The Dumb Zone FREE - DZ 9-9-24: Observations from the game, Cowboys destroy Browns, Tom Brady's first broadcast

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneLive show from The Brothers Lounge in Cleveland. We begin with a major show announcement. We went to the game yesterday and have plenty of observations. Are the Cowboys dominant? Or did they play a pedestrian team? Downtown stadiums are the way to go and settling this rinse/no rinse after brushing your teeth debate. (00:00) - Open (11:12) - We went to the Browns game, Cowboys destroy Browns (01:11:45) - Tom Brady's first broadcast (01:49:43) - News (02:01:50) - Viewer Mail (02:15:47) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, long-time professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of a man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you will get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program.

The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza. I just stayed in my hotel room, man. Every time I look out my window, it's pretty depressing out here, man. It's bad. It's bad. So you're not going out? No. No going out in Cleveland, man. It's all factories. Do you regret anything that you said about Cleveland? Not at all.

Do you like it? Do you think Cleveland's cool? I mean, I never heard anybody say, I'm going to Cleveland on vacation. What's so good about Cleveland? All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Cleveland! Hello, everybody. I'm Dan McDowell.

I'm Jake Kemp. I'm Blake Jones. Video man won't talk, but he's here too. We're live streaming today, correct? I hope so. Oh, we're not positive about that? All right. We'll hear about it, we're not positive about that? All right. We'll hear about it if we're not.

Well, we're also broadcasting live to tape, though. We are doing that. Just for later. Super serving. We're pretty sure we're recording, too. Okay. We're pretty sure about a lot of things. Not 100% on any of them currently.

Well, see if there's hearts flying up. Then you'll know somebody's seeing it. Yeah, send us hearts, chat. Anyway, we broadcast live today, we think, from Cleveland. We're definitely in Cleveland. That part, 100%. Yes. Where it's a beautiful morning. It is.

Weather's nice. It's been a beautiful weekend. You know, a little chilly one of those days. At no point yesterday when you guys were shaming me for not having long sleeves did I feel cold. Never. Touche. It did feel good yesterday at the whole game. The wind off the...

Of course, you left like... I said you'd feel cold in the fourth quarter. And I was not there for the fourth quarter. Yeah. You know what? That was surprising. No one was cold in the fourth quarter. And I was not there for the fourth quarter. Yeah. You know what? That was surprising. No one was there for the fourth quarter. Including the Browns defense.

That's right. Am I right? That's right. Yeah, man. That's right. Mass exodus mid-third quarter, which I was a part of. Jake said this a couple times. But the times that he's been in Cleveland, like the weather's been great, and I have to agree.

Yeah, what are you guys bitching about? It's been fantastic. It's awesome. Low 60s. I thought it rained the one day. Saturday was the day that I thought, this is Cleveland. Or maybe it was even Friday when we were leaving here. Yeah, it was Friday.

It was a little bit cloudy that day. I was describing it to you driving home. This is what I remember. This is the gray. The film. Yes. Yeah, the dust over everything. The dirt. But it's sunny and 60 outside. The rust today is a nice day.

Nice walk this morning. Oh yeah? Yeah. Dude, I got so many steps yesterday. Yeah, I can tell you what you didn't do. Hit me. What didn't I do? You didn't do what Video Man did. Do you feel like he had more steps? He's not in the game.

He woke me up bragging about it. He can't be in the game. Screw you. Here's exactly what happens. You're comparing me against Jordan. Here's exactly what happens. I sleep on the couch downstairs. How much? $18,000. Almost $19,000. That's pretty good Here's exactly what happens. 18. I sleep on the couch downstairs. How much?

18,000. Almost 19. That's pretty good for you, I guess. Whoa. He comes downstairs and he says, what's up, bitch? Mm-hmm. And then he tells me how many steps he had the day before. This is like a little mating ritual that the two of us have had over the last few days.

I got 20.5K yesterday. But I had a special... And I'm not even going to bring mine up. What did you do there, little fella? I was just bragging how I've doubled my usual output. That's good for you. And I was dying. I went straight to bed last night. Anyway.

That's why you wanted those ice bags. You put them on your knees, didn't you? $15,000. Okay, that's good. You're only supposed to get 10. That was extremely condescending. No, no, no. For you.

Speaking of ice, which one of you guys filled up those ice trays? I didn't. That's a clutch move. I think that's the super host. Wow. When you come to Cleveland, you get ice in your ice trays. Now the ceiling might leak on you. It is the super host.

We almost had a Breaking Bad bathtub come through the ceiling. I was kind of afraid. I told Jake not to take a bath. He just won't stop. He loves baths. Even though there was no bath. I was just laying down in the shower. Well, actually, our shower turns into a bath.

It does. It's troubling. Did it this morning, though? The guy was there to fix it yesterday. No, he fixed it. Yeah. But for some reason, every Airbnb shower drain does not work. So two observations about the bathroom currently.

One, everything I had got soaked because it just didn't drain. And two, he doesn't keep his toothbrush in the bathroom anymore. I learned my lesson. I noticed this morning. I'm like, oh, I only see one toothbrush.

I will take it now and put it right back in my bag. Yeah. Man, a lot of toothbrush follow-up. I don't know if I'll have time for that today. Yeah. Yeah. We have so much to do because we also... So today is... Victory.

Victory Monday. Victory Monday. Another win. All the winning. You know, there's only one team that's won more games over the last three seasons, Dan. Now do playoff games. Okay. Back to Dan. Well, it's a big day. Somewhat's a big day, somewhat of a big day.

It's a mild day. For us, it's big. For everyone else, it's a tumbleweed across the landscape of Dallas-Fort Worth media. But for us, it's show number 230. And do you know show number one of your little friends, your little engine that can't, the Dumb Zone, with their television debut. Wow.

Over-the-air television debut. This is not. It's all the rage these days. Not Twitch television. Twitch TV or YouTube or, yes. What was the one? Kick? That was short.

Yeah. Blake was so stoked on Kick. They paid you by the hour. It seemed like a good bit. Dude, I bought so much stock in Kick. And I couldn't because I had dumped everything into Quibi. Yeah, that failed. Yeah.

Good idea, though. It was a great idea. That's what I was told. Good idea, though. It was a great idea. That's what I was told. Tonight and every Monday through Friday at 9 p.m., you can tune in to KDFI Channel 27 right after GMFB. That is the NFL Network's syndicated program.

Jake is obsessed with this show. For a couple reasons, but yeah. Just because they call it Good Morning Football. It was a very funny way to wake up every day during football season, and it would be on my television when I was taking care of the kid, and it would say, Good Morning Football. And I'm like, yes, exactly. Good Morning Football.

Good Morning Football. Happy football. Yeah. They also have a proclivity for hiring very talented female broadcasters who apparently are now coworkers of mine, so I probably shouldn't have said that. Talented is a great word. Yeah.

It encompasses a lot. Yep. Yes, so we will be on TV. Apparently, they're like, we're not sure how much of you we want, so it's a half-hour program. Seems plenty. It's more than zero.

Yeah. And stemming off of the brilliance that was the DZRV, what if we just call this little thing DZTV? I believe that very talented minds have agreed with your creative decision there. So that's what we're going to go with. So tonight at 9 o'clock, head over to KDFI Channel 27. And if you watch us or listen to us today, then you could go there and say, well, how did they edit down to, like, how would you take two and a half hours of unbelievable goal?

How are you going to just get a half hour out of that? Yeah. Will you have to smoosh us down like the city of Cleveland and just fast forward? Yeah, they may have to hit two times speed just to get it all in. Man, I tried a 1.5 speed on a Brian Curtis podcastis podcast on friday i can't do it dude i've tried it too yeah i can't like i can maybe do it for just editing audio like if i gotta fly through a press conference or something like that but if it's something that i actually want to enjoy take in i can't do it i like it because you listen on two times speed, and then you go back to normal speed,

and they're like, you sound drunk. And I can't believe, like, when people send it to us, and they're at, like, 1.75 of our show, like, it makes me insane. I don't know. Should we do a promo for Channel 27 right now? Yeah. Hey, welcome to DZTV. Boy, this was well thought out.

It's the dumb zone on TV. That's right. Like you've never seen us before in 4K. I'm gonna say. Yeah. Probably just 1K for now. There's at least a K. There's a K. Right at a K. Yep.

HD? Or did they put us on the old thing? No. We're right at a K. Yep. HD? We're in HD. Or did they put us on the old thing? No, we're on HD. Oh, okay. See, there you go. Yeah. Look how great Jake looks on HD. We're wearing makeup now.

So that's our promo. Yeah, look at that. Look at that. And hey, here's the thing. It's nine o'clock. The kids are asleep. That's right. Let's party.

We could do anything we want right now. And we could say. Whatever the hell we want. Whatever the hell we want. Whatever the hell we want. Yeah. Apparently the guy who edits the show is deciding that. Let's just keep it cool. Maybe not anything you want.

You know, on DZ, we could say whatever the fuck we want. Okay. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to go ahead and mark that. Yeah. Take that out. Take that out. Take note there.

That completely shot the promo. Yeah. Oh, darn it. Take that out. Take that out. Take note there. That completely shot the promo. Yeah. Oh, darn it. Do it again. What'd you guys think of the Cleveland Browns experience? A downtown stadium. We had my buddy Joe from the Cavs picked us up. What a guy.

And drove us to his Cavs parking, which is pretty sweet to have on game day. Dan was so impressed by his ability to just whip between buildings and get us where we were supposed to be. Weren't you? Like, he got around all the traffic. What did you call it? The Godfather entrance?

Or the Goodfellas entrance? You've never seen Goodfellas? No. Okay, that's my number one movie. I was going to say, if we're going to do this monthly exchange. Is that the movie for September? It should be. I'll say because then you'll get me my awesome references. And then we'll have

to watch Little Nicky or something from below. No, I was telling you the one I wanted, The Internship with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. That's right. Where they get internships at Google. Sounded awesome. That does actually. It was a good premise and you were messing all over it. No, but yeah.

Yeah, what did you guys think? Dude, you know, people get mad at me when I say this about Philadelphia because Dallas and Philadelphia are rivals, I suppose. But can I say it about here? This is a better place to go to a sporting event. Oh, for sure. It's awesome. That little strip that we

went down that i think rob went back to last night right what was it called that was like sixth right east sixth street awesome perfect place if you're a douchebag that's what i was gonna say i was like i was from a song that i was expecting douchebaggery but it was really cool just bars everywhere and people hanging out and have a good having a good time and it's also like uh maybe this is the part about it that's like less philadelphia people are not like combative now i didn't have my cowboys gear um no but a lot there was a lot of cowboy fan walking there were a lot of cowboy fans but even in the stands i mean it was pretty obvious where my allegiance was nobody was like over the top rude about it or I don't know. I love it here.

I really do. Jake got a shirt out of the Airbnb dryer. Yeah. Which I think threw you off. So to go back to what happened yesterday, all of my clothes got soaked. And we did not have time by the time that Joe arrived to get all the clothes dried. So there was a shirt down there, and I said, I'm going to wear this shirt. It was like a bowling shirt.

But it wasn't a bowling. It was a T-shirt, but it had bowling stuff on it. But it had funny bowling slogans on it. Yeah, there were a lot of bowling puns. Like, I'm not bowling tonight if, and then it listed like 10 things. Well, let me go through your thought process, though. Okay, everything's soaked. You need a shirt.

You've got three friends here of similar size, and you decide, I want to take a random shirt from an Airbnb that we're staying in that some other guy is. What if there was AIDS on that shirt? I don't think that's how that works. AIDS cannot be transmitted through a shirt? My bowling excuses. Yeah.

And then it simply lists... Just think of all the funny things you could say for that. Yeah, yeah. It's amazing they could fit him on a shirt. This place right here? The lane is too oily.

My thumb got stuck. The pins won't carry. This building right here was amazing. What'd you get, a tee? Don't concern yourself with what I got going on over here. Blake just got a tea delivered to him. I've never seen anybody get a tea.

Boy, look at this service. Thank you. And you don't want to go to France? Look how tiny that cup is. Look at his little cup. Put it on camera. No, no, no, not that one. Oh, that's probably the cream.

Cream. Okay. Yeah. Just a dollop. A dollop. Yeah, so whatever that building uh that we just had on the screen there it's called the arcade yeah the uh that was amazing that was really cool and it's it's attached to a hotel but it's kind of like a little walking mall and that would be a good place to when i worked downtown many years ago that would be a place to go for lunch a lot of of places just open, you know, 11 to 3, and that's it.

It was cool. Yeah. You can just tell walking through downtown there's a lot of history there. Cleveland! It's very cool. Yes, a downtown stadium, and it actually does create a lot of, you know, what do you call it? Not commerce, but.

It's not the same as Texas Live. Right. Money for local businesses. Economic development. Yeah. These are local, actual, and they're going to move that stadium. Do you know that? What?

It was a big topic of conversation yesterday was either it's getting moved or they're going to somehow retroactively dome that one. Yeah. Yeah. On a day like yesterday, that seems criminal. Yeah, but like you were saying, it's only like that for one game a year, two games a year before it gets just blistering cold. It gets very cold, like I said, fourth quarter. Sorry.

But that's like part of the charm. I guess I can't really say that considering I haven't been here for that part of the charm, but I do feel like that's like part of the charm. I guess I can't really say that considering I haven't been here for that part of the charm, but I do feel like that's like a cool thing. And I got to tell you, dude, that's like the loudest I've ever heard in NFL stadium that's not covered. Now that waned pretty quickly.

Before y'all talk about the game, but just being able to park downtown, you know, we get out, we walk through the 6th Street, we get a slice of pizza downtown. It was just all a part of the experience where if you just park in Arlington at the Walmart, there might be a Chicken Express. That's missing.

We don't get that. Which I would absolutely do spots for if you'd like to contact us. Same thing with LA when we went to that stadium. There's nothing between your parking and... Yeah. And that's...

It's all part of the game day experience. And then the tailgating... You hook them up. The tailgating is... The tailgating is like a college game. Yeah.

As loud... People care. It's really cool. People... I... From what I understand, people used to show up like Friday night

to start their tailgating and they have limited that. Now, was it Saturday they let them in, or was it Sunday morning? It was either Saturday night, overnight, or Sunday morning, because one of our listeners texted us and said, I've been in the Muni lot since 5.30 Eastern time. That game was at 4.25. And it's –

I was like, dude. I had another listener say that Miles Garrett was in the Muni lot, and I thought he was just trying to get us to go. Like I thought he was lying. But sure enough, Miles Garrett was there. Donovan Mitchell was there from the Cavs. Did you see the Donovan Mitchell clip then? It's a community experience there.

I didn't see the clip, but I saw his car. Joe identified it as we walked in. He's like, boy, that's got to be done. Like, it's like a one-of-a-kind. Did not know that. Some kind of an amazing vehicle. He does make like $40 million a year. Yeah, probably afford it. The clip is he's bowling with a keg,

which apparently is a thing that people do here. Like, he's got an empty beer keg, and they have, you know, pins, and he bowls a strike with a keg. Okay. Then people go nuts. Lane wasn't too oily for him, apparently. No. No excuses for his bowling.

That is a funny excuse. Yep. So Channel 27. Yeah, Channel 27, every night, Monday through Friday. And I should mention, because we are live streaming today, this is new for Cowboys season. It's announcement season. Every Monday, we will live stream, you know, Cowboy Monday.

Or even if the Cowboys play Monday night, we're going to live stream Monday just to get the Cowboys stuff out there early just to, I don't know, why are we doing it? I'm trying to come up with some excuses. Because we want to. Because we want to. We can. And because we can.

