The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 3-21-24

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

Dive into a whirlwind of humor, intrigue, and international flair with the latest podcast episode that takes you from the bustling streets of Paris to the historic catacombs beneath. Join Dan and Jake as they navigate jet lag with CIA-inspired tips, encounter the world's most famous paintings, and ponder the futility of life amidst ancient bones. Whether it's evading pickpockets or dining like the locals, this episode is a passport to laughter and a fresh perspective on travel. Don't miss the chance to vicariously explore the City of Light and beyond! (00:00) - Open (13:30) - Viewer Mail (34:10) - Sports: Cowboys free agency, Ohtani (01:11:15) - Dan's trip to Paris (01:55:20) - News (02:02:20) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program.

I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen. I don't know, Lloyd. The French are assholes. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. assholes. Hey guys, remember me? Hey.

Hi Dan. Hello Blake. Look at him Hey Jake An official public welcome To you And to you as well Because we've spoken many times before Yes

But We guessed that you'd be jet lagged today Yeah You look great You do Hey thanks man You got a glow That's what they say about eating European food is true Yeah I got a lot of questions You look great. You do. Hey, thanks, man. You got a glow. That's what they say about eating European food is true.

Yeah, I got a lot of questions. You look light. Light? Yeah. Like skinny? Yeah, you just look like spry and... Fit? Yeah.

It's season of the cut. No one says that. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. No one says that. Well, one of the 20-year-old girl that I was hanging out with in the last week, who is my daughter. Thank you for that important qualifier. None of that monkey business you're thinking of. It is France.

It is France. But anyway, she's into working out. I guess, yeah, it makes sense. Summer's coming. She says that'll start when she gets back. And she's back, I'm back. Whoa! And look at where we are.

Minimum age of consent in France? Go ahead. Fifteen. I guess. Actually, I had that queued up to say we have a studio. This is information he wished he knew. Maybe it works for all... Wow.

Yeah, this is amazing. It's the most beautiful studio I've ever been in in my life. A new, temporary, possibly temporary, perhaps long-term studio that we're trying on for size. It is in an undisclosed location, secretly hidden in... Should we just go Dallas County? I thought this was Colorado. I thought we finally took our trip.

No, because I'm here. Oh, that's right. That wouldn't work. You know it's not at Blake's house because Dan and Blake are here and we're not allowed to be there Dan and Jake excuse me Dan and Jake are yeah but this is amazing

it's the most amazing studio I've ever seen in my life yeah I mean that it's very impressive I like the setup I like the the accoutrement 1990 ooh 1993 Pro Bowl thing behind you it's like a program of sorts. So what we have here is, besides the big wall of sound.

I didn't notice Pole Guy behind you. Yeah, there's a picture of Pole Guy. We are trying to populate. Autographed. As we have said many times, when someone will send something to the Den of Inequality, where we usually do the broadcasting, high atop my garage, we will say, you know, hey, this is going to be great in our future new studio. And so I would say, yeah, look, these things that people have sent us are great. Yeah.

I got the Sinbad collection of movies and my Sarah Heppel book back there. It looks smart. Lawyer Frank pillow. Some hats. Of course, no one believed in him either. That guy up there. Yeah. Yeah.

He signed his deal while you were gone. Boy, a lot happened in the Dan world. LeBron's got a podcast now. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't see that. Yeah.

And Baker signed a deal. I've got a Tony Romo Mavericks jersey. Never forget that his name is actually on the court along with all the other players. I was helping Video Man very slightly. I just helped him load that into his truck, like some of the decorations here. And I kept mine. his truck, like some of the decorations here. And I kept mine, but I put yours because you said you'd never wear it. I mean, I don't know.

If we're going to be on video, I might get back to the shirt bits. Yeah. You know, you and I have been away from the shirt bit game for some time now. I searched out this on purpose to find a Dallas-based-based top a dallas-based fit sadly i've given away most of my bitch shirts you know i just hate because you use it so well like you know exactly when to say it like it'd be funnier if you didn't know yeah i'm a hip guy yeah you kids love me you're giving hip right now does that work you're giving jealousy yeah i i gave away so the the funny part about giving away your bitch shirts is like somewhere there's like a poor family in euless that is the funny thing and they have a uh and they have a uh uh four seasons landscaping shirt

from the time that rudy gi Giuliani held a press conference there. They've got that. They've got a Nancy Pelosi is the devil t-shirt that I had ordered. George Bush with a Hitler mustache. George Bush. Someone is wearing that. Yeah, I delivered all of that to a women's shelter. It's like, hey, look, beggars can't be choosers.

They got a witch hunt shirt. That's awesome, man. Kept the straws, though. The Trump straws? The freedom straws? That's right. Boy, man, I was in France, as you know, so I was thinking a lot about freedom fries

and just how stupid that all was. I was so bought in in middle school. There's so many other deals like that, too, from stupid that was. I was so bought in in middle school. There's so many other deals like that too from around that time. You were not going to eat fries or call it freedom French fries? Yeah, I told the lunch lady at middle school, can I get some freedom fries, please? What a dork. We're all dorks in middle school. Like, I want to talk France, like, at length,

but I will say, with all the art and museums and the age of all the buildings and all that kind of stuff, if I had Germany knocking on my door with a bunch of tanks and planes with bombs in them, I'd probably surrender to whatever. Just don't. We can't have nightly bombing like you're going to do in England or whatever. Yeah.

Or like you're doing. We're done. You're saying so. I'm sure. I surrender. Someone will save us. The whole world. These buildings more important than millions of human lives subjected to an ethnic cleansing.

If you had to pick which one to preserve. You're not really following what I'm saying. They had to fight back. But I mean. Because they were killing hundreds of thousands of people a year. What would I have done in the past week had they not preserved those buildings? Yeah, I guess that's a good question. Gone to a more modern city?

It is really weird how old everything is, right? Isn't that the first thing you think about whenever you get to England? I mean, I think about that when I'm in New York and then wind that back hundreds of years of civilization. When our tallest structure was a teepee yeah exactly and

they have yeah it's it's yeah they've had it they built a church that uh like 700 years ago that's and you know our our house is falling apart it was built like in the 80s or maybe early 90s i think late 80s maybe yet they've got something built in 1324 that is solid. Yeah. Aliens, bro. They don't build it like they used to. Man, that was when Europe was great. We want to make America like when Europe was great.

Not like when America was great. In the 1300s? Yeah. There were some other problems around that time too. Nah. You think the age of consent is low now. Hey, so a lot of reviews rolling in on the week I was gone, and it appears that the lawyer roundtables are boffo. People really like it.

I don't know if you guys address that at all. I listened to your Monday program when I was on the flight back. You got it here yesterday. But I didn't hear yesterday with Joe Kemp, although I'm getting a lot of Joe Kemp feedback. Like, Joe Kemp was awesome. Yeah. He was ripping and running yesterday.

The most valuable Kemp, perhaps. He's just throwing quarterbacks under the bus for being gay. Oh, yeah? And it didn't have to be true. Okay. Yeah, he was without filter yesterday have to be true. Okay. Yeah, he was without filter yesterday, to put it mildly.

Okay. That's what we need. It was really good. We gotta just quit filtering everything. You know me, I wanna beep all the words. Just one word. We gotta get rid of me. Anyway, and I come back and we got like 300 more subscribers how about that people wanted to

hear about your our pain yeah your time in court yeah 58 28 this morning stop checking don't you love how obsessed dan is what do you mean stop checking that's our's our life. I know, but it's going to go up. It's going to go down a little bit. He grew up with you not caring about anything. Were you always worried about which Monday is ratings day? You know, this is ratings day. Yeah, I know. That's a good point.

But we wouldn't talk about it, though. But then I, you never, well, sometimes you had a ratings check, but, you know. Sometimes you felt just short. Some but you know, just short. Some of you would. Well, I don't want to hear it from you, money bags. So on today's program, it appears we have a lot that's not regarding France. Some of it may have to carry over to tomorrow. Yeah. I've been without

wife all week. I've had both kids. I didn't know that. You perked up whenever you thought without wife, but if you've got both, and I've had help, but Where is she? First, Arizona and then as of late last night, El Paso.

Conferences with former NFL quarterbacks. What? Still good, though. She was at some event with Cam Newton a couple weeks ago. That is true. That is true. Cam Newton was there. Apparently he's involved.

We never really got that follow-up, did we? No. I mean, I don't know much about it. And it was the day after he got beat up. Did he have an awesome hat? Yes. That's the dumbest thing you've ever asked. If he was wearing a hat? Yeah, an awesome hat. Okay.

I guess he didn't get beat up. He got jumped, but he held his own. He did. He did. But yeah, I was telling Blake beforehand, I think if you have both kids by yourself, and like I said, I've had a lot of help. One night, boy stayed elsewhere. I think

if you do that, you deserve like two nights by yourself in a hotel i mean you've got me nodding and agreeing yeah i'm gonna agree with about whatever you said you deserve i think that should just be a common thing in marriages and it would work both ways oh sure but yeah i don't think that'll be happening. Yeah, I think about you a lot. I'm going to go pick up Nora today. Dan, because you used to say when you would get home from work, the wife would just hand you the kid. Because she's been at home with the kid all day.

Yeah, because she did not have a job. And I was always pro your side. Like, what? I've been working too. But yeah, I feel like watching the kid is a whole different ballgame. Where you just need to be cleansed. Yes. but it is like she needs a break on the weekend my wife like well so yeah me where's my i didn't true i work you know every day of the week and then i don't get the you know now i take care of the kid all day saturday so where where does my break come in because no no that's not a that's not taking care of the kid,

that you're just being a father. You're being a good father. Okay, so what are you doing then? No, no, I'm working. I'm, oh, okay. Anyway. We have it the worst. I know, man. It's always been this way. So we have today in Twitter, we have thej with a little news and today in history and all that kind of stuff. Apparently, the Cowboys. Dude.

All right, I'll save the Cowboys. Let me just do a quick bout of viewer mail. Then we can do Cowboys. You want to do that? Sure. You want to do that? Sure. You're agreeable. You're an upbeat guy. I just have no scene control at any of the scenes in my life.

When is wife coming back? Later this afternoon, but not in time to get kid. But in time for a little of this. Oh, no doubt. Oh, yeah. Index finger into the fist. Yeah. In and out.

Yeah. The old in and out. The difference is that in your scenario, I'm the fist, brother. Hmm. Is that what pegging is? Yeah. What's pegging, Blake? Tell me about pegging.

I think you nailed it. Oh, what'd you guys do to Pornhub? Well, you know. Unbelievable. So I heard about it, and then I had to do some research because the family went away to do some museums I didn't care about. And I researched that it did work, though, in France. In France?

Of course it does. Okay. Your age of consent is 15. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah, it's on one of their regular channels. But isn't that... Pornhub is channel four.

Isn't that like going to McDonald's in Europe? Like, don't you want a little local flair? Well, you could search French. Yeah. It directs you to French stuff first. Okay, but that's like ordering a croissant at McDonald's in France. What? I don't know.

I don't know what the comp would be. I hate it. It's like... Oh, like you're looking for the Pornhub of France. Yeah. Oh? I don't know. I don't know what the comp would be. I hate it. It's like, uh... Oh, like you're looking for the Pornhub of France. Yeah. Oh. I don't think that exists. I think it's just in French,

and they probably direct you to French videos. However, I will say... So we control the market. I will say... We're good at porn, bro. Um... It's almost like when you have to switch, like, uh, TV providers.

Like, if you move, and they don't offer the one, like, you had AT&T or something forever, and then you move. Yeah. Trying to navigate some of these other sites. I'm like, ah, the controls are all jacked up. I don't like the interface. Oh, wait, that's premium? I don't like that. I clicked on that.

