The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 2-8-24

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Show at Cane Rosso in Frisco. We scare people out by talking Drake's leaked weiner, Greggo's prostitute advice, and Dan's fawning over Anna Nicole Smith(00:00) - Open (23:04) - NFL notes (54:20) - Viewer Mail (01:05:00) - Dan wants to talk Tony Snell (01:22:17) - Shane Gillis's return to SNL (01:41:22) - News (02:01:19) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week.

Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program. The Dunza. Before we let you go, this is really a purely American game. It doesn't translate well into a lot of other foreign countries because of the start and stop. What have you enjoyed about American football tonight as you watch it for the first time?

I'm enjoying it because they're, you know, grabbing and stopping the guy who's running. And, you know, they're looking for the ball. And watch each other, you know, they're looking for the ball. And watch each other, you know, guard. It's never not going to be funny. What if when you were in Spain, someone asked you in Spanish to evaluate what you think of this soccer game you just saw? I just want you to put yourself in poor Manny Pacquiao's shoes.

You're making fun of the guy. And you're just... Yeah, I probably would have said, why am I up here right now? I don't speak this language and I don't... Well, no, you're a famous boxer. Okay. You kick ass for a living. Yeah.

Which you do, verbally. Sure. Who needs to be ripped? Right here where the sausage is made. So we're recording this live to tape today. And on video. Is this a freebie, or is this behind the paywall? Because we are now going to put some videos exclusively behind the paywall.

When it's a behind the paywall day. Like I was thinking, since we're kind of like radio guys who do a podcast, that's a rod cast, right? Nah, I mean, I wasn't going to go with that at all. And then when we're behind a paywall, it's patio. Okay, yeah. Come on, guys. Look how happy Blake is with my idea. Well, I'm happy because I can tell you've been workshopping. I've been thinking about this. Last night in bed, he's like, I got to put this in the notes. It was probably in the shower.

That's where the best ideas come in the shower. That's where patio and broadcast came from? Yeah, and then I'm like... Stop showering. I gotta get... Honey, bring the phone over here. I got a voice memo. Jesus. Just text to me podcast...

And patio. Broadcast. Yeah. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. Well, anyway, it's Anne Historic Day. Is it? Do you go with Anne Historic or A Historic Day?

I think Anne. I think either way you could. That's a funny thing about having an editor is I learn grammar every week. I'm like, oh, that's how that's supposed to be said. That's the problem with having an iPhone is I forget more and more because it'll just spell for me. It'll this and that. Yeah. Yeah, I have a hard time handwriting now.

Oh, it's so bad. It doesn't look right. It doesn't correct. Right. Right. Anything I'm going to write out by hand, I type first. Like if I'm going to write like, you know, I still do the deal where I like write to my daughter. I type it out first.

Huh. Because I don't want it to just have like a bunch of like cross throughs and misspelled nonsense. Okay. That's interesting. It just seems like a lot of time. It does. It's not.

Is your daughter really worth it? She is. The boy's not. Okay. The boy's not. Okay. The boy sounds awesome. Jesus Christ. Why? What's wrong with him?

I mean. Just a terror? Yeah. I just. I don't know, dude. You guys got to come over and see it more often. And you'll get it. You'll get it.

Bring him to the Super Bowl stream. I was thinking about bringing Banks. Boy. Yeah, you need to. I was thinking about bringing Vinks. Boy. Yeah, you need to. I don't know, man, because we're going to have a big party scheduled for Saturday. Excuse me, Sunday. Super Bowl on Saturday or Sunday this year? I think this year they're doing Sunday.

There were a couple people that have been making that push. I think Dan Patrick being one of them. It should be. Yeah, you need to be off the next day. It makes no sense. Late-ass game. Everybody's drunk, eating terrible foods. You've already got the alliteration.

It'll still work. It'll still work. Super Bowl Saturday. Right. Yeah. You know, we have our own company. We could just take off the day after. We could. It's true. We could do whatever we want. We could.

I think we should have like three weeks off. I know that it's going to be a hectic environment, but that's kind of why I want to bring it. Dude, is there any way? So we're getting – I'm going out of order, but I'm being distracted by a butterfly. Do not turn around because I want you to be distracted when I am. But I want to just say where we are today.

Sure. And then promote Sunday and everything. But we are – it's an historic day because we are at our first ever – we've done these 690 remotes now. People are somewhat familiar that we will come out to your location of choice, which thus far has been people's living rooms. Sure. And we will broadcast for $6.90. For the hilariously low-priced.

Thought it was funny, then we realized, boy, this is way too cheap. Well, and it's also really weird. Like when you're talking, let's say we had a business meeting yesterday. We did. Quite a few of them, actually. And when you're sitting in there with business guy and you're like, okay, well, and he's like, all right, what's your model? What are you doing now? All right, well, we're behind a paywall for the most part.

And, you know, people can pay. And then I was wondering, okay because jake was telling him we're with like a real big this guy is a leader of industry and i'm like will jake say seven dollars will jake say what we charge and he's like and we charge 690 a month and uh the guy didn't blink yeah but i was just kind of thinking if we ever go to our pricing schedule. We're like, you can get a 420 remote. You can get a 690. You can get a...

What other sex acts can we work into our pricing structure? But we're at Cane Rosso at the Star in Frisco. You think Jerry's ever been here? The great Cane Rosso. Jerry has never been here. I bet he's eaten food from here. Jay, has Jerry Jones ever been here? That's Jay.

Dude, if he's going to buy wine at the gas station, he's going to come over for pizza. Yeah. Okay. Dump a whole thing of salt on it. Well, I would say... Or the Parmesan cheese. I guarantee you Jerry's a Parmesan cheese guy.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Just takes it on there. I would not say Cane Rosso is the gas station wine of pizza. I would say I would give it a more elevated. Don't act like Jerry's above going to eat pizza. I think. He's buying bottles of wine at 7-Eleven.

I realize that that was a terrible sales job from Blake, but I think he's really just trying to illustrate the idea that he'll be out in the mix with the people. Yeah. That's what I meant. that he'll be out in the mix with the people. Yeah, that's what I meant. Many have tried to knock Cane Rosso off the top of the mountaintop. Metroplex pizzas, they can't.

Yeah, they can't. They can't. One time I was eating at the one in Fort Worth, and I feel like it was when we were walking in maybe, and do you know what soppressata is? Remind me. I've heard of it. It's like a type of meat.

It's kind of like a pepperoni, but it's better. Okay. And at the Fort Worth restaurant, you know, on the side, it said, like, hot soppressata. You know, they were just listing a bunch of, you know, how restaurants do, like, burger, beer, whatever. And we were walking in, and this guy was walking by with his girlfriend, and he was like, oh, yeah, they just opened this new soprasada restaurant. That was what they sold? He just saw the word and wanted to see him as if he knew what cool culinary places are doing.

Did you dunk on him? No, but I've told this story a hundred times since then. Okay. That's right, dude. They just opened a restaurant. They just serve pepperoni. It's just hot pepperoni. It's the whole business model. That's how it used to be.

Or that's how it is in Mexico when you have a store for pan. Yeah. Bread store. Yeah. I just go there for bread. I go here for chicken. So can I bring the cat? I was going to say. Wife says no, but I say yes. I think you'll be a hit'll be the thing is like because i know my dogs are going to have a big problem you know when the den gets too busy but they may just leave and we're going to have 15 people up there they will leave the room yeah well the problem is they will leave into a downstairs action with another 15 to 20 people yep and uh we can give a little advanced plug for the greatness of Eatsies, who's going to be out there and setting us up. Just talked to Adam Romo. Wings for P.

Yeah, yeah. And we've ordered a bunch from their football menu. And he wanted me to remind you that they're also taking orders on their Valentine's menu. I may do that. At www.eatsies.com. I may do that. We have a trip coming up, so I kind of skated on having to do any, like, Valentine's Day stuff. Yeah.

I went with the chalk. I ordered some flowers the other day. They now have a $75 minimum for the flowers. Because I told her, I was like, I don't know, around $50. What's the cheapest thing you have? And she's like, do you love your wife? I'm like, we've been married a long time. Yeah.

Can you give me that one? We've been married a long time. On one hand, there's the married a long time package and the cheating package. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've been cool on that front this year. On one hand, there's the married a long time package and the cheating package. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've been cool on that front this year. Give it time. Anyway, you know the old bit my wife used to get mad at me on Valentine's?

Yeah, because you'd get free flowers. Well, it wasn't free. It was for a lot of work. Yeah, hard. That's part of your compensation package. Because back then we did proflowers.com spots and are willing to again if Mr. Proflowers is listening. But they said, okay, what's your wife's birthday? And then what's Valentine's Day?

They didn't ask me what Valentine's, everybody knew that. So they just said, on your wife's birthday and Valentine's Day, we will send you flowers. And they would arrive, and she would say, oh, this is cool.

Like, well, what did you get me? I go, well, that. I go, I work. They could pay us money, and then we would go buy flowers, but they just cut out the middleman. I am working. Like, now I don't get that. Right.

And she's not getting her pro flowers. She got it from the grapevine or something, the grapevine place. The grape place. Yeah, it used to be Grapevine Flower Mart, but they've changed their name or something. I don't know. Something like that. Hey, have you guys seen Drake's Junk? I tried to find it, but I couldn't.

What are you talking about? Good Lord. I think it's just... Drake's Wiener? It's very similar to the idea that Jerry will just go buy wine at a 7-Eleven or just hop into a pizza restaurant that we would frequent. Just to know that you can be one of the most famous male artists in the world and you still just beat your meat. And you want to show somebody.

Because I would be thinking anytime you wanted to release, there's just a woman waiting. If you're Drake. Yeah. So he was showing who? We have a Louis C.K. situation here? No, no. He was on a phone, but somebody recorded him just working it.

So someone else is in the room. Yeah, I couldn't really tell where they were, like if it was a window situation or if they were in the room and he didn't know. Now we have an Aaron Andrews situation. This could get Drake on Dancing with the Stars. Maybe. I'm going to tell you what. It'll be famous.

It could get him somewhere because slinging rope. Really? Yeah. Not fair. That isn't fair. Yeah, he's all talented. And that's why people are mad. Not because he leaked it or someone leaked it.

It's just like he's got it all. Shouldn't you be? Yeah, the talented musician should look like Randy Johnson and have a tiny wiener. They shouldn't be like Troy Aikman. The Strokes honestly looks tiresome. It's too much? Yeah. He's having to go so far up and so far down that I was like, oof.

Well, maybe that's why he's so hot, too, so that he can actually get ladies. Yeah. Because he doesn't want to have to do that all the time. But it is. We have to. It does feel good, though, to know that the most famous male artist in the world that everybody regards as extremely sexy is still just...

And the worst part about it, too, is he's wearing a hoodie. That's beaten, right? That's the worst part? I'm just saying if you find yourself in a hotel room, it's like maybe late at night. You're just like, I want to go to sleep, something like that. But he's just broad daylight, and he's got his hoodie on, and his pants are just like kind of at his ankles. Like it's really beaten looking. Doesn't that seem beaten to you?

Yeah. Like that seems like. Like he really didn't have time for it. It feels like you didn't... Exactly. Like this had to happen right now, which is not a good place to be. Yeah.

I'm feeling them, though. Sometimes you're in a hotel and it's kind of like, oh, I'm in a new area. I got to... Right away? I got to do this now. Right away.

I got to make this mine. This is my domain. Yeah. Maybe you're marking your territory. Now I'm here. And then once you're done, you realize how... This is my domain. Yeah, maybe you're marking your territory. Sure. And then, once you're done, you realize how, oh my gosh. What did I just do?

Yeah, and you're all... In your new room. Yeah, you're like feeling bad, and then you're like, wait, how many other people have done that right here? And then you're like, but I'm Drake, so should I really be doing this at all? That's got to be a weird feeling.

Well, you don't want to have to deal with all the other stuff that comes with it if you have to get an actual human there. That's true. But I imagine if you're Drake, you have an NDA, and you just slap over a briefcase and say, be gone. What did Grego always say about the prostitute? I don't recall. You don't pay him to F you.

You pay him to leave. Okay. Yeah. All right. Because you can get anyone to F you. I thought you were going to go with the Grego. The hottest woman you've ever seen, someone's tired of her. Yeah.

That's true. Sad. Sad, but true. But true. Probably goes for dudes, too. The great Michael Copeland is here as well. Sad but true. Probably goes for dudes too. The great Michael Copeland is here as well. He's here. He's video man for today.

And are we able to put the video elsewhere or is it locked onto us? Can we at least get a picture? Because our other great video man is here as well who shall remain nameless you got it look at that guy okay look at this what the fuck

what is happening here do you think he came here for us he's wearing some kind of uh sunglasses that look like, is it Geordi on Star Trek The Next Generation? I was going to go with like a reading rainbow guy. Who's that? No. No. Are you mistaking one black guy for another? Because I think I'm talking about a black guy who was on Star Trek The Next Generation.

Yeah, for sure. You are mistaking him because you – I know that they look different. Okay. But anyway, he's got these sunglasses. Yeah, LeVar Burton. Also in Reading Rainbow, so don't you do that to me. Was that him? Yes.

He's Geordi? I don't know. Oh, okay. All right, Reading Rainbow guy. Great job, Jake. Thank you. You can definitely identify certain people. Great job, Jake. Thank you. You can definitely identify certain people. I am completely unracist right now.

Right. Right now. And yes, it has LED dumb zone going across as he walks around with his sunglasses. It's insane. Insane, disturbing, and awesome. You've got some pizza crumbs over there I might be interested in. Yeah, Cane Rosso, known for their pizza.