That's right. And because we're going to. Yes. So we will live stream every Monday, Football Monday. Man. So I started yesterday in nine different football bits. This guy's been. And how many are you down to? He has been going through it. So I've tried to pare my things down

and I've only just, the problem is I'm too nice and everybody, I just want to be friendly to everybody who invites me into their thing. So I'm in fantasy football, of course, the Landry Cup. Been in that for like 20 years. I can never get out of it, but it looks like my team is absolutely horrible and I might just give up the season right now. Or just start going crazy with trades. I might do that. Yeah, my team sucks. Marvin Harrison Jr. is my lead wide receiver. Did you see the clip of him? Yeah, wide open. Like for the possible game-winning touchdown? Yeah.

That hurts. And he might as well have scored that because that made me lose my bills. I think my bills was my lot. Yeah, it's all merging together. The whole matrix just battling each other. Right, because the bills won by six, which sounds great, unless you think that they were favored by six and a half, which they were. Ouch.

And that effed me. Ouch. So I'm in Jared's little gambling or whatever. Sorry, Jared. Game-picking thing. I'm so beaten by it already after week two. I'm in my Monopoly game, and that's the one I'm doing really well in because they give you $10,000 of fake money to bet.

And so I thought, you know what? I got to go, if not all in, most in. And yesterday morning I said, let's go $7,500 of this fake money, $10,000 I have for the season on the Cowboys. Nice. Because this guy got to me. I have for the season on the Cowboys. Nice. Because this guy got to me. He's like, dude, they're great.

They're a great regular season. Like, whatever. They're a juggernaut. Look at the point differential in last year's team. I mean, they outscored their opponent by like 200. Yeah, and the final yesterday was not indicative of what happened. They destroyed it. It was a garbage time touchdown to get Cleveland to 10.

It was not that – I mean, I believe you actually said on Friday, it's not going to be like last year's week one. It kind of was. It doesn't look quite as gaudy, but, yeah, they're very good at beating average teams. I mean, five – Or maybe the Browns are just bad. I mean, five knockout leagues, including the dumb zone knockout league. Okay.

Yeah. I'm not anymore. That one. I'm out of that one. What did you pick? That one took a hit. I took the Commanders. Why?

I don't know. Wait, who do they have? The Bucks. Baker Mayfield. Baker? Who was dealing as Deshaun Watson was airmailing every single pass. Every friend of mine in Cleveland has alerted me to that. Yeah.

It's so Cleveland. It was a topic of conversation in the stands, I can tell you that. Have you guys taken a look at Deshaun Watson's cap hit? Should they, like, let's release him after this season. It's like $80 million million next year's dead money would be 172 million dollars it's like 70 of the cap isn't it no they're they're stuck with him if they wait two years 99 million if you. If you can hold on until 2027, then you would just have to eat $26 million of dead cat money. Dude, and the craziest thing about it is,

I don't know that I've ever seen somebody have an off-the-field issue that just ruined them. Like, he was really, really good. He was an elite college player. He was pretty good as the Tex texan starting quarterback and then he gets in trouble and it's i'm not saying what he did was okay but it's not like he went to jail like michael vick went to jail yeah and came back and was like all right i'm still michael vick yeah kind of deshaun watson just had he's just had super creepy, potentially illegal public issues.

And then he just forgot how to play quarterback at the NFL level. He's sailing everything. And he also looks... You watch him and you're like, dude, nothing about this guy inspires confidence in me at all. He looks like he doesn't want to be out there. I don't think his teammates like him very much either. Doesn't appear that that's the case. Now, not having Nick Chubb, losing in Joku, those things matter, but still.

He never wanted to be here, though. No, he wanted to go to Atlanta, right? Yeah. And so Cleveland decided, well, let's guarantee. The whole freight. The whole thing. Making NFL history. And he is awful.

He's awful. He's awful. Do they ever bench him? You can't, right? You just have to. To, again, recount to you some of the things that were being brought up in the stands yesterday, Jameis got very popular by about the second quarter. You know what you're getting. Not quite as popular as Trey Lance at Cowboys camp,

but there were some Jameis murmurs. Wouldn't you take a 30-30 year over Deshaun Watson right now? Well, look how good they were last year without Deshaun Watson. Flacco. Flacco. They have a good team around them. It's unbelievable. They have a good team around them. It's unbelievable. They're a hard watch.

But the Cowboys, man, that might be a case, too. It's possible that you're just sitting here looking at a really, really good team against an average team. Because the Cowboys are a really good team, man. Yeah, and, you know, you're 20% of the way to your 5-0 bet. Most of the teams that they're going to play in that stretch are not better than them. Baltimore at home is the tough one.

Baltimore at home will be the tough one. But, like, the thing I wrote this morning, Mike Zimmer, did we just underrate how big of an addition that is because Dan Quinn was also great? Like, there might be a one-to-one tradeoff, right? Now, they play different. He's going to bring a lot more pressure. Sometimes he'll have an eye patch on, confusingly.

Thank you to the one guy here who remembers the Mike Zimmer eye patch. But, like, if you look at every single position that matters, they're pretty good there. They if you look at every single position that matters, they're pretty good there. They're pretty good at left tackle. They have an elite corner, and they might have another one coming up while Bland's out. They have an elite wide receiver,

and their quarterback's pretty good. Their head coach is pretty good. There's no reason to think that, again, they won't be one of the five best teams in the league. And those teams typically beat the piss out of average to bad teams. Locked up Dak right before the game. So Jerry. So cowboys.

So Jerry, man. Do you think it was calculated to be the morning of steal the news cycle in week one? And it's the exact same contract, maybe even more so, that we've been talking about for six months. It's $60 million a year with 80% of it guaranteed. Yep. We all knew that was going to be the deal.

And it's not like he was great yesterday. He was fine, but didn't really have to do much. You get a turpentine touchdown. Is it just 80% guaranteed? Somebody had sent me an email just talking about how Charles— No, you're right. It's more than that. Charles sent us an email just talking about the cap

and how Dak's deal really does work out in line with other top quarterbacks in the NFL. As a percentage of the salary cap? Yeah, he's 23.5%. Burrow is 24. Allen is 23.5. Herbert, 23. Jackson, 23. Mahomes, 23.

So, okay, on and on. It's kind of in line with the top, top quarterbacks. Okay, yeah, so Dak is, I'm looking at your computer, 23. So, okay, on and on. It's kind of in line with the top, top quarterbacks. Okay, yeah. So, Dak is, I'm looking at your computer, 96. It's 231 out of 240, right? So, that is, my math was incorrect there. And then, so, it's the guaranteed money. According to emailer, the going rate is 65% to 80% guaranteed.

Taylor, the going rate is 65% to 80% guaranteed. But Dak is blowing that away because he has 96% of his money guaranteed. Deshaun Watson, 100%, of course. Justin Herbert, 83%. Stafford, 81%. Goff, 80%. You know, but the thing I think about that is that he said multiple times while they were discussing this deal, like he brought up other quarterbacks and said,

it's on me to get a great deal to help everyone else out. So whatever the next deal for Herbert is, it's going to be more than 83%. Right. Whatever the next deal for me. Even if they're stubborn and I'm not going to 96. Okay, well, you got to get me closer. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, he's brothers in arms, I guess.

He won, without a doubt. Every player wins. Win of the Cowboys won. And next up, it's Micah. That was the other thing I wrote this morning. It's like, he ain't going to be at camp next year. No. Why would he? He'll sign right before week one for the deal we I wrote this morning. He ain't going to be at camp next year. No. Why would he?

He'll sign right before week one for the deal we all thought. And we're going to play the same circus again. And he'll be the highest paid defensive player in the league. Yeah. And we'll have to talk about it for four months leading up to it. And we'll be comparing his numbers against TJ Watt, Miles Garrett. It's the same story over and over. Yeah.

Did you know that today's Cowboy Talk, which we've already kind of launched into because the whole show is Cowboy Monday, is brought to you by Qualis Roofing? I know now. Okay, we didn't preview this very well. Anyway, I was texting with Brian, one of the Brians. I got a lot of Brians over there at Qualis Roofing.

Got to watch out for that. But they were talking about the fact that if you have them out for a free roof inspection, you know how their copy points previously said they'd give you a dumb zone t-shirt for free? Just have them out for an inspection. That's all. Yep.

He's like, what if we also offered, we could offer a year-long subscription to the Dumb Zone. Hey now. Wow. For free. Yeah, and I heard Brian telling you this morning that he actually wears the shirt to the inspection and then just takes it off.

Yeah, he might do that. So if you're into seeing a guy who knows how to fix a roof shirtless, Qualis is your team. They were really great. They did fix our roof. So they have the roof above the Dragon Den of inequality. It's built by Qualis Roofing. And they kind of handled the insurance company for us.

You know how you got to call the insurance company and get it on hold. And then they say, well, no, we need this from your roofing. And then you got to call them. You ever do that back and forth bit? Anyway, Qualis kind of will take care of that all for you. They make it really easy for you. They have a phone number, Jake. They do have a phone number.

It is 817-500-9008 qualis q u a l i s g c.com is their website uh you don't know anything about your roof you probably think it's okay i thought it was it's probably not like this thing's messed up man yeah well just get inspected and you get a free year of the dumb zone how How about that? There you go. They were trying to take care of it before something crashed through the roof. Before we have to put pots in the kitchen. I was going to say, perhaps at our Airbnb, they could use a little Qualys roofing. Take care of that. It's not so bad.

You walk around a pot, and then you can... It's great, and you need some drinking water for later? Just tip that pot right in your mouth. That's right. So Cleveland need some drinking water for later, just tip that pot right in your mouth. That's right. So Cleveland. Not if Qualis comes out, though. No, no, no. Definitely not.

QualisGC.com. Good peoples. How about that? How seamless was that? So I actually had press pass. Oh. And I sat in the. Look at this guy.

You put on your little Grantland Rice hat. Dude, you never have to flash your press pass because I just... Has he ever told you his story? What? Wasn't it...

Was it Rhys Davis? Are you allowed to say this? Fowler, Chris Fowler. We are live. Yeah, Chris Fowler just... You, Chris Fowler. We are live. Yeah, Chris Fowler just, you think Chris Fowler's wearing his credential? He just walked into Daryl K. Royal and somebody stopped him and said,

hey, I need to see your credential. And he's like. He looked down to where it was supposed to be and looked back at him and said, if you don't know who I am, then we have a problem. Oh, come on, Chris Fowler. You just got to assume every janitor and elevator operator at these games.

Why not just follow the rules? Yeah. Come on. I mean, what a jerk to ever attempt to attend a professional sporting situation without your press pass that you left at home. Because it was a big TCU at Texas. Herbie's doing the game, and it was really cool. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, that's Chris Fowler.

And then the guy stops him, and I'm locked in on what's going on. And he's like, hey, bro. Well, at Cleveland Stadium. I'm Chris Fowler. You never have to – or Progressive, right? Progressive? No. Progressive Huntington or something?

Yeah, it changed this year. Huntington Bank? Okay. Anyway, at the stadium, you never have to flash your press pass because they have facial recognition. Whoa. And you just look into a little thing every time, and then it pops up Dan McDowell and blah, blah, blah.

That's not terrifying at all. Yeah. So, like, they never look at your pass. You just look into the little thing, and then they let you through. We – so I actually did a little pregame meal. They have salmon. Really? Yeah.

Nice press box spread. Unfortunately, I had the salmon because then I saw they had a pasta bar. I could have gone there. Man. Yeah. But I just went salmon because I'm a pasta bar. I could have gone there. Man. Yeah. But I just went salmon because I'm a regular Joe. So I just,

I only had salmon before the meal. In the press box, saw Sam Gannon, my co-worker. Yeah. That's right. At KDFI.

Does she work at KDFI? Same umbrella. We're kind of under the same umbrella, yeah. We're under the same umbrella. If you haven't figured it out, we do have our studio is kind of in the Fox 4 building downtown. It's not kind of.

Is that a big announcement? I don't think we kept that under wraps like we were supposed to. Oh. We tried. We did for a while. Yeah. Anyway. It's tough to remember to always take the thing off.

Yeah, the badge kind of says Fox on it. But I got a little half hug from Sam Gannon. I didn't stand up. I was eating my salmon, and she walked over. You took a sit-down hug? You hugged her hip? And I just, I did a reach up, and then my buddy, I was introducing her to my buddy Joe. Then he stands up.

Yeah, like a gentleman. And I'm like, should I have, now I can't stand up now. Like for another, okay, give me the real hug and then that's real seedy, you know. It is, but I don't know that it's more seedy than a sit down hug. Yeah, that's weird. Like that's what your grandma does because she can't get up. Yeah, she's unable. I did have food right in front of me.

Okay, let's ask the bartender. What do you think about a sit-down hug? I'm just telling. Awkward. Awkward. Thank you. Yeah. Well, that's.

I've been in those situations before. Saw Saad. Good dude. Love Saad. Yusuf. Saw Tim Kalasha. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Who is always baffled when he sees us out in the wild. He thinks that we just disappeared and went in a hole. Yeah. Who is always baffled when he sees us out in the wild. He thinks that we just disappeared and went in a hole. Yeah. Because he's not aware of whatever media we're doing now. He's surprised we stopped jobs. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

On the sideline, I got to go on the field before the game. I had a field pass. Very cool. You've done that before, right? I mean, I know you did it at Clemson, but I didn't know if you'd done it here the last time you were with Rafa. Yeah, I don't know if I did it here,

but anyway, it was very cool. They do have natural grass surrounded by the fake grass. Okay. And I got to interact with Bernie Kosar. No way. Wow. Did you tell him how much you've been enjoying his Joe?

Yeah. Did you tell him about his coffee? Oh, I forgot that I have a Kosar coffee. Damn. You should have seen Dan. I should have said, hey, Kosar coffee. When he noticed he could buy it. We were walking through the supermarket.

We're getting water. He's getting his yogurt and apples. And we're walking along. And then there's this display of Kosar coffee. And he's walking. He goes, holy shit, Cozart Coffee. And he goes and buys a bag of it. Like, it's obviously some coffee company.

They're like, hey, Bernie, can we slap your name on this? It's 100% the car dealership rule. What do you think? He's out there collecting beans and making it himself? No, but I'm like, oh, this is probably great. Bernie Cozart has moved to Peru. No, highly unlikely. You should have told him, though. It is crazy, though.

I think the only time I've done it was at Arrowhead. Because we have a guy who listens who works for the Chiefs. Everyone is so much bigger than you think. Yeah, especially in pads. And so much faster. Even in just warm-ups. Like, I've been on the field for a bunch of college games.

It's night and day. I saw Andrew Siciliano on the sideline. How were his ears? You know why? Yeah, he flew away. Dumbo? Apparently, he's from Cleveland don't know if you guys knew that

I respect him a lot in the same way that I respect Windhorst because they've been able to succeed at television despite having like a very defining

characteristic that is highly unattractive like it's not like he can lose ear weight like Wynhorse could lose his gut, but I respect it. He's succeeding. He is the Browns' new radio play-by-play guy. For real.

Because Jim Donovan, who you've heard many times on Homer Call, has some cancer situation. Has cancer, I guess. I wish you'd have laughed at this. Has some cancer. I was laughing at the way that you said that. Yeah. Not the cancer.

Well, I mean, if you laugh, it will diminish its ability to hurt you. And it helps you. Maybe. Yes, laughter is the best medicine, they say. Yeah, so that's why I was just surprised that I'm like, why is Andrew Siciliano here? So that's my pregame fun. And then we get to the game.

