The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 9-19-24: Jared Sandler and Emily Jones, Blake's night at stand up comedy, and Adrian Wojnarowski's departure
Episode Date: September 19, 2024Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Substack - DumbZone.comThe Dumb Zone Day at the Ballpark with Jared Sandler and Emily Jones. Blake's fantasy league had their punishm...ent which was 5 minutes of stand up comedy, Adrian Wojnarowski leaves ESPN, and the Australian Office isn't for us (00:00) - Open with Jared Sandler (24:21) - Substack announcement (35:57) - Sports: Sports Mayor, Woj leaving (52:30) - Blake's night at stand up comedy (01:12:27) - Viewer Mail (01:29:35) - Emily Jones (01:43:55) - News (02:08:49) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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Hello, I'm professional broadcaster Dan McDowell, letting you know that you are about to hear one of our free podcasts.
But, if you'd like to subscribe at dumbzone.com, you'll get four shows per week, plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus sodes like our Business Wednesday interviews.
So, if you forgot how to use the 15-second rewind, that's dumbzone.com to subscribe.
Now, on to today's program.
The Dunzo, Dunzo, Dunzo.
The Astros have got to be thrilled.
You know, you go through spring training, it's one thing, only one star last year,
and tonight for Brad Peacock, start number 69 in his career.
Nice.
And it's been a good one so far.
And look at that end. He's at 69 pitches in start number 69 in his career. Nice. And it's been a good one so far. And look at that.
And he's at 69 pitches in start number 69.
Very nice.
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
I never listen.
I'm going to listen.
I want to listen to the drums
Are we streaming today?
Is this a live stream?
It's a live stream.
Or is this live to tape?
It's both.
Okay.
To tape.
Hi, I'm Dan McDowell.
I'm Blake Jones.
No?
No buy-in?
Danny Bayless is also here with us.
We have a big program today.
We're out at a hotel.
We're at the Lowe's something or other near the ballpark.
It's our Rangers DZ day at the Dumb Zone day at the Rangers ballpark
Hundreds of
Folks have bought tickets and will join us
In our section later this afternoon
I will be there till the very last
Pitch
Of the first
Inning
I will absolutely
Make sure it's an official game
Okay how about that That's my vow to you I will absolutely make sure it's an official game. Okay.
How about that?
That's my vow to you.
On today's program, we have to talk about our Business Wednesday endeavors.
We have Emily Jones going to show up.
Dave Raymond is afraid to face the tough questions, so he's clearly hiding something.
to face the tough questions.
He's clearly hiding something.
Blake has a story,
he says. If that's a tease that keeps anybody tuned in, I don't know.
Two people actually just left.
Blake has a story.
But,
a man at the
top of my Griffey list.
You know what the Griffey list is?
Yeah.
The Griffey Bonds list.
I do.
It's Ken Griffey.
I've thought he's the most pure,
wonderful, natural athlete I've ever seen.
He's a gazelle.
He doesn't stretch, right?
He's just...
Everything's perfect about him.
And if I had found out he was on steroids at some point, that would crush me.
Crush my little boyhood love of Ken Griffey Jr.
Barry Bonds.
Oh, you found out, you think he does steroids?
Okay, yeah, of course he does.
His head is eight times bigger than it was when he was a rookie.
So along that line, we have the same thing,
a Griffey Bonds rating on guys that get busted for, let's say, Me Too,
or a guy, let's say Jake is not here again.
What if you heard at the end, wildly speculation,
it was, oh, he was actually busted for
a meth
lab and he's kind of gone away.
Everybody's like, eh, alright. I mean, it's
Jake. He's a dirtbag.
It's
not a shock. But if
this next man who's sitting next to me was,
that would ruin my whole world.
He's pure as the driven
snow. He is Jared Sand pure as the driven snow.
He is Jared Sandler of the Texas Rangers.
So when I got arrested,
that didn't change your opinion of me?
I overcame that?
No.
You were a hardened criminal,
but the system worked.
It reformed you.
You came out a better man.
15 hours. Bear County. You remember that, Danny? You came out a better man. 15 hours.
Bear County.
You remember that, Danny?
You were a part of this.
I was?
Yeah, because you started the night by sending us to a bar.
I want to say it was called Logan's.
He was arrested in San Antonio.
You remember?
Is it the place that's near downtown?
Maybe.
It was Donnie's birthday.
It was the all African American bar.american bar yes yeah and we all
walked in in the record scratch yep and older older black dudes and they were wearing like
very much they all kind of turned and looked at us yep and then went back to their you know
drinking and then someone went to the jukebox. Yes. And that did not – no one said anything,
but there were some head turns as well.
Like, what's this white guy doing, you know, touching our music over here?
There was only – I think the joke that night was there was only one white artist
on the jukebox, and it was Michael Jackson.
Okay.
But it was.
It was a old-school Soul Brother downtown bar.
I think we were there for like three hours.
We were there for a while.
A long time.
Okay, so you didn't get arrested there.
No, no, no.
I got arrested like six bars later.
They let you in with your flimsy fake ID.
I don't know that anyone really carted at that place.
I mean, my recollection of that is limited, but we just kind of walked in.
Yeah.
And then people were like, what's going on?
And then they went about their night,
and then we went four or five places along the Riverwalk.
I almost got stopped at a place called Mad Dogs
because I forgot that my fake ID's birthday was not mine,
and I decided to make a comment to the bouncer.
He made some comment about, everyone born in august and
i said not me i'm may and i'm a first well he didn't say anything but as i walked by i was like
holy crap i i it says april 30th so had you been drinking no no like why okay no i just i i never
had to use my i was in college i never had to use my, I was in college. I never had to use my fake ID.
I mean, it just, and so then the guy came and tapped me on the shoulder. And thankfully I knew right away.
He was like, hey, when did you say your birthday was?
And I said, April 30th.
That's right.
I know.
I saved myself.
He's like, okay.
I thought you said May.
And I said, no, no.
I was saying the guy behind me is May.
So he let me go.
But that should have been my sign.
Like I'm done.
House money.
We then go to Coyote
Ugly Jerry's there he's in the process of getting asked to stop dancing on the bar and I don't know
if there was heightened security because Jerry and Steven and that whole party was in there
but all I remember is everyone gets in killer is already at the bar buying shots for everyone.
And meanwhile, I'm waiting outside the bar.
And next thing I know, a cop comes from behind and asks me if this is my ID.
And I got handcuffs.
And then Corby starts MFing the cop, which definitely helped my case a ton, I'm sure.
Well, from what I understand, you also were arguing with the cop,
like telling a cop this is a real ID.
Well, okay.
Like thinking I'm going to win this.
So I want to make something very clear.
I never really got to defend myself on air the next day.
I was a participant as the story was told
through the eyes of others.
Okay.
I was in such shock,
he could have asked me anything
and I don't know what answer I would
he asked me is this
I think where I really hurt myself was
he said is this your only form of identification
and I said yes
but I had my real ID in my pocket
which probably also was maybe dumb
but it wasn't like I processed the question
it was like I am going to try and lie to a cop
I was in handcuffs thinking my life
was over. I didn't know what to say. And then the whole, the only thing that I get, you know,
people ask me about the blanket. You're aware, do you remember this retelling that I asked?
It was a very cold jail cell and you went to the bars and asked a Mr. Jail man, can I have a blankie? And yeah,
I'm happy if that,
if people enjoy including that in the retelling of the story,
they laughed at you because that never once happened.
All I said was,
all I said was it was cold in there.
And that's a great part of the story.
Yeah.
Well,
sorry to ruin your dream.
Did you get a meal?
Did they feed you?
Yeah.
I think Dan,
three hots and a cot.
I know. I think, did you feed you? Yeah, I think... Three hots in a cot? No, I
think... Did you
get raped? Oh. Jesus Christ.
Does that happen?
I'm not allowed to say. Okay. Yeah.
Because you got that...
Tattoo removal works. He had a teardrop
tattoo. Yeah, that's the
scar. You can see there's one right under
my eye, too. Yeah.
For 15 hours. i want to say they
gave you got raped and killed somebody and got a tattoo in a gang like he was the leader he went
up to the first guy the biggest guy and he just uh yeah and i had braces too so that really scared
the shit how old were you back then you walked out with pigtails okay so you were almost 20 yeah i
was nine months away what the heck yeah i had a to back out of a Vegas trip like two weeks later when I got back to college
because I wasn't going to go and not participate in any of the shenanigans.
Because you didn't have your fake ID anymore.
Where'd you go to college?
USC.
Okay.
For some reason, I thought you went to Syracuse just because every announcer goes to Syracuse.
No, no, no.
I didn't get in.
You tried?
I tried because I was told that if I want to be a broadcaster, I have to go to Syracuse.
Right.
Yeah, a lot of people hate people from Syracuse too.
Yeah, a lot of them suck.
Very self-important.
Yeah, but not guys from USC.
They're very laid back.
No, we're underdog story, blue collar from USC.
Right.
Really had to come up from the bottom.
It's amazing as you go through telling the retelling of that story
how it just kind of came back into focus
because I could have gone the rest of my life
and never remembered that any of that happened.
I wish – there was a point when I wish I could forget it all.
Yeah.
Because obviously the reach was so vast that when it was retold,
I got blown up more from that than probably anything else.
And my dad once or twice a year will still get stopped or not stopped.
He'll,
he'll be in conversation with someone.
still get stopped or not stopped he'll he'll be in conversation with someone somehow the ticket comes up and that he had a son that interned there and what did you say your son's name was
jared jailbird jared is it jared and like he'll call me he's like so excited he's like hey you
know some guy told me you remember when you got arrested yeah dad i remember
i remember flying back for winter break and having to drive right to san antonio for my hearing how
did you get bailed out what happened uh well reiner was called at midnight he thought it was
a prank and i don't blame him because obviously uh and so he went back to sleep. He hung up on, I forget if it was Donnie who called, and then Corby and Donnie woke up the next morning,
and one of them forgot I was in jail.
The other one was knocking on the door saying,
hey, we got to,
you know, it's time to get him out.
We got to figure something out.
I'm going to guess Donovan was knocking.
Yeah, I think that's what it was.
It just seems like those personalities.
They drove around. They had to get a cashier's Yeah, I think that's what it was. It just seems like those personalities. They drove around.
They had to get a cashier's check, I think.
So Corby is the one who gave the money.
Like he posted.
Yes.
Yeah.
And so they posted, but then Norm came and picked me up.
And so I was without any, I know.
I cried in Norm's belly
I remember that
I had no
I was in such shock
so he's like stroking your head
and kind of
oh it's okay
yeah
yeah
and then I get
I get into the car
you'll learn from this pal
you know he drove
and I drove down with him
here's another lesson
keep crying
keep crying
that's hot
no but here's what so I I'm showing no I'm showing no emotion I drove down with another lesson. Keep crying. Keep crying. No,
but here's what,
so I, I,
I'm showing no,
I'm showing no emotion.
I'm in such shock while I'm in the holding cell.
Literally like,
I think my life's over.
Norm picks me up.
I lose it.
I start,
you know,
I start crying.
Corby actually,
the best thing that Corby did was,
uh,
he called my dad so that he could tell my dad not it didn't come from me while i'm
in the holding cell so i hadn't talked to my dad yet i i cry into norm's belly he gave him a blow
job yep yeah he canes his way back to the car and then he gets in the car and i'm thinking i'm about
to get some sort of speech like hey lesson learned or learned or whatever. He calls his bookie. And for the next
20 minutes, he's checking the lines for some random preseason game going on. And that was it.
And then I went to the stadium. There was some sort of competition with David Beeler. I don't
know if you guys remember that. There was some like kicking or punting. I was involved in it.
Yeah. And I had set that up because I knew David from USC. Oh, okay. And that was another thing
when I was in the holding cell. I was so nervous that I was going to screw that up because I knew David from USC. Oh, okay. And that was another thing. When I was in the holding cell,
I was so nervous that I was going to screw that up for you guys.
Little did I realize that I'm just such a – it didn't matter.
I could have been on Mars.
And I get back, and then they retell the story, and that was that.
It's funny.
The bar – I do recall the bar that you first ran into trouble with your ID
where you mistakenly said
the wrong month it could not have been the polar op more polar opposite of the first place we went
was the african-american bar because i think you had to like walk through a confederate flag door
to get into that place and it was the low ceiling white folk old country it was uh very different and we weren't there long
because then someone got a call and said hey jerry's over it yeah coyote ugly you guys yeah
and then i remember you having some trouble with the uh the bouncer yeah there yeah i went back to
san antonio with my wife wait there's the, I guess the Hill Country.
I don't remember.
After we got married,
I had a broadcast
the next weekend.
We couldn't go on a honeymoon.
We went for like
a three-day getaway
right outside of San Antonio
and I went back
to Coyote Ugly
for the first time.
It was during the day.
It wasn't open
but I walked through
and I wanted to show her
like this is where it was
and I hadn't been back
and I'll be honest,
I don't really have
good feelings about San Antonio after that experience.
Did they have a little plaque there?
No, but I guess I was trespassing and this guy comes in,
he threatens to call the cops on me.
Wow.
I literally was just harmlessly walking through with my wife.
That'd be great if that's the only place you keep getting arrested.
Yeah.
But I escaped jail that time, thankfully.
Damn.
So kids, if you think you're at a low
point you're in a jail cell you're crying in some old man's belly um look what you could become
you could become uh the rangers you know do everything guy I guess probably possibly don't
you think Jared has a good chance a chance chance at least, not a good chance, but at this table, the best chance to be in the Rangers Hall of Fame someday?
Yeah, of course.
You just got to stick with it.
You got to hit longevity.
Because longevity can often be confused with greatness.
Mediocre, mediocrity with longevity is good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just got to get to the bar of mediocrity.
I'm not quite there yet.
Yeah, stick with one team.
And, yeah, we thought Grooves could have been that guy.
Just playing the tunes.
Yeah, I mean, if he's there for 50 years,
then all of a sudden they're going to be like,
oh, no, we couldn't have done this without him.
And clearly they can't.
Okay, so I got to ask you guys this.
I mean, to me this is a no-brainer.
You're going to have Emily on in a little bit, right?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, she's Rangers Hall of Fame, isn't she?
Yeah, potentially.
I mean, so what you're saying is Emily is mediocrity.
No.
No, I'll write that down and tell her about that.
We'll pass that along.
Okay.
I should just never try to say something nice.
I should have known better.
Don't you feel like you're 20 years old again?
Yes, 100%.
Well, I mean, you brought that up.
You brought up that story.
I wanted to break down the Rangers, see if we should clean house,
and, you know, all this stuff.
I know you have some hot, hot opinions.
You're ready to get out there.
But I also think you're kind of up against it.
So what's your pregame?
Well, I got to go.
What do you got to do here?
Yeah.
When's the game?
135?
135.
Well, I got to go. What do you got to do here?
Yeah.
When's the game?
135?
135.
And I've got to go to the clubhouse and do that whole run around.
What does that mean?
Honestly, these days you stand around and do nothing.
It used to be that there were a bunch of players in there.
Yeah.
We do pregame bits.
Now they have so many places to hide.
If I need a player, I just.
Do you have to set it up through pr no i i mean you're gonna make fun of me for saying this but in in full transparency
no i'll text them and say hey i need you for five minutes you know or whatever because very
the young guys like they they're in the clubhouse uh-huh and some guys will be playing ping pong
or whatever but most guys don't just sit around their locker like they used to. And then we go,
we talk to Boach.
So what do we got?
Ping pong?
What are the fun activities?
There's ping pong,
yeah.
Well,
not in the main clubhouse.
Like is the new clubhouse
way bigger than the old one?
Yes.
Because the old one
was pretty big too.
Yes, this is bigger.
Most of their fun and games
is elsewhere.
Like, you know,
the video game setups
and I think pop a shot
and stuff like that, but it's not in the main clubhouse. Just in the main clubhouse you got... It used to be. Yes, you know, the video game setups and I think Papa Shot and stuff like that,
but it's not in the main clubhouse.
Just in the main clubhouse,
you got...
It used to be.
Yes, they used to have stuff
like Within Sight.
Yeah.
There's a table
that's usually occupied
with a card game.
They play a game called Pluck.
That's the most popular game.
All right.
And then Crosswords and Sudoku
and then there's a ping pong table.
That's only what's in the clubhouse.
And then like a bunch of TVs. But most of their fun stuff whether it's like the nap room type stuff or a theater or
they have a nap so they have a place if you're a player you want to lay down there's like a bed
yeah i think pot yeah something like that huh yeah and then the bocce thing you said now i go
i gotta hear what he says gotta hear
what he says and i just might be able to use some of that on the broadcast well usually we wait for
all the writers to finish their mundane questions right and then dave and i will stick around yeah
that's a shot very yeah then you guys get the real better be better yeah dave and i will stick
around and we usually talk to bocce and talk about baseball stuff or not baseball stuff.
