The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 5-23-24

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

Hear every show of The Dumb Zone - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneGet ready for an episode of The Dumb Zone that hits all the right notes—literally. The team kicks things off with a live performance of their original song "Round Ball Rock," a catchy tune that’s bound to be stuck in your head. From there, Dan, Jake, and Blake dive into a whirlwind of topics that range from the hilarious to the heartfelt.First up, they explore the quirks of North Richland Hills, Texas, from its local high schools to the nostalgia of water parks like NRH2O and Hawaiian Falls. The guys share personal anecdotes, including Dan's harrowing vet switch and Jake's eye exam adventures, complete with the charmingly upbeat receptionist who brightened his day with an "okie dokie, artichokey."Special guest Chris joins the crew for a birthday celebration, complete with a custom Dumb Zone cake and some heartfelt (and hilarious) closing remarks. Chris shares his thoughts on everything from drone deliveries to the joy of neighborhood camaraderie.In the news segment, the team covers a lightning-struck electrician, the latest polls on marijuana legalization and casino gambling in Texas, and the curious case of balloons terrorizing deer at Crawford Ranch. Plus, they discuss the bizarre Twitter feud between Trevor Bauer and Pitching Ninja, and the unfortunate incident involving LaMelo Ball and an 11-year-old fan.Blake wraps things up with a review of "None of This Is True" by Lisa Jewell, sparking a lively discussion on the trope of the unreliable narrator in modern fiction.It’s an episode packed with laughs, insights, and the kind of offbeat charm that makes The Dumb Zone a must-listen. (00:00) - Open (40:38) - Mavs win game 1 (01:17:48) - Today in Twitter: drove delivery reaction, Bauer vs. Pitching Ninja (01:32:17) - Viewer Mail (01:53:09) - News (02:13:52) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program.

The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza. Okay, well, let's see what we've got for you. We've written a song that we like to call Round Ball Rock. Now, it started as one of David's poems here, but then it just grew into something bigger than both of us could ever imagine. It's me on keys and Dave singing. Can you believe this is our job?

All right, fire away. All right, ready to do this? Yes, I am. All right, two, three, four. B-b-b-b-b-basketball Gimme, gimme, gimme the ball because I'm gonna dunk it! B-b-b-b-b-b-basketball, gimme gimme gimme the ball because I'm gonna dunk it! B-b-b-b-b-b-basketball, gimme gimme gimme the ball because I'm gonna dunk it!

B-b-b-b-b-b-basketball, gimme gimme gimme the ball because I'm gonna dunk it! Alright, now that's how you do it, David. That was just getting hot. You earned such good voice today, buddy. Thank you, brother. Hey, everybody. Hey everybody I'm Dan McDowell I'm Jake Kemp Blake Jones

It was late, sorry And we are the Dumb Zone That's what we call ourselves Because we're Can't change it now. Nope. We almost need someone to sue us again. Can't get into any press conferences. Can't do anything.

The world is against us, Jake. Well, we're white males. Oh my gosh. Yet again. Short end of the stick. And we are not broadcasting from my home, which is high atop my garage, or our home way from home, which is our downtown Dallas studio. Today, we are in very familiar territory for one Jake Kemp.

North Richland Hills, Texas. Home of the Rebels. And I ain't changing it. Okay, I thought North Richland Hills might have a different... I thought Richland Hills. Richland High School encompasses most of Richland Hills and North Richland Hills. Oh. I thought kids in North Richland

Hills just went to NRH2O. Yes. Every day. Yeah, actually my fifth period class was at the NRH2O. I missed that place. Might be time for me to get Nora in on the action.

She's kind of a pussy. We were into Hawaiian Falls. Hawaiian Falls. A lot more expensive than I thought it would be. Is that a lower rent in RH2O? Yes. It's smaller for sure, but they're certainly proud of the pricing.

You're paying like freaking wet and wild prices at Hawaiian Falls. Prices keep going up, man. Thanks, Biden. Biden. Yeah, they have a Biden sticker on the front of Hawaiian Falls. Prices keep going up, man. Thanks, Biden. Biden. Yeah, they have a Biden sticker on the front of Hawaiian Falls. It just says, I did this. Floating in the...

Hawaiian Falls is actually where, if you recall, I saw they were doing lifeguard training, and we were in the Lazy River, because Nora was like three, so that's pretty much the only thing we could do. We could do some of the kid slides and stuff. And we were doing lifeguard training, and from up above, it's probably like a 10-foot wall around that portion of the Lazy River. They just threw the torso-up dummy into the water. Into the water, and my daughter was looking right at it.

And she had a freaking meltdown. Okay, it wasn't the fake baby? It was not the fake baby. Because they'll do that on you, right? Yeah. And all of a sudden, somebody jumps in to get it. So she thinks somebody actually... I mean, I thought that for a second.

Yeah. I'm like, what's... Yeah. And so what's she going to think? Her little undeveloped mind. Yeah. Yeah, but no, we're in Northwich Mills. Yeah.

Yeah. And like I said when I walked in this house, who knew Northwich Hills was nice? Look how nice this house is. This is great. I don't think you've ever really been here. No. Just for the NRH2O or maybe some mama's pizza.

The closer you get to 820, the closer you get to what you're probably thinking of. Is Chan's? No, that's a nice area. No, but is Chan's NRH2 in North Richland Hills? Yes, we have not yet officially changed the name of the city. To NRH2. It's such a unique...

You can't have NRH2 anywhere else. No, and the funny thing is, they didn't know that when they named it, and they've tried to sell it to other cities, and they're like, this doesn't make any sense. Although they did. It's Six Flags over Texas. Yeah, but they don't call it that. Yeah, but you're right.

It is Six Flags over Texas and they transferred it to France. One of the Six Flags. Yeah. It's interesting. You know what? It is interesting. But do you think people in other cities and countries even that go to Six Flags have a clue why it's called that? I don't think I had a clue for a long time.

You kidding me? When you're walking around and you're like, now I'm in Spain. No. Yeah, I don't think the kids, like my kids don't know. And I didn't know when I went there as a kid. That's okay for you, but you took two years of Texas history as was forced upon us

and you think it was just constantly on my mind when I'm walking around should have been I doubt you took Ohio history too much no that's a weird

thing about Texas what is Ohio history I don't know it's just there yeah there's a lot of Indians and stuff we had those too so that's not really we ran them out of Ohio right It's just there. Yeah. There's a lot of Indians and stuff.

We had those too. Yeah, we just ran them out of Ohio, right? And then they ended up here and kept pushing. We were like, why don't you guys keep going? Go north a little bit. But did you name that force something cool like the Ohio Musketeers or something? Name that what? We had the Texas Rangers. Oh, the force to kill Indians?

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. We didn't have Ohio history. They might have. We like to ignore history so that we could repeat it in Ohio. In North Richland Hills, when I walked in, I was told, welcome to your weekly sausage party, and that is certainly the case.

There's a group of half a dozen dudes. Yeah, I'm looking at five or six dudes. yeah um seems to be some level of neighborhood tie here and what i do when i go to these places is i walk in and immediately like the terminator try to figure out can i vape in here and if everybody already has whiskey you're like yeah at 11 30 i'm like all right are they drinking hard yeah somebody offered me an old-fashioned and I was like, no,

it's a little early and he said, well, it's a breakfast old-fashioned. Oh, okay. Yeah. Let's get old Chris over here.

Chris, come here for a second. So, yeah, the vape. Come here, boy. Come here,

boy. Green light. This is Chris and so you see hanging up, well, you know what? I should read the email that I got a while back.

February 21st. You're going to read it? Is it okay? Yeah, or I should read the email that I got a while back. February 21st. You're going to read it? Is it okay? Yeah, or I can play the audio. You have audio? Yeah. Of what? What you're about to read.

Can I play it? Let him cook. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Okay. I have no idea what he's saying. All right. This was a funny moment from our show because, yeah, you mistimed when you were supposed to read this birthday.

Do you remember this at all? I do. No. Okay. This is from March. This was sent on Wednesday for a Friday birthday. Not that. This current one, though.

It's from Andrea. Boy, listen to these guys with all the momentum. She says, you don't know me, but boy, I know all about you. My husband has got to be your biggest fan. He talks about you all the time. He pays for your podcast. What? Follows you on Twitter, comments on your posts,

geeks out when you retweet it, and most importantly, he wears an earbud in his ear 96% of the day with you guys on the mic. So Chris turns 40 today, May 23rd. She asks... Well, today... Okay, mistake one. You get into why you said that,

but yes, you were two months early. This was sent to me February 21st. Oh, is it February? Yeah. Okay, hold on. It's not May 23rd. May? Boy, I think she means... What if this is for May?

Unbelievable. I don't want to read the rest of it. You had a great lead in and you were really fired up about it. I really did because there's something in here that we... Here's the deal. I'm going to go ahead and tell you. I thought she sent it Wednesday.

Today is the 23rd. Of a different month. Two months later. It might make sense that it's May. She wanted to know if we'd come broadcast from their house for his birthday. I don't know if it's supposed to be a surprise or not. Dude, you bungled this so bad. Like... Well, if we were...

Just an all-time fumble. If we were broadcasting for his birthday, it couldn't be a surprise. We'd have to be there early and set up. But the whole thing could be a surprise. Yeah. In fact, I thought it was. You know? You've gotten this email?

I book it, yeah. Yeah, it's his job. We're coming, Chris, for your birthday. Dude, what a disaster. I thought she was asking me to go there two days out. I thought she was emailing me two days out and thought we could show up in two days. And I thought, so at first I intended this.

Yeah, but it's actually more like a hundred days. So I intended this to be kind of making fun of her. And it turns out that it's me that should be made fun of. Yeah. Jeez, dude. That's a bad look. So we are doing it, Blake? Yeah, she's paid and we've got it on the calendar.

Well, here we are. May 23rd. We're here we are. May 23rd. We're here now. And somebody turned 40. Go ahead, Chris. It made the 690 remote even better. I got a double 690 remote because I was basically on the pod, as Jake said, nearly 100 days before my birthday. And it was awesome.

It was not a total surprise. I kind of had to obviously cede this idea to her. And my friend Patrick over there helped her out to get in touch with Blake. So I knew, but it made it all the better. It was awesome. I just love listening to hamster wheel Dan. Blake clipped the audio, but Dan quickly transitions to the AT&T outage that happened around that day. And Jake brings it back to

not let Dan off the hook. Was this the first time I said, I'm going to start pre-reading these? And then I didn't? Yeah, it's like a cycle. Okay. Because I got to read them ahead of time. Diet starts Monday. At some point. Well, she went on to write, this is Andrea. Chris and I have been married for 14 years. We have two kids, seven and five years old, and a golden doodle. Chris works for Hershey.

Yes, the chocolate company. So cool! I wasn't thinking anything else. Hershey Automotive. She stated the obvious. Yeah. Stated the obvious. The highway.

Maybe he works for the highway. Yeah, there you go. In sales. So he might be, he just might work at the counter of, right, of 7-Eleven. And he is seriously one of the nicest, funniest. Oh, really?

Well, now. Best human in the entire beach. Yeah. Be funny. This will literally make his year possibly his life. From Andrea. He's got the balloons up there. Andrea Allshouse.

Is that your name? Allshouse. Yep. All right. Could have shortened it up a little bit on that one, but that's pretty standard for her type of communication. It's not just her. It's not just her?

Okay. A lot of info. A lot of extra info. I said, you just need to email Blake and say, I'd like to have a 690 remote, and they will come. Okay. Where's this golden doodle? We put it down.

In preparation for us, we put our dog down. We removed him from the house just because he's still kind of a puppy. So we didn't want to have you beaten down like Bodie does to some of the 690 sit-ins. Okay. So, yeah. Well, thanks for having us. No, we are super excited. So, yeah, as Jake said, the gathering of the neighborhood men.

I wish I had this so bad. I mean, I have a friend group that I'm very close with, but I've been friends with most of them since I was between 12 and 16. And they live all over? Not too far all over, but this dude walked here from two houses down. I saw him when I pulled up. Like that deal we did at Wired Will's house. This was sent on Wednesday.

What was? We're going to hear it again. So sorry. The Wired Will guy, like all those guys' kids go to the same elementary. They do the float and the grapevine Christmas parade and everything. I don't – I mean, I live in a – I think you need to live in a cul-de-sac. It probably doesn't hurt.

Because you guys live in a cul-de-sac, and then you end up being friends with your cul-de-sac guys, right? But even just like the street I would take, because as you know, my neighborhood is very old. Yes. And as are the tenants. Right, that's what happens. Yeah.

And then they die. Yeah. But yeah, I've never really had this. Yeah, no. We envy you, Chris. We envy you. You have a wife that does stuff for you. Got a dog that doesn't suck like mine.

Doesn't shed. All right. Are you prepared for closing remarks? You know when that comes up? I've been stressing about the closing remarks. I can't imagine programming the show four days a week like you guys do. The closing remarks are – It's not easy, dude.

You don't understand how difficult... Some people say hero. I think I might be on the Dumb Zone Reddit like Dan. I'm aware of the thoughts on the 690 guests, so I think some of those people should probably just contact you and get a remote if they'd like to

speak their opinion. The gauntlet has been laid. Shots fired. I'm sure I'm going to hear about it. I kind of did thatlet has been laid. Shots fired. I'm sure I'm going to hear about it. I kind of did that on purpose so I can hear about it. I have a feeling, I have a feeling

based on everything I see sitting out here that in two, two and a half hours, he will in fact be ready for closing remarks. Yeah. That's true.

They're doing a lot of drinking. They'll have a lot more courage. I'm slow playing it, so. Everyone says that at the start. That's so true. Thank you all for coming. Yeah, thanks for having us.

Happy birthday. Thanks for the 3D printed Dumb Zone logo. You're welcome. My son did that. Your son. How old is your son? He's seven. He's a seven-year-old kid.

Seven-year-old kid is smarter than us. He has a 3D printer. I can't get my regular, my legacy printer to work. Oh, yeah. He's got a new printer and he can't handle it. I couldn't get on Microsoft Teams yesterday. Oh, my God. Check the drivers, I think.

I hate Teams, man. I hate it so much. We've got so many other options. How many meetings did we have yesterday? I had, because I might have had one outside of you. What's going on there? I don't know. I can't remember who it was, but I know I had stuff going on.

Setting up a little something on the side? That sounds kind of fishy. Yeah. Were you there? No. Hmm. Hey, I got a lot going on, boys. Yeah.

You got your D Magazine. I just have my unknown stuff. Okay. What? Mine's all out there in the light. I think we had four. Well, I probably didn't. I was just trying to make it sound like I had a tougher day than you.

We either had four or five. But then if you add in my baseball meeting, maybe I did have more. Were you learning to run the first base? That's right. Yeah. Run this way. No, no, no. This way.

This one. This one, Jay. You can't run over the mound. No, you can't run the second. There's a line. You got to touch first. I did, Blake, have, no. This way. This one, Jake. You don't run over the mound. No, you can't run to second yet. There's a line. You got to touch first. I did, Blake, have a buddy because baseball is the only sport where they had open tryouts. Football, you're just on the team, hence why I was on the team.

They just try to make you quit, and then I'm like, no, I'm not quitting. Basketball, they would just relegate you to the end of the bench. Baseball, they had open tryouts, and I had a buddy who had no interest in playing baseball. Everybody knew that. He was not an athlete in any way, shape, or form, but he made contact at tryouts and ran right to third. Red-assed, 65-year-old baseball coach, love that. I saw that in 4U or whatever.

The way-too- young softball league. Yeah. This dude was a stoner who was doing it on purpose. He just took off to third. So he brought up Bodie. I have a couple little life stories to tell you. I changed vets. Oh, okay.

