The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 9-6-24: Show from Cleveland, Nick Wilson, Week 1 of DZ's Picks

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

To hear every episode of The Dumb Zone, subscribe to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneWe do our show from The Brothers Lounge in Cleveland, Ohio. We have travel stories for you because Dan has already fallen in love, Nick Wilson, the son of Big Jim Wilson, Dan's weight loss trainer from the William Pace Show, joins us, and it's the first edition of DZ's Picks with Sirois, Chappy, Akaash Singh, and Jasmine! (00:00) - Open (29:54) - We made it to Cleveland (53:50) - DZ's Picks: Week 1 (01:23:06) - Viewer Mail (01:36:46) - DZ peeps in Cleveland (01:43:27) - News (01:58:00) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you will get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain.

Now, on to today's program. Don't hug me. Fun times in Cleveland today, Cleveland. Come on down to Cleveland today, Cleveland! Come on down to Cleveland Town everyone! Come and look at both of our buildings! Buy some food that's prepared near the street! Who knows you might even see this guy!

You should come on down to West 6th Street! It's the perfect place if you're a douchebag! Watch the poor people all wait for buses who the fuck still uses a payphone Here's the place where they're used to be industry. This train is carrying jobs out of Cleveland Cleveland leads the nation and drifters. Here's a statue of Moses Cleveland. He's the guy who invented Cleveland yeah He's the guy who invented Cleveland, yeah! Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright

Clear the floor! Clear the floor! Clear the floor, baby! Cleveland! Cleveland! Cleveland! Cleveland! Do you notice the theme to today's show already? I do, yeah. I do.

We are in Cleveland. The land. How can you tell? Do you feel it? I can feel it. Do you feel it in the air? I can see it, and I can feel it.

We are dressed to be in Cleveland. We have people with us here in Cleveland. Let's... Yay! Cleveland. I feel economically depressed. I feel worn down by the weather, and I feel like I look 10 years older than I am. That's what Cleveland looks.

Anyway, we have plenty of people here. I want to introduce many of them. Okay. I know you've waited. You've wanted many years. You wanted to meet Rose. You have no idea. You're going to meet Rose today. My mom's

friend Rose. I do declare. But we got a tight 30 with a big time superstar because he's like, I got a call in a half hour, man. Anyway, we are broadcasting live to tape from the Brothers Lounge in Cleveland today.

I believe Monday we're going to attempt a live stream. If that's what you're interested in. But today, the Brothers Lounge, which is run by my brother, but they didn't name it that, and they also just don't really have a lot of black people here. I don't know why they call it the Brothers Lounge. The point is, none of that is the point.

The point is we have a superstar sitting right next to Jake. He is Cleveland Radio King, Nick Wilson. We're going to do double applause. Thank you. Thank you. We don't have to applaud that much. Yeah. Well, you brought the brothers to the Brothers Lounge.

Yes. Clearly. Yeah. Yeah. This is Nick Wilson. Now, we, many people here who are from Cleveland, they're very familiar with you because you are a local radio host. Sure.

And that's one of the reasons you have to run. Yep. It's because you have a local radio host. Sure. And that's one of the reasons you have to run. Yep. Is because you have an actual show. Yeah. I don't know that he's running anywhere. He doesn't look like a runner. Okay. That's going to be more of a slow jog.

All right. Stops and starts. He is a big man. Yeah. How old are you, Nick Wilson? I'm 38. 38? Oh.

Yeah. Same as Jake. Yeah. You guys have a lot in common. Nice. Just turned 38. 38? Oh, same as Jake. Yeah. You guys have a lot in common. Nice. Just turned 39. We're basically Eskimo brothers.

That's inappropriate. So. But not untrue. That's where you draw the line. As I said, Nick is a big man. But I once knew him as a big boy. As he is the son of an old friend of mine, Big Jim Wilson. Yeah. Wow.

I'm bigger than him. I won. Are you actually bigger than Big Jim? Okay. Which way? Just weight-wise. I've always described Big Jim as 300 pounds-ish. Yeah, there's a shade.

There's just a shade over 300 pounds. Bit of an awning, but yeah. I don't know. It's kind of. There's just a shade over 300 pounds. Bit of an awning, but yeah. I don't know. It's kind of like it's nice. It's like his weight is like usually about 350, and I like to just dance across that as if it were the Mendoza line. Yeah.

Okay, so he hit 350. Oh, dude, he hit four bills at one point. Yeah. The time that we – and we're about to review some of this, that Dan said, I think Big Jim was about 300. I said, boy, I think you're quite off there. Conservative guess. Yeah. Yeah, Big Jim I worked with in –

I could have a bad month and be 300. I don't believe that. That sounds like bullshit. Well, I weigh 200, right? Okay. So you weigh 200. Well, I'm just saying, like, I feel like Big Jim is a, was. May he rest in peace.

Bless up. Yeah. Big Jim's not alive anymore. Yeah. What's the deal with that? No, never mind. Go ahead, Jake. Finish your.

No, I just, I think it was knocking on four. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good guess. Anyway, he was very big. I worked with big jim in warren ohio i usually say youngstown just because people most everyone knows that well you've heard of youngstown more than warren i would believe just sounds more important but if

you uh if you live in that area it's known as the youngstown warren area kind of like dallas fort worth warren is the fort worth to youngstown. It's probably the same. Same thing. And you want an area that looks economically depressed, my friend. Let's head out to Warren, Ohio. But then, so you never lived in Warren because at that point, Big Jim started as an intern with me. He and his friend named Tommy Lowe they worked at a broadcast school or excuse me they went to a broadcast school in Akron I believe and him and his friend Tommy Lowe now Tommy Lowe was

blind so he had a blind friend and we had a blind intern and we would have the blind intern label our cuts and everything and we would always play like a you know we would introduce a Charles Nag label our cuts and everything. And we would always play like a, you know, we would introduce, hey, Charles Nagy of the Indians said this about last night's game. But then it was, you know. William Pace. It was just, yeah. It was always mislabeled and we'd yell at the blind intern.

Big Jim once, we had a hot dog contest there where the, we would have a local business won hot dogs for the whole office. Yeah. And so I was the program director of this tiny radio station. Amazing. So this office won a business of the week and they won hot dogs for the whole office. So it was like 50 hot dogs. And we once said to Big Jim, it was a Friday, you would win it, and we'd deliver it to your office.

And Big Jim said, I'll deliver it this week. So he and Tommy Lowe went to the hot dog place, got the 50 hot dogs. And Friday afternoon, we got a lot of complaints like, hey, we never got our hot dogs and um friday afternoon we got a lot of complaints like hey we never got our hot dogs and when we got to uh we we jump on the air monday morning at 6 a.m like hey big jim what you know what happened we had to go back and go give them uh he just picked up the hot dogs drove straight home with tommy lowe and ate them all. Well, okay. Because he was 450 pounds. So this is important. He had sympathy blindness. Do you know anything about that story?

Well, he had sympathy blindness because of Tommy Lowe. And so they shared glaucoma medication. And I think they just got confused. They absolutely shared glaucoma. In fact, I shared some of that medication with them. I might have found some and gotten my ass whooped for finding it. So, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Not by dad. It was mom who found it. And then dad gotten my ass whooped for finding it. So yeah. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Not by dad. It was mom who found it and then dad got his ass whooped too. Okay. And then Big Jim would end up when I got a job in Dayton. After a while, I was able to turn Big Jim on to the fact that, hey, we need a production director up here in Dayton. And so Big Jim got that job and he moved to Dayton. Now you probably moved there, right? Dayton. And so Big Jim got that job. And he moved to Dayton. Now you probably moved there, right? Yeah. And I did live in Warren for three months over summer where I was definitely the only young white kid.

And that definitely got my ass beat three times. Okay. And those were the only three times I walked outside the apartment. But that made you the man you are today. That is. I mean, 325 pounds? Yeah. Conservatively?

Yeah. The awning. Yeah. The awning is 325 pounds. Sure. The awning's another 75, yeah. So that leads us into the reason these guys are pretty fascinated with Big Jim. They don't care about you at all.

That's fair. They care about your dad. That makes sense. They care about your dad. That makes sense. Because I went with your dad on a local TV show. Cable access used to be a thing. And they would just kind of let anybody do a TV show on there. And there was a guy named William Pace that we would have glaucoma medication.

And then we would watch the William Pace show, which aired every night at midnight on this Dayton local cable station for Dayton. And it was just this fascinating show. He was this six foot four black man with crazy hair. He would wear a tuxedo. He was like a classically trained opera singer. But then he would do interviews. And for some reason, like, we were fascinated by him. So we would talk about him on our Dayton radio show.

And, you know, we booked him on the show. And then he booked me on the show. And I thought, well, I can't. I'm not that funny. I can't carry this. I'll invite the funniest guy I know with me. And that is Big Jim. Nice.

I believe had his story was like he was once on Star Search. Yeah. Yeah. He was a stand-up comedian. It's a big thing. It was the 1980s. Yeah. That was when cocaine was still big.

So yeah. Didn't appear to be working. That did factor into the Star Search appearance. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, we have some video here. Nice. I don't know if you've seen this before or not.

I suppose you can look at monitor if you'd like. But this is Dan's appearance with your pops on the William Pace Show. William, I wanted to talk a little weight loss. I mentioned that at the beginning of the show. And I'd like to introduce, you know Joe is my partner on the air. But one of the big guys. Did you inherit those pants? Yes, I did. you know Joe is my partner on the air but one of the big guys instrumental to our show off the air is Big Jim Wilson

he's our production guy and also very strange I was talking weight loss how would you describe your dad's shirt it's January I would say stretched out I would say stretched out.

I would say stretched out is a light. I love his pants. It's like these weird camo sweats. Ironically, also from the 80s and cocaine. Yeah. Okay. Post-Christmas, I'm wearing my big clothes. These are my big pants. This is my big fat shirt.

You know, it hangs over so you don't have to see the gut hanging out and everything. We have the camouflage thing. Is that that funny? And every year, every January, I'm trying a different weight loss thing. You know, I'm going through eating two ounces of chicken. Do you really have to watch your weight? Oh, yeah, for sure, baby. Do you have to watch?

I mean, like, you could probably eat, like, a pizza. I could eat a whole pie easily. Really? i mean i love eating i've always thought that if i ever had an eating disorder i could be a bulimic but i could never be anorexic because i have to eat you know what i mean what have you analyzed why you eat so much i've analyzed why i eat so much but really why what's what's the driving force of you eating so much i I've analyzed why I eat so much. Really? What's the driving force of you eating so much? I think because my parents were divorced when I was like eight years old. And I just started eating, eating, eating

ever since then. That was a hard time for you. Yeah, I believe that was. It was a psychological. I believe that weight loss has something to do with the psychological. Oh, for sure. You're eating to fill yourself for other things that are not in your life. Yeah.

You know? So here's the thing, though. Yeah. I have employed Big Jim here. He's my spiritual advisor and personal trainer. So and just for those just listening, because most people do that. Sure. You know, so I consider myself fairly overweight.

Can you just keep the video up um i'm pushing 250 there i'm i'm almost hitting it yeah uh big gym there we're establishing you think 400 oh that time yes sir okay so that was peak of glaucoma usage so yeah just so you know the the visual on the uh you know on the william pace show. William Pace, as I described already, big guy. He's interviewing both of us. I'm kind of a big guy, but I got a really, really big guy right next to me. Huge. Okay.

Pretty much weight loss consultant. Okay. Usually, you don't see a guy that looks like Big Jim to be a weight loss consultant. Are you a weight loss consultant? I am, William. I've developed a two-phase plan to help Dan, and I believe help others. Phase one of the plan, of course, is just hanging out with me. As Dan sits here now with me next to him, he appears thinner than he would if I weren't here.

Think about it. When you first were watching the show, you thought I was a little chunky, didn't you? But now what do I look like? Yeah, I'm a little more sassy. So that's the first part of the plan. You must seek and find someone larger than you. Jim, so he hangs with me all the time, which is a little weird during showers

and when my girlfriend comes over, but I don't mind it. It works out. Now, the second phase of the plan, is being eats at certain times in fact it's time to eat I bring here as Dan pulls a briefcase this by the way is this by the way is this briefcase before you open this up nice is this didn't hit here what what is it it's uh it is Dan's regimented meals yeah I have a little something I'm I have my lunch I brought my lunch every day I'm not a sandwich can you hold that for a second what kind of sandwich is it a turkey yeah really turkey. Really, though, here's the thing about my new diet. Does it have mustard on it?

How do you like that thing? Oh, this is more like for my diet. Yeah, here's the deal with my new diet, William. I think William liked that thing quite a bit. I can eat anything. Oh, a Bud Light. I can eat a banana. A lot of diets you've got to eat like an ounce of chicken

or you've got to eat this much rice. This diet, I eat anything eat anything pizza hamburgers whatever are you gonna pop the lid on the but light what's the rule on the beer the rule is you start the beer give it to him. Now, we have families watching the show, so I don't know. I think that's probably the money shots. Right, that's just a prop. That's for you after the show. How proud are you?

By the way, it totally made sense why you guys have me here today. Yeah, so the bit was that, I don't know, that he went on to explain that so anything I eat, he would just, so if I start eating a sandwich, he would grab like a bunch of, like he would eat most of what I ordered. Yeah. Yeah. So he would never spend money. You don't think it's a coincidence that I got to 350 after he died, right?

Oh, interesting. Yeah. I was like a quarter Ethiopian until he died. Yeah. Yeah. You no longer had someone to clean your plate for you. Yeah. Or just take the plate.

But how old were you then when you said, were you in studio with us in Dayton ever? Yeah. I know I interacted with you, but I didn't remember if we did it on the air. Yeah, the dude would bring me, he'd wake me up, he'd get me out of school.

It'd be like five in the morning. He'd give me a three liter thing of cola, whatever it was, whatever the knockoff was, and It'd be like five in the morning. He'd give me a three liter thing of cola, whatever it was, whatever the knockoff was. And I just sit there chugging and I get ramped up and you guys would be like, all right, I think he's ready.

Okay. And I get like a five minute burst out and power down. You guys go back to do the show as it were. And then I get more of the cola in me and the sugar and the diabetes and then bring it back up. And you know, so like, like five minutes stretches across four hours,

probably 15 minutes the whole show. Maybe the best radio you guys have done. But did you say that we kicked you out of the studio or something happened? No. In Dayton, I did the unforgivable thing. One of the things you're not supposed to do is shout out people on the radio.

It's hack. Well, I was 12 and didn't know that, and so I called into Dan's show and I had a real opinion. And Dan let me have my opinion. I was like, cool, I'm going to push the limit. And I was like, I just want to shout out. And before I could finish the word out, I was off the air. And for 12 years, I MF'd you in my head.