I'll be honest, the coolest thing is when he gets into story mode
of his days playing or back when he was with the Padres or the Giants
or some story with this player, that's pretty cool.
He's got story.
And he knows everyone.
If I were to ask you who your celebrity crush is,
because we went through this exercise with Boach earlier this year,
and mine's Blake Lively,
and I would give just about anything to meet Blake Lively.
Well, I asked Boach this question, and I forget the chick's name,
but the person who sang the song Gloria,
like the initial some, you know, 70s, 80s brunette chick,
pretty good looking.
Like, for Boach, he's met her. It's not like she's some, you know, eight seventies, eighties brunette chick who pretty good looking like for Boche.
He's met her. It's not like she's some, you know, foreign object. He's never going to touch. Like
he's, he's met these people. He's like Huey Lewis is one of his best friends. He hangs out with like
musicians and whatever. And so he's got amazing stories. That's my favorite part. And for day
games, he usually doesn't have as much on his plate by design.
And so he usually
just sits around longer and we get
Boach story time. That's the best.
So you get in there three hours before.
Do you have to go out and watch
batting practice or anything like that?
So they don't hit for day games.
So people listen because a lot of people wonder
this. When does batting practice start?
Day games, they won't hit outside
or inside if the roof's closed.
They'll take ground balls.
Some of them will.
And then we've got to go prep.
You've got to get ready for the game.
If I was doing pre and post today,
I'd come back and screw around with you guys,
but Eric's off, so I've got to be on my best behavior.
He's calling the game.
Oh, okay, nice.
Now, do you get the prime innings, or do you
get relegated to... 2-3,
6-7. Okay.
10th, if there's an extra. Okay,
so you're actually one
of the people that wants an extra, but maybe not this year.
No, I'm okay with no extras.
Always. That's a little secret
that I never knew as a little kid.
So the announcers
do not want extra innings.
As a kid, my God, that's free.
Yeah.
Free baseball.
Announcers are pissed.
Yeah, because it's free work.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, no extras.
I'm okay with that.
I'll make that trade.
But I'm excited because Kamar Rocker's fit.
You guys picked a great day.
We did this on purpose.
Yeah, Blake looked ahead at the schedule, at the rotation.
I knew he'd be called up at some point.
Seems like a Thursday guy.
Where would he slide in?
Who would he, yeah.
Yeah, I'm excited to see him.
Bochy's crush was Laura Branigan.
Laura Branigan, there you go.
Who died 20 years ago.
But before she died, they hung out.
Still would.
Still would.
I mean.
I don't know.
Okay.
Yeah, sure. Why not? There she is in know. Okay. Yeah, sure.
Why not?
There she is in all her glory.
Yeah, in the 70s, that was probably good.
I think Jared's got to go.
Oh, okay, yeah.
I do.
I'm bummed.
If you would have found the right hotel, we could have spent more time.
I know.
There's a couple different Lowe's hotels right by the ballpark.
Who would have thought?
I'll see you guys.
Jared Sandler, everybody.
Jared.
Jared. Look at him. What a man. I'll see you guys Jared Sandler everybody Jared Jared
look at him
what a man
oh look at the cool socks
and everything
cool shirt
great hair
he looks good
he's the best
looking like Paul Rudd
you look good too
it looks like you're dressed
kind of professionally
I'm wearing business jeans
today
thanks Jared
bye Jared
and then you walked in like you're at a kid's pool party or something.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
I'm just wearing my Lone Star shirt.
I've got a Rangers hat on.
I appreciate the Lone Star shirt.
As we know, they've got great gear.
And great beer.
Yeah.
But it just feels like you usually look a little more professional
For a broadcast
We're going to a baseball game
Today
I know
But it's indoors
What do you want?
You want me to wear a suit?
I mean
The people are a little disappointed
I've already gotten some texts
I got some compliments
About my shirt earlier
Okay
Well no
It's a great shirt
I think I'm dressed appropriately
I went to one baseball game last year
And it was game seven of the ALCS in Houston,
and I dressed like a cow.
So what's your excuse?
Well, how'd that go for your station?
It had nothing to do with the station.
No, that does a bit.
Yeah.
Maybe it should have been.
Hey, none of us are in radio anymore.
They'd still be on the air.
Had you done that. Well, I guess they are still on the air. Some'd still be on the air. Had you done that.
Well, I guess they are still on the air.
Some.
You're just not still.
Yeah, for some.
They're wondering which Metallica song they're going to play next.
Should we go Master of Puppets or Sanitarium?
Now, don't forget, we are doing a video today.
And that means, very potentially, you'll see some of this gold on DZTV,
unless he decides to throw out, like, really crass comments
right in the middle of Jared Sandler's talk that we thought might make the show.
Oh, about the blowjob?
What'd you get a blowjob, bro?
Okay, again.
I mean, Dan intimated it.
Dan did the intimate thing, but I'm just going to say it
because not everybody here got it.
Did you understand what he meant when he did this?
That was the context.
That he meant.
See, now Dan's mad.
I'm just saying.
Because he's worried about.
He was throwing out gold.
What's going to make it on TV.
Just don't even talk about it.
Seriously.
I don't think we talked to him.
No.
So we're good.
Okay.
We're good on talking about DZTV.
I'm just saying, let's act like we're on the TV station.
Okay.
Okay.
We should have talked to him.
We got a lot of bullets in the air.
Things are happening, man.
Including, do you want a big announcement?
What's the big announcement?
Today's day one on Substack.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
A lot of a wave of indifference just rolled through the room.
But, yeah, that's what yesterday's Business Wednesday was focused on,
that we actually have a Substack to go behind the scenes on the,
I don't know.
Is this interesting at all?
Sub stack.
Oh,
I think there are a lot of questions out there about it.
Contacted us.
So as you know,
we,
uh,
you know,
went onto the,
uh,
the Patreon bit last year and we're,
uh,
climbing up the charts.
I remember in our early shows, we'd look at the rankings.
At least I would.
Christina Randall.
Was that who was ahead of us?
Yeah.
She did some NSFW stuff that we thought, man, to catch her, we might have to do that.
Yeah.
We were focusing on just the silly shows that had more followers or subscribers than us
on Patreon.
So we'd put them in our crosshairs
and we'd overtake them.
And well, whatever.
So,
substack,
Patreon is known for like
the place for independent
audio.
So podcasters, whatever.
Patreon is known for that.
Substack is well known.
If you don't know what Substack is,
it's the place for independent writers.
So guys like, I'm a big fan of Ethan Strauss.
He was a San Francisco Chronicle writer, I believe,
during the Warriors run.
Then he worked for ESPN.
So he's well known nationally as a Warriors book.
But then he got fired from ESPN.
So he started doing his bit on Substack.
And that does very well for him.
Bob Sturm got let go by the Athletic.
He started a Substack.
The first writer I remember on Substack was Mark Stein.
Okay.
He was a pretty early guy on there, I think.
So yeah, if you're a well-known writer or whatever,
you want to go independent, you don't want to work for the man anymore,
let's just put it out on Substack and it'll be subscription-based.
And, well, they also have now like a podcast arm.
They're trying to increase their podcast game.
So Ethan Strauss does one.
Other people do podcasts on Substack.
Sarah Heppela, you know Sarah?
Of course.
Does a podcast on there.
So they contacted us and said, hey, we'd like you to move over to Substack.
We think you're destroying, and we're trying to grow our podcast game.
So they worked out a plan where we would mandate that everybody who follows us on Patreon has to move to Substack.
And they would cancel everybody's subscription on Patreon and force you to go to Substack.
And I thought, that's a bad bit.
Like, what if you like the Patreon app?
And I said, well, why don't we just do on both platforms? that's a bad bit. Like, what if you like the Patreon app?
And I said,
well,
why don't we just do on both platforms?
And they said,
well,
if we put you on just the Substack platform, we might be able to like guarantee you a certain amount of money.
And that's enticing.
But then we said,
I still think that's a bad bit.
Because a lot of people,
I don't know.
Again, like I'm on Patreon for a couple things, and I wouldn't want to be forced to go,
hey, I got to now put in a new credit card.
It just seems like I want freedom.
That's what I'm all about, if anybody knows me.
So we decided not to do that, but we did say, hey, because they said,
here's some of the reasons you want to go to Substack.
One is, they thought this was speaking our language, we will keep less of a percentage than Patreon will.
So Patreon, I think, I'm probably going to get these numbers wrong, but it's approximately like they'll keep 18%.
probably going to get these numbers wrong,
but it's approximately like they'll keep 18%. So of whatever, you know, you pay to subscribe.
Whereas Substack, I think, keeps like approximately,
let's say with whatever fees everything added in is like 16%.
So it's not significant, but it's something.
And then they also said, well, we'll also help promote you and
we'll help you grow because we have a, you know, we've got a great interactive audience that they
are all chatting and doing this and that. And if, you know, we can get Ethan Strauss to help promote
you, perhaps maybe that'll be good for you and all that kind of stuff. And then they also said, hey, your website sucks.
Look what we can do for you.
Yeah.
And that was a big deal too, like a very big deal.
Yeah, it seems like their user experience is going to be a little more interactive than Patreon.
Our website is up now, dumbzone.com.
And, you know, we've got different tabs for different things.
You can keep track of pics on there. i think we'll start uploading segments there and just it's it looks way
better and we can do way more on substack they set that up for you the substack people it's been
yeah it's been a few months in the making um and this is just what it looks like now i think we
can do way way way more in the future with it. But yeah, I mean, their ability to market us, I think was really cool. And yeah, just actually talking to people
at Substack who care about us and want us to see us do well. I mean, it was really cool. I thought
it was a really, it's a good move for us. Yeah, I guess one of the things too, yeah, it's support.
For sure. Creator, if we're a's uh support um and maybe because they're also
trying to get us to move so they're all being really cool and yeah we may never hear from
them again yeah they'll answer a text right away or hop on the phone with you this afternoon where
it's hard to get a hold of somebody at patreon because really we're a pretty small fish at Patreon. But, you know, we're theoretically growing still,
and Substack kind of wanted that.
And like I said, they're trying to up their podcast game
to make it a place where if you left your big-time radio job,
you might say, well, let me just go right to Substack
instead of go right to Patreon.
And so that's what we're doing.
And we sent a missive out about that yesterday.
So if you want to go check out dumbzone.com,
I think it lists events,
although we didn't put this on there.
This is something I guess we would have put on there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But our future remotes will be there.
Stuff we got going on.
So, yeah, we're going to try to work on our website there at Substack.
I can't tell you that the event that they put up there is ProSlat.
Yeah.
Where is that?
On the event page.
Yeah, so we have a – that's our first kind of big event after this, but it will be one week from
Saturday. We'll be out at the grand opening of ProSlat. Go to proslat.com, and you can see all
the info. In fact, click on their event. So you click on our event, and then you can see all the info. In fact, click on their event.
So you click on our event, and then you can click on their event and see exactly where they are.
They're in Richardson.
The grand opening is Saturday the 28th.
So they want us to steer people to that because they'll have a food truck
and drinks and fun and frivolity.
And Danny Bayless has agreed that he will 100% be there.
But also on their event page, you can see they have a VIP event.
And so what that is is for, I don't know, who's like a,
who in the industry would want a garage place?
Pro Slat is the place that will renovate your garage
and put the thing, the easy wall, the hanging thing.
They will organize your garage for you.
So if that's something like if you're a builder
or some kind of a contractor, that's a word that's pretty vague.
I don't know what it means.
It covers a lot of bases, yeah.
But they have a special VIP event they'd like you to RSVP to.
That'll be throughout the day on the Friday before our grand opening broadcast at Pro Slat.
There's going to be a food truck, as you mentioned,
and Dan thinks it might actually be a truck made out of food.
Right.
Like, are the wheels big giant donuts?
Or are they some other kind of a...
And if you get hungry, you just
what, go up and just grab a piece, grab a
part? Perhaps. This muffler
is delicious. Kind of like the Cheech and Chong
mobile that was a big,
one big joint.
That's all I remember from a Cheech and Chong movie that I saw
when I was a kid.
Not funny. No, not at all.
Nothing about Cheech and Chong
is funny. I think we
watched it as kids and laughed because we
thought we were supposed to
to try to get pot humor
before we were old enough to even know what it was.
That's what it was for me.
I didn't even see a joint until I was in college.
Can you believe that?
Did you ever see pot in high school?
No.
One time, and then like you, I never experienced it or anything until college.
The one time was my dad's wedding.
My dad's wedding night, my new aunt introduced me to pot she's my age so okay she
she gave you pot well we you know she was i was just in the car with him i had that was the first
time i ever got drunk and was driving around and they were passing around a joint. She's like, she was very young.
Like it was like 14 or something, 15, I don't know.
And they're passing around a joint and I'm like, all right, well, I'm here.
Cool.
Did she tell you the cliche that the first time you smoke it,
you're probably not going to get high?
I don't remember anything about it.
Yeah.
Except that my new aunt was my age.
My dad's wife was closer to my age than she was to his age.
That's hot.
Which is pretty sweet, yeah.
So he's taught me.
I'm not following in his footsteps yet, but I'm working on it.
You know, because I have a 20-year-old daughter.
So ladies, see you at ProSlat.
You're going to meet your new girlfriend at ProSlat?
You never know, man.
You never know.
So, yeah, we are at the ballpark today for our big ballpark show.
We are live streaming at a Lowe's Hotel, which is not the Lowe's hotel I went to when I first got here.
There are two Lowe's hotels right by the ballpark.
So if you're telling your friend to –
I just went to the big one, and I got it right.
Oh, this is the bigger?
I looked big from the highway.
I was like, I guess I'm going there.
I didn't know there were two.
Well, he actually dropped a pin exactly where they are.
I sent you guys exactly where to go.
Yeah, I didn't use that. I just Well, he actually dropped a pin exactly where they are. I sent you guys exactly where to go. Yeah, I didn't use that.
I just saw the big Lowe's sign.
Maybe it's a Lowe's motel.
It's kind of over off Collins or something.
That's where we probably should be.
Let me give you a couple of sports quick hits before we get to Blake's story, folks.
Blake has a story.
Listen to that anticipation.
Don't cheer for that.
We're going to build that up.
But we will start with...
Oh, not again.
What do you mean?
The mayor of the city of Dallas
is fired up.
Saw this last night.
I love sports.
Sports mayor. I love sports. Sports man.
I love sports.
I wonder what you saw.
There's a couple of different things.
Okay.
I'll let you know.
Sports man.
Coming out about sports man.
I love sports.
I do.
I admit it.
I love sports.
He went out on that limb.
I do.
I admit it.
I love sports.
Sports man.
I love sports.
I do.
I admit it. I love sports. Sports man! I love sports. I do.
I admit it.
I love sports.
What a confession.
I'll admit it.
So you saw him at a city council meeting, right?
Yeah.
He was wearing a TCU sucks t-shirt.
Yes.
That's inappropriate.
He loves sports, Blake.
What do you want?
He loves Dallas sports. I love sports. I do. I admit it. He loves sports, Blake. What do you want? He loves Dallas sports.
I love sports.
I do.
I admit it.
I love sports.
Kind of goofy hat.
I kind of like that hat.
You don't like that hat?
No, you don't.
I love sports.
It's like an open road, man.
I do. I admit it.
I love sports. You would wear that?
I have a gray one that's close to that.
He looks like the black version of the dude that was handcuffed to Lee Harvey Oswald.
With that hat.
In the tunnel.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's the same hat.
Kind of a...
He's going, whoa!
Yeah.
Is that a hat that the...
I think he was the keyboard player, maybe.
Whoa!
Is that kind of like Curious George's handler?
The man in the yellow hat?
His hat's really tall.
Oh, it is?
Yeah.
I'm not describing it well then.
Anyway.
Second Curious George reference this week.
He certainly is.
He's trying to hit up Mayor Matty Parker.
Okay.
What's he going to put?
Brisket on the line?
Well, we got some insider information here. Okay. What's he going to put? Brisket on the line? Well, we got some insider information here.
Okay.
On how these bets work.
He doesn't do a thing.
He just does the tweet that he wants to make a bet with the mayor of Fort Worth.
Because someone shared this with me from a local restaurant.
They got an email that says,
well, I'll wait and see if they want me to say the restaurant,
because this is insider information.
Hello, named restaurant team.
I hope you're having a wonderful week!
