The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 4-1-24

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

Subscribe to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneStrap in for another mind-boggling episode of The Dumb Zone, where we explore the quirky, the questionable, and the downright dumbfounding. In this episode, we're unraveling the twisted tale of the most unusual getaway vehicle ever – a Lamborghini and a Corvette involved in a street race gone wrong. The twist? The cars belong to none other than Richland Rebel's own Rashee Rice. We dissect the high-speed chaos that led to an explosive crash on a Texas highway.But the madness doesn't end there. We're also diving into the peculiar case of a cordless vacuum battery that decided to go out with a bang, literally exploding and setting a family's house ablaze. And as if that weren't enough, we take to the skies with the story of an abortion pill advocacy plane that flew over a Rangers game, raising eyebrows and questions alike.We wrap up with a look at the upcoming solar eclipse that's got everyone buzzing – except for the weather, which seems to have other plans. We ponder the potential disappointment of eclipse chasers and the astronomical impact on local hustles if the celestial show gets clouded out.Join us on The Dumb Zone, where normal is just a setting on the dryer, and every story is a head-scratcher. Whether it's sports scandals, explosive home incidents, or astronomical anomalies, we're here to make sense of the senseless with a pinch of sarcasm and a heap of humor. (00:00) - Open (15:52) - Mavs Pt. 1, Nicki Collen audio (27:05) - Viewer Mail (53:55) - Mavs Pt. 2 (01:14:09) - March MBR (01:46:21) - News (02:00:11) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week.

Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program. The Dunza. So, said you were looking for me. So. Come on. This about the Easter baskets? I don't even know what that is. And they tell you that you taught them one or no. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

I never listen. I'm gonna listen. I wanna listen to the drums. Happy Easter, Jake. Come on. What? We just started recording but then had to start again. And the first happy Easter I gave was really, like, I felt it.

I meant it. Yeah, it popped. It was the first time I had verbally said it to you. I texted it to you like 100 times yesterday. Well, I felt it all 102 times. Yeah, and now that last one, though, yeah, it's like that's just too many now. Anyway, happy Monday, too, Jake. Happy Monday, Jake.

See, that's the way I said it. Yeah. Happy video day. We're doing a video day. Here from Paramount Solutions. Does Paramount mean like the final solutions? Or the highest solution? Like the highest level of a solution?

I'm not doing a Nazi Germany thing. You just looked. Yeah, I feel like you are. No, I didn't mean that. I just meant what's paramount is I'm trying to look for the peak. This is the best solution. There could be no other solution. Exactly.

I mean, you tried the other. We were at, didn't we do a show for Mediocre Solutions a couple weeks ago? Yeah, we did. We did Mid Solutions. Mid Solutions. But here we are in Dallas. Live to tape. Live to video. The-hmm. Live to video.

Mm-hmm. The great Michael Copeland. Throw up some Michael Copeland, Michael Copeland Productions, or what is it, copelandproductions.com? He has his own pink Stanley. It's pink? It's pretty pink. Rosé?

Yeah. It says Copeland Productions on it. Okay. The ladies love it, as they love him. They should love him. I think he should be the face of our show. He's honestly like the hottest man I've ever seen in my life. Yeah.

Do you guys agree? Oh, yeah. He's a good-looking man. Yeah. Gallery says so. Yeah. Yeah, schedule us for a remote, and you will see. Like, that's part of the—

That's what you're paying for. It's the eye candy. Yes, Jeremiah. Jeremiah Garcia, right? Is the proprietor, the owner, the head honcho, the governor of Paramount Solutions. We need to talk to Jeremiah at some point today. But thanks for having us out. We are broadcasting live to video.

Paramount Solutions. You got a website and stuff? Paramountinmotion.com. Okay. I'm kind of sick. Do I sound cool? You sound awesome. Yeah.

Yeah. Like I feel like right now I could do like a like a Marvel movie trailer. We should have you read read our bumpers and stuff because

Yeah. Like right now I feel like Just say you're listening to You're listening to The Dumb Zone. That's awesome. Yeah. Imitate this. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. Okay. You're listening to you're listening to the dumb zone yeah imitate this you're listening to the dumb zone

okay you're listening to the dumb zone give me one of these the dumb zone the dumb zone the dumb zone the dumb zone

the dumb zone the dumb zone doesn't it sound cool dude it does yeah you could narrate my NFL films uh Hard Knocks or something yeah it sounds kind of cool Dude, it does. Yeah. You could narrate my NFL films.

Hard Knocks or something. Yeah. It sounds kind of cool. Do the Dak pick six in the playoff game. Shut up. We're not putting that in there. Or does not. Anyway, we have a program for you today.

A Paramount program. Are you sure? No. I'm not either. But the run sheet looks kind of good. Yeah. It's not bad. Not great, but you know, big dance. Shut up. The fever. What? You don't have the fever. I do.

I have audio to prove it. We have Rasheed Rice on the docket today. Jake on the Mavs. We finally get to read the D Magazine article word for word with a real deep, cool voice. Baseball Blake, maybe. Definitely Blake, monthly business review.

It's the first of the month. Hey, April Fool's, huh? Hey, April Fool's Day. It's the first of the month. Do we have anybody see any good, bad bits for April Fool's today? You know, I feel like the brands are chilling out a little bit. Am I crazy? It used to be like when brands were first getting on Twitter,

this was the big rage. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to announce. The Steelers are like, we signed Snoop Dogg. Wendy's is like, we're going chicken only or something. Yeah, hilarious. Have you seen what The Hot will do on April Fool's? What's that?

The Hot? Go on. They'll post a... What's The Hot? Girls. Just a hot girl. Oh, okay. He's big on the gram, dude.

That's all he's doing. This is a big Instagram thing. That's all he does, scroll through. The hot will put up a bikini pic or something and then put the, like an only fans link. And you're like, Oh, finally I've been waiting for that. Okay. And then you click it and it's an April fruit. All right. So you did a couple of those today. Oh, yeah. That's a great idea. Michael should do that. How did you get caught up in that so many times? I just want it to be true. Jeez.

How desperate. They have like porno. I know, but it feels like you know them. But if somebody you know, yeah. Like if my wife's friend put up an OnlyFans link, I'd be like, You're definitely in. Oh, man. man okay and those and then they should

be able to to to reverse it to where they know who clicks on it yeah and then she tells my wife i forgot about the porn thing the other day oh you went to the hub i've been out of the game for a little while i did too yeah and it popped up and I was like, oh no, dude. Big long. And then I went to some other sites that I thought I could just get around. No. Owned by the same people. Yeah, man.

And there's a big long disclaimer and then a thing and I didn't want to do it. Yeah. Well, this will come up in the MBR. So I just got my binoculars and went to the neighbors. Jesus. But you found actual like Polaroids of your friend's parents. I did once, yeah. Those were not the greatest pictures you'd ever seen.

No. But because they were your friend's parents. Yeah, no. Gravity had taken its effect, to say the least. How was the grooming era that you found that in? If I found those as a little kid. Outdated. Yeah.

At best. It was like the mid to late 90s. And I don't know when these photos were taken, but they look like they could have fit in the mid to late 70s. I would say. Some dudes are into that, bro. I know. Yeah.

I mean. No way. So not having kids at home anymore, it makes Easter a day. Just a day. And it was really kind of glorious because I knew you guys were busy with your families. And, you know, anybody we're working with here pretty much has families and stuff. So it's like, okay, well, I actually won't.

I mean, I actually, what I did for work is worked on taxes. Yeah. Because we all have to do that now. But, you know, I didn't do the hiding eggs or hiding baskets or all that kind of stuff, going to an Easter egg hunt or what they call an Easter egg hunt in this woke generation, day and age we're in. Shameful. With just eggs lying in the middle of a field, and then they say go.

You're not hunting for anything. You're just gathering them. But let me hear the tales. Tell me how have things progressed since I've gotten out of the game? Yeah, we did ours at a park. So it wasn't just like roll it out in a field. There was some level of hiding, like on a playground. But, you know, it wasn't what I remembered as a child.

And how many kids are there? A dozen. Oh, that's it? Yeah. Oh, okay. It was family. Oh, okay, good, yeah. Yeah, cousins and...

Because we would always do that in the backyard, our backyard. Yeah. Not just anybody's. You know, hide eggs around for the kids, but we would put, like, coins, and then the big egg had, had like a five dollar bill in it that lives on okay yeah that's pretty much pretty much what it was you didn't do candy no i mean the rest of them had candy in them so it was it was pretty basic we uh apparently my wife's family would have an indoor Easter egg hunt in the morning.

That seems dangerous. Well, I mean, he's two, so we didn't have to put him anywhere crazy, but we just hit him in the couch. Climbing up the side of the fridge. Yeah, getting in the fireplace. And so that's how the morning started with him just kind of going around the house trying to find him, and that was cool because he'll stop in each egg, like open it oh candy next egg oh candy he's like the same level of excitement every single time oh candy and then we did we

went to her parents house uh over in Fort Worth and had an outdoor one with all the family yeah got together and ate and I feel like sides are at an all-time high. Food? Yeah. Okay. Do tell. Well, I feel like growing up, it was all about the meat. What's he talking about?

But now it's like just a quarter of your plate is the ham or turkey or whatever. And then you get your green bean casserole, your mac and cheese, your fruit salad, your pasta. I feel like we're stoked on sides now. There's something to that. I remember a few years ago, Junior saying that he thinks food is better now than it's ever been. Okay. And I think I agree with that.

Huh. I don't know if it's just like cable, like the television shows or magazines or the internet like you really can't serve weak shit anymore right growing up it was you got to find a girl that can cook and now like it's pretty easy to yeah i feel like you just follow the ingredients or recipe that's what you do isn't that what most people do you you don't make anything. No. If I make anything, I go to YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. Of course.

And figure that out. Even like hard-boiled eggs. Oh, did you guys paint eggs and all that at home? Did you do that stuff? No. Okay. I used to always do that. I enjoyed being a part of that.

Yeah. In fact, I led it. It's fun. Yeah. Make a little Ike egg. Mm-hmm. Make a little fun stuff. A little a little Ike egg. Mm-hmm. Make a little fun stuff. A little tie-dye egg.

No? Not yet. No, we tie-dyed. We did all of it. I do remember when I was a kid, I felt like the egg hunt was a lot more aggressive. Oh, yeah. It was a competition.

Like, we didn't just roll them out in a field like they do at the White House. Well, we did a woke house. We did a woke one for our kids. We had two kids. They would be the only ones. We didn't have 12 kids doing it. So it was, we had two eggs of this, you know, what do you, you have like 15 eggs and they

all have slightly different colors. And so if you find one that's the same color as one you found, you got to leave it there. Yeah. Hmm. So you will end up with 15 eggs in the end like one of the kids won't be upset that's smart less yeah but i just i remember when i was a kid like it being like a full contact sport yeah and my my dad would tip me off of where like the five dollar bill was and he he made me get that one yeah so yeah So yeah, it was a fight for that. For the college fund?

Whatever. For his Copenhagen or something. Do you not hide baskets in the house? Because we would hide baskets in the house. We didn't hide the baskets. And this is probably because this is how I grew up. We'd hide baskets in the house. Like one year it was in the shower and I turned on the shower and showered the basket. But a basket full of whatever chocolate know, whatever, chocolate and stuff.

No. Big giant chocolate Easter bunny, which I would gnaw on every day for about the next three weeks. Yeah. Disgusting. I was kind of worried. That's how this body was built. I was kind of worried how much candy Brooks had yesterday, but I don't know.

You got to let it go. Yeah. Yeah. Just let it be. As long as he can fall asleep't know. You got to let it go. Yeah. Yeah. Just let it be. As long as he can fall asleep at night. That's all you care about. Yeah. Well, I got this in the mail.

Just checking the mail? It's in the mail mail. An Easter card. And this is from, it's not actually to me it's from a friend of my wife

and her kids and it's just happy Easter wishing you a wonderful and then their name the point is it's exactly like the Christmas card

yeah it's very it's you had a you know the kids are crying they're sitting in Easter Bunny's lap yeah and

just do we do we need to add this to the things we got to do it's a bit much yeah like who sends an easter card yeah it's a bit much i mean really like at the the heart of it it's just it's just showboating it's just him being like, look, my kids are happy and they're alive and they do fun stuff. I always like if you, uh, the family pick, cause then we could see the mom in there.

Yeah. You know, maybe just the mom. That's what I wish my wife's friends would do that. Speaking of only fans. Yeah. Just send a picture of you, especially during these tough times.

These tough times here in Texas. Don't they know what we're going through? Mavericks haven't lost since they got shut down. That's true. Since what got shut down? The Hub. Oh, really? Yeah.

And until the other night. Are you saying like the Mavs are real focused? Everybody's really dialed in. Until the Mavs and Rockets played, they were both undefeated. It's true. They were like 11 straight. Yeah. Yeah.

I saw the Mavs. I saw Luca's mom was there last night. She was. I'm telling you. Do I have to even tell you that? Of course not. A buddy of mine who lives down there went to the game, and he was like, I'm going to try.

I'm trying to get a pick. Failed, but he tried. Anytime Luka's mom is at the game, you have to hit his overs, especially for points. Because I feel like he balls out when his mom is there. It was a big weekend for the Luka family situation. Kind of like the Hardaway dad bit? Same bit, right?

Yeah. Interesting. Go on, Jake. Well, I mean, I don't know if we want to do Mavs now, but I mean. Slide right in. We can do whatever the hell we want. He yelled at Vladi. Yeah.

Vladi, Vladi. This was reported, and then ISTAC confirmed it to us. Vladi and Sasha Doncic don't get along. Luka's dad. Yeah, yeah. uh vladi and sasha donchich don't get along and the lucas dad yeah yeah the uh suspicion is that that's part of the reason why the kings didn't draft him ah yeah okay is it vladi was like fu to lucas dad and then if you haven't seen the clip after he hits the free throw and then xm hits uh well xm had already hit the three so then luuka puts, hits the free throw to go up four. Then I think it might have been De'Aaron Fox, like heaves up a three, and then Luka's coming to the bench, and he's just waving at him,

and he's like, you should have drafted me. It even started at the free throw line. It started at the free throw line, yeah. Yeah, because Vladi was sitting courtside. Yeah. No one believed in Luka. I mean, everybody can. I mean, it's different than Durant, though, right?

Yeah. The Hawks weren't going to take him. That's why they traded. Luka? Yeah. They actually didn't believe in him. And neither did Sacramento, and neither did... Phoenix.

Phoenix. With Aiden. I don't know. did Phoenix. Phoenix. With Aiden. I don't know. It was cool. And the fact that, yeah, Durant never really, I mean, he was, I think,

the best player in the game for a while, but it never feels like he had emerged as, like Luka is talked about as Jordan. The next Jordan, the next LeBron. He is the best in the league, even if he's not the MVP. Durant, for a couple years, was the best player in the league, I think.

And maybe we can argue about that. I'm not really going to look up into it. It doesn't feel like you're a guy who wants to argue about that. I'm not really going to look up and do it. It doesn't feel like you're a guy who wants to argue about that. But, yeah, Luke, I guess that would be a different thing too when you're now at this level. Did you see some numbers on, like, Luca, if he gets first-team All-Pro again, which he will? The contract?

