The Dumb Zone FREE - Micah Parsons upcoming extension and Jared Sandler on the Rangers great start | DZ 3-31-25

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

Get every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneA big weekend check on this Monday featuring Today in Fast Food and The Handoff. Micah Parsons said in December he would take less to get more talent around him; we'll see how his upcoming extension is handled. Then Jared Sandler joins us with some Rangers trivia and some short jokes (00:00) - Open: Weekend Check (57:13) - Sports: Micah Parsons's extension (01:22:39) - Bad Beats (01:36:02) - Jared Sandler: Rangers hot start (02:12:50) - News: Impractical Jokers gone wrong (02:28:54) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello! I'm professional broadcaster Dan McDowell, letting you know that you are about to hear one of our free podcasts. But if you'd like to subscribe at DumbZone.com, you'll get four shows per week, plus the weekend wrap-up and any bonus sodes like our Business Wednesday interviews. So, if you forgot how to use the 15-second rewind, that's DumbZone.com to subscribe. That's dumbzone.com to subscribe. Now on to today's program. It's all you bro. Did you start with a burp? No. Well I'm gonna start this week by telling you about Elite Rides DFW. You know them, you love them. That's what's on here is it not? Go ahead. I love Elite Rides DFW. They're great for the weekend. Oh, well, the Rangers did play this weekend. Excuse me, it's the first one that came up. The Rangers played

this weekend. We're going to talk about that today. Party series out there in Arlington. Elite Rides DFW, your source for all rides is going to become a factor in your world. At 844RIDE DFW, you can book on their app, use promo code DZ15 for 15% off your first ride. That's what I tell people. They're like, do you really like it? Do you really like it? And I'm like, it's incredible. It actually is. It's wonderful. It's clean. It's quick. The dude is so cool. And seriously, you got to tell them you heard about it on the dumb zone and they're going to be extra cool to you. Yeah, I mean, think about, you know how Uber, it's nice because it's convenient, but then

the guy's crazy and he's eating a burrito and he's all gross and not elite? Yeah, the car's dirty. You just don't know what you're getting. You know what you're getting because they have a fleet of cars. This isn't just based on they're going to let some spare Blake ride for them, drive for them, and whatever Blake's drive like his. No. Oh, this car has 260,000 miles.

No. Really reliable, though. Yeah, all right. Yeah, cool, bro. Yeah, back of your Datsun or whatever. I'm actually just going to go with an Elite Ride 844 Ride DFW. Thank you, Elite Ride.

The preceding and the following content are brought to you by No PuppetProductions and The Dumb Zone. I just want to say I was terrified. Jake popped behind me one time at a Choco trap house filming in Dallas and I was using the restroom and he just says, ah, the great Graham Harrell. While I'm taking a piss and you know, your leader lost up to you at the urinal, you don't know what to do So I just shook his hand, but was hoping for a bit more next time. I'm sorry

We were in the bathroom. I shouted out the fact that you were wearing a Graham Harrell Jersey in 2023 I just wanted a bit more next time maybe you know alright well next time why don't you keep that thing out? And I'll suck you off right there in the bathroom. Jesus. What, you know? All right, well next time why don't you keep that thing out and I'll suck you off right there in the bathroom, man, Jesus, what do you want? Thank you. It's not your birthday every day, pal. Now I see why your wife's beat.

I'm sorry, it was the next one. Actually, nobody knows. Nobody knows. Nobody knows, only I knew and I was being the jerk by even flashing a look your way. I, the jerk in question, am Dan McDowell. I, his little friend, am Jake Kemp. And I'm just Blake Jones.

That's right. Who will not pick you up in his beater. When Blake picks you up, he hands you a bottle of water from Flint, Michigan. We also have Clayton here today. This is the worst possible water, not Elite Rides. Clayton's running the video and a special treat on the couch next to Blake. Wow.

We've known him, we've loved him. He is Michael Copeland. You know what this is like? You need to stand up and turn around. It's like a... What's your website? A... A... Copeland Production.com. You remember... It's just one of the many Copeland productions. It's A Copeland. It's A. Bob was telling us a story once. You remember, uh... It's just one of the many Copeland productions. It's a Copeland production. It's a.

Bob was telling us a story once, I think Dan's read these books as well, of somebody who had pitched a show to HBO and they just, they wrote back in the notes, need more boobs. Yeah. So we got a great Bob drop. This is kind of what the dumb zone is doing. It's like the show, solid.

But there's a little curb appeal, a little hook missing. So we'll just put Copeland on camera. He's not doing anything. He doesn't even have a mic. Like, the show, solid. But there's a little curb appeal, a little hook missing. So we'll just put Copeland on camera. He's not doing anything. He doesn't even have a mic. He's just here to occasionally be on camera in a cool hoodie. He's so the ladies can vibe. Yeah, we've hacked the algorithm so that when

we feel him drying up every 20 seconds, we slick him up again with a Copeland shot. What were we saying? I was talking to Blake this morning. Yeah. About stuff we need to do on the show and the live stream. Were you like? Plotting against Jake. Yeah, you were saying once Jake's done with his stupid intro,

like we should also say like, like and subscribe. It wouldn't hurt. Yeah. Or here's the thing we were saying. We need, we're going to put up like a thing, words on the video we do. I don't know what you call that. Where it says like you could subscribe, like this is a free show. But if you want the gold on Tuesday and Fridays and Wednesdays and then the Saturday wrap up I mean there's so much extra value you could go subscribe on patreon.com slash the dumb zone or on our sub stack which is dumbzone.com

because we never promote that yeah we don't really promote anything. But we're trying to get better at it. We want to do some marketing and we'll pay for advertising somewhere, so that's cool. But what about doing the place where we actually... I mean it's just because we have so much gold, we've got to use the time for that. But yeah. That's right. Today we have plenty of sports on today's program. I see all the, it looks like we're an ESPN show.

It's just a little rundown. Cowboys, Lakers. Oh my gosh, right? Can we talk about like kneeling or something? Actually, Cowboys, Lakers, and Yankees. That's true. I believe we are going to discuss on today's show. We also have Jared Sandler that doesn't fit But he's kind of a super he belongs on ESPN

he is Going to talk Rangers with us and I guess give away a pair of Ranger tickets What if you are watching live yeah, if you are watching live, and you know your Rangers history Worked out for somebody in the Stavi last week. I've sent somebody to Stavros and OKC this week. Yeah People really do win listening to the dumb. It's true. It's true So did we do did that satisfy you guys little plot that you cooked up, this genius market? Like, are we done? Look, you don't have to put us down.

We don't know what we're doing. We don't have to put us down like, what, Jake's done with his stupid little head? Well, that was obviously comedy, and now you took yours to a personal level. No, no. My comedy is, have we checked off the box of promotion? Can we now get to Blake's Big Week now? It's the Jake show go ahead

We do want to promote later in the week to for Austin and San Antonio We are heading to I guess Wednesday actually we're gonna drive down to Austin and Then we're gonna sleep Wednesday night then we're gonna get up and we're gonna sleep Wednesday night then we're gonna get up and we're gonna go to a The Rivian showroom in Austin Space the Rivian space they won't even let you in there talking all boomer like that in Austin

And I should shout out to Fairlease because they're our exclusive automobile sponsor Now you definitely hear more about them in the coming. Oh, yeah. No, no, I mean I actually called Danny at Fairlease I'm like, hey, do you mind if we just go do a show at the Rivian space like in Austin? It's not he's like, oh, yeah yeah it's no big deal we are how fair it was so fair he was like we're pretty confident in our product you can mention that this this isn't the ticket for a radio station yeah you're not allowed to mention the other radio stations on that like I think if you work on the fan they

were frowned upon you mentioning the ticket. Oh, it's not a ticket thing It's a radio thing. Yeah program director thing. It's a radio Yeah, and then Dan is like, yeah people know they're like there's car dealers everywhere. We're like the best so You know that's and it was very fair of Fairleys to do that. So I wanted to give them a nod as Well, and then yeah Lone Star Beer is sending us down to San Antonio Friday. And we'll be doing a broadcast pretty near the Alamo. The Rose, very near the Alamo, very near the action, man.

Very close to a Fuddruckers from what I understand. I know it's not sports time right now, but it would have been so great if we had our tech continue Yeah, I had ten buddies that were like I'll be at your show on Friday if they close this out mmm, I Did a D. Do you guys tell me if this is a dick move or not? I Have I used to

Damaris and I used to do this at Mavs games There's a point when you watch enough games where you know this is the point where if they lose, I'm really gonna be bothered by it. If you lose a back and forth five point plus or minus game in the second half and you just lose in the Elite Eight, you're like shit, well Florida was great. But there's a point in every game where you pass the pissed off point.

And when tech passed that, I sent it to my two tech buddies that I'm in gonna group chat with As like well, this is the demarcation this time out. They were up like 12 With four minutes five minutes left and who's their coach now? His name is Grant McCaslin. Yeah, North Texas. We got run him out run him out of town. I think they kind of over No, he's great. Is he doesn't sound like it called his son's games at Argyle great, dude. I feel like I need Okay Okay now it makes he's so biased now makes like we're just we're the only people left by sports media that they're not

It's true. Here's the good news. Can't be bought. We did. Join us Friday at the Rose of San Antonio courtesy of Lone Star Beer, folks. It's the national beer of Texas. No. Keep talking, I'm gonna go turn the air conditioning down. The good news is, while tech would've been cool, we do have Florida and we do have Mike Saroy.

Yeah. So it'll be premium Final Four, Calcutta, Mike. It did, or I don't know, did it help that they had a 16 point comeback, the game before? Like don't these things cut even out? Yeah, for sure. And some of the shots that Florida was making were stupid. Also not great to miss both the front ends

of one and ones and a tight game, but in any case. I was kind of glad Auburn made it, because if you'll remember, they were the team that fought on their airplane. Hold on, what's he doing? What the fuck are we doing? He's bumping into our lights and our cameras. I was trying to buy him a little, I was trying to buy him.

I know, I was too, we were both helping, but he's. No, I left my hat downstairs. I wanna get a hat. I left my hat downstairs. I want to get a hat. I hate my white head. I don't have a... Do we need to take a break? Yeah. A makeup lady like Jared Sandler does.

Are you going to make Copeland get your hat? Oh, you want to go get my hat, Michael? No, do not do that. Why not? He can just go to my car and just get whatever you want from the backseat Services wife while you're down there She would love that He can't get her going don't come on buddy

buddy anyway How's your bracket Is that we're doing now yeah, yeah hit, hit that weekend check. Okay, weekend check. This will be brought to us by. Oh, look at this. Oh, how about Fair Lease? How about Fair Lease? Fair Lease Navidad.

Fair Lease Navidad, Fair Lease, speaking of Texas. Texas owned, Texas strong. They are part of the credit union to Texas, which means when you choose Fair Lease, you choose Texas. Fair Lease can help you lease your next vehicle. They've done this for a ton of our listeners. Heard from one of them. Robert, he dealt with Matthew at Fair Lease. Here's how you let them know that you're a dumb zone listener. Go to the, go to fairlease.org.

How did you hear about us, Paige? It pops up on that dropdown menu and then click on the dumb zone. Maybe you'll work with Matthew who delivered this new Chevy Tahoe right to Robert's doorstep. Pretty sweet deal there Blake. Can I jump in? I know this is normally your territory. Go ahead. Okay. Typically when you're buying a lease in a car.

Unfair a lot of times. It's very unfair but this is not in the copy but you give them your phone number and your email and dealerships will span the hell out of that. What Fair Lease does- That seems incredibly unfair. They're the middle and dealerships will span the hell out of that. What Fairlease does is they're- That seems incredibly unfair. They're the middle man. They will take the brunt of that, they'll schedule your test drive,

they'll get you top rate appraisal, and they'll handle all that madness for you. Extremely fair, Fairlease. Are we still doing the spot? Not anymore. You can end it if you want. I ran downstairs to my car. We all know what happened.

We've got a hat. How do you like that? It's a great-looking hat. It's good Weekend check Clayton. What'd you do anything? Clayton running the video today, maybe he has a mic. Maybe not. Yeah, I have a mic. It was a big food weekend Explain so I can't just sit here and read r slash fast food. I've got to live r slash fast food. Boots on the ground. So I had Friday off because you know you guys are gracious employers and allow me to not have to show up to remotes after remotes. Massive aggressive. And so Friday we hit up chick-fil-a

Okay for the smokehouse barbecue Bacon sandwich okay, okay with the Sweet bun they have that they have a sweet bun now And let me tell you they could go ahead and replace every bun with that bun. Yeah, I would not bulk do we go Grilled or normal. That's a dumb as shit you ever asked. He's never ordered anything grilled With the sauce and the bacon I feel like I'd go better with grilled. Okay. Yeah, you know would go better with the grilled fried Yeah, cuz then it like the the the fried texture holds the sauce. It doesn't get slimy, slippy.

Yeah. You can eat it. You're right. And go. In the words of Jake, I'm just in the dojo learning, brother. Yeah, come on. Yeah. Welcome to the dojo of food.

Yeah, order a Diet Coke. So that was pretty good. That got a 9 out of 10 on my scale. It looks fantastic. And I've always been bothered by this. I think the first case of this for me was the Frito burrito. When I first learned that Taco Bell had a Frito burrito, and I learned of the LTOs, and I went there,

and my parents like, they don't have it all the time. I'm like, why? It's Fritos. They just added Fritos. Does LTO mean limited time offer? Of course. And is that something everybody knows? Yes. OK. Michael's shaking his head no. Well course. And is that something everybody knows? Yes.

Okay, all right, Michael's shaking his head no. Well yeah, but Michael doesn't eat fast food. Okay. He's not a fast food beater, all right? All right. All right, so then. But the point is, if they've got the capabilities for that bun, you cannot tell me that the overhead

for having that bun there all the time is so much so as to make it exclusive. There's no reason. It's just because they want to keep you wanting, right? Mm-hmm. But I would sell just as many of them. Then let's see. Oh, with the Chick-fil-A, we did a double up.

We went to the Steak and Shake. But who wants to be a millionaire on every night, according to Jake. All right, go ahead, sorry. We went to Steak and Shake across the street. Tallow fries are back. Steak and Shake going all Tallow all the time. Is that real?

I saw that they were claiming that, but let's see. I could taste the difference. Says now, now 100% And they were really good. Did you got your fries from Steak and Shake? So I went to Steak and Shake got a small fries. Uh-huh went across the street Ran through the drive-through with my app Got a got the sandwich Went home. That's living built my built myself a meal. That's living life right there. Built myself a meal. That's living life right there.

That was Friday, so Saturday. We're on Friday. Yeah. So by the way, Dan. Jesus Christ, how long is this gonna be? They didn't, they didn't used to always have the Doritos Locos taco. It was a limited time deal. Then they said, what if we just allowed people to get it all the time, and now people only want that.

It's the most popular. And they still sell it. Okay. Yeah, okay Yeah, sorry so Saturday we we hit up the Culver same thing went to jack-in-the-box try the new smash hamburger This is interesting because I will I famously will go to three different places for Like I'll go one place for me one place for my wife one

place for my daughter and then bring it home Clayton goes to three places for himself in the one meal yeah I it's a life I definitely do not identify with but I'm enjoying hearing about it so all right we start out with the smash burger. Yeah, just the regular Jack smash burger with Jack sauce. Uh-huh. That was an eight on 10. Jack sauce, man. Wasn't that great.

But it was, you know, the Jack sauce really set it off. They really have something called Jack sauce. Yeah. Yeah, it's just every homemade dress and whatever. Yeah, but they know what they're doing. Yeah, they have a salty. Yeah, they have a sandwich called the buttery Jack. It's the least healthy. But they call it Jack sauce.

Yes. You don't understand that that means? Cum. Yeah. OK. But they're aware of that too? But it's Jack in the Box. It's Chick-fil-A sauce.

It's Taco Bell sauce. I know they have Taco Bell sauce. Why don't they call it Tangy Sauce? Because it sounds like cum. I know, but it's a restaurant. And they call it, you know, tangy sauce. They call it because it sounds like cum. I know, but it's a restaurant. You'll remember it because it sounds like, yeah, because they do stoner commercials. Yeah. Yeah, I get it.

Jack in the Box is for the bros. It kind of is. And then we swung by the Taco Bell across the street. Jesus Christ, what are we doing here? Is Dan in the meeting like, guys, we can't call it Jack's sauce. That means cum. Yeah. I'm just asking, is that them on purpose doing that? What if people protest them? This guy is what are we doing is Dan in the meeting like guys we can't call it jacksauce that means come yeah

I'm just asking is that them on purpose doing people protest because Dan was in their meeting and I can't believe it They're letting the Dan in their meeting It's wrong the Dan's won in that meeting Alright, so what the bell have the offer. What are we doing? What are we eating a chicken? They're good. No, Street Chalupas. Yeah, Cantina Chicken Street Chalupas. Good flavor, good crunch, good overall look, but the PPB was way off on these.