Yeah, you texted me about that. Did you go to my vet? Yes. Okay. I'm not super thrilled with our old vet. They, okay. Yeah. You texted me about that. Did you go to my vet? Yes. Okay. I'm not super thrilled with our old vet. They got a little attitude towards the end. They have a constant attitude. Yeah. And so I just wanted a new place.

Your place is about equidistant from my house as the old one. And I called, booking the appointment for next week, and she's like, the old one. I called booking the appointment for next week. She's like, nice old lady. She says, how did you hear about us? I was like, I have a buddy. The dumb zone. I was like, I got a buddy who I think he brings his two

toy poodles in there. That's what they are, right? Yeah. She's like, do you mind if I ask who? And I was like, oh, it's Dan and Kathy McDowell. She was like, oh, yeah. She was like,

I love Bodie. Oh, she knows him without looking him up. Didn't know Kip's name. She was like, I can't remember the other one's name. And she was like, Bodie, I love that little guy.

Okay. And I'm like, you can tell the difference between the two of them just by... Do you remember I told you I was walking and I thought I got recognized,

but the guy had just recognized Bodhi? From the vet? Yeah, no, from the... He was a groomer. Oh, okay. At PetSmart. I thought he was recognizing me.

This was in the era when you were getting recognized more than me. Yeah. And then this guy's like... That era is now, too. This guy's like, oh, Bodhi!

And I'm like, oh, okay, clearly he knows me, Kip and Bodhi, I'm pretty famous. Yeah. I'm getting excited because my wife, she'll. And I'm like, oh, okay. Clearly he knows me, Kip and Bodie. I'm pretty famous. Yeah. Getting excited because my wife, she'll get a little excited. The juices get flowing if somebody recognizes me in public because she's like, oh, wait.

That's right. I'm with a famous guy. I should have sex with him tonight. That's what she's always doing. Yeah. And no, he didn't recognize me. He had no idea who I was. He knew Bodie because he cuts his hair.

No, he didn't recognize me. He had no idea who I was. He knew Bodie because he cuts his hair. In the last handful of years, similar to the way that the name Karen has just been run through the mud, taking it in the shorts, is there a profession over the last five years that has had a rougher run than being a dog groomer?

Because when you're like, oh, he's a groomer. Oh, okay, yeah. You're like, keep him away. That's right. That's got to be tough. You can no longer say, oh, I'm a groomer. Yeah. 15 years ago, people would have been like, oh, you work with animals.

Now you have to very specifically say. You're not setting up kids for your thing. Item number two, this one just made it onto the list this morning. Does anybody else put their apples in the fridge? Is that a normal thing that I just don't do? Really? Okay. I didn't know that. You thought I'm a weirdo when I go to

somebody's house and say, can I put my apple in your fridge? Still a weirdo for bringing it to somebody else's house. I would say putting anything in someone else's fridge. Yeah, I would never ever think. I would never open somebody else's house. I would say putting anything in someone else's fridge. Yeah, I would never, ever think. I would never open someone else's fridge. But maybe he got tired of wheeling the big cooler around.

I brought the big cooler the other day to our video show. And I forgot to bring it up. Just for you guys, because I don't like lugging that thing around. Dan has the type of cooler that you would take on an eight-hour day fishing at the lake. Yes. It's huge. Or for your little league team.hour day fishing at the lake. Yes. It's huge. Or for your little league team. Yeah. Tournament.

Yep. Yeah. And he's just got like a Tupperware and an apple in there. Yeah. Not utilizing 90% of the cooler space. I didn't know apples were always in the fridge. I mean, it sounds delightful.

Oh, yeah. But we just put them in the fruit bowl. Nice and crisp. And then the third thing is I had an eye exam this morning. Do you have to do this? I don't have glasses, but I don't know if they were like, I don't want to say readers, but I guess you wear them all the time.

No, I have prescription. I had LASIK many years ago, but it does unwind after a decade or two. But you don't wear contacts, right? Not anymore. So it can't be that bad. I did growing up. Okay. But I can't drive without glasses.

First thing, I think the entire eye exam is a sham. And if you have contacts, I know this, they make you go to the eye doctor every year. Yeah. Because my daughter has contacts. Her prescription hasn't changed in five years, but she can't get a new batch of the yearly thing until... Hence why I was there this morning.

I ran out. So that's part of the scam of insurance? Must be. Because mine has been the same for over 10 years. It's not gotten worse. Can't you just say, hey, I want to order those contacts again? I would think so.

I'll pay you money. And they're like, no, we can't do it. You have to have a doctor appointment. Yeah, can't you just say, hey, I want to order those contacts again? I would think so. I'll pay you money. And they're like, no, we can't do it. You have to have a doctor appointment. Yeah, which usually is a week away. It's not like you can go in that day. I think it feels odd to me that we – that has to be how they gave eye exams like 50 years ago. Do you just do disposable?

I do now. I didn't until about two years ago. It's considerably more expensive but worth it. But you're just like – the whole read the line thing, and I'm like, should I be trying hard? Because then I'm going to game myself into... Yeah, do you want a better prescription? Yeah, like, should I just say, like, I can't see any of this.

Like, give me the best ones you have, and now I'm like Superman? Yeah, you need to sandbag a little. That's the thing, but in my mind I'm like, I'm going to knock this out of the effing park. Yeah, you always treat it though like it's the most important question they've ever asked you. Yeah, and I'm like, oh God, is that a C or an O? This one or this one?

Don't screw this up. A or B, like which one? On that I kind of think they're bullshitting you because I'm like, did he just show me the same one expecting me to give a different answer than I did the time before? Right. So I'm good. He's just in my head the whole time. Yeah. And that's one part of it. The second part of it is

when I went to go check out there was a woman behind the desk. She was younger than I am. She was probably early 30s. Oh yeah. Think more like the lady from Doug Townsend's nutrition video. Okay.

She was larger. She was doing a lot. She was helping three customers at once. And I'm just fascinated by this type of person. She was so cheery and in such a good mood. It's 9 o'clock in the morning. It's whatever. We've all been up for it. It was very much, just the

moment? Just the moment? But I just wonder what that person is like outside of that. Are they like that all the time? Because I actually kind of got into a little bit better mood when she ended, when I gave her

my credit card and she said, okie dokie artichokie. Oh my god. I never heard that one before. What? I had to immediately write it down. It's like okie dokie artichokie. And now you're going to incorporate it? You haven't heard that? No. I've heard

okie dokie smoky. Man, that person beats me down. And then, you know, the deal at the end. So she hands me the deal to sign. And then she has my paperwork, my receipt. And when I get done, she goes, how about we trade? Oh, my God. And then by that time, now you're into it, right? Yeah, I know.

I was like, how about we trade? Tradey, tradey, McTrady. Great seeing you as well. She's just such a weird type of person to me. I hope she goes home and turns it off. Just goes home and just spins the revolver the whole night. Just pitches at her husband all night. I mean, that's the kind of person you need in that job.

Yeah, for sure. How many times have you known someone who's antisocial, who's like the hostess or the host of person you need in that job. Yeah, for sure. How many times have you known someone who's anti-social who's like the hostess or the host of a restaurant? Or a customer service on a phone line or something. Yeah. You're right, because we get mad at that person. Yeah. Yeah, you can put it on nicer.

But yeah, when they're too nice, it is annoying. And look at what a great mood you're in right now. I'm honest, dude. I walked out of there skipping. This is great. So, yeah. You also find these type of people at the pet store a lot of times. Although they're more like Pat from SNL.

Oh, absolutely. You don't say yes, ma'am at the pet store. No, no, no way. You get yourself in real trouble there. That goes back to the groomer situation. Yeah. Hey, I've got breaking news. Okay.

Did you guys see this? He's back. The mayor of the city of Dallas. Sports mayor. I love Dallas. Sports mayor. I love sports. Sports mayor. I love sports. Sports mayor.

All the potholes have been filled, correct? Sports mayor. Yep. Crime. I love sports. Can't find it anywhere. Eradicated. Sports mayor. I went out looking for some crime.

Sports mayor. But according to Jake, he's the mayor we deserve. The energy crisis I do, I admit it, I love sports Fixed, no more rolling blackouts Ready for summer Yes He was, uh

Well, as you know Are you gonna bet now? He was tweeting And we have a twist On Sports Mayor today But I'll just tell you, first of all, he... You have to realize he's the initiator. Yeah, no. He's skating around the ice looking for a fight.

Of these sports bets. Yeah. So, he tweets out a couple days ago, So, at Mayor Fry, tweets out a couple days ago. So, at Mayor Fry, how about we sweeten the deal for the at NBA playoffs

Western Conference Finals with the Fred and the Ragers? So, he needs the NBA to be seeing this. Right. I'm surprised he didn't do the hashtag where the little trophy shows up.

You know? In the unlikely event the at Timberwolves win, I need that team to know. Yep. I'll send you some local Dallas sweets from Dude Sweet Chocolate. I'm familiar. What sweet treats will you...

Chocolate Man isn't though, so... All right, yeah. He's like, well, I couldn't on Hershey. What sweet treats will you be sending... Yes, that local delicacy. Hershey chocolates. Sorry. What sweet treats would you be sending when the at Dallas Mavs win? Hashtag Texas basketball.

So he gets a reply from the mayor of Minnesota. Nobody says Texas basketball. There's three teams. The Mavs and Spurs and Rockets all conglomerated. Like the stars say Texas hockey because the Houston Arrows are not an NHL team. Right. No, you're right. That's a bad hashtag.

So the mayor of Minnesota. Who is this writing? Why is there a solo on the Batman theme? Sports mayor. He's playing. The Minnesota mayor says, we all know what happens when mayors bet on games. Do we?

But no need to wager here. We know the at Timberwolves are coming out on top. Jokes aside. So he's just kidding. Yeah, yeah, got it. Mayors all suck, huh? Thanks for organizing this at johnson for dallas if the at dallas mavericks win we'll send you mpls's finest from dancing bear chocolate okay

again we have not chosen hershey but we have chosen uh some guy at guy at a bachelorette party. Yeah, I'd like to know more about it. I want to see his chocolate. Wow. Sports Mayor replies, sweet. Maybe I did not intend that to be a pun. It just happens to him. He's naturally funny. We have a bet

at Mayor Fry, the Dallas Mavericks are a team of destiny. As you will soon see. Hashtag can do city. Hashtag MFFL. Okay. And usually that's where it all ends. We look at this.

We see this guy tweeting. We wonder what else he does in the world. Can I just ask, what is the point of this? Of Mayor Betts? Yeah. Like, is there any... It's not... You know...

Like, are people in Minneapolis like, you know what? I'm thinking about going to Dallas now. Like, there's no utility for it. As far as I can see. And really, yeah, there's no public payoff. Like, maybe if somebody has to wear the Mavs jersey at a council meeting. Sure. But Eric Johnson gets chocolate?

That's the whole deal? Like, he gets to eat? Like, who eats it? His kids? The whole city of Dallas get it? The homeless. That's your idea deal? Like he gets to eat? Like who eats it? His kids? The whole city of Dallas get it? The homeless. That's your idea, right? Yeah.

Well, my actual idea is to trade homeless people. We ship a busload of homeless to Minneapolis. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're known in Texas for doing that anyway. Yeah, that's true. So just put money up. Put a bet on it. Yeah. I mean, we're known in Texas for doing that anyway. Yeah, that's true. So just put money up. Put a bet on it.

Yeah. 100 of your best and brightest. And do you think a lot of the homeless in Minnesota might be cheering for the Mavs? Like, because they get sent. Oh, no, no, no. Wait. Yeah, we send yours if we win. Like, we don't get them.

Right, yeah. Okay, so no, they'd be cheering for Minnesota, obviously. Because they want to go to Dallas. But I guess, yes, if you live in Dallas. No property taxes. You're right. If you're a homeless guy in Dallas, you would be rooting for the Timberwolves. Because you don't want to go live up there.

It's freezing. No, yeah, you might not. How long would it take you to walk back? You got to give them a bus. But no, I mean. I mean back, because they bus you there. And how long would it take you to walk back? You gotta give them a bus. I mean back, because they bus you there. That's true. Short of that, though, they could at least give all the brisket and chocolates this guy's winning to

somebody under a bridge. Yeah. But, no. Eric eats it. So now we have a bonus, though. We had a tweet directed at Greg Abbott, the governor of Texas. Do we have a song for that?

We have a bed. Okay. It says here, the Edmonton Oilers are facing off against the Dallas Stars very soon. Exclamation point. Yeah. Feel it. It seems only fitting that I challenge my counterpart governor at Greg Abbott Texas to a bet. stars you must eat the world's best steak an alberta rib steak on video and comment on how

on just how amazing it is if the stars win which is highly unlikely i will do the same and then greg abbott returns volley he says you're you're on, A.B. Danielle Smith. I bet the world's best ribeye, which is only found in Texas, that the Stars beat the Oilers. Go get them at Dallas Stars. Hashtag Texas hockey. So in Abbott's defense, which I don't like to give. He didn't start it.

He didn't start this idiocy. And it's kind of like Kendrick and Drake. You can't just sit it out once he throws one at you, right? How about this? They got governors in Canada. Well, I mean, they're like the province. I don't know. They call it governor?

No, I don't think they do. Well, this Oilers lady. Does it say governor? No, I don't think they do. Well, this Oilers lady. Does it say governor? Well, she's the one that said my counterpart governor. Yeah, I mean, I think she's saying, like, my counterpart would be a governor. But maybe not. Yeah. Is it the governor of Edmonton or the governor of?

Alberta, probably, right? Does anybody know? No idea. No. I'm going to say Alberta. But boy, there's a... What a... Alberta.

What a payoff that is. Yeah, hey. So you have to eat a great meal, but then you have to do it on camera. Yeah. And talk about it. I would hate that. You know, this is actually a unique opportunity in the event that you needed to do it to assassinate a political rival.

Right, you just send a laced Alberta steak. Hey, here's a steak. Or here's some chocolates. It's just an idea. I didn't realize this. Jacob Freyy the Minnesota mayor he was the guy that got walk ashamed out of a rally

during the George Floyd protest do you remember this? oh yeah that was tough he tried to go down he was like hey me middle aged white guy I bet I can speak some sense into this crowd and that lasted about two minutes

before they were like get out of here yeah and booed out of there and walk ashamed out yeah you know what this was a bad idea yeah tough look so it makes sense why he would want to bet on this series just something like some goodwill just something else i will give you one possible good uh government sports bit uh the other day, the Minnesota Lieutenant Governor, I think it was the Governor and the Lieutenant Governor, put out a statement declaring yesterday, Wolves Back

Day. Saw their pregame warm-up shirt said Wolves Back like, hey, we're finally back. In the Western Conference Finals? Just being good, I guess. Like Texas is back. Yeah, exactly.

So this is a state of Minnesota proclamation. And the backstory you need here. Wait, this is like in. In Minnesota. No, but a proclamation. Yeah, they actually put out like a thing. You know, you'll see this sometimes when it's like, hey, it's like Luka Doncic Day. You know, they have to put out like a document.

Or Olympic soccer is playing and they give you a permission slip to miss work that day. Right. Or the final four or something like that. So it's politicians finding out which way the wind is blowing. Hey, I think I can get everybody on board with this. So there are a number of different proclamations here. And it says, whereas, and I'll just read a little bit. Whereas basketball has a long ridge, blah, blah, blah. It starts with this. So there are a number of different proclamations here, and it says, whereas, and I'll just read a little bit, whereas basketball has a long, rich, blah, blah, blah.

It starts with basketball. Whereas reigning champs, Denver Nuggets. Whereas it's the first time in 20 years. Whereas Nas Reed. Whereas games one and two. Whereas young and old. Whereas at 730. Whereas Anthony Edwards.