Yeah, it's a whole different ballgame. You got to wait longer. I just got to tell you, you as I said my wife has been out of town so I've been practicing yeah and four days in I don't have it down yet so you're trying to find other sites well I mean I've yeah we've been sent several oh really yeah Joe was recommending a couple oh he's single guy yeah is that? Yeah. Because I've gotten some recommendations, and I do really appreciate them, but then I'm like, is that weird that you just shared your favorite porn site with this guy?

Anyway. As long as you're not paying for it for your buddy. Dear Dan, can you please wish your friend and my brother, Jonathan Garner, happy 58th birthday from Jeffrey Garner. You know him. You know Jonathan, the guy who, the Tesla tours. Oh yeah, for sure. Good dude.

He moved from DFW many years ago to NoCal. You know where that is? Yeah, Northern California. Thank you. And he started a wine tour, and he bought a Winnebago, called it the Winebago, and gave tours of all the local wineries

and kicked ass at it. I ever tell you about the time I did one of those? Although we may have just driven because they were all pretty close together, but we pulled up to one. And it wasn't the Winnebago, but it was like a bus. And it was full of people probably in their 70s. And this is like midday, so they had clearly hit a few already.

I saw a guy fall out of a bus. Oh, nice. Like a 70-something-year-old man. Oh, man. Like dressed real nice. He just was sloshed already and just ate it. Did you see your future? Like 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

Were you like... Yeah, there it is. Right there, folks. Because sometimes I'll see old me somewhere. Like, I'll see a guy in California or something like, boy, that'd be great if that was me. You know, I got divorced. Now I'm just sitting here living by the beach.

Yeah. I'm eating fish tacos, if you know what I mean. Hell yeah. Yeah, brother. Anyway, so then he got to, I don't know if I've told you this, Blake. I think Jake knows this story. Then he had a buddy who worked at a five-star hotel. And he said, man, people are always asking me about a wine tour, but they don't want to go on like a tour in a Winnebago with the people like us.

Yeah, the common folk. The dregs of society. Yeah. And so around this time, Jonathan also had seen that the Tesla was starting to become a thing. Because he lived in NoCal, and that's where the first tests were and all that kind of stuff. And so he bought himself a Tesla, and he called it the Tesla Tours. And he would just do individual or a couple. You want a wine tour?

How about this fancy new Tesla? Because his business is doing great, so he could get a Tesla. And his first client, when he showed up at the five-star hotel, hopped into the back of his Tesla with his wife, Brett Favre. Wow. Yeah. And he paid for that tour with money that he defrauded from the welfare program of Mississippi. I was going to ask if it was really his wife.

Maybe just a beat reporter. As it were. And then, from what I understand, he also got in. It's the studio, bro. I guess. He got in early on Tesla, too. Before they started killing people well those kind of people make me mad because they don't hit on one thing they hit on everything

they do oh yeah we know a couple he'd be rich on the tours alone but here he is hitting on tesla yeah sure he hit on crypto yeah a hundred percent that's what i was gonna say the people we know that have hit on bitcoin they haven't just hit on bitcoin right i know and you know conversely i lose it everything not just one thing i know i want to hit on Bitcoin. Right. I know. And you know, conversely, I lose at everything. Not just one thing. I know. I want to hit on one thing. It's like you're buying into Bitcoin now.

Cool. 68,000. I unsubscribed from the update email because I was too mad at myself. I still have a little bit, but not what I had. Dear favorite comedy podcast men. There you go. I'm writing from my hotmail that currently has 18,000 unread emails.

It's used for junk. I've had it since my freshman year of college. This came yesterday. Not only is today Business Wednesday, but it's my birthday. I'd love a belated shout out on Thursday's Epi because I'm currently super annoyed that I'm banned from Boys Lake Weekend at PK with

y'all. So we're going, oh, okay. Anyway, this is from Courtney Cox Brown. Oh, yeah. The great. Yeah, she's unhappy about our boys trip. Why? It's her husband? Mm-hmm. And apparently no girls allowed.

We could probably... Well, no wives allowed. I think it's no wives allowed, yeah. She doesn't know. There may be some paid women there. Dear Amsterdan. Okay. Love it.

Happy birthday to my brother Gabriel. He's not a day one but I am number 570 I sent the Playboy and Pat Tillman newspaper which will be here soon I can promise you that at some point that will be here his leaders are probably

Joe Kemp's gay friends yeah that was brought up and the Texas Tech Gap Kid see if Jake knows that Kemp spin And the Texas Tech Gap Kid. See if Jake knows that Kemp Spin from Adrian. Texas Tech Gap Kid. I guess I don't. Should I Google it? Or Goog it, as you would say?

Maybe, uh... Oh, yeah, I know this kid. I think he might be a listener. Oh, when they tore down the goalpost? Yeah, yeah, I know this kid. I think he might be a listener. Oh, when they tore down the goalpost? Yeah, yeah. And he's just wearing the Gap, a t-shirt from Gap. It just says Gap. Yeah, and he's like carrying the goalpost.

He's like 12 or 13 at the time. Okay, that's awesome. And then the, yes, it is true. My brother revealed to Blake yesterday what I've known for some time which is that um he primarily hangs out with with gay people why is that I don't know he's just like it's more fun to go to the bar with him and he met a couple of people men and women and they're like hey we're doing wine night or something. They probably love hanging out with him too because he's all hot.

Yeah, I think that probably doesn't hurt. Cut. Yeah. They don't want to hang out with me. Or me. I'm all old and flabby. Anna sends a new dirty joke. I heard this today and I thought of you.

Oh, man. of you oh man why do people think of me I don't know I mean she clearly addressed it to only one of us what does a baby look like when you put it in the microwave I hated this line of humor and I still do what I don't. I'm too busy masturbating. Okay. And that came from woman who cuts dog's heads off? I don't know. I'm too busy cleaning up. Oh.

Hey, King. I thought you were doing that act while she cut the dog's head off. A lot of layers here. There's a lot going on here. Hey, King. I thought you were doing that act while she cut the dog's head off. A lot of layers here. There's a lot going on here. Hey, King, listening to the lawyer roundtable from Puerto Vallarta right now. Puerto Vallarta. I know it's not appropriate to have fun or vacation right now in light of the situation in Gaza and our southern border. Very true. Very true.

Anyway, more Blake. Keep doing what you're doing, Playboy. Chase that money from Jonathan. Told you guys. Told you. They're not as advertised. They are racist? What are you saying?

No. Well, it was just more that, like, first of all, 90% of the guests at my hotel were from Canada, which I had no idea was a thing. It's like the most popular winter destination for Canadian and mostly, like, older people.

But they would talk to the wait staff, like talk down to them kind of. Just in a way that I don't and I don't even hear most people here do. You know, my dad might hit you with an hola at a Tex-Mex restaurant. But they were just like really kind of pushy

and ordering them around. Like, hey, I'm in Mexico. I'm above you. I'm allowed to do this. That's not cool. And their heads go up when they talk. It's really annoying. I want internet money.

Yeah, I think that's just South Park, but I don't know. All right, anyway. I got a couple real quick. Oh, okay. Because she does listen Despite your pleas Yesterday

Was my mom's birthday Oh okay A nice little dinner at our favorite Chef Gabriel's Media Her first name Patsy Doesn't it suck when you meet someone Five six times but you still can't remember their name first name? Patsy. P-A-T-S-Y. I just...

Doesn't it suck when you meet someone five, six times but you still can't remember their name? She'll be offended by that. You've been to our house multiple times when she was there. In the last, like, year. Really. It's not like it was ten years ago. I love her. I love her husband. I love her ex-husband. She's probably not happy about that.

No, she's cool. Yeah, so, shout out to mom and media happy birthday mom and then the other one i got which uh we we made any word on how she was woken up or you son of a bitch her husband enjoyed that yesterday or he didn't. We may not have. I mean, eventually, if you keep going, they will stop listening. That's a good point. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. At some point. We also missed a birthday yesterday on Business Wednesday, the 18th birthday. Go ahead. Just keep going. You're on video. i'm just not it's time to uh i'm getting hot you know i get hot during the show yeah i know yeah put it on there now put it on there

so i was taking off i had two shirts on the plane and i had to have my wife. I'm like, hey, hold this shirt so I could take off my shirt on the plane. Like I had layered just in case I got too hot. I tried to be prepared. You got a little chilly. Yeah, but nobody can see you. The people across the aisle, yeah. I'm on a plane with a million people. Everyone is facing this way.

Do you wear a mask? What do you mean? You think I'm behind all the people somehow? There's rows of people back there and I'm in one row. If you're sitting in your seat and your shirt's... No, I'm standing. I stood up.

That's weird. That part's weird. Yeah. But it doesn't matter. I'm just picturing you seated. I'm going to get back to this birthday. I wore a mask when getting seated. Okay. And then once the plane got going... That's probably logical. logical well i've bought into that there's really good air circulation yeah i do remember hearing that early on and then when you're in that little tube walking in and you're slowly you know just shuffling along and well people are hacking up along it's interesting because you i i remember hearing that about covid except the first thing I thought was, how come it seems like when someone farts, it stays in here for 20 minutes?

Ooh. Like an airplane fart lingers worse than any other fart. That's interesting. And like, I'm not saying I've never done it. There's too many people on there for them to know for sure. I know, but I hate that that game though because if someone else does it oh yeah it turns into like a like a mystery thriller well then you think everyone think it's me i'm the fat guy but you know if i smell it i'm like there's no way i could find out

who did this but if i do it i know everyone is staring at me did we talk about this a couple weeks ago do you guys remember when somebody or yourself would fart in class like you just couldn't even if you could make it silent there's only 15 to 20 people in there would you do it on purpose loud no oh that was you i don't remember maybe i just remember like pretty quickly unlike on the plane you could zero in on where that fart came from in a small classroom and it was just like the most embarrassing thing ever. Girls start giggling. I hated that your friend's farts, like you could identify who it came from. Like that's so gross to me, but everyone kind of has a fart smell.

Interesting. I didn't know that. I would assume it's based on diet, but. Yeah, but really you never had that friend that would assume it's based on diet, but... Yeah, but... Really, you never had that friend that would fart and you just knew it was his? Maybe by sound. But I don't know if by smell. I don't know.

We went through a fart era in the den. Remember that? Well, we did, I guess, at the hands of you. Oh, we're a show. I don't know. Did we? He was farting. We had a fart era in the den? you. Oh, we're a show. I don't know. Did we? He was farting. We had a fart era in the den?

Oh, he was farting on mic. Oh, okay. But yeah, I was in studio for that. Yeah. Yeah. And he would hike up. This is on the ticket. He would make a grunt.

Back in the 80s. He would make a grunt face. And he would kind of raise his leg up to expose it to me a little bit. It was horrible. Yeah. One of the greatest parts of Ham is he had a no farting rule, which I respected. You know who didn't have that rule was Danny. I remember when I was bored off and Danny was producer, he would just let it go.

I'm like, that's disgusting. It is. So yesterday we missed the 18th birthday of one Barron Trump. And now he is allowed to legally vape. Is he like 6'6"? Yeah. 6'7". Dude, did you see someone on Twitter that we know, like a listener, works for a dentist?

And I guess they had to extract some teeth from an 18-year-old because of vaping. Oh, no. Yeah, like they vape always in the same spot. If you're always sucking in on the left side of your mouth or something, it really affects... I don't know how much vaping... I'll switch it up.

...this would take, but... Well, if you're 18, I mean, you haven't been at it that long, even if you started early. Well, but it was a kid. It was a high school kid. So this just gives us an excuse. I bring up that Baron is now legally allowed to vape. Because it is my contention that they banned Juul in certain states, and they banned the different flavors because Melania found Baron's Vape. I'm totally buying that.