Yeah. Yeah. first-team All-Pro again, which he will. The contract? Yeah. Yeah. It's not until next summer, but it's like five for $346 million. That seems like a lot.

Yeah, no. We never brought up his truck. I agree. What's that? His space truck. But it's, what, six wheels? Yeah. Dallas, Texas TV caught him driving out of the AAC and stopping to sign autographs,

but it's the most over-the-top truck you've ever seen. Six wheels. Maybe even 12, I don't know. But it's just, it's funny to see him driving that. Yeah, he's an interesting study. Just because it's different than a guy just getting all the, you know, you wonder how somebody's going to react to the big contract and stuff, but he's always been Luca, right?

He's always been like the best player on his team, and he still is, and, you know, that's, I guess, the rarity. $350,000 Jeepep truck just for fun I can't believe we've gone this far without talking about how we're all going to be locked in on LSU Iowa tonight I thought we're in Mavs talk right now no we're not I want you to watch this game okay why. Why? Dude, it's Kim Moki, hit piece Kim Moki and Caitlin Clark. Did you read it? It sucked.

It didn't suck. It's a good article, but Did you read the whole thing? Pretty much. I skimmed a couple paragraphs to be honest with you. I woke up Saturday to a lot of real deflated online. Was it Saturday that it was released? Or Sunday?

No, it was Saturday, I think. Let's see, yeah. But whatever, just reading all the social media comments, just like, yeah. Like, I think one of the popular comments that I agree with was, I want to read the article that I thought that she thought they were writing like that's very uh the Easter baskets Tony Soprano yeah like she thought oh my gosh they must have this this and this on me that I know I did uh so I have to go on the offensive

now and then this comes out and this is like it just says she's tough, hard-nosed, right? Like, what was the big negative? We all know already she's not totally on board with her gay players. Okay, so if it insinuated that, and every coach, you know, it's more of a Bob Knight type thing, right? Yeah, guys didn't like playing for him.

All right. You do have options. You don't have to go play for him or her. Yeah. That's pretty much it. I mean, there's not much to it. Like, she's female Bob Knight. So there was another article, too.

Did you see that? I did not. Okay, there was an LA Times article. I think it was LA Times. Do you get free subscriptions to WAPO for being in it? No. Man, we should. We should.

We definitely should. We had to pay for the pictures. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I can understand that, but at least throw you a free year or something. We didn't have to pay before it got into WAPO. We paid for using them after. Correct, like licensing. They didn't say, hey, if you want your picture with an article, you can pay us.

No. That'd be good, though. We would have done it. Yeah. We definitely would have. Yeah. Actually, I have other women's basketball audio related to this because we're not going to go back to this, right?

I would imagine not. No. would imagine not no so in this uh i think there was a la times article which uh was talking about the women's tournament and talking about uh kim mulkey but then also talking about the current baylor coach and the current baylor program and the current baylor coach i mean i don't have to tell you but just for those listening that don't know, Nikki Collin. The great. Yeah, Nikki Collin. And, I mean, ever since she's got there,

they really play a Nikki Collin brand of basketball. Put her imprint on things. And so she, if you remember the story last week, or was it even two weeks ago, Kim Mulkey mad at articles she didn't read. In fact, mad at an article that hadn't been released and wouldn't be for two weeks. But this is the headline of the Baylor coach, Nikki Collin,

mad at an article she didn't read. And this is the very end of her press conference the other night. After Baylor was sadly eliminated. Yes. I think I set it up with was, so you should have known that. Not that was advancing to. You know, I just wanted this one for those kids, but I wanted to coach another game.

I told them in the locker room that as much as I've coached in a WNBA five-game semifinal series, this is certainly the furthest. I mean, I'm a pro. But she was pumping up her kids by saying, you know, I've been to some of the highest levels. Yeah. I've been to a WNBA five-game semifinal series, so. You're a jerk. Five-game semifinal series, and this is certainly the furthest that we've gone since I've been at Baylor.

And so I told him I'll be better. Like I will be better because we'll start to get used to, you know, there was no doubt. I'm not afraid to say I was really, really offended by the article that came out. Oh, my God. I didn't read any of it. I didn't read any of it. Yeah, this is the funniest part of this is, of course. I'm not afraid to say I was really, really offended

by the article that came out. And I didn't read any of it. I didn't read any of it. I mean, really, that should invalidate anything you're about to say. Don't know what happened. Didn't read the article, but nothing's withering in Waco. So apparently that was a term.

Nothing is withering in Waco. And we're going to do it our way. Except the dude who's with me. And it's going to be just as good. It is. But nothing is withering and we are not a first tier team. And you can't say we are. You can't get to the Sweet 16. We we are not a first-tier team, and you can't say we are.

You can't get to the Sweet 16. We are not not a first-tier team. And take a number one seed down to the wire. So she didn't read it, but she knew that they called them not a first-tier team. But she wants you to know that she's not a not first-tier team. In a one-possession game and say anything's withering in Waco. We got down to one possession against some other teams.

We only lost by 11. But I'm excited to have this backcourt back. And there's a lot blooming. I'm going to say not withering. There's some stuff blooming in Waco. That's right. Oh, my God, that's gay. If he wants to come do an article and come to Waco

and write about it next year, he's welcome. Coach, we appreciate your time. Thank you. Okay, so how did she know that they use the term wither? Because somebody texted her. Wither. She knew that they're not a first-tier team. The line is, let's see here.

Long after, well, I'll fast forward. Baylor is no longer among the sport's upper tier, another structure abandoned and left to wither. So it's a 3,500-word article. So that's the part she took. Extremely offended. I didn't read it, but I am pissed. I'm offended.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it is interesting, though, and I don't know, maybe a good thing for the gender-sexes relationship that both male and female college coaches take all this the same. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're all the same. We're all the same. Yeah.

We're all very sensitive. Too thin-skinned. Very thin-skinned, yeah. Hey, let's do a little of this. Get some birthdays done. Hey, everybody. It's time to answer some of today's viewer mail. And then we'll do your Mavs.

I mean, I thought we were doing Mavs, and then you guys were like, no, no, no, we're not. This isn't Mavs. You said we could do whatever we wanted. That's what I thought. Gosh, darn it. I isn't Mavs. You said we could do whatever we wanted. That's what I thought. Gosh, darn it. I hate when you use logic.

Hey, let's have Jeremiah join us for a second. Let's do that. Since this is viewer mail. This is Jeremiah Garcia. Viewer. Viewer. You can take that one right there. He's a viewer.

Yeah. Isn't he not? Isn't he not? Isn't he not? Is he not? Brit. Buenos dias, Dan. Day two, 1666. Can I get a shout out for my Brad Doherty birthday?

Tip talk. I used to work maintenance at a former hotel and resort in Las Colinas, which is the best tip? The 250 per diem from a Houston Astro All-Star. So he's gotten that, he's saying. Okay. $500 from an oil executive. That's less.

Or cashews from Sir Paul McCartney. He handed them to me. What? Yeah, I mean, I got to go Altuve. It's money. Who cares? Yeah, it'd be pretty cool to hang out with Paul McCartney a little bit. He didn't really hang out with him.

He just got nuts from him. My leaders are Kip and Bodie, hashtag dog dad, more Blake, good luck with my last name, Abel Esquivel, I would say. Esquivel. That sounds good. Yeah. You did pretty good there. Look, Abel, I lived in Mexico for a brief time.

That's pretty good. Pretty good. Here's Jeremiah Garcia joining us. Oh. Of Paramount Solutions. That's right. Jaramount. Jaramount Solutions. That was my first. First idea. That was my first idea, but it didn't, yeah. That's right. Jerramount. Jerramount Solutions.

That was my first. First idea? That was my first idea, but it didn't, yeah. It was taken, so I couldn't do it. Let me finish the birthdays, and then I'm going to get to your original. Hey, my birthday's tomorrow. If that means anything to you guys. What if you mail it in?

No, I didn't. I shouldn't. Well, you still have time. Honey, it seems like many hours. Send in an email about my birthday tomorrow and tell them who my leaders are. You want to tell us today? What do you think of Michael? She has to know.

Do you want more or less Blake? Good-looking dude, right? More Blake. Oh, no. And here's a controversial opinion. More Michael. Oh, whoa. Why have we never seen him?

He's the video guy. We don't know what he looks like. How about a little just off mic, Mike? You know, just something, if he finds something amusing. Blake doesn't want anyone else to get any time. Yeah, I've heard that. Very true. I've heard that.

He did tell us that when he came in. He whispered that under his breath, but I... Yo, Bracket Dan, wish me a happy birthday April 1st. Look, they're going to ask you about more or less, Blake. I need you to say more. It's always more, Blake. I need you to say more. It's always more Blake. I'm on a boat headed to Mexico, but I'll hear this when I

hit port. My leaders are you, Heart Attack Guy, and Blake. Less Jake. Well, tough shit. It's my show. Don't know what to tell you. Stop sweating the time. Most of us put three hours of our day to listen to you. Take a page from Stern, he says.

Ramiro Aguirre. I had the exact same thoughts. You guys talk about, should we cut it at two hours? Should we go six hours? We'll listen to it. Nobody cares about the time. Well, I don't think anybody cares about the time. And I've had the same thought.

Stern, go. Whether it went four hours or six hours, that's what they did for the day and then repeated it all day long that's what you guys need to do as well on dumbzone.com when you get it just a continuous loop of our show the show all day long do it do an after show do everything that's where i can show up he's an ideas man yeah you know yeah that's where ideas man that's where we'll give Michael his own solutions it's the Michael show Uncle Hottie I thought I'd

hop on the superior hotmail platform send my yearly birthday shout out I'm the legal weed dealing dumb F in Oklahoma and I turned 34 March 30th you and Jake's big phone are my leaders if you're willing to plug a plug on the and I turned 34 March 30th. You and Jake's big phone are my leaders. If you're willing to plug a plug on the pod,

I'd love for any fellow dumbass to check out my dispensary, Kanna, K-A-N-N-A, Kures, K-U-R-E-S. Everyone in the room is typing that in right now. Just don't know why you had to replace that K. In Broken Bow, Oklahoma. Thanks, I'll hang up and listen. From Alexa.

I saw this place. So is Alexa saying she's a legal weed dealer? Mm-hmm. But if you're in Oklahoma, let's just say I had a friend that wanted to drive up there but didn't. You know what? We should just talk to her off the air. Okay. You're about to blow everything open.

In Texas, or if you were in Oklahoma, you could talk about this freely. That's the... Sure. Well, you can't... You have to have a... From what I understand, you have to have an Oklahoma driver's license or address. You do, but it's a lot easier than you think. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Because I was going to ask you, Jake, where did you get your fake ID when you were a kid? I'll go there. In McLovin, Oklahoma. Do you want me to tell that story again? Where'd you go? Vicon Village. Anybody here familiar at all? It's over in like a really bad, well, I mean, at the time,

it was a really bad part of Dallas. And I got an Oklahoma ID. I was 18 and they had me fill out the paperwork and I wrote down my address, which was, uh, on Brown trail in Bedford. And the guy was like, do you want me to put Bedford, Texas on this Oklahoma ID? You, you put your real address. Yeah. It was just a form, you know? I wasn't thinking about it at all. He's honest. And he was like, yeah, you really want this on here? Bedford, Texas. I don't know Oklahoma ID.

I'm like, shoot. Do you still have your fake ID? No, confiscated. The night that Texas beat Ohio State in 2005, I want to say. And, funny story about that that too. You know me. So the guy, it had worked a thousand times. And I went into a bar on 6th Street, or I tried to. And the guy was like, well, this is clearly a fake ID. And he's like, so I can either take it or I'll give it back to you and I'm going to call the cops. And I'm like, call the cops?

I was like, this is absurd. And he's like, dude, for real? He's like, you're going to go to jail. Did you then back down? Yeah. Okay. But I protested for like 30 seconds, you know? Sadly, watch that thing.

I'm like, this is, you know, an injustice. He's like, you're a moron. Like, I'm letting you off. But I bit the hand that fed me. Yeah. So then I waited outside for like two hours while my friends whose IDs did work were inside.

Yeah. Dan, please wish day one DF number 134, Michael Straubmanman happy 40th. Probably Stroban. Stroban? If I had to guess. Let's see.

His leader is the fan, but apparently people in the industry don't know what that means. Happy to see the listenership base growing, and congrats on the studio moves. Okay. What, that's for the fan to decide? Nope. I think he's talking about the fan, the radio station. You obviously don't know what the radio station is either.

It's the fan, it's a radio station. I've heard of it. That you compete with, okay. Why is it funny? There was some confusion on a stand at one point during the lawsuit. Oh. Famous radio person had not heard of the stand. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Got it. But maybe he was just like, you just proved right there. Yeah. He was a little confused as to what we were talking about here. Got it. Okay, that is funny. Day one, number 371 j and my final uh viewer mail

is a reminder of a poor segue this guy says uh steve says the below headline reminded me of the dana carvey documentary in the home improvement seg to his show that you recently discussed. Okay. You brought that up, right? Yeah. So it was like a goofy Dana Carvey show, but it was like a, what, the kid had AIDS or the kid's dying or something, right? Cancer. Yeah. Whatever.

I think Walker was the one with the kid with AIDS. Okay. So the headline, this is about recent news, says, First thing. So the column's called First Thing. Two bodies recovered after Baltimore Bridge collapse. Okay, two bodies have been recovered. So now they have the little, what do you call the smaller headline and then the article?

Just like a subheading? Okay. Yeah. The subheading, four other construction workers who were on the Francis Scott Key Bridge when it collapsed this week still missing and are presumed dead. Plus, the cost of a burrito.

Yeah, there are more. I would love, I'm going to fast forward to that second part. Yeah, there are more... I would love... I'm going to fast forward to that second part. Yeah, yeah. What do they get me for now? F'ing Biden. Inflation. So, Jeremiah Garcia is a viewer as well,

and a listener. And first reached out, according to my hotmail records which oh boy another thing about hotmail it'll just save emails yeah it doesn't like automatically delete them that's crazy i thought it was cyber dust yeah and he uh originally emailed, please accept this email as my petition to work for, assist, contribute to, or otherwise dedicate all my creative powers to Dan, Jake, Blake, and all things dumb zone.

And then you have a pretty long email here. I'm not going to read the whole thing. Do you remember this? Yeah, I poured my heart out to you. Were you a couple drinks in? Yes, yes. Oh, you don't even know. I wrote that over several weeks and many drinks, editing and having people proofread.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But, no, you know, just to say, hey, if you guys needed any help while you were branching out on your own. But yeah, I mean, you guys seem to be doing pretty damn well. Says you. Well, slow down. Boo.

Says you were a YouTuber yourself. Oh, man. Yeah. But it wasn't going the fantastic direction you thought it might. And so that led you to open a small business, which led you to purchasing this 16,000 square foot building, which we're in right now. Look at this. It's beautiful.

