The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 5-6-24

Episode Date: May 6, 2024

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneGet ready for a rib-tickling, smoke-infused episode of The Dumb Zone, where the aroma of comedy is as rich as the scent of barbecue. Dan McDowell and Jake Kemp, along with the sharp-witted Blake Jones, set up camp at the legendary Meat Church BBQ Supply in Waxahachie, Texas, where the maverick of meat, Matt Pittman, grills up a feast for both your belly and your funny bone.The episode kicks off with a sizzling start as the team chats with Big Al from the Kidd Kraddick Morning Show, who shares the fiery tale of his near-house-burning grill mishap. It's a story that'll have you laughing till your sides hurt and reminding you to never trust a man with a bacon trough.As the jokes keep rolling, the crew is joined by the one and only Ted Emmerich, whose presence turns the heat up a notch on the hilarity. They dive into the absurdity of sports, the heavyweight title of podcast championship belts, and the comedic gold of roasts that'll have you reaching for the hot sauce.But that's not all – Dan and Jake serve up their signature blend of sports talk, pop culture, and off-the-wall banter, proving once again that The Dumb Zone is the place where smart takes a backseat to fun. So, pull up a chair, grab a rack of ribs, and let The Dumb Zone's latest episode be the BBQ sauce to your brisket of life – because here, every day is a cookout and every joke is well-done. (00:00) - Open with Matt Pittman (27:49) - Sports: Stars win game 7, Mavs-Thunder preview (45:35) - Viewer Mail (54:44) - Explaining Kendrick vs. Drank to Dan (01:11:24) - Big Al Mack (01:30:22) - Tom Brady roast (02:02:03) - News (02:12:49) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program.

The Dumbs Up, Dumbs Up, Dumbs Up. We gotta definitely write a song about how we do not diddle kids. Do not diddle kids, it's no good diddling kids. There is no quicker way for people to think that you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it. You gotta write a song that says, I wouldn't do it with anybody younger than my daughter. Little kids gotta be big, older than my wife, older than my daughter, something like that. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright. them away from my daughter or something like that. Ah, yes. Coming at you live from beautiful Waxahachie, downtown Waxahachie.

Town Square is where we're at. Where's Dale? He's always with us. Well, he's not dead. He's with you wherever you are in Waxahachie. On this Monday, May 6th, the 162nd episode

of the Dumb Zone program. Did you know that, Blake? Are you keeping track? No, that fell off for me a while ago. Oh. Come over to Jake's side of it. Why? Don't go to Jake's side.

So today, like I already said, we're in Waxahachie. You did. I don't need to lay that out again. So you know we're not high atop my garage. We're not at our studio, which is our home away from home. We are at Meat Church. So you're like, ah, you guys don't go to church. Yes, we do.

We go to Meat Church. We're at Meat Church Barbecue Supply. And joining us is the owner, the CEO, the grand poobah of Meat Church Barbecue Supply. He is Matt Pittman. Everybody knows that, though. He is Matt Pittman. Everybody knows that, though. Hello, Matt Pittman. Thanks for having me. Pittman.

Thanks for being here, I should say. Yeah, thanks for having us. That's what we should say. He's got some phenomenal Jordan 3s on. They're Jordan 4s, but thank you. 4s, okay. Sorry, the 3s and 4s often confuse me. Jake does have shoe envy, I've noticed, quite a few times when we're out.

You will notice somebody's footwear. Yeah. Especially if we're trying to ask them for money. And you've never said anything about me. No, those are choogy as fuck. I don't know what that means. Are these dad shoes? Yeah.

They're just black. 100%. Oh. Gosh darn it. Yeah. It're just black. 100%. Oh. Gosh darn it. Yeah. It wasn't just me. All right. Okay, but if Dan is wearing Jordans, that's pretty weird, right?

He can't step up his shoe game. It just is what it is. I can, and I will. You won't. I'm a guy who changes. I'll change over time. Right. Rolling with a Zeke 1.5 on and some J's.

Yeah, I don't even know what those things mean, but I hope to someday. Do you understand what he's saying? I do. Zeke's going to look fat in 1.5. I listened. Okay. Yeah. You're a big shoe guy?

You're a shoeie? You got to spend your money on something. Are you a foodie or a shoeie? Both. Okay. spend your money on something. Are you a foodie or a shoeie? Both. Okay.

Yes, the CEO and Grand Poobah of Meat Church Barbecue. When did he learn to start using this term, Grand Poobah? I'm very interested in your story. It's pretty amazing. I watched your audition tape to get on, what was the barbecue show? Barbecue Pitmasters. Okay. Shot right here in Waukesha, Texas.

The tryout video was anyway. And you credit that, I would guess, for really helping your star rise a bit? It was definitely my start. I'm proud of it. I got third on the show. Third? Out of three contestants.

Oh, man. Don't seem like as high as you could get at all. Seems very low. My mom has never been more proud. But you're on the podium. But you're on TV. Hey, did you know this? So I meet Matt.

Tell Jake the first thing you said. Well, I thought I just met you. I didn't just meet you, though, did I? 17 years ago, I got second place in your bowling tournament. How about that? I didn't know it was 17 years ago. I said 10. You corrected me. I think it might've been more 17-ish. Everything does seem like 10 years. The charity tournament that was canceled because it didn't make enough money. That's what I told you. Yeah. That's the story. I bowled in it twice. I guess I'm, and both times you had it, I bowled in it. Right. The first year I bowled against the

eight-year-old kid who turned out to be a PBA champion. He is Anthony Simonson. I think he's, like, running the circuit now. Yeah, he's great. Like, he is the tiger of bowling. And the next year I wanted to win, so I bowled against Jeremy Moran,

was the board out for the Musers, and I bowled against his wife who, was the board out for the Musers, and I bowled against his wife, who is blind, and I beat her. Beat her soundly, I might add. Soundly. Yeah, so I just wanted to make sure that that's what you got to do in the barbecue thing. It can backfire, though. You should have Jake or me and this guy, they're going up against you. You want to make sure you're going to win.

All right, yeah, I try not to compete anymore. You want to make sure you're going to win. All right. Yeah, I try not to compete anymore, but I'm down. Okay, for the future. I lost to a blind guy in axe throwing, so sometimes that can backfire. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Sounds dangerous. He was in the semis.

It does sound dangerous to have a blind guy throwing an axe. I handed him a sharp blade for. Anyway, the king of Dallas Cowboy tailgates, right? That's what they call me. Seen on the Jimmy Fallon show. He's a dork, right? He was honestly very cool. That's a problem.

He was very cool. That still didn't answer the question. He could still be a dork. You got jobbed there, too, during the Super Bowl barbecue challenge. I did get jobbed. I've never won on TV. You're just an also-ran. I got second out of two.

Always an also-ran. Yep. And then you've been on College Game Day. You've been on McAfee. I saw you were on Uncut with Jay Cutler. Yeah, yeah. That was a trip. It was me, him, and Eric Trump.

Bizarre trio. Yeah, bizarre trio. But yeah, it was cool. How does that come about? So Jay Cutler wants you on his show. How does that, or Jimmy Fallon, like, how do they reach out to you? So I don't use an agent or representation.

And so they just, people just randomly reach out and jay and i have common friends and a friend called and said jay wants to have you on his podcast and like he has like big names on there like mark cuban i'm like why would he have me so he wanted me to cook he likes i guess he watches my cooking videos so i went up to franklin he lives in leaper's fork actually and uh it was he said well it's going to be me you eric trump and carrie underwood's brother-in-law who plays this well he lives next he lives next door to mike fisher and carrie underwood and mike's brother has this instagram character called rut daniels he's like a redneck looking they sell like outdoors wear so it was a trip he just shows up and barges in on the middle

of it i mean i'll never forget it we were were sitting here recording, and he used to be married to Kristen Cavallari, and she comes walking in to drop off the kids in the middle of this podcast, and I don't remember what happened after that because I was just looking that direction. It's a great reality show. Maybe I'm the only one who watched it. No, that's right. You're right. I mean, my wife watches it.

I've heard about it. That's really good. Yeah. But, okay, so when you did it. I've heard about it. That's really good. Yeah. But okay, so when you did bowl in the Bad Radio Bowling Tournament many, many years ago, which I was a part of, you were not this man that we see before us now. No, yeah. Meat Church was not a thing back then.

I was working in my corporate job. But you were cooking all the time. Yeah, I've always been this like crazy outdoor cook so definitely okay that's the cool thing about yeah these stories that you hear is like this guy just kind of did his bit yeah and eventually like it doesn't pay off for everyone it's probably not a rudy story like you can't just necessarily stick with whatever it is because it you know that would not be prudent but uh so you had like a real job like a real good job right yeah i mean i was 19 years in corporate america left as a vice president of it overseeing like 60 people it's not nearly as

cool as what i do now but it was a good career job yeah solid family yeah money yeah like my wife is like you're never leaving that job kind of situation yeah 401k bennies stock all that kind of stuff yeah stop just saying stuff i am learning a lot about business so you knew all of but you knew good you knew about business before opening your own business see that was our problem yeah we we knew about like just kind of doing a show a mediocre show and then all of a sudden we have to do business stuff and that's about like just kind of doing a show a mediocre show and then all of a sudden we have to do business stuff and that's why we're kind of failing but you you had a plan you're probably not going to get a shoe partner by the way just i'll help you okay yeah but but

you had a plan going in and that's how you could convince your wife to hey yeah what if i leave this job i was this crazy cook, you know, people like, like if we were all friends, you'd be like, well, Matt's probably cooking this weekend. So it was just kind of known. And, uh, I watched the TV show barbecue pit masters. And, you know, I looked at a friend of mine who was like an amateur video guy. And I said, you want to make a tryout video for me, you know, record me. Cause most of the videos were terrible. So we went right down here past the square to our feed store. And I remember I was out of wood, so I stopped at the gas station.

I bought a Dura Flame log to put in my pit, which was not a good idea, by the way. But I made a kind of funny video, and it basically went viral on Twitter. So Daniel Vaughn, the barbecue editor of Texas Monthly Now, he wasn't that at the time. He retweeted it, and then like every well-known barbecue personality sent it out. And it overwhelmed the producer to a point where he sent me a direct message and he was like you need To call off the dogs and I wrote back and said I don't know if you know how Twitter works or not But has nothing to I'd you know, your name probably shouldn't been your handle the name of show price shouldn't been your handle So they picked me I was at the Sugar Bowl watching Trevor Knight destroy, Alabama

I'm Alabama guy and I wasn't sad at all because I got the call walking into the game to be on the show so I went on the show finished a solid third place but the producer long story short as a producer said if you make a barbecue product we'll show it on the show and I said what do you mean she said what do you season your meat with or what do you sauce it with and I said well I make two seasonings and I use XYZ barbecue sauce she goes we'll put it in a bottle and we'll show it so I put my two seasonings in a bottle and I called the first one meat church holy cow and the second one meat church honey hog and By the time the show aired I'd launched the website meat church comm

Follow the trademark and basically I wasn't a fan of Facebook because I don't like to scroll through all the crap on Facebook So when Instagram came along I thought well, this is cool because I can post a picture of my food So I always give this example. I'd say here's a steak. I cooked on my big green egg, seasoned with meat church, holy cow, 375 degrees for eight minutes or whatever I would say. And people were into that. And so I was kind of doing content creation before that was a thing. Yeah. Cooking videos are huge. Yeah. Like, were you a big viewer of cooking videos or no? You're just a viewer.

Not really. You just did it. Yeah. I just did it. And I could tell people I had a knack for people i had a knack for it because people were into it and liked it so i just leaned into it so i would you know every time i would post a photo of my food i would get sales on the website so here we are okay videos king so did they have a barbecue editor back in the day too i don't know when daniel took that job but daniel vaughn yeah i don't know if it was i don't know if Daniel took that job. Daniel Vaughn? Yeah. I don't know if it was quite 10 years ago. Early 2010s?

Yeah, so around that time. We had him on the show a couple times on the Shake Joint. Okay. Yeah. Like just that that exists is weird. It's Texas. Yeah. Yeah.

Quit his job being an architect. I got a really good job and hopped into that. Did your parents cook? My grandmother's taught me to cook, but it was like Southern food. Not no, I'm self-taught barbecue. And now I know, you know, now at this point I know everybody in barbecue, so we all help each other, but no one taught me to cook outside. I did it on my own. I actually started, went to a crawfish boil out of high school and didn't know what a crawfish boil was. And when I showed up in this guy's backyard and there's all these people

around the table, this would have been late nineties. I was like, that's cool. Cause it was like the communal aspect of it. And so that's got, that's what got my start. And then I think this will be 25 years ago. I went and I used to be a water boy for Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. And in a moment of dumb assness, I quit that job to go buy tickets. Sure. So somebody had to do the cooking. So I was like, well, I'll do it. And so that's, uh, those two things are really what got me started. Did you meet Rowdy? I can't stand him. He's an ass whip. We actually have a banner.

We had a banner that said Rowdy sucks that we used to hang up back when Parcells was a coach. Yeah, I can't stand that guy. I saw him driving down the road. It's not a real person. No, I mean, he has his own van now. I was behind him on 30 recently, and I almost ran him in the ditch. And you're a big sports guy, for sure.

Yeah. I don't know why. I said this in the restroom at the Stars game last night. I don't know why we like sports, because 99% of the time it doesn't work out for us. Yeah. This is when the Knights had just scored, so we're all full of anxiety. But, yeah, big sports guy. Yeah, last night worked out well.

It was awesome, yeah. But then your association with the cowboys what have you done for them you've done a ton yeah and it's funny um i've just gotten all this random traction over the last year where i started doing things i hosted the deva barbecue festival out there started two seasons ago i hosted that hosted it again last year someone took notice the first year asked me to come bring my smoker like inside the gate, like inside the Miller Lighthouse. So I did that. And then the team started calling. And honestly, one of my big breaks, what I'll just say was Billy Price, lineman we had on the P squad this year. He came down in the summer, hung out with me and then connected me with Dak. And Dak called me last year and had me

cook the dinner, the quarterback O-line dinner on a Thursday night. So we did that, which led to me cooking for the whole team. And I'm actually going to teach in OTAs. I'm teaching the players in OTAs in a couple weeks and then teaching the coaches the next day. So I was the so-called celebrity chef the last game of the year, did a make-a-wish thing with a kid, quite a few things last year. So it was a lot of fun. But it's the number one thing I do on social media

that gets me more shit than anything I do across the country wait some kids said their make-a-wish was to cook with you no yeah trust me I was just as shocked yeah that's a I mean it's good but it was bizarre he it was he wanted to meet me Brandon cooks and Dak and I was like one thing does not belong I actually turned down they're like you can go on the field before the game and meet him I was like I'll just meet him in a suite because everybody's like who's this dude okay so yeah so you're aware of that uh what's your association with the stars uh so and I used to be a seasoned ticket holder late 90s and so the way this happened in 1997 my one of my fraternity

brothers worked in the clubhouse for the rangers and so he said you want to come work for the team so in 97 i was a clubby with like juan gonzalez pudge will clark great team man that must have been awesome it was it was awesome will clark i'll tell you a story he didn't ask i'm gonna tell you will clark turned 40 and mark mcleore looked at me and he said can you go to the wives lounge and get his present and I said yeah after the game so I go in the wives lounge and there's a goat on a leash I had to walk a goat in the clubhouse this was also back when there weren't many women interviewing and so if a female would come in which was only about once a homestand Pudge would literally put everything on but his underwear and pants first he would

I've never seen a male put on his shirt and button it and tie a tie it's very unstable Lee Stevens magically dropped his towel right when she walked in

yeah times have changed so Pudge would do that on purpose yes he would literally be standing there with nothing on below his button down shirt with his tie tied

was that a playoff year? It was. It was. 97. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. In fact, I had to get all the players to sign balls to throw into the crowd, and most of the relief pitchers had me sign their balls.

