The Dumb Zone FREE - Rangers Opening Day reaction and LeBron isn't funny | DZ 3-28-25

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

Hear the entire episode by subscribing to The Dumb Zone at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneWe broadcast from one of the nicest homes we've ever been to. We've got reactions from Opening Day, we have to listen to LeBron speak, and we've got a crazy story in closing remarks ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hey now! What you are about to hear is a free preview of one of this week's premium episodes of The Dumb Zone. If you would like to hear this program in full, along with the full archive... Ah, shit. If you would like to hear this program in full, with the archive of all of our past episodes, you can subscribe at DumbZone.com. Vince Vaughn, 55. I think he's great. I doone.com. Vince Vaughn, 55. I think he's great. I do too.

I can see him kind of being an asshole. Ah, you know. Which one of us? Yeah, he's good enough that you put up with that sometimes. LadyGaga, 39. I'm glad she exists. I'm not against her. No, I just like because I don't, she's

not like a conventionally stunningly attractive woman. And she's very, very popular. So that makes me happy. I like the Star is Born. Did you? Did you not see that? Yeah, but when you're like an alcoholic, it's a tough watch. Your wife's just looking at you. Oh, okay. All right. I kind of forgot the subject of that.

This movie's crazy, man. It's not a fun watch. Reba McIntyre 70. Don't get it. Reba McIntyre 70. Don't get it. Cheryl James. Cheryl James, also known as Salt, is 59. Oh, okay. Of Npeppa.

Tracy Needham is 58. I think that's the sister in Life Goes On with Chris Burke. Let it go. I'm just pointing out, he's 58. Do you think he texts her on this day? Was there like a key grip or something?

Do you think he texts her on this day? To wish her a happy birthday? He once wished me a happy birthday. Yeah, we know. Why were you not happy about that? I'm sorry. You don't know the story? Grooves, right?

So Chris Burke had Down syndrome. Yeah. Has. And was the star of Life Goes On. Yeah. And yeah, so he was on the GBL. Kind of. Don't kind of.

Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask him. I'm saying, not that I really. About his process. No. I'm saying, I might have put him on the GBL kind of for comedy. So when you're method acting, do you? Like, I don't know that I expected.

So what's coming up next? Do you do anything like opposite Jennifer Aniston, a little rom com role? Well, that's why the discussion. Are you trying out for Oppenheimer? Slide in with Jason Statham on the next thriller action movie. He's Chris Burke. Well, here's the question.

He was on your list because he's a retarded actor and you thought it'd be funny to have somebody else book him. I didn't think they'd ever book him. That's probably what I really thought. But the question is, is he actually a good actor? I don't know, man. If he can't be in a rom-com? He can't win.

They want to do representation. He's a little pipe cast. Yeah. Like he's trying to get other roles, and nobody will listen to him. Oh, yeah. Actually, they have me playing the Hulk. But the point is, Groob's booked him.

I'm sorry for all this nuclear bomb. Groob's booked him. I just get real mad. And in booking someone, sometimes you lie. Oh yeah. And so what Groob said is, could you come on because it's, I work with this guy, it's his birthday. Well then Grubb's failed to tell me that that's how he booked him.

And so it's on, you know, it's September or whatever and it's nowhere near my birthday and the first thing he says is, oh, happy birthday, Dan. And I'm like, what, what, what, is it your birthday? He's like, no, no, no, oh, happy birthday, Dan. And I'm like, what? Is it your birthday? He's like, no, no, no, no, it's your birthday. And I'm like, he was trying to be nice. And I'm like, OK. He almost slipped into the accent. I was waiting on it.

Ha ha ha ha ha. It was like, and we've had big names on, I can't remember ever being as nervous. Yeah, no, because you could have nuked your whole career. Right. I'm like, I don't know what we're doing. Why are we doing this? Oh, damn. Nobody asked for it and all of a sudden, oh my God.

Just like everything I ever do. Actor Julia Stiles, 44. The last dance or something. Yeah. I don't really. Save the last dance? There you go. And then I have two special ones to end.

Chris Burke. And Jake can point out why I'm bringing each one of these up. Okay. See if you can. I'll give you the more difficult one first for our future birthdays of the day. Henry Paulson is 79. Why do I know that name? Henry Paulson from 2006 to 2009 was the Secretary of the Treasury.