This is a place where I'm pretty sure I could do three. Okay, well, I'll bet you Jay would like to see that, and he'd like to see it right now. In fact, I think we just passed the anniversary of that. It was yesterday. Was it yesterday? Yeah. Okay, where Jake, the failed pizza challenge where he ended up on the floor of a studio puking and then

just kind of passed out. You know, Sunday is the anniversary of our first official show together, Jake. How sweet. Isn't it nice? Yeah, my whole bit is just kind of like being wrong about everything and then confidently acting as if that could never

be the case, including Rip Taylor is in Jackass. Not Rip Torn. Rip Taylor, guest in studio when I worked in Dayton. And I believe I actually said, hey, don't question me on Jackass. You did. I believe that's kind of an attitude we get from you a lot, whatever you say.

The thing is, you guys are like merely on the edge of the dumb zone. I was born in it. Yeah. I am it. I am the dumb zone. Yeah, that's another. Now he's going to tell us that's a Superman quote and yell at us. Giving people the talking to business guy about your show name as well.

It's called the DZ. It's the DZ. Yeah, yesterday dedicated to business. In fact, I'm wearing the same business jeans. Gross. Which I believe. Gross. You can wear jeans a couple days.

You probably farted in them. I have not. Did you throw them in the dryer at least? I just want you to know that business jeans say... No farting? No. When people see me walk in with my business jeans, they say,

okay, he's not too aggressive, but I got to take that guy seriously. Is that what they're saying? Yeah. I'm not afraid of him, but I'm also a little like, okay, I know we're here for business. We're not here just to goof around. Right, because you have jeans on. I'm not there to grab at.

Well, no, it's the business jeans, though. These are a little darker than some of my other jeans. There's no rips. There's no... Rips? Yeah. You currently possess jeans with rips in them. Well, I don't know. There's no rips. There's no... Rips? Yeah. You currently possess jeans with rips in them. Well, I don't know.

You know. Hip guy. Hip guy? Yeah, me. I'm a hip... A pair of sudders? Yeah, I'm a guy that people are looking for for fashion tips. Is that your remote shirt? You did wear it a couple weeks ago. It turns out to be, yeah.

This is my Deuce robinson's grandpa uh carrie i like to call him yeah sent this to us i like the fact that and i think blake probably fits in this as well and maybe it just makes me a lame-o just absolutely you've never had any concern for like color coordination at all do I look really bad right now? No. What's going on? No, this is not the worst, but I've seen you wear a green hat with a Clemson sweater. Yeah, I've been... And blue shoes.

Well, believe me... What is happening over there? With my daughters, I'm very well aware that I don't match up. You're definitely watching... The Clemson jacket doesn't fit with anything. That's the problem. That's definitely true. The thing's purple, and I'll wear that in my, yeah, the green hat,

and so all of a sudden I'm the bad guy. Well, business genes and that color coordination don't go together. You want to look like you've got it all put together. Like me. Yeah, you do look like you've got it all put together. When I see a shirt, I think, what shoes? Yeah. Well, I think I'll wear the one pair of shoes that I wear every single day.

Yeah. Do you guys hate my shoes also? Like, what do you guys talk about me behind my back? It's really just your clothes. And the way you eat apples. The way I eat apples? Yeah, you have no concern for anyone else in the room

when you go to town. Go on. Yeah, we talk about that a little bit. How so? What do I do? It's just fucking loud. It is?

Yeah. I can't believe we're telling him this. We should not have done this. You started it. I know. When I'm not on a headset, I have your back.

I know, but he said, like, what else? And it's the first thing that came to mind. So you're saying not on a headset? He said what else? I had your back. I know, but he said, like, what else? And it's the first thing that came to mind. So you're saying not on a headset, just loud anywhere. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Like a horse.

You are talking to the two guys on the other side of the spectrum who will leave the room to eat. That's the thing. I want to know how to improve my social game. We're probably not, like, the normal judges of this. Because, yeah, like, Blake and I don't like anybody to see us or hear us eat. Okay, but I'd like people to direct me. You're like a pig in slop.

I mean, I don't want to hear that, but my best friends can't tell me how to improve my life and make me more palatable to the masses. Had you not brought that up in a comedic vein, I would never have said anything. That said, I thought you were making fun of me because I cut them and I'll eat them with a toothpick. No, I understand that part. Yeah, I get that.

I don't want to get my hands sticky. Okay. A little apple. When Kanye Rosa brings a honey bastard over here, I'll take it into the stall to eat. Yeah. Just so no one will see me. Yeah. That's right, because I was talking to Adam the other day about what Blake likes to eat. Yeah. Just so no one will see me. Yeah. That's right, because I was talking to Adam

the other day about what, you know, Blake likes to eat, and I'm like, I don't think he's going to eat anything at the Super Bowl party. I'll take the leftovers home. Whereas I'll take a huge plate and sit right there on camera

and be like, yeah. Yeah, we're aware. We know. I need my energy. You know, we get it. Blood sugar. Sure. Yeah, yeah.

You don't want me passing out or walking out. What are you passing out? All right, so on today's program, we do have some things planned, kind of, right? I've got some viewer mail. We've got some news today in history. Oh, Jake, the other day, promised something he didn't give us, so I'm going to say he could stick his random NFL notes right up his ass because I have a few of my own now.

Jeez. How about that? It wasn't really a competition. It wasn't? I actually have NFL notes right this very second. I'm super happy for you. That I want to get into. And we can go back and forth. Since you said you had random NFL notes.

But it's award season. It is. One, Tony Romo will be awarded an award. The Pat Summerall Award. The 2024 Pat Summerall Award. To celebrate Romo's success in the NFL with the Dallas Cowboys and his broadcasting

career with CBS Sports. Which began in 2017. Past winners include Tony Dungy, Aaron Andrews, and Howie Long. Howie Long won it last year. Howie Long.

Is he alive? Howie Long is on Fox NFL Sunday every single week. He's still alive? Okay. Yes. How old do you think he is? I don't know. I think he was on Fox NFL Sunday 20 years ago. He's not that old.

He looks great. He's 64 that old. He looks great. He's 64. Okay. Acting like he's Donald Sterling or something. No one's ever lived that long. So anyway, I thought I would have some fun, and I would read an excerpt about... Howie Longstar of a Firestorm,

which is a high-teen movie that I enjoy quite a bit. I was going to do a dirty media trick. Read an excerpt about Pat Summerall's liver transplant because of all the years of boozing he did. You know? Yeah. And I used to think it'd be cool to get a liver transplant. I think Bob got mad at me because when that first came down,

I said, now he can start drinking again because he had quit drinking. Yeah, that's a good point. And then I thought it was a great point. Yeah. Thank you. Hit the reset. Summerall actually played football. I didn't know about his real – I knew he was a player.

That's all I know. He played for the Razorbacks from 1949 to 1951. Okay. 1949 to 1951. Okay. This is five years, I guess, he started after Jerry Jones was the co-captain

of the Arkansas National Championship Razorback team. So Summerall was younger than Jerry? Apparently so. Wow. Would not have thought that. Um... So, his name is George Allen Sumrall. That feels like cheating.

Did you know that? I did not. And the urban legend was his nickname was Pat because he was a kicker. And that was the abbreviation for point after touchdown. That's pretty cool.

But actually, Pat said after his parents divorced, he was taken in by an aunt and uncle who had a son named Mike. My aunt and uncle just started calling me Pat to go with their Mike, referencing frequently named characters in Irish jokes told during that time.

That's really weird. I got no idea. I just thought that's a fun fact That now you can share At your Super Bowl parties this weekend I saw someone the other day post a clip Of Madden and Summerall and they were like This is the only booth where the guy who's

Hammer drunk sounds sober and the guy who's Sober sounds hammer drunk That's funny You listen to Madden and you're like Dude what? Pills or what? And some are all just always seem straight-faced. Just so stoic. Yeah.

So stoic. Legend. Legend. The Associated Press Comeback Player of the Year Award will be awarded later today. So keep your eye on that. Unless it's already out there. I mean, come on. We've known since last year.

Well, apparently NFL on Fox has their own voting for the yearly awards. And theirs is voted on by fans. The AP Comeback Player of the Year will be voted on by the media. And the media, we know, you're woke. You're trying to shape our minds in certain ways, you're, you know.

You're anti-dying. You had DeMar Hamlin penciled in as of last year, and you weren't even going to pay attention to anything that's happened on the field this year. Doesn't matter if Baker makes the playoffs. But do you have some stats there you want to read us? On what? A certain quarterback from the

NFC South, maybe? Well, I mean, I could read some stats for who will be the winner. Oh, DeMar Halen? Which looks very, you know, what would you say? Tony Snell?

Tony Snell. Stats? Club drill? Yeah. He did have that one fake punt that... Blew up? Didn't work out so well. Yeah, he has a terrible...

Anyway, Baker won the fan voting. Of course. Oh. Baker Mayfield is the NFL on Fox Comeback Player of the Year. And now, he set that up on his mantle right next to... And I know you guys weren't going to mention this

because I'm the one who has to do everything around here, the Pro Bowl Most Valuable Offensive Player Award. What a guy. What an award. He won that this past weekend. Yeah. Yeah, playing flag football. Playing flag football.

The final score. Which is what he's going to be doing in two years. They won 64-59, which seems like a score-a-gami. But the final score is determined by combining points from the game with those accumulated by each conference over two days of skills challenges. Kill me. That's where we're at. You know, I saw somebody the other day, and, like,

you really can't argue with it based on the Danny Dimes test. He's going to get 40 a year. Baker? The guaranteed money won't be there. No, it won't. Much like with Daniel Jones. They're probably

going to pay him $42 million a year. A year removed from being cut by the Panthers midseason. If that's not the comeback player of the year, I really don't know what it is. Well, he didn't die. Again, did DeMar Hamlin, like, die? I mean, or was he, like, on death's doorstep?

It's like, cue a Dan. Yeah, I mean, or is that even him? That's right, yeah? That's right. Yeah, that's right. I saw he met LeBron the other night. DeMar Hamlin did? Yeah. That's awesome.

You know, you mock him until Jerry signs him in a couple years. You know, you mock it. We had a reality TV show to sign a player. Yeah. We don't talk about this enough. We should go back and watch the whole thing. You tired? You weak?

So I... You know it was hosted by Irvin, right? I watched every episode of it. I was locked in. Okay. It was great. Oh, yeah. It was so good.

Yeah. I couldn't believe it. I really wish they'd do it again. The Pro Bowl also, at least on my social media feed, was earmarked by a resurgence. He's back. Aiden Diggs. Ugh. And I have to wonder, didn't Trayvon get hurt like in week two?

Why is Aiden Diggs at the Pro Bowl? His uncle's there. We're getting over Aiden again. He's still cute. I don't know why you worry so much about it. I just feel like we're really going to not like him when he becomes a smart-mouthed teenager. Because it's all cute now.

I don't think you like any kid when they become a teenager, though. That's true. Are there any that you're like, solid hang? Brawny. Yeah, Brawny's pretty sweet. Dude, their team is getting wrecked. Have you seen them? What do you mean?

USC basketball. He will not be there next year. What do you mean they're getting wrecked? They're bad. Well, I thought he's going into the draft next year. You think one year? I mean, I guess he could, but... I'm already seeing things like,

should the Knicks draft Brawny to be able to lure LeBron? Yeah. And you know who I want to draft, Brownie. Cuban drafted an Indian guy because he was seven feet tall, and they thought they could break into the Indian market. That guy's a wrestler now. Isn't the only reason he drafted Nahara was because of their strong Hispanic base? I believe so, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Maybe he should draft like a trans person. Just tap into all the markets, you know? You know that's a good idea. You guys can... I absolutely do.

No, I'm not against it. What's next? Is he going to draft a toaster? Does that fit? Whoa. Oh, wait. I do have one more NFL note. Oh, my gosh.

Every conversation with parents. What are you going to do? Are you going to bury the laundry machine? Actually, I've got a couple more. Sorry. I was going to throw it to you for your NFL notes. They're really stale. Kind of cucked me here.

Taylor Swift. Yeah. I have thoughts. Do you know that Taylor was born on the 13th of December? Oh, my God. Is he doing the Ice Cube Junior bit? She turned 13 on Friday the 13th. Her first album went gold in the U.S. in 13 weeks.

She won her 13th Grammy. Well, the second one is redundant. If she was born on the 13th, of course she's going to eventually turn 13 on the 13th. That's how that works. That's stupid. Next. This is true. Would it have to be a Friday, though?

It would probably have to be. That's like a one in seven shot I'm looking at. Only chance is you're born in like leap year, right? I don't know. Okay. Well, sorry. Super Bowl 58 is what's being played. Five plus eight.

Yeah, 13. She's been to 12 Chiefs games this year. Super Bowl will be? 13th. The Niners are the one seed. Chiefs were the three seed. Chiefs versus 49ers. Let's see, four plus nine in the 49ers.

The game will be on 2-11. What if we add those? Let's see, 4 plus 9 in the 49ers. The game will be on 2-11. What if we add those? 2-11? Yeah. February 11th. Oh, okay. What were you thinking? A common way we...

Channel? I don't know. You've heard of 9-11? Do you know when that was? What month? Yeah. 100% minus 13% equals 87% What number does Travis Kelsey wear? What does that even mean? Well, she is really into 13

He's 87 You add them together, they complete each other 100 is the complete number? Yes The complete number of 100%. I guess. Would you not agree that there is no bigger, actually, than 100% of something?