And I honestly, when I went to the 7-Eleven near Mar-a-Lago when I was on my Trail of Tears, I bought all the rest of the mint ones they had. The guy was like, I can't order these anymore And I was like give me all of them So it was nice to buy them But I know Baron was probably having Secret Service Go pick him up

So you still vape right? They limited the flavors It just doesn't taste as good? No It almost tastes like nothing You're just getting a little oral fixation and a nicotine fix. That's really weird. And you can still buy crazy flavors of other brands.

But it's just that one company. Yeah, like my local gas station, it's like a whole wall of fruity flavors for these other products. But you don't like that? Nah. It's like a different cigarette brand or something? Yeah, I guess. Or chew? It gives us an excuse, though,

to play the time that Trump had to ban vaping because Barron got in trouble and he called a very impromptu, hasty press conference. We have a problem. It's a problem nobody really thought about too much. Oh. We have a problem in our country. It's a new problem. It's a problem nobody really thought about. We have a problem in our country. It's a new problem.

It's a problem nobody really thought about too much a few years ago, and it's called vaping, especially vaping as it pertains to innocent children. And they're coming home and they're saying, Mom, I want to vape. And the parents don't know too much about it. And nobody knows too much about it. Oh, that's awesome.

Mom, I want to vape. That's what they come home and say. It's these innocent children. Oh. I just remember watching that press conference being like, what the hell is going on right now? Why did he randomly call the media together to talk about vaping? Mom, I want to vape.

People don't know too much. Was it just exhausting? I'm trying to remember Trump being president, but is it just something every day? Oh, yeah. It's just a new thing. Yeah. Like, he just loves the camera. He's out there every day. Oh, yeah. It's just a new thing. Yeah. He just loves the camera. He's out there every day. Yeah. And then everybody has to report on everything he says. Just talking trash.

Again, letting it rip. Get ready, brother. Are you putting money on it? I've had very poor luck betting on elections over the past 10 years, so it might be time to know when to fold them. So you lost Hillary. Yep. Then you bet on Trump against Biden. Yep.

I've wet the beak on a couple of other smaller races as well that I thought might turn out my way. You know what? If I could have, I would have, but I did not. So yeah. Happy birthday to Barron Trump and my mom. All right. you know what if I could have I would have but I did not so yeah happy birthday to Barron Trump and my mom alright um let's see

let's do this let's do Paris after like sports and a break okay because I do think I know you have cowboy stuff and you say that's going to take the bulk of our cowboy time maybe but so much happened or i guess didn't happen when i was gone like could cowboy free agency have gone any worse? I guess they could have not signed Eric Kendricks,

the one player that they brought in from the outside. But outside of that, no. I mean, they were the last team to sign a free agent from the outside. And they signed one. And they lose Tyron. Yeah, and that's – at first I was kind of trying to give them the benefit of the doubt on that because, you know, we criticize Jerry for holding onto players for too long sometimes,

like that he just gets too emotionally attached and past their prime. He's willing to keep paying them. But then when I saw the breakdown of the contract – It's very team-friendly, so they only have to pay him if he plays a lot. And if he's playing, he's going to play well. You would have to think so. He's never been out there and he's been a shell of himself.

He was awesome last year. And so the only thing I was telling Blake the other day was maybe they were worried that they would have to reshuffle the offensive line multiple times throughout the year if he does miss games. So, yes, if he misses games, you don't have to pay him, but you also have to move Tyler Smith to left tackle. Now you have to find a guard.

Basically what they've had to do before whenever he was out. And maybe that was a part of the reason because the contract itself, there's no reason they shouldn't have been in on that. Yeah, didn't last year, though, they didn't move Tyler Smith when he did miss a couple games. Correct. Because Tyler Smith, they just wanted the continuity of him being locked in at guard, which it just feels like they've put themselves in a really bad position coming up to the draft.

Yeah, especially since it's not like they're flush with picks. And also, Tyron, that's a very good lesson that if we haven't learned it by now after listening to the lawyer roundtable, is the company, no matter who it is, is not for you in the end. He took a very team-friendly deal before, and with the thought of, you know,

get rewarded in the, you know, longevity, you know, all that kind of stuff. Hall of Famer. Yeah, don't you think he's probably a first ballot? Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. I know I was wrong about DeMarcus Ware, but a hundred percent. And Joe Thomas.

He was absolutely the best. I was wrong about Joe Thomas. Yeah, no, they're in a bad spot, and you're right. He bent over backwards, no pun intended, multiple times for them. Took a good deal. It was a good deal for the team. Great deal. And then, yeah, and then this is how it all ends.

And that seems, oh, it's very disappointing. I don't think Pollard's great, but they lose Pollard. And wait, did I see Saquon went to Philly? Yeah. Holy shit. Oh, yeah. And they're not in on that? Like, Saquon is, I'd say, in his prime.

This isn't like Zeke leaving. He's still good when he's good. Yeah, but, you know, it's just injuries. The whole point, and I heard you guys say this on Monday, and I think we said it before. When you say we're going all in, you can't just mean we're not doing a goddamn, like nothing. They're not doing anything.

No. They're not going all, let alone going all in. Man, that turned into just absolute catnip for Jerry. Like. What? He never wanted to use that term. He heard somebody say it and somebody asked him about it, probably got written in an article.

You know he knows everything. Yeah, we're all in, of course. Yeah, because what else can he say? Like he's boxed in at that point. Well, you got to say we're always all in. We're always, you know, we're always turning over every stone and all that, which is complete horse crap. That's what I was going to say. Because then if you don't do it, everyone's just going to keep asking you about it.

Like, remember that audio I played you from their podcast? Or excuse me. It was like the podcast that kt and sod are on yeah where they were talking about the day that stephen jones got a trade offer in the draft room and didn't even yeah look up the player or call them back or anything like they're not always scouring everything. It's kind of amazing how good they are. But when you're at this point, don't you have to... Forget about Jerry being a million years old. Don't you have to? Because you do have Dak. This is probably, you know, he's as good as he's ever going to be.

And if you're dicking around with his contract yeah you clearly could this be the last year of DAC man I think it's weird it hasn't been done yet I thought they would do it before free agency yeah to give them a little room a little breathing room and uh it feels like every day that gets more expensive like it's not the price ain't going down on Dak no I don't think so and he never bought his people never bought your the pie is only so big and we can only do so much and yeah it's uh it's a bad situation I wonder if it's the last year of Dak they have no other obviously no other plan where Pollard go uh Tennessee and what was that deal uh you know what I just pulled it up here isn't impressive Obviously no other plan. Where'd Pollard go? Tennessee.

And what was that deal? You know what? I just pulled it up here. Isn't it impressive? Three for 21. Yeah. You know, part of the problem too with their allocation of money at different positions is I'm pretty sure they still have six million on the cap for Zeke this year. I've heard.

So do you want to talk about... You shut up. Have you about, you shut up. Have you seen? You shut up. And maybe that's just planted by Zeke's people or whatever, but. What's the report? He could be back here.

That they're not rolling it out. Of course it was planted by Zeke's people. Would you have to pay him anything? Could you be like, hey, you know, we still have to pay you. We're still paying you $6,000. The $9,000 from before.

What if we just call that even? He's going to give you a lunch card. Man. It's bad, dude. It's bad. So, yeah, now you head into the draft. You have to have a running back. So now when...

I got Rico Dattel and Deuce Vaughn. Please, Deuce Vaughn. What a joke that was. But I like Rico Dattel. Yeah. Yeah, and he was cheap. Nice tandem. Yeah. Piece of a tandem. Yeah, but... Deuce Va was a nice tandem yeah but piece of a tandem yeah but

deuce vaughn is not a good piece of a tandem okay let's go down the positions you need in the draft you need a guard need a center or left tackle i'm not sure which one yeah you need whatever tyler smith doesn't play you need a center you guys want to need a running back you guys want to guess who is currently listed as their starting center on the r lads depth chart brock hoffman who is a person for sure yeah who's that he sounds like a fake uh replacement player in madden when they don't know the real name what happened to the guy that was he has a big camp spin from college oh josh ball yeah uh tackle is he still just kind nothing? Obviously, he couldn't force his way into the... He is currently listed as the backup right guard

as last year they started moving him to the inside. Left guard? Starting left guard? He played a little last year. I don't remember his name. TJ Bass. That's right. Yeah.

And he played a little right guard too, I think you need sounds like a member of a starting offensive line starting offensive lineman you need a running back a starting running back because or at least someone that can go in tandem with dowdle they let michael gallup go did you see that oh oh yeah yeah i did see you had to bring that up no i thought that was so that whole michael gallup thing was such a charade as well like everyone knew they had to they probably had to release him do you remember the first report was it calvin walk-in somebody put out like something straight from the agent of that that that you know should he be released interest will be very high and is he signed anywhere he's he's signed with um i don't know why tennessee comes to mind maybe

that's because of pauler but yeah he's he got a deal somewhere no not yet oh really yeah boy that amari cooper deal he's what a mess taking meetings. So there's a little interest there. Yeah, interest is there. Oh, yeah, visiting the Ravens. Okay, so you probably need a receiver. Every receiver visits the Ravens. Don't forget Jalen Tolbert. Breakout. Yeah, I don't think he's that bad. But anyway, that's just on the offense. And what is that?

Four positions? Three or four, yeah. Okay, then Hankins just signed a deal somewhere else. So you probably need a defensive tackle. You need more linebacker help. Oh my gosh, yeah. Get that redshirt year off of Overshawn. Yeah, coming off an ACL. You signed Kendricks, but still, that's a lot of holes to fill in the draft.

So you're also not guaranteed, if you have a first and second rounder, aren't guaranteed to be day one starters. As we found out last year. Yeah. Yeah. Also. Because they found out last year. Yeah. Yeah. Also. Because they don't have a high pick. They did bring back Jordan Lewis because I guess they're comfortable enough with Daron Bland being opposite Diggs, but they lost Gilmore. So when you were able to have like the ability of like, man, we can just throw so many solid

Gilmore signs somewhere else. He hasn't signed here. Okay. I know he's, he was getting up there anyway, but. Yeah. But if you could bring him back, I you would considering you're now you kind of have to lewis as your corner yeah what a mess well they'll still make the playoff you know and this is what i'll be great they probably will and this is what i was telling blake on monday but this year mccarthy's

gone if they don't advance to every year the uh the reason i think that they. And this is what I was telling Blake on Monday. But this year, McCarthy's gone if they don't advance to the top. Every year. The reason I think that they're doing this is pretty clear. It's that they're going to give Max, quote-unquote Max, top-of-the-market deals to all of their stars, and that's what they care about. And it's worked out somewhat well for them. To Micah, to CD.

Like, when you see what Calvin Ridley just signed for, it's almost what they wouldn't pay A.J. Brown in Tennessee. Yeah, so CD's getting $30 million a year. Micah will be the highest-paid defensive player in the league. You already gave a pretty high dollar deal to Diggs. You know, they want the stars. And they'll get you 12 wins. Did we play that?

I think we did. What if they do that? But Steven, again, I mean, hey, I guess we're terrible. We won 12 games. Won 12 games three years in a row. I mean, it's I guess we're terrible. We won 12 games. Won 12 games three years in a row. I mean, it's just terrible. That's a good argument. Yeah, I mean, they have

won a lot of games. Yeah. And I think that's the way they like it. I don't know that it really kills them. You know, because as I have a story in the news, Jerry just, it's just so crazy to get press releases about the general manager of the team that you're a fan of, but they're about him putting a hundred million more dollars into

an equity fund for an oil shale field, you know, natural gas field. Comstock, Dan, which he is now, after putting in a hundred million dollars, a 67% owner of. You played some audio a couple of years ago of him being on what? CNBC or something? Yeah. NBC Business. It was about Comstock, right? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. He's just sounded so brilliant. Yeah. Yet we've heard him blockchain calm and sound. That's what I had in mind when the proposition of blockchain com blockchain com named after the very essence of what it is to begin with blockchain com as it turns out blockchain com is what one of the founding people of the total concept of blockchain. It's so true, Zergy.

