The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 9-10-26 | Week 1 of The Brandon Aubrey Show and Deez Picks

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

Get every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to the show at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneExciting times! The NFL started last night with confirmation again that Drake Maye isn't any good and it's week 1 of The Brandon Aubrey Show and Deez Picks. Come smell up the football with us (00:00) - Open: Patriots-Seahawks (16:59) - The Brandon Aubrey Show (44:23) - Deez Picks: Week 1 (01:17:43) - Big Thursday Viewer Mail Bag (01:53:09) - News: Emmitt Smith in hot water (02:09:53) - VM Birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm professional broadcaster Dan McDowell, letting you know that you were about to hear one of our free podcast. But if you'd like to subscribe at dumbzone.com, you'll get four shows per week plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus sods like our business Wednesday interviews. So, if you forgot how to use the 15-second rewind, that's dumbzone.com to subscribe. Now, on to today's program. What are we doing there? Sorry about that. That's okay. That's how we start our Fairleaf spot

because Brandon Aubrey just got a Fair Lease vehicle. Did you know that? I did know that. It might be on the gram yesterday. And many more people will also soon know that. It's a tease for Sunday night's football game. Here's a tease for what you need to do to get your vehicle situation in order. That's called 972-705-4815.

ask for Connor or Nick or go to Fairlease.org. Fair lease is not a typical dealership. There's no dealership. You can just surf the web and find your next vehicle right there online. Also not a typical dealership because they are owned by the credit union of Texas. There's no haggling. There's no big bank they have to go ask. They're community focused.

They're going to help you get the car you want. And that applies to your business as well. They've helped a lot of our friends in the commercial space. So hit them up at Fairle. Fair lease.org. Fair lease, when you don't know what to do about a car, because car stuff is hard. You don't need a dealership, baby.

Happy Thursday. If you celebrate it, be football. I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jake Kim. I'm Blake Jones. I'm Booty CK. Intern Henry is here as well, doing stuff. Looking confused.

And we are off. It's football. Have a happy football. We have football. I was thinking if we ever did a... I was thinking about the Soros and how they haven't really done their bet payoff and stuff. But if we ever did their initial thing they wanted to do for a payoff, they said they would do a 24-hour stream.

Wouldn't that be great? Like one of those... You would do it on a Sunday where they have the game in England or something. You know? You could just kind of watch football because... Wall to wall to wall. I was thinking, you know, why aren't we doing a stream starting at noon on Sunday so we can watch Baker? You are certainly free to do that.

And in fact, I would encourage you to do so. And then just sit in my high atop of my garage. Or maybe I'll just do the Baker. I'll be out. You can do the cowboy game that night. That's fine. Everything will be, you know, we'll just cover everybody. I mean, for me, I probably would do mine on the first day of the baseball playoffs,

just so I could be locked for the whole, especially that first weekend, you know, any of those days. Would you actually sit through a whole game if you were on a live stream that you just had to do something? I still think you'd turn the channel. I think you're crazy. At some point. I think you don't know me and how much I love baseball.

Especially this time of year. Today, the Brandon Aubrey show will be today. So I just wanted everybody to know that. That's going to come down in a few minutes. Like, he's starting, I don't know, he had kids stuff. He'll tell us, right? He's going to join us today in like 10 minutes or so. That's exciting.

And today is also D's Picks Day, our first day of Picks. Things are happening. Things are happening. We're putting out fires. Do you think we've putting out fires lately? Tomorrow we will be at a fire station to honor 9-11. We'll be at a fire station. I don't, I guess you can probably...

Blake thinks that's fake. I don't know that they're all... Blake, you're up thinking 9-11 didn't even happen. Some of you have seemed to have forgotten. Yeah, so we're going to be there tomorrow to remind you. I don't know if people can come by or not, but... Oh, yeah. We'll be there honoring.

So I did watch the game last night. That was fun. We had a prior engagement, so I had to wait until like 10 p.m. to start it. So, but I, and I knew the outcome. And I still was just like, God, just to sit down and hear Toriko and Collinsworth. Ah, Mike. This world feels right. Drake, man.

I mean, just took so many steps as a young player. Now we're giving them a real receiver to throw to. Don't be overreaction guy. What? Yeah, I joined late. I joined 10-0 Patriots. Him early. I know, but Drake May.

Drake May is going to be awesome. already been to do a Super Bowl, Mike? No Darnold, no A.J. Brown. What is this? Yeah. Oh, Mike, there's no Darnold. People are going to tune out. Everybody loves Sam Darnold.

We could talk Darnold in a second. I saw something or heard something right out of the gate that really, really tickled me. Tell me if this reminds you guys of anything. This is when the national anthem was about to start. And now to honor America with the signing of our. National Anthem, please welcome Fred B. And here to perform the National Anthem, Pearl Jams,

Mike McCready. We'll go back to the start here, but this evokes memories of one Dick Stockton. And now, to honor America with the signing of our national anthem, please welcome Fred B. The way he leans into mixing up the N and the G in signing and singing. No. He wasn't introducing the sign language

guy? Oh, I'm a dummy. Yeah. I thought you were yelling about that. I thought it was a sign language guy. I wasn't even, I wasn't even tracking that. So then he introduced the music guy. But the thing is, the music guy didn't sing.

He played a guitar. Did anyone sing? No. Okay, so I was not immediately. The singing was signing. Okay. Then I'm a dummy and this is funny, but it still gives me an excuse to play Dick Stockton. But I didn't see a guy doing sign language.

I just saw a guy with a guitar. Do they still have to sign the guitar anthem? I would think, yeah, I would think, if they are going to make such a point to tell you that there's going to be a guy signing the language or the song, you should probably then put the camera on him. Okay, I'm a dummy. I'm sorry. I thought we were getting a, not just a look on graphic.

Do you want to slip in a, uh, Right now, this is brought to you by Early Bird, CBD, because someone emailed a gummy thought about the signing last night. So we're doing viewmail today. Excellent. So Early Bird CBD.com. It's got the THC in it. That's why we like it. It's 20% off if you use the code Dumb Zone, all one word.

Even if you've used another code before and you're like, well, that one expired. You can use this one now. You might not have ever thought. thought of yourself as a prepper, but it might not be a bad time to shift into that mode. Oh, because the laws are changing. Who knows? The weather's changing out there, Mike. So yeah, earlybirdcbcbd.com.

If you take a drug test at work and you want to fail, then by all means, earlybirdcbd.com. Promocode is dumb zone. We had a viewer mail. I'd like to signify that with a little viewer mail bed. and he wrote it said WHL slash Gummy Thought Dear Viginosaurus Rex is the sign language person

at the in stadium performances at WHL it's not like people sitting anywhere other than the front row directly facing them can tell what they're doing so it's all performative yeah also I swear the guy at the Seahawks game did the same sign for like five completely different words so is he really signing anything or just dancing

Okay. How would anyone know? The people it's for can't hear what words are being said to compare it to. They know the... And most people who can't hear don't know ASL. Or who can hear, sorry. So how do they pick them? The person picking performers doesn't know what they are signing

or if they really are, quote, saying anything. So it's just a dancing performance? I guess this is really the dumb zone. And your listeners are D-Fs, because I don't know. Well, one of the problems is people have slipped. through the cracks before. Like, we've had people get on TV at major press conferences and basically just be doing color guard.

Right. If I just, if I have a resume and say, hey, I do sign language, how are you going to test that? If there's a guy that tells me that he's cleaned my air filter, how do I, like, I'll just nod. Yes, I bet you did. I don't know. Well, I think Clayton also made a great point. So you got ball sacked by yourself somehow? they're playing the song, do they sign like G-flat, E-sharp, or do they, we're not hearing the words.

So why would they be signing the words? That doesn't make any sense to me. So I thought I had one. Again, it's performing. And you know, oh, look at us. I would have seen it on social media if it was real. So I'm the only dumbass in the crowd. But it definitely made me think of a couple things.

I think this is one of them. A Watauga police officer fired over his personal website on MySpace.com won his job. today but then in a strange twist jason reddick got suspended just 30 minutes after getting his job back and hec 5 scott gordon joins us now with his story scott it's a strange case no doubt okay now right earlier this evening we told you about a wataga police officer who had been fired then rehired for something found on the website well we put the wrong perones picture during the introduction to that story and we uh that or that should be another mistake there the wrong person's What is going on?

We apologize for that error. When I heard... Well, that's what you get was small town news. No, that was the nightly news here, NBC 5, Dan, Mike Snyder. So when I heard, please join us for the signing of the National Anthem. All I thought was Peron and then this. 14-yard penalty. Phil's second down.

That was the rookie Cam Robinson, and that's a critical penalty. Well, coming up on the Visa halftime report, Kurt Terry, Howie, Michael, and Tony look on graphic for the final two bullet points. Well. He's just reading words. You're supposed to listen to what he says. I got two quick things and hopefully be interrupted by Brandon. The first is I'm a fitbit guy.

I know, are you still whoop? No. I will go back, but. Oh, you're down in the dumps? No, well, I just know that I decided at the start of. the year, this is going to be a year where I don't sleep much. Like I knew at the start of the year, I'm taking improv three hour classes every week. Now it's two classes a week. I'm doing these open mics. So rather than see it and be annoyed and gosh, I know I'm getting unhealthier by the day.

It's not going to work. Okay. So I still go do my like an in-body every month. I like ignoring things. I get my in-body test every month. What you can do at Game Day Men's Health, where they'll give you like your body fat, your skeletal, whatever. They'll give you your stuff. I do. do that every month, and that's it. For now, because I know I'm just not sleeping. I haven't weighed myself, I think, in three years. Damn. Just to avoid it.

You're in decent shape, now. I don't want to know. I agree with you. Because it seemed like every time I started a diet, I'm like, okay, I'm going to start at this point, and then a week later I'd gain two pounds. Like, what the F? I'd rather not know. To be a fitness asshole.

That's all it should be about. Are you feeling good? Yeah. There you go. And yeah, I don't know. Go do an actual in body. Well. Go to game day.

You'll feel better about yourself. If you have like a higher pound number but you like see that it says, hey, you're chock full of muscle, bad boy. Mm-hmm. Then you feel good. So I'm a Fitbit. That's not what it says to me. Don't get checked.

I like the Fitbit because I don't, it's really small and I don't need, you know, all the apps and technology. I just want something to track steps, heart rate, and a very small thing on my wrist. Well, it got bought, I guess, by Google Health. And when you update the app, and now all of a sudden it wants to send you notifications that I never signed up for. And this was from a few days ago.

How do you think I felt reading this? A fair night's sleep. This was a mixed result that might not leave you feeling fully energized for the day ahead. Yeah. All right, thanks. I'm going to have a great day today. Right. You don't want to read it.

No. I go back and forth because I know that it's accurate because I used to drink a lot while wearing a whoop. But I've seen studies where people say that there is a major placebo or psychological effect to it. Like they can trick people into thinking they're feeling better. So I'm somewhere in between. I know the data is real. And especially like what if you exercise yesterday, you got to bed early and all that,

and then it's just telling you your sleep sucks. Like what can I do now? Yeah. I'm doing everything I can. And now this watch is telling me that I suck. Well, it's telling you it's going to take more time to regulate your sleep. Because you can't just all of a sudden be like, oh, I'm sleep good now. You have to do that for like a week and it'll work.

Dude, I used to be obsessed. You're so bought by Big Whoop. I was obsessed with it. Yeah. Go doing the analytic insights. Regional stats on it for a while. I was scoring very highly. My strain score over the summer was lined up with NFL players that were wearing Whoop.

And it was a point of pride for me. So I got to somehow disable those. The other thing is I got an established the run gift. Sometimes, you know, you put enough good energy out in the world. It returns to you somehow. And you remember the Stanley Cup was all, like every single female on this planet had a Stanley Cup. Yeah. Do you know what the new one is?

A Walla. A Walla, yeah. I had one. I have one too. It's nice. It's a subtle straw. The straw doesn't come out. You go to It.

I like that. Anyway, it's nice. It's just the cup d'jeure. You like it growing in your mouth? Yeah. Yeah. Totes. So I got one.

Of course, the wife just senses it's in the house and now she wants one. So she ordered one. They sent her eight of them instead of one. Oh. Kind of like your adapter bit a few years ago. You ordered just one adapter and you got 50 of them. giving it away last year, yeah. So as established the run guy,

paying for $200 value. Paying for one Oala, having an entire case of them shipped to us, and she asked, should we send them back? Oh my God. Well, she should maybe get a penalty. Yeah, no. But you.

Behind the chains. Hell yeah. I got a Nauala for my office, got a Nala for my bedroom. Sure. Maybe one at each... That's what you should have. He wanted each school in the district.

I'll bring you each one if you want it. I have floss in every room in my house. That's what you should have. You go to the bathroom in one of them? Sure. KJ sent us a story to the group chat this morning. They're having to ban those at schools. Owallas?

All of them. Why? Because they're weapons. Oh, yeah. Every kid now has like this dual-layer, huge insulated cup, and they're just being hit with them in fights. We waiting? Go for it.

We're good. Okay. Oh, okay. Clayton's giving me sound effects, but not about Brandon. He's beating people with his awa. No, he's doing the steps. Three back, two over. Pulled pads down a little bit.

It is indeed time for the Brandon Aubrey program. Community Mechanical, CommunityDFW.com. 469, 66777290. phone number Brandon once called to get himself set up with a HVAC. Anyway, hello, Brandon Aubrey. Hey, guys. It's been a while. It has been a while.

I really like the theme that we had there, but I heard another interview that Brandon did over the offseason. And I'm going to just submit this for a possible new intro because, you know, Dan and I talk like this, bumpkins, fools. Heathens. Yeah. But we could class this thing up a bit. He's a human being who became a remarkable professional athlete in not one but two sports. This man dominated both footballs in his lifetime, all the bloody footballs. First, in MLS, where he became a central defender, rising as high as Toronto FC, but then found his true calling.

As a Gent Sports Illustrated called the Undisputed Best Kicker in the NFL with your Dallas Cowboys. In this story is a true tale of perseverance, failure, self-reflection, grit, rise, betting on oneself, and also having a thunder bastard of a foot. Please welcome one of your own. It's Mr. Brandon Aubrey! Oh my God.

I'm hyped. We're not giving you that. Where were you? Where was that? They say thunder bastard? Yeah. It's many blazers. It's a man of a foot.

I don't know what that means, but I'll take it. Yes. He was very complimentary. He knew my entire story, almost all the details better than I remember him at this point. So he dug up everything I'd ever said and turned it in with a positive spin for me. So I was very delighted with how complimentary he was with me. Called you a gent. Yes.

We've never called you a gent. No, that was cool. Was it live somewhere? Yeah, it was like a World Cup countdown thing. They had to Marcus Ware, Emmett Smith, and Brandon Aubrey. Hmm. Yeah, that was cool. It was cool.

I didn't meet those guys in the back room. You had never met those guys before? I'd met to Marcus Ware, but not met Emmett Smith before. But anytime we get a chance to talk to players of that caliber, former, current, got to take it all in. So it was a good 20 minutes in the back with those two, just asking them about their time and, you know, kind of small talk about what's going on in their lives now.

DeMarcus Ware might have been the nicest pro athlete I'd ever met until we met you. He is a just a super super. I just want to hug him. Yeah, he's a great guy. Yeah. Well, it's here. Did you watch the game last night? You know, I didn't.