Yeah, that is full. You can give 110% sometimes. That's what I do. That's impossible, actually. The quarterback of the opposing team wears number? 13. 13. That's Brock Purdy.

And she's flying from Tokyo to Vegas which is a 12 and a half hour flight but then you got to go through customs and then oh my god it'll be 13 thank you thank you no one's clapping don't clap nobody clap nobody clap you know I think it's it's weird it's kind of been like this like yo-yo of public backlash or support for the whole Taylor Swift thing. And I think, you know, because now it's like if you're like, I wish that they would not make this whole game broadcast about her. People are like, what are you, a misogynist? That's right.

That's what I say. So that's where it goes to now is like, oh, you can't handle a – You don't like strong woman? Yeah, and like I don't like her music. I don't really personally like her media personality all that much. But I get it though. When dudes are just complaining about it, it's really just that I think a lot of America, like dads, every single time they take their kid to school, every single time they drive their kid home,

for most of the time in the home, they're just inundated with Taylor Swift. Like how many 44-year-old dudes? Now the one escape I had was football. And it was kind of like this one thing where I was like, I just don't want to hear about or see about this. And now it's there. So I don't even think people are upset with her.

She seems like a great person. I just don't like her whole vibe as a media personality. See, I don't judge someone on that. I judge them on their looks. Yeah, well, then I would judge her negatively. Yeah, quite negatively. Needs a burger. Or ten.

Or a pizza. Well, if you want her to gain weight, you should hope she gets married. Hey! Alright! Get it? That's a little marriage joke. Yeah, I like that. Get your wife. T want to gain weight, just hope she gets married. Hey! All right. Get it? That's a little marriage joke. Yeah, I like that. Get your wife.

Tries to lose weight. But I do think that's what it is. It's just like dads are like, all right, I took you to the concert. We listen to it every single day on every car ride we take. Can I just have like a moment? That's all every dad wants. That's why sometimes you'll just go sit in the toilet for 10 minutes. You're like, I don't have to go to the bathroom.

I just want everybody to shut up. Do you wonder if other pop stars, like is Miley Cyrus looking over rosters? Or let's say her agent or manager. Like an undrafted free agent trying to figure out where they could possibly make the team? Well, like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, what's my best, you know, what's the best chance here? You know, I'm going to look at a few franchises.

Like Jessica Simpson thought maybe this is the right guy to ride to the top. And she, as it were, she ended up with like a backup Chiefs tight end from 10 years ago, right? You read the book. Jessica Simpson? Yeah. Well, no, she, of course, ended up with Tony Romo. No, I'm saying after, like the guy she ended up marrying. Oh, really?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I don't know. Did I, was that in the book? I don't remember she ended up marrying. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I don't know. Did I, was that in the book? I don't remember. I believe so. Oh, okay. Yeah. I didn't know he was a backup Chiefs tight end.

He was something. Maybe a special teamer or something. Because have you wondered, like, do, I think I've even heard. I think she married Nick Lachey. No, that was like 25 years ago, you idiot. I think I've heard that like you know, the groupies or whatever, girls trying to nail minor league players are well aware of their prospect

ranking. They've pulled up the prospectus? Yeah. That would make sense. Yeah. That would make sense. Yeah, I wonder. I think for the most part though, like those people scout within the entertainment industry. Like you ever hear about, I can't even remember somebody recently I heard this about, but like you'll just tell your guy, like, hey, call their guy.

I saw them in magazine or on TV and it's like, hey, can you call them? What do you mean? So I want to, if I'm a famous person, I would say. Another famous person, you just like have your guy call their guy. Call Miley Cyrus' guy and see if, you know, it's kind of like, is that like telling your friend, hey, go tell her. My friend thinks you're cute? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, pretty much, except for famous people. And then they could just say, not interested. Yeah. But I think that's kind of how famous people dating works. Wouldn't you love to know all the not interesteds? There's got to be more than interesteds. Yeah. Like, I'm not into that.

Yeah. Take another shot. So one NFL story that I have for you is there are a number of gambling-related stories that have been popping up. You know, the other day, I think it might have even been on Fox before a game, they did a profile on the defensive back who was, I believe at the time, with the Lions who did like a 10-leg parlay and had to sit out a year. Who did like a 10-leg parlay and had to sit out a year.

Might be with Seattle now, but... The latest one is there was a Jaguars financial employee. Like he worked in the finance side of the organization. And he scammed the organization out of about $20 million with a credit card scheme. And he bet all of it on FanDuel and lost all of it. Oh, my God. You can bet that? I guess you can if you're a loser.

And it was over time, but ultimately some of the bets that he placed triggered their warnings. And they told the league, the league tells the Jaguars, and they're like, all right, this guy's fired. And now the Jaguars are like, we want our money back. So at first they were just firing because of that and then actually found out that he was stealing the money somehow? Well, no.

I mean, yeah, I think it all happened at once. It was a virtual credit card system that the Jaguars used for expenses. Okay. So he took like, he had access to a team expense account. Well, this is like Blake with our company. You got to worry about it. Yeah. You got to.

And this guy just like lost. Because you know what the gambler does? He's like, you know what? I'll get it back. I'll win it. I need one win. Yeah, if I win, I'll just take what's off the top. I'm not stealing at all.

So this guy faces 30 years in prison for 20. I mean, it's $20 million. But that's the thing, though, is that the Jackalars went to FanDuel and one other, maybe it was my bookie. He only lost like a million on that one. FanDuel and Giraffe Kings. And the Jaguars went to them and they're like, that's stolen money. Like, we need it back. And they're like, what the fuck?

Oh, like Giraffe Kings is like, we're not giving it back to you. No. Yeah. One veteran Daily Fantasy player, this is from an ESPN article, one Daily Fantasy player is a veteran, told ESPN on condition of anonymity that they believe Parley Picker, which was his handle, is, quote, the biggest loser ever on FanDuel. Quote, he was legendarily bad.

on FanDuel. Quote, he was legendarily bad. Coworkers assumed that he had family wealth because he would see that they saw him taking lavish trips, clubs,

nightclubs, and abortions. So much for inside information helping you. You would think, yeah. That's like Blake losing his fantasy football league. Yeah, I thought you were a sports guy.

Yeah, you're working sports. Okay, Le'Veon Bell held out. He wanted a new deal. I didn't know that. Still, I mean, losing the whole, like, 12th out of 12, that's... It happens to a lot of people. Well, it really only happens to one every year. Yeah, you.

Well, I just got lucky it happened in back-to-back years. That is lucky. All right, and then the other thing I had for you, I want you to listen to Greg Olson because this is a very weird situation. I'm not sure that I've ever seen one like it, and maybe that's where you can provide me with a little bit of historical perspective as an old man. Just the fact that for two years Greg Olson has done, you're going to get replaced.

It honestly doesn't matter how good of a job you do. Because I think he's done a great job. I think overall, I really warmed up to the idea that the big game is going to be KB, Greg, EA. Did you buffer on purpose?

No, I was trying to think of the nickname in the commercial that they call Tom Rinaldi. Doesn't he have a name? Teabag. The Teabag in EA. But he's just known. And for a little bit, there was some speculation because Brady was going to go last year, and he didn't. And it was like, okay, well, maybe he's not going to go at all. Because

the deal was that they were paying him $25 million a year. Which is insane, even by the Romo standards. So Greg Olson was on with Dan Patrick. We can stop and start this as you like. But now he's being asked a very uncomfortable question because last week, Brady

came out and was like, I'm going next year and I've already done some practice games with KB. Hmm. Oh, wow. So, like, it's happening. Okay. That's going to be the Fox number one crew next year. Yeah. Given your situation at Fox now as a broadcaster,

what do you want to do moving forward? I want to call top games. You know, Dan, I feel, you know, two years ago when everything unfolded and, you know, obviously I've known Tom was coming for, you know, over, you know, two years, year and a half, whatever you want to call it. And, you know, that part of it, we always knew it was a matter of when we didn't know exactly when the timeline, you know, ended up not coming this past season, which gave me a second year with Kevin in the booth with the A team. But, you know, going forward, my goals haven't changed.

My goals when I started out calling games with Fox, you know, three years ago was I aspired to be a top broadcaster. I really thought I could do it. I thought if given the opportunity and the chance, I could show people that I could do it. And I got the opportunity and Fox was kind enough to give me that. And I think over the last two years, we've really changed the narrative. people that I could do it and I got the opportunity and Fox was kind enough to give me that and I think over the last two years we've really changed the narrative I think we've changed where hey this is just the placeholder this is a guy to being like no this this guy can do it so my my goals and aspirations if anything have even gotten more committed to I want to call top games I want to

call games in front of 57 million people and and dive into the biggest moments and why it's happening. And I feel like we've done as good a job as that as anybody in the industry over the last couple of seasons. And where that is, how that is, when that is, I don't know, right? There's so many moving parts out of my control. But my goal is to be a top A broadcaster again. And I'm going to do everything in my power to achieve that. And that's been the goal that I've laid out since I entered this field upon retirement three years ago.

It was a little bit more, but doesn't he sound sad? Yeah. I mean, I would say sometimes even if you're very successful at the job that you do, your bosses for some reason say, well, we can do it without you. That does happen from time to time, yes. That is true. And, you know, I have less sympathy when you probably have enough money in the bank. And look, he's really popular and everybody thinks he's good. Yeah. You know, something's going to work out.

Maybe it's that Brady fails. Because, you know, that's always, that's dicey to try and figure out. You know, you might be at a dinner party and Jason Witten is wowing you. And it's, oh, my God, this guy, the stuff he knows about football and blah, blah, blah. And he's a cowboy. This is going to be great. Let's just throw him right on there. Can I say something real quick?

Yeah. There's a guy out on the fake practice field in front of the star right now playing catch. He's wearing jeans and he has receiver gloves on. He better not be dropping anything. guy the deck jersey you can see that's awesome black nike gloves on um but yeah is he alone and just throwing it up and down to him somebody threw it to him a minute ago but he has a very divorced child yeah yeah yeah gotta break them gloves in yeah Yeah. Somehow, someway. No, the thing I wonder about as you make the Witten-Brady comparison is, like, Witten was not a big enough deal to, like, be Teflon.

I wonder who's going to tell Tom Brady, like, yo, you kind of – you had a bad year. The internet will. Yeah, but, I mean, the internet's been saying that about Romo. Yeah. And they like him. Yeah, but people have tried to help Romo. CBS executives. Yeah, that's been reported.

But I just wonder who's going to do that to Tom Brady. Like, he's a deity. Yeah, I just think it's also very weird. I don't think he's going to be good, by the way. Brady? Yeah. I heard some clips from him a couple weeks ago where he was talking ball, and that gave me a little bit of encouragement.

But overall, I just think he's a robot. Yeah, I wonder because Troy Aikman, as a player, was thought of as a robot. Yeah, I wonder because Troy Aikman as a player was thought of as a robot. Yeah, for sure. And I think very poor prognostications for his future in broadcasting, like this guy. And then he's been great. And, of course, he started differently, as you know, not without the number one tag on him and everybody watching him.

That's what I was going to say is that Troy also took, like, the podcast road of, I was going to say, is that Troy also took the podcast road of, I'm going to go to Europe. Yeah, but Troy also has Joe Buck, who's cool. KB is just a guy. Yeah, but Troy started, okay, so you say he started in Europe. I forgot about that.

He did Europe, and then he did Collinsworth and Buck. Then, yeah, joined Collinsworth and Buck, so he's the third guy in there. Yeah. They had to figure that kind of thing out. That's a little different than here's 16 games of the biggest game of the year, or of the week anyways, with no experience at all. And I don't know.

I don't know what happens to Greg Olson. Did they just find him another? I've come to really like him. Not just because he provides a lot of content for the show. I wonder if Amazon can swoop in and try and get him or... Man, I would hope that they would. I'm sure Herbie has like a long-term contract. But that could not work.

What do you mean? Herbie. Yeah. The Herbie thing is a disaster. Herbie's got to get out. Yeah. It's terrible. Like Greg Olson and Al Michaels?

I could do that. Yeah, I'd like to see that. And do you call that one of the biggest games of the week? They're getting better games now. And, you know, we never did this story, but their numbers this year were up tremendously. No, I'm sorry. I was going to say, pretty much the only NFL broadcast this year that was flat was Fox NFL Sunday,

and it was because they already are the most watched program in America. Every other NFL program this year went up. Amazon went up like 50%. Really? So they're going to keep building, for sure. So they're not taking streaming away from us? Because I'll never pay for a game. I feel like, I don't know, I'm trying to be.

He's trying to be anti-peacock guy from a couple weeks ago. I mean, Summerall, to me, he's more, because Al Michaels would get criticized for a non-excited calls or whatever. Well, and then when you have Herbie, it just doubles it down. Whereas Summerall was non-excited, but then you had Madden. Like, that kind of fit together. And I think Greg Olsen could fit with Al Michaels. I agree.

He gets very excited. But, yeah, the combination of Al and Herbie, it feels like opium. I was like, that's an 80-yard punt return. You got nothing for me? Like, do you just hate, would KB be good with Romo? That'd be better. That would definitely be better. Yeah, well, anything would be better than Nance and Romo.

I don't know, KB tries really hard. And maybe that would work with Romo, they could both be kooky. I don't know. KB tries really hard. And maybe that would work with Romo. They could both be kooky. KB's got to have a weird, you know, mental state about the whole thing because he's the one guy that, like, he kind of just got elevated and no one's like, ah, he's great. Yeah.

