The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 4-4-24

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

Subscribe to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneCowboys all-pro kicker, Brandon Aubrey, joins the show!Strap in for another mind-boggling episode of The Dumb Zone, where we explore the quirky, the questionable, and the downright dumbfounding. In this episode, we're unraveling the twisted tale of the most unusual getaway vehicle ever – a Lamborghini and a Corvette involved in a street race gone wrong. The twist? The cars belong to none other than Richland Rebel's own Rashee Rice. We dissect the high-speed chaos that led to an explosive crash on a Texas highway.But the madness doesn't end there. We're also diving into the peculiar case of a cordless vacuum battery that decided to go out with a bang, literally exploding and setting a family's house ablaze. And as if that weren't enough, we take to the skies with the story of an abortion pill advocacy plane that flew over a Rangers game, raising eyebrows and questions alike.We wrap up with a look at the upcoming solar eclipse that's got everyone buzzing – except for the weather, which seems to have other plans. We ponder the potential disappointment of eclipse chasers and the astronomical impact on local hustles if the celestial show gets clouded out.Join us on The Dumb Zone, where normal is just a setting on the dryer, and every story is a head-scratcher. Whether it's sports scandals, explosive home incidents, or astronomical anomalies, we're here to make sense of the senseless with a pinch of sarcasm and a heap of humor. (00:00) - Open (07:28) - Brandon Aubrey (59:02) - Viewer Mail (01:10:16) - Sports: NFL, Sports Mayor (01:26:25) - News (01:43:28) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week.

Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program. The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza. This is the type of game that old-time crusty football players hate. They hate it when you watch a 60-minute ball game and the guys fight their heart out defensively, offensively, blood and gut, and then the game is decided by two foreign guys. I mean, kickers.

Either one of these guys are foreign. Well, you know what I'm getting. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Well, you know what I'm getting. That's the inherent... Would that be called racism? Yeah. No, I think so. Xenophobia. Xenophobia? Minimum, yeah.

I feel like that's the backdrop of me growing up. Yeah. Like, it was just, oh, okay, yeah, I agreed with that. I nodded when he said that. I don't want the game decided by some foreign guy. Yeah. I need Mean Joe Green to decide the game. Blood, sweat, tears.

I don't know. Anyway, I've been told that we need to introduce ourselves to let new people know who we are. I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jake Kemp. I'm Blake Jones. Well, I just met me and Jake. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Let me just mark this and edit my name out. Nobody was really checking for you there. Sorry. I thought this was a three-man show. Okay. Anyway. It's a three-man show today. I hate to start off on a negative stance.

Because we just went off of a business Wednesday was yesterday, a very successful business Wednesday I would say And I was going to ask you guys what you did Like what did you do on business Wednesday But then I realized Like when my wife asked me What I did today

And I usually am like I don't know I can't remember Nothing is fine Same day She didn't really want't know, I can't remember, nothing is fine, same day. She didn't really want to know what I did. She wanted to tell me what she did.

Okay. And then she goes into, oh, you have nothing? Okay, well, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and this is the start of work, and this is the bottom of me, and I'm like, okay. So I just actually want to tell you guys that yesterday, my day included filming, a high-level business lunch on the business card. We talked about ROIs. Okay. And LLCs.

Okay. How'd you feel about that? Other acronyms. I think it went great. Neither one of those are acronyms. No? Isn't LLC an acronym? ROI is an acronym.

Return on investment? Wouldn't you say acronym is like NASA? Yeah. Like something that you can actually say as like a word? I thought any three-letter... I think that's just like an abbreviation. Yeah, there's a different word for it. The first letter of each word is an acronym.

But you don't say Roy. You say ROI. Am I wrong? Is RBI an acronym? No, you're right. Brandon, is RBI an acronym? I think RBI is an acronym. I don't think it is.

FG? When I look at Brandon, I think of FG. No, that's just an abbreviation. And I want to say this one more thing. Am I wrong here? Before I talk to everybody else, we have a full den here today. We do. But I also did a radio appearance.

I heard about that. A terrestrial radio appearance for the first time since... How'd that feel? Ice Cube. Ice Cube. The Cube. Our last terrestrial radio appearance, we had Ice Cube in studio. Shorter than you think.

Yeah. A small man. Yeah. You know, but David Stern set that template for running a basketball league. Okay, yeah. You need to be a short dude. I like that.

So I used it as a promotional tool. like that so uh i used it as a promotional tool and uh we you know i gave like patreon.com slash the dumb zone a sadly couple times i mentioned our 420 bit that we're going to do on youtube soon uh on april 20th we're doing a show at 420 on 420. You can tune into our YouTube stream, and we are going to do a live show and make a bunch of announcements and stuff. It's like a weed reference. We're just trying to figure out. Right over my head, yeah. Oh, yeah, okay.

The NFL doesn't know anything about weed. Maybe kickers don't. I don't know. Anyway, I just want to say that we gained double-digit followers off of my appearance yesterday. And I would like to put that up against Jake's promotional tour that he took on the company card down to Austin one day. Do you want to fill him in? No, I sent it to you so you could put it back in his face.

This is your victory, bud. Wait, what? Uh-oh. Yeah, I mean, let me pull up the stats. I got us 11 new followers. Subbies. Subscriptions. Yeah, in the next two days after I went on circling back,

we had 187 new setups. That's three digits. Yeah. Boy. We had 12. That's three digits. Yeah. Boy. We had 12. That's three digits. After your big radio appearance. So that's more than 10x.

Don't really know. Where are you guys coming up with these false numbers? I mean, he pulled the info. Yeah, I poured over the info this morning. You went over the data. Yeah. Because, I mean, I was expecting five, six hundred new subscribers after yesterday. I bought a new house. Yeah, I thought I was looking at new cars. All right, well, I'm gonna have to cancel some orders. And then I saw 11 new people. I also spent a lot of money yesterday. Wow, 11 new people. I bet we get more from having Brandon Aubrey on.

Yeah. Hey, guess what? Right here, sitting in the den. So we are broadcasting today live to tape high atop my garage, and it is Cowboy All-Pro. All-Pro. Not Pro Bowl. Anybody could be in the Pro Bowl.

Yeah. How many are All-Pros? I think just one. kicker. Not Pro Bowl. Anybody could be in the Pro Bowl. Yeah. How many are all pros? I think just one. Brandon Aubrey is sitting right there next to Blake. Thanks for having me, guys. Hey, thanks for being here. I had this email on

March 8th. You remember that day, Brent? It says here, Dear Dan, I'm a P1 and Dumb Zone subscriber. you remember that day Brent says here dear Dan I'm a P1 and dumb zone subscriber this is called the dumb zone Brandon you've probably been filled in a little bit right yeah on the way over

on the way over what am I doing why am I here I've enjoyed your work over the years I'd like to support the little guy I spoke with my son in law Brandon the Cowboys kicker and he would like to be on your show if that's something you'd be interested in of course I would like to I spoke with my son-in-law, Brandon, the Cowboys kicker,

and he would like to be on your show if that's something you'd be interested in. Of course, I would like to accompany him to witness your work firsthand in the den. Let me know if you're interested from Brent Blum. Bloom? Bloom. Bloom. And so immediately I thought, this is fake. Of course, yeah. Because if you're going— Generally, we all thought it was fake.

You don't pick like Zeke or Dak or CD if you're going to fake something. You pick somebody that maybe isn't always in the news every – although Brandon Aubrey is kind of a pretty high level for a kicker, right? There's one all pro. Right. Yeah, right. for a kicker, right? There's one all pro. Right. Yeah, right. But I was thinking, what? Really?

So, yes, I then searched Brandon Aubrey wife because apparently he has a father-in-law. And that's where I found numerous stories of Jen, who is also here in the den. We should welcome Jen. Jen. Didn't get the computer applause. No computer

applause. She got the real thing. And yeah, it was difficult to piece it together because then I had to search Jen Bloom. And that really found... And then I realized, hey man, this might not be fake. Unless this is a really intricate email. Like, I just thought a dude was going to show up here and be like, yeah, man.

Yeah. I told you I had Brandon Aubrey, but here is Steve. Yeah. And then Steve and Brent would just sit and watch the show and it'd be fun. And then we'd have a story to tell. But actually, Brent is actually your father-in-law. Yeah. Does the email say that Brandon wanted to be on the show?

Because I don't think that's right. Yeah, no. I feel like that was... It says he would like to be on your show. Yeah, no. But it took some convincing, right? I asked him first. Okay.

Yeah. You're like, yeah, whatever? Yeah, absolutely. Anything for Brent. Great guy. Anything for Brent. Okay. Brent is a pilot, right?

Yes. You're a pilot, right? Yes. You're a current pilot. You want to grab that mic for just a second? How you doing, man? Great. What's your deal? What? So you're from Colleyville?

Or you live in Colleyville now? Grapevine, Colleyville, yes. Okay. And you're a pilot? Pilot for American. You want to revisit our Sully conversation from off the air or no? I'm good on that. We can let that one slide.

Could you have done what Sully did, though? Let's just say that. Possibly. Could Brandon? Oh, absolutely. Anyone can land a plane. Well, Brandon has proved he can do anything. He has done everything he's tried.

With enough training, I'm thinking he could. At a very high level. For sure. he's tried. With enough training, I'm thinking he could. At a very high level. For sure. It's interesting. If there was a situation where a plane was in danger, and you had to find a football player to bring it home, wouldn't you want Kicker? I think you want Brandon Cooks.

Oh, because he can actually fly, right? Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's true. Does he really? Yeah. Brandon Cooks is a pilot? Yeah. I guess that's true. Does he really? Yeah. Brandon Cook is a pilot? Yeah. I think he had Micah and CD.

Yep, and I think it was just a little Cessna. Yeah. So as a rookie, did you have to do rookie hazing stuff last year? No. Just go up there and give your best shot at singing a song in front of the whole team. But other than that, nothing much. Notre Dame fight song? Yeah, what'd you go?

I think I got Backstreet Boys. They just spin a wheel and you get whatever you get. Okay. Is McCarthy really big? He's a normal-sized human. Okay. We just love when Jerry talks about him. He's like, oh, this big old boy. Sometimes we feel like Jerry wants to ride him.

Oh, gosh. No comment. Just get on his back. That would be quite the sight. Brandon Aubrey. What Backstreet Boys song? Backstreet's Backstreet Boys. That's the one, actually.

I was terrible. Very monotone. Didn't deliver it very well. Got booed off the stage. Got it done with. I don't believe you. I feel like you killed it. Oh, no. But you didn't have to do anything crazy Got booed off the stage. Got it done with. I don't believe you. I feel like you killed it. Oh, no.

But you didn't have to do anything crazy like buying dinner for, you've heard about that kind of stuff. I guess that's for the big bonus guys. Yeah, that's for the high-drafted guys. They don't want to take my whole salary from me. Now, did they do that for you in the MLS? Because you were a high-drafted guy there. So, in the MLS, they actually do the opposite.

The guys who make a bunch of money take out the rookies and pretty much the whole team, and they pay for it. So kind of a little opposite there, but there's a lot less money involved in MLS rosters. So it's a little bit fairer there. So you went to high school in Plano. Yes. You're a kick-ass soccer player, right?

I think so. Yeah. Well, I mean, you ended up... Playing pro. Full scholarship, of course. 60%. There's only 9.9 scholarships for a soccer team in college for like 32, 33 guys. 9.9?

Yep. That's weird. Random number. Picked it out of a hat. Yeah. Are there lacrosse scholarships jen okay how much what was your percentage okay not 60 oh you got a full ride senior year yeah performance based okay and then you were a

number one pick uh a first round draft pick in the mLS. Yes, the Toronto FC. It didn't go the way you wanted. Nope. Or else you'd still be playing in the MLS. Yeah, thankfully. Or did you ever have actual dreams like I could go overseas and play? We all have dreams of that when we're young. And by the time I met Jen and was coming out of college, I kind of want to stay in the States, which just so happens I got drafted to Canada, which is close enough. But yeah, I mean, if you're good enough while you're playing the MLS,

you'll get picked up by some team. A lot of Americans now are going overseas and actually doing really well. Have you been overseas? I've been overseas, but not to play professionally. Okay. Do you get a little discount with father-in-law? They fly free on the standby.

Okay. That's a beating though, isn't it? Yeah, it can be. Yeah. You just got to pick your days to travel. Okay. And you know the good days. You probably can...

Yeah, we have a computer program that tells us when the flights are open and when they're not. An algorithm. Yeah. So was it common, like, kids get picked up for the academy at, like, what, 14, 15? So that started while I was in high school. So I turned 16, and they started opening up these academies all over the place for MLS teams.

And now that's the way to go. If you're a really talented player, you go into the academy, like you said, even maybe younger, 10, 11. Ten! Yeah, and start practicing like six times a week every day and just really grinding. It becomes a job really early, and that's modeling the European system. School's kind of an afterthought, and you just – soccer's your job.

You're going to either come out on the other side and have a contract with the first team, or you're going to be chewed up pretty quick, and you're going to go figure out life after that. But that is the way the MLS is trending as well. Oh, wow. Was there any point during MLS college soccer that you thought you'd be kicking a football?

No, no. Gosh, so i obviously went to school and got my degree made sure i had my degree and that was always gonna be my backup plan and by the time i was done with soccer and i started using which was it by the way um i did not enjoy it i wanted to go back and do something athletic while I still had the ability, while I was still young. And it just looked at soccer and probably not something I want to go do for poverty-level wages in the second tier of American soccer, which, I mean. Yeah, what is that?