That's a price per bite, Dan. Yeah. So the PPB was $1.50 per bite. yeah So the the PPB was a dollar fifty per bite That's another way to turn this is portion size Yeah, these are little guys, but I guess I'm Old school PPB is for the kids. It's money ball. Yeah. Yes. It's so yeah for six bucks. That's not really That's not really what I'm looking for. I talk about bucks. Yeah for two of two small ones not what I'm looking for a Taco Bell and

then I had to try the This was Sunday jack Jesus Christ how Jimmy John said yeah, I didn't do a weekend check you last week, okay, ooh Jimmy John's tried the toasted sandwich and I didn't get to do a weekend check last week. Okay. Jimmy John's tried the toasted sandwich. And? They need to, their bread's not made for toast. You know what? I thought about that. As soon as I saw the goose.

It's hard bread, yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had a regular sandwich at Jimmy John's? They'll do it. Like a regular wheat bread sandwich. Now what am I, a communist? I think I just tried it once. Who even knew they would have that?

I didn't know you all baked that. There's a picture of it up there. But yeah, that can toast. But the regular French bread. Like once you just get your burger on two pieces of lettuce. I don't even think that's- Which I've done. I know, but I don't even think that's that healthy. Well, I mean, you're taking away the bun, you're taking away carbs.

I know, but a little bread every now and then is not going to kill you, Derek, right? You need to... I don't know. But no, I do... Carbs elsewhere? Yeah. Alright. Who wants next?

I don't know how to even begin to follow. Yeah, it's tough to follow. My weekend was pretty suburban guy generic and I f'in love it. I love the weekend so much now dude. So much done. Kids sports. Kids sports, kid birthday party, we had TC's daughter's birthday. 10.30 right? 10.30. How'd it go? Clockwork. I was out there at 12.15, I was home at 12.45, my son was asleep at one. Beautiful, perfect. And that, it's amazing, you just can't beat it.

Everybody does the two PM-er, which is like the worst time, cause now everybody ate a bunch of pizza and cake, but now so you don't want dinner. It needs to be 10.30 or honestly like four. And your whole day is kind of shot. Yeah, 10.30 is great if you can pull it off. So we had that, We had soccer Saturday. That was super fun.

I am a yelling dad, but not a aggressive dad. I am a Nora. They're going to do a goal kick, right? I feel like all you really need to teach your kid is get away from the ball. So I would yell like, Nora, back up. Back up. Back up.

This way. Stop. But I'm not yelling beyond that. back up. Back up, back up. This way, stop. But I'm not yelling beyond that. You're not coaching yet, huh? No, but I did talk to the lady just because the other team, the two teams we've played so far had like three coaches and clearly practice a lot. And your team has one coach.

Has one coach. And she was there trying to get the roster together. It's nice to have a couple of assistants. Our team's just kind of standing around while their team's running through this or that. So you're gonna be an assistant. I just, I think I told her like I would try to help. There's another guy.

That's good. That's your gateway. Yeah, no, and I'm not totally opposed to it. Cause I did that and that's what got me in the next year. I ended up being, you know. Your girls are also, were kind of athletes and I don't know about Nora. So it may wash out on its own. But no, we, damn I got.

You gotta get a little experience with Nora and then when. For the boy, yeah. When the boy gets going. Make my mistakes for the real, for the prime time. Yeah. The real deal. I guess I'll hop on r slash fast food too

because you guys know I'm a big pizza guy Domino's is going stuffed crust for the first time in their history, and I gave it a run Saturday night, and it delivers Did you how can you mess up stuffed crust Papa's was not good. Oh really no it stuck pizza huts like the original But Domino's has never taken a crack at it. That's certainly, you don't feel this is idiocracy? Stuffed crusts? I mean, come on. No I don't. Look, this thing is the most unhealthy thing you can ever eat. That's really not like- What if we somehow added like another thousand calories of cheese? Well the thing is you eat less of it. Like I-

I don't know. I probably don't. You just get full faster, but either way they nailed it. Like I gotta eat four pieces, yeah. They did nail it is what I'm telling you. Well congratulations to you. I tried watching Chelsea Handler's new special because I care about women and it was my wife's turn. And as usually the case, about 20 minutes in my wife was like, this blows. Like I know. I knew that when you proposed this.

When you said, let's watch Chelsea Handlers. I mean, she's done funny, she's had a funny career, for sure. But I- Did she nail 50 Cent? Quite a few people, yeah. Oh, did she? Yeah, what's the, she was with some Asian comedian, right? Or maybe he's not Asian. Joe Koi? Is he Asian?

Filipino? Did he do the Oscars or something where he bombed pretty hard? Oh, is that right? Golden Globes or something? Well, he's a little fella. He's a little fella, and so you can do jokes about where his penis will fit and 50 cents won't. Ah. I watched one episode of the new Seth Rogen,

Evan Goldberg, joined the studio, and I think I'm in. It's a little bit wanky, you know, like it's a little bit curb in that they're like, look at all these famous people we know. We'll have Martin Scorsese in the pilot, but I think it's a little bit curb in that they're like look at all these famous people we know we'll have martin scorsese and the pilot but i think it's really well done and you know seth rogan and like jonah hill and all that i got kind of weird over the last 10 15 years like what are they about so is it a show where seth rogan is just seth rogan no he's an executive trying to make a show. But a lot of people are themselves.

But this felt like it was back to, and it looks awesome. Like it shot real frenetically. So it's like R-less, updated R-less? Kinda, but it's cool. I think it has real potential, and it looks great. I saw John Mulaney has a new show. Have you seen that? Yeah, no.

Like a talk show on Netflix. He travels somewhere and does an interview right or no? Like it looks like a talk show. Yeah. Have you seen that? No. It's like a talk show on Netflix. He travels somewhere and does an interview, right, or no? It looks like a talk show. It's live. Yeah, TC was talking about that. Three people on it. Yeah.

It's like, yeah, every Wednesday I think it drops. Worked in the yard. I don't know, are you... When you track your activity, I don't know what you track besides steps. I just kind of look at steps. But for me Saturday and Sunday are by far my highest activity days. Like by a factor of 120% or 20% I guess. Yeah because you're not sitting in here all day. But at home I just never stop moving on the weekend. With kids, you're just always moving.

And I love it. It's really weird because as you get into that, you're going to wonder, like what did we do before we had kids? Yeah. I know what I did. It sent me away for a month. Make kids, yeah. No, we would meet at the bar at three o'clock

every Saturday and watch sports with our friends and then roll that into a night out. Just get hammered? Yeah, just hang out all day, you know? Find somewhere to watch sports and hang out all day. And then once your kids get too old and actually uh... What do I do? No, then you're wondering, how did I fit it?

Cause I'm real busy. Dude, my dad's the same way. All weekend, I am jam-packed. How did I fit a whole day of just going to a softball tournament or whatever? And I know it gets worse. The whole Friday night of prepping our lineups. I know it's going to turn into a beating, but for now.

Oh, no, I don't think it's a beating. I think it's great. Pretty kick ass, man. Yeah. I love it's great. It's pretty kick-ass, man. Yeah. I love it. Blake, or do you want to go last? I know you usually do. You like hitting cleanup.

I don't care. OK, go ahead. Kind of slimmer to Jake. Just Brooks Gymnastics, nephew T-ball, whatever. Squared away Sunday. It's all kind of the same now. But to spice it up a little bit, why don't we? Uh-oh. What are we doing?

Are you not playing? Do we have a new song for the handoff? Oh, you want a new handoff? Let me see. I think we do. We have a variety of new songs, actually, for the handoff. Well, while we wait. Oh.

The handoff. Every time. So we have some subby submissions. Okay. I'll do one per, so why don't we do this one. As a fellow transitioning mid-30s run-the-ball guy, it pisses me off when restaurants force you to scan a QR code to look at their menu.

Why don't you print off some pieces of paper, you cheap Fs? Yeah, that's a, it's one that, if we were to make the list of misguided directives from the pandemic, right next to, you've got to throw the baseball out after someone touches it in MLB game, would probably be QR code menus. Printing things is cheaper than air.

Like you just print the menu. It's very frustrating. I get it. It's easy to just scan it and there's no handling of the menus, which is not a big deal. But then it's just everyone is on their phone. Exactly.

And you go to dinner to not do that. Right. And it looks, yeah. For me especially, cause I try to, if we're gonna dinner to not do that. Right. And it looks, yeah, it's for me especially because I try to, if we're gonna try to not get the phone out so the kid doesn't see it, well now I've got to stare at my phone for the first eight minutes after we sit down to scroll through, you know, wife's looking at a wine list which takes forever. It's a beating. It's a bad bid. It can't be saving them that much money. No. And it also, it'll put me on my phone,

but looking at the menu is how I get out of having to talk to my wife. And I'm still deciding. Let me still look. Yeah, hold on. No, hold on. I'm just still looking. Can I tell you one of those?

And if it's on my phone, then I feel bad. But if it's a menu, for some reason, it doesn't make me feel that bad. You're right, but here's the problem. You have to find the perfect, the perfect midpoint where you can look at your menu long enough to not have to talk to your wife, but also the waiter doesn't think that you're still looking at the menu and misses you on their pass. There's a game to play there.

Thereby adding 10 minutes to your meal. So Adam, I'm with you. That's a bad bid. Yeah, let's get rid of the QR code. Well, you know who hates that is my dad. I've seen him melt down. So a part of the weekend... Robot? Robot menu?

...was I took Brooks to the playground, just a neighborhood playground, park, what have you. And he was getting along great with the other neighborhood kids, they were playing, whatever, doing their thing, and then the sun is starting to go down, and then the teenagers show up. Oh no. I kind of get what they're doing, you want to smoke pot,

you want to finger each other, I don't know what you want to do here, but they're little kids You wanna smoke pot, you wanna finger each other. I don't know what you wanna do here. But they're little kids. You gotta wait till dark, man. Yeah, dark's later now. And then the kids are weird around the bigger kids, and it just kinda ruined it, then all the little kids had to go home.

But I didn't like that the- What time was it? How close tonight were we? It was setting, so it was probably seven-ish. That's not your time anymore. There are rules now. I think it's seven o'clock. I thought it was settings. It's probably seven ish. That's not your time anymore Their rules now. I think it's seven o'clock That was dark on a weekend night. That's time for a four-year-old. Yeah unwritten rules might be five o'clock You're out of there five. Yeah a lot of sunlight left Well, not everybody not everybody's around the ball guy

Well, it's also not everybody's toddler goes to bed at 1130 after the tonight show like yours does. You're right. After he catches the bee block of SNL. Some of that is wife is nurse, she doesn't get home until like nine. So if I'm home by seven then what do I do? I just wanted to milk all the sunlight I could. Well then there is a small chance.

And then I smelt these kids coming. That your son is gonna know what swag smells like Because they're gonna be smoking nickels God did you hit him with they roll in you were like So did you try to relate at all? No, I told him to pull their damn pants up All right, then let's do I can't tell which one of these is the boys or the girls anymore. The handoff. We gotta do something about these morning routine videos.

Oh man. I was wanting to make one. Do you know what these are Dan? I bet Copeland has something else to say. I saw one flying around last week. It's all that my feed is because I follow all the guys who actually do that stuff. So like what? There's mouth tape sitting in my Amazon cart right now. Dude. I've been staring at it for three months. So it's just how to make your smoothie and... It's just how to be, it's how to lock in. It's just. How to be an alpha male.

The day in the life of a. All that you've done before 10 a.m. Yeah. 10. You've done more in a day than most people do before they get out, I don't know. Yeah. You could probably do it.

There's a lot you gotta do. You gotta do red light therapy. You gotta do ice. You gotta stretch. You gotta dip your face in lemons. All these people are at the gym at 4.30 in the morning and they're just, whatever. Oh, I think Jeff said he did that.

You know, Jeff Frink, our website guy? He does what? Well, tell him that I saw one of those videos. We were talking about this last week. He saw one of those and it was like a dip your face in lemon water. And he's like Felt pretty great. Yeah, it's a thing. Well tell him I'm done with morning routine videos. Okay

And I just wrote a little thing here for the for those that are in there are some funny ones though Like I saw one of the Rizler the Rizlers was not funny, but I saw, and again, it's only okay, because the guy was Indian. I saw a guy doing like Indian guy morning routine, it was just super shitty. It was like the water he was brushing with wasn't that clean. Was that the point where it is trying to be funny? Yeah, like he couldn't get the tape off his mouth,

like the suit he put on for work, he was clearly like a telemarketer, like a scam. It I like making fun of the guys for sure yeah let's do one like Dan's is just you have to time-lapse a full hour of wordle and oh yeah words with friends and yeah it's all in my bed yeah the clock just runs yeah let's do that well here's established the run guys thoughts on morning routine videos Yeah. The clock just runs. Yeah, let's do that. Well, here's Establish the Run Guy's thoughts on morning routine videos. You didn't wake up at that time.

You woke up five minutes before that to set up your gay little phone on your gay little tripod. It's true. You could have brushed your teeth three minutes ago if you didn't have to angle your shot to not be in the mirror reflection. Oh, let me bang out four push-ups to make people think I did 100.

Let me film myself driving. That's real safe I bet my co-workers love me impromptu filming them Then let me play everything in two times speed to make it seem like I got a lot done today You know what's missing from all of that other human interaction? Yeah, actually doing work at your job things that are actually important in life There's nothing not a whole lot of that and to the dudes that do this The only reason this became popular is women started doing this, and it was nice to watch their morning routine in their bra.

Not going to lie to you. Brushing their teeth in their bra, working out in their sports bra. That's fantastic. But if you're a guy and think people actually care about your day and your routine, you aren't an influencer, you're a fag. Whoa, my goodness! ["The Clothes of the Night"]

So he doesn't want that to be the clothes? Like, what are we doing here? I mean... Be our productions. Heh heh heh heh heh heh! How did you not want to close out, and I have to now follow up... Yeah, what'd you do?

The handoff. Like, yeah, I watched a show. And walked around Lawn and Garden again. Yeah, I got 10,000 steps in yesterday. Well, I do have a weekend check. In that, we're assembling a list of things that are back. And I wrote on my list, Chris Beard. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yep. I don't know if it's because of the change in culture or whatever, but Chris Beard's back. I'm happy to pad our list, but the guy wins a lot of basketball games. So the SEC, somebody was always going to turn the. Does that chick that he hit win lots of basketball games?

No, no. So they're willing to turn their eye to that behavior. She probably just wants Pub for a book or something. She broke his glasses. Yeah, I was gonna say, the joke is not really there anymore. You guys kept... Well anyway, you may remember I was not looking forward to this weekend. Yeah. We're all very... And there was a countdown in my head.

... for your wife engagement event. Right, I had to go to her work event, which she works for a school, Westlake Academy. And it was the Westlake Academy slash Town of Westlake Employee Celebration. So apparently they have an annual thing. I guess Westlake Academy is a smaller school. And the town of Westlake is a small town. And so they kind of combine, like everybody knows everybody so like the mayor was there and the fire you know the fire chief and the police chief and there so they would give like well there was like a little award ceremony and they had like an award ceremony for service throughout the town and then they also

had an awards that you know so someone who's like with the fire department came up and spoke on that and Then somebody from the school came and spoke on you know, it gave out some awards for the school workers cash bar To which my wife heard all of their beer options And which my wife heard all of their beer options. And she went Lone Star Beer. I was very proud of her. And I said, you sure you don't want the blue?

She goes, I like the taste of the red better. So she's with Run the Ball Guy. She did not go Lone Star Light. It's perfect. She rides the lawnmower and drinks the red can. And complains about prices. And just dominates blue can Dan, who's a gentle lover, who makes sure that.

So cash bar, there's buffet dinner. What are we looking at? Enchiladas, chicken or cheese. So I loaded up on some cheese. Rice, beans, chips. Solid. The regular. I prefer that.

Yeah. This was at a private event room, which is not attached to, but it's like across the lot from, it's on the lot of Billy Bob's. Yeah. It's called 81 Club. You ever been there? I have. I might have been called something else at the time, but I have definitely been in that smaller room. So she tells me this about a half hour before we're gonna leave. And that's a lot of conjecture on when we're gonna leave because I'm like, look, I'm happy to get anywhere

really early because I wanna leave early. I'm happy to get anywhere really early. Because I want to leave early. And so, a lot of negotiation and back and forth, because the time scheduled was only six to 10. It's not like this is an all night affair. But still. That's a long time. But still, I'm working on trying to get out of there before I'm even there.

Sure. So, she sends me the flyer, like a half hour before we're going to leave. Saddle up for an unforgettable night. It's Western themed. Because it's at Billy Bob's. Fun-filled evening lined up with music, delicious food, activities, and an awards show to show our heartfelt appreciation for all that you do. Here's the real kicker when you join us for the celebration you get free entrance to Billy Bob's to keep the good times

rolling all night long. Absolutely. Let's make a whole night out of this night. So grab your boots and don't forget to RSVP aire y'all come dressed in your finest Western wear and don't forget those cowboy or cowgirl boots exclamation point we're looking for that perfect blend of southern charm and Western flair so slip into your favorite denim pull on your best boots and let's make this a night to remember exclamation point This probably was gonna happen either way, but I'm blaming What's his name?