But they're like, oh, yeah, Greg Olson, he's great. Guys you're with. I listened to him. Brian Curtis of The Ringer interviewed him about six months ago, and he was extremely uncomfortable with the topic. Of? Of Greg Olson and Tom Brady. Not specifically what you're talking about, but.

Yeah, imagine that. If he's actually doing practice games with Tom Brady, and then, like, he's doing that on Friday, and then he goes and hangs out with Greg Olson. And every road trip they took this year when they're out to dinner, they're out for beers, like Greg knows what's happening. That's super, super weird, man. Yeah.

That's the NFL notes I had for you. All right. It's time for a dumb zone. That's just for Blake. Thank you. To be able to mark the time. I guess on podcasts now, the audio podcast we put out, we now have chapters according to Blake.

What does that mean? Like a book? I don't even know. Well, yeah, we've learned that listening to something is reading. Just leave Josh alone. No, Josh is reading a book right now. The guy is blind. I know, and he's reading a sports article right now.

I think the chapters look cool. Hey, by the way, can I say something real quick cleaning up from Haralabob the other day and why I was so confused? What were you confused about? You asked him about cryogenics.

Oh. And I think you meant cryonics. I just mean, I meant like getting frozen when you die and stuff. That's not cryogenic. Did I ask the wrong question? Am I right here? Yeah.

You're right. So you want to correct me, not you. I thought you were asking him, like, what do you think about cold therapy? Right. Oh, no, because I just figured. Cryogenics is just the process of getting in a cold tub. I listened to a ton of interviews with him leading up to that, and he just emitted a vibe of a guy

that might want to figure out how to live forever. Okay, well, while cryogenics can help your health... And that's what I thought I was asking. Cryonics are the process of freezing yourself, like Ted Williams style. Cryogenics is like what you've done, like go do cryo. Oh.

Yeah, so I was like, what the fuck? I was wondering why he was getting into anti-aging stuff. He sounded like he was not real. And look, when I'm out there doing an interview sometimes, I'm a volume shooter. Yeah, no doubt.

Let's see what comes. You can sometimes get something good. I don't blame you, but I think I actually said, why would you ask about that? Because I was confused. Okay. It's just getting cold, and it helps your blood and your...

Okay, well, yeah, no. I wonder if he was also confused. I think so. Yeah. I think so. All right. I just wanted to make sure we cleared that up. It is cool to clear stuff up.

Yeah, for sure. And just wanted to make sure we cleared that up. It is cool to clear stuff up. Yeah, for sure. And that helps me for the future. Do you want another? Okay. Let's slide into another sports note. Are you starving now? You ready for food? We'll wait.

Okay, let's wait just a little bit. Let's do some viewer mail and birthdays. Okay. Because I do have a couple myself. I'll do birthdays to start because we missed yesterday. We have a couple holdovers. Dan, I'd like to get a shout-out to my beautiful wife and day four DF. Okay.

Hannah O'Gorman. On her Adrian Beltre birthday. What? Her Adrienne Beltre birthday. 29. There's no way she's 29. Adrienne Beltre and holding. No way she's 29.

No. It's a, yeah. We met this guy. He was in the den. No. Yeah. We met this guy. He was in the den. Yeah, he's like 40-something. I thought he was a young guy. What, a 40-year-old can't date a 29-year-old? Not.

Or marry? That would be weird. That would not be weird. When did they get married? That is a good question. Leaders, how you pronounce our last name and hearing Dan's healthy routine and eating habits, then giving me a look to let me know I could be doing better.

From Robert O'Gorman, who signs off, P.S., give it to Rathman. Yeah. One of those offenses. February 7th is my Bill Romanowski birthday. 53? 53. 53. He says, Jesus, tough day.

Next year I get a manster birthday. Let's see. My leaders are Jake's Lake Neighbor, who told him there was a filthy threesome occurring on his dock. Blake and Chappy's terrible pics. Drop request, Blake's dating app rules. Subscriber number 1367, day two, Matt Armstrong. Okay. There we go.

I'm surprised you knew Bill Romanowski's number. Do we not? I don't want to tell you why I know it. You'd think because he was like a really good NFL player. Really, he was a really good linebacker in the movie The Longest Yard. With Adam Sandler. Right. Yeah.

And he wore number 53 in that movie. Not the Burt Reynolds one. Okay. I like it. I thought you didn't watch any movies from people from SNL. No, I said Adam Sandler is the exception. I watch Happy Gilmore. Yeah. Thespian.

In The Longest Yard. Interesting. We do need your dating app rules cut off. No, I said Adam Sandler is the exception. I watch Happy Gilmore. Yeah, Vespian. In The Longest Yard. Interesting. We do need your dating app rules cut off so I can play it anytime we need it. It's in there. Fat. Whoa. It says it's in there.

Why aren't we playing it right now then? Just read another birthday. Mr. Just sit back and just look at things. Just read another birthday. I'd like to wish my DZ listener twins, Nora and Everett, a happy eighth birthday. I'd like to wish my DZ listener twins, Nora and Everett, a happy eighth birthday. Thanks to Jake,

I had to explain why one person would poop on another person's head from David. I think that's my fault. I think Jake wanted to avoid that part of the story. It happens, man. Happy birthday to my brother and D.F. Chris.

But I am interested in your explanation of that. Let me see when two people love each other. The most. First, they eat peanuts. Oh, God. Chris, D.F. Chris is turning 30. He is the guy who sent the request for Blake to mash up Dax. Here we Chris, DF Chris, is turning 30. He is the guy who sent the request for Blake to mash up Dax. Here we go, Cadence, with Mysticals.

Here I go. Because he is self-described as not good at computers. He really wanted credit for that one? Oh. Was that bad? I mean, it was fine. I did it for him. I didn't think it was a roaring success, but go ahead.

Chris was in two car accidents on the same day recently. He got rear-ended, so his buddy picked him up to drive home. On their way back, they were T-boned. You probably need to die. Right? That guy? Like, at that point, you're like, all right. Maybe he's unbreakable.

Maybe he's the guy you should go on a flight with. Lift canes of paint? What? We don't want to lose a subscriber. Well, his credit card would probably continue for at least a month. Yeah. Yeah, what does happen to that? I don't know.

That's why we should start getting annual. Yeah. So that we can get someone locked in and we'd have you for the rest of the year. Do you want these dating tips? You know what we need to figure out is how to sign somebody up for an annual but every month it gets a renewal for a month

so that it never ends being an annual. Kind of like a Jimbo Fisher. I think what you're talking about is embezzlement. Fraud, basically. How long is it? 27 seconds. Go for it. Anything from collarbones up, fat.

Jeez. If her first picture is a group photo, she's the ugly one. Oh, if it's a far away picture, like she's doing something like, look at me, I'm shooting a gun or something, she's ugly. Because hot girls will show off. So yeah, big sunglasses. That's a doe. You know what's under there.

A little bit of backlash, but a lot of support for that. Yeah, I saw nothing negative about it. Well, it wouldn't go to you. So Nick also writes for his brother Chris, If people with cancer get make-a-wishes, a birthday wish from Uncle Hotmail seems like an appropriate consolation for a guy that was in back-to-back car crashes. Thank you, Jake, for your brother's service.

You're welcome. No puppet from Nick. Bro, somebody's got to go throw this kid a football. Oh, no, he's still out there. He's just tossing it up and down to himself. Yeah. Super sad scene, little latchkey kid. As a latchkey kid, I'm very familiar with.

And he's looking at the other kids. Throwing the ball up into a tree. He's looking at the two kids who have a dad out there throwing the ball like, oh, I wish that were me. Oh, man. That is a depressing scene. He literally just threw it up to himself. He's got the nicest brand of cutters on.

Oh, geez. That is a tough scene right there. Do you have any more birthdays, or should I slide in? I just got two more quick emails I was going to read you guys. I have one. Go for it. It's a guy that you've blocked on Twitter who asked if he subscribes to our Patreon, will you unblock him?

Yes. Nice. I'm a whore if nothing else. Okay. Send me the deets. No, the one I had was from Easton Wolf. Given the influx of 9-11 memorial bits you are receiving now, I feel like you'd appreciate this.

Apparently, there was a tree that barely survived the 9-11 attacks. Now, the 9-11 memorial at NYC sends seedlings from that tree to communities that have survived tragedy in recent years. He says, seems like a decent idea, right? Until I learned that they gave one to the World Health Organization for their COVID support in 2021. He said, is this a bit? Am I a big jerk for thinking they have to give one to an entire organization? Just more from the 9-11 file I love it

yeah we're learning so much about 9-11 and so much later than 9-11 like it's been so long like were people were people learning this much about Pearl Harbor 20 years later probably was that supposed to be like a great point?

Yeah, I thought it was. I'm surprised people are sitting and not standing, ovating. Ovating? Yeah. I've not heard that verb used that way ever. William says, Blake is pretty clearly performing the role of a director

of quantitative research and development. That should be your title. Okay. Like Bob Mulguris. Look, the kid got the other dad to throw him the football. Finally. Jeez. What are you going to do now?

Are you going to kick it? Well, he's going to practice the watermelon kick. This is going to be a problem if we're going to do remotes. This is just a really sad situation out there. I'm not commenting on the guy with the glasses who now says no puppet. Every five minutes it's something different. That's amazing. I'm just glad he found a friend.

Back to you, Dan. And then I got this from a guy named Austin. Who says, Dan and Jake. Sorry, Dan. It's fine. Tough luck, bro. It's fine. Tough luck, bro. It's okay. I'm a massage therapist.

Damn it. I want in on this. At the Massage Institute of North Texas, I'm reaching out to offer my services. I may not be as good as Gary, but I'm certainly cheaper. If you're interested, you can book a massage and then he has a variety of massages for half hour and an hour. Full body Swedish is one of them and I thought that meant...

What? It doesn't mean anything like down there playing with your thing? No. This guy's not offering to whack you off. Okay. Well, then I'm out. You just think the Swedes are just

offering that up? No. He says I'm out. You just think the Swedes are just offering that up? No. He says I'm in Highland Village on 407 in Morris. Oh. So here's the deal about this. I read this last night too and I appreciate the email. I appreciate the support.

But as I was reading it, I'm like, okay, would I let a listener give me a massage? Probably. For free. But if it's just that it's a little bit cheaper than a stranger. You think you're going stranger?

Then I'm going stranger. Like, he's cheaper, but he's not that much cheaper. It's like 15 bucks cheaper than what I pay at the place I go. But would it be weird just knowing the person? It would be weird, but it would be worth it if it were free. And I'm not asking you to do this for free, Adam. I'm just saying as I'm reading this email, I'm like, would I be okay with that? And I'm like, tell my wife about it.

Austin, excuse me. And I'm telling my wife about it or whatever, and she's like, well, that's just like $10 cheaper. Okay. It looks significantly cheaper to me. Have you all seen Gary lately? I've not I've actually never experienced Gary's touch

did I move too much Michael okay okay well those are all my emails yeah I read mine so we good okay I would like to touch

on something we mentioned a second ago okay is the story of Tony Snell I would like to touch on something we mentioned a second ago. Okay. Is the story of Tony Snell. Just his career of putting up zero production? Well, there's the Tony Snell meme, which I've recently become acquainted with because of the... Oh, the Charles Barkley thing.

Okay. Well, that's not the meme. I'm saying there's a Tony Snell meme floating around about, like, a game he had with the Bucs where he had whatever it was, zero points, like, ten zeros, and then at the end it says 28 minutes played. Like, it's apparently, like, the most non-do-anything game in NBA history.

Like, he didn't have any stat line, nothing. I think he had no fouls. He had nothing. Like, nothing happened. You would not know he was even there. But the story is that he played nine seasons in the NBA, and apparently he's kind of like putting out there that he wants to be signed for the rest of this season because that would give him a 10th season in the NBA.

Then he would be locked in as far as the collective bargaining agreement, and he would have free health care for the rest of his life. And he's saying he really needs this because he has two kids that are autistic, and whatever care they need is fairly expensive. And then you need to know two other things here. So one is that Tony Snell, in his nine years, has made $53 million over his career. And two is, while this is happening, so while his agent or whoever is putting this word out,

like it's well-known, and articles are written that this is his situation, he just needs to be on the end of a roster. He doesn't need to play. He just wants a team to sign him so that he will be eligible for this for the rest of his life, free health care. His wife on Instagram, like two days later, have you seen this? Where she is on a private jet showing everybody her uh is it called birkin bags are you familiar with this i am they're very just like louis vuitton or something it's like

okay so she's like she has like a bunch of them and she's showing off to everybody on instagram her you know she's trying to this is is her brand, this is her image. She flies private jets. She has these awesome bags, and she's just showing everybody her collection. Not just like one bag. She has like a collection. It's like Jay Leno's cars or something.

That's tough. How do we put all that together and then also say, yes, I want to be – I want to scream for Tony Snell to get signed by an NBA team so he can get free health care? Well, I mean, I think it's a little bit weird that the league has, like, these arbitrary cutoffs. Like, I feel like if you play in the NBA at all,

they could definitely pay for your health care for the rest of your life. Same with any other pro sport. I feel like, you know, because a lot of people don't make that much money, right? Like if you're an MLB player who gets an end of the roster, end of the year call up, you might end up making like 30 grand a year

for four years. You should have healthcare forever. These leagues can afford it. At the same time, I question the cohesiveness of the messaging from the Snell family. It's very much Goodfellas, right? Like, hey.