Whereas sportsmanship and whereas sports. or Anthony Edwards, whereas sportsmanship and whereas sports. The first letter of all of those, like B-R-I-N-G-Y-A-A-S-S, spells out bring your ass, which is what Anthony Edwards said to Charles Barkley in the postgame the other night when Chuck was like, I haven't been to Minnesota in like 20 years. And Ant just goes, bring your ass. Okay. Dan, go to bringyourass.com. For real?

Yes. That's a thing? Yes. So if you're going to do governor sports bit or mayor sports bit, this is a pretty good one. And I would have obviously not known this, but somebody figured it out pretty quickly. Yeah. And it's not just like Wolves Up or, you know.

Yeah. You know, Texas hockey or something. Am I not spelling it right? Oh, no. It takes you to exploreminnesota.com. They bought the website. Bringyaass.com. Okay.

Yeah. That's a good bit. Yeah, that's a great bit. Wolves are back. Man, speaking of buying websites. What's going on, bud? Was that your meeting yesterday? No.

You know what? I thought I printed this. I guess I did not. In a viewer mail today, I was going to read this. Where was this website? It was from... Probably on the web. Okay, because it was a business Wednesday thing.

So one thing I was trying to do is go through some of our old emails that we've gotten throughout the whole year and either respond to them or just like, is there somebody that can help us? I think we've got enough people right now. Well, no. We can always use a little more help. And this guy named Ernie said, hey, Holmes, you've got to get your shit together on your

branding. Everybody's a branding expert. I work for 30- How about everybody's just a damn expert about everything? Jeez, dude. Well, compared to me, they may be. I worked for 30 years

at the Star-Telegram and left there to work in another print medium. This time, I focused on print marketing and branding. That's a burgeoning industry. I'd like to see you succeed

at what you want to do, blah, blah, blah. Oh, I take that back, man. He says, getting the bracketdan.com domain is a big priority. Why? I don't know.

So this is from Arnie, and he sent it last July 24th, and I went there yesterday, and it was bought last year. But I would like to hear from Arnie why that matters. Nobody calls you Bracket Dan. It's simply a Twitter handle. And if I wanted more information on you, I'm not going to BracketDan.com.

None of this makes any sense. This guy's a moron. That's outdated. No one does that anymore. Oh, okay. I thought he was great. I thought, hey, that's a good point, Arnie. I'm going to— Do I thought, hey, that's a good point, Arnie. I'm going to...

Do I need notjackkemp.com? Is that vital to our business operation? I think people know me more as Bracket Dan, though. Okay, but they're going to go to your Twitter or something. What would you put on BracketDan.com? Not HTTPS colon slash slash www.bracketdan.com. Does this guy know about social media? PPS colon slash slash www.bethesland.com.

Does this guy know about social media? I own kempsvin.com, but you're right. What have I done with it? Nothing. I don't know. I've owned it for four years. I'm just perplexed by the idea that we need to get our S together, and that is doing what people did in 1998, which is squat on a website.

Oh, Arnie. You beautiful son of a bitch. Oh, wait. Why am I doing that sports theme? Let's do this theme. Okay, yeah. I can't hear this enough. Basketball.

Give me, give me, give me the ball because I'm going to dunk it. NBC better let Tim come do that at least once. Yeah, they're working on it from what I've read. Nice. Oh, yeah? Want to talk basketball? Absolutely. It's pretty sweet, right?

So I had a – and I wasn't on a gummy or anything. But I finished the game this morning. Oh, I just assume that's the norm. But I watched three quarters last night, and then I just wanted to finish the game in the morning. So I did, but I was doing a pretty deep thought, like if a tree falls in a forest thing, did it happen? Did it make a noise right and no one's there to hear it um so i was like wait because i was doing something that was like oh

i gotta i gotta keep doing that because luca they just went on an 8-0 run okay and then i was thinking wait this game happened you know 12 hours ago it was or whatever hours ago it was finished. But maybe not. Maybe what I'm doing is affecting... I don't know that all these sports talk shows in Dallas have been talking about this game and talking about

a certain team that won this morning. Maybe whatever happens right now is affecting all of that. Because the world is my simulation. morning, maybe whatever happens right now is affecting all of that. No gummies? Because the world is my simulation. Uh-huh. You know, it all stems from me. And yes, I was not on a gummy, and there was no, I swear there's no residual from last

night's gummy or anything. But. I was prepared to say it was a great game, seven minutes left regardless. I would have been happy either way watching that game. Oh yeah. It was awesome. I think the main thought was the Mavs aren't hitting threes. They aren't missing threes.

Yeah. And you're still right here. You're neck and neck. You're tied. I thought it was funny when the broadcast brought that up. Like hey the Mavs gotta be thrilled to be in this game. I think they had three three makesmakes through the first three quarters. Whoever the SVG or

whoever said, yeah, but the Timberwolves got to be encouraged that they're in this game and their top scorers haven't been able to score. I'm like, the top scorers aren't scoring because they're getting clamped. The Mavericks are just missing shots. Which one of those two things feels more random?

I was looking for the I was trying to squint hard and find the next Michael Jordan. I was having difficulty seeing that. Yeah, he had a very I mean, he did go 5 of 12 from 3 but he couldn't get inside the arc. Lit it up late.

Yeah, which is when they took a boatload of 3s. He was gassed, man. I've never seen a man that young look that tired. Same. And I noticed it before they even brought it up on the broadcast. So was it running around trying to follow Kyrie?

It has to be. And then the couple times he guarded Luka, Luka just bullied him in the post. There's probably some residual carryover from the Denver series. Yeah, for sure. But yeah, it's from the Denver series. Yeah, for sure. But, yeah, it's the Mavs game plan for sure. He looked exhausted. Like there was one point where they had scored, the Mavs called a timeout,

and, like, I didn't know if he was going to make it to the bench. Yeah. He just looked extremely, extremely gassed. And wasn't he – didn't he supposedly light a fire like he was talking smack before the series? Like that he'll shut down Kyrie? I feel like that's been a little bit overblown because I watched the interview and pretty much all he said was, I'm going to get Kyrie. Okay.

Like he was looking forward to it. Yeah. And they asked Kyrie about it and he's like, yeah, I saw it, and I love it. He's a young man. You'll learn. How about first half Kyrie? Needed it. I thought of you.

The whole time. What do you think of me? My good value? He's got him for MVP. Yeah, but I'm the one that said that Kyrie's the last series. What? It extends. Oh, you mean for the rest of the playoffs?

Yeah. But yes, then, of course, during the third quarter, I'm like, oh my gosh, my MVP is slipping away here. Yeah. Like, okay, if we had to vote on a Western Conference MVP now, who wins? Kyrie. Probably Kyrie. You think?

Yeah. Okay, because Luka finished fairly strong and that's probably the money points, right? You'd rather have somebody scoring 15 in the fourth. But where would they be without his 24 in the first half?

Luka said down 20. He did in the post-game interview. Yeah, he's like, we'd probably be down 20. And they might have been. They couldn't buy anything from deep. Kyrie's got to be like the only guy in the league that can finish over Gobert. Like, Luka's not even trying that. And Luka's considerably bigger than Kyrie. Luka's like, all right, I'll step back and hit a midi.

I'm using midi now, by the way. Bring it. Do you use Hezzy? Or I'm going to – I'm not midi now, by the way. Bring it. Do you use Hesi? Or I'm going to... I'm not cool enough for Hesi. Blake's a Hesi guy. Yeah. Because he can do it. I'll drop that in. He's got to be the only one.

He was beating him down the court multiple times. He's a freaking joy to watch. Really nothing else like him. You like SVG coming out hot with the greatest backcourt in NBA history. That was, yeah, let's, I would even say probably slow down, but let's see.

He did say arguably, but honestly, if you think about it, Luka's going to go down as a top 10 player in the history of the game when all is said and done. I think he'll be a top five player ever. So wouldn't we call LeBron and Kyrie one of the greatest? Kyrie was – I don't know that Kyrie was quite –

do you think he's better now or better then? He was pretty young, wasn't he? He was young. He was raw. Yeah, probably now certainly he's a better player. But LeBron's more of a forward. Yeah, that's probably true. I mean, at the end of the game, they would play one and two,

but that's probably what it is. Because Luke is clearly the point guard. Steph and Klay was the first objection I thought of. Okay. And I'm sure there's probably something, you know, Lakers teams early on, well, like Magic and Worthy maybe. I'm deferring to you. I don't know.

Was Worthy a forward? No. I thought he was a two. I don't know, man. Okay. Maybe he was, but, yeah, I don't remember that. But, I mean, hey, SVG came out strong with it, and I started thinking, I'm like, you know, can't be that far off.

Okay. And he might have said offensive. I can't recall, but. SVG's okay. He's a bit clownish, but he's all right. I like him a lot. I like him more than his brother because he doesn't just bitch about basketball while being paid to watch basketball the whole time.

Well, basketball likes him more than his brother because he's got a job. I appreciate SVG next to Reggie Miller. I feel like he's... Because if it's just Reggie Miller, he beats me down. Oh, he's horrible. But at least SVG can take a little of Reggie's time. That's the worst thing about the Pacers making the conference finals. Because they're not going to have Reggie do a full series of Pacers games

so he gets stuck with this clown. Although it probably was predetermined, right? He is paying the TNT. I don't know. Did we get TNT the whole time? I think so. Yeah. Okay, because I hate when it jumps.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Here's an SVG bad bit. It's lively on top. Want to turn it down? Yeah. Bantich tried to wedge his way inside. It pulls up from 17. That drop coverage.

I know Donchich is not shooting it well. That drop coverage is not effective. You're over it. You're over it, right? I want to drop it. Great bit. Which later on, it was interesting because he was bitching about that for a while.

Their coverage on their pick and roll, right? And then later he's like, well, you know, clearly it seems to be like that's what they want to do because they're not allowing the three. So I don't know. Yeah, it's a mixed message for sure. I'm not as inside of a basketball knowledge man like he is. And then I have a Reggie Miller sick reference, if you'd like to hear it.

Please. Because I can't remember. Who was it last round somebody was referencing? Was it P.J. Washington is shooting like? It was Grain Hill and Ian. But the reference was like a player that we didn't – The Mavs and the – yeah, Mavs guy. Oh, it was Dale Ellis.

Dale Ellis. Yeah, averaged a three and a half per game. So I was trying to see if this was as bad of a reference as that. Corner three, McDaniels. What a point on Jaden McDaniels. He's out here looking like Ray Allen. I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one. So, like I said, at first I thought, is that akin to the terrible reference?

But yes, then as I go to internet, that's the number two all-time three-pointers made. Dude, he's Ray Allen. I didn't know where he did rank. Yeah, I couldn't have told you, too. You knew he was a good three-point shooter. But yeah, he's second only to Steph. In makes? In three-point shooter, but yeah, he's second only to Steph. In makes? In three-pointers made.

Yeah, I think if you ask a lot of people Jake and I's age, Ray Allen is a go-to for a three-point shooter. Yep. Yeah, 40% from three. And as I'm looking at this list, because it interested me, and I just wondered how many, you know, like it's all current players, obviously. Yeah. But.

Other than Ray Allen, we had three that are in the top 20 that are former Mavs. Dirk. We have Dirk. Peja. Jason Kidd.

And, oh, actually Jason Terry, but this doesn't, all right, I'll do Jason Terry, too. Yeah. Kid in the top? That surprises me. Dirk, Jason Kid, Jason Terry.

Hold on. Is it not Pasha? It's not Pasha. Okay. Okay. Can't be Vince. In three-pointers made, I'll tell you who it is.

It's J.J. Redick. Yeah, that doesn't count, but yeah, okay. But my game is put them in the order that they are in the top 20. We're doing... Who wants to be a millionaire? All right.

Redick number one. Okay. Do you want me to say whether you're right or wrong? Yeah. Because you're wrong. Okay. I mean, I don't... Yeah, I don't...

You don't want to play this game at all, do you? I mean, I would have thought Reddick would have been number one five names. You don't want to play this game at all, do you? I mean, I would have thought Redick would have been number one just because he played the most amount of his career in the modern era, and he was nothing but a running guard. That's all he did? Yeah. Well, I'll tell you. It's because you don't seem to want to play either.

I just got to sit down your ass. I'd go. I at least gave one. Dirk, Terry, Kidd. None of those... Those three are not all above Redick. There's no way. Well, I will say you're wrong.

About that? J.J. Redick is number 20 in the top 20. That's crazy to me. Of three-pointers name. Is that not crazy to you? Your logic sounds strong, but J.J. Redick also wasn't like... I guess he didn't start until Doc. He didn't play a lot.

Well, he started for the Magic. That team was in the conference finals. They were in the finals. 10th all-time in three-pointers made. Kid. Jason Terry. Oh. That's very surprising to me.

I guess this goes to show what longevity will do for you. 17th all-time in three-pointers made, Jason Kidd. 18th, Dirk. He has six fewer threes made than Jason Kidd, and I would never, ever have guessed that. No. That's the one that shocked me, and then Redick is 20th. Damn, I'm just whiffing all over the place.

Wasn't that fun? It was. It's the best time I've ever had. Thank you. Let's see. Anything else from the game? I'll give you one real quick, Blake. My favorite play so far of the Mavericks postseason,

I think they were either down two. It was a minute and a half, two minutes left in the game, and it was when they got an offensive rebound. I think it was lively because, of course, it was a minute and a half, two minutes left in the game, and it was when they got an offensive rebound. I think it was lively because, of course, it was. Got it back out to Luka. He had an opportunity for an open catch and shoot, planted three. And because he doesn't like those, he instead waited for the full defensive closeout

so that he could hit a contested step back, and he drilled it. That was funny how they highlighted that. That's the most cocky MF-er thing. He's got to be the only player in the league. Harden loves a step back, but Harden will also just absolutely bury anything, any way from beyond the arc. Yeah, that was a part.

Edwards hit a three to put him up four with three and a half left, and that was the next possession. Yeah. And then that plus the Luka breaking up the lob. That was awesome. And then going the other way and getting a bucket.

Do you want to hear Jason Kidd's humor on that? Always. All right. On Luka's lob pass breakup, if he can jump that high defensively, does that mean that

he has lob dunks and is on the offense or are you going to be calling him plays? Okay, so Tim Cato kind of set him up with a little comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Does that mean that he has lob dunks and is on the offense are going to be calling him plays. Okay. So Tim Cato kind of set him up with a little comedy. Yeah.

Yeah. Does that mean that, that he has flop dunks and is on the offense are going to be calling him plays. It's the Lucas shoes. It's gotta be the Lucas shoes. Those are special shoes. Like MJ has special shoes.

Luca has special shoes for his vertical. I don't know what he did at the combine for his vertical, but I don't think he wants us to know. Well, he'll let it know. Brady did the the combine for his vertical. I don't think he wants us to know. He'll let us know. Brady did the 40-yard dash. That was known. You heard what I heard?

Oh, no. I thought he almost. The way he ran his words together, I thought we were about to get it inward. The combine for his vertical. I don't think he wants us to know. He'll let us know. They already did. It's got to be the Luka shoes.

And then I have one more kid piece of audio for you here. This is from, obviously, last night's postgame. I mean, the last time you guys were in the conference finals, you were playing against a team that had won three championships to that point. This time you can make the argument you guys are the more experienced team. Your two best players are the more experienced players. Do you think that played a part in the poise you guys played with late in the game tonight? Yeah, we're the underdogs, so we're just going to embrace that role.

Okay, so that's the operative. We're the underdogs. Yeah. About a minute later. Do you really believe you guys are the underdog or is that coach speak? First of all, was he going to be like, no, I don't believe that. That's coach speak.

But don't tell my guys. Do you really believe you guys are the underdog or is that coach speak? That's media speak. How Stephen slash Beavis is this? What if it's objective numbers speak? Who won more games? Call Vegas.

Yeah, Vegas. Who won more games? What's the seeding? Do they just do seeding? You know the building Vegas. Who won more games? What's the seeding? Do they just do seeding? You know the building we're in tonight, right? Do they do seeding based on what media thinks? You know how it's not in Dallas? Yeah. My favorite play that won't ever be on a highlight reel?