Dallas Mayor Eric L. Johnson and Fort Worth Mayor Maddie Parker
are planning to make a bet for the Iron Skillet football game this weekend
between SMU and TCU.
In the unlikely case that the Ponies lose,
we are looking to partner with a local Dallas restaurant.
Of course, when thinking about SMU,
this restaurant was one of the first foods that came to mind.
We would love to connect with you to discuss the logistics. If that is something of interest to
your team, I can be reached at whatever number. Thank you for the time, all that you do. And then
this is from the mayor's chief of staff. This is what the chief of staff is uh doing like if you're wondering uh are they strategizing are
they working on uh you know the crime in dallas are they trying to uh bridge the gap between the
political parties or no no they're trying to see which restaurants will give them free food and
then he doesn't even do anything he's like like, hey, will you handle this? I did the tweet.
You know?
I wore the shirt.
I wore the shirt.
But they got the wings.
They got the Dallas wings.
Did they get the Chiefs?
At one point, he wanted to get the Kansas City Chiefs.
Didn't they do that?
He did that about a baseball team too, I think.
Or maybe it was a different football.
I don't know.
He was just trying to get different sports to the city of Dallas.
Right.
This has been his goal for like six years.
And they finally landed the Wings.
And maybe like a women's soccer team.
Cool.
Because of the loud outcry that there was no professional women's soccer team in Dallas.
I mean, we've been saying it for years.
But here we go.
My other sports story is a sports media story
that I don't know if the people not in sports media care about at all.
We can take a poll.
But sports media is going nuts.
Does anybody care?
Let's take a quick poll here of the people sitting back there.
We'll raise your hand.
Do you care that Woj has left ESPN unexpectedly?
Anybody?
Okay. Well, we've determined that nobody cares, so let me talk about it now. ESPN, unexpectedly. Anybody?
Okay.
Well, we've determined that nobody cares, so let me talk about it now.
Okay. Okay.
Because I'm just fascinated by the rise of Woj and the change in the way sports are covered
and the way that sports reporters are compensated and for what they're
you know for what is valued um woge used to be kind of a kick-ass columnist do you remember this
no okay so woge woge was uh a yahoo sports guy and I don't know how into that you were either.
But he was an NBA columnist, and what a Woj bomb was, which you've heard now.
I've heard of the Woj bomb.
Right, from Julie.
But the Woj bomb now has come to mean he's dropping some breaking news. It's like so-and-so is signing with Toronto or whatever.
A Woj bomb used to be a blistering column from Woj.
And a lot of them would be about LeBron.
It was like he was, he kind of, what's her name?
Angel Reese has kind of built herself on being the nemesis of Caitlin Clark.
Woj, I feel like, was the one media guy
who kind of built himself,
built his bit on being the guy
who will go after LeBron.
Because everybody wants LeBron's adoration
and attention.
The opposite of Windhorst.
There you go.
Because he built his career on just covering LeBron
and not really being tough on LeBron.
Wrote a book about LeBron.
All this kind of stuff.
LeBron Priest liked me.
But Woj would kind of go hard at LeBron.
Like especially when the decision came down.
He was ripping LeBron.
He was ripping Maverick Carter.
He thought it was all a sham.
He's just trying to pull back the curtain on this is what the real LeBron
and LeBron's team, it's all about him and blah, blah, blah.
Where's he from, Woj?
Is he a Boston guy or is he a Cleveland guy?
I don't think he's Cleveland, but I don't know where he's from.
I don't think that had anything, his LeBron thing had anything to do with that.
Did he, were his guns aimed hardcore at LeBron while he was initially at Cleveland?
Before he left?
Or did that start because of the decision?
Yes, I think, I don't know that it was hardcore, but he was questioning, yes, LeBron's influence on the Cavs.
You know, yes.
Okay. He was, he's always been thought of as kind of anti, LeBron's influence on the Cavs. You know, yes. Okay.
He's always been thought of as kind of anti-LeBron.
Anyway, then one year, and this is once Twitter picked up and everything,
he started – he was tweeting during the NBA draft.
And ESPN had the NBA draft.
And he would tweet out the draft pick about a minute
before every draft pick was picked and so ESPN was pissed he was pretty much breaking the news
right before the pick would happen so before ESPN had it this idiot from Yahoo Sports is tweeting out um you know he's scooping us so they went and hired him they thought all
right you can't scoop us if you're with us we'll be scooping everyone else because this guy's got
all these you know connections and contacts that he can he can do this kind of thing. It's like the FBI hiring hackers with nefarious intent.
A little bit.
But also that shifted and maybe, you know, it would have happened anyway
just because Twitter and the immediacy and all this.
But it shifted what was valued.
Like we're going to pay this guy millions of dollars
because he can find out something that you're going to know anyway.
It's not like a Ron Washington did cocaine
and they were trying to keep this story hidden.
You're going to know who was drafted in one minute.
But he's going to tell you one minute prior.
Why is that valuable?
I don't know to this day.
Why is it that valuable?
As a consumer, I don't know to this day. Why is it that valuable? As a consumer, I don't really care.
But ESPN did care that they were getting scooped, that, hey, this guy.
And then Woj, obviously then the story of Woj, you know, he helped this,
would you call it an industry develop as to you have to be that guy
that's always on your phone, always ready,
always the first one to tweet.
Adam Schefter has become that.
He brought in Shams and kind of created Shams.
Then they had an acrimonious breakup where Shams left.
And, of course, now I guess Shams and Woj still have this rivalry.
And you know McAfee will have Shams on his show but won't have Woj on.
I don't know if you're familiar with that.
But McAfee, who kind of runs ESPN now,
and ESPN will tell all their people,
hey, you've got to have our people on.
This is an old-time thing too.
We couldn't book Michael Irvin for the show when he was on ESPN Radio Miami
because he's on ESPN Radio.
He can't go on a non-ESPN affiliate.
So they used to be very in-the-bubble type thing,
whereas now, obviously, McAfee just makes his own rules.
He's like, I like Shams, don't like Woj.
And then do you remember this past summer, the big Woj versus Shams thing? Oh, yeah. The Lakers? So in fact, before the
finals even, or right when the finals were going to start, I think it was that Shams tweeted out
that the Lakers are hot and heavy on J.J. Redick because
J.J. Redick was about to announce the games. And Woj came out the morning of game one, I believe
it was, with a big story how the Lakers are going to be money whipping Dan Hurley, the UConn coach.
And in fact, the whole J.J. Redick thing is bulsh and it's all about Dan Hurley Dan Hurley
that is is blah blah blah they're gonna they're gonna money whip him they're gonna bring him in
they ended up giving him an offer and I think the offer would have made him like the eighth
highest paid coach in the NBA like you're not getting Dan Hurley going for, you know, another national championship to leave his comfort zone to be the eighth
high.
Like you actually have to make him a huge, huge offer that he can't refuse.
Well, yeah, so he didn't.
That wasn't really a story.
And then they did hire J.J. Redick.
Anyway, it's all, you know, media soap opera that, like I said, I'm quite interested in.
But I can't say the same for the people sitting behind us in this hotel meeting room.
Pertaining to the events of, I guess, yesterday or today.
So he just kind of mysteriously got canned by ESPN?
No, no, no.
So now he actually, is it St. Bonaventure?
He is becoming like the GM of their, I don't know what he's.
General manager of men's basketball team.
Yeah.
St. Bonaventure.
So that's not an SID?
That's a, I don't know what that,
I've never heard of a general manager of a. Unless it's N That's a – I don't know what that – I've never heard of a general manager of a –
Unless it's NIL related maybe.
I don't know.
College basketball team.
But it's his alma mater, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And maybe it's like just the lifestyle of I've got to be available to tweet every second of every day.
And, you know, you've seen profiles like on Adam Schefter just how you know you can't
he can't go to dinner he can't have a half hour off yeah and he's got to carry two or three phones
around with him at all times right I've seen Mark Stein at work on NBA draft day and it's incredible
it's like those guys are more on call than high-level surgeons as far as their availability when they have to react to information
and get information out.
They're buried in their phones more than a 14-year-old high school girl.
That does not sound like a fun life.
No.
You have to truly love doing that.
And
I guess they get that information
before
most. Is it
based on long-term
relationships that they have with
people in
PR and agents for all
the teams and players themselves?
I'm assuming it's just
their relationships with agents
because agents will reach
out to create stories.
Oh, yeah.
Oftentimes smoke screens.
That's become another
aspect of this whole
the way that
those guys are valued now because
you can tell if a team gave them the info or if an agent did.
Right.
Like, you know, if it says the Debo Samuel, right?
Debo was – not Debo, the other wide receiver.
Brandon Ayuk.
Ayuk.
It was – Brandon Ayuk accepted the same deal that was on the table six months ago.
Yeah.
Well, we know that the team gave Schefter that.
Yeah, the often injured so-and-so.
Whereas if it'll say...
Look at C.D. Lamb working out.
He's the best shape he's ever been in.
Right, and that came from the agent or whatever.
So, Frankel and Frankel. What is up? um um Frankl and Frankl
what is up
they are big supporters
of the dumb zone
and we are big supporters of Frankl and Frankl
they are chosen by the people feared by the insurance
companies they're based right here
in Dallas and
they are personal injury
lawyers
you've met them, correct?
Hung out with them.
I've had drinks with them.
They're fun, too.
Yeah, good dudes.
Yeah, really fun dudes.
When you call Frankel & Frankel, you'll talk to a partner,
not just a receptionist or whatever.
You're going to talk to somebody who can make things happen.
Cold called that number, the 214, all threes,
to ask a legal question one time when I was on the air,
and Gene Burkett answered the phone.
Okay.
Yeah, it wasn't a secretary or paralegal.
It was effing Gene, bro.
Yeah.
Their attorneys used to defend the insurance companies,
and they could use that extensive experience to advocate on your behalf,
kind of like Bill Belichick.
He was a great defensive coordinator,
and he used that experience to make his offense great.
Yeah.
It's like when the hackers work for the FBI.
That's right.
They're the Bill Belichick of personal injury lawyers.
They win, and they win a lot.
So 214 or 817, then all three three three three three
three thank you frankl and frankl last night
blake has a story about going no applause or anything i mean
about going late the Blake has a story.
So last night, we talked about this about a month ago,
but last night was our fantasy football punishment
where the guy had to do five minutes of stand-up comedy.
Oh, crap.
That was last night.
So we had Vinny Corrales on the show.
Why didn't we promote that?
There were a few DFs out there.
Okay.
I mean, we talked about it on the show. That's all it needed okay i wasn't listening um i uh we were kind of running
into a snag of where we could do this open mic night because you know there are a lot of places
that are like okay you get three minutes and it's like they're running people in and out of there
but we wanted a little something a little more personal,
so I texted our good buddy Lawrence Rosales.
I said, you know of how maybe a place that does a longer set for open mic night?
And he did the really funny thing where he just said,
just tell Vinny Corrales you want to be on his show.
Like he offered up someone else's help basically I can't
help you this guy can so I texted Vinny hey here's the situation is there something we could do
and we kind of worked it out like I'm gonna bring you 20 people to your show if I can just have five
minutes of it and so he accommodated us and last night we were at the Addison Improv, and the guy that got last place in our fantasy league had to do five minutes of stand-up comedy.
And so I talked to him a couple days ago, and he said he hadn't prepared at all.
Nothing?
Nothing.
Oh, no.
So were you worried he's just going to go up there and do the –
No.
I'll just talk for five minutes.
It doesn't have to be comedy.
No, because he doesn't seem like that kind of person.
Like he seems like he would – if he puts his mind to it, he's going to want to do well.
But he –
But –
If two days ago, he's like, I haven't prepared.
I know, but I think I did this with the nipple piercings where I couldn't think about it ahead of time.
Do you know that –
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he had to get his nipple spears
for losing
yeah because you never think you're going to come in last
and then
anyway
I know
and so when I did mine I said okay you guys
plan it I'll give you the day I'll do it on my
you know stupid radio station
but I couldn't think about it because
it stressed me out like I'd get sick to my stupid radio station, but I couldn't think about it because it stressed me out
like I'd get sick to my stomach thinking about it.
And so I couldn't think about it
until just right then when I was sitting in the chair.
And so I think he was doing the same thing.
He just put it out of his mind.
He didn't want to stress himself out.
And so he said he took the day off of work yesterday
and he just sat down,
watched stand-up comedy all day
and started working on his set.
Okay.
That seems like a bad plan.
Just stealing other people's shit?
Or just, I'm going to do stand-up tonight, and I'll start working on it this morning.
Yeah, but I understood it.
I understood why he did that.
Now, I wouldn't have done that.
I don't think any of us would, but I got it.
So I see him that night.
He's a nervous wreck, of because you know the moment's there
we have an opener go on
he does I don't know about
10 minutes and then it was my
buddy's time to come on
and he gets up there
how long before his set did you
talk to him
about 15 minutes
and he was a mental mess
I mean just real nervous shaky you know
a little bit just kind of twitchy and you have notes no okay so uh he he gets called up there
and he told me he was going to try to do some crowd work and i was like i don't know
i don't know and he said you know he had some stuff planned like if he could find some of us
in the audience and he'll grill us and you know i was just saying like i i feel like you you can only
do like the front row you know it's hard to just say hey look at this guy in the back you know
so he gets up there no phone no notes nothing written on his hand nothing he goes all from
memory and uh he gets up there and uh he talks you know a little fast he's a little nervous
but he you know delivers a setup he delivers a punch line and he talks a little fast. He's a little nervous, but he delivers a setup. He
delivers a punchline and he nails it. I'm thinking, okay, this might go well. And then I look in the
back to see how much time has gone by and 30 seconds has gone by. And then I think to you guys,
okay, maybe 45 minutes is a long time to do standup comedy.
Initially, yeah. When he wanted to make this a payoff for us doing
something yeah pics with friends or something i thought this needs to be a punishment yeah you
have to do 45 minutes of stand-up comedy there's no like professionals it takes them a year to
develop that i was a little off but i wanted it to be a punishment like i thought if dan gets up
there and you know he does it you know five it's like, it's over and done with, I wanted it to be an experience for us
have tons of audio. So I thought, I don't know, 30 minutes, but that would be insane.
Now having understand like what goes into it. And so, you know, he's got to kill a little bit
of time, but overall I think he did really well. And I think this is like a really,
really good punishment. Did he, did you roll on any of it? I've got the whole thing., I think he did really well. And I think this is like a really, really good punishment.
Did you roll on any of it?
I got the whole thing.
And I think we might end the episode with it.
Okay.
Because I'm sure there are a ton of people that don't want to hear it and don't care.
But if you want to hear what he had, yeah, we'll play it at the end of the episode.
But it was awesome.
I mean, our whole league was there.
Can you paraphrase his hit joke of the night?
Or do you just have to wait?
Yeah.
He played on the Generations about how we're in Generation Alpha now.
And it's all about screen time because he's got a kid.
Oh, he has an Asian wife that he played on stereotypes with.
Okay.
He did well.
And he wrote all this shit in like one day one day impressive so it's been talked about here before but dan had a foray into stand-up
comedy in his younger years what was your bit were you crowd work guy or were you oh no like
full-on jokes prepared and stuck to the script so prepared prepared, yeah. You didn't freelance at all and talk to people in the audience
or anything like that?
No.
I imagine it was very awkwardly paced.
Me?
Yeah.
Slow, like a lot of silence.
I found it.
I'm going to see if I can enhance the audio
and play it.
You did find it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
It was on a cassette tape.
Yeah, I found it.
And you had to be clean, right?
No, but I wanted to.
Oh, you wanted to.
Yeah.
Okay, I couldn't remember if your teacher
made you be clean or not.
Yeah, no.
That was just, I just thought
that means you actually can do it
if you're clean.
Yeah.
I listened to some of it the other day.
It's not good.
Really?
Yeah, I think.
Did you get some laughs?
I guess.
I don't know.
But, yeah, it's a difficult world, man.
I don't like being up there.
Does it make you uncomfortable to listen to it?
Is it because it puts you in that place,
or it's just so bad you can't stand it?
No, the quality of just the audio is very difficult to hear so it's that's
what's the worst thing but no send it to me i'll clean it up all right i'll just play it for us on
the show yeah we'll play it on the show sometime but not today yeah he had a couple things where
you know he he rolled well with the punches and you know honestly i don't i thought he did great
but i do have a new appreciation
because you know we've talked about this before where you know talking to akash or something you
know there's a way to set something up and there's always a way to to grab him at the end i mean i
think you were talking what steps of three or something like that you need to have three yeah
like the rule of three or something yeah you could read uh what's book what is it
comedy writing by mel hellitzer yeah yeah the great mel hellitzer we can donate to the mel
hellitzer fund boy being a professor i think is a great scam because you have 30 kids in the class
and they all have to buy your book yeah one of the few classes I dropped at North Texas
was a, I think it was a social media class.