You know what I would pay money to see? Right above my excitement for Paul, brother, and Tyson on pay-per-view would be to put Dez and Jerry in a room and have them both try to explain crypto to each other. Let's do that. We can do that with audio. Yeah, because that's not that much better than what Des went with. I'm going to write that down, Blake, because you don't write things down for me anymore. Whoa, you all right?

Yeah, but still, my point was just he's got so much else going on. You can't convince me that he's like really, really busted up when they win 12 games but don't make it further in the playoffs. Because they still won 12 games. He's still the highest rated team. He was busted up when they were 5-11 three years in a row. That doesn't play because that gets you on at noon. And that gets you on at noon.

That gets you to swallow your pride and hire Parcells. Yeah. We should have thought about that. He wasn't about to hire Belichick. No. He was going to break the bank for Belichick. To his point, nobody else was either. Well. But yeah, we should have thought about that. He wasn't about to hire Belichick. No. He was going to break the bank for Belichick. To his point, nobody else was either. Well.

But still. But it seems like if there's a team that's on the cusp and ready to, what's their one thing they can't do, what Belichick can do, help you win the playoff. I just finished the Belichick book, so I'm kind of stoked on Belichick right now. Right now? Yeah. So the other Cowboys story that you missed

while you were gone is the Dak story. You looking forward to the Saban-Belichick Monday night football with the Mannings? Like are they going to do something? He's going to have to do something. He's going to have a podcast. He's going to do college game day or something.

I will absolutely watch it. I hope they commentate the Tyson fight. Snoop Dogg? Throw Snoop in there? What was the fight that he did? It was Tyson, wasn't it? Or something we watched. I feel

like the Paul brother was somehow associated with that. It was Tyson somebody or something. And Snoop was doing... Maybe it was Jake Paul. Yeah, it could be. I don't know. Either one. The fact that they're together is so great.

But now Dak. We filed a report over the alleged incident in 2017 where she claims that she was sexually assaulted in a parking lot of a strip club. Dak's attorneys filed an extortion lawsuit. And, of course, Dak has denied the allegations so it's just another thing do you think they got rid of Tyron because he was a witness in Jerry's sexual assault claim the fact that you can even put that sentence together is quite funny

he was a witness for Jerry though, right? Well, they just say he was there. Yeah. He was there in the Tom Landry room. Yeah. With Zeke and Tyrone Crawford or somebody.

Yeah. Well, we got an email from a guy who is a lawyer and I'm not going to read it word for word, but he contends that, and I wouldn't just reject this out of hand, that the Cowboys, when they are aware of an incident, they will go to that plaintiff and say, Hey, here's a bag of money. Here's an NDA. We'll tell you whenever you can sue. We know that situations happen with local police departments where they call in Mike the Cleaner before something gets out, and they take care of it. Is this when the Dez Walmart video came out?

Yeah, but it didn't come out, but it was rumors about it. Yeah, so yeah, the timing of this has always been fishy. Yeah, you know, Zeke had a couple of issues that would pop up when it was contract time. Yeah. You know, Zeke had a couple of issues that would pop up when it was contract time. And he lists a couple of actual attorneys who are apparently always involved in these things. So, I don't know. I would buy it. It is a soap opera.

I mean, you've said before, it is just Succession. So, think about, was the guy on Succession's name that had had the really long neck in the last season? Oh, yeah. The little guy? Yeah. And then Kendall goes to him and he's like, Hugo. Yeah.

Hugo. And he goes to him and he's like, Hey, listen, I'm not going to tell anybody about this, but I now own you. Stuff like that. I could absolutely see the Cowboys. I could see a lot of teams doing that. Businesses do it in general, but I definitely could see the Cowboys doing that and timing these things out based on contract situations. Yeah, and it does seem like a Cowboys thing to do because

it doesn't seem to ever work. Like the Zeke thing. Didn't matter. They still. That's true. They still ended up taking it in the shorts on that, Zeke. And that was, you know, if you're Jerry, you might be thinking, man, all I did is defend you to the NFL and said you never did anything in college and fought your suspension and blah, blah, blah blah that's a good

point now you're maybe yeah i don't know bending me over on this but they you also don't know what does everybody know what everybody's doing within the organization no like is steven on the same page as jerry does steven know you know because how often you've mentioned this before that jerry will kind of swoop in and i'll i'll get this negotiation done yeah with demarcus lawrence that was uh the most recent one i recall yeah and demarcus even said in that in that interview we played like that he told steven kind of cucked him a little bit was like why don't you call your dad? Yeah.

I want to talk to the guy in charge. I know he's going to get this done. Even the Randy Gregory thing. Yeah. I think he and Jerry had a deal, but then once Stephen got involved, that's when he began shopping. I can feel that. Yeah, of course.

But piggybacking off of what you said, what big contract situation have the cowboys come out on top of because they waited on dac that didn't work no physique thing didn't work they got in early on jalen smith that didn't work yeah i mean they overpaid romo early that didn't work they overpaid romo later that didn't work they paid michael gallup when he couldn't walk they paid the roy william the receiver, too much at the time. Kind of like the only big win they've had is probably, as you mentioned, DeMarco Murray. Just saying no.

We're not interested in that. And don't you remember? I remember you saying at the time, like, hey, this is great. The Cowboys are now one of the teams that do things right in the NFL. Oh, yeah. And then they drafted Zeke two years later. But even when it was time to pay Zeke, I remember watching the interview of Jerry at training camp and him saying, you know, you don't have to have an elite running back to be successful.

He said that during the negotiations, and I was like, hell yeah. Right. Let's go. He gets it now. And then they overpaid Zeke, and they're still paying him him this year they gave him the most unmovable contract in the history of the sport that vested three years ahead of time every season and then the big story of the uh training camp was Zach Martin wanted a new deal and Jerry said ah nope nope not gonna budge and then they budge yeah it's all just a bunch of bullsh but I guess what I'm saying is there's a lot more going on that i think we think there is there has to be that'd be great to ever know all the oh my god i guess that's like knowing all the government secrets right you're never going to no i mean i obviously the guy we used to always think like what if he wrote a book was Rich.

Or Roosevelt. Yeah, or Roosevelt. He would have a different... Yeah, but Rich knows. I mean, he's got a cemetery. But, you know, obviously that was never going to happen. I'm certain he was well taken care of, right? Sure. Like, probably continues to be.

I would think so like they ended up getting rid of him but they said look it's just because we have to we we don't want to i don't think what you did is that bad taking a few pictures that's fine we've all done it you know you did mix in one of my daughter you mix in one of my daughter but you know what she's hot we get get it. Yeah. He wouldn't be the first powerful man to publicly comment or tell colleagues how hot his daughter is.

True. There are others. Not too much. Well, that's good cowboys talk, Dan. That is good cowboys. Let's applaud ourselves. We did a great job there. One other.

Okay, you got another Cowboy thing or Sports thing? No, it's just Sports thing. Go ahead. Oh, Tony. Oh, my gosh, yeah. We may have to just do it tomorrow because it's such a big story. I want to make sure we get plenty of time for France talk, but I don't know. I listen to John Boy's podcast.

Oh, really? It's pretty much just him reading the article and being like, what the F? But I've read three or four. So the story comes out that Otani's interpreter was gambling on baseball. Otani had to pay off his debts and all that kind of stuff. Well, it's very, very murky. We still just don't know.

And Otani paid it himself. Yeah. He didn't pay the guy money, and he said it was because. He didn't want him to gamble it away. Yeah, like if I just gave him the money, I thought he'd gamble the money away. But to me. Why am I seeing theft? Well, because, and this is such a complicated story.

Maybe we'll have more info on it tomorrow, and that'll be a better conversation. But the crazy part is is the timeline is this. He knew that this story was going to come out because the interpreter, because the illegal bookie in California that he was using was under a federal probe. And so they were about to get hit and he knew that. So he went to the team and to Otani's lawyers and was like, Hey, I'm in some shit here. Um, my, my name is in this. And so is Shohei's because Shohei's names are on the wire transfers when he paid off my debts. So Shohei's lawyers told him, all right, so you had a gambling problem and Shohei paid it off for you that's not bad for us so he went and

did a 90-minute interview with ESPN on Tuesday night and told them everything and told them hey I have a gambling problem Shohei knew about it he felt bad for me I was there whenever he paid the money because that's where that line of he didn't want to give me the money came from. He told him everything as he saw it. And then the people at ESPN contacted the attorneys and were like, you know what this guy just told us? He told us that Shohei actually paid these debts personally. And the lawyers then said, that guy's a liar. He recants everything. And the next day, the guy came out and was like, actually, Sho he never knew about any of it i stole you know it's theft like he completely walked back a 90 minute interview where he gave a blow by blow to reporters and you have to think like jeff passon is just sitting there with his jaw on the floor like why are you telling me this

and so the lawyers find out how much that guy actually sang and then the next day told espn that guy's a liar why would you believe anything he said it's not lost on me that it's kind of funny that this guy is a translator he couldn't get this information was somehow completely wrong one way or the other based on a 48 hour period and so now they're saying he actually stole that money from Shohei and that it's theft. That's where the theft angle comes in. But Shohei sent it.

Yeah. Like his name's on the way. Yeah, but they're going to try to say that the guy hacked his account or logged in or something, you know. But his name is definitely on two $500,000 wire transfers. The total was $4.5 million. So is the first thing – I want to know the first thing you thought of and if it's the same thing as me when I heard this story.

I don't – I don't know. It's based on someone once gave advice. Maybe it was an NFL player. Oh, you got to have a fall guy? You've got to have a fall guy, and this guy is Shohei's fall guy. Yeah, maybe. He's going to take all the heat. He's going to say whatever he has to say to keep Shohei out of it,

although he obviously said the things he shouldn't have said in the beginning. Yeah. But that Shohei is involved in this gambling somehow. It's a lot easier if you have a fall guy just like you had a uh a eighth of weed in your car or something and you need him to take the rap for it then hey we've committed some federal financial crimes but also now this is see this is why i want to talk to haralabob someday soon just because game there's so much gambling stuff going on now. It's very hard to now separate sports from gambling, and guys can't be involved in gambling at all.

The NFL once suspended people just for promoting a casino. Yeah. And obviously Pete Rose for life, but the best player, the most marketable worldwide player in Major League Baseball now, Major League Baseball wants to help cover this up if there's any way to do so. They need the teat of gambling money to keep coming in. They want the teat of gambling money, and they don't want the stain of... Yeah.

Like, they're going to be up against... Like, we have to ban Shohei Otani from baseball. And then he would just go play in Japan. Well, I'm excited to see him play at shooting guard for the Texas Legends. Explain that. Just Michael Jordan had to leave the NBA. Oh, okay. And then decided to play baseball.

Burlington Barons, Texas Legends. Yeah, so let's just Come be a two guard. I like it. You know what I just thought of when you were mentioning the promoting casinos thing? Do you remember whenever they made Romo cancel his fantasy football event? That was not that long ago. Yes, it was like DraftKings or somebody, right? Yeah, it was one of them.

It was at the start of fantasy football, like big time companies being involved in it. Yeah, that was just fantasy football. And I think it was, but I think it was going to be held in Vegas. And this was like within the last like 10 or 12 years. And now it's just, you cannot watch a game. Like half the screen is just gambling ads. Now, the funny thing, last thing I'll say on Otani today, before we get more info is the guy,

the guy did hit the Pete Rose line of never bet on baseball. Oh, well then. I'm a man of character. Yeah, I mean. So you're in the clubhouse every day. You have access to lineups. Yeah, you know things that are going on across the league, but you gambled $4 million or at least just lost that. Yeah, at least just lost that.