Is it one that was a key play that I might have missed? No. Oh. It was a... I tried. It was the Luka awesome pass that Josh Green couldn't finish. Oh, good God. Josh really pissed me off last night.

See, I thought you were going to say... He almost fouled a three-point shooter at the end of the game. He almost did. My God, yeah. And he's done stuff like that so many times where he doesn't call a timeout. I think he hit... Just weird. Did he hit one of the threes?

I don't remember. I thought he did. The hero out of bounds. He hit one three last night, I'm pretty sure. But he... I thought he had a terrible game. Yeah, it was rough. They don't have anywhere to go, though.

No, I'm not saying that's a bad decision. I'm just saying he had a bad game. They tried Exum, and they were like, well, come on back over here. He's on the team. Did he play in the last series? No. Very rarely. I don't know if he did at all last series. Did he? Early. Did he play in the Clippers series?

Yeah. Okay. They went to Hardy early. Hardy took Exum's minutes. Hardy played last night, too. Hardy also takes some from Hardaway, which I think we're all okay with. Yeah, I think that's fine. Jaden McDaniels, I thought when he was lighting it up, that shows you how tough it is,

or how tough it must have been for the opponent when P.J. Washington is lighting it up. Yeah, you're like, what the hell? I'm trying to stop all these other stars that I've heard of, and now you. But I think that's what Kidd wants to do. Make him win it? Yeah, because he's obviously showing that Cat and Anthony Edwards

is not going to lead. So yeah, if Kyle Anderson wants to shoot, by all means. Cat's name is weird to me just because... I always think his last name is Anthony Towns. Yeah, it's pretty rare.

Yeah, I don't think I knew that. Really? It's Carl Anthony. Oh, okay. Yeah, because the jersey says Towns. You're right. And you're like, wait, no, wait. That doesn't make sense.

Why don't you just be Carl? Look at this baby. His name is Carl. He's Carl Anthony. What did you, speaking of Anthony Towns, the goaltending or basket interference or whatever. I thought that was a weird call. It was going to hit the rim.

It might have. Does it have to be in the cylinder or does it have to be one millimeter? It has to have a chance to hit. Which I thought it did. Yeah. You just never know. Like with the trajectory. Yeah.

It looked touch. It looked like you wouldn't have been upset if they said that's not that. But the refs did the right thing. They called it basket interference so they could challenge it. Yeah. Because if you don't call it, can't look at it. And then they looked at could challenge it. Yeah, because if you don't call it, can't look at it. And then they looked at it and confirmed, but...

Yeah. But also, if you call something, does it need, like, more evidence than just... That's the downfall, yeah. Well, the good thing for the Mavs. Here's the only reason

that I thought it was going to stay, because the second it happened, Luka went nuts. The second that he flushed it, Luka's on... Yeah, but Luka does that all the time. I know, but... It's like when Kyrie was complaining about a foul,

I was like, that must have been a foul because Kyrie doesn't complain. Yeah, about a foul, I understand, but that's like a technical rules observation and he was right underneath the basket, you know? Like a foul, he's going to complain about it no matter what. But that, like, he was standing underneath the rim and that made me think, like, alright, well's going to complain about it no matter what. But that, like he was standing underneath the rim,

and that made me think like, all right, well, if basketball IQ guy thinks it was a flagrant thing. But that's certainly a thing that if you're on the Timberwolves side. By the way, that name sucks, right? Timberwolves? I like it. The Wolf Howl? I don't like it.

I don't mind it. I don't know. Like, let's go wolves. It just doesn't sound right when they're doing that chant. Are you more afraid of a horse or a wolf? Well, he's not afraid

of a bobcat. I got email on that. Yeah, we'll get to that. It's 25 pounds. We're going to get one. Go ahead. Yeah, we're going to get a 25-pound bobcat.

We're going to do the bobcat challenge. And we're going to put you in a room with it. Fine. We're going to see what happens. I'll whip its ass. Yeah. we're going to get a 25-pound Bobcat, and we're going to put you in a room with it. Fine. We're going to see what happens. I'll whip its ass. Yeah. And then how about this?

Okay. Okay. Right after I sit you down. Did you guys see the end of the Pacers game, game one? Yeah. And Carlisle totally took it on himself, and he's right. He's right. That was a disaster.

That could have been the Mavs last night. Very, very close. They should have called a timeout to advance the ball. Like kind of the exact same thing. Yeah. Like what was it? How much time? I can't remember how much was left.

But they inbound the ball under the basket. They have a timeout. So they didn't advance the ball. And then they get that thing intercepted. It was so close. Oh, you're talking about PJ's pass? Yeah. Oh my gosh. And then that's where I almost wanted

it to happen so that we could see the difference in demeanors in the press conference between Kidd and Carlisle. Because Jason Kidd has never accepted responsibility for anything. This is the first thing I thought when I heard Rick the other night. Because usually – And, like, he had some players make some boneheaded plays too.

Yeah, throughout the game. Oh, sure. And even sort of at the end. But it was – ultimately he made a bad decision. And, you know, Kidd would have been like, you know, I'm just – Oh, you guys. I guess you – I'm sitting here like you are.

You experts are – Yeah. You guys are – Get on Twitter. The thing I had from last night was coming off of the Thunder series and coming off of watching Lou Dort bully Luka for a series. You know, we heard about how good McDaniels was defensively. And maybe he is just trying to force people to go bare,

but I was surprised at how well Luka and Kyrie was able to get around him. Pretty easily. Or through him. Yeah. And maybe he does just want to force people to go bear, but I was not really that impressed. No, and the other thing, too, is that, I mean, they can even sort of neutralize go bear as,

that drop coverage. Because if he has to come up Lively's just going to dunk it. Lively was the best big on the floor. With Carl Anthony Towns and Gobert out there. Yeah, he's incredible.

He really is, man. And he's getting crunch time minutes. He's closing now. They'll never start him in the playoffs. I mean, next year he's going to start. Why won't they start him? Just because they're in this groove? Yeah.

And Gaffer's not terrible. No, he had a couple mental mistakes last night, which Luka denied him a high five for. Oh, really? That was tough. I don't think Luka saw him, but there's nothing worse than looking for a little skin from your bro.

Yeah, I mean, he'll start next year, but right now, dude, I don't know if you want to start. Let's say they make the finals and they're like, let's switch it up. Let's put the 20-year-old in the starting lineup for the first time in three months. Yeah, no, but it matters who's in there with two minutes left. Yeah. And he's in there, although

that is a time they can hunt him to try and foul. It really shocks me that Gafford set the NBA record for most consecutive field goals made. Because if that guy's not dunking, I feel like he misses so many around the rim. Well, that's because he's dunking. I'm just learning that he set the record. When did he set that? Earlier this season.

Oh, really? Yeah, he didn't miss for like 30... 28, 29, 30? Yeah, something like that. Damn. I wanted to play Kyrie on the TNT postgame show. He gave him like eight minutes. He went up to the set. Which I don't like the set

being there. No, it's just too loud. Way too loud. Yeah. And I think they wanted to let Kyrie go, but Barkley demanded a final question. I think they said, hey, we'll keep you for five minutes, but Barkley kept him. But I thought his answer on why Kyrie feels like he's become a leader

was awesome because I think it's like exactly what you were saying about Kyrie yesterday, Dan. I got one more question for you. Jeez, Chuck. This is my time of the Dan. I got one more question for you. Jeez, Chuck. This is my time of the year when I like an serious basketball question. We have to be respectful. I understand, but this is an important question, though.

Everybody on this team talks about you being a leader now. Facts. Do we need the facts from Draymond? You didn't like the Draymond fax? You're being a leader now. Fax. Cut that off. They talk about like this guy has been a leader.

And you said something earlier. You said none of these guys really, the young guys on your team, been in the Western Conference Finals. Yeah. When did that switch kick on to you? You're like, you know what? I'm the only one who won a championship I've got to be a leader when did when did you figure it out?

I'll say last summer when we got exited from the playoff contention And I'm watching my peers go for you know a chance to win the golden trophy man that big thing It's just you get motivation from failure and you get inspired And I was watching playoffs at home, and I was taking little notes on some of the greatest leaders in our league. You know, Draymond's one of them. You know, we got guys that are really the backbone of their team and they do the little things that don't show up in the stat sheet for their teams to win. So for me this year, I really just focused on doing the little things. And if my points came, they came.

But I wanted to make sure we felt good as a team after every single game. And we got to be honest with each other we had a lot of long meetings with jay kids sometimes it felt like therapy you know getting guys to talk getting guys to talk i mean getting males to talk about in a competitive sport is hard sometimes you know so i felt like we had a good gelling group and then we went through a crucial trade in the middle of season where we got pj and gaff and then from there it was the sky's the limit once i saw we had a chance, I was like, well, I'm not going to take this for granted. So every single day I'll remind those guys what it's like to fail, what it's like to get to that mountaintop, be very close, and then fail.

This guy sitting next to me, we got two rings. So for me, I use that as motivation and try to encourage my guys as much as I can. Congratulations. That was a hell of a question. Thank you, Luka. Luka with 30. And then on to it. But the Mavs run this year doesn't happen

unless they miss the playoffs last year. Well, yeah, in large part because they wouldn't have Lively. That's true. But I know what you're saying, though. But, yeah, and then even why is Kyrie working here? And like Dan said, maybe it took the Nets' failure and everything that he had to go through to ready himself for now. Yeah, it took demanding out of Cleveland.

Uh-oh. No, but I mean, then he sees it's great to run second banana to a player that's even better than me. But he was the young guy. Well,. But he was the young guy. Well, yeah, he was the young guy then. And now he kind of sees, perhaps he saw that he didn't like the way LeBron was dealing with him.

Yeah. Day to day. Learn from your parents. Yeah. What to do, what not to do. And so now maybe that's helped shape him on how to deal with, you know, Luca. Because he saw, you know, he's seen a lot. You know, he went to Boston, tried to just kind of, I want to be the guy.

But then that kind of blew that up. He saw having full control over everything, including practices. And when flights take off in New Jersey, and that blew up. And maybe he just saw the effect of that on other players, maybe not him and KD, you know, because that's usually guys like that kind of have their act together and they know how to prepare and be great. But maybe he realized maybe a little coaching is necessary for others.

You know? Maybe, you know, I don't know. Yeah, it makes sense. But whatever he's done has led him to be the person he is now. But, I mean, Jake has said this a lot. It seems like he's the adult in the room. He has to be. And he is.

I mean, he's pulling these guys aside. And we were talking about why did Luka all of a sudden not complain at the refs that one game? Right. Probably this guy. It's absolutely that guy. He mentions it a lot, too. I listen to all of his post-game press conferences and he kind of gives like a subtle nod all the time of like, yeah, we know

when he keeps his composure is when he's at his best. Like, kid came in and told him that stuff. But Luka doesn't care about Jason Kidd, but this guy who's on the floor doing that stuff right now, like this amazing player, like that, and

that couldn't have been with Jalen Brunson, you know, because they came in together. Yeah. So this, you know, and it couldn't have, you know, you brought in Porzingis, but he was too young as well to, you know, this is all, I can't believe it's working. They had a sideline report about Kyrie and Luca.

He's been incredible, and we can't undervalue the effect of Kyrie Irving on him. I spoke to him today about that, and he said he's just a great person. We hang out all the time, long dinners. You see, he's actually made me realize that life can be more than just basketball. He said, it's hard for me to step away from the game. After NBA play, I go play for my national team and basketball is 24-7, but he said to disconnect from it

has really helped me mentally. And then also the energy that Kyrie Irving takes off of him offensively has allowed him to focus more on his defensive game, something that he has more recently taken pride in. I didn't even think of that throughout all of that stuff. For sure. Last couple years, people were like,

he should be playing more defense. I'm like, how? Yeah, and it's not just like Kyrie is taking some offensive load so Luka can just rest. Like he's then using more of that, you know. That was the stop of the game when he blocked the lob to Gobert. But yeah, as a Kyrie, Homer, and apologist, it's amazing

that probably Kyrie's biggest impact here in Dallas is off the floor. I would agree. And yes, considering where he came from, that is an incredible turnaround. And also I'll say, Uncle Drew, pretty funny. It is. It's not bad.

Last thing, our buddy Iz Talk we wrote a column this morning for D Magazine and he and I were DMing back and forth and he brought up something that I think we all know but I hadn't really committed to my mind which is this is an awesome

opportunity for this team because it's probably not going to get easier after this. What do you mean? The conference. The Spurs. If you just look at – The Thunder. The Spurs, the Thunder, the Timberwolves are not going to get worse most likely.

Maybe you see some slippage from the Nuggets because they seem to be having some internal problems. The Suns kind of suck, but they missed the playoffs anyways. It just seems like right now this is an opportunity that they will kick themselves five years from now if it doesn't at least result in a finals championship and probably in a championship. The Thunder are not going to get worse for the next 10 years.

The Spurs have probably the guy who will be the MVP every other year as soon as three years from now. He made first team all defense as a rookie the first time that's ever happened. You just look at Kyrie's 30-31.

I don't know. Their team is going to be together next year, but this is perfect. The team you have to beat to go to the NBA Finals is the Timberwolves. It's not the Warriors. People that are smart

basketball people say the Timberwolves built their team to beat Denver. 100%. They're just maybe not equipped to Smart basketball people say the Timberwolves built their team to beat Denver. A hundred percent. And that they're just maybe not equipped to beat Dallas. I mean, we hope that's the case. Yeah, it's one game, but I'll take a game where you have made three threes heading into the fourth quarter and you win on the road every time. It's just one game, but the Mavs felt like the better team on the floor.

For sure. Sports. All sure. Sports. All right, sports. We're going to start sprinkling in some LiveSpot stuff. Oh, yeah? Cool. Open? For?

Business? Yeah. We're doing business? Yeah, we have a couple people that are already on board or even like just yeah we will be on board soon and we've mentioned before you know my guy chas at prosper ford or eatsies or all pro foundation repair but frankl and frankl are definitely in and um like I thought of this this morning, the perfect plan if you want to support the dumb zone is you go to Grapevine Ford or Prosper Ford,

you buy an F-150, you go buy Eatsies for a salmon burger, and then you get in an accident on your way home. And then immediately what you do is you call Frankel and Frankel. Yeah. It's easy to remember, right? 214, all threes, or 817, like they got those numbers. So that's pretty sweet.

I don't know how they did that. Now, is the salmon okay in this situation? Well, you might have gotten in the accident because someone else in the other vehicle was eating a salmon burger. Okay. And they shouldn't be eating that on the way home. No. Right?

And so, you know, insurance companies will try to take advantage of you. Frankel & Frankel will fight for your rights. I mean, insurance companies, you know, they don't want to pay out. No. They'll just try to settle. Frankel & Frankel, they're in it for you. They're Dallas-based as well. And so it's 214 all threes.

You'll talk to a partner when you call. Did you know that? I didn't. Not an automated line or anything? No, not like, yeah. Gene Burkett.

Good dude. Yeah. Great dude. We've broken bread. We have. Although I don't think I had any bread or anything. You don't eat a lot of bread.

I don't remember what I ate. But that's neither here nor there. So remember, buy that grapevine Ford, go to Eatsies, get your house repaired, and get in an accident. How do we work in the – I got you. Perhaps there's a situation that the car that crashed into you causing you to need to call 817 or 214, all threes, they were upset because their foundation was so jacked up, and they called one of these fly-by-night foundation companies, did the job poorly, didn't get a lifetime guaranteed warranty.

So they're out there just on the road. They crash into your grapevine Ford. What do you do the second you get in an accident like that? You feel you're injured. Do the thing where they're really mad again. I don't think he really sold it. I didn't get the feeling that the

guy was mad. I don't do that when I drive. Probably mad internally. It sounded like though he was trying to explain to his four-year-old daughter when somebody's mad, they go, So what you do when you get in the accident is you call the number. Dummy.