And gosh darn it, golly gee, if Jake wasn't right on a prediction, made, what was it, February? What day did they sign Zeke? Do you remember this prediction? Yeah, but you're wrong, though. Didn't he get the first carry of the season? Second. I thought he was.

I'm 95% sure Terp got the first one. Interesting. I don't remember off the top of my head. Only reason I feel like I'm correct about this is because I was very locked in on this. Okay, you could be correct, but I was... But he was the second one, though. All right. Yeah.

And... So you didn't cash in on that. He was their leading rusher. Dude. At 40 yards. He didn't look that bad. He didn't look that bad. Kind of had a little burst.

I hate it. My buddy Joe is like, he looks thinner. He looks a little faster. I'm like, eh. Dude, he's way thinner. Yeah, he's right. First carry? No, no, no.

I'm saying, like, he looks good. Oh, okay. Yeah, he got that swing pass and ran for 10. Yeah, it's a... I mean, he got some garbage yards. He was third and 20 on that first drive. Let's hand it to Zeke. We'll get him a nice eight here.

It'll make the overall average look a little better. But, you know, early on, and so this is way, way, way early on. I don't know. Maybe this is going to be a tough game. Yeah, Cleveland, tough defense. Yeah. Stopped him right away. No, Zeke did get the first carry.

Did he? Man, I could have swore he was second. Okay. I guess I was right again. Well, I was right. I was trying to compliment you and say that you did something right, and you just can't take that compliment. Okay, yeah, Terp was just a return.

Then I thought, I don't know, during the game it was clear, like, Dak and CD, I just wondered if Jerry mandated that they have the same amount of, you know, offensive touches as their percentage of the salary cap. Like, it's just those two going back and forth the whole game, which is great. If you've got a guy like that, go back to the, what, two years ago playoff game against San Francisco? Yeah, like two targets. Yeah, like this is the guy. These are the guys we're paying.

Let's get them open. Figure it out. That's McCarthy. Yeah, it's got to be. And then Ferguson goes down. So there's not a whole lot of other options at that point. Yeah, I'm not really familiar with the game of any of the wide receivers besides Brandon Cook on this – Cook's on this team.

And he was fine. Yeah. And they'll play Turpin more at receiver. You think? He's got to learn to catch. He had a – he's not the greatest when it comes to the hands. But, I mean, CeeDee Lamb can take over a game at any point. At any point, he can break one.

So, he's worth it. You think Zeke's back next year, if you want to make a prediction for next year? There's no way, right? There's no way. Because it's like a one-year, two-and prediction for next year. There's no way, right? There's no way. Because it's like a one year, two and a half million or something like that, right? But how about

when he first did this? When he first did the feed me. Did you see it? Of course I did. Okay. And again, it's the sort of thing that is very, very popular

in the stands. Yeah. I was going nuts. The Cowboys fans go crazy? Oh, yeah. What if we get like a week nine announcement? Cowboys and Ezekiel Elliott agree to a contract extension.

No, their season is going really good. Yeah, they're 8-1. Hold on. They're 8-1. Rico Dowdle got hurt. All of a sudden, Zeke holds out. In the middle of the year. Yes, to demand a new contract or else he's not coming back.

Well, deuce-fawn time. He plays on special teams now. He got a carry. He got a carry. Had a nice block on a couple returns. Okay, nice that you noticed that. I didn't notice him at all. I mean...

What do you think of the new kickoff? I love it. Now that we have a whole weekend of it. I love it. It's still weird to me. It's certainly weird. I forgot to look up the stats, and probably it'll take a little bit to normalize,

but it might have been the Bears, but somebody ran a counter off of it yesterday. Yeah. Which is just something you would never be able to do in a regular kickoff. But they're actually running counter trade plays off of the kickoff. I think once we get into playoffs, we'll start to see them dress up a little bit. Trick plays and whatnot. The Cowboy game, pretty boring on that front yesterday.

But there were a couple of exciting ones throughout the day. Because Aubrey's just going to kick it all the way out of the back of the end zone pretty much every time. Well, he didn't yesterday. Well, he kicked it to the end zone. Yeah, I think they're trying to do that. He's pretty good at aiming exactly where he wants that kick to go, and he's got a pretty consistent,

they're going to catch it like three yards into the end zone. Yeah, but why would you want to just kick it higher? I am not here to complain about Brandon Aubrey. Airtime doesn't matter anymore. Oh, that's a good point. You can't move until they touch it. Yeah, but I still – yeah. What he's trying to do is, yeah, land it at the two or three

because if it hops into the end zone, they get it at the 20. Yeah. Yeah, so you either return it or get it at the 2 or 3 because if it hops into the end zone, they get it at the 20. Yeah. Yeah, so you either return it or get it at the 20. Yeah, he was practicing that a ton before the game for sure. I mean, if we're going to talk Brandon Aubrey, let's talk Brandon Aubrey. Dude, what a robot. What a machine. So what, they roll him out from 66 right before the half.

Yeah, so the end of the half, first of all, Browns. Kevin Stefanski has to be better than this after four years of being a head coach. Was he coach of the year last year? I think he was. Twice. Oh, twice. Wow. So thanks to Joe Flacco last year for sure.

But that right before half, they had like 40-some seconds. They end up giving the ball back to the Cowboys, and the Cowboys almost ended up scoring again. Yeah, they had to punt. Terpiner turned it to about the 40, and then, yeah, one comeback. The clock management, the game management, letting the Cowboys get the ball back is ridiculous.

I don't know that you take a knee with 40 seconds left, but I just think you want to let that clock run down a little bit more. Well, I can tell you when you don't want to take a knee is when you paid a quarterback a quarter of a billion dollars. You would think. That's pretty much the time where

you think all right well we've got a couple timeouts here 40 seconds let's see if we can at least get three on the board so what was it was already 20 to 3 right yes anyway so yeah the cowboys end up with they just have to make one pass and all of a sudden they're in his range quote in field goal range they're in no one's range. 66 yards is the longest field goal in NFL history. Yet, I think you're actually right. They're in his range. Yeah.

No, I mean, we were debating this morning at the house where would it have been good from, and I think it at least had a few more yards on it. It might not have been good from 75, but I think it would have been pretty close from 71 if they attempted it after the been good from. And I think it at least had a few more yards on it. It might not have been good from 75, but I think it would have been pretty close from 71 if they attempted it after the delay game penalty. I don't know where you guys... And McCarthy's freaking out over there,

yelling at the refs. I don't know what happened. I don't know where you guys were sitting, but all the field goals kind of look similar on television. But was it weird seeing him line up on the other side of the 50? Yes. Like in person, it has to be – like, it doesn't compute.

And I really thought they were going to let him take another run at it. The 71? Yeah. If the Browns – yeah, hadn't called timeout. If I can back to the nine different football bits I'm in. The last one I was – that somebody talked me into – you'll be really surprised who told me I should get in this one. Mike Soroy.

Explain the bit, and then I'll guess. He already knows. Oh. Because it's a confusing bit. KT. I'm in a kicker knockout league. What the fuck? So every – yeah, mark that for DZTV.

I'm in a kicker knockout league. Okay. And what that means is every week you pick a kicker. You can't pick the same kicker twice. And if that kicker misses, then you're just out of the league. Kind of like our knockout league for picking a winner, I'm out because in our knockout league I pick Cincinnati.

Can you reuse a kicker? No, no, no. You can't pick the same kicker twice. So that means you're kind of looking at the okay, who's in a dome maybe this week? Who's this? Who's that? Who's odds? Yeah, weather. But I just anyway, KT said, do I want in this?

I got in it. And I picked Brandon Aubrey for my first one because he's our guy. And so now I'm pretty nervous. Oh. First of all, didn't he hit like a 57-yarder earlier? Yeah, there was a 40 and a 57. He made four. But he made 57 like it was

nothing. Yeah. And then, yeah, now they line him up for a 66 and I'm like, okay, I'm going to be out of another knockout league right now. You're happy about the delay of game? No, because he made it. Well, yeah, but I mean, the idea that they might have attempted it.

Then when they were lining up to try the 71, I'm like, oh, my God. Are you kidding me? But I would have liked to see it anyway. I would rather be knocked out and have seen him attempt that. Maybe they decided not to based on the fact that Browns are sending a guy to be a returner. Yeah, that can be a problem.

And, like, why take that risk? We're up 20 to three. I can see why they would pull that back. Do you find yourself getting nervous for him like I do? Yeah, I do. I feel like he's my son. Just because we had him on twice? Or my brother or something.

Yeah, we've met the guy for 10 minutes. Yeah. And I'm like over there biting my nails. Like it was watching my brother play football in college. Remember your steps. Remember the garage. Right. Three steps.

Two over. The mom from Rookie of the Year or whatever in the crowd. I'm like, maybe he'll look over at me and we'll lock eyes. But even after he made that 66 and then they were sending him out theoretically, they were just keeping him out there. Like he didn't change expression at all. He didn't look like, oh, my gosh, really? They're going to have – like he was just like, okay, let's go. Oh, for the 71.

Yeah. I don't know, man. I would like to see it. I think he will set the NFL record for longest kick. Yeah, I mean if Bones has anything to do with it, you know he's over there pleading for it. It's the sort of thing that they would do in baseball. As a bit?

Yeah. Like, hey, let's try this. Let's just try it because it's a record, whatever. Baseball has time. Yeah. Football, not as much. Well, if you're winning games by – although bits, yeah, they just don't let –

they don't like bits as much as football. Yeah. Like if McCarthy was to say, hey, drop a knee right there so that we can give him a chance at the all-time record. I don't think he would do that. Baseball, the sport that famously...

Now I don't know what we can say and can't say. You can say anything and he'll just not use it. We need to do our show. To my knowledge, football never had an owner that put a little person into the game to drum up publicity. Baseball did. Yeah. Yeah.

And gave him a half number. Which was awesome. Or in a fourth, I think. A fourth. Sure. Which is disrespectful, frankly. So, defense? I mean, what can you say, dude?

I liked overshown. He is ridiculously fast for that position. Like, he was tracking sideline to sideline. And, again, he was a super, super cool dude to us. He's pretty light, which I guess might just be like the way that the NFL linebacker is now. He's not a big guy. Mike is not a big guy.

No, especially now. But, yeah, Overshawn is awesome. I thought the – I wish he was wearing zero, though. Why? It's what he wore in college. Okay. And it looked super cool.

Are you not allowed to wear zero in the NFL? I think Jerry actually said no. Though Jerry has a friend who's... Jerry's never had a friend that wore zero, so it doesn't remind him of anyone. Well, that sack... He's awesome. Diggs is awesome.

That sack that he actually ran past Micah on to get the sack does show you how fast he is. And that was a horrible Deshaun Watson. Not sure where you're going with that. He had all day to throw. I think it was a fourth down, but still. Yeah. You've got to get rid of that ball.

You can't take that sack there. He will hold the ball on you. You've got to get rid of that ball. You can't take that sack there. He will hold the ball on you. And the thing is, like, the one thing that he does actually pretty well is he can't escape pressure. Oh, yeah. He got himself out of a two or three.

Got out of that first Micah try. Yeah. And then the next – was it the next play or very soon thereafter, Micah? Not much else. Made sure he wrapped him up. Yeah. What did Micah get, one sack on the day? I think he ended up, he had the sack, he had the tip,

and then like four or five other pressures. Oh, yeah, he caused the interception. Yeah. And then I was actually going back and watching that this morning. He tips the ball, it gets picked, and then he immediately is just headhunting the block. Oh, was he really? Yeah.

Like, okay, now's the part where I'm allowed to just absolutely take somebody's head off, and he did. Dude, they've got some real stars on the team, man. I thought Eric Kendricks was awesome yesterday, too. How about Eric Kendricks? He's the one who had the pick. Yeah. He also, sack?

Tackle for loss? I don't know. Yeah, he had a sack. Two sacks. Okay. D-Law still looks like D-Law. You think like, oh, Kendrick's played for Zimmer. We hear that a lot towards the end of his career.

But he – I mean, he flashed a lot. You're about to say D-Law because I keep waiting for his – Precipitous decline. Yeah, decline. Two sacks as well. Yeah, they have a very legit defense, and Dak is good enough on most days. Brian Anger was in Pro Bowl form.

Banger. Banger. I even look at him like when it's time for the hold. I'm like, great hold, Brian. Come on, Brian. We need a good snap, Trent. I was saying this yesterday at the Airbnb. But – because I – by the way, so I left.

Joe and I left after the Deshaun Watson touchdown drive, which was already kind of garbage time but early in the third quarter. Yeah. And that's when we decided, you know what? What if we weren't here? We've had our salmon. We had the salmon. Things are going well.

But I love the Cowboys line shift. Yeah. I don't know why. I just love it. It's like the one cool thing they have. Their victory't know why. I just love it. It's like the one cool thing they have. Their victory cigar. Yeah. Their one bit, it's their one link

to history. To the Tom Landry. Apparently, would the Cowboys back then do it every play? Yeah. Because it almost seems like tiring. It does seem a little unnecessary. I've never really understood it, to be honest with you. But, yeah, I do believe that was the thing.

And, you know, they let Cooper do it. Yeah. They let the backup go out there. Dan was asking me yesterday, like, why is Micah still in this game with two minutes left? Yeah. And my thought, my conspiracy theory is he wants to get as many snaps at edge

as possible to qualify so that somehow he qualifies for whether it's the franchise tag or because there's no reason for him to be out there i don't think that's a joke man once you said that that is very logical because they can't tell him anything think about who you're talking to yeah the guy who knows everybody's money and knows how the whole game works and can't really be told what to do at this point. It didn't look like – He never comes out of the game. You watched most of the game, right, on TV.

You didn't go to the game. So are they even – every time I saw him, he was on the edge. Yeah, they did a graphic of where he was lining up, and it was mostly at edge. He was over the center a couple times. A couple times, yeah. But I didn't see him at linebacker much. No.

Which maybe you haven't overshown unless you do that. And maybe if you get up 20-3, you don't want to show all your cards. Good times. Like, nothing but good times. I don't know what is a negative coming out of the game, really. Any big injuries? Ferguson. Yeah.

How long? Don't know. What are they saying about Jordan Love these days? Have you read? It's MCL, so. Like a five-week thing? A few weeks. Not the whole year, but at least for like a month.

Man, the NFL being back is pretty great, even though I'm out of like half of my knockout things now. Yeah. But I don't know. Something to do, keep track of, fantasy football. See Kirk Cousins hang 10? Yeah. He didn't do too hot did he no they put up 10 points on the steelers steelers won again jets niners tonight jets niners tonight we're not even done we have a thursday friday sunday monday slate so we have the an overtime game last night which were on the East Coast is like 1 a.m. Yeah.

It's insane. Okay, your thoughts on East Coast time? I'm teetering now. Okay. Yesterday he was anti-sepia. I was very anti. Complaining all day. Because you wake up, you know, looking around. Four hours until the NFL gets going, and we're watching these spare pregame shows.

But I'm a late night person as you guys know yeah and working into the night and still seeing it's like oh third quarter I don't know it's kind of nice to have something on because I'm just used to working late into and nothing is on TV there's nothing to stay up for so it's kind of nice went to bed Friday night watching the Argyle football game that was cool. I was watching him sit there and build that thing. The more time I spend around him, it's very confusing to me how productive he is based on his schedule

because this dude will sleep in on you. Yet he gets like way more done than I could ever imagine. And I think I'm somewhat of a grinder. And he's like, he's sleeping until 10 o'clock in the morning and I'm like, how are you? I've slept hard this trip because I can't at home.