I was putting my son down. And then by the time that was done, it was kind of a rough night for us. So got in bed, turned on the first quarter. And I think I fell asleep in the commercial break after. after Donald got hurt, which was the first drive. So I caught up with just looking at stats. Seems like it was an exciting end, you know, low-scoring game, but exciting into the football games.

Yeah, it's tough to judge with Donald not out there, but the timeline was full of people like, oh, I guess these guys, the argument over whether you need pre-season or not, whether there's, you know, how do you play into shape? But I imagine at this point you feel locked. It's like this is as good, this is as good as you're going to feel. Yeah, I'm ready to go. I've been, you know, preparing for a long time.

It feels like the offseason drags on forever, especially with OTAs and that big gap and training camp and the preseason games. Yeah, we're ready to go. A specialist kind of joke that we're opposite of the rest of the group where we kind of want the extra game and get rid of the preseason game. Because we're at the play in many ways. Might as well get paid more for it. So, like, during the preseason, are you like a pitcher who works up into his top velocity type thing?

Do you start off, you're not kicking him as far as you can, or what? How does that all work? I don't know. Without kickoffs anymore, there's not a whole lot of demand for just smashing balls. Even when you're hitting the 60-plus-yard field goals, you're not really doing that in practice, but maybe once or twice a week just to, you know, kind of see how the leg feels. But you don't want to practice smashing balls

because it leads to bad habits. And yeah, so I just kind of practice, you know, in my 80% range, which is where, you know, 95 to maybe the 98% of your kicks falling. So if you make all those, then the ones that are a little bit longer just are bonuses for the team. So, yeah, I don't know if it's similar as, similar as pitchers.

I'm not sure what their training regiment looks like, but we definitely are on a kick count all year, monitor that closely, try not to go over it because then, you know, the body starts to get on fatigued a little bit too fast, and it's hard to recover once you get, you know,

a little bit too fatigued, especially in season. So try and always stay under that curve possible. Explain the kick count. What does that mean? Yeah, so like, you know, pitchers have a pitch count that go out and I don't know if it's explicitly stated or not, But once they hit that threshold, their managers are talking about pulling them the whole time.

So for kickers, I don't know if everyone does it, but I know I've heard of it. And for me, I'm going out and practicing. And even if it's not feeling right, I cut myself off at a certain number just so I don't go into that range of fatigue and kind of steal from tomorrow for today. And, you know, that's probably even more important when it's not going well. You don't get frustrated and lock in whatever you're doing that's wrong. So kind of just, you know, cutting it off and like, okay, wasn't good enough today. Let's think about why and look at it in the film and then make our adjustments tomorrow or whatever the next kicking day is. And then as long as you're fresh, you have a good chance of correcting it pretty quickly.

Okay. So in your mind, you have a, I've kicked 50 balls or I've kicked whatever, you know, you're. Yeah. Closer to half that number than. In a day. Once you get all warmed up, like the day we went out to do some filming. You said you could use that as your. Yep.

You would double dip on that. That'll be your kicking. So you, once you get warmed up, it's 25 kicks. Is it from a certain distance? Like, when you say 80%, are you just kicking from 45 yard? Like, what is your, what's a regular? I'm just practicing. 80% swing takes you back to like, you know, 61-ish, 62.

And then, I mean, if you miss hit, like off your toe from there, you're going to be short. But if you hit clean contact, it'll be good. And so I'd say you have to bump it up. If you're swinging at 100%, I feel like you're likely to hurt yourself or spray the ball. So probably just add 10% to that and get to 90. And then wherever that maxes out is what you have on game day. That's what your line would be. But no, I never go outside of that 80% zone in practice, really.

So you have days in practice, you say. you're not feeling right and you're not going to work it out because that would overdo your leg. So you're going to keep your notes and next time out. Do you have any game day where you're like, man, I don't, this doesn't feel good. I know I'm going to have a bad game. Well, there are days like that when you don't feel like you have your A ball. But instead of just grinding through it until you find your A ball and kind of destroying your leg. And even if, you know, it works and you figure it out on the day and you,

got it for that day and then the next day you're just your legs and tatters and you're not to be ready for next week. We just cut it off and kind of remind yourself, I'm a professional kicker. I've done this a million times before. Had a rough warm up. What did we do wrong? We made contact this way. Maybe our hips were firing a little bit too fast. So you don't want to overcompitate for any of that. And for me, each kick is a single individual event. So try and focus on my keys. What what I'm telling myself is important for making contact. And if it didn't go well, last rep, that's irrelevant. This rep is what we need to do is this exact same thing as what we need to do last wrap. And you just kind of take small mental notes of if you're doing something

wrong consistently, okay, then then you make a small adjustment. But on game day, for sure, capping my warm up, pretty light warm up. And I try not to even, focus on anything other than figuring out the wind and if my ball flight is straight. And then from there, you know, in warmups, I figured out where the ball is moving. I got my body moving. So then when I go out for a game rep, I'm like, okay, now I know how to play the ball. And I just go through my normal keys for hitting a clean football. And if I hit my line, it should go in.

Do you ever get, you ever go find the other kicker from that team stadium and be like, get some tips on kicking? there? No, I wouldn't trust them, whatever they say. Even among the specialists. Yeah, no, no chance. So, uh, rule changes. Last year, uh, we, we over, over doubled the return rate, Blake. Mm-hmm. Blake doesn't like the new kickoff. I love it. It feels like football to me. So, uh, it feels like everyone stands still. Hold on. Now go. You realize that is the basis of the game. They also

stand still and then when the ball snaps, they all go. Yeah, there's a snap, not to wait for the guy to catch it. So they changed the, there's a couple more rule changes this year. Some of them minor. Reducing the number of people that have to have their, on the receiving team who have to have their foot on the line goes from six to five. Minor change, but is that, I think it's a safety thing. So do you know any, have they talked to you guys about this at all and any plans for it?

Yeah, gives the coordinators a chance to, play around with schemes a little bit more. The less strict the rules are, the more different formations you can see. So there'll be new formations. There'll be new alignments. And it's just like with all new rule changes this year, they'll figure out what works better than what, than the other thing. And then they'll run that more often. Yeah, I can't say I know exactly what's going to work or not. My job's just to kick the ball into a spot they tell me to. So hopefully I don't have to make too many tackles. The loophole has been closed.

The one that kind of gave you an incentive to intentionally kick it out of bounds after the penalty. Yeah. And aim for the cheerleaders head. We did have that one in preseason, which was nice. We just smack it through the back of the end zone for the same. Put the ball at the 20 anyway. So that makes more sense, I think. And then we can onside kick without, you don't have to be.

behind anymore. You do still have to declare, but you can do it anytime. Yes. Yeah. I really miss the surprise of the onside kick. That's totally safety? Yeah, I mean, I don't know how you do a surprise onside kick with, yeah. You can't really do a surprise onside kick with the new format. That's true. I'm back there all alone. You got to change the entire setup of the play. Yeah, I miss the surprise on side. I never really got it. a chance to run one, but I've seen a few, and they're exciting. They're exciting place, but, you know, sacrifice that for getting more returns involved in the game.

Do you have a variety of onside kicks or just one? Everyone's got a little toolbox full of them, kind of work on them here and there. But, yeah, it's not, I feel like it's not overly complicated, but the spinner one seems to work better than everything else. Those are the ones that, I mean, we got one recovered, and the Cowboys had one recovered before I was here as well. So those last two on-side kicks, the Cowboys have recovered, have been those little spinner things.

The watermelon. You know what's coming. The ball's on the ground, and it's pointing towards a direction. It's just, you know, being able to pick up a ball that's squirming on the ground. You said you try to go most kicks 80%. Like, have you had to go full throttle 100% on a kick? Probably Giants last year? The Panthers kick, and I think it was my second year from 70.

I tried going full throttle there because we're going 70 into the wind and, you know, miss hit it. And it was short and they got a little return, but luckily we got the guy tackled. So that's kind of what you're playing with when you go full swing. You have a really high chance of miss hitting the ball because your hips aren't used to firing that fast. and obviously you're going as fast he possibly can. So I'm using muscles that I might not use at certain speeds that just aren't used to lining everything up at that speed.

So yeah, just a very high chance of spraying those. That's the only one I've come down at 100%. Different specialist question, but Notre Dame the other night. Did you see the tornado punt? I haven't. I've not been able to watch much football. You have a job. Two kids.

Pretty important. But yeah. The kids is what kills it because they're going to bed and, you know, by the time they get down, I got to do a few chores around the house, I get in bed and, like, turn the TV on and I just, I can't do it. I make one drive, two drives, and then first commercial break hits, I'm out. You need to sleep when they sleep, Brandon. My other question was, I think I've told you this in the past.

when I'm at the game and a lot of people are watching the ball leave your foot and they just want to see if it goes in. I'm hyper-focused on you. Like I'm watching the groom on wedding day when everyone else is watching the bride. And typically right off the foot, you know whether it's going in or not. You and Bangor are high-fiving as the ball is still in the air. But I noticed you did that on a kick from 58. And so even at those distances, you don't watch the ball. As soon as it's off the foot from nearly 60 yards, you know whether it's.

going in or not. Yeah, absolutely. 58 is well within that range where even if like that ball for reference, I didn't hit perfectly. There's a little bit towy, so a little bit of extra spin and going to be probably like five yards shorter. Yeah, I don't think it hit the net. Yeah. That's what surprised me. Three yards clear. But yeah, I mean, I'd have to really, really miss hit the ball to be short from 58. So as soon as it comes off straight and, you know, it's rotating properly, didn't get blocked. All right, there we go. We got it. I theorize that you're good at long kicks more because you didn't grow up playing football.

And you never had pounded into your head like, hey, this is an anomaly. You shouldn't make 50-yard field goals. That's at least my theory. Like you didn't, you weren't always on a team with a coach and there's no way we'd kick from this. just like when you got there, you could make 50 yarders and then you just made them. And I imagine making your first couple helps you a lot. What do you think about this, this gummy thought of mine? Yeah.

I don't know if it's super accurate. My first team was the Stallions and Skip was very conservative on 50 plus yard field goals. I had four attempts in my two seasons there in 24 games. So he was very conservative. You'd often either go for it in short or do short field punts from like 55 and out. I'm like, okay, he's making a big deal of it. And, you know, that's another thing where I just happened to miss the first one he called after he's tentative about it. So then he didn't call another one for like four games.

And then I missed it again. So then it becomes a thing. We're here. We're liberally just throwing me out there. And yeah, I made my first one. And I made my second one. I made my third one on a streak. And now that's kind of what I'm known for.

So, yeah, it is kind of small sample size early on. Builds or takes away confidence in a certain player. And then it's up to you with, if you're given the opportunity, you've got to just keep putting it through. And the more you do that, the more they'll give it to you. All right. Well, my theory can occasionally be wrong. It's occasionally wrong.

Very seldom. You listen to the show, you know. You guys are real friends. You know that I'm usually doing. You can tell you when you're wrong. Giant Stadium. That's where we're going, right? It's not a home game.

Giant Stadium. What do you think of that? It's a fun stadium. Good atmosphere. It's a big bowl. It's closed off pretty well. So the wind swirls, but it's not like some of the crazy stadium. So it's a fun place to play.

Ball travel is reasonably well there. Real grass? No. No, turf. Okay, good. Some of the rougher turf, I don't mind kicking there. The logo, paint is a little. bit sticky usually so kicking off the logo is not fun but everything else is good.

Did you happen to see, now I'm just like going to go over for three on questions that you haven't seen, but some guy, some guy broke down a bunch of video of fuel goals kicked at Gillette. Yeah, I have seen this one. Okay. And so they put up like a graphic behind the opposing, when the opposing kicker is going to kick. It's a graphic of goalposts. and it's like offset from the actual goalpost. And people went through and track.

What, like to try and mess up the kicker? Yes. And it's a very small margin, but it appears to be tangibly true that when they did it, it had a like two or three percent chance the other way. I don't know. Who knows? I think you've got your home field advantage. You've got two of the best kickers of all time in that area going there,

gotzikowski and Benetary. and they kick in that stadium a lot. So they know the intricacies of the stadium. I don't think that really matters, if anything, putting an upright in the middle of the uprights gives me something to aim at. I don't like aiming at things that are moving, but if that camera is steady, then there you go. There's something to aim at.

Because you aim small, miss small. I'm aiming right in the middle of the uprights, and it's a big yellow line. There we go. That's what I'm aiming at. I saw, you know, it's the opposite flag. so they're moving the opposite direction. But, like, really, you're so aware of where the wind is blowing as a kicker.

That's kind of the only thing you are aware of outside of the football and the snap and hold. So, yeah, I don't think it made much of a big difference. I think they just had elite kickers with more knowledge of the stadium they're playing and then the guys that are coming in. What was your first? And I think the common thing people would ask is you made it. a, you got a new contract and what was your first purchase after the contract? I'm not asking that.

What was your first action as captain of the Dallas Cowboys? Congratulations. Brandon Aubrey voted as captain. This was not by the coaches. This was by the players. And according to Shottie, the reason there are only four captains is because these are the four guys that garnered just so many. Like last year there was like 15 captains, right? They're six.

Okay, well, it felt like a lot more. There were a lot more bunched together in the voting, but apparently these four guys got far and away the most votes. Go ahead and give your winning speech. Thank all the people. Very honored to be regarded that way amongst my peers. So just happy to be. Did you vote for yourself?

No. I would not disclose who I voted for. Trent. Yeah, just happy, happy to be thought of this way and, you know, do my best to live up to the expectations. What does that mean? What are you going to do? You're going to kind of interrupt Dak when he's doing the pregame speech? I got this, buddy.

So I'm sure playing my role to the best of my abilities and kind of lead by example, do what I'm supposed to be doing when I do it, make sure I'm always ready for the moments that I'm called upon, that sort of thing. And guys know what they're doing. And they're all professionals here, but if things kind of start going one way that they shouldn't be going, it's, and we're noticing it, it's our job to kind of step in and point that out. And, you know, it's better received usually from players that are either older and have been around for a while or from people in your own position group. So usually we kind of police each other and we have a really old and good position group with the specialist. So kind of police ourselves. But if things slip in the special teams room, you know, it's not just the captains. There's guys that have been here forever that know what the standard is. And we'll step in and make sure we get back to that. Have you had to get up anyone's rear end yet? Nope.

Kind of get in their face. I kind of thought the biggest part of the job was doing all your H.E.B. spot lines in one take. Oh, man, I want to have those videos. I don't know. You do? We'll play those next. Do we have them? I don't know. I'm iffy on whether we can play them. YouTube's got me scared. Right.

On YouTube, it'd be free pub. I would think so. Don't they love it? I thought you killed it. I think you've really come a long way. For sure. Did they ask you to do so much? You have to feel so different now than two years ago when they were first coming to you, trying to slime you.

Well, now they ask you and then they give you a paycheck with it. It helps. Yeah. To watch my baby prank. Yeah. That one was the most nervous one. I actually got some pretty bad reactions from that. So happy not to do stuff like that.

The H-D was great. What was that? When they made him basically be Johnny Knoxville and hand people a baby in front of the star. The team. That's a great bit. Yeah. There's a football on a stroller. That's right. That's right.

That's right. Okay. Yeah. Have trouble remembering all your books. Not everybody can take a joke, you know, even if you're the best kicker in the league. Someone pretended to be an FBI agent in that one. I'm like, oh, good Lord. It's a football.

in a basket and it's a commercial just relax. Hey, I'm in the FBI. Boy, it's your worst case scenario this weekend. You got nothing to do all day until the game. You wait all day for a Sunday night. Well, yeah. Oh, you hate that? No, I don't mind it.

