The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 3-7-24

Episode Date: March 7, 2024

Remote from Qualis Roofing in Arlington. We have a special Sarah Hepola announcement, J Kidd is a disaster, Dan is mad at Potbelly, and Jerry's new unauthorized biography(00:00) - Open (18:32) - Viewer Mail (45:29) - Jason Kidd is a disaster (01:02:04) - Sarah Hepola (01:39:49) - Dalton Schultz explains the Cowboys circus (01:51:47) - News (02:14:00) - Dan's mushroom sandwich (02:20:21) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program.

The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza. I think it's up to the media or the experts will write about the record but internally there's been a lot of growth when you talk about the younger players getting better and then also just being able to you know have another star here with Luca and Luca getting it you know making that adjustment of playing with Kai. So there's a lot of positives. He's talking about you there, the expert. That's right, yeah. I guess you're the basketball expert.

But he's just watching like me. I mean, Blake, do you write about the Mavs for D Magazine? Never. They wouldn't employ me. They've never even called me. I would love that. You would love that. Yeah. Would you?

But I am monomedia. You are multimedia. That's true. Monom media. You are multimedia. That's true. Mono media. Happy Thursday, everybody. We're actually doing this on video today. The great Michael Copeland. Michael, I think on your last video.

Go, go, go, go, go. You did not put Copeland Productions on the video anywhere? You're not? Oh, you did? Okay, I was scrolling through that. I could not see it. I couldn't find it. All right.

You need more exposure. If you have a remote that needs videoed or a commercial. Your new calling. Or maybe an amateur? Putting something up on the amateur tab? Oh, yeah. You and the girlfriend have thought, you know what? Let's do this.

You want it to look good, though. You don't want it to just be shot on a cell phone. You got Michael Copeland. And then she'll get all excited just looking at Michael Copeland. That will help. That's true. That's half of what you're paying for. Yeah, he's so hot. But I don't you feel like

kind of what you want it to look like is not that great. Oh, you just want to, just for yourself. Yeah. Well, I just feel like when you click the Ami tab... No one says Ami, but go ahead.

You're not looking for... I support it. Like you want it to look amateur. Yeah. You kind of want it to look like, oh, maybe I could have done that. Yeah, because yes, how many times have you clicked that and said,

this is an amateur. This is an amateur? What is this, Scorsese? I've seen her a hundred times. Yeah. Yeah. And there's, like, video switching. Oh, Michael can do that.

He can put, like, the filter on it to make it look a little. But at that point, it's no longer amateur. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, it is when he's. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, it is when he's recording us because we don't pay him. I suppose it is still technically from the sports world considered amateur. Yeah. So, yeah, just don't pay him when you do the porn thing.

And you'll be fine. Yeah, just tell him you will, and then you stiff him. Yeah, as it were. So to speak. Yeah. So we are... Fumble. We are out on a 690 remote today.

And we should talk to some of the guys who got us here. Because I think they said, they're like, I don't even care if you promote Qualis Roofing in Arlington. That's where the office is. We're in the great state of Arlington today. Just look at the skyline.

You could see Reunion Tower. Yep. I still see some beer cans from the Rangers parade. We're just down the street from Dallas Stadium where they will play soccer. That's correct. Yeah. World Cup.

But who would like to join us really quick to just give some pub? Is Brian in there? There he is. Okay. Is Brian the main man? Brian's the man. Okay. How about... You're probably going to need that. Headset, mic? No the main man? Brian's the man. Okay. How about...

You're probably going to need that. Headset, mic? No, just the mic. Okay. He will not allow you to have a headset. I just don't think you need it, Brian. So we could play fart drops and you won't know. Yeah.

We're out to get you. Brian, everybody. It's Brian joining us from... Brian Qualis. Is your last joining us from... Brian Qualis. Is your last name Qualis? Yeah. Brian Evans. Brian Evans.

Yeah. Thanks for coming out today, guys. Subscriber. Subscriber. Day one. I don't know my number, but I'm a day one. Okay. I have an email request that is asking,

can you tell how many day one-ers there are? Yeah. Like how many actually just, because people will say on day one and then. That just, okay, yes. Like did we have 2,200? Did we have, you know, over 1,000? Whatever.

I'll go through the spreadsheet and I'll find out. Okay. Yeah, you have the real data now. Yeah, we do. The analytics. The analytics, The analytics. If you will. How is it possible that like every single person that has us out just appears health-wise to be doing so much better than us?

Because they work for themselves. Yeah, people come out to – I was under the impression that's what happens whenever you work for yourself. You're like, oh, more time. I can be a little bit healthier. Yeah, when is that going to happen, Brian? You guys look great. Yeah, but everybody that we had, Warren yesterday or whenever you're here, Tuesday, and then this guy. You got a mushroom sandwich coming.

Yes, thank you. That's going to get you in tip-top shape. Yeah, well, yeah. I'm built partly on that, partly on Eatsies, partly on pizza. Friday we'll get Friday pizza. So you had all these great ideas.

They actually sell generators. We do, in fact. Whole home? Whole home. Or part home. Wow. That's right. So what are your bits because i blake was throwing around like you were going to buy a 690 sit-in for someone or you're going to buy a subscription for someone or yeah we didn't want to over complicate it so we uh could do a few things if you're an existing subscriber because what do do you have now? 6,000 plus?

Something like that? I mean, who's counting? Who's counting? Let's call it that. Who's ever measuring that weekly? But you could also be watching this one on YouTube and you might not even be a subscriber. For free. Yeah.

So for existing subscribers, if they get a roof inspection or they get a generator quote from us, we'll send them a shirt, bring a Dumb Zone t-shirt to them. Just to get a quote. Just to have you out to the house and take a look at what's going on here. Free quote. No risk.

No risk. All upside. For new subscribers, if you do the same thing, get a quote for a generator, get your roof inspected, we'll buy you a full year subscription to the Dumb Zone. Dang. Unbelievable. a generator. Get your roof inspected. We'll buy you a full year subscription to the dumb zone. Dang.

Full year. Full year. Unbelievable. Just to have your home looked at by these professionals. That's right. They're doing you a favor twice. So you don't have to pull the trigger, you're saying? No. You don't have to?

No. Okay. Wow. We got office in here, where you're at today. The great circus town of Arlington. Okay. We got office in Dallas, where you're at today. The great circus town of Arlington. Okay. We got office in Dallas, Plano, and Keller. And Aledo, actually.

So you are not a... Air cats. When there's a hailstorm all of a sudden, you create a business, you go out, you get a bunch of people's money. Knock on doors. There's a fair amount of that. I was just going to say, though, some of those are are scammy right you gotta worry

are you actually in business do you have a brick and mortar uh location which you do we do or many we do have you squeezed into a tiny office here though so sorry about that no it's fine i love it we would like to have a studio like this yeah can we come here every day? Yeah, maybe we can talk. I mean, yeah, let's do it. I enjoy your bathroom, which has a fridge in it. That threw me. Interesting. That's kind of the partner fridge.

So that's just our drinks in there, yeah. Okay, the partners. So you're a partner. Yeah, so myself, Kelly Foster, and Chris Chambers own Qualys. Okay, nice. Started about four years ago. Is there a lot of internal strife? Is there problems?

Lawyers? Yeah. We're going to have our own lawyer podcast. You got yourself an LLC? Yeah, we got an LLC. You got a CPA? Bonafide, yeah. I'm just doing a little business talk. We have QBRs. You threw out brick and mortar a minute ago. You paying quarterly taxes, bro? Yeah, quarterly taxes.

We have our QBR. It's like something I learned last week. Quarterly business review? Yeah, we do QBRs. We do MBRs. I got a kick out of your episode earlier this week on that. Thank you. DBR.

HBR. Yeah. Daily? Daily. Hourly? Hourly. Jeez. Hourly.

You got to measure things. Minutely? Yeah. Okay, so cool. So how do people get a hold of you? Appointments. Partner Brian? Yeah.

Appointments at QualisGC. That's Q-U-A-L-I-S-G-C.com. Just mention Dumb Zone. Or you can call us 817-500-9008. Okay. That's a good number. Yeah. 9008. We-500-9008. Okay. That's a good number. Yeah. 9008.

We wanted more zeros. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you want. And we don't have to repeat those things because you could just rewind. Hit that 15 second thing. Smash that like button.

Yeah. Five stars. Like and subscribe. Yeah. Any opinions on what's happened so far? We haven't been here that long. Or I guess we could just do it in final remarks, right? Closing remarks.

Yeah, you'll have to come back at the end of the show. Okay, I'd love to. Will you do that? How much ink you got? You seem to have some tattoos on you. Just two. I'm dabbling in it. Is this a bear trap?

No. Yeah, you should. No bear trap. You guys should stop asking people about their tattoos. I don't. My late wife. If you've stop asking people about their tattoos. I don't. My late wife. If you've noticed. The A is for my daughter, Anna.

Okay. And she used to always draw that on my hands. But she's like good? Everything's fine with her? Yeah, she's... That's great. She's a junior in high school. That is awesome.

Yes. And thriving. Excellent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's all good. All right. And then I got the cross. And then you got the cross. And then he got the cross.

That's right. What happened to him? Yeah, that's not going that well, is it? He came back. Well, thanks for having us out, man. Oh, this should be a good time, too. We now have business people helping us. Yeah.

Sales. Commerce! Sales! yeah um sales uh commerce sales uh we do need to cut off the we're never going to cut off the 690 sit-in and uh the 690 you want us out for your your husband's birthday or your wife's whatever. I don't think we're going to cut that off ever for the people, especially the people that jumped in early and supported us, whether it's day one or day whatever. Lay people. But I think as businesses go, for businesses,

let's say like Qualis Roofing, I think we're going to have to cut that off, and it might be cut off while I'm in France. Okay. We've had our business people talking to us like, look, $690, it's way too low. We've got to build in something to pay Michael if he's going to come out here. We've got all this kind of stuff.

I would say that our business people have been scolding us about the 690. Right. They wanted us to cut it off like two weeks ago. Yeah. Forgetting. And now that we're going to have a nice break, maybe that's the opportune time to do it. Yeah.

Yeah. It felt low to us. So that's why we. Oh, wow. That's not what we wanted. Every business person has told me that. But that's why we threw in the incentive stuff too. We wanted to try to drive more subbies.

Yeah, you said your goal is to get us 100 subscriptions. Yes. New subscriptions. That's right. And sandwiches. Yeah, and sandwiches. Yeah. So that helps, too.

We're locked in at this rate. You are locked in at this rate. That is correct. Your grandfather didn't. So people have two more days to get in for the 690 remote. I guess businesses. Yeah. Maybe even throughout next week.

I don't know. I'm trying to think. Now we're just kicking the can down the road. Two more days? Yeah. All right. Okay. That's what it's got to be.

Did you want to ask him about the generator for the den? Or is that an off-air kind of conversation? Yeah, you want to... You said you're able... So are you able to hook up a generator that only... Here's what I heard. If you have him out, right now... That's right.

Will I get a Dumb Zone t-shirt? Free shirt. Free shirts. Okay, I would like one. You got a Twitch show on. Raymond won I would like one. Yeah, you got a Twitch show on. Raymond won't give me one. Yeah. Yeah.

But you can actually just hook up a generator that will only power above my garage. Absolutely. Because that's all we really need. That's all I really need. Yeah. Because the wife loves making fires and pouring.

Back in the big freeze of a couple years ago when I was at Cash Soroy's house, I just had – she would show me videos of they were scooping snow off the ground and then going inside and pouring it in the toilet so that the toilet would have – because the water wasn't where – I don't know. She loved that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. No, she's like a Frontiers woman. Sounds like it. Pioneer? Yeah. Yeah. She loved that. Yeah. Yeah. OK. No she's like a frontiers woman. Sounds like a pioneer.

Yeah. A pioneer woman. Yeah. Frontiersman. Whatever. Either way. Yeah. I do a small house.

The Dragon Den we can do. We were doing. We have some customers that have like a two million dollar wine fridge. Wow. Make sure that they did not lose power. matter what wine fridge yeah fish tanks we see wild stuff do you have too much money if you have a two million dollar wine fridge

i mean probably but i do actually recall a time uh my dad used to have a decent-sized aquarium, and their power went out whenever they were out of town, and exactly what you think happened, happened. They just all die. They just all die. And so that is definitely a scenario where people will put in a generator to be like, all right, well, isn't it worth the price of uh the roi for sure fish investment yeah because i mean there was a there was a ton of money in there not even just for the fish but for the uh like i don't know if you'd call it vegetation did you love the freeze you know we didn't we didn't have

generators back then so we were just roofing and construction. Yeah, we did a lot of business. So you love a hailstorm? We love a hailstorm, yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's good for business. Kind of had one yesterday, didn't we? Because you get like, oh, I learned another business thing. Because you're going to get, you know, you can get insurance money.

Yeah. And that's a lot easier. A lot of people are waiting for a hailstorm. Man, my roof is horrible. To get the roof fixed. I can't wait until there's a hail. Yeah, waiting for a hailstorm man my roof is horrible to get the roof fixed i can't wait till there's a hail yeah you can't get it fixed just yet so i learned this because we're talking about like insurance i was talking to a guy about can we if we become like what we want to become can we like offer people insurance and there was a guy telling me how

oh no i pay through this there There was a Christian something ministry insurance, and then there was another one that was very similar to that. They said, and you go, what you do is you pay, and then you kind of invoice them, and they'll pay you back. And he goes, you won't believe, if you go to the doctor and say, I'm paying in cash, the difference in price. So if something's going to cost 400 bucks

or whatever they'll just charge you 100 because they think oh this person does not have insurance so like it's all a big scam like oh you have insurance cool now we'll charge 400 yeah like this

seems really messed up do you know about this? feels like a giant scam certainly on the medical side there was a time for sure when I did have insurance I still do through my wife but I would ask them

to show me a or an itemized receipt for if I didn't have insurance. And it would be, you know. Half the price. Half the price. Yeah. It was very clear what was happening.

It seems very messed up. Yeah. That it's all like, also, because, yeah, now I have insurance through my wife. But, like, your insurance is kind of based on having a job? And based on your income. But, you know, anyways. Anyways. Let's talk Cowboys.

That's a little business talk. Well, thanks for having us, man. Thanks for coming out, guys. And we look forward to your closing remarks. Yeah. Love it. Thanks for having us. You have time.

You have time to get it ready. So what do you want to do first? Let's see. Cowboy fun? What do we want to do first? Listener birthdays? Oh yeah, let's do that. That seems fun. That's a nice flow. I don't know if it's that fun. Hey everybody, it's time to answer some of today's viewer mail.

My wife Melissa Malasso, or excuse me, Miloso, is 40. That is an irrationally hot name. Melissa Miloso? Yeah. Tell me I'm wrong. No, no, you're spot on. Are you rolling her out because she's 40?

Oh, my God, that's in his wheelhouse. Are you saying that's too young? He says, David, but enough about her. I won the 2020 push-up contest at Ticket Stock, so they gave me tickets to a Mavs game, which was canceled by COVID. If you all plan on having a push-up contest at the Den, let me know. It'd be great for ratings. The winner gets $690 and a free two-week subscription.

Two weeks? Is the guy just like offering himself up? I don't know. To get a free two-week subscription. Melissa always brought y'all cookies and handed... To get a free $15. Handed Jake knitted garments for his child. If you remember

Melissa. I do vaguely remember that, yes. Wow, she's hot and sweet. And can sew. You, Dan, also gave her your ticket jacket. I think because she was drunk and wouldn't shut up about it. From David Miyasa. I did take

two in the later years of the ticket. Like when we would get gear, I would just give it away at the event. Sure. Whereas early on, I would just keep everything. And now I have 1000 things that I will never wear. In fact,

I think we should have like a, I don't know. I'd like to do some kind of a, what would we call this? I don't know if we would call it do some kind of a... What would we call this? I don't know if we would call it a garage sale or something, but something, maybe we'd do it even if we want to be charitable. Once we can actually do things on our own. Have like an event where we empty out our...

Like, I have a lot of stuff that I just won't get rid of, but I would if we were giving it away. Or like, you know, a $10 donation to this charity. You could have this 2002 ticket stock shirt that was mine. Yeah, I definitely have. Worn once. Like a, I don't know, plastic or whatever. Just like bin full of that stuff.

Yeah, yeah. You know, in the garage. But it just always felt like if you just give it away, does it make the people that gave it to you feel like you didn't appreciate it? You mean the ticket? Well, I mean, like, let's say, for example, like a Romo Mavs jersey. Like, I don't know that I really am ever going to wear that. Well, but if we work a charity angle in, that's a force field.

That is. That's good. Hey, no, I didn't give it away. I actually wanted it, but actually I wanted the kids to eat a little more. But I suppose you're... This kid got hit one time less today. I suppose you're fine if you're just upset I gave away your gift. Daddy Hotmail, it's your full full time oil and gas engineer

part time professional pole artist Jordan this is a lady named Jordan day 11 subby 3670

it is my 28th birthday my leaders are Jake's part time off or PTO Blake's tax bracket and Dan's can of snakes. For my present, I would like you to send me your favorite full-length No Puppets song, so I will perform with it on my poll.

Here's two pictures in lieu of bikini pic. One photo of me taking a bath in $2,800 in ones. A tradition my friends and I started when we were around 20. Every year we multiply our age by 100 and do a photo shoot with that amount. So she's lying in a bathtub covered in $1 bills. You want me to give you these pictures and you can lay them over the video later? I definitely want the email. I don't know if she wants it on the video, but I would like to

see it if you have it. Also, do you think that PTO means part-time off? I did. What does it mean? PTO? Paid time off. Paid time off. Hmm. Alright. Debit one for businessman. That's why we're great together. Because I was going to just give people time off.

No, but I... You wanted to pay them. But I still want the email. Anyway, P.S. My mom used to date the old gray wolf. God, you have no idea how long I've been holding that in. It was weird how they both had Jordans within seven days of each other and Supes Auk when we were introduced. That's from Jordan, 28 years old today.

That is weird. Supes Auk. Uncle Hotmail, please wish my husband Chuck Stokes happy 46. Dan is his leader. He's a day two DF. We're listening in the future. By the way, 814 day oners. Look at that guy.

Rounding up data. Providing you the analytics. That's what he can do for your business. Only 15 minutes after you asked for it. Yeah, but you have to remember there was a 5 p.m. COB. Is that true? Yeah, I think they cut off at that time. Okay, then I ask.

Anyway, that's from Stephanie. Chuck Stokes is 46 uh high old bracket dan matt steph sending you this from cambridge ontario day one subby 173 that he could probably beat me in high school mascots please give a shout out to... Stop? Wait, Step? Oh, yeah. Did you say Matt Step? Yes, Matt. Oh, okay. Well, then, yeah, you're dusted. He writes for Dave Campbell's Texas High School Football.

He's the king. Yeah. Like, he is Dave Campbell's Texas High School Football? Between him and Greg, he might as well be. His daughter, Michaela, is 23. My leader is Dan's ex-girlfriend who smells like a Papa Do's

kitchen. And Michaela's leaders are roasting me and the Post Malone raising canes. Very fair. I would like to conclude this communication on this inferior email platform with a question for Jake. Word is on the street. Richland's 7-on-7 team will be looking for

a coach this summer. Will you answer the call of your alma mater, lead the Royals back to College Station Glory this June? Yeah, that's from Matt Stepp. What a great dude. You should definitely do that. I would love to do that. I have some ideas.

The flea flicker offense? Yeah, the flea flicker-based offense. Since we're talking remote money, Colin says, hey, zoners, here's my idea. How about to keep the bit? You charge $6.90 per guest to come up to the den. Okay, we're going to keep the bit? You charge $6.90 per guest to come up to the den. Okay, that's... We're going to keep that.

For someone's home, you tack on $4.20 travel and setup fee. And so that'd be $11.10 total. That way, a group of dudes can all chip in and the price remains reasonable per person. Yeah, that is a good idea.

Okay. Write that down. Okay. Back conversation we had previously about working at Hawaiian Falls. Yeah. Got a couple about this myself. I think someone, maybe one of our sit-ins was saying how he was a lifeguard and they would actually throw a baby doll. Did you say that?

No, I said that. That I actually saw that happen at Hawaiian Falls. You're just lying in the lazy river and all of a sudden this baby's in there. Yeah, it appeared to be like an unplanned training exercise. And then your rebuttal was they should choke out a two-year-old and throw a real-life human in there. That's correct. Not kill the two-year-old.

My wife actually worked at NRH2O. And the thing about that was, I don't think I brought this up the other day, is that at least one out of every, I don't know four or five shifts you had to be the frog which is just like dressing up as a mascot for children's birthdays so like the fun part is you're like all right well i'm in a bathing suit i'm out here basically doing nothing but getting a tan and then, you know, 20% of the time you're dressed up as a frog in 150 degree heat.

I'm sure you get paid real good. I'm pretty sure it's minimum wage, Dan, actually. Real good. I got a bunch of emails about where we could watch the eclipse. You never really followed up on the Hawaiian Falls thing. Oh, I didn't get there yet?

That's from Carly. Sorry, I work for a theme park company. I got you, guy. I'm a former Hawaiian Falls employee as well. I can confirm the lifeguard training. The doll's name is Timmy. Why did they have to give it a name? They always name it.

It seems so unnecessary. A couple of clips. Somebody downtown Dallas said they have a rooftop of a garage that would be empty and we could go there. That'd be kind of cool. He knows it's going to be empty. Here's the thing. What if it's like today? How awesome would that be? Today, it's really cloudy.

It's like the Cowboys or the Arlington? Today it's really cloudy. The whole thing just gets... It just rains. It's like the Cowboys or the Arlington Super Bowl. Well, but that's what I... It's just like the sun is like, we're never coming back here. My concern is if we do it somewhere elsewhere, then if we drive... Somebody else wants us to drive to Ennis.

That's very solid. Very solid. What's Ennis? I don't know. It's too south for me. Dang. I know Graham Harrell. You'll get there, bud.

I know. I'm not Matt Stepp yet. Paul says we should do it at the Grapevine 9-11 Memorial. As the moon traverses across the sky and in front of the sun, it'll be reminiscent of the sun, it'll be reminiscent of the plane's flight pass on that September morn. Yeah, it was a fateful day. Matt says,

Jake dropped the ball not jacking up your vacation rental price for your vacation home. In Wyoming, when we went, there was a shitty roadside motel like a $50 a night type going for $1,300 the night before the eclipse. Wow. Yeah, but you didn't want to lose your super host or whatever. That's true. What do you call it? Super host.

Super host, okay. Matt also says, glad you're forcing Jake to watch the eclipse. I can't wait to hear him eat his words when he sees it. Oh. Forgot about what I texted you guys about the other night. Yeah, let's hold that for a little bit. Okay. Okay, we'll do that right after this last viewer mail.

Okay. Dear T.O. Hotmail, in case you missed this, this was Rick Mitchell on NBC5 last night. The great? You know what? The great Rick Mitchell? I love him. I did miss this, and I would like to play this.

Well, it doesn't sound like a serious weather report. Okay, so they're doing a report on some kind of program or school or whatever that helps disabled kids. Okay. So that's where we pick it up. Good. In this story. It gives the girls a life. It gives them somewhere where they can be free and be themselves without being limited.

It also gives them a place to belong in Benbrook Alley Spill Yurts and BC5. And as far as its founders know, AIDA is the only team of its kind for girls in wheelchairs. And they say they hope one day to expand to other cities. You can learn more about the program on our website, NBCDFW.com. Thankful to Allie for that wonderful story. It was a good story. It was. You know, Brittany, when I first got into TV 100 years ago, not really, but 30 years ago, I worked with a meteorologist who was in a wheelchair.

Okay. And there was nothing she could not do. That's odd. Except walk, but she rolled. She got up. She rolled in front of the green screen. Of course, she was in her chair. Wonderful woman.

Wonderful woman. Hey, we've had some rain tonight. Oh, yeah. Allie, for that wonderful story. It was a good story. It was. You know, Brittany, when I first got into TV 100 years ago, not really, but 30 years ago, I worked with a meteorologist who was in a wheelchair.

Okay. And there was nothing she could not do. That's odd. Except walk. Yeah, so there's a lot there. The first thing is the anchor going, okay. All right. Okay.

Where's he headed with this? Yeah. And then the second thing is just like of all the things that you would say about someone in a wheelchair, you'd be like they were super capable. They were super intelligent. Like nothing held them. Well, I don't know if you'd go that far,

but you would never say there's nothing they can't do. Yeah. Cause like, unfortunately one of their defining characteristics is that there is one major thing you can't do. Unless they are in a movie with Ben Affleck about one of the darkest days in U.S. history. That's right. Based on true historical events.

And the president is a key component to it as well. That's awesome. Yeah, so I watched 30 minutes of the morning show. That's not even the full episode. It was so fucking bad, dude. Man, our text thread the other night, I'm like, why is he doing this all on text? I couldn't. So typically, I don't do that, you know?

We don't share things on text a lot of times if we want to, like, bring them up on the show. But I was so mad. And I wanted to turn it off five minutes in. But, you know, the wife was like, all right, you know, keep going, you know. And it just kept being the same thing over and over and over and over.

Which was? Horrible dialogue. It feels like it was written by Aaron Sorkin. If Aaron Sorkin sucked worse than Aaron Sorkin already sucks. It was so bad, dude.

I don't even know how people... There are words I want to use to demean your intelligence right now that I'm not comfortable using. It felt like you have to be literally mentally disabled to like this show. Do you think it was too highbrow, Jake or Blake?

Do you think he just isn't getting the nuances of some of it? He really must not have. Literal bluey episodes have more depth than The Morning Show does. It is the worst show I've ever seen in my life. You only saw 30 minutes of it. Right. Do you remember the first 30 minutes of Succession? Did they have a massive departure in the way the show is written?

Is the problem that it depicts women in power? Or do they always write it in a way where it's like that? Because the way that it's written is like, what are we going to do? Yeah, there's a lot of that. That's the whole show. That's the theme of fight in the workplace. There's a lot of delegation. That's the whole show. But that's the theme of fight in the workplace.

There's a lot of delegation. Contract negotiations going on behind the scenes. That's what they start getting into. It's about your life. You and I never talked that gay. I beg to differ. Let's just go ahead and release the unreleased podcast right now. Okay. Okay.

Well, then let's define the G word. Emotional, yes. That vapid, there's no substance to anything in any of the conversations. It's all just, I can't believe this happened. And then I tell you the moment I was out. and then I tell you the moment I was out the moment that I was out was the moment where Steve Carell's character is like at home watching the Jennifer Aniston broadcast

of like saying that hey you know because I mean this is not a spoiler it's within the first 20 minutes of the show that he is no longer on the show it's what's his name? Matt,

Matt Lauer. He got Matt Lauer. Yeah. So he's no longer going to be on the show because of some workplace allegations. And he's sitting there with like a team of his lawyers. And he's like,

she's burning me. I was like, absolutely no one would say that. It's the first, they're trying to lay out, you know how shows are. But why did they write it like that? They have to lay out the thing, the stuff,

the big picture stuff, so you got it, and then as they move on. Okay, let me give you an example. The depth of the storyline is incredible. The Wire, for example, a lot of people bailed very early on. Right. This is basically The Wire.

But they bailed because they thought, is the dialogue going to be like this the whole time? And I would say the difference is, I wanted The Wire to be like that the whole time because while it was dense, it was lifelike. This was like, it's just a soap opera. That's all it is. It is a soap opera. it's just a soap opera. That's all it is. It's just a soap opera with, like, hotter people, better cameras, and more money put behind it.

And I knew from, like, the second that the show started, I was like, this is not going to change. It's not going to be a different show. It's just going to be. Succession is a soap opera. Succession is a soap opera. To an extent, but I didn't actually love Succession when I first started watching it.

This is playing into our hands. And I kind of still don't love it. It was more just that it was a strong male lead. I was more into it, yeah. This is believable. But you're getting caught up on the wrong theme because the whole Mitch Kessler rape stuff goes away.

I think the thing that Dan wants you to take in is the battle between the employer and the employee. That's what's gripping. The behind-the-scenes machinations. So you're going to get past all this Mitch stuff and you're going to get past the hiring of bradley jackson do it again but when when alex levy starts battling with corporate that is what hits home and that's what you have to get to i forgot the scene where uh because obviously uh reese witherspoon is like a cub reporter at this point yes like so where she's

like on this uh on the scene of a, I don't remember. Protest? Yeah, I think it was a protest or something, yeah. And she like gets in a guy's face.

Yeah. And I'm like. All right, there's a lot of. That would absolutely, I mean. There's a lot of things on TV that you have to say.

I mean, when you're in a press conference. I'm aware of that. People don't start yelling for comments. Okay, okay. Well, how many things

that happen in succession can you actually say, like, that would never happen in real life? There aren't that many. Well... How many things in The Shield? Because The Shield is based on Rampart, which actually happened.

The Wire, like, go to any corner in America. The Newsroom is... Whatever it is, the morning show. I keep wanting to call it the newsroom. The newsroom sucked. Because they're, okay.

It did. It's the same show. Oh. This one's deep, man. I think just Dan watched it at the perfect time. It's not the best show. While we were going through

the contract stuff, and I'm like, man, this relates. Jake, you gotta watch it tonight. Oh, boy. Get to watch it tonight. No. No way. You've got a banana to eat. You big ape.

I don't eat bananas. Now that's a – he doesn't have a sister right there. I know it was, but I also – Don't vlog. I brought you I Don't Eat Bananas just because of the one time that on your show, George DeJohn actually told you that the banana was the Snickers bar of nature. Is that why you don't eat bananas? I mean, he's not wrong. Because I'll still eat a banana.

Okay, dude, I almost took a picture of a girl in a car the other day. She was eating a banana? There's a girl who is eating a banana, and it was like our old, I don't know. Hot wrist. Yeah. From the file of Hot Wrist. In fact, I have the Hot Wrist picture because once she turned and I snapped the picture, but somebody was eating a banana in a car.

That's not that weird at all. It seems really weird. No, that's not weird at all, dude. She was kind of hot. Now we get to wonder. See, I don't know. Maybe she was like a six, but then became a... A banana eight. Yeah, like, jeez. You're eating

a banana in the car. What won't you do in that car? You've already... I mean, we're already partway there. Let's go go that's exactly what I would think that's why you like ladies that smoke

they have the oral fixation so alright well we know we got we've crossed that little boundary and you're like it's a cigarette we've crossed the size

that's fine that's about the size of it so yeah you have a little a little Virginia Slim. Yeah, a little. Well, look,

we tried to culture you up. It's so bad to, you're a tough guy because I've told you other things to, to watch. I think the last thing I recommended was like

Comedy Bang Bang seven years ago and you were like, this sucks, it's gay. That's not... But then I was... So then I've waited seven years before even suggesting anything else.

I'm just so worried about your wrath. Yeah, I mean... Maybe I should just do movies because now that's just going to be a one-time thing. Can't get too mad about that. If you got to go 50 episodes, then you're like, oh man. Yeah, and I mean... Maybe I should just do movies because now that's just going to be a one-time thing. Can't get too mad about that. If you've got to go 50 episodes,

then you're like, oh, man. Yeah, and I mean, I didn't go 50 minutes. Right, that's... I truly believe... I think the behind-the-scenes stuff you really relate to. I would say... But you didn't want to watch the Larry Sanders show

because it reminded you too much of the behind-the-scenes. So maybe the morning show is just too real. The Larry Sanders show was awesome. I think it just doesn't have enough guns. And I just couldn't do it because at the time, like, it was just the way that the bad radio. What was that? Next door. Okay.

I hope it wasn't their roof caving in. No, that would be horrible advertisement. Yeah. I hope it wasn't their roof caving in. No, that would be horrible advertisement. That one was more like at the time I was doing a lot of deal with the boss for you guys. Yeah. And I understood that was my job and I didn't hate it or anything like that, but it was just like I just don't want to watch a show about this. But like almost everything you've ever recommended to me that was just like I just don't want to watch a show about this but like almost everything you've ever recommended to me that was

comedy I've loved and I would say that applies to Blake Blake very good at recommending music now I did recently tell you guys you have to watch the octopus murders might have burned a shit on that one.

Having you guys watch a show about a conspiracy. Dude, a few weeks ago, you had me watch a documentary on Netflix. I went home, I watched the whole thing, and then we never talked about it. I know. I felt like you were Star Wars. Yeah.

Star Wars and Avengers. I wasn't involved in Avengers. No, but when I was the new to seven board up, I wouldn't watch the Avengers, the first one. And that's not something you would do for sure. Ever. Yeah. What was the documentary?

American Murder or American, right? Oh, the not Gone Girl one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's great. We still should do it. Yeah it's very very good. There's our segment. Shogun is really good. It throws me off when you say it like that. That's how they say it. I know.

You can say it however you want but it is very good. Like do you remember when we had Dan Carlin on and he was talking about Genghis Khan? Yeah we were like bro. Yeah. But apparently that's how you. Did they do that in Shogun? Karlan on and he was talking about Genghis Khan yeah we're like bro yeah but apparently that's how you did they do that

in Shogun is Genghis Khan in that no but I I remember that okay yeah what's the restaurant

oh the Genghis Grill yeah so do you have to yeah I would always go Genghis Grill drill I don't think Genghis exists anymore. That was a great place.

They've closed a lot of locations. Yeah, that was a great place. How's the place in Inner Age doing? Is it still open? The Genghis Grill? No, no. Chans. Yeah.

I love it, yeah. Is it open? Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. That's a big... Me and Fran's daughter will go there at least once a week. They used to have a framed Joe Kemp jersey on the wall. Oh, really?

Yeah. Wow. Because he ate there every day. If you are a growing boy... Oh, it's very... Yeah. It's nothing but protein It's great Yeah

No I loved it And a free ice cream At the end of the night If you want one If you want We've never accepted that Sounds awesome

They're also like One block over from Andy's So what are you gonna do Yeah Yeah it's tough It's like the 49ers and Cowboys Would you rather pay for Andy's Or get a free ice cream?

Yeah. I think the answer is always clear. Oh, OK. Elsewhere when in your text thread, I'm just looking back. So you were like, hey, we got to play this

Jason Kidd audio. And then Blake said, I heard about it. I wish it was real. And apparently, whatever you had heard about actually was real. Because when I saw the video, it was pretty grainy, and it was from a not Mavericks account. So I was convinced someone had made an AI video of Jason Kidd saying this, but I was wrong.

Is that where we're going to be over the next handful of years is where we just look at not only, I mean, obviously the main one people bring up is politicians, but you look at your sports coach's press conference and you're like, no, not real. I mean, yeah, we are with actual news. That's fake. Yeah. Yeah. I said that.

Let me get your charger real quick. So this is after the Mavs' third loss in a row. The Mavs, after the trade deadline, it felt like it was super positive and they're winning games and now they've got the roster and there's no stopping them now and apparently now they are...

Things are not going so well. Yeah, I wrote an incredibly unfortunately timed column of like, hey, they got depth now. They got all the guys they need. They're bigger. They're longer. They're longer. They're springier, bouncier. They have multiple ways they can play.

And I'm pretty sure after that, they lost four out of five from the makers of the Michael Gallup column. And you wrote Grant Williams out of town. That one actually, I mean, that's a win for me. Do we have a Kemp curse? The Grant Williams one, that's in my favor, though. Yeah. Because I wrote that of like, this is a complete disaster.

You ripped him. And they traded him the next day. They read it. I think so. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. He's right. Printed it off.

I thought he'd been playing very well. Yeah. But yeah, so here was the opening of Jason Kidd's press conference the other night after their third straight loss. So why wasn't the effort and the effectiveness Oh, okay, and I think they went up 11-0

to start the game? They did. This was a Sixers game? The Noah Bede game? Yes. Correct. I mean, yeah. Pretty much all that now. So why wasn't the effort and the effectiveness that you guys saw in the fourth quarter there The Noah and Bede game? Yes. Correct. I mean, yeah, pretty much all that now. Yeah. So why wasn't the effort and the effectiveness that you guys saw in the fourth quarter there for the first three?

Noon, probably noon game. You look at being desperate, you know, understanding you have no room for error. I thought the guys in the fourth quarter played at a high level. The execution defensively, a lot of our schemes, we didn't do until the fourth, and when we did... Wait, so I just want to know if the other team had to play at noon or if they got to play later.

The Sixers started at 2. Well, they're used to Eastern time. Yeah, and that was a weird cork of the schedule. But also, why would you be worse at the end than you would at the beginning if you had to start at an earlier time than when you're used to playing? Nothing he's saying makes sense. Wouldn't the later portion of the game be closer to when your body is

used to being in peak performance or you know. Right, now you're warmed up. So why would the first three quarters or in Tim Cato's case like the first 30 minutes why would that be better? Oh, noon game.

why would that be better? Oh, noon game. I'm going to fast forward to kind of the money. The stuff you couldn't believe was real. You thought this was AI? Yeah. Are there any specific adjustments or anything you plan to implement moving forward? Yeah, well, right now I got to go back and look.

We all know. Because he does a lot of vague things. I have to go look at the tape. Well, there's a lot of mystical problems. Well, okay. Well, what specifically can you do? Like, now let's talk some X's and O's. So I thought that was a pretty good question, especially for Jason Kidd,

who doesn't usually know what to say after that. Yeah, well, right now I've got to go back and look. We all know Timmy's not shooting the ball well. Maybe we'll watch Major League and get some Kentucky Fried Chicken and put that in his locker. But, no. Should we do – Definitely thought there was –

Explain sick reference to people who didn't see a movie 30 years ago? 30? It's at least 30, right? More? Yeah. I would say, yeah. 80s? Late 80s. Wass was it so yeah yeah but uh

i always love whenever somebody tells a joke and they follow it with but no like there's just a there's a a lack of confidence exhibited by but. And then he says uh, like leaving some hang time in case anyone wants to laugh. Yeah, and like I can tell you this. I think the Mavericks have a phenomenal press corps. I know Tim Cato pretty well. I would bet almost anything that Tim Cato

has not seen Major League. So if he's the guy who's like leading off the questioning and, and I don't know who the, the female in particular who was asking that question, nobody in there has seen it except maybe Timmy Mac. And I don't know if he was there that day. And he's like,

uh, we got a kiss on Kentucky fried chicken, which was like, I wanted to sacrifice a chicken to Jobu to get rid of the curse to get rid of the curse

on his bat so they brought up Kentucky Fried Chicken instead and like it wasn't that funny in the movie it wasn't even that funny

in the movie and it's pretty risky to say for it to not pay out yeah because if it's read a different way

oh that's the first place I win. The race card. Okay, no, I didn't think. If you don't know the Major League reference, if you don't know the superstition reference and the exercise demons reference, then now we're to the race card. Right now, I got to go back and look.

We all know Timmy's not shooting the ball well. Maybe we'll watch Major League and get some Kentucky Fried Chicken and put that in his locker. But no. We trust Timmy's going to get out of it. That's the beauty of sport. So Tim Hardaway has been very, very bad, right? Terrible.

And that was very big on the Soch Sunday as far as, you know, why is he still in the game? Why is – how about let's just – Try Jaden. Try Jaden Hardy. That's the whole thing. Why you like Jaden Hardy is because he can be that guy perhaps. No. We trust him. He's going

to get out of it. The beauty of sport is you've got to fail to be successful. We're in Boston. I give those guys a lot of credit. They didn't just start off winning and going to championships. They had to struggle. Right now, we're struggling.

Let me look at the Boston Championships in the past couple years. Yeah. He's not even right there, is he? He's not right there. However, if you wanted to make the case that they've gotten better, though it was not for

purely performance, they also fired their coach. Yeah, he's probably talking about the Tatum and Brown core. That's very interesting. In going to championships, they had to struggle. And right now we're struggling, and we've got to stay together and stay positive and understand when the ball goes in the basket for us, we're really good. So the next step is if the ball isn't going in the basket, how do we get stops?

And that's what a young team is going through, and that's what we're going through right now. And they're not that young, though. And it feels like his excuses just change with the day. Sure. Like it doesn't matter. Depth, effort. Maybe it was depth.

Maybe it was, yeah. So one thing before we move on. It's injuries. Okay, I don't have injuries to say today. Okay, what time is it? Noon, okay. Ball's not going in. I mean, what are you going to do?

Well, then what are you there for? So the one thing that I wanted to bring up to you, and this is like far from some sort of like definitive research project, but just kind of just looking over all four major sports. You know how like I think you've referenced many, many times the Ted Williams example of like when Ted Williams was a manager, even a Rangers manager. Yeah. I read his book growing up, The Science of Hitting. The Science of Hitting. And you were like, all right, well, now I got it. And you hear people talk about like Barry Bonds. A friend mentioned this to me last night.

I think he was a hitting coach once and was super ineffective. Because the science of hitting just said, well, they would do the shift against me. I would just hit it the other way. No. He'd say, I just hit over it. Oh, hit over it. It doesn't matter.

He never changed his approach. He never did anything. Like, I'm just so good, I would hit a it. Oh, hit over it. It doesn't matter. He never changed his approach. He never did anything. I'm just so good, I would hit a home run. Okay. Well, I don't know that I can do that. I might need some science behind it. But his science was, well, I'm great.

Why can't you be like this? Why don't you have this perfect vision and eye coordination? And that's kind of why they say superstars don't generally become good head coaches because they don't relate to the majority of the roster. Well, so that's my point, is that if you look at all four major sports, it's really hard to find a more successful player as a head coach than Jason Kidd.

Like if you go through the NBA, Carlisle certainly had his... Don Nelson was a scrub. Carlisle certainly had his problems. Maybe that's an era-specific thing because part of the reason that Carlisle was run was like, he doesn't relate to today's player.

We need a guy who relates to superstars. That's what Jason Kidd can do. He can relate to a superstar point guard. But Eric Spolstra, like Popovich, like these guys were journeyman players. And it really applies to basically every sport. Like in the NFL, the best I could find were maybe both Harbaughs,

which were kind of journeymen. Yeah, Harbaugh was a smear. Gerard Mayo, D'Amico Ryans, like guys who made like a Pro Bowl. But like Kidd is a Hall of Famer. Right. And it's really, really hard to find across, again, all four sports. Steve Kerr. Steve Kerr might be the best.

And Steve Kerr was like a really good role player. Six man-ish, yeah. But it's super. It's Chauncey Billups, maybe. But I would say out of about 150 teams, he's probably the most successful player who is a head coach right now in all of American pro sports.

And I'm not saying that's definitely not why it's working, but he would be proving something that doesn't work all that often. You know? He would be a different breed of a coach than what normally works he also kind of like seems like a real players coach and i don't know if yeah i don't know if yeah he also it seems like you can get in his doghouse and just be relegated to

what do they say persona non grata or something like that for we don't know what the reasons are well the reasons sometimes might be that uh the gm that you don't exactly uh actually want to work with traded for you like christian wood and that's not to say that christian wood like definitely was worthy of more playing time but I don't know that he ever really had a chance so I do think there is something to the idea that what they're trying to pull off right now with Jason Kidd as head coach is different than almost anything that's ever worked in pro sports like there's a reason Michael Jordan wasn't a head coach right even whenever he was like effectively a player coach he was terrible at it so I don't know you've got a couple examples in hockey where it's like kind of worked I mean obviously I know Wayne Gretzky was a semi-effective head coach but almost up and down the list, all you will find are guys who had to grind out end of the roster spots

to become professional athletes. Those are the ones that are the best head coaches. Even baseball, I thought the most accomplished was Craig Council, who was a World Series MVP.

Is Mattingly still a manager? No. In LCS MVP. However, I mean, he made the roster because he was so good defensively, which is like a fun – it's not a skill. I guess it kind of is a skill, but it's more of a fundamental where he's not a flashy player. Also, never an all-star.

No. Again, yeah, he did win the CS MVP, but you're right. That's like a more coachable skill than like, oh, see ball, hit ball. See basket, make basket. See throw, make throw.

See goal, make goal. It just never occurred to me until the other day that it's like, he's kind of the only one. He's in the Hall of Fame. He was the rookie of the year. Or at least co. Well, no, he was hired to coach one guy. Right.

And you even have to question how he does that. Yeah. So, all right. We need a break. The Dumbs Up. Hey, guys. Russell here. Yes, the typical boring, yes, Russell, the robot Russell,

the one you guys love to know, real, real exciting. You know, I'm real excited. But anyways, everybody has to have an alter ego, right? And I've been thinking about what my alter ego would be, and I think I have an alter ego. His name's Mr. Unlimited. You've got to be unlimited. You've got to have a thought process of being unlimited.

So when people ask you what you're thinking about or what you want to do in life or where you want to go, you've got to be unlimited. Tell them, I'm unlimited. You know what I mean? So when they ask you certain questions like, who brings you motivation, Russell? Mr. Unlimited. Who's your role model, Russell? Unlimited. Who's your go-to person for advice, Russell? They think Pete Carroll. They think this person. They think that person. Love you, Pete.

But it's Mr. Unlimited. Tell them. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. The Puppet. Raymond sent over some t-shirts for the guys here at Qualis Roofing. That's where we're at today, Sarah. We're at a business. Why can't I see you, Dan?

Oh, well, Blake is in charge of the video. And joining us now is Sarah Heppola. You may know her from the Dallas Morning News. Not yet, but thank you. You may know her from... She woke up when you were on top of her in France one day. Oh, my God. That's in your book. Oh, my God.

That's in your book. Hey, I didn't recoil first. She did. It's in your book. You may know her for her New York Times best-selling book. If you are that guy, can I just say, I tried to track that guy down. I know. If you are the guy that I didn't wake wake up and I was having sex with him. This is the opening of my book, Blackout.

It's available on Amazon. And if you are that person, I would like to hear from you. She went back to Paris trying to piece that night together. Yeah, the funny thing is, is like it feels like a number of people could just say it was them. I can definitely say it was not because I have never been to Paris. Not yet. And I don't want your listeners to get the wrong idea about me so early in my tenure on this pod, Jake, but it would be plausible. Yeah.

Dan's going to Paris next week. How about that? But it would be plausible. Yeah. Dan's going to Paris next week. How about that? Oh, you could do a walking tour of my blackout. I'm sure it would be accurate.

Kind of like Jake did a, what did you call your Florida tour? No, I mean, I lifted from those who had come before me, just a trail of tears where I went to the place where Robert Kraft got whacked off the morning of an AFC Championship game, owner of the Patriots. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Whacked off or whacked? Off. Yeah, you need the off part.

Yeah, it was like a – you know, interestingly enough, it was like a – Like a massage parlor. It was a massage parlor. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The owner of the Patri part. Yeah, it was like a, it was, you know, interestingly enough, it was like a, like a massage parlor. It was a massage parlor. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The owner of the Patriots. It was the morning of a,

Jake is a bit crass. Yeah. But I'll translate. But the weird thing about it was when I went there, they were actually remodeling it into an escape room, which just felt a little too on the nose.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, then I went to where Tiger Woods got pulled over for a DUI. I don't think it was drinking. I think it was just pills. Yeah. I went to the place where he hired the woman who ended up suing him. I think it's called Woods.

Very creative. Oh my God. And then I actually went to, I can't remember if it's 510, 16, 518. I went to Jeffrey Epstein's house

on Elbrillo Way. It's like 510 or 518 or something like that. Yeah, I went to his house. You said that felt wrong. It was the creepiest thing I've ever been involved in in my life. By far. Why? Could you feel the energy, the bad energy emanating from it?

Yeah, because the other thing about it was, and it had been seven or eight years since anything, since he had lived there, but it was at the end. Oh, by the way, it's two streets down from Mar-a-Lago. Wow. So I was able to knock out. It was a little twofer. It's at the end of a street that dead ends into the ocean.

So it was very clear that he bought this house with the implication of there's really not anywhere you can go. You can either go to the ocean or... Or just kind of stay here and... What did you just say, Sarah? He didn't kill people. He wasn't drowning. I said he bought the property because people like beachside property. I mean, you know, like, there is...

That is not exactly specific to people that transgress, you know, sexual norms. But I will tell you, it wasn't even really beachside. It's just like the bay opens up. So it just definitely felt to me like you knew whenever you were there, there are two ways out of here. You can either climb over these rocks and go into the ocean, or you can run down this long street back out. And there were still a bunch of cameras there and stuff

like that but we're not here to talk about my trail of tears can we talk for a second about robert durst because i went to galveston yeah and i did a ghost tour and they take you by robert durst's house in galveston which was incredibly creepy because people live there right now and so like there's like a kid pulling his bicycle up and there's like all these ghoulish tourists standing around on the other side of the street going like and this is where he like beheaded the person and i was like oh my god we need to leave like it was so the true crime thing can tip over so quickly into ghoulishness and you just feel sort of like this isn't right yeah there was no one living at the uh at the epstein house at the time but there were people there like remodeling it and they definitely knew what i was doing there and that made me feel creepy

i felt that way when i went to uh what's it called cielo drive to see the manson house which is gone now. Yeah. But I felt really like, what am I doing? This is gross. At least I had like a radio show. Yeah. I just had like a kink for ghoulish stories.

Um, there is, um, a book that Chuck Klosterman wrote called killing yourself to live. And he visits all the death sites of rock stars. Wow. I missed that one. I thought I've read everything here.

Got that advanced though. So Sarah Heppola is, I mentioned the Dallas Morning News. So you've been hired. They created a position for you, right? What is your, what have you been hired to do there? I'm the high profile writer. Whoa. That sounds really important. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. So that's who you're talking to. That's not us. Now, do you also have your writings on sub stack or just your pod just our pod smoke them if you got them and then i'll continue to write for texas monthly

um i have two big features coming out there one is about glamping and one is about monica aldama the coach from the netflix series cheer it was like a really big story. And cause she's been like plagued by scandals. So those two stories are coming out and I'll write for other publications, but I am high profile was a big, like glossy, splashy section in the eighties and nineties. And you know, it was, it was like big magazine style photos and, you know, deeply reported features. And it was basically like a magazine inside of your daily paper. And this is a little bit more of a modest relaunch. It's not an entire section because, you know, I don't know if you noticed, but like the newspaper business is dying. Like the entire media world is dying. I don't know

if you guys have got the memo on that. Wait, what? media world is dying. I don't know if you guys have got the memo on that. Wait, what? Yeah, we think we're doing great. And in fact... And Patreons. That's right. So we have to

promote something. We talked this morning, I did, with Sarah Heppela. With your blessing, Jake. I had already talked to you previous to that. Sure. And we wanted to do something. So we will announce that we have done something. We are going to make this a regular feature.

What? So every other week, Sarah Heppola will join us right here in the Dumb Zone. Smartening up the dumb zone. I love how you say with your blessing like it wasn't literally my idea. Yeah. Oh, my God. You can't get credit for fucking anything anymore. Oh, my God.

I'm willing for you to make the phone call then. Okay. Can I just say there was a really interesting bait and switch. I don't even know what to call it. Because Jake is the first person that reached out to me about this. But then Dan started texting me. And I was like, what happened here? Dan's the closer.

Jake often has an idea and then it just sits there. And then if I get on it, then we do it. Fantastic. Jake is the idea, man. Dan is the closer. I'm the action man. You got to see the whole place. Dan is the closer. I'm the action man. You got to see the whole place. I got action pants.

I got everything. So then I'm surprised you didn't send this to Jake then this morning because now so then this morning. And you know last week. Remember what I told you? I said I, in fact, because we are, we're contemplating a move ourselves over to Substack. Sure.

A little behind thethe-scenes biz talk. They're interested in us getting over to that platform. And so there are many things to take into consideration. How big of a beating would that be for everybody who already subscribes? Blah, blah, blah. But we're on the fence. We're pretty close. This might just happen.

I'm hearing a mixed message. We're on the fence, but we're pretty close. Well, whatever. It is a mixed message, but I think we're going to do it. You're on the fence, and it's splitting your pants at the seams because that's how far you're tipping over into that side, right? That's a writer. Yeah, don't listen to what I say and then call me out on the logical inaccuracies or whatever.

That's what I'm here for, baby. That's why you hired me. So part of this, I've been wanting to subscribe to your podcast for quite some time. And last week, I thought, okay, well, let's just see how easy it is. time. And last week I thought, okay, well, let's just see how easy it is. If I go to Apple Podcasts and type in Sarah Heppela or type in Smoke Em If You Got Em, how hard is it to subscribe? And it was incredibly easy. So there's a little thing there. It just says, you can subscribe here at substack.com, substack, whatever. You click on that and then it gave me a thing for, sub stack,

slash, whatever. You click on that and then it gave me a thing for, you know, do you want to do a month? Do you want to do a year? And I thought, Sarah,

she's, I think we've become more than just like. Monthly. Well, I, no, I feel like we've become

kind of friends. Yeah, no, you've become an annual. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah,

okay, yeah. So like, so yeah, I went annual right away and it's so easy that it just had Apple Pay. Just click that. Don't click it.

Now I'm locked in because Apple Pay, I'll never look at that again. I'm probably in for years, Sarah. Sure, until death. Yeah, I won't even be hosting it anymore. It'll be like some Gen Z person. But you know what? That's how much I care about Sarah Heppola,

the great Sarah Heppola. She's been on our show before. She's literally just trying to dunk on me because he wants to claim this. No, no, no. I want to tell you this. Then Sarah texted me this morning. Oh, not me. Or yesterday.

She says, does my regular slot, because before this morning we had not come up with the actual pay, but man, we negotiated hard. We went back and forth. It was hard. How'd you do? How'd I do? Any better this time? Well, I set it up with, I don't know how much to say, but you could probably just counter and I'll say yes. And then that's what she did.

He literally said that. He literally set it up as, I don't know how to do this. I'm going to give you a number and you can probably negotiate it higher. Yeah. And then she did. And then I said yes right away. I'm not terribly surprised by this development. There was no back.

Yeah, he's seen me negotiate. I'm not good. She says, does my regular slot include a subscription to your podcast so I can listen? Wow. My dad doesn't even get that. Wow. You make Javi pay? Of course.

So Sarah, who I, before this text, considered, wow, I think we're actually, like, now it's kind of we're becoming friends. She just put you over a barrel. Yeah. Yeah, or I needed to negotiate what you're paying me plus seven. That's right. And I said yes. That was the easiest way to do it.

I just said yes. Sure. Why not? I'll do whatever Sarah Heppler asks. And you can take that to the bank, Sarah Heppela. So anyway, I'm real happy you're going to be on with us as a regular thing. And I'll buy you 100 subscriptions. I just want to say, I don't have fat terrestrial radio dollars like some of the people on this call.

Oh, yeah. Wow. It is lucrative. Yeah. It's a life that's hard to walk away from. Yeah. But we did it. You actually said, you know what?

I'd love to jump on in the next day or two because you were excited about a story that's just broken. I am. Do you guys know Don Van Natta? I mean, we know. I mean, we read everything he writes. We enjoy when he releases a story. That's good enough.

Feels like it's always about Jerry. Yeah. It's quite often. Or Daniel Snyder. Or whatever. Oh, he was on the Dan Snyder beat. I mean, I think he was like uniquely invested in taking Dan Snyder down. Yeah.

in taking Dan Snyder down. Don Van Natta is three-time Pulitzer Prize winner, just heavyweight, as heavyweight as they come in the sports world. She said, not knowing sports at all. But I know Don Van Natta. And he just scored the unauthorized biography of Jerry Jones. One Gerald Jones for Simon & Schuster.

It's going to be a barn burner. I'm so excited about this. So they just announced that today that it's not out? It's going to be coming out? It's coming out in 26. So they just announced that he sold it. Now, I do know Don Viannata because I had some chit-chat with him. Remember when you were doing Terrestrial Radio?

Vaguely, yes. And I came on a show that you had, and we talked about that crazy thing where Rich Dalrymple, the PR guy at the Cowboys, was caught filming the cheerleaders? Yes. Allegedly. Allegedly. I think he was. And Charlotte. Oh, he was doing a little upskirt on Charlotte.

That's what we forget. The draft room part is definitely. According to somebody, he upskirted. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the one where Jake's like, look. I mean, if you're going to be near Charlotte all the time, what are you going to do?

She's very striking, fetching. So crazy. Everything about that story is so crazy. And we didn't get a quarter of it. I mean, I just know there's so much stuff behind the scenes. But Don is who broke that story. And then when he heard me either on your show or the afternoon show, I don't know. He reached out and he was like, listen, I don't know you, but we need to be in touch

because we he was kind of like, you know, a lot and I want to talk to you. So we ended up becoming friends, chit chatting. And so he told me a while ago that he was thinking about doing this, but he was going back and forth. And I just think this couldn't be better for our town. I don't know if you remember the 2014 Sports Illustrated story he wrote about Jerry. It's kind of an epic. They spend like three days together drinking Johnny Walker Blue.

It's the Johnny Walker Blue story, yeah. And it's the Johnny Manziel story. Yes. That's where we first learned that they had to wrestle the card away from Jerry for Johnny football. Yeah. That was a big one. I mean, Jerry, and I'm not telling you guys anything you don't know. I mean, he, and I'm not telling you guys anything you don't know. I mean, he is, he's an interesting.

We talked about the paternity suit. This week, there was a judgment that he got the sex assault lawsuit against him delayed again. This is the one about whether or not he grabbed somebody's in like one of the suites, I think. And, you know, so he's got this whole tangled history, but journalists love him. They adore him and he adores journalists because you guys would know better than me. But like when I was talking to sports guys about him,

every one of them was like, but he gives the best quotes yeah you're right he's he is awesome i've loved having him on he he doesn't just give the best quotes he um and really it's the entire organization they do a really good job of creating like an off the record situation without even asking for it so you know they'll have you to this party you know and whatever it is Malibu and it just feels like yeah exactly and you go there and you're like well this is weird but when you're there it feels like you're implicitly just saying like okay well if i'm going to take this awesome stuff from you i'm not going to write down everything that you say and for radio morons like us we're like well what are we really going to do we don't really report

so whatever i'll just take a free vodka and a free you know california roll but there are tons of actual like i'll give my soul away for a free california yeah but they're but they're actually like a ton of like actual they're fantastic actual like uh print reporters there like which i don't consider us to be and they just kind of do the same thing yeah i know and it doesn't seem like anybody really asks any questions. So I'm just like looking around like, okay, I guess if this is what we do, then this is what we – that's what they're doing. Very weird.

I tried to write about this. I tried to write about this, and I got thwarted at every turn. It is so hard. And even – I mean, I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about this, but I will. Like Don Vianato was like championing me he knew the piece and he was trying to get it placed and it was just getting it was getting shut down because it basically was about how the entire sports journalists are like complicit you know and and not like in the way it's like a sneaky way the way that you're talking

about jake it's what marshall what Marshall McLuhan would call manufactured consent. Like you're basically like coaxed into. And Noam Chomsky. Oh, Noam Chomsky, is that his theory? Correct. I thought it was McLuhan. Well, anyway, somebody. A lot of tension here between Jake and Sarah.

Noam Chomsky wrote the book Manufacturing Consent. I only know that because it's my favorite book of all time. Oh, Jesus. Interesting. All right. Don't mess with the bulls. Why have you never told me that? I would like to read your favorite book of all time.

Jesus Christ. Now, he may have lifted the term from McLuhan, but anyways. Okay. Well, let's not fight about it. Sorry for ruining everything for everyone. No, no, no. Let's not fight about it because mostly you're gonna win because i don't know enough about that but i mean so so i don't need like so what you

just described is that you know and and it's it's it it works because it's so subtle if everybody had to sign non-disclosure forms the second they got on that Cowboys bus, there would have to be a moment of like, oh, I'm really doing this. But you step into it one little piece of the time. And what happens is people like you and 90% of the people there are looking around going, oh, I guess this is just how we do it. This is just what we do. And then, you know, I was hearing wild things. I was hearing secondhand stories of wild jokes made at that event. And I'm sure they were just jokes. But I wanted to put them in print because I wanted people to get a glimpse of what Jerry feels enabled to do in front of beat reporters when he's footing the bill. So two things.

One, Noam actually took that term from Walter Lippman. I just looked it up. So we're both wrong and both right. And two, the weirdest part about it was like Al Michaels would be like at these things. It wasn't just like, hey, the guy from the Dallas Morning News. It would literally be like TV executives and the biggest play-by-play people in the world or the biggest producers.

We were small, small, small fries compared to the people that you would see there, and they were all just kind of in on it. Is that like JFK nailing chicks and the press corps back then all new? It has a lot in common with that. And when you interview, I interviewed the first female beat reporter

for the Cowboys who was amazing. And her stories were amazing. And her stories about TechShram were pretty eye-popping. And it reminds me, I mean, and that's the Kennedy era right I mean well no actually I'm sorry that's that's the 80s but SRAM is from that Kennedy era yeah yeah yeah and yeah Dale Hanson will talk about this too I mean he's very frank um he quoted liberally in my piece about the way that like and he won't speak bad on Jerry. I mean, he had this line that I loved. He was like, he was like, don't throw glass, don't throw

stones in my glass house. And I was like, yeah, I mean, he knows that like, basically what Jerry did over the decades was to make them not only complicit in the way you're talking about Jake, but to make them bribable. Yeah. It's kind of like whenever a big story does break, it's never from a local guy. No. No. It doesn't happen often. It doesn't happen ever, actually. You're right.

Yeah, because you don't want to have your access taken away forever. Yeah, and then what sucks about that is that then people will get on to the local people and be like, well, why didn't you do this? It's like, well, I also still have a job to do for which I am paid, for which my employer expects me to do, and if I were to go do that, I could not do that. And now where am I? So I don't blame any of those.

Well, and I know, no, you're exactly right. And I also know that Dallas Morning News, which is my employer, has tried to do hard-hitting pieces on him. But it's really, really, really tough to get people to go on him, but it's really, really, really tough to get people to record. He is so scary.

Not, I don't know if he's physical. I don't, I don't, I've never met him. I've heard I'd love him. He's hilarious, but the sort of infrastructure around him and the legal mechanism,

like they can sue anybody and they could bankrupt anybody if they want to. What's going to be really interesting about this book is, okay, so if it comes out, let's say just like early, mid 2026, I think by the end of this year, if not by the end of this year, early next year, we're going to get the 10 part netflix series oh god but that's jerry authorized it's a hundred percent million dollars for that yeah i mean it's it's the last dance right like that jordan had an authoritarian hand if you say so well no no no i mean, so there was an ESPN documentary called The Last Dance about the Chicago Bulls in the 90s. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. Marshall McLuhan. I know that. I know that. I know The Last Dance more than I know Manufacturing Consent. But what I'm saying is that was a unique... I will be skeptical if it is that level. I am skeptical it will be at that level. I just know that Jerry's going to have

a ton of editorial control over the matter. That's why. That's why it felt like the whole Jimmy Johnson, Jerry Jones situation with the Ring of Honor, etc. on a random noon game in Detroit or something. That's a look at

the modern media, modern documentaries as well. Have you been following the mini-controversy about the Patriots one? There's a new Patriots documentary on Apple TV. That's probably why you don't know about it. Because you never know about anything on there. Never.

Never. it because you never know about anything on there and uh and there was one that tom brady produced a couple years ago and i guess the apple tv one is at least this is according to bill simmons that it's really downplaying the contributions of belichick and it's a lot more highlighting Robert Kraft and what he meant to the whole thing. And like you could tell Robert Kraft is who this is going through, the owner of the Patriots. Yeah.

And the Tom Brady one, like kind of highlighted how great Tom Brady was for all the things. Like, you know, everybody puts out their own documentary now. I'm going to put one out about us. I think this is even in the HBO book. The thing was, the book about HBO, who started doing a lot of these things,

was you're in a weird place there. If I can get whoever, Sting or somebody, to give me full hundreds of hours of interviews and access to all your archives and all. Okay, well, then I want all that. But they're also going to be able to kind of steer you in a certain way. Sure. Oh. Which is interesting.

Documentaries used to have a really narrow pinhole for distribution because they had to go into theaters, and most theaters don't want them. But with streaming services, the floodgates opened, and they're cheaper generally to produce than um feature films and they're and certainly doc like narrative series and they're really really popular especially when you get things like this i haven't even seen this vanity project that jennifer lopez just put out i am me or something like that i am now talking to the wrong people okay sylvester stallone did one like it's the new thing and jake made a joke that like y'all should do a documentary actually you should because there's no reason not to do a documentary about the lawsuit

and all the the different things that you guys are going through because it could be a great story and it costs very little to just have basically footage running on you. Yeah. It's also a big part of the reason why you'll never see anything negative about LeBron. What do you mean? Just that he owns so much production capacity

and capabilities and anything that you see of him that's going to be actually forthright like with his high school and youth footage, he's going to want to have a part in. He's just like a master at shaping his own narrative. Anybody who's going to see him playing when he

was 12 years old, if they want that footage, then he's going to be in charge of the way that the thing shapes up. We know people who have, and I know of other people, who have tried to do documentaries about the ticket. But the ticket wants to maintain, if you're going to use our intellectual property and all this, we want to have some editorial control.

And then they said no. And then maybe, yeah, maybe you tell that story a little bit differently though. Yeah. You guys ever read the Steve Jobs book? The Steve Jobs book is very interesting. So it's by Walter Isaacson. Who's great. So I've heard.

And I read that book. And Walter Isaacson does play it up in the beginning. There's a lot of negativity about Steve Jobs in there, but this is an authorized Steve Jobs knew he was dying. And he actually contacted Walter Isaacson said he loved another biography that he wrote. He thought he was the guy that's tell this story correctly. And he gave him full access.

And you learn that Steve Jobs was a complete asshole in many respects. Like, you know, if there's a handicapped spot out here, he parks in it because he wants to go quickly. Wow. And he'll just pay whatever fines. He doesn't care because he's Steve Jobs. And just he gave access. You know, I'm writing a Belichick book right now. And part of the beginning is,

I found from many of my interview subjects, Bill Belichick had been calling everyone, telling them not to talk to me. And I can see Jerry's people doing that, right? Yeah, of course. Like, hey, oh, this book's coming out? Well, don't talk to Don Bannetta. And you probably already know that if you're... But Jerry's already friends with Don.

That's what makes it work jerry got drunk with him you know gave him a clap on the shoulder and told him you're my guy and they loved that sports illustrated piece so even though they're calling it an unauthorized biography because they don't want to look you know like it's oh it's just nonsense like like meaning it's all vetted you can't do a biography without the jones jerry world being okay with you well i don't know if he's gonna be on board with these days well i would say this i would say that actually uh in a weird way you know it's kind of like trump-esque where what can you possibly say yeah or report about him that people are going to be like no way i'm out on jerry jones now like you flood the zone as we say dan

to a point where everybody knows that's his kid it's been reported everybody knows that he does this or that in the third when it comes to, you know, extramarital stuff. Everybody knows that, you know, he likes his drink or whatever. It's like, what can Donovan, like, I'm not saying it won't still be a bombshell. No, you're right. Like, the details of it will still be super, super interesting. But are there any concrete facts that you can actually put forth

that Jerry's like, please don't let that become public? What if he uncovers eight other babies? I'll bet it would be something we'd never guess. Like if he has trouble, like if he takes Viagra. Like it would be something really small and ego-related. Yeah. Maybe. like it would be something really small don't put that in there

maybe yeah no to dan's to dan's point about the only thing is you know if you uncover eight other babies but i mean i think we've all heard many stories that there there are others and there yeah. Oh yeah. Like all the NDAs that have been signed, not just about Jerry, but his family. Yeah, absolutely.

But I, I think, I think Jake is right to make the Trump comparison, which is that for every time the media kind of goes into outrage mode over this, Jerry gets new fans because it's kind of like, yeah, that's my outlaw. That my guy and it's like this is the america we built i mean you know but he has a lot in common with trump i happen to think jerry's a much more likable figure sure um and you know he's also

not running the country uh but he's running the NFL. And their narrative control is astonishing. It's incredibly good. It made me wonder how that picture of Jerry at the segregation protest leaked. That was out 10 years ago, wasn't it? And then it kind of resurfaced a couple years ago? Yeah, I think it was out there. I don't recall how the Washington Post second stumbled upon it,

but it's like with a lot of things. The timing of it was very around the Snyder stuff. It was around the Dan Snyder stuff and like Jim Trotter stuff like the NFL reporter. But dude like there's that video of him eight or nine years ago where somebody walks up to him when he's

hammered and they're at a bachelor party and he's like hey don't worry about it he's with a black girl tonight. And that just like came and went. It was like, that is so fucking racist, but it just like happened.

And everyone's like, oh yeah, we kind of forgot about it. Yeah. It's just Jerry. Like, what is that? Like,

what is, I don't know. Nobody ever talks about that. If that happened today, almost anybody else in the league, people would be like, you should be fired about that. If that happened today to almost anybody else in the league, people would be like, you should be fired for that. And it wasn't that long ago. This is not like during the Dukes of Hazzard days.

But do you remember the girls in the bathroom stall? Oh, of course. Ada, Oklahoma. God, I can't get those images out of my head. They haunt me. Yeah. Also not that long ago. And his eyes are all like vacant.

He's like so in a blackout. Like he's just barely there. And then, you know, it's so creepy. And, you know, how many of those those like that's just like a drop in the bucket of what's out there yeah and this says 2017 the bachelor party thing yeah

yeah let's see I mean that was during me that's during me too let's hear Jerry say this congratulations on the wedding wedding now you know he's with a black girl tonight, don't you? Right here, Jerry. Thank you, buddy.

Thank you. Jeez. Smooth jazz in the background. And he had to, like, double take on wedding. Whose wedding is that? No, it's literally just somebody who's like at a bar, probably a bachelor party. And they're like downstairs at a hotel and they walked up to Jerry and they're like, hey, can you record a message for my fiance? He's like, congratulations on wedding.

Wedding. So crazy. Very crazy, very creepy. That's good stuff. Well, this is Sarah Heppel. She's going to be with us at least twice a month if we can talk her into more. High profile. Might be able to.

Yeah. Go to the Dallas Morning News. Go buy her book. Go subscribe to her podcast. It's so easy. It's so easy. It's so easy. I have an essay kind of introducing myself and what I'm doing with the high-profile section

or whatever we call it, coverage, in this Sunday's Dallas Morning News, if you want to check that out. Okay. The actual printed paper. They have one of those, right? They do. People play a premium. My sweet 83-year-old father, who was a peddled newspaper

in his childhood home in Detroit, he pays extra for the good old-fashioned paper. Broadsheet. Yeah. Well, thanks, Sarah. You are the the best and we'll talk to you very soon but not next week because i'm in france next week not next week look out for concierges

they're the guys that i might find on top of me well they just they're tricky i'm not so that's the guy right there were two guys. No, I read the chapter. The chapter's available on our website. Yeah. No, it's a fantastic book. It's wonderful. And it really makes you think, hey, I'm doing fine.

I'm great. I think all the dependencies I have, I'm like, oh, I thought I was an addictive personality. I'm certainly not. I'm 13 years sober, and I don't do that anymore, mom and dad. So there you go. Hey, we're gifting you a subscription, not your mom and dad. Sarah's mom.

I don't know what you think. Sarah's mom, subscriber number 200. We have a website where you can go find out what your subscriber number 200 we have a website where you can go find out what your subscriber number is so maybe that's a reason for you to subscribe it'll be very exciting

for you to go to that website I don't think so I think I think I'll do it the other way I'm trying thanks though I'm trying thank you Sarah

I love you bye guys bye Sarah you're high profile you're very high profile that is Sarah Heppola Bye, Sarah. You're high profile. You're very high profile. That is Sarah Heppola. All right.

We actually, a very cowboy-centric part of the program, right? Do we want to do more cowboy stuff right now? Yeah, I'll play this for you because it made a little bit of headlines. I didn't actually see it until this morning, but our good friend Dalton Schultz was on the Pat McAfee show. Now, I guess now that we're like at the point where we're actually not really like media members and my brother's kind of out of the game, I think we talked about it a little bit,

but my brother actually worked for Dalton Schultz's agent for three or four years. So he got to know Dalton pretty well. In some ways, I think that helped facilitate us being able to be cool with him. Yeah, getting him on the show a few times. I think he's just a cool dude in general. He was not like Drew Brees. He knew who your brother was.

It was a very different situation. It's like a small shop agency. I was not surprised by that. I definitely knew towards the time that he was headed towards, they franchise tagged him and it's like, is he going to get a long-term

deal? I knew that it was not going that well, that he was not exactly thrilled with the way that things were working with the Cowboys. Okay, so you knew when he didn't like their offer? Yeah. I wasn't going to say that at the time, but obviously it was going one direction.

Again, what are you, complicit something? Yeah, I mean, but you could honestly probably just tell that. What would you say? Noam Chomsky and Walter Lippman. Manufacturing consent. Great book. Manufacturing consent. Oh, that's right.

I wrote it down, so I buy it. I'll get it. So, I guess what I'm saying is that, like, when you hear what Dalton Schultz is about to say, is he scorned lover? I don't know. But he's not the first guy that we've ever heard leave the Cowboys and have these sorts of comments about what it was like to play for the Cowboys

as opposed to what it was like to play for another team. One example would be Cole Beasley. Do you remember that? He kind of said, this is all about football here. Weird. Well, that's going to come up. Yeah, pop me up there. You enjoyed your time in Dallas.

I'm not going to say that. But, like, when you get to Houston, is it vastly different than your time in Dallas whenever you're talking about all the off the field? Is it? Is that real? Yeah. No, that was one of the first things that kind of stuck out to me is, like, it feels like much more – I don't want to say college because it's

not but like the focus is just football you know what i mean and going back and like telling some people like how kind of being around the cowboys like practice facility and you know game day um describing some of the interactions and stuff that you see on a day-to-day basis like surprise a lot of people they're like holy crap like that a day-to-day basis, like surprise a lot of people that are like, Holy crap. Like that actually happens like at a practice facility. And like, you know, it's just, you think it's normal. And then you come to a place like this. Like what? Like what? Like what? You don't have to out anything, but like, what are you?

No, dude, it's just like, you, there's people literally going on tours while you're listening to the weight room and they've got like a one way, they've got a one way mirror for people to like look at like it's literally it's a zoo dude there's people tapping on the glass like trying to get people's attention as they're doing you know power cleans or whatnot and it's just it's different and i mean that's the brand that they've built that's you know that's what jerry jones likes that's the way they run things and there's nothing wrong with that it's just you know you don't realize like how many you know eyeballs and how how much that can maybe you know distract from you know stuff just in the

locker room being in the facility until you go somewhere else and you're like holy crap like dude there's none of that like this is you know also a really well-run um organization in houston and i think that was one of the things that kind of scared me about like leaving Dallas the most is like, I wasn't sure what another organization would kind of feel like. And dude, I got here and it was like, this place is a well-oiled machine. Like it's,

you know, coaching staff, the coaching changes. I can't speak to the previous stuff, but like the strength staff is phenomenal. The training staff is unbelievable. Like we can, we can play the last 30 seconds here or so, but I think you get the gist.

It's the Texans. It's not like he went to the Patriots. He went to an AFC South also ran. It was like, oh my God, this team has run like a team. That's a super, super smart, perceptive, highly observational individual.

Like not to just say like Stanford guy, but I just don't think he's like BSing. And we've heard before, you know, the flip side of that is that you read the articles about like Jalen Smith and the sunglasses. And you're like, oh, you know, the flip side of that is that you read the articles about like Jalen Smith and the sunglasses and you're like, Oh, you can have a meeting here and you can find investors for your, for your product.

Um, Danucci, but dude, we've been out there before. Like I only went once, maybe I went twice, like with the show and literally like they're working out, like there are players there yeah and they'll

just like have you in to go do a show are you talking about the star yeah okay yeah no there are built-in meeting rooms above the practice field where you can have a meeting and talk about your your have your qbr then look over, then yeah, they're practicing shotgun. I mean, again, joking around the other day about a kid who had to throw a football to himself, but I mean, when we're at Connie Rosso, that's literally right there. And I mean, even in a certain extent, you think about Oxnard, the point of Oxnard is obviously, in theory, to get away from distractions, but it just becomes a tourist destination for more of the fan base. Right.

It's a marketing situation. They love that area. Everything about it just seems— That keeps them America's team if we can market out here. Market, market, market. Everything is a distraction on this team. Everything about it just seems. That keeps them America's team, if we can mark it out here. Just mark it, mark it, mark it. Everything is a distraction on this team. From the owner and the zone flooding of stories that come out with him, with him possibly contradicting something the coach might say to, you know, oh, I don't know, maybe there wouldn't mind a quarterback controversy here,

you know, just flaming that fire as well, to contract talks, to, you know, it is the atmosphere that, I mean, boy, how many arguments were on Dallas radio about whether or not taking a trip to Cabo on the bi-week actually affected them at all. Well, I do know they,

again, were the number one seed in the NFC and they lost at home to a vastly inferior team on paper. Sure. So you can keep saying it didn't affect them, but I have better proof. You know, the Patriots didn't go to Cabo. Just that mindset that it's cool to go to Cabo,

that it doesn't matter about appearances even. And you know, because I've tried to, you know, we've done things together. Let's say even when I was on the road at Clemson and I'm doing the podcast from the back room while my family's out. It's an absolute distraction. I didn't do the same show that I would have done had I had nothing around me.

So when you're like, or not you, but I'm saying when people say... Had you been here at Qualis Roofing? Yeah, but Romo and Witten can watch film anywhere. I mean, watching film on whatever TV, you can watch a film at Cabo with the beach outside.

Okay, it's not. It's not the same. Because if you are at your house, that's all you have. Or if you're at the training facility, unless it's the Cowboys training facility, but if you're at the training facility watching film it's the Cowboys training facility, but if you're at the training facility watching film, that's what you have to do. There are no

oh, possibly I can go just for a swim for 10 minutes in the ocean. You know? Oh, the girlfriend's kind of tapping her foot over here. She's wondering how long this is going to take, actually. So, yes. That is the whole... That is everything that they do.

And that's probably why with Jerry in full charge, you will never see the Cowboys in a Super Bowl again. Yeah, I mean, I think it fits in pretty well with something we've been talking about for the last couple days, which is just if this is how he acts and this is how people say that the facility runs, it's not that surprising to have Terrence Parsons and Mama C.D. Lamb and Tad Prescott and Mama Zeke Elliott. If you turn the thing into a zoo and into a circus, then everybody who's on the periphery of it is like,

well, why can't I jump in here? Yeah. They make that possible. Because that's going to feed their followers. Sure. Why not? Build a brand. Maybe maybe t-shirt company something like that but anyways gotta make when i first heard that or saw that floating around going viral yesterday it's a tough spot because I feel like the Mavericks have some of this as well, where Cuban's in a huddle wearing a football jersey yelling at refs, and they're in Sports Illustrated over a sexual harassment or assault case. And now they're hiring like a performative CEO. Like it just feels like the two teams that I love the most,

and really the Rangers have had some of this over the years, but really it's just been those two mainly. They're just not really about sports. And that's why whenever you guys get mad at me, whenever I'm like, man, I wish I was like an Eagles fan, I'm like, but think about it though. And as a kid, I grew up a Texas Longhorn fan, you know, up until the age of probably like 18 or 19. And that was the same sort of deal.

It was just all a bunch of BS. Like the teams were never really about sports. And in this league of – You know, the Ravens, the Eagles, the – But this league of parity, don't you think, like every little tiny thing that could help is important as far as winning? Of course. The margins are incredibly thin.

So it's kind of incredible that they're as good as they are. And still can't get over the hump. Despite all of this stuff. That's true too. That's a better way to frame it but that kind of makes you think if they didn't have all this stuff perhaps they do have the talent at times to maybe it just to me i feel like i've been uh uh a fan of teams that are are run like absolute reality shows for most of my life. I could have been a Browns fan, you know? Right. Does it make you feel better that they're the most profitable franchise?

It does. You know, I have six or seven Forbes pennants in my bedroom that just all say top valuation. All right. Want to do some news? Sure. I mean, I think there's particularly one thing we're going to focus on. Oh, really?

Yeah. I'm not aware. Yeah, you are. Am I? Yeah, you're aware because people sent it to you because they can't just let me do my job. Hmm. You're aware because people sent it to you because they can't just let me do my job. Mike Tyson, baby. Ah. Okay, so do we do a watching party stream?

Do we go to the fight? It's at AT&T Stadium. This was a heavily debated topic in the group chat this morning. Not with you, but with my friends. And they were like, you've got to do a live stream. Yeah. And I'm like, well, the only reason we won't be doing a live stream is if we're there. Yeah.

So Jake Paul is going to fight Mike Tyson in a boxing match streamed live on Netflix this summer, July 20th. The only reason. Cancel vacations. If you have a vacation planned, what's on the schedule? Let's see. July 7th. 20th. July 20th. Dude, we're going to sell this thing out.

Dude, let's sell a remote. Feels like it's made for the den, though. Does feel like it's made for the den. Let's sell seats. I'm just kidding. Yeah, so the only situation might be for us is like a repurposing type thing. I think we talked about this a little bit.

What's that? What do you mean? Obviously, like with our NFL streams, we don't put video of the game up. But for boxing, it feels like you might want a little bit of that. But in any case, Tyson, who will be 58 by the time the fight occurs. Yes. That's the boxer's prime. So that everybody says.

Dude, it's Jake Paul. I know. He's a... Our worlds are... I feel like we've... Lake... Huh? We've...

Westlake. Westlake. Westlake High School. That's where I went to high school. I feel like we've toyed with you. He's the second most famous guy from there. I'm number one. This exact scenario

could not be more perfect. I know. It's these two people... We've mentioned this. I know, but as a joke. Let me say this. No's these two people. We've mentioned this. I know. But as a joke. And let me say this. Right, as a joke.

No, no, no, no, no, no. When we mentioned this one time, everybody was like, you don't follow the fight game. This will never happen. I was like, well, I don't know, dude. I mean, I'm reading this story. But yes, if we were to create a Mad Lib for Dan.

Yes, and it ends it. It would be harder to do than, like. Does he dab on the haters? Is that Jake or his brother? I think they both do it. Yes, and it is. It would be harder to do than... Does he dab on the haters? Is that Jake or his brother? I think they both do it. Yeah, they're probably both dabbing. And the craziest part about this is the referee, Tiger Woods.

That's a joke, right? Yes. Okay. I don't know. Maybe it would be Tiger Woods. It's just Blake and I discussing what could possibly make Dan harder. What could make me excited. Okay.

Well, I was thinking this is around the time of the match. Judges, Bernie Kosar. Dude, you know, for a second he was like, what? When you're like showdown at Sherwood, remember that? The match, all that kind of stuff. The Tiger Woods, that's around this time of year. Yeah. And I was thinking, this is my new match.

Who's Tyson going to fight this year? Well, you got it. And at AT&T. And it's here, yes. It's perfect. Yeah, LeBron. Yeah. Dude, not even. Yeah, LeBron was a ring girl. Yeah, here, yes. It's perfect. Yeah, LeBron. Yeah. Dude, not even...

Yeah, LeBron was a ring girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not even just at the AAC, man. I have a hard time believing that they can sell 75,000 tickets for this. But again, it is Mike Tyson. I'm not the only one out there that's excited about this. I know you're not.

Now I'm thinking Dan should go. I feel like Jake Paul might be able to sell that place out. No. No chance. No chance. He is a very established boxer. He's very good.

He's done very well for himself. But he's not like Pacquiao or Mayweather or something like that. I know. That's why he'll sell it out. Because he's a bit? Pacquiao. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Just his, how many, what does he make?

18 million a month on YouTube? He's, you know, all that kind of crap. He's got more followers than we do on YouTube. Dude, and I don't know that kind of crap. He's got more followers than we do on YouTube. Dude, and I don't know if you can. It's not hard. Very low,

a low bar and a high bar. I don't know if you've seen, it's probably been like a year or so since I've seen one of these tweets, but I don't know if you've seen a video

of Mike Tyson, like, moving, but he still looks like he could absolutely take anybody's head off. Yeah. I mean, not just for a 58-year-old. He looks like he has just a jab, cross, stick move that could kill 99.999% of boxers,

not just the population. I got an old man, you guys. You don't understand what it was like when he was 19, 20 years old at his peak. Yeah. And, of course, old men were telling me that he's never going to be Ali or whatever. And I was like, boy, old man, you don't get it. He'll never lose a fight. Billy, oh man, you don't get it.

He'll never lose a fight. I mean, he was such... Fights, you would just bet on whether they would go a minute. That's how good he was. With top contenders. Yeah, I watched a couple of them. No, Tomatakans. Tomatakans, I love it. I love that.

I watched a couple of them on dad weekends. With dad and the boys. And it was just like, the only thing about it for me at that time is like, I didn't really understand the dominance as much as I understood it's over. Yeah. Like it would be. Get your party set up. Yeah, we'd wait for however long and it would take, you know,

it would take 30 seconds. And it's just like, well, what are we... Does he fight someone else now? It was incredible. I went to a Tyson... I think it was Tyson Holyfield. Not the bite ear. The bite ear one.

The ear biting one. But something in Memphis. I went with Bob. When HBO would send us to fights. I thought you went to Peter O'Malley or something like that. No, Peter McNeely. Peter McNeely, Peter O'Malley. That was his first fight after being released from prison because he had a press conference right across from where my radio station was in Cleveland.

Don King did. Don King is from Cleveland. Was it at a strip club? No, I don't think so. I'm not saying he's never had a press conference at a strip club. I think this particular one was at the Cavs Arena at the time. Any guess on the betting odds right now? Okay, are there any weird rules? Or is it just the true boxing rules? Yeah. Okay, there's no special something given to either one of them for being old and one of them for being not an actual...

Yeah, give me who's favored and by how much. 58 years old. Well, okay, let me who's favored and by how much. 58 years old. Well, okay, let me just go with, what is Vegas... Vegas wants idiots to bet. So what would I bet on? I don't know, it's Cowboys fans. You would bet on Mike Tyson. Right, I would bet on Mike Tyson.

Okay, so I say Mike Tyson's favored. I feel like Paul's gotta be favored. And I feel like he's got to be favored. Because he's what, 28, 25? Yeah, and again, pretty good. I bet Jake Paul right now is minus 115. Jake Paul's favored. Minus 500.

Okay. Okay. Dan springs into action. Dan just ran to his computer. Tyson is plus 325. I have not seen Dan move that fast. It's so long. I'm going. I'm going to my bookie.

Get it now before the idiots get in. And change it. Okay, that's how they suck the idiot in. You said, yeah. Yeah, I'm the idiot. You called the exact play. Right, right, right.

Yes. They suck you in by giving you a, hey, look, dude. You can make 500 bucks easy. Like, what an easy 500. Well, Tyson's plus 325. Yeah. So you'd make 325 on your 100.

Yeah. You're killing it. So if I bet 100,000, what do I make? Golly. You're going to bet our studio? Yes. Let's bet everything in the dumb zone account. You guys will thank me later.

Sorry, lawyers. Will we? Do you think our lawyer would be cool if we just bet everything left on his fee? On Mike Tyson? Yeah. Dude. I'll get there eventually. Boy, that's great stuff, man.

I'm not seeing it. So how do you, where do you land? That we live stream or we go? I feel like it'd be more fun to live stream, but I also feel like we'd be missing out if we don't go. Probably going to have terrible seats. You know, it's AT&T, you know? Yeah, let's live stream.

I think so. I'm good with missing out on stuff in the world, but that would be a lot of fun. And then we'd be betting there. I wonder if we could get like Soroy over or something. No doubt. Could we do a show from like the weigh-in or something? Could we do something out there? Have you-in or something? Could we do something

out there? Have you seen the video? What if we get a nice oh the helicopter one? Yeah. Where they like do the fake weigh-in type thing?

You weren't going to hide this from me. No I knew I wasn't going to hide it from you but I was just hoping that it wouldn't have been retweeted by you. I have a

oh sorry. I have a Jake Paul alert. Well, it didn't like... I feel like sometimes if I ever put show content on Twitter, it's something that I know this won't affect how I react on the show or like, because I'm... If I'm into it, I'm into it.

It's a good call. So, you may recall a couple weeks ago whenever we had a news-making doctor on the show, she delivered not only my daughter, but a gorilla at the Fort Worth Zoo via C-section. Well, they're having some problems with the baby gorilla. Not with Dr. Irwin. She's great. So the baby was delivered by one of the zoo's female gorillas who was pregnant with her first offspring.

They deliver it via C-section. But the mom gorilla who did not deliver the baby vaginally kind of showed no interest in the baby. Ah, okay. So that would be one small distinction you could make between primate and human. Human is like, okay, well, I still understand that to be mine. Whereas the ape is like, what just happened?

The ape doesn't understand that. Just because it didn't come out vaginally, it's still their baby. So they've been trying to link it with a, I guess they're calling it a surrogate, but really more of like a, almost like a ape nanny. And they can't find a home for it. Have they done skin to skin? Probably not. Gotta do a little of that. Have they done skin to skin? Probably not. Gotta do a little of that.

That's why your kid hates you. That and many other reasons. The zoo tried to train a second gorilla to become the surrogate mother of the baby on Tuesday. And I don't know why they had to announce this. The zoo announced that those efforts have failed. But that's a thing. As Dr. Irwin said, she was like, the anatomy is exactly the same.

You've messed with nature. But with humans, you can- Because in nature, you'd never have a C-section. The baby would just die or she would die, right? No, but humans are, I mean, that's also nature. It's just that we have that last thing of intelligence to understand's also nature. It's just that we have like that last thing of intelligence to understand. Yeah. Also mine.

So anatomy exactly the same. A huge portion of the intellect the same. But all these apes are like. Get away from me. Who are you? Orphan. Which is really interesting. Have you seen any monkey documentaries or ape documentaries?

Of course I've seen Project M. There was one narrated by Tina Fey a few years back. I've seen that, yeah, with the kid. But it's also very sad about the way they will treat their own or just abandon someone. Sometimes they kill them. Yeah. Like, it's just the way it is in that ape world. But it's crazy, though, because if you look at this, dude.

So this little baby, it's like, hey. Look at him. Like, that looks like a human baby. Yeah, and it looks really sad and stuff. Yeah. But, I mean, you know, the good news is, hey, you're alive.

The bad news is, you're going to be shunned by your community because you shouldn't be alive. So we saved you. We saved you into this life that's going to be one that's very sad for you. It's pretty wild, dude. They just can't find it a home.

You know what they call a, like a family of gorillas? Did I already say this? I don't think I did. No. They just can't find it a home. You know what they call a family of gorillas? Did I already say this? I don't think I did. No. Nothing. I don't know.

I'm thinking of crows, and I'm thinking of... Troop. A troop. Yeah. Like T-R-O-U-P-E? No. Interestingly enough, the double O. Okay. P-E?

No. Interestingly enough, the double O. Okay. Why do you have to do that for different animals? I don't know. Why is a crow a murder of crows? Why don't we just call all of them a family? Yeah.

Grapevine man facing animal cruelty charges for allegedly abusing a dog and starving it to death. Animal cruelty charges for allegedly abusing a dog and starving it to death. That was rude, Akash. Grapevine PD said officers got a tip in January about a dog that was barely alive. Oh. He did not say that. Behind a dumpster at the Super 8 Motel off State Highway 114. Why are we all laughing at this thing? Jake's trying to hold in a laugh, and he can't do it.

He thinks that's so funny. So I just... Like, behind the dumpster. thinks that's so funny. Like behind the dumpster. At least they didn't throw him in the dumpster. The reason I wanted to do this story was because, while it's obviously horrible, the dog did not make it. I'll get it back together. What do you think about people who read a story like this and their immediate reaction is like way more severe to someone or then to someone who kills like a homeless person

oh yeah i feel like that's the majority of people and like instinctually like animal cruelty is the worst thing it is the thing that gets you the most riled up from a criminal justice standpoint. Right. But I mean... Right, logically. But I mean, take it to the hypothetical of the... You know, you're driving down the road.

Yeah, yeah. You got to run over... Your dog. Your dog or a homeless guy. Yeah. Classic philosophical debate. But I don't know. Unless it's your dog who annoys you.

This is literally at this time the number one trending story on Fox 4's website. Now, they also have several other stories about people who have been murdered. Right, but nobody's mad about it. Nobody clicks on it. I remember last summer, it was the guy that dumped his dogs in Cedar Hill or something that was caught on video. Yeah, that's right.

Everyone tried to find this guy. That's right. I forgot about that. It was like some farm-to-market type road or something and somebody just happened to have a camera out there. He dumped it. And that story got way more pubbed. I didn't even do the thing yet.

No, no, no. That was a total misfire. Cut it out. Okay. No, I mean, I guess that's it. He just wanted to be ready. Okay. I did.

I was hovering my finger over it. He hasn't leaned back in his chair the whole time. I know. I was hovering my finger. Now I won't. No, we're done. Do you guys want to know what was trending on Twitter this morning? Because you just mentioned that was trending.

Something predicted by us, but not for now. Horse racing is done? Similar. It was a bold prediction. I don't know that I definitely have a... I don't know that I know what you're talking about, but have you seen what's happening at Iditarod? I'll have that for you tomorrow.

We're going in a lot of directions here. You're teasing tomorrow? You're not going to say it now? It's like a dog, you know, the dog thing. The dog. You don't know what the Iditarod is? I guess, no. It's the Alaskan dog race.

Oh, okay. They've had some major problems. Jim Rome used to call it the I killed a dog. Because it kind of rhymes. And the dogs. And lots of dogs die. Here's the thing, though. dog because it kind of rhymes. And the dogs. And lots of dogs die. Here's the thing, though. The dogs, they love it. Ah, yeah.

But they've had some major problems this year. I thought that might have been when he said horse racing where you were headed. No, no, no. Just a prediction on the air. And it did not come true. And it's kind of coming true, but it's just resurfaced. Greg Olson was trending today. Dude.

Like somehow, I guess there was about, was it the seventh floor? Oh, the seventh floor crew part? Yeah. There's an old clip from PTI. PTI. Yeah, Michael Wilbon. Where they're talking, that's when the story first broke. It's literally like 2004, 2005.

Right. The prime of PTI. Yeah. But it just made me think we should play that song in full someday and just break it down. I'm ready at the drop of a hat. No beeps. I need to know exactly what was said. It is really really weird

how and we've talked about this before, but just the fact that culture can move with just like someone remembered something. And happens to have an account where they're like, oh, maybe this can get 25,000 retweets. But maybe it doesn't. Maybe it doesn't, exactly. It's very indiscriminate the catch me outside girl i mean we didn't it was six months later yeah and then somehow and then it was a rerun and i think based on the rerun then a week later so somebody tweeted a clip and then it blew

up but there's and now she makes a million a month. More than that. A million an hour or whatever on OnlyFans. But there's been a million things like that where it's just like, oh. So six months after, imagine her life. Everybody just kind of forgot about it. She was on Dr. Phil. Nothing happened. There was no.

Are you mad they're stealing your bit? Feels a lot like a Kim spin. No, I mean, I think, hey, if you steal from me. You've stolen three times. That's right. Maybe four. Is this Tom Brady trying to get at Greg Olson? There's your news.

I was hovering. I wanted to try and show you how quick I could be. Oops. You got them all out of sorts. The only reason I drug it out is because he tried to play me off the stage at the Oscars seven minutes ago. Oh, man. There's just no apologizing with you and moving on, is there? Deeply sorry.

It's okay. Now we'll move on. All right. I got to rip Pop Belly real quick. It's okay. Now we'll move on. All right. I got to rip Potbelly real quick. Or the guy... Oh, man. The guy who made the Potbelly. The gallery has been waiting for this.

Okay, because... Number one, I blame myself, but the Potbelly guy should have picked up on this. Right. So the awesome folks here at Qualis Roofing, you want to join us? You want to join us for a little Today in History? Get yourself ready. This is Brian.

Everybody remember Brian? Hi, Brian. What if his last name was College Station? Would that be weird? It'd be odd. Because everybody says Brian College Station. No? You guys following that?

You know, it'd probably be a lot funnier if his name was like Dan College Station. Just saying. Everybody's a critic, Brian. Yeah. Anyway. So you guys are cool. You're like, we're going to hook up Potbelly. So Blake texts me that he wants our Potbelly order.

So I go to Potbelly. It's in the rotation. Definitely once every two weeks. Often once a week. Just with dinner with the... At least once a week. With the wife. I just want Eatsies to know

it's considerably less than we go to Eatsies. How about that? One is a thousand. The other is a million. Yeah. So I just went into my Potbelly order and I...

In fact, I tried to highlight and cut and paste. It wouldn't let me so I took a picture and the iPhone now will let you take a picture and then you can fact, I tried to highlight and cut and paste. It wouldn't let me, so I took a picture, and the iPhone now will let you take a picture, and then you can highlight, copy to text, and that's what I did because I figured, okay,

instead of looking through the order and typing it all out, I'm trying to save time. Time is money in this day and age. So this is my order every time. Veggie melt, and it goes in order. This is how you fill it out if you're sitting there filling it out. Original, so the size. White, I like the white bread, not the multigrain that it comes on.

Then it says mushrooms, and then it says avocado. So then I'll click the box there for no avocado. Because it comes with those other things. And I have to click the box there for no avocado because it comes with those other things and I have to click the box it says no avocado and this is the way it's printed on the thing veggie melt original white mushrooms no avocado comma cheddar comma provolone comma Swiss

comma mustard comma lettuce comma tomato so as I typed or pasted this in I I thought, looks kind of weird because it says no avocado, but then all those other things after avocado, you might, could you think that it meant no any of that stuff? Because it's on its own line. And so I thought, though, no, I mean, if you're filling it out, but I did, I actually had this thought when sending this text, so I thought, I should clarify that, and then I didn't. So that's my fault, because it did look to me like

I could be saying no to any of that stuff, but none of that stuff is standard. I don't know. I guess the cheese is standard. What if you had said... It's a veggie melt. What if you had, at the bottom of veggie melt. What if you had, at the bottom of the list,

just put also, you just wrote bread. What would they have given you? Okay, so here's the thing. Would they simply have charged you? So the way it's written, it says original white mushrooms, no avocado,

but then it... The way they delivered the sandwich, all it had was white bread and mushrooms. And I'm thinking, if I'm the sandwich artist there, I'm probably like, there's no way they want none of... Does he want bread and mushrooms?

Okay, so that's my number one thing. And I am blaming myself. I should have clarified with you guys. You guys are half to blame. Because that seems like a weird order for some of you. I'll accept half blame. But I saw this play developing and I didn't say anything. So I will accept full blame.

Do you see the text, Jake? While in my head giving you half blame. I sent it to you. Pull it up. Okay, yeah, because I sent mine to Blake on its own. And this is why I said your mushroom sandwich is coming. Oh. Okay, well, you didn't text me then.

Yeah, yeah. Well, so now they gave me a, it's white bread and mushrooms. Now let's go on to fully blaming the sandwich artist. White bread and mushrooms. Now let's go on to fully blaming the sandwich artist. There were maybe five. You guys saw my sandwich. Yeah.

Maybe six mushrooms on this bread. Yeah, sparse. So if somebody did say, oh my gosh, this person, they're on a weird diet. They want bread and mushrooms. If you work at Potbelly, wouldn't you say, well, let me just load it up. I'm going to fill that as if he was getting meat and lettuce and tomato, but that much mushrooms. I mean, if he really likes mushrooms, but there was literally three mushrooms per half of sandwich. It was the same amount of mushrooms. And they weren't thick.

They were thin. They were just... It was the same volume of mushrooms that you would have received if you also had seven or eight other vegetables on it. The weird thing is I've ordered this, and usually there's more mushrooms than that, too. You've ordered a mushroom sandwich? No, no.

I'm my regular one. But who ordered... I mean, it's the veggie melt. The word melt.? No, no, no. I'm my regular one. But who ordered? I mean, it's the veggie melt. The word melt. I mean, that means cheese. But this guy thought I don't want any cheese. And I want to say that I don't want tomato, even though tomato doesn't come on it.

Why would I say I don't want it? I got to be honest. That's the funniest looking sandwich I've ever seen in my life. Oddly enough, so I did pour the three mushrooms onto one half and I ate one. It was very good. I can see myself in the future just eating a mushroom sandwich.

And I probably would have never had that. You have to order extra though. But I really want to go stop by this Potbelly in Arlington, wherever it is. Hey, who made the sandwiches about two hours ago? Let's talk through it. Let me just go. You saw this order, and you thought some guy.

And then you thought, I shouldn't put a lot of mushrooms on. You probably didn't want too much mushrooms. It was like light mushroom. Okay. But I think this location is by UTA. So you think they give a damn about your sandwich? Well, it's probably a UTA student. Yes. So no, he's not thinking. He just hates his job

and wants to get out of there. But now that I'm looking back at the exact way that the text was written, I feel like you're shouldering too much blame. Me? Yeah. But I did think in my head, should I put avocado at the end? It's almost like you're dealing with an Oxford.

Well, but avocado is the first thing they ask you about. Right. Yeah, I think it's just because it's on a new line. Like when you're filling it out, you know, on the app. Anyway. I'm sorry about your sandwich. That's what happened today in history, apparently. Oh, no, no, no.

I got other stuff. Do you want other stuff? You want our stuff, Brian? Is he out of here? He's out of here. Oh, see you, man. Qualis, you can just leave at 3.15. Thanks for having us.

Yeah. Sweet. We have hot generator appointments going on this afternoon. Oh, okay. Yeah. Even in the rain, huh? That's right. You guys will do anything.

You guys really care about your customers. Yeah, that's right. That's what we say around here. Not good at ordering sandwiches, though. No, I take blame. Because I looked at it and was thinking, are they going to think this means no? So if I actually thought that it might,

I should have said something. But the sandwich guy, come on. Right? The three mushrooms. But what was he going to do, though? How about ten mushrooms per side? Just make it at least a real sandwich. Okay. Or how about

it was a $150 order. How about just throwing another sandwich with the other stuff off? Then you got one of each. Just in case. Kind of like on a multiple choice when you're like, I'm going to put C twice when I know these are the same question answer type thing. You ever used to do that?

Oh, yeah. That was like my early entree into analytics. Can't both be wrong. So it's Thursday, March 7th on this day. Oh, 1944. You ever hear of Willy Hitler? Can't say that I have. He was the nephew.

Big Bill Hitler. He enlisted in the U.S. Navy. Oh, I have heard of this, actually. Didn't he change his name when he got over here? He was initially rejected, but he received permission to serve after he wrote FDR and got cleared by the FBI. It's like, oh, sure, Willie Hitler. I'll bet you want to fight for us. Also, that's like, oh, sure, Willie Hitler. I'll bet you want to fight for us.

Also, that's like the funniest fake possible name. Like if you were like a double agent. Willie? Yeah. He then changed his name and lived quietly in New York until his death in 1987. Yeah, I mean, like if some guy, like, if some guy showed up and was like, my name's Willie Obama,

you'd be like, okay, well, you didn't even really think that hard about that. On this day in 1965, a march by civil rights demonstrators had violently broken up in Selma, Alabama, by state troopers and a sheriff's posse in what came to be known as Bloody Sunday, which makes no sense because it's Thursday.

But back then, 1965, Jerry wasn't involved in... Oh, Jerry was at Little Rock. Yeah, and I think it was like 1958. So it was a different... I thought Bloody Sunday, I guess for whatever reason, I always thought that primarily referred to an Irish thing. Yeah. Because of U2 and... Yeah.

Yeah, okay. But we just appropriated it? Looks like they may have appropriated it. Ireland did? So this was the original Bloody Sunday? 1972, Ireland. Oh, wow. Hey, yeah, USA! We original Bloody Sunday? 1972, Ireland. Oh, wow. Hey, yeah, USA!

We started Bloody Sunday. 1987, Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight title holder ever, beating James Bonecrusher Smith in a 12-round bout in Las Vegas. In 1987, Mike Tyson was 11 years old. Very tall for his age. On this day in 1994, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that a

parody that pokes fun at an original work could be considered fair use. This was concerning a parody of... Is it Larry Flynn? No, it's a Roy Orbison song. Pretty Woman by the rap group 2 Live Crew.

2 Live Crew, okay, yeah. Did the Larry Flynn thing actually end up in front of the SCOTUS? I can't recall that movie. I'll say yes. Because that's what that was about, right? Like satire? Yeah, was it for Asshole of the Month?

Or no, that was... Yeah, Larry Flint did Jerry Falwell as Asshole of the Month. It was right back there, right before Beaver Hunt. In the last couple pages of Bat Magazine. Wait, right before Beaver Hunt, in the last couple pages of Bat Magazine. Wait, you wrote Beaver Hunt? That'll make sense to you as soon as you spend 30 minutes watching the show that I asked you to watch like I watched 30 minutes of the show that you asked me to watch.

Birthdays today, we have former Cowboy Steve Berline, 58. Berline, losing the room. Lynn Swan, 71. Still one of the greatest nights of my life. Bryan Cranston, 67. Brett Easton Ellis, 59. He wrote Less Than Zero. Oh, American Psycho.

Wanda Sykes is 59. I'm only reading that just to tell you that I hate reading her name. That's how bad I don't like, how much I don't like Wanda Sykes. Dang. I've never really been a fan, but... Women are funny, though. They can be funny. Get over it.

It was just I really had to like turn on her fully when people would send me videos of her talking about how offensive it was to use the word gay and again this is a long time ago it was not a moment I'm proud of but she like was like a PSA

spokesperson people were like oh you think Space is still super gay? I don't know, man. I didn't know Wanda Sykes would be involved in this. Jeez. Is she gay? I don't even know. Or is she just pro-gay?

No, I think she's just probably pro not using slurs. She's pro getting paid to read whatever it was in front of her. You're so cynical. Jenna Fisher is 49. Office. Love her. Actually, no, I don't. Never mind. I love her character,

but as I got to know the real Jenna Fisher, she's quite annoying. Oh. Why? You listen to her podcast? Don't listen to Office Ladies. She'll drive you absolutely insane. Wow. Come on. You can't be surprised.

Abby and Brittany are 32. Wow. They conjoined twins. Commonly used these days as clickbait. Along with Honey Boo Boo's mom. You'll never believe. I'll be like, it's like engaged or something. I'm like, ugh.

It's right next to like. I pride myself on having never clicked on a clickbait. Yeah. But I will go. If you're going to. I will open a new window and search Abby and Brittany engaged. Yeah, just to see the account. But I won't click on that.

Right. They're right next to five worst foods for gut health. You're right. I will. Every single time. Eat this one food to lose 90 pounds in two days. How did he? Yeah, exactly.

You know what's funny for me? Married DFW guys getting sex on the side. I don't get that one. I don't get that one. Oh, my. You know what's funny for me? Married DFW guys getting sex on the side. Like it'll say little stuff that. Oh, my. Me neither. What's funny for me is typically I'm in the car during news in the news in the morning. And I always like to sort of just do like a slight overlay of what's going to end up there and what's going to end up here. And there, you know,

some crossover, but Abby and Brittany was not on their list this morning. Oh, really? No. No. And I enjoy that every day about your list. I try to dive deep.

I know. As you know. Yeah. And... Especially if we have some war games. Yeah. your list. I try to dive deep. I know. As you know. Especially if we have some war games. Yeah. Interesting that you say that. Yes. Because today we have former Ranger

Jeff Burrows is 72. He was the 1974 MVP. Wow. Which was news to me a month ago. I did not know he was the 1974 MVP. Wow. Which was news to me a month ago. I did not know he was an MVP. We also have former Indian,

Joe Carter, is 63. Really more known as a Blue Jay. Known as a Blue Jay because in 1993, I think it was 93, he ended a World Series with a walk-off home run. So what we have here is Jeff Burrows versus Joe Carter as we play a little War Games.

Oh, man. You know, we're going to inflate Carter because he hit the big home run in the World Series, but that's just one at bat. Burrows did win an MVP. Have you heard of any of these people, Brian? I'm kind of between y'all's ages. Like, high level.

Like, heard them in the news, but certainly not. You can't tell me anything about Jeff Burrows. Tell me how old Jeff Burrows is. 72. That's a very early MVP. Like, to me, that feels like peaking. I don't know that we're on a team here, but I'm just letting you know that is a crazy early MVP.

I'm going to go Joe Carter. I'm going to go Joe Carter as well. Brian? Copeland Lifeline. Yeah, Carter, yeah. Everybody's going Joe Carter? Yeah. You don't have a thought of your own?

You just let these guys tell you what to do, what to think? Just be up before my time. I don't tell him how to roof. Yeah, you're the sports experts. Comedy experts. I could tell you how to roofie Yeah Speaking of, you want a glass of something? I do feel a little woozy after those mushrooms

That I ate Actually, my hand, it's really cool The walls are vibrating Anyway, the answer is Joe Carter. He actually is the... 19.5 to 17.8. So it's not like you guys

ran away with this thing. Did we get the right answer? Yeah, that's all that counts, right? Is being right. That's it. Born now, they're not alive. We have Franco Harris dead on this day. Franco Harris is dead?

Yeah, I said that myself when I looked at this this morning. Because honestly, dude. We've seen him at the Super Bowl pretty recently. He was there the night of Berline. Oh. And that was just a couple years ago. Yeah, it was the Miami. 2020.

LA or Miami. Oh, that was LA. Whatever. Was it 2022? Yeah. Franco Harris died on this day. He died later that year. Died in 2022.

He was there, which was the weirdest part about it. It was called the Laughs with Legends. And the most legendary person of them all was Frank O'Harris, and he was just in the crowd. And then it was just like Steve Berline and a bunch of other spares on stage telling— well, not spares, but you know what I mean. Is that where you saw Jake Plummer? Yeah.

Speaking of mushrooms. Yeah, sat at his table, ran into him the next day, and I was like, Hey, you probably don't remember this from last night, but I was at your table when Berline bombed. We should have him on again. Let's do it. He would definitely do it. Great guy. Not a big fan of that mushroom bar, though.

You didn't like it? It didn't agree with me. Yeah. I believe in the power of the mushroom, though. Sure. I just gotta go tell that kid at Potbelly. Give me more.

Three mushrooms. Like, on each half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three. It's not a lot. You could see way more bread.

Like, just cover the bread. If this weird person with this weird diet has ordered nothing else, let's use the savings there to give them some more mushrooms. You know, this is actually a battle that I've had at Subway before because I don't like lettuce on sandwiches.

Okay. And it feels like lettuce is like half of the sandwich when you go to Subway. Yeah. So I'd be like, hey, you know. It's very light. We fill out the meat or cheese a little bit there. You know what I do at Subway? I make them put it on the other side of the sandwich because they always put the meat.

No doubt about that. They put the meat on the top and the toppings on the bottom. And they always look at me like that's really weird. He's obsessed with this. When I tell them to do that and I'm like, what do you call those things that you're putting on top of my meat? Beside your hand, baby. Yeah. You call them toppings.

Not bottomings? Yeah, you don't. I'm going to fight this one to the death. Died on this day. I think you can tell we're not going to stop you. Died on this day, we have... Yeah, I think you can tell we're not going to stop you. Died on this day, we have in 322, Aristotle. Ah. Known as the father of?

Nicomachean ethics, logic. Logic. Okay. Look at that. God, this guy knows everything. He's got a master's. He really does. Just ask him.

I took an entire course on Aristotle. Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm. I know the big Aristotle. Virtue. Yeah, Shaq. That's awesome. Stanley Kubrick died on this day.

What's he got? The Shining. I know. You don't like Stanley Kubrick? You think overrated? Sometimes I just feel like people are trying to explain a language to me I don't totally understand. And died on this day in 1959.

Hinsdale Smith. You should know his name, but you're never going to. Hinsdale Smith invented roll-down windows in cars. So imagine that on a hot day in 1920. That seems like the most

basic innovation of all time. But like, it was just a window. They should go down. Right. How, what if we could open this window? There was no way to do so.

Maybe it could like fall into the door somehow. You know, I didn't really... What are you, a witch? Because of the... Are you going to pull off this black magic? Is there a lever we can pull? No, we need to crank it down. Some mornings I will get into a rabbit hole. I should

have searched this guy because I wonder if he ended up penniless or... There's no doubt that he did not cash in on the riches, but how many times was he in the car with a buddy and the guy was like, oh, it's not. And the guy just punched out the window. But how many times was he in the car with a buddy and the guy was like, oh, and the guy just

punched out the window. Nothing you can do. Smashed it with his elbow. They're all smoking cigarettes in here. God, it'd be great to blow this out. There has to be something

we can do. Nope. Guy has a gun just firing through the window. Like, I don't know what else we could possibly do about this other than just break it every time. There you go, Hensdale.

And that was Today in History. Well, Brian, what a day this has been, huh? Thanks for coming out, guys. Was it what you dreamed? Everything and more. Okay. Yeah. A lot of us were like,

certainly all the partners and a bunch of our teammates here. We're all a year, two, three P ones back in the day. So, uh, we've been listeners for a long, long time.

Followed the whole saga as it went through. And, um, yeah, it's been awesome to have you guys out. Appreciate it. What day was your sub? Did we get this? Day one, I looked it up.

419. Number 419. Did you have 421? Almost got 420, bruv. He emailed in. Like Tuesday or something. Yeah. 419. Do you feel a kinship with those people? The other day one-ers? I mean, if I could have their email, I'm sure we would exchange jokes.

Or Facebook group or something like that. Maybe we can set that up. Maybe we can set up a date. Day one Facebook group? A Discord date. Would you like to come over, perhaps, for the case of Jake Paul? Count me in. That would be a...

I knew where you were going. That would be a blast. Yes. Yeah, I think it's going to be great. That would be a blast. Yes. Yeah. I think it's going to be great. That'd be a blast. I can't wait to make so much money betting all you guys. I'll bet all you guys. Uh, so was that your closing remarks? What do you got? Uh, yeah, not much. Just, yeah, we all, we've been longtime fans. I moved to England for a few years and like the ticket and you guys, Bad Radio, Hangzone, that was kind of my connection

back home. Why did you do that? It's for work. Yeah. Took the family out there. All the roofs? Before this, I was in tech. So I worked for Microsoft for about a decade and worked for Workday for about a decade.

How do you like it over there? It was awesome. We lived in Windsor, which is where the castle is, where the monarch stays. Okay, so you've been to France and stuff? Yeah, we would go maybe once a month. It's all wonderful. Great food, so much to see.

We're going back to France in September this year. Do you speak any? No, none. I spoke enough to order food, which is basically, I think it's like, que preferrer to, which means what do you prefer. Okay. And only got like one bad meal out of that. Got some pate. It was 80 degrees.

Que preferrer to is what I say to the waiter. Yeah, like French people will say that that's completely wrong. But yeah, something like that. Is what I say to the waiter. Yeah, like French people will say that that's completely wrong. But yeah, something like that. Okay. I believe at that point you're asking the waiter what they would like, like what they would think is good. It seems like it's in Spanish, right? But here, you know how you'll make fun of your dad?

Yeah, for hola. Yeah, right. From what I've been told by everybody. You're white. By everybody who has been to France, they say everybody speaks English. They want to practice it, right? But they will treat you like you're the ugly American

if you walk in just like, hey, I speak English. You have to give a greeting. You have to say bonjour. They'll say bonjour. You say bonjour. Give them a quick, hey, I'm trying a little bit. And then they will quickly go into English once they realize you don't really speak French.

They appreciate that you are honoring them with saying, yes, I realize this is your language, and I'm making a little effort here. For sure. So you know, even in Mexico, the cab driver I played for you that did his impression of uh english women yeah you may not recall this yeah yeah yeah he was like just make sure you've got like five things

you know your basic hola buenos dias you know gracias de nada por favor and he's like and then from there because he was a bartender for like 40 years he was just like we don't really care he actually said like we don't really care if you don't speak Spanish, but you got to at least do the niceties. Okay. I just assumed that was because Mexican people are awesome, whereas, I don't know, Parisians or French people might be like. Well, you always hear what assholes French people are.

They're a little uptight. They are. Yeah. Oh, you're here to confirm that? Yeah. I met enough of my French au pair's friends to know that they're assholes. Au pair boy. That's right.

I forgot he has an au pair girlfriend. You hear a lot of Americans go over there, though, and they'll speak in English really slow in a French dialect, thinking somehow the French are going to be able to translate Just to go right back to my dad at the restaurant. Yeah, it's very similar. Well, anyway, dude, it's great. I'm glad you had us

out here. Thanks so much. Thanks for coming out. Thanks for trying to get us more subbies. We want to keep pushing it. And thanks to Michael Copeland. Oh, Michael Copeland. Can we put it across the screen here? It's right up there somewhere. He was here at 8 a.m. this morning setting everything up.

Damn. He's a beast. Yeah. He's awesome. Yeah, he's a good dude, man. And he really loves Bono. Or at least he tells us he does. All right.

Well. Yeah, thanks, guys. See you later. Adiosios mofo We'll be party there. We got the sport. When we hit the airwaves. It's the puppy new resort.