Like he owns the building. As you know, we're looking for places for a studio. Like paying rent is a hassle. You want equity. You don't know what that means. Nope. That's right. I think it means you want to own it.

Let's see. I once interviewed you at a guy's night out for the sole purpose of having you say, boy, these are really bad words here. I'm not even going to say it right now. Yep. That's how bad those words are. But you guys are NSFW now. You could do it.

I could. But as a gentleman, I will just say see you next Tuesday. So you made me say that on a video. I did. Yes. Just so. Yeah. So, yeah.

I mean, God, 10, 15 years ago, trying to make a YouTube live happen. I've had Groobs and TC on my podcast. You have a podcast. Oh, did. As well as Disrupted Dwayne Carraway at City Hall. That's my favorite that nobody knows about. Let's talk about it. Dwayne Carraway did a sagging

summit. So one day I'm driving down the highway and I see a billboard and it goes the Honorable Dwayne Carraway is, this is what it's on the billboard, the Honorable Dwayne Carraway is having this and that for a sagging summit and so I, i gotta disrupt that i've got to figure out what's happening there so we me and my buddy who is supposed to be here today he hasn't shown up yet we went down there to city hall and we checked it out and it was

i basically it was a pep talk for young African-American men, which I didn't realize that's what it was going to be, or maybe I wouldn't have just shown up there looking for trouble. So the idea was how do we get these young men to realize their full potential and their this and that. And so sagging was his thing that he targeted on. But I went there as a sagger. And I was, yeah, in support of sagging and so we watched and

we everybody's talking and they have a panel and this and then they open it up for questions so the whole time i'm coming up with this speech in my head so i get up there and i really nailed it i mean i got up there and i told him how positive sagging is. He brought up the Ying Yang twins and this and that. And I said, well, maybe the Ying Yang twins are more successful than any of us here in this room. And then that got a pop. Like, I got reactions out of the crowd. Everybody was really on board and so much so.

And then, well, I felt bad because he's, I don't know, I'm mixed on Dwayne Carraway now. Now, I think I hit him before the ticket was big on him. And so then I called him the dishonorable Dwayne Carried Away. Oh, shit. I burned him in front of everybody. So then he goes, everybody's like, oh, my God. Do we need to get him out?

Do we need whatever? And he goes, no, in fact, I want him on the panel. So he brings me down. I sat on the panel and I'm answering questions like I'm an authority on anything. And I'm telling people what they need to be doing with their young black children. It was bizarre. But the best thing that came of it was somebody from the Observer at least had hung around and they wrote an article about it. I was hoping I'd get on the news or something,

but I at least had an Observer article written about me. And you felt good about that? That's my claim to fame. Yes, because there's nothing wrong with sagging. No. We can tell people to behave, but it has nothing to do with sagging. Come on. I would agree.

Thank you. I'm a Dez fan, so. Can I read the financial stuff you wrote in here about your business? Woo! Sure. This is all public. In 2017, I started my own company, Paramount Solutions, and set out to succeed in life. Year one, we made $65,000.

And this past year, we made $900,000. Woo! Seven X. I'm a shark tank. We have six employees, have made made over three million in total sales and two years ago we purchased our facility for 2.5 million dollars damn on west commerce and the reason i'm open about these numbers is because in our bank account at the end of the day it's zero you know what we've learned through business is we know you can make all that money but at the end of the day, it's all gone.

Oh, okay. So even if you make, because we haven't got to that point yet. So you're saying eventually, even when we make money, it'll still be at zero. Yeah, for sure. That's what I'm, yeah, I'm trying to figure out what everybody else is doing. And then you said you want to be a part of this possibly in some way, shape, or form.

Could I run a board for you, write for you, like Jackie did for Howard? Howard. I would assist on the business end of things as a real estate, as real estate and sponsors become more and more of a factor

in your world. Yeah. Yeah, that's my thing. I could, you know, I've tried... I think we need to be involved with Jeremiah Garcia. I've tried to do it. Well, that's my thing. I could, you know, I've tried. I think we need to be involved with Jeremiah Garcia. Well, I think so, too, because just, you know, we're moving forward with medium solutions. That's right.

We need paramount solutions. Every day we wake up and we're like, I mean, I guess I'm okay with these medium solutions. And he ended with. Turns out there's something else out there. Insert obligatory praise of the Hotmail platform, which really helped it over the time. All right, he's out.

No, but yeah, that was my point in reaching out. I said, well, I tried to be a creative. And then really my thing was conspiracy. You know, I think people my age, I was big on conspiracies, everything. Blake? Yeah, we discussed this morning. Okay, you've already...

Yeah. I think it's amazing that... Found common ground. Everything that I have... No way we're on the moon. Blake takes from me. Were you a big conspiracy guy? South Park, Blake.

That's kind of what I wanted to say. Conspiracy, CIA, Blake. That's because now you're a buttoned up... The Mavs, Blake. This is an observation that I've had. I feel like Blake has become who we thought Jake was. Like kick-ass, badass, cool. Yes, and you guys finally...

Guy we want more of. You guys finally came over and you were... Then you got more Jake and you're like, ah. No, no, no, no. What if we have more Blake? You were uncensored and you could do anything you wanted and the one pushing the envelope more than anybody was Blake. He's like,

I don't care. Let's talk about this. Let me say this is shameful. Well, when we first got him on the ticket, we were, we handed over the duties for making the show open to him and he's putting in the shit and the F word, and like...

Some slurs? Yeah, he didn't understand. You're not allowed to put certain things on terrestrial radio. And then I just said, I thought this was the ticket. Yeah. And I go, well... And that's who everybody thought Jake was. Then Jake became a producer, and he buttoned himself up.

That's right. He got a contract. Unbelievable. Had two kids. Had two kids. That softened you up. Yeah. That's right. You got a kid. Unbelievable. Had two kids. Had two kids. That's softened up. He's a corporate guy. He's doing sponsorships.

He's wearing a suit today. I know. He's all dressed nice. Yeah, why'd you come in your suit? That's weird. Check out our YouTube page if you want to see Jake in his suit. He's wearing the tuxedo top.

Yeah. Can I pee? He's up at five. Are you break now? Wait, wait. Yeah. Can I pee? He's up at five. Are you break now? Wait, wait, wait. Can I say this? I'm sorry. The one thing I was hoping for today,

didn't even hit me until the day I go, maybe Jake is going to shit in our bathroom. Too late. Yes. Dang. Yes. That's all I wanted. Yeah, it's on that little cam you set up, isn't it?

I left it in there. And that'll be on my YouTube later. Well, Jeremiah Garcia. Oh, one more note of Jeremiah Garcia's that nobody might care about. Nobody cares. That's fine. Related to Julie Garcia, former often called. Radio superstar. Often called... Radio superstar?

Often called the sexiest promotions director the ticket ever had. Why don't I remember her? Was she the one that... That we would say Gribble always wanted to date? Oh. She worked on the Craddock... Were you producer for Craddock?

Assistant. Oh, assistant. His assistant. That's Julie? Yeah. Were you the one that refused to have a company computer? No, no, no, no. Do you remember that?

Yeah, there's one lady who refused to have a company phone. I'm sorry, I'm not saying all Latinos look the same. No, she refused to use her personal phone. She wouldn't give me her cell number. Yeah, she was like, when I'm off, I'm off. Yeah, so she said, I told the company, if they pay for a cell phone for me, I'll let other people have my cell phone. Yeah.

But otherwise you call my work phone and I will get back to you. If it's during work hours. And I was like, yeah, because, you know, we'd be doing a remote or an appearance on a Saturday. Yeah. And I mean, sometimes I need to get a hold of the promotions director. If you're making very little. Julie bought that lie so I can get her digits. I might need to call you. At 2 a.m. on Friday night.

Well, that's cool. Paramount Solutions. What's the website? Give it a go. Paramountinmotion.com. Is it standing still? No. No. No, it's in motion. No, I don't know. I guess some stuff seems to be moving around here.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Jeremiah. Absolutely. I do think this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Wow. Or nothing. Or nothing. And everybody's fine with that.

Have me back for final comments because I have many notes in my phone. We'll bring you in for the news. For you guys. Okay. Or nothing. And everybody's fine with that. Have me back for final comments because I have many notes in my phone. We'll bring them in for the news. For you guys. Okay. All right. All right. Yeah. Closing remarks.

The news. All that kind of stuff. Okay. Hell yeah. Well, thanks, man. Jake has alerted the media about his teeny little bladder. I drink a Diet Coke, which is very unlike me. Oh, all right.

The Dumb Zone. People are asking, why is the fastest growing Apple podcast called The Dumb Zone? Frederick Douglass. Debates. I don't know what that means. Lincoln Douglass? I don't know what that means. Lincoln Douglas?

The only one who's one of the most famous series of debates that have ever occurred? I don't know. Do you know? No. Well, it must not be because of Jake Kemp. After all, he has a master's degree. You've never heard of the Lincoln Douglas debates? Wow, he has a master's degree. You've never heard of the Lincoln-Douglas debates? Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass debated like half a dozen times or something.

And it was like a healing moment for the nation. It's thought of as like one of the high points of discourse. And you know what? Whatever. But it turns out that master's degree is from Texas State University. Wait, I'm 100% wrong. Golly. Were you not going to say anything? What is it?

So what was it? It's Douglas, but it's not. Now, who is the Douglas? Stephen Douglas. Can Jake get out of this hole that he's digging? Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass were, like, very close. This is our lowest. I do know that.

No, it's not. It is. This is the worst moment we've ever had. Yeah, but you thought. I thought they debated. That there are public debates between a white man and a black man in the 1850s. Frederick Douglass was, was like a public intellectual. Listen how this smart guy with his fancy degrees tries to change the argument.

Okay, so I'm just saying, it was not impossible that he could have been involved in a debate. He was friends with Abraham Lincoln. Just like Nixon-Kennedy or Trump versus Hillary, good friends often publicly debate each other. Am I wrong that Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln were friends? Just keep going. Good friends often publicly debate each other. Am I wrong that Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln were friends? Just keep going. You have to read the next birthday. The Dumb Zone. Recorded live to tape. Available wherever

you get your podcasts. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. Hey, Jake. Yeah? No, give me The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. Hey, Jake. Yeah? No, give me The Dumb Zone.

Although you're sounding better. The Dumb Zone. Don't you think he's sounding better? Yeah. That's unfortunate. Yeah. You know, there's a really funny Friends episode where Phoebe's a better singer when she has the flu, so she keeps trying to get sick.

That's what Jake should do. He should just try to get sick every weekend so he sounds badass. I think the boy's going to have to get the tubes in the ears. Yeah, Brooks had to. He did? How long? Like, how long has he had them in? He still has them?

Yeah. Okay. But they were a lifesaver. I mean, he was getting an ear infection every month. Yeah, I think we're going to have to do it. I don't even know what you're saying. I don't even, you know, I don't really know what it is, but he has an ear infection like every two to three months.

Yeah, you need him then. And he just, when that happens, just pours green out of the nose. So what's a tube in the ear? It just helps. So what happens what's a tube in the ear? It just helps. So what happens is fluid gets trapped in the ear and just sits there, and that's how they get infections. And so these tubes basically just helps the fluid get poured out of the ear. Okay. And some nights we can see it.

And you keep it in there? He's walking around with a tube in his ear? They're in there. Is it surgery? Surgically put in there, yeah. Yeah. Is it always like hanging out? No, you don't see it.

Oh. But as his ear develops. It looks like there's one big long tube just going through your head. No, yeah. Like your sideshow bob or something. No, I don't think it's quite like that. But if I remember right, they just fall out. They do.

As the ear develops. Disintegrate and fall out. Okay. But he, yeah. It's been a life. But if I remember right, they just fall out. They do. They kind of like disintegrate and fall out. Okay. But he, yeah, it's been a luxury for him. How about that? Technology, man. Yeah. Highly recommend it. I think we're going to have to do it. Okay.

I'm sure, I mean, just add that to the cost. This kid is piling up a lot of costs for you. No, he's in the hole. Are you keeping a ledger? He's in the hole, big time. For when he turns 21? Yeah, I mean, the second that he was cut out of the tummy, he was 35K in the red.

Yeah, he had cut out of the stomach, head surgery. Yeah. Now this thing. Yeah, big. Plus he breaks stuff all the time. Big debt. Yeah. Although he may have D1 genes.

You just never know. You never know. That's there for you. He's projecting to be a run-and-hit linebacker, I think. Yeah, if those are still around. Yeah. He's got that make-up. He's a maniac.

I'm glad you guys saw it. I know. This weekend, I was over there. Like, painting to him is like a contact sport. Have you seen him with his paint? He's pounding it. Yeah.

But that could be worth a lot someday. He's a bruiser. Okay, now, Blake, earlier we did talk a little Mavs, but then you guys were like,

this is not Mavs. So then, make sure you note it in the epi descript. Tell the AI. That we're doing Mavs now? Well, no. The other one was pretty good because we were talking about Luca's mom,

and I feel like that was the main story of yesterday's game. Okay, so this is Mavs part two. Or that and what's being called, is it being called a finger roll? A 20-foot finger roll? I don't know what else you'd call it. Like he's at the three-point line. The clock is running out. He's got a defender real close to him.

Step back's not there. Takes one step left, takes another step right in front of him, though, and does the Euro 1X, you know, and then flips it underhand, and it goes in and then he's just like the laughing the yeah what am i gonna do yeah i'm luca this is the stuff you get not after the whistle you get it during the game yeah not only not after the whistle um it looks like a pre-game shot yeah it looks like a dick around with your friend shot. Right? But he does that all the time.

And I think he does dick around and make shots like that all the time. Yeah. So I guess if you do it all the time. Including shooting it off the video board before the game and making it. I saw that. Man, I thought the banked three in the first half was incredible. And Folliwell was like, he meant to do that. And Harp's like, yeah.

He didn't just miss the basket that hard. Like, yeah, he took a left-wing step-back bank three because he was bored. Because they were up 25. Yeah, did the same from the elbow. Yeah. Did you hear the Houston radio or TV or radio call on the... Yeah, on the finger roll? Yeah. Yeah, they're same from the elbow. Yeah. Did you hear the Houston radio or TV or radio call on the – Yeah, on the finger roll? Yeah.

Yeah, they're incensed. No. They're mad? No, they're just like – Just like incredulous. Yeah, like what are we supposed to do? Like there was good defense, you know, and he pivoted three times back and forth.

And this is all on the heels of Friday night where, you know, they buried the Kings and like we talked about earlier, he's taunting Vladi. Beat the Kings twice this week. Beat the Kings twice. One time blew him out. One time had a come from behind close win. I don't know what else there is to say.

And he's not 100%. I mean, he's been game time decision for like the last three games in a row. And then he goes out there and puts up you know 40 10 and 9 what do you have 30 at the half 30 and 8 at the half last night and then ended up with i want to say 47 which is kind of what i wrote about last week if you will allow me of course is that uh it's kind of working out perfectly where, you know, if you go back to the game, the first Kings game, like Luka just goes off in the first half, Kyrie does nothing, and then in the second half, Kyrie just takes over. Luka is, you know, he's leading the league in scoring,

so it would make sense. He's leading the league in first half scoring, and Kyrie is like at like eight or nine points a game. In the second half, Kyrie jumps up to like the seventh leading scorer in the league at like 15 or 16. And his percentages all go way, way up. He's shooting like 45% from three in the second half.