So some poor kid has some Matt Pittman, Xavier Hernandez autographed balls. Xavier Hernandez. I'm like, couldn't I get like a John Smith or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you get a playoff share? I'm bitter about that. So Zach was our clubhouse manager, and he had two kids that worked in the clubhouse. They were yay tall.

And somehow his kids got my playoff share, which is fine. I'm not bitter because now one of them is the GM of the Angels, and one is the clubhouse manager for the Braves, and I'm a lifelong Braves guy. And so the Braves really took care of my family this year, and one is the clubhouse manager for the Braves, and I'm a lifelong Braves guy, and so the Braves really took care of my family this year, so I buried the hatchet. I don't think he knows that he got my playoff share, but funny you ask. Yeah.

No, that's always interesting to me. Okay, so you asked about the Stars. That trainer knew the Stars trainer, and the next year, actually in 99, the year, okay, so the year after we won the Cup, 99-2000, I started working for the team uh in the locker room being a game day equipment assistant so i worked in downtown dallas and i would just shoot over to reunion and be there from like 5 p.m to 1 a.m setting up the benches uh taking care of the penalty box um being a gopher for the players during the game if they needed anything so i did that through 2012 uh so yeah crazy crazy hockey fan so yeah Jamie Ben was the last player I had and my buddy who was the third equipment manager is now the head guy Denny

Sotarts his first year as the head equipment manager so super cool know everybody down there so it was fun to hang out Turco started with me so he started the year after me actually so we're good buddies so he he hosted me for a little bit last night. So that was fun. Yeah, he's a good dude. I'm glad you remembered I was talking about the stars because I totally forgot. There's no chance. Yeah, I could talk the ears off the statue.

So I was going to get a stare somehow. Yeah, can you reset what we're doing here today? Yeah. We're, of course, at Meat Church Barbecue. But no, man, that's pretty awesome. How did you ever have time to actually find a wife and have kids? I'm glad she's not here right now. It just feels like you've done a million.

Yeah. I don't sleep. Really? Yeah, I don't sleep a lot. What do you get? What's your sleep schedule? Well, this weekend was rough. It was about four hours a night.

But she's out of town, so I had to get up and take the kids to school. So I don't know. I got five or six hours last night. I was good. Okay. So you're fine with that. But what you don't have to do is go put the wood in the smoker at 2 a.m. Only when I need to. I actually did cook for y'all today, but I leveraged my Traeger last night so that I could sleep.

Nice. Okay. Yeah, that's a common thing. Like Travis. I'm buddies with Travis. Yeah, that's where we met. That's right. Yeah, and his bit is like, yeah,.m every day yeah gotta go out there and fire it up and so

this uh the brick and mortar store as they call it you don't have to have this no in fact when we first started I actually made kind of an ignorant statement I was like I don't care if we sell in Waxhatchee but I didn't mean that in a bad way I meant that because we're an internet business in our wholesale business but about the time I was leaving my corporate don't care if we sell in Waxachie, but I didn't mean that in a bad way. I meant that because we're an internet business and our wholesale business. But about the time I was leaving my corporate job, my dad had an old hardware store in Rogers, Texas. And it was like a bunch of old dudes would just go hang out there. And I, I said to my wife one day, it'd be cool if we had like a hangout spot. And a friend of mine, his wife had a boutique here and he said, you need to get a shop downtown. There's no businesses businesses for men it's all boutiques and antique stores and it's cool vibe and you dig it so we rented a spot on the other

side of the courthouse for several years and then we outgrew it and we moved into this one in June of last year but this is fun I mean this is this is like the mothership people true story buy plane tickets to come here which I don't know why but it's insane that's what I was gonna ask you I saw there was a couple people like from Europe at your last class. Yeah. Is that common? We teach a barbecue school at TX Whiskey once a month. In Fort Worth?

Yes. It holds 140 people, and in 2023, we averaged people from 20 different states per class. So in that one, we had 19 states and three countries, two from the UK and two from Canada. But you've also traveled overseas now i've taught in sweden taught in australia um supposed to teach in sweden again this summer i don't think it's going to happen scheduling issues but yeah american barbecue is hot around the world you know especially in europe and australia big time and they see that you're popular on the Gram or the YouTube? I guess.

And they're like, hey, let's get this guy. Why do you think England's food sucks so bad? That's a great question. I went over there after college and had their nasty-ass sandwiches with cucumbers. It's terrible. It's terrible. My daughter is in there. Their beer's hot.

What are we doing there? Warm? It's not hand-cramping cold, as I like to say. It's not cold beer? You just get a warm beer? It's not cold enough. It's not cold like... It's medium.

Yeah. My daughter's main complaint with... She's in France as an exchange thing, you know, college. And she said that... I mean, she didn't just go there for no reason. She said the food is not... It's very, although it's good, it's just not, there's no spices. She doesn't have any, there's no kick to anything.

I can send some spice over. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no, it's great that you're here, man. And I mean, it's great that we're here. Yeah, I was going to say, he's probably here just like as a matter of course. But you're not from Waxahachie. How do you land in Waxahachie? I mean, it's great that we're here. Yeah, I was going to say, he's probably here, just like as a matter of course. But you're not from Waxahachie.

How do you land in Waxahachie? It is a very cool, very old-timey square. The whole scene is cool. I absolutely love it. It's the greatest vibe. I was born in Chattanooga, Tennessee, with family from Georgia and Alabama. So I'm a southern boy. My parents divorced, and my dad came down here for work. And I decided to come with him. So I've been here since I was 13. So I'm pretty Southern boy. My parents divorced and my dad came down here for work and I, I decided to come with him.

And, uh, so I've been here since I was 13. So I'm pretty well Texan at this point, but my in-laws live and lived in Waxhatchee. And, uh, they,

when my wife and I were dating, they were like, you guys should move to Waxhatchee. And I'd never been out here. So it's definitely like a, it's like a small town feel. It's really not that small of a town anymore. A lot of people are moving here, but it's, it's awesome. Especially with this square, like it's, it's super cool. Yeah. You do whatever your wife says.

So do you feel that you've surpassed Dale Hanson is the most famous man in Washington? Listen, uh, I try to be humble. There's, that is not even a question. Nobody even knows Dale Hanson and walksaxhatchee. You never see. He'd tell you. How long have we been here? 20 years? I've seen Dale Hanson and Waxhatchee two times.

Really? What about Edward R. Burrow? I believe that's the name of his donkey. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. I was like, who's that? He's in TV.

I've seen Dale two times, and it was at Christian, my oldest high school banquet, and then he emceed another thing. I had to get an emcee for something Friday night, and I called Pete Delka's true story. So we're going to bag on Dale in that. No, we don't see Dale very often. I think he's off having a good time somewhere. Well, there's a good bet. There's a high chance.

Very good bet there. What's the deal with the downtown, the square here? There's like a, it's like the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Did you notice that? I did. Yeah. Like I noted the name Denver Pyle. That's the one I saw.

Who I felt was, I felt that was Gilligan, but I was corrected. And it's apparently that's Bob Denver. Denver Pyle was Uncle Jesse in the Dukes of Hazzard. I don't know a lot about it. I know it's people that have contributed to the arts and stuff like that. Such as yourself. I don't have a star. I got asked that last week.

How can you not get a star? What do we have to do? Because in Hollywood, you just have to pay for it. Oh, wow. Yeah, no, I don't know. I don't know. We just saw a notification. There's two new stars coming.

One is Big Al from Kiss know, from Kiss FM. He's got a restaurant right here. Oh, does he really? Yeah. So Big Al is probably the most famous guy on Wox Hatchy. I'm at number two. Okay, Big Al. Is he coming by later?

Do we understand? Maybe? Oh, we can get him over here for sure. You got to – is he coming? Yeah. You're excited? We think so. Our video man knows him.

You can embarrass him. Our video man knows him very well. Okay, so Big Al about burned his house down a couple months ago grilling, so y'all need to ask him. Our video man knows him. You can embarrass him. Video man knows him very well. He worked on the Kid Craddock show. Big Al about burning his house down a couple months ago, grilling, so y'all need to get him. He came in here wanting a new Traeger, so I got him a discount code, like a friends and family thing. I see him at the grocery store two weeks ago, and he goes, boy, I got a story for you. I said, hit me with it. And he said, well, I was grilling bacon outside, and he caught my grill on fire.

And he goes, Matt, I'm talking about my house is going to burn down on fire. So I'm looking for a fire extinguisher. Can't find the wife. She's asleep or something. Called my neighbor. He's at the airport. He's like, so I had to call 911. He said six trucks came.

For his one little fire. For bacon. And he looked at the guy and he goes, could you have maybe brought two? And they said, well, we don't know how big the fire is when you call. So they put out the fire. And he said, as soon as the fire truck leaves big the fire is when you call. So they put out the fire and he said, as soon as the fire truck leaves, five minutes goes by the doorbell rings and it's a delivery man dropping off

his Traeger. And the wife was like, did you plan this? So yeah, you got to get him with that. All right. You think it's funny that his last name is Pittman? Um,

I did not believe it was real, but it's right. I think it is right No we changed it Okay Yeah He's doing a bit Yeah I used to

Unless you could tell me Your original It won't work with you guys But I always tell people You know Sat the wife down And said I need to become The Chad Ochocinco BBQ

But it has two T's in it So it's not spelled right But I closed on some land A week ago And the lady's name Was Pittman with one T And I was like I need to I need to have one T.

But yeah, that's my real name. Yeah, you were just born for this, so they say. Well, thanks a lot, man. Thanks for having us. We're very excited. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Matt Pittman. Quite a crowd here. Appreciate it.

What's the deal with this? All right, from Meat Church Barbecue. All right. Well, now he's happy that he's done with us. And we shall move on. I don't even know if we need to do weekend check or anything. You guys want to just jump right into some stuff? Yeah.

Okay. Like sports? We do have quite a few people out here. It's uncomfortable to me that he's sitting that high. Blake? Yeah. I don't like that. The table is high.

I don't like that at all. It is a high table. And we are on YouTube today. Did you notice that, Blake? Oh, is that right? We have cameras and everything. Yeah. Yeah. I noticed the everything. Yeah. Yeah.

I noticed the cameras. Yeah. Don't be nervous. Okay. Don't be upset. On the camera, you can't tell he's that high. Hey, I play flag football with that guy right there. So that's my weekend check is this.

You guys destroyed? Yeah. Okay. What was the final score? What do you say, O'Neal? It was a lot to a Yeah. Okay. What was the final score? What do you say, O'Neal? It was a lot to a little. Okay. Yeah.

One of those games? Yeah. Did they let you be involved in the offense and catch a ball? They held me up and carried me to the end zone. Did that whole? Yeah, make a wish style. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah.

We do have lots of sports, though, that happened over the weekend. We could start with the place Matt was at over the weekend if you want because I do have a tweet from Sports Mayor comes in. Oh, my God. Mayor Eric Johnson of the city of Dallas says, there's no quit in this city or in the Dallas Stars. What a great series. Now it's time to keep taking care of business and to bring down the avalanche,

which is not usually the way you'd want to term that, like a pun. Bring down the avalanche. Yeah, you want to somehow. Kind of want to keep it there. Kill people. Yeah, you don't want to bring down an avalanche. That would be horrible to you and your team. He's such a dork.

Yeah, but he's totally into sports, dude. He's totally on board with the Stars winning. He's also the mayor we deserve. Why? Because the city's lame. Not the city of Oxyhatchee. Well, no, but the city of Dallas is lame, and we have a lame mayor. It's just all super vanilla.

A lame, bought-and-paid-for mayor. Yeah. And, yeah. is lame and we have a lame mayor like it's just all super vanilla and a lame bought and paid for a mayor yeah and uh yeah it's that's that's what we deserve window dressing yeah a window dressing mayor don't even really do anything i mean we have a city manager model as is did you watch the game i did quite a bit of it yeah but i did fall asleep. I'm not going to lie. I might have finished it this morning. Didn't it start at 6.30? Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah, what's your scene?

Like I said, I mean, Sunday night. We have a game. The sun was up. So you're getting more sleep than Matt Pittman. I'm trying. Yeah. I'm trying. Is that our whole Stars coverage?

Pretty much, yeah. Anybody else have anything for it? That's about all I have. Okay. I listened to Razor this morning and was pretty fired up. It's really weird, though. Same thing with the Mavs and the Stars where you're like, oh, God, they did it.

And you're like, oh, they have three more rounds. If they were to get to where they want to go. That was not a normal first-round matchup. Really, in either case. Even if the Mavs got it done in six, more rounds if they were to get to where they want to go. That was not a normal first round matchup. Really, in either case. Like, even if the Mavs got it done in six, it's like, that felt like pulling teeth. Yeah, because all the other series were over in five games,

it seemed like. Yeah. Yeah, the second round matchups have already started. Yeah, so 8.30 Tuesday night. Yeah, did you see the Mavs and Stars schedule for the next two weeks? No. They play on the same day every single game. Ridiculous. Really? Same time? And basically the same time. I know

Tuesdays are both 8.30. Both 8.30. Okay. But the Mavs obviously are going to be the road team as the lower seed and the Stars will be the one seed. Yeah. So they won't be home. Obviously that... Playing in the same team. Yeah, no, they can't play on the same team.

They can't? I would love to go to one of those games. Half and half. Yeah, if they would just get that going. They could do it. Just think outside the bun. So, yeah, Mavs, I wake up this morning. Mavs, I wake up this morning.

Shams reports this, that Jason Kidd has signed a multi-year contract extension with the team. They're into the second round? They're into the second round. Why not? Did they hang the banner yet? Have we announced the parade route? No, but Carlisle didn't win a playoff series since 2011. Yeah.

Kidd has already had way more success recently. That's true. Carlisle's also in the second round. Have you noticed that? Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. They should probably give him an extension too right now.

They probably will. Yeah. It's his first year. Just saying. Second year, right? Yeah, second. You know the weirdest part to me about the... Yeah, it's their first year. Just saying. Second year, right? Yeah, second. You know, the weirdest part to me about the... Yeah, it's their same year.

He left and Kidd took over. Okay. Well, I'm just saying. If you're saying, well, it's only Carlisle's second year. It's only Kidd's second year. Third. Third for him. Okay, then it's Carlisle's third year.

Okay. They've got the exact same tenure. He did not. He started right away. Okay. He announced he was going to be with Indiana. You know, the weirdest thing to me about the contract extension is not seeing Mark's name in the statement.

Yeah, it was like Governor some guy. Adelson. Yeah. Yeah. And Nico. Yeah, Mark Cuban. It's just weird not seeing Mark's name on news like that. Well, clearly he's a big part of it, right?

He's a big part of it, but he's not the biggest part of it. Yeah, that is wild. But I guess he'll keep his job for now. Just with what they've done. See, I feel like what made this happen is Lebron getting his coach run from the lakers and then the rumor mill starts of uh lebron really like jason kidd endorsed jason kidd going over there i mean did you see that they were already talking about like tyron lue i'm like your team is still in the playoffs yeah he had to address that in his exit interview.

Who, the Lakers were? Yeah. Tyron Lue basically said, yeah, I'm not going anywhere. Okay. Well, yeah, how could you if you're under contract, though? You know. Well, I mean, doesn't work for us, but. Yeah, Carlisle was able to do so.

