It's like the team mascot.
I get, I'm always the butt of the joke.
Did you, have you guys seen his mariachi bit?
Yes.
That was great, right?
Yes.
I really, that was my, that was my friend.
yeah we're uh was that fun you know what's so fun is that he's like he made all this money
he could be too cool for all this stuff he like is a kid just living his best life i mean
yesterday we're watching the game and we're in the booth uh and he's like going ape shit when
michael helman hits a home run like to tie the game just like any other big fan i i just i find
that so refreshing he could be yeah no yeah all right
remember i mean i've i've been to my world series whatever like my favorite compilation videos are
when you see the him and uh beltre beltre him messing with beltre over the years just he's the
like he is honestly the same person he wants to have fun he loves like the team aspect he'll
he's walking along the concourse in a mariachi outfit amongst all these fans and just like
loving it he doesn't i don't need a security i don't need any of that stuff he i don't know i just
I find it so refreshing.
He doesn't have to be that guy.
He could be, yeah, I need security.
I don't want to get bombarded by all these fans
because they love him.
He can't go anywhere in this ballpark
and not get stopped within five feet,
but he, like, he enjoys every part of it.
And it's, I think it's really cool.
Yeah.
It's fun to have fun, right?
I mean, he just likes to have fun.
But this show has slipped so far
in the amount of time I've been here.
It started with ape crap,
and I thought we were on a nice, reputable show.
And then just a moment ago, he slipped into ape shit.
I know.
I'm out.
It was a pleasure to see you guys as always.
Good to see you, Dave.
The great Dave Raymond.
Thank you guys for having me.
Let's get to the real Jared show.
Do you want more of me?
You don't want more of me.
You want to hang?
Yeah, you can stay here for a little bit.
Stay here.
Talk a little baseball.
Sure.
Want to promote game day men's health first, though.
Do you know, Jared, that is prostate health awareness month?
What is it?
Now, you're doing great.
Anyway, they're offering free prostate screenings, cancer screenings at Game Day Men's Health all month long when you go there and mention the dumb zone.
That's right.
Prostate Cancer Awareness Month.
That's the phrase that pays there.
It's Prostate Cancer Awareness Month.
One in eight men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime.
If you catch it early, you're better off.
And here's the thing.
They will no longer finger you.
If that's a problem for you, you know, you're going to have to find somewhere else.
But if it's not a problem for you, simple blood tests.
Come by here today.
Come by here, we'll take care of that part.
If you want a little digit in the backside, we'll take care you.
That's right.
So go in there, get yourself a health screening, get your T-checked, get yourself a free B-12 shot while you go in there and get that screening.
Oh, yeah.
Game Day men's health is the gameday.
Excuse me, gameday.
com.
There are 12 game-day men's health locations.
It is gameday.
dot dumbzone.com don't die from prostate cancer if you can do something about it there you go
that's our thing don't die uh Jared that would uh we'd lose a listener if you died
we don't want that that's true really now you made it real yeah um Jared dropping some
some um some dumb zone easter eggs for us during his play by play word talking to jordan teeks
they really love the intentionality of jack lighter against the guardians not worrying about
each individual pitch.
See, the thing is that word is so nice
that it just works.
And I'm pretty sure Murph just knows.
Talking to Jordan Teaks,
they really love the intentionality
of Jack Leiter against the Guardians,
not worrying about each individual pitch,
but just worrying about having a target
hitting the spot.
Just works.
Towards the middle.
Duran's got it.
How about this one?
Hey, David Murphy, like, two minutes later,
use the word intentionality as well.
Nice.
Dang, I bailed too early.
he probably loves it he's like fits like a glove
young guys making up this athletics lineup
what you expect from a team
that's rebuilding but don't be fooled by that
you kind of do a monthly business review Murph
and this A's group has been on fire
best record in baseball
since July 24th they're 21 and 10
so I think you might have done even
another one or two of those monthly business reviews
but did not catch those
like you're just peppering them in
you threw it in a few times
you had a fun really I mean
I was going to say you had a fun run of just
insane late game stuff but you could
say that about like any 10 day stretch
of the season yeah feels like
and one of them was
last Friday night's game and extra innings
win and
there was a bit of copy here we're
going to investigate a not
listening
proceeds for the players favorite
things of benefit the
party project, an organization that creates birthday parties for children who experience homelessness.
This pitch misses down and in the count now at 3-1 here.
What a cause?
That's a really cool organization that makes sure that kids who experience homelessness get to celebrate their birthday.
That's a 3-1.
That one's fouled back in our direction.
That was Friday night, right?
So I think probably what was happening was my head was kind of partially buried.
in the football game, NFL game that night.
And I heard that, and I felt like I needed to make it seem like I was locked in.
Pacheco rushing total or something.
I don't know.
But, yeah, because Jared is a norm, he's a norm intern.
He's a somewhat of a norm protege.
He does some serious voice here for this serious topic, right?
And it's like, I just said that.
So we're going to get right back to the count here.
Who experienced.
Oh, I guess you got to go back.
A benefit, the birthday party project, an organization that creates birthday parties for children who experience homelessness.
This pitch misses down and in the count now at 3 and 1 here to more.
That's a really cool organization that makes sure that kids who experience homelessness get to celebrate their birthday and have fun doing it.
Right, the 3-1.
Have fun doing it.
I mean, Matt didn't say that.
to make sure that they knew it was a fun party.
Right.
That is serious voice, Jared.
Yeah.
A game they would go on to win in 12 innings.
Yeah, Astros have had four straight.
Just let it go.
Extra innings without scoring a run, you know?
That's right.
Because they didn't score in the 10th last night.
Two and a half games back.
We were having this debate yesterday.
I thought we were out.
They're a game and a half back of Seattle, but they don't have the tiebreaker.
Unless they get swept by Houston, they'll have the tiebreaker over
Houston. If they get sweat by Houston, it's a non-convo anyway. We kind of were, they're a game
further removed from Houston and Seattle. We both kind of think that Houston's the more attainable
pursuit just because they play them three times. I kind of think Seattle already had their
their valley earlier this month. I think they're kind of on the up. I heard him, and I heard him
saying something, it was probably the night of that game during that broadcast that it's maybe some,
Astros hate Rangers homerism.
But if you just look at teams that bank wins when they're playing well.
So there's a lot of teams that, like, you're going to play how you're going to play,
but that's going to produce you're going to win normally, let's say, 75% of the games
if you swing like this, pitch like this.
But if you win more of those, that's actually, you know,
that's a more important statistic throughout the year than one-run games that, like,
randomly you really don't control.
Yeah, and that's not Astros hate.
That was credit to the Astro.
Yeah, but it also like inflates maybe what the team is later in the year because
you bank wins during that time.
So I don't know, it seems like it's exactly what people thought at the start of the year,
which is an even three-way division.
Yeah.
It's kind of taking a weird route to get there.
But yeah, I mean, this is, I think a lot of people, do you ask 10 people, you'd have
some people that say the Astros are the best team, some the Mariners, some
the Rangers at the beginning of the year, and they're all separated by less than three games now.
Should be fun.
I don't know.
Kind of smoking mirrors, right?
I mean, you know, to some respect for all these teams, but like the Rangers, you look at
the Rangers lineup, they got two guys with an OPS over 700, you know, but they're finding
ways to win games.
It's kind of crazy.
When they had all these All-Stars, they weren't scoring runs.
No, it's very weird.
It's very weird.
So maybe, like you're saying, Eovaldi, maybe he was just a bad clubhouse guy?
No, no, he's probably the single best in that room.
I was more thinking you just had to get Seeger and Simeon out of there, you know?
Yeah.
Power this offense.
I mean, and it's not like they're scoring 10 runs a game.
Michael Hellman's like the best player in the world the last 48 hours.
Who is Michael Hellman?
Why?
How did this have?
Who is this person?
I mean, he powered by 30-year-old rookies at this point.
He wasn't even on the team in spring training.
He's an A&M guy
They added him
I want to say in May
Could be wrong
Add him to the organization
Not to the big league roster
Came up
And he is
Where was he before?
He was in the Twins organization
Okay so he got released or whatever
Yeah
Not 300 pounds
So you're not going to hear about him
No no no
He's not
He's kind of lean
So yeah
I mean he's
Made it over the
home run saving catch.
He had a Grand Slam two days ago.
The two-run homer yesterday,
he saved the home run.
He's hit a, you know,
a couple big home runs prior to this homestand.
He's kind of been the infusion of life that they've needed.
And then the young guy,
I don't know how to measure this.
And Dan,
you're probably going to poo-poo this.
But like, you know, the regular group that they have
is a pretty flat-line group.
And it's the same group largely,
that won the World Series.
It's not an indictment against them,
but in that year, they started 40 and 20.
They weren't playing from behind.
They had a rough second half,
but they at least set a good foundation.
This year's team didn't,
and it's the same group,
and I wonder how much the energy
of some of these young guys has helped
bring some life back
because it's one of those things
where it's probably great when you're winning,
like, oh, they're so even keel,
but when you're losing,
it's like, oh, I want them to throw stuff
and break stuff,
and cough into the microphone or whatever.
And I just coughed.
I moved the microphone.
I coughed into my elbow like you're supposed to do.
I've had a little bit of a problem this week.
A little cold.
Okay.
I just want to make sure.
Do you feel like I coughed into the microphone?
Yeah.
I don't think you moved it as far as you could have.
Okay.
I think you're fine.
Blake's playing peacemaker right now.
Although if I said I had a little cough this week and I did that,
I think you'd look at me weird.
Me or Dan?
Dan.
You're sick?
You're sick, Dan?
No, I'm just coughing for no reason.
Some people cough?
Because I just wanted to interrupt you.
You've never coughed when you haven't been sick?
I feel like Osuna really brings the juice.
You know the Kemp's been there, right?
A lot of our guests are nice to us.
Well, his brother is Roberto Osuna.
He's got some Kemp's spin.
What's it going to be a fun one?
It doesn't sound like.
It's going to be a car that went like 140 miles an hour.
No, no, not like that.
But he was added, the Blue Jays cut ties to them.
The Astros added him.
It was somewhat controversial.
Oh, yeah.
Domestic violence?
Yeah, yeah.
But he's playing in Mexico now.
That's not fun.
Now, you have to have that on your resume to play in Mexico.
I don't think it's good if you have to agree to a peace bond.
What is that mean?
Yeah, I don't even know what a piece bond is.
That's an ESPN headline.
That's what Dan and Jerry.
Yeah, you need a piece.
Yeah, it's a nice little piece.
Hey, before we move on,
let's plug community
community, our HVAC company.
When do you have to get over there?
You got a minute or two still?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Our HVAC company, they are the proud
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They are a reluctant supporter
of the Dumb Zone, but they're great.
Come out, do some preventative maintenance.
At least get signed
up for that just to make sure everything is like jared with the ice cream that's right that's right that's
right just make sure uh have no surprises um they found some like a disconnected something in my attic
and it was like spewing what was it carbon monoxide dioxide dioxide some kind of carbon thing
and they said that's very bad um also just to change your filters and all that kind of stuff just
have community mechanical community let me just let jake take over right now wow for clump
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So I can do this.
You can call their text.
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I want to mention, talk a little football with Jared.
Yeah.
There you go.
And, hey, great job in the pool first week.
I saw you up there, fourth, fifth.
Oh, the monopoly thing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's my favorite thing that we do.
Do you do good in your little...
I go big every year at the beginning.
Yeah.
And I either am out in two weeks or I am among the top players.
And it's the one with all the hockey players.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We don't belong.
Who did I go with?
Jacksonville.
Okay.
Jacksonville.
It's a big first play.
We're in Jacksonville.
yeah no what stood out to you um i was just wondering i wanted to get a little archmanning talk
going with jake see what he thought about that did you watch that game jared the i watched the
first one i didn't get to watch much of their cake walk last week but i did see the thing did we get
any clarity on the wincing is that a legitimate thing what did sark say oh sark dismissed it
summarily but i'll tell you the the vagus isn't dismissing it sark is very testes
yeah yeah he's an interesting one um like uh he's he's a addict right like so he's been he's in
recovery and all that but and i'm not saying you can't still be like uh fiery and whatnot you
certainly can but i don't know man he just seems like on the edge of breakdown at all times
to me like and that's not like normally how somebody who's healthily living in maybe he just
needs to be on the edge as his thing
but he just constantly
that I'm about to explode like
don't look at me dude
I mean you can definitely
get by as a college coach like that
but it's weird
it's very weird given his history
like for example Mike McDaniel
or McDaniels
kind of tracks as a guy
who's in recovery you know
you're not that surprised to learn
that that guy is a meditate
and process
and I do things this way.
Okay, yeah.
Like it's, but everything is this way, this way.
So I don't know.
It's a bit weird, but, you know, he's a college coach,
so he can certainly get away with it.
I don't know what to think of it.
I don't know.
I feel like I've ridden the public wave on Arch.
Like when you first found out who he was
and you saw the competition he was playing against him in high school,
obviously you're like, he's going to have to do something else
before everybody can believe in him.
But then he really didn't.
What do you mean?
The competition was very weak.
It was horrible.
It looked like a 2A Texas high school.
But then you go to these, like that doesn't seem to matter as much as it did 20 years ago, even 10 years.
Like you go to these camps all year long, and he's out there just spinning it.
You know, it's hard to be wrong about a guy like that.
So I think in five years he'll probably be an MVP candidate.
The road on the way there will be interesting, though.
Yeah.
I mean, it was game one, but he's also been around for quite a bit.
It wasn't game one.
He looked awful.
He looked really bad.
He looked awful.
It was the lowest, I think I read it was the lowest target rate, like on target rate by a Texas quarterback in over a decade.
But like the fact that they still hung with Ohio State to some degree, I just, that defense is really, really good.
And they're going to give him a runway, I think, to lean into things and grow.
Oh, you had a big win against him.
Michigan, but that to me seems a little fraudulent. I mean, Michigan's ass. And I mean,
I just don't think, oh, you can't really run the ball. And I don't think that John Mateer is going to
be able to take hits like that all season long and, you know, still be able to be a functioning
quarterback. And so, like, when OU plays Texas, I don't know that Texas walks over them like they've
done the last couple years, but I just, to me, I think that Texas defense is still, that's a game-changing
defense. They're so good at all three levels, and I think that's going to give Arch some time to
figure things out. The other thing, too, I don't think Texas's receivers are that good. I think, like,
Ryan Wingo is a guy who, like, has the chance to be really good, but I haven't seen him put it
together consistently. I just think from, like, a past catching standpoint, they're a little,
uneasy for me. What did you say, what did you mean when you said that Vegas is reacting to the
arch injury? Just, like, some line-related
things. I was talking to someone about Texas lines, like in subsequent games.
Okay, not this week. Not necessarily, well, a couple points swing from what it might
have been. Okay. So with a 40 plus point spread. That's tough. Yeah, that's tough to evaluate against
the- Maybe they're like season-long type totals. I was, okay, that's interesting. I don't even
know who their backup is. Gosh, I don't either. How do you feel about Lincoln Riley?
Who, Texas? Didn't they bring in that Troy kid or something?
It was really weird.
That's one of them.