Luka's go down a little. He's still the fourth leading scorer in the second half. Luka. But all of his numbers go down a little bit. In the NBA? Oh, okay. Yeah, but Kyrie's jump way up. And it's like, that's how it's supposed to go. Whether it's the first half and the second half, whether it's keeping him fresh for the second half and the final stretch of the season.

You know, this is the freshest I've ever seen him look at the end of the year. Because typically at this point, he looks like he's had his ass kicked. He't practice he can't run he's tired he's beat up and now they have Kyrie and so I was thinking I was thinking this over the weekend they are humming along right now yeah and apparently the stars are also really good they have the most points in the NHL Dan the entire NHL at least they did Sunday or Saturday when I looked. Clearly the Rangers are the defending champion. And the Cowboys,

although certainly we're upset with the ends of their seasons, but they are a very strong team, seemingly guaranteed to make the playoffs again. They've won, what, 12 games a year? Three years in a row. The last three years.

So that's unbelievable. Is this like the best? I don't know. As far as teams, I don't know how you would say this, but, you know, sports city in America right now, just as far as winning percentage, all that kind of stuff, could they theoretically hold all four titles at one time shut up i think the mavs are the least likely uh i would say the cowboys are the least likely okay well i

mean you never know what does happen and yeah yeah that one's way more random and variable but uh but right now i guess the mavs don't seem like seem like the least likely. It's not like they're just playing garbage teams. No, and they also have the 23rd, or I suppose that would be like 7th or 8th, depending on if you want to go top or bottom. They have an easy schedule going in. Let's see. Two games out of 4th right now. So they're very close to hosting a playoff series. They're not going to catch Minnesota at three. But they very easily could catch L.A. at four. You know, it's a different team.

And the other thing that I wanted to point out was it's not just that it's first half, second half, and that they play off each other well. Regardless of what you think about Kyrie and, you know, everything, all the baggage that came with him coming in here, whether it was we just had a different view of him from the outside or he's grown or both, I feel like it's nice to have him because he's extremely chill.

Like, he seems to embody the never too high, never too low. He keeps a keeps a medium like all the young players say that he's very helpful it feels like and i feel like if you're gonna have luca you gotta have another guy it's kind of like me and you to be honest with you like if you're gonna have a psychopath jake is saying he's luca yeah but I mean, being Kyrie's pretty cool too. But it feels like Kyrie is at the perfect point in his career to get Kyrie. Yeah, he's like 32. He's settled down a little bit.

But all that he's seen, he's left LeBron, been with LeBron, did the thing on his own type thing, all that. He's had kind of every opportunity. Yeah. And might be realizing, you know, hey, let me, because what's also frustrating about Kyrie as a, you know, longtime Kyrie follower, it's like when he wants to, he can be this. Yeah, and cynically, maybe when he wanted to was when he wanted $250 million.

Yeah, and cynically, maybe when he wanted to was when he wanted $250 million. But right now he's not playing for a contract. No, yeah, it's carried over. Where's the – he hasn't had the day off because of his sister's, you know, first kiss or something. Just something stupid. Like me, yeah. No, I mean, it's been relatively smooth sailing.

And, again, I think it's cool that all the young players go out of their way to talk about how much they love him. But I do think you need that guy to be your second guy if you have a potentially crazy person as your franchise cornerstone. My buddy was at the game last night who lives in Houston, and he was like, dude, it's so much worse in person. What do you mean? Luka. What, as far as the complaining?

Yeah. Okay, so you don't see all that on TV. Yeah, I mean, they go to commercial, you know? Yeah. So that's his time to go track down a ref. That's always his level. Yeah. He is the Luka.

Yeah. He's very emotional. But Kyrie draws a lot of contact and never complains. Almost never. I mean, you know, every NBA player has their thing. But Kyrie just seems to be like a really good... Right. You would wonder if any of that would rub off on Luka.

And maybe eventually will. I feel like Luka's been better this year. How is he on the tech total? Because last year he was... He's still up there. Because last year he was right up against it, right? Getting suspended? He's not going to get suspended. Okay. Well, there you go.

Now you've advanced. You're not on the bubble. Yeah. I would like to see him rest a game, I think, before playoffs. And I don't know if they can afford to do that, but he's just been battling, what, his heel, his knee. Yeah. Yeah, he was on the injury report yesterday. Yeah. Like I said, battling his heel, his knee. Yeah. He was on the injury report yesterday.

Like I said, three games in a row. One thing is just avoiding the play-in. That's only like two days, but it's still... Are they guaranteed to be out of that now? No. Absolutely not. They're above that threshold, but it's still

really tight. They're two up on Sacramento right now. That's why those two games were so important. And I thought during that run a couple years ago when they made the Western Conference Finals, I mean, what was he off for, a week, week and a half? Because he got injured at the end of the season? I thought that was kind of important for him.

Yeah, that's when we went to the Utah game. Just a brief week and a half to just recover. Yeah. Even if it's a fake thing. Right. Just give them a little time. Yeah. But the problem is they're just, they're right up against it.

So I'm not sure how much margin for error they really have. So you're saying they haven't lost since the porn thing, but they haven't – they're like 11-0 in his last 11 games, right? Yeah, I think that's right. They lost one with him. And the thing is, they're third in offense and tenth in defense since – I think I looked it up for not the first game after the trade, but the second because Gafford didn't play in the first game.

So, like, February 12th, third in offense, tenth in defense, top ten in rebounding, which they were getting absolutely murdered on the glass before that. I mean, honestly, right now, like, between Gafford and Lively, have they ever had a better center combination ever? Gafford and Lively, have they ever had a better center combination ever? I mean, your best bet might be like Tyson Chandler and Brendan Haywood. I was going to say, obviously Tyson Chandler is involved in it.

Okay. Well, I would take Gafford and Lively over Chandler and Haywood. Yeah. Chandler's the best player out of that four, but, you know, all told. And Gafford signed for three years derrick lively's 19 or 20 how are you on jason kidd these days how you feeling you know i was thinking about that a lot this morning like we rip him whenever they're bad but we don't seem to really like uh credit him credit him whenever things are going well so don't know. I feel like he's just kind of there. And if they have good players, then they're okay. If they don't. That's probably not fair.

I don't think he's an added value. I think I looked it up the other day. Like he's not going to win them a series. No. Because of the brilliant things he came up with. No. Because of the brilliant things he came up with? I think it was looking at pick and roll points per possession, and Dallas is number one because of Luka.

But number two is the Pacers. Rick knows how to coach points depending Yeah. Depending on his personnel. No one's ever said he wasn't a great coach. No, he's just a dick. Yeah. Did you say they... What did they do right before the show? Oh, they waived Dwight Powell.

Wow. Horrible. Didn't they just sign him? Yeah. This offseason? Yeah, but it was like a... I mean, it was a cheap deal, but it was like a... I mean, it was a cheap deal, but it was still a multi-year deal.

Right. It was still like a, you're going to be our starting center. I could have this wrong. Did you see it too, Blake? I haven't looked. They didn't waive him? No, I'm pretty sure they did. Okay. That's a big deal. He's kind of like

right up there in all-time game played and stuff, right? For the Mavs. For current Mavs, yeah. Oh, I thought he was even like the top five or ten. He had to be up there. No more Dwight Powell getting hit in the face. Good dude. Great dude.

We just didn't want him to start at center every night. I didn't want him to play basketball. Well, now you might have to. Start or otherwise. Can I give you these dunk numbers really quick? Sure. So this was really quick research, and I can probably get more numbers as we go forward,

but I am now without ballys since I cut the cord. And so for the past handful of Mavs games that haven't been on Channel 8, I've been watching the NBA recaps, which are these 10-minute highlight videos. By the way, this might be like an April Fool's thing. I don't know. Not everything I say is a joke.

No, no, no. I mean Dwight Powell. Oh, you got ball sacked? I mean, it's from like a... I forget that people actually... It's not from Tim McMahon? No, it's from like a... It's one of these Mavs websites that we all follow.

Interesting. It doesn't really matter. I mean, he doesn't play anymore. Okay. Now that you say that, that probably is an April Fool's joke. Yeah, what a knee slapper. What is the end

game there? Only the MFFL. This. That's it? Right here. A guy who doesn't play, you're like, boy, they waved him. Boy, yeah. But what's going to suck is Dwight is going to see everyone say, oh, good. He's played like nine minutes in the last month and a half. Seventh all-time games played for the Mavs.

Ooh, let's have a fun parlor game. Who wants to guess? Top seven. Obviously, Dirk. Games played. You guys want to guess? Roe? Number four.

Was Terry here long enough? I was going to say Terry. Maybe six. He is number five. Wait. One, two, three. Sorry. Dwight Powell is number nine.

Okay. We already blew it Dwight Powell's number nine. Okay. We already blew it. Jason Terry's number seven. Brad Davis. Number two. Michael Finley. He's on there, yeah. Five.

Six, sorry. Give me... There's one you won't get. Mark Aguirre. Not on there. Anybody else? Who? I'm saying two you might not get.

You just told me Brad Davis was two. No, no, no. There's two of them I don't think you'll get. I don't think you'll get number 10, which is Sean Bradley. Okay. Oddly enough. Okay. Dirk, Brad Davis.

A player. As a player. Didn't we say Harper already? You never said Derek Harper. Oh, okay. As a player, Derek Harper had the third most games played as a player. In this league? Rolando Blackman.

Barea. Ooh, interesting. Two stints. Is actually five. Finley is six. Jason Terry is seven. And I'm saying you will never get eight. Well, maybe you will if I give you a hint.

Like, he actually had two stints here. And Devin Harris? You would not want him as a radio interview. Devin Harris. Okay, yeah. While he's at the zoo

with his kids. No, he makes swingers references. He's cool. I thought it was a good pitch. Okay, so to go back a little bit. Dwight Powell's still employed. Anyway, yeah, Dwight Powell is probably still a Maverick. Oh, man.

And so in these 10-minute recaps, I just noticed that the Mavs have been dunking a lot, largely due to Gafford coming over in the trade deadline. And because they space Gafford and Lively so well to where one of them is typically on the court and both of them, all their buckets are dunks. So I wanted to look up, since Luka's rookie year, how the Mavs have ranked in dunks per season.

Because, I mean, Luka is really good in the pick and roll, right? If he's had a lob man, they're able to score. And even, who's the Slovenian? Toby? Who we watched in the Olympics, like, catch every lob? He's actually not Slovenian. You're allowed to have one American player on international teams. Mike Toby.

Mike Toby. But even in the Olympic Games. Yeah, he's just throwing lobs to this no-name, and we're like, why can't we have that? Well, now that we do, going back to Luca's rookie year, the Mavs were 11th, 16th, 22nd, 17th, 27th in dunks per season out of 30 teams. And now?

This year, they're number seven, but since the trade deadline, they're number one by a mile. Yeah. And going back to the last couple years, 4're number one by a mile. Yeah. And going back to the last couple years, 4.4 dunks, 3.7. This year, they're 5.5. Since the deadline, eight dunks per game, which would be two dunks more than the Lakers who have the most dunks in the NBA right now. Yeah.

They've traded shooting for uh for dunks and i feel like that those are high percentage shots but yeah that's a great point dan yeah typically you make those we go back to two years ago uh when the mavs made their conference finals run they were 17th in the league in dunking um but they were just they lived and died by the three if they shot the three well they won if they didn't they lost and now we've seen. If they shot the three well, they won. If they didn't, they lost. And now we've seen games where they've shot under, was it 30% from three and they still win? Yeah.

And this is a large reason why. I think like seven or eight games since the deadline, they shot below the league average, which is 37% and won. And that has never happened in his career here. They won games by shooting lights out for three. I would say it hasn't happened in the Mavs' history. Yeah, and we could go back even to the Dirk days.

Yeah. But you would think a guy that good in the pick and roll and who draws that much attention, you'd imagine the hit the dunks would be higher, but finally, now with Gafford and Lively, they are. Well, a lot of times what they did before is they would pop when the defender sagged. Yeah.

And now they're just like, throw it up. Man, they've got that thing down where, it's kind of hard to explain visually, but it's the Luka gives it up, they give it back to him as he's headed to the lane and then he throws it up. Oh yeah,

the give and go? They did it Friday night, they did to the lane, and then he throws it up. Oh, yeah. The give and go? They did it Friday night. They did it last night. And it's just, it happens so fast. No, but the give and go and the give. That's what you're saying. Give, go, give. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, Lively or Gafford's in the dunker spot, like, climbing down the baseline. And he just, like, passes it. They pass it back, and he's already moving. And it's just, like, you can't stop that. That Sacramento one was really cool. Pure sex. And he sees everything.

Yeah. It's awesome. I don't know. I mean, I feel as good about him as I have in a long time. So it's going to be fun. I'm going to take you to a game too, little buddy. Okay. Our annual tradition.

Okay. Let's do it. I'm going to pay with it with these people's money. Sorry about that. I'm sorry. Thanks, Jeremiah. Thanks, Jeremiah. Sorry about that.

I'm sorry. Thanks, Jeremiah. Are we up for... Are we on to the next thing? Yeah. Because the next thing is... Yeah, do you want to do it? Yeah. That's what you're trying to say.

You're trying to say, let's get down to business. It's business time. It's business time. Who pulled this? It's business time. Were you not here when we played this? Were you not here when we played this? No.

I'm a Flight of the Conchords fan, though. Yeah, we played it. Not with me. Oh. You think? I think probably, but I'm not sure. I know you weren't here only a couple days, right? I thought it was just one.

Okay. Well, then we've definitely played it. Okay. We're getting lost in the weeds here. We are, yes. Let's do an MBR. Which is a monthly business review. Business review.

So we are reviewing. So now you're not reviewing April, right? No. Although, what would you say so far? Glowing success. Yeah. I would agree. Did a remote. Yep.

I mean, yeah. Paramount Solutions. It a remote. Yep. I mean, yeah. Paramount Solutions. It was great. Their solution's at the top. Right, yes. Right. Yes. So...

Which is not the final. I mean, you could go elsewhere, too. Stop. I just want to make sure that you guys understand that that was a total... All right. All right. Okay, so just to kind of reset this a little bit.

It's just the best. Doesn't have to be the last one, but probably as the best. Yes, go ahead. So I keep some notes on the show, and over time I've developed some patterns for you guys. And so let's check in on your month of March. Now, Dan was out for six shows. Jake's dream. But we still had a really good month

and so let's start with what we call bad bits. We have two bad bits and the first one is Ted Cruz inviting people to his bracket pool for a chance to win a pickup basketball game with Ted Cruz. Yeah. Only because it'll be a bad bit playing basketball with Ted Cruz.