Well, you know what else doesn't work for us? Same thing, like in our world or whatever, even the radio world, it's like you have some good years, and they're like, yeah, okay, well, we'll talk to you about your contract when your contract is up. But the sports coach world, you know, college coaches more so, but the fact is, oh, no, I mean, hey, they got – it's just the timing of it really bothers me because it really bothers me the way the Cowboys were talking about their team all throughout last year is what's different about –

well, here's what's different. Blah, blah, blah. A, B, C, and D. This is way different. And then they go and get bounced in the first round. So kind of the same feeling right now is like, oh, my gosh, everything's working so well and you got past the – all right now. It's like, oh my gosh, everything's working so well, and you got past the, all right, new deal.

Like, wait, let's just wait. Because if they get swept by the Nuggets, you think... Oh, you already got them in... A little buyer's remorse? Western Conference Finals, huh? I'm just saying, if they sign him to a multi-year extension and then he gets swept by Denver, then you might think, should we have done this? I would think, think well we were one of the four remaining teams

that's awesome what if they get swept this uh in this series then I'll stab myself in the stomach that's not happening you think they can win this series I do I think I think not having Maxie could be a real problem against Jokic in Denver. Okay. I don't think it's that big of a problem against Oklahoma City. What's the word on Maxie? Three weeks? Three weeks minimum?

Evaluate in three weeks, yeah. Oh, okay. So he's done. Probably more. Yeah. That was really, really bad. Yeah. That's too bad.

Why was he trying to dunk from the free throw line? They all have been doing that. Derrick Jones Jr. has been doing it. Gafford's been doing it. Just hunting for the posterization. But we're at the point now where I don't know if Kyrie just likes playing into narratives, but how does he keep doing this? What do you mean?

Second half. Oh, my God. How does he keep this? Two points in the first half? Two points, yeah. And he finished with 30? Yeah. But it's not like he's not involved.

I mean, he's still a big part of the game. I know. And then he just chills and then goes full assassin mode with nine minutes left every game in the playoffs. Isn't it amazing? Be they down 20 or up 20. Just having that club in your bag, isn't that incredible? It's awesome.

That you know I've got this guy who will do something in the fourth. Yeah. How many times have y'all seen the video of the and one,

three from the corner? Oh my God. Different music. Many. Gafford. Gafford. And I just can't stop watching Gafford.

Yeah. Yeah. And dude, they won a series where Luka cannot buy the backside of a broad barn from deep. Yeah, he was bad again the other night. He shot like 26%. Yeah.

And the feet don't even look right. No. Like, he has no lift on his shot at all. So imagine if that— Above the break, corner, spot up, step back, it doesn't matter. Yeah, had this been the roster of two years ago, they probably would have lost in five. Yeah, I was going to say four. So even with Brunson, you're saying?

The way Brunson's been playing. No, you have to say that Brunson. Yeah. Which is good for him. Yeah, good for him, man. He's now, they're throwing around playoff stats, like Jordan and I can't remember. He's surpassing milestones that only the greats have ever done in the playoffs.

Or maybe it's like Jordan and Luka. I can't remember. And he's doing it in New York. Yeah, which elevates it, right, in everybody's head. Of course, if they get smacked in the mouth by Indiana, I suppose that'll be like a slowdown here. But I think I heard, was it the Hoop Collective? Did you listen Friday?

I think they were discussing, is that like the best free agent signing ever? Best non-max free agent signing ever. They were saying if that's not the best, then Steve Nash is the best. And those two things have something pretty big in common. It's a little bit unfair, though, because his dad was a coach there. Well, only after they knew he was a free agent target, then they hired him. Yeah, well, I guess I'd have to go back and look at the timing, but I don't feel like that was ever really, like, an option.

I don't feel like he was ever staying here. Nah, if you rewind to the beginning of the, you know, right after the, right after he got 10 minutes in Game 7 against the Clippers, he signs that deal if they offer it to him. right after he got 10 minutes in Game 7 against the Clippers. Mm-hmm. He signs that deal if they offer it to him. The three-year extension? Four-year 55. Okay, was that what it was?

I wonder. I absolutely think he does. I wonder. There was no thought that this guy is going to be something outside of the Mavericks. No, I mean, Haralba was telling us they were trying to trade him all the way up until the deadline. Which is why he didn't want to sign it, because he knew he would just be a piece. Well, that once he started playing well.

Remember that winner? That was the December that Luka got hurt, and all of a sudden he comes in and actually looks like, wait, he's not that bad of a starter. He could actually do a little something. And then he thought, yeah, four years, 55, that's of a starter. He could actually do a little something, and then he thought, yeah, four years, 55, that's maybe not enough. But before the season, I think he absolutely signs that. And then

you don't have Kyrie now. I mean, who knows what you have. I haven't looked into the details of this, but is it Tyson Chandler thing, the black uniforms? Because that was pretty badass. They did look cool. Yeah.

The funeral uniform? Well, I mean, Tyson Chandler was wearing a black suit. Yeah. Right? I don't know that wearing the black at home indicates that, but maybe. I don't know. I see videos of Lively walking off the floor into the tunnel in the, whatever you call it,

and he's yelling at Tyson Chandler. It's cool that he's involved. You know, I'm a very big fan of the black. What? Just my outfits, usually, you know? Shoes, shirts, hats, everything. Did I save it? Did I save myself there from that huge hole I had dug?

All right. Well, anyway, I guess we'll continue talking about that as the Mavs don't start until Tuesday. Stars don't start until Tuesday. Of course, we all have followed horse racing. I may be wrong. The highest ratings in 35 years. What?

For the Kentucky Derby. I may be wrong about the idea that it's ending. Oh, because you said horse racing would be eradicated. Yeah, I think I have four or five years left, and it's not looking good. Well, you know what else isn't looking good? That Philadelphia 76ers championship that you also once proclaimed. I paid that off. I'm just saying, I'm just trying to look back at some proclamations that you've had that didn't turn out. There's very, very few of them. And

that's why I can remember. Remember when you said that Johnny Manziel would go to the Hall of Fame? I probably did. And there's very few times when I've been wrong, and that's why you can easily point them out. But most of the time I'm right, and I will tell you right now. What has he got? The Jason Kidd signing. You're not going to be happy about this extension.

Wow. Okay. You've had some hot Jason Kidd opinions that you're not going to be happy about this extension. Wow. Okay. You've had some hot Jason Kidd opinions that I need to check back on. Not a big fan of Jason Kidd as a coach. I'm not really either. Hopefully the players can just keep working around him like they've been doing. I mean, they are like a top five defense though, so he probably does deserve some credit for that.

Okay, if they get to the Western Conference Finals and don't get swept... They have to win one game. I will then possibly change my tune. But as for right now, even then, why do you need to give the multi-year extension? He's on the books for at least another year. Let it roll. Let's just see how it works going into next year.

I mean, if they can win that mid-season tournament next year, then you got something. Right. That's right. Just like the Lakers. Yeah. Unprecedented firing Darvin Hamm after. It's never been done before.

I've said this. Has a team ever won the mid-season tournament and then fired their coach? No. Geez. Uncharted Waters. Yeah. I told you guys this last week, but you are going to hate that AT&T commercial so much in four days. Which one?

The one that Bill Simmons is singing? Yeah. No. Chet. Chet and Shea. Oh, okay. Yeah. The one you were playing.

Sorry. Yeah. They're a very, very hateable team. Yeah. But I also love them. Yeah, I hate them right now just because all the, like Blake said, they got to do everything together. You know, that made, I thought that made LeBron and Wade even more hateable

when they had to do their press conferences together with the Heat. Chris Bosh is just like peering in like he's at a toy store. Well, I've always told you. You underrate Chris Bosh. Chris Bosh, borderline Hall of Famer if you ask me. But he got to play with those guys. Okay. You're going to get really annoyed by SGA.

Yeah. He's like new age Harden. Yeah, if you think Harden's annoying, just wait. Takes a lot of free throws. Okay. Yeah, I can't say I've watched a lot of their games outside of their Mavs games. I do appreciate that there's a guy named Tim who listens to us. He lives in nebraska and he got the email from the thunder that was like if you live in oklahoma kansas or nebraska

we'll sell you tickets oh yeah and he posted it and was like venmo me i'll buy i'll buy your tickets from the the thunder's lot of home tickets. Are we considering trying to go? Are you putting in for press credentials or no? It's probably a little late over there, Chief. Well, I had to wait until the Mavs won. Yeah, I'll try. So the Mavs did win.

It was like Friday. Yeah. Like 72 hours later. Then it was the weekend. What did you do this weekend? Mavs did win. It was like Friday. Yeah. Like 72 hours later. Then it was the weekend. Yeah, a lot of stuff going on. What'd you do this weekend? I hit him up on the other morning

and he's like, oh, late night. Yeah, the Stars played late Friday night. All right, whatever. Softball?

Yeah, we played some softball Sunday morning. We swept, no big deal. Should I take this off on YouTube? No.

Okay. Yeah, what are you on YouTube? No. Okay. What are you doing? It's really early. My weekend check is yesterday I fielded a phone call from one William Pace. Holy shit. What day did we do William Pace last week? Thursday. Thursday.

So go back and watch our Thursday show if you are interested in who I talk to. But, yeah, it's because one of our guys on Friday, the guy who had us out there. Mitchell. Had contacted him to try and book him for our show, not realizing that we had a full slate on Friday. Yeah. Weren't able to fit him in. But, yeah, I talked to William for, you know,

longer than I would have talked to most people. But he's a very sweet, sweet man and I said I wanted to hook up on the show sometime very soon. So, we may indeed have a guest this Thursday. I don't know. We'll just see how it goes.

How's he doing? He says he's doing great. Okay. He believes God's plan is for him to become syndicated and he thinks it's going to happen somehow. He's got to be quite old. He's definitely older than he was

20 years ago. Doesn't invalidate plans. Yeah. Sure. It's just that God's plans for old people sometimes aren't that. Yeah, sometimes it's just for you to die. Yeah, but we'll see. Let's do this real quick, and then we will get to another sports-adjacent topic.

Do you guys have any mail? Let's look. I got a couple birthdays. It's my Kevin Durant birthday. Okay. This is usually Jake's area to shine. Yeah, okay. I'm not Landry. My leaders are Garden State Handjobs and Bandit.

Bandit, huh? He has who it is in parentheses. Do you know who Bandit is? Yeah, Bluey's dad. Bluey's dad. Yeah. He's great. You'd love dad. Yeah. He's great. You'd love him.

Yeah, he is awesome. Except he's like unrealistically great. Ted knows. Yeah. That's right. For some reason, television's Ted Emmerich is here, everybody. Hey, hey, hey, hey. I walked in.

I was talking to Blake and asking him where Matt was. And I'm looking over in the corner, I'm like, is that Ted Emmerich? And Blake's like, no. And Blake then looks, and he's like, wait, it is Ted Emmerich. Just showed up with a lawn chair. Yeah. At Meat Church Barbecue.

Bandit definitely fucking the neighbor. Mmm. You all know I'm right. Which one? The one with the blonde hair oh that's really into fitness yeah okay she's pretty hot yeah she's also a dog well blake i also have a thing for chili, too. I think you know that. Chili's nice. She's also a dog. Tony Frazier. It's Tony Frazier's birthday.

Okay. I never said that. Sorry. Happy birthday, Tony. Dan, I hope Blake hit record so you can shout out Dane, my little brother, for his birthday that was Sunday. I think I did. Are we recording? Are we backup recording?

And are we triple recording? We got the video, too. Yeah. All right. You know what? When Video Man's here, We've got the video, too. Yeah. All right. You know what? When Video Man's here, I kind of... Yeah, I feel a little bit better about it. I feel very confident.

It seems like he's got his shit together. That's my little brother, Dane. It says, Joe Mixon on the Bengals birthday. Dude, I don't know. 28. My wife's birthday is the day after May 6th. That would be today. Her Adrienne Beltre birthday.

29. Special shout out to her also for being two months away from giving birth to our daughter, Lucia, who Jake claims it's never been done before in an episode last week. DF Walter. That's right. Nobody's ever had a kid. That's right. Congratulations.

You're very special. That's why they're always like, oh, it's a miracle, childbirth. Is it? Like some chick just did it at the prom in the bathroom. That's a miracle? And since you started this segment, like 500 people worldwide have done it. Have had a baby?

Yeah. So. Is that a miracle? Yeah. If something, it's raining. Okay. Is that a miracle? The sun came up today. This other guy came back from dead. That's a miracle. That feels like a miracle. Yeah.

Uncle Hotmail. Oh, that's from Walter. And then happy birthday to Jason Ennis. Ennis. Jason Ennis. His Dick Butkus birthday. 53? There's no way you know that.

Was Saturday. I would have told him, may the fourth be with you, but unfortunately he had COVID, and also I'm not gay. Damn, 51. Can you please wish him a happy birthday from his brother in Germany? That's from Matthew. Okay. Dear Mystic Dan, my friend Christopher has a birthday.

Big win for you. I would be honored if... That's right. My phone blew up this morning, including one from television's Ted Emmerich. Yeah. But you weren't first. Was I? You were not first either.

No. So let me know that I should listen to the 840 bit on the ticket in Dallas. Who is this? Wait. Sam Shaw, my friend Christopher. It's Sam.

If you know Sam Shaw and your name is Christopher and it's your birthday, well then that's what we're reading here. And I want to read this one more which

has to do with Meat Church Barbecue Remote. That's where we are today. I'd like to reset. It's probably in the show notes.

For people who are here, you are at Meat Church Barbecue. They know the deal. This is a good crowd. It is a good crowd. On the heels of Friday. Friday was pretty nice, too.

What's the deal with that? I don't know. Since you'll be right across the street from the Ellis County Courthouse, you should know about the lady parts carved into the building. What? The sculptor had the hots for a chick and memorialized her uptops and her well you know.

I can't say that I do. It says here... Her vagina? A woman's most private parts of her body is sculpted on the south side of the courthouse midway. Italian sculptor Harry Hurley was so in love with Waxahachie woman Women?

Woman, Mabel Frame, that he displayed her in stone forever for the world to see. I lived in Waxahachie for over 25 years. My father was publisher of the Waxahachie Daily Light. It's weird how long it's taken for this full story to finally get noticed. Okay, now he's doing an excerpt from someone else.

This says, I was Miss Waxahachie in 1976. Congrats. Yeah. So maybe we'll take a look at that. Well, I feel like we have to go look, yeah yeah we have to go see right that's uh old timey porn could you imagine being so in love with really anyone to want to do that no i can't i cannot but now i'm like super intrigued. Love is not real, boys. Jeez, dude.

Yeah. Just live for yourself. All right. So we have a couple other big things that I would like to do today. Okay. One. Oh, hey. I have one thing I have to tell you.

Yeah. DumbZoneMerch.com. Go ahead. What do we got? We have shirts up there that you can get your state, whatever state that you choose, with the DumbZone logo on it. And I talked to Raymond the other day.

I talk to Raymond a lot. Mm-hmm. There's a dude who's a contractor. I don't believe he's, like, active service deployed, but there's a dude who's a contractor. I don't believe he's like active service deployed, but there's a dude who's a contractor who got the dumb zone logo on a UAE country outline, the United Arab Emirates, which I don't know. So he seems really cool. Maybe they'll put him in jail for it. I don't know. Yeah, a guy named Nick emailed something else, but I'll reveal that

later in the week. That's my tease. He asked, he said, P.S., can you get a Washington State shirt? And I forwarded that

to Raymond. So I guess Raymond at E6 Sportswear will kind of, if you want something, he'll make it. Exactly. So if you think

it doesn't exist, he'll make it exist. That's right. You want a Dumb Zone Meat Church shirt? Actually, yes. He'll make one for you, and then Meat Church will sue him for using their logo. Remember when we got sued by the Cowboys? Or threatened?