I don't like the morning games at the 12, 12 o'clock noon, especially at home. They're very rushed. I feel like, don't get prepared. This one, I'd prefer the 3.30, but at least we have time to kind of relax and if you're on the road then you kind of got your own little bubble of your hotel room to just mentally do nothing and be prepared nice and rested for game time well if you want to come play mad and hit me up you're actually down on the college football game on my i've got both device now you're big routine guy right you like to get into routine

or no yeah um yeah maybe not as much as other kickers but yeah, I think it helps for sure, especially routine for a kick, like for that 30 seconds leading up the field goal. All right, I didn't know how much else that extended into your life. It just feels like... I feel like he's got two kids right now. Yeah, yeah, that throws every routine off.

Right? Yeah. But the Cowboys generally, I mean, their first few weeks, this is all... The schedule is not very routine at all. No, yeah. It seems to be that way.

We have so many primetime games. and whatnot. Usually that it seems we usually have maybe three back-to-back Sundays in a row, and that'll be the longest stretch in a season with those games being like three o'clock. Same kickoff time. So hopefully, I haven't looked closely enough at the schedule this year. I looked at the first three weeks, obviously. First one on the road, 7.30.

then we got the commanders at home, which will be nice. And then Rio, which will be fun. We'll be just go with the flow and be ready for the game sort of deal. Got a record prediction for this year? Record prediction for us. I just win one at a time. I don't know. We're going to go one and oh this week.

There's my prediction. Okay. I bet Shottie would love that answer. Yeah. Just win today. Yep. You win today, you have a better chance. One day at a time, they say, Dan.

That's right. 9-10, 2026. You got to win that day and then move on. All right, well, good luck. Oh, yeah. There might even be, did we want to mention that there might be a fair lease commercial on the games if people watch for the, watch for Brandon in a fair lease commercial. Maybe. We're all grown up.

We'll see, yeah. Here we go. That would be fun. Yeah, they delivered a car to you on a field. They sure did. That was incredible. Yeah. Well, awesome, man. Good times. Fun first show for us, I guess. I don't know. Is this our first show this year?

Yeah. Yeah. Do we count training camp? This season. Yeah. That was more of the banger show. I mean, when he's around, it's hard for him to not take the spotlight. That was. He's been texting Blake. He's like, what, you know, what if we just did a show and you didn't do Brandon anymore?

He's great. He's got so many interests outside. of football, you can talk to him forever. And he's a lot more personable than I am, at least communicative. I don't talk much. We're water bros now, me and banger. Love that. Yeah.

All right, man. Good luck. We'll talk to you next week. Brendan Aubrey. There he is. And Brandon Aubrey, of course, brought to you by Community Mechanical. Community Mechanical,

Travis and the team real cool. You don't want your house to explode. Don't be a bitch, so pick up. the phone. Dan almost died. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. It is time. You were right, bro.

Power packed. It's a thick Thursday. Thick is the best we can do. It's the best I can do. That's right. That's right. That's right. We're doing some, uh, some D's picks with our boys.

Uh, this could be brought to us by a, uh, a, uh, a coach. sponsor, Puddle Pools, has hit up the Soroys, and they've hit up the DZ as well. Nice. Puddlepools.com slash Dumbzone. That's the better link to go to. In fact, if you sign up for the year-long membership, you'll get your sixth month free. Oh, you went sixth? They say your first month free, but it's like we talked to them about it.

It doesn't matter. I actually asked them for... It could be the 12th month. Whatever. Three days in each month. Because you're paying for the whole... Two and a half. Oh, okay.

Yeah. So I like to go out there some days and jump in my pool and I'm like, free! I like one week available free. Yeah. Every three months. The Cataldi way. That makes me feel better. Anyway, yeah, puddle pools, they'll come out.

They do the chemicals. They do the cleaning. They'll fix your stuff too. I had some stuff jacked up. They fixed this week. They were there the next day. Yeah, it's great. It used to be, we had three or four.

four companies we would deal with. Oh, Polaris is broken. We'll call this company. We need the Puddlepools does it all. You just have to have a different one to have sex with your wife. We love them, folks. Yes. Puddlepools.com. They'll do it all. Slash. Dunzone. Welcome, friends. We have in studio. Hello. We have one of the best game pickers we have going these days. Mike Soroy. Thank you. Hello. We have Mortal Enemy TC. And on the the Zoom, we have KT. We have KT.

KT of Lonezart 925 and Haymaker. Where are you? Are you at a radio station? Yeah, I'm in the basement. Wait, that radio station looks a little familiar. You leave anything? Let me see you back there. Any severance in there?

I left a severance under a couple of rugs. Grab me, dad. man speaking to tc uh i know they didn't really like light it up last night but it's insane that nother dame had jerry and uh love last year the seahawks got another one five yards of pop in the debut they drafted notre dame's other running back 32nd last uh last draft first time in the common draft era that the first two running back picks same school and they're both in the first round He just looked like an animal out there last night. He is.

They didn't once do that with Arkansas? They were not the first two. There was a pick separating them. Okay. And it was. Do you remember? The pick that separated them? If you could.

Because you could. I don't remember. In USC, the Reggie Bush, Lendale White were both in the top 20, but there was a running back separating. Chris Johnson. Hmm. Football. Anyway, I need to address KT because we got an email. focused on KT.

I forgot to wear my shirt today. I laid it out and everything. Oh, yeah? You saw this email? Yes. Last week when y'all were coming up with punishment for picks, KT mentioned how stupid Spinks was. He was talking about his SNL fantasy draft.

Yeah, I think just KT. He said how stupid Spinks was with the number one overall pick of SNL. was Turnstile. He called him an idiot. Turnstile was announced tonight as the second musical guest of the season for SNL. Oh. I need KT to make a public apology before he picks tomorrow when he's on the show. He should give up his commissioner responsibilities after that comment. Wow.

On his head. Wow. A sacking. Ouch. Your public comment here, how do you respond to the criticism you've received? Well, first of all, if you go, and none of you have, but the live show that we did on draft night, T.C. is the one who destroyed Spinks.

I don't know what he's talking about there. He said, though, last week when we were talking about punishments, that that's when you said it. Yeah, because on this show, I'm not worried about your show. Well, now T.C.'s on this show, too, though, so we can fold this. I don't think we can. This goes back to your show because the night after that draft, when we were at half-priced books, T.C. goes, man, y'all let him off too easy with that turnstile pick at 1-1, round 1, pick 1.

It wasn't good value. Right. We did let him off the hook. So then for two weeks, I start killing Spinks. But he only got a point for it, whatever. It was a bad pick. He could have taken a turnstile in round 6 and got him. That's my point. What is the leaderboard right now, by the way, Kevin? You're doing great, T.C. T.C. got a two for. T.C. is super in tune with the culture of 15-year-old girls and is leading this game of pop culture. And I'm over. They didn't announce fish just yet.

Right. Probably saving it for the holidays. So in this game that KT created, there's bonus points and there's a way you can get a two-for. And you're a trapdoor. I'm going to hit you with some names. Darren McFaddenwood, fourth overall. 13th overall that year, Jonathan Stewart. Oh, yeah, Oregon. 22nd Felix Jones

and the run was on at 23 Richard Mendenhall and at 24 Chris Johnson Eastern Carolina What a running back draft boys Matt Forte at 44 Too late Maybe the best of them all

Ray Rice at 55 And then my Soroy note is that I just found out this week I probably should have known this The Dolphins are the last team like the longest playoff win drought? Yeah. 25 years, baby.

Since a playoff win, the Browns have had a playoff win. Is it the, I think it's the Jets that's 25 and then 17 years, I think it's the Jets, and then like no other team is a dozen or more. When did the Browns win a playoff game? Baker.

Baker Mayfield. He won a game? Over the Steelers, the year before they let him go. Oh. In Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh. In Pittsburgh, a place where they historically never win.

What an error. Dude, I'd forgotten too. We watched the QB this year. And I'm like, this all happened. This is insane. His entire career is hard for me to remember. It's just so much going on. Yeah.

Now a contract. There really is. And then my TC note is, how are the White Sox doing? Well, uh, I saw him lose, uh, on an interesting. Field Fly. They didn't. I'll tell you this. They didn't do what we needed them to do.

Just go out here. Getting swept by the pirates is not what we really wanted for late in the season. Oh, no. Hopefully we rebound today. I heard they're moving, though. Dude, that place looks amazing. They're moving out of commission. They're probably going to move where the bears are moving.

Across the street from Justin. No, they're going closer to downtown. They're going to go to Valparaiso. No, they're going closer to downtown. Yeah, TC might be across the street from Justin's house. A candidate for all the news about your football team ain't been good news. No, it's been nothing but. Where are the Rangers?

They still have a chance at anything? It's two games. Okay. It remains at two games. One week from tomorrow. We are in attendance. Oh, really? Yeah, I think.

Yeah. Although the closure it gets, the more it sucks. I'm noticing. Well, yeah, that's why you scheduled it so far away. The last. I know that game. Okay, so it's the 18. We have no show that day.

I might be in for this. Come on out. Fian. Wife's out of town. Really? Yeah. I was going to go actually fly to see Turnstile, but I sold my ticket. Really?

Yeah. Because I, uh, I'm not T.C. As I told Dan off the air today, T.C.'s a bigger problem for my marriage than Mike Soroy ever was. Oh, thank you. It's not even close. I thought of the king. I also would like to say thank you.

Sororio was always thought of as the big problem because he'll just party with you. Yeah. Yeah. Where were you? It's a party. I was with Soroy and it'd be like, oh, no. Yeah, uh-oh. Who knows what you did?

We're not doing anything crazy, yeah. But why is TC worse? Well, he's just, he's got the lust for life that I have. We want to go do everything. But I just get a lot more heat or I feel more heat. Wouldn't it be better? He walks through life in a flame-retarded suit. I would think he'd be better because, like, even though Bob, like, would have been a much better husband than I've ever been.

I would be like, well, he's out golfing today. He's been there for four hours. It's Saturday. I've been here at home all day with the kid, you know? Yeah. So you could always point to your buddy going, yeah, but he flew to go see Turnstile, and I'm here, honey. Yeah. Treating you right.

It's never enough. As Turnstile says, it's never enough. So we're picking games. We're going to pick 10 games every week. On the air, we'll just. just pick the games, the triple play and the cowboy game. Unless somebody makes us pick the Thursday night game. And I, kicking and screaming against this, but we're doing it.

So you know if we're picking a Thursday night game, it's not because of me, guys. I don't want to do it. Never. So we're going to pick seven games each week. One of the games will be a triple play. That will get us to 10. and by the end of the year, the teams, we have teams this year. It is Dan and Mike.

It is T.C. and Jake because they love each other. And it is Blake and KT because the opposite. Or at least on one side of it. I know Blake is pretty beaten by the fact that KT is his partner. And they are picking games together. But we all pick individually, individually, but it's together, right? Yep. Is that confusing enough for you, KT?

I know you like a really confusing start to any game. We're not doing any super picks? See? Hey, do you want a real... Can you do in 30 seconds? No. 30 seconds synopsis of the text you sent because you wanted me to join a couple of new leagues

and I said, yes, I'm in? Yeah. 30 seconds. What are these leagues? How do they work? League one, anytime touchdown league. You can pick a running back, a wide receiver or a tight end each week, but you can't use the same team twice.

Runs all the way through the playoffs. So don't burn your good teams early in the season or you have nothing to choose from. League two, a three strike league. If you have no strikes, it's any time touchdowns. If you have strike one, you move to kickers. And if you have strike two, you go to teams. It's beautiful. It's going to be amazing.

I don't even if we're going to be talking about this. No, on the second one, you pick somebody, and if that doesn't hit, you're a strike one, and then you have to move to a kicker for your next pick. So I imagine a lot of people are out pretty early. in that one. Yes. Yeah.

Well, Blake's out like when he gets the text. Within 30 seconds, I said, no thank you. No, but that's what Kevin wants. He wants an honest answer. Dan will leave you on red or somehow then get involved and complain. I am a straight no guy to all these.

I all caps it to Jared. No. No. All I want to watch is flea flickers. of which we had one last night. Every year by midseason, I'm, I feel like you, and next year I'm doing that. Does you in the goddamn power wall? But then at the beginning of the year, I get all excited, and I'm in like 10 different

knockout leagues. It's great. He is right. I mean, all the month. You should have a generate out by now. I saw his list. I saw his list. He has to, that's half his run sheet on Thursdays is just all the different stuff.

Yeah, I have to highlight and make sure that I, I forgot last night for fantasy football. It's stupid. The idea that you guys need to spice up sports to enjoy it. So anyways, back to our earring-based betting game. Oh, that's right. Whoever's in last place, the team, will have to wear an earring from the day after the Super Bowl until the day of the Hall of Fame game, right?

Yep. Where T.C. might be there. He might be there with his earring. Fingers crossed. In Canton. That's enough time to fall in love with the earring, too. It really is. Maybe turn you into a life.

and that's the last thing you'd expect. And if people want to follow this, they can go to dumbzone.com. There's a little picks tab up top. At some point, Harrison Ford was like, I'm going to try it. Yeah, and then they laughed. And he never went back, you. Flockhart laughed. That was 30 years ago.

I'm going to leave it in. Then every morning, I'm going to leave it in. We'll get to our picks right after we tell you about Atlas Foundation Company. I am a customer of Atlas Foundation. company. They've been in business since 1958. What was going on back then, Dan? They were fixing your foundations. Not even the Beatles. They weren't even listening to the Beatles yet. That's right.

It's probably like Glenn Miller. They hadn't ripped off their music yet when Atlas Foundation got going. Tarrant Johnson, Parker counties, and now Dallas County, four dumb zone listeners. They're going to waive any sort of inspection fee. So get that free foundation inspection booking an appointment at 817-672-99-50. It's Atlas Foundation Inc.com. Had them out to my house the other day. They found a problem that the previous company had not done correctly.

That company came back and fixed that for free after Kyler got under my house. They're fixing my foundation. If you need work, let them do yours. It's free to get the inspection at atlasfoundation inc.com. What's your job? That's my tag for Atlas Foundation Company right now, until we get them a jingle mate, which we will do. But now it's time to start the picks.

So we usually go first to worst, but we haven't done anything yet. So we'll just go around the room. In fact, we'll start with KT. But here's what you got to do. You've got to pick the cowboy game. Cowboys at Giants. The Cowboys favored by two and a half. The Giants getting two and a half at home.

You have tonight. You have to pick tonight's game. That is the 49ers at Rams, although it is actually in Australia, correct? It is not, they're not really at the Rams. But that is the Rams favored by three and a half. And what's the other one? Oh, your triple play. There you go.

Those are the three games you need to pick. On the air, we start with KT. Yeah, I mean, first of all, I want to say, me and Blake got together last week and had a catch. Put all our differences aside from over the years. He was still at my ass a little bit because Bob and Dan just to call me to bail them out of game show Fridays when they're a guy we got to find someone. Blake was just seen as a lowly engineer then, and I get it. I would have been jealous to. We had an honest conversation through the ball around.

We're good. Shanahan usually pretty good against the spread versus McVeigh. For me, you know, it comes down to this. Only one of these savant head coaches didn't slam his car into a teenager and then try to blame it on her. Only one of these owners was not caught in a prostitution sting in the woods in Ohio. Only one of these teams had a player test positive for racism. And only one of these teams hired Matt Eberfluse. But I have type one narcolepsy and I've done more sleep studies than anyone in Texas.