Taylor for this one The yellowstone guy yeah Sheridan yeah By making everybody think oh put all my old diddum so unbeknownst to me my wife has like a cowboy hat. And we're ready to go, and she's wearing her cowboy hat and her freaking... Your wife is wearing a cowboy hat. With a plaid shirt or whatever. So she's like looking the part and so I grabbed someone had given us a Dallas

Cowboys baseball hat like says the boys on it and it's got a Dallas Cowboys star on it because they thought it would work for the TV show the boys and for the Cowboys so I wore that. You're doing bits? She's like oh, oh, that's a good bit. She liked it. Nice. Nice. And it worked to some degree as well. It depends on your delivery. I bet. If you start with, I heard it was a cowboy theme tonight.

And so I wore this hat. And they're like, oh, OK okay but I found that this must be why you go to the clubs to work on your delivery or how to craft a joke because I found that if I said hey I wore this or they're like oh Dallas Cowboys and I'm like yeah Dallas Cowboys hat I wore this Cowboys hat because I thought I heard it was Cowboys themed and like it just gets a little too clunky and yeah you don't lay it out like that yeah so you have to first say I heard it was cowboy themed and then I wore the cowboy hat. Then you just have a meeting out of your hand. Right. With the rest all the

enchiladas you want. So like I said there's an award ceremony they gave out these I don't know what you call it it's not a trophy it's not a plaque but it's like a trophy and it has words it's a glass thing but then it has words on it yeah and I was playing words with Dan in my head last night I thought you know what I'm not gonna look it up I'm gonna let these guys answer it but it turns out I'm not the idiot no it's like a little piece of granite yeah like the bottom is real and then it's a pointy thing. Yeah, it looks like a piece of the aggro rock from Gups. Someday it will be blood stained,

because my wife got an award for being good at something. Jesus. For doing something, and then, I told her on the way home, someday this will be blood stained. It seems it's great, like she was on a high, like oh I can't believe I won this award. And I go yes it seems to be the greatest, a great night to remember, but then you know and we flash forward to the future and that will be lying on the ground next to

your body and it'll be blood-stained. The thing that would have happened actually is that she had tripped coming in the door and then fell and hit her head on this and died. But then I came in later and then picked her up and then my hand, now they implicate me. Yeah. In this. And you just walked up. I played this whole thing out.

You just walked up. Right. And who's going to believe that I didn't kill her? They'll just start playing audio from the show over the years. Like clearly you had a problem with your wife. Yeah, and nobody, like, even the red can thing, he was jealous of her, he felt dominated. Right. Yeah, for sure. And even like this award.

She made him go to this thing. This award you'll be like jealous of, right? Oh, yeah. Why don't you get awards? I already am. You're barely getting, I mean, Talkers Magazine hasn't mentioned you in years. She's getting awards It's fitting

All of that instead of just saying I'm proud of you and good job You know this seems good now Again, I didn't really kill her it looks like I did though You wouldn't I probably wouldn't you wouldn't no's unlikely I would. I'm pacifist. Listen, there will be a quote In that true crime podcast about that case where I say the damn McDowell I know. So it's really ridiculous To bring spouses to these things Because I didn't meet one spouse who really wanted to be there except for the lady

spouses they're all interested in are there other ladies that work with my husband. Guys I don't think care I don't care if there's a hot piece if Michael Copeland is working with my wife because I'm not really worried about if she's getting a little on the side. Like, let's just be honest. We're just happy that our wife isn't with us. Where, you know, the wife wants to know if there are ladies that work with you, and they're very interested in that. So anyway, now it's a big thing of I got to walk you around.

Oh! But it's your their conduit to, like she can't just walk up to one of her bosses and be like, oh hey, how's it going? But if I'm with her, it can be like, oh I really wanted you to meet my husband. It's a pretext. Yeah, so I don't know what we're gonna do next year,

because it's gonna be a bunch of all the same things. Let me tell you real quick though, you never know if somebody's gonna be at a job for a long time, but I met my wife pretty much right after she was out of college. She had just started at this company. One of the first things we did was go to her company Christmas party. I met a couple of other people who were in entry-level positions and met their husbands, and then I knew every year I was going to get to see those guys for like 10 years and maybe a couple other guys joined the fray that either worked there

or their wives worked there and we'd maybe see each other once or twice throughout the year but it kind of becomes a fun thing when I don't know about now but in your 20s and early 30s you know and then one of the older guys at the company would find us out back like like, oh, come on, let me hit that shit. It can be fun, but you probably gotta be the right age for it. Yeah, there was no hitting anything out back, unless somebody was hitting something, but they didn't include me. And I'm upset if they didn't,

because I'll join you. So yeah, so we had the dinner, they give the awards out, then they have, then it's like, go over to the dance floor, because they have like a show with, it was like SMU students or some such, and they're line dancing. And then a couple of the people from the party who were a bit liquored up just kind of went and joined in the line, like, hey hey I know this line dance so they would join and I'm watching line dancing and I really love choreography like you can suck me into anything with a routine but if you really look at it it's very spare if it was just one person doing that dance you would be like what am I watching here you're just kind of doing this and then you do

this and then you do this and then you do this and then you turn around. Like you're not doing anything. It's very little movement. So just pick next time you're watching line dancing you're like oh look how cool this is and you're yeeping and hon and like you just think narrow it down to just one person and go let's say that was the only person on the dance floor. I would not be impressed by this at all. Does the electric slide count as a line dance? Yeah. Because that's as bad as it gets. If you saw one person doing that,

you would think that person was special needs, if you just saw them by themselves. So when you say Joe Rogan, listening to Joe Rogan makes dumb people feel smarter or something, like watching line dancing makes you think you're cultured Joe Rogan, listening to Joe Rogan makes dumb people feel smarter or something. Yeah, yeah. Like watching line dancing makes you think you're cultured or something, like, oh, this is a cool thing. And it's really not.

It really kind of sucks. I'm playing games in my head because she's doing a lot of talking and I'm just not. Like I don't know anyone. And I'm playing, she doesn't know that I've done this but I've assembled my top five hottest co-workers of hers and then I was also breaking that into hottest spouses that are here as well just to see where she ranks yeah she's in there murderable she's still in she's still in the game. Cool. I know she goes to

early workout classes and stuff. Gotta keep trying working at it. But we're like halfway through the night or even more than that and some guy, a guy we were sitting with. In fact, one of her coworkers is like, so, like he's whispering to me, he goes, so am I, is it more awkward for me to just like keep pretending that I'm not like a subscriber and stuff? And. Hell yeah. So this guy must be really cool because she has never come home going,

oh I heard you said blah blah blah blah blah. When she worked for Southlake schools that would happen all the time. Like I got in trouble, I'm not allowed to secretly record her anymore because somebody came in and told her oh I heard you on the ticket. Dan did a secret recording of what you were saying about owning a monkey last night and then she came home that night and it was a huge argument. Literally very mad at me. You didn't tell our entire audience,

like, hey, this could be a funny thing, but we have to be cool about it to keep doing it. You absolutely know I did. Yeah, I know. I said it ahead of time. Hey, if you know her, don't say anything, because then I'll never be able to bring you this again. I hope the dope in me hit was worth it.

I hope you're a cool guy at Dragon Island. But this guy, again, we got a down guy here. He must keep himself in the shadows as far as him letting her know that... I like it. What's what? And then when you're in a situation like this where you are forced to go to a thing that you don't really want to go to, but you've set kind of a leave time, the most uncomfortable part of the evening is five minutes before the leave time that you have set.

And you're sizing up the mood and the vibe, and there's no chance in hell she's out of here in five minutes. In fact, if I can get her out of here in a half hour, it would be a big win. Yep. Like, it's not even the time for me to tell her, let's start saying goodbye, because now she's... We were watching a show this weekend that was talking about, like, the Irish goodbye. Actually, they called it the French goodbye.

Just leaving a party. And the show was pointing out, hey, it's okay to do this nowadays because you can just send a text saying thanks for having me. And I agree. Like, that's happened a million times with people coming over here for the cowboy watching parties. where people will just bolt right afterwards. And I don't care if you bolt right afterwards or not, I'm at home. You wanna hang out and talk a little bit, I'm cool, it's whatever.

But you know, they wanna get out of here and then there'll just be a text of, hey, thanks for having us and it was great. Sorry I didn't stick it, like, no, we don't have to do goodbyes. We don't have to do that. I don't stick it like no no we don't have to do goodbyes we don't have to do that I don't need a goodbye because she needs to give a goodbye to like every single person that could possibly maybe be offended one one thing you can try

and it probably doesn't help if you're not really drinking and your your spouse is but one thing you could try is the do a couple goodbyes and say, I'm gonna go pull the car around. Ooh, that's big. Yeah. So now there's some pressure from her to be like, my husband is outside, like I gotta go. But really, if she doesn't come out there right away,

who cares? Now you're just in the car by yourself, chilling, vaping, listening to podcasts. And then whatever, when she shows up, you go home. At least you're not in the fire anymore. And then we did end up. Asking me how it's been working for Ben and Skin all these years. Again, man, same as last year.

I've still never worked with their show. I don't know what else to tell you. And you and then when I when you guys had JD on it What me? still Then when I'm leaving Left about 45 minutes later than we had originally planned which was when so we got within the hour We left it like 915 Wow perfect you threaded it. We had decided, you know, we'll stay halfway and then an extra half hour.

But then, yeah, I don't know that I did thread it. We left kind of late. To me, it's a little later. It's a little later, but it's not 10 and it's not even sniffing the, hey, let's go out after. Oh yeah. But my cowboy hat comedy

that I did get on the way out was, and I'm still meeting people throughout the whole evening, and it was, oh I see you're a cowboy fan. My condolences. Yeah. Oh, real funny. Get a lot of that. Original.

Get a lot of that. Not a lot of people aware that they've won the ninth most regular season games over the past 27 years. It's really funny how you guys. Really over the last 15 years, there I believe, Sixton wins. What's funny is I knew that you guys would immediately think that was a funny thing, that I was told that.

And I was spending 10 minutes on the drive home trying to explain to her why that was funny Like I had to type that into my phone before we drove away Yeah, because that was the last thing I heard when we were walking out. So I'm like, hold on. I gotta You know, I'm keeping my notes app all all night and sure and She she's like what why was that funny that he said that I'm like well cuz It's just generic fan talk and like. Dude, no spot worse than trying to explain

why something like that is funny to your wife. I'm like. Because I do the same thing. I'm like, I swear a lot of people that listen will also think that's funny, and that's why I'm writing it down. And she's like, well, don't use his name. Well, here's the problem, too.

I don't know his name. Here's the problem, too. I don't remember anyone that I ran into. I mean, I don't think my wife or your wife are both just massive normie dorks, but the problem is when you're explaining why you think it's funny, sometimes the person, they would think that's funny, right?

So your wife might be a condolences person, and you're saying, I think those people suck. So when you're trying to explain it to someone, it's like, here's a, let me tell you, let me tell you a good example of this. I bring this up all the time because I see Gordon like once or twice a year and this is all we talk about is Javier.

One time on a vacation with my father-in-law and my in-laws, my wife is talking to my father-in-law about my job and about our trips to New Orleans and stuff and she's like, play Javier for him. Now, Javier sounds exactly like my father-in-law. So we're just playing it and he's like staring at me, like what's the funny part? And it's seven minutes long.

Elizabeth Tether is really attractive. Yeah and I'm like, well, you know, Kristen's. It's how funny he sounds. And I know the second she starts playing it, I'm like, we're making fun of this. Right, the reason I think this is funny is. And he about halfway through just kind of got up and went and got a cup of coffee.

Love it. It was so awkward. So awkward, but yeah, condolences pal. So she keep the cowboy hat on later for you? Ooh. Yeah, she rode around on the riding mower. At night. Ha ha ha.

["From the Wonderful World of Sports"] From the wonderful world of sports, radio sports scoreboard. Oh yeah, I like that. Sports Today brought to us by Qualis Roofing. Were they out at your house this weekend? Today, actually. They were doing the inspection

with the insurance company saying, yeah, look, the roof is damaged, the fence is damaged, the shed is damaged, the gutters are damaged, and luckily I didn't have to be there for all that. Blake over at Qualis did all that for me, walked him through everything, and it's been really easy on my part,

getting Qualys to fix me up after the hailstorm. I actually met a guy from Qualys over the weekend. His name was Mark. I met him at the track running. He had a Qualys thing on his vehicle, and I said, hey, you with Qualys? I said, I'm with the dumb zone. He said, man, getting a lot of your listeners

visiting their homes via QualysGC.com. Good people over there. They got a couple deals for you. You can get yourself a DZ T-shirt for free if you have them out for an inspection. If you get a roof, they will pay for a 690 on your behalf. Talked to Brian recently. If you don't want to sit will pay for a 690 on your behalf. We talked to Brian recently. If you don't want to sit in, I don't blame you.

You can get a Traeger grill instead. And then my offer still stands. If you got hit with the hail last week and you have them out, get a new roof, I will give you my referral fee. So 250 bucks in your pocket if you tell them the dumb zone sent you. What a deal.

Damn. What a deal. Damn. What a deal. Go Qalys. So I want to start with a, well, we got Jared on to talk sports in about a half hour. So we're going to talk Rangers and stuff with him. Would you rather start with a cowboy hit or a Lakers talk or something? I got a cowboy thing. Let's do cowboys.

All right. This is just my Calvin Walken story that he put out. I don't know if this is out today or yesterday. The headline is, Cowboys star Micah Parsons wants to become the NFL's first 200 million dollar defensive player. So this comes after this offseason. Miles Garrett got an extension with the Browns for 160 million dollars. Parsons wants more than that. Jamar Chase has the highest average salary for a non-quarterback. $40.25 million a year.

Michael Parsons wants more than that. What happened to the whole... This is all according to this Calvin Walken story, and I'm trying to figure this out. And Calvin Watkins says that Parsons' agent, David Muligeta, is that how you pronounce that? And someone from the Cowboys' front office had preliminary discussions about a contract at the NFL scouting Combine in February, which means they just kind of ran into each other in a lobby and said, hey, we should start talking about Micah's deal. Yeah, we should start talking about Micah's deal.

Right. A person with knowledge of those discussions told the morning news that team owner Jerry Jones has had extensive talks with Micah himself about his contract. So apparently, agents and Stephen maybe kind of exchanged pleasantries and both acknowledged that this is next on the horizon for the Cowboys, big deal. But actually, Micah has gone in and sat in Jerry's office and talked to him one on one about things. Fly on the wall, man.

So Calvin writes that here's the thing. I should just say this before I lay it all out. I feel like this is all fed to him by Micah's agent. Micah's agent wants to make sure, hey, the message is we want to be the highest paid that's ever, you know, we're going to set the new market. I know Micah says stuff to you guys openly, and I don't want to put this on the record or anything, but I got to tell you, behind the scenes, we're pretty much demanding a DAC-type deal.

There is no hometown discounts. We're going to get what Micah could get if he was on the open market. So I just want you to put that in print. I just don't want my name on that, because that would look weird. I'm going against what my client is saying. But look, I'm doing it in the best interest of my client. So, and if you want me to keep feeding you stuff,

Calvin Watkins, then- Get it out there. Just get it out there. So, also written in this article, the threat of a holdout is real when it comes to Parsons. Several Cowboys players, including recently retired guard Zach Martin. Let's throw in the white guy.

I was going to say, you do not go CD Lamb right there. Don't say CD Lamb and Zeke. You've got to say including Zach. Remember this guy? Yeah. The guy you'd let date your daughter. Several players, including recently retired guard Zach Martin, resorted to those measures to get contract extensions or raises.

That's not a big deal, and everybody does it. So when it happens, it's all going to be good. Remember Zach Martin did it. A person with knowledge of his thinking said that Micah hasn't decided whether he will report to voluntary workouts, which start April 7th. Last two years, Parsons has been an infrequent visitor to voluntary off-season workouts. He does report on time for the mandatory veteran minicamp and training camp, where he is subject to fines if he misses time without an excused absence. So basically, I'm just bringing this up to say

this is going to be the big story. Last year it was CD and DAC, I guess, at the same time were the big story. But this will dominate everything. You're about to head into, what, a week from tomorrow is going to be when minicamp camps starts the voluntary. And if Mike is not there, it'll be a big deal. And yeah. And I, I'm obviously a Homer for the guy, but it bought it,

especially with a new coach and another coordinator third and three years, I think he should be at everything. I think they should pay him, I think they should pay him the most. And I think he should respond to that by being there every single time there's a team activity. And just take over, take over. If D-Law was a problem, which maybe he was

and it's your time and not everybody's busting ass the way you are, well, I'm inclined to ride with you because you're the one who's an MVP level player. So whatever, we'll do whatever you say. But from now on, he's gotta be at everything. And I don't know, different people develop relationships across the industry and that means they develop

negative opinions of people, but you don't have to look that hard to find people who work in football who are not super sold on Micah the hard worker. Right and I think it's a little bit different than Luca because I don't think anybody ever said Luca wasn't working hard. It was really more just that he didn't eat well. And maybe because of that he was hurt some. With Micah, he's still producing at a Luka level. It just seems like there's a little bit of disconnect with the actual effort off the field, not just diet.