We got a cease and desist from the Cowboys. Yeah. You want to tell the story? It was the Dak Zeke 214 shirts. we got a cease and desist from the Cowboys. Yeah. You want to tell the story? It was the Dak Zeke 214 shirts. Yeah, TC created those. Yeah. And within like two days, we had a letter.

We're like, well, I mean, feels like they mean business. Yeah. So we stopped. But yeah, that was the first cease and desist we ever got. You listen to that one. Yeah. We thought we should probably just cease and desist.

That's right. You don't want to fight the cowboys. We shall cease. Yeah. But I still have one of those shirts. I remember we gave out, I think we gave out the rest that we had at like one of our movies. Yeah. I think that's correct.

out the rest that we had at like one of our movies yeah i think that's correct so the two things that uh i would like to do today for sure i want you to teach us all about this uh rap beef yeah and then blake has some sports adjacent uh content for us you want to do the rap thing first? That would be dealer's choice. I don't know what he has. I have a ton. May need to wait till after the break. Okay, wow.

Look at that. Yeah. You're going to regret that. Why? That's a big promise. That I have a lot of audio? Yeah. I don't think he'll regret it at all.

What do you want to know? You just want me to start at the beginning. Yeah. I don't think I regard it at all. What do you want to know? You just want me to start at the beginning? Yeah. Tell the class. I know that Drake and Kendrick have some kind of... Don't just say Kendrick. You're not on that level. Oh, I'm not?

All right. But there's some kind of a battle going on. Yeah. And I do know that one guy will release a song and then the next guy releases a song. And then what really caught my eye, and that's why we played the open that we did today, if you want to rewind and listen to it,

it's a lot of people are saying, oh, this is giving Frank vibes from Always Sunny because like apparently in Drake's last response, or I guess did Kendrick Lamar call him a pedophile yeah and then drake is like hey in his thing it's like he's he doth protest too much yeah and it's like wait if you know if somebody says something that's totally untrue about you usually just kind of can ignore it um whereas yeah like hey hey i don't diddle kids. Certainly not kids. Absolutely not. Not attracted to her.

There's no way I'm attracted to her. Yeah, I don't have the audio, but he basically was like, don't you think if I were fucking kids that I would have been arrested by now? And it's like, I would never say that. Yeah, that doesn't seem to be the response for, hey, are you doing it with kids? Diddling kids? You're like, no way. I'm way too famous to diddle kids.

It's like, well, then why did you – have you thought about it? Yeah, you can't say – I've never been arrested for that. Yeah, exactly. That's not the way – Yeah. That's not the way to say I've never done that. You know, it's kind of an – it of an interesting cultural moment because I don't feel like there's any chance that somebody's going to get, like, killed.

Whereas 30 years ago, I mean, people did. Multiple people. What started this? Everyone hates Drake. Okay, so there wasn't... Me included. No, I know that. See, he can vouch for me.

I've hated him since the second i heard his voice can't stand him just don't like it and like so they're they keep calling him white boy but it's not because he's mixed race who drake yeah it's because like obama was raised by a white family but he has he has different sensibilities than your average Caucasian human being. Drake does not. And Kendrick Lamar is a psychopath. That's really what it comes down to.

He's a psychopath. You're a fan of him? Huge fan. Okay. For that very reason. Okay. Yeah. So who had the first song?

Who fired the first shot? It would have to probably go back like a decade. And there's been like those little veiled sneak shots. But as far as like the one that brought down the avalanche, as they would say, it was Kendrick. Okay. Probably like two months ago. And then from there, things went.

Well, what happened? Well, I mean, they just started going back and forth with like, you know, Drake's like, hey, you beat your wife. And Kendrick Lamar's like, yeah, but you're a pedophile. And you were tweeting Millie Bobby Brown, which is true, and texting her. Who? Drake. Okay.

And she's 13. Yeah, slow down here. You got to take me step by step here. I don't really know. So I think the reason, I mean, Drake is a weirdo, just to start, but I think he's just manipulated a lot of people and stolen from people and he's just made a lot of enemies. Publishing rights and stuff like that. Like he's an industry guy he's a pop star and from what i understand when you're great and

on top of the game and doing that that's one thing but now he kind of sucks and people are going after him now and kendrick lamar is like he's not a pop star like he'll just put out an album every five years whenever he feels like it. He's a weird, weird cat. He reminds me of Kawhi Leonard. That's a good comparison. If Kawhi puts his mind to it, he can be the best. But Kendrick just doesn't put an album out a year.

It's an album every five years or so, and he really, really stays out of the limelight. He's just a really quiet, to-himself kind of person. Yeah. So isn't that weird for him to start going after somebody? That's, that's when you're pretty fired up about it. Yeah. That's when you know it's a big deal. Yeah. Okay. So you tend to take it seriously. And people don't mess with him for this reason. Yeah. Cause he'll come at you hard. Yes. Okay. And that's, what's going on. Yeah. It's cause he'll, he does not hold back. No,

Okay, and that's what's going on. Yeah. Because he does not hold back. No. He appears to be not afraid of death in any way, shape, or form. And he's just probably seen Drake just be the worst person to everyone in the industry for a long time and just had it. Okay. And is now trying to kill him.

Pretty much it. And he's winning. He probably won after the first song but then what was it last thursday and friday he released two new ones yeah friday night uh he put out two and one of them was like five minutes after drake dropped so clearly he had it holstered you know yeah he's had this plan for a while but it is like it's it's pretty crazy to watch this basically occur on twitter it's pretty much all playing out on social media. And other people are jumping in,

releasing their SoundCloud songs, but Kendrick has released these over Twitter, and it's just spreading like wildfire. And you remember Dissect, right? Yeah. You did Dark Twisted Fantasy on Dissect, right? Yes. So that guy's working overtime.

Okay, because he does these things now for i didn't know he does like real quick current stuff now for kendrick he does the dissect guy okay yeah and so you know that's a great podcast series if you want to so good the my twisted beautiful dark twisted fantasy is incredible yeah he's got like 12 seasons now he's with the ringer he'll do like an oh really he'll do like an hour on every song. Yeah. And so he did one last Wednesday. Because, see, here's the thing, too.

Every line from Kendrick has like five meanings. So then that guy, Cole, I think is his name, he has to like break down every single word and what that could mean or whatever. Okay. Whereas like Drake's is much more straightforward. So if there's a lesson here, it's that Drake should have never responded to the first one. Just let it happen. You know, I've been thinking about that too.

Like, how does it end? Like, don't you just have to keep like... Now that he's in it. It's almost like if you have like a brother or whatever and you're like, yeah, but you have, like, a brother or whatever, and you're like, yeah, but you... And then you've got to keep going back, and you're like, yeah, but you... Like, you have to keep going back and forth. Like, is whoever goes last the winner?

That's why I believe the lesson would be don't even respond to the first one. It was really bad, though. What do you mean? Like, the first one was just like, you know, it would have looked bad in a competitive... Like, what was he saying? I need some audio.

The first one was, was, well, okay, let's wind it back even further. So, uh, probably three years ago,

uh, Pusha T. Uh-huh. This is another rapper, Dan. Sure, I'm familiar. Uh,

who was part of the, He was on SVU. He is. No, that's, that's Ice T. Okay, Dan. Sure, I'm familiar. Who was part of the Quicks. He was on SVU. No, that's Ice-T. Oh, okay. Yeah. Released a song where he made Drake acknowledge that he had an illegitimate child. Okay.

With a porn star. Again, though, you don't even have to respond to that, right? Well, I mean, you have to acknowledge... If you're on top and you have a billion dollars, it's like, who cares what anybody says about it? Yeah, but you have to acknowledge that you have a child.

You do? Well, I don't know. Let's look at Jerry Jones. Do you have to ever acknowledge? That's a great point. It also goes back to, I think in like 2015 or so in that era,

Drake got into it with Meek Mill, a Philadelphia rapper, and Drake won that one. So I think he thinks he's pretty good at this whole battle thing. Was that the one? Donovan had me go out

to the Cowboys practice field and ask players about the Drake-Meek Mill. Yeah. That was awesome. Okay. That was awesome. Robert Kraft got him out of jail.

Got Drake out of jail? Meek Mill. Oh, got Meek... Okay. See, I'm trying. Oh, got Meek... Okay. See, I'm trying. Yeah, no, I'm trying to figure all this out. But, yeah, so he has a kid. And...

Drake. Yeah, and he was... With Pornstar. Ignoring this child. Okay. And so from then on... Did he at least give it money? It.

It? Yeah. I was an it at one point. You were an it. And I was not giving money. He actually acknowledged the child after that. Okay. And started taking him to like NBA games. Stuff like that. Okay. But only

because, you know. Because he was called out. Yeah. And so Kendrick just like. See, that was the mistake right there. Keep ignoring the kid. Yeah. I'm just saying, don't respond to the, don't listen to the discourse. Just do your thing. Reddit guy. What? Wants to tell us.

You are very online now. I'm a little bit online. I like to see. You guys seeing the subby numbers these days? Only because of you. They're looking okay. Yeah. We hit 6,000, boys.

But so anyways. Hey, thanks. Yeah, thanks. The crux of it is. Remember, 10,000, and Jake said he'll do shrooms for a whole show. You did, right? Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

That's going to be awesome. How about we'll do it right here? You just sit right here. Right. Meat church barbecue. Maybe they don't want that. It's interesting, be awesome. How about we'll do it right here? You just sit right here. Right. Meet church barbecue. Maybe they don't want that. It's interesting though, like just from a public perception standpoint,

because no one seems, and I'm a huge Kendrick fan, but no one seems to care that he's like, you beat your wife. Everyone's like, yeah, that happens. Oh,

okay. So I didn't even know that was part of it. That's what I'm saying is that Drake's allegation is you were involved in a domestic violence situation with your wife. Because Kendrick is like Mr. Family. Okay. His wife and his kids are on his album cover. Was he?

Domestic violence? Not like legally. Okay. So there's no proof. Yeah. It's more of like, that's what I heard. Okay. Type thing.

And then on the other side. Because Kendrick then doesn't respond to that. That's the way to do it but drake did yeah that's i'm just saying that's the play that's how you win these things yeah don't acknowledge and say oh yeah but she was but you should have heard what she said or yeah whatever yeah you you just don't even don't say that didn't happen right i didn't be just don't even just pretend that never even occurred

that no one ever said that what's the classic hey have you stopped beating your wife right or when did you stop beating your wife when did you stop

beating your wife yeah so that's that's I don't know where it goes from here but okay so so the main thing is

Drake is the dweeb he's a dweeb yeah Drake is the dweeb. He's a dweeb. Yeah. And like a dweeb, he didn't handle these things right. And he's like responding with memes. You know?

Like he'll respond on Instagram or on Twitter with a meme. Okay. And that's just not... Kendrick is not a social media guy at all. Like he's a hermit. And he's just putting out his stuff. Yeah. Pretty much. And it's destroying.

All right. It's pretty gnarly. It's pretty gnarly. But I would again go back to the idea that I don't think anybody's going to get hurt. And that's bothersome to you. No, it's not bothersome to me. You're just saying like the old days.

It was awesome, though. Biggie, Tupac. Friday was a great day for music. Go on. Just the fact that we had two from one, one from the other. Drake's song is awesome. I hate Drake. His song is great.

Oh, okay. His response or whatever, his volley. Yeah. It's just cool. It's just... So we start with you're not acknowledging your kid. The next response was, yeah, but you beat your wife. What was next?

You're a pedophile. You're a pedophile. And next is, no, I'm not. Pretty much. And then what's after that? That's kind of where we leave it right now. Oh, okay. So we're at, I'm not a pedophile after that? That's kind of where we leave it right now. Oh, okay. So I'm not a pedophile, seriously.

That's kind of where we leave it. Okay. So see, the lesson here is Kendrick does not say, I don't beat my wife. He just comes up with a whole other set of charges. Yeah. And so, yeah. Now, yes, that's why Drake should,

if indeed what you're saying is all true, Drake should not enter this fray because there's no getting out of it for him. For sure. But it's weird, though, because it puts everybody in like a culturally weird situation when they keep calling him white boy. What do you mean? Well, because I think we all generally accept the idea that if the police view you as not white, then you're not white.

Yeah, but is it white is lame, right? That's the whole point. Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. But like Kendrick's wife is mixed. And so that was a thing that Drake was like, oh, yeah, you have a problem with white people? And he'll just ignore that.

He did not address it. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty much the move. Kind of seems textbook here. It was a fun weekend. All right. Oh, one more thing. Uh-huh.

Did you watch Euphoria? No. So that's another thing that fits into the narrative. Drake is a producer of Euphoria. And that show is about hyper-sexualizing children. Yes, that's where... So that's why the song is called that. Sidney Sweeney took off, right?

Yeah. I learned about her on that other HBO show. White Lotus. With Steve Zahn, yeah. Steve Zahn's wiener. He had a problem with his wiener. Did you never watch that show? No.

You're looking at me like you've never heard of Steve Zahn's wiener. I have not heard of Steve Zahn's wiener. Did you never watch that show? No. You're looking at me like you've never heard of Steve Zahn's wiener. I have not heard of Steve Zahn's wiener. Dan's wife has. Yeah, for sure. Is that why you watched it? It's a good show. But yeah, no, so that's the thing. So Kendrick named his song Euphoria.

Yeah. Okay. Because it's like, oh, you can't beat these charges. You're producing shows about 15-year-olds who have sex. This sounds great. It is great. It's great music. It's fun. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, how about a break, folks? How about it? Live from Meat Church Barbecue. Let's go to break with the pawns I'm gonna start following the rules but this isn't you Cartman yeah where's the Eric Cartman we know the Eric Cartman we know breaks the rules and he gets away with it just like his hero come on who's your hero carbon Tom Brady right and

what does Tom Brady do after breaking the rules? Deny and subvert. Yeah! Yeah, what would Tom Brady say if he got caught shoplifting? Everybody shoplifts, why are you coming down on me? Yeah! You're Tom Brady, Cartman. And that new principal in there is the football commissioner trying to dictate his punishment to you.

And what happens when an invulnerable cheater comes up against an elitist corporate dictator? Perfect storm of hypocrisy that everyone in the country has to deal with for months on end. Yeah! You're right, guys. I'm gonna Tom Brady this thing. Yeah! I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say,

you're not giving me four days of detention. You're only giving me one. Yeah! No, no, to hell with that. You're giving me no days detention. And then I'm gonna go home and f*** my hot wife, who's not even that hot and kind of looks like a dude. Yeah!

You're listening to The Dumb Zone. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. Give me one of these. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. That's a cool voice, Jake. Today you just

Oh look at that This man knows how to work a crowd That's right Do I have to do everything? That's not My gosh We're not used to like people Don't

Fuck Me Hey now Hey now There we go Joining us now at Meat Church Barbecue. Supply. Supply.

Supply. Get it right now. Us business owners are pretty particular about our company names. Is the great Big Al Mack from the Kid Credit Show? Yeah. What's up? Who is a fellow business owner. These guys act like they've never seen me before.

Fellow business owner. You have a restaurant right downtown. Right downtown. Big Al's down the hatch. That's what they call Waxahachie. They call it the hatch for short. And you live in Waxahachie? I live five minutes down the street.

Okay. Yes, sir. So where do we rank? We have Dale Hanson. We have Big Al. We have Matt from Meat. We have Big Al. We have Matt from Meat Church. Matt Pittman.

Matt Pittman. Matt's at the top of the list. Do you think so? He is at the top of his game right now. And you've talked a lot about how Dale's yesterday's news. Dale who? What was his last name? That's right.

Dale's awesome. I love him because I don't want to get him mad at me. No, we understand that you nearly burnt your house down recently. Oh, my gosh. Okay, Matt, you weren't supposed to tell that story. Matt didn't tell us. Okay. Everybody's talking.