Although I'd like to see it. Like if it was you, I would pay lots of money. Yeah. Or I guess Blake, anybody. But is he going to be wearing a suit? No. Can you picture Ted Cruz

in shorts and the long socks? I mean, I've seen him when he was coming back from Cancun. He had that Texas button-up on. I think I said at the time, I thought it would be really funny if some five- yeah like kid from wherever or something just yammered him who's this like put his nuts in his face at the rim

who's the nc state kid yeah the big boy yeah just trucks him it was like ted cruz the other bad bit suck it tim kirchen doing a baseball podcast with his son yeah Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. That's tough. I mean, I'm, you know, I brought you guys the fart song, but I was hesitant about that. Although you have said if I did a podcast with my kids,

it'd be fun. Yeah, that would be... Or at least let them do one. Yeah, I would listen to a podcast with your kids because they're mean. Yeah. Yeah, I would listen to a podcast with your kids because they're mean. Yeah, they would cook. I want Ted Kirchhen, Tim Kirchhen. Tim Kirchhen, who apparently is a great basketball player.

Oh, that's right. That's right. Jared gave us that. Yeah, that's right. No good bits from the month. So moving on to things Dan or Jake want. I don't know if you meant this on the 1st of March, but this says Jake wants a vasectomy.

Yeah, 100%. Oh, okay. Go back to our conversation about this maniac just destroying his house. Oh, that's why. And costing him money. Yeah. I do not want to have another child.

Okay. Love the two I have. Yep, they're great. Kind of. Whereas I do. Most of the the two I have. Yep. They're great. Kind of. Whereas I do. Most of the time. With my next wife. My next younger.

I could see Dan. Quieter wife. Having a kid late in life. Yeah, because you love Dan. Quieter. Yeah, you know. March 7th. Dan wants a generator, but only for the day.

The wife who knows her place is what I mean. Yeah. What do I want again? A generator. The gallery who knows her place is what I mean. Yeah. What do I want again? A generator. The gallery loved that one. Boo. A generator, but just for the den. So when your house loses power, the den keeps power.

How about this? The wife who knows her place, which is the paramount part of the, she's at the top of the hierarchy because she will make the most money in the household. That's the wife I want. It's pretty sweet. So I need a wife who's making six figgies. You just got to keep your mouth shut.

And yes, let's do a, right. There you see, we can all, and I'll lay off you. I mean, you, my wife. Yeah. Generator for the den only. See, I think that is a... But not tell the family. Yeah, but they're going to figure it out.

Yeah. And that's the thing is... Oh, I see over there again. What's that sound I hear outside? Yeah, she's playing electric guitar. They're going to figure it out. Door's locked. Yeah, yeah.

They're all going to come up there. What, you need me to help stoke that fire? It's going to be worse than you think it is. Yeah, then they'll all be up there. Oh, that would be terrible. The 4th of March, Jake wants to be on the combine bus with Jerry. But you need it. What if we went out of power?

He's not even paying attention. Well, but I mean, say if we go out of power, we're doing a cowboy stream. What needs power? The den. However you justify it, man. Thank you. What was it? Jake wants to be on the justify it, man. Thank you. Sorry. What was it?

Jake wants to be on the combine bus with Jerry. I would like that. We got you that opening day bus. Yeah. That was cool. Yeah, no, but... I think he wants to share a cocktail with Jerry talking about the draft.

John Machoda. Yeah. That's really what it is. Clarence Hill. He just want to be in the scrum. Yeah. I thought this was funny. Machoda also a wet J. Yeah. Yeah, he's good what it is. Clarence Hill. You just want to be in the scrum. Yeah. I thought this was funny. Machota, also a wet J.

Yeah. Yeah, he's good. I miss ticket basketball so much. Me too. March 28th. Dan always wanted a workbench growing up. Yeah, that was really weird. I thought I told you guys that before.

Yeah, I think that was the first time that you put it on record. I wanted a fireplace, a workbench. I want stuff. Very easy... What a broke boy. I wanted a fireplace. We always had a workbench in our basement. I always wanted one and now I have one. I wanted a basement. Oh, basements are great. Yeah, it doesn't happen here. No.

Yeah, I just thought that was just very low rent. Just a workbench. Yeah. Yeah. I got one. I got a vice. Your dream's coming true. Yeah. What about saw horses?

You ever deal with those? No. It's like those things that are like this and like this. It's like a triangle and you put a slat on it and you can...

No? Nobody? No, I think I know what you're talking about. But I just never really... That was the closest I ever had to a workbench. And you guys don't have a workbench in your garage, huh? No. I think I know what you're talking about. But I just never really want to. That was the closest I ever had to a workbench. And you guys don't have a workbench in your garage, huh?

No. I don't know what I would do with one. Work? I don't work. It's good to store stuff, I've found. Hang clothes. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Our time capsule. These are things that you said that I need to check up on. I thought this was good. Jake thinks Luka will unfollow the Mavericks his free agency year. That's going to happen. Where Luka's up for a contract, and we find out Luka unfollowed the Mavs on Instagram.

Boy, that would be – you would probably be devastated if that happens. I'm already prepared for it. Yeah, still. But we also know – Now, if he leaves, I will follow him. Okay. I will no longer be a Mavs fan. Yeah, still. But we also know if he leaves, I will follow him. Okay. I will no longer be a Mavs fan. Like will you actually move physically?

Possibly. Sorry, kids. I know you wanted to grow up and stay in the same school system. Possibly. Probably can't afford wherever he ends up going. Miami. Yeah, that's true. Miami or L.A.

This was a funny one, and I don't know if you were serious or not, Jake, but on the 26th of March, Jake doesn't think Happy Gilmore 2 will happen. Still don't. And then he doubles down on March 29th and apparently again on April 1st. Yeah, still don't. It's not happening. Because you said I got ball sacked by looking at Twitter. You did.

Talking about it. I don't know. Like I said, give me a date and make a bet. Jury's still out. Okay. So, Shooter McGavin on the Ken Carman show

that didn't sell it for you? That doesn't, I don't feel like that's necessarily entertainment tonight. And then one more, March 4th, Jake thinks there will be a lot of crime

during the eclipse. Am I wrong? One week away. Everyone in the crowd right now is like thinking either about doing crimes or protecting themselves from crime. Although, have you seen the latest weather report? Yeah, no, it was in the news. I haven't seen anything.

Is it? It might be really sunny. Okay, is that a tease? That's what we wanted, right? Overcast? I don't said anything. Is it? It might be really sunny. Okay, is that a tease? That's what we wanted, right? Overcast? I don't want overcast. I know I want chaos for life. You know how sad people would be and how funny it would be?

I know, but I want to see an eclipse. Think of all the new- I live in the path of totality. Who cares? I finally, all my life, I've been reading about eclipses and oh, no, no, you'll see part of it. Yeah. You wanted a workbench and you wanted to see an eclipse?

Okay, yeah, put that on there. I want to see an eclipse. I want to be in the path of totality. We were in one a couple years ago. You didn't even know what that meant three weeks ago. No, and now I do, and I'm into it. Come on. You know how funny it would be to see all these news outlets,

well, overcast skies really damper the eclipse, and then what are they going to do? You're going to be out of town, so you don't care. You just want to see me sad. They've planned their entire April 8th around this stupid thing in the sky, and when they can't do it, they're going to panic, and they're not going to know what to do. And they're going to do crime. You know what I want? I want that 105-year-old

guy to see his last eclipse. You don't care about him. You want to deny that guy his excitement. Yeah, because he's seen eight of them. And I've seen zero. He's seen 12. And guess what? You'll see another one.

I don't think so. Okay, I'm going to put it on the time capsule. Blake thinks that there will be another eclipse. There will be a path of totality over Dallas, Texas again for 1,600 years. I've been in Columbus, Texas again for 1,600 years. There's a lot of nodding in agreement here. Yeah, yeah. No.

All right. Kim spins. Oh. You're up to 486. Hit me. Oh, we got to get to 500, huh? Boy, we're going to have a big day then. I hope so.

A couple of these are repeats, including Sandra Bullock and Adrian Peterson, but there's a couple new ones on here, including Wolf Blitzer. Yeah, during Katrina, it was a very horrific scene, and he was narrating the footage, and he opted for the very unfortunate phrasing of, look these people they are so poor and so black and it was like well it's really not something

that needed to be said like at all like these people were dying and that's what he went with. It was horrible. This one's so black. When put on his feet, that's what he went with. This one came as a shock because, you know, if we had like a Griffey and Bonds list for Kemp Spins, I would not put Steph Curry on the Kemp Spins list. But he's got a pretty good one. What is it?

I think it was about a year two years ago they were looking to build some subsidized like affordable housing in the bay area okay uh near him and his wife's uh mansion and either she or both of them went before city council and argued against it like they didn't want you know middle class or lower class people living near them. And they actually got it blocked. So, America's sweetheart, Steph Curry. He doesn't get many blocks. Kind of a dick. No, and he cries in games when his buddy gets ejected.

That's a sports joke. Thank you. That was pretty good. Yeah. I want you to think that was good. But, yeah, he's kind of a dick. Liam Neeson? Oh, I mean, there's many.

There's many. Do we want to play that audio? We could, I guess. I got it queued up and ready to go if you want it. What's that? He was in a hotel in California, I guess. I think it was overseas, but maybe. I mean, Liam Neeson is a racist.

Yeah. He's a sexist. He's a misogynist. And, you know, we could go any number of directions with this. But this one was... Fantastic actor, though. Let's give him that. He's really good at playing movies where he has to try to find somebody.

All right, let's see if I got this. It seems like that's... I was in a hotel on the 19th floor in the morning and the building shook. I'd been in an earthquake before in LA. For some reason it was different. I got under a doorway because they all say, get under a doorway. And as I was standing there in the room shaking, I thought, this is crazy. So I got my passport, went out into the hallway.

And the hallway was going like this. I'm not exaggerating. And there was a little lady dressed in black. It was the manageress of that floor. She was knocking on the doors with her clipboard, checking the rooms had been cleaned to the right, perfection, all the rest of it. She turned and saw me like this up against the door.

And she said, Ah, no problem, no problem door and she said ah no problem no problem i'd be here 20 years no problem that was it but just an unbelievable left turn in that interview just an unbelievable left turn have you seen the video oh yeah he does it have you seen the video? Oh, yeah. He does it. Have you seen the video, Dan? No, he's not like holding his fingers out his eyes. Yes, he is. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, pretty much. Next thing you know, he'll be hosting Saturday Night Live. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So this is a Shane Gillis joke. Got under a doorway, though. I never heard that, but now that makes sense. You went under the doorframe? Yeah, I mean, it'll probably be the last thing that... Yeah, that's okay.

That's what you took from that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's learning. I'm just logically taking the best part of it. Sure. So 14 more Kim Spins until you're at 500. Let's go. That is crazy.

Okay, notes from the show. On March 1st, Jake says he's trying to switch to tea over five-hour energy. How are you doing? Not well. How many days did you do that? Like two. And you know what? Actually, what happened is I just did both.

Not good. What do you mean? It's too much? Well, actually, our good friend P1 Nick sent me some stories about it's not the caffeine, but 5-Hour Energy has a ton of niacin

and B12 in it, like way, way above the daily recommended value. So he was like, hey, I'm trying to... I follow P1 Nick's lead. Is tea healthier? Oh, he's saying you should do – or you should not do. He's trying to get off of it as well. Oh, okay.

Yeah. But how are you getting – okay, so that's where you're getting the energy. It's not just a caffeine. It's not Jolt Cola. No. Okay. That's what I was under the impression that those five RNGs were. Everyone always like says it's the caffeine.

It's not the caffeine. The caffeine's about the same as a cup of black coffee. But there's a bunch of other junk in there, and I'm trying. But this has not been the month for that. Yeah. It's never the month, you know? I know, right? Diet starts Monday.

I've been trying to change from my regular protein cereal that I eat, like Cassie Go or whatever it is. Yeah, I've seen that. I'm trying to switch to just oats every day, which just takes like, I don't know, 10 minutes. Man, I will tell you. And so that's why I don't usually don't do it. That stuff Jameson sent us is fire.

Well, yeah. His mom or grandma or somebody. They make granola. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I eat that. But I mean like the Quaker Oats oats, just regular oats. Right, right, his mom or grandma or somebody. They make granola. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. But I mean like the Quaker Oats oats, just regular oats. Yeah, I can't do that. Throw some blueberries in.

I made it this morning. I can't do that. But I'm just trying to get off of processed foods. Good luck. Yeah, good luck. Yeah, I'd like to just live on a commune with me and my hippie friends. I'm sure they'd love you. And a lot of technology.

The same day, March 1st. Oh, we're still just on March 1st. I'll escalate it. And whenever you're done, we can... That's probably our fault. We can be done. I'm done. Okay.

News? No, go ahead. Dan's sex ed teacher once told the class that one of his testicles hung lower than the other. Yeah, Mr. Vinsel. And that kind of scarred you. Yeah, no, I can picture him right now, and I'm just imagining what that big, long thing looks like. Because he was a pretty tall guy as well.

Yeah. And not lanky. He was just kind of tall and dumpy. The fact that they have, like,-old eighth-grade JV basketball coaches teach us about the reproductive organs is one of the most insane things about the American education system. Right. They leave it to the least qualified person to do it.

Yeah, this afternoon we're talking about doing the three-man weave and how to hit an outlet pass. And then in the morning you're like, well, they have periods. What's that? I'm like, same guy? Like blood and stuff? That seems weird. March 5th, Dan's drug dealer failed his drug test

because he took cocaine the night before his interview with the city. Yeah, he wanted one of them city jobs. Yeah, can't do that. He was so fired up about it. But, man, then the opportunity presented itself the night before. What are you going to do? That's a tough call. You can't do that He was so fired up about it But man, then the opportunity presented itself the night before What are you going to do? That's a tough call You can't say no

March 7th, Jake doesn't eat bananas No Not at all Why? I'm not a fan of mushy foods Okay And they're I mean, fruit is good for you but they're not like the best fruit to eat you know oh that's right george jean once called them uh nature's snicker

bar okay for real i've also heard though you know they got other good stuff in potassium yeah sure but i i don't like squishy foods at all okay gross. Gross. Noted. Same day, Dan watched. Why is that noted? Like, was he going to prevent me from a buffet of food? You know what he's taken to doing? Did he do this for you, Jeremiah? He said he's putting together like a rider for our show. Yeah.

So he'll tell them our likes and dislikes. And so now I'll add no bananas for Jake. No squishy food. No squishy food. No squishy foods. Yeah. Right. So he'll say, if you're going to get pizza, can you throw in some cheese for the little baby over here? I did put on there Dan Pescatarian.

Yeah. Yeah. There you go. So yeah, if it's a barbecue place, maybe they'll throw me a little piece of salmon. Sure. But how about that? We have a rider, Jake. Yeah.

Isn't that sweet? Yeah, it's great. It's really great. Doesn't care at all. But you're not going to get any squishy food? I hope not. Dan watched American Murder and we never talked about it. Oh, that's right. And the problem is now I forgot everything about it.

So if we want to talk about it ever, I have to watch it again. Yeah, probably sit here. I did take notes. Okay. The same day Dan got a mushroom sandwich with only three mushrooms on it. Oh my God.