Like there are people who will tell you he doesn't really work out much as far as like speed work. That he just kind of lifts weights and hangs out. I don't know if that's true or not, but. It's tough to find a. Nobody's sitting here saying that he works out like J.J. Watt or hell, Miles Garrett, if you want to make it like that.

Because Miles Garrett is known as like a freak. And nobody thinks of Micah that way right now. So the perfect scenario would be that he shows up at every voluntary thing, he becomes the leader of the team and he's worth 45 million a year because for the next five years, he's the best at his position and he's a leader. I don't think we're at that point yet.

Yeah, no. And I don't know that we ever will be. But I think to pay a guy like that, you certainly want to see leadership. And Micah. I don't know that we ever will be. But I think to pay a guy like that, you certainly want to see leadership. Well, they're going to do it because they paid Zeke. True. But they also then went to great lengths to tell you how much more mature he is these days.

That's true too. That he's in the quarterback meetings and he's everywhere. He's actually working out in Cabo. I do wonder what Micah thinks about being a leader in that it seemed like he had problems with the way Demarcus Lawrence was a leader. Right. And will he take some of that on and say I want to do things differently and I do believe this or that I don't know and Well, how important is any of that stuff but Feels like it should be I mean dude. I don't know how you could not say it is

Just look at the last couple years of cowboy football They got curb stomped in the playoffs at the end of the year three years in a row and the Packers one is just embarrassing And then afterward the Marcus Lawrence is out saying, I don't know, I don't think we were prepared, we were tired, we were worn out. Now Mike is talking shit about that behind his back, like that off season, like hey, some people are saying they were tired, not me.

That's not good. It's just not. That's not the sort of thing that good teams have going on. That doesn't mean you're not gonna sign Randy Moss if you're the Patriots, but it means you're not gonna sign Randy Moss if you're the Patriots, but it means you're not gonna hear about him being a problem. The Chiefs have all manner of criminals on their team

throughout the years. You know, but they just, they handle these things. And when Tyreek Hill became a problem, they said, we're not really interested in paying you 30 million a year then. Right, that would have been like, if the Cowboys had just let Zeke what we said at the time. Hold out. Yeah. It's two years till your contract runs out. Yeah. I don't think you're going to sit out and not take paychecks all year like Leveon Bell.

Sorry Blake. That ruined his fantasy season. Yeah you're right though it will be. The Cowboys aren't that. And that brings me to another Cowboy thought I was having over the weekend. Just because when you talk about, you know, the last two goats that we refer to Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes, because you just keep looking at quarterbacks who keep resetting the market. Hell, Trevor Lawrence reset the market, then Jordan Love, and then Burrow. You could argue Burrow kind of deserves it more than those other guys for sure. But hell, it even happened back in the day when Andy Dalton was given a probably top of market at the time, you know, contractor. Yeah, Ryan Tannehill got like $100 million once.

The two guys who didn't set the market were the greatest of all time guys. Tom Brady famously took less, I don't care what his wife makes, he took less than he could have made on the open market. And they said that Patrick Mahomes contract when he signed it too, like, oh man, this is actually a pretty team friendly thing. Like as far as guaranteed money and all that kind of stuff. So those are two guys though that also had real confidence

in their teams and their front offices that they know what the hell they're doing and that they will spend the money or make the trades or do the right things to put pieces around me to remain a good team and competitive and keep me on my feet. Whereas I don't think DAC, I know DAC, thinks this is a clown show and that

they're going to get every last cent that they can out of the Cowboys. And I don't know, I mean just their recent history would indicate to Micah that this is going to be a long drawn out thing. It will take, but you will end up at the very top of the market. Sure. Once it's over. So go ahead and go through all of that, but it's going to be a thing. You're going to have to negotiate in the media. We're going to hear about the pie. Love the pie. We're gonna hear about you know Micah himself you know Stephen is gonna say Micah himself said that he realizes that we can't pay a certain amount like they're gonna do this whole thing and this is very likely going to drag into training camp. It'll be interesting to

see if he would hold out of training camp. I think he will. I think by the next couple months he will. Because he's really going to great lengths to be leader man and to indicate that I'm different. That I realize that we have to be here and I realize that there's the pie is only so big big so he said that publicly Whereas agent is feeding information to Calvin Watkins and probably whoever else will listen that Dude this second Micah started saying stuff like this. We knew it was gonna be a mess The second oh, maybe my agent's gonna be mad at me

The second that started he wants to be the highest paid player. He wants to be on a good team he wants to happen on his timeline. I don't know I get it he's got him over a barrel. I'm not talking about the end of a career well maybe I am I just want to know do you really think Micah is gonna be an Eagle someday? Why would you ask me that? Why that just put you in a bad mood? I mean, it's just you've said it before no lot. No, I Think we talked about the Chiefs. He wants to be no December 5th Jake says he'll cut off his balls on a YouTube stream if Micah goes to the Eagles. Yeah Yeah, no, he's not He's not going to play 20 years as a cowboy, but no.

No, I don't even know why you would bring that up. Because he loves the Eagles. Luca had a great game over the weekend. We're only a week and a half away from him being in town. Tech lost, lost a lot of money. You know, wouldn't it be funny if your favorite athlete played for the team you hate the most? Also, Cowboys fan, condolences. Alright, well, let's talk about Luca's great game.

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You think that all went well, I think it went stunning Okay, what are you munching on over there about some some pistachios yeah See What are you munching on over there about some some pistachios? Yeah? See I'm just waiting for the he's gonna try to tell us that he's that he's eating Jacksauce over here on the week. He's overheating pistachios. I'm just waiting for the meat stick later Pistachios seems hearty. I know isn't it pistachios I Like pistachios and Jake's a little more culture than Oh, I thought you meant just the concept of eating them. No, the way you're saying it. It's twofold, yeah. Yeah.

It's pistachio? It's not pistachio. No. All right, whatever. Whatever. Whatever you want to do. So what's the deal? Me just confirming whether or not you all are right or not.

But I'm probably not up, so. There you go. It's your own demise. Go ahead. Okay. I just had to confirm it. I had to do my own research. I was not going to follow up. I just, I don't have to be right all the time, but apparently... He's such an AI stan now. Like, let me just ask AI about it. You are. I am. I mean, my update for you is that I watched almost all of both

the Lakers and the Mavericks games Saturday night. Oh, really? Yeah, which is an interesting watch. You're still watching the maps, huh? Yeah, I mean, I'm fascinated. Look, if they're going to try, then as a basketball fan, I'm gonna keep up with their games. They're gonna try.

Anthony Davis played 30 minutes the other night. They're playing him more. Gafford and Lively have both been upgraded to probable. So Durant's out for the season. I don't know, but he... I love Derek Lively, too. Durant's out for the season. I don't know but he... I love Derek Lively too. Durant's injury looked bad. I'm just sad all these guys are caught in the crosshairs. What happened to Katie? He sprained his ankle last night and it was

in the second quarter but they were in the process of getting beat by 40 by Houston. So you look at them, Dallas is 2-up on Phoenix right now, they're half up on Sacramento, they can't get higher than the 9th seed. But if they end up the 9th seed, I could absolutely see them in one game beating the Timberwolves or the Clippers. And I want to see what happens because nobody else is playing two guys that big. Well, almost no one. The Cavs are a few teams. But just from an interesting basketball standpoint, seeing Anthony Davis and Lively out there together, I was talking to our buddy David Ruff about this this morning.

Because he's like my lone guy who still really wants the Mavs to do well. He's in the group chat all the time, like, hey, Max Christie. And I don't think I am bothered by that, because while I want the Mavs to lose, I don't get joy out of like AD not playing. I just want Niko to eventually get fired and them to sell the team.

But in the short term, if seeing AD and Lively and Gafford out there with PJ and Spencer Denwood, he makes people happy, then so be it. Fine. After Kyrie, I just have the most indifference. Dave was like, dude, if they come back and it looks clear that they could have been a good team towards the end of the season and at least had a little fun,

you're just going to be thinking about Kyrie. Like, oh, well, this is all pretty pointless once he went down one way or the other. Well, and you have to remember, the Kyrie injury, even though they've bristled at it, is possibly. He was being worked. He was being overworked. A guy his age with his injury history

does not need to be shouldering the load that Luca was shouldering. I wish we would have played the kid audio because he said well playing him 40 minutes a night was not an issue he stepped on an ankle. Yeah that's a tricky thing because it is but also the more minutes you play the more chances you are to step on something. But even like, is it Josh Young? But here's also why you don't trade Luca, because Kyrie is old. Right.

You already knew he was going to be in and out of the lineup at times. That's why you needed Luca. But the point is that the West is a mess after Oklahoma City and maybe Houston and Denver. But the Lakers are at four. The Grizzlies just fired their coach. They're at five.

They're a mess. I would like to see the Mavs make it, because that's worse for the Niko and the Mavs overall. So I want them to make the playoffs. And I'd love to see them actually have to play the Lakers. That's worse for them because of the traffic? Yeah. I also think it's pretty embarrassing

if they activate Anthony Davis and don't get to the playoffs Sure, but right now I think they're probably gonna play it. It's all fun because I'm not really paying attention It's arm length. It's still sad for me. I can't Again, a lot of good guys are caught in the crosshairs here. Not my fault. Sorry about that I'm I'm with you And then but yeah, the Grizzlies think the Lakers winning it all this year would be the greatest my fault. Sorry about that. I'm with you. And then, yeah, the Grizzlies thing is interesting. The Lakers winning it all this year would be the greatest.

Yeah, and they beat the Grizzlies on Saturday night, who fired their coach, despite the fact that they won like 25 games last year, and they've won 44 this year. So wait, you can make a determination that not just winning matters? OK. In a normal year, this would have been a big story. So wait, you can make a determination that not just winning matters? Okay. In a normal year, this would have been a big story.

But you know, they're up to 40, they're going to win 50 games this year. Who's the coach? Taylor Jenkins. Funny looking guy. Not funny looking, but funny looking for a coach. He looks like one of our listeners. He looks like an offensive line coach. Yeah.

You know what I mean? He looks like he's, yeah, you get it. He might come work on your HVAC. Yeah, I was just thinking that. So they've been hurt a lot this year and they've still gotten much better, but then I read an article about it and it's one of those, hey, they're 33 and nine

against teams under 500, but 11 and whatever, against over 500. They've blown all these games. And the key thing is, they hired an assistant before the year who is credited with revamping the offense. So they had a guy, you know what I mean? Like as soon as they fired. But he was the longest tenured coach. I believe without a finals appearance Wasn't there a lot of infighting did I see that too? It's the Grizzlies

it seems like it's always happy, okay, but the other thing too is they weren't really playing Edie and Edie ate the Lakers alive the other night So I'm not saying there's a scenario where the Lakers and Mavericks play the other night. So I'm not saying there's a scenario where the Lakers and Mavericks play in a series or something, but a healthy version of the Mavs could give that team a problem. The Grizzlies?

No, the Lakers, because they don't have anybody inside to defend somebody like Zach Eadie. OK, you mean the Grizzlies would get the Lakers a total. The Mavs. The Mavs are so big that they have lively gaffer. They're like the antidote to what the Lakers are doing, which is basically playing with no big. Sometimes Jackson Hayes.

Right, but it's just like when the Mavs didn't really have any big presence. They had Luca. But I got Luca, so there's a chance still. Remember, Dwight Powell used to be the number one center on the Mavs. I know. And that team went to the Western Conference Finals.

Yeah, and it's funny to watch too now, because Austin Reeves is so much better now that Luke is on the team, now that he's not being asked to be. Dude, that's another thing that pisses you off though. Yeah. How did the Mavs not get everything that the Lakers had to offer?

Because you could sell that to about to every team. Like, all right, yes, I'm stripping everything away, but you're gonna have this guy, you get to build around him. Yeah, the fans would have been fine. You know how fun that is? Fans, the Lakers fans would have been fine, sure. If you give Connect two picks.

The Mavs fans still wouldn't have been fine, because overall, but yes, had you gotten every pick they had, yes, Connect, Austin Reeves, and- Two firsts. You gotta have two firsts. You got to have every... you got to have whatever the definition of every first they have available. Right. It can't be, oh they got three out of the five they had a bit. You need all five because we have Luke... Luca here and you're gonna be able to build

around them. Look, we did. We did the last couple years. It's real easy to do. That's what DuBont didn't know. It's easy to find pieces to fit around that superstar. Colby. Colby. All right, so we're going to have Jared in about 10 minutes or so. We'll take a break before that,

but that means we have time to work in a little bad beats. Because you called for the ball on that one and you're in a hurry it'll be brought to us by Lucy today correct? Yeah Lucy big fan personally they're great anytime perhaps after said no I mean it's up to you Lucy.co slash dumb zone this is my preferred nicotine pouch great for youth soccer really great 100% pure nicotine always tobacco free so you don't spit with these right you do not nobody knows see that's awesome Mother-in-law is like looking at father of the year meanwhile double lipped up with two eight milligram apple ices feeling chill as all get out They're nice. They taste good. they got a little flavor breaker in them. Midday slump, pop yourself a little Lucy.

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I have- And- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Okay, so the problem here is I'm not positive my organization is great because I think some of these I may have done before, but this one is an all-timer stop me if we did it already did we do the

one about the Bluetooth speaker no okay from anonymous which is becoming very common as the frequency of these emails increases my wife and I both work from home and she doesn't belong to a book club or have friends inviting her to happy hours, so my alone time is very limited My wife had a hair appointment one day the front door is barely shut and I log into the hub from my phone The video I click on immediately goes to an ad of a woman obviously enjoying herself. I Have the sound down, but I'm assuming she's making some more some noise. After about five seconds of the ad I clicked the skip button and on to my selection. I go to turn the volume up a bit and it's not

working. There's not a bar indicating my volume level. Then I realized I'm connected to a Bluetooth speaker somewhere. But where? I immediately stop the video and flip over to my Bluetooth settings and see that I'm connected to my wife's car. I immediately disconnect but it was too late. Oh no. I get a text from my wife who is still parked in the driveway because she had been texting her mother quote

That was weird. I said, what's that? She said the radio just played what sounded like someone having sex Really? That is weird And we never discussed it again Yeah, dude That is weird. And we never discussed it again. Oh, man. Yeah, dude. I get afraid of Bluetooth. Oh, yeah.

So phone porn, huh? Oh, yeah. See, that's a weird thing is Dan has always said that phone porn is weird. And I agree with him, but he's in the minority. Because guys will hit us up and be like, hey hey I have a VPN you can use if you want to you know porno or whatever and they'll tell me about it and it's only for a phone yeah no I'm thinking more and more dudes are running the bathroom or

whatever just with their phone and it's uh yeah I can see it they're little kids you got stuff going on. Let's work this in here. All I got here is the phone. Not everybody has themselves a den. Right. Above their garage or a lock on the inside of that den. Basically a perfectly crafted...

Porn room. I mean, it's not necessarily home of Jack sauce. Yeah. This one comes to us from name redacted. If we're still doing bad beats. I was 19 years old when both of my lungs collapsed and resulted in a somewhat extended stay in the hospital. I am fine.

Now as a 19 year old quote, getting the evil out, as Jake calls it, was a task that came to hand at least once daily if not more. I stayed clean for the first couple of days of my hospitalization but eventually I gave in to the desires of the flesh. No smartphones in this era, no analog material, just memory bank spank. So there I was hooked up to all my wires and tubes and bells and whistles getting a good hog crank in with two partially collapsed lungs, but I ended up setting off the heart monitor which alerted the nurses and very quickly I had two uninvited visitors barging in to make sure I wasn't flatlining. He says the moral is don't do it while hooked up to a heart monitor. Yeah. That's interesting.

Now I'm gonna give you one more. Maybe that would be something you'd wanna do just as an experiment. You know, you're a, you have a heart rate thing? Yeah, remember that's how, I think she might have said it ended up being a joke, but that was Jane Slater's viral tweet

that her boyfriend, they had she might have said it ended up being a joke, but that was Jane Slater's viral tweet that her boyfriend, they had a linked Fitbit account, and all of a sudden he was at 3 a.m. at 150 heart rate or something. Do you have an ender? Because I have one too. I absolutely have an ender. Okay, let me do this one.

Howdy Blake, I used to be in the Army, and one time I was volunteered to go to a three month training program in Germany To prepare for an upcoming deployment overseas in this training It was almost like a practice war exercise where all these military units deployed basically no phone no internet They wanted to simulate war but he says here except for the part where they had a bunch of porta-johns Outside of the camp in case people had to go. Obviously there would be all kinds of markings

inside of them, quotes, tic-tac-toe, that stupid S thing everyone drew in high school or whatever. Put some respect on the Stoocie S's name. But there was one Port-A-John that someone with artistic skill had drawn some version of an anime chick with a gun and big tits. It's so, so military.

The drawing was pretty good, but still pretty cartoonish. But one day in our meetings, we started to say how, with each passing day, she got hotter and hotter. Then we started to notice that these toilets were always the one guys were using. Sometimes there was even a line outside. Then people literally began writing suggestions on the walls. Great job, can you draw an Asian with a big ass or something?