But that's the thing I don't understand about y'all, morning people, is I'm afraid that I would run out of time in the morning. And so if I work late at night, I can take as long as I need to because I need to get my stuff done. Well, the key here, Blake, is you just get up earlier.

I know, but you might run out of, you might underestimate how long something will take. I know that. And I don't like that feeling. I know, but you might run out of, you might underestimate how long something will take. I know that. And I don't like that feeling. I don't like feeling rushed and panicked. I got to go. I need to leave right now, but I have these four things to do. Yeah. I used to always want to go to sleep being fully prepped. Yes. If I just wake up for sure, five minutes before the show, I can still do it. And I feel better going to bed because if I have stuff to do in the morning, I'm thinking, Oh man, I got to get up early. And I think your brain just works better when you first wake up. I think this brain just works better when you first wake up.

I think this is, like, verifiably true based on neuroscience. Yeah. Hmm. But he – no. Don't look that up. I mean, that makes sense. That makes sense. I'm just – I'm not a morning person.

I can't get anything done in the morning. But Blake is an incredible multitasker. So, yeah. And he, like, really cares about Argyle football because he's watching it the whole thing. Friday night. And then he's also on his iPad. He's got, like. Building it.

No. He's got some video. Oh, yeah. What were you doing? Okay. I forgot about this. He's over here yelling and hollering like he's watching a TCU game or whatever he cares about. And I was like,

what's up? And he's like, this Halo tournament is popping. I did not say popping. Bussin'. I didn't say bussin'. I was like, you're watching Halo right now? It's a Halo major. The Salt Lake City major. It's the last major until Worlds. The fifth?

How many majors are there? Well, four and then Worlds. So there Lake City Major. It's the last major until Worlds. The fifth? How many majors are there? Well, four and then Worlds. So there is the fifth. But he was like really, really into it. And I'm like half awake. And I was like, what's up, man? Is there something on I'm missing? Argyle football and Halo is like the few novel things I still have. Cowboy, I don't know. I'm just over college football and the NFL. Yeah, you're doing that. That's real to me, know. I'm just over college football and the NFL. Yeah, you're doing that.

That's real to me, damn it. You're watching college football and the NFL, and you're also cutting up DZTV. Yeah, we got some episodes in the can. Which will be airing tonight and every night, Monday through Friday at 9 o'clock on KDFW. KDFI 27. KDFI. KDFI. KDFI. We'll get it right KDFW is another station in town, isn't it? It's the other one.

God damn it. Come on, man. No, dude. Well, we're not going to use any of this anyway. You're not going to use when I said KDFW. No, but I was going to lead our program with my Halo tournament talk. Well, we can't now. No.

He's got a lot going on. Because I have a potty mouth. Yeah, he's got a lot going on. Because I have a potty mouth. Yeah, he's got a lot going on. But I respect it. He's running a show knockout league. He's watching people play video games. He's up cutting up the first half this morning. He's letting people into the show knockout league way too far.

I just didn't want to leave anyone out. Then you're dealing with people saying, I didn't get in. Can you refund me? It's just a huge mess. But I think we're good now. I 100% predicted this. The whole time you guys were talking about this, I was like, this feels like it's going to be way more work for Blake than it's worth.

Are you sure you want to do this? You know, for charity, I think it's worth it. Oh, he's got the charity play. It's a force field. All right. So, okay. Let me tease ahead because we will take a little break here. It will be very short if you are listening later in the afternoon.

But if you're watching on the YouTube, then you'll see that we're away for a few minutes. Because we were watching college football together on Saturday, which was a lovely time just to spend with my good friends. I enjoy watching the games with you all. And we thought we ran into, like, the worst announcer we would see all weekend. He was bested. Colt McCoy is so bad.

Groans from the crowd. I cannot believe how bad Colt McCoy is so bad. Groans from the crowd. I cannot believe how bad Colt McCoy was. However, you know, if you have a team, let's just say the Cowboys finished this year 2-15. And Carolina finished this year 2-15. Who had a worse year? The Cowboys, yeah. It's all based on expectation, right?

I think you're describing the Big Jim effect. Well, so I'm wondering, who is worse, Colt McCoy or Tom Brady? Find out next. How do you like that? I love it. For a tease. The Dumb Zone. You're listening to The Dumb Zone.

Hey, Raymond wants us to say don't forget the Dumb Zone Day at the ballpark on September 19th. It's next week. It is. And if you're going to the Dumb Zone Day at the ballpark September 19th, attending the game, you can get a special event Dumb Zone t-shirt at dumbzonemerch.com for only $6.90 thanks to Qualis Roofing. Helped them with some t-shirts so like everybody sitting in the section

can wear the same shirt like a bit. Won't that be crazy? I'll have the same thing on and you could be one of those people. They paid a price that evokes

a sex act. Dumbzonemerch.com Order by 9-11 uh guys to hey never forget to receive it in time to wear the uh the game to the game so uh yes never forget that you have to order your dumb zone merch.com t-shirt if you're going to the game and then you could do stuff and then you could be wearing stuff that other people are wearing that's right next to you. And you'd be like, whoa, how cool is this?

Sorry, very awkward here. Here at the Brothers Lounge. We are at the Brothers Lounge once again. This is the bar that my brother. All right. That sounds a lot better than when we first started and there was that guy here.

Yeah, well... I was really wondering if he'd stick it out or if he was like, you know what? I'll just sit and be the only guy watching a show. But luckily,

the Brothers Lounge, to our credit, not open. No. At this time. They don't open till three. Frankly, not really happy we're here. They don't open until 3. Frankly, not really happy we're here. I don't know that they are happy.

We're going to tip well. My brother is the manager, so they had to come in because the manager said you have to come in. I'm pretty sure the waitress spit my coffee. She just confirmed it. Didn't need that. Thank you. Friday, very nice crowd. A lot of people in town from Dallas.

And, you know, it's Friday, so everybody's ready to get some drinking going and all that kind of stuff. And today, I'm not going to say it's not a nice crowd, but just the size is not as hefty. But we do have some of my good old friends are here. We have Amy Ferry over there, who is the owner of the Flying Monkey. So if you're ever in Dallas, or excuse me, in Cleveland,

if you're ever in Dallas, you'll be a very far place, far away from the Flying Monkey. But go to that bar. It's awesome. And then Marianne Rubin, who doesn't own anything that you can go to. Although she did say

she'd make you guys dinner tonight. Oh. If you wanted to have dinner. And I said, no, they don't want to do that. They do not want to go to your house for dinner. Would you at least ask us first? Would have been nice. What do you got?

All right. Do you guys want to go to dinner at Marianne's house? Let's talk about it. I at least want to hear what's on the menu. All right. I know you think you don't. What is it, pierogies? It could be.

Blake had his first pierogie. Do you know what a pierogie is? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, you don't. What is it, pierogies? It could be. Blake had his first pierogie. Do you know what a pierogie is? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, he didn't. No. And you're both from Dallas. Yeah, but I mean.

Jake is cultured. He's been to. I've traveled the world. He's been to overseas before. Those are just called other countries. He's been over there. A lot of times. Whatever you call it.

Yeah. Those long flights. Okay. No, yeah. I Whatever you call it. Yeah. Those long flights. Okay. No, yeah. I'm a big fan. So. Trader Joe actually has a, do you say Trader Joe's or Trader Joe? I don't really know the proper.

No one knows. They have like really, really good frozen ones. Okay. Solid. You got to cook them though, right? Then you eat them. You put it in a microwave. Yeah, that's just called cooking.

Yeah, they're just basically ravioli with potato inside. That was my takeaway. Yeah. It's not always potato. I took these guys to two different restaurants. Well, actually, Rob didn't go the second night. You didn't go the first night. But I went to places that i remembered from my childhood as

being really great didn't hit well the first place we there might have been a drive-by shooting inside it yeah it's called the tiktok tavern and it was well known for ribs and i thought it'd be great you you go and you sit in the booth and it's like all cracked in the middle because it's the same booth since 88 right what's wrong with that well it was fine it was very dirty just you were smelling cigarette smoke that it just like glommed into the walls and it just should i have known that the steak on the menu was 8.95 the allure has not changed since when you were a kid i think the menu is the same menu remember how she's like i can't find many i can only find two menus and they were really cracked yeah they were definitely cracked yeah but as a kid i remember that place being great and then we went to a place called uh beardens. Well. Or maybe Bearden's. But it was a hamburger place that used to be sit down and they would serve you food

and they have a train that goes around. I was about to say, do you want to explain why you wanted to go to this place? I wanted to go there because they have a, so around the perimeter of the ceiling and wall or whatever, they have a train. Okay. Like around the whole room. And I thought it was awesome. they have a train. Okay. Like, around the whole room. Like, and I thought it was awesome.

Not the food they have, not the, you know, the experience or anything. I mean, you could have just gone to see the train and not made them eat there.

Yeah, but then we had the food and it was good. Blake didn't mind the food. I had to take a hair out of my burger, but it's okay. Oh my gosh.

It's okay. Roadkill Cafe action. It's fine. Dude, it was the longest hair I've ever seen taken out. I just said, dude, Chet is coming. This isn't a joke. No, no, no.

It kept doing it. And you continued to eat it? What am I going to do? Do I send it back? It was like a clown thing. You keep pulling out the handkerchief from your... I saw the nice lady that was working in the kitchen, and she was pretty attractive, so I thought, okay, it's fine.

I'm sure she washes her hair. That's how you judge whether or not you'll eat something good. I'm glad you didn't get that in your mouth because it would have been all over. I just, yeah. It would have been the longest piece of floss you've ever had. But the burger was fine. And Dan was right.

There was a train going around the restaurant. And then we went to go get ice cream afterwards. They had a train too. Oh, I didn't notice the train. Really? At Mitchell's? No, I didn't. Yeah.

I was focused on the young lady who wanted to make me my ice cream, who really had a lot of chemistry with. Day four, Dan. Dan falls in love with any female he sees. Had to dump the lady at Avis to make a move on the ice cream lady. We're going back there tomorrow to drop off the vehicle. I might get there a little early. I hope she's not working

for her own good. I hope she is because I bought a box of chocolates. Heart-shaped box. Dan was very confused. I'd never had pierogies before and so I ordered them. He just thought that was really weird that I would commit to a full meal of something I'd never had before. This is Mr. Subway.

Don't you think that's weird? No. He never tried it, and he would have to send it. Like, what if you didn't like it on the first bite? I'm committed to it. You've never eaten it? Yeah. This is how people try new foods.

Maybe, you know, you order pierogies, I'll try one of yours, and if I like it, the next time I'll... No, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to run through this mess. I'll just... Yeah. I mean, you vouched for them. I did say pierogies are good.

They're a big hit in Cleveland or up north. As an example, the first time you ever had sushi, did you go with someone and say, like, let me have one piece of that before I decide? I don't recall, but you're right. Just try new things, man. Like the first time you had salmon, did you just pick off just a piece of someone else's? I don't recall.

You guys, why are you just yelling at me? All right, let's get to Tom Brady. Yes, today's audio is going to be brought to you by the all-new Prosper Ford. It is up in Prosper. It is on 380 and the tollway. It is also online. It's really weird. They've got a website, prosperford.com.

You could go there and kind of see some of the vehicles that you might like to test drive, and then you go there and you've already got that information. You're armed with it. You say, hey, man, how about we try that Bronco Sport? And they will say, well, yes, sir. Let's take you right over here to that Bronco Sports. Right this way. I bought – so Chaz Gilmore owns Prosper Ford.

I bought – boy, this is my old copy from last year. It says I bought three vehicles from Chaz over the – four vehicles. I bought four. And if you count Jake as my surrogate brother, five vehicles. That's correct. Because you bought a vehicle from Prosper Ford. I did, and I miss it. Chaz Gilmore is awesome.

All of his vehicles, or dealerships, I should say, are run with impeccable service, a commitment to excellence. They are built Ford proud over there at Prosper Ford and Grapevine Ford. Prosper Ford, though, is located at 380 and the Tollway and at prosperford.com leading us into tom brady audio i think it would be a good um kind of a tie-in if you were to play first the pre-game audio because that actually refers to tom brady right it does yeah so

i i like alex smith uh i've always thought he was you know a pretty interesting guy um but now He does, yeah. So I like Alex Smith. I've always thought he was a pretty interesting guy. But now they're working him into the ESPN pregame broadcast. And they did a really, really weird thing yesterday. You were watching this with me, right? Yeah. It's called the quarterback room. And I guess the point of this is that Alex Smith was a guy who was drafted super, super and then when he was in Kansas City they brought in Patrick Mahomes and he's just like he's going through hey

here's the dynamic of the quarterback room which not to overrate my brother's own experience but I've always thought it was really really cool that's a unique relationship like my brother replaced the guy who was a couple years older than him. And then my brother was replaced by a guy who was a couple years younger than him. And they're all still really, really good friends. It's a unique relationship. But the way that ESPN is doing it is they have two shots of Alex Smith on each side of a table. And one of them is supposed to look like mature Alex Smith, who has his hat on forwards. And then on the other side of the table, there's a guy who's supposed to look like mature Alex Smith who has his hat on forwards and then on the other side of the table there's a guy who's supposed to look like young uh hip disrespectful Alex Smith who has his hat on backwards the old one um like clean shaven yeah khakis yep the younger one

backwards hat scruffy beard has his phone out the whole time. He clearly had to film it and then go shave and maybe get a haircut and then do it again. It's very strange. It's a very, very half-assed idea. Okay. And they're talking to each other. But they're wasting this technology on Alex Smith.

And so what they did was they did like a 10-minute segment on the relationship between somebody being replaced and the new Corbett. So Alex Smith, older, mature Alex Smith, gives an opinion. Correct.

And then younger Alex Smith says... Shut up, old man. That's not that far off. Okay. And he actually said, like, put your phone up, we're in a meeting. Yeah. I'm like, God, this is a waste of time.

But I say all that to say that they talked to Drew Bledsoe, who certainly had had two of the more impactful versions of this in NFL history, one with Brady and then with Romo. So I went back and pulled a longer version of the clip that was viral, and this is not great for Tony. Barring any unforeseen circumstances, Tom will be the quarterback. My reaction will simply be to do the same thing I've done for nine years, and that's to do whatever I can to help my team win.

That means continuing as I have to help Tom. Are you hurt, frustrated, or how do you feel? Next question. It's a bitter pill to swallow, no question question but it's also the right thing to do i take pride in the way that i acted through that time and helped us win a championship that year and also like at this point they're showing when they got the first the first ring under brady and they're like hugging they're you, tapping each other on the head. It's clear that Bledsoe has just like a tremendous amount of respect for Brady in all of these videos.

You have to believe as a quarterback that you have somebody that's always in your corner. And a lot of times that backup quarterback, those guys are that cheerleader that's going to be in your corner even when the whole world's against you. So it all begs the question, do I owe it to him to be a mentor? How much longer do I have to listen to this guy?

By the way, that's the two Alex Smiths. See? Put your phone away. God! It sounds excruciating. It really is. I kind of love it, though, right now. Put your phone away. I don't know if I would go that far. In Dallas, Parcells made the decision to yank me at halftime of a game

and throw Romo in there. Really didn't agree with that one. If you're watching this, Romo, you know this is true. The minute that he became the starter, he became pretty big in his own mind. And he was no longer the curious, inquisitive guy. That was the difference between him and Tommy. Tommy became the starter. He still was asking all the questions

where all of a sudden Romo was the guy that had all the answers. Damn. Dude. What a pregame drive-by. He even called him out. Like, Romo, you're watching this. Damn.

