The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 9-13-24: Week 2 of DeeZ Picks, Tua shouldn't play football anymore, and the new Sopranos documentary

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

Hear the full episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneIt's week 2 of DeeZ Picks with Chappy, Jasmine, Akaash, and Sirois. We break down the new Sopranos documentary, Tua isn't good at protecting himself and it may risk his career, the Cowboys should win by a million this Sunday, and was Heart Attack Man the caller on The Ken Carman Show? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hey now, what you're about to hear is a free preview of one of this week's episodes of The Dumb Zone. If you would like to hear this episode in full, along with the archive of all of our past episodes, please go to patreon.com slash the dumb zone. It's only a hilariously priced $6.90 per month to subscribe. We like Football Friday. We like picking games. Have we announced what we're going to call it? Is it D's Picks?

I kind of like it. So is it DZ apostrophe S? Or is it like D's? D-E-E-Z? Like with DZ TV, we're going through a little rebranding. Perhaps. We don't know what we're doing. I know.

But they seem to think we do. Do you think if we apply for credentials with the DZ podcast, that'll help us better than if we were applying with the dumb zone? I think we should say DZ TV. We're with DZ TV. Yeah. And they'll be like, oh, really? You're on a TV state?

Well, yeah. Yeah, we are. As a matter of fact, why don't you just check out More 27, KDFI, Channel 27, tonight at 9. Yeah. And then you'll see whether we're on TV. Have you seen us on the TV, Chappie? Joining us is Chappie, one of our guest pickers, of course. We have a lot of people

to join us each week and pick games. Chappie Kemp. Yes, I have, Don. Yes, I have. And I plan on tuning in tonight. How do we look? You look excellent. I mean, you have to cut out about 80% of the show to make

it appropriate, but it looks really good. Yeah, I didn't ask you about the content. I just wanted to know if he looked okay. By the time that you did all your editing and splicing, I'm surprised you could even fill that time in. But yeah, you look really good. Both of you look like you belong

on Rodeo Boulevard. We were just kind of finishing for a compliment. Didn't really need any editorial. Absolutely, Blake. Thank you. Jasmine's also here on time. Jasmine Sadry. You know Jasmine.

What's up, DFs? What's going on? Are you drinking already? Yeah. If you guys are, so am I. We're at a party. She's been in studio and given her whole story in the past. You just woke up.

Yeah. I'm working hard for No Puppet Productions. How do you think I get stuff done? Apparently inebriated. That's why there's always misspellings in your emails. Yeah. Well, whatever. Y'all get the point.

Red wine at one. Okay, that is so judgmental. I can't. What is wrong with red wine at one? Red wine always. It's good for the heart. It is. Thank you, Dan.

Thank you. She's got two and a half bottles a day. Because at this rate, that's what she's going to end up at by 7 o'clock tonight. Listen, my ticker is healthy. Because it's going to be 3.30, and she's going to be like, yeah, you know, I deserve another one. Then, well, I've got to drink at 5 o'clock. And then, yeah. It's time to switch to a Chardonnay.

All right, our weekly football pickers during the week are going to be Chappy, of course. He once moved to Vegas just to gamble. He's great at it. Just ask him. We have Jasmine. We also have Akash Singh. And he joins us.

Oh, Akash joins us from somewhere. I was going to say. Miami. I literally forgot where I was for a second. The life of the stand-up comedian. He was in Vegas last week. Now Miami. Yeah, it was a nice run.

Honolulu, Vegas, and Miami. And then after this, Timonium, Maryland. So it ends. It ends now. Maryland? These doesn't belong. So you're at your Miami house? You have houses in all these places? Or what's the situation? No, I have a hotel

and I only can afford these places with a friends and family discount. Whatever you rich comic. That's right. Not a sentence that's ever been said. Stand-up comics are so rich these days. Like three of them. Some of us are, yeah.

It's insane. Yeah, exactly. I predicted a big year for Akash Singh, and I drafted him in my SNL fantasy draft. Oh, wow. So you need to be hosting SNL by the end of this season. Or the musical guest. Okay. I'll do my best.

I've got faith in 2025 more than this year, i can be done i'll drink to that okay yeah jasmine's already drinking i wish i had faith in any year past now so stand-up comic guy let's talk to stand-up comic guy for a second because you like get up real early right aren't you like a 7 a.m guy yeah no not at, not at all. Not at all. Oh. I was up at 5 today, but that's because I have insomnia. That's when you go to sleep, though, right?