All right. Want to listen to some cool, fun audio that relates to today in history? Sure. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me and the Cleveland Browns as we welcome ABC television star and Cleveland native Drew Carey to help us welcome the Browns back to Cleveland. Thank you. I want to send a message, a message to everyone who ever made fun of Cleveland, a message to anyone who ever told a Cleveland joke or laughed at a Cleveland joke. You can now officially shut up! We're here to play football, baby! And if you came here to get mellow, you can turn

around and get out! Because Cleveland rocks, am I right? Cleveland rocks! Cleveland rocks! You're listening to The Dumb Zone. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. Give me one of these. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone.

Is my audio bad there? What's going on? I'll fix it. Jeez. You'll have to fix it? Yeah, I'll just throw a better one over it. No puppet! The people want that.

Yep. Where do we start now with what we just did during that break? I think we have to talk about it. Yeah, I mean, I thought the pizza was fantastic. Pizza was great. Yeah, it laid out by the pool. That was awesome. Send that over to you, Blake.

But how about the drone delivery? So, yeah, apparently... Northwich and Hills, it turns out, is the city of the future. I can't believe the technology they have here. But I think they did this especially for us. They had drone delivery from their local walmart and apparently this is uh available all all over all over dfw okay so your house for sure your house for sure yeah and you guys have done this a couple times before

it was pretty awesome. Yeah, I have mixed feelings. The drone flew over us. It got down near the ground, dropped a little. So they just ordered a bottle of water from Walmart. Just to show us. There's no minimum? Yeah, not yet.

It's still in beta. But I mean, how much payload could it actually transfer though? Like 50? Okay. Yeah, because I don't know. You know I'm anti-drone. I do. Long-stated opinion of mine.

I don't think we need them. So in the future, they're just going to be hundreds of drones up there? That's my first thought when I saw it up there. It was like, this is now. By the time my kid is my age, they'll just be everywhere all the time. And is it always filming or could you just shoot it out of the sky? Both. Like, do you remember the, what was the robot story that somebody wanted this robot to travel across America?

The Philadelphia robot. The robot that died in Philadelphia. The kindness robot. Yeah, and died in Philadelphia. The kindness robot. Yeah, and somebody beat the hell out of it. It actually traveled across all of Canada or something. No problem. And then the first city it started in, Philadelphia, someone destroyed it. Kicked the shit out of it.

And that's what's going to happen if a drone comes into your yard. You're just going to destroy it. Yeah, I may have to. I don't think a shotgun would get the job done, but I may have to get. You might get your own drone to take it out. No, I don't want to participate in this. It was very, very cool, but I don't think we need this. I don't think we need.

One of the dudes was telling me at Mariners games now, they'll have drones fly over your seat and drop you a hot dog. Wow. Not wow. That's awesome. That's horrible. You don't have to go wait in line? You don't have to walk up seven stairs to go get your hot dog?

It's not the walking, it's the waiting. Were you upset when they had like a dryer was invented? You're like, I got a string. I just hang my clothes on it. Yeah, that's pretty much the same thing. It's technology, man. Not every single technology. Okay.

I'm just saying 50 years from now, your kid will be like, how did we ever go to the store? Yeah, and the odds... He was reluctant to give up his horse. The odds that my dryer can collect information on me and monitor my movements at all times. I thought you're the one who said

don't worry about whatever app you get. Pretty low. Okay, an app like, oh, my credit card information, my Walgreens purchases because I have a rewards program. You don't think it's a little bit different to constantly have aerial surveillance

at that degree all the time? You're holding surveillance in your pocket all day. Okay. You think that's the same? I'm just saying there's steps to everything. And that one feels like a little much. Okay, then what is it? It feels more intrusive that they know your every step,

like you as a person. They have a profile on you. I think that's more intrusive than them knowing where you are. That doesn't... That's two-dimensional. But the fact that they can create a profile and know exactly how to target you with ads... I'm not worried about

ads. I'm worried about being able to get away with crimes. Okay. That's at the heart of it. He wants to have an affair or something. Or kill someone. You do want to have crime because you won't share your location with Find My Phone with us.

Danny, that's a good point. Yeah. Blake and I share our location. Yeah, which sent Dan to the wrong house today. Really weird. That's right, yeah. The technology isn't perfect. Really weird.

I went to the neighboring cul-de-sac and started walking up to the door. And yeah, no one was home there. That's probably good. Yeah. The one thing I want to make sure cul-de-sac and started walking up to the door. And yeah, no one was home there. That's probably good. The one thing I want to make sure we get done today. Especially because I just walked in here. Yeah, I knocked. And I just walked in.

It's amazing how much... He went right for open these cookies. Yeah, Dan just makes himself at home at these remotes. Put my apple in your fridge. I think the people love it. I said, hey, I'm not... Do the people love it or not? And he always makes them clap for him.

Don't support him. What were they going to do? Lay out? If they didn't love it, they'd be like, man, this guy's rude. They don't think I'm rude. They think it's great. They invited me in to enjoy this food. You knock on the door, and I kind of just try to stay where they want us, but Dan fires

his shirt off. People want to be the first one to go right into the pizza. Yeah, he's laying out shirtless in the backyard. He fires his shirt off and laid on their chairs. With a big piece of pizza. Yeah. That's what they want. Look how happy they are.

Oh, they're also drunk. So, had baseball yesterday. A lot of progress made from week one to week two. Throwing it home now. So, that's good. From the mound? A real ball? Here's what I found out.

I think the ball is actually heavier. Yeah. It's just squishy. Okay. But I have something that I need to add to this. I don't know exactly when we're doing this. I said three months initially. We'll see.

That's fine with me. I trust Blake. I want Blake as he was the day that I made that proclamation and I know he's still going to beat the brakes off of me I don't want him going to the cages a week before because he's like I just got to make sure I pound this guy I mean he

plays softball every week so he's already swinging the bat I mean you're just in the mode of swinging the bat yeah when it's 83 painting the corner? You're not throwing 83 miles an hour. I don't know if he could get to 63. I don't think you guys understand.

The problem is not that I can't wing the S out of it. You're 38 years old and you never played baseball. I don't think he can hit 70. I'll give him 60s. Okay. Okay. Alright, whenever we do this bit, we got a gun there?

They have a gun now. They have it on you. We haven't used it, but they have it. Do they have stat cast for how far my home run will go? Yeah. Exit velo? Yeah. Launch angle? Horizont Exit velo? Yeah. Yeah. Launch angle? Horizontal movement for me?

I need automatic balls and strikes because I don't want a funny business with the umpire. I like the human element. Yeah, I bet you do. I've always said that. Hey, while we're talking pitching, this is extremely random that it just worked out this way,

but I saw a Twitter fight I wanted to tell you guys about. So you know Trevor Bauer? Yeah. So he went to Japan to try to rejuvenate his career. He got demolished, and now he's pitching in Mexican leagues. I thought he did okay in Japan. He didn't. I mean, I guess I stopped paying attention.

Compared to Cy Young caliber guy he used to be? No, the first couple starts he got destroyed. Yeah. Just warming up. Didn't keep up. So I'm not here to get into the whole Trevor Bauer, did he consent and should he be reinstated? That's not my lane.

He is a very incendiary personality on social media. He'll fight you. And that works out for him because the women who have accused him also want to fight him on Twitter and then they just play this whole thing out back and forth and he's like, I can't say anything because it was a signed agreement. Well, then they fight in the bedroom

too, right? That's their bit. There you go. Yes. So, are you guys familiar with the awesome Twitter account Pitching Ninja? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fantastic. I think I first probably got onto him during the U Darvish Rangers era. He was the guy who would overlay like seven different U pitches

that all looked the exact same based on delivery coming out of his hand. Well, that was the first pitcher the Rangers had that was capable of making that account. Making Pitching Ninja. Yes. Okay. He's awesome. All he does is break down crazy, crazy pitching performances

and kind of tells you a little bit about it. So he actually has a partnership with MLB. And so let's trace this all the way back to, there's a movie, do you guys know the movie Bench Warmers? I feel like that would be. Rob Schneider? Yes.

Okay. I'm familiar. And Napoleon Dynamite. In his little run? Yeah. John Heater? I don't know that he wanted more. Really?

Yeah. I mean, they're just like a, small town, Mormon guy. I thought he was that he wanted more. Really? Yeah. I mean, they're just like a small town Mormon guy. I thought he was trying to get big. Maybe. I don't know. I never got the sense that any of those guys were like, let's get really famous.

Okay. I know Kip did. Could be wrong. No. So apparently, I don't even know what this means because I haven't seen the movie, but it's a baseball movie. And I think there's some sort of sword celebration. know what this means because I haven't seen the movie, but it's a baseball movie. And I think there's some sort of sword celebration. Like if you have a, I don't know. It's like

you're, what is it? Like the Seve Ballesteros? Is that what he does with the club? No, no. It wasn't Seve. That's probably racist. It was another... Chichi. Chichi Rodriguez. Yes. He would make a putt and act like, yeah, like the engine. Engine? I actually call them Native Americans. No, no. I'm talking about the guy in Shogun.

The engine? The engine. Not the engines. But cornerbacks will do that now. They'll do the sheath their sword or whatever? Yeah, after they break up a pass or whatever, they'll do that. Yeah. And then they sniff their finger?

That's wide receivers. Yeah. So anyways, there's some line for this movie where somebody's trying to hit, and he's hitting like he's with a sword and says, don't chop at it, you're not a sword. So I'm telling you this to tell you, that Pitching Ninja will put out these videos and even has an extremely, as he admits,

informal made-up stat called swords. Oh, yeah, yeah. You've seen this? Like if you're flailing away at something? Typically, like if you're swinging at a slider or something and you're just completely fooled. Yeah. Yes.

It looks like you're hacking at a slider or something and you're just completely fooled yeah yeah yes it looks like a you're hacking a sword yeah um and so uh here's where this gets weird so uh there's a stat on mlb like i said that uh rob friedman i think is his name from uh pitching ninja posts up there it's called swords and uh And Trevor Bauer used to do the sword celebration after he got somebody to do it. Like if he got somebody to commit the sword, he would do the sword. Free Japan. This is like seven, eight years,

or five, six years ago. Yeah, for sure. Over there, they might have... Yeah. So some guy tweeted Trevor Bauer, and he's like, didn't at Pitching Ninja come up with this? Looks like he got credit, like replying to Trevor Bauer, because Trevor Bauer was trying to claim that he came up with the sword.

Okay. He said, it's my thing, but if it helps bring more fans in, it's fine. They can try to make it their thing and not give me credit. Definitely not the first time it's happened. It won't be the last. So when this guy said this, he says, benchwarmers came up with it. I popularized it in 2021 when Pitching Ninja worked for me. Then three years later, he partnered with MLB and made a stat and gets the credit.

But people are smarter than that. They know where it actually started. and gets the credit, but people are smarter than that. They know where it actually started. So Rob Friedman replied, Dude, I've been doing this since at least 2017 and popularized it here for all crappy swings long before you did your K-strut. You know that.

In fact, you told me you did your K-strut due to my using the word sword, and yes, it is derived from benchwarmers. So maybe you'd be like... So that's Pitch from benchwarmers. So maybe you'd be like... So that's Pitching Ninja guy. Yeah, maybe you'd be like, this is a real he said, she said here. What is this dork on the internet

who writes about pitching? What's his axe to grind here? He's probably wrong. I'm going to go with Trevor Bauer. He's the one actually doing the K strut for the sword. And then Pitching Ninja posted this. The sword? The sword I did premeditate i was i uh yeah i've been watching pitching ninja sword videos so long they're on

twitter constantly it's hard to miss them like someone's got to do it and uh i was brainstorming with a couple buddies of mine and we came up with that i was like oh i'll pull it out he just flat out said yeah i started doing it after i was watching Pitching Ninja. You publicly said. That's like a dugout interview. What, 10 years ago or something? Yeah, about that. Or whenever. The sword did premeditate. I've been watching Pitching Ninja sword videos.

He just actually said it. Don't they have, like, isn't there terms for that? Over time, you actually believe the lie that you've told many times? Yeah, and I don't know that it's, it happens even if you're not lying, like with just memory. Yeah, and maybe he's not, yeah, maybe not consciously lying, but he's done it for so long.

Yeah, but then he came out and had like this very specific, you know, I came up with it and popularized it when he was working for me. So how has he responded to that? He has not, at least at my last check. Let's set this one out. That's an all-time receipt right there.

That's awesome. How would you find that? Well, I follow Rob. And so he was like, dude, I don't, he's like, I don't really care about this, but it is weird for you to say

that, you know, I stole something from you and I worked for you, which I didn't, and I have this video where you said you got it from me. So I don't think

it's being petty to be like, all right, I'm at least going to post the proof that you're just making all this up. Rob did take a chance to be like, you know, if he's lying about this... Oh, no. Ah, I wonder if we can

buy everything. That's great. Hey, everybody. It's time to answer some of today's viewer mail. I know you guys have a bunch. I have just a couple birthdays. Including

someone named Andrea Allshaus. Okay. Emailed me a while back. Wonder where she lives. And yes, it is Chris's 40th birthday. Chris! Is it today? Wow!

Is it today? I haven't seen any signage to indicate. Dude, you know how it is. Sometimes people leave that up for like a week. Like maybe his birthday is Saturday, you know, and they put it up. I feel like a lot of people when they turn 40 get a solid week of burn out of that. Male or female.

We had a neighbor that had the lordy, lordy, look who's 40. And I threatened my wife, like, that better not happen when I turn 40. What do they do for 60 if we're still doing this thing? Nothing rhymes with that. What do they do for 50? Nifty? Anyway, I don't publicly do birthdays

because I'm not 12. But front yard publicly. You know, like in here and everything. That's one thing. Boy, walk that back quick after just making fun of the guy who paid us to be out

here today. We do that stuff at our house, and especially for the kids, you know? He's not a kid, though. Well, he has kids. Okay. No. Don't you do stuff at your house and your kids like celebrating your birthday and stuff? Uh, no.

Oh, no? All right. Anyway, I got a couple other birthdays. And yeah, I'll walk back whenever I have to. Keep money flowing. To make the folks happy that I'm eating all their food and laying on their pool furniture. I've got Uncle Hottie. My Nick Van Exel birthday is on Business Wednesday.

Hit me up with a shout out. Because I have key feedback regarding the next Doug Townsend conversation. Why didn't you just put it in the email? Well, then he kind of did. You have to ask him to elaborate on why he walked out on the first pod he appeared on. Also, let's hear if he was ever married. Why he's currently single. I'm sure the answers will be wild ass gold.

Just the right amount of Blake. More kiddo talk. My girls are the same age as Jake's kids. From day two, DF Paul. All right. Okay. Go ahead, Jake. Talk about your kids.

How old are they? Five and one and a half. I thought she was four. Go ahead, Jake. Talk about your kids. How old are they? Five and one and a half. I thought she was four. Did I just miss the birthday party? I think I said four the other day, and I couldn't remember. She turned five. You were there. I was?

Yeah. All right. See? I don't think we want more kid talk. A lot of questions about death and heaven. That's what we're dealing with right now? Yeah, and it's a battle because obviously I'm not religious. Some of my in-laws are.

And we sat down to eat the other day, and she goes, wait, let's pray. And I've never heard that in my life. I was like, sweetheart. Where'd she get that? What do you think? And I just said, sweetheart, I don't pray. And she said, is it because this is a meal and not dinner? I don't know that she knows this.

And I was like, no, I just don't pray. I was like, you can if you want. And she's like, well, we pray at fill in the blanks house. And I said, well, then you can do it over there and you're free to do it. But your dad doesn't pray. And my wife kind of looked at me like, boy, that was pretty direct. I just flat out told her.