What is the second tier of American soccer? At the time, it was USL. And the league has grown exponentially since I was in it. Now they have three separate tiers. The level of play has gone up. You have the academy sides. Their kids get loaned out to those teams.

They really have raised the level and I'm sure the pay has followed. When I was in it, I was getting paid $35,000 a year and got housing. i was up in philadelphia with bethlehem steel uh and it was great soccer it was a lot of fun but this wasn't enough to support a family uh so that's why i decided to retire what's first round uh draft money in the mls so at the time i got got $86,000.

That was Canadian. So I don't know how that translates to U.S. No one knows. No. Could never figure it out. Yeah. Nobody knows. I'm sure it's gone up.

I haven't followed the salaries too closely. So the legend is that Jen here, wife Jen, is the one who kind of spurred you in. Is that all just a tale? No, that's fact. Bless her soul, she would sit with me and watch one game on my iPhone, one on the TV, one on my laptop. Big fantasy football player all throughout high school and college. You or Jen?

Me. Oh, okay. Sorry. So you're watching all the, you got all the things. She'd sit there and watch with me. Um, so after, after I'd retired from soccer, continued that trend, just sitting there watching football and she saw I wasn't too happy. Uh, obviously it's a big moment in your life, a little bit of a identity crisis when you give up something that's been your whole life. So she just made the comment, hey, I think you could do that after watching a kicker kick.

And obviously I'm like, what do you know about sports? You know how much effort goes into being a professional athlete. She was a college athlete, so she knew. But I just thought there's no way. And she was persistent with saying that. So we went out, got a ball and a tee, and went to the field and tried. And like, she might be right. Like the two of you?

Yeah. Okay. And so what are you hitting them from that day? Moved all the way back to like 60, 62. It didn't look pretty. It was really low. But it was going through. So like, yeah, she might be right.

So what's your next step? Next step, pull up Google, look up kicking coaches in Dallas. Okay. Found one-on-one kicking with Brian Egan. He was absolutely fantastic. I spent like a year and a half, two years just training with him, me and him. This is while you have like real job too? Yes.

this is while you have like real job too or yes I'm working as a software engineer in the IT department in Arlington for GM Financial so I was waking up at like five going to the field and running then going to work then coming back and hitting some balls with with Brian working on uh working on my kicking game instead of, you know, like a golf game. Like a guy who's working and also trying to get good at golf. It's just instead of golf, it was football. Do they have like simulators or anything? Like is there anything you could do at home or did you have to pretty much every time be out on a field?

So when I'm starting out, a lot of it is trying to get to the same spot with your steps every time. So when you're addressing the ball, getting back to a similar spot. So in my garage, it's still there today. I taped off all six of my steps or the five of my steps. Was it three steps back, two steps over? Yeah. So I had them all mapped out with some tape and then a little square where my

plant was supposed to go. So I just a hundred times a day, take my steps back and over and then pretend like I'm kicking the ball to call dry reps and then make sure my plant foot hits that square. And that was every day for about two months until I could consistently do that. And then also at the same time going out and hitting balls on the days I'm hitting balls. So how is it mentally trying to tell yourself I'm in a 100,000 seat stadium or whatever

and people are going nuts, but you're like, I just do exactly what I do in the garage, right? Yeah, absolutely. And you don't think about any of that. You're just me, the ball, the holder and snapper. That's the only things that are important to me. Those are the only people that touch the ball on my play and really the only people that dictate what's going on.

Obviously, that's not entirely true. You have an offensive line, a defensive line out there. My guys are putting their bodies on the line to protect me and really appreciate that. They did an incredible job for me. But I'm trying actively to not even think about that. I have a little square of focus where I can literally only see maybe a foot-by-foot box of where I'm about to kick the ball, and that's about it.

And then keeping my mind occupied with the process of what it takes to kick the ball. So I'm not focused on the result, just what it takes to go kick the ball. When you kicked that day with Jen on the tee, had you ever kicked a football? I had. I kicked in elementary and middle school. Played wide receiver in middle school. And at the time, I thought, you know,

kicking is just the thing you do to get the extra points at the end of the drive. And wide receiver is my position. You can't really make money kicking a football. So you did nail some in middle school. Yeah, absolutely. So you had been on the field, wore a football uniform. Yep. But not in high school.

No. I had to give up football going into my ninth grade year for soccer. Why? Soccer coach? Yeah. They just want you focusing on that? Absolutely.

It got to the point where if I really want to be good at soccer, I've got to focus on one thing. I can't really split my time with multiple sports. So I was playing football, baseball, basketball at that point and just cut all of them and went just straight to soccer. Are you kind of like an analytical, like a routine guy anyway? Absolutely.

When it comes to football, 100%. When I was playing soccer, not so much. Just go with the flow. Really, in my day-to-day life, I don't have any crazy routines. Just kind of go with the flow. For football, for kicking in particular, something so repetitive and you have to be so detail-oriented

and perfect with it, I absolutely have a process. I wonder if that makes you a better golfer. Hopefully. I just if that makes you a better golfer. Hopefully. I just kind of picked it up this offseason, and it's rough right now. I played just before he came, and I was like 101. So getting there. Okay.

Yeah, I always wonder about the kicker, like the sound. Are you able to just, like, turn off the crowd noise or does it just, is it overwhelming or? Uh, you'd be surprised. You go out there and you're very focused on what you're doing. Can't really see, hear any of that stuff. Um, it's just a square. Exactly. After I kicked the ball, then kind of see it go through or don't go through it. I, then I'm like, Oh wow, this guy said that. The crowd was doing this. But while you're out there, you don't hear any of that or focus on any of it. That's so wild.

So coming from soccer, did you think, well, this will be easy. The ball's not moving. Absolutely. I did think that. And the only issue is the ball's a weird shape. Yeah. Absolutely. It's just easy.

No, it's all mental is the thing. It's just such a different challenge mentally. And the ball is moving. You only have 1.3 seconds to go kick it from the time it snapped. So by the time the guy – by the time Brian catches it and puts it down, it's probably been still for less than a tenth of a second before I kick it. So technically it is moving and you are still being an athlete because with as accurate as he is,

the spot is probably the size of a paperclip. So he's not going to hit that every single time. And you got to be just an athlete and make minor adjustments to change your form slightly. So MLS is done. You're now working in the real world. You think this ain't that great. So now you're waking up at 5.

You're exercising. Then you're doing your real job. Then you're going to a kicking coach. You do that for like two years, you say? Yeah. How does that ever lead to you getting in front of somebody who's got the contact with a team. Right. So once Brian Egan has taught me everything he knows,

he says the exact point like, hey, you look good, but I can't do anything for you in terms of connections. So he sent me out to San Diego where John Carney and Nick Novak really have a bunch of combines, Carney and Nick Novak really have a bunch of combines and they invite out NFL or USFL or XFL whatever the league is at the time whatever FL yeah they they invite them out and they can come watch kickers perform and they put it as a competition you get six field goals maybe six kickoffs you hit one you wait until everyone in the competition has hit one, then you go again.

And then you just see where you stack up against the other guys that think they have a shot or maybe have been in the league and are trying to get back in it. So I kind of call it a kicker circuit. There's maybe three or four major events like that every year that you go to that scouts will actually be at. How do you get in, though? Should I call and get in? four major events like that every year that you go to that scouts will actually be at how did you get in though like should i call and get in you for some of them you you call and then they're

like who are you and you got to come to their their whatever area and show them that you have the ability so okay you got to pitch them on it yep and then you got to go to maybe a camp and compete with a bunch of other guys that think they have the ability. So that's what you did. Yep. You're at the John Carney camp or whatever. Yep.

And you did well. I did well. Got invited to just the abridged version. Got invited to the USFL workout, which had like 30 kickers. They were going to sign, I think, maybe like 10 to 12 guys. And this is probably, if it's 30 kickers. They were going to sign, I think, maybe like 10 to 12 guys. And this is probably, if it's 30 kickers, you're talking 29 guys who probably have 10 years of experience kicking. Absolutely.

Yeah, recent college grads. Yeah, they're really good in college. Yeah, some guys that have just missed the mark. They were maybe in a training camp. They were maybe even on a team for a year or two, and then have been out of the league for a year just trying to fight their way back in it's a lot of really good kickers and at this usfl camp the usfl player director uh showed up and he had maybe 10 to 15 contracts to hand out um and i had a really good day um they liked my

story that was important to them as well so boy the really good day. They liked my story. That was important to them as well. Boy, the really good day thing is such a – It's crazy. Because kickers go through slumps, right? Yeah. So if that happens to be one of your bad days – Yeah, you've got to wait until next year or whatever the next year. You're in tech or IT or whatever. Or never.

Yes. Yeah, or never. Exactly. Yeah. Sorry, I interrupted you. It's crazy. Absolutely. You get judged on six kicks.

So it's tough. Did you hit them all? It's a very small sample size. I don't recall, to be honest. Okay. She says yes. Were you there? Jen, you were in the crowd?

Yeah. Okay. So I got the contract. Jen wants to add more pressure to you today? Like, hey, I'll be here. She was great, actually, because every single vacation we took in that time period was football-related, and she didn't mind.

She was a trooper and came out with me, and I was like, I guess I'll watch you kick footballs again today. Okay. So now you did very well there. They handed you a contract that day? Yes. And what's that contract? That contract is you're going to be in a pool of USFL players for the inaugural season draft.

No expectations of actually being picked because they, I think, had 18 kickers, 10 to 15 from that event. And then the rest were guys that they didn't need to see that they knew their names from previous NFL experience. So we're in that pool of players and each USFL team has one pick in a kicker draft. So I'm just sitting there watching it on Twitter because it's just refreshing Twitter. They just announced the picks on Twitter, and the last pick comes up, and it's the Birmingham Stallions. And my name pops across the timeline.

You were the last pick? Yeah. In the whole draft? Yeah. You were Brock Purdy. Pretty much. Yeah, so it just jumped out of my seat In the whole draft. Yeah. You were Brock Purdy. Pretty much. Yeah, so I just jumped out of my seat because I'm working from home in IT at that point, and I just screamed,

they picked me. So pumped. That's how that went. For the Birmingham Stallions. Yes. And then you would lead them to the championship. I don't know about lead, but I was definitely there. Two straight championships.

What's that contract then? So now you're with the Stallions. That's probably one-year deals, right? They actually signed us to two-year contracts. Everyone in the league got the same two-year contract. And at the end of it, obviously they've merged. So I'm not sure what their contract situations are now. Is it better than $35,000 a year?

Yeah, absolutely. A lot less work for a lot more money in terms of time. It's 10 weeks as opposed to the MLS, or I guess I shouldn't compare to the MLS, to the USL season, which was about 30 weeks. So a lot less work and more money for me. Okay. And then you did very well in the USFL. Yes.

And then how does that obviously now your your name is out there you're in a real football league and i guess the story like you said they liked your story that's kind of interesting right how did you know that um they mentioned it to me straight up to my when when they handed me the contract at Combine, they were like, we think you have a great story. You're the kind of player that we want in our league, somebody who hasn't been given a chance and looks the part, looks like they have the talent, but doesn't get an opportunity in the NFL for one reason or the other.

Not necessarily that I hadn't played football before, just that I had the talent and I hadn't gotten an opportunity in the NFL. They were trying to avoid as much as possible, just going for all retread players that were in the NFL, washed out, and were looking for another way back in. So they wanted a good, healthy mix of that. The guys that already had the name and have been in the NFL and guys that had never gotten a chance. How did they know your story? John Carney mentioned it to him. So John is great with this at his events. If somebody just spends the time to tell them their story,

he'll sit down with whoever's at his camp and tell them that story. So he was great for me. Okay. Man. All the steps that it takes. So now. It's crazy. Yes.

How do you end up in Cowboys training camp? That's the next step, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Had two good years at the USFL. Yeah. So after the first year in the USFL, I had a couple of workouts around the league. I think Seattle, Vegas, and Jacksonville.

Two of them went really well, and one of them wasn't so good. Which was bad. The Jacksonville workout, they had three kickers in. Actually, they had four kickers in. I did poorly, and they actually signed a guy that day. The other two workouts, I actually did really well, and they didn't sign anybody. If you don't mind me asking, what's a normal workout like for...

Just like the combines, it comes out to you get anywhere between 5 and 10 kicks. Extra point, then slowly ladder your way back down the field. Extra point, then you go 36 left, 39 right, 42 left, 45 right.

You just go back until whatever coaching staff feels like they have a feel for what your leg's like. And then you hit a couple kickoffs and maybe get a cup of coffee on your way out the door and then they'll call you. They think you did well. That's wild. Was this the Urban Meyer Jaguars?

No, it wasn't. Okay. Doug. Didn't he kick a kicker? Yeah, he did. He did kick a kicker. Did you know about that? Allegedly. Okay. He did kick a kicker. Did you know about that? Allegedly.

Okay. You didn't. Yeah, I mean, he kicked him. I don't know if I'd call it kick, but more like a – A little shove. A little foot shove. Yeah. So you had three kind of tryouts, not with the Cowboys.

Yes. That was like during the season? No, that was in the – Off season? Off season. Spring, right? Yeah, spring, right with the Cowboys. Yes. That was like during the season? No, that was in the – Off season? Off season. Spring, right? Yeah, spring, right before OTAs. And then went radio silent.