They have a grad transfer, you're right, but I don't know.
As your USC guy.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Is he deuce bowling?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm a Deuce Robinson fan because of you guys.
It's not like USC doesn't have plenty.
No, but they, I don't know, they've played two awful teams.
For the first time and forever, they actually have a legitimate recruiting class.
Well, they're probably, they're going to be, I mean, I don't know.
They should be undefeated and then they play Michigan.
Wait, what does that mean?
The first time they've had a- They haven't.
USC's recruit, like, especially in the NIL era, they've not done that well.
They have, they have really been underwhelming.
And that was one of the knocks on Lincoln after Caleb.
So Caleb's, Lincoln's first year was Caleb's Heisman year.
Yeah.
And Caleb was great.
Things were great.
Recruiting wasn't outstanding, but hey, you have Caleb Williams.
Next year, Caleb not as good because the team around him, I mean, he had no line.
And the recruiting was kind of poor.
And then under Clay Hilton, the recruiting was asked.
No one wanted to go play for that guy.
And so USC's fine, but they're going to go.
They'll play Michigan.
They'll probably lose to them.
Then they'll lose to Notre Dame.
And then they'll kind of be back on track being a four or five lost team.
I'm just trying to look for where the excuse for Lincoln Riley is here.
And it sounds like we're already hearing it, right?
Like, we just don't spend enough money at NIO.
Well, no, no, I'm not.
I'm not saying you, but he's not going to say, boy, this was the biggest effing failure of all time on my behalf.
The biggest homer, the biggest USC homer, or the biggest Lincoln Riley Homer would say that USC has not, I mean, especially being in the Big Ten, dollar for dollar, they have not spent the way that they need to spend if they want to compete with the big dogs.
Didn't they, didn't he get one of those contracts with like his family can use the private jet four times a year?
There were a lot of, I don't know what was true, but yeah, but that was definitely out there.
Something about a house allowance and, you know, selling the house in Norman and.
buying the house in L.A. and plain travel. I don't remember what was and wasn't true.
I wonder if they need to put in NIL spending in the coach's contracts.
Oh, that's already happening, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I bet it is.
Yeah, because somebody, didn't some dude from Iowa, like, have to give back some of his money
to keep his job? I don't know. I'm pretty sure there's coaches who have said that it's like,
yeah, we'll spend the money if it comes from your salary. I might be familiar with that.
Yeah, I'm very familiar with that negotiating tactic.
You are a norm intern, man.
Like, remember some of the norm interns we would just be able to quiz them about any sport
and they were so deep.
This guy has his main job is knowing everything about Major League Baseball.
Just the American League.
Oh, that's right.
That's our fight.
Boy, he does fight with a lot of people, doesn't he?
All of us.
I'm feisty.
It's an early...
My record's clean today.
Yeah.
I don't ever, yeah, I rarely ever fight with Jake.
Fighting with Dave, that's right.
You and Jake are little buddies.
Why don't you marry him?
All right, well.
You were in the middle of a thought, I feel like.
Was I? What were we talking about?
I don't know.
It was saying about a norm intern.
It's not.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he knows everything.
Oh, he's like in depth in college football.
He's like knows three deep, you know, on different teams.
He knows everything about Major League Baseball, and he is so.
Like ice cream.
He loves to like ice cream, but so deeply involved in, you know, making some picks
and looking at the lines for the NFL weekend as well.
I met someone the other day who knew Norm when he was broadcasting for the sidekicks
and said that Norm would constantly ask for information so he knew what bet to make for that night's
sidekicks game.
Yeah, I mean, it's the most norm thing ever.
Well, yeah, he would make calls to friends in Chicago.
Oh, yeah.
A little birdie told me that, yeah, his brain exploded when like the inner.
internet.
Seriously.
He used to have friends
send him papers.
He'd be on the phone early in the morning.
That's part of the reason.
Or have people print out the entire
country, yeah.
No, Jared should be like a general manager.
Of what?
Who would hire me to do that?
I mean, obviously not now,
but I'm just saying the way that his brain is,
like you can totally see it.
And he's like, you can tell he could
bullshit the media and stuff,
do the, well, the kids who experience homelessness voice.
Like, he can handle the...
That's right.
He could totally do.
He could totally do.
He can totally do.
He can't do.
I have snacks in my car that I get.
The charity is just a long play.
Just the homeless kids?
I mean, definitely, but like I typically see adults.
But yeah, they get thrown back at me sometimes.
But like I'm not going to give you money.
So, okay, explain this.
Like, like, like, uh, like, uh, chewy bars or cliff bar.
Yeah, like those things.
You will toss a granola bar
I won't toss it and say fetch
I will roll down my window
Why do you put spin on it
And do they look at you with like
Some are appreciative
Some want money to go
Spend on whatever
What would Angela do if you hand them a granola bar
God
Ask me if I had any more of them
Asked if you had any great Poupon or something
Yeah
Do I have a Torchies gift card
Yeah
But it's a real test
Like, are you, do you really need food?
Because if you do, I'm giving you food.
Yeah, it's a good bit.
My dad used to, I mean, I only recall it actually happening once, but like a guy had a
will work for food sign, and he had the two of us in the truck.
Picked up a guy?
Yeah.
And then what?
Because we were going to.
What do you expect him to do?
He was, we were driving actually to the UPS hub.
No, like a warehouse.
Oh.
Okay, we're headed in, actually.
He was going to put him to work.
Yeah.
It's pretty risky, right?
Is it the guy bail?
Yeah.
Yeah, like a few minutes into the ride.
My mom was heated, bro.
She wasn't there.
No, but she found out pretty quickly.
Because you told me.
Yeah, dude, but just now that I think back on it, just some junkie.
Picking up a homeless guy.
But he wanted to call the bluff, you know, that's all he wanted to do.
Was he doing it just to show you guys?
I don't know.
I feel like he was doing it just to call the bluff.
Be like, oh, come down and work then.
Like him.
Well, you notice he's not giving the guy like something.
something they definitely want.
He's getting, you know, a spare bar to try to test there.
It's the smorish chewy bar, which is probably the best one.
Hey, that's not bad.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the best one I just said.
You also give him a little napkin?
That's a little, you know, hot day and in your hands.
I'm not that thought of a little, sorry.
It's also just two bites.
They're incredibly small.
That's fine.
God.
You're right, Blake.
It is kind of just more of a tease.
Yeah.
No, that's true.
I mean, I, I, I, yeah.
You ever give them a couple tickets?
To the game tickets, right?
Yeah.
If they answer the trivia question.
What do you get ticket-wise?
Do you get, like, personally,
are you allowed to get two tickets a game or something?
So the setup used to be a little more favorable.
There was a way to beat the system a little bit.
But we get two tickets per home game,
but not restricted to only using two per game.
So every month, sorry, back up.
Every month we get a new allotment,
and it is two tickets.
times however many home games.
So if we have 10 home games, I get 20 tickets at month.
I can use them on one game.
I can use them on 20 games or however I want to distribute them.
It's pretty sweet.
And then on the road, we get, we can get up to six tickets.
We get taxed on those.
So whatever the...
If you take a road ticket, you get taxed.
Yes, we get taxed on those.
Okay.
Not a tariff.
And the players do too.
Like they, no, not a tariff.
The players do.
as well so like when they get hit up like if you ever hear like a player they get a hundred
tickets like they're either buying more like whatever is beyond their allotment or like at best
case they're paying taxes on 100 tickets so like some of these guys who get called up and
they go play in like some small town or nearby they're from a small town so the whole city
or whole town's going to go to Cleveland to watch them play whatever do they just go to teammates for
their well they'll go yeah so i'd go you know hey can i get you know you know you know you
any tickets left over, but then beyond that,
like they would have to buy,
and it works something out with the other team or whatever.
You know, there's someone with the Rangers
who helps facilitate all that, but, like,
I think people think they just get
three tickets. Otherwise, it would be like a salary
cap type violation or something.
Well, I think it's like, it's considered
a form of payment. I don't think
it's, it's, like, towards the luxury tax,
but, like, it's a part, it becomes a part
of your income. That's why it gets taxed.
Yeah, you've seen Micah complaining about
this quite a bit.
that he has to pay for things.
Yeah, and the tax part of it.
Yeah.
Didn't he charge that?
Someone told me he charged $25,000 for like a five-minute appearance or something like that.
Did he?
Yeah.
I wouldn't doubt it.
Man, I can't wait to see what that looks like up there.
Yeah, what's your thought on the trade, Packers fan?
Oh, that's right.
I forgot.
I mean, I was not a huge Micah guy when he was here.
Best case, different environment, more stable environment, not.
as volatile like the Cowboys maybe it works out better but I'm sure he'll have a great year and then
guys like that don't stay consistent they don't behave consistently he'll he'll cause problems there
like he did here he's a Hall of Fame player right like that he's that talented but you can read between
the lines what players his teammates did or didn't say upon his exit I mean CD was the only one who
was like kind of bummed about it right Trayvon Trayvon who cares about Tray I mean you got the worst
compass that guy if the cowboys knew what the hell they were doing that guy would be gone
yeah i'm serious like he is the biggest waste of money i'd rather pay de ron bland whatever they
paid him than trevon diggs i'm serious like the best thing about travon is his son his son's the
cutest thing in the world yeah did yeah dan he's like 18 now isn't he no he's like eight
okay but yeah like whether you like dac or not i think most of us would agree
forget about Dak the quarterback
he does seem to have a pretty good pulse on things
and Dak is a team first guy
that guy's not he was never out there
like defending Micah
and the weird thing is is that you would hear things
behind the scenes about Micah
and I could never
was I just convincing myself
that oh that guy is just feeding me this or that
because he wants me to think differently
like I was a huge Micah fan
but certainly we would hear
like oh this guy's he doesn't really do
shit in the off-season because you would see him like on traveling the world doing videos you're
talking about work ethic you would hear from guys like oh he does he doesn't do anything like he works
out for the camera but he's not really that committed but then you see digs putting out a documentary
where micah's actually having to go get him to work out so i'm like oh myca's at least above him
well how bad yeah how bad yeah well a lot of these guys can get through college
Even with natural ability and not really working hard.
Yeah.
And then they get to this level.
And then I'd heard that, you know, he hired somebody else,
that he had had this new trainer in the last six months or so.
But he's definitely not a guy.
You've seen all the reporting now that's come out from Albert Breer to Machota
of like there's plenty of people who were not happy with his work habits and work ethic at all.
Well, I told you that he was on the Undertaker podcast, so I listened to it.
Micah was?
Yeah, of course, right?
The Undertaker has a podcast, and somehow he has Micah Parsons.
It doesn't make any sense.
It wasn't that great, but...
Probably brought to you by, like, Caesar's sports book or something.
Yeah, but somehow Micah, during that conversation, said he had been working out with Miles Garrett,
and he was, like, he was blown away by how hard Miles Garrett works, and that he was,
he is just learning this and that he's in the process of trying to change his game
because he's seeing that to get that great, I'm going to actually have to work,
and I haven't been doing that.
Yeah, the thing that has been conveyed to me is that's not a dude who's playing past like 30, 31.
Yeah, here's the two things with Micah.
First of all, DeMarcus Lawrence is the defensive leader when Micah joined the Cowboys, right?
those two didn't have a good relationship.
Micah came into the NFL acting like he knew everything, right?
So that doesn't surprise me that he works out with Miles Garrett's like,
oh, this is what it takes because he kind of, I never got the sense.
He wasn't like, hey.
Pick to Marcus Lawrence's brain and like, hey, show me how to do this.
And the other thing is, you know, the Packers never spend like that.
But like, does it not seem like 29, maybe not 29, but 20 teams in the NFL can,
continue to give out contracts and not feel handcuffed,
but the Cowboys just constantly talk about how they can't keep paying all these people.
And so I don't know,
if Stephen Jones might be the worst capologist in the NFL,
I think that's like legitimately possible.
But whether or not that's true,
they cry poor all the time while the Eagles keep signing guys and signing guys and signing guys.
But if they are as poor as they say they are,
then Mike is not the guy that I want to spend that type of money on
because I don't think he elevates that room.
He is an incredible player.
is going to have highlight plays, you're going to probably, you know, be upset when he gets inducted
in the Hall of Fame if he can stay healthy. But my guess is his team success or his defensive
unit success won't ever really consistently match up to what you would think it would be with
his presence. Yeah. I don't believe they're as poor as they say they are. I don't either.
I think they like to set up excuses for why they're not spending money. I think last year even with
the CD and the DAC contracts looming. And the timing of it, they were,
Well, we can't do anything in free agency because of it.
Well, that's true because you put yourself there.
You could have done something in free agency like Philly did when they signed
Sequin Barclay.
Yeah, it's tough when you see Philly do it, but it's way worse when I, like he said,
a conservative team like Green Bay is the one.
Yes.
You're even more close to the vest than the Packers.
Yeah, they're big acquisitions in my lifetime.
I can probably count on one hand, like non-draft, like Charles Woodson was the most recent
and then, like, I don't want to say it went from Reggie White to Charles Woodson,
but, like, there really wasn't a lot in between in terms of Julius Peppers,
I guess they got, you know, back when he was towards the end of his career.
Dude, how excited.
Xavier McKinney, but he wasn't even, who said that?
Yeah, but he wasn't, oh, are you a Packers fan?
But, like, he's, I am too, same team.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, like, even, like, Xavier McKinney wasn't, it was, it wasn't the big, like,
$100 million type deal.
Yeah, for that, for that, for that.
Them, yeah. And he was great last year.
Anyway. All right, I got to go.
Anyway, that's Jared Sandler, everybody.
See you guys.
Dan, I hope you feel better.
Shut up.
Jared Sandler's last appearance on the Dumb Zone.
We'll all remember it.
Here at the Lowe's Hotel.
Packers, commanders, guest the line at Green Bay tomorrow night.
Thursday night, football.
Which I'm already, I mean, I cannot wait to see it more Micah.
Not like I'm pulling for the Packers, but.
Washington by one.
Green Bay, three and a half.
Three and a half.
Favorite by three and a half.
I don't know that I'd bet Washington,
but I don't know that I'd go three and a half either.
I guess that's why Vegas is pretty good at what they do.
Yeah.
They put you in that little spot.
Window Nation is what we will mention right here before we move forward
because that is a fine sponsor.
A proud sponsor, maybe?
They haven't actually told me that.
I said maybe.
Yeah, they haven't told me that.
They haven't told us anything other than you can put zero down,
make zero payments, and pay zero interest for two years when you replace your windows.
Wait, you don't even make a payment.
No payments.
So you don't pay any money.
for two years, and you're going to have new windows in your house.
That's correct.
Unbelievable.
How are they still in business?
Oh, they also got a different deal, too.
What is it?
You research that.
Okay.
I do know that if you replace all your windows,
you get a Cowboys jersey and a chance to win a pair of home game tickets.
The contact info for Window Nation is 86690 Nation.
Visit Window Nation.
Oh, buy two windows.
You get two free.
That's the thing I researched.
Yeah, and if you only need two of them, you just have two.
Yeah, you've got two extra windows.
Carry them on vacation.
Maybe you find yourself in like a room like this.