None of these sleep doctor experts know jack shit about anything. Give me San Francisco plus three and a half. I love the sports science doctor take. Because whoever wins, they're just going to attach it to, well, you see here? Yeah. No, that's 100%. I'm totally making my pick based on that stuff too. I as well.

So that's the Rams game. You like the 49ers? Yeah, I've got Christian. McCaffrey getting 37 touches tonight to put him at 2,500 for his career. Let's go, Cowboys. Say what you want about Jerry. You're not going to find him in the Epstein files. Say it from the back.

It's his own thing going. He's a leader. An honorable way where you just get them a Rangerover when they turn 16, not have sex with them. I like that the entire Giants defense hates their quarterback because he's MAGA. I love that they're running. back tried to claim that CTE and asthma doesn't exist. John Harbaugh is a garbage coach. I mean, dude, this is, unless it's a trap, Cowboys minus two

and a half on Sunday night. And you know what? Make that my 3-5-4-1 triple play. Damn. Jesus. Damn. Not the triple play. Triple, ripple, ripple, triple play. Now we read between the lines there. Kevin's pretty plugged in an NFL circle. So I feel like we learned something about that Kyle Shanahan story.

that maybe I hadn't heard before. What was that? I wasn't reading between the lines. That he wrecked into a teenage girl and tried to blame it. I mean, something is not right with that story, right? They did try to blame it on the person, yeah. Okay. I didn't know that part.

The first police report said it was her fault. Yeah. And then he called all the media over to be like, I just wanted to let you guys know. That wasn't her. Okay. Okay. Excellent.

Excellent. So that means I have to do a makeup thing? Why, like, Emmanuel Aco or somebody, somebody was recently out there saying that they were once in a car accident and the team personnel. So you know how recently. Got him out of it? I'm like, you're an idiot. Why would you do that to your team? Recently, we were talking about how some guys are going to jail because they won't stop bragging about killing Tupac.

Like, Emmanuel Acho has so little in his bag that he's now having to do things that are kind of against the code of playing pro sports. Yeah, of course they helped you out of a car accident. dummy, they still work there. Yeah, why would you say that now to bust, you know? Because he's got... Like, hey, that helped you out. Because people are now talking about it. Isn't it Big Dom, too?

The Eagle the dude? That's the heavy implication. Theorizing. That he'll have to talk to the league about this. But, I mean, the Cowboys are getting players... What do you think Rich Dalrymple was doing? Yeah. The Cowboys are getting players out of stuff all the time.

Yeah, but Big Dom deserves to be burned. Until I learned it was him, I was against this. Now I'm pro-acho. Yeah, if it's a RICO type thing, him in them up. I don't care. team of cleaners for the average NFL team, you know? I mean, that underworld is fascinating.

And we've heard bits and pieces from guys. Sure. It's very real, right? We've heard from, oh, we, I heard from a guy. Did I ever read that email? The guy who worked at the hotel? We was a guy at a local hotel and he worked there. John Madden towel.

And they couldn't get current Dallas Cowboy defensive back to leave. And he said that a coach called him, a, another guy, security guy called him. This is a listener of ours who's like in his 20s and works overnight at a upscale hotel in Dallas. He was like, yeah, they offered me tickets. They offered me to come to the game to just be just for dealing with this. Oh, okay. It was a huge problem. Like, let's just keep this on the download.

Yeah. Yeah. Remember the night Zeke punched that DJ. Oh, yeah. And the cleaners were there handing out NDAs before the cops were even there on the scene. Wow. That guy had to move to Houston or something. There's a book is like a memoir, auto.

biography from an FBI agent who worked undercover. And it's amazing stories of like his time impersonating cocaine dealers in Los Angeles. Then at the end of the book, it's like, oh yeah, and then I went private. Now we're for the Cowboys. Wow. The best. That's what we're going to get. TC, you want to go?

I would love to go, Dan. I think the Rams are a bit overrated overall on the season, but I like their sleep approach better. That is who I am picking. Cowboys on Sunday night Did want to give you small note One of my favorite elements of the Hall of Fame They have the Carrie Underwood dress From the NBC

Intro filming I will take the Cowboys Just off the strength of the Harbaugh first speech No one's winning their first game After that kind of speech And then for my triple I will take the Utah Utes Welcoming the Arkansas Razor

They're not used to that Utah climate, the altitude. I think the Utes will thrive and have no problem. 12 and a half. Yeah. 12 and a half there for TC's triple. Triple, Whipple, Play. Sir Roy. I have this in my pocket since last week.

I'm keeping it with me to remember who I'm doing it for. Every decision I make, it's not just me. That's right. It's TMS and M. It's bigger than just you. It is bigger than me. And the models are back, Dan. He'll be glad to know.

Oh, okay. What are your models say about this? Siphoning millions of gallons. Bought more credits. Out of the city of Dallas for cooling towers, and I've upgraded my models. We're doing 50,000 simulations per game. And they've spit out some dubs.

Cowboys are going to win this game by a field goal. I think they're better. I have some big, I'm going to talk about it on Cirque tonight. I don't know if you have, like, I'm an odd believer in the Cowboys this year. I've never done it since I've lived here. You guys know I'm not even a Cowboy fan. I've bet them to win the East, to win the NFC, and to win the Super Bowl.

God bless. I just think that defense is going to click with the amount of turnover they've had. And if they're often stays healthy, I think they're going to be really, really good. He's never been this right. How about it? So I guess you've got to get a road win in game one to get that thing started. So Cowboys minus two and a half. Tonight, 49ers, plus three and a half is the selection.

I don't know. This is a weird one. I love reading about the differences in the travel thing. That's legit, really fun. And the Rams have gone wild with it. It might be genius. But I'll take San Francisco plus three and a half. Triple play.

It's the anniversary of 9-11 tomorrow. You're picking Al-Qaeda? They're doing it on 9-11. I choose the Army. Minus three and a half points against South Florida. That is my triple play. Wow. Interesting.

Triple play. Interesting. The conflict play. All right. I'm going to go next. I will give you tonight's game first. I wonder if the Rams are overrated,

but I like the sleep bit. Everything's been on this sleep bit. I do think week one, the Rams might be overrated for the whole season, but I think they'll be ready to roll week one. So give me the Rams to win by three and a half tonight. Cowboys game, man, there's overrated left and right in this game. Because I think Harbaugh is extremely overrated.

But I think the Cowboys are also extremely overrated. And I think you are going to find, you know, you got to get punched in the mouth to see how you respond to that. And I think their defense is going to get punched in the mouth. and I don't know if the Cowboys way they are, just their mindset right now is set for this. It is 9-11 weekend. We're going to be in New York. Thank you, Army. Are you nervous, Blake?

Four? Being in New York during kind of a target time like this? You're worried about Brazil. No, I mean, false flag operations typically don't, like, hit the general public, so I think I'm going to be all right where I'm at. Yeah. Anyway, I also think. think Jackson Dart, I like Jackson Dart. And I think he didn't play at all last year, maybe just one game or something with Malik Neighbors.

Now Malik Neighbors is back. I'll take the Giants to win that game, or at least to make it close. And my triple play, I couldn't even believe it. I'm like, are we allowed to just, is this legal that I'm allowed to just get three wins like this? When I looked at the thing, and I'm like, I kind of checked with some other. Yeah, apparently that is the number. I didn't. Let's see, what is this?

You know Peyton and Brady and Newton and Brees. Rogers and Watson and Dalton and Wilson. What do you recall? The Monaster, the touchdown maker had a very mighty throw. We're talking about Baker Mayfield, who again is doubted. What are we doing here? We're doubting him three and a half points. Three and a half.

Okay. Cincinnati also with a dog crap defense last year, same stuff's coming out of Cincinnati, of course, not as amplified because it's not the Cowboys, but it's, hey, things are, oh, man, we addressed everything. Everything's fine now. We're going to be great. You're going to be Baker by three and a half points. Are you mad?

And I'm getting this done at noon on Sunday so I can sit back and just enjoy. I thought you were going to live stream it. The rest of the day, I am triple playing the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baker Radio. I'm not doubting you, buddy. I'm the guy that doesn't doubt you. Do you want to go, Jake? Hmm. Or do you want to let...

Let's go Blake. Okay. Give me the 49ers tonight. I think this is a really even game on a neutral field, but give me the team that traveled out the day, or a few days before, not kind of the day of. Um, and for my triple,

I wanted to look at a couple things. Coaching matchup, an organizational momentum. And I found a game featuring both. Let's see, Team A won their final two games of the season last year. Team B lost four out of the final five. Team A has a lot of high draft picks and under a new coach with a pedigree. Team B hangs their hat on seven-win seasons.

Team A's coach has a Super Bowl ring. Team B is coached by Brian Schottenheimer, a living-breathing, A Living-Eat-Sy sign. Harbaugh is a defensive guy handed Brian Burns and Abdul-Carter. but thanks to my Homer idiot teammate, I can't triple play the Giants because he's sitting there with his little FN Jerry Jones banner

high on the Cowboys for God knows why they haven't accomplished anything in 30 years, but let's triple them. Thanks, KT. We're in a hole already. So I guess my Giants

will be a single play. He does what he can. And then I guess give me the Lions for my triple play minus seven. They're going to kill the Saints, right? Hit the Sounder. It's funny, it's good we have Soroy here for Harbaugh talk, even though it was different Harbaugh. Yeah, I'm still a defender of John Harbaugh.

Far more than you guys. Not a defensive coordinator. Many people forget straight special teams coordinator to head coach. Yeah. For an organization that won before he was there, probably going to win after he was there. I'm not sure that we know anything about John Harbaugh. Well, he's not, yeah, he's not a scheme guy at all. He's never been that.

Neither is his brother. He got big by counting how many players are on the field. Yeah. Hey, I say make the field goal. Don't miss this one. Dude, who did I see was a special team's coordinator the other night with a name? It's one of them, right? It's one of their sons.

Like Kevin Harbaugh or something. Oh, no. I'm serious. And his Wikipedia says he played a little in high school but had to quit due to knee injuries. And I'm like, okay. Yeah. me too i guess i guess all right well uh then i'm up i'm going to uh i'm gonna take win i'm gonna take the rams uh i think the

49ers are due for a massive massive fall off and the rams i don't know i like the sleep thing so i'll take that don't like uh having to pay for the hook in a divisional game i'd prefer it at three man i really want to take dan on here but so i'm going to take the cowboys for my single play. So you're not, what are you saying? I'm thinking about changing my triple to, uh... It's burrow, dude. Come on.

I want to start with this, Dan. I will bet you, let's work on a bet on the Bengals defense versus the Cowboys defense. For the year? Yeah, because Dan keeps saying things like the Cowboys are going to get punched in the mouth. They haven't done anything to get ready for that. I don't know, like having two elite interior defense.

defensive tackles. It feels like that's what you would do for that. They made a trade for one, too. They did. They got Dexter Lawrence. I would like to see the rest of their additions up against Dallas's. And we can, if you think Dallas's defense will be worse than Cincinnati's put something on it. Well, they got a draft pick for that put something on it. Put something on it. Would you like to put something on it? Would you like to put something on it? I'm hearing a lot about how the Bengals and Cowboys are the same. Now you want us to bet another thing? I'm asking you for a side bet on who finishes better in any way the Bengals are Cowboys this year. Because I'm hearing a lot of like, oh, it's a bingles and the Cowboys,

but it's just because they're in the AFC, it's Cincinnati. The Cowboys will finish four wins better than the Bengals this year. I will take that bet, yeah, right away. Four wins better? Come up with a payoff. So for this one, I do think that the Bengals... State fair all day? Dig a hole.

I do like that pick, but I'm going to go with, on a weekend of divisional games, I'm going to go back to the Harbaas. I'm going to take the Chargers laying nine and a half against the Cardinals. If there's one of these games, I think, they could get out of hand. It's the Chargers and the Cardinals. It's one of the only non-divisional matchups of the weekend, so I'll triple the Chargers and Harbaugh and Mike McDaniel. Great picks, twin. Thanks, King. God, look at them. We're in love with each other. Just wait. Well, there we have it, and Sunday night, we will be, you know, doing the stream. So maybe, uh, oh, you got, you're out there, right?

Hell yeah. A man. Sorry will be out there. TC is out for every stream, of course. And then maybe we'll just pop KT on for a minute or two if you want to gloat. If your picks are doing better than his, I don't know, which they probably will be. Although he tripled the Cowboys, though. I wanted to.

I think, you know, everyone knows what I think. This is your last chance to get your licks in. Hell yeah. Well, KT, go to one of your five other jobs or five other fans. Fantasy League's your commissioner of and just KT's got a lot going on. For a guy who falls asleep just on a whim, it's... That's why he has to do so much because he never knows when he's going to be sleeping. So I better, I better do this now. I might fall asleep in five minutes.

Could happen at any time. Okay. Dan, text me your picks. I don't know what that means. Okay, I will. For the other two leagues. Yeah, I got a first... Which kicker you want.

Figure out what... Any time. Let's know. All right. Thanks, KT. Thanks, thanks, thanks everybody. See, Blake. Bye, Kevin.

Not even one game played. You call me first. I don't want him picking first. They're a mess. If you guys would like to hang out, feel free because we're about to do viewer mail. And it does have a sponsor. So if you don't want to, this is your time to leave. I'm going to leave.

Bye. While we start telling you about Plum Quick, that is one of our newest sponsors as well. But they've got that home membership that you, can sign up for. And they come out, they just kind of check everything out once a year. And I like it a lot because, like right now, I just discovered a clogged drain upstairs. But you get a lot of little things that mess up throughout the year. You're like, I'm not going to call them just because of this.

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I got a guy aiming at Jake here. I mean, I don't even know if I should read it. The day that ends in why. This would probably make Jake feel bad, so I won't read it. Read the email. What? We've heard a lot about Jake's football career, including recently that he started in tackle at 5.

He has often said something like, quote, I was a quarterback on most of my teams because of all my leadership and charisma and intelligence and height, and I could remember the plays and we mostly ran the ball anyway. Idea for a new documentary, the story of Jake getting moved away from quarterback, how did the coaches break the news, how many hours did he run routes after the meeting when he knew he was now a wide receiver? Was Joe his replacement?

Did any factors, factions in the locker room, lobby the coaches to put back up Jake, did he give the starting quarterback a hype speech before every game? Did he ever think about transferring to Halton or Birdville or somewhere where he could start at Corp. It's not, I mean, listen, there was a day whenever I was like 16 or 17, and we were out there at practice and there was, you know, the dick-off kids were dicking off. And, you know, you're busting your ass out there. And they were like, look, dudes.

Table-topping? You're going to be happy that you did this for the rest of your life. and there's going to be a bunch of dudes walking around saying, yeah, play a little football and they quit when they were eight, nine, whatever, because they just didn't have it. They didn't like the violence like you boys like the violence. So I understand what it's like to be an emailer

who wishes that you would have done more in your life. I understand. Most people email it. I know you wish you would have done what I've done. But it just doesn't always work that way. I did the same thing in 10th grade that my brother did in college. They said,

you're not a quarterback anymore. And he said, I'm going to light somebody up on special teams and as a receiver. And my brother became a receiver in college. Because we love ball and violence. That's what we did. I mean, it's sad. Like, I listened to you talk and I'm like, boy, this guy just doesn't, he was not out there. He does not know what it was like to get, like to get hit.

Same thing for the emailer. He did play against those five-year-olds. Yeah. You're yelling at me now? Why am I in your cross-hairs? Because I read an email? No, this is not yelling. Now it's like, I don't know the guy.