The saddest sandwich I've ever seen in my life. It was just two pieces of bread three half mushrooms. I will never forget that day. Yeah. I will never forget the Arlington pot belly. It was a really bad scene. It was funny.

I felt bad for you in the moment. Because they thought, I didn't mean to, but they ended up ordering just the mushroom sandwich with no toppings at all. No cheese, no tomato, no lettuce. That's all that stuff that I want. And so the guy at the Arlington Potbelly decided, oh, he just wants mushrooms. that I want. And so the guy at the Arlington Potbelly decided,

oh, he just wants mushrooms? What if I put on even less than I usually put on the mushroom sandwich? Like, literally, three mushrooms per half sandwich. That was bad. But I did stack them

all on one half. Yeah, it was very funny. March 19th, Joe outed Cordell Stewart. Okay, I wasn't there for that, but I've heard a lot about the Joe episodes. Yeah. And I didn't, you know what?

I got to do that. Listen? Yeah, I listened to the Monday episode. I wasn't there, but I didn't listen to the Joe episode. It was electric. That's what I hear. March 21st, Jake did a Wanabango tour.

How do you say that? Did I say it right? Wanabango? Wanabango? Yeah. Yeah, I didn't really do that. Anyway, and saw a 70-year-old guy fall out. Yeah.

He was on like a bus, but I did see like an older gentleman. Noon, 1 o'clock. Was Joe over for Easter? No, no, no. This way. No, it was in Napa where your buddy is. Okay. in Napa where your buddy is. I saw a guy polo, khaki shorts,

gray hair. Wasted. They opened the door to the bus to go into this winery and he just fell out. Face planted. If you're really into wine, it's just that you're kind of too old to be chugging beer all the time, right?

I do think some people actually, like, have the feel for it, you know? Like, they actually do like—I mean, there are rich people who have, like, tons of bottles of wine, and they don't drink them. Yeah. I think it's like a watch or a—right? Like, isn't that—people just collect, you know? But this guy was fucked up. Okay.

Big time. March 22nd, Haralabob let it out that Rick Carlisle hammers Mountain Dew. Yeah, I think he said four a day. That's insane. Yeah. The same day, Dan reminds us of the day he bailed on a Mother's Day dinner with his then-girlfriend, now-wife's family, and instead went to go see Twister High.

Yeah. The original Twister. Yeah. It was a great moment. Respect. Cool movie. March 22nd, Dan tried to emulate Jake by going number two in as many places as he could in France. I don't think I tried, but it just so happened

that the digestive system doesn't change as easy as your sleeping system, I guess. So now all of a sudden I'm in the Louvre and Captain Doodoo taps me on the shoulder and you got to go in there now. You know, it's not like. Sure. Yeah. But it's touching that he thinks of you. Thank you.

Yeah, no, I appreciate that. No, I put it in my notes. This is an homage to Jake. March 25th, Jake's top five Aggie names. Kyle, Brian, Drew, Ben, and Cody. Spot the lie. Who says I'm wrong? I feel like that's right on.

That's pretty solid. And dribble. March 26th, Dan used to pee on the rocks in his dad's gym sauna. I thought about that. I went every day last week, and I thought about, like, Dan used to pee on the rocks in his dad's gym sauna. I thought about that. I went every day last week, and I thought about, like, what if somebody pissed on this right now? You would smell it across the whole building. I know.

I bet. And somehow my dad never blamed me. What an idiot. He knew. Would your friend, like, just be a lookout while you were doing it? No, we were both in there doing it. No one looking out. You were sword fighting over the sauna rocks? Oh, yeah. I haven't been in there in a while. We were doing it? No, we were both in there doing it. No one looking out. We were sword fighting over the sauna rocks.

Oh, yeah. I haven't been in there in a while. We were really young, man. It was like eight, seven. Dude, what is worse than the people who start up a conversation in there? Oh, my God. Really? Oh, yeah.

Not with me, but like two guys just started talking and it didn't stop. They weren't friends? No. Somebody, I think the first guy asked the other guy about his shoes and then from there it just went.

And there was like eight of us in there. Jeez. Like pretty tight space, you know, and I was like, all right, I'm going to get to 20 minutes,

I'm going to get to 30 minutes. Couldn't do it. I feel like I left. Yeah. That's funny. Couldn't handle it. They were more uncomfortable than the 125 degree heat.

So when you talk about getting a massage, I'm never like, you know what, I want to go get one, even though I did. Yeah. But every time you mention a sauna, I wish I had a sauna. Dude, it's awesome. It makes me feel so good. And it's at the Grapevine Rec. It's not like I go to some special place.

But, yeah, they just started talking, started talking and i was like i gotta get out of here like i love the heat you love the cold bath or whatever i like okay yeah i like both and then same day jake got unblocked on twitter by jesse holly hey that was a big one my guy all right a few jake has a buddies i'll just uh there's no way there's any more. This is a big month. Starting with the 1st of March, Jake had a buddy whose parents Jake found nude pictures of. Yeah. We mentioned that. Yeah.

March 4th, Jake had a buddy who worked off 635 in the tollway and hated his job. Yeah, I mean, I think everyone who works there does. And you ended up watching Office Space and loving that scene where they're driving on the tollway. I know. There it is, 635. Yeah, I can see it. There's the Ryan building.

I apologize about what I'm about to read, but I'm just going to read what's written down here. Well, you wrote it. Jake has a buddy who made him watch him have sex with his girlfriend because she was a squirter.

Jake has a buddy who made him watch him have sex with his girlfriend because she was a squirter. It did happen. It wasn't his girlfriend. Oh. March 5th, Jake had a buddy who was wearing... I can't believe you just did that. What? You mean because we're in public?

Yeah. Jeremiah said he liked me because I pushed the envelope. I had to. You burned the envelope. That was a Paramount joke there. Yeah. That was. A Paramount something.

March 5th, Jake had a buddy who was wearing Jordans to buy drugs and had to leave him there with the dealer. That did happen. He said, step up out of those, and we had to leave his shoes there. Jake has a buddy who is a talented skier but separated his shoulder skiing. That's not that interesting at all. Not at all. But you said it so I wrote it down.

Jake has a buddy who got caught in a grade altering scandal and then again Jake has a buddy who had a Kevin Federline poster which was then cross-referenced with Jake has a buddy who has a Kevin Federline poster up in his studio which was also cross-referenced with Jake has A Buddy, who has a Kevin Federline poster up in his studio, which was also cross-referenced with Jake Has A Buddy, who has the Kevin Federline album and has the album picture as a poster.

You've talked about that guy a lot. Dan knows him. Binion. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's been in the den. Yeah. He's been on the stream.

We had a Words With Dan, if you'd like to hear it. Sure. Yeah, he's been on the stream. We had a Words with Dan, if you'd like to hear it. Sure. Yeah, so, but basically it's a thermometer, though, that you could put under the dog's arm. Arm? Leg. I guess the front is the leg.

They're all legs, right? They don't have any arms, but if they had an arm, it would be the arm. The leg pit. What do you call it? We call them armpits. Why not? We don't have a leg pit.

Okay. But yeah, you put it under there and you could take the temperature, which seems a lot less intrusive than the bottom. Armpit. Yeah, I still think for a dog, though, there's a leg. I still think that's up in the air. You got four legs. What would you guys say? Your dog has four legs. No one says your dog has two arms.

Is it an armpit? Yeah. What is it then? What is the part under this dog's leg you're going to take his temperature? The joint? You'd say the joint? Nobody would say that. Put the thermometer near his joint?

You would say armpit even though you don't say arm. I stand with Dan. I just, I love that. Yeah, no, the butt is pretty clear. Yeah, that one we all know. I love the panic, the leg. No, the arm. No, the leg pit.

What would you call it? It is the leg pit. And would you call it? It is the leg pit. And then let's end with this. Let's end the MBR with two funny audio clips. Hey, can you reset what this bit is? I don't know, man. Old habits die hard, right? I'm just kidding.

202. This was funny. We played this a couple days ago. Hundreds of billions of dollars came pouring into NATO, and I said it just the other day because they've been very lax. We spent $150, maybe $200 because now they want to give them $60 billion more. $60 billion with a B. They want to give them $60 billion more.

And I said, wait a minute, do it this way. Loan them the money. If they can make it, they pay us back. If they can't make it, they don't have to pay us back. Loan them the money. If they can make it, they pay us back. If they can't make it, they don't have to pay us back. Loan them the money. Put it as a form of loan. Why should you just hand it over to them? Do it as a form of a loan.

I do that with athletes. They can't quite, you know, like a professional golfer who I think is very good. They don't have any money, but they have a lot of talent. I'll say, here's the deal. I did it with a number of people. Here's the deal. What I want to do, professional golfer. I'll say, here's the deal. I did it with a number of people. Here's the deal, what I want to do. Professional golfer, I play golf. I play very nice.

Did you see the picture of me, the horrible picture with the stomach out to here? So what I do is I'm putting up today a picture of me actually, what I actually look like hitting a ball, smashing the freaking ball. And you'll see quite, I wouldn't say slim,

I wouldn't say slim, but not bad. But the ball does go far. I would say it goes about nine times further than Biden can hit it. Nine times. It goes far. It goes far.

It goes far. Like I said that day, that's how my kids talk. So stream of consciousness. Ball go far. But he was talking about NATO. NATO, yeah. Treaties and budgets. To loaning money. Ball go far.

Loaning money. I loan money to golfers. Golfers, there was a picture of me looking fat golfing. Actually, I don't look that fat. In fact, when I do golf and then I hit it really far, I hit it so far, it's farther than Biden. About nine times. Professional golfer.

They play golf. They play golf. Yeah, you know, I've helped out. What a fucking moron. You know, just a number of them he's the best alright and then last one this was from earlier in the month this

courtesy of Rick Mitchell it gives the girls a life it gives them somewhere where they can be free and be themselves without being limited it also gives them a place to belong in Benbrook Alley Spill Yurts, NBC5. And as far as its founders know, AIDA is the only team of its kind for girls

in wheelchairs. And they say they hope one day to expand to other cities. You can learn more about the program on our website, NBCDFW.com. Thankful to Allie for that wonderful story. It was a good story. It was. You know, Brittany, when I first got into TV 100 years ago, not really, but 30 years ago, I worked with a meteorologist who was in a wheelchair. And there was nothing she could not do. That's odd.

Except walk. But she drove. She got up. She was in front of the green screen. Of course, she was in her. That's odd. Except walk, but she drove. She got up. She worked in front of the green screen. Of course, she was in her chair. Wonderful woman. Hey, blue pads. That one thing.

That was one pretty important thing. But outside of that. But I think, you know, just saying that she was in a wheelchair probably should have just covered that. Nothing she couldn't do. I mean, besides walk. They're just covered that. Yeah. Nothing she couldn't do. I mean, besides walk. Yeah. They're just like us.

There was your march. Yay, Blake. Business time. Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News. Are we ready for news time? Dallas police are looking for Richland rebel slash royal and Kansas City Chiefs whiteout Rasheed Rice in connection to a multi-vehicle accident.

This happened Saturday night about 6.30. Dash cam footage has been released. Yeah, did you see it? I did. They said they ran away. I didn't really see a guy run away. It looked to me like they stopped because their car was not drivable, right? Like there's a Lamborghini, there's a Corvette.

It looks like they tried to do the bit, which this doesn't happen in Tarrant County where we take things slow. They're trying to thread the needle between the middle and the right lane. Like, basically like the lane divider. They're just like punching it right there. Yeah. No room for error. They make a slight mistake and they spun out and hit the right side wall of 635.

It didn't look to me like right side wall of 635. It didn't look to me like they – It was 635? No, it was 75. 75, excuse me. My bad. Oh, okay. I thought it was a towway. Yeah.

So wait. Swerved onto the shoulder. Did you say they've confirmed it was Rasheed Rice? Ritzel and Rebel? Yeah. I mean, I don't know why else they would – It's in his name. Right.

One of the vehicles is registered in his name. Because it could have been somebody else driving, but that doesn't seem likely, huh? The police say that the Lamborghini and the Corvette were street racing, which, honestly, you don't see a lot at 630. Yeah, that was my, the sun's up. Yeah. Now, on Sunday, I will tell you, as I've told you guys before, when I used to do the Shake Joint Sunday mornings,

driving home on 30, because 30 is like a straight shot through Grand Prairie, Arlington, into Fort Worth, that is racing central on Sunday afternoon. Mostly motorcycles. Yeah, I thought of you yesterday, because on the way home from Fort Worth, we took 30 home, and there were so many motorcycles, including Mr. Wheelie. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. But the police do say that they left the scene before they arrived so while that's not present on the video that you and I have seen they did bail. Slept their cars there. Yeah. Probably a good move. I mean if you

want to. You're probably screwed either way. If you want to fall guy it. Yeah and I mean it's not like they can get a if you

were intoxicated it's not like they can prove it now. Right. And who can get away faster than Rasheed Rice. That's a good

point. That's a good point. Yeah man I just I'm so glad I was not born with that gene. It's tough. It's tough to have it. It is true. I was in the car with Dan this weekend at one point.

He will run lights, and if you need to get somewhere— Well, we had a situation. It's true, but in general, if you need to get somewhere we had we had a situation it's true but in general if you need to get somewhere quickly i don't in general run red lights no but but if you need to if you need to get somewhere quickly that's the guy to do it yeah you need me on that wall i put on my blinker when i'm turning into my driveway i hate that you're telling the truth and my wife is like why like we're stopped. There's no other driveway.

You are a very scared driver. They're death machines. Will you still not go on the tollway? Only if I'm feeling a little frisky. In general, I am not a fan of the tollway. That is correct. Because it's so tight and everyone's hauling ass? Yeah.

Don't like it. This is an interesting development. This happened down in Leander. Anybody? Mm-mm. Near Austin. You got a mascot? Nope.

So the thing about having The Lions. Ring doorbell cameras is if something happens to your house, you can just kind of watch it if you're out of town. This guy's house exploded. It was a battery for his cordless vacuum.

Very good, Dan. Was it? Leander Lyons. That's a great, I mean, that's an easy one, but that's a great guess. I'll give you that. Yeah, thank you. Not everyone goes with the alliteration as they should. guess. I'll give you that. Yeah, thank you.

Not everyone goes with the alliteration as they should. Yeah. So yeah, this guy, his kids were at home. I'm really excited about that. And a battery that had been plugged into the wall charging a cordless vacuum exploded. So he fires up the ring camera. He's getting his kids outside and he can actually just like watch the inside

of his house burn down. Do you have the ring? No. Do you have anything? You do. Yeah, you know I have video cameras. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's true.

Pizza guy's coming. Faying. No, I got rid of it. You did? Yeah. Why? It was too annoying. Like anytime a car drove by, it would go off.

You know, you can turn that off. I know. I tried to mess with the sensitivity, but I couldn't. No, you can turn the notification off. But then what's the point? Well, then just you can see it if you have to. Yeah. And then I think you had to pay for the rewind or something.

I didn't want to do that. You said a cordless vacuum? Yeah. That's whyless vacuum? Yeah. That's why it exploded? Yeah. Battery. There's all sorts of stuff in your house that can blow your house up. We just don't think about it.