Like 5? No, I used to. Now I try to be in bed by midnight. This is a brand-new thing I'm starting, though. Usually it's, like, 1 a.m., but now I'm trying to do, like, a circadian rhythm, just to get better sleep thing. How's that working? It sucks.

Obviously not working. You were up at 5 a.m. I know. This is the first week, though, so I've got to give it a few days and then we'll go. Oh, you just started it. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to die too. So, Chappie,

off the air, and to join us soon, we've been told, Mike Soroy, who will definitely... You know why he's not here. Definitely he will have a cocktail. I know why he's not here, but it's a bear trap unless you want to mess around. Well, I mean, I'm assuming because it's National Bald is Beautiful Day. Okay. And he's running late.

Yes. Let's go with that. assuming because it's national ball this beautiful day okay yes let's go with that it's better than the uh the hospital visit he's making right now jasmine i don't know what an ass i am i didn't know that i know how you guys you have to feed me these things that is unbelievable we told you but you forgot because yeah you're wasting i wish anyway chappy off the air you You wanted to start talking football already. You're real fired up. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I got fired up starting last night. What a butt kicking. But, yeah, it looks like a good weekend. You know, the really cool thing about week two is you really get to see a lot of separation from offensive plays. Yeah, I'm fired up about it. No one has ever said that. The cool thing about week two. Well, I'll tell you what.

You hang around. I've got quite a few of those kind of things. No, you were fired up. You wanted to start talking to Jasmine about Quinn Ewers or something. Yeah, Dan, you hushed us. Yeah, I said, no, let's do this on the air. That was a beat down, wasn't it, Jasmine? Yes, it was.

And thank God, because my last week sucked balls. As far as your game picking or just your personal? Yeah, well, I mean, in general. Well, I mean, that's fair. Game picking sucks. Right. Jesus Christ. Yeah, because I might have actually done both this week,

the game picking and personal, because I was not good at the game picking last week. But, you know, traditionally, Chappy, it's tough to pick those first week or two. Yeah, you know what? Especially since there's a lot of folks laying back on preseason. You really can't see what you've got and what you do have out there. It's very vanilla. But I would say that I think more coaches probably down the road are going to lean more into a little bit more of their players playing in preseason because you're really seeing some really slow starts last week.

You know, out of the box. Hey, Akash. Yes, sir. Do you got like a whole new set than the one we saw? I do. I do. 45 whole new minutes? I'm going to spend like a year on it but yeah i could i could do 50 right now if i needed damn that's so cool 50 minutes so you spend a year on it before actually like letting people record it um yeah this is a it's i guess each one is different

this one i wanted to like really hit every market and put a lot of time into it. I don't want to be like the guys that try to put one out every year, and then the quality just goes down. So I have an outline of what this is going to be, but I want to really pour myself into it and spend time on it. You're such an organized comic. We got any Dallas shows? I'm saving that, actually. Maybe I'll film a special there.

Are you as organized as Orny Adams? Yeah, I think so. Does anybody know who that is? No. No. He's in a documentary called Comedian with Jerry Seinfeld. Yes. And you watch why this guy is unsuccessful,

and you see why Seinfeld is successful, essentially. It's uncomfortable. Yeah. I think he's like a cruise ship comic now. Yeah, makes sense. What's so bad about that? It is uncomfortable. Yeah. I think he's like a cruise ship comic now. Yeah, it makes sense. What's so bad about that? It is something, right? He's making a living doing what he loves.

Right. He's doing comedy. It's kind of like the... On a giant boat. Yeah, on a boat. Who doesn't want to be on a boat? Probably has his own room. Free drinks.

I remember there was a time I was so broke that cruise ship comic sounded like the coolest thing to me. I was like, dude, you're on a cruise? You're doing comedy? How could life be better? And now I can do nothing but nauseating. Yeah.

Anyway, you guys want to make some picks? Yeah. Or talk about the weekend games? You want to let Chappie lead us off because he's kind of our betting leader? He is spitting fire. I want to hear this, Chappie. Okay. Well, let's first – I'll go with the Cowboy pick, okay? Okay.

Yeah. So every week we're going to make three picks. The Cowboy game, as usual, this week they are favored by – Six. Six. Okay. At home against New Orleans. Six and a half is what I saw. Okay. Six and a half. The Cowboy game, as usual, this week they are favored by six. Six. Okay. At home against New Orleans. Six and a half is what I saw.