Oh, that's the other part of it too is that I don't know if this guy's actually said this on the record or not, but the guy who ran the book said, because people are like, why are you letting a translator run up a $4.5 million line of credit? And I think the reporting is that the guy was like, well, because the check said Shohei Ohtani on it, and I was pretty sure that at some point I could collect this.

I have the news. Because otherwise, I don't know what that guy makes. Let's say it's a couple hundred grand. No illegal book is letting you do that. No book ever is letting you do that unless they think you're backed by something much bigger. So the guy definitely knew. And I think there was another part of it where he would tell prospective bettors that they could bet with him and they could know it was safe because Shohei did. Like he was pimping Shohei's involvement as like an advertisement for his book. Because hey, why not?

Shohei bets with me. It's a crazy story, dude. It's a crazy, crazy story. Because even if Shohei's account is true, or the guy's first account I should say is true, and Shohei never was gambling and he just paid guy's first account, I should say, is true, and Shohei never was gambling and he just paid an illegal book out of his own account, that's still a felony. You can't do that.

It got me to thinking, though, about what if it was a parent? If you had a kid who ran up $50,,000 in debt to like a drug dealer and you paid it, are you now? Obviously it's a little different if it's a wire transfer to a book that's more federal, but cause I definitely have friends. I'll go with friends instead of buddy this time who have had their parents

clean up messes for them when they got sideways or something. Really? Yeah. Like it's, I'm going to the law, or I need this money. So I don't know. I don't know what the difference is, but everybody is saying that the fact

that he wired the money by itself, big, big crime. Bigly. Anyways. Anyways. Good thing the Rangers didn't sign Shohei. So avoid him in your fantasy baseball drafts coming up. Blake's gonna. Because Blake wants to swoop in.

Yeah, that's a good move. Alright. The Dumbs Up. Dumbs Up. People are asking, why is the fastest growing Apple podcast called The Dumb Zone? Frederick Douglass.

Debates. I don't know what that means. Lincoln Douglass? Am I the only one who's the most famous series of debates that have ever occurred? I don't know. don't know do you know no well it must not be because of jake kemp after all he has a master's degree you've never heard of the lincoln douglas debates abraham lincoln and frederick douglas debated like half a dozen times or something and it was like a healing moment for the nation.

It's thought of as like one of the high points of discourse. And you know what? Whatever. But it turns out that master's degree is from Texas State University. Wait, I'm 100% wrong. Golly. Were you not going to say anything? What is it?

So what was it? It's Douglas, but it's not Finkley. Now, who is the Douglas? Stephen Douglas. Can Jake get out of this hole that he's digging? Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglas were, like, very close. This is our lowest. I do know that.

No, it's not. It is. This is the worst moment we've ever had. Yeah, but you thought. I thought they debated. That there are public debates between a white man and a black man in the 1850s. Frederick Douglass was, like, a public intellectual. Listen how this smart guy with his fancy degrees

tries to change the argument. Okay, so I'm just saying, it was not impossible that he could have been involved in a debate. He was friends with Abraham Lincoln. Just like Nixon-Kennedy or Trump versus Hillary,

good friends often publicly debate each other. Am I wrong that Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln were friends? Just keep going. You have to read the next birthday. The Dumb Zone. Recorded live to tape on a podcast

near you today. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. Don't fuck me. At least I didn't do that to you. Be a good friend, Blake. Hey, who's your 12-5 upset?

Is it bracket time? Yeah. Yeah, actually, I was getting hammered by people in France about, hey, get your bracket in, or are you going to join my pool? No. You've been overseas, so you know you're just really disconnected from everything. Yeah. The only sports that I knew about when I was there that I was following Twitter and stuff,

because I like to see if we're trending. When I was there, I was following Twitter and stuff because I like to see if we're trending. But the only sporting thing I knew about was the Madonna statue was being unveiled. Are we all happy with it? Yeah, it's a cool statue. Okay. You didn't miss any Cowboys news. There was one thing you missed that I thought was pretty cool that I have a video of if you want to fire it up.

I think this is good news for you as your second team has signed a certain backup quarterback. Jameis is a Cleveland Brown. Oh, really? Yeah. No way. So went and... They needed him to...

They needed someone with a clean record when it comes to women to... So when Deshaun Watson... Mentor Deshaun Watson. Wow, that's great. Misses five or six games. What'd that cost? How did the Cowboys not get that?

It wasn't much. It was like seven or eight million or something. No. So yeah, you may see some Jameis next year. But the Cowboys can't afford it because they have a quarterback who makes a lot. Well, actually, Dan. Oh, really? You're saying the team with the quarterback that makes the most?

$4 million. Wow, that's great. Is there any doubt? Wow. See, I'm missing all this stuff. Like Saquon. I learned Saquon last night. Wow.

See, I'm missing all this stuff. Like Saquon. I learned Saquon last night. He will have, possibly in a potential new studio in Colorado, he will have a Jameis Browns jersey. All right, here we go. This is Jameis in the Cleveland practice facility. Getting to know his new center.

Making some line calls. Look at him. He's in his suit. A little fake carry out of a handoff. That is awesome. That was the day he signed. He's just like, hey, where's my center? We got to get this.

We got to get this going. That is great. Great teammate. He is a great teammate. Told you. Through 30 touchdowns his last year starting. Yeah. And 30 interceptions. And 30 intercept the the classic 30 30 club

the only one ever right yeah i believe so well look at it just right in the practice facility he didn't even take his coat off the center the center finds it hilarious he gets out to a pass pro stance he's so happy now what was my madonna note i kept uh that they didn't have three pucks coming off of it it looked like the anal beads like the dirt no just because of the uh i think we do you remember i told you my stars buddy mark who has been up in at one of our uh broadcasts our cowboy live streams i believe um he was the guy who first brought up to me like hey how come if dirk has a statue maybe it was around dirk statue time madonna doesn't have one i was like yeah you're right and that's when we started kind of talking about it he's taking credit for the statue yeah no no no my friend

mark is taking credit for the statue he texted me that day okay that's the only reason why i knew he said since you and i are responsible for mike madonna getting his statue i'll be there to uh represent and you know that was like at whatever time or maybe i woke up and saw that. So let me have a, oh, actually, so I want to shout out to Jeff Jones. He's the guy who did that fake promo for us. And I produced that fake promo flying back from Paris. Tons of time. Yeah.

A lot of time. I started watching your documentary, your Netflix doc that you told me to watch. from Paris. Tons of time. Yeah. A lot of time. I started watching your documentary, your Netflix doc that you told me to watch, but I haven't finished it. How long is the flight? I don't know. Nine? Yeah. Something like that.

Did you get that Wi-Fi? I tried not to think about it. Wi-Fi coming back, I did get, and I'm pissed because I'm over the ocean and it's not working. Oh. I paid the $30. The full flight. The full streaming one because I wanted to make sure it was working because I was going to get some clips and the streaming wouldn't work.

And so it says you can go online and dispute if your thing doesn't work. So am I going to go dispute it? It seems like a beating. It seems like a beating it seems like a beating so i don't know if i'll do that maybe they'll give you some miles yeah i could use some miles i guess if i ever go back on air france um but uh i can't remember what i was gonna say jeff uh oh jeff yes uh yeah so so But I also had Rob Our general

Our Rob Schindler Our main production guy Who has done a lot of things I had him record the same thing So you'll hear that Same promo again With Rob's voice

Okay why not And he's also the guy That made this for me Oh wait Not that Not that What did he make He made this

Bonjour you dumb fucks. It's time for Tales from Abroad. Here's your host. Me. Travel Dan. So he made that. Okay. And I don't know if I can listen to this for the whole 20-minute bed that he...

You're probably pretty tired of this song. Yeah, did they just have that playing at all times over there? This was the number one song. They did a countdown. I think it actually won, what's that, song contests? Yeah. Eurovision or something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is, every song parody is done to this. Every, yeah. Let's see here. A day of no more. A day of no more. They got a a normal parody?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything. Anyway, I'm going to pause this because I don't know if we can hear that for 20 minutes. I know I can't.

But, so, I'll start off with this. So, I had to, I booked on Air France, but it gives you, it's Delta. So, Delta on Air France, but it gives you its Delta. So Delta flies you from Dallas to Atlanta. Don't ever leave the airport.

So apparently Atlanta is the Delta hub. Yes. Like American is. DFW. DFW. So if you live in Atlanta, you probably have like a Delta Advantage credit card, which, by the way, my American Airlines Advantage credit card was kicking me in the dick for the last 10 days because every purchase I made over there, they would dispute it and it had to call me to make sure that it was me. Usually it only takes once. Yeah.

Right. Or you call beforehand. I did. I mean, I set it up. You're very thorough, so that's surprising. I set it up that it would be traveling, talk to somebody, and then every time it would say, you know, we have to call to confirm and then I'd have to type in.

So it was just such a beating, such a beating. And I want everybody to know this. They're not protecting you because some people, my wife will be like, oh, that's great because they don't want you to get scammed by somebody using your credit card. No. If somebody uses my credit card, I am not going to be liable for that. The credit card company is. So the reason they make this so difficult is to protect themselves. So they're not out to help you. And you're just trying to buy a hooker. I'm just trying to buy a 15 year old. I mean, come on. Rent! You don't buy. It's legal there, Jake.

I don't think it is. I thought you said it was. Or that was in 1300. Yeah, I'm sure. I didn't take it. He did go to a place where it is legal. But not in France. Okay. I think Amsterdam is way more highbrow than France when it comes to that.

So I'm on Delta, and we got the pilot that does bits. Oh, God, no. 35,000 feet. We'll go 800 nautical miles at 80% of the speed of sound. Just a couple of bumps on the climb up. Should be short-lived. I will turn the seatbelt sign off as soon as it's safe to do so we get to about 35 000 feet should be smooth for the duration of the flight just do me a favor keep that little picture of the seat

belt over your head and listen to me when i quack about the seat belts and please go ahead and honor that for your safety and everybody around you and for my crew in the back uh you wear your seat belt in a car going 55 miles an hour or 95 you may as well wearbelt in a car going 55 miles an hour or 95 if you're moving to California like I do. You may as well wear it in a jet going 500 miles an hour. I'm going to push back out there shortly. Taxi out to take off to the south. He had already done a couple bits

so then I had to pull out the phone. The airplane's going to see Dallas. We're going to be directly over the top of downtown Dallas. We can't see it. Look out the window because it's better than what's in a seatbelt. I'd like to thank you for choosing up the airlines. We are sincerely I don't know if we... He wants you to know that. Always about the military. And their families, so you're covered there.

Sure. Because your brother. I don't think i've ever heard a pilot talk that much you'll get chatty uh flight attendant that wants to kind of be the star of their own movie but i've never heard a pilot main character that hard is there a chance he could t-bone another plane up there why are we buckling up? He, uh... Yeah. So, like I said, he had already done a couple bits, then I pulled out the phone. But he wasn't done. Since the final data, we can't push until we have that data. However, not a lot of airplanes out there between us

and the runway, so I think we'll be able to make up some time on the taxi, as well as I will fly this airplane like a Ricky Bobby drives a race car, and try to get here as quickly and close to on time as I can. Of course, safety would be the priority over timing, but I think we can handle both of those quite easily today. Once we get to top of the climb,

I'll have a really good idea as to exactly what time we'll be at the gate. I don't think that's going to affect anyone's connection, so we should be moving here in just a minute. Thanks for your patience. Okay, yeah, Ricky Bobby. I want him to wreck the plane now. To crash the plane. Right, and then I could be possibly the only survivor.