And a part of his syllabus,
one of the requirements was we had to follow him
on Twitter.
I was like,
that's, if you're making
people follow you on Twitter,
I don't want to be a part of your class.
Is that the Mel Helter book?
Comedy Writing Secrets?
Yeah.
$13.
You can have all the secrets for only $13.
Wow.
All of them.
Not some.
But yeah, I kind of came away with a new respect.
I'm sorry I offered up an hour and a half on Netflix for you guys.
But pretty good bit last night.
I kind of feel like you want to do it.
I think you do, too.
Like, because you bring it up as a bet payoff a lot.
Well.
And it's like, you want to do it, but you don't want to say,
hey, guys, I think I'm funny.
No.
So I'm going to go to an open mic night.
But if I lost a bet, I kind of have to do it.
And it's not just because, you know,
but it's forcing your hand.
So, like, I kind of
think you have a desire to
get up there at some point, and I think you should.
I think I just...
And I'll be there. I was in the,
you know, picks with friends mindset of,
you know, we got to come up with a payoff, and there needs
to be an audio element to it,
something good for the show.
I think that's perfect.
We all really respect stand-up comedians for what they have to do and the public speaking and the audience factor of it.
It was always drawn to it.
What do they call that when they're looking for...
Jake always knows this.
Danny won't because he's a moron.
The whole... No, looking for something that people are not valuing
or is not being – back when Scott Hattaberg in Moneyball, right?
Remember that?
Do you see the movie Moneyball?
Mm-hmm.
You know, they weren't valuing on-base percentage.
This guy has a great on-base percentage,
but nobody thinks anything about Scott Hattaberg,
so you can get him for a lesser value.
Or something that used to be...
Anyway, there used to be comedy duos.
What if we did that?
I don't know.
George Burns and his wife, I think, were a comedy duo.
Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin, comedy duo.
Penn and Teller. Would you call that a comedy duo. Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. Yeah. Comedy duo.
Penn and Teller.
Would you call that a comedy duo?
I mean... I mean, they use comedy in the...
Yeah.
With props and magic and stuff.
I enjoyed that show.
I saw them in Vegas a couple years ago.
Want to do a comedy duo thing?
What can we do?
See, I have just that idea.
Let's do a comedy duo thing,
but then I don't know what we do after it.
Well, Steve Martin and Martin Short, they tour all the time doing that.
And it's great, right?
Yeah.
I think that would be harder to do than just getting up there by yourself.
Because then you're really relying on the timing.
It's a market inefficiency, I think it is.
But yeah, you could work off of each other.
Do you want to be just another stand-up comedian? It's a market inefficiency, I think it is. But yeah, I mean, you could work off of each other. We would, you know, you always,
do you want to be just another stand-up comedian?
Or do you want, what are you known?
You're like, if it was the, hey, there's a comedy duo.
You're like, whoa, what's that?
Okay, I'll go see it.
Now, the problem is then we would suck.
Yeah.
I mean, you've got the ones that are music-based,
like Tenacious D, Flight of the Conchords.
Those are duos, but they rely heavily on tunes
to get their humor across.
But just two guys standing up there.
One of the chicks, Garfunkel Notes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I met one of them.
Yeah?
She's good friends with Rhett Miller.
Shock. Yeah, so's good friends with Rhett Miller. Shocking.
Yeah, so that was my night.
And then, of course, Vinny destroyed.
Okay, good.
He's a good dude.
Yeah.
Fun night.
Where was this again?
The Addison Improv.
Oh, yes.
On a Wednesday night.
Blake's story, everybody.
That was great.
He had a story.
Not as bad as you thought it was going to be, Dan.
I never thought it would be bad at all.
He crushed.
So we're out here at the ballpark today.
And, well, I mean, right now we are live streaming,
and we're in a fourth-floor conference room at the Big Lowe's.
That's what I'll call it now.
A lot of people sitting on the ground.
It's the Lowe's across the street from the ballpark,
not the one next to the ballpark.
Lowe's Arlington Hotel.
I think you went to Lowe's Live or something.
Yeah.
And so it's a dumb zone day at the ballpark.
How did this happen?
Somebody at the Rangers contacted you and said,
hey, I'm a listener.
We could do a themed thing. Yeah. Maybe you could sell 69 tickets. Yeah. His first allotment was 69 tickets.
And I thought, how are we going to sell 69 tickets? Right. Then I think we ended up selling
right at 300. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Raymond made a really cool t-shirt for today as well as a
trucker hat. And this turned into a big thing.
Yeah, and I believe one of the big reasons he did that was the guys at Qualis Roofing.
Yeah, that's right.
Helped pay for those.
And maybe you'll even get a little Qualis Roofing logo on your hat or your T-shirt if you're lucky.
And Qualis Roofing um they are a huge sponsor and i told
you the other day we got an email dear gash master 2000 i want to let you know your live ads do work
blake mentioned he contacted qualis about getting a carport and i have a friend who's been wanting
one anyway they were out there the next day they got her quote, and just for having them out to quote that,
they gave her a free T-shirt, a Dumb Zone T-shirt,
and this email was from Beth, not Drop Beth.
But, so yeah, that's the bit.
If you get a call them at Qualys Roofing, 817-500-9008,
get a free roof inspection.
So even if you're like,
ah, I think my roof's fine,
but I want a t-shirt.
So call Qualys Roofing.
They will get you that.
They will also,
geez, through the end of September,
this can't be right,
they're going to pay for a 690 sit-in.
Yeah.
So they'll send you out to us if you want that.
Yeah, if you get a roof with Qualys through September, you get a studio visit.
Okay, so if you get a roof.
Okay, if you end up getting the roof, you get the studio visit.
Which, to be honest, you probably need.
Just have them out just to check out
your roof you get a free t-shirt and uh yeah that's a good bit so just for getting your roof
inspected you get a t-shirt uh so qualis roofing it is qualis q-u-a-l-S-G-C.com. What's GC stand for?
General Contractor, I think.
Sweet.
Maybe.
Man.
I may get a new roof to get the 690 sit-in.
Just because when Jake comes back, there's no freaking way you guys are having me back.
No.
We got an extra headset.
Just take my place.
No.
We might do that again.
You work way too much.
Way too. And by the way, I think he works so much. Take Rob my place. No. We might do that again. You work way too much. Way too.
And by the way, I think he works so much.
Take Rob's place.
He's just sitting there.
No one set up these cameras.
Lights.
He's here at 730.
Second level commitment right here.
Rob's here five hours ahead of us.
Blake's so busy, I think it's because he wants to avoid complicated parts of his life.
It could be.
I can't help with the kid to avoid complicated parts of his life. It could be.
Yeah.
I totally understand that.
I can't help with the kid right now.
I'm so busy.
I've got to wrap these cables.
Did I tell you the bad news?
My wife canceled her trip, and she's not leaving.
Damn it.
Remember I told you?
I thought it was going to be Thursday.
She was supposed to leave today, right?
Yeah.
He already had the spank fort.
Oh, my God.
Already constructed.
So many things planned.
So many activities. He had a thousand bottles of lube on the wall like Diddy.
That's why you were late. You couldn't get
out of bed. His legs were tired
from all the wanking.
Now you're going to ask, what do you
want to eat?
Yeah, I got to go through that whole
thing and what are we eating?
I don't know. What do you want? Okay, well, I'll have Chinese.
We had that two nights ago.
I know.
I thought you just said, what do I want?
You told me I could just pick, and I did pick, and then you said no.
So I will eat whatever you want.
Well, I don't care.
That's how our –
Every night, right?
Every conversation goes.
We got Emily Jones coming up here soon, huh?
Do we really?
Is she here now?
Well, I mean, I said soon.
It's a forward tease, Dan.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, let's take another, let's take a little break on the live stream.
Want to do that?
Yeah.
Let's go drain the main vein.
Yeah, it's a little bit of a walk.
And such.
Yeah.
And, yeah, there you go. The Dung. It's a little bit of a walk. And such. Yeah.
There you go.
The Dumb Zone.
The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone.
You're listening to The Dumb Zone.
I hope nobody did anything to our stream.
At one point, the four of us were outside in the hallway talking for a few minutes.
And I said, should we all?
Like, what if none of, should one of us be here?
Like, it's a live stream.
Who knows what they could have done?
Who knows what Wire Will would have done if he got his hands on this thing?
No puppet!
Thank you.
That's what I wanted to get to.
Hey, Blake has a kick-ass shirt for?
Lone Star Beer.
The National Beer of Texas.
That's what they say.
We are proud.
Are they proud to sponsor us?
Are we proud to be with them?
I think we're proud to have them, and they are reluctantly sending us a little bit of change.
Yes, we are in collaboration.
It's a collab with Lone Star Beer.
Danny, what's your history with Lone Star Beer?
Have you ever heard of it?
Oh, yes.
Very much so.
You were at it?
A lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's great on tap.
And for those of you that are watching your girlish figures, they have a light beer, too.
Oh, yeah?
It's just as good.
What's it called?
Lone Star Light.
Lone Star Light.
Amazing.
The marketing team at Lone Star Beer.
Who are the ad wizards that came up with that?
It's authentically Texan because they've been brewing for 140 years in Texas.
Same guy.
Like there's this one guy.
He invented it and he's been brewing it.
So he's really, really old.
So Lone Star Beer is our
partner. We are happy that they
are involved with us. I don't know if they're so
happy that we are involved with them.
But thanks,
Lone Star. We're going to have some Lone Star Beer at the
watching party this weekend.
I'm going to have some today, too. Are you really?
Oh, yeah. Okay. It's great with
barbecue, Blake. It's great with
anything. So thank you, Lone Star Beer.
Let's all hear it for Lone Star Beer, everybody.
What's up?
We're out across the street from the ballpark today.
We are actually live streaming.
Hello.
Hello, stream.
Emily Jones is on her way over here.
We'll talk a little.
I don't know if we'll talk too much Rangers with her.
I don't know what we'll do.
But I do know we're going to do this right now.
Oh, yeah.
Wait a minute, Uncle Hotmail.
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, Uncle Hotmail.
Let's see.
Uncle Hotmail, look at me.
Is there any mail in your box for me?
That's Prophets and Outlaws. Do do you hate them being a local band guy hate is a really strong word are they your rival no are they your shams
no let's hear from uncle cave crammer or whatever you're going to be called today.
They keep getting better and better.
You remember I told you somebody had texted me that we were on Big Fox,
like we had a promo on there?
Jonathan tells me it was on Fox 4 before the afternoon kickoff, the noon kickoff.
So that's right. DZ TV being promoted on Fox 4.
New website.
Where's this thing going to stop?
It's unbelievable.
Probably right here.
Dear Leader, Business Wednesday is my birthday,
so hopefully this makes the Thursdays sewed.
I'm a former Norm intern and overnight board op.
Let's see. Realize there's no money in radio, this and that.
I miss wild things that I used to hear on the O'Neill Outdoors radio show, which I would listen to overnight.
Here's my favorite piece of audio I pulled.
I'd like to hear your reaction.
My leaders are Bi-Curious George
and the Lincoln-Douglas debates.
More Brunigs from day one,
DF number 21.
Steven, oh.
Do you think,
are people now saying, I'm day one on substack because you can go to substack
and subscribe if you want you don't have to i think some people are saying that yeah i saw uh
rob i saw you put a graphic up that says substack.com slash at dumb zone.
And I didn't realize that
then I typed that in.
You can actually get to it through there
or you just go dumbzone.com.
Then you're on,
that's our substack hub.
So dumbzone.com.
I'm trying to make it easier for you, Rob.
That guy really wouldn't sell you
the dumbzone.com?
No.
Do you remember?
It was like $70,000 or something. And it's still just like a picture of armadillos or something.
Yeah.
Like he's not doing anything with it.
No.
I think even Dumb Zone was pretty pricey.
Really?
Did you have to buy it from Gordon?
No.
Oh, anyway, here's...
I think he still owns my name.
Here's the piece of audio from many, many years ago
on the O'Neill Outdoors radio show from Stephen.
Private Bruce's selfless devotion to duty
saved the lives of three of his fellow Marines
and upheld the highest traditions of the Marine Corps
and the U.S.
Naval Service.
He gallantly gave his life
for his country.
Daniel Bruce,
Vietnam,
1969.
And if he were
still alive, he would
be listening to this show.
Darn right.
But he's not.
42 after the hour.
Let's talk to Richard.
But he's not.
So then he went to calls?
Yeah.
He's honoring an American hero.
So he's doing a feature on a fallen hero from 50 years ago.
And then Castellanos.
Oh, did you hear about Thom?
No.
Thom Brenneman's doing the TCU game this weekend, like on I don't know what station.
Interesting.
Yeah.
He made it back.
Whatever station the TCU game is on this weekend.
He's putting that headset on again.
That's right.
Wow.
Oh, wait.
It's SMU, isn't it?
Yeah, he's here.
Okay.
Want to have him on?
Hell yeah.
There's no way you can get that done.
No one believes in you.
He pops in, sits down, puts the thing on.
And he goes, yep, never thought you'd do that again, did you?
Just to
start it off. Dustin says,
Patreon versus Substack, which one gets
more of the money in your pockets?
I think I said this.
Slightly better for the
if you go over
to Substack. Ultimately, it's up to you.
Yeah, do whatever you want. It really doesn't matter.
They say it's a better experience.
Yeah. User experience. But I don't know. They say it's a better experience. Yeah. User experience.
But I don't know.
They're trying to get us to chat and stuff.
I actually don't know because I put all my feeds into, what's that called?
Overcast.
So I don't know the Substack app or the...
I guess I use the Patreon app a little bit, but I don't know.
Check it out.
Or don't. I don't care. I mean, I do kind of care, but I don't know. Check it out. Or don't.
I don't care.
I mean, I do kind of care, but we just want you to live your life.
Do one of them.
As long as you...
Yes.
Thank you.
We do care about that.
Dear Uncle Squirt Swallower...
Why don't I remember What did I have for you Rob
In the day of air
Did you have a video of that
No I can't remember what I
Video of what
His nickname
Yeah
No I told Rob
Hey I got something in
For this viewer mail segment
Now I can't even remember what it is.
It was a picture.
I'd like to follow up on Donna Kelsey as a Roseanne.
While I don't disagree, I'd be remiss if I didn't offer up Bruce Valanche.
Do you know who Bruce is?
Who's that?
Bruce Valanche.
Search that for me, will you?
Ginger-haired comic from ages ago.
Well, supposedly Bruce Valanche is a potential Roseanne.
So we can look that up.
The Hardline had an intern from Denton named Colin,
and he had red hair,
and Mike Reiner called him the fake Bruce Valanche back in the day,
if that's helpful at all to this story.
Well, give me a Bruce Valanche search and see if we can see what he looks like.
Yeah, it's pretty Roseanne-y.
Does he look like a Roseanne?
So this is proving that, oh, my God, that's a guy?
Yeah.
So.
Just goes to bolster my argument that every man over 50 looks like a lesbian.
So a guy can be a Roseanne.
Yeah, we got a couple guys on the list.
Oh, maybe you already put up the picture.
It was the Fox 4 promo on Saturday.
What?
Okay, sorry.
And...
Oh, before I get to some other birthdays,
let's say hello.
She is the Rangers' ambassador of fun.
Oh, is that what I am?
Yeah.
Hey, everybody.
Emily Jones.
Hey.
Wait, you guys have quite the crowd.
This is impressive. Hi. Hey. Wait, you guys have quite the crowd. This is impressive.
Hi. Hello.
What are you doing?
You ready for partying? So
ready to party. Yeah? Yeah. Where's the
booze? Just kidding.
Every day with this one. I know,
man. Yesterday we shot the
Mom Game and Danny produced us and
we had two bottles of wine that we have because we're in the Coppola studios at the mom game, which we're actually in your studios.
But we didn't have a wine opener.
What's it called?
Do you have a sponsor for your studio?
Yeah.
Coppola?
Coppola.
Coppola Wines.
Wow.
The Coppola studio.
How come we can't get a sponsor for our studio?
Ooh, sick burn.
All right.
You can put two cans of Lone Star on your desk.
They give us a neon sign.
That's true.
They have these props, but they're real
bottles of wine, but they were the only
two bottles and Emily was very
conflicted.
She wanted wine, but she also didn't want to burn
through her prop.
And I didn't think it was a good look on a Tuesday at 11 a.m.