The fire department told you? Yeah, yeah. People are talking. We were there. Dude, well, I'll take you through it. I'll take you through it. I'm making bacon for my wife on the grill outside. And first of all so we're blaming the wife right now

we're victim blaming first of all baking bacon on the grill outside not typically the best way to make bacon alright but I wanted my wife's in the bed sleeping I wanted to do something a little

a little nice that's who you are that's who I am if you know Big Al for five minutes right I'm a giver so I go and make me a little foil trough for bacon That's who you are. That's who I am. If you know Big Al for five minutes. Right. I'm a giver. So I go and make me a little foil trough for bacon or for the grease.

Okay. I put me, I don't know, six, eight strips of bacon in there. Comes out perfect. It is awesome. I am on cloud nine. I take my bacon inside the house. Honey, I got bacon. And so I'm putting it into a plate on some paper towels and whatnot but I forgot that my grill was still on and the bacon trough with the grease in it was

still on the grill that's that's key so I look I guess I was in the house about two or three minutes and I look out you know I don know, I go back out on the patio, and there's smoke coming out both sides of the grill. Both sides. And there's nothing on the grill. I mean, like, black smoke. Like, you know. And this is not common.

You know, no. That's not the way it's supposed to be. No, no, no. If you've seen black smoke, you know, the fundamental difference, black and white, black's always bigger. Mm-hmm. That's what I've heard.

Yeah. But all smoke matters. All smoke. That was good. That's what I've heard. But all smoke matters. All smoke matters. That was good. That was good. That was good. So my wife is still in the bed watching TikTok videos. So she has no idea what's going on.

The patio, there's a cover on it, right? It's enclosed. Not enclosed, but yeah. So I'm like, honey. I knock on the door honey the little window uh do we happen to have any baking soda the grill is in flames at this point she said i don't think so like okay thanks i'm trying not to upset her because i don't want to burn down our house that would tend to be upsetting that would be bad yeah so um so she doesn't realize what's going on

right outside no clue no clue so uh i said oh maybe we have a fire extinguisher i knock on the window again i can get something to knock on i'm a sound effect there we go yes honey do we have a fire extinguisher see now that's going to put a red flag up she's going to kind of a red flag yeah and she said i don't think so i then my third option my next door neighbor he's a hunter he's one of these guys guys he's got uh night vision binoculars and stuff it up so can you and you're like can you shoot this grill i call Scope it out. Or me. So I call him. Hey, man. Brett. His name's Brett.

What are you doing? My grill's on fire, okay? This is real time here. Yeah. And it's very close to the house. Yes. Like arm's length. And he said, I'm at the airport going through customs.

That's not going to help. You're not going to help. So I call 911. At this point, i see flames now um little did i know not only was it the grease from the bacon that i had just cooked there's a bacon uh tray at the bottom of the grill that i didn't even know anything about it's a it's a built-in grill it's it's in the they should tell they should tell you these things in my house. Yeah. Now, you did have the presence of mind to not pour water on it. Yes, I did not pour water.

I did not open it. I might have done that. Okay. Not remembering. Yeah, you would be telling this story, then not me. So I called 911. It got to the point where I had to call 911. By the way, my next door neighbor that was going through customs,

he's got guys over working on his backyard and they're just, they've stopped working and just looking at me to see what I'm going to do. So. Not helping.

No, no, no, no, no, no. But what's this guy going to do? building a pool house and there's a guy out there just, he's just got a pose. He's just looking. Let's see how this plays out. Yeah.

They just love that. Let me see what this is. It's not their problem. So, right. So I called 911 and the lovely lady at 911 says, is it a gas grill? I said, yes, it is. She said, you need to get out of the house.

I said, well, my wife's watching TikTok videos right now. Quite pressing. Yeah, yeah. Giving her very detailed information. Yeah, yeah. While the, I'm telling you. Yeah, she needs to know exactly what your wife is like. There's flames coming out of this grill.

And it could explode now. And now that I didn't even think about this, there's gas. Okay, okay. So, honey, I'm not going to, the fire department says we need to evacuate. So she says, what? She puts down her phone because she was, did I mention she was watching TikTok? TikTok, yeah. I think it was, yeah.

Can't get her off of that thing. She said, holy. No, you're good. Guacamole. Yes. Cow, holy cow, man. Is that the name? That's the name of our, oh, hang on.

Holy voodoo. She said, holy Voodoo. And by this time, I'm listening and I hear fire trucks. Not one, not two, not three,

not four, five fire trucks on December the 9th. I remember the date. And so, the fire truck, the fire guys come in, the firemen,

they come in, hey, what'd you do? Dumbass. Can I say dumbass on the podcast? You can say whatever you wantmen, they come in. Hey, what'd you do? Can I say dumbass on the podcast? You can say whatever you want. Okay, dumbass. Hey, dumbass, what'd you do? I said, can you put the fire out?

We can talk later. And so they put the fire out. They put the fire out and my grill is. Aren't you a big L? Yeah. Put the fire out. We can take a picture later. Yeah. Put the fire out.

We can take a picture later. So the guy puts the fire out. And it's bad. It's like the whole part of the stone, the marble, it's black. There's a TV. It's bad. The only saving grace, like I said, didn't open it so it didn't catch the roof on fire.

The roof. The roof. Yeah, we knew. Yeah. I know know white people i know so uh so they put it out and they want to chit chat and my heart is going pitter patter right now you know i'm a grown man but i'm scared and my oh did i mention when the fireman came in my chihuahua got out oh so yeah so now my wife is more pissed off about the chihuahua being out than she is about me almost burning down the house so she goes and tries to find the chihuahua chico's his name i found him right down here in

the middle of the street and walks out she's a rescue um so they put the fire out they're just lingering lingering lingering and by the time the fire department, they were there for 30, 45 minutes. And I said, did you have to send five trucks? Chief, the chief came and he said,

well, we'd rather send too many than not enough. I said, well, that makes sense. So they put the fire out and they, they leave one by one. The trucks blow up.

My wife finds the dog. She comes back in and I am feeling like the biggest dummy in the world because I almost burnt down my house. So I'm going to hop in the shower to wash off the soot and dumbness that's on me. Because I'm feeling like the world's dumbest guy. So I get in the shower. I'm in the shower maybe five minutes. Ding dong, doorbell rings thinking dogs barking did the firemen forget their acts or something as they will yeah so

so my wife answers the door and she comes back to the shower with the most bewildering look on her face she She goes, did you pick up the phone and order a Traeger grill as soon as the fire department left? I said, no, but I ordered one like a month and a half ago. Is it here? So it just happened to...

It just, dude, I'm not even kidding. It was 10 minutes, maybe, after the final fire truck left. The only thing that would have made it better is if it actually arrived while the fire department was there. Which would have been an even better story. It would have probably taken me another 10 minutes to tell. But that was my brush with almost burning down my house.

Okay. That's great. We're glad you're alive. I call for that applause. We heard it was six trucks. Six trucks? Yeah. I was overcompensating or undercompensating. I tried to round down. Sure. Fives and zeros. Five, ten.

Well, that's just a harrowing tale of your wife having to pause watching videos. That's really the moral of the story in the end. Oh, man. Some girl feeding goats or something is on that, and it's very intriguing to her. Yeah. Or training goats or something. on that, and it's very intriguing to her. Yeah. So – Or training goats or something. I don't know what she's doing. Now, one of my favorite Big Al bits –

Yes. That wasn't a Big Al bit. No. That was just real life. No, we're not a bit at all. You're not playing that? No, no. But I don't know if these guys know it.

It was a long time ago. Okay. The Kid Craddock program. Yes. It was a long time ago. Okay. The Kid Craddock program. Yes.

You were, so he had you go to a local breakfast spot, maybe a Denny's. Denny's or an IHOP, okay. Or an IHOP, yeah. What else is there? Yeah, right. Order the Rudy Tutti Fresh and Fruity something. Oh, gosh, I think I know where you're going. Yeah. And then, well, so what you did is you went there, you ordered.

Then you went to the bathroom. Yep. And you called the, can you pick it up here? So you call the front, the hostess or whatever, from the stall. You're in the stall. In the stall and asked them to bring my breakfast because I was going to be in there for a while. You didn't want want to get cold.

Yeah. So you're doing this on the air. On the air. This is when you could do live stuff on the radio. You know, live, live. Yeah. Like really live. And yeah, I called and I think the lady actually brought in.

She actually came in the men's room. She brought in a short stack, I believe it was. It was a short stack, a couple of strawberries. She's sliding pancakes underneath. Yeah, absolutely. The disgusting bathroom door. Absolutely. Well, like I said, it was either a dentist or an eye.

It's got very nice bathrooms. And meanwhile, I'm sitting there with the stall door closed of course and my jeans or whatever pants are down at my ankles because you got to

play the part I'm being realistic dude oh okay you're like you're going I'm going all in what do they call that methadac

methadac that's right you ate a lot the night before you're going to make sure I'm going to stink this place up oddly enough

oddly enough oddly enough when Kid because we we call these things Mac attacks and Kid would just come up with some idea and send me

out to do it and and he'd stay at the station not get arrested and I would yeah yeah he's

funny how that works yeah so so that was that was one of the funny ones. But gosh, he sent me also to another. No, he told me to go see if I could take a shower at a random white person's house. What?

So this is God honest truth. So I dress up. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A method. Method. I have a bucket of water, soapy water, in the floorboard of my pickup. And so, I arrive at a random house on Beverly Drive or whatever in Highland Park, Texas. Highland Park, we choose.

Oh. Just random. How'd you know I'd find a white person? You know, it's a flip of a coin yeah you never know you got lucky so um and so i uh rang the doorbell of the gate and uh and i said hi um and i'm dressed in a towel okay i'm dressed in a towel no shirt and i put some of this soapy water on my head and my shoulder my chest area you know my pictorials and um and uh so i go to the door hi i'm um i live across the street and my water's been turned off and i have a job interview in uh in like an hour and i really

need to finish my shower would you mind if I came in and finished my shower? Now, the first two or three were not just no, but hell no. But of course, if you are persistent enough, you will find someone that will let you come into your house and take a shower. And so I did. I think it was a lady. And we're just scared.

Thinking back, this is 10 10 15 years ago right a different time a different time that's when it was safe to let a black man come to your house so um i went in and i took the shower and um wouldn't you know it she brought me a short snack and a couple of strawberries. God, I wish that story got that much laughter on my show, on our show. Goodness. But I could go on and on because he sent us out. Well, us, us meaning me. Yeah.

Like, all the time. It was Tom Gribble before you, right? That's how you became Flake Boy. I was there a little bit with Flake Boy. Flake Boy and I did the famous bumper dumper bit. Where you drove around with him on the back of the car? Yeah, the bumper,

are y'all familiar with a bumper dumper? Yeah, you white guys, y'all know what a bumper dumper is. It's, you plug it into your trailer hitch if you're out camping

and you put a plastic bag on it, you duct tape it and if you need to poop, you poop in the bag, right? So, Kid thought it would be a great idea if if we stayed in the studio if he stayed in the studio and not got arrested and um i think rob was here for this weren't you rob chickering oh so we drove around beverly drive that's our go-to street the studio used to be impressed in close by so um so we duct taped flake boy to the bumper dumper so that he wouldn't so that he wouldn't fall off this is safety first

y'all right we duct tape his thighs to the bumper dumper okay visualize this i'm driving a I don't know if to f-150 f-250 something like that and we bumper did we tie him to the thing and I'm driving the truck down Beverly Drive and we're cruising about 10 20 miles an hour nice to safe speed and if he fell off he would be injured but yeah he died so I was coming up die. So I was coming up to the freeway. And I said, live radio. I said, kid, do you want me to get on the freeway? He goes, no. I had already turned to get on the freeway.

And there's no backing up. You don't want to go with a human on the, yeah. Well. It's just Tom. Yeah, it's just Tom. I love Tom so we went down probably a stretch

of maybe a half mile a mile at posted speed 55 65 miles an hour while he is screaming at the top of his lungs

stop stop stop I'm panicking but I hadn't been on the radio that long so i don't want to get fired and flag boy doesn't want to die and kid didn't want to be arrested that's why he's at the studio so but that was the bumper dumper that was uh a very very that was probably the closest we came to someone actually dying.

Okay. I mean, one bad move. A car. Thinking back. Again, it was a different time. Yeah. It was a different time. Yeah.

But, I mean, that could have been really, really bad. Yeah. But instead, it's not. It's not. Things just work out for Big Al. And now we can laugh about it. Yeah. Fire.

Fire. The bumper. Whatever. Bumper, dumper. Everything's fine. And now I'm laugh about it. Yeah. Fire. Fire. Bumper. Whatever. Bumper dumper. Everything's fine. And now I'm just, you know, just chilling.

All right. I'm here with you guys with the Dumb Zone podcast. That is right. That is what we are. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah.

That is what we are. Yeah. I have a podcast, by the way. It's called Third Wheel. And I've asked for people to come watch my podcast, but nobody shows up.

I'm kind of jealous. Y'all got like 100 people in here. Well, they're here for Meat Church. Believe me. Not for us. Matt draws a crowd. He does, yeah. For sure.

This dude takes pictures like frickin' Tom Cruise or somebody. Right. People want to be photographed with him. Yes. I was in line. They asked me to take this picture yeah right right oh dude he is huge but yeah he uh he got me hooked up on a grill so i'm cool yeah which came just in time uh well thanks do you want to hang out we're going to do some more

show stuff yeah uh you don't have to you can do your thing i don't care show yeah i'm done working for the day yeah we're just doing our thing. I wake up at 1.30 in the morning, dude. Yeah? Yes, sir. That's a very sad tale. Sorry. No, thank y'all for having me on, man.

Yeah, if we take a look at this. Yeah, okay. I appreciate it. I'll just kind of hang out and, you know, go in and out. I'm loitering right now. Okay. Well, let's all hear it for Big Al Mack thank you guys

yeah should we go news or you want to do go into the thing that you promised we'll do some daily news let's do your thing yeah

okay ladies and gentlemen Blake Blake Jones. Too much. Way too much. Well, I mean, Big Al got me going.

Like, hey, all I have to do is that? Okay. Yeah, everyone needs it. Yeah. All right, so this is audio from the Tom Brady roast

last night. Initial impression was a little bit too long. I thought three hours was pretty long for a comedy roast. Way too long. Had way too many people up there. But it was a pretty star-studded event.

See, I feel like, though, when they did the Comedy Central roasts, or they'll do the legendary Emmett Smith roast I talk about, the Shaq comedy hour or whatever that was. Didn't Moose kill it? Yeah, yeah. But then Moose kill it? Yeah, yeah. But then they will edit it. Yeah. So they'll put it on Comedy Central

to a nice tight hour. But it might have gone two and a half or three hours in real life. I don't know. Yeah, and that's kind of what I was afraid of. I wanted to watch it live and more specifically record it live just in case anything were to happen.

And so let me start with that. So Kevin Hart hosts it. So you roll on it as it's going. Yes. In case they would. Just in case. Clean it up today. Yeah, and so I'll hop around.

Everything was taken really well except for one joke by Jeff Ross. So Jeff Ross, if you're doing a roast, he's got a, I think he went first. He did. He comes, Yeah, this is his lane.

Yeah. He comes out on a float kind of dressed as like a devil OJ Simpson. It's really funny. He's in football pads. He's got an OJ Simpson jersey on with like blood trickling down.

He's got the gloves on. This is his lane. Okay. But he sees Robert Kraft in the crowd. And I don't know if this was written or not, but he saw Robert Kraft and just kind of went to his one Robert Kraft note. So Tom became a patriot, moved up to New England. And on the first day of training camp, that scrawny rookie famously walked into the owner Robert Kraft's office and said, I'm the best decision your organization has ever made.