Yeah. That kid coughed the entire time? So there was a coughing kid, but that was just the flight to Atlanta. So then we get to Atlanta, and now we have a layover of a couple hours, and then we're going to go to Paris. And now you get on an actual Air France. So now I'm on Air France, and I would like to report to you that I got a lot of feedback on, because I've been asking everybody, as you guys are probably really tired of,

hey, you got any jet lag tips, how to beat, because I was very worried about that. I'm soft. I'm a guy who is dedicated to his schedule, right? Oh, yeah. Get up at the same time, go to bed at the same time, eat the same things, do everything the same every day. And now I'm going to really throw a wrench into that by going to Paris. The time difference, let's see.

Is it seven? Is it seven is it seven uh so right now it is as we record live to tape six it's 144 here yeah and it's 744 there now this also occurred you didn't inform me in the news this so happened to occur um i left the day after daylight savings time so now i can't figure it boy is this really messed like i'm already messed up for an from an hour but i did the haralabob system which is the cia that the cia will tell you to fast for 12 hours 12 to 16 hours before you are to land and when you land have a nice meal and then spend the day and we were landing at like 1 a.m. Yeah. So I did that. My wife knew I was doing that, and she said, hey, when they come by to order meals, don't say no to your meal. So she had two meals.

Sure. Respect. I think I've been on her end of that before. Really? Oh, yeah. And now I can order both options. So what I did, I couldn't do it until we got to Atlanta. But once we got to Atlanta, I changed my phone settings so that I just had Paris time.

So I already knew, oh, my gosh, it's 9 p.m., it's 10 p.m. So whatever, even though it was bright outside, I said, oh my gosh, it's 11. This is when I go to bed. And that's when I just, I put on my eye mask and I tried to lay. Now, the good thing is I was in the middle. So there's three seats, an aisle, three seats, an aisle, three seats. My wife is on the aisle. three seats and aisle three seats my wife is on the aisle i was on the aisle of the middle part and there was no one in the middle seat oh whoa the best so i had a little room to spread my

long legs and try to put legs under there and did she ask to sit next to you uh no she also okay she also had an aisle with a middle seat open. Oh, okay. So she got lucky too. So it was very difficult though to sleep. Anytime I would fall asleep, it turns out, like I swear to God, this was every half hour or so and it would continue for a half hour. I would hear this. Oh.

Oh, no. Right behind me. Extreme crying kids. So I finally got to sleep. It's 1 a.m. in Paris. Our coughing kid's not so bad. I fell asleep, and this kid wakes me up. I'm like, oh, oh my gosh now i'm

awake again and so but but i stayed at least trying to sleep i figured even it you know i've done this before when trying to wake up for the musers fill-in show or something like i'm not sleeping but if i just lay here with my eyes closed and totally rest that's at least more sleeping than if i'm up reading or looking at the computer or the phone so i did that until 7 a.m and i think now one of haralabob's things was once you get there eat which i did. And then he says, you know, spend time in the sun, walk around. Well, it was very cold and very rainy all day long, but we had an umbrella and we just walked around outside, but it was like, boy, this is going to be a miserable week.

It turns out only two days were like that, but two days were very miserable and freezing. And plus our Airbnb wasn't ready, but they let us drop our bags off there. You just got to go kill time in the rain. Yeah. Now, getting through customs once you get to Paris, that took quite some time as well. It was kind of like a Six Flags, like back and forth line thing. It's a beating.

It was a big beating but especially you know it's you've just been on a flight for six to eight to ten to twelve hours yeah now you're standing there and luckily my wife did save like a yogurt from the breakfast option that they walked around offered when i was pretending to sleep and uh i ate that yogurt in the line i feel for the i mean used to i would get livid like with most things related to kids but i feel for the I mean, used to I would get livid, like with most things related to kids, but I feel for the parents so much in those situations. See, I felt exactly the same way. I'm not mad

at them. Where a lot of people are sitting around, probably younger. Yeah. Without kids. Would you put them on the plane? Yeah. You do wonder why you're spending that much money on a baby or whatever. Well, you're not paying. Yeah. Well, that kid was like seven or something. Oh, what a little bitch.

Yeah. That kid was a beating. Yeah. That kid was a thrashing. You would have hated that kid. It sounded like a beating. And the mom wasn't great either because I didn't record it, but the mom would end up just yelling for a half hour at the kid to stop.

Oh, that usually works. Oh, cool. But they were French. And so I couldn't understand anything. It was just terrible. So first thing, we're there. The first thing I do is we walked into a grocery store to buy a few things. At least, so I stayed in the city.

So I can't say this is all of France. And I can't say this is what suburbs would be like. But I was in the city. We were very close to the Eiffel Tower. Hell yeah. And she lives, my daughter is studying in France. And air quotes studying. Because I brought my other daughter, the older daughter,

and she's like, this is nothing but a blow off. She's not doing anything. She's giving jealousy. She was giving jealousy. Ooh, I got to read our texts sometime. Maybe not all of them. One day I was texting with Jake when I was walking with the girls, and I let Ava just text with Jake.

Oh, I'm sure that went well. And I should look up that thread. But I'll get to that. I'm trying to go chronological here, because the first thing I did, we walked into a grocery store. After we went and found a little place to eat on Rue Claire, turns out Rue means street.

Yeah. And I figured that out pretty early, because they got Rue St. Dominique, Rue Claire, but Rue Claire is a pretty cool little street. The worst place we ate was the first place we ate, and I guess it was, I don't know why. Maybe I didn't really research it. I did some Yelp research after that.

What did you get that sucked? I don't know. It was like some kind of omelet or something. It was bad, and my younger daughter wasn't with us yet, the one who lives there. So we were like, you know, we said bonjour, but that's all we could say. And, you know, they know right away you're an idiot. And they just, they point you to the bad stuff. And, you know, and it was good to have the younger daughter who had already been there

because she's like, don't do this, don't do that. I'm going to tell you one thing that you don't do that's great. The world of not tipping. I knew it. You don't tip over there? No. You pretty much only tip over here. Wow.

So you just ate your meal and paid for the food and left? You know what it's going to cost when you look at it. Man. Everybody pays the same amount. They say they pay their... It's a back house, front house equality thing. Well, they say they pay their people a living wage. So their minimum wage is probably whatever,

$20 an hour or whatever the equivalent would be. But they pay you well. They also don't have, and I got this intel going in from the great Justin. Justin and his wife, Hannah, go to Paris quite often. Hannah is really stoked on Paris, and they were invaluable. And a ton of people sent me different stuff but he talked to us at length um it was very very helpful all the uh I don't know if you got this when you went overseas but yeah just getting a little intel ahead of time is great and the listener

has always been great about that yeah so I've always had a few at least rules of the road I had one guy say he was actually visiting Paris at the same time. And I shot him my phone number and stuff. He never reached out and I could see why. Cause once you're there, there's no time to like, Hey, I'm going to go hang out with some guy.

I, you know, like I could imagine him trying to tell his wife, I want to go meet this guy. Or you telling yours. I listened to his podcast. Oh, it's one of our listeners. I got to go branch off for a while.

But at least in the city grocery stores I was in, nothing in bulk. It isn't like when you see our grocery stores. All of the waters, so if there was an eight-pack of water or whatever, 20-pack of water, they're all open because people will just grab one out of there which i never see here no um i can't say that i have i feel like the portions were smaller like the yogurts were all smaller than our yogurts because i'll eat a yogurt every morning they had a whole aisle in the grocery store devoted to just biscuits. Interesting.

Such a weird observation. Yeah, I took a picture of it, like, oh my gosh. There is no big protein area. You know how we're stoked on protein here? Yeah. There's got to be workout guys in France, but it just didn't seem like when you go into a grocery store here, there's definitely going to be, oh, here's all the protein cereal.

I was looking for that. I think a lot of times that's farmed out to the butcher. They have butcher shops that are more common. But not like protein-based cereal. You know how there's protein this and protein bars? Oh, yeah, that's a very American thing. Okay, because I was looking for that stuff because I'll fire off a protein bar during the day. They didn't have any of that,

at least at the grocery stores I was at. At the grocery store I was at, though, at the counter, they have Jack Daniels, all the whiskey, vodka, Maker's Mark, all that kind of stuff, right there at the counter. So get your cereal, get your milk, get your tiny yogurt, and get a bottle of Jack Daniels. I mean, that's actually, that's how it is in a lot of places in America.

Is it? Okay. It's just not here. That Texas is a bit uptight about that? Yeah. Think about whenever we'd go to camp. Now that, like Vaughn's had like a full liquor beer situation, wine situation. It's common.

It's just not common in Texas. So these buildings, as we stated earlier, are like really, really old. I don't even know how. We got an apartment. We Airbnb'd an apartment. It was great. If anybody's ever going to Paris, I will hook you up with the Airbnb that we stayed at because it's well worth it. I'm sorry, real quick.

The pictures looked exactly like, you know how usually the pictures have deceived you? Like dating. It was great. It was the only review I've ever left. Really? I left a review. We always. Like I was so happy.

But we're in the you scratch my back. Okay. Jules. Prices for things like food and grocery store was it i mean i know there's a so i thought it was comparable okay very similar um so thanks a lot biden for ruin france but also then there was i think i think the uh the conversion rate i think i was actually paying an extra 10% than I thought. So if something said $20, it was actually $22 once it gets converted over to dollars. Because even at the restaurant, I didn't know if they would upcharge you knowing that you're not going to have to tip.

Well, I mean, whatever's on the... I mean, we'd pay... It would seem like every entree we ate was like $20. It isn't a big city, though. I mean, that's New York City. You're going to run into LA. Yeah. If you're going to visit,

Paris is a great, like, it just feels like they were so, and especially we're right around the Eiffel Tower, you're going to at least, they're going to speak at least some English or they're going to just be used to dealing with Americans and can help direct you in a certain way. So the first, oh, okay. And I was going to say, since the buildings

are so old, and I got this intel heading in from Hana, that they don't really have elevators. If you book a hotel, they'll have an elevator. But if you book an Airbnb they won't have an elevator and you'll probably have to walk up eight flights. This one had an elevator. Ooh. It was extremely small. You could only fit two people in there. Or if you had a big bag like I did

one person and your piece of luggage. And it took forever to get up six floors. Yeah, they're not it's not your standard of luggage. And it took forever to get up six floors. Yeah, it's not your standard hotel elevator. It would take two or three minutes just to get to the sixth floor. Kind of scary, too. Like there's a guy down there pulling the thing. It's not that far off.

But it was very, very cool. It kind of made you feel like, hey, I'm somewhere cool. like yeah hey i'm somewhere cool and um and again so then once i got to nighttime i kind of went to bed around 11 like i usually do i'm very stayed up all day i'm very susceptible and wife crashed for like an hour and a half it'd be bad uh i'm very if you remember i used to like set my clocks at home when i was not early morning guy. I would set my clock like 15 minutes ahead or like if I see something like I believe it. So I used to do the same in my car. Right.

Because I'm habitually late. So I used to put it like seven minutes ahead. So when we would go to California, I change all the clocks to Texas time. I want to just see that and know like I can't get up at, I can't go to work at 9 a.m. I had to go to work at noon, you know? So I think that helped me adjust to this because I was like, well, it's 11. I'm tired. I went to bed. I woke up the next morning like at 7. So I don't know. You beat the system. I feel like I handled the I feel like I did jet lag way better than I thought I would.

And then coming back it felt even easier because I didn't sleep at all on the way back and then I was really tired when I got home like it we got home at midnight I went to bed about 1230 and then woke up the next day at like 6, 630 because I just,

cause that's when I wake up. You beat the system. So I feel, I feel happy about that. Although I did like during the day yesterday, all of a sudden after our business meeting, I got, it was really beat just kind of,

I feel like that every Wednesday, but yeah, but especially yesterday. So now laundry, I will chronological order this and I'll tell you some more tomorrow. Because I know we have to get out of here by about 30 minutes or so. You know what? I'm not going to chronological because I want to make sure I can use some of the video and stuff that we have.