I'm telling you how I think of. I'm a messenger. No, but I'm telling you how when you talk about football, how I receive it. It's like that guy in the email. He's also treating high school football like it was Iwo Jima. I guess there's a reason you weren't out there. Yeah, because I went to a different school. Because it was hard.

It was hard. But you know that a lot. Like life is going to be hard. If my name. This is very hard. Water was an option. If you are the type of person who wants to do hard stuff, stay out here. That would be the message.

And it served me very well in life. The rest of you? It shows up at times at hard stuff. It's not exactly what you guys want to do. I'm not, this is just pride, not anger. Maybe you shouldn't have read it. Does anyone else want to read any of it? Yeah.

Or is this back to me. I got a video that will go with this one. during Friday's, or a deer tin fish Terminator. During Friday's edition of Dead on the Stay Still Dead, Jake immediately clocked former smash-mouth vocalist Steve Harwell and made quick mention of his late in life political turn. His Twitter feed is an all-timer and worth a scroll, but that's not why I'm writing in today.

I'm curious if Jake or anyone else remembers the infamous, quote, bread incident. This occurred at the Taste of Fort Collins in 2015. I'm very interested, but here's a transcript if you don't feel like watching. I do feel like watching. Can we watch this video, Clayton? Let's see what we got. You throw one more piece of shit on fucking stage.

I'm going to come find your ass. I'm going to beat your ass wherever the fuck you are out there, okay? You want to be a badass? Come up here, come on. Walk your badass up here. Come on. Come on stage. Come on stage, badass.

They're just throwing a little thing. It's nothing big. But when he mentions this, they're throwing more. Yeah. And the drummers keep that. Yeah, then the band starts kind of playing. And not just playing. Why am they giving him All Store, though?

You start coming. They don't stop coming. Now he's sitting down his mic. He's going to go out into the crowd. Oh my gosh. So what's going to happen? This goes on for another minute or two. He's trying to get out into the crowd.

His, I guess, security guy is kind of stopping him. You can keep the audio going up because what's going to happen here is the crowd is tired of his act. The crowd's going to start singing. because they're there. If you're at a smash mouth thing now, right? You know the words to everything. And their most famous song. So the crowd's going to start singing.

He's going to almost get shamed into walking back up on stage and just start performing it in the middle of the song. I think that has to be why they started playing it to some extent is they're just tired of his crap. Yeah, like let's just do this. Get on with it, man. Somewhat. I get hit by a piece of bread, right?

No. Like he's not singing. That's not him. No, he doesn't even have his mic. Yeah, I think that was a band member. The whole crowd's singing. This is incredible. Now he feels like a fool.

He's going to go to his mic. This is. Now he starts singing. Beyond bizarre. No, I've never seen that and it's incredible. From Jesse, he says it's hard to say if the MVP goes to the guy yelling, kick his ass, C bass. Or the band,

for launching into an instrumental of All-Star while Mr. Harwell Ransson is held back by security, but you be the judge. I like that he can't help but sing the chorus. He is dead, and he died of, like, alcohol-related complications. And so I wonder if his family ever employed this at home that just kind of get the song to where the chorus is and whatever he's doing. He kind of peps up a little bit. Pop out of it.

That is... Got to shake off sick of course. By far, the funniest instrumental to have playing behind you while you're trying to... Like, if I, if you guys had started playing that when I was getting fired up about high school football, how dumb would I have sounded? Ten times more dumb. Boom, boom, boom. Let's just let him cook. Boom, and the little shitty ska guitar.

Finishing the emailed, stay golden pony boy, always throw bread at fascist from Denver, D.F. Jesse, P.S., this has become someone. thing of an annual holiday for me and my bandmates. And we'll do our best to replicate this legendary crash out when we play the same festival in a few weeks' time. Opening for I shit you not, Lil John. Wow. Wow. Big ups to them.

If he does get that video, I hope he, if he recreates this, I hope he sends it to us. Love it. From Grady. And I think this is something that we covered it like really early in IJB years. He says, you know those. blow dryer thingies in public restroom to dry your hands after washing. What if they made life-size ones for your whole body after a shower? I had a friend.

I had a buddy, Blake. Let's go. He may be on the list already, but I had a buddy when I lived with him. It occurred to me, I was hearing a blow dryer in the bathroom when he would shower. And I'm like, I don't know, this guy barely has hair. And eventually I asked him about it. And he was like, yeah, I blow dry underneath the undercarriage when I get.

out of the shower every time he's like i can't get it all the way dry he's a bigger fella and i started thinking then well why not why not have if you're benicky and you have warmed floors on breaking bad why not also a thing you just walk into yeah like the uh the car wash when you drive through it has that wall of air how good would that feel dude you just kind of stand there and it can be a little warm so you're not cold yeah but the the hand dryer never get you dry enough This is worse But I think the hand dry I never gets you dry enough

Because you have to keep being like Can you just go more Like this would be your personal version It would be better You know what I priced They have public toilet paper that sucks This would be like You know maybe some

Mynthalam or something in it Some sandal wood I don't know what that is It could give you a little scent What you could say Dan I priced putting a dryer in my bathroom My master bedroom bathroom

bathroom bathroom. To have hot towels? Yeah, because for years, I want that, and I would get a Christmas present, like, oh, this is the towel rack that keeps your, it doesn't. It keeps like this little line on your towel warm, like where it hangs on the metal part of the rack, but the whole towel isn't warm. Like, wouldn't you love to just take a towel right out of the dryer and wrap yourself in it?

We have a third floor washer dryer. It's pretty great. Yeah. And so I tried to price it into our, we did a remodel of the bathroom. bathroom years ago and it was just apparently there's an exhaust and there's all this stuff that goes with it and

but I wanted it right there like next to the shower not like down the hall that would be so good right there so that's a pro move for you though Dan maybe in the shower when you do your walks and it's cold throw your little zip up sweater in the dryer

for a little five minute cycle before you go out so you got a nice little warm coat on when you go outside I went probably everything you said there was gay I went several years without like regularly washing my jeans. It was just throw them in the dryer, right? No, not right. Throw a dryer sheet.

I think that's pretty easy. Throw a dryer sheet in with your jeans and, you know, warm a bump. That's recommended. Oh, shit in your ass, you're good. I got a quick, this is in the folder, Clayton. This is from KJ. This is a viewer mail. Why Hillary Lost?

We recently, over the last five or so years, lost a disabled list because it was resulting in disabled people in mass rolling their wheelchairs into traffic. If you remember that one summer, they were all so sad. So we had to change it to the inactive list. We have lost sudden death. Uh-uh. Yeah, this is from a NCAA field hockey game. No question on why our friend KJ watches female field hockey,

but the screen indicates it is now called sudden victory. Dang. Too many people were killing themselves after losing an overtime. They're still calling it a period, though. Says here they have one 15-minute period for that victory. I wish it was 15 minutes. Like we all got to do that? Like all of us or just one of us?

The worst is right before. the 15 minutes. Like, there's a lot of, there's been, you know, a mix of effects by Trump being elected president, but I was under the impression that this is one of the things it was supposed to fix. I agree. What else were we supposed to do? I agree.

Right. All this stuff is still happening? Yeah. That we're upset about. Let's call this halftime. We'll get a little bit more viewer mail and continue in a moment. The Dumsah, Dungza. The Dallas Cowboys 2020.

season ended just like it started with disappointment. Tom Pellisero here with some breaking news into the NFL network newsroom. Micah Parsons is a Green Bay Packer. Before first year head coach Brian Schottenheimer ever took the sideline, his training camp was full of distractions and drama. We expect a player paid like Trevon to be here all the time. That kind of hurt my feelings. Michael Parsons.

I mean, there's not really much movement, man. You know. I was laying on the table in the middle of the game. Have you had a discussion with him at all of any of that stuff? Does that stuff matter to you? What followed was an underwhelming first year for Schottenheimer, or Schottie, as he demands to be called. Maybe the fact that Grit's tattooed on my hand

has something to do with that we look at that. Despite last year's meager win total, you know, 6-7, 6-7. The vibes heading into year two could not be any higher. I just love how quiet has been in Dallas. this off season. But just a lot of like business being handled and not a lot of drama. That's right. The Cowboys went one off season without needlessly dominating the headlines on a daily basis. So what were they doing instead? Well, it's something that I'm working on here.

You know, kind of in the back of my mind is, is, you know. Offensive coordinator Clayton Adams. How can you really have a break room or a snack room if you don't have a hot dog fridge? Goodbye holdouts. And if you're going to have a hot dog fridge, you've got to have high quality hot dogs in it. Hot Dogs. Do you know that a secret mic'd up is a $1,000 fine and $100 donation to the hot dog fridge? Last year? And Jerry, as he said, doesn't speak to many agents.

I do. This year. And if you're going to have high quality hot dogs in it, we got a brioche buns and maybe some pretzel buns. Last year. When do you just be doing more than what you've done today? This year. And then one of the things I learned from going to Disneyland with my kids because I was trying

to steam the bond, I was trying to toast the bond. And the guy at Disneyland goes, no, man. Put it in the bun and wrap it in foil and let the hot dog steam the bun. It's been revolutionary. The hot dog master himself. I wonder if he's got a hot dog fridge up there. I think Mr. Jones might have been listening when he spoke to the media after last week. Oh, this is a guy of bun. We need a spider.

How do we find this bun? Right. They wrap it in the oil. Look, this is a hot dog bug. I think it's a hot dog, too. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. Yes, indeed. I think it's a hot dog, too.

Those are the conversations that they have. The second half of viewer mail today will be brought to us by FlooringDirect, DFW. FlooringDirectDFW.com slash DZ. No. Oh. is the website there. It is New Floor Sisson. We couldn't get it in before the football season at my house.

Who knew this was on the calendar? We got some things going on at my house. But we're going to have new floors soon sometime during the... I hope it's during the season. That's not good. Wife is just making different decisions. Oh, now I like this one. The point is, flooring direct, DFW.com.

slash DZ. They're great to deal with, though. They bring the store direct to you. Hundreds of, so many samples. You can view them in your home next to your wallpaper under your lights. You can go out to their showroom. They have an Addison showroom, but they will bring the whole thing right to you. They're awesome to deal with. FlooringDirect, DFW.com. Any other special deals we want to mention right at this second? I know they had the 0% financing, you put no money down, you can get new floors in your house. Oh, that's right, 36 months, 0% free financing. Yeah, they're going to work with you for sure.

And maybe you want to get them in before you entertain for the holidays. Get it started now. Flooring direct, d'w.com slash Deasy or 972-449-9457. I got a couple that have some pictures attached. This one is... Let's start with this. Got a movie trope. This is Jake from Austin.

Jake from State Farm. Do you still hate that guy? I do. And it really has nothing to do with my name, but I realize that's probably no one's going to buy that. I just think it's one of the largest advertising campaigns we've ever had. And the fact that they simply tried to switch a black guy for a white guy because black people kept getting killed by the police. and they just took a fat white guy, put a ripped black guy, and kept the same name. Cackies?

It's just, I don't, I feel like the stories I heard about the Dukes of Hazard and whatever of old, they would have never been so flagrant with their disrespect to the viewer. Give them a different name, dude. Okay, movie tropes from Jake from Austin, pulling up to a hotel and tossing the keys to the valet. There's paperwork that has to be done if you want the car back, and as a former valet while in college, those who did try to throw the keys were attempting to not tip the valet, so I would step aside and let the keys fly past me.

That's funny. The other movie trope he has, removing a nerdy girl's glasses instantly makes her hot. Yeah. I guess I haven't seen that one in real life to know it feels like that one stands up. You think? I don't know. No?

Clayton's... I like some glasses. That protects the eye. And then she has a... I mean, you know T.C.'s bit. Hmm. I mean, he was really hyped about masks during COVID. And took it a step further to saluting our brothers

and our fellow Abrahamic religion Islam. Just saying, hey, they got it kind of right. You don't know what's under there. Just leaving something to the imagination. Yeah. the big reveal Yeah Miss Piggy candidate

This email has a bunch of little things in it He gives us a photo of a lady in Austin Kristen Curry Meteorologist in Austin The only reason I watch the local news he says From WXAN Big fan my

ma'am We respect you Then he has Gummy Thoughts isn't cereal with milk just cold soup Say that again? Hispacho is cold soup Is cereal with milk

cold soup? Oh. And then he says, Why are there no grape or watermelon-flavored ice creams? You guys are great. Those are called sorbet. You guys are great.

Substack is not. I can't wait to move my sub back to Patreon. Hey, you could do that. What is that? Patreon.com slash the dumb zone? Yeah.

Just get an annual. Or you can go to dumbzone.com. That's the one that this guy hates, is the dumbzone.com one. I got a couple things. Words, Dan is ruined. This from Garrett. He says, Vane.

Which one? The alternate? I think the main one. Oh, the main one. The main one. This is from me. DNA. You're saying that I've remembered.

That's going to ruin that for you? You have. When you think about DNA? Yep. Or when I read about it. That's definitely true. But I also, in talking to my wife the other night, and this came up, not in the way you might think, I want to put DNA on the list of stuff I thought was going to be a bigger deal. I think we discovered it when I was a kid.

It's a big deal. It was a big discovery. And I get, I don't get it. That's what I should say. I don't get it. As far as solving crimes. Right. I don't get the magnitude of it, but I just know it as a time.

I thought I was going to have to basically understand how DNA worked as an adult. Like go back 100 years to maybe, you know, yeah. Like, were they even getting an accurate fingerprint? No, some guy was drawing it. They could take like the how water that you drank based on just, I could just take that can and pinpoint from the billions of people on Earth who, drank that like it would either be you or joe or chappy or something like right something like that maybe you or joe but i thought we were going to do cloning well what happened there you know there's

wrong country on that stuff man wrong country barbara strican had like five of the same dog i would prefer you put that on your hero tom brady going forward what do you mean he's a dog cloner oh really i think so yeah i think so yeah if i could clone a dog it would wouldn't be any of my two dogs now. Damn. It'd be the last one I had. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

My movie trope is pulling up to the hospital and the doctor and nurse run out with a wheelchair to pick up the person from the car. God, I know. Like that one, how opposite into the spectrum could that be? Dude. Yeah, have you ever seen that? You're literally waiting. Yes. Find your own parking spot.

Right. And then I got a picture in there, Clayton. This is of a license plate. This is from Keith. said, I saw this dude and singer. Asked him if it was cool to take a picture. I should have asked more questions. What you're going to see on screen is a license plate that says EVs are gay.

And I have no issue with it. I'm just curious, how did he get gay through the database? That's a good one. Yeah. But certainly a guy who works in oil or something, right? Yeah, he's driving a Cadillac CT5. Yeah, he's gunning it. But, yeah, how did you get gay through?

Excellent. I got a news story here in viewer mail from Max. He's a Louisiana guy. And he went to a high school called C.E. Bird in Shreveport. They still run the Wing T. Nice. This year, they had a two-headed monster at running back as a team that runs the wing tea will often have, right?

We're going to give both these guys a butt ton of carries. Their names are Colin Deere and Christian Maxi. that was until Deer was arrested a few nights ago when they found out him and another guy on the team cut another kid's brake lines on his car

because of Deer being in jail awaiting bail Bird only has Maxie to hand the ball off to which leads him to breaking the Shreveport's single game rushing record with 429 yards 3 TDs on another record 40 carries which none of which would have happened

if the other guy was available. And I read this story. It is that. It's two high school kids. Like, is that thought of as a prank? Dude. And that you could be dead. And the lawyers are going back and forth.