You're like, oh, I don't know, I don't need to put the window over there and you can see outside.
And everyone will be like, where did you get those?
And you'll say Window Nation, and I haven't even paid for them yet.
At WindowNation.com.
Sale ends September 30th.
It does.
So schedule a fast, free estimate now.
Freshing up your home.
How do you schedule that estimate, Jake?
Did we say that?
Wendonation.com or 86690 Nation.
Get that estimate.
There you go.
Shall we continue with a little sports?
Like, do you want to hear some shoddy?
Sure.
Do you want to do viewer mail?
What's your thought here?
We're one hour into this program.
Let's do a little bit of shoddy over here.
We are your pregame show for Rangers, Brewers, something's got to give.
This could be a World Series preview.
it could be
why would you laugh
I wasn't the only one laughing in here
okay
it's obviously way
way more likely
that a team
with a gazillion wins
like Milwaukee is in the
in the World Series
but it seems that in my lifetime
the team with 104 wins
not making the World Series
is almost as likely
as when the team with 87 or 88
does you know
because it's not fair
It's baseball.
That's why the Rangers still have a chance.
Could have another beautiful parade.
Remember how fun that was?
It's really interesting to consider what they have learned, what they think they've learned.
How would it be different?
Because it can't be the same.
It cannot be the exact.
Why not?
Come on, man.
That's where Jared Sandler learned to throw candy at homeless people.
that crazy, shitty parade.
I thought it was great.
We had a guy hanging from the traffic light.
And that was good, but we needed a lot more.
Did we have that guy on the show?
We did.
Yeah.
Pole guy?
Pole guy.
All right, so Shottie was talking.
I actually had two press conferences slightly cut up.
He didn't have a ton after the game.
I got a couple of cuts from that,
but he was talking about, you know, as we're looking ahead to this weekend's games.
and did he ask himself questions after you asked him questions?
He did.
There's got to be consistency, and I will speak to a guy like Tyler Booker.
He's not been perfect.
He didn't play perfect, but Tyler Booker has been very, very consistent.
You know each and every day what you're going to get from Tyler Booker,
and I think some of the young guys that were inactive,
we've had those hard conversations with them.
They understand where they need to go, and I have no question that they will respond to that.
Will that be this week?
I don't know.
We'll see.
I like that, Ender.
When practice ends today, I hope there's a handful of our veterans
that normally is that stay out there with a young guy or two
to lean into them, not just because we want you guys to see it on camera.
It's because it's going to help us.
Is it going to help us this week?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I find this interesting, too.
Just something he said in there, is this a slip?
When he says...
We want you guys to see it on...
Oh, wait.
Not just because we want you guys to see it on camera.
because it's going to help us.
Is it going to help us this week?
I don't know.
So the, I want a veteran to take a youngster under his wing and show him the ropes.
The way we were saying, the Epstein, the way we were saying DeMarcus Lawrence did not do to Micah,
although Micah probably would have been pretty resistant to that had DeMarcus Lawrence tried that.
But he's saying not just because we want you guys to see it, but also because it's real.
So, like, so I'm guessing here, there are some things.
that are done performatively.
Like, we want to make sure that we look like a tight-knit group,
so let's kind of walk out talking and stuff.
Do you know what he says that to the team, do you?
Kind of the, when Jimmy Johnson says,
when Jerry first wanted cameras in the draft room,
that he actually said to him,
hey, before you make a pick,
will you lean over and just talk to me?
Yeah.
Like we're going over it?
I 100% believe that that happened.
Yes, that's awesome.
But not just because,
I want the cameras to see it
but also I'd like to be involved
because I'm the owner of the team stuff
here's question three
what are they talking about here
what is it that you most appreciate
about his game
oh man
oh okay
Christy had asked
Shottie about
Russell Wilson
who yes
is on the Giants
and is
thought to probably be the starting
quarterback but I think we're
still not sure.
Yeah.
Anyway, so she's asking about Russell Wilson.
Oh, man.
That's a great question.
It's probably a long answer.
One of the greatest deep ball throwers I've ever been around, Christy, this guy's
ability to just drop the ball in the bucket and put the perfect amount of air to the receiver
that it was intended to.
What do I mean by that?
Like, Tyler Lockett was a four-two-five guy.
And he describes what it is to put.
Probably still runs pretty damn fast.
So he would put a little bit more air up underneath it and let Tyler go.
track it with his dk he would throw it a little bit flatter ah yeah well you know he's trying to
give an answer so this was interesting to me too i've never heard this but they were talking about
i think the genesis of this was george pickens only four targets and we're all going to be on
George Pickens alert, you know, for if he doesn't get what he needs, all this kind of, you know,
he's in a contract year, you know the whole thing.
Oh, yeah, could be a big phase of a tornado.
That you don't even know.
Or which is not even true.
Okay, so.
What is the conversation like, you know, entering this week, a new player like him,
contract year, wide receiver where they kind of have to ask for the ball?
What's that like you, the play caller, going to a receiver like that and talking after a week
where it's only that kind of number?
funny and I didn't have it with George. I should have probably had it with George, but I showed
CD before the game all of his targets. So on the back of your call sheet, you've got to get the
ball to certain people. And like, it was like this. Okay, CD, look at all your targets. And then
literally George's was right below him. I was like, okay, then look at all the George's target.
So it's like, obviously the way we're designing the game plan is to feature your playmakers.
Do you understand what he means there? When he said, like, does he literally,
I don't have the visual, but...
But literally on the play sheet, it says C.D. Lamb, 15, George Pickens, 12...
Do they do they do that before the game that I want to make sure?
And is there somebody tracking that?
To an extent.
I'm pretty interested in this.
Definitely.
I always thought it was, like, mentally, I know who our best players are.
I want to get it to them.
Yeah, but you're going to lose track of things.
You're going to lose track of all sorts of things.
But are you in a...
Like does an elbow equal two feet or...
Yeah, but if you're in a third quarter,
And are you saying to yourself then, man, I don't know how many targets CD has had.
Let me make sure I get him one now because it says, let me turn this over.
Okay, it says 15 and we only have four.
It's not the determining factor, but it's a factor.
And if you have it written down and you're keeping track of it,
you're hoping to not get to the third quarter and be in that situation.
100%.
You're managing human beings and especially wide receivers.
you don't want to put yourself in that spot.
If you end up there and it's because everything's been running smoothly, fine.
But, yeah, I mean, if you want to get the best out of some people,
you've got to keep them involved.
You're going to have to know that throughout the game.
Hmm.
I think that's an entirely normal thing.
I just thought it just kind of flowed as it flowed.
Like, once you're in the game.
That would be ideal, you know?
Yeah, I didn't realize that.
So you don't think, I mean, I feel like, Blake, no, I feel like that's pretty normal to you're just going to have.
To actually have a number written down objectively, I want to make sure he gets this many.
I want to make sure Emmett gets 20 carries.
And again, I'm not saying that it's the end-all be-all, but I also think it's probably like, hey, I've got four plays on this sheet.
We're going to run these for you today.
We're going to get to these four today.
I believe that.
And no matter what.
Because they have a million plays and they really pair that down for a week, right?
Yeah.
Like we're going to folk these, yeah.
I think the guy that says we need 53 rushes and completed passes
is also the guy that says we need 15 targets for CD.
I think he likes numbers like that.
So it makes sense that, yeah.
I just call him a dummy.
Okay, I'll call him a dummy.
Yeah, that dummy probably does that.
That's interesting.
Yeah, I didn't think about that.
He goes on, he's continuing to talk about George Pickens,
and by him saying this,
I feel very good that George Pickens is on my fantasy team this week,
and we'll start.
again it's more of them just knowing hey we see you we know you're a great player we're
trying to get you the ball as much as possible but like i've always said there's only one ball
to go around and a lot of it is again he's only said that he's the only one that i like that
that like i've always said yeah like i always said what goes around comes only one football
this is kind of a thing my grandpa actually might have been you know i tell these guys all the time
it starts with the line of scrimmage possible but like i've always said there's only one
ball to go around and a lot of it is again the two of them have such a great relationship
that George was happy for CD with his production and guess what this week when it
flips CD will be happy for for George and vice versa well but this this has been a
thing forever correct at least here for sure is that if T.O. spouts off one week about I
didn't get a lot of care you know looks the next week he's not only going to get that
opening game make sure you get in the flow thing he's going to have 20 targets and so i wonder if
because this is at least somewhat of a story right now yeah if shoddy does have that in mind and
is george pickens going to be you know is shoddy even going to pull pull deck aside and be like hey
let's get let's get george pickens going he's we got to keep him and maybe that's just the smart
thing to do we got to keep him engaged for this whole season yeah that's that's kind of the point
that I'm making.
It's not like a force-feed or a suboptimal decision.
It's just part of your plan or strategy.
Also, I know Blake somewhat, I think, correctly thinks that last year, we in the
quote media actually got Dak hurt because it was the week that we were all complaining
that he couldn't run anymore and he looked dead when he tried to get outside of the pocket.
That week was the week he took off against Atlanta and the next play.
He just tried to throw a football.
I was like, I'm done for eight months.
No, we played this game last year, whether it was Zeke getting the ball or what have you.
It was, I forget what we called it, but basically the media is the offensive coordinator for that week.
And you're right.
The first play this week will be a George Pickens just five-yard comeback.
Turn around, catch the ball.
There we go.
Hey, George Pickens got a catch.
Broadcast will mention it.
Oh, three to four targets last week.
Get them involved this week.
Point of emphasis this week.
Get George Pickens the football.
Right.
I know you mentioned this after the game to make sure I cut these.
So this was from the post-game press conference in Philly.
I think we just settled in.
You know, I really do.
I think we settled in.
The quarterback's really big and athletic, and our rush lane discipline in the first half
wasn't very good.
He got out a few times.
I thought we did a better job of containing him in the second half.
But, again, we had chances out there, and there's no moral victories for us.
a chance to win that game and weren't able to do it and it'll sting.
Yeah, I just don't buy the no moral victory thing from him.
I think he's a walking moral victory coach.
He's, you know, he's Ted Lassow.
Like if Ted Lassow is like, oh, there's no moral victory.
I mean, that's all he's about.
So, I mean, I guess he has to say the words, no moral victory because we make them say that.
But he's got to be thrilled.
He's like, this is the greatest day of my life.
Especially because it does seem like you point to a few things.
Certainly the CD drops and then the fumble.
You see it, but look at, I didn't fuck this up at all.
Right.
My plays were great.
Look at the play I called.
The ball was in his hands.
Stack did it.
It's insane.
We can kind of point to just a few things and say.
He was, dude, he was 100% dropping your wife off at the airport.
He's like, outside that press conference, like, okay.
Lost, lost.
Don't act too excited.
Don't have a big smile.
Don't fuck this up, dude.
I know this will be over in like 15 minutes and then it's party time.
Yeah.
I did see some confetti on the plane.
I was wondering what that was.
Yeah, it was him.
But that almost worked out better for him that CD dropped it because he could point to, like, we would have won if.
Right.
But if C.D. catches those and then the Eagles drive down the score.
Yeah.
We'll see.
No, listen, where are we on the life cycle, they'll destroy the giants.
Dude, it would be so cowboy.
if they didn't.
But again, you have to remember the formula.
Things have to get way better,
and you have to get more hope before they get worse.
Not to say that there will be no stumbles along the way,
but this is the good time right now, buddy.
The visor stays backwards.
It's, yeah.
Dude, I'm telling you, they're going to be four and two.
What's that line?
Going to be good times.
I would think it's cowboys.
It's got to be at least.
Like four and a half or something.
Give me that.
Green Bay, Washington.
Give me below the six.
I was going to say five and a half.
Five and a half?
Yeah, below six for sure.
What do you got?
Five and a half?
Five and a half?
All right.
You wanted me to cut this one off, so I did.
We got a short word.
I don't remember what we did.
Short words.
I thought Dak played really well, you know, limited opportunities,
just because we didn't have that many ops with the 26 minutes
or whatever was, time of possession.
But I thought Dak threw the ball really well
and played.
I don't want him to do ops.
If he's going to be cool coach,
cool, shoddy coach,
then ops has to be gang members you're going to kill.
What's special ops?
What is that?
What do you mean?
It's not opportunities.
Right?
I'm saying ops already has a full word.
Opportunities.
Ops.
Live, laugh, love, football.
Do you want to play this one or no?
You can.
I don't know.
Yeah.
In context, I don't remember where we were in this.
Do you want me to name the, do you want me to say what the name is?
Sure.
It's called the Patrick Walker Special.
He's from Dallas Cowboys.com.
All right.
A lot was said about your decision to not play Dats like Dax first guy in the spring season.
What does it say about D.
He says a lot was said about your decision to not play DAC during the pre-season.
preseason, and he's about to say, what does it say about Dak?
What does it say about Dak to come out and have a game he did after not say he's a
pro. I mean, how many snaps is the guy played in the NFL? You know, I thought he played
really well. And Dak's going to come on here and say the same thing. There's no moral
victories. We had a chance. We did not make enough plays. I think I wanted to pull that one because
it's basically like, hey, you didn't play Dak in the preseason and he was awesome. Can you talk about
how right you guys were?
No, that's a very, yes.
It's a good, dowscobboys.com.
It's a bit of a...
Those are your colleagues, Blake.
You know, the Rangers, I mean, every team has that.
Why don't you get him on the run this week?
What are you doing after the game?
Nothing.
What are you doing after the game?
They're not, he has no post-game responsibilities other than figuring this shit out.
What do you want me to do?
What do you take up?
I'll send you questions throughout the game.
What are you going to go as Shottie?
Yeah.
My backpack?
Just backpack?
That's it.
It's great.
Is it great?
It's the best.
Like all you do is pull out your computer and that's it.
It's the best.
I helped their engineer just a little bit, but I would love to just leave just because I can.
Dude, that's so the guy who's used to find the loading dock and seven different dollies.
He's got to push in.
I felt naked getting on the plane because I just had my backpack.
When normally I have all this equipment, I'm trying to shove overhead.
And yeah, get into the stadium early.
Where's the truck?
Can I load this thing?
And then now I'm just like, dude's already there.
What's up, bro?
I'm here.
Are you, does Baldi leave you after the game?
Because you said pre-game, you're walking around with him on the...
Baldi was the last man in that stadium.
Really?
Yes.
Like he's breaking down film right away.
Yeah.
Just down there doing past sets at 2.30 in the morning.
I think he was doing an interview.
But, no, he stayed in the booth, watching...
The interview in the grass or something.
That guy's great.
Is he on our show tomorrow?
And he'll be on the show tomorrow.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, you're going to pick...
What's your duty for this weekend?
I've got to pick up Burline this week.
Wow.
Fantastic.
Sunday?
Uber line.
Yeah.
What time you got to be there?
I don't know.
What am I supposed to?
Hey, Steve.
Yeah, is it a noon game?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a noon game.
So it'll be early.
What do you mean?
Hey, Steve.
Hi, Steve.
My name's, yeah.
Get familiar with his career.
So how long you've been doing this?
Yeah, I've done games for a while.
I used to work for TCU.
Yeah, I don't know.
Can you do your set from playing for the cowboy?