But it was a good look last week on a Wednesday.
Hasn't stopped you at 11 a.m.
But I don't think I had to work last week.
That's true.
This week I had to work.
And Julie has always said, Emily is great.
But.
But.
Well, she says she brings the name value to the show, The Mom Game.
Okay. Go search that if, the mom game. Okay.
Go search that if you would like to.
Oh.
I have a feeling it's somewhere related to.
Well, she says, I mean, your TV presence, that brings name value.
It's good for the show.
Okay.
But that she has to carry you all the time because you get sloshed every show.
Oh, just hammered.
Yeah.
I mean, seriously, watch the show.
Yeah.
If you want to see Emily Jones get drunk, don't watch a Rangers game.
Yeah.
Definitely don't.
Watch.
Definitely watch the mom game.
Watch the mom game.
Yeah.
And if you ever want to get plowed while we're doing the show, don't let the lack of a bottle
opener come between Rob and myself.
We could figure something out.
We could manufacture something.
Well, that's good to know.
100%.
Yeah.
Okay.
Good.
It's good to know.
100%. Rob can open anything. 100%. He's using it against. 100%. Yeah, okay, good. It's good to know. 100%.
Rob can open anything.
100%.
He's using it against me.
It's my crutch phrase.
It's mine, too.
100%.
You got that from...
I don't even know where I got it.
You got it from the modern athlete.
Probably.
I remember Tyler Sagan used to say that to us a lot, and then all of a sudden we're saying it.
I feel like 110% came from the modern athlete.
Not just 100, they gave 110%.
Yeah. 110 definitely came from the modern athlete because they give not just 100 they give 110 yeah that's 110
definitely came from the modern athlete 100 is it's from watching freaking british crime shows
they use that so all the time i definitely don't watch british crime shows but i know where i got
i can pretty i think i can pinpoint where i got it we have a friend named bart bart hall uh super
good dude and he says 100 all the time and I think it's rubbed off on me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So what's going on?
British crime shows also say the C word, and I don't hear you throwing that around.
I think you haven't been around me long enough.
Oh, that's...
We don't have any wine.
That's why.
Excellent point.
What's going on?
I'm doing today's birthdays.
Hello, Colonel Cream Pie.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Welcome. Step right into it Pie. Oh, wow. Yeah. Welcome.
Step right into it.
Welcome to the show.
I'd like to wish my wife Lisa a happy birthday.
Dan is her leader.
I tried to convince her to let me name my youngest, Saroy, but I failed.
Oh.
Wait, wait.
If you ever need an expert in making synthetic marijuana and then getting busted and spending
four years in federal prison trying to protect my backside in the shower i'm your guy oh everybody needs one of those don't
they keep reading he says in case danny was wondering it's 214 days until wrestlemania
uh this is from brody jones there's three freak listeners that are laughing at this
um yeah there's a lot more people than that.
That's a pretty funny email.
Brody's the best.
He is an expert on wrestling.
He did a pretty fair stint in prison for manufacturing synthetic marijuana.
Got busted.
Took the fall for all of it.
And now he's doing great.
Good for him.
Married.
He's got a newish kid.
This little boy is probably three now.
Great dude.
Funny as hell.
I'm sure Netflix could make him.
He's married to a three-year-old?
Netflix could probably make a TV series out of this.
Like the poor man's version of Breaking Bad.
Yeah.
With this guy.
Synthetic marijuana.
Just got a little kid.
Very poor.
Very poor?
Yeah, Brody's very poor.
He's so poor he has to make his own marijuana.
He can't just go buy it.
Just go get real weed.
Dear Dan.
Just Dan?
Sorry to correspond on the competitive Yahoo platform,
but I think this translates to Hotmail for you.
Please send a birthday greeting
to Daniel Fleming. His leaders are Jake and to Hotmail for you. Please send a birthday greeting to Daniel Fleming.
His leaders are Jake and Uncle Hotmail.
Okay, that's it from Tom Fleming.
Which I don't think, though, is TC because TC's name is Thomas and his brother is Daniel.
That's weird, bro.
I bet it is.
That seems weird.
I bet it's totally him.
Dear Gash Guzzler, nice new website.
It is my Dirk slash Mike Madonna birthday.
My leaders are Blake on hard drugs and Charles Haley getting mad at Jake.
More Jake from day three, number 1726, Hayden McMillan.
number 1726 Hayden McMillan.
Dear Monsieur Minge,
California-based DF, wishing
my friend Corey happy birthday.
His leaders are Cameron Brink, Brunig's
War on Holders, Lincoln Douglas, and
Cameron Brink. Solemnly
More Jake from Scott.
Uncle, I won't say that.
Sea Crusher.
That's where he draws the line.
Right. It's good to he draws the line. Right.
It's good to know there is one.
It is my wife, Ashley Long's 38th birthday.
Blake and Phillip Kingston are her leaders.
We hope Jake has a smooth transition.
Number day one, number 584.
And finally.
Do tell.
Dear Uncle Tongue Puncher, I'd like to give a birthday shout out to
DF Kyle he's 32
his leaders are Dan's oral skills
both broadcast and other
Jake's prayers
and
anyway that's from Will
that's from Will
that's awesome
hey thanks Emily Jones from the rangers and the mom game
you bet um would you mind if we did a quick uh live read no got some wait no i wouldn't mind oh
she wouldn't mind so that's good um early bird cbd
have you had any experience with early bird cbd dude have i had any experience i
have experience with early bird cbd every night so much that she do to me every night it's why
changed my life how come because i can't it doesn't stop up there i can't get it to turn off
and so when i am a hamster on the wheel in your head and so it's it's been a couple years
that i've been using them and it's on the reg it's two two early birds julie can only take one at a
time oh you'll go two i'll go two all right i go to about 30 minutes before i want to legit pass
out and go to sleep and get in bed and watch a show and fall asleep. It's amazing. Okay. It makes me relax. It makes me chill.
It makes me sleep,
which I have not been able to do.
And the deal is,
it's not,
like if you've ever tried CBD before.
And I had before this.
I had not tried CBD before this.
Okay.
But this also has THC in it.
Yes.
A hint.
The legal amount.
Yep.
Yeah.
So that's the difference. It gives you a little zzz, but it. Yes, a hint. The legal amount. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the difference.
It gives you a little zzz, but it's like a zzz.
Like you wouldn't pass a drug test if indeed.
There's a chance you would.
There's a chance you'd fail.
So you can't risk it if you're taking a drug test.
But yes, it is totally 100% legal.
And it is a game effing changer for me.
Do you have like 64 of them?
Do you want to listen to Dark Side of the Moon?
Haven't tried it, but don't rule anything out.
Okay.
Don't rule anything out.
Earlybirdcbd.com.
Yep, they're amazing.
Y'all got a coupon code?
Dumbzone.
Okay.
All one word though.
Okay, I like it.
Consecutive letters.
Highly recommend.
And this is true synergy because I am a legit believer in the early bird CBD.
Are you holding?
I'm not.
But you have it at home.
It's sitting there on the-
Because I don't take it until I legit want to go to bed.
Some people can take it just to chill and have a good time and hang out.
For me, and I've never tried that quite honestly, the only time I take it is like 30 minutes before I'm ready.
All my stuff is done.
Can we cuss on this?
Okay.
All my stuff.
Oh, that's right.
All my stuff is done.
You can.
And I know I can relax.
So that's when I take them.
So I don't ever carry them with me.
But I do travel with them.
Where do you get them?
From like a guy on the corner of Croutus and Elm?
Yes.
You get them at earlybirdcbd.com.
And if you use that code DUMZONE, 20% off.
And there's some local establishments that carry them as well.
I know there's a handful of places.
There's Sunflower Shops, Roy Pope.
There's a handful of places across the Metroplex, probably a dozen or so.
But they don't have our discount code.
They don't.
That's right.
So go to the website.
Thank you. Right. Emily's adding too much information right. So go to the website. Thank you.
Right.
Emily's adding too much information now.
Way to bring it back.
I'll shut up now.
Yeah.
Earlybirdcvd.com.
Dumb Zone is the code.
So what is your pregame routine?
We were talking to Jared Sandler.
He's got to be in the clubhouse and talk to Boach.
Yeah.
That's what I just got done doing.
Oh, you did?
Uh-huh.
So he has to talk to you and Jared?
He does.
He does.
He talks to us all at one time.
Is he over it or does he like, do you get the impression that he enjoys hanging with
you guys or is he looking at his watch?
He doesn't mind it.
He handles it very well.
He knows the drill.
He's been doing it for so long.
There are definitely some days.
Pre-game is usually way easier because they
haven't played the game yet post-game sometimes can get a little short just because especially
this season it's just been a you know energy suck on everybody as far as the way the team's played
have you ever walked in there and you kind of not really into it and you can tell he's not just go
you know boach we don't have to do this today and just cool well it there could be sometimes like that writers will absolutely not let allow
that to happen right never um there are certain times when i have to get him on camera for the
pre-game show and then like days like today we didn't need him on camera so it was just us
shooting the breeze um but it's not he's he fantastic to deal with, and he's such a great dude.
When you're in there talking with him,
you're looking for something you can use later on.
Yeah, so my whole strategy is I go in the clubhouse.
Over the years, I mean, I've been covering this team now for 20 years.
The clubhouse is open, but the number of players in the clubhouse
when you walk in there for your 30-minute period or 45-minute period has decreased so incredibly significantly.
That's what Jared was saying earlier.
And especially now in our clubhouse, it's so big that literally you can get lost in there.
Guys can go take a nap.
They can go to the food room.
They can – I mean, there's a million – the weight room.
There's a million different places they could be. And a lot of them don't.
And to be honest, it's so awkward for me.
I would prefer, there was a time when you got so much good information in there.
You got, you developed those relationships.
And now that that's not exactly happening, that for me happens.
I'll go sit in the dugout during batting practice.
And if a guy's taking a break or whatever, you have those conversations.
There's not a ton of value anymore in the pregame clubhouse,
nor is there in the postgame clubhouse,
except for those maybe one or two players that you want to talk to.
They usually will bring one of them to the podium.
And then it's just like, I don't know.
It's kind of become a kind of an exercise in futility.
It's kind of something you have to do, go in there just in case something happens.
I mean,
everyone's kind of on Corey Seager watch to see if he's going to talk after
the surgery before the end of the season.
And so everyone's kind of going in there just to check that box and see if
he's available,
but it's just changed over the last 20 years.
And it's,
you know,
it's different.
Um,
you know,
it's,
do you see that element going away at some point?
I would love nothing more.
I don't think I'll be around to see it.
What element?
The element of just the free reign in the clubhouse from writers and TV and radio.
Yeah, I mean, there's a confined space we could be in, but it's so awkward.
I mean, it is.
I'm telling you.
Like, it is awkward.
There was a time when there was dudes in there when it was Michael and Ian and Mitch and Colby and Nap and, you know, all the even Ruggie and Joey.
And like we would sit and they hang out in there and you have conversations and it's valuable.
This valuable time for sure. But now it's just there's it's it's kind of just basically because it's in the whatever collective bargaining agreement and the writers are still so powerful within the game of baseball that that's not it's not going to go away anytime soon because it
worked in 1940 100 that they're still doing there i am again 100 um yeah so but you don't get to
know the players as well though definitely not like you used to i know you've developed friendships
with dudes for sure sure yep um and those
are a lot harder to cultivate now I mean there are certain guys like on this team and I feel like I'm
probably now closer to a lot of like Maddie Seeger than I am to Corey and it's just because I don't
really see Corey all that often um and it's not because he's an ass or he's not nicer that the
man is a baseball robot and he comes to the park with a specific agenda in mind and that's not because he's an ass or he's not nicer that the man is a baseball robot and he
comes to the park with a specific agenda in mind and that's what he is going to do
and he's not going to let anything or anyone deter that um it's just different like the whole
the whole feel of you know guys it's like um you know i think it's all across sports like
guys aren't you know slamming beers on the planes anymore they're not you know going I think it's all across sports. Like guys aren't, you know, slamming beers on the planes anymore. They're not, you know, going to clubs when they land, when we go to a city there,
it's just, everybody's worried about their sleep schedule and what they're putting into their body
and all recovery and all that kind of stuff. And it's just a different things have just changed.
It's just different. I mean, than it used to be. Yeah. I wasn't in this era, but I remember
Mike Reiner would always tell us like after a game he'd go cover, you know, had to get sound
and Charlie Huff would be in there on the exercise bike with a beer and a cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. I
mean, it's just, it's, there are still some old school things that are, that go on, but it's,
it's the game in my 20 years of covering it has just gotten
drastically different.
Where would Wash smoke?
He was burning a heater in the opposing dugout very recently.
Still?
Uh-huh.
But where could you see?
You would see Wash.
He would smoke in his office.
He'd smoke in his office, and it was okay.
I mean, it's part of the deal.
If you get Wash, you're getting the heaters.
That's just the way it is.
I think it's a discussion that's had when he negotiates his contracts.
It's like this is part of what's going to happen.
I've got to have my cigarettes.
I'm old enough, too, to remember that we had a player that would burn heaters off the dugout.
Well, this was more recent.
Okay.
But Tettleton used to.
Yeah.
You don't want to tell on Scott Feldman?
It definitely wasn't Scooter.
Oh.
It was not Scooter Feldman.
But yeah, Tettleton notoriously smoked in the, what do they call it, the little tunnels
back in the day.
Yeah.
Just right off the dugout.
That's where Wash would go.
He'd be right off the dugout.
Because he was a DH, so he didn't have to even really be in there.
He'd just crush, you know, suck on lung darts for half the time.
Are they vaping now?
Oh, yeah.
I don't think so.
I have not seen anyone vaping.
Zin?
There's some Zin.
There's some Zin.
What do you call it?
Cans laying around.
I'm thinking of switching to Zin.
Are you?
Are those pouches?
Last night when my mouth was getting sore with my
nightly
couple skull pouches I'll throw in there.
So Zinn's just a pouch, right?
It's just nicotine. It's not tobacco.
So I searched.
I'm taking a walk with my dog so I searched
can you get mouth cancer
from Zinn?
And the initial
search indicated no.
Oh, there you have it.
So.
Does it have vitamins
in it too?
Oh, yeah.
Vitamins.
Vitamins in.
So when you have a seven,
what is it most games?
735?
Seven.
705.
705.
When do you get here?
Clubhouse opens at three
on a normal 705 game.
What a beating.
So that's another thing that's changed.
So when WASH was here, it was 3.45 at the earliest, sometimes even 4.
And so now you're adding, it's a good hour earlier.
And that's because of the advanced analytics and the meetings
and that there's a lot more meetings now.
There's a lot more reports to run and dissect. um so everyone's schedule gets pushed back um a little bit and so that's that's
another way that the game has changed so three o'clock clubhouse opens i'm in there for usually
honestly i'll walk in there if there's no one in there or if there's like one or two guys rather
than stand around and look at them i just go to to the dugout. And then, unless I need someone or need something in particular,
then Boach will come out about 345 or 4.
Then I go upstairs, get my notes together for the broadcast,
do any pregame hits, then game starts, chime in when I can and want to,
and post-game interviews afterward.
There's lots of standing around.
Go ahead.
Jared Sandler texted me that he needs your home run pick.
Oh, who's left?
I'm last on the board.
What is this bit?
So Jared, God bless him.
I've never met a man more committed to more.
Gambling bits?
Jesus.
This isn't even gambling.
This is just for like, just for bragging rights.
I don't know.
I don't know who's been taken.
I'll find out. Okay. Tell him i don't know i don't know who's been taken tell i'll find out okay
tell him i don't care that's well yesterday yesterday i just responded the catcher because
and i figured i was last on the list and i didn't know who was starting whether it was kelly or
jonah and i was like yeah just the catch, whoever that is. Kelly and Zeke?
Kelly.
Give me the catcher.
Okay.
She wants the catcher.
She wants the catcher.
I don't think people realize what a home game means for you.
It's a long day.
Oh, it is.
Because you're up with the kids in the morning.
Oh, yeah.
5.30 this morning.
Yep. And then you've got to, you know, whatever,
do get ready to be at the ballpark
because you can't just show up looking like Blake.
Which is the worst part about my job.
I don't think I'm dressed that bad.
No, no, no.
But if Emily went on.
So dressing nice, getting all TV ready.
That's the worst part.
I can't stand it.
Because now you have to be that all day.
All day.
I've got, there's nothing more in my life that I want more right now than to take off
my mascara.
There is nothing more I would do.
And you have to maintain that.