Don't be showing this off. We're trying to... Not now. Not now, yeah. We're trying to position ourselves as a little bit of an underdog. Right after the heist, you don't walk in with a new mink coat. Right. A new gold chain. That, I would have thought he would have talked to her about, and probably that did not do them any good.

But nobody was just going to sign him to sign him. I thought that Barkley thing was – it was cool that he said it, but nobody's just going to give away a roster spot for charity. Should you – Except for the Mavericks with Satnam Singh, who is now a wrestler. I mean, if you made 50 million in your career should you be asking the public for anything?

Probably not. It's very what is the baseball team lady? Alyssa Milano. Alyssa Milano. Oh her little league son's little league team. Yeah.

That's not going to go over real well. I mean I even feel weird about it when we do it. Yeah. And we don't have health care. Relatively modest. Yeah.

So, yeah, it's a bad look. And nobody signed him, by the way. So the deadline passed and he did not get signed? Maybe yesterday or the day before, yeah. NBA teams are like, that's cool, dude. Why don't you sell one of those Birkin bags, get yourself a little occupational therapy. Yeah, I guess I

just wasn't understanding even how you could support that. And then I you know, and living online you see, oh, now there's backlash against people like me who don't think who say, because you made 50 million I mean, it's still very expensive. Okay, well, that's

and then that makes me feel like I don't agree with the people who start yelling at if they say student loans will be forgiven. Like, I think that's great. Yeah. And you'll hear people, yeah, but I had to pay for mine, so blah, blah, blah. You should not get yours forgiven.

Yeah. It's interesting because I remember during slavery, there were a lot of people, a lot lot of slaves after they freed the slaves that were like you should have to be a slave too because i was one i remember that being a big part of history where people are like everything that sucked that i experienced you have to experience too yeah no no i think uh i'm with you you know things should get better and yeah for every generation, it's probably easier. And it probably should be. I suppose the Tony Snell thing, shouldn't that highlight that how come we don't?

Like how come everybody can't have free health care? Man, I don't know. But it ain't cheap. The therapy stuff for kids in that situation is, I mean, I didn't make $53 million. Haven't you alleged that it's because? What is this going to be? I didn't make 53 million dollars so haven't you alleged that it's because what is this going to be I don't know well no like

your is it Nordic countries do you have universal universal health care and everybody's like well why can't we be like that yeah because

I mean the main reason is that those countries have no diversity and so everybody looks the same yeah in general very little diversity in general you know the countries that you see succeed with more of a wide social safety net and included in that is health care are countries where everybody thinks that their neighbor is like

one of them but if you have the ultimate melting pot of america where literally 200 years ago, a lot of people were slaves. Nobody is as stoked on sharing. So it's like, wait, I'm paying for this guy, this guy, you know, inner city family that, yeah. Why, why do they deserve it? Yeah. And I, that's exactly in my opinion what it is. And then you, you know, coupling with that, like the drug companies and whatever, but

I think at the base level most people are like, yeah, I'm kind of just into people that look like me. And that's why we could never have it? I believe so. Until, unless we mix enough. Yeah, that's gonna be the key. And we get a nice

Derek Cheater looking society. We need more of your friend that signed up friend that you signed up for porno. Oh, you did that? No, I had a buddy that he signed up. He liked black guys and white girls. So I had a buddy who... Oh, you could see his watch history? Well, yeah, because he's like,

my wife looks over our credit card bill. I had a lot more scene control slash wife that doesn't pay attention to that stuff, so I don't know if it's real scene control, because if she did look at it, she'd be like, what is this? But yeah, so I would sign him up. He would pick the website.

Kind of super bad-ish. Yeah. He would pick the website. I would sign up for the porn site on my credit up. He would pick the website. Kind of super bad-ish. Yeah. He would pick the website. I would sign up for the porn site on my credit card. He would pay me, and I would also get to use that account. Well, yes, when you go into that account, you see recently watched. And I didn't want to see that because now I know he loved the bigger, the better black guys with white ladies.

It was all interracial. It was all like, it was the whole thing. Thank you, Connie Rosso. Yeah. No, it was. The last video was halfway watched. Well, then I. Well, this is the point where he.

That's where I just, I only searched missionary because then I knew, well, that's what he's going to think. I don't want him to know all the depraved stuff I really want to search here. A little red herring type situation. Yeah. Do you think if he watched... Oh, he's been...

It's still going. ...stuff like the dude in the corner watching his wife get railed or something, do you think, like, that... Does that mean that he wants that in his own life, or is that just a fantasy that you can live out? Couldn't it be both? Or could it sometimes not?

You don't want it in your own life, but you like to see it. Sure. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you guys want to do? Eat.

Eat pizza. Oh, all right. Then we will. We're going forward with blockchain com we're going forward with everything we've got we're going to be there when it says turn left we're going to turn left with them we're going to be there when it says turn right am i going to buy my cryptocurrency through blockchain com you bet i. And I want to encourage millions and millions of people to do the same thing. I know a little bit about being wise when it comes to a dollar. Now, I want you to know I've had my share of mess-ups too, and we probably are well aware of

those. But I do have some instincts. Blockchain.com is going to be the way to go in this country. And the Dallas Cowboys are going to put everything we've got behind it to make it a household work. You're listening to the dumb, the dumb, the dumb, the dumb, the dumb. Don't fuck me. What the hell was that, Anthony? Thanks, Blake. James Adams of TristateFootball.com here with Coach Ryan Kanega. Coach, you get the win, 34-27.

Not in the den. I was in Shreveport last night for the Independence Bowl. That's pretty cool, Blake. Thanks for telling us. We're just having a little fun here at Cane Rosso. Yay! Legitimately, and I think I would know. The best pizza in the city.

Jake, you couldn't take down three of these pizzas. And I'm not meaning doing that to startle you or make you mad. But this is not thin crust. It's thin enough. No, it's not. It's kind of like the middle is thinner, but the crust is the crust, is thick. So it's a combo. I feel like it's a combo, like what we're trying to do here.

Yeah, exactly. I would like to try this. I would like to try the three thins on Sunday. Oh, that's a good idea. But the problem is that I will be incapacitated, and I know you guys need my comedy. That's right. I don't know if you should bring the cat with all those people and our dogs.

Dan hates my cat. No, I just feel like you should bring the cat with just us and the dogs and just see how it goes. Yeah, but, I mean, the difference is, like, the amount of people being there would be good because he'll have stuff to do. But really, what he'll do is just sit on my lap. It doesn't matter, dude.

It doesn't matter what's going on. The cat does not like the dog. The cat just chills, man. He's my homie. What's the dog do to the cat? They have a little bit of fun together. Chasing it around and stuff? A little bit.

Yeah. Okay. And he'll sleep on her. Who has a better relationship, your dog and cat or your daughter and son? That's gotten a lot better, dude. She doesn't hate him? I don't know what happened. Lead him out into the middle of the street?

No, but over the last probably three weeks, that's gotten a lot better. Okay. It's really cool. Like, I did not see this coming. Maybe the cat helped. Now, the worst is the boy and the cat. Because he wants to attack it? Yeah.

And the cat will kind of sit there like, oh, I didn't know this was coming. Come pet me. And then he's got her like in a headlock. Or got him. I keep wanting to call the cat a female. Because of pussy. Yeah. Not all cats are girls.

No, I've learned. But we do have a big Super Bowl stream coming Super Bowl Sunday. That's right. To a YouTube near HTTP. Don't do it. Colon. Don't do it. I? Don't do it.

I think you know what it is. Yeah. It's going to be a big one. Can we announce some guests? What do we got? Is that cool? Yeah, I suppose. You didn't say it the other day, did you?

We're going to have the Sorori. Both? Both. The Sororiai. Both? Both. The Soroi twins. That's right. Excellent. The Sorai. And if you've never been to a Super Bowl party that those guys are involved in,

they take it to the next level, folks. Should I be telling them about the closest hotel? Probably. They'll probably Uber. They'll probably just sleep on the couch. That's also a possibility. They'll just stay there? They're bringing their ladies. They'll probably Uber. They'll probably just sleep on the couch. That's also a possibility. They'll just stay there? They're bringing their ladies. They'll probably take their limo. Yeah, they could

do that. Soroy's doing well. Those boys get down. Binion's coming? Binion is coming. Oh, is Binion coming? Is that official? Both Soroy and Binion, that's a dangerous trio. They've been together before on vacation. I've been together before. Okay. On vacation.

I've got the dynamic musical duo of Caitlin and Jameson. I liked having the keyboard set up. So do I. That was really cool. Okay. Gives me a little comedy bang-bang feel. Well, then let's do it again. Okay.

Do it again now. And I know Akash said he'd check in from wherever he is. I don't know where he's going to be watching the game. How about we're going to try and get Quincy again? Yeah. Should we get him up to the point where we can at least promote it? And then if he's not there, that'll be cool. He'll be our Matt Damon.

Every night. Okay. Yeah, I'll call him. Do'll be our Matt Damon. Every night. Okay. Yeah, I'll call him. Do you know the Matt Damon reference? No. Kimmel. That was an old bit on Kimmel, I guess. Did he ever actually get bumped?

Yeah, I think he might have gotten bumped once. Or had to bail or something. Because they would promote Matt Damon, and then there was no Matt Damon at the end of the show, and Kimmel apologized. And then it became a bit where he did it every night yeah for years i don't know that he still does it i can't they still do it okay does he i was wondering if kimmel has is not funny now or has never been funny and i think you answered he's never been funny. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I was a big fan, but now I see the error of my ways. Were you a man show guy?

What do you think? Yeah, absolutely, right? Of course. Girls are jumping on a trampoline with a- Murdering sock after sock after sock. Wet t-shirt. Are you kidding me? Are you surprised Kimmel has escaped the-

Blackface? Tens got you warmed up and then you switched to the man show? This is where Tins was going. Like, obviously, Howard Stern has some stuff out there that some can't believe that Howard Stern is still active just because he used to use the N-word

in his comedy work. Of course, had a force field of kind of his main partner on the air, Black. That will help. That's the only reason I don't say it. Because you're white. I found that didn't really help when I worked with Donovan for years.

It is a little bit weird. Maybe we just do Shane right now. This kind of segues in nicely, right? Sure. Kimmel did the Kimmel blackface thing it just depends on when you did it I mean I've told you a million times I don't know how many people know this or not but it was 1997-98 Will Ferrell definitely said the n-word on Saturday Night Live it was part of a like Robert Goulet Remember when he used to do Goulet? Kind of.

And he did like Robert Goulet sings the hip-hop hits. And he just leans into it, dude. I've never seen it. It's hard to find, but not that hard. It's definitely not like on the SNL website, but you can find it on YouTube. I mean, obviously, if I even tried to... So it's interesting, too, that the

blackface thing for different things, it's either cancelable or, well, I can look at the context of it. Yeah. And that's okay. Sometimes you're the governor of Virginia.

There is no... It feels like in this day and age, like there is no context of saying the N-word. No. If you said it in a certain way. And I got to thinking this because yesterday was the 50th anniversary of Blazing Saddles, which we've discussed.

I want to do it at the theater. And I've told you I would rather not. Right. And the movie... This guy gets it. Because they do all the... You always hear they couldn't make this movie today. Have you ever seen it?

Yes. Okay. Do you have an opinion on whether it could be made today? No chance. Yeah, no, I don't think so. But what was the big deal at the beginning? Was that they farted? No, okay, well.

It was like the first fart on screen or something, and that's the thing that they chose. This is why it's bad. Controversial. Yeah, controversial. Back then? Yes. Yeah, well, I've told this story in the past,

but this is a long time ago, but they used to have like the Family Channel. It was a cable channel. I don't know if it's still in some iteration, but they would apparently show wholesome family-based. Probably got some Christian stuff behind it, right? But we're the Family Channel. Well, Kirk Cameron.

And they showed that movie, and I watched it on the family channel. And I had seen the movie, you know, many times before, so I knew what is being edited for TV. They edited out the fart scene where guys are eating beans and they're all farting. They kept in when the old lady tells the sheriff, up yours, N, but she says the word, on the family channel.

And I was like, interesting choice. But the movie is about how racism is really stupid. Yeah, I get it. And that the government is corrupt and things are backwards. I mean, it's a... It's an incisive commentary, for sure. Right, and that's Shane-related.

It's just the way... That is what it's about. But no, we can't look at that like we have to... Oh, the N-word was said. Can't. No. You know, like just that word was ever uttered. We can't have this be a movie that could be made today. So I wonder. No. You know, like just that word was ever uttered,

we can't have this be a movie that could be made today. So I wonder. And certainly I think it's a movie that's a classic that we could host and show, but, you know, it's a democracy around here. And I don't know. I actually haven't heard Blake's vote. Seems like I have the swing vote. Yeah, he's the guy that you're...

He's Joe Manchin. You don't even know... How's that? Good? That's pretty good. Did it work? It worked, yeah. All right.

You don't even get it, do you? I hate that it worked, but it works. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. Thank you. Political guy over here. Yeah, totally. I have my finger on. That's really good. Thank you. Political guy over here. Yeah, totally.

I have my finger on the pulse of the... The beltway. Of politics. Yeah, how to get things done. That's just what I'm a guy who knows how to get things done. So I haven't heard the Shane audio that you pulled. Oh, the Shane audio that I pulled is just from TMZ. Yeah.

From years ago. From years ago. So this is what... So Shane Gillis, one of our favorite comedians. The best. From years ago. So this is what... So Shane Gillis, one of our favorite comedians. The best. He's awesome. But he's also a guy that will... Well, do you know the story of Shane Gillis?