And we all remember young pup Tony Robo who would be at summer bash yeah no he was cool and whatever and then within like a year he just became he violated all of the parcels quarterback yeah rules but that alex smith thing really let me focus on that for a second horrible it's. It's not good. And this is such good content, it's not necessary. No. You didn't need that with this stuff. To dress it up?

Yeah. You didn't need that little, put your phone away. Now we go to content like this. This guy. They could have just run the piece. Yeah. And had Tom Rinaldi narrated or whoever. That's good stuff, though, man.

Yeah, I guess that's, you know, with the Brady debut, that's what this is about, right? Yeah, I think so. So it's Brady's now taking over. Well, that leads us to the Brady audio. And, my God. It's tough. I wanted him to do well.

And you've even predicted perhaps he would It's tough. I wanted him to do well. And you've even predicted perhaps he would because he knows so much about football. And when you hear him just kind of breaking down film or something, it's fascinating. Yeah, and there's been times where, like, he used to do that thing with Jim Gray. Yeah, the podcast. Yeah, and when he would talk at length, to me, he seemed way more engaging than I ever thought of him when he was a player in this league as a player. But it turns out it's tough to just talk extemporaneously for four hours and not sound like you've never done it before when you've never done it before. I don't know. We're going to get to all this and maybe we do this during the segment.

But we've now had two former players in that exact same booth doing the exact same thing. So I don't know if it's training through Fox or bad consulting, but they just sound so robotic that they've been stripped of any personality that they've had. Who's the other one? Greg Olson.

It's the same thing. They sound exactly the same to me, except worse, because Greg Olson had been doing it for a few years. But they do buffering. We're going to get to that, the cadence. But Greg Olson does seem to have somewhat of a personality, whereas Tom Brady did not.

He's very stiff. The entire broadcast was very stiff. He's too conscious and aware that I'm Tom Brady and there's an image and I have to be a certain way, whereas Greg Olson is kind of like he knows nobody knows who he is and doesn't care. Third player Greg. Yeah, but even like him growing up with Brohard, it's like, okay, well, who cares?

He's just Greg Olson. People are getting to know him. Where Tom Brady has his image he's got to uphold, and he's just guarded for... That's what I think. Maybe he's just not... Maybe he has a crappy personality. Yeah, and maybe it'll just take time, but it's ironic

because one of them signed a $325 million contract, which would seem to be the sort of thing that would allow you to do your job well and not have to worry about your perception or image or whatever. I'm not a big fan of KB, Kevin Burkhardt, so I could be jaded here.

But he is not doing Brady any service because he's not teeing him up very well. And I pulled some audio where he's making jokes and not really putting Brady in good positions. If you think of Summerall and Madden, Summerall knew how to play off of Madden. Yeah. That seat has to allow the color guy to flourish.

And KB's just so goofy and trying to be funny, and I'm the cool guy, and I call Aaron Andrews EA. Why do you hate him so much? Because he's such a... I've never seen Blake just fired up before. He's such a bro, and that's not a bro job. And he's trying to make it one. It's Ted Emmerich's job.

It's a... You're doing play-by-play. Ted Emmerich would be great at it. The best play-by-play guy that we've had, Pat Summerall, said nothing. He was such a minimalist and allowed John Mann to do what he did. You need to allow the color guy to flourish,

and KB doesn't do that. Now, in KB's defense, and I have audio to prove it, sometimes he's wondering, well, when are you going to talk? You're supposed to talk now. That was Jake's takeaway. And so now I'm going to just talk again more

because my color commentator is not being colorful. Really filling in the gaps. Yeah, this is your time here. But I've got some audio to where I can play to where what is Brady supposed to say to some of this stuff. Let's get through it all then. This first one, Blake cut off. It's called Awkward Intro After Months of Prep. It feels disrespectful.

It is America's Game of the Week on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon from Cleveland, and a beauty in this week one. The NFL on Fox is back with the Cowboys taking on the Browns, and we say welcome to the broadcast booth. He's Tom Brady. And I'm Kevin Burkhardt, and you're a broadcaster. How about that? We're here.

It's been quite a journey, but I love being your partner. I'm excited as well. It's going to be a lot of fun. We should start with're here. It's been quite a journey, but I love being your partner. I'm excited as well. It's going to be a lot of fun. We should start with quarterbacks. That seems to make a lot of sense. Cowboys making news. And I love being your partner. You're a broadcaster.

How cool is this? Yeah, I'm excited. I'm your partner. Turns out if a guy is like a supreme robot as an athlete, maybe he'll be a robot as a broadcaster also. He also does this really weird thing, which I think is in like four or five of our cuts, where he'll go, yeah, right.

It's like, that's not the time where you talk. I didn't need that at all. I probably do that myself, but you're going to hear that a lot here. I also don't make $325 million. See, I wonder how much of it is that as well. If Troy Aikman, upon his first job, was, hey, we're going to give you the highest profile seat

and the highest contract in the game by a mile, we're now going to say, well, Troy Aikman better be pretty damn good. Because I think Troy Aikman's the best in the game and has been for a long time. But I'm not sure he was the first couple years. He got to ease into it in a three-man booth he was certainly the third of three men whereas Tom Brady is Tom Brady 18 immediately and now all of a sudden he's not the man in the room though either he's got this guy he's never

heard of Kevin Brohard he's kind of the boss in directing him. But, you know, even Romo at least had Nance, who is Nance, whatever you think of him, and I don't like him at all, but he carries some gravitas. Kevin Burkhart doesn't belong with Tom Brady. Joe Buck does. Yeah, I mean, if you remember, Aikman went to Europe also. Even

before? I don't recall. He was on with, like, Al Michaels? I don't recall with Chris Collinsworth. I don't recall the exact timeline, but he put in a ton of reps before he was, like, the main guy. And now they're like, alright, well, it's a cowboy game. It's week one. Here you are.

Game of the week. Go. Go. Figure's a Cowboy game. It's week one. Here you are, game of the week. Go. Go. Figure it out. Be funny. After months of prep, as Blake said. All right, we have a couple of EAs here. Aaron Andrews, of course. But if you are Kevin Brohard, you like to use abbreviations.

Save some time. Yeah, to give Tom more time to talk. But, Kev, you want to talk about... Wait, whoa. She also likes to... I'm not doing Kev. Hey, Kev. She never did this before she was thrown in with this group.

It's Kevin Burkhardt's fault. He sucks. But Kev, you want to talk about anxiety? His center, Cooper Beebe, this is the first time he's ever played this position in a game. Wow. Anxious, baby. Well, we'll see how it turns out, and we're not going to have to wait long.

Wow. She ends her report with, wow, anxious, baby. So EA. Yeah. Well, here's just another EA EA report This is in the second half Let's go downstairs to EA A little different tone on the Cowboys side of things I actually joked with head coach Mike McCarthy

And I said come on you didn't want to go for it 71 yard field goal You told us we're going to take advantage of these He laughed He didn't laugh I'll bet he didn't Whenever I tell somebody a funny story And they recount it later They always say he laughed He didn't laugh, though. I'll bet he didn't. Whenever I tell somebody a funny story and they recount it later,

they always say, he laughed. He laughed. He didn't laugh, though, when I said, I got to tell you, Tom Brady throughout this first half has really praised your play calling. I know you're not worried about it. He goes, well, yeah. They're really making a lot of this game about Tom Brady, too. Like, hey, Tom Brady praised your play calling. You're going to tell a coach

that. Why would I care about that? I'm in the middle of a dog fight here. We scored 20. That's pretty much validation for the play calling here. I don't have a contract. I know it was her friend that admitted to making up sideline reports, but I'm

not so sure she did either of those things with Mike McCarthy. I know you're not worried about it. He goes, well, yeah, Tom knows what he's talking about. I'll finish up in a minute. Here's Watson looking to throw. Oh, KB thought it was funny. Boy, now I'm waiting with bated breath for the rest. Oh, a TV.

Okay. That's been an issue. Go ahead, Erin. So yeah, TV, he appreciated all the praise from you. He also said the biggest key for his offense, of course, they were staying in front of the sticks there. Is this report ever going to end? It's on Cleveland. He's looking for them to keep up the pace here, Kevin, the second half.

And now for his defense out there, he said, you know, they've really started to take shots on the ball. They just really want to try to make Deshaun Watson go long here in the second half. Yeah, that's a great point. By the way, impressive stopping and starting skills there, Air. Air! Alright. I don't want to

do this anymore. Let's drive to that lake and throw your computer in it. Air? TB, he said that – All right, thanks, Air. Aaron, what is this snapping situation with BB? Tell us more.

Well, TB just mentioned it. This is him and his mother actually during the offseason. How about this gal? His dad and his brothers, they're at work. His mom, on her lunch break, she's doing the, here we go, Caden. And I gotta tell you, I talked to the quarterback, Dak Prescott. He approves. He loves it. Dak didn't know, by the way, he'd never played

center before, Kev. I guess that means he's done a good job. Hey, mom, the more you can do. That's amazing. 33 here. The more you can do? And then he laughed. There's like 10 things in there I want to talk about. Jack didn't know, by the way, he had never played center before, Kev.

I guess that means he's done a good job. Hey, Mom, the more you can do. That's amazing. 33 years. That's amazing. What accent is that? Here we go. Here we go.

So Blake said this morning that he thought that Aaron Andrews turns Irish. Yeah. But I think that's because Blake doesn't know what anybody from Ireland sounds like. I don't think that's true. To me, when she does it, she sounds like she's from here. From Cleveland? Yeah. She's doing me.

Wait. Here we go. Am I wrong? Here we go. Am I wrong? Absolutely no one who has listened to Dax Caden says it like that, other than her. It's not the first time.

It's just a really weird way to recount that. All right, we mentioned, you mentioned, somebody mentioned, the fact that he sounds TB. TB. TB. Sounds similar to Greg Olson. Just the thing that we picked up on where Greg Olson will sometimes pause. We call it buffering Greg. He pauses at times that you don't mean to pause. You lose your internet connection.

And apparently Tom Brady, pretty early on, it was easy to pick this up. Like, boy, he sounds like, for instance, we were watching Colt McCoy. Pretty early on, it was pretty easy to figure out he sounds exactly like if Groobz was doing it. Yes. Shout out to our friend David Ruff for pointing that out to us. But, yeah, there were multiple times where Colt ended a point, and it sounded exactly like exactly I mean.

Yeah. Anyway, so we got buffering Tom now. Miles Garrett punched it out on your cue, but Dallas recovered. It's a big man he's going against, and Tyler Guyton, but just too much power. He's got a great burst off the line of scrimmage. Just rips through and... Keep talking. Keep talking.

That's why he's reigning Defensive Player of the Year. Is that the end of the sentence? Fortunate for Dallas to see a loss of four. Still another sack, strip sack fumble. Yeah, give it to Darrell. And then it kind of peters out. Major peter out. Major peter out.

And I kind of feel like Brohart recognized it and tried to up the energy a little bit on his own. You know, he's doing like, wow. Yeah, he's changed his game a bit. Here's buffering Tom after that Turpin time. Bump return. A 60-yard return for Turpin. All right, big energy.

Now color guy, go. Such a dangerous returner. An alum of the UFL. And here he is getting his opportunity as he has for a few years now. One of the most dangerous explosive returners in the game. Makes some pay. Again, you see that early in the season. Gets some opportunities in special teams.

All right, is that the end of the sentence? Well, Tom Turpin. Oh, wow. He just. Dang. He ended with end. A lot of hang time. Again, you see that early in the season.

Get some opportunities in special teams. Well, Tom Turpin. Yeah, I guess we're going to break, TB. Oh, I'm sorry. Here we go. More buffering. It's blocked up. Watson still can't find anybody.

Now he's in trouble. Gets hit as he throws, and it's incomplete, and the Cowboys will take over. Talk. Talk. will take over talk talk again another escape to the left and trying to buy some time to give his guys chance to uncover but not enough really not much there force them to scramble and just can't quite uncover.

Tough day for Deshaun. No answers for this pass rush. No answers for this scheme on Zimmer. No answers on early downs. Not enough offense. Too many penalties. Yeah! There we go!

I had to leave that part in there for you. Holy, man. He's just like a physical ellipsis. Like every single time he starts a sentence, it feels like, all right, dot, dot, dot. Yep. Dot, dot, dot. Don't get it.

Today's Next Gen Stats powered by AWS. If Micah Parsons were playing baseball, he'd be a five-tooled player, Tom. He sure would be. There's a lot of places for him to align, and Zimmer's going to put There's a lot of places for him to align, and Zimmer's going to put him in a lot of places, and he's going to create his own

mismatch. There he is on Batonio, forcing him over to Lawrence on the sack. You've got to be aware of him whenever you play. And there he is in the middle. You think he's coming. Next thing you know, you've got an overload pleasure from the right. So again, where do you put your focus? You put it on him, and then it comes from somewhere else.

Not a lot of answers. Here's the Browns offense. Again. He just completely bailed on that point. And here is one whole minute of Brady buffering. Oh, my goodness. I don't think they're intimidated by anything they saw from the Browns today. I think they realized, hey, this is going to be a great

opportunity for a pass rush today. That's been the story of the game, obviously. Playing defensive so well, as well as they have defensively. But again, you go on the road the first game of the season. You're Dallas. You had one of the toughest losses

at the end of last year getting manhandled by Green Bay, not doing anything right. And you're Coach McCarthy. You're saying, what did we do this offseason? How are we going to shore this up? What kind of team are we going to have? What kind of attitude are we going to show up with? And I think he's learned a lot from his team today.

This is a mentally tough team. It's the reason why they've won 12 straight games three years in a row. Very clunky way to say that. CD Lambs contract. Dak Prescott's contract. It didn't affect them today. So eliminate distractions. Play good football in the regular season.

Stress those players to get better throughout the year. And that's the kind of team that Dallas wants to be. Battle tested. They've got the defense. A lot of consistency on offense. And a great showing. I've really never heard anything like this before. Here's the problem with Tom Brady, too.

He didn't say one thing yesterday that, besides when he said he hung out with Julian Edelman or something, he didn't say anything that would indicate to me that he's been in the battles that he's been in. What did he gain from that, that you are now transmitting to us? Your old Phil Simms point. Well, if I didn't have you, if I had you in the booth, you could have said, like, here, here's a generic Tom. I'd label this as generic Tom.

I don't even remember what it, wait, no, this isn't, the point is, he's saying nothing. And he's buffering to get to those points. He has not made any point to show that I've been on an NFL field and I am Tom Brady at all. Well, get used to the next 20 years of your life because he's not going anywhere. Wow, I don't know. Dude, no way.

If you're that bad, if he doesn't get better, they ran Witten. Yeah, but Witten was Witten. And while I agree that yesterday Brady was as bad as Witten has been, it's Tom Brady, dude. They're going to put him on the mass

singer or whatever. They're going to build the whole thing around it. Here, let me give you some Brohard going into what I'm telling you about Tom Brady having a bag. Well, you look about the rock and roll history in this town, and look, you go back to the jukebox, right? When the Browns... By the way... Might have left out one consonant there we need. But the right...

Did you notice that about Kevin Burkhead, right? Oh, he's a right guy for sure. Right, all the time, every time. You look about the rock and roll history in this town and look, you go back to the jukebox, right? When the Browns were playing all the hits and you think about the 64-and-a-half championship game. They defeated the Colts, shut them out 27-0, right?

And flip on another record. The problem is since 65, the same record's been playing. And that is zero titles and not a lot of postseason wins. And that's what they're trying to change. That's the rock and roll whole thing. It's great. Now this play's about to get rocking as its number one defense. See if they get some life from

the offense. Just a yeah? That was it. Just a yeah. Boy, I do want to say you guys are real popular of those titles before they called it the Super Bowl. Real popular. Real proud, yeah.