You have to start that way and keep it going until the post-game keep it going it's the worst I don't know why I picked this profession
well I know why because my everything's changed in the last 25 years but
getting dressed fixing my hair and putting on makeup literally beats me into submission I
cannot stand it like I it makes me crazy but it's my makes me crazy. But I used to love it.
I used to love all that stuff.
Like, I don't know.
Now I'm old and I don't care.
Are you still really excited when games go to extra innings?
So pumped.
I'm like, woo, free baseball.
Hey, do you have some event tonight we want to plug?
I do.
Yeah, and that's the other thing.
So now my day is going to be extra long.
So up at 515 this morning to get my kid to football.
And I'm single parenting this week because my husband's out of town. So now my day is going to be extra long. So up at 5.15 this morning to get my kid to football,
and I'm single parenting this week because my husband's out of town.
So I get both kids to school.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not an invitation.
Oh, God.
Get both kids to school.
Get to the game.
What a power couple that would be, huh?
Can you imagine?
Oh, yeah.
I can imagine.
I don't want to.
You should see what I'm picturing in my head right now, Emily.
Stop looking at me, Dan.
It's so weird.
You know we've loved each other for a long time.
A long time.
Yeah.
And so then I'll go straight from the game to North Park Mall, to Kendra Scott inside North Park Mall.
And we have an event tonight for the mom game, helping them launch their new game day gear,
focusing mainly on the
Cowboys since it's football season.
But so we'll be there.
We'd love for anybody and everybody who's here to come stop by North Park at the Kendra
Scott and the portion of the proceeds.
I think 20 to 25 percent of the proceeds will go to the Komen Foundation, which obviously
is very meaningful to us and to Julie being a breast cancer survivor.
Thank you for asking.
Did you just invite people in this room to go to Kendra Scott?
I did. I did. All of you. All of you.
I want to see all of you at Kendra Scott.
I have a feeling the guy with the mustache and the 1983 youth minister glasses is not going to be there.
I can help you pick out some earrings.
For who?
For who?
Girls, wives.
Right. Look at him. I know. Well, you never know. I hope you pick out some earrings. For who? For who? Girls, wives.
Right, look at him.
I know, well.
Girls?
You never know.
You never know when you might need a gift.
So yeah, thank you for asking.
I appreciate that.
Why did you tell him thank you?
He didn't ask you.
Because he prompted it.
No, he didn't.
He was just sitting there.
Oh, she knows.
Sitting there like a bump on a log.
She knows the biz.
I thought he prompted.
Sorry, did you prompt?
He didn't do a damn thing.
Okay, I'll give you your flowers then. Thank you. I got it right here on my list. She knows the biz. I thought you prompted. Sorry, did you prompt? You didn't do a damn thing. Okay, I'll give you your flowers then.
I got it right here on my list.
Oh, thank you.
That's so kind and thoughtful of y'all.
I put it on my list.
He might have typed it.
Thank you.
But it's my list.
What else do you want to talk about?
I don't know.
Moving you along.
Oh.
Just trying to bring it.
Moving me along?
No, I'm not moving you along.
You want to do the news with us?
Sure.
Okay.
What if I told you first that if you have an inkling that a certain quarterback will throw for more than 300 yards?
Okay.
Or a certain receiver will grab a touchdown?
Yeah.
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And this is not the final copy point,
but the final copy point that I will read says,
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Is it?
I mean, it says it right there.
Okay, good to know.
This is the final copy point.
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I'm exhausted.
Hold on.
I wasn't paying attention to me.
No, please don't.
Oh, my gosh.
No, we won't do that.
We only have to play it once.
There are so many times.
So many times what?
So many times I should have called that number.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You like playing a little?
It was a thing.
Are you in the one league that our fellow Ranger friends?
Yeah.
Yes.
Okay.
And I was in like second place last week.
Oh, really?
Yes.
Got your money back.
Okay, listen.
No, I know.
I was and then it dropped out.
Oh, after like Saturday.
Yeah.
Well, I did all Saturday games.
Okay.
So I thought I was gonna
I do all Sunday to make it last longer yeah you always want to make it last longer um so but my
daughter is also doing it oh okay you're teaching your daughter she yes that's what good parents do
right teach them what we know um and so she's doing it and the first week she picked all favorites
and did something jacked up with her rank system.
And she finished like 58th, and I finished like 212th.
And I actually put thought into it.
And then week two, I was like, this is so dumb.
Why am I thinking about this?
Just start clicking on stuff.
I'm so upset that I did it.
It's just a beating every Friday night,
having to put them in there and pull the rankings.
Imagine that.
And then imagine Jared texting you every Rangers game day
asking you for your home run pick in order of draft order
based on some point system that he established
and emailed to us at the beginning of the season.
None of us understand.
We're just doing it.
And you don't even win anything.
No, it's just to keep Jared happy because we love him.
It's hard not to love Jared.
I know.
It's a problem.
Being friends with him is a problem.
There's a lot of things involved when you're friends with Jared.
I adore him.
Like bailing him out of jail.
Yes.
I heard about this.
Yeah.
It's a thing.
But it's worth it.
It's worth it.
But only seven more home run picks for me.
Winding down.
This is the part where you start.
Yeah, news.
News.
Oh, sorry.
I know.
Just wanted to give everybody ample time.
That's very kind.
All right.
So the days of Michael Scott serving as the branch manager at the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company are long gone.
branch of Dunder Mifflin Paper Company are long gone, but it has not kept the Office franchise from expanding with spinoffs. The most recent one is going to debut on Prime Video on October 18th,
and we will find the Office moving to Australia.
I think that we are all big lovers of The Office, British version, U.S. version.
Dan, I know you're a huge fan.
Blake, you love The Office, right?
Yes.
Okay.
Is it going to be somebody from the American version? I don't recognize any of the actors in this trailer.
American version?
I don't recognize any of the actors in this trailer.
One difference is the office is going to be headed by a female.
As it should be.
Michael Scott had a wiener.
This is fiction.
This person will not have a wiener.
And we have the trailer.
Women can do anything. I'm not even trailer. Hey, women can do anything.
I'm not even going. What? I'm not.
I got two daughters. I like to teach them.
You can almost do anything.
They could be
referees in the NBA. Yes, they can.
For the regular season games.
So if you will
cast your gaze on
our video monitor,
we will play for you the two-minute Australian office trailer,
and we'll talk about it on the other side.
I didn't realize that was a camera.
Big announcement.
Can I have a drumroll, please?
The drumroll, Lloyd.
That's how I drumroll.
People ask me, how can I become a great boss?
And the answer is having a
happy staff that love you this is a proper HR nightmare as of today we are
all back in the office full-time what that's not good news
I'm promoting you to Productivity Manager.
Yes sir.
Do I want to support the vision of my branch manager?
At all costs.
Why am I watching this?
Is this the dark web?
What are we doing here?
No, it's not the dark web.
We're going to talk about it.
You said Lizzie?
Okay.
The perks of coming to work?
Riling up Lizzie.
Flirting.
Watching Nick rile up Lizzie.
What's his name?
My crow's name is Russell.
Hello Rusty.
How are you, mate?
Nick, no.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Do we need to keep watching it?
We lost one of our own last week.
Brian died.
Like, this is way longer than that disclaimer.
He's always in my heart.
Oh, is he the tall, sad one?
Yeah.
No, he was the short and smiley one.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
What nationality is he?
What sexual identity is he?
It just feels like...
It doesn't feel relevant, does it?
Are you telling me there's going to be something good at the end?
No, I'm not.
Look.
All right, well, let's fade this out.
We don't need to watch it.
I did not build this up to be anything great.
Okay.
I'm reporting the news, and I want initial reaction on...
Yeah, I think we have enough for initial reaction.
Yeah, what do you think?
It's ridiculous.
I won't watch one second of that.
Why does this exist?
How about come up with a new idea?
Not only do they have girl Michael Scott,
they have girl Dwight.
Okay.
And I couldn't tell by the other...
I thought we did this with Ghostbusters
and Star Wars, right?
We got the girls doing it.
Okay.
Good.
We're good.
I don't think the girl is the focus.
I think the fact they're just trying to capitalize
on something that was successful and redo it.
Right.
I mean, we already did it with the American office.
Right.
Right.
Well, the Americans did it with the British office.
That's what I'm saying.
We already stole one.
Right.
We don't now steal it again.
Yeah.
No, I agree.
I'm out.
But yeah, unless they actually have Dwight,
then I might tune in.
The American office worked because it was so different from the British Office as far
as tone and vibe.
And the characters were unique.
This is trying to imitate the exact...
This looks like bad acting and maybe worse writing.
Right.
Like a spoof of the American Office.
That's not funny. Yeah. I didn'toof of The American Office. That's not funny.
Yeah.
I didn't ever watch The British Office.
Should I go back and watch?
I think it's great.
And here's the big selling point.
It's like six episodes.
Yeah.
Like the whole series.
So you can get through it.
Yeah.
The whole series is six episodes?
Yeah.
When somebody tells you, hey, you should watch The Sopranos.
It's three seasons.
You're like, I'm out.
The Sopranos is 100 episodes. It episodes it's exhausting no 91 yeah the yeah do it
the uh do it and come back and uh and review it for us so the british office i saw before they
ever developed the american office and i love the american office went back to re-watch the
british office and i didn't think it was as near as funny as I thought it was when I initially saw it. Okay. Because I think
I was spoiled by the
way they did the American Office.
It was super, it was
better paced for a sitcom.
Man, the British Office,
it's so awkwardly
uncomfortable and
slow paced. Kind of
like Dan. Okay.
Yeah. It's a great analogy, actually. Okay. Yeah. It's a great analogy,
actually.
Dan.
Yeah.
It's fantastic.
It's why we love him.
Yes.
Oh,
adore him.
Love oozing.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I think I owe it
to my office brain
to at least watch
a couple of these
because they're probably
going to be,
what,
20 minutes long?
Okay,
you do that and report that. I'm going to
because I don't want to judge it by
this trailer. It's hard not to because it looks really
crappy, but I think I'll give it a shot.
You know Saad Youssef? I do.
He's seen the...
How many times? 30-something?
No. Like the entire series,
30 times. He doesn't have kids,
does he? He doesn't have kids. Or a wife.
I think he now has a wife.
No way a wife's not a dad.
Didn't he score himself a wife?
I think that's public.
Okay.
I wonder how many times he's watched the full season since he got married.
That would be the question.
Yeah, I don't know.
Okay.
He does travel a lot.
Yeah.
I had an interesting question posed to me yesterday so
there was a there was an adult choir yesterday that sang the national anthem they can sing
whatever the hell they want okay and so i had an unnamed ranger player come up to me and say
uh hey uh so let me operate under the assumption that your husband's not in a choir and i said
that this is a correct assumption he said what would you do if your husband was in a choir he
was like hey honey i'll be back i'm going to choir practice he was like my wife would punch me in the
face and i was like well i don't know if i'd go that far but yeah there'd be a lot of questions
not that there's anything wrong with that but i wouldn't it just would it seems like a very niche uh space to just and like you know
it's like not like being in a you know a men's adult softball league or a kickball league or
something but why is it why is it different because we're terribly stereotypical and judgmental. Oh, okay.
Because it's like gay or something?
No, sexist.
But to be in a choir.
But if it's a church choir, okay.
But just like a... But I mean, if that's your only talent,
you couldn't mash like Blake can on the softball field.
He can hit a home run at will.
He's awesome at softball.
It's common that people can do that.
Yeah, but I can't do it.
Yeah.
How big is the field?
300 feet.
Okay.
It's regulation softball, right?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
300 feet.
Yeah, that's doable.
Not for everyone.
It's not like that thing across the pond from the old ballpark?
It's not.
It's not.
No.
The mini ballpark.
The mini ballpark.
Yeah.
I don't even know if that's what it's called anymore.
What were we talking about?
How you think choir is gay.
Oh, and I didn't say that.
I'm saying, she's saying that's the stereotype.
It is.
But if that's your actual talent, like if I could sing, which I cannot.
God, I wish I could sing.
It's kind of like if I had a six pack, I'd probably be going shirt off right now.
Yeah.
Like, don't you know that guy?
We all know that guy who's like really in good shape.
He's hot.
And like if somebody says, hey, let's play basketball.
He's like, all right, skins, skins.
Like right away.
He always takes his shirt off.
And I would too if I was him.
100%.
Oh, why did I say it again?
That's all right.
If I could sing, maybe I'd be like, well, I can't.
Where am I going to show this off?
Right.
The William Pace show. Huh?
The William Pace show. That's true.
Could do that.
Inside joke there, Emily. Okay, yeah.
Not familiar. Most people in here got it.
Right. Not familiar. It's an inside joke
for this
bubble that we're in here. Okay.
You want some more crap?
I'm not
running, do they do this on Fox 4?
Do they kind of just ask Doocy, like, hey, you want us to do more news, bro?
Or do they actually just have their own news?
What are we doing here?
I have news, but I'm enjoying your conversation.
Everyone's moving you along today.
I know.
I was just waiting for the appropriate amount of silence to feel like the conversation was at its end or near its end.
Well, from what I understand recently.
We did talk about this.
From what I recently understand,
it's uncomfortable, awkward silence
any time I don't say anything.
Oh, somebody's got their feelers hurt.
Hey, I don't care.
I don't care at all.
I mean, just from what I'm hearing,
that awkward silence is just awkward for everyone.
All right.
It's been a big week for Puff Daddy.
54 years old.
He is in jail, detained by federal agents.
There's three big charges on him.
Sex trafficking by force, racketeering conspiracy, and transportation to engage in prostitution.
Now, a woman that was involved in an incident involving him.
You can't even drive to get a hooker?
That's illegal?
I think when you bring them across state lines.
Oh, you're trans.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like human trafficking.
I thought you could get arrested for just driving to go get one.
No, no.
You got to walk if you want to get a hooker.
Yeah.
You have to take your scooter.
So a woman that claimed even back then and actually got a settlement from P. Diddy for an incident that happened in 1999.
She said that in December of 99 that she was at a Manhattan nightclub with a friend.
And Diddy and when he was dating, he was dating Jennifer Lopez at the time.
And they both arrived together at this party.
During a party, Puff Daddy got into a verbal argument with an alleged drug dealer.
It led to gunshots being fired.
She ended up taking a bullet right in the middle of her forehead.
Holy smokes.
Shot her in the face.
And she lived.
That's illegal now?
Incredible. We're so illegal now? Incredible.
We're so woke now, Dan.
We can't just shoot people in the face.
She goes, I watched him pull the trigger.
I saw him with my own eyes.
I know it was him.
It hit her in the middle of her eyes.
It was a 9mm hollow point bullet.
And she ended up.
And she lived.
She did.
She lived. Yes. and she uh ended up and she lived she did she lived yes and uh there were puff daddy
uh some accomplices that were with him and j-lo all fled the scene but they got pulled over a
little bit later by cops there was a short chase they found a stolen loaded nine millimeter
semi-automatic and three of the men were hit with weapons possession charges.
J-Lo was arrested as well.
I don't remember any of this, but she was held in a cell for more than 12 hours.
She was never charged.
They ended up, there was a criminal trial.
One of his cronies went down, took the rap, and he ended up spending i believe about 10 years in jail
the problem was is when this woman got hit in the face with the bullet the fragments that were
removed from her face were they were unable to prove any ballistics match with the pistol that
was found in the car with uh with puff daddy that night so there was an acquittal on him.
Another guy ended up going to jail for maybe it was the gun charge.
But she sued him and won almost $2 million in a civil rights suit with Puff Daddy.
So anyway, she's very happy and excited that he is in jail right now.
And some other fun Puff Daddy news, you might be interested to know what.
So he's in federal prison or federal custody in this Brooklyn jail, MDC Brooklyn, since he was arraigned on Tuesday.
He's denied bail because of his high-profile status and the nature of his charges.
But you might want to be interested.
You might be interested in what he was offered for food.
His first night in jail.
His first night in jail, Dan, he was served Swedish meatballs for dinner.
Now, he could have opted for the black bean burger
if he wanted to make a healthier choice,
but this is just random.
I'm surprised that the food is not only this good sounding, but such a variety.
Sides were a possibility of egg noodles, green beans, or a garden salad with a 16 ounce beverage.
How do people find this out?
Is there like the school lunch menu?
This is the New York Post.
And he's in jail in Brooklyn.
So, you know, I'm sure they've got their moles inside.
But I don't know.
I thought that was kind of interesting.
50 Cent actually weighed in on this arrest.
By the way, they found when they raided his home, he had a shelf dedicated to lube.
It was like 1,000 bottles of sex oil. Yeah, wasn't there like baby oil involved?