From La.
Okay.
You into stand-up?
The Last with Legends set?
I don't know what I'm supposed to talk to him about.
Dude, I don't think you are going to be doing any talking.
He's going to be destroying.
Just working on his set?
Yeah.
You leave it to Berline.
Okay.
So it's Berline and Ted Emmerich?
Yeah.
This weekend?
Yep.
And they wouldn't even dream of asking Ted to pick him up.
That'd be so demeaning to him.
Yeah.
No, I'm the new guy.
I got to do this.
So whatever.
You'd think the.
The NFL, they've got a lot of money, you know.
It's not the NFL, though.
It's like Westwood one.
What is it?
Compass Media Networks.
Okay.
Take a break?
Sure, man.
Let's do it.
I just got to pee really bad.
It's really all it is.
I'm just going to be honest.
You're listening to the Dumb Zone.
That is right.
We're doing a ballpark show today.
It's brought to you in part by Fairlease.org, where you can get a vehicle.
Where?
We can shop for a vehicle right now, wherever you are.
Where are you?
The Lowe's Hotel.
Go to Fairleaves.org on that computer.
Use the little drop-down menu there on where did you hear of us.
Yeah, you'll be able to do it there.
I'm pretty sure.
My Internet's a little shot.
Yeah, I don't know.
Get a, what do you call that, like a V-P?
P.N thing? Is it anyone in Ukraine using a fake email address thing that makes it look like it's
coming from Texas? So they can get better munitions? Or maybe so they can log on to
fair lease.org. If they want to get a better lease, if they're on some national lease.
Heard from tons of people who like, they are leasing with, let's say, D&M. I actually heard
DNM and that the Fair Lease terms were a lot better and Fairlease will actually buy you out
of your current lease and help you get into a brand new vehicle with Fairlease.org.
It's crazy.
It is.
Leave your man.
For Fairlease.org.
Anyway, yes.
Dumbzone Day at the ballpark is what we are involved in today.
You've been any ball games this year?
You didn't go to opening day, right?
Did we go to a game together?
I did not go to opening day.
I go to one game per series throughout the year.
And it really, it's amazing that I was able to have the self-control to wait until game three of this series.
Yeah.
Because things are so exciting right now.
And I think you were in Rangerland.
You were a bit perplexed heading into this series because don't you just go to every bullpen game?
You pick just bullpen games.
It's the best way to really evaluate your whole team.
That's right.
Yes.
You get to see more pitchers pitch.
Wow.
Excuse me.
Had a little banana during the break there.
That was not a little banana.
That was a king size.
That was a magnum banana, buddy.
Thanks, man.
Appreciate.
Appreciate you.
So you didn't park, so we got parking pass.
Oh, actually, you know what?
I'll wait until Sarah gets here and see if she's as any relatable.
I have a parking situation.
but I'd also like to evaluate the Lowe's Hotel first of all great place yeah but the one flaw I found in Lowe's the tiniest flaw but it is in my bathroom ratings you know I have a bathroom rating system yeah no I was based on cleanliness whatever the highest you can give that's what I would give the Lowe's hotel the hand towels they have actual towels I don't like the air of dryer that's
terrible.
The water flow,
beautiful,
and it's touchless.
It's great.
It's like a little shower.
It doesn't come out like all in one thing.
It didn't make you work for it.
It's a little tiny,
you know what I mean?
When your little water faucet is like a little shower
and not all coming out like a hose.
You're happy with the volume.
I like the little shower.
It feels nice on your hands.
God.
You're dainty.
The little,
the soap thing.
Did you experience this too?
Yeah, they skimp on you.
It's maybe like a one square millimeter of soap.
Oh, no.
It's the very smallest little thing.
Is the ladies' bathroom like that?
Throw on a headset.
Sarah Heppelin thought she was just here for us to look at.
Do the other one.
Now, usually Sarah is, I'm like, look, if she shows up to a party, we're not here to talk to you.
We're here.
We invited you to look at you.
But she is here now.
Can you hear?
Go the, no.
Pull that.
Pull that in front of your mouth.
Go the other way.
Go back and back around.
There you go.
There you go.
Sarah Heppala, folks, from the Dallas Morning News,
from the New York Times bestselling author list.
Hey, guys.
How you doing?
Do you think that I made it onto the bestseller list because of, you know?
Because of your cans?
What are you saying?
Oh, I don't know.
No, I think the book is fantastic.
It's the words.
It's the words that you writ.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah, but you are the guys.
who every news story, you quickly want to do a little research.
And I mean, if there's going to be a book that opens up with...
This guy doesn't care.
That opens up with like a sex scene.
You're quickly Googling that.
The sex scene was a very big help.
She knows how to capture an audience.
Right, but if you were followed up, you could have lost interest if it was, you know...
Like, how did she get to this point where she was a dude's laying on top of her?
I need to know.
No, it's the other way around.
Could I be that dude?
Dan.
You're on top of a dude.
Thank you.
Okay.
You passed out on a dude.
I didn't pass out.
I came out of a blackout.
So I was in and out of...
A blackout is not a passout.
A blackout is like you're actually doing stuff, like sex.
Exactly, but you can't remember it.
And then you never remember it.
Like sex.
Pull that cable.
It's like pulling your microphone down.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
There you go.
How about that?
Okay, how is your bathroom soap situation in the ladies' bathroom?
Or do you not wash your hands when you do?
It was...
Ours was very tiny.
Otherwise, 10 of 10, everything in that bathroom is perfect.
I think that's right.
Yeah.
I was taken by downstairs.
The, what's it called, Freebird, Railbird.
The lobby.
The lobby.
Beautiful.
It's just beautiful here.
What's going on?
I don't know.
No, I don't want you to evaluate the whole hotel.
What's in the lobby?
Railbird, what's anybody talking about it?
I don't have no idea what she just said.
There was a beautiful coffee shop.
Oh, okay.
It's called Railbird?
Maybe.
Okay, well, let's...
Jesus.
This is...
I wanted to know.
Did you get a...
I killed your show.
Did you use a parking pass from Blake?
Yeah.
Okay.
How was your parking?
Ten out of ten.
Was it fine?
Yeah.
Okay, the guy...
Were they nice to you when you came in?
She was so nice to me.
Oh, it was a she and Sarah's got big hands.
That's not why.
Everybody always treats her nice.
That's not.
I don't think it always works that way with women.
Not always.
I think sometimes they hate on, they have jealous.
You know what I did, Dan?
I said, how's your day going?
I said, how's it going?
And she said, it's going to be a long day.
And I said, looks like it.
She said, 11,000 parking spaces in here.
And I said, good luck to you, my friend.
How do they do it?
Yeah.
It's because they're ladies.
And she just had a pleasant time.
well no i had we're going to real bird later i had parking guy with attitude yeah major attitude
that's what i heard uh he's an old guy and i showed him like it's a you know and now it's in
the apple wallet and stuff i'm like here here's the uh like let's wave me through what's that
um i just got this thing it says lot b well who are you with um well we're doing a show over
at the Lowe's Hotel.
Lowe's, they're not supposed to have parking here.
Lowe's.
And I go, I don't know.
I just got this, like, we're actually, though, we're going to the game then after.
And, well, what do you?
I'm like, I just want to park.
And then I, so I know you're behind me.
And I figure others are behind me.
And he's seeing this for the first time.
So I was like, okay, well, there's going to be a, we're doing a show.
We're at that hotel.
And then we have a bunch of our listeners.
We're going to go over, watch the game.
And blah, blah, blah.
That's why we're Texas Rangers, all this kind of stuff.
I have this thing.
God, you've already just done way too much.
Yeah, and I go, so I'm thinking, I'm trying to lessen the blow for you.
And I said, I'm going to have, there's some other people that are probably going to be flashing this too.
They're going to be coming in after me.
He's like, oh, yeah, I think there's already a few here.
And he pointed at like T.
C's car in another car.
I'm like, what do we just go through this for then?
He already did this.
He did this.
He did this.
And then I walked up and T.C. is like, yeah.
That's exact, Clayton, the exact same vibe I got from him too.
Like a big, it took 10 minutes to get into the parking lot.
Yeah, at some point you realize.
And I asked him how his day was going when I started.
I say, hey, how's it going?
Probably not as nice as she did, though.
Yeah.
I bet.
Just old guys, I mean, that's what gives him purpose each day.
And if he needs somebody to sit there and take it for 10 minutes,
damn it, somebody's just going to have to sit there and take it.
And you'll be that guy one day.
There was 11,000 parking spots, right?
Or whatever she said?
1100, 1100, whatever.
There was like four cars in there.
Like, let's slow.
I have a thing.
It says this lot.
It says lot being...
It can't be counterfeit.
It's not paper anymore.
It's digital.
It's, you know, just wave me through.
That's your only job.
Not to sit here and give me attitude.
McDow Creed.
Just wave me through.
Well, that's you.
You said when you got pulled over by a cop,
you would be like, there's no small talk on where I've been or where I'm going.
It's just give me the ticket and shut up.
Yeah, it's true.
It's just when you start dealing with olds at a baseball game, like you know you're in a different.
Yeah.
You're on a different timeline.
There's, the dying one.
So before we get going, Sarah, can I ask about your 7-11 Romeo?
Oh, yeah.
I don't think she ever...
Ghosted.
Really?
Never again.
Have not heard a word.
I'm sorry to bring it up.
How's, um...
Angelou.
He's doing good.
He thought he got approved for Section 8 housing
and turns out he didn't like it.
It was in a rough neighborhood, so he's back to his long...
Oh, unlike the Section 8 housing in Highland Park.
I think he was kind of going for like a good school system,
maybe in Parker County somewhere.
Oh, Angelo really does ask for a lot.
I've spoiled him.
It's my fault.
Is that real?
Yeah.
He got approved for free housing?
And then he said it sucks?
Dude, our show is just radicalizing people so hard.
If you feel like you're not safe and it's in an unsafe part of town,
maybe you don't want to live there.
Like he'd rather sleep outside than?
He's not outside.
How do you know this information?
He said what.
Buddy, I got a weekly call with him.
Okay.
I never knew this.
Ran through it like he was on.
You do a phone call with him?
I try, really try not to.
He ran through it like he was on.
house hunters.
But it was a big day.
This was a little far away from the heart of the city where Angelo's love for culture.
Let's do that.
Let's do a video.
This one is a little more fit to entertain his buddies.
So he's back at the long-term Motel 6.
He's doing fine.
He doesn't have a lot of money left in the month and we still got 20 days left.
You know he's on a $100 a month stipend.
Oh, for sure.
All right.
So that's, he's 10 days in.
He's got, I think he has $8.
This sounds like me in college.
Utilities or the like.
So that's Angelo.
He's doing great.
He's doing great.
Hey, let's do viewer mail with Sarah here.
Want to do that?
That sounds excellent.
You know what band this is?
It's a dumb zone band.
That's right.
Profits and outlaws.
You ever hear of them?
Yeah.
I bet they've played things that Sarah has covered before
because they play like when the Dallas Cowboys players have parties or
gala's and things of that nature.
Dan, did you know?
That's a world you're a part of that.
Did you know that I used to be the music editor at the Dallas Observer?
I did not.
Yeah.
Did you think that you were going to be a lot more impressed?
Yeah, no, I thought I had him with that.
I thought I finally had Dan's respect.
So that's how you know local bands?
Uh-huh, some of them.
Okay.
Do you know who the Toadies are?
This was a, it was very high Toadies season.
It was Toadies, Old 97s.
Bowling for soup?
Sorta, Sparrows, you know, Danny's bands.
No, Dan, not as much as guys don't yell at us, you had success.
No, not bowling for soup.
You don't like bowling for soup?
It's not about like or not.
It's just that she was listing off real bands.
You think bowling for soup is not a real band?
I don't, it depends.
Yeah, I mean, by my own.
I would not have put them in the mix,
but I understand they are from Dallas,
and they were around their time.
Very successful.
And they were very successful.
But you guys are like music snobs.
It's not so much snobs.
They were no future janitors of America.
That's not, that wasn't the name of the band, asshole.
What was your band name?
That one might have been
Five Minutes Stranger.
Ooh, that's a good name.
It feels like an autobiography?
This one comes from Colin.
Listen to y'all's pod from yesterday
and heard someone mention Shannon Stone.
You recall this was in the news just the other day, right?
The Rangers fan?
What was it?
It was the Randy Choate.
That's right, Randy Cho.
Ooh, yeah, same day.
Haven't thought of that in a while, so I googled it,
found this Bleacher Report article and thought this paragraph was very unnecessary.
So I'm going to read you from a Bleacher Report news story
the day after that guy fell to his death at the ballpark.
Ball players throw balls into the stands all the time,
so I don't believe Hamilton can be blamed.
Although I'm confident, his grief at the moment is off the charts.
I believe the blame lies squarely on stone
For a man whose profession as a firefighter is an enduring symbol of saving lives
Stone showed an incredible, albeit final lack of common sense
And who wrote that?
It's from Bleacher Report.
You can see that I, it's from the article.
I know it was 20 years ago, but were we doing that?
were we doing you died but also you were a real big idiot about it i'm sure i was the next day i knew
he's drinking and the headline of the article is shenan stone a senseless loss of life
well could have stopped there but yeah but this is the gawker era you know gawker really
changed the way that people wrote there was so much cruelty and sort of no pulling punches
in both the headlines and the stories themselves you ever a gawker
employee? No, but we, I was
at salon and we had a, we
sort of pulled from the Gawker
pool, you know, a lot of
other publications would pick off those writers
because they were so funny
and they were so sharp.
But everybody was trying
to metabolize that meanness.
You had to punch into this very crowded
internet. You know, it used to be that
like you wrote for your own
you know, local
public, you know, you didn't have to
compete with everybody else out there.
Yes, no, I've made this point many, many times that there was a time where I could get by
as being kind of smart about a number of things, just by reading a little bit.
And then the Internet happened.
It was like, mm-mm-not even.
No.
So Salon, is that where, did you hire Ethan Strauss or you were like his boss or something?
Oh, no, I was, I edited him on some stuff.
He was in the San Francisco Bureau and I was in New York.
Okay.
I mentioned you guys the other day
that there's a number of studies out there
about crime during NFL games
and how crime is typically down
during NFL games
but obviously a huge spike right afterward
and it spikes more based on upsets.
Listener Evan
maybe this is an entire beat for Sarah
said that
friends in the
healthcare industry and personal
anecdote, you want to go to the ER during cowboy games, that that's the time, that people
wait to go if they get injured during a cowboy game.
It's dead?
Like, that's a good, yeah.
Wow.
That's a real chill time relative to the North.
So better than after a cowboy game.
Yeah, and better than maybe just normal.
It's like the best time to go shopping at Whole Foods or Kroger or whatever is during the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
You've ever been to the ER, like, after midnight?
Hmm.
Yeah.
It's terrible.
Yeah, I have.
It's a different part of society, man.
It's a wild west.
Yeah, but she never did overnight.
Does she say there's, didn't we have an ER doctor telling us there's lots of, like, rectum stuff going on?
Every doctor we ever have, they're like, yes, there's nothing but rectum stuff.