He was hired by SNL for about six hours. And he does the biggest podcast on Patreon. Yeah. Yeah. Matt and Shane's whatever. And I guess on that podcast, I'm sure the podcast has gotten to be the biggest since the whole SNL thing. I don't know if it was the biggest previous to that. It was big, but certainly not to this degree at all.

I don't know if it was the biggest previous to that. It was big, but certainly not to this degree at all. But after he got hired or it was announced he was hired, people started looking into his past, as the Internet will do. And you always wonder about how this occurs, too. Like, is it somebody that's really, like, I just want to try and find something bad on him, or maybe it's just somebody that is very familiar with his work. And I don't know. But they uncovered an old clip from his podcast where, what was the, because there's a lot of beeps in this.

And I'm not sure, he calls some things gay. But there's some other stuff. Do you remember what the actual, was it the F word for gay? Or what was he saying? No, I believe in particular the one that got him run was he was making fun of Chinese food. And he used

a couple of slurs for Asian people and he made fun of like MSG being in food. Which the reason he got run is he got hired the same day as Bowen Yang, an Asian-American comedian. Okay. But the funny thing is, I don't know what you're about to play, but the funny thing is, like, I listened to him on his podcast, like, right after that happened, and he's

like, they could have found so much worse like this one got me he's like this is like this is uh this is a uh low level offensiveness like if they would have kept going then they would have and he also said that they would ask him like hey so you know we know you have a podcast and he's like yeah have you listened to it and they're like nah it's not a big deal though and he's like okay i mean have you listened to it? And they're like, nah, it's not a big deal, though. And he's like, okay. I mean, if you listen to an episode, I mean, I listen to quite a few of their episodes,

and pretty much any one of them has something that could get you fired from SNL. Okay. Is the Asian guy still on the cast? He is. Okay, because the reason this is in the news now is that it's just been announced he will be the host on February 25th. And I can tell you, I think it was two weeks ago, inexplicably in the closing credits where everybody's up on stage, Dave Chappelle was there.

Dave Chappelle was not on the show. But for some reason, Dave Chappelle is on one end of the crew. And he's got some hot opinions that might offend your really lefty type person. Yeah. Bowen Yang is on the opposite end of the stage and is not even up there with the crew. He's in the background just staring at Dave. So this dude is not chill.

So this is going to be an interesting weekend. Oh. Yeah, that's... Like, I don't know if Bowen Yang is... I don't know if he's gay or whatever, but he definitely has problems with Dave Chappelle's opinions and was, you know, kind of expressing that by not really participating in closing credits.

Didn't something like this happen when Andrew Dice Clay was on? Yes. Some of the cast members refused to be involved. Yes, I've read that part of the book. Well, here's... TMZ is the one who released this, at least this week, and they call it Shane Gillis' The Audio That Got Him Fired

Resurfaces. And like I said, this is not the original unedited, but we can still listen to it. You can try and figure out. The driver of the bus didn't show up for two hours. We were all sitting on the bus, hot a** bus, for two hours. Was he a white guy?

Nah, he was ethnic. Yeah, no, I'm kidding. Woo! Compound Media, dude. We in the house, baby. White people, white people, white people, white people. Why the f**k is CNN on in here? It it's always you guys gay now we're on fox dude this is right wing white get this cnn jews off i need some alt-right fox news dude yo rafe. I f*** with that, dude. F*** that c*** face. Oh, f***.

Yo, wait a minute. I'm f***ing heavy with that. And they're like, this next song was because it's a real sad song and we wrote it because 2016 was such a hard year for us because of the election. And I was like,

yo, these guys are so f***ing gay. And it was, I turned around to this chick that I'm seeing and I was like, yo, these guys are so f***ing gay. And it was, I turned around to this chick that I'm seeing, and I was like, yo, I f***ing love Donald Trump. And she's young, and like, you know, she's young, so she's like, what? What did you say? Is this the first she's hearing of this? She knows. This is the first time I genuinely turned to her and was like, for real, these make me love. Like 90% of the time I'm like, man, I wish someone else was the president.

Again, that's what TMZ just put out as. Well, that's not what it was. Okay. But still, I mean. That's some of the stuff that Shane might have been referring to? Yeah. There's a lot of it out there. There's a lot of it out there. There's a lot of stuff in there.

You know, he's a very interesting case because he signed the deal with Bud Light after their whole debacle with Dylan Mulvaney. Is it Dylan Mulvaney? Shane did? Yeah. He recently is a brand rep for Bud Light now. And it's funny because, you know, I guess if you don't listen to enough of the guy, you might not know this.

You know, it's very similar to like what what I've described to you guys with like Comptown. Like they're definitely like left leaning individuals. Yeah, they're making fun of. But they're also making fun of the idea of how lame the like like liberal uh you know language police can be yeah no i'm the comedy police can i feel like i'm the same way yeah and so but the funny part is is that you know that bud light signs him and then uh you know some conservative people listen to their to his comedy and they're like this guy's one of us because he's making fun of this or that. Right. And it's like, dude, he's making fun of you. Yeah.

To a certain degree and also just making fun of everything. You know, I know enough about the guy's politics to know, like, he's definitely a left of center individual. But it's almost like, actually, I just saw this. I saw a headline when I was Googling this. It said how Shane Gill has won the culture war. And it's almost like he just doesn't, he just don't care. Yeah.

About any of it. If you don't engage. No. And you're just like, okay, well, it's not, I don't dislike Asian people. I just did a voice. And I used some words that conventional society would say you shouldn't use so i don't know it's gonna be fascinating everything has to be on party lines now too yeah but if you just don't care then it's not yeah that's the main thing because because i love making fun of biden

as much as uh i love making fun of trump like it's all yeah and but but i think that the interesting thing about this weekend is, I mean, that is a hell of a story arc. It's the 25th now, obviously, not this weekend. Oh, excuse me. My bad. Yeah. Or 24th. A couple weeks away.

Yeah. Damn, I got excited about that. Yeah. Just the fact that a show could be like you're too offensive to be on this show and then three years later you're hosting in a prime sweeps area, that's crazy. It's going to be awkward. Yeah, no, it's awesome. And to me, it's kind of like why the ticket should have us at Ticket Stock

or why the ticket should have us at the 30th anniversary. Just because a big part of the history, Azzaro for over 20 years, don't hate the guys at the ticket, don't hate listeners at the ticket, love the ticket, you know, had a dispute that was above the, you know, the level of the local level. Well above. And then it's, you know, it ended up like it ended up. And I think that would be a, you know,

beneficial to all parties. If, you know, it would, it would boost us up a little bit. It would boost them up a little bit. I, I kind of think that'll never happen only because they're like,

well, we want to focus on the people that are here and we don't want that to diminish what they're doing. And, uh, I don't, I don't subscribe to that, but I don't subscribe to some of the things that they do. I don't agree with absolutely everything. But it makes me think of the Norm MacDonald got fired by SNL. Well, exactly the same as Shane.

Well, in a different way, but he got fired. Because of OJ. One year later, he was getting a show on another network, and Lorne Michaels is like, I just want good stuff and people to tune in, so they booked him. And he didn't say, well, this will diminish the Colin Quinn does the update now, and people will just be wishing that he was doing the update. You know, he just said, this is going to get a lot of eyeballs.

And that's what we're about is, you know, being in the news and all that kind of stuff. So we're going to have Norm MacDonald on to host. And I thought you'd like to hear some of his monologue. When the people here ask me to do the show, I gotta say, I felt kind of weird. I don't know if you remember this, but I used to actually be on this show. I used to do the weekend

update news routine. You remember that? That's where I did the make-believe news jokes. That was me. So then, a year and a half ago, right, I had sort of a disagreement with the management at the NBC. I wanted to keep my job, right? And they felt the exact opposite. So, you see, they fired me because they said that I wasn't funny, you know? Now, with most jobs, I could have had a hell of a lawsuit on my hands for that. But see, this is a comedy show. So they got me, you know?

You know what? But now, this is the weird part, right? It's only a year and a half later, and now they asked me to host the show. So I wondered, I go, hey, wait a second here. Hey! I go, how did I go in a year and a half from being not funny enough to be even allowed in the building to being so funny that I'm now hosting the show. How did I suddenly get so damn funny? It was inexplicable to me, because a year and a half, let's face it, is not enough time for a dude to learn how to be funny.

Then it occurred to me, I haven't gotten funnier. The show has gotten really bad. has gotten really bad so yeah I'm funny compared to you know well you'll see later okay so let's recap the bad news is I'm still not funny. The good news is the show blows. That's awesome. One of one. One of one. Yeah, I think just back to the ticket thing,

it's weird to me that, and I don't really know that i ever heard an explanation for this that i found satisfactory but uh you know there are people i'll just say you know for example elf right like elf does a weekend show now and uh elf like actually worked at the fan like he actually went and like took on bob and den like yeah elf and uh Elf and Jane Slater did a show from noon to three and publicly did not speak well of us and whatnot. Yeah, I've never understood that one. Was welcomed back.

Yeah, like I have – But there are certain guys who have left and they will never have. He's like escorted them out of the building and their persona non grata. I don't know. That's just weird to me. I've heard some level of explanation of like, oh, he was day one. And I love Elf. Elf is a super sweet guy.

Yeah, no. I listen to his show almost every week. Of course. You should not restrict yourself from hiring someone because they worked at a different radio station in town. Of course not. In fact, you should steal their good people. Yeah.

You're the Yankees. It's a little bit weird to me. We don't work somewhere else. I'll listen and I'll hear drops of people who work at another radio station. But you'll never hear us. And that bothers me, to be totally honest with you. Well, maybe it's not you'll never hear us. Maybe it's like there's a cooling off period.

I've heard about these cooling off periods. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, if there were one thing about it that bothers me, it's just that, like, I feel like there's a lot of people that have taken much more aggressive maneuvers. Yeah. And still, you know, very much either in the fold or somewhat in the fold. And it's like, listen, I didn't sue you.

No. So. No, we were just responding. Yeah. We're Little Red Riding Hood over here. Got a little basket. We're skipping through the woods. What do we ever do?

I don't want to hear it. What do we ever do? Anyways. Anyways, indeed. News? Sure. Oops. Levels just weren't there.

All right, I'm going to do this first so that I make sure I get to it. Like a huge lame-o, I did watch a good amount of the Grammys the other night. As I told you guys, I think it just means that... Why is that a lame-o? Yeah, I just never envisioned myself as like a guy that would watch... In fact, if you do that stuff cut some audio bring it uh you know well that's kind of what i'm doing right now oh thanks so uh tell us about it do it on the show i forgot that's right we're on the show we're

actually on the show right now. Yes. I just guess I never viewed myself as a guy that would be like pop, so pop culture that like I'm into what the wide audience is into. You know, like that feels like watching King of Queens to me. Hey. Just sitting over there. Yeah. Minding his own business. Yeah, there are a lot of people clamoring about King of Queens.

You know, like you think of yourself as a cool indie guy in college. You're like, I don't listen to what's on the radio. I don't watch the movies. Now I'm just like, just give me Fast and Furious. Give me Dua Lipa. Just give me whatever the Texas 911 or whatever that Rob Lowe's in. Just give me the budget. Lone Star.

Procedural show. Yeah. So I did watch this the other night, and Jay-Z won an award. You're watching CBS. Exactly. You're voting conservative. Eating at chain restaurants.

Yeah, yeah. Jay-Z got an award that they give. I think this is relatively new. It is the Dr. Dre Global Impact Award. I think it started last year. From Yo! MTV Raps. Shut up. Dr. Dre and Ed Lover.

So I believe this is, let's see how they actually describe this. I mean, last year was the first year, and it was won by, you guessed it, Dr. Dre. Damn. Yeah. And again, this year, oh, my gosh. Look at this. It's always him. It's Oprah on the cover of her magazine.

So Jay-Z's there, and he's up there with his daughter, which this is really weird because he's a celebrity, but it made me feel old to really weird because he's a celebrity, but it made me feel old to see Blue because she's like 13, 15-something, and I'm like, damn. Daughter's name is Blue, huh? Yeah, Blue Ivy. Okay. And he's up there with her, and Beyonce's in the crowd. She's 13.

We're going to hold off on any jokes there, Blake. I don't even know what the joke would be. Yeah, me neither. And he decides that he is going to... They tell you in three years in Texas. Okay. I thought it was two. Limits guy. He decides that he's going to take his guns and aim them at the Grammys

because Beyonce has won or has like 15 number one albums and is I guess not one for album of the year so he's up there and he just starts going in on it on it to accept it on it to accept it and thank you to the Black Music Collective for all the work that you guys do scholarships for young creatives and hopefully you know I'm adding to you know what you guys are doing out here obviously it's it's great to have an award for such an icon how far we've come with a Will Smith in them Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince winning a first Grammy in 89 and boycotting because it wasn't televised. And then they went to like a hotel and watched the Grammys.

I didn't even understand what the... Do you know their story? Vaguely, yeah. I think just that they weren't going to televise the rap award. Oh. And so, yeah. So then Will Smith's like, we're not going to go then? Yeah, but he makes fun of that.

They went to a hotel and watched the Grammys. I didn't even understand what the... It wasn't a great boycott. But then, 98, I took a page out of their book. I was nominated for Best Rap Album, and DMX had dropped two albums that year. They both were number one. Shout out to their book. I was nominated for Best Rap Album and DMX had dropped two albums that year. They both were number one. Shout out to DMX. And he wasn't nominated at all. So I boycotted and I watched the Grammys. I'm just saying, we just, we want y'all to get it right. We love y'all. We love y'all. We love y'all. We want y'all to get it right. At least get it close to right. And obviously it's subjective. Y'all. We love y'all. We love y'all. We want y'all to get it right, at least get it close to right.