I was like, that's not something dad does. Do you shit on Santa Claus too? Okay. Dude running an end around to make me the guy who's anti-religion, although he's the one comparing it to fairy tales. So it's just a lot of like, did the dinosaurs go to heaven? It's a lot of that

right now, man. Did they? Answer that. I don't know the answer to that. No, I don't think animals do. I don't think so. What about Kip and Bodhi? Are they going to go? Absolutely not.

Are they going to hell then? Yeah, they go to hell. It's not just that they don't go anywhere. Yeah, they actually go to hell. That's what my little brother was told. My son took a fall the other day. Dude, I'll mark this down. Okay.

We're going to the emergency room before the end of summer. I know it. I absolutely know it. He's had too many falls already in the last three weeks where he's just running apeshit crazy. Maybe he runs into a slightly wet spot on the floor. Or he's playing. The backyard has a lot of concrete in it.

And he's just running like a freaking madman. He's way too active for a kid that age i've never seen anything like it i'm my daughter was not like this and i've been around about i have one friend whose kid might have been like this it's it's insane dude you've seen it yeah he's a wild man we're in trouble. In the next few months. And that concludes Kid Talk. I remember we did... I remember going to the emergency room when Ava was about two

because we went down to Parr Park. You ever go down to Parr Park? Of course. Love Parr Park. Parr Park, Meadowmere, Wall Ball. See, if you stayed living over here, you'd know all these things. Yeah. We just got spare parks out east.

It's just the old aluminum or whatever. Dirt. Yeah. It's a run-down car out in the middle of a field. Used to be a nice ball field, but now it's just like the backstop and just grass. Out at Blake's Park, it's one of those old cars and they just give kids sledgehammers. Like they're at a carnival. This was a fight with me and my wife back then because I'm the one that caused her to go to the emergency room. In a way.

I mean, she wouldn't listen to me is what I'm saying. Uh-huh. No. So, just a little violence humor to me, is what I'm saying. Uh-huh. No. So, just a little violence humor. Yeah, yeah, I got it. I got you. Childhood violence humor for the kids.

No, we were at the park, and I wanted, you know, she always wants to do more, you want to, like, let her do some things on her own a little bit. You know? No, she wants to try and walk on this thing.

Anyway, she fell. And, like, I shouldn't have been letting a kid that age do that, I guess. And she was trying to balance, and she bit

through her tongue on both sides, you know. And then we had to get to the emergency room because it was, like, pouring blood out. Yeah.

I could see that happening. I don't think he's... I don't think he sees 18 with all of his... Well... Like if I had kept holding her hand as she was walking on this tenuous thing, yeah, but then she kind of wanted to do it on her own, and I was like, okay, let's just see.

You mean he's going to lose a tooth early. Yeah. Yeah. Brooks is cursing. Hmm. How'd that happen? I don't know if it was him watching. Was I talking to you and you were on speakerphone?

No. I think he overheard me playing Xbox. Oh, God. What'd you say? Is he racist now, too? No. No. We have a little basketball goal in his playroom,

and when he shoots and misses, he'll say, oh, damn it. And it's not for us. Just damn it? Yeah, we worked the F word out of his vocabulary. He was saying F? Yeah. Like what? Where'd he get that?

I was watching Mavs and Thunder no game six i was sensing that sga was about to get every foul call and i just lost my head and i said this guy gets every fucking call yeah and then brooks immediately fucking call yeah and so yeah i had to work that out wait how'd you work it out already? That was like last week. You just ignore it. Yeah. If your face doesn't change,

then they'll drop it. That's pretty difficult. It is. Especially for the lady. Because the only time we've had, and I'm really good about this, my wife, maybe not so much,

but I'm really good about it despite me being a GMFing D guy during sporting events. We had about a month period. She was maybe three, where she would just fuck it. Fuck it. Why, you said that? Or your wife said that?

Probably. I mean, that's a me. That's a me. That sounds like Kate. I'm just like, ah, fuck it. You know? And so she was just, and she would lean into it, too, and it seemed like she knew when to say it.

Well. Like someone was bothering, yeah. He says he knows when he misses a shot. Yeah. Yeah. But we reacted to the first time he started saying, damn it. Yeah. Like, I think I laughed my head off.

Yeah. I loved it. Fuck it. Yeah. How'd you work fuck it out of her? Same thing. You ignored it? Completely. Wow. Completely ignored it.

You guys should write parenting books. Yeah. Well, there's more parenting talk for the... That'll suffice for about a month. Whoever wanted that. You guys got some? I have one. No, two. got a lot of positive feedback on the slim wallet people now because we had said it's not good to sit on a big fat wallet

it's not good yeah and i want to be clear about my bid i don't ever sit on this i've never said on this okay but you'd switch to front pocket, right? I sometimes, but if I have to walk around with it, maybe, but I don't... As a rule, when I sit down, I take this out. I take it out in my car. I don't... I'll put it on the... So you only have it

when you're standing upright? Yeah. Yeah. My back is jacked enough already, and it's not... What if you go to a restaurant? I will. You put it on the table? If I'm with my wife, I will put it in her purse. If I am by myself or with other people, I will put it on the table.

I might even put it next to my foot. In a restaurant? Yeah. Hmm. You should just get a fanny pack, dude. My other one comes from Peter. Peter. It says, hey Blake, I too like gay lady books

and just started reading Deepwater at your suggestion. Thanks, dude. A rec for you. I just finished None of This is True by Lisa Jewell and it's pretty much in your lane to recommend. Oh my god. Hashtag more Blake book. None of This is True by Lisa Jewell. and it's pretty much in your lane to recommend. Oh, my God. Hashtag more Blake book. None of this is true by Lisa Jewell.

Just finished it. You did? Yeah. This is another lady book. How does this guy have time to read female romance books? Just... Is it an audio book? Has your kid seen you in this quarter?

Yeah. Taking a daycare. Yes, I see my kid. It's probably good table talk for the other moms you're running into. Yeah. Yeah. Did you read Lisa Jewel? Yeah. I'll read an excerpt. From what?

Josie can feel her husband's discomfort as they enter the golden glow of the gastropub. She's walked past this place a hundred times, thought, not for us. Everyone too young. Food on the chalkboard outside she's never heard of. What is Bortaga? But this year her birthday has fallen on a Saturday. And this year she did not say, oh, a takeaway and a bottle of wine will be fine when Walter asked what she wanted to do.

So, do you watch videos in female POV, too? I want to see that hog coming at me. No. It's not... Because that's what you're reading. It's not... It's not that I want to feel like a female or anything. Yeah, whatever.

I just want to read... I don't know. It sounds like that's a cool book. I just want to... I just want to read something light before going to bed. And I just... It's just cool to read about an affair or murder or true crime or whatever. None of that is actually light.

That's all horrible. And it's easy to read. It's easy to just hammer out a couple chapters before bed. So, yeah, it just takes me like a month to read some of these books and it's fine. I get invested in the story. And if one of our listeners has a gay book they want to suggest, you'll read it. Yeah, so Peter, I think I mostly

enjoyed it. Oh, okay. We're getting a review now? We're going into book club. Just give me 30 seconds. I want to. Give me 30 seconds. And I have something for you guys. We're going to get this sponsored, bro. Okay, now I'm in. That'd be cool. This lady finds out that

she's been kind of trapped her whole life uh when she hit adulthood she realized that she had been groomed by this older guy she was 45 he was 72 rewind back i think he was in his what 40s when she got together with him when she was 16 kids ended up hating hating her. Anyway, she hated her life and met this podcast host and was saying, hey, I'm going to walk you through me transitioning out of my trapped life. And come to find out... Podcast hosts are now the main characters in romance novels. Yeah, and I told Jake about this,

but when you see Hollywood make a sports movie and you're like, that's not what it's really like. It was kind of the same thing. She's running her sound checks and stuff, and I'm like, that's not what it's really like it was kind of the same thing like she's running her sound checks and stuff and i'm like that's not how anybody does that and so it kind of weaves between uh just the normal like trajectory of the book and then at the same time it's running like this uh netflix documentary at the same time and so you're learning about the backstory as you're learning about the real story and it's kind of cool how it switches off however i did want to let you guys know

that current fiction loves the unreliable narrator, and I think I hate it, where what you're reading may or may not be true, and it's up to you to figure out what is. Don't like that. Like Fight Club or something? Maybe. Maybe.

Yeah. That's pretty good. Have you read Fight Club? something maybe that's yeah that's pretty good have you read Fight Club no but I get it I get that I've seen the movie by the end

yeah you're like was that all real was it fake was it any Patrick Bateman what's that American Psycho

yeah same exact thing like I just read this whole cool story and at the end they kind of drop this thing in there

that makes me wonder did one of those things even happen cool story and at the end they kind of drop this thing in there that makes me wonder, did one of those things even happen? Right. Yeah. And so the first book that I read like that was a woman in the window and I loved it because it was the first experience I had with it. But in this one with the unreliable titles to unreliable narrator, my problem is I read like,

let's just say 70% of the book and now I just did anything I read was any of that true and is that a waste of time yes well I mean the whole thing isn't isn't true well yeah but so in that case it's not so in this book 70% of it comes out to be like not really true then the next 25% is like no here's everything that she said that was wrong and then at the end it was like oh actually some of it was right some of it was wrong I's everything that she said that was wrong. And then at the end, it was like, oh, actually, some of it was right, some of it was wrong. And that was my issue with it. Well, I was thinking, though, that might be better because it's

at least telling you at the end what was and what was not true. Whereas Patrick Bateman, you're not sure. Yeah. Did he actually have sex with those people? Did he actually put a cat in an ATM? Yeah, yeah, whatever.

So, yeah, I don't know. I don't really like the unreliable narrator. It just feels like a kind of a waste of time. So, none of this is true. It's good. It's an exciting read. However, I didn't come away with it wowed. So, I'm going to give it a 6.5.

Okay, we have a rating system now, Ethan. I feel like I now know, I've told you guys, my wife is in book club and there's one guy that's in her book club. It's like eight ladies and one guy. I feel like it's him. Yeah. Bring it. When do they meet? I would love

for Blake to go. What are they reading? They probably are reading two masculine of books for you. That's true. From the sound of it. I need to make my own. I'll do Anna K. But first, I have another one here. It's actually not a viewer mail.

It was just something I was talking to Raymond from E6 Sportswear, dumbzonemerch.com, about. You know how we had the line of shirts or other items where you could get the Dumb Zone logo printed over your state? So you get a little Oklahoma logo there. Oh, yeah. I think Jenny had the North Carolina hoodie. So a guy emailed.

I don't think he's in the military, but he's doing some sort of contract work in the UAE. He listens. Don't know his name, but shout out to you. He had him print a dumb zone shirt over the United Arab Emirates country outline. Okay. Yeah. So that's the most exotic one Raymond has printed?

It's got to be so far, yeah. I mean, I can't imagine. so that's the most exotic one Raymond has printed? It's got to be so far, yeah. I mean, I can't imagine. Would he do a, if we got the outline of the city of North Urchin Hills? Probably. Would he do an NRH shirt? Probably.

Based on my experience, Raymond will do anything you want him to do. You know, I thought I liked bits. No. That guy's whole existence is a bit. Yeah. So Anna Kay is our resident animal person. She cuts off dogs' heads if they have rabies.

She takes care of animals. And she wants to weigh in on our most recent animal debate, which came up earlier in this show. In a fight to the death, a 25-pound bobcat is going to be much harder to kill than you think. They will not be deterred by pain. If they get you in the right place, groin, neck, you will bleed out fast. I don't think your best bet is kicking. If you can get the unattached from you, they will bite down, claw into you, and not let go.

I think your best bet is throwing them to the ground and hope you break their neck, give it a head injury, or stun it long enough to stomp it out. If you somehow actually manage to win, you are going to be fucked up injury wise and probably permanently scarred or disabled now blake is the only one of us here who said 25 pound bra a bobcat light work i don't know if i said okay yeah you pretty much said like it wouldn't be a problem and then our buddy clayton who helps us with some video stuff who's big hunting man uh subscriber number two subscriber number two man of many guns was like dude you'd be in for a rough rough time okay but what was his proof

he said basically he was like they're too shifty and blake replied oh yes bobcats no he said that uh he has seen bobcats take down cows before that's right yeah and i thought yeah there we go and they have angles of attack you've never thought of. Yeah. Now his reply. Yeah, Blake's reply was, oh, yes, cows. The Mike Tyson of the animal world. I just thought that's not a glowing review of, yeah, take down a cow. Yeah, but the point is it weighs like 1,000 pounds. Show of hands, who thinks they're just eliminating a 25-pound bobcat here? Like, easily.

Come on. All right. Okay, a couple guys. Yeah. And then Clay says he would make Blake versus cow happen. Now I got to take down cows? Yeah, if you wanted to fight a cow. Okay, I'll just wait until it falls asleep and I'll push it over.

Bobcat's not going to sleep, though. Not until your demise. It weighs 25 pounds. Like, we don't let people fight outside of 15 pounds of difference. People don't have fucking fangs. But it's on its head. Like, okay, it's going to... I got it.

Okay. Like, two people that are really associated with animals closely are disputing you, and you still won't even budge. Like, can I just sit on it? All right, I'm done. Alright. Should we do news? Sure.

What are we up to on the run sheet? Do we have a run sheet today? How long have we been going? Oh, I guess drone delivery did take a little bit. Like 140. So do like about an hour of news. In ironic news and notes. It's Iran.

It's actually Iran. Oh, damn it. A man in North Texas said that he heard a loud boom and saw sparks when his truck broke down. It was struck by lightning. Oh, wow. His work truck. Now, here's the irony. This man's name is Garrett Beck, and he is a Fort Worth-based electrician.

Okay. It's like wire wheels, house burning down. Exactly. Faulty wiring. Exactly. He's just on the job, driving on 35 near Basswood, and his

truck got struck by lightning. Was it grounded? I don't think so. He said he could see sparks shooting off the ladder rack in the back. The windshield went white for a second. The horn started blaring, and the windshield washer fluid

ran until it was empty so like it just triggers every electrical thing in your car and it just goes ballistic and yeah there's dash cam footage of it somebody

posted it who the hell has dash cam? A lot of people. Russia? Russia, it's mandated. Yeah. You could spend a lot of time on a boy's trip watching Russian dash cam videos. Yeah, that's my new time kill is just watching dash cam videos of people wrecking.

Well, the cool thing about Russia is it's not just wrecks. Like, you'll see a meteor shower. Or, like, you're in the middle of nowhere in Russia. Aurora Borealis? Perhaps. You're out there in the middle of nowhere, and these things that just happen in rural freaking, I don't know about Siberia,

but it's way out in the middle of nowhere. Nobody would ever see that. Or at least be able to record it, but everybody has to have a camera there because of fraud so you can see these just crazy sky events. Because people would be claiming that you ran them over, but they ran into traffic or something on purpose? Yeah, or just wrecked into you.

I think you did a report a long time ago that also you would just fake your car being stolen or damage to your car to try to get money out of the insurance companies. So they mandated a cam just to make sure that people weren't lying about doing it. It's something along those lines, yeah. This guy had a very sad comment in this story,

the electrician. Beck and his colleagues finished their shift that day. Luckily, neither were injured. Quote, I wish it was on a lottery ticket and not getting struck by lightning. Aww. That's sad.

Like when they tell you, hey, you're more likely to get struck by lightning. Yeah. Win the lottery, then get struck by lightning. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, bud. And they the lottery then get struck by lightning. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, bud. And they made him finish his day. They're like, hey, I know you just had a pretty close call with electricity,

but I'm going to need you to get up in the attic of this house and deal with a bunch of wires. His hair is all straight. His eyes are bulging. Yeah. New poll. New poll. New poll. On a couple things here in Texas, which WFA terms as our most pressing issues.