Do you have an agent at this time who is calling teams? Yes. He's calling them, trying to get me in the door, trying to get me signed. Did you hook up with that through John Carney too? No, I didn't. He actually contacted me while I was playing the USFL. I had an agent for soccer with a big agency, and I reached out to him asking for my career. After he saw me like week three in the USFL of my first season, he called me and goes, hey, let's get a contract on the table. Oh, he had to wait to see if you're shanking everything.

Yeah, exactly. Okay, so now you're working with your agent. He's the one that got you these tryouts, Seattle and whatnot. Yeah. But that's nothing. So now what is it? Spring, summer hits? Spring.

So then I watch the NFL season try and stay in shape in case the kicker goes down. And I'm first on the list, which for the teams that I worked out for, I was at least on their list. And those guys just never got injured. So, which that's a good thing. I want to put that out there. That's a good thing. You're not praying for, okay.

Sure. Yeah. So, then as time passes and now it's time to get ready for the USFL season two. Oh, okay. Yeah. We're still between, okay. Then you guys, you got to lead them to another championship. Yes.

Yeah. So. The emotional leader of the team. Yeah, right. yeah so um the emotional leader of the team yeah right um week three four i hear from cowboys um recruit recruiting what are they called scouts cowboy scout saying hey we think you're um performing well if you keep doing what you're doing we're going to bring you into training camp and give you a shot at uh making roster. No pressure there. Yeah, exactly. So a little bit of pressure in my back, which I think you might tell a player that and see

how they handle pressure. So with that in the back of my mind, just go out there and try and... That's a good point. Yeah. I think I'd want my kicker to be able to handle pressure. Yes. For sure. It's kind of the name of the game.

Yeah. Kicking for a roster spot pretty much every day. Do you know Ross? Was it Ross? Ross. He's a scout there. Big fan of the show. Yeah. Kicking for a roster spot pretty much every day. Do you know Ross? Was it Ross? Ross. He's a scout there. Big fan of the show. That fell flat.

No. So it's okay. Hey, you can't know everybody. No. So was that your dream too that the Cowboys would call? I mean, beggars can't be choosers, right? And the situation that I was in as a free agent playing in a USFL, any team will do. Anyone who wants to pay me to kick a ball, I'd try to sign up for it.

He was trying out for the Jaguars. Right, right, right. But if you could have said what's the best, you'd get one less than a half hour away from my house. Absolutely, yeah. No, the Cowboys is a dream come true for sure. Couldn't have turned it up. Brown's number two?

Ah, gosh. I don't know. Maybe New Orleans has got another dome team. Okay, yeah, let's stay inside. That's true, too. That's a good point. Get away from that lake effect in Cleveland. Okay, so the USFL season happens.

Everything goes well. When do you hear from the Cowboys? In fact, when is the USFL season and when does it end? It was mid-April to the beginning of July. Okay. So they kind of kept in touch with me throughout May all the way

through. Yeah. May all the way through the end of the season. And as soon as the season was over, they extended a contract to me and just rest history, just signed that and showed up at camp and tried my best to win the job now there's no guarantees with that contract right no absolutely not there's two kickers on on the roster at the point just go out there and who is that tristan viscano is the other kicker okay yeah um yeah so just every day going out there i'd kick one he

kicks one i kick one he that's got, I kick one, he kicks one. That's got to be weird. Yes. Because you're really good friends probably. You're both kickers. Spend a lot of time together. We were friends. Friendly.

Yeah, we were friendly with each other. But you also don't want him to do well. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Brian Anger was maybe a little upset with us for being too nice to each other. He's like, you guys should be at each other's throats. You're fighting over a million-dollar contract here. Yeah.

Okay, but he can't really affect my performance, and I can't affect his. Yeah. I still want him to do well. Just I'll do better. And so, yeah, how does training camp training camp go like how do you feel you're doing when did you know i think i'm gonna be the one yeah so training camp out in oxnard it's a tough place to kick i didn't have how come uh just a little bit of wind and you don't really notice it like you should down low um the wind isn't really there because you're kind of

covered up by a bunch of trees but it's right on the beach so there's a lot of wind coming through just up high above the tree line so as soon as your ball gets up above the tree line it just kind of takes off whichever direction the wind's blowing that day so it's kind of hard to judge um and then it's gusty too so sometimes it takes off sometimes it. Uh, so I didn't have the best performance the first week or two out there, um, when they still had, uh, Tristan. Um, but I think it was the second week I was there, they let go of Tristan, um, and Bones, Coach Fossil and Mike had both mentioned that I'm the guy that they're confident in me. So that gave me a little bit more confidence at that point.

I think I had my first perfect kicking session with the team. It was 9 for 9, and that was kind of the moment where I'm like, okay, I can do this. This can be my job. And then – So week two, they're like, you won the job. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Are you really surprised? I was surprised by how quickly they made the decision, absolutely, because we hadn't made it to a game. I thought'd have to go through yeah both of you get some shots yeah absolutely but um they wanted me to have every opportunity uh in preseason they didn't want one kicker to miss out on opportunities because the other guy got them and then they didn't keep them because each rep is incredibly valuable because they're so limited for kickers in a game situation so I think I really only had four or five field goals in the three preseason games we had so if I would have had to split those they would have been correct that would have been pretty detrimental so making that decision early was something that I think

Fossil really pushed for and that's the nice part about having an established coach who's really well respected the front office listens to him so it was good we love him man yes so much he's he's a godsend we love him so much does he have i don't want to jump out of order here if there is an order but is there a uh there's a fake in there where you run for the first down or you throw for the first down? Who caught one last year? Wasn't it Chauncey? Chauncey. Golsan.

Yeah. My job was just to pretend to kick the ball. Get out of the way. Okay. Yes. And don't get injured. That's awesome. Yeah, that's got to be a huge thing.

Yes. So they might not want to use you. No, and you have a bunch of athletes on the field, so you should probably put the ball in their hands instead of me. Yeah, okay. So there's no Brandon Aubrey throws a post. I mean, I can neither confirm nor deny. He was a receiver. That's right, yeah, okay.

Get that back corner fade. That's true, yeah, okay. So you go to your trainer for a couple years, and then you're introduced to Bones. What was that transition like? Because you say he's a godsendend i imagine he's the kicking whisperer or something like that so what was that transition like to him yeah so it's actually kind of the opposite with bones bones is so great because he doesn't try and mess with your your form he lets you go out there and do what you do and if you make a mistake in practice and we're going over it in film he looks at you and asks you

hey what'd you see here and then you explain it to him and he we're going over it in film, he looks at you and asks you, hey, what did you see here? And then you explain it to him and he'll put that in the back of his brain and if you make the same mistake again, he'll remind you of, hey, I think this is what you said last time, maybe focus on that in practice. But he never goes out there and messes with any specialist's form because each guy is a little bit different. And some coaches throughout the league may go out there and want you to be you know like a justin tucker go out there justin tucker's really

good why don't you just do what justin tucker does yeah i'm good luck three inches taller than justin tucker and he's got a really fast leg so it's like we were very different bodies so why try and turn me into him yeah so you can look at a kicker and evaluate why this guy is different than me, because I would look at him and you and say they're both pretty much the exact same. Kick, kick, kick, ball, throw. Yeah, exactly. Through the middle. Foreigners, right?

Yeah. You're really good at, like, I mean, just right in the middle, too. I try. Yeah, you're not... I'm aiming for one face in the crowd and like i missed a couple inches usually yeah i have a line usually it's not a face usually it's like a piece of the scoreboard or um in the cowboy stadium it says what it says at&t stadium in the background i'll aim for the t and that's about it i think goalposts should go higher

that would be nice. Do you agree with that? Yeah, absolutely. Because you never really know. If it goes above the goalpost, it does count. Maybe not. I feel like they should have lasers. Lasers? Yeah.

I'm serious. Right? Put a chip in the ball? Yeah, all the way to the roof. To the moon. No chip in the ball, though. Why not? It hurts your foot.

Yeah, throw it off a little. Yeah. Have you kicked a ball with a chip in the ball, though. Why not? It hurts your foot. Yeah, throw it off a little. Yeah, and carries it. Have you kicked a ball with a chip in it? Yeah, the USFL put a chip in their ball for the first season, and it was quite the controversy. A lot of kickers were having trouble getting it through the uprights because it just carried one way or the other based on which way the chip was because it was on the side of the ball.

So if you put it down with the chip on the left, it carried left. You put it down with the chip on the right, it carried right. Wow. So sometimes if you didn't have the best planning or your long snapper was a little inconsistent and he didn't orient the ball so it would be in a spot you knew where it was going to be, then you don't know which spot it is. Never would have thought of that.

But it does sound like a convenient excuse for you you know yes if you do miss hey it was the it was the chip it was the chip it wasn't me at all

I feel like he's like a scientist do you know what I mean yeah no I feel like that's why I asked if you're extra analytical just in other parts

of your life with just kicking yeah try and just enjoy the rest of life okay okay so you said you try to aim at the tee. I'm a big batting guy growing up, and I always loved kicking.

You've got an 11-mile-an-hour wind to the right. Maybe aim this way. Are you doing the same thing where maybe if there's some wind, you're aiming different? What's that game like, I guess? Yeah, we go out and practice or pregame and figure out which way the wind's blowing and how far back um it's going to start affecting your ball um usually that's at the end of the apex when it loses its velocity then it starts going one way or the other but uh for the

most part unless you're in like buffalo or philly where the wind's really blowing, it doesn't really affect it inside of like 45, 50 yards. So it'd only start really affecting you in those windy places. Okay. Do they ever pick like accepting the toss or whatever based on if the wind is blowing a certain way because they want it to go in the fourth quarter? Yeah, every game. I'd say the deciding factor on which way you want to go is the kickers,

which is not what you want to hear probably. Okay, so I guess they decide that at halftime? No, no, no. You defer until halftime. Yeah, and then you can pick. Okay. Yeah. Do you think block kicks should count as misses?

Because I don't – depends on the block. Was that your first miss? Yes. That wasn't a miss. It would have gone in the middle of the uprights, but that's why – That's the worst way ever. Sometimes the kicker kicks it too low, right? I know, but that wasn't kicked too low though.

Too low, too slow. You can be too slow to the ball. Like I said, 1.3 seconds is pretty much what you want to aim for. But that one was a good kick. It's a team game. We have 11 guys out there trying to make a field goal. It's so diplomatic. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just saying. Let's rip someone. That was an unfortunate way to have a streak end. Yeah, it was unfortunate, but kind of happy for it. Get it out of the way. Yeah, I went out and missed the next one anyway. You did. You did do that.

You missed, it seemed like extra points were tougher than like 50-yard field goals for you. Yeah, most of the ones I missed early. Your first miss was the first extra point of the year, right? Yep, Cowboys fans were like, we're never going to make another extra point. Yeah, no. That wasn't filling us with a lot of confidence.

Yeah. It was good. What were you thinking then? Was I thinking then? Yeah, when you missed that first extra point. Wrapping my toe around it. Don't do that next time. Okay.

That's about it. Scientist. Did the sudden change have anything to do with it? Yes. It did. That's an excuse. Did the sudden change have anything to do with it? Yes, it did. That's an excuse, but I was sitting there just sipping a cup of water,

watching Deneau go out to kick a field goal. His gets blocked, and I'm like, oh, awesome. And then they're running it back for a touchdown. I'm like, oh, that means I have to do something. I've got to find my helmet. Yeah, go find my helmet and then sprint onto the field. So if the offense is on a drive, you're over there kind of warming up, thinking, okay.

And that was the first drive of the game for the Giants. So I had kicked a ball since the pregame warm-up. So it had been about 30 minutes since I kicked a ball. And I know I wasn't in the right mental spot for that. And then it's my debut. It's like first kick in the debut. So, yeah, probably the only kick I actually felt a little bit of pressure all year. And I just hit it horribly, to be honest.

You didn't feel pressure on those like 59, 60-yarder? No, not at all. Those are the ones you're really looking forward to because no one's really expecting you to make it. You probably have a 50 50 window of what people think if you make 50 of those they'd be happy yeah normal humans do you had 100 this year yeah uh so those are the ones i'm looking forward to so like if anything i get a little bit excited and i gotta tone down the excitement it's like the the 23 26 yard ones that might

cause a little bit more panic. So I always feel for the kicker, you know, game-winning drive or whatever, it'll show you warming up, career-long 57, field goal, target line, you know, all that. And in that moment, I feel really bad for you because the game could come down to you. But you, as an athlete, are you kind of excited in that moment? A little bit. It's just another kick.

I try to, again, just really stay nice and calm. Don't focus on it. Try to not remember what the score is and go out there and just focus on the process. Take your steps and make good contact with the ball. It should go through the uprights just like any other kick. Is that conversation before the game of, hey Bones, I think I can make 64 today? Is that a conversation before every game? Yeah, absolutely.

You've got your target line. You just want to keep them informed if you feel comfortable from this range, but you're all attempt one from this range. Those two lines are usually game winning line and just got to have it field goal line. Let's talk about the new kickoff rule. What do you think? It's exciting. It's something new and it'll save a couple

years off on my leg if we're landing it between the goal line and the 20 yard line. I'm excited about that because kickoffs are probably what age your leg the most. You're putting your whole body into it and you're trying to send it to the moon. I'm excited. I might have to make a few tackles, but it'll be fun.

That's right. How's that? Have you ever made a tackle? I made four tackles in my first year of the USFL and two in my second. Okay. Yeah. It's not fun, but- But you don't have an NFL tackle.