Oh, the type of guy that you could see and be seen with. I feel like that fits right into that bit. Yeah, Leon Panetta. Someone you might see at the Redskins game. Is that booty judge? And then this one's easy for you. 56 years old today, Brett Ratner, movie director. Wow, yeah, shrimp cocktail fame.

One of the wilder Me Too stories, if you have a Me Too story that sticks out, like when everybody was getting Me Too'd, that one was, there was some actress who had gone to his trailer and he answered the door in a robe, nude from the waist down, to talk to her about a role, and I believe he was aroused and eating shrimp cocktail just naked which I guess you're not allowed to do

how cool would it be just to be able to walk around with the shrimp cocktail you just go sauce in one hand and just dip and yeah like the only time I've ever had shrimp cocktail it's like a big event. Yeah. Like, but just to have it on a Tuesday? Yeah. Naked? With your wiener hanging out?

Yeah. It's power. It's like, it's like what runs the shrimp. Born on this day now dead. Frederick Pabst. Okay. Okay. King of Lone Star probably, right?

Invented Pabst blue ribbon. August Bush Invented Bush beer. That's why they built, uh, well, no, I guess it was his dad. One of them. Adolphus Bush is why the Adolphus Hotel in Dallas, my favorite hotel here exists. Saw a Rangers

jersey yesterday with the number, or the name on the back was just Anheuser-Busch. Nice. Just a big fan. For the brand. Yeah. And born on the stay now dead Selma Rubin, she invented Earth Day.

That's spare. And the Rubin sandwich. Dead on the stay, still dead. Ivan the Terrible, who lived in- What the hell is that terrible Dead on the stay still dead. Ivan the terrible who lived in- Nothing really that terrible. That's a good one. What? Give me within 50 years,

any year he lived in. You want to go first, heart attack man? I'm going to say 1650. That's not far from what I was gonna say I promise. I'm gonna go 1550. But it does feel good to have the smart guy, heart attack man, go first. He knows things. I don't know, 1500. Okay. Well I think the smart guy finished in last then. He was,

well let's see, he died on this day in 1584 at the age of 53. I missed. How does he skate on the whole, like you know, I mean, Hitler was bad but you only just get like Pol Pot and Stalin I mean he was terrible. It's gotta be that you're in an era of more media coverage and there are many people who still are alive. Alive and it's like you could say your grandpa or something. Yeah that that's true was involved in that Six wives seems like a lot of them had a habit of dying the year that he married him. Holy shit Really Ivan the terrible? Oh my god Third wife died year of marriage fourth wife died year of marriage fifth wife died one year of marriage

You'd think one of them would get the marriage. Geez, I know. Yeah. Also died on this day, Jan Vander Heyden invented the fire hose. Give me a year on. Oh my gosh. The fire hose, I have no,

what did they even do before, buckets? Now he was 75 when he died so can you give me a year that he was alive? 1878. 1910. Did they have fire? I have no idea. He died on this day in 1712 so that means somewhere before that. They had fire hoses in the 1600s.

Learned something new every day. Also died on this day still dead, Cumberland Posey. We used to bring him up on Why Day Doesn't Suck Every Year just because of his nickname on his baseball reference dot-com page. What was it? Cum. Cum Posey. Oh Cum. And that was Today in History.

So... Once Cum got on that field you couldn't get him off. And that was Today in History. So... Once Cum got on that field, you couldn't get him off. Oh, what am I doing here? Go take some BP. That's pre-Cum. All right, Otherham. I'm just waiting on it.

You have a nice weekend. All right, bro. waiting on you have a nice weekend all right bro it is time for closing remarks out here at the home of chase and summer I know at least one person we need on did summer walk run away because you told her we were gonna have her on and then she left midsummer we need to talk to that guy. She can't be afraid of us. Yeah. Oh, we have gifts? How about that? Have we fully like explained how kick ass this place is? So you're not coming on are you some summer? All right well the thing is that I thought we're kind of here for summer because in that initial email that was sent to me by Chase, he said,

lastly and most importantly, you don't want to grab the mic either Chase? All right, geez. This is great. Lastly and most importantly, in lieu of waking her up in that special way as a birthday gift to my wife, I will be contacting Blake to set up a remote at our house in Aledo in Aledo in the fall that's all she asked for for her birthday Wow how low maintenance is that a lie oh it doesn't sound like a midsummer oh wow she didn't he didn't even buy this damn he didn't he's not the one that even got her this. He's an idea guy. Okay.