Like, because they, I think they're charging them with homicide. Oh, so they did kill someone. Or attempted homicide, rather. It's a female student. Happened over the weekend. Follows a July incident involving the same deep. vehicle, so, yeah, I don't know, but... Cut someone's brake line.

All right. Different level. How long would I have to give you? You can't use Wikipedia, YouTube or anything. You just have to go find the brake line and cut it. No. I need this. No, dude, I need it.

You have to do it. British Joel weighs in on Greece, which we reviewed with Sarah Heppolo. Great movie. He said he had two older sisters and was. subjected to this repeatedly. It reeks of being created by a creepy older guy who ogles over high school girls and is trying to rewrite and then relive their own miserable

high school experience. And I'm looking at two guys who really love this movie. And if we refer back to the last segment, May. He says, I'm not being hyperbolic. When I say it led to an explosion of teen pregnancy in the following decade. as I know it was forced down my throat that if you were not smoking and screwing

in high school, you were now a square. But don't worry, if you think you're pregnant, you'll find out you're not. He says it also includes... Don't worry, I'll stop all this teen sex with social media. You happy? You're happy what we're doing? He says, includes some summer loving,

having some fun. He says includes one of the biggest movie tropes for me, British guy, which is those huge storm drain channel things they race in and Terminator 2 and Point Break. As a Brit, I was convinced every town in America had one of these. I've never seen one. You know? What is that?

Is that an L.A. thing? It definitely feels like a California. The L.A. River? The L.A. River? Yeah. That's from D.F. Joel, our colonial cousin. Oh, yeah. Terminator. It was probably the same thing, right? The same area. Hell, it may be the same one.

Ponnius jumped that same river and roller skates in a bikini outfit. That is right, isn't it? I think it was also in GTA 5. Did we ever talk about that when we were in L.A.? Blake and I were watching the news one night, and they were doing a story about how annoyed the people in one neighborhood are because it's on GTA 5, and the people won't stop. It's like the breaking bad house.

Like, it's packed every day, people trying to just do social media photos. T.C. was telling me off the air that that's, he was so excited when he first went to L.A. because he was driving places that he had driven many times before. I saw a Google Map filter the other day that lets you, like, see every movie scene, like, where it was filmed. So if you type in an address, it'll show you. That'd be great.

You know, what's closest to you, which here. I did the Nathan for you tour. Like on my own. In me and my daughter, around L.A. Like we went to the hot dog, whatever. Remember that hot dog place? Yeah. That's awesome.

That is cool. The place when they had. the imitator. There was a place on Hollywood Boulevard that they had gone in. It's, if you, like, we, we fret, we're fresh off watching the series. Yeah.

That's awesome. So we went to all the places. Do you see the new Nathan for you thing? Yeah. I did. Blake's against it. Sometimes, listen, Blink made albums I didn't love.

It can be your favorite and still have a couple that are your true favorites, you know? Like Nathan for you, is so great I think this is the way you feel I loved it so much I think that is the perfect Nathan

and I think to Nathan like he's too smart and too like he needs to evolve out of that we wish he would just still do Nathan for you

but now what he's doing is so high concept like some future civilizations will understand it better than we do you don't want to just do that same show over and over I know but I also don't want to I also don't want my smash-mouth singer cursing and trying to fight fans.

Like, I just want to keep Nathan Fielder doing Nathan for you, and I just want to live in that space. I feel like it's a different... I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. But a guy... This is like why I always say the DES thing, which really just means you have to take people as they are fully, right?

A guy who's brilliant enough to make Nathan for you is never going to stop at Nathan for you. He's going to get... And let me tell you something else. He seems like a guy who probably somewhat takes care of himself. Imagine how weird this is going to be in 25 years, provided we're still here. It's only going to...

Now you're talking like this? It's only going to get weirder from Nathan for you and Nathan Fielder, but I love it. You're now talking about it? Are we still going to be here? No, I mean, everyone's talking about it, it seems. I don't think about it or care about it too much at all. Like I told the lady on the phone yesterday,

I could go today and I feel good, especially after that high school football email. There was that tweet the other day. Yeah, I know, the anthropic guy. But then everybody tore that guy up too. Why? He's a motherfucker work here for three weeks. I sent you that article.

I know. So if everything's going to be done in 25 years, should I just stop wearing a rubber? All the chicks on... Letting off in that thing? You know what I mean? Like, let's have some fun. I have a final one.

If you guys want to go. Yeah, yeah, you go. Then you ready for a final one? Yeah. It's a, it's a yay boo. Hello, Daniel. This is from Michael. A new business opened where I live in Austin.

So I have three pictures that go with this one, Clayton. We'll go through them slowly. But here's the first one. He said, this is great. Hey. Finally, the perfect spot for the East Central Austin Beehive chapter to meet. So it's a... East Central.

It's called the beehive deli and market. There's a little, it's just BE, but there is a picture of a beehive in the logo, whatever, it's a deli. So he's like, oh, cool. The beehive, but my excitement died quickly because this business is the equivalent of throwing into a five-man box. The next photo will show you a little more about the beehive. Ouch. It is a, here's another sign, plant-based deli and market.

Get it out of here. What is this? It is plant-based. Now, I'm excited personally, but Blake Jones. I'll hear him out. I'll walk in. I'll peruse the menu. Well, he does have a menu.

It says, it's why Hillary lost restaurant edition. My disappointment lingers to this moment. I'm not a all-meat all-the-time guy, but any place that spells chicken with an X needs to be shut down. Oh, that's very cute. It's like Latin X. they're doing the political thing. But they spell it.

That's funny. Tell Blake, I'm sorry that they're dragging his name through the mud like this. That's from Michael Martz. They also spell beef, B, capital B, capital E, lowercase, E, F. It's beef. Yeah, I mean, you can be plant-based and creative. Like, don't just do fake meat. Do cool combinations.

There's no way you can be plant-based and taste good. I think outside the hive. I found out last night that, do you guys know, this would be a good ender? He goes silent on me. Did you guys know that the bee from Cheerios has a name? What is it? Buzz. Give up.

Cheerios has a bee? Yeah. It's like they're made. He brings the honey nut Cheerio. Well, Honeynut Cheerio. Oh, okay. Just for Honeynut. Also, Cheerios is.

Regular Cheerios doesn't have a bee. Is there such a thing as, regular Cheerios? Yeah. I didn't know that. I thought we just had Honey Nut Cheerios. Well, let me tell you something. Surprisingly low score on a...

I was about to tell you. Yeah, yeah. I checked it just the other day. I've written a complaint to them through this. I checked this just the other day. Not what you're going to get with... I don't know. Go for it.

Parlay. We want to... Don't forget the Parlay Collective is our marketer. What do we call them? There are marketer. they will help you get the message for your business out there. They helped us with a bunch of sales decks, helped us with a bunch of graphics, website stuff. They're for businesses, brands, creators to help you with your strategy.

Look at this cool hat. That's Parlay Collective hat. There you go. It's Parlay Collective.com. If you want to run advertising campaigns, if you are looking for analytics, for social media, if you want a newsletter for your business, they'll help you grow your business. They've helped us, and that's what they'll do for you at Parlay Collective.com. Collective.com.

Here's James. We need a jingle. Gub. So, news. All right, let's start here. Emmett Smith is in the news. As he's being sued by an investment company

over claims that he and his investment company misappropriated almost $3 million of a loan that was supposed to go to a wind farm project in Texas. Where'd it go? We don't know yet.

It appears that they, the accusers say that Emmett Smith and his business associates pocketed it. Now, the problem for NFL career rushing leader Emmett Smith is that this investment company is a Native American investment company. So I'm not sure that it gets in the headlines if it's not, hey, looks like he's ripping off the natives. Lawsuit claims that they lied about that they lied about that they. lied to the invas, you know, the natives have a lot of, a lot of, the natives lied or the, that Emmett and his people lied to them. Oh, well, that's American tradition. I would say, right?

That's kind of why I was doing this story, is that he's like, I thought this is what we do. I thought this was America. We, we make treaties and then we just don't honor them, right? That's, I thought that's the whole bit. I read the history books. That's not even the Howard's Inn history book, like in the regular history book. They're like, yeah, did make this treaty where they just live, uh, west of um it's like ohio and you gotta all have that for the rest of time and then you know

yeah but we want it now but they do have uh you know brunuch talks about this a lot they do have a lot of funds uh in debt not you know the native americans yes oh really because they get um like the alaska thing somewhat like that yes if you are an actual tribe member which is least sometimes I believe to a whole other host of problems because they don't have to work. So once again, the white man gets the shaft. Yeah. No doubt. Where's our fund?

This is a sad story that I typically would not do, but it's a story of two husband and wife from Arlington who died in a freeway crash between Hillsborough and Cleburne over the weekend. Very, very sad story. I mean, they were together, though, right? So not a situation like you and your wife. It depends, yeah. I mean, what if they're not getting along? That'd be terrible. Here's why I'm doing this story.

There's somewhat of a positive spin here. These people were big bowlers. That's the positive spin? There's news stories about how the bowling community is mourning them. Like if right now... You're in the bowling community. I am. It says Arlington...

It's a little more specific, kind of like the north-central Austin Beehive, but it says Arlington Bowling Community mourns husband and wife killed and crashed near Hillsboro. What community would mourn your loss, if any? Local radio. So what? Yeah, what. And how much bowling do you have to be doing for the local? It can't be with your job.

Right. Okay. So clearly we have tens, if not hundreds of people would care if we died. but give a geographical location and then get what the thing is. I'm pretty sure Great Mind flag football or it's not happening. The Garland Domino's community mourns the loss. The Loss of Bleaheons would be crushed. The old folks home.

Well, the beehive is like saying the World Wide Web. You don't, that does not localize it. We've got a number of, uh, of pieces of communication with people saying, the show needs to go to Kanye. I almost went to San Antonio to see him. Luis went. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. How was it? He sent me a ton of videos. It was incredible. It was incredible. Like is Kanye going off, or is he great? Is he Kanye? I think the concerts are pretty great.

He is earning his way back. The set lists are insane. He's doing 35 songs. Not going to do all of all of them, but... What if he holds up again in Hawaii or something and just gives us... I think there's a... You got to let that go. What?

It's not happening. You don't think? No. Another comeback? Because that was a comeback from the VMAs and the... I think Dan... Taylor Swift thing. I think you're closer to being right than wrong.

Because he's got Cuddy Beck. And everybody knows... Cuddy's not the same either. Well, maybe that's what he needed, though. He needs. to get back to yay. While Diddy's trying to blow his house up and his Christmas presents or whatever,

I'm look, I'm not, I could go without ever hearing from the guy again, but I would absolutely go see him if you guys went with me. Because we were talking about AT&T. We were talking about this in the group chat. It feels like something you'd want to be out of town for. Because I think it's going to be a scene, right?

Like, not like when you just go home to afterward and you're like, what just happened. It looks intense, but it is at Cowboys Stadium on November 7th. Let's see when that is. I will be an indie. What do we got going then? Colts.

We're not doing a game stream that weekend? Nope. He did San Antonio's Alamo Dome on July 4th when San Antonio Mayor Gina Ortiz Jones called for the city to cancel their performance. Yeah. Because of Yeh's history of... That's when.

Being yay. Some of them were getting free tickets to the show, too. That's right, yeah. And then they had to denounce it. Actually, I'm... A couple fun political stories, as they always are. Did you see that the big inflatable airplane slide accidentally triggered on Air Force One yesterday? I read that.

It looks really funny. Really funny. Is that from the new plane? that some country gave us? Cutter, Qatar, Qatar. I didn't see it. Does it look? It looks really funny. I saw Trump was in Dallas yesterday, and he was doing his rally, and he was talking about the Luca trade.

Well, we'll just move on right to that then. Oh, you saw that? Oh, yeah, I got a couple things. This is your lane. Of course you saw that. This is... You're probably there. This is Trump talking Luca.

Now, this is a very strange situation, because Lubliana is not a big place. and Trump's wife is from there, or at least very near there. And so is Luca. So it's virtually impossible that they don't know who each other are. Okay, so that's why he knows who Luca is at all. But, and I know this sounds hyperbolic, because a lot of stuff could have happened, and a lot of stuff goes into the soup.

You do not have to look hard to find people that will tell you, Miriam Adelson is the reason Trump got elected to another term. Okay. She. Okay, so he knows they kind of own the team. Yeah. He talks to her. She's like, I don't know anything about it.

That's as far as she probably has it. But he knows her very well. She's like my idiot son-in-law. Yeah, it's dumb ass. The best player we've ever, you know. Yeah, because I don't think Trump has. They are sitting there laughing about their. Trump has no respect for Dumont.

He was friends with Sheld Nattelson, Aedlson, as a, you know, an old, old head, mafia type. But he thinks of him as just like his kid. Exactly. This is just some... Yeah. There's Trump on Luca. Like this, this is a big Dallas Mavericks team, which is going to be hopefully good. I don't understand... I must

tell you, I don't understand the trade. That trade is... Why do I know about basketball? I would say that was not going to... It's not going to go down as the greatest trade in the history of sports. It might go down as the worst trade in the history.

What else? Well, actually, okay, you know the worst trade in the history of sports, right? You guys know what he's going to do? He's a hundred-year-old man from Brooklyn or from Manhattan or whatever. The great Babe Ruth. Babe Ruth, 19-year-old pitcher for a 36-year-old. Let's skip ahead. Maybe we could redo that trade.

I redo deals all the time. We got to redo. We got to redo that deal. Crushing. I don't get that deal. You know, some deals you understand. I understand. but that one I didn't quite get.

Somebody from Dallas, I'm sure, can explain it to me. Now, did he... I would pay money to have a crowd in my palm like that. Did he do the cigarette around his head thing? Oh! Flicked it out there. What's your name? He's got a new bit now, and if... Anybody who's listened to the president for a while now,

much like a fucking... talk show host or a comedian, when something hits, he knows and he will go back to it a lot. He'll throw stuff out that doesn't work and you'll never hear it again. But when he realized that people really liked him doing the trans athlete pretending to lift weights, he kept doing it. Well, what he currently loves is telling you that you should vote for Ken Paxton for Texas Senate, but also that he's disgusting. Ken Pack.

Okay, hold on. There you go. There you go. And I'll go backstage. Sir, you shouldn't have said that. You've given them a sidel. Let me tell you. It's true.

He may not dress right. He may not talk exactly perfectly. And he may not be the best-looking guy I've ever seen. But you know what he is? He's the greatest attorney general in America. And he deserves to be your next senator. So we got all that in, but... I'm sorry, Ken.

Where the hell is he? He'll never speak to me again, but that's okay. We have to allow him. Again, just... He may not dress right. He may not talk exactly perfectly, and he may not be the best-looking guy I've ever seen. Like, what?

Unbelievable. He kept going. Ken Paxton. Ken Paxton. Folks, look at his eye. It won't look back at you. It's lazy, folks. He's Ken with a lazy eye. Is that eye in welfare?

Did we drug test the eye? I'm just kidding. But seriously, he's a gross-looking man. He looks like an incomplete animorph's character. Do you remember animorphs? R. L. Stein, trying a little something different than goosebumps. We love goosebumps. And we love Ken.

Remember animorphs? I think that's really funny, but it does go to show the difficulty that SNL or something has, right? Or late night shows. Like, when you first started playing that, it's clearly it's not him. But it is something you wouldn't, like, if he said that, you wouldn't be like, oh, no. Well, that's why. It's hard to add on to it. I do think James Austin Johnson is perfect because he doesn't do politics typically.