Yeah, yeah, lots of oil and lubes, over a thousand bottles of lube, Dan.
Does that rival your collection?
Well, I just feel like that's, at least he's showing some care for, right?
I don't want it to hurt.
Right.
See, Dan always finds the bright side in these cases.
Or hurt that bad.
Yeah.
It's not.
Baby oil is not advisable.
No?
Apparently.
I've heard.
For lubing?
Yes.
Dan never shows true empathy for the victims.
He tries to show the bright side that maybe their experience could have been worse thanks to lube.
Right.
That's what I'm.
No matter what I go through, I'd like to think of those less fortunate than me.
Yeah.
That makes me feel better about my own lot in life.
Yes.
Yeah.
This is well known about you.
It's a peculiar strategy.
50 Cent went to Instagram.
He had recently made an appearance on Drew Barrymore's talk show.
Yeah.
She's got a talk show?
She does.
Is it good?
I don't know.
I don't watch television.
What do you think?
Except for sports.
What do you think?
Of course it's not good.
Dan?
No, I'll bet it's Emmy winning.
Wait.
I bet it's hard hitting.
Bright side, Dan.
Is it on Fox?
I don't think she's on Fox.
Okay, then it sucks.
I don't see that in the hallways
when we're walking around there.
No, I'm not sure.
Okay.
We don't have to love everything that's on Fox, do we?
I'm a big fan of Fox.
There we go.
Okay, I guess we do.
You know what I do like on Fox is The Floor.
I love Rob Lowe.
I love everything.
There's a show with Rob Lowe?
Yeah, he's a game show host on a show called The Floor.
I watched every episode last season.
I like everything on Channel 27.
Name one program other than your own.
Have you...
GMFB.
Other than that one.
Right before...
Right before DZTV.
Do you know we have a TV show?
I heard that.
Congratulations.
How about that?
Don't start listing off
Green Acres and Bonanza.
Do you wear that on the TV show?
Well, tune in tonight.
Is this the first one?
Yeah, we'll wear this.
This is my business jeans and my black plain black shirt.
I will say, the jeans are good.
Thanks.
Your shoe game is just...
Oh, you hate my shoes.
What is he doing?
What are you wearing?
Just my regular old man shoes.
Orthopedic old man nursing home shoes.
Should I wear my Lucas?
Yes.
Damn, I got Lucas.
Oh, 100%.
Stop saying it.
Yes, you should definitely wear your Lucas.
Don't wear those.
Do you wear those with shorts?
What do you think?
This is all I ever wear every day.
Yes, you nailed it.
Should I not wear these anymore?
See, Emily can change my look.
Get some decent.
Oh, yeah.
Years ago, she gave me a makeover.
I did.
I gave Dan a makeover.
What did you change?
From what to what?
I just tried to get in some good jeans.
You know.
We went out shopping together.
We did.
Did a bit.
We did.
And not just Hanes t-shirts.
So you can tell I haven't been with you in a while.
No, I can tell.
I have like eight of these t-shirts.
The exact same one.
Right.
Not surprising.
What does that mean?
This is jealousy from a lady who can't dress the same every day.
You know what?
There's something to that.
Now, if you were in yoga pants and a hoodie, now we'd be talking.
to that yeah now if you were in yoga pants and a hoodie now we'd be talking but i there's like you have no idea just like what a decent pair of like cool kicks would do for your whole look
like you're looking good i don't know the word i don't know the what that means like so walk into
a store and say hey i would like cool kicks yeah just yes make sure you record it yes and record it yeah just like i need some more
updated give me some direction yeah i'll send you some links okay what size are you we need a
sponsor walk into the footlocker 12 slash 13 so walk into the footlocker at town east mall and
mesquite and tell them announce everybody that you need some new drip. Yeah. So, honestly, the old guy that I know that has the best, like Tom Grieve.
Tom Grieve would wear a good pair of jeans.
He always had cool shoes.
And, you know, then he would wear a polo or whatever.
But he always looked so sharp and so put together.
And it starts with the jeans, fellas.
Will that help my Riz?
It will totally up your Riz.
I want my Riz game to get better.
They'll be thinking you're Sigma.
And demure.
So demure.
What about my Legma?
You'll be a brat.
It could be brat fall for you, Dan.
It'll be a brat autumn.
Yeah.
Brat autumn.
It'll be a brat autumn for you.
I don't know what Sigma is, but on...
I don't either.
My kid does.
When I was on the Steve Noviello show, a Brad Autumn for you. I don't know what Sigma is, but on... I don't either. My kid does. The...
When I was on
the Steve Noviello show,
they used the term Sigma
and it's the one thing
I held back.
Because it was not
a crowd for me.
No.
Steve Noviello
and the others
that were on the panel.
Can you imagine
people that have never
been around Dan
like just walking
into that?
Right.
But in my head, they said Sigma, and I wanted to throw out Ligma.
Why?
Do you know Ligma?
Ligma?
Yeah.
No, not for me.
I should.
Ligma balls.
Why didn't you do it?
He would have gotten no support.
That's the thing.
See, I need this room in there.
While I'm on the Steve Noviello show,
that will give me power to...
I can't believe I just got ligmed by Dan McDowell.
We both did.
We both did.
Okay, can I tell you a funny one
that I wanted to do just last night?
And I didn't do it because I chickened out.
So I was doing a report and Adolis Garcia was up. just last night. And I didn't do it because I chickened out.
So I was doing a report and Adolis Garcia was up
and I was talking
and I heard the ball
because usually I'm looking
at the monitor
to see what's in the screen.
So I hear the bat
and I'm like,
and I just said,
and I thought to myself,
I'm going to make this home run call.
But then I split second thought,
it's not a no doubter.
I can't do that.
I'll get completely crushed just by screwing that up.
So I just said, oh, dear.
Like you wanted to jump in?
No, I was already talking.
So I needed to lay out and get it back up to Dave
so the professional could do what he's supposed to do.
And I just thought about taking it myself.
Like, this is my moment.
I'm going to make this home run call. Yeah, I'll get fired. And I already had what I was going to do. I was going to just thought about taking it myself. Like, this is my moment. I'm going to make this home run call.
Yeah, I'll get fired.
And I already had what I was going to do.
I was going to just pretend like I was Dave.
And I was like, that ball is struck and it is gone!
Just like Dave does.
And I was like, this is going to be amazing.
This all went through your head in the split second.
Seriously.
And I was like, I'm going to do it.
And then, because I go, oh dear.
And then I chickened out because it wasn't a no-doubter.
And I thought, if I do this whole bit.
And then it hits the wall or caught on the morning track.
I do this whole bit that I think is funny.
Our crew will love it.
I think our fan base would love it.
Outside of our fan base, I'm going to get completely demolished.
I will be on awful announcing.
People will crush me and want me to lose my job.
But I was so excited about that opportunity just to have that moment with Dave
to where I tried to pretend like I was him.
And I didn't do it.
I bet you thought about that all night.
I chickened out.
Oh, I told him today.
I told Dave this morning.
He's like, oh, my God.
Like his first thing you thought of?
Missed opportunity.
Missed opportunity.
It did go out.
It did end up going out.
Did you double up on early bird to get through your night?
I did.
I took three early birds last night to
rock myself to sleep.
Feels like you're going to end the news
without saying that's the end of the news, right?
Doesn't it feel like he's just
It feels like he doesn't have much more.
I feel like I'm like 17 more
stories, but you want to end the news.
I feel like it's my fault. I feel like I'm a big detractor
in this whole thing. No, you're making this thing work.
Screwing up the operation.
I do have to go soon.
So we need any pressing questions you have for me about the Rangers rotation in 2025
or the off-season acquisitions we're targeting, let me know.
Do you have to go like now?
Not right now.
I've got a few more minutes.
Do you want to hear me tell you all about Prosper Ford, which is open now?
Just lure me in. Which has 80,000 square
feet of new and used sales facilities. It's a gorgeous showroom, state-of-the-art service
department. Every aspect of that dealership was built Ford Proud by a friend of mine, Chaz Gilmore.
I've been dealing with Chaz for over a decade now over at Grapevine Ford, and he finally got to open his own dealership.
It is in Prosper.
It is called Prosper Ford.
You can go to prosperford.com.
Kind of check out the whole inventory, and then you'll have an idea of what you want.
They got that EV.
They've, of course, got the Bronco, driven proudly by myself and Video Man.
We don't drive the same vehicle.
We both have our own Broncos.
And anyway, it's great.
I have bought four now because we got a vehicle for my youngest daughter this summer.
So now four vehicles I've bought from Chaz over the years, and they're fantastic.
Great service.
It's Prosper Ford.
Go to 380 and the tollway, or go to prosperford.com.
The Dumb Zone presents Today in History.
And tell them that Dan sent you something.
I don't know.
He'd probably help us if you did.
But, you know, do your thing, man. Well, it helped them.
Do your thing.
Will they get a better or worse deal if they say that you recommend it?
You'll get a way better deal.
Okay.
As we stated previously, today is Thursday, September 10th.
September 19th.
On this day in 1955, superfan Bill Sherwood, he was a Braves superfan.
He was perched on the top of a flagpole since June 23rd,
and he descended after he vowed to stay up there
until the Braves won seven in a row.
They won six in a row three times, but they never got to seven.
And then they only had like five games left in the season, so he went down.
Do you remember this story last year?
I don't.
Me and Blake, I was talking to Blake about it last year on this show,
but we just did kind of reports on sitting on a flagpole.
And in the early 1900s, this was a big deal. How do you sit on a flagpole. And in the early 1900s, this was a big deal.
How do you sit on a flagpole?
I guess you build a little
porch thing.
Flat wood. So you sit on a
stand attached to a flagpole.
Yeah, like they put it up, but you're on the top
of a flagpole and you're just staying up there.
It's like a crow's nest. For weeks.
But it used to be like a major thing, like in the United States. Boxing, baseball, and flagpole and you're just staying up there. It's like a crow's nest. For weeks. But it used to be like a major thing
like in the United States.
Boxing, baseball, and flagpole sitting.
Wasn't there like
contests that if you could
I don't know, I feel like
maybe I'm thinking of hold your hand on a
car and don't take it off.
Oh yeah, there probably
were. I'll bet you there were, yeah.
Or like ploys to get people to donate.
Like, I'm not getting off this pole
until I raise $10,000 for...
Not that pole, but a flagpole.
You want to do that?
Sit on a flagpole?
Yeah, would you do it for...
The dumb zone?
Yeah, to get us 10,000 subs.
And you know after 10,000 subs
we have to do shrooms
on the air. That's our goal.
Really? I've never done shrooms.
Actually, I think I
nibbled on one one time
and was like, 19.
What up? Out at tech?
Out at tech. I was out at tech.
That's part of the prerequisite for
going to tech, right? Yeah.
No, that's Boone's Farm.
Is that still a thing?
She ain't lying.
I don't know.
Strawberry Hill, Purple Passion.
Oh, my God.
OE.
That's when you know you're a real one.
Yeah.
You got an old English 40.
Where'd you go to high school?
Plainview.
Okay.
Nothing like a little malt liquor gets you going.
You'd love mushrooms.
Would I?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, you'd have a blast.
Okay.
Yeah, from what I know, as long as I've known you,
I think that might be the one that really clicks with you.
If we get 10,000 subs, will you do mushrooms on a Ranger broadcast?
No.
Oh.
I'll do them on the show with you.
I'm not going to do them on a ranger broadcast.
Can you imagine the home run calls she'd be making then?
Oh, my gosh.
And that's how we negotiate.
The groundhog to first.
Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing.
So on this day in 1973, Graham Parsons.
You ever heard of him?
Yeah, 100%.
With the birds.
What year? 1973, 100%. With the Birds. What year?
1973. He dies under
mysterious conditions.
Is the Birds a band?
Yes, the Birds.
He was with the Birds for one album.
Danny is a big music guy. I know. That's why I asked him.
He died in a motel room in
Joshua Tree and
he basically, his body
failed as a result of barbiturates, alcohol, you name it.
He was a mess.
He was a massive mess.
Where is Joshua Tree?
California.
Southern.
Isn't that also the title of an album?
It's a desert.
Yeah.
It's a U2 record.
Yeah.
Look at me.
What else does it say about Graham?
Okay, so the death was mysterious, but then the aftermath is crazy.
Yeah, as a manager.
So earlier.
You have it in front of you.
Before the death, he told his manager that he wished to be cremated
and have his ashes scattered in that park, Joshua Tree National Park.
So he dies in you know, drug overdose.
So his manager gets a friend.
And they go to the hospital, I guess.
The morgue.
No.
They go to the hospital impersonating mortuary workers.
Right.
And so, Western...
It says here, Western Airlines. Maybe they flew...
I don't know what the deal is.
Anyway, they released the body to them.
So they take it to Joshua Tree
and set it on fire.
Oh, dear.
His manager.
Yeah, they were real messed up. They were drinking.
This would be like me telling you,
hey, bro, if I die, I want to be cremated.
I got you.
And then so you go impersonate a, you know, you get a hearse.
You go and get my body and then just light it on fire.
Like, oh, that's how he wants.
Yeah.
So, yeah, they got in trouble.
They took him to the desert. They poured gas on him and set him on fire. Well, yeah, they got in trouble. They took him to the desert.
They poured gas on him and set him on fire.
Well, the fire went out.
He was only partially burned, so it's not like there was just his ashes there.
And they got in trouble.
There was a really bad B movie starring Johnny Knoxville called Grand Theft Parsons that came out a number of years ago.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Okay, I'd never heard of this until this morning.
Yeah.
On this day in 1988, Olympic diver Greg Louganis suffered a concussion
after striking his head on the diving board.
Guess his nickname, Emily, that Dan has.
I don't have a nickname for him.
Please.
I remember this.
I heard it as a kid.
Go ahead, Dan.
Something about anus. Was it Greg Loug a kid. Something about anus.
Was it Greg?
Something about anus.
Yeah.
I mean, it's kind of obvious.
Kind of a layup.
Low-hanging fruit.
Definitely.
Yes.
You stopped, though.
It's so annoying.
Oh, I know what it was.
What?
His bottom wasn't tight.
It was loose.
His bottom.
He's such a mom.
That's right.
Greg, not tight bottom.
Not tight bottom.
That's his nickname. Not tight Bottom. Not Tight Bottom. That's his nickname.
Not Tight Bottom.
That's so good.
On this day in 2015, Baker Mayfield set an Oklahoma record with 572 total yards,
four touchdown passes, and he ran for two more touchdowns in the Sooners' 52-38 victory over Tulsa.
What a rehabilitated image for that guy.
Dude.
Man.
I love me some Baker.
I mean, he's getting it in the Cheddar's parking lot or whatever,
and then now he's like the poster child for, look at me,
I'm a handsome, young NFL quarterback daddy.
I mean.
It would have been better if it was at a Cheddar's.
What was it?
Cheesecake Factory.
It's about the same.
We've been there.
We were there like a couple weeks ago.
I saw hand motions and everything.
Hand motions?
Yeah, I saw some hand motions, I thought.
Maybe.
That was Jake. Yeah. I thought there might have been some hand motions. Yeah, I saw some hand motions, I thought. Maybe. That was Jake.
Yeah.
I thought there might have been some hand motions.
Other birthdays today, we have Stefan Gilmore is 34,
former Cowboy.
Marshall Henderson is 34.
Social experiment.
What was that bit?
What's his chemspin?
He tweeted a slur, and instead of apologizing,
he said, I was just doing a social experiment.
It's actually better than saying your account got hacked.
Did you read my birthday
on August 1st when it was my birthday?
I don't know.
Did anybody send in Emily's birthday? Probably not.
Oh, you're saying she's not famous enough to...
Definitely not famous enough to...
I think I might have, though.
Because I do have you on my old list.
Oh, look at that.
Let's see.
It's an old list.
It's okay.
It was just kind of a throwaway question.
All right, well, I'm not going to search it.
Yeah, I'll just say no.
Let's just say no.
Okay.
Move on.
Former Maverick Trey Young is 26.
He was a Maverick for like a minute.
Yeah.
Drafted by the Mavs. Jim Abbott is 26. He was a Maverick for like a minute. Yeah. Drafted by the Mavs.
Jim Abbott is 57.
What's his claim to fame?
One-armed pitcher.
No?
One hand.
Okay.
Two arms.
Okay.
That's a good point.
It would be done maybe, but probably not.
I mean, he had the glove hanging on his nub. Right. Yeah. If he had one arm, what would he do? It would be up here. Yeah. It would be done maybe, but probably not. I mean, he had the glove hanging on his nub.
Right.
Yeah.
If he had one arm, what would he do?
It would be up here.