Would you like a massage? Okay, so that's his Robert Kraft thing. Of course, yeah. If Robert Kraft's going to be there, you're going to hear that. Yeah, because if you're at the event, all gloves are off. Yeah, I mean, if you get whacked off in a massage parlor and you go to a roast, they're probably going to bring it up. Yeah. So Brady is front and center. He's laughing

at everything. He did not take to that very well. In fact, he walked up to Jeff Ross and you'll hear Brady in the background a little bit take offense to this joke. I love Robert Kraft. I love him. I'll say that shit again. Okay, okay. He love Robert Kraft. I love him.

Say that shit again. Okay, okay. He's having fun. Look at him. Trying to recover. I love what you do for the Jews, Robert Kraft. You're incredible. Tries to recover, but Brady comes up to him and says,

hey, don't say that shit again. Did no one else touch that? Jeff Ross was first, so I think that was the end of it. Yeah, that was the end of joking with Robert Kraft. And it didn't seem fake to me. Now, the interesting part is his rebound from, oh, I've gone too far, is, I love what you've done for the Jews. Which he can say. Yeah, of course, but it didn't seem fake to me. It didn't seem staged. It seems like Brady, at that moment, was like, I have a problem with that. That's interesting, because like you said,

if you're at these, I mean, I'm sure they talked, I know they did Aaron Hernandez stuff, and Giselle, and I'm sure they were, nothing's really off limits at these things. No, no. So that's odd that, I wonder if that was performative. And I wonder if

everybody kind of knew. If it was, Brady sold it really well. Yeah, man, I don't think so. It's like, hey, we can't do this and not mention it at all, but if it was guy after guy barraging him with massage stuff,

yeah, but if we get it out of the open early on, just address it, it's out there. Brady showed robert craft that i would never endorse this i don't know it didn't seem performative but yeah okay i don't know um i should note this is uh audio from a roast so much of it is probably not safe for work uh i'm just gonna put that out there now. Let's go with Kevin Hart. Yeah. Is Meat Church cool with us playing all this?

Yeah. Probably should have gotten permission first. Let's just steam through it. All right. Kevin Hart, he was pretty good. He had to quarterback the whole thing, kind of come in and out of it. He did have a couple minutes off at the top. And maybe this was just because I was in the mood to laugh and thought it was awesome, but I thought his opening was pretty good here. A peaceful life is what you're now living, and that's a big deal. A big deal, man.

For two years. It's been two years since Tom's gotten divorced, right? Two years. Two years. And since then, since... You know, I don't know. Now I'm getting nervous

that we're in public, and maybe I don't want to play that. Interesting. You pussy. Boo! Boo! Okay. There doesn't seem to be anybody that wants you to not play it

unless you're being performative here and just making sure that everybody's... I don't know. Everyone's looking at us and stuff. Let's do it. What is wrong with you? Tom's been fucking. He's been fucking.

Yeah. That's what you're worried about? Yeah. There's like a kid here earlier or something. Tom's been putting that two-inch tool to work. Yeah.

Yeah. By the way, single life is what you deserve because you had no choice. Giselle gave you an ultimatum. Giselle said, you retire or we're done. That's what she said to you, Tom. You retire or we're done.

Let me tell you something. When you got a chance to go eight and nine and all it will cost you is your wife and your kids, you got to do what the fuck you got to do. Do you understand me? You did, Tom. You fucked your coach. But let me tell you something, people.

Let me tell you something. That's what you got to do to maintain your happiness. You understand? You sometimes got to fuck your coach. You know who else fucked their coach? Giselle. She fucked that karate man. No, no.

Listen. What? What? What? What an idiot. Why would you do this? What an idiot. All right. I mean, Jesus Christ, Tom.

One of the smartest quarterbacks ever played a game. How did you not see this coming? Eight fucking karate classes a day. Eight karate classes a day. Eight karate classes a day. Eight karate classes a day and she's still a white belt. She's still a white belt. Fuck, Tom.

The only bruises she had were on her ass. Everybody should have known it. Pretty good. That part's not bad. Yeah. His first couple minutes were pretty tame and pretty... Pretty Kevin Hart? Pretty Kevin Hart, yeah. But he heated up a little bit.

Yeah. I thought he did really well. I wonder why Brady even... Because you've got to think this is very good for Tom Brady in the... If you will sit up there and take all of this. Like, is he on a... I don't know about a rehab tour but a pr tour yeah he's about to hit the airwaves and uh football and everything and i just wonder if you know this

was a calculated bit kind of it had to it's got to be brilliant for uh netflix yeah yeah i think it probably has had to do pretty well um this could be the resurgence of the roast, too. Yeah. Because Comedy Central did it for a while. But again, it kind of got just kind of, I don't know, cookie cutter. Yeah, didn't we have one pretty recently that sucked? I'm trying to recall. I think I know what you're saying. But this could be a new lane for Netflix, though.

Especially live. Yeah. Yeah. They paraded up a couple of athletes. Randy Moss went up there. I thought he was really bad. Gronk was up there. We'll play Gronk here in a little bit.

Was Aaron Hernandez there? No. No, he wasn't. Drew Bledsoe was. Okay. And I thought Drew Bledsoe was really funny. So here's like a minute of Drew Bledsoe. It's a pretty cool stage up here.

Man, this reminds me of the first round of the draft. You remember Randy? Really? You remember? Yeah, first round. Pretty cool, right? So there were rumors that Coach Belichick was going to be here tonight. Turns out he has some time on his hands.

He's got to get his shots in oh yeah at least when i got fired somebody else wanted me oh look uh you know what tom invited his one black receiver here he's a country ass bass fisherman from west virgin Virginia who used to own a NASCAR team. Dude, even your black receivers are white dudes. I mean, come on. His name's Randy. It's the fucking whitest name since Kevin. Rob Gronkowski's here. He's Tom's favorite tight end. Rob's here

tonight, he's Tom's favorite tight end that wasn't a murderer. Jules is a true unicorn. He's a short Jewish receiver, but he also played defense. Belichick wanted him to play nickel. He held out for dime. Jesus Christ. Most of his career highlights are just negotiations. So, look, Tom, I'm really glad that you enjoyed all this amazing success with the team that I built. Super fucking happy for you, bud. You know, when most people lose their jobs,

You know, when, uh, most people lose their jobs, they start drinking. I started a winery. It's called Double Back. It's named after what Tom does every time he walks past a mirror. So, hey, look, buddy, you know, you have more rings than I do. But I've experienced a couple things that you will never experience. You know, the feeling of being the number one overall draft pick in the NFL. And a 28th wedding anniversary. It was yesterday.

Okay. He did really good. Yeah. He's got the delivery down. Yeah, he does. That's the thing, because you know someone else is writing this for these guys. Of course, yeah. Even did really good. Yeah. He's got the delivery down. Yeah, he does. That's the thing, because you know someone else is writing this for these guys. Of course, yeah.

Even the comedians. But you still have to be able to... Yeah, to be able to... Stick the ins and outs of it. Yeah. Yeah. That was really good. It was.

All the comedians were really good. I thought... I'd never heard of Nicky... And also really anti-Semitic. Yeah, that was shocking. A little bit, yeah. That was shocking. I'd never heard of Nicky... You gotta dust-Semitic. Yeah, that was shocking. A little bit, yeah. That was shocking. I'd never heard of Nikki.

You gotta dust that in there. Nikki Glaser before, but I think she was the best one of the night. Yeah, she's big on the roast, I believe. Really? Yeah. Okay. Maybe we can hear from her later this week.

Also, the Kill Tony guy. I wasn't familiar with him, and he did really good. So we're saving some of this for later in the week? Yeah, I think so, just because there's a lot of it. Because there's dirty words and you don't want to play in front of people? No, that's not it.

Can I say something that's annoying me? Say they did really well. Okay. It's bothering me. Okay. You said it like five times. Okay. What do you want me to do?

Why are you looking at me? They did well. Yeah. Hey, Gron They did well. Yeah. Hey, Gronk did well. There it is. Man, this is like a family reunion. Tom and Julian are like brothers to me. And Drew Bledsoe is the grandfather

I assumed would be dead by now. Drew got traded to the Buffalo Bills, so he's played for two of the worst fucking Bills in football. I'm one of five brothers. Tom doesn't even know five brothers. And now let's talk about my designated driver, Tom Brady. Even though we played together for 11 years, I feel like I barely know this guy. Tom's just like the avocados he eats. I think he's a fruit, but I'm just totally not sure.

He did pretty good. He did pretty well. Damn you. What an oaf. I love him, man. Do you? Yeah, I think he's great. I think he's great on the NFL shows.

I think he's – I'm not going to say he's like the Barkley of the future, but I'm a big fan of him on the show. On the throw it around, whatever, pregame shows. He did a shot with Brady and Belichick, and after the shot he slammed his shot glass down. Of course. Of course he did. Yeah.

Of course he did. That sounds great. I don't think anyone was expecting. They tried to tease that. How was Belichick? They were trying to tease that Belichick couldn't make it, and then he walked out towards the end. It was supposed to be a big surprise.

Was he funny at all? You could tell he was a little out of his element, but there was a little something there with Bill Belichick. You know, Kevin, whenever Kevin talks, I go into cover two defense, cover both ears. Okay. Boo. So, first time, you know, some of these comedians tonight, Andrew Schultz, Nikki Glaser, Tom Segura. This is a comedy version of the no name defense. A lot of people, you know, kind of

connected me with a saying called, you know, do your job and telling people to do their job. Gronk. Gronk, I've been watching you on Fox NFL Sunday and I'm begging you, please, stop doing Gronk, I've been watching you on Fox NFL Sunday, and I'm begging you, please, stop doing your job. You know, people have said that Tom and I have butted heads a lot, and in a way that was true, but not really. It was hard to butt heads with Tom because he was so far up Alex Guerrero's ass. Tom Prady's trainer who was in the crowd. Yeah, but he took a lot.

He did. A lot of hits. He did. Yeah, Bill was a little stiff, but he did okay. Yeah, that's a, I don't know. I would think, like, the advice I would give Drake in his beef, if you are an athlete invited on one of these things, maybe just say no.

Just don't even be up there because it's usually not going to go well for you, even if you have good riders. Like that. That's a better example. That's kind of stiff, whereas Bledsoe is flowing a little bit. What if you're Brady? Do you turn it down? No.

You sure? Yeah, you got to do it. Why? a little bit. What if you're Brady? Do you turn it down? No. You sure? Yeah, you got to do it. Why? Just big pub. Well, I guess if you're Brady, you don't have to. You're Tom Brady. You're making $20 million a year, right? $25 a year for Fox?

I think it's $25, yeah. Yeah, and you could just do that. You already have the job. Like, Troy Aikman's never done one of these. You know? Doesn't need to. And he's doing fine. But, I think right now i like brady more this

morning than i did 24 hours ago he did really well just the fact that he in his response would even do this we get up there take all the heat yeah uh for some reason they and i'm going to allege performed very well in the pretending I'm mad at you Robert Kraft joke. You may be right. Yeah, you're probably right. Speaking of here. By the way, it's an escape room now. What are you saying?

Organs of Asia. Oh, okay. Yeah. I've been there. They gave Robert Kraft a mic for some reason. A little context here. Julian Edelman went a little bit before this. And he was calling this like like you know I never thought I

thought I'd see you guys in the same place until Robert Kraft's funeral that was one of his punch lines so he responds to that and he did okay here and you know like many family reunions there are some people I'm desperately trying to avoid. Coach Belichick, good to see you. You really look debonair in sleeves. Tonight has really been funny, but Julian, let's be honest and realistic. I'm not inviting you to my funeral. I'm not inviting you to my funeral.

Tom, good luck buying the Raiders. They did your favorite thing for you already. They got rid of Jimmy Garoppolo. That's good. It's not bad. They, I think they were starting to tease towards the end, like, all right, let's bring up Super Bowl champion quarterback, one of the greatest athletes in the NFL, blah, blah, blah.

It's Peyton Manning. That was kind of a funny twist. He did something. My idea of dinner is Applebee's. Tom's idea of dinner is eating apples and bees. Of course, we all know Tom has five more Super Bowl rings than I do. He also has more touchdowns. He also has more touchdowns than I do. More passing yards. More retirements. More fake hair. More TB12 bankruptcies.

That is all true, okay? But I remember once that Tom told me, Peyton, numbers don't matter. Sure, it was right before he deleted every number in his phone because NFL investigators were about to kick down his door. But it was still nice of him to say. One thing that Tom and I definitely have in common, though, is our love of the game of golf.

And listen, not to brag, we're both pretty good players. My handicap is a 6.4, while Tom's handicap is blowing leads in the Super Bowl to my brother Eli. That was not funny. He was a little rushed. He's got good delivery, though. I like him overall. Those jokes suck, though.

They weren't gold. No. They were very sports jokey. Yeah, very espies. I mean, yeah, that was Belichick, very sports jokey. Yeah. All right, let's hear Brady. Yeah, Bledsoe's were really good.

Yeah. Bledsoe's were good. Yeah, and he led off. Yeah, he was really really good I've had a lot of tequila. I've been up here for two hours. Listen to a bunch of shitty jokes We're the fucking pages walk off the stage Hey Thank you so much for coming out to LA to do this

I know sometimes you live in Denver and sometimes you live in Louisiana, but you'll always live in my shadow. Looks like it's time for Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. to step up and lead us to glory because you and I know and everyone in this dump knows glory because you and I know and everyone in this dump knows he can do it. Yep, the word hero comes to mind. But I struggle with that word because like the rest of America I'll always remember where I was that fateful day in September of 2001 when tragically those two jets slammed into Drew Bledsoe. Fuck yeah. I've heard some people talk about me having bad knees. You know why my knees are so fucked up, Kevin? Because I spent so many goddamn hours on the floor begging Netflix to get

Chappelle to host this. Yeah, fuck you, Kevin. Blazer, Schultz, Hinchcliffe, two racist bears. Who picked this shitty lineup? The New York Jets front office? Nice fucking haircut. That has to be Andrew. Kim Kardashian. Thank you so much for being here. I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight. Not because of this, but because her kids are home with their dad.

That was good. Yeah. He did sound a little sauced. He did sound a little bit sauced, yes. So that was his beginning. He kind of goes on like an NFL humor circuit, kind of making fun of all the fan bases. I thought this was pretty good if you're into NFL and comedy, I guess.

The NFL spent $20 million and found that it was more. Oh, in the beginning of this, so people are hammering him about Deflategate and Spygate and all that. And he kind of just openly admits to Deflategate here, which I think we all kind of know, but he's never outright said it. The NFL spent $20 million and found that it was more probable than not, that I was generally aware that someone may have deflated my footballs, you could have just given me the $20 million and I would have just told you I fucking did it. Oh, my God. You know what I'm saying, boys NFL too upset. I'm trying to buy a piece of the Raiders. I'm tired of

owning just the Colts and the Bills. Okay. Okay. Buffalo fans call themselves the just the Colts and the Bills. Buffalo fans call themselves the Bills Mafia. How are you the fucking Mafia? At least the Mafia has a ring you can kiss. And while we're at it, screw Colts fans. Colts are just Broncos who don't fuck.

The tequila joke, I think. Yeah, for sure. Kansas City, you say your stadium is the loudest. It helps when all your fans are 14-year-old girls. Taylor Swift shot. All right. And in honor of Tay-Tay, let's take a look at the Chiefs' eras.

Terrible for 50 years, good for five. Shake it off. Thumbs down. That's a terrible joke. Philly fans are just racist assholes. But Kevin Hart is from there, so I get it. Yeah, fuck you, Kevin.