The best part of the whole thing was no one really wanted to know who did it. We were all just grateful to have it. You definitely do not want to know for a number of different reasons. It's just weird thinking about your buddy and sex in general. But also there's a decent chance that guy may have to save your life So the guy who's got your back with a sniper rifle You don't want to think about him drawing Lois Griffin with huge tits and like artistically You don't want to know who's requesting what either no No, cuz I told you it was a bad bit when I would buy that porn subscription for my buddy.

Yeah. Because his wife would see his credit card bill, so I paid for it, but then he would let me share the password obviously because it was on my credit card. But I would see his last movies watched and he liked black ladies with big rear ends and such and he liked black dudes on smaller white ladies too. I just knew this guy loved interracial porn and then that's to this day, the first thing I think about when I see him

but he doesn't know that. Yeah, that's a tough spot to be in. You just don't want to know your buddy's proclivities. Like I just imagine the worst things actually for you guys. Yeah, that's good. All right, here's our ender. This is insane. We'll go no name.

Good call. When I was 12, my sister who was 14 was on a traveling softball team. Three months or so a year I spent every weekend somewhere in the state at her tournaments. In June of 89 they had a tournament in the Arlington area. To kill time between the two games, my family and all the families went to the Parks Mall. They had a Walden Books. Remember Walden Books, folks? Sure.

I just posted up there why everyone else went around the mall. On the magazine racks, they had Penthouse and Playboys. I grabbed the Penthouse, went to the back of the store, took it out of the black cover wrapper and started looking through it. One thing led to another. I put my hand down my pants and got to work.

A minute or two later, I hear my mom's voice. There you are. I stashed the mag real quick and picked up a book on the shelf to play it off. My mom scoped the situation, grabbed the magazine, looked at me, said, let's go. She turned around, held the magazine above her head and said to everyone around at Walden Books,

this is what my son looks at, this filth. And to me, do you want to buy it? Come on, we'll buy it. I went to the register, put it down, and she said my son wants to buy this to the very cute and embarrassed cashier. She took out the cash, put it in the bag, and said we will talk about this when we get home. He includes the penthouse here, which includes a profile of Yasser Arafat. 1989. That evening, the whole team and traveling party went to the spaghetti warehouse on Matlock.

Just as the food came out, she pulled the penthouse from her purse, held it up and said to all these 14 to16 year old girls at the table and their families, Did y'all see what blank got today at the mall? There were the expected gasps from the parents and girls. I bolted from the table, ran into the restroom and cried for what felt like an hour until my mom came in. I don't need to tell you how much this damaged me and fucked with my head. I Had two more years of softball tournaments with these same parents same girls most of whom I went to school with

It ruined little girl it ruined girls for me for a long time ruin Walden books ruin spaghetti warehouse And as you can see on the cover and as you can see on the cover, as you can see on the cover, even ruined Yasser Arafat for me. He said, my mom was Hamas before Hamas was cool. Damn. And I told you guys, I only reply to about one out of every 20 bad beats, and this one I replied my god

Poor guy. Can we send a calendar or something? I'd be worried about what he'd do with it. We'll whack off King. Don't don't pile on little horny All right, I'm sorry, dude You're listening to The Dumb Zone. This is the part we can plug our trip again. Friday for the Final Four at the Rose of San Antonio. Lone Star Beer is sending us down there. Did you know you can get a kickass Lone Star Beer hat like I'm wearing at LoneStarBeer.com? Look how cool my shirt is.

Can you see that? Little cowboy on the back. Yeah, that's solid. Oh, you got a Lone Star Beer shirt. Yeah, of course. We have, what is the, is it just dumb zone promo code and you get 21% off dumb zone 21 Oh dumb zone 21 that lone star beer dot-com okay so yeah lone star beer great of them to send us down to San Antonio to watch hoops

really fired up about the final four. All the participants. You finished... I was just happy that teams were really playing hard throughout the tournament. That's what I really cared about. Did Blake do a scenario bracket? How am I in this scenario? I know that I still have Auburn. You are currently 140th. I'm like 230th out of 358. So you are ahead. That's all that matters I thought I was doing pretty good as long as I'm beating

Jake That's a good beat Yeah, cuz we do bad beats We're gonna do would this be the first Official Jared Sandler show? I think it's got to be. Yeah. This will be brought to us by Ownwell.

Is that cool, Jared? We're going to sponsor you by Ownwell today. You ever heard of them? Seems like they save money. Well, there you go. And given my, given my background background religiously that seems pretty appropriate. Yikes! Ownwell.com slash the dumb zone. He's allowed to say that. He is. He is. That is how you can save money on your property taxes. I say it, I'm a big asshole. And all of a sudden Jared

walks in here with like the Kool-Aid man. Did you see, take a look at the copy on the run sheet? I did, yeah, there was a listener. Somebody had tweeted us that, hey, Ownwell is pretty kick ass. It's a record or anything, but I got to tell you. And don't know what that is, but that, so yeah, he sent like a little note that Ownwell, so I guess you just sign up. What did you say, Blake? You sign up what did you say Blake you sign up

for own well and they'll keep checking your bills like and so like out of nowhere this guy got a email from own well that said hey we're able to get you $25 off your next bill for your AT&T cell phone bill yeah look check out this little portal. Tax protest, exemption, insurance, internet bill, electric bill, mortgage and equity. They're checking on all of these things. So you just put in your, like I have AT&T,

I said hey, I got AT&T. And then every once in a while they'll send me something like this of, hey, we just saved you 25 bucks on your bill. And I didn't have to do anything. So now they could save you tons more with property taxes and things like that. also a little here and there tons more like $1,148 per customer Wow

86 86 Percent of customers are getting a reduction and if you fall in that 14% you pay nothing so it's own well calm slash the dumb zone And they bring us our very frugal friend Jared Sandler If I fit that Unfortunately, but I know I'm supposed to given my roots, but I don't think I I don't I think I'm a failure in the eyes of many Okay, my spending habits fair. So where are you? I? Am a great American ballpark in Cincinnati which I will

just be honest right off the bat. Cincinnati not on my top five lists of cities to visit but I will tell you this ballpark is cool because there's such great baseball history in Cincinnati and the ballpark does an amazing job of celebrating it and demonstrating it. So I do enjoy that part of it, but Cincinnati as a city is just fine. Cleveland is obviously the superior of the Ohio cities. Never been to Cincinnati, but I think everyone agrees. Now, just to be clear, while he was in Cincinnati,

he was not calling Cincinnati the blank capital of the world, right? No. You're talking about me or you're talking about Mr. Brennanman? I'm talking about Mr. Brennanman, I believe you. Yeah, he was in, no, no, he was in Kansas City, was that where they were? Yeah.

Okay, I thought he was promoting their upcoming road trip. I thought it was, I thought the Reds were somehow involved here. Yeah, no, he was the Reds announcer, but yes. Yeah, yeah, no, they were involved, Jake, but they were not, yeah. Okay. They were not present here in Cincinnati.

No, it is the chili capital of the world, though. Yeah. Like Skyline Chili, what was the other one called? Yeah, what is the other one? Have you seen him out there? Like oh, he's probably done it a million times. The chili fast-food It's kind of like when you go to California and In-N-Out is so huge, but you're here Chick-fil-A is so huge Like these are Gold Star and Skyline Chili

Like there's this competing competing fast food chili places, and you order a five way. And it is a plate of spaghetti covered with chili. Not just a little salt. It's the whole thing. Smothered and covered. And then covered with the finely shredded cheese, and then onions.

And that would be what three four yeah I can't remember what the other thing it but you can order like a four way a three way whatever and it's unbelievably great can't be really healthy five way they throw in kidney beans oh is that right yeah can't put beans and chili so whatever so but it's like chili is the huge thing and for some reason isn't it weird how things get regional like that? Like how come that chili how come we don't have one down the street here? Yeah, cuz I feel like chili is a pretty big deal here Yeah, but what do you think Jared? Oh, yeah, we're here

I want you to talk. I love listening guys. Chili is popular in Cincinnati largely do okay, whatever we'll get to this later Yeah, I have my island chili for whatever it's worth Interesting you have had I have no desire to do so no he's not had it. Oh, okay. Skipping it well Yeah, they get this I'm going to steak house. Oh, that's true Well, yeah, they get this I've never heard they're going to steakhouse. Oh, that's true You guys are messing around yeah, really fast food you go to places where you simply turn over a card for more meat for you and you know you and you know Let me tell you saying that is absolutely not how this goes down second of all I just never heard like For every 10 reviews I hear about Skyline

Chili, nine of them are that it sucks. And one of them is like, I guess I'm glad I did it, but I don't know that I'm going to go back again. All right. Try Gold Star. Okay. Maybe I'll try that. That's fair. I watched a decent bit of Rangers baseball this weekend, including the pre and post game shows on on victory plus and I'm gonna tell you this about victory plus Pretty good. I was really worried about it. Yeah, like actually I heard some people saying oh, I'm getting lagging and this and that I

Thought it was great man. You can fire it up on your phone Driving to the grocery store watching Jared do a little postgame kicking ass I Appreciate Jake, I'm curious here. Like what are you? I did think of you guys I have to admit Friday or Saturday Must have been Friday because Jack Leiter started Friday our Newfield reporter Laura stickles had a conversation with Tim Corbin who is known

or Laura Stickles had a conversation with Tim Corbin who is known, people call him Corbs, and I referred to him as Corbs, and the minute I said that live, I immediately thought about you guys. I'm like, I can't, I shouldn't get away with this. I gotta acknowledge it if they don't bring it up. What's his last name? Corbs. Corbin.

Corbin, Tim Corbin. Tim Corbin, TC? Yeah, Corbs though, you just gotta, you gotta fit in. Murph, what's, forgive me for not knowing the guy who's not listed on the broadcast, is the former player that you're with? Well, so yeah, one of the things we're doing, so Elvis was with me Thursday,

I know that you're not talking about Elvis. I was with Nick Hundley on Saturday. Yeah, he's in the front office and did play, didn't play for the Rangers, but played in the big leagues. And we're gonna have various people. Sometimes I'll be solo on the desk. Sometimes I'll have people like Elvis and others throughout the year.

So it's gonna kind of be one of those. I mean, the whole idea of the show is we want you to turn it on and not have any clue what you're gonna get other than hopefully information and fun and similar to that just general theme. We want people to turn it on and not know is it going to be Elvis today. Maybe it's Adrian Beltran. Maybe it's Michael Young, Ian Kinsler, Nick Conley. You know, we'll have one excitement. Yeah. Yeah. You know,

I want people to wake up thinking about that first thing when they got their morning work I'm okay with that is it I'm okay with that as long as I know that at the heart of it all is Jared Sandler Yes, I'll let you play fast on the edges as long as I know I have an anchor there I want to see you get the scouting director in I'm sure at one point they will We will get we're gonna get various front office people and Jake you'll appreciate the numbers side which by the way I was surprised you didn't like exit velocity the ballpark just given your proclivity for data but we are going to do some analytic stuff as well to help in a very kind of step-by-step, explain why this stat is valued by evaluators around the league and

try and help be more welcoming as opposed to divisive and oh you don't know what Wobba is you're an idiot. No, no, no, we don't want to do that. Let's all kind of come together. But can I ask you this exit velocity thing like what I was surprised that you, you didn't like seeing that on the ribbon because to me, it's no different than pitch velocity, right? I mean, I'd like to know how hard the ball was hit.

And it's also like when people bitch about getting an email from someone, like, take me off the list, all you do is hit delete. Like, what's the... Yeah, it's not. People act like it's the biggest imposition. It's not a big imposition at all. It's really more just that I get frustrated by data without context.

And exit velocity is fine, because I guess I kind of know roughly what like 95 miles an hour looks like. But with pitching, that's how we've talked about pitching our whole lives, right? Like when you know, oh, Noah and Ryan got the 103, that's like a thing. Whereas exit velocity, to me, without a leaderboard

or a pre or post game show to actually explain it, it just flashing up 95.6 on the, now I know the term, the ribbon, it just doesn't really tell most people in the stands all that much. I think using it to tell, is this player actually playing well? Like a guy will have like a 300 ops

for like a three week span, but the hard hit ball, the exit velocity, the pool numbers are higher. I like it for stuff like that. I just don't think in the stadium there are that many people that get a ton out of it, but whatever. I mean the radar gun had to start somewhere. That's a good point. I think Brooks in 10 years will know absolutely,

wow, 115 exit Velo, that's huge. Because all these numbers are so new. That's very possible. I do think that you could probably, and I don't know about the tech side of it, but maybe you could, when 110 pops up on the exit Velo, it's like shaded red, which means that's really good, or if it's on the other end, maybe you can do that.

But I will say that a part of it is I mean heck on base percentage is like a pretty commonly used stat but you know there are people who and it doesn't take them long to figure it out but I don't know how you come up with on base percentage. What are all the factors and they might ask her like the reason I was curious about with you is you are someone who you see something and you dig and you dig like in a good way. And so I think there are going to be people that see exit velocity and they quickly go on their phone like what's exit velocity and it's I will say there is a lot of very accessible

data out there that is you don't have to like have a BC calculus type of experience to understand the breakdown of like what the average is and what you know this range usually produces these results and that range produces those results. So I if it leads someone down the path if they are interested in doing a little research cool, you're not going to be able to fully explain on the video board. I do understand though I think that's a good point and I'll actually ask, is there a way to have it shaded or have any type of accompanying characteristic to the presentation that will allow the average person to know good, bad, average, great, awful, et cetera?

That's all I'm asking for is just change it to my very specific whims for everyone who's watching because I made a throwaway comment about it. I wanna get your, okay, I have a lot of thoughts from the weekend But I thought we just start with a couple two three things coming out of I know it's just four games You know, it's funny. I wrote that down in my notes this morning. Like it's just four games and it occurred to me Yeah, they just decide series like that too, though Like when you start a season three and one, you know, boy team looks good. It's just four games

Are you like yeah, but if they were at the end, you'd just say, it's baseball, it's four games, sorry. You lost. Yeah. Like somebody was like, my point is just that the whole playoff system thing is funny because these four games, you're like, that means nothing. It's just four games. All right, well, what if we play 158 more of them?

Same with one NFL playoff game. You're right. Whatever. It's just I guess I'm saying I think after those four, you actually kind of can get a sense of what kind of team they are. And Boston. I think those might be the two best teams in the American League. Jared, what do you think about that?

I agree. No, obviously the Yankees with their torpedo bats, maybe they just mash their way to it. I do think Boston's the best team in the East. I think the Rangers are the best team in the West. Obviously it is not without any sort of competition by any means. We're not talking about the Dodgers

who just look head over heels better than everyone on paper and so far on the field. But I do think they're the two best teams and I think they go about it in different ways. The Red Sox actually kind of exposed one of the Rangers weaknesses which is one of their strengths Boston strengths which is the running game but they just couldn't get a hit with a runner in scoring position to save their lives so they couldn't cash in on it but yeah it was a great start especially after losing in the ninth inning on Thursday. I know Blake I hope you didn't drop Luke Jackson

as your closer I heard you make mention of that on Friday. I did. He did come. OK, well, that's OK. And it could be a revolving door. You know, it I do think the bullpen will be good. And they certainly were good over the three wins. But there might be some shifting in roles and whatnot. But yeah, you know, the Rangers won these games.

They didn't really hit the ball all over the place. You know, they didn't strike out a lot. They put the ball in play and benefited from that. But really it was about pitching and defense. And that was that's another thing that I just don't think got talked about a lot last year with Adolis Garcia, who had a great series, but he was awful defensively. And this is a gold glove right fielder. He was awful awful because you know, he clearly was not physically right he couldn't move But I just thought in general defensively the team played really well and and you know when you're winning games four to three and three To two the margins matter and defense is a big part of that. I thought kind of the story of the series was obviously de Grom Yesterday, but boy, I really loved watching Jack Leiter pitch Friday, I enjoyed your post game with him.

He seems awesome, and if those two can pitch like that, it's gonna be a great start to the staff. But my question is, everyone is making like the Leiter-Rocker thing, because you know, those could be the chance for the first two big name homegrown pitchers that the Rangers have had in a really long time. And I think the broadcast highlighted, you know,

they're buddies from Vandy, but I'm just curious you being around them, you know, are they buddies, Vandy, but I'm just curious, you being around them, you know, are they buddies, or did they just play on the same college baseball team? You know, what's it like for those young ones? Is this a Kershaw-Stappard situation? No, I'm just, I'm trying to like, identify with this team,

because Seager and Simeon are robots. I want some people with some personalities. And if those two guys are buddies, that would make me feel better about it. No, they are. I think their time at Vandy was so interesting because one year was wrecked by the pandemic and the next year they both were draft eligible.