For the first time since 2015, the poll asked Texans their thoughts on legalizing marijuana. Okay. thoughts on legalizing marijuana. 60% of Texans support legalization. Alright. I want it because of the hemp. Right, you want to be able to make purses and shoes. The possibility of a better economy through hemp.

And for medical reasons. I would bet you... All the other... I want to just give every other reason except for smoking pot. I would bet you, and this would be very hard to figure out with social science research, but I would bet you states where recreational marijuana is legal have seen a decrease in alcohol consumption. Because if somebody at night is like, I just want to take the edge off a little bit. I'll have two glasses of wine or I'll make myself a cocktail or have a couple beers.

And you're like, but what if I just had like a third of a, you know, a little tiny gummy. And I don't have to worry about, I mean, I don't have to worry about it. I mean, you don't have to worry about it now. You won't have to go to the bathroom. Is that your biggest concern with drinking? Not like the damage to your health or the hangover? It's just you don't like pissing? You know, you don't want to drink too close to bedtime

or else you wake up in the middle of the night. I've entered that zone, which sucks because I love a big swig of water before bed. Gambling. So you're guessing on that? Yeah, I'm guessing. It would not surprise me. I wonder how that's all...

Are we far enough into it? We can do some studies on economic impact because don't they tax the hell out of it? That's the only reason they get it passed in these states, right? Yeah, but I mean how many times have

you, me, or you and me been in a store together and been like, well, this is a pretty reasonable price. So if they're taxing the hell out of it, then...

For pot? Yeah. For gummies? For gummies. I mean, it's about what... All I can compare it to is buying weed, which I don't buy.

Right. But it's the same price as if I wanted to buy it here in their store. So even if it's being taxed heavily, somehow the tax is making up for the fact that it's illicit in other states. And if you're buying something illegally, you might have to pay more for it because there's less supply. So, I don't know. More than 57% of Texans said they would support

expanding casino gambling. Support of this one was comparable between Democrats and Republicans. I'm all for everything. But I do think this gambling thing is a... Well, here's the deal.

...is a problem in certain ways. There's a difference between having to go to a physical location and go to a book and place a bet as opposed to be able to do it with the supercomputer in your pocket. I don't as opposed to be able to do it with the supercomputer in your pocket. Yeah. I don't think you should be able to gamble...

With credit card? With credit card on your phone. Because we can do that now. You can. Even living in Texas. It's illegal. Is it illegal if you're doing it online? Yeah.

Oh. What we're doing is illegal. Oh. Because nobody cares. Okay. You notice how that website... Well, can't they

geofence it out of here? You know how that website doesn't end in dot... For real. You know why it doesn't end in dot com? It doesn't?

No. That's because it's an offshore gambling site. Like the Kyrie bed I have is... Completely illegal. Oh, yeah. Doesn't have.com, does it?

No. There's a reason for that. What's.ag mean? I know LV. I want to say, is it Latvia for Bovada? AG? Let's see what.ag is. Any guesses? Antigua and Barbuda. Barbuda?

That's what it says. I would have thought Barbados. Yeah. Or Bermuda. Maybe it's like right between them. Yeah, it's like Texoma. Ben Affleck and... Texarkana.

Bennifer. Yeah. Then they also did a poll on inflation and housing market concerns, but I don't care. Yeah. It's bad. So we'll move on. That's what I think. I think things should cost less. A parent visiting an elementary school in Arlington.

It should cost more. Unless they're going to tax it, then I think it should cost less. If I'm going to sell it, I want it to cost more. You're fighting property taxes? Waste of time. I've done it before. It's a lot of effort. And if you even can get any, then you have to go drive to Fort Worth.

Even if you have somebody help you with it, they're going to ask you a bunch of questions, and you're going to have to be on the phone with them, and you're just like, ugh. And then you drive, you got to go, and you got to petition, and you got to do all this stuff, and then they're like,

What am I, Mr. Smith? They don't give you what, it goes to watch, they don't give you what you want. They end up like, okay, it's almost like you went to so much effort uh we we shaved 300 bucks here's a crumb yeah i felt that's the way i felt when we left and that was like eight years ago and every now and like um you know Rachel who is a big time listener she's active on the

she's in the mortgage game yeah in fact I was once talking to her a little bit about looking for a studio for us when we were first looking for studio space and she said I could help you fight that if you want.

And I sent her a copy of my whatever, the tax bill. And I can't remember why she said, ah, this one ain't worth fighting. You ain't going to win anything. But that's what I needed, someone to just do it for me. So I'm not going to save a bunch of money? I don't think so, but I'd love to hear that story. Yeah, I would too.

I'd love to hear the guy that said, you know what, I got $5,000 off my taxes or whatever. I don't fight mine because I like paying taxes because this state does a really good job of spending that on things like education, mental health, building. They must because they have a surplus, right? Yeah, yeah. That's why I do it. Yeah. They'll send me the bill and I'm like, are you sure?

Yeah. They'll send me the bill, and I'm like, are you sure? Yeah. It's actually going to go to pay for a meal for a guy in Edmonton. Yeah. Send a steak to the governor of Alberta. Isn't there like, is it when you pay your taxes, or what is it? There's one of those things that you pay. Maybe it's like your car registration, where you can check this box to give an extra $2 to teachers.

Yeah. Or something. Yeah, yeah. I did it the other day. By the way, as far as DMV type places go, you're not going to get much better than the one in Southlake Town Square as far as Ace. What do you mean? Like no line and stuff? He's probably talking about a hot behind the counter.

Not hot, but if you go to like Arlington DMV where I used to go or if you go to pretty much any of them I've ever been to, there's a certain prototype, male or female. So now you're not so for inclusion, are you? Looks like they might have a couple things right up there. Burn all the books you want, sweetheart. Parent visiting a school in Arlington was arrested yesterday afternoon after security staff found a gun on him. He went full Switzer.

He was a CHL holder. And this is what I find funny. What's CHL? Concealed handgun license. So he was licensed to carry. He was visiting a student. He's a parent. 31-year-old guy.

This is what I find concerning about gun ownership. He forgot he had the gun on him. Yeah. Which I believe. Like, I don't think he's lying. I don't think he intended to bring the gun in. I think he forgot he had a gun on you, which means you might not should have a gun

on you. Yeah, if you're not really aware. My God, there's a gun on me in this school. Did he have it like in a holster? Yeah. He walked into his kid's classroom and started spinning it around

on his finger. Or is it like in his, on a thing, a holster on his leg? I don't get that one. Like down around your ankle? Gotta keep one down there. Here's something I never thought of before. So you know how whenever you,

you'll do this at like graduation parties, maybe sometimes at birthday parties, the, uh, the let the balloons, like a thing of balloons up into the sky, maybe a gender reveal type situation. I guess it did always seem a little bit odd to me that it's kind of like, well, where are those going? They land somewhere.

Yeah. Well. Some fish is choking on them. The Morning News has a story. Hopefully a salmon. About some people. That's what I was thinking. Yeah.

People who work and live at Crawford Ranch, which I thought that was like where G-Dub and his ranch was. Yeah. Crawford, Texas? Yeah. Yeah. So it's sprawling. So there's a bunch of people, you know, managing the property and, uh, they had a situation last week where they went out to check on, uh, the fawn,

the, uh, the baby deer and they were all cut up. Like their faces have the morning news, put a picture out, you know, their faces all gashed up. Near their clavicles all gashed up. They're like, oh, it must have been a bobcat, Blake, or a coyote. But they didn't see any animal dig marks. But they did see a string of eight inflated nylon balloons. That had floated into the deer pen. And freaked them out so bad that they started thrashing against the fence

that they're enclosed by, which I assume is wire. Because if you're a deer and you see a balloon, you're like, what is this predator from the sky? Okay. And they also said that this is a problem for, like you said, animals eating them. Because when it goes up, it's got to come down somewhere.

And now there's just these brightly colored pieces of rubber all over this rural area. And the animals choke on them. Are deer colorblind? That's a good question. I would imagine you're probably right. That was a bad point. Well, no. I'm just asking because they say dogs are. But is, like, every animal colorblind?

You know how I learned dogs are colorblind? From Santa's little helper. The Simpsons dog? Yeah, I don't think I knew that until I saw that episode. I'm like, well, I'll be damned, huh? That's a thing? You ever know a colorblind person? I want to know how... No.

I've known a couple. Really? I've known a couple people. They see color, but not... Yeah, and they see it differently. Like, there's some colors that they can't distinguish from each other. Anyways, this got to the point where... They don't see black and white? No.

Like dogs, same thing. They're not seeing black and white, are they? I don't think so. So anyways, these people in Crawford, they've taken this so seriously that they're going to the government to try to get a bill, much like you can't fire your gun in celebration anymore,

that it would be illegal to just release huge amounts of balloons into the sky. Good luck with that. Because it messed up their deer. Yeah, because it messed up their deer. Did you guys see any of the news in the last week or so about the New York City Dublin portal? Yeah, you talked about it.

Okay, well, it's down. I saw the side boob. The side boob, yeah, okay. But I never did see that shot from Dublin. I know, people are demanding. I know, and I'm upset with the internet. You know she has a free OnlyFans? And you could probably see as many pictures as you want.

But it's not through a portal. Yeah, I want to see it from Ireland. Have I talked about this since there was an interview with the guy who made it? I don't know. No, you just talked about how the girl... It got shut down. The day it got shut down, you talked about it. So the New York Post talked to him, and the guy who made it says, quote, it shows that

we humans are doing very human things. It also reflects our current state of humanity. Like, yeah, well, no. What did you think? Yeah. So if it wasn't for people trying to have online clout. Nobody would have done that. That would have been just a cool thing to look at.

Yeah. And then my last one, this is touching the sports page. LaMelo Ball of the Charlotte Hornet in a bit of trouble. A mother has filed a lawsuit against him. As an 11-year-old was waiting outside the arena after the Hornets' Purple and Teal Day, like their fan engagement fan

appreciation day if you're not in the playoffs and he's waiting right by where the players exit that sounds really spare but man as a little kid yeah for sure boy I would love that final game of the season oh demand to go Indians

Cavs whatever it was I had to go and they were they sucked but yeah whatever it was, I had to go. And they sucked. Yeah. Yeah. It was Fan Appreciation Day. Hell, yeah. I'm one of those fans, man. Well, you're lucky this didn't happen to you.

There's actually Charlotte Hornet fans out there. This didn't happen to 11-year-old Danny because this 11-year-old was waiting outside. And there's a group of people on each side of where they exit the facility, the players. And, you know, LaMelo Ball is there and he stopped. And a kid comes up to his car trying to get an autograph. Dicey move in the first place. He's in the car. But you're 11.

And instead of an autograph, LaMelo sped off and ran over the child's foot. I did see a picture of his car. Yeah. That looks like an idiocracy car. Well, the video I saw, there's like eight of them because they montaged together him leaving every night because it's an area where fans walk through. It's like a gold car, right?

It's just like the AAC. I mean, I literally saw eight different cars. One of them's pink. One of them's purple. One of them's green. It's just like at the AAC, like leaving gold. People know that's where the Mavericks leave, but it's usually died down by that point.

But people, apparently in these videos I've seen from Charlotte, they're like still walking around there, and people have made a point to film him leaving because he just absolutely peels out of the exit. There's a light right there. Never stops once. And it's crowded. Didn't stop at the light?

Not at all. Oh, wow. Not at all. Just plows right through every time, weaving in and out of traffic. Huh. So now he's getting sued. I'd probably do that too if I knew I could get away with it.

I mean, I do now when I know I can get away with it. So if I'm LaMelo Ball. Would you really? And I'm making $30 million or whatever. At 22? Yeah, roll through a light for sure. What are you going to do? Give me a ticket?

What is it, $300? Oh, no. It's not $300. You're not thinking like. I'll have some guy pay it for me. Even I at 22 was thinking, this is a moving death machine. I don't want to kill somebody in this car. I don't want to run through a red light.

He's not just running through the light that we would go through at 5 a.m. if you had the morning shift. There's people there. And he's just like, oh, fuck it. 22-year-old me, though? I might have. I get it as guy who put the apple

in the fridge at a stranger's house that you weren't thinking about. That's not that egregious. I'm going to the gym after work. I need a little energy.

I didn't know they'd have pizza here. All right, there's your news. Or could have droned me an apple. Yeah, could have. In an ice chest. Now I've got to hit the close late.

The Dumb Zone News. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Like and subscribe. The Dumb Zone presents Today in History. Show meeting. Should we have Chris over here to join us for this? Oh, yeah, we should. Since it's his birthday?

Yeah. Let's hear the crowds react. Yes or no? Oh, they want Chris. He said he got that color, no puppet hat, for Michigan. He said he was happy they had the Michigan blue and yellow. The dark blue? Or what do you call it?

Navy blue? Baze. Baze? Maze. Maze. Baze. What the hell is Baze? I? Bays. Bays? Mays. Mays. Bays. What the hell is Bays? I don't know.

What's Mays? I only know it through. I only know Mays through Michigan. Bays, maybe you were going with Bays and you got confused. I like your shoes, by the way. Thank you. I suffered defeat from Blake two years ago at the college football playoff. That was a tough one.

Jake's never said that about my shoes. You wear the same all black. I can't even see a logo on there. I don't even know what those are. Yeah, you're right. I got to mix it up. I saw a thing online that had Luka. Some Luka 2, new Luka shoes that are Stars and Mavs colors.

Like the Luka 2, new Luka shoes that are stars and Mavs colors, like the Luka WCF. Now, is that not going to – because I searched my Jordan or my Nike app. Yeah, those are – I couldn't find them. Well, you can customize anything. Again? So if you just went and got the Nike ID, you can go to five or six different models,

and you can put anything you want anywhere. By the way, did you all see Kyrie's shoes last night? Yeah. Describe. They were brown, I'm guessing Kyrie's, but they had like little bits of leather coming off of them

that look like, what, moccasins? Yeah. Yes, it's a very Native American motif. Whoa. All right. Well, happy birthday to Chris, right? Yeah.

Chris, everybody. Well, maybe we saved the applause for closing remarks. Nice house, Chris. That's true. Thank you. I thought you guys said the closing remarks. Looks like you got some gifts over there. Yeah, unopened as yet, but I've been stacking them.

So everybody shows out for the 40th, I guess. Those would not be there if you were here last year. Neither would we be. Absolutely. True. Good point. Today is Thursday, May 23rd. You know that.

Absolutely. On this day in 1876, Boston's Joe Borden pitched the first no-hitter in National League history. Says here, though, Borden lost his effectiveness soon after, and he ended the season as the club's groundskeeper. Damn. That's kind of how I hope they make, by like week 12, they make Zeke be rowdy. On this day in 1989, Bo Jackson hit the longest home run ever at Arlington Stadium.

See Rowdy just sitting on the ground. Yeah. He's too tired. He can't. Needs oxygen. Could Rowdy average Zeke's average over the course of a season? That's a great question. He hit that home run against?

Nolan Ryan. Thought he was great. How about that? That's right. Did JD ever give up a long home run to Bo Jackson? Six previous at-bats, Bo Jackson versus Nolan Ryan, he struck out in each one.

So kind of the, perhaps the Blake versus Jake story when it's all said and done. I'm going to strike out every time and then hit one. Or maybe it'll be the other way around.

Home run every time and then he'll finally get in it. Although I just want to say this. And then people will just remember that one. Right. Don't dig too deep into what I'm trying to do here. What do you mean? Yeah, of course.

If we have like ten at bats and he parks nine of them. Oh, okay. Nobody's going to remember those. By the way, I'm more of a Maddox than a Nolan. Paint in the corner? Yeah. I don't know that I'm... I thought you'd just been telling us about your velocity.