And obviously it's subjective. Y'all don't got to clap at everything. Obviously it's subjective because it's music and it's opinion based. But some things, I don't want to embarrass this young lady, but she has more Grammys than everyone and never won album of the year. So even by your own metrics, that doesn't work. Talk to Beyonce. Think about that.

The most Grammys, never won album of the year. That doesn't work. You know? Some of you, some of you gonna go home tonight and feel like you've been robbed. Some of you made it, Rob. Work in the crowd. Some of you don't, Rob. Working the crowd.

Some of you don't belong in the category. No, no, no. You know what we're talking about there? What? Is that referring to something specific? No, I mean, I think he's probably looking at, he's probably saying that they nominate some people for hip-hop or for whatever,

and he's like, that's not even rap music. yeah all right no no no no no no no no no no no when i get nervous i tell the truth um but outside of that outside of that you know we got to keep showing up and forget the grammys for a second just in life. Now he goes on like 30 minutes of motivational speech type stuff. But, yeah, he just got up on stage and was like, Grammys are doing this wrong. You're nominating the wrong people, and you're giving the awards out incorrectly. And Taylor Swift is the one that won it, right?

Yeah. This year. This year, yeah. So does this always happen to Taylor Swift? Every time she wins something, does somebody go up and try to... I don't know about everything. She's with Kanye, right? Yeah.

That's where she's... It's the legendary. She won a new album, Newcomer, something like that. He was coked out of his mind. Yeah, I don't know. I just admire, like, you're in their building. You're like, you guys suck at this. Yeah, yeah.

Also, it's a weird criticism, too. She has won 15. I don't know. It's not like she hasn't won this one. But I think Album of the Year is like, that's the thing. That's what you want. Okay. Now, I will tell you.

I'd take one of the other ones. Regarding Taylor Swift, since I did watch almost this whole show, she's definitely not trying to shy away. I mean, she stands up when no one is standing. What do you mean? To give a standing O? Or if there's a song being sung and everyone else is sitting down. Now, granted, I'm a little bit that guy myself.

I like to stand up and shake it a little bit. And as you guys have been told by multiple listeners who have seen me, they're like, Jake is dancing like Julio Redrive. Have you ever heard people yell at you to sit down? Yeah. Okay. For sure. And I do.

That's never been me to yell, but I do think it. Yeah. And then I think, well, I'm the idiot. I'm at a game. I'm at a game. Everybody should stand up. I'm at a concert. But, you know, I want to sit down for a little while. Why is this?

You know, read the section. Yeah, you do have to read the section. Everybody's not standing here. Yeah. Taylor Swift will stand up like when they bring out the chicken cutlet. And the camera has to find her. And it's just like, just sit down. It's not all about you.

Was Travis – oh, no, of course. I forgot we were doing the news. He's getting ready for – He was not there, no. For football, right? He is presumably getting ready for football. Or was it the week off? Was it the bye week?

He could have been there. No, he wasn't. Let's see here. American Airlines – Was Brittany Mahomes there? I wouldn't have been surprised. Did you see Brittany Mahomes is going to be? SI.

In SI. Which I thought was gone. Yeah, wait a second. What's happening here? Wait, how did I get that? Yeah, last week we talked about Sports Illustrated. It's done. It's bankrupt.

They've laid everybody off. They're just going to do the TV episode. So it's just going to be the swimsuit issue every year? Like it's just an annual. Yeah. That's all SI is now. It's like Dave Campbell's Texas football. Because I don't know why.

There are lots of nice-looking ladies. You have the internet. You could just look at the internet. But it does interest me that Patrick Mahomes' wife is going to be in the... It's very weird. Like I told you, dude. I might want to take a look at it, and I don't know why. Like I told you, when I used to go to that gym, she was just sitting there.

Like every morning. It would be 5.30 in the morning. You're going to check it out? No, I'm not, actually. Okay. I'm a man of faith. Yeah. If you know Jake for five minutes, you'll find that out.

Yeah. I think we've talked about this story before, but it keeps getting worse. There is a former American Airlines flight attendant that has been accused by another family. Stewie. Stewardess. Doing Stewie now? Are you going gonna let him get away with that

sure an Austin family is suing him in the airline votes are two two to one against you after learning that their daughter

might have been a victim of his scheme his scheme recording girls in the lavatory like can you think of a grosser bathroom to record someone in?

I mean, I guess you can, but that's pretty bad. Yeah, but. Uh-oh. No, I'm saying, I'm not saying but. Here's the positives. I'm just saying, if you're him, though, the little flight attendant, you know, know seats are right there they're in the back next to the bathroom unless you're a hot flight attendant then you get the front one near that bathroom do you notice that there is a a system but there is a class system yeah

in flight attendants like your hot flight attendant will be in first class, and they get to mingle, and the pilot will pop out, and they'll joke around. And then your root will be in the back. Or the guy. Or the guy or whatever will be in the back. And, yes, you're with all the really bummed out people because I booked this flight late.

I'm in the middle back row. I'm next to the bathroom. It stinks. It's loud. You ever sit back there? Me? Of course you have, right? That's the only place I sit.

Yeah, I go back there. I book. With your trash bag luggage. Yeah, come on. Yeah, it's the loudest. It's so terrible. You can feel the rage burbling. Yeah. Back there, you know?

So I wonder if we're talking about, because that bathroom is certainly the worst bathroom, but you could see the proximity. You can probably get your equipment in and out pretty quickly. You could see where if you were a guy who wanted to do that, that'd be a good job to have to do it. Back to you. Well, and I have a couple of questions about this story because I don't know if it's just that it's kids flying alone, but it says that he would guide girls to first-class restrooms,

but before they entered, he would claim he needed to wash his hands and that the toilet seat was broken. And so then he would go in there and put his phone in there and say, oh, it's fixed. The lawyer for one of the families says. Just don't look at it, please. The idea that he's bringing kids up from the economy bathroom to first class, why didn't that raise a red flag?

And I'm thinking, yeah, if your parents are with you and some guy's like, why don't you come up to first class, little girl? Yeah. Like, what the fuck? Wouldn't you be like, no, she's going to sit with her family? Yeah, that seems pretty rare, though, that you would find someone, a kid traveling alone. You know, you say that, and this is wild to me. And I still, every time she tells me about it, can't wrap my head around it.

My wife did that like twice a year for six years, seven years. How young was she? Pretty young, dude. Like 10, 11. And they assign a person to you. And she, she's told me before that she would do it every Thanksgiving. So she'd spend like the first part of her day with family in one place at Thanksgiving, they would take her to the airport and she would fly to new Orleans or Lafayette every year. And they just kind of like assign, like I said, you know, they assign a person to you. You And they just kind of like assign, like I said, they assign a person to you.

You have like a thing, almost like a lanyard. Okay, what age, when was she, was it after 9-11? No. Okay, because before then, your stepmom or whoever could then take you to the gate and then walk you back. You'll be at the gate waiting. I believe it was during that era. I don't believe it ever happened after...

So you'd have to think, well, that's pretty safe. They can't go anywhere from the plane. Yeah. You're on the plane. It's still terrifying, though. But I guess if you did have a kid like that, you would say, yes,

the flight attendants are very aware of, okay, in 19B, it's the child, the minor traveling unaccompanied. 19B, there's a minor unaccompanied. I'm going to put my phone under this toilet seat. Yeah, maybe the guy was just like, look, I've always wanted to do this, but only for minors maybe. You know, the guys that would get your coal. No? I don't know what he's doing.

He can't keep getting away with this. You know, he's got the hat, the light. We know! We know. That's gold, boys. No, it's not. This final story I have here is absolutely insane

so there's a 65 year old woman in Granbury and or no wait the guy is 65 years old his name is William Roy Stone Jr. he's an ex FBI agent and he's going to prison for 87 months like I said retired FBI agent

he conned a North Texas woman out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. And here's how he did it. He convinced her through some sort of psychological pressure that she was on secret probation. Why is an adult falling for that? Well, she was elderly, right? She was elderly. It doesn't list her age here as co-conspirator was 64 um and they basically like somehow got this woman in their grasp and were like hey you can't tell

anybody about your probation like you're you're i think they told her that it was if you do tell yeah we'll kill you or somebody will kill Yeah. They told her she was on secret probation for federal drug crimes in, quote, Judge Anderson's Court in Austin, Texas. And they would even have somebody fake call her, saying that they were the judge. Like, don't tell anybody about this. You've got to keep paying. It took more than $700,000 from her. Wow. Over the course of 11 months.

$1,000 from her. Wow. Over the course of 11 months. They told her that she was prohibited from disclosing her probation status to anyone and would risk imprisonment and loss of her children if she did not comply with the terms of the probation. Now, again, the guy who perpetrated this scheme is an actual ex-FBI agent. So maybe that means he knows what he's doing. Or it means he inspects female bodies.

Jesus, dude. What? Just end it. I can't do any more of this. I had the FBI shirt. It was great. We know you did. It was hilarious.

Bought it with some fart spray. Say that's your news. Don't laugh at that. Everyone's laughing. That's the thing. That's the thing that you guys don't understand. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

You're screaming at clouds. Yeah? Yeah. Because female body inspectors? Yeah, you're in the ocean trying to stop the waves from coming in. It's just that you can't. Jeez, man. You got to lie back and enjoy it.

Some of the terms they used here are hilarious. They conducted physical surveillance of her, of course. They monitored her cell phone communications, and they stated they had discussed the woman's probation with a psychiatrist and enlisted another person to impersonate the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency's, quote, intelligence center, which feels very childish. Hey, I'm here with the intelligence center. Yeah.

Do you ever get, like, a call that says U.S. government? Yeah. As the ID? That's obviously some kind of a scam, right? Because I never answer it. I wouldn't answer if it wasn't a scam. But, like, no one's calling you and it says U.S. government. Probably not, but...

Or you get... Obviously, you get the emails, right? Oh, yeah. I think I'm talking to the government. Yeah. Hotmail will filter that right out. Yeah. All right, there's your news.

Okay. The dumb zone news. He's trying to catch me. Like, answer, cry. When I'm not ready to. I like it. I do, too. Oh, wow.

Okay, so we found something you guys think is good. Yeah, calling a stewardess a stewie is not it. Everybody's scheming against me here. Dude, if you could see Blake and I's text. Yeah. Tim Cato's going to write an article about you guys. It's like, again with these apples. All right, well. See, it's weird.

Now he's going to be so confident. We shouldn't have said anything. I know. Why? Because you want me to keep eating the apples and bothering you? No, we want you to just live your life. The only reason we- I want to improve myself, and if you guys can help me do so, because I want to go out

into society and have people think I'm normal. Okay. Well, that's going to be a tough draw. First. I'm sorry about Jake. But second, you may notice that we'll be there

a little bit earlier if you actually do change your ways. Okay. Guaranteed. I text Blake every day and I'm like, what time are you going to be there?

He doesn't have to know everything. Well, Blake wouldn't come over the other day. Dude, I'm sorry, bro. Unrelated. Unrelated. No, the other day when we were doing the early show, though, he said he was dropping off Brooks at 8.30. He goes, I'll be over at 9.30.

He's like, oh, wait, that's too early. I'm like, you can come over. We can talk. We can do nothing. We don't have to talk. We'll just prep for the show. Like, he just didn't want to be over with me alone. Like, what were you worried about?

Your personal safety? Were I going to come after you? I mean, you are looking great. I just do. And I am super horny. I feel like Blake and I both got a haircut. I was wondering why you stopped me on the way to the bathroom and said you had to wash your hands first.

Yeah. Gross. I saw Victoria today. Oh, yeah? Today? She said you've been trying to hit her up. Today in history. Yeah, I was trying to get in last Saturday for a head shave

and maybe a neck trim. Oh, yeah. I haven't been there in a while. You better take care of that before the Super Bowl, buddy. Yeah, I might try this Saturday so I can have a nice shiny head for the Super Bowl. Big things this weekend. Alright, so we're going to

do some Today in History. But not my cat, because apparently that's... Guy's like, hey, bring your cat over. And I'm like, I'll bring my cat over. He's like, no, don't bring your cat over. God damn it. I was really feeling positive these last couple days

that we had a future, but I'm not sure now. It's Thursday, February 8th. We are recording this live to tape, live to video as well. At Cane Rosso. At Cane Rosso. At Cane Rosso at the Star. But there's a location near you, wherever you are.

There really is. Just search it. Look it up on your phone. Do you think Jay is second-guessing his decision, especially after Jake drove everybody out with his potty mouth? What? Early on, you kind of were... You drove Jay out, too. What did I What? Yeah. Early on, you kind of were. You drove Jay out, too.

What did I say? I don't know. It's bad words. I don't think so. On this day in 1936, the Eagles. We did hear from Twitter that the gallery did not like the Grego advice about prostitutes. Like that was offensive? Yeah.

Hmm. Well, get what you pay for with us. This day in 1936, the first ever NFL draft pick was Heisman Trophy winner Jay Berwanger. was Heisman Trophy winner Jay Berwanger. The Eagles, they eventually would trade his rights to the Bears, and Berwanger never played pro football. Bust? The first draft bust was the first draft pick. How about that?