He's just, you know, Scooby-Doo and whatever else. But he would actually absolutely say so-and-so is an ogre or whatever, like, or that he hates him, but like whatever, he just did it. So it's. Trump on the Geico ad is, that's one of the funniest. What's that? So when he was doing his little blog? Yeah.

That's the thing you have to know about a lot of these people. You're like, oh, they came out of nowhere. Something has to be done about this terrible. So you got to say what this is. Like, so this is years before he was. president. Yeah. He would just be like, I want to do a blog.

I want to do a video blog. So there was no Twitter and stuff, right? So I need to get my, I need my opinions to be heard. No one's listening to me. I'll, I'll just put it out there. He would just sit at his desk. Yeah, there's a million of them. Something has to be done about this terrible, terrible Geico Ed.

This is the worst I've ever seen on television. Something has to be done. They've got this third-rate guy acting like he's Humphrey Bogart. He's driving people crazy. They must be spending tens of millions, hundreds of millions of dollars on it. It's a horrible commercial. It's great. Look, he's a man of many interests and talents.

You don't have to just lay up at one, right? Fixing the world. I'm going to go out to L.A. for this one, because I've had this story for a couple of weeks, and now they've followed up and caught a guy. The L.A. County's District Attorney's Office has announced the arrest. of a 39-year-old man who is the serial sniffer? This man is on camera

time and time and time again crouching down behind women in department stores and sniffing their bottoms. He was actually on parole for sniffing asses when he was most recently caught. This is illegal, you're saying. Can't just sniff a little butt? Yeah, what is the asses?

actual charge. You don't touch her. Delicious Chinese meal. This is the payoff for your bingles, Cowboys, bat? Four games is a lot. I like four spots better

in defense, but four games is a lot. But yeah, no, there was a video. Definitely. There was a video, he first went viral on, there's a viral video of this guy on TikTok at a Barnes and Noble. There's a woman

filming yourself. This is the problem with being a creep now, is that there's women everywhere filming themselves for content. Once again, white males getting shut out of the game. And so if you're back checking your footage from the day of reviewing this book at Barnes & Noble and there's a fucking guy nearly down the background,

you call the store and they put the guy's name out and put his face out there. So the walls are closing in on this guy, big time. Or are these types in general? Yeah, it's tough. Sniffing.

I love it. Seemingly harmless. If there was a world. These are of age, right? We're sniffing. It's intrusive. It is intrusive. But if there was a world where you could...

You shouldn't have that thing smelling so good. Holy she's. The dumb zone news. It's not my fault, Judge. That's a good news. Are you have any mind to talk about Braintopia for a moment and let people know how that's been treating you and your kid? Absolutely. I was there yesterday. We go twice a week. I get treatments done there. Brain Topia is neural feedback. Am I smart enough to explain this to you? I am not. Are you smart enough to look it up and call and talk to the people at Braintopia? You are.

Is it neural or neuro? On the screen it says neuro feedback. And I'm just trying to help your show. Do you feel like that's what you're doing? Nope. Okay. But I think people will remember that BrainTopia. Yeah, BrainTopia Centers.com. If you have, we actually have a friend that we know that had a pretty traumatic brain injury that is going there to try to deal with that. Sleep issues, addiction issues, ADHD, things that start in.

You guessed it, folks, your brain. ADHD. That's what they're there to help. you with. So learn about your brain. You'll get 20% off your map. And then from there, whatever you decide to do, they got over a dozen DFW locations. Scheduling is super easy. You go in, you watch TV for 30 minutes. That's the treatment at braintopia centers.com. Happy birthday. Thank you. We have a few viewer mail birthdays, viewer mail birthdays for today. Including one guy who sent me one for September 30th. You don't really have to get ahead of the

game that much. But, you know, I'll try. I'll try to keep track of it. Dear C. Commander. This person, a lady, she wrote out the full word. For shame. Which means she likes to party. She says, I'd like to wish my husband Jason Coco a happy 50th birthday. We are both big fan of the pods.

Appreciate what you're doing. Love the comedy nights as well. Oh, well. More T.C. Soroy and Julie. Anyway, I hope his 50th birthday is as special as he is to me. Thank you for helping facilitate part of that from Crystal Coco. That, unfortunately, is a very hot name. Yeah.

Yeah, my wife would never write something like that nice about me. Anyway, dear... You know what's funny is my wife listens to the show a lot, and it's never that stuff that she takes out of it. She never hears like a woman being really nice to her husband and is like, oh, I heard your show today. What does she take away from me? It's more like, oh, I heard what y'all are saying about what you're going to do about this. You go to Houston, Seattle.

Just one big party. Yeah. My chances of going to Green Bay ended with that being mentioned on the air. I'm told her about that. What is she doing, listening? Don't listen. I don't like this. Unless she's going to lock in for an annual

Out of your own bank account Not don't take his bank account I'm not VINMO and you 4299 Or whatever happened You guys have your own bank accounts Do Dear the Clam Grand Slam title winner

It is Epic's 40th birthday today Do you remember Epic That's a person I'll tell you who this is from in a moment Leaders are J.K. Dobbins' mom the late the great Gilbrant's thoughts on Dwayne Haskins and people who bring their kid

to someone else's 40th birthday trip Oh no This is from Anna Kay Now Epic I'm trying to read between the lines here It's his 40th birthday Is she upset that one of her friend groups Brought their kid to the

I don't know I don't know what's going on Yeah that feels But I support Anna in all her endeavors. Me Too. Hashtag Me Too. That's where that all came from.

I mean, honestly, my dog, if she wants to take a run at it, if she's got, you know. Yeah. You've never. An itch? You ever done it to a living dog? Oh, my God. I wonder what it's like having to. You have such a giant dog.

It's really not. Because my dog, my little toy poodle, for some reason this past weekend, his right back leg went dead. Now, he's like 12 years old. Oh, no. But he wouldn't walk. And then we'd set him up and he'd like just cry. Like a tripod that just sort of. So we had to kind of hold him up for him to go pee. And then carry him outside and just set him in the grass. Like he can't walk up the stairs now. He can't walk down. He's getting better. He's walking around the house. But for some reason, it's just leg stopped working. What would I do with your giant disgusting dog if his leg stopped working and he just laid in the middle of the floor.

Well, that's... You can't... It's hard to pick him up, right? It is. Or is that when... It's been hard. You know, obviously, you gotta get him... Is that when you call an accident?

You got to get him in the car in the back of the Explorer. That ain't easy. That's an 85-pound deadlift right there. And then in the house, yeah, we got wood floors. You know what they're going to tell you at the vet? Lose some weight. Keep a look at them. Keep an eye on them.

Yeah. It was $1,000 dollar MRI. Yeah, can we do an MRI on it just to see? Well, yeah, looks kind of bad. I don't know. Keep an eye on them. Wait. Yeah, it's obviously a racket.

That's after you pay for expedited MRI results, right? Yeah. They're like, in front of my kid. But like, we're late enough. Do you want this now or do you want a Monday morning? Do you want the info Monday morning? We're late enough in the show now that this is really gross, really gross. So trigger warning, whatever.

You don't understand how far down the list getting her up off the floor, like, lifting her leg. Like the diarrhea, dude. It's every day for me. That's what I'm doing for 15 minutes every day with a jet spray hose. I put like smell, like I put powder on the fake grass to make it smell better. It's a different smell. It's insane, dude. And it's every day.

And I'm like having to drain my backyard. It sucks. So if her leg isn't working, then I'm just waiting on the next leg to not be working. And then hoping. And finally, dear Dan, today we recognize the 15-year wedding anniversary of good DZ listener Brad Calhoun. What? We do this primarily because he won't stop talking about it. Are we doing wedding anniversaries?

Jay goes on to write, Brad's leaders are contrarianism, big brother, and his wife's tremendous rack. Please give your best wishes to the happy couple on many years of us. No. Yeah, I'm voting hard against this. I like Jay, I like Brad, but what are we doing? Is the amazing rack attached to this email? Now, if it's the anniversary of those, I could see getting an email. Today's the sixth anniversary of my wife's upgrade.

All right, well, I don't think so. So sorry, man. We're not going to read that. Game Day Men's Health presents on this day in history. We're going to call Game Day location today for our spot. for a minute. Today in history, it is September 10th, as Jake says, 9-11 Eve. I wonder if we could get a hold of that lady that I went to high school with.

Who said you're the... Are people like you or why 9-11 happened? Yeah, that's what it was. Like she said it on 9-12? It wasn't long after. Did you feel bad about that and take inventory? or just like, dude, bitch? I was a tear.

I had just been benched. Do you look back and say... Oh, okay. Locker room was revolting. The guy who replaced me, now that we've chilled out from that attack on my character, he OD'd like two years after replacing me.

If you record your name and reason for calling. I'll see if this person is available. Dial it again. To what you were to start. Just to let you know what kind of a gamble the coaches were willing to take to replace me. It was a guy who wasn't alive two years later. They're like, we'll roll the dice with this one. Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling.

I'll see if this person is available. Are you a person? The dumb zone. So what does this do? Now, like, you're so busy in your life, you can't. I don't know. Like it screens calls for you? Maybe.

Have you done this? No. Is this active on your phone? Nope. Oh, hello. Hey, is this Alyssa? It is. Hey. You found me.

Yeah, we called Alyssa's phone. She's at the Mansfield Game Day Men's Health. Is that correct, Alyssa? That is correct. We talked to you many moons ago. Do you count the passage of time via the moon, like I do? I do, yeah. Many moons ago we talked to you and then we were upset that we didn't get to talk to you during the World Cup because we knew you must have been really fired up about that.

I was and I was really happy when we didn't have to play with you guys just so we could beat you. The U.S. you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we don't care about soccer. Wait a minute. You do. You do. You don't care only just because you lost. That's all. That's how he does things, Alyssa. Typical American. We got real football coming up here this weekend. I know. I don't know much about that.

You'll have to teach me. Okay. So did you say last time you were on with us, you're from Essex? I am. We have a British listener who said that I'm just going to read you what he said. Oh, Lord. Okay. She actually did not sound like the typical Essex girl, but they are renowned for the wrong reason.

Alyssa. What does that mean? There is an entire Wikipedia page for Essex girls. A bunch of doorknobs. There's a reality show. The only way is Essex. Yeah, that's true. I watched that for years.

But yes, we do have a bad name from back in the day. A blonde type stereotype. Well, anyway, we're calling you for our Game Day men's health commercial today. We have extended the invite to Alyssa. for an in-studio visit whenever she's able to do so. It's all up to you, Alyssa. Yes, I'll be there. But really, the most important thing is telling all you guys that they need to come in for their PSHX.

Since September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, we want to make it really important. Now, we want everyone to know. I think that's a wonderful message. and I was disappointed to learn how you do it now. Why? Because we make it easy. We have a blood test. Yeah, Jake likes the finger in the butt.

Two birds, one stone type thing. Yeah, we can't be doing that in here. But we'll definitely do the blood test and we can make it hurt still. No, I'm kidding. Excellent. We actually heard from a listener that did his PSA test at Game Day and they found, like, his levels were elevated to the point he had emergency, like, tumors removed. Yeah. Like the next week.

They caught it. They caught it. That's the whole point, right? Yeah, that's it. So we don't care if you're old, you're young, you know, if whatever, we need you to come in and just get tested because it's so important and it's so silent. And while you're there, ask about TRT, peptides, anything else that can get you feeling good. What about the game stream? Get in on the game stream.

Do you know about this bit, Alyssa? What's that? So we do these game streams and you could win a chance to join us. us as we do one of our game streams, our cowboy watching party. Oh, yeah, I know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just got to go to any game day men's health, mention the dumb zone, and do the test.

Get your levels checked. You'll know if you have, or at least you can get an indication on that prostate thing, and then you also are going to see how your T levels match up, right? Yeah. Just get you feeling good. And my, my PA just came over and handed me a note and said, nobody cavity searches here. Thank you.

All right. All right. Yeah, we're trying to get people out there, listen. Don't tell people. So, yeah, you're at the, you are at the Mansfield location. Where exactly is that? We are opposite Mansfield High School. We're off of East Broad Street.

Okay. And are you sometimes at the other, I have understood. understood that you're at another location sometimes. I am, yeah. We are also over in the North Richard Hill's location. So we're off of Mid-Cities Boulevard, and the Birdfield High School is opposite us as well. All right.

We're very familiar with that area. How long have you been in the stage? A lot of touchdown scored in that stadium, Alyssa. Said that again? Never mind. Yeah, Jake's a big football star. All right, well, Alyssa, we look forward to having you in studio at some point. you're choosing

and we want everybody to go to gameday.dumzone.com and then find your local game day men's health or drive across the Metroplex just to see Alyssa. Come on in. Come on in. Get your PSA checked. Get your 10% off and

come and watch the Cowboys with us. All right. Talk to you later. All right. Thanks, guys. Bye. There's Alyssa. I hate how much I love that accent.

Really? Yeah, because I just, not a fan of their people, but that... She seems lovely. She's just too lovely. I feel like she's a delight. Yeah. Has anyone ever described you like that?

Never. Blake's a delight. Oh, my God. So today is Thursday, September 10th. This is today in history. On this day in 1971, Golden Richards, who went to Brigham Young, returns five punts for 2190.

yards, seven kickoffs for 247 yards, both of those are records against North Texas State. Oh, no. That is the University of North Texas, UNT. On this day in 1972, the U.S. men's basketball team loses its first game in Olympic competition. The Soviet Union wins 51 to 50. Controversial ending, though. Kind of like the Michigan game last week that you don't want to talk. about. The Secretary General of the International Amateur Basketball Federation.

What? All right. Tells the referees to have the players replay the final three seconds. And when doing so, the Soviets score a last second bucket. How far apart? Do you know? Like, was it an hour? I think it was right away. That's still really weird. The Americans had the lead when the buzzer sounded the first time. They protested. the U.S. would later refuse to accept the silver medal.

So they're a real sportsman like about it. You know, you want to say that's like poor sportsmanship. I mean, come on, dude. It's fucking height of the Cold War. It's USSR. Don't you think there's Americans who would have been like, no, you don't take that medal? Don't legitimize them. Wasn't that back when they were like kidnapping people at Olympics and hijacking stuff?

And there's some juice, right? There's some life. Yeah. On this day in 1989, just five days after he held home run for the Yankees, Dion Sanders returns a punt, 68 yards for a touchdown for the Atlanta Falcons. On this day in 2016, Jake,

the man who tried to assassinate President Ronald Reagan in 1981 was released from a Washington mental hospital. John Hinkley Jr. Yeah. How does your mom take life knowing that John Hinkley Jr. walks among us to this day? It's an interesting question. My guess is she's not particularly aware of what has to come with her.

Definitely, or did. I don't know about, yeah. Are you a singer now? Yeah, he was getting booked for a minute. I think he was booked and didn't or like at the Texas Theater or something. He's got a Twitter account and everything. Probably blue sky. I don't think about it.

And on this day in 2025, Australia approves the first vaccine. It's for koalas. Just too on the nose. It's for the epidemic. Apparently there was an epidemic in the koala community, chlamydia. You guys remember chlamydia? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but it's a sexually transmitted disease, right? Yeah, it always confused me that that one was. wasn't the clap. Yeah, it sounds like it'd be a clap. But I think it's just a general discharge drip thing. Like, I remember being worried about it. Don't say that.

Don't ever say that again what you just said. Got it. It didn't feel good. Either time. September 10th, this day in Dumbzone history. This day last year was our Dumb Zone day at the ballpark. We had Dave Raymond on. We had Jared Sandler on.