Was looking around the stadium at championships and all that. Yeah, not much since the 60s or so. Here, I don't remember why I marked this one, but they were doing the Njoku injury report, and then they threw it back to the guys. So why did I put this? Ankle injury questionable to return. Certainly the Browns need every offensive weapon they can use

and try to get back in this one and continue their momentum, KB. Yeah, a pro ball tight end. Njoku led them in receptions last year. That's a problem. Here's Watson looking to build on that momentum. I think you just heard the word momentum and remembered the Bro-Mart. Momentum twice, but then he also had to throw it to KB. Yeah.

Back to you, KB. So now this is a different thing that I call silent Tom. So there are times when Tom Brady should be talking. Watson looking to build on that momentum. Let's it fly for Cooper, but miscommunication, but there is a flag. As Kaelin Carson was on coverage there. Just a little too much contact there, huh, Mike? Yeah, I think so.

He throws it to Pereira! He throws it to Pereira! Honestly, I feel like we've heard more of... We're looking at the replay and don't kind of like... Kind of maybe an opinion. Mike, can you take it? Play this again real quick. Just that part.

All right. I feel like I heard that more than I heard Brady. Yeah. The little transition thing. Yeah, a little stinger. So here's more silent, Tom. After Eric Kendricks, we talked about him, his sack. Eric Kendricks already has an interception in this game.

He gets home with a sack if it stands. All right, thanks, Tom. What do you got here? Pretty much, yeah. All right. Hold on, thanks, Tom. What do you got here? Pretty much, yeah. You're... All right. Hold on. I got more. Is it blocking schemes?

Is it, like, what caused the sack? What do we always want to know? If you're a Browns fan, who gave up that sack? If you're a Cowboy, you know, whatever. I want to know all these things. So let's go back.

Again, silent Tom. Eric Kendricks already has an interception in this game. He gets home with the sack if it stands tb europe illegal formation offense the left tackle is uncovered a belly's decline there's a fourth down That belly's declined. There's a fourth down. What about now?

So Eric Kendricks has an interception and now a sack and a half in his Cowboys debut playing for his former head coach in Mike Zimmer. Productive day for him. Yeah, bring him in. Interception. Kendrick's drafted. What did he do? Is he just watching the monitor? What is happening?

You're the color commentator. Not just an opinion like I might have sitting there as, well, that's a productive day. But he's had an interception, and now it's a sack. I kind of remember that name from the first quarter. He had an interception, and now he has a sack. Like, that's all he offered. Yeah.

I'm going to try to defend Brady because it's his first game, okay? The Fox A team. Pereira, KB, EA, TR, they should all be helping and spood feeding Brady but I think the problem here is they are trying to welcome Brady into their ecosystem but did they have so you thought there they had to say Tom what did you see there no but there are that is your whole job for just assume I'm saying that after every play. No, but sometimes, yeah. You know, TB, what'd you see here? Or just whatever. But Kevin never...

It's sort of implied. I know, but it's his first game. He will get better. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what they start doing. And I don't know if we want to play this or not, but there were times where Kevin just assumes that Brady needs to catch up to the way that they do games. And I think that slot has to help the color guy along at some point.

Well, it shouldn't have to. And there were times where like, okay, let's go to prayer here because this is what we do. Or let's go to Rinaldi because this is what we do. Why not just bring Brady along slowly? I just think, like Jake said, it is implied after a play happens, now it is your time. Yeah.

My time is to kind of give just the nuts and bolts of the play. Your time is to explain to the idiots out there, like me watching, what happened. I mean, you're an NFL player. You were in a huddle. You won the Super Bowls. That's what you were saying earlier. What happened on that play?

And he just thought, you know what? This is great. I'm sitting next to KB and I'm just watching the game. But it was, but it was his first broadcast. Okay. You said you, you never felt like you heard Brady say anything about his playing days. Did one time did KB say, Hey, you know, Watson under a ton of pressure, what did you do in that situation where you felt like you had no time? There were times where they could have gotten him involved and didn't. Well, we're going to see again for the next 20 years. Because he's going to be working with this doofus next to him. If they would just put him with anyone else, he might be better. I've literally never seen Blake have this much vitriol towards another person in my life.

That's why I'm ending with KB-focused audio here. Okay? Here's KB-focused audio here. Okay? Here's KB Comedy. Okay. Well, Miles Garrett, the Defensive Player of the Year, and yeah, he's pretty good. He is pretty, pretty good. That's your A-team right there.

Yeah. I cringed pretty hard at that one, and also it made me think, I can almost guarantee you Tom Brady's never seen Curve. No way. He's like, why is he saying it like that? No, I wasn't sure with you coming in the booth. I made sure I did my hair real nice.

I figured there would be some more on cameras with you here today. Just a hunch. Hey, what we can do up here is provide the fan experience. I do what they tell me. I understand that. I'm still a rookie in here. Aaron, that's a true weave. True weave.

True weave. God, that's brutal. Dak Prescott, big day for him, Aaron Andrews. It's not good. This one is also awkward. 7-3 Cowboys. They're football late in the first quarter as we welcome you to the broadcast booth. Look, it's Mike Pereira.

Hi, Mike. It's good to have you back. Don't leave me hanging. So good to be back with you guys. It's just great to be here in Cleveland. We love you, Mike. Of course, Tom Brady's here. You know, it's funny.

Until I showed up to the stadium, I had no idea you were going to be a broadcaster. It was so well under wraps. It's great to have you two TV as the Cowboys are starting off. That's horrible. Yeah, that's really tough. They were doing – they throw it to an in-game commercial, right? And Tom Brady was in the commercial with Julian Edelman, I believe. They were, like, he was an airline flight attendant or something.

I don't know. They were doing a commercial. Tom Brady was in it, and it was about being on an airplane. I'm coming, sir. Is there any truth to the rumor that you and Edelman are going to be in Airplane 3? Oh, hopefully not. Although I am impressed by Julian's acting skills. He surprised me with a lot of things.

Yeah, it's not good. It's not good at all. You know, to me, it sounds like a guy who would make out with his 13-year-old son. He mentioned his son once on the broadcast. Oh, yeah. I can't remember exactly why. They were watching the game. But it was about, yes, making sure you have mouthwash before you kiss your son goodnight. While getting massaged.

Yeah. So, I have written down on the run sheet here, if we wanted to kind of wrap up cowboy talk for today. You said local Cleveland radio had something kind of funny. Yes. This is, I believe, the first call from the Ken Carman show this morning. Ah. So. Sports boy Tony and Ken Carman.

We'll see how they're handling things. 216-474-0092. You ready to go with phones? Sure. All right. What a pro, by the way. Mm-hmm. I want to say 00.

00? 216-474-0092. Yeah. He did 0092? 216-474-0092. You ready to go with phones? Sure. All right.

Dave in Macedonia. Sorry to stop it again. That's the exact same I already gave you. All right. All right. All right. Sure. All right. Dave in Macedonia. Sorry to stop it again. That's the exact same I already gave you. All right. All right. All right. Sure. All right.

Dave in Macedonia, your first up in the fan. Hello. Good morning, boys. All right. All right. He's quoting Daniel Caffey. Please. There's two numbers.

You'll figure them out. 42.9. 144. What is all this? Watson's quarterback rating. Mayfield's quarterback rating. Oh, Christ. I can't do this for one more second.

No, that's enough. That's enough. The first call out of the box, we're going to do this. The very first call out of the box, we're going to do this. The very first call out of the box, we're going to do this. There's more. No. I know what his quarterback rating was. I know that he was good.

Guys, I'm not doing it right out of the damn box. Can I have a little bit of time before we do this? Can I have a little bit of time? He ain't coming home. He ain't coming back. Only to play us. That's it. He had a great day down time? He ain't coming home. He ain't coming back. Only to play us. That's it. He had a great day down there.

Congratulations on all his success. I can't undo the trade. I can't undo it. Hit the mic. You ready to go to another one? Go ahead. That must be a big bit here. Just trolling your local sports talk radio about Baker.

Yeah, it must be with Baker. That he's playing well. I'll bet he – Made the playoffs last year. He must have been anti-Baker. Oh, yeah. That's definitely the context there. That's awesome.

It's just such a perfect day. Dude. To have him ball out Deshaun Watson, just look like a complete fool. What was it like when you walked out right when the second half began, right? Yeah, shortly thereafter, yeah. It was such a weird, stark – because pregame was so fun. A lot of energy. Going up, yeah.

It was like just random like a lady would be walking with her boyfriend. But she's not with this with her boyfriend but she's alone she's not with this whole group but she'd be like here we go Brown and then you'd be like woof woof and they're barking and everybody's just nuts it was so charged and the whole thing

and jet fly over I mean this place was that was pretty badass by the way although I think you're only saying that because the chemtrails fell down and made us all believe it was badass. Yeah. Is that a thing?

Yeah, chemtrails. You know chemtrails, don't you? Oh, I'm quite aware of chemtrails. Yeah, anyway, but they had, you know, eight chemtrails going across the stadium, and I thought it was all to make us... Anyway, the point is, it was such high energy. It was electric, yeah.

And then I walked out in that third quarter, and it was like, just first of all, everybody's sitting like this. Yeah. With their arms crossed in the stands. And then if you weren't going to leave because all the money you spent to get in this game, you're sitting like that. But if you were going to leave, and the money you spent to get in this game, you're sitting like that. But if you were going to leave, and then you're just like, same old team.

It felt like walking out of the drive with John Elway. Like, just yet another. It's week one. And it felt like the saddest walk ever. It was so fun. It was so fun. It was fun for me. Yeah, it was just fun to watch. Well, and that was like the one bet walk ever. It was so fun. It was so fun.

It was fun for me. Yeah, it was just fun to watch. Well, and that was like the one bet I won all day. So it was fun for me, too. Happy for you, pal. No, I'm happy for you. I'm happy for all of us here at the Brothers Lounge. And really appreciate you folks watching on DZTV tonight.

He's just trying to make every promo he can. Yeah. Yeah. Here on KDFI 27. Yep. Yep. Got it all right, didn't I? You did.

And you didn't curse this time. Excellent. Let's do some news. Hit me. Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News. So we talked about Blake's obsession with watching other people play video games earlier. Where are we at on Fortnite? Is that still?

I think it's still popular, but it's not as big as it was. We had two players in North Texas finish in the top 20 worldwide. The world? In what? In a tournament? Yes. The Fortnite Championship Series. That is the 18th edition of the global event featured a $2 million prize pool.

Was it a major? I don't know. I don't know. They're both 19 years old. No puppets! I never played that 19 years old. No, puppet! I never played that at a break. Oh, thank you. Good call.

I was hanging. Incomplete. That was something that we've had to explain to Dan, that the prime of an eSports player is like 16 to 22. Yeah, you have to hang it up when you're 23. Why? When you graduate college, you are out of your prime. Why?

Because your hand-eye coordination apparently just slows down. For real? Yeah. Like that much? Yeah, there's a guy on the winning Halo team. He's like 26. He's the old guy. And I remember one of them became an analyst and a team owner or something,

and he was 25. And they're like, ugh, games passed him by. What if LeBron decided to be Halo player? He couldn't. But as a young kid, he didn't play basketball. We're just switching the soccer thing now? Yeah. Like, are these really great athletes,

or are they just like since the best of every kid who didn't play sports? I'm pretty sure it's in the Olympics in 2028. Video games. Yeah. Esports. Really? You think?

I'm almost positive that that has been approved. So if you think people were pissed off about breakdancing. Colleges have teams. Oh yeah. You can get a scholarship. A scholarship? Sch, yeah. You can get a scholarship. A scholarship?

Scholarly. Wow. Way to go. And apparently you can also win tons and tons of money. A pool of $2 million. NBC 5 has a story about this today. This is something that I kind of thought was just done. has a story about this today.

This is something that I kind of thought was just done. We are at an 80 year high in syphilis cases in America. Syphilis. It's back, folks. Is that the clap? I think that's gonorrhea.

Nobody in here appears willing to weigh in to confirm. Everyone's like, no, I don't know, man. I've never heard. Nobody in here appears willing to weigh in to confirm or deny. Did syphilis? Everyone's like, no, I don't know, man. I've never heard. Tell us what syphilis is. I mean, the way that I always thought of it was like the old politician,

it would make you crazy disease. Like there's a mental element to it, you know? Like I think George Washington had it. Really? A couple guys over at the bar appear to be having an internal conversation about it. Was syphilis the one that like pushed the rock up the hill and then it came down?

No, that's Sisyphus, but I love that. Thanks. Whoa. Yep. That's a phenomenal Greek mythology pool. Thanks, guys. Yeah. But yeah, apparently like we're at the highest levels of syphilis since the 1950s.

You get it. It's sex, right? Correct, yeah. You get it through some sex. Yeah. What happens? Does a little pus come out or something? Yeah, I think there's a discharge.

Don't use this on DZTV. You really only hear about discharge when it comes to, as it were, the wiener. Or the down there, the ladies. He won't say it in front of his mom. Inverted wiener. Isn't that how you get that?

You just push it inside out? That's how the wiener fits in it. What are you doing? I'm saying that's how the wiener fits in it. What are you doing? I'm saying that's what it is. That's why to find your soulmate, you have to find the perfect sized. All right. Anyways, from 2021 to 2022, the number of syphilis appointments scheduled via a county here in Ohio jumped by almost 50%. I mean, I know you made the trip

to the community clinic, but... Sure. You ever have a scare? Not a... I don't know. No, I don't know. No, I've never had any kind of venereal disease type scare.

Notice Rob got up and left as soon as we started talking I know that guy's been around those X games oh yeah you got our rooms and then our good friends at Fox 4 have a story today that Dan is KD that's KDFW. That's correct. Okay.

Well, then it was okay that I said, slipped up before and said KDFW. I was trying to tell you that. Okay, good. I guess I didn't read that. Do you guys remember whenever, in Deep Ellum, goat yoga kind of became popular? Rob Shaker said yes.

I remember you doing stories on this in the past. Yeah. And, like, us all talking about what it meant. I think they're supposed to chill you out and stuff. Like they're real actual goats. Oh, yeah. Not like LeBron. But you're doing yoga.

The goats aren't. No, they're like on you. They're standing on you. They can be. That doesn't seem relaxing at all. They're very, very cute, though. Are they really? Baby goat.

They're really loud. Yeah, but I mean... My neighbor had a goat for a while. Go on. It would be... They had this old beater car out, and this goat would stand up on top of it, like... I think it bleating.

Bleating. That's the term for the sound? I think. Yeah. Well, in California, there's a new trend of snake yoga, where people are using pythons in yoga. Have you ever done yoga? No.

I never thought I would be limber enough. I'm a very stiff person. Yeah, I mean, I think that's why you go, right? Max doesn't have you limbering up? I can't sit Indian style. We don't say that anymore, especially here. We call it guardian style. Okay.

That was nowhere near that funny that was a c- effort at best crisscross applesauce there you go in probably your daughter's kindergarten class i think so yeah since they're all woke i i don't know that I would do the snake situation, but it is quite relaxing. You've done yoga? Many times. Oh. I used to have a little. Dude, it's not cheap.

I mean, you can do like the. Could you just do it on your own? You can. But, you know, it's like anything. Again, to reference Max, like you're going to work out better if you're with somebody. You're going to put more effort into it perhaps if you have a little money behind it. Yeah, and you're going to be coached properly. It's time.