All right. And then at the end, he kind of goes down the row, and finally it's Bill Belichick's turn. And I believe Tom Brady delivers his best joke of the's uh bill belichick's turn oh and i believe he tom brady delivers his best joke of the night towards coach belichick everybody asked me which ring is my favorite i used to say the next one but now that i'm retired my favorite ring is the camera that caught coach belichick slinking out of that poor girl's house at 6 a.m a few months ago damn wow getting out of that poor girl's house at 6 a.m. a few months ago. Damn.

Wow. I don't think it was him. It couldn't have been him, right? I don't know. We've all seen it. Yes, it looks very depressing. There's no way he's leaving there shirtless. Come on.

Getting out of that poor girl's house at 6 a.m. a few months ago. But Tom's seen it. Hey, you still got it. Respect, baby. You know, we've been through so much, and after two decades, I finally had to admit that all along, it was you. You're the reason for the Patriots dynasty, because you, Bill Belichick, you are a true coaching genius. I mean, you had to choose between an aging, injured, overpaid Drew Bledsoe and a young, healthy, minimum wage superstar. I could have got a fucking coach from Hawks-Foxborough fucking high school

to make that decision. Run it again, Belichick. Good God. I believe, so that was referenced in the book that Belichick would always use that high school. Yes. That came up a lot. Okay, that would be like a common thing

like if you were messing up in practice. I could get a so-and-so from Foxborough High School to do this, yeah. I think it was Gronk that said turns out he was so infatuated with that school because he was scouting his ex-girlfriend. Okay. I think that was a funny one. I want to end with this.

Nikki Glaser, I thought, was the best comedian that went that night. And we'll hear from some of the others. Andrew Schultz was really good. There wasn't a bad comedian. The only bad one, I think, was Randy Moss and then Ben Affleck for some reason. Whoa! That's weird. Affleck for some reason. Whoa. That's weird.

Affleck? Like the fucking insurance? How do you want me to say it? Ben Affleck? Yeah, you're right. Fleck? Yeah, it's Fleck. Okay.

He's saying it like the duck. Yeah, I get it. I'm following you. I know. I'm just wondering if he... Why are you such a big speed bump during this segment? It's a weird thing to say, Ben Affleck. So usually, like you're saying, though, this chick was really funny,

and all the sports people are like, look at these spares that no one's ever heard of. Yeah. Andrew Schultz or whatever. Those are usually the funniest people in these roasts. It's like guys like Jeselnik when you never heard of Jeselnik is really funny. Yeah. Andrew Schultz or whatever. Those are usually the funniest people in these roasts. It's like guys, like Jeselnik when you never heard of Jeselnik is really funny. Yeah. You know, they make their name on these things sometimes. Yeah.

Although Kill Tony, I guess he's huge as Kill Tony. Yeah. But like I said this morning, I saw, you know, a clip of him and wrote his name down. Tony Hinchcliffe. Yeah. I'd never heard of him before today. But yes, he was the funniest guy. But I have heard of her just because she's been on roasts before.

But that's the only place I've heard of her. I was not familiar with her. What's her name? Nikki Glaser? Nikki Glaser. All right. Thank you, 15 Cent. Okay.

Wait, what'd she say? Thank you, 15 Cent. Oh, okay. Pointing to Kevin Hart, say? Thank you, 15 cent. Oh, okay. Pointing to Kevin Hart, yeah. Thank you, 15 cent. You really gotta hand it to Kevin Hart because he can't reach. No, Kevin, I love you.

No one works harder than this man. Do you know that every morning Kevin wakes up at 4 a.m. to make a shitty movie? I love your movies, or as I call them, short films. I'm kidding. I hate them. No. Sorry, Kevin, I don't mean to belittle you, but you belittle, man. Like, you're a tiny guy. Kevin is 5'2", 150 pounds. 155 after The Rock finishes, but...

Rob Gronkowski is not all here. Hey, Rob. No, Rob, you're not really as dumb as you look and sound and act and are. You might be dumber. Is it true you were the first person born with CTE? Is that real? No, Gronk, I love you. You put the downs in touchdowns.

You really do. You put the special in special teams. You put the tard in Rob Gronkowski is retarded. I'm sorry. Andrew Schultz, you carny-faced bitch. I hate your comedy more than Kevin hates high fives. I really... Now please give it up for zero-time Super Bowl champion Randy Moss! I'm sorry, Randy. Why don't you have a ring?

What the hell, man? You're one of the best ever. Drew Bledsoe has a ring. Aaron Hernandez had a ring around his neck. Like, what's going on? Nice. Julian, you have three rings around your cock right now, you squinty high fuckboy!

Tom Brady, five-time Super Bowl MVP, most career wins, most career touchdowns. You have seven rings. Well, eight now that Giselle gave hers back, but... I'm just gonna... Sorry, Tom. Tom, the only thing dumber than you saying yes to this roast was when you said, hey babe, you should try jujitsu. I think that was... That's gotta suck. Dude, how much would it suck for Tom... Oh my god, just knowing your ex-wife's new boyfriend

can beat your ass while eating hers. That's gotta be terrible. You really are, I mean, you're the best to ever play for too long. I mean, you retired, then you came back, and then you retired again. I mean, I get it. It's hard to walk away from something that's not your pregnant girlfriend. It's tough. Hey, to be fair, he didn't know she was pregnant.

He just thought she was getting fat. And Tom hates fat. I mean, do you guys know about his diet program? It is so strict. But if you follow it exactly as he does, you too can lose your family. And seriously, you can lose so much family. It works. Tom also lost $30 million in crypto.

Tom, how did you fall for that? I mean, even Gronk was like, me know that not real money. Let's go. know that not real money. Really funny. Pretty good? Yeah. Really good event. Blake Jones, everyone! Yeah. Yeah.

Unnecessary. Are we doing news and stuff today? Sure, let's go. Alright. Hey, Ted, want to come over? Come on over. Television's Ted Emmerich, everybody. To join us. The NFL Network has

parted ways with one Michael Irvin. Oh, wait. Can we make sure that the recording's backed up if Ted's here? I don't know if that's an auto-trigger. You were on the last episode. That's the reason I'm here. I knew it would be a good episode. I wanted to hear it in case you didn't triple back it up.

Let's just make sure. Look at Comedy Rose Ted coming in. Blake, you did good. You did good, Blake. I thought you were really good. You do good. You do good. NFL Network parting ways with Michael Irvin. Yeah, I saw this were really good. You do good. You do good. NFL Network parting ways with Michael Irvin.

Yeah, I saw this over the weekend. I think it's kind of like a general layoff thing, but probably the whole, have you ever been with a big black guy comment didn't help him. Yeah, it's too bad. I love the playmaker on the NFL Network. Although, it's not like I would make sure I tuned in to that morning show. No, but it was background noise.

But when he's on, he's good. The best was when he was with Dion. Yeah. And that was with Chris Rose, right? And that was on Sunday night. Yeah. Right. The post game.

You ball, you get the call, right? Yeah, that's right. From time. That was great. But yeah, they let everybody go. Like, they're doing away with the studio show, Total Access, entirely. I think they might even be doing some sort of weird reorganization with Good Morning Football.

Yeah, they are. Like moving to L.A. or something? They're moving to L.A. and they're offering it up. They're trying to get it syndicated. By who? By Channel 27. Really? By just across the nation. If you want to pick them up as syndication, they're looking to get into that game. Yeah. K-Star 49? Yeah. So seriously, it might... Outlook for strip poker and tents. Yes, that's right. It's just a cheaper alternative if you're

not one of the big networks that has, you know... Your own morning show. The Today Show or whatever like that. Yeah. We're going to offer this up. It's pretty cheap. You're running whatever. The Munsters or Giddle Giddle. I don't know what they air on those stupid stations. You're probably not far off. Yeah. So, yeah.

And you love that show, don't you? Good Morning Football? Like you say, background. I don't hate it. I think it's like as far as sports shows go, they don't yell at each other like Stephen A. style. They don't just scream like, that's ridiculous. And the NFL Network has become,

at least to me, I will throw it on just like I used to throw on SportsCenter over and over. I'm always interested in something going on in the NFL, sure. Yeah. Because SportsCenter, I'm not always interested in all the stuff on there now. You don't want to see Caitlin Clark highlights for the 60th time? I'm not that interested, no. Hey, was she in town already?

Yeah. That came and went? Was it a big crowd? I didn't really hear much after. They sold out. Did it? Yeah. What does and went? Was it a big crowd? I didn't really hear much after. They sold out. Did it? Yeah. What does that mean?

It was like 17, right? Oh, really? That big? I could be wrong. Where do they play? No. Are they at the convention center now? I don't think they're at the new place yet.

They're not at the new place yet. I think that was in Texas Hall. Yeah. There's no way that's 17, right? I mean, the new arena, the newer arena that UTA has. It's not 17. They'd have like three. It was full, though.

No offense. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like four grand. You see the video of her with security walking through DFW because in WNBA, you don't have the chartered flights. Commercial flights. Yeah. So walking through Terminal A with a big security guard.

It's a good terminal. She littered up, though. And that's just the sort of thing you can expect from a Latricia Trammell coach team. That's right. Okay. She did light it up, though. Who'd they play? Indiana, which is, of course, coached by Chrissy Sides.

That's what I wanted to know. The Fever. That's right. wanted to know. The Fever. That's right. Catch it. She littered up, though. Who do the Rangers have in tonight? Son of a bitch. I think they play Oakland.

Oakland, ah, yes. Mark Kotze always has his crew ready to... My man. Ready to roll. And they won the series against the Royals over the weekend. They did, yeah. Matt Quattaro. Ready to roll. And they won the series against the Royals over the weekend. They did, yeah. Matt Quattraro.

Quattraro. And the White Sox are the worst team in baseball. Man, that's really surprising for Pedro Grafal. Don't you think? Love it. I love it. I really thought he'd have them kind of playing the way Pedro Grafal usually does. Hey, the fattest guy in England died.

The fattest guy in England? How fat was he? He was 33 years old. 700 pounds. Damn. Video Man sent me this story. Okay. And there's a video of them like helicoptering him out of his house.

That's a tough scene. You ever hear that bit like he was so fat they had to bury him in a piano case? I have, but then I've never seen one. Like an actual piano case? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, he's being straight up airlifted out of this.

But they would also never say he was so small they just buried him in a... Shoe box? Yeah, whatever. Right. Kind of only goes one wayoe box? Yeah, whatever. Right. Kind of only goes one way. Yeah. Yeah, 700 pounds. But, like, they couldn't...

If they can make a small coffin, can't they just make a big coffin? You would think. Yeah. One would think. Are we allowed to body shame people this big? 700 pounds? This is just a... I feel like we're allowed to body shame everybody.

That's what we do. I feel like you definitely think that. Well, yeah. I mean, when you have a perfect body, you can then... Right. That's right. Mr. Olympig over here. Yeah, you can look down on others.

But if you get to 700, like, it's not genetics. You should be shamed. Says you. He's big boned. Damn. My dad got up to 450 at one point. 450? Yeah.

Really, Raj? Yeah. How did he lose? Did he get thumb stomach? He had the gastric bypass. Yeah. Yeah. Because I remember when he lost a bunch of weight.

Yeah. Lost 250 pounds and lived another 12 years. Dang. Did he lose it because the doctor said if you don't, you will not be living another 12 years? Okay. Did he lose it because the doctor said, if you don't, you will not be living another 12 years? Okay. It was the last resort. He had tried everything else.

Now, you could argue how much effort. Yeah, yeah. How much commitment to that. You guys, just go ahead. Body shame whoever you want. I will. 10,000 calories a day, they say. Whoa. I don't feel like that would be that hard to get to. Yeah,000 calories a day, they say. Whoa. I don't feel like that would be that hard to get to.

Yeah, it would. Like, if you eat an entire pizza, you're probably looking at 3K right there. Is it really? Yeah, but then you have to have three more. Throughout the whole day, though. Yeah. How many did you get through during the challenge?

One and three quarter he made. Yeah. One and three quarter. That was also the full. It wasn't a thin

crust. Yeah. And also I had limited time. Time. Just burp. I don't know. Burpy.

Why are you the police today? Grammar police. Pulling over everybody today. Well, the doing good thing is, come on. I was right to bring that up. Hey, I'm not supporting you on that. If that's your fight, then make the fight.

I don't care. Okay. We've talked about this before, but it's back in the news. $100 million high school stadium rejected in Anna ISD. Wow. Coyotes. Yes. There he is. And after a state ISD. Wow. Coyotes. And after a state championship. That's right.

That's probably why they tried to rush that vote in. What about now? Coach Parr has done well. This is going to be Blake's bit. You, Jake with the WNBA. You with the managers of Major League Baseball. The only thing is the only one that could be fact-checked is me. Nothing else is on mine.

Who's going to look up who the Anna coach is? No one. Or the Indian Fever? Right. We all know Caitlin runs that team anyway. Just does whatever she wants. Yeah. Channel GM.

But it is interesting, though, that there are actually people that are like, hey, well, maybe let's chill on these stadiums. Yeah. No, I think it's probably kind of ridiculous. It's almost like the college tuition thing where in your head you're just like somebody at some point is going to say, this is effing insane. Okay. Like somebody at some point is going to say, this is effing insane. Okay, here's a guy that's just opened a 529 for his baby. Yeah.

Who's now thinking, at some point this has to stop. Somebody's got to stop this. These are like TV executives two years ago. Like, there's no way the NBA will be able to. I mean, there's got to be a regression. And now they get NBC in the mix. Right. And they're going to make three times as much as they did.

Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-basketball. You worried about Barkley in that case? He can be a free agent. I'm worried about the whole thing. And the whole show. I'm worried about the whole show. Dan and I were talking about this the other day. That would suck.

Because I read that Ernie said he would stay with TNT. Like that's his contract. Whereas Barkley's contract gives him an out. If indeed they don't have basketball anymore. But, because I just feel like that whole crew needs to stay together. I'm with you. This weekend, did you guys watch Dirk on there? A little bit, yeah.

I only saw clips. I saw the fishing pole. Yeah, I only saw the clips. I should have watched. I did record it. The story of Barkley trying to get him to Auburn. Auburn. Yeah.

That was good. I think Dirk... See, that's tough. I don't think he wants to do it. He would do well in it. He does well in it on a one-day thing. I wonder if he would do well

every day. I just don't think he wants to do it. No, it's a lot of commitment. You know, he's got... You think he does want to work or doesn't? I don't think he wants to work. I mean, he's got family all over the world You know, he's got... You think he does want to work or doesn't? I don't think he wants to work. I mean, he's got family all over the world.

Yeah, he's got bits. He's got kids and they're young. I just don't see him doing that. Yeah, and he was never one that would do tons of endorsements just to make sure he's up with all the other guys. He would just say, yeah, $20 million, that's pretty sweet. Yeah. What if I just made that?

I tell you who's going to be the next one is Draymond. He's awesome. Yeah. At some point in the next five years, Draymond's getting one of those jobs. I love him in basketball. I love Gronk in football. I love A-Rod in baseball. All right.

There's your news. Oh, nice. How do we close this out, Ted? What do we say? The Dumb Zone News. Like and subscribe. I want to get one of those at my house. The Dumb Zone presents...

Don't you have one, kind of, with your alarm? It doesn't ring internally, though. Be cool. I know some people with their alarm system, it beeps every time you open the door. Yeah. And that's a big beating when you're trying to sneak in. Wow, I've never seen Today in History printed out like this. You've got it highlighted and everything.

It's impressive. This is how we make the sausage. Okay. How long have we been going? Quite a while. You guys want me to wrap this up? No. Do whatever you want.