I don't, no. Hopefully, we can keep it that way. That means the's not fun, but. But you don't have an NFL tackle. I don't, no. Hopefully we can keep it that way. That means the coverage team is doing great. Have you worked on it at all? No. Like, what's the move? Like, is it just a kick it as. Worked on tackling or worked on.

No, no, no. The action zone. Okay. The 20 and goal line. Oh, yeah. The 20 and goal line. As high as you can. Well, hang time is probably irrelevant now, too,

because no one can move until you catch the ball. Okay. Yeah, I guess that's true. So you're just aiming for a specific point on the field? So we'll work that out with Bones in training camp, and he'll give me whatever he wants, and I'll go and do it to the best of my ability. But it'll be interesting.

I think you kind of want the ball on the ground, if I have a guess. Yeah, because you don't want it to roll through the end zone, right? If it bounces and rolls into the end zone, that's a good thing. It comes out to the 20. Okay. If it just lands in the end zone, it comes out to the 35. Okay. So getting it on the ground would be a huge win,

but that's going to be hard with two returners back there. That's so wild. It looks cool. Such a wild change. Like, I'd be worried if I were you about, like, nailing one of my coverage team in the back of the – Oh, gosh. If I'm doing that, I'm fired.

That's such a low ball. But it's just not that much room for error. Yeah. Well, it's 20 yards. It's 20 yards by 50-something yards. Yeah, but you're used to just – Huge spot. Like you said, just kicking it to the moon.

Yeah, but as a soccer player, you're used to having to pass it in a certain place. Absolutely. Yeah, and it's a huge target, just 20 by 50-yard boxing. The worst case, you don't hit the exact blade of grass your coach asked you to hit. So you're guaranteeing perfect season on this. I am not guaranteeing that. Oh, okay. Things do go wrong.

Do you know how to do a watermelon kick? A watermelon kick is that – you'll have to explain that to me because there's different terms for different – I think it was two years before you got here. It was a bones play. Break the leg, right? Yeah. We hit that one in the Green Bay game.

Exactly. Yeah. We hit it in the Green Bay Yeah. We hit that one in the Green Bay game. Exactly. Yeah. We hit it in the Green Bay game. I think it went in the playoff game. I went through the guys trying to catch his hands and his legs, but it was a little bit too much mustard on it. It went straight to the designated catcher. I can't imagine you practice that a lot.

You'd be surprised. That one doesn't really hurt my leg. I just put the bag down where I want and you know i just put the the bag down where i want it to go and just kick the full bag of balls over to it and then just flip it around and do it again it's it's fairly like you can do that all day and you won't wear out your leg feels like you could get bored as a as a kicker during the week like how much you can't wear out your leg you're not really filmed a lot, right? You're not really breaking down the opposing whatever.

Yeah. I don't know how much I should say, but, yeah, I hit about 10. I think you should say a lot right here. I hit about 10 team reps for field goal in a week. That's about it. Bones knew I was coming off of a long USFL season, so I didn't have to hit any kickoffs in practice all year, which saved my leg. Probably the reason I was able to get through two football

seasons back to back healthy. Um, but yeah, there's not a lot of work to do. That's why each rep is so important. You got to take them incredibly seriously. You got to follow your process and treat them like a game. But after that, you go and watch the film real quick, and you sit in on the special teams meetings, which you don't have much to watch there. You're watching the teamers go out and work their butts off. But, yeah, practice is nice and quick and simple,

and you've just got to make the most of your limited opportunities. But you're there like all day. I mean, you don't have to be the first one in the building and the last one to leave, right? No, we're out of there like an hour and a half before the non-specialists, the real football players, we're out of there nice and early. How's the food? How's the cafeteria? It's incredible.

It really is. I assume so. Yeah, it's incredible. Are you taking food home, like leftovers? Yes, we take home food for me, for Jen. Okay, yeah. It's encouraged. They want to make sure we get the calories we need and the nutrition we need.

They want us to be able to perform. When did Jerry know your name? He knew my name on my first day out there. Kind of. His first words to me when we were going out for our first team rep, me and Tristan, he looked at us and

for lack of a better phrase, just said, don't fuck it up. He was joking, obviously. He didn't mention that. Obviously, you guys are here for a reason. We think you'll have the talent to run away with the job, go out there and perform. That's the gist of it. We've talked to a couple people that played for Dallas,

and they're just like, man, he just makes you feel very confident. Yes. For whatever people say about him, media-wise, whatever, he just makes you feel like he cares. And he's on your team, which is weird. Yeah, no. Everybody loves Jerry. Yeah, just everybody we've talked to that's played for him just loves him.

And I've never interacted with him and not loved it. No. He's awesome. He's a great guy. And he went out and after the Raiders preseason game, which was our final preseason game. I made the 59-yard field goal. He said, oh, it looks like we found a kicker.

And that's something that gave me a lot of confidence going into the season as well. Yeah. Man, that's so awesome. Yeah, then this year, God, you get bored with just setting records. So, most consecutive field goals made to start a career You set that record when you hit your 19th, right? Yeah And then you almost doubled that

Like you're trying to put that out of reach Absolutely 36 straight field goals The two field goals, 59 plus in the same game That's a record. No one has ever had 10 50-plus yards without a miss before you. So that's no big deal. Most kickoffs for touchbacks, I guess that's a product, too,

of having a really good offense. You're kicking off a lot. Yeah. Did you have any that weren't touchbacks? I had nine. 99 touchbacks and nine that were not touchbacks. Okay. I don't even remember.

It just seemed like every time you kicked off, it was a touchback. No, yeah. Which was your – That's snack time. Marching orders, right? Absolutely, and that's something that can't be overstated. Because some teams will try to like, hey, I want to kick it right to the one or something. Exactly. They want a directional kick, which is like outside the numbers

between the five and the goal line, make the team return it if you've got confidence in your coverage team versus their kickoff team. But we didn't want to risk injuries, and we have the ability to go pin them at the 25 every time, so might as well just do that. Yeah, just amazing. to go pin them at the 25 every time, so might as well just do that. Yeah. Just amazing. And then you make the Pro Bowl.

Well, make the Pro Bowl. I was going to say All-Pro, though. That's the one. One guy makes the All-Pro. Did you have any kind of bonus in your contract for that? No. Sadly. Because they would have given it to you.

Yeah. Okay, sure. Yeah, whatever, dude. Whatever, yeah. $5 million, yeah, if you're an all-pro kicker. Yeah, wow. Maybe you should have been my agent. Yeah, well. I'm not that good at it.

I'm sitting above a garage. Yeah, we. And after our negotiation with our radio station, we ended up here. Yeah. Yeah, just your guy's probably good. Yeah. Where was the Pro Bowl played? It was in Orlando. Okay, well, that's not good. Yeah. Where was the Pro Bowl played? It was in Orlando.

Okay, well, that's not great. Yeah, it was fun. Not as great as Hawaii, you know. We got to go to Universal. Or not Universal. It was Universal. I get the theme parks mixed up. See Jaws?

We did see the replica of Jaws there. Well, yeah. No, I know there's not an actual shark. replica of Jaws there. Well, yeah. No, I know there's not like a real shark. There's not an actual shark. So what do you do?

Do you actually in the off season? Like, do you want to rest my leg all the time? You can't totally rest for two months, right? Do you kick every day?

What's your deal there? Oh, so I actually had appendicitis, which was fun. Got that out, but got it out of the way in the offseason, thankfully. When do you know that? The day before the week of the Pro Bowl, I had it.

That just hit you out of nowhere? Yep. Doubled over in pain, just fetal position, all that. But they wanted to take it out. Were you guys together? Yes. Okay, so that's good. All three of us actually all

right which is interesting we were um actually i think you need to call 9-1-1 yeah is that what the com no they i slept it i tried to sleep it off but jen made me go to the hospital the next day which was smart um they wanted to take it out that day but obviously that would have kept me out of the pro bowl so i'm like no we went um and got some antibiotics and had a course of antibiotics for 10 days so it would calm down enough for me to get through the pro bowl then so you're fighting through pain yeah through the pro bowl yeah okay well i mean fighting i kicked three balls at a tic-tac-toe and then i was done oh okay that's right now's right. Now it's flag football and everything.

Yes, yeah. Although Baker Mayfield destroyed, didn't he? Absolutely. Thank God. Got us back in the W column, which is awesome. What's he like? Did you meet him? Yeah, he's awesome.

Dan's obsessed. Yeah. Forgot. Cleveland guy. Yeah. Yeah, you know. Growing up around here. Come on.

He's Baker Mayfield. Yeah. But yeah, got it out when I got back from the Pro Bowl. Good to go now. Okay. Do you have it, like, in a jar? No. Keep it.

All right. Well, thanks for being here. Absolutely. It's pretty cool that you did come. Maybe he actually did want to join us. I think he was talking to us. He doesn't seem too beaten. No, it was fun. Yeah. Well, you're not leaving. No, I mean, we don't want you join us. I think he was talking to her. He doesn't seem too beaten. No, it was fun.

Yeah. Well, you're not leaving. No, I mean, we don't want you to leave. I mean, I suppose you can. You can if you want.

Yeah, if you want to leave. I just didn't want to take a break just yet. I wanted to do, do you mind if we do a couple birthdays and stuff or just do some stuff?

Let's see here. Is that a question for Brandon? I don't know. Here. I was going to read a quick viewer mail. Hey, everybody. It's time to answer some of today's see here. Is that a question for Brandon? I don't know. Here. I was going to read quick viewer mail. Hey, everybody.

It's time to answer some of today's viewer mail. And besides Brandon Aubrey, I'm not sure what else is on the program. Are you Nickname Butter? Yes. Smooth or? That's a Dak thing. Yeah, Dak gave it to you, right? After the chargers game

did you ever give you that 200 he did yeah i got this wedding ring from that oh really good what was that um so my kicking coach brian egan was uh roommates with dac in college he's the kicker for um mississippi state yeah okay mississippi state yeah i just want to get that Mississippi State? Yeah. Okay, Mississippi State. Yeah, just want to get that wrong. But he showed up to one of my kicking sessions with Brian with another kicker. He had a bet with the kicker that he couldn't make

10 field goals or something like that, 9 out of 10. He didn't do it, and I just happened to be there, and he gave me the same bet, and I did it. So he gave me the $200, and got a wedding ring. You got a wedding ring for $200 and got a wedding ring. You got a wedding ring for $200? Yeah. Nice titanium. Oh, your wedding ring.

Yeah. I had a silicon one at that point from playing soccer. I broke my finger playing soccer, so a real one wouldn't fit over. Now the swelling's gone enough that a real one fits over it. Josh emails us,

SportsFuror, I have another birthday of a good dumb F that falls on a business Wednesday. Happy Jackie Robinson birthday to Zach Groover. He's a day one-er.

42? Dan? Oh, yeah. He's been retired everywhere. It's a bad bid, Brandon. I just want to I want all people to be viewed as just people.

I don't think we need to pretend that we've ended racism just because we Again, you can leave whenever you want. You don't want to be a part of this. Well, wait until I tell your father-in-law my dream for being on an airplane. Although he probably knows it, right?

You know that I want to be the only survivor of a plane crash? You haven't heard that one? No. Well, then we won't say it. I don't want to be it, but if it were to happen, it'd be pretty interesting, wouldn't it? No. Well, then we won't say it. I don't want to be it, but if it were to happen, it'd be pretty interesting, wouldn't it?

Yeah. Hopefully you're not with any family on the flight. That's... Yes, that's true. That's a really good point, Randy. See, no one else has ever thought of that.

Let's see. Zach Groover, he also quit his well-paying job with no plan for replacing that income. But unlike you guys, his former employer chose not to sue him. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. More Haralabob, less Sarah Heppela, because in his words, women are meant to be seen, not heard. That's from Josh. Okay. That's a strong opinion, Josh.

Those are Zach Groover's words, though. Okay. Fair. And I certainly don't. I suppose. I don't share that opinion while a woman is here with us. No?

No. Dumb boys. Do you get nervous when he's lining one up? Of course. Does it ever go away? It doesn't, does it? Yeah.

What did you think when he missed his first extra point? Yeah, grab that mic for a sec. Who blew the block? Yeah, were you thinking this is over now? No, honestly, I've heard from a couple of former pro kickers that they also missed their first kick. So, you know, I thought it was par for the course.

And I know that he's very mentally tough, so I thought he could definitely turn it around, and he did just that. So it worked out. Now, do you have superstitions, stuff you do, and you know that he's very mentally tough so I thought he could definitely turn it around and he did just that so it worked out now do you have superstitions stuff you do and you think that affects him um I don't the only thing I try and do is during his kick I say the same phrase over and over again like trying to will the ball through the uprights so I'll do that every time but other than that you going to share that phrase? Should I? Yeah.

Okay. I just say end over end straight down the middle. Like the ball of flight traveling. As if you're saying that and it will somehow find its way into the ball. Yeah. Yeah. And the ball will hear that. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. For reference, in the USFL, every time I missed a kick, she goes, I just knew you were going to miss that one. No. In the USFL, every time he lined up, I was like, oh, he's going to make this. And then the two times I thought, oh no, he might miss, he missed. So then I decided, okay, I'm not going to ever think, oh no, he might miss. Okay, because it was you. Before a kick.

It was your fault. Oh yeah, it was all my fault. Do you have superstitions? I don't have superstitions, no. Okay. No, I got to eat the same thing. No, absolutely not. No.

Okay. Do you know Chinese? I do. That's impressive. That's not really like a language. Mandarin, Chinese. I just saw you were a Chinese major. Yep, at Notre Dame.