You can't just get up and leave. I mean, I suppose you could, but most people stick it out. I like it quite a bit. So you've done a few things that are to help your mind and relax. No, no, no. But would you prefer yoga or a massage or a mange? Those are the three things that you've done to get relaxed. I think the thing I like doing the most is being outside, moving, and being hot.

the most is being outside moving and being hot like i like feeling like i'm i have a very hard time sitting still so like a massage for me sometimes can be like oh god like i just will look at the clock the whole time be like when am i leaving when am i leaving when am i leaving that's not relaxing no and it's it's kind of the same way with yoga you're you're like very aware of like okay this is an hour. Let's get through this. Let's get through this. Let's get through this. I have a hard time not thinking about the next thing.

But if you're just hot as hell running, get that runner's high, kind of get lost in the moment a little bit. Or if you're just going 69-1 in a flag football league, redemption tour starts next Sunday, by the way really yeah who do we got in the sked doesn't matter interesting i like that attitude that's right yeah we'll play who shows up you're like um who's our coach that we love? He's from Compton. Oh, Jason... Jason... Brown? Jason Brown.

He doesn't care who the opponent is? No. He's just rolling out there. That's right. Why scout? All right, there's news. It's fine. Oh, geez.

I don't want TB Peter out there. And subscribe. Blake got up and kind of left in the middle of the segment. I don't want to do it. TB Peter out there. Blake got up and kind of left in the middle of the segment. Yeah, why did he leave in the middle of the news? It's just like a really weird development. You just have to go to the bathroom? That lets you know how bad it was. Oh, my gosh. I don't know.

I didn't have a whole lot of support there. Were you clutching your bottom? Oh, my God, dude. You ran down for a number two? The past 45 minutes, I've been sweating over here. Unbelievable. He hasn't been offering a whole lot, I've been sweating over here. Unbelievable. That's a Jake move. He hasn't been offering a whole lot, so I knew something was happening.

Have I ever done that to you all before? Are you feeling great? You feeling good now? I feel way better now. Why didn't you ask for a break? We could break. We easily could have. We're live streaming.

You guys were just clicking, and I just thought- I don't think we were. We were dying. We needed you. I said, Rob, just let me sneak away real quick. I got the story forward. I'm like, Blake's still not back. We hadn't had me for the past hour, so you know.

Okay. I'm sorry. Is's still not back. He hadn't had me for the past hour. So, you know. Okay. I'm sorry. Is it time for Today in History now? No. Hey, everybody. We're going to do a little of this. It's time to answer some of today's viewer mail. Brought to us by Frankel and Frankel.

The great Frankel and Frankel. Personal injury attorneys. They're not public injury attorneys. No, they're not. Yeah. But they're great. They've been a hardcore sponsor from the very beginning when we were allowed to add hardcore sponsors. And they're the kind of guys that will help you out, like I said, personal injury. In fact, they always advise if you get into a car accident, make your first call after family. You probably got to call your wife or something.

I don't know. You might call Frankel first. I might call the Frankels first, yeah. At 214 or 817, then all threes. When I call home, I might not speak to a partner right away. I might get some assistant. Right. That's not what I'm going to get with the Frankles.

No, you'll get either Mark or Scott Frankle or Gene Burkett, who's got a great shoe game and he's really tall and stuff. Family-owned law firm with a client-first mission. They used to defend the insurance companies, and they can now use that extensive experience to advocate on your behalf. They know the insurance companies are out for themselves, so you need someone to be out for you. That's right.

I bet Gene Burkett is dunked. For sure. It's not in the copy, but if I had to guess, and if I want a personal injury attorney, I want a guy who's dunked. Why wouldn't you, you know? I want him to dunk on the insurance company. I think I've never.

In fact, I can almost assure you none of the attorneys we interacted with in the past year. It's highly unlikely that any of them have dunked. Without one of those trampolines. A trampoline. Yes. Anyway, Frankel & Frankel, they're great. They have over 100 years of combined experience. They know how to craft a case and drive maximum outcomes for you.

214 or 817, all threes. I have some viewer mail for you here. Don't know if you guys have any, but as usual, a lot of birthdays today. And especially after a weekend, we have, hi, Dan, my name is Kelsey. I am an adjacent listener to the Dumb Zone. My husband streams you guys every day, all day. We live in Houston. But he won't listen to anyone from here.

So I've learned a lot about DFW listening to y'all. It's a very long email here. A lot of stuff about her husband. She loves him. Let's see if it's his birthday or not. My husband Colin has his birthday September 9th. Would you give him a shout out? I once did that on the ticket.

It like made his life. Oh, that's a tough one. Imagine it coming from y'all. So I wonder if she thinks she sent it to someone else on the ticket, not me. And she's thinking it'll be even better coming from us. Like we once did it on the ticket, and she doesn't realize it was probably coming from us on the ticket. Yeah, and considerably fewer people listen to this.

Yeah, but they'll listen harder. And perhaps that makes it more special. Yes. Like if you only get to do that part on your birthday. I mean, that's a little better than if you did it every... Well, I don't know about that. Hot name, Kelsey. Says, I'm a teacher.

Ooh, even hotter. And I heard your segment about the Wellman Project. Thank you. I was able to get so much stuff from my classroom, I didn't even know they existed from Kelsey. Very good. All right. The power of the dumb zone.

This came in Friday at 5 p.m. Hey, Blake. Can you all wish my husband Aaron a happy 43rd birthday? He's been listening to you guys

from the beginning from Elizabeth. P.S. His birthday is today, but I'm late. Very late. She said a bit late. Congratulations. Or birthday is today, but I'm late. Very late. She sent it a bit late. Or congratulations?

Or early for next year. Is she pregnant? I don't know. I'll do one real quick. I don't know if you received any of these emails, but I got one about 45 minutes ago from a company called Fidelity. All right. And it appears that our former employer owes me $54.95.

Oh, really? Yeah. And they've sent a check that is outstanding. Like a payout. Yeah. Nice. Congrats. I know.

It's a big day. $8.95 stakes for all the barrisques tonight. Dude. Yeah. I'm on top of it. Tick-tock tavern. That's right. Call in the extra wait staff because there appeared to be not many of them. Yeah. I'm on top of it. Tick Tock Tavern. That's right. Call in the extra wait staff because there appeared to be not many of them.

Yeah. Yeah. That was the first thing we heard from our waitress. But it wasn't like the weekend or anything. That lady certainly did tell us about a lot of her problems. Like, you know how when you're like- She was very, what don't you want? Well, it was very like, you know, you'll ask somebody, hey, how you doing?

And what do you want to hear? Good. That's it. You don't really want to know how how you doing? And what do you want to hear? Good. That's it. You don't really want to know how they're doing. No. She thought we actually wanted to know and detailed the entirety of her day. She wasn't supposed to be working that day, actually. That's tough.

She got called in and there's like 17 other things. Anyways. Dear Uncle Gash Basher. Oh my God, your mom is right there. Please wish Matt Miller from Plano a happy 43rd. He's currently listening in Thailand while looking for ladyboys with another DZ listener friend. His leaders are Leather Jacket Jake, Blake's Eventual coming out,

and Dan's... Wait a second. Craig Wolf Day 2. By the way, Mr. Noviello told us you didn't quite play along in some instances. What does that mean? He said that you said it wasn't true that you had a leather jacket in high school. Yeah, because it's not. So I didn't really know what to do.

You were on television. You roll with the punches. Yeah, we just thought you were going to come up with something. And if he says you're a big Reese Witherspoon fan, all of a sudden you're a Reese Witherspoon fan. You just have to. Is that how it works? Yeah. It's a yes and game over there.

It's a yes and, okay. Steve Noviello's show. Okay. I had no idea the prep that had gone into this from you two idiots. I mean, I knew where it came from, but no, I've never owned a leather jacket. Okay. Such modesty. Oh, stop it.

Uncle Hotmail, Blake, and Jake. Day 13, subby 3855. Let's see. I took Jake down on the field at a UT football game to do backstage medical for the Austin music venues. If you ever need a conversation about stadium and backstage medical stories, I'm your guy, Ryan McCorkle. He's awesome.

Is he? Yeah, so that was the game that I was supposed to go to with Deuce and Dominic, Texas, Alabama, and they ended up not being able to make it, but Ryan got me on the field. And I'm pretty sure it was an 11 or noon kick. It wasn't a night game. I'm pretty

sure I can say this. Alcohol poisoning was an issue for many of the students that day, it appeared. He was like, dude, we've already had like 200 goals. I don't think that's like a HIPAA thing. Nobody's name is involved. But like there's a guy who's in charge of the medical situation

that you just don't even think about at every sporting event you go to. And like they're getting called ten times, you know, a minute of like, hey, we got this, we got this, stadium fight. Somebody over-served. I wonder how much he makes for that. Dude, I think he... I mean, he's an actual ER doctor. So this is like his other gig. And he's done it for tons and tons of bands and shows.

Like his kids got on stage with Pearl Jam. Seems like a cool gig if you can get it. What's he doing? He's taking his hoodie off. Got a little warm. Maybe the light's up on the stage. Maybe he wants to show us his shirt. His Johnny Manziel jersey.

JM too. Anyways, great dude. I was afraid you had to go to the bathroom too. I was like, I can't just sit here and do this by myself. We got like 20 minutes left. Maybe that was rude. I got up and left. Uncle Hotmail, it's my Max Verstappen pre-World Championship

plus Max Verstappen post-World Championship birthday. My leaders are Blake's dating tips and Jake's insistence that commercial airline pilots only make 70K. Worked it up. From SoCalDFSteve. I thought I had a lot of follow-up on that, actually. Or at least some. Like Nick, who said the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported the median U.S. airline pilot, co-pilot, and flight engineer salary is $219,000 in 2023. That is not correct.

I don't care what this bureau says. All right. I'm going to support you. Hey, thanks. Because I ride or die with you. And Uncle Hotmail, my husband is a devoted dumb F listener, sent in a birthday wish to me this year. I am hot wife 41.

We've been married for 20 years. I can assure you, oh, okay. She says, I can assure you I was of legal age and there was no grooming involved. Oh, I remember this guy. Yeah.

Yeah, he called his wife a great lay. Mm-hmm. And then the age is, I don't know, he was... A little questionable. A little sus. She says he didn't make up anything in that email. We do have a fantastic sex life. Yeah.

Ugh, gross. He is an A-plus effer. Yeah. Gross. He is an A plus effer. No one is. Has anyone described you that way? Absolutely not. No one is. It was weird, but she was like 40 and they met 38 years ago.

She says, I hope he has an amazing 52nd birthday. Happy birthday, Justin. She's 41. And it says we've been married 20 plus years. See? How much is that plus lifted in that equation?

Her name is January Turner. Okay, that's extremely hot. That's a great name. Yeah, I'm sorry. I take back everything I said. You have the email? You want to read it? And if you were in middle school or high school

and there was a girl that dated a much older man, her name being January checks out. Without a doubt. You can play it? Plus years. Oh, this is the original. You're a little on the line there, pal. Yeah, just say 20. We'll feel good about that.

Anyway, he goes on to write a Could be a Dane Cook situation here. Ton of stuff. Just nice stuff about her. She puts up with my BS. She's a stay-at-home wife of 17 years. She isn't lay around all day in her juicy sweats and watch soaps kind of gal. She cooks gourmet meals.

She cleans the whole house, takes care of my two sons, does the laundry. What is he trying to make up for here? He says, and enjoys my company, and then he says, and is an amazing lay. Golly. and enjoys my company, and then he says, and is an amazing lay. How rude. I haven't heard anybody use that term in a long time. I'm extremely lucky I couldn't be more in love with this chick. I've been grooming her since she was 15. So all of that stuff.

It kind of does appear that way, Justin, or whatever your name is. What if this is her cry for help? That's pretty sweet that Rob had that. That is pretty sweet. And then, this was a Friday conversation, so I thought we should at least address it today. Do you remember Jake having this teeth brushing situation thing? I have not stopped thinking about it since then.

What if we reset? What did you say? I brush my teeth like a normal human. What I do is I put toothpaste on my toothbrush. I brush my teeth up, and then I lean my mouth down under the sink. Oh, my God. I forgot I saw him do this the other day, too. At first, I spit, and then I catch my mouth down under the sink. Oh, my God. I forgot I saw him do this the other day, too. First I spit, and then I catch some of the water,

and then I swish it around in my mouth, and I spit it out, and then I'll do it again to get a final rinse, and then I swish it around, and I spit it out. I'm with you. Yep. And then I rinse off the toothbrush, and then we're good until whenever. Sounds normal to me. You say what?

I just brush my teeth, spit, and go about my day. I don't rinse out my mouth afterward. But I can tell you what I definitely don't do and haven't done since I was probably seven years old is what I watched you, adult male, do over the weekend, which is put your head under the sink of a kitchen. Yeah. My mouth is not on the faucet.

Well, I know. I'm not saying that you're like deep-throating the faucet. Yeah. But you are like your head is in a sink. Yeah. That's really, really gross to me. And you said yesterday, you're like, dude, you're like the cleanest guy I know,

but why do you do such a disgusting act? That is very gross. I'm cleaning off. Get a cup at best. I was rinsing off my mouth, my little face, a little beard, mustache. You get a little stuff in there. It's just very unsettling to see a father of two,

a pillar in the community. Cover of Dad Magazine. Cover of South Lake Dad Magazine. Just have his head sideways at a 9 o'clock angle A pillar in the community. Cover of Dad Magazine. Cover of South Lake Dad Magazine. Just have his head sideways at a 9 o'clock angle underneath a kitchen sink. It's really gross to me. So Brandon writes, dear Tio Tongue Punch, a quick Google search about rinsing one's mouth after brushing revealed a consensus among dentists across the world. Four out of five.

Don't rinse with water straight after toothbrushing. After brushing, spit out any excess toothpaste. Don't rinse your mouth immediately after as it'll wash away the concentrated fluoride. Let's go. In the remaining toothpaste. Rinsing dilutes it and reduces its preventative effects. You know what? I think it's super courageous of you to read this.

That's tough news for us. A smaller man would have just deleted this. He says it seems that the Dan and Blake brushing method is at least frowned upon by the experts, but I know when they push, you pull. Thank you from your orchestral day two DF, Brandon. He was sitting here at the Brothers Jones on Friday. Now, I have a couple of notes about this.

Number one is we did also get a lot of support on the other side, which saying Dan and Blake are right. We did. I didn't print those. It was just too many. Okay. Number two. What Brandon did send here, he said, it's a consensus among dentists.

He said, this is from the British National Health Service. Oh, no. That doesn't help me at all. Okay. You want to. So they're saying. Yeah. There's a lot here. Don't wrench that's... There's a lot here.

Don't wrench your mouth. There's a lot here. All right. First, let's play on how Jake hates the Brits. Yeah, I mean, that's about as bad as it gets right there. Notoriously bad teeth. Yeah, there's the bad teeth part. Yeah, that's not good.

So the debate remains unsolved in my mind. I think Jake will be rinsing tonight. I thought about it yesterday. You'll see his head leaned under that faucet. I'll teach you how to do it. I thought about it yesterday because it was a bottle of water, which I don't know if it was mine or not, but I didn't want you to possibly hear me do it.

Like I didn't want to rinse and you know. Like you ever been at the dentist and they'll be like, you want to swish? Yeah, rinse. Yeah. Right. Yeah, I don't get this. Yeah, well, there you go. The

Dumb Zone presents Today in History. Let's see. We got some of that. Pull that up here. I'm so digital on the road. No printer.

No printer. No printer. What if I just become no printer guy? Would you guys be thrown off? I would be, yeah. If I stopped looking at paper? Today is Monday, September 9th. On this day in 490 B.C.