So let me tell you this. Let's start with the Louvre. That's the first thing we did day one or day two. Yeah, that's the Louvre. That's my older daughter, Ava, who came along with us. I'm so glad she came along with us because it would have been such a weird dynamic with just me and my wife and my one daughter. Yeah, I could see that. And they just were roasting us. They're roasting things in paris they're roasting the world it was great walking behind them just listening to them talk laughing at this and that but so the louvre is basically you're going to the louvre for two things first of all it's gigantic but you're going for two things. First of all, it's gigantic. But you're going for two things. You're going for

Venus de Milo, which I think was behind Ava there in that picture. And you're going for the Mona Lisa. And then they've got a million other things, too. Apparently, France used to pillage many other countries and steal their art. Did you think about, oh dear, did you think about, uh, chaining yourself to anything or throwing some paint at the Mona Lisa? I was thinking it would be very difficult to hit the Mona Lisa with soup because I do

have a picture of the Mona Lisa and- Gotta work your way through. You can't, you can't get very close to it. Really? That's as close as you could get? You, well, there's a whole, there's a big crowd of people in front of your way through you can't you can't get very close to it really that's as close as you could get you well there's a whole there's a big crowd of people in front of it but you can't like get right next to it man so you'd have to throw the bowl of soup and then for the soup to stay in the bowl like yeah it feels like it would be just very hard for the soup ever to get to the Mona Lisa so what you're saying a bag of spaghetti you're impressed by whoever did that

yes yes you would have to practice that for sure all these people look so french um one of my notes was that everybody there looks like uh where where is that note everyone in france looks like... What's his name? The NFL reporter. Rappaport. Oh, Ian Rappaport? Yeah, yeah.

I could see that. They all look like him. Let me just look at my Louvre notes. So many cool paintings. I wonder, how did the Mona Lisa rise above them all? Because a lot of things look really cool. That's valid. I've never understood it.

I mean. How does one thing get that famous? Do black people go to the Louvre? I saw more pregnant women than I saw black people at the Louvre. Just an observation I made. The details in many of the paintings were very, very cool. Some had like babies with horse legs. Like people were really into painting.

Okay, there's a lot of paint things that people are really into. Painting like humans that somewhat look, they have animal things going on with them too. Like a centaur type situation? Yeah. And they also love painting Jesus. Yeah. My goodness. It feels like that was the only thing people would paint for quite some time.

Now, which Jesus did they paint? It was very white Jesus. Yeah. Very, very white. A lot of Greeks, it's impossible to go through the whole louvre in a day they say um so you have to kind of pick what you want to see and what i wanted to see was whatever my wife wanted to see because i didn't care i was just there kind of surprised you were there was looking at the um a lot of the pictures of Jesus, just the logic behind hanging someone with three nails off a cross.

It's going to rip out of your hand, like just the weight. Yeah. Now, they did have a couple of more accurate photos from the side. You could see they would build like a little thing where you kind of stand on it, like his heels are on something, or there'd be rope tied around his chest as well. Like that made some sense. But you can't just hang someone off a cross with three nails. You're challenging the narrative of the hanging of Christ on the cross. The crucifixion.

Just saying, let's ask some questions. Let's not just believe everything that you see. It would have been kind of funny, almost like a Monty Python bit, though, if they hadn't thought about that. And they tried it with just the nail then he falls out they must have tried it with somebody and he's squirting blood everywhere but he's not dead oh man oh no that didn't work well he is still suffering so i mean that's what we wanted in the long run it just doesn't look as cool um oh well i say i didn't see many black people uh the asian oh yeah very well represented yep um do you ever happen to observe something i've pointed out before which i could

be totally wrong about this it's anecdotal but it's based on about half a dozen experiences i don't think they wait in line hmm like pretty much any big city you go to in Europe, wherever, there's going to be a lot of Asian tourists. And I've observed that like, hey, I'm standing here waiting for this elevator. They'll just go. They'll just run right in front of you? Yeah.

You know what? Now that you mention it, I did have that happen. And I think the people were Asian when we were trying to get down from the top of the Eiffel Tower. I don't know what it is. But, yeah. Like, hey, I've been standing here. There's a couple posts about it here. Not seeing me just stand here.

Let's see. I saw a 1649 painting of it. It looked like a book burning. Oh, my thought was went through the Egyptian area and a lot of Greek statues as well. Greeks were in better shape than Egyptians so they must have done a lot of protein. Jesus popular.

Oh, I saw someone wearing a Pacer's Halliburton jersey. Not a jersey tee, like the jersey. Yeah. He's been a little down lately. Walking through the Louvre. We call that a hoopster.

And then, let me tell you where we stayed. So, we're coming back from the Louvre, and it's great having a daughter who's been there for a month, because she can jet around to the metro, they call it. That's the subway. And, you know, I don't know what I'm doing. But she'll go buy the tickets and then tell us, you know, you go on this one and this one and this one. So we get off the metro and it turns out our apartment is right across, like the closest corner to our apartment was the actual spot where Princess Diana died. Wow.

The bridge where Princess Diana died. Did your wife have to stand there for a moment and just kind of take a knee? Yeah. Let it all wash over her? Well, she has the same memory I have. You know, Ed from the Cincinnati Reds? I do. My old friend.

Cincinnati Ed. His wedding night is when Princess Di died. And his wife was really stoked on that, that everybody, that's all they remember is Princess Di dying. We all learned about that at a bar when ed was playing pool after his reception wasn't there also uh a second component to that story that there was another married woman there like in her dress right in in the bar in a different corner there was another woman wearing her wedding dress looking really beaten that her husband was there with his friends and now since now princess die is dead right so what are we gonna do because you know how the lady doesn't like to walk in somewhere where somebody's wearing the same thing, especially if it's their wedding.

So, yeah, the very bridge. And if you're watching us on YouTube today, which we are on YouTube as well. well so you can see like this is the memorial and people will will get a lock and they will lock it on that chain and they will write their name on there and and like that's just i don't understand why but that's that's the princess die memorial like you you go get a lock you write your name on it or your name you and your wife's name or something, and then you hang it on that, and that's how you honor Princess Di. Okay.

And her dying. Okay. Yeah. And so when she resurrects and sees your name, she'll save you or something? Yeah, okay. Let me just look through my notes chronologically. I heard this a million times. Yeah. Okay. Let me just look through my notes chronologically.

I heard this a million times. Just the funny. Yeah. This siren. This is all you would hear every day. That doesn't exactly inspire fear. Yeah. It's kind of silly.

Oh, you want through? Why don't you get on a little bike? I wrote this note. Can your wife read a map? So it must be because I have one that can't and would always just walk us the wrong way or whatever. That's interesting. So even on like the phone map? On the phone.

Okay, I was going to say, maybe it'd be a little bit tough if I had to break out MapQuest. But on the phone, yeah, no, it's pretty straightforward. Kind of gives you directions. I mean, it'll actually verbally tell you then if you request it to. How's your daughter's French? She's very good at understanding it, not as good yet at speaking it and it's a bad bit when you live

in paris because she does not have to speak french all the time oh it's a good point when i lived in mexico i had to speak same there was i was in a small town yeah and like the family i lived with didn't speak a lick of english you know but people in paris want to practice their english with someone who speaks english and there's a lot of tourists in Paris want to practice their English with someone who speaks English. And there's a lot of tourists there for them to practice with. Yeah. I'm trying to see if there was any other video associated that I, since we are on video today,

I wanted to at least let a couple of those. I don't think I have any other videos. I did have another couple pictures. Have you ever heard of, so this is one of the last things we did. Do you know the catacombs? It's like tombs, right? Underground? Yeah, apparently like millions of bones

are under the catacombs. I think our friend TC was stoked on that for a while. And again, when it was, when we were, so you have to walk down whatever, a couple hundred steps just to get down to the bottom.

Then you walk, I don't know, it's probably a few blocks and then you walk up and you went through the catacombs. And see a bunch of skulls. And look at all the bones, how they're stacked really nicely. So they give you the big story,

but I don't know the whole story, but they found it, you know, back the big story, but I don't know the whole story, but they found it, you know, back in 1600, 1700. I don't know. It's funny. Um, I can't remember what we were talking about.

It might've been a historical site in Israel when I noticed this phenomenon, but what type of person Google reviews, the catacombs of Paris, it's got a 4.0. So it's not exactly, Oh, it's not the best. Google reviews the catacombs of Paris. It's got a 4.0, so it's not exactly... Oh, it's not the best. It's too dark. Yeah, I mean... It is pretty dark.

Just getting out of there and being like, fuck, one star. For like this thing that is a modern Marvel. Sucks. Okay, on the other side, five star. Why? Yeah, I don't know. It doesn't make a lot

of sense and do they have like the catacombs pr guy in there doing fake reviews actually bones are awesome you you'll be stoked on the bones we're sorry we you didn't enjoy your experience and i guess you come out of there everybody will come out with a different deep thought perhaps because my deep thought was, like, my daughter thought, oh, that's really cool because, you know, that they are preserved forever there and blah, blah, blah. And I thought, well, no, that just proves nothing means anything. Like, you could be a titan of industry or you were a you know a beggar in the streets and you're all it doesn't matter your bones are just right there all next to each other it's you're just what does anything mean i'm not surprised that was your reaction that was

my my deep thought is nothing means anything and you're just going to end up a bone. Damn, dude. Wow. Sorry. Sorry to do that for you. You're the new studio and everything. Yeah, no, no, no. The vibes were good.

I love the new studio. I love everything. Just a couple other quick hits, and then tomorrow what I'm going to do, I have some really funny audio from my trip to Amsterdam because we took a bike tour. It's intense, right? I will give you this teaser. You know how, what is your, I think you should leave skit that you really like? Ghost tour?

The ghost tour. Oh, yeah. Because you've been on a tour where somebody, the tour guide will say stuff. Multiple. In Boston. Boston was the first time I noticed it. Yeah, there's over laughter, there's fake laughter,

and you just don't understand why everyone else is laughing. Well, if English is your second language. Oh, shoot. It's very, it's endearing. Like, when they're trying to, when they tell bad jokes, I think it's funny. Like, I'm laughing along

and you're going to hear some of that. Okay. As long as you can make fun of someone for their identity. Well, no, it's just like, hey, they're trying hard. I think since you don't really even know the language, but you pulled off that joke,

that's pretty good. Okay. I'm laughing along with you, but if you know the language and you told that joke, oh my gosh. So you were the only person laughing. No, we were all, everybody was laughing. We were roaring. That lady was great. And she was the only lady we tipped.

Because she kind of asked for it at the end of the thing. Like, tips are welcome. I don't know if she sounded like that. We got to hear. You'll hear her. You'll hear her tomorrow. Tips are welcome.

Like which country? You'll hear her tomorrow. Okay. They were built between 1650 and 1675. After 75, there were only clockgables. These are all clockgables. Okay, you weren't that far off. Yes, I loved her.

Yeah. She looked pretty good? For like 60 years old, I do think she looked pretty good. But she was a bit weather-worn. I think she's been doing those bike tours for a while. A couple other quick hits. Ladies Be Tall in France. Do they have a good Olympic basketball team, ladies?

No idea. Because that's just a feeling I got, is I saw a lot of tall ladies. It just seemed like everybody was taller than my wife and way hotter. They had a— They're a little bit bigger on average, but not by much. The highway had just, they would just have a gas station at their rest stop. So you didn't have to get off and go navigate your way to the gas station. The gas station was just a quick pull off gas station, pull back on, which I thought was very efficient.

You were driving? No. Okay. Just when we were in an Uber going somewhere, probably just to and from the airport, really, or to and from the train station. We took a train to Amsterdam, which was great, which I'll tell you all about tomorrow. Oh, yeah. And then the other thing is they would alert you, like everybody told you, and put your wallet and your phone in your front pocket. Yeah.