Yeah, the Austin ER doctor told us that.
Austin, ER doctor.
And even AC, the nurse.
Can your wife confirm?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's just.
It's just.
I'll come kind of waddling in, like, uh.
Pretty embarrassed, yeah.
And then, yeah, there's a hot wheel in there.
Always a story about how I fell down.
Hot wheel.
Yeah.
If you have to go to the hospital for Hot Wheel, you're not getting welcome back into the gay community.
I think they're going to be, like, you pussy.
That makes you gay?
I forgot to mention that if you were male.
go ahead is brought to us by early bird CBD that one's fine yeah no because they got new
promo code it just started September it is good for 20% off even if you've used our old promo codes
dumb zone 20 so like we've had other they're pretty cool with us they keep giving us discounts
because every time people order a bunch of them they'll come up with another one
but this is the one right now for September.
Dumb Zone 20.
Early Bird CBD is not your grandpa's CBD, Sarah.
It has THC in it.
2.5 milligrams of natural THC.
Also, CBD in each gummy.
Microdose of THC.
So it'll get you feeling right.
Nice at the end of a day.
Great for baseball.
Good for baseball.
So we shall see.
It says here,
some people like to get a little bit
buzz before they go for a hike or hit a swimming hole that's what it says right here does it really
yeah and you've been wanting to do that but no one will go with you a swimming hole
you have a friend sounds scary is no it doesn't it sounds inviting you would love to be in a hole
and swim swimming holes are great what's your problem there and it says uh why are you making
everything rapey because that's what you're doing by saying well how does it sound scary then
We have a wide range of customers from young professionals to moms.
Are you still doing the ad?
Yeah, I'm reading the swimming holes in the ad copy.
So get some of Early Bird CBD.
What's the website?
Or did we already say it?
Yeah, no, you had it.
Early Bird CBD.com.
Well, there you go.
Dumbzone 20.
I have a kite email.
Okay.
Oh.
I was talking about kites the other day.
Yeah.
Not a kite fan.
Not a kite fan?
Me.
I'm just.
What?
Why?
Feels like a lot of mess for not a lot of...
Andrew says, no need to respond to that.
Well, okay, I won't, Andrew.
But as a recently emasculated kite dad,
I want to let you know your take was as bullseye accurate
as any take you've ever had.
I got completely cucked on the $20 Amazon kite
while two beautiful disappointed girls
watched their piece of shit dad unable to make it work.
Meanwhile, 50 yards away is Superdad.
Damn.
Flying the absolute piss out of a super awesome fighter jet kite.
This guy's funny.
An adventure.
He's got a sleeveless shirt, huge guns, great head of hair also.
Horrible.
This is from Andrew.
Damn.
Because I was describing a somewhat similar situation when I was, when my kids were very little, and I took them out kite flying.
Yeah, if you don't, if you're not nailing the kite, don't even try.
Don't get a little limp dick kite out there, man.
And another thing, once you get that.
Here's what I did.
You go get the Kroger kite, and not Kroger, Target.
And then I tried to, like, save it.
Just throw it away.
When you're done with that, just throw it away.
It's, like, because then it's in your garage and it's real, already beat up now.
And trying to use that again, impossible.
Just spend another $20 bucks every kite fly.
That's what I say.
Unless you become, like, cool kite guy with a big inflatable kite.
God, it feels like it would take so much work.
Yeah.
Or are they just guys who, I bet it's just Boy Scout and military guys just know how to do that shit.
And that's it.
Do you not like the kite because it makes you feel incompetent?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Because I love a kite.
Like, if it was the way it's depicted on TV where you're just like prancing along.
Hey, what if you had the experience of messing with a weed eater, except it doesn't, like, weed eat your lawn?
It's just a beating.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But how many times you're just kind of running and then like it gets out, oh, no, no, they're going.
Oh, and then it's on the ground.
Why, Dad?
Why is it doing that?
And then they're looking over at their friend, yeah.
A lot of discussion the other day of the city of Philadelphia after Blake visited there.
I've never been, despite my sort of lust for that city.
And Blake reminded us that they're just really stoked on Ben Franklin.
Yeah.
There's like a Ben Franklin that.
walks around downtown square i didn't see him oh my god he's adorable are any impersonators
adorable ben franklin i love ben franklin i'm so hot for ben franklin go on why this is kind of what
i wanted to talk about because because one of the hottest things about men is just competence
is just the ability to do stuff not this is us with the kite but he put a key on his ben franklin not only
like his first writing thing,
he was writing under a woman's name
because he was so young,
he was like a 15 year old boy.
And he like didn't want,
so he published things
as like a middle-aged woman,
which is just wild.
And then he goes on to great writing prominence.
He's one of the best writers
of all the founding fathers.
Then talk about competence with a kite.
The guy discovers electricity.
Yeah.
Then he invents spectacles.
Yeah, it feels kind of Justin Thore, you know?
There is no.
How's he doing leftovers and tropic thunder?
I swear to God, there's something with the harmonica in there.
Wow.
Now we're talking.
Something with the harmonica.
No, I mean.
He just keeps inventing things, and it's so incredibly inspiring to watch him.
Like, he was a shit dad.
He was a terrible partner.
He was so bad.
He has this tragic story with his son because his son remained loyal to Britain.
Ooh.
And so they have this tragic fond of.
falling out. He was not a good father. And it's really sad, but what he accomplishes is hot.
He's like, he's on my laptop. Like, that's my picture is Ben Franklin.
This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Yeah. Double-click the old mouse.
Ben Franklin. How for Ben Franklin. What can I say? Would you watch Ben Franklin porn if that existed?
I mean, I don't like porn in general, but like would I watch Ben Franklin? Yes, of course.
Because it'd be like the knickers.
Oh, by the way, he was such a ladies man.
Yeah, he was.
He was such a ladies man.
And he basically, like, cruised around Europe because for a while he was the spokesperson for the revolution.
So he would go around places and just be like, come over.
Damn, you know that crushed, that line.
Oh.
Hey, I'm one of the only Americans.
Yes, exactly.
And all the ladies just thought he was hilarious.
And he would get, I mean, in their pants, he was not a faithful guy.
And he had a very dirty sense of humor.
I mean, he's my kind of guy.
Well, so this is why this came up the other day.
In addition to Blake, Blake visiting Philadelphia.
And I want to go back to the impersonator thing.
I still don't.
Even if you love Ben Franklin, impersonator.
There's something weird about the impersonator no matter what.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
I said, I believe he had syphilis.
And a few people in, no, he didn't have syphilis.
But there is this article about denying.
it saying yes he was a known womanizer this is from a history oasis dot com he loved intelligent
and beautiful women and they adored him franklin used this time with these women for intellectual
discourse and networking yeah which is uh which is one way to put it i guess i didn't know that there
were people that were just this slicked up for i've never heard like ever ever you'll hear i don't know
that the Ben Franklin
fetish is, like, widely shared.
Okay, well, more than Mary.
I just happen to have it
bad for him.
Okay. That's great.
Founding father I'd most like to bone.
What'd you get syphilis?
Well...
Yeah, what if he had syphilis?
I mean, you know what? You know what?
The most erotic organ is between
the ears. I would just talk to him.
Ciflis makes your brain
all crazy, too.
yeah i once looked like him so uh hello dan and jake i want to make you aware of a new play that is
debuting a month from today at theater three in dallas anybody know what that is yeah it's in the
quadrangle okay why is it three then well it was theater there was whatever it's just smaller
the play is called the trade a tragedy in four quarters
it's about the Luca trade
story
that's actually a pretty good story
hopefully enough time is past that y'all might go see this
could be a fun dumb zone event
or at least something dumb zone subscribers
could attend and score some points
with their significant others
by having a fancy night out at the theater
a little preview blurb I guess
what can you expect from the trade
laughs. It's very funny, says playwright Matt Lyle.
The show is part over the top, epic Greek tragedy, and part irreverent sports parody.
Versions of all the major figures are there.
Luca, Niko, Mark Cuban, Dumonts.
Fans, be leagered, Mazz employees, beer vendors, Medusa, everyone.
So.
Who's playing Luca?
I don't know.
All I have is this email that was sent to.
to me.
Aet and Diggs.
But it sounds like you'll be finding out when you interview people involved with this.
Sure.
I'll bet you go see it.
There's no doubt Sarah Heppala will do this.
I'm definitely curious.
And I feel...
You're like the culture person at the DM, Dallas Morning News, right?
One of them.
People and scenes is more my deal.
But I just feel bad for the person that's playing Luca.
Because I feel like everybody's going to go in and just be disappointed with that person.
Somebody has to play like Hitler.
No, it's like the opposite.
They're just going to be disappointed because they love Luca and this guy will not.
I think of Nico in my head, yeah, that's a tough one.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, like, you would just sit down and be like, oh, that guy's not Luca.
Like immediately.
Because no one is.
Exactly.
No one is our chubby little buddy.
So we had the game the other day with the delay for lightning.
And Dan was really upset because we couldn't see the lightning.
So the delay
I was upset there's a delay
They've gotten like really touchy on that way
Thank you
Yeah we were debating
You're saying back in my day
We were debating
Back in my day
We would you know
Stand with a kite
Until we discovered electricity
Right
What if they had told Ben Franklin
No you can't be out there
We'd be sitting here right now
In the dark
Right
Right
Yeah we were wondering
Whether or not
Like just being chill
about dangerous weather
would be ushered back in
with the cultural
the cultural wave.
There's so many other things
people are cool with.
Yeah, we have,
kids are still passing out
at football practice
because of the heat.
So maybe that's back.
So you're going to put the image up,
Clayton,
the viewer male one.
There was actually a dude.
We've done this story before,
but it's nice to be reminded.
Ray Caldwell,
who played for the Indians
back in 1919.
Is this a story that was in
a lot of your,
You're like, boy, wacky sports notes when you were growing up.
Shruck by Lightning, finished the game.
Don't!
It says there, finish the game after being revived.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's what they put on the graphic.
Yeah.
Struck in the ninth inning, finished the game.
Pitched a no-hitter some 17 days later.
And now you can't even play football in the rain.
And then the next year, won 20 games pitching.
Yeah.
Did he get struck because he's on the mound?
Yeah, the elevation.
Yeah.
That's primarily the main danger, I think, is the mound.
The music bed you guys were yelling at me about on Friday?
Yeah.
Got an email.
So I was playing this music bed and these guys are like,
where have I heard this before?
I'll play it for you so you can try to see.
This person says, I'm almost positive.
That was the bed that pre-teens.
Blake used for his musculoskeletal ad read.
Well, the only way to know is to hear that.
No, it's not.
So here is the, I think this is the music bed you guys had a problem with.
I had this music bed playing, and these guys were very upset.
Sounds like a hold music.
Yeah, it does.
But it sounds familiar, right?
It sounds like I'm laid on my cell phone bill again.
Yeah, definitely.
My damn, just come on.
Okay, so I do have...
In spectrum wireless, we are committed.
So when Blake was very...
Your call is very important to us.
Extortion.
Over a decade ago, Blake started working for Argyll High School sports, right?
And so he voiced some spots.
And if you think Blake sounds like a little kid now...
Yeah.
Over a decade ago, where do I have the orthopedic associates?
Is that the one we're looking for?
Probably.
Okay.
Let's hear, Little Blake.
Uh-huh.
Since 1976, orthopedic associates has provided all-inclusive orthopedic services and expertise to Flower Mountain Louisville.
With eight board-certified physicians and orthopedic specialties, orthopedic associates offers a full spectrum of musculoskeletal care, along with in-house physical therapy.
How do you like it?
Very good job.
My heart, it's so cute.
Oh, yes.
It's so cute.
First of all, I thought it was me at first.
What every man wants to hear.
Then I thought it was B. Arthur.
It was so cute, Blake.
I love you.
It's little Blake sitting there.
I want to, like, cuddle it in like a little, my little bosom.
I think it might sound like Ben Franklin, what my life sounded like.
That one didn't have music.
I want to give it a little milk bottle.
Not it.
Since 1976.
Oh, damn, what did you try to do?
Sound cool?
Yeah, of course.
I've done this last year.
With eight board certified.
certified positions and another board eligible
physician.
So you added one.
Turn on the Lincoln Park filter.
So you're like, what if I put music under?
I might not sound this bad?
Yeah.
Did it work?
I think so, yeah.
Oh, man.
And state of the art technology,
including our digital imaging and open MRI
and an on-site surgical center
for more patient can be.
So isn't it cool that he had all the time in the world
to make as many, like, takes as he wanted
and he still, like, kept this?
He nailed it.
What are you talking about?
Orthopedic Associates offers a full spectrum
of musculoskeletal care.
Musculoskeletal care.
That was clean as a whistle right there.
Clean as a whistle board, certified surgeon.
All this in one facility.
Oh, I can't believe that.
I'd butcher the next thing.
Along with on-call availability.
I wasn't editing a lot, so I just had to, I nailed everything up into that point.
Were you using a, what's the one program I don't want you to use?
you're using audacity of course it was free
all this in one facility
along with on-call availability
24 hours a day seven days a week
enables continuity of care
close to home so that's continuity right
experience you can trust wait what did you say
enables enables continuity
of care close to home
continuity
first 70% was fine
enables
it enables continuity of care
close to home
Blake where were you
In my room
Like your bedroom?
Yeah
And like did you have like
You know I used to hold up my laptop and do this
And try to create little echo around
And like I was a sound cloud rapper
Wow
Geez
There's no doubt Blake wrapped in the mirror
I love that
Of course
Daniel writes that
How can Blake complain and weekend check
About there's a rehab place
Next to the Betsy Ross house
All right
You said that is indicative of our culture.
Yeah.
Like this is where American history was made,
and then now in 2025, here, you got a boo-boo, go here.
When he considers a vacation to be a trip to Granbury or some shit
and refuses to get a passport.
So I don't know what...
How does that all relate?
Yeah, I don't know.
What's wrong with Granbury?
Yeah, there you go.
Just an hour from here?
Sir, did you ever have...
City motto of...
Granberry. What's wrong with
Granbury? What's wrong with Granbury?
Dude.
Big respect.
So did you ever
have an eBay phase?
Uh-uh, no.
But, well, when
I was doing the cheerleaders podcast,
I got actually super into it because they
have a lot of 70s cheerleader paraphernalia
on there, and it's really
cool, because I love the 70s just
aesthetically, and I love those ladies. Those are my
favorite cheerleaders. Didn't you buy him
a football phone off eBay?
No. It's not a
If you're off eBay, it's Dolly Python.
What are you saying?
I'm saying a very cool store.
Oh, that's here in town?
It's in town.
Yeah, yeah, I knew it was a thrift store.
I haven't, I live in the suburbs.
I know, I know.
I know.
I know.
It's in East Dallas.
It's super cool.
There's one in Oak Cliff, too.
Dolly Python.
And I was wandering through it, and I was like, these guys have to have this phone.
Yeah, it's a Doritos football phone, celebrating the Super Bowl.
Evan, we were talking about eBay the other day.
I had a phase, I guess.
Blake never did, really.
eBay?
Oh, yeah, because you were a baseball card kid.
No.
No, I had definitely had an eBay phase.