Well, all I care about is these presents. This place is incredible though. And the one that's for me. Do you guys have like, is the floor like this so you could just mop it? Yeah, where's the cows? Like there's so much field, no, there's nothing. You have no lives.

Is this the biggest place we've ever been? Cause we've been to great. This is up there. H, there's nothing. You have no lives. Is this the biggest place we've ever been? Because we've been to great houses, estates. This is certainly a beautiful house. But I was going to ask, Cary Mounts, is he the other one? As far as land? He might have him beat. That might be like a hundred acres. Blake was asking if he was going to put a deckyard back here. You could. There's a Nice little square back there. Oh my god. You could make a nice little baseball field.

Sure, if you're an old. I thought you liked baseball. Opening day was yesterday. I'm trying to get in everything. Make sure we get this guy before we get out of here. Well, let's get him now. OK. What are we doing?

Mike's right there. His name is now. Okay. What are we doing? Mike's right there. His name is Bobby. Yeah. So his friend here decided to out him. You can use that one. He said, we should talk about your bachelor party. I was like, oh, what was it? Was it something wild?

He's like, nah, it was just West Seventh, Fort Worth. Cause we were talking about the neighborhood that we used to both live in. And he's, oh, yeah, it was on a reality show No more your bachelor party Okay, let's throw that mic in front of your face. So what's the show? It was married at first sight married at first sight and what was the nature of this reality show? We divorced or something. No, no, I'm still married. Yeah You're well married to the girl. Okay, you're single. You're, whoa.

Still married to her, yeah. Start at the start. So I just got a random phone call when I was at lunch one day. How old? Oh gosh, I was probably 27, and it was like, hey, you looking for love? But it was this guy named Hershey Petty,

so I was really geeked out by his name, blocked his number, thought it was spam, and then I heard on the ticket actually, they were doing an advertisement or whatever, so I figured out it wasn't BS. Called the guy back and my family had put in an application for it, but the application was that I was gay.

So it was a prank on me, but they put it in like I was looking to marry another guy. My family did it. Yeah, my mom dad sister yeah just a bit your mom is like they were all in this will be hilarious yeah let's see if Sarah son is gay yeah see if it sticks so anyway went through your family sounds awesome yeah they're pretty great yeah all right yeah went through like a year process a lot of different stuff different tests different interviews and then they just showed up at my door one day and they were like you have ten days

go find 25 people that'll come to your wedding at 11 o'clock on a Friday you're gonna meet this chick didn't know anything about her didn't know how old she was didn't know what color her skin was didn't know anything about her nothing didn't know her name, nothing. Age, nothing. But you're like, I'll marry her. Yeah, showed up to the wedding, married her. What? I don't, so wait, you gotta back up more.

Yeah. You're like, I got a random call from a guy and they thought I was gay. Yeah. Okay, so what did you hear on the ticket that indicates this is not a scam? There was casting going on in the DFW area for the show. For this show.

So that's when I knew it dawned on me it wasn't BS, wasn't spam. Guy was legit. I unblocked his number, called him back to apologize. You called him back, and you said, hey, but I'm not gay. Right. He was like, are you look, you know, are you? Oh, OK, we're doing chicks, too. Yeah.

Basically. OK. That was it. And you signed a contract with this reality show? Yeah. Basically. Okay. That was it. And you signed a contract with this reality show? Yeah. For what? I don't even know what I signed really to be honest, but it was like a year.

Like a hundred grand? No. You get money or no? Yeah, we got paid, but it wasn't enough. It's not like fuck you money or anything. They paid for the event though? Yeah, they paid for the wedding, they paid for the ring. But even just to be on the show though, did you get, like I'm saying, just give me a ballpark. 100 grand, 20 grand?

No, it was like, it was less than 10 grand. And it was per episode. So it was like, if there were however many episodes, you got paid per episode that aired. OK. And so what was the one year part? And you're like, I will get married. I think the contract was more around the title.

So they basically have you as long as the show doesn't change the name of the show. If they change the name of the show, like if you do a spinoff or something, then you can go in and renegotiate. So you married this person that day, that 10th day? You met them at the- I met her at the wedding and I married her legally the next day in Oklahoma. And you are still married? Still married.