Yeah.
It would be hard.
Yeah.
Like a flipper.
Yeah.
Through a no-hitter.
Yeah.
I've heard.
Wouldn't you be embarrassed to be that team?
Why?
No.
No, I wouldn't.
Why?
Yeah.
His pitching arm was apparently quite effective.
And you probably had to be really, like, probably had to be better than most pitchers
because you definitely didn't want to field anything.
So get really good at getting guys out.
Finished his career with 17 home runs.
Shut up.
That is unbelievable.
Would that be impressive? Yeah. That is unbelievable. Would that be impressive?
Yeah, okay, yeah.
And if you're the pitcher that gave up a home run to Jim Abbott,
you'd be like, oh, man.
Let Stevie Wonder take the wheel for a while.
Yes, that would be impressive.
Actor Scott Columby is 72.
He is Denunzio from Caddyshack.
You ever see it?
Yeah.
Oh.
Good show. Huh, huh? it? Yeah Good show
Medium?
Yeah
You liked it?
Yeah I watched it a long time ago
I mean I like the baby Ruth in the pool scene
That's about it
Sherry Oteri is 62
Spare
Sparey Oteri?
Yes
She did nothing that I thought was funny.
Sick burn.
Eric Rudolph is 57.
The Olympic Park Bomber.
Katrina Bowden is 36.
She's the hot on 30 Rock.
Jimmy Fallon is 50.
He's the not funny guy hosting a late night talk show.
And for this man over here,
Blake Jones.
Little quiz for Blake.
Victor Williams is 54.
He's an actor.
Oh, man.
Where would Doug Heffernan be without his good friend Deacon?
Deacon Palmer on King of Queens.
Do you know that he's stoked
on King of Queens?
I've never seen one episode.
Is it good?
I guess you like it, huh?
Is that the one with Leila Rahimi?
Close enough, yeah.
Leah Remini.
Leila Rahimi?
Tell her your Leah Remini story.
It's great.
I'm thinking of Leila.
Didn't she tweet you back or reply to something?
Did she slide in your DMs?
No, she did something.
So back in the year 2011, I was a 20-year-old kid.
I was an idiot.
And I saw that she was
up on Twitter late one night
just responding to people tweeting.
And so I thought,
this is my opportunity.
It's my chance.
And I love her.
She's Carrie in King of Queens,
my favorite TV show.
She's the hottest woman ever
who's married to Kevin James
in the show.
And so I tweeted at her, hey, let me know if you ever get a divorce.
Hashtag celebrity crush.
Okay.
Just let her know.
Yeah, put it out there.
I'm interested.
Shoot your shot.
About two weeks ago.
Whoa.
She announces she's getting a divorce.
Wait, you got to back up.
Oh, she responded. I'm so sorry. She responded to that. Wait back up oh she responded i'm sure she responded to that in 2011
she was yeah she responded to 20 year old blake what did she say will do oh okay so he saved it
so i saved that email it's the oldest email i have in my inbox and so uh i just screenshotted
that exchange and let her know i would love to buy her a cup of coffee one day. Stop it.
Two weeks ago when they announced, yeah, she was getting divorced. Did she respond?
No.
Not yet.
Hey, there's still time.
There's still time.
There's still time.
So she's your hall pass.
She?
Oh, yeah.
She is.
The thing is, I think that's a written contract.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, she wrote, will do.
Will do.
Yeah.
She didn't say, there wasn't a u at the end it was
just will do but if she can break out of the church of scientology i think she can break
disagreement too agreed that's tough but i'm holding i'm holding out hope i think it's because
of the way that all those sitcoms were set up where you have the super attractive wife and then
the Homer Simpson dad
it gave false hope to a lot of softball
players that
they had a chance and I think that's why
young Blake
saw that show
and said hey
I mean I'll throw it out there
maybe I can drive a truck and get a hot wife
yeah that's the thing that didn't make sense mean. I'll throw it out there. Maybe I can drive a truck and get a hot wife. Right. Yeah.
Yeah, that's the thing that didn't make sense. You've seen guys
that look like him have hot wives.
Who are rich. Right.
Born on this day, now dead.
James Lipton.
Adam West.
The original.
Batman.
He was on King of Queens too.
And I'll give you Joe Morgan because Emily's here.
Aw.
Because she loves baseball.
I do.
Big baseball girl.
Dead on this day, still dead.
I'll give you James Garfield.
What's his bit?
President.
That's right.
Way to go, guys.
Chester Carlson invented photocopying.
And Orville Redenbacher died on this day.
Is he still a thing people know about?
Is that still a thing?
Popcorn?
Orville Redenbacher?
Is popcorn still a thing?
Yes.
Okay.
Is popcorn as popular as it was back in the day for at-home consumption?
My kids eat it.
Do they really?
I'm eating it all the time, man.
Do you really?
Okay.
And we have Skinny Pop that comes in the bag, already popped, and it's in our container,
but they want the Pop popcorn.
Okay.
In certain situations, not all the time.
I'm sure it's still big.
You ever do the Jiffy Pop?
No.
Oh, with the aluminum thing that would puff up?
Yeah, they'll sell that at Target at the $1 thing when you walk in.
So we buy a couple of those.
It sucks, but it's just fun.
Half of them are uncooked, and the ones that are cooked are burnt to a crisp.
Did you cook popcorn for real before there was microwave popcorn when you were a kid?
Like putting the butter in the pot and putting the popcorn in the lid?
We had one of those.
Yeah, we didn't do the pot, but we had a popcorn maker that had a dome on it.
It was like orange and a black bottom.
Yeah, I'm talking about stovetop, like doing it for real, old school.
Yeah, we did that when I was little.
Okay, I've got like three minutes.
Okay, in college I had the air popper. Oh, he hears you. Did you ever have one of those? No. They don't do that anymore, I've got like three minutes. Okay, in college I had the air popper.
Oh, he hears you.
You ever have one of those?
No.
They don't do that anymore, I don't think.
No.
I have three minutes, Dan.
Oh, okay.
Well.
She can leave whenever she wants, right?
Well, yeah.
Three minutes is all the time I need.
Three.
For what?
What are you going to do with the other two
well we're wrapping things up here anyway i had a dollar for every time i heard that yeah
what any questions rapid fire oh i don't know what do you think we had i thought we just talked for
yeah we did i just want to make i didn't know if you want to know about the Rangers rotation in 2025
or off-season evaluation.
I want to know what player you would cut today
because of their lack of production.
Oh, Jesus.
I want to know what Ranger coach and the coaching staff you think
is the lowest ranked and you said we could fire him. We could fire him
at any point in time. That's right.
I gotta go. I'm out of time. I want to know which
TV broadcaster
is the most
handsy with Emily Jones.
Handsy.
Don't talk about Dave like that. I feel like
Dave Raymond has something to hide. No one is handsy.
Dave Raymond has a lot to hide
and I'm going to get to the bottom of it.
Dave Raymond?
Yeah.
No, he doesn't.
I adore him.
Dave is good, good people.
He's really, really good at his job.
He really is.
I love Dave, and he's not handsy.
Are you sure?
Not yet.
Positive.
I've been around him, and I've always felt uncomfortable.
Well, maybe he's got a thing for you.
Yeah.
Who is the most handsy?
Bless.
All right.
Well, since you only have one more, we're going to say goodbye to Emily Jones,
because I've got one more thing to do.
Okay.
Bye, Emily.
Thanks, you guys.
Love you.
This was fun.
Love you.
Great Emily Jones.
Go to the North Park Mall tonight, right?
Yeah.
Kendra Scott.
Go see Emily Jones.
Go see all of y'all. And Julie will be there, too. Thank you. Bye, y'all? Yeah. Kendra Scott. Go see Emily Jones.
And Julie will be there too.
Okay.
There she goes.
The great Emily Jones.
One more time, everyone.
Ha-ha.
And she promised her and Julie would kiss if you come out to...
Promise.
So he thought of that as soon as she walked in.
He's just been sitting on it the whole show.
Wait until she leaves because he's too scared
to say it in front of her.
No one's ever thought of them kissing.
Oh, anyway.
Did you see
Wire Will over there?
One of our old friends.
Did you see Cass over there?
No.
The beaten apartment guy?
Oh, the beaten apartment guy?
He's right at home sitting on the floor.
Oh, okay.
Isn't that the guy that isn't allowed to...
He can't order food.
Yeah, order DoorDash or whatever.
That's a good bit.
Drop Beth is here.
Oh, nice.
But, Wire Scott.
You know Wire Scott?
Wire Will's brother? He had something for us.
Do you got something, Wire Scott, that you want to give us?
Oh, it's Rachel.
Alright, Wire Scott, what do you got? You want to grab the mic?
You got a microphone there, fella.
Look at that. Oh, look at him just sitting down like he owns the place.
Yeah, sure.
Very chill.
Wire Scott is Wire Will's brother.
Wire Will, of course, came over early in the way old days,
wired up the den so that we could get actual internet to work there quickly.
Mm-hmm. internet to work there quickly. And then
his house
burned down
because of an electrical fire.
And that's what he...
His name is Wire Will.
Yeah.
Anyway,
can't hear Wire...
Scott is Wire Will's brother.
Just probably always been in his shadow, haven't you?
Being nine years older, absolutely.
Yeah.
Oh, so Wire Willow's a mistake.
That's what we called my younger brother.
I'm the wrong person to ask that question.
Yeah.
That's what I call all of my kids.
He's not kidding.
You'd get along well with my mom.
Yeah?
Yeah.
What's she doing later?
She's dead.
Dig her up.
She's not dead.
We just saw her.
Anyway, what is this this So about two months ago
Now put that microphone
That's how you talk in a microphone
I've never done a microphone before
You seem kind of at ease
Holding something like that
Right in front of your face
Is it the shape or the color of it
I don't like where this is going
Blake's working on the stand up set now This is the color of it? Yeah. I don't like where this is going.
Blake's working on his stand-up set now.
This is the two of us.
We've got a stage. Yeah, there we go.
We just roast people.
We need 40 more minutes.
Hey, Blake.
And I shove it in his face.
Oh, a Tuesday night.
So about two months ago, Jasmine was on and asked what was so funny about Chisholm Trail.
My husband was on and asked what was so funny about Chisholm Trail.
Listening to that episode, going home, I passed this sign.
Had never noticed it before.
Drive by it every day.
The next day, stopped, took the picture, sent it immediately to my brother, Wire Will.
Said, it's going to take younger, braver men than me, but this sign needs to find its way to the den or to the studio.
So he gave me a Dan response response just take a picture of it that's me yeah it's a version of you all right jeez i didn't know
just i'm not a comedian i don't do impressions i don't know how to work a microphone this is we could do a three-man thing yeah okay whatever you so but uh so this
is the picture anyway of the sign that none of the dad's club was willing to go and steal for us that
because somebody has stolen me or us they gave us the chisholm trail sign but it was stolen many
many years ago just for them and so yeah this is the Chisholm Aquatic Center now why are Scott why do you think why is the word
Chisholm funny I don't even understand it okay but son he's coming up will not
be sitting my kid for swim lessons there by that sign I thought that's the most
disgusting thought I've ever had so we we don't have to, we don't encourage people to steal the sign,
but you took a picture of this and we will hang this.
I took a picture of the sign and we at least have the picture of the sign to hang in the studio.
We will hang this on our studio wall.
Your slat wall.
Our slat wall.
Yeah.
That's right, our pro slat wall, which is better than the amateur slat wall.
Well, thank you, Iyer Scott.
All right.
Well, that's closing remarks.
Are you putting the thing at the end of the pod?
Yeah, I'll throw that at the end.
Okay.
So for those who download the pod, you will hear Blake's comedy bit.
Or Blake's friend's comedy bit.
His bet payoff.
Or something.
Yep.
All right.
Adios, mofo.
We've got to go before this becomes a zoo.
Thank you for watching my video.
Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my videos.
Coming up is actually a brother down the line.
Do it for Reed.
Rambo!
Hey, good evening everyone. How's everyone doing tonight?
There's more coming after this one.
I just want to let you guys know a little bit about myself.
My name is Reed.
I'm here tonight for, you know, five minutes.
I'm going to be really short, sweet.
I promise this will be over quickly.
Whether you're satisfied or not, I can't promise, but at least one of us will be.
And that's coincidentally the same type of talk I give to my wife every night.
It works for her.
It's not as often as you think.
I am lucky, though.
I've been happily married for eight years.
She's even had me branded.
Eight years, not as much as 50, but we're working there.
I'm extremely lucky to be married.
I've outkicked my coverage.
My wife is way out of my league, okay?
And in case you can't tell, I am extremely white.
My wife, which, yes, thank you.
This guy was at the January 6th rally.
Oh, Okay.
Extremely white, as I've said,
which also means
white male contingent is the only
contingent that appreciates me for who I am
and that's just the truth. Sorry to say.
That
being said, I did marry an Asian
woman. She's extremely Asian.
So, mixed race couple.
Woohoo for us.
Also a mixed race couple. We've been married for eight years. She meets all the Asian stereotypes
you can think of. She's extremely smart. She played violin growing up and she's extremely
terrifying behind the wheel of a vehicle. I let her drive me here on the way, and we almost died three times,
and that was a successful trip in my book.
But, you know, my wife has been great.
She's given me one child, and we're probably going to stop at one.
Any parents in the house tonight?
Hell yeah, okay.
Well, my kid's a little toddler, which he's a three-nager.
That's what they call him these days.
Little hellacious cougar this guy is.
But he's the best thing that ever happened to me.
And for anyone who's not yet had a child, don't let any breeder tell you that now's the time.
It's the best thing that ever happened to you.
Just ignore that.
Move on with your life.
Enjoy yourself.
Please take it from me just go to
any brewery in the metroplex and you'll see parents trying to drink away their miseries
with little tornado children running around wreaking havoc on society seriously go to any
brewery that's that's exactly what you'll see um also my kid is now part of what they call
generation alpha i don't know if you're familiar with the generational monikers.
Generation Alpha, we went from Generation Z all the way to Alpha.
That's where we live now.
These kids were born after 2013.
It's going to be the laziest, fattest generation to have ever existed.
I'm confident of that.
If you've seen WALL-E, that's where we're headed.
These kids are all about screen time, high fructose corn syrup.
It's a dystopian future enjoy it while you're here uh before generation alpha like i mentioned that was generation z
uh any generation z floating around tonight thank god we should all be so lucky
the only good thing generation z has done is they have taken the crosshairs off of us millennials
i'm a millennial they're now the most hated generation. Exactly. Yes. Got some millennials in here. Good for us. These Generation
Z people, in fact, they're so hated. I have some older Gen Z friends. These Generation Z started
after the millennials. They go all the way up. Millennial goes to 1996. Starting in 1997,
that's Gen Z. Some of
these 1997-1998 babies that I know, they like to self-identify as Millennial
because they like to avoid all the hateful rhetoric going around, which is a
bunch of bullshit because I know for a fact they've never opened up a maps
quest and printed off the directions to where they're going. So it really doesn't matter
anyways, we live in the greatest state in the union.
I truly believe that.
Okay, yeah, I read the room.
I know where we are.
But the one thing is, no matter what they self-identify as,
I can rest easy knowing that they will never be able to pee in the same bathroom as me.
As the millennials.
Okay, yeah.
That was a little cerebral.
I'll workshop that one.
But anyway, so before Gen g and z was the millennials uh like i said that's where i am i'm 36 years old born in the 80s barely woohoo you
know i i claim that to my death um but as a millennial you know i i love avocado toast
i have crippling student debt and i got fucked in the financial crisis of 2008.
There we go. All right. Good for us. Um, but you know, uh, before that we had, if you're a
millennial, any other millennials in the house, we were typically birthed by the baby boomers,
baby boomers in the house. Okay. Yeah. All right. It's a little past your bedtime. That's okay. But anyways, these baby boomers, I mentioned earlier we had the laziest, fattest generation coming up.
The baby boomers are the dumbest generation.
It's the only generation that was willing to walk uphill both ways.
And for some reason, it was always in the winter.
They lived in a permanent winter.
I don't understand.
They didn't even know that the hill goes in two directions.
You can go back down. I skipped't understand. They didn't even know that the hill goes in two directions.
I skipped a generation in between. So I don't know if y'all know Gen X is the group in between millennials. Okay. All right. I skipped y'all because nobody gives a shit. Okay. So anyways,
you guys have been great. I really appreciate you tonight. I don't know what's coming up next, but I'm sure it's going to be a lot better than what you just sat through.
So, you guys, thank you.
Keep it going for Reed!
Rainbow, everybody!
Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah.
Let's keep the energy going up for our next...