In fact, Killer and I, a long time ago,
found probably like 200 of these office phones
that Cumulus was getting rid of.
And so we set up an account to sell these phones.
These guys, they seriously did have like a little
the office style relate,
the little schemes they would come.
cook up together.
Acts like he hates him, but you guys are fencing phones.
He's sold six or seven.
But of course, like we found them.
We were like, these go for like 30 bucks.
Like, we could make a lot of money.
God, the beaten engineer life.
Evan in Kansas City had a memory of basically finding a set of golf clubs.
Try to get it back to the owner.
owner doesn't live at the address anymore this is like 25 years ago back when you could fly cheap
sell the uh post sell ship all the clubs on ebay you make 350 bucks had buddies in san diego
you buy the flights you get there all you really need to do is buy booze and herb for the week
and uh you're done because of ebay and i remember doing stuff like that somebody had like uh
somebody had like a hot tub online that we were trying to buy and it was like a seven
eight hour drive and we had hatched up this plan to go get it like you needed to rent a trailer
the eBay just like opened up the possibilities of like what you could go get what you could
go sell like we were scheming on eBay quite often now that I think about it not really
successfully but did you get that hot tub
ended up
and we were up to like
it was a several thousand dollar bid
too
because the deal was
you would get a lot of these deals on eBay
where the deal was you can have it if you come get it
so it would be like way cheaper
so then we would spend the time up until
when the bid would close like trying to figure out
I do remember guys like picking up like
four wheelers and shit like that
if you can get it
you can have it
the hot tub proved to be a little bit too much
I was always really intimidated by the bidding aspect of eBay.
Like, I think that was scary to me.
So I liked it when they introduced the, like, one purchase.
Like, just buy it.
Like, okay, fine, I'm done.
I never liked the idea.
The competition, I think, was maybe that's why guys.
I've known a lot of guys that were really into eBay stuff.
They're like, oh, I bought this truck in Florida.
I got to drive down to Florida.
It's like, was there not a truck in Texas?
I almost bought the mutt cut van from Dumb and Dumber.
Really?
One night.
How much was it?
Probably like 17,000 or something in there, right?
The mid...
More than the hot tub.
10s, like 10 to 20,000, somewhere in there.
And what happened?
This is many years ago.
It was the very early 2000s.
And...
But weren't you going to have to go get it also?
I think so, well, the main thing is it was New Year's Eve.
And I was doing a show with Bob Sturm.
I know him.
A little Bob and Dan show back then.
Were you at the ticket yet?
Yeah, I wasn't with you guys.
It was the old building, yeah, but you worked around us.
Were you?
Okay, T.C. wasn't yet there.
I may have been an intern.
That was right.
But I remember what you guys were.
would always do New Year's Eve.
We would always, well, we did every Star's game for 14 years.
And so, I can't even believe that I did that.
Dude, I think about it all the time.
I would be at every home stars game, and I would do the postgame show.
Like, can you imagine me driving downtown now for like?
You would literally have to get a place downtown.
For four games.
Yeah.
Anyway, so yeah, it's New Year's Eve.
And we did a show that day as well, like whatever, noon to three or if they threw us on for the afternoon drive, whatever.
The point is, somebody had emailed us and said, hey, look, the muck cup cuts van is for sale on eBay.
So we talked about it all day, and we got listener donations that ended up equaling, like, I think the price at that time was like $15,000, but we got donations of $19,000.
to help buy this for us.
That's a beautiful story.
So we had $19,000 to play with.
And the whole press box was gathered around our computer the whole game
as we are bidding back and forth with somebody and blah, blah, blah.
And at the very end, someone grabbed it.
Like we thought we were winning.
We had like this bid of night.
We had all the money, 19,000.
Somebody swoops in with 195 and takes it.
And then what happens is like the time runs out and then the timer, yeah, there's a timer and it's like 10 minutes left in the bidding, whatever.
And everybody is get like media members, everybody from the stars, we're all into this.
And then waking up like the next day, such a relief that we didn't own the Muttcutt van.
Yeah.
Like could you imagine like we'd have to go get it?
Where are we going to store it?
Insurance, taxes.
Does it drive?
Does it drive?
Repair it.
It was the original van.
So it's 30 years, however old it was, and I was so happy that we didn't win it.
But the juice that night, it was incredible.
And I was so upset that we lost it.
It's very funny, too, that it was, like, around the holidays, and it's not like, hey, let's see if we can get everybody in on this charity thing.
Right, no, no, so buy us the Munk Cups fan.
See if you could ride it off somehow.
So did we ever settle where that music bed came from, the hold music?
No.
It's still playing.
Nah, it's a different one.
I think we'd settled this internally.
It's from the Open for Business video.
What do you mean?
Let's hear.
Hi, I'm Dan.
And I'm Jake.
And?
I'm Blake.
And together we're the dumbzo.
So, yeah, I knew I'd heard that a hundred times, Clayton a thousand, since he made the video.
Okay.
So our old video that we put out when we were allowed to take advertising
Yeah, so that, yeah, it's something that lands to us
But I'm with Sarah, the one you played initially, yes
It sounded exactly like every whole music ever
Look at Jabba the Jake
That wasn't that bad
It's fine with me
I know, because you look great now
Of course it's fine
Whatever, I don't know
That's like Blake listening to Little Blake
He's like, alright
But I still sounded like that
I probably kill myself.
That much better.
Are we done with your mail?
Sure.
Okay.
Well, let's, we can do the news.
Yeah.
And it could be brought to us by Factor Meals.
Ooh.
Welcome back.
Welcome back indeed.
I love that.
Just keeping tabs on the spots.
You guys know I'm a huge fact.
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Here's Jane with the Dumb Zone News.
Told you guys a story the other day of the kitten
that was found
with a dart in its face
why would you laugh at that
you son of a bitch
what
I was just letting the room
calm down
why am I a son of a bitch
no no him
these guys are over here laughing
they
I thought you were the one that giggled
no
so there's not much
in the way of details
in this story
but an arrest has been made
so you knew the second
did you got to shoot you got to do something else besides a kitten if you're trying to get into your animal cruelty game like if you're a aspiring serial killer or whatever yeah kill a squirrel kitten people are gonna that's not good that's like a white girl and aruba you cat better natalie holloway type thing bad idea cat's better yeah yeah cats start not dog that's pretty dangerous no but ferret you want to get your uh
bloodlust, kill a ferret.
I mean, if the story was...
If you have to kill an animal, we're not saying you should.
Possum.
Does Cynthia EasyGerry even do the story if it's possum found with dart in eye?
Or do they put it up and they're kind of like,
that's kind of funny.
Could I get you to wear high heels and stomp on a ferret?
I'm talking to Zach.
You ever heard of Crush Films?
It's a thing
Yeah, it's a thing
Dudes would watch
Like just a
You don't have to show your face
You can make great money doing this
So they just see your leg
And you're wearing high heels
And you just got to like
Just step on a rat or something
Just some kind of small animal
Yeah 100%
And then you got to kill it
No no no no no
No no no no
They're fired up about that
I think they start out doing it with like a banana
Or like a cherry or something
Oh yeah
Like watching it, yeah.
I mean, what, so I've heard.
That's a little foreplay?
Yeah.
Banana foreplay.
Yeah.
We move up, but you don't ever get the kitten.
No, you don't.
You shouldn't.
Do the kitten survive?
The kitten did survive.
Thank you.
The kitten did survive.
You know, we were, T.C. was talking like a pirate now?
Yeah.
Miao.
I bet.
T.C. found something the other day called pedal pumping pole.
which is
It's individuals, females, you don't see their faces either.
I guess it's an offshoot of a foot fetish,
but it's just women revving engines.
Yeah, it's...
Barefoot.
You know how I learned about that?
A hot rod that they are...
In 2001, I wrote for a website,
and my bio said I like to drive barefoot.
Wow.
Because I did.
Chumbed the waters a little bit.
I had no idea.
Yeah.
And so I would get these solicit.
from gentlemen that were like, could I have a, you know, it's 2001 too.
You know, we didn't have iPhones.
I have some pictures of you driving barefoot or whatever.
And I was like, why?
You know, I had no idea.
I eventually had to take it out of my bio because it was, it was unintentionally provocative.
Sure.
Anyways, I don't recall how we started talking about that.
What's the weirdest thing?
Like, is that the weirdest thing anybody's asked you for?
Not at all.
No, there's no way.
There's no way.
Well, on Tinder, it was such a wild west for a while, and people would put in their, in their
bios, like, I'm into gigantism.
And then I'm so curious that I'd be like, well, let's match.
And then I'd be like, what's gigantism?
And they were like, well, I like being squashed.
Yeah, like videos where the woman's just, like, you know, giant.
Like, honey, I shrunk the kid style.
Wow.
The erotic side of that.
So he liked big ladies to sit on him?
But to be crushed.
He was like, are you big?
And I was like, I mean, I'm five for two.
And he was like, I don't.
Hang up.
He was like, I don't know that that's going to work.
And it was really interesting to me because he was so sincere about it.
You know, he was just like.
Brass tax.
Brass tax.
I don't want to mess around here.
I need to be crushed.
And you don't seem like you're going to do it.
And I was like, well, I'll get into it.
But I always, you know, I think.
part of me was like troll I was in like doing a lot of personal essays so sort of like trolling
for interesting things but I was also like genuinely fascinated by this cabinet door to the
erotic psyche that had been opened by Tinder it was just so strange that all of a sudden
it was like oh wow okay so people are really into smelly feet like some people would say like
I want smelly feet yeah oh yeah for sure you
You know, what do you think there's like, God, I'm only into regular, I'm only into regular good-smelling feed.
I'm not some animal.
I don't know, man.
Yeah.
It's wild.
Like the stuff that Sarah, Sarah's DMs have to be way different than dudes, you know.
Well, no word on whether or not this was an erotic dart hit on this kid.
Oh, yeah.
We're back to the cat story.
No, the kid got hit with the dart.
They've arrested a 45-year-old man.
Intentionally like...
Forty-five?
Yeah.
Wait.
I thought it was like a 13-year-old.
You know how hard it is to throw a dart and like hit it like a bull's eye?
Absolutely.
It was an accident.
Oh, it was?
I'm guessing.
It's not, I mean, you know, it's...
We don't know.
How do you get arrested?
Yeah, arrested for an accident?
It doesn't sound like an accident at all.
He was arrested for cruelty to non-lifestock animal.
It's a third-degree felony, not even a misto.
So you're just trying to get the cat to stop doing something,
so you throw that at them.
But you're a freaking ex-man.
But you're an asshole.
Yeah.
It's like throwing a shoe at a cat.
Isn't there like a dart league, like on ESPN?
Of course.
Yeah.
Is this guy like a prospect now?
He's like the natural, you know?
Shadow fighting for her life.
It's the beginning.
Looks like she's just laying there and not really fighting.
It's true.
It's the beginning of a Nicholas Cage film.
He's the best.
Yeah.
You guys know what they do to...
And he's in prison.
They have to get him out.
They got to bust him out to make sure that he can win the ESPN dart championship.
Oh, man.
This guy's going to the slammer.
You don't want to know what they do to guys who throw darts in kids in prison.
It's the worst.
Mess you up.
So I've seen this story sort of spiraling out of control a bit online,
and I'm hoping Sarah is plugged in on this one.
that she's like the anti-woke.
I am?
Yeah.
Okay.
I thought I was just a journalist, but okay.
There's a Texas A&M class, right?
Oh, I do know about this.
Okay, good.
You can help me then.
So there's a class, a children's literature class taking place at Texas A&M,
and there's a person in this class, a student who objects to some of the materials that are being
taught in this class and then I think that's when they start other people maybe also start
filming and from there I haven't watched this I've just read it yeah I watched the video this
morning okay so basically it's a children's literature class where there they're for some reason
there is a lesson about gender and I don't understand why but it's it's something like you know
this is part of children's literature and so this person is saying that the video begins in the
middle of it so you don't know what the teacher said but the person is saying i object i think that
what you're teaching us is against the laws of texas and it's against my religion and the professor
says well you can't deny my my reality and then the student says but i think this is like
illegal or something and the professor says this is definitely not illegal and if you have a problem you can
file a complaint and the student says I have filed a complaint and the teacher says yeah that's why
we had so and so you know observing us the other day and basically it gets a little bit more heated
and then the professor says you can leave if you you know and so she says yeah I'm going to
so that's the video and there's enough in there that you can tell that the teacher has given some
lesson on gender and then is bristling at the idea oh because the the student says you know the state
of texas says there's only two texts two sexes and the teacher's like you can't tell me that
well the teacher has been fired oh uh i knew the academic that's what i mean i guess so the
when i read it this morning the teacher hadn't been fired yet um it was that basically this
the dean of this school, they'd gotten together and basically decided, hey, I know this is what
the laws of Texas are. You go ahead and teach your, you know, in the name of academic freedom,
you go ahead and teach your class the way it makes sense to you, is what my sense is.
Yeah, I believe the governor actually called for the professor to be fired. Right. So not yet,
but I just want to say it's really weird to just show up at college, regardless of what your
politics are you are i feel like a huge dork if you get to college and you're just like i'm gonna get
here to film my teacher and be like you're not supposed to be talking about that and i'm gonna tell
the people in charge of it or whatever like jesus christ we've lost the kids
yeah it feels like i don't know it doesn't matter left right you're gonna interface with some
shit you don't agree with but narking on your college professor like you're a dork
am i the only one that thinks it's such a weird really weird that there's a college class on children's
literature? No, because, you know, there's going to be people who teach it and, you know,
they want to know, like, what's kind of behind this, I would think, and how do we talk to kids
about college? In college? No, I mean, you're training to be a, I don't know. At A&M, it's not,
but it's not a teaching class. It's a children's literature class. I just, to me, I just don't
understand what this class is doing. Like, are you reading Dr. Seuss? What are we reading?
I mean, yeah, there's probably, yeah, there's going to, there's going to be a, you know,
Adults talking about children's things and the themes they're in.
But, yes, it may be weird.
I'm not paying to take it.
But I also think it's a really dork move if you do pay to take it.
And then you show up and you're like,
these syllabus is out of bounds of the state of tech.
This is the weird thing to do.
It's college.
Yeah, to like no.
Shouldn't you be excited if it's illegal?
Shouldn't you be like what we're learning is illegal?
Yeah.
That's how I would have felt back in the,
the 90s is like this shit is not even legal yeah at some point that's that's what you're
hoping for in college uh well you got to do this story for blake every single time the fort worth
zoo has welcome two new lion cubs blake names um let's see givante and miles
You guys remember
whatever they named that
Giraffed after Jason Witten
and it died like 10 days later?
Why is, why are you laughing?
Why are you laughing?
No, I do think it's interesting
just from Dan's standpoint of like
how do these things end up like news stories?
You tell us, does the news just say
every time there's an exotic birth
of an animal it shows up
they just sit out of press release and it shows up at everyone's...
I know a little bit about this.
Home page.
Let me tell you something about zoos.
They have unbelievably well-oiled PR teens.
It seems as such, yeah.
And as soon as they have a baby, because all the zoos are just like waiting to have good news.
They've had bad news for so long.