There was a lot of pressure. And I think people were trying to pit one against the other, but no, they are good buddies and they hang out. Kamar lives in Southern California in the offseason or trains their Jacks in Nashville but Kimar does go to Nashville they spend a lot of time together then and yeah they spend a lot of time together here so that's not a it's not a manufactured friendship it's not a forced friendship they definitely are close. Jack actually even said that when he was in high school he looked up to

Kimar Rocker. Kimar was only a year older, but Jack was, you know, just a, I say just a kid, but he was, you know, a senior in high school and Kamar Rocker was a freshman dominating college baseball, Vandy throwing a no hitter. And Jack, like, you know, talked about how he, one of the reasons he wanted to go to Vandy was, you know, because he was so fascinated and intrigued by this guy, Kamar Rocker. And so it is a, it is a cool friendship. And I think it's really neat. You don't get two of the best pitchers

in the same rotation ending up on the same team right away, same organization right away, because when they're as good as those two were in college, they get drafted in the first round by different teams. So it was a unique situation that led to Kamar being with the Rangers. And yeah, I thought that was a big step for Jack. The thing that, the quick thing, the little nug nugget the breadcrumb that I'll throw out there

with him that that stood out is he was able to have success with his fastball in the zone getting swings and misses and it wasn't just as foreseen it was his sinker as well which gives him an option at the bottom part of the zone with the fastball I thought that was really impressive and we'll see with Kamar Rocker you know how he does in his first start if the Rangers stayed healthy even let's just say it's a one of their their two injured starters Greer Bradford did not get hurt Kamar Rocker is probably starting in triple-a so he's got that door open because of that I think it was more though just an

innings management thing so I'm curious how they they use him over the course of this first month. But it'll be a good opportunity for him to build on what he accomplished last year. I think he still has a little more work to do, but we'll certainly find out with chapter one of his season tonight. With the injury, I'm surprised Dunning got let go,

or just put on the waiver wire. I thought he was a really good spot starter the last two years. What was the deal with him? Yeah, I think it's a money thing, personal. Actually, that's not fair. He didn't pitch well last year. He got off to a great start.

Shoulder issue, recurring shoulder issue. Numbers don't look good. Didn't have a very good camp. And it's not just about the ERA and camp, although that wasn't very good. But it's some of the things that you can see that can actually translate into the regular season it's some of the things that you can see that can actually translate into the regular season that's independent of whether you're facing number 79 who's just

coming in for the seventh inning or a bona fide everyday player at the big league level. The velocity, the movement, it just didn't look great and I think that being the case and where the Rangers are financially wanting to stay below the luxury tax threshold so that they don't exceed it for a third straight year and incur those penalties they were hoping by putting Dane on waiver someone will claim them and thus take in around two and a half million dollars of salary that didn't happen. So the Rangers because of Dane's level of service time he had the ability to reject a minor league assignment however if he does he forgoes the two and a half million dollars so he accepted the minor league assignment

he's not on the 40-man roster he is still getting that salary but that that's really what it was you know from a competitive standpoint they didn't feel like he was one of the 13 best and from a you know from a financial standpoint there was a little bit of strategy involved there as well. What's the seating chart on the plane? Where do you sit? I mean, just take some Jared stuff here. Yeah.

So I'm a big aisle guy. Now I'll tell you, we are very fortunate. It doesn't matter if you're aisle or window. You've got plenty of space. I sit in front of Eric and Matt. I sit across from Bacic and Dave. And I sit next to Laura Stickels, our field reporter. Hey now. And I'm, yeah, and I'm a big, there you go. I like to, we have the setup where the seat pocket in

front can, I can put my iPad there, so I'm watching Court of Gold right now, and then I'll do a little work while I'm also on the plane. So it's a nice way to kill two birds with one stone. Okay, before I saw that blurry figure behind you, I assumed you were in your hotel room. No, no, I'm at the ballpark. You're at the stadium already. Yeah, I'm at the ballpark.

I don't know how to, that was Matt Hicks, the blurry figure, right? Oh, there's Matt Hicks right there. I didn't realize until I heard you say it yesterday that Matt Hicks was in Major League Two. Matt Hicks was in Major League Two, yeah. Yesterday was the 31 year anniversary of the release. Do you know I was in Major League One?

Were you really, in the crowd? No, he was Serrano. Yeah, sorry, you're right. I thought it was Takatunaka. Yeah, I was a kid when they said they're filming a movie and the Indians are going to be the main thing. I'm there yesterday. And it's going to be whatever day, June 15th.

And so they're going to be whatever day, June 15th, and so they're gonna be taking crowd shots. And so yeah, they sold 70,000 seats for that game because it was at the old Cleveland Stadium where the Browns would play. And it's huge, it was huge. Yeah, and I'm in the crowd and I am on IMDB. It has me listed as a. Are you really? Oh yeah. Because I the crowd and I am on IMDB. It has me listed as a. Are you really?

Oh yeah. Cause I don't think Matt's on IMDB. We actually had someone text. He's not as awesome as me. A tweet earlier. Well, yeah, I mean, we knew that. But someone said that Eric Hicks, they had no clue Matt's name, I guess.

They said Eric Hicks is not on IMDB. So maybe they just looked up the wrong name Are you on IMDB? That's a good story. He's not on IMDB. Okay. Thanks Dan. I was We're just having fun I was gonna say where you are. It looks like you could use your makeup lady to Be in your hotel room, but you're, it just, you look very white today, very bright. And I know you now have a makeup lady, right? I think he looks great.

I just thought the light is very, very big. Very bright. I'm just playing around. You have a makeup lady is the point. Yes. Not by choice, although I appreciate it. Renee, you've seen her sitting next to Falwell on Mavs games. But yeah, she just like one day came up and she like stands still or holds still and she like takes this brush and starts powdering my face.

And I guess, you know, when you do that on the field then people take pictures and it's also lots of fun get a lot of it got a lot of even the video room the rain some of the Rangers coaches in the video room saw that and thank gosh there's not kangaroo court I think I'd be paying a lot of money for that if there was but they don't do that anymore which kind of stinks what's the deal with the oh they don't do the kangaroo court? Baseball teams, though? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. I mean, I can't speak for every team.

I don't think we've done it since Beltray retired. What is this, what is the base running challenge thing you're gonna do with Dave Raymond? What is this bit? Well, I've been subject of some short jokes here standing next to partners who are much taller than I am, including Elvis, who I get, Basick, Nick Hunley, and Dave made a joke about, I'm sure that would be competitive as well.

Dave made a joke about how I fit right in with the kids who were standing five yards from me getting ready to run the bases and At some point listen, I I know I'm I'm short right it doesn't the short jokes don't bother me But at some point, oh no, not at all. I'm not mad at all. No, no, you're mad No, I'm actively I'm actively hunting for a seven foot Swiss Alps Female Center to provide us with an egg to offset. I never said that I didn't want my kids to be taller.

I just said that I'm so used to the short jokes. Sure. And and so, you know, there's really not a lot on Dave that I can say that would be appropriate for air. And so the only thing I think of is, you know, he's older than I am. And, you know, but he's a former track athlete at Stanford. But I do, I do think that I could beat him around the bases. He's, he's old. We need to, you know, he's borderline like wheelchair status. So I think I got a good shot.

Are we actually going to do this? I televised. Yes. This is part of the new pregame show, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think do it live. Exactly. So how will they do it? Will they time it because you can't both be on the paths, right? Yeah. Yeah. We're having fun. Do it live. Exactly. So how will they do it? Will they time it? Because you can't both be on the paths, right? It can't be a true race. It would be funny though if it was like a roller derby and we could like knock each other off and throw elbows and stuff. Yeah, why not the freeze? Do the freeze. That was going to say that might be your best, although it's not as dynamic. Running the bases is unstable. I think most people who don't play softball or baseball on a regular basis would be like,

oh, I'm just gonna run from home to first and so on. I'm gonna try and hit the inside of the first base bag with the right side of my right foot or whatever, yeah. No, you would smoke him. Trip. Dave won't make it around on his feet. I don't know. No. Dave is an athlete.

He's in pretty good shape, though. Yeah. I'm gonna ride with my generation on this one. Okay. Well, I've got two more things for Jared. First, you brought up torpedo bats. I wanna get your thoughts on it, because it seems kind of sports science,

but then also sort of maybe not against the rules, even though it's not, but the Yankees are sure making them look good. Yeah, so I also just start with this. Other teams have players who use or have tried similar models, right? So it's not like the Yankees are the only team with players who have used it.

They definitely are the most prolific in terms of, you know, Aaron Lenhart, who's kind of the guy who's getting credited for developing this. He was with the Yankees now with the Marlins. There are more Yankees probably than any other team. I actually plan on asking a bunch of our guys today, you know, whether they use it. I don't believe any of them do. So it's not it's not like just incredibly prevalent, but it's not the first time that

a player's used it. With all that said, it's surprising to me that it's taken this long for baseball to have something like this. I mean, the simplest comparison I can make is, and I don't really play golf, but I know that you get, Blake, have you gotten a club fitting, right?

Like I know that's a big thing, even for amateur golfers. Like you don't even need to be a competitive golfer and some will get a club fitting, which is intended to optimize your ability to contact the ball based on your height and your arms and just your biomechanics and whatnot. Well, this is, you know, these are guys who have the opportunity

to make millions and millions and millions of dollars. And it's surprising to me that we've always just been okay with the fact that the player has to fit to the bat as opposed to creating a bat that fits to the player in this regard. So yeah it is within the rules you know that the wood distribution does not violate any of the rules and so I wouldn't be surprised to see I don't want to be so dramatic and say this is going to take over Major League Baseball but I mean it want to be so dramatic and say, this is gonna take over majorly baseball, but I mean, it stands to reason that if I'm a hitter, I want to understand where I naturally make contact

and how to optimize that with my weapon as opposed to having to make these adjustments to fit a bat, like when the bat can maybe change a little bit easier than I can. So, I mean, I think it's really interesting. Yeah, I don't think we have to go to golf, but you know, as slow pitch softball guy, I mean, we've been using inloaded bats for a long time

because that's where you hit the ball. Don't you want the most weight in the barrel? I just assumed that the bat was the bat because they had decided that's what the bat had to be. And the first time I thought about this, Jared, was when you guys were calling a spring training game and the White Sox had an Asian guy who had like a reverse weighted bat.

Where like all of the weight was down by, and I thought, I guess you can just do that. You can just change the weight distribution of the bat. As a non-baseball player, I just assumed the bat was the bat. Yeah, so there are rules about the diameter. It can't exceed a certain diameter, and it can't exceed a certain weight. But yeah, there's nothing in the rule book

about the distribution and stuff. And I think you guys even talked about there are guys who have different knobs. And that's counterbalance, counterweight, stuff like that. Evan Carter used that, I think, in 2023, stuff like that. Evan Carter used that I think in 2023 when he first came up. But yeah, I don't I mean to my knowledge there's no and I guess baseball's come out and said no this is perfectly legal. So I mean this is like the most I don't know you know in football the equipment like you know we've seen how many different iterations of helmets like over the last

10 years to protect against concussions and you know we see different you know the pads that players wear are totally different and basketball I mean you know there's really not a whole lot from an equipment standpoint but they definitely you know shoes that change based on a player's comfort it makes sense that in baseball the bat which is the most common used thing other than a glove is customized customized to the player's preferences. Yeah, I'm a big fan of that, and the Axe bat, that tried to make its way into major leagues

a couple years ago. Yeah. All right, are we doing trivia today? Yeah, you wanna kick it off? We are. So, we wanted to tell everybody, didn't we tell them before, every week, during the Jared Sandler show,

he is going to give away a pair of tickets to a Rangers game for free. You're gonna be able to go see the Texas Rangers. Where they're at- Hotest team in baseball? I saw you tweeted this. How much Fire Niko chants were there at the ballpark this weekend? Hey, surprisingly, like at first it was just like these two drunk guys beneath us

and they got like, I don't know, 40 or 50 people to do it. And then all of a sudden down the right the line I'm hearing it. And Trevor Story, who's from Irving, plays for the Red Sox, he's a huge Mavs fan. So whenever he comes to town, we talk Mavs. He was kind of like, he's in the same boat as all of us, right? He's like so confused and upset and disappointed, but he heard it as well. So yeah, it definitely, I don't want to say it like totally took over the seating bowl, but there was enough momentum where there were a few waves of fire Nico chants.

So how about it? Bassick has to be beside himself. He quit the NBA though. Yeah, he quit the NBA. He just quit the NBA because of Luca. He's kind of been leaning that way. Okay, yeah. That's not gonna last, and it's kind of like me saying,

short jokes never bother me. Can you really believe that? I don't know. Like Bassick definitely is not quitting the NBA permanently. It's his favorite sport. But I think it's just his way to, to, to deal with it right now. He is, he wears, wears it on his sleeve. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Trivia. All right. So we are in Cincinnati and Ken Groofy Jr. as you guys might recall played for the Reds

after the Mariners. He is one of the 18 players in the wild card era with 40 home run seasons for multiple teams. So he did it with the Mariners. He also did it in his very first year with the Reds. Among those 18. I did not know that. There are 40.

I would have thought he was kind of at the end of his career with the Reds. I remember there being one year. One year. And it felt like all he did was hit home. I would have thought 18 home runs or something. I just thought he was really at the very tail end and he did that.

OK, go ahead. Sorry. Yeah. No, he had a few good years. That's when the injuries really became a problem, though. But of the 18. He's on my Griffey list. Go ahead.

What's the Griffey list? OK. Two of the 18, Griffey, what's the Griffey list? Okay. Two of the 18 played for the Rangers and had a 40 home run season with the Rangers. So two of the 18 players, a part of the two teams in which they hit 40 home runs for in a single season, the Rangers were a part of their combo.

So who are those two players? What do we send our answers, Blake? In the chat. in the chat? So today this might not be the case every week, but today you have to be watching live Some weeks it'll be so gas but two players So first person that answers it correctly in the chat Yep. Yeah, we'll get a pair of tickets to an upcoming Rangers game. He hit 40 plus homers for two teams and one of those two teams was the Rangers. I know one is real easy, correct?

So one should be, but I guess the clue on him is I feel like a lot of people have like just erased him from their memories as Rangers fans. So maybe it's not as easy, I don't know. Both guys, kind of. Am I way, or? Did anyone? No, I think we do it. You're talking about A-Rod? Yeah.

Okay. That's my real easy one is A-Rod. I'm trying to think, 40 home runs. Well, let's let them answer. Well, do we already have the answers in the chat? Or are we just putting it on a T for them to type it out? No, let's just do our show. Is A-Rod right?

A-Rod is correct, yeah. 40 home runs is very, you know, not as big of a deal anymore that it used to be. It used to be pretty huge. So it has to be like a- Dan, I would say it is, it's kind of gone back to that. There really are not many guys, if you go back to like the mid to late 90s compared to now Or even early to there are not as many guys who get to 40 the Rangers haven't had a guy get to 40 since

Gallo and 18 Joey Gallo well, why don't we? All right, Jared we got an early one tonight Victory plus the radio. Yeah, but hold on, I got beef. I still am waiting for, you guys have free reign for segment ideas, as you know, but also I still don't have a list.

So just I'm kind of being left at the altar here. A list of what? Terms, we don't want to play password with Jared. I've been thinking about it, but it's weird because I'm writing for him and he's like a good person. So I don't want to, you or Jared. I've been thinking about it. But it's weird because I'm writing for him and he's a good person. So I would have wrote the joke for him that he started with. But I'm like, I can't do that because.

I don't know. I'll let you know if I don't feel comfortable using it. But you can send a list and I'll work stuff in. Didn't you already blow your comedy load with your tweet earlier today about the starting pitchers for tonight's game? Wow, that is, put the guy in Branson. I love it.

The singer. Hey, what, Blake? He's a norm. He's a norm intern. Right. What you mean about the tonight's musical pitching matchup? Yeah.

Yes. It's rocker versus singer. Yeah. Yes. It's a Yes Yeah, I listen on Thursday Friday blanket Do you want me next week to just identify every single error you make when talking about the Rangers and have that as a segment? A part of this I'm more than happy to because there are a lot of things that we need to correct Did you think the Red Sox pitcher had a funny name yesterday? Did you tweet about that? Socks picture had a funny name yesterday. Did you tweet about that? Richard fits it was not tweeted about I definitely made comments asking where the dick fits. Yeah

Yeah, I didn't hear that on the broadcast though not no not oh no definitely not on air yeah Yeah, he was Richard fits on air. Mr. Richard fits the The honorable. All right, Juan, go Rangers. Who's the second one? I thought I'd, no, wait, you have plenty of answers in the chat, I want to know. Oh, OK. So we can play? Yes. Did Wando go 40 for the Tigers or no?

Did he just totally fail once he went there? Yeah, he did not. He did, so Juan did have... Oh it has to be Rafi. Yeah it's Rafi. Juan had a good year with Cleveland actually Danny had 35 homers but didn't get to 40. Nelly Cruz did it with two other teams but not the Rangers. Rafi is the answer the Orioles and the Rangers all right baseball Dan Strikes all day on the man. Did you know it Blake or no? No no I thought Nelson had a good year with the twins one year, but obviously not 40 Okay, so I'm the winner week one

You are the one we've won Blake. Yeah, the winner has to go to the game with me You are the winner of week one, Blake. Yeah, the winner has to go to the game with me. OK. Go ahead, Jared. Hey, Blake, Nelly did do it with Minnesota. So another thing you're on on. Nelly actually did it with Minnesota. All right, see you at game pass.

The more he did with Seattle. Go Rangers. Never with Texas. That's awesome. Go Kumar. Yeah. All right, we'll do it again next week. See if they'll get you a box for the pregame show.