Six and a half. Six and a half? About.5. You have to get a triple play or a lock or whatever you want to call it. And then one, you also pick a knockout game. Just for advice to help our folks. Chappie's wearing a Cowboy hat now. Chappy's wearing a cowboy hat now. Chappy's a boss.

What Korean bodega did you get that hat from? This will be out on YouTube over the weekend. Well, let me tell you something. This hat is straight from Northside, and this is a very, very nice hat. Now, let me take that off for a minute. Northside of Vegas. These are Porsche sunglasses. You won't touch them under 600, but one of the key things is these pop out,

and you can just plug in another version that I have. They're all by Magnus. They come in four different colors depending upon how your mood may be. Why do you need that? Are we doing a live spot? What are we doing right now? Depending on your mood may be. Why do you need that? Are we doing a live spot? What are we doing right now? Depending on your mood. Let me take that off so I don't distract the listeners.

That's fantastic. Can I please go? Please. Yes, please. We've been. Oh, but I did want to say three games. And then we have a knockout league that a lot of our listeners are in. Well, actually quite a few less than started because did 50% of the people have the Bengals?

Yeah, right at half. And, of course, I had the Bengals last week. Oh, Chappie, you had the Bengals last week. I sure did. Yeah, that was your only loss. That was your only loss. Yeah, somebody on this show that gave me some indications that might not be a good pick, and I just went ahead and plowed away with it anyway.

Good for you, Chappie. Screw what they think. Yeah. You know, I go down swinging. You know, if the Titanic's going down, I'm at least going to change chairs. The orchestra can still play up there at the top while Leonardo is swimming in the ocean, but I'm changing chairs. Swimming.

I'm doing something different. Just went for a swim. Okay. Cowboy game. Saints at the Cowboys at home. Everybody saw the Cowboy game last week, but more importantly, they're laying six. I'm taking the Cowboys to handle the Saints.

The Saints played the Panthers last week, had a high school score, 48 to 10 or something. But this particular game goes to me down to your different levels of quarterback. I put Derek Carr in the third level. Let's just say you do 10, 10, and 12 or whatever. I put him in the bottom third. I think he's going to have too much pass rush,

too much defense. Cowboys got too much offense. So I like the Cowboys minus six. Okay, my knockout game, you have the Chicago Bears and Caleb Williams headed over to my city of the last 12 years prior to moving to Vegas, Houston, playing the Texans. So since this is a knockout game, it's a money line only, just win the game. I like the Texans in this contest.

As a matter of fact, just look at the Texans' offense. My gosh, they got Joe Mixon from the Bengals. They got C.J. Stroud just lighting it up. They got Stephon Diggs from Minnesota. They got a great coach. Let me tell you something. If you're not a Texans fan, it's too bad, so sad because for probably the next decade

they're going to be really, really good. And the Bears last week... I was going to say, though, kind of a tight game last week, though, right? Texans? You know what? But it was on the road. Score was a little misleading. Late score

touchdown really didn't have an impact but let me give you one thing about the bears taylor williams was the only quarterback out of 32 that didn't have a pass completion over 15 yards he is not currently an nfl quarterback i get all the usc high i get all that he runs around a lot he's not going to be able to do that with the D'Amico Ryan's defense. He certainly is not going to put enough points up. The Texans are going to beat the Bears. I don't know by how much, but they're going to beat them more than the money line, and that's all you're looking for with a knockout.

Okay, so my triple play of the week, I'm going west coast to east coast. The Chargers are headed over to Carolina By the way, Carolina Panthers are the worst team out of 32 In my estimations Would it be any surprise if I told you that Bryce Young His second year has actually somehow or another Gone backwards from the first year He has thrown 81 pass attempts now

Currently the streak is still running without a touchdown. The Carolina Panthers are by far, last week, the Saints housed them. Okay, so the Chargers are headed that way. They're laying five. It's going to be a very boring game. Harbaugh is convinced that he is going to get that offense just like Michigan. He is going to pound the rock, pound the rock, pound the rock. But I think Herbert will get an opportunity this week to fling it a little bit

here and there. It could be a 22-10, 24-14, whatever. I'm just looking for the Chargers to cover the five against, arguably, the worst team and right now the worst of the starting quarterbacks for us young. So I'm taking the Chargers minus five on the road against the Panthers. Chappies, lock of the week. It's really amazing what has happened to that team since David Tepper bought it.