It's like, you're cruel to animals.
The da-da-da-da-da.
They're just like babies, babies.
And so they send out press releases to every single,
publication and what we know as news people is that people will click on them so it's just it's a
sort of everyone wins situation so it's click bait and it also makes the zoos feel really good
well makes me feel really good too uh we go to uh another college story here this is very
shades of marshal henderson the uh former sharpshooter for l d
Bell and Ole Miss.
A University of Texas student is under fire online for pretending to be an unhoused person
on social media.
They say for the purposes of an experiment.
What school?
UT.
Also the phrasing, under fire online.
Yeah.
To me,
it means nothing.
It means this is not an actual story.
And we're pretty lazy.
for even turning this into a story because we just saw this on Twitter and now it's a story
to us back in my day um no because what will happen here is the same thing as what happened
in the story we were just talking about is it ends up online and now it's a matter of is this
person going to be expelled for this is this person going to be it's the same as haircut i guess it works
It's the same as the story of the Karen cutting, the hair-cutting baseball stealing lady.
Yeah, I mean, it's online, but if her job thinks she's a bitch and they want to fire her for it.
Yeah, maybe they already kind of had her on the list.
We're like, hey, look, now you're going to be fired, and we'll blame this thing, but it's not this thing.
But I wonder if you can get away with this from just and actually do it as a college experiment.
it like I'm doing us to see if I could do something provocative online to see if I get expelled
no I'm more meant just be homeless oh just document the experience of not having anything
and this guy didn't lose his fantasy league or no he did not leave because isn't that on our
list of possible we might do that I mean Jake that that sounds like a journalism experiment
that I've heard people do like back in the a aughts they would like go and
And live as a homeless person for three days.
Yeah.
But you would never know about it.
Guys, do you remember Soulman?
Oh, yeah.
Are we talking about the movie?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
They used to run it on Comedy Central nonstop.
And then Blackface is like, I don't know.
And, dude, it is the funniest, okay, as far as blackface being funny.
It's like the whitest looking guy, right?
It's the shittiest black face.
Like, it's so comical.
It's so bad.
comes hell.
Yeah.
Ah.
Outsiders.
No, I just, I enjoyed it.
This story is interesting to me, just like I said, because there is value, I think, in showing, like, somebody saying, this is how it's what it's like to live like this.
And you teach people.
And you say that it's a social experiment so that you can also laugh at it, which is all we're doing for $100 a month with Angelo.
getting the comedy by saying
Listen, we're actually helping this guy out
But I don't think there's anything to be critical of
Like as far as the
I don't know
Nobody's going to get cancelled over this
I feel like we're done with cancel
The thing is that
There's too many opinions
There's just too many opinions
And we don't know what to do with them
And so the news is in a bind because just because everybody's making noise on Twitter,
does that make it more newsworthy?
Or should you dig in your heels and say, no, we're not going to cover it because we don't do that kind of thing?
But by virtue of the fact that it's so big on Twitter, they made it news.
So who's deciding what news is is sort of like a big shit show in the 21st century right now?
We don't know.
I would agree with that.
The tail is wagging the dog.
I don't.
I would agree with that.
There's your news.
Imagine if you had cameras, cell phone cameras,
and you were in college.
The dumbs don't news.
Like, Ansems rock.
That was a good news.
A girl scrolling DoorDash in class the other day,
and somebody in the row behind her just took a picture of it and uploaded it.
And I'm like, man, you can't even just scroll for deals during class and peace.
Did you see that guy that got...
that tried to slide into the DMs of that Ph.D. student.
And then she basically posted all their correspondence
and was like, men need to get their shit together.
Don't tell me he, like, killed himself or something.
No, she got, she, she, she, but it was weird because she got absolutely, um, pounced on.
Got to be careful out there.
For making public the DM?
Yeah.
Gotta be careful.
He had basically made it clumsy come on.
He had said, you know, hey, I saw you at this event.
And he very quickly was like, I read your dissertation, but I don't agree with it.
And she was like, okay, bye.
And I guess they were both Hagellian philosophers, which makes this totally intolerable.
But anyway, he was like a big deal, Higalian philosopher.
It turns out that she was sort of trying to give him some sort of reckoning.
and all these people came and defended him
for basically making a clumsy come on.
Climsy guys are back, Dan.
All right.
Oh, and by the way, if it makes you feel any other way,
she included his name in it.
So his handle was in it.
So you knew who he was.
Which I thought was totally unnecessary.
But it was just a clumsy come on and not like a...
Oh, no, he just said, I don't like your dissertation.
Like, he was trying to start a conversation
by saying, I don't agree with your dissertation.
Yeah.
That he was like, AI is da-da-da-da-da-da.
Galian thought is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
What an idiot.
You just agree.
And she just said, oh, you're not getting in her pants that way.
I agree.
And she just said, okay, good luck with that.
And then she.
I'm also really into religion.
Like, whatever, just say whatever you guys.
Exactly.
I can skateboard.
Yeah, exactly.
But then she posted it all and was like.
Jake's like, I'd love to go out partying with you.
I'm not drinking right now, but yeah.
Right, yeah.
I've just, I got a blood thing going on.
Yeah.
It was interesting.
That reminds me of an underdog fantasy.
Higher, lower?
That's kind of the way you can pick.
Playing underdog is easy.
We need to do a couple.
You pick whether your favorite players will go higher or lower on stats,
like touchdowns or receiving yards or interceptions.
I'll take the George Pickens over, or excuse me.
The George Pickens higher.
Higher.
Higher.
Yes.
Higher.
And then you put George Pickens over.
George Pickens against another, let's say, number two receiver from another team.
You're going to say that one lower?
Or lower, yes.
And then you get your picks right.
You can win up to 5,000 times your cash.
And you could start with as little as $1.
You can download the app.
It's Underdog Fantasy.
And sign up with the promo code Dumb Zone, all one word.
And you'll get $50 in bonus funds when you play your first $5.
I'm going to do that right now.
and I'm going to place it all on higher for M. Helman.
Take this thing all the way to the house.
I might go M. Helman lower thinking that M. Helman has gone.
Dude, you're trying to doze this M. Helman fire?
I'm not.
I'm just, all I'm doing, I'm not trying to douse it myself.
You know when M. Helman gets hot, that you're taking promo codes and.
Okay.
You go to underdog and we'll face each other.
All right.
This next part, it's pretty long.
So everyone wants to stick with me.
Must be 18 or over.
19 or over in Alabama and Nebraska.
19 or over in Colorado for some games.
21 or over in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia,
and President of State where Underdog Fantasy operates.
Terms apply.
See As, no way.
See Assets.
Dot underdogfantasy.com slash webs like.
Go there.
There's no way.
I'm supposed to read this.
I'm going there, bro.
Does it say read it?
Listen, if they go, they go.
You got to read it.
The promo code is dumb zone.
That'll get you 50 bucks off.
Boy, that is a long.
When you play your first $5.
Terms.
It's not financial advice, but Imroffle.
Yeah.
Em helmet.
Em helmet.
Imhal is out of the league, I think.
All right.
A different sport.
Game day, men's health presents.
Don't get a gambling problem.
On this day, in history.
I think that's mostly what it says at the end.
Yeah.
Jesus.
So we're doing a little today in history.
Ooh.
You want to do that, Sarah?
I love today in history.
All right.
I love things that you love.
Aw.
Get my soup.
Like Ben Franklin?
It is Wednesday, September 10th.
Yeah, do you know our bit for today?
So at the Rangers ballpark, Global Life Field.
you know someone you know that someone has referred to you as milksheds oh yeah yeah it's
we had a new one this week sarah's golden globes i like that do you like that one do you
sign off on that i absolutely do although i have developed an affection for milksheds and i found
myself in your reddit page last night unfortunately but what i know i know i know but and i did cry
But I came back because somebody has named themselves milksheds,
and I felt very honored by that, that they chose that name to represent them.
Well, the Rangers allow you to bring in your own food.
Sweet.
But only if it's in a clear plastic bag, and the clear plastic bag is limited.
It's only a quart.
You can't bring in a gallon bag.
Oh, no.
You can only bring in a court.
So we've been asking people to join us.
Jake brought soup.
Yeah.
You can have some.
If you want to have several bags.
Okay.
But it's in the car.
Maybe Dan and Jake are the only people that are doing to do this bit.
What are you going to do that bit?
Oh, okay.
We got a sandwich back there.
Three bags of meat.
Three bags of meat.
Oh, that's so cute.
We didn't know.
Like, would 30 people show up with bags, whatever?
What are you going to do?
brought salmon and broccoli and rice.
Dude, with a suit.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Are you going to throw?
You're not going to throw it, are you?
I'm going to eat it.
I got spoons.
I brought this to eat.
I'm going to take my lunch in the game.
I just want to make sure it wasn't like a dildo situation.
No, we think this is.
I also wouldn't throw the dildo.
I got other things to do with that.
That's what I'm saying.
You keep that.
Sure.
No, yeah.
I'm just, I'm just taking my lunch into the game in a bag.
It's cute.
Anyway, it's a September.
It's a good day for it, too.
It's beautiful out there.
You know, September 11th?
Do you know the September 11th is the last day that Jake ever had an alcoholic drink one year ago?
No way, September 11th?
He's going to get his chip.
Why are you doing it today?
I don't know.
You get a chip?
Oh, because you might fall off tonight.
I was with him that day.
No, he was.
You might fall off tonight if I mentioned this today.
No, this is insurance.
This is insurance.
He cannot.
That's too shameful.
I told him. I told them. You've had enough. You're throwing your life away.
Yeah, that's not, yeah. It is very funny that I was with heart attack. I just mentioned it to Sarah because I know she's a fellow degenerate.
Yeah, former degenerate. I thought you're always a good.
Yeah, no, it is. It's a chronic condition. What was that?
He saved me. He can help you too.
Oh, good. Thank you.
Okay, so it's Wednesday, December 10th.
This day in history in 1960?
It's September 10th.
Didn't I say September?
You said December.
Did I?
We just want to make sure you're not giving us December 10th.
Yeah.
Do you remember?
Fail us like this.
You never know.
An Ethiopian named Abibi Bikila, probably.
Ran barefoot through the streets of Rome,
winning the first Olympic marathon held at night.
number one
and also he was the first
black African to win
the
marathon in the Olympics
so there you go
so he just had like South Africa
Sarah weren't you dating
an Ethiopian for a while
yes half Ethiopian
who is this
is a heart attack man
it's a friend of ours
I don't know why he's here today
usually he's on our last show
because Sarah is
oh thank you
heart attack
Yeah, my last boyfriend was half Ethiopian.
I was laughing about this yesterday.
I'll bet you dinners were cheap.
I was kind of thinking, but...
The origin of how we got Marathon, the guy ran the 24 miles or whatever and then died.
And then to celebrate him, we now see how fast we can do it and live.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
And what was this person's bid?
The first black African?
That's right.
So was it getting just...
run by South Africans before that?
I don't know. I don't know.
Have you ever visited one of those places where they think it's weird when you run?
Like, I had a friend that worked in Costa Rica for a long time,
and they would all gather and watch her run in the mornings.
They were like, why the wet lady's running?
Like, they thought it was really funny that you would run without anything chasing you.
I'll bet you they thought it was funny.
On this day in 1971,
Golden Richards, he was a player playing for Brigham Young,
returned five punts for 219 yards,
and seven kickoffs for 247 yards against North Texas State.
Damn, punt returns rule.
The mean green.
Just punt returns in general?
Yeah, you know, it's just not, they don't make them like that anymore.
One of my favorite pictures from the 70s of the cheerleaders
is them hanging out at this club with Golden Richards.
and you can just tell the rules
haven't cracked down on the cheerleaders yet
and like shit is fun on the cowboys.
He's a very hot man.
He's a very hot man.
He's not the one who exposed himself to the kid, right?
Exactly.
He's not the one who exposed himself.
I don't know that name, but if you said it, I would know.
Renzel?
Lance, oh, is it Renssel?
Right?
That sounds right.
Yes.
Yes.
On this day in 1972, the U.S. men's basketball team,
team lost its first ever Olympic game, controversially to the Soviet Union.
This day in 1989, it's five days after he hit a home run for the Yankees.
Dion Sanders returns a punt, 68 yards for a touchdown in his NFL debut with the Atlanta Falcons.
Again, punt returns.
Where are we out of the Olympic calendar?
Is something coming up?
Like, do we have an Olympic this year?
Yeah, what's going on?
Probably.
What's the next big thing?
Well, every two years now, right?
So Paris was last summer, wasn't it?
Have we straightened everything out from COVID?
So there's no Olympics this year.
I think next year it'll be the Winter Olympics.
Everyone's in agreed.
Thank you.
Okay.
Olympic Dan.
And where is it?
Bala.
Italy?
Sochi?
Nobody knows.
And on this day in 2016, John Hinkley Jr.
Oh.
Was released from a Washington Mental Hospital.
for good.
He is the guy who tried to assassinate President Ronald Reagan in 1981,
and he now walks among us,
and I believe, has a music career.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, he needs to see if he can get booked again,
because I think he was trying to get booked during the peak of what, you know,
quote-unquote, the social media cancel culture era,
because venues would book him,
and then they would get bombarded with negative reaction.
Negative stance.
And then he would have to cancel.
But I don't know
I think the coolest thing about that guy
Didn't what's his Jody Foster say
Like it was actually kind of
Kind of hot
No she never said that
She never said it was kind of hot
Wasn't she saying
I think she said
I think she said it's just really flattering
Yeah
And on this day in Dumb Zone history
September 10th
We've only done one show on September 10th
It was back in 2020.
We mocked Mark Jackson because he came up with his own short word.
Rebes.
For rebounds?
No.
Rebs.
No.
27 points, 10 Rebes.
It's bad.
And then this was, I guess, a bad stretch for the California wildfires.
Did he call it cysts?
Cists?
And today we found out that one of the wildfires was started by a gender reveal party.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, that might have been kind of where things ended.
Yeah.
You don't hear about it as much anymore.
Today's birthdays, Joe Noondike is 59.
Spell's last name.
Do you remember doing this?
Yeah, but it's been a minute.
N-I-U-W-Y.
Okay.
That's post-game show right there.
That's right.
Charlie Waters is 77.
It hit your heart.
I don't have an age, but it is Evan Grant's birthday.
Evan Grant from the Dallas Morning News?
Oh, it's a good day, Evan.
I love Evan.
Do you?
He's such a munch.
He's so great.
He's a good dude.
Does he ever get Hansy?
Never.
Don't.
He's a total gentleman.
He has with me.
That's not the question to ask.
The question is, has he ever defended your honor on someone?
social media.
Yes.
Way more of the...
He has?
He has.
He will.
How so?
Um, well...
Somebody come after.
I don't like Sarah and...
No, it was actually more in the internal Slack channel.
Internal Slack channel.
Go on.
No.
I shouldn't tell this story.
But basically there was a fight going on amongst the staff and I put my neck out and
said what I thought.
And it just sort of sat there in the Slack channel.
You know, like nobody's liking it.