I thought that was impressive. Thank you. Even though it's not a language. We were talking to her, and I was trying to get her involved. Yeah, how do you major in Chinese if Chinese isn't a language? So it's technically Mandarin Chinese because there's different dialects. So Chinese is, you know, not an official name. There's like Cajun Chinese.

Cantonese. Cajun Chinese. Yeah, no, the reason I ask that is because I've told these guys before, like my brother played football at Tulane before they built an actual stadium. And they played in the Dome. And he was a quarterback. And just listened to the other parents be like, he's going to throw one into coverage.

Like it was just. Oh, yeah. And especially if you're a kicker's family. Yeah, exactly. And I just remember thinking about the kicker family. Like, oh, that has got to be tough. They say some funny stuff up there while you're kicking, but don't hear it until after you kick.

Yeah. I'm sure. Do you hear from any fantasy football players, or kickers are pretty? They DM you quite frequently and liberally i'll say that yeah okay are you still fantasy guy uh no not anymore um once i got into the uh usfl i stopped playing okay i thought it was about probably about time don't want to i don't know the legality of all of it so i just say stay away from it he He just lives it now. It appears that there are other people who don't really know the legality of it.

Just decide, well, let's try doing it. Yeah. Were you good? Fantasy player? I was obsessive. I don't know if good was the right word. Like this guy lost his league twice in a row. Well, Brandon, you know, sometimes you can be unlucky. 12 out of 12, though.

He works in sports. You could fall into 10th place. Yeah. An injury here, an injury there. Le'Veon Bell holds Alford. He had to get his nipple pierced as the losing. Seriously? The losing number of the league.

You guys are brutal. Yeah, both of them. Yeah. Let's see. One nipple pierced one year. Other nipple pierced the other year? No. So I just had to get one pierced one year, other nipple pierced the other year? No. So I just had to get one pierced, but to get two years of insurance from last place punishments,

I got the other one pierced as well. Yeah. And I believe his other punishment was a full back window Justin Bieber, right? I had Justin Bieber on the back of my car for six months. Yeah. I'd rather get my nipple pierced. No, you wouldn't. Painful? Oh my gosh.

Yes. I mean, your shirts would hurt. I'd sit here and hold my shirt like this. Yeah, we could kind of see it. Yeah, they could see it. I had a purple diamond on it. Did you let your friend do it? In the first place, get to do it? No, no, no, no. No. That would have been a great No. No, no, no.

That would have been a great celebration. That would have been horrible. So this email is from Brian. He says, bonjour. Excuse me. Go check about 155 into Friday, March 29th show when you were talking about the

105-year- old in Fort Worth. So I went and found that audio. I'll play it for you right now. There's a guy in Fort Worth who's 105 years old and the reason he was in the news... Do you know? Okay.

He was in the news because what? He has seen 12 eclipses. You guys stoked about the path of totality? Next Monday will be his 13th eclipse. You guys going to be here in town? Yeah. He's leaving town.

Wow. I heard it's supposed to be good in the Dallas area. Nice, clear view of it. Of the eclipse? Yeah. It's just going to get dark. Yeah? Yeah.

Not excited? You're a jerk! No! It's amazing! It's not going to happen again. Super excited. Anywhere in the United States this guy has seen it 13 times.

Yep. 20 years it will be until your kid will be 22, 33 years old until And he'll think it's super awesome then too. Man, you're an idiot. until your kid will be 22, 33 years old until... And he'll think it's super awesome then, too. Man, you're an idiot. Oh, hey, look.

The sun. Oh, it's blocked. All right, let me play some audio from last Friday's show. Okay. And I didn't know we had a 105-year-old living in Fort Worth. There can't be many. Men, either. Men, especially, yeah.

Right. We always have it the toughest. That's what they call an octogenarian. Yeah, I know. I'm watching some show. There's some little series. And it's about... They call them the blue zones on the planet,

where people live the longest. Yeah, I've heard of that. Okay. So, Brian, who emailed, says, An octogenarian describes someone in their 80s, hence octo. Someone over the age of 100 is a centenarian. What's nine? He says, maybe that's not commonly known.

I don't know, but it was a terrific dumb zone moment, and it's why you all are my leaders. From DF Brian, in parentheses, a top five Aggie name. Gig'em. Brian is a top five Aggie name. That's, yeah. So we did screw that up, but what is the 90s called?

Well. Octogenarian. We've all heard. If you think I know that, when I was the one boldly saying octogenarian is, I swear that Blue Zone show keeps talking about octogenarians, and then they go,

hey, this lady's 100. And so I just put that all together. When you get older, Brandon, you start watching shows about how to live longer. Well, if you're 90 or 100, are you an octogenarian? A 90 or whatever the 90 word is? Yeah, you're that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're also a teenager.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. You're also a toddler. Yeah. Right? Yeah. You're also a toddler. You rack them all up. All right. Well, that's viewer mail for today. So I'll abruptly stop that music.

My one other kind of little sports thing that I have for today. Mm-hmm. Oh, actually, I might have two. How about that Stefan Diggs news? That's pretty crazy, man. Are you following all this? Do you follow the NFL? To the Texans?

Yeah. Yeah, that's good trade. Good trade for? Texans. You get a good play. Just for the world. Okay, yeah. No, it's for the world.

No, that'd be sweet if the Cowboys... Oh, Cowboys didn't sign many free agents and stuff, but they did re-sign the long snapper. Is that important to you? Massively important. Very happy for that. How long have you been there? Trent?

This will be his second year. Because, you know, they had LP for like... LP Lattesur? 18 years. A long time. And then Jake for a while after that. I guess I don't remember him. That's a good gig if you can get it.

Absolutely. They seem to hold on to it for a while too. Yeah. Seems kind of... In fact, it's probably the best gig. Backup quarterback? Third string quarterback? You might go in there and get blown up, you know? Yeah.

Punter? Jen always says punter, yeah. Yeah. Have you ever tried that? Yeah. I have tried punting. It's very different from kicking. I mean, it's not super different because you're still making contact with your foot,

but completely different swing, straight up and down versus all hips diagonal through the ball. You hadn't even considered that when you met with the kicking coach? No, I want to score points. My favorite part about soccer was scoring goals. Okay. I feel like punting has got to be more dangerous. Just getting run into or whatever? Yeah, like just the full Superman dive.

Yeah, I saw – did you guys see the Tennessee kicker this year? Got destroyed on two, or punter rather, got destroyed on two punts in the same game. I guess not. You gotta watch that. That's unlucky. Stonehouse is his name. Who's it, Tennessee? Tennessee. But I know that you guys had like Sam

Williams on punt block. Yeah, he's scary. And I'm like, dude, that's a different animal yeah and da the same why yeah crazy what do they do to try to simulate like how do they try to simulate pressure in practice they run their stunts but they just stay off the punter so like they'll run right in bangers face but let's make sure they're not enough away from it. I mean, for you, like, to simulate pressure.

Because that's got to be difficult to do in practice. I mean, in practice, I get five reps in front of the whole team. Everyone's there. Jerry's in his tower watching. The pressure's there just by the fact that I'm kicking in front of the team. And I only get five reps. So, if I miss one, 80%, that's terrible. You obviously want to make all of your kicks

so the pressure is probably more in practice than it is on the games. You know it's coming. You have five back-to-back-to-backs. You never have a chance to regather your composure. Do they move it around? Yep. It starts at the extra point every time

and then from there it goes wherever the special teams coach feels like. Where do you like it? Like middle hash mark with one of the hash marks? The hashes are nice because you have a reference point for where the ball should be for the holder. And for myself, then I can play more left if I'm on the right hash. Okay, because some guys that are trying to get in field,

they'll hand it off once just to get to the left side. Yeah, absolutely. For a right-footed kicker, traditionally, if you're kicking a short field goal, you want to be in the left hash. If you're kicking a long field goal, you want to be in the right hash. Because it carries. Just when you

really pull through a ball, you're going to pull it a little bit left. And when you're hitting a nice, easy kick, you're probably going to hit the left panel a little bit, so it'll push a little bit right. Do you you're hitting a nice easy kick um and you you're probably gonna hit the left panel a little bit so it'll push a little bit right do you get beaten by kicking talk when like somebody meets you at a neighborhood party or something and so and they start is that a beating to you um it can be but sorry i'm not very recognizable i'm just a normal looking dude so most of the time it doesn't happen. You don't get stopped a ton?

No. Going out to Central Market or whatever? No. There's one restaurant in the Collierville area that they all know who I am, the wait staff, but other than that, it's not too frequent. It happens every once in a while. Do you wear your jersey to Tom Thumb on Sunday to get it? Yeah.

I need to start. 20% off. How many jerseys do you have of mine yeah probably like eight eight of them

get a lot of lot of sweet gear right yeah absolutely but it's weird to wear cowboy gear around if you're a cowboy I would think yes

try to avoid it as much as possible unless I'm working out or around the house. Do these guys wear your jersey tee or something at games so everybody knows that they're the Aubreys? Jen definitely wears the jersey. I'm not sure what Brent wears.

I wear a cowboy's gear, but not necessarily yours. Gotcha. But your parents definitely do. Anything to get him out of his chief's gear. Oh, really? I have a chief story here. Yes. And it was sent to us by literally a million people on Twitter.

Yes. Are you on Twitter? I saw you're on the gram. I'm not on Twitter. I think I have a Twitter account, but I've never really posted on it. Do you have people to run your social? No, I don't. That's when you really made it. Yeah, absolutely.

Sports Mayor. Have you gotten the Sports Mayor message? Oh, yeah. Sports Mayor is at it again. That's the Mayor of Dallas. We call him Sports Mayor because we're not sure what he does besides tweet about sports. Yesterday, there was a story that said the Chiefs,

the Kansas City Chiefs, lose their stadium renovation vote, leaving their future in doubt. So apparently they put it to the taxpayers, and so the possibility that they could vote whatever, the sales tax through, and then they will renovate Arrowhead Stadium. Well, they did not pass that. And so now they're kind of scrambling. What are we going to do?

And Sports Mayor says, welcome home, Dallas Texans. He quote tweeted that. And then he says, hashtag Cotton Bowl, as if he's trying to say, hey, Chiefs, move back to Dallas. Because he literally talked to Jerry about it a couple years ago where he said, I think Dallas has the infrastructure. To support two teams. Yeah, to get two teams in here. We got the money and all that kind of stuff. Wouldn't that be great?

Hashtag Cotton Bowl. You feel like an NFL team would want to upgrade their scene by going to the Cotton Bowl? I don't. I don't. I feel like just about every NFL stadium would be...

You'd be looking at a downgrade to go to the Cotton Bowl. Love the nostalgia, but nobody's moving to the Cotton Bowl. Like we had a chance to have the Cowboys at the Cotton Bowl. Yeah. Back in, or yeah, I mean they were at the Cotton Bowl. They were there 60 years ago. Anyway.

Yeah, that's sports mayor for you. That's all he does. That's all he does. That's all he does. Are you hanging for the rest of the show or no? If you need to leave, then... I don't got anywhere to be. Okay, great. Then we're going to take a break.

All right. The Dumbs Up. How do you like these numbers for a kicker? Brandon Auburn. How about that? He's having historically the greatest season by a kicker ever, and we'll get into it as the game goes on. I'm not talking about him. Listen.

We're not doing it. Well, we have to show it. We're going to show it, and we're going to leave it be. 32-yard attempt from Auburn. It's up, and it's blocked. Washington scoops it up with room to roll. James Whitaker's got it with a convoy

down the sidelines he goes. Still in bounds and finally taken out. I told you we're staying away from it. We are not being the jinx. We are not having Cowboy fans come after us for what's been a historic season. And staying out of it. Oh my gosh. You're listening to The Dumb Zone.

You're listening to The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. A strange bird is the pelican.

His bill holds more than his belly can. He can take in his beak enough food for a week. I'm damned if I know how the hell it can. Okay. That was some Hood County breaking news. No puppet! Do you go back and watch the games at all? No.

Never? Nope. I haven't seen any of the broadcasts. That's the first time I've heard that clip. Really? Yeah. That's how annoying he is all the time. He's actually great.

No. Greg Olson? Yeah. Yeah. I'm a fan. He's not bad. I'm glad he's being replaced. What do you do on the bye week?

Do you watch NFL games? Yeah. I watch all the prim being replaced. What do you do on the bye week? Do you watch NFL games? Yeah, I watch all the primetime games. So the bye week, we just... You got to monitor your wagers. Don't have any of those. He doesn't bet. That was a joke. Yeah.

We stayed in town, and I think I kicked once and just got a little bit of rest. Much needed rest. Just go out, drill one, and go back inside? Absolutely. My work here is done. Do you hang out socially with Brian Anger, too? Absolutely.

And Trent. Long snapper Trent. Yeah, so that's a... I guess that's a weird dynamic because Jen was saying she'll sit next to Brian Anger's wife in the stands, and like, so you guys are all... The segregation is all across the board.

Like, I wonder if, you know, defensive backs, wives hang out with each other. Absolutely, yeah. Is that how it works? Yep, you get your position groups. Microphone there, Blake. Oh, sorry. At the games, definitely, I think the wives sit together.

I mean, a lot of us have family there, but kind of the O-line sits all together. Special team sits together. Yeah, we're all good friends. Now, where do the mistresses sit? No comment. Across the... Oh, okay.