On this day in 1963, Lamar Hunt. Lamar Hunt. No, you don't have to do it for them. Oh. Who owned the AFL franchise in Dallas, Texas, moved to Kansas City, naming the new team

the Chiefs, because Dallas was going to get an NFL franchise, the Cowboys, and so he thought, well, instead of trying to compete, let's just get out of here. And on this day in 1994, Jack Nicholson used a golf club to attack a car. What? Not Jack Nicholas. I know.

Which would be too cliche. Yeah. I've never heard of this story. Yeah. I mean, I know he's wheels off. It was like a tabloid story of the day, probably. I can't believe he's still alive. Yeah, I once tried to get a liner from him in a Lakers game or maybe an All-Star game.

No chance. He pretended that he pointed at his throat and said, like, pretended he had laryngitis or cancer. That's funny. That's a good move. But I got that close to him. That's pretty sweet. No? For sure, man. Thanks.

Birthdays today. Leighton Vanderrush is 28. Leighton Vanderrush. Kimspin. Leighton Vander Der Esch is 28. Leighton Van Der Esch. Kimspin. Leighton Van Der Esch. What? We doing it today? I mean, we've done it many days.

His dad supposedly accidentally killed his first wife in a hunting accident. So not Leightton's mom? No. No, I believe it was well before he was born. And there's like a, you know, there's an article about it in the paper from up there that you can find online. Which I think would be like the coolest thing about hunting and your wife hunting some too. Like one, you get a little time together, you know, outdoors. And two, you can murder her pretty easily. Yeah.

Isn't that the same with, like, rock climbing and stuff? Yeah, scuba diving. Oh, no. It was terrible when she fell. Yeah. I couldn't believe it. I didn't even see it. Actually, we found the GoPro around her neck.

Oh, you did? Oh, no. on her neck. Oh, you did? Oh, no. Yeah, you never jumped in and asked him about that when he was on our show back at the...

Neither did you. No, I didn't know. I mean, I just... Okay. I don't follow that stuff. I just know his stats. Yep. Former Ranger Matt Bush, 38.

Ran a guy's head over. Is that why he was in prison? Yeah. Got a World Series ring. He did. Also, it was all heroined out and stuff, right? Yeah, I mean, I think that was all kind of part of the package. I think it was during the day, too.

Like, he had gone to a strip club, got hammered, got on the stage, I want to say. Because it was like that documentary about him. And, yeah, he ran a guy's head over. Easily. I mean, the guy should have been dead. It was like a 5% chance of survival. Oh, the guy didn't die. He did not die. Okay.

Well, he's got a great story then. For buddies. He also probably got a significant amount of money. Yeah. He's probably like wearing a bib and somebody's feeding him. So is it worth it? Would you like that life if you could have all that money? I would not.

Julio Jones is 35. Not Julius Jones. If you may remember the My Fantasy League, the Landry Cup's number one overall draft pick in 2005. But looking it up this morning, so his 2004 rookie season, he played only eight games. To be clear, it's not Julius Jones' birthday. No. No, I know.

Yeah. But in that 2004 season, eight games, 819 yards rushing, seven touchdowns. You project that out. Let's project that out. And we have a number one overall draft pick in fantasy football. Sure. So you can't really blame him. How'd he do?

I think he had less yards the next year with 16 games. So I don't know if that's better or not. Klay Thompson is 34. 33 points and a quarter. Do they regret giving him the big contract a couple years ago? Like, they kind of knew he's nowhere near what he was, and it's kind of like they were doling out thank you cards. Maybe, but you know how that works with teams like that

is that they're so far over the cap. Like, if he goes, you can't replace him with anything. You have no money. So it's either keep him at this stupid rate and let Joe Laker pay the tax or replace him with a rookie. And then also their rookies have ended up being disasters. You're possibly affecting the rest of the guys then mentally, like his good buddies? Because he kind of sucks, right?

He's not having a good year, which means I'm surprised he hasn't ended up a Maverick. Joe Madden is 70. Not a fan. I'll mention this just for you. Big Show, 52. Do you know just for you. Big Show 52. Do you know who that is? Big Show. It's a big show.

Did you watch wrestling? Here and there. Don't treat everyone who watched wrestling like that. It was fun. Yeah, it seems great. Nick Nolte is 80 Boy you want a racist movie? Bad News Bears?

No 48 Hours Oh yeah I think he would call I don't know what I just remember he called Eddie Murphy Watermelon Eddie Murphy was like a Prisoner

Who he got from out of prison for like a week or something to help him catch some criminal. It's a... Just going back, I had a recent rewatch. I was like, whoa. Like, Lazing Saddles

is actually about anti-racism. Right. It's like a clearly anti-racist movie. But the N-word is in it, so it's like we can't show that. But 48 hours. Let's have a marathon. Let's show it over and over. Which I think they do every Thanksgiving.

Creed Bratton is 81. From The Office. What's his real name? Creed Bratton. Oh, The Office. What's his real name? Creed Bratton. Oh, okay. That's their bit. Their first names are the same. Oh, okay.

Oh, all of the... Yeah, Angela Martin is Angela Kinsey. Huh. Phyllis is Phyllis. Oscar is Oscar. Brian's Brian. Hmm. Indeed. No, Brian's Brian. Hmm. Indeed.

Kevin is Brian. So that's not right. But a couple of them are. You agree with me? Yeah, I was going to agree with Jake there. Yeah, thank you. I agree with that. I second it.

Mary Steenbergen. Oh, my God. Kemp Spin. The things I would do. 71. Kemp Spin? Mm-hmm. This is one of my favorite Kemp Spins.

Just what? I'm being awesome? No, I'm with you guys, but there is a funny note that Jake has told us in the past about her. And it's quite funny to me. I can't, off the top of my head, pull it. She went under during surgery and woke up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not really a spin, but yeah.

She woke up and thought she was, like, musically gifted, right? Yes. And she was, like, she woke up, like, mid-anesthesia and was, like, I am now a classically trained musician and started playing music. And she actually was good? She can play. Right? I don't know how good she is, but I...

But I mean, she did not play before, if I recall correctly. Okay. That's a good note. Yeah. It was something like, too, where she was like... had some sort of weird, like,

I feel music now. Let me see if I can give you any more details on this. Like, do you think there's a way they could go in your brain and just hit one thing and all of a sudden you could do music? In 2007, Steenburgen underwent minor surgery on her arm, which required a general anesthetic. Shortly thereafter, she began experiencing, quote, music playing in her head day and night. She subsequently took music lessons so that she could write down what she was hearing

and by 2013 had almost 50 songwriting credits. Wow. It's like she just woke up and was like, I can't stop hearing music in my head. So I need to figure out how to transcribe this. That sounds really cool. It's like the John Travolta movie, right? I don't know what that is. Oh sounds really cool. It's like the John Travolta movie, right? I don't know what that is.

Oh, really? I don't know what it is. You've heard stories about that. I never believed, but as a kid, I was like, maybe. It sounds like amnesia, just as unbelievable as that. The stories you'd hear, much like I heard his dad had to register his arms as lethal

weapons, or deadly weapons, like that you would hear, much like I heard his dad had to register his arms as lethal weapons. Or deadly weapons. Like somebody gets struck by lightning and then they know Chinese. Yeah, I don't think that's actually true for anyone. Like how would you be able to know something... Like music is one thing. You know, because some people are born with a gift they you know

but like how would you know something that you've never heard at all maybe it's all up there you just don't know how to access it Seth Green is 50 from Robot Chicken fame or Austin Powers. Getting blank stares there from Blake.

Nothing. Cecily Strong is 40. She's kind of funny. I think kind of hot. Okay. Well, I was more commenting on her artistic talents. I told you the way I judge women is how they look. Yep.

So that's why I don't hate her or Taylor Swift. Born on this day, not alive anymore, Gary Coleman and Kimbo Slice. Man. Right up Jake's alley. But you were into Kimbo, right? Was that your bit for a while? Oh, yeah. You trying to tell Bob he's the best fighter on earth?

Yeah, it would make him a little mad. You know, I used to... That was a big part of my early internet days, for sure. What? Looking at Kimbo slice fights? Street fights. Yeah, street fights. Backyard fights.

Pound for pound. One of the toughest fighters in world history. Could he have beaten Ronda Rousey? They both could have beaten Mike Tyson at their peak. Sure. I heard Tyson's going to fight again. Boy, I hope Michael got that. Really?

Yeah. What's the deal? I saw some news. I'm in. Yeah, I saw something the other day, just him saying like he might. Dude, watch party, stream party. Oh, there's no doubt. There's no doubt.

We're doing Tyson. We're doing a stream party for Tyson. When is it? we're doing tyson we're doing a stream party for tyson when is it we're doing it uh mike tyson could return to the ring for a big money fight in saudi arabia just says he's eyeing a comeback okay i'm not gonna do it if they're taking that money i know right it's some it's some like retired mma fighter but they would be boxing dude i don't know if you ever see him like on instagram not on instagram obviously but like he'll post videos there's other people will post videos every now and then dude he still looks like a freaking unit yeah like his speed is crazy like he doesn't drink at all anymore i think he eats pretty well he just smokes pot you know he grows pot and i've seen him

like just doing like a little you know not even sparring but like shadow boxing and he looks he looks like he could still kill 10 people. You ever watch Mike Tyson Mysteries? No. I think it's one of those 15-minute cartoons or something. I've heard of it. And my wife, it's all she watches. Like that and the Today Show news.

She loves it. They're still making them? Mike Tyson Mysteries? I don't know because she's like, oh, you got to watch this. Norm MacDonald is the pigeon. And I'm like, okay. Yeah, Norm MacDonald is one of the voices.

As is like the Dean. She loves the Dean from Community is one of the voices. She's like, this is a great show and you should watch it. And I kind of pull the Blake and I'm like, this is a great show and you should watch it. And I kind of pull the Blake and I'm like, yeah, alright. Then I just don't. Because I think it all started with I didn't hear her the first 18

times she said it. Died on this day. Feb 8. We give you Derek Thomas. If you remember a couple weeks ago was the accident date. Then he actually... Expired.

He hung on. He fought. But then, yes, he passed. And died on this day in 2007, Anna Nicole Smith. What a bummer, dude. What's your knowledge of her scene? I remember her on E! a lot. Yeah?

Married that old guy. Jay Howard Marshall or Edward Marshall? Jay Berwanger. No, it's not Jay Berwanger. That's why he didn't go to the NFL. He's like, oh, look at this piece I got. I got a... Yeah, it's a sad story, man.

I just know that... Pills. yeah i mean everything but pills will that's what we're really that's why we've always said plants over pills no doubt um playboy had like a i don't know if it was like a making of a calendar or something. They used to have like... You know how SNL will have the half hour Best Of Chris Farley? They used to have those VHS tapes. I had every single one of them.

Or Best Of Phil Hartman. Whatever. Well, they had like a... It was kind of like a Best Of... It was an Anna Nicole Smith photo shoot, but it was a Playboy half hour video. Oh, yeah. Oh my god. Like you have your little memories from teenage

Jake. Oh yeah. You know. And that was me, man. Boy, he got creepy. He's like off in a different place. Sorry. Sorry. And that was Today in History. We have closing remarks from Connie Rosso.

Not only in Frisco, but many other places, according to Jake. Apparently, at one point in the day, an early teenager asked what show we were doing and if he could listen. What is an early teenager asked what show we were doing and if he could listen. What is an early teenager? I said no. What do you mean? I know we want subbies, but...

Get him on a headset. This guy's just pissing away money. We're probably not fit for that audience. We're not E for everyone. We're groomers. We're trying to groom them to listen. And that's the ones you want. You want the teenager.

Let me just make sure I have this straight. You educated him on why you pay a prostitute. Let me make sure I have this straight. We have a subscription-based model, right? Someone came up to him, member of the show, and said, can I listen to this show? And he said, no. No.

Right. You're too young. What are some of your other rules? One of the three of us has to have morals. You can't be spraying this nonsense to the younger generation. This is unbelievable, dude. Just an unbelievable fumble. If you'd like to apply for the open producer spot on our show, then...

The base requirement is tell people they should listen. Yeah, that's all you have to do. Just don't turn everyone off. Adios, mofo. Let's finish it. And this time, everybody about to witness it. Bro told them to move, just doing his job. But y'all wanted to jump him, so now we got a prize. Alright, bet. Let me tell y'all what really happened. Heard they was jumping on my cuz and let me off, captain. Cuz came out the water like, let's get it crackin'.

Unc came with the chair like, I got some ashes. Cuz came no shirt like, I got some ashes. Even the women gettin' hit like, damn, what happened? Hey, this shit was kinda lit like, damn, it's crackin'. I even seen getting hit. Like, damn, what happened? Hey, this shit was kind of lit. Like, damn, it's cracking. I even seen a rock bottom. Like, damn, this wrestling? Seen a couple of them boys go night-night. And we got the first black man to swim to a fight.

Salute. If you mad at this song, don't mention me. Don't do it. But f*** that. That chair going down in history. Hey, I'm really proud of y'all. Montgomery Brawl. Bitch.

Not one, but them all. Montgomery Brawl. Shout out bro that can swim. Montgomery Brawl. Salute. Salute. Really all of them. Montgomery Brawl. Shout out Hunk with the chair. Montgomery Brawl. Shout out bro that can swim. Montgomery Brawl. Blue shit really all of them. Montgomery Brawl.

Shout out Hunk with the chair. Montgomery Brawl. Everybody that was there. Montgomery Brawl. Threw the hat off at the start. Montgomery Brawl. Man shout out to the girl. Montgomery Brawl.

Yeah this a real good moment in history right now. Let us all smile. Salute