Jared told us he's lactose intolerant, so he's got to take a pill when he wants to eat ice cream. Oh, man. Some people would just avoid ice cream. He's got to prepare because living without ice cream is not an option. It's like a blue pill for... Kind of. Yeah. Like, you kind of got to get geared up for it.

Sarah Heplaw also came by and said she admitted to us she's had people ask for pictures of her driving. barefoot. I think I had seen some porn. It wasn't real porn. There's no sex in it. There's no nudity at all. It's an entire category on porn, all these porn sites. And it's just shots of the interior of a car and a woman revving the gas pedal with no shoes on. It's

insane, dude. And there's millions of views on these things. It'll just be like, it'll say like 68 Corvair, modification on engine, no shoes. And it'll be a woman getting in. You never even hear from her. You just see her feet. We should collaborate with her.

Sarah? Yeah. That'd be so good. Yeah, yeah. Just to drive. Yeah, she should go out to fair lease. Or have a few engines. God, that's funny.

Boy, realizing today is the day we were at the ballpark. My timeline makes a lot more sense to me today. We have a dead on this day still dead coming, I imagine, that I was not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I associate that with being at the ballpark. It's another reasons why I took the 49ers tonight. And Sarah was the, dude, they're bawling out for their boy. If anybody's laying it on the line for the Kirkroversary, it's the 49ers.

Oh, Nick Mosa. Definitely. Okay. In 2020, there were wildfires in California. It made the West Coast orange. and one of the biggest fires was started by a gender reveal party. That's true, because you'll hear like conspiracies about a homeless person started the palisades, fire, et cetera.

That one's true. By the way, have you guys seen any of the videos of the hurricane in Kauai? No. Okay, I actually think you and possibly the listeners would be interested in this, given that you, if you watched the show, saw me sitting in my house, the house we rented in Kauai. The two houses across the street on the beach, which are both like, we looked them up, seven and eight million dollars, half of them are in the front yard of my house.

The entire baby beach is destroyed. All those houses are leveled. Dang. Now, what about the chickens? The first thing my daughter said. Good. I'm glad that's my audience. I was like, they're probably gone.

You know, cats, I imagine, might have figured it out. But do the, like, these houses, I mean, it's people's live, not lives, but dream homes, you would imagine, right? It's these incredible houses. It's all just gone. Nobody killed. The chickens reminds me that Hunter Lipke changed numbers. Did we talk about that? Do you get his chicken?

He got a piece of the company. They're being very vague about everything. Is it 1%? You know, is it 5% of the company? Like JZ owning the Nets? It was like 0.09. percent of the company. Then I have two pieces of audio.

The first one comes to us from Mark Jones. Remember, the calendar was messed up in 2020, so we got basketball at this time. And Mark Jones is on the short words list. In fact, he's probably one of the first guys to start doing stuff like this. With the hezzy. Here's his entry for rebounds.

Well, it's playoff time. That means the fun guy is getting into championship mode. Kawhi Leonard, the two-time NBA finals MVP off to a great start here, leading the Clippers to a 26 to 12 lead at the end of the first quarter play, nine points for Reeves, and a couple of steals back after this. No. No. Rebes. We've been doing basketball a long time. There's a reason that one's never come up.

Rebes. Ever. And then, of course, we had playoff basketball and we had playoff hockey. This was game seven of the stars and avalanche series. Your hero was Joel Kibirontah when this was a part of the Finland broadcast. Kiviranda, Kivirata, Kivirang, Nose a terasmiecki. Jel fucking Kivirant, Kiviront, Katsimalia, tonight. One English where he says in there.

God, that was fun. We had him on. We did. He was awesome. That game was like in the afternoon. noon or something. Yes, it was like a three o'clock. So I remember watching, like, we had a couple people over.

It's like, COVID-down. Yeah. It's just gone away. WMBA playoffs or now? I'll take your word for it. Maybe. I actually don't know. I thought I heard that like a week ago, but then I haven't heard anything about it.

Yeah. It's, uh... And then you said, like, they're playing an international tournament or something. Yeah, they are. They're taking, like, two weeks off before the playoffs. It's the weirdest thing. The playoffs start Sunday, September 27th. What?

Yeah. Now, the regular season's, I guess, not over, but there is some break. Let's wait until everyone's really focused on football to get our... Right. Yeah. Like, wouldn't you plan your championship to end September 1st? Yeah. Or whatever.

Like, make it on Labor Day. Get it? Women in labor? Anyway. Back to you. All right, other birthdays today. Oh, let's make this brought to us by Frankl and Frankel. Frankl and Frankel, personal injury attorneys, if you get in an accident, 214 or 817, then dial all threes.

Someone cut your brake lines? How about that? You're going to need help. I would absolutely call him for that. I would just call him if you're not sure. You'll talk to a partner. You will not talk to intern Henry. He won't answer the phone.

Well, he might answer the phone, but he'll get you on to somebody that can answer your questions for you, help you out. They've done this for years. They're awesome. They're awesome to deal with. Check out their business Wednesday, which is on our YouTube page. Frankl and Frankl, Personal Injury Attorneys. We have other birthdays. We start with Joe Neuendike is 60. Can you spell Newindike? Do you remember when we used to do this? No. I was, no. N-I-E-U-W-W-D-K. Okay. Got it. We had to get to know that when Joe Neuendike was the general manager. N-I-E-U-W-D-K.

Yeah. You know, we went through the similar thing with... McConaug-H-H-H-H-E. I don't know if I can do McConaug-H-E-Y. Yeah, you can. Go ahead. MC-C-O-N-A-U-G-H-E-Y. Yeah. But it doesn't flow like N-I-U-W-E-K.

Charlie Waters is 78. It's former cowboy. It's Evan Grant. birthday. Don't know how it is. 29 in holding. Ranger writer. Randy Johnson, 63.

Photographer. Ticket stock. One of my favorite athletes just because he's ugly. Hey. He's not pleasant to look at. Like, I don't like Troy Aikman because he's hot. And he's the quarterback. And he's the shorts.

Like, can we get something? It's like The worst person in the world is Justin Thoreau Although he doesn't have height, right? 5'9 We got that. It's an important one to remember. Got the hog, though.

Randy Johnson seems awesome. Does really bounce it all out. For a while, his daughter would post videos making fun of him with the level of disbelief that he was ever a pro athlete. I think she would ask him if he wishes he was ever athletic. Oh, one of the scariest pro-athlete. man.

Oh my God. You get the Randy Johnson flu. Dude. Yeah. The scariest baseball player around growing up. Griffey's doing it too, right? What? Photography?

Yeah. Yeah, they were at the Masters. One of them was or maybe both of them. They are professionally credentialed photographers. Super Bowl. The Rory picture was taken by Kin Griffey Jr. That's crazy. I hear...

Randy Johnson get the higher angle. Yeah. Joey Votto is 45. Fan. Paul Goldschmidt is 39. Once, uh, kind of called over his PR person when I asked if he ever met Alexis, Texas,

while we were in college. He laughed. He laughed and he kind of did the, hey, what's this? All right. What's this? Let him talk. Let the guy have some fun with you. How quickly the locker room changed?

Internet, dude. Social media. F-dust us. Because it wouldn't be contained to... Dude, imagine if T.C. Randy Chote happened now. And there was a little video of it. Yeah. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, uh, Ben Wallace is 52.

Man. Speaking of scary athletes from growing up. Trying to do the intro. Uh, Joe Perry of Aerosmith is 76. Clark Johnson is 72. He's from the wire. He was the black guy in the wire. Mm.

Wasn't he in the wire? Yeah. I'm high. No, he's the, I would say he's... One of the detectives, right? I'd get your... No, I think. Bubbles?

Was he detective or news? Clark Johnson? Yeah. I think he was a detective. Okay. Yeah, he was Bubbs. No. Clark Johnson.

He plays Augustus Haynes, the dedicated and principled editor for the Baltimore Sun City Desk. Damn it. Do you remember that how it got kind of funky in that season when McNulty is pretending to be a murderer, but he's not. And they're looking for that guy.

And somebody's going to go live in the homeless encampment, Mitch Album style, or Mitch, what was his name? Mitch Album? McConnell. No. Dee, you know what I'm talking about? I really, I should watch the wire again because I do not. The fifth season is a little tricky.

And if you ever heard David Simon asked about it, you know, that's the thing. It's not the school teacher season? That's four. And they didn't want him to do that. And he's like, no, we're definitely doing that. And it went really well. So then they tried with five and they incorporated like the newspaper part of it. And it was like, eh.

Yeah. And he wanted to make a sixth one about basically Mexicans. And they ended up not making it. Like, because that was the time when the cartel was starting to get all the way to the East Coast. And he was starting to actually see it like in Baltimore, which I would have watched, of course. Matthew Falwell is 42. If you go to Oklahoma City to Bricktown, you become quickly aware there are like three famous people from Oklahoma City and that guy's one of them. Kings of Leon.

Yeah. I only know Kings of Leon because of Kanye. It's in like one of his lyrics. Oh. Sex is on fire. Kings of, yeah. I'm the King of Leon. I hated that band so much.

Oh, man. Robin Good Ridge is. 61, Good Ridge, from Bush, who opened for Tool. I did love some Bush. Rapper? Jake hates when I do rappers. Big Daddy Kane, 58. Before my time, but certainly belongs on this list of famous and formative artists,

much more than Lil Fart or whoever you do. A little twist fart. A little toot. Guy Richie is 58. movie director. Ryan Philippe 52, actor. Damn, man. Once sniffed the morning show co-host, right? When he and married her?

Are you? I think he was. Yeah. Reese Withers. Right? Is it Felipe or Felipe? But yeah. Good for him.

He kind of went away. When I was in high school, he was heartthrob. Yeah. Cruel intentions. I'm doing the Henry birthday of the day. This is probably the one you would say. Do you want me to let you say it? Comedian?

No. Ooh. 31 years old. Matt Rife. Henry, the first day I met him, he put his forearm into my chest and pushed me up against the wall and he's like, look, dude. You think you're funny? You ain't funny.

You ever heard of crowd work? Until you've seen Rife. It's all crowdwork. That's all he does. Pretty much. He's tried to branch a little bit. It's interesting hearing people talk about him. He looks like Cavicular.

Like it's, yeah. Plavicular. His bit is very confusing, but I can't think of him without thinking of, you know, you were bringing up the stadium earlier, that one of my favorite comedians once said that when he first heard that comedian, you just mentioned name, he thought it was an Asian person trying to say where the Giants play. Go ahead, Henry. All right, this one matters to people my age.

Your age? Yeah. What? 22. 22. Sheck Wes. Oh, all right. I'll give you Sheck Wes.

Yeah. On the strength of Mo Bamba alone. A couple other decent ones in there, but nothing remotely close to that. Mo Bamba is such a big song that it made it into one battle after another. Which I loved because what's the guy's name? Paul Thomas Anderson. You know that he just had to like drop his kid off at some high school dance or something. Because that song was not.

going away for like two years. And then it was fun, Dan, because it became very popular at college parties and football games where you may have four or five percent black population. And there's a pretty large self-edit in the chorus. Everyone just kind of has to stop. Really? Or not, in many cases.

I saw a breakdown of how, like, the song was made. and apparently the file closed mid-song, and that's where you get, they couldn't recover the audio, and so that's where they got the breakdown from. That's actually, like, them in the studio saying, oh, wow. Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah, it's cool. Well done. And our dumbs-on birthday of the day is Raymond Cruz. He's an actor. He's 62. This is him. Tight, tight, tight, tight, yeah.

You ever do Breaking Bad? Oh, yeah. Love it. My kids ripped it. Born on this day now dead, Waldo Seaman. I think that's funny, Henry. Could Matt Rife do that?

Probably not as well as you. He invented vinyl, which is the world's second most used plastic. I don't know. Dapperware? I don't know. Silicon. Also born on this day now dead,

Roger Maris. What's his best? bit, Henry. Baseball player for the Yankees outfielder. What's his big bullet point? One big thing in his career. Didn't he hit, like, wasn't he racing someone for the home run record one year? You're close enough, I think.

I think so, too, yeah. He beat Babe Ruth's single-season home-run record. And the stands were about one quarter full that day because people were just kind of like pissed that someone is approaching the babe's record, especially this guy. That's sucks. So they were booing. What did I do? Didn't it drive him sick?

And yes, he had what, eight extra games on the schedule. Babe Ruth did it in a 154 game schedule. Roger Maris 162. So they just simply hated him. Simply hated him. I'm sorry. Hold on a second here. Oh, no.

I don't know what I'm doing. The Rose Twins. I did that. Oh, all right, thank you. Breaking Bad gave us simping. I think that was a word we were not familiar with at the time. Todd. Todd, simping on, old girl.

Yeah. That is the first time I heard that. You're right. And born in the stay now dead, Arnold Palmer, golfer and drink inventor. Dead on the stay still dead. The best sports center commercial? Alex Phim, Pelt, and Stuart Scott following him.

He goes lemonade, tea, lemonade. I don't remember that Yeah, it was a good one I'm looking at it It's great He's walking around with a caddy Yeah Yeah in the lunchroom

And then I think at the end They give him a golf clap Yeah Yeah Scott Ben Pelag's That was awesome That's cool Dead in this day

Still dead We have A game show Oh Are you okay No No. This whole thing is going very poorly for me.

I started the show with singing signing mix up. Football starts tonight. Yeah. I guess that's why they call it the dumb zone. Because their lack of technical... Whatever. So this guy died on this day in what year? He was the last person in France executed by the guillotine.

What year? I'm out. What year intern Henry did Hamida Jandubi get executed? The guillotine. So the last time you would use the guillotine. That feels 1600s. My guess is 1990. 82?

The answer is 19. So number one, it's 19. 77. Wow. Yeah. You're still doing that? I remember looking to self. I know.

That's the point. Not that long ago and being blown away. And everybody wants to shit on America. They stopped doing it because they thought it was inhumane because studies had shown the head, once it's cut off and it's just rolling there, could actually stay alive for up to 45 minutes. And they thought that was just wrong. The baseball bat comes in. Yeah. And they did it a few.

few times and the first three heads all converted to Islam in those 45 minutes and they were like, we can't have this. No, that looks bad. We've got to cut this out, as it were. Also dead on this day, we have Fritz von Erick. Clayton. Bad guy. Was he the dad?

Yeah. Ted Stepion? Dan. Trade him. Who was the Cavs owner that caused a rule to be enacted. And died on this day one year ago today. Charlie Kirk. That was at the game you were hearing about that.

Fun fact that I learned this morning when confirming it was Charlie Kirk's death anniversary. Six foot five. Yeah. Did you know that? I did not know six foot five. That's exceptionally tall. But I knew he had to be pretty big

because I've seen him throwing next to Jimmy G at an elite 11 campaign. What do you mean? He was a quarterback in high school. And if you were of certain talent, you could go to a regional elite 11 good enough to go throw. Like my brother went to those. He was a really good basketball player, apparently. Really?

Yeah. Sniper. Whoa. Whoa. Jesus. And that's what happened on this day in history. You. The kids these days, you know.

Adios. We gotta go before this becomes a zoo. See you guys for drinks later. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video. him, then there is no doubt you know. All of the other ball clubs used to laugh and call us names because we never had a quarterback who played a decent football game.

Then one Thursday evening sack, Tyra took a hit. But Baker with his right arm might, Gave the Browns a win that night, then had a win that night, Then how the players loved him as it shouted out with Glee. Baker, Baker, Baker, the touchdown maker, you'll go down in his story. You'll go down in his story. You'll go.