Because pickpocket is, like Europe, they said, is well known for pickpockets, and they're very good at it. So people warned you about this? Yeah. Like my daughter said, you got to put your stuff in your front pocket. Wow. Because if you're in the subway system or you're in Amsterdam or wherever you are, the Louvre, you don't you will get your stuff stolen

out of your back pocket. So I would floss or something and then I would ball that up and put it in my back pocket or I'd blow my nose in a napkin and put it in my back pocket. Just in case somebody tried you? Yeah. Then they would get that. It's like somebody... Floss and tissue. Have you ever heard of people like pooping in a box

and wrapping it up and putting it on their porch if they've had a lot of thefts? Yeah, I've heard of stuff like that. The porch pirates. So that's today's edition of Travel Dan. What video do I have? Oh, okay. Yeah yeah because actually one day is this the same song you opened with no so one day actually i was so tired by the middle of the

week i guess we had because my wife wanted to go to 17 museums per day. So the second day, I think this is after we went to the Musee d'Orsay, which we'll talk about at length at some point as well. Monet? Overrated? Discuss. We'll get to that tomorrow. What a tease.

So this is outside the museum where I just wanted to chill. So they went off to more museums and I just sat and relaxed because I wanted that to be some of my, some of my Paris trip. I wanted just to be sitting and looking at Paris. Sure. And it was a real sunny day. And I was trying to soak in some sun and just... The old man... Okay.

I never have tracked this before, but let's take a look. Let me just give you a little example, and then we'll move on to the news. My example here is... All right, let me go back. Steps? Two weeks, yeah. So 1,600. I don't know what a lot is.

3,000. Hold on. 2,700. 1,600. These are the four days before I went to Paris. I was about to say, 1,600. before I went to Paris. I was about to say,

1600. So that's apparently what I get on average if we're doing the show in the den or if we're just living life in Texas. They tell you to try to get to 10,000 a day.

So let's go to day one in Paris after having not slept. 9,500. Here we go. 11,700. 11,500. Here we go. 11,700. 11,100.

10,000. Oh, and 69. 10, 69. So the point is, my legs were singing, baby. I mean, I was so sore. And this is my daughter's life. Yeah. And just up and down. She lives up six flights so she no elevator the wood

stairs are like worn like it's all like everything is kind of worn because it's so so old it's cool overall i'm going to say uh big thumbs up though I'm very glad I went you got the bug? I don't know I mean I probably want to do it again at some point like go somewhere different

it's a big world out there but it is very very cool it's very if you're going to go anywhere go somewhere like Paris your first time because then you said, what's it like, you know, imagine being in China where people don't even attempt to try and speak English. Yeah. I always just find myself when I am like, I'm struck by the thought when I do what you were describing where you sit on the park bench.

Yeah. you were describing where you sit on the park bench. Yeah. Like, damn, these people are here all the time. Like, I'm here right now, and I don't even think about the fact that there are just, there are a lot of people on Earth, and they're just doing all this stuff. People watching is very fun. Right now, they're doing it. Yeah, what are they doing?

I don't know. That's what I'm saying. It's overwhelming at times. Let's take a look in Paris right now. It's 8. 20 at night so really they're dinner time did you dinner i ate early okay they eat late they eat late but so that really worked for me because we could get an early reservation but sometimes many restaurants weren't even open till seven yeah and so you had it's a weird life get your reservation there

all right here's more tomorrow with the dumb so okay we're gonna go quick here this is sort of news this is sort of today in twitter but we do have a video i want to play for you guys from video man who attended the uh along with 80 000 other people the saint patrick's day parade last uh saturday greenville avenue. The one that Cuban once saved. And he was in a watering hole at the end of the parade. And something occurred. Do you want to play the video? And so at the end of the parade,

which apparently exists, local firefighters, pipe and drum band marched into the bar at the end of the parade. And I play this because, well, I think this is pretty cool. Is it a funeral? No. They're doing this for their fallen firefighters, but they played quite a bit. My question was for Dan of how beaten would you be by this?

I got the video and was like, that's cool. If I was in the bar at that time, I'd be videoing and being like, this is awesome. This feels like St. Patrick's Day. It's not bad, yeah. I feel like I this is awesome. This feels like St. Patrick's Day. No, it's not bad, yeah. I just, I feel like I've heard you. I would like to see that, but that is like the worst instrument in the world besides the sitar, isn't it?

It's very unique. It's an annoying instrument. To put it lightly. I feel like I've heard you take shots at the mariachi band before. No? I don't know. You might be confusingachi band before. No? I don't know. You might be confusing

me with something. I'm not a huge fan. Like when they just kind of hover? Oh, yeah, when they're at your table or something? That's what I'm saying. That's basically what this is. You don't have to pay them, but you're just... But if you're just happening upon this and... Talking with your buddies. If it is St. Patrick's Day, you're like,

oh, okay. I get it. don't make this a regular occurrence though by the way i thought you were gonna get up and just walk out saint patrick's day not acknowledged in france oh no no like you know how like here you all you know it everywhere there's gonna be something saint patrick's day yeah that's interesting. I wonder what other countries don't. I saw nothing indicating it was St. Patrick's Day. I mean, if I had to start, I would have guessed Kenya. Like, hey, green beer today or whatever.

That would have been a surprise to me. Yeah. Let's see. What else do I have for you here? Oh, I did mention earlier the Jerry story. Is that today in Twitter? Yeah, well, just. Because somebody had a bad bit they wanted to tell us about.

Okay, keep going. Ted Cruz on Twitter. I think I have him blocked. Well, it says 23 hours ago. So I'm sure he's got 8,000 things between then and now. Sign up for the Cruise College Championship Pick'em Challenge at tedcruise.org slash hoops for a chance to win a game of pickup basketball with me.

I thought the bad bit was asking you to play in his bracket pool. That's bad enough. But now it got worse pool that's bad enough that's bad enough well you could play a game of pickup basketball against Ted Cruz so he knows this is going to be a lot I mean he obviously knows he has a lot of haters

and he just wanted to be able to get in there and elbow Ted Cruz I hope like Zion Williamson wins you know who's going to win somebody Ted Cruz knows come on yeah I know but I mean he did this bit with Kimmel before right where they were talking and wins. You know who's going to win? Somebody Ted Cruz knows. Come on. Yeah, I know. But, I mean, he did this bit with Kimmel before, right? Where they were talking

crap to each other and they played one-on-one. I just think it'd be really funny if, like, some five-star AAU kid won and just throws down tomahawks on top. He does the full... He's got to take on Anthony Edwards. Okay, I'll play you one more

video real quick this is the uh this is kind of today in twitter it's kind of news a guy in houston um was running from the cops this occurred a couple days ago and he ended up at a water burger and he not only ended up at a water burger he ended up on the roof of the water burger this was a today in twitter news story if you want to play that one real quick. Because it's... Okay, yeah. So he's shirtless. He jumps off the roof of the Whataburger onto the hood of a parked car below

and then has incredible elusiveness. Yeah, kind of cut on a dime. I'm sure they eventually got him, but they didn't get him there. Yeah. And he eludes like eight tacklers. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think I saw this when Dez tweeted about it at first, and he had some sort of comment about like, you know, if you want to see how to return a punt to the left side with a certain protection on.

He has initial quickness, but I think his long-term stamina looks like it's lacking. Yeah, and then a buddy of ours who is a local special teams coach, I saw him weighing in on it as well. Now, do you want to take a guess at the most overworked Twitter joke from this news story? No, go ahead. Can the Cowboys sign him? Of course. You knew that'd be it they should sign someone you know totally and then the last uh story i have for you before i got a jet is uh you know biden was here last night no yeah not like in the studio. Oh. He was in Dallas? Yeah.

Yeah. It's so crazy to me how they do this. I thought the Democrats ignore Texas. I mean, you got to get money from everybody. That's all it is. You literally fly in for a night. You find one of the few billionaire lefties in Dallas. You go to a dinner at their house that people pay $1,000 for.

You stay at some super nice hotel and you leave the next morning with a big bag of cash. Like, it feels so transactional to me. It's almost like a politics one-night stand. It's like, he doesn't care about you because he's there. You'd probably get a stupid picture, maybe. Hey, smell. Starts smelling all the lady's hair in the photos. They're like, what's wrong?

From a different time, man. Did they eat at like 4.30? Yeah, yeah. They actually had a Luby's built inside the mansion so they could eat at 4.30. I was going to say the Luann platter. That's right. Alright, there's your news.

You knew this. I know. And subscribe. Want to do three minutes of Today in History? Yeah. We could do it. Okay. I just want to give you a couple quick hits.

Because we're recording this live for tape from New Potential Studio. I like this studio, man. I love it. This is great. It feels really good. I like the chair. I like being able to go back to not having to wear over the ear headphones which I hate oh really

yeah I can't it's the only thing I don't like about the den I like these headphones I like the mic I'm looking for something I don't like place for Blake to go outside and eat yeah I had a nice little area to eat by myself so it's Thursday, March 21st.

On this day in 2006, the social media website Twitter was established with the sending of the first tweet by co-founder Jack Dorsey, wrote, just setting up my Twitter. Came out hot. This is the day that Sean Payton was suspended. Remember how confused you were with Twitter the first time? You had no idea. I held out for a while, too, which led to the making of Oscar-winning film Home Team.

Starring game-changer Kevin James. Where would we be without that movie? Fireworks Tonight in Argyle. That's right. And on this day in 2013, in the Middle East, President Barack Obama insisted peace is possible as he prodded both Israelis

and Palestinians to return to long stalled negotiations. Got it done. So yeah, how did that work? Is that fine now? That was 2013. That was 10 years ago. By 15, it was fine.

Yeah. He knocked it out of the park. Let's see. I'll give you a couple of Kemp Spin birthdays. Adrian Peterson, 39. Oh yeah. Got a couple. He's got two big ones.

And used his charity's money to pay for hookers. Sean McDermott, 50. Fought like Al-Qaeda. Coordinated. Hey, that speech kind of worked. History smiles well upon the Al-Qaeda news getting out. Couple birthdays that people are famous because of who they were married to. Kevin Federline is 46.

K-Fed. My buddy had a poster. Brad Hall, 67. Don't know it. Married to Julia Louis-Dreyfus. He was on SNL. Okay. Rosie O'Donnell is 62.

Was she the fat pig? Trump. Yeah. I think I always confuse her with Roseanne. They're both Roseannes. And Ronald. Yeah. I think I always confuse her with Roseanne. They're both Roseannes. And Ronald... Yeah. Yep.

Ronaldinho is 44. Famous because he did a radio show with Donaldinho. Yes. Shock jock. And then we have died on this day. We have Pocahontas died on this day in 1617 at the age of 22. Who knew? How'd you get that famous by 22?

I'm like 50 and I got nothing. Nothing. You got 30 more subs. You got 300 more subs. And Jerry Krause died on this day. He was a fat pig too, right? Or crumbs. I don't know who that is.

Jerry Krause was the GM of the Bulls. Oh, I thought you said crumbs. Crumbs. They called him crumbs. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes, he was. the GM of the Bulls Crumbs they called him Crumbs Oh I didn't know that yes he was Or because he had crumbs on his shirt all the time That's what Jordan called him That's a great nickname So look at how fast that was There's nothing worse than being the last

Parent to pick up the kid They're just giving you the ultimate stink eye I love trying to be first But you can never be i love trying to be first but you can never be first you can't be first all right well good closing remarks i love the studio yeah i do it's absolutely immaculate okay adios mofo Unceil, tier, te mictam. Unceil, tier, te mictam. Ain't that untold? Fear's in the air Here's love Here the new show

We all know Space is super Super Super Kiss Super Super Super Sleeper again In the down zone In the down zone In the down zone The dumb zone The dumb zone

The dumb zone The dumb zone The dumb zone The dumb zone you