That's good. That's great stuff. I know you're gonna do this sometime so I wanna prepare these guys okay have you been approached yet for a Dude Perfect video I have not

that'd be cool though you'd do it though wouldn't you yeah absolutely what's wrong with Dude Perfect nothing these guys hate Dude Perfect oh gosh I like Dude Perfect I'm a fan I used to with Dude Perfect? Nothing. These guys hate Dude Perfect. Oh, gosh.

I like Dude Perfect. I'm a fan. I used to watch Dude Perfect with my kids. Yeah, hate is a really strong word. Okay. I just think, I think... You know he's going to do it. I think what Brian does is much more impressive. Or, excuse me, Brian and Brandon do.

Like, I feel like actually playing sports and actually kicking the ball in live action. I know, but they'll always get them involved. Let's try to hit the... Can you do... Trick shot? But if you try to hit the upright, how many out of 10 can you do it? How far am I?

I don't know. What's your favorite? What's the 35 yard? Is that a... 35 yards from the uprights or the 35 yard line? Gosh darn it. You have a lot of questions, don't know. What's your favorite? What's the 35-yard? Is that a – 35 yards from the uprights or the 35-yard line? Gosh, darn it. You have a lot of questions, don't you? What's your favorite place to kick from, like the most accurate that you can be? Favorite place to kick is on the football field. Okay.

You're just being a jerk. Sorry. 40 yards. 40 yards. You're at the 35-yard line. You're at the 30-yard line. That's a 40-yard kick, right? Yes. At the 30-yard line. You're at the 30-yard line. That's a 40-yard kick, right? Yes, at the 30-yard line.

Is that a pretty easy kick for you? To hit the upright? No. What's your best kick, and then how many times can you hit it? So I warm up aiming at the uprights with my one-steps, which are just taking one step and kicking the ball from about 22 yards from the upright, and I'll hit it about one in every three kicks.

Can you make a field goal kicking a kickoff? Yes. I did that a couple times this year in AT&T Stadium. Oh, really? I think like maybe like 10 times. So what is that, 65, 68 yards? It's 65 yards to the end zone, so another 10 would be 75. Damn.

Does Brian Anger hate that scoreboard? He loves watching young punters come in and they all try and hit it in warm-ups so that gets them off of their normal game. They're trying to just hit the highest possible ball they can, and he thinks it's funny watching them. Like from the other team? Yeah, from the other team.

Okay. Yeah, but he can hit it at will. Yeah. I just figure punters actually hate it, but they don't want to say it because Jerry loves it and stuff. Looks cool on TV. Yeah. Have you ever been to a Cowboy game when you're not playing?

Yeah. Was it 2017 I think I went to? I watched the Cowboys play the Buccaneers in like week 16 or 17. They needed to win the game to go to the playoffs. And they won. So I don't remember what year that was. But actually Brent got me the ticket. It was my first ever NFL game. He got me the ticket for Christmas or my birthday. I think it was Christmas. And now you've had to return the favor. Yes. Do you have to get a ton of tickets since you're from here, like every game? Not a ton, but, yeah, a good handful. Like friends and all that that you hadn't heard from in a while?

I just honestly say no. Do you really? I tell them because they're expensive. I don't get them for free. I tell them I can get you tickets at this value, and then if they pay me for them, then sure, I'll get it for them. Then they hang up and they're MFing you off the air like, Oh, my God, this guy, billionaire athlete, wants to charge me for tickets. $750,000 air.

Okay. And then, of course, we do have an agent. Right? Sure. We get those fees. We get taxis and all that kind of stuff. Mortgage. Mortgage.

Kids? One on the way, but none yet. Oh, okay. Way to go. Thank you. What's a little Dak, little Des? What are we naming? Is it a boy?

Mm-hmm. Okay. Can I say the name? Martine. Let's release it right here. She says, Voss says no. You what? We might change it.

Oh, we might change it? Like, you know, we're not 100% sure. Well, wouldn't this be interesting time capsule, though, to go back and look and see, Remember when I was going to name it? It's got to come out of her mouth. I'm not saying it. Okay, we'll keep the microphone here for you. Just in case.

Well, it was going to be Rudy, but then you just shit all over that. That's right. You did do that. I'm not a Rudy fan. And you've never seen the movie Rudy. I haven't. And you went to Notre Dame. I thought that's a prerequisite to get into Notre fan. And you've never seen the movie Rudy. I haven't. And you went to Notre Dame. I thought that's a prerequisite to get into Notre Dame.

No, I just saw the campus. I'm like, wow, this place is gorgeous. And the soccer team was great. And school was good. So yeah, that's a no-brainer for me. Okay, but you didn't grow up stoked wanting to go to Notre Dame like Jen did. No, I did not. Just happenstance and good place to be.

60% of my school paid for? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's got to be pretty high dollar. Yeah. You ever go to the linebacker? I did. Jen's dad nods. Yes, that's high dollar.

Very high dollar. Linebacker is not high dollar. No, no, it's not. It's not high dollar. All right. Want to do some news and stuff? Sure, sure, sure. All right. Here's Jake. That's Jake. Alright, want to do some news? Sure. Sure, sure.

Here's Jake. That's Jake. Do we have to reset? I don't think so. Do you recognize that voice? The Halo God guy? Oh gosh, yeah. You a Halo guy?

I played a lot of the first Halo and then Halo 2 and then after that not so much. But I loved that first game. I remember growing up, I was never really a soccer fan but I loved FIFA. Yeah, that's a great game. I was obsessed. What was y'all's team? I would play with Barcelona.

I was a Barca guy. Yeah. Just whatever. Whatever. Yeah. I would just playca guy. Yeah. Just whatever. Whatever. Yeah. I would just play with buddies back home. How's your gaming scene now? Non-existent?

In season, it doesn't really exist, but right now, playing a few things. She doesn't look that thrilled about this. Yeah, she doesn't love it, but... Do you have a gaming chair and all that? I do, and a gaming laptop, which is fun. You're a PC guy. Yeah. What are you playing?

I'm playing World of Warcraft Season of Discovery. It's coming back. Yeah. I think they hit their highest player count in some time recently. Wow. What was your relationship, if any, with Dalton Schultz? I wasn't there at the same time as Schultz. Okay, yeah, I couldn't remember if there was any crossover at all.

He built his own computers. Oh, really? Yeah, big gaming guy. Yeah, Trent does that as well. Really? Yeah. A lot of downtime. Yep.

Who's your best friend besides the three amigos there? Oh, gosh. No one. You don't know anyone on the team? I was going to say CJ Goodwin. Okay. Yeah. He's from here, isn't he?

Or no? I don't think so. I thought he might have been from here. That's a random best friend. He's the ace gunner. Oh, I guess that's true. He's on all four phases. Yeah.

Okay. We just re-signed him as well this offseason. I thought it would be Micah. Micah? Yeah. That's my best friend. him as well this off-season. I thought it would be Micah. Micah? Yeah. That's my best friend. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

Sorry. Yeah. Micah loved Jake when we met him. Yeah? Yeah. Because Jake, what was he doing? He was promoting like a pizza. A Pizza Hut hot.

Spicy Pizza Hut thing or something. Yeah, spicy marinara sauce, I think. And like people were, it was on Radio Row at the Super Bowl, and people didn't want to, people would, like, take one bite of the pizza and be like, it's so hot. And then Jake just pours, like, the hot thing on it and just ate the whole thing. And Micah's like, oh, my – like, he couldn't believe what he was looking at.

Was it that spicy? Micah's a weird dude, but fun. Yeah. Like, good weird, but he's – He's an interesting character. Like, he'll just stare through you. Yeah, he's very competitive, very serious person, so... But he likes bits, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Powerball jackpot jumps to $1.23 billion. Whoa. And yet again this morning, as we talked about last week. This time it wasn't in Southlake, but it wasn't Grapevine. I saw a man in a suit buying a Powerball 10-pack. And you find that odd?

I do find it odd. Like, you're doing well. He was in, like, a Range Rover. It's an investment. He's got to pay it off. Somehow. Yeah. You ever hear of

Hollywood Henderson? Thomas Hollywood Henderson was a Cowboys player in the 70s? 80s? I was going to say 70s, but yeah. Anyways, he was a famous Cowboys player back in the day. You certainly heard of him.

He won the lottery twice. No way. That's crazy. Look it up won the lottery twice. No way. Yeah. That's crazy. Look it up. No one was doubting you. Oh, okay. Jen was shaking her head a little bit.

What are the odds of that? Probably higher than winning it once. 50% higher? I think you mean lower. Lower? Yeah. Oh.

Probably lower. Yeah. This is Probably lower. Yeah. This is the eighth largest jackpot in U.S. lottery history. If I won it once, I'm not going to continue playing it. Right? Aren't you thinking? No, I would think not. Yet Hollywood Henderson would still take his $20 to the gas station every week and buy more lottery tickets.

Well, after he won the lottery, he probably could put $100 down to win it again. Right. Okay. And that does increase your odds. Yeah. So maybe he did have better chances. This one is 1 in 292.2 million. Ooh.

Speaking of odds, I was looking this morning. I just wanted to see how smart I was when I put my bet on Luka to win MVP. Mm-hmm. It was plus 810 at the time. I think he's moved up. I think he's the second best in odds right now. You are correct.

Yesterday. Way up. Plus 275 right now. But Jokic is negative 2,500. 2,500? Yeah. So I think

it's likely going to be him. What does that mean you win if you put 100? Or I have to put 2,500 to win 100? Yes. Yeah. Okay. You'd win like $2.50 or something, right?

Or a quarter. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. There's no way to know. Basketball fan or no? I like watching the sport. I just don't watch it very often. Did you grow up a Mav fan?

When they had the championship run, I watched, but kind of a front runner. Yeah, absolutely. I like Dirk a lot. Okay. Do you know Gordon Jago? No. You know who he is? Mm-mm.

Okay. Any big soccer guy? Yeah. I mean, it was his career. Yeah, he was big with youth soccer. Yeah, the Dallas Cup. The Dallas Cup. What was his last name?

Jago, J-A-G-O. The Dallas Cup is like a big deal. At least we've been led to believe it's a big deal. I hosted families from abroad for Dallas Cup like three or four times. He invented it back in the 80s, 90s. Yeah, and he played in the Premier League. Like in the 60s. Okay.

Yeah. Old dude. Yeah. Good dude. Context clues. I just figured, you know. Local soccer legend like Brandon Aubrey. I wouldn't go that far.

Could you go like right now? Do you ever have the desire to play, like, rec league soccer or anything like that? Like a competitive, like, A-league? My body would fall apart. I don't have the stamina. I used to be, like, 180 pounds when I was playing soccer. Now I'm 210,

215. So, I think I'd last, like, 10 minutes before I need a sub. Can you do a bicycle kick? I could do it. Would I be able to walk after? I don't know. Okay.

But you have done it? You want to play flag football? No, not in the game. Flag football? Yeah. I'm short a couple bodies this Sunday. I think I'm good. I got to watch out for the injuries.

Thought I'd ask. Do they tell you to not ski and not do dangerous stuff like that? Motorcycles. They don't tell you to, but if you do and get injured, they're not going to pay you. Yeah. Okay. That's a bad bet. Probably incentive enough.

Yeah. We have a little bit more on the Rasheed Rice situation. He met with DPD yesterday and has owned up to it, that both cars were his. One was a lease, one was a car that he owned. This is the funniest part of the story. So if you don't know what happened, it was Saturday night. There was a wreck on 75. The police report says that marijuana was found in both cars as well as credit cards.

$16,500 check. $16,500 check. No idea why you just have a check made out in your car. And the Chief's playbook. Oh, no. That's the thing you want to take, right? Do you even have a playbook? I don't.

They give us iPads, so it must have been his iPad. I mean, what do you got to look at the plays for, right? Exactly. Kick there. Kick ball through upright, right? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's what I thought was weird about it, too,

is I just assumed that it's just an iPad. Yeah. It actually explicitly lists in the story the playbook for the Kansas City Chiefs. Well, like that Mozzie Smith story. Mozzie had a storage unit. Yeah, they got – That got repoed and they found his Michigan playbook in there. Yeah.

So apparently that's like a playbook of plays. It's just – Well, it's actually – yeah, the other team's plays. I mean, on one hand, it's – Oh, there you go. Okay. There you go. A little college football joke. A little sports comedy, yeah. I like that. A laugh from the back, yeah. I mean, on one hand, it's a... Oh, there you go. Okay. There you go. A little college football joke.

A little sports comedy, yeah. I like that. Laugh from the back, yeah. I like that. On one hand, you appreciate the commitment that he had to play with him on a Saturday night just in case he needed to go over something. Smoke a joint and look at the route tree. Sure.

On the other hand, you'd prefer it not be stolen. I would think. I wonder what the... Yeah, what's the check? First of all, who writes checks? Yeah, I don't know. I was trying to think of what could cost $16,500. That you have to write a check for?

Yeah. Agent dues? Okay. There you go. That's a guy in the know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. There you go. That's a guy in the know. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty much the only time I ever had to do checks or money orders in the last half decade. Agent. You know, his agent, his former agent, was also the agent for Vanilla Ice. It's true.

No way. Yeah. Did you get to meet Vanilla Ice? I did not. I did not. I did not. It was some 30 years ago. Are you the biggest client for your agent now? Actually, when he signed me, I was his only client.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Because it was Brent. Right. Yeah, no, this is a weird situation. And, of course, particular interest to us because Rasheed Rice, former Richland Rebel. That's right.