Just keep going. All right. On this day in 2021, a cable car taking visitors to a mountaintop view of northern Italy's most picturesque... I said that right. Lakes. Plummeted to the ground. Tumbled down a slope. Killed 14 people.

There was one survivor, a six-year-old boy. My hero. He then became the subject of a custody battle between family members in Italy and Israel. Hadn't he been through enough? The Israeli Supreme Court ruled on it. And they returned him to his relatives in Italy.

So. And then, on the same day, at age 50, Phil Mickelson won the PGA Championship, becoming the oldest major champion in golf history. Has not yet been surpassed by Tiger, but it will be. There is time. He looked pretty good a couple weeks ago. All right, Chris, off the top of your head,

because I always would know this when growing up, celebrities who share your birthday. Oh, no clue. No, none. Go ahead. Give me one. Greg Maddox. He's not even trying.

How would he try? I don't know. It's not a thing I've done, sorry. I haven't either. You don't remember any? I never knew any. Emmett Smith and Ray Lewis have my birthday. I always knew Herschel Walker.

That's a good one. I had no idea. Because I was kind of a young Herschel Walker. Yeah. I read a Sports Illustrated article when I was a little kid about Herschel Walker. That's a good one. I've got no idea. Because I was kind of a young Herschel Walker. Yeah. Or I read a Sports Illustrated article when I was a little kid about Herschel Walker that he never lifted a weight. And all he would do, he was a scrawny little kid. And then he started doing, I think he didn't make his football team, something, you know, all those stories. He started doing a thousand push-ups

and a thousand sit-ups every night. And so, I said to myself, that's what I'll do. Yeah. And I could just do it in commercials.

I could do it while I'm watching TV and stuff. I might have made it to like 50. Gotta start somewhere. But then, yeah, that's all I ever made it. Yeah, I only know Donovan.

And Dan Bennett. That's true. Buckshowalter68. So here's people that share a birthday with Chris who has the maze hat. Anthony Edwards has your birthday. That's a little fun fact

for the rest of the series. What? I think he means aunt. Bring your birthday. As a little fun fact for the rest of the series. What? I think he means aunt. Bring your ass. I enjoyed it, unless your ER thing wasn't even a joke. Of course it was a joke. Esa Lindell is 30.

It was a joke because I knew Blake has no idea who Anthony Edwards, the actor, is. From Revenge of the Nerds. Goose. Goose. He's Goose, yeah. Esa, is. From Revenge of the Nerds. Goose. Goose. He's Goose, yeah. Esa Lindell was in Revenge of the Nerds.

Yeah. And he was also in Top Gun. Aaron Donald is 33. Retired. Is he really? Yep. Okay, I thought he was just like threatening that to get a better contract. No, he did it this year.

He actually did it? Linda Thompson is 73. She was Miss Universe in 1972. And she was married to... I may have to deadname here. Bruce Jenner. Okay. I think if it was at the time, perhaps it's okay.

Pretty arrogant of Earth to just proclaim Miss Universe. Although I guess it's kind of like calling the Super Bowl champs the world champs. You're just assuming, look, we know you're out there, but there's no way you're as good as us. That's a pretty good bet. Yeah.

Some octopus-looking thing. But it's got M. No, no, no, not Miss Universe. There might be a better Miss Universe. I'm saying world champs for Super Bowl champs. Yeah, no, I know what you're saying, and I think they're the same. I just think there's a rare – I just don't think another football team anywhere

could beat the best football team we have here. No, and I doubt somebody in a galaxy – But there could be a hot octopus thing in Alpha Centauri or whatever. Stop knowing that. We haven't done space news in a while. That used to be a bit. Remember the old podcast days?

We made it quite some time. You hate space news too? No, I just like seeing how upset Jake gets at it. There was never any point. The stories did seem to be redundant. It was just because he paid for access to Space.com. And you get a daily email with

different Space News of the day. I don't think there was Space News every day. Drew Carey is 66. Shut up. That explains our little poor audio I played. I was a big fan of that show. People heard great audio, though. Big fan.

Mimi. Was Mimi actually hot? No. I don't think this is one of those like McPoyle twin situations. No. It was great on this is one of those McPoyle twin situations. No. It was great on Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Yeah. Anybody ever watch that? What's the game show he's on? Price is Right? Oh yeah! He's real skinny. He looks like a bro. He does. He has bleached hair. Yeah. Do you know he was in the Marine Corps? No.

I'm almost certain that's true. That feels very... Did you know he was from Cleveland? Music birthday is Phil Selway. Bro, look at Drew Carey.

Okay, he looks like a badass. I know. Like, that's crazy. Yet, he's got regular hair and then when he's on the Drew Carey show he has a marine badass. I know. That's crazy. Yet, he's got regular hair, and then when he's on the Drew Carey show, he has a marine haircut.

Drew Carey. What's the deal? Could he have beat your brother's ass? I'm not betting against him in any fight, even though I know... You're not betting against your brother? No. I know that...

Hey, how big was that dog? Didn't he take on a dog? Yeah. Okay. A dog is not a bobcat, one. And two, Blake is not my brother. Great points. You have to name who they're with.

Phil Selway. Radio head. He's 57. Scott Rayner. Oh, that one hurts. He's 57. Scott Rayner. Oh, that one hurts. He's 57. Old Blink drummer? Blink 182.

Yeah. These aren't deads. Oh, okay. I'm just doing music birthdays right now. No, I'm saying it just hurts because they kicked him out of the band. Oh. You don't get to Travis without going through a Scott, but Scott was the original member.

Matt Flynn, 54. Made a bunch of money, or at least a bunch of money for that time, based on like two good games. Are you thinking of Johnny Flynn? No, we're not talking about the quarterback? He was doing music birthdays. I didn't hear you say music. I just heard you said, who are they with?

And then you did like Radiohead. I'm doing music birthdays. Oh, I have no idea. Radiohead, Blink 182. And now we go Matt Flynn. He is not the backup quarterback from the Packers who went to the Seahawks, is what you're thinking of. The age seemed to check out to me, but maybe it would be a little different. And is that guy's name Matt Flynn?

Yeah. It's Flynn. Flynn for sure. Maroon 5. Oh, Jake. Why are you blowing off like that? I thought you were really into that. He's got a great Maroon 5 bit.

I don't know that it was a great bit, but I don't think I could tell you one of their songs. But they were at one point one of the most popular bands in the world, so TC played me like 20 songs, and I guessed Maroon 5 on about eight that weren't them. It's Maroon 5 or not. Maroon 5 or not. And you just play a random song.

Is it Maroon 5? And Jewel is 50. Lived in her car, married Ty Murray. Has a snaggle tooth, right? All right, we're done with music birthdays now. Okay. I'm back in the game. Ken Jennings is 50.

Don't make a long documentary on me. Game Show Ho's birthday day. Yeah. It is. Ken Jennings has a documentary? Oh, sorry. You're thinking of Ken Burns. Yeah.

Ken Jennings. What do you got? I'm just saying, there's no chemistry between you two in this segment. Yeah. Whatever. How about this? This will bring us together.

Tim Robinson is 43. Fantastic. H. John Benjamin is 57. Do you ever wonder how a guy like Tim Robinson just flames out so hard at SNL? Is it just because he was in a different place in life and his humor is too weird? Yeah, I mean, Chris Rock flamed out. Chris Rock

had a few years, didn't he? Was he on SNL more than one year? I mean, Sarah Silverman was on. Julia Louis-Dreyfus was on. Although she's not well-knownus was on? Yeah. There's just... Although she's not like well-known as her own, you know.

Yeah. Yeah, no. Let's think about it. H. John Benjamin is the voice of Archer and he's pretty good. Never really gave that show a look. Me neither, but I know people that

swear by it. Gavin Free is 36. We all know who he is. He's based in Austin. He's one of the slow-mo guys on YouTube. Because they do things at regular speed, but then they play it like they'll...

It's really pretty... I'm going to tell you what, Brooks is going to love, if you just want to steer him away from Dude Perfect, go, let's watch some Slow Mo Guys videos. And like they once get in a giant balloon and fill it with water until it explodes. Who else is having a birthday? Did somebody die on this day? I'm just trying to tell you guys.

I will, I will do live spots for the slow-mo guys. We aren't. You just did. Avery Cyrus is 24. Cyrus the virus. Avery Cyrus is from Colleyville and has 7 million

TikTok followers. I was going to say, it's got to be Instagram or TikTok. I have a spare birthday. It's not looking great. I mean, I don't know which one of these people I would have known growing up to align myself with. You got Jewel. Jewel, yeah. I guess Jewel. I guess that's what I'm holding on to is Jewel.

Esa Lindell, bro. Esa Lindell, yeah, that's true. Sports defenseman? You know, I'm more of an offense guy. It's all right. Well, how about some deads? I'll just give you, born on this day, now dead. I'll give you one of each.

Dummy Hoy. How does this keep happening? A mute Major League Baseball player. A deaf mute, right? Mm-hmm. And then died on this day, still dead, in 1999. Were you alive then?

Absolutely. Okay. How many years is 40 ago? What would that be? 84. Yeah. 84. Okay, well, you may remember when Owen Hart died.

How many years is 40 ago? You know exactly what I meant. He did. Yeah, yeah. He followed exactly what I meant. Owen Hart, I remember that one. That was tough. Oh, yeah.

That was a wrestling heyday right there. Yeah. Yeah, that really shook me up. And that was today in history. I mean, he fell from the rafters. I mean, I know. Who would have thought that somebody could die doing that? You're just going to lower him down.

Like the drone. Did they keep doing the event that night? I don't think they knew he was dead right... I don't think he died right away. He got taken out of the ring and pronounced dead at the hospital.

Yeah. Okay. Show must go on. Probably was dead the whole time if we're being honest. Almost no doubt. Well, this is that time.

Absolutely. Closing remarks? I don't have any. Do you? I just gave mine for three hours. Blake? I don't have any. Do you? I just gave mine for three hours. Blake, you don't have closing remarks, do you? I mean, I thought the book was pretty good, but... We're just trying to steer it to Chris here.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah, Blake's book review segment, I think, is a consideration. Once a month, at least, like Dan said. Oh, thanks. I experienced a minor amount of awkwardness, as Blake does when trying to book things for either no public productions or saying the dumb zone

when I got the specially designed cake with the dumb zone written on it, and I had to pick it up and the place indicated, asked, why is the dumb zone? Why did I write the dumb zone on here? And I started down, well, you know,

these guys, I listened to them on the radio. I just said, thank Well, you know, this disguise, I listened to him on the right there. They got, I just said, it's thank you. You did it right. And I just bailed. His wife was critical of the cake though.

Yeah. She did not think it looked great. And she's like, look at this. And I'm like, it's like we talk about with Trump when people are like, can you believe he said that? And I'm like,

no, that's so wrong. I thought it looked great. Yeah. She's like, look at this. This is horrible. Perfectionist. She does. This is a very well put together house. I thought it looked great. What is she complaining about? She's like, look at this. This is horrible. Perfectionist.

This is a very well put together house. You could tell. Yeah. This ain't you, right? Absolutely not. She does the old bit of she cleans up after three kids, and I'm one of the three. So, yeah, that's how she goes.

She was mad there was a lot of cookie cake space left. Yeah, like the happy birthday in the dumb zone, there's a big gap in the middle. Okay, it could have been a little. Yeah, that looks like shit. I wouldn't pay for that. Whatever you say. I think we absolutely need to utilize Kempspin.com. I would love to have the list

that Blake has at the ready of the Kempspins because, although to Jake's point, has he heard of social media? I still use websites occasionally, so Kempspin.com would be great. We could just put the whole list up there. Yeah, absolutely. Just list, and then does there have to be a link,

and Jake has to write a paragraph about each one? Oh, man. Just put the Wikipedia. It's not there. It'll be in the scandal section. Scandals, controversy. Wikipedia scandals. Because my favorite thing to come out, obviously, is the seventh floor crew.

I've told all these guys about the seventh floor crew. That's my favorite thing to come out, obviously, is the seventh floor crew. I've told all these guys about the seventh floor crew. That's my favorite thing I learned from Jake. And my question on that is, is Greg Olson the only member of the seventh floor crew who will win an Emmy? Potentially. Did you see that? I haven't gone through his speech, but. He won an Emmy?

Yeah, he got broadcaster of the year. From seventh floor crew to broadcaster of the year. And then to Fox B team. Yeah, yeah. He gets demoted after that. Immediately. I heard it was an awkward speech. I wonder if they did that on purpose almost. I mean, honestly, dude, he was great last year. Yeah. Well, yeah, he was good.

But still, to get demoted, that's a tough, tough one. But yeah, I mean, he came from humble beginnings of inner eye, inner... inner it's i send this to all those guys every time football season starts so and then the last thing i had was i just i always commiserate with dan when my favorite um upper tier grocery store in the area took out the um put in the self checkouts it's a nightmare i don't know why um oh you go to central market

absolutely that line is always so long. The self-checkout line? Yeah. Well, yeah. They have self-checkout, but they have... People manning the self-checkout, too. But it's the 12 items or less line, right? But they had three counters for that line.

So you could go to the right, and you get the person to do it. And I have 12 items or less. Yeah, and I never go there. Most people that shop there have 12 items or less. It's a niche grocery store. I didn't say that word right. Yes, and I will go wait in the long line behind someone with a huge giant cart just because I don't want to do that self-checkout.

Absolutely, and I did say lastly, but the only thing I'll say is I think we should occasionally add political to the sports comedy podcast because most of the gentlemen in the room, probably to the detriment of the political system, take our advice from Jake mostly on political opinions, made us aware mostly of the far-right cell phone company controlling all of our school boards. So I appreciate Jake's insights on that front. So political could be an occasional tag on any podcast you guys play. Are you guys saying you need a watchdog?

Absolutely. Jake? Absolutely. Jake is our political watchdog, letting us know when and where we should place our votes. Have you ever seen the hot butcher? That's where Jake was alleging there was a hot butcher. No, I've not.

Look, she hasn't been there in a while, like a couple years. Are we back on Central Market? But I know a guy, you know him too, you've met him, who works there. And he stopped me in the store one time and he was like, she's not here now.

He's like, but I'll try to tell Dan when she's going to be here. I was like, don't do that. That's a little too much. But he's like, yeah, yeah.

Why would you deny me that? I just want to, I didn't, it felt weird to be like, because it felt like stalking. He wanted her, he wanted her for him. Yeah.

But, he also was like, he was also like, she's a total bitch. Of course. And I'm like, that's awesome. She has a meat cleaver. She's very attractive. And she's mean. Aren't most hots kind of mean?

No. You just had some bad experiences, man. I'm here to help you see the good in the world. Are you drunk yet, dude? No, no. Like I said, I absolutely managed it. As I can't even say the word absolutely. That's just

me being nervous sitting up here talking on this with a giant bag of nothing. You came prepared and you kept it short and sweet. Yeah. This has been a top tier closing remarks. A plus. Adios, mofo. You prepared and you kept it short and sweet. Yeah. This has been a top-tier closing remarks. Yep, A+. Adios, mofo. Thank you.

And then you got pretty good at looking at their profiles and finding out, oh, she's the fat one in the group. Anything from collarbones up, fat. If her first picture is a group photo, she's the ugly one. And, um, oh, if it's a far away picture, like she's doing something like, Oh, look at me, I'm shooting a gun or something. She's ugly. Because hot girls will show up. So yeah, big sunglasses.

That's a go. You know what's under there. So yeah. Just save yourself some time. Fat. Because hot girls won't show up. And she's ugly. Fat.

So yeah. Big sunglasses. Fat. And she's ugly. Because hot girls will show up. Just save yourself some time. Because hot girls will show up. Her first picture is a group photo. She's the ugly one.

Fat, and she's ugly. Just save yourself some time. ugly one. Fat. And she's ugly. Just save yourself some time. Cause hot girls will show up. So yeah, get some glasses. Bye.