I have a domestic light. Well done. Do you think he should be drinking? Cameron gave it to me. Oh, okay. Today is Monday, May 6th. Did you know that? I do now.

Yeah. On this day in 1882, President Chester Arthur. I'll be damned. Blake. We had a president named Chester. Yeah, how about that? That's cool. He signed the Chinese Exclusion Act.

That doesn't sound progressive. Which barred Chinese immigrants from the U.S. for 10 years. He had opposed a version that proposed a 20-year ban. He said, eh, that's ridiculous. Too strict. But 10 years, I can see that. I can go with that.

The Arthur Travel Ban. That's right. This is the day in 1937 that the hydrogen-filled German airship, the Hindenburg, caught fire and crashed. Oh, the humanity. That's right.

It was on the radio back then. Yes, here's the play-by-play. Here's the podcast. It's starting to rain again. The rain has cracked up a little bit. The back motors of the ship are just holding it just enough to keep it from... It's bursting into flames. Get this car to get this car to... It's rising. It's rising. It's rising terrible just enough to keep it from... It's bursting into flames. Get this, Scotty. Get this, Scotty.

It's rising. It's rising. It's rising terrible. Oh, my. Get out of the way, please. It's burning, bursting into flames, and it's falling on the morning fast. And all the folks between us, this is terrible. This is one of the worst catastrophes in the world.

It sounds like Big Al when it's... Oh, 400 or 500 feet into the sky. It's a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen. It's smoking. It's flames now. And the flames are rising to the ground. Not quite to the morning mass. All the humanity and all the passengers screaming around.

I told you. Play the very beginning again. What do you want? You just sound like a sissy there. Play the very beginning. He's like... It's starting to rain again. The rain has cracked up a little bit.

He's a very professional, deep radio man. Yeah, he's not a steady hand on the helm. And then he sees the fire. Oh, my God! Fire! You know, it's interesting because I know that for many years you added aversion to playing Brian from Ball State, but that's basically just Brian from Ball State a century ago.

Yeah. In a bit over his head. On this day in 1994, Lennox Lewis retained his WBC heavyweight championship. He defeated Phil Jackson. Wow, I can't believe it. That must have been so easy. Yeah. How could it take him eight rounds?

Was that the year Jordan was off? Yeah. The triangle is not going to work in it. That must have been so easy. Yeah. How could it take him eight rounds? Is that the year Jordan was off? Yeah. The triangle's not going to work in boxing. That is ridiculous. A lot of people, though, said Phil Jackson's superior reach. He had very long arms. Yeah. And that would have helped him.

Yeah. On this day in 1999, Whataburger opened their flagship in Corpus Christi called Whataburger by the Bay, a 6,000 square foot tribute to their founder, Harmon Dobson. And at the entrance, they have a life-size bronze statue of Harmon Dobson.

And you can go there and have a Whataburger and look at the guy who invented Whataburger. I think there he is. And just kind of, you're chewing on it, just looking at it, nodding. Oh, this is the day. Nodding. This is the day in 2013 that kidnap slash rape victims Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight, who went missing on separate occasions about a decade earlier.

Castro. Were rescued from a house just south of downtown Cleveland. Yes, Castro is Ariel Castro. He is the guy that kidnapped them. Charles Berry. Charles Berry. Charles Berry. So Charles Ramsey. Charles Ramsey, excuse me.

Was a neighbor who actually found the girls. And here is a news report from that day. Hey, Charles, let me talk to you. I'm talking with Charles Ramsey. He's a neighbor. Walk me through again what happened this afternoon. You heard screaming. Heard screaming.

I meet my McDonald's. I come outside. I see this girl going nuts trying to get out of her house. So I go on the porch. I go on the porch, and she says, help me get out. I've been in here a long time. So, you know, I figure it was a domestic violence dispute. So I opened the door, and we can't get in that way because how the door is,

it's so much that a body can't fit through, only your hand. So we kick the bottom, and she comes out with a little girl, and she says, call 911. My name was Amanda Berry. Did you know who that was when she said that? When she told me, it didn't register until I got the call of 911.

And I'm like, I'm calling 911 for Amanda Berry? I thought this girl was dead. You know what I mean? And she got on the phone and she said, yes, this is me.

And the detective, Cook, right here, Detective Gregory Cook says, Charles, do you know who you rescued? I said,

I said, And when did you see you know who you rescued? I said, I said. And when did you see, when did you see Gina? About, about five. We're good. So about five minutes after the police got here. See, the girl Amanda told the police, I ain't just the only ones. It's some more girls up in that house. So they went up there, you know, 30, 40 deep.

And when they came out, it was just astonishing. Because I thought they were going to come up with nothing. I figured, I mean, whoever she was. And like I said, my neighbor, you got some big testicles to pull this off, bro. Because we see this dude every day. Why is the anchor laughing? Or the reporter laughing? Happened here a year. You see what I'm coming from? I barbecue with this dude every day. Why is the anchor laughing? Or the reporter laughing? It's been here a year.

You see what I'm coming from? I barbecue with this dude. We eat ribs and whatnot and listen to salsa music. You see what I'm coming from? And you had no indication that there was anything going on? We had no clue that that girl was in that house. Or anybody else was in there against their will. Because how he is, he just comes out to his backyard

plays with the dogs take her with his cars and motorcycles goes back in the house so he's somebody that you look and you look away because he's not doing nothing but the average stuff you see what i'm saying nothing exciting about him well until the day reaction on the girl's faces i can't imagine to see the sunlight to be around i knew something was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. Something is wrong here. Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway.

Charles, thank you very much. Dead giveaway. Thank you very much for your time. Either she homeless or she got problems. That's the only reason why she run into a black man. He was on a roll there at the end. He was. Yeah, he's like, you can't stop me.

He's heating up. For sure. I eat ribs with this man. What's his name? Charles Ramsey. Charles Ramsey, yeah. Book him. Book him.

Okay. Well, you see, he's just shaking his head. He's not going to do it, is he? Unbelievable. Who has he booked? I don't know, man. Ted Emmerich? some guy named Matt Pittman hey I'm just here

supporting my favorite sports recreation and comedy podcast hey thanks that's right I didn't get any text from Blake that's right

yeah you need to book Matt to come over here in a minute is he around Matt Pittman still here because we're going to have closing remarks soon there you go

today's birthday is Jason Witten he's 42 you know someone sent to me the photo the other day of his retirement press conference We're going to have closing remarks soon. There you go. Today's birthday is Jason Witten. He's 42. You know, someone sent me the photo the other day of his retirement press conference. It is remarkable that he tried to get away with that hair. The extremely fake hair. The Lego man hair.

The stage manager. Again, the story goes, right? They have these pieces available. Lighting, angles, makeup. You want to try it? Sure. Why no one will notice he lied to us on the air and told us that didn't he he did uh jose altuve is 34 willie mays still alive 93 okay good for him great picasso chris paul 39 brother of Isn't that great? Picasso. Chris Paul, 39. Brother of Cliff. I sat in front of his mom in 2011. Do you remember?

Cool story. Was it last year? That is a cool story. Was it last year or two years ago that he had the situation at the AAC? Do you guys recall that? What is the situation? Like he was trying to get somebody kicked out? Yeah, he had a fan removed.

Yeah. Like a Highland Park high school kid. Akbar Bajabiamila is 45. Running back? I know he was a player, but I know him way better because I would watch American Ninja Warrior with my daughter. She was stoked on that, and he was the host. Tom Cousineau is 67. That name probably doesn't mean much to probably anybody here.

But he was a Browns linebacker when I was a kid. And he was the guy, because I've come to learn, there seems to be one of these guys in every city that for some reason or another, it seems that they might be underperforming a little bit to what their expectation level was. He might have been a first-round draft pick during the 80s sometime. But the big thing was that Tom, like everybody knew, a guy who knew someone's sister who worked at the hospital in Lakewood

in the emergency room and she was there when he had to get a gerbil removed from his anus. So he was the gay. I didn't see that last part coming. Like that he's gay.

Like there's some gay rumor about him but it all started with oh no, it wasn't a gerbil. It was a candle. It broke off. Like,

you know, everybody knew somebody who knew somebody who knew that it was a, you know, whatever. Something was in his butt. A Pringles candle. Yeah. Does a gerbil have a flared end?

It'd be easy to get out if he, if it did. Right. George Clooney is 63. Gabourey, Cidabé. You have the phonetic spelling and everything. Is 41. I don't need you looking at my notes, my friend.

Well, it's right here. Do I sit there during your broadcast and be like, oh, look, you got the stats right there? Well. He's touchy. I'm just saying. The people don't know. They think I'm doing this off my head. You're on video. Oh, I am? Jesus. God damn it. Well... He's touchy. Apparently. The people don't know.

They think I'm doing this off my head. You're on video. Oh, I am? Jesus. God damn it. Who put these cameras here? Fuck you thinks going on here? Music birthdays today. Okay.

Rank these. Bob Seger, 79. Dan. The very bottom. No matter what I say next. No matter if it's Milli Vanilli or it doesn't matter. It was so funny that I ranked him last, and then when the Musers asked Norm his favorite,

he's like, oh, Bob Seger. Every time he comes to town, I'm going to Bob Seger. Mark Bryan, 57. Don't know it. Have no idea. Hootie and the Blowfish. John Flansburg, 64. They might be Giants.

Okay. Chris Shifflett, 53. Foo Fighters. There you go. Yeah. What was the one before? John Flansburg. They might be Giants.

Is that Mickey Mouse Club? What? What is it? Man, I'm pretty sure they wrote the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song. Okay, sorry. Jeez. And Meek Mill. Hey, speaking of.

Aforementioned. Is 37. Born on this day, now dead, Sigmund Freud. Dead on this day, still dead. Yes, they wrote the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I'm telling you. Wow. See, now that you've confirmed it, Blake is really fired up.

That's cool. Died on this day, still dead, Maria Montessori. I believe both our daughters can... In some way have contributed to her estate. Yeah. She invented the school and stuff. Yeah. Mark Tooney died on this day in 1999.

Speedball. I think. And... Died on this day in 2012. George Lindsay. Does anyone know who George Lindsay is? Ah, yes. The gray-haired man knows, George Lindsay. Does anyone know who George Lindsay is? Ah, yes. The gray-haired man knows, of course.

That is Goober Pyle. Big week. That was Gomer's... Big week and a half for Gomer. Gomer's cousin. And that was Today in History. That was. Well, thank you, television's Ted Emmerich.

Dan, I'm just glad to be here. Ted Emmerich, everybody. Yeah. Woo. Had to be here. Yeah, it is fun. That was a lot better than in the den when nobody was cheering you. Now, we deleted that show.

There you go. You can edit that out later. Actually, you know, Blake afterwards was like. That sucked. He didn't know, he didn't like how funny you were. You kind of took Blake's shine that day.

It's the dumb zone. It's not the Ted Emmerich hour. Right, it's the Ted zone. Not the Ted zone. Right. All right, thanks, Ted. Hand that microphone over. The star.

To the star of today's program. This is, of course, Matt Pittman. Real name Yep The owner The CEO Of where we are all sitting right now

Thanks for having us man The meat looks great All the other things look great I don't know What else can we say to Matt? Thanks for the beer Thanks for Saucin' Jacob When you partner with Miller Lite

You get a lot of beer So Yeah not a bad deal okay um it's funny i heard you on i heard you on a uh i don't know i was listening to a couple different interviews of you over the weekend and you were this was like from a few years ago when things were first starting to really blow up and it was you having to deal with the comments yeah which was kind of funny just to i don't know it's funny to see this world that we live in now where guys could go from one profession to all of a sudden now i'm kind of famous and stuff but you can't you can't engage like you can't go back and forth you learned that though

right yeah i mean we talk about this a lot you know i always say like if you kick a dog enough times you're not going to be shocked if it bites you so we do clap back here and there but 99 times out of 100 we don't we don't respond but they're pretty humorous yeah we get some good ones we make these videos like jimmy camo mean tweets where we read the negative comments and I just act like I'm sad. So we're not really engaging. We're just kind of going with it. So those are pretty popular. Those also get, then they get support coming your way.

Yeah, it's disarming. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's good. That's a good way of dealing with it. Got to have fun with it. Anyway, we have closing remarks and you brought like a gift. Yeah, my buddy Matt, also named named matt made you guys a belt this

sucker's heavy by the way this is uh these look like real sweet comfy pants oh yeah these are lulus i'd love to deal with them oh okay you'd love to deal with them i would love to have a deal with that out there in case any luluman people are listening i'm yeah i just in my mind don't know that uh lulu is looking for a barbecue portion. Let's talk about this for a few seconds. Although maybe it does make sense, though, because it stretches out a little bit. When you go in a Lulu store, it's out of control. Yes.

You can be a, I'm just going to say this, fat white girl and have a Lulu deal. The owner, the founder is mad about it. So I feel like there's room in their arsenal for a fat white barbecue guy. Yeah. Why not? What? Back to this bell. Or maybe podcast hosts. Look at this.

A dumb zone. So, okay, what you're looking at here. Can we hold it up in front of the camera? Yeah, it's yours. It is a – is this getting the dumb zone? Oh, the dumb zone. What the hell is this? World Heavyweight Wrestling Championship.

That is a championship wrestling belt branded in the style of the dumb zone. It looks like to be solid gold. It feels as heavy as solid gold. Probably is real. Yep. Probably worth it. It's definitely real. I think it's worth 50K.

Yeah, this is worth more than the Rangers championship rings. Oh, I wore one this weekend. So your buddy Matt had this made? He's back here. Matt makes these. He has a business. He does this. So he knows every wrestler in the world.

It was nice stuff to give one to my youngest son once and nice enough to gift you guys. Okay. He's a big fan, big Dumb Zone fan. Put it on, bro. You want me to put it on? Yeah. Okay, let's see what we can do here. Boy, that is quite heavy.

You're the man. Do you want to snap me back here? Blake, help him out. I can't do that. Jesus Christ. I'm sitting here talking. How am I supposed to do that? Yeah, you got people for that.

Yeah, yeah. Somebody help me? That looks beautiful, man. Yeah, thanks. Take your shirt off, too. Yeah, you know what? I'm going to. What's his business called?

Is that what you want? Fan do. Fan do belts. We'll put it in our show notes and all that kind of stuff. I'm going to go home and wear just this. Yeah, see if she likes it. Yeah, I'm sure she'll be thrilled. Just kind of saunter.

Put the kids down. Bath time's over. You're done. There's no big sports on the night that you care about, right? No. Definitely not. Just kind of walk in the bedroom and see what's up. Who's the champion?

Yeah. How do you think that'll work? Let us know how that works. Yeah, I will. I absolutely will. Yeah. Yeah. Because it didn't work for me.

Oh, okay. That's already been tried once. That's awesome, man. Well, thank you so much, Matt. Great to meet you again 17 years later. In 17 years from now, we can bowl together again. Yeah. Well, what if we do it a little sooner?

I'm available. Next time. Hey, there's Radio's Psycho Dave is over here in the corner. Psycho Dave, everybody. Psycho Dave. Yeah. What an ender. Yeah, any other closing remarks, or are we ready to get out of here?

I appreciate you guys being here. It's been a ton of fun. Thanks for having us, man. Sports. Adios, mofo. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, They still do a show but not on their waves He still does the news but it isn't at a specific time It's easy They're casting a pod that must be cast And listenership loyal and vast We'd find them even if we had to download Hotmail to tune in

it's easy Dan and Jake are dumb Dan and Jake are dumb even Rake is dumb dumb but dumb is all we But dumb is all we need Dumb is all we need Dumb is all we need

Dumb is all we need Dumb is all we need Dumb is all we need Dumb is all we need Dumb is all we need Dumb is all we need Dumb is all we need