That's where Jake went to high school. Yeah. You guys used to beat up on them. You didn't play high school. No. That's right. You're from Plano. Yeah.

I was from Collierville. Yeah. I didn't play high school football, but we did play high school soccer. I don't think we ever played them, though. Were you, like, great in high school? Were you scoring a goal a game? Yeah, high school soccer was a blast. It was the most fun because you're not having all the guys out there

that are playing in the academy or club system. You're just cleaning up. Yeah, it was like you had a couple of guys on each team that were superstars and just happened to be in front of all of your close friends too. So it's like kind of showcasing what you don't hang out with them because you're going to soccer practice all the time. You're like, oh, okay, so he actually is going to soccer practice. He just don't like us.

And now you're doing that times 1,000. You're at Cowboy Stadium in front of all your friends and stuff. Yep. Yeah, that's fun. It says that one of the cars that he was leasing

$300,000. What do you mean? That's what he paid just to lease it? Well, that's the value of the vehicle. Oh, okay. That one of his friends wrecked.

I was thinking about that last night. This is when they talk about guys who kind of roll through their money. Yeah. Like, I'm not car guy. Never have been. I don't even want to ask you what you drive. Like, how much would you have to make to buy a $300,000 car? I'm going to be honest with you.

I'll answer. There's no amount? I don't know. If you made $40 million a year... No, dude. I'm an A to B guy. If you win the Powerball, you're going to buy yourself

something special. I really don't think so. Do you think so? Go ahead. Jen is imploring you to say something here. I drive a Ford Escape. 2017.

It's fully paid off. There's no reason to go and get something else, but maybe we are going to get something else after we leave here. Oh, okay. So I don't know. But if you made $40 million, then you would be like, okay. I don't know. Whatever she wants, she can have.

Like if you made Dak money, yeah. I'd be fine in my Ford Escape. A to B, it doesn't matter to me. That's what I'm saying. As long as it's reliable. I've had family members say to me, well, if you're somewhat of a public figure, do you feel embarrassed? Because I had that accord for like 12 years.

Yeah. And I'm like, no, I don't. I just don't think anybody's placing any of my self-value or worth on the car that I drive. But for some people, that's like a big deal. Not for all pro Brandon Aubrey, though. Would you drive like a, if you could drive it for free, you ever see people that drive it looks like just a driving advertisement?

Like the car wrap? Yeah, yeah. Don't they pay people to do that? Yeah, I've had friends who did that. It has like a lawyer's office website on it or something. Would you drive a dumb zone vehicle?

Absolutely. Like a Volkswagen Beetle with the dumb zone logo? Yeah. It is the dumb zone. You know what I want? I want to drive a dumb zone vehicle with Brandon Aubrey's image on the side of it. But it's like kind of a low rent jersey. You know? Like it's not a real cowboy jersey. They can't of a low rent jersey. You know?

Like it's not a real cowboy jersey. They can't use like the real cowboy jersey. Like Witt would wear in a commercial? Yeah. The fake. And he's just kind of pointing. What kind of car is the dumb zone car? It's a Ford Escape.

Ford Escape? Yeah. Yes. You know, I'm in the market for selling one right now. Let's talk. So we haven't updated this story in a couple weeks, but the C-section gorilla is doing well in Cincinnati. Did you guys hear about this story? No.

The Fort Worth Zoo delivered a baby gorilla via C-section. And the doctor who delivered the baby gorilla actually delivered my daughter, my five-year-old. On the same day, too. No, it was not the same day.

Nope. On the same day. But the problem they had was the mom didn't really take to it. Like nature.

Like somehow it wasn't natural birth so then the mom shunned it. Didn't want take to it. Like nature. Like somehow it wasn't natural birth, so then the mom shunned it. Didn't want to. Yeah. And how do you keep a gorilla on bed rest? That's a good question. I mean, because the baby was born very premature.

That's why they had to do the surgery. But they both lived, and now they've moved it to... Oh, you know what? It's not Cincinnati. It's Cleveland. Cincinnati's where... Where Harambe died.

Yeah. Yeah, Cleveland, because we were talking about this... Why is that so funny to you? Just the way you delivered it. You didn't want to say it. Yeah, Cleveland is where... Remember I told you Monkey Island?

Yeah, I was going to ask. They had a thing, an exhibit at the zoo, because I grew up in Cleveland, at Monkey Island. Called Monkey Island. He didn't actually grow up at Monkey Island. No, no, no. But every year we would go on a field trip. Sure. Did you guys go on field trips to the zoo?

Yeah, Fort Worth Zoo is a big deal. I imagine if you grew up around here, that was a, yeah. That was a big one. Dallas Aquarium, Fort Worth Zoo. Planetarium? Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Trying to remember what field trips we had. That's probably about it. Zoo, Planetarium. Nora had one last Friday that was just to the park just the park how lame is that it seems fair well she's not in real school yet right preschool no but i mean kindergarten yet yeah it's pre-k i guess i was just like yeah we're just going to the park. Seems like a huge letdown. But anyways, Jameel is doing well. Jameel is the

baby? Yeah. So that other gorilla actually did take to it? Yeah. The new one. After the other one was like, no. I don't think so. Nature can be mean. It can be.

What's up with that? There's news. That's it? Is that one story? Well, I think I did three. I did Powerball. I did Rasheed Rice. The dumb zone news.

See, he's just... Like and subscribe. I Dumb Zone News. See, he's just... Like and subscribe. I'm slow on the draw. The Dumb Zone presents... A teacher in Southwick got arrested for having Adderall on him. Do you want to... Little Addy? Don't say Addy.

Addy. Let's see. Let's do some Today in History. Some interesting notes from some Today in History. Some interesting notes from this Day in History. So today is Thursday, April 4th. The day that

Brandon Aubrey joined us in the den of inequality. Someday we will have a... Maybe we can invite you to a studio. If you would want to be at a studio, Brandon. Unless you're really comfortable here. This is nice.

The couch is very comfy. Is the dog bothering you too much? Dogs are great. Don't know where they're at, but... You're a small dog guy too? Yep. Cat guy now. Cat guy? Yep.

You and the wife got a cat? We got two. See, that's an easy thing to take care of. Yeah, basically take care of itself. Usually, though, couples will do dog as prep for kid. Yeah. Because that's a little more. You can't just leave it for two days.

You can leave a cat. Thursday, April 4th. On this day in 1948, Connie Mack. Who's that, Blake? Baseball? I want to give baseball Blake. Also... I'm sorry.

Baseball. Blake who... Blake doesn't know anything before 1997 happened in history. Yeah. Other than the time that FDR stood up. Right. He believed that. Anyway, Connie Mack challenged Clark Griffith to a race from home to first base.

This is in 1948. And they actually did it. They staged this before a game. Connie Mack, at the time, was 84 years old. Clark Griffith was 78. And they say it ended in a tie. So I should know this guy because he ran from home to first. No, he's probably one of the all-time managerial win leaders.

Look at him go. Look at the list. 84 years old, runs like a champion. It is really funny to be in your 80s and like, I'm going to race you. That's high tea, man. It's so high tea. I don't have that tea. On this day in 1968, civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. the King was shot and killed

while standing in the balcony of a motel in Memphis, Tennessee. His slaying was followed by a wave of rioting. James Earl Ray pleaded guilty to the assassination, then spent the rest of his life claiming he was the victim of a setup.

You probably should have thought about that before you pled guilty. I would think. Do you have a theory on this one, Blake? Blake's a conspiracy theory guy.

He doesn't think we land on the moon. Uh-oh. No, that's not one of them. Oh. 9-11? Yeah, I mean, why did World Trade Center 7 fall? No, that's a popular one, right? I think MLK's family said that it was a conspiracy.

Like it wasn't him. Or he was put up to it. The government wanted him dead, Dan. I buy that. How old were you at 9-11? Six. Do you remember that? Not at all.

Okay, that's interesting. That's good news. I remember it because when I got home from school, Arthur wasn't on. Oh. Just a bunch of news coverage. That's very traumatic. Yeah. Very traumatic.

Then did you have a little Arthur fist? Yeah. I just held my hand. On this day in 1974, Hank Aaron tied Babe Ruth's home run record. Hitting home run number what, Blake? 714. On this day in 1975... Or no, wait. 1973, the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center

officially dedicated. Speaking of 9-11, Blake. And on this day in 1983, the Space Shuttle Challenger had its maiden voyage. So you don't want to start something on this day because it won't end well, is the message that we take from this. Sorry about our relationship with Cowboys kicker Brandon Aubrey.

Oh, that's right. What if this ends poorly? It's going well so far. Started out super positive. Birthdays today, famous people birthdays. Former Ranger, Martin Perez is 33. Baseball, Blake? Where does he play now?

The Pirates. With our oldest Chapman. Impressive. Former Cowboy Jack Del Rio is 61. Jaguars. What did he do there? He was the head coach. Oh, was he? Wasn't he? Yeah. He used to wear the suit.

Did he have a Kim spin? Um. He had some January 6th opinions. That's right. That's right. Less than conventional. I'll just leave it at that. He wants it to be a national holiday?

Yeah. He was... A couple boys can't go to the Capitals. Just hang out? Former Sooner Landry Jones is 35. Mustache. Dallas Desperado. Right?

What league is that? XFL, but it's merged. With? The USFL. Okay. Now the UFL. The UFL. It's now called the UFL?

Yep. And are they in bed with the NFL too? Not yet. Like it's a feeder league? Oh, okay. But you think it might be? Yeah. Just purely speculation.

Okay. Anderson Silva is 49. Fighter. Do you watch MMA at all? I used to when McGregor was big. Only McGregor. Do you have a take on? I used to when McGregor was big. Only McGregor. Do you have a take on the Tyson vs. Paul fight? That's Jake Paul?

Yeah. I don't think I've seen it. I watched the Jake Paul documentary, though. He seems like an interesting guy. Is it good? I think so. It made me like him. Oh, really?

Mm-hmm. Makes you feel for him, at least. That fight hasn't happened yet. It's scheduled for July or something. Okay, that's probably why I haven't seen it. I'm like, yeah. No, I just didn't know. That'd be fun, though.

A 60-year-old fighting a 30-year-old. Kind of seems like the 30-year-old's going to dominate. What do you guys think? We have wildly different opinions about this, Brandon. I think Tyson is going to destroy him. Yes. Yeah. I think it's going to be a very quick ordeal.

Clearly not educated enough to make an opinion on this one. That's never stopped us. What do you guys like doing Oxnard? I say it like Jerry. He likes Oxnard. Kick? No, I mean like for fun, yeah. Just nothing.

I mean, I was there one time so far, and I was pretty focused on not losing my job. Okay, so that's different. I went straight to the room and just sat there, waited for the next day. Would you call with daily updates? Yeah, absolutely. Jen's like, how'd you do today?

Yep. I mean, they keep you pretty busy. There's not a lot of free time. Even for the kicker. If you're in need of a seafood burrito, we got you. Oh, yeah. Where? Spencer McKenzie's.

We went there. Oh, you did? Yeah. The seafood burrito is great. I got the seafood burrito. Yeah, it's unbelievable, isn't it? Spencer McKenzie's. We went there. Oh, you did? Yeah. The seafood burritos. I got the seafood burritos. Yeah, it's unbelievable, isn't it? Fantastic. Actor Craig T. Nelson is 80.

Coach. You ever seen that show? That is... Well, the show's called Coach. Oh, it's called Coach. I thought it... I'm thinking of something else. The New Girl.

There's a coach in New Girl. That sounds right. Well, I don't know what you're saying. What's the soccer coach show that we... Ted Lasso. Okay, are you stoked on that? Apple TV, I don't really get Apple TV. Like you don't understand it?

No, I just don't have it. I've seen the first season. It's confusing. I don't get it? No, I just don't have it. I've seen the first season. This is confusing. I don't get the whole business model. David Cross is 60. Big fan. I met him. You did meet him. I paid to meet him.

Yeah, meet and greet. You ever done anything like that? Paid to meet somebody? No, no, no. Like, do people ever, do you have to, like, go to Albertsons and stuff? Oh, yeah, like an appearance where you got to. Yeah, I'll actually be. People pay to meet you.

At the Funtown RV thing this next weekend. What's that? It's an RV show. Where? AT&T Stadium. Oh, okay. Mm-hmm. All the Cowboys or many or whoever they tell to go?

Me and Michael Irvin and a couple other older Cowboys. Michael Irvin's great. Yeah, I can't wait to meet him. Oh, you haven't met him yet? No. Oh, my gosh. Wow. He is going to – you are going to love him.

He's my favorite athlete of all time. Really? Yeah. I think I'm sitting right here. Yeah, he's sitting right in front of you. Second. Second favorite athlete of all time. Notre Dame's own Brandon Aubrey.

Well, if you can get arrested with a prostitute and a crack pipe and whatever he's been arrested with, Michael Irvin, and then bounce back to still remain on top of the game, then you'll be Jake's favorite athlete of all time. Right there, 1A, 1B. I don't think I have that talent. Robert Downey Jr. is 59. Looks pretty good, given how hard he's lived.

Don't you think? Like, he's a good-looking man. He is. Eric Andre is 41. Jake. Legend. I know I already burned my legend. Are you a fan of that comedy, the show?

Oh, yeah. The Eric Andre show? Magician David Blaine is 51. He had his time What's that? He's got some tough ones Does he really? What do you mean?

Look it up No You're right here with us Well I mean Yeah If it's not on the list We can add it I think he's been accused

Of several Unsavory acts Which honestly Have you ever met a guy Who does magic That you're like You're normal? This guy, yes.