You're... He's the same height as Blake, is he not? Yes. Oh, news today brought to us by Frankl and Frankl, our personal injury attorneys. We haven't needed them yet, but if we, you know, you kind of don't want to need them because that means you're injured, there's something wrong with you. Maybe a tree fell on you and now you're wheelchair bound.

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All right, so this is long overdue. I was doing, I'm trying to learn from the cancellation era Dan What happened to the punt God right guy got falsely accused? I'm sure we were on here or on the ticket like this guy's dirt Bag, how can you draft him? He's been accused of a gang rape. They say there's a tape Don't doubt he wasn't even there right it was completely made up and now the chiefs have it cost him a lot of money I thought he wasn't even there. Right. He was completely made up. And now the Chiefs have him.

It cost him a lot of money. The Eagles lost their punter right before the Super Bowl a few years back, wouldn't touch him. Despite the fact he was just sitting right there. So, because of that, when I see, you know, heinous allegations being thrown, especially at people in the entertainment community that means so much to the Bob Sturms

and the Blake Jones of the world. I waited. And I didn't rush to judgment. And I said, let's let the facts kind of sort themselves out here. Okay, I know what you're doing here now. Because we've given it a little time and I'm not sure that things are getting better for the impractical jokers. Well one of them right? Well actually I was gonna this was on the stack last week and it fell off. It's not one of them buddy. They got more than one of them in trouble? Yeah they do. Have you at least enjoyed the memes though? Yeah.

Just the, their behind the scenes saying, all right, now go have sex with another underage girl. Yeah, now sex to teenager. And then they laugh. Like, I was going to play Apology Bingo with one of them. I got to find it, see if I still have the info in front of me. Probably, probably Murr. I feel like Murr wrote a long apology.

Because it's Murr. Joe Gatto. Joe and Murr are both, who you've met. I've met him several times. They were in studio? Yeah. So in the case of Joe. I've used poor judgment and as a result

have violated the trust of people I love most. It's a TikTok user said he sexually assaulted her when she was 19. He said, so poor judgment, but anyone who knows me, that's middle square. Anyone who knows me at all, knows full well that I wouldn't assault anyone. Well, what's weird about it, Joe,

is I knew you pretty well. He was just joking. I knew you, it was a bit impractical, Joseph. I knew you pretty well a bit impractical Joseph. I knew you pretty well and I didn't think you would be sending $35 Venmo's to 16 year old girls to make out with each other on tik-tok either and you did that ouch Wow Working on myself is an ongoing process But he can afford more than 35 the funniest part is the the teens in the video that said that he had

They did like a 10-minute video where they say that he encouraged him to kiss asked him to lift their shirts and stroked their stomachs They alleged he met you to them in Instagram's vanish mode and They also showed a screenshot of a Venmo $35 from Joe G that says gas and Chipotle I'm gonna Venmo $35 from Joe G that says gas and Chipotle. You didn't even have to put anything, do you? Maybe, I don't know, but 35 bucks. Just in case someone sees my thing. Yeah.

I've used poor judgment, or wait, no. Where was I? Oh, working on myself is an ongoing process. Yes. And I'm now going to take some time away from the public eye to focus my energies where I need to. Yeah. Yeah, she put out like DM, you know, DM screenshots.

Screenshots. Yeah. Yeah, that's tough. So that's Joe. There's another one in trouble? Yeah, a couple days after that, when it rains it pours pedophilia because James, one of the other stars of Impractical Jokers, he got a Reddit user accused him of exchanging inappropriate messages with her when she was 16. He was 35 at the time. Oh shit, I just forgot about a great thing from Weekend Check.

I will get to it in a minute because it pertains to this. In one message, Murr wrote, "'Haha, you're awesome. "'Once you turn 18, email me the same question "'and I'll be happy to answer.' "'When the girl teased him about staying single "'until she came of age, he replied, "'I'll do my best, I promise.'"

The user who identified herself as Melissa claimed the two also exchanged messages about explicit topics including dildos. And even said I love you to each other. That's nice. So. You know, sometimes it's difficult for men to say I love you. You should just give them credit for that. Scenes from the sauna this weekend. You heard the word dildo and something triggered in your head? Ironically there were two things I heard.

Wait until she's 18 to get married and the impractical jokers. Because if you guys recall the last time I did sauna talk it was just a guy sitting in the sauna watching impractical jokers on because if you guys recall, the last time I did sauna talk, it was just a guy sitting in the sauna watching impractical jokers on his phone at max volume. I go in there this weekend, it is 7.06 on Saturday morning, that place opens at seven. Let me tell you who's there at seven, at 6.55 waiting outside like they're buying tickets at a Foley's in 1998, seniors.

waiting outside like they're buying tickets at a Foley's in 1998, seniors. And let me tell you what else those people do is they talk. So when I get to the sauna five minutes after they open, there's already three people in there. They're all old and they're all talking. There's an older lady and an older guy talking and the older lady, her husband is involved in some sort of men's group that takes missionary trips to Belize. There's like a camp down there, possibly even an orphanage.

And her husband works with this organization. Then they started talking about another organization that her husband is interested in, which is like a local youth sports thing that involves the church and that is run by a woman that I gathered was in about her 30s maybe 20s that they were speaking about now the male counterpart of this situation again he's probably 60s he's like oh yeah I've met her the one running the sports program at the church she. I've known her since she was a little kid. I've been friends with her daddy. She's just the sweetest kid. I've known her since she was a little kid.

I used to tell her when she was a little girl that I'd wait to get married until she turned 18. She was so sweet. I'm like, bro, you're talking in public out loud right now. Certainly creepy. You don't admit to a Grove or a Cleveland plan in public to a, we're in a sauna. And the funniest part is they were talking about church. He's like, yeah, I'd love to go on that mission trip with your husband.

Also, I know the girl who runs a sports thing. I've wanted to fuck her since she was four. Like who would just say that out loud? I would be so embarrassed to tell somebody yeah I had my eyes on you in kindergarten. I mean is that just a generational weird thing? The lady didn't even flinch! Can it be and it's just a way of giving a compliment that you are like like saying to I'll bet all the boys are gonna be going crazy once... Don't say that. Don't even say that to a four-year-old?

No. Don't say it to a 13-year-old. It is basically saying you're hot. Yeah. I can tell you're hot right now, is that you're eight. Oh, god. And you're going to be driving the boys crazy. But you've heard that, right?

Perhaps you think it. You might even think about your own kid. This kid's attractive. This is going to be a problem. You don't, in public, say, you know what I was thinking about 25 years ago, that six year old. Yeah. I was just, it was bizarre to me

that I was actually listening to this in person. But in the case of me. Well that's where you should have piped in and been like, bro, 16 in Texas. Ha ha ha ha. Then give him a little high five. Yeah, somebody always does need to be that guy. Probably should have shut it down there, but that's only one news story.

But anyways, it appears they're falling apart. They're both taking time away from it, practically joking. Word is, they may have to bump Anthony Davis up to the A-team and have him be a... You didn't say they had the... Him and Jared Vanderbilt just have to be the full time practical jokers.

You didn't say they took episodes down. Yeah, so Max, this hurts. Max has apparently pulled some episodes. Now they only have like four million episodes to replay? Yeah, right. Apparently they're taking episodes down where Joe's in a speedo Which yeah, how many episodes have they done? Oh my god like it's literally a thousand isn't it? I mean, they're always on you can't stop gold. You know that listen to what it says here to Dan's point

episodes 9 and 24 from the fourth season 12 and 7 12 from the 7 and 16 and 25 from season eight were all pulled. Are we talking about 500 episodes? 261. Good grief. Some of the episodes, as Blake said, show the speedo, some just show the jokers being inappropriate. Yeah, they're beating.

I'd rather watch every Dude Perfect over and over and over and over. Dude. And this is, you're trying to tell me Dude Perfect is better than Impractical Jokers? So much better. No, listen. This is bad, dude.

This is, yeah, I tell you what this is. This is like when you, in my space, when you're like, I'm gonna quit drinking, and you're like, and I'm gonna quit when you're like I'm gonna quit drinking and you're like and I'm gonna quit vaping and I'm gonna quit and somebody's like whoa Just do the one thing. Uh-huh. There's no need for you in this moment Shitting on impractical jokers there is a need to say that dude. Perfect is has any value at all You're emotional. It feels good to say And you're like, you know what? I'm gonna keep going. I'm worse than there's no need It puts a bar somewhere. You're emotional. It feels good to say everything. And you're like, you know what?

I'm going to keep going. I'm helping. They're worse than there's no need. You're getting over your skis. I'm doing great. They both suck. And the only difference right now is we only know one of them for sure has pedophiles in it.

Bite your tongue. Dude Perfect, they're on my Griffey list. I don't know man, it's been a lot of time around little boys. I think that they are genuinely good people, but you can't be shocked if they have a sex related scandal because it does tend to happen in the church a lot. I really would with those guys for some reason. They seem like good people. They actually seem great.

It's not a judgment on their content, which is dogshit, but they do seem like good people I'm just saying I met him I've watched their videos Aggies though Their Aggies they're good. They're good folk. They might have filled that jar together Yeah, and I mean whatever wouldn't put that past him, but that don't put your three of the dumb zone We need a real jar. No, we don't I have an Aggie jar to take it to remotes be like look if you want it donate to the dumb zone it's the bad beach are like there'd be no worse beat than using our Aggie jar

bro there'd be so many people who would be excited about it we could send it around like the robot people were supposed to be kind to in Philadelphia that they destroyed. Just take a picture with the jar and hand it off to a buddy. So yeah, that's the future. You'll have a robot that looks like that Lily Phillips or whatever. Was that her name? She was one of them, yeah.

Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips. One of the ladies that's taken a hundred dudes and have that robot Go across the nation and you have to Put it in the closet. Yeah. Yeah, it's like it's like kind of a blow-up doll type robot, but it's a better It's like a black mirror robot here and then that's the Aggie jar I Feel like a blow-up doll will lose structural integrity as it travels across the nation. I'm just saying, like, the aura of what a blow-up doll is for, but now with robotics

and the... Like a receptacle of sorts. But the futuristic, it has to be like Black Mirror. It's a human, basically. You think it's a human, basically. You think it's a human. But her voice is Blake's voice. Buc-Ease is in the news. You see this every so often. I honestly have no clue how trademark or copyright

law work at all. It seems that sometimes you'll hear about somebody tradem trademark something that you're like, the letter J? I thought that was kind of for everyone. And then, I don't know, you'll learn about others that you can't trademark. Ohio State with the. Yeah. Well in this case, we've got a copycat

because a local coffee and food shop in Marshfield, Mississippi, Missouri, excuse me, has been sued by Buc-ee's. The name of the coffee place is Bar-kee's. B-A-R-C and they use a dash E-E-S. And their logo, while not exactly the same, is in fact a beaver. Or maybe it's a dog, but it's something. It's a little animal, cartoon animal. Don't you feel like if you're Buc-Ease you'd just be chill about this? No. Like it's one, I don't know if it's a handful of coffee shops. It's not even like, it's not a chain. They don't sell gas. Still, they're not gonna be cool about that. I, wouldn't you think if you're the Dallas Cowboys,

you're not going to worry about TC selling a shirt with a star on it? Yet we got a cease and desist letter. Not the first one. Not the last one. Not the last one at all. No. This comes after, this is actually really funny.

In 2023, there were a couple viral videos. I guess, so there was a place in Mexico called Buck B-U-K-I-I. Like so Buc-E's, but they're using an I like an E. And that was in Matamoros, a store called Buc-E's. And they just used the Beaver logo, but put a mullet on it. Okay. Awesome. Just to indicate to you like this is the trashy one. I like that. But that's you know Mexico you just kind of let them get away with it. I don't know I still think it's weird to to go after Barkies here. Why don't we make that

then the news? Okay. That's Dumb Zone News. Like and subscribe. This is Merde. Today in history is going to be brought to us by Bear Fight Whiskey. Generally Saturday night will be my whiskey night now. Not with this particular bottle. The one we got downstairs is about half full or half empty if you're a pessimist. But

bearfightwhiskey.com is where you can order and get yourself one of these bottles. This one is just for show only for the video that we do. Bearfightwhiskey.com, little smoky, if that's the thing you're into. Spicy. Little spicy. And I even caught a little vanilla in there. So I really like it. Never was much of a whiskey guy. But if you like a little something, maybe like me, on the weekend, you're gonna break that out. bearfightwhiskey.com. It's an award winner.

Bearfightwhiskey.com. Here's to embracing your bear fights, raise a glass to all the bold challenges that come your way. At the Dumb Zone we ask what's your bear fight? Order bear fight whiskey now at bearfightwhiskey.com. That's part of the copy there. I just read it. You know we were talking about uh, we were talking about crossover events last week with like Chicago Fire and Petey and Med. Yeah. I think the best possible crossover event would have been if they hooked up Chris Hansen and the impractical jokers, but like they didn't know So yeah go in there man, that'd be great no no Mers sit down here's some lemonade I have No, the deputies are literally outside

Here dial this number, let's see if we get anything I got a couple of viewer mail birthdays. And the number we dialed is for... Well, on the off chance he's watching the livestream, I won't say his name just yet. But I will tell you, it is the birthday of Nick Anselmo, who says, Dear Uncle Gruul Connoisseur. I wonder if he's related to Pantera guy. It's over there now. Day one DF 523 Nick Anselmo. Not Phil. Sorry. Hey is this Taylor or excuse me Landon? Yes. Alright so you were aware that we were going to call you? I had a hint of it.

Okay, I thought she'd keep it quiet. Anyway, this is Landon Taylor. He is 27 years old, right? Yes, correct. So you're aware of who we are? Yeah, this is my heroes, you know. Landon, you old dirty dog. Been waiting for this moment for two years. So, this is the thing I was telling you about last week, Blake. I'm like, some lady was emailing me, and she was like, oh, thank you so much for doing this.

much for doing this. He's gonna love it. Can you make the video for the video? He loves Dan's daughters roasting you. He needs you guys for Luca Mavs therapy. He learned about the Akatar series from Jake. That's gonna get you laid, Landon. Ashley says she read it years ago, LOL. We just got engaged. Oh, maybe not. He also just lost his job in refugee resettlement because of the Trump administration. So lots of highs and lows lately.

Ha ha. And then she goes, he's going to love it when you make this video. So I go to Blake, and I'm like, did we agree to make some video? And Blake goes, oh no, somebody hit me up on Instagram and I just said that we'll shout him out on the show. And so, cuz I was going back and forth with this lady last week. And then so this weekend, like Sunday on his birthday that morning

she's like hey here's a reminder can you do the video? Part of the former Mormon mafia there you gotta be careful. So then I was like oh I didn't I'm sorry what if we called him on the show and then she said this would be amazing he might die and then she told you I thought she'd keep this a secret and I want to surprise you. Well she be amazing, he might die. And then she told you. I thought she'd keep this a secret. And I want to surprise you. Well, she didn't want him to die. Yeah, maybe that's right.

Well, yeah, I'm in Charleston. So I was walking towards the Ravenel Bridge over the port. And she told me this, and it sent me on my way back. Kept applying for jobs, found some hope again. All right, 27 years old, or you were 26 when you did it, how did you get engaged? We actually had a big family trip planned to Gay-Pourri, so I did it there a couple weeks ago.

Okay, see, that's the thing. You have to, like that's part of your culture now, right? This generation, you couldn't just have Aster in your apartment. No. Like you have to do a bit. You have to have pictures, you have to have a thing. It started with the promposals, you know?

Yeah, right. That's true. Explain. What is that? I'm a part of the generation that definitely everyone had to make a big sign and make a big deal about asking someone to prom. So yeah, I think it's just built up. I did not know that existed. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I would say in the last 10 years,

that's that's terrible. Not just asking somebody to prom with a note. Oh, my God. You're begging. Yeah. The mini suit is. Let me see. Let me see the multimedia package that you've produced for me. Like you're pitching Dwight Howard and free agents. But much like these marriage proposals, I would think if you're ready to do something and have a photographer jump out of the bushes, you both already kind of know.

But the prom thing, one of those things, is you might ask somebody that doesn't really suspect you. Yeah, but I think probably people mostly do it with their girlfriend, and they make a big show out of it. So it's all performative. Yeah, of course. So none of this really is necessary. Well, I mean, it makes women, and perhaps men, feel good. And maybe it's, you get one of those those things done and then you can do that later.

Yeah, you could feel good. The only reason we're doing any of this stuff is for sex. Were you with like a federal agency, Landon? What was your refugee situation? I was community engagement with Lutheran Services Carolina. So they're a subsidiary. Basically they get told by the federal government who's coming here, you know, they're all the people eating the dogs and the cats. That's who I would call them. Right.

What do you think, we got any leads now that you're not gonna jump off that bridge? What are we looking at here? 27, so hoping, you know, last option before the bridge is grad school But definitely just looking for work right now listen not a bad idea my friend Jake went that route listen when you see I swear to God you can actually see this in application Statuses when you see the economy about to do a little economy See if you can find a law school or a grad school

to write that shit out for like three years, you can reenter the job market. Yeah, I feel like it would look really good next to the political science major right above my trash can. Yeah, but you know, you were helping people or something. Boy, he is going the Jake route, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You a drinker? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Happen to cut back early on that one. I already see that route going down that one. Yeah, OK. Well, happy birthday, Landon.