What was wire wheels? Wasn't it electrical? The lamp? In some way. Oh, the Christmas tree? Christmas tree. That's what it was, yeah. Oh.

Yeah, at Wire Wills. That's a little concerning. Yeah. If he can get burnt. Yeah. Saturday, at the Rangers game, there was a plane that flew over with a banner that read, Abortion Pills by Mail.

All right. These are obviously pro-choice advocates. Feels like if you were in the need for abortion pills, you'd probably have done some research on it without that plane. That's a weird like impulse uh impulse buy type thing you don't run out and start having sex just so you can get the abortion pill right it goes the other way around yeah no and i mean that's a good point that is a good point but uh yeah over, over the game Saturday night.

Shipping abortion pills by mail is a felony in Texas, but several online groups will send them here anyway, relying on what are known as SHIELD laws. All right. Sounds woke. It does sound woke, doesn't it? I remember when I was a kid, I think I thought it was really cool whenever you would see somebody

trying to send a message. You would see it in Galveston all the time. You'd be on the beach and somebody would be like, Carlos and Charlie's open at six. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love the advertisement behind a plane.

Gotta be a low ROI. What about the writing? Sky writing? Never seen that in person. I wonder if I have. Like, Jenny take me back? Got to be a low ROI. What about the writing? Sky writing. Never seen that in person. I wonder if I have. Like, Jenny, take me back? Yeah, where they use the chemtrails.

The abortion pill, I remember when that was first coming out a long time ago. Do you? I do. And it was called RU486. RU, like it was just a, that was the technical number for it. But didn't you, have you guys ever heard of that? No, I mean, it makes sense. Has anyone here remember RU486? That was the term. But it was R-U, like now you're asking a question, 48 86ing, and that's like killing something, right?

Take the onions off. But it was an R-U-486. Like that was the technical, that was the number of times they had tried doing it, and they, I don't know, got on that. Like Formula 404, you've heard of that? Yeah, like it was the 404th time that they. Yeah. 409.

Formula 409. Yeah. Which they tried to give people as the abortion bill. No, no. 486th time. That didn't happen. But... But it actually did work, but it also killed the lady.

Yeah. That was taking... Jesus. Yeah. She drank the formula. Eclipse is coming up. Look. Eclipse. Eclipse is coming up. Look. Got some big Eclipse fans in the house.

I am one of those. The weather's not looking good. Yes. Blake's a jerk. Where are you going? Colorado. Where? Skiing?

Mm-hmm. Well, I hope it's 100 degrees and all the snow melts. Well, we're supposed to have snow the day before, so we should be good and powdery. I hope you're on a big, muddy hill. Why are you saying that? Because he's ruining against me and my Eclipse Fund.

He's going to be gone that week skiing. Oh, my God. Here's Dan's Eclipse Fund. Oh, it's over. Okay, great. I guess our live stream can get no numbers, and we're just going to starve here. No, I want the live stream to do well. Just to see us all sad?

No, I hope the live stream has success, but I don't care about looking at something in the sky. Dude, it's... I don't either. I've got to be honest. Can I take the day off? Yeah, why don't you just take a couple weeks off? Both of you guys.

You can look at it on your phone. This guy thinks he could carry this. The eclipse? All on his own? The show. Oh. Yeah. Well, I'll just get Joe and, I don't know, and Jeremiah.

You better call Sarah. Joe and Jeremiah. No, I didn't even think about this, but the weather service, the National Weather Service, said yesterday that there's about a 15% likelihood that we will have favorable eclipse viewing conditions. Oh, my God. Oh, man. That's pretty low.

That's pretty low. Yeah. We got a better chance of winning the lottery. I had to check the data on that. But the National Weather Service of Fort Worth said the overall trend is not looking good to say the least um uh we have a storm system oh my gosh so the one time it rains here it's gonna rain admit it's kind of funny because we're working on we're to buy like a camera lens that can actually stare at that sun. Whoa, whoa.

Did we talk about this? Well, a video guy was talking about it. Okay. Well. And you know, he. He might want to bring that before the council. Okay. But Dan, think about the people traveling in, buying their Airbnb, renting a car.

Yeah, but this affects me negatively. That's all I usually think about in life. Why? You're staying at home anyway. Like when I think about all the people like cheering for their favorite team and then it loses, I love that. That's funny. Yeah.

Same thing. But this one affects me. Everyone is team eclipse and it's going to lose. Like when the Cowboys lost and Jake was all sad. I thought that was hilarious. It was kind of. It was only because you were in your pizza jacket. And it got us great views. It did kind of. It was only because you were in your pizza jacket. And it got us great views.

It did. You know. But you don't know that we wouldn't have still had great views if they won. We had like 28,000 views on that.

I haven't told y'all this. The second most populous city to watch that stream was Green Bay. I bet there are a bunch of Packers fans wanting to see Jake Mad. Really?

You could tell that, huh? Yeah. That's cool. And then from the file of the Olympics are going to create X amount, experts predict almost a $700 million bump in DFW from the total solar eclipse. So it would be funny, as Blake said, if everybody pays $800 a night for a hotel. The cars, the rentals are just through the roof, Airbnbs, and then it's just raining.

You want to talk about violence? Yeah. Yeah. That could hit. Bunch of dorks. Slap fighting each other. I don't know how they fight. I don't know.

Something like that. How eclipse chasers fight. Yeah. Something like that. How he clips Chasers' fight? Yeah. Something like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it says the Morning News is reporting $689.7 million in total spending to the DFW area. Wait. 202 of that. $689?

Like you had it that close? It says $689.7 million with $201.6 million expected to come from tourists. All right, that's the most ridiculous figure I've ever heard. They do this all the time. Have they finally just said, wait, people aren't buying this $700 million bit? Let's get a little more. Let's get kind of specific. Just come up with something.

Yeah. $689. Well, no, even a little more specific. They even have it broken down by county. How are we doing in Tarrant? Well, Dallas is number one. Yeah, Dallas is the better path of totality. Yeah, because Plano.

Stop loving that term. Plano and Irving are in Dallas County. You have one more week of this term. Then never again? Yeah. I mean, 1,600 more years. Terrence is not listed here, but San Antonio is number two. Or whatever that is.

Bayer. I'm excited for Sports Mayor's tweet about this. Oh, my God. He'll own it somehow. Eclipse Mayor. Yeah. Eclipse Mayor. All right, there's your news.

The Dumb Dumb. Pretty slow on the draw today, bud. Hey, you bummed him out with that weather report. Jeremiah, join us. Where's Jeremiah? Looks like he's making a drink. Today in history. Really?

I will say they have the most impressive spread that we've had at a remote yet. Sorry, everybody else. You're just trying to get others to... It's meant to be a compliment. Sorry, Smokey B's Barbecue with... That was awesome. All right. That was great.

I think they've all been great. Yeah. Blake's right. This is the best. Trying to compliment. What's in the cup? This is Jack Daniels. I put a little bit of Sprite in it because I've had so much today.

I thought I should, you know, mix it up. Back it down with a little Sprite. This is what you can do as a successful small business owner. Listen, this is, yeah. Let this be a lesson to everybody. You got an LLC, bro? Figure your life out, and then you can fall apart. Of course.

You doing quarterly taxes? I got to do that part first. You have no idea. Oh, yeah. Quarterly taxes. Everything is trouble. You're taking one of those drinks? Yeah, why not?

Yes. Honey? Yes? Get Jake a drink. This is the last segment, isn't it? What's Jake drinking? I'm going to the sauna after this. You know what we wanted?

I wanted to get you guys the shot ski that Andy Cohen, he does that. Is it on a ski? Yeah, I've seen those before. With all the shots on one ski. Like, man, how fun would that have been? But we're not. Yeah, how fun would that have been? I can't even imagine.

There's no measuring, actually. So, Jeremiah, this is Monday, April 1st. Did you know that? Yes, day before my birthday. No bits? My birthday is tomorrow. That's the biggest bit that I have. But we're not doing any April Fool's stuff here?

No. Honestly, truthfully, we're in the business of like installing our mirrors lighting type of stuff and we had our guys go out and install a mirror today and call us and said hey guess what we broke the mirror and we we our hearts sunk and we go what are you talking they go oh april fools it's all good everything's fine so yes we've had a little yes they've yep and they've gathered their boxes and at their desk and they've left. Fired them for dumb April Fool's stuff? Yeah.

So we were victims already today. But otherwise, that's it. Dwight Powell's still a Mav. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So that was all a bit, I guess. It was a bit.

They got you, bro. I know. Yeah. Totally. So on this day in 1919, the final game of the 1919 Stanley Cup was canceled. They got you, bro. I know, yeah. Totally. So on this day in 1919, the final game of the 1919 Stanley Cup was canceled. From wokeness. It was the worldwide epidemic of influenza.

Spanish flu? Yeah, so do you remember? So there was no final game between Montreal and Seattle. The Seattle nicknamed Blake. We just did this. I know. That's why you should know it. Dang it.

Do you remember? Jeremiah? The pre-Kraken. It was pre-Kraken. We just did this. You guys made fun of me because I watched it. I heard you guys. I watched a piece on them during the playoffs. There was a picture of them.

That's right. They had bunnies as their jersey. Yeah, but they were hard workers. It wasn't really related. It wasn't. The Seattle Metropolitans. That's right. On this day in 1934,

Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow shot two highway patrolmen in Grapevine, Texas. Was that at Dove and 114? Yeah. That's where Bonnie and Clyde? Yeah, near there. Did a bit? Their thing?

Yeah. On this day in 1976, Apple Computer was founded by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne. Sorry, Ron. 12 days later, Ronald Wayne won it out. Cashed out. Oh. For like 20 grand

or something. He sold his 10% share of the new company back to Jobs and Wozniak for $800. Oh, no. Shit. Which would be the equivalent

of $4,300 today. Okay, not bad. Not bad. One year later, he accepted a final $1,500 to forfeit any potential future claims against the newly incorporated Apple. Today, if you're wondering, Apple is worth $2.62 trillion. So what's 10% of that? Who knows?

$2.6 billion, right? Or no? I don't know. Think you're there? No, that's not right. No one knows. $2.60 billion? Yeah, $2.60.

Jeez. $4,300. But I'm sure he doesn't think about that every single day. I think he's dead, isn't he? No, he's like 80-something. Okay. He should be dead. Oh, well. But I'm sure he doesn't think about that every single day. I think he's dead, isn't he? No, he's like 80-something. He should be dead. Oh, well. Jeez.

That's kind of a downer. April Fool's. On this day in 1984, Marvin Gaye, who was a famous singer, was shot to death by his father, Marvin Gaye, who was a famous singer, was shot to death by his father, Marvin Gaye Sr. The day before Marvin Gaye Jr.'s 45th birthday.

Ooh. So Marvin Gaye was born on your birthday, Jeremiah. How about that? Yes. All right. Are you 45? I'm close. Okay. Do you still have a dad? Yes. Well, watch Are you 45? I'm close. Okay.

Do you still have a dad? Yes. Well, watch. I would not go. I'm keeping. Yeah. I would stay away from him. I'm keeping my eyes on him. Because what if his whole thing was I want to emulate.

I want to recreate the life of Marvin Gaye. I'm not as talented. Because the elder Marvin Gaye pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter and got probation. Wow. He didn't even serve any days. All right. Does it say why? Why did he shoot him?

I don't know. Why did he get probation, I think would be the question. What? Probably because he found out his son was gay. It was a different time. That's the cheapest you've ever gone. I can go lower. And that's saying something.

I can go lower. This is the day that George Plimpton in 1985 played an April Fool's joke on the readers of Sports Illustrated. Boy, little Danny. Little Dan was very excited to read about Sid Finch, who was a 28-year-old aspiring monk who could throw a fastball 168 miles per hour. You thought a catcher could catch that?

Well, they put a special mitt on the catcher. Special pad. He learned how to throw because he was a goat herder in the Himalayas. And I believe he would have to throw rocks at animals coming to... I Himalayas. Right. And I believe he would have to throw rocks at animals coming to, I don't know. Sure.

You ever read the article? I have. Have you? After you sent it to me some years ago. Yeah. I might have you read it, Blake, and just see, do you feel like little Blake would have fallen for this? Because I was a huge baseball nerd.

Yeah, I probably would have. I was so fired up. Yeah. And then I turned on my sports talk of the day was Pete Franklin at night. And he said it was all a hoax. I'm like, what does Pete know? Yeah, dude, I'm sorry. You're wrong on this one.

Do you call in? 99% of the time. I probably called in. Pete, I think you're wrong about this one. On this day in 1985, Villanova defeated Georgetown 66-64. This was to win the natty. This would be the last game played without. Three-point line.

Nope. Blake? Dunks. Shot clock? The shot clock. On this day in 1996, umpire John McSherry. He's 51 years old. And a big man.

Very big. He was an umpire. He apparently had planned to see doctors the next day about an irregular heartbeat. He collapsed seven pitches into Cincinnati's opener and died. So the Reds-Expos game was postponed until the next day. Reds owner Marge Schott afterwards said, there was snow this morning and now this? I feel cheated. She was the Reds' owner.

And then apparently they say the bouquet that she sent to his funeral was a re-gifted one. Frank and old school? Yeah. And finally, for today in history. I will say this. She's obviously

a terrible person or was a terrible person but I sort of miss the colorful owner yeah the wheels off owner like these teams now and obviously like I'm in the city of like right pretty good scene with you know Tommy boy

owning the stars and then Jerry and Mark Cuban. But the leagues are all passing stuff now where the teams can be owned by private equity firms. It's just like, oh, BlackRock owns a team. And there used to be a day where Major League didn't seem that far-fetched. Were you guys happy to see the Timberwolves thing

fall from Alex Rodriguez's grasp? Did you guys see that? What, just that he couldn't? What do you mean? Because. I know he wanted to. He was going. Yeah, yeah.

Like, it just fell through like this past weekend. Yeah. And he was really mad. Yeah. And I was happy to see that. Why is he so tan? I feel like that could be racist. Why? What so tan? I feel like that could be racist. Why?

What say you? I'll allow it. Okay. Just asking a question. But no, I do think he's darker, which means he's tan. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's not like a Pale guy Very normal thing To start

On this day in 2003 Jake American troops entered a hospital in Nazaria Iraq And rescued Oh yeah Jessica Lynch Who had been held prisoner

Since her unit was ambushed On March 23rd That's a wild story. That definitely helped PR-wise at home. Is she the one that's a man now? Or there was a man that's a woman now? That was the whistleblower. Yep.

There we go. She's the one that I want to date, right? Yes. Because she was a POW. Yeah. And then when she's bitching about me Doing something Like whoa whoa

So what the den has power And you don't Right You've dealt with Way worse You were waterboarded Now get that top off Jesus

Does your wife hate us Jeremiah No but You are speaking directly to Jesus. Does your wife hate us, Jeremiah? No, but you are speaking directly to a war refugee who did, I mean, her meals were water with flour for four years. So is it as great as I think? What, it was war? No, you get to, you are married to someone who you can never do the worst thing to see i see it i saw it as the opposite i i've always said well i should i can't complain and personally i can't ever say like gee i came home and this i had this tough

of a day i had such a bad day oh yeah she'll never sympathize with anything you're going through that's how i've always taken it oh Oh, you were in court? I bet that was really tough. You know where I was? I was in shackles. Yeah, yeah. No, that's right. I never thought about the dark side of this. I was avoiding mines and snipers. I was just thinking she would never be upset with how I treated her.