Like pretty much everybody you've ever met that's like, I know some magic tricks. You're like, all right, well, you're a weirdo. So we have Born on this Day, Now Dead. Nobody's disagreeing with me. Was he already on the list? No. So what Jake does, he's got a party trick. So his name is Jake Kemp, and he'll do Kemp spins.

You're familiar with Deadspin? Deadspin. No, okay. It was a website way back in the day. Website back in the day that would just highlight the negativity, things that happen negatively to sports figures, right? Generally for sports figures? Typically, yeah. But it was, so yeah, like

hell, Johnny Manziel had his own section on Deadspin, you know? Stuff like that. Gotcha. So weird, wild, out there stories. And then Jake has the ability to Kemp Spin people to where he you'll throw him a name. In fact, how many have we assembled so far?

Since we've been doing this show together since early 2020, how many Kemp spins have we assembled? David Blaine makes 487. Okay, that's the newest edition? Yeah. Blake keeps the list. So, like, throw, let's give Brandon some examples. Just throw him three random names,

and we'll just see how fast Jake can recall. This is like his Rolodex. This is the pressure. The pressure that an NFL kicker has to go through. I wish I was a punter. Yeah, this is bigger pressure. Eva Longoria. Do you know who that is Brandon?

Yeah actress I was trying to get Yeah I want to make sure Well I don't know if this is true or not But there was a rumor that she slept with Like Brent Berry Right? Or one of the Berries on the Spurs

Like that she cheated on Tony Parker with Correct? Eva Longoria that she cheated on Tony Parker with. Correct? Eva Longoria had an affair on Tony Parker because he had an affair with Brent Barry's wife. Yeah, so that was close enough. Yeah, when they were both Spurs. That's pretty good. Impressive, isn't it?

Quite the locker room, though. Quite a locker room, yeah. Okay, Luke Bryan. Luke Bryan. Luke Bryan. Don't think very hard about it. I don't know. He has fake teeth.

That shouldn't even be on there. That's not a Kemp spin. See, that's the thing. He's padding the stats a little bit. It's got to be for something unsavory. Yeah. Fake teeth. See, to me, it's just more of the cadence of it. It's like, yeah, did you see what Luke Bryan did?

And then Jake will go, fake teeth. It's just like a one-off. Just like when you say George Washington? Yeah. George Washington's on here. Oh, he is? Not for wooden teeth, though teeth though no he's got some other stuff well like slaves and stuff yeah and it there were slave teeth oh okay yeah the

great thing about this Brandon is it doesn't have to be people uh the Texas Tech horse what it died it ran into the wall it ran into a concrete wall and died. At a game? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Don't laugh at that, Brandon. Was there somebody on the horse?

Yeah, I think so. Did he also? Well, I think that the horse ejected the rider, then the horse ran into the wall. That's a miserable existence. Yeah. You have a miserable existence. Yeah. You have a building here. Washington Commander's Building.

It was like an upskirt thing. Built so you could hold a mirror to look up girl skirts. Yeah. It was built for that. Yeah. Like the way that they constructed the staircases. But also didn't they have like a pipe burst? A what?

A pipe burst. Oh, at the stadium? Yeah. Yeah. That feels like it's less offensive. What's the worst place to kick? Or thus far? You've only been in...

The toughest place to kick so far has been Washington. Okay. Yeah, he's 0 for 2. No, 1 for 3. Oh, okay. But 1 was not your fault. Get it right. Yeah.

Yeah. Boy, Blake H.E. No, I didn't know. Best place to kick besides home? Or just any dome is the same? I'd say Birmingham. Okay. Did you guys play at Legion Field?

Yes, but not... I thought that stadium was terrible. That stadium was not the greatest. The one I'm talking about was Protective, the brand new UAB stadium. It was awesome. Oh, yeah. I haven't been there. What about as far as locker rooms and stuff?

Best and worst? Best locker rooms are the ones in the Star. Not here. The worst has to be Commanders. The worst, Commanders and Buffalo are up there. Buffalo is so cold. The doors were open the whole time, and our locker's specialist right next to the door.

It was very cold the whole time and not the most updated. But best locker rooms? I'm drawing a blank. Other than ours, because obviously the Cowboys do everything right, and I'm sure the way locker rooms in there are great too, but I got to think where we played. We played in Philly. Well, the Giants stadium is pretty new.

Yeah. But that was your first game. That was my first game. I wasn't thinking about that. No. Seattle. Seattle. Seattle locker room was really nice, actually. The only away locker room I've ever been in is Washington,

and I could not believe it. Oh, y'all played at SoFi. I was like, there's no way this is an NFL locker room. That was actually pretty good. Those were incredible lockers. Where do you sit on the plane next to Brian Anger? No, I sit on 37D, way in the back with the training staff. Rookie.

I was the last person to sign, and I'm a rookie, so that's just the order they did it in. I'm sure I'll move up two or three rows next year. Banger's in first class. He's got the recliner and lay down flat. Who's up there? All the older vets. It's just strictly by number of years you've been in first class. He's get the recliner and lay down flat. Who's up there? All the older vets. It's just strictly by number of years you've been in the league.

Oh. I find that interesting. As do I. Born on this day, now dead. A. Bartlett Giamatti. Who's that, Blake? Baseball. He is the commissioner

of baseball who banned Pete Rose. He's got quite a bullet point on his name. And, you know what else his bullet point is? Famous son?

Grandson. Son. Son. Paul Giamatti. That's wild. No, from Big Fat Liar or from the Stern movie I just try to make him mad

I think it worked I'm seething and Heath Ledger let's see that's tough really tough dead on this day still dead

I will give you Alfred Butz who is the inventor of Scrabble. Okay. Alright. Anyone ever play Scrabble? Yeah, no, I played a lot growing up. Words with friends counts?

Yeah, I'm a words guy. You? I used to be. Before World of Warcraft. Absolutely. Well, the alliance is not going to save itself. Yeah. Or did nothing wrong. Oh, you're opposite side of the coin.

Yeah. Okay. And died on this day in 2020. Man, what synergy here that Brandon Aubrey is with us today. Because died on this day. The age of 73. You better know who this is. Or we're erasing this whole show.

Tom Dempsey. Oh, the half foot kicker. The steel toe. Yeah. He had the longest kickoff or field goal in history for... Yeah. His boot or cleat is in the Hall of Fame. Okay.

Student of the game. Yeah. Totally. Do you feel like if he had a full foot, he could have kicked it twice as far? No. Maybe if he had a full metal foot. Who holds the record right now? Is it Elam?

No. Tucker. Tucker. Okay. Sorry. Sorry, sorry metal foot. Who holds the record right now? Is it Elam? No. Tucker. Tucker. Okay, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. What's the distance? Ooh. Was it 69?

Seven. I thought it was 69. 66. Against Detroit? Yep. The same field. I don't know if you watched the UFL, but Kicker just made a 64-yarder there. Same uprights.

This guy's locked in. So you're watching UFL games on the weekend? Absolutely. Okay. You know some of the guys there? Yeah, I know a lot of the guys. Pretty much 50% of them are from the USFL. A lot of good guys, good memories with hanging out with those guys.

Do you like text with Micah? I don't think I have Micah's number. Oh. How would you awkwardly ask for that? That just seems like weird. Like, why would you ask for Micah's number ever? I can give it to you. No, I appreciate that.

Do you have Tyron Smith's number? I don't. I don't know why. Yeah,'t. I don't know why. Yeah, no. I don't know what you're looking for. If you get outside of the specialist group, I think I have two phone numbers for the players. Go on.

CJ Goodwin. Yeah. That might be it. Kevontae Turpin. I don't think I have Turpin's number. I was trying to think of special teams, guys. I definitely have Wanya Thomas'. Okay.

PP. How are you told to tackle? Like, what has Bones told you? Get out of the way. Okay. He doesn't even want you to. This is preseason, to be fair. Okay.

Is it in preseason? Just don't worry about it. Like, if we give up a touchdown, I don't care. But not in a game. In an actual game I'm just... You're supposed to just kind of get in the way but not... Yeah. What I've been told guys running down the sideline

or at you, just make him cut and somebody will catch up to him. Force him back inside. Yeah. Just make him change directions. Slow him down. So you're not excited to put your shoulder into his... I mean I would be if I was a little bit younger. I could recover from stuff like that. All right, well, let's close this part, and then we need to...

And that was Today in History. We need to recognize a couple of our other guys who have come in here today. In fact, can we give Kyle at least the microphone or that extra headset or something? What do we got going here? Have a seat. There's a long... Thanks. Thanks, guys.

No, no, no. I mean, yeah. I'm good. You just get that tall boy. So Kyle is a Roethlisberger. You know it. Kyle Roethlisberger. I got to be honest.

He looks like a Roethlisberger. Kyle Roethlisberger looks kind of awesome. Yeah. Hey, thanks, man. He looks like he's ready to party. Yeah. Hey, dragon den, man. You and your buddy Chris are 690 sit-ins today now did you guys split this

yeah okay um but chris doesn't get any love yeah uh so what's your deal man yeah we're just hanging out i want to support the show okay we've been friends i mean listen to you guys for a long time when i originally started listening to you guys it it was Grizzly Man back in like 2005. Timothy Treadwell. Yeah. Yeah, we were reviewing that movie. For sure. And so I've been hooked ever since.

And got Chris along. He dove in and loving it ever since, man. Where are you guys from? Plano. Oh, okay. Well, live in Allen now, but grew up in Plano. Okay. Yeah.

Were you big Plano high school soccer fans? Huge. Yeah. Huge, man. Believe it or not, I'm actually a huge MLS fan, so I'm probably the guy that annoys you and sends in MLS, hey. Why don't you talk about the MLS more? I'm not like that.

No, no. Okay. But sometimes I'm like, damn. Most soccer people are very pick-me-ish. For sure. I try not to be, though. I don't want to be that guy, ass-whipping guy. Were you guys all stoked on Freddie Adu?

Wasn't Freddie Adu, like, how old were you when he was getting drafted? I was like 11, probably. Okay. So that had to be, yeah, a huge deal for you. Yeah. I hope you always want to see U.S. players do well, so. Yeah, it was a big deal. Sorry he didn't.

Back in the day, it was, like, exciting. But I think he was a lot older than he said he was. Yeah, that's the thing. Really? Yeah. He was supposed to be a youth phenom, but he was probably four or five years older than he claimed. I have never heard that. Has Kemp's been?

No, I have not heard that either. Danny El Monte? Yeah, that's who I wanted to bring up. Do you know that story? I don't, but similar. Little League Baseball. Yeah, he was like

17. Little League World Series. Yeah, what was that movie, Sandlot? Well, there is a movie, Sandlot. Was there a hand in

a $20 bill? An IM10? Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Okay. You have any closing remarks there, Kyle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Okay. You have any closing remarks there, Kyle? Yeah, final thoughts?

Can I pass it on to Chris for some final? No, I think we were all waiting. Chris is the closer. What's your name? What's your last name? I think I'll avoid saying my last name. Oh, okay. Wow.

Just personal. Thanks a lot, Dan. Just because the whole... Because we outed you guys as walking in here with tall boys? No, no. I just don't really – I don't know. A bunch of reasons. He's supposed to be at work right now.

That's one of them. Closing remarks from Chris. I think most people assume that it's all P1s listening. I'm not a big ticket head. I just like radio, and Comptown's not good anymore. Is that true, Jake? Well, it's gone. Oh, alright.

I would say my leaders are the Venn diagram of Chapo, Comptown, and DFs. That's all I've ever wanted in life. We've made it. Are you familiar, Brandon? There's a...

What is it? A podcast called Comptown? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not familiar. You don't ask people that. We don't watch... We don't listen to this around the campfire.

Okay, sorry. Go ahead. I interrupted you. Oh, good, man. I think my other leader is... What did you guys think of the den here? Is it what you thought it would be? I think it's bigger than I thought.

It's bigger. I'll talk about it like it's tiny. Okay. Yeah, everybody comes in saying it's small. Yeah. It's nice. That's what she said. The chairs in the back kind of suck.

I feel like I'm at jury duty. I wish I was on the couch. All right. Yeah, well, why don't you make an NFL roster? Touche. Make your first 37 picks in a row. Yes, exactly. 99 out of 108.

Well, that feels like that's it. I thought he wasn't done. You're still rolling? I was going to say my other leader was your co-host from Ohio, Chiefing Bulls at 4 a.m., I think. I thought you said that at one point. Yeah. What is, what is he doing?

Dating. I don't recall. I'm not recalling anything. That fell flat. Okay. We'll delete all of this. Okay, thank you. Thank you.

Any closing remarks, Brandon Aubrey, or any of the Aubreys, or father-in-law of the Aubreys? Will you dedicate one to us? Sure. Just make sure we know which one. I'll pull off my jersey and take the fine. Okay.

And I'll have a dumb zone shirt on. That would be awesome. I really enjoyed it. I'd like to see the den. Get to see you guys in action. Okay. It was enjoyable. Yeah, I think Brandon enjoyed it, right?

Yeah. Well, thanks for being enjoyed it, right? Yeah. Well, thanks for being a subscriber, Brent. You bet. And thanks for bringing these guys over. Thanks for having us. All right. Well, good luck to you guys. Good luck.

Go Cowboys. Let us know whenever you want us to announce the name. Yeah. Yeah. Adios, mofo. Go Cowboys! We'll see you next time.