So just like a somewhat like a Prince Hakeem, a coming to America hit. An arranged marriage. Basically, yeah. They gave me like a criteria. I had some deal breakers, like three deal breakers, absolute no-goes. Aggie. Yeah. Mine was like cats, tats, and debt or something like that.

Funny. Cats, tats, and debt or something like that. Funny. Cats, tats, and debt? Yeah. I was allergic to cats. That was kind of a no-go for me. Cats, didn't love them. Could have made it funnier if you were just like. I could care less now, but I was young and dumb.

Yeah, tats now. That's going to be hard to weed that out. It would have been funnier if you just leaned into it and just went with fats. Hey, you know me, Bobby. Cats, tats, and fat. I'll do anything but cats, tats, and fats. You did not give any racial parameters? No. No, I mean, it was, I was me, Bobby. Cats, tats, and fat. I'll do anything but cats, tats, and fats.

Did you not give any racial parameters? I was open to anything, so I was wide open there. How old were you? 27. I got married at 28. Did you do any body type thing? I don't need tats. Yeah, just no tats.

So what would have happened if you bailed? I did bail. I called and bailed probably nine days before the wedding. I was like, I can't do this because I was dating somebody at the time. You were dating when they called you? Yeah. And you said, yeah, I'll get married in 10 days. But I told her up front, I was like, listen, I'm going through this thing. It's been a long time. It may or may not happen. Just letting you know if it does happen, I got to go get married, and then it's eight weeks

before I can call you again. Oh, OK. So they didn't call you and say 10 days from now will you get married. They said for the next year. Well, they did. They gave me 10 days notice to get married. But you had known for a while.

But I had to go through this process for a while. OK, OK. But they were like, hey, look, only three guys get picked out of however many thousand or. So you're like, there's. I'm never going to get married. There's no chance I'm never going to get picked. So they live a normal life.

I did date this chick for a while. And then I just had to break up with her and get married. And I knew. Dude, that's not a bad, like, from her standpoint, she's like, oh, she charged into the game. I know. Nothing I could have done. There was an element, too.

Like, she was still willing. She was like, hey, if it doesn't work out in eight weeks, call me. And I was like, no way I can call her back. She's nuts. She's nuts. That she would say that. Yeah like hey if it doesn't work out in eight weeks call me and I was like no way I can call her back she's nuts she's nuts that she would say that yeah yeah but your garden weed itself there a little bit so you get married do you have sex with her that night no no it was really there was like too many people well that what wasn't really on the table but there was camera people around and it was exhausting the whole wedding was exhausting and then it wasn't till

Mexico on our honeymoon that I was able to seal the deal. It was like a week later. How long did it take for you to like this person? She must look okay. Yeah, no she's hot. I'm still weather. Yeah and she obviously wasn't turned off by you. No, I think I kind of grew on her, but I certainly wasn't her type. She told me that pretty much up front. Right up front? So you do the thing for TV Saturday, but then the next day you said you go to Oklahoma and get for some reason, why would you have to go to Oklahoma? I think in the state of Texas, in order to get legally married married you have to go to the church first before you can have a ceremony so we had the wedding in Texas and then went to Oklahoma where that's

the same whatever backwards he's one of the few people on this show who's still married because I'm looking at the Wikipedia page right now how long you been married just had seven years this month. God damn. It's insane. This is a full episode I feel like. It's pretty wild. What do you and you have?

I see here three children. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, but we got pregnant like right away. Like a couple months in. Okay, so we're not. Okay. Let it dig in, you know.

She was on board and. My mind is blown right now. Like he's just acting like this is a normal thing. So her family is cool, your family, like everybody's like, yeah, whatever. Yeah, everyone's fine. We don't really talk. I mean, they're in Washington, minor from Texas.

Did she live here at the time? Yeah, she was from Austin. OK, so she was mostly from Seattle. Yeah. OK. Yeah, OK. from Austin. Okay, so what was my choice of booze? Yeah, okay Yeah, okay This is great. It is great That's a really weird origin story, but I guess it's probably more common these days to have something like this I wouldn't let my kids do it. Yeah

Would you send like a fake gay casting call? That might be worth it. Yeah