Yeah. Tell Ashley what's up for us. Yeah. Tell her I said sorry. Yeah. She's a hard worker. I'll tell her she has to submit a picture now. So. Ooh. Hey, wait. Yeah, tell her I said sorry. Yeah, she's a hard worker. I'll tell her she has to submit a picture now. So.

Ooh, there we go. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, though. Grimms are the rules. Quick question here. Do former Mormons, are they as appreciative as former PFWs or homeless folk? POWs? What did I say?

PFW. PFW. What's a PFW? Yeah, definitely. I mean, in my case, for sure. All right, ready to party. Good.W. P.F.W. What's a P.F.W.? Yeah, definitely. I mean, in my case, for sure. All right. Ready to party. Good to know. Excellent.

Good to know. All right. Send us some pictures of that, too. Or video. Thank you all so much. Happy soaking. Real quick, I just want to say I was terrified. Jake hopped behind me one time at a Chapo trap house filming in Dallas and I was using the

restroom and he just says ah the great Graham Harrell. While I'm taking a piss and you know your leader walks up to you at the urinal you don't know what to do so I just shook his hand but was hoping for a bit more next time. I'm sorry we were in the bathroom I shouted out the fact that you were wearing a Graham Harrell Jersey in 2023 I just wanted a bit more next time maybe, you know All right. Well next time why don't you keep that thing out and I'll suck you off right there in the bathroom, Landon Jesus, what do you want? Thank you

It's not your birthday every day, pal Now I see why your wife's beaten Everywhere you go, you're like Hey, wife's not, she's not the wife yet, so she can still escape. That's true. Happy birthday, man. Thank you. Dear Osama Bin Bustin, today is my son Dean's future Brown's

legend Dak Prescott birthday. Please. Dean, that's a good name. That's a cool name. People aren't using much anymore. His leaders are Bruce Drennan's accountant, Shitlib Jake, Yeah man. and the rehab vape thief.

Fuck that guy. I forgot about that. Yeah, it was Matt Sturgill. He wants less Blake parenting advice and more TC FNICO free Luigi from Clayton. That's a solid email and Dearest moose knuckle muppet here Today is the birthday of my girlfriend Shonda She will certainly be giving me a mouth hug while we're listening to this episode.

Jeez. Establish the Run Guy gets her going. Oh man, she's in luck. Leaders are me and surrogate's husbands who have a prego fetish. Less Jake always being in a hurry to finish every segment and the pod. Just lay back and enjoy it Jake. From Randy. Les, Jake always being in a hurry to finish every segment and the pod. Just lay back and enjoy it, Jake, from Randy. OK, noted, Randy.

What do you really talk about that angle? What if you're married to a surrogate? Yeah, I do know the guy. I know Noviello's surrogates, who was her husband at the time. I guess we could ask him. Yeah, you gotta be into it. We talked about that a lot after the show the other day, just like the women were all talking about the number,

and we're like, that ain't enough. 25? Pocketing 25 per nine months? I don't know, man. Feels low. I got one more, more just came in. But the market's kinda telling them it's not that hard though.

So, that's tough. Sorry Dan, yeah I saw one come in too. This came in during the show. Birthday shout out to Matt Bankhead. Yeah. Good dude. AKA Big Bank. Big Bank.

Our token real one, the blackest white guy we know. He turns 38 today. We were in the den the Friday before Texas OU last year. Red River stories were being told off the air. Bankhead tells the story about the time he was in college at the Cotton Bowl and insulted our friend's mother so badly at the game He had to write her a letter to apologize Dan then offered him a cold Lone Star beer and he sheepishly replied. I can't really drink anymore The funny thing is I saw that whole thing playing out like I could tell the guy was turning down beers He's like yeah, I used to blackout and I yelled at my friend's mom It was really bad Dan's like toss him a beer. Is this Afterhab? Yeah. Okay so now you're like. I knew this. Yeah we got a little radar. Yeah for sure. This is from the his P1DZ group chat boys. Meet Grady. Happy birthday Bankhead. That's a good

group right there. Elsewhere so it it's Monday, March 31st. This is Today in History. Tomorrow we got a little, what do you call it, MBR, correct? Yes. Oh heck yeah. Either that or I'll tell you about the history of April Fool's Day. I haven't decided yet. Take it easy. On this day in 1976, the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that Karen Ann Quinlan, she was a woman in a persistent, vegetative state, she could be disconnected from her respirator. So she was disconnected and then lived another nine years.

They're like, god damn it. No way for real. Yeah Wow died in 1985 Don't aren't you pissed if you're her like we could have done this however long ago Well, I mean you if you're the family you're like, uh, I gotta keep paying for this. Oh, man. I don't wanna keep paying for this anymore. Let's unplug it. So they unplugged it. She's like, eh, guess what though? I'm not gonna die. I need to talk to our business guy

and get all that squared away. Our lawyer. Like the what happens when you die stuff. Lot of feedback on that the other day. Turns out, if you listen to The Dumb Zone, you've meticulously thought through keeping your wife from accessing your social media accounts when you die. Nice.

Hey, no, a buddy of mine told me about this website. So this is weird. On this day in 1976, that's when they ruled about Karen Ann Quinlan. On this day in 2005, Terry Shiva died 13 days after her feeding tube was removed in a right to die court fight. Yeah, turns out if you stop feeding them that's the way to go. That's all you had to do with Karen Ann Quinlan. You know what a lot of people don't know Dan, you know before you did have to feed her with a tube, Terry Shivo, very attractive woman.

Just, they don't ever use that photo, like they always use her. The dying photo? I mean it's not even just a dying photo, they were like, oh look she's making that face. That she makes sometimes, like get that one. It's like it's just a rude photo. I don't know. I'll just keep going with the death theme. Usually we do this at the end, but on this day in 1995, Selena, fatally shot.

Hey, you know what, I got a great idea. At the Days Inn in Corpus Christi. This lady who seems a little shady owes me thousands of dollars. What if I go meet her solo at her hotel room at a Days Inn at night? No, no, I'm dead. You know what, I have some info on the Selena killer, but I'm gonna hold that for a subscription only podcast. I think you should debate whether, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. It's better than what I thought you were going to do, which was share that

information right now before we talked about it. If I ever do release it, because Jake is probably going to convince me not to. It's going to be on a subscription only. Because it's explosive stuff, it really is. And another death on this day in 2019, Nipsey Hussle. Oh! Discovered by LeBron. Yeah, that's right.

And if only LeBron was there. Now, you're confusing two very funny stories, but I do think part of the LeBron Nipsey Hussle thing is that he, Nipsey Hussle's like, I have like 30 songs, I can't put these all on an album, and LeBron's like, you sitting down? What if you do a Deluxe album?

You put all 30 on there. Nipsey Hussle, you would like his story, Dan. Who's the one he said he was listening to in the Heat Locker Room? Okay, but they weren't even like, there was nothing out, you would have had a mix tape? Yeah, and even then, you would have had to had a mixtape or yeah even even then you would Had to live in Atlanta, okay

on this day in 1995 the movie Tommy boy opened I heard it's getting 4k for the anniversary. This is a yeah 30 year anniversaries today. That's why I'm bringing it up Jake Exciting day man. I remember this day. Okay, was it's... We were at the ticket and Jake came over to me. Glenn Humplick got left the top green show or...

Jake told me I would be out of a radio job within two years. Bucky Lasek left Birdhouse or... He said the ticket will cease to exist in fact Most radio will cease to exist because he on this day air America Oh my god launched. It was a intended as a liberal voice in network talk radio and Jake is like bro. This is it Garofalo is gonna have eat your lunch Man sorry about my foot. That uh... The network faulted it. God it sucked so bad and it was you know I'm glad they tried it though because it really just drove home how boring and unlikable most of the

talking heads on the left were. God look at this murderers row of annoying people. You know what's funny? One of their hosts... Is Mark Maron in one of them?...was RFK. Oh yeah? That is funny. You know, from his longtime... Yeah....democratic voting record. Garofalo, Mark Maron, of course, Rachel Maddow, Jerry Springer, Chuck D. The Young Turks had a show there. That show's not bad, but in general, yes. It's just boring. And on this day in 2014, Conan did his show here at the Dallas Majestic Theater. I was so excited for that. Did you go?

No. It was very hard to get into. Adam Sandler and Tig Notaro were guests. So they wanted somebody that was funny. And then they had to have something to balance the scales out. I would not have. I would have walked out.

I mean, I guess I would have known. I'm not a fan of Tig Notaro's. Not funny at all. At all. Dirk also was on the show. That have known. I'm not a fan of Tignitaros. It's not funny at all. At all. Dirk also was on the show. That's right. I remember that. And a famous wedding on this date in 1996,

Clint Eastwood marries news anchor Diana Ruiz. Here's her name. He is 65. She is? 38. 50. 30. Oh, man. I don't know why.

I had hope. 35 year age difference. But she's 30. Is that okay? Like if she was 29 that would feel weird. Like alright, she's 30. You want to hear a weird story? So they got divorced in 2014.

So what did that give them? 18 years of marriage? Yeah, that's pretty good. She was married a year to a year and a half later to someone named Scott Fisher, who is an Australian basketball player or former and basketball coach. Because I was thinking like what what do you do you're replacing Clint Eastwood like he can't be like Rob Schneider's character from the home team movie where he's just like drinking green juice he's not 80 right just dude he's still like he's still Clint he's still Clint Eastwood at least this guy's like from Australia and plays sports two things that are generally cool. Like whoever has my wife next is gonna have a great time. Well

the thing is replacing me is gonna be easy. No the guy after you will immediately see. Because I'm an asshole and I got a small wiener so it's gonna be like. Well I mean if nothing else I was gonna say yeah. She's gonna be like I can't believe this can be so great life No, the guy after you his sex drive the riding lawnmower You wouldn't believe it his sex drive will be viewed like along the lines of Ron Jeremy Like just by merely being interested every now and then yeah, she's like stay off me right we already did it this quarter Quarterly Stay off me. Right. We already did it this quarter. Oh, quarterly. He wants to eat. That's a bit much.

At a different restaurant every day. Blows her mind. Yeah. Like, wait, you don't have to go to the same place every day. Go to a different place? But then would you be mad? You could eat after 5 30? What if she starts cooking and cleaning?

Oh my God, she of course will. Dude, that is such a sad scene when it happens. So I have a buddy who got divorced. He was the first one of us who got divorced early. And it was a girl we went to high school with. We all knew each other through college. So when they were together, both had jobs but then she did not have a job towards the end and they got divorced and then her second

marriage she hasn't had a job at all and she's turned into like a mommy blogger so this woman who was essentially she earned her keep but she was not a homemaker she was not helpful at all once she got married a homemaker. She was not helpful at all Once she got married a second time now. She's like fucking miss Instagram video of like and here's how we make the She's nothing but just homemaker Extraordinaire and I'm like, I don't know man. I feel like we were it's kind of like being a kid and seeing your dad get remarried and then the second kid never gets spanked with a belt and gets this cool stuff and his dad plays catch with them

and you're just looking over there going, oh, he sees how to do it right now. He made those mistakes early. But I don't know anything about that. I'm not mad mad I'm not upset about it at all I never think of it elsewhere TJ Bass 26 cowboy current cowboy you might see be seeing and hearing a lot more about him in the coming weeks hope not he looks so much like the prototype or prototypical offensive lineman. It's scary. Like if you just see a picture of TJ Bass, if you didn't know. Kemp's been? Oh is there? No, wasn't there

a guy they drafted a couple years ago? Josh Ball. Yeah, he's gone. Ball and bass, similar. Former Dallas star Michael Ryder, 45. That's where she got the name? I don't think so. I think it's just a popular name. Former Ranger Jeff Mathis, 42. Boy, I barely remember that. Jordan Maillata is 28.

Super Bowl champion. Pavel Bure, 54. Molly Quarum is 41. The first take host. And I'm only mentioning her actually, I probably wouldn't have put her on this list. I didn't know though, married to Jalen Rose. Yeah, well divorced.

Or they separated. Oh really? That's too bad. Can I follow up Jalen Rose. Yeah. Well, divorced. Or they separated. Oh, really? That's too bad. Can I follow up Jalen Rose? Could you marry me? Could she, could she hook up with me and be impressed at all? She wouldn't be worried about you hooking up with anyone else, which I promise you was always a concern with Jalen Rose. Jalen Rose is on the road for a couple weeks. Yeah. She's not having to do check your FitB bit at 2 a.m. Yeah, he's like oh there he is There he is But she also won't be upset if it's just porn

No Scott Piolli is 60 Patriot tree chiefs and man Kind of sucked with the Chiefs. He did kind of suck. Did he run them into the ground? Yeah, he ran them into the ground, I guess you could say that. The one guy that killed himself?

Yeah, he had that little dust off where he had to watch Javon Belcher kill himself in the parking lot in front of him and I think... There was a coach there. He didn't make the All Death team by the way. Oh. Linebacker's a pretty stacked spot. Yeah. If you really start pouring through it.

Kate McCoochie is 45. Dan. Good friend from Garfunkel and Oates. Blake, you ever hear of the Partridge family? Not a chance. The mom on the Partridge family is 91, Shirley Jones. Romeo Cranel was there. Herb Alpert is 90.

Also Dan, I think. Really? You know who he is? The trumpet player? Yeah, the jazz band leader is he? What'd you say? Tia wanna brass. Tia wanna brass. Christopher Walken is 82. Burt. Is that Burt, Michael? All right. Severance. Gabe Kaplan is 81 from a show called Welcome Back, Cotter, Blake, which starred John Travolta when he was a teenager. Al Gore, how old would you guess Al Gorez knowing he ran for president one two three you could just say the

number of years ago was four presidents ago but you just say two thousand four it's just it's 25 it's easy I just didn't know what year he did it was also not that it's also he ran in the easiest year to ever remember 2000 He didn't run in 38 I'm gonna say Al Gore right now is 74 78 he looks good So still younger than Biden and Trump. What was the claim baby Adrena chrome made the internet?

Yeah, and everybody you can do read a deep dive article on it. He didn't really do that, but whatever. He looked at the internet. What he did do is get bully ball bitched around by Bush and his lawyers and forever negatively alter the trajectory of the country. But at least he was playing fair. Pussy. Seriously, that's where it all started, right? No, the party was playing fair. Pussy.

Seriously, that's where it all started, right? No, the party of playing fair. Like, oh no, I don't think we're allowed to do this. Okay. What kind of a message would that send to the world? Aye, aye, aye. Rhea Perlman is 77. I do like her quite a bit.

I think she's really funny. Ewan McGregor is 54. From Trainspotting. Ewan McGregor, what else is he in that I like? You ever heard of the show called Night Rider, Blake? Yeah, I think so. Come on. What is it?

About a car or something. That's right, David Hasselhoff. And his car, Kit. Drove this car. The voice of Kit is William Daniels? That's right. David Hasselhoff. And his car, Kit. Drove this car. The voice of Kit is William Daniels and he's 98. Who has played, who is also the actor who plays Mr. Feeny. And? Boy Meets World.

All right. That was a staple of our youth. And obviously, did you already say Hasselhoff? You did, right? I you did right? I said he's the main guy in that show and Brian Tyree Henry 43 Is that Tyrese that's paperboy. Oh, okay. Yeah right on born in the state now dead Gordie Howe and Mark Tune, dead on the stay-still-dead Isaac Newton and Jesse Owens. Give me a year, Blake.

Isaac Newton. So any year Isaac Newton was, what did he discover? Gravity? Is it gravity? Laws of motion, I know that one. Like he's sitting under an apple tree and an apple fell on his head or is that William Tell? Let's just say science, physics, gravity, Laws of Motion, what year? Any year that he was alive. He lived to be 84, so you have an 84-year span. 1650.

Damn! Born in 1643, dead in 1727, run the ball Blake is today's champion. Yeah. Outside of maybe this comment that someone just emailed us, because I have my email open during the show, somebody on our Twitch stream commented, I love this show, it is sorta a shock to see and listen to three normal

Americans I need to stop watching Fox News All right cool You guys are like the Ted lasso of modern day three normal Americans is what we need I think it's cuz Blake use that slur earlier on Everybody's like okay warming up to these guys a little bit Good. Yeah, I do adios mofo earlier on it every second okay warming up to these guys a little bit good job Adios mofo He's a run the ball guy. He likes it real simple. Fuck your new age thinking. The play don't need a wrinkle.

Belly left, belly right, blue 22. Hut, he don't fuck with your reality. He takes it up the gut. What's his name, bitch? Mr. Blake Jones. He's getting four yards running off the tackle through the zone. Who's the run the ball guy? Mr. Blake Jones.

He's getting four yards running off the tackle through the zone I formation, hit the line with penetration Game plan from the 50s for every situation Oh, you got some new idea, five wide and a gun Fuck that shit, he's establishing the run Fuck that shit, he's establishing the run Fuck that shit, he's establishing the run. Fuck that shit, he's establishing the run. Fuck that shit, he's establishing the run.

The hand off, the hand off.