Oh, it's horrible. It's horrible. They haven't made one. Pardon? No, I was just going to say they haven't made one correct move. No, he is a Jerry Jones starter kid. I really thought Matt Rule was going to be it, though. I thought Matt Rule was the guy.

Oh, yeah. Well, the owner ran him out. Now, Matt Rule was probably a better college coach than pro. Did you see Nebraska? I know they played Colorado last week. But Matt Rule has a quarterback. And look for Nebraska to stay very competitive all year long. Nebraska, I know they played Colorado last week, but Matt Rule has a quarterback. And look for Nebraska to stay very competitive all year long.

Who puts H in the name Rule? That's my hot sports take there. That's right. Have some more wine, Jasmine. Yeah. All right, Danny, you want to make your picks for Jake? Yeah, sure. I don't know what he did last week.

That's irrelevant to what your picks are right now. Jake last week went one and four. So, in other words, you don't know? One and four. One and four? Oh, God, we can't do any worse than that, can we? No. Buckle up. I'm not going to give a lot of qualifiers or reasons.

Here's the picks. Cowboys are going to beat the Saints by more than six. My knockout, Dan, I'm taking the Browns plus three over Jacksonville. Wow. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Well, the knockout pick. The knockout is just a win. The knockout pick means you can't pick either one of those teams

for the rest of the season. Just the Browns. Just the winner? Yeah. Good. I'm glad to get rid of that now. Triple play, I've got. You have to think that's a terrible pick, right, Chappie?

Well, I just want to clarify before I comment, and, you know, after five weeks I'll be underwater anyway. Nobody will even ask me. But you're actually saying the Browns are going to go on the road and beat the Jaguars straight up? I'm saying they're going to not get beat by more than three. No, no, no. That's not correct.

So the knockout pick means just win. I did not know that. The triple play or the lock is against the spread. That wasn't clarified at all. No, I don't think they're going to do that. Let's just reverse that then. I'm going to take Jacksonville over Cleveland. Who's the one drinking wine now?

I thought it would be, yeah. Okay, and then triple play, I think that Texas will score or beat San Antonio by more than 35.5 points. Dang. Yeah. Who are they playing? They're playing UTSA, University of Texas at San Antonio.

The Roadrunners. Yeah. I think they're going to probably beat them by about maybe close to 60. I think you're probably right. I feel like Arch will have a couple of touchdowns in that game. Is that okay with you, Chappy? Is that a good bet? I think they're going to have to call a couple of ambulances there is what I think.

Ambuli. Joining us now, guys, from Florida, Mike Soroy. Wow. I'm sorry. I can only do audio only. I can't do video chat. I'm actually at the North Texas Food Bank just up ahead. We see you in a pool with a beer.

You're in a pool. You're in Florida. You have a beer. Answering the question that so many have emailed and contacted me and asked me, where's Mike Saroy? Oh, where's Mike Saroy? Is that the look of a guy writing out a big-ass severance package or what? Yes.

My God. It's not that big. There's only eight and three-quarter months left. Uh-huh. Left. It's not that big. There's only eight and three quarter months left. Uh-huh. Left. It's fine. I'm down here interviewing for the lightning play-by-play job in Florida and having a hell of a time. What are we doing?

Man, you look so Saroy. You look as Saroy as I've ever seen you look. Say hi to Akash Singh and Chappy and Jasmine and everybody. Turn your phone sideways, too. Holy shit. Akash Singh? Yes, sir. Oh, yeah. There we go. Look at him.

Actual talented, famous people doing this with us? Holy shit. Wait a minute. Come on. Screw you. Oh, look. It's Jasmine. Finally, right, Saroy? It's about time, dude. I know. No shit. There he is. Look at this handsome bastard. Hey, thanks, buddy. Are you in Miami?

I am not in Miami. And speaking of Miami, I was busy last night, so no one say anything. I have the Dolphin Game DVR'd. Oh, no. Watch it right after this. We got 2-0, and we got the end of this Bill's bullshit streak. We're going to get it done. I'm heading in

to watch that here in a minute, man. You're going to love it. You don't know the outcome. Can I be honest? It's 3 p.m. the next day. This is on you if somebody tells you. This is absurd. No, I'm with them. I support Saroy. If any of you idiots think that Mike

Saroy is not watching a Dolphins game, Yeah, that's true. It doesn't matter what bear trap he is involved in. Don't you have some Zubas, like Dolphins Zubas? Yeah, he does. People with Dolphins Zubas aren't DVRing games. If my camera could go underwater, I would show you the Zubas that are on right now. But you're not wearing any bottoms, so don't

do that. It's a home pool. Oh, do it. We need the impressions. It's a home pool. God, look at him. We don't need dong clicks. Yes, we do. You know what we need? A second flamingo is what we need. And I got it. There we go. He's got

flamingo floaties in his pool. That could have been you, Danny. My two friends. Yeah, Danny. He's got flamingo floaties in his pool. That could have been you, Danny. My two friends. Yeah, Danny. It's the fine print, homie. Clearly. So did you look at the email? Did you see, do you want to pick games?

Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I did so hot last week, but it looked like everybody sucked from what I could tell, so we're right in the mix. Chappie and Blake were both 4-1. Blake, though, keeps the record, so we can't trust that. I say them on the air now. Chappie is a degenerate gambler. Chappie's my only fellow high-level handicapper in this league,

so he's kind of the only record that I do care about. The rest of you guys I know that it's all going to work out in the end. I'm not happy with how I did last week, but, yeah, I'm ready to go, man. What do you want? Which one do we do? Let's go cowboy game, then your lock, then your triple play. Okay, it's not a bit. I did bet against the Cowboys last week, and it did not work out.

But I'm betting against them again. Give me the Saints. I believe it is plus six points. Houdat or Houdet, whichever one is theirs. I'm taking the Saints. They're not going to win. Cowboys will win, but it will be close. So give me the Saints plus six.

You have it. Pause for a sip of beer. Go ahead. I was pausing for Blake to to write it down i heard no pencil so that's why i was waiting he's got the computer i need your number nine pencil yeah exactly exactly um and then lock uh i am taking tcu the horned frogs they're playing ucf it's actually tcu's first time playing a team from from Florida since 1992 how stupid is that it's really except stupid yeah pretty well but yeah give me give me TCU to cover I think you have it at minus one what are you doing

what is happening he's waving into the air. Oh, okay. There's a helicopter. That's ridiculous. And then I'm one of the few people alive in the Survivor lock thing, and I am getting down on the Houston Texans this week. They're at home against, I don't remember, somebody kind of shitty. Chappie, tell them. Oh, wait.

The Houston Texans. Yeah. Did you take them? Yeah, you took them, Chappie. This should be on the top of your head. Yeah. Yeah, tell them. Oh, wait. Houston Texans. Yeah. Did you take them? Yeah, you took them, Chappie. This should be on the top of your head. Yeah. Yeah, the Bears. Oh, yeah, yeah.

He wasn't paying attention. He wasn't. I was paying attention. I was looking up at the sky. I don't know if that was a helicopter. Yeah, yeah. It's probably a helicopter. It's a big helicopter to cover six states.

Okay, well, you definitely hit it on the head when you said the Bears are shitty. The Bears are so overhyped. Are they ever hyped? As a Bears fan. There's a bit of hype coming out of the hard knocks and whatnot, you know? Yeah. A lot of people are like, hey, they were just a quarterback away, and this is it, and we now got our guy.

I agree. And they may be. That may very well be true, but not this year. He's got a long ways to go. Strong defense. Got a couple good wide receivers. Long way to go. All right.

You heard it here. You heard it here first, folks. Mm-hmm. Okay. I'll make my picks very quickly. I like for the Cowboys. I like the Cowboys. I think they will destroy at home.

I like for my triple play. Well, let me just give you my lock first of all. My lock, I'm going to go with – I want Chappy to like this. I'm saying picks, and I want Chappyie to like this I'm saying picks and I want Chappie to nod and say yeah this is good Give me Philly Monday night at home against Atlanta that's my Knockout pick like it's just they just

Have to win their favorite by six I think six and a half And Atlanta was able to score ten whole points Against Pittsburgh last week at home Now they have to go on the road on a Monday night. Tell me that's a good pick, Chappie. You know what? I think it's a great pick.

I don't like the six and a half. You don't have to cover that. But, you know, one thing, maybe Blake or somebody, something looked wrong with Kirk Cousins last week. He didn't look right. I think the problem is that he's Kirk Cousins. He is. Fair. He is still Kirk Cousins. He is. Fair. He is still Kirk Cousins.

He's the NBA of the NFL. No matter what happens, he ends up it's still him. Then you should be in great shape because that's a prime time game on Monday night and he always folds like a cheap lawn chair. And a curtsy laugh from the actual

comedian. And a curtsy laugh from the actual comedian.