Everybody just kind of like, you know, and there's like the Sergio
the silence is definitely it was awful and then Evan slid in and was like I agree with Sarah
and I was like oh my God thank you Evan and I texted him and I said thank you so much
that's what he was going for need a guy no that's not what he was doing for and then he asked you
to step on a banana in high heels you guys Evan Grant is the best and I love his wife he's such
a good dude yeah this all I mean I mean it's refuting that yeah he's you're
The occasional banana high-heel request does not mean you're not a good dude.
I bet we could find that right now.
Randy Johnson is 62.
He's an athlete I love.
Bird killer. Yeah.
Because he's almost deformed like ugly.
Like he's terribly ugly.
But he's an awesome...
You know who I hate?
Troy Aikman.
Troy Aikman.
Why? Because he's gorgeous.
He's so hot.
He's already the best athlete in school.
He's the quarterback.
He's the shortstop, and he's the hottest guy.
If you're going to be that great in this area, give me something.
You need to look like Ben Franklin.
Look like Randy Johnson.
He compromised on the looks.
He looked like an ogre.
And if you're a great athlete.
And Troy Aitman is a mountain.
He is a mountain of a man.
He's incredible.
Joey Votto is 42.
Paul Goldschmidt 38.
Ben Wallace, 51.
Ben Wallace.
Ben Wallace
Yeah, that lady's just crushing feet
or crushing fruit with her feet
Oh yeah?
Yep
Clark Johnson is 71
I think he was from the wire
Wait, who was he in the wire?
Was he?
Lester, no?
I was thinking maybe he was Lester.
Let's see, what does it say here?
He was Omar.
No, he wasn't.
Omar has passed.
R-I-P.
He was the kid that killed Omar.
Gus, yeah, you would bit player.
Who's Gus?
This guy.
That's Clark Johnson.
Yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right.
A couple music birthdays for you who claims to be this big music editor.
Big deal, big, big deal.
Matthew Falwell, 41.
Never heard of him.
You know who that is?
Kings of Leon.
Oh, I love Kings on.
Wait.
Oh, wait.
Wait, I interviewed that guy.
So you went from never heard of him to actually...
And I had to interview him for this...
I woke up on top of him.
He called Nerve.
No, wait.
I think it was his brother, Caleb.
But anyway...
The greatest ticket stock songs.
I did it for this site called Nerve
where you had to ask sex questions.
It was so embarrassing.
Because you had to be like,
so what kind of women do you...
I always felt so cheap doing it.
But he was like...
I remember at the end, he was like,
thanks for the sexy questions.
Questions.
Oh, gross.
Ew.
People from Oklahoma.
Here's a banana.
Thank you, brother.
I think nerve is off, you know, because it's not online anymore.
But see if you can find it.
Sarah Hepblad.
Don't you have, like, your way?
The Wayback machine?
Yeah, because you found some stuff that's been long gone.
Oh, J stuff.
Oh, this is great.
I also have my little AI voicemaker, so maybe I could just recreate this.
Wait, do you have it?
It's not opening yet, but I found it, yeah.
Oh, God.
Which country has the hottest one of it?
It's so amazing.
You guys, I needed the money.
I was a freelancer in New York.
You're not telling me shit.
I'm not judging you at all.
What's your opinion on tagging?
No, it was like you had to ask him about groupies and stuff.
I remember this band, Dr. Dogg was like, yeah, we're not going to do interviews with you.
Good.
And I was like, that's principled.
I felt so embarrassed
musician
Robin Goodridge is 60
I don't know if it's a girl or a guy
the name Robin but it says here
Bush
Wow
You're anti-Bush
No I'm just saying I know Bush
The band
I bet you do
Okay
I saw they once open for Tool
I saw Bush
Who else was on the
Bill?
Well, there was another show where it was corn, but hole open.
Right.
Movie director Guy Ritchie, 57.
He's hot.
Do you look like BF?
A little bit.
He's got a little BF energy.
Actor Ryan Philippe is 51.
Philippi?
Yeah.
Philippi.
I thought he was going to be like George Clooney when I was.
I was a kid.
Because you saw Cruel Intentions, and you were like, that guy.
Dumb's own birthday of the day is actor Raymond Cruz, 61.
Tucco.
Tucco.
He just got arrested, right?
From breaking.
Oh, he did?
Yeah.
No way.
Yeah, he squirted some little girl with a hose.
Yeah.
What the hell does that mean?
Sprang water at women.
What?
Yeah, no, it's true.
How do you get arrested for that?
It's really weird.
There must be more to that story.
They got off in her face and went tight, tight, tight, tight.
Damn.
What are you surprised the guy?
Well, for squirting a person with a hose, yeah, if he got arrested for, like, you know, meth or something, that'd be great.
He was.
Maybe it was a power washer.
He was washing his car at home when a young woman would not get out of his way.
He asked the young woman to step aside when she didn't.
he sprayed her with the water hose
get arrested for that
yeah come on
what do you mean yeah come on
no I'm with you I don't
oh okay I thought you were saying
somebody just said it happened to him
you got arrested for squirting someone
from a bar
you got arrested for squirting someone
from a bar
with a water pistol
because you were seen
or because somebody filed
that's ridiculous
don't play around
Man, if this is a world where squirting is illegal, I'm not sure I want to live in.
I feel you.
Born on this day now dead, Waldo Seaman.
He invented vinyl, the world's second most used plastic.
Not everybody could see what was possible.
The semen could see what was possible.
We got it.
Roger Maris, born on this day now dead, as is drink inventor Arnold Palmer.
Yeah.
Dead on this day, still dead.
Oh, this will be a good one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Died on this day in what year?
This person, I won't try to even pronounce his name, is the last person executed by guillotine in France?
died on this day in what year was France's last guillotine?
Yeah.
Is the question.
I have an answer.
I have a guess.
You have 60 seconds to come up with your answer.
It seems like a bad radio idea.
Yes, 60 seconds?
We could probably...
Oh, okay.
Two seconds.
What's your answer?
1955
190010
1909
I'm saying 1843
I'm saying 1850
Hamida
John Dobby was the last
person executed by guillotine in France
in
977
and I don't know
but it
It feels like they broke it back out for a new threat.
You know what I mean?
What was that name again?
No.
Hamida, Jandabi.
Way.
Is this like a Gary Gilmore thing?
Picasso could have attended.
Yeah, a Tunisian criminal.
So is this like one of those Gary Gilmore things where they broke out?
You remember he decided he wanted to be killed by firing squad.
So they brought that back for him.
Maybe.
Let's look.
In the 70s.
because he wanted his death to be the most sort of
like they gave you
get the metal they gave you
options and he wanted his to be the most brutal
so that it would kind of make a statement about
the act
boy this guy was a monster
why
he did some bad stuff
it's bad bad bad okay they're like
we got to get the guillotine
let's make sure
damn
shout out France
They say the head
Like even if it felt like you'll remain like kind of conscious
That's a chicken
No no no like a human seriously
For 17 minutes afterwards
Yeah and you can carry it around
Nobody thinks this
Yeah yeah it's not true
They got a video of it
Yeah no one ahead took my job
In those seven minutes
I was forced into the game
gig economy by a
no but what I do hear about
what I do hear about guillotine's is that it doesn't
go through in one slice so you have to
keep you have to keep
chopping it
and that's
really brutal also died on this day
Ted Steppian
of the rule of the rule and Fritz von
Eric
oh that's like a local
person that people care about
but she's just so dismissive
and that's what happened
What are the Von Error?
What do they do?
Have you seen Ironcloth?
No.
Well, it's because you didn't grow up in Dallas that you didn't go to the Sportatorium.
So, like, all the dudes that grew up in Dallas that are our age went to the Sportatorium
and, like, knew what a big deal it was to go see the Von Erick's.
And they would do like pizza.
What did they do?
They were wrestlers.
Oh, okay.
That sounds great.
They would do Pizza Hut commercials.
No, Pizza In.
For Pizza Out, it's Pizza In.
And it was a Von Erick's, and they were cool dudes.
You're not going to get it.
And they all died except for one.
This is like watching someone in Quicksand.
Get to actually see it.
So closing remarks with Sarah Hepelow brought to us by Frankel and Frankel, our personal injury attorneys.
If you happen to spill your soup from your bag and your lap on the way home, you could do an accident.
I suggest calling the Frankles.
Are they going to sue you because you gave them the soup?
No, I'm just saying you're in an accident.
This is the point.
You're an accident.
You're hurt.
Now, if you were at fault because you were eating soup while you're driving,
that's probably going to, they might not be able to help you.
I feel like you should still call them.
Okay.
Even if it's a cold soup, like a gazpacho or something?
Yeah, they'll fight the insurance companies for you.
If you're a sicko?
Yeah, they'll say, look, it was a cold soup.
That's why you can't blame this person.
You've got to blame the semi-driver.
That's right.
They'll play the blame game with sprinkles.
214 or 817 and then dial all threes.
Thank you, Frankel and Frankel.
Are you ready for some baseball?
I'm ready for some baseball.
What do they say?
What's the baseball song?
What is the baseball song?
Is there a baseball song?
Let's get ready to play ball.
We're talking baseball.
Do you know that song?
That sounds like basketball.
This sounds like the Curtis blows up.
Anyway, how many games you've been to do this year?
This is my first.
Okay.
But I went last year to see Rhett Miller sing the national anthem.
Okay.
So I've been to Globe Life Field before.
Did he fail?
No.
Did you give it a thumbs down?
He was great.
Were you there to review it?
Did you give it jeers?
Yeah.
Cheers or jeers.
What are you writing about right now?
Oh, you know what I'm doing on Friday?
I'm going to a high tea with Sarah Ferguson.
the Duchess of York
because she's coming to Dallas.
Did I just render you everyone just asleep?
Say it again?
Sarah Ferguson.
So what does that mean, Duchess of York?
What are you then?
Is she going to be the queen?
She used to be married to Andrew,
the one that got snagged up in the whole Epstein shenanigans.
Nice.
But back in the 80s, she was kind of on Team Diana
in terms of not fitting in with royal family
and she had like eating disorders.
she eventually became a spokesperson for either Weight Watchers
or Jenny Craig, I can't remember.
I'm looking at the ladies.
I'm like, who was it?
See, I always tell these guys back in my day,
our ladies had eating disorders.
100%.
Now they got all big butts and stuff.
Yeah.
No, you've probably been thrilled to see the transition back, though.
We're going back?
Well, it's just like, whoa, I mean.
A little more meat on the bone is what he's saying.
I'm just saying every other, like three out of
every four girls in our high school had anorexia.
Oh, it was a contagion.
He was upset that we started celebrating thickness in women at all.
That's right.
And now that culturally, with boob back, but seems to have to take a back seat,
which is ridiculous to play the zero-sum game.
Right.
But that's...
We've only got enough room for one, right?
Yeah, but that's where Dan comes down on it.
Anyway...
Did I tell you guys the class hierarchy of this?
Yes.
Oh, I did.
Okay.
Well, go ahead.
Well, it was something that somebody said on Twitter, I found it real fascinating,
which was that, like, lower classes are really, like, non-college educated are really into the butt.
And middle class are...
But there's way too much cross...
Okay.
Let me just say...
Factor.
Let me just lay out the hierarchy before you criticize it.
And then middle class are really into the boobs,
and upper class are really into the legs.
Okay.
And, you know, I realize.
I accept what you said is law.
I think it basically, I think it, except it it is flawed.
Law.
Oh, law, yeah.
Well, I think it basically plays out like that, like that there's a Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
So it's just sort of like.
Are more middle class guys into you, you're saying?
Maybe.
I have a nice butt, too.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
I'm out.
I'm out with the rich guys.
The 1% are just like, get her out of here.
it's an okay you were telling us what you're writing about but now we're just
petering out Sarah Ferguson Duchess of York she's coming to town for a charity thing
high tea what do I wear da da da da da da da da da so tea you're going to have tea so it's a high
tea 12 locations right it's a game day men's self if you want high tea just mention the
dumb zone brain fog is a thing yeah testosterone
The testosterone, the testosterone treatment.
It was cute because the woman that's putting it together said,
well, she's calling it a high tea, but we just call it lunch.
And then she keeps texting me, and she's like,
the ladies are asking if you should wear gloves,
so I googled this for you today.
Gloves.
And so then I click the link and it's like, should you wear gloves to high tea?
You know, and then it's an AI thing that's like, you could.
It could be fun, but take them off before the lunch.
So everyone's stressing about this whole royalty thing,
even though it's really weird.
She hasn't been married to Andrew for, what, 30 years?
But we still call her Duchess of York.
By the way, she used to be called Fergie.
So when she called the paper...
Black-Eypes.
So when she called one of the people of the paper and said,
do you want to cover high tea with Fergie?
They were like, from the black-eyed peas?
Yeah.
And she was like, no, Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, don't you know?
So, anyway, that's what I'm doing.
and then I just had a big story come out
about the story behind the $34.5 million
mansion in Highland Park that got built.
Just recently there's a mansion was built?
Yeah, it came out on Saturday, yeah.
Who built it?
So it's got in...
Who's going to live there?
Well, so it's being sold right now.
It's one of the priciest new homes in Texas right now.
But it just turns out, like, I clicked on the link
on the Dallas Morning News to be like,
oh, what asshole developed this house?
and then I was really taken aback because it was this guy Blair Pogue,
who was my brother's best friend from high school.
And so I knew the guy, and then his father ran Lincoln Properties,
which is sort of the real estate empire that began the village
and kind of helped to shape modern Dallas.
And he had been the third son.
So it's sort of this succession story that I told about trying to get out of a great man's shadow
throughout most of your middle life and finally making a big move,
but his father died last year.
so it's a good story it's doing really well um are you speaking of friends in high school are you still
friends with like the law and order lady stephanie march okay you write she write about her in the book
but you don't really give her name i just call her stephanie i think yeah i don't think i'm a big
law and order guy did do you remember well aware of her sure do it was like in the SVU or not
SVU is the other one right with you yeah she was Alex cabot on SVU okay so he used to make her like
take off her glasses and be like
we don't have a case
so it was like
her signature line
it was cute too
when we were in New York
like guys
you
like you
okay
so we would come up
drop your pants
oh that's cute
when we were in bar
it was fascinating
when we were in a bar
in New York
this guy came up to her
for like advice
about a DUI
and she gave it to him
she had really good advice
I've learned most of what I know about the law from all the law and order, you know, vehicles.
If your victims are special, you're covered.
Thanks to Sarah Heppelin.
Thank you.
And the Golden Globes.
And Lowe's.
For stopping by.
Oh, and Lowe's.
Anything you got?
Thanks to Dave and Jared.
We got Baldi tomorrow?
Yeah.
Baldi and Picks tomorrow.
All right. Big day. Adios. Mofo.
We got to go before this becomes a zoo.
Thank you for watching my video.
Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video.
down to Texas and gave them a new name.
And never since that time, they just haven't been the same as they're called.
Texas Rangers.
They've grown with the Metroplex.
They've made a lot of friends.
Yes, on and off the field there.
The World Series in Texas will now be here at last all be called.
So come on all you people joining all the fun.
Be part of something where you are number one.
Let's all get together and get behind our team.
My voices will unite as the stands begin to sing.
The eyes of Texas are upon you all across the American League.