And then every moment since I've gotten a show, I've been like, I think he was right. Yeah. He was in the right there. Trust trust him yeah yeah so we learned a lesson there yeah no I learned to hang up on little kids because I was a fan of Pete Franklin who hung up on me yep multiple times when I tried calling his radio show and somebody probably did it to Pete Franklin back you know in the 50s yeah when yeah that sounded personal I didn't mean it personally as it sounded. I just meant Pete was old, not you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So then you end up, like, how did you get, so now you're a sports talk guy in Cleveland? Yeah, yeah. So I just, I kind of washed out of radio at 24. Okay. Like so many do. And then one day there was this whisper in the wind

that there was a, finally an FM sports talk station going up. And I did not get the job. Any of them. They had 24 jobs. I got none of them. But like, so basically I was like,

Oh, well, I mean, I have a kid now. I guess I better go do corporate things. I bet I get, I better go get a real job. Yeah.

And three weeks later I got a call and then I became the world's worst board op and then they promoted me to world's worst 2020 guy and then I became world's worst reporter and now I am the world's worst

afternoon drive show host. Look at this. Yeah. You can fail up, folks. This is America. Trust me. Now, where can people find you? I know.

Well, I mean... What is it? 92.3? Oh, yeah. I thought we were... Yeah, 92.3? Oh, yeah. I thought we were... 92.3. Yeah. I don't know if you want to give your address out. He didn't need to drop your physical location. I didn't know if he wanted me to drop the pin.

That's a big thing these days. Kids are doing it. The kids are doing it. So, yeah. Sweet, man. Out of the Browns. They suck? No, I don't think so. Are you on board with Deshaun Watson? What does that mean? Because I'm a... Happy baby pose? Yeah. Like, am I going places with him? No, I don't think so. Are you on board with Deshaun Watson? What does that mean? Because I'm a... Happy baby pose?

Yeah. Like, am I going places with him? No, just on board with them acquiring him. Like, I'm a Baker fan. Uh-huh. And I thought, I just thought the Hall, you know, I don't know if that's... What were we debating the other day? The worst NFL trade.

It was the Bryce Young trade. We trade. It was the Bryce Young trade. We think maybe it's the Bryce Young trade. Have the statute of limitations on Herschel run out? Because that really is the worst trade in history. I'm sorry. Train robbery. Yeah. Yeah.

But Bryce Young's up there. Bryce Young's up there. Yeah. The Deshaun thing will be if this goes the way the last two years. That's where it'll be. Yeah. But, I mean, even now, the fact that it's gone that way for two years. Like, you've had a pretty good base, and you thought, I'm a quarterback away.

Yeah. And then you kind of got rid of it. There's still a quarterback away. Yeah. So, I mean, the thing with Deshaun is, I think everybody just lumps the two years together. This is a very low bar. So two years ago,

he comes in, he plays in a system that does not fit him, and he just objectively sucked for six games. But then last year, he came back, and he actually gave, like, three or four good performances. It just wasn't 20-20 Deshaun, and then the shoulder. Like, there was a moment. Dan, there was finally a moment, because I'm a Baker bro, too.

And there was a moment. That's there was finally a moment because I'm a Baker bro too. And there was a moment. That's what they say. Yeah, Baker bro. There was a moment where in that Baltimore game, 14 of 14, they come back, beat Baltimore on the road. And it's the first time I ever thought, maybe it'll work out. And I got a Monday show where I could just be like, is it? Should we talk Super Bowl now?

And then Tuesday at 1.59, my show starts at 2, 1.59, Deshaun out for the season, has a shoulder injury, and has to have surgery. So I got two quarters and a Monday

to believe in it. Now the difference is the Browns at no point in the last two years have done anything to put the guy in a system like he was in Houston

with spread concepts. They claim to be doing that now. Okay. So that's the new... Out of necessity because Nick Chubb got hurt and... Yeah. Well, and I think they realize maybe we spent $230 million in six top 100 picks. Maybe we should do everything we can to make this guy work out.

Yeah. Yeah. So after a couple of years, we've come to that realization. Yeah. Well, it's like after the first heart attack, you lose 100 pounds. That's how So after a couple years, we've come to that realization. Yeah. Well, it's like after the first heart attack, you lose 100 pounds. That's how it goes. That's where we are with Deshaun. This is after the first.

Yeah. So can you roll through? I wanted to do this a couple years ago. The quarterbacks? Yeah. I never did memorize them. I did memorize all the Major League Baseball managers for fun. Uh-huh.

But I always wanted to memorize, like, every quarterback since the New Browns. Oh. I can give it a go. Can you do it? I mean, it's like 38 quarterbacks, 39. I can probably give you 30. Okay. Tim Couch, Spurgeon Wynn, Doug Peterson, Kelly Holcomb, Luke McCown.

Did I say Kelly Holcomb? Yeah. Jeff Garcia. You're already doubling up after six? Yeah. Go ahead. It's how my brain works. Trent Dilfer, Derek Anderson, Charlie Fry, Bruce Gradkowski, Colt McCoy.

I'm missing somebody. Brady Quinn. Oh, damn. We got 12 and now we stalled. Yeah. I'm killing the bit on air. Hoya. Hoya. Oh, damn. We got 12 and now we stalled. Yeah. I'm killing the bit on air. Hoya. Hoya.

Oh, Brian Hoya. Thank you for the cheat. For sure. Johnny Manziel. Yeah. God, they all suck. Can I just stop now? Are you just trying to kill me?

Ken Dorsey, Seneca Wallace. No, stop. Stop, please. No more. I've heard. Oh, no. Continue. Connor Shaw gave you a good game.

He had a day. And then one of these guys finally brings them to the playoffs and actually wins a playoff game. Yeah. And then that's the guy we're going to get rid of. You know why, right? Just because he got a beach in the parking lot of the Cheesecake Factory? That actually gets you promoted around here.

Okay. Yeah, that's like the coronation spot. All right. No, it's because he was too big of a personality for Kevin Stefanski. Interesting. Speaking of, are you married? Yeah. Does your wife think Kevin Stefanski is hot?

Yeah. She said the word hottie patottie once, and I almost left her. Yeah, I would never use that word. Yeah. I don't know that my wife would either, but she's very into Kevin Stefanski. Yeah. Yeah. And he's kind of thick. that word. I don't know that my wife would either, but she's very into Kevin Stefanski. And he's kind of thick, so I feel like I could put on a little bit of weight and still be Kevin Stefanski

hot. You're sitting next to a damn near 400-pound man, and you just called Kevin Stefanski. I'm doing the big gym thing. Kevin Stefanski is not thick. Kevin Stefanski could use at least double cheeseburgers today just to beef him up a little bit. I object at that.

That contention. Noted. Well, how are we doing this year? We need the Cowboys to win because I have a sizable amount I could profit off of if the Cowboys start the season 5-0. Like how sizable?

He doesn't know what sizable means. We're talking four figs. Okay. That's what I'll win. The payout. Yeah, I didn't put four figs on it. Oh, well, what'd you put up? Because that's really what it's about, how much you're going to lose.

Three figs. Okay. Probably $100. Okay. Hey, get off my ass. Yeah, that's a lot of figs for some people. It's way more figs than this guy sitting next to me. It's a lot of figs for some people. It's way more figs than this guy sitting next to me. It's a lot of figs for a podcast host.

Yeah. I won big last night. I wouldn't count on it. You won less than you put up. You're saying the Browns. You like the Browns. I actually really like the Browns in this game. They are favored by two and a half.

I feel frustrated for Cowboys fans. I thought you had the biggest dog shit offseason that I've seen in a long time. That's true, but I just thought what you just did kind of shows us why we should not be so quick to get rid of Dak. And none of our players raped anybody yet. Yeah, you know, not that we know.

And by the way, I believe that was the 90s. But yeah, you don't want to get rid of Dak, and I know you're a proponent of Dak sucks and everything, and I'm kind of there with you, but just remember the years of Quincy Carter and Chad Hutchinson. I mean, the list he just reeled off. Now, if it gets you, Baker in the end. We need a clockwork orange moment for him that every time he says Dak sucks,

you just pin the eyes open, and he has to read off the whole list of quarterbacks. Yeah. Yeah. Or rewatch this. And once you get to – where did I get? I got to like Derek Anderson in Tapped Out. Yeah.

That's right about where you'll be like, I guess Dak isn't that bad. Yeah. I guess we'll take, you know, nine and eight. Or the fact that they've won 12 games each of the last three seasons, but that's – who's counting? Are we salty about me saying they had a dog shit off season? I'm just saying. It seems like you're salty about that.

Derek Anderson and Dak won the same amount of playoff games last year. Ouch. I'd like to point out, I did not say it out of judgment for Cowboys fans. Alright? I said it out of judgment. Don't you have somewhere to be? Nope. I still got two minutes. I said it out of judgment of Jerry Jones,

who decided this dumbass idea of we're going to have a lame duck quarterback and lame duck head coach. Not smart. That's what I'm offended on behalf of Cowboy fans, that they cut everybody any of you ever liked, except Dak and C.D. Lamb and Micah Parsons, and like two other guys. I just didn't want to say their names again.

Cut for time. But that they did that. We don't have to do that. But now we do. But no, that they did that and then they're like, well, I guess you're going to have to play your way into $65 million. Okay. Let's talk to the Washington whatever the hell we're going to call him today's

after Kirk Cousins went away. He won't do it. Are you against the Indians changing their name? No. I don't care. Okay. So you don't care. He won't do it. Are you against the Indians changing their name? No. I don't care. Oh, okay. So you don't care. You're apathetic.

You're not like, I need them to change the name because I was offended. I did the 23andMe. 0% Native American. Okay. Yeah. So you're very pro-Chief Wahoo. You'd like to see that logo. I'm Switzerland, baby.

Okay. How do you do that 23andMe test? Well, there's a couple ways, but we'll swap. Jake thought you had to jerk it and put it in the cup. I did that too, but that was just for good measure. I misunderstood the process.

And he sent that in. Yeah. They were like, you're a criminal. Got a restraining order. Yeah. If they had a problem with that, you're a criminal. Got a restraining order. Yeah. If they had a problem with that, that's on them. I know. That's what I'm saying.

That's called going above and beyond. That's over delivering. He was just used to doing it for the IVF or whatever. I'll be honest with you. I have a friend going through IVF and he's like, oh, man, found out. You know, just had drawn, and now I found out I also have to do that in a cup. And I was like, that's the thing you're bitching about? Yeah. Not them sticking you with a needle?

Well, it's weird. I was like, that would be like... It's pretty uncomfortable. It's just a weird process when you go into this cold room. It was so uncomfortable that I wasn't able to do it in 10 seconds. I don't have that problem. Yeah. That's called being efficient.

Yeah. Yeah, no, it's not comfortable. I don't have that problem. Yeah. It's called being efficient. Yeah. No, it's not comfortable. Well, how about this? Next time you go, I'll fly down. Well, I don't plan on going back. Are you going to jerk me off or something? No, no, no, no.

You'll be in one corner. I'll be in another. Okay. It's like accountability buddies. Okay. Yeah. But it'll be like a competition. It'll take your mind off it of who completes that act first.

Why would that help me? Why would it not help you? Good point. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the great Nick Wilson. Thank you. I want you to look up friendship. I know you have a big sponsor call to get on. Boy, remember sponsor calls?

Weren't those the days? They have not gone away. Maybe they have for some of us, but we still do them. Anyway. All right. Thanks, man. Bye, guys. Appreciate it.

Everybody listen to Nick. Listen to Nick. Help his ratings. Tell a friend. Ratings are fake. Says those who don't get ratings. All right. Now, let me just promote what we have coming up on today's program.

We will talk football. Let me take a look here at the run sheet. Oh, we're going to actually do some picks with Chappy and friends. I don't know how we feel about that at this point. We'll have one or two of them. We at least have one friend. Yeah. But for the year, we have contracted quite a few people to be a part of PICS,

and we're just having a little rough start. But that's the way we do things around here. We try to get – the point is you lower the bar a lot, and then you can make sure you can get better a little bit better every day. Sure. That is the reason I got bad grades in high school. I want to tell my mom that now. She's in the crowd here.

So we'll do picks. We also have, oh, last night's game to talk about a little bit. We might talk about our schedule release. And if we're able to do it, Jake wanted to have Rose review a recent movie. Because Rose is my mom's friend who goes to movies with her. And Rose is here today. Yeah, I mean, mostly I just wanted to get your thoughts on this assassination attempt. You know, I mean.

Well, we can do that as well. No one laughed. Was it staged? But let's talk just a little bit about our trip. Because we did have a trip. I think we'll do pics in about five or ten minutes, maybe ten or fifteen. Let's go with that. Have you guys noticed that someone clearly crashed into the front of that house? The Airbnb we're in?

Yeah. Why? Really? Why is there that guardrail there? I don't know. Yeah, have you noticed that? It was like a highway guardrail. In front of a relatively suburban looking home.

There's a guardrail there. I just thought that was Cleveland. That's how they decorate. But it's not in front of any of the other houses. And that's not a decoration. Unique. It's just strange to me. Is that why the floor is slanted?

There are some tricky floors. There are some tricky floors. There are some tricky floors. When we got on the flight, did you notice Captain was Bit Guy? Oh, my God. Immediately. I think you said something like... I know what he said. What?

You know, I'll be your pilot, you know, today for this flight. My co-star today is this guy. Called him a co-star. Yeah. So you know right away we're in deep trouble. We're going to do bits. He also had to make sure we knew it wasn't his fault. Yeah, the timing.

That when we landed, hey, he said it real specifically. We told them down to the minute when we would be here. Yeah. Yet they don't have our landing something ready. So that's why you're sitting out on the runway. It's the crew's fault, always. So that way I still tipped him. Why don't we tip a pilot?

Because they make enough? We're going to tip this lady who brought me this water. They don't make that much, dog. Pilots? No. What do you think? 70? 60?

That's bad. Up? Way up? do you think? 70? 60? That's bad. Up? Way up? Are you sure? Like a commercial? I'll get to the bottom of this. Piloting the larger jets pays approximately $120,000. You know how many figs that is?

I'm seeing here in Ohio 76. I mean, it's good. It's just not... I don't know that it's tip-worthy. Jake stopped and got a shoe shine. And he only... That did not happen, but I definitely thought about it.

No, the point is that that's like the most uncomfortable profession, I think. It feels highly racist. Like I absolutely could not. Number one, if I ever wore shoes that needed shining, I don't think I could ever do that. I told you the one time I went to get a, what is it called? Pedicure. Yeah.

I felt very. I'm very surprised you did that. Well, it was like with, I think, the wife and kids. It was like a Christmas thing. Hey, let's all go get a pedicure. Okay. Sounds good. Everybody does it.

I've heard about it for years. Oh, dudes do it. You've heard about it for years. Yeah, like dudes that'll get a pedicure. I'm like, okay. I did it Saturday. There you go. Yeah. But just that'll get a pedicure. I'm like, okay. I did it Saturday. There you go. Yeah.

But just to have a tiny little Vietnamese woman just tending to my feet just felt very There are not a lot of Garys. Yeah, not a lot of dudes. In the toe space. And the shoeshine guy is always. He's always black. Always black. 70. Yeah. the nicest guy scraping by yeah no i just can't do it but it's a good point though as far as tipping pilots i

i can see that they make a lot but they also have like your life in their hands yeah that's what i mean yeah so i could see tossing him a 20. The guy who parked my car is we send him money, but yeah. Anyway. The real heroes, Jake. That's right. The pilots. Let him be funny, Blake. Get off his ass a little bit. Do your job. Be quiet.

Blake is a guy who likes to be quiet. Yes. I've noticed that. If you hang out with Blake, he's not likes to be quiet yes I've noticed that if you hang out with Blake he's not going to be a conversation starter he will like famously

you could drive with Mike Reiner and he's not going to bring up stuff and you might end up in it like Blake if you drove somewhere with Mike Reiner for a half hour is there a chance not a word would be said? That has definitely happened. Okay, because I will get... I'm not an

uncomfortable silence guy, but I will start talking and just say, you know, just try to... Just so it's not awkward. Have a little something to say. Yeah, I rode back from the airport to the Airbnb with Blake and Rob, and I don't believe one word was said. Nope. And there were multiple times where I was like, I should probably jump in here.

Yeah. No, I always do. I have a funny thought. But then I knew that both of them would be like, eh. Well, Rob's talk guy. Rob will make friends with you. But my point is here that so we got on the rental car bus, which in Cleveland you land, and they don't have the rental cars right at the airport.

You have to take a bus. Bad bit. That was how it was when I went to Madrid. It's like a 15-minute drive. They call Cleveland the Madrid of the Midwest. It's widely known as that. Yes, that's true. But Blake made a friend and it took like 10 minutes

and it's like a 20-minute drive. Do you hit that? So we're on it. It was a dude. And it was all because Blake was wearing an Argyle hat. Oh, my God. So I typically just will wear TCU stuff or Argyle stuff because, you know, it's in my closet and I got it for free. I don't think much about it.

But it is a conversation starter. So I think I'm going to have to just go to like the plain shirt. That's why I went to black t-shirt guy. Hold on. Why in the world would an Argyle t-shirt be a conversation starter? It's not like you're walking around holding a Grammy. Well, but this guy is like, hey. Who cares?

This guy's like, hey, you from there? And so then we start talking. And then all of a sudden he's like, I found out. So this is all secondhand. I found out he's from hazlet yep okay i found out traffic is difficult in hazlet how is it in argyle and so then okay now i can't explain to him well i actually live somewhere else i just work for i can't do all of that yeah So then I'm just like, oh, man, traffic sucks. I found out Jerry Jones bought land near Dion in Prosper. Yep. So, yeah.

You guys are – I was surprised you didn't exchange numbers. I'm a nice person. I don't want to be talked to, but if you talk to me, I'll entertain you. You'll throw it back. And then I threw something in the conversation for you because I knew you were eavesdropping. Oh, go ahead. He starts telling me about how-

It was the Prosper, right? Prosper has really grown. And so I just hit him with, you know, it used to be a field. Yeah. No, no, I held up my lighter. I started cheering and he's like, what are you doing? And it always gets the same response. They're like, yeah, sure was.

No, yeah. They're not like thinking that's a bit. He just had them eating out of my hand. Fair enough. Let's see. Something you guys don't know. Oh, Jake's weird. So we got two rental cars because I might need to break off from you guys a little bit.

So I rented the car on my own dime don't get up my ass because you know I have like a mom and friends here and I might need to break off and go see them so first of all I went to Avis I I do usually do Hertz but since it was my own dime I really researched it and Avis was was money, so I don't recommend that. I've always liked my Hertz experience a little more. So I'm at the counter. I got to wait in line, and I'm at the counter, and I think I fell in love with the Avis checkout girl.

She's awesome. Day one? You can't fall in love with every girl we travel and see. Dude, she's incredible. There was the girl in Flagstaff that made a sandwich. Yep. I think she would be upper half of the girl in Flagstaff that made a sandwich. Yep. I think she would be upper half of the 10-point scale in Dallas, too. He was falling in love with the Airbnb host in California

because she emailed nicely. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. She was great. I'm over her. You're lucky that moved on. No, no, no. I'm lucky that bartender last time isn't here.

When she confirmed my phone number, she kind of looked at me, and I thought, oh, she wants my phone number. She got it. Yes. So why would she? Just anxiously waiting? She's not texting. Well, do you still block the random numbers?

You need to turn that off. That might have been what it is, yeah. That's why she hasn't called yet. Oh, okay. Damn it. I got to unblock that. Yeah. Oh, no, but here's where Jake is weird.

So you and Rob were like, hey, we're going to take one vehicle. They start walking towards Hertz. Yeah. And Jake points over at, or Rob points at Jake, who's sitting over there behind the thing, and he's like, yeah, don't forget to take him. And I'm like, yeah, don't forget to take him. And I'm like, yeah, okay. I got Jake.

And so then I get my rental. You know, a lot of sparks flying between me and the lady at the counter. And then we go out. I'm going out, and I'm looking for Jake. He's not there, and I call him. And he's in the car with you guys, heading to the house. Yeah.

Like, who leaves their one buddy to just drive alone? I wanted a friend. I'm sorry, pal. And that's what you said. You're like, oh, I'm sorry, buddy. Like, condescendingly. Nah, that was legitimate. Why would you go drive with these guys?

Emotion. You want me to be alone? The line looked pretty long for you. It was. It looked like a long line. They already had a car. I'm sorry, dude. You were flirting for 10 minutes.

Yeah, you were playing groundwork. I didn't initiate it. She was initiating it. You'll flirt back. She knew this guy's got it going. Got it going? Yeah. Somehow, even though it was like a 15-minute drive,

and I have Apple Maps, and this is my hometown. I've been to that airport a million times. I was bragging almost when we were walking towards the rental cars. I'm like, it's a bus. Yeah, you know. He was very cocky about it. I do everything. I'll teach you guys about Cleveland. I'm going to teach you guys about this and that.

Well, I got lost on the way to the – if you wondered why it took me a little extra long. It wasn't just flirting. So he made the right decision. I took the wrong – I ended up like in the east side of Cleveland, and I had to turn around, and I don't know. And I have effing maps. I actually asked him this morning. I was like, hey, do you recognize where we are?

Because it seems like you're lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he's holding his phone. Dan does this thing. He holds his phone while he drives. So I can see where we're going. I guess. But he has like the map lady at maximum volume.

That drove me up a wall. I can't fucking stand it. He has it at maximum volume. Well, why don't you do what he did? He turned it off and said, I'll navigate for you, and then he did. Whereas you're sitting over there just complaining and not looking for a solution. I didn't complain at the time. This guy's a solution guy.

Solution guy. Okay. guy's a solution guy. Solution guy. Okay. He's a solution guy. We have like four more days together. That's all right. I'm going to find that girl. I believe in you. I truly do.

And then the Airbnb, I picked it because I'm from here. I know we're a local. Clearly, you know what their nice parts of town are. It's a rough area, but I did say I wanted to. It's Ohio City. If you're from Cleveland, you might be like, oh, you're staying in Ohio City. It's not bad. It's just I could.

If you wanted to buy some crack. I could easily sell drugs there buy some I could easily crack I could easily sell drugs there yeah easily um it's kind of close to the stadium

and it's kind of close to the brothers lounge like not it's in between them both it's the taint of the stadium

fair enough and the brothers lounge fair enough pick which one the brothers lounge is yeah and yeah so that's where we're staying um Of the stadium. Fair enough. And the Brothers Lounge. Fair enough. Pick which one the Brothers Lounge is. Yeah. And yeah, so that's where we're staying. The pictures looked exactly like our California Airbnb, which I picked.

And remember how everybody cheered me and held me up and hip hip hoorayed me. Yeah, go Dan. Nobody bets a thousand. Yeah, there was a lot of pennants. You got Dan pennants made and we were carrying them around. I swear to God, the pictures look really good. But it's kind of like a lot. What did I say last night?

You could have used some Blake's dating tips. What he does on the dating app. Sunglasses on the Airbnb. Yeah, somehow. He was put next to a nice house yeah we have to look at the pit like the angle they had like made that living room look enormous and comfortable and it was anything but and in fact they were holding the camera just slightly this way to make it look like it's a straight floor that's big um i do want to be congratulated for giving blake the. That was nice of you.

Wait, I don't even... You didn't sleep in the bedroom? No. He slept on the couch. Oh, wow. See, I thought he was just lazy in not taking his clothes to the bedroom. No, I slept on the couch. Because when I get to an Airbnb or a hotel,

I immediately try to make my room look as close as I can to home. I mean, that's what I would normally do, but in this situation, I was just trying to be considerate, you know, because last time he stayed on a couch. Now, that couch, to be fair, was in its own, like, separate apartment. I'm out there in the middle of the

shit. You're in the living room, yeah. But it does look like a comfy couch. It does. More so than his, because he couldn't even fit on his. It's not bad. Yeah, you're in he couldn't even fit on his. It's not bad. Yeah, you're in a living room and not a garage. And I did it for a week and a half. Oh, okay. So somehow we're trying to outkind each other.

I'm just saying you got a little ways to go before you catch me. Yeah. He's right, you know. You're welcome, I guess. I don't know. Otherwise, any other complaints about the Airbnb? Are we good? I think just getting to the airport, getting the Airbnb today,

I've said to myself at least 15 times, man, that is so Cleveland. Just the way things look, the layout. Like I told you last night, everything is just mushed together. There are no neighborhoods or here's the business area like it is just all like in a giant circle so compared to dallas yeah where you can be like i'm gonna go here and it's way away from all the houses yeah yeah but just right down the road hey the like the grocery store is just right in the middle of everything yeah it was all it used to all be a field i like I like it here quite a bit. Do you?

Yeah, I really do. I feel like this fits my vibe. Why don't you marry it? Well, okay. It just feels dirty. And I think that is kind of my affect. Yeah, well, there's a film over everything. You know, it's just the rust belt, right, there's a film over everything. There's, you know, it's just,

it's the Rust Belt, right? That's what they call it. It's just... I thought it was the Madrid of the Midwest. Well, yeah. That's right. That's Madrid, very rusty as well.

You haven't been there. That's true. Yeah. All right, well, anyway, we will broadcast here Monday as well. Got a big game Sunday. Yeah, we got the whole weekend.

Yeah, our big weekend is show today. Tomorrow, unknown, question mark. Might do some bits. Yeah. We're thinking of... I think I have a date with this young lady

over here tomorrow. Oh yeah, Rose? We're thinking of driving to my childhood home. Which, as there's a guy back there who like a year ago emailed or maybe Twittered me a picture of my childhood home, himself standing in front of it. And I was like, damn, you're a stalker, bro. He said, I've mentioned the address on the air many times over the years, 27470 Delwood Drive. That is where I grew up.

And if you want to know where we're going to be tomorrow and anybody wants to stake it out. If you want to stalk somebody's house. We may be there and knocking on the door and seeing if they'll let me go see my bedroom where all the action happened. You can see the hole in the wall that you punched when you once punched a hole in the wall i believe over vacation uh over something i don't know um i'm sure it was very important yeah uh but yeah so that's what we're doing and then yeah

we got the game on sunday where i will be breaking off from you guys because i'm going to be going in the play-by-play booth the the Spanish play-by-play that they bury in the end zone, which is good if Miles Garrett takes off somebody's helmet and tries to kill him. Los Morenos. What do they call them? You're going to the game. I am. And I think these two are just going to

kind of walk around and hang out and just enjoy everything that is Cleveland. Enjoy Cleveland. And then Monday we'll do a show here again at the Brothers Lounge in Cleveland, which is managed by my brother,

but that's not why they named it that. Okay. All right. We should take a break and then we're going to attempt to pick some football games.

The Dunzo. The Dunzo. The Dunzo. You don't become the first podcast in the world to get invited to Cowboys training camp by going against the grain. Most radio stations and podcasts make the bold claim of not being in the owner's back pocket. claim of not being in the owner's back pocket. But you don't stack paper and roll on 24-inch chrome by bucking the system. Yeah, I mean, you just look at the way things stack up for them.

5-0 out of the gate seems like a given run to your bookie. Leave big sports credibility and hot Cowboys opinions for your old man. And the playoffs, what are the playoffs? It's one game. It's the bounce of the ball. The luck just hasn't been on their side when it comes to the playoffs. They're right there. They're due.

This is the year. The Dumb Zone is here to give the fans what they need and the owners what they want. One more thing about SoFi versus AT&T. SoFi, you know, had like this little pond and all these parks, and it's really clean, really nice looking. I like that AT&T Stadium is right next to a Walmart and a Raising Cane's. Our Cowboys takes aren't filtered through common sense

and critical thinking. That's just down home America. They come from the mouth with a silver and blue cock planted firmly in its cheek. Yeah. Helping local commerce. Yeah. That's what you get from America's team. The Dumb Zone and the Dallas Cowboys. This is the year.

This is the year. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. Yes, indeed. So we're about to do some picks, Jake. Shall we promote? Not promote. Let me just ask, do we have a sponsor?

That feels like a Blake question. Okay, it feels like a question. You're looking at the run sheet. I can see your thing on there. We do, in fact, have a sponsor. It's DraftKings, Dan. That's what I wanted to lead you into. Tell us about DraftKings. You can download the new

DraftKings Pick 6 app now. Like, right now. Well, I mean, you're not going to hear this until later. So, I'm saying now, but you know, you can do it whenever you want. And you can use the code DUMZONE. DUMZONE.

That'll work for new customers to play $5 and get $50 in Pick 6 credits that is guaranteed plus one month of NFL Plus premium. Yeah, if you think Dak will throw for more than 300 yards or maybe somebody's going to score a touchdown, just check out their pick six. It's the newest way to compete against others and play fantasy football. Win cash with DraftKings.

So pick a player. Decide if they'll have more or less of a stat like yards, touchdowns, catches. And if you get that pick right, you win actual cash. Yeah, and, you know, just yesterday I downloaded the Pick 6 app and put over 200 on Zeke. Okay. What? I might bang theke. Okay. What? What?

I might bang the under. Yeah. But we're not here to tell you what to do, just to tell you that you can do it. How to do it. Yeah, so you go to DraftKings, go to the Pick 6 app. The code is DUMZONE, where you can play for $5, get $50 in credits guaranteed, plus one month of NFL Plus Premium on DraftKings.

This offer will expire on the 19th, on September 10th. So go to the DraftKings Pick 6 app, DumbZone, all one word. Yes, sir. And... Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Help is available for problem gambling. zone. All one word. And... Can I read that for next time? That was succinct. We don't make the rules. We follow them.

You know what? That's what people say about us. Anyway, it's time to pick games, folks. It is the NFL season is upon us. It is. Football is in the air. We are feeling football. That's why we're here in Cleveland today.

We're here for football weekend. And let's actually pick some games. Joining us this year. Last year we were pretty sporadic. The early stages of whatever we're doing here. And so that's why we'll welcome him first. He is a guy who we always talk to when we pick games. He moved to Vegas just to bet on games back when gambling

wasn't so prevalent. Like seriously. He moved from DFW to Vegas because he just loved gambling so much. And then his loser son had a kid and he had to move back to DFW so he could be an attentive grandfather.

Yeah. He is Chappy Kemp. Mm-hmm. Greg Kemp. Hello there, man. How are you? Hi, Chappy. Chappy.

Hi, son. With the technology to join us. Yes, sir. Right here, front row and present. How's the house sales market going these days? It's going a little slow. Okay. I know you're there. And as I see each piece of lumber being constructed on that slab of that other place,

it's not quite as joyful to watch it being built. Dad, are you holding a pencil? Can you see that? Well, I mean, I could. Yeah. No, I think I was banging it on the desk. Those are old habits. Yeah.

Who's using pencils? Oh, my Lord. I've got a Pentel number 9 millimeter that goes with me everywhere. Show the class. What's it look like? Okay. So you don't have to sharpen it. If you will notice, this is

a deluxe model, my friends. This is not just your standard variety. Where'd you steal it? Well, you know, this set me back almost $12, Dan. Okay, I just figured you're not a guy who would spend money on a pencil. Well, you know, this set me back almost $12, Dan. Okay, I just figured you're not a guy who would spend money on a pencil. Well, actually, one of them I took off of my accountant's desk two weeks ago.

Of course you did. He did not see that. Fantastic. Those are a big, big play of my everyday work. Love it. All right. Well, also joining us this year to pick games, we have, I don't know, what do we call her, our promotions programming director? I don't know.

We work with her. She is Jasmine. We've had her on the show plenty of times. And she is Jasmine Sadry. We know her well. I am. I'm head of HR. Head of HR. That's right. Yep. So I feel

chappy. We had to get a hot as head of HR. Look at there. On the pencil game, Chappy, I have a Velocity, I think this is a 2.0 model. I'm a pencil nerd too, so Chappy, I feel you. I can see it. Have you a pencil nerd, too. So, Chappie, I feel you. I can see it. Have you ever done the pencil test, Jasmine?

Oh, that might mean something different in my neck of the woods. Yeah, for ladies, from what I understand, the pencil test to determine should you or should you not wear a bra. What? Oh, that pencil test. Oh, I was thinking something else. Yeah, you know what to do with the pencil, right? Yes, I do know what to do with the pencil, Dan. You put it under your boob, and if it falls down, you're good to go no bra.

Yeah. But if the boob flops over it and holds that pencil. Yep. Yeah. You need a bra. How did you know that, by the way? Because my wife now, I gave her the dumbbell test. We can put a... Oh, no.

Dan McDowell. That thing sticks right there. It's amazing. Oh, my God. Yeah, I know a lot about ladies. I got two daughters. You do know a lot about ladies. I got two daughters. You do. You do know a lot about ladies. That is in fact true.

Also joining us to pick games this year is Mike Soroy, but he had an actual personal family thing going on, so he cannot join us, but he will be joining us on a weekly basis. The great Mike Soroy. If people have wondered, hey, where is Mike Soroy? Hey, why don't you guys get Soroy on? We actually tried today.

He's got some stuff going on and we couldn't get him on, but he did send his pics and his love. Oh. Which is the most important thing. Yes. Love is really all there is. Sure.

And joining us to provide some real superstar power from internet. You know him from our court transcripts. He's the great Akash Singh. Yes, sir. He is a great Akash Singh. Yes, sir. He is a world-famous comedian. Search him on YouTube. Dude, I used to listen to this all the time on the ticket, and I remember thinking,

I would really love to be a part of that if I can just get two guys to quit the station and get sued. Yeah. Well, you helped. You were part of the convincing. Glad I could do it. Yeah, we, you, you helped. You were a part of the convincing. Glad I could do it. Yeah. We're still waiting for everything.

All the flower, the, the glorious world that you promised out here, but we're, we're, we're working on it and you've done anything. You can't everything you can do at least help us get there. Well,

thank you. So thanks for joining us. Uh, where are you? I'm in Las Vegas. Actually. I'm in Las Vegas, actually. I'm in Chappie's old stamping grounds. Why?

I got shows today and tomorrow, and then I forgot about the time difference. So I just woke up. That's why he wasn't, because we're MFing you to no end. Oh, that's brutal. He didn't respond to our text this morning. Yeah, I also have bad insomnia, so I did a dance special. I had a little too much edible last night, and then I passed out for about nine hours, which is nice.

Solid. Yeah. So you're playing Vegas, man. That's sweet. Yeah, man. We're doing it. We're going to have fun. I'm really looking forward to selling out,

hopefully getting a draft team's deal, you know, all these things. Yeah. Really long disclaimer. Keep your head up, bud. I'm going to jump off a bridge. You'll get all these things. Yeah. Really long disclaimer. Keep your head up, bud. You'll get there one day. After they blow their mortgage. A really long day. We encourage you to do that, but it's not our fault.

Disclaimer. All right. So the format we're going to do now is we are going to pick, as Blake likes to call it, we have a bit of a confusing KT set of rules. Oh, no. Not too confusing. You're only going to be responsible for three games every week.

Number one, the Cowboy game. And the Cowboys this week, they're underdogs, two-and-a-half-point underdogs at Cleveland. Number two, your lock of the week. That'll be worth three. That's a triple play. That'll be worth three points, so be very sure. It could be a college game.

It could be a pro game. But it must be a football game. You can't bet the Rangers against... Well, we all know who they're playing tonight. Let's not belabor the points. Confused why you put Rangers today on the... The reason I have Rangers today on the run sheet

is that today Elvis Andrews will retire a Ranger. He's signing a one-day contract. I love that so much. And then he's probably going to be like, hey, gotcha. Now I'm under contract. I want to play. Why do you love that so much?

Because I'm a sports nerd. I love storylines, and I love when guys retire with the teams they need to retire with. I am Matt Guber. Let me have this, Jake. No one else comments. Well, I've just never heard anyone hate that.

Yeah, why would you hate that, man? It's great. It's such a feel-good story that I'd be all over. I'm going to kill you in your sleep. And so our third thing, so we have to have the cowboy game. We have to have your lock of the week. And we have to help the people who have joined our knockout league. So we have a knockout league.

And what that means, Akash, because I know you asked me about this via text, you just have to pick one winner every week, just a straight-up winner in the NFL. Okay. And it's a lot harder than it sounds. Like, I'm in multiple knockout leagues every year. How would you do that to yourself? Well, because it's real easy. It doesn't take a lot of time. You don't have to set a whole lineup or look for who's injured or whatever. You just kind of pick a game. You can't pick the same team twice throughout the year. Can't pick the same team to lose twice as well? Or, like, I could just pick against the –

No, you could always pick against the bad team. So if you want to – Okay. Hey, who's playing Carolina this week is a good strategy. But the problem is this week it's like New Orleans. Yeah. Who sucks. So it's a tough week.

But you have to just pick one game that you consider your knockout pick. My question, what do we do if there's a double-up situation? We'd like you to try to not do that just to make it a little bit fun. What if I already did it? Well, we'd like you to change that not do that just to make it a little bit fun. What if I already did it? Well, we'd like you to change that because – I could change it. Like, I mean, this is where your training has to kick in, Jake. You're on the fly.

You're asked to do something that you didn't plan to do. Well, my thought was – Because you could always double up your lock of the week. You think, well, if they're going to win against the spread, they're probably going to win. My thought was just I'm going to take the Cowboys for everything all the time. Well, then that's a good bit, too. Yeah, because he'd come in last, right?

But you have to pick a different knockout winner every week. Understood. Jake, if you want to do that, I'll pick against the Cowboys every single time. And Akash will win. Akash will do very well this year. Alright, so let's do some picks. Jasmine, you want to go first?

Cowboys, lock, knockout. Okay. Let's do Cowboys. Okay, so I'm going to preface this with saying I am a very, very, very cynical Cowboys fan. I love the Cowboys. I feel like with me and the Cowboys, they're like my drug addict kid that never gets their shit together. But you love them anyway, right? So, Dan, you're going to like this.

I'm going 21-17 Browns. You think Dan will like that? Yeah. Well, I guess you're not aware of the fact that I have a sizable amount of, four figs amount of money that is placed on the Cowboys to go 5-0 to start the season. What? Yeah. Are you crazy?

I'm a Cowboys fan saying this. Well, I look for value in my picks. I don't bet $100 and hope to win $110 like Jake does. I want to bet. I'm not taking shots. We will win four figs if this ends up landing. Okay. And then I'll take you out for dancing.

Do they do dancing at 5 p.m. at restaurants? Okay. The senior center? I like to go out very early. I don't like to do late things. I don't know what kind of boogieing goes down at 5 p.m. at restaurants. All right, so you got the Browns. Browns 3117.

So my next pick is going to be college, actually. Longhorns at Michigan. Wow. Give me Longhorns, 30-17 at the Big House. What's the spread in that? The spread on that. Seven and a half. Yeah, seven and a half.

Someone knows. We're all scrambling trying to look it up. Off the top of his head. Give me another one. Give me anyone you want at random. Wow. Is that right? Yeah.

Wow. How about that Carolina game? Carolina-New Orleans. Minus four. Wow. Stop it. He's a machine. That is great.

Obviously, New Orleans favorite in that one? He is. Okay. Yeah, Chappie's really into gambling, which is why. It's the pencil. You better win, and it might be the pencil, but you better win this league because you're up against a bunch of just people doing bits.

Yeah, right. Well, you know what? I'm just one big old bit now. All right. And then what's your guaranteed knockout pick, Jasmine? Oh, straight up, go, Pat, go over the stupid Eagles. I hate that fan base so much. I hate them.

Oh, that's right. You were texting. Are you allowed to say something? What do you want to say about the Eagles? You were texting. Are you allowed to say something? What do you want to say about the Eagles? So is it okay for me to say that their entire fan base needs to be doused in liquid horse poop and made to walk barefoot on Legos?

Well, let me ask Akash Singh, whose wife is a diehard Eagles fan. No! Akash, no! That's what? She must be hot. She must be super hot to be able to handle that. Die Hard is just like the way my mom

supported the Cowboys, which is like I live in Dallas and everybody around me likes it, but I don't know anything about football. That's how she loves the Eagles. But you're not wrong. You know what I mean? Thank you. Real fans? Yeah, you're absolutely right. They're awful. They're like bottom feeders. They're terrible.

Them and the Suns fans. That's another thing, but don't get me started. They're one of the Suns. Fair enough. And I mean, the time that they won that Super Bowl, the guy actually did eat horse shit. Solid horse shit, for what it's worth. It wasn't liquid.

It was not liquid. Yeah, that was going to be on the scheduled release. What are you referring to? It's a thing. When they won the Super Bowl, there was a guy who ate horse shit. Okay, I heard you say that the first time. Why?

Because they had a cop horse, you know? And what do those do? They poop everywhere. Yeah. I still don't have the why yet. We're going to get there, bro. No, it was just part of, hey, we're out here effed up at a celebration. I'm drunk.

I'm partying. I just – I see something on the ground. I'm going to eat it. That's pretty much it. People are cheering him on to do it. Yeah. See, that's what they do. It's what they do.

I wish I could give you more. Okay. No, I really can't. I thought it was like a bet or like the – No, there's 10,000 – There's a guy online this weekend? The Florida State guy. It's trendy now.

It's trendy. He disappeared, though. He's not going to do it. He deleted his account. Well, they started it, though. They started it in Philly. He's a giant weed. All right.

The guy ate shit. I don't know. I don't have more to tell you, really. Up next, who do you want to do next? Oh, I can give you a – well, let's do Jake. Well, I mean, I already hit on last night. So that's a win. Okay, that's ridiculous.

Obviously. I was going to make the Cowboys my lock. But if I need to move it, then I will take – obviously a Cowboys win. I will triple play the Dolphins. I think that's three and a half. What do you have it at, Pops? That's correct. That's correct.

Thank you. So Roy's not here to defend that. No. No, no, no. But I'm taking Miami. Three and a half over Jacksonville. And then I guess I have to move my lock. I'll take the commanders plus four.

The commanders? Yeah. Okay. You don't have to have a plus four, plus or minus. On that one you don't? Okay. So I'll just take the commanders over. Unless that's your lock.

Knockout. Your knockout pick is... You just pick a straight up winner. Yeah, straight up winner. Yep. Okay. Chappy. Okay.

You're the expert. Yeah. Yeah, that's why I left Vegas. So you're saying a lock is worth three. That's right. Your Chappie's Lock of the Week is a triple play. Okay, so what's next? What's worth two?

They're all worth, the other ones are just worth one. They will add up to five, and these are our KT confusing rules. Oh, my God. Steve, this is, literally, I'm glad you said it. Oh, my God. Steve, this is what I – literally, I'm glad you said it. Oh, stop. I went to high school in Texas, but 3-1-1 equals 5. That's correct. Okay, so here we go.

I will go with knockout first, and I'm going to take the Bengals. Obviously, that's flat, no line, Bengals. If they can't beat the Pats and Bengingles are at home i think they're minus eight jacoby bruce starting for the pats but you know this is the first time in a long time burrow hadn't been hurt in preseason a lot of commentary let him cook let's go second go ahead Go ahead, Chappie. Yeah, push Jake out of the way. I'm not sure to do it, but I would. Okay, so the Bengals in the knockout. I'm actually going to take the Cowboys. That line is plus two and a half.

The concerning part about that is the Browns are 8-1 against the spread at home last year. The Cowboys don't play well on the road. Just a tremendous amount of commentary. But I'm still not comfortable with Deshaun Watson and what he can do on the field. Many women aren't. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. He may still be in a massage parlor before the game.

I'm not sure, but I will say that. You don't want to do that before the game. Yeah. What for Robert Kraft? He may be in the stands. I just don't like the spot, but I do think Dallas is going to do enough to stay within two and a half points.

I don't know if they'll win, but I think they'll circle somewhere around that two and a half. Don't forget, as I leave that, it wasn't Deshaun Watson that carried the Browns last year. It was Joe Flacco. That's right. They started playing better when Flacco came in the game. So, with all that being said, stiff, stiff defense,

but I think somehow or another the Cowboys hang around and stay within two and a half. Lastly, my lock of the week, I'm going to college. I'm going tomorrow. I'm going at 11 o'clock. I'm going to Stewie Nation. I am going to take the Arkansas Razorbacks plus seven and a half at home against Oklahoma State. And I want to say one thing before someone interjects.

I've had too much verbiage in this. Oklahoma State's defense last week gave up 388 yards. But what I'm really excited about the cowboys took on two portals last year uh one of them is a quarterback from boise state and he's he's he's the real deal and they picked up a running back as well so at home 76 000 screaming fans i think it's going to be a back fourth fourth, fourth-back high-scoring game. But 7.5 points, I'll take that at home for my lock of the week. Razorbacks plus 7.5.

Chappies, lock of the week. We were able to keep that. That's fantastic. Really, he's the only one that we should be listening to. Well, I don't want to put you guys down. No, I'm listening. But I think you could profit. Now, over the years, Chappie, much like Deshaun Watson,

a notoriously slow starter. He is a slow starter if you look at his history. Yeah. So sometimes Chappie will throw an excuse or two at you in week three and four about how things are, I don't know, figuring things out. But usually – anyway, I'd still endorse following Chappie's picks. But Chappie brings up a point though.

You bring up a point about Joe Flacco. Is Joe Flacco the most forgettable quarterback that you then remember is actually playing? Like, you forget about Joe Flacco. Yeah. You know what I mean? Super Bowl. For sure. That's a terrible thing to say.

People say I'm forgettable, but it's weird because when you think of Joe Flacco, you're like, oh, I guess he is. So, like, when he brought it up, I'm like, oh, shit, that's right. He did. Because he wasn't that good when he was a good quarterback. No. And then. No. On elite.

He was overrated. Right. And then a couple years, you know, once he started bouncing around team to team, he was terrible, terrible. Like, I don't know what happened last year. Anyway. Must be something in the water here. Yeah, Cleveland, bro.

Had Watson not gotten hurt. He's a Cleveland 10. Had Watson not gotten hurt. He's a Cleveland 10. If Watson would have gotten hurt, in my opinion, and they kept going as they did last year, they wouldn't even have gotten trounced by the Texans in the playoff. They wouldn't even have gotten that point. So what do you got tomorrow? Who knows?

Watch him toss 400 yards and three touchdowns. Who knows? I'll give my picks real quick. I got Buffalo at home. Jappy, what are they favored by? Six and a half. That's right. Oh, my God.

Over Arizona. He's a beautiful mind. I have the Cowboys. I don't know if you guys have heard. I have a sizable amount of coin. You don't want to fade yourself? The Cowboy, well. Interesting proposition.

No, man. I'm all in. I'm all in. I'm all in. That's my character I call Fake Jerry. We'll be debuting that. We'll work on it. And not wait. And then my knockout pick here, not necessarily in all my leagues.

No, you want to spread them out. But I do feel that it's a pretty good bet that a guaranteed winner will be the Bengals hosting the New England Patriots. Oh, that's got to hurt. I mean, if you lose Belichick, that's good for three to four losses. Got it. Extra. And now, oh, you want to give yours real quick? Sorry.

Yeah, I don't want to end. Yeah. Give me the Browns. A lot of distractions this year for the Cowboys. All right? CD wasn't in training camp. Dak needs a new deal. McCarthy's a lame duck head coach.

They're worried about all that. We haven't been focusing on the Browns this week. They're just the Browns. They're going to beat the hell out of the Cowboys. Give me the Browns to cover. Let's move on to the lock. 36 wins in three seasons. Dan, I'm really surprised. Feels like a lot to me.

You didn't go with this one because I'm looking at the Tampa Bay Buccaneers hosting the lowly Washington Commanders. They're only favored by three and a half at home. You give the home team three points anyway. Baker against a rookie quarterback on the road, first-year head coach Dan Quinn in Washington.

Easy money there. Give me the Bucs minus three and a half at home. Boy, you and I have a big weekend. We do. And for my knockout pick, I know you kind of threw them under the bus a little earlier, Dan. But the New Orleans Saints.

Against Carolina. Really good defense. Playing a putrid team in the Panthers. No, Derek Carr, he's awesome. He's okay. He's a gangster. He's okay. Did you see, is your league making Taysom Hill only eligible at tight end now?

Yes. Ours is doing that, yeah. Yes, I did see that. Just a little tip, fantasy tip for those. Sure. Looking for a backup tight end. But the Saints at home, really good defense. Caroline on the road, I don't like that.

For my knockout pick, give me the New Orleans Saints. Okay. It's solid. Very solid. Thank you, Chappie. Thanks, Dad. Hey, you know what? That's like during a draft. Good pick. Yeah,, Chappie. Thanks, Dad. Hey, you know what?

That's like during a draft. Good pick. Yeah, if you have a guy in the room who's like, good pick. Like, if you hear Chappie say your pick is solid, I didn't hear that on any of mine. Well, I would be, I mean, Blake was always at the top when you guys were doing this. But he also kind of cooks the books a little bit. Yeah, he does keep the records.

And he had a really good point about the Browns-Cowboys. That one's going to be really close to call, but good point on that. Hey, thanks. Thank you. No, I'd feel great if I were you right now. I'd feel like a million bucks, honestly. That didn't come off the way I meant it. Yeah, we don't care. Yeah, I don't care I meant like... Yeah, we don't care.

I don't care. We don't care. I don't care. Our last game picker today will be the great Akash Singh, who's joining us from Vegas. I don't know if you guys know. He's doing some shows there this weekend. Yes, sir.

Isn't that backdrop so Vegas looking? I know. It's so Vegas. It feels like the venetian or something and if you're watching on video this is going to be available on the the youtube um he looks like he had a night in vegas i did it looks a little bit early morning akash here at 1 p.m yeah i didn't say that um i I looked in the video and I was like, wow, this is rough. May I just say, first of all, Chappy, nice to meet you.

And I really love your commentary. And I encourage you to keep doing it because I might just base one pick off of your commentary every week. Ooh, that's a bit. So I think you should really just really let us know how you're feeling, analyze everything, go as in-depth as you want to. But I'm going to take the Cowboys. Yes. Simply because I don't believe in Deshaun Watson,

I might decide again to antagonize you, Jake, and just to go against him every week. But I really think unless you get Deshaun the massage as he wants, he's just not, the Browns are not going to win anything. You don't do that before games, guys. You don't do that before games, guys. You don't do that before games. They used to tell us that, you know? You don't.

Like we would get out on Friday afternoon. Chappy, plug your ears. He knows. And we'd have like two and a half, three hours, and they were like, don't go do that. Two and a half to three hours. Well, like from when you get out of school from when you would have to be back at the field house

and they would say like, that's going to ruin your legs. They were 17, Jasmine. Oh, true. That's true. Three and a half hours could be 50 times. Yeah, at least. That's the under. Take the over.

I'm just saying he was better when he got massaged the way he wanted to. That's all I'm saying. I'm not encouraging or discouraging behavior. I'm just noticing

I'm just noticing patterns. I also and my lock is I'm taking the Packers. They're two and a half point dogs to the Eagles. I don't know. I'm very long on the Packers this year.

Maybe I'm wrong, and I'm not even – anybody can beat the Cowboys in the playoffs, but it was the game against the Niners where I was like, oh, I think these guys might have actually turned a corner. They should have won that game. And they didn't lose in as heartbreaking a fashion as Detroit. I think Detroit might not recover from that. I think the Packers are feeling very confident. I got them covering against the Eagles.

And my lock is the Chargers over the Raiders, simply because I don't believe in – I think the Raiders are probably going to be awful, and the Chargers got Harbaugh. So at least week one, you would think they'd play well. Yeah, I like that. Now, that's not like Chappie saying I like that. 70% of that, though.

But I was on the cusp for that for my knockout or whatever we call it. I'll take it. All right, sweet. We did it, guys. We did it. Week one. Thank you for joining us, Akash. In fact, I'm really surprised you said you'd do this this year.

Yeah. Because of the fact that you're a traveling stand-up comedian, and I thought, oh, come on. Well, I figure most of the fact that you're a traveling stand-up comedian and I thought, oh, come on. Well, I figure most of the time I don't have shows on Friday. Well, I have shows that night but I'm in whatever city

so I have it sometime in the morning. And also, I used to always love this when you guys did this for however many years and I would listen and I'd be like,

man, that sounds so fun. So thank you for letting me be part of it, man. How did it live up to your... It was awesome. Yeah, we don't have to. Yeah, don't answer that. We don't need the review. You already said you were in. You can't back out.

That was awesome. Chappy really carries this whole thing with his analysis. Yes. Well, thanks, guys. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. Hey, do me a favor. Try the fried pickle chips there where y'all are at. Why? And report back to me because I

have this thing with bars where there's two gaugers. They're pickles and they're queso. It's not cheese dip. I will walk out of your establishment if you call it cheese dip. So, anyway, I gauge pickles by how much I'm going to like that bar. So, report back to me. Because I have like a running chart around the country of like best fried pickles. Actually, my brother said he's working on

a bowl of those for us right now. Wonderful. They're on the table over there. Oh, they are? Yeah. They're right there. Try one right now.

I'm okay for now. Put the pickle in your mouth and tell me how it is. Yeah, put my pickle in your mouth, bro. Okay. All of a sudden, he has standards

of what goes in his mouth. I know. I know. Come on. Not now, dude. All right. Well, see I know. I know. Come on. Not now, dude. All right. Well, see you guys. See you.

Bye, Dad. Bye, Akash. Bye. See you, son. Thanks. And there you go. There's some picking games, guys. Good times.

Here in Cleveland today. The land. The land. The land. Are things given here? I thought they were earned. We might not be in the direction where. All over Northeast Ohio, I think we have that situation. Oh, you know what we should do?

What's up? Let's work this in real quick. Because we have some birthdays today. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute, Uncle Hotmail. What's up? Let's work this in real quick because we have some birthdays today. Oh, yeah. Wait a minute, Uncle Hotmail. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, Uncle Hotmail. Uncle Hotmail, look at me.

You want a pickle, buddy? I'll take a pickle since you won't eat one. I am. Yeah, what a jerk. My brother slaved over a hot stove all morning. That was considerate for you to dip it in ranch. Thank you. To make those pickles. You think that's ranch, huh?

I'm just not a pickle guy. Oh, yeah. Jasmine would be very pleased with this. Good. Good to know. Jasmine would be very pleased with this. Good. Good to know.

This, not a birthday, but still a celebration addressed to me. Salutations, Sultan of Slit. DF Robert here. Day two, number 950. I don't have a birthday to celebrate, but as my leader and life plan hero, you should know that here at 48 years old, I am now getting divorced. This is his divorce day. He's excited. He has an exclamation point.

Divorce is great for some. My mom's looking at me. She's giving you the double thumbs up. The triple. Only have to be a dad like four days a month. Yeah. Seems like it would rule. And the thing is, it's kind of like a third down back.

If you only have to play them like 18 snaps a game, they're going to give you their all. Sure, yeah. You know? He does say if you ever need to talk to an expert in the field of commercial food distribution, I'm your guy. I'm good. Okay, we'll let you know.

I'm pretty good for now, but yeah. Dan, I want to give a birthday shout-out to my amigo Juan Ramirez. He turns 37. He sits down to go number one. Thank you. Would like a joke from Heart Attack Man. Well, hold on to that thought. That's from Julio.

We may get Heart Attack Man later today. Remember? You know what sucks is that there are names that you can't name your kid based on what race you are. Because I really wanted to name my son Julio. Julio's a cool name, man. It's so cool, but people will be like,

That was my name in Spanish class because there was already another Dan in the class. Yeah, I remember you telling me that. So they had Daniel. But like...

And I picked Julio because of Julio Franco. Don't you think that would be tough to explain? Like if you named your kid Julio or... Yeah.

Jesus. Yeah. Or Juan. It's pretty cool, though. That sucks, though. Let's normalize that for white people. I'm saying. Yet another thing the white man can't do.

It's been excluded from. Like everybody else is allowed to name their kid Julio but me. It's bullshit. I agree, man. Dear Uncle Gashbash, celebrating my daughter's birthday today, please have Jake

rate her name. Hit me. Soraya Nora. S-A-R-I-A-H. S-A-R-I-A-H. Now, I know you are, it's kind of like Sarah, but it's, maybe they pronounce it Sarah. Anyway, you're on board with the middle name. Yeah.

I do like that name quite a bit. But Soraya, like, it sounds like a disease. So I don't know that I can get fully on board with that one. Nora's a cool name, though. So I don't know that I can get fully on board with that one. Nor is a cool name, though. He said I slid him a 20 for the extra stitch. It only takes 20 bucks?

This is from Devin. He says, I don't know my subscriber number because I'm not gay. Okay. All right. Are you telling me I could have got this done for 20 bucks? Dear HeDan and the Gassters of the Universe, day one, DF number 417 here. It is my daughter's seventh birthday. Jake is right.

The jersey bit is dead. I guess he's thinking the different name to call me at the beginning of the email is alive and well. That one's popping. It's thriving. I don't remember asking his opinion, but okay. Nora and the stuffed moose I received from the merch store are her leaders. Her birthday wish, so she's seven.

Okay. Her birthday wish is to someday, one day, smoke with Nora. Come on, boys. We can make this little girl's dream come true. You may remember me and my friend Tuxedo John from our sit-in a few months back. This is No Tux Chad. He's the one that got played. Yes.

No, he's the one that played him. Yes. No, he's the one that... Played him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, pranked the other guy. Yeah, they were both going to do a 690 sit-in together, and they agreed to be a funny bit to wear tuxedos. And so one of the guys showed up in a tuxedo,

and the other guy is like, what are you doing? Good bit. Does someone have juice? I don't have it plugged in. All right. Well, this one's not working, so that rules. All right. You want to take a quick pause?

No, no, no. We're good. Sounds like we're great. Dear, excuse me, greetings, Uncle Salmon Slit. Let's see. Key Stevens from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, home of Bluey and the 2032 Summer Olympics, wants to wish a happy Sergei Zuboff birthday to my kick-ass big brother.

Day three, number 2060, Wes Stevens. 56? 56, yeah, for sure. I'm a big Sergey Zuboff guy. I remember that. Let's see. For Christmas last year, he

69'd me by gifting me a year's worth of Dumb Zone on Patreon. How about that? What a guy. He says, more Bayless. Bayless, no. If you need an expert on where you should stay when you attend the 2013-32 Olympics in Brisbane, you could stay at my place.

Oh. That's from Keith Stevens. Then he says, for Blake, are there any other Aussie DFs, or am I the only one? Because you can tell through YouTube, correct? Yeah. Let me look. I would imagine he's one of very, very few.

And one final one, which is regarding our Knockout League and Mel Helitzer. The day you weren't here, I was talking about, you do know I did that comedy writing class in college, right? Correct. Where the final exam is stand-up, five minutes of stand-up? Yeah. Maybe 15. Yeah, five's not enough.

Yeah, I found 15 minutes of stand-up. I think I found the audio. Don't tease us. You're not going to play it for us. Why not? I'll play it. Okay. Why wouldn't I?

It was our assumption that he was hiding it from us. Dude, he's not me. You know how I've embarrassed myself so many times? I would love to hear it. Jake has to make sure everybody thinks he's cool. Oh, okay. Yeah. I wake up every day and just...

People know I'm not. Anyway... I promise you that if I find that album, I will give it to you. Okay. Yeah. Doesn't sound hopeful from Blake's standpoint. So I got Heil Fuhrer, Montage Mussolini, and Hot Spice.

He says he was trying to find an autographed book of Mel Helitzer. Mel Helitzer was the professor in that class. Sure. He was big, important to me. I enjoyed that guy a lot. Sounds like it. He did not find the book to send me, but he did find they do have a charity called the Mel Helitzer Memorial Fund.

And he didn't know if perhaps since we do, we have a knockout league which is totally full like it started already last night. Right? You can't join it still? You better hurry.

Oh, you can? Yeah. I just don't want them trickling in Sunday morning and missing windows, but just, if you're going to, please hurry. Oh, you can? Yeah. I just don't want them trickling in Sunday morning and missing windows. But just if you're going to, please hurry. Do we have a deadline? Saturday night. No more Venmo's after Saturday night. How about that? What time?

Is that fair? 11-11? Midnight. Yes, 11-11 Texas time. Got it. Yeah, if you'd like to join, yeah. What do you have to do? Venmo at the Dumb Zone, $50.

Include your email in the note, and we'll get you in as fast as we can. Okay, Blake gets you into the bit. So it's a knockout league. You just have to pick one winner. You can't pick the same team every week. You can. Oh, you can in ours? Yeah.

Okay, some leagues you can. Like the one we do on the air. Right. Yeah. But the point is we also can't profit off this. Very disappointed. Yeah. Tough news to process

from the legal team. So it's a boo-yay. Yeah. The boo is we can't profit off it. So we have hundreds of people in this knockout league for 50 bucks each. And that could be a nice little stack of green. I don't know. Or crypto. Perhaps some crypto.

And we talked to our... We have a lot of lawyers. And we talked to our top man on this particular situation because he has actually done cases in Dallas about, like, gambling parlors and such. So, like, how are they legal? How are they not legal? The point is it's not legal for us to do this and then keep the money. But he said it is legal.

If we would do the knockout league, we can give 50% of the proceeds to the winner at the end of the year, and 50% will go to charity. Yeah. And we are going to dispense that among some different charities. We will make it very public how much we gave to each charity and all this, but I do know that we want to support Jared Sandler's charity. I believe the North Texas Food Bank is high on our list. Yep.

I believe Dan's Daughter College Fund is high on our list. Yeah, you're 529. Yes. Yeah. Brooks' Car Fund. Yeah. Yep. So, anyway, why did I say all that?

Just to explain what we're doing? Yeah, it's a good cause. Okay, so this guy is saying, hey, maybe you want to donate something to the Mel Hellitzer Memorial Fund. We will take that under advisement. And then he says, this is from Samuel, who says, more roast twins, less impossible meat. Why does he say like impossible meat? You didn't follow that. I respect the idea that this guy was important to you creatively and in your formation.

You hear he goes, he's going to shit on Mel Holtz? He's dead, bro. He just learned about him. Yeah, he just died. The only thing he knows about him is that you care about him. He just died 20-something years ago. what I'm saying is, is he pretty low on the fame

register for having a memorial fund? You have to at least give me that, right? I think Mel would appreciate that. He's got a point. Because he would think

that's pretty funny to say. Yeah, yeah. You're above that and I would never imagine you having that. You think I'm above Mel Helliter? I think so. I mean, he has a published book. Look at him. There he is.

You did 15 minutes of stand-up, though. I did, but he taught me and the others how to do that. I just don't think. He created Dan. Here's the thing. He invented me. I just don't think Mel deserves a memorial for it. I think they're stealing from people. That's what't think. He created Dan. Here's the thing. He invented me. I just don't think Mel deserves a memorial fund. I think they're stealing from people.

That's what I think. Wow. So I guess we won't be donating to the Mel Hellitzer Memorial Fund. I think the guy's a fraud. What? I think we have to move on. Oh. It's time for a dumb zone interstitial.

I did want to just point out that we do have a lot of people who came out here, so we're very appreciative of that. I'll bet you this is a way bigger crowd than we will draw on Monday. Yeah, I would say quite a bit bigger. Yeah. So we have quite a few Clevelanders here or near Clevelanders. Blake, will it reach? We have quite a few.

What do you want to do? Oh, power. I thought he was looking for a mic or something. Quite a few people from... See, that lady right there is Jenny. Do you remember? I've told you stories for many years. I would go to Jack and Jenny's house for Thanksgiving.

Hi, Jenny. Jenny's from Dallas. Is this your husband? That's not her husband. Oh, okay. That's the great Ed. Oh, I was going to say... Ed, who tried out for the Cincinnati Reds.

That dude is hot. Yeah, he is. Jenny, I was going to say. Ed who tried out for the Cincinnati Reds. That dude is hot. Yeah, he is. Jenny, though, we used to have Thanksgiving dinner at her house every year, and I thought she liked that until this very day. She cleared that up for you? Yeah, because I said, oh, I miss you on Thanksgiving. And Ed says, well, she doesn't miss you. And I go, why? Because when I I miss you on Thanksgiving. And Ed says, well, she doesn't miss you. And I go, why?

Because when I would go over for Thanksgiving. Can I guess? Yeah, go ahead. Okay, so if I had to, I would make two guesses. The first one is that they're not allowed to watch football. That's the main, that's what she said. She wants to watch the Cowboy Game live. Right.

I wanted to go home and watch it in my form. And so, yes. But I like the world to shift around me to do what I want. Yeah, because the second one. Jenny had to live with that every year. The second one, which fits into the same file, would have been that they have to make cauliflower steak or something. Like something that nobody eats on Thanksgiving.

Yes. Yes. Tofurky. Tofurky. There you go. Something like that. Yeah. So those would have been my two guesses.

Yeah. Well, no, you nailed it. Yeah. You absolutely nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. So everybody that thinks, oh, it would be really fun to have Dan over. It's not.

You would hate it. But is your – So stop inviting me. Is your general impression that that's what everyone thinks? Yeah, I think I'm looked at as a really fun guy. I'm wearing a – so what I'm wearing today, as a matter of fact, I'm going to prove I'm fun. So this is a – obviously, it's a fun Cleveland Browns Hawaiian shirt over my WHK Les Levine shirt that I had many years ago. What's up?

But you can see, as I put it on, I'm like, did this thing shrink or something? Look how tiny it is, like in the back. It's pretty short. That's why. So, for one of our smaller listeners, they are going to win this shirt today. What? What a giveaway. My Cleveland Browns shirt.

Unfortunately, we, most of our listeners seem to be like, as my dad would say, three bills. We have some bigger listeners. But, yeah. Any of you tiny, because it'd be fun to watch some tiny listeners fight over this, wouldn't it? So if you're shorter than Blake, you're eligible for this.

Am I? I mean, as an employee? You're way taller than Blake. You're way taller than Blake. Okay. But, yeah, I just wanted to point out, and, of course, my mom is here with Rose. Let's clap for my mom. No one's ever clapped for her before.

I don't know. I don't have my glasses on, but there was a guy here who drove from Detroit. Yeah. Right there. He's still here. Okay. He plays in an orchestra. Am I allowed to say that?

Yeah. He plays in an orchestra in Detroit. And he mocked me about Lindsey Stirling. Oh, really? He was like, she's not a real musician. Oh. And that really broke my heart. Yeah, he plays for the Detroit Symphony.

Yeah. Or Detroit, what are they called? Detroit Orchestra? Whatever. He plays stuff. Is he the only one of our listeners that does that professionally? No. You're aware of that?

Because there were two people that emailed me whenever I went to go see Jeezy in Atlanta. And he was one of them and there was another guy. And he also emailed me after, if you recall, I went to go see the Dallas... I can't remember specifically if it was the Dallas Symphony Orchestra, what they're called, but my kid was kind of freaking out. Like, really excited. And there was a lady that was like, you know, can you calm her down?

Okay. That's right, I remember that. Yeah, and a couple different people who played in orchestras hit me up and were like, dude, those are the shows we love. Nobody cares. Let the kid wild out. Yeah, and a couple different people who played in orchestras hit me up and were like, dude, those are the shows we love. Nobody cares. Let the kid wild out. Yeah. But some stuffy cunt was like.

Oh, geez. Sorry, Dan's mom. Also out here, she's like, what? What did he say? Yeah. Now someone's going to have to go yell it in her ear. Yeah. Which has been done before.

Also here, you recognize Anna Kay from our video. I do. The great Anna Kay. Tepid. Not as exciting, her husband. We're very upset he's here. Yeah, and I'm probably not going to recognize everybody here. Oh, there's our guys who we sat on the plane with.

We've done 690 remote at their place. And then I had a guy named Rick Morris who also brought me some Andre Thornton Joe Charbonneau cards. Why not? For here, yeah. So anyway, it's very cool that all these people came out to join us. And Marianne. I'm sorry, Marianne. Like I said, I will not mention everybody because I'm old and I can't remember and I can't really see.

I'm pretty sure that I smoked a cigarette with her last time I was here. With Mare? There's a very good possibility. In that alleyway right behind here. Yeah. Which is a very, it's really not exclusive list that Marianne is in. No, it's not particularly exclusive. I'm just trying to add people to it when I recognize them.

And I'm pretty sure she's on that list. Yeah. So put Mare on the list. Yeah. Yeah. So put Mayor on the list. Shall we do today's news? Yeah. I'm going to have to hold no computer, but... Oh, what happened? It's not working.

None of our power sources are... Do you want to not do it? No, no, no. We're good. Well, I guess, you know, it is probably their fault for not charging... For running power to them? Not charging their computers this morning. It's been plugged in the whole time.

Just saying. You've made Rob mad. It's been plugged in the whole time. Look how pissed Rob is. I know. Look at him. I've never seen him like this. You know, we could do Today in History before news if you'd like.

Yeah. Look at a guy who doesn't like to print things. Print things out. Do we have a printer at the Airbnb? Look, here's the deal. I also haven't plugged in during today's show. My point is that you're yelling at Rob. I'm not yelling at anybody.

For not charging your computer at our Airbnb before you got out here. I am not yelling at anyone. Why are you screaming at this poor guy? In his defense, Jake doesn't have a room. Maybe that has something to do with it. That is true. He actually doesn't have a room.

All right. Well, the last news story that I had pulled up here was a DFD, Dallas Fire Department story. Do you know they still actually rescue cats out of trees? a DFD, Dallas Fire Department story. Do you know they still actually rescue cats out of trees? Like, it's the most stereotypical thing that you ever hear about regarding fire

people. And, like, that makes news? Fire people? Oh, sorry, go ahead. I don't know. You don't see a lot of women? Like, they don't even make porno about that. Thank you, whoever.

He knows because he's looked. Well, you see, like, busty cops, you know? Sure. You'll see, like, the hot female cop. You don't see a lot of female firefighters. What do you got? You got a song over there? You know what?

Just for a weird reason, because I'm me, that just triggered, just yesterday I was walking around thinking about the lyrics to the song Misty. Miss Misty or? Misty. Misty, okay.

It's called Misty. And I thought, so I was thinking something in my head that was very illogical because I was thinking, why are the lyrics to this song I know, look at me, I'm as happy as a kitten in a tree, because I thought, why would a kitten be happy in a tree? It would be, and it turns out that's not the lyrics. So I was upset in my head walking around thinking about these lyrics. It is actually, the lyric is, I'm as helpless as a kitten in a tree, which is logical. Makes a lot more sense. Yeah. Yeah. Makes a lot

more sense. I didn't need you to just talk about what I was typing on my. I just, you know. Yeah. But I guess since I'm the guy with the computer that works, you're going to have to look at something. Do you want to look at the – No, no, no. We're good. Like you can pull up a – It was in Fort Worth.

And, you know, they respond to a call. But, I mean, how many times a day do they do this? It only makes news when they rescue kittens. Or, you know, when, like, Saudi Arabia funds a terrorist attack and knocks down two towers. That's the only time firefighters can actually get in the news. Yes, that is correct. That's a good point. Yeah.

I feel like you should re-up your firefighter opinion. You know, it was one growing up type thing. It wasn't an opinion. I think it was the way the world was where before 9-11, I don't believe firefighters were nearly as respected because it was always thought that the firefighters were like, in fact, I heard this from cops. Wow. Guys who couldn't become cops. Like they failed the test to become a police officer, so they became

firemen. I think you should consider your source. Perhaps. The cop. But I back the blue. You guys can go ahead and do whatever you want. Okay. Have I ever told you that when my mom met my stepdad, he was a cop.

We had a sticker on the back of our car. It was cleat. I believe it was something law enforcement agency of Texas. Okay. I don't remember what the C was for, but we kept that sticker on there for so long. Oh, of course. Yeah. After he retired from the force.

Yeah, there's no way. You're not getting a ticket. Yeah. And I believe, actually, I don't know how it is in different states, but you can actually donate X amount of dollars, and they'll give you a sticker. And you just slap that bad boy on there. Don't get tickets.

So I have donated to the local police for that reason. Exclusively for that reason? No, but just thinking, yeah, thinking that, well, number one, they do kind of, you know, we live in that out-of-the-way area, and they do kind of regularly patrol, so I appreciate that. But I'll toss $100 now and again to that local police association, whatever, thinking that if I get pulled over, there's a database, and they will know this guy has never donated or this guy has donated.

You've got to have the sticker. Now, they have sent a sticker, but I feel that would be a step too far to actually put that in my car. Has that gotten you out of a ticket yet? That has not gotten me out of a ticket. So, next story. Are you guys aware of what's happening at Grand Prairie and their water? Yeah.

The city just says for four days, don't drink this water. Yeah, because of a foaming agent. A foaming agent that was somehow accidentally placed in the water supply. They haven't had school all week. Because I guess, you know, kids need water at school. Yeah. And so they're just not having school. What does accidentally placed mean?

Like, ugh! Did somebody drop something in there? Yeah. So they actually passed some environmental quality tests yesterday afternoon. But, I mean, you just can't use your tap water for four days. Yeah, I believe that'd be a real bad bit. Yeah, and the other thing about it, too, is, like, you have to imagine. I don't think you think about whenever you take a shower that you do kind of get water in your mouth without thinking about it.

I do it with thinking about it. Isn't that fun? Fun? Yeah. Swish it around a little bit. What's fun about that? I used to brush my teeth in the shower. I still do.

Oh, do you? I feel like that's efficient. But I do a really weird move. I use the water from the sink. What, do you like lean out of the shower? No, I put it... Somebody said what? Like how do you gargle the stuff out of there?

I put water on the toothbrush with toothpaste from the sink. Then I get in the shower and I brush like that. Okay. And then I just like spit. Okay, but then you in the shower and I brush like that. And then I just spit. Okay, but then you clean your mouth out. No? You don't rinse your mouth out with water? You don't have remnants?

You spit it. Yeah, but there's still toothpaste. You need to swish around and get it out. I don't do that. What? So like the next time you take a drink, you don't taste toothpaste? No.

I feel like we're right and he's wrong on this. He's way wrong. We're going to get... I guess we'll have to wait a few days to prove it to him through email. I don't understand the problem. We can take a poll or something. Okay, yeah. I think it's actually abnormal to brush your teeth in the shower.

I've been told. Oh, for sure. No, but let's say you're brushing your teeth at the sink. Yep. You don't, like, take a little sip of the water after and spit it out then? Did you just indicate to me that you put your mouth underneath a faucet at this age? You guys don't do it? Yes.

Yeah. No. Yeah. Do the little thing. Do the Robert. And spit. Yeah. You don't put your mouth on the faucet, but it's underneath, and you've got an itch under there.

Yeah. You've never drank from a water fountain before? Every time. Like, every day. Yeah. In fact, I think when I do this, this is weird at an Airbnb or a hotel, but it looked pretty clean. And again, I'm not putting my mouth around the spigot. That's fine.

We can do this. How many people in here put their mouth up to a faucet on a daily basis? About half. That's not half. And Anna's one of them. If you don't do it, do you at least take a little cup, a little Dixie cup full of water? So you brush your teeth and you don't rinse your mouth out. You just brush your...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can put water on the toothbrush and then you just, you're done. Why are we the only normal ones? I know. Why aren't more people like us, Blake? I don't know. Now, to my credit, if I lived in Grand Prairie, this would not be a problem for me.

Because I'm not filling my mouth up with water afterward. Yeah, no. And then, you know what? If I'm a little thirsty, might take a gulp or two right out of that sink. A gulp? Absolutely. Yeah.

It's not the toilet, bro. It's the sink. It's the same. It's where you toilet, bro. It's the sink. It's the same. It's where you would be filling up your water bottle. You put your lips all over the... Hold on. Mike. You put your lips all over the faucet.

Mike off. No, I'm just kidding. You can keep going. The weirdest part is like I actually knew Dan did this because I went in there one time and he was fondling the handle. Yeah, yeah. I was like, dude, you don't have to do that. You have to work it up a little bit. Why do you have your pinky like in the back side.

All right. Anyways. You got to pack your lube. Yeah. Well, there's your no internet news, I suppose. Grand Prairie doesn't have water. The no internet news today brought to us by Frankel & Frankel Personal Injury Attorneys based in Dallas. Do you know the number? Yes.

Just give me the area codes. 214 or 817. Either way. Then I start jamming the number? Yes. Just give me the area codes. 214 or 817. Either way. Then I start jamming the three, brother. That's right. 333-3333. Personal injury. Attorney's base in Dallas.

When you call, you will talk to a partner, not, quote, some spare. Like me. As Dan says. Yeah, no. You'll talk to Mark or Scott Frankel or Gene Burkett. They are the grand poobahs of Frankel and Frankel. And that is important, no. You'll talk to Mark or Scott Frankel or Gene Burkett. They are the grand poobahs of Frankel & Frankel. And that is important, though. You're going to talk to somebody who actually knows things, a family-owned law firm.

They have the experience and knowledge to win in the courtroom. They will work tirelessly to maximize your outcome. They're great. They're an early sponsor of ours. And once again, they have a phone number. But I just, how come I can't remember it? It must be my age. I wonder if anybody else would interject here and

give that phone number out. Give me that area code. 214-817-333-3333. There he is. The Dumb Zone News. When I get the water and I rinse my mouth and spit, I can see all of the toothpaste that comes out. It's still in my mouth. Once I do that, and I rinse my mouth and spit, I can see all of the toothpaste that comes out.

Right. It's still in my mouth. Right. And then once I do that, then my mouth feels refreshed. Are you putting a whole tube on your toothbrush every time you brush your... You fill up the toothbrush head. All right, man. I'm brushing better than you guys are.

I think we are because there's more stuff in there. All right. I want to do Today in History with a special guest who I believe once had some kind of a cardiac issue. I don't know. Yeah. But first, we should talk about the greatness of the early bird CBD. He'll chill you out at night, bro. Yes, sir.

Yeah. Now, the early bird CBD actually has THC in it. Oh, it sure does, Dan. Yes, it does. This is not the gummy that you want to take if you're looking to pass a drug test. This is the gummy if you want to relax. This is the gummy you want to take if you're sitting out in the parking lot waiting to come in to be on a show. That works.

Or perhaps if you're going to a football game. Oh, interesting. And you want to enhance things just a little bit. I wonder if you know anybody who's doing that. Yeah. Start with one, two and a half milligrams THC. It's got a little CBD in it. Not necessarily your sleep gummy, but it perhaps can help you sleep.

It's a relaxation. You can get things done. That's what Blake does. Did you know it's all natural? I did. Plants over pills? I did. But you know what?

It feels good to have you reaffirm that for me. Yeah, well, it's derived entirely from the hemp plants. It's all natural, bro. That's right. Natural. Well, I only point that out because in this, and because it's on the copy, in this evolving industry, there are people who make THC in their products, but it's not naturally derived from the plant. That's the difference. They go the extra mile here at Early Bird CBD.

Yeah, and look, I love Ohio, but I try as much as I can to buy products from Texas companies. And that's what you're going to get with Early Bird CBD. That's right. You go to Early Bird CBD. You can use the code DUMBZONE. That'll get you a 20% off discount at earlybirdcbd.com. Namaste. Early Bird CBD.

Dumbs on all one word. Yes. Yes. So give it a try. Thank you. Give it a go. Early Bird CBD. Just chill out, man.

Have a tough day. It helps, man. Wife yapping at you. Tough day destroying on a podcast? Kid crying, you got work to do? You down about ten of those babies? Yeah, that's not part of the contest. We recommend starting with one. Start with one.

Oh, okay. You can do whatever you want after that. The Dome Zone presents Today in History Ah yes Look at this graphic

Today in History It's beautiful Yeah Is that me? Joining us here is a man Who often will join us on a Friday And I thought Today will certainly be different

But many know him as Heart Attack Man. Yeah, let's clap. Yeah, why not? Thank you. Sure. Sure, I survived a cardiac issue. And all I got is this T-shirt. What do you get for that?

What do they do? Like, for surviving it, just that's good enough? Well, yeah. You get to live. that's good enough? Well, yeah. You get to live. You get to live, yeah. That's not that great for someone. I got little mesh pieces in my chest. What a parting gift.

Yeah. Yeah. Those are pretty cool. Is that a stint? Yes. A stint? Stint. Stint.

I always thought it would be a stint. Stint. Stint is like a gig. My pops has one. Oh, yeah? I think so. How come every Scott one of those but me? All the cool kids are doing it, yeah.

So today is Friday. You don't even get like a month out of the year for the NFL. I know, man. Nobody's wearing ribbons for my stint. Yeah, once again, the white man. The white man. The white man. The diabetic overweight. I mean, I worked hard.

Probably. So today is Friday, September 6th. Clocking those arteries. Happy Thinking Man 69. Okay, yeah. Today is 9-6. I was actually thinking about it the other day. The most common maneuver in our bed. 9-6. I was actually thinking about it the other day. The most common maneuver in our bed, 9-6.

Back to back. You just back to back face away. That's what I was going to say. It's like, yeah, it's a reverse spoon. Were you about to tell something and I interrupted you? No, I just, I was thinking about it the other day of like, you know, we're trying to do bits with every single price thing we have. And I was like, how would 9.6 really work?

And it doesn't. No, which is why that's your common move. That's what you get into, yeah. I like just 9. Just 9, huh? Yeah. Okay. On this day in 1901, President William McKinley.

Is he the one with the little girl daughter? I believe that was either Grover Cleveland or Millard Fillmore. William McKinley was shot. Cleveland? Yeah. Yeah. He's the one who married his buddy's daughter that he met when he was 30 and she was zero. Oh.

Yeah. Look. She said, hello, Cleveland. You got to meet him sometime. That's true. You know, you know. I suppose, yeah. It was love at first sight.

I could tell by her first cries. President William McKinley shot and killed. Says here by an anarchist. Oh, no. Whatever that is. And then he was shot. He died eight days later. It grazed his ear, his earlobe.

But back then they didn't have the life-saving. He wasn't a great healer. And the best healer. And then the guy who shot him, so this is 1901, and today is September 6th, they executed him October 29th. I mean, not a lot of fucking around there. Make America that way again, right?

Just kind of stop all this BS. Save the taxpayers money. Yeah. On this day in 1977, the Angels acquired Dave Kingman from the Padres. Nine days later, he was traded to the Yankees,

making him the first player to wear four uniforms in four divisions in the same year. Wild. Is that exciting to you? Yep. Yep. Baseball exciting to you? Yep. Yep.

Baseball Blake? Baseball Blake, on this day in 1995, Lou Gehrig's unbreakable record was broken by Cal Ripken Jr., his 2,131st consecutive game. And then, if you watch this game like I did, then he just lapped around the stadium, and it was like a half-hour, 45-minute delay. How was that that game?

You were at that game. Jenny was at that game, she claims. Oh. You know about... I was not because I didn't want to see it live. 500... Very well played. About 500 games before that, he was actually going to miss a game

because Kevin Costner was having sex with his wife. Oh. And they got in a big fight. That is a clear rumor that's out there, right? Yeah. And they ended up saying that what was Baltimore's old stadium called? I don't think it was Camden at the time. Maybe Memorial.

Yeah, so they ended up saying that they do you know this, Blake? It was the Mel Helitzer Memorial Stadium. They said they had like an electrical issue and that they didn't have lights that night, but really it was a Kevin Costner beat the shit out of them. Interesting. Yeah.

Out of Ripken? Do you guys know? Or, you know, they got in a fight. Do you guys know this stage where we are sitting here Oh my god, I forgot about this. At the Brothers Lounge. The Brothers Lounge, it's actually managed

by my brother, but it's not named that because of him. Kevin Costner performed right here It's actually managed by my brother, but it's not named that because of him. This is in the light of the day. Kevin Costner performed right here with his band on this stage because he was in town to film, what was that, Draft Day? Draft Day, yeah. And where is Craig? Get Craig over here. Craig!

Craig! He seems uninterested in your entire... He's outside having some gummies. He's outside? Yeah. When he comes by, grab Craig. Because I want to know how did that occur. I've always thought like Kevin Costner's people just reached out to them.

That's got to be it. I don't think he called Kevin Costner and tried to book him. No. Okay. Oh, now my mom is yelling at the... We got a new intern? Oh, whoa. Let's see.

Is that Rose? Yes, Rose is with my mom. Hi, Rose. So go ahead over there. Kevin Costner's college roommate plays here. Okay. There you go. All right.

There you go. All right. There you go. Yeah, Dan. On this date in the year 2000, Scott Sheldon became the third player in Major League Baseball history to... Give it to me, Sheldon. No idea. Play all nine positions in one game. Oh, okay. You like that bit? Ride me, big Sheldon. No idea. Play all nine positions in one game. Oh, okay.

You like that bit? Ride me, Big Sheldon. Yeah. A ranger did it too, right? Well, he wasn't listening to me either. Let me read that again. Scott Sheldon of the Texas Rangers. As I just said.

We'll check the tape, but I don't think you said that. You can't prove it. Did you hear it? No, that's what I thought. I don't remember Scott Schroeder at all. Everybody listening to us on the podcast. Clip it off. Rewind it.

Rewind it. Hit rewind real quick. Yep. Didn't Toby Harrod do it? That's what I was thinking. I thought a more notable Ranger did it. Toby Harrod do it? That's what I was thinking. I thought a more notable ranger did it. Toby Harrod did not do it. What are you thinking of?

Toby Harrod once played a doubleheader at shortstop and never got a fielding chance. No, I thought there was a game he played all the positions as well. It's not like we could ever know this. Yeah, no one can find out. It's not like there's a magic box we could ask. It's the mystery. And on this day in 2021, actor Michael K. Williams, known as Omar from The Wire, found dead.

He's in a New York apartment at the age of 54. It says here, a medical examiner found that Williams had died of acute drug intoxication. Oh. Which means the drugs... I've been there, bro. The drugs had little pigtails. No, it's acute, not a-cute. What does that mean?

Oh, I thought it was a cute drug. Look at that little drug. Oh, yeah. A little pink pill. A little cutie pie. A little pink pill. A little cutie fentanyl. Yeah.

Do you remember when you had him on? Fentanyl? Yeah. No, not fentanyl. Oh. I think I when you had him on? Fentanyl? Yeah. No, not fentanyl. Oh. I think I talked to him about making out with a dude. You did. Because that's one of the things he did.

He very much still lived not in a great area. Because I remember when you guys had him on, like, the interview being drowned out by police sirens. Really? Yeah. He's like, oh, sorry. There's something going on outside. He's like, holy shit, you're Omar. What a character.

Yeah. That's got to be like top five of every list that anybody comes up with. Do you have him up there with Kevin James? No one's in Kevin James category. I don't think Blake has watched The Wire. I saw the first season. Just kind of decided. Fizzled.

Yeah. This isn't as funny as I thought it would be. Season two's not great, right? We're not the best? It's the best. Which season did they do

as the musical? In the end, you would say that's Oz. You're thinking of Oz. In the end, they would say that's Oz. You're thinking of Oz. In the end, they would say season. At the time, you're like, what is this? The Ducks.

But once you understand it. I don't know. It's good. But at first, people didn't like it because it totally shifted gears. Where they thought the main character was McNulty and Bunk and everything. When the main character, it turns out, the city was Baltimore. King of Queens

is the same all the way through. Consistently gold. That's what we love about it. Today's birthday is a famous people. Not the people, just the spares who mailed us in their birthday.

Rhett Miller is 54. No doubt. Really? How about that? What a guy. I love Rhett Miller. I've kissed Rhett Miller. Among the 54-year-olds in the world, where would he rank in hotness?

He has all his hair. I mean, he's in the playoff for sure. He's in great shape. Yeah. Sober. Sober. Used to be. I don't call that.

So he's got good stories. Generally, I don't call. Yeah, he's got good stories. That's what I'm saying. Because he was a dirty drunk. Yeah. So dirty. He's an extremely talented musician.

Like, just what a catch this guy is. He 100% got me late one time. I'd proposed to my wife, and they dedicated a song to me. You were in. And I was like, I didn't know that it was coming. But it was with her that you scored, right? Yeah, let me just say something, though. It was with him.

I don't believe we can give him a lot of credit for that, only because the night you proposed, you're probably going to happen anyway. Bro, no. Unless you pass out. I think it was like two days. Which might have happened the night I proposed. It was not the same day, but it was close.

It was within two days. And we were in the crowd, and he's like, hey. You're making love to her. And it's a song about proposing she also said I'm only doing this because they dedicated a song

to her the question the question yeah I think that's the beautiful that's like a top 10 song of all time

of any song yeah in my opinion it's a good we're making a lot of top lists here yeah well that's what we do here on a Friday

yeah that's right yeah he's he's a sweet guy sweet guy and yeah, that's right. Yeah, he's a... Sweet guy, sweet guy. Yeah, and that's the problem. Genuine. He's also the nicest guy you'll ever meet.

Like, and it's not fake. He's not Blake who doesn't want to talk to you. He wants to talk to you. I'll be nice to your face. Yeah, but he's like nice behind the scenes too. It's a guy you want to see get hit by a bus. Anybody else want to suck him off? I do, yeah. A little bit more. He met my

toy poodle and he went home and he got a toy poodle for his kids. Wow. Because he loves the toy poodle. Wow. I promote the toy poodle. Wow. What a guy. I believe what's his name?

Ziggy Starpup. Because he likes doing bits. I like it. Former Ranger Mitch Moreland, 39. He once played all nine positions. No, that's a different guy. Ranger, wasn't he? Former Longhorn Sam Acko is 36.

How do you say that? Acho? Is it Acho? Yeah. I think it's Acho. He's... Edit that? Acho? Is it Acho? Yeah. I think it's Acho. Yeah. He's anti-cowboy. No, that's Emmanuel.

Racist. I was going to say. Mark Andrews. Jeez. They're brothers. Tough night for him last night. Tough night for his fantasy owners, bro. Sorry, bud.

One catch, two yards. They have a new tight end. And the other tight end's doing things. You feel like he's been overrated over the years, Mark Andrews? Line him up. Line up the callers. Like, don't you? Seriously.

Like, it seems like every fantasy draft, you're like, oh, he's one of the top three. I think the main reason. He goes off for 670 yards receiving that year. I think the main reason is that they have no skill position players. And that's why you just think, well, he's going to have to rely on the tight end. But he might suck. That's too bad. You know who sucks?

Lamar. We skated on that today. You know who sucks? Lamar. We skated on that today. I mean, I won a bunch of money, but I looked it up this morning, and it was not to do, like, hardcore sports talk at the end of the show. It was 1.5 average depth of target.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. 1.5 yard? Yeah, well, there's a ton of times where he runs backwards and then throws the ball behind the line of scrimmage and it erases 8 to 10 yards every time he does it. I'm done with him, dude. I'm done.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Would you trade Dak for him today? No. Interesting. Two-time MVP. Ask him on Monday. That's a good point.

After we put up 45 i enjoyed so i enjoyed um when we were watching the game it started and there was the black national anthem it's not the name what is it called lift every voice what is it known as the black national anthem thank you um yeah so it's on Thank you. Yeah. So it's on. And did someone in our house was like, why are we doing this? I can't remember. It's probably me.

It was you, yeah. And we're like, Jake pointed out, like, they've been doing this for a few years now. You never see it on TV. They typically don't. But you'll see it for, like, the big game. You'll see it at the Super Bowl. Yep. And you'll see it on the opening game of the season last night. But then they take a break. They all disperse. They do stuff for like 10 or 15 minutes. Then they come back with like the real national

anthem. And so we're thinking, boy, this is going to cause, you know, this is going to cause the black community be very upset that they're separating it by so much time i'm pissed i'm about to get really mad at the black national anthem being buried before the white and then right when i'm about to scream at my tv they show they bring out the national anthem singer the real national anthem singer and she's black you're like what do i do now i was just about to protest something. I was very upset. I was going to kneel and now Now you're in a real pretzel.

Yeah. What do I do? That's tough. It was like 20 minutes later. It was a long Yeah, there was a lot of Can I say also? A lot of early bird CBD spots in between. Not a big fan of the 840 kick on the Eastern time zone.

I don't know how you people live like this. There's a delay. Eastern time zone sucks. That's not good. Once I move to Central time zone, bro. Central time zone, where it's at. Yeah, I mean. I wouldn't mind.

That game was over at midnight. I don't know if we've lived on the West Coast for a little bit. The Pacific is. Could you imagine a nice football game at 10 a.m.? No. And the game's being over by like 8 p.m.? I love it. I would absolutely love it.

We're eating dinner at 5. We're watching a game. Like, how great. That's my dream life. Tucking into those CBD gummies at about 7. Right. You're pounding 50 or so of those, right? Promo code Demso.

But it is funny. This morning on Twitter, I'm looking. Boycott the NFL is trending. So I'm like, all right. I'll just click on it. It was because they showed the Black National Anthem. Really? People get on like, oh, what is this?

This isn't, why are they doing it? You know how this is. Yeah. And I think it happens every year after the first game. I thought you were going to say it was like, as you know, we used to have a sizable contingent of Native Americans who would make themselves known every opening day around here. Right.

I thought you were going to say it was like T-Swift related. She was all the rage last night. She really was, man. She's back. In fact, Tariko said Taylor Swift is back in the house because Mike Tariko is a haircut. Yeah, he's pretty lame. And he sucks.

I thought it was crazy, too, though, last night when they introduced Chris Collinsworth, there was a whole bar of people. And then he slid in and they were nuts. And everybody went crazy, yeah. You believe that. Real quick, Jake. Yep. How many kicks has Justin Tucker missed in his career?

43. He got it wrong. 44. Missed one last night. You're the one who told us the stat. Well, he hadn't missed it when I told you that. Right. Because why?

I went to a place to pick up pizza last night, and while I was waiting at the bar, there were two guys that transformed right out of 1997 when you couldn't look something up. They were just arguing with each other about how many kicks Justin Tucker had missed. And one guy was like, I bet it's no more than 10. Every time Jake is in Cleveland,

he happens upon a sports argument. And then another guy was like, I bet it's no more than 10. Every time Jake is in Cleveland, he happens upon a sports argument. And then another guy was like, it's at least 50. And then they looked at me and they were like, what do you think? Oh, no, you got to lose 10. I was like, we could just look this shit up immediately. Not here in Cleveland, bro. This is not a problem. Really?

Old school here in Cleveland. And one guy did look it up and he's like, 43, we were both wrong. Well, one was a lot closer than the other. Yeah, but it also was just not an interesting fact at all. I don't think I need my brother anymore because my mom yelled the information to us. Yeah, that did happen. Not that I don't always need my brother. He's so important to me.

John Wallace, 34. Man. 50 mil. Yeah, how. John Wallace, 34. Man. 50 mil. Yeah, how much money has he made? Probably. 286 million. You looked it up? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I was going to say over a quarter billy. Because, yeah, it's incredible. And the fact, the funny thing is, like, for the past two years, he's taken a discount. Only 7 million a year. Oh, okay. Like, that's the world he lives in. He can take a, what, 300% haircut

and he's still making $7 million a year. Kevin Willis is 62. He is a former NBA player who has the most games played ever for anyone not in the Hall of Fame. Wow. That feels like a very Brad Davis level distinction. Well, you were here.

Idris Elba is 52. The Black James Bond. Man. I wonder if he was sad that Omar died on his birthday. Or if he was really happy because that was kind of – that was his rival, right? He was against Omar. Yeah, but, like, they identified with each other, though, you know? It's all in the game.

Leaders of the game. Rosie Perez is 60. Why stop at half? Jeff Foxworthy is 66. Chappy. Regretfully, there was a time when I thought Jeff Foxworthy was pretty hilarious. Speaking of why stop at half, I was thinking when we go into a new town, I used to tell you Bob, Bob Sturm, my old radio partner,

would immediately find all the sports radio stations on the dial and then program them into our rental car obviously uh we learned that uh rob video man as many know him as rob chickering the skydiving chief that's right he immediately finds public radio no craft brewery oh because i didn't see him for hours after we landed like he was already there by the time I finished my courtship of the Avis girl and got to East Cleveland and West. Jake, we found, will find the nearest pizza place. Yeah.

That's right. Because when I got back to the house, Jake was out getting pizza. And what did I do? You just sat there. I just like to sample the local water here. Oh, that's right. Which is Deer Park water, which is pretty good. Is that craft?

We're proud of our water here. You're right. It is no Arrowhead, but it's not bad. Dan allowed me to splurge a little because the generic off brand was half the price, but he was like, you know what? Treat yourself, fella. You've earned it.

That's right. You want the $2 more? Yeah. Tonight is kind of special. That's right. Michael Winslow is 66. The Police Academy. There you go.

That sounds exactly like him. Chris Christie is 62. Damn, dude. That's arguably one of Trump's funniest tweets. Go on. Somebody took a photo of Chris Christie at a buffet after he had a bad night at a debate. And somehow this ended up in Trump's hands. I mean, dude dude he's so fat

and trump was like yeah somebody can so are you looking at it yes it's like somebody consoling themselves at a buffet tonight like just and trump is not like a fit guy you know but he can just shit on this person for being fat, and everyone's like, hilarious. Christy, he's eating right now. He can't be bothered. Funniest president ever, no matter what you want to say about him. It's not even close.

Yeah. Millard Fillmore. Dude, look at this picture. Millard Fillmore was a blast, is what I heard. I think, yeah, he was... Look how big he looks. And Trump tweeted, Chris Christie at a Roy Rogers at 11pm in the evening trying to console himself.

Look who's computer's working again. That's right. When it comes to Trump stuff. Yeah, all of a sudden. Oh, yeah. He's got a Trump hot spot. That's right. Roger Waters is 81. Don't get it. I bet you do, though.

Get what? The way he kind of switched sides, almost. No, I just, I don't get the Floyd. All right, look at your screen. There's Chris Christie in baseball pants. Oh, my goodness. I could strike him out. Yeah. Why don't you Here's Chris Christie in baseball pants. Chris Christie wants to throw out a first pitch.

Oh, my goodness. I could strike him out. Yeah. Why don't you start there? No problem. He looks like Hideki... Arabu? The fat toad? Chad Coleman is 57.

He was on the wire. Cuddy. Oh, damn. The boxer? He's also been in Always Sunny. That's right! Yeah. I completely forgot about that. Rapper birthdays, we have

Noriega, 47. Wow. That's a blast from the past. Foxy Brown, 46. Great movie. And Lil Xan, 28. Lil, not little. Should I know that one, Blake? Great movie And Lil Xan 28 Lil Not little Should I know that one Blake?

No Okay You know who it is right? Nah Okay Alright I just thought Is he naming himself after

A drug? Xanax? Lil Xanax Why did you just sound 100 years old? Dope Is he naming himself after a drug? It used to be cool.

Now it's just like, oh, yeah, I'm going to pop a bunch of Xanax. I don't think it was ever cool, dude. It was bad. It's all right. Okay, well. And our Jake birthday of the day, Todd Palin is 60. Wow. Divorcee, I believe.

The former first gentleman of Alaska. He Naland Paland. Yeah. Good for him. Yeah. That's right. Way to go. They have, like, an extremely weird family situation.

Right? Like, I don't know. I think one of their kids, like, abuse. Maybe Todd was accused as part of this. Just physical? I don't know. It's better to say just, I mean, right? That's where you could put just.

Yeah. If you are doing some abuse of a kid. Like, where is punching your kid in the face, like, better than something else? Well, you know know the word abuse there could be another word in front of that that's a lot worse i think than than physical abuse this is hilarious though not what you just said uh palin filed for divorce from sarah this is in 2019 citing quote incompatibility of temperament didn't know that was an option. I feel like that's just being married. Incompatibility of temperament.

Born on this day, now dead, Joseph Kennedy. He is the father of JFK, RFK, and TFK. I'm just guessing Ted's middle name begins with an F. Perhaps not. And Norman Woodland, he invented the barcode. Okay. Yeah, I guess.

Are you just amused that Blake was so tickled by it? It's a very useful invention. Okay. You think he made a lot of money off of it? How do you monetize that? It's amazing. Actually, it's white, isn't it? How do you monetize that? It's amazing. These black little stripes can... No, actually, it's white, isn't it?

Doesn't it read the white part? Interesting. Here's a barcode guy. I think you're right. Is it the same way with QR codes? It reads the white? I believe so. I don't know.

I definitely don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Hmm. I definitely don't know. Yeah, I don't know, man. If it would read the white, it would be right. Yeah. Dead on this day, still dead. We have, in 1978, Adolph. Of course. You know, back in 19...

That's probably about... The name Adolph is not a thing now, right? Do you know anyone named Adolph? No, we pretty roundly phased that one out. So he was that bad? But we have heard Dolph. You'll hear an occasional Dolph. But no, like babies.

It's not real on the list. Anyway, Adolph Dassler. Yeah, check your popularity chart. How's Adolph doing? I'm positive that it's declining. Yeah. Like, he's so bad, you certainly... Just like, totally.

You don't want a last name. You don't even get... You can't wear the mustache, and you can't even have his first name. No, it's pretty bad. And, you know... Like, what if it was Steve Hitler? You certainly would still have Steve's.

Well, you still have Joseph's. Arguably killed more people. Stalin. Yeah, that's what Jake always says. Hey, dude, Stalin, though. And then everyone looked at me like I was the bad guy when I wanted to name my son Pol Kemp. They're like, that's off the table.

Oh, man. Adolf Dassler founded Adidas. Which stands for? All Day a Dream About Sex. 2012, Art Modell. Who invented the? Asshole. He didn't invent the asshole.

We talked about him just two days ago. Jake wasn't here. He invented the doubleheader. The preseason double header. Preseason football double header. Yeah, but he had a real opportunity to do something better, and he didn't. Play the games at the same time on the same field. That's right.

So he invented a preseason football double header where he'd fly like the Jets and the Giants in here. They'd fill up that big stadium and have two games back-to-back. But, yes, these guys the other day were – Danny and Blake said – Just 22 on 22. You won at the same time. Kick off at the same time in opposite directions. They're just going different ways and sometimes –

You've got a drive going on down here. It'd be like one of those vibrating football games from the old days. Remember that? With the football. Okay. Yeah, I like it. So really a good day in Cleveland history this day in 2012. Because you got him out of here?

Art Modell died. Alright. Wow. Guys are applauding a death. That's right. That's what we do here. Mark Modell. In a segment that featured Adolf Hitler.

No, let's applaud the death of Art Modell. Dolphy was okay, but that Art Modell, god damn it. You definitely had a Muck Fodell shirt, didn't you? I absolutely had a Muck Fodell shirt. I wish I could find that. I had Huck the Fuskers. There you go. Getting away with the tuskers. There you go. Getting away with the t-shirt.

Well, anyway, we'll do this again Monday. Yeah. Possibly live stream. I don't know. Ooh, okay. We'll see. Hey, whoa. Hey.

Confidence has waned. And if you're ever in Cleveland, please stop by the Brothers Lounge. Give some big tips to the manager. Yeah. So he could stop asking me for money. And, you know, my brother is the manager, actually. Did I tell you that they didn't name this after? Yep.

Yeah, we covered it. Okay. Yep. Adios, mofo. We've got to go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want can be part of the fun. You're the winner at every game. That's where the excitement begins. So catch Indian fever. Be a believer with the Cleveland Indians.

Indian Fever It starts with the very first inning Indian Fever Each game has a brand new beginning It's the hits, the homers, the double plays It's how you feel when we win So catch Indian Fever With the Cleveland Indians