Didn't happen. This didn't happen. Pheidippides? No. A Greek soldier ran 26 miles to let the people of Athens know about the Greek victory against the Persians at Marathon. This is how we got Marathon? After he said, rejoice, we are victorious, he died from exhaustion. Today's 26-mile race is named after the city.

The Marathon is based on this historic event. He was never even able to put a sticker on the back of his Subaru. So they said, man, this was so taxing on him, he died. Let's have a bunch of people do it. Yeah, so in order to celebrate this man who

delivered this really good news, let's now see how quickly people can do it and not die. Right. But, what if I make there a charity element to it can i interest you in that you may i wonder what the origin story is for the 1k walk was it me we had this idea once upon a time uh i think it might have been the covet year oh that doesn't make sense though because i actually ran that year we were gonna have dan We had this idea once upon a time. I think it might have been the COVID year. Oh, that doesn't make sense, though, because I actually ran that year.

We were going to have Dan participate in the kid walk. I think it might have been one mile. Hawkeye was really into that. One day, Dan had to park a little farther away than he thought he was going to. And today, we do a 1K walk and name it after him. On this day in 1993, baseball joined all the other major sports. They finally expanded their postseason, as well as divisions. However, they voted yes, 27 to 1.

Selig. No, wait, he was commissioned at that point. He wasn't. Steinbrenner. Says here Texas. Okay. The only dissenter. I don't know why.

Would that have been Dub? 93? 93? I mean, they hadn't been to the playoffs yet. Which is one of the reasons that it seemed odd that they would be the dissenter. Yeah. Maybe because they were also relining divisions. That's probably it. Because they were throwing them in the West.

That's it. And they wanted to be in the Central with St. Louis. It makes more sense for Texas to be in the Central. Yeah. They're in a Central time zone. Louis. It makes more sense for Texas to be in the Central. They're in a Central time zone. The best. Look how we just talked that out and figured something out on our own. We didn't have to Google like you did with Justin Tucker.

And on this day in 2018, the Browns ended their 17-game losing streak. So it's a bit of a yay-boo here. So that's great, right? They had a 17-game losing streak. So it's a bit of a yay-boo here. So that's great, right? They had a 17-game losing streak ended today. Okay. With a 21-21 tie against the Steelers. They didn't even win. That's really tough.

I believe that means, did Hugh Jackson go like 130-1 or something? Something crazy. Yes, there was like a winless streak of. Yeah. But that's not a losing streak. That is not a losing streak. That's embarrassing. Okay, so they went 1-15, 0-16, and then at 2-5-1, he was fired.

And he was clearly getting better. Okay, so Cleveland 3-36-1. That was his lifetime record? In Cleveland, yeah. He went 8-8

as probably an interim in Oakland, but yeah. Wow. 3-36-1. How'd we ever get to 3? I mean, I would be arguing when they fired me. I just won two games in the last seven.

Right. Like two-thirds of all the games I've won have been just like this month. Well, at least they didn't turn around and immediately just hire the running backs coach who was friends with Baker Mayfield in Freddy Kitchens. Actually, that's exactly what they did. Birthdays include former Mavs GM Donnie Nelson, 62. Really weird situation, man.

What happened to that? It's still out there, right? Pending? I guess, but that's been quite some time now. The wheels of justice move slowly. Bob Stoops is 64. XFL.

Didn't he go back to be a fill-in coach recently? It was when Lincoln Riley went to USC. Bob Stoops came back as the coach emeritus. He was like the Brian Curtis of OU. He coached the bowl game? Yeah.

It was really weird. Don't know that I've ever seen anything like that before. Instead of their defensive coordinator, well, maybe he took everyone. He did. Okay. He took everyone. Former Ranger Dan Maselli is 54.

You've probably never heard of him. I have heard of him. Do you have a story about him? He was the, so once when I went into the clubhouse to do interviews. That's right. Dan Maselli was a relief pitcher. Not in great shape.

He did not look like LeBron. And I saw him sitting there like kind of slunched over, slumped over, slunched, whatever. Slunched is a word. Don't look it up. Was sitting at his locker, slumped, slunched over, hunched and slumped. And slouched. And slouched with a sandwich, like, resting on his belly, on his fat belly.

Like you see pregnant women do. Yes. Yeah, he'd totally have to be pregnant to do that. John Coon is 42. Boy. Wonder why he was so popular in Green Bay. I don't know. They loved to chant his name.

He'd get a carry and a half a yard, and the whole place couldn't wait to chant Coon, and the whole place couldn't wait to chant Coon, which sounded like a boo or a moose or anybody with that name. You do love to say it. Coop. But you do wonder, did they? Yeah, yesterday, Amari Cooper's like one catch.

Did you notice that? Yes. Early on? They kind of love him there. Yeah. Just a big Coop. Anyway. J.R. Smith is 38.

Damn. Man. One of the great memes of all time. What a parade he had. Shirtless. Yeah. The meme was after, right? The next year?

The meme was the following year, yeah. And I believe fairly successful college golfer. Yeah. We have a picture of that meme. Oh, that's right. He would go on after his career. Yeah. He went back to school somewhere in North Carolina, I want to say, and learned how to play golf and got pretty good at it.

What was the meme origin? This is when he called timeout and they didn't have – no, that's – I believe the game was tied. He was just like dribbling the ball out. No, he got a rebound off of a free throw, and instead of putting it back up, he dribbled it out because he thought they were winning, and I believe they were tied. Yeah, and then they end up going overtime and losing.

And get smoked. Yeah. But look at LeBron like – But this was – You were – I just. We could have. I believe Kyrie was hurt. Maybe Kevin Love was hurt.

They had no business beating the Warriors. And I think this was game one. And they actually had a chance. And J.R. Smith dribbled it out. But no, his parade. He. You know, the parade's what? Was it the next day?

Next few days? No, it's like three days later. Okay. He is shirtless but still has his game shorts on. Yeah, hasn't. And so he's all tatted up and he's just walking around. Hasn't changed in three days? No, but yeah, in his game shorts and no shirt.

It was awesome. Deli's there. Riley Cooper is 37. Who? I wrote down Kemp's name. Oh, Riley Cooper. Okay, I think it's Riley. Yeah, a pretty big one.

Yeah, that's a fairly sizable one. What was that? Racial something? Yeah. He was at a concert. Yeah. And he yelled, I'll fight every N in here.

But I curiously don't think he actually meant to refer to someone who's a minority. Yeah. I think it was just a word that he uses.

Because, as you know, Yeah. You're in a locker room. People say things. People, like guys in the locker room say it.

We're locker room talk. They grab them by stuff. If you're a star. Joe Theismann is 75. Do you know that's how Joe Theismann pronounced his name up until he was in college? I did. Oh, Rob knows that because Rob's a Redskins fan. Because when he was in college, they wanted to mount a Heisman campaign for him.

He was a pretty good quarterback. Okay. And so they noted, oh, wait, his name is kind of spelled the same. What if we just pronounced it like that? And they said, so they started as calling him Theismann as in Heisman. I can tell right now that he thinks we're doing a Rocky IV yes and. This is true, right? But this is 100% true.

Look it up. I'll take your word. Thanks. And then he may have done commercials for like adult diapers or something real... It was definitely something pretty embarrassing. I want to say...

Do you guys know? It might have been dick pills. That has become a lot more mainstream, too. I don't think people would be embarrassed by that anymore.

Doesn't it seem? Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you recall, you talked to Terry Bradshaw about it. Yeah, because Jimmy didn't want to do it and he gave it to Terry.

Jimmy didn't want to do it, yeah. So what you're saying is... It It was a big deal back then. Extends. So this space on the dumb zone is open is what you're saying. That's right. Dan is deep in thought. He's looking for some audio.

I wonder if this is it. It may or may not be. Let's see if we need it. Hi, I'm Joe Theismann, and no matter what stadium I broadcast from, I would always have to find the closest bathroom, just in case I had that sudden urge to go. Well, you get that. Okay, what's he selling?

I want to hear it. It's diapers. Dan's right. Yeah. So if I can't find one, we'll go with a diaper. Diaper wouldn't catch what I was putting down. Oh, my God. Dick LeBeau is 87.

Did not know he was still with us. I'm with you, but I confirmed this morning that he is. And you've seen him, correct? Mm-hmm. Can you believe he was an NFL player? No. But he was. Much like just about everybody who's 85-plus who played in the NFL.

Jerry playing guard. 5'8", guard. Right. Looked 60 at 30. Tom Wolpat is 73. Dukes. He was a featured guest on the Tom Green Show. Oh Wolpat is 73. Dukes. He was a featured guest on the Tom Green show.

Oh yeah? Yeah. I think recurring. Angela Cartwright is 72. Is that Bart Simpson? I think it's Bart Simpson. I think you're right. Hugh Grant is 64. He's hunky.

Adam Sandler is 58. Blake. I love Adam Sandler. He has a real unique niche interest. Who's not pro-Adam Sandler, though? He does seem like a great dude. For some reason, he's been coming up on the show a lot. That's my Adam Sandler. Yeah, Dan's got That's my Adam Sandler.

Yeah, Dan's got a pretty decent Adam Sandler. Eric, Stone Street is 53. College football. I don't know what that means. He's a modern family guy, right? Yeah. Oh, he played college football? He either played or somehow...

He ate one. Ate a college football. I think he ate a college football. That's right. He would do the Texas OU thing that Corby would do before the game, you know? Where you just collect a check to go emcee a crowd or something.

Oh! Like at? At the Cotton Bowl, yeah. Oh, so you've seen him? I have. Did he go to OU? I believe he either went there as a huge fan, something. But, yeah, he's been in a couple of those college football campaigns. By the way, did you see McConaughey at halftime at the big house?

Oh, yeah. I'm sure we'll hear that later this week. Did you see him calling in to game day from a private jet? Oh, yeah. I'm sure we'll hear that later this week. Did you see him calling in to game day from a private jet? I did not. I heard about that, but I didn't see. Yeah, I thought I saw it with you. I know you're watching game day.

Anyway, I saw it. That's really my story, the whole story. It's a pretty good one. Michael Bublé is 49. Singer. Will make your lady's pants go crazy. Okay, so I always had a pretty negative opinion of him just because the songs suck. But wasn't he the guy that took way too many mushrooms at the NHL All-Star Game last year? Oh, man.

I think you're right. And he did a press conference with the commissioner or something or somebody. And he was like, man, I think you're right. And he did like a press conference with like the commissioner or something or somebody. And he was like, man, I don't know. Somebody told me these were. How do you remember that? That's an original. Yeah. Kemp's been there. That's a great pool.

Is he right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. My buddy told me this is just a micro dose of mushrooms and he was lying. And he's like up at a podium. That's awesome. And he Oh, wow. My buddy told me this is just a microdose of mushrooms, and he was lying. And he's, like, up at a podium. That's awesome. And he's just mashed.

And born of the standout dead, Jimmy the Greek and Colonel Sanders. Okay. How do you feel Colonel Sanders would fly today? How do you feel Colonel Sanders would fly today? Well, yeah, I think poorly. And I know that because the Papa tried to invoke his name and it backfired severely. Do you remember for a couple of years they were having different Colonel Sanderses? Yeah, wasn't Norm one of them?

Norm MacDonald was one for some reason. Yeah, and then like maybe Daryl Hammond. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I thought maybe Melissa McCarthy? I don't know. That might have been a little bit early for her, but I know what you're talking about though. Then died on this day, still

dead, you have Burgess Meredith. Rockies trainer. You never saw one of the Rockies? Meredith, Rockies trainer. You never saw one of the Rockies? No, my dad did. Not even one of them. Here Blake, pull me up real quick. Let's see if this works.

Why not? Stay on the left right over here. My buddy told me this is just a microdose of mushrooms and he was lying. So I'll be honest, I thought I was in glades of glory for most of the time that I was out there until it sort of settled down and then I realized, holy shit, I am at the NHL All-Star Game.

Oh, dude, and he is, you can see in his face, he's flying. How great is that? Yeah. Respect. And died on this day still dead.

You have Catfish Hunter. You ever heard of him? Yeah. Pitcher. Pitcher. There we go.

He died of ALS. Do you know what else they call that? Lou Gehrig's disease. That's right. So we have done this. Which we cured, by

the way, by pouring ice water on us. That's right. Now it's gone. Or at least we're aware of it. Super aware of it. Definitely more aware. Yeah.

But have you ever thought that since only New York Yankees get that disease. I hadn't. The way you would make sure that you don't get it... Uh-huh. Avoid playing for the Yankees. ...is by growing a beard. Ah, okay. I mean, they acquire guys with beards.

It's the only major league team that requires you to shave your beard. And then you end up with ALS. Bartender loved that one. I love this. Look into this. It's a grow beard. Yes. Grow beard, folks.

Wow. And that was Today in History. And guys... I like Cleveland. Can I say it? Hey, I don't care who knows. You can say it, bud. Just walking through downtown, you got more than two buildings.

Mm-hmm. They all look pretty cool. The arcade was awesome. I walked through your mall in the... It's pretty abandoned, but you got the train underneath. I don't know. It's cool. You got cool statues around.

Got to go to Dan's luxurious childhood home. Yeah. Yeah, we need to cover that. I was going to let him... He seemed to be getting upset with me that I kept mentioning it, so I was going to kind of let it go for a little bit until the very end of the show here.

It was just so, yes, it was such a mansion that Jake can't believe it. I just didn't know you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Well, look, I've already got my plans to go find Jake's childhood home. Yes, brother. It better be in the projects. When I was that age, I didn't even know they could build a story on top of the first one. I didn't even know. You should have seen the basement, bro.

We're talking three stories. Man. I know. Yeah. I love our basement. I haven't been down there. I'm afraid to go down there. There's nothing down there. Well, afraid to go down there. You know what?

There's nothing down there. Well, there's some great shirts. Yeah. If you're looking for gear. You need to take that shirt home. Oh, there's no doubt about that. What I was... Something, though, that you told me when we drove into our neighborhood of our Airbnb,

it's not a great area, and Jake said, well, what did you say? Do you recall? The part about drugs? part about ariel castro oh yeah no it definitely feels like the type of place where you could bury somebody underneath one of those houses and or like i would not be surprised keep somebody captive yeah yeah for like 20 years nobody would know no and it turns out then i told you well that's far away from here stop that uh you're you're putting down this great area of ohio city uh no apparently that was we are

right near the area my friend amy told me earlier yeah oh yeah that's uh right over the next town or whatever like two streets over i'm not surprised by that at all at all all. Yeah, so Ariel Castro actually did... He has probably gone to the West Side Market where you went the other day. The West Side Market. That's a cool place.

Pretty cool. Very cool. Yeah. Nice redirect. From what? Ariel Castro? Yeah. Oh, well, that's...

You know, there's history here. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There certainly is. All right, guys. Well, thanks, everyone, for coming here. There certainly is. All right, guys. Well, thanks, everyone, for coming out.

Yeah, thanks. To the four of you left. Thanks for being here. Thanks for coming in on your day off, which you've done twice now. All right. Adios, mofo. We've got to go before this becomes a zoo. Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my video.

Fun times in Cleveland again. Still Cleveland. Come on down to Cleveland town everyone. Under construction since 1868. See our river that catches on fire. It's so polluted that all our fish have AIDS. We see the sun almost three times a year This guy has at least two DUIs Flats look like a Scooby Doo ghost town Don't slow down in East Cleveland or you'll die Our economy's based on LeBron James Buy a house for the price of a VCR

Our main export is crippling depression We're so retarded that we think this is art. It could be worse though at least we're not Detroit. We're not Detroit.