Exactly. She's also never sympathizing with the plight of Jeremiah. Chelsea Manning there we go he I'm trying to move yeah yeah no she he was the one I was thinking of it's uh she oh that's right she I'm sorry yep did you just dead name he did I did what was his name bradley chelsea handler there we go hot or not chelsea handler yeah hot okay handler yes but not the the dude not the war you don't think dudes can be hot dudes look at him look at michael yeah look at our video guy but if but if michael became a woman i

don't think he'd be hot he's hot hot as a dude, but not as a chick. He's hot no matter what he is. I wouldn't be so sure about that. Well, I'm open to that. I think I'd be hot as a woman. And I've grown so much that I'm open to that. You're just too hairy. Obviously, that would change.

Jeez, that's depressing. Blake now. We have some. Don't you think? Probably wouldn't need too many estrogen treatments. I'm just thinking Blake is a hotter woman than Jake. What do you think? There's absolutely no way that's true.

Yeah, because Jake's taller. Now he's a little more full figured. But you know. Some guys like that. I do. Yeah. I would not like me, to be clear. Right. But somebody would. Oh, there's someone

for everyone. Let's see. Today's birthday. Who is going to be attacked first in prison? Me. Dan, Jake, Blake. Me. Blake. We all. Dude, it's 100% me. Look how soft he is. We all know that. Yeah. It's 100% me. Well, soft he is. We all know that. Yeah. It's 100% me.

Well, I don't know, man. Kermit arms? No, but like you said... They're busting me down the second I walk in there. Yeah, but why can't you be kidnapped? Because you're too annoying. You'd be too annoying. Blake would just assimilate and take it. Yeah.

Like, you'd put up too much, although maybe they want to fight. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I don't want to fight. Birthdays today. Former Ranger Mike Bassick is 72. He was drafted. How many rounds do they have now in baseball, Blake?

Anybody know? A lot. Yeah. I don't know. Well, I don't know how many they had back then, but he was drafted in the 55th round. That's a lot of scouting. That is. Yeah. It's important to just kind of throw in darts. Former Dallas star UC Yoken in his 41. Damn. He ended up

playing for nine teams. I thought that might elicit some response, but I'll move on to Mark. Why would it? Cool. Like, why? It's a third of the league.

Well, who do we have in the club? Mark Jackson is 59. He's crazy. His NBA card has a Kemp spin. Yeah, he's got the Menendez brothers in the background sitting courtside. What? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. True story. While, you know, it was post they'd killed their parents and the cops were like investigating them and they were spending all their money. Announcer Mark Jackson? Yeah. When he played for the Knicks, I believe.

Yeah. All right. All right to the Menendez brothers. Now I'm into it. Method Man is 53. M-E-T-H-O-D. Man. Remember the sitcom Method and Red?

It was good. Was it really? Yeah. Method Man is hilarious. So is Redman. Country singer Hillary Scott is 38. Can't help you. She is with Lady A.

They used to be Lady Antebellum. Yeah, because I was racist. Yeah. We didn't know. I was like, well, I feel like you did. Samuel Alito is 70. Judge. Is he one of the good guys?

No. He is not. He's one of the bad guys. Terry Nichols, 69. He's one of the bad guys. Terry Nichols, 69. He's a bad guy. Is that the former head of the Democratic Party? No. Oklahoma City bomber.

Oh, okay. Oh. Yeah. All right. That kind of bad guy. We end with some good ones. Logan Paul. Dan. 29. with some good ones. Logan Paul.

Dan. 29. Okay. Happy birthday. The second most famous person who went to my high school. The first is Jake. Yes. Did you really bet on Tyson?

It at one point was me. Why? Have the odds changed? No, I was just asking. I haven't put any money yet. Not yet? Yeah, I was just asking. I haven't put any money yet. Not yet? Yeah, I will. But you just wonder, are they just going to kind of D around out there?

Yeah. That's what everyone thinks. Collect a check. Because I feel like if you wanted to, Tyson could put him into Middle Earth. Maybe 30 years ago. Dude, have you... Those are training videos. He's 60. Mike Tyson could put him underground if you wanted to. Dude, have you... Those are training videos. Mike Tyson... He's 60.

Mike Tyson could put him underground if he wanted to. No, he couldn't. And... Come on, man. But Mike had the... Who did he fight just recently? Was it Roy Jones or somebody?

Who's also 60. That's not happening. Dude, it's Mike Tyson. It's still in there. I watched that Roy Jones fight. It's Father Time. In fact, I bought that Roy Jones fight. And it was worthless. Yeah, because Snoop Dogg was on the call or something? Yeah, Snoop was on the call. It's still in there. It's father time. In fact, I bought that Roy Jones fight. And it was worthless.

Yeah, because Snoop Dogg was on the call or something? Yeah, Snoop was on the call. It was great. I think Trump got in there. He does like those little, like, he looks like a rock'em sock'em when he tries to do, like, punch stuff. Joe Francis is 51, Jake. Girl's gone wild. GGW.

Wouldn't he bum fights, too? No. Oh, I thought he did the bum fights no because you were into bum fights weren't you unfortunately that's all jake talked about back then yeah no it was pushing people you want to know the worst thing what's that when was bum fights you were like 21 or something no like 17 or 18 okay well i think the worst thing is that I was also into bum fights. You had daughters. I'm on the ticket.

It's like, hey, man, cool, I'm going to order this video. No, it's very regrettable. Yes, I would never do anything like that again. I mean, you could spin it to yourself of like, they are giving them money. Yeah. They wouldn't have had are giving them money. Yeah. They wouldn't have had that money without it. Yeah. It's just...

Or that broken hand. In retrospect. Born on the Stay Now Dead, Sergei Rachmaninoff. Who's that, Blake? I don't know. You'd never heard of Rachmaninoff? Nope. Rachmaninoff.

I don't know. Oh, isn't he like a famous composer and stuff? I thought he was. And I would know that? Anybody? No one's heard of Rachmaninoff? One, two. Yeah, there you go.

We've got three people. Name one hit. Okay, this is for Blake. Also born on this day Now dead Rusty Staub What's his note Oh

Man We just did this A couple weeks ago I know Like two days ago Yeah I know And I still don't remember It was not two days ago

It was not long ago It was The last show we did He was on birthday It was his death anniversary Today's his birthday Okay if it was The more recent one,

then he's the last 30-game winner? Anyone? Why do I even say these things when no one takes them in? Maybe I'm not giving good notes. I think we're all wondering the same thing. First player to DH all 162 games. Dang it. Okay.

Awesome. Also, more than this day, Sean Taylor. Oh, and Phil Necro. Sean Taylor, man. Is that a tough one for you? He was just like an extremely, extremely fun player to watch. How'd he die? Home invasion.

Home invasion, yeah. Oh. Yeah. And then Jackson Mahomes did the gritty on the field. During his retired number. Really weird retirement. Yeah, that they threw together in one week because everyone was like, I think the Redskins might be racist and sexist. And they're like, Sean Taylor died. Yeah.

They're like, remember that? Yeah, but doesn't seem related. And born now dead, we have Phil Necro. I'm a sucker for the safety, Dan. Okay. Yeah. Not just the gunner on a special team. No, but a lot of times the same guy.

You know Phil Necro's claim to fame with me? With you? No. We once had him on, and I asked him if he and his brother... Do you know who his brother is? Joe Necro, famous Major League pitcher as well. Okay. Joe pitched 22 years in the bigs, Phil 24.

Wow. Yeah. I asked him if he ever considered branching off with his brother and creating their own league and calling it the Necro League. And how did he take that? He didn't respond as well as this room did. And what about Bob? Was he really on board with that?

Bob will wait and see how the guests respond. Where's the flag blowing? Jeez. Women's basketball tonight, Dan. And died on the stay still dead, Eddie LeBaron in 2015. Cowboy great. I thought that was a midget. Excuse me.

Whoa. Eddie Goodell is a midget. I'm sorry. Or was a midget. Someone experiencing dwarfism. I'm sorry. I know that's not an okay term. But he's dead, so he's a digit. Oh my God. Wow. Thanks for covering for me. Yeah. What a friend.

So much worse than what I said. He's a dead. No, no, no. Don't say it again. We got it. Before we get to Jeremiah's closing remarks, can I read this text message I just got? It says, does Jake want to be in a commercial with Patrick Mahomes? Yes. He says, I need a tired guy running on a treadmill. Mahomes is going to come over and hand him a coffee.

I've never seen a guy that looks more tired than Jake. It was a long weekend, dog. Yeah. Yeah, we know it's April Fool's. No, this is legit. Do you want in? But... Jeremiah, closing thoughts.

Yeah, he's saying you're getting ball sacked by the person asking. Yeah, no, we're moving on. The person asking, it's fake. Yeah. I really don't think it is. It can't be. Well, let's check in tomorrow. Do you want me to say yes in the meantime?

I want to hear from Jeremiah. I'm going to say yes. I want you to stop being so gullible. I'm not. He's a legit guy. He's shocked after this Dwight Powell thing. Okay, I'm going to tell him you're in. All right, Jeremiah, closing thoughts.

Thanks for having us here. Plug the website again if you'd like. Are we saying that the... That was the weakest clap I've ever seen in my life. I thought everybody would start joining me once I showed the... Once you went... I was just doing the visual.

All right, there you go. Yeah. And I don't even think this is the lead, but really, like the Dwight Powell story is not real? That's what you have? Yes. This is your opportunity. Because you guys broke that to me, and I'm looking through my phone so hard.

I go, did they really waive Dwight Powell? Yeah, what would we do without those.5 minutes of game? Well, that will be a different era in the Mavs when they finally admit we can move on from Dwight Powell because we haven't been able to admit that for the last who knows however many 10 years now this is not the closing remarks that you had no let's get to those these are just off the cuff yeah we're trying to he's just riff riffing. I'm here. Okay. Okay, first of all, do you guys realize that the breaking news on the eclipse a week from now is that Dallas is no longer in the path of totality? It's moving.

Yes, it's apparently moved off course from Dallas where we thought... I don't know. Honey? Who can know? She says yes. Alright, well you guys are crazy. The path of totality doesn't like now move because. That's what I've. No, it's space.

I would have thought that we would have known this, that the Mayans knew this thousands of years ago. But somehow the path. If your wife read an April Fool's Day thing online. What was the second point? There we go. But it's certainly an April Fool's Day thing online. What was the second point? Okay, there we go. But it's certainly an April Fool's Day thing.

Okay, well, honestly. But it's not the worst thing that's ever happened to your wife. This is true. Yeah. Number two on my list, most important on the top of my head, I want everybody to understand, and i'm glad you brought it up jake your voice maybe it's hitting extra hard today but as soon as i met you i went to my phone and i wrote that down i go jake's voice is it just hits yeah thank you thank you i appreciate that

yeah yeah that's some weird stuff you have written in your phone. Yes. Right down Main Street here, folks. I've listened to you for years, and I have everything, and when I met you, your voice, I feel like half of your voice gets captured by the microphone. Yeah, me too. It's limiting me. Somehow there's a whole other half of your voice. Yeah. You ever smoked with Jake?

Huh? You ever smoked a cigarette with Jake? No, but I'm hoping at the end of this that we can. Well, you got him halfway there because he has to start with a drink. Yeah. Yes. Yes, I have some cigarettes. I would love to smoke a cigarette with Jake.

All right. Let's just pretend like we did. Oh, the other. Since we brought up Jesse Hawley today. Yeah, okay. Jesse Hawley is a personal friend of ours. We went to Jesse Hawley's wedding because my wife and I met at UT Southwestern, and that's where we worked with Jesse Hawley's wife.

And so when she met him, it was like, hey, Jesse, oh, you know, we're – and I'm like, yeah, I know exactly who that is. He got his job on the Cowboys as a wide receiver. A football player. Yeah, on a reality show. So just so everybody knows, I've been to Jesse Hawley's wedding. That's awesome. Yeah, no, we were.

I just wanted to put that out there. That's pretty sweet. All right, let's be done. Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, and I think I'm going to end it with, usually Blake will toss a song on there, but would you guys want me to toss on there what I was doing when I was fresh out of college

trying to start a comedy network? Oh my God, yes. Do you guys remember this bit? A little Air Force One play? Sure. So we did a couple that were specific to certain holidays. Adios. Yeah.

Adios, mofo. What is it with April Fool's Day? The fact that our society has come up with a national holiday for practical jokers amazes me. Think about it. We're giving one day of our year to people that we despise. I mean, why don't we just have National Muggers Day? I can see it now.

We can set aside one day that you can just pull somebody into an alley and say, Give me your wallet, now. Hey, but you don't even have a gun. Well, yeah, I know, but it's National Muggers Day. Oh, okay, here you go. Oh, hey, take my Rolex, too. Don't forget. Oh, thanks. Happy Muggers Day. Pinefield, brought to you by Ben Gay Band Sunglasses.

Ben Gay Band Sunglasses reduce harmful ultraviolet waves as you soothe aching facial muscles. And now back to Weinfeld! Gorge, I wish you'd get a job so you wouldn't have to eat all my Kingdons. Hello? Oh, Jerry, you gotta come down to the diner right away. You know that sexy Sports Illustrated swimsuit model you've always wanted to meet? You mean Elle McPherson?

Yeah, she's here now. Hurry up and come down so you can meet her. Oh, I can't. I'm all scummy. I just got my sweats on. Well, hurry up and get a shower. Put on something nice. I'll start talking to her and keep her here for you. All right, I'm on my way. Oh, man. Oh, wow. I can't believe it. I'm gonna meet Elle McPherson. April F's! I can't believe it, Gorge. Elaine had the whole diner in on it.

April Fool's Day. I hate it. Hello? Jerry! Hey, I'm glad I caught you. Hey, what's happening, Creamer? Hey, listen, I'm down in the lobby, and you'll never guess who I met. Al McPherson!

Aw, come on, Creamer. Yeah, I'm serious. Stooman knows her. Anyway, I told her you always wanted to meet her. Cream. So I'm bringing her right up. Creamer! Hey, I'll be right up! I'm not falling for that again. Can you believe this, Gorge?

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to show him an April Fool's joke. I'm going to take off all my clothes and meet Creamer at the door, stark naked, bare-bottomed, in the raw. Yeah, I'm going to show that Creamer an April Fool's. Hello, creamer. Jerry! No! Jerry!

No, no! How come just April Fools Day? Why did they pick the month of April? Why wasn't it March Moron, July Jerk, or November Ninny? Don't you hate getting caught in an April Fool's Day prank? You're just like, oh yeah, yeah, real good one, Bob. Really funny. Slashing the tires on